Legends of Avantris - A Very Feywild Holiday Special | Yuletide One-Shot

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

A madcap holiday one-shot in the Feywild!   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/yzao7LqNRfY?si=cF8xFEmBCb-rVgOJ

Welcome the Legends of a Ventress. The smell of cinnamon and cloves is so strong that at first it almost hurts to breathe it in. The cold air pricks at your flesh and helps to relieve the ache in your belly. Your head is still reeling from the pull behind your navel. The constant reminder

that you've been pulled through space and time called forth once more by Oberyn himself. As you look down at your hands, your knuckles are white from the grip you still hold around the invitation. Though it feels like days, it was but a mere few moments earlier that you heard the sound of jingling bells

and the invitation began to hum and vibrate in your bag. You didn't even have a moment to read the words written there. But as you look down, you see a familiar sight. But this time, the invitation to the 12 days of Yuletide revelry and the battle between the U-Lord and the Holy King for the Wheel of the Wild. A sharp intake of breath pulls the frosty air deep into your lungs.

The shock of the frigid air pulls you from your thoughts and the still silence that you had endured is pierced by laughter and the sounds of dance and merriment. You look around to see that you were side by side with your friends. All together in this place, a beautiful frozen hall decorated with colorful

baubles, bright twinkling lights, reeds of evergreen fronds and roaring hearth. Hundreds of fay creatures flit and dance around you as you look about this gloriously decorated icy ballroom. Trees taller than any you have ever seen line the walls, covered in

ornaments and twinkling lights. Softly dancing snowflakes fall perpetually from the ceiling and dance around you, landing on your nose. You see that they're not snowflakes at all, but the tiniest of fay, dancing together on the cold wind that flits about you. The sound of merriment is broken only by the sound of loud, booming laughter. Oberyn sits at the head of a line of tables, dressed in lush green velvets and leathers, ivy laced around the antlers atop his head. Dancing lights flicker about his form as he laughs and gulps down heavy drops of wine. He's deep in conversation with a bear of a man. Next to him, just his size, if not slightly larger, sits a man with a twinkle of pure joy in his eye. His thick Auburn hair and beard is interwoven with sprigs of holly and mistletoe.

A light dusting of snow make him almost appear to sparkle in the undulating firelight that illuminates the room. He's dressed in fine red velvets and hearty leathers. He appears plump and jolly as he laughs alongside Oberyn. His cheeks in the tip of his nose, both blushing a soft pink as if kissed by the winter winds. At his side, a polar bear cubs sleeps peacefully by the fire,

occasionally stirring as the man reaches down and scratches behind his ear. Both men appear to be firmly locked in conversation. You make a motion to move forward. And as you do, you hear a voice call out. I wouldn't do that if I were you. Looking behind you, you see a small, fay woman. She couldn't be more than two feet

tall. Her body is covered in sprigs of holly and ivy. Uh, who are you? Where are we? Her skin is covered in beige fur and spotted with pure white patches. Atop her head are two twisting antlers, a wreath of evergreen hanging from each. She moves towards you on two hooved legs as she ushers you towards the edge of the room and one of the roaring hearts. You're friends of the jewel, Lord, aren't you? I wouldn't interrupt them just yet. I'm sure if you want to see you, but only after the festivities have fully begun. I'm Jacqueline Fraust.

Greetings, my name is Morning Frost. Oh, great, you can call me Jackie. Jackie. Jackie Frost. Oh, you guys related? What? Frost and Frost? No.

No, I don't believe we are. They're spelled completely different. How are you spelled? F-R-A-U-S-T. That's how you spell Frost. No. No, it's with an O. An O?

Yeah. I've been spelling you wrong as whole time. I've never seen you. right. I should have gotten hooked on bonnons. Hooked on common. She leans to the side and she takes two or four foaming mugs

of frothing warm eggnong and she hands it to each of you. It's freezing you here. Drink up where you catch a death of hold. Now, who are you? Frost. In the goblin hold, all we ever had was hooked on commoners.

That was a much different program. Anyway, my name. That's a horrible name. very long. It was very horrible long. I don't know... Goblins made it. Anyways, my name is Grickle Grim Grin. It's very nice to meet you. And this little lovely lasses who'd see, she's a little baby Albae. I know you can see her, but for viewers at home I'm describing, full, for the theater of the mind. I'm René Jube. What does that mean? A bit... Oh, Enchante.

Enchante means it's nice to meet you. Oh, no. I didn't know that. Did you swallow something? Is she choking? No, this is great. I really appreciate the... No, there are no grapes here.

This is egg-k-k-k-k-k? Egg-knock? What? Is this not egg-nog? Correct? I'm not sure when any egg-nog is. Yag? Is that from Neo-G?

It's very great. I really weren't. I think she's trying to say egg-nog. Oh, yes, it is. Oh. It will keep you really... warm here. Thank you.

You not wearing any, well, clothes. I was? No, am I wearing clothes? Well, not real clothes. Those are going to do anything for you outside. But it'll feel quite warm. No, you don't.

It's freezing in here for you. Oh, okay. If there's nothing between you in the middle of that armor and you start to sweat, then you will stick to it and you will experience terrible blisters. Because that's what happens

when you stick your tongue to a pole. Yes, but your whole body. My whole body. Yeah, and what's your name? Uh, Wadaddo. The name's Cremid LaCrew. That's a horrible name, Wadadadu.

No, no, that was my greeting to you. My name is Cremie LeCrew. What's a greeting? Cremie. It's a pleasure to meet you. Greeting's a Cremie? Where the hell are we? We are being invited.

Of course. I heard that you bested O'Brien during the wild hunt. So you're his esteemed guests. It's not really a big deal, Hormana. It was just this. which they prepare over and to sleep celebrate the tour is the most fun. He only rains for 12 days? What does you sleep though?

I have not known that men's... Well, half the year. Oh, yeah, that's an altitude. Until they fight again to bring in midsummer. And Overn always wins in midsummer. Well, you know, you were there, the wild hunt. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, so, they fought probably after we fought.

And then he took a sister... After we got teleported away, he was probably like, man, I need someone that I could beat, so. I'm gonna have a foal guy. What's a fulga? Oh, like, because we beat hands. Yeah, he's like, well, I'm gonna show that I'm too strong. I've got, oh, hey, you, why don't you, why don't you take a fall for me?

And he's like, yeah, that's fun. Just do me a solid in six months. I think he's making a pun. He's like, I'm going to take a nap. Ends and fires besides. Oh, because like the season fall, like is that? Yeah, that's what I thought he was. He was magic.

No, fall. No, it's mid-summer. It's not mid-fall. baby midotam if I was that before now What's a bidotum I was gonna say the same thing I was gonna say the same thing

I mean not beat I mean I never I never read hooked on common or enrolled in the program Have you read Properly? I did read a book That's why my wisdom was so hard

I don't record that Exactly what you're efficiently drunk Do you have any more eggnog Oh of course Do you have any other types of nog. Is there other types of knock? I just was asking, I don't know myself.

There's normally the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic variety first. Huh? Is it always this boozy? I don't know what that means. She's asking if it's very busy today. It's really busy. It's very busy. It's a holiday mate, duh.

Everyone is here that could be here who's important. It is very busy. But the turnout looks pretty good. We need to take Mar-Rov. I mean, yeah, well, thank you. No. We had a little help. We had a little help from, not my friend, from snake tits.

No, not Tateachian. You don't refer to her like that. What is wrong with you? Manhouse. You cannot say that. Manals? Manals? Mano.

Was that the name of snake tits? No, this isn't a manhouse. This is an everybody house. He's referring to the Merylithy train. I don't know who Tantiana is. Who's Tantiana? Is she hot? God damn it.

Dantania. You're thinking of Tantania. God. Oh, no. She's new here. If he had titanium, he would have said snake titanium. It's very cold. It is right around this time that you see as Oberyn and the Holy King rise from their seats,

a hush falls over the entirety of the room as they stride towards the very center. Jekyllene leads towards you. This is when they'll shake hands and the celebration will commence. I'm so excited. I'm sure nothing bad. No, no, shut up, shut up.

Just shut up. Be quiet. Drink softly, shut up. And we're shutting up, Jake. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm excited, excited, I'm excited. As she calms herself down, you watch as they both move around opposite sides of the table and head towards the very center of the room. The Holly King bows down towards Oberyn, his bushy beard bouncing as his as he chuckles, his jubilant laughter reverberates through the entire. entirety of this room, the Oberyn leans back completely dressed in his green velvet,

it's a stark contrast to the Holly King. And as they meet towards the center, their eyes meet and they both smile at each other with a knowing look. This is a dance that they have done for time immemorial. So they reach out and clasp hands. You can feel the shock blast through you almost immediately. Oberyn's face, no longer. longer looking jubilant, a sense of worry and fear. As you begin to see shadows undulate and twist around the hand of the Holly King. His nails elongate into razor-sharp black talons as you watch the skin on his hand shift in change into a strange gray leathery shape.

His outfit begins to meld with him as you see the beard retract up into his face as it elongates. The crown, the wreath of Holly. that he had held aloft on his head, completely, begins to die and wither and break away as two sharp horns come out of the top of his head. Teeth, fangs begin to make their way out of his mouth as his legs turn into hooves. You attempt, you stare almost in an effort to move forward.

You feel your body locked up. You can feel a warm sensation in the pit of your stomach. There's something strange about this eggnog. And as you attempt to move, you realize you're held at Bay is a wicked laughter begins to reverberate throughout the halls as you see this creature now four or five feet taller than Oberyn in his form leered down at him a tongue lashing from side to side

you see as a woman dressed all in white begins to move forward she begins to shift and change almost as you're look as if you're looking through some sort of illusion as you see that she begins to shrink and become squat. A haggard, older woman begins to cackle and laugh around as you see that she is not who she looked to be.

Presence lining the edge of the wall begin to burst open. One, two, three, four, twelve in total. Twelve small, um, shriveled, troll-like creatures begin to rush around the room and you're held completely at bay,

unable to move as you watches these creatures on her command, snapping her fingers, no one is able to move but her and these creatures as they grab child after child after child from all over the room as they begin to fling it towards the creature in the middle

a large black sack around his back as he pulls it open and throws the children into it. As you look around you're still able to see, you see all of the children gone and now in the sack and you hear I will reign supreme

now. Crempus, follow mother. As she begins to move from the room, you see this hulking form, what used to be the jubilant form of the Holly King, now a horrific monster, follow after her. And as he makes his way towards the door, you watch as he turns around, his tongue swinging from his mouth, he whips it around and lashes against Oberyn's face,

a thick, greenish-brown, purest, utrid saliva begins to stick to his face and drip down around his chin and see his eyes roll back. And though you can never imagine something strong enough to put a fay to sleep, whatever this is has done the trick as Oberyn crumbles to the ground and you all fall unconscious. Does this always happen? And I burn my turn! I forgot to put the kids to sleep, God damn it! You wake up and you find yourselves in the same room.

But it's different now. The snow is falling much more heavily. The decorations lining the walls are completely gone. We're alone here. It's cold and you can feel it to your very bones. You imagine staying in this kind of weather for too long is going to have a number on you. Who has the invite?

Man. This will dream? Fayy wild has some fucked up holidays, huh? Born away, you didn't speak. You don't have your eggnogany. The enoch was poison. Stop drinking, no. It's rum.

It's right. Hey, give me some of that. Come on. This will warm you up. Here you go. Here you go. I'm cold blood. I'm gonna get out of here.

Um, so, what was that supposed to happen, do you think? No, I don't think that was supposed to happen. Are you sure it's not like, you know, a dinner in the show kind of things? Like, oh no, what happened? happens next. No, I think that there's great evil happening right now and we just, I mean, they stole children. You saw that happening. The crying and the green goop out of the mouth and so they weren't like volunteers like, oh, who was to volunteer, you're part of the show, and all the kids are like me, me, me, huh? Who puts children in their class to alcohol? Why won't

they in bed? Renée, Renee, you know, you know, in a situation like this, I didn't think that you could really want up yourself as a blanket that's been like, you know, damp. But I figure this is more of a deluge blanket. Does anyone know who that woman was? What? What woman? I mean, it looked like some kind of hags.

Yes. There's always eggs. Wait, that. I think I do. Joclean? Yeah. Hi. Jackie?

Yes. Oh, no, continue. Yeah, no, I was hiding over there by the table. Jekline? What? Decline? No, it's Jekline. No, I haven't declined to have a...

What happened? Shicline. Frost. Frost? Frost? Frost. Is there a Mr. Duclean? What?

No, don't worry about it. Let's ask important questions. Well, not now. Not now. What are you? Absu. Well, me. Why not?

The one day I did not prepare ceremony. Who was that? Go Rila. G-R-Y-L-A. G-R-Y-L-A. G-R-L-A. R-L-L-A.

And she is an egg? And those lads But you old lads They're actually called that mystery So I didn't make that up The you lads, they didn't seem like lads at all Yes They seem like very unladlock

I want to call them me lads I call them some Some blokes who all don't care for Not the close to lads Well that's just what they're called here Yikes And three days of revelry And those are the

And then when does the six month Nepepepin? I don't know what a napapin is And that a Nepepepin? Is that a new type of a favorite name? I want to know in the six months it's nice. It's nice to be learning about other

cultures. After the... Hmm. But that's not happening now. No, and if it doesn't... I don't know. I'm so scared. It's not harder than they ever have. The eternal Everglade is dying. Hmm. It sounds like you have a terrible problem, Jackie.

It is so lucky. The other way. No, you must have sent something was happening. Well, we can be heroes that we need to be. I stayed. Were there others who did not stay behind? They Oh, that's terrible. So what can we do? How can we help you? The Holy Hull.

That must be a log is there. No. You need to... And you're sure they're called the Yule Lounge. Can you please roll it D100 for me? Can you skip this song, by the way? 75. No, 57.

57. Okay. did. Yep. Oh. No. Oh. Did you see it in a document? I didn't. What? No, a parchment.

Oh, parchment. Okay. Well, I guess we'll take care of the U-Lat and, um... Fifty-seven. Oh, I know. I saw. I marked it later. Oh, no. We need to make our right. This is a DNA. We would follow you, Shaquille.

Yes, the only way there. We have to travel through the Grove of the Eternal Everplayed and across the frozen winters. until we make it to the holly halls. Are they holly jolly hulls? Huh, sure, yeah, but we're going to have to get there and I don't know those outfits, but it's what you've got so well. Are you ready? Can we get special, like, winter outfits?

Like at least a jacket or something? Do you have any suggestions? Well, I don't know. You probably should have changed before you came to a land of Eternal Winter, but you know, I can't make those choices for you. We didn't really have a choice. We kind of just started out of the invention being teleported here. Well, to be fair, I chose to look at it.

Oh, that's true. Actually, I'm pretty sure that we have really fine, heavy fox pelts in your bag of holding. I opened the bag of holding. We have those winter clothes that we took to the winter. Yeah, we do. We've experienced winter before. Perhaps this isn't enough, but it might help. Storms began to brewing.

I don't know. I don't know you in to catch pneumonia. Why did you mention it before? When is she? I'll head out. Outfits for me. Frost. And, uh, man.

You're going to get so many blisters, Renee. Very terrible. If you need someone to lands to blisters, I'll volunteer who too. So, we should be on our way then. Let's do it. She begins to lead you out of these holes, the winding passages, which you can imagine mere hours earlier

would have been filled with revelry and decorations are now completely empty. Oh. Almost as if they've been lost to time. And as you make your way outside, the crunch of snow beneath your feet is echoes along, echoes out in front of you. And as you look around, you see that down a path directly in front of you,

what would have been a enormous grove of evergreen trees, but now slightly less green, slowly fading to brown, as if for the first time they're succumbing to death. No! Well, they're not completely gone yet, but we have two days. Why would they call them evergreen if they're not evergreen? Sorry, no. Until...

If there's one thing that Gricko Grim Grim Hites, it's not really children being thrown in the bags and used for sacrifice. It is ill-fitting names. We will get to the bottom of this and we will save the eternal evergreen.

Oh. She snaps her fingers and you see as where this fawn had stood is now a plump snowman. And as she begins to bounce along, she motions to you with her branch-like arm. Well, follow me.

Hey, Grammy, you see how plumbus, no woman is? What's your point? She's very plumped. Made of snow. It's a very interesting concept. Does she look big like Andrew Kuzzi, Google, yeah? Yes. Very much, so.

Go, we must follow her, or you don't have much time to waste. Well, let's go. We only have two days. I'm very chilly. I mean, how far are we going to be? If it's gonna take us two days, I mean, we're gonna freeze to death before anything else happens. Yeah, pro. Let's go, come on. I'm gonna wild shape into a walrus.

Reh doesn't that's fitting to this location. Let's see you like to look like. You'll be moving at half speed on the snow. Oh, this is pretty fast. Can I like slide? Yeah, if you're on ice. Oh, fun. But the snow is very thick and it's hard to move through.

Oh, Kajuchi, I'll rod you. Dona, my dear. Then we can ride... That's ridiculous. What you did this last time, one of us can ride you, one of us can write you, one of the can buy... Don't you, that would be an insult to the Holy King. I would yet?

Yeah, Renee. I thought you were learning about over-accustomed to the cultures. The ghost is so would you know. But you wouldn't have done it anyway. I would know. What reindeer? That seems very ill-fitting for this adventure. Why would I ever turn into a rain deer?

But what would have been respectful to turn into? That would be of this climate. you have a cold. You should really use some tissues. There are frozen in my bag, sweet out. I was a Lucernex if you want to like borrow one or two. I think Mutinex is actually a demon lord. You've been practicing demon worship, but I mean? You don't know what I work.

You don't know what I worked. I don't want it. I don't want your voodoo tissues. I mean, if you're trying to pry, like, did you go down a few of my words? Did you go down to crossroads and meet old mucinac? I'm just still at Walrus? How are you speaking? No, I chipped it out again. I thought like it was going to be a holly-jolly Christmas time adventure,

and we were going to Dittie-Conracing. What? This is Yul-Tide. A holly-Jolly U-Tard adventure, and it would be a Diddy Kong racing appropriate, and the first thing I thought of was Walrus. Pardon me. Well, it'll just take you longer. No, it's fine.

I'll ride me owl, bear. She's fine. She's snucking. Penguin? Penguin? No, penguin? A penguin? Penguin?

A penguin? Do you mean penuins? Penuins? Penguins? Penguins? Penglings. So, I love penguins. Frosty, everyone thinks that North Pole has penguins.

But no, they are from the South Pole. They're not even anywhere near this place. They still can deal with ice. This isn't a pole. Well, no, she said there was an ice, and that's why the walrus couldn't slide, right? So you had the same problem. No, this is forest floors of snow. Oh.

Passes. And then you'll get to risk and fly across that. Oh, very. much would like to do that so why don't we hurry on to that sure let's go so you make your way you make your way through the you make your way down the slope and eventually find yourselves in the grove of the eternal everglade and you see that towards the bottom evergreen evergreen sorry yeah i wrote it i thought it i thought i was gonna like me oh everglade like okay yeah i just wrote it incorrectly it's evergreen or autocorrect.

I'm going to blame auto-crack. Yeah. Fucking auto-crag. You make your way into the forest and you see that the bottoms of the trees are still that perfect deep green. It's at the tops where you could slowly see that they are draining of their life. And as you make your way through, it's eerily quiet. On occasion, you see a reindeer flit out of the shadows. and Jackie says,

Oh, that's one of the Holly King's prized reindeer. They live in the grove. They're lovely. They can traverse anything. Should we eat one? What? No. Are they unaffected by this like blistering cold?

Of course. They can traverse through anything. Oh, well. Should we try to wrangle one and ride it? Is it what I mean, like, disrespectful? Or so we risky. All right, well, uh, just give me a moment. Don't kill it. I'll use bonus action to change my psychic focus to beaestial form, which gives me advantage

on it, animal handling checks. And then I will start to stalk forward through this, no. I'll be like, oh reindeer, greetings, please. Please. We are but a group of humble adventures. Please allow us to ride you to our next destination. Roll animal and one.

14. You watch is the reindeer actually moves towards you. Oh, thank you for the is a role

on the nod of your nice day. In Hanska, you get to choose one of the party members Frost, Rico, Kremi, or Renee

to force them to roll in the Nadiya nice so bad. Not of your nice. So once you do that, let me know and we will resolve that. The reindeer

slowly move towards you and you see that there is joy to his face as he leans down and bows before you he raises himself back up what are you gonna do I will attempt to approach and pet the reindeer to familiarize himself him with my touch roll it out do you like be you slowly bring your hand down to the reindeer fur. And you pet between his antlers and down along his back

and his fur is soft and warm. And his head moves in and he snuggles towards you. He seems to be enjoying it. Does it look like he can carry my weight? Yeah, easily. He seems to be very familiar with your touch, Rosby.

Yes. Let's not have to get into it. He's familiar with your scent now He's robbed it all over him. Good. So I need you to roll at D-100 on the Nariya Nye stable. He hunts could have won't do you roll. Give me some 54 in addition to that earlier 50s.

I need you to roll at D4 for me, please. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Uno. One. Color in one spot on your holiday Christmas stonkin. Oh, nice. We all got one of these.

Choose something from the, Holly King's bag of gifts. He has no power. He shaved his beard. Oh, there's so many goodness. It's a big old sack. Feeling like a trifold thing going on in here? Like this? Is this cool?

This is one piece? Okay. Oh. Oh, no. I got a legendary jolly red bag of holding. This large red sack has a thick white fur lining. It acts as a normal bag of holding But can also change in size

Depending on how tight the cord is pulled It ranges from the size of a cat It ranges from the size of a cat To the size of a small pouch As a bonus action Whoever is holding the bag can alter the size Every time the size of the bag has changed It lets out a hearty, warming laugh

Of the Winter's father As an action, this bag can be used To trap an entity that has been naughty The target makes a charisma saving throw against your spell save DC or is trapped in the bag for 24 hours. The bag functions as an anti-magic shield while someone is trapped therein. Additionally, it has 10 charges of the gift of giving. You can use one charge to pull a present from the bag, roll on the knotty or nice table

to determine what you pull. Well, this bag just appeared in my hand. Did you get that to me? Is it funny? You watch as the reindeer leans towards you and nozzles into you. Oh. I think we're friends now. My name is Morning Frost.

These are my companions, as well as the Snow Woman over here. If you will help transport us, you could be a hero and aid us in our journey to save Yuletide. He digs into the ground and knuzzles you. He doesn't even understand a damn thing you're saying, but he likes to sound your voice. Means. I will attempt to get on the beast. You begin to climb onto the beast, and you see as he's sniffing at you, and he rears back, almost repulsed as he knocks you. From his back, I need you to roll a D6 for me, please.

You take three points of damage as you are hit by one of his hoods as he knocks you to the ground. Oh, oh, no. I probably should avoid rise, reindeer's. You have to be at peak amounts of merriment, and you're really not looking all that merry. So for the sake of pulling things back, when you color in your stocking, you'll be at peak amounts of merriment. You'll be able to amount the reindeer. You have more coloring to do. Oh, I have more coloring to do, excuse me.

So, I guess, well, that does put it's a radical. Wait, right now. Wait, right now. At least we're going to do or no? No, not right now. So when you gain merriment, you get to color in your stocking. Oh, so we fill it out. You get to ride the reindeer's.

But they will not accept you on your back unless you have peak amounts of merriment. Well, perhaps I need to tell a joke in order to make merriment. Oh, maybe. What does one snowwoman say to the other snowwoman? Close. It smells like carrots. What? Is that a joke?

That's a fucking hilarious joke. Yeah. I don't get it. I'm not. I'm not making fun of it. Yes, he is. It's hilarious. No, I'm not. I'm not making fun of it.

You got to be a 100. It is a D-100. And because you are doing something that is naughty, I need you to roll a D-20 and subtract the number from you. Oh, my fuck. It's already naughty as fuck. I got a nine. Oh, so let's see if it's negative. And the other one was red.

You're gonna get a fucking cold for Christmas. Brina, why are you igniting in flames? Ah! He's gonna get deleted from this one show. I just feel it in my cold bones. As you begin to make... You can put these on the table because I'm gonna be using them a lot. So, as you make this joke,

you feel a strange sense of power come over you as if the forest itself manipulate, emotions and energies here and it is not pleased by your actions. Ah! My toes are frostbitten. Literally. Snow and frost are barreding me toes

and they will not stop and it hurts to walk. Ah! Who'd say? What's going on, Rickett? My fucking doubt. What is? Do I sit? Come down, calm down.

Do a handstand. Plop him down. Oh, me feet. Oh, me feet. Oh, oh. I don't know, Becca. I don't know. I'll make it.

And I turn into a snake. Oh, you're all foot now. You're all foot now. Snake screamed before. That's a remarkable. I don't even, that might be like a pleasurable. Oh, my God. You don't know snake.

I'm going to pick up the snake and start thrashing it around. I need to roll in the naughty or nice table. Oh, no. And because you're being naughty, I need you to subtract a D20. I'm trying to help him. He's just turning out of the snake. I think I can put in his bag. Wait, no, 48, 42.

Please choose from the naughty bag. Oh, no. You're whipping a snake. Hipping a snake, trying to get him out of his form so he can lose gossipy. I'll leave down to Jacqueline, and I'll say, uh, Jackie, we should probably keep going. I don't want to believe he was. Yeah, no, you really should. And I'm sure if he brought joy to them, you could fill up your...

All right, well, make it to cook them something. And if they're access to their most precious thing. Well, lead the way. Let's go. I make a mean keesh, is all I'm saying, so. I need help. I guess I could let you pick. Are we not doing anything with these reindeer? Oh, they'll be here all day. No, we can't ride them until we feel very merry.

Oh, I'll be back. She always needs help. The toy maker's been super busy this year. There's a really rude door that I need to have words with. Do you think? I mean, we love doors, I feel like, does it have knockers? What? Does it have a, you know, those things?

No, it doesn't. It's just simply... Let's skip the door. I immediately drop or grow, get down all fours, and immediately start struggling snowing in my mouth. Oh. Oh, God. Renee.

It's so good. I'm so dehydways. Are you okay? I'm just... She's an addicted personality. Okay. Hold out. This is good.

I'm missing out. Why don't you take us to Jandria, and we'll see what we can do for her? Sure. Let's do. Shut! And you begin to make your way through the forest. Renee, occasionally stopping and shoveling snow into your mouth.

Every time you feel that you've completed that which you had been trying to swallow. Grigo, nothing you can seem to do is getting the pain. The Frost is biting you everywhere. Frost, get off my fucking feet! I'm not doing anything. Oh, you're related to these assholes, ain't you? We're relating to- You make me a snow cone.

I'll take a look at your foot. How about that? Okay. Alright, make me a snow cone. How do you make a snow cone? Just buy a bunch of snow. Okay, hold on. I mean, take a little bit of your clothes.

I'm gonna try to like make a cone out of snow. Yeah, sure you do that. Roll performance checks. See how much of a cone it looks like. Okay. Make sure you flavor it too. Flavor it. Don't ask that.

That's a bad idea. Yeah, no. It's very glad. Okay, no, that's fun. Uh, I'll go, and I get to have some good berries. Okay. Here we go. Do a little.

little bit of a thing. Roll on the knotty or nice table, add a D20 to your roll. I care for it. This is very good. I'm very excited to try your cone. Your snow cone. Your what?

Your corn. That was a little too close to a few things. 45 plus 1558. Roll from the nice bag. All right, pull from the nice bag. Oh, here to go, Renee. My performance check was not very good, though. My performance check was a 11.

It's a rough approximation of a snow cone. It doesn't look great, and it really doesn't taste great either. They were not ripe good berries. They're slightly sour. It's flavor. So just berries. I haven't seen, I haven't seen Renee's did this much reward stuff in a mouth. That one time I came home early to the house, and Moth was over.

Moth has never been over to my room. I don't know what you're talking about. What's your foot? Come on. I suddenly hold out my hand, and a rapier appears. That's not the snooker! You watch as, oh no, it's just the rapier, right? Read it.

The rapier of the Mouse King. Oh, boy. Rapier, very rare. When you hit a creature of the Fay tariff on his weapon, you double any damage dealt. Critical strikes always deal max damage. This blade ignored any mundane resistance a fake creature has. Have you ever seen 384 mice in one place?

Never mind. I am the Mouse King now. Is it Mike King or Mouse King? king. Mouse king with god's feet. Ha-ha. I'm my fucking feet.

Just walk on your hands. So they can we pause for a moment? I need to put Good one. I mean, we've been calling for a while. No, no, we've been walking

while they're talking. I've been carrying him. Oh, caroling him. Oh, Gatling. Utah, Utah. Day is here.

I want to take his shoes off. Welcome to the you know. Real medicine check. Carolyn Kremlin. Come on, leave it solved. 15. I'm looking at his feet, you can see where it's warm and it's, he's being bitten and it's not the frostbite you think of. Every single individual snowflake, no matter where it lands on him,

has sharp razor-like teeth and they're biting into him over and over and over and over again. And you wish that it were something that you could protect him from, but there are far too many snowflakes to do anything about this. Dr. Zor does you just keep your socks in? Do you have perhaps any socks that could descend against this terrible plague? Take out of your house. It is a route this time that you make your way out of the trees and in front of you you see a large gingerbread house.

Oh. But it's been completely ransomed. The candy has fallen all over the place, ripped from the sides. The peanut brittle windows have been crept and broken in. The door is hanging off of its chocolate hinges. The candy cane fence post is torn up, and you can see as you look at the ground, tracks. Twelve trollish tracks that Yule lads have been here, and they've caused some happen. Those damn lads.

Oh, let's go say ginger! Just as quickly, Jacqueline, Jackie, fraust, runs into the house and begins looking around, this place is blown, and I bolt after her. I'll follow. We need to clean the house, perhaps, in order to find her. You can clean the house? I mean I am capable of cleaning a house

Could we just like Say ginger If you're here Why don't you want to you call out Yeah that's a good idea Ginger Ginger ginger Ginger

Hi oh I know how to get ginger And as you look down You see as Jacqueline raises up What looks to be one Gingerbread arm Do you?

Boy are you sure that's her arm Or maybe she was like making cookies And that's just a piece of You think she would make a gingerbread cookies So she's like a gingerbread pro. All right. All right. I should have figured that out.

Well, I think I might be able to fix her right up. Let's find them. Stop looking. Where would the you latch have gone? I start looking. See, if you can find any of the last, I will start outside and I will start from navigate the house. To see if any of her parts have been thrown out there. Six.

You look around and it's hard to see. You do see crumbs here and there. You imagine if a room were cleaner, you'd probably be a lot easier to find. the pieces of ginger. I can't see anything from these mess and I'll just start picking things like that. You know how you do the fine ginger. What are you guys doing? It's... I mean, the ginger's not a ginger stamp.

No, it's important. It's hilarious. Have some fucking respect. I'm pressing digitation. Oh, oh. I need you to rolling out of your nice table for me and subtracting me to each one. I'm legitimately trying to help, please. You almost had to do a TV. I'm going to go around to the

Ginger Red House and see if I can find any parts of ginger. Investigation check. That is a 51. You barely make it. You can pick something out of the good bag. 14. So mechanically, if I'm like cleaning with pet precedingitation, it means that anyone looking inside can roll at advantage.

Well, then can I attempt to look now that I think something? That's no good. 14. 14. You're able to look around and you don't find all the pieces, but you're able to find another arm. two buttons and a little bit of candy cane that you imagine came from a beautiful candy cane dress oh it's going to take a little bit more help from your friends you can't do this alone um

i am going to see if i have any spells at help i'll just kind of keep cleaning up helping them investigate i know what to do it looks like me around the house looking around the house you're able to find a couple more pieces of her of her dress i'll bring them inside uh um someone to put out a hand so we can put all these pieces. Oh, of course. And I pull out like a Ziploced Tupperware and I'll crack open the top and I'll say this will, this will keep it real safe. Jackie, put her the arm in the Heiferware. Let's put her in the Tupperware. She doesn't need to breathe or anything, but this is airtight. Don't put it, don't put a top on it. Oh well.

But just put it on the heart. Put calls in it. Oh. Um, I think we need a few more hands. Uh, come on lads. Let's whistle while we work. And I'm going to cast conjure woodland beans and 12 festive satyrs will emerge. Oh.

No, no, four festive cedars, not 12. Of course not. Okay, lad, chef. First delft. 12. Chip, chop, chip, no drinking on the job. All right, so all of you rule investigation at advantage

because you have the help of saders and cremine. 20. Dirty. Mm, 19. You all begin to work. And though Jackie is still a snow woman, she's not able to assist you, but she is holding the Tupperware where the holes poked in it. And every time you come by with more pieces, she opens it and allows you to drop them in.

And after about an hour of cleaning up this place, what appears to be a workshop where cookies were baked and stockings are made for the children, you are able to find all of the pieces of ginger. As Jackie spills them out on the table, she begins to put them together and you're able to see that this would form a gingerbread girl. But I don't have anything to adhere the pieces. I've got it. And I go into my bag, my pack, and I pull out my alchemy jug. And I smack it and I say, happy holidays. And it'll turn into basically like sticky icing. Okay.

I will allow it. If I may. Yes. Yeah, that's a good one. So you do that and you say this. And as you pop it open, the room is filled with the scent of icing, of sugar. And you were able to all dip your fingers in as you add the sticky icing to all the seams and you piece ginger back together again.

And you wait and you watch. There you go, Ginger. Jesus. Come on. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus. Putting her back together, everything's fine. You're fucking gross.

No? Yes. Oh! And you wait and you watch. It takes a moment that the icing begins to harden. You see her gum drop, or you see her small little red candy eyes flit open as she jumps up. She looks around at you.

What are you doing here? No. We just put you up together. Oh, oh, Jackie. It's so good to see you, Jackie. Are you here to click? We're friends with Jackie. I mean, are you here to collect the stockings?

Stockings. What, you have stockings? I create stockings for, oh, no, I remember now. Oh, those rowdy, you lads, they came in and they stole all of my stockings with the children. They tore up my house. It's perfectly fine.

As good as it's going to get. And Barretz, I can give you a little bit more and I'll whip out my red sack, and I will reach in, and I will attempt to pull out a present for her by spending one of my charges. Roll a D4. A D4?

I'm sorry, so roll a D100. 57. Now roll a D4 for me, please. Four. Please color in four bits of, you get four merriment for this gift. Oh, I couldn't take anything from you. Not at all, but I would be honored

if you would light my yule tree and take from the gifts beneath it. I would be more than happy to it. I will walk up to the yel tree. Do I see a yel tree? Out in her yard, there was a large jewelry. And I will conjure up light. I'll use the light handtrip and like conjure it at the top of the tree.

It's bright as beautiful. Please add one merriment to your stocking. Ah, yeah. And then roll into the more forming place. Me? Yeah. Oh, would you launch some... Two.

You can add two more married. Well, you like some berries for your cookies. Sure. They're very good. I don't know why you're giving me so many things when I'm trying to give you stuff, but okay. Oh, we'll take your things too. We like your things. Yeah, well, you know, go light my tree.

Oh, we're lighting the tree? Yeah, wind up my tree and take one of my gifts. Oh. It's really not hard. Yeah, all right. Let's go. I was going to make you like some friends or something. You've already married.

Oh, well, okay. I'm the merriest I've ever been. I'll go light one of the things on the tree. Glorious. I'll light a few candles. Oh, the candles? I'll get up there and I'll be locked. Do I pull anything in a bag?

I need a... Well, you just hold on, you've got a lot to resolve. I'm just very excited. So everyone who added some illumination to the tree gets one merriment automatically, and then you roll a D4 to see if you get additional, how much additional merriment you get. Oh. So there's one D4. One D4.

So does this little tiny ear count as one? That counts as his head. counts is his head. Oh, his head? Okay. So his head's one. One leaf count is one? One leaf count. He's feeling very merry. And then each one of you needs to roll a D20. No, each one of you gets to pull from the happy sack. Oh shit. Fuck yeah. Happy sack? The happy. She's giving you one present from beneath her tree.

Okay. And this is separate from what I pull out of the sack. Oh, I can't remember. So yeah, probably separate. This is the present. And then I also attempted to reach in and grab this. Yes, two separate things. Okay. I found the midwinter exploding cracker. What does that do? Pulling cracker stems from a longstanding midwinter tradition with a deadly twist.

When pulled, it lets out a mighty explosion. Two creatures must pull on either end. Each creature must make a competing strength check. A character can feign pulling and forego their role, losing automatically. The winner increases in merriment but feels the full force of the explosion, and the loser takes half damage and gains a mark of naughtiness. When the cracker explode, it deals 3D, 6, 4th damage to both parties. If, yes, yes.

So the loser takes half. Oh, okay. Well, I got this, uh, looks like I can't pull both ends of this. Renee, would you care to have a strength contest? I'm so up in my present. Would you like some of this snow? Yes. not that you follow you out of the same

Well, this is so great You're already bringing Merriment back to the grove I open my present And I got Tabard of the Holy King Very rare A handsome red tabard

With gold brocade A tan bird Tabard The head of a bear Surrounded by Holy Springs And blizzard in silver Springs sprigs

and blizzard and silver upon it these tabouts are immediate signs of individuals to be welcome and accepted amongst the fake arts when making a charisma-based check against fake targets while wearing the tabout a player may add an extra D6 to our nose oh this suit looks like he may fit me

and I will like... It looks great on you Oh, I got one too and I were matching now By the way Ginger inside She had to keep cooking Because when the children are returned I told her they're going to need cookies To feel better about themselves

That's a good point I could go for some good Oh me too We all have tabby outs except Frost Hey yeah look we're very cool Frost you're not in the tabby club He's got the sax I don't even know what a terror is stylish

But you I did attempt to Reaching to the John's back Yes so you reach into it And you feel like you can't, that's not a gift that you can give to someone. Oh. That is a gift that you can pull for yourself. And you rolled 57.

I did. So you used to pull from the red bag. Perhaps I will experience the tavern. I do otherwise you can rock it with the sack. The red sack. I found a small red and white striped sleigh. It's a toy. And it's really pretty.

Well crafted. I use miniature form so that I can fit in the slay. If we look up at everyone. Hey. This is so cute. I run over and pick him up immediately. Hey. Yes.

Don't remember, but I can't even. Can you like drive it now? Like, throw him in the snow. Can you make it so smoke? Can we get him a little? No, no, I'm going to eat it. What? What?

The snow. I'm going to eat. Oh, you're not going to use. Oh, right. I think he's meant him. Well, I'll just stay in here for, yikes. Yikes. Yikes. Um...

Um... Well... Who else needs help? Jen Jackie Jacqueline We could go see the toy maker You've experienced one of his toys now Tiny Frost Man So we could see the toy maker

We still could go talk to that rude door And give him peace of my mind Or we could go see Carol Let's go to the tourmaker That sounds really fun I'm into it Do we have to go through the snow though Or little bit? Oh no

Oh don't care for that Isn't there's like snow everywhere You can't really escape it everywhere do I know DM that if I cast water walk that it would help us walk on the snow it would probably make it worse for you because you'd have to roll deck sleep it saves to not slip and fall on your ass no thank you I appreciate the other guys good good good good good so you want to go see the toy maker yes and let's bring her that big frost in his current phone maybe he might like us too oh he would like this is very charming

Ed, we've ever bring him yours. Frosty, you're so charming and merry. Frosty sparks to joy. You're so very charming and merry, Frosty. That's why they call me Frost. You begin to make your way with Jackie leading you. Bye, Ginger. Out through the forge.

Ginger's leaning out her door, waving at you. You can see a fire roaring in the hearth and the smell of cookies as she begins to bake for the return of the children. And there is a small bit of merriment that is formed around this place. And as you look up, you can see that the, the creeping brown color that is slowly inking its way down the trees seems to have moved back a bit as the green

seems to be rising up as the forest itself fills with Mary Mac. We did something good! Yeah, and it won't make us too bad to get to the toy. Let me know when 10 minutes is up, because I'm going to rapidly expand and crush Renee. Ten minutes stops. I rapidly expand and crush her name. I make snow ages.

Oh, you broke it for. Oh, I'm not of your nice list. Mon is a D20? Minus a D20. Um, minus 15. Oh, I don't know why I rolled it.

Well, the D20s. Yeah, I'm working on it. Where are my D20s? There's one. You need one? You need one? We're staring at the second. Yeah, there's the other.

No, this is a D20. What do you have? I hate that. Oh, D-10. I need them to be together. Yay. 50-100. Uh, give me 50, 35.

I don't know. Minus 14? Yeah, 35. Uh, take something from the non-yback. I'm sorry, Renee. I suddenly... It's okay, I'm quite content you. No, no.

For snow. Is that can't blot? Hurt you? No, I just blot. Only tour biote, then I have to go take a piece later. Oh, everything is hilarious. Hey, Frosty. Yes.

You want to get a joke? Yeah, I would love to. Yeah, I would love to. You know how this whole time, you know how you like found a cloak Isn't that hilarious and you could have put it on the whole time to talk to your master? For like months And we're talking like years now It feels like it feels like you did it and we literally got it in episode one

That's pretty funny, it's pretty... That's good, that's a good joke, it's just oh my Where does that even come from beyond? That sounds like some old man's name. I bet if I got hooked on common, I would have learned the etymology of that. And as you look through the trees, you see what appears to be a toy maker's shop. The ground around it is littered with toys. And once again, everything seems to be broken.

and the door hanging on its hinge. And as you look in, Jackie runs in really quickly. No, Jackie nut again. Jackie! No. He runs in and she looks around. A small whimpering in the corner.

And as you turn and look, you see a nutcracker on the shelf. Oh. Crying. Oh. I'm sorry, man. And a skeletal voodoo gator handle will start patting the nutcracker on the head.

Be, yeah. You do that, you do that. You do that. You may not your hug, yeah, maybe you can talk to it. I don't wonder why he's crying. The Nutcracker. I'll walk over to the nutcracker. Uh, salue, monsieur.

How are you so sad? Ugh! Are you the toy maker? Do you need a hug? I'm just crying. I'm not going to keep crying, but he just keeps crying at you. And as you talk to him, he's crying louder and louder and louder. louder and louder.

I cast calm motion longer. Okay. He has to make a charisma saving through a 17. He's a toy. I hope you feel battle. And everyone within 30 feet of me, I guess, has a 20-foot radius has to make a... I mean, every single one of you got. I don't mind fucking...

Oh. Oh. Hey. Hey, man. It's not so that bad. This is not so bad. You have a bad. That tracker continues to cry.

How about this? This makes you feel better? I'll play your jaunty little tune. And I'll take up my great fiddle. And I'll terribly play the first bar of silent night over and over and back. This a dig at me. Hey, crummy man, that's pretty good. Thanks, very much.

I got a 12. Does that mean I'm calmed or not? You're calm. If it's 17 or, if it's anything below 17, you're calm. Huh. Frosty. You know... Is this helping?

This funny. Yeah. Is she's frost? Your frost. No, it's froust. And all of these little fucking asshole Barty my feet are frost. Oh, I know what's wrong.

I'm gonna... Yeah, no cracker because he's toy. I'm gonna dig in my pack and find a big old walnut. And I'm going to reach behind him and open his mouth and go... You reach behind him and you open his mouth. He's got his hands in... in front of his face as he's crying. You reach behind him and you attempt to crack the nut and you hear,

and he continues to cover his mouth and cry. But now in throws of pain, I need you to roll in the nod of your nice leg. I'm sorry. I'll think, Grammy, I don't think this is more of like a metaphysical challenge. And you can add a D20 to this because you weren't trying to hurt him. Uh, that is a, no, it's a three. There's no one. Please pull from the naughty pad.

I'm sorry. Oh my God. Hey, it's not so bad. Jackie, what do we have to do to do to get into talk? I don't, I don't know. We can always ask the music box. Oh, where is that? I was just over there on the shelf.

Wouldn't you wind her up? Oh, yeah, put on some tunes. I mean, I tried, but... Put on some tunes, girl. I'll do it. What did you get? Does anyone feel like I'm getting a little stiff? What?

I'm getting a little stiff. Step back from the nutcracker right away. Yeah, please put the nuts down. Reddough. Stiff, don't you think? Put the nuts down. Are you getting a little stiffy? No, I think, I think this is common.

I'm turning into wood. I believe I'm turning into wood. Nothing anyone does or says will change my mind. Are you turning into wood? I think so. What? Maybe when I was yelling at that tree earlier, like a few weeks ago. Maybe this is fucking common for that.

It's like walnut wood. Oh, my God. Grummy. Grummy. I mean, it might not be so bad. Oh, my gosh, look at his figure name. Oh, it's oak. I need you to roll on the naughty table

and I need you to subtract a D-20. You're still chill, by the way. This is a one-minute concentration and then you're no longer chill, I guess. It's been a minute already. All right, no, it was fine. Yeah, good fuck her, man. Get fuck her, man.

You pull out of the naughty, yeah, this is a fucking nightmare. Oh, is that spulted tamarin? From, oh, you. Oh, my God. It's my chance. I'll walk over and I'll, like, I might be that bad.

I mean... I have to roll a D12. I get to roll a D12. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay. Give them me one second. I have to keep all this shit straight.

I remember from last time, I'm writing mine down. I'm gonna go under a table and just like scoop a bunch of snow off the table in my mouth. As Grico begins to tell you this, is his shape, shape begins to shift and change. His nose longer, slowly begins to shrink and become shorter. Stubby, warts begin to pop up around his body. His nails begin to thicken and crack as he turns into something you've seen before. One of the Yule Lads stands before you. Grico, you have taken the form of Skier Gobbler, a Yule Lad with a great affinity for Skear, which is yogurt.

Greco, are you looking? No! Right good! It's calling yogurt! I'm just going to start winding the boxes for a little like that. Skiyre! You got it! You need the Elar-R-M! Oh, fuck!

Who are you? Well, what have you done with Briko? Ah! My elders blasts him in the thing. No! No! What are you doing with Grico? What do you do with Grico? I will not rest until I have all of the yogurt.

Hold on, hold on done. On the go! You can have it. I'm on. I can't do this again until the next. done so I just have to make do with some icing and I hand on my alchemy jar. Iceing is not remotely close to yogurt. It's a close of best I got, why don't you give it a try? Chalitula! It is at this time that you inspect the music box for us.

Trilichelot, be gone, thought. You roll the naughty table. I can't ask you a skiergobl. You flip the, you flip the music box over and you see that on the very very table. You see that on the very bottom there is a little knob you can turn. You write it. You turn the knob and you watch as it pops open. And a beautiful sugar plum dancer begins to spin around and dance.

She looks out at all of you and she says, There, how's it going? Things have gone. Cracker, you see, they tried to take him when they came. They dropped him and broke his tooth. Oh, no. Oh, man, I mean it weren't. Does that mean he can no longer crack nuts?

It does. It means that he's an agonizing pain. Can you put right? Oh, Granny. Could think you'll make of wood now. Really great for the pain of the tooth. If only we had some skier, then I make up. You would know where I can find some skee.

That doesn't have. This will have many sort of sweet tooth, but I do have some icing. It's a vanilla flavor. Whatever is our favorites in the fair world. How do we fix him? Leave that the elf on the shelf has the tooth. If you just take it, or just take it,

or ask him for it. Oh, mess their pots! You could, if you have magics to do so, you can mend the nutcracker, and then he would be able to mend nuts again. Can I ask you the question? He would be able to roast chestnuts for all of the land

when the children are turned. All right, too, yeah, I can get it. I need to ask you an important question. Are you carved of wood? I'm not, no. Well, do you know any of the folks that I'll carve from wood here? Yes.

What's that like? Like, have you talked to him about what it's like to be made out of wood. Well, you could ask the wooden... Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, my name's Pinachio.

What kind of name is that? This is the name my dad gave me. It's all right nice. Panachio. Decoo. Panachios, Pomaccio. Give me some carpaccio with you over on it. I don't have any main ways.

Do you mean skier? I need some skier. Yes, man. Skier. We don't have any. gear here. Look, I'm turning into wood and I'm just trying to like mentally prepare myself. What's it like being made of wood?

It's horrible. Oh, no. Your joints They're wood. Wait, so everything Your lungs are wood. How do you even breathe? With wood lungs? You just don't? You don't. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

If it rains, your body swells. Oh. Well, that might have been kind of good, right? Like, you sort of, you know, get pumped, you know? No. Oh, no, it's not like that. It quits and warps. Oh, God.

And then someone has to take a hammer and chisel and whittle away at you to make you what you were before. So someone could, like, fix me at least, right? If they wanted to. Okay, well, who's the fellow that made you? I should probably meet this guy, just in case, you know, I'm slow. My father, the toy maker. The toy maker? Oh.

So we just need to find him. We just need to fix it. To the alf on the shelf. Well, it was been a pleasure, Panatrio. Thanks, well. Sorry, friend. Oh, well. Cremie.

I think you're turning into wood and looks like you're turning into roadwood. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatrous and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seeds, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to The Crooked Moon,

to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Do you have anything? I just gently close the top to just like bow her back into the shelf. You do that.

What do you think happens in there when I turn that key? You look around and you see that there is an elf sitting in the shell. Hey, elf. And as you look up, you see that he's tossing back and forth in his hands the piece of wooden tooth that's missing from the nutcrackers. Oh, you happen to have something that we need. What will you do? What can we do for you to part from that tooth there? Shut up, loser.

Wow, that hurts my feelings. A little bit. Hey, uh, hey, uh, well, don't, no, no, no, no, not, not that. How about the other thing? How about friendship and merriment and giving us the tooth? Perhaps we can make a trade. I have a variety of things in my peck. He's not responding.

What are you going to do for it, loser? Well, you're an elf on a shelf. Would you like to be some other place that rhymes with elf, perhaps? Never thought about it, loser. Well, maybe if this guy fucking sucks. Maybe it's time to think about it. Do you want us to put you on that show? No, you can't rhyme shelf with shelf today.

Don't you know anything about poetry? What else rides with elves? GELF. Pels. Pels. Nets. Lel. Melf's acid arrow.

Melfth acid arrow. Perhaps we use Melfth acid arrow and dissolve him away. Does anyone have any way to shoot arrows? You have a gun. He'll be gone. It's skin. I was testing you. You heard the man.

Give us the tooth or it's going to be the acid arrow Pro-y-do. Loser. This, well, can we destroy the elves, perhaps? Well, no, I do the agreement. Jackie, how do we handle the life on the shelf? What does you want?

You can try asking nicely, just say, hey, can we please have the tooth? Monsieur Elf on the Shelf, may we please have your, with the tooth in your, may we please have it? Yeah, sure. He tosses you the tooth.

A lamb aloof, thanks for the tooth. Merci. You welcome, loser. Why did you give me the tooth and not me? She said, please, loser. You are kind of a loser if you're not polite. Everyone's making fun of me. I don't like it.

I'm going to take the tooth over to the screaming, crying, a nutcracker. I'm being like, Monsieur Nacrake, I have good news. I have a dispel pots right here on my end. We can replace your tooth. Yeah, dummy. you're going to have to make him smile

to even get the tooth in there. Oh, Frost is all about jokes. Oh, why don't you tell him a joke? Perhaps Frosty may have a funny. I can't think of anything that's funny right now. But everything makes you laugh. Yes, I don't know. Is the boss so low that you've lost your funny bone?

Let's see. You know how geese fly in a V? And you know there's like one side's longer than the other side? You know why there are other, because there are more geese on that side. I pass up my pass out stupidest joke

I've ever heard oh no no no my feelings again you probably shouldn't oppose the music box she was much more helpful than I was oh

show him the sleigh and maybe we can turn you small again I think I crushed the sleigh I can go back outside and perhaps we can amend it but what do you mean you crushed it

when I expanded quickly we destroyed the sleigh Very difficult to calculate how one ten minutes are. She begins to spin around and dance. Oh, you found the... I beam, smile, and sparkle white. I brighten the day with a single light. I charm and chant one and all.

I can counter even the darkest pall. What am I? Oh. Oh, fuck, riddle. Say that again. Sorry, I can only say it once. Oh, we'll twist the thing again. Maybe that she'll say it again.

Oh. Oh. She begins to spin around again. Oh, you found the tooth. Great. I beam, shine, and sparkle white. I brighten the day with a single light. I charm and enchant one and all.

I can counter even the darkest pall. What am I? The sun? No. No. A star. No. Oh, a big old pole of skier.

The day with a single light. I charm and enchant one and all. I can counter even the darkest pall. What am I? The left and skeer, I'm all out of my teeth. The beam of light thing. It's icicle, perhaps. No.

Ice in general. I go to general. Maybe it's more specific. Anything like hotter or colder on any of these. Ice cube? No. Um. Oh.

Shine. A candle? No. Bright and the darkest Paul, like a Like a No, like a Paul What is Paul?

You never met Paul The very nice gentleman My name's Paul Beth between y'all Because I'm off getting For the year Fucky much I'm the one that beat the prompts

Nope Paul's like Well you know it's the Paul bearer It's like a It's like a shroud, right? It's some kind of cloth related to that something. Well, no, not quite.

As far as I know. Well, let's see. Jackie, can you make any sense of this? A tooth? A tooth? A tooth? An eyeball, maybe a tooth? No. A star on top of a tree, perhaps? No. How about these? And I conjured light in my hand again. While I'm shumbling snow in my mouth.

That's not a word. Can you read it back to me? beam shine light charm white sparkle lighten brighten that's all I go oh this is that it's very difficult to make fucking notes during the fucking the theme is a tooth I know

well what's in a toothy grin a smile? Shit no are you serious oh you got it? My crickgo just solves everyone who gives me a toothy grin oh look that's good the nutcracker is smiling a big bowl scared. Can I offer him his tooth?

I believe this he's what you see him. You go on how are I do. Can I, may I attempt to? Don't get bit. Ah ha ha ha ha. Don't worry, nine out of ten dentists agree that this is the only way for us to get all of each year. Let's hope that on the dentist isn't right. Brigo, you are...

The tooth is seeing if it'll fit and if it needs... It looks like you're going to need to bend. need to bend or repair it in some way. How can any of you attempt to recapities? I'll take that country. If you're turning into wood

of your wood with the nutcracker. Gross. That's not a bad idea. Are you going to stick as wood in its and your wood in its mouth? Don't do that. I don't think that's what's your body. I mean, I guess I could.

I'll take a knife. And, uh, let them do it as work. No, I don't care. I don't care of a body morrow. What do you do? I just put in a piece of myself because I am wood, right?

The wood isn't going to help fuse additional wood. It's still going to be wood on wood. We need set. Can you produce? Oh, don't we have some sovereign glue? I may have some softened glue. Oh, you saw. And I will peel off a fingernail.

And I'll say, because I have glue. We need some glue. You peel off a fingernail. It is incredibly painful. It's bleeding profusely. To everyone else, there is no wood here. To you, it looks like you've ripped a wooden fingernail.

And look, get some sap. Here some sap. I'm smearing the blood on his mouth. Sat, this stuff. Why to make it work? You said sip? This is not good. It's not just good.

This is sap. No, look. This is a piece of wood and I'm bleeding sap now, clearly. Is it helping, buddy? Oh. I don't. You do have sovereign glue.

I mean, I can't remember if I used it. So I'll just assume that I have a sort of charge of it. Yes, I still have some. In addition to this Murphy's wood oil soap here. Uh-huh. Put a drop on this. Oh, not too much.

Put a little drop on it, and then we'll put it in his mouth. People who are in that. From that point out, and the Nightcracker attitude, he was shutting out of his eye at a really ridiculous angle. Sovereign, you only get one shot at this. Be very careful.

I cast silence. Fuck y'all. I cast silence because Grico, I can't fucking trust him. Close the whole fucking second. And then for the next minute, I will, or in consideration of 10 minutes, I will carefully slot the thing. Roll a sleight of hand and advantage for me, please. Thank you.

Slide a hand, plus two. Oh, I killed a... Dirty 20. Perfect. You are with the silence now formed around you. You're able to slowly lower. You wipe away Kremi's blood that's now dripping down the face of this... That's right.

And you firmly place the wooden tooth into its slot. and you see as the nutcracker begins to move its jaw around and you can't hear anything you drop the silence thank you thank you for fixing my face but of course oh i can crack and nuts again for the festival you brought me so much merriment please light my yule tree outside and take of my gifts beneath it well I saw it for earlier but I mean wouldn't help if I gave you some purpose

from like one woodfell in another you're not you're not never because he waits to give it too no sovereign glue

so it stays forever um as he's in the middle of speaking as you crunched down and he pops the shell falls to the side and a nut shoots out of his mouth

and rolls into your hand you know what goes great with walnut What, Ricko? Skier! I can't wait to gobble some nuts with skier. Lungard, I love you. Such a great suggestion.

Maybe you're made a wood's not all bad, is it? I like it just fine. I can pick up a side gig, like, maybe crack at a lot of nuts. You're not made of wood, though, friend. Well, no, but I'm turning into wood. Not that I can see. My fucking feet. Let's go.

Goodbye. Just three. That's what I mean. We're going outside. Okay. We're for everything. And you watch as Jackie hops in her snowman form outside and head towards the tree. I'll follow her towards the tree. And if no one else does any objections, I will light it again with my light canter.

You do that. You may take one. Go, go, get married. Let us be married. I will use press and agitation light one. I will use Wall of Fire. Just do it. to light something on the tree.

I use energy being fire, it's fine. Yes. I conjure a fire elemental. No, I don't do that yet. So, you'll take one marriage. Do we roll a D4? So, are you, then you each take, yeah, so you roll a D4,

and then you add that many merriment. Plus one, right? For the ruling of your guess. And then so, 525. 5.25. Hmm. I've only gotten low rolls here. Does each berry count as one?

Huh? Yes, each berry count of them. All color and all. We're all doing this. Yep, so you get one automatically, and then you roll a D4 to see how much merriment you get from being able to open a present. And then I need you to each take a gift out of the gift bag. Oh. Oh.

Oh, goodness. I hope it's skeer. Skeer needs to stop, Rico. But they don't call me skier gobbler for nothing. I did find an ever-filling tankard of the Holy King, so. How about that? Simple tankard card from Redwood, which small brown,

with small bronze bears and reindeer riveted to the side of it. This tankard never runs dry, never spills, and it's filled with beautiful golden mead. Oh, I thought you were going to say ski. You may take an action to drink from the tankard and remove one affliction from your person, or you may use an action to drain the tankard, and it regenerates quite a bit of health points.

If the tankard is graved, it requires a long rest to refill, which I'm certain we'll get. And the removing of affliction is for things like the Skier Goblin, but there is a limit of six. I didn't put that down on there, but it's folks don't have six charges. Oh, six drinks. So you could remove six afflictions that are afflicting currently. Are each of these separate? Each of the leaves are separate. Each leaf is a separate leaf.

It is scared. Here. The berries. The berries are not together. They're separate as well. Oh, okay. Shabloo. Shabler, is you crazy

if you think I'll get rid of Sear Gawksh's curse. No, it's yogurt. It's not, it's fine. What the fuck is yogurt? I want some skinny hair. Can you even even if you can't suggestion? Do you think you are when I see it? Just I'm saving throw.

Edwin Charles Hutz. You do. Not real, no. I put it on my head. Oh, I got them. I'm still enjoying it. I got a clockwork no out of an out soldier. Thanks.

The first. Oh, I got a small wooden coom. I mean, co. Oh, the coom of horrors. I'm going to take my hat off and scoop in it a bunch of snow. I'm like shuffling it by mouth again and then put it back on my head. Okay, Remy. This is made this small and wooden just like you.

Why don't you enjoy this? You can brush your hand. you don't have. I'll trade that. Obviously, I'll trade you. Do you like this? What am I going to do with that? You're going to be wood together.

Roll in the nod of your nice table for me, please. Oh, fuck. And subtract a detour. Oh, fuck. I'll roll the guy that rolls low. Now it, oh, it's 55, but I minus six, so I'm at 49. Please, bring me in the naughty back. Yeah.

And this is where Griko breaks, everybody. I was so close. I hope it's another one of them so I can have a persona for all 12. But gosh, do I am I crazy turkey here? We have to get away from this eul tree right now. What happens? No.

It's out to get me. You don't understand. That's where all the skiers gone. The trees have gotten them. We have to hurry. Why do you? Why are you listening to what I'm saying, woman? Yes, let's all go.

Quick, take my hands and we'll teleport. Jackie, join us. She grabs your hand I'll grab your hand Brickle there's trees There's trees There's a particular tree that upsets you

And you were madden of the tree before What is it with you guys Look I'm just saying I'm one with the truth We're all made a wood here They're keeping secrets Are you The trees have secrets

The secrets is They're holding all of the skia That's why I haven't gobbled them Because the trees Are keeping the location Of the skin Secret it.

No! They're out to get me. Hurry! We must be quiet. He's made of wood. I don't know what you're expected. He's going to make the... He's not a tree, though.

He's just a wooden crocodile. I'm an alligator first. And second, I'm basically related. Kaboodle's kibifference. What the fuck's the difference? What is the same thing? On your nice table for me. You're using suggestion on him?

Subtracted D20. Thirty-one. 31 pass, you know? Barely, barely, barely. I don't know, very not. Okay. 27 minus 17. I got a 10. Damn, you're not having a good time. What Edwood got for himself next? Oh, that's good. We do have a twist. We did? It's not twist.

From Panasca. Oh, we did that, Frost up that one earlier. Oh, my God. Oh, that's right. That's right. Sorry. No, no. What did you get? Oh, no. I will say. I did write the ones in the naughty bag. I love it. These are all mine.

That's perfect. So you will see, Kremi, in front of you, immediately burst all of this clothes. And she instantly gains 300 pounds. Straight to your side. No, ho, ho, ho. This is just the next step of my transformation, ho, ho, ho. Gremmy, the fact that you didn't say no, ho ho.

It's very disappointed. I missed a missed opportunity. I can't say no, ho, ho, ho. I have the same ho-ho at the end of every sentence. Oh, ho, ho. Wow, how could you take a drink? You never the fuck draw in the end? I can't complain this with you being 300, 500 or whatever you are.

You have two afflictions on you? I do. Roll a D4. Oh, God. One and three are wood and two and four are ho-ho-ho. One. You are no longer turning in a wood. Are you turning in a wood?

Oh, oh, ho-ho-ho. Well, let's just continue on. on wood. I can't do this. Ho-ho-ho. Blah, you have another trip. I tried to set that. I had a few. I tried to lift him on to his feet. I gave him a drink. I have another one. He needs two.

You want to? That's kind of... I feel like this is early game for us to be drinking from the tanker. I guess I can go on. Ho-ho-ho. No, get him another drink. We never find the skier this way. Will you drink from the fucking tanker? No, I think I'm fine. All right.

I'll, the only way, the only thing I'll drink will be a nice big goblin of ski here. I'm not gonna make it out. Okay, come on, and I try to like lift him up on his feet to see if he can even walk. He's essentially just Santa. I'm just Santa Claus now. Oh, ho, ho, ho. Is it reduced speed? No, you're just Santa.

Well, you look great. It's like that, so you may have a-oh-oh-10 instead of six on there. You look like the alligator from all. old dogs go to heaven. I don't even know what that is. Ho, ho, ho. So I'm still holding onto your hand, Frost. Are we going to be doing something?

Or do you just like me? I do like you very much. No, let's not teleport. Let's not tempt the DM. Oh, I can take you directly to that door. I need to have a conversation. To the door then. To the door?

To the door. Sure. Everyone hold hands or sticks. What? We're holding hands. Oh, yeah. I'm a. Snow woman

This isn't part of the prop We're all this holding hands No, just do your thing Galang Cano and away we go Oh, okay, yes I will focus in Sam And you feel that as you

As you utilize your mind power To Phantom Caravan, the group You focus on moving And you feel that your magic is being shaped As Jackie leads you In a certain direction and you find yourselves spilling out in front of a large tree

and in it, carved into it, is a wooden door. This Jackie moves towards it, she says, Hey, you stupid door, fuck you! And the door, a mouth on it, immediately opens back up and says, Ah, fuck you, Jackie, get out of here. Jackie, that's not... A-knit-a-shit. That's not in, like, good spirit of the...

No, look. It's a rude door. From our point of view, you were rude first. Well, he was rude to me the last time I was here. Well, let's just, uh... Don't make a right, Jackie. The door. For three rights make a laugh.

Shut up, Corco. What is that? That was pretty naughty, Renee. Okay, oh, huh? Great, though. What is this? The 80? Uh, what?

That's 70. 70, yeah, 78. Isn't this a 10, though? That's a 10, or wait. What? That's a Z. So this is not a 10 when you're rolling 100. Okay, so this is a 70?

Yes. Okay. Minus 16 is, what, 54? Before. Okay. You do not have to pull from the big bag. Janky, if you'll just... Oh, I mean, it's not Janky, it's Jackie.

I said Jackie. I thought Janky. Did everyone hear you hear Janky for sure? Well, Jankey. That's not very nice. Please roll from the Nottier Nice table. Wow. We're getting cold off stock.

Making a Frostian bargain here. subtract to D20 Oh, 66 It's close Natural twin! The Yuleads Join me Did you put that one back in there

Because it needs to go back in there Oh, it does? Yeah, there's only one of the Yolad ones in there Oh, I'm faring I meant to tell you I forgot Well, I don't want that one Can I put a four on the next? No, no, you have to

You better take this one So just shake up the set Are they all skewery? No You roll a D12 then that's what... That determines your... I'm just ski a gobbo.

Gobble, gau. I prefer snowboarding to skier. Please be skier. Um... Okay. Miss your door! I saw what it was. I don't...

Why are you in such a not-grite mood? Because I'm a rude door. But what can me do that make you feel better? What can we do to make you feel better? It's a nudge's question. The only question. I think of it. Yeah, you're not really funny.

Look, Pat, we're just trying to fucking help out. Look at him. We just trying to fucking... What the fuck says? Ho-ho-ho. A new door. Maybe someone who's full of holiday merriment, ho-ho. Yeah.

With a face like that. All right, open the fuck up, you fucking door, ho-ho. No. What if we, uh, will... No, no, no. We'll plug on your knob. And by we I mean Renee. Gross.

What? Renee, go give it a little twift. Leave it open. Why do you have to be? Why are you sacrificing me to twist nubs? You're not sacrificing a little. Well, I'd fuck it. Find fuck it.

I'll twist the hell. Huh? Didn't do shit, did it? Is it locked? Huh? Is it locked? Feels like it. It's locked, I think.

Oh, perhaps this. It's not, they think. Shibloo. perhaps is a key. There's no point making fun of him. He's already stupid enough on his own. I'd see if there's a keyhole. His mouth is opening up as he talks.

Oh. Where's your key, fella? Fuck. He's the kind of people you're hanging out with now, Jackie. Shutty, dump door. He's a rude door. Jackie, do you know why his is? Do I know what?

Why his key is? No, he doesn't have one. Perhaps we can make a key. And we could put it in there. I don't know if we can make a key, and put it in there. He just likes to repeat whatever we're saying. Why is that amusing?

Oh, I do have a question for the door that's very pertinent. Do you have any skier? Yeah. Why don't you come here? Oh, I would love to come. They call me ski a gobbler. Yeah, what? I'm ready to gobble your face right next to me, about five inches or so.

Oh, five inches? I'll do you better. I'll put you one inch away because I'm very, He compelled. Great. I've got some skier for you. Okay. Bring it here. Did you do that?

He opens up and slams directly into your face and slams shut. And you take a, can you please roll a D10 for me? Oh, fuck. You take that amount of damage. I saw that coming. That's hilarious. Really hoping for skeer. Is there anything behind him?

There's just a forming door. He's on a tree. So think, a nightmare before Christmas. I'm picturing, though. That's what I was picturing. Very much the same. Okay, well, we'll be right back, Mr. Doorm. Now that we know you don't have any scare.

We've got to find the key. Oh, hello. There's no key. He's just a rude door. How do we make him unroot? Is it like a pun or some kind of a puzzle? A rude door, like a... What do you normally do to something that's rude?

I just yell back at it. Kill it with kindness. I don't know if kind of. I have just the thing Elvichin to my axe that I've named kindness. This is the only way, Mr. Doorman. I don't think we should do that.

Wait, Jackie, you said, if I'm looking at her horn, so she still have the wreaths on either end? No, she's snowman now. Jackie, could you like temporarily turn back into a satire so I could borrow one of your wreaths? You see the phone. No, and I'm, yeah, I'm fond.

There's a difference between them. Don't say it. I mean, we've been in the fair while for how long, Renee, ho-ho-ho. They don't know the difference between people? Yeah, it's like, I feel like we've been here forever. What happened about learning about other cultures while we're here, Renee, ho-ho-ho. You can tell me I do the bus all you want, but I'm trying to find a way to decorate this door. I think he could use a little bit of spirit.

What the fuck is a bus? But I want to put you out at the end of these sessions. Oh, wow. Come back to makeup there! Educate yourself! I'm an illusion of re-com the door. Oh. That's supposed to make me happy or something.

It looks very good, actually. It looks pretty sharp there, fella. Yeah. It's not real. Oh, very. Well, you don't think I'm attractive enough on my own? God, aren't you an asshole? Well, I mean, that wasn't the intention, ho-ho-ho.

We're just trying to improve your... your fucking sensibilities, ho-ho-ho. We can make him a real one. Why don't you start proving your own fucking sensibilities? Ho-ho-ho. We're just, we're surrounded by like pines, right? We can make one with one of the younger branches at the top of the tree. I'll just...

But no! Ah, be careful, Frosty. They have secrets. They're keeping secrets from us. The secrets of the... What are you doing? I can't what you do. Frosty, are you okay? I can fly.

Just a moment. I can get up there. Do you get a dollop of skier? I don't know why this isn't. I'll be right back. I can fly. One moment. Are you surely?

I've never seen you fly. I know. I have seen you fly before, actually. I know. I can. I believe that I can fly and I can do that without issue at any time I want.

Be careful, Frosty. If you get too tall, that's how to keep the secrets is too tall for mankind to reach. Maybe I need to get a running start. I'll use feline agility to get up onto one of the taller branches.

and then I will jump off to attempt to get up to the top where I'd be able to make a reed. And you immediately plummet as you cannot fly. Oh, fuck. Probably, you okay. And you will take 1D4 bludgeoning damage if you smack into the ground. Oh, fuck.

Oh. Oh. Did you want to read what you got so they understand? Yeah, I believe I can fly and I really want to, but I can't. And if I could fly before, I can know it. That is literally the perfect one for you to have done. That's so great.

Well, we're going to have to think of something else. I don't know why this isn't working. Perhaps the ground is moving up at the same speed. I'm flying. Why are we going to be the top of the tree? I don't just go find something lower that you can grab. Well, I really wanted to go up to the top of the tree, though. All right.

Well, I'm going to try something else so you guys figure something up, and I'm going to start rolling, like, a snowman, like the base of a snowman. but as I'm rolling it, I'm taking big chunks. It's very good. You should try some. Ow, my fucking feet.

And I'm going to like chomp away a little bit at it, but then I'm building on top of it. And I want to position it like next to the, next to the door. But not within swinging distance of it, just like right outside. And I want to put like old smiley face on a carrot, however the fuck you do my head. I kind of fucking loser eats a snowman. Do you not have any friends? I have, well, no, I don't know if these people are to consider.

me though. I mean, I've been looking at the way they're looking at you. They definitely don't like you. It's good battles. But I mean, to be fair, I don't think you are. You don't have to like me. But I think that you would appreciate the snowman that I believe for you. Ah, well, you thought wrong, didn't you?

Who were you to tell me what I would appreciate? I'm just going to stare at it and chew more of the snow. Yeah, all right. Get weird. Get weird. Well, how are we? So look, what the, what the fuck is the plan, ho-ho-ho. I don't have one. We got to make this guy friendly?

How the fuck are we going to do that? Jackie, can you please would. drowning in a giant ocean of skier. I don't know. I told you everything that I know. He's just always been rude. However you counter rudeness, I don't know. All right, pal.

Call me pal. Get fucking ready. I'm not your buddy. You bet to call me, pal. He needs to make a wisdom saving through. Isn't on it for a creature? Because he's a door. Who's an object?

Yeah. Ho, ho, ho. Go, go, go. Fuck yourself, you fucking door. Oh, whoa, oh. I'm how do you unruidify a door? Maybe. Oh.

I'm out of ideas. Why are you so rude, door? Tell us your backstory. Is it tragic? I don't like you. Yes. You're loud. You're in front of me.

And you're talking. Well, would you prefer, would you be joyful and merry if we left? I'd love it. Oh, let's leave. Goodbye. Go on, goer. Perhaps there's ski in the other direction. We were just going to leave?

I think that actually might work. Ho, ho, ho. I was going to ask if we could use one of your wreaths, then we could hang it by. Oh, he wouldn't like that. Well, what would he like? His key. He wants us to fucking leave. But he doesn't have a key.

No, he does have a key. Fox, give me a drink of that fucking thing, Ho-ho. Jake, he just says he doesn't have a key. No, the only thing that can make him open is him. Oh, fuck. The only way to access this trick. to illuminate it and get his gifts is through him. Oh, you know what?

Hey, you stupid door. You know what I would really fucking hate? I hate it when doors open. There's nothing I hate more than doors open besides not having any skier in my possession. Are you serious? Yes, I hate it. I hate it when doors open. It makes me so mad.

This is the face of a door that doesn't give a shit. Oh. Then, uh, scabush, scaboses, there's nothing worse than a door that closes. I forget, I don't forget what kind of do there are me. That fucking axe. The birth psychology. Here's rusty. You're going to try and whack away at the door?

No, I'm not. I don't have an axe. I don't know if he does. I don't actually have an axe, but if I did, I wouldn't even kind of. I don't know. What can you tell us about the door, Jackie? What is he? He's behind it.

Or the rest of it. What is his name? Well, I just know him as the root door. Oh, I don't think... To be fair, I've never asked. I don't think interrogation is going to be our motive operandi. Why don't we walk around to the backside of the tree? Oh, that's a great idea.

Because he said that we were in front of him, so we'll get behind him instead. See what the fuck happened. Perhaps there's some skier behind it. Let's go. We make our way to the other side of the tree. You do that. You see the other side of a tree. Nothing more than that. I hate trees.

It has a secret. It's keeping the skier for me. It's preventing my gobbling. What the fuck is skeer? It is delicious. Skier is what I must gobble, Frosty. It is my nature. Brick off.

This is just worse than the penis arms. That was fucking scary. What if I told you I gave you skier right now. Do you shut the fuck up about the skier? No, I will never. Skier is my essence. It is my being. All is skier. Can you make some scare with your jug? Not until the next done, but I have another idea, depending on how long we want to be here. When the world turns to skier, you all will see. Grico, let's assume, and I'm chewing on snowballs and popping them into my mouth.

Assuming that I can provide skier for you, will you shut? Up about it? Will you be satisfied? Well, we don't know yet, will we? Give me some goddamn skeer, and we'll figure it out for today. My fucking feed! Ah! The tree!

It's ten minutes. Oh, good. Creating a hero's piece of skier. My only six-level spells on. Yes. Do you have the spell components for that? Sure. Fuck.

Roll a cool, sure. I have a thousand gold pieces worth of Skiya Fiat. go and see and I'm going to lay fucking Giro's Feast in front of the skeer os Feast! Oh is it? Skir os beast!

Why did I fucking think of that? So I will spend 10 minutes making Fkir for the party. That was a lot easier than I was going to do. I had to like take some culture and put it into like some cream and then it would take a couple days and then you'd have something that kind of

are you thinking of yogurt? Smogloof, smogit board. This is a smorgathe. No, that didn't even... You haven't been putting an attention. I don't think that's what Scare is, ho-ho. The Skiar's just... Do I see Skear in front of me?

You do. You see an entire feast of Skiar. Now I've... I know why I was put on this earth and it is to gobble some skier. And I like Scooby-Doo up into the air. And I gobble, I spend as... It takes an hour.

It takes to gobble as much skier. Well, let us join you. You take an hour to gobble skier. I'm going to do it. So I've enjoyed the skier's feast on me. This isn't that good. What's the fuck? Shut your mouth.

Ho, ho, ho. Everyone, two point maximum increases by 10. Goes up by 13. Or max HP or type of? I'm not going to adjust it. Hit point maximum and same number of hip points. So 1313 for both. And, yeah, advantage on wisdom saving throws

for the next 24 hours. Mune a poison being frightened. I'm sure that I'll come up there. Cured of all diseases. It's not a disease. I love skee here. And I love gobbling it. Are you happy?

Gobble, gobble, gauble. Are you satisfied? I will say, roll on the nodding or nice table and add a D20. Because that is nice to create a hero's name. Thank you so much. And provide.

39. 39. Okay. You just don't get to take on the other one. Got it. But I'm not going to make you do anything. Oh, it's everything I've ever wanted. And all I've ever wanted is ski here.

This is all I could tink up. I've never quite a bit of people. So, are we going to try and figure out how to get through that door? We're really all out of ideas. We're trying. Well, let's say we're spending time with a friend. Mm-hmm. And a friend was being a rude door.

What would you do? Oh. Or tell them that's not being rude. I have an idea. What's your idea? Is it your voice here? No, I drank the thing. You drank two?

Yeah. Oh, no, you did the whole... He drank two. You drank two? I did it quickly. Sorry, I didn't realize, yeah. I, um... Let me try something.

I'll go around. Hey, door. Dump cat. Fuck you. Fuck you. No, no, no, no, no, no, fuck you though. Are you trying to bang a door? No, no, I'm telling you to go fuck yourself.

Okay, fuck yourself. No, no, no, no, no, but if you were to fuck yourself, fuck yourself. Did you pay to hang out with them? Yes. Okay. You're free. Well, that didn't work.

Do I get a thing? Or is it just the rolling? Oh, yeah, roll a D4. I thought perhaps we could outroof it. Do we draw from the thing like that? Do we roll? Oh, when we draw, should we be coloring in stuff? No, she did something nice.

So it was determined whether she got something out of the bag, but so she got to roll to see how many nice, how many cheer points, because she brought you cheer. She doesn't get anything out of the back. I have some oil. Perhaps we could oil it's hinges. How about this? I'm going to take a bowl of skier.

I'm gonna walk him. All right, fella. I'm gonna take a big spoon full and just shoving in his mouth. The keyhole. Of the keyhole. Yeah, you do that. He spits it out all over you. What the fuck is wrong with you?

You just force shit down people's throats all the time? Well, I figured you might be hungry with that fucking attitude you got there. Did I tell you I was fucking hungry? Well, then what the hell's going on with you? I'm a rude fucking door, dude. I mean, is anything else going on? What's going on? You probably ask a lot of people how we are.

You walk up to me. But no one asks you how you are. me and we start talking you immediately don't me to fuck off, go fuck yourself, what the hell you want? Could you just open please? Oh yeah, sure if you say please. Please, may you open? Door swings open.

Oh, please. I mean, when you put it that way, sure, why not? Oh, thank God. I run around. That was nice of you. Thanks for asking. Nobody ever asked. I run around the tree. I've done it. We all we have to do sing carols in front of the door. Oh, it's open. Now it's open. Oh, thank you.

So, I, and my note says, the rude door. Simply ask politely for the door to open. That's literally all the notes I have for that one. I'm so full of skeer, and it feels good. You know, no one's ever asked me to open like that

before. That was really nice of you, friend. Well, may we take your presence and light your tree? Yeah, actually, I was going to ask, if you want to go ahead and illuminate my tree for me, I would put me in a really good mode. Would you like some skew? You know, I would love some skew. Do you mind feeding it to me? I don't have any hands. I will smooth. I just your jacket, I'm sure, I was just being an actual, I'm sure.

No, it's good, I. I was fucking apologizing to Jackie. You also benefit from 13 hit points mechanically. Okay, great, well, fucking cool. Sorry, sorry. Fucking cool. Fucking cool. So, with that, I need you to add one merriment.

Alright. And then roll a D4 to see how many additional merriment you get. I got five. I got five. I'm fucking roll another four again. Fuck yeah. Doria, you're not you when you're hungry. Grab a fear.

Oh, you're four. I see, nice. Four. It's four plus one. Yes, so five. Is each antler one or is it our booth antlers one? I have to look at it. Each antlers one.

Oh, fuck. Anything between the black lines. I love letting you give you a coloring challenge. You're just in here literally coloring a picture. This is like so therapeutic for me. It makes me so happy. What does it like? being a door.

You know, I mean, it's kind of shitty, to be honest. People walk up, they don't even say anything to you. They just grab your hunker, trying to wrench you open. And when you, like, get frustrated, they're just an asshole back to you. You don't like having your hunker grab? No, I really don't. They shove shit in your mouth. Oh, yikes.

They, you know, take their fist and slam it against your face over and over again. It's much of bullshit. I think what you need at the door is a nice set of heavy knockers. Yes. Yeah, you know, metal against my face. isn't going to help much either. People would be a lot more polite though. I don't think that's the case. Are you sure about that? Do you know any good knock-knock jokes? Nah. That's shocking to me. Do you not want to be Adora anymore? Nah, I kind of like being adorn. I just was people weren't so, you know, handsy with me.

So it's like you're rude because the world was rude to you. It was a tragic backstory. I knew it. I was trying to ask how you were, ma'am. You could open up. good point he was kind of nice obviously I was in a bad mood can you even me some of that orange please what orange which one do you want us to decorate you before we go uh well I'm gonna have you guys

finish your coloring apparently it's gonna take a while look at my little gray cleric sock oh that's pretty grave that's so brave and maybe by graven

So You also need to roll on the Notier nice table But you added D20 Because you did a nice thing for the door Right I got a million Oh no I didn't

I got Wow 777 I failed Okay So just nothing But do I It's a no merit Nothing nothing happens

Nothing in no merit It just determines whether you get something You may take something from the happy sack You may take something from the happy sack Is that a natural 20 Very cool. Very cool. Very cool. Got to give it.

I failed. Nothing happens for you. Well, the great cloak of warmth. It's a very rare cloak. The gray cloak of warmth is woven from the fur of the Harley King's most bris rains deer and sewn together with the silk from elven worms. In worn, the wearer of this cloak gains immunity to cold damage, and their speed cannot be reduced from spell effects dealing cold damage.

When hit by an attack, the creature can use their reaction to regain hit points. equal to one D4 plus proficiency bonus. That's so funny I got to see one. Wow, we're getting all the same shit. I love it. Let's put it on together like superheroes. Ready? Three, two, one.

You know, I actually, it's made from the great, the worms, and I've actually seen the wood where these worms are, and they actually harvest that rosewood and make great dice towers. That's really great, but I think it's really great. Code of antress. Oh, yes. I think time is running out, and we still have to go see Carol. Carol?

Either way. Go on. Go away. Okay. Are you all ready? Do you hold on? Can you do that thing again? I'm going to be coloring for a while.

Sure, yeah. Yes, hold my hand, Frosty. I'm all full of skier and merriment. Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Caravan. You feel as you do this once again, she shifts and shapes it and you find yourselves in

a beautiful garden there are frosty flowers all about the perimeter and in the middle there is what looks to be a large gazebo and in the very center of it appears to be a woman but a woman made of bells

everyone stand back oh well that's Carol Carol she's normally No, Carol of the Bells. She normally is performing with her Hocopalian group. Oh, no.

But they appear to be missing. Perhaps the lads are up to more mischief. She runs the shop strings and things. If you want to buy instruments or sheet music, you should go see how she's doing. Wait a minute. Is she in that gazebo? I don't trust it.

Yes, she's standing in the gazebo. You can see her right there. Carol. Oh, what a do, Carol. Cremont LaCrew, how are you doing? How can we help? How can we bring you your merriment today? I'm so glad you came. Hello. I apologize for my friend. It's been a long day. Please continue.

We were practicing myself and the silver bells, and all of our sheet music flew away on the wind. The bells, they went to retrieve it. and I haven't heard back from them since and I'm afraid they might have been lost and I just know if we can make sweet, beautiful music here in the gazebo they would be able to follow at home but without my sheet music I'm, I can't play at all.

I'm not thinking you were going to say music. I thought you've never asked I've played my group film. Let's make music together. Oh, I get it. You hear it. She begins to move her bell and is jingling back and forth. The sound of it piercing throughout the night sky.

Please roll on the naughty or nice table for me and subtract to D20. Oh, so that was a naughty thing. Yeah, it was horrible. Yeah, I'm just trying to be the fucking grins. Uh, higher than a 50. Is that subtracting the 20? 74 minus 16. Yes.

Okay. So your sheet music is sheets to the wind? I don't know what to do. Well, we have finding capabilities. Perhaps we can find these bells. If you could just tell me, tell us what they look like. Or the bells and they're silver. Oh, maybe they literally are bells.

They're not, this isn't something. Yeah. Wait a minute. They're not like an elandron. If we help you, does that mean that we're going to have to listen to? I'd like to. We'd be happy to perform for you. I guess our journey ends here.

slated to perform during the 12 days of Yuletide revelry. We can't do she seems like a professional. We can't do that if we can't practice. All right, we'll find the bed. All right, I'll see. If you could just write a song. Oh. If you could write and perform a song for me, I know they would hear you and come running back.

Oh, I was going to, here, let me just quickly fly up and then I'll be able to see if I can spot them from here. Oh, great. Hey, Frosty, now that I'm full of skier, I think it's time I drank out of your thing, so I don't shred my vocal cord for tomorrow when I DM. No, I'm still here. Yeah, you're not flying. Oh, yes, here. Have some of the tankers.

Please, do I get to, I got a roll of these sex? Yeah. No, just what is what? Oh, no. I have three things. Yes, so one, two, and three. And then. Say trees, um, skier and feet.

Frostbite. Please be helpful. Oh, that's... Scare. No, trees. Strees, steer, and frostbite. It's a two. One to two.

No, it's one and... It's D6, so one and two. I know. So I do one and four, two and five, three, and six. She's been doing this since we did two before. I don't know why you do it that way. I'm not.

Oh, I'm finally back, Frank God. What the fuck is skeer? I don't know what you mean. Oh, it's a type of yogurt. It's disgusting. Oh, don't know. Eat that shit. while I

felt it for you That's disgusting Why don't you feed me that shit Please roll on the Nottier nice table Because it was very nice We were to make you a here Please see that Ruby encrusted gem

bowl that she used That thing was worth of pretty pennies on it's very expensive And I did it because you asked Oh no Put up with the Nottie bag Oh 13 minus 6 Give me my tanker back

All right I'll be right back Frost you're not going anyway I hate to break it to you man What in the fuck is going on now You see a very sexy girl. And I turn into a child, a very naughty child. Because you are the naughty child, anytime you roll, you subtract a D4 from your, sorry, so instead

of rolling a four to see what you gain, you don't roll that D4 for your... Oh God! Is this an art? This is bullshit! I would like to... to attempt to contain him in my dolly, my bag, your whole day. I need all three of you to roll in the naughty and nice table, because this is naughty to try and stick some way.

It's a charisma, uh, fuck, I want to fail. Stephanie, come fucking hard. 42. Okay, pull from the naughty bag. Okay. Um, I need... using my goddamn shit. Mikey keeps taking in them, remember? Get out of my...

No, no, not the D4. I need the, uh... That's not mine, 100. I don't know. Is that mine? Or is that Derek's? I don't know. It's a green sign.

Mine's green. Maybe that's... Oh, no. I have two. It's come back to haunt me. Is one of them yours? No, no, no. Oh.

Yeah, that's yours, right? Yeah. Uh, 30. I have them, a kiwi? Put it back in back. No, no. Let's get over here. That's so crazy.

I got a 30, so I'll be... Totally funny back. As soon as I try and help you do I reduce in size? So you watch as Renee begins to help you and as she grabs onto Grico's new childlike form

her arms begin to shift and change and you see where once was her silver flesh is now burlap and cloth as her body begins to shrink down her hair that vibrant red now turning into red yarn and where once her eyes are now two buttons she is turned into a ragdoll

I got just the spot for you I'll figure up I will tire on my belt next to all the other voodoo dolls. Put me down! Roll on the naughty list. And I'm just wiggling there, trying to get away from the video. And because you cannot see through buttons, you have no longer have vision. That's true.

I can no longer see. Well, that's a nightmare. It's probably for the best if you're on this belt. 12. Oh my God. Did he see? Raggedy Renee. Oh, I did you roll?

Yeah. Yeah. 18 17 first of the saving throw. All right. So I do not bag. him and I also for your own meta information I did this one. Morbid me. Oh I was hoping

you would get that one. I can't see fucking shit. So Freemian now has Renee hanging from your belt. Yes. And you immediately see his clothes again burst. He gains 300 pounds and more

as he gets covered in brown fur. Little ears pop up, his nose shortens. into a little snout and he has big claws and well I guess I should have expected this

I mean I'm a bear now what can I say oh my god you turned into a bear I'm going to put a fucking bear Are you gonna try to sell me some Charmin Ultra I mean now that I think about it my ass does seem pretty clean frankly I mean you know would you like some Charmin Ultra Nothing I would do put me down I mean they're already kind of

split at the scenes, but how do I look now as a bear? Pretty terrible. Can I talk as a bear? I'm like a little... You can talk. This isn't so bad. You can call me...

He's offered. You smell like... There. I don't know what's happening, but you... It smells pleasant to me. Let's continue. I think we're supposed to write a song for... Oh. You see his... Carol's standing there. Her eyes wide. And she watches Grigo turn into a child,

Grimmie turn into a bear, Renee turn into a ragdoll all in front of her. Yep. That's, how about that song? I look at the underside of the gazebo. Do I spy any mistletoe? You do. There are reeds hanging all around it,

and each connecting point you see a sprig of mistletoe. There are six in total. We'd be happy to write you a song. If you would just lay one on me, I'd be happy to give you a song right now. Lay one what on you? A kiss. Look where I'm standing.

And I move over underneath the mistletown. See? I guess it's tradition. She leans over and she leans in and her metal lips pucker out as she kisses you firmly on the lips. It's cold. Ew, that's gross.

I'm like, we got to have you. I think of a bag. I mean, would you like to try it? I mean, I got bear claws now. I could, you know, half per se. You know, I'm a bit of a hack. Are you a 400 pounds? I mean, now that I think about it,

I guess you could call me Bear Chan. I'm definitely at least four. I think maybe 800 pounds. This is the worst song you've ever heard. Are you going to help? I need Renee's assistant. One moment. I swipe Renee off of your belt.

Oh, thank you. And then I give you a sip from my tanker. I kiss your little ragdoll head. And then I give you a sip for my tanker. Are you gonna read your so they know what's going on? Yeah, I am obsessed with mistletoe, but only because I'm even more obsessed with kissing. One, two. Ross, I didn't think you felt that way about me, but I appreciate you restoring me to make.

Good clip. Yep. So you have, you have ragdoll. That's right. And you have, what else do you have on you? The snow. You're eating snow. So a D4, one and two, three and four.

Holy shit. So one for snow, two for ragdoll. Three for snow, four for ragdoll. I need two and four, two and four, two. You were no longer ragdoll. You have that alchemy jug there. Do you mind making me some honey? I can only offer you the icing that's easy now until the next done, but you're welcome to have it.

We have a limited ice shirt. It's not quite the same as honey, but I guess it'll sort of do. I guess. I'll just start like. like chugging. This is infinite. Just don't get some funny. I want him.

And I want to spoil me Apertine because I'm a naughty child. Now do you have any space left after you ate all that skeer? What is skiing? This is a york out on me through. Well, shut you up. Here you go.

And I give him the Alchemy and Jug. Not but don't. Eat the fucking icing. Don't break it. Oh, this is lovely. My appetite is now spoiled before dinner because I'm very naughty. You shouldn't have been giving him any icing.

It's sugar. The only thing that you could have done worse, just give him some coffee and teach him out to play Magic the Gathering. Do you have any games? I don't have any games on my phone. Shut up! Drag to D20. Somebody get me a D-10. They're rolling a D-100. I don't know. It's gone. No, they're all the zero kinds. Spock. I fail. It's a 15 minus 8. What's that?

What's that? Five? This is yours. Derrick's has lost to the ages. On the floor somewhere. Yep, it's good. I mean, I think it's in your crotch. Is it in your crotch? No. I felt it ran real good down there. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I need to fill in his nose. I forgot to do that. Do I put this back in the bag? What is it? The eyeball one? No. Okay, so I just hang on over here. Yeah, the only one that goes back in the bag

is the... the skier one. We're burning through this tankard real quick, but I think you probably need... Oh, you... You spilled some of the icing just here. I can't do you. You see the largest porcelain doll of your life.

It doesn't seem to shrink down. So I'm now an 800-pound bear porcelain doll. Dear God. I know I think it's clean. And I'm making out with you. Oh, no! And then I give you a tip of the tankard. Oh, you have how many things now?

I didn't just too. Oh, no. D4? Yeah, because that one overrides the bear. One of three is bear. One. So the bear, oh, so the bear was gone? Okay.

Because the bear was gone. So you're no longer a porcelain doll. Got it. And I'm not a bear. As he's kissing you, he's kissing the side of your mouth. You're not really able to move them. Your porcelain lips. They're cold.

You can feel your porcelain slowly starting to crack as the cold seeps into you. Frost is kissing. the side of your mouth furiously, while he's also pouring mead into the small slotted opening between your porcelain lips. And slowly, froshed, you can feel the warmth of Cremie's face. Join with yours as you're kissing him furiously, where once was a 600-pound doll, is now

a 200-pound alligator, and you're kissing him furiously. You have a long mouth, Cremie? But that was so Smiley's That was nice to That's kind of tickle of my gifts We're all underneath the mistletoe

Oh You're my huckleberry Let's pick a fucking song You get out of here Holy shit I don't With any of those things I would

I get a roll It's thrown a tank On its face Tree Tree Feet Child Three or sex

Three or sex Fuck What is that one Feet Feet Feet Oh my One more, one more.

My feet no longer held. You're holding him down and you're just pouring this meat into a town. One is a child, two is the other thing. Oh, my goodness. Yes, thank you. Oh, the trees. Oh, no. I mean, the trees do have secrets, but that is a huge improvement.

Look, it's the least of all worries. Let's just make a song. Are you going to write a song? Are you going to keep doing whatever this is? Oh, let's draw a song. It was actually a drama. I'm a drama, pull out my drama. The little drama.

I could have been the little bit of that shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Really? Okay. We're going to play a very nice tune from the top. Rum, pump, pump, pump, pump. Rum.

Uh, bum. Um, deep. Out of D6 because it's a curse. Well, it's a group one, so it'll be like one person. Okay, that's fine. Does Mike Grigg fiddles bonus, uh, make that a not disadvantage? No. But you add a D6 because of your cloak, right?

Are you a tabber? Well, we're doing this as a group. And that's a saving throw, I believe, not a check. Does his charisma-based checks? Yeah, just charisma-based checks. Well, if he's making it, he doesn't have it. Two on performance, I'm fucked. You can choose who's going to do it,

but I'm going to have one of you make it at disadvantage. I should probably do it. Oh, yes. But the Grig Fiddle doesn't make it at advantage? No. It would make it normal, not at advantage. Yes, I don't have a disadvantage. Yes.

Okay, so, because it makes performance checks made an advantage, so it's normal. Your Grig Fiddle does. And I add a D6, and I have it. I got my very pleasant tabodon. I'm gonna use these kiwi dice from the lone guard. Mm-hmm. Only one of one, huh? One's a natural one.

Uh, plus a two. Uh, three, three, and five. I got five charisma, all right. Okay, that's an eight. That was horrible. I mean, normally when you write a song, you should actually write a song. Well, wait, you guys already wrote the song.

Oh, we did. Oh, hold on. Let's write a song. I know just the tune. As they pull up Motley crew. Oh yeah, we're going to write a song for you. Frosty, you're the singer. I'm going to give you a little beat, okay?

We are starting a band. Cremier on keys. All right. Cremant, you on keys. Renee, you're on bass guitar because you're the girl. Okay. All you have to do is this. I have a lute, if that makes sense.

No, you're on bass. Oh, okay. I don't have a bass. Frost, you're on lead guitar and vocals. I'm just on vocals, I think. Comey, you're on peace. I guess we're going to sing this. That's fine.

I haven't sung this in perhaps a year. Comey, okay. You know I'm a gator, and I say what a do. I found my way to the Fay Wild in search of better tasting roo. Another piece of pumpkin pie, I would trade my soul. Just one more slice. Or you'll learn why they call it a death row. I live for the good life.

Comfort is my code. They gave us a house, a stocked kitchen, and my velvet bathrobe. It's in the same. It's in the fay Rome, sweet Roe, it's in the fad As you finish

As you finish your song You see that Carol is Raising up off of the ground a little bit As her, as her The bell part of her skirt begins to jingle And you hear it Before you even see it, the chime Of these silver bells

As they make their way out of the forest And all of them begin to play in unison together as they sing and they all clap for you. Yes. That was wonderful. Thank you so much for bringing the silver bells back to us. That's what I'll call it Jingle Bell Rock. Oh, if I've ever heard.

Vintage Greenhouse. I speak for all of the bells when I offer for you to illuminate our Yule tree and take of one of the gifts beneath it. All right. Thanks, lady. Thank you. So anyways, I started blast them. Oh, we have to roll, right?

So you color in one and then you pull a D6. Oh. Another one. I'm going to have to have two. Two. Two. You only have to fill up one of those. Whoever fills up one first.

Oh, is each tree one? No, the trees all count as one. Oh, they do? Yes. Oh, hell yeah. That's next for me. Oh, they all, I've been doing, man, I've been doing really bad. Oh, the trees all count as one?

Yeah. Oh, I've been doing individual trees. Yeah, I've been doing individual outlines. What do you mean you've been doing individual outlines? Well, you said fill in a thing, so it's like one part of the peppermint, like, that's, I misinterpreted what you meant. Each antler is the own thing, though, right? Or is it the whole, the reindeer guy? All the antlers.

Oh, so both antlers. Okay. Yes. Okay. That's what I've been way off. I need to catch it. I think I know. I think I'm right.

And then do we roll on the naughty or nice thing? Oh, yeah, we do. Yes, you will roll on the naughty or nice thing. Okay. And you will roll at advantage, or not add advantage, but with adding a D20. Okay. I don't need that a D20. I totally succeeded.

So I got four. I got 49, but then because we added one. Hell yeah, motherfucker. Each of the thingies is a thing, so I want to thing it. What happens all my fucking dice? Having the coloring makes the RP prompts was painful. This is great. Oh, 54.

I can't even pass. Like a little respite from the storm. Are cool, too. Wait, so if we fail, do we not get an item? You do not take, you just don't get an item, but you don't take a other thing. Yeah, one of them has two things, so you have to read both of them.

I just, I just forgot to tape them together. Oh, it's another tavern. I got two taverns. You can put one of them back. Oh. Now put the whole one back. Do we get to take another thing? I've got a wooden snow deer.

I mean, are you still turning a, wood? No. So now I roll a D10. Right? No. You roll D100 added D20 to see if you choose something from the sack. Hi, silver bells. Hey, shovel bells. All silver bells. We are silver bells, everyone. Everyone loves silver, but, blah, but, 73. You can take something from the bag. We're running out of bag stuff. It seals it. I got a cloak of warmth. already have a cloak of war? I have one. Immunity to cold, speaking up your reduce. I got the plushy Holy King and a big

poofy over and appears in my arms and I give a big old scoes. It's so cute I love. The Holy King is the other. He's the crampus. Oh, he's the crampus. But it's his plush form before he turn into the crownless. So each tree means this would be one

all been colored in. Okay, so I got nine other things to fill out. Exciting. Can you give me your hot red over there? Here's a hot red. Yes. Here's a hot red. Maybe my hot red.

Whoa. Gross. Yeah. That's pretty bad. Take it easy. Well, oh, well, thank you. Carol, it was lovely meeting you. Yes, it was great to meet you too.

Thank you so much. But you now practice and we'll be ready to go once the 12 days of Yule Tide revelry begins. That is if we actually save the, uh, the Hali King. You will. I know you will. Thank you. And say, oh my God. Guys, I just realized, are we saving Chris?

I mean, you're tired? If only my friend Ernest was here, he would have known what to do. Perhaps you can call it a... Ernest was actually a friend of Jeremy, too. Oh, really? Yeah. Did he also have a friend named Vern? He was a possum, Ernest.

He was a possum. He was. Yeah, and Verne was a little deer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Then what? And then, oh, well, you know, we're going to save you all, Todd, together. So where do we go next? Yeah.

Help us out, Jackie Lynn, as we color. Well, let's leave the Grove and allow them. Oh, Becca! Oh, thank you. You want to have to roll on the naughty or nice favorite roll. This is a straight roll. A straight roll. Or I will actually allow Becca to choose.

Do you want them to roll at disadvantage or advantage? Yeah. Or add the D20 or to subtract it? No. I think that we should leave the group. grove and we will, well, it doesn't look like any of you have

fully kept out on your revelry, so you have to find way to make more joy. Well, who, is anyone else left in this grove? Or do we help everybody? You helped everyone that I know of. Fuck! You could come sand over here underneath his mistletoe if we could make some more joy.

Don't you have the jolly red bag of the Holy King? Oh, yes I do. Isn't there a way that the DM potentially put ways for you to earn addition Oh, how can we do it? How can we do it? Well, I thought that that just triggered the bag hole. I didn't know if that triggered merriment. Will you have to roll for it?

So you're essentially getting free gifts. Oh, but some of these give us merriment? Hmm? Some of the things in gear give us merriment? No, it's, uh, right? You're supposed to be taking one merriment? Are you supposed to be rolling a D4 for every time you pull something from that? Oh, I haven't been doing that, yeah.

That's why I'm confused. Okay, yes, I can pull things from the bag and hand them out to everyone. That's... Has to be Mikey. He's been far too naughty this session, and I'm assuming that's going to be subtracting a D20. Oh, then I'm filled out, basically, if we've been doing that, every time we... Yeah, I'll just fill myself out. Because each candy is own thing, right?

Yes, each candy is fun. Yeah, so I'm with that, with this role I'm filling in here, but... Okay, I'm naughty though. I'm naughty. I hope I'm naughty to fulfill Becca's request. A real hot I'm naughty Please vote from the naughty bag Yes

Yes I hope I get I will say the naughty bag was way too much fun Creating prompts for Which one did you create from scratch The naughty side? Yes everything on the naughty side Okay

Guys Guys Is it the trees again Why are you trying to steal Mejoy What about it? Why? You know what? We've been traveling together for how long?

Mm-hmm. And all you've done is brought me down. Oh, Grico's just being Grico again. Fuck that guy. I thought we graduated from this a long time ago. No, we didn't graduate. I've never graduated nothing in my whole life. I've never even learned hooked on coming, Frosty.

But you won't let me forget that I can read. Well, that's why you have a book that literally will teach you how to read the ancient language of the... I think we gave that away and we destroyed the whole plot line. I think you're right. Yeah, we ruined everything, Frosty. I'm going to do a nice chocolate pop. I mean, you are all stealing me joy.

What's wrong? Do you need to hug? Don't touch me, Renee. You're just going to steal... I need you to yell on the naughty list. Me? Yeah, you're yelling at Renee for no reason. Because she's stealing me joy! No, it's not for me a heart. You are stealing me joy with Renee.

Why are you just grabbing something roll? Oh, I got a roll. It's very tempting to do that, I will say. He's like, I just want more. Oh, 77, minus 19. You're fine. I'm fine. Yeah, you're fine.

Renee, why are you stealing me, Troy? I'm trying to give you Troy. No, you're not. No, you're not. Do you want these hug or not? You want some hugs? So, Bricko, you're a full merriment. Why don't you go on and get one of them reindeer,

and we can... Oh, that's a great idea. No, no, no, no. I have to pull from the bag. We're not... Oh, he can ride the reindeer. Well, we can all ride the reindeer together. No, the DM has said that I need to finish my ship before I can ride the reindeer. I did. Yeah, but no, you can fill up your whole merriment thing.

He's filled it up all the way. So he can ride on that thing, right? Yes, he can ride a reindeer. Okay, let's go for a reindeer. Do you want to ride a reindeer? Come on, let's go and ride a reindeer. No, I'm underneath his mistletoe. Why don't you come?

Come back and make out with me. We'll have some... Joy together. Joy. So I will lead the group to the area and say, okay, Mr. Rainier, I'm feeling so merry. Have you seen me stocking? It's filled with delightful treats. Would you like one, Mr. Rainier? Do you actually have something to give it?

We have stockings, right? We're giving stockings by the person? No, no. from my bag. Oh, we need to pull from the bag. I'll give it. Here, trustee, I want to pull from your bag. Yeah, take my bag. Give you a little snooch on the way in. Why are you pulling something for the bag? I thought, except we need to get something for the reindeer. Didn't you instruct me that I had to pull from the bag in order to get the merriment I needed? No, I'm saying if you needed additional merriment, you can use the bag that has a certain amount of charges

where you can pull a present from it. When you pull a present, you pull a present, you roll a D4 and you add that many numbers of merriment. And that's always true about the red bag. That's Always true about the redback. And so I'm catching up from previous polls because I'm not doing that. All right, but if, so I have no idea what we're doing now. So, Gregos at full merriment, so he can mount and ride a reindeer if he can find one and convince it to allow him to write it. The same way you did in the very beginning. You just couldn't mount it because you weren't at full merriment.

Oh. So I need to be a full merriment, which means I need to use one of the charges. No, I'll consider, Mr. Rainier. Are you here? I'm a reindeer. Roll an animal handling, check. I'm a reindeer. Come here. I'm a reindeer. Why did I roll that at advantage? I don't know.

Exactly the same, literally the same roll. Animal handling, you say? 27. You call out and you see a reindeer slowly begin to approach as it peaks its head out of the fronds of the trees. You see that it is looking at you quizzically, but a little nervous. Hello, little reindeer.

you're full of cheer. I'm feeling very merry today. You're looking very pleasant. It looks at you confused. It doesn't seem to be common. Oh, hello, little reindeer. Come here. I'm going to walk up to it.

And I'm going to be feeling very wisdom. And I'm going to be like, I'll be casting druidcraft and have little hollies. What naughties do you have on you right now? I have, I hate the trees. right

fuck this trees of secrets everyone tried to steal my joy not a child anymore I've been transformed my toes are frostbitten

oh my fucking toes right or no no you lost I lost that yeah you lost it so it's just the trees and everyone's sealing my joy just making sure

that you're keeping up with those I'll roll an animal handling check they're stealing me joy I did 17. No, no, no, no. Another one. You're now approaching it. That was to get it to come to you. Natural 20. 30. I think he's got it.

You are, it leans down and allows you to pet it. It seems to be calming to you and accepting of you. I'm going to trotter rod you now, Mr. Reindeer, or Ms. Rainier, or Mrs. reindeer. And I'm going to... Roll an animal chandling check to see if they'll allow you to mount it. 1929. You, it leans down. It's forward haunches. and it allows you to kick your leg astride it.

There is a firm leather sandal mounted to it. Two straps of jingling bells. And as you find yourself astride it, you can see through the forest line that the other reindeer in the area are quizzical and interested as they make their way over, but they hold back to the side and you are firmly atop one of the Holly King's favorite reindeer.

I'm gonna cast me with animals okay I cast that and I'll say hello mr. Rain do you understand me? Oh yeah oh that's great I really like your voice my name is Grig Grimgrin and I'm filled with lots of Utah cheer would you like can me my friends ride your friends are they married like you are can I share the merriment no so they need to be married too yeah Oh, well, guys, you got to pull off out of the bag. Oh, I'll give me the fucking bag. Take one. So you have to roll on 90 nights.

You have to roll. I failed my first roll. You roll with the 20. We have seven more charge. So you get to add 20. Oh, no, sorry, these ones are straight rolls because you're using the charges of the bag. Can I run it two piece busts? Yes, take the bag after cremings done.

It's a D-100? 52, barely. So roll a D-4 and add that amount of merriment. Do we both from the bag room? Yes, you pull from the bag of the bag of baggie. with then you add that amount of merriment. Can I roll? Yep.

Okay. It's just a D-100 straight. Okay. All right. 75. All right. Roll a D4, add that amount of merriment and pull from the bag.

Inzer 1. Jesus. Gayser watches color guys. You like that? I have a second tab out. I'm gonna pull again. Would you like my tabout? I would love a tabard. I've been very jealous of the tabber.

That was very kind of you. You may roll with an additional 20. on the Nottie or Nottie or nice lips. Merry Christmas. Oh, I roll again. I failed. Pull from the naughty bag. Me?

Yeah, pull from the Nottie bag. So I roll again? Yes, but when you add to a 20th? Can I add a super green over there? This one? Yeah, that's the one. I got 31. So you don't need to do anything.

But I add just nice. I add two merriment because of the thing. Yes. I will attempt to pull from the bag. Okay. And I get a 93, so I succeed. So roll a D4, add that. And then pull from the bag.

That should finish me off with the one. It will not. But I do get to enjoy. Oh, run out. Run out. Remember this tiny motherfucker is. What's this guy going to hear? I got a little red winter hat.

Oh, that's cute. That's just cute. That's just precious. So is this one? How many charges do you? How many charges do you have? We have a six candy. Just feel free to pull out.

I'm pulling. I'm pulling. I just want to eat a lot of sweets. Mim, he's sweet. Why are you shooting me joy? 71. Mr. Rainier here is so friendly. You roll a D4, add that amount of merriment. Another one.

Yep. I've only rolled, I've rolled a two, and then all the rest have been ones. Damn. We'll take another thing. Make another attempt. I'll take another attempt. Oh, that's fine.

But Jackie in the box. All right, we have four remaining. They're getting a nice respite right now. Yeah, we're all the laughing's over while they're gaining merriment. Another pass. Miniature snowball launcher. Oh, that's fun. So hold on that, that, that, that, that, that.

Each one of the berries is one? Yes. So, I'll have one, two, two. Three, four. Is the sock itself one, too? Yes. Okay. I'm almost done, everyone.

Yay. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm pulling from the bag again. Done. Okay. Do you have any charges left? We have three more charges. Have you pulled.

My stocking is dumb. No, that's a fail. All right, pull from the naughty bag. Oh, it's a great roll. Fail. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I need.

Can we get these on the fridge after we finish? Yes, we do. I love it. coloring. What did you get? I zipped down my trap. And I start pissing everywhere. Oh, no, my snow.

I can't stop peeing. If you notice, Maya, yours specifically says you shovel snow into your mouth and you don't look at it at first. Yeah? So I'm peeing everywhere. I eat it. Wow, this is disgusting.

This is awful. We need to stop this right away. Both of you drink from the tanker right away. Hurry, quick, quick. You all stealing my judgment. joy by eating piss. You're disgusting. Stop eating piss now.

I can't dump it. Do I get to... Skiddo, where's this scheme? Do I get to drink from it, Derek? What's that? You need to drink from something. You need to drink from the tanker. Okay, I drink from the tankard, I no longer... So is that the only thing you reflected with is the snow? Yeah, okay.

That's the only thing. And you can roll forward if you want to stop peeing everywhere. I would prefer if you drink from the tanker this time. Yes, I would like to do it. Do you have anything besides the peeing? Yeah, I mean, we eat candies. A candy's one and three. Free. So I'm still being naughty.

Here's my, here's my stocking. Oh, it looks so cute. The tanker has 10 charges, I don't know how many they. It's going on the fridge. We use all but one. Oh, we have one charge. Can I use one more to stop peeing? I can't stop peeing!

Can I take from the bag, please, the Santa bags? Stop stealing my joy! Yeah, we have a... two more bag items remaining if you can take from there and I will also have to do that and hope that I get an acceptable number. So that's two. Nope, 32. You want to please take from the naughty bag?

Oh no, I forgot that this happens here. Can I have the naughty bag please? Oh, 56. All right, roll a D4. Oh. I made these bags today, by the way. Oh, thank you. I got exactly what I needed. I got three.

Perfect. So I'm good. I don't need any more charges. I'm gonna take another charge in the bag, if we have any. Any charge from the bag left? Of what? Of the E. B. Santa bag. It's the last time.

Okay. I mean, you just need two more. End it. 44. Please take something in the naughty bag. Oh, my God. Well, every time I speak soot billows out of my mouth, if I don't speak, the soot builds up until I start choking. This is an unfortunate for big of men,

I might have to drink from the tankard, but I have to have. Four naughty items makes it very low. Bye, humble. Nothing makes me happy at all. Oh, but how happy to be anything for me? Nothing makes me happy.

And this is done. This is so much fun. I have a flute. Would anyone like a flute? No, I think that's all I have. Nothing makes me happy at all. Woods gone. This is gone. Bears gone.

Well, I don't know how we get out of this predicament. We are out of this bag appears to be empty. And we have only one tankard left. And I have only one more item to fill out in my imaginary thought town. Well, I mean, nothing really makes me happy, but I should try to be nice to me, maybe. That might work. Oh.

Try to fucking cheer me out. I don't know. Are you still kissing people? There's no mistletoe here. Let me think of something nice to do. I will go up to Kremi and I will take him around the waist. I can show you the world. Smoke is spilling out of his mouth.

We haven't looked at the ground. Thanks for trying, Frost. I know I can I can do this So just Hold on Look man, it's not gonna work Nothing makes me happy at all

What about a cute little dance from Hootsie? Hey Hootie do a little dance That's a great idea, Gregor Hootie do a little dance For Crummy Pahba ba Bha Bha Nothing's gonna be me

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hootsie does a dance and you feel like She gets to roll on the Naudie nice table. Oh. So I'm gonna do that for her. She's gonna have to hold one of these. Fuck, what fuck. Luckily she passes, so she does gain some cheer. Good job, boots. Hmm, I'd have to be nice. I can tell you another joke, perhaps. Are you actually trying to be nice, Dan? Yeah. Go ahead and roll on the maimette table. Or then not your nice table. I thought I had to do something nice, not attempted 94th. Oh no, that's 49. But, but

with a D20 because you were attempting to do something. I can't fail. I got a two. 51. You may roll a D4 and add that to your marion. Oh, I almost had one. Oh, son by both Grico and Hoossey. Oh, that's cute. That's cute.

That's pretty cute. Oh, I got another red winter's hat. Would you like a red winter's hats, Renee? Do you have one? I have my Santa hat. There I go. Oh, I love a hat. Thank you. So with that, you feel all of yourselves full of

merriment. As you look around, you see... I don't have enough merriment yet. Oh, you still don't, okay. And you're an asshole, so... My man, nothing makes me happy, but at least I'm with my friends. Let's all pulling together. I think this is a right time for a group of come on. Let's go. Cremie.

What don't you be something? Do something noise, Cremie. Nothing makes me happy. The Euras of Phantom Carvannas of an island in the air, so I can fly you all around is very, very... And that's how a T.K. And you don't have any more in the jug? I have one more tanker charge, but it seems like I should probably hold on to it.

Well, nothing can make me happy at all, so I don't know how I'm going to make up as happy. Even with the Aggie? Hey, Clapton! Thank you. Give it you a good idea. You get to choose who you want to roll on the Notier Knights table, and whether you want them to roll with a D20 or subtracted. Just know that there was a right answer and a wrong answer. Thank you for those.

Tell him, hey. Give it to cremary, please. Thank you. How many more do you have? Check it out, everybody. I need one more rule. Because two's the minimum. I can get out two left.

Here, why do you drink from this tankard? Well, let's just spend it. Give it to creme. Oh, no, that's that would have me sad. I drink the tankard. Oh, I'm happy again. Um, what can I do? Oh, hold on.

Give me an hour. I'm going to make you all. lovely meal. Oh, a lovely meat. What are you making for us, Cremant? Why don't you narrate as you cook? I'm gonna, you know what? Uh, yeah, it's winter time. So Clapton just joined. So we're doing a very faywild holiday one shot. And when you do a twist of fate for us in this campaign, they are rolling on the naughty and nice table. So if you gift that to us, you can choose who you want to have to roll and whether they get to add a D20, which could potentially help them get something nice or subtracted D20, which could force them to have to pull something from the naughty back.

Which so far has been turning into... You still need one more? Santa Claus himself. I just need one roll. Why do you pull from this exploding cracker with me to increase your merriment? Oh. Oh, really? Yeah, let's do it.

Well, so you might want to read it. It's fine. Two creatures must pull on either end. Competing strength check. a character can fame pulling and Cremie, you get to roll and add a D20 thanks to Clapton. Thanks Clapton. Thank you Clapton.

106. Nice. To pull from the super not invented. You get to roll two D4s. Oh shit. Oh, need more coffee? Not that it will really help you. Two D4s. I think that's everything.

Yeah, three. One, four, five. Yeah, I'm good. It is with that that you all find yourselves bursting to the brim with merriment. The reindeer's are encircling the area of the forest that you're in and they're watching you. Curiously, as you see Grico astride his reindeer, what do you do? I think he's time. I think we're afraid of knowing that now we can, we can mount one of these reindeer. Let's do it. Are you okay? No, and I'm out of tanker. Oh, look at him. You see.

spilling forth out of his mouth. His lips are completely covered in soot. And you've been kissing with that mouth? Yes, very much. Let's go, Rick, come lead the way. I think we have to go and attract our own reindeer. Rainier hate. So do a group animal handling, Jack.

And I still am at advantage because... Do we get to add a D6? Natural 20. Are they fake creatures? They are. All right. I got a 21. They're feindier.

What is it? There's nothing for you. Fane deer. I love that. Why do we add a D6? Because they're Faye. Because of our cloaks. I think it's wisdom checks too.

No, you add a D6 to charisma checks. This is a wisdom check, right? Yeah. Oh, because it's animal handling. Oh, I'm sorry. I was doing performance. So, never mind. Animal handling, uh, 23.

Okay. Um, there's eight. You see as everyone around you, was able to mount their reindeer's cremie, but as you're moving forward, the one that you're trying to attract is having a difficult time, he seems very skeptical of you.

I get off my reindeer and I come over and try to go over here. Don't be this three and then. Please roll in the night table. Goddeme it. I'm not cut out for this. I pass. Is that minus the D20? Oh, no, I don't pass. It was a 16 out of 61.

I feel all anyway. Oh, boy. Well, I'm now an ice snatch. you, I can barely move. And if I melt, I die. You can definitely not get you on this reindeer now. Why were you gnaut? Because he wasn't nice to the reindeer,

and I was trying to help him. Well, there's no way for us to fix this now. Can you take a long rest? Can we sleep? Let's take a nap. Let's camp out in Rangue town. Do I feel like there's anything that I can do outside of the mug to try and cure him of that?

you think you could try. Could I try by casting to spell magic? I think you definitely could. Try by casting to spell magic. I will just do it at a third level because I don't know what's going on.

Just don't melt them. Okay, go ahead and roll. Don't melt me all that fucking die. This is a, I roll D20. Plus your. Wisdom. I hate body of word. Um, that'll be a 12.

A 12? 12? So that would be a third level spell or below. Third level or below, I think, automatically. But if it's- I always make you roll regardless, because I don't want you to know what the spells are. You are able to channel your magic

and spell magic on him. You watch as the, as Cremie begins to turn back into himself, the statue form fading. Now, look, look, all right, buddy. Hey, look, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna fuck with you at all. I just, you're very nice ringed here. You look very kind.

And I don't know what the DC is, but is someone to say, why don't somebody help me so that I can roll with the advantage? Oh, hey. A ride off. Renee is currently helping you. I did. You're going to, you're not very thankful. Well, thank you so much. That was 15, but the advantage is going to be.

It was almost a natural 20. That's a 13. All right. Come here. You slowly move towards it. It watches as you shift from an alligator to a statue back to an alligator. And as you move towards it, Renee's voice behind you, It looks around and sees all of your friends astride their reindeer, and it slowly acquiesces

to you, and it bends down and allows you to pet it, and then to mount it. No, you go. Oh, there we go. Isn't it nice to have Christmas cheer? You finished the first of four tasks. Wow! Tell me, tell me. Now you have to get across the Forever Frozen Lake, and then you have to get across the Forever Frozen Lake, and then you're going to be.

and then you have to get past the statue of the guards and then you have to get into the throne room. No problem, let's do it. Hey, René, do you ever remember that dispelling action? Action I could really, if it does the whole thing. Me too, me too. Can you? What's wrong with you?

The trees, and I hate all of you right now. That's fine. You take it on me joy. I'll dispel magic on him. On who? And I roll for it. On who? How many do you have on you?

I could do D8 and then 152, 4, 6. That was not what I needed to roll. I needed to roll do 20. Okay, so 23. Okay, you're easily able to dispel it as you wave your hand over him and you cast the magic and you feel all of the afflictions. Oh, thank goodness. Well, that's a really simple magical solution. This is one time I can say that I actually care for magic.

I appreciate that. Well, you know, Saionics is still magic, right? Thank you so much. No, no, no, no. It's totally different. No, it's not at all. It can't be counterspelled. It's not a spell.

So it's totally different thing. Well, it's magic. But it uses my mind for brain power. But I mean, Renee uses the power of the gods, and I use the power of the wilds, and Kremi uses the power of bear insomidy, and it's all different ways, and it's all just magic. Yeah.

Why is your brain? We have people in the Fay Wilde who can also use their mind to do stuff, and it still uses the weave. Well, and they were made of the weave, and that's the same. But I just use the power of my brain. I don't have to have magical patronage. I just do it through study and concentration. Yeah, the same way wizards do it.

We can have this conversation later. Yeah. Okay, well, I'll see you later. You snow, woman form is very nice. Thank you. Don't make any deals with the devil. I was stay close

I don't know about anyone else I've been literally imagining just the the world of Warcraft snowman this entire time and I'm imagining the Minecraft snowman and it is with that

that you make your way to the edge of the forest the edge of the grove of the eternal evergreen and you see the storm raging past you and as you inch your reindeer slowly out into it

you realize that if you didn't have them as your mountains You would take an amazing amount of damage so much so that it would have forced you back into the forest to do exactly that which I had you do to get on the reindeer. Oh, my God. And you realize that you have done it preemptively. You've gotten onto these reindeer. Find God. And you believe they can travel you through.

It takes hours as they're moving slowly across the ice, but their hooves are able to find purchase in the snow in ways they don't slip and slide. They're able to see through the winds. and though you can't see anything in front of you, you know that they are leading you towards where you need to be two hours, three hours, almost four hours pass as you find yourself

looking out at what appears to be a frozen nothingness in front of you. And then there it is, slowly coming into view. The hall of the Holly King. And as you look forward, you see that this place would be beautiful, this large wooden and stone,

structure. You can still see the decorations around it, twinkling lights, wreaths, garlands. But there's an emptiness to it, a coldness to it that you imagine hadn't been there before. And as you make your way towards it, you see a line of Nutcracker soldiers all at arms staring directly at you. And as you move forward, they take their weapons and point them towards you, but they see that a couple of you are wearing the tabard of the Holly King himself. We all are. You all are.

As they lower their arms, realizing that you have entry to this place, and whatever shenanigans would have happened had you not pulled those, you are able to avoid as you ride the reindeer up towards the very, towards the inside

of the halls. Let us through. We've got these tabards. The reindeer seem to know exactly where they go, is lead you from tunnel to tunnel to tunnel or hallway to hallway until you make your way into a large circular room with a gigantic open arched door firmly emblazoned in two sides of these doors are two nights one of them screaming at the top of their lungs the other one praying to every god they can possibly imagine they both look exactly the same but the one that is praying has a beautiful silver halo hanging

above his head. You listen and it's hard to hear him over the sounds of the other one, screaming and screaming and screaming. The one that is praying looks out at all of you. To whatever gods there are, please make him shut up. Please make him shut up. Please, I believe in any God, old gods, every God, whatever God you wish to be, devils, demons, I beseech you, please make him shut up.

Oh, new friends, great, they'll wallow here in horror and suffering alongside me. Gods, please cleanse us of this horror. Mucinix. I'm sorry. Mucinix. Mucinix, god of, whatever your god of, please, end my suffering, make him shut up, quiet him before me. And he continues, he continues to pray. Oh, we could have told you in a Tavernor's.

I'm sorry. Oh, I didn't realize that it was a sleeveless jerkin. You didn't know what it was? I don't go to the Red Bear that all. I'm sorry. Taverns were enrolled a workout. Yeah. Thank you for the reason of Skypool.

I love. Good to see you. We have to make this man stop screaming. Then we have to pray to do it. Dear gods, I've been praying for years. Just shut him up. Make him stop. Well, if you all try to gather to our own gods, maybe he'll stop?

I don't think that'll work at all. He's been praying here for years. He's been praying here for years. Levens, Lords of Blue. Make him stop screaming. I do not have a name. I'm but a knight in the door. Well, thoughts and prayers.

Why is he screaming? Ah, because he will not shut up. You ask him yourself, he'll scream at you. Vizio, why are you screaming? Why are we screaming? God's in pandemonium. Gods in the abyss, or devils in the abyss, gods in the abyss, gods, devils, demons everywhere. Lord and ladies Archbace, please make him be quiet.

I'm going to take the midwinter flute and try to place it over the screaming man's mouth. The flute? Blow into it. You place the winter flute and you hear, ah, please me! Ah, please me! As he blows air into it, yeah, because I can't do a flute sound.

And it is the most horrible sound you ever heard. It hurts you. You bend your head over and cover your ears. The sound of it is pure horror and terror as the other night. Oh, God's above and blue. Make them leave. Make them leave. Do not make this worse.

Make him shut up. I have an idea. I have an idea. A screaming door. Please stop screaming. I have sovereign I have sovereign glum. Oh, why do we play a nice lullaby?

Oh, modes above. Go to sleep. I would like you to roll an investigation check. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. 15. 17 little scream door. 24.

Frost, you're looking around. You hear Grico. performing this alibi and it seems to have no effect. You hear someone mention the sovereign glue but you look and his lips never close. There would be no opportunity to

fix the lips together. His mouth is just open and screaming. The other one is grabbing his head and then you notice it. The halo above his head is the only part that isn't fully fixed. It could be removed. Oh, is that halo?

Yeah, so the one that screaming does not have a halo, the one that's constantly praying has a halo above his head. I'll walk up and you'll see me reach out for the halo. Oh, God's above, what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm going to remove this halo. It doesn't appear to be fixed. Sure, just make him shut up.

Oh, Lord, I, Lords above and beyond. You take it? I have a halo. Lords above and beyond. Please make you shut himself up. Here you go, Mary, Mary Utah. What are you doing? putting it above the gentleman and screaming.

There's no slot there. You take it and you throw it above it, it clatters down his face, and he continues to scream. Ah! I think we'll have to fix it. Oh, there's a, no, it's not fixed. It's not a fixed, a fixed. Ladies, God's above, make him quiet. Shut him up.

Shut him up. Look through it. Oh. You look through and everything looks. Yeah, here you are. Um, you usually know what to do in these situations. Are you a creature, fella? No, he's not.

No, he's not. Come on. He's vile type. Oh, the door is screaming. It's not two knights standing there. So there is a door. It's an arch door that has the two doors and sent into it. One has a knight that had a halo above it.

He's the one talking and praying to you. The other one is constantly screaming. And he has no halo above his hand. Okay. You were able to pull it out, and it is a large, ring. It looks roughly about the size of the mouth of the screaming one. Oh, if you give it like a mouth ring, like I'm not in that kind of kinky shit. Renee. But you assume that I would. I mean, this is about the right size. But what? Go ahead, use the ring. What do you want me to

do with it? I'm gonna grab it and shove it in the mouth. You take it and I would like you to roll a sleight of hand check for me, please. Oh. With advantage. I did not think you were on that Correct. Natural 20. Okay. You grab it from the floor where it had dropped as Frost attempted to throw it onto his head. The other night, the holy night that's constantly praying for this one to shut up. You take the ring and you slam it into the mouth of the screaming night and his lips close around it forming a door knocker.

And as you do this, silence overcomes him. the holy night, please that you finally silenced the other night. Silent night. Holy night. As you silenced the one night, you realize that you are now able to use the knocker to open the door and enter into the chamber therein. Hey, oh, guys, we just did silent night.

That's the best fucking thing ever. And do you get it? That's so fucking good. Do you get it? By the way, I mean, I guess she'd be okay. You kind of watched that. Maybe he's into that. I thought, you know what? But you've seen Labyrinth, you'll understand.

It's a big old knocker. It's almost as good as Cyclops. Yeah, that was so. You knock onto the ring and you feel the door give way as it opens in front of you. You're now staring into the open chamber of the Holly King sitting on the throne. is the haggard old woman, Gryla, spilling around her, her 12 yule lads,

the creepy troll creatures. You recognize one of them. It's easy enough to see him. The yogurt gobbler. And, no. And we're going to have to defeat her and these 12 lads and whoever the other one was. To the corner, you see lashed and bloodied and hurt,

crying out in pain. The crampus, the Holly King in his new form. strapped to his back, the dark sack is bulging and undulating with the screams and cries of the children they're in. What is that? Give those kids back and where's the Holly King? Oh, you want the children? Yes. Well, you can't have them.

Barnoff. Once we've taken all the children, I will consume them and I will loan this land. How does that work? How does that work? Why do you need kids to own the land? Every child I consume like it's stronger. Oh. Well, it's not very festive of you to do that.

So you should probably just have it over to us. It is very festive. I feed on their naughtiness. Oh, they're naughty children? Every child is naughty. Hey, who hasn't been there, frankly? Hmm. So.

Turn, turn this fellow back. Yeah. Turn back. Or else you'll have to fucking kill you. You want to die? We can kill you. You think you can kill me. Hey, we've killed a lot of things.

Do you want me to set my hands? pet on you. What's your bad guy? Cremppus? Do you want to do mommy's bidding? And you can see as it turns and looks towards you its face has fallen, it's been

beaten and bruised, it lets out a wail of agony, but you see as it tries to get up, its body is wracked in pain, but it gets up and it starts to move towards you, it pulls on the chain, and you can see that it hurts it as it yanks it back, but it tries to anyway.

Kill each other then. And she sits there and watches you. We need to free the children and we need to end this crampus so that Holly can return. Need a kill to witch. Should we just go for it? Roll an intelligence check. Frost? Mm-hmm.

Oh, Frost, remember that thing? Oh, you don't need me. Oh, yeah, 24. Look at your magical items. I knew I knew it the flute probably the flute right doesn't the flute do something you're trying to use it on Grico you have Santa's well I have this sleepless jerkin

yes wrong before you gotta banish the hag suck it up and then Zach put a Christmas job I mean Utah Justice not Christmas I'm sorry I'm not sure what you're saying no I'll take the red winter's hat I'll attempt to hold on the head of the crampus. Please make a slight a hand. You're good.

You take your, you take your winner's hat. You realize what Grico's laying down. Oh, yeah, the rep. You take your hat and you sail it across. Gryla looks up confused as the Yule lad scamper about tearing at each other. One of them is shoveling yogurt down his throat. And you watch the hat sail directly.

towards the crampus and land directly on its head. It roars up and it tries to grab the hat off its head, but it's manacled. It can't reach up that high as its long fingernails are almost out of its control as it tears at its skin and causes itself to bleed. He tries to fix it, but it cuts itself some more. It's in a lot of pain and very confused. I'm sorry. I know that wasn't what you suggested.

And also, can you please roll in the nod of your nice list for me, please? You're terrible, Frosty! I will attempt to back the lady. Hey, skin gobbler. Skin gobler. I'm your big fan. Um, one. One.

Wait, you have to roll. We'll be 20. We'll see what you get. No, no, it was just straight. That one was straight. I would like you to pull two from the naughty back. Give me the shit. While he's doing that, I want to shoot Eldridge Blass at the chains holding the crampus.

Oh. Okay. Roll to attack. No, not the crampus chains. King Gobler. Hey. Yeah Hey, that's what you're supposed to sound like

That's what it sounds like Oh, that's all I can do Do I see any snow around me? Oh, there's snow everywhere, yeah The lowest is a 27 No, they all hit, yeah And I want to, yeah, look, this isn't you? And I'm trying to like break your heart in the chains

You are able, how many bolts do you have three? You were able to break three of the chains One on both on its wrists And one on one of its legs the other one is still attached. As it lumbered, it feels itself released. It looks back at her and you can see the craze look in its eyes. She has some kind of effect over it.

And though it looks like it's, there's a sadness to its face, it still is trying to lumber towards you, but it's still completely trapped in chains. Oh, you want to use my pet against me? I'm going to shoot all three at the last one. My limbs start to curl like this until all of them look like. like candy cane. And then I start to stare madly at the snow licking myself and just unspeaking,

I go into a nightmare madness house. I'm gonna die for the bag. Useless. And you try to steal your joy. I'm gonna steal your bag in exchange. I'm a candy for cane man. I want you to roll on the naughty table for stealing his stuff.

Oh no. Just straight. 21. You are able to hit it. As the last blast hits. and it tears forth from it and it lumberes towards you and you need to all roll for initiative. No, no, no, kill her. And you can put crampas out there on the mouth?

Oh, crampets. Oh, skittado, skiddle. My brain is a noodle. What does it say? You, what this goes? I can only speak in song Ron Riddle. Do all still get to get the bag? I need to catch with this filthy old hag.

Do get the bag. But you all need to roll for initiative as the crampus is, lumbering towards you. I get the bag for me. I get the bag. We don't need a... Uh-oh, that map camera. Where is it?

Oh, remember it's a new camera now? Oh, yeah. That's why I'm having issues here. Excuse me. I just want you to know I started writing Call of the Faye Wild and it turned into Faye Child. Yeah, that's me. That's you.

That's mean. Calls Fah Child. Um, 16. 17. I'm sorry, also 16. Wait, no, what's my dex? Never mind. I'm at 14. And so you were 16? Yep. I am 18. What were you, Grico?

18. Sorry. Which one of you wants to go first? Frost or Crummy? Or Gricko or Crummy? Me. Me. No, I'll go first. You can do. I'll go figure it out. All right, Grico. You are first an initiative. I don't have a thing. I'm going to have the bag,

and I'm going to run up, opening it, and I'm going to, I don't know, what's the range on this thing? I'm just going to open it as it unleashes the laugh of father return. And I'm going to say, um, while you're sitting there all smug and hearty, all I know is that you been naughty!

I'm going to, uh, she has a role at disadvantage for your, uh, for my, Rich, we're doing this theater of mine. She fails. She gets trapped in the set.

Yeah, yeah, we're theater in the sand. Just watch after the umbrella behind you. You watch as Grico runs forward. The bag opens up. You hear the booming lap. Oh, oh, oh. As he jumps down, he swipes up some of the skier with his, with his hand, and licks it as he covers the bag over Gryla,

covering her completely. with the bag. You see as she struggles, and for a second, it looks like she's going to make her way out, but he's able to pull a string and trap her in it. You see as you hear a loud pop as one, two, three, four, each one of the Yule lads begins to pop out of existence. No longer her, the anti-magic covering inside of this bag, keeping her magic from working. As you watch as the crampus lumbers towards you, it's in pain, it's bleeding, its eyes look charmed, as all of a sudden you see The twinkle began to appear. As the horns begin to shrink and where there was leathery, dark skin, you now see the Auburn billowy beard.

His form begins to shift and change as running towards you is now a pained and beat up Holly King. I will immediately... Quit killing. What an adventure. What an adventure. You're going to open this stack of children. You are looking at me like you would like to kiss me. And you see that he has mistletoe breathed all around his home.

I am no longer under that effect. Oh, you're right, you're not. I think I'm a candy cane man. And I also, I mean, I wouldn't mind, but I still think I would go and free the children. And you see as he, there is still a pack on his back. It's almost an exact replica of the one that you have. As he flips it around and he looks inside. I'll get you safely home, young ones.

Don't you worry. And I'll hold his bag to him and I'll say... He reaches out and he grabs it from you and it attaches it to his belt. This victory should not be shocking. Please put coal into her stocking. This is what I do. You have done a good thing here today. Champions of Oberyn.

And now champions of the Holy King. You look at a good thing. black shit though. Here, please eat this. And I hand them the curing candy. He, you actually see as he opens up his bag on his back. And you see multiple tiny hands, the children, reaching out with what

looks to be candy canes. As he grabs them and begins distributing them to all of you. This should clear your mind of all that ails you. I'm good. Well, at least heal yourself up. Because he's a candy cane. I know. I realize that. He doesn't. He was very convincing. He's a can. He's a can.

He's just wanting. you licked the fur off of your hand. What is the day? What is the day? I think you still have... Yeah, I think you still have a whole day left. Is it too late? Can we... Can we all go back to... We can.

To the banquet. Let me summon Rodolfo. The greatest of all, reindeer. Oh, my God. That's a great name. Meet me out front. Hold on, and I'll take my hat off, and I'll plop it on his head.

To not mention would be ashamed. Keith. takes his finger and he like tilts up your chin and he gives you a smile a jolly one you are meet me outside I'll ready the sleigh I'll bet you that Rodolfo is a

climatologist let me just say and as you make your way out front you watch as the largest of all reindeer's clops its way into the room he mounts it and rides at full speed directly down the path down

through the gully of all of the nutcracker guards and you see as some of them are pulling around a beautiful red sleigh the reindeer that you had written here on now tethered to the very front

he pulls Rodolfo up to the front in a position of honor as he helps move you in to the sleigh itself as he cracks the whip begins to levitate and rise up into the air and it quickly brings you back towards the festivities. You are held in a place of honor.

The children are returned to the land. You're able to rest up and cured of all of your maladies. And you have a lovely couple of days in the lap of luxury. You spend time with Obrin and hear the tales. You find out that he is but half of the Holly King himself. They are one and the same and not the same at all. You learn of their job in bringing about the changes of the seasons, midsummer and midwinter. What is it tailed there?

You've now witnessed both festivals, and you are an honored guest of both halves. You're able to witness the rise of the Holly Kings. He defeats O'Brien in battle. And you're able to spend, I'm not saying it, you are able to spend the 12 full days at court, reveling in the 12 days of Yule Tide revelry. You gain presents and honor and make brilliant new friends and form a bond with Obrin that you didn't think you'd be able to form. Without Titania's watchful eye here, it's different, more jubilant, more himself. And it was lovely.

And you hope that next year, you'll be witness to these festivities again. You'll end this session. Y'all. You'll be witness. I was going to say Yule. You will observe the end of this session. Holy shit. That's good.

Derek's dream. It feels fucking good. Happy Yule, everybody. Happy Yule. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventriss podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Hire

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