Legends of Avantris - Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 67 | Fallen Angel: Part 1

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

The party recovers after a large battle and begins the next step in their journey…   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris     Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/kWGNfCnKc34?si=1glmDRpgVgRiPEzi

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Capricio DeCesto, you can call me Caprice, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. Last time, and this may be a little bit longer because a lot happened. That's right. A lot happened, and I want to make sure that all of the players are feeling in the heads of their characters. Thank you.

As they experienced this. And you all met Virgil Zern at the Black Pyramid within the TIRMAN in the eternal sandstorm, the breath of the forgotten. And the chain god was very nearly breaking free of his long imprisonment. It was, at this point, you decided to assist him in his plan in helping empower the Felix's Raven Talangar dagger with a ritual of the Raven. queen that would take you in and out of the power held in the memories, held in the mementos in the magical ritual that he performed. You went through each of your own memories,

the first time that you had each experienced death, and each of you had lived the lives inhabited 10 different souls, 10 different people at different places in time, in a very bizarre otherworldly experience. And once you had empowered the dagger and prepared the ritual, you had then experienced the memories held within the mementos that was utilized to finalize this process and finalize the process of empowering the Raven Child and allowing the ultimate plan, the creature would devour a weakened chain god, and then be split in half by Zern, the process of which would transfer the chain God very briefly into his empowered soul, and then he would kill himself, forever sealing away, or at least ideally forever, sealing away the chain

god within the fortress of memories, the stronghold of the Raven Queen somewhere in the Shadowfell. You then learned through the stories that unfolded from these mementos of the process, a Barov von Zarovich and a Ravanaughia von Zarovich, Barov, an ancient grandmaster of the 13th Order, forging a blade with the power of death itself, strange cult to Shriga, a Vestani fortune on a child that would bring about blood and utter destruction, the ruination of a line

of a pregnant Ravanaugh. Ravanovia. This, however, due to the whisperings of a nursemaid, the blame was deflected to the wrong child, the unborn child in the womb of Ravanaughia, and the mother's love sending the child away to be taken care of somewhere else in Striga. a Sturm von Zarovich, the line eventually leading to Virgil Zern, a line which would then eventually lead to Milo, Felix's brother, which was then fused with the line from Barov and Ravanaugh, but through Alexei von Zavrovich,

which would then eventually lead to Sophia, or rather, Valesca, the Vestani child that you had saved. That fusion created a incredibly powerful creature of the Raven Queen that could use the power of death that had sealed it away. The chain god away in order to devour it. The memories completed, the rituals done. It was time to act. The chain god was. breaking free. The black pyramid rose to the sky inverted in an instant, and the doors split open, and you only saw for just a brief moment the horrible, unfathomable form of this impossible entity

that emerged, but only for a brief moment, as Luffy called upon the seven angels, the winddukes of Vaca. For a very brief moment, all of those wings descending upon with the rod of law, smashing into the chain god, splitting the seven angels and the pieces of the rod of law across the cosmos, but creating a shriveled, helpless, weakened mass of Thar's Dune for a moment. It was then devoured by the two-headed raven creature, causing it to swell and grow into a beast that perhaps could have been used to impossibly evil destructive ends. But in a moment, Virgil Zern acted, and he split the beast into with the empowered dagger. The process, killing the beast, but saving, sparing the children, as each half fell to the sand

and turned into Milo and Velasca. And the process, as you saw the dark energies of Thar's Dune surging in Zern's body, he brought his blade to his throat to end his own life. But he was stopped, wrapped up in his own four wings. As his, you had thought, familiar, grew larger and transformed into the one who's you've been dealing with this whole time. Pizzou, the demon lord, the Obereth. He taunted Zern and devoured him, consuming the power of Thar's Dune just as he had consumed the power of Misk of the Wolf Spider, the original Prince of demons, so long ago. However, someone had accounted for this, and some strange, shimmering,

silver curse afflicted Pizzou as it surged through him. He gained power, but also with a disastrous consequence, Virgil Zern's last chest move. And

in Pizzuzu's fury, before he left this dread domain, in one final mockery to Zern, he turned the man into what he had spent his entire life attempting to fight, some strange, gross, demonic crow,

who he had dubbed Raoum, the son of Pizzou. Is at this point that Pizzou disappeared into a cloud of feathers, claiming that apocalypse had arrived, even if slightly delayed? You now all are on the dunes of Harkir. You've just witnessed incredibly impossible things. Your body's now just regaining composure, your mind's regaining composure, but still struggling to. After the horrible manning babbles and the sight of Thar's doom, you come to and you see the broken jet black eggshells with a thick, viscous orange yolk or coating the shell. scattered across the sands.

You see the rubble of massive obsidian bricks from the ruined and crumbled black pyramid all around you. And you see two children on the sand as the storm whips around you far more subdued than you've ever experienced before. What do you all do? I immediately spread to Milo.

Immediately. You do. As I run and I run and I run when I get to about three feet from him, I stop. My hands are shaking. Is it really you? And I'll take a couple steps slowly. You take several steps towards him. And you realize now, you recognize the outfit that he's in. It's little more than a very simple tunic of Shadar Kai or or a Dusk Alf make, it is the same outfit that you've seen from the vision, from the Memento. And you approach and you see, although it's just, it's shaggy, mid-length brown hair in the sand, as you approach, you see the closed eyes. You see the face of your brother.

It does seem to be Milo as the sand whips over him slightly, as he's. he is sprawled out. And you see now, although he's on his stomach, you see his form rising and fallen. He is breathing. I'll kneel next to him and still hesitantly, as if I just can't believe what I'm seeing,

reach out for him and try to, like, hoist him up into my arms to get his face out of the sand, brush his face off, and just like cradle him in my arms. Milo! Milo! Are you all right? Milo, wake up. you cradle him.

And although his body is returned to its state before it had been fused, you now see the effects of what his long imprisonment and torture from Ravanaughia. Who knows whom else? He's weak, he's emaciated. And as you call to him, his eyes flutter open. And they seem confused and bewildered at first as they lock on to you. And you see a look, it takes a moment, but you see a look of recognition. And he says, I knew you would come for me.

You need to teach my friends how to make. ice cream soup and then he falls asleep in your arms it's okay buddy it's all right I'm here it's all right and I'm just gonna pull him in close and like hold him to me and start to go in my pack and just like look for water and rations and any kind of food that I can try to give him if he is conscious or if he's sleeping whatever just make him comfortable I'm not even worried about where my dagger fell I'm yeah not looking for it I'm solely focused on my brother and making sure that he's okay.

Yeah. So he does doze off a little bit, but he nuzzles into your chest as you do that. And his eyes kind of flutter back open, and they're tracking. They're tracking. It's like kind of when you're waking someone in and out of a sleep where their eyes are opening,

but they're not, they're there, but they're not really fully present. That's kind of where Milo is out right now. You can tell he's incredibly exhausted. You can't imagine what energy, even your knowledge of the arcane, what it would take to be turned into that kind of creature and then transmogrified back by what the crazy magic that you, or the magic that it had taken to empower that dagger

and then also to consume, as far as do in the chain God, and then to be turned back. But he takes the water, he sputters a little bit, you get some on your coat, but he does manage to kind of calm down, a little bit and he takes it and its throat is very dry but he he does seem to settle a little bit I'm not making any noise but there are silent tears staining my very dry desert stained cheeks I would have like hustled like pretty not like super immediately after Felix but like let him get his distance or sort of just I would be maybe like five feet back to sort of watching and letting them have that moment and

I think I would sort of turn like look around to see if I could see where the dagger did fall I would also be looking for the dagger trying to be sensitive to what I'm hoping is a happy story but not close enough to get a sense yet of what's going on with Milo You look around and I would say it's very easy to see This is a wide sand dune right You look and you see amidst the massive bricks of this ruined black pyramid You see the broken

a demonic egg. And then you see a glint of silver. And you see now that it is very close to a streak of blood on the sand as you approached Felix's Talangard blade. Very clearly, almost half submerged at this point in the sand sticking upwards.

And a mere father Five foot away. Holding it by the blade. What is wrong? Put that away. Annie, don't let him have things. Five feet away, you see a severed foot. The military boot of the High General. Blood strewn across the sand where it had landed. Just adjacent to both the knife and to the,

this broken egg? Yeah, the egg is probably a good, like, 30 feet away from that. Okay. But they're all kind of relatively clumped because of what had basically all just come out of Pazooza's mouth. You got it? Yes. I want to make sure it doesn't forget it.

I mean, there's a lot going on. Yeah. Yeah, and what do we do about this? And I'm taking my spoon and poking some of the broken egg shell. I'd leave that alone. Let's deal with the egg in a moment. We've got 14 fires. and that's but one.

I'll deal with the little girl. Iris, can you deal with the little girl? Richie can tell you nothing pisses me off more than someone to tell me to do something I'm already doing. It makes me want to murder. If you can just be in the match, thank you. It is so frustrating. I'll go to turn off the light, and Rich will be like, hey, can you get the light?

I'm like, yeah. I was literally walking here to do it. It's like one of those things where, like, deep down, I know it's irrational. And when Kelsey tells me something that I was going to do anyway, I have to stop and be like, okay, don't get mad at Kelsey. This is stupid. There's no reason to get mad at Kelsey.

She's just being helpful reminding you and you have to do something. But inside, you're on fire. Hey, Andy, don't forget to breathe, okay? Yeah, thanks. So growing up, spending my 33 years growing up with Rich, I guess has made me used to it. It's like, oh, you just told me a little bit thing. Okay, well, yeah, that's true. Why not?

You know? And I just, yeah. Iris, you see Valesca, and you had seen, although they had been split into, the Raven Child had grown into the Raven adult in that brief instant before Zern had split them. And they had fallen probably a good 50 feet or more away from each other. And you see that it was actually very fortunate that there is a massive black brick sticking merely a five feet from her. And she was lucky that she didn't get completely smashed. But however, there's a bit of sand on her on her legs. She's almost kind of half buried.

But she is just resting peacefully. You see her breathing. And you do very clearly recognize Velasca. in the sand. I just medically tend to her and talk to me. You make a medicine check for me, please. I'm a cleric, so it might be all right. pronounced Eric.

Your clerics not even close. Thank you. Too many TikToks, not enough time. 14. 14. Yeah, that's in my. I would say that kind of given that what Iris had witnessed in the vision,

that Valesca was very clearly, clearly had not been suffering the same level exposure and torture. That basically, once they got Valeska, they did the test, they were able to create the Raven Child. So she's not nearly as like emaciated and withered. She does seem to have marks from poking and prodding, cuts, whatever horrible, whatever testing they had to do, it was not pleasant. but she is, her throat is dry, and she is very weak, but she is stable. Unfortunately, you know for sure, we'll have to take all of the bone marrow. No. Is a syringe?

Yes. Yes, it was. So I'm sort of getting my... I rue the day Derek is a cleric in one of our camps. Yes, that would be quite unfortunate. I am getting my grip. I'm barely able to push myself through. No, she's a druid.

Farron's a druid. Exactly right. A druid of mold. It's hard to push my way through the sand. It's hard to know where Felix is emotionally. I'm confused about all of what I've just witnessed, but I'm starting to get my bearings. I want to scan the horizon.

And just like while everyone is dealing with these, smaller fires, be like, if they're an army coming, like, what's next? Can I get a sense of, like, are we... Is there anything left? Are we, are we, is everything just silent and sandy wind? And we're like getting our... Is the storm really continuing to die as well, or is it just kind of like most... Yeah, we'll say make a perception check. I just suppose I could. Actually, the mummy lord. Derek, please proceed. We killed the god. There's nothing left. It's strappy is the only thing left. You're gonna be.

If we're lucky. 24. Perfect. I would say that you look around and you recall that you had ventured very far into, you're in the center of the storm. You're in the eye of the storm, basically. And so it is dissipating. All you can see around you is sandstorm in all directions. However, you do see that with each passing, you know, I'll probably say you'll take a good, you know, several,

dozen minutes to kind of do this and rest and recuperate and see this, that the intensity is starting, is continuing to drop. And I'll say with that role, we'll also give it a little bit of intelligence of deduction, is that you get the sense that it's getting to the same level as the what you had experienced in the lower, the breath of the false, the other sandstorm that moves across the dread domain. It's seen the incredible supernatural, almost cloaking of the black pyramid that this storm had been doing

is now seeming to, that effect is starting to dissipate. The storm almost is dissipating as if it knows its purpose is no longer... Yeah, as if it's returning to a classic, a Haurakirian sandstorm, which is still crazy, high-fantasy dread domain levels. But it isn't shrouding the imprisonment

of a horrible god of unfathomable. entropy and disruption. I breathe a bit of a sigh of relief, and then I looked to sort of get a sense of who I can help most in this moment. Maybe I run to Toa to see how he's approaching Felix. Oh hey, I found a dagger. I guess we both found a dagger. Do you want to hold it for a little, but it's really cool?

Me? Yeah. I have a dagger. I don't think I've ever touched a hundred before. It's Felix is dead. Let's find out if he's all right. I want to let him have some time. You know how long he's been looking for Milo?

Do you think Milo's all right? I mean, when I pulled him from the ocean, basically I woke him up and he said, Milo was the first thing he ever said to me. That's how long he's been looking for his brother. Yeah. So I just, I don't want to interrupt anything, you know. And then forever in his memory,

he'll be like, oh, tow it barged in that one time. Let me just toss it right next to him so he knows it's there. Don't know. Don't know. Don't tossing the sin. This thing just saved the world, maybe. Well, that maybe is what I want to focus on after we have all come to rest.

You hold on to it. You're doing just a fine, not by the blade toa. I don't know I've never used the bladed weapon before. All right, maybe I should hold it. Fine. Thank you. I'll hold on to the blade,

and I'll just sort of watch and get a sense of whether or not Iris and Louvty are good and like I'm really still just catching my breath I know it's been maybe 10, 20, 30 minutes but it's just so overwhelming the experience emotionally of going through the memories and witnessing what we just saw.

Make a charisma saving throw as you hold the dagger. Oh, Jesus. Why not tell her? He asked for it. Probably because of his demon connection. Yeah, you think. Tell us pure of heart.

Yeah, me, me. 21. That's pretty good. Oh, God. It's not pretty good. You only explode a little. As soon as you hold on, as soon as you grip the blade, you realize that the, you realize that Titoa is handing it to you, that you've seen Felix's dagger before, and he's used it plenty of times, And it had that shimmering, treated silver sheen

that had been blessed by the Raven Queen well before he received him. But there seems to be an extra, a strange hue emanating. It's almost like when you look at it, it's like when you're looking at like a street light and it does the, what is that when you have like a stigmatism and it does the light thing? Refraction. A refraction, yeah. The light around it refracts very, very strong.

I'm seeing like I'm seeing like certain qualities of light that are hitting it. And then as soon as you grab it, you almost feel compelled to say something as your eyes. You almost feel your soul lurching.

And then you snap back to and you're just holding the dagger. I am the destroyed. Did I see any of that or witness? How much was physical and how much was like just in this head? Perception check. Uh-oh.

These are getting spicy already? 20. Oh, let's go. You saw Caprice close his eyes, and then he opened them. And you know that he has a black orbs with like a little, or a dark blue orb with a little kind of blue point. And they open, and they're literally just circular and white. And like lamps, like lanterns.

And then he for a brief moment. And then he closes them back again and he opens. And Caprice, you feel like that is different. as if like, oh, you almost don't remember that this happened with a 20 on your Christmas saving throw. Thanks, Tawa. Shit. Are you all right?

Why wouldn't I be? And his eyes are normal now? Your eyes just turned colors. Has that happened before and I just never noticed? I mean, I can minor illusion, like green, blue. I can also change my form factor. Did you just minor illusion or change your eyes intentionally? No, no, no.

Maybe it was just a reflection of a lot. I mean, look at this thing. It's really, it's really thrumming. I don't know what that means, really, but I guess it's magically. I think it's probably still either cooling down or charged up with whatever we did with it. It might be even more powerful than it was before. Well, if you feel strange anymore, just let me know, if you don't mind, It was a bit startling But I mean you seem fine now

So I don't I've continued to feel fine I mean aside from the fact that we just Witnessed all of those things And I died like five times in a road Because I was inhabiting stupid idiots It's a fair point Why would you jump on a basilisk?

I don't understand I still remember the teeth Oh, do you like feeling? It felt everything. Oh, no. You all felt it, yeah. Do you know what it's like to be caught in a pillar of flame and destroyed of warbly inside of a small antechamber?

Because I do. Well, I have to ask that, what does it feel like to be slipped in half by Hector Mancray? I was hoping you hadn't mentioned that. It wasn't so bad until it got to the spine. And then, you know, it was like... It was like breaking a pizza spaghetti, like dried pasta. But you're the pasta. It wasn't good.

I didn't like it. I don't know. I'm so sorry. It's all right. It's all right. I think we did the right thing. I think so, but I'm not sure. Does I look around and just everything? I don't really know what's going on.

Felix tells me what to do next. Yeah, we got a lot to talk about and figure out what's good and what's bad and what's next. Make sure that Felix gets this. I want to make sure that Iris doesn't need any help. You go. I'll monitor the situation. All right. And I want to hustle over to Iris and sort of look over.

Is she okay? I'll not. So she's alive? And not. I'm clearly focusing. Are you focused on a spell? No. just tending to her wounds.

Oh. I don't really know what spells I have because I wasn't here and most of my spells are checked off. You've probably long rested since. I would, Olin over, I just want to remind you

that we have her mother's hand in the bag of holding. Just in case, you know, this might be a good time or a bad time. I just heard that maybe if I cut off her hand I'm sorry you had to hear that, Valesca. Oh, is she conscious?

Please. Please just try to relax. My mommy's what? She starts having nightmares. I'm so sorry. Would you like me to present the hand to Vlaska currently? No, no. I just, someone told me that if I cut off her hand,

or maybe I didn't do, but someone cut off our hand, that maybe we could use it to bring her back. But maybe not right now, do her? Okay, I just wanted to remind you that it was in the bag. In front of her daughter. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't realize she was conscious, even slightly. Her eyes were open.

Please stop holding blades by the blade, please? I don't know. Go ask Felix what you should do next. Oh, okay, Felix. I turn and I just start slowly walking. Meanwhile, you're like drinking the egg soup. I'm like, for a while, a post. And then I got yoke on it. So I was trying to wipe it off in the sand, but that just got sand stuck to the yolk. And then I got bored with that. So I was playing it like the bass like from your memory. And why don't you make an archa chag for me, Luffy?

I've got nothing to that. Nine. This is a very strange. The egg is much larger than you would have expected, especially for the size of the bird that had come out. of this thing. And the sickening orange goo that's basically coating like all of these black eggshells is kind of, it smells absolutely putrid and foul. And it seems to kind of still be glowing with a strange, that strange orange color. But you can't really make out what it is or what it's doing. So the egg, is it intact or is it splatted? So the bottom half is actually is like relatively intact. So basically there's like a bottom like cup that maybe is like half broken off. And then there's just eggshells all, like pieces all over.

Okay. And nothing's in it? Oh, and so no, it's just the goo coating it. And it's just an empty eggshell. And this is the goo coating it. And it seems to be of that, that strange. The goo is the same color as that orange energy that had come out. and you had seen that strange, demonic crow creature

take shape. So that's what we saw Raoum break out of? Yes. Okay. Yep. We were here for the bird. Wait, and then so that flew away. Yes, so then basically this massive, like, bird demon, and then it shrunk back down into the little bottom half of the egg,

and then a crow with like a jagged beak and orange eyes with a four-stared pupil, flew out and fluttered away and basically just disappeared into feathers similar, the same way that Pizzuzzi had done. Got it. Okay. I got a little confused there. But it's still blowing a bit.

Yeah. Some fiend goo. Like Ivan U is from Power Rangers movie. Whatever you said, you're a heinous. Everybody. How's me? Great movie. That would be a great news segment.

How's the news with Ivanus? That's true. Oh, wow. Holy shit. We need to get on that. Yeah, we do. Ivana ooze. No, no.

No, no. Seeing 10, 20 minutes go by, seeing Lovti poking at the shell, tow is racing up, seeing that the girl is in good care of. Iris, all... Felix?

Hey Caprice. Hey. You all right? Ness or yo. Both. Kind of, we're alive. And I think we saved the universe, but also doomed it. And from what I can tell, your brother is okay?

Yeah, yeah. No, Milo's good. I, sorry, I'm a little, I'm at a loss of words, and I'm a little stunned. By this point, I've, I've, I've, I've scooped him up and I'm holding him in my arms to try to meet with you and then see wherever everybody else is. I thank you for asking. I'm glad you just found him.

He seems to be okay, just a little malnourished and we'll get him some, I gave him some water and when he wants to eat, we'll get him food. But he's sleeping, he's resting, but he's in one piece and he seems to be okay. Great. If you need, I can play a tune and give him some healing or anything. Do you think that would be help? help? I don't know what a state. Well, his...

Through all of his sense of humor is intact. So, I mean, that's a good sign. I don't know the extent of his injuries. Maybe you and Iris can work together on that. He's pretty banged up. I mean, whatever they were doing to him, whatever experiments are poking and prodding they were doing, straight up torture.

I can't even begin to imagine. No, I think I can I. I mean, aside from that brief glimpse that we got while we were journeying through the memories, He's had a rough time of it, and we'll get him to safety. Exactly, yeah. All that matters is that we found him, and he's all right. We've got to figure out how we're going to get out of here.

And probably soon, we're sort of in the middle of the storm, from what I can tell, and it's dissipating from legendary status to only epic. I've got to wonder if, now that there are a lot less powerful entities here, if travel in and out has been restored. How do we find out? I mean, I have some ideas about the magics that we might be able to use. I mean, we've talked about interplanar travel with the tuning forks and the residences and all of that and the music.

And I don't know. We'd have to have something of or, you know, a part of a ventrace's residence. Oh. Okay. We'll have to think on that. Yeah, let's, let's, I got Milo, let's see how the others are doing. Let's all just convene and take a minute. I, I, it's very tired.

It's all catching up to me. I think I'm out of water. Let's, let's go, and we'll walk to wherever I rest. As you turn, I'm just right there. Ah, oh, I didn't want to interrupt. Oh, it's okay. How are you doing, Felix? I'm tired, but I'm good.

Milo's okay. I finally feel like I can breathe. He looks so much like you. I don't know what I expected, but oh, after all this time, there he is. I guess I never really noticed it before, but yeah, I mean, we are half-brothers, yeah. Wow. Does he look like Zern at all? I would say that he's definitely smaller, although obviously he's very emaciated from everything that I had done.

He was, he's definitely small for his age at 13, but you can see that resemblance is to Phila, but very clearly like the shape of the nose is definitely stronger. And you can see the shape of the brow a little bit. There is very clear Zer, now that you know, there's clear Zerm resemblances as well. Wow. It sort of looks like a combination of you and Zer. Yeah, I mean, I, you know, it's... I just never noticed. Maybe I blocked it out, or maybe I assumed I didn't want to know.

I don't even know if Milo wants to know. And maybe you'll... I got to tell him now eventually, right? At some point we'll have that conversation, but, you know, maybe it'll bring in peace to know who his father was. Yeah, it's your choice, whatever you do want to tell him.

But when you teach him to make ice cream soup, can I listen to him to? I would really like to learn. It's really not as complicated as you'd think. Well, I'll take lots of notes and I'll commit it to memory. Sure, sure. Yeah.

So what do we do next? Well, I don't know. Right. Well, what about the thing you were just saying with the resonances and getting us out of here? Right, right. I mean, obviously, I've been... This thing is starting to smell.

I've been studying how to move between space, right? The teleporting. I mean, we've done that a couple times, and it's been fairly successful. Yeah, it's been good. In theory, and the way that the studying and the things have worked, it would just be teleportation between planes. Easy, easy, easy.

Right. You know, when we were back in Adventurus before we traveled to the plane of air, where your mother is, you know, we saw that machine that they were using, the alfell we were using to create the resonance that they needed to open up the portal or enact the travel. I can't imagine it's much different if we had some sort of an object that resonated with the prime material plane. Do you have a spell that once you have that, you can do it?

In theory, yes. But I've never done it before, obviously. I've never really left a ventrish before we went to the elemental plane of air. Where are all from Avantress? Why aren't we the objects? The spell, at least from what I understand, will...

Maybe consume it? And if it does, we certainly don't want to be concerned, any of our essences, that would be awful. Yeah, hands off my essence, please. To exist. Yeah. Is it the spell Plainer Shift?

Wow, Toa. My God. What are you in books I'm even reading? Because in that case, I think you just need something attuned to the plane. Yeah, it was more for dramatic effect. I've got a bit role. Back in character.

If it is something that gets consumed, I don't mind giving anything that I have. But it might be some kind of, it might need to exist for the purpose of being sort of a tuning apparatus or something. Right, almost like a key. Right. Think of it that way. Some way to open the door to get to the other side. I have an idea.

Let's go meet it with Arras. Hey, Iris. You walk past the eggshells and Zern's foot is like just right there. Oh, good. It's starting to get, like, buried. It's starting to slowly get buried by the sand. Should we give his foot a proper burial? Absolutely not.

I don't think so. Aren't there like, we can bring him back style thing we can do with heat like that? You have like a piece of like a toe or something with somebody? For what it's worth, I don't think his soul is exactly gone. I also am okay with not bringing him back. Should we take any of this goo? I've got a little on my spoon. Are you going to keep it there or should we like...

It's pretty dried on now. I don't know that it's coming off. I can put it in my flask and we could have some orange black shell nightmare goo. Anybody want to keep some? I don't know if we should be messing around with that stuff. It's interesting. I looked at it, but I'm not very, you know, magical. It is glowing.

Don't touch it and then touch your mouth or face or eyes or anything. Or genitals. Oh, geez. I will look at the... Do I, thinking as magically as possible, get a sense that this could have any value whatsoever, or is it really just viscera that is left behind from the truly powerful entity that emerged? Make an Arcana check for me. I would happily do that.

Here, I cannot be better than mine was. Let's go for a 26, please. It very clearly has some sort of lingering, fiendish, demonel. taint. And I mean, you're going to like that. And so I think that there... And so I think that you could... What you would do with it, I don't know,

or like what you would, it would be up to you. But very clearly, there is some sort of power or fiendish. It's not just... Yeah, as it can see, it's not just fear. You know, smarter men than me probably would say, Why didn't you grab the such and such? So I'm just going to... Make a...

This seems like a rare thing, right? This doesn't happen fucking every day. I'm going to take some. Make a sleight of hand check to see how careful you are. Oh, my God. Giffrey, I truly value your inquisitive nature. Do you twist it? True twist it?

No, I'm holding the talent, and I'm totally fine with it. So I'm sure that if I get intoxicated by this nightmare, if we fuel that everything will be fine with a nine. I'd like you to make you whiz and saving throw. Oh, God. Man, it's saving throw city over here. Your skull inverts itself and your outsides are now your insides.

11. Oh, God. You scoop. You're scooping, and you're getting a lot of this goo. I'm just scooping and scooping and be like, oh, you know, my finger. Without thinking. As you absentmindedly do that, as you hear in your brain that, and you feel an incredibly intense pain in your head.

And you think back, in a split second, you feel as if you think to all the things, you think to all of things that you've kept secret, all of the things that you've attempted to keep incredibly guarded, and the thing that you've even that you've revealed in your dealings with the Raven Queen, you feel incredibly naked now. You feel impossibly that incredibly vulnerable, incredibly naked, incredibly transparent, as if anything that you, your entire life, every single secret that you've ever harbored are no longer secrets, at least to you. You guys don't have to look at me like that. I'm just scooping it up. Are you all right? What's happening? What's going on with your face? You guys, you guys know, all the things about me.

That's all. I just, you know, never, never really. What is he talking about? I don't know, but I don't think you should be touching that anymore. Just finish up what you're doing, clean yourself up and get away from that stuff. It can't be good for you. Yeah. Stop touching your face. No, no, stop! No, they still get it. There's now like orange goo on his wrist, on his face. There's something in your hair.

When they do those like sneeze camera trackers? Yeah, yeah. Now it's on the food. Now it's on everyone's hands. Did I, do I get a, like a... No, you got like a very sizable vat of goo. It's like some Nickelodeon slime. I'll pop it into my bag and then I'll push my hands

and leaves into the sand and try to do my best to friction-free the goop, which almost certainly is a rough way. Yeah, no, now you just have sandy, goopy hands. Can you do the thing? Can you do the property? Can you do the thing? Yeah, I have since transferred Milo to my back, so I'm holding him like, yeah, like a peat-back ride. He's gripping, so yeah, very. And with a wave of my hand, I will press to digitate, or attempt to press to digitate this. I would say you are able to do that. It takes a good number of tries. It will just start to dissipate and fall off your flesh.

Oh, that reminds me. The dagger. I didn't see it anywhere. I didn't grab it. Oh, it's right here. I got it on my hip here. Covered and dew now, I'm kidding. Do you mind? I will warn you, it's extra thrummy. And I will take it up by the handle and then I will turn it. Christmas saving throw.

Natural 20. Oh, twist of dread. Twist of dread. Oh, that's beautiful. I won't claim one of your tokens. One in 400. One in 400. Well used, Mike.

Eight. You do not give it up, as you all see very clearly to what Toa has seen in a flash of the circular white eyes and then very he returns and you do not want you do not want to give it to felix i got out on my hip right here it's fine whoa whoa whoa what the hell's happening to you what was that i saw him do that

earlier what your eyeballs look i know you guys know everything about me i get it all right it's fine it's fine i'm still a good person i'm trying to do the right thing i i didn't want to keep secrets from you i swear is he the only one that touched the dagger i touched it did you react like that No, I even touched by the blade, which apparently I'm learning you're not supposed to do. And I was fine. It was just a PC. It was just a dagger. Right? I didn't feel anything, right? No. Caprice, I need my dagger back. I know, but perhaps a later time. We've got, you're carrying Milo. It could be dangerous.

What if his leg slips in his skin? Can you give it to me then? Take the dagger back. I'm very comfortable. I'm very comfortable. I got it by the best. He's going to reach down and I'm going to just take the dagger off his belt. If you resist. I absolutely would.

I'm sorry, Caprice. I'm sorry, Caprice. We can't let you have the dagger. What are you? It's a contest of acrobatics or athletics? Is this just athletics? Outstanding. This is great.

Organ, bad, if you're trying to slip out. If you're trying to dodge it. 15. 11 at my best. So, you know, I, I'm sorry I killed that from all. Thank you. Thank you. What are you doing, Caprice?

Do I feel different as soon as my body or am I going after? Do I suddenly feel like I need to possess this item? Ooh. One more Christmas saving throw. What the hell? Uh, 21. Wow. I would say that you feel

I don't know how to say this. You feel like Gallum. I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to say it. You see my mom. No other way to say this. And as you see as for a brief moment Capriese's eye, oh no, it's actually not

Gallum, it's Bilbo. I'm out of the rain. I should like to hold it again. Yeah. And so basically Caprice does that as he lunges forward and there's a flash. But once again, your sheer force of will

pulls you back knowing that this is Toa, this is my friend. I'm gonna hold it over my hand. I would try to like grab me, grab him by the jacket, pull back a little. I really want that. Maybe I should hold it. I shouldn't. I shouldn't.

Oh, God, I want it. Get a hold of yourself. Something is just, uh, not right, not right. Smack. Go ahead and take a smack, smack damage. You actually get flurrier blows to death. You get bitsyed. Like, glad.

What do you want it so bad? What is happening? I'm going to lift his eye, like pry his eyelids back and, like, check his eyes. I have no idea. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Make a medicine check.

I will look up. How far away is Caprice from me? You guys are all looking at. We started a walk to you. Yeah, so you're within like probably five to ten feet. Oh, okay. I'm just shoving my dirty, like, egg hands into his eyes, and I get a three.

A three? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he just looks like Caprice. Yeah, it seems fine to me, I guess, but chill out. I'm trying, I'm trying. I don't like this at all. Something's wrong with the dagger or Caprice or both. I feel like you should probably keep that away from me.

I suddenly, I didn't want to let it go. I don't know where that came from. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't feel that way. Should we all hold it and see if we feel the same way? I don't know if that's a good idea either. I'm getting, I'm a little apprehensive to even touch it myself. With your dagger?

I know. And unfortunately, I need it. Well, I'll keep you safe in case anything happens. I'll be ready to, like, restrain him with my hand on his shoulder. And you hold the dagger. And you look. And making our comic ticket advantage for me. Extra thrummy, though, right?

You keep saying that. It's thrum. 29? Let's fucking go. You can see. that you hadn't noticed before that it seems to be bloodstained. Oh. And it seems to have a strange refraction.

And although at first glance it looks like it's a pristine, clean blade, it seems to be that where the blade had split the flesh of the Raven Child infused with Thor's Dune, there's that strange kind of reddish-blackish, modelledness to it that you can see at first glance and it almost kind of gyrates and you almost and as you examine it, you listen, you can hear very faintly as you attempt to examine it with that role.

What's matter? There's something wrong with it. I mean, like seriously wrong with it. You just find me? Is it bent? horrific energy coming off of it. I can hear those whispers, like, deep in the back of my head. Is it because it's covered in blood? Maybe can you just try cleaning it? I attempt to clean it.

You're the thing. You're the thing. My hand gets blown off. You realize as you clean it. It's just your blade. And, like, it's only when you really focus on it. And you can just see what you... You can just only see the... the tanked and the blood, the sting on this blade,

the stained tape from what it should look like, from your knowledge of the weed. It's incredibly subtle. It is not coming out. It's been changed, like, fundamentally. It's not just like there's blood on it. It's like the blood is a part of it now. Oh, no.

Can you still use it? Again, I'm, like, hesitant to try. I mean, you need to do a lot of different spells, don't you? Yeah. Oh, no. Let me just... Just do something little. Just a little baby spell to start.

I'm tested out. I'm pretty tapped out. I mean, if you're hesitant, I'm happy to take it off of your hands. No, no. I'm not going to fall for that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Caprice, come here.

Yes, Iris. I'm going to reach up and touch his leg. I'm not even going to look at him. I'm going to cast greater restoration. Oh. Nice. Nice. That is nice.

How does that? Can you read that spell for me? It does reverse a cursed item attunement. So I'm hoping that it would reverse his inclination towards the blade. Can I hope the great? Includes all to a cursed magic item. Reduction to an ability score, reducing the target's hit point maximum, one effect that charmed or petrified the target. It could reduce.

their exhaustion level. It undoes a debilitating effect. Clever. Clever. I love clerics. Let anubis swatter over you, Caprice. And stop being so greedy. We have things to do.

I know. I'm sorry. I didn't, I don't know where that came from. As soon as Iris touches your leg, when you make a charisma saving through advantage. Ooh. Do do, do, do, do, do, do do do do do do do. Let me have a 23, porphabore. A 23.

As soon as that happens, you all see Caprice's eyes turn into circular white lamps, effectively. Oh, gosh. As Caprice, in a moment, you see a flash repeated visions. You see the blade, the Talenguard dagger that's flashing and it's now undulating the refractive biz that you had said is now, it's consuming it. You hear the, the, the, I'd also like to get rid of his stigmatism. Oh, you can't fix it too. You hear the, the babbling of Thar's doom just briefly. As you see, the blade and then suddenly surrounding the blade is black iron wrought. You see the shape of a scorpion, a crown.

And then you see that in a flash, it all turns to red. As it then your mind pans out as you see it all encased in a ruby. And in a flash, you are suddenly returned back to all of your friends. And that will, that desire to, that perhaps could have gotten you try to steal it very stealthily later on has now been removed from you. At least for now, in case we'll see what happens if you touch

the dagger now. Thank you, Iris. You're welcome. Please don't touch Felix's things. I probably should stay away from most magical items moving forward. Yes, that might be wise.

But if you find yourself in a similar situation. You know where to find me. I'm just going to sit down next to Iris and sort of like... Would you like a back massage? Do you give those? Sure. You'll do? Sure.

He's some to have gone something quite strenuous. And I will... I'll say no. You say, okay, maybe in like five minutes and I'm busy, but soon. But it's never soon. Yes, that's true. And I will... I will not retract my claws.

I will actually push them forward, and I will start massaging into his back claws out. That's okay. It's good. It's good. Do you like this? I was towed back home that I give the best massages. Who told you that? Oh, everyone. Right there. That's good. Of course, I'm the princess.

And that's what we'll do. Velasca, you're able to place down gently. I would say if you want one and two of like kind of make up like a little makeshift camp in this time. If you want to, that's fine. You're able to do that very easily. I make a baby Bjorn and just strap her to my chest while I am massage. Isn't she an adult woman, though?

Veleska? Yeah. She's a little girl. Oh, my palms. Oh, no, the bird. It was a little small bird. I learned misunderstanding. Oh, I completely thought that Velasca had suddenly become an adult woman big style with Tom Hanks.

That would have been quite the twist. You see Tom Hanks in the sand, and this campaign is completely changed. I completely missed that. Yeah, apologies. No, Alexa's still a child. Bjorna. And I need you to make, I need you to make one intelligence check for me just straight as you, as you get the massage and as you ruminate back on the Bavlin. I imagine I'm putting things together with a seven.

Oof. Nope. The babbling just sound like Bavlin. Cool. Yeah. Towa, hold Milo for a second. Oh, okay. Come me, buddy.

Tell it, by the way. Is he conscious? He's like in and out of consciousness, and, um... And he, uh, says, um, you're a rock man. Yeah, I'm 40% rock. Very good. Well, just take it easy.

Just relax. You have a lot of recovering to do, but I've got you, so don't worry. And I'm just going to, like, I'm going to cradle him and be as gentle as I can. All right. I, you know, I wonder if, you know, whatever Zern turned into and flew off as, I can only assume that it's of, you know, the big guy that we don't want to talk about. I got to wonder if now whatever he did to split the kids apart is now reacting with, you know, your blood and legacy. Right. I'd speculate it has to do with

why I'm no longer burning in a pit of hell anymore. Would Toa be smart enough to connect the eyes with the eyes of Asmadae? And to listen check. You have a pin on your jacket that says, I love Andy. There we are. I roll the neck full of.

Do we ever see him? Yeah. We saw him, right? Yeah. You saw the shadow, the silhouette of him. He appeared. in Rajani's chamber after Caprice was resurrected. Okay. I didn't know if you had just, if he had just been described to us or if he actually like physically saw.

We saw like the silhouette with the eyes and the horns going out. Okay, okay. The spiraling goat horns. Yeah, that is. You got one? Yeah. All right. Stay here. Give me one moment. And I'll ready the dagger

in my hand like I always do. And I'd like to concentrate and in a flash. Missy step 30 feet away and try to fire off a fireball. Okay. Just like out into the desert. Goodbye, Stripon. The chat will kill you if you do that, though. I can just be aware.

I'm expending two stealth slots to see if I can make the knife work. And I'm specifically using fireball because it required material components. I need you to roll two D-100s. Do two D-100 rolls. You're going to come out of the other side of the missy step looking like a cronin. Can you imagine? And then I just rip up my character sheet.

The Galaxy Quest Teleporter thing. The jaunt from Stephen King. I'll give you one second. I'm going to get, because I have different colored D-100 so I can roll both at the same time. Ooh. Yeah, no, fancy, huh? It is fancy.

Here we go. Can we pump the jams a little bit? Oh, yeah. Okay. If it matters, the order, red is first and yellow. It's second. Okay. 81 for red

I think that was a zero oh shit and a 100 and a 100 okay both both go off without a hitch you

blast forward and you blink forward and you send these fireballs and you know it seems you can every time you use it to cast a spell I will say you're the so I definitely get a sense that something is not right

absolutely yeah you you and after that I would say that, and from the colors and the energy, this is very clearly tainted by the blood of Thars Doom. But your spells work. So they would see me like blip away 30 feet and then a p. And you see a charred camel.

No, don't do that to me like. No, the sand is trying to molten glass. The camel is giving the thumbs up. It's no one too. After the spells go off, I will just slowly start to walk back towards the group and take my time getting back to them. You're taking Shrapon back to a ventriss, and that's going to create a whole world of problems. You can go try to find them. Why? Because one of his breaths could kill 40 comiters.

That is, the next campaign I run, Strapon's the BBET. Great, I'm there for it. Yeah, I just take my time to get back to them. Okay, that's a short walk. I blinked 30 feet away. Yeah. Oh, it works! Well, something's definitely wrong with the dagger.

Like, permanently wrong. Oh, no. Why? It worked. You know, you blinked. You're over there. It worked, but every time I cast a spell, I heard that horrible whispering and gibbering.

So it's not just me. I guess not. No, you're just mentally weaker than Felix is. No offense. Well, I mean, maybe, but. I don't know. I might have just gotten lucky. I hesitate to even cast my spells. Who knows what could happen if I keep doing it over and over again and keep getting exposed, that horrific babbling. How long, how much could my brain take? So, okay, just take it easy. There's no need to panic. We just need to find a way to get out of here. Maybe it's just because we're in this horrible place. Maybe when we get back to a ventress, it won't be that way.

I mean, maybe. There's no way to know. Did you tell us about the blood you saw in it? Yeah. Or maybe it's because that thing was used to cut the two children apart, and it is now infused with the blood of the raven child at their height, and it will be eternally a cursed item. And that's certainly a other option.

We need to find a way to get a new spell focus for Phoenix. Or maybe we wouldn't, like, clean that one really well, like a, like a, like a, like a mystic clean. Mr. Clean. We need Mr. Clean. Do you mean major clean? Major clean? I, I love that. We could do a whole shopping episode. We could go back to Adventress. We could go to different cities. We use a major clean on temples all the time.

I've always heard of those. I really like the magic erasers. I feel like that's exactly what we need is just a magic eraser. It is the way that we clean the hydroglyphs. Nothing gets them more clean. But it's still. gentle. It's they're majorly clean. I really want to buy at least... And if you wet them, you can get Sharpie out of anything. That's really impressive. Yes. Hey, that's almost impossible. As long as I can spend three to four hours buying as many tiny little mirrors as

possible. Yeah? At least five or six hundred. I think I'd be good. I don't think that's enough. What do you need five or six hundred mirrors for? I don't know. I've always just wanted five or six You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you. That's great. Don't you. Don't you. I don't know.

Don't you. Don't you. Don't you. Don't you. No, I just, I don't know. I thought they'd be cool. So I can look at it and take them around, you know, in a bag. Wouldn't they all just break?

Oh, I guess I didn't think about that. And then if you trip and fall on the bag, you'll be impaled by the shards of 500 mirrors. If you imagine how much bad luck that would be? I was going to say like 32,000 years of bad luck. Yeah. Oh, that's a terrible idea. Oh, sorry. I won't do that at all then.

Just keep, you know, one reasonably sized mirror that's good for travel. Yes, exactly like a compact mirror that you can open up and look at yourself. We take the mirrors, and then when we're fighting a bad guy, we throw the mirrors to them, they break the mirrors.

They're the ones who's fucked with bad luck. That's actually a brilliant idea. That's a big set. If breaking mirrors, actually brings bad luck, and I don't think there's any signs behind that at all. There's only one way to tell, and I do have a silver mirror. I think, Caprice, you have enough bad luck without the breaking of a mirror. Yeah, you've got, like, the worst bad luck I've ever seen out of anybody I've ever met.

Yeah. But the point still stands. We need to find you a new focus. Yeah, you're right. There's a chance that this will never undo itself. I mean, I can't imagine focusing my magic through anything else, though. that was important to you for certain reasons. What's important to you now?

What's something that makes you think of Milo? Or all you've accomplished, or your mother. Wow. Something with heavy emotional weight. That's a big decision. I don't know if I could just like jump right into it. It takes some time to think about it. We don't need to get you a new focus right now. I don't think we're teleporting out of here this evening.

Right. I think we at least could use a night's rest. Yeah, and in the meantime, I'll just go easy on using my magic. So let's not get in any, you know, tussing. We should really allow the children a night to recuperate. So I'm thinking temple full of wonderful bathwater and delicious food. Oh, thank God. I forgot about that.

I was like, we're going to sleep on these bricks. Can we just do it like kind of away from all of this, like the egg at least? I would hope that we would maybe walk a while until none of this incited. Yeah, I could maybe use a good walk to clear my head a little. Not too far, just far enough away from the ink. Because if I make bread in water now, it will be demonic yokey bread. Yeah, we don't want that. It feels disrespectful to leave his foot like that.

I really think we should bury it. Would you like to mummify it? And carry it around in a sack, and then when Milo's awake, say we have the petrified foot of your father. Like we didn't have Velasca. Oh, sorry, Velasper. So go back to sleep on him. It's a lot of his chin, too. Now, we should definitely just leave it.

The desert will take care of it. And besides, he's not even really dead. It will feed one of the creatures that wanders around. He made us the wings of the raven, you know? He made us who we are. He did a lot of things. He's also a liar. But he saved the world.

Maybe. Potentially. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. He bought us some times, really, what I think, happened. Or he could have left well enough alone I guess he kind of got double crossed by you know, P-Man

Who would have seen that coming? No, we certainly didn't But the point is... Why didn't we see that coming? Well, I think we... We did see it coming. Oh, I didn't see it coming. We were being sarcastic.

You're perpetually drunk, so... Well, that's no excuse. What? I think we leave it. Maybe a vulture or something will come around and peck at it. That seems very appropriate. Yes.

It does. Why? I think he means with concerns and, you know. I think we allow nature to run its course on this one. And yeah, maybe it balances them out. Can we tell if it, like, what side foot it was? Uh, his right foot. What side arm was he?

Left. But we re-grew that. You know. Well, okay. Basically, I'm not taking that. foot. That's all I have to say. Yeah, let's just start walking and put as much distance between us and this place as we can. Okay. What place should we walk? North? Yeah, I don't really care. Why don't you pull out your map, Caprice, and figure out where we're at.

Tell us where we should go. No, I think we should start walking south because we know that at least the rest of the dread domains in that direction. All right, so we'll go south. And maybe we can flag down the phoenix, the sphinxes. The sphinxes, maybe. The shy mixes. The shy mixes. That's right. Yeah, South is fine by me. I don't need a map to know what fucking South is. It's that way.

Are you sure? Well, if the sun comes up and well, it's straight up. It's like perfectly new. Where are we? Here. Are you sure? If we go south, we'll either go this way or that way. Those are completely opposite directions.

Well, I don't know if the map was upside down or not. You wouldn't label the top of it map? You didn't bother to put a compass rose on the map when you made it? You totally scooped us out. I just put the landmarks down. We were flying. It was really windy. It was hard.

Yeah, you were really in a hurry. Let's just watch. Whatever direction we want to go in. It's fine. Well, the direction that you think is sound. is the direction we should go. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com

slash legends of Aventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high scenes, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy

of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Your friends are able to guide you south. And you, I would say you walk for several hours and finally you are able to get out of the sandstorm. You leave it behind you. And it is only probably another 30-minute, hour-long walk to reach that shaded rock formation where Felix had teleported you all here,

who knows how long ago. It's difficult to tell in this strange domain, not to mention so close the Black Pyramid and Thar is Dune. And I would say that you're exhausted. To press on any further would require an exhaustion role, but if you're willing to stay the night, you're able to make camp. You see the...

I would say that across the whole dread domain, as you come out, this is a bit of on a higher elevation, you see very far in the distance the tip of me now flattened tip of Pharaoh's rest the Great Golden Pyramid. It's like a worn down, no. The Great Golden Pyramid and Pharaoh's Rest. And there seemed to be a cloud,

a lot of activity, clouds of flying undead creatures and the like. There does seem to be activity. You see some of the creatures of the desert, some shambling undead, but they seem to pay you no mind, as you're able to make a help. You care too. We do care too. Can you make the thing?

Please make the thing. I'm so tired. I can't even remember the word for it. My boots are full of sand. Yes, yes, I make the thing. You... Oh, thank God, the thing. And it's like a fucking cave of wonders, it rises out of the sand, but it's a beautiful temple to Anubis. It doesn't look particularly out of place in this dread domain.

It's the first time we've made it here. Yeah, it is. The only thing that looks different, it's not quite to the same mass of scales, everything here and Harukh here, and it seems to be a lot. And it's, it's not nearly as, uh, what's in the shame. It's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, uh, iris is not compensating. It's been turned 90 degrees, so it's just a big cube that comes out of the ground. It's not nearly as weathered and worn as everything here in this dreading. It's immaculate. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a Sacculence, pristine. And you see the glorious temple to Anubis before you.

This looks like the best thing ever. I can spell the incense. Oh, we can take a bath. Yes. Yeah, I'm going to soak for a while and think about our predicament. I'm going to take the bathiest bath that ever bathed. All right, Milo. We're going to spend the nightmare, so I'll make sure that you have a nice,

warm, comfy bed, and I'll let you down and make sure that, I mean, unless, I mean, Phoenix, should I give him to you? No, that's fine. We'll find a place to put him, and I'll keep an eye on him, and we'll just get him food and water when he's filling up to it, and just keep an eye on him. I got a lot of studying to do anyway. Okay. Let's go.

I think honors has to open the doors, right? The rest of us don't have access? Or is that a thing? I forget, remember. I just, when I cast it, I determine who can utilize it. Yeah, there's a lot of it. Yeah, I did, yeah. If you walk in, we're just...

falling at the door. No, there's no, there's no, there's no gate. It's just like this beautiful archway, and there's, they're like, a open courtyard up to this temple. It's very beautiful. As soon as you step across the magical threshold, the temperature becomes exactly, it's perfect. It's way less air in.

It's very pleasant. There's a, it's like a really nice, like, 73 with a slight breeze. Wow, perfect. Perfection. I will find because there are rooms. They're like little bedrooms. Yeah, no bedrooms.

I'll find a small room and I'll lay Milo in a bed. I'll put all my stuff down with Milo in the room, but I'm going to take the dagger and wrap it up in cloth and keep it like in a pocket somewhere. I don't want to be wearing

it out and open anymore. I want to Like, I'm worried about this thing. So I wrap it up in some cloth and then just keep it on my person at all times. Yeah. Yeah, you do that very easily. And as you wrap it up in cloth, you kind of hear the... And then it dissipates and then it's quiet. Should we put Veleska in a different room?

Well, yes, probably. I'm sure she would like her privacy. Do we all have her own room? Is it like key vets to her room? Yeah, sure. Oh, that's what we are. Sharing with you. I mean, it's a temple.

You just sleep for you more. I'm sleeping in the back. Wow, there's a ball pit. The trampling, you need to be bouncing gas. Oh, is there a slipping slugg? Well, it's not a magic magnificent man. So it's not like it's tailored to like every possible need we have, but they're similar. So there are places for you to sleep.

There are places. There's food to eat. Bringles. I'm going to find like a buffet table. grapes and whatever else. There's hummus, hummus, of course. I'm going to drag it over to one of the

pristine pools. Kick the legs out from the table. They're wooden skewers of this beautiful yellow chicken and piles of saffron rice. A delicious cold yogurt sauce.

You enjoy that by the pool, lofty. It's vaguely, but it's very better. It's very much. It's not even vaguely. It's not even vaguely. It's like super Mediterranean. What are you?

I want to find a, you know, hot spring, bath place, whatever, and soak in it and just set the dagger wrapped in cloth on the edge of the tub or this spring, whatever would be in the temple, and just soak and soak until I'm mostly proved. Okay. Yeah, you're able to do that. It's incredibly relaxing. You all haven't had a chance to breathe in a very long time. a very long time. And I Twitch says lies, it's all fancy beasts. Oh no.

It's actually just that's a gigantic can opener on the side. I mean, the protein per ounce is just unbelievable. Highly energizing food. That is so funny. Just a tin can. It's hundreds of tin cans. I'm thinking he's like, giant. Oh, yeah, one massive to eat meat pit.

electric can over there's a heavy cream fountain for you to just laugh up. Hope you not lactose intolerant. I'm going back to the rice room. The Mediterranean room. There's a giant cracker like Aristocats. Oh, that's so funny. I fill up and I join everyone else in the, what I can only assume is like an open bath area.

Yep. Beneath the palm trees and the night sky. As you settled under the tub, I moved the dagger to the other side of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, good. It's not that I don't trust you, it's for your own safety. No, I don't trust me. That's fine. Do you? I'll get in as well.

And I'll, like, fold up my towel and I try to put it behind. We should just do this every night, Arrest. Like, can you do this every night? Well, yes, but then I wouldn't have access to some of my strongest abilities. Yeah, this feels pretty strong to me. I kind of agree. But I mean, no, we should use it to like protect and save, you know, kill evil things. But I mean, if, you know, if stress, stress is so evil, we should kill it.

That's true. Stress is the leading killer of most people in the United States. What? I don't know. I made that statistic up. It sounded really good until you feel it with a fictional thing. Yes, well, I've read the name in a book somewhere. I'm still not quite sure how to spell it.

Stottes, or to pronounce it Stottes? Stottes. Yes, oh, it's probably United Stottes. Oh, United. Oh, united. Of course. United Stattes. Oh, it's a strange and mystical place. I'm sure it's a dread domain of some kind. Yeah.

That fits. So, I mean, have you hit from Anubis at all since all of this happened? I don't know. You're like, what's up with that guy? Have you like he's been asleep for the past few days? Has Iris heard from Anurisdol? No, he was like, hey, I'm going back to fucking our I'll see you.

He's like. He's probably recuperating. Well, I'm just thinking about the Sphinxes that serve him, you know? The Shynxes? The Shionixes that serve him. They're probably dead.

Why? Why do they think they would be dead? I don't know. They sounded kind of ominous, almost like once our mission is over, we will cease to exist. Or maybe I just imagine that in my own brain.

That's not the impression I got at all. Well, I can't see what they're worth would be now that Anubis isn't here anymore. Well, you're not flying would be cool. Sure, but lots of things can fly. You want to fly? Flies can fly. I mean, a priest can fly.

No, you just settle down. Maybe take rest. I am resting. Uh, Nikki, the temple allows you to determine, like, beasts, like types of creatures that can enter, right? What are you allowing to enter? Just ask. Okay.

Get fucked cars beyond our confidence. Right? Oh, and us and Dreddome. I was going to say and Strapon. Strapon could enter the temple if you wanted to.

And, well, what kind of beast are Shynixes? I think they're just monstrosities? Yeah, I don't want to let monstrosities, unfortunately. They can wait outside the gate.

Well, I mean, I think that they can enter, I think I just hold on. You can name them. Yeah, you can name them. I mean, I could name them. If only I remembered through me. Beavis and Butthead. I'm sure it's in here somewhere. Cleetus and

some folks will never lose a toe, but then again, some folk will like Cleis is black john y'gull. What the hell? Am I in this, Biden? Yeah, only you and the creatures you designate when you cast a spell. can open or close the door. So you could designate Chopin and the two phoenixes. The temple opposes types of creatures you choose.

Choose one or more of the following. Celestials, Elementals, Fae, fiends, are undead, all of them. If a creature of the chosen type attempts to enter the temple, that creature must make a Christmas saving throw and a failed safe and can't enter the temple for 24 hours. Even if the creature can enter the temple, the magic here hinders it. Oh, so that's the point. Got it.

So they can still enter if they pass. Well, so no. So basically what it's saying is only the people that I allow can enter it. But like let's say I said, oh, the sphinxes could come in, but they're celestials. When they try, when they open the door because they're celestial, if I've said celestials can't come in, they have to roll for it to see if they can still enter. Does that make sense? It seems like you enforce your way in. If people can designate to open the door or close them.

So it says only you. and any creature you designate when you cast a spell can open or close the door. Okay. But if the door's open and they try to walk in, they have to make the spell safe. And if they pass, they can come in, but they're still hindered no matter what. Yes. And so then it says...

No, it's not, Mike. So even if the creature can enter the temple, the magic there hinders it. Hindered in what way, yeah. Whenever it makes an attack roll an ability check or a saving throw inside the temple, it must roll a D4 and subtract the number rolled from the D-Pong. Yeah, it's bained, basically.

Yes. That makes sense. Bain. That makes your room won't get in. But if the door shut, they can't even attempt to get in. Right. So. Did you remember to shot the door?

In addition, the censors created by divination spells can't appear inside the temple. Creatures within can't be targeted by divination spells. Whenever we gain hits points inside of it, we regain additional hit points equal to our wisdom modifier. So if we were like fighting in here and had like healing, rolling... It is made from opaque magical force that extends into the ethereal plane, thus blocking ethereal travel into the temple's interior. Nothing can physically pass through the temple's exterior. It can't be dispelled by dispel magic.

An anti-magic field has no effect on it. A disintegrate spell destroys the temple instantly. Oh, geez. I'll be careful. That's good to know. This is awful. Let's all vow not to read our spells to Mike ever. I don't know about any of that.

So this is so pleasant. Yeah, we're good. I feel great. I love what Ready to Nap says. Hey, did you guys order pizza? I'm letting them in because we ordered a pizza. You realize you let the door open and then you see a skeleton. We don't know what.

We don't get for this. So I guess we need to figure out how to get home. I mean, I like the idea of you teleporting us home. Yeah, I'm like flipping through my book above the water. The water's like up the chest level. I'm flipping through. Well, from what I understand, if, you know, this is, I mean, it's basically exactly the same as a teleport spell. So, I mean, it shouldn't be a problem at all.

Really, it's the question of the material components that are going to be required, I guess. But ultimately, if we know of a teleportation sigil, the sigil sequence, you know, which we do, we've got several that we know of, we can go directly to it, and it basically guarantees our arrival. So it's not even like me blindly pointing through space and time like I have been with the teleport spells. If there's a place we want to go, like back to Zentra or anywhere that we know of a known teleportation sigil sequence, then we're good to go.

So you have to use your knife? Well, I can also cast this spell. Oh, we should let her do it. No offense. You're probably really good at it, but, you know. Mine is slightly different as the power is gifted to me by the celestial. being. Yeah, and you know, I don't want his brain to explode. You don't know what's going on. A god. Yes, a god. Anuvus.

In case you were wondering. We know. Name drop, right? We've become very tight recently. No cap. You can, for real, for real. FRIFRA. You're basically as number two at this point. I mean, I didn't want to say the chat loud, but...

I don't think that there will be... Personally, it's not something I've ever done. I don't really feel comfortable with it. it. I've never done a teleportation magic at all, so I would prefer if Felix is the one that doesn't. And Anubis is very tired. I don't think he will, is the thing. He's incredibly smart.

Much smarter than you. I think in either scenario, we still need a small metal tuning fork that's worth at least 250 gold pieces. If something if something happened, absolutely last resort, I could

potentially do this magic. Last resort. Felix is really our first choice. And I say this simply because he has teleported us from space to space. Yeah. I know he can do it. I get easily distracted and I don't want any of you to show up there without a head.

Regardless of who casts a spell, it doesn't have to be a metal tuning fork or is it the musical resonance that matters? It is a metal tuning. Yeah, the spell component says a small metal fork that is attuned to

the plane that you want to go to at least worth to I assume there's going to be some cool DMViat involved. Do we know the tone that we need to hit? Can we make a fork? I can tune it. Oh, no. Don't you have a magical lucky tuning fork? No, I don't. Thank you. Yes, if you remember, it was destroyed. Yes, I was being guided by Glaccia in order to steal a powerful magical item,

and it was destroyed during the time. If you want to go back and unpack that shit, I seem to be doing the same shit over and over. It's a long shot because anubis is probably tired But I could attempt to channel my connection with my with the divine to see if he would Bestow upon us a fork to return home It's very very very low chance like I'd have it to hit 16 or below on a scale of 100 But it's worth a shot and then if I could do that

Felix could then send us home in the morrow. Yep, and the good news is, once we have it, we'll have it forever. Provided nothing happens to it, and if we, for some reason, find ourselves away from a ventrace, we have a way home. Hmm. So where do we want to go? To avatrice? No, I know, but more specifically. I mean, we could go to Nekbed. Oh, I could meet. I could, oh, you know him already. I could introduce you to Daddy. Oh, that really. We could go on a barge down the river. I could

So we can go anywhere, anywhere that we want. How often can you cast this spell? Oh boy, uh, like one time a day. Every single day we could go to a new place. We could go to Galctica. No, but we could go to Siket. Just keep in mind if we're not aiming for an actual teleportation circle that we know of, there's room forever.

Well, I've seen one before, but I'm not really allowed in that area of the temple. Is error like we show up like, you know, 100 miles away from our destination, or is error like we show up 100 miles underneath our destination? And so this is why Felix has to do the spell. Maybe both. So, I mean, I think we shouldn't forget the fact that, you know, Pazoozu assumed an elder, ancient god of chaos and entropy. And there's now, who knows where, you know,

there's like a solstice of some kind, and he wants to end the world. world with all of his deep buddies, one of which is kind of a cool whale. You know, that's kind of cool. But other than that, I'm also a bit concerned about what's going to happen to Zentra. I mean, like, their leader's gone. Oh, yeah.

Corvacia might just fall into absolute chaos. What if you could be the new heart general? No, no, no, that's, I'm, I'm, first of all, I defected. And first of all, Felix belongs to us. Well, I just mean, like, we need him. In case he needs to like other people around. to do something. He orders us around all the time. And I'm not even in the military anymore.

For all they know, most of them probably think that I'm a horrific trader and deserter. I know that Zeris is more than enough trouble. He doesn't need all of Zentra to worry about. Well, if it's like, you know, if it's like being a chief from where I'm from, then Marla would be the next hard general. I mean, well, it doesn't work like that here, but that's a great point. He's just a little boy. He's he only 12? Was it? 13. 13. Oh.

Close enough. Wow. What's 365 days? But then we could maybe puppet model from the shadows. All right. Now you're just getting way off the rails here, all right? What if P-Man went to Zentra? We really didn't come up with a better name.

What if Mr. Peepie went to Zentra? Might the only one here in this? What about Triple P? to your point What if we call him Pizzle? Oh, I like that one. Because there's a Z in his name. Yes, that's kind of nice.

Pizzled. No, that's a little too close. Let's just call him Pizzle. Does anyone in the city know that Zern has done when he's done and that it's no longer Zern? I mean, how could they? So if A Zern showed up, they would all trust him. Are you trying to be a Zern?

Yes, exactly. I mean, why wouldn't they? No. I don't have any reason not to. I'm saying we don't know where Mr. Beepie went and... Yeah. We're calling him Pizzle now. Oh, Pizzle.

I don't like any of these things. Then you come up with a better one. I don't... I'm sorry. I'm just very distracted. I apologize. Continue. It's the sim sense. It makes everyone a little walking. Did anyone notice the water got a little bit warmer just now? Why would you say that? Because the water got a little warmer just now.

Did you just piss in the water? No, I didn't. Did you? It's already hot tub level and it's hotter. Did it just get colder? Lofty. I am hot-blooded. I'm devil-blood. I mean, I guess it's hard to make a decision without really knowing what's going on, you know?

Can we somehow spy on P-Man and, like, see what he's doing? I'm highly doubt that. But let's go back to Caprice's theory. you want to try to disguise someone as Zern and send them into Zentra in an attempt to what? No, I was speculating. Do people in Zern know that, in Zentra, know that Zern is dead.

And anyone could assume the role. What if we get back to the city and Zern is there? And we're like, oh my gosh, it's Mr. Peephe. Pizzles, whatever his name is. Oh my gosh, it's him. And everyone's like, nah, it's cool. Look, everything's fine. I feel, and I might be wrong.

But most leaders of state will have magic wielders at their disposal with things like true sight and things to be able to discern deceptions. It would be absolutely ridiculous to have someone leading an entire portion of a country and so easily deceived, you see. I don't know about that. I feel like if I showed up as Zern and the people who are supposed to be my trustee, magic spellcasters came up to me and they were like, all right, let's do the zone of truth thing, and let's do the truth sight thing. That would feel weirdly reversed.

Use your magical energy elsewhere. Well, normally with true sight, for most entities, it's not something you cast, you have it. I have an idea. What if we call him pisel-dizzle? It's kind of like razzle-da-zell. Does he make you feel razzle-dazzle? I don't know.

He's kind of him. I mean, only he's not oppressive. I mean, I guess he makes me feel Pizzily-Dizzly. It's just, you know, better than just Pizzle. You know, Pizzle-Dizzle. Well, that's why we call him Mr. Pizzle. It sounds like we should put down a puppy pad for him. What's a puppy pad?

No, it's like a little pad that puppies pee on. Why don't they just pee in the sand? Because they're puppies. They don't know yet. It sounds like he's a puppy that doesn't know where to pee yet, when we call him Mr. Pizzle. The Pizzle Dizzle fix his old. Give them the old Pizzle-dizzle, Pizzle-B-W-W-W-W-W-W.

I don't think that fixes anything, Dull. But thank you for your contribution. But you know, after Capri's sang that song, I do, I like it a little. How can they see with Pizzle in their eyes? Sorry. It's a very relaxing bath. He seemed inspired at the very piece. That was a really great question.

I don't know anybody would see what you. is all in their eyes. Front back, that's my background. Razzle dazzler? The razzle dazzler? Yeah. Yes, sure. We'll call him the old pizzledizzle.

I feel like, you know, wherever he is, he could be doing untold horror damage in catastrophe. Yes, that's true. He could be, you know, the world might be over and maybe there's no adventuress to go back to. Like, maybe we're just sort of fine here. And so we can't spy on him, but maybe we can spy on people that we think he might be able to. people that we think he might be with. I do have some of Zern something or other, don't I? We left a whole chunk of fuck back there.

Oh, fair enough. You should have grabbed that fucking chunk. At least pulled a toenail. Did you grab it though, or do you leave it? I laughed at. Oh, yeah. We're not touching that. For what it's worth, I...

I'm sure it's gone by now. I do think that Zern bought us some time. I don't think we're going to get back to advantage of some things are going to just be over. I think we have some time. I don't know how much, but I think that whatever he had planned, at least succeeded in some regard. And it might take, uh, izzle-dizzle a moment to recover from his transformation.

I mean, he can't just immediately race into his next step, whatever his next step may be, right? He got very sick and he threw up an egg. It was gross. I twitch is on fire today. Pizzle-Dizzle is only viewed behind a paywall. Exactly. right? Subscribe to us on Patreon if you want to see the Pizzle Dizzle.

Just kidding. We don't hear the real Pizzle Dizzle content. I think it's TOS. Um, well, maybe we just have to just pick a pick somewhere. You know, learn from there. Our food's here. Oh, ha. Hot damn. You can keep role playing. Oh, yeah, I can. I can keep this going. We can't talk. I'm just gonna, I just, I can't focus on anything other than the fact that I see a picture of our front stoop and there's food on it. So, Squirrel bangle?

I hope not. That school's been like literally living under the stairs ever since. Like, hmm, when's food gonna be delivered? We know, excuse me. I wrote down, I gotta find it, at least two. Zentra and Austin Garden. We have that Austin Garden. Our two TP circles that we wrote down.

But they were on scrolls. And we used one of them. And I believe it was to go to Austin Guard. Yeah. So we do, in theory, know the sigil sequence for the Zentra. Where is Austin Guard again? It was the outpost. That was on the front line when we were crossing up.

Oh. Yeah. So that's how you guys got to Skethrenel. Yeah. Yeah. Skethron. I mean, look, you know, it's not like we even have any plans to stay in Zentra. But it would be a place that we know we could go.

And we wouldn't immediately stick out because it's a big city, and it would give us a chance to kind of assess the situation. Well, let's think about where do we think that he would have gone. That seems like a logical place, right? I mean, maybe. We don't even know what he's going to do to bring about the apocalypse. Right? That's true. We don't know. There's no way to know what his next move could be.

What exactly did he say when he flew away? Do we remember? He basically... The Apocalypse! Now to go back to Zentra! He did not see that. Never catch me, good do us. He did say that the eclipse was coming, the end of...

The end was coming, basically. It was like already, we can't stop it. Yeah. It's in motion. Basically, Zerun has only just delayed the an element. He could have gone back to the castle. Escher. He didn't he ally with... with Mr. Peepie for some time.

His name is Pizzle Dizzle. I don't think we've really settled on anything. It's whatever we want it to be. You know, as long as it starts with a P, I'm into it. I think I'll call him like. Let me rewind. Oh, I forgot to mention my idea from earlier. What's that?

Why don't we just ask a new bus to tell us what to do? Yeah, would he do that? He's sort of like, you know. know. Probably not. I'm sure he's also enjoying his own sonar. Does he have a tuning fork? I literally suggested channeling my connection to the divine to see if he would provide us one. But the odds are not in our favor. 60% chance. Well, what if you just ask real nice? It's like you rolled that in yielding ball. Try again later. Try again later. Outcome unclear. That don't look not so good.

but I'm more than willing to try to see if you can provide this one. I mean, now is the time before we get a long rest in and, you know, lose all those resources. All right. I would say that if you're... If it's divine intervention, you just got resurrected from sand,

which would count as a successful divine intervention. Oh. Oh. So the DM unwillingly stole my resources. Right. Without my knowledge. Well, hey, it was a good idea. So how could we make a tuning fork? Can we do that?

I mean, that's really Caprice's territory. I mean, you know the mechanics behind, you know, how a tuning fork really works. I mean, we talked about resonance before, and you were able to identify the note of the tune that we heard from the machine that they built. Perfect pitch. If I know what note we're looking for, I would be able to tune a fork, no problem. Why don't we just melt down something and make it into a fork? and you can... I do have magics that are able to fabricate things. Oh, that sounds easier. I'm not really in for smoking.

You know, I can't be anything with too fine precision, right? I can't create anything that's, you know, but a tuning fork, I mean, it's a hunk of metal. Well, what note are we looking for? That's not really about the note, right? That's to be tuned to a plane of existence. Isn't that interchangeable? I mean, like, a tuning fork, you go, boom, and that's the fucking like, A, or or a C or whatever.

Like you have a specific, are we talking about a sharp? Are we talking about a G or a B or an A? Well, what are we talking about? Well, that's the point is we don't really know. It sounds so scary. I mean, I assume, based on our previous conversation

and knowledge given to us by the God of this universe, that there is a way to translate it into a musical sense. You'd think it'd be A for a ventress, yeah? Well, no, that's what it was for the other point. I very distinctly remember it being an A. Oh, for the Skype? Yes. I can't remember the name of technically.

And I only remember that because, yes. Oh, that's an A2. And I only remember this because it was just very cool. Maybe it's like an A minor or an A major. I mean, it could be anything. I had a tuning fork that I attempted to open a chest with and it broke. And the only reason why I haven't lost that magical item is because I continue to enjoy the magical golden scale of the Dragon. I don't see them. Do I remember what that note was and do I think that it was prime material

plainy? So if you recall when you were resurrected, the dragon scale was taken from your tuning fork on your pair. Oh, I have the toning fork. Wow. So actually your suggestion was right and we all thought you were just taunting, cruelly taunting. I'd actually forgotten that. So I've been running us around the horn. I got this tuning a fork right here. Whoa! Great! We've been talking about this for like an hour. I just needed to relax in the bath for a while.

I'm very tired. All right, so what's that tuned to? Let me check. Boom. What am I tuned to? What is it tune to? I don't know. I have no idea.

It's probably middle C, right? Actually, probably. Middle C, definitely. Okay. Straight middle C. Well, what does that mean? Well, I don't know. We could try teleporting the Middle Sea and finding out where Middle Sea goes.

I don't think we should just be teleporting around. And I also think we're really riding a fine line here between the science of the spell and DM Fiat of it being this really cool musical allegory. I don't know what you just said. Never mind. The point is not only is there this resonance that we're talking about, you know, Toa makes a good point. It does need to be specifically.

attuned with, not just a tune, attuned to a plane. So it's not just the note that's meaningful. I don't know. It's also maybe needs to be connected to the plane in some fashion. I've never done this before. I'm not sure. The first time we've ever experienced it was in the Urios.

Well, couldn't you, I mean, even if you can't call on him for an invention, couldn't you at least like commune with Anubis? And be like, hey, Anubis. I think I'm really discouraged. Why don't I ask you several questions? that you might be able to give me the answer to. Well, because I did promise him that I would stop calling on him to answer all of our

questions and told him he could rely on us to... What have you just let me handle things for a while? Slide into her new Mrs. Diem. I'm going to need you to step away from all of my daddies. I'll give you one. But she's kind of into that.

Yeah, she's super daddy. I don't know if you noticed that. Now I'm level 20 and I get guaranteed divine intervention. You end there. Yeah, well, I'm sure I get something like my fingernails don't grow anymore or something. So right back at you. At level 20, you'll be able to raise and lower your cholesterol. Why would you want to raise it? So I can lower it again?

Yeah. You get a free LASIC procedure. like punch guard. Nothing, nothing, nothing in the 20 gets something valued at $500. That's sweet pizza. Well, I mean, it might be worth a shot, you know, just trying it. We just use it and see what happens. It was made in Adventress, right? Yeah, it's probably the whole, all we need. Easy. Is it worth at least 250 gold pieces? What is it worth to you? I know we're not supposed to bother Anubis with random questions But if you could ask him how the material component value

For a new bit I feel like that would be meaningfully important if you could ask him I get up out of the hot tub and I go to my room I guess she's tired If you're a little tired Well why don't we get some sleep And then in the morning, we can try the spell with the tuning foot and just see what happens. What's the worst that could happen?

We end up somewhere horrible. That's the worst that could happen, or brain scramble. That's the worst that would happen is we end up someplace really terrible. In the interim, much more likely to happen would be that I just waste a very large amount of magical energy and we're stuck here for another day. I mean, it's not the end of the world to be stuck here for one more day. I mean, we don't know what kind of calamities have to be. So it's like really poor choice of words. He said like, apocalypse is coming, so yeah, if we get stuck here, it could be end of the world.

I guess that's true. And also to answer your questions. Not to be fussy, but I do also remember when we got here, we were told that time flies. Yes, I've just been standing behind you. Gorgeous. Meagy quiet. Well, you know, I'm a cat. A tabxy.

Time moves differently, obviously. We're in a dread domain, so we don't know how much time is passing. Oh, geez. Let's go slower. It's got to be slower, right? It's always slower. What if we come back in like a thousand years have passed? Well, lovely, Luffy, you won't have aged a day. Yeah, well, we'll definitely have been out of time then. I mean, there's no way that CERN bought us a thousand years. No, it's, yeah. But anyone like a back massage?

Oh, I'd like one, if you don't mind. Oh, lovely. I'm like behind her. I'm going to walk around behind Toa, um, extract my clothes. claws and start giving nails on a chalkboard. Do you like it when I just drag my nails across your back? I'm gonna use stones and durance to block some of the damage to my racial feature. Oh, this is pleasant, thank you, Iris.

Here you've got knots in your shoulders and I'm just gonna dig in like really hard. Leave some flesh there at least, please. I need that. Oh wow, thanks Iris, that was very pleasant. Oh, I'm not done. Oh. Okay. I've got at least an hour in me. Okay.

And I'll just tolerate it. As long as you want to, I'll just grit my teeth and grimace. But yeah, Lufty, to answer your question, there are much worse places that we could be. There are prime material plane or here. We could be transported to the nine hells, for example, where a archdevil is genuinely like salivating over the idea of vengeance over me and any of my friends. I hadn't thought of that. I was happy or not knowing that. I just don't know if we should roll the dice, but I don't know what options we have

unless we like walk over to the nearest dread domain shop and find out that they've got like all the tuning forks. Is there a tuning fork shop in the, you don't know, I don't know, maybe. I can't imagine anybody here shops, do they? I mean, they're all like shambling. dead freaks. That's a little harsh. All right. And there's the undead.

Don't get me started on those guys. Oh, wow. It's just, hmm. It's like, oh, this is like old claw, isn't you, Donna? I'm not sure how you... Well, I've been growing them for years. I can tell.

I use a really nice oil product. to keep them very strong. They haven't broken in six, seven years. It's called iodine. So is it like that weird rams horn male? No, no, no, no. I constantly make sure that I file them down.

They're in very sharp points. Just in case I need to use them for weapons. Do you do that on that? Oh, wow. Thank you. It exfoliates the skin. Thank you. several layers at once.

All of the layers, really. I'm worried that Toa is going to bleed out. Oh, right through the epidermis, right down to the dermis. Oh, it is. Right to the dermis. Not my dermis. No, no way, it was the dimus. Well, yes, Toa, I have to get to the muscle to give it a massage.

You what? I just starts flaying me. Yep. I'm hot. All right, well, I think I'm going to get some sleep after I bandaged my wounds. But in the morning, just let me know if there's anything that I can do to hell, jug. I see the other one. I appreciate it.

I'm just going to keep ruminating over this spell and think about how to make this work, I guess. Good night, everyone. Will you check on myelin and make sure he's okay? Yeah, I'm going to stay in the room with him. you know, for the evening, I'll just stay with him and keep an eye on him and, uh, we'll be all right. You know, I really hate it when you ask Felix to do something he's already doing. Milo is his brother, you know. Well, I know, but, you know, there was only one bed in the room.

It was like that one time he was walking over to light the torch, and you were like, Felix, but you light that torch? And he had to stop and grit his teeth, because he's also irritated with the two. I'm just trying to be helpful, though. What do you think you could just watch what people are? doing? I guess I could. Like, be observant? I'd just like to be a part of things.

What's your passive perception? That's probably pretty good, actually. Like 17? Maybe 16. Well, that is pretty good. That is fine. Unfortunate. Good night.

Good night. He's only 12. I just don't care about anything. I banished my wounds. I go to bed. I wonder why he put those bandages on his back. I don't know. I know there's a lot of spontaneous bleeding going on.

It's just going around these days, you know. He had ghosts in his blood. We probably all do win a tread domain. Oh, geez, uh-oh. That's the real twist to me on my blood. My blood is screaming. I'm going to take some food and water to Milo and just keep an eye on him while I work on this.

And I don't know, I guess we'll reconvene in the morning. Yes, it sounds good. All right. Good night, everybody. Sweet dreams. Is everyone going to bed? Yeah. I soak for another hour thinking about how I felt about the dagger.

And when I realized I don't have any solutions, I get up and I go to bed. You all settle into bed, night having finally fallen. over Haurakir, and you sleep, except for you. Oh, you do sleep, Caprice. Uh-oh. Mm-hmm. But you dream. There is darkness around you, and that flash of light, silver, shimmering.

It's a light in the darkness, and then it snakes out, explodes in all different directions, shimmering silver, reminds you of Felix's dagger, reminds you of the blade that you had seen forged in that memory from hundreds of years ago. It snakes in all directions and it explodes into it than a single point once more as it swirls around something in the darkness. Black metal, legs, claws, tail.

You can hear faint. It's a crass scorpion crown floats above you. You wish to wear it. It courses with silver light. Can you give my man a break just for one arc? You, it courses with silver light. And you then see Ruby, a silhouette within. It's Hersia.

she's encased, imprisoned, in a ruby. She's slamming on the inside, slamming, pounding, begging to be freed, screaming, but you cannot hear what she says. You can just read her lips barely. And at this point, she fades away as darkness returns. It's not just void, it's feathers, black feathers, raven's feathers. then six red eyes in the darkness. The six-eyed raven looks at you.

And you realize now that you're wearing the crown, but it's not you wearing the crown. It's the one who owns your soul. And you see this six-eyed raven as it then glows with silver, snakes through its entire body and explodes in a disgusting pop of gore and fern. feathers, and then suddenly with that explosion, you awake, and you all enjoy a long rest.

Yes. Boy, I feel rested. Had no terrible dreams. It was very pleasant. I always sleep so well here. It's like the mattress or something. It's like, it's heavenly. This is an heavenly bed. Especially after, you know, everything that we've been through, how long it's been, we've had a nice place to lay down. get it because it's like a divine bed, it's heavenly Do you guys? Do you guys? That's pretty good.

Oh, thanks, Felix. Are we ready to try it? Well, can we do it in here or will it break something? Well, that's a great question. I imagine we're a nice flat piece of stone where I can use some chalk would be good. You know, I don't really know what's going to happen. To be honest, anything could happen. Well, we shouldn't do it in here, right?

Well, I figure, you know, I can't really draw in the sand. Yeah, but then, like, where... Does it take us here, or does it take us to the plane? I've got my target. If we're okay with going to Zentra, that's the target. Oh, it doesn't. It's a no-compaxie rule. What?

If you put the circle in here, would we be able to teleport back here, would in here be the temple? I mean, unless there's some permanent teleportation circle here in the temple that I don't know about that Iris is aware of, in which case, that's a different conversation. I'm just, it's just part of the spell. I need to draw out a transmutation circle,

and you know, it's just all- Okay, you don't have to yell, I was just asking questions. I'm not yelling, I'm just, I'm thinking out loud. Okay. Uh... I'm just a little nervous, I think. Are we okay with going to Zentra? I think that it's the best place to go.

I mean, especially with Zinn going on. We can take stock of things, see what's going on, and worse than a scenario, well, I don't know, catch a carriage somewhere if we have to leave and go somewhere else once we figure out what's going on. Well, there's a nice, big flat stone area right in front of the Statue of Anubis. Is it okay if Felix, you know, chalk's there?

It's just chalk. Yeah, it won't take me long. Just give me, like, you know, 15, 20 minutes. To think about it, and, you know, I'm sure it'll be all right. Yeah, it'll work out. With the tuning fork? Yeah.

Help me understand one fine point, which is, let's say you're targeting Zentra, and we use the tuning fork, but the tuning fork turns out to be not the prime material plane. Will we go to the nearest Zentra equivalent, or is it just going to be random? Do you want my honest opinion? I always want your honest opinion. I don't know what'll happen. It could be completely random. I mean, I have a targeted mind, and...

You know, we could... In theory, the teleportation circle exists, and if that key's the right key for the right door, no problem. If the key's not for the right door, I don't know if it's going to spit us out into whatever door that key fits, or if just nothing will happen at all. This is uncharted territory.

I've never done anything like this before. Is there any chance that it just totally fails and we all die? Complete and total dismemberment and death is unlikely. Unlike. I have faith in you, Felix. But not zero percent chance. Nothing's a zero percent chance. No, it is a zero percent chance. Felix will make sure we come through.

Okay. I have faith. I think the most likely scenario is that it just won't work. Then nothing will happen. But if everything that I see here is right, then we'll give it a try. And, you know, it'll all work out. Let's do it. This is the plan.

I'm excited about the plan. Let's do the plan. All right. I'm excited. 15 or 20 minutes. You come with me with the fork, and we'll get this, we'll make it work, all right? I'll just sit over here and prepare. I'll take out a piece of just common chalk from my bag that I've used for, you know, numerous things

and start drawing out like a teleportation circle that I remember from Centra with the sigil. I'm copying it from my notebook, my spellbook, you know, and it's got all sorts of runes and sequences and things, and I'm working with Caprice using this tuning fork, and he's giving me the resonance, and we're doing some cool magical DMViat stuff. Okay. Cool. And how does the...

So you need... You're using teleportation circle. I am using plan or shift. Okay. Can you read it to me how... Yes, I can. So you went up to eight willing creatures who link hands in a circle.

are transported to a different plane of existence. You can specify a target destination in general terms, such as the city of brass on the elemental plane of fire, or the palace of Despader on the second level of the nine hells. And you appear in or near that destination. If you are trying to reach the city of brass, for example, you might arrive in the streets of steel before its gates of ashes, or looking at the city from across the sea of fire at the GM's discretion.

Alternatively, if you know the sigil sequence of a teleportation circle in another plane of existence, the spell can take you to that circle. If the teleportation circle is too small to hold all the creatures that you transported, they appear in the closest unoccupied spaces next to the circle. You can use this spell to banish an unwilling creature, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All of that is irrelevant at this point. And that's all it says. A forked metal rod worth at least 250 gold pieces attuned to a particular plane of existence.

So I'm really leaving it up to you to determine whether or not you believe that this will work and or if some horrible thing will happen to us. Roger that. Okay. So. This is shot in the dark. Roger that. I'm going to use a seventh level spell there to do it, so feel free to, you know, punish me for that, I guess.

I would never do that. You immediately, Kronenberg. Thanks. Feel his head teleports. No, God. A nightmare. I'm going to get rid of this spell. Milo, look away.

I'm going to get rid of the guy. I have to just change my prep here, so I have it in my actual prepared stuff. How many people can go? Eight. Thank goodness. Yeah, we're good. We have exactly eight. No, we've seven.

We're good. Yeah, we're golden. Plus my dark passenger. Oh, God. There's always one movie. Plainship. I'm casting it. Yeah, there's no, there's no, like, check or anything,

because the charisma check would be if I was using it offensively against somebody else. Yeah, yeah. So, up to you, my friend. I'm willing to do whatever you think is reasonable. Okay. Are you casting it now? Yeah, I would take the, you know, the 20 minutes or whatever to prepare. Get Milo and Velasca.

They would be getting everything that they need together. Yeah. You know, and then when everyone tells me they're ready to go, they're both exhausted. They stir a little bit, but they're very clearly going to need to sleep a long time. Are you borking? Giorking. Giorning.

Giorning. Oh. Yeah. For a second, I thought you meant like, sweet a shuffing. Like, Boat, booing. And I got, I've got Milo. one of those like front pouches where the like arms and like that's yeah the baby buren yeah I thought the Bjorn was the that's like a that's like a that's like a

a sling yeah I don't know what that's really have me I've been picturing us this another oscelot I've been picturing the baby Bjorn like a backpack that you wear in the front and they just like all their limbs stuck out of the baby that's that when I was appreciate it's okay that's all of them if he since you're busy yeah I appreciate that I'll make sure that myel's you know resting and supporting. When you come into wait, Milo says, like, Felix, you need to meet my new friends.

You need to teach him out to make ice cream soup, I promise. Yeah, yeah, of course. You need to stab a spider in the eye. Oh, I would actually have very much, do we remember all of those things we experienced? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think, I hear what he says, and I think that I can't even begin to explain that in a different time and space we were there with him. And I just think like, whoa, dude.

Like in the back of my head. We were there. I peed by cells. Yeah, we were kids and we died whole of that. We were being eaten by a spider. And then I would help him up, you know, with Toa. And then continue to do that. And Velasca is the same way.

She's like, I want to those things. my mommy. I pulled a hand out of my pants. I don't know. Hi, honey. You are in rare form today, I guess. No, that's a good point. Should we talk about that real quick?

When do we get home? Okay. Okay. Okay. I don't think it's safe to resurrect someone in a dread domain. Oh, that seems fair. Might have to get out of it. Or just like get some ekey bit in them.

I'm glad you're thinking about these things but not and Richie's not even That's why I'm the claret of the grave You're a stone man I'm the dumbest with you How's the hand doing though It's fun

Like decomposing No it's mummified Oh that's good Okay just check It's gently reposing We'll put it in a tumbleware With fingernails are growing adequately Or a hand

Damn it I just won't draw anymore Would it benefit it If I sang an inspiring song? Well, it depends on whether it's inspiring or not. All my songs are inspiring, thank you very much. From a mechanical perspective, I don't know if it'll help very much, but it'll just make me feel better deep down.

You truly believe Suckball's Mountain is an inspiring song? Yeah. No, but it's a real banger. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, no, I'll sing. I'll sing, and I'll give you inspiration. No fact.

On God. On God. Yeah, Suckballs Mountain is really bussing. I'm just traveling through the realm with my fave party. Just traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling along. We're headed towards our great next adventure. And when I get there, I'm going to sing this song. I'm going to sing, oh, yeah, oh, my, my.

I don't give a fuck about a Minmax guide. You can take away my items, but you can't take away my pride. I'm singing, oh yeah, oh my, my. I'm going to keep singing till the day I die. Lor Bard is the way I ride. Thank you. I'll just sing the first. But you know, I would say that that is much more inspiring than Suckball's Mountain.

Yeah, I feel good about this. Let's do it. I think this is going to work. Let's do it. It has to work. I'm trying to be optimistic. Are we ready? I think so.

Do we hold hands? Yes. Beyond properly. Get in the circle. Everybody hold hands. Make sure we got the young ones with us here. Watch my finger. Felix, did you draw that?

It's the longest one I have. Yeah, yeah, I drew the circle. That doesn't look like a kitty at all. It's not supposed to, Milo. It's magic. I can't even begin to. You know what, buddy? It's all right.

We're gonna be home soon. I wanna eat ice cream soon. And I will step between the space between Caprice and Tea, who each have a hand open, and I will begin to unwrap the dagger. Yeah. And I will hold it in one hand, my right hand, as I link my arm around Tea and hold Caprice's hand with my left hand. Pinky.

Yeah, hold your pinky. We're only doing pinkies. Oh, we're just doing pinky. Okay, well, I'm still, I linked my arm in Ta-ah because I'm trying to hang one in the dagger. I will concentrate and attempt to cast plane shift and arrive in the teleportation circle that we know of in Zentra. As you cast the spell, I first need you to make a 100. Felix. As you clutch the dagger.

41. Nearly the answer to everything. Oh God, less than 50 sounds scary. Yeah. So what is I've rolled thus far? The spell works. Oh, no. But...

And you all stand around in a circle as you hold up the tuning fork, and it rings out in that middle C, the same note that you've been hearing Caprice used as he's been tuning his violin, his fiddle, as it rings around you constantly, and the spell swirls around. His arcane magic glows in your eyes, Felix, as the, you look at the ruins, you look at the everything that you've done for the spell,

and then it actually connects with the tuning fork. It is locked on as it tunes and tunes as the middle C rings out, and then the note becomes discordant. So close. As, as this tuning fork rings out and the note gets more and more strange and discordant, as it swirls around and the ground leaves you as you are rocketed through

the planes as you cast plane shifts successfully. Darkness surrounds you. Our mouths and anus is You are ungovernable. I wouldn't hate that as we all begin to start shitting from our faces. You, sir, are ungovernable.

What's that, Iris? Hey, guys, what's up? Oh, God. Oh, God. But something goes wrong. That's what I'm writing in my notes. Plane shift. You are surrounded by darkness.

As suddenly your vision returns, you look around and you see shapes in the darkness around you. As the, you feel like you're on a very fine rug, it's plush, and you see glints of red around you. As you look around to see where you are, it doesn't look like any place in Zentra that you're familiar with. It doesn't look like any room, despite all the strange dungeons. and libraries. Caprices, your eyes adjust. You realize that

this looks familiar. You've been in this chamber before. I imagine that the smell would actually be. The first thing they would give me. The smell will hit you, and then it hits all of you. The smell of brimstone. You see now as a very nice...

You see shelves. And you're lined with many rubies, strange relics and artifacts. And it's still so dark. You can't tell where the walls are. You see shelves. You see it. Is that a table? The beginning of a strange fireplace?

As you send see movement, it moves. So so subtly, you realize now that only because this shape was moving so perfect, was, had been so perfectly still that you didn't notice it before. Still just a silhouette, tall, 13 feet tall, robed, massive spiraling goat-like horns going out to the sides. And then in a flash, almost blinding in this dark room. you see two circular eyes as the Lord of Lies Stares down at all of you Welcome back Capriccio de Sesto

You have returned sooner than I had expected Hi Not intentional I think we're just a It's a bit of a pit stop We were attempting to get back to the prime material plane and somehow ended up here. So we can just be on our way. Oh, oopsie.

And it's quite be great to see you. Thanks again for, you know, saving me from eternity and burning lava pit. I must have made a mistake. I didn't mean for this to happen. Hi, I'm Talek Kamenui. These are my friends? What's your name?

They're trusted allies. I couldn't do anything without them. Oh, we've seen you before, kind of, right? We have spoken, yes. Wow, I just forgot how big you are. I thought I was big. Did I do this or did you do this? The lantern-like eyes turned to you.

It was a cooperative effort. Did you really think, Capriccio, that your family's lucky tuning fork was attuned to anything beyond the nine hells. Even am I the same? I am called the Lord of Lies. But great arcane power brought you here all the same through the mist. That requires great strength.

Well, the good news is it worked, as expected. Yeah, I guess that's a silver lining. It was just to do a different place than we thought. So we can just, maybe you can just help us along. Back to Centra. I don't know if you're up to date on the latest happenings, but there are some serious shit going down. We need to get back to the Prime Material plane right away.

If reality is going to continue to persist, even. I have seen it all. Oh, so you know. Well, your friend Capriccio has seen it all, and so have I. You are the duplicitous Pizzou, attempts to reignite an all-consuming war, to tip the scales for himself to renege on our deal. He wishes to destroy.

all and rebuild it in his image. Reclaim this universe for the Oberriths. It will not happen. Well, I mean, that's good. It sounds like you want what we want. Yeah, our goals are aligned, it seems. Yes. So you've come to bargain, then,

because I have a bargain for you. Well, I don't know about all that. I mean, it's just kind of a mistake, a mix-up. We just gotta get back to Zentra. We just have to go home. Oh, and yeah. I left my purse back there. Hmm.

So, you know, get you back next time, okay? If it's just something that we can do for you, like a favor or something real quick, and you can just get us where we need to go. Oh, I don't know about that. No. Oh. No.

No. How else are we going to get out of here? The Scorpion Crown. Oh, this thing, pulled out of the bag of all that. Yes. What a bag of a bag of? I wish to have it. Why?

There is few. There are few things that can defeat the power which your adversary has consumed. That crown was forged by the mad god himself and with the curse that now flows Through Pizzou, it may be strong enough to be his undoing. It can be turned into a weapon. Whoa. What kind of weapon? A weapon that will send the Lord of the Lower Aerial Kingdoms back to the universe

from whence he came, annihilating him entirely. Look, I'm not going to pretend like I know much. about any of all of this. You know, I'm just the guy, but we don't really have any use for the crown. I mean, what are we going to do? Hold on to it forever? It seems kind of dangerous. I don't even know what we do with it.

We're just going to sidebar for a minute, okay? While you do allow me to remind Capriccio of the collateral, and he waves a long hand, and you hear as there's two glacial, as there's two glowing red lights on either side of you, and you see encased in glowing red ruby are the corrupted

forms of Hersia and Torvald. Do we see this too? You all see that, correct. And they're small, right? Or are they full size? No, they're full size, yeah. We haven't seen this before, right? No. No, no. Maybe, I don't know if you told you about that, but. Did you tell us a little? I I would have told you guys as much details I could about my experience from the moment that I died to the moment that I was returned by said Lord of Lies. That would have included that Herja and Torvald were trapped, but probably seeing them in this way, you're realizing that I couldn't have articulated the nature of the image that's in front of you now. Oh my God. I try to go forward and like tap on the

You walk up to it And despite its size It is solid ruby And you tap on it And it has the consistency of what you imagine A massive gemstone to have You tap and tap and tap in it Let's out a strange resonance

But she seems completely encased The shaggy fur of the beast plague that had, and the horns and the hooves, still affecting her. And you see the same with the Jade statue of Torval on the other side. Are they looking stasis? They're in stasis, yeah. Yeah. As the Lord of Wise turns back to you, you will recall that I took the collateral until you could ensure your loyalty to my service.

That was the deal? This is such an opportunity, if you wish. To give you the crown? And to utilize the dagger. And the eyes turn to you, Felix. Ah, man. This thing is really becoming more trouble than it's worth. You may keep it once I return it to its normal, meager state.

So you're aware that there's something seriously wrong with this thing. I wish to cleanse it. Transfer it to the crown. Guys, oh, go ahead. I'm just feeling like, you know, we're like in the ocean and we see a big fish coming and we say, oh no, it's a really big fish. And then that fish gets eaten by something even bigger. And we're like, oh, thank God that fish is gone. But now we have to deal with the bigger fish.

And this just feels like a bigger fish. Yeah. That's exactly right. I mean, the problem is we're not going anywhere. We're stuck here. I mean, there's no way out. Look around us. It's nothing but darkness.

There's no, like, backspace button? I don't know. I mean, what is it going to do? Watch me sit here and draw for 20 minutes and then try to sneak out here? I don't know. You heard it, the tuning fork only cleeds to hear. We don't have a way back to a ventress.

We would need another tuning fork to leave. Right. We didn't have the right key. This is terrible. I mean, I get the EBG, just looking at, just holding it, it feels terrible. I don't mind giving it to him. Same way with the dagger now, too. And, I mean, you know, he's been really nice about Caprice, he saved him, you know, I don't know.

For what purpose? I'm a little more convinced with this guy compared to, you know, dazzle-dazzle-bizzle-bizzle-whatever his name is. I just... Look, Caprice is a great guy, don't get me wrong, but... Why, why? Why is he saving him? If not just to get something else that he wants. I mean, they all have motives. Everybody's got an angle, right? This might be him getting what he wants.

I know, but, but why? What happens when he defeats him? I don't know. I mean... Then he destroys the world? You don't know if he has any interest in that. Lufty. Yeah? Hello. Have you ever known true hate?

Well, I'm a pretty easy-going gal. I mean, I, you know, Patricia was a real bitch, but I don't know that I hated her. Vengeance, a desire for retribution. No, I guess I have. Why? He looks at you and says, Perhaps you will be a more willing business associate if I show you the first encounter with our adversary, and he waves his hand.

And suddenly the rubies around you containing Torvald and Persia dissipate, and another one light as it glows with a with a strange hue and it gets brighter and brighter and brighter until it consumes your vision and your senses. All of us are just lifting. All of you. Oh, good. Thank you so much for listening to The Legends of Aventra's podcast.

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