Legends of Avantris - Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 68 | Fallen Angel: Part 2

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Our heroes have a long conversation with a powerful individual...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/kWGNfCnKc34?si=1glmDRpgVgRiPEzi

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Mikey Gilder, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. Is it really you? And I'll take a couple steps slowly. Milo, Milo, are you all right? Milo, wake up. I knew you would come for me.

You need to teach my friends how to make ice cream soup. Let's just watch. Frican, whatever direction we want to go in. It's fine. And you see the glorious temple to Anubis before you. I can smell the incense. Oh, we can take a bath! I'm also a bit concerned about what's going to happen to Centra.

I mean, like, their leader's gone. Corvacia might just fall in absolute chaos. I'm just traveling through the realm with my fave party. Just traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling along. We're headed towards our great next adventure. And when I get there, I'm going to sing this song. I'm going to sing. Oh yeah, oh my, my.

I don't give a fuck about a MinMax guide. You can take away my items, but you can't take away my pride. As you cast plane shifts successfully, darkness surrounds you. Caprices, your eyes adjust. You realize that this looks familiar. You've been in this chamber before. So you're aware that there's something seriously wrong with this thing.

I wish to cleanse it. Transfer it to the crowd. You know, we're like in the ocean and we see a big fish coming and we say, oh no, it's a really big fish. And then that fish gets eaten by something even bigger and we're like, oh, thank God that fish is gone. But now we have to deal with the bigger fish. And this just feels like a bigger fish. Yeah, that's exactly right. The problem is we're not going anywhere.

We're stuck here. I mean, there's no way out. You see a massive mountain. larger than any of you've ever seen in a ventress or otherwise. You see brilliant spires of silver and glowing blue and gold. And you, the air around you is shimmering and the world is almost glittering. with a strange rainbow-like hue all around you. You are standing, or you perceive yourself to be standing,

on a long road built into the sky. As you see a long road of pristine white marble, with railings that it's floating in the sky by this mountain. You see a large, a silver, almost a chrome-like railings that goes to what looks like a massive structure, a fortress floating in the sky, parapets and towers, not completely unlike the spires of Oka, but far more,

more grandiose, militant, divine. As you see that they're flanking this road leading up to this massive fortress are winged humanoids, heavily armored, holding per-pristinely crafted weapons. And as you see, massive doors that lead towards this road that goes off into the strange otherworldly place that you're in. And you hear a voice in your mind. The heavens, when these realms were young, the prison of Thore's doom, the first prison

of Thar is a dude. As you see a, you now see a single angel walking down this road, past rows and rows of angels, guards, and then up, walks all the way up to this heavily guarded door. And you realize now this fortress

is very clearly a prison of something some kind of vault as concepted by creatures of the divine. You can understand now. And you see that this is a helmeted angel wearing a gilded golden helmeted helmeted, adorned with the vestiges of what looked like in eagle, or some kind of majestic bird. As he steps up, to the guard on the right side of the door.

This is a very handsome man, pristine wings behind him, very perfectly shaved, except for a small goatee and a little small black mustache. As this, as this helmeted angel stops and looks at this angel that's guarding on the right side of the door as the helmeted angel says, my heavens,

you're Asmodeus, aren't you? And the guard looks and narrows his eyes and says, yes, I am. Why do you ask, what is your purpose here? And the angel with the eagle helmet puts a hand on his chest and says, Pardon me for stepping out of place, but I have heard of your great valor at the Battle of Peth.

You've slain so many demons. You slaughtered oberths by the thousands. And the guard simply looks at him and nods and says, Yes. And the visitor, the stranger, stops and says,

well, I must admit that I am surprised that such a great warrior, a noble angel with legendary reputation in battle, and for virtue, would be relegated to guard duty. Such a thing

does not seem just or virtuous, does it not? Does not seem to be the wise judgment of a prudent and virtuous God? But I don't mean to speak out of turn. As the guard, you know, as Asmodeus,

stops, and he says, I follow the will of our god, I guard the prison of the god that must remain chained.

And he, this stranger, takes a few steps forward, very close. And you can tell that he's actually several inches shorter than Asma Deas. And he looks up. And you can now see underneath his eagle

helmet these very bright eyes. that dart back and forth. But there's something strange about these eyes. They almost... They almost observe Asmedaus with the eyes of a predator, a bird of prey. As...

As he says, I suppose that is a very high honor. The power that Thore's doom. once wielded. Should he ever reclaim the shard of evil, although I shouldn't say much more. If one were to reclaim that power, imagine what could be unleashed upon those obereth, those demons, perhaps be able to destroy them once and for all. That's a shame we cannot wield such power, for it is evil as our wise God says. And as Madhazma Deiash just nods at him and says, you are exactly right. No one deserves to wield such power, least of all us. And the

stranger takes a step back and says, ah, you're right. You're right. No, no one could be that great. No one could be wise enough and virtuous enough to ever wield it. Well, my business lies elsewhere. It was very lovely meeting such a heroic angel as Medea's. What you say your name was again? You may call me Pasario. The vision fades, and the eyes are looking at Newloftay. It was not long after that interaction that Pazriel became my great general, and I fell from grace and fell from the heavens,

crash into these hills that you see. Does that provide adequate motivation? So you want to redeem yourself, yeah? No. Good is foolish. I do not wish to ever return to those realms of good. No. But one who thought he could outplay.

Me, when I was young and foolish, he served his purpose. He helped stoke the demon lords To foolishly continue the blood war But now he has overstepped his bounds And his usefulness has run out And so like A chicken at a dinner time His neck must be wrung

And he should be plucked So he was an angel too? No That was a deception Oh An illusion All right, so you mentioned a deal, if it were. We have the crown and you want it.

What are you offering in return? Your dagger will be cleansed. The crown and the dagger, all right? I will return it to you. You will do whatever it takes to destroy Pizzou, claiming the shard of evil in the process. It was not just I that Pizzuzzi corrupted. Thore's Dune himself was not always mad.

What about our friends? I will send them back home, safe and sound. You can fix them. I can, I promised Capriccio that I would. This assurance of loyalty will satisfy. that piece of the contract. They will be cleansed and returned to their mundane lives in the Grizzlepaw mountains of Yona on a ventriss. Will they remember after being cleansed all of this?

If you wish them not to, I can make that happen. Do I have to decide right this second? Not right this second. but you do not have the luxury of time. You need to rest. According to my estimations, you have several days before Pizzou makes his move.

Holy days? I figured Zern would have bought us at least a few months, maybe years, was that wishful thinking, I guess? The power of the Raven Queen. And the memories of the mortals that she manipulates is strong. Pazuzu would have acted immediately, were it not for the contingencies. But Pazuzu has shrouded my eyes, has shrouded my spies.

What he does now, I do not know as much as it pains me to admit. Are you able to see what happened to Zern? Or I guess Ra'u? Maybe is what he said. Turned. Turned to what he loathed. As like a punishment? Punishment for betraying his patron.

Or perhaps making the deal in the first place. He is a fiend. Now, all of us can fall. All of us can fall. can turn. And as it is the colloquialism, the road to hell is

paved with good intentions. And there's nothing we can do for him to put him out of his misery, or he has served his purpose. That's awfully sad. It bothers time.

You know, he gets to live an eternal punishment. He also allowed for the weakness that will continue to corrupt Pizzou. The first strike perhaps will come in days, but it will be a war after that. It will just be the beginning. I was going to ask if, as part of the deal, you can send us back to Vantris. I mean, we have to get back there. We were aiming for Zentra, and I know that's not where we ended up, but I was hoping that maybe you could tell us where Pizzuzza was going to strike.

Where did we have to face him? Yeah, anything you can tell us to help us to your aim. You will undoubtedly face him in Pazunia. Where is that? His realm in the abyss. Wishful thinking. But... I think that would be on our own turf.

You are haggard in a week. You need time to rest. Return the children to safety. I can send you to Borovia, if you wish. Reunite with your allies you left beyond the mist. Oh, that's a great idea. Because we know that Alexei and... Oh, no, not I shouldn't anymore.

And then, to Zentra, you will find friends in Barovia. I fear you will not find friends in Zentra. Well, at the very least, if we end up in a ventress, I can teleport us where we need to go. And it sounds like maybe that Pizzuzzi's not like ending the world right now, that we have a few days. And so that was one of the things we were worried about was to try to help Zentra. But, you know, I agree that maybe it is a lost goal. And, you know, maybe we can return Veleska. Sofiana back to her people.

Right. And if there are allies there, then maybe they'll be able to help us with what we have to go and where we have to go next. I don't know. It's as good as any. And they can't look after Milo, you know, because he can't come with us to Pasoone. I don't think he should anyway. No, you're right. He needs to find someone that he can, we trust that he can stay with.

And when he's back on his feet, he's very helpful. And he'll be able to help out. I know it. I'm in. I mean, we've got no other choice, really. I'll pull the scorpion ground back out. And I'll pull out the knife. This will be just the first step of our agreement.

What are the other steps? Once the end begins. Once the red eclipse occurs, the end of all things, will be initiated. We will know what to do when that time comes. Once I have time, scour this relic and looks very clearly at the crown, and take the power of memory, secrets in death.

It will be Pizzou's undoing, especially once you secure the shard of evil. So we need to kill him and then get the shard of evil? The shard will be required to destroy him. Oh. At least a sliver. A single sliver is all it took to create this. And the silhouette raises the large cane-looking thing that he has. And he extends it forward and it disappears out of the shadow.

And you see it's just this massive rod. it appear Ruby all the way down. Pure what? Ruby. Ruby. Damn. And he pulls it back in and it turns back into a syllabod. I can't believe I'm turning this over twice in like two days.

Things never left my sight. But I guess there's no time like the brother. It's clearly more powerful than I think anyone realized. If it can, you know, if it's going to cleanse it and you can use it again, and doesn't have to leave your side anymore. Right. Yeah, you're right. All right.

Here. Hey, real quick. Were you the reason why I was acting all funny towards that thing? I was going to claim it whether you agreed or not. And he raises his hand and a new contract emerges, uh, ignites. And, uh, as you step forward with those two objects, the eyes turn to you and then the rest of you and says, do you wish to amend the fate of the collateral?

I want them to not remember any paint. I don't mean in some broad, like, they only have happy memories. Hergea wouldn't want me to modify her memory. And I have no right to say about her father. but towards the end during the corruption, if there was anything that could be forgotten without tarnishing their person, just make it easy. And when they're returned, they'll remember the journey they've been on how they got there and be able to return to their mundane lives without the kind of suffering that makes that

impossible. You see his hand wave, an additional scrolling of infernal text is added to the contract. I mean, and see the nature of the script. And I would say that you see that it seems to be pretty airtight.

But you know, there's postscript. It feels like it captures the intent. Yes, yeah. Said the Lord of lies. All right. Just trust me. That's all I wanted to know is You don't have to make me do anything and take over my shit anymore

You can just come and talk to me anytime, that's fine I will commune when needed Be certain of that Yep, super certain You can proceed And with that he waves his hand And suddenly the dagger And the crown both lift

up and they swirl together in front of the Lord of Lies as you see the crown disappears, the blackness of the metal disappears into just

barely a silhouette illuminated by the lamplight eyes of the Lord of Lies. The dagger raises to be in the center of it as it spins around as does the dagger and the bright silver light, the incredible amount of empowerment

and enchantment that you had done, the power, that incredible power of the Raven Queen's blasts through the room and you get a quick glimpse of this strange, like this bizarre infernal study of some kind for just a moment until you're blinded as you hear

as suddenly the light dims back down and you see the scorpion crown swirling as it then is pulsing with snaking lines of silver light. As the dagger now, Felix, you can see there's no more blood or corruption on your Talengarde blade and all of that incredible, immeasurable power of death combined with the essence of Thar's Dune hums from the crown.

and you feel a sense of satisfaction from the Lord of Lies and the gravity of the situation. With a wave of his hand, the dagger floats back to you, Felix, and the crown spins, and in a wave of his hand, you see as it moves over to this very dark, shelf and slides into the darkness. Disappears. And you see now that your names have been added to the contract. Welcome to the fucking party. Yeah, no choice, right?

I mean, for me, absolutely not. It was this or, or I can even begin. But I think also there's a, you know, burden of saving the world type. responsibility that comes with these kinds of things. This is how this is supposed to go, maybe? They don't tell about this in the stories and epics I've studied. Well, we've already agreed to it and handed it over, so I'll be first, and I'll walk up, and is there like a floating magical quill or anything?

So your name's already on there. Oh, like, already signed this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, I don't have to sign again. Okay, just makes it sure. Oh, there it is. I see it. Yeah.

Maybe it's like, created versus sign. That's the most toe you've ever been, Rich. And with that, as there's glowing red light on either side of you. And with a hum, you see as the silhouettes within

that had once been affected by beast plague, that had once been affected, by the Jade curse. Now are just dwarves. Trapped in stasis, you see Torval and Herzia. Their eyes just staring blankly, but peacefully forward,

as they float towards you. And the Lord of Lies turns down and says, do you wish to bid farewell? They will not recall anything of this place. Only my closest associates may know, but I will give you a moment before I send them to Yona. I'll walk forward immediately and lean down and Torvald,

I hope to see you again, good health. I urge I miss you terribly. Every second, every minute, I wish that you could be able. by my side and fighting along with us while we deal with these nightmares. I'm sorry that you're in the state that you're in, that there isn't anything more I can do for you right now. We'll see each other again soon, I promise, okay? I sort of hesitate before thinking about something like maybe a kiss on the surface of this Ruby before I back off and step back with the group,

regaining my composure as best I can. You do that. And you see as Perj's eyes are open, but they do not lock on you. It doesn't seem to be recognition, but there is a peacefulness to her face. Did the grace and repat. That was nice.

Roger, thank you for everything. We'll see you soon. Yeah. He raises his hand. Your loyalty is appreciated. And with a wave, the rubies glow, and in a flash, they are suddenly empty. And they darken as they float back to the various places where they had come from. Are you okay?

Yeah. That for everything that's happening. And this feels like coming to rest in a weird way. I think we know what we need to do. And look, when we succeed and all of this is over, everything goes back to normal, we all have various plans of seeing where we all come from, there's nothing saying that you can't go visit her.

Vacation. Yeah. Yeah, Felix can teleport us all over the place. The sabbatical. That's right. When we're done with this, we don't have to sign anything. Let's just agree you in a word of mouth style. We'll go to each other's homes.

We'll just relax and spend all the time we ever could need. I love that. It'd be so nice. Oh, to take you to the islands. It'll be amazing. And if you're cool, you can come too, Athie. I mean, you know, whatever you want. My place is here, and the dagger floats back to you, Felix.

How does it feel? It feels like your old trusty blade. Feels like it's back to normal. That's good. Yeah, at least I won't be worthless in the coming days, I guess. So you can still use it to, you know, zip 30 feet in one direction and then turn a bunch of sand in the glass, no problem, instantaneously, right? That's exactly right.

Okay. And I've got my bow and my fiddle. Some people like to call it a veal. So we go back. back to... Darned, Blige. Berovia. Wherever you wish.

We go back to Berovia. I will send you to Aventras. All right. We go back to Borovia. We assess the situation. We make sure that the kid's all right. And we have a few days to prepare. And I don't even know how we begin to do that.

So where do we get this shot of evil? If we needed to kill him. It is... Lost. In the abyss. Oh, so how do we go about finding it in meubase? That time will come. Your mortal souls need time before you face that horror and chaos.

Three days, Hartley, seems like enough time for anything. Is that what we're down to, three days? I just picked a number. Is it several before? Several, three. I mean, you know, who could it be? Three is a few? everybody knows this. I think three could be several.

Wait, does it have to be the primaterial plane? Do we have to go back to Borovia? Can you give us like a Borovia ticket? And then also we could go to the time stopped where your mom was. We have been months there, just fucking around. The eternal Vela. Arca is no longer in stasis.

Once the Windedukes returned. The mom really doesn't like the babysit. She hates kids. It was a good idea. I'm always a couple stuff behind. Well, I think Borovia for now, and then we hopefully take care of the little ones, and then I guess we'll wait for further guidance.

But most importantly, we got to rest up, it sounds like. I mean, we have to prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally and physically. I could compose some new songs, some new jazz. James? Now, you must prepare for a war. You have time. Perhaps a week, perhaps more. I wish I could give more guidance.

But you must do whatever you can, whatever you would deem wise to prepare for the end of all things. A war on the material plane? Like, should we warn, you know, everybody? The Oberith Lords came from another universe, a dying, desiccated universe thanks to their chaos and corruption. It was Pizzou who pushed the shard of evil into our domain, turn the Thora's Dune mad, and he unleashed the Oberiths, created the abyss. demons as we know it.

And now they wish to do the same to this universe that they did to their home universe and on and on and on. So if we push them back to the old dead universe, they're done. They walk out.

That is the hope. Or perhaps forever trapped. A fate worse than death for someone such as Pazoozuzu. Well, we can, maybe, you know, we could warn the, the Ork tribe and we could warn Centra if we can. What good will it do? How would they protect themselves against something like that? They can at least try to fight. I mean, we've killed demons before, like obviously not like,

oh, we even killed the personification of Moloch and Baphimit! I mean, so, you know, they could at least fight little demons. In a flash, you hear a tchoo-choo. And you see a very small, it looks like a bottle. Like a little round bottle with a cork. And you see inside a little bullheaded imp as it's very viciously clawing at the side of the jar, hatefully looking at both Felix and Caprice especially.

You never grew beyond your days in the flusk. As as it as the bull head is snorting and lets out a roar that is muffled. It sounds squeaky coming from an imp. The roar of the bull in its final form as it disappears as the Lord of Lies

turn that says yes you did we'll be able to do this thing for you I could use a few days and I have a notion of something that I could do if I had 12 hours or so to really sit down and focus my attention but I I would need a little something aster if that's all right I would need a ruby worth 1,500 gold pieces and with this I could make a kind of another person with through my through my song through my story tell me if there's one thing I had as it's rubies. That's why I thought I'd ask. It's like nothing to this stuff.

It's extremely apropos. Wow, wow. How serendipitous. Ruby, you say? Fresh out. Yeah. Best I could do it. Horse shit. All right. I'll take that. Thank you.

And he, he, um, he looks at all of you and says, Zuzu still has agents. working in the prime material plane, and beyond. I will send my agents to disrupt and hairy his plan as much as possible, but as much as the curse of death surges through his body, the power of the chain god still grows within him. It is only a matter of time. If we are lucky, we may get a week.

I will do my best, but even, Even the Lord of Lies cannot promise such a thing. We'll just get back. We'll assess the situation. We'll figure out a plan. We can do this. We don't know how choice. We got to do it.

That does make it easier. We just have to do it. You're right. Sometimes the only way to do it is to fucking do it. Let's fucking do it then. Okay. Let's do it then. Are we ready to go?

We're ready to go. Until we meet again, Associate. And with a wave of his hand, suddenly, all you see is red as you are immediately frozen, encased in ruby. And with a single flash, you are immediately thrust forward through impossible distances and realms. And your consciousness returns. And you see red. You still see red. And you look up and it's not the red of the ruby and you see gold mixed in and the brown of bark as you see a dragon flame tree, an Edelwood tree.

You've returned to the valley of Barovia. The moon looms high over the valley of Barovia at night as Milo stirs from his rest. And he says, he had beautiful eyes. Ah, it's all right, buddy. We're almost home. We are? Oh, man. I can't wait to eat Mr. Mendel's souffle. Go back to sleep, buddy.

Okay. Where are we going to take this? He never made souffle. Is he okay? I think he's still delirious, honestly. He's looking pretty rough. I mean, he's always been a tiny kid, but he's really thin. I mean, they really must have did a number on him.

You poor thing. He'll be all right. It's tough. But we just got to get him somewhere safe. And, you know, we can come back here anytime to check on him. It'll be all right. Just somebody we trust. So who do we trust here? Do we get a sense of where we are?

Yes. So you look up and you are actually basically right outside the village of Barovia, really the city of Barovia with Barovia Castle at the center of them. And you look and you actually, you see as there are flickering torches all over the valley, as you see that there are the, that it seems as if for however long you've gone, that the army that you had left with has just recently returned that day to Borovia. As you see that you hear the sound of a creaking of wagons, wheels as a horse that had been bringing supplies, pulling a wagon with supplies, is making its

way. And you're up on a hill, several minutes walk down to the main road. So the castle is not up on the big mountain anymore. No, no, no, no, no. So that's all moors and ruins or whatever. So basically, that was the old where castle Ravenloft had been, right? So there's a castle that was built up beneath the cliffs, basically as the Borovia, the city of Borovia, basically grew out in those hundreds of years. Well, should we call on Alexi? I mean, yeah, if we can talk to him.

I mean, that's probably the safest place for the kids if he's willing to keep him somewhere safe. Well, let's get going. And what about her mother? Oh, right. Well, maybe we can find her people and then we'll, you know, resurrect him. It's a good idea.

Okay. You don't think there'll be, like, freaked out that we're just coming back with her hand, right? I mean, they probably will be, but we just have to explain the situation. We don't really have a choice. Okay, I just don't want to get any unnecessary fights. She died a hero. Yeah, but then they're going to say, oh, you cut our hero's hand off? I don't know. I don't know the, you know, how they do things, so...

That's fair. We'll handle it if they get up me. Which way? Make your way into the city. As you see that there's a handful of knights and soldiers that have been very grievously wounded, the see that there's a large medical station that's been erected and there's people bustling in and out of this area. You see one soldier walking on a makeshift crutch, probably after riding in a wagon all the way back to Borovia,

and you can see that there is some sort of, through his bandages, strange necrotic wounds that seem to be spreading. But you see that there are several clerics and paladins of the morning lore doing the best they can to be healing this horrible necrotic magic that the Shadar Khai had been using. You are greeted by knights of the morning Lord as they, you explain your situation to them, and they welcome you and they escort you into the castle. This is anything you'd like to do in the city before you head up?

I don't think I would. I think we would just go straight to Alexi. Okay. Yeah. And this is a relatively modest castle, very simple in its construction. definitely a little bit bigger than Castle Romagna, I believe I said what at one point, but not much. As you are ushered past the various guards, you can see that down one wing, there's a very, very, very nice, pristinely constructed and gilded cathedral to the Morning Lord that's been built on one wing and you're welcomed into the entrance hall. And you see that there is a large, a large portrait on the grand staircase. As you see that there are four figures that you recognize in this portrait.

And you recognize Barov von Zarovich, Ravanovia von Zarovich, and you recognize a younger version of Sergei, the slain paladin that was slumped up as when you were in the memory with the knights. And then the warlord that you had killed, Shradanya, very clearly a human, very clearly younger in. that these memories that you experience as other people come back to you as you recognize people from different visions all in one place as it hits you and you continue on your way and you're led to the audience hall and the doors open with a a loud creak as you hear voices discussing as you see Ervin Mardikoff the leader of this sect of the order of the feather right yeah the order of the feather the keepers of the feather

that's what it was the keepers of the feather thank you you yeah the keepers of the feather and you see floating just an inch above the ground the strange Deva known only as the abbot you as they see you all enter. And there's various guards and other officials from Barovia as they step back as Sergei sits at a very simple, it's not really a throne, it's just more of a war strategy chair. And he steps back as he stands up and he looks expectantly at you. As you return, only five, when you had left seven.

As you enter and he says, I am glad to see you all alive. We did not know what had happened after Castle Gloomvale disappeared. That's right. We're all alive for the most part. What happened in the battle? Did you all win?

We took massive casualties, but... We won once Castle Gloomvale disappeared. The many of the cowardly necromancers turned, many got devoured by their own ghouls. It was chaos on the battlefield. But we survived and routed them. We did not have time to conquer the city or occupy it.

But we prayed that it was the distraction you needed. I was trying every ability and power, communing with the morning Lord, attempting to communicate through the mist, if that's where you had been, to you, to you, to Sophia Anna. Where is Sophia in Camp Kreskov? Unfortunately, they felt. And you see him just stop. How did that happen? They were, um, they fought valiantly against King Vorak and, um, the, the Ravanovia. Escher's daughter was corrupted greatly by some sort of demon.

I didn't really follow all of it, but she was a horrible monster and Sophia on her, protecting us while we were fighting Ravanaugh. I'm bringing men to it. So Sopiana was an impossibly strong warrior. There could have been 20 men in her place and not have done as well. We're alive because of her. That's right. And Valesca? And he looks like expecting me.

Oh, and he'll see. Oh, thank. You saved Valesca she was alive. We were able to. And the other children. He's her the only two. me two. He's the one you're looking for?

Yes. Yeah, it's just my younger brother. And he steps forward and he gets out of his chair and you see Ervin and the Abbott look at each other as well as several of his other generals and they just all nod at each other and they make their way towards the back of the room and leave out a door, giving you all the audience hall and the large table. Upon seeing Velasco baby lives? Yes.

or his reaction to Velasca as he steps forward and he looks at this the sleeping girl and says, what did they do to you? She's still resting. She's still very weak. She's a little out of it, but I think she's okay.

She needs care. There's a lot of horrific experimentation and cruel torture. I mean, really evil stuff. All the other kids, they didn't survive. What she did? Here she's strong, and Milo too. And the Carrion king, and the princess.

The carrion king is definitely dead. Good. Fortunately, they fell. Still on my boots. Good. We finished off the trial, but some things happened, and we don't know where her body went, to be honest with you. But save the children you could.

We brought vengeance. Barovian vengeance. You finished the crusade we started. Sofiano would be pleased. And he runs a hand gently through what you now, to very clearly be his daughter's hair. As he hesitates and says, well, vengeance acquies. the morning lord served, the evil, vanquished the creatures of the night, burned in the

light and Veleska safe, it is all she could have asked for, and dying in battle is what she always wanted, I guess. Well, now that you mentioned that, we did preserve a part of her in case. he wanted her, her family, or in case those that cared about her, wanted her back. And Aris has the power to do that. She does. Yes. Perhaps the abbot has the same, but Aris is willing to, and I'll bring, I'll remove from the bag,

sort of her mummified hand. Or at the very least, you could maybe give her proper burial here. A shrine. Something to honor her. Instead of just leaving her where she fell. He looks and looks at Iris and says, I do not have the power to do that from just a hand. The abbot can very sparingly bring someone who has met a very untimely death,

but only days. Not from a hand. The hand is just there, like... Thank you for even with everything you have been through. So it is all over, then. I mean, what we set out to do is over. The reality of the whole situation is that we still have a lot to go. There are still threats. They're still evil.

He stops and he nods and he looks at the hand briefly until he has a force. gaze away from it. And he looks at you and he says, it is not much, but you have a home in Borovia as long as I am the count. As long as I rule this land, you are free to come and go.

This castle, these are resources, how we can help you for whatever lies next for you. You have saved our children. have saved our people from the enemies that have lurked at the outskirts of our way of life for centuries. The fear that we've lived with, since as long as I have had memories, you've put an end of that. I do not know what lies in store for Skethrenil, perhaps an ambitious count that is not as malicious and malevolent as Warwick will rise, but I will serve no King, Carion, or otherwise. Thank you.

No, no, we thank you. We couldn't have done what we did without all of your help, and all of the people's ears help. Could you be, I mean, what's stopping you from being the Lord of this land? Why do you need to be a count? His eyes open, wider, he says, I guess I never thought about it before. I do not know how to rule all of these strange elves. We have our dusk elf population here, but it's a different culture. I'm interested in my people. I guess you don't want to get involved in politics and arresting cats.

I would be assassinated almost immediately. Especially with all those cats. I would not authorize the use of undead labor. that they have grown so accustomed to. I just hope that you can keep your kingdom safe and that, you know, whoever replaces Vorok isn't even worse. I have a feeling there is not much that could be worse than Vorok. That's a fair point. I do have to ask, is there any way that you have a diamond worth at least a thousand gold pieces?

We might have one, but I'm not sure. You were just down in the town. I thought you wanted to get a bunch of mirrors. Yes. In our chapel we have diamonds. Is that what you wish? Do these lethal ones need more medical attention from our clerics and healers? Well, that's, I don't want to speak for you, but we have much to do to prepare for the coming war. And it'd be great if you could look after the children and keep them here very safe, because Felix has been looking a long time for Milo, and it would just be awful to finally save him and have something else. happened to it.

I don't... I can't express how difficult it's been searching for a night. I hate to just leave his side right after I've finally got him back. You don't have a choice. There are things that are much bigger than all of us that we have to attend to. If I can be of assistance and whatever you need, you let me know. I have allowed the evil conduct as dark machinations unchecked. For so long, I feel partly responsible.

I can have someone guide you to our chapel and you may see what we have there. We will heavily guard the children. They are safe here. No undead creatures, no werewolves, no one will. capture them while they are here in Borovia on this hallowed ground. Thank you. We appreciate that. I mean, one more thing is, I know you've experienced heavy losses, but there will be more fighting to come most likely. So just lots of demons, presumably. We're going to do our best to limit it.

but we've just been warned that we should try to, you know, let as many people know as possible to start preparing. I mean, we have a week, maybe less. Demons. We will bless as many weapons as possible. Your morning lord would probably be really useful against demons. Yeah, this is probably the best place. As much holy water as we can. How many demons?

Probably, like, more than you can count. An army? Endless. Countless. more than the tide of ghoul's Infinite Legion We don't know

You're okay We don't know We just been warned that it's a lot I would just prepare For worst case scenario The goal is not to For the people of this world To strike at them

It's to survive You have to do what you can To protect yourselves Don't go looking for a fight Just make sure that your people are safe Yeah All right I will

gather all of my all of my clerics you'll start producing as much holy water as we possibly can yeah as many blessed weapons as we can thank the gods

of light for this hollow ground thank the gods for dragon fire as he looks at all of you and he says I'm going to meet with the high priest and the captain of my guard. The castle is yours to Rome.

Make yourselves comfortable. Ask my staff, they know who you are. And we also found your gargoyles outside of the beast food. Oh, are they still ours? Like, is that how it works? we were able to bring them to the castle grounds. That's kind of cool. That is right all over the place and warn everybody.

That's not a bad idea. It's like really bulky carrier pigeons. Yeah, yes. Oh, but poor Escher. Well, no, Escher had bocephalus. Where is bocephalus? Do we know, out of character, do we know where bocephalus is? You knew you flew off.

I'm sure it's fine. We'll never see him again. It's just a thought. I mean, I think we could take some time to rest. and prepare and get Marlowe and Velasca settled in and get her acquainted with her mother again. If this works. All right, well, thank you. And can you have someone take us to the chapel?

Of course. Of course. And you know what? That is rude to me. I will take you myself. And you can see that his eyes, that he, his eyes are darting back and forth. and he stands up and he gestures to the main door and says, it is right this way.

As he takes you through the castle and you see now that you go back in the direction that you came in and you go down the wing that has that large cathedral that you had seen. And there are a few individuals, very clearly, farmers or shopkeepers that are there just kneeling in queues, praying to themselves, or rather praying to the morning Lord on their own, as you see that there's all sorts of iconography of the Morning Lord,

very similar to the images that you'd seen with the knights from the vision that you'd had. As you, as he takes you to a smaller offshoot room that has, that has a variety of bottles of holy water, various vestments and iconography and magical relics, similar, not dissimilar to what Sophia Anna had kept with her. The monster hunting, the holy symbols of the morning lord. And you see that there's various pieces of art, and you see that there is a,

small shrines of statues and you see that there is a statue that has a little like a pallon with a flowing blonde mane holding a sword made of sunlight itself raised up and you see on the plaque Count Sergei von Zarovich and you see that there is a you see that there is also a the There's also a very, or he leads you to a, a wall that has all sorts of strange, like, bowls and gems and that sort of thing. And he picks one up and hands it to you and says, this is what you required. Is it with 1,500 gold pieces? I mean, look at that thing. If you could, if I couldn't sell that thing for a thousand gold pieces, then my name wouldn't be Capricio, Big Dict of Cestine.

Oh, I mean, yeah, just a thousand gold pieces. Here you go. Oh, thank you. And I says, and this is the artifacts of our history. And you can see that we keep this guarded with some of our most skilled crusaders. This is the morning lord is the reason why we are able to survive here among the living. As we've toured through these shrines, seeing tombs and statues and, and the experiencing sort of the history of the relics of this castle, I'm looking out to, because I have a memory now. I've inhabited one of the knights that confronted Countess Tridonius.

Yeah. Do I see anything that tastes like a memory of that or references that or tells that story in the stone or anything along those lines? Just out of curiosity, really. You think back and you actually look out into the main cathedral and you see at each corner of the room is a beautiful statue in each corner. and there are statues of four knights, but of beautiful marble and gold as you recognize the four knights that you had inhabited. You're sure I can spot my,

I can point myself out and look and be like, oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. And they are in very heroic and noble poses as he guides you out, and you see that there's actually two small doorway, doorways off to the side where one,

there's iconography of the morning or everywhere, but there's basically two doors that split off to the side, and one seems to be some sort of draconic eye that's wreathed in flame above one door, and another that has the profile of a raven head. The Lorbarne may smiles as I see these details and I continue to absorb.

the history of this place as we continue to follow the Carol. Thank you for the diamond. Should probably get the little one settled before we do anything. That's a good idea. So where will they be staying? Oh, this way. And you look through the doorways as you pass, Caprice. And what perception check for me as you're enjoying this?

Oh, my goodness. as uh... That's my dee yes point out one month The perception Oh, not besieged I rolled a five, so give me a 21 Nice

You You look through the You look through the the doorway that has The strange draconic eye above it and you see that there's actually a small tree, you see a statue of what looks like a some sort of lizard-type person holding a lantern. You see that there are also on pedestals

what look like strange, like very old mechanical toys. And as you pass the room with the Raven, and I would say that being in knowing, this is very clear the iconography of the Raven, Actually, you know you've been blessed by both. You recognize Garrix and you recognize after being inundated, basically the symbol of Garrick's and the symbol of the Raven Queen, you look and you see that at the center of this room that has the Raven Queen on a large pedestal, there seems to be in a glass case or crystal case shining with light, like almost magically, this simmering silver light. you see what looks like a large, a large hairpin, a very large hairpin that is seemingly has been fractured and splintered, but also, but refused together with shimmering silver of some

kind. And there's all sorts of writings as he guides you through out of the chapel in these, these bits of history. As you enjoy that, that's a... These relics, they're very sacred. I hope that they are well protected in the face of things to come. Yes, the hairpin there is what caused the great return to a vantress. It was able to shatter the hold of a god worse than evil gods. as in the power of

of death and love this all of this power of the power of the divine and of good good honest people

is why we have survived as long as we have and this is the power of you all good honest people willing to do the right thing and he guides you to rooms you're able to secure rooms for yourselves rooms for the children.

Any food you wish is brought up. As he says, make yourselves at home. This is your home. As long as you need it. We never need it. Thank you. I will take the little girl. Yes. He does and he looks at her and

he just, we will find you a good healer. And he looks at you says, anything else you need. I don't think so, not right now. Find me. And he turns and he leaves, leaving you alone. Okay, but we should get Marlow Settle. I would find a spot for him. I don't know, like a, you know, just like a place for him to rest and, you know, where we could kind of set him up and let him know that if he needs anything, you could find someone to ask. Yeah, you do that. You settle him down and he says,

Hey, Felix. Yeah, my life. He'ssters. This castle's a lot less scary than the last. That's when I was in it. Yeah, yeah, I know, buddy. You're in good, you're in a good place. These are good people. Hey, can you check under my bed? Just for monsters and spiders?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. They're not going to be anything. Can you check under there? Yeah, I'll look right now. No, no, can you check under there? Underwear. God, you're stupid. Yeah, yeah, I never saw that one coming, Milo.

Yeah, you got me. You got me good, Milo. That was good. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. I never had a brothel. Do you have food? This kid's great.

Yeah, here, I got some food here, and if you need more, just call for anybody. Do you think, because it's a castle, they have like a big roast turkey. I'm sure they do. Can you ask him for a big roast turkey for me? I'll do that. A whole turkey? A whole turkey. Wow.

Wow. And he looks around and all of you. And he says, you guys remind me of my friends that I need to introduce. you to. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, buddy, we're gonna be here, we're gonna be here for a few days, presumably.

I don't really know what the next week is gonna entail, but we're gonna have to part again for a little bit. There's some things we gotta take care of. What? I know, I know. Trust me, I haven't stopped looking for you for so long. He snuggles into bed and like he looks like, uh, it's a, it's a almost comical with how much like the blankets and the pillows are around him. His head is just like this tiny little thing, like looking at you, especially with how small and like emaciated he is.

And he says, but I just got to see you again. I know. And hopefully we'll get to spend some time together over the next few days. But my friends and I have to take care of some stuff to make sure that everybody's going to be all right. Look, I'll let you know before we go. But we got to figure out what we got to do. And in the meantime, look, you can rest and eat all the turkey and that you feel like eating.

Are you sure they're going to bring turkey? Yeah, I'll make sure. Do you know if you swallow a pumpkin seed will grow inside you and you die? That's not true. Your belly explodes. How many times have I had to tell you that stuff's not true? That doesn't, that's not how that works. My friend Jeremy said it.

Jeremy doesn't know anything. Yeah, you're right. He's an idiot. Look, yeah, you've been through a lot, all right? Okay. Get some rest. I'll get the turkey. It'll be here. when you wake up and we're not going to leave without letting you know i'm you know i'll let you know as soon as we know what we're doing i'll fill you in okay i'm waiting for the turkey

his eyes are glued on the door now all right you do you wait for the turkey i'm waiting for the turkey i'm gonna like slowly get up off the bed and like take a few steps backwards and be like keep waiting for the turkey do you know turkeys are really great dancers what Yeah, they dance and that brings rain. Turkey can't dance. Well, what would you know? You're just a nerd that reads books. Yeah, I would know a lot about...

I get all my facts from my dreams. Have you ever seen a turkey dance? You don't know that I haven't. I would bet a lot of gold pieces you haven't. But you can't prove it. That's true. You got me there. You got me there.

Mr. Knowledgeman, you can't prove it. Just stay in bed. Okay. And the turkey will be. year soon and it won't be dancing. Aww. I'm right behind you and I slapped you on the back. Remind me to tell you about Newton's Laser Sword one time.

Hey, Milo? Yeah. I don't know if you know me. I'm Caprice. Oh, yeah, I overheard. Yeah, I'm Milo, by the way. I'm Milo Ackerman. We didn't really have a time to do official introductions.

I'm sorry. Here, please. No, I just want you to know that I'm here to help take care of your brother and make sure that we're all safe and good. and, you know, I put a gold piece on the bed. You know, if you ever need anything, you know, you should consider me a friend. I can tell you jokes. I can sing songs.

I can dance. I can, you know, it can turn into whoever you like, very literally. What songs do you know? Oh, I know all kinds of songs. I mean, you don't give me started. It could be fucking three hours. No, please, don't give him started. Hey, watch your language.

I mean, it could be F in three hours. sing me your best song well I thought I'd tell you a story but if you want to hear a song I mean you know he might as choice well I was calling you red you're going to be red you're red it's red

blue cat oh I get it okay red blue cat rock well I can sing a song if you want to go to sleep something in fact it even has red in the chorus I have to wait for turkey. Well, I'll be back to sing that song when Turkey has arrived. Also, let's stay away from

anything like false suckball mountain. Suckballed Mountain? No, don't repeat that. Don't repeat that. That's not nice. Suckball Mountain? Stop saying it. What? Should I stop saying Suckball Mountain? Milo. Felix. Just because you've been through a lot doesn't give you free reign to be uncouth. I think I heard Mr. Men will call you suckball mountain. You're being really cheeky. Roasty. Like that turkey, it's coming. And also cheeky's good.

That means you're feeling better, right, Milo? I'm feeling a little better. I've been eating this whole time, but it's not a lot. All right. I think I had a dream that I was like a bird or something. Is that why you have a taste for birds now? Am I a bird cannibal? I don't, I mean.

Whoa. Is he a bird cannibal? No, he's not a bird cannibal. He's a normal human child. Oh, okay. He brings up a good point. He might be a bird cannibal. He's definitely not a bird cannibal.

You can do whatever you want. I put another gold piece on the bed. Can I be a bird cannibal if I want? I mean, the sky's limit, man, I'm telling you. I'm going to write a story about a bird cannibal. I'll read it. Maybe I'll make a song about it. You got any more gold?

You just be good. Why are you giving him gold? You have any more gold? So we can buy candy. You know what, boys that age? You think he's buying candy? What is he buying? I don't know.

We're in the cat. I know what I was buying in that age. That's all I'm saying. Different story. All right, let's figure out what we got to do. I'll have him send you food. All right? Just stay here and rest up.

And if you need anything, call for somebody, they'll send for us. All right? Okay. Yeah. I'm going to wait for the turrets. Yep you promise Felix I know whoa whoa myel what's wrong oh I'm sick you're not sick are you sure you are you feeling right what are you doing and I'm gonna like I'm gonna like grab his face and like look at him what are you doing what's wrong an inside check oh shit I know what's that

I rolled very poorly I'm probably not insightful at all seven uh it feels like he's like choking or very ill I have a 29 I'm but I'm not he's very clearly faking he is a very clearly faking. He got a natural 20 on his deception check. Wait, I think he's f- I think he's choking? Yeah, or like he's very sick and like he's struggling to breathe, yeah.

Um, I would immediately like, like, I would like, stick my finger like in his mouth and like try to like depress his tongue. Oh, I take him back. I'm fine, I'm fine. I was messing with you. Don't do that. What is wrong with you? Unbelievable.

You're going to make me throw, you weirdo. Yeah, well, that's what you get. Do you watch your hands before you did that? No, and that's exactly the problem. Emergency's call for emergency situations. Oh, my God, fine. I need turkey. That was very cheeky.

Haven't you ever heard of the little boy who cried wolf? No, but there was a story about the little girl who cried a werewolf from some of the kid. It's a spin-off of the original tale, yes. Well, do you know how it ends? No, she never finished up. Well, I'll tell you, Auntie Lufty will tell you how it ends. When little boys and little girls pull shit like that, they get fed to the wolf or the whale wolf, depending on the story. So you think about that.

Yeah, you better watch out. Never do anything like that again. Yeah, I never will do anything like that ever again. That's good. I can see I've put the fear of something in you. Yeah, worlds are not cool at all. I would never. never want to find one or meet one ever. Definitely not. Never. Well, you'll just have to stay out of all of the woods

surrounding this castle, okay? Definitely don't go to the Beastwood. Why don't go there? The Beastwood? Yeah, no, no. Capit for the whole song of it. What? I mean, I did, but I will, what?

He sits up now, he's now sitting up. He was like very clearly ready for bed. Now he's sitting up. Oh. How about maybe, uh, The priest sells you that story now and you go to sleep. Yeah, tell me a story. Tell me a bedtime story.

Do you want a story? Are you up for that? Do you think you could maybe, you know... All right, all right. You've got to sit back down. You've got to settle in. You have to close your eyes. You know that we mentioned the Beastwood.

You'd probably sing the song about I'm not going there. I, the Beastwood song is not effective in a subjective. The Beastwood song. That's such a cool place. I love Beasts. I will sing you the Beastwood song tomorrow. Are there giraffes? I...

You're just going to have to wait to find out. Are the Girasswood Felix? There are no giraffes in the beastwood. It's a very dangerous place. Are there geese? No. There might be. I don't know.

That seems more reasonable. You said geese? Yeah. Yeah, probably. I don't think so. But geese are really mean. They're almost worse than the way. It's a little mature.

Oh, come on, Caprice. But the gallows humor of it, after everything that Milo's been through, I think is just the right thing. Fine. Just don't repeat anything you hear this guy say, all right? Okay. He's not a very good role model. That sounds very good. All right, this is not a joke, all right?

This is the story. A paladin, a cleric, and a prostitute walk into a tap. Sounds like a joke. This is just a story, all right? All right. Wait, what's a prostitute? No, no, no, no.

It's just for the sake of the story. It's your mom. I'm at a lawsuit. This is a woman who gives massages for coin. That's good. That's good. That's a good way to describe it. priest, thank you. Carry on with the story.

The paladin, the cleric and the prostitute, the massages, masseur, they sit down and the barkeep is cutting limes and he says, hold on, I got to go switch out the ale barrel, and he leaves. The paladin, he starts talking. He says,

he met a man who told him that he no longer believed in their God. So I explained to him about the fires of the nine hells of eternal damnation and instilled the fear of our God, into the man. The cleric. He says, you paladins and your fear, I had a similar man come to me, said cleric, I no longer believe in your God. However, our dogma teaches us to explore and question

our faith. So after some conversation in my wise counsel, he came to his own conclusion that he believed in our God. Then the paladin and the cleric both look at the masseuse, the the masseuse, and says, what about you? How would you make a man believe in our god? And the prostitute picks up the knife that the barkeep was using and says, oh, I just introduced them. And she stabs the cleric's hand, pinning them to the bar. The paladin makes a run for the door.

Her tongue extends out of her mouth, wraps around his ankles, and pulls him down to the floor. She digs his fingernails into the hardwood, but it's of no use. reels him back in. Her jaw unhinges, and she begins to swallow him whole like some great monster. He screams as his feet and legs begin to dissolve in her stomach acids. By the time she gets the paladin all the way down, the cleric has freed himself. They're holding the knife and says, Young lady, I don't want to hurt you, but if it means saving my life, I will. She lunges towards him and he stabs her in the belly. She looks down and smithes. miles and pulls the knife deep inside of herself.

The knife wound opens and wraps around the cleric's hand and begins absorbing him. Arm first, then the head, then the rest of the body. And now that she's consumed both the paladin and the cleric, her arm and leg bones begin to crack like firewood, and her ligaments and heads suck inside of herself. And then the barkeep comes back inside. and he sees this mound of pulsating flesh there at the bar. He walks over to it and sees the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, belly button right there on top. It begins to split open at the seams and peel.

And then out emerges the head of Gorgon Ramsey's. It was another episode of Tavern nightmares. Oh, you had three customers here. You didn't take their orders. The lines should have been back before you, before, before, the, but, you. They should have been done before you open them. You're back there, ding-donging around with ale barrels. You should have been taken care of the customers

that were here at your bar. Not to mention, you left a dangerous knife. Tell me you're gonna be liable for this. Shut it down. Boy, was he heated. Stunned silence. fills the room. What the hell?

Milo blinks. And he says, I would like turkey now, please. Oh no. Thanks, kid. I put another coin and I start to make my way out looking for turkey, I think. Oh, God. I'm just like staring in like absolutely complete like stunned silence. And then I just like turned towards the door and I look at my own and I say, we'll get that turkey for you. And I just proceed to the exit.

You do that and you leave him behind and he's like, I'm going to wait for turkey. as soon as we get outside in the hall what the nine hells was that yeah seriously what was that I told him a story that was just like ultra-violent to just like wipe clean everything that was going on that's obvious was it

what I don't get is why was Gorgon Ramsey's also the prostitute oh yeah Gorgon Ramsey's is a spirit that haunts the city of Galtega he shows up in many taverns is this form can take any appearance, really.

That sounds terrible. And he just eats people. Oh, yeah, no, I mean, among many things. Until we had this whole adventure, honestly, he was probably the thing, he was my crab man.

What's the name? Hector. Hector man, crab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know my spine was broken by him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was my Hector man crab. You know, just happy restaurants or taverns or whatever. They'd be doing their thing family owned, what have you, all of a sudden their food would start to rot, or their customers

would suddenly get really upset with them all the time for no reason, and then the apparition would appear. This was a story about that, but I sort of livened it up and made it kind of fun. He seemed into it. Didn't you see how he, like, pretended to choke for a moment? Kits bright as hell, he's fine. I look around and I'd like hopefully just like find an attention. like passing through the hall and I just stop and I say, can you get my younger brother's a turkey?

Not like a slice of turkey? Or like a whole turkey. Kids hungry. Isn't he 13? Yeah, but he'll eat it like, it'll be multiple meals. He's been through a lot. He said, whatever you all wanted. And he shuffles off. Thanks, I appreciate it.

Anyways, that was my reasoning. That was my reasoning. That was my reasoning. He's clearly on the threshold of maturity. Now's not the time to be baby handling him and pretending like he's been through a whole horrible situation. It's time for him to be like, oh yeah, that was fucking awful. But guess what?

Life goes on. I hope you're right. I don't disagree with that. That sounds okay. He's been through hopefully the worst experience of his life. And it's all up from here. Why we win? Jesus, yeah.

Right, provided we win. But I think I'm never going to win. We've won every time so far. All right. Hopefully he gets his turkey, and he gets some sleep and some rest. And then, you know, we've got to figure out what we need to do. Turkey is rich in triptophan. That's true.

He'll probably have a good snooze. Knock him right out. What's on the docket for us? What's next? Honestly, I'm kind of craving some turkey now. I don't know if you guys are hungry. Yeah, gosh. I mean, I could eat, I guess, yeah.

Let's do that and figure out what we need to do for the next two days. Let's pretend that we only have three days left. Just in case we only have three days left. And if we have more time than that, then we've over-prepared and we're fucking effing great. I mean, as long as the kid's not in your shot, it's fine. Oh, I thought that you were the... Oh, no, no, okay. Yeah, as long as we're fucking great.

You perplex me. I really liked Toa's idea, maybe not sending gargoyles, but we should send some messages around, so people are ready. Couldn't hurt. I just like, I'm a little concerned about what's going on in Zentra. I mean, who do we even contact? If we could send them a raven and let them know what's happened. I think that we need to do, at a high level, they at least need to know that, uh... Fuck a raven, we have magic. We can just send messages, yeah? There's nothing saying that anyone would even believe us. I mean... There's gotta be somebody.

in Zintra, you trust. Or nobody. I don't know. The place kind of sucked. Ravali's the only person I trust. To be honest. And he's not even there. He isn't in Mokra Kai? Right.

But I mean, we should definitely let him know what's going on. We could try to contact. Man, there's so many people. And all of their names are just fucking right out of my brain right now. I mean, it was only four years ago. I'm really fading fast here. The only person I can think of, for the prostitutes, but we talked to.

No, I'm thinking about Hart. We got to contact Hart. There's got to be more people in Erios that we can contact and let know. He's, there's heart, these young owl folk man, who was a real upstanding owl folkman. He was, and he became a new leader after we. He was so sweet. I couldn't remember his name. Yeah, we were kingmakers that day.

Oberos, I think. Oberos. That sounds fright to me. I don't know. was it? Thanks, I said Oprah. Oh, that's exactly right, yeah. How fuck do I remember that?

So I guess that saves us the trip of flying around all those places. Right. Right. It'd be nice to have me, should we let Brutus know? About what happened to... What?

I'm concerned about what would happen in the castle if Escher should return after his deal We don't know what he's up to. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned about that as well. Isn't there, if we signaled to Brutus, wouldn't he necessarily pass that on unknowingly to the count? Should he already be back and acting like normal? Well, maybe that's one place we too flung.

We know it's not that. I mean, we know it's a bit of a trip, but we can just fly over there and just take a quick look, see if he's back. I would like to talk to him if he was back. because necessarily he probably made some promises. So maybe, okay, we'll send messages to Ravali and Mugrakei, he can warn the orcs. We can send a message to obros to warn the hour of people, and then, and heart maybe to help as well. And then, I mean, as far as entry goes, all of those, you know, military times kind of creep me out. Wasn't there a disciplined woman who was very special and professional that we talked to, uh, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

second under, would she horribly killed or not? I can't, I can't remember. Most of them are. So there was one guy there was one guy that we dealt with right before we went to the Erios. He was like supposedly okay.

He was kind of a dick, and I can't remember his name. When we were in Bradley Furman. That's right. Bradley Freeman. He's still alive, right? He's alive. And then I'm trying to think there was the woman. There was a woman who, right? Yes. He was like the The forward general.

He led us to Erios. I'm trying to think of who you're referencing. The woman who we had to convince to take us to Zern in the first place. General Pardiso. Partizo. Pari so. Is she still alive? Yeah, she was still alive.

We trusted her. So we could message her as well. Portia. The only one that we killed was Cujada. Cujada dead. And Chumley got executed. Well, I was going to say there were so much. Chumley got exquisite.

I was going to say there were definitely some that got like busted for war crimes because they, you know, There was like all these shady dealings going on. Right. Um, we got, we got friends. Yeah, so Porsche's another one that we can message out of character. Um, because I'm not using my Felix was at the moment. Um, I'm trying to think if there's anybody else. Um, well, I mean, we didn't really, I mean, everybody else that we dealt with was in that sort of, you know, in the slums.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the, that's the, oh, what about that guy's telling? Oh, no, that was just Zern. You got the Selik. Yeah, I, you know, I don't really know how we're going to get stronger or prepare for any of this in one week. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wasn't thinking about, you know, the power that was held in those embersyricophagi. I mean, there's a lot to harness there.

No, I know, but no, they're horribly evil, Felix. I mean, that's, no, strike that from your mind right now. It's a terrible idea, and usually you have great ideas, so that is a, excuse my language, fucking horrible idea, Felix. I don't think there are any bad ideas right now. We're dealing with potentially the end of everything that we know. None except that one. That one is a bad idea.

That one's a really bad idea, Felix. I mean, we turned into horrible demons. No if you left to trail. A slimy trail. And there was a lot of power there. And I liked that it was gross. I'm just saying, I was very big and strong and angry, and I didn't like being angry. I don't know what we're going to do.

We're really, I feel like at a severe disadvantage here. I have at least one thing that I can be doing over the next couple days that could give us an edge. What's that? Well, I'm going to need to get a bunch of snow. And that's the reason why that I asked for that Ruby, but I may be able to create a form of backup for ourselves. Snow? Yeah, in order to create a kind of a construct through my magic. It's going to be my magnum, magnum, magnum opus.

Okay, that's good. That's good. How long does it take to prepare this? Does it melt? Do you make it out of snow? I'm going to have to sing for 12 hours without stopping. Wow. Oh.

When do you want to start that? Well, we should start it as late as possible before the danger begin. If we could just target when the danger starts and then 12 hours before then, that would be ideal. That's going to be tough to time. It's a tough target. I know. And that's part of the rhythm.

And I'm going to incorporate that into the song. It's going to be hard to sing for that long. I'm going to need a lot of water. Are you allowed like breaks to use the bathroom or you got to like sing that whole way? It's the whole way. It's the whole thing. You know, it's like, it's like working, uh, uh, it's like working on a roller coaster at Six Flags. You can't, you can't fucking leave for, for a bathroom break.

You don't get any food or water. Awful. You see as you walk through the castle, uh, there's like motivational quotes on, uh, motivational quotes on the wall from like Rovian history. And you see one that says a little shit in my pants won't stop me, Stradania. Yeah. Silent Shepard Morgan.

Take that. But it's my impression of Rich doing an impression of Shepard. Well, that's... Anyways, if I can succeed in the spell, then I will create another me. For how long? Forever. Until it's dead.

Like what he does? Don't you do that a little? I mean, I was just like mirror images. They're their illusions. You can create an illusion or you can create an actual other you? I can, I mean, I know I can do illusions. I can be me. I can be you.

I can be whoever you like. But if you, with this spell in particular, I'd spend a tremendous amount of energy and I'd consume this entire, like, this Ruby that we got from Azzie, right? Yeah, from it. Oh, Jesus. You too. And then we, from the snow, a version of myself with all of my abilities, all of my spells would appear. I'm sorry, I have a lot of questions.

This is fascinating. Is there, like, what if it, can it think for itself? What if it goes rogue? It obeys my commands. So it listens to you. But I can tell it to think for itself. And it would have the same spells that I have. Are there moral implications for creating a?

An exact copy of yourself? There are sexual implications. Okay, that's not what I was asking. What's wrong with you, Caprice? It's totally different. What? Why would you say that? Why wouldn't I say that?

You're not curious? If you had another Toa right here, you wouldn't be like... No, I wouldn't. Really? That's the difference between you and me, Toa. It just seems... I'd be all over other me. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like

There are two very distinct camps in this debate Iris is on my side Yeah Well, I mean, hey Look, that sounds Powerful And reality fabric bending

I'm blown away I don't know what else to say I'm just excited about the harmonization Like, think about what songs we could sing. Oh. Oh, that sounds so cool. But I don't want to trigger it too prematurely. I know he lasts forever, but once he dies, he dies.

Like, he can't heal. We can't cast magic on him and get it. Wait, he lasts forever? Yeah, yeah. If he never took any damage, he'd be around for 100 years. Well, what about- How long will you be around? Do you die of old age?

I don't think it ages. I think I age. You're messing around with some really powerful magic. We're getting up there. I've been working on this one particular song for a long time, and the more and more I started to get into the chord progression and the harmonization, I realized this isn't just in the same way that when I strike a chord and someone gets blasted 10 feet back, you know?

What's the difference between that? And a 12-hour version of that that creates another me. A lot. So hypothetically, if you died, but it didn't, should we, like, just be its friend? I would hope that you would feed it and take care of it. Give it little kisses on the cheek. Caprice, you're a lot more than just a pet. And what you're describing is that the second you is basically just a pet?

Well, I mean, when he shows- Do you not see the moral implications of this? When he shows up, he's probably going to be equally mercurial and cheeky, yeah. What if he dies? No, you die without having given him guidance. Is he just going to be like a potato? Oh, my God. See, you didn't think about these things.

I'm not going to die right after. As soon as he shows up, I'll give you guys all keys to the castle, and we can all drive the car, all right? Okay, that sounds fine. I don't like where this is going. He's like the tobacco. He summons it. Well, anyways, that's all I got. That's everything. I don't have any other plans other than just to like be prepared for battle. So if I can be doing anything, I feel like that or what other other strategies or tactics we care about?

Okay, so we'll send messages. We could fly, once we're done with that, we could fly to Castle Romagna. Yeah. I'll just make sure things are okay there. Um, and then I guess we just wait for further word from, you know, the Ruby guy. Mr. Ruby. Mr. Ruby? Ruby. Ruby. Ruby. Ruby. Yeah, you know.

Asma Deas. Let's call him Ruby Rod. He did have a big Ruby Row, didn't it? It's huge. Yeah, I don't think I've seen a rod that big, especially made of Ruby. Me neither. Yeah. Wow.

Anyways, we could all hope to have a Ruby Rob that big one day. Imagine how powerful you'd be with. Anyway. Are you going to be the big bad? You're going to steal his Ruby Rod and just suddenly just go around bashing people with your... Okay. You all called me stupid for the last time. No, it's literally fucking sound. I know we do this every fucking session, but it's Sauron from fellowship. It's so heavy, you need to anchor your elbow.

Yeah, your elbows tied to your side. It's very important. I need to go back and see the scene. Maybe you should watch the whole thing. Nah, just that same. No. We don't have time for that. It's in the first two minutes of the film.

I still don't think we have done with that. Then I can just go do something else. All right, well, before we resurrect Sophia, should we like, ask your family in the Bistani camp first, or should we just do it? You're asking more moral questions that I don't have the answers to. I feel like Iris can answer that question. Yeah.

Let's just do it. I do feel kind of like, always like, oh, she died exactly how she would have wanted to die. So, you know, that's cool. many chances do you get for that I don't think that she would have wanted to die I think she would want to be with the young girl and and her and her family and well okay I mean I know I wouldn't want to die she has the ability to you know not come back so as I understand well that's true she gets to yeah we should just

let her decide it's like reincarnation remember at least Ires said that before she brought that allq back as that half-lain it was really up to the York to come back and be a halfling and he decided, hell yeah, I'm going to be a halfling. I don't think he knew he was going into a halfling. I think he just knew he was coming back. He seemed pretty

pissed about being a halfling. Oh, great, I can't wait to get back to my giant teeth and huge cock. Oh, no! What's happened? That was what his life was like. Thank God he was able to redeem himself briefly.

Is there what ghosts think about? I miss my giant teeth. I missed it for the few moments my soul was away from my body. This cleric has done a, oh no. Oh, yeah. You could have seen this. What did I do to deserve this?

We were all thinking it, I just said it, that's all. I know. I was not saying that. When an orc, chiefton was transformed into Abling, you don't think that was the first thing he thought of was... No. No, it's not the first thing. I don't doubt that it's not the first thing he thought of. I doubt that it's the first thing that I ever would have thought of.

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Thank you. You all are. You're in the castle wherever you wish to be as you're planning your next moves, as you're planning to prepare, the apocalypse is beginning in a week, perhaps. Maybe less. Probably less. We've got to get the messages out, and we've got to prepare for war. So I think only Iris has a message, right? So we'll have Iris send all the messages.

Okay. I'll just burn all her spells lots real quick. So how many are we sending? Well, we counted. How many? How many companies are? Erios, two. Yeah, two to Urios.

One to Ravali. One to Ravali. At least one or two to Zentra. Yep. Probably just the one. So that's four. Yep. I'd like to send one to Kirsten.

To Kyrgyzai. Oh, yeah. Can message travel across the planes? Can we send anything to her mom? To lift you to... I don't know. It would say in the spell's description. I don't think so.

I do not believe it. That seems very powerful. I don't think so either. Do you know the message? Nope. Thanks, Iris. Is it second level or third? Second level.

Yes. It's like up here. It might be third. Two or three for sure. Message, message. I don't see it. She don't have it. Send it.

Well, oh, sending. Messages the cantrip. Is it? Oh, yeah. Message a cantrap. Yeah. But,

na, na, na, na, message is a cantrip. Whoa. I have sending. Sending his third level. I'm sending stones. I'm gonna shun-

Her hair, is that you all rocky-talkies? Yeah, I guess I did. That needs to stay- Shelfones. They're called shell phones in Galtica. God damn it. Thanks for sharing. It's a phone.

It's phonic. It's a phone. Oh, yeah, fair enough. Sending is third level. Wow. Okay. Hear that up? So we are sending.

So we have Definitely Ravali Uh Uh Orobos For sure Oberos, yeah Oberos.

Do we need to send one to heart? Yeah. I was just trying to be Okay, we'll send one to heart. I feel like this is the time to be like, hey, anybody we've ever met? Yeah. Prepare your anus.

Brother Gruber, bite the pillow. This is not a threat. Prepare your anus. Prepar your anus. Brother Gruber Who else? The two generals that we mentioned in Central Oh, right. We should do to both.

Yep. So Furman and Portia. So that's six messages that we've said. And I think that's it, right? Yes. And we're doing this all before a long rest. Yes. Presumably. We woke up and then teleported. So we probably have all day to, like, just chill out and relax. I'm having turkey, but...

All the talk of turkey made me very very... hungry for turkey. Okay, so we send those messages. What is the... I was the full context of the message, so I'm clear. Duffin. Oh. Iris will say, oh, Jesus. I'm a cat. I'm a cat. I'm a cat. I am a cat. I am a cat. I am a cat. I hate Mondays, but I do love lasagna. Apocalypse now. Prepare to it all. movie titles. A new challenge. Deep impact. Armageddon.

Apocalypse now, the day after tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. Dude where's my car. The assassination of Jesse James by the Calabomber for... Oh, not at worst. That's good. No, but actually it would be... Great film.

Incoming Apocalypse in less than a week. Infinite demons. Infinite demons. Invading a ventras. Prepare. Armies. Gather strength. Holy water.

I mentioned demons. Yeah. You know. If we are... We don't help me. We don't know how to defeat demons. No. What's a demon?

Oh, spelled dating. Damon? The fuck. I don't know how many words I have left, but it would be something else like... Just... It doesn't forget that way. Anyway, that's it. This is not a drill.

Okay, so you're... Got it, got it. Basically just letting them know that the apocalypse is coming. Prepare to fight metric assloads of demons. No jokies. For real. Six people across the ventral suddenly look down on their phones and see an amber alert. Yeah, the equivalent of, basically.

Maybe we could say, the chain god is dead, right? Chain God is dead. Something worse coming, you know. And we wouldn't mention Pizzou, but maybe a greater demon, like, coming. Good news is, bad news. You hear back from Rvali, he says he'll inform the new war chief and that he'll be glad to kill as many demons as possible to avenge Holnhart and the lodge. You get a... Did Holmard die? Who?

You know that the seal was broken. Right, we actually don't know their fate. Did who die? Holhart. The big... Oh! The... When we went to the lodge.

The Strongbow and the Strongbow and the Strongbow. Yeah, and the Chick and the Strongbow. The daughter and the brother. Oh, gosh. She probably did, too. We, like, don't know their fate, but it probably isn't good. That's not good. I like them.

That sucks. Well, I guess, okay. I liked him at first. No, the brother. I liked the brother at first, and then he was kind of old. Yeah. So, yeah, he said, avenge them and the lodge. You hear back from Oberos.

Yeah. Yeah. You message. I forgot that was a thing. And he says that they will have their aromancers do use as much protective magic as they can

to hopefully fight back against the demons. And he's appreciative. Heart says that, you know, she'll fight to the last breath and she promises. And hey, how are you? Do it right, Mike.

Say, hey, how are you guys doing? Are you going to get out of the World? Oh, no, no. I'm going to fight you. The last breath. I'm going to fight. This was so nice. I miss her.

little voice and her little face. Oh, we forgot to message FartBox. Oh, no. We could always have virus send him a message. I don't know what he would add besides, wow, I'm worthless,

and I was supposed to die. My name is Fartbox. We should also send a message to Zorbeck. What about him? Oh, no. Yeah. Iris, can you send a message

to Zorbeck? If you've got the energy for it, can you just be like, what the hell? What is that? I have to get that checked out. Zorbeck has seen things in corner of room. The shadow people again.

You message Jamity and all. That's right, Jamity. We could have done a whole bottle episode. Loan, perfect. Pea Daddy. Why didn't we think of that? That's really good. Pea daddy.

That's really good. Or pee-Ditty. We've still got time. You got time. Uh, you, uh, way better. You hear back from, um, you hear back from a Pardiso, uh, general Pardiso, and she, uh, says, Oh, to those two. Okay, yeah.

Yeah, I think we would mention, Zern's fucking dead. Zern is dead. You won't tell them about the demon thing. We'll say Zern is dead. Okay, so not with the demon fight. No. Okay. We're not gonna mention that he's, he,

turned into a horrible demon and whatever. Okay, we should have mentioned like the demon apocalypse. They're still an apocalypse. Oh, yeah. Don't mention the demon apocalypse. Yes. But we want to let them know that Zern is dead just so that like, if there's a fake Zern right now, like, Pizzuzzi pretending to be Zern now that we know that Pizzu can like

deceive. We want to let them know that Zern's dead. She's like lying in bed next to a Zern right now. Whoops. Ooh. You hear from Paradiso. Uh, you hear from Paradeso. Uh,

You hear from Verde Pardiso and says the, the remnants of the Horn Legion, uh, Zentra, uh, I'll, uh, I'll let the, I'll let the high, um, he says, I'll let the high general know. And you hear back from Furman, we are already aware, stand down, no further action needed. Bull shit. I hate that guy. fucking hate that guy. That's great.

Everything's good. I never liked that, dude. To be fair, just to, just to be fair, someone we were speaking to mentioned that Zendra was like no good. Was it, was it Asmadeus who said something about Zendra? And because he suggested Barovia instead. that you'd have no they said that you'd have no friends in Yes

Okay And so that's what I thought Paradeso said that mentioned that it was basically the remnants of the Horn Legion in Baphomet I'll let the High General know And we know

Weird We know that the 13th seal was under Zentra Right And we know that the seal was broken Yes And we never knew why We never found that how

Learned why Yeah Something's fucking Yeah. It has been since day one. Always has been. Who else? One to... Brother Grada. Brother. Brother grubba. You hear, thank La Pouard. We have all this holy ale. Do me the voice. I don't even remember what he sounds like. Besides just German Jollyman numbers.

Why didn't he this German old honeypaws? That's a... Probably. He's actually her horrible. He's actually her horrible. Oh. Oh, I miss you. I suppose we can spare drops of a holy aim.

Oh, the Korovagans. The Grinch. Oh, he sounds good. He sounds like you're doing good. He gave him string a sentence together. Oh, he's good old brother. Oh, brother grub. The demons may consume us, but will be full of holy ale.

They may eat us, but they would get drunk. Iris would add also, how's Amos doing? Yeah. Oh, we should tell her family too. Who's family? Iris's family. Yeah, that's actually probably very reasonable. I mean, are they gonna attack the whole world?

I guess they might. Yeah, it's apocalypse. It's not localized apocalypse. Oh, I wish, if you could also send a message to my dad. He hasn't heard from me in a letter for him for like six months. I'm sure he's very concerned. You hear back will say that. OEMIS is alive and well, and the newest member of our order.

Good for him. I don't know if you, I don't think he had the German accent. Oh, you didn't? I think he was just a good. Was he more like, oh, this honeyball? No, I think he was more, I think it was like your Gragus impression. I think it was more just like, oh, hey, I can't remember.

Yeah, I don't remember either. We'll have to go back and watch, yeah. Yeah, I don't think it was German X. No, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe. It's been too many mutants. Yeah, it's been many things. Yeah, I'm just an old honey pole.

Yeah, it was like that. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Mrs. Fry. You see? Yeah, that's the voice. Yeah. Demons. You know,

dunk my hand in the Holyayl and smack him across the face. James Kimmy. Yeah, that's up. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's up. Perfect. Perfect.

Oh, my name is fine. He's finally apologizing with acts of penance of the faith of La Brevard. It's quite nice. He's taken to his studies a lot more dutifully than Lufti did. Tell her that. Iris would. Yeah.

He doesn't do that. He's just joking. That's how we do things. You hear back from Jammy. Huh? Who the fuck was that? We do not let Jamie. I wonder where Jamie is right about.

She's just how she's just, she has face down in a ditch. He's a guy. He's somewhere, backwards on a horse. Yeah, no, literally, it's like the opening of season two of Deadwood. Yeah. We're like, you're panning to all of your allies and James, what the fuck was that?

And just collapses back. I love it. Is that everybody? I think so. That's basically all of Striga. Yeah. Well, I mean, I could let, you know, the Maca County of my nuns now. I think you should.

They kind of rude not to your family. Yeah, but they haven't heard from me. And if all of a sudden, you know, it's like, oh, hey, there's a demon apocalypse. Now, I'd rather just deal with him and let them keep living in their peace. Just like die blissfully ignorant. A man, some cat just told me that there's gonna be demons raining from the sky. That's pretty wild. Oh, that isn't sound good.

But doesn't sound very good. The wind spirits will protect us, man. Yeah, man, should we do something about that? Nah, it'll be fine. That's fair. Just let them. Better not knowing. I mean, we could tell my dad in Galtica, but like, he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

He runs a music instrument shop. but he's not going to be honestly, Galtago will be fine. Of any of the places in the mantras, they're the ones who give the most fucks about anybody coming in

and giving them shit. So I think we're going to be all right. It's like cockroaches. They'll just survive. We're very independent people. If anyone gives us what for, we give them right back.

Yeah. Very heavily armed society. It's like Philadelphia. The demons are going to be like, this place is shit. Fuck right off. No, they've all got like fucking flin-flow. Yeah, exactly. Whoa, we mess with the wrong city.

They show up to fuck shit up. Oh, I think you already hit this one. You fuck what they were talking about. All those gaulskins are there. They start snapping these demons. Yeah, I'm not worried about help. You fuck with Caprized. You fuck with the rest of us.

Meet me out back up. Spocker. Jose. Bal and nails. Chains and shit. Good times. Good times. Okay. So messages are sent. All right. Well, we should maybe,

and now that Aris has used all that magical ability now, she'll be ready to resurrect Sophia. Maybe we should do that in the chapel? What else can we milk her for? What else you got? Let me look at her. Shake her down. All your spell slots.

Just look at that flag, real quick. Anything else we need for us? Let's get us. Put all your spell slots in the bag. Nobody gets hurt. Oh, we could have a summon a celestial. Oh, we can talk to a celestial. Oh, that sounds good.

I don't know, it seems kind of disrespectful. Oh, no, this celestial can fly. You can pick us up and fly us around. Oh, that'd be so cool. Wee. You just do that. You summon a quadal. Hey, I'm snake.

Snake. You're not caught up what I was expecting. For an hour, I think Toa rides a snake around in the castle. Yay, we are. The never-ending story. Wow. I like how you make Toe into Cartman when he's like having fun. Oh, Castle Benito, wow.

Lifted on us. Oh, my God, they're so cool. At the room of the castle is Castle Bonita. Oh, my shit. Welcome to Castle, Bonita, the city of Barovo. You can have the complimentary lamb breakfast in the morning. Oh, geez.

Do you think we should, we should maybe just find a room with the bed and just resurrect you there so that she's already, you know, at peace? Yeah, I think if I was going to be resurrected, I'd want to be resurrected. I'd want to be resurrected in the bed. Not like in the middle of a chapel, that seems kind of lame. Especially not in the middle of a chapel. You don't think that would be helpful? Maybe if you like, well, I guess it is her god. She might feel a peace, you know?

No. Presumably she sort of snuck around these holes. No offense. They probably have some back doors and secret tunnels to get her in and out, you know? I mean, no offense. What? I'm confused.

It doesn't matter. Let's move on. and focus on the resurrection. So are we going to put her on a dais in the church, or are we going to put her on a bed where she can be all comfy and whatnot? Oh, I'm there. That's why she had behalf of the Raven Jail

because she was secretly sleeping with Alexei von Sorovic. Echoes in the cabin, the chapel. Sleeping, sleeping, Lexi, Lexi, Lexi, Lexi, Lexi, poinking, poignant, poignant. Oh, my gosh. What do you think? What are you?

Let's do it. the church we go to the church okay you do that uh and i'll switch to chapel music here it will help if she's closest to her god if there's an altar yeah there is true uh i believe it let me just do like a little bit of stats to raise them what do we do for uh I think we just had you do that over and over again for the whole time. You see several members of the clergy of the church of the morning lord walk past you and the church is actually empty as they are making their way deeper into the rectory to presumably under the orders of Count von Zarovich. to bless as much water as they possibly can. And it's very quiet.

You see the statues of these knights watching over you, the smaller chapels to the other, there's the two other gods in this space off to the side. And there is an altar, sorry, chap, if I smack the microphone, you, that there is an altar with bits of iconography. You see, that it'd be very easy to get to, and there's a number of, like, cups and other holy

relicom that you'd be able to move if he'd care to. Oh, right, well. Yeah, we would just prepare a space. I'm gonna place the hand down on this altar, and, you know, I'm guessing if it's like the Catholicism analog, you know, it'll just sort of, you know, make sure there's the cloth down, and I'll put the mummified hand in the middle. And I'll sort of back up, and it takes an hour to cast. Okay. And so...

Catholic's been resurrected. Well... I would probably just, like, read a book in the hour. Like, you know, Iris is working on this. I don't know the faith, so I'll fit in the pew. Yeah, I'll sit next to you and hope for the best. Yeah. I would stand, like, behind Iris, but, like, near enough where I could jump in an assist.

And I know that Iris would never ask me to, and I would probably just fuck shoot up, but I would be ready to jump in just in case that one time she'd need my help. It's very tall of you. In case it kind of worked and the hand came to life, but nothing else. I should probably check. Iris, you need any incense? I can do one of these. Yeah, I've got wine. It's not holy wine, but...

It counts. It might help, I don't know. You have some wife? Yeah. Oh, thank you. Grabbing the cups for the holy water. Do you want to read the spell so you know? No.

You don't need to. It'll work, right? Cassidy's the hour and the durations. So once after the hour, it's instantaneous. She has to touch the hand. Ew. It poses all mortal wounds and restores all missing body parts, and in this case, it's just all of the rest of her.

Jesus. The target takes a minus four penalty to all attack rolls, saving throws, and ability checks. Every time the target finishes a long rest, the penalty is reduced by one until it disappears. So she's going to be really weak. Yeah. If she had been dead for more than a year,

Iris wouldn't be able to basically do anything for the rest of the day. Oh my gosh. But because she died more recently, yeah, well, fine. Okay. Iris places and she prays and she puts out some of her relics to Anubis. And her eyes flash with gold. and they glow brightly as you feel the power of the divine here. You feel the warm sand, a whip around you,

as the light from the desert sun fills the space, along with the light of mourning, the shimmering light of the Raven Queen even and the blazing dragons fire. It feels as if there's the combined divine presence. This is a very holy place, as it floods the room and suddenly this divine sand whips around Iris. Anubis returned to Arcadia, restored, is at full power now.

Ancatep finally punished for his crimes as the sand swirls around the hand and continues to form out an arm. And then it turns into a pile. And then it starts to shape as if a child was making a sandcast. or sand sculpture as the sand forms the shape of a body. As the ritual concludes, as the eyes, the light glow goes out of the eyes, and in a gust of magical wind blast through the space and all the sand disappears. And laying on the altar is the resurrected, unconscious form of Sophia. Oh, shit.

I'll rush up to Sophia out immediately. Are you? How do you fear? Um, she looks at all of you. Let me put the chapel music back on. Oh. Oh, she's probably... Yeah, I immediately pull out like a blanket, right?

You do that. And I'll show. Yeah, there's like a holy shroud somewhere there that all unfold. And I don't know if it's disrespectful or not to the religion. I'm just going to throw it over. Yeah, you do that. And as you do that, and as you... you run up to her as you throw it up, and she literally jolts forward and like

stends a hand, as if to throw an axe or a dagger or a holy symbol at a vampire child. As she looks around and she almost like grips you, just having no idea where she is. No, no, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. You're out of the castle. You're safe. safe, we've saved Velasca, and everything is okay. She's safe, she's alive. She's safe and alive, and she's resting in a room just down,

down the hallway. We're back in Castle Borovia. Thank the morning, Lord. And the weight of being resurrected and he feels of the weight of having everything with Castle Gloomvale and looking for Velasca finally has cut up with her in this moment of her rebirth in sand. as she collapses into your arms. Can you pull back the veil and tell us in, you know, Gloomvale is still in the dread domain? Yeah. And all her body, minus the hand, was just laying there.

Is that body still there too? Yes. This is a new body, like crafted from the weave. Yeah. Interesting. Wow. It's in a state of decomposition. I would make the same adjudication or judgment as DM if I were in my decision.

Because it doesn't say anything about, like, like the existing body. No. No. It's a new body. So yeah, in Hara Keir, Holy shit. In Hara Keir is Sophie amongst the corpses of dozens of vampire children.

There's some existential crisis. Her corpse is rotting while she's alive. Yeah. And well. Yeah. It's kind of the ship of Theseus. Yeah, I was gonna say. And it'll probably dry out a little bit in my last awhile.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a desert. And if anyone knew well enough and cared enough, they could have that body to, to use a scrying spell, and it would probably attach to Sofia. But if you tried to resurrect that corpse,

you couldn't because she's her soul back in the body. You could animate it, though. It's, oh, you could. You could have to fight your, like, undead body. Necromancy villains are super sexy and fucked up. It's a great concept. Super sexy and fucked up

because of the chest that we just walked through. There's a matrix. Preputations! So I'm going to wrap her sort of tightly with whatever shroud that I found. in the chapel. And I'll say, thank you, Arras. This is amazing.

Valesca's going to be so happy to see her mom. There's got to be a place that we can take her for her to rest. I mean, I can't imagine the toll if this is taken on her. You're right. Here, let me, I'm going to pick her up. So I'll pick her up, and I would want to take her to, not the same room that Velasca's in, because I might be too much, but like the room next door.

You do that. There is one next door. There is actually a nurse that's leaving Velasca's room. as she follows you into the room and offers her assistance as well to look after Sophia Ana now that she's been resurrected. Yeah, and just keep an eye on her. She should be fully healthy, according to Iris. But, you know, she's been through a lot, and I left to implement. And so I'm going to set her in the bed, and I'm going to leave all of her...

Oh, yeah. You know, Simon Belmont implements her whips and her crosses and her axes that do this. some, you know, her holy water. She wakes up and she starts doing this. Does she find a pork chop in the middle of the wall for no reason? There's the turkey. Oh, the turkey! Yes!

There was a turkey in this wall, I'd eat it. She smashes the wall in Milo's room. Ha! You're like turkey, oh. And then fucking death shows up. Yeah. So I would leave all of her stuff there. But I would let the nurse know, like, I'll leave some very dangerous weapons in there.

I think she probably won't use them, but, you know, just wanted to let you know in case she sort of instinctually grabs an axe or across or something. She eyes that. I will maybe apply some incentives, just in case that's probably... That seems wise. Yeah. Um, she lives to get her things. All right. Shall we fly?

fly fly? It's a castle of monia. It's the next step of our plan that we crafted. To the gargoyles. What? Oh my gosh. Toe. I started doing this. Really taking charge. Holy shit. I'm gonna throw a holy water every few feet just to make sure that there aren't any secret doors. Okay, and then when we're finally ready to travel, we all crouch in the corner until a tornado comes over and picks us up and then takes us to our next destination Simon's Quest

Castlevania 2 on NES Bidges Um Yeah I'm down with the Was that in the California Super Cousselavenia 4? No that I was referencing just now is a very stupid moment in Simon's Quest Where most people got stuck

If you like rented it from Blockbuster What you were you were supposed to go around and figure out from the NPC's suggestions that you needed to prey at a specific spot in a, and then a tornado would take you to the next level. Well, like, no hint. Who in a platformer is going to go into a corner and do this for more than a second? Right. But you had to hold it for like 10 seconds in order for the tornado to show up, and it's fucking

horseshit. I don't want to do rail, remind me an adventures and chill of another instance just like that, another game. Because... I'm going to write it down with here. Just remind me. Remind me of the waiting. I have another one too. So there's some good ones about that. Anyways, so are we flying? I think we should I mean

it's only probably the middle of the day at this point, right? Or maybe afternoon. It wouldn't take us very long to get over there. I'm just worried about what we do if we do find Escher there. You'll think you probably about a day if you look to get there. A day of flying. Yeah, was that not what I said something? Again, it's been so long. We traveled on foot the first time. No, you flew on our goals to get to Borovia. Yeah, you did. No, no, no, but am I, have I missed

plot? What castle were you going to? Yes. To Gasormor, Moria, which is Ethel Castle, the first time you went there, you were on foot, yes. The first time we were on foot, because I remember we crossed the bridge, and it was a bridge of nightmares. Right. Thank you. I'll say that with, you feel like with the timing of the essence,

you could probably get there into the evening. Oh, yeah, because that would chew up a lot of time to go all the way there all the way back. But not, I'm not opposed to doing it, but. Hold on. I mean, they probably have like wizards here and stuff, right? Maybe we should ask if there's a teleportation circle somewhere here, and you can add it to you, you know, or, you know, write it down. Yeah, I was going to do that. I'm a little tapped today, but we could come back.

Well, I'm saying that you could write it down, we could fly there now. Yep, we can go back. And we just, we could have it. And I'm sure Asher has one in his basement. We probably should have, you know, checked before he maybe died. All right, well, uh, I'll talk to some people and see what I can find here. All right, and I'll go look for the gargoyles,

and maybe just meet me. Just come back and meet us there, and if we decided to go, we can go. Roger. I will look for anybody, attendance, that could point me to the direction to somebody who might know if Barovia, you know, the greater area of Barovia.

In this castle, there is a permanent teleportation circle. I would say that you ask, and many people don't know what you're talking about, but there is actually a, a sage of the Morning Lord that tells you that there is a small garden with a that's in the courtyard with a

a dragon flame tree, an adlewood tray where that trace into the ground there's an equivalent of a transutation circle. I would go there and use my super mega brain memorize the secret. Yeah, it's actually gargoyles that's out in the courtyard, so you're able to all go together, and you see that off to the side by the stables, like, the horse are like, what the fuck. And the gargoyles, all the gargoyles are just completely dormant, just staring forward. All right, well, let's fly.

Oh, what was the name of my gargoyle? Yeah, I don't even know if I wrote that down. It would be so rude if I forgot. I have to go back past the Akurian Dyer animals. It's been a while. Past the fusion. What session? There's icebound notes.

It's too easy. Yours is Conradge. Oh, that's right. Conabone. Lufte's is lascivia. That checks out. I believe Felix has Loopy. Oh, that's cute.

Right. And Pogsworth is Caprices. Oh, that's right. I remember that guy. Great guy. And Gerald is irises. Hey, buddy, it's great to see you. It's been a while.

I think Codd's worse, how's it going? He held up okay. As soon as each of you approaches, the ruins, you remember that there had been kind of like an alchemical binding to your essences. Yeah. They light up all over the gargoles and they just, and each of their unique gargoyle

features reacts to you very obediently. and they lean forward their wings furl back even more as they welcome you on if you care to ride. Real quick, before we get on the gargoyles? Sure. Between us, if the gargoyles start acting strange because we still don't know where Esher's at or and these are Escher's creations, we all need a plan to not die if we fall out of the sky. Have we all got that? I've got backup plans for sure.

I don't, but I hope one of you guys saves me. That'd be nice. I will save you if that happens, Lutti. Lifty can just float around, you know. Yeah, but we might be falling hundreds of feet. But then I'll let it. She's 40% air. Yeah, I'll be fine.

Don't worry. I'm 40% devil. Iris, you got a plan? Okay, great. You're fine. All right, we're fine. Sounds good, Iris. God, Iris is such a chat.

No, actually, I need a lot of assistance. Oh, no, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. I'll climb up on my gargwell. You do. And you feel the strange, they're the handholds and they hum with the energy. And just in the same innate way, you're able to use your own magical abilities. You all have magic in some way or another.

You feel like you're able to harness and command these gargoyles. And they are very, they very obediently take off into the sky and fly through the air. If you decide to fly north. Yeah. We'll start heading north. You leave the... valley of Borovia behind you. I'm singing the entire time we're in the air.

I'm singing, oh yeah, oh, my, my. I'm a stunning strike till the day I die. Drunk monk is the way I ride. And I, you can do this for all of the classes, but I will continue to enjoy the ride. You ride and you fly through the sky on these gargoyles. You see the dragons fire trees, the Adelwood trees,

shimmering in the sunlight as the sun is cresting, I guess it's been morning and you're able to, it's in the daytime and it's just this beautiful valley of golds and reds as you fly north and leave it behind you. You see that the various castles, often the small towns that have been built around them in the wilderness of Skethernell seems to be far less active. All of the undead caravans going back and forth you don't see. It seems to be very quiet, strangely quiet. And eventually, the sun sets and the gloom,

the gloom and swallowed the sun behind you after you leave the valley, but the darkness gets more and more thick and all-consuming, as even the moon is shrouded by the clouds, as you finally see the silhouette of Castle Remornea standing tall on the mountain that has been built upon, the most remote castle of all of Skethrenil. I have a question. Yeah. Did we know if Escher built this castle himself, or this was a remnant that came over and He just squatted him.

He was gifted it by Vorok, and he made the heavy modifications. I knew that he did a lot of tinkering. I just didn't know if he built it with his bare hands. He made all like the tech upgrades. Right, right. He installed the traps on the bridge. He was in the traps in the chemical fire. Brought to life the gargoyles.

All of the interior would have been completely redone. Basically a reno, but it had good bones. Yeah. That's good. That's important. Oh, I had another question. Yeah. The Deva.

Yeah. Do they, like, die of old age eventually or are they immortal? They're immortal. So he will just chill there forever. The Abbott? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, at least as far as you're, as far as you know.

Yeah. Unless someone kills him, right? So it's like we had killed him, right? Instead of cleansing him in Straud, right? So they can be killed. Yes. They're not invulnerable. They're just immortal.

They're like elves from Lord of the Rings. Okay. Pre third age. Gotcha. Invincibility is a very rare and special thing in dungeons and dragons. I would think so. I would think so. Okay. And ask my questions. We fly. Okay. Fly, you fools.

You see, it's very quiet. As you see all of the gargoyles, and you know that Brutus had been left in charge to create more gargoyles, and there's dozens of them on the parapets built, just leering off into the darkness on all sides. You'd seen many flying about, but they all seem to just be completely dormant. As you are able to land in the courtyard, the doors are closed as your gargoyles allow you to dismount. There we are. Yeah, just keep your wits about you and let's, you know, we don't know what we're going to walk into here. Let's not act any weird. As soon as we see Brutus, we'll just ask him how things are going and we'll go from there.

Well, if we see Escher, we shouldn't treat him like he's all of a sudden a horrible evil guy. We know that Zern made a deal, and we know that Caprice said, you know, P-Man three times, and it didn't turn him immediately evil either. But we just need to be on guard. I know, but I just mean that we shouldn't be like me. No, I agree. He hasn't been transformed into evil. He may have agreed to evil, but that doesn't mean he is evil right now. I completely agree.

I'm mostly interested whether or not that Brutus was able to preserve our board game so we could return to... You guys remember? We're playing knife and monopoly. Let's... Can we finish that game? We were like two rounds from the end. No, I think you were playing daybreak, Emporium.

The third edition or the fourth edition? I don't know. I wasn't playing. Luffy certainly was... I feel like we had pieces from three, and we just started... Well, hopefully it'll be preserved so we can pick up where we left off, because I can't remember at all.

That was like 18... Why don't we just say you won? Well, that'd be fine. I mean, you know, if you want to be a loser. Let's go. We walk into the castle. This is where we can play games, okay? This is where we can't have nice things. We'll talk about it later, okay? You, uh, you, uh, as you approach the stairs, you get a, the grinding of the doors as they open. And you see the, the long shadow cast.

that's horned in wing with a swishing tail. And then you see the small form of the small goblin-sized gargoyle named Brutus, Major Domo Brutus. And he says, Oh, welcome back, friends. How is your trip? Heroin, to say the least. How are things here, Brutus?

Oh, things are really great as they've always been, keeping the car show all looking spiffy for Master Master Escher and yeah absolutely. So he hasn't returned yet. Oh no, he's with you all right? No, he's not with us. Oh, I'm talking about him now. Oh, it's obviously very flattering. It's kind of close surprisingly.

Both of these actions are kind of, you know. Oh, you're pretty similar, are they? I'll tell we can talk like this now from that one. Oh, that might change. Toro, why are you talking like that? That's crazy. Oh, here we go. Are you sick?

Hey, man. Hey, man. You're sick? Oh, no. Tell me, tell me. I'm not sick. Huh, who, man. Got a good guy.

All right. So, unfortunately, um, issue, uh, he's not with us because he is somewhere else. You really fucked up my accent. He's somewhere else. Oh, I'm sorry. Shall I keep talking? You can keep talking. Oh, I left you board games exactly where you left it. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Well, I mean... For what it's worth, he helped us a lot, and we don't know that he's gone for good. He could be perfectly fine wherever he is, but we are worried about him and miss him. And maybe he'll turn up. Oh, yeah, I hope he does turn. up, that would be very nice. I would like to see him again. Just don't. I'm doing a very good job to keep a look at the castle and all the blockheads

and we had plenty of magical reagents. All of the defenses are re-armed and through even new armaments. Great. That's great. Yeah. Don't do caution. Don't stop doing that because he could come back any day. I think, crucially, you prepare defensively. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, You think about what could attack the castle. You don't think about building machines of war or anything that could go out into Schethranil or into the rest of the Strata. You just make sure that you keep a tidy home,

something that is defensible. Okay, a tidy home. We did just finally finish getting all of that soggy bread out of the guest room. That was a lot more of a tricky thing than I thought it was going to be. I'd have bring in some big guns. Yeah, yeah.

No, I mean, I've never seen so much soggy bread in my whole life, and I hope to never see that site ever again. Thank you. It was a lot of bread. To be fair, it was quite a lot of bread, and I'm shocked you managed to get it all out. Oh, no, so am I. I was like, oh, it'll take us weeks, and then it did.

Well, so, I mean, the good news is that he might have saved the princess. Oh, did you see the princess? Did you see the mistress? Oh, did you say hello from me? Did you say hello from Brutus? We didn't really get a chance. There's a lot going on, you know. It was sort of sudden.

It was very obvious, though, that she was thinking of you and missed you deeply. I, we can tell. Oh, you're right. Yeah, she definitely thought fondly of you. We know that for sure. Oh, that's very nice. I'm so happy to hear that

It makes me the happiest Things ever since she left You know I haven't been in me right Blocks, Don't Ed? This guy Well, so I'm glad that you're doing well We wanted to make sure that Escher wasn't here

In case he happened to come back to this place Why would he come back here if he wasn't with you? We got split up? Simple as that? Right. We weren't sure And we came to check on him and make sure that everything was all right. I don't know.

He might be hiding somewhere. I don't know. If you need to look around, feel free. I can take you wherever you would like to go. Thank you. Does he have ways to get in and out of the castle without you knowing about it? Oh, of course. He's a master of the castle.

Yes. We all look at each other very late. Scooby-D-style. Dun-d-d-d-d-d-dun. I mean, that's... Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. There's a wall, and it's like, uh,

uh, it, uh, it, uh, I mean, I don't, really look for signs that maybe he's been here, but I don't, I can't imagine that he would,

why? Why would he feel the need to sneak in and out? It doesn't really make any sense to me. Maybe if he's trying to avoid us, and in case he knew we might check, and he wants to, you know, keep Brutus in the dark, hopefully he's not listening to me of this

but he is standing right there British earmuffs What would I not be able to hear Earmuffs? I mean if he really wanted If Escher really wanted to come and go unnoticed week I have a confession for full transparency because I am an entirely stone sentence

These ears are entirely aesthetic I believe they use the word I can hear from my entire stone person I can hear from me belly I can hear from the tip of me tail that's fine. I don't think it matters. Even if you can't. We appreciate the honesty.

What I was saying is that if he really wanted to come and go unnoticed, he would do it, and we would never know the wiser. I believe that. I mean, he would know this place better than anyone, and we would never catch on. Are there any rooms of the last week that you haven't gone into, like the Alchemy Lab or into the dungeons where he might have come in for resources or something privately and not informed you. I know that sounds maybe a little offensive

for him not to have told you, but these are dire times. I think that the master of the castle would kill the major domo of the castle. Because he would say, Oh, Brutus, here, fetch me more war, fetch me more bear blood,

fetch me my nose slippers, fetch me my dirty book. Hypothetically. She's like bareblood? Bear blood, yes. Hypothetically, major domo Brutus, hypothetically, is there a room you haven't looked in since he left? I mean, I'll occasionally poke my head in, but there's a lot of rooms here.

I mean, you really expect me to take all the time? I mean, for the purposes of janitorial work, yes. However, Oh, if I've been a bad major domo? Oh, no, you've been fine. No, no, no. If you mean a bad major domo, we'd call you a minor domo. You're still major in my heart, Brutus.

You're fine. But I'm asking you to answer the question. Is there a room in the last few days that you haven't got into that he could find a respite or healing? Like the lap, maybe. Oh, well, he just never lets me go into his private coolers. I'll just... That's it. We've got to go in there.

Yeah, let's go there. Well, we might have to check that out so that we can make sure that everything's all... They're very private. Yeah. He says, Brutus, stay out. I mean, these are desks. and they call for pretty desperate matters. Leave the blood outside.

We just need to check that room and any other rooms like it. Fetch me a Danish, Brutus. Then we'll be on our way. Ooh, a Danish sounds nice. And he just would look at it because he doesn't even eat danishes. He just wanted me to do it. Are you gonna let us go in the room? Of course he's going to let us go in the room.

Oh, I guess so. Look how helpful he is. I'm not supposed to go in this. Oh, you can stay outside. And we'll just check real quick. You are awfully helpful, like Luffy said. Oh. Yeah, I don't like being helpful.

I know you do. That's why I know that you're going to help us, because you're just, like, so good at your job. So. So maybe if you could take us to his private chamber, then, yeah, we could go check it out real quick. Okay, I'll do that right away. Let's go.

And if you have a Danish, I wouldn't say no. Oh, we have to go all the way up to the kitchen. to grab a Danish. No, the Danish can wait. This is more important, Luffy. Come on. I'm just saying, you know, drop us off, and then maybe you scoot and get the Danish.

That's what you can do. Oh, grab a Danish. We'll use, investigate the provocry. But I like fruit, not cheese. It makes me bloated. And you might as well make it too. Fruit, really? You know, this isn't rooting

and you're not hazel, right? All right, if it's a cheese Danish or any Danish is fine with me. You know, two Danish. You know, Felix, in Dungeons and Dragons, is a little bit of all of us, you know, inside each of our character. So there's nothing wrong with, you know, self-insuring a little bit of Danish hunger. I'm sorry.

You're right. I just says rich, forcefully. I could use a Danish too. This is how I get when I get hungry. You're not yourself when you're hungry. You're not you. You're not much of Phoenix. Thank you.

I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. We'll go to the chambers. A round of Danish is for everyone. Okay. So you want a Danish. You want a fruit.

You like a... All we have is like poison berries. poison or boison poison poison poison yeah I don't want that I think he said poison I think poison poison poison poison poison no I think he said poison no I'm pretty sure you're saying poison to be rolling the dice with poisonous plants

cheese Danish because what kind of mad person prefer a fruit damage I'm with the cheese I'll take a cheese danish too poison berry poison berry No no cheese for me I always want cheese I just have cheese okay If I get tootie it's all on all of you Cheese. Your 40% went.

Yeah, no one will notice. Why have I not canonically had a gas problem this whole campaign? I also am coming to the end of this campaign being like, man, I miss so many things that I want to do. Four cheese danishes. This is going to make my second canonically gassy care. Wow, there are full cheeses in the Danish? No.

I've got to have a full cheese pizza in a four cheese fat bread and full cheese ravioli. But let's talk about it on the way. But I didn't have a full cheese Danish, Felix. To the chambers. I feel like there's a song in here. What kind of cheese isn't a cheese cheese? Oh, I guess I'll make a full cheese. We could use ball cheese.

We could use bear cheese. I wanted to be sweet. Don't tell us what kind of cheese. Or goat cheese. No, we don't got goats here. Just please don't tell us what kind of cheese. It is. Just bring us cheese Danish.

We got wolf cheese. Oh, it's cream cheese. That was my assumption. Yeah, that's what I'll figure too. You got cream cheese? Speaking of Creamy wolf cheese. So what you're telling me is you milked wolves and you created cheese. And then you took that cheese and you mixed it with a vinegar and left it sit overnight in order to create sour cream cheese.

And that's what it's going to go into this statement. If you want full cheese, it's. for mammals I got. How long is this going to take when you get these danishes? It's going to take a long time for you to make this? Look, I'm sorry I said anything. I said just go. I can just get the milk.

No, and I need you to do the whole process. You're going to have to go and really take your time. Oh, shit, I'll do it. Okay, I'll make sure I'll do it however you want. Fresh wolf's milk is what he's asking for. Okay, fresh wolf's milk. Got it. Yeah.

I mean, if you're going to do a Danish. Oh, do you know the secret? Do you know how? How you milk a wolf? Very carefully. Oh, that was my joke. He bought me to be caprice to it, too, so that's a good one. I was looking for something more clever.

I don't know. Okay, leave the way, produce, let's go. Okay, okay. This way, his private course will go down, and it's right by the dungeon so he could feast on all the prisoners very easily. Convenient. Exactly. You're not. And so he leads you through the castle and you see that there is a large, he arrives at the end of a long hallway that gets almost, it feels like it gets narrower. And it's very dark and you see that there is, that there's a very heavy wooden door that is kind of shimmering. And it's beautifully etched and gilded with, with a sigil of the Kreskov's sigil

that he had made for himself, the outline of Castle Remornia, as he says, this is it, this is it. This is where he says, hey, Brutus, get away from here. All right, well, just you go fetch the things we ask for, and we'll go in. We appreciate you bringing us here. Okay.

Thank you for, thank you for coming with me, Oldish way. Thank you. Okay. And he reaches up and there's a large metal lever that's by the door. And it's like, there's actually two. There's a normal size and then his height. And he reaches up and he pulls that and you hear as the wooden door, it shimmers and flashes as it opens. And it's very dark inside and he says, okay, I light one of my fingers and I hold a small flame up in the air in front of the camera

And I you know, I just make some fire to like that okay and don't tell me what's in now. I'm not supposed to know That's fine. We won't Dainee's anything. Oh my god everybody was like a hundred more brutuses just like like like unanimated like waiting yeah, it's like hundreds of clones Joe, Joe, Joe, ho, ho, ho, ho. All right, everybody just stay close, and we'll see what we find, all right? Right behind you. Okay, and it's very dark, and as you all enter the room,

as the darkness is penetrated by the light, but it's barely, it should, the flame should be illuminating more than it is, as you enter. this room and it's incredibly quiet as you enter, as you as the light catches on stone. And it's not the stone of the walls. You see a leering face looking at you

as there's a huge gargoyle, not nearly as massive as the ones that you had mounted, but person size, certainly, leering forward. And you see that there's another one and another one is as there's a body, your foot kicks a bottle that just rolls across and clatters with more as the light illuminates and there's an open coffin.

The center of this room is completely empty. As you see, as you enter the center of this room looking around and then suddenly hear a as the door slams behind you. And you hear Brutus's voice call out. No. God. I'm sorry, Otis! As...

As... How do you do this? As the... Alchemical rooms light up all in the room on the ceiling, the floor. They snake out as green humming alchemical flame glows all around as you then see the... As lights flash all in these gargoyles. eyes as they then all surround you, you realize that Major Domo Brutus has led you to a trap as the gargoyles starts to animate and lunge forward. And that's where we won the session.

God damn it, Brutus. We got outsmarted by a literal stone hunk of rock. We got outsmarted by and we didn't get our Danishes. And we didn't get Danishes. I am. I think he's I still think he's going to get the Danish shift. But we'll just be dead. Yeah. I can't believe that little fucker trick does. Just following orders, the question is... Fucking new.

From... Ooh. Escher's 100% back here. 100%. I mean, he's the only one that could issue orders, right? Yeah. No, I mean, Brutus wouldn't... Yeah.

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