Legends of Avantris - Cuttlefish Sweepstakes | Ep. 1 | Squid Game in D&D!

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

A ragtag band of hardened criminals must compete in a strange game for their freedom and ultimate power.   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/9idfw7Z-ZQM?si=OSHgL4wO7jTgciLE

Welcome to Legends of Aventrists. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to beautiful Goodberry Square for the 43rd Grand Fleaim Flow Prime Material Playing Championship, brought to you by Everwood's Emporium. I'm Tank Hammerfall, and joining me, as always, is the one and only Verit Day. Hello there. Before we begin, let's take a moment to recap the astounding journey of the Mighty Trunks, who won the 42nd Championship just four short years ago. Verit, what a series of games we witnessed.

It was like watching a herd of elephants waltzing through a field of flaming tulips. You betcha. In game one, the trunks faced off against the cobald flame skulls, immediately dominating the field four zero. Coach Eggerman really had them working like a well-oiled machine from day one. Like trying to fit a square peg into a circular maze. You ever try that tank? No.

In game two, they went up against the hat-wing crawling. was, finishing 4-1. The trunks were proving they weren't just stomping around. They had some finesse too. Finesse, like trying to catch a live fish with a greasy spaghetti strainer. And game three, against

the dire wolves, was a real nail biter. The trunks clinched it four to three, showing determination in the face of fierce opposition. You know, Tank, it's like when you try to peel an orange and suddenly you juggling pineapple. That's how unpredictable it was.

Well put, Barrett. And finally, in Game 4 against the former champions, the Bloodhawks, the mighty Trump sealed the deal with a 4-2 victory. It was an impressive display of teamwork and strategy. Teamwork, like synchronized swimming with walruses. You don't see that every day, Tank, not even on Tuesdays. You know, it was later revealed that the Bloodhawks were a sinister cult of elves attempting to use their wishes in service of their dark lord.

Indeed, Barrett, though I don't think that was conveyed very successfully at the time. That's true. But here's the kicker. Instead, each member of the Mighty Trunks was granted a wish by a powerful gin after the victory, which begs the question, where are the mighty, mighty trunks now? Word on the street is that B.A. P. Desert died tragically two days after founding the now-famous Budweiser beer brewing company by jumping into a volcano

after mistakenly assuming that a magical ring of lava breathing would protect him from the intense heat. Just incredible. And what of Gina Isabella Martini, Dominus Redi, Riccioli Day? Unclear, we were married for a few months, but she no longer returns my cell phone calls.

Forgive me, I had no idea. It is what it is. Little has known about the whereabouts of Amelia Tootel's, Lapsfield either. Though there are rumors that she went mad after reading a book that foretold her own death. What we do know, of course, is that Louise Trunkwell is now one of the nobles of Galtega having married into the extremely wealthy Everwood family.

I understand they'll be attending the games this week. Incredible. What can you tell us about Babar B. B. B. Barbar, one of the mighty Trump's frontmen? Currently serving life in prison for aggravated criminal damage, drug trafficking, drug possession, fraud and financial crimes, public intoxication, kidnapping, and second-degree murder. Unreal. And of course it goes without saying that ravioli gazpacho would go on as owner of the absolutely

prolific gazpacho restaurant franchise, many of which can be found right here in Galctica. I love that Lamprodotto, it's so moist. Gospachos really does offer quality food, home cooking, and choices like salads, wonderful hot appetizers, tantalizing combination flatters, and a variety of distinctive dishes serve right to your table. They hold to tradition, yet dinged with the times. And Coach Eggman? Retired, living happily with his wife and daughter. Well, there you have it, folks.

The mighty trunks against all odds triumphed in the 42nd Grand Prime Material Plain Flein'Fle Championship. What a spectacle it was. You can't make this stuff up, thank you. It's like trying to spaghetti. I don't think anyone could have said it better, Verit. Stay tuned, folks. Wherever they may be, the mighty trunks have certainly missed the 43rd Grand Fleet Flow Prime Material Land Championship,

brought to you by Everwood's Emporium. Our first game today is the Giff, aberrant-mind weevils, versus the Giff-abhorrent-spined Devils, which will sure be a city of confusing time for all. Regardless, as soon as you hear the Kings whistle, things are going to be decided very quickly. here in beautiful Goodberry Square.

Thanks for watching. Well done. That was incredible. Oh, that was incredible. That was just better than we ever could have expected. What the hell? Oh, man, I missed this. Oh, holy shit.

I don't really know what I expected, but I'm impressed. Can we queue up the Gaspacho theme song? You'll have to find whatever beneath Darkwing episode that is. It's been a hard few weeks. Well, months. Well, years. You all find yourselves in the confines of Galtica State Penitentiary. A sprawling fortress perched on a small, rocky island just off the coast of the city of Galtica.

Drab, gray walls rise high all around you. The prison yard, where you now stand, is a desolate expanse enclosed by, towering guard towers, each manned by powerful sentries capable of quelling any hint of escape. In this prison, the inmates are a diverse array of magical creatures, and the security precautions are as fantastical as the beings it confines. Each of you wears a heavy cloth uniform featuring horizontal stripes of orange and white, yet somehow still as dull as the fortifications that surround you. The distant clanging of doors, and muted conversations underscore the isolation of this formidable institution.

Today, the art has been transformed into a makeshift arena. The score is tied three to three. You are not mere spectators. Rather, you are players not just serving your various criminal sentences, but serving up the ringer in this final round against another team of inmates. Though not as grand as the championship occurring on the coast, only a few miles from here now, you are still drenched with sweat from exertion

trying to earn bragging rights for the month, as well as the handful of gambles you've made. For these next few moments, the walls and bars disappear, and all you can focus on is the game. I need everyone to roll for initiative. Oh! That's funny.

And because I only have one combat playlist, we're going to be listening to ice bands. Surprisingly effective. Yeah, okay. into it. When your turn starts for this round, I'd like to hear a little bit about you. I'd like to learn your name. I'd like to hear sort of what you look like. I would like to also understand for what you've been put in prison for. Maybe you've been here for a while, maybe only a short time, maybe a small crime or a large crime. But I'd like to understand

exactly what has incarcerated you. That is the prompt that we will be thrust upon you as soon as we figure out in what order. So, 20 to 30. We're not very fast. I'm not very fast. I'm not very fast. I'm not very fast. I'm 15. Walrus is up. 14.

14. 13. 13. For Felip. 13 for Babbar. 10 to 15? Seven. Seven. Seven also. You might go first.

And the way I'm going to do this is I'm literally just going to, It is going to be This. And this. Nice. Rock and roll. Walrus.

The walrus. We need to also configure ourselves in the actual game space here. So just let me swing by here and put my boys into their own configuration. And you'll have to put yourselves in a

configuration. Typically there's a line behind which you normally need to... I don't remember the rules of four. I will happily explain them. We need some goaltenders. We need several goaltenders because the ball... As a very, I think. Because the ball can enter from any of the nine squares

that's surrounded. Oh, my God. I'll be in the very front as the goalie. This is the goal. Yeah, that's the bell tower. The blue is the whole thing is the goal. It's around ago. So it's good to crowd around, and then usually you have

like some front men who race forward and try to take, like the hard hitters are the ones to try to like hit the ball forward as opposed to the defensive ones. When the ball comes at you, you can make a dexterity saving throw to try to dodge out of the way, but you can also choose to get hit by it,

taking a certain amount of damage. Are you a sorcerer too? Yeah. Is this good? Yeah, this is Rengar's logging. That's great. Let's go the camera over here. I should have the, you know your law.

You know your law. You know your law. I do. As long as we have enough of a deflection so we don't get fucking smoked right out of the gate here. So just so the folks at home. I just don't really know how to play. This is Glitzy the Bank Sparks. This is Fell Pip.

This is Jean-Claude Elefonte. This is Babar B. Babar B. And this is the Walrus. Thank you. You can attempt to hit the ball. Attempt to hit the ball, though, too. Yes. Okay.

So the ball has something that I call momentum points, Mace. And so when you hit it, you add how much damage you do to the ball, and that's how many squares or five feet increments it's going to fly forward. And it can bounce, you can choose whether you're sending it left or right or straight, and try to ricochet it into the target, which is the blue circle there on the battle map. Yep, yep. And if you hit it, then you win the game. Because right now it's tied three to three.

So we're only doing one round of this for the sake of Fensies. That being said, if it's coming at you, you can use your reaction to try and hit it, and its AC is equal to its current momentum. So if it was like coming at you with 15, then you'd be able to try and hit it, and its AC would be 15, and you can maybe smack it away, adding to its existing momentum.

And if it hits you or you let it hit you, it does half of its momentum in non-lethal bludgeoning damage. I'm sure there's some more that I'm forgetting, but those are the basics. I used to, in the original chapters of Mighty Trunks, I had an idea that there was going to be this pitch paddle that you could try to use to, like, knock people down. But you guys never used it because you didn't want to. And so that doesn't exist in perhaps this prison game. Any questions? I'm sure we'll all have questions. You'll pick it up as we play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if we decide that we are enjoying ourselves, we don't have to end it in one round, or it could just end short. Walrus, top of the round. What do you look like? Why are you in prison? And what is your name?

Do-hoo! Well, I'm the Walrus. I was thrown in jail for various Walrus-related crimes. Notably, attempting to free various walrus and penguins and dolphins and beluga and other walrus-related animals from this coltkin zoo

I didn't get very far because my lair is under the Arctic theme pot-pot-golf course without a business 20 years ago it's very difficult to get a baluga down the street so I'm a winner Erroladron, a very large rotund man with a great big, bushy white beard and mustache.

Bussy beard. Normally he'd be wearing these sort of sorcerer-looking robes, but instead he's in his prison garb. Yep. They do humor him and they let him basically tie around his head, these like dangling walrus tusks as a way to keep him, you know. It's a way to give him some enrichment in prison. And he is a sorcerer with kind of Arctic and cold powers.

And anything else that I'm missing? Nope, while you're in prison, what you look like, sort of a bit about who you are. And you just go by the walrus. You don't have a fuller, like, Walrus Smith or? Well, he goes by the walrus, but he tries not to tell people his actual man. Okay. You know.

Great. I hit the bowl. What do I do? Do I hit the ball? You'll have to make it to the ball, and then you can hit it. Its current H.C. is a resting eight. So if I hit it here or here, will that determine the angle?

So it'll bounce this way. That's correct. From your position, you would be able to hit it. It's a very good angle, actually. Yeah, you could hit it this way, you could hit it straight, you could hit it that way. I'm gonna hit it from that direction right there. I fucking love that.

They've got two defenders. We can just smash this baby home. All right, so it's an attack roll? It is an attack roll. Ooh! Oh no. You have to have a plus one. Plus one?

It's only eight. You only have to get eight. Yeah, you go. But do I get a plus at all? Yeah, why not? Is it not just based on- We used to have to determine what attack we were using. So like if you were using fireball or-

No, we have paddles, right? Yeah, I'm gonna say that you have all of you something to hit the ball. I have a mall. Yeah. Just use your base weapon. Remember us using a tatton abilities. You can use spells.

You can use spells. Otherwise, you were giving the patterns that are like a and this would be very amazing. Just a base pledging. Just use a pantrip. 15. 15 hits. If I'm using my spell modifier,

okay. And they do 1D10, I think if I remember. Someone go to Patreon and pull up the Fleanflow. That's right. You can find the rules on Patreon. Hey. That looks big, but I can't tell. Nine points of damage.

Nine points of damage, making its momentum 17 now. So now we're gonna count down how many squares it's gonna go. 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10. Okay, and at AC 10, what letter is that? S. S. Silas is gonna use their reaction to attempt to hit it. And they are absolutely going to smack it back with how much damage am I doing here?

That's gonna be this much. They're gonna hit it back with 12 points. That's 22. That gets us up to 22. Which direction? Which direction? Right back or a different direction. They're gonna send it north-west.

21, 2019, 18, 17, 16. Ooh. We get a ricochet, roll a D8. That's right. I will do that. Oh, any members. Thank God somebody does. Five.

It's gonna go south. 1D10 confirmed, thank you, South. 15, 14, 13, 13, 12. 1110. K has an opportunity? They're going to see that it's coming to rest and let it come to close. 10. 9, 8, 7, 6. I think it just could, we stop at 8 because it's not resting 8. That's how we did this.

I don't remember. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Oh, D10 for the goalie, D6 for everybody else for damage. Thank you, so. There you go. Thank you.

He's got the PDF up right now. Are they getting it right? Nah, we're not. That means it's actually Silas turn, and seeing that the ball is where it is, Silas is simply going to walk to the middle of the board, as many squares forward as possible, towards how much is moving?

Towards Walrus, 30 feet. The Walrus! Yeah, perfect. That'll be the conclusion of their turn, which brings us to, oh. Another monsters. Do I have more monsters than I should have? One, two, strong, down four.

And then swap that baron monsters. Yeah. this is the problem yeah okay fell pip philip you're up well

honestly I was putting here I'm innocent they never they didn't have enough evidence but the jury was really bad a bunch of young people

were going missing going into the woods hearing voices with some great beat that stalks the wilderness and you know they may have committed horrible ritual sacrifices

murdering each other and taking the various organs and body parts to assemble the great dark lord and bring his his great true form in a dark rain. And I was accused of leading some sort of terrible blood cult and corrupting the youth, which is terribly untrue, terrible tragedy with music to my ears. I mean, just, oh, the youth, poise, oh, the youth. I'm a little sater. I got some, you know, I look like a black goat sater.

I'm like four feet tall. And it's just a terrible tragedy. I'm just a nice guy. It's just a nice guy who, you know, fell hip-fipped in. nothing wrong. Free of feedback. Oh boy.

Start doing this. So what do I... If it's over here, I can't really do anything, right? Not unless you want to hit it with a magical effect. Obviously, there would be some sort of muting magic in this space, but because I

want you to feel like a powerful hero at the same time, feel free to use your spells and whatnot. You know, I... This is an observed game. There are a lot of... Don't be afraid to get a defensive position as well. But within the conflict finds of the arena, anything goes. As long as we have enough defenders on the old bell.

Can I hit with spells? You attack the enemy? Non-lethal damage online. We're already in prison. That's one more rap. Add it to the sheet. That's not his character. That's his mace.

Throw it on my tad. I already got life in prison. Put him in the ground. I'll try it up. I can't believe I had to. Oh, he's big bad criminals. Oh, it's a terrible tragedy. As I trot up, this horrible, like, blight will grow all over me as like wicker and like gnarled branches will cover me as I use my spore Jewad wild shape.

And I will, my eyes will suddenly put. turn like a pitch black and you'll hear, and then earth trembles underneath them. And these horrible grasping branches, as you'll hear the wailing tortured souls of young people. Please, no, I wanted me to kill my friends. He's erupting earth right here. A 20-foot cube.

A 20-foot cube. With that, you basically hit the ball any direction you want, I'd say. So pick a direction and see how much damage you do. I want to send it this way. I fucking love that. Love that. Is that possible? Yeah.

Does it need to... It's a Dex 15. Because it's an area of effect, I'm going to do a scattered bag. I love that. Okay. Roll a D8 for me. Shevin. Oh, Sheaven.

That's West. So I should roll for damage. Jesus. 21 points of bludgeoning damage. So that's 29. if it fails. Total, right? And then also to all these guys here.

Let me also keep track of these fuckers. Jeez. Who did you hit? K and L. K and B. And B. And B. Oh, does it as it a B as well? It's 20. It's four squares.

1, 2, 3, 4. K.L. and B. Okay. That's Kai, Luna, and Bain. Bain. What terrible ritual sacrifice them? All take 21 points of damage? Just straight out of the gate? The dexiety saving throw.

Jesus. All right. That's a fail. DC is a 15. That's a fail. And that's a fail. All three fail. So 21, yeah.

It's difficult terrain until it's clear. Does the ball fail? It would fail automatically. It's not making a dexterity saving throw. 29. It now goes to 29. That's right. It's going west.

Yeah. That's a lot of momentum. Yep. 28, 27. Yep. Bouncing straight back. Bouncing straight back. 26, 25 to L. Okay, dexterity on saving throw.

They mathematically cannot succeed. Ooh! Thank you, Andy. No problem. And so which one is getting struck? L gets struck by the ball. They take half of 21. Oh, 20.

10. 8, 7, 6, 25. 25 is the momentum. So they take... They can't use their reaction to try and hit it. Oh, that's interesting. Let's try that. Thank you.

You're welcome. Natural one. Damn. It was my too close. What's the momentum? 25. 25. And so they take...

12. 12. 12. 12. 12. And then does it scatter? Yes, and then it scatters. I will roll a scatter.

A Dye, it's a one. Does it lose its half the momentum or does it maintain the momentum? They just take the damage. It loses one momentum. So that's 24, 23, 22, 21, 2019, 18, 17. Scatter die. Six. That works.

2019, 18, 17, 16 K. He'll try to hit it. Didn't K already use the rear. Oh, no, Silas. Yeah, um, first of all, Luna's unconscious. And so should I just remove the body from the, uh, uh, making, yeah. Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's not gonna matter, so. Oh, what a tip. Oh, no, you'd be more careful. What's, what's, 16 to K, 16. 16. Oh, just hits. The janitor really shouldn't do. So damage is gonna be. You don't want to use their reaction?

I'm using, uh, Kay's reaction. Yeah, I'm using Kay's reaction to hit the ball. Oh, okay. And so now they are doing 12 points of bludgeoning damage. 28, which direction would you like to go? Shit, that is tough. I think he just sends it straight north. Okay.

26, 25, 24. It breaks this and shatters. I need a D8 roll. Probably going to make it right now. Another one. 23, 22, 21, 2019. It's passing you. Walrus?

For those of you were just watching this insanity, yeah, this is how flintlow works. You just bouncing around by a motherfucker. Oh, I presumably 17 plus 8. Yeah, I crushed it. I only have a D6 because I'm not the goalie. 19, 19, 19. Six points of damage.

That's 205. So we're back to 25, and you can send it. Yeah, which direction would you like to send it? I want to send it into Silas. 25, 25, 25. 24 at Silas. The league still has their... 23, I'm sorry.

23 of Silas. Does Silas still have their reaction? Oh, my. No. No. Yes. No. Where was Silas?

No, he was the first one. He took a reaction, but it was on the walrus's turn. And it was his turn. And it was his turn. He has a reaction. Nice. 23 is the AC. DM, Nikki.

Nice job, Nikki. Hiff? That's going to be... Jesus. 10. 33. Oh, oh. Which directions he said in it? Straight back.

North or back to... Northwest. Northwest? Okay. So that's going to be... 32. Oh, my God. Part of my reach. 32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24.

I use my reaction to try and hit it. This music is very epic. That's 17. Plus 8. Oh, that's got to be good. Plus 8. Is it actually plus it? Yeah.

Can you move the camera? Okay, so it's 17 plus 8. So that would hit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So then I do a D10 in damage. D6. Oh, you're the goalie.

I'm the goalie. D10. Okay. Okay. I got one. That's okay. 25. Which direction you want to send the ball? One plus five.

I think we had five to our attacks. If I recall correctly. So that would be six. 30. You would add strength or depths. Whatever your strength or dex is. Oh. Okay.

Oh, so four. So that would be five. 28. And I guess I would send it straight back, or diagonal. Back this way? Right? Right? You could send it back. That's very reasonable.

Yeah. That's extremely reasonable. And then it will potentially hit Silas because he doesn't have his reaction anymore. 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 2019. Let's go. Oh, what a terrible tragedy. You hate to see good athletes' fault. Which one is that?

Silas. Silas, who is a big, Silas Frostheart, a big Goliath of a man, guilty of manslaughter, sadly. It's just going to take it. So he's going to take half the bludgeoning damage? Yeah, that would be, uh, Nine.

Nine points of it? Okay. And then it loses one momentum. It loses one momentum and it continues almost scatteredize. And that's going to be a three. East. 17, 16, 15. Scatter-eye.

Four. Sorry. 17. 15. 15. 17, 16, 15. 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 10, 9. B.

Seeing that it's gonna miss the bell tower, that particular character will let it fly. Eight. Done. Wow. Where's Z right now? Z is right here. Over here. Yep, yep, yep.

Z is going to step between the bell tower and the ringer. And he's going to attempt to hit it. He succeeds. He's gonna get 14 of your bludgeoning damages, and he is going to send it. What happens if he sends it north, northeast? It goes, sorry, I'm struggling to draw this line in my head. It goes here and it bounces along all of these.

So it gets a nice angle. It's a good balance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll take that bounce. I'll take that bounce. Okay, 22. B doesn't have a reaction, so I'm assuming you're just gonna let that go. Yep. 21, 19, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12.

Feltit beer reaction. I do. I do. Well, I mean, it would be a terrible trad that even broke somebody's neck. You're good. No, you're good. We only have plus one to hit it. It's 11.

And it's a D-X. It's a D-X? So yeah. Yep. Eight. So that goes to 20. Which direction would you like to send it? I mean, you could just try to clot.

I'm gonna close. Oh, sorry, B. All right, straight south. We're going 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 15, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 12 to B? Does B have a reaction? That's Bain? No.

He let it pass by. I don't know if he's used his reaction yet. I don't think he has. Oh, okay, maybe not. I don't think he has. If he's not going to jump out of the way, he's going to take it. So how much does he...

12, which half will be six. Six. He takes it right in the noggin. You can tell that he's dazed from the attack. It loses one momentum and scatters? Yes. It would be terrible tragedy to go with the K. Oh, man.

10, 9, 8. Not doing the announcer's voice right now. It's killing me. That being said, it is Babar's turn. What does the bar look like? Yeah, so Babbar is a massively huge loxidon who has spent the last four years in prison doing nothing but working out.

So Babbar was already in pretty good shape being a strong paladin, but now he's like absolutely yote. Like, he's completely just off. He's too strong for his own good. In addition to that, what he's been doing is spending the last four years basically trading for secrets and information regarding powerful magic items and hints as to how to ascend to godhood. I imagine that the Galtican prison would have many different types of people

and from all walks of life, powerful people who may have information regarding you know, all sorts of tips and... This most ancient and arcane of secrets. He is still hoping to seek vengeance, attain godhood, and ascend beyond this mortal. Basically, instead of defending your son, not your son, but instead of... You're Sarah Connor, where the focus and drive is just this one thing. Ascension. Yes.

Absolutely. Ascension. And he looks a lot rough. I mean, he's in good shape, but he looks haggard and older from being in this prison. from the last time that we saw him. And the drugs. And the drugs don't help. He's like the guard at the salty spitz.

Drugs are a lot harder to get in prison, but not impossible. Okay. I will just have to move. I don't have really much else I can do. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. I'm going to run like right up, like through the middle of the field up to Silas in a very intimidating way, basically trying to like shoulder check this manslaughtering Wyeth.

As I position myself, in a way to intimidatingly smash the ball into the bell. And I'm having arranged attacks, that's my turn. Bean? Uh, B is up, where's B? He's right here. Uh, he's gonna run up and try to smack that thing.

Yeah, he can definitely get there. Oh, what's his total movement? 30? 30. So that would be 10, 20. Oh, even more than that. Yeah. One and a half, uh, be...

Shit, he's like gonna make it there. This would be normally be 15, but you have 10 is 25. That's three. Four, five and a half. Yeah, he can just look. Okay, he can get there. Okay. I trust y'all.

He hits. He's going to do 13 points of bludging damage, and he's going to try to send it directly between Babbar and Waller. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that works. So, Mbar has his reaction. Boom.

Yeah, I'm going to fucking smash this idiot. That's going to be 19. 19. Oh, boy. It's going to be tough to hit. No, you got this. You got this. I only have plus six.

Interesting. It can't be right. Is it based on, strength or is it based on me I bumped up my charisma and then and then I'll show you afterwards I hit I still get it locks it I don't have plus the strength believe or not they don't have a racial plus the strength that's Constitution's con yeah we'll fix it I mean there's nothing to fix it's just the race that's gonna be 24 to hit and I'm gonna smite this this jackass

which is an additional 2d8 at the car of a spell slot and 1d6 plus 2d8 what does that look like are you how does a a bar in your position yeah so before it would have been this beautiful starlight blessed from gigantes elephontress lus lustrous see a stampede yeah it would have been very like astral you know beautiful now it's kind of like red and there's clearly some sort of male Everyone sees a graveyard of tusks when you're... Yeah, it's...

There's a malevolence in the smite now. Okay. Okay. That's gonna be nine, ten, plus three is gonna be, um... 13 points on top of the 19, which would be 32. Okay. And... Shit, that's in the way.

That's in the way. Straight sound. Yeah, that's just not ideal. And hope that it bounces. Because I don't think B or... Then we'll just come back. 4K has there. I'm going to take a chance.

I'm going to send it into this and see what we get. Ooh. 31, 30, 29, scattered die. 4. That's same path. That's actually not terrible. No, it's not bad. 29, 28.

It's going so fast that blows through the tower. 25, 24, 23. Oh. That's it. That's ting. Oh, yeah! Trunk win! Trunk wins.

Trunk wins. As I hit this ball, I release an absolutely thunderous. And basically I'm screaming at the other combatants, like a madman. There's saliva going everywhere as I drop my paddle to the ground and stand there roaring in trials. Some of the guards are doing this.

Some of the few prison inmates are sort of clapping and cheering, having one perhaps some gambles. But you remember in your head, in your mind, you can see the crowds of Goodbury Square all screaming and cheering around you. With flags that look like elephant trunks waving back and forth, you can hear the cheerlers, you remember your friends. And in this moment, you're hit with immediate sadness,

even though you, perhaps not immediate sadness, But a pang of that memory also comes with the sweetness of this victory, and it's a bit more bitter for it. And because we didn't get to y'all's turn to play any of this as well, my apologies. John Claude, who are you, what are you in for? How do you look? Tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, I, well, I, well, I do declare that that's a victory. The name is John Claude Elefonte, lawyer-in-law. and I'm here in prison because I

was the lawyer that was defending Babbard, as trial. And previously I had this list of crimes in front of me, which is Hogswall, shall I say. Absolute. The greatest thing I've ever seen? And we were running through them in court it was such and such and such and such

and murder. Oh, man's slaughter. No, it was second-degree murder. There's no manslaughter. And that was it. They tried to pit kidnapping on him, and I said, and jury that is hogs wash, I won't have it. He did not nap any kids. It was a grown full adult.

And on that alone, he should be set free. And at the time, I tried to get in their heads, and I said, you let him go, or I'll kill your whole family. But I didn't understand that you were supposed to whisper that part. only one person would hear so I shouted it as loud as I could because I thought it'd be more medicine that way

and well they locked me up and I too in Alafonte I mean a lot is a hum also commonly known as Elephonte and where Babar is shaped like an upside down pyramid I am shaped firmly like a standard

pyramid traditionally would be wearing kind of like a full white suit with like a cream colored tie in an skewed pocket square as it was matching

offhandedly the color of the tie never directly matching because there's no firm sense of style like white kind of tussled the butt slicked back hair and a white I don't know how in a locks

and I have a goate but that's how I imagine it somewhere around the They just do. There's a goate around. It's just a ring of hair around the scumkin. It's just a goat-tie. Yeah, yeah, down the chint. Under the trunk, and comes on down.

And normally, I do say that I would walk with a bamboo cane, but here in prison, just an iron putt is what I walk around. So just to be very clear, you and I are shaped like Crash Bandicoot criminal and you are a Me Too-shaped lawyer. Okay, just that right, sure. Exactly correct, young sir.

Exactly correct. Does anyone else talk me for fried chicken all of a sudden? One moment. Is that a respond to somebody? That's fantastic. No one's inspiration now. I just think of it. I'm sure it will not matter after this point.

And Glitzy was also on the field, despite the fact that the ball of the ringer did not arrive in your path except for the one time. She blocked it. You were able to successfully block it. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah, I may be small, but I'm the best coolly they got out here on the field.

I'm glitzy that being sparks, and I'm in here for something. I don't quite think it's fair. I don't think I should get life in prison for starting to riot at a concert. I think this little ridiculous. It's not my fault that a lot of people died, and I really don't think it should be illegal to yell fire when there isn't one.

But that being said, what happens? What happens? My favorite band of all time. I was watching them, the White Sprites. And they were playing my favorite song, Seven Nation Army, and I just got a little out of control, and I yelled fire because they were on fire. I'm telling you, maybe I dropped a bomb a two.

But honestly, who was even counting? Oh, I was. It was very amazing. The body count was very high. Oh, thanks. I mean, oh, what a terrible national tragedy. Yeah, it wasn't really my fault, though. It was more the bomb's fault.

It was a seven national tragedy. Where's the evidence I say? That's what I'm trying to say. Anyway, yeah, I'm a fairy, not a pixie. It's confusing, I know. And I'm wearing some ripped fishnet stockings, and I've got some studded boots, and I've got a jacket on with a bunch of patches and buttons and things on. It's a leather jacket in case you were wondering.

I got my ripped band T-shirt on. And I've got my... It's kind of like a foahawk, because I didn't want to do the full shave on the sides, just in case I wanted to look dapper occasionally, you know what I mean? but it is hot pink. Despite their best efforts to get you just to wear the usual prison uniform.

Yeah. They'll get rid of your jacket and somehow you'll always have it the next day because of your connections being what it is. They just don't have the right fit for a fairy, you know what I mean? Exactly right. Exactly right. So there are you all stand here on the battlefield

of the prison. Really the place where problems are worked out. Really the place where exercise and games are had. In this case, flimful all for today, and perhaps another type of magical sport any other. You can hear the soft claps of some of the folks who are watching, and you immediately feel a slap on your back.

And Silas, the Goliath, stands there. Barbar is good game. Is play again, still light. I will kill you. No second game. And you can see them sort of fanning off Ka Luna, who'd been knocked out so aggressively, thanks to the attacks from Phelpip and having been smashed by the momentum of the ball. They start to coalesce together.

But you can see that they're already sort of wave another team to see if they want to play another game. The magical sport that is called Fleenflow, leaving the five of you to discuss amongst yourself. Oh, it's a good game. If you want to do a rematch, we could be. A rematch we could, you know, maybe match you even harder than use your entrails for potions. Another various brew. I'm going to walk up to John. We'll have a family bucket with four biscuits, a side of mashed potatoes, extra gravy,

mac and cheese, and throw in a couple extra drumsticks. Oh, for the last time, the walrus, I don't sell fried chicken or food of any kind. You don't? And if I had it, I'd eat it myself. In copious amounts. Oh, I used to know a guy that looked just like you. Passing resemblance, I assure you. I get it all the time.

Maybe I'd call him the colonel, but it was really spelled colonel. Frustrates me every time I look at it. I take colonel every day. It doesn't help. Jean-Claude, has there been any more? movement on our appeals. Well, let me consult my appeals document here. There's the main movement on our appeals.

You have been attempting to speak through the guards to try to get the attention of the warden. Make a persuasion check. That is where, I say, I say it's where I'm a vicar. Oh, when I do that, I say, I say, I say, That's where I rolled a natural wood. With that, in 11. Every time you ask.

Yeah, sure. We'll get right on that, Chief. Well, Babar, I do say I believe it's going to be any day now because old John Claude Elefonte is on the case. You just have to keep your own retainer. These walls cannot hold me forever. No, and they will not. They will not, I declare.

Well, anyone when I eat some disgusting clob at the cafeteria? No, yes, please. Maybe thought of prison right at turn. Yeah, I'm feeling a bit pettish now that we played that game. I only got to hit the ball once,

but it was better than last time. Yeah, and the chaos, maybe we can make a missing person about it. Oh, you guys want to start a food fight and see if someone dies? Oh, yeah. I like you're in here for, like,

minor crimes, and you're like, yes, I'm down to murder. You make you to the cafeteria, and you either enjoy the slop, or you find ways to throw it and get other people to throw it. But that is just another day in Galtica State Penitentiary, the place you've called home for however many years you've been in this particular prison. And then night comes, there's a few more waking hours before you eventually. find your way back to yourselves.

And part of the reason, perhaps, the five of you find yourselves in the same team when it comes to daytime physical activities like playing the Lainflow is because yourselves happen to share the branch of the prison that you have been assigned. And so you have had many late nights being able to sort of catch up and talk about your things. It's as close to a friendship or a fellowship or a circle. friends that one could have in this space without some sort of blood pact or something along those lines.

So before we go to sleep tonight, you guys want to make a blood pack to something? And those bars slam home, and the five of you find yourselves alone in the quiet of the night. As you can hear those same bars slamming home as the rest of the inmates are put in their cells. Facing each other as you do, you know that it could be a very long time before the sun rises and you're able to see what little freedom you can elsewhere in the penitentiary. Blood packed. Yeah, I was just thinking we're as good of friends as we can be without making a blood patch, so I thought maybe we should make one.

Yeah, maybe if we all donate one organ or body pot, we can be real good chum about it. Oh, Phelper, you don't need to do that to make a blood pact. You just simply have to prick your finger or something. And then do we, like, squirt the blood at each other, or if we put it in a chalice and drink it? I don't know. Oh, yeah, I'll put it in a jar for sake of keeping. Well, no, you've got to do something with it.

You don't just hide in their jaw. Well, I'll do the other stuff later. You're always so selfish when it comes to blood and guts and entrails and stuff. You've got to start sharing with everybody else. I mean, then you could always try to meddle with dog power beyond your mortal comprehension, but sometimes it doesn't go so well. Like those teenagers discovered

when they went into the woods. Allegedly. You hear the sound of footsteps, and you know that right around the corner is the guard that tends to watch your side of the branch at night, the night guard, a man by the name of Amar Bright Shield. Is he alone? Yes.

Hey, guys, there's that lone god that likes to wander around this part of the prison. By himself. Yeah. Alone. Yeah, that's why he called him the lone god. Just one of them. Yeah.

In this the night we were waiting for, can we finally return to the woods and serve the dark one, Beham Off? Well, I was thinking returning to the secret layer beneath the Arctic-themed Puttut cold course that went out of business 20 years ago.

But we could go to the woods too. Is that where the kids were drinking the slushies and dying, and that's why I shut down? Look, look, it's blue water. Blue dye. You're not supposed to use the same blue dye in the water that happens to you doing the plushies. I'm not serving the slushies. What are you guys talking about? Look, that was completely unintentional.

I just wanted my walruses to feel it home in the great blue sea. Beneath the Puck Pug Golf Course? Yes. in my secret layer beneath the Puttbutt golf course. Are we going to talk to that God? He finally comes in a view. Kill him! There are bars between you and Amar.

He's a half else, and you all know him to be a good man, having all probably attempted to bribe him at some point. He's turned down your attempts. Lights out in five minutes. You think we could maybe get ten today? Now, orders are orders. Yeah, but we won. The Fleen's flow thing.

Yes, you're not the only one. We can't be making exceptions around here. This is prison. But... Oh, I mean, I could think he was like, please. Yeah, what's Philipset? Pretty pleased with... Every night with you guys this routine. Every night. Pretty pleased with the teeth of Venus in on top. It's five minutes. We're your favorite, you know.

Make a persuasion check. We're in fact not. His favorite. I don't have an arcane focus, do I? A 17, actually. No, you wouldn't have an arcane. Oh. Oh. Long.

I just hand-waved that for the sake of let's get through that round of lead flow. 17. With a 17? No. Oh, Dawn. All right. I knew it was going to be a no again. But a girl's got to try.

Glithy. You miss every shot you don't take or something I read once in a book or something. I understand that you're up from parole? What is the... Oh, well, I don't know. I think they said they were going to let me. for good behavior. Good behavior.

I understand that you might be actually out of here in a month. Yeah, I know. I just got to keep being not violent and stuff. Exactly right. Exactly correct. All of you. Thank you, Glitzy, for making that very valid point. You're welcome.

Great. I snuff out the bomb that I had lit on fire when he walked off. Yep. Put it under my pillow. All right, like that, everybody. Five minutes, though, you said. It's been five minutes. Oh, I thought it was five minutes from the time you walked away.

That wasn't fair. You didn't stipulate that in the beginning. I have a watch right here. It's been five minutes. What's a watch? It's right underneath this zipper coat I have. That's a deep cut. All right, all right.

He seems to have his own sense of time, and he turns the lights down, and he knows that you'll have nothing but the moonlight to shed through the very thin, barred window. in your stalls, in your cells, for the rest of the remainder of the evening, and you can hear his footsteps energetically start to make their way echoing down the hall. That long ago had such a stickler for rules.

It was worth the try. It's worth the try every night. I only got 30 more days, and then I'm out of here. Yeah, you've a nice guy with a nice family, and I hope he enjoys them as long as he can while he can. Yeah, I hope so, too. Terrible tragedy. if something awful happened to him.

I agree. I'd hate that for him. He's nice. Perhaps if he blacks out in a fit of madness, he perhaps murdered his entire family. That'd be a terrible tragedy. I don't think that'll happen, though. You'll end up here right with us, the great equal either. Prison.

Prison flop. Oh, it's not that bad. Every evening when night falls, I know that I must wait until morning again. For I sit here. underneath the judgment of gigantes elephontres illustrious.

The only way to escape that judgment is for me to ascend myself. You guys want to do some hard drugs and forget about reality for a while? I'm glad you brought that up, Blitzie. I've been taking a break from the hard drugs for a while. You want a stripper?

One of the other guards slipped to me my usual shipment in a balloon. bite up the prison wallet The balloon unfortunately was faulty I was tripping balls for weeks decided to take it easy For a little bit after that

How long ago was it that they slipped you the balloon In a prison wallet Months, months ago After that instance No more hard drugs for Babar Be Babbar For now You're sweating profusely right now

Are you telling this story? Are you sure it was months? I'm sure All right Why you, uh, why you hold down on this Baba be Biba? Well, it's not like you could give you any. He just said he butt chugged the whole thing. Let me share it a little bit.

When you do, I'm not going to say that. Never mind. Well, I think, I believe for the point of the story to get across, we got to, we got to plan our daring escape on account of what's all being innocent. Oh, but there's no point in me trying to escape. We're only got 30 more days. I mean, that's a long 30 days, Clipsey. I mean, I know that it sounds like to you that trying to break out might ruin it to have to get life.

But you could get out sooner rather than later if you bust it out with us. I guess that's true. So what you're saying is that she could wait 30 days and be free, or she could attempt to break out, get out 30 days sooner. But if she's caught, spend the rest of her extremely long, fairy life. in prison? Listen, the walrus, if I have learned anything through all of this, it's never wait for anything. Get instant gratification the moment that you can. If all you know, you might end up in life in prison. So you're saying you want some of these drugs. I have to do some drugs.

My like stomach, like the coils, my eyes kind of like go and I like push your hand away. But it's just pixie sticks. If we are going to be breaking out of here, we all need to stay sort of sharp. Okay, well. You pass you a pig, pixie stick. I'll have half of one. You snort it. For some of you, you're on one wall, and for the others, you're on the other side facing in. And so in order to get pixie sticks, sometimes it's a matter of tossing them,

and other times it's a matter of, like, handing them around so that another hand can wrap them, and then walk to the other side, and then handing them around. It can be quite an elaborate procedure of teamwork, actually. Like a false arm of, like, gnarled roots and it stand out. Like that care. Oh, you won't have anything for you, Bill, Pip. Now, listen, Raybab, there's no reason to get upset, okay? Rabab was my brother.

Oh, I thought your brother was Babar, B, B, Babbar. I am Babbar, Babbar, you old fool. No, I thought it was I am Rabab, Brabab, Brabab. And I will raise and avenge my brother, Babbar Babar. How many times have I explored? explained this to you, the Walrus. Well, you both had stupid names in my defense. They're not the walrus.

Look, I apologize, Baba, right? Is that the right one? They're very similar than really different. Baba. Why did you and your brother have different last names? We don't talk about this. No, all right. Well, I vote on breaking out.

Yeah, I mean, I think that maybe there could be minimal or maximal, collateral damage. I mean, we thought we could do maximum, collateral damage or minimal, whatever we're feeling. The damage done will be whoever stands in our way. I just don't think I can do the breaking out thing. Well, freedom certainly isn't going to come to you without trying. Not in 30 days. I've been trying real hard. I've been making sure that every food fight I stock gets blamed on someone else.

How does that support getting out of here? What means that they look at me and they're like, oh, that glitzy's been an absolute just primal prisoner. So we're going to let her out early. Instead of life in prison, she just has one more month. Well, that's genius. You should be coming up with the plan to break us out of here with ideas like that. Well, we could try and, like we could all, oh, we could become an amalgamation of one here. We could all do a bunch of drugs, okay?

But let's start off that way. Okay, I like what is. Right, we could all do a bunch of drugs. Okay. And then we could form, like, a human millipede or whatever it is. What, no, you know, you know like this? Well, hey, no. What did that look like?

I was into the drugs, porth. Does that involve eating? Yeah, the drugs. And so we're going to, like, attach ourselves to each other. and form like this giant amalgamation of us. We're going to have to give ourselves a name. Well, you mean like we'd hold hands? Oh, we'd piggyback each other?

Yeah, just like insert ourselves. And then anyway, what we're going to do is then we're going to rush towards the wall and see if we can bust it down. Oh, screaming loud again. Yeah, because the long guard's not going to hear us. Well, then why would we have to stitch ourselves together just to run at the wall?

Well, because if we try and do it separate, you know, When we hit the wall, we're all going to bounce away from each other. But if we're all, like, inserted into each other, then we're one solid mess. And when we slam into the wall, we can't break apart. Or something about the drugs. Okay. Mr. Lawyer, man, what's the right? Yeah.

I also have this bomb. Well, why? Well, why didn't you just say that? It seems as though we can just wait for a mile to come back around and steal the keys right off the belt. Or we can put that bomb next to the side of the wall and just blast on out of here. No, I can't use it. though, because if I get caught, I'm going to spend the rest of my life in prison.

Well, just blame it on one of the other heads. I throw the bomb out the window. It's worthless. It lands next to a bunch of other unexploded panels. This happens for a night. Yeah, yeah, you're going to be talking yourself out of it over and over.

And this is how the evening progresses. Usually talking about means of escape, then remembering that you can't. And that almost certainly any attempt that you did would be thwarted by the GM. And eventually you find yourself to sleep until late that evening, you hear a sound. It's very unusual this sound because it's almost always dead silent all night. But you hear a very familiar sound.

The same footsteps of Amar start to make their way back through the darkness. And you hear this switch sound. Very faint, deep red glow, almost orange for a moment. And then closer and closer and closer. And the figure of Amar, the lone guard, comes into view. The sounds of echoing footsteps get louder and louder and louder. And eventually, in the darkness of the hall that you all share, this branch of the prison, you see the figure, the half-El figure of Amar standing there, this lone guard.

but he stands a little differently not quite as straight-backed as he normally would be but instead hunched a little bit and to your amazement all of you see him pull up his hand and between two fingers he has a lit cigarette takes a long drag it's so quiet that you can actually hear the coal burn down for a moment and you can smell the billow of smoke as it fills the space this scent of multi-vanilla-like maple-like and those of you who familiar enough with the tobacco know that this to be a cigarette of Morley Flake a captive audience how nice it's a pleasure to finally get to meet you all here a very

different voice emerges from the sound of Amar, no longer the one you recall, having spoken to them day after day after day, always on Night Watch, but instead this sort of dry, almost papery sound of a voice comes out and addresses the five of you. Well, is this the middle of the night? It's like the dead of night. It's like midnight, one in the morning, two in the morning, something like that. You should all be getting a long rest at this point, but instead you're just, you should

just hear the sound of this voice and this figure standing there, not approaching the cells at all, just... It's a pleasure to meet you all in person. Well, I say, Marr, you've been guarding over us here every night since we've been here. You aren't you, you're not meeting us. Games, aren't your style, fella? Jean-Claude. Who's my name? I think it should be obvious that I am not...

the one you know as Amar. Tonight I come to you as the representative of some very powerful clients. You can think of me as one of the members of the many-headed syndicate. What time is it? Give me my cooling out. The walrus, I believe.

Yes. Yes. I have come here to give you an offer. It's 3 in the fucking morning! This offer better be good! This was the only time that could guarantee a private conversation. What I come to offer you is very special. Detone with it!

Bhabar, I think you in particular will be interested in my offer. No shit! But I must tell you all. What is the five of you I seek? Oh God, I get out of here in 30 days. I don't know if I'm available from anything right now. But I only am interested in willing participants. Say no and...

Are you going to shoot me? Why are you pointing to do two fingers like that? He's like got the cigarette like between his two fingers here and he's taking a drag. Oh, I'm not here to harm you. I'm here to invite you to a game. Are you pertheth by the dark one? Come to give me orders on the next faith of the ritual?

He takes another pull of the cigarette, and it briefly glows and eliminates his face. And looking into his eyes, there's a parallel, a kind of, Maybe not your dark one, but something is possessing Amar. I serve his dark will, the hooves at the stamp and the dark if fourth. Allegedly. Allegedly.

To attain great power, you must participate in this game, risking everything. But if you should show enough will to live, then you would achieve more power than you could possibly imagine. Imagine, even you, Phelpip. Even me, lowly worm, comparison to the great king, sick of horn, sick of seal, sixth of sword. Oh yes. I am but a worm, a pawn in his great game. What if you wanted to be king in that game, Phelpip?

Feltip, king and myself? Oh, yes. My own dark beef, my own great king. Your own throne, a chance. a chance for power. A throne of gnarled wood and earth. Power beyond... Ancient beyond mortal comprehension.

What say you? The bones of all of my enemy, of an innocence. Collateral damage. To be weaved. Uh, uh, uh, ha, ha, uh. All of this is well and good. But this is certainly not the first time that any of us have sought after heard about unlimited power.

How can we trust you? Both speak for yourself. I can't say that you can trust me and he's farther than you can trust any of the others here. Well, I think that we'd love to take you up on your offer of ultimate power, but you see here we're stuck behind these here bars and we can't exactly journey off with it wherever the heck you'd like to go. This place. place, this prison you find yourself in, can be easily remedied by someone such as myself. I would transport you from here, but not to freedom. Just a chance.

You can get us out of you right now? If I so wished it, if accepting is what it takes to be freed from this hellhole, make it so, I'm in. I don't know why I'm not playing the cool creepy backslip music. Oh, I was wondering what was going on of that. I thought we were just in prison. You seem cooler than that about. Oh, that is creepy. So you're saying...

Jesus, everything. Unlimited power? Power without limits. It's the same thing. Could that come with various marine mammal sidekicks? Oh, yes. Oh, oh. Oh, and flying ointments made from the in the events? Oh, and all the fried chicken we could eat.

Oh. And I could be center stage, the leader of a band. Like, like, Gem and the holograms, but like cooler with bombs. That's almost impossible. Far cooler. And like, maybe even in space. Jim and the holograms would be a pale imitation of what your band could bring to me.

band could bring to the stage. That's too outrageous. Could I throw bombs into space if people would. If you win through. So much power and influence I could do anything and have anything. People would be wearing leather jackets

with Glitzie's face on them. We are Glitzpabom. What? That would pretty live the Wal-Rith. Oh, for your band. I mean, I just thought Glitzpabom, anyway. Never mind. Oh, God.

I guess you could name it. Instead of having a footh, I could have a mohawk. And it, wait, no, that's not what I want. No, it's party in the back business in the front. A mullet? Well, that's a mullet, see? Yeah, I could have a rock mullet, like that one guy in that movie head where he had a huge penis.

Sorry, major image. The king of all mullets could be yours. It could be a hot pink mullet. Old foghorn leghorn here at a mullet back in the day. That's back when they called me a rockadoo. Remember those days Johnny? Oh, the 80s.

Was that big when he was selling chicken? Yes. Yes, in fact. It was back when I was selling chicken. I'm waking people up in the wee hours of three like this creepy guy. The stranger's cigarette is nearly burned all the way down to the filter and he takes it and he

puts it out into his palm and then sort of conjures another cigarette before. lighting one of his fingers. First we try, and then we trust. If you accept my offer to be taken to a plane of existence from far from here, where you'll participate in a game, you can just extend your hands with a bar, let's say.

And I will... Test your will. Is there a chance that we all die terribly? There is a chance of that. Oh, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. I too am in. Put it here, put it here. You all extend your hands, and he sort of gestures to put your hand like a palm up.

Are we doing this rockadoodle? Oh, well, I think we are. I mean, did you hear power without limit? Certainly different than unlimited power. Very different. Very different indeed. With that, I could open a law firm and never have to show up. I'm doing days of work in my life.

It just makes money for me. And then you wouldn't have to keep telling people that you're saying and you're saying all the time. He goes up to each of you, and he hits the end of his sort of ashes into your hand, but you can see it drops like almost a magical ember into your palm. Close your hands. the embers hit them, and it's cool.

You sort of instinctively pull away and don't necessarily want to burn, but at first there's not even warmth. Glythe, do you extend your palm? Oh, I don't know what to do, guys. I guess 30 days in the line, but there's no promise of being, I don't know. Glitzy and the displacing cats

with the name I'm working on. Oh, I... Well, Glytsey, you know, I mean, you could... I've got this bomb here that's lit on fire. I throw it out the window. It falls down next to a bunch of other bombs before extinguishing and not igniting. You could wait to get out and be a law-abiding citizen

and just serve your time and be rehabilitated, but that does sound like the sinking, that sounds like the actions of a bitch. Okay, Blitzie ain't no bitch. Let's see. And he taps in it. He taps in it, and this ember falls in.

to your hand, any gestures to close your hand, you have to understand my clients pay very well in magics and in goods to watch these games. They place bets on them, and that goes for you, too. And... That's for who we're talking to? The GM was indicating to chat that they should start putting their money on whoever they want, hypothetical money. Understand. Can chat actually... No, no, but they...

Just think of who you want to win and start thinking about things in that way. There's no game aside from like, oh, I hope the walrus wins. Their clients are very powerful indeed. And then he takes a drag. And you feel the ember inside of your hand grow bright hump. Ew, what fun!

What I said? I need you all to make a Constitution saving throw. If you attempt to withstand the pain of this ember in your palm, you can imagine how the searing ember is certainly burning through the top layer of skin and into your palm at the very second. Is this a 10 or an 8? I got a 26. Oh, that's, I would say that's scuffed.

I mean, I don't know that that's, yeah. There you go. It was literally a bunch of time. Oh, yeah, that's the problem with those dice is that they roll. I've never said that? Yeah, they caught. Yeah, crazy. 25.

So what does this Constitution say? three. Damn. Well, it's also a 23. I would say it's also a 23. Oh. Fuck. Do any of you instinctively, you have the will perhaps to hold on to this ember, but do you drop it?

If I get a 23 and it's burning my eyeball, but it feels kind of good. It's burning your pump. Oh, I did this. You've got your fist shot on it. Exactly. Exactly. I think that bar would have been through way one. That bar would have been through way worse.

This wouldn't flinch it. He watches all of you and... He just wins a little bit. Then he takes another drag. I suffer for the dark one. I suffer for the dark one. I will channel my walrus blood lineage and just not feel it.

I'm just gonna try to, you know, feel cool and cold like the Arctic. Cool and cold in the Arctic. You try to channel that, but as he pulls again on his cigarette, it gets hotter and more, more painful. You can't imagine that it doesn't drop out the back of your hand. from the searing pain that it is surely burning in this moment.

I need you all to make an additional Constitution saving problem. Come on. It did it again. 17. That's the exact same one too. Oh, baby. I'm rolling like hot fire. Natural 20.

Oh! Oh! 17. 19. 24. 26. 27. You were all able to hold onto your ember through the second drag as the pain becomes intense.

Perhaps even even given what whatever background you may have had, all of the pain is starting to come short of this and you fear for a moment what might come if a third drag should arrive. I would, if it's starting to burn like the dickens, I would say, oh Lord, oh, great heavens, this is quite a thing to hang on do. You're not ready to. You're a stranger. Oh, no!

You do this and you look at your hand. There's a brief set of sparks almost comes out. But you look at your hand and it is uninjured. You've not been hurt. This is some sort of magical effect. Too bad. Jean-Claude. Too bad.

Oh, no. What if you do? This is like the gum to bar. And then he pulls again from the cigarette. Your hand is free. You do not need to make a Constitution saving throw. But the rest of you need, as the intensity of this pain brightens, past a threshold you didn't realize what's possible.

Eight. 23. Jesus. I finally rolled not so hot. I got a 16. 16? Yeah. 12.

12. Wait. 12. Wait, what was the high? 23. 23. With a 23, let's see, you managed to, thinking of perhaps the fuse of your bomb.

You start to picture it, and you're able to push through, channel through, and because of this, you gain an inspiration. Oh, nice. The rest of you all finally having been pushed to the brink of sanity from this pain, pull away and start to push away. Too bad. Glitzy, very well done. You have shown tremendous willpower in this.

Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening to what you were saying. I was drinking out of my communal tea bucket. That's just a toilet. It's not cheap. It's a bucket. You got the letter wrong. on it. What's what you're talking about?

No, that's a peanut tea. Oh, this is in common. You got the funeral out though. It is in fact communal. You have, and in trying to win through, you have learned what it will mean for you to try to win through in this game. I accept all five of you.

Should you agree, you need only open the cell doors. cell doors, the bars to your cell so that you might proceed. Oh, we would, but they're locked. Oh, well. No time. Until we meet again, the many-headed syndicate sends their regards. And he starts to turn and walk away. Why don't you go by Hydra?

Oh, gone. That was delayed. It's not hydra Get out of here It's not a highbed Oh it's the mouse with a baseball bat Oh That's terrible trash

I would try to open the cell doors Oh my God Listen to what he said I would just try to over the doors Immediately you turn And there's almost this shuddering of light As you push the bar back And you realize you're no longer looking Into the hallway at all

Where the door started to open And where it has ended has led into a pristine, clean room that is somewhere else entirely. Looking inside, there's beautiful furniture and tapestries. There's all kinds of food and beverages. This is a completely new space entirely, like a portal that has opened just for you.

Yes, today. Today is the day. I am free. No, your name's Baboff. What an idiot. When he does this, you actually see like this phasing and he just evaporates. You do not hear him

to make this exclamation whatsoever unless you are also opening the bars. I have a quick question. Is the, hearing him now declare the many-headed syndicate multiple times as hardened imprisoned criminals, does that ring any kind of familiarity to us?

Yes. Yes, I won't even make you roll like an intelligence check or something along those lines. You would have heard. rumors of this sort of shadowy organization, very powerful in Galtica, engaging with only the very most premium of gangs and has its fingers and it's Hydra. Is it? Not Hydra. But yeah, no, it's Hydra.

Well, I do say, hail the men ahead of syndicate. Swin'niff and not might gel doors. When you do, you see another, use by another door suddenly open and on the other side, you're both now staring into this shared. communal space, this beautiful, elaborate space. You see all kinds of objects and artifacts in there. Things that you recognize to almost be for you. As an example, Bavar, you see a pristine set of armor that looks like it has been tailor-made, and it is not like the one that you used to wear, the one that would have been adorned with Gigantus... Elephanus...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would not have that kind of adornment, but instead It seems to be a bar. And for you, John Claude, the most perfect suit you ever did see. Ready and also perfectly tailored. Is it seersucker? Is it seersucker? Obviously. Absolutely right.

You got a bitch. A bit of lemonade. How do you stay cool and those hot summer days without seersucker running up and down your body waves? It's what John Claude would want it to be. And I would say as each of you start to see the other. disappear, Phelpip, you would find the things that you would naturally have on your character sheet available. In addition to the finest of entrees and appetizers, there's all kinds of drinks from juices to punches to liquors and spirits.

Oh, a simple melee weapon and a druidic focus. Just what the dark one order. Oh, one d four, gold pieces. Oh, one four. It's perfect. I like you. Yes, yes. You bundle a bunch of pittins up into your arm. Oh my god.

Until they put in heaven road. Oh, God. I also open the door and click my face. The two of you also eventually make your way through and you find yourselves the available Lute being what it is seemingly got the name and it's about at this time as you start to Come to the Lulgery of this place given your

Life has it's been in though over the past few weeks months and years that you come alive to the fact that there are people in this room very dramatic powerful people No, there are what what appear to be very simple armored figures They have gauntlets on their hands. They have boots. They're almost like completely made of metal. But what is especially unusual

and what draws your eyes is that their heads are pyramids. These perfect pyramids, four sides, and they seem to be sort of looking at you doing this, looking in each direction. And that's where the five of you find yourself in is these silent guards witness you take the things that you feel are oh to yourself.

Silent gods, this is given silent hill. What's going on with your pyramid? whee. The paint on the wall starts to, like, disgustingly flap away. Somebody's entire skin has pulled off in a disgusting manner.

It's 2005 again. Things are awesome. Things are awesome. Hey, what you just came out. Get a bunch of weird like, Nanny nurses. Come put it on the bottle, let's finish the fight. They don't move.

You got my code. Oh my God. Anyone remember Pepsi Blue? What a pool. Doritos nachos. I can't want it. Just Doritos. Don't know.

I know. I was going with the code right. I don't finish the fight. Yeah. Monster budget he is. And Mountain Dew, actually. Oh, that's Code Red! Fuck!

I do declare, Code Red! Continue, Danger Master. You put on the things that are owed you. You enjoy the beverages and the food stuffs, and as you start to sort of like come to rest and wonder what the next step in this process is, the figures with their pyramid heads walk up and hold out for each of you. for each of you, a belt. A simple locking belt with a simple sort of a shapeless sphere where the belt buckle should be.

And they each are perfectly sized for each of you, but they seem silently to gesture that you should each put this belt on. Oh, well, I don't remember seeing this on my character sheet, but thank you. I love nothing more than a shapeless sphere. a shapeless sphere, and I click around my waist. Well, now, what do these do?

Oh, I should have asked that. Nameless villains from Silent Hill. They sort of gesture to put the belt on. They don't speak. They just nod at you and continue to push the belt on you. Should have assumed all the minions in the demon hellscape waiting room when you talk to me. It'll match your wings and your chicken-like figure. I think it's quite interesting that you're more worried about putting a belt on in this demon hellscape than you worry about drinking the liquid and eating the food, which easily could have poison in all of it.

Well, the gentleman that invited us here seemed like such a catering chap, but these guys have beermen's friends. The other guy was smoking a hot cigarette. I mean, the Moorily. You can't hear you with that. I'll hear you with a law school. Well, I mean, I do declare he spoke very plainly and invited us here. under no false pretences, and these are like horrors handing this belt to wrap a belt ourselves.

All right. Well, it'll clash with my outfit, but I suppose. It matches perfectly. Oh, it's perfectly. You each put the belt on, and it's hard to remember what happens next. You are seemingly put into a magical sleep. A dreamless sleep. Did we get like our old, like, our old, like,

like our villain outfits? Or is it... It's as though you are given the things that would eventually make your outfit but brand new. And you can't tell whether, looking at them, they're either perfect replicas that have been made, or they've somehow been like almost stolen out of time and delivered to you. Like that time you found that coat, it's as if you just pull it off the rack and that shop that one time. Each of these items is unworn, but very clearly yours. clearly yours. It's as if you've gotten all of those things all in one moment

squashed together. If that makes sense. That's really cool. Yeah, it does. Okay. A dreamless sleep takes you and the next thing that happens you start to drowsily, slowly, wake up and you find yourself in a bed, each of you. There are looking around, there are other beds adjacent to you, looking across the way, there are beds, beds in all directions, bunk bed, two, three, four, five stacked all in one row. You seem to be in some sort of elaborate, huge dormitory, the five of you. And getting up and starting to make your way down the ladders, you can see that there are other people in this space,

hundreds of others, of races that you recognize and many that you don't. It's in this dormitory that they are two seeming to come together, and you can see each of them wears one of these strange belts. The five of you are clustered together in this strange space. You guys recognize anybody here? I'd turn up a bar. I'll say, uh, would you really think we're free?

Well, in short, no. I don't think we're free. That man mentioned something about competing for this power. Perhaps the game has already begun. Truly, we are our Cuddlefish games. What? What's the Cuddlefish?

And now we know what to cover. What was that? Oh, no. I don't like our odds. What do you mean? No, we'll all team up and we'll all share the prize. It's going to be a great, not a terrible, violent, and gory tragedy.

It'll be wonderful. A gentleman walks up and sort of taps you on the shoulder. Um, the bar. Uh, just a moment ago, I was in a strange room and now I'm here. Do you know what this is all about? Why are you talking to me?

You know what this is all about? Uh, yeah. So we were pulled out of prison? Oh. And we were told that we could have our wildest dreams fulfilled if we win the game. That's critically important that we were pulled out and not broke out, so you can't add anything to a rap sheet.

Hey, no, no, what do you think about that? Where'd you come from? I was... Did someone put ash in your hand that was kind of cold? And then all of a sudden it wasn't cold anymore? That's exactly right. Yeah, and then did you eat in a room full of Silent Hill Pyramidettes? Yes.

Silent Hill, exactly. Yeah, and then did you have to put on that weird belt that you're wearing right now and then you fell asleep and woke up in here? I thought I just fell asleep naturally. Ms. Sean Bean was there too. And he actually survives them. No, he didn't. No, he didn't.

He actually done. Oh, he did? No, no. Enough of this. Someone tell me what to do. If I have to smash this old man's head in for ultimate power, I'll do it immediately. Hey, come down.

The game hasn't even started yet. We don't even know if that'll work, but it's worth a shot. What if the game is to keep as many people alive? This horrific smile goes across my face as I look at Calvert. The dark one is fueled by the brains and vitriol of those who don't deserve to die. You deserve to die, old man? Yeah, it depends on your definition. Do it.

Okay, but what if the game is to keep as many people alive as possible? Then you fail right away and lose. You know, fella, you look like you know a lot about the Haradrum. If I stay a while, listen, have I told you about the Haradrum? I'm talking about, Doc one keeps, protect me, bear him off. So we all get ready, or so we say a prayer? What should we do? What should we do? I'm getting a little nervous now.

Normally I prefer it to be the dark and spooky in the woods. This is a little pristine for me. I think we just wait for them to tell us what to do next. As you see the majority of the people have gotten up, and they're all starting to assemble, and there are groups who seem to know each other already, just like yourselves. There are loners who either have chosen not to engage with those

that they knew in their former time before arriving in this place, or know no one at all, like the old man, whose head was almost smashed in by Babar. Give it another 30 minutes. A pair of gates open and out come more of these sort of powered suits. You can see that their heads have many different shapes.

And if you play Dungeons and Dragons, you would see that they all start with classic pyramidal shape, making their way up through a cube and up the platonic shapes until finally, having arrived, assembled on both of those sides. Oh, my God. Inside, watch the singular dodecahedron guy,

and he stands there in the middle. Thank you for joining us. Welcome to the game. There's no clapping. Everyone seems confused and just staring up. We are about to begin shortly. Does anyone have any questions? Wait, why do you have a do decahedron on your face?

Because I am the leader. Why wouldn't it be an icosahedron? This is... That's an icosahedon, isn't it? It's an icosaheater. What's the december? D12, isn't it? I don't know.

I can't know. I don't know. We should probably double check. This is very important to the plot. Shit. I've been... For years I've been getting this wrong. been getting this wrong?

No, no technicality! I'm just the announcer. He steps aside, and the person with the icosahedron head steps in. Excuse me, Virk, can you icosidiv nut? You call them immediately insert. Just. Ah, this is pretty bad, that it feels so good. In embarrassment, the Dodojahedan guy himself is nice and fun.

And the Icosahedron guy walks out, clearly the true authority in this space. I was just dating you. That was the first answer. In the past, game one. Wait, what happens if you did your name wrong? Oh, my God. You take inspiration for that. That's knowledge.

I'm not kidding. That's probably gonna come in handy. No questions having been asked. The ICOSahedron guy leads you out, and you walk through some sort of Euclidean space of fucking staircases and wandering architecture and bizarre spaces. Yeah.

I have a question. Why didn't it sound like a collection of World of Warcraft Taverns in here? Because... Because... It was something even in Thunder Bluffer. in Thunder Bluff earlier. This is the only vaguely upbeat soundtrack that I have. You want for me.

It was kind of, it kind of felt fitting. I was, I was feeling it. I'm getting real tired of your shit guy, but. How do we win? Hey, Derek, welcome to Wednesday. Oh yeah, it's that Wednesday energy. It's tough, it's tough. It's all yours now, buddy.

I love it. You're led through the gate, all of you. You can tell that there are hundreds and hundreds of people who have agreed to participate in this game. And before long, you're taken through one final threshold and you walk out and you can see that there's this long, like almost a war-torn battlefield. There are bodies there.

There's smoking embers in all directions. There's battlements and trenches, all leading to the other side where you can see that there's almost like a thin line that's been painted on the ground. There are walls that stretch up around this. It's almost as this place has specifically been fashioned, but there's clearly been a tremendous amount of chaos and damage and perhaps combat in the middle space here. And you look at, looking at it, it looks treacherous, it looks hard. And the guards, including the Ike Pahibu and the guy.

You're all being guided and directed to sort of stand in one line for this first challenge. What do you all do? Well, if we're going to compete in these cuttlefish sweet thick, we need to make sure that we have no mercy. We should be prepared to sacrifice every man, woman, and child, anyone that stands in our way. We should be prepared to brutalize them and sabotage them and commit horrible atrocity that someone would consider war crime. Fell Pip is right.

If this is battle, a battle they will get, and we will emerge victorious. Well, it does look like from the state of this, Galtica, fricassee, all around us, that that does seem to be the stakes in hand. Oh, good, I would kill a man for a steak, right? now. Oh, a steak and cheese. Oh, with mushrooms. And fried chicken on top. Oh. How do I keep picturing

you as a chicken guy, not an other guy? I can't get it out of my head. This is this is a little. Well, is that a race because I'll change right now. I'll be a rooster foe. You're a chicken or a cogra. That's getting it. That is much better. That is much better. I'm a chicken era of cocahra.

I say, I'm a chicken era of coca. I'll say, I'll say, I'll say. It's been away all from the beginning. That's right. Oh, chicken. Rocky and I'd rock-a-doodle. We go way back. We can't have to, we can't. Wow, that's a big cock.

All right. All right. Let's play the board. We're going to clear the board. Oh, that's funny. Ruth, I don't violate the O-N. Change erase. That's really good.

Y'all are goofy. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatrous and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night, and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to The Crookedmoon.com

to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragon 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. It's quiet. Too quiet. I say, I say. The only sound all around you is the shuffling of feet, the murmuring, the confused questions,

as people are being directed to stand up to this line. where the tiles that you're used to, having walked through this space, and the beginning of this veritable battlefield begins. You can see soil and wreckage and fragmented blast marks in all directions, still smoke billowing up from some sections. There's been some terrible magical battle that had just occurred here. and peering across the way you can still see that same line all the way perhaps 150 feet from you in this space. Please gather, line up in front of the line.

You're all being directed by... This line? On the side. Amongst the others. Oh, just kidding. We're on the same side. Position. I'm just going to crash like an amazing battle.

One and then the other. Oh, my God. Should we alternate? Darren is how we'd light it. However you want to do it. I think let's alternate. That's more fun. I think we need direction for DM.

Oh my God. Direction from the DM. Do you want to get the math? Very violent. Direction from the DM. There we are. And you can looking down to your right and to your left, you can see that there are others

who are looking across with some with determination, others who are looking left and right, some with confusion, And it's then that the rules are conveyed to you. To transition through this game and proceed to the next round, one need only walk or run from this side to the other, before the timer is out. And they gesture, and on the other side,

you can see that there's this massive rope, this woven giant rope that's connected to two weights on either. their side and you imagine that when they fall they will create almost something like a gong sound, like a tremendous sound, but they're being held together by this binding. And you can see that they are ready to push almost a pyre, a fire underneath it to start to burn through the tangles of this woven cord that holds these pieces up together. And then you imagine that you might have very little time once this fire is placed. underneath it to make it from one side

to the other and you start to feel the adrenaline pump through your blood start to realize that this is going to be quite a sprint to get from one side to the other. Are we waiting for like a gun? You get a sense that you're waiting because as soon as that initial rule is conveyed

one of the people crosses the threshold immediately jumps through and starts to run well I'm not waiting for anybody and he takes two three leaping bounds, jumping forward, when all of a sudden

the sphere on his belt turns red. Oh shit. And the belt shrieks. Immediately clenching together like that.

He is cut in half, one torso falling down to the other side and a pair of legs taking two additional steps before finally clumsily coming to its own end and crashing in a bloody

awfully. He screams, but is quite quickly. still from the painful death that you can only imagine. Wait until the sound of the gongs before you progress. And just for the sake of clarity,

I will convey the remainder of the rules as Game Master. Obviously, anyone who fails to make it to the other side by the time the gong goes, dies instantly. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Attempting to teleport or fly may come with consequences. A player may go half speed. If you want to make some perception checks, depending on how quickly you want to go. But at the beginning of your turn, this is the thrust of the game, you get to tell me how fast or slow you're trying to take it. You could go one, two, you'd say,

I want to go all five squares. Or you could say, I want to dash and go 10, or however many squares you want to go. And that will determine, for me, what may or may not be encountered as you continue to progress across this space. Any questions? I don't think I have any questions. Then I would ask, am I allowed to wild shape? I don't see why you wouldn't be able to wild shape.

You can use your abilities to help yourself or to hinder others. And with that, I would ask. you all to roll for initially. Let's fucking go. And some pump-up jams. Nice. Oh! Oh!

Pretty good. It's gonna be really funny if going first is not a good play. Oh, yeah. Classic the game, man. Oh, 20 to 30. 33. Holy. What kind of wall worth are you?

What kind of Wal-Rith are you? We've got to do. Every job. I'm a more with some DeCon Racing. What about 15 to 20? What is going on here? 10 to 15? I've got a 12, man, plus two initiative.

My bar's going first. Well, I'm going out. Well. Zero to 10. Five. Nine. Okay. S is going to, oh, top the round.

Um, yeah, if... Did you have someone wanted dead? Or that's not really... That was just for the sake of simulation. Because you rolled a 30 fucking three, you may go first. It's 23. Oh, it's 23? No.

Go ahead. You last. So now in my full villain gear, I still have those two talks. It's higher quality. It was like a bit of a walrus snout as part of the mask. I have a...

It looks like ice, almost like true ice that never melts a crown that looks sort of good ones with magic. I look like one of those wearing the kind of classic vintage Santa Claus outfits where he has like a full robe that goes down to his feet. But instead of red

he wears like a blue outfit with big black gloves and big black boots. And say oh fuck like I did earlier. I'm going to turn, look left, look right. And I'll say Cheese it!

And the crown will glow with this blue icy light, and I will blip in a flurry of snow. And it is so ethereally beautiful and haunting that... What's the in between B&S? Oh, their race. One to your left is a T-Fling. The other to your right appears to be a half-ling.

to the T-flang. It will be so scary what I did for some reason. He needs to make a, I believe, a wisdom-saving throw. Okay. That's going to be a 13. That fails.

Before you teleport, a creature within five feet of you must succeed a wisdom-saving throw. It will be frightened until the end of my next turn. Okay. So... You teleporting? Yes, so this is my Eladron face step.

Oh. Okay. We'll see what happens. And then I'll just try to use my movement and sprint. You use that ability and a beauty and fear that is instilled in the heart of S in this moment. The Teflin coweres away. Are they conditionally frightened of you? Yep. So they cannot willingly move closer to me while I'm in sight. You attempt to teleport forward.

and you expect to land 30 feet forward, but you instead stay right in place and fall prone. And fall prone? Yes. Oh no. So then you can still use half and then dash, right? I can still use half, one, two. As soon as you take your first step because of what I rolled,

I need to make a dexterity saving throw. Oh my God. On the first square. Oh, shit. Oh. It's a 10. Should I just let it roll? rule.

That's a tough one, dude. The first guy got cut in half, so... I don't think any of us, well... You all deduced that he was cut in half because he broke the rules. Let it, Rod. I'm going to use my inspiration. Okay.

Okay. That's better. 16. With a 16, you are able to move forward, and as soon as you take your first step, what appeared to be a natural soil, vanishes. It was clearly an illusion, and you stared down what is clearly a deep pit, but you are able to catch yourself on the other side and pull yourself

up using only an additional five feet of movement. So between prone taking 15, it would have been 10 to get up and onto the next square. So that is... So I have one, one, two, three. Yeah. Essentially making it difficult terrain to get off. So five to move off, five to get on here. Yep. And then five to go here. That's correct. And then... And you still have your action, I believe. I do my action. Okay. I would like to dash.

Okay. But if I could just maybe go half speed. You can use, yes, you can treat it like difficult terrain to make a perception check. And I would like to check for traps as I go forward. Okay. That's an 18. With an 18. Oh, no, sorry, 17.

With a 17, you expect that there is a trap. No, 20. Sorry, I'm proficient. No, no, no. I just need it a 15 or more. But you're not sure what it is. Okay, sweet. Thank you. Damn.

Is that the conclusion of your turn? That's it. Okay, S is mechanically frightened of you, and so they need to make a wisdom saving throw at the end of their turn because they cannot move forward. Is that in that correct? They cannot move forward until the end of my next turn, yeah. Okay.

It just fades, so they don't have to resave. I see. It'll send. Okay, so they lose their turn, Babar, you're up. Oh, shit. Okay. I am going to basically try to do very similar to what the walrus did. I guess I can action dash but treat it as difficult terrain and perceive as I move forward 30 feet.

Okay. Make a perception check. Why does it say I have this at advantage? What the fuck? For what? Because of stealing? I think I had that for Loxidon as well. Because of your plate art.

Oh, is it keen senses? Oh, it's some sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it is the sniff. Yeah, it's the great nose. Well, I still only got a 12. A 12 is not enough. You look and it feels like a straight shot,

you're ready to go. Yeah, well, then I'll just, I will still use 30 feet of movement. I'm kind of thinking if I should like zigzag, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, I'm not gonna zig-s-z-z. I'm just gonna go for it. If as you reached that final square that you suddenly realized that you've clicked

onto some sort of pressure plate, and all of a sudden you're surrounded by this, magical aura. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Very heavy. And that includes, oh, nope, you just federated. Is it against being charmed or frightened? It is not. Ooh, 12. 12, I need you to roll 3D4 and take that amount of psychic damage.

Okay. As the worst headache that has ever happened hits you and you are compelled to hit the nearest trap towards you, but I'm going to say that that's actually nullified because you, you do not see any traps nearby, but you have you gone to have triggered. That is a bonus action, a option, bonus action, I will use,

I'm gonna steal a page out of Rich's book and use my Misty Step, but flavored as a giant Loxidon jump as I jump 30 feet forward. You endeavor to teleport. I'm casting the spell, Misty Ste. Since you are intending to do that, you are held by magic just as the Walricks was,

and you fall prone on your ass. Man, I was really hoping that was random. Z is up, and Z is going to race forward. And let's find out what's going on here. They make it five squares forward. And they need to make a string saving throw. They succeed. And you see as they reach that fifth square

that all of a sudden two massive like almost jaws clamp up like a bear trap, but they are able to just jump out of the way and make it to the sixth square. And then those clothes, and then immediately sink back down into the space. Should I be mocking these? Yeah, yeah, put like a B there for Bertrath. And that's gonna be the conclusion of Zerick's turn,

John Claude. Oh, actually, no, it's not. They're fucking, they're fine, so they're gonna dash and they're gonna continue on their way. They're gonna make it two more squares, and then all of a sudden a needle hits one of them in the neck. and they...

Jesus. Which one? They somehow managed to stave it off, so they make it an additional, the full distance. Which is, what, one more square? What was their total movement? 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30? Yeah, so they should get another 30 feet out.

35. 35. Oh, they go dashing. Yep. 5 and 50, 50, 50, 50. Yep, they make it there. And then there was a dark trap somewhere here? Yeah, there was a dart trap on the second square through that path.

John Klon, you see all of this happening around you as more and more people are racing in all directions. You're hearing things. screams and terror, but you need to continue to progress. You know that you only have very limited amount of time before the end. Oh, what the heck that we get involved in?

And all, I only have 25 feet of movement, and I will try and work my way. Okay. One moment, I have to figure out. Okay, on the second square, I need you to make a, that's 30 saving throw. 17. 17. You steps onto what appears to be a mound of dirt

and you realize that your foot is passing through it and you make a desperate leap to cross what is clearly a pitfall, but you are able to make it to the other side. And you're able to achieve the full distance. Do you want to dash and continue to go for more? I would like to try. Okay. You make it the full distance and then you make it one more square.

I need you to roll, Dexterity saving throw. Oh, crush that. 25. 25. Um, I need you to roll 6D6 for me. Oh my gosh. What?

When you land getting over the pit full, it gives you a bit of a boost of speed, and you hear this click, and just behind you, there's this enormous eruption and explosion, but it does not send you flying, and you do not take the full damage. Take half of that and fire damage. Away! massively bursts behind you. Turns out I am all about fried chicken. Just half.

Just half. Just half. Just half. Exactly right. I'll say, I'll say, oh, damn. B is going to race forward, unless you want to do anything else with your turn. No, that's it. Okay, B is going to make it two squares, and I'm sorry, they're going to make the full distance.

I've got these flipped. They make it all the way, and then they're going to dash and continue. Yep. What's the movement? Everyone's going to be 30. Okay. And then they also make it to the very end when all of a sudden they have to make a natural 20. They're fine.

The gas that actually erupted just moments again earlier hits them, but they stave through it. They seem to be running almost with their eyes closed, hoping to make it to the other side. Phelph, you're up. I'll look around and say, everybody, everybody do a good job, okay? I mean, what do I mean if they pale? They hem off, beard of the dark. Take thou my blood, my flesh, my skin, and walk. As I'm going to turn into a gigantic, shaggy black goat.

Nice. As a war horse reflavored. I'm just going to move 60 feet. Okay. Let's find out if you encounter any traps. You encounter one on the fifth square. I needed to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh, I don't know.

I think that's where I'm a Viking. Oh no That would be a terrible tragedy I'm sorry I'm sorry Skill the ability phase with the Oh 16 is enough you were able to stave off You take the psychic damage 3D4

Roll it for yourself But you do not feel compelled to race towards the nearest trap Put T for toxic gas on that one or whatever you're doing Yep image exactly right and once you cross the threshold on the six space we're gonna do like this um I guess you get to see shit you got the horse okay so he would have gotten to five ten six spaces it was here that there was a bomb so he needs to make a dexterity saving for me yep I got to put my more horse all thing of dexterity

13. 13 is just enough. Roll 66 and take half that, but you're not blown in a random direction. Damn. So two. Okay. And while that happens, Luna L is going to sprint forward. Go do to two. Let's see how Carr. They're going to go on the first space. They're going to have to make a dexterity savings row. They fail, they take the full 66 damage, which kills them actually, because I'm not gonna do that. So they actually land on that,

and I would have rolled a scatter die, and they would have fallen a certain distance. But as soon as they step forward. Where would you like their body to land? Yeah, yeah, yeah, why not? That's gonna be, they fly southwest backwards, 20 feet. You watch as their body erupts and disappears into nothingness.

Glissy, you see this chaos all around you, What do you do with yourself? Um, okay, so are there actually people beside me? Yeah, there's one person. Okay. And this person's over here. But dead. No, no, no, they're frozen on here.

Oh, so they missed their turn. I'm gonna use my movement to move up. Okay. Are you on half speed to check? No. How much do you have? 30. On the second square up, you need to make a dexterity saving throw.

Oh, I am not dexterity. Eight. Eight. It's a bear trap. These huge teeth come up and clamp onto you. I need to roll. Oh, God. Fuck out.

Oh, my God. 3D12 damage, and you are grappled and restrained. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Who at Arbys, Bogo Tuesdays, and a Bogo beef and cheddar. We've got the glitz.

You're grappled on the strain. You can use your action to attempt to undo that. Yeah, I will. Okay, so you're realizing that you're in the middle of these teeth, you attempt to push, I need you to make a strength saving throw to see if you can, I guess it would if it does be ability check or a strength saving throw to get out of a bear trap. I'm going to go saving throw. It's acrobatics or athletics, right?

It's an escape DC. If it's an escape DC. If it's an escape DC. Yeah, acrobatics or athletics. 16. 16 is enough. You are able to free yourself. after having gotten clamped.

You feel them click back into position and you know that they're primed for another go, but you have the remainder of your movement. I'll take the remainder of my movement. Oh, how cool, my little leg. And you have a bonus action if you want to use that. I do have a bonus action. I don't know if there's anything I can do,

but I do have one. Let's see. What are these things that are bonus actions? Don't teleport. I was thinking I wouldn't. Oh, wait, my little thing glitched. No, I'm not gonna use it because I think TVM is broken. All right, monsters.

Kay is going to go at half speed to make a perception jet. His head's gonna fall on. They are going to fail, and they are going to walk forward three squares, and then they're going to go diagonally behind Glitzy, seeing that she was able to walk on that path, and then stop right behind her. and that'll be Kay's turn. We get to the top of the round,

and you can look up and you see this braided cord. The fire is already burning underneath it, and it's quickly fraying and snapping. You expect that there are probably only three remaining turns before. That's cool. And as things are heating off, we are fucked. You worry that the DC might be going up as well.

Walrus, you're up. This is so bad. So I'm gonna move five, and can I now see what's, I know that something's here. can I see what's in front of me? If you're going at half speed, you can make a perception shot. No, I already perceive this. So I'm going to normal speed.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You already perceived that that's there. So you could endeavor to jump over it. You could go into an adjacent square. I would roll random. I'm gonna try to wall-ritch jump over it. Okay. Because of how jump rules work, and those of you who are

enjoying Pax on Blood with me know I was looking up jump rules, it's just your strengths. So what is your strengths ability score? 10. 10. You would be able to jump it without me forcing you to make a check. Okay. So you land, it still consumes that amount of movement, but you jump over whatever that trap happens to be and you continue on your way. So then I'm dashing. So I start to hear one, two, three, four, five, six.

You land just there. Okay. And then I can... Now if I go half my movement for my dash, can I make a perception check? Yes. With your dash, you can go half your movement with a perception check, or you can go either full distance. and risk it. Put your luck. I'm going to slow down. Oh, okay, I jumped over what the fuck there was.

I'm gonna perceive, attempt to perceive. 23. 23. Three squares ahead of you. There appears to be something that you've never seen before. But there's a body on the top of whatever this mound is. You can tell that it's got a trip wire. Oh. One, two.

Uh, this, oh God, I don't know which direction I should go. So it's one, two, if I jump, I can't go further than that because I'm out of movement. So I don't think I can go there because it's a diagonal. So I'm just going to go. I will say that going diagonally comes with its own risks because of the obvious math. It's like you're perceiving what's directly in front of you. Who knows what traps might be to your left or your right? I think I'm going to wait right there.

You pause, skid into a halt and looking down. Make one more perception check for me. Nine. Nine. You don't know what's under there. You've not seen a trap of all the things happening behind you, even though you're in the lead. There's no way of to know what this effect was. It hasn't been seen before.

Okay, that's my turn. Silas S is going to, now that they're no longer afraid, they're realizing that they are far behind and they're just going to sprint forward. And they are going to, on the sixth square, they are going to endeavor to make a wisdom saving throw as magic. gas. Just don't know where he's going. They do not succeed. What is the nearest? There's one next to me, but I'm prone over top of it.

There's one over here. There's one. That's the closest. That's probably the closest. Unless he can occupy the same space as me, but it sounds like it's the one underneath you? It's the same thing. It's the exact. No, it was the one that made me run to the nearest, but there wasn't a nearest at the time.

It was a bomb behind the... This was a bear tree. That was a bear trap. He's going to use the rest of his movement to go to the bear trap. Oh my god. Flying, turning around and getting compelled in this way, they're going to not save. They take 3D12 damage and you watch them get clung right at the neck, blood spraying out in all direction, and it eventually resets, but you know they're long dead by the time the body falls. That is the conclusion of Silas. Babar, you're up.

Um, so when you jump, is it just one jump? It's one jump, let's say. So if I dash- I didn't look up whether you can do two jumps in there. No, no, I'm just, because I want to stay off the ground for as much as I possibly can. I want to dash and jump. Okay. So yeah, a long jump, you need to move at least like 10 feet or 20 feet.

Yeah, it's 10 feet. 10 feet. So I gotta stand up and use half my movement, which leaves me with 15. But then if I dash, I get 30. Yep, that's right. So I should be able to jump some of that. So you have 45 feet.

Right. And as long as you move 10, then you can jump, I think you're first. full strength score, which is 20, or plus five. I don't know what, 20. So I move 10 and see if anything happens before I jump. On the second square. Bastard!

I need you to make a strength saving throw. Oh, you're good. Sure. Well, I'll say I got a one, right? Oops, I'm gonna all markered up here. I got a 19 total. Okay, the, you are about to jump. And because of the force of your jump, it is fortunate,

because the tripwire that triggers all of a sudden a massive catapult flies forward. You take the brunt of it, but you don't take any damage. Instead, it just takes five feet of your movement. Oh, so then I'll fall, I won't jump quite as far. Exactly right, but it would have pushed you back a considerable distance. 510, 15, 20, 25, 30.

But you said with the jump, I get a total of 45 instead of the 30. So, with the dash, you would have had 20 to 45. If you move 10 feet, you can jump. can jump the distance of your strength scores. So, right, but I lost five, so we'll call it 10, 15, and then I would have five more movement. So you got up here.

Oh, no. You moved 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 25, 30. And you have 45 total, right? If I dash and jump. Yes. Yeah. So you can keep going. 5.10, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. We'll call it 40 because I lost five feet.

Yeah. Oh, yes. That is where you find yourself. Well done. Um, Z. Z is up. Where's Z? Z's over here by Feltip. Right next to the giant, though. They're going to...

Yeah, I think that they're just gonna bolt straight forward. Let's find out how they do. They make it five squares before they are hit with a needle in the neck. Um, which forces them to use the remaining 35 feet of their movement to move. to move, literally south. They turn around, they're confused, they get hit, and they just wobble around and suddenly fly in

the remainder of their movement to go in a random direction. They are, they pull it out, and they're horrified to find themselves almost back where they started from. That's the conclusion in their turn. John Claude, you're up. Well, I see, friend, that looked pretty bad. How about you get in front of me and sprint as far as you can? I cast suggestion on Z. Okay, what is it?

And what I'm attempting to do is have them get in front of my lane and spread as far as they can. On their next turn. They hear your suggestion and they attempt to resist. What kind of saving throw do I have to make? Some wisdom saving throw. Wisdom save 60. Very clever.

Wisdoms, they get a 13. No plus, probably. No plus. I'll then use my just standard movement to try and go 25. Okay, let's see if you make it, you make it one square before I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. 12?

With a 12, it's not enough. You feel so confident that this person is going to run in front of you and sort of clear the way for you, having felt the magic lock in, that you don't realize as your leg goes through one of these illusions and you fall full 10 feet down into a pit. are going to take 2D6 bludgeoning damage and you are now finding yourself at the bottom of this smooth shaft, for lack of a better word. Well, out of the frying pan and into the deep fat fry. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good, Mace. I love this character. Yeah, this is amazing. B is going to go and B is going to race forward. Actually, you know what? They're going to take their time. Perception check. Did I see damage?

I'm sorry. Yeah. damage. Do it to yourself. This is going to be, they make it two squares. Or they see that there is a trap two squares in front of them. Okay? But we don't know what?

He does not know what. But he is going to go to the right, and I'm going to quickly see if he hits a trap. He does. Jeez. And that's going to be a string saving throw for them. They fail, and they're hit by a catapult. They take 3D8 bludgeoning damage, and they are knock back 30 feet. But given the paper thinness of these NPCs, you instead just see their

skeleton get knocked out of their skin as they flap back in a disgusting manner. And they're a plug creek that sprays all out in all directions in an extremely violent manner. That's the conclusion of the story. Feltin, you're up. I'm gonna look as I see John Claude. Disappeared. Well, I'm not. I'm gonna see, actually, I'm a large, can I get a large token for my guy?

Oh yeah, you're not. That can't be good. Like here? I'm like right here. You could have potentially triggered twice as many traps. Oh, yeah. Well, what I'm going to do

is I'm going to look at Z. Put them on them. Put them on that. I'm going to look at Z and I'm going to yeah. Anyway, I'm going to look at Z

and I'm going to look down at John Cloud. I didn't come here to make friends. I'm going to trot up to Z and try to grapple him in my mouth. Oh shit. Yeah. Okay.

How does that fucking work? It's a contest, right? It's an athletics contest or can I make an attack? Grapples an athletics contest. It's an attack action and you're just choosing to grapple instead of make a hit. And so it's a contest. Your athletics versus his athletics or acrobatics. I get a 13 and I'm gonna plus zero all these guys.

So I get a 13. I get a 13. I believe that I had to meet it or beat it or did you grapple me? You had to meet it, right? Nothing changes if it's equal. Yeah. Okay, nothing changes. He is already starting to follow the will of John Claw.

And he is able to push you away, almost stiff arming you. And you, ah. And so I'm just going to use the rest of my movement to go forward, 60 feet. Alright? So it'll... You get 55, yeah. You make it five squares before I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. He's in two lanes, by the way.

Yeah, I haven't thought about that. I didn't think about that. I'm happy to take twice the traps. Dexterity saving throw? Yeah. Well, with using squeezing rules... Five. Quazing?

Yeah, let me look at the squeezing rules. The squeezing rules. Yeah, there are squeezing rules if you want to get really. The only technical about playing your Dungeons and Dragons. Take 66 fire damage and roll a D8 for me. Well, I keep thinking you're saying 66. You know what I mean? 6. D6.

I absolutely get blasted out of my wild shape. 10, 16, 20, 23 points of damage. That's exactly what I roll. That's wild. So then I take 21 points of damage as felt out. Ouch. You watch all of you as the black goat erupts into flames like a nuclear bomb going on. Oh, you're going exactly backwards.

And in the air, it explodes. He suddenly shifts flame and flaming fur flying in all directions. You go 15 feet in the direction that you went. And that's where you land prone. It was the prank, bro. It's the prank. You still have whatever you have? If you have any more movement.

I can bonus action. I am unhinged now. I can probably bonus action a spell. Is there a bonus action? I don't think I can do anything else on a bonus action. You're on deck, Glitzy. Yeah.

All right. I'm just gonna go forward. Do you wanna proceed for traps? No, I'm just gonna move forward. Okay. Yes. I've been rolling really hot the number. of traps. You actually make it on the first 30 feet without issue.

Oh, nice. Nice. And now I'm gonna roll again, assuming you're dashing and moving forward. Yeah, that was the plan. You know there's one there. That's a catapult. So you know you probably want to jump over that. Yeah, I would like to jump over that. Yeah, you can clear. As long as you have like five feet to jump. Yeah. You jump over that and on the fifth square. Wait, what do you need to jump? This is your strength score. I'm sure you're at least 10. My strength is plus zero. Yeah, which is 10. 10. That's the fifth square. She's got one more square of movement. On the fifth square, I need you to make a strength saving for us.

I'm going to go ahead to use my inspiration that he gave me for winning that one thing. That was a complete waste. A three. Actually, no, it was a five. Because it was my first one. I'm sorry, let's see. Take 3D8 bludgeoning damage and you are knocked back as this catapult emerges from the ground, smacking you, and you fly back. It's like in one of those animas where somebody gets hits really hard

and they slide on their feet in a long rail-like direction. You were going back 30 feet. It's fun. Oh, God. What you got that far behind? You have actions and bonus actions. If you want to do anything else with your turn. Didn't I dash with my animation?

Oh, you got a bonus. So you have a bonus if you want to go. I don't have any bonus actions. The K is up. But thank you, though. No problem. I'm trying. Okay, is going to go, seeing that there has been a lot of movement here,

very confidently going to walk up behind. play for you again. 25. Why don't you fuck off and take your own path, you little bitch? Kai helps those who helps themselves. I can't see behind, Pat, pass your hand. There's a couple of catapult traps. They're going to attempt to move diagonal up to the right,

and then dash and continue forward. That was 25. 30. Well, could you move. Okay, so they'll have dashed when they made diagonal. I am very short as a fairy, so they could potentially jump over me. No, I'm going to keep with it. So the diagonal action being what it is at the beginning of the dash, they can move an additional five squares, I think. And it's on that final square that

they're going to need to make a needle constitution saving throw. It hits them. They pull it out and they are not compelled to move in a scatter-like direction. That's a the conclusion of their turn. Top of the round. Walrus. Um, if I have five feet of jump, standing jump, does that give me enough clearance just to jump this one square? Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna jump as part of my movement. One, two, three.

Do-go-a-oo. Um, I think I'm gonna go half speed and just keep perceiving. Okay, make a perception check. Nine. Uh, that is not enough. You do not know if there are any traps in front of you. So then given that, Then if I dash, I can decide to either go, if I dash and then go my head movement again,

do I get another check? Or do I get a, is it basically for every 30 feet, like every full? Yeah, that's the intent. Got it. So then what I will do is I will now dash. Okay. And do another perception check. Brutal. Yeah, seven.

Okay. I'm just going to go. It looks clear. You're starting to run race forward and you feel like you've entered a trench and you can see that line getting closer and closer. While just under it, the frame cord is starting to break away. You make it three squares forward from the current position that you're in before I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. Is that just your last twer?

Did I make it that far? Three squares? I was assuming that you meant from the dash. Oh, yeah. I should know where to put the trap, that's all. I think right here? I thought, yeah, yeah. Put a B there because you jump and land over

a primed bear trap. This is just underneath you and you can almost feel the bottom of your robes fray, but it does not stick into your muscle, bone, or flesh, and you land just out the corner ready to sprint forward for more. Anything else on your turn? That's it? Bad a So if I understand it correctly, I can dash for 60 and jump for 20. It's a total of 80 movement. No. You can never exceed your distance. Okay, that's what I wanted to make sure. Then I'm going to take 10

10 feet of movement and see what happens before I jump. Okay, let's see if you hit anything, you do not hit anything. Now I'm going to jump 20 feet to not touch those squares and attempt to avoid contact with the ground. Typically would be a wise choice. The fifth square from where you started was where the trap was. So you

went 20 and then you went 40, so I've gone 50 movement, which means I have 10 more movement for a total list. 50 movement? Well, no, no, it was 10 and then 20. I'm dashing. So you've only gone 30.

Oh yeah, 30. Sorry, I have 30 more. Where were you? No, no, no, no. You've gone... No, he's only only on 30. If I moved 10 and I jump 20. Yeah, yeah. I rolled a 5, so it should be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. That's where the trap. Oh, so that's where you landed on the track. 30 should be 6 squares.

So if you... 1, 2, 1, 3, 4, yeah. So this was your jump and it landed on the square that has the trap. I'm sorry. That just is how the dice roll. I'm going to need you to make a strength saving throw. Sure. 17. 17.

You land and a catapult goes off, but because you were jumping, you're able to angle it so you shoot straight up and then land back directly in your space. You seem safe and fine to go. Then I still have 30 feet of movement. Exactly right. I'm just going to keep going.

510, 50, 20, 15, 20, 15, 30. You're feeling that line. It's just there. Let me see if you made those remaining things. You do. There was no traps on that entire path. Your right. No bonus actions.

Zarek Z is up. They are going to sprint forward as well. You're theoretically compelled to get in front of me and sprint as far as well. You're right. Where are you? At least there, Z is here. So they just go one, two, three, four.

They attempt to, but it's on the square, immediately adjacent to Jean-Claude, that he is going to fail at a, Toxic gas trap. The wisdom saving throw fails. He takes three, four psychic damage and is immediately compelled to go into the nearest trap. But because these minions have absolutely no health whatsoever,

he dies from the needle and the body falls down next to you, John Claude. That's the conclusion of Zerick. That was Zerick's story. John Claude, what's the rest of yours? Oh. Well, nobody defeats John Claude in the courtroom or in a dead man's wonderland. And I try and if I can, I now have a flying speed,

and I'd like to just try and fly out of the hole onto the lip and then continue to run forward. With the flying speed, you've seen that teleportation and looking around watching the chaos. Because remember, there are dozens and dozens of other people that are also attempting to use their own racial features. The flight is the same effect as teleport.

It knocks your wings seem to get clipped almost and you immediately land back on the ground. But you give it a shot and it seems that you're able to use your flight to at least get to the lip of the pitfall and are able to get up and out without any issue. So take 10 feet of movement from your current amount of movement and get in to make it to the next square. Okay.

So I have 15 feet of movement left. Oh, but after I said that I meant to catch Bartig inspiration on myself. I'm sorry. My character. Come on, John Claude. You can do this. Come on, John Claude. And I'll try and move.

Show five. Is this, he's here? Yeah. Just, is this a difficult turning? Hold on. Where are you? Where are you? Right behind.

I was in the pit and then 10 brought me here. Mm-hmm. So I have 15 feet of movement to get here theoretically. I'd say that you could be able to get here. make it there. I need to make it an ex-garity safer. No, uve. 21. A 21 exceeds. Take half of 6D6 damage as this massive explosion. It almost erupts all around you. However, the person behind you, K is not...

Is that K? Yeah. Yeah. K is not as successful and they are blown to bits and they fly back, um, turning into nothing but red jello. You're on that score. I'm waiting for it to draw. Six. All right, and I will attempt to sprint the rest of my movement forward. Okay. Are you going to use a perception check to go half speed or are you going to take this your risk? Yeah, yeah. I should always help it. Okay. I'll just go on. I'm just cruising.

It's only five. That's only five. Oh, right, right. Yeah, so right. On the third square from where you started. Yep. I needed to make a wisdom saving square as magical gas emerges from all around you. Your feet clicking on a pressure plate you didn't quite notice in time. Use a twist. Just use a twist. Why is it a twist? You're a natural one. That's, there's at least.

Ten. Oh. You take 3D4 psychic damage. Oh no. Just decrease. Oh, no, that's not good. How much movement do you have remaining? None.

None? No, if I had on the third. Oh, because you've got 10 then. I would have 10 feet of movement. You will turn around and run back into the bomb in a month. Yeah, you can't get there. You can't get there. You can't get there.

Okay. Oh, my god. Well, pretty good one was damage. And that's just full of damage. Oh, that's psychic poison or whatever. Mm-hmm. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.

But you do not hit the bomb. Right before you reach the bomb, you, what am I doing? And you realize that you'd been compelled by the needle to flip around. It's what happens? Realizing that you've lost 10 feet from your goal to not die in this nightmare battlefield. Phelph, you're up. I'm going to look at you.

No hard feelings, right? Oh, no. I didn't try to drag another guy on top of you or nothing. That was on alone. And I'm going to, oh, he'll be him off as I'm going to turn into a goat again and just try to leap over. over, so I'm gonna go 10 feet and then leap over the bomb. And then move an additional, I can move 60 is my movement. So where the hell are long?

You make it four squares and then I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. I fail. Oh boy. You take 3D12 flashing damage and you are grappled and restrained. Bear trap? Bear trap. Come on, if I don't get 19 damage.

You were six off a max. This blood amber. So hold on. Oh, holy thought. Takeover damage. So 19 just there. And so the, I think it had a little addition. It is a miracle that you have this health pool.

Oh my God. Because you would be dead six ways of Sunday, man. I had almost 40 additional headings. That's insane. Yeah, because of wild shape. I love wild shape. Unbelievable. I think you don't have your.

your action anymore. No, that's it. Okay, you were stuck and you can feel the warm blood fiddling in the inside of your clothes. All right, yeah. Oh, yeah. Blissy, how you doing? Okay.

This is really scary, and I don't want to deal with all of this, but I really want to be a pop star, so I'm just gonna run forward. You know where these are. You know where those are, so I'm gonna try and jump over those. 10, 20, yep, 25, You can't jump? 35?

Yeah, because I want to say. 40, 45. You're all right? 50, 55, 60. You're all right? Holy shit. Jesus. Okay.

Oh, God of the pop stars. I don't know whatever your name is. That's Simon Cowell. Please protect me while I'm here. You hear this loud twang over the screams of your friends, the fellow inmates that you only knew in prison for perhaps a week. days, months, years, you see people exploding, people attempting to drag others and throw them

into bear traps. You see people disappear into the floor through illusionary pitfalls. Above all of this, you hear this twang, and all of a sudden you see a single red thread between the band holding these last counterweights. It seems that the fire is burned through all of them. There's very, very little time remaining

before they close off of this insane race that you find yourself a part of. Walrus, you're up. Do I think that this is the last round, or we'll have one more round after this? That's a great question. I'm running out of tricks, guys. We're gonna cross this line, right?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This is interesting. So do I just run for it? Yeah. There's no way, because you'd be fucked. Um, if I first, Steve, he might just be fucked.

Derek is a bit of us to prepare for our character. He said this shit was deadly as fuck. I think I need to go for it. I'm going to go one, two, three, four. You make it onto the third square. I need you to make a strength saving throw. What's the range of your aura? Oh, it's only like 10 feet.

I will double check. But it's pretty much. I'm within 10 feet. That's it. I'm within 10 feet. Yeah, 10 feet. 10 feet. 19 plus whatever plus, yeah.

Oh yeah, you lose five feet of movement, but a catapult springs up and you're able to take the brunt of it with your shoulder and it immediately clasps back down, primed again, but you were able to safely move across that square. Now let me see if I, as you cross the threshold of six years, you are able to continue to progress. You just, and you jump over the line and you slide.

You see that there are very few others who have made it at this point, but there are those. who have also crossed this threshold and with a sigh of relief you feel the safety of being across the threshold. A bar. I move 10 feet. I just have to roll a one or two. I jump across the finish line. Yes. You need to make a dexterity savings on the first square. Oh, brutal. This is not where I'm a liking.

It's this one here. Come on. One good roll. What kind of trapp is it? I'll just mark it. Decks? I don't know. We're gonna find out here in a second. You get 20! Oh! Take half of 66 damage, but you do not have to roll the scouting guys. I will happily take the damage. That's gonna be 11, 12, 13.

Another 11 is 24 plus 5 is 29. Half of that is basically 15. You do this enormous eruption behind you and you can feel the heat on the back of your head, on the back of your arm. The excursion flexed across the finish line. But you are blasted past. Lasted best, and smoking, you roll across the line,

realizing that you are perhaps safe, at least for this round. That is the conclusion of your turn. John Claude. John Claude, I don't know if we're gonna make you. I cannot wait. I look at what Felbibb who's just had a massive gargames. He's like, he's all, his bones are broken. We have twists.

We have Philbitt. You physically don't have enough food. You were a good friend. I try with all my money. I tell you about... 15. Do you still have any wild shapes left? No.

No. Oh, fuck. You jump across... 25. Okay. And you, uh... Do you use your dash to continue? If I made it that for him.

You didn't hit a trap. Ah, yes, dash. I use my dash to continue. Dash, like your life depends on it because it does. Five. Ten. 15, 20, 25. Make a...

There it is. Dixirity saving through. We're talking pitfall territory. Natural one. We're twisting it. We're twisting it. Rule these pretty ones. Well, none of those.

A lover's rose gave us a twist, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, chat. I hope you all still got your bet. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So dexterity saving, two. One, two. 22. You do not.

fall in. You do not take the damage. You are able to glide across the square and get to your final square here. Oh no. So we'll see if you... Oh, that is gonna be brutal. I hope you have one more turn. As a bonus action. Yes. Um, I shout out. Phil Pip if you ever need it, take my card. John Claude Lefonte. Yeah! And I toss back, and I swam through the air, I fly out an engraved

business card that says Jean-Claude Elefonte, but the elephant is crossed out and I haven't fixed yet. Jean-Claude Cacophonte. I would be able to be able to be a fartic. Chalte-Claire. John-Claude Clare.

John-Claude Clare. Dear Dark One, it even had the watermark. I put a plow. Come on, all over it. And a tear rolled out on the chair. Oh, God, Phelphin's not going to make it. Come on, buddy. Is it my turn?

You got it. Is he no longer restrained? No, I'm restrained. Oh, yeah. You are restrained. Oh, you're so much. So you've got to stop by making a string saving throw. Now, what I will say is you just need to beat the escape DC, which it currently is 16.

So that's an athletics is free though? Does he get a... Or is this a... I'm not gonna make it constant equipment. We have twist. Free of us. We're twisting. Oh, God. Strength? Well, it's at...

Is it athletics or acrobatics or just strict? It's either, right? We decided it was a grapple, so acrobatics or athletics. Yeah, yeah. You gotta be good. Skills. Where do my skills? You look... Acrobatics is a 15.

I'm gonna use... As I... As I... And I'll take the business card. And try to jam it in, adding five. I get out. Okay. You still have your movement.

Thank you, you, Doug. I'm sorry. It's terrible tragedy that I dread to betray you. Oh, I see me to meet my free, because without his action, he wouldn't be able to death. Exactly right. Well, Jean-Claude breaks another out of...

That shouldn't have cost your action. So you stole your full movement, but it didn't cost your action to do. Okay, I'm just gonna get on a strong. I'm barely gonna make it. Nothing. Wow. No way.

Is that it? Okay. Unless you're a bonus action. Go. Uh, be him out. I didn't want to die anymore. I'm the feeling word. I think it all bad.

I dig it all bad. Feeling word. Okay. Glissy, you're up. Okay. Well, I saw what the walrus did, so I'm gonna jump to jump to where the walrus was because I know that spot was safe. I was this way. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm trying to jump there. Here?

Yeah. I'm saying you should just jump that way, right? I don't want to go diagonally because I know that diagonally's funny. Getting, we're told. Going left or right, there will come a risk just crossing into that way. This one's unknown. But if you jump over it. If I'm jumping over that spot because I don't know

what's there and jumping to a safe spot. Oh, you wouldn't have a distance to jump diagonally, but you could jump horizontally. So I'm just trying to jump from They're there because I know that this was safe. Gets her there safely. And then I want to jump over the catapult trap. Okay. And then use my movement because I know all these faces were safe

because you walked on them already. Yeah, they're good. If that works. That's brains. That's fucking glitzy brains. Very nice. You have a tremendous amount of respect for the explosive display you've seen on this battlefield.

And as you cross, you're just smiling. They got this. I had to listen to that dead guy. I told myself that I would leave the last round a chance. So whether or not you get an additional round to attempt to make it across is based on this D20 roll and it's a death saving throw. Okay. Roll it publicly. I have to. Do you have the skulls and the hearts? Do you have the- I guess you question?

Wait, wait. Quick question. Do we, looking at this whole layout, do we get any kind of sense that if these things fall and gong, that the sound would trigger something bad or- You get the sense that when this bond breaks, that those counterwants will fall, that you will no longer be possible to cross this battle cycle. And you watch as the threads break and twist away

and you can see but a silver strand there in the center. Oh, okay? What's the mean? The heat is hitting it. It is almost there on the breaking. I need to get a 10 or higher. If I do, then you will get an additional round. Oh!

That's it. That's it. 17. decided. Oh my God. John Claude, you're up. Top of the round. The screens are getting fewer. The explosions quieter. They're dull and happening. Most people are either dead or barely struggling to get across the side at this point. You can see that some people have been dazed for this entire time, poisoned other traps that you haven't even seen. But all that matters is getting across before this final thread breaks. I spread as fast as I can. I'm not even careful about it.

How many squares? He already has one, two, three. Three, three. You see a third square in. Oh, oh my God. I was gonna say if there was any time to go slow and perceive, it's only when you get three. I'm scared, there's so much straight and above me.

I need you to make a strength saving throw. Oh no. This one, this one is one world for you. Here we go. DC 16. That looks good from here. What is it? What is your strength?

You might not have. We're going to twist. Twist him, twist him. I use my own business card. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You notice the spelling error and you tear it up. Yes! You get hit by this catapole, but you don't care.

You push into it and rolling over you. You find yourself on the other side of the line, and you look over and you see that Fel-Pipp is struggling. Fel-piff. Man. This is brutal. Ben. We've had a lot of things break our way, felt like.

I don't know, brothers. I want to take the first. I roll two ones, make a dexterity saving throw as a bomb explodes the moment you put your phone now. It's good. Pretty good. That is pretty good. That's going to pass. How much old do you have?

Someone roll 66 damage for him. Yeah, it's more that, like, I'm worried about his total health. Yeah. He was a healing worded though. Yeah. He got Max Healing. Exactly 16. Oh, level two.

Oh, one's 16? Unreal. So don't take half? And no, and no toss. Half and no toss. It explode. 18, nine points of damage. How many squares does it go?

He's got five wet. There's one, two, three, four in the danger zone, and the fifth is safe. So there's four danger zones. How is it? Nine points, nine points of damage. And that's half. He's clear. Oh!

This is the thread breaks, and you turn and you watch. There are dozens of people. There are dozens of people. still on the battlefield, sprinting as quickly as possible, some getting hit by catapults, other, narrowly dodging other exploding landmines, and all of a sudden, as soon as these counterweights fall, they trigger the magic.

Everyone inside of the battlefield feels their belt suddenly clench in the exact same way that you saw earlier when that person broke the rules, and you hear the simultaneously scrunch and screams of terror. They don't last very long, but the five of you, are still alive. So much had to break our way.

You're a menace. Like, oh. What a terrible tragedy so much life's loss. But that's not where we'll end tonight's session. Somewhere watching, a group of people referred to as the clients. Shadowy faces staring down, placing their bets. the first trial is completed

which is one many powerful competitors this year would you not agree I believe in Glitzy always bet on the one with bombs another voice speaks

Glitzy it might be time to take a break from drugs for a day or so kind of give the old brain a good etch-a-sketch-shek shake You're from chat You beast I had no faith in Fel-Pip

I'm sorry for my foolishness, another voice echoes. That's amazing. Putting all my money on my boy John Claude. I would kill for Jean-Claude. Another voice echoes. The loxedon known as Babar is my choice. I saw the hunger in him when I denied him his mortal wish four years ago.

Oh, mother. Babar is just built different. Remember, none of us are to interfere. Our covenant prevents us from Jews. doing so, says another voice. I love all of this. This was actually exciting. All bets have been placed, a final voice speaks.

The competitors will now rest and preparations are already underway. We hope you have enjoyed this first phase of the game. And that's where we'll end tonight's session. What session? I already have my favorite moments. This is amazing. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Adventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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