Legends of Avantris - Cuttlefish Sweepstakes | Ep. 2 | Trunks of War

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

The party moves to round 2 of deadly games...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/YJavudEDFVs?si=q1Dm7SwrIpmmcBgs

Welcome to Legends of Aventrists. You live to see another game. The air crackles with arcane energy as you find yourself standing safely on the other side of a blood-soaked battlefield. The acrid scent of burnt earth fills your nostrils and the fading cries of fallen competitors lingers in the air. Before, you can fully comprehend your victory,

an eerie voice resonates in the air. Congratulations, survivors. It echoes. But do not revel in your success just yet, for this was only the first trial. As the voice fades, a blinding light hits you as two doors open revealing the other worldly dormitory on the other side.

You and the other survivors shuffle through the portal and into the space to find a veritable feast has been prepared for you. You are able to help. find nearly any delicacy and libation your heart desires, but the meal is a quiet one, as you absorb the terrifying trial you just endured, and you grapple with the inevitable fate that now faces all but one of you. Above you there is a beam of light, and before you a simple but elegant chest appears, floating in mid-air. The eerie voice booms forth once more. You have been

invited to participate in a series of challenges, pitted against one another for our select clientele. This is the grand prize. The chest opens and you watch in amazement as hundreds of streams of energy begin to swirl down and into the chest, each one glowing with brilliant, radiant light. Only one survivor will claim it. The rest will meet their demise. The chest slams closed and is surrounded by a golden globe of magical force. To the victor, we offer the chance to become a god. Survive and these spoils shall be yours, the voice promises. Fail and your very existence will be erased from memory.

The air grows heavy with tension as the gravity of your situation sinks in. You were a prisoner. Set free, only to become pawns in this sadistic game. The rules are unclear. Your path to triumph, unknown. The only certainty is that the path to victory will be deadly. Brace yourselves for the Cuddlefish sweepstakes has only just begun. And that's where you find yourselves, sitting in the dormitory,

looking up at this protected chest, and feeling still the scrape, scratches, and injuries of your experience, not but an hour ago. Wow, so many people died. I look up at the chest. This is really on the nose. The announcer guy, how on the nose this is.

Is there a way that we can unanimously agree to, you know, walk away and earn some sort of amount of money? No, stop asking. Do we have any idea how, many people didn't make it. You think that probably more than half of the people who originally were participating died in the

onslaught, the gauntlet of that battlefield. There are still hundreds of people around you, perhaps 300 all told, but that isn't to say that you didn't just witness the deaths of hundreds of people. It's shocking that so many survived, given the treacherous nature of that Wow. It screams of agony with this music to my ears. I mean, I'm so sorry to hear all the friends dying.

That said, I'm not here to make friends. Oh, and I'm so glad, Jean-Claude, that you made it, and that we both made it together, and I was trying to help you earlier and not kill you to remove one more obstacle. I would like to present the exhibit A. sudden but inevitable, betrayable. That's not very friendly. Babbar isn't becoming a god, kind of your whole thing? You didn't shut the fuck up about it in prison.

It's the only thing that I have desired for the last, nearly a decade. Well, only one of us is gonna survive. Yeah, I mean, the dark one that's stalked the wood will give me the power to become a god and set it aside probably at his right hand. But I mean, good life. luck everybody. I think we'll all win then we can cheer it together, I guess.

I don't like those odds. The odds are not good, but we're here, and the only way out is to be the sole remaining winner. Oh, do you think there are any rules about murdering our competitor than the in-betweens? Hey, boys! This horrific, like, awful, evil smile like curls up around Mabar's face as he looks at Phelpit. Gosh, I hope nobody does that. I hope nobody poisons the canteen with horrible, toxic blight curbed by the horned king himself.

I can't believe that like an unnamed amount of time, all you guys are gonna be dead. One of us is gonna be standing on the bones of our friends and strangers. And horns. There aren't any horns here. And hooves. I look over to a goat guy

who's got horns and hooves. There aren't any wons or hoops here. He catches your eye and he's like, well, I thought, I mean, they're not that small, they're actually average. My horns have an average side

is if you actually look at the typical average of a theta. Climps doesn't even love your phone. And you know, they say the thigh doesn't really matter. I think they can be too big. again it hurts.

I don't think anyone says that. Well, no, they say it, they pay it. They really do say it. Trust me, I know. Oh, well, are you blind and you're going to survive? Oh, no, I was just thinking

about what was going to happen, but now that my attention's drawing the felt, but you've got such tiny, cute little ones. Has anyone ever told you that? Yeah, all the time. And who? I'm very self-conscious. I mean, I don't really care about it.

that much at all. And it's definitely not the reason why I went down the path of darkness and sacrificing teenagers. I'm sorry, you did what? What? I mean, the sacrifices is more of like, oh, you know, everyone's like, let's go off in the woods and party. Oh no, that's a horrible piece that talks the woods.

How can we afford to see them? But that's definitely not you, though. Because you're so small and cute. Oh, yeah, exactly right. I'm very cute. I couldn't hurt a flea. Especially not a flea if it was a bunch of humans. Is there any rules about murdering each other outside of the competition?

Silence. I'm going to go to where the food is. You go to where the food is and are delighted to find that almost any item that you could imagine is on this long, long, long table ready for the picking. And there are people who are seemingly not just from the mortal plane, but from all over different planes of existence. And so there's a lot of unusual food fodder, as well as common food like you would find any old fantasy tavern,

like a grilled cheese sandwich. Come. I missed that one. You said anyway, it's fine. Someone looked at the bunch of com at the food cake. You said come and then you paused. And so I said, ew. Oh, that's funny.

Yeah. Anytime we make that joke. Still hilarious, everybody. It's very funny. You eat, you rest, and it seems that as the lights are sort of dimming, that the expectation is that you'll find yourself a free bed and sleep through the night in hopes for the recovery that comes with it to prepare for the game in the morrow.

Do I get the sense if I attempted to cause chaos and pandemonium and murder? That I would get caught. Make a perception check. And I'll use one of my twists of bread. That's not. Oh, I got a full. What is it? Look there. Oh shit. Those are dragon dice.

Oh fuck. Hold on. Perception. Say okay. We'll use a squishy dice. Oh, gosh. Come on, man. It's like you didn't even watch the series. They didn't start killing each other. It's almost the very end. Oh, no. Self-. No. I haven't seen if any reason. They also didn't have self-hip in that shit. It's true.

Um... 14 of all thing. Uh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Steal. Perception. Perception. Perception. Perception. Perception. Oh, I'm not proficient. 18. 18. Deception, perception, perception? 18. Within 18, you see that these sentries are positioned all along the perimeter of this room. The pyramid heads continue to stand, vigilant as always.

You are not sure whether or not they would intervene in such an act. Well, I suppose I could. use summon conjure animals and summon a bunch of poison a snake. Uh, and just canoe and go and whistle and whistle while they go around and try to bite and poison people. Okay. Um, I let go into the bathroom. I follow him in the bathroom. Oh my stomach. Oh gosh, all the grilled, I hate to you. many grilled cheese. I think he ate too much of the gum that they had laid out on that table.

I ain't. I didn't. Too much. Please don't sit. Please don't sit. Uh, is too much, too much grilled cheese. Too much grilled cheese. I, uh, I shank Philp in the showers.

I don't, I don't go to the bathroom. You all have to deck out with your fucking, like, adventuring gear. You've got everything that you need. that you need. I still pull out a shake from a wittled down fork. I assumed it was going to be a whittled down, uh, candy cane. It's no, it's, it's a, it's a wound down bone from like a piece of meat from the, oh yeah. It's like a bone shank from there. You've still got the prison mindset. I like that. Oh yeah. How long were you in that prison, walrus? No, I don't know. You tell me. It's your backstory.

Three days. It was three days. You really took to it quick. You never got a chance. to shank. You were looking forward to it. Yeah. You've heard a lot about the shankans. Um, so we're still in prism. It's just a different flavored prism. Yeah, it's just a nightmare. So what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to go into the bathroom,

and we don't have to repeat this. But, uh... We don't have to arpe this as he starts to arpeaths. Oh, my tummy, I ate you my grilled cheese. Oh, God, this is going to be... Oh, gosh. This is going to be... This is going to be the ritual of the dark one. Oh, gosh.

Oh, my God. This is going to be... I forgot I'm like those entire. Oh, no. It's going to be worth in that time at Richard Thrivebox in front of us. That's very funny. And I would like to... What is the...

What should call it? Conjure animals at a third level. And I would like to conjure eight poisonous snakes. Okay. And I want to do those things where... Do you control the snakes? Yes. It would be so bad.

If you were like summoned greater demon? The summer crews are friendly to you and your companions. So technically rules is written. Not to be that guy. But technically either the DM decides where you, or the DM randomizes it in some way, what animal you, you summon. Oh, really?

I know we've always done it where the player chooses, but... I should probably read the spell. Conjure animals? Just wanted to throw that over to you. Thank you. It says choose one of the following options. One beast, two beasts, eight beasts.

Yeah, you can choose beasts, eight beasts. You just didn't realize there were going to be wombats. Yeah. I'm going to try to do poison the snakes. And so what I'm trying to do is, you know, how... Count Duku hired Django Fett to kill Padmay. And so then Django Fett hired Zam Wessel to kill Padme. So then Zamm Wessel.

hired a robot to kill Padmay and then the robot hired bugs that checks out I'm just trying to do that last part and just skip I'm trying to cut out the middleman I'm just trying to cut out the middle man um

so you were that's very funny eight beasts of challenge rating one quarter or lower I am trying to summon eight poisonous snakes which is one eighth You accidentally summon giraffes. Okay.

Bad boehler, watch out! Some poisonous snakes! It could technically be eight camels. Yeah, I wasn't getting about giraffes. Ponies, frogs, seahors, owls. Seaholes, scorpions, weasels, vultures. Well, it has to be from the one-quarter slot, right? Yeah.

Yeah, that's all... That's one-eighth. Five, six. Oh, one quarter. Oh my god, there's even more. 10. You are in one of the bathroom stalls and evering to cast a magical spell.

Oh boy. Conjure animals. Yeah. You think and you focus really, really hard on giant poisonous snakes. Not giant. Just regular poisonous snakes. It's one quarter of CR, right?

Oh, I was going to do one eighths. So yeah, actually, I'll do giant poisonous snakes. Well, it doesn't say you can do one eighth. You can do lower. Right, but it's eight of one quarter. or eight of one-eighth or eight of zero. So do you want the weaker of the snakes? Because they're more stealthy.

They're smaller. They're smaller. Oh. They're less disruptive. You want the... Oh, yeah, no. It's the bugs that the robot hired, that Sam Wessel hired, that Daniel Fed hired, the Count D. hired. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Keep up there. Yeah, come on Derek. Jesus fucking gross. I'm sorry. I had a big sandwich, and I'm slow. Yeah, okay. A snake and cheese. You focus on the poison of snakes and beseech. your patron. And looking down into the toilet bowl,

all of a sudden you see conjuring eight regular-sized poisonous snakes. And they're all immediately are doing this, like out of a basket, looking at you. Doc one, sneaky snake.

Beat them sneaky snake. and kill the competition. I'm not here to make friends. And I'll look at the camera. Yeah, well, I mean, I thought that after the first trial that we really had to clear out the competition, and I'm not here to make friends. So I thought that, you know, why not just kind of do it

in between games, too, with sneaky snake, thanks to the powers of the dark one. You step out of the stupid. Also, John Claude not stops snoring. I don't think it's heavy. The wood blocks. effect. From Rupertalli, all about reality TV.

You conjure these snakes from nothing but your magical connection to your dark lord. And do you send them on your way? Do you give them commands or do you? I'm going to say, go, because they're inherently friendly to me and my companion. So I'm pursuing the party. So basically just go and sneakily bite and poison and kill whoever feels, you know, be predators. Okay. How long for it last?

An hour. It's only to take a few people to get bitten before, like, panic and erupts and, like, killing each other. Yeah, yeah. And so the idea is that, yeah, I want to call utter chaos. They slink out of the bowl and start to hug the walls and make their way. Some of them going up into the ceiling almost and immediately shrinking and starting to go into the dormitory itself. You step out of the stall, feeling pleased with yourself that perhaps there will be fewer competitors. will be fewer competitors between you and the ultimate prize. As you do, another individual

steps out of the stall across from yours, and he looks at you sort of shocked for a moment. No, I should have shut the door. And then he hurriedly makes his way out, and you can see some snakes coming out of his bowl. What? What? Absolutely chaos. What?

Absolutely chaos. What? Um, I guess you should roll a stealth check and, uh, I'm not sure how to do this in mass, so I'm just gonna roll a few. So stealth, I'll roll, I can roll stealth for all of them. I'll do a blanket one. Yeah. Stealth is a 15.

Okay. That's pretty good. Okay. And then I can like make some attack rolls. There's only one D1 piercing damage, but then two. 2d4 poison damage. If they fail at Constitution saving, half as much. Okay.

So the idea is to basically like bite people and... And there are eight of them. There's eight, yeah. So roll a D8. Okay. Five. Roll five attack rolls. It's like war game style.

Yeah, right. Have many hit, then you roll for toughness versus wounds. Yeah, yeah. 12 miss, natural. one and then two 19s. You have twists? Bird the twists. I'm saving them.

Two 19s? Yeah. Two 19s and then 812. One of them fails, so they'll take the poison damage. If you have, I think, an innate connection with these conjured snakes, you can sort of get a sense of where they are, maybe not see through their eyes, but you know that they continue to exist. And then the garden of Eden. When all of a sudden you all hear the screams, the shrieks.

Oh my God! It's snakes! And one person falls and tumbles from the top of his bug bed area, slamming to the ground clearly killed from snake bite poison. Another person clutches their arm and grabs the end of a snake and starts whipping it around attempting to kill it. He does so quickly. You can see that there's quite a spectrum of power levels across the board here.

The first individual was no stronger than but a simple farmer, Whereas the other was more of a barbarian and shrugs off the poison before tearing your snake into pieces and of course it vanishes into magic. The pyramid heads make no move to intervene or interfere. They simply watch the goings-on and people start getting very, very suspicious and pretty soon everyone is very much on alert. Trying to get rest for the coming trial, but certainly now, aware of that the... There are snakes of foot.

There are snakes of foot. All run out. Oh my god, did you see the snake? I can't believe one almost got me. Oh, my whole life with flashed before my eye. The sweet release of death was ahead of me. I mean, no. What do you call these grilled cheese?

I was like a pleaded of like 30 grilled cheeses. Oh, no. It's pretty good. I should probably try another. I'll look around very disappointed. Like, you go for the barbarian and adventure. Go for the peasant. John Claude is having a bucket of fried chicken.

I'll say, what do you call this? Fried surprise? Poor the taboo of cannibalism. He dies of shock. I say for no reason. I'll say for no reason. I know what's wrong, but Lord, is it delicious. Oh, man, brutal.

Are any of you doing anything else with your time? This sounds like another night in prison. I go to bed immediately. Oh, I'll nurse this snake bite wound. Thank goodness. I sucked it all out myself. Do we perceive that Felip did this? Can I roll something to like, just to see if I know that you?

I mean, you can. I would say roll an insight check in advantage. Because you know Felip and his. You know it for three whole days. For three whole days, you've known him. 19 and a 20. Wow! Oh, that's pretty good.

In sight. 22. Yeah, yeah. You immediately, as soon as he came out of the bathroom, Smirk had a sense that he was up to mischief. And as soon as you heard the screams about snakes and the initial kerfuffle, you made the connection that Philpip had already started to whittle down the competition. was that you?

What are you talking about? Is this saying they're not a snake? No, I'm just a whole... I mean, when they all came out of the bathroom, I figure there were various snake villains, like snake-themed villains. Yeah, there's so many snake villains. Is that what happened?

That way they came from? Gosh! Why would anyone do that? That's not sportsmanship like at all. You were literally just in that bathroom. They could have gotten you all over themselves. They did, look. I got a wound in my inner.

thigh here and I thunded out all the poisons. There was another guy and then I had to help. You're sucked out the poison from your own inner thigh. Oh, it's the dog one's blessing. You're incredibly flexible. I can't give you very flexible. Can you put the inner thigh back down, please? Oh, it's so terrible.

Oh, it's so terrible. Oh, it's so terrible. Look. Are you on peace, Slyther's past as you guys are having this? as you guys were having this. Oh, I think it was that. Oh, I think it was him. No, I mean, look, you went into the bathroom.

I thought about falling you in there, but I didn't. I got this plate of groove cheeses. Instead, that was definitely you. No, it wasn't. Bad Borr is reveling in the chaos. Yeah. And he would have just been ready to protect himself and maybe take an opportunity to, like, form some people, but, like, was not worried and more, like,

reveling in the absolute chaos and death. I'm sure. I would go, we don't have to role play this, I would go to the barbarian, the biggest, baddest person who got attacked by the snake, and I'll point out Lewanty, hey, I found the guy that did it. Oh my gosh, he's trying to kill you.

Can you believe? The goal of the thing. Oh, what a terrible guy. He almost got me. Poor little belpip. I got him here to find things. This was man who created snakes. Yeah, look at him, look even you wantee.

The... He's a persuasion check. Oh, hey, persuasion. Get him. Look, he's got a snake. He's a probably rip him in the hands. Unacceptable. We only win through the games.

Ambassador Winterbone will take care of him. And he pulls his sleeves up and immediately makes his way over for the watch. They get into a conflict. One of them wins. The other one dies. Oh, I hate to see why I live. Oh, you hate to see it. Can we all live?

get along and help each other become God. This has been an eventful first evening. Well, if, look, if my hunch is right, good job, good going. Our team's gonna win for sure. Well, yeah. I think it would that make, I think that's what you get for being deceitful and treacherous. The walrus is correct. For now we can work together and get as far as we possibly can,

with the understanding that eventually we will have to turn on each other. No. Yeah, but can't we like turn on each other but like with loyalty and a strict set of rules and guidelines so that we're not doing deceitful things to each other? Like we can deceive and lie and cheat against everyone else but like against each other we're gonna play fair, right? I think we're a team. We're team.

Oh yeah, we're team. No, we're not. Good team the walrus. I would backstab all of you for a shiny nickel. I mean, we would never. I hate betrayal. Oh, hold on one second. Hold on.

I would never, I don't like this evening trickery. I'm going to go through pyramid ad. Look at that poor period. Look at an ambassador, whatever in the birth of the name is. Look, look. They're fighting combat. He killed that poots. In this snake puts.

Look, oh, you're going to just damn it? He's just finishing up beating this person completely to a pulp. The Uante is definitely dead. Ambassador Winterbone has succeeded in his episode. Winterbone. Look at what a name. Ambassador Winterbone did to that port. I'm pretty sure his name's Winter Splinter.

Oh, that's much better than Winterbone. Well, Winterbone, Lisa Babarian, he's not going to be good at naming himself. Oh, my God. Mr. Pyramidhead, ma'am, you're really going to, like, let that happen in your own cafeteria? I feel like... He looks over at one of the other pyramid heads. The other pyramid head looks at him. Then they both look at you, and they just sort of nod like this.

You're going to let that happen, really? You're going to let that happen? I also think he called you a terrible name. He said you were a triangle head. He doesn't understand James. He looks surprisingly, like, a little offended, but... But he seems to be in control of himself in this moment. Oh, well, okay, fine.

Oh, good, we have to avoid violence. Okay, goodbye, good night. Thanks for the grilled cheese. Are you complete with your sandwiches, or are you only, like, halfway through? Like, how fast is the... It's probably, like, 30%. Oh. So you're gonna be there sometime.

Yeah, well, you know, just what else we have to do? Not very little, just chat, hanging out. Man, that ambassador Winnerbone guy, he's a pretty nice guy. Although, I mean, the thing we said about you, Baba, we're really uncalled for. But he was the nice guy from that. So be it, I will exact my revenge on all of these beings when I ascend to Godhood. I'm glad we can be together, especially at God's and be realty people. and be real team play it here.

I think we play as a team, and once we're the last one standing, we'll break out here. Yeah, we split it and be a good friend and not. Yes, exactly right. Yeah, definitely not that second part. Yeah, definitely not. Well, oh, I'm dying.

Ladies and gentlemen, John Claude pipes up. I'd like to move on to bed. on the grounds that I am tired. And he goes over to a bunk bed. Well said, John Cloud, I'll join you. You'll get into the same bad thing.

Yeah, I'll say bad present. Looks like the old days, huh? I say, I say, I'm starting to present myself with Exhibit Z. That's actually very funny. That's very funny. That's very funny. I'd give you an inspiration, but you don't get one.

That's pretty good. I think if you want me to do. That's pretty good. You do hear goings-on in the evening, and when you wake up, a number of additional bodies can be found. Either murdered in their sleep without having made any sort of attempt

to survive at all, or others just completely plastered, or some just missing entirely, perhaps by some magic. However, You are all able to enjoy the benefits of a long rest. Hot dog. Look at that loser.

We didn't make any attempt to survive. The king on Cloven Hoove give me beautiful, beautiful nightmare of blood and fire. Fire and blood. The gates open. And the spinning chest is surrounded by this golden globe at the top. has been shining down on you all night. And it's only now, in the brilliant light of wherever these doors lead, that it's diminished somewhat.

As you're distracted and look through, you find yourself staring into another large, large space. As big as the battlefield arena that you all had to race across just the previous day. And as you are led in there by the pyramid heads and other various platonic-shaped headed people, you eventually come to a stop and the voice cries out. Select, group yourselves into teams of four players each, and give your team a name.

Oh yeah, that's the. John Claude, you can't play with them. You committed to be a taboo of Canada, then we have to get them from you. Goodbye, John Claw. Okay. We're authorizing you. We'll have to start than you.

Get out of here. Get out of here, John Claw. The walrus was correct. We hope you perish. We'll be a team for now. I was looking for other pixies that might have been part of my band, but I don't see any. And I look over in a group of pixies that clearly

look very much like glitzy. There are three of them. Do we think they have to take John Claw? Well, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, we'll be called the drumstick and the pixie sticks, I'll say, I'll say, the pixie sticks. That's very funny. Hold on, hold on, do you think maybe this is some kind of trick? Like maybe only one member from each team survives? It's certainly possible.

Anything is possible when it comes to these murderous games. Oh, what do we do? Nothing possible. Nothing can't be teamwork. For the sake of the execution and stuff, let's do it. That'll be really fine. All right, fine. We're team the walrus.

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Peter, Midhead. Do the whole team die together? Or can team win and other teams die? You get no response. Get no response, and it's becoming evident to you that only the head frontman-style announcer voice person is, I don't care. Everyone else is speechless. They don't have the ability to produce sound from their pyramid head.

They have no pyramid mouths or any pyramid vocal cords. So it looks at you, and you get the sense that even if it had the ability to speak, it would be forbidden to give anyone insights into the coming game. Oh, wait, that doesn't mean they've got to win. All right, yes, we're going to win. Sorry, John Claude, we're going to have to see you life. Sorry, you want to turn you in a bucket of fries again. I'm way over here.

I said, lay off. And so you are not looking for additional competitors to join other teams. You've decided that, come hell or high water, the four-person team will be Team the Walrith, and it will include the four of you. It's whatever you want, but I'm just putting forward, Team the Walrus. I mean, that's kind of have the ring to it.

Maybe, maybe the Walrith and the rest. The Wallerth and Friends. What about you, Babbarity ideas? Quite frankly, I don't care. The name will not guarantee victory or cause failure. All right, fine, we could be called Team the Walrus. I feel like there's gotta be a ninth pun here.

We can't let John Claude have the cooler team name. We have to focus on the task at hand. But wasn't part of the task at hand to find a group of four people and give ourselves a team name? We've done that. The Walrus. Team the Walrus. But what if there's like a boating competition and we immediately get accident killed if

we have a shitty name no one likes? Then we'll start killing as many people as we can get our hands on before we're murdered. Wait, wait, hold on. I have something even better. The mighty tusks. Huh? That sounds pretty good. That's pretty good. Do you have any kind of...

Do you have any kind of... Do you have any kind of... Do you have any... Matching... Matching piercings, maybe we could see your tusks. No, but like instead of calling us there's the mighty, we could call herself the glitzing tusks, because I'm glitzy.

Yeah. Well, it's a little close to some other words. I don't think of it. Well, Andy is thrilled with either name, but that bar must act indifferent. No, I think you have tusks in a certain way, you know, in your own pixie fairy way. No, I don't.

I'm not chitonist at all. There are tusks in your soul. You are a brave and mighty moria. Your various piercings are sort of tusk-esque. Don't you have like two? You have like two bar-piercing. through your lip. I have a trolltuss gearing.

Oh, there you go. Good enough. I love. I love ripping troll tuts from their mouth while they're still alive. Someone comes around, they have a board, and they are clearly taking the names down from all the different teams. And it takes a little while. Not only because there are folks who are less decisive than the four of you and are jumping from team to team, there's a lot of different. There's a lot of debate going on all around you.

You can see people steal from one another teammates and then reassemble new groups. And the number of people, because of the deaths that happened overnight, is no longer divisible by four. And so there is one person who's on their own team at the end of this. And that's John Claude. He was kicked out of the Pizzi-Chic. It isn't.

But it is another Eric Okro. The Pixie Chick-Chicillet! That's right good. You're all directed to stay together as a team and get into lines. And very quickly, you can see a platform is constructed before your very eyes, magically assembling itself in front of you. Click, click, click, click, click, click. Taller and taller and taller.

Two towers, one on each side. getting higher and higher and higher and higher until finally they stop hundreds of feet into the air. And the eerie voice continues to boom out. Players will, teams will compete against one another. They will go up on either of the tower sides and be forced to play a simple game of tug-of-war. Oh, Evie.

Oh! And we will randomize which team you face. And so they start to pull names out of a hat. And essentially, comparing the two names, you see the teams go up. When they reach the bottom of the platform, they immediately are bamfed up to the top. There's no long wait or stairs to climb. They simply suddenly find themselves at the top. And you can see, even in the distance that you have to watch

from this low vantage point, that after a few preparations, their hands are locked to this magical rope. And there's a significantly sized gap between the two of them. And pretty soon, there's a whistle that sounds. And you can see it being pulled back and back and back and forth until finally one side dips on, It's enough that they counterweight and completely fall down into the gap. The magical rope doesn't even come to attention or pull the other side at all.

As soon as the other team is on that is off the platform, it breaks, it evaporates. It turns into nothing but sparkles and glitter. And the watch as the old team fall, fall, fall, before slamming into the ground, like burlap sacks filled with vegetable soup. How many feet? Roughly. 500. What's the average damage of 500 D6?

Is that how much it is? No 50 D6. It would be 48. It would be 48 D6, right? Like, because the first 10 feet are free. 48 D6 is, that's a lot. Right, because if you don't 10 feet, I don't think that you take, like, you've done 5 feet, you don't take one D6 damage every time you hop down from a wall or something. That's a good point.

That's a lot of times. Is it 3.5? That's 0.35, 3.5. On average, 168 damage, that'll do it. Yeah, that would outright kill any of us, probably. You get the sense that even if you survived the fall or endeavored to stop yourself through magical means, that my narrative losing the tug of war,

that you would be killed in some way or that there would be something to prevent it. Yeah, the Walrus said it shot with an Oozoozy. The Oozys, yeah. Oh yeah, you see a bunch of your. people with Oozies. Wow, it's close to being. You wait and you watch team after team after team.

With the number of people that were still remaining, even after the losses of the previous day, there are 74 teams in all. And so it takes most of the morning for you to finally hear your name. Team the Walrus get called out. Mighty tasks! We fixed. Oh, fuck.

They didn't get them fixed me. They fucked it up. I'm sorry, they fucked it up. Team Mighty Tusks gets called out, and you realize that you are walking to potentially your final minutes. What are you all doing as you start to approach the platform? Babbar would be very confident. He was made for this.

He'd be lumbering up, making sure to get the blood going, get warmed up. But he would probably have taken his armor off. for maximum mobility, and he would be ready to absolutely crush this. Okay. I will be our anchor. Yes, you're very strong. I'm really glad I'm on your team, and I feel bad for Jean-Claude. Is it an air cooker with a bunch of pixies?

They're toast. Oh, well, here's the thing. I don't think there's any rules about blown up the other team. So I think the second things go wrong, we just lit loose. What do you think? That's right. What do you think, Glitsey? Yeah, the only problem I see with that is people's hands rank into that rope and so much

of what I can do with my explosives requires my hands. Well, can you just like, look, go and throw a bomb over there, you know? I don't think so. Oh, fuck. But we'll definitely try if I can. Unless the dungeon master when the time comes. Don't hold anything back. Like you said, if for a second we think things are not going our way, we'll do anything

to win. Yes. It is life again. commit horrible atrocities. That's right. If neither. And you try and win this game. Even against the weak and the helpless and the elderly.

Yes. No matter who it is. No matter. No mercy. No mercy. The Horn King himself would really not like it if I stowed any mercy in the game. We don't have to put it all like that. I mean, we're just fighting us revived.

It's like nature. Like the walruses and penguins have to do every day of their lives. Well, I suppose that's true. And you put it like that, you know, from a point of you in, that's how it goes. Nature doesn't give mercy. We're not going to relish in it. Yeah, I mean, I can, I would relish him a little bit. I'm with Fellpip.

I will relish it a bit. Yeah, I mean, there's no reason why we can't, like, relish it. Well, if I could get, like, poked up by the music, I might relish it a little bit. Oh, yeah, I don't feel like we're in a... Elvin Tavern. Yeah, there might be an Elvis Tavern. It might be faking. I'm not quite sure. Anyways, let's fucking kill them all.

You can't get him with your voice. It's really killing me. It's really killing me. You turn and you hear the other name of the team called out, the intimidating annihilator, and you look over and you see a tall, muscular, fearball standing next to a tall, muscular-looking Goliath, looking, standing next to an even taller minotar,

who's also muscular, standing next to a stout dwarf. And they are looking mean and intimidating, just as the name was written on the tent. They stare you down as they walk over to the platform and stand into the center of the sort of magic circle just at the base of this platform and looking up, they get beamed.

All of a sudden, you know that they are there at the top of the platform, readying for your arrival. Are we ready? Are we feeling good about this? Yes. I think I could summon some animals to help us and not get horribly murdered. I think we can probably do whatever we want. That's a good point. From a mechanical standpoint, it simply matters whether or not the DM will stop us

from casting spells that require somatic components. That's right. Oh, and before you turn into a way, I'll make sure to ask lots of questions about the dimensions of what we're standing on. That'd be a terrible nightmare. terrible nightmare I would never put you off of that in a million years. Listen, we all have some tricks up our sleeves. Don't do anything over the top. Just enough to get by, all right?

Well, okay. Okay. Are we ready? Yes. Oh, yeah. See? Yeah. I'm going to turn into a creature here. You make your way up. You find yourself. at the top of the platform and you're amazed that they're high up enough that the temperature seems to have dropped a degree or two.

You can feel the cold wind and there is no protective barriers in any directions to prevent you from falling off, let alone where you are worried that you may be pulled off in but a moment. You can see that suspended in front of you is this beautiful braided cord. It's not just the rope. It seems to be made of metal fibers and non-magical fibers alike. It looks unbreakable, this thick, sturdy rope, and you don't move to touch it just yet. Metal fiber for some of it?

Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like it's like woven mithril, almost. And you look over at the other team, and you can see that they are also themselves stretching, talking, pumping themselves up, getting ready for what could be a life or death situation. What is a life or death situation? Okay, I'm ready. Blah, blah, blah, blah, donkey Kong country.

I wonder what is turning into. And there's going to be a giant, like, a fiendish black portal that opens up, and there will be a big floating barrel above a large wooden crate with a pit, with a picture of a rhinoceros on it. Ah, you threw it for a lute there. Okay, I'm ready. What are you doing? I am endeavoring to summon a rhinoceros

and then transform into an ape and ride the rhinoceros, talking on country style. And have both of us pull on the rope. Using my druid powers, dungeon master. That's fine. That's fine. So here's how this is going to work mechanically, and then we'll figure out how to... we'll figure out how to adjudicate that.

I'm ready to do it before the action starts. I always blow it and sit there. Oh, banana. That's fair, that's fair. Let's draw a quick map because we're gonna need to simulate this. Can I see the blutin? The bloopin.

So then does a walrus or felpit next, if we're going in order of weight here? Well, in terms of weight, I'm probably second. Even after he turned into a girl riding to the right house. Oh no, no, no, definitely not. Don't we need somebody in the back as like... The anchor?

Yeah, big person. That's Babbar. Okay, just making sure we're not putting a glist. No, no, no, you're up front. You're up, especially because that way if you want to fire off some offensive spells, you can just fuck them up. Do you have any very close range spells? What's the distance between us and them? It's over 30 feet, I think.

Walnut, peanut, peanut, pineapple smell. We're starting in the middle or? Okay. So, two away. Two away. Okay. And I need to get... Oh, we need to get some map situation here.

I'll just use these. Oh, do you get the skulls? Okay. Oh, I'm gonna pour myself coffee while you do. Oh, I never press the button. Oh, classic. Oh, I suck. I suck.

I suck. I was so excited. I was so excited. No, I think there was a bad idea. I'm just gonna, you're not gonna pull yourself. No, no, yeah, you can't go out the other direction. You can't go off the other direction. Okay.

Are you sure? Yes. Three. I think you're right. Everyone should be free away. Oh man, I feel like I'm in the homeland of the dwarf. Maybe we can go to Golbalah Quarry and fight some trog later on.

The trogns know what they did. Oops. That's the tricky angle. I think you're gonna be okay. Oh yeah. That works. All right. Once you grab onto the rope, you will be bound by it.

You will not be able to, it's like an electrical current. Hold you there. You will not be able to let go of the rope even after you are pulled off. So you will be effectively stuck in that way. What we'll do is we'll go around the horn and sort of say what you're doing to contribute. You can pull, which allows you to roll a strength check, and At the end, we can add up all of the contributed strength check rolls. So if you each got 10 and you all contributed, then that would be a total of 40.

And we'll compare that to what the intimidating annihilators get. And if you're under, for every rounding up five, then you'll get pulled in that direction. If you're over, then every rounding up five, you'll get pulled in that direction. And it'll be back and forth until someone falls off. You aren't going to actually drop until more than two of your peoples are hanging off. Yep. So that's the tipping point. Okay. More than two? So the third person needs to come. The third person is the one that...

Yeah. We're all gonna hit level three. Um... Okay. Things like movement rules, like perhaps having a rhino will just be like, give you advantage on the thing. It wouldn't count as an additional role. would not count as an additional contribution to the... Advantage is pretty good, though.

That's true. And hanging creatures are pulling, are making it harder for you to pull against the opposing team, so they'll incur a penalty based on their size. So small, negative 5, medium, negative 10, large, negative 15, and so on. And you just need to pick an order. Oh, and if you want to use something, a bonus action, as long as it doesn't require somatic components, because you're... your hands are going to be locked in, you can contribute in that way as well.

So I'm going to give you guys a quick coffee break because we're brewing, A, and B, because I want you guys to think about how you want to spend your rounds to make this occur. Can we cast spells? If it doesn't, oh, it's an action to contribute the street check. But we can just ignore it and cast spells instead. That's right, as long as there are no semantic components, because your hands will still be locked to the row. Okay. That is what I will use.

I've got a plan. I've got a strategy. All right. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Avantress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crookedmoon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement,

The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragon 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. You stand on the top of this tall, tall platform, this tower, looking in the eyes of the intimidating annihilators. And they are ready. And as a group in perfect harmony, they reach down and grab onto their section of the rope, suspended magic. in the air, they grip, and you can see this charge almost emanate from their hands and from their arras and around their bodies, and they put it underneath their arms, they interlock and stand,

you know, feet wide, sort of testing the tensile strength of this powerful, magical rope. It doesn't budge, for the whistle has not yet been blown. And they look each of you in the eyes, and you can see the determination on their face. However confident you may feel, in this moment, still the pricks of sweat start to show up on the surface of your skin, on your brow, on your hands, you feel a little bit of clammy,

knowing that should you and your companions, your allies, not see it through, this could mean a very violent end for you. and perhaps be erased from all memory, according to the eerie voice. Oh, no, that's terrible. You each in turn, in what order are we? We're glitzy. Glitzy, walrus,

polymorphed or transformed. As soon as I feel like we're ready, I'm not going to do, yeah. Fellpip and Babar, Bavar. Those of you who are ready, who are not doing anything in preparation, and grab onto the rope. You feel that this is your moment

and fell Pip, you suddenly transform. Expandong! As I'm going to go, oh, banana, as I jump onto the box, and you hear, as a rhinoceros appears, and then I'll jump into the barrel, and I'll swirl around, I will turn into an ape,

and I'll say, oh, yeah. And I will, with the help of my rhinoceros mount, I'm going to grab the... You see the eyes of your competitors widen and then shrink as they look even more determined than ever to see such magical hijinks. They seem to be in complete confidence in their physical abilities and they buckle down for what's to come. And it's as soon as you take a grip of the rope, you hear this whistle moment and there's no initiative, but the tug of war has begun.

As soon as the whistle blows, I would shout Corby's team heave and and begin to prepare for whatever my teammates would like to do. Glitzy, as the person in front, you are staring down and they begin to pull immediately. You feel for a brief moment the rope goes slack and then pull taut and you realize these are some strong fuckers. These are you doing. This is going to be a strength check if you are spending your action to do that. Well, for them, so it's an ability chest. For them, it's going to be a straight step.

Can I use my reaction to bend their luck? You can certainly try. How does that work? So it's just one of my features. But another creature I can see makes an attack roll and a ability check or a saving throw. I can use my reaction and spend two of my surgery points to take a 1d4 off of their roll.

Okay, so which one do you choose them? The one in front. Oh, yeah. I'm going to look at him and I'm going to bite my tongue, and I'm going to spit. and he's gonna see the blood as I bend his luck. Okay. So that'll be 1d4 from the first ability check, Strengthball.

Yeah, from his, yeah, because I see them to do. Do you do anything else with your bonus action? Are you spending your action to pull? I'm gonna spend my action to pull. Okay, you're spending your action to pull. Is it athletics? It's just strength. Okay.

So just D20 plus your strain mod? No, I'm gonna allow acrobatics or athletics. Yeah, if you are proficient with either of those, you could add your proficiency bonus. I believe that that was glitzy. Then it's the wall wrist. The wall rest. What are you doing with your turn? Every single one of my spells is,

semantic components. Yep. Yeah, I think it's only paladins and like healing words. Fuck, and then I just pull! You just pull? I just pull. It's all I can do. I don't have a single feature.

Fuck! And I'm going to yank. Oh, no. You're contributing to pull, and you're an advance because the rhino is shuffling up behind you. Um, Barbar, what are you doing? Well, I had a plan, but, uh, command and hold persons, uh, range for me, it's 60 feet.

So I'm gonna pull. Uh, but I'm gonna use athletics. Is it for living 60? It's, yes. From here to here is like 60. Oh. Desperate. I just counted it out.

510, 15, 20, 25, 35, 30, 35, 30, 45, 50, 50, 50, 5, 50, 5, 60. I got a 22, by the way. Everyone's contributing. I'm gonna use athletics. Yep. It's up to you? So yours? Yeah, I'm twisting.

I'm going to use one of my first. Because I've got a huge, I've got a huge bonus, if you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Oh, not much better. You still twist again. I could. I'm going to use one more. It's for the team.

Better. There we go. Much better. I got a 22 for athletics. Okay. 22 from you, Babar. What did you get? Walworth.

Uh, 22. 22. Nice. I rolled the 19. That's huge. Yeah. It's all up it. 20.

Oh, they're not beating that. Get fucked. Wow. I got rolled a natural 19 plus seven to after that. Yeah, that's amazing. God, I was gonna either command or two of them to, like, to drop. Yeah, like, I have so many cool things I can do, but because of the semantic thing. Well, I was gonna get around somatic, I was gonna be super rosalier about it and say that I use my trunk.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Command is just verbal, but the whole person is somatic, and I was going to simply... Do you have a feature where your trunk counts as a limb? It doesn't count as a limb, but I can use it to grab things and pull, like, 100 extra pounds. So I was going to, like, well, Jerry. I was going to try to rule's lawyer the shit. I mean, but I'm not in range.

I'm not. Like, rules is written. Does a trunk count? I don't know. But maybe not because of the fingers. I was going to rule's lawyer and try to argue it. It is called trunk. I can use my trunk as a snorkel or to grasp things.

Lift up a number of pounds equal to five times my strength, which is 100 pounds. Wow, pretty good. Yeah. Okay. You see the first, the Deliath, who's at the front of this slip just a little bit. Something magical, having transpired, let's see, from your innate magic. But they pull extremely, extremely hard. It's not good enough.

And they suddenly, because the rhino is pulling, and all of you are pulling in such unity, they all get pulled 15 feet towards you. Fifteen? Yes. So we move back 15 feet. You move back 15 feet. One, two, three. And they move all the way up to the edge.

Holy shit. These guys are absolutely bored. These guys are fucked. Let's get behind too. It's like it's really tough to come back. Yep. They, you hear, you hear them yelling, pull, pull, you idiots, pull, well I'm almost at the edge.

And I would say that we get to go again. Glithy, what are you doing on your turn? I'm going to use my reaction to my reaction to the edge. bedlock again. Same thing, okay? Yeah, this time I, you see like a horrifying fade passage as like Glitzie's face changes, and she looks like this decrepit and malevolent, Sealy Faye. On Sealy Faye. She basically looks like Galadriel in the

Nice. You would have a queen! I was thinking, worthy, is if that my old ring? Yeah, that's great. And so she does that, so I used to more sorcerer points, and then I'm going to use my action to strike it. Um, Walrus. All I can do is pull! You're pulling now. Oh, what am I doing?

You're sweating. Realizing how in trouble you are from, not in trouble, but hampered you are, you realize your life is attached to this rope, and you're just pulling as hard as you can felt that. 15? Oh, sorry. Oh, I'm just pulling. A-v-v-Var.

Oh, banana. The second the other. I see that we are gaining ground. I bellow again to my teammates. We are winning! Continue! I'll take it. 18. Not bad.

We make it. Buy one, get one loaded toss. Okay. Quistie, what did you get? I got a 19. Damn. Walrus. 15.

15. Help it. 24. Wow. Only in 18. A little less than the last time, that's okay. Let me just do some quick math here. DK.

Don't key. Forget to subtract the D4 from person. That's actually fucking huge. Oh, yeah. Minus D4 feet is crazy. You heave and you pull and you can hear the sound almost like leather being twisted of this rope under the punishing force of it being pulled in both directions,

but it does not give. nor do your competitors. You have a strong pull, but they manage to hold their ground and no change happened to this round. Oh shit. Okay. Okay. Wow.

Well, you're just all kind of around a little over 20. So we gotta get the... That was actually gonna be bad. Yeah, we gotta, I gotta step it up here. I've had some bad rules in a row. Okay. I'm gonna do the same thing. Yeah, let me know if you're changing anything.

I am not, I don't think. But I'm gonna presume Glithee that you are are gonna continue to terrify. This will be my last one, because I can only do it up to my amount of sorcery points. And I have six sorcery points, and it takes two sorcery points per reaction. So this will be the last one.

But I will look at the first guy and I'll call out, oh, you flies down. And then, yeah, I'm gonna go. Got him. Have I witnessed any other competitors teleport out of the, away from the rope so they can then use their hands? And all of your witnessing, you do not think that you've seen anything like that happen.

And you're not sure if it's because someone endeavored to try that and fail, or that does no one have the ability to try to do that? You definitely would also have noticed Jeanne and Babbar slipping too when we tried to teleport in the last one. Well, I also trapped. Oh, was he me and you? Yeah, it was me. So I experienced that. That was you and me.

But this is different, so for now, we're doing okay. I'm just gonna roll. Let's roll new D-20 here. Let's see this big guy. Why is Skirlik's DJing our death? The base isn't the only thing that's gonna drop in this game. I miss the announcer. Why didn't they get teleported to space? You know, I might just have to teleport them to space in the next round. You know, they're just so lovely. I was thinking about an initial intro is like their send-off, but I missed them too.

No, that was, it was good. I missed them too. Instead, shadowy figures are looking down and making their own comments regarding their wagers and about the performance of the various teams, I'm sure. The clients, ship them in. The clients. They pay them readily. Same this last time except no minus four this time. Oh, no, it's a minus four this time.

This is the last one. Well, while we have that, can I get a little bit of a riff, I have an idea. It's up to you. Yeah, we, I'm doing it. We're doing well. Yeah, I would say it would be hard for us to communicate except for shouting. You can do what you want, you know.

But Nikki's right. We're winning. You could, if you want to try to communicate. Oh, you're a gorilla, aren't you? Yeah. Oh. I see. I'm just going to pull.

I'm going to pull. Okay. I think we're all sticking the exact same plan. Goetzy, what's your pull value? 20. 20. I'm going to. Walrus.

13. You're not gonna use a twist? No. My bonus is shit. 20. With a 24, that bar yells, deep team, drag them to their death. What I'm trying.

I've got it in all of this. You're a shink. You are pulling and pulling and pulling, and you're horrified in this moment to feel your feet start to get pulled in another direction as you move forward, stiltingly, attempting to pull. You're heaving and heaving, but you are not gaining ground. You are losing it as you are pulled 20 feet in the other direction.

I rolled two natural 20. 20 feet? Yes. They beat us by 20? Yes. I've been rolling really low. I've been rolling terribly. I guess if all their bonuses are like eight, if they're a professional,

your total was 77 and they got 95. Wow. Okay. Okay. Jesus. Okay. It's all right. It's all right. Oh. Man, I really wish I had some spells. Yeah, I can't do anything. Not a single feature that I have is worthwhile. Yeah, I'm definitely gonna bring me an outfit back.

Um, yeah, I think, yeah, none of this is worthwhile. Yeah, I'm gonna pull. I'm pulling. Okay. That's all I got. You're no longer benefiting from your Seeley stair, let's see, so I don't have to subtract it before this time. Anyone else doing anything different? No, I'm gonna pull. Do you say 90, what do they get? 94 you said?

95. 95 divided by 4. That means that the average 24. He did say they're all very tall, muscular people. Your first value was like 86. Okay, I gotta do this. I'm gonna take a risk. I think it's gonna be pretty good though.

I'm going to shift out of my... I'm twisting this. I'm gonna shift out of my form. And I am going to let go and I'll... I'll look around as there a crowd watching this? There are the survivors and those who have yet to compete looking up at you. since about half of them had all gone,

that probably means that there are somewhere like 150 people looking up at you? Not including the pyramid heads. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna look and I'm gonna say, come on guys, everybody, support Team Mighty Tuth, do the wave as the wres, the wreath. This is the tide of your doom as I cast Tidal Wave. Oh shit. I am letting go.

Does that have a semantic proponent? You can't let go. Oh, you can't let go. You cannot physically use it. You were physically compelled to hold on to that. Oh. Magically compelled to hold on to that. Oh.

Yeah, that's why I can't do anything. Oh. I thought that you basically just weren't added to, oh. No. No. I do not revert. I just roll. All right.

If you have a non-somatic spell, you can cast me. No, no, there are very few of those. Are you twisting? Oh, I'm gonna do another one. No, that's it. That's it. You wanna pass me? 22.

Oh, yeah, let me give you mine back. Those are the two that I use. I am 25. Damn, how are you guys so high? Walrus. 19. All right, we're coming back. We're coming right back with this one.

22. 22. That's outrageous, Babbar. And with a 26, I yell, Team, together, remember, monstrous size a lot. has no intrinsic merit as we begin to pull. I should have picked my proficiencies, wiser. Okay, you pull and you pull and you pull and you pull

and you start to make backwards progress again. Your feet hold true and you're happy that with each heave you seem to, again, yank back a foot, another foot, a foot, a foot, you're able to pull back 15 feet. Okay. So there's nothing that we can do. nothing that we can do, so we made the old rapid fire this.

There's no... If there's just a roll-off. I've got no. I thought that we could actually do... No, no, let's just spam the roll-offs. I had a shirt up my sleeve, but I'm out of rage. We're gonna update some of this because we got some stuff.

Oh, are you still getting... Oh, we got this one. Showbiz crayon, 90... Oh, dread. So that's a dread for you. And then Tuss. Huskin Fury with a twist for each of us to run off the best. Amazing. Amazing.

Thank you. Thank you. I don't need to twist this time. I'm using my tides of chaos to get advantage. Thank you. Oh, do I have a bonus action? I don't think it's worth a lot. Oh, what D20? Do I want to roll?

I'm gonna roll this tiny one. Liffie. It's tough, man. I just don't know if it's worth it. Oh yeah, I just regularly roll. So I got an 18 plus 7, 20, How is that possible? That's crazy. Plus some to acrobatics. Yeah.

Walrus? 15. It's not bad, man. Yeah, it's not bad. I'm just gonna let it roll. Uh, 18 plus 5 is what? That's a 20. 23?

Jesus. Press this advantage! Give them no quarter! And I rolled a 25. Damn. See, you guys are killing it. I got plus eight. My first couple rolls weren't great.

I'm catching it now. I'm trying to do. I'm trying to look up. 5E spells, verbal only. Command. I think it's just paladin spells. I think they're only paladin spells. Wow.

You pull and you pull and you pull, but the intimidating annihilators, they are able to hold fast and you make no progress one way of the other. Whoa. Let a rip. God, on fire! I use, I didn't get my new twist that came in. You didn't?

No. I didn't grab anything, so. Oh. I'm gonna use one. Okay. Uh-oh, that's not good for me. It's a same roll. Okay.

Letting it go. Oh, we're doing okay here. Sorry, I need to add up mine this moment. Okay. Glitzy. 13. Walrus. 21.

Philip. 18. 18 And M. Many fall in the face of chaos but not us

not today as I rolled another 25 Oh, holy shit All right Double 17s Are any buffs

Anybody has So I was looking at that But the problem is That they're saving throws They're not ability checks Like for for heroism or

blessed or whatever it is It's not ability checks It's uh Yeah everything that I have Is very combat focus I looked at bless I had I looked at

heroism I looked at divest would help no Bless is ability checks and a saving throws and attack rolls

It's not ability checks And then one of them is just temporary HP and the other one is extra damage Guidance would help I don't have that I don't see it on here Yeah, I mean Cantrums

This is all happening very very very quickly You are looking at the eyes of your competitors, they are looking back at you, not with any cowardice whatsoever, but with bravery and determination. You are pulling and pulling and pulling. And this time, instead of a standstill, you feel them start to slip just a little bit more, and you pull five feet, ten feet more. Holy shit. And you can turn your spell slots into sorcery points if you want. Oh, it's a bonus action. This is over. We're gonna, they're screwed now.

They're screwed now. They're toasting. All of a sudden, one of them slip, and they're hanging over the drop, realizing that they have no way to contribute to the next tug, let's call it. So I'll only be rolling three D-20s. We'll see what happens.

But things are starting to look very good for you. Oh yeah, they're fucked. Do we call out Sloth tip? I will. We did not yet. I will. Thank you, Sloths. Probably the last round.

Let's find out. Glissie, what do you got? I'm in use with bonus action to convert one third level spell slot to five sorcery points. Damn. That's how you keep using sorcery points. And then I am going to use my reaction

to make them roll at a D5 to take off. Two of those five. Let's go. I'm not gonna roll. So you're using your bonus action to subtract 1.24. It usually is, yeah. No, that's a reaction to do that.

I'm using bonus action to convert a third level spell slot into sorcery points, so I can use my reaction to take away 1D4 from one of their roles. Ultimately, I am subtracting a 1d4 for a roll. That's not bad. And then I'm just rolling. That's not bad. Not terribly.

I have reduced their total. You are welcome. But you are so pulling. What did you get? I'm 14. 14. Walrus. So I'm gonna grab the rope and I'll see. Okay, I'm gonna pump myself up.

Hey guys, do you know that to find mollusks? Walrus' dive in shallow waters? Search the bottom with their highly sensitive whiskers or vibraside. And when they locate the molest, they create a seal with their lips and use their tongue to produce a vacuum to suck the meat out of the shell? Thank you, small. 50s my horse. And leaves in Walrus Bell.

So if that pumps me up in any way and gives me advantage or anything, you know, it's fine. It doesn't, but we all appreciate it. In fact, I think you actually have disadvantaged. No, I don't know. Everyone is disturbed by your words, so I need to go to love it.

I got a 15. 15? Yeah. 20. 20. The match is struck. A blazing star is born. Let us finish this.

I got a dirty 20. Dirty 20. Pretty good. That's okay. We just need, we need 10 feet. 10 feet, that's a lot. Minus five though, or from D-1D4. Well, they're gonna have all sorts of minuses. This guy's not doing jack shit,

they're gonna start falling, they're fucked, they're fucked, it's over. We got this. There's like a chain reaction. We live to fight another day. It's a death spiral because they lose a D20, they lose that person's proficiency bonus and acrobatic score, and they also now have to

bear the weight of their hanging companion, which is adding an additional, or subtracting an additional 10 from their score. In addition to the D4, which I rolled a 4 on, of your quality. Amazing. Unbelievable, despite all of that, they got surprisingly high,

but not high enough to prevent 20 feet from immediately slipping away from them. You pull and pull and pull, and suddenly you fall backwards and realize that the rope evaporates into your hand in a magic dust, and these intimidating annihilators scream all the way down. down, splat! They hit the ground and disgusting crunch

smashes into the same space that all of these other competitors hit before their belts illuminate and energy whips out of each one of the bodies, now a deceased corpse, whips out and you can see it fly over the wall presumably into the chest that is the spoils for the victor. Oh, here come the Oosies! I'll get up as we've won if we've let go of the rope. I'll stand up and I'll go, nah-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-

Tusks win! Tusks win! Well done, team. Sweating, breathing heavily. You all take a moment to feel the fresh, cool air on your face. What was initially a chilling wind that almost felt like a herald of your own death is now a refreshing breeze

that is blowing the sweat off of your face and off of your arms. You have lived to see another game and you disappear through the magic circle finding himself at the bottom of the portal. Another team seems to be approaching another team on the other side. Bodies are being cleared away

and you see the rope stretch and suspend and air ready for the next team for you or not the last. We have defeated death this day. Well done. I'll shift out. Man, I hope that John Claude becomes fried chicken.

I mean, I hope he does okay. I hope he survived and we see him again. John Claude, let's go root for John Claude. Can we stay and watch the rest? There are some who made their way back through the portal doors, and let me just find some music here. That's not boring. I'll say, I'll say, kick on that

ye old tavern music. I don't have any old tavern music. Let's try this. No. It's very earthboundy. It sounds like foresight. It's weird. That's bad.

It really does. It's definitely like earthbound funk. Hold on. Super Soul Bros. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got nothing. I got nothing. I don't know what to tell you.

Everything is either royaltyed or icebox. Oh, oh, how about this? Search Sim Casino Queen of Hearts. Oh, yeah. Can I use that? Yeah, I think so. I think it's fair game.

We love Sim Casino. I hope it's okay. It's also kind of jazzy, though. No, no, it's just Spotify. Oh, never mind. We're going to jerk our. I don't give a shit. I'll make a boil list for next time, I swear.

Even Dracar is going to be the wrong mood. All right. Well, that's on me. You look around and you do find John Claude and the Three Pixies are starting to talk strategy and sort of pump themselves up and realizing that this is but a roll-off, as you said earlier. It is purely a game of strength. Very little strategy involved with your hands locked in the way that they have to be

to the rope. What do you say as you arrive at John Claude's team? Oh wow, I sort of hope they have a playlist conveniently of white bad audio that's pretty exciting. And I just remembered. Oh, John Claude, don't father your death. That would be really awesome. But I mean, it's a terrible tragedy. Are they, have they gone up yet or are they still down, like, where we can talk to them? They seem to have not been called up yet.

There are two other teams that are going to the platform. and every few minutes you hear, ah! I walk up to Jean-Claude. I put my arm on his shoulder. I'm towering over him, and I say, well, hopefully you try harder at this

than you did to defend me in court. Good luck, and I give him this awful grimace smile. It's very threatening. He looks concerned after you give him this grim message, and he sort of picks in on himself, and then his pixie friends, his new pixie friends sort of come around and are starting to endeavor to cheer him up.

I should beat him. And you watch team after team pair after pair after pair, another 10 teams, another 20 teams, another 30 teams. They all pair up against each other until finally, it seems that there are only two teams remaining. And one of them is, what did we decide, John Claude? team name was. I don't remember. I'll say after that,

I feel like I've raising baines. His team name is called and you see them all. It was the Pixie and Drumstick? Something like that? Yeah, yeah. Pixie and the drumsticks for me. Pixie and the drumsticks is perfect. Pixie and the drumstick goes up on one platform

and you see that because there was an odd number of people, the team that they'll be competing against is just one guy. Oh! What? He goes up onto the platform. This is a brief period.

Absolutely horseshit. No, no, no! Ha! You should have made some friends. And they kill him with a new seat. And then you will find yourselves back, finding your way back into the dormitory. Oh, he might still be alive! He isn't shit himself! Ah!

We said when people die, they void their bodies. They're holding their bowels. The doors closed, but just before they do, through the opening, you hear this disgusting and loud, Bhr-H-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Got him. Are those witches? Oh, why?

And you make your way into the door, but... We have a good time. Uh-uh. Shadowy faces watch all of this. They hear all of it, and they continue to make their way of this. make their way here. One shadowy voice looks down. The second trial is completed. Go tusks. Where did I get my wearable

tusks to show my support? Okay, I know I said I love them all, but if it's only Phelphip that survives, I will be disappointed. Oh, thank you. I enjoy Glitzy. I think she deserves this. She's a well-behaved girl. She's the only one who deserves it. The others will fall. What? I'm not that, man. Babar has not disappointed.

It pleases me to see him progress beyond this stage. I bet on Babar, he is full of fire destined to burn bright and fast. I'm going to be so sad when the walrus dies. To a bit of a while. in the game, you have to have teeth in the game.

And with tusks like the walrus, you know you have to bet big on that happy chap. Yeah, all right. If Jean-Pont dies, then we eat him since he's a chicken, or is that too messed up? Please, an announcer voice, finally echoes. Please help yourselves to food and refreshment.

The third trial is expected to begin momentarily. Oh. Well, maybe it's a good thing I didn't use any of my resources. Yeah, I'm glad I only use one wild shape. These are short rests, though? You do enjoy a short rest and a modest lunch, let's say. Sorcerors can't prepare spells, can they? Oh, man.

Is that where you are? I'm a sorcerer. Yeah, wow. We have two sorcerers? Damn. Damn. Yeah. Oh, lukewarmate Thallin.

I'm going to use a bonus out of shit to. Sure, they do. You like stack a plate and then you take the entire dish. It smell like Brimstone in here. What was that? I'm gonna use a bonus action to expend a spell slot for sorcery points. People always say it's the mayo that goes bad, but really if the onions are going to hurt. Yeah, it's a little cold, I'm gonna go to the microwe.

Chim, bichin, bich. I love my crudic though. I'm not Beed-ee-ee-ee-ee-dye I'm not enough He's like boiling It's popping Bill Pip is the guy at work

Who brings fish And my rice fish In the brain In the brain room And then the God damn it Ferry all they're Okay now

Some sardine Some anchovies I put it back in. Okay, me good, good, good. Bob is going to have these Continental Breakfast mini brandmonds. It could be a little more regular. You enjoy the foods of your choices, and you are watching as the chest every once in a while,

this energy or spirit just swims around and sort of funnels down and the chest will open before clamping down on that. magical energy and the globe of light that surrounds it, this golden orb will sheen for a moment. For a moment you think about what it is you're competing for. What could it mean to possibly become more than mortal, more than even a demigod or some other powerful entity, but to have the power of a god or goddess in this moment. This strange sensation creeps over you and you start to feel the ambition running through your very very very, as much as the blood that runs through it, presumably.

I have a thought for Avengers and Chill, and I'm writing it down now. I'm just letting everyone know. Mmm, yummy. I get the squint mob, what is it, the garlic, whatever thing he makes, when you think is ugly. Do you do anything else with your short rest? I had no resources have spent, so I'm good.

Oh, God. I think about my life, I think about the skulls that I'm going to crush, the bodies that I'm going to break. There's a small gymnasium. so you like go over and quickly like I stay limber yeah yeah this is all just an origin story for corn the the blood gun or hammer this was it was an elephant man in life this rush with death has made me feel more alive than I felt in the last four years yeah I'm sure that's true even even though you've had fights and stuff in in jail I'm sure that they you racked up plenty of shankings in your time

nothing is nothing would have been quite the same because not only is the excitement of putting your life on the line in this way so thrilling, the adrenaline of the games so stark, but knowing that each success, each little victory, each major one, is a step closer to your ultimate goal. You're all corralled together, and you see that there are probably, after the, for 300 or so,

it's been cut in half. Half of the teams perish, and half of them survived. There are now 150 remaining creatures all walking back through the gates. These gates, when they open, they always open to a new space. And this is the same circumstance. Instead, you find yourself walking into a long hallway, long hallway with this beautiful sort of arched dome ceiling that goes pretty far. Not too deep, but far enough into the space that there are these large door. on either side, five doors facing each other, all told, ten doors.

And you are stopped as you will walk in, each one of you individually, and you are handed a small stone. And you, looking at it seems to be sort of a flat stone, nothing apparent on either side, just this sort of, it's almost like a clam-shelled, like self-felled, like self-fell Like a Motorola razor? Yeah. A pebble.

Oh. Yeah. A Motorola pebble. That was a thing, right? What was that? I think it was a pebble, too. The razor was a little flatter, but the pebble was rounded. You suspect that.

Fellow boomers, am I right? Did it look like a dangerous sign kick? Guys, I can't believe I had a pizza station. I got a couple slices of scallop and kiwi pizza. You hold the dangerous sidekick. It doesn't seem to have the slightest screen or the key. work, but it does definitely feel like... All of a sudden, I tease my hair really big, and there's a large bow.

I've got way too much eyeliner on, and I'm dating the lead singer of Panic at the disco. Okay, okay, that happens. Lucky. But this is clearly a minor magic item of some kind, but it's not doing whatever it's supposed to be doing. Instead, you are just directed to fill the hallway, and you... All you do. I mean, there is no other option, so you... fill it and eventually a voice booms out.

In a moment, your danger sidekakes will illuminate to show you a number of the room you are meant to go in. Ten of you will go in. Thank you. That's great. The pebble will be done. We murdered all the pebble. That's what I am. Yeah, that's what you have. Everyone else has a danger. Incredible. Danger Hip Top is a kind of? Yeah, yeah.

Well, the Danger Hip Top was the company. They created the sidekick, the sidekick 2. The Mova Flip and the Sharp Jump. Eventually, Motorola created the Sidekick 4. Oh, sweet, this one has snake on it. Oh, I got Jouse! I started playing a snake. Joust is fucking awesome.

Fucking amazing. I love Joust. I play that obsessively on my phone, mine before, you know, for smartphones. When the... I don't have a name for you. Blu it out of my gun. When the Danger Sidekick illuminates.

You will be shown a number. Go to that door and wait for further instructions. And you feel this almost thrum, and just turning your hand, you all look. And you each have the number eight on your sidekicks. John Cod looks down, I got the number one. Oh, sucks to suck. Hope you get another bye week. I'm just kidding.

three days ago. He looks a little grumpy, he takes his fried chicken, and he walks over to you in front of that door, and you find yourself making your way to the eighth door and sort of staring up. And it seems that you and six others have joined in, I'm sorry, six? Yep. It's a ten total, right? Yeah, I did say ten, but that's not the correct number of people. One moment. As we pass wherever Jean-Claude is, I look at him meeting his

bucket of fried chicken and I say, There are 10 rooms. You will one day pay for your sins. There are 11 other creatures because there are 15 creatures in each room. Okay. I say, I say after that poor boy who was tugging on the rope alone and what happened to him, I for sure thought I'd get room number two.

John Claude must die. Buzz vow. Mesa's going to come back and he's going to be like, you guys just killed him? Like, it wasn't part of the game? Like, he didn't. No, he didn't. He just killed him. The door opens and you find yourself looking into a room that is glowing red in all directions.

Light doesn't seem to be emanating from anything in particular, but it is glowing and it's possible to see in the space all the same. Looking behind you and very quickly through the others as they shuffle into their rooms, you can see that their rooms are similarly colored. Not different colors, but red in the same way. And they look like duplicates. the 15 of you all make your way into the room and a voice starts to boom out as the door closes behind you. When John Cloud, can I get your card? He says he turns out of what and the door crushes now.

It's splitting them in half. You see one arm to limp and a bucket roll of chicken rolls away. Yes! This arena will test your fighting abilities. Only four of you will escape, is what the voice says. And then you need to roll for initiative, because... Oh, that's what I did! We'll take to throw hands immediately.

I say, I say, misconduct ain't a crime from a certain point of view. Oh, baby. Just your own both. fucking arena combat. I never, I don't have any initiative. It's awful, but I rolled decently. Gun, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong.

Oh, my favorite Cowboys from Hell is playing. God, that was so hard in the Tia Hero. You know, I actually prefer rock band to guitar hero. What? Really? Yeah. Because of the drums? It's because of the drums.

No, because I'm a horrible peep of the shit. Oh, good. That's funny. Fuck all. That's very funny. We had a bunch of emo and alt rock to appeal the millennials. Yeah, we can have an instrumental of kill a queen or something. No, it was the Prince song that I didn't want?

Oh, I forget. No, Jimmy Hendrick. They just cut out the vocal because they couldn't get the rights to the vocal. Oh, really? Oh, really? Yeah. The rights to the tune is different. Yeah, what the fuck.

So that was in Guitar Hero? Yeah, the first. It was like an instrumental of Spanish Castle Magic, I think. I remember that. Man, that's crazy. Yeah, a little bit of guitar hero of deep war. We were really in a guitar hero, kid. I liked guitar.

I played a lot of guitar hero, too, but I don't think I would have known enough about songs to do that. Yeah, we want a forums and shit. That's amazing. It was like a hole. Yeah, that's awesome. Okay.

22.30. I got a 22 with my plus, 21 with my plus two initiative. I rolled a 19. I got to 20. You got the 20, 15 to 20. 19. 19 for Felpack.

19 for Felpit. And that's going to be... Two. Walrus? Five? Yeah. You're going to be... You tied with them.

That was correct. Okay. This is going to be the action music for... Every game. I don't get a shit. That's great. Put yourself in the... Reno or you refine yourself.

The room is largely featureless. It is a, it's a, let's see where would you like to be. Final destination, no items. Yeah, open to corner. Everyone is staring around in sort of shock and horror as they hear the voice echoing in the space. Only four will leave this room.

It's a fight to the death. And with that, you hear another one of these whistles and you realize you can almost feel the bloodlusts release, everyone's adrenaline glands dumps into their bodies and all of a sudden they realize this is a fight, a fight to the end, the bitter end. Top of the round, we're going to go with the gentleman in the corner closest to Rich over here

is going to stay where they are. Oh, actual Rich, no, okay, Jesus. And they are going to look around and realize this is a serious business. You see him make a few gestures, murmur a few words, and all of a sudden this light hits him. If you want to know what he cast, you can make a quick artana roll,

but that's what he does with his turn. Oh, no. 22. You realize he's cast sanctuary on himself. What a loser. Babbar. I am back-to-back with Fel-Pip, and we are forming an unlikely friendship

over the course of this strange competition competition we find ourselves in. As I hoist my giant mall in the air, I look over the back of my shoulder, but he's very small behind me, and I say, Fel-Pip, brother, if we do not survive, I will see you in the nine house. As I charge into battle away from my friend,

Fel-Pip, and I run to this guy, and I just try to absolutely cave in his skull. Okay. Let me real quick, just check my features and trades here, because I want to make sure I don't wait anything here. There's a bonus action. Yeah, I can only do that once.

Okay. I'm just gonna make an attack. That's gonna be a twist of fate. I'm gonna twist that because I roll pretty low. Much better. That's gonna be a 18 to hit. That hits? Awesome.

You rush up to this half elf who has a short sword and a shield. They are endeavoring to block your hit, but you're able to push it aside almost effortlessly and stab in. As I bring them all up and around, it begins to almost glow with this horrific darkness as I smite this poor bastard.

Okay. Wow, that's bizarre. All three's on all four of my dice. That's 12 plus five is 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage. Boom! As I try to basically bring the mall down into his side and just absolutely shatter his rib cage,

with some sort of horrific, demonic vengeance magic radiating from the mall. His buckler nearly cracks into pieces, and he's shoved into the ribs. He lets out a scream of pain, but he is still standing. Fuck that guy. That's my turn. Are that your turn?

Yeah, let me just make sure I don't know how any bonus actions. I don't think I do. I guess I could have divine favored and added a D4, but that's okay. Nope, that's my turn. Thank you. Okay. Glissy.

Blitsey's hair, she's now seen Queen Glitzy, and her hair is teased to the gods. She reaches in and pulls out a bomb that's already on fire and begins to cackle maniacally as she hurls it into the air and she goes, boom! And she's going to cast fireball on as many people as possible. How do you want to do that? Probably here.

That's the range. The range is huge. Yeah, plenty of range. It's a 20-foot radius sphere. I think it's down, Derek. Oh, is it here? It's, yeah, in there. In the cabinets.

Oh, you guys look for it. I think this right here is probably going to be where you're going on. If I were to do the math here, right, let's see you do it here. It's a 20 foot radius. Sorry, buddy. You do it.

Here. You do like here. Nice. We did find it. You can, yeah, I spent this. I throw it in here. And I am worried about I want to get as many people as possible

if I have to hit my allies, the Soviet. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that's the way to do it. Yeah, right here. Right there. It's all hitting me. It's all right. Yeah, it'll be fine.

Ah! Deck save for... Wow, thank God I moved. I thought about charging into the most enemies I could, and I picked the good direction. What's your DC? 16. 16. I need someone to count my fails and successes.

Oh. Oh. Can I have the markers? Derek, you keep taking them back there. Oh, okay. Got it. Okay. One fail. One success. Another success. Another fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. That should be all. That's all done.

And then... And then... And then... Oh, fuck! Okay. Oh, boy. Yikes. I'm gonna use a twist. I'll use a twist.

Just with the divide, that's fine. That's gonna be like, hold on, like a 20. It's much about profit passes! I'm gonna take half of the damage. That's just fine. Now, okay, the bonus action, I do that. Can I get three B six from something? Oh, do one?

And I am using my meta magic to empower this that I'm reruling. Oh, fuck! 36 points of damage to anyone who's Failed and a half to anyone who passed. That's all good. Okay. Where was the bar?

He was right next to the guy here. This space ignites into flames and you can see that all of these, there were a few who are still hanging onto life, but for the most part they take the brunt of this explosion. As much as the fire flings them in all directions and surrounds them. When the smoke clears, everyone is still standing. But you've done a significant amount of damage. Fel-Pip, you're up.

Oh, you know what? I'm stupid. I have two attacks. Oh, well. I've heard of level six. Hey. Next time. Yeah, I'm still thinking we're like level three. Not bad. You've just been hit by this explosion, but your mind is clear. Fel-Pipp.

How much damage was it? Sorry. 36, half is 18, if you passed. Ah! As I'm gonna say, oh, the hell is fire. It feels so wonderful. I mean, oh, it hurts, it hurts. As I'm going to assume this hellish blight cover deep bark, rotting bark all covers me. As I say, you're gonna die right here.

And I'm gonna run, I'm gonna run here. And I am going to, my horns will glow with a horrible fiendish blight. blighted biz and I'm going to use primal savagery and I'm gonna make a melee spell attack Uh-oh That's all you've got in there I've been one man Uh, I mean that's what you primal people are supposed to actually

I'm not gonna do that I am going to Go here And I am going to So I have 20 I'm going to do I'm going to reach out and say, give me your life wrenches.

As my eyes will glow black, I'm going to catch wither in bloom. Damn. It's a 10-foot sphere so I can get all people here. I'm going to, constantly even through from all of them. How many? Three. Two fail and one at 15? Ten points of necrotic

damage. If they fail, five if they succeed. And then I'm going to sap their life essence. and I'm gonna heal for one in the sense. Oh no. I'm gonna do an unspent hit die. You do that. And you can see them withering.

They are not pleased. Do we die? That was the first one. These two in the corner are going to be represented by this core card. One of them turns and seeing that Glissy was the one to throw this outrageous bomb is going to going to reach forward in a beam of crackling energy

streams forward. Oh, by the way, you have wild magic, sir. So whenever it has a spell, you can determine whether a wild bad. Oh, sorry, 15 damage if I had cast it at the third level. 15 and 7? 15 and 7, yeah. Do you have to roll a D20 or something?

How does that work? It says, once for turn, the DM can have your roll a D20 immediately after you have a source of spell the first level or higher. If you roll a one, rolling the wild matter shape, it's creating a magical effect. So just roll a D20 if you want it for once in a . Do you want me to just do it after every spell?

For every spell. Yeah, that's how it should be. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And Nagell's funny. Let's do it. Yeah. Chuckles way?

Yeah. Oh, if you're the Chuckles way, and then roll D12. Next time it's going to be a D10, the next time it's going to be a D-8, the next day, it'll get more and more likely that you'll roll that one. Oh, gosh. So roll the D12 then, then that's with funny. We can start with 20.

We can start 20, and then we'll start 20, Okay, what is your AC, Glitzy? 17. You suddenly get hit with this beam of crackling energy taking 10 points of force damage as the creature nearest you immediately launches one of these beams of crackling energy. The other one turns to the person who's standing

in the corner closest to Rich, and you can see him struggle for a moment to unleash some sort of attack, but failing his wisdom save turns and unleashes an attack against Fell Pip. Oh no. Natural 20. Whoa. And that's going to be seven points of piercing damage.

And you need to make a dexterity saving throw. I fail. You take an additional 12. 12. 10 points of cold damages. This ice knife hits you, stabs in, piercing you and then explodes into a shatter of frost and flakes in all directions.

I'm gonna for my 10 HP. The next one is going to run up to Barbar here. Nope, the one on the other side. Yep, he's gonna run up to you. He's going to swing down with a massive axe and he's gonna get a 15 to hit. Miss. Miss.

So that's his turn and the other one that is over here in this corner. He is going to, do-to-do, do. Should we number them or? Three means of magic missile. One's going to, what's that? Should we number them? We probably should number them as things get more and more hokey.

I'm keeping a general track of them on this side. The other one that's close to the bar, the half elf, is the one that I'd like to have go on this card here. Okay. No, no, no. This one? There's one here. Yeah, yeah, that one.

He is going to, You hear a bunch of elven words come out of his mouth, and even though you don't understand the language, probably. I don't know your language. No, what are you saying? But you feel the sinister hate that is laced within these words. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Yeah, sucks a suck. I don't like you at that. Is it to be charmed against charmed or frightened? Nope.

Okay. Come on. Ha! I'm gonna twist. Better. 17. 17. But you would have taken psychic damage, but you don't understand the words and you shrug it off before the psychic takes into your ears. The one that's here on, yeah, well, let's do those too. They're just going to run up and attack Felpit. Oh no! Actually, one's going to attack Felip and the other one's going to attack the other one who's hanging off here to the side.

Yeah, that's fine. That one gets hit. He's going to take some damage. And the other one is going to attack Phelphip. He's going to get a 19 to hit. Oh, fuck! You take seven points of bludgeoning damage. He comes flaming down with a big hit. This is karma, man.

This isn't good. Two more. Is this a snake? It wasn't me. Crackling beams are flying in all directions now. One nearly missing you, the walrus. and 17 to hit, Fibbar? No, 18.

Wow, then you're fine. I kick up the chest. Hits your plate arm where it bounces off into the feeling and a bunch of silk comes flying down. Glancing below. The walrus, you're up. Oh, remind me, Derek, do your campaigns allow two spells per turn? Or do you do the one?

Oh, like a spell and then a cantrip or spell spell? Yes, like I know rules is written, you can only cast one spell slot spell per turn, But I think Nikki does it as the whatever, and I can't remember what you're- In ice batter, I wouldn't allow it, but this is funsy, fuzzie time. So I don't play against in my campaigns. Let's fucking go.

All right. I'll reach into my, I'll reach into my little, into my coat, and I pull out a little snow glow that doesn't have a base. It's just perfectly circular. And there's a little walrus in it, and I shake it up. And it starts snowy, and I say,

and I roll it. Here. Oh, God. Yes. Let's see. It rolls from the center here. Goodbye, Felfin. And it stops.

And it's, poof. And I'm casting fireball, but I'm using, instead I'm going to make it a walrus ball by changing its type to cold. Oh, yes. It's one, it's one smell slot. Blue ball, blue ball perhaps? Blue ball. Blue ball.

Blue ball. Loress ball. Oh, no. Oh, I finally feel you. Oh. Anti-team! Ah! First you were very hot, now you're very cold.

Veltip. God damn, Fulf of control. So that is... How much, how many... what's it is? It is 8 D6, excuse me. 8 D6, so let me get some D6. So it's one, two, three, four. I think two, three...

Yeah, one, two, three, four, one, two, I got them, I got, I'm like that. One, two, uh, three, four. Okay, this counts as a two. This counts as a two. So that's 5, 7, 9. 13, 14, 15, 15, 16, age 90, 20, 21. So 22, 24. And then I can add my charisma modifier 29.

When do you get to add your charisma modifier? Because I am a walrus bloodline sorcerer, and my chosen type is... That's fucking awesome. Awesome. The marvelous bloodline, I see. Okay, white dragon. It's fucking awesome.

It's pretty cool. One of the most fun I ever had was playing Croft. Ironically, he had. Black dragon lineage is so cool. They're very, very, very strong. And if any of them are resistant to cold, it is ignored. Whoa. That bloodlining figure is ignored.

No, I took a feel. I took a cold elemental adept. Okay. Oh, I see. The immunity is ignored. The resistance is ignored. The resistance is ignored. The resistance.

I don't think so. I don't think this is anything about a meeting. No. You need to keep track of my successes and failures again. Sure. I'm gonna roll for each of them. I can't. There's one, two, three, four, five, there's still seven. Yeah. Okay, I got you.

As well. What is your DC? That's right. What is my DC? We're making quick work of this. What was a glitzy? 16 as well. 16 as well.

Okay. Fail. Yep. Succeed. Oh, what's good. Fail. Fail. It's a 30 something.

Fail. 29 and 32. Succeed. Succeed. Okay. Okay, so that's three successes and four failures. What was the total damage? Was it 29?

29. 14 points of damage if you pass. It was 29 points of damage. Yeah, 14 if you pass. Oh, fuck. What's half of that? 14 is half. Oh my god.

Are you dead? Get the fuck out of there! You gotta be close. He's about kidding. You've taken so much damage. Thank God for fucking us, for a sports druids where I get as a 20-point fucking shield.

Oh, shit. And my wild shapes. Holy fuck. I'd be fucked if I wasn't as a sport as a boy. This is a criminal? Oh, God, that's fine. Sorry, I just have to do the math for all of these guys because I'm not doing it.

I'm not rolling as a group, since it matters. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Okay. That is a tremendous amount of damage. These people were just patting out their fire

that Glitzy had applied to them when all of a sudden they get blasted with this unbelievably freezing explosion. The Walrus bomb does good work. Do you do anything else with your turn? Are they all still standing? Yeah. Oh, my.

There's a trek. God. Yeah, this is a track. It didn't work. Well, let's try it again. I will quicken. I'm never fire. Oh, my, Felip.

Selip's like, oh, this is such a tragedy. How could it happen to me? What it's terrible. I don't know, I'm not sure I'm going to Walrus Ball. This is it awful. This is actually awful. I mean, it's a terrible tragedy. I can't wait.

I can't wait until you're going to die. And this is why you asked about the double smoke. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to ban this, that's totally fine. No, you do it. Okay. You just are one chance in a vance history to do this.

Why wouldn't you want double fire? Oh, my God, dude. They're all ones. They're all one. They'll count as two. Can you re-roll them in? If you use empowered spell, I don't have them pick that.

No, there are two well response. What did they all count as two? Elemental adept. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess it's better than, I rolled like five I rolled like five ones, no joke. And then the rest, then two, three.

Wow. It's not very good, but who will say we? Two, four, six. I'm so grateful, Doc one. You help me survive the Walrus Ball. Yeah, you may be wondering how I got here. Yeah, that's me. You may be wondering how I got here.

Record scratch, freeze frame. Freeze your scratch, freeze frame. Five. Yeah, that's me. This was a two. I had, I rolled one, two, three, four, five, six of these dice are teams. Yeah, that's brutal.

12, 30, 14, 16, 18, 19, 24 points of cold damage. Okay. 24. Okay, can you give me the success? Oh, okay, I got you. Okay. So you only take 12 points of damage.

Failed. Failed. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Wow.

Fail. Wow. Fail. They all fail. Holy shit. 24? Only four points of cold damage. Yeah.

The horn king watch over me. The beast that stalks the woods, six all his horns, his kingdom all. He whispered with the voice of the old ones and promised me a life delicious, the taste of butter in a pretty dress if I got first here. That's all I want. The tape the butter in a pretty dress.

These two finally succumbed to their energy. Oh, wow. Okay. They are all beefy boys, but too, they could not withstand the blast. Damn. Many of them are still hanging on. Wow. To life. My kingdom for spirit goodies.

Wait, so there's no trip. We just had like 250 hit points. I gave them. And I have, I have 40. What the fuck? I'm sorry. I gave them all the high. Hit points because I, I, I, I, we didn't even.

Well, we're like epic heroes. They're like, they're like little shitters. Are you down? You're unconscious. We'll get you. Look at you. Who says fucking you? I thought they were this. This is every man or woman for themselves.

I guess that's true. Fuck you, the walrus. Oh, I get it. The meaning of you all the time. Ah! Yeah. All right. The unleash, the pain you just unleashed angered these other two very much.

First of all, one of them has their reaction. would have used, you need to make a dexterity saving throw. Really? Yep. Oh, fuck! Oh, I couldn't do that anyway. Wait, hold on. Wow, the first to go down was Fel-Pipp. 6.2K go to Fairy Boy and six others. Wow.

I fail, almost certainly eight. Eight points of fire damage to you as you are hit with a hellish rebuke. Additionally, you need to make a... You need to make a wisdom saving throw is another one points and says a few arcane words. Oh, that's pretty good. It saves? 16? 16 succeeds, so you don't take any of that.

The can't trick that it is. However, the next you're going to have to make an intelligent saving throw. The other one tries to dive into your mind. 12. fails. You take 1d6 psychic damage, you take six psychic damage, and you'll need to subtract 1d4 from the next saving throw that you make before the end of the next turn. Okay. We're back at the top. The sanctuary lad is looking at everything that's happening and realizing that things are turning sour very fast. However, before they can act, the light in the ring shifts.

Oh, fuck. Here's the trick. And a blast of white light comes... shining down from the center, to the center, I should say. I don't like that. You're taking a necessary show. You're going to get Fortnite storms here, Ham. This light sheds down, and you realize that the red air around you is starting to prickle. So it's starting to sizzle, starting to sear, and you look down and you can even see the blood, almost like sweat, start to bead on the surface of your skin.

and it seems that staying outside of this light could be quite dangerous. Oh, outside of it. It's Fortnite rules. So, felt it's good. What you got to do? This is white. This is red.

Yes. I had it fluff. This is the mist. I thought it was going to expand and we were going to be pushed to the edges. Anyway. B'bhug. Jug.

This creature is going to attack the one over here with an Eldridge blast and miss. They have to. That's the conclusion of Pithson. Babbar. You are up and you see all of a sudden that you are hit with this bright light, this radiant light. Looking around, you can see that other people are starting to almost hiss and sizzle. I see the elf that I'm still engaged with in combat outside of the light,

and I make another mall attack at this creature after he tried to whisper some horrific Eldridge... That's him to get 12 to hit, I don't think so. I'm going to catch it a twist because I like dealing damage. Yeah, 17 plus 8 is 25 to hit the elf. That hits. Oh, fuck! Double ones. Do I have great weapon master? Is that, uh, let me re-roll that?

I can. I can re-roll a one or two on damage dice with melee weapons wielded with two hands, so I'm good to rerow both those, right? Yeah, yeah. If you have that fighting style. I do. Great weapon fighting. There you go, from one to 12s. Woo!

So that's gonna be a total of... Let's go! 17 points of bludgeoning damage to this elf. Oh, another 17? Okay. You hit him from the other side. You imagine that both sets of his ribs are broken, but he's still standing. Then I make my second attack on him. And I'm not going to cash in on any more twist, so I miss.

Okay. Let's see. I reach into the other side of my hair and pull out another ticking bomb, and I'm going to throw it in the exact same place. It has the same five now. Yeah, they're all in there. Yeah, they're all in there. And then also, is it Dex?

You automatically fail, right? So you take at least one death saving for us. It's just one. Oh, fell, Pam. With no one here to save you. Jesus. Why do they have 150 headpoints? They have 150 hit points.

Yes, they do. No, we've done at least a hundred hundred hundred hundred years. I have been keeping fucking track. This is the fourth fireball. Yeah, I have a track of every single one of these fucking panic. It's fine. It's five. It was like 30, 19, 29.

I almost did 40. Pretty close. The one that died took 36, then 10, then. Some of them took half. Some of the past. What was 10? It was a fireball. Oh, my ability.

It was 10, 10, 10, 5. It was his ability. Oh, you're, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. Oh, and then that was, no, no, it was 15. So then that got them up to 51. Then they got up to 80 with 29, and then they got push

over 100 and their hit points were 100 and they fucking die. Everyone else is either saved or better. I'm on it. I'm on it. They all have 100 that they're fucking veterans. Did they save or fail, Derek? Let's find out. He's tracking them. I'm trying to. Five. Five more. Five rolls.

Fail. Mickey's tracking. Natural 20. Succeed. Fail. Succeed. That's it. All right.

Roll, Feltip. What did you get? Is it my chair? No, you have to roll for the. You can't even roll a death statement throw. No, I don't know how much fan. So you don't roll a seat in, and you just get a failed.

Yeah, so I just took the fail. I need three, three D-sixes. Oh. Can I steal three D6s? There you, there you go. Brutal. Darkly! Holy King!

And then I'm also going to use my sorcery points. I'm really horrible. Terrible tragedy. To empower this one. Empower this one. But a theory that I mean, for real time, it's really terrible. Actually, it depends on how much damage this does. It may just kill me straight out.

How much damage you have to deal? Way more than that. I'll see. It's got to be, what, twice your total, or I guess? It doesn't mean double your hit points. Double your max hit points. No. Just your same, your max symptom?

It will, I guess technically, it just has to do a max. It's a deal max. Because you're a zero. Oh, it's terrible. Another one right there. You're taking another death thing? They all have to be done. Okay, they all have to be done.

There's no way. 17. 18. No, 17. Oh, 17. Oh, that's pretty big job. Oh, man. To die.

I can't wait. Oh, they can. I can't wait to listen to the music and head. Everyone else. What? They have fine. They have to go on me. Oh, my God.

Oh, and then I'm going to use my movement to get into the circle. Okay. Love that. I don't know I can fly, but it's... Uh, Phelpip, you're up. You got to roll. I hope I roll that.

That's all right. Black Thor is trained in... You're like coughing up for one. A death of life and fire. His boots, one of his boots is on fire. Oh, God. I'm saying this, I'm gonna use my ratchet to give him bad luck and you... Oh, okay.

guy, uh, you take, that's two dead saving, uh, failed saves. No, you gotta cuba, rob me. He's gonna get in right here, he's gonna get in right here, he's gonna get in, and he's gonna get in. Um, everyone's clustered into this space, and they start beating on each other. Um, yeah, they, uh, they hit, they missed, you can hear the clashes of the swords as they are engaged in their own miniature battle. The ones that are closest to you, however, the one, Danger Shark, that's Glyssie, right?

Yep. I need you to make a Constitution saving throw. And that's true for the creature behind it, and could, with a 15-feet cube originating from that creature, could it also hit Bavar? Is Bavar within range? From which one? This guy, or this guy? That guy. 15? I guess.

It depends on how it has to originate from him. I guess if it's from here, it could hit all of us. I don't know how it has to originate. I'm guessing Thunderwave. Rich, it's a cone 15 feet. Probably. No, I mean, if you can just angle it, yeah. No, it can't hit something.

It'll hit him off 15 feet. One and a half, three. That's 15. No. No. Okay, so it's in a second. It's here. He's the line.

Yeah. That one's going to make a saving throw. He succeeds. He's going to take half of, it will hit this guy, though. Boop. Let's see, what did you get? I got a 20.

Okay, you're able to succeed. You take three points of thunder damage, and you are not pushed back by the thunder wave, this massive explosion. And the else near you, sir. Do to do, where is it? Yep, yep, yep. I brought up all these spells,

and now they aren't where I want them to be when I am tempted. Reaches up, and he makes a, melee spell attack against you with a 19 to hit. That hits. Okay, that means that you're going to take, as he reaches up, you feel this necrotic charge, suddenly released from his hand into yours.

You were going to take 17 points of necrotic damage as he casts inflict wounds. That's hefty. Boom! That is the conclusion of these turns Walrus, you're out. Oh, no, I didn't finish you all, Here's another walrus. What do I do?

Do I say Felfip? No. Fuck Felt Pipp. What I would say is no. Fuck Felt Pep. If I came underneath your foot, like I crushed John Claw and underneath that. You can do anyone.

I think the walrus would feel responsible. If you're the only one that has had any inkling of friendship with anybody for sure. So like it's not unreasonable, right? Oh, I need to get to mid-meilet range to stabilize you. Because you just entered in this one instead? No, I don't have the movement. Oh, because you came, I see, I see.

No, you can't. You can't go ahead. That's the fate's designed. Yeah. Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry! I, bonus action, winnery teleport here. This guy is the Mega Wisdom saving throw.

Oh. Okay, nothing happens. Okay, nothing happens. Winter or whatever. And I'll just see them all fighting. I'll be like, come on, we're gonna do this together, mighty tasks. And I'm gonna use my action, you'd make a medicine check. Oh my God.

And the stabilized... Hey, I enjoyed this, the stabilized action. What if you get? 10 plus. Okay. I'm gonna twist it. I'm using one of my twists, because the walrus would twist. Oh, just more twist.

Ooh, hoo-hoo. Yeah. It's, man, the fucking star! Gigantus, elephontas, elitus, you got more twist. You got plenty more twist. A Nat 1 and then a net 3. I'm using one more.

He's gone again. There we go. 13. He's stabilized. Did that mean you're conscious or you just... No, no, no. It clears his death saves. Is he...

Do you roll D4? For any saving throws? No, won't I wake in one D4 hours? Oh, technically. Is he zero or one? He's in zero. You're still... Okay.

You just won't be rolling... You're awake in one hour if nothing else happens. You just won't roll death saving. Yes. I don't get any damage at all. Okay. Yeah. All right.

The creature behind you before takes a crack at you and is going to hit the dealing. I can't get up. Eight points of bludgeoning damage. You get hit by that same club again. What, how much damage? Eight. Are you sure you hit me?

Yeah. Okay. I roll the natural 18. Okay, fine. You hit me. Uh. Top of the round. The light shifts.

Oh, shit. It moved. Oh my god. Oh, that's clever. Wow. The light begins to shift and there's a pulse. And you imagine that everything outside of the, there were no creatures there, but looking at the bodies,

you see them turn to dust as they are immediately destroyed what corpses were there. Wow. In the mist. Yeah. Wow. And you realize that the area you are in may not be safe for very long, And suddenly...

It's still safe, though. It's white. It's still white. Or no, is it red? It's starting to turn around. You can see it's changing. Okay. So, like, it's like the spotlight that came down

shrank and moved, and you realize that if you don't get there until the end of here, you're either going to take damage or instantly die. I haven't conveyed whether that should happen because of the nature of no one's experienced that. What happens?

We might get fucking swish-smoked. That'd be really cool. Funny. Boop the round, number one, the one that's closest to Glitzy. Yeah. On Riches sign, he's going to move into the center of the space. Opportunity attack? Right there.

You can take an attack of opportunity if you want to. Like a shocking graph. No, I will not. I will keep my reaction. And then he'll turn and he will release magic missiles against two of the companions feeling 1d4 damage by whatever to them and Glitzy also to you one moment I'm gonna use my reaction to make a he's gonna do a minus 1d4 if it's a half against me it's a magic missile at automatic oh yeah oh I didn't hear what he said um so you're going to take uh wow max damage five force damage and one more missile in that direction that's going to be

Man, that one's just barely holding on. Okay. Uh, Babar. I turn my attention away from the elf that has been kind of like trying to beat up on me. And I turn to this one who is behind me. And in one swift motion with the mall, I made two sweeping attacks against it. But before the attacks land, as a bonus action, I cast thundering smite. Okay.

Double 18's to hit. They have both. The first one will trigger the thunderous smite, which is an additional 2D6 slender damage, but also you must make a strength saving throw. Or be knocked 10 feet away from me and throw me. I love that. That guy's 14. Fails, you needed a 15.

So I knock him this way because I'm swinging sideways. Yep. And he also takes, not those eights, 10, 15... Oh, on this guy. 20, no, to this guy. This was the elf that I've been beating up the whole time. I switch targets to this guy because I wanted to be... But if you knock him away on the first term, then you're not in range.

Hmm, that's true. You can use the thundering spot. I have to just make the second attack. Anyway, it's 20 points of damage to him. 20 points? I think it says the first time. Yeah, the first time I hit. Oh, so you use your attack.

So then my second attack will just land from the back, and he realizes that he's quite far away from the way. My second attack will just be on this guy. Okay. That's perfect. Oh, that hits. So close. Wibbs and Shred.

Nine points of damage to this elf. At the athlete. Nine? Yeah. And then I'm just going to use my movement, which is 30 feet of movement, which is what? Seven and a half. Two more? Two more.

And he can take an attack opportunity from the elf guy if he's not, if he's somehow still standing. You hit him hard and you barely feel it clink against the back of your armor as you get away and glitzing. You're up. Foo! Die, peasants! I am going to, so my life. So on my last turn, just because I hadn't talked to you about this, but what I did was I used my bonus action to get rid of the second-level spell slot

to get more sorcery points back. So I'm going to use my bonus action now to use my sorcery points to regain a third-level spell slot, and I'm going to cast a fireball again. Let's fucking go. Jeez! Is all this just rubyx Q3 so that you can have unlimited fireballs? I get that. I get that.

And I'm going to try and get all of them and not hit Babbar if I do. If I could do that. 100%. You can't do that. You throw it against the wall and it ignites. Like a basketball. Just big enough to consume those creatures that's not a bar. That's going to be how many saves that I know make?

I really want to see what's going to happen. Anybody caught in the mist? Nobody's got caught yet. Two fails, three successes. Two fails, three successes. And I do not have a number. enough to empower this. Super hard rock radio.

This ain't near Granny Station where we only play real, real rock and roll. 36 points of dance. Next up. Next up. Radioactive by Imagine Dragon. It never gets old.

Waking up. 36, that's 18. I cannot express to you how much Kelsey hates that song. Oh, really. Oh, she's... She must love the meme. Loads.

Loads radioactive. There we go. There we go. Y. Y. These two fall to the ground burning and... And then I'm gonna use my movement to get... I'm gonna use my movement to get into the sphere.

You get like here? Yeah, because I wanna leave the way open for people. Okay. You could also actually make it here too if you wanted. Yeah, if you want to... Philpiff, we failed you. I'm so sorry. Philpip, you're up. Nothing happens. Nothing happens.

You literally can't move. Yeah, I mean, he might be toast either way, unless you can pick up, I'll pick up his body and carry him. I have an idea, but we'll see you. Here's a twist. That's it. Let's grab this. Thank you.

They're going to move into the circle, and this one's going to attack that one, or rather he's going to make a wisdom saving probe. to see if he can, given that sanctuary that's still up, and he cannot. So both of them are going to attack afar, and this one fails, but this one hits, and so that is going to be eight points of bludgeoning. Okay. Clubby and that's going to be the conclusion of their turn, Walrus.

Um, oh, how weak do these guys look? They're looking pretty fresh. They're looking fresh. that guy. I smoke this, this idiot. Oh, um. He's, he's gotta be pretty fresh. He's pretty fresh. He's looking like hell. That guy's looking bloody. Bloody. You've been looking a hundred times bloody, but, you know. Oh my god, uh, I, I got nothing, I got nothing for you, Phil Pip. That's

fun. That's fine. Oh, I'm sorry. We were such good friends for three names. We were teammates. They're all the 48 hours. We're in prison together for a long time. We're saying he's only there for three days. That's right. We go way back. Three days. Give me, hold on, one second.

Yeah. One second here. So if I do, let's see what I go. I am so eager to find out what happens to people who get caught in the mist. I think it's in death. I don't think it's just damage. It's got to be. So I already use one of those.

Can't do that. Can't do that. What's the highest I can roll on a fireball? 8 times six, 8 times series 2448. Is that right? 8 times 6, things 480. So technically, if you know, they would all have to die. Yeah, if we kid, that's what I'm trying to think. Can I kill them all on a single turn? And then have it shut off. And then have the game view over. That's really interesting. Probably not.

Um, I think they're all too far away from each other. Yeah, yeah. Because I knocked that guy away. I was hoping to instant kill him. That's why I knocked him farther into the red, you know? Yeah, well, he'll definitely die. But he'll just get incinerated at the same time. Yeah, I just, I fucked up the placement of the enemies.

Well, I mean, even then, like, let's see here. Can I get at least this guy? Oh, wait. You can hit all of them, yeah. Wow. I mean, that's pretty fucking close. I mean, I think it's, like, yeah. Pretty legit. Yeah, you can hit literally all of them.

Will you count that, Derek? Yeah. It just means that bar. I heard it except for you, Pellip, and Glitzy will take damage. I have visible bruises, but I don't look like I'm bleeding. You can tell that I'm beat up. This is my best shot I got. And I will make it cold, of course.

Dexterity is not. I'm a Viking. I, I don't know. I think I just eat this one. There are still five on the board, right? Yep. Yeah, yeah. And I think I'm going to make this.

a quicken spell because then that leaves me an action still for a second level spell to finish off to hopefully finish off somebody okay I got to roll

I think I got to roll at least a 10 it might be worth one twist but like how much damage is you gonna do well shit I would you just calculated it and it's gonna be 48 when you roll the max damage I have to twist I gotta try because he could actually

down me if I take full damage Like, he'd have to rule really well, but it's certainly possible. You got it. Nailed it. Number four. 24 decks save. D-T-8s? I need to do...

Sixes, these sixes. Sixes. Save things. Five. Only one six feet. Oh, is the one guy out of it? Yeah. Oh, I thought he said he could get them all.

No, all of them. That's five. Except for me and... And two and six feet. Oh. And I'm going to save this one and this one. Come on. Come on.

That's a two as well there. Two. No, I didn't roll single six. So we have ten. We have 15, 20. 10, 20, 22, 24, 26. Well, it's a good thing I...

31 points of... How much? How much? I take 15. Did I add the five to that? I did, right? Yes, I think you did. I thought you did. 10. 20... 22, 24, 24, 26.

31. Yep, 31. Now I'm looking rough. That bar's looking bloodied. That is the state of the game after the Waller's Ball. I assume it was in the Warwick Ballers Ball. Yeah. Walworth Ball suddenly lands crashing into the space. This is cacophony.

You're hearing three, you're hearing deaths in all directions. It is madness. Yeah. Oh, that's right. You gotta use your movement. How much do you have? I can teleport in there. Oh, good point.

Oh, I forgot I could do that too. Boom. Not last term, because I used my bonus action. I tried! Oh! Good night, sweet prince. The one that fell, was he not prone? Yeah.

Yeah, he's fucked. He's not making it. Fuck that guy. So if he gets up, he has 15 feet of movement. Yep. Five, ten, ten, fifteen. Fuck. And he's going to dash. And he's just going to get there.

That's horseshit. I really, yeah. The worst part is we're not going to know if it's just damage or if it instant kills. Well, either way. You only want to hit, so we won't know. Oh, that's true.

We'll see. What was your last thought felt of before you hit the ground unconscious? I finally discovered the meaning of you. I'm going to be able to be. You're swimming in the deep state of unconsciousness that you're in, not feeling any of this, but somehow sort of understanding.

And there is a pulse around you. The light shines bright red for a moment, and you watch as Felthip and the other corpses that are outside beyond the threshold of this light. are stripped away of all flesh, turning into ash like leaves just blowing away. And Phelphip is no more. All that's left are bleached bones and the cloths,

leathers, and items around his person. His felpip is destroyed. You see a spirit immediately fly up, and presumably find its way in the chest above them. I don't know what I'm going to spray the soldier. Five. Five fireballs. As I watch this happen, five fireballs. Batbaugh takes a moment and says,

I will see you in the nine hells, brother. Or, wow, the west, beef. Yeah, nasty eagles suck whales. Yeah, they do. Holy shit. I'm gonna roll one of your eight for. Presuming that this is one and this is. Sure. So I have. West.

That's amazing, though. Doesn't that move at the top of the round? It is the top of the round. Oh, my God. Oh, you're right. Oh. Someone said good ridden spellbid be freak of nature. The absolute vigil.

But I mean, oh my god. Ritten piss. Sanctuary, bro. Oh, God, backwatch. Sanctuary. He releases a thunder ray. offender ray and get all three in this person. That's funny as fuck.

What is a, is it a coat? A 15 foot coat. And he's here? Yeah. He would have, so it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it depends. I can do these three, but not him. You could do, no, you, basically you could do us three, you could do these two, or you could do, because he, he can move two.

Well, he wants to make sure that he can avoid a type of opportunity, so he's going to, um, attack, um, attack of Bar and Walrith and the unnamed us. Yeah. Well, he needs to get to the circle, so he needs to move. He's not allied. Oh, Thunder, it's a cube, it's a 10 foot cube. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He can still hit, yeah, he can hit us.

It's not 10 feet, it's a 15 foot cube. Oh, yeah. Oh, then he can do, oh, yes. He does this and I thought it was a code. No, no, no, it's, he can get all of us, or he can get. He wants to get the guy to his left. This guy? Yes. He can get all these people. Okay. Yeah, 100%. He does. And everyone needs to make a Constitution saving throw. It's a wave of thunderous force. Explode outward.

Except for me though. Except for you. Oh. What is it? Dex save? Yep. No, Constitution saving throw. That's better for me. All right. Uh, 18. Success. Oh, that's not great. Oh, yeah, plus four. Die at all. I do. Because you're close to me now. Uh. If you want to grant it.

Yeah. 20, but I have to subtract a D4, right, from that spell or something? Yes, right. Yeah, I'm 18. Nice. You also succeed. Do we take anything? The other creature, yeah, you take half of 12. Oh my god. And the other one does not succeed.

He is blasted back, 15 feet. And slams falling down to the ground. Even so, he's going to turn and run this way. Five, ten, fifteen, and get into the door right here. So opportunity attacks from the free of us if we want to do it. I'm gonna see my reaction, but... However. Okay.

Let me make sure that... Should you battle map this real quick? Just see the state of the battle here. I'm gonna make a quick concentration check to make sure that he held on. He did. So he still has sanctuary on him in order to target him with... This guy? This guy?

It's just, he's just got a... Sanctuary, you can't do anything unless it drops the second you do anything. I'm gonna fucking keep this guy... skullin. Right? Yeah. You're right. Castings, making an attack. Attackers castes. I didn't realize that when you had sexual, okay, the sanctuary doesn't exist. Slape away. I use my reaction to beat the shit out of this guy. Oh, so plenty to hit. We just need a crick. We need a fucking crib. He's looking the best of everyone. Twelve points of damage to that. Twelve points of damage. Ow, my ass. All three of us can have? If you want to take an opportunity attack, I'm saving my reaction, but if you can choose to. I don't have anything that will allow me to use a spell on him to do it.

Okay. Yeah. He makes it, and nursing his wounds is basically readying himself to stay inside the circle as best he can. Bar. As an action, Babar actually swings and crushes this guy as he runs away, and everybody who's paying attention would notice Babbar stumble. He's bleeding. pretty heavily, you know, from his face, from his body. As he readies, he plants his mall next to him to stabilize himself,

and he reaches up, and he mumbles something to himself that no one else can quite hear as he touches his chest and as an action uses all 30 points of lay on hands. Oh, shit. That's nice. That was probably wise. So I will heal 30 points. I have no more lay on hands. The wounds magically begin to close up, and he instantly looks like he's revitalized,

and I will use my movement taking an attack of opportunity from that guy to get into the circle. Natural 20. Son of them. Bitch. Yeah, you got me. But you're good. I'm okay for now. I mean, unless he just crushes me.

17 points with flash. That's pretty good. That's half my, that's half my heel. More than half my heel. That's my turn. What's your maxed to pay? it was 58 I love how you're the big beefy guy

you 58 is they have almost double every single one of us double RHB I will survive and yet we're still alone I'm going to use all of my movement to get to the corner next to him and I'm

Were you here? She's right there one and a half She can get there Yeah yeah 100% And so I'm going to reach out

and I am going to I'm going to reach out and I'm going to grab his face and I'm going to go, God, you're looking so cute. Let's change that. And I'm going to cast burning hands. Oh! On this fucking guy? Yeah. Okay. What does he have to do? Well, he has to use a, well, he's got to do a next 30 saving group, but his luck isn't so great because I'm burning his face off. So it's going to be minus the D4. Damn. Are you gifts to 17? Damn, he's only going to take half of this, which is 11, so take half of 11.

Okay. He screams in pain, and when you pull your hands away, it's like when you sit up from one of the metal slines during the summer, then you might. In Arizona, yeah, in Arizona. He looks like you went face first down the slide. The creature closest to the walrus is an orb. and he is going to, seeing what's written on the wall, just race towards that final slot there.

Oh, no. Oh, this is brutal. And that is where he is going to be. What is he going to do with his turn that I haven't done already? Damn it. He is going to look at, I'm going to roll a flip a coin and decide whether he attacks the one on the left or the wallace. He's going to attack the other one.

That one fails an intelligent saving throw. He takes a certain amount of damage, and he'll have to subtract one to be four from his next saving throw. Okay. Walrus. How strong, how healthy are you looking? The one that took the burning hands is looking the healthiest. The two, the one that is who just entered the circle,

is looking more than bloodied, and the one behind you is looking half-health. Hmm, let's see This is so great Thank you I fucking love super deadly shit I love that we just like Here's the other thing too is I know that like

Nobody else knows what character's coming next Unless you've changed your mind I'm very excited I'll take the week If you change your mind Well no I know it won't be today regardless I'm curious if you stick to what your original I have like four ideas

And I was very excited for one of this. I was going to rule the D4. Maybe I still do that. I love that. Maybe I'll still do that. Either way, I love that we're going to get to see some other characters. I love that this is so deadly. I love that.

I love that. I love that. It's fun for a four episode. Absolutely. This is something you could do it in a row. No, no, no. And so this is fun. It's reminiscent to me of Cobold Storm.

I mentioned this before, where you guys, you know, tried to throw as many cold wolves as you could at the Tomb of an Island Ocean or whatever it was. Like, that's awesome to me. That's fucking great. It's, yeah, and it's one of those things where it goes to show how powerful player characters are when this fight is so stupidly overtuned, like insanely poorly balanced.

I took five fireballs, fireballs, and it still took, it's an instant terrain death thing to kill me. It goes to show how fucking tough it is to take down PCs. Like the fact that literally anybody can walk up to you and be like, no, you're not dying. Right. Yep, yep.

Death is so hard. I liked old school D&D rules where you had to keep track of your negative health. Yeah. Because, like, if you had negative 40 and you healed 20, you're still at negative 20. Right. You'd have to push it past zero again in order to heal someone to get them back up and online. That's a fun. That's a lot more.

But it's a lot math. It's very math. It's very much. Makes healing infinitely more important. You're going to take the Dodge Action here pretty soon. No, that's what I'm going to do. what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna use my action. How many good I do?

To cast. This is a 30 foot cone. Don't like that. Get the fuck out of my space! I'm gonna, I'm gonna, just the whole thing, I'm gonna stick my arm out. And a bunch of frost will blast from my hand and...

You're guessing cone of cold? I'm not high enough for that. I was gonna say, holy fuck. I thought it was like a sixth level spell. Fifth? Maybe? Uh, it's sixth level I can't. It's number six.

I can't remember which one. Unless actually what I should do, he's an orc, you said? Mm-hmm. What is this guy? Yeah, I know. But I can't risk it if he rolls high. Because it's, yeah, no, I can't do that. Yeah, I have to try it.

Go for it, man. You can kill one of them. I need to kill one of them. And I don't think I have anything single target that's like super... Or just shove them. I mean, like, you do have the option to try to, like, Strengthening up. There's nothing stopping you from literally being like,

I want to squeeze and try to push him five feet. That would be a simple. Is that an action though, or is that a... I will tell you. Because if there's squeezing rules that I can get in here with my movement, yes, you can. You would be able to squeeze between and attempts the shove action. If you failed, you'd be popped back out and you wouldn't be dead.

But if you are able to... But the shove action is athletics or acrobatics. Using the attack action, you can make. make a special melee attack to shove a creature to knock it prone or push it away from you. I can bend your luck. It can be no more than one size larger than you, which it isn't. Instead of making an attack roll,

you make a strength check contested by the target's strength or dexterity, athletics or acrobatics check. If you succeed if the target is not even infested. If you succeed, you either knock it the target prone or push it five away from. I have plus zero. He is presumably plus eight or nine or ten.

Do you fucking blast the shit here? Yeah, we're just gonna try it. Yeah. So I'm going to write, let me just make sure, it's a con save versus a. Kono Kola's fifth level. I don't know why I thought it was sixth. Versus a.

I was going to say, I thought it was five, because I can use the wizard feature where I make it max damage. Overcharge it, because I can't do it above fifth level. That's the cap one overcharge. Oh, yeah, yeah. OK, yeah, yeah. OK, yeah. It's a con saving throw for all of you.

Awesome. Glitzy, you get plus four. Awesome. I get a 14. I got an 18. I got a 24. Nice. Oh, woof.

That's awful, dude. That just feels so bad. That's really unfortunate. 11 points of damage. There's no way. And I will quicken with my last horsey points. Same spell? And same spell.

15. Fails. 16. Do I still get a plus 4? Yes, you do. Yes, you do. As long as you're within 10 feet to me. Do we take a 10th to me? half or we take nothing.

You take half. Oh, fuck. What are you rolling? Two D8, five D eight? Three D eight. Three D eight. Uh, this could be bad. Um, 23 this time.

3D8, you could smoke me here. You might, if you roll max, you're gonna smoke me. Well, I'm not just. Oh my God. 18 points of damage. Jesus. This is never, I'm so well, I can't, oh my God, I healed my somebody has ripped through my fucking elbow.

Fucking help, pool. That's enough. No way. You hit this guy and he falls down smoking. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. I squeeze in. Oh, are you okay? I'm sorry.

Oh yeah, I'm all right. Here's just a little cinch for what's new. It's a Wednesday. I'm breathing heavily and I just hold my hand up to like signify that I'm still okay. The final creature out in the waist realizes there's very, very limited time left. And as you all cramped together, huddling,

the one else sort of screaming obscenities at you, but happy to see that he has one of the four remaining slots. This fifth outsider is going to make a desperate move, a ploy to attempt to get his own space. This is very bad for Bevar. This is gonna be... He doesn't do anything complex, nothing explodes, There's no huge, uh, uh, shattering attack.

He takes, uh, look at the closest creature to him. Walrus. No. And he makes a melee spell attack against the target. I was going to say, if he's so funny. Um, I'm going to use my reaction. So he's walking up. I'm going to use my reaction.

A melee spell attack. Uh, technically it's thorn whip, so the range is 30 feet. Oh, okay. And I'm going to use my reaction to subtract the de-thorx from his attack. And I'm just going to catch shield. Yeah, I'm just shielding. Just preemptively. Okay, so your APE is.

21, 22. Nice. And then minus 1B4. And that's it for my sorcery points. You were able to shield, and at the last second, the thorn whip hits that shield and stops and falls to the ground, it's self- evaporating. He runs, screaming, realizing that there is no time left,

but there is a sudden pulse, and you watch, Instead of his actual body coming at you, the pulse happens, and instead, an unanimated skeleton simply stumbles forward and collapses in front of you and crashes and disappears into dust. Holy shit. Battled CGI Skeleton. Oh my God.

And the three of you remain alive with but one other survivor, and all of a sudden the moment that that skeleton clatters to the ground, the light transforms from red to white across the entire room. And all you see looking around is the absolutely microwave remains of everything else. No, half-thelph remains there, and the doors open immediately. Watching, from the shadows, the third trial is completed. Not fell, Pip, man, I was just starting to like that guy.

He did it. Let's go, the walrus. The Wolves really wants to keep the group together. Glitzy deserves the world, and the world deserves to hear her music, okay? It's true. Babar's violence feeds us. We require more. The weak will burn under the feet of the strong.

This concludes the second day of trials. Enjoy your evenings. Think on what wagers you plan to make tomorrow and on whom. We hope you have enjoyed today's Cuddlefish sweepstall. fix. And that is where we'll call tonight's session. Oh, God. What a session. That was close, man. Holy moly.

Unbelievable. I love the zones. Yeah. I love the shrinking zones. Although now I really want to go play PubG. I'll play Fortnite. I'll play Fortnite. Good. Good for you guys. Number one victory Royale. I mean, I played last night and I got three crown fix in a row. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends

of Aventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Hire to unlock Shroud over a saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventrys. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avengers community, join us on Discord at Legendsofaventures.com slash Discord. We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at Legendsofaventures.com social and make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5E supplement published by us get your own copy at the crooked moon.com

thanks again and we'll see you next time