Legends of Avantris - Cuttlefish Sweepstakes | Ep. 3 | The Doctor Is In

Episode Date: June 20, 2025

A new challenger approaches as the party advances to round 3...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/Vxw59n2i1rA?si=MnVkshCibiNR0KS7

Welcome to Legends of Aventrists. And we're back. It's day three of the 43rd Grand Fleenfell Prime Material Plain Championship brought to you by Everwood's Emporium. And boy, oh boy, things are really heating up as we enter the semifinals. Yes, it is. Or is that yes, they are? Unclear. It's another beautiful day in Goodberry Square.

I'm Tank Hammerfall, and coming up are the Thrycreen Dream Team versus the pubescent freakish samurai turtles. The team that wins today will be facing off tomorrow against the grown opportunity seekers. You know, these team names have really gotten out of hands ever since the mighty trunks came onto the scene. You can say that again. Any other thoughts before the king's whistle sounds, Verit?

Yes, for years I've sat here with you watching game after game of flameflow. And all this time we've been saying the sponsor of this championship is Everwood's Emporium. But to be honest, I don't think once in all that time have we ever described what it is they offer. That is an outstanding point, Verrett. Let's take a minute before the game to describe Everwood's products and services in graphic detail. To begin, I'd like to start by recommending my absolute favorite item. Hey, wait a minute, you can't be in here.

This is the announcer's box. Yeah, get out of here. What are you doing? Stop this right now! This is preposterous. I see that you know your judo well. Get your hands off of me. I'm not about to, yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, help for being. This might be your best one, you know. They just keep getting better. Welcome to Cuddle fish sweepstakes. Cuddle what? Sweepstakes, what? That's right, Verit.

I'm told that today a little more than three dozen strange souls will be vying to survive in a deadly competition for the entertainment of the very clientele that. so kindly requested our presence. Yikes. Finally, some good fucking entertainment for once. Yes, I'll take a double shot of red spider whiskey

and a bowl of lemon wedges on the side, thank you. Verrett, these people are betting their very lives for a chance at Godhood. They could die at any moment. The prize may be grand, but at what cost? I'm not here to pass judgment. Let's call them as we seize them. Fair enough.

Well, coming up next is whatever nightmarish slotorama, the powerful organizers of this gauntlet, plan for our brave contestants. Brought to you, uh, stay tuned, folks. This is Cuddlefish, sweet, thanks. Enjoy! Bravo! Bravo!

Got you got to go out. I see you know your judo well. Oh, my God. That's probably the best meme on the internet. The five of you reassemble in the dormitory. And for the floor. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. The four of you reassemble in the dormitory.

Jean-Claude, you are shocked and horrified to see that Fel-Pipp is not among the few returning back to the dormitory space. You see Glitzy there. You see the walrus. You see Babar. Familiar faces. But Fel-Pip is absent. Well, I say, I say, I say it seems a one man down. Where is Phel-Pip on his way? he's on his way all right to hell how did you say that

because when he joined me back to back in the middle of that arena I told him I would see him there one way around them well I mean think of all the times we spent together those three days in prison

I do I hold them fondly and I'm sure he is dancing on the corpses of the damned in one of the nine hells well it looks like everybody else made it is that the case Yes. We're more or less than one piece.

Nothing of value was lost. How did you survive? Well, oh, that is a trying, trying story. For another time. You may be covered in tremendous amount of bruises, magical scrapes and scratches, maybe blood coming down, trickling from your ears.

You also had a fight in an arena, an arena that slowly shrank over time, having this deadly light and only this increasingly small area to survive in. Only four people of the original people, 10, that went in there survived the onslaught. And you can look over and see the pale faces of the shock faces of the people who were fighting with you

and then finally managed to escape with you as the four of you cuddled in the final zone zone before the rest were all either destroyed, basically disintegrated by the red light or killed during the combat itself, to fight for that limited space. Well, it was a terrible experience. So horrible I couldn't possibly bring it to words. Sure you understand. Did you kill the man?

Yes, yes, I did. Well, allegedly. Unfortunately, I hadn't realized the game hadn't started yet. So, that was awkward at the time. Poor fellow, Pip, I tried my best. It's all right. He died doing what he loved. Well, not quite. There weren't any woods or teenagers. There was no one to load. There were no souls to feel.

No souls to feed to the great cloven one. No horned king. So he more or less just died. Not just died. It was disintegrated, and his soul was slurped through the air into that horrible treasure chest. That's a good point. What's the point of any of it? We have to wonder if the souls of the damned are not trapped in there forever.

They probably are. the chest still hovers, almost slowly rotating in the air, just above at the very top of the dormitory. You are free agents in this dormitory in this space to sleep, to get food, to enjoy the few amenities that exist within this space. You've noticed that even conflict

is not something that the showrunners seem to care about, But the few attempts of folks trying to get up to that chest by flight or teleportation or any form of deception have been immediately put down. At this time, the chest simply just rotates crackling with nefarious energy. And this is what we've come to understand is the prize? This is the prize.

At the end of each game, the chest will open. And you can see spirit, getting pulled into it, the lives, the very souls of the other creatures who have perished in these games. I'm gonna go eat 32 egg salad sandwiches in his honor. You would eat that, Medi. I didn't know they were letting de-rate supervillains into this competition.

You turn, and you hear this voice. I am presuming that you are also perhaps getting some food and have a plate of whatever Dr. Poison would be most interested in... A plate of poison! In consuming. What does Dr. Poison look like as the group turns to hear this strange voice?

Dr. Poison is wearing a comical doctor's outfit straight out of spirit Halloween. With big rubber gloves. Do you have one of the classic masks, or is it like a... Just a smaller, like, mask on you? Like a surgeon's mask on your head? Do you have, like, a cap?

One of those giant, like, metal discs at the top. Maybe a stethoscope? I look like Dr. Dufan Smurz. But a snake man. And I make my super villain layer underneath the jungle temple-themed mini golf course. Hey!

I think I'm superior. You're here. Super villain around the Sparta. The walrus feels the right of the... There's only room for one villain related to animal-themed crime around here. Too bad. But you are correct. And it will be me, Dr. Poison.

What do you think, guys? Who's killed this guy right now? We certainly could. His accent is annoying. Nice try. I saw that little fucking freak of nature trying to steal my thing with the snakes while I was also taking the shit dead snakes, which actually was set up in the life searching. The foreshadowing was real. That's definitely what happened.

Oh, little did you know I sabotaged him. I poisoned his lunch, so he would be an idiot and get killed by six fireballs. Oh, he heard about that. Rest in piss. It was mostly friendly fire. Oh, I'm gonna go drown my Soros egg salad. And I'm gonna go to the cafeteria. Clearly, moved by the death of Felip,

the walrus makes his exit. Drink microwaves. Salad. What a freak of nature. I know that we don't know each other very well yet, but yeah, that was pretty weird. I admired your bloodlust. Thank you.

And I admired. I must. say, even though the walrus threatens me, based on our turf, I like his bloodshed, and it was he who partially killed the freak of nature.

It's true. There were lots of magics flying around in the last competition, but you must know, the walrus did his best to try to save Felpin, more than any of us did. The little freak got hit by all of it. Or I name isn't, Dr.

Well, if only you had been there, a real genuine doctor, you could save him. I could have saved him from life. Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway, do you want any egg salad? No. Good luck with the next competition. Sike!

Dr. Poison starts to make his way back towards the food table. And you can see that there are a few others. They actually get out of his way a little intimidated from what they witnessed, his abilities, being what they are. Though they were among the survivors in the previous competitions room with Dr. Poison,

they very clearly know that he's no one to be trifled with. Is there anything else that you want to do before you rest, before you sleep, before you're thinking on the next day's potential challenge, whatever that may be? What do you think? Should we, uh... Well, I say you mean the doctor? Yes. Well, I don't want to get in trouble for it.

I mean, it seems like the wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. That was pretty good. That's actually very funny. Glitzy, would you back me up on this? Back on what? Sorry. Killing Dr. Poison. Oh, I don't want to go anywhere close to him. Poisoned bombs don't mix.

We don't? Here's the thing, the walrus. You like to fear me. Numbers are dwindling. It will not be long before we are forced to turn on each other. But until then, we might be able to find him useful. Or what we could do, was just turn on him now.

I like that idea. I thought you were gonna make some bombs and poison. Yeah, in a friendly manner, for sure. I think the time may present itself where we can proverbially use him as a human shield. Oh God, it looks like a bunch of chickens were just delivered to our homestead. What?

A hatch in the ceiling opens up, and all of a sudden, 15 chicken. 15 buffaloes. I said, I told you not to come to work. I said, I told you to never visit me in the total of three days. Now on harm. Let's take a minute and get some chicken wings. Oh, God, what the fuck?

You awakened, having enjoyed a long rest. The dormitories are quieter. They're far, far fewer. people and still the same number of beds, effectively enough beds for perhaps four or 500. And now there are but 40 people remaining. You're starting to realize that you're getting more and more familiar with the faces of the few people who have this rare chance of surviving the cuttlefish, the sweepstakes, Dr. Poison being one of them. As you awaken, you enjoy a and you realize very quickly you're being corralled into groups.

And sticking close to those that you know most of all, the four of you find yourself sort of partnered, already teamed up with Dr. Poison and five others as you are grouped into teams of 10. I need to access the battle mount. Oh, oh. It's gonna be wrong. I'm sorry.

I'm gonna take another break. My apologies. Team of eight. It won't be hard for me. It's fun. I kid mostly. Oh, I kid someone. Thike.

Oh, and I don't have, I found three of the bottle caps, but I don't have, for some reason I'm not, I don't have two more bottle caps for the other folks. I can grab some, but I don't know where the others went that we had previously. We've got to be on the table, right?

Wait, so what is Dr. poison exactly? It's a U.N.T. But what, like... Artifacer. Artifiser. Okay. I love the worst class. I don't know what a doctor dofen schmertz is. I'm a mad scientist.

The contest. Is that a pet of a platypus? Yeah. Oh, I don't like this, Derek. Except, I mean, I have a lab coat. Is this, like, rope tug? No, we did that much.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, let's... We play tug of war and for us. night last session. Can we battle map it, Andy, if we just show what the folks with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can see there's four squares, three squares, two squares, and then an indeterminate number of squares. And then infinity squares. One square and then determine a number of squares. Infinity squares. So we'll see how this shakes out here.

Like this. Avoid. This will be like the start, yeah, and then there's a dotted line up out over here. So we'll try to be sliding around. All right. I would like to everyone to note that I'm just shuffling leaves. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. I love shuffling. We're going to go over under a little bit.

Just shuffling these that don't. Cut. And go, go. I say, I say I was eloquence the whole time. I was also not an elephant. That old elephant was dealing

with whispers and shadows. Certainly not me, a proud Salt Declare. I have always been in the eloquence. If you think different. You've not been paying attention. Speaking of the TV troves, a bit of a retcon.

A retcon. Oh, I'm going to look at types of TV tropes for retcons. A retroactive canon, I say, I say. That's okay. Don't worry about it. Recorder strike back from the record. Oh. Dang.

Interesting. This is like the glass one. All right. You can figure out movement. I'm sure. Very confident. I love Mr. Deeds. Let's just put them on the lines.

That's the way to do that. Sure. Oh, and we had a long rest, so I can't. We did. This is not a touch screen. Yeah, don't. Smeared chicken all over your screen. Oh, that is not a sweet. I'll see, I'll see. Oh, sir, I'll say,

home alone. Jesus. That's so fucking gross. Too many whiskies now is on a night summer day, smearing chicken. Oh, the shore the smear lines. Sme your lines. Oh, fine. Are you all?

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me move. They're fine. Slightly, slightly. All right. And in case you made this, that's there. All right, you guys all need to start putting yourselves one, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight in one of these eight positions. And in addition to the five of you, there are three. I've seen the waters. Dr. Poison will show you. Should we roll from a position? I want to be third from the end. Which end? End close to Andy.

Okay. Right there. That's, this is the third position from the end. One, two, three, four, five, six. I'll put an NPC here. NFC here. I'll be far away from that blubbering idiot, the walrus. Do you get it, blubbering, idiot?

I'm not sure that we just. I'm fucking kill you! On a sashage eating fried chicken. Oh, yeah. I don't know where the... Well, this is delicious. I'll say, I'll say it's 13 herbs and spices. It tastes better because of my sins.

Well, I say I sit. France, Ruff. This can be you, Dr. Poison. I'm just defining it to you. Oh, Dr. Pathan. Rose Gold. Who are we missing that doesn't have a... Jean-Claude.

John Claude. Far away from that idiot, the world. You can be a red chickeny. fish thing. Okay. It's a little bit of a tight squeeze here. A red chickeny fish. Yep.

It's good enough. Exactly. All right. Oh, the wall. They're pissing. You're fucking frowned down there! Mechanically. That's right.

They have my favorite trope. The enemies to lovers between the walrus and a dark one. Let me see what I have is. There can be only one mini golf course. Super villain later in golfico. I'll show you lovers. You better out some ballroom. I'm gonna fuck you.

Standard movement members is a grand five feet for each square. And each one of these is sort of like a, there's like a moat that goes across and these bridges that very, very clearly are magical in some way. And that's true for all of these spaces. These lines are poisonous moats. The lines I put together are the moats, yeah. Is it relevant how you have, like some of these

are going this way, some of these are coming to horizontally? Horizontally? No, this is just so that you can't go around, right? Like, you're gonna have to go through each of these words. He means the orientation of the note card. It just means the orientation. See how the orientation. This doesn't matter?

When you flip them over, you'll see that they have words on them. Oh, oh, no, go. You must cross these bridges. You must cross the bridges. It would be extremely obvious to you that attempting to go through would mean falling to your death. And that would be true at each one of their moat threshold. And there's an obvious finish line.

This is fine. This is fine. Well, D.N. Can I fly over the moon? You would guess that you could not fly. What the fuck? You've been the worst race for this, John? Oh, well, well, welcome back, John Claude Leponte. It was me all along.

I was just wearing one of them giant chicken suits. It was from Peter Griffin down in soon as 10 minutes too long. Peter Griffin's in Fortnite right now. right now. Oh, a freaking sweet Lois, it's science on the tail. Lois, look, I'm in Fortnite now. That reminds me. He's full for no reason. It reminds me at the time that... You're all lit up, and you realize that at any moment, this energy shield directly in front of you is going to drop,

and you're going to have to make it from one end to the other in order to survive. but the nature of the actual competition, and still alludes you. Yeah, yeah. You can hear announcers for the first time. What? What is this game exactly? I'm not sure exactly what these portals, bridges.

What is the nature of the game? I'm being told that there will be challenges within each pocket that will have to cross in order to get from one threshold to the other and that they're going to be quite challenging. Oh, okay. Well, uh, does that mean that they all just have to make it across in order to get through the third? No, it's just the first four who get across the finish line. Everyone else is going to die. Oh. Well, that's fine. That's very serious. Half of them are going to die? Yes, half exactly.

Holy shit. Oh, my God. Okay. I need everyone to roll for initiative. I'll say we break Dr. Cepoison's legs. Cue! Oh my god, this is not a chess screen. I might twist this. I'm gonna use three dread. Thank you. Oh shit.

I'm twisting. It's because I use the one guy. It's easy. All right. 20 to 30. Nice. Is initiative an ability check? It's, it's a, it'll be plus four. It's a plus four initiative.

Yeah, yeah. I'm just asking if it's an ability. Yes, it is. I'm going to use my reaction to bet Dr. Poison's luck and he won before away from his job. Oh! This is savage already. Dr. Poison woke up on the wrong side of the end.

Thank you, Mike. Wow. Wow. Yes, it's an deletious. Oh, wow! Wow! Wow! Minus four.

Unreal! Oh no! I'm feeling a little molestasy. The C. Give me that molest. 15 to 20. Oh, I got a 21. I got a 21.

17. 17. Oh, shit. So Walrus and John Claude, Bep, bar. 17. I go first. Roll off. Fuck.

Roll off, for sure. Highest, highest number out of D20. You know way. No twist. It's a new twist. Probably, no. No, just roll up. Sure not.

No. Justin. Woo! John Claus is in it, baby. I got a 15. Oh, you did. Is this the new initiative? Or is this to do?

It's like, you know, this is the initiative that we're going to race in. Does that answer your question? Uh, Dr. Poison, what did you get? I got to need. That's amazing. You knocked him down two full spots in the race. Well, I say it looks like Dr. Poison has been found guilty. I'm being a bitch.

Oh! You made me go slightly. Aside from teleportation and flying, there are no rules to be your abilities. But I will note that it will require your action to engage one of the challenge squares. This means four. Sorry, can you say it one more time?

No teleportation, no flying. It takes an action to enter one of the challenge squares to attempt to cross. And, well, you can dash if you don't want to have an action. As I'm saying, you wouldn't have an action, but like if you wanted to go left or right, or if you wanted to stop and use your action to cast something to stop the others

or something along those lines. However, there are no rules except for those mechanical things that you should be aware of. And top of the round, let's see, you are up. I am going to go straight forward and use my action on the one in front of me. Okay, you reach it. Go ahead and flip it over,

and you can flip over the adjacent. one as well. Whoa, cool. Performance. Oh, you lucky duck. Intimidation and acrobatics. As you get closer, you get a sense that these are challenges that once you enter will have some sort of relevant skill

or ability that you might be able to use. Do you continue to jump into performance? I will jump into intimidation. Damn. Okay, she reverse. It jumps over there. jumps over there, and you jump into the portal. All of a sudden, you turn around and you realize that the space that you're inside of

is temporarily out of sync with the race. You have unlimited time in this dome space, because turning around, you can see all the other competitors racing forward are frozen in time. You look forward, and you're inside of a room. And right in front of you is a massive doorway. And before it stands a massive, huge guard with this giant, fuck you mace, with all these spiked barbs on the side.

Huge spiked pad for armor on all sides, rippling with muscle. And he's standing there, if you can scare me, you can go through. I'm gonna look towards him and my, as I'm looking up to when my eyes start to cross and look in different directions, because that's what happens when I look up at Rich.

And he's the biggest man I know. Oh, come, you're so. Okay, we're done, we're done. He's so big. He's very tall. And I'm gonna look up at him and I'm gonna say, you may be big and strong and have a mace, but when you're melting, you're smaller than a fairy.

And I'm gonna just like illuminate with fire. Go ahead and roll an intimidation check. check. Natural 20. Oh! 20. 20. I use my luck to subtract one. I used to put it.

The guard reaches forward for a moment and then withers and wilts and that's pretty good. He steps to the side and he invites you to pass through the portal. Thanks a bunch, friends. See you on here this so long. And you just skip on the way through and you arrive on the exact adjacent square.

If you still have movement left, you can get you use it at this point, but you've used your action to pass through the threshold. I have one, two, three. I think, like, what, have maybe one space of movement left? One, two, three, four, five. Now, you're, you're, see, you got here, right? Well, I didn't get onto performance, right?

It was right in front. Yeah, you would still have like, yeah, I think you'd be out. Okay, yeah, I'll stay there. One, two, three, four and a half, five and a half, six, yeah. So crossing the other threshold, you look around and you realize that if you wanted to make a perception

check to see what is the most immediate immediate things in front of you, you'd be able to do that. I do. I'm not very perceptive though, so I don't think perception, you say. A sweet eight. A sweet eight. You're just glad that you made it past that guard without a fight and blinking John Claw. Go ahead and make a perception check for me.

14. 14. I would say that is not enough for you to perceive the challenges directly in front of you. You would have needed a 15 or higher. But you turn, you realize that Glitzie has made it through her threshold as well, and that the next, the two of you are at this time, are in the lead. Walrus, you're up. Night drunk, do I get a sense that I can teleport as long as it in the realm of the game?

Like, I'm not cheating to like get ahead. It's teleporting within this rectangle. You do not know if it's teleportation would be cheating to get to the challenge, or if it would be teleporting cheating to get a course. cross the threshold without going through the challenge pit. You're not sure if you'd be punished for one of the other. Or both. That's a risky maneuver.

As we saw, we were banana slits. I'm proofing it. One, two, three, four. Yeah, there's nothing stopping us for going to a boil that someone's already been through. Nothing stopping you. I'm right up. Ah, ah, ah, I say, intimidation.

You jump, spending your action and land. and directly in front of you is this huge doorway. And it's filling the frame of this doorway, this massive muscly gar, breathing heavy. If you can scare me, I'll let you pass. Get the fuck out of my way! You're not gonna let me launch the doctor pigeon? Let's make an intimidation, sir.

This is the greatest ride over the whole time forever. You are twisting. Nothing will stop this. This is so good. I fucking love. this rivalry. 27. Are you supposed to shoot you that out there?

You pass immediately through. Oh, so do I occupy this? There's a key to each other. I'm sure it's fine. I would say if you land on the other side, do you have been moving on the game? No, I'm gonna wait. Okay, then you get displaced.

I would say that you bump into Glissy and bopped through the side of where you are now. Okay, make a perception check for me. Oh, natural one. Okay. You all are shocked by that strange temper Displacement experience, you do not have a sense of what challenges lay before you. Babar, you're up.

I'm going through the intimidation portal. 15, 20. Okay. You see the same thing. You jump through, and for a moment you realize that Glitzy and the Walrus are in front of you, already starting to make their next moves. You see Jean-Claude having just bopped out on his side. Looking behind you, you can see the others

are all starting to race towards additional challenges. There's a door in front of you, and in it a massive, towering, monstrous creature covered in armor looking to crush you with its massive mace. If you can scare me, I'll let you pass. I fear no man, mortal construct or god. And when I ascend, I will be back for revenge. Making an intimidation check.

I got a 14. I'm going to twist it. I'm going to twist it. Good call. I got a high plus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's going to be a 25. Oh. 25 is enough. You are able to pass through. Oh, oh. when you ascend, and you were able to walk through the door,

and you find yourself landing magically on the other side, bopping to the right of Glitzy as you... So all of this land is fair game. These lines are more just... They were initially guidelines that I wanted to just make sure that you guys didn't try to go around the challenges. You could just consider the outermost challenges as sort of the... I see. Got it.

Proceed? Yes. 18. Oh! All right. Go ahead and accept the medicine. Yeah, exactly right. Animal handling.

Medicine. Oh, jeez, Louise. Just for curiosity, would we have seen what this one is too? Since you all walk up the intimidation door? Yes. Ooh, nature. That's what Dr. Poise. Not good for Babbar, let me tell you.

Oh man, you think this is just every one of them? There's not a single repeat. Probably now. Uh-oh. You know, you know. our way through. Uh, this one's going to attempt to go through the nature door.

Are you following his movement rules as it matters. Every square matters. You're right, you're right. Where do you start? You can't just kind of handway it, Derek. One and a half three. It's 20. 20, okay.

That's we can do 10 after that. And then... Do we still have our movement after we leave the bill? Yes. Well, I thought only the first four off the line survived. No, no, no. First one at first four cross. Oh, through at the end.

Oh. Then I'd be fucked. Um. Um. Um. Um. I have a twisted thread, I'll lose it. Good enough.

This half elf is able to pop out to the other side in the fucking half-el. There's always half-hows. Unsure what exactly it was that they encounter. The next one, closest to Dr. Poison, is going to go 5, 10, 15, 20, and use his action to go into the one next to acrobats. This guy?

Yep. My hands are very shaky. I don't know why. I apologize. What do we look at? Religion. Religion. Sorry, I should have read it up.

It pops in there. And what happens inside the challenge is opaque to those watching from outside. You have no idea. But they don't succeed, and they bop back and find themselves in front of religion. Same spot or one square back? Same spot.

Okay. When somebody goes in, is it like an instantaneous? Yeah, it's like no time to have, it's like if you jump in, all of a sudden you just find yourself on the other side of this massive movement. Right. Yeah, yeah. Dr. Poison.

Oh. It's only one that hasn't been revealed yet. Do you dare? I suppose I could dare. Go, rock'em, fuck him, rock'em poison boots activate. And I'm going to use my special rocket boots to bonus action and move 15 feet. Okay.

All right. Is that deliberation or is this? Let me see. I just want to make sure that it's not like Misty Step or something. If it is teleport, I'm not going to do that. Just in case, oh, fuck. Try it, you covered. How do we know if we can do it?

We don't. We don't know. We haven't tried it yet. Oh, I don't know. I decided to make sense. He's a beard. I am a fared. I am a fiend.

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, is it more chickens? Always. There we go, sorry, sorry. Yeah, can fire it back up. Yeah, can fire it. We did this for chicken. Well, it's all family.

Well, it's all family. Teleport. It is a better about it. It is a teleport. Okay. So you wanna try it or no? I'm trying. Okay.

You attempt to teleport 15 feet and all of a sudden you feel yourself locked in to place. You imagine that if you had tried that farther up the field that you would have been bopped back here to the start line. Oh! You should have told them that would have been hilarious. That's good, I'll just walk you with my sneaky legs.

And I'm going to look at this guy and I'm gonna just go straight. I'm gonna say, oh, you wanna go to religion. I'm saying, you're mama don't dance. He was still see it though, right? So we know. Oh yeah. I'm going to religion.

You hop in and you realize that in this space, time is frozen for you. You have all the time in the world before returning to the heat of this race, before returning to the heat of battle. And you look up and you see that you're in almost a church-like space. There are empty pews all around you,

and you walk past many lit candles before you reach the center, and there's something of an altar there at the center, begging for an offering, and looking up at the stained glass in front of you, you see that there is a symbol, a symbol of a gear. Make a religion check for me.

Hmm, I am a very, I may be a supervillain, but I am a godly man. Oh, 14. 14. That will be a 22. Nice. Oh, wow. 22 is just enough as you realize

gear. It's one of those God's Derek likes to use. And reaching down, you realize that all one needs to do for the offering is put down any kind of simple tool or craftsmanship. I've got plenty of those. I'll produce my, I'll produce my thing longer.

You call the thing longer around. Mechanically, it's going to be my fucking, I have a million tools as a fucking. You get chicken. Yeah. They'll be thieves tools. Okay. You pop the thieves tools.

down and nice. You pop them down and all of a sudden the light illuminating through the stained glass window gets brighter and brighter and brighter until pop, bam, you find yourself on the other side of the threshold. Because I was straight, I can move up a square. Very nice. We're scaring maze. And I'll look over and I'll say, darn it. Look what the cat dragged in. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty to acrobatics. I'll think that trim can stay. I'm gonna use a twist of bread.

More than enough gets the other's way, and he also can use an additional space of movement. So we'll pop forward like this. Great. You find yourselves all along the line, go to see at the top of the round. You're up next. I am going to...

Oh, I'm sorry, my apologies. Dr. Poison, make a perception check for him. Oh, I'm... Dr. Poison. has poisonous eyes. Fuck. Stop rolling on the battlemen. Oh, fuck.

Is your total 15 or half? It is 19, I think it was a 15 year. And yes, you can flip over these two closest to you. Wonderful. Just so that you have all the information that she could want. Okay.

So what do we see there? Perception deception. Fuck. How far away is the deception? Far. Probably not that far for you, but. Can I make deception? If I have 30, it's more than 30.

One and a half, three, four, five, yeah. Okay, I'll go to deception. You can barely make it. One and a half three, four, five, six, yeah. You jump in and all of a sudden you find yourself in this strange sort of hazy space. You realize you're in some kind of a ziggurat or temple, but in front of you is almost like a monstrous stone creature,

like a sphinx almost. And it turns to you, its eyes flash and flare and glowers down at you and it says, if you can lie to me, I will let you pass. Oh, look over there! Make an exception, sir. I'm going to point. I just... 20. It looks at you and does not look to the side.

Instead, its eyes grow brighter and brighter and brighter, and it looks at you and says, I understand that was a deception, which means that you have failed. And all of a sudden, this beam of light lays your skin off. You feel this steaming hot. Could I use a twist?

I mean, yeah, you could have? No, no, let's he die. Okay. All of a sudden you get hit and you ignite into flames. You feel this terrible experience that you are scorbed, a quince. crushed away, evaporated and destroyed, and then reassembled behind the line

of the first set of challenges. Oh, oh. Holy shit. Up all the way back to adjacent to the NPC on next to religious. So just straight back. Straight back. You are suddenly shoved back by the challenge

and you find yourself one level back. But hold despite your terrifying experience. I was so ready to pull up my next character. But still whole despite your challenge. hold despite your terrifying experience. Oh my God. John Claude, you have a movement and bonus action left. You still have the remainder of your turn

if you want to do anything. No, I think that was the full of my movement, so I'm okay. I'm concerned that I physically won't have enough to get through some of this. I, just twist until you succeed. If I... Not if I only have plus one, it's like $2 something.

You know what you mean? Can I have perception check what this is and still potentially go to the deception one? Oh, well, yeah. Shouldn't the one next to the deception be open? Yes, because we'll walk faster. Mace, you're crushing the head of a chicken. Oh, oh, oh my god, that was made for John.

And everyone should know this about the game. I started with a high DC and it will steadily get down, reduced by one every round refresh. So if they're like, okay, if we're all failing, yeah, I thought that. That makes sense. It's gonna go in the fucking chicken, I swear to God. You're gonna get up.

No wonder I've been sick, are that? God, I'm getting hit by asbestos ceiling. Well, I'll see if I can't persuade the mighty guardian of this bottle. Son of a bitch. Oh, fuck, it's a spake's with laser eyes. You're jumping into deception or? Persuasion, my good man. That's what I was born to do.

Um... You walk into what is very evidently a courtroom. And a judge stands honorably at the very top of the... There's no audience or anything. There isn't any defendant, nor are there any accused. There don't seem to be any jury members. Just you and a judge. And you can walk up past the sort of hallowed wooden seats

and passing the bar, you walk up, and the judge speaks down to you and says, tell me, why should I let you pass? Well, Your Honor, it seems you found the great Jean-Claude Cholteclair on your docket, and you should let me pass because, well, you were employed by an evil cabal with many heads, and not even a judge is above the law,

and that means that comes someday soon, or maybe not at all, You will need legal representation. And I am the best in the land. Take my card. He starts to reach out, make a persuasion check. Oh shit. The beep-jockey pizza chal and claw, 24.

24 is enough. He takes the car. That's very convincing. And he allows you to pass, he hits his gavel. And all of a sudden, blinking, you find yourself on the other side of the, the other side of the threshold with the remainder. of your turn? I think I moved diagonal.

You were here, right? Yeah. One. Is there it? Does it cost any movement to go from here to here? I think you get that one. Or is that free? I need to get bumped from free, right?

Yeah, once you are adjacent to these two squares, you use your action and bop to the other side. Okay. So where did you start on? I was outside of performance. So one and a half, two and a half. Two and a half. He stole two and a half. So you can move, you know.

Can I, if I move in between these portals, can I attempt to see what they are? Or be able to see them without a perception check. Three and a half. Distance. Or, and you could make a perception check to see one of the edge cases if you wanted to. Well, do you see?

Can I see the two in the middle and make a perception check also? Okay. Insight. John Klaude has to defend him, represent himself in the edge. If you want to make a perception check, check for one or the other you may. No fucking way am I going to Arcana?

No fucking what I'm going to the inside? Uh, I'll try the one closest to you, go bar. Okay, make a perception check. That's you. You want to twist it? No, don't know. Okay, you're... I have no war chest.

Steve, you're still. The Walricks. How... Oh. No, unless you have more... Well, it's... I was thinking maybe I just move over here to see what this one is. what this one is.

Oh, I think I saw it. If you have enough movement, you have, you have, you can do one more. One more. Because you have three and a half and you're in our microcress, so you can only go four and a half. Okay, okay.

Okay. Yeah. I would say you're just out of range to be able to see the nature of the challenge within. I'll say, damn it. That being the conclusion of your turn, the Lawbers.

You know where I'm going. One and a half, three, four, five, to deception. Ah. Ah, you find yourself in a strange ziggurat temple somewhere deep within some kind of a tomb, and inside there's a stone creature, his eyes glow, and looks at you, and you hear her words, lie to me. Let me out of here. My oldest friend, Dr. Poisons out there.

We got to make it through. You're roommates in the guild of villainous intention, and we got to see through to the end. Biggs up tears. Take his inspiration. Unbelievable. I'm convinced. I'm twisting? Yeah.

Yeah. You gotta. Much better. Do you think 23's enough? It's got to be, right? 21? I do. I got 20 in that fair.

Oh, you got 20. I got 24. The last round 22 made it. So I think the deuce has got to be 21. I think it's 22 or 20. I'm going to let 23. I'm going to let 23. He's fine.

Each round to the DC goes down. Okay. So if 22 made it last round, 21 had to make it this round. 23. You may pass. And you find yourself up. My fingers are good for me back. Son of a bitch!

The statute would know that being able to detect lies as it does. In order to make sure that you are good at deception. And you were, so you successfully get to the other side. So I have one more square. I'm just gonna walk up here and look at this one. And you are able to see. inside there. Oh, fuck, athletics!

I'm not for the law, I'm a Viking. No! Bavar. I want to make it to Deception so bad, but I'm short. If I use Dash, that is my action, I can't go through a portal, correct? That's correct. Yeah, I gotta go through for persuasion. You gotta do prevent Chris.

It's fine, it would have been very funny for me to get through deception. I had a really good idea. What do you jump into? Persuasion. Persuasion, you find yourself walking into a courtroom. You've seen the inside of courtrooms before, but never as a lawyer or as a visitor, other than to have judgment be cast down upon you.

Has a strange feeling being in this space, but walking up, you realize the judge is waiting for you and not someone to give you a sentence, but instead to hear you out. Why should I let you pass, his words echo through the room? I, Babah, have been here many times. times before and never before have I been allowed to speak.

I have done many evil things, but I've done them in the name of my family and my brother. Nothing, nothing will stop me from bringing him back from his tragic fleam-fell accident. And I will not allow anyone to get in my way. Do you believe that makes me an evil man? I say not. He considers your words.

Make a persuasion check. Poor note for rebab. Well, I say that's exactly about never put him on the stand. Okay. I'm twisting. Oh, I'm twisting again. Okay. Twisting again.

You keep wetting a wrist. I get a bazillion. I got a plus a bazillion here. Come on, one good rule. Much better. Nice. That's going to be a 23. That's enough.

Oh, nice. Okay. On to the other side and landing, find yourself blinking, staring at the, um, Waller's and John Klon. Do you do anything with your turn? One and a half, three, four. Uh, yeah, I go five, six this way. Towards athletics.

Oh. And that's my turn. As I'm passing behind the Walrus. One, two point five, three. I use my reaction to twist Bent his luck, so it's next, Really? No. No.

Okay. Animal handling check. Whatever happens in there happens to that particular soul, but they do not succeed. And they flop back to the space just next to intimidation. Yeah. The other one that did succeed on its way through, was it acrobatics that I made it to go through? I think so or religion. We'll make its way towards.

2024 Toyota. There's perception, deception, persuasion are the closest to him. Medicine's gone for him. Unfortunately, I think he's going to go for medicine because of his abilities. Two, three and a half. Yep, three and a half. It's not going to be good enough. It's bops back.

To performance. Yep. Brutal. And the other one is going to continue to try religion again. Makes it through. One, two. You're gonna make it all the way up. Yeah, I'll just have him go up to...

Deception or there's also perception. I think perception for that one. He's gonna go like here? Yeah, yeah. Get right in front of Dr. Pitson. Poison, I should say. Dr. Poison, your turn. I'm gonna look at him get in front of me.

You know that entropy is the poison of existence. At me. As from my hand, there'll be a big doomsday. device is I'm gonna cast vortex warp. Okay. Oh my God. And I'm going to attempt to absolutely eat him back 90, as far as I possibly can. Basically the start line.

The start line. Great. I'm gonna try to beat him back into the start line. Okay. What do I have to do? Conjuncing throw. 16. 15. Space is twisted around him. Stop spitting on. Get you, Dr. Poison. You are supposed to suck a poison.

Yeah Nobody enjoyed that I'll walk up here and I can't get in Correct Oh because you use your action to fucking use my action Would you more or less secure to like a closer spot? I'm just pretty honest thing I got a closer spot And so that is my that is my turner

I don't think I could use my bonus action for a phone Okay, that's incredible I think the only guy who didn't go is this guy No he got zooked back this guy didn't go right Yeah Yeah, no, that's the one that tried animal handling and got bopped back. Oh, that is just the Vortex Warp guy? Is this Vortex War?

Is that mean? I thought he was doing it. No, he ran in front of me. So one of these guys, it has to be this guy. Oh, it's the guy who's on top of performance. He's gonna try to go to performance. He got Zootke back from going to medicine. Last round.

Oh, yeah. No, I thought that just happened, but that's okay. I should be doing a better job trying for this time. I'm just as a game master. It'll be him. He's gonna try for performance again. I'm gonna twist it. Remind us, chat.

And he makes sense. Oh, they're saying it's Vortex Worc guys' turn. It's Vortex Warfx-Worff's guy's turn? But how is he, how did he get in front of it? He just moved in front of him. He just moved in front of him. That's why I thought it was this guy, because he just got worked back from the medicine check. Oh yeah, he has a guy on the far right.

Did he move at all? I thought he failed last turn. Yeah, okay. Let's say it's that guy. Let's say it's intimidation guy. I'm going to keep my role and he can make it through. One and... Where would you like to go?

He's going to try animal handling on his next turn. Okay. Can you move them one to the left? Yeah, you can. Yeah, absolutely. Playing optimally over here. Glitzy? I can't.

What's a part? Acrobatics, religion, stuff. Glitzy will do acrobatics. Okay, so you can just go, you don't have to move at all. Get up here, Blitzie, would he? Acrobatics, today. It doesn't have a cataly in any way.

I don't have any cool business going. You suddenly pass through, and again, time has frozen all around you. You turn around, you see the chaos, You see somebody being vortex warped, mid-warp. It's very chaotic and strange to see as Dr. Poison uses this deadly weapon. You turned and you realize how unstable

the hallway you're staring at is. As you stare down, there are a few lit torches. It's very dark. But you can see that the tiles that are in front of you to walk across are going to require very dexterous movement. Otherwise, the ceiling might collapse upon you, at any time. All right, well, I guess it's time for some caught wheels

and I'm gonna stir cartwheeling across the platform. And I'm going to twist and I'm gonna twist. That's why we got them. And I'm gonna twist. Brutal, that's okay, keep going. You got them, spend them. You had the most starting off. I know, and I'm gonna twist again.

Oh. Nope, it doesn't work, she goes back. You're still the first one though, right? Yep. Well, the DC might be lower. I haven't ruled above seven. Are you out of twists? No, I don't know.

What? But what is it for? Acrobat or less. I think you should keep twisting until. I think the game wants my new character. Okay. I'll do one more twist. Come on, one more.

We need your Quincy. 16 plus seven. Yes! The 23. Let's fucking go! Do a cart whale and you realize that the ceiling is collapsing on you. You do another car wheel.

You realize the ceiling is just behind you. Indiana Jones style like a boulder, it's like that. But you maintain focus on your acrobatic ability. And by the time you reach the other side of this hallway, you are narrowly dodging the debris falling all around you. But you do succeed in bamphing back to the upside and back into the race. You can more or less pick whatever one you want here.

And I can, what are those options? Perception, deception, persuasion, medicine, and then animal handling is all the way at the end. But. Deception, deception. Probably deception. Persuasion than medicine. Yeah, deception or persuasion.

Either one of those parts. Either one, you can go right to deception. Yeah, I'll go deception. Okay. Jean Klein. Are these lines like big, are these like moving barriers? They represent barrier moats. If you were to try to go through,

you feel like you'd either get stuck down or fall down into some horrible lava or something. I think it would be a nightmare. I'm imagining, like, lasers. Instant death. Like a bunch of spy lasers. You don't go through the portal's instant death. Yeah.

And real quick, we got Lovers Rose, Inky Mama, and Rip a Wild for a little twist. That is just enough for a distribution right here. Oh, a distribution. A little refresh. I love a little refresh. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, Chad. Thank you, Jack. Woo. You're up. Well, I say babbo if I've told you once. I've told you a thousand times. When you get in the courtroom, you gotta stop admitting to your crimes.

That's meta knowledge. As I flip you off and catch your card. And we've drawn on it, it says, it is a get-out-of-jail-free car that is written, I didn't do it. And I can't give you a bar inspiration. Thank you. Is it D-8?

D-8. He has one of those like monopoly-style illustrations of the bar, but he's being held up by an invisible hand. He's like, I would actually like to go to the very end and see what the unrevealed squares. Oh, I'll say, I'll say, one, two, three.

Oh, you're like, you're fishing for something here. Investigation, I say. I'll say that's with me. As a cross, it's a examination. No, in fact, I've never done the investigating. I've always left that to the detectives. Oh. Insight?

I gotta figure out what's on the best down here. I mean, here's the thing that, right, is like even if your plus isn't that high, if you spike a good role, you might get... Yeah. That's investigation. Yeah, they're basically all in. All right. You made real trouble. I'll try.

Oh, it's right. I'll try. I'll try it. I'll try. I'll try. You, uh, feeling a little more hesitant, a little less confident, you, uh, jump through and into the space and land. on your feet you find yourself looking at a massive room. Oh, that's intimidation.

Let's see the first one. That's athletics. Arcana. Arcana. Slap it on the big cam here and slide up a little bit. Yeah, we don't care about that stupid guy. Yeah, that guy who's dumb. You pop into the space and you find yourself in a relatively small room, but one that is very busy with things.

very busy with things. This feels like some sort of domiciles, a place where someone lives, there's bookshelves, there's a desk, there's a number of shelves with all kinds of jars and stuff on it. And on the opposite side, you can see that there's a, on any side, there are no doors that would get you out of the space. This seems to be in a totally enclosed space.

And then looking up is when you hear it. The ceiling starts to come down, massive and unyielding in its crushing. You realize you have almost no time at all to figure out how to stop this wall from coming down. I'll say, oh fuck. I whip out a notepad and written on it, you'll see clues with a number one and nothing's filled out.

Incredible. All the evidence is in front of me. I simply need to put it together, and the case is solved. I mean, it all in attempt to investigate the room to find out how to. You start putting the clues together like a good detective.

I don't write anything. You're not writing, but your eyes are scanning, just putting and piecing these things, make an investigation check. I love escape rooms. I say, I say a great bachelor party activity. I say you had twists. All twist.

Cannibal porpoise, thank you for the twist. Thank you. Starts the next chunk here. The next distribution chunk? The next distribution chunk. All right, got worse. Hey, you can go again. Do it one more time.

One more time. One more time. The big boy. The big boy. The white now? No, it's not meant to be. Damn. You get desperate as suddenly bookshelves start

to crush and collapse. You see art on the wall. Paintings get knocked off and fall into the floor. You start to realize that you're having to duck down as you start to look behind things Could there be a lever? Could there be a button? You pull the rug back, there's nothing.

And you realize that time is out when you cramp into a position where you no longer can search the room. Said that moment I see on the bookshelf, the spine of a book that says secret recipes. And I say, oh no! Only your fingers can barely touch the binding as all of a sudden John Claude, you are crushed into nothingness. You feel the force of your body explode out,

a very unpleasant experience to be crushed to death. And then BAMP, you are pushed back to, yeah, you're pushed back right next to John Kline. Yeah, yeah. Set back in your race to survive. What do you mean right here, perhaps? Just to give you a bit more option. Yeah, yeah, I think that's fine.

The walrus. Oh, oh, I don't know what to do. Indecisive as always. Get out of my head! I guess inside, oh! One, two, three. Action! You jump into the space and you find yourself in a tavern.

Looking around in the tavern, you can see that this is patronized by all sorts of characters. There are two scholarly gentlemen over at one table debating about something. You see the bartender. You see a hooded figure in the corner smoking a long pipe you can barely see the shadowed face. You see the bards are all playing their instruments

in one corner. There's all sorts of different people enjoying this tavern night. And you realize that just a gut feeling, only one of them can show you to safety. Oh. If I have all the time in the world, I literally spend an hour doing that.

like shaking my walrus mustache. Yeah, you look at each one of them, you watch all of them attend. They seem to pay you no mind. You seem to be standing at the door. No one leaves your apartment. It seems like it's almost on repeat. This night could be endless for all you care.

And I attempt to determine who I think is the right one. Why don't you roll an inside check? I think I might. I hope the Walrus makes it. That's pretty damn good. Pretty damn good. Please DC be low enough. You can't be that.

It's got to be 20. I have a 21. I have a 21. Yeah, you're fine. 21. You start to look around and you realize that if you ask any of these people to take you through the tavern and safety,

that it would be the death of you. They pull a knife. There would be some sort of violent outcome. Except for the one in the cloak seems like a trustworthy fellow. You've still got it, Wimble. And I run up to the guy in the cloak. And he reaches out his hand and you take it confident

that you're not going to get shanked. And as you do, bam, all of a sudden as soon as your hand touches you evaporate and find yourself on the other side of this threshold. Damn. I'm going to go heat. If I end here, will I see both of these for free? Yeah.

You would see those both for free. I'm going to just, if I can basically be in there. little space here. Yeah, yeah. You're fried alive. You walk into the... I should have made real... Little gutters. That's on me.

You're good. Survival and history. Let's get this... Let's get on that. Okay. Survival and history. And if you want a perception that leftmost tile, DC-15. Oh, no. I did a... Dr. Piston!

I don't... I don't perceive. I don't perceive. I don't perceive. Oh. I go directly for athletics. They can only be one and a half. One and a half, and you pop into athletics. One and a half and you pop into athletics.

Let's see what I need if I need this. You stop yourself because for a moment you realized that you were at the top of a very, very, very tall drop. You were at the edge of a cliff. If you're picturing in Temple of Doom when they make it to the end of the rail cart, mine cart chase, and the water is like bursting on all sides and they have to sort of hug the wall,

you find yourself in that, hugging wall cliff face scenario and you realize that the exit is 20 30 maybe 40 feet over in that direction but the only way that you're gonna be able to get there is by ninja warrior hanging from one to the next and gripping hold out for as long as you need to grip that wall before you slide to a terrible plunging death well this would normally be difficult but I have a trunk that I can use as an extra hand grip Always do the three points for you.

It allows me to support an extra hundred of my own pound, which is a good amount. And I see this and I say to myself, I say out loud, because I'm just doing my thing, do my bed dark thing, I say, yeah. The path is lit, the way is clear. I only require the strength to follow it. And I do so.

Cool, it's bad ass thing to say. Thank you. Pretty good. That's like a 24. That trunk comes in handy. Oh, no, I lie, 22. You're making huge stride and you're able to. If I, if 22.

Oh, 22? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hang on my inspiration. You make huge strides as you, uh, manage to finger hang your way all from the way from the side of that, uh. I would like to see what the last portal is. Turn it.

Ow. Oh, my God. Whoa. Slight of hand, survival. Intelligence, wisdom, death. History. That is my turn, I think. I'm just gonna position myself here

because I used one and a half, three, four, five, so I can go any way I need to. I think I'm good, that's my turn. Okay. And I still have my inspiration, thank God. I think John Klaude may have saved my life. All right. I'm pretty sure that this is animal handling guy.

So let's, yeah, yeah, I'm doing one, two, three. Is that over? So animal handling guy, he's gonna endeavor to get through. Animal handling. He fell, he gets popped back to intimidation. Sorry. My dad. Damn it!

You hear some cursing. This guy's performance. Performance. He succeeds. He bouts forward. And then where you like to go? Animal handling, medicine, persuasion, deception. Medicine.

You just go straight forward. Lucky for that guy. Then this guy will go after Dr. Poison. Okay. She's gonna go after you. You do get to go first. My turn. Yep.

Uh, I am going to, I'm just gonna keep, I'm gonna just keep walking forward all the way to the end. Uh, everyone has a lot of health. That's fine. Oh, the tap in here. It's bad to be good, as I'm gonna go to the perception door. Perception door?

Yes, perceptic. You pop in and you realize, this feels extremely familiar, There's a, it's almost like you're back in one of your laboratories or workshops. Oh. But it's been armed. You know that a wrong step here would cause perhaps poison gas to fill and flood the case. I love poison. As much as you love poison, you know that you need to make the other end of this workshop before you escape.

So long as you can perceive the correct tiles to walk on. I want action. And I want to proceed. Your eyeballs pop out of their sockets. No, go ahead and roll up a present. You never didn't have that. You fuck. Never didn't have it.

23. You hop over here and then looking if this seems safe, hop over here. And by a few more hops and a few more steps you are able to make it to the other threshold. That's it. And this one is going to run up and endeavor to religion. I'm going to twist. Makes it through. Glitzy.

Glitzy is going to go up to, I think it's deception. Deception's right, yeah. This one's square. So what are the other ones? Just make sure. Deception, perception, perception, persuasion. Yeah, so deception. Perception, deception, persuasion, medicine.

There'll be deception again. And you're already there. You're using your action to jump through and all of a sudden, poof, you find yourself in the same scenario that you recall. And the same statute looks at you and goes, Back again. Oh shit, I didn't mean to end up in here again.

Oh! You get a reception check. Whoa! Another 20. It's dropped, I think. Oh, it's dirty 20? Yeah, dirty 20. That succeeds.

Oh, you got me, and all of a sudden, you've got a flame alive and burned into smithereens. You instead passed through the threshold. And I'm gonna stand right in front of Arcana. Ooh. I will make my way back to persuasion. Okay. Because I ain't going through whatever the other one is.

And then try again. That's the judge one. Yep. You pop back and you find yourself standing in front of the same judge, the same court. Oh, hey, you're on. It's unrelated. Don't forget to call.

27. I won't. Go on. I don't know why you're back here. Just passing through. Just passing through. I'm just passing through. You bought through and you were able to cut the threshold.

Glitzy with that bombastic, bad nature, you're gonna need a little supporting in the courtroom. Take this. Just know that it does start my retainer. I tossing bar in a form of business card. Jean-Claude-Claude-Laclac-Lor-Lor-at-your-service. I'll put this in my fireproof wall and I just stick it in my pocket.

Enjoy a D8. Can you walk back up? Give me speed to walk up. I can't imagine. Would you start? I was like, oh, you were, yeah, you were, yeah, you were,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we popped you on this side. No, that guy was here, I was here, so I went five, ten, you could probably move. You got it on the square. I mean, I'd be trying to go towards athletics, I guess, is. You got it, you got it.

Yeah. Wait wait wait, wait. He was he... Was he here? He was here. This guy. That was me. That's... That's... That's...to poison. He went to Arcana. No, don't go there. No, no, no, no, stop! Go, just wait to the other square! Can I say that?

I mean, either way, he's popping out here. I try to get John Claude to stay here. But it's up to you. If I would... Well, if I could... If I can get that sense from the wall, that's here. Oh, dear God. Well, what is he trying to say? I say, what is...

What could it mean? What exactly is he saying over there across that there barrier? You hear very faint voice in the Walrus. It seems concerning. Do you pause and you hear this? It's a good question. If you're working with his word to talk. Maybe our Roy?

Perception. Perception check? It's not a question of whether you hear. You do hear it. It's a question of whether you heed his warning. The walrus I trust with my dear home live. I'll stop right here on this is way. You are as foolish as you look, Mr. Chicken Man.

Well, that means not foolish at all, Dr. Kissin. It's pronounced poison. I say none in the language that I speak, and I speak them all. You've done it now. And that's about six seconds. The walrus. I want action. Until you suffer some.

Do I get this, did I see VortexWarp go through these walls? Like they're not like anti-magic walls? Yeah, the spell successfully warped him. But that's because I wasn't trying to use teleportation in an advantageous way so much as a disadvantageous way. So I will walk up to the survival door here. But before I go through, I will turn and you will see my crown of never melting ice start to glow with this blue magic and some snow will start to fall.

and I will use... I will... I will... I will... I will quick... I will use my sorcery points to quicken a spell. Sorcers actually are incredible in this. Yep.

And as a bonus action... I'll take my hand up! Because they dashed the bonus action. Damn. Yeah. Rogen sorcerer are. They're still having to be able to go through the porous. They're pissing!

We'll kill the dinosaurs! Amiti-eat-eus! It's the Nuis! Chewings! And the code, ice is gonna explode. And I wanna point it this way, that's 30 feet, it should get this guy to, go basically this one. And I wanna get these two guys,

and they need to make a, I'm casting Rhymes Binding Ice. Is it a con save DC-16. Oh, that's probably not good enough. No. It's 16. is enough, I believe. I'm gonna use my reaction. Oh, yeah.

I automatically fail. Yeah. I got a natural 19, so the other guy's fine. I got you, Elvis. So either way, we are going to take 3D8 cold damage. And for Dr. Pisson, he is basically trapped in ice. His movement is zero until he uses an action to, uh, oh no!

That's a clear-out! It's to use his action! Two turns. Holy shit! Or someone else could use their action, if anyone care. Wow. Who could lift them up?

You're always blocked. What I say in the kitchen room, we call that freezer-hurt. 8, 9, 10, 11. You take 12 damage. You take 12 damage. No, no, no, not you. Dr. Poyser. Dr. Poison takes 12.

That's cold. That's cold. Ice school. What did the guards say in that movie when they, like, the two guards look, ugh, it's another day. I will use my action to go through the survival door. I think that was a bonus action.

That was a bonus action. He quickened it. I love, oh, that's gross. Finally, a sorcerer pays off. Yay, yeah. My long rest didn't take effect. You find yourself suddenly in a frozen time plane of existence, a strange, not

room, you feel like you're actually in the top of the world, because looking all around you is cold blue sky. You're on top of a mountain. You can see the endless mountains escapes in all directions. You can see that you're well, well, well above the cloud line itself. There seems to be no vegetation you realize that you're being hit with freezing cold. And the sky starts to darken as all of a sudden you see the portal. It's but 100 feet in this direction.

You need only to go from here to there, but the storm that blows in, the wind that hits you, you have to suddenly bundle and force yourself, push yourself to survive to get from one point to the other. Did you say freezing cold? Yes. I'm resistant to them. It seems to ignore your resistance.

I'm just gonna trudge forward. You are resistance is magically. Make a survival check. Oh, golden. Do we think that's golden? I don't know what it was. 17 plus. I think you'd get plus three, you're good.

Five. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, 22. I do think you're good. It's hard by the time you get to the end of that 100 feet. It's not good. You push through the other side and you find yourself, bam, back into the warmth and the heat of the race.

Adrenaline still pumping as you were able to avoid freezing to death at the top of that Strange Mountain. Three, four, five, six. Nice. Well done. I'm over the line. What's the barster? One, two and a half.

I go for sleight of hand. Slight of hand. You pop into a place and you realize that you're staring at the most complicated walk that you could possibly imagine. It is a, on the front of a door, there is but one keyhole. All you would need to do is use the available thieves tools to tinker all the tumblers in exactly the right order. and then push the doors open.

Knowing that this is not a trial, that Babar B. Babbar can force his way through. He grabs the thieves' tools off of the table, sits down in front of his lot, takes a deep breath, and steadies his trunk as it goes to work on the walk. That's very funny. It feels very cool. You feel like you have all the time in the world.

Time is frozen around you. You actually can see the fronels. freezing, doctor, poison, you can see your other companions all running and freezing forward. I'm going to use one twist of fate. I know, I'm going to see what this ends up being. Crushed it. I'm going to use my inspiration on the 18, because I only have a plus two, so I rolled a dirty 20, and that's going to give me a 27, so I'm going through.

You tinker and you are able to hear a click. and you pushed the door and you were almost amazed that you were able to do it, but it was through almost your determination. I actually, after spending a long time on this, I feel some of the spools land into place and some of the different security pins land where they need to. And I realize I'm close, but I can't quite get there,

even though I think that everything's in shape. And I remember Jean-Claude's business card, and I take it out of my pocket, I formed it into a shim, and I bump the rest of the lock, and jamming it in there and pop it open. That's how it's done. as I get through. So two and a half, I pop on the other side,

three and a half, four and a half, five and a half. I am just shy across the fish line. That's my turn though. Good turn. Okay, what is this guy who's going through, not performance, what is the, this? This is intimidation. Blow's through it, runs up the animal handling.

This guy, medicine. Madison. Absolutely wrecks it, runs forward. Inside Arcana are the closest investigation's kind of close. Let's give him an investigation. So he'll move over there, and then it's Dr. Boisyn's turn. You are frozen. How does that work?

So for a minute, you have ice around your legs, and so your speed is zero, unless you use your action to clear it. But I don't know if that would prevent you from, like, I guess I don't know if you're at one of the close enough to use your action to activate it. one of the doors? I don't know. You'll look at Glitzy who gave me bad luck.

And I'll say, you did this to me, you pesky, pixie. I'm a fairy, actually. Oh, my weakness, I hate being corrected. My second biggest weakness that is,

I look around nervously. Extrapea. I guess more takes more vulgarcy. Oh no. Shit. Wow. Constitution saving third. DC's only 16.

17. 17. That's my action. Jesus. This guy's evil. So you're still stuck. Yeah, you stop. Yeah, you're frozen in Iceland can't go anywhere.

My bonus action. Oh no. two weapon fighting. Oh, you. Oh, well, I suppose every rose has its thorns. Pretty good. Pretty good. And that's it?

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Perception. Wasn't in the card for him. Bops back to religion. All right, Glitzy, top of the round. Yeah, I'm gonna pop into Rakhana. I know I'm from the Bay Wild.

I know a thing of two about magic. There's also investigation. No. You're actioning. Time's frozen around you. You narrowly don'tge this vortex warp blast, and you duck down and suddenly you find yourself with all the time in the world,

or so it seems. For right in front of you on a pedestal, there's a floating almost like orb, and you realize that it's going to require you to sort of stabilize its magical energies or it could blow up at any second. As much as you like explosions, it would be unpleasant and almost certainly deadly.

Oh, my God. Always wanted to complete a Rubik's Cube before. And I'm going to start playing with it and see if I can sit down. Making our contract. I'm gonna use my thing. And you have inspiration, don't forget. I know.

I'm gonna use, I have a feature to roll advantage on one thing. This is not touchscreen. This is not touchscreen. God damn it, I'm so hard. You feel it all right? I'm using tides of chaos to avoid a hair. There's another one.

Please. Well, you roll pretty well. I'm literally rolling ones and twos. Sometimes the dice decides. Sometimes I decide. So did I give you another one? Very true.

Whatever, just in case. This is for this one. This is for this one. There we go. 20. You are sweating because it's getting unstable, so much so that it's actually hard to hold. It's moving by its own gravitic shifts.

It almost slips out of your hand a few times. You have to grab it and wrestle it back down, but you start to put together those symbols, those war wards, and all of a sudden click, it calms itself and it brightens. And instead of being hit with an explosion, you are hit with illuminating light when it dims you are on the other side,

back into the race. Perfect. And then I'm gonna move straight up in front of Slip Hand. He's beating. I'm gonna go if I can get away from me. Fowl.

I'll say fuck yourself. You foul, fuck. You stupid, not a doctor. I say, I say. My... Say, Second biggest weakness. I thought your second biggest weakness was pixies and being corrected.

Oh, thank goodness you haven't discovered my first biggest weakness. That makes you a sense? I don't know. I will tempt the athletic door. Okay, you pop in. You got the shit! You suddenly find yourself, whoa, almost about to fall off. When you realize that there is a path requiring the only your fingertips to cross.

I re-roll it. Okay. Oh, one more re-roll. I have one left. Well, you gotta do it. Oh, man. You gotta be the- What did you get? You just gotta get through the natural one.

A natural one and a seven. Three and then-and-a-half-one. You just gotta get through this gate and like hopefully on the other side that'll be something better for you. Like slight a hand's got me decent. A little better. Ooh, baby! Okay, okay. Okay.

Okay. Twenty-one. You've nailed it. You fucking go. You slip a few times, and there are a few times where you're hanging off of the edge, and you realize that it almost feels like your wings are weighted. You would not, yeah, yeah.

It's between every and hold instead of moving, I go, there's a moment where you do actually, like, slip, and you drop like five feet, and it takes a huge amount of effort for you. and finally get back up in the wet, black, back in the other jumping advantage of because of it. Yeah, exactly. But you make it to the other side successful, like. I know you could do it!

And I'll just move. Oh, thank you, you, you've got players. And I will also offer the walrus a business car. No, forget, Bonnusana. Oh, we've already passed the line. Oh, the son, my mom has got the walrus. Oh, I'm taking it back. Who's the cautionary?

Blixie! Blixie! Please, have you taken another business card? Oh, thank you so much. I was able to use your business card to finally complete a Rubik's Q! Oh, well, I've never had that before. Most people just tear them up, but, uh, well, that's excellent. Walrus. It's my turn. You are, uh, safe at the least. You are the Walrus. Presumably I can still... I exactly. You passed the finish line.

You have been here. You realize that there's a barrier. You have to go out of a barrier. No, listen, if you're s'm gonna, my first biggest weakness. Even a bigger weakness than my first, my ultimate weakness. Bar.

I'm out. Chad's asking for John Claw's business cards to be added to the merch. I can't take this shit out of that. A pack of one thousand business John Claude Law Firm, you should do John Claude Law Firm, like, notepad. So, post-it, that's illegal, letterhead. Yeah, we gotta have letterhead.

And you should do a Post-It notepad that are the business cards, so you can take a little bit. Oh, jeez. Perfect. I, I, branded fountain pens. I take five steps, I take five feet moving forward. Before I cross the finish line, I look back over my shoulder and Dr. Pissom. And I utter one word to him. I command him to halt.

Okay. So you have to pass a wisdom saving throw, wisdom 15, and if you fail, you have to spend your turn taking no action, halting. Oh. What the fuck. Paltz! And you are overcome, if you didn't get a 15,

you are overcome by the magic of the command, and you must spend your turn, the target takes, It doesn't move and takes no actions. Wait, what's the saving through him? Wisdom 15. Wisdom plus eight. Then you meet it. I'm going to use.

Plus one. Two, eight. Oh, I thought you had plus eight. Holy shit. It was caught. I would have succeeded. Okay, okay. Then you are halted for your next turn.

And I use the rest of my movement to pass to the barrier and reach safety. You successfully make it and you turn and you realize that all you can do is watch. And as I cross the barrier, I walk up to the Walrus, and I give him a high five. We've got it. What is the next challenge for the guy

who's the hardest to head here? Investigation. Smashes it. And. So you get to history or survival. Probably if he's got enough movement, he gets a sleight of hand. Okay.

You can definitely make it there. And the next one, animal handling. Not even close. And Dr. Poison. Like he makes it not even close? Yeah, he does not make it. He took back. He gets popped back.

Does Holt mean I take no action at all? Yes. Oh. The target doesn't move and takes no actions. What are you going to do? Toss me an apple? Oh, it's a dream. That's a nightmare.

What does it mean? An apple a day keeps the dog. Oh, that's so stupid. This is so stupid. With a natural 19, this one moves up, and four. Perception or deception? Perception.

Boomy, you're a looking genius. You're a mad genius. Glit feet. Oh, gosh. You're up. I think I have slate of hands. I am friends with the walrus, and he's kind of like Santa. So I'm familiar with slates.

So I'm gonna go in there. Do it. I do. Then you do it. Can someone move her into side of Hantown? Yeah, she's here. She's already in. The last complicated light lock you've ever seen and a fresh set of thieves tool live before you.

Okay. You can do this. I keep natural. You're there. And I will get right in front of the finish line. And I'll turn around and I'll look at Dr. Pisson, who's not able to catch his apple. He's just held and frozen.

Apple strikes him in the face. And I'll look at him and I'll say, I told you, I was a fairy and anyone who fucks with my friend with the walrus fucks with me and I flip him off and look across the. Nice. All right, so as long as Jean Claude doesn't fuck this up and this guy like squeaks in, we're golden.

Yep, yep. All right, John Claude. Do you need to us left? As long as you don't fuck up. He's got no twist left. Well, I say, friendo, you look like you're a need of legal service, I don't know if I'm gonna make it here, so take a card. And I toss him a business card.

Oh, thanks. You could have given this to yourself. I really appreciate that. I can, I looked at that. What arrives in his hand is actually a Polaroid of him and a compromising family. With a scantily clad clearly lady that you would find in wherever he is from.

Memories. And that's pretty good. Evidence. of Crimes most foul. It's a chickenericotra. Oh, foul. Yeah, there you go. That's very funny.

And, that's my bonus action. When he rolls next, he has to subtract a D8 for whatever. And that's nice. Amazing. Nice. You're going to put it. That's that fuck up. Oh, you're .

Yeah, no, he's just pretty much. Oh, crime. You just got a twist. We got four more, right? Oh, my God. Two thousand. Thank you, it's exactly not. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's true. It is, miss. Three more on top of the... I kiss it, but this is a doctor poise in his pole.

And then you saw three more in the hopper? Three more in the hopper. Thanks, so Fumkin Wimmynd, you, 500. Thank you. So that's first. That's 1,300. They need it. So we have four in the, wait.

1300 plus the five? So that's just three. Two thousand got us to the distribution. Oh, so now we're at eight. We're 200 away from the next one. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay. Well, let's see if these chicken wings still got it.

And I'll go into the slide of hand door. Elaborate lock. Thieves tools. All the time in the world. Well, uh-oh. That's pretty fucking good. What's your plus? Gotta be high.

Three, four. Yep. Oh, 22. 22. You continue to finagle and Jimmy the lock until finally you find a rolled up business card just on the floor and you realize that you can use it perfectly as a shim and unlock the door with one final lotion.

And then you pass through the door unharmed. That's too bad. No, you know. Because you spent no going through. It's five, ten, fifty, twenty, twenty-five. You were exactly enough to make it through. Yeah. You were here. Oh.

You're good. Yeah. All right. Oh! Oh, my Thank you. That's another six. That's another thank you, Slots. You can read that.

And you're so much. Maven with a twist. Oh, I thought you guys were reacting to the comic. So Sloth says, little known villain's attack. The Walrus and Dr. Poison's hatred started when one of them cheated in a game of mini golf. Back in Villain University, they each blame the other. To this day, no one knows who cheated or if anyone actually did.

That's true. It's canon now! It's canon now! Oh shit! Very funny! All right, that's it. That's the one that's farthest ahead. Oh, that's it.

That's it. That fucking game. Yeah. Are you passing out our twists? Oh. You should do that. Dr. Poison, you watch as the others around you begin to ignite and disintegrate

and be pulled apart by the magic all of a sudden, at the moment the John Quad passes the threshold, the space inside of you, all of the challenge spheres burst away into flames, and you have but your last thought and your last word before life is taken from you. Truly, this was an unskiny ball. It's like that scene in Turny Inner 2,

where the nook goes off, and all of a sudden, Doctor Poison is relasted in the neck. Only this left in his place a shiny red apple. Oh, that's a good. See you in half, this boy. Holding an apple. My first tweet is fuck. You hear, you don't hear this,

but in shadowy room, shadowy figures, shadowy faces all stared down. Clients are remarking about the terrific game, the race that they just witnessed, as deadly as it was for some, They've seen all of these different races happen with the different teams that had been assembled, all five of them.

Having just finished watching yours, they begin to murmur. Glitzy all the way, baby. Let's go Glitzy. Fuck him up, girl. Jean-Claude lives. Yes, Jean-Claude, I'm sobbing, I'm so happy right now. The emotional walrus makes me tired. Someone finish him.

Honestly, the walrus was the most intimidating so far. The walrus has heart, which is not commonly seen in these events. It is refreshing, and he has my support. While I don't approve of his motives, I find Babar's drive and spirit rather inspirational. Babar is absolutely the best. Ah, Babar, the resilient Loxidon. It seems my choice was wise. His strength proves a most formidable force in this deadly dance. Yes, Babar has proved to be very entertaining. Please, find out of the first. Finalize your wagers for the next game and enjoy a short break before we reconvene.

You find yourselves on the other side of the finish line watching in horror as everyone is spaghettified inside of the arena, the race that you just watched. Watch Dr. Poison, and for a moment you realize that you can hear announcers speaking, Ah, rest in piss, Dr. Poison. And, uh... Brut, Bozo.

Get him. You can't say this. Oh, I guess we can say whatever we want. Cheers! And you hear the clinking of glass, and then you're led through the doors. And, again, the Euclidean nature of the space being what it is, you walked through doors hundreds of feet away into this arena,

but going through these same doors walks you right back into the dormitory, these magical portals being what they are, seem to always take you where you need to be led by the clients, by whoever is running this entire strange game. they call the Cuddlefish sweepstakes, and you find yourself in a space, just like the dormitory that you've come to know, with 20 fewer contestants, Dr. Poison,

and three nameless NPCs among them. You know, I said it yesterday, well, I guess this morning, before all that happened, we really should have just killed him before the gangs. Well, this works, because he died anyway. Yeah, that's fair. There could have been someone more capable in his place. Exactly right.

Hands in team. Well, I say good showing everybody. I'm glad we all made it. Beb Ravar attentively puts us a hand in. You can tell you's hesitation. Our catchphrase goes. Oh, no, no. When did we establish that?

When I was in that yellow contraption that was spinning off in the other world? You were spending time with some pixies. I'm seeing a running theme here. Anyway, we are, I just want to bring it to everybody's attention here that that was a game where only four people won. And I think we're getting to the time, but we have to accept that as much as I love all of you guys as friends, Glitsey looks out for Glitzy. So, May felt her breast in peace, but when the fireballs rain from high, there's nothing I can do about it.

And I'm gonna do what I gotta do to survive. Glitzie is right. She took the words right out of my mouth. The last two games, like she said, only had four survivors each. It will not surprise me, nor should it surprise anyone, if the next game in beyond only allows for two, or perhaps only one, winner, for flight. We have formed an unlikely bond to the four of us, but just know that I will not allow anyone to stand in the way of my goals.

Yeah, I mean, as long as long as, as we're in a game where four of us can win, I will do what I can to protect you guys. The moment we get to a point where only three of us can win or it's only a one person winning game, the stakes change a little bit, you know? And so I do think we should maybe rank each other on who we want to keep alive the most so that we can all gang up on the weakling and make sure that they die first. And sorry, John Claude, I do think that's probably you, buddy. Oh, say, that's ridiculous. The week I was member of the week.

I can't take that even a little bit the way I'm causing our business cars. I say, I say eloquence always, Jean-Claude. Oh, no, Jean-Loup! Well, well, I didn't know they let two-bit lawyers into this sort of competition. Well, you should have because you're here! Well, no, I gave up my law practice in high school, if you recall. And I thought, you know, my brother, Jean. Claude is a despicable lawyer, and I never had the makings of a law. I was new and always the charismatic one,

so I thought what is an effrofission that is truly more vile, truly more necessary, and truly more despicable. So I became an accountant. Oh! Oh! Ah yes, I was in a top security prison with you the same. I never found out what happened to you after you took that case to represent this. pathetic craving of an elephant man. Well, yes, I say they found me out for fabricating evidence

and murdering 20 people and we, and they had us in a top, top secret security clearance of prison. That's Child's play, John Claude. I gotta say you are no villain, not. Our very truly evil father would be not very proud, as deep fried and finger-licking good as he was. I'm Sean Claude. Oh, well, he has.

Yes, Ben, you glitzy. Yeah, me, glitzy. Do we like your brother or do we not like your brother? The despicable fiend, no, we don't like him at all. Well, I'm on for numbers, but not much else. So, also, do we kill your brother if we have the opportunity to, or no? I couldn't condone killing my brother

in the next three minutes. And once the clock strikes four minutes from now, we kill them dead. It is true that what they say, that kinslayers are cursed in the eyes of God and man, but I will let you decide if I am truly despicable. I was in that top secret security prison for committing all three taboos of alchemy as a transmutation wizard that I am. The third worst, I transmuted metal into gold.

The second worst taboo, I attempted humanoid transmuted, and the third taboo, the worst of all the taboos of alchemy, I broke, do not act against the government. So when the taxman coming, they rounded up me and all my clients. Cut to a dark room where alchemy has clearly just been performed. Transplantation magic, a horrifying beast looks up at John Luke. John Luke hurt. I'll say we can rub that off We can write that off

John Claude I have done terrible unforgivable things The people in this room Are some of the most despicable Inaventress But an accountant I should splatter his brains

Across the floor now You say absolutely right I encourage you to do so You have to wait too much more minutes, though. I begin to heft my giant mall. I say, Mr. Bapar, if you splatter these brains all over the walls, it'll take the custodian hours and days to clean it all up on account of its size.

My blood has not boiled with the fury of a thousand bureaucrats until now. What I'll say is, after this, this next challenge, you're going to be so destroyed, so weak and worthless, your dead brother can claim you as a dependent. John Lewis, don't listen to him, bad boy, I say, I say, I walk up to my get within an inch of John Luke's face and I say, Sean Mook, you'd better hope the next game finishes you off quickly or painlessly, because if it comes down to me, you're going to beg for mercy. And I'll look right back at him, and I'll say, bad bar, be bad bar,

I went up against the IRS. You think I'm afraid of you? Tensions are high. And it's not just between the five of you. It's getting to know each other, realizing that you are maybe talking to friend, but also foe, certainly. In the next few games,

you may be forced to kill each other or at least outdo each other in the performance of these Cuddlefish sweepstakes. and a fight breaks out across the dormitory room and you hear smashing, crashing, you see magic going off. There's an explosion of fire, but before you can blink, the flight is over, the fight is over, and two bodies crumble to the ground,

and above them stands a very ferocious halfling. Clearly, the victor of this fight and looks down hotly at the two dead bodies, spits and then goes and finds the egg. Salmon. I was watching him in the tug of war, and he thinks just because he's so mighty and small that he's better than everybody else, and I hate him. Should we just try to kill everybody else and get out of here?

Yeah, but if we do that, then it's down to just the four of us. And then John Claude's dead brother. Look, we don't have to do this. You don't have to play by the rules. If we can just get out, we don't have to be gods. We can just go on to doing our various walrus theme crows. rhymes. That is where you are wrong. Yeah, no, I think you're wrong there.

Because the thing is, I only had 30 more days left in the prison before I was a free woman. I came in here wanting to become a pop star of the stars. Yeah, I'll say you really did not make the right choice. That was a large mistake in retrospect. I've thought about it a lot since the first game where I realized that death truly was on the line, and I realized that maybe leaving prison as a free woman and just starting up my own yarn shop where I could sell yawn by the skein

and teach people how to make booties would have been much better than all of this. But I'm here now, so I'm gonna keep letting things on fire killing a bunch of other people and hopefully ascend to what is rightfully mine, fame and infamy. Well, I suppose with a name like Glitzer, you just had to get it in lights. Couldn't be wasting it

way making yawn in some yawn shop. I'm also hoping that with a lot of fame, I can finally explain to people that the bang isn't quite what it sounds like, and it's more about bombs than anything else. What else would it be? You're all guided away from it. I'll say, well, I guess all of my companions and clients

all got horribly murdered in other games, so I'll guess a tag along with you for the amusement. You know what they say, The family that flocks together dies together. And you're all directed to join together in groups of six. Now that there are only 18 remaining, three teams are put together and guided through separate doors. Just without prompting, very silently, the halfling walks up and finishes an egg salad sandwich with a couple bites and sort of... You have some egg on your face.

Is that the last one? You're going to have egg on your face when we are through with this next game. Okay. Why are you trying to kiss me or something? Because that one, I would not be okay. That wouldn't be acceptable to me. We made that.

And I don't find myself attracted to you in any way. And I don't know why you would bring that in front of my friends. If you want to, I'm not going to stop you. You're a very beautiful fairy. Why are you, I, okay, okay, we can't. What is your name? My name is Gorim. I'm sorry, what?

Gorim. Gorim, okay. Yeah, they call me the bang, and has nothing to do with bombs. I mean, it has everything to do with bombs. I am not sure I believe you, Gorham Stone fist. Oh God, I shake, he'll shake his hand.

Because his hand feels like warm marble, the strength of it underneath your palm, and he pulls away, well, are we ready to do this? Yeah. I say, I say, boy, if you would, an investment, you'd be short-term. Well, I say, I say, that was pretty fucking funny. Are you making fun of my height?

I say, I say, that's what I said, that I fucking stuck. Well, I said, you're telling this is all back next if you hadn't got that one. It works on a multiple. I've got to say your cash is quite liquid, my friend. Take it up on you on the field of play, and he pushes past you and walks in through the door. and you're all led to an arena, another arena. And I'm gonna ask you to clean the space so that we can create the next area.

Hey, Freebird, all these years, you never introduced me to your brother? Well, I mean, yeah, really much. No, absolutely not, I say, I say. I hate the scoundrel, though it's quite funny sometimes. We called him Freibird back in the guild, because his clients always got acquitted. That's very funny.

Well, I mean, is all he does tax-related jokes? No, he also does tax-related crimes. Exactly right. Fair point. In my supervillain, I was called the white collar. That is actually incredible. I was born to play. I never heard so much tax related.

Well, I say, I say, just don't let him do yours because he always signs his name at the end. It's his fatal flaw. That's why he never gets away with it. Oh, we're going to draw the map here. Let's look at this. I say, I say, oh, here we go. Another batter royale?

Oh, fuck. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crookedmoon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragon Fifth Edition.

And don't forget to snag all the extra good. like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. So we've all been split up? Yes, you walk through and all of a sudden blinking, you realize that you're all standing on other side on platforms, leading to what is an impossibly far drop. You can even see the bottom of this huge, airy space. And as you are staring out, you realize there is, um, uh, um, uh, uh, uh, Nothing above or below. It just seems to be this massively deep,

casmic shaft almost. You could fall forever and perhaps not see the bottom of this thing. And all of a sudden, in front of you, each of the tiles here, each of these many different tiles, light seems to shift and shimmer, and these panels sort of pop into existence and start to float and hover there.

in the air, and then the next one floats and hovers next to it, and then two more spread out. And before long, the entire field of play has been covered in these floating panels. And it becomes obvious to all six of you that you could stand on one of these for a short time before it failed and broke, perhaps like glass or like magic. And a voice rings out.

Go to read. Six enter. Only three will leave. T. Means he's using the wrong haircut. What did he say? Only six will leave? Yes, that's, no, he said three.

Three will leave. Presumably when they walk across these magical tiles, they're only going to only be so many. They're going to start disappearing very rapidly. They'll have to keep moving around and then perhaps strategically corner each other or otherwise fall to their death. Oh, that's terrifying. Do you think that they can affect the tiles in other ways?

Probably. If it were me, I'd find ways to destabilize the arena as quickly as possible so that others fall through before I do. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. You know, you're surprisingly good at this, Verrett. Yeah, I was in the Cuddlefish sleepsticks once. And let's roll for initiative. Oh, shit.

Fuck. This is not good. Oh, that's fucking go. I'm very good. I'll say, I'm using one of my twists. Fuck, I got the same roll as a three. Correct, so that we can... Oh, yeah, I'll use a twist as well.

Sorry. Are you actually using the wrong Ery Coco? Yeah. So you should have had 30 feet the whole time. Yeah. It's fine. I don't think it fucked you that hard. You're still alive. He's still alive, yeah.

And you got an entire free session. Now, I've just, I've sent it in my final four. I say, could you quickly summarize the game? I was distracted by looking at the character sheet. Well, I say also if you wouldn't mind summarizing the game for me as well, I was distracted looking at the character sheet. That's my pleasure.

So you each need to probably have something along these lines. As you make your way across, here's how I would do it. As you make your way across the field of play, You can try to discourage, hurt, or buff or help any of the additional other players that are inside. Once you cross this threshold, you will be in here and you are trapped. You might fall because anytime you walk on a tile, you should mark it. And at the end of your turn, any tiles that you've marked off, I'm sorry, the end of your next turn.

At the end of your next turn, any tiles that you've walked on will be X off. That's essentially it. is filling these space as quickly as possible and try it enough. So here's what we'll do. When you step on something, we'll create a dot at the end of your next turn, your dots turn to axes. Yeah, cool.

Yeah, a dot is still something you can walk on, and a cross-off is something that you can no longer walk on. It's just air. Now you can jump from tile to tile. Any valid terrain still is something that you could land on. Do I feel like I would have, for like, things that would have taken a minute

or so to cast. Would I have been preparing or just totally fresh for this competition? Um, I would say that there's the announcement time, there's sort of time for everyone to assess, there's been a time for the voice to describe the rules. With just one minute, you'd be able to pull something off. Okay. And I would grant any of you that same minute, should you want to do something in preparation before the initiative begins. Take a moment. This one's gonna get ugly. Yep. That's all I can say. And did everyone roll for initiative? Yep.

15 to 25? 22. Nice. 19. I got a 19 as well. Roll off. Roll off. 13.

A 10. Okay. 10 to 15. I got an 11. John Luke? Oh, John Luke. John Luke. Initiative.

Oh, John Luke, I got a, that'll be a... An eight. I say, I say. Nope, I'm on the moment. There's ribs and shrimp. Walrus, you are up, as they said. You feel the wall behind you almost force you out into the field and you realize standing on the surface

of this platform. They're very thin grooves, gaps between the platforms, but it doesn't look like anything could squeeze between them. It's solid ground, but they already, the light is almost dimming and shrinking, having been touched just. just once, you know that you have to keep moving very quick plan. Meaning, do I think that I could use my movement and just go one square and then just stay there?

The tiles that you touch will disappear at the end of your next turn. Okay, so I could just go one square by one square every single round. Yes, I'll jump down. One, two, one, two, three, four, five, six. I just run straight out here. I don't know what kind of strategy.

I'm with you, the walrus, but some of us are gonna die. Well, I'm with you too, but definitely. We're not all making it out of this one. I'm not gonna go against you, but I'm gonna be all for myself. Let me see the range of my spells here. Jean-Claude. We didn't get any kind of rest in between the...

No, just a short rest, I guess, technically. Yeah, technically it would have been a short rest. Not long, though. Is he within 120 feet of me? Probably. Or sorry, 60 feet? That's a little farther. 12 squares.

So one and a half, three, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Sounds out of range. If you have extra movement, use it. So instead, I'll go here first. Sorry, I've never made you more. If you need to remove Pips, then we'll do. I got it. You got it, thank you.

Thank you for being my forward-guess. The game master. And by that, I guess I can't be the game master, the rule master. Yeah. The game state keeper. The field master. I will take my, do I have a stepter?

I'll point it at Jean-Luc and cast Ray of Frost with my action. And then I will finish my movement. I say, I say, what did you do, boy? Poor Andy. It's all good. It's gonna be, this one could be a long one. Oh, it's a spell attack.

I say not when I'm about to do what I'm about to do. There you, those are not. 25 to hit? Damn. That hits. I say, I say that hits. If it makes you feel better, I'll use those so we can mark them off and that way you're not to worry about.

16 points of cold damage and your speed is reduced by 10. Damn. Don't sell on your next turn. I'll say, I'll say do you want to do that, because on account of I cast my client that was the one of my ultimate alchemical taboos and cast phantom steed as I'll clap my hands and place them on the ground

as a large transmutation circle and from beneath me you'll hear right off, right off. That's right brother, that's right brother. I say I can create comments with the wave of a hand And a horse, human, like, dog hybrid appears beneath me. As I get ready to ride. Yikes. I say, I say.

How much name is 12? Was it 12? I think it was 12, right? Plus 5? I think it was more than that. No, it wasn't. Chow will tell us how is there was chat. No, it was 12.

It was 12. I'm pretty sure it was 12. I remember it was 12 as well. John Claude, you're up. Well, I say, I say, and that's bur. brand new. That's you, right? That's brother.

Yes. Yeah. All right, I will go here and then 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, go here. And I will shout out to that guy. Gorham here to you. Gorham? Well, I say, I say, Jean-Claude says, take one step forward and stop.

I cast suggestion. That's a fucking amazing. There are some spells in this that are extremely powerful. What is the, uh, is uh, is uh, is um, is uh, is certain or maybe it's just. Is it charisma? I can't remember. It is a.

Wisdom saving throne. Yeah, Wisdom 16. So many. Wisdom 16. Uh, that's a 14. I'm gonna use a twist of dread. Oh, I don't do it. Nope. He fails.

So he takes one step forward? Yep. And then he just stops. Well, on his turn. Oh, sorry, okay. Oh, that's interesting, yeah. Yeah, on his turn. That's it. That lasts for eight hours.

As long as you don't know his concentration. You're not moving? I moved. I moved. Oh, I'm sorry. You have to have it. So now, I should be. The suggestion I can't save against again.

Correct. That's just eight hours. Unless somebody like, you know, Not the concentration. That's the only way to stop it. Theoretically, well, I don't know that you, like, lose your action or anything, but you're, you would be compelled to... Presumably take on the persona of a wrestler. Okay.

And you would be compelled to stand it. Take one step and then... One step forward and stop. And he can't repeat that. You can't go one step and then stop and then one step and then one step in the... Correct. I suppose that's up to you, but it was not my intention. But...

He's test. He's toast. Unless he has a way to break concentration. My intention was for him to take one step, like just dig one step and then stop. Okay. Okay. But you are the almighty king of the world. That's mean, but that's fine.

That's really mean. Okay. Anything else you want to do on your turn? What up? Oh, no, no. I think that's, I don't think I can do anything. Glissy the bang. I am going to move forward three. Forward three and then towards Richie three. He takes one step forward and then stops and he turns,

he gives first Glitzy a little bit of a wink and then he pulls out a spear and seeing you, he's like, I will kill you for this. If I cannot survive, neither can you? And he tosses a spear at you. Oh shit. You get some natural 20. Well, actually.

Oh, there's no ease in range for you to. That's what I'm looking at. It is as long as I can see. Oh, that's crazy. Someone that I can see. I'm gonna use two source three points and I'm gonna remove a D4 from his roll. Natural 20 automatically hits.

Would it not Chris? So if it's reducing the roll. It's reducing the roll. Okay. I'm not sure that you can reduce it by a number. If you're being disadvantaged at. Presumably, you can take a 20 and get it down to a 19, 18, 17, or penalty to the creature's rule. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm the truth. It's up to you. I believe rule is written. Yes, rule is written. It would not, but it's up to you. Oh, really? Let me just do a quick Google. Listen, I don't know.

I'm sure the rules is written. So, I'm curious. What's the name of the feature? Bend luck. Interesting. This is one of those like... When another creature you can see makes an attack roll and an ability to check where a saving for you.

You can use your reaction and spend two stress points to roll a 1D4 and apply the number rolled as a bonus or penalty your choice to the creature's role. You can do so after the roll, but before any effects occur. Are we long rested after the last short rested? No, we're short rested. I said, death is the longest rest. I feel fine.

You're going to be short rest. I should use my bonus action, man. Oh, my bitch. My guess is that Glitzie's going to get her two sorcery points back. And that's fine if I do. I can use them for other things. Yeah, that's my guess. But I will be surprised if it works. I see.

Okay, it does not change the dice, the naturalness of that 20. As an example, if my plus to hit was plus 5, I have a 25 to hit. So I would reduce that 25 down to 24, 23, 202, or 21. but it doesn't change the 20 to a 19 or lower. So you would not negate the cr- I will keep my sorcery points. Okay. That's a good call.

So you keep it. Quartercase. Yeah. I do 13 points of piercing damage to you as the sphere slices into you. Oof. And I don't play spellcasters well at all. So how do I roll for concentration?

Roll a D-20. This is a con save. You can play a sorcerer. DC-10. I stand by my statement. D.C. You rolled a natural. Perfect.

You're good. A natural what? 10. So 13, 13 in total. Well, there's nothing I can do about that, so Gorum stays there. How much damage does that say? You hit me, you crimped me.

Oh, 14. 14. 14. Was it 13? I thought it was 13. I thought it was 13. It was 13. All right.

I'll add one. Thank you. That's gonna be that. So he's fucked. That's unfortunate. Um, Bbar. Oh man I'm just making sure there's nothing else I can do here

This does me anxiety I end my turn Okay, you could dash I'm good okay thank you very cool And very legal John Luke I will slap my hands and I'm going to place it

on top of my horrible Camara creature And I'm going on I'll say sail, sail, sail, sale, as I cast haste on him. Uh-huh. And I'm going to dash with him. Uh-huh.

My speed is 400 for you. Oh my God. Okay. And you're large. And I've large. Here's a new large token. I got a mini. Oh, you got it?

Okay. Holy shit. It's pretty mid as. So I'm going to say, I'm going to say. Wait, who's who? That's Babbar. That bar. That's him at the other end.

John Claus at the other end. That's Gorham. Gorm is the school. Gorm's the school. Five, ten. The only thing I ask is try to figure out as big a mark as we go, since this is so many, try to edit your path as much as possible.

How do I basically, can I just like do math it out of what 400 squares would be? You can. You can. First start dividing it by, it's like, it's a large creature. It's like 80 squares. If you turn left, right, divided by five. Did you start circling the entire thing,

you could shrink the field of place. very quick way. That would be one way to do it. So if you want to go... It's 80 squares. If you want to start snaking this way, we can just get rid of eight squares. No, no, no, 400 divided by five. Is 80. Is 80. Okay, got it got it's 80 squares. It's 80 squares. Because you have 400 feet, divided by 500 feet. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fourteen. Well, he'd be chunking two at a time. I know, I know, I'm just trying to...

I'm just trying to... I'm just gonna be basically blazed past everybody here. Alright, so you went this way, you tucked in here. Yeah. Yeah. Went this way? Yep. Right.

You don't want to, you're not, you can't go home by now. Correct. Yeah. Uh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 14, 15, 16, 17, 17, 18. I think you've got 20 there. Ninete two to get out. 20, 21, 22, 23. You're saying that's 25?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two to get out. All right, we'll hold 25. You just want to keep going? Yeah, I'm going to keep going. 26 basically. 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 35, 37,

30, 40, 401, 42, 43. Tell me when to stop. And then the zip, cut here. 44, 45, 46, 47. Cut back here. 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 56, 57. And then just snake up. Fifty-eight, 59, 66, 66,

61, 633, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 8, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 80. It's going to be close. I think that's pretty fucking close. That's fine. So just give me a minute here. Holy shit. We're in trouble with us. We are in deep shit.

Very well played, Mike. Very well played. I say, I say, it's going to be a crash. You don't care about these guys, because they already, or were you? No, he wanted to go against the wall, I think. That's fine. Yeah. Actually, this is fine. This is fine.

Just keep in the rest. No, no, yeah. Just get rid of that one. And then just, just, yeah. Yeah. It's easy, fits. And then just get rid of that one dangler. Holy shit.

Well done. Well played. I am shocked. I'm shocked. Where did he end? Here. Oh. Okay.

Uh, yeah, give or take five feet. That's my turn. Holy shit, that John Luke is one hell of an accountant. Look at all the counting he just did. That's very much. You ain't wrong. The walrus. Was it my turn?

Oh, now that it's your turn, X off the, um... Oh, no, at the end of your turn. Holy shit. Yes, so the only problem here is going to be just... Nah, it's everything. It should be all right. Jesus. Christ Almighty. Spells.

What's the range of this? 30 foot cone. Four and a half. Six. The first thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna shoot another ray of frost at John Luke. Sure. John Luke just painted a big target on his back.

I see, I didn't come here to make friends. That's pretty good. 21 to hit. Oh, fuck. How many hit points can you possibly have? 14. Huge. 19 points of damage.

damage? Make a concentration check for that haste. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I say on the counter my trans, my philosopher's stone, I am proficient. Ah, the trans my philosopher's son. Oh, I say, I'm gonna bend your rock minus a D4. I don't think you should say that, right? I think he got like a billion. Yeah.

You know, I don't see one. We're just, I'm sorry, I'll say, I'll say, do you click the damage? Yes. Okay. I'm saying, I am not looking good. I'll say it. Jesus. One, two, three, four.

Oh, by the way. Dude, you gotta get well. Rich, I also want to say, if you want to instead attack the mount the second to make any damage, it's dead. We wouldn't know that. I don't know that. I wouldn't know that. You're happy with this path?

Yep. And then... Is the mount considered a creature? Yes. You can target it however you'd like. Cool. It uses more stats, but it's faster. Things are heating up very quickly here in beautiful.

Oh, John Cod, you're up. It's just you and me. You cannot escape without me moving. Turn off your suggestion, and I will help save you. I say you're going to move pretty far at the end of you next time. I say, I say, I say, I say, I'm saying, that's the brother I know. I'll fucking you can fly! I curse you to the nine hells, Jean-Claude.

Well, I'm maybe waiting for me yet. Do I think I can fly in this room? You haven't heard anything otherwise. I mean, if he can summon a fucking phantomsteed and gas face on it, I hope you can fucking fly. I look at Jean-Luc, and I put my hand up to my mouth, and he'll hear a whispering in his ear. say where'd you find this one I mean it's a lot but I say I say I say it's a lot

prettier than your previous pair or more and I cast disson and whispers bro it's my action you have to make a save a wisdom save of 16 me yeah I say I say oh no I say I want to use a twist this yeah I'm a lot yeah Oh. Yeah. I say, I say with that twist, what do I have to do? The constitution, wisdom.

I say, I say it's, that'll be a 19. Damn. What are you trying to do? Dissent whispers. How does that work? Like what does it do to them? It's damage. Oh, nice.

But targets will make a wisdom saving throw on a failed save, it takes 46 psychic damage and must immediately use its reaction. on a successful save, it takes half as much, and doesn't have to move it back. I'll say how much damage is that? Just look at what's happening on the battlefield. Damn.

Damn. OK. OK, Jean-Claude. 16. 16, so 8. I say, I say, fuck. And I will move. You can walk over doubts.

I would try and if I now reveal that I 30 views a little bit. Do I, I would, I think I would try and get over Gorm. If I think I could like, fly over him, that'd be small.

With the jump rules. I'll let's tell you, you do not feel that teleportation or fly magic is being punished in this space. I take to the air. Oh man. Pull it.

No, it's more. You want to go straight out, you want to keep going this way? I just want to go, yeah, one past it. That's 30. That's your turn? That's what turn?

A mark, yeah. And then, oh, you're flying over him. Glythe. I'm going to turn to Jean-Luc and I'm going to look at him and I'm going to cast Nel Thayer's Mithead. Oh, see, oh, fuck! Okay.

Oh, go. Oh, no, it just happens. So it's a 20-foot cube. It's a cube, yeah. Yeah, and I'm going to place it over him. And then I have to roll a D-4. and that's gonna determine what happens. I say there might be yummy apples in there.

I love, I saw that snake fell up. We need a directional thing. Oh, scatter die. Yeah, I say, oh fuck. Yeah, just make me north. Oh, that's fine. We do whatever. All the matters is better for him, right?

The D8, right? Yeah, cool. Okay, so roll a D8. Five. South, towards Rich and I. Okay, so. You watch as Glitzy takes out what looks like a stick of dynamite, but it's really just, it really is just like pixie stick dynamite,

and it's filled with glitter as she tosses it at him. This glitter dynamite goes off around Jean-Luc, and each creature in the cube must succeed on a wisdom saving throw, so you do get a wisdom saving throw. Oh, that probably succeeds. I say, I say, your horse has to do it too, by the way. I say, I say the horse has a, is a riding horse, let me pull up in statistics.

And you're on top of it, so this might actually happen. You pass handily, but it runs it. I say, I say, I wist up. I'm gonna use one of my twists on my horse. I suppose I could. I suppose I could. Oh boy, get out of here. One more twist, one more twist.

One more twist. One more twist. Oh, okay, my horse gets a 13. I, however, succeed with a 20, I believe. The horse begins giggling until the start of its next turn. It is incapacitated and it uses all of its movement to move in a random direction, and that random direction is self. And that happens right now.

Wait, on its turn? It is incapacitated at the start of its next turn, period. A giggling creature is incapacitated and uses all of its movement to move in a random direction. But you can't take actions or more than. If he's using his movement, it's on his turn. Yes. That would happen.

OK. So on, yes, at the start of its next turn, the horse will immediately move south. He's toast? All of its movement south. Yeah, we'd have to see if it's going to collapse. But can he jump off the horse? Great question.

It actually is. It's easily after me. OK. So you get off. The horse is taking care. But the horse will no longer be able to do it. The horse is test. Fuck.

We almost got him. We almost got him. Help. So, so I mean, my forbidden love for themselves. And then I am going to move forward three and then towards Derek. Towards Derek? Towards Derek three? One, two, three.

One, two, three. Okay. Things are getting very sweating, very quickly. The ones that were activated last time that I moved over, aren't those X's now, too? These are. The dots. Just these. Just yours.

Oh, so the dots don't change regardless if someone walks on them. You can make it like worse. Yeah, only the path of the... I can hardly believe what I'm watching. We normally enjoy non-lethal fleam-flow and we're watching people literally try to kill each other. Yes, it's much more entertaining. Do you don't like the chicken? I don't know what's going on.

The roof is battering above me. I think the movement happens now because it says that they get to roll a again to, they get to roll again at the start of each of their turns. Huh. Oh, what is the name of the ability? It's called Nel-Nathair's Mischief. Oh no, no, I roll again at the start of each of my turns

if I wanna change it. Okay, that's what it is. Oh yeah. Oh, okay. It's not below. Yeah. No, I do, can you look it up? I do think it happens right away.

So this, I'll read exactly what it says. Each creature in the cube must succeed on wisdom saving throw or begin giggling until the start of my next turn. A giggling creature is incapacitated and uses all of its movement to move in a random direction. Yeah, so if it's using its movement, it has to be on his turn.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I say, I say, we need some ribs and shrimp back again. Oh, I say, that sounds like a good time. The ribs and shrimp are back and holy shit, what the fuck is Gorham doing? You sentenced me to death, and now perhaps we die together. Gorham uses his action to attempt to grapple you.

Oh. What? Oh. Yeah, you maybe should have not stood next to it. Oh. What a add is our? I make a strength athletics check. Against your acrobatics or athletics.

Whatever's higher. Okay. Acrobatics. Disrespect. Yeah, let's make sure. I'll twist it just in case. Let's shoot one over here. What is it?

Eight. I don't roll it last. Also give me one of your coins. Uh. I guess I don't have the ability to like bonus action or anything right now do I know? No, no. You know what? At least you have some bad reaction. Do you have cutting words

or anything like that? Like the silver barbs? Yeah, no, no, you're a freaking what you call it? You certainly have a reaction. The break text is still on. Break text. You realize that Gorham has you in a chokehold. He may not be able to take another step. He has taken his step and he has stopped. But he

whispers into your ears. Jean-Claude, release me. and I will walk away. I'm gonna twist one more time. I'm gonna twist one more time. Oh yeah, you're better. You're better. Give up your last twist.

21 for acrobates. Just throw on the old cauldron over there. Oh, well, give it to you. You asked for the last time. This is also confusing. Let me just read the stat block, make sure that I'm not missing anything. You turn and you're able to slip out at the last second,

breaking free of the chokehold. He reaches for you, but his turn is ended as the platform underneath you, him disappears and he, and because he's falling next to a tile that still exists, he can make a saving crew. To endeavor to hang on. That's huge.

That's huge. He definitely appeared silver bars. I just randomly put spells. To the same tile that you're standing on. Oh shit. If he moves five feet down as he falls, Can I opportunity to attack him to get him? Damn it.

He manages to grab on. Wow. He can't take another step. He can't do anything, but he's doing everything that he can to survive. The tenacious survivor like him, having made it this far, he is hanging on, and you look down and you have the dizzying height of the impossible scenario that you find yourself in, John Claude. He is still hanging on. Release me. Release me.

Please. And that'll be the conclusion of... of Gorim's turn, Babar. I had my turn. Is that, is that Babar B. Bbar from the 42nd Grand Fleenfellow Prime Material Playing Championship? Yes, I think that is. He's playing a very tactical game.

I'm not sure why he isn't attacking the others, like the others are attacking the others. Very interesting. John Luke. So, I come to, if I swap my spell and drop concentration on haste, oh, then the horse is stuck. and I don't care.

It's incapacitated. It incapacitated. Yeah. Horse screwed anyway. I will, I'll look down and I'll say, You are always worthless, Kevin, as I will jump off of the horse, ending my concentration on haste.

It'll be stunned and paralyzed. I think it's still up, though, and I think you need to use an action. I don't know, it's still, so it's still gonna try to run in different directions, I guess, depending. It's gonna run it. It's gonna run it. Do you have your token, though? Oh, I do.

Because you need to separate, right? Also, even if it's incapped, the second you end your turn, all that will fall. It'll just plummet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fucked. So, I will jump in.

You always were, useless, Kevin. And now I will say, I will utter foul words and cause the worst thing you could possibly hear. The only thing that's inescapable and certain are death and tax is. That's right. As I cast summon lesser demons.

Oh my God. I will slap my hands together and once again create a summoning circle. It's I'm gonna roll 1D6 to see the demon summoned and it's up to Derek to choose how the demons manifest. Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry. May I start exing these off? This is gonna take me a while. Are you- Yeah.

Is there anything that's gonna happen with the, okay. I just wanna make sure. Summon what? Four demons of challenge rating one half or lower. No, I need this spell. What are you cast? Oh, summon lesser demons. Summon lesser demons.

Thank you. Guys don't want to see my options. Four demons of challenge reading half or lower is what you got? Yes, one half or lower. They're hostile to all creatures including you. Oh, great. Roll missions for the summon demons as a group. They pursue and attack the nearest non-demons

to the best of their ability. Where are they? I can place it anywhere I'd like. So what I'd like to do is, I'd like to place them in between Glitsey and Bavar, hoping that they'll basically, hoping that they'll attack both of them, as I will, oh actually, oh, by the way,

all these are attack. Actually, can I? Oh, I can run across. I can know, I'm hearing. Choose your movement after anybody's done with what he's doing. There's a lot of platforms. Now these were the Walrus, this was, our boy the horsey.

And then his is just straight down those two. Yeah, because you went through and around. Okay, where's your movement? So I will have jumped off. Yep. So that's five, 10, 15, 20, 25. Yes, you're good, you're good, you're good. 30, yep, you're good. And so I'm going to summon the demons.

So one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, in between Babar and Kletzzi. When do they show up? They show up immediately. I mean, when do they move? They rule initiative. So they're hostile to everyone, including me. As part of the action, though, I can create a circle

that propents me from their gaze. Jesus. And I'll put the circle around me. Is it just five feet? It's five feet. Okay. Do you want any of them touching Babar or glitzy or just in the middle, like randomly scattered?

How would you like to place them? Did you roll how many? You summoned? I rolled, yes. Four demons of challenge rating one half or lower. Okay. The DM chooses the demons. Yep.

Oh, I can choose the unoccupied spaces. I can see, oh my gosh. Yeah, so you can put them, that's, okay. There's this loud infernal bang, and you all smell the impossible almost like ozone toxicity of the abyss. And after a brilliant fiendish light, these four, they almost look like pig-faced,

hairless apes, land down, long, thick ears, disgusting green skin as four dretches suddenly emerge out of nothingness, having been transmogras philosophized by Jean-Lews. No, he's holding on, he's holding on to the ledge. Yeah. That's my turn? While Rousse, all of a sudden,

you've watched all of these panels evaporate and disappear. It is getting sketchy. Can these demons fly? We cannot. Awesome. Fuck you, Dina. How's Zohan Luke looking? Like a bitch.

Not good. It's not good. I'm not sure who I'm rooting for, to be honest. I just want everyone to have a nice time. This is violent. I'll go this way so that... Sorry, where did you start? So I started here.

Okay. I would do this, this, and this. Okay. You can X off the squares that I did. Should it be those? Yep. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.30. So if he wants to make an opportunity attack, you can.

Oh, the demon can. Yeah. Any idea how many HP's demons have? Oh, they're dretches. They shouldn't be too strong, right? I mean, you don't want to tell me that. They're not a dredch. They're one half, yeah, the dretches are.

I can't imagine they have a lot of HP. They came in like a dredching ball. He would say that. That was a very him thing to say. They're very strange. They move around like a squirrel with three tails, confusing but entertaining. I'm going to, my hand will glow again

and the ice will glow blue, and I'm going to shoot rhymes binding ice. Yeah, let's get out. He needs to make a con save, so he's pretty good at that. So we'll see that. I say, I say a column save. I say, I say, 19 plus three. Oh, provision in the, I'm provisioning those

because of my Philosopher's Stone. So, plus six, 25. So you take, 19, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 8, and then, 2020, 2021, you take 10 points of cold damage. Well, I say, I say, I say the walrus, he might have a quick whip, but in a battle of braun,

he couldn't rip up your baby picture. I say, I say, he says, I say, I'll say, is there a little poor? All the demons disappear. Is it because of concentration? Yeah. No way. All the demons, so we got it marked through spaces, I presume.

Yeah, you just have to mark through space. But it was here, here, and. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, and they'll go in the dredges. So you're still unconscious, but you're... Yeah. But the conundries knows.

Yeah. Um, I yell out. Babbar looks at you with a, with a, with a, like a, a face that looks like it's carved from stone. He, he looks conflicted. This is not the ruthless Babbar that you're used to. Okay, that's good. What's Glitzy looking? Does Glitzy say anything in this moment?

Oh, fuck that guy. Okay. Okay. I will hold on to my bonus action and just leave it at that. John Claude. All that's out of four, I'll say, Oh, my brother.

And she would have said, Nice job, the walrus. We got rid of that fuck. Please, help me up. I will protect you. Well, I say, I say, I say. Oh, me, you've just, I've just assisted in felon my own brother.

You think I'll give a damn about you? Yes, but your brother was a dick. Well, that's fair. What? I've seen what you do with those hands. I can make him a polar. You just take a polarite? Exactly.

Yeah, right. Is that? I don't care. Is that what are you going to me? I say, I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night. And you feel you could get away from him without incurring an attack of opportunity? He has a lot. All the same.

I'll slide him a polaroid. of him having a personal intimate moment in the stalls. And he will take, unless he's a gentleman of, unless he's a gentleman of not ill repeat, then that won't, you decide, that's it. And he will, any role that he attempts to make him, I have to take a 1D8 away from it, and I'll say, well I say, I say,

go on, you know what, I will drop concentration, but only to do this! And I flap my chicken wings as hard as I can, because I'm now the correct. the correct Ericocra and I can. Gust of wind! Yeah! I'm gonna blast a pillar of wind erupts from my flapping,

uh, righteous wing. Do you end suggestion? Do you have to? It was concentration. Yeah. So I'll end suggest. I mean, he's done what I've suggested he'd do. He's given his spot. It's over.

And he hasn't moved. So I will end suggestion there. Okay. To now concentrate on a massive pillar of wind, this blasting. The downward angle. The poleway flaps away from his hand and he holds on with both hands as best you can. So he will...

Strength saving for him. It is, I believe, the strength saving... What's the DC? He might not have to do it until his turn. I'm gonna... Let me... So, its concentration, a line of strong winds, 60 feet long and 10 feet wide, but I'm gonna try and blast it down into his square. She's a spell duration.

Each creature that starts its turn... turn in the line must succeed on a strength saving throw or be pushed 15 feet away deep down in the direction of following the line. Any cushion attempts, if you could successfully climb out of it, it would eat a large strung of his movement. If he has any flames on him, it's extinguished. And I move my movement to the corner of the room. That's smart, okay? Take six steps towards the car. But you're flying though, so you're not triggering. I am flying.

I don't know if that. Oh, are you falling apart? Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't be triggering the tiles without putting pressure on them. So remove the tiles for me, Andy. Smoking go. Oh, apologies. I got it here.

Um, just when you land at the end. You do not touch the tiles. Oh, just when you do land. And if he flew here, too. You got half to land. You got to be able to land. Oh, did you fly to that other location? He flew here, too.

So I don't think these would be touched either. Well, he started here. Right. So that would be touched. No, that was... He has to land. But these three... I mean, it doesn't say that I have to land.

It just says that I fly. If you don't have to hover, then you can't stay in the air thing. Okay, okay, I believe. Okay. Okay. So there's a tile behind... That is... The arm.

Yes. Okay, I'm going to increase the DC a lot, but we'll see if he can survive the wind and potentially grab onto the others. He can kill this guy. There's a pool of wood of him enjoying an intimate moment. It's my body. What we're learning is that John Claude's real crime is not all the jury tamering shit.

You're a peeping tom. Yeah. That's how you're doing these photos. Yeah. This guy's in the privacy of his own home, and you're taking pictures of doing lewd shit. To win a court case, you need everything on your side. The law and a bunch of other criminal activity. That's what the year up.

Yeah, you don't need a criminal lawyer. You need a criminal lawyer. It's a great one. It's all good, man. Well, I can fly, too. You can. I'm very. But I'm not gonna.

And so I'm gonna move along the line that I had walked on previously. No, along the line I'd walked on previously. And then, no, back one. There, so that should be three, and then three. Nope, and then over. Oh, X off John Claude's two pips for me while we're talking.

Oh, this one and that. Yeah. Yeah. I'll need to quickly roll for him. He does fall to his down. What does it sound like? Spikes down here. We're gonna see you done?

Yeah, that's my turn. Now mark off the dredge pits as their turn is over. And Bbar. Do we decide, did you ever cast a bonus action spell in an action spell in the same turn? I did. Oh, you're going. I used five feet of movement, 30.

I can bonus action Misty step. Then I have 10, 20, 30, 40, sorry. I used five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. I raised my hand and with the most solemn face I've ever had in my life, I close it as I channel my divine energy and I begin to cast hold person. You have to make a wisdom saving. You don't have any twists either.

It's just plus zero. Let me see, almost, I'm just, I see, almost, I see, I see, I see. I mean, it's probably out of the real. The brother's gotta go. Don't have my dice. Oh my God. This is, what is it? It's a nine, and I say, you should have been a better attorney.

Oh! You are now paralyzed for the duration. Oh my God. How long is the duration? A minute. A minute? Goodbye! Do you have any ability to save against it?

at the end of your next turn okay with which the tile will have fallen and it will be gone it will be simultaneous falls at the end of my next turn won't I have any movement but would I have the same opportunity to catch the tile maybe yeah maybe perhaps yeah okay okay okay and you have wings that is the end of Badbar's turn fucking brutal oh my god you almost see it you see what looks like there might be a tear in Babbar's eye, but you're not sure. You're not short. Glissy looks between Babar and John Claude.

Three. This is really very sad. I'm not sure exactly what to say. Say whatever's in your heart take. Uh, that's your turn. John Luke. Is. Am I able to use twists on death saving clothes on this?

I don't see one up. Damn. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Oh, should I not roll? Yeah, you can roll.

Did you ice him all? I'm gonna twist. Like even if you save, I still saved. Okay, because he's gonna get a disdainting drugs? No. No. Just the damage knocked down.

I'm going to twist. He's trying to fish for a natural 20. I'm fishing for a natural 20. Oh yeah, because you gotta get up and move. Yeah. I'm gonna use all my twists. Yeah, I mean, you gotta. Might as well.

You won't. Just be aware you won't. Thank you, chat. You won't have them for. That's fine. Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna fucking live, you gotta live. You gotta live.

I think he really likes playing this evil transportation. I was re-roll that one. Yeah, your computer. Roll it out here. Roll it out here. One last one. That's it. I got one more twist.

He's got one. Okay. This is it. The last twist. I love that you're doing this. I'm gonna use part of the cards here. God, I saw the 19 and I like, my blood ran cold. I succeed.

You succeed. But not with the 20. You have one successful death savings, bro. But at the end of your turn, you are unawares as the panel underneath you disappears and all of a sudden you are plummeting. I say, I say, I'm sorry, brother. You, as I'm paralyzed, I'll cor my eyes.

You have my eyes like this. You have two months. You have the moment of falling unconscious initially as all this damage hit you over and over and over after your outrageous initial sprint onto the battlefield. And as you are plummeting, I would say that you do finally find that natural 20

and wake up just in time to do, hit the ground below. What are you thinking? That's hard. I'll say, just in time. Oh, fuck, my only regret, I got hit by all those eyes spells. And you do find that there are spake,

Prince of Persia's style at the bottom of this pit. That's John Luke. The walrus's turn. What a good, what a good song change. Oh, God, no! I just, I'm focusing on the spell and I look to you. And I have, I just have, again, my phone, my face looks carved from stone. I look stoic.

I look displeased, but I don't look as vengeful as you've normally seen me. My point of view, the tusks are evil. So that's falling. You're trapped, man. No, I can't. I can't California. Yeah, we both have messy stuff. Oh, yeah. You have faced up, too. Yeah, that's what I'm using.

So I... We win, just be the last three alive. As soon as the third next person dies, the game should presumably end. Because the last one is correct. Even though he's going to try to take me out over here. Let's calculate 120-bugging squares. So that's one square of movement.

then one, two, so theoretically, I'm gonna say here. Yeah, just calculate it out. One. Five feet of movement. And then if I can misty step, one and a half, two and a half, three and a half, four and a half, six. Yep, yep.

And then I have five feet of moving left, one, two, three, four, five, one, two, three, foot spell, one, two, three, four, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, a little about it, because those are the rules in the game. Amazing. I don't think the Walworth realizes what we're doing,

here. No, he doesn't seem to appreciate that everyone's going to die for the sake of Godhood. He's trying to save his friends for some sort of twisted vision of his walrus justice. So you landed there. And then you have 5, 10, 15, 20, and that was your 25. Yeah, and then those three need to be crossed out. Yeah, they'll be gone at the end. That's amazing. It's you, Andy. Um, okay.

Nice for keeping me on top of it. You know, from a certain point of view, the X-out area all looks kind of, like, area all looks kind of like a chicken, like a pixelized chicken icon to me. Maybe it's just from my... Oh yeah! I see the beak, it's on my eyes. Yeah, I see, yeah. As I have Jean-Claude in my grip from a distance,

I see the walrus coming in and I say, The Loras! No! Stop! You don't understand. We cannot all survive! I am doing what must be done, the Loras! We can find a way! There's got to be a way!

You are a naive fool! The walrus might need to go. That's very funny. The warrants the entire time is imposter. I'm respectful. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for all the twist that I wasted. I'm only going to the saving throw,

but I appreciate you guys. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Okay, I got to try this. I'm going to guess. And from Jean-Luc's paralyzed body, A wave with a bunch of walruses will start to the... Bad-ass-flow and crash into Babar.

He needs to make a... I'm going to use so many twists. It's a deck save 16. Oh, wow. Well, you picked one that I suck at. I thought it was going to be a wave of water called Walrus Rave, but it's actually a wave of Walry. Oh, you're good.

I got a 24. I have a plus six to save. A 48. Could you want more D.E.8 is a lot. Would you like one of mine? I would like one thing worse. I don't know if this is a conflict of interest. It's not.

One, two, three, four, ten, thirteen, thirteen, sixteen, eighteen, nineteen, nineteen, nineteen, nineteen, nineteen. So it's still ten, I have to save four, right? Not more than ten? Correct, your concentration. But I am taking, I'm taking half of nineteen? Yes.

Or take the full amount. You take eight points of, eight points of. And I will save for concentration. My con save is plus seven. I need a plus ten. Come on, come on, come on. I'm gonna use a twist because that would be a nine. Okay, okay, okay.

I have to just not roll ones, twos. Yeah, anything higher than... I save my concentration. The walrus! Stop this nonsense! Open your eyes and realize that I'm trying to save you! I see my oldest friend paralyzed on the ground. All of my magical walruses fall into the cave. But it's not over yet.

We gotta see what happens here. How would you like to do this, Derek? So you have to, at the end of your turn, you are allowed to make the save again. But what it says is that you are paralyzed for the duration, and you just make another wisdom saving throw, on a success the spell ends on the target. So yeah, that's it.

I mean, you won't be able to move or anything, but you will save for it, and then it's up to the DM determine whether or not you can grab one. Save for it. If you succeed, I'll walk through the step, If you succeed, then you will have a moment's reaction as you pass down because the, you got three to grab.

The platform that you're standing on disappears at the end of your turn at the same time. At the moment that you maybe are able to free yourself and suddenly have locomotion again, you'll start to drop. At that moment, you might be able to reach out and maybe grab on to a platform. I think people are getting a twist, by the other.

We need to check to see if we don't have more twists. Real quick, can I, if I can, She's a bonus action on my turn, and that's okay? If you Misty Steff, isn't that the bonus action? It is. Thank you. I appreciate that. Then you can hold on. So that'll be a DC-15, dexterity saving grow. After you try to succeed from the whole person.

If none of this happens, then you simply fall to your doom and you get to enjoy a death moment. Yeah, make sure though that nobody has given us five twists total. Because Mace might get an extra. Oh, so hold on. I didn't roll without. We start. We're seeing if we have twists.

We have public... You allotted your twist. Thank you so much. Canadian Czech Priest. We have Smeat was 500 across all of these. Thank you. We have... That's another one between across all of those.

Thank you. Oh my God. We got 900 bits. There's two more. See, you know, we got an extra twist. Without a twist. We got another one from Mottakerl, thank you. Another one from Smeat.

Smeet, not you. So we are two away from a full... Although, you're dead. It's in the player? Yay. Oh, God. I will roll the save with one twist. Just with ownership of one twist.

Yeah, yeah. See if you pass first. It's not like crazy guy. What is this? What's it? It's 15. I was gonna tell you. Wisdom. Yeah, okay. I just meant like wisdom. Yeah, it's wisdom.

That's rough, buddy. Do yours. Okay. I'll use my one twist. He's gonna cash in his twist. His twist. Who are all these? Those are Mike's, Spett ones.

And then this is. Mesa spent one. Nope. It's a seven. Wasn't meant to me. I fail. You have, well, you just get, you just, used it, used it.

Used it, yeah. It was a five and then a seven. It wasn't meant to be. That bar tightens his grip as you feel your bones muscles tighten even further as you are unable to get away from the grip of the paralysis. You drop 500 feet in what feels like no time at all. You are unable to fly, you are unable to do anything.

All that you have left for the, is a few moments before you hit the spikes at the very bottom of this chasm is what you think to yourself before the end. May I have final words? That's what I'm asking you to do, yeah. Can I have vocal final words? Sure.

As my bones are crunching, I'm paralyzed one chicken eye opens to the side and I look towards the wall where and I say, I'll say, I say, my real brother, and this chicken is blocked. As I plummet, oh, I say I save my final flight. But the moment that he passes through the threshold of that opening, you feel the ground underneath you solidify.

It suddenly all of the fallen panels and everything underneath you restores itself to the point where you need not fear where you're standing. You do not need to keep moving. All of a sudden, it becomes a safe space once again. again for the three of you, the walriths, Glitzy, and Bbar to stand. The moment the ground solidifies, Babbar will double over, hands on knees, one hand on the wall next to him, and he begins to breathe heavily. I'm just like sobbing. I'm on the ground.

To one of the wall. This is so fun. Doors open. And two, three, four sets of pyramid-headed constructs, guardians, sentinels walk in, and you know that you're being led, guided, to the dormitory. The moment that they come in and do they try to like, touch us or grab us or take us? No, they don't try to grab you by the arms or anything. They just create an opening and just by their very body language,

just... As we walk past them, that bar is radiating heat and anger. And as he gets closer, he says, Fuck you. Fuck all of you. When I win this, I'm coming back from... And I proceeded the dormitory. You continue to walk through. You said that to the pyramid. Yes.

Oh, okay. I'm like, shit. They'll have to drag me out. I'll be like, sobbing and screaming and wailing and slamming on the door. As I fall on that, I'm like... I run over to this corner and I'm like, falling up the ground. They grab you underneath the arms eventually and pull you boots scraping against the... Can you fuck off me! Like I look myself!

Glitzy. We'll see each other again. Glitchie just looks around the room as the waller is being dragged out. I had 30 more days. She's just saying they're kind of locked out. Glitzy is the, what's the... Not the Mallrats movie. I wasn't supposed to be here.

The Clarks. All three of you eventually find your way back to the dormitory, and you've realized that the beds have been cleared out. This entire space has actually been almost decorated. Curtains hanging from the walls, tapestries. There are now tall candelabras in all directions. It's been made to look faux fancy, for it still is in this sort of hygienable.

space of undecoratedness, but in the center, just underneath the treasure chest, there's a table, a long banquet table, and you can see other people are beginning to assemble, and the voice above is not the announcers that you've come to recognize from the Fleenfell Championship, but the announcer of the frontman. Please, sit down, assemble. It is time for your last meal. And that is where we'll call tonight. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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