Legends of Avantris - Cuttlefish Sweepstakes | Ep. 4 | Farewell Dinner

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

The games come to a close with a devious dinner party. Who will claim victory and potential godhood?   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/9Cn87g0TdcA?si=jbScL_Q_n6BJBBn0

Welcome to Legends of Aventrists. I adore watching the tusks slowly fall apart, crash and burn, and from the ashes of those hopeless attempts at companionship, bring forth the God we are looking for. Gods I love to gamble. John Luke was vicious and heinous. I would have seen that rewarded. I loved John Luke, but he had to go.

That's one Kentucky fried bitch. I like the lawyer more. and more with every piece of blackmail. Jean-Claude, though he used grotesque methods, proved to be quite efficient in these sweepstakes until the end. Let the fires burn and the ashes of your enemies rain

down around you, Glitzy. As much as I enjoy Babar and his fiery spirit, his strength may be his downfall. I always knew Babar and Glitzy would stand above the remains of the fallen. Babar is ruthless, and that is what will get him to the end of this game.

I'm pleasantly surprised that the walrus is still in this. He really said, let's torture these poor Fleen Flell sportscasters by making them watch people die horrifically. That's right. And without a moment to break or... And without a moment to break or breathe, we're picking things up immediately with the next game.

When will it end? When the last one standing is... Well, the last one standing. Indeed. Did I hear you correctly during the last game that you participated in these cuddle, fish sweepstakes previously? That's correct.

Does that mean you know what's coming next? Based on the familiar-looking gilded table the remaining players are gathering around now? Yes, yes I do. And you survived? Does that mean, does that mean you won and ascended to Godhood?

Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. Back when I played, the winner simply got to keep their life. I also got a hearty handshake and a hot cup of coffee. Goodness. Well, then, What's in store for our players?

A game most sinister, a game of trust and betrayal. And of course the food is incredible. This is where I discovered Lamprodoto. It's just incredible when it's done properly. I'm not sure I could eat knowing that each bite could be my last. That's basically every meal. Damn. Well, who's left after everything that happened last round?

We're down to just 10 players now, correct? That's right. That's right. In this penultimate game, we've got an Ericokokra barbarian named Queak. Babar B. Babbar, whose middle name I recently learned is also Bavar. An autonome barbarian named G4 RY64, though I understand he just goes by Gary. The Walrus and a ladron of the Winter Court. Galileo.

Glitzy, the bang sparks. A half-linked druid with the name Regan. A strange creature who goes by the name Glopshito. A gnaroborn from the crooked moon named Breezy. And a dwarf called Bargrim that makes most other dwarves seem downright pleasant. Wait, is that dwarves or dwarfs? Now is not the time, Verit. Any guesses as to who might take the ultimate prize?

These two final games will test these players. their social skills, their speed and their strength, and their willpower to survive. I myself remember the bittersweet liberation of victory, freedom and coffee for myself, oblivion for hundreds of other souls. The prospect of becoming a god on top of all of that is a daunting one. Perhaps these games are an existential metaphor, telling us their stories about the mortal condition. Individual games like the one we're about to witness might seem trivial to the blinded critics and philosophers of today,

but the core of competition, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation if we are to be saved at all. Very, pass me the whiskey. Let's dive in. Well done, Derek. Amazing.

What's a yine? Amazing. Can I just say I'm very disappointed that Derek mentioned the thing about the walrus, because I was really hoping to say, and also the warrants. I don't want to get the dormit drinking.

First little housekeeping. We need to figure out who, I guess not all of these correspond to anyone anymore, but we need to actually correspond these to the folks that they were corresponding to last time. And I have fresh bottle caps. Oh, I had rose gold. I have fresh bottle caps for those new characters

that we just mentioned. You seriously don't have a Budweiser? Ironically, I don't. I think I might have a highlight. Oh, I'll have a, Samuel Adams. Oh, yeah, this bass, largemouth bass. That looks ironic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's that one, we're rigging. If we wanted to, we can also flip them around and do names. Nah, I remember. Bother caps, as long as we all remember, we're good. Okay, we're good. Additionally. The bat one would be good for Queak. All right.

Okay. Now, when you put down one of your characters. You can put glitzy next to Queak. Put one of your other characters on the opposite side of the table. All right, that's doable. And it should be like the opposite. Not literally directly facing you, but if this is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Quake where Derek's pointing at that. You don't want to say across me. You don't want to say across me. Not directly across. A little bit of variety just to make sure, and little sir, are we missing. Wait, what about me? Oh, I see.

This is Gluck? That's Glub. And this is Gary. See, Matt. This is Gary, okay. Yep. Let's get the cameras. Oh, no.

Feeling the heat of the intense game of competition that you all felt. Not just you, Babar, the Walrus, and Glitzy, but all of you have had friends in this competition. All of you have had your own share of experiences. You remember going through all of these games all together, and it's only the ten of you now, very cautiously and slowly making your way to the table as you're being directed by the pyramid head constructs

that seem to run this game, or at least are its enforcers. You slide some chairs apart. You sit down, you look at your new neighbors, and you realize that you have found yourself essentially in a very, very fancy banquet, and that courses are being repaired, a large number of forks and knives and tiny spoons all around you. Beautiful candles sitting across from you.

And you realize that there's a coin, a very special coin, where the first plate is eventually going to be served. On one side of the coin, you see a goblet. And on the other side of the coin, you see a knife. I'm going to mechanically hand these out to you now, or one take one and hal them down. Jesus. Oh, God.

I don't like this, Derek. Yep, yep. And you're gonna need a token of betrayal. Oh, God, here you go. And a token of trust. All right there. Jeez. Oh, very cool.

Thank you. Nice question. Here are the tokens of betrayal and trust. As you sit down, you realize that just by sitting, that there is some sort of a magical enchantment, some sort of aura, attempting to float. the table feels like it fills you with fear, like there would be terrible, perhaps deadly results. You are locked into this meal with the people that you probably will enjoy a last

meal with unless you should see through to the final round, whatever final game may be coming around the bend, or perhaps this is it. And music suddenly emanates through the dormitory. The rules of the game are very simple. On your turn, and it'll be your turn if the chest that is floating above you floats above your character, one of your characters, you'll roll the death die. If you get a one on the death die, you die. But if you don't die, you can choose one of your neighbors to your right or to your left and no one else at the table to converse with, to have a bit of small talk.

Whomever you choose, they will choose to trust or betray you and you will choose to trust or betray them. If you both trust, the chest will move away without harm, and then that person will have to roll the death die and so on and so forth. However, if one of you betrays, that betrayer gets to choose where the chest goes. They just get that power, and it can be anyone at the table, save for the person that they are, that they are, save for themselves. And if you both betray, the chest remains in its spot,

and you have to roll the death die and begin another round. Pretty simple, but difficult at an abstract level to convey. You might have to keep us on track. I will be the enforcer of the rules and I'll walk you through the first round. If you wanted to play a practice round, given the seriousness of this, I could play.

No, no. Just going. Just all the last rounds. No, please do it. No, I have a question. No questions are fine. Is this song in public to me? Yes.

Yes, it is. Specifically, obviously the song is well past anything. I mean, the performance is, I double checked. Okay, good. Or are we able to twist the death roll? You are not able to twist the death roll. Oh, Jesus. Christ, what is the death roll?

Well, it starts as a D10. Oh. And then it'll become a D8 when it moves, and then it'll become a D6 when it moves, and then it'll be... This is going to be a short episode. If it kills someone, does it reset? Yes.

Okay. But only to each die smaller. So it'll start at a D10, and then it'll get smaller as it moves around, eventually becoming a D1. When you're saying that we can talk to someone directly next to each other, in Barbar's instance, it's literally these two people?

Yes. Okay. And when... someone dies, then the person who would be the next neighbor would be the next person that you could talk to. Okay. Cool. My heart is a racing.

I don't understand. What happens we both betray? The chest remains where it is above the person that it is. You roll it down. That's right. I'll let you sit for a moment and the, now dressed almost in fancy waiters garbs. The pyramid heads all sit down and play as you take your token, place the plate down in front of you.

Stuffed micanid caps, they look and smell delicious. But you also get a sense that if you wanted something else, being that this is your last meal, you could order any food or beverage that you wanted, and it would be delivered to you post-haste. I roll a D-10. So are we allowed to talk to each other right now? A one.

You can talk to each other cross-chattered table style, but I rolled a one. And the chest swings down around whomever that is. Bargroom. Oh, boy. What does that look like? Oh, this is a character we've not yet met. A grim Mayan God is a dwarf from the Great Mountain Keep.

And he worships the greatest of all the Dwarven ancestor gods, clanging in silver beard. And he's got a great big, big, bushy, red, big. and he has full, he's clad and full plate armor, and he's got a war hammer, and he's got a big shield. And yeah, he's just, he is John Q Dwarf. He's the dwarfiest dwarf that you could ever dwarf. He's so dwarf that his dwarfs and not dwarves.

Yes, that's Dwarf he is. Oh man, this really takes me back. Bargram, this chest suddenly hovered above you and you realize that, um, You've been spared. You do not have to roll this death die. You innately know the rules of this game, even after the rules were conveyed to you

over from some magic mouth that echoed through the dormitory. But you've also just finished the grim experience of the falling platform battle. Everyone had their own arena, and you were able to survive through sheer grit and dwarfiness. And so you'd be able to choose the person sitting across from you, who is... I believe, Quake.

Quake. And then I don't know. Oh, and Gary. That's Gary. And Gary are your neighbors. Is it clear that you were like a robot person? I presume we should probably go around and explain the other characters that are sitting around. I want to do your job for you.

As we run into the other characters, I would have you make your introductions. And so sitting next to Bargram is G4R. Y64 and across from her is Queak. Characters we've not met in the Cuddlefish Sweetsteak stories so far, but Gary, one of you tell us a little bit about your story and what you look like upon first appearance. What you see seems to be a, there's no other way to say this. It's basically a felt automaton out of Chuckie cheese.

But this is, but this is... I say happy, you say birthday! And it's basically a cartoonish, short wizard with a great big, bushy beard, white beard, a robe of moon and stars, big round glasses on. He looks very Muppet-esque, but also elements of the Chucky Cheese, bear jamboree style, and moves. and you can tell that it's a little short wire, there's like sparking going on. And so his head shaking a bit. And you can see that there is a company logo

of Budweiser's children's beer jambrating. That's special. That's really faded. There's stains, there's like mustard stains all over, and you can tell like it's like a Bavarian theme restaurant. But they're like, wizard, it's like, it's really just off. It's off. It's like the Italian

chef, who's the drummer and the chucky cheese, Pascuali. Pesquale. Yeah, the Pesquale. I was going to say, Gary Beersh. Yeah, it's Gary, yeah. It's Gary, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, shaking in the wizard hat is, like,

very much flopping, but you can tell there's, like, mechanics going up into the head because the whole thing is his body. It's very inside. Thank you, Gary. And across the table is, I believe, an Ericocra. Yeah, there's a small duckling Ericocra. Too small for these chairs.

So there are a couple of pillows put onto the chair. They were very accommodated. Yes, that we could be an eyeline with everyone. She is the smallest one of the ducklings, was picked on a lot as a kid. So she decided to train as far. hard as she could and you see that leaning up next to the back of the chair is this giant warhammer that she carries around. I think that's what I gave her was a warhammer. Impressive.

And she is, she is a barbarian and she is, yeah, she is looking around, she's got glasses on that make her eyes really big and she's sniffling a lot. Okay. But she's eating away at a little salad. Bargram, you look down the table and you know per the rules of the game, as they've been described to you, that for the immediate future, choosing to trust or betray, one of these two creatures that are adjacent to you at your table is the name of the game. That is what you're being asked to do. And there's also a delicious-looking stuff, Mikinid cap, in front of you. And so, when would I vote, what triggers the role? Ah, so in the order of operations, you will reveal whether or not you trust the person at the same time they reveal whether or not they trust or betray you. We determine the outcome of that.

The chest, the skull, will either move to a new person because you both trusted and it'll move to an adjacent neighbor, which I'll determine randomly. Or it'll stay on you, meaning you have to roll the death die because you were betrayed, you, um, You both betrayed. Or if one of you is the betrayer, they get to choose anyone else to inherit the death die. If he rolls, if he has to roll, and he succeeds, what happens to that? You go again. So the chest does not move, or the chest will randomly move? The person who initiates whether or not they want to talk to one of their neighbors is the person who has the chest on them.

Okay. So if I vote betray, and let's say, for instance, Gary votes betray. I need to roll. That is correct. Does he need to roll too, Gary or no? Nope. Only the person underneath the chest is under threat of immediate death.

So the only way I don't roll is if Gary votes trust. Or if we roll. This is an important wrinkle. Let's say that you roll and you die. Then the chest would immediately move to the other betrayer and they would immediately have to roll. So that's the risk of trying to betray, is that if it kills you, they immediately have to.

And because this is abstract, I'll demonstrate by going this right. There's a little more room for me. Is there a USB C.H charger under the table? There should be. That doesn't look like one. That looks like one. Let's do this.

Shucks, this mushroom looks like the vegan option portobello burger from Budweiser's children beer brewery. If someone feels like they have an understanding of the rules to just put it on them first, so that the people who don't have an understanding of the rules can watch how one of that house. I mean, I could roll again, make it be fair. The chest arriving on someone isn't going to affect anyone.

So if anyone wants to start with the chest, they're putting themselves at risk, but. I'll go. You too slow? Got it full. Nuts. Who do you want to be? Breezy.

I'll take it over. Which one's breezy? No, no. That's Regan. What? No, no, the green one's reading. That's breezy. Yeah, right.

Okay. Okay. So you would be able to choose one of your neighbors. Yeah. Okay. All right, who are this. Let's say you chose, this is Regan, I think. Yes, let's see.

Regan and Glitzy. Yeah, yeah, let's see. Okay. So now, in order to, I choose Glitzy, I know the rules. Okay. Let me just write these down so that I have them. Bregan. Yeah.

And then that's Breezy? And Breezy. Yep. And then five is glitzy. Yep. Mm-hmm. And then... On this side's the Walrus.

Walrus? It's a blue one. Yep. Then Rose Gold, I believe that's Mr. Glup Shitto. Glubhshedah. Or Mr. Shitto. Then I don't know who's next. Oh, this one?

Oh, that must be your... That's Galahua. Galahuaia. All right. There's gold bronze color. And then we got Babar, Babar, Babbar, Babbar. But most people don't know that the bees for Babbar. All right.

We got the rest. Moving down the table, you see a gnarleborn of a man. You see Breezy. Breezy, what would you look like to someone's first appearance? Oh, what are your question? I look like a tree folk. Okay. A body of bark, no clothes, hair of vine and leaf,

swirling back behind my head. And not overly imposingly tall, and certainly more than just a little bit out of shape. Okay. I've got a lot of rings in my trunk. My midway trunk. That's pretty good. Yeah. If we were to buy stuff, you we'd find out.

That's who you are. Breezy, looking to your right, you can see a halfling. And to your left, you can see a fairy. You know from some short interactions you've had in your brief time in these dormitories, that one is glitzy and the other is Regan. Can I ask a favor? Do you think you could organize the initiative cards and the seating order, so that way we can see you were sitting next to?

I was going to do that. So this is Bargrim. Thank you. Bargrim. Gary. Regan. Way to go. Thank you.

Breezy, Plitzy. Well done. Walrus. I'm mad at the room. My dad's reading. Nobody asked. I'm telling you. I'm happy to introduce myself.

You know, when the time. You know, it's all right. Reed is. Not a rush. It's all right. Does that help? Yes, that helps. Thank you.

Thank you. My pleasure. Okay. Okay. I know that was a lot of setup, but Breezy. you realize that you have your choice over these myconid caps of somebody that you would want to trust

or betray. Whoa. Does anybody else see this chest moving around? That's like pretty crazy. Oh, let's say. Hey. Hi. Your voice is throwing me off.

I love it. What am? Repeat it back to you. voice our law is how... You know? Oh my God, Sam. I just... I'm not sure if it's... I'm not sure if it's such a good idea.

I've been having a entire coddlefish loops there. I'm not sure if it's a good idea for us to be sitting next to each other. I caught bombs and you're made out of bar. Oh. I could ignite you into fire and flames. God, that would be awful. Unless you've been rained on recently or you're in a forest with lots of humidity or your wood is water logged in any way in which

case fire, there's nothing to you. I found down those games. Waterlogged wood. Yeah. Are you feeling waterlogged? I'm feeling a little waterlog. I love your chill mellow bar. Well, yeah, it's just a way

that I do things, you know? Yeah. You would look like really good as a squirrel. You know, I've never thought about that before, but I think it'll be a little bit shorter because I haven't seen any foot to tall squirrels before.

Yeah, no, there aren't that I've seen. But I think I would make a good squirrel, too. Yeah. Well, that's kind of my goal or whatever. Is to turn me into a squirrel? Well, to turn everyone into squirrels, and I'm getting pretty close. Could I still have my bombs if I was a squirrel? Yeah, I mean, you'd be a pretty bomb-ass squirrel.

I like the way you said that. Yeah. If, let's see we get out of this together, I'm not sure how that would work. Could I, like, I don't know, hang out in your bow sometime? Yeah. Your bow? How do you pronounce it anyway? It's bow.

Yeah, can I hang out your bow sometime? Do you have like a little like spot inside of like one of those little not holes or something I could like rest in and stuff? If I was a school like I put my nuts, you know what I mean? Oh no, yeah. That's that's my whole plan or whatever is to kind of like, you know, become a god and then turn everyone into squirrels. Because it feels kind of nice when they rest up and down then. So that's my evil plan It doesn't seem so evil at all

You know, I was scheduled to get out of prison in 30 days And I chose to be in here So honestly, I don't think I make the best choices Squirrel, as long as I got my bombs It really doesn't matter by the way That's like totally gnarly What's been really nice getting to know you Yeah, well I think it's time we either betray each other

Or trust each other or whatever I know that's gonna be kind of scary I wonder what you're going to pick. I don't even know yet. I mean, that's kind of my whole thing. It's just kind of like, you know, in the moment. Like wind-driven, yeah. Yeah, you know.

Okay, well, good luck. I mean, I hope it all works out for us or whatever. Yeah, good luck to you. Okay, well, I'm going to go ahead and hide my answer right now, okay? No hard feelings. Just heads up. Yeah, no hot feelings. No hard feelings.

How do we vote? Just pick the one that you want to vote with in your hand, betray your trust, and then reveal it on go. Three, two, one, go. Can we get on the camera here? Just drop it like any- Oh, you get the- Well, I'm gonna have a hard time doing that.

Two, one, drop. Oh, review, that's good. Oh, you scumb-back. Oh, no. Scumbexed. Breezy. What does it mean? It means that you betrayed.

Yeah. That means that you get to move the chest wherever you want. Oh. Oh, okay. Well, that's fine. I'll move it to G4 RY-664. Oh, so nothing immediately happens to me.

Nothing immediate. Oh. Which one? Is this guy? Gary's the shield. Gary's the shield. Oh. Gary, why don't you roll a D10 for me?

Hey! Oh, who I move it to rules of death die? And then if he survives. No, I didn't realize that. Who's, no. Double scumbag. Yeah, no. Who's in?

Who's in the one? No, not the wall room. This is the list of people. I mean, just my. I'm moving to Gluck Shito. Where's Cluxudeau? Gluck Shadows got it. Yeah.

Who's Glub Shido, Mike? Glob Shido. Gluck Shido. Pluck Shido. Pinkamichasa, Globbshido. You can't have to do this. Malia cuttlefish sweepstakes. Oh, I hope you roll one right.

Just immediately. You will see a, sold separately, a blue alien. A blue alien. A blue alien. He looks like a tall pudgy worm with a mouth. Two bulging eyes, like frills and like long floppy ears. He's got a big bulbous, like elephant seal type nose. He's got four arms that are all kind of mismatched.

He's really kind of more of a background character, but he has a very, very demultible page, multiple comic backstory in the comics. So he's not very important. Umsrp. MSRP is $25.25. You roll a D-10. You roll a D-10.

Get a one. A nine. Nine. The chest moves by your very thought-braith. And looking over at Glubchito and the antithesis of nature that he is, it almost peaks open just a little bit, and you get a sense that there's this nefarious energy that could have pulled the very light,

the very soul from Gluck Shiddo, had it wanted to, but he remains Alain. I'm sorry I betrayed you or whatever, but that guy's a stone cold weird out. Cool that you betrayed me because you didn't send me to my death immediately after, so I guess there's a bonus.

No, not you, but that guy, I mean, he needs to die. And the death die reduces to a D-8. Last meta question. Do we know how many people have to die before this game ends? Or we don't. Do we even know that we're playing a game right now?

We're just eating next world. No, no, no. You were made aware of the nature of the game by the announcing rules, describing what the tokens in front of you did. That you would choose a neighbor and it would, revealing the goblet of friendship or the knife of betrayal, you'd be able to essentially protect yourself or try to harm others, hinder others. And that's exactly what you just did. So you showed the betrayal piece.

It's okay to say no to my question. No, I'm thinking about it. Yes. I think that they would have indicated that only half of you would survive this meal. What color is a home? You have to choose a neighbor. A little very pale yellow duck, like buttercup yellow.

Oh, that's really cute. Who is gold? Gold is... This is me. That is, um, that's, um, Galileo. Galo. The Waris. Is that the Laras?

The Wallace is what? I want to talk to Galileo. Oh, no. Talk to the Lars. Look Shito, looks over at this winter ladder and then immediately turns and sees Galileo. What does Galileo look like? What is his story?

Galileo looks like a turtle person. I don't know how to say this. Um, he's sitting at the table. He is. is green. He has the classic kind of like stomach, like kind of body, like the shell strapped to his back connects from the, connects from like this, almost like off yellow or like, I don't know. Yeah, that sort of soft under shell. Yeah, the classic under shell. And, yeah, I mean, turtle face, turtle body, turtle shell. How much should I be pictured?

the master guy from Kung Fu Panda. Is that sort of like the... A little bigger, not quite that old. Little bigger. I know he's more tortoisey, but like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. For, like, kind of friendly turtle, but not like crazy jack or anything,

that kind of normal body, but he just look sturdy and hardy. And he has a giant net that's nestled around the back of his shell, and at his side sits like a lunging javel. Okay. Knowing that there's great risk in the conversations that you have around this table, you turn.

And just at that time, another meal is delivered to everyone. A plate of deviled dragon eggs with under dark truffle oil drizzle. God, this is so delicious. Guess if I'm gonna die, at least it was yummy. Borgon. Okay, S. Spell jell jails. adventure in space.

Talk deep. That is what Bluntier says. You know, that's not what I'm going. I would like to, as an editor, the editor's note, editor's note. When we put this episode up, can we get our editor to fill in,

like, subtitles? Yes. Yes. Can we please get, and I don't care what it is, we just need subtitles. Oh, that's very funny. Oh, hello there.

This food is totally awesome. Is that what you said? Gluck shitter. Boggousa, Galileo. Ah, yes, I too wish they had pizza. As you say that, immediately, your plates are replaced with what looks like delicious pepperoni pizza. I peel away the first slice and the ooey-goey cheese drips off as I do. You get a long cheese stretch.

It's fresh out of the oven. I'll just look and just blink as I have my forearms, and they kind of articulate, like, action figures. Only for $25.99. Chuba, unka, bonga. I didn't it she ate. I jump. I'm just getting the shit out of me.

I heard the shit out of me. As best you can tell, he's endeavoring to show you one side of his corner or the other. Are you just gonna randomize this? Put it out there. Are we gonna get it on camera? Your machine. It's not doing.

Whoa. Okay. One, two, three, go. Globshitto, betrays. You have control of the chest. You may speak your strange glubshito language and command it to arrive at anyone else aside from yourself,

including the person that you're talking to. Up Dogg-drug to me. Is that everybody To Galileo Gallo Roll a D8 for me This is untwistable I too serve the dark one

That's what you hear As suddenly The pizza stretch continues to be pulled As he's being pulled away from the chair You watch as the chest opens like a mouth And he is pulled

by a beam of light, inescapable, whatever powers he had, whatever dreams for Godhood swallowed in an instant, and suddenly the chest clambers close. And all its left are the arc of strings cheese as Galileo is consumed and is no more. As I get stuck up into the air,

I try a silver ninja mask across my face and say, this was a Ninja Turtle's record. Okay, so it's back to D-10, and that you randomly assign where the chest goes, or does it go on the right? Oh, I have rules for that. No, I was not really stupid. You just betrayed and killed someone, right?

I think that's only if they both betray. Oh. No. I don't know. No, I think. Oh my God. I think that's only if they both mixture. I believe.

I could be wrong. What? Is that like what happens? So what happens if both people trust? then it sounds like it just moves away from what I'm what I'm it's gonna do the exact same thing I'm doing right now okay which is which is I'm gonna roll a dice to the certain determine if it's gonna go up the table or down the table it's gonna come towards me but it can't go back to the people that trusted because if it can

that's correct okay cool yeah the the point of trust is that it's gonna get it the fuck away from you yeah um it harmlessly hovers over bar and you realize that you can speak with Gloved Shido the betrayer or To your left, a duck named Queak. I look over at Globchidau, and I see what has just transpired. And my blood boils with the rage and poisons of 10,000 white hot sons.

But I know that in this moment, I cannot defeat him in hand-to-hand combat at this table. Babar would have not been dining on food. He would have not been dining on food. would have requested the finest whiskey and the finest cigar that they would have had to enjoy perhaps his last mortal pleasures. They produce a red spider whiskey, the very finest.

This is not their 25-year-olds. This is a 100-year-old barrel-aged vintage, single barrel. It's the nicest whiskey. It's the nicest whiskey that you would ever, ever endeavor to have. It took me 30 minutes to build that. I look to my left and I see this small duckling era copra. And I look at the mighty weapon that she is wielding. And I look to Quake and Babar says, taking a sip.

I understand your name is Quake. Yeah, but it's quick. Do you want some of my salad and not eat it anything? And they have just put down mixed greens with raspberry vinaigrette. I have decided. I like raspberries, but I want their smashed

in a veneerreact and ruined with vinegar. It makes them real sour and so sweet. Enjoy. I have decided that I will enjoy this fine whiskey and this wonderful cigar for this may be my last multer pleasures. I tried whiskey once, but it made my beak numb

and then I couldn't talk for like a d'all. We have one way out of this. Yeah. You and I must trust each other. I mean, you look really strong. I'm super strong too. I mean, I look like it because I'm real small and about top of the pillows right now. At a man with his dainty fork, but I'm really strong.

I promise. I can tell. That is why I have chosen to speak to you. That the lup shito cannot be defeated right here, right now, as I wish. to clutch him and splatter his brains across this table. So what you're asking is if we trust each other, then the first chance we get we're going to send that thing to Glep Shidder and hope he dies and went through sloop?

The longer that we survive, the longer that we can trust each other, the more likely that Gullochadr will burn through all nine hells, one after the other for eternity. You're so right about that I think we should make sure we're going to do that but only five people could survive and that drummer just got axed so we should figure out who else we're going to trust

how do you feel about that true guy? The tree man Yeah He was pretty adamant about turning us all into squirrels I have to be honest with you I have no plan of turning into a squirrel Me of Hump a duck link

What do you say? The time is dying. So wait, we're not going to kill each other for the ride, we'll trust each other. We must trust each other. That is the only way out of this. On the count of three. One, two, three.

We trust. We have both decided to trust each other. Okay. You trust. And the light of the chest glows a little bit more radiantly, a little more golden, a little brighter. And you watch, as it softly moves away from me, two spaces.

Dolores. As the chest begins to move, as the chest begins to move, I look to quake, and I say, when there is no peril in a task, there is no accomplishment when it is completed. These trials and tribulations are the fires with which our steel is meddled.

I like you. You're motivational. That's what I need. And then I look past Gull up Shiddle, and I look to the walrus. And my face returns not to that vengeance, not to that anger and hatred, but to that stone, stoic look. Almost a pity. Does the walrus have to immediately roll?

Because we both trust in? Yeah, that's what I thought. You roll, you fuck. You immediately roll. I do? Yeah. However. Check the rules.

No. You have 90% of it. It went down. Right. Okay. Because, because someone died, the death dice starts in an eight. Oh, no. And the next time it's gonna start at a six.

And the next time it's gonna start at a four. Yeah, okay, so it's gonna, it's gonna, it's easy, you have one in eight chance. Fuck! And there's a 50-50 chance of it moving two spaces up or two spaces down the table. That's how the fucking game works. This is gonna get really brutal before the end.

However, we need to check in with the walrus Before you roll. Before you die. And for no fucking reason, my music stopped working. Oh, you can say many. So you all get death words. We all get death words. Why does this?

What's that song from The Brave Little Toaster? Oh, God, the junkyard, it's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. God, that song slaps. But it's so existential. It's horrible. Mortifying.

Sorry, I'm just, I'm like, eating dress. I'm just very confused by my picture. Yeah, that's gonna feel real fucking mad. What am I'm supposed to do with these? Just die, man. Just don't die. Just don't roll on. It's that easy.

It's harder than it sounds. Oh, God, I need to pick up an, ah, what's my die? What's my, what's, this one? Let's try this. That didn't count. This is the funniest fuck. Okay. I love this game.

The walrus, they nearly had to carry you away from the previous arena, having witnessed the death of so many. John Claude especially hitting hard. Where are you, the walrus, is you sitting down staring at spicy chimera soup with basilisk tail broth? Damn, that she sounds like.

I haven't eaten a bite, and usually I have an endless appetite. That's right. I've eaten at least 3,800 grilled cheeses since the six. the games will start playing a lot of my quaint-ex out. And I'm gonna lean over to Glitzy. Glitzy, we can still do this. Me and you all right. Well, yeah, Buba too.

No. Can I hear this? Yeah, no, but... You're having a conversation with Quique at this time. You don't see none to see you. I don't want you to die, and I don't want me to die for sure. And Freibird, he had some photos of me. I didn't want to be questionable.

I'll get used one of my oldest friends. I know, and his memory's going to live on with you forever as long as you don't do anything stupid. You've got to survive, man. Well, that's what I mean. There's only five of us still are going to live. Right, and get him. Listen, all right? Because you're definitely, we should keep this guy.

And then we could kill the rest, you know? Yes! Oh! Oh, I'm trying! You suddenly... As you're staring, the water is getting brighter and brighter and brighter. I grab his hand and look into his eyes.

Look in the one! It's gonna be okay. The cat is gonna be okay. Oh my God. It puts the oil of your hands. It's gonna be okay. It passes over glub shito. I'm just...

I'm just... And suddenly the mouth of the chest keeps open. Should we big screen this? We should big screen the rolls. Yeah, I love that. Oh, it's a seven. It's a seven. Oh, I told you it was gonna be okay.

I told you. You from the beginning, you know? That's right. We knew this. The mighty tusks. The mighty tusks. We're gonna make it out okay. Here we are. Oh, no, no.

No, no. I think... Do we have to vote? Do I kill someone? I think you get to choose someone to kill you, and that guy right next he's eating pretty loudly. No, I think it's me and you. We trust each other, right? You're gonna...

Oh, okay. But if I talk to you, we trust each other, right? Oh, yeah, of course. All right. We just need to prove our trust. You didn't see me. I trusted this three guy, and he betrayed me. No offense. Oh, right.

Well, let's do it then. None taken or whatever. This is for you, Johnny. for you, Johnny. Johnny. Incredible. Three, two, one, reveal. Oh, thank God.

Both trust. Trust. I will roll, and it's going to ascend two spaces back to Babbar. The death die is now a D6. Oh, God, Babur, Babar! Hold on, don't roll it yet, don't roll it yet. Are you gonna have a little bit of role player?

What are you doing? Oh, God! The illuminating light of the chest passes once again over Glob Shiddo as he. Is Glob Shino to my left? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God.

Continues to consume the spicy chimera soup, just reaching into the boiling hot broth, like putting your raw hand into a hot pot. And it, again, illuminates you as you're deep in conversation with Quik, who you've grown more and more interested in. I'm swarling this fine whiskey and puffing on the cigar. It's a big Zubon cigar.

It bulges out at the center and sort of tapers out at the end. It's the perfect blend of savory and spicy. You're getting notes that you didn't think were possible from the tobacco. I see that, I'm having this conversation with Quick, I see the chest come back and I say, that doesn't look good, my friend. No. No, it does not, Quake.

But you're strong, right? You could, you could, you could, and think it's got shit on you. The problem is, Quique. that strength alone will not win this competition. All right. If you only knew the things that I have done. You only knew the things I'd done. I may be small, but I won crazy-ass motherfucker.

I can sense it. I can sense it, Chris. That... That's why we bonded. That is why we have chosen to ally ourselves together. Yeah. This might be my end. Your memory will live on with me by bar

And I'll make sure that I do what you would want me to do Quake And kill the shid out of that gluck shito You must, you must First and foremost, you must Everyone's an agreement to kill a glove jitter I'm just like having with the time of my life I'll look at least, see it all going to pop out

And then it'll just learn barbibar, Dobari, Bbar, king of elephants. It occurs to me now. Oh, my God. How far I've gone, how far I have fallen. But if I can make it, if I can make it just a little bit farther,

the ends will justify the meat. If you had a cult, I would be whatever you're out. Acolytes and would help kill thousands of people in your name. I look up to the chest. I look down at Queak and I say, you may yet be an acolyte. Oh, God, that's good. I knew you had an ending, by bar.

I knew it. I take a long pull from the whiskey. Give me some of that, buddy. The whiskey? Yeah. I pour some into her glass. They brought over the bottle and another sniffter. It immediately lands next to you.

And you get the sense that if you wanted to order anything at all. Oh, no, I want some of the bars. I pour her some, and then I would top off my glass from the decanter. I'll pull down my wings and cheers with you. We cheers and then I say, Just then it's to trust.

To trust. Two small bowls of displacer beast marinated olives are put down in front of you. They're actually really difficult to pick up. Oh, yeah. Three, two, one, reveal. We both trust. With a trust, I will see if it ascends or descends.

So what happens if one trusts and one betrays? The betrayer gives to choose where it moves. So no matter where it is. So basically, what if both people betray? Then it stays where it is. And then you roll again. Right. But then if the person who rolls dies, the betrayer then instantly has to roll.

So if the, basically, the betrayer, so if the chest is over you and then Quicken betrayed you. She could have moved it anywhere. anywhere. She moves it anywhere. We'll try it moves it anywhere. Got it. Or leave it where it is, right? Uh, yeah.

I'm switching over to mystery because my YouTube playlist is terrible, and I don't know how any of you do this with YouTube. It's a nightmare. Oh. You must try this daffy. You must try this daffy. Um, oh. Uh, it moves towards me. Two?

Yes, and so it lands on Bar-Grim. Oh, but he's the restroom while. I'm not wrong three. Can you bring me one of you? Yeah. And as it lands, you'll need to roll a death die for real this time. And because we just had an eight, a six, it's now a D4. It'll be it.

Be my throne. It's a D what? Four. It's a D4. Oh my God. I can have Gaeli and Parker just be eating it. You see me through? The chat starts to make it over to its way over to a surly dwarf.

What have you been doing with your time? The duck sitting across through you is largely engaged in whiskeys and cigars with the loxodon on the other side of the table. And immediately to your other side is this strange animatronic man who can't stop shaking and sparking. I zoomed for him. What kind of Wazark and Dr. Cooley may you? Anything that you just said. But all I know is, shucks, I love this chimera and Displace for Bees stew.

It's not as good as our $5 happy hour special of kids tomato soup from the can. But it'll do, it appears. Kids' tomato soup in a can suddenly arrives in a heaping bowl. Well, chucks. Well, this isn't. but it'll have to do. A cold beer suddenly arrives almost instantaneously, cracking itself and setting it down on the table before.

Shops, I'm pretty sure that's actually a violation of IP, but you know what? Today could be my last. Bonds up. Which are the ancestors regards do you choose to swear fealty to? Well, you know, I don't really have any ancestors, except for my adventure and creator, the B.A. and C. Zerve.

Well, technically, the scientist that he paid. But it's kind of like him because he funded it. He was in his will after he died in a terrible volcano accident. You know what I mean? It took him 64 times to get it right. By the way, my name is G4R.R. 64. But you can just call me Gary. Everybody does. Be all right.

But as in true, this is all powered on souls. Do you even have a soul? Yeah, I think I'd do from a certain point of view. I think that's why I was in prison. There's a lot of dark magic going on to make an atopaton as functional as I am, you know what I mean? And shucks, I mean, I think if this goes really well,

maybe I'll star in a hit video game series that a bunch of Zubers will love and get obsessed with. They'd be a lot of money and a lot of convoluted deep lore That doesn't really make any sense Anyways, we don't have time for all that The doom divorce comes for me But I know that clangering in silver beard

Watches over me And will protect me In my hour of glory Shudge, I think you'll be fine, fellow And I sort of just closed my eyes And I'd let... Bargroom, you're the best friend I've ever known Your time isn't now

Oh god, hold on. I need to find a better dive. It makes sense. Do you hear when he said it goes to a two and then to a one? If he survives, yeah, it goes through two and then to a one. If you pass the two, just the next person at first time. It's just a guy. But then it will go up to, and back up to a six when the next person dies.

Yeah. Yeah. This is too stressful. I don't need this. It's supposed to be Christmas. Christmas is over. Even boxing days go. D4?

Yeah. Oh. I don't want to drop it. You close your eyes, Bargrim, waiting what fate you have is for you, and you don't hear it. You don't experience nearly anything. The rest of you all, however, watch as the person of this Bargrey gets pulled and suction into the chest.

But by the time you have the chance to grimly open your eyes and realize what's happened, you are already in the mouth of the chest just as it's closing. It seems that Klan Geddon did not need an additional god. And you are not protected by his divine provenance. Bargrim is no more. I guess I should have praised harder, huh? I'm thinking I ruined all this shit.

I was going to say. I told you. I love the dedication now, man. We got to get a picture of that. We got to get a picture of that later and post in the Discord. The death is going to start at a D6. But first, it's going to move. It's going to move up towards Regan.

Mm-hmm. That's going to first. Hey! You sound like Kevin Bacon, and fucking shrapers. A little bit. You're the second best friend I've ever gone. And now you're the first. So you and all see Regan.

He is a half-elfth, druid of the... Halfling. Sorry, Halfling. I just have half-elves on the brain always. Halfling, Drew to the Land Swamp. He is from Agway, but way out in the sticks of Agway. Wickerwallow Swans. Yeah, you know, he talks a little lightless.

Mudd have grown up with a pet possum a little bit. You know, his name's Regan, but it ain't spelled like you think it's sped. All right? And you can see that he's wearing, you know, some real tough overalls, good pair of working boots. You'd have a nice straw hat, but that hat's awfully beat up after these cuttlefish sweepstakes. It's a little sin. If Regan makes it out of this, he's going to buy himself a new hat, first off.

Then, other than that, you might wonder how Regan got this far as he did. It's certainly because he can read, and he doesn't lie that anybody might insinuate that he can't read because he's from the swamp. That's just ignorant. So he's kind of Mr. Magood his way through here And as this treasure chest Appears above Regan's head Well

I suppose It's time for me to Face music Is that right, Dungeon Master? No, it just moves to you To start the round... Because there's been a death Because there's been a death.

Yeah, gosh. Well, could I have a prime red, please? A single prime rib arrives at the walrus, but for you, they sat down some moonshine. Oh, that's... And a giant plate of roasted harpy wings with ranch dressing. Why did you think...

Why'd you assume that I would want to eat this? You see that everyone is getting a plate of this at this point. This is... That's just what? Is this because I'm from the swamp? I think that I just eat... Marking wings all the time? You see the pyramid head?

Yeah, I'm talking to you. I don't want this. I want a regular sandwich. Just a regular... I'm just a regular guy. There's absolutely no need to make any kind of assumptions. Sandwich is immediately brought over to you. Thank you.

Plain white bread, very limited condiments. Perfect. Lettuce meat. Cheese. Anyway, Mr. Tree, I noticed that you're a tree. There are plenty of trees that are just, you know, out in the swamp. Well, I think that that is the case. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, there's also plenty of your kind out in this one. What's that supposed to mean? Well, just like Foncea fellas, you know? I see. Well, you got a nice hot. I think you would really look at a little beat up. First order of business when I win this whole thing is buy a new hay.

Well, maybe wish you're one. I guess if I'm a god, I can just make one come into existence. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, yeah, you definitely could. Yeah. Let's get down to brass tacks. Okay. Well, I don't like talks, but sure.

Look, you're a treat. Yeah. I'm from the swam. Why don't you say we trust each other? Well, I kind of like what you're saying, and I want to win this time. Well, the easiest way to do that is to trust each other. Chish... Are you ready?

The count of three. Two, one, go. Oh. You fell for it, big stupid tree. You're all right now. You dumb son of a bitch. The only thing that's got you going for good is that I hate glup shit on more.

So... You're like really men or whatever. Oh, yeah. You become a squirrel. You're just going to be the worst squirrel. Well, we'll see about that. We will see about that. We certainly, well.

Good luck, Mr. Shitto. He-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. And so you send the chests to Gloopschido? That's right. Glip Shido, you're standing in front of a huge bowl of Crackin' Inc. Seafood Chowder. And not standing, sitting. It's hard to tell.

But the chest immediately starts to swim over the table, the spotlight of it over you, brighter and brighter and brighter. What do you do in this moment? I'll see that it's coming up and I'll look down I'll just say, heat but to swamp people on the history channel. The death diet is a D6. If we could get it on the big screen. Oh, you can't fucking read that shit at all.

Where's like a really high contrast? We'll use this guy. This little, it's a super high contrast. I'm going to go down into history as being the murder of blood shit. Suck it, Mr. Schitt. I'll just look, I'll go, ah. Well, that's a nightmare. Glub Shito,

you watch as the chest opens, and in a thin strand, Glop Shito is slowly, spaghetti, his mouth creates an opening, like, so he is spaghettified. It's like, uh, uh, it's seeing someone take one of those oversized silver diner straws and sucking, uh, uh, uh,

transparent flon off of a table. It just disappears noodling into space before. The chest claps to a close and a splat. Jackie Altrade says, my goodness, glub to shudderines. That's actually, man. He did get glubs to shittareens. That's very sad.

I really enjoyed them. I hope we see him again in future episodes. I need to roll. This is your real. This is your real first. Okay. It moves towards me to Queak. Oh, no.

And that's a D4. Oh, no. And yes, that is correct. The death die starts at a D4. Oh, quite. You have the authority to connect with the person that you've been talking to, Bbar, who you've been sharing with me. Oh, I don't have to automatically roll.

No. Oh, ah. The reset, yeah. Quique, this is the first time you'll have see Babara show a little of emotion after all this. It will not end this way. It will not end this way. No, and I'm picky you to talk to you, obviously,

but though you started talking me first, I was gonna pick you anyway, because I don't know who's on the other side over there. It's a robot, some kind. You know what we must do. Well, club show's dead. Small victories, quick. I was prepared to call Glob Sheldman.

Clashel is dead. You know who's next to our sights? No. That horrific tree person. Yeah. The tree must die. We do not become squirrels this day. I don't want to become a squirrel,

because I'm already, I'm not going to hit up. All the Peter squirrel would make me a little bit bigger than up right now, which could be kind of cool. But I don't want to leave in trees. We must, one of us, one of us must trust, the other must betray. Okay. That person will be able to move this demonic device.

Okay, well can I betray you because I'm Tristan you, I did what you said, so can I betray? I'm really, really chosen to betray. But in the betrayal, I'll set it over there. I must trust that you will move this chest away from me. Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll set it up with that tree guy and I'll hope we'll smite him. Promise?

We have to. Okay. You have to understand that I have severe trust issues. You must be really scared now, but I promise. I promise with as much as much as you. as much as I'm small, and I just spit it all over myself because my beak is enough for that whiskey I drank. Now I will kill a tree guy if I can.

Quake, yeah. I do not fear death. I do. I do. I do. Well, I do not. I do. Are we alive?

This is our plan. We can sway this. We can, the tree person is the farthest point away from both of us as well. It works. I'm not going to get them away from us. Are you ready? I'm ready. Breezy, you're the third best,

Freddheim. On the count of three, two, if I die. I feel so bad I betrayed you, but I told you just gonna do it so is it really betrayal, who knows? I am trusting you, Quake. Do the right thing.

Okay. Shut. I'm sorry. If I die, I get to play that bar. I don't know how that works. You can play Regan. No, I don't think you can at Regan this year.

Yeah, we're gonna have to figure that out. It is a D4. It is indeed a D4. Breezy, what have you been doing? You've been conversing with Lipsy. I'm looking at the fucking agonizing death of three other people who are eating dinner. What do you mean?

This is very uncool. We understand that this is, we're actually taking some shortcuts narratively. There would be meals where perhaps people wouldn't initiate this trust at all. This seems to be going on and on and on, and your appetite persists. Your served farm to table braised Gothias tree shoots.

Oh, he's gonna roll. I'm gonna level with you, man. I just watched a good person get sucked up into the chest like a silver diner's draw. This is very un-cooled, man. I mean, that's where I'm at. That's a two. You can't save.

No, that's perfect. I'll roll this one. The chest stops, and it opens and shudders for a moment. And as it opens inside, you can hear, oh, and it closes. He's trying to get out. Oh, mushroom lamb. Why is this? It's fucking kills me.

Holy fuck. So I used to pass it now. You now get to engage one of your neighbors. You can turn and talk to Regan and talk to Regan. and choose whether you want to trust or portray, or you can turn and talk to Glyt and choose whether you want to trust and betray. All right, well, I know we had our misunderstanding before,

but there is time to make a mess. And let me start by saying that if we work together this time, our riches in Agua, we would say are gonna be fatter than a swam parson with the mumps. And you're beginning watching this. Swamp possum be so far, I guarantee that. Oh my glove. Oh, my glove.

Oh, my glove. And you also, you know, you don't have to choose Oregon. I'm just saying. It's locked out. All right. So we're just going to, we're just going to, we're just going to do the juice. You're starting to appreciate the gravity of having the chest over you is that the person that you trust, if they betray you and you attempt to betray them, that means almost very, very likely death for you, a 50-50 chance. It's never too late.

just trust. Never too late. You know how to make Lobster Newberg? You're taking order. Lobster Newburgh is brought to you post-taste. Never too late to trust. Never too late to trust. Never too late to trust. All right. All right, Mr. Tree?

Yeah, Mr. Reagan. All right. It's Oregon. No, it's Regan. Don't do that. No, it's Regan. No, it's Regan. It's just...

Trust each other. All right, let's trust. Trust down. Three, two, one. Real. Oh, no. Well, my friend, I will see you in hell. What are you now?

It stays on you and you roll a 1D2. If you get a 1, you die. Oh, hold on, no, no, you don't know that. No, that just fell. Do you about, yeah? What does the head look like so that I can see it on the screen? So it says, I don't have like a better one and it says, well, no, because this is, this is the video.

I can just, this has a 1. It's hard to see it. It's hard to see. It's hard to see. That one's better. That one's better. Show the camera so we can see this. So there's a one or a cracket.

There's a Cuddlefish sweepstakes. That's heads. Yeah, that's two. That's good. And then that's death. You will rue the day that you ever tried to cross Regin' Glitter Jam. So we want to see the couple of love with you.

You are regan, but you are gonna be gone. But you are gonna be gone. Well, see about that. That's very funny. That's very funny. Yeah, we'll see about that. Yeah, we'll see about that. See you.

Ah, tree bitch. You watch as first the bark goes, and then the next ring goes, and then another, uh, uh, uh, and he pulled section by section, branch by branch, twig by twig, all leaves suddenly lift from the, uh, the, um, seat and get pulled into the mouth of the chest before it comes down with a wooden crunch. And in that moment, Regan then realizes

because he was also the betrayer, that he must immediately roll. My question is, does it become a 1D4? It's a D2? Or it was a D4? Was it already a D4? I actually don't know. I thought it was a D6.

And I think the next one's a D4. Yeah, I think the next one's a D4. Yes, it's an immediate D4 role. Doesn't reset, is my question. Because there's a death. So I died from the D6 roll. Yes. But because it was double betray,

that's the one that comes with an outcome where the person who also betrayed must also roll. So does that mean he just automatically That's right. And my question is the reset to a D4? Reset to a D4. Okay. So you have a D4 chance of.

Riega goes, Hey, ha, ha, ha. Oh, fuck. Hold on, which ones are, this one's more visible? That's pretty visible. Can you see that? Well, I mean, it's gonna be points you no matter what. Let me just see you, when you get sucked to hell.

That was better. That one's good. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, fuck. It's a three. It's a three. Uh, breezy. Oh.

Well, see you, tree, bitch. And the chest moves. It took me 30 minutes to make that character. That's very funny. That's very funny. And we'll talk about, you're gonna have to inherit one of the characters. You can't see the only one?

Oh, no. Oh, or queek. There's quake. But it depends on which one of our characters die. There's one more characters that. We'll figure out. If the Walper has died. Sorry, there are two more.

characters that are going to die. No, just one. One, two, three, four. Only six left? Yeah, there are only six left. Only one more character needs to die. Oh, I didn't write down Glop Shito. He's so easy to forget.

We're so close. You got it correct in front of you, though. You got it correct with the initial. Yeah. Yeah, okay, so this happens. You're right. So if it's only one more, then it's actually... And it's a D2.

My apologies, it's a D2. Yes. I was doing that. Oh, wait. So she'll read the D2. I'll roll. If it's supposed to be a D2. Because it would have been 10, 8, 6, 4, 2.

Yes. It should have been. All right. Redo. I need corn, though. I don't have a D2, so someone can lend me one. This cursed piece of shit? Yeah, thank you.

You got 50-50 shot, you jerk? And then I wipe my hands again and I, boom, and I... Oh, fuck. He's gone. Riegen, you watch as a... Breezy and Regan go very quickly. They both betray and the light of the chest turns red.

And you are all hit by this light as you look inside this impossible blinding light as Breezy gets pulled and then Regan almost immediately after him. You can see his limbs and legs hitting the side of the chest trying to stop it, but the force is too strong. He's pulled free from his clutches and with a wooden crunch, the chest closes.

And I slam his glass down on the table. As you do, the dormitory around you shatters. The table in front of you melts away. All of a sudden, you realize the five of you are all standing here. Standing here. I want a piece of it. Standing here in a new space entirely.

Blinking, it's hard to adjust your eyes. But it seems to be middle of the day, A beautiful area, and looking around, there's an empty stadium all around you. You look down and you're standing on turf, brilliant neon green almost grass. And in each of your hands, looking down, you realize you've got a bat, a muscle wood bat.

It's time to play the sport of the gods. As it is known, in celestial sports ball, is also called Fleem-flip. Oh, fuck. Ha, rest in kindling. He's going down. We're yelling timber. I'm too attached to all of them.

Dude, the stakes are high. Very near the end now, and still my favorite champion persists. I will savor our meeting should he survive the final round. The walrus is my sweet baby boy, and I need him to win. I have all fingers crossed for the Walrus. I think I speak for everyone here when I say we volunteer to die instead of of queak, queak the mighty. Someone's going to get quacked.

I love that. Every good, Barry here. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Adventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including monthly movie nights and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, Shroud over Salt Bar. You can also go to the crooked mood.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Mood, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition.

And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thanks. Goodbye. Do we need large bottle caps? You need your bottle caps that will represent your players. That was your original one if you'd like it back. This was your original one if you'd like it back. No, I want Queeks. So you get...

Queets is the right, that's the shield. No, I got Sammy Ladams. We're Sammy Flames. That was the shield. That's great. That was the shield. That is Queen. This is the Walrus, Glitzy, and Bevar.

You're all wandering around this Sleen Flell arena. Some of you are familiar with the sport. Very familiar. Others, less so. but it's a game you probably played at least once in pickup games. The rules are very simple in a traditional game of Fleen Flell. There are two teams of four or five on each side,

and there's a tower, a tower that's equipped with a bell. And on the top of the bell, not on top of the bell, on top of the tower, there's this bell that rings indicating that a point has been scored when it is hit by the magical orb that you do see sitting there in the center of the arena, an orb that seems to float always, always perpetually, three, maybe four feet up in the air. You're also familiar with its magical properties. If you hit it, it gains momentum and bounces around like a son of a bitch.

The AC and momentum and saving throw DC for the ringer are always exactly the same. same. Resting, it stops at eight and stops in the space that it is now where it would be at eight, but if you were to hit it with, let's say, 10 damage, it would go up to 18 momentum, 18, AC, and then a DC of 18, and in the direction that it would go in. So for every five feet, it would go 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, and so on, bouncing off of the perimeter of the arena itself. You don't see an opposing team. All you see are, you see are. looking around the five some of you

strangers some of you have known each other for three days and you hear a voice yell out oh my god it's a game of fleen-fell that's correct the last game that we played is a game of the gods a game they call

Flein-fell the very one that we should be sportscasting for announcing for right now well they're going to play Fleen I don't see any teams or anything like that. No, it's a game to the death. Only one will remain after this final game of Flamefell. If they're struck by the ringer, they themselves will be destroyed.

Jesus. How do they start? Well, a toll will ring out. A toll when they're all ready to go, and they've said their final goodbyes, perhaps, to themselves, or whatever gods they worship. And that's it. We're just going to watch.

them run around, hit the ball, try to destroy each other? Well, they can use the ringer, or they can do it the old-fashioned way. This is barbaric. Put yourself where you want to start anywhere in the arena. Do you see the blue marker anywhere? I had to draw the map. Right here.

Thank you. Because I'm going to draw a cardinal direction thing here. Thank you. Let me say, put ourselves wherever we want. What does that mean? That means that on the battle map, you can position yourself wherever you want to go. when initiative is rolled.

But like against a wall or like at an edge or just like you could be up on the flea ball? You could be within five feet. You can't be on the square of the flea-flin-flow ringer ball, but you can be adjacent to it if you want to start there to something so potentially deadly and dangerous. Remember if it hits you, it will destroy you. Now, I will say that,

I will allow critical successes on the um, dodging out of the way of the ringer. So that's the only, because the, the DC for the ringer could be like 30 or 40 or 50, depending on how much one of you crushes it. And I don't want that DC to immediately take someone out necessarily. You still have a 5% chance and you have all these wonderful twists that our audience is so graciously given us. So there's always a chance that you may survive. Oh boy But tactically speaking

Yes you may choose where you want to start on the Fleen Flell Arena anywhere in a corner Adjacent to the ringer Somewhere on one side of the other Next to one of the other players Settle down where you want to find yourselves And when you give me the green light The toll will sound

Drinking a tall, cool Blood Wiser I'm going to walk right up to it Light screen Cool on Actually. Is this version favored dext strength, folks? Yes, the bat that you have to hit it would be something

you're proficient in and something that could use dexterity or strength. You can also use spells to impact the ringer. You can use area of effect spells to impact the ringer. It'll go in a random direction. Only by a melee attack could you choose the direction. Have we had a long rest? Oh, the banquet is a long. My apologies. Anyone who still had used any of the resources from the last, yeah, that meal was extremely refreshing. That won't be true for Queak and Gary because you guys just started, but Glitzy, Walrus, Babar, you are at a full tank.

I can't believe three of us made it this far with our original characters. I know. I literally can't. And we have a lot of close calls. You really? Yeah, it's been very close. I'm good where I am. You good where you are? Yeah. Everyone thumbs up? I'll start there. I can't believe that it. It all comes down to this last game of competitive Sleen Flell. It's going to be a free-for-all here in beautiful, wherever the hell it is that we are. I think it's time for everyone to roll for initiative. A natural fucking 20. Nice. I'm going to put us two, though.

But fuck, I almost wish I didn't blow my 20. Okay. Okay, I'm going to assume that that's going to put you in front. I got a 24. 24, Bavar. 22, so Gary gets to go first. Amazing. I got a 21.

21 for Glyssie. You guys are killing. 12, 18. Okay. Now, bear in mind, given the chaotic nature of the ball bouncing, it is entirely possible that you might not even see your turn during a single round. This thing is going to be moving like a crazy son of a bitch.

You know how Fleen Flo is played. Let's go. Gary, you find yourself the first to add. the closest to the Fleen Flo Ringer. And how does it work, work, how can I choose where it goes once I hit it or no? You can choose the direction. Presumably, you know, if you're moving right up to it,

you've got a few different ways you can hit it. You won't get it back. You can hit it in any of the cardinal direction and go this way. You've got your cardinal directions here, if you'd like to reference them. North is gonna be the TV, South will be Derek, and the numbers will be associated with each.

If we need to do scatters, and I will do my best to count and help be the game, game coordinator. Thank you. And I will do my best. Just don't yell at me because I'll cry. I'm a wizard, so it's time to use my wizard's staff. And I'm gonna pull out a giant tower of Budweiser at beer cams.

That is my wizard staff. That is very funny. That is so fucking funny. It mechanically is a lance. And I will then crack open one. I'll pour down a Budweiser. As I'll start to get in power, that is my version of raging. My reach extends by five feet with a lance, so I have a 15-foot reach.

Oh shit. You don't have to move if you don't want to. If you want to change the angle, you can too. It starts at eight, right? Yeah, resting is eight. Okay. I'm just gonna just reach out and smash it as hard as I can. Which direction would you like to send it? I think this way. This angle? Yeah. Okay. That works. I hope I'm not standing in a bad place for it. Actually, hold on. I'm going to go, boom. Can I get it from here? That's more than 50. I mean... I can throw it 20 feet. Do you have to pick it back up if you do that? No, I'm a giant barbarian. Okay, I trust you. It's Eiser! So you're gonna hit it in this direction. Yep. Okay.

Just got to roll more than an egg to hand. It's 20 feet? It's 20 feet. He says he can throw it 20 feet. Okay. I'm gonna throw it 20 feet. Uh, right. Let's listen to that. Yeah. You don't need any. Okay, yeah. I hit it. So that's D12 plus D6 cold damage. Damn. But that's a C2-12 maybe. 7 plus 7 is 14 points of damage. So that's 22.

And I have multi-attacked, does that count? I believe that we gave you, when you were a monk, we gave you the rest of your attacks. So if you have two attacks, is that how you're, you're taking one attack action, but it's like packing it into the thing. So I'm gonna say that if you have multiple attacks on your turn and you can do stuff like that.

Throw up a bar. Yeah. This is the sandbag challenge. Oh, you know. Yeah, this is the sandbag. That's a fucking perfect way of putting it. I can throw that. That is fucking perfect.

So we can attack each other and just kill each other. Yeah. Okay. Jesus. Gosh, I get it again. Uh, well, that's a good question. Is it now 22 after the first attack? Yes.

So you have to get higher there in 22. 11 plus, which is close. Probably eight. Probably plus eight. Oh, shut, well, I miss it. So it's just gonna go off, 22. Okay. So you inflict 14 points of momentum to it,

bringing it up to 22. 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10. Here, glitzy can hit it. Resting is eight, so it should move 9-8. She gets a chance to hit it. Oh, that's right. As it passes you, you get your attack of opportunity. She wants.

She just let it pass by. It is important for everyone to keep track of the reactions. Reactions is always very important. Glissie's gonna let it snowy. Okay. 9-8. 9-8. It comes to a resting stop there.

Wow, Gary really has a long wizard staff. You can say that again. Shucks, hey, hey. Barbar, you're up. Use this one. Oh, yeah. It is way, way too far away from me to do anything. So instead what I'm going to do is

the actual 1d4, hunters mark it. Hunters mark the ball. Yeah. Oh, it's 90 feet. Is it supposed to be a creature? Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna give it to you. I mean, I can just divine favor myself instead,

which is totally fun. Actually what I'll do is thunderous smite, is concentration up to a minute, and it's the first time I hit with melee weapon, so I will cast Thunder's smite. Okay. And I actually like where I'm standing, I think, so I don't even think I want to move.

I'm watching this ball fly around the field with just absolutely like hunter eagle eyes. And the weapon that I've been given to swing with is now crackling with this heavenly power. That's my shirt. Okay. Bavarra standing there, he seems to be readying himself for the coming attacks, not really close to the ball.

I wonder if he's planning something. Glitzy is here up. Glitzy is going to shoot the ball directly towards a week. Yeah. Oh yeah, you can. And she's going to use Eldridge Blast to do that. Yeah. So it's resting.

Natural 20. Oh! Oh! Squibb! Squibbh! Squibbh! This is the greatest. I thought that's right called that Lifsky.

So, well, I mean, I guess it depends on whether the natural 20 was on the first hit or the second. I didn't think when I rolled both of them. They both of what? The first hit would have raised the momentum. Because it's an eligible glass, so they hit simultaneous. It's fine because the 20's automatic hit. no matter what. So even if the AC goes skyrockets, you're good.

Yeah, well, that's why I would land both. So it would land both. You're good. And so. If she had done the 21st, then the next one would have been a 14. And the 80s you were gone on. I risked killing myself here too. See.

That's fair. But I'm going to, we're still just figuring it out. So let's say that it went 1420. That's fair. I didn't think about that. I mean, it's not that much damage. It's 10 points. Well, no, actually.

I'm going to get 10. 18 points of... 18 points of damage. Gets us up to 26. Straight to quick. What was the nature of your attack? Just Eldridge Blast? Yeah.

Okay. 25, 24, 23, 22. It's just a glitter bomb. 21. Now, you have your reaction. As soon as it enters your reach, you can use your reaction to attempt to hit an EC21 creature coming at you. If you fail, it will still...

You still have a chance to dodge out of the way. And so the dodge will be at a DC20 because it'll move five feet into your square and then bounce away. So you're fine. You don't have to use your reaction to jump out of the way, correct? You just every time the ball, like, is going to hit you. That's correct.

Because it might pass. You do not have to use your reaction to dodge out the way. It's a saving throw. So, the reaction is just to be able to get an attack. You may use your attack of opportunity now, or you can just rely on jumping out of the way. But. So 21 to hit.

I'm so drunk. I'm a speak, yes and no. But as I see this ball moving towards me, I donned my mask and activate my rage. Which way, quack. Dark quech, dark. Dark queen, duh. And I will try and crush it that way, if I can.

I will recklessly attack. Okay. The AC is 21. Yep. Okay. I'm going to bend your luck. Oh, my God. And you subtract a one from it.

Gosh. Okay. I think it's no matter one. 12 plus what? I think it's 12 plus eight. Which is not it. That gives you to 20. Yeah, it's plus eight.

And then minus one is 19. So you get a 19. Now you need to roll a saving throw to see if you get killed instantly. Whoa. I have an advantage on saving throw. A deck save? Yes.

So I have to be the 20? Yes. And I have a plus. The deck save? On Queak. Dex, it's plus more of Quake, yeah. What was that on set? You already have six.

Okay. Well. You have a plus four, so you need a 16. What's that one set? Nine. You don't have to twist these. Oh, oh. Can I now have twists?

Yes. But the twists are just one additional re-roll. You don't get it. What do you need to? Jesus. 16 or higher. Twist again. Mr.

Thank you, Chad. Thank you. Yeah, this is gonna be... Natural one. All right. This is my name. Don't use that die. I just like that die.

I just like that die. You're just like that die. You're not so big. Use the obsidian. That's so cool. That's that one. Oh, yeah. Pull the twist.

You got it. Oh, my. Note, an eight. I don't know what. You're really looking like a 17 from here. Holy shit. Are you there? No, I was one over.

How many? What's that? That's a five? He's only a one last. No, that was the last one. That was the last one. He's, yeah. Joey shit.

Joe is so right. Chance to die. How out of the nicest duck you've ever met? Or a twisted fucking tanker. So, Creek is eviscerative. The ball flies towards Cleek's explode in all directions. Just like all of you is wearing this belt.

And it seems like the belt and the ringer interact at the same time. And what was a duck explodes into feathers and viscera and violence in all directions, revealing the essence of Queak, a soul on the inside, and you see it get pulled into the ringer as it continues on its path. Yeah, because it's at 20.

Yeah, yeah, right? So it goes to 20 after it collides with Queek. And then give me a D8 roll Derek, but we roll 7, 6 to 5. Three. It's going directly east. So it will be 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 15, 14, 13, 12. Give me another roll. Don't re-roll.

3, 4, 5. 7. What did I say? 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9. 8. And it comes to rest. And you can see it crackling with this energy. It seems to have been suffused by Quake's essence.

Quake is off the board. I'm sorry, Mace. You showed up to play games. and just get absolutely a strike. It's only an hour to make this, Gary. And then it took me 10 minutes to just match you.

I watched you do it. I miss John Claude. I'm sorry. I know. What John Claude does John Claude done? It's really all over. I'll say, I'll say, I'll say. What does it say?

When the sun has set, no candle can replace them. Oh, damn. That's so sad. That's so sad. Glitzy, good turn. The Walrus. It's the walrus's turn. Holy shit that was violent.

Yes, it was quite gross when I did it too. Hit, quip, Glitzy would have said, boom. And she just looks really sad. Damn. She just looks really sad. Poor. Boom.

Boom. Love it. Oh, wow. Boom. It's Lexia actually understood the reference. Holy shit. We got some real ones in here. Oh, God.

What do I even do here? I predicted this. I'm dead. So if I should. With the spell, what happens? The same thing that would happen. Just like you just . You roll the spell, yeah, yeah, you have to be able to hit it.

The damage to turn it's up on it goes. It automatically fails saving throws. You do damage to it, and then you can kind of pick a direction that would be reasonable for you to shoot it into, right? Like, you can't make it to come back towards yourself. Right. It's gotta be, you know. We can move and change your angle, right? I could move, but I kinda like this spot.

I don't blame you. I'm just going to, I'm gonna wait and see how things go. And I am, what's the range on this? 90 feet, 5 foot radius here. I'm going to just shoot a frost. Mace, if you want, you can play tank hammerfall for a while. You can be one. We're gonna fronced at it.

Let's just come behind the desk with you. I just do the announcer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, quite a career. No, if you want to yell out announcements, I can be this guy and you can be the other guy. Wuss, do the other guy's voice? All I have to do is talk like an announcer like this.

All I have to do is talk like an announcer like this. Yes. Yes. Very exciting game. It's a big game. That's right. 17 points of damage. It's 25 total.

And I'm going to send it here. I'll send it. So I think generally it would bounce here. Oh, yeah. If that changes your thought process. And then this would bounce here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But pass you, right? Yep. Yeah. Okay. I will send it. I'll send it this way. Sure. 24, 23, 22, 21, 2019, 18, 17, 16, 15, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8. Rip tank, Amber, Paul.

That's so true. And a tragic announcing accident. The Walrus is also playing it cautious. They've all seen how deadly the ringer is. Twitter? Shucks reminds me of our Peking Duck special of Sundays. She got roasted. Jesus.

Delightful assortment of spices. That's right, we're upscale. We got duck. It's your turn. Oh, it's my turn. Yeah, I didn't... I just wrote one. I just ripped it.

One, two... That's in any direction. Any direction that's... reasonable, yeah, yeah. You can send it in any of seven directions. You can't send it like back towards yourself, right? Right. Four, wait.

I was here, right? No, you're right. Here. One, two, three, four, five, six. I think, actually, do I have more moving from the Barbarian? Well, and you have more if you do one and a half three. Oh, yeah. Four and a half.

Yeah, I'm just gonna go right out here. Six. Yeah. So I hit it this way, right? Yeah, we'll roll a D8 to determine it if it goes which way. Okay, I'm just gonna throw it. My wizard staff, magic I cast wizard's stove. Here we go.

Shucks, I hit it. I'm gonna try to as it gets, it's gonna, oh, I gotta see how much damage I do. Hold on, I gotta knock it shitty dice for that. Boop, it's probably gonna be even worse than I remember. D6 plus a D, where's the D12s? Shucks, I'm just rhythm for me all right. That was my turn.

Oh, shucks, not very much. Seven plus five, this 12. 12. 20 total. So your second hit just has to be to 20 if you're hitting it again. Okay, shit. So let's try it again. I throw it again. It does be the 20. It's a 20-something. Yeah. It's good. Very bad. 12 plus 7. 19? 19. 39. And you're hitting it into this corner? Is it going to hit me?

Well, no, no. So, well, it could potentially pass through us. But what will happen is if it goes here, Derek will roll. I'll need a 7. or a 1, so if you'd rather do it where you roll a D6 and divide by three, we do, you know, or six-limy corner. Yeah, okay. So we're going to do 38-37. Let me write that down. Derek, roll a D-6 for me and tell me what you'd get. One.

That's this, so it's going to go this way. So it's just going to go here, which is going to be 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31. Roll another D-8 for me. Three. I'm sorry, one. Uh, re-roll. It bounced in a weird manner. Five.

32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27. Uh, roll for me. Another D-8? Yes. Three. 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17. D8.

Shet just bouncing all over the book. State. This is just like one of the games we had in the arcade. 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9. One more D8. 7. There it is. The bar. Yikes. And I'm just gonna try to crush this thing.

And you still thunderous, mate. I do. So that's gonna hit for sure, which is a... Yeah, because it's plus eight, so I hit no matter one, right? Yeah, you basically have to not gonna walk. So it's gonna be 2D6, plus 1D6, D,000. 10 for the paddle. I have to use the paddle. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. That's going to be 7, 10, 16, plus 5 is 21 points of damage, which is 29. I can't hit it unless I crit. I'll just try to

do my second attack. And I'm sending it this direction. Okay. 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22. 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15. 14, 13. Walrus, you have your reaction if you like, 13. That'll scatter, right? Yeah. You could come back. Be good.

Highly unlikely. Yeah, but. I'm gonna pass. Sure. 12, 11, 10, 9, 8. That was Bedbar's turn. Oh, Glitzi's up. Glitzy.

Oh, it's my turn. The fairy is making her moves, Tank. I'm gonna charge up my, um, my glitter bombs again and I'm going to shoot the thing directly towards Gary. Gary 64. Oh, shit. I'm going to look towards Babbar and I'm going to be like trying to send it home. And I guess I have to do it one at a time. 15 plus 8, so that's 23.

Okay. Eight plus 8 is 16. So the second one misses. Okay. First one hits. And that's going to go. It's gonna go. I'm stupid.

That's not. 10. So be 18. So hold on. You rolled a, the first one hit, did you roll damage for that first one? That's the 10. Yeah, that's the 10.

Because I wrote down 23, that's only 18, so what was your second attack roll? My second attack roll was 16. Okay, alright, because I had written out 23, but that was not the damage. Yeah. So it's 18 to move the ball. 17, 16, 15, 14.

I am going to use my reaction and crush this motherfucker. I know what you're doing. Directly towards Gary? Yes. Yeah. I look, as I see you fire off these blasts and you say what you say to me, I look to you in the eye and I say, Alleyoop. Boom.

I knew a lady named Alleyoop one. Yes, it's 15. 12 plus 8 is 20 to hit. That is. I'm sorry? Mike, come in the marker. Oh. It definitely hits.

And is it as soon as it enters my range, or is it as soon as it your reach? My reach, okay. Which is a lot. Um, I'm going to smite this. First level or second level? I'm thinking second. It's got a lot of rep. We don't have a lot of time here.

I don't know. I mean, a lot of opportunities on these bad boys. So that's going to be, what, three D8s for a second level, smite? Mm-hmm. So the D8 plus the D-10 plus the five is going to be. I will roll the smites first. That's 13. It was 15. So 13 plus another eight is 21. Yep. Plus the 10 from the paddle. That's 9. 30, which is going to be 30 plus 5 is 35 on top of the 15, which is now 50. 49. Oh, actually, no, you could probably hit it from

15 feet away? Yep. 49. Is he a C? Yes. Oh, shucks, I gotta crush this thing. Okay, I'm just gonna twist it till I get a natural 20. So you're using reaction to hit it first, and you've missed, or you are just trying to dodge? He's twisting it.

He's twisting it. You're twisting to hit it. You're twisting to hit it, got it, and then twisting to dodge. Oh, shucks. Oh no. Man, fishing for crits. Uh, this was two.

This is so genre. This is so jonge. Double sevens. Double 11s, double 11s, double 11s. Crazy. The last one? Nope. My last one.

11's? 11th. Ah, shit. Thank you, Chad. Gary, I hardly knew you. I'm pretty sure that that just I can't stop by, right? I am allowing you to quit.

Oh, you've got a same thing throw. This is it. Your advantage, you're a barbarian. Oh, oh! A 10? Oh, 10. No. No?

Not a little. Trust me. This, this, uh... Can we talk about the fact that he's the original characters that are the last one of the real. It's not unbelievable. The ringer flies through the air, exploding, uh, uh, scary 64 into mechanical pieces.

You see leather and fur and, uh, all of the pieces that made him, but anyway, flying in all directions, but there's a kindling on the inside, an essence. of thisness that he once was Gary, and it is swallowed, absorbed by the ringer as it flies past, and like a sonic boom smashes into the opposite wall before continuing to bounce.

Gary is no more. So now, Mikey and I together have just absolutely runded through characters. Assuming it scatters off of his exploded corpse. Oh, yeah. It should, right? Why not? Let's go. Give me a one.

It's going right back the other direction. which is going to be 44, 43, 44, 42, 41, 40. 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 32, 31, 30, 29, 28. Are we bouncing, or is it going right back in the direction? Just bouncing. I'm sorry? Just bounced. 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 13, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8.

And that's where it comes to rest. That's 20, 30. Whoa, G4RY, 64. He's out. He's done. He's done. There's no more. Oh, well, I guess so tired. Tank, you seem a little quiet. Is that me? You want me to tank? Yeah. Have some more whiskey. I know you don't normally witness death, but yes, because you don't live in my district. What is this character's name?

Tank Hammerfall, and I'm Verrett Day. Verrett. Verrett. Indeed, Verrett. Well, Verrett, absolutely. Glit with Glitzy with Glit and. And Babar, now with the first two confirmed kills on the field. Unbelievable day in Fleen. I think I heard Babar say Alleyoop right before he spiked it into Gary's chest. That was a very cool thing to say. Not very respectful.

He's taking to the death match portion of this very easily. Whose turn was that? That was Glitzy's turn. Walrus. I look at Glitzy. And I'll say, look, I've never been athletic. My uncle always told me I didn't have the makings of a varsity athlete. Yeah?

I think we've got to do this the old-fashioned way. Okay. What do you want to do? For Jean-Claude. Okay. We need to team up. Okay. The last two members of the mighty Trumps.

Wait, you want me to turn against Babba? Oh, I'm just to both kill Babaw. That's exactly right. Oh, God. I don't know if I can do that, B'Bah. Oh, no. I must do what I must do. Yeah.

I take my magical Ice King on, and I'll point it out. You're flying high with me. Freebirds. And I'm gonna shoot Ray of Frost. Just a cantrip, just a little, just a little. Just a fireball, if no ball, I mean, you know, that's a lot of the damage to me. I, uh, nearly 22. To hit damage?

Oh yeah, you got it. He's got a very high saving throw. So we gotta go for spell attacks for, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven points of frost damage. And your speed is reduced by ten feet. by 10 feet. Oh man, no save? No save. Okay. Oh, that's really. All right.

And then I'm going to move back. I remember this. Towards the end, you become like an animal, and you turn on everyone and everything. They have certainly begun to turn on each other, Vera. We haven't seen this since the Fleen Championships in 32. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That was very funny. That was pretty sick. Babar, you're up. Yeah. You get your reaction back. Thank you. Oh, that's a cool. Oh, yeah.

I'll, uh, eliminated and eliminated. Arianqueque eliminated. Oh, God, queque. Poor queque. She's 42. I'll wait for a ventriss and chill to talk about what my quick was in prison. That's very funny.

A riot. I will use 20 feet of movement. And as a bonus action, I will missy step directly on top. of the walrus. Was that, how? Is it 30 feet? Yeah, it's 5.10.

And then three more is only five. One, two, three and a half. Four and a half, five, no. Four, yeah, okay. And I will attack you twice. The first one will be an 18 to hit. Oh, much more higher than that, 26 to hit. The next one will be a 19 to hit.

Shield! You know, Tank, it's been more than six years and we've never had a battle royale on this channel before. Very, thank you. They have completely forgotten the ball. They are just turning on each other. We are no longer playing Fleen.

We are just playing slapstick. That makes sense. After all, the ball only goes in eight directions, but fists and swords, they can go anywhere. So it's only one hit or you? Okay. I'm gonna smite that one. Jesus.

Do I still have to use the regular paddle or do I get to use my regular . Use your weapon. All right, the 2D8s for the smite damage. Is that first level sweep? Yes. So that's 12. Then another 7 is 19 plus 5 is 24 points of damage.

Oh, fun! I killed Zanglod for you! I killed him for you! You ungrateful, Lill! That's the only sound that comes out of the wall, when he's struck by a powerful boy ever. That is my... That is my turn.

I only have two spells left. Oh yeah, half caledars are fun, fun, fun, glitzy. And I'm gonna throw a fireball on. I love it! Holy shit. I love that. Don't make me let it go.

Incredible. I have to make a dexterity saving throw. So you both have to make a dexterity saving throw. I love this. And I'm empowering the spell. I got a natural 20 for 26. You'll take half the damage. It's 16, right?

It is, I believe it's a 16. Let me just double check. It should be. I pass. I'm doing a third level. Wasting my 20s. I know. Yeah, it's 16.

And so it is how many D6s? Eight. Can I get some D6s? Yep. Mighty ears. Eight D6. Five, six, seven, eight. No, I don't it is.

That's fair. Yeah, you get one. I'll keep this one. I'll keep this one. This one, I'll remove all these ones. Better. It is going to be 20, 32. So 16 total points of damage.

Holy shit, what an explosion. They should call her an unfairy. We are engulfed in absolute fire. This is dissolved into a complete blood bath, Verrett, but that was very funny. That's why they, well, it's just ferret. Just get to play in the game. We just let it decide your hands.

You look like you. Oh yes, that's true. I took a lot of damage. That's true. That's true. I'm going to face-step. Oh. One, two, three, four, five, and a half.

Does that ignore a tax opportunity? Yes. You need to make a wisdom saving through. Oh yeah. I forgot about this. That's fun. Wisdom saving through. Sure.

Eladron are fun. They are fun. He's also a very good Disney film. Is it against being charmed or frightened? No. Yeah. Uh, 17. That pass.

Mikey, you're gonna be buried if you want to. Is this for him to be able to get you? This is for him not being able to move towards May. Did you ever see the film Eladron? What I know that that's what you're trying to do, is preventing them to be able to get some. It's very shocked. There was a blow gene.

And take off. similar to the genie betting on these games. What is the game that it's supposed to be? It's a four. Minus a four. I will cash in a twist. It will still be minus four to all of your olds. Sure.

Oh, that's a 19 minus four is 15. That fails. I'll allow it. You got it. I'm sorry. I'm here. We can do it. Tank.

It always dissolves into a bloodbath. The things that I've seen you wouldn't believe. Is the reason why I drink Red Spider Whiskey. Our sponsor today, whenever I have a long day of horrible flashbacks to whatever I'm referencing, I love drinking Red Spider Whiskey. It's a great smooth taste

at half the cost of competitors. That's Red Spider Whisky. Here's your bag of... gold, Mr. Day. Oh, well, thank you. I wonder if the... Tank, do you ever wonder if the clients are gonna let us go after this is over? Are we going to be thrown onto the sacrificial altar?

Well, Verit, I really haven't given it too much thought. I really just hope that it is... And we're free! And they put us right back when they found us. To be fair, you never really give anything to your thought, do you? Well, that's very hurtful, Verit. Well, the truth things, I guess it's true what they say. Oh.

Why don't you just drink up another glass of that red spider ale? Another tall, frothing glass of red spider whiskey, not ale. Ale whiskey. Ailed whiskey. Ailed whiskey. Aged in ale casks. Is it supposed to be frothing like that? Uh, that me.

I'm having a boiler maker right now. It's delicious. You put a shot. shot of whiskey into a beer and then you pass out. I am going to, before I duck behind cover here, I'm going to shoot another ray of frost, I think. Sure. Litsy's trying to convince them not to fight,

but you have to understand that from Babar's point of view, the wall versus evil. I'll twist it. From my point of view. I'll twist it. There's a lot of twists. 17? 18 is viral. There's a lot of twists he's got to go through.

There we go. And it's only just... That's why we have them. Tank. This is a bold strategy, Verit. Let's see how it plays out. Tank, is your name Hammerfall remind me? 15 points of cold damage?

Yes. My last name. Are you named after the power metal band Hammerfall? How do you know? You're afraid of me until the end of my next turn, and you are... What? Wait, wait, wait.

I asked if it was against fear. No, you said against being Trump. And fair. Yeah, Charmondeaure. I have advantage. I guess. Okay. So then you can roll again, I guess, right?

For the fairy stuff? Yeah. Is that what did it, or is the raid would do it? No, the ray reduces my movement speed by 10. Oh. If the ability is advantage, then he has to re-roll. Yeah, so just roll one more die. And I twisted.

Yeah, so you rolled two die. A 19 plus 8, 27. Yeah, that would do it. Yeah, that does it. So that fails, but I will, yeah. So the damage, and then you are, your speed is reduced by time. Roger.

Things are getting very sweaty down here in wherever this arena is. They're mindful to us. And they gagged us. I tried, buddy, I tried. I knew that this is exactly what was gonna happen. Blitzy is just crying. Yeah.

Mascara. Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy. As in action, I'm gonna use all 30 points of my lay on hands. Well, you bopped up all the way, I'm assuming. No.

That's the whole thing. No, no, I was pretty low. Then I have 20 feet of movement. Is that still true? Yeah, yeah. That was a matter of one. Wow. And that was a matter what.

Man, if only they had played, I can't believe how quickly both Gary and Quake died to the ball. Yeah, really an upsetting showing out of those two. I mean, just instantaneous. I can't believe that these three are so durable. Everyone else has been like tissue paper in comparison. Mike and I have each played five characters, I think. That's true. And I had to borrow one for Nikki.

That's true. What gives you advantage on being on tier? Let's say what. It's being charmed of aura protection is not that. It is this one. It might be racial. I don't know. Maybe I'll quick, because here it doesn't say that,

but that's weird. Loxidon Serenity. I have advantage on saving clothes against me charmed to fright. Oh, it's a great. Oh, that's fucking amazing. Wow. Who would have thought that Loxidon was so wise?

I once went on a seven-day bender with B. Gates and Z. God, that man with anything but wise. And then I think I have to see you to be able to do the other thing I want to do. behind cover. My favorite part of this whole competition was watching Gloppishudo get vapor up. And the screams that he made

will live with me in my fondest dreams and memories. He really did have a very specific owl to him. Maybe he would recreate it. Okay. Glitzy, you're up. Sorry, I made a piece of chicken before I die. I think you're in a good shape right now. Sorry, I went to a Witcher three plays.

As soon as you're eating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as you're eating chicken and fighting at the same time. I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what to do. Because you're not gonna stop fighting each other, but at the end of the day, one is he's gonna die, and then I'm gonna have to deal with the last of ya. That's right.

Or you're both gonna turn on me. So, sorry about these guys. And I'm gonna cast Nel Thayer's Miff's shift on top of both of them. What's that do? Damn. What does that do? A second, a level. It is a, oh, it is charm.

It's a 20 foot cube, so that should be able to reach them. Definitely. No. No? Oh yeah, 20 foot's cube? One, two, three, four. It would need to basically... No, it would... If it was here? One, two, three, four, it can either get...

Oh, it's... I don't know. I'm thinking a 24 radius. I got it. Okay, well, I'm gonna do it on Babar because he's the healthiest. Sorry, buddy. And then it's I roll a D4. What's the same?

It depends. Oh. A wisdom saving throat. Loxidons are good at that take. It's all charm? Or is the effect dependent on the D4? Yeah, they're all charm. Okay.

Yeah, it's all charm. You know what they say about Loxidons? They never forgive and they can't be charmed. Yeah, and does nothing. They never forget to kill. That's what they say. Okay, well, I tried. That's all he got.

Wow. Who would have thought a pixie would be mischievous? What do you think about that? Well, I definitely did not see that coming. What is really impressed me is how quickly they have turned to just killing each other with Quake and Gary dead. It was all fun in games. And when those two went down, here we are. It seems as soon as Babaugh murdered Gary, all the gloves were wrong.

off and all bets were off. Once he hit that ball with the righteous food of a thousand burning sons, there was no going back, Barrett. That's true. I think that once the walrus saw the bar murder,

John Claude Chanticleer, there was never any outcome besides this. It was always going to come to this. I mean, John Claude, what a stand-up guy, you know? Yes, exactly right. And John Claude, didn't get liquefied, but no, who did.

Gloom shit out. He's already kind of liquidity. It's your turn. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Glistons. I'm sorry if I didn't yell that loud enough. I was listening to the sensors.

Well. I was listening to the sensors. It's all good. I'm just going to keep going, because there's going to be a lot of metagaming. This runs itself now. All I have to do is occasionally make a judgment. Uh, one, two, three, four, one.

Uh, so first, I'm going to. to wave my wand around and my crown will light up, and I will use a sorcery point to make Rhymes Binding Ice a bonus action. Oh, that's a cast a cone. It's a con save, 16. I'm gonna twist. Which is probably not enough.

I'm gonna twist. It's a 16, he says. So just fine, good. Thank you. Them now, because I'm not last much longer. That's a 19. So you take half of 18. Nine points.

Out of trouble here. I was never a math magician. And then I am going to cast, um, my action will be casting the cantrip again, Reif Frost. Yeah. Dean plus. That's flying.

Speaking of glum shito and being liquefied, I was... 11 points of cold damage. Our new sponsor, Florbo Flavius Flop fiber pills. I had nothing but painful painful violent diarrhea for months until I took

Florbo flotavius fiber pills and now I'm as regular as the sunrise and sunset. Thanks, Florebo. I can ride a bike again. Incredible. It was just tricky that first day you looked like an empty Capri's sign. The walrists.

He is using his namesake power, ice, in order to dominate the slow Oaxidon. He's focused mostly on brawn, not mind powers of speed. I'll tell you this right now. I'm going to fudge my score at his mini golf course. That's for sure. I fudge my pants. You have to make another list of saving throw

as you move through. Floobos. Oh, really? Oh, it stays for a minute. Flourbo flobotidious is five a pill. 20? Yeah, you pass. It's just 16.

Ah. And Babar is out for blood as he chases down like a stampeding elephant that he is. They do call Babar the king of elephants. Use my action to dash. He is sprinting out full charge. He is charging down the field. That's a bonus action.

All I can do is try to abjure enemy. You'll just have to make a wisdom of 15 saving throw. Or otherwise be frightened and your speed is reduced to zero. Natural 20. Yeah, you're good. Whoa. That's my turn. I mean, he's got a million twist.

It's over. I'm done so. It's a game. That's not long for this world. This is desperate. Let's see. I'm going to drop a fireball on top of them at a level three.

Whoa. What's the range on that? It's like 120 as fuck. Yeah. If not a tiny. It's a hundred. It's a hundred and fifty. Yeah, you can like just put here too.

And so it's 100, what? It's 150 feet. I mean, the whole map's on 100. Yeah, correct. Oh, things are silly. That's a deck saving throat. With how cold things are getting with the walrus's powers, now Glitzy is coming in with the bomb.

I'm gonna twist that. It's the tale of ice and fire. Oh, that's exactly what I was gonna say. Luther Barrett. I'm gonna twist that? No, indeed. It was a tail, oh, and fire. 16.

I passed. Oh, we've been cloned with the horrible dog and all the tea of clients. I got an 18. The many-headed syndicate is truly. I'm still going to use it. It's minus one. I said I used it before I knew what you had.

Half of. You're going to take half of and then I'm going to meta-magic it. Oh, Jesus. Empowered a spell. To re-roll, what, once in twos? To re-roll up to five of the die. Oh, any one do you want.

Jesus, that's pretty good. That's freaking out. If you've taken the whisk. I might be dunza here. Other variance, how are you feeling about this? Are you getting memories back to all time in the ring? I am. I am. Oh, it's just like I remember.

You know. 38 points of damage. So half of that is, what? 18. 18? Wait, 38? 19. 19. Yep.

Yeah, 19 points of damage. Not looking good. You see as... I fall unconscious. Oh! Oh! And Verrett, too. It is down to just Glinty and Babar left here.

And he is all the way across the map. Things are not looking good. Unless you're glinty, of course. I move forward five feet as I raised my mall to cave in the world. Oh my God! Does anyone have a range of? And I attacked twice. Is there anything I need to be special

if you're unconscious on the ground? You roll advantage. You roll advantage. You're using a hit twice. 20 to hit. Yeah, it has. A million to hit. Yep, that'll do it.

Is that coup? Coug to grah? Yeah. How is he gonna get out of the... Oh, God! What's he doing? I killed! You smash into the body of the walrus, and you feel the

coldness, not just in the air around you, but in the very soul. As you begin to take your allies' lives in this desperate fight for godhood, perhaps, but also just to survive. I, after covered in viscera and charred from all of the attacks you've done, I am looking savaged. I look like I don't, I'm not gonna hold on much longer. As I look to you and I say, what's done is done.

You can easily kill me from there before I can close distance. The choice will be yours, but I will move towards the ball. And I move 10 feet towards the ball using the rest of my movement. And I end my turn. I'm gonna cast, use one of my spell slots to regain two source three points. And I'm gonna cast my lap third level five. And then I'm gonna use, yeah, and then I'm gonna roll it again. So it's a D, it's a 16.

I mean, if you roll high enough, I can't even, I can't save it. There's not like I can't save against. Jeez. Well, after the walrus's brains got splattered everywhere, I should, I bet Bavar is wishing he had a rain jacket. That ye could have picked up a very affordable and stylish jacket at Harbor.

So ready. As this, as this fireball. It rains in on me. I drop to my knees, and the mall falls from my hands, and I say, friends, brother, I try so hard. This is the end. There's nothing left but me for judgment, into the nine hells and against gigantes, elephontrous,

solustress. As I close my eyes, and the fire engulfs me, and I fall unconscious. Oh my God. You fall to the ground, and you watch as the Loxidon body of the bar falls backwards, landing in a heap against the charred grass,

what would normally be a brilliant, lush, healthy green. Instead, a round, chaotic blob of brown and black and... Got the end of your turn? Yeah. But are you 20 to get up? I don't know. Yeah, I guess you had 20 would stabilize you.

He's got a lot of twist. He's got a 17. Here, twist does save. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he did it. You did it. We did it. Just as one.

Just as one. Okay, that's fair. And John Luke did it. Yeah, sure. Zon Luke will see you in hail, but ma'am. I'm using them up. There's nothing left. Yeah, might as well.

When all of a sudden, you see... And then another fireball's gonna come in and blast my us. You see this trunk. You have a turn? Get it up. Barbar, it is your turn. You have one hit point. So I used to have my movement to stand up. That's right. What does this look like?

No, I... The trunk... I don't need a little girl. It couldn't be a little. No. My eyes flutter. and I think, is this death? Is there an afterlife? And I smell the charred grass,

and I see the walrus's battered, disturbed body, and I say, fuck, the gods are not done with me yet. And I will attempt to make two attacks on this horrific flea flow. Your vision's blurring. Jesus Christ. Your Warhammer is heavy, heavy in your hands, but you put all your strength in two.

17 to hit Whoa I can't believe Babah got back up Is an elephant Literally too angry to die It certainly seems that way After that explosion

I didn't think you'd know What area code is in And I'm just gonna smite it I got another else to do here I mean I'm like I'm really Might as well Gods I love a good game Twelve

I prefer it when they don't die so much Plus the 10 from the paddle there's another six that's 18 plus 5 is 23 plus the original 8 is 31 and I'm just gonna send it this way and just try to send it towards Blitzie and see what happens but you know hey 30 29 28 27 26 25 25 25

23 22 21 20 19 18 18 17 16 15 14 13 13 12 11 10 10 9 8 and I and again I look to Glitzy and I say Do it! Oh, holy to-e! They lost all semblance of humanity on the court out there. It is really turning into... I am going to...

I can't do any more fireballs. Oh! So I'm gonna... I'm going to... I'm going to hurl a chromatic orbit at you. Oh, wow. And it's going to be fire damage. Okay.

Um... And you need to do a... Is it force and fire? Oh, no, I roll for it. I rolled to hit you with it. 15 plus 8, so a 23 to hit. Let's be done. I curl the 4 inch diameter sphere of energy

that I can see. You take 3.8 damage. Oh, that's just going on it up. You guys survived. Somehow. He's got that poppy passive where he's at one, he can't Die. Well, you have a twist it.

Look. Yeah. I'm trying to get my mouth, but... Yeah! 21. As I hurl it at you, I'm like, I'm going to girl it at him. I mean, unless you can do 59 points of damage

and kill me out right. I can't. Okay. I drop on gontches. I've got four twists, which is five total attempts to roll a natural 20. Okay, it's your turn. That's my one roll and a twist.

Yeah, I should be rolling, sorry. should be rolling, sorry. And down he goes again. Left one? No, no. Will he get up? I roll out of this one. No, my charred.

I have no hair left. There's no hair. Only anywhere on me. My charred body, I, again, I, I use the fleet full paddle to stand. First at my knees. I stand up. up. Let's see!

I'd run on the dynes in the hells, Dr. Monti. Steer yourself. I stumble 15 feet forward. And I use my action to stumble another 15 feet forward. Well, this is just terrific. No, I'd stand up. I lose half 15 times. Because he's a good. Because he's a good.

You're reduced. Yeah. So there you go. There you go. Okay. I know it's a barbara is nuts that he hates him. He looks looking at the end right now. I'm using the flea-foil paddle to steady me, like almost like a like a clutch.

Send me to the hells for all of the evil that I have perpetrated. I'm trying. And as it flies towards you, it's going to start swirling into an orb of fire, and she's going to chromatic orb fire you again. That landed on coins. So that is gonna be 22. Oh, just this. I have one twist left.

Holy shit. And that's doing 12 points of damage to you. All right, I go to the top of zero. I have my point there's savings throw and I have one twist. Oh my God. Is it 18? I was like, I swear to God, if that was a natural 20.

Here it is, this is it. No good. No good. Babbar has a death saving throw. Has one failed save. Now you can just finish me all. That's true. As this final attack comes in,

I again brace myself for impacted. And Babbar utters a small prayer to himself, and he says, finally, Man, you falls on conscience. Failed saving throw. No, you succeeded. The first one was in 18. Oh.

Oh, I just didn't get a 20. Okay, all right, I have one success. You gotta deal some damage here. I'm getting back up. Unbelievable. Glitzy is gonna move towards you. Yeah, probably good at you. 30 feet.

Well, he's not within 60 feet. Yeah. Probably pretty darn close, but if you have to move like 10 feet to get there, so mid. Sacks. You literally just go here. Yeah. So, Glyssie will go there, and you'll see your hands start to ignite with glitter bombs, and she's going to let loose two Eldridge blasts.

They're both as a bearer. Yeah, but I got twists. That's true. Out the wazoo. And so, yeah. So I'll use a twist. Threes, I'll use another list. What's your AC?

18. Wait, is that a clown? He's down? Wait, he's wearing the armor. Range attacks are gonna be advantage when the target's prone. I'll do one more, I'll do one more. Back twice. I'm still rooting for the bar.

I don't give a shit. So, well, not, but what if it were, because it's a hit too with a fucking chromatic orb? No, is it? Yeah. Any deck save, yeah. There we go. So that one, the first one will hit.

Okay. And with tears, she's dreaming on our face, she's gonna go, bang! And that one's also gonna hit, because it's plus eight. That's two fails. Boom!

And she's gonna hit twice. So that's two failed, save us. Life meets you. No, I have one fail, but he gets, it's been, holy shit, we can die. You see as these elephants blasts

slamming him at bar, like his body like walks up against the wall, but he's still breathing. Oh my god, you just die already. This is it. This is it. Holy shit. Well, this isn't necessarily it he could save.

Well, I guess, yeah. I have to get a nat. He gets a 20, is one of my only hope. And then even then. I mean, I could spend all my twists trying to hit you. That's right. You have to. You gotta fucking kill me. Damn it. That's a success.

I'm done. You got me. I like that it hit the wall. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's my turn. I'm sorry, buddy. Natural 20 and 17.

You got me. Oh, yeah. And so with the final one, she'll just shoot both of them at the same time, and she'll go, and that's it. And in that he does. That's it. She leaves you, the bar, and the souls pull into the ringer.

What a ride. Into the ringer. And you watch as the arena is drenched in shadows, draped pulling the walls in the grass swimming, around you, shrinking, shrinking, shrinking down. For a moment, there's only you. The bodies of the slain all around you seemingly disappeared. It's just you and this glowing ringer

until you see another object, a glowing chest, and floating the ringer sinks into the open mouth of the chest. Hello PM, it heads. What am I supposed to do here? This is some kind of mimic. Looking around, you don't see any pyramid heads. You don't see the dormitory.

You seem to be in a totally open space. You're not even sure what you're standing on. You feel like you aren't blinded by darkness. It just feels like you are in an almost abstract void where there happens to be gravity. And you find yourself there for but a moment totally with your own thoughts. feeling what it is you feel to have been the survivor among hundreds of other lives.

I never should have incited virus and violence at that fans warped to that one summer. I never would have been in prison to begin with. And I should have just read a book in the library for 30 days instead of killing my dear friends. But here I am with blood on my arms. In the void, an empty void. Should write a song about this. Tease my hair and cry when I sing it. I guess there's only one thing to do.

Hope that's not a mimic and open that chest. Well done. Oh, God, did you listen to everything I was saying? You hear a voice and turning around. You see a familiar face. It is the face of the guard that you remember, who first offered you this opportunity. They still have a very changed look,

an expression that you'd never seen. on this face, except for the last time you saw him, and you realize that this is the face that whatever this entity is, whatever this inviter was, is just the face that they happen to be wearing while they talk to you. Well done, let's see, you've won the contest. Yeah, so I just opened that chest and I claim my prize.

To ascend to Godhood. One must be willing, so yes, you can open the chest, but your prize is the chance to become a god. You may also leave. If you do not want the mantle of godhood thrust upon you, you may be freed, taken right back out. You wouldn't be in prison anymore, you could just be on your,

your way. Yeah, but I just killed my friends, so. The choice is yours. Oh, this is scary because, see, the thing is, if I open that thing and there's some kind of trick, you say, can I see the fine print? There's no contract. What? You were pulled out of your mortal lives for a chance.

Inside that chest is a divine spark, fueled by the very lives it took you to get here. to get here. All right. Well, I made a promise to Babba on his first dying breath. Maybe he was second. It was definitely before his third. That I was going to do my best to send to Godhood so that I could resurrect his brother for him

and finish the mission that he left unfinished. If there's any chance to get my friends back, I'm going to take him, even if it kills me in the process, 30 fucking days. And I'm going to walk over. I'm not even going to fly. I'm just going to walk over. over to this little thing.

I'm going to put my hand on the chest. Tusks win, and I'm going to open it. You open it, and inside is divine light. And you realize that you need only reach out and seize that divinity to become one with it, to ascend beyond a demigod or beyond a heroic adventurer with this power, you would make a level 20 character.

Look the way a level one character looks to a level 20 character. To put it in order of magnitude, greater, you realize this is no lie, truly, this is the chance to be a goddess. Glitzy will consume it. She will slurp up that power. Time to see what fucked up thing there to. I know, I can't wait.

Staircase illuminates before you, and every step of the way, you define your deity qualities. Tell me, what is Glitzy's portfolio, her divine domain? If I were a cleric of Glitzie's, how would I follow thee? What would I do? Oh, yeah, it's the domain of dance. It's all about music and joyousness and fire. Joyousness, fire. Chaos. Yeah. Chaos.

Yeah. We have a lot of people. We party. We party all night long. We were not part of the shadow fell and that domain of dread and a get-a or whatever, but I know that's an all-night party. This is also similar to that. It's just a little more chaotic, you know? We can't control our emotions.

We can't control our magic. It's like a mosh pit of religion. Religion. Okay. You take further steps and you feel these qualities of yourself crystallize. These things that make Glitzy her person become a series of ideas almost as you ascend into the abstract. What would your symbol be?

Oh gosh, a bomb. Take another step. How would your followers refer to you? Glitzy certainly becomes a sacred name to those of you who believe in the faith, but there are titles. Do you have a title that you would watch for yourself or perhaps would be known for by reputation, infamy, fame? I mean, I'm not a very creative fairy, so probably just the bang. They call me the big bang. And some even think that it was my coming into the universe that just created everything.

That's what I at least lie to people about. What powers do you immediately take upon yourself in your first moments of godhood? In these few seconds, you have the ability to assume immortality, perhaps, or telepathy. You could create an entire plane of existence. The entire breadth of your divine power suddenly becomes, you become aware of. There's like this spell called Enlarge of Reduce So I would like to have something like that

But it is destruction and rejuvenation Destruction and Rejuvenation Yeah, so I can basically destroy entire cities Or raise entire cities Or like the other kind of race Not the first destruction kind of rays The staircase understands And you ascend once again

And when you deem it So what kind of artifacts would people? A leather jackets. Yeah, for sure. Hell yeah. Hey, it's a Fons. Fonzarelli. Anything else come to mind for artifacts

or is it all leather jackets, just hanger after hanger of them? Oh, it's just hangas after hangas of leather jackets. And finally, when you visit the mortal world. Not only those shitty, like, I'm talking like the the leather jackets that flake away. Plutter. Bonded leather, you know, like if someone had a red bonded leather jacket

that over the course of like four years playing in a D&D campaign it flaked all over the pool, it wouldn't be like that at all. It'd be real leather jackets. Understood. And when you deem the, it necessary to visit the mortal plane yourself, when you swim down, when you're not doing your divine business and connecting with your worshippers through faith, or through radiance, hearing their prayers,

or doing what godly business you decide for yourselves. What is your avatar? How do you visit in physical form to the world known as a ventras? Oh, it's a fairy. Yeah, like this cute punk rock fairy that just hangs out with a jacket that says Glitzy the Bags box on the back. And so you look very much like your immortal self. You sort of reassemble.

You begin to... Oh, but my hair would be green instead of pink. So that way no one was recognized me. And I would wear glasses. With green hair. Yeah, but they would be studded. Studded. Studded glasses, yeah.

Like cat's eye glasses? Do you watch as each of these details come into form by the nature of your very thought, by the very nature of creation, by the nature of your ascension, when you realize that you are bound to this form. You are bound to your godhood, certainly. Your goddessness, above you, dozens of shadowy faces stare down, and you feel the force of their wills. Platinum trammels bind you to a banquet table.

You attempt to move and push out with your godly powers, but so do the gods around you. The clients, they're frequently referred to. These trammels hold you, circles of arcane runes swimming above you, shimmering divine symbols, pouring in all directions, primal flows of energy, psionic strands surge and sway all around you a tremendous amount of power needed. But you are a newborn god still new to your powers, and you are stopped. your return to the banquet table,

but this time as the meal being served. Oh, shit! Clients, sharpen your blades. Prepare your forks, and the rest I will leave to imagination, for the meal is divine. Now we're going to end tonight's session. A little while later,

the announcers find themselves standing on an intersection, having been zamped back to Galtica. The correct word shlooped. Shlooped. Shlooped back to Galtica. They've missed the final game of the 43rd Grand Fleen-Felowl Prime Material

Plain Championship. Their pockets are filled with precious gems and platinum. They are alive. The sun is setting on the horizon, just below the horizon even. The day is darkening quickly. An older blonde human, graying hair, faded blue eyes, a bald dwarf, short even for a dwarf, especially stout with more mustache than beard. So that's it then. All that for some kind of dark ritual of deicide? And the entertainment of the deadly games, I suppose, yeah. Simply terrible. I didn't think gods could die.

Who are we to comprehend or judge such celestial things? Come on, I'll buy you a drink. Thanks, Ferret. I think I'll just wander a bit and find my way home. Take it easy. You do the same, Tank. Maybe I'll learn who won the championship. Well, see ya.

Tank walks restlessly, aimlessly through the streets for some time. He passes shops and restaurants, parks, and living complexes, districts, waterways, and stone buildings of governance. He strays without a destination in mind until he reaches a clothing store. He goes into the closing store, not thinking, just pausing and moving down through the artifacts, one item after the other, until a leathered jacket catches his eye. And he looks at it, pulls out one of the many coins in his pocket, and then places it into the pocket of the leather jacket. Feeling perhaps some form of relief,

he turns back home to rest. And that's where we'll call tonight's session. Thank you so much for listening to The Legends of Aventure's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier higher to unlock Shroud Over Salt Marsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high sea.

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