Legends of Avantris - Edge of Midnight | Ep. 2 | House of Lament

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

The party meets the lord of the land, and they begin to uncover a dark mystery.   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/hIzAErYKsWY?si=KX83q7vTpjKWolGH

Welcome to Legends of Evantris. I'm Sir Marius Renathir and you're listening to Edge of Midnight. The last time we left our heroes, if you can even call them that. They finally made it to the end of a long journey to the heart of Drusk involved, a land trapped between dust to midnight under the gaze of a witch's moon. But this chapter, we began not too long before, but certainly far away. Across the whole valley, in fact, to the very edge of this evening. domain of dread. It's here where a lone man stands before a wall of mist. He's waiting for something

or someone, and he doesn't know it, but he won't be waiting for much longer. Swirling, twisting gloom rises hundreds of feet upwards to the night's sky above and stretches outward to either side as far as the eye can see, forming the perpetual borders and confines to the land of Druskenwald. The figure before the endless sheets of gray mist seems tiny, especially in comparison to the gargantuan wicker titan standing motionless in an eternal vigil over a few hundred feet away. However, upon closer inspection, the human man seems to be taller than average. Middle age was slicked back black hair and a pencil-thin mustache. He's impeccably dressed in a suit as gray as the mist before him. His pristinely polished shoes as black as the night sky above. He pulls a ticking pocket watch from his pocket and checks the time with a tap of his foot before turning it and gazing back out into the shroud. Then his eyes meet a light.

It's tiny and distant at first, glowing with a spectral blue-green hue. But it grows larger and nearer as it slowly illuminates a silhouette that slowly approaches from within the mist. As the figure emerges from the gloom, it's revealed that the light is being cast from a lantern fastened to a hulking orc, slightly hunched as he carries as what appears to be, A gravestone changed to his back. In one hand, he holds a shovel that he uses a makeshift walking stick. A hood pulled up over his head only slightly obscuring his face, as he simply steps out of the mist.

At the sight of the green skin, the dapper man lights up and thrust his ringed finger outward with a beaning grin. You must be the mist walker. How do you do, my good man? Well, Philip Druskenwald, that's your service. I'm glad my invitation made it from one green hand to another. Good show. The man's outstretched hand

Hover's in the air expectantly As the fork looms over him. Norbram, what do you do? I would Reach into my cloak And grab the Letter that was delivered to me And

I would hand it to him And say, I'm not sure How you got this to me But I beg follow it Yeah He reaches out and he takes the letter from you a smile alighting across his face. We need a right choice

by accepting my invitation, old sport. You will not regret it. I have just the thing your best gal will want, but everything in its time. I've got some new chums for you to meet, and we'll hash out our new business partnership then. Our carriage waits. Do you need some help checking that slab? Never mind, you seem to be quite attached to it. No pun intended, of course. And besides, I don't think my coachman could lift it. Off we go. Good show. Like great voice. All done. Now, sometime later and many miles away from this land's misty borders,

a scarecrow, a knight, a pirate, a cultist, and a sater, watch an old black train pick up speed as it chugs faster and faster. A ghastly blue-green smoke leaving the smokestack of the locomotive accompanied by the mournful whales of the dead. The amphibian conductor, whom you only know is the vagrant, the stranger, or nothing at all, hangs off the side of the engine, waving his broad-brimmed hat and farewell as he calls out one last time.

Carry on, wayward travelers. You just wait on that platform as patient as the night. He'll fetch you soon enough, and I wouldn't ramble far if I was you. But where the beast that stalks the woods, and whatever you do, don't let go of your hope. The death of hope is the loss of soul. And trust me, you do not want your souls to be lost here.

the ghost light express is swallowed by the gloom as it chugs into the dark forest that nearly surrounds you leaving the five of you on the humble wooden platform along the lonely road at the center of the valley the fall rolls in thicker by the minute as the high moon looms overhead what do you do so for full context this is our first time stepping off the train you have been essentially dumped at a platform There is a old dusty road ahead of you, but it is for all intents and purposes just a simple train station platform, nothing more. Surrounding you behind and all off to the side

and in front are dense dark forests. Leading off to one side is shrouded in mist. We barely survived. And you barely survived. Yeah, I'm hurt. Well, I just wrote a song about what just happened. There's an old black train of going, chugging through the fog. I don't know where it's heading, but I'm gonna miss that frog.

He was awfully, he was awfully a friendly fella. What do he say? There's a beast in the woods? Well, he probably meant metaphorically. I believe that it was plural. There's always beasts in the forest. Why do you not surprised? This is not right. I've been all over the world and this is nothing like the world.

And you all to roll perception. Oh, good, I was just gonna ask. Suck up. I was gonna ask if I could scan the horizon. Perception, I've held it exceptionally well. 23. Perceptionally well. 17. I also rolled perceptionally well with the 25.

Perceptionally. 15 for me. Me, 17. Who rolled above 15? I did. The four of you. As you are looking about and getting acclimated to this new place that you're in, you hear the snap of a twig behind you. Or was that the sound of a breaking branch in the deep breathings of something large, very, very large? I draw my sword and raise my shield as I turns towards it and say, all right, everyone, on your guard.

I'll see, I told you, he was referring to some specific. All these, some of the coupless. Is that a kitty? Is that a kitty? You may be right. My ears are still ringing from our encounter earlier. Everyone stand behind Briggs and I. Oh, everybody stand behind Marys.

And also stand behind Marys. I look closer towards where this sound is coming from, and I attempt to see what it might be. Okay, you all turn towards the, almost fortress-like wall of trees behind you, so close together, so dark, infused with this mist, that it is difficult for your eyes to pierce in through the trees. I need you to roll another perception check for me, please.

Not going to roll this one as well. Yep, that's seven. Eight. Looking through, you feel like you do see movement, but it's much lower to the ground than what you would expect this sound to have come from. And as you listen with your almost supernatural hearing, being a damp ear,

you don't hear the breathing or the sound of movement anymore. What is that sound you hear? The sound of steps on wooden stairs immediately behind you. I would just be startled and wheel back around away from the original noise. And as you turn around and look,

the sound of the steps, creak, creak. creek, but nothing there. And as you look down at the wood, you can see as it almost bows under the weight of something, but nothing at all. We must be careful. There are creatures

of the night here that I cannot see. Virgil, why don't you go into the fog and check it out? No, I'm not going to go into the fog and check it out. You're like a weird crow. You'll be fine. Oh, fine. You're useless. Well, I'm out of ideas. I think maybe did he mean the beast was going to pick us up?

Maybe it's a friendly beast. No, he specifically said, to avoid the beast, watch out for it. It was a cautionary tale. I'd yell out at the bowing boards at this point. Reveal yourself, creature, or we will reveal you.

Or we will reveal you. You call out into the air around you, and you see the mist move against the sound of your voice, as it billows forth from you, and the creaking stops. Oh. Well done. So, do you? Go on.

Say, that seems too easy. I don't see you do nothing. You're as useless as verdict. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just a little scared. I think it is standing still. Creature of the night. My name is Leithica.

What is your name? Roll a persuasion check. Not very persuasive. If I can actually get there, that will be in eight. You say this out towards the, there are only five wooden steps that lead from the rough road up to the platform that you're on. And you speak out towards the general area,

and you are met with nothing but silence. Noticing that nothing changes, I would chime in and say, we mean you no harm. We simply mean to defend ourselves. Please. Speak for yourself. And as you say this, immediately behind you,

you feel a cold breath on your neck. Do I feel threatened? I mean, I'm going to be startled. I don't know. That doesn't seem very threatening. I would still jump and turn. Artu voodoo gun. And I shoot in general direction

with my arcane focus. I'm going to shoot Michael Flintlock and Cass Eldon's black. I would like you to roll a disadvantage. If you get a natural one, you will hit Marius. No! It's okay. Just figure yourself.

Oh, pretty good. A video gun. All right. That is a... 18 a hit. I don't know. I don't know. That's pretty good.

That's great. And if there were something there for you to hit, you imagine that the blast of your gun would have found its purchase. but there was nothing there to hit to begin with. Braggie! Stop! That's enough! Well, do you care for music? Many creatures of the wood and perhaps of darkness enjoy a good tune or two?

Especially fiendish varieties? I got a weird crow here who would... Well, he doesn't want to be friends with you. He doesn't want to be friends with nobody, but would you like a friend with a weird crow? If you're a weird eminol, we got a lot of those here. I think it is, whatever this entity is, is perhaps playing some tricks on us.

Well, how about we switch to treats? Instead of tricks. If it's either or, perhaps, I prefer treats. If you got a bottle of satsbarilla. I'd like to look at the stairs. Are they still, like, no, they're not. Okay. Does, besides the platform,

then the stairs that we've come down, and there's mist around us, does there seem to be any other forward away from the platform or would it be just directly into the mist? It would, so what's around you is essentially a dark forest. So there's a long winding road going on either side that it is misty and foggy and more of it has come in since the train left. It's not enough that as you walk you wouldn't be able to see in front of you. You're not walking into the mist that the train

dropped you off in. It's just further into Droskenball. Okay. But it is further into what appears to be this dense, thicketed forest and the vagrant had warned you not to wander less the beast should get you. Okay, okay. So you imagine you could, and let's see what happened. Briggsie, please. We need everyone to remain level-headed and cold. All right, of course.

I suggest that we move forward together. I would agree with that. I am not going to entertain some mischief or tricks, not after what we've already been through. Well, I think that our pal, Mr. T. Vagrant, he said to stay here, didn't he? I think he said somebody was going to know that we're here, right? Behind you, you begin to hear the swaying and creaking of the boughs of these enormous trees as they begin to move from side to side clearly with some enormous form moving within.

I would say hundreds of feet behind you. All right. I don't necessarily like venturing out to wherever that is. But how long are we going to stand here? Well, is anyone like a ridden, a real train, a real genuine, locomotive before? Perhaps it takes a while for your luggage to get processed. I have all I need to carry right here.

As do I. Jericho, what did you do with your things? Virgil, you have... Virgil, you have... Virgil, you said you were going to give them... Well, I have nothing. Just what I had in the old bindle and Virgil must have left him in the pumpkins. What I'm going to say is, if you want to go check it out, go for me.

We'll be brought here. We'll hold down a fort case somebody comes from. Oh, Virgil, why don't you go with Marius if he's going to venture forth? Now are you scared you going to be a scaredy bird? I don't think it's wise that we are to split up at this point. Well, I'm going to do what I was told, given that there's a fucking, horrible face in the moon and they're a ghost laughing at. And as you look up, you begin to see large vultures. Six, seven, eight of them circling around you.

All in unison. Almost as if waiting. Well, Burton, you want to go and say hello? Maybe that'll be something we could do. Do we think that they mean us any harm? Maybe they're picking us up? I think this place is just spooky. All right, they have vultures, they've got beasts in woods, they got ghosts.

But we've also learned the hard way that it's very dangerous. That's what I mean is that it's flip. We sold some shit on X-ray. Is everyone okay, by the way? I think I can maybe sing a little ditty and help somebody out who might be got some wounds still. I was going to pray and ask my dark lady to give me strength, but...

Okay, but... Your songs are comfortated, and I would hear more. Oh, well, I, I, uh, all I, I don't really got a song, I'll just say, I appreciate you, Lithuica. You can we consider that a sure, has it been like a short rest period? I would say yes. You could consider yourself to having half of the rest. Well, you know what?

I said I was going to do it. It's a long time. That's more than two years. Oh, we're taking a short rest or no? Yes. For the sake of things, you can consider. yourself. I'm taking a short rest.

I'm sure because I've got some things that I can I can use my channel divinity again. I think I'm gonna use... It's pretty worth. I think I'm gonna use one. Sure rest. I would like to... Oh, one D-10.

Plus three. Oh my god, I'm a tank. Wow! Just be like normal, not carried over from the... Yeah, no, you are fresh light. So you could take a long rest. So is it always plus three every roll World War. Every one, every dime. So I got one, two, three, nine.

That's awful, but I'll take it. Oh, well, I'm gonna do. Goet rest. Okay, that's all I needed was this. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not gonna use last one. I know, but it's mechanical. There we go.

I don't know how to take a shirt risk for the NTP. You click on the little cog and then you click short rest. Oh. And then you use all of them. Lethika, do you really like my songs? They make you feel Good? They are acceptable, yes.

Oh, well, that's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. You hear that version? I'm of an acceptable quality. Well, no, I don't, I'm not going to listen to you anymore. I have friends now. Why didn't... Oh, I need to... Let me ask you a question.

Gift it, short-old. Oh, damn, I gotta pass it along. Thanks for pointing out. I got a fucking gifted sub again. Ah, continue. Oh, is there really a gift? Is there really is there really a do I get sure do I have song of rest at this point? Uh, probably when you're at level three probably

At level three? How does we're still learning our characters so yeah, we're done there. Oh features and traits. Oh, no, I'm you know Lethika I'm gonna sing a song that always tears me up I'm sad and I'm lonely my heart it could break for my lover loves another oh I wish I were dead I'm sad

and I continue like that that's why I use I lean over to Farren Jericho seems a little sensitive but I hate this song So I take an extra D4 from your song of rest

For everybody. It's ever makes, because you're not there. Or to D-SX. Wait, right? Is it D-SX? I think it's D-SX. Just want to clarify.

He said that the song cheers him up. Whatever yours is. Well, that's the second question for you. One, do you really hear that bird talking and two? Why are he such a buzzkill? Well, you know, everyone says it, especially, especially Virgil.

Yeah, no, I can hear Virgil. I hear him all the time. I can't not hear him. I've tried. Quite a bit, actually. he also does not seem to listen to anything that you say. Well, I think if I make a persuasive argument, but I've never been very persuasive except for the human folk.

They find me quite persuasive, perspective, persuasive. You know, and I like to think that most folk, well, they don't really like me very much. They usually say, oh, no, run away. It's the terrible, terrible mechanical scarecrow. What's going to steal our souls? Right. I hear the sounds of very large legs, some potentially four-legged creature, stomp slowly through the woods behind you, hundreds of yards off.

You can hear it. You can hear the snorts and the animal and the bea stuptial noises and sounds. Occasionally you feel like you can hear a scream echoing out from the very depths of the forest. All right. Everybody else can hear that. Right? Correct. Yes. I don't like sitting here when there's the idea that someone out there is being harmed. This place seems very dangerous.

Well, maybe it's just a bunch of creepy aminals or a bunch of gross aminals. You know, Virgil, he's a gross eminone. He doesn't mean any, well, I guess he does mean quite a bit of harm. So maybe that gross aminol out there means quite a bit of harm to us. But he hasn't, it hasn't come due to harm us. It's right. Perhaps it's just having its dinner. I would be frantically still just scanning to see if I can see anything without wandering away. You are constantly keeping your eyes on the tree line,

and at one point you think you see what appears to be too gargantuan orb-like blood red eyes staring out at you. And as you blink and look back, nothing's there. It's the shifting and swaying of the trees. The thanda helped me I think I'm seeing shades, creatures that aren't there more tricks

the screen you heard may just be there to lure the sympathetic to their doom That's right That's why we should listen to the frog And we should do it as he says Well I did like that frog fella quite a bit

He was awful friendly He said I was special and you should at Whitehe. Is it this platform, are there anything like seats or benches? Yeah, I would say there are three wrought iron benches that you could

sit on, space the middle and then one on either side. I'll put my pack down on one end and have a seat at them in the middle of one of the benches. Then perhaps we just wait. Well, I can work on some songs. Now that I got it,

bit of an audience. As long as it's not so miserable and depressing. Well, I mean, that's kind of like half of my repertoire. Well, that's what I'm saying is the other half. Oh, well, I got one. I got a song about this, this one, this one lady, see, and she was madly in love. And she, she had, she married a really swell fellow and the had a child and the child was taken away by a witch. It's got true loving it.

And as you have these conversations, you notice that the sounds have stopped. They've dissipated. And the noises, the screaming you haven't heard for minutes, five, ten, 15 as you all stand upon this platform and wait. And as the horror shrouded by the fog finally seemed to dissipate, you hear a far less threatening sound through the glum. the echoing of a slow and measured clopping of hooves, accompanying by the sound of the grinding of a wooden axle and wheel.

You see a shape in the fog that starts off as a dark smudge on the horizon, and then finally takes the proper form of a horse-drawn carriage as it draws nearer and nearer. Two light-gray stallions with dark gray mares emerge into the clearing. Their eyes entirely shaded by blinders, yet still walking forward confidently. Behind them they pull a large black carriage that shimmers with polished, ebony and silver-gilded edges, emblazoned on several surfaces as an elaborate crest featuring a crescent moon. There's a coachman sitting in the driver's seat, but you see no flesh amidst the heavy coat, red scarf, and crushed off the app. Where ahead might be is just an

inky void with two round red moats of light appearing at you. As quickly as the carriage appeared, it also feels as if moving in slow motion as it pulls up alongside the stairs of the platform. With a faint click, the double doors open to a warm and biting orange glow. Excuse me, sir. Are you our escort? The head of this entity that is manning this coach turns towards you, but staring into the inky void, all you see are the two red lights. No mouth and no words come from this creature as it waits. A stranger, a vagrant sent us. brought us here, told us to wait.

Are you a ride? My name is old Jericho Stix. You could call me Jericho, most folk do. Are we supposed to hop in? Is this, this, a ride? Are those the beasts we have to beware? They don't look very like weird horses, but I don't know, maybe they got a dark hat.

It doesn't appear that we're getting any kind of response. Those horses are the most normal thing we've seen since we got here. I'm going to go in. And I'm just going to, I'm just going to step down the, step down the steps and peek into the carriage and see what I can see. You peek into the carriage and you see a soft, warm glow.

Wish me luck, and I'm going to step up right into the carriage. Okay. I'm going McBriggs. I, again, urge us all to stick together. Well, you told me to stay behind you, so I guess I'm good at following orders. That's about all I'm good at. I jump in. Okay. Does anyone stay on the platform? No, I will finally stand and look at Baron and Jericho. Ladies first, I learned that.

Observing peeking into Catoon. When I look at the orange glow, do I see Marius and Breezy? If you're looking at it from outside of the character? No. You just see a warm blow. It's almost so bright that you can't see what's beyond. Thinking to myself that this may be the second leap of faith, I have made in recent history.

I will silently climb aboard as delicately as I can. When you step inside the carriage, the first thing that hits you is the jazzy brass music that fills the space. The second thing that hits you is that this space is considerably larger than appears on the outside, and it's decorated like the finest nightclubs of Galtica. Sitting at the center of a circular sofa arrangement, holding a glass of dark brown spirits is a middle-aged human man. He's impeccably dressed in a gray suit with slicked back hair and pencil-thin-mustache.

He smiles warmly at you as he crosses his legs and gestures for you all to take a seat. Philip Druskenwald, it's your service, Lord of Druskenwald and the Crescent Court. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. And this glum-looking fellow is Jorgram. Just Jorghum, not the most talkative riding companion, no, sirree. He's the last member of your band of Midnight Witchhunters. Say hello to our new pals, Jorghum. With that, the man who introduced himself as Philip raises a glass to the glass to

the only other person in the lounge carriage, a shovel-holding warp with a headstone chain to his person, looking about as dower as you might expect from one with such an aesthetic. Oh, geez, you take up half this carriage. You're all looking weak. Have a drink. I don't mind if I do. We appreciate your hospitality. Ah. The name is Samarius.

Oh, I know it. I shouldn't be surprised. He clasped your hand and shakes it. Welcome to Druskinvald. Well, hello, hello. My name is always old Jericho sticks, and you can call me Jericho. Most folks do it. Philip, may I call you Philip?

Do you prefer Lord Druskinval? You can call me Philip, friend. Oh, gosh, what an honor. Thank you, sir. And I'll lean down and I'll say, and your name is Jorghum? It is. Can I call you your groom? It's the only name I have, scarecrow.

Oh, well, thank you, sir. You can call me scarecrow if you like. It's easier to remember, for sure. Samaris. Renephyber, Marius is that, fine. Marius, excellent. How, if you don't mind, how did you find yourself here? It's a long story.

Probably wouldn't understand. But it's traveling through the dark domains. Like, I assume the rest of you were. When a train beckoned past man, and a letter flew out. I mean, I personally don't know. anything about a dark domain. I came from a Vandris. As did I.

Interesting. Well, was there a frog on that train? Was it like a spooky old black ghost train? It was an eerie black train. The letter flew out the window as it speed and fast. That was my handiwork. Then he nods to you. Georgrim, I suspect we all trek through the dark domains in our own way.

You may call me Lefica. I'm Farron. The heart's blight. Farron. My name is Zodo. I introduced myself. Sorry about... I'm just meeting all these new people one day.

I suppose you haven't heard me. I have not. Well, I'm from... You don't know yet. He's an introduce. So maybe you have. But I have. Briggs either cutless cratch

in your presence. Devonair, a pirate. Fared on the seas, am I right? Usually. Usually. Nice. Um... I mean, we're all from a dark domain, I guess.

It was dark when we left. So, I mean, is that kind of the domain you're talking about? I mean, every domain's dark, like, kind of half the time. You're in front, tonight? Yeah. Oh, is that one? Is that a joke? My point is he said, I don't know what the fuck he means by dark domains. And I'm trying to ask this guy in a kind of pleasant way what the fuck he means.

You're very pleasant. Why don't you just speak your mind and ask him out of it? What's the dark domain? Whoa. You're in one. Are you to... Are you telling me you did not travel through the mists to get here? I believe he's isn't.

It's quite a right. I mean, yeah, we traveled on a train and we went through some mist. It wasn't intentional, other than being offered or finding a ticket and bedemias. You took the train, too, presumably. No. The train came past me. traveling through the mists between the realms of death. Like, like, on a train?

How do you do that if not on a train? Walking in the lantern, right? You can walk through the mist. Yes, the lantern protects me. Now, hold up, I would display my lantern, that it would, it doesn't burn fire, but it would glow in kind of, eerily, like, greenish blue.

But it doesn't really produce a light. And it kind of ever so slightly has, like, mists kind of, like, dripping off of it. Like, if you were to open the fridge and the cool air, would be falling yourself to show. I would raise up the glass that I had taken, that Philip is offered, and say, well, it appears then that you may be the missing piece that we need.

Cheers. Thank you, birds. Cheers. So, your room. And as you take the drink, you can enjoy a long rest. Yes! I am the bravest of warriors! Thank you.

Wow. Anyone else who drinks and enjoys the food and orders can enjoy our rest. I turned to the side and I'm sleeping, hiding my face between the, between the, sips, but keeping my mask as close to my face as possible. Is that like, what is that strange, weird, slimy thing in a shell? What is that supposed to be?

It's supposed to be tasty? Yes, quite. Does the S-Car go, Cherokee? Try it, you'll like it. Escar, we were in a train car? I'll try it. Jesus Christ. Oh, no, Virgil loves all sorts of gross bugs.

That's delicious. Oh, this is my weird Virgil. He's my worst friend. I point to a really horrific demonic crow on my shoulder. He's like, back in my head. So all the question. So when we saw the miss, they could turn into horrible creatures and they could suck your souls out and do incredible damage. But you can just walk right through totally and old, because of that land to me. I travel through the mists. Killed the beasts that attack me

as I go, but the mist itself do no harm to me. How do I give me one of them? I don't know that there are any other lanterns like mine, but I traded one dark master for another to get this lantern. And if I didn't have to be protected by its light, I wouldn't choose it.

Do they sell them? Not here. Ouse. But his ability to walk through the mist makes him the perfect six to your group of five. and the rightful witch hunters that I need. Are you looking for something? Are you just here?

I go where the lantern bates me. When I received my letter, it didn't just fall out of a moving train, which I guess I haven't seen that before, but that was pretty weird. No, it was pretty weird. It's one of the weird experiences in my life, for sure. The letters on the paper, on the parchment,

bathed in the lanternlight. And I go with a maiden beckons. She drew me here. Oh gosh, you got a maiden? Everybody here's got some sweetheart, except for old Jericho sticks. Well, if you mean us no harm, and you can protect us from the miss,

then we will protect you as I got. Yes. Do you have any friends, you're not? Look down, my hood comes over a little bit, I'd just say. That's where you're wrong. You have five friends right here. Virgil doesn't count. But I do.

That makes six. Oh, six, well, I didn't want to presume you are a lord. Well, I presume for a lord once, and I ended up in a cage for quite a while. It was really more of a broom closet. Teach their own friend. So, look, you said that you arranged our meeting. here. Well, straight to business, I see. I like that. Yes. And you said something about hunting witches. Well, you see, old sport, I didn't extend the hand of friendship and an invite

to my humble abode for no reason. You see, here in Druskenwald, I've got a big problem with a capital P, and that rhymes with T, which stands for too many witches. I sounds like a problem. And we're the ones you need to help deal with wishes. Yes, I'm afraid there are just too many witches, 13 too many, to be exact, one for each of the provinces of this domain. So, nowhere is safe from Mother Midnight and a covened. They've been around for years, but never have they been this feisty and antagonistic. I mean, look above you at the moon with a face only a mother could love. I can tell you it wasn't always like that here. My name isn't Philip Droskenwald. The coven of the Midnight Moon is up to something truly nefarious.

I just know it. And while the good people of Druskenvald are in danger, Lord Philip Druskenvald, cannot sleep a wink and that's where you all come in my associates I'm putting together a team you all have friends in high places that to put it in colloquial parlance and therefore a unique set of skills uniquely suited for my unique problem my unique problem of witches say no more tell us where they are you tell us how to defeat them and consider it done I like the way you think Marius and of course a successful business unlike myself I don't expect you to lend your blades and banjos and shovels to my cause without a fair and proper trade that's beneficial to all parties involved. Fortunately for me, and you, I'm a bit of a

collector, and the scope of my interests and hobby spans the whole love of interest. My wife Adela, who's the most enchantingly beautiful woman in the universe, by the way, tells me I have to get rid of some of my old junk. But as the wise ones say, one's man, one man's trash is another man's treasure. So allow me my, allow me to offer my junk as thanks and proper payment for your time, effort and skills to pay the bills to kill witches. If you kill Mother Midnight and put a stop to whatever nasty business she and a daughter's are up to, I will gladly give you a firm handshake in the ancient artifact that will handily and conveniently solve all your problems.

Talk about an offer you can't refuse. Well, either way, you can't really refutes. Since while the coven of the Midnight Moon lives, the mists around Ruskinval to one way for everyone, but the vagrant, mysteriously. That froggy fellow sure is full of surprises, but to put a fine point on it, you're all trapped here until Mother Midnight is dead. At least that's my best guess, and that's all we have, so it'll have to do. Wait, wait, wait, you mentioned artifacts.

Oh, yes. You couldn't possibly know what I'm thinking or looking for, could you? Well, maybe I could. And with a swift motion, Philip reaches into a drawer beside him and produces a crystal ball, which he gives a light toss into the air. It floats at his eye level and starts to glow with a shimmering light as a swirling wisp of color appears within. Borrowed this from the old ball and chain, since it does a bang-up job showing rather than tell him. Adela really does have such a curiosity and fascination with a spiritual realm.

But don't tell her I snatched a crystal ball. I'll be sleeping in the death doghouse for a week. Anyway, let's take a look at the fabulous prizes that can and will be yours. Phillips snaps his finger and immediately the smoky swirl within the crystal ball takes shape and what appears to be a pendant in the form of a belladonna plant with three right berries with a long chain attached and shimmering in silver as it rotates within the ball. since you've been so patient, Jorgram, we'll start with you. You don't need me to tell you that this is the Nightshade Amulet and that your bed angel will be very interested in using it

to reclaim a bit more control of the miss she claims to be the mistress of. I'm glad to kill your witches if that's the prize and if it takes just a couple of names off my stone. I love to hear it. I gotta get rid of it, and I'd rather no one have it but you, Yorghum. Philip snaps his finger again, and the nightsheet amulet shimmers and fades is another artifact tape shape. It seems to be a stone statue of some seated crocodileian creature with bright gems encrusted all over it. And for you, Captain Cratch, the idol of Croxigle. All you have to do is take that exotic cutlass of yours, tip it to the head

of the reptilian god, and boom! The souls the blade have stolen will be returned to their proper keeper. Your curse will be lifted and your skin will turn back to something someone would want to make a subtle luggage out of. You're saying you can fix this. I can't, but the idol can. And I got to get rid of it, so I'd like for you to have it. It's the same dead crocodile guard that this thing was an effigy of. It is.

How does one spell this crocodile bird god? I don't fucking know. When I first told you about it, I said, I couldn't even pronounce it. I can all pronounce it because he just said it. Croscador? Crasador? With another snap, the idol of Croxigor shrinks and glows, and soon it becomes a gilded chalice made from rose gold, shimmering in pinkish light with similar rosy water within the goblet.

Speaking of breaking curses, we have the grailadone for brave Sir Marius. You'll get more than a sip from this cup, and it packs way more of a punch than giggle water. Wait. Down the whole thing, and it will take care of your complexion and much-needed dental work. But wait, there's more. How does the divine radiant power of the sun itself sound? To solidify the might of itonia. No, no, no, you are not telling me that you own the grail of dog.

Of course, it's in my chateau. And how am I supposed to believe you that you just, you just happened to have this grail that I've spent 50, 60 years looking for? Ah, what a shame you hadn't gotten here sooner. You could have had it 50, 60 years earlier. And I could have been without witches for 50, 60 years earlier. Prove it. I just did. It's there in the ball. I'm having a masquerade. And when I do, you can see it in the flesh, or in this case, in the cellace.

It does seem awfully convenient. But we're not done. He snaps again. The image within the crystal ball shifts and changes again as Lord Phillips' command, and soon within is a craft bell of jet black metal adorned with skulls and raven feathers. And for our mysterious master maven, Miss Nightbourne, we have the shadow knell. Each ring of this deathly artifact will break the barriers, keeping your beloved higher power from a rightful. domain. Not to mention teaching

all you know who to keep a feathery fingers out of cookie jars. She has no business thicken them in. Juicy. Virgil, keep your feathery finger without a cookie jars around. I'll look upon it and not very slowly. I did not think

that I would want the artifact that you show one, but it is what my heart desires very much. And don't I know it? We all have something we want. I want to be rid of witches, and if this is what it takes, then this what it takes. I will join you in this quest. Love to hear it. He snaps again. And the bell and the ball fins out and turns into an intricate bit of wicker, string, feathers, and beads carved from ancient

stone, all woven together in a web-like pattern. And Farron of the Hartsblight will absolutely love the wicker dream catcher. Just sleep beneath it and your soul can travel to anywhere in a vantress and the plains beyond while you dream. So you can spread the Harts blight anywhere your heart desires. Anyway. Anyway. If you dream it, if you believe it, you can dream it or something like that. I read it in a book once. All right.

I'll do it. With a final snap, one last time, the artifact changes shape, and within the ball is nothing more than a simple key. But rather than it being forged from metal, it seems to be crafted by a semi-translucent material in the color between yellow and orange. Last but not least, we have my old. pal Jericho. For you, the amicke. It'll turn off the voices without the mess, the happy medium of what you've been looking for. I'd like that very much. Are these like pretty witches or like, are they gross witches? Can we, can we resolve this perhaps through a song and dance number, or is that we just got a kill? Maybe one or two, not the whole lot. Well, I suppose I'm, I'm okay

and kill him folks. So he's especially brutal. Yeah, I'll do it. That sounds about him as. All right. Then he reaches forward. Let's all shake on it. And from each of you,

he motions to shake your hand. I put my hand out first. Thank you, Philip, for bringing us together. I think faith is intertwined very much. Oh, yes. Yes, Miss Knightbone, I do agree. And he will shake each of your hand

as you're willing. Before I reach out, but before I shake his hand, I look to Briggsley and I say, I told my friends here, one of the tenets is to avoid negativity. One of the other tenets is to also always aid. People are in need of help, and so are you.

I'm avoiding negativity and choosing to believe that you will lead me to this couple. If I find that you are lying, there will be consequences. Do you see a smart, a light across this entire face. I won't even make you roll for it.

It is a smile of sheer genuineness. As he reaches out and grabs your hand, he clasped it to the side. You've got it, my boy. You've got it. This witch problem has been plaguing me for far too long. And if I can help you and you can help me, then by Jove, that is exactly what we need.

Then we have a deal, and I look to Briggsie, and I just nod at him. Our fates are very much intertwined. I would reach my hand out and go to Shake Phillips' hand, and as long as he- Sike! I was gonna say, you thought. As long as he presumably takes my hand,

that when we go to shake, I would grab his hand, not like really pull him in, but just not let him go. And then, I've been tricked once before by someone promising something. I wanted. That person was dear to me. I would have given my life for them. You, I don't know.

How is it that you know all of our deepest desires? Well, that's an easy thing, friend. When you're trapped in a land like this, you've got all the time on your hands that you need. I acquired these artifacts somehow and I inquired their importance. Through them I heard about you, all of you, wandering wayward travelers as you were at the time. And I called you here. What good is this artifact to me?

But it could do you a lot of good. What are these witches to me? A nuisance, an absolute nuisance! Well, I don't like... Well, if you don't like wishes very much, neither do I. We're gonna kill some witches, Yorghum. You wanna be friends? And also kill witches while we're friends?

You don't want to be friends with me. Oh, no, I would like that very much. It's a quick end. But I'll bury these witches. Oh, I get... I'll show you saying I sit back down. And before you let go, he'll clas your hand too, and he'll look you straight in the eyes.

You have no reason to trust me. And to be frank, I have no reason to trust you either. But all I have is hope, and in a land like this, all you can have is hope. So let's hope that we're both going to do. what we need to do here. I actively nod my head when he mentions hope. I have no hope, but I work to restore it.

He slams you on the back. And it's not painful, it's a hearty, friendly pat on the back as he agrees with you. Ow! Briggsie! I sense some hesitation, but I'm not surprised from the coupless. All right.

Seems a little fishy, you know what I mean? You're convenient that the six of us are here, and that you just happen to have everything we need. Oh, yeah, it's very good. Well, to be fair, in my art gallery in the chateau, I've got even more than that. I could have called 45 of you if I wanted, but I had to find all 45, and you were the first six I found.

Look, at least half the people in this carriage are very easily tripped, and I'm not looking to be tricked again. I've got a lot, I'm losing things to lose. So, I'm no issue. It's you crossroads, isn't it? Show yourself, you're not going to trick me again. You understand? Would you like to look inside of my coat?

You want to pat my face? You want to feel my rea? What do you need to do to know that I'm not Mr. Crossrow? I immediately pat his face. You do. You can feel the firm cheap phones in his face, the very square jaw. There's, even though he's cleanly shamed.

and assigned from the pencil, thin mustache. You can feel the light beginnings of stubble and the five o'clock shadow that comes along with it. I can tell this mustache is fake. Thank you. Exactly what I want. You swear on everything, including that wife you love so much, that you are not Mr. Crossroads.

I swear on Adela's life and mine that I am not Mr. Crossroads. Oh, he means. All right. Well, like I get you. said I don't have much left to lose, so... I'll reach my head. He reaches out and you vigorously shakes it.

Sorry for this smell. No, mind it at all. Now that's the proper caper. Pleasure doing business with you, my witch hunters. And to sweeten the deal, I've even thrown in a house for you all to stay in whenever you choose while you're here in Druskinvald. The old luck what estate, but most of the locals call it

the crooked house. And most of the locals think it's haunted. But I know you find folks that I either believe such rumors they care one way or the other if it's haunted. Sound like a deal? The what manner? The crooked house. It's the Lockwood Estate or the Crooked House?

The locals call it the crooked house. So, a couple questions. One, your name is Druskinvold, and this land is Druskinvold. So this whole place is yours. This whole place belongs to me and my wife Adele. But we're trapped to you just as much as you are until these witches are gone. A little trap too. Your own land.

The only one that can go in and out is the vagrant, the stranger, or no name at all. Do you have any idea why? My only guess is it's these witches, something to do with Mother Midnight. As her power's been growing, and these witches' powers have been growing. They've been wreaking more havoc on this land than you can imagine. And the more havoc they wreak, the worse and worse things get. Do you find the vagrant to be an enemy? I don't think he's an enemy, but he's definitely not a friend.

What his real goal is, I don't know. but for the right amount of coin or trinket, he can get a few things done, like delivering a few friends to my doorstep. Understood. When did the trouble begin? Centuries ago. Once the witches first started deforming en masse,

when the whisperings of the name Mother Midnight started, arriving at my doorstep. That's a long time to have witches. Glad you're in. What took you so long? Take your help. Well, at first it was just, whispered. And for all I knew, they were just speaking of Mother Knight.

What do you know of this Mother Knight, the leader of the Covenant I imagine? Mother Knight, no, Mother Knight's more like a goddess. She's worshipped. I look up to the ceiling of this cabin, the character that we ride in. Do you know if it is associated with the strange face we saw on the moon? I'm glad you asked that question. The strange face in the moon, didn't start appearing until this Covent of Witches 13 Mother Midnight at the Head started really getting into their nefarious deeds. Once they got their tendrils into the land, the moon changed shape. Perhaps these witches are not all back. Perhaps not, but the things they do

sure are missing children, families. And on top of that, it seems like beasts being born with things not quite right. What do you mean by that? Not quite right. It's a not talk of like to have around mixed company. How do we find these witches? You could start in Cyril. I think you could find a lead there. But you'll need a night's rest. I almost hesitate to ask.

But with the moon that the way that it is, that is not saloons me. No. Is there no sunrise? Not in this land, friend. We've got dusk. to midnight, and that's all you've got here. When you say saloon, I turn immediately,

lifting up my mask and spit me for it. I, would I have noticed? I would make a show of it. Okay, I would pretend not to notice. Do I notice? I pretend I did. Yeah, I would pretend not to notice. Be cool. Is how, this may be a foolish question,

but no. How do we tell the time, the hour, the day? Well, for me, I use my pocket watch, but you just guess. You think they sell fancy pocket watches where we're headed? In Cyril, maybe. They're a bit religious, so they might have the symbol of Fultus on it, but it'll tell the time they're the same. Fultus? Yes.

Like a foe? Like a weird horse? By weird, I mean small and young? No. Oh, this is all very overwhelming. I'm not used to, this is very exciting. So you tell him, mate, when you got 13 witches. 13. 13 witches.

He said that many times, a lot of witches here. We need to kill all of them. I feel that if you can manage with Mother Midnight, the rest will go down, a snake without a head after all. And I make sure that I'm clear. Mother Knight is a ghost. but Mother Midnight is a witch and one worships the other and she decided to name herself Mother Midnight.

It's possible. What do I know? I just know I have a witch problem and I need it gone. I'm not sure starting with Mother Midnight's theme at Forward, the wisest path. If I saw a beast with 13 legs, I would start by cutting off the legs. I agree with Lothika. She's correct. The choice is yours. I'm not going to tell you which witch to go after first. Which is which? I don't know. Maybe if we kill Mother Midnight, they all die. Or they all scatter in fallen ravines or something.

If I die in Garfinite, do I die in real way? Gosh, I don't know much about wishes, but I know about hacks. And I know you got to kill each one. To kill them. We have to find them first. It's got a good point. I'm hoping our friend Philip here

can point us in the right direction. This car's thinking of logistics. To what? These 13 provinces, where these 13 witches reside. Yeah, they're all around you. Which province are we in right now? Well, it depends.

Well, Druskenval is the whole place. A map. Any kind of direction would be helpful. I can get you one. Not tonight, but I can get you one by tomorrow. How far is it to the estate? We're on our way there now. Would you like to know more about it?

You're going to stay. there, you might as well know what you're getting into. Why is it called the Lockwood? Well, let me tell you. Well, that's because it was the house of Eustace and Petunia Lockwood, one of the most prominent land-owning families and Fulcens, which they mostly grew tea that's still enjoyed to this day by much of Dreskenwald. And it makes for dynamite Earl Grey, I might add,

which was Petunia's prize recipe. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, you see, the fine people of Fulsons are deeply religious, and they love their gold Fultus quite a bit. Fulcens, that's where we are, by the way. Cyril's and Fulstens. But, old Eustace never cared much for religion, so he and his wife had a house built a good distance away from Cyril,

the capital of the province. And so he could oversee his lands and fortunes away from the religious demands of the city. Not Bishop, Rinalt, the Lord of Fulcens, received so much tax money from the family he left them be. Smart thinking, if you ask me. And about 20 years ago, Eustace began complaining about nightmares that increased in their frequency and intensity.

The last time he was seen, apparently it was positively a mess, and had confined, confided in several trusted friends that he was worried he was going mad. Then one day the entire family vanished, including their two children in Butler. When the townspeak checked out the place, there was neither hide nor hair of any of them. But they quickly reported strange occurrences that spooked everyone so badly that no one would claim the deed for the property. And so in his infinite generosity, Archbishop Renault gifted the estate to the Crescent Court. While taking the numerous acres of farmland for the Church of Fultus,

and now I am gifting the old house to you. Philip reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out a folded document on weathered paper with faded ink. Placing it on the table you all sit at. You can see a family crust on the letterhead of a white peacock flanked by two fruit trees. And on that convenient note, I believe we've arrived at the Lockwood Estate. You all can settle into your new home while I continue on to Cyril to get an update from the archbishop on the goingsons of these evil-doing witches. Where it is that Mother Midnight herself is the member of the Coven active infolcence. So, why not try to cut off the head of the snake, I say, and I'll say it again. With a heavy

click of a latch being undone, the door to the carriage opens to the darkness of night outside. Neither the chill of the night air nor the sounds of evening penetrate the threshold to the lounge. Philip raises his hand in a gesture to imply that you are all permitted to leave. Here's your stop. Just to be clear, you say we don't believe in ghosts after we were quite promptly assaulted on the train right here by horrible spirits. Well, those are souls, not ghosts. We'll take care of whatever's in the house. You have to hear it. It's all yours.

And I leave the, I leave the, uh, the carriage. I can leave that? Please. Be glad. I've got a meeting with the archbishop and Cyril, and I can't be late. No, why would you even wish to say that? He's a lord. It's very nice to make your friendship, Mr. Lord, sir.

That was great to meet you, Jericho. And this place is ours. It's all yours. Do what you want with it. We own it, collectively. Collectively own it. Re-decorate it, burn it down, do what you want. One six of that place. That math checks. I appreciate the equity. I'll sleep in the hall.

You shakes your hand. It was great to meet you, that cutlass. I'll give them a look up and down and just hop out of the carriage. Nice to meet you too, fair enough. A hot splight. With my tail on. Yousa. Don't tell it about here. I would just nod to them and walk off the... He'll pat you on the back as you make your way off the...

The whole tear. He's just like that. Who brazes like to be? I'll stand and gather my things and then go up to Philip. Thank you, Philip, for bringing us together and for the potential reward I see great things in our future. Challenges, perhaps.

If you should need anything, you know where I leave. And I'll get off the carriage. He smiles at you. I'll call if I need. See you soon. Do not forget the map. I won't.

I'll have it with me hand in hand next time, and maybe you'll get to meet the old ball and chain. Thank you. Have a good night's rest. And when you're ready, head on into Cyril. We'll see you soon, see you tomorrow, in the morning maybe, or it's not really morning. When I can make it, I'll be here. I will attempt to tip the driver.

They got a gold piece, hold it up. The door slowly shuts as you walk towards the driver and you hold up a gold piece. Without even looking towards you, he snaps the reins and the carriage begins to move slowly at first, and then faster as it picks up speed around a small circular, driveway at the front of this house as it takes the pathway back on out and towards the tree line. Well, it's always nice to ask them. That was mighty kind of you. I feel foolish and rude that I didn't offer. He did such a great job getting us to our new home, our beautiful new house. As the clopping and rattling in the

carriage grows distant, you stare up at your new home on the hill and immediately understand why locals call it the crooked house. The winding path at the hill, choked by overgrowth, on weeds and the roots of spindly trees leads to a tall multi-story building. Vained with ivy where there's not a single straight line or right angle that you can see. Its unsettling construction is made even more eerie at the clap of thunder that booms overhead and rain begins to fall. As I lift up my shield to kind of shield myself from the rain, no pun intended. And I look at the house and I squinted my eyes and I say, I have many thoughts. I do not trust to this Philip as far as I can throw him,

but I'm trusting in my god and his tenets. Whatever might be in there, should not be a surprise to us, like the train was, but I don't want to assume. Gosh, that's quite the, uh, it's a very lovely, lovely piece of property. It's surprising that no one wanted to, uh,

wanted to take it. Jericho, that should be the least surprising thing about this. It's a bit of a fixer-up or I guess. Look the most important, but I guess we can run a thing. It's nicer than any of your commendations I've ever heard. Probably the same for me, at least on land. Did you look up, you notice that the mist around you is much thicker now. The time of night, essentially, that you were at was closer to dusk,

but it is getting darker overhead. As you look more at the sky, you see that that darkness might not be because of the time of night, but more so because of the thick storm clouds that have rolled in, is they're billowing around the treetops, hanging so low that they're intermingling with the fog and the trees. Out of character, do we have any sense of the time? Marius is upset. upset. Well, I'm going to get out of its right.

And I'll start to kind of hustle towards the front of that. How much of a down to, is it? It's begun to absolutely poor. I would not be in a hurry. I need you all to make a dexterity saving throw except for Britsy. Oh, sweet gods almighty. Oh, saving throw, you say. Yes.

killed it and by that I mean I probably didn't know Can I see you whatever's coming? A deck seating? I got 14. Oh dear. Oh dear, I didn't really. Have you ever dodged the rain?

I'm gonna go with 17. Nine. 23. Okay. Briggsy begins to make his way towards the porch as the torrential rain begins to pour harder and harder. And as you're standing in it

looking around, you see the flash of light before you hear the sound of thunder as lightning cracks down at a tree nearest you. Both Farron and Yorghum, you are going to take some lightning damage as you're going to take eight points of lightning damage each. As Farron, the branch that is severed,

falls and smacks into you, a jolt of the electricity still lingering in it. and you're grim, you're hit directly, but you're an orc, so you're fine. And you don't die outright. Is she pinned beneath the tree or anything? No. I'm not going to make that happen. Jesus.

So I got hit by the tree. I'm going to say you got hit by a falling branch. It's not like a gigantic one, but... Shit. I'd make sure she was okay and then hustle the fuck to the house. Like, goddamn. Not me, though. Brings you're a mistake.

Are you alright with my new friend? You can go ahead and flip over the math. Oh. And place your tokens, please, at the porch. Let's go. I'll, like, decline. Oh, kind of smack your hand away. Is that that?

Very good. Very good. Where's the entrance? That looks like stairs to a porch. It does look like an entrance of some kind. The wind from the descending storm shows you to the bone as it makes contact with your rain-damp bodies. You make your way up the treacherous and overgrown pathway to the top of the hill where the manor house stands. And immediately you notice the vineyard.

covered porch that wraps around the front and side of the structure. Its sagging awning with hanging shingles and wooden beams create a personified illusion of a malevolent grin, filled with yellowed crooked teeth. At the back of this awaiting ma is a stout front door flanked by darkened windows. So the door is probably here? Yeah, there's no door actually. Yeah, you're right. That's the door. There's no door where we were.

Yeah, these are windows. Yeah, correct. You all walked up through onto the porch. The porch was sagging in a way that the shingles themselves made it look like the horrible toothy maw grinning out at you as you stepped through them onto the porch. And yeah, you guys are placed right in front of the front door. I make me feel like I shouldn't be.

I'll walk up to the door. I will let it's in my hands. I need you to roll for a friendship. I'm just kidding. It's a mimic! What? I step back and I laugh and I say, Saloon, wish this.

You can make the flames. I kid. I will attempt to open the door. You place your hand around the knob and you slowly move it, and it is stuck at first when you believe that it's locked until you hear a soft grinding of the rust breaking away from the inside of the lock, and it is able to be opened.

Unlocked. Let's let ourselves in, shall we? There's our house. And I open the door, and I look into what I assume is a very dark entrance. As you step in to the Lockwood Estate following the heavy creaking thud of the front door, the very first thing you see is the creature swooping down from above. Your heart leaps in your chest. But you then realize this monster is simply a large bronze statue, a peacock,

with its wings, tails, and talons outstretched majestically on the marble pillar at the center of the foyer that once might have been quite grand, but now is in the disparate pair of two decades of neglect. A crooked chandelier gently rocks above you and cracked tile stretches out before you as the musty smell of an old abandoned house spills your nostrils. The staircase rises and snakes along the wall at the second floor from which a darkened balcony overlooks the six of you. On your level, there are three doors going in each direction. All of them closed. We must be careful. Even if Philip has the best intentions, there could be things lurking here or squatting. Well, you know, there could be a bunch of gross aminals.

And, you know, I once was in a haunted house myself. It was the old pie-timer place. And you got to be, we got to stick together. We shouldn't go in separate areas and watch out for a lot of spiders. and round bubbles. Spires. Oh, no, yes. Bambles.

Exactly. What is a pie timer? Oh, no, it was the old pie timer place. It was pie timer's place. What is a pie timer? That was the place. It was the name. What's in the name?

I could have written it. I did write a song about Pied timer. I'll sing it to you later. Who was the last to enter the parlor? Not me. That was the first. Absolutely not me. Oh, you seem to be in the back.

No fucking chance. I'm a saucebling, so I probably would have gone in pretty quick. I think Yorker and I were hanging out in the back. Everyone roll a D20 and tell me you get the lowest one. Oh, this is horseshed. This is Lekita because Lothica did enter first. I got a natural 20. Wow, yeah.

The dice are broke. Fuck, I got a 19. Get fucked. Oh, I got a one. Natural one. Yeah, you're fucked. All right. All right. You're actually fucked.

I'll switch off a fake for you. Strick while lightning, natural one. Perfect. You may continue. I'm literally going to. I just need to know that information. Well, so I, well, it was old Mr. Pytimer. So I think that...

Oh, so Pye timer is his name. Well, yeah, that was the place. So I know a thing or two about sneaking around spooky mansions. Jericho is being unclear about the name of this Pye Timer gentleman. No, I'd be very clear. His name was Pye timer. initially you are very unclear. I'm saying that there's wisdom in his words

that we stick together when we initially explore this estate. Understood. I propose that we'd start on the left and make our way around. Before proceeding, I would hold my hands up to my chest

and say a small prayer to Lathander and try to cast Divine Sense. until the end of my next turn I can sense anything affected by the hallow spell or know the location of any celestial fiend or undead within 60 feet

I know I'm going to get Virgil and just see if there's yeah it's celestial fiend or undead within 60 feet that is not behind total cover or affected by the hollow and hallow spell so I'm just trying to sense and what's the 60 feet it's only 60 feet so I mean you know

I mean if we're in here. That he has, like, line of sight of. Well, hallow doesn't say... It's not what it is. If they're just like... Throw it behind a door, it would work, right? Until the end of the...

What I will say is that you get the overall spooky vibe that you are not alone. That's fair. That's fair. I would say there's nothing in this room presently. But you definitely feel a presence from this. All right. Just a small prayer to Lefander.

I radiate red, goldish light. And that's, thank you. Thank you. That's very kind of you. Well, Lethika, that sounds like, that sounds like, what was it? What was it that Lord Phillips said? A proper caper?

I think, I hate capers. Terracob. I don't like capers. I think I might, you start using that in my lexicon. We are not so low. Are we not? Virgil says We're all going to die

He says he's going to eat our flesh once we do Everybody dies He's not to recycle things Oh that's true You start dying the second you're born Is that true? Gosh, really? Regardless

Right? Yes, that was lovely The future does not matter In this present moment The idea is that there is something here In this estate We are not alone Keep on your guard

Oh, um Hearing that I agree and I will unhook my chakram from my waist and hold it up and looking through it, the gesture to this door here on the left. Of any of the doors, I would propose we start with this one. I'd betray everything, of course. I would draw my sword, holding up my shield, and walk towards the door. Give it a try.

Does it shine all the time? Is it a... No. Okay. when you smite stuff, right? Yeah, it's not just like a torch. I'm thinking of the art. No, the art is special.

It's just a sort when you see it. But if I'm smiting, you know, that's a different story. It's like how Farnibose has his crab claw on the art, but that's only, I don't get that for a long time. Right. It's a floor of a crab foot for a while. I would attempt the door that you pointed to, see if it's unlocked.

You walk up to the door on the left side of the wall, and as you step, the dust begins to bill up and erupt out of this, out of the carpet that your boots slammed down upon. You choke back a couple of coughs as you swallow a bit of it back, and you reach the door, twist the handle, the loud creak in the sliding of the tumbler within.

The door is able to open with ease, though it sounds a little worse for a word. Without a word I proceed hoping and my companions don't leave me for death. I'm right behind you. The rest of you follow in, and your grim trailing behind as you begin to step through the doorway you feel a breath on your neck as you slowly turn and standing there behind you is a man and as you look at him you notice that he's wearing a

with a weathered black suit and black top hat with gray mutton chops his face bloated one white glassy eye his head forever tilted to to the land as he looks at you and smiles. What should be a mouthful of teeth is empty, disgusting black maw as what appears to be oxidized black blood begins to spill out of his mouth and down his face as you scared him. What do you do? I suppose I'd be taken a bit back. Shit my pants and shake your pants.

If you look to shit your pants, that's free. Oh. State your business, ghoul. It steps towards you. One step, and then the other, its head just lilted to the left. It's one milky, white eyes staring into you. That smile affixed to its face,

but not quite a smile as much as a horrified grimace. I don't know what you guys have in that room, but there's something pretty horrible back out here. And I'd ready my shovel. He's asking for you. Would I hear this? Yeah, absolutely. You're not that far from him.

I would turn around. I would turn around and look through the doorway and see what I can see. You turn and you step over to Yorgram. You can't look over his shoulder. He's significantly taller than you are, but you're able to look through his arm and you look back into the room that you'd all come from and everything besides, even the dust has begun to settle.

I would look and see nothing as I continue and say, Yorgrim, I see nothing. my I see nothing and I would continue I would continue forward. Your group, it's okay. I get scared too. I sometimes think that my creators weren't really good at spelling and made me a scared crow and added an extra D. So I understand it I get spooked sometimes too. Would you like me to stay with you? There are great many things that scare me. All of them far worse than what's in front of me. Nobody sees this. Do I still see him? Do you turn and look at Jericho?

Yeah. When you turn back, where this man, his head was a lilting to the left had stood, is nothing. Just the room. Yeah, it's empty. Yorghum, please, we need your lantern. Get up here with me. It's okay, Yorghum, I sometimes see and hear things that aren't really there all the time. And usually if I just sit and wait, usually stops and goes away.

The spirits never leave me. They're in this place, a crooked house. They just sound just like Virgil. He won't leave me be either. Let's, after you. I'll walk up with my lantern. One final glance back into the parlor.

Check. No, it had been there. You'd seen it clear as day. No specter, no illusory shape, a full-fledged man. No more man. stands in this room as you turn and you make your way through the door.

The circular room is built into the base of the manor's turret. It houses a modest gallery. Paintings of sweeping landscapes dominate the walls of the space, particularly showcasing crop fields, castles, orchards, churches, woodlands, and windmills,

with at least one albino peacock hidden in each piece. Various religious paraphernalia, all featuring the silvery lunar iconography of the god Fultus. is displayed for aesthetic appreciation rather than worship. Several leering gargoyles perched amongst the dower busts of historical figures above placards forever faded from the years of neglect.

The most prominent piece in this collection is an alcove at the far end of the room. Carved from now yellowed ivory is a larger-than-life statue of a muscular hunter with a tormented face grappling a grotesque, twisted boar-fox hybrid, with blood-taked fur and three jaws filled with rows of crooked rotting teeth. From the pierced belly of this beast extends a network of root-like tendrils that grasp around the strained limbs of the man fighting for his survival. Does he look like he's losing? Yes.

Unfortunate. What's he replaced here, huh? Looking around at all this, like, weather of different artifacts and objects and wall paraphernalia. Mostly paintings. Mostly paintings. Yep. Do I get a sense of what the purpose of this room would have been in? The good times.

If a room had a name, like if you were playing Clue, this would be named the gallery. A gallery. I would reach up in the painting with the man and the board. It's a statue. Oh, it's a statue. Yes, it's an ivory-carved statue in an alcove towards the corner. Okay.

Similarly, I would reach up and kind of touch it. I would like you to roll a perception check for me, please. 25. That's good money. All right. You reach up and you run your hands along the edges. of this statue and it is vibrant in this room, the bright white ivory that it's carved from, even though it is covered in dust. It still stands out from the drab wooden walls and the

and the modeled rotting wallpapers. As you trace along it, looking at this strange hybrid creature, the tendril shooting from its ripped belly and wrapping around the man, they look like roots almost and your eyes are drawn up towards its face where you notice that the eyes themselves seem to be completely blank and I'll say you you're even able to tap on it and hear that this is not a solid piece of ivory this statue is hollow that's happened there's nothing in it it's like a empty with a vessel maybe they were saving on materials it's not an unreasonable assessment

oh I will are the eyes of it like like you could put something in it or like yeah it looks like you could put something in it you could attempt to look into them you'd have to climb onto the statue to do so I won't be doing that but yeah it looks like things could be put in there

and I would say with a 25 when you tap it it sounds like they're might be something inside. Something small, and there was only in the last few taps where it almost sounded like the way that the sound reverberated. It hit faintly on something. Not something quite solid, but you're not sure.

Farron, please, what are you doing? Sounds like there's something in there. In the statue. I? Like what? How am I supposed to know that boy? I just tapped on it. That's a really excellent point.

Are you really good with beasties Even when they're made out of stone or whatever that is That's particularly I just tapped on the thing Are you good with Ambulin of all times Gross weird birds, crows particularly Like behavioral courses I am

First we should get to an affair How dare you say that about a lady I apologize I'm sorry, I'm sorry I get very nervous and scared So that's why I'm sorry I lashed out to you To you, Briggsie I didn't, that wasn't very unlike me

But I do get scared in these situations Even though I am a scared crow I believe that I was a scared crow That I feel like that is the case So nice I'll look around the base of it Does it look like there's any like kind of Like a pity dank perhaps

Might have an opening Oh roll another Roll an investigation check That's good. Five. You looking around this, you can't see any kind of doors or exits, as it were. You imagine if there's something in here and you want access to it, you're going to have to smash the statue.

Farrant, so be it. If you believe there's something in there, then we own the place. There's nothing. No one has been here for as far as we know, and Philip is giving us the rights. Leave the way. say the word it might not be anything good

but what a change to say we could curious I'm curious about what what's in the statue and you're implying that you're going to smash you to get it

unless you feel strongly otherwise I mean if this thing's real harvaries has got a bit worth a pretty penny we're going to destroy it the first thing we do is destroy our own property for what is worth we own it well I own six of it And you may have one sixth when it's in smithereens.

Now I own one sixth of the whole piece. It's a little bit trickier, doesn't it? I don't think... It's right, I'm quite familiar with property nose. You live in the dirt. How do you know, make Jesus? Gosh, you all are so much smarter than I am. It's so nice to have friends with no things.

I, too, am curious what is inside the extent. but I would propose that we wait and show some patience before we open it. If we have an estate to explore, we can open it in the... It's well after we get rest. I just look at one of them hopes and I put it to one of the eyes that seem kind of open. See if you can take a look before we smash down the thing. I look to Briggsie and I motion like he is more than welcome to do so. You're surprised to find that Lutthik is also motioning at the same time. No, you're the ones that want to see what's inside.

I don't particularly care. I just want... I want to own one six of this piece, and you want to smash it to find out what's inside. So I actually just want to use, takes a look, to see if it's really worth smashing. I don't care about the statue. I'm here to explore,

and Marius's a sense of something, and... Your Vigrim is seeing spirits. I mean, there is more happening here than... just the statue. I begin to sheath my sword and I look to and I say, if you're not going to look, then I will. All right. I climb up and I peer into these horrible liensings. I need you to roll a sleight of hand for me.

Oh, boy. Wow. You've ever seen the end of the lighthouse? Oh, really? Spoiler. And then Virgil's pecking it did. It writes itself. There's an illiter. Oh, so that's a very... Dix or slight man. Got you, got you. I mean, I guess Dex would be fine.

No, no. Yeah, just do. Actually, Dex wakes more sense. Oh, yeah, well, it turns out. The joke's on you is the same role. 11. No. You sheathed your sword.

As you grab on to this ivory statue, it's tall. It is near your Grim's height. This is a gigantic ivory statue. As you begin to put your, Put your armored boots on top of parts of this hollowed statue as your weight outweighs the weight of the statue. As you begin to fall backwards, the statue comes with you. You're going to take... You're taking statue damage. Fine. It's fun. There's no way the statue can get 26 hit points.

We're going to take four points of bludgeoning damage as the statue falls on top of you. I get out of bed for this. And breaks into a bunch of pieces. Oh, perfect. Oh, no. Oh, no. You're really sending the armored guy up onto the hollow statue in the world? That's what I suggested.

Are you okay? As I stand up and I brush myself off, I take my sword out of my sheath and I kind of like, you know, draw a little bit on the carpet. Not the carpet, the stone, the floor. And I use my sword to kind of push some towards. Briggs and I say, and there's your piece. And I begin to look through the smushed pieces. Look what you did. I ignore him.

You begin to, as the dust of the broken ivory begins to settle, you are able to start looking through it. And you do find something, a small piece of folded parchment. I pick it up. Did I have folded? Something was in there. And I would, I would, unfolded as the rest of the group wants to look.

That's in it. You open it. And scribbled on a parchment in a rough, haphazard scrawl are the words, nightmares in the crooked house. Grandmother's whispers in darkness. A windmill burns.

The thing in the walls. It wants my teeth. Bloody roots. Eyes in the amber. Beware the below. I will not leave this. place. The buzzing calls me, remember me, and then a name Gaston Dore. Gaston Dore. Uh, so then having read this and, and sure to whomever is looking over my

shoulders, I've looked at Lathica and say, you're the only one who agreed, you're the only one with a brain. There's something in here, unbelievable. That's a little hurtful Mary. And I kind of look at Jericho. Do you even have organs? No, no, I don't. That's why everyone here's got a brain. I've always wanted a brain. And a liver, too. I've been thinking about liver's. But it's always saying how he wants to eat liver. Something in the walls that I had until I think of us. And which one of you walked into the room last?

Yikes! Good. That's all. I'll roll for what horror. I'll roll for what art is salts my mind. I hand you the note. really to take it. Oh yeah, I would absolutely take it. Because you're the one who has any common sense here. If the spirits did not know we were here already. Now, read the message out of that again.

Oh, you want me to read the whole thing again? I don't know. Who was the signed-by? I could use it. I'll read it again. I assume you made a highly customized prop letter for us to have, right? If I hadn't woken on late, I was going to. I'm just kidding. Nightmares in the crooked house, grandmother's whispers in darkness. windmill burns. The thing in the walls. It wants my teeth. Bloody roots. Embers or eyes in the amber.

Beware the below. I will not leave this place. The buzzing calls. Remembering. Signed, guest Andre. There are way too many words in that array of words that I don't like as far as far as.

Prime and other things go, I'm upset. I'm upset. Fuck off. You know, I know I don't have a brain that has got all this horrible infernal juice and a filthy sack, but maybe the fellow were just right in the haiku. What was the name of the Archbishop? Renault. Rinald. Archbishop Rinald. Like the winery. The mystery thickens, I'm afraid.

This note speaks of a Gaston d'Rae. I would have assumed that it is perhaps a note put here by Eustace or by the Archbishop, but this is some other individual we've not heard the name of yet. If I take a quick glance just around the room we're in, can I see any like a painting or maybe the statue before was destroyed if it looked like the figure I saw before? I would say you stared pretty firmly at the at that figure with the tilted head. They were definitely not the same person.

The figure in that statue was a very large, hulking, hunter-like man. The figure in the other room had large mutton chops, a very Tim Burton-esque top hat. Much in this house would remind you of a Tim Burton film. Ah. You're telling me this was worth it? We broke that statue.

Who knows what it was worth? Avery statues are worth a lot on the after market. It was not intentional. His armor pulled it over. And you mean to tell me that it wasn't worth it? And we got just a horrible note of some crazy guy. And you don't think that the note might have some sort of importance? I think the cost to owning this home is going to come in more than...

I think that's technically true. I mean, there's a lot of hot that I had costs involved in your house. Especially this being, we've got to hire help. With that, it comes on you much more quicker than you could have expected. The entire room shakes as a loud slam into the side of the house.

The windows rattle. Jesus. The walls shake, the feet. You feel like it could be nearly earthquake levels of tremors in the size of this house as you all try to get your grips, and just as quickly as it came, it's gone. The world was that?

Wonder assault. Probably just the storm outside. You must be kidding. That's what I'm hoping it is. No, it's probably right. It's just the storm. Please do not be delusional. There's no way that was the storm.

Let's think of a police. I agree. There is no storm I've ever been in if it could cause such a single and instant slam. Well, uh, The tree branch fell on the house. Same as it did her friend. Right to me. But the tree branch fell on you.

I forgot. I would say, I would... Because of the tree branch. That's of my memory. It didn't sound like it was slamming into, like something was slamming into the house? It felt like something was slamming into the side of the house. Will you just take a look and confirm?

There's probably just a tree branch leading right up against it. Who'd like to join? I'm going to go. I'll go with you. Oh, thank you very much. I think we're all about jumpy. Joe Swelter. Sue our minds before we continue on. Oh, I'll stay right.

Don't go. Okay. Yes, it's three's company, as they say, come on knock on your doors. Oh, we should not, don't knock on our walls. We're not waiting for you. I feel bolstered by this song. Oh, my God. So I guess are we going to walk out, back outside around?

My thought was to be to be a little walk. There is a wrap-around porch, so you could walk back out. It only wraps around one side, but you could go to that edge there and see along that side. Yeah, so we'll do. We'll do that. There's also. It was in the next room. So you, you do, you make your way back around. You sneak, not necessarily sneak, but you walk slowly and carefully as you listen,

and you're able to make your way back outside. The rain is coming down. much harder than it hadn't been before. You see lightning striking here and there, thunder, shaking the entire place, not nearly strong enough to make that kind of jolt that you felt in the room,

but as you look along the entire side of the house, you've seen nothing. Nothing here? Well, perhaps that won't ever happen again and we'll be totally fine. It does seem, though, that the storm didn't cause that.

Step back inside. That does seem to be the situation. You really do have a brain. Mm-hmm. While we're inside, 15 minutes into this house, and already we have split the party. I can't believe, this is so wasteful.

I'm gonna just take like shards of the... Oh, and like, filling any pack that I have, and I'm just gonna start filling a bag. Do that easily. I'd say we'll return back and let everyone now. I'll tie a really a little elaborate knot and I'll be like, you know, before I look like this, I'm so good at tie nuts and I was so good with the ladies that they call me Don Nats. Oh, did they?

Oh, Captain Tye Knots. Oh, gosh, those are both great. Would you like us, would you like me to write a song about Captain Tye Nots? Caton, Don Tying Knots? His Tye in your middle name? Well, I mean, it were two nicknames, but I'm really good at Tyn Nott's. what I'm trying to say. Wow. Oh, that's great. Can we get on with this fucking height? We didn't find anything outside.

No tree branch has nothing. It's probably still gone. Just with the wind, I mean, this whole place is weird. So maybe that's just how things are out. I hate to think that it may be the house itself. Yes, I am beginning to understand the nature of how you were tricked. I'll remember that. Shall we continue on through this door or return back into the foyer?

Forward. Forward into this room or forward into this room? I think we should follow the perimeter of the house. I agree. I walk this direction. Okay. You all begin to make your way out of the room. As your room, you begin to hear the sound of fun.

buzzing, the buzzing bees. And at first you keep your eyes moving forward, not wanting to see what is clearly behind you. But the curiosity becomes too much as you see a bee flit in front of you this way in that one, two, three, four, five, six, twenty. And as you turn around standing there is the image of the man from the statue, but not made of ivory, flesh and bone, as he's being completely completely devoured by bees. His flesh, he's tearing them away as he's trying to rip bees from him. They're spilling out of his mouth

as he lets out a horrified scream. He begs and pleads for you as the bees begin to pierce into his flesh. What do you do? Damn spectres, what do you want? I would swing my shovel like through him. You take your shovel and you swing it through him and the cloud of bees pulls

out as what appears to be a slice through his torso as he looks at you in utter anguish as he disappears into vapor and mist. What is this? Yogren. You're right. Dark specters haunt this place. Describing to be put to rest.

Describe what you've seen. I was a man. Looked a lot like that Alabaster statue. Is that Alabaster? Ivory statue. It was hard to... Alexe Pierce, yeah. It was hard to recognize.

It was... It was... It was... Missing flesh and ripping off even more. And it was covered with bees. Bees? Bees? Yes.

Gosh. It's a terrible way to go. That was the more normal part of it. normal part of the specter is missing half of his flesh. What? Are you sure you're just not losing it? I've seen ghosts since I was very young. They speak to me, they come to me, it might be, that's why.

None of you can see them, but I can tell you that this place is absolutely haunted. All right, I'm sure, you know, I'm sorry, sorry. Vigar. Why are you going to head with Fiat is as I finish collectiveness? Okay. And I'll sort of stay behind

a little bit and I'll all finish cramming as much broken ivory in my back as I can. Brickson, you know, you seem real sad about this because I got so crossed because I was scurred. I was a fear. You can have my

portion of that pile of rubble two as a sign of friendship. Thanks. And I'll just turn back and I'll kind of continue. And then I'll join the next. Why don't you go ahead and I'll keep an eye out? You enter what is clearly the parlor of the house and are greeted by four grim faces. Hanging above a large and cobweb-choked fireplace is a huge portrait of what is unmistakably the Lockwood family,

held within a worn, gilded frame. The patriarch stares out from the painting, Glumley, his frown flanked by bushy, graying mutton chops that cannot conceal his heavy jowls, dressed in a black suit with ruffled white cravat and cuffs as well as a top hat, complete with an albino peacock feather. He stands beside his wife, who wears a perpetual stern expression with harsh eyes peering past a pointed nose. Her dark brown hair is pulled up without a strand out of place, and she holds a fruit with a green rind that stands out against the gray of her bustle dress. The children look no more joyful than their parents. With a boy's sunken, pallid face of an invalid in the girl's wide, fearful eyes as she clutches a doll with her.

white knuckles. Cool. While it seems that the family is staring forward in their immortalized visage, you swear it

seems as if they're casting their gaze downward towards the most prominent furniture in the room. A large circular table made from

a heavy oak is surrounded by six plush chairs. They're once luxurious upholstery now caked with dust. At the center of

the table rests a rounded wooden board of impeccable craftmanship, adorned with ornately emblazoned inlaz and letters,

numbers, words, and symbols, a small heart-shaped piece of wood with a glass disc at its center sits atop it. Those of you familiar with the occult would immediately recognize it as a spirit board with its accompanying plan check.

Props! Oh! Props! Props! Props! Props! Props! We're not trying to summon demons. Yes, we are! Every spirit! Oh, this is a fucking nightmare. I am in

love with this. Mace. I don't know who made the whole thing. I mean, that's like that's a good chat. Holy smokes. Oh my god. Oh, look like the cameras is lost in the mist too. Yeah, I don't know why it's like that. It's really bright. That's fucking badass as fuck. Holy shit. I'm in LRV. Can I take a picture of this? Yeah, of course.

No, you may not. Oh my gosh. Disaster. Great. Do we all touch it and then like get haunted? I'm sure this would be fine. Fine, Virgil. Do you make a picture of my coworkers? Because they're going to just shrug themselves. All right, we got some crows, and we got some blue roses, and we got more crowses and candles.

Beautiful blue roses. We've got some eyes. We've got an eyeball in the center, and we've got some moves. All right, so now what? Well, we see this thing. Yeah. So just this, given this, it doesn't appear to be a dinner table. appear to be any kind of a gathering table.

No, this appears to be more of a parlor, if we were playing clue. So who among us would recognize what this is? I don't fucking know anything about this shit. I would say Lethaca would probably be familiar. I would think your grim might have seen one. I can even imagine Briggsie. Which is this?

Oh, you know what I fuck with that? Someone was dabbling in dark magic. What do you mean? It's a table with symbols and in some sort of, of messages. He's heard a look. It's a couple of ewes. Looks like a game.

It's a friendlier than you. It is no game. This is a spirit board. It is a method of speaking to those who have passed beyond the veil. Those have died. Ah. And how does this work? If we were to commit ourselves and sit down around the table, we would be able to use this.

marker all of us joining hands over it it would guide itself and the message from beyond would become clear to us what I would caution

is as someone who practices is horribly cursed by black magic I don't necessarily recommend the left-handed path for everybody So what I would say is we should probably leave this alone. Knowing nothing about any of this,

it seems as though this is extremely important to whoever was here before. And I look up above the hearth at the family portrait. I mean, why leave something here like this? You said we're not alone. Is it theirs or is it someone else? It's squatting our house. It's pretty nice. I wonder if a better question is not like,

I leave something here because from what my gut tells me something horrible happened to the last inhabitants of this house. But why bring something like this here? They clearly needed answers to something. It's the only reason you would ask questions beyond the veil. Is that what you do, Jorby? That what you asked? Spooky ghosts?

I don't ask questions. I just listen and try and put to rest those that seek me out. That sounds mighty pleasant. A lot more pleasant than what I would have expected from a spooky spirit board like this. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night

and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons

5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Did you describe the first spirit that you saw? You mentioned Mr. Bees. I don't know that I would have described.

Mr. B. No, you just called and said you saw something, and Marius didn't say anything. I just said I have some spooky biz out here, and Marius is like, right. Thank you. Looking at this painting, there are many similarities

between the man in this painting, the man you saw in the first room. They don't look like a happy bunch of them. This, the man in this painting resembles quite a bit of the first ghost I saw, though a little more put together. His head's not crooked. A crooked head?

He had a crook in his neck, and he had a big, gruesome smile, and he inched ever closer to me as I stared at him. He was horrible to look at. You still say? It seems as though that's him. Lord Philip, he mentioned that the guy the last time he was saying he was losing his mark. He did mention horrible nightmares.

Didn't that there, fella? With the note? Didn't he mention nightmares too? Who has the paper? I have it here, and I'll unscroll the parchment and read again about that portion of the... the note from Gaston Dorei. It's the first line, right? But it is signed by a name that we do not recognize us.

We don't recognize that name. So maybe use this one really mad and assume that they'll turn into identity or what's possessed by some other horrible beast. Let the gut speculates. If we believe, even for a moment, that the state is still occupied

hide by the remnants of them. And I nod towards the photo. With Fanda help me by suggesting we talk to them. He's the thing. I've known a lot of desperate pirates. Trying to talk to somebody, anybody that'll listen and give them powers. So every fucking pirate you meet where I'm from, they all have some kind of magic,

they'll get some kind of power. Some lads, they contact the wrong fucking people or beings. And they get possessed, they're haunted, killed or worse. What's worse than that?

It is not about power. It's not about... It's about always eating. These people are hurting. They must be trapped here. All I'm saying is that when you deal with the occult, you never know exactly what you're going to get.

Some things going on here. Lord Druskinval didn't put us in this home for us to die. He brought us here to his land to kill 13 witches. It stands to reason. This may be a test. He may want to see if we're up to the task. Using this could invite these spirits. here

that to test us I was thinking that perhaps that very presence is inviting these spirits and was going to propose that we take it outside until we know more about this estate and have explored every room. I'm with

the Orgrin. If we believe for a second that this family is haunting this estate may be beneficial for us to contact. I'm certainly no expert. You get And life had to help me, but I think it might be worth it to try. Barron, you feel a tickle on your upper lip.

As you reach up, you notice that your nose is bleeding. Just put to blood. Are you all right? I reach into my coat and pull out a dirty handkerchief. It's like bad and white checkered. Here you go, Miss Lady. Take it. You can keep it. I got plenty of old filthy rags.

Thank you. Do I feel otherwise already? Yeah. I haven't touched that. You can't remember the last time you've had a bloody nose. It's very strange. That's not normal. Just out of nowhere, maybe from battle getting injured or something, but no, I've not had a nosebleeding quite some time.

Maybe it's all the dust in here. It might be allergies. I would sheathe my weapon and sit down in one of the chairs. to get a closer look at the board. You are able to do that. You're able to get very close to it. Do you touch it? Fuck, no.

Are you high? No, I would sheath, I'm holding my shield. I would sheathe my weapon. I would sit down comfortably, and I would lean over the table. I would not touch it. You look down at it, and you see that this board is immaculately crafted.

Though it's dusty, it's succumbed to the age of this place. It doesn't seem to be as worn as a lot of the other things. Though by looking at it, you can tell there's been used to it. The planchette itself, you can see marks where the grease of human skin, just the natural oils, have worn away a little bit at the edges of the wood itself. The flowers and different parts of it, the moons that encircle the main parts of the board, are painted in this strange, shimmery, blue.

some of it's chipped off, some of it's faded, but it's very pretty. I'd look to Lethaca, and I say to her, are you against this? Like with the statue, I think that we should err on the side of patience and caution. I, like Briggsie, have heard terrible stories of using a medium such as this to communicate with the dead. I just think that if we can help them, this might be the fascinating. this way. Well, maybe we could

have a draw happy medium. If you go looking for something, you're going to find trouble. If someone's trying to talk to us, I'm sure you could give us a sign and then you want to chat, then we can touch the thing. I would lean back in the chair that I'm sitting in and look

around. Give us a sign. I'm sorry if that's offensive. As you say this, all of you are rocked forward. It's once again that loud, slamming, banging against the side of the house hits this room. And all the spirit board on the table lurches forward. The planchette clatters against the wood and falls into place.

All of you sway on your feet for a second as the dust begins to settle. Oh, I believe that the house is upset. I don't think this is an external force. I immediately looked at the spirit board. Has the marker moved? The planchette moved haphazardly, but it didn't land on anything. So you look to see if it lands on the word yes or one of the letters, but it has landed on nothing and it seems to be completely motionless.

It's now that it occurs to me, was it on something when we came into the room? Yes. Do I remember what it was on? Roll in intelligence check. My man! Get some, dear, get some. I wrote this one. That was the 20, so I'm going to

roll a new one. Let's see. Hey man, just don't fuck this up. You know, we don't fuck it up. Well, I'm very intelligent as a cleric. 17. Oh, big money. What? I would, I would,

having been just, the house has been rocked, right? I do not believe that Lefanda would want me to deal with the occult. I don't think this is the occult. I think that we are here to have. Help! Whomever may be trapped here! I think we... Please!

I think we should leave. Every time we stay too long in a room, we get rocked and jostled. Yes. I don't think that he was responding to that sound. I don't think anybody was responding to us. Often that's... I think it's some kind of warnings to tell us to get the fuck out of here. Lathaka, please. How do you use this?

Medias, I will teach you if we can explore the rest of the house first, so that we might know what else is in here. I'm inclined on that sleeping dogs lie. We can always come back to this. It's not going anyway. Stay right there. Virgil? I would ask, very nicely,

I've really let you rule the roost here, so to speak. Could you please stick around with this spooky spirit board, please? And let me know if anything bad happens to it? And I would like to leave Virgil here. original in this room. The first time. Yeah. Okay. Attempts to. And where are you planning to leave? Also, who was the last person to enter this room? Briggsie? I was. Yeah. I would like to basically have...

Yeah, you can move that to the side for now, so you're right. I'll keep it over here. Because I have... Just make sure not to lose the plan chat. Oh! Hey, okay. Thank you, Virginal. I would, I think I would keep, I would want to have, so we're all the here. So there's a door going towards the television. I see one door here. And then one towards the whole way. And then one.

Oh, okay. So, it's hard to hold the tape. I think I would post, I post Virgil up on this chair if the chair placement insignificant. And I would want him to basically perch and keep an eye out and just triangulate and just keep an eye. A roll a perception check

and an investigation check for Virgil. I can't wait for him and go fucking so. Just for me to have in my back pocket. Because he's the hor. He does not have perception on it. Oh, he fails, whatever it is. Okay. For both of them? Oh, for, for, for, he failed.

And investigation. Investigation? Okay. I'm gonna roll again. Because I'm also assuming he is doing things on his own against your will, so. Garsh, Virgil, I hope you're not bamboozling me. Oh, no, you're succeeding in bamboozling me.

He's like, oh no. It's happened. Jesus. Oh, sharp. Uh, investigation, that would be an 18 for old virgin? Thank you. Right, and which direction are you going? It doesn't look like we can go north, right?

This is a fireplace. Yes. So this is a door into like an atrium. There's a door there. The atrium area? It looks, so this is a door. So this is a door here. This looks like a hallway.

Yeah, so there's a door here. And then a door to the hallway. And then a door to the hallway. From when I played betrayal of house on the hill, there's nothing can go wrong in the atrium. So let's go in the hallway, though, have we? So we don't even know it's a hallway, have we? No, so we don't know what's in the next door. That's a Resident Evil hallway, if I ever saw one.

I suppose we'd go into the apron. I think that it does stand a reason that Miss Nightbourne here said that we should just, or somebody said that we should go along the house and just go in a big circle or square crooked polyhedron. Ferran was the one who made the suggestion. We go around the perimeter of that. Farron, I'm so sorry. I just presume because she just stands really tall and has that spooky.

mass that she just says all that kind of stuff. So, I don't take offense by you. Oh, good. Gosh, you're very gracious. I appreciate that. The first thing you notice is you step into this room is the bitter chill of a storming wind and the droplets of rain that are whipped into you,

accompanied by the rapid fire hammering of the sheets of participation, falling upon the glass walls and ceiling of the conservatory you now step into. Desiccated vines and long-wethered shrubs lay about their tomb of foggy window panes, with rusted gardening tools scattered about. On the cracked moss-covered stone tile

that makes up the floor of this room is a pile of jagged glass shards, and when you look up, you see its source. The roof has a sizable hole where the elements attempt to invade the house from, but the bizarre, irregular, and bent leaning of the upper floors create a makeshift canopy that prevents the storm from absolutely flooding the conservatory. It's beneath this hole in the glass roof that you see the most unsettling part of this room. all of the browns of weathered vegetation is a single bit of life. A small tree grows from a patch of dark soil, wreathed and vibrant leaves, and even bearing fruit with a yellowish green rind.

Even with the opening in the roof above, it should not be possible for any plant life to grow here. Yet the tree stands before you. We've opted to go into the atrium. The conservatory. Conservatory, you're easy. Conservatory. Thank you, thank you.

It's not a misty. They're washed out. I don't know. As you said when we first came here, Briggs, it is indeed a fix her up. You find yourself in this conservatory in which everything is dead, all but the one clearly burgomat tree, burgomot tree, in the one corner that does seem to have ripen fruit on it. But even with the water coming in from the rain, the amount of time that there have not been people here in just the state of this place, it is nearly impossible for this tree.

to still be growing. And that is what you see. And the fruit's right. And the fruit is right. I would be not really looking at the tree. I would look at the perimeter to see if there's any other entranceways from the conservatory to the rest of the house. Looking through, you see that there are two other doors.

There's one immediately into the next room and then one into what you imagine or what you can see as the hallway, but you don't know that. So there are two doors. I mean, those are doors in this room. I see a door here, right? Yeah, so there's a door here. So this is part of the conservatory, too.

Oh, is it? Yeah. There's a planner. So can we see all of this? No, this is a wall. That's a wall. See, there's a wall there. But that's a door. Yeah. This is a door. So if you see, if you're looking along the lines of the room, if you see a small, like, gray portion, that's a door. I see it.

Yes, this is totally closed off. So this is like a right angle, right? And there's just a door here and a door here. It's very unusual that this plant would be still alive after all this time. You think it's a magical tree? It is possible. It's got fruit on him. Looks pretty good.

Briggs-y, you are not. For one second going to tell me to not touch whatever occult board is in the other room, and then you're going to preach to me about how you're going to eat. some horrific fruit. Oh, it was so horrific about it. It looks pleasant about everything else in the year. You must be kidding. But I didn't say I was gonna eat it.

What point is is that? Roll in intelligence saving, or intelligence throw form, intelligence check. Hmm. Okay. Look up. You've heard of Birkhamat before and you know that it is used in certain teas, especially in Brees. If you've always wanted to try it.

You've heard that the fruit itself is very, very flavorful, Being a citrus, you wonder if it is one of the few things you might be able to get a hint to the taste. Look, Mary's, I'm not saying I'm going to eat it, but, but I don't taste things. That's dead. I mean, I'm basically dead. But those things I've heard are so intense. And if it's in this land from that magical tree, maybe I can taste it. Well, it's your funeral again. Does anything, like, I'll kind of approach the tree.

Does anything, just having obviously lived in a forest, does it look off to me? Or like, if I touch a leaf, does it feel? The tree itself doesn't look off. A roll in nature check pad. More than a 10? No. I would propose it. I want to know what the fuss like that.

Oh, no. And then I put it down. Yeah, nothing. I know. Yikes. Well, what is your actual rule? Four plus. It was four.

So four. So six. Six. That was before I just did it. Yeah, but you can take which one you want. Yeah, looking at it, it looks fresh. It looks healthy and happy. You don't see anything off.

I objected to touching the spirit board. Seems fine to me. Because it was a medium for communicating with the dead, this is a plant like the statue. We can do what we want here. We own this house. Looking over my shoulder, as Lethica kind of talks at me.

Using my sword to look at me. the doors that's room to me through, I say, again, it's your funeral. I can't stop you. I mean, is anyone else just not even a little bit curious about what those things taste were? No. If we're gonna live here in between

trips out, I'd well know if the food is edible. Do you think they can make some tasty sort of carboneated soda from it? Some sort of frothy beverage? You can't sassaparial. I can probably. cause somebody to do just that.

Do you think the roots would taste mighty fine? How about a toast? How many fruits are there? How many fruits are there on the tree? Four. I will pluck all four. Okay. Who luck to join me?

I'll try one. Well, I mean, it's kind of a waste on me. It comes off easily a little bit of the, a little bit of the normal liquid that you'd experience to see pool right around where you popped it off, but it smells. very fragrant and nice and it feels

ripe in your hand. Well, I guess I suppose Verta doesn't care for Shatsboro either and I still quite enjoy that, so maybe I might enjoy this too. Anybody else? Karen? Much for me. I will decline until we rid the evil

that it's in this place. Got an extra. You want to join my orange toast? You're asking me. Yes, I'm asking you. I walk over and over Mary as I'm concerned, this doesn't help the people in this house,

so thank you, but no thank you, I will decline. All right, lives, to us, the real witch hunters. The midnight wish hunters is what Lord Truskinvold said. That's pretty cool, to the midnight witch hunters, to dinner. I'll keep the whole thing, to dinner. To dinner. I'm gonna, you, my jaw, to turn out. And it just, I just dropped the entire fruit into my.

You drop the entire fruit into your mouth. Your neck hole. I almost called you crummy. Brazy, you swallow it whole. You bite into it and almost immediately swallow it back. You taste nothing. The texture is not what. you expect it.

But you're grim, you're the one that this affects the most, because you're the one with a sense of taste. And you take a bite into this as you feel parts of your gum, your gums rip open as something slices in to the flesh inside of your mouth.

As you pull the burgomot away, the entire inside of this fruit is filled with human teeth. Wigsy, as the fruit tumbles through, you in pieces, you watch as bits of his open flesh, teeth begin to spill out of his inside. And inside of Jericho, you can hear the clattering of individual teeth as they all hit bottom of his, of the inside of his mechanical cage.

I knew Virgil liked that a little too much for a fruit. I think I'm back. It's a teeth. I'll take a bit. There's teeth in the fruit. The food is not edible. It's not real food. not real. It's probably cursed food. I'm probably double cursed now.

I would say at this point, Farron, you take a closer look at this plant and you see that the soil that it's growing out of is far darker and far more moist than the soil that is around the rest of the plants, which is dried up and is a little more brown. There is definitely something strange about the soil this plant is growing from. I'll take some in my hand and kind of of like put it through my fingers and smell it a bit and see if I can like pick up on anything. You smell decay and rot. All right. Didn't, uh, didn't the parchment from earlier say something about stealing teeth?

Yes. And I reread the line about stealing teeth. I don't have any. I just wrote down teeth. The thing in the walls wants my teeth. Um, is that right? I think that's what I am. Let me find it for you.

I had nightmares in the crooked house, grandmother's whispers and darkness. The thing in the walls, period. It wants my teeth, period. Bloody roots, period. Oh, damn. All right, so we got... With the parchment.

We got this guy. We got bloody roots. Yorgheim, are you all right. You feel around in your... mouth and you have to pry out a large molar that it stuck itself into the fleshiness of your gums. As you pull it out, blood begins to drip. You have blood pulling at the sides of your mouth. As you slowly, as you drink back the blood that is now spilling out of your gums. Yogre and Mike, I don't mean to be crass. Your shovel. I look to the tree. Dig.

Usually it's just for burying, but I think in this instance, I can make an exception. From the smell of the soil, something may already be buried. Oh, God. I'll see that. I'll start striking towards the roots and like shit like on earth. You take your shovel and you dig it down into the damp earth. And as you pull it up and the dirt begins to fall away, you see that the darkness of the soil is not naturally dark, but is blood soaked,

is it begins to fall away from a rotting human skull. It appears to be a woman in agony. The skull, like, is the face still there are bits and pieces of it that haven't fully deteriorated, but I would say you can't, you can't understand why, because looking at most of this, there should be no flesh left on it. You poor soul, you were never properly laid to rest. I'll step forward and look down at this corpse. It's in a semi-state of decay. It's bloody.

It's nearly mostly decayed. There are just bits and pieces of leathery flesh still stopped to parts of it. And it's evidently a woman. It is evidently a woman. There's a large crack in the very top of the skull where the roots are poking out of the eyes and out of the open mouth, which you will now all notice are devoid of all teeth.

As the roots snake down around it, you can see the bare stump of the top of her spinal cord, which looks to have been severed. Okay. And the tree itself is growing up out of the top of her skull. Some tragedy happened to here. Something happened to this woman.

She did not get here by accident. At the very least, it appears as though the notes accurate. That's good. John, I see you quick, like, once over the corpse and see if it looks like anything like... Outside of the head, there's no other parts of a corpse. It's simply just the head. Is there anything like, like it appears, or just the teeth are gone? The teeth are gone, and it looks like the spine was severed right beneath the... So it's like a skull with a bit of spine connection.

There's a very small amount of spine at the base of the net. As far as I'm concerned, there is something in the walls. We eat her teeth? She's why she's missing her own teeth? It would seem... Let out of you're going to be sick. I would propose that we... In some cultures, the wholeness of the corpse is meaningfully.

for it to pass on into the great beyond. I would propose that we return what teeth we can and restore for what we can. Yes, I agree. She shouldn't be buried here, though. I'll dig outside and perform her rights. Do you think you'll dig deeper here and find the rest of her? I can keep digging and see if there's anything else.

Do we really think that we need to get all the teeth? Perhaps even ones that are all of them? You're the one holding the tree with the skull. Because you dug it out. So you're the one holding the skull. Okay. No, I'm asking. Oh, yeah. Just for a yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no. Last. What? Oh, no. He left the room last. What do you think you said? As you have this conversation, As you have this conversation, you turn towards one of the doors.

As your ankle is caught by a root slowly creeping up your body. And as all of you turn to look, though your room is still holding the skull with the tree, the burgomark tree is still attached to it. At the very corner of this room is the floating head of a woman that seems vaguely familiar. and from where you imagine a spinal column to be is nothing but a long row of the spine and her nervous system dangling and flaying and moving in the air as she looks at all of you and begins to laugh and we all say this binds begin to creep up around you from the dead foliage in this room I need you all to make a strength saving.

Oh, yes! For the first time in my life, I've been excited for a strength-same. A strength saving through. Oh, God. Natural 20. Gotta give it up. Gotta give it up. Oh, I have a plus zero.

That's not too bad. Oh, God. Oh, well, I mean, is to roll the worst on the planet. Oh, oh, oh, oh, it's dead. No idea my stats are. You mean, it's a shing-me-cham. Yeah, yeah, sure. And in five minutes, you keep back on.

every deal. Oh, he's stolen mine. You're screwed. I saw it. Oh, thank you. What did you roll? Nine. I don't think I'm perfection, I might. Yeah, you are. So nine, ten, eleven, twelve, my guess would be at least plus. Did anyone roll beneath a 14? Oh, well, allegedly, according to Preachian, not me. Anyone who rolled beneath a 14 will take six points of bludgeoning damage as the, as the vines begin to lash around at you, as one of them reaches up,

the Bergamot plant from your grasp, it swings around the room, the skull flying over your heads as it slowly places it back down in its spot. And as the head sinks beneath the soil, the vines begin to calm and move back down as the face floating, its nervous system, completely exposed to you. The skull, the eyes hollow and empty

as it looks out at you. It opens its mouth as if to make a sound, no teeth within as it slowly fades and disappears from you. This cannot stand. We all saw that. Yes. This, this, this poor woman, she cannot be left here. Did she look familiar?

Depends on what you're asking. Did she look like a woman in the portrait? Yes. That's the lady in the house. Wait, that's the lady. That's the lady in the house? I'm putting two together. I would say, I'm not going to make you roll for this. I would say you could guess from the image of the skull

and the nervous system, the head in the nervous system, that the skull you underneath the tree was, in fact, buttoons. And they were like decapitated real thing at the same spot. The face that you saw had far more flesh. It was still decaying the one with the nervous system. It was enough that you were able to distinguish who it was. The other one had very small bits of leathery flesh still attached to it. Well, do you want, I guess you don't want your teeth back?

How is she having a trophy? She was having a grand old time. I don't know much about the spirit side of things, but it seems she wished to be left where she lies. It's not natural. We can't be expected to make sure that things are okay. here and first live here. And as you say this,

shit. The door off to the side slowly opens the one into the next room. And you hear a soft patter of feet. I'd pull out my gun and I just shoot out of your blast through the door.

Or at the door. You should roll a in a town. My God. Jesus. Disadvantage presumably. Oh dear. Uh, 13. You shoot into the room and you see bits of wallpaper and wood splinter off, uh, dust billowing up in the, in the darkness of the room ahead of you.

But you hear no sounds of pain. You hear no, uh, gasps of, of shock. Doesn't seem that you get a thing, but part of that. Well, I'm going to return the teeth because that's what, what, What Lepa has said, I'm going to turn around now and please no one look. Please don't look while I do this. And I'm going to turn around and I'm going to look over and make sure that no one's looking. And then I'm going to turn back and retrieve the teeth as as subtly as possible and pull up my shirt and try to feel around in there.

I'll say you're easily collect, able to collect all the teeth. There's not much in there. Do the shuffle shuffle until they all come out. And I'll grab it and I'll just kind of. like feeding like duts at the pond and just like chucked with the teeth bag. I'm sorry Miss lady. We will find her a better resting place soon, but we must follow these feet sums, I think. I would also just return the teeth and any more that are still jammed in my gums and just say,

demon tree, I will be back to bury her properly. You are able to do that. We make our way in the next room. Before you is a ruined kitchen, with broken shards of pottery from storage jars and rusted cutleries strewn about the floor. A heavy metal shelf that had once been built into the wall has collapsed,

taking huge chunks of plaster with it and splintering a table beneath its weight. A small door at the end of the room is very slightly ajar with a line of pitch blackness beyond. Beside it is a huge brick oven that looks little more than a fireplace with a sturdy iron door

that remains perpetually swung open, tilting in its disrepair. The darkness of the kiln nearly swallows the metal racks inside it, and as you first scan the room, you notice a pop of bright color within. Your eyes adjust and you can clearly see a circular pastry that looks somewhat like a mincemeat pie but with a layer of pinkish-purple frosting on top that portrays what you presume to be an overly saccharine taste. And is yet another bit of impossibility in this house, compared to the rest of the scattered and rotted food store,

it seems to be freshly made. I draw my weapon and I point directly at it and I say, Have we all learned our lesson now? I think so. Yes. How the fuck is this getting me? Do you mean to attack the pastry?

I think she means to get shit off. I can't award this, but take an in for it. No. I mean to stop anyone who believes in any more foolishness. This is not natural. And we mean to be here to expel it. Please.

What do you suggest? Well, do we think that there's some sort of mysterious baker? It's probably no. No, not that. Yeah, the pastry is sitting on the rack. It's all in the oven. There's a thing here. Do we get a...

Is it like lit and hot? You can feel the warmth coming from it seems to have been lit recently. Nothing else in this room looks like it's been touched, but the pastry itself and the warmth from the oven seems to be fresh. Is there pastry smell? Yes. It's a very soft, faint smell, but it smells your stomach crumbles a little bit. Even though you had some food in the carriage with Lord Phillip, it wasn't enough. And there is something about this that looks appetizing.

So I'm still not beyond communication to answer your question. But if that's not an option, we continue to move on, we ignore this horrific mockery of food. I made you a promise that we would return to the spirit board. But I do not think that we should enjoy this pastry. Well, so the oven is basically like a fire. place, like looking thing. It's like, it's like a baking, like a pizza. Think about a pizza oven.

Well, if there's a, if there's a proper chimney, do you think that maybe one of us should take a look? It's still hot to the touch, Terracuse. Every horror we've encountered so far has had a line in the mad ramblings of Gaston Bray. Is there anything after the bloody roots. Gaston writes of his grandma's whispers. A wick or something burning. A windmill. A windmill burning. Bloody roots. Eyes from the amber. But where the below. I will not leave this place. The buzzing calls remember me. That's what's after it wants my teeth. Beforehand, it's nightmares in the crooked house. Grandmother's whispers in darkness. A windmill burns. The thing in the walls. Gosh, I wish I didn't tell Virgil to stay by the spirit board. This would be the perfect opportunity to put him to use.

So looking at the floor, like, do we see any, like, footprints or anything that would have indicated someone in here? I wouldn't even make you roll for it. It is very clearly dusty in here. You would easily be able to see footfalls or anything. Just the movement that you've had in this room, you can see clearly where each of you has stepped. And? And what? Is it just our footfalls?

And it is just your footfalls. Okay, that was your question. Yes. Sorry, I was making sure. Is anyone going to eat the pastry? I would like to cut a steam and slice and then throw it against the wall. I'll see what.

Wait, see if there's it. Okay, I don't do that. I see you cutting, and as you cut into the pie, I say, be delicate. Two of the artifacts that we have come across in this house have had something of import inside of it. I need you all to make a Constitution Savings of your process.

This is bullshit. I'd like to smite your sorry, everybody. I got 12. I see that me, Jeannie? I fucking sorry, Zeeley. I got rolling so bad.

Nine. Just kill me. I'm down. Did anyone roll below 14? Actually, three points of fire damage. As the moment. As the moment.

your blade comes in contact with the pastry, the entire oven erupts in a purple pink fire, the same color as the frosting on the pastry. And as it does, you begin to hear the echoing sound vibrating through the chimney of what sounds to be the ancient cackle of an old hag. I was going to say it was better than baby bones and then you did the laugh. And as the fire begins to shimmer, to slowly return back into the oven, a new flame begins to erupt. Bright orange, reds and yellows. As you watch as this fire ignites, and you see very faintly under the door more light and the sounds of popping, fires, fires, fire.

Jericho, you get an alert call from Virgil that a fire has erupted in the parlor room. As all of the fires in this house begin to ignite and standing inside the oven is a man in front of you, his skin melting from his body. He screams in agony as he's trying to wipe the flames from his skin, but instead he's ripping melting. flesh as he begins to rip his face off exposing his skull. He screams and reaches out to you as he says to you as he says, parlor, help me. All of the fires roar. What do you do?

Virgil say the parlor, the parlor, we gotta go to the parlor. I would draw my sword and raise my shield and follow Jericho's instruction. All right, I'm convinced. I'll start running back the way we came to get the parlor. I will break my promise. I will teach you now. We fell into an oven full of fire. You turn from the man burning alive in this fire as you rush back through the conservatory,

now quiet the vines no longer lashing out at you, and back into the parlor where it feels warm and quiet. as once again, bam, is that loud slamming hits against the wall and all of you are shaken and rattled, but this time, the spirit board does not clatter. Instead, the Plam Chet slowly rises up off of the board and hovers and moves until it rests on the word greetings.

Oh my God, that's an actual word book. Yes, greetings at the word breaks. Derek, get it good. Derek, give me a space sale. thing. Oh, God. What the hell? Yeah, well, he's a man-possessed.

Stay for the great to that sound like. Holy shit. You might want to switch it to the other map just for the sake I would be able to really see it. There you go. See, you can really see the blue roses on the camera. Oh, yeah, the blue is really sharp now. It's crisp.

It's with misty before, but a freaking eyeball. We entered this room. Is the room itself on fire? The room is not on fire. The, there is not on fire. now a roaring, warm fire in the fireplace. The moment you entered that same slam that's been happening on the side of the house

happened again and you were all jostled. Last time it had thrown the planchette kind of off kilter and it had landed. This time the planchette floated into the air, slowly moved over and landed on greetings. It made that UFO sound. It did. Yeah.

And this fire is not the horrible witcher had purple fire. After that had dissipated was when this strange, the man in the fireplace appeared, asked for your help in all of the fires. What appeared to be in the entire house have illuminated. You can still see the faint glow under all of the closed doors where the fire is illuminating the rooms. So not like the house is on fire, but like the fireplaces are erupted. And I would say the sconce is on the wall as each of you takes a seat. One sconce illuminates and then another illuminates and then another illuminates.

as you slowly sit around the circular table. And the fire looks normal. There's no man burning with it. There's no man burning. I would take the seat that I previously took, and I would say Lethika now is the time. I agree. Everyone join hands.

Wait. What do you mean by this? I mean, what are we going to do exactly? And so I will explain a little bit, since there are rules to the spirit board in this afternoon. I don't know if Lethika's communicating all these things. You all let URP experience it.

So you will have control of it. I will tell you where the planchette moves and how that works. Each of you is allowed to ask the spirit one question. It only knows certain things and it will be up to you to figure out what kinds of things to ask it. And then when it's done, you will need to end with goodbye. It's just a modified speak with dead and how fuck am I? It's a modified speak with dead in the sense that you were less fucked than you would be if this was speak with death. So just to clarify, if this is important, if you can't answer, that's fine, if we like talks amongst ourselves and ask, well, how did this work? Oh!

No. And that's why it's not as fucked as speak with death. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You can talk amongst yourselves, and then when you want to ask it a question, you'll start with spirit. Mm. And that way, that way, that was... will be an indicator that you're asking the spirit and not each other. And Lepa can relays that to us.

And you have to be touching the plan chat. So if you were saying, should I ask it spirit, what's going on, that wouldn't work. But you all have to touch it and say spirit, blah, blah, blah, all six of us have to touch it, right? Yes. I explain this, looking directly at Marius as I do. But speaking to the group as a whole,

we will each be able to ask a question. We will be able to address the spirit. When we are ready to ask a question, be the first person to reach out can be the person who asks, but we all must talk to touch the planchette in order to convene with the dead commune. Who are we speaking to, do you know yet?

Who's the man in fire? I suspect that we are speaking to the man in the fire and that the name of that man is Eustace. Eustace Lockwood. But I do not know. The first question we ask, could be that one if you would have it.

I don't want to take lead on this. I'm not going to finish. You've got some mighty clammy hands there, partner. There's it only one person that we can speak to now. It's the person who's reached out to us and said this greetings. It is whatever spirits happen to be in the house. It could be one, it could be many. It could be something much worse.

Well, Mr. On Fire, fella, said to go to the parlor. Maybe it's Mr. On Fire, fella. Probably. Well, also virgated too. I look at Bergen, all here. Greetings, Spirit. We meet you well. We are ready to commune with you now.

We'd like the first question. I have only one question. And that is how we can aid these people trapped and punished in this house. Then we must release hands. You must release hands and you will be the first to place your hand on the planchette. Relay your question starting by addressing the spirit. Spirit!

Parlor! Help me! All of the fires roar! How can we aid the poor, unfortunate souls of this estate? You feel the planchette vibrate beneath your hands as it slowly begins to move. to the letter K. Oh my God, it's my name. Are you guys moving it? I.

K-I. All right, you guys are moving this, right? L. Yes. Yes, my pal. We are all moving it. We are all moving it. And then quickly back to L.

Before moving to H.A. G. Someone, someone, someone, ask, ask where or how? I know my mission I will follow through. Spirit, how can we kill this hag? You wait for a moment and you finally feel it begin to vibrate and move to I, T, T, S, B, E, L, O W. I am below? It's below. It is below.

There must be a basement. There must be some lower dwelling. Remove your hands. Join with mine again. We must decide what our remaining questions are, but I agree that our next step will likely be to find the way down. Well, there's...

I don't mean to be presumptuant. but if there was that headless lady and the guy burning, and I'll look back out, I'll look up at the portrait. Them two children are still around here, I'd like to ask if there's any way we can find them and maybe help them. Put your hands down and ask. But, Mr. God, I mean, spirit, can we help the children in that their portrait? It takes a moment as the plan chat begins,

to shake and it moves to the word yes. I should be asked how. Our cause is noble. That's all we need to know. This is very good news. Perhaps there is good we can do here. Spirit is still alive. Tanchet begins to shake because it moves to the word no.

Retribution and justice is all that lies in our path. We have to lay their souls to rest. Two questions. Is the hag the only threat here? Ask. Spirit. Is the hag the only threat here? The moment you ask, there's no hesitation.

If the planchette whips across the board and then back to the word no. When you left, would we ask? Let us discuss. It is your choice. You may use your question as you like, but I would put it to the group. If I can throw my hat into the... No, Virgil, stay away from my hat. If I can throw my head into the...

Virgil! Into the ring. I would like to know if the spirit knows where the them children are. So we can help me. It is a difficult call. Where are the children versus... How do we find out what other threats there are? Risk or reward?

We could ask, where are the children? Or we could ask, how do we help? Threats aside, we know what we must do. One of the tenets is always aid. And I intend to regardless of threats. That's a question, Jericho. I think that's a good one. The choice is yours.

Do we find the threat or do we find the children? To make the threat. Put your hand on the planchette. Let us see what other evil remains in this house. Where is it? We cleanse this place of evil. All evil. How do we cleanse this place of all evil?

What? What if the answers to Syme is given a hag? No freedom. I'm going to do my hand until we figure it out. Yeah. We know our mission. When you ask for a fart, Did you ask how we kill the hag?

I know how it killed the hag. And how is this? With my holy blade and by La Thander's word. I know it must be done and I will not leave this house until it is done. The how is not the question. Marius, you're right. There's one thing that Virgil's good at. You'll see, Virgil seems to be very pleased of themselves.

It's killing hags. I've killed many a dark beast Cutting off the head usually seems to do the trick Do we wish to know about any other spirits in here We know that the family is around But any others I I personally believe

Putting an end to this hag And alleviate the suffering What if we just ask the spirit its name Do we know? Do you not It is This has been a very helpful spirit. We are blessed. Perhaps we may need to call on him again.

It's a sign of good faith. It's a nice gesture. Spirit, what is your name? Takes a moment as the planchette begins to vibrate beneath your hands. As it moves to P, Lidoo. E, T, R. I have to go. I can't be here in honor. I have to leave. I have to leave.

This isn't okay. What is what? Patrini? Advantage the joke. Look up. I have to wait. I can't be here anymore. Katrina! That's a mighty fine name.

I'll write you a song for being such a hellful ghost. The fire and the fireplace begins to grow larger as all of a sudden it blasts up into the chimney. The spirit board at your hands begins to shake and quiver as the planchette begins to move on its own. F. Oh, fuck. I don't make you move. F, I,

Oh, God, N. The N, some here. D. Mind. K. D. Five kids.

S. Fine kids. M. Y. My kids. My kids. Oh. B.

O. O. K. Find kids my book. U. P. S. T. A. I. R. S. It lands on the final word before shooting to the word farewell. As all of the light in this house is extinguished, you find yourselves in absolute pitch-black darkness. It is past midnight in this land of night.

And that is where we were. Oh, my God. Find kids, my book upstairs. And then we kill the fucking hang of the beast, man. So I started blasting. So anyway, I started blasted.

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