Legends of Avantris - Edge of Midnight | Ep. 24 | The Fallen Kneel

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Our heroes return to the once Crooked House to find it crooked once more...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/fUQAWbcyFb0?si=9lo_-ES9hZtFMEEN

Welcome to Legends of Adventress. I'm Adela Droskenbald and you're listening to Edge of Midnight. Here's what happened last time. We must get this antidote to Cyril. The heroes of Cyril have arrived. Well, you may not have cleared the town of witches, but it looks like you did a good thing for Cyril by getting rid of that old Archbishop. If you're ready to go, I would suggest you say your advice.

We'll go ahead and get into my carriage and I'll take you to your home. Colette does run up to each of you and give you a big hug. timidly tells you that she is queen of the city and that she's very excited to be a queen. That's mighty impressive. I'll write a song with the great Queen Collette, Mirabelle, first of her name. Because this is nothing like that horrific house that you had seen before. This is warm and inviting and beautiful and uncomfortable. Oh my god, I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait for you to see everything. That's looking gorgeous!

Adela freezes as the candlelight goes out in this room and then the next and then the next and the next and the next is every single light in this place is snuffed out one right out. right after the other. Billy Van Brunt. Oh no. Crooked. Shambling towards you. You'll be crooked too.

Wait, this was supposed to be a happy chapter of our story. One of victory, one a rest. One a celebration. But everything's gone so very, very wrong. Right as I was starting to think that our protagonists actually could overcome any challenge they faced, I do say this may be our darkest chapter yet. The crooked house is crooked once more

as the shade of William Van Brunt, the new crooked man leers down at you in the ruined foyer from the second floor balcony. He looks out at all of you individually, taking you in the crooked smile ever creeping up his crooked face before he finally opens his crooked mouth bearing his crooked teeth

before staring directly at you, your grim, but saying to all of you, I don't remember inviting you to my home, but now that you're here, don't worry. You'll be treated as honored guests, especially on such a monumental night. Let us all bear witness to our crooked queen, finally being free of this terrible prison. The crooked smile is huge. He does not sound the way that he had sounded to you before. his pomp and circumstance still there, but more in reverie to this crooked queen that he speaks of. He opens his arms before all of you welcoming you to his home.

The home that you walked into that Adela had made for you, had cleaned for you, had designed for you, now not yours anymore is it's claimed by this man, still staring at you, Well, I'm pretty sure that we saw you die, and technically this is our house now, so we actually do have a deed and a key, so I mean, I never be wanted to evict anyone, but you should probably get out. You hear a crooked chuckle bubble up within, within his throat, as he lets out a loud guffaw. He seems completely unmoved by what you're saying. How is it that not even death could rid us of you, Van Bronte? Oh, that was badass. His eyes had darted to Jericho for a minute, and his gaze switches and moves towards you,

lingering on you a little bit, but his smile never fades. You had the chance to kill me yourself. You didn't take it. You let her have me. What happens here, your grim is all on your conscience. And as a smile widens, the house around you begins to shake. Suddenly, the creaking of swollen wood fills the air

and your lungs fill with dust as Van Brunt lets out a mocking laugh and the entire house begins to shift with a cacophonous groan. Walls rise and fall all around you like falling cards on a poker table. Stairs surge up and down like the writhing of a serpent and the entirety of the structure rearranges before your very eyes. And through the chaos, you realize that you've all been separated from your friends.

You are alone in the crooked house. I need one of you to roll a D6 for me, please. Oh my God. No, it's more you. Ah! Oh, Garsh! Garsh! You got a one. Up with Adela with us as well?

Yes, Adela was with you. She was standing behind Yorghum, just kind of shrinking back. Both Adela and Farron are there with you. Is Philip here? Philip was outside. He was trapped outside of the house. As the house changes, you can still hear,

pounding on the door as Philip is voraciously trying to get into the house to get to his wife. But as the house changes and moves, the sound of him banging on the door is completely disappears as you all find yourself alone somewhere in this house. Would you like us to re-roll? Oh, is it just one? I just need one person because this is going to determine the order. Gosh. Jericho.

You stand on the lacquered wooden floor of the music room as mournful tones twang around you in a melancholic waltz. As you look at the harpsichord in the corner of the room, there's a figure playing a tune. It is no more than a shadow in the form of a man as the keys of the instrument are hammered in increasing tempo. It's impossible to make out a face. But then its head turns towards you

and throughout its entire body, numerous orange eyes open and stare at you. You hear a familiar voice say as a single word, Dance. The word dance echoes out throughout this room. As you try to process the order you have been given, the huge wall-length mirror catches your eye and you watch as your reflection begins to change. A scarecrow, a bird, a halfling with a cutthroat,

A stern man in military regalia, a demon, a scarecrow. They all extend their arms to the dance floor, waiting. Well, is that you, Virgil? You're looking mighty, elongated and human-like, kind of like me. I mean, I'm not too much of a dancer. I'm more of a warbler, a troubadour, a tune smith. I got two left feet, my best gal's always said. on account of them only having two feet when they built me,

two that were both left. Anyway, why don't we talk this out? Why don't we talk this out? I'm going to try to approach the, I'm going to try to walk towards the harpsichord. You walk towards the harpsichord. The figure that is there, all of the eyes blink at you in random cadence.

Sometimes it almost feels as if they're blinking along with different beats of the music. And as you continue to walk forward, you begin to realize that though you're propelling yourself forward, the harpsichord never comes closer. You continue to walk and walk and walk, and you start to feel like you're looking down an incredibly long hallway. And the harpsichord is still there the same distance in front of you,

but you can never gain any distance on it. Gosh, this must be one of them spooky haunted house effects. Oh, gosh. Are there any doors around? that you can see. Gosh. Well, I'll give it a try, I guess.

I'll try to, like, maybe get over into the center of the dance floor. Well, I don't know if it's better or worse that nobody's watching me. I don't know what type of performance anxiety I feel right now. Well, I suppose I could

give it a shot. Little one or two. Little one, a little two. And I'll try to, like, do a little stylish jig, or like a little shuffle. As you finally follow the command of the harpsichord player in dance, you find that you're no longer dancing alone

as one dance partner after another fills your arms. Three in a row, mangled green hag corpses holds you tight as you dance. The Oakham sisters stare up at you lovingly. They all fade away as the shape that replaces them as the man and shadow covered in numerous watching eyes. Before a discordant note fills the room, and with a cacophonist snapping, the harpsichord shifts into a door as the music stops and the phantom dancers disappear.

You there, Virgil? Your voice echoes throughout this room. You wait for the sound of flapping wings or blinking eyes or discordant music, but no sound comes. It's just you alone in this room. The harpsichord, where it had been, now stands an open door. Gosh, you know, I had forgotten what a number. You did on the old Okum sisters, my best gal. That was gruesome.

Well, at least you got well fed. I suppose that's always important. Well, I'm going to, I think the doors, you know what they say is open every door, or else you miss your opportunity. I'll open it up and I'll walk through. Someone roll a D6 for me, please. I think we should popcorn it. Okay.

Mikey rule a D6. Oh. I love that. Popcorn. Four. That's funny. Lethaca. You stand in the darkened children's room,

the small window offering no moonlight as dark tree branches scrape along the cracked window pane. You sense motion behind, and you notice that all the toys that had once littered this room are huddled in the corner, as far away as possible from Sally Lockwood's bed. Teddy Bear and Toy Soldier alike seem to be alive, and all look to be filled with dread

as they peer at the darkness beneath the small bed frame. Your eyes adjust to the dim light, and you finally see the source of their fear. Slowly, a gaunt gray arm with too many elbows and long yellowed nails stretches out from under the bed and with a single finger beckons the toys forward. Piercing the quiet and strange, piercing the quiet, a strange voice hisses.

Sacrifice. All the terrified toys shiver and dread as they try to push further away against the wall. I will turn my back on the toys in the hand for a moment and look again out the window to see if it is completely dark out or if I get any sense of the weather or if it's completely blank. Do I feel like I've been transported or just transformed specifically to the room that I remember when we first explored and investigated this house? you make your way towards the window and as you do the hand itself creeps even closer to the toys against the wall

not even paying too much attention to you as you reach that side of the room you peer out and you see the you see the night unfold in Dreskenwald you see the moon hanging in the sky it's milk light bathing the land all around the crooked house

you don't seem to have been transported anywhere just to a different room. Is bag still at my side? Bag is not at your side. Am I missing any of my other things? You're not. Sacrifice. Are you asking me to choose hand?

Are you asking me to pick one of these dolls so that you might consume it? You hear a soft gutter old chuckle. Yes. You watch as all the toys begin to shake and shiver, their faces looking horrified. The teddy grabs one of the dollies and holds it up in front of it before the dolly breaks free from its grasp and hides behind a toy soldier, all of them moving and fumbling about in an

attempt to hide themselves from your gaze. Do I feel as though the dolls represent my friends or children in the room, I don't have any love or care in my heart unless I want that for myself. Unless I would say, you don't see any visages of people that you know or anyone that you've seen. They don't remind me of it of. It's not like a doll in the form of saling. No. I'm not picking Jericho or something along those ones.

No, they're just toys alive in this room that seem to have sentience. I have sacrificed much on my journey to my prize. Do not wish to give you what you ask. for you to force me to choose. But if it is what is required, I would die if it was required to me to get to my

ultimate treasure. I'm going to reach down and whichever I can grab the... Pick a toy. Snatch the first. Pick it and describe it. Which toy are you grabbed? I'm going to grab the little rag doll with the small dress and the

braided hair, and I'm going to look at it and sort of turn it upside down. The ragdoll squirms, the ragdoll squirms in your hand. You hear a, though it doesn't seem to be able to create words, it can create noises, and you hear a shriek of fear as you pull it from behind the teddy bear it was hiding behind. Its body flops this way and that as it tries to squirm out of your hands. Its face turns towards you, and you can see, though it can create no tears, the look of horror and sadness on its face, its button eyes slump

against the fabric of its face as you hold onto it. I am very sorry, little one. I'm going to hunker down, and I'm going to start to reach out with the rag doll to the hand. And just before it starts to reach up, to grab it, I'm gonna pull it back. And this is just the one sacrifice, correct? You hear it hiss.

Yes. Very well. And I will set the rag doll into the hand of the arm and stand. Your sacrifice is snatched up by the grasping arm that shoots out from beneath the bed, pulling it into the darkness with a sickening, crunching, as the sound of terror and misery erupts around you from the toys looking down on you. The bed shrinks away and from the darkness emerges. is that all familiar, disgusting leather bag

as it grows taller and taller, and the darkness within turns to wood. Its form shifting and melding with the bed, now forming a door on the wall where both the bag and bed had once been. Do I see the creature inside the bag, or is it simply just the bag? It is an amalgamation of the bag,

the creature, and the bed all formed to create a doorway. Hello, bag. Are you leaving me now? It is completely motionless against the wall. I hope that you find the peace somehow, some way. I'll reach forward and turn the doorknob and walk through it. Roll a D6 for me, please. That's me again.

Roll. Two. I'll never forgive you for this, Terran. I sign your paycheck. I'll forget. Damn. Are you mad at him for the second? I'm getting flashbacks that Batman returns

when Catwoman pushes all over stuff. Oh, God. Yeah, geez. You're grim. You stand in the desiccated conservatory of the crooked house as a storm rages on the outside of the glass walls and ceiling that enclose around you like a mausoleum.

Before you is a large patch of dark soil, at the center of which stands a bergamot tree, Far larger than you ever remembered it being. Its overly ripe and fruit grows and grows, occasionally swelling too large and falling from the branches and splatting onto the soil, each one exploding into human teeth. At the base of the tree is a large mound of raised soil.

I grab my shovel and I move towards the raised soil at the foot of the Bergamont tree. And I start to dig it up. You dig and dig and dig. The soil is soft. It recently interred, but it does take you a while. Eventually, you hear the expected thud of your shovel hitting something buried within the dirt.

As you pull out the dark object buried deep within the hole, it suddenly dawns on you that it is a decapitated head. The soft flesh is cold. Your fingers sink in a little too deeply. You turn it around in your hands, hands and stare into your own lifeless eyes as you hold your own head in your hands. Immediately, blood pours from the severed neck, drenching the soil in thick crimson. The roots of the burgomot tree drink up the blood hungrily as the trunk of the tree creaks and

splits in two, revealing a door within. But I hate this tree. I move forward to the door and I swing wide. as you step through, a sound catches your attention, a soft shuffling. You turn and look for a second, and you see that it's not the shuffling of anything moving, but your decapitated head rolling against the soil

as it softly thuds against the wall. You steal yourself against the image that you see as you turn and walk through the doorway. Roll a D6 for me, please. More than your head hitting. the wall. Three. Oh.

Marius. You stand in the cramped butler's room and immediately your vision is blinded by silver light and you feel your skin scorching. Oh, fuck. At the far end of the room against the wall, a huge statue of Fultus stands in his

rigid and grim vigil, radiating with searing silver light as the whole world almost turns to shades of black, white, and gray in the harsh radiance. At the statue's feet, you see the bent kneeling form of a tall man, raising his arms towards the statue. Please, Valtus, grant this house your blessing. Grant us your protection. I walk the one true path for you, my God. Grant me sanctuary, please! Moving closer, you get a look at the face of this man

whom you now recognize as Patrini. You see that his skin is bubbling and popping from the scorching radiance as the rest of his skin is turning to char as he wails in pain. He pleas for sanctuary and salvation, but they go unanswered. Feeling my flesh begin to sizzle onto the silver light, the first thing that I would try to do is take off my cape, my cloak that is attached to my shoulders and see if I can cover up my skin with it to see if that helps at all. But the moment that I notice Petrini is essentially burning alive. I would forego protection of myself and attempt to drape this rose emblemed drapery

over him to protect him. No, no, it's all right, it's all right. You first attempt to shield yourself and you can feel that this searing pain is coming directly from the statue of Fultus and that no amount of cover is protecting yourself. as you attempt to cover Patrini with it. He seems to not notice you at all.

He is staring at the radiance of the statue, begging for salvation, begging for safety, begging for an answered prayer. And as you place the cloak over him, it alights in silver flame and disperses into ash. Patrini, no, is he This is me, Marys. You helped us early.

You helped us cleanse this place. We must, we need your help again. I do not know what's happening here, but whoever, whatever demon is residing in this house is back, we need your help. What can I do? You are so close to him. You can smell the burnt flesh, the burnt hair,

as the radiance of this statue in front of him. He does not turn away from it. He is, he is devout. He is desperate for, for his God to answer him that he refuses to turn away, though the statue itself sears his skin. You watch as pieces of flesh begin to peel away and pop and fall to the fall to the ground.

You see bits of exposed bone. You see bubbles begin to appear on the surface of his eyeball, but he stares and does not turn away as the statue. The God he's asking for salvation from does not respond. Hmm. I would look up at the statue to the best of my ability, even if it's, if it's harming me in a horrific way. And I would look and I would sneer at the statue and say, you gods are all the same. You don't actually look after the people who worship you. You abandon them and you leave them here to rot.

See if I get any kind of reaction from the statue. You, the statue's light dims. a tiny bit. And you are able to see that the statue itself is not fully made of silver. It is gilded, but that there are parts of it that are very clearly wooden. Aside from that, it doesn't move,

it doesn't make any motion towards you. Do I feel like I'd be able to destroy the statue? Strike it down. You imagine with a very strong hit, you would easily be able to destroy this. With the frustration that I'd be able to destroy. is the frustration that I'm feeling, watching this poor man be roasted alive by this holy statue

and this light, and the feeling that I'm getting as well, I would immediately lose my patience and draw my sword with both hands and raise it up and say, you're all the same! And draw, bring my sword down as hard as I can to see if I can destroy the statue to prevent this light from horror.

You are easily able to do this. You are tested in battle, and the statue is no foe to you as you raise your sword with two hands and you cleave the statue in two, immediately quelling the pain that was searing your body. As you destroy the statue of Fultus, the blinding light and searing pain,

leave the room as the silver idol crumbles into a pile of ruin. Petrini looks at you with deep gratitude, raising his arms towards you in prayer. My God, my salvation! In the same prayer that he had been chanting to Fultus, he now begins to chant to you over and over and over again. And then, in a final breath, he turns to ash and scatters to the floor. All the while, the pieces of statue rumble in shape as they slowly form a door on the wall where the statue of Fultus once stood.

I would, as the ashes like fall through my hands, I would stand up and kind of feel them between my feet. and like clench my fist and say, I'm no god. The gods are not here. I'll spit where the statue was on the rubble as I open the door and proceed through. Roll a D6 for me. We need five and six. Five and six. Six.

Farron. Re-roll. You guys don't get to see what happens. It's just five. We can just. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's just five.

Like, so you don't need. Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. This is. I have to find Briggsie. Briggsie, you find yourself in the master bathroom. The entire room is shrouded in steam. As the warmth and mists surround you,

you hear the sound of the sea. Waves crash against a nearby shore before you realize that it is coming from the enormous clawfoot bathtub beside you. The tub stretches out as far as you can see through the steam, But the salt hits you and the water in the tub crashes like the waves. You see a toy boat floating atop the bath ocean. No, it's a ship.

A grand galleon flying the colors of Captain Cratch. The flagship of your dreams is perfectly crafted and gilded in the greatness that only you deserve. It is a thing of beauty and a tear comes to your eye until you notice something right beside you. Built from bone and humming with powerful jinxcraft magic, you see a cannon. A flaming skull is loaded within and ready to fire. Along with the hexing ruins on the canon, you see the words, the name of this canon, truth in the lies, in quotation marks. The canon is aimed directly at the galleon.

First time, I'm like, I'm very startled. We just saw a horrible dead man, and then I got zheaped here. Hello? Derico, Mary is Yogi. Anybody? Your voice echoes off the tiles in the bathroom. Not even the steam in this room can dampen the emptiness

as your voice echoes back at you. All right. It's okay, Bricksey. You got this. Of course, I would get to bathroom. Up to the time. Do I feel, is it like, it's like a little kind of toy,

Toy boat, like a toy ship on the... Looking at it, the way that the steam masks this room, you're looking at the front of a clawfoot tub, but it looks like it stretches on into an actual ocean in front of you. You cannot see where the bathtub would end. And deep within it, far out, you imagine that being in a bathtub, it should be small,

but with perspective, it looks like it could be a full-blown ship. This cannon that is next to you, this cannon made of bone, is your size. It's in the room next to you. And it's aiming towards the ship as if it were aiming towards a full-sized galleon. What are you trying to imply, Mr. Cannon? And I should use you to destroy the flagship of me dreams. It's very presumptuous of you or house or Billy, whoever the fuck you are. It's beautiful.

Do I get the sense of, I'm gonna approach the canon. And I wanna look at the, what was the name in truth of the lies? In hexing runes, you see the name of the canon, Truth in the lies. Truth in the lies. Of course I get the puzzle. Maybe this is just flavor text, so I can just use you. I want to examine if I know how to like fire this thing.

You know how to fire this thing. How cool is the ship on a scale of like one of the time? It is your dream ship. Something gonna laugh. If you, if you could imagine your dream ship, this is two times better than that. Things on that ship you didn't even know you wore it. Mm-hmm.

It's got four masts, a gilded gunw. A hot tub. A hot tub. A time machine. That's right. A jet ski stand Oh tricks isn't it

The truth is in the lie This is all a lie This is all a lie Maybe one day But not today All right house All right And I want to

Light the fuse on the cannon You light You do this The bone cannon WURs to life The ruins along it glow With bright neon green and pink As a screaming skull

is launched out of it, sailing above the thrashing seas in the bathtub and smashing into the grandiose gangplank galleon and sinking her in a single shot. As the ship is swallowed by the roiling seas, a whirlpool sucks the wreckage down, down, down, until all the water pours out of a widening drain at the base of the tub. The tub rises up on its claw feet and begins to skitter about the room, eventually climbing up and along the far wall nestling itself into the wood. You Watch as the drain that had consumed your prized ship now begins to grow and meld with the wall and tub until before you is a door. All right, Brise, you know, just drinks. It's all real.

One day. See McGrondsen. Keep going to keep going. Kill up. I feel very... Foss the excellence. Foss the excellence. I'm very excited to send you males later.

Brings you for president. That's all I, that's all I, so. I open the door. Hey, Marius. You open the door. Marius. Lethaca. You both enter a new room,

and you find yourselves face to face staring into each other's eyes. The room around you almost seems to disappear for a moment before the house shifts and creeks around you and you were pulled back to reality. You stand within the master bedroom, the four postings. canopy bed rests against the wall,

its curtains closed, and on opposite ends of the room, the specters of Eustace and Petunia Lockwood ignore each other at the writing desk and vanity, respectively. The chill in the room absolutely palpable. As soon as I lay on, I think I take three steps forward,

but I maintain at least six feet distance and I stop. Oh, you were like within two feet of each other. You are immediately, you are basically face to face. Is there any way for me to back up once I realize her presence? You can back up about two or three feet. I can't follow up for all of two, you know.

Yeah, it's a bad answer. I don't do that. No, I assume the moment that I noticed that Lethig was there, I would almost be startled, but I would take a few steps back. And Lathica, Marius. Are you all right? Yes. Were you just trapped alone in the room? Yes.

I found myself in the children's room. It was a statue of Fultes. Fultus, the skin was burning. I saw Petrini, the man who helped us before, was turned to ash. And as you grab your skin, you get a hold of part of your cloak, and you realize that the cloak that had burned away

into ash is still affixed firmly to your back. I tried to shield him with this, but burned to ash immediately. He sees powerful magic is warping our protection. perceptions, perhaps, or showing us illusions that are somehow also very real. I was in the room, and the hand, the hand that took the children, asked me to sacrifice one of the dolls to it. It was only after I did that I was able to reach you here. I immediately looked at her waist to see if the bag is still hanging from her.

It is. Magics. Hang over this place at the back. Whatever we did, wasn't permanent. It is either restored. itself somehow, or it has been infused with even darker magic? I can look around the room to take in the things that you said. The portraits are separate portraits? They're not portraits, they're spectres. They're specters.

So you're the very middle of the room, you see a large four poster bed. It's curtains are closed. And on either side of the room, you see a vanity and a writing desk. And you see that Eustace is at the writing desk. the writing desk, Petunia's at the vanity. They're both specters and they're both busy doing Eustace's writing.

Petunia seems to be doing her nightly face routine and neither one of them is making any motion to the other. Occasionally you see the one specter look towards the other and then move its head back as if thinking about saying something but choosing

not to, choosing silence. No door in this room? And you see no door. The bedroom. Well, you, that's not completely true. You see the door that goes out to the balcony. So there's a door that goes outside. Okay.

I ain't going out there. Medius, the last time we were here, we were nearly drowned in sweat. We must be very careful. Of course, I had to trust nothing that this house shows us. That being said, the room that I was trapped in,

there was no door until I destroyed the statue. No prompt, no voice, asking us to do some evil act. I hesitate to go through those doors. I don't think it's wise. I will attempt to speak with Petunia. All right, should I go speak to Eustace? Just watch my back. All right, I will.

I'll walk forward and approach Petunia. Excuse me, can you hear me? Can you hear me? and I will try to put my hand on the shoulder of the specter. You attempt to put your hand on her shoulder, and immediately you're met with frigid air as your hand slices straight through her. Almost like a whist of smoke.

She shifts for a minute before materializing back as herself, but she doesn't move. She makes no movement towards you at first. And then simultaneously, both specters stand up from their seats and make their way to the balcony, never once looking at each other as the room grows even colder. One by one, they step onto the railing, fasten noose around their neck and jump,

both plummeting to their deaths once more in frigid isolation. Once both shades are gone from your view, the curtains on the bed spring open, and you see the feather mattress, deeply indented where a husband and wife might lay side by side, hands clasped in affection. As I watch the specters move towards the balcony, I will, like, attempt to stop them. Wait, wait, we must speak with you.

Damn it. Now what? A repetition, almost like a ritual. I was taken by that same urge to jump when we were here last. If you recall, I nearly made it. Surely would not be urged to follow in their footsteps. I would not like to. Make that jump, but if we find the way of escape, it may be our last option. I'm going to look and see if I can find anything written.

You said one of the specters was writing something, and I'm going to see if I can read the book. If there is perhaps a text there that might be a clue or something along those ones. Yeah, you make your way over to the writing desk, and you see if there's no paper there, no pen, no quill, no ink. But in doing so, you once again pass. the bed. The bed that had upon entering this room been completely enclosed in the curtains. The curtains that opened when Eustace and Petunia plummeted to their death. It looks moth-eaten and old, but it is, there's a softness to it. But the thing that catches your eye as it did when they made their jump was that, though the two of them walked out of this room in complete silence, they jumped,

They jumped to their death in silence, in a frigid isolation that only years of living with someone where hatred was allowed to build could end. Looking at this bed, you can see that there was, at once, a time when they loved each other. The indents in this bed so deep that there were years and years where a husband and wife laid side by side hands clasped in affection. By the time you are done examining the desk and you turn around, I will be sitting on the edge of the bed.

Did you find anything? Nothing, not even the tools of writing that would be necessary. It was all part of the spectral illusion. I wonder if our portal out of here is by closing these curtains with us contained within. The thunder is a god of... romance, beauty, the arts. I wonder if there was a time when that couple, they felt love for each other. If you examine closely the imprints on the bed, you can see that whatever happened in their waking life,

in their dreams, they held each other's hands. Is it possible the way out of here, as fast to just... demonstrate a canon, love for each other. I prefer that option to jumping off the balcony, Mary, if I think we should try it. And I will get up from where I'm sitting on the edge of the bed and I guess try to examine the space that looks like where Eustace may have lit. And kind of awkwardly, I'm still wearing armor, it's not. Yeah.

You know, I would take me a long time to get ready for bed. Normally, kind of just like awkwardly, like, scooch into the bed where his spot is. and see if I can kind of comfortably, like, lay where he would have laid. It's uncomfortable at first, but it's almost as if the bed was waiting for this, and the imprint of Eustace's body conforms to yours, accounting for your armor, accounting for your shape. Oh, the bed is moving. And eventually, you feel yourself very comfortably laying exactly where you imagine Eucis had laid for many years.

Next was loving wife. Falkus. I'll sit on the other side of the bed with my back to Marius and sort of kip up my legs, sliding my ass into the same ass groove as the wife, immediately slipping into position and just sort of lying back as quickly and as gracefully as I can.

As gracefully as someone can when saying ass groove. Careful, this is about to be a solar eclipse. And you do. and very similar to what had happened with Marius. You feel the bed shift and form around you. And you find yourself laying in this position. Your arms, do you hold hands? As she's like laying into bed,

I'm going to almost like try to move away a little bit. And again, issue a warning. Be careful, please, not too close. You attempt to, but the bed almost moves you back. towards her direction. I want to look at the curtains briefly. Are they cinching clothes themselves? Do I feel like they need to be closed

in order for the magic to happen if we are on the right track in the first place? I would say you feel that you're on the right track, but it doesn't seem to be the curtains that need to close, but your hands around each other's. I will reach over. Well, my hand is here, Marius. I look down to her hand and she holds it out,

and it's at this point that I can actually feel how cold my own hands are, that it's something that I'm usually used to, but it's extra present now in the forefront of my mind. Without saying anything, I'll... As both of you lay there in this single quiet moment, warmth suddenly returns to the room, and the creaking of the headboard behind you draws your attention, is a new door forms at the head of the bed.

Your fingers intertwined, that coldness that you'd felt is completely replaced with the warmth of Lethika's skin. Your hands don't feel so cold anymore. The moment I see the door, though, I pulled back. We did it. Yes, it seemed to have worked. I get up. Well done.

Let us proceed. I imagine we may run into the others. I am sure they are finding their own challenges in this cursed place. Sit up and make sure that my hair is still in good condition after having laid down on it. And I will progress through the portal. I'll fall behind. Briggsian Jericho. Griggs and Jericho, you both enter the next room and are facing each other at opposite ends of the grand dining room.

Beautiful paintings of enchanting scenes look down at you as you see a bountful spread of every kind of delicacy you could imagine. And not just that. Piles of gold, jewels, and other treasures are mixed among the food that smells so overwhelming. You notice the presence of two enormous. figures, however, seated opposite each other at each end of the table. On one end, an ancient crocodile god ravenously devours everything before it, scraping the food and treasures into its enormous maw greedily and always grasping for more. At the other end, an elch-deemon king, avian in its form, covered in black feathers, keeps up with the ravenous feasting of its dining companion, letting out guttural cause as it takes handfuls of meat and snaps

its beak around it. They both pay no attention to you. Oh, Carrie! Captain! Captain Cratch! Inattention! No! Have we seen anybody else? No, I haven't seen, have you seen Marius? No, I haven't seen Marius. Have you seen Marius? No, I haven't seen Marthaca. Have you seen Lefiger? No, I haven't seen Leithgow. Have you seen Leithgow? No. I haven't seen Yorke.

Oh, Yorke. Oh, Yorgre. No, I've seen Yorgie. I'll just make him as Yorri. Oh my gosh. No, I haven't seen your own room. Have you seen yogurt? No, I haven't seen yogurt.

Have you seen Barrett? No. Ferret, Adler, dear, she's usually pretty quiet. Oh. No. Oh, yeah. I'm not. Neither am I.

Gosh, hi. Do you have to do a stylish jig, too? To get, I had to get in here? That's all you had to do is a stylish jig? Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of deep metaphor, and kind of it was more torturous and internal sort of way. self-seeking and not really knowing who I am or who leads the dance, so to speak, or upon which strings I dance,

but it wasn't kind of like physically, it was more metaphorical. I had to blow up a ship. The ship of me dreams. It's hard enough to dance, but I had to use a cannon to shoot a really badass skull into a beautiful ship. Gosh, have you ever heard of the Brand C-Dew?

No, I don't know what that is... I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. What are you C doing here? What am I see doing here? I blew up the ship so we can get through the door. Right aside to do a little jig. It's kind of like,

then I have a good time to know. Come on, I'm going to have a good time to know. I'm not gonna... I haven't looked to the right. Oh yeah, I don't... This is kind of creepy. Hold on. Can you please kill them?

No. I'll stay in this. There's a reason things are placed out. are placed after what they're placed up. You said a little... Well, oh, gosh. Garsh, well, there seems like there was nothing at all metaphorical about your room,

but the metaphors are fallen, they've fallen, follow me. I think... Suddenly, the stench of death and decay fills the room, as the bountiful feast turns to rotting human flesh, and all of the treasures turn to filth. The crocodile god and avian demon king eat so much that they swell large, and larger until they burst, covering the room in gore, bone, and feather.

Once the explosion subsides, the beautiful feast returns, and where each creature had been sitting, there is an indentation in the soft velvet cushion, as if missing, it's diner. We've never fucking puzzled. Gosh, they were eating horrible, horrible stuff, I think. One was kind of like me and one was kind of like you. You think, I mean, I solved the ass puzzle. You think because there are two of us here we have to want to kiss.

I'm just kidding. I'm getting us a lot. You know about Jericho. I don't imagine your giant fucking crock mouth during this, like flesh is hanging off. If you say that. You don't imagine. I don't want to have to be a burlap sack mouth.

Like, gosh, I mean, I think that might have be the puzzle if there was a giant plate of spaghetti piled up. There is in the very center of the table. Oh, gosh. It might be. You might be right, really? There's only one meatball atop. It's a very small meatball.

Oh, no. Going out of fucking meatball? That's, oh. But wait, what if we, wait, we're not supposed to eat that stuff. Do you see what happened to those horrible monster men? Oh, they exploded. They exploded after eating. All their food turned to gross biz.

I think I was way off with the whole kitchen. I ain't to say it. Tarsh, in my room, in my room, there was just a, playing the harpsichord of Jonti Tune, and he just told me what to do, and I didn't really have to think too much. Well, there was someone else in your room? Yeah, there was virgin, but he looked all different like.

But there was no one in my room. It was alone. It was truly alone. Oh, gosh. Yeah, it was... It was... This is not. You're not alone anymore, but...

I mean, we also were... Your lips glimmer as you lean for. You get the pink who are... Who were in silence? Good Lord. No, you're right. You're right. We were joined by effigies of ancient long dead gods.

That was an ice team. Sort of like a party for a second. Yeah, I mean, I thought a nice meal would be nice on it. You know, I was really fixing. I mean, on account, I don't really need to eat. Do you really need to eat? No, I don't really need to eat. I wish I did.

I miss it. I miss a routine of it. A flavor, you know, sometimes cooking me yourself some breakfast. Gosh, you know, with some beans with tomato sauce all over it, you know what I mean? What's that supposed to me? Are you promising at me breakfast? Then I can't eat anymore because it is scarce? Well, I mean, don't take it a personal like.

I mean, a lot of my cravings be dictated on account of what Virgil has a hankering for. Usually it's weird, gross hags or other powerful creatures or others or things. Perhaps the Virgin, that bird being thing, the Demon King, I suppose, you might call them. Perhaps as, I mean, doesn't look quite like Verde. It looks as I can see similarities,

perhaps in the same family, perhaps a distant cousin. Uncle twice removed. We should probably eat that delicious looking food, shouldn't we? But didn't all turn to gross beers when they ate it? Do we have to eat gross beads? No, didn't it turn back to nice? You're looking at it now looks like yummy, yummy food. You don't necessarily feel any need to eat it.

My object permanence is very poor. You don't necessarily feel any need to eat it, but you do see that there are ass dents in the chairs that the long-dead gods had been sitting in that basically sparkle and shimmer, like, ooh, this is the quest objective. This episode is called ass-dense. Would you care to join me for D. Well, it's kind of very, I feel like the house messed up. I mean, you and I are the only ones who don't need to eat.

That seems a little silly that this will all be about eating. Yeah, what the fuck? What doesn't mean? Oh. Wait, and they did it anyway, and they... You said it was metaphor, didn't you? I think. Oh.

Well, perhaps we won't explode. We ain't weird, as mighty as them folks. Anyways, I suppose... You know, maybe this is like cool ghost magical food that I can be able to taste really well, and it's like awesome. You think I might be able to taste and maybe there's a bottle of sasparilla

I could inquire about? I really hope that grows weasel doesn't show up. I know he died, but this is a lot of ghosts and sage. I don't know which going on. I sit down with my head, like down. I'll walk. I'll take my hat off. Okay,

I'm gonna, I'll go to my side of the table. You won't. All the way at the way. Or me like in the very heads and like a long dinner table. I'll take my bandana off and I'll put it in my jacket as a bit. Okay. Are you good?

I'm good. All right. Hey, nice dining with you, Mr. Briggsie Captain Briggsacch. Cheese, Jerry. Cheers, a nice cup of sars, a cup of sarsparula, probably, whatever this is. I'll pick up a turkey life. As you sit, both of you feel a measurable hunger and greed.

Although this sensation is strong, it is not unfamiliar as the inherent desire that lurks within both of you takes control. You begin to devour the feast. You begin to devour the feast just as your godlike predecessors had. You consume and consume and consume until absolutely nothing is left and your senses return to you. What's more horrifying is that both of you are still hungry. Suddenly, the huge dining table, the huge dining room table flies into the air and crashes against the wall vertically,

shrinking down with a creaking of wood until it forms a small door between two paintings. I could use seconds Yeah, me too, that's a little That wasn't that wasn't that big of a feast I mean No, I mean, they're going to serve two people You think they would have given more food Oh no, I mean for those prices

You'd think you'd get at least 32 chickens That's exactly right Instead of 31 That's exactly right Well Shucks, maybe there's more food In the next room Less, less metaphor, more food That's our new motto

All right, let's look for food, come on Okay There's got to be dessert food Be it? Your grim. You step into the gallery. Hoping to see any of your friends, but you see no one beyond the dour and grim busts of the statues that had sat in their disrepair for decades. One statue looms far larger than the others in the alcove of the room.

You had remembered it being grotesque, but this is far more grotesque than you recall. Carved in horrible detail, a terrible hybrid beast with three dives. jaws filled with rotting crooked teeth, lunges forward towards a terrified young hunter, fighting desperately for his life. A battle he is sure to lose, and with his death, another meal for the crooked abomination. With each passing moment, it feels as if the other statues drift away and the terrified hunter calls to you in his eternal sculpted death throws. You remember this to be the statue that was carved by Durey. The statue that Briggs he destroyed?

Yes. Yes. He was an accident. Make any sense this shouldn't be here. Move forward towards the statue and start to inspect it. You look at, it's far more crooked than you remembered it being there. The grotesqueness of it, it almost seems as if the wood is slightly moist and you reach up to touch it. and nothing comes off on your fingers,

but it looks almost bloody in some places. Is this you? You hear laughter in the walls. Give me back to my friends. Damn you. Suddenly, you hear the crack of the hunter statue's neck as it snaps to the side. And with the rumbling of marble and breaking of stone,

the young hunter comes to life and steps out from the maw of the leaping monster. His body is bent and twisted, as color fills out the dusty alabaster, and soon you see William Van Brunt, no, the crooked man, standing before you with a twisted grin, huge, rotted, and crooked.

It's not so bad to water the crooked tree, green thing. It has a particular thirst for our life's blood, you see, and while in the moment of my end, I was filled with fear, now I know it was my destiny, as it is yours. We were fated to meet his enemies so that we may become allies in serving our glorious purpose, for the crooked queen.

I gave you every opportunity to do right, Van Brunt. And I gave you every opportunity to kill me. It is our fate, Yorgim, to serve the queen. I only serve one master, and it will never be yours. Ignorant, always ignorant. We will see you will be crooked yet. If you want death at my hand so bad, bad Van Brunt. Don't worry, because it comes for you. Ah, does it now. Your blood will feed her roots.

And as he says this, the crooked man shuffles towards you and you hear the slow scrape of stone on wood as he approaches and says one final thing. You've been wandering for so long. Isn't it time for you to put down roots? The darkened desiccated color of Van Brunt fades as his leering face returns to the terrifying scream of the young hunter, and the marble statue crumbles to pieces before you. All that's left to remind you he was ever there

is the impression the statue left in the alcove intertwined with the claws and jaws of the crooked beast. There's a spot where the statue? Yeah, there's an alcove where the statue had been. It looks like you could sit on it. It looks like you could stand in it. There's no ass and no. No, no Aston.

He's a mobble ass group in front of know. You look down at the bear rug in front of the fireplace. There's a plate of Costco pepperoni and cheddar. Speed out. This is supposed to be a serious campaign. I should need the campaign. There's only one thing to stop my grim pilgrimage now. And it won't be you.

And I move forward up onto the platform. As you step into the final work of Gaston Dure, the sculptor that met a terrible fate in the crooked house, you suddenly feel his fear as you were overwhelmed with a sense of doom. The creature before you suddenly roars to life for about a moment, and you are gripped by its stony claws and devoured in its enormous crooked jaws. Suddenly, you're in a dark void surrounded by marble, and mere five feet from you as a door in the stone. beckoning you forward.

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Thank you. All of you stumble into the parlor of the crooked house and see that almost all of your friends have made it here safely. Five of you stand in this dusty room and you realize that Farin and Adela are still nowhere to be found. The parlor seems to look mostly how you remembered it, with two major changes. Gone is the spirit board at the center of the street board

board at the center of the circular table. Instead, atop the tablecloth is a dark crystal ball, held up by gnarled and twisted branches that grasp it like a treasure. Etched into the crystal glass, you see the sweeping flourish of Adela Druskenwald's signature. And where the family portrait of the Lockwood family had once been is now a portrait of a malevolent Fay Queen, half flesh and half bark and branch. This woman's body, neck, limbs, and grin are crooked with wild eyes filled with equal parts malice and joy. And somehow, she is simultaneously beautiful and hideous. Everybody!

We found you. Has everyone all right? Yes. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, we... I mean, a lot of metaphors and fucking puzzles, but I mean, we're fine. Yeah, there really are. We're a lot of metaphors of all.

Do you have to do a jaunty tune? No, no. No, we were all confronted, I think, by our experience. is here when we first investigated the house. Have any of you seen fair? No. No, we have. I do have to make it clear.

With the crystal ball, it looks like the crystal ball was probably always here, an addition that Adela had put in the house, but the grasping vines that have come up around it are holding it captive. They are of that fay creature. That's not how it originally had looked. Why would Senator not be here?

They may still be struggling with whatever they are being challenged to. Oh! Briggs and I ran into each other. Did you pair up anybody? Started off alone. I was faced with Petrie. He was burning alive in front of a statue of Fultus. Destroyed the statue.

Nice butlerman. There was nothing I could do to save him. He turned to Asht in my hands. Then I ran into Lethaca. I started off in the children. room, I had to make a sacrifice in order to progress. And then Marius and I found each other. And after a simple act of kindness, we were able to proceed here.

I had to dance, a bunch of gross dead eggs, probably Virgil or something. It was very metaphorical. And then I ran into Briggs'em. We had to chow down. I am looking for a pattern to these experiences. I'm not sure how to put the puzzle pieces together. Your Grim, what did you experience? I was faced at first, like all of you, by myself.

I saw the burgomont tree and... Oh! And... Oh, you've been in you it. Yes, I can't escape it. Its roots run deep. But also a... A grave.

Once I dug it up, I walked through, and I wasn't alone either. But it wasn't Farron that I'd met. It was Van Brunt, or whatever he's become now. Did you hear him? No, he disappeared like the coward he is. But he beckoned to me before he did. He asked me to join him. He said that he serves a twisted gnarled queen.

And he said that it was my fate to serve her as well. Oh. Do you think the ritual we did? I mean, it sort of took care of the woods, but did it, you know, to shove everything back in here in this house? Did we push it here? Well, I mean, you'd probably logic that out, but let's not have done the conclusions. Either way, if we did manage to contain it here, that's a good thing.

It's all in one place and we can deal with it. So... Yorgram, you do remember that Van Brunt told you that this was your fault. So, wait, hold on, so you found a grave? It was Petunia's grave like we found the first time? No, it wasn't Petunia's grave. When I dug it up, I found no whole body but my own head. Oh, that's awfully spooky.

Van Brunt called out when we had all gathered together that I had the opportunity to kill him, but letting him die by this creature. I've forced him into one of her thralls. He now serves her. I don't know if that cast her back this way. Maybe it was just all in our heads. Maybe none of this is fucking real.

Either way to test. When we were all now on our cute little dates, I stole a golden saucer. Let me see if it's still here. I pull out the golden saucer that I stole from the table. The one with you and... We were eating in the diner in the diner in case. There's no saucer to pull out.

It's gone. It's gone. So maybe this... Are we even here? Do we know? The house is seemingly twisting all around us. It is both real and like a nightmare. Sure feels like a nightmare. Your bloom is makes you feel any better.

We saw like terrible gods feasting and we took their place and it was never enough. Yeah, I'm thought about how nothing is enough to fill the pit. in my soul or lack thereof. And that, no matter how hard you try, you always think it's going to be the next thing. And it never is. It never is. The hole's still there.

It's never enough. Especially not for the result. I was faced with the statue of the hunter. Wow. This time he stalked a hideous beast of three mares. I took his place, and it came alive and consumed me. like I don't know

somehow the the hunt will really spooky again what did you guys have to do oh yeah an act of commonness I think she said

we simply held hands simply I gosh I wish that was me we also saw a vision of the original members of this house

throwing themselves off of the balcony. And it was only by reenacting this love that they shared, that we were able to progress here. But I admit I am confused. A creature of ancient evil, a being of hate like Van Brunt,

who especially wants to destroy or twist you. It could kill us all at any time with powers like these. We are being shown something for a reason, perhaps an attempt to corrupt us, or to turn us against each other, or something. You think that the kind of dreams that Mr. Lockwood was having, the nightmares that turned them all crooked, you think they looked at anything like that? Because he was in a mighty, mighty sore spot when he finally did the whole leap of faith, so to speak. Oh, and that's why we're sweating so much, right?

Yeah, that's what it was. But you're... I don't want to say it, but... Do you think maybe you swallow one of the teeth? Oh! And it's, like, growing inside of you, and that's why you've been marked by this crooked queen? Like a watermelon seed.

I'm like, yeah, I'm like... Oh, well, I don't know that. I mean, I don't have a stomach, but a watermelon scene couldn't survive in Virgil. But do you think it's one of those teeth? Do you think that you've been marked, and perhaps that's why... That's why that Van Blunt is so drawn to you?

Oh, I mean, I did eat the Bergamont. There was teeth within it, but Adela examined me. I think it's far more likely that this place is playing tricks. The man antagonized you in life, and now he's doing the same in death. Yes, yes. These could be meaningful visions we saw, It could be just parlor tricks from Van Brunt to stall what he knows is coming. Crazy thing is that long. He's still in there. It's still him, you know? He's not just like some mindless puppet.

Exactly what I was going to say. Something of Van Brunt has survived his transformation after he was killed and pulled into the forest. The only comfort that gives me is knowing that when we finally strike down whatever this is, he'll feel it. Oh yeah, we're gonna make it feel it Well, I'm a little concerned. Ferrin, Adela. I probably, you know, if they got a hard puzzle, you know, if it's like, you know, maybe they got to water temper when they're trying to figure out water level of things.

They'll be there in three years. I won't be in for a couple hours. I can't believe it. Ferrin got to go off with Adela. It just seems awful. Jericho always draws the shorts, no offense. No offense, brings it.

When we were here last, we consulted a spirit board. There we put our hands on the crystal ball and look within its depths? I don't get a bad feeling about the dark crystal. You know what I mean? Well, it was a final. I mean, it's Miss Adela's Crystal Ball. What's the worst it could be? And also, is that, is that this crooked queen?

Is that what, is that what that Miss Kelly looked like? She was just a shape when we saw her. She's just a twisting, shape-shifting ooves, so to speak. I look at whatever Jericho's point. Hmm? Is your portrait of a portrait of a malicious... You want me to reread? Yeah, if you could.

Where the family portrait of the Lockwood family had once been is now a portrait of a malevolent Fay Queen, half flesh and half bark and branch. This woman's body, neck, limbs, and grin are crooked, or crooked with wild eyes filled with equal parts malice and joy. And somehow she is simultaneously beautiful and hideous. Crystal ball may be some way to contact it.

What worries me is the growth underneath it. You see where there had formerly been, probably a wooden stand that had been beautifully carved for this crystal ball. And has been completely broken and twisted and overcome by these crooked branches that have grown up around and almost they're holding the crystal ball almost like a treasure.

But you see that the tendrils of branches are kind of snaking into it almost like it's attempting to crack it or pry it apart. So what you're saying, Jerry said, maybe that's what she looked like before she was put in the amber. And at least what she looks like, he's hoping it look like. I mean, it's the thing about

he can't take no physical form. He's powerful, he's there. He has a look to him. He looks like a person. Oh, like just a guy? He's got, I mean, it's not, it's not as beautiful as that. But he's an okay-looking guy, looking fellow.

But he can't take a physical form. But if he had a form, could I tell him, could I tell Virgil from Gary on or, you know, Steve? Just like a regular old guy? Well, no, he looks a lot spookier than that. I mean, he looks like a demon fellow. Oh. But he can't, he can't do that.

At least not yet. That's why he wants to eat all them secrets. Maybe it's the same thing. Maybe she's trying to find, you know, I basically serve. I mean, he's trying to make, you know, I'm a vessel for him. I'm a physical vessel. This dark ooze that she was in the amber. Oh, and Billy's a vessel.

Or a minion. So we kill Billy. No more vessel. Right? Perhaps stands the reason. Well, so if she was pushed back here, maybe, maybe the attic. What Petunia was trying to bring her to be originally.

Should we go there? Maybe that's where she's... There are no doors in this room. Never mind. That seems to look a bad idea. If we have passage, then I agree. Both the attic and what's underneath the health. Yes, if there's still a basement, that's when we found all of this in the first place.

Yes. One of the other. Well, Lord Dreskenval, he took care of all them gross, gross teeth, and he killed that fielder jasper down there. His eyes exploded. Think there something down there again? I would only think if she's been freed. I returned to her prison.

But now, it doesn't make sense that Adela's been here, presumably. She's been fucking decorated. You clean it up. I don't want to put more blame on you, Yoram. Where did you put blame on me originally? Oh, well, I guess I was, there was an inside thought.

Or maybe that was Virgil, I don't know. But, uh, maybe it was... Maybe by getting rid of the crooked tree back at the... In the forest, did we kind of send it back here and then giving her Van Brund, maybe gives her a minion to help her do her bidden? Just like this mother knight and the verminol coven and mother midnight? Like a focus.

Yes! The ability to do all of this magic requires a vessel like Van Brunt. Is that what you are suggesting? Well, Virgil's mighty powerful. And what's between us, he's very powerful. He can't do anything with... You see? I do.

It means nothing. So it's sort of like you each other gun to each other's backs. Why don't you can't exist without the other? Well, I guess if he put it like that, we don't really prefer firearm. I'm more of a banjo-plucking sort of scare crew. He's got a nice cane. Anyways. Huh?

I mean, I don't know. I'm going to throw up, but it's not bad. I mean, come on. I'm going to take out a handkerchief and unfurl it and then sort of fold it to the size and shape of my hand so that I can walk over to the crystal ball. It's, so there's the table in the center

where you'd have the spirit board. All of the wood is, all the branches are coming up out of the top of it and holding it aloft in the center of the table. If I can reach the edge of the table and lean forward, I would like to clean the surface without letting my skin contact the surface of the glass. You can easily do that.

You see, as you do this, you can feel the thrum of magic. And for a second, you see a faint image appear as it feels the warmth of your hand. But as you press the cloth down to it further, the image dissipates. And it's just a crystal ball. The ball is capable of showing image. I had a brief glimpse in my mind even through the fabric in my hand. You think is Mr. Della trying to talk to us?

He's on the spirit board. We would have to touch it further to find out. We got time to kill us. Sit down. Briefing, fellas. Well, I think maybe Mr. Della's trying to send us some message. Maybe she needs help. I worry that you are wrong about that assumption, Jericho.

It could be the queen. Well, Adela and Ferran could be on their way that could be captured. We might need to kill William to figure out what's going on to free them. We have to take the chance. Unlike the spirit board, I think only one of us need touched the crystal ball at the time. We can all try to put our hands on it at once, but a crystal ball only needs one user. Okay, well, maybe, I mean, maybe we just follow the spirit. It's the same and maybe he'll be friendly old Petrini.

We freed his spirit. I know that you said that he was getting burned alive or whatever it was, but maybe it's all just a trick. Maybe friendly Mr. Petrini will come and he'll show us what to do or Ms. Adela will give us the directions out of here. Maybe she's outside with Lord Philip. Always the optimist. And just as with the spirit board before,

we risk curse. We risk death. Possession. Be prepared for anything. Pull away. away if you feel any danger at all. Gosh, I'm 75% possessed. I think.

I believe that Jericho might be right. When I saw Petrini, I yelled out to him. I told him we needed his help. Yet again, while I do believe that these are all tricks, deep down I hope he heard me. And I'll step forward and raise my hand. Well, I hope he heard you too. Miss Adela, Farron, we're here to save you.

Mr. Della, please tell us here outside. You are not included, the bag. Sospirilla. All together. Are you ready? Hold on. I'm not pulled my left hand off, and it'll walk up to it. Oh. And it'll touch it.

I'm thinking one little, like, half step back. Together. Together. Together. You all sit down around the crystal ball and join your wills together. and suddenly it alights. The darkness within is banished by a glowing amber light that fills the room until your vision turns to amber.

And you all experience shared visions and rapid fire secession. A beautiful fay lady reased in gorgeous green garlands observes her domain, but through the beautiful boughs, she sees a dark shape in the form of a stag. A forest withers and dies, the green turning to the darkness of decay and rye,

blight spreads like wildfire and kills everything it touches. A single ruined tree is all that remains of a once verdant forest until it fully withers and crumbles into itself before the looming shape of twisted antlers. A seed is all that remains, fading from all memory until is plucked from the realms of summer and brought to the realms of man. Three hideous purple and horned hags plant the seed and soil rife with death

and erect stones in honor of a new entity. Teeth are offered, the dripping blood feeding the tiny dark seed beneath the stone as it sprouts amidst the rotting molars in the shadow of a windmill. The windmill burns, along with the hags and no more offerings come. Yet another seed, a powerful seed,

is planted amongst the charred wreckage. A castle burns, followed by the rain. The land itself leaves, But the sprout remains in the darkness, in the death, in mist. Time passes, and suddenly the sproutling is in new yet familiar soil. And the hags that watered it are its final meal. They are part of her now. The sprout grows stronger, wilder, more powerful until the amber came, a new prison for this new land.

New hags come, even uglier than the first three. Their offerings of teeth are vastly larger. than before. Power grows in the amber prison, but siphoned away, robbed, stolen. The sapling grows into the lady once more, but forever changed by her decay, death, and rebirth amongst the teeth, yet still formless in the prison and yearning for home. Light in the amber chamber, six shapes from beyond the mist, the key to her freedom, the key to her homecoming, the key to her vengeance. The visions leave you as soon as they came. The gnarled branches and roots that held the crystal ball slither into the table,

leaving the ball to roll off the tablecloth and crash to the ground. But you realize that three doors have appeared on three of the walls. So much time. Wait. That was us. She was looking at us. She was looking at us, and she's like, yes, I like these fighting folk. They're gonna be money, money, money, fine parts of a plan. Did Farron ever describe Gorthos to us?

I don't think she described what Gorthos looked like, just what Gorthos does. Did we all have the shared memories? Gorthos appeared in that. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. We saw Gorthos. Yes. In the shared memory.

Oh, no. Ferry. Is Farrant in trouble? Feren didn't do all that, did she? I mean, just because, I mean, everything that old Virgil did, that I was connected to do doesn't mean that I, that I have the blame. We all share the blame, Jericho. It was us.

We were six, the figures, the key to unleashing this evil, ancient evil across the land. More so, we understand that we're dealing with things that are far beyond us. We are but pawns in this wicked game. my polonaises have the fucking nightmare dear that fair and worships and works for pissed in this fucking Fay Queen's morning tea. I'll look up at the painting as everyone is talking. Has the image shifted or changed at all, or is the Crooked Queen still there in the same vision that she was in before?

You are looking up at it, you see that the roots that had held the crystal ball have completely retracted, and now you see a painting in its place. It is not the painting of Eustace and Petunia Lock. but clearly a painting that Adela had had created for you, and it is all of you together like a family. Are the three doors where we remember the foyer, the kitchen, and the... Back Your Noble?

I run up and I open the foyer door and look out. Ms. Farron? You look out and you see the foyer. Oh. To the attic. Yes? Yes? Yes. We could try.

We control. Ms. Sharon. Feren. Suddenly, all of the doors open with a crash. You realize now that the crooked house is no longer moving or changing. And in response to you calling out, you hear a cry for help from the direction of the kitchen

where you know the door leads to the cellar and the darkness below. Farron's voice cries out for help. I immediately, I'm right behind Marius. We're not even hesitating. Right for the kitchen. I'm on the opposite side of the room. Oh, wait for me.

No, Ms. Farron, we're coming. You leave the parlor behind, running through the familiar rooms of the crooked house until you arrive at the darkened kitchen. No purple flame shoots from the oven, and you can see no dream pastries. The door to the wine cellar is a jar, and you hear Farron's cries for help even louder.

You rush down and find the smashed keg and the broken foundation leading deeper into the earth, the chamber where you first encountered Kellyn of the crooked teeth. Farron's cry as grow louder as you make your way to the base of the ruined windmill atop which the house was built, and in a sudden flash you see the form of William Van Brunt, the crooked man. This is where it all started, you know, right here. This soil is not of Druskenvald. Your little ritual in the forest at the Witch's Shack may have worked and banished our queen from the earth of Druskenvald,

but this soil is far older. She can never be banished from this place. But she doesn't need to. She wants to go back to where she came from. You can just turn back now and let her go. Boy, he's just going to go home? Oh, and like leave? Can we have Farron and Miss Adela and be bygones and switch?

We will not leave without our friends. Fuck you, Van Brunt. Your words mean nothing. As you say these words, Van Brunt shrugs as he shimmers and fades from view. I tried to warn you. Wait, hold on. Is Ferran okay? Ferran's cries grow louder as you descend into the darkest depths. Trying to retrace your footsteps from weeks earlier.

You manage to make your way down, but you see no amber light. You sprint forward and the scene you see is far more terrible than what you had seen when you first saw the amber monolith. A tree now stands in the chamber, with bark as black as midnight and branches gnarled and twisted, raising their arms towards the cavern ceiling as if begging, for salvation. In a dark, knotted hollow in the center of the trunk, you see an imprisoned Adela, squirming as the knotwork keeps her in a tighted vice. Below the hollow is a face in the tree,

unmoving in the form of twisted, in the form of a twisted, crooked grin of Kellan. Her darkened eyes and mouth drip a thick black sap that pours down over your friend, Farron of the heart's blight, as she hangs towards the base of the trunk. Her arms outstretched and held pinned to the tree with grasping branches. her entire torso is coated in the black sap. As it seeps into her eyes, ears, and mouth, she seems totally unconscious, yet she cries out for help. It's only now that you realize that the voice is not Farrens. It was never Farrens.

The voice comes from the hideous crooked tree that grows beneath the crooked house. It is the voice of Kellyn of the Crooked Teeth. She speaks as you enter. You refused my gift once, but now I will accept no refusal. This one here with a broken heart and decayed soul Is of akin with me I even know her dark master With whom I have unfinished business

I have grown so very tired of this deathly realm And this sight her soul is my passage home Right to the heart of corruption In the beginning of my revenge Would you dare stand between me And my righteous mission? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. The face on the tree does not move

The unconscious form of Farin hangs there all the while her mouth is moved, puppeted, as the voice that erupts from her body. It's definitely not Farrens. Everybody. All right? Hold on, Mary. All right? It's going to be fine. Righteous mission.

It's going to be fine. You must be kidding me. Look, you know, we don't have any, you know, any beef with you. You know, if you want to go home, show be it. Take the whole fucking house if you want.

If we just would like our friends back, please. I can't do that. The tree needs her body. I need her body. Oh. No one else need to get hurt here. Just turn and walk away. I think just one last person needs to get hurt here.

You let them go right now. I don't think I shall be doing that, Yorghum. I have a spot on my left with your name on it. Billy tried to tell you where your place is. Join me. I could use your strength. What have they given you? Nothing.

I could give you everything. I don't want anything from you. Except my friend's back. And if you won't release them, then I've got a spot for your name too. On my back. She does not respond to you. You just watch as fair.

Barron's body hangs there. Is she alive? Barron is alive, unconscious. And that's just, okay. Does she look wounded? I mean, you don't see any, like, gaping wounds or blood at all. You just see that it does appear that there are maybe some of these branches that are embedded in parts of her flesh.

And it looks almost as, it looks almost as if it's drinking of her essence. Is there still, like, a big pool of water between us? Are they on, like, a island? No, you're just standing on. soil, you're just on the ground, there's soil, there's a huge tree that's grown up at the edge, and you see the face of Kellyn, or you see almost like a wooden jail cell that has Adela trapped in it. She looks exhausted and she looks wounded and pained almost too tired to put up a fight anymore as she's holding onto the bar, the wooden cage that she's in. You see the

face of Kellan above that and then hanging in the bows you see Farron. Ms. Adela, are you okay? We're here to save you. Oh, gosh. Jericho, I feel it so well. And you see her eyes kind of swim as she reaches forward and grabs onto the bars. You see a little bit of blood as it drips down from her ears. You see bruises appearing on her cheeks and all along her arms. What do you need to hear her for? She didn't got nothing to do with any weird, gross-ass deer. Let Miss Adela go. You watch as the bow shakes a little bit,

as Farron's head is puppeted towards you, her eyes rolling back in her head, clearly unconscious as her mouth opens and Kellyn's voice speaks out from within. She's got her own magics, an entity that can see into the future. A sentient being, a diviner. They've got their own power that I can use.

Don't tell me what is mine and what is not in a place that comes from where I was forced out into this world. This soil is mine. This house is mine, and those within it are mine. I gave you the chance to run. I'll give it to you once more. I'll turn to Brexit. I'll say, I'll give you a chance. If you want to talk to it, fine.

But I'm with your room. I'm not leaving without the ladies. I put one hand on my sword. I think you gotta chop down this tree, fellas. Hold on, hold on. We can throw one time. Here we got, hold on.

I will have my hand on. I'll have my hand on the shot right. I don't know if you knew this. If you timber. I'll think a few steps forward. Okay. Look, I'll get it. You had a, you know,

a rough string of life circumstances. Me too. I mean, fucking look at me. Apologies for the smell if you know the horrible face and a tree can smell. Um, surely there must be some kind of compromise. I mean, can you sort of get what you need from these two lovely ladies without killing them and without horribly altering them permanently. Do what you need to do and go away and look, we won't follow you,

we won't do anything else, you can go deal with our big, disgusting, Nightmare, tree monster, dear monster. Do you think? We have our own shit to deal with here. I've offered you my terms. I'll let you turn and walk away. But you must do so now. I'll take a few steps about.

Your room. This fucking tree. What happens if we refuse your terms? Then you'll all become minions of the crooked queen. Draw my sword. I'll have my shockroom. So we're doing this. I think you will find that task more than you can achieve.

You are no match for us when we stand together. And guttural laugh bellows out over this room, shaking the very foundation of this room, and you hear it intermingle with Billy's laugh as well. And then it sounds like the laugh, Farron's laugh. intermingled with that as well. And then the voices of others. Voices you don't recognize.

A multitude of laughter billows out around you as you all draw your weapons and rush forward. And then you realize that all around you, crooked roots and branches grow from all crevices in the subterranean chamber as you hear cracking above you. Suddenly, a shape descends from the darkness above, blocking your path as a wall of gnarled branches form between you and the tree.

before you is the rotting crooked corpse of William Van Brunt, held aloft by a branch-like tether to the crooked tree. He looks at you with yellowed sunken eyes and grins with his rotting crooked teeth and points at you, Yorghum. So you've come to join me, brother. Let us water the tree of our queen together. I need everyone to roll for an issue.

That's a good guy. Oh, I need a good die for this. Oh, not bad. Not a bad start. Oh, God. Oh, thank God I have good initiative. She's barely gotten. Ah.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I look around at the base of the tree.

Do I see any ass grooves? You cannot see the base of the tree in a longer. That's right. Wait, did you see any one? Ass grooves. Oh, ass groups. Is where to just sit on the tree? I thought you said bathrooms,

and I'm like, you're not pissing on this, traitor. That's gross. Come on. Why is so greedy. I use my action to piss. Is that where you're going with all? 20 to 25. My plus one initiative, I got a dirty 20.

And you guys and beat me by one. 21. Yeah, nice job, good one. And what did you get? Nine. Nine. Oh, you can go first. I got a 17.

A nine? Okay, hold. 17. I rolled a. So you got a 20? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So 21, 2017, 9, and I'll go first. And then Jericho.

You're hitting, huh? Brise and Mary is a hot minute since I've had to using spells here. Oh, yeah, I just don't know how to play a ball. And then it's Lethika, Yorgram? Or Yorim Leverum Lephicka. Yeah. No, Yorgram, Yorgram Lefica.

Why don't I have? Perfect. The, oh, can you get the map out? for me, Rich, please. Oh, get the map. And then here, if you can put this on there. Just put it near the tree. Where do you want us?

We'll just have it in front of the tree. I got you. This front of my problem. Yeah, there we go. It should be it this way. I think that looks good. I think that looks good. You want to do it like this?

You want to rotate it? Yeah, rotate it like this. Okay. You can actually just for the sake of map space, put him in the middle of the crooked tree. Yeah. And then we're thinking like here's... And then you would all be at the entrance, yeah.

I'd be in the back with Brigh's. Here's, Farron. Mary's and I would be like... She's like trapped behind the... Yes. Okay. I love this guy. How's that? How's that?

That's good? Damn. Yeah. That looks good to Maine. Fucking minis. Warched like down. Yeah. The puppeted body of William Van Brunt, the new crooked man. hangs in the, what are you doing?

Oh, there you go. Hangs from the boughs of the crooked tree as you all rush forward to attack Briggs. You're first. No. Ah, I very stunned and not used to being first. I am going to, with my skeletal left hand, all put out a,

hand signed as there's this sort of neon green cross that appears on him, almost as if cut by two cutlasses. And I'll say, look, I gave you all a fucking chance. Voodoo God. And I'm going to fire a shot. I need you to roll a charisma saving throw. Oh, no. That is really good. 23. You stare up at Billy as you go to make your attack, and you see the crooked grin appear on his face, and for a moment, you feel almost enchanted by it, but you're able to shrug it off as you let loose

the power of the voodoo gun. Okay, so I use Hexblaze curse on this guy, and so now I will attack with Elders' blasts. and I probably hit, and that is a, God, how do I play this character? Um, 22 to hit, or no, 20. That, that hits. 24 to hit.

And then that's only gonna do one. Oh, what? D-Damage. Yikes. Oh, no. Whoa. Yikes. I'm gonna be holding up, all right.

You do that. He left out loud. Gaffa as he takes the damage. You see a small splinter burst on the side of one of the vines that is sinking deep within his skin that's puppeting his corpse. And that is your, that's your attack? Is that your turn? Marius.

I guess she'll fail on myself, right? Okay. I think it's only itself. No, it's a creature of your choice within range. That's why I wasn't sure if it was me too, but I just want to make sure. Okay, so I see the voodoo go fire off. from over my shoulder and with both hands grasping my sword, I rush forward,

and I shout out, my liege, my crown, protect me, as I cast a shield of faith on myself to raise my AC by two. And then I will move forward, and with my action, I will make two attacks. Are you in melee range of them? Oh, absolutely. I need you to make a constitution saving throw

the moment you walk into melee range. Okay. How bad is this? Should I bump at a call? I plus seven. Plus seven is pretty good. Plus seven is solid. Yeah, I'm still saying.

Why don't we use one? I'm absolutely fun. We have a good. Let's use two. Let's use two. Let's use two. Plus nine, come on. Thank you, Chad.

18 total. Nice. I feel pretty good about that. You are. 16 might not have been enough. 16 was the DC. Okay. So you would have been fine, but it was close.

That's okay. You step up towards Billy and you can feel the rot in the soil and the branches around you that you're climbing up on to get into range of him. and you feel it land on your skin and the way it sizzles and burns in this dark necrotic magic, but you're able to shake it off.

And I need you to also do a charisma saving throw. Yikes. Well, this one's plus 11, so let's hope that this one's like that. No. Yeah, 24. Okay. Similar to Briggs, you look up and you see the crooked grin on his face, and for a moment, it catches your attention

and you almost lose the ability to attack as you are lost in this crooked grin, but you shake it off and you're able to swing wide with your blade. A fucking tawny! Let's go! And the other one's a dirty to tawny. Okay.

So I'm gonna smite the natural tawny. Yeah, I mean, that would make sense. Burn them at the roots. So it would be for the first attack, it'll be 4D8 plus 2D10, which is gonna be 12 plus 5 is 17, plus 10 is 27, plus six is 33 for the first attack. 33? 33 for the first attack.

And then just, oh, 33 plus five is 38, 38. And then another seven points of damage. So a total of 45 over two attacks. That's amazing. That's significantly, you do significantly more damage than Briggs did. My sword will absolutely pour this, blood-red light as I call forth the power of these magics,

it's like strike at William Van Brubb. That's my turn. You slice into him severing vine and root and branch from his puppeted corpse. And you do watch as they reattach to him, but it does a significant amount of damage. He looks shocked for a moment, but you see that smile form on his face once again

As amidst the battle, the crooked Van Brunt looks around and he smirks bearing his crooked teeth. And then he calls out, arise, sisters. And the ground beneath your feet begins to shake and begins to undulate as the roots begin to move. And then you begin to hear out from the roots, you begin to see the forms of three haggish women. None of them you have ever seen before,

but they begin to call out different names. You hear the largest of them, if you want to put that close to Van Brunt. The largest of them, the other two call out, get him Morgontha, assist him, assist our queen's champion. And then the next you hear Morgontha call out, Bella to the left, Afolia to the right. And I want you to put each of them, one on the left, one on the right.

No, on the right side of the, yeah, of the right side of the tree. And this is just him using the Lair action to call out. Are they all hanging? They have all arisen from the earth and they are ensnarled in the bow of the tree and they're hanging there, but you notice that the tree, the bow of it extends the entire length of this room.

As they dangle there, their bodies, you notice are charred. You see parts where their skin had been burnt off and bubbled, but you see that bits of hardened bark is beginning to form over the burned scar tissue as they hang there and snarl down at you. And that is the lair action, and so I need to roll for them. What did you get your room?

I'm two, I'm too, oh, nine. What did you, what did you get? You were tied, okay. They got an eight, but I'm gonna put them in between you just because I want to. That's fine, I don't care. It just evens it out all the catch. It evens out.

Yeah, I made a cobweb, so. A strong wind is gonna take you down, yeah. With your permission, I put them between you. Is it fair to say that The big one is Morgontha. The big one is Morgantha and then it's Bella and. They're all sisters. Yes, a father of all right.

Oh, I thought we're, Elis and Herces Trott. It was her daughter. Anyway, that's fine. With Hags, sisters, daughters, it doesn't really matter. Grandmothers. No relation. He uses that lair action to call forth the Crooked Coven. Jericho, it's your turn.

I'll say, I have you know that the demon and size out of me, eat the little witches like you for breakfast. Chop them down, Yorgy. And with that, I will do a twang on my banjo as a hellish orange light as eyeballs appear in the air and glare down the eye of Sauron on everyone here as I give you Bard Conspiration as I cast fairy fire. I think I should be able to get everybody

and not get Marius. Isn't it a square? It's a circle, isn't it? I think it's a cube. It's a 24 cube. It's pretty small. 20 wood cube. So this is a 4x4 cube.

I'm gonna do, can I get these guys? Yeah. You can get both of these. I don't know if you can get them. I meant one, two, three. Yeah, you got. Yeah, I'll get all four of these. So Van Brunt, Morgontha, and one of the daughters.

Has to roll. Number three. Okay. We'll say three is Ophalia. That's exactly who it is, actually. How do you know? And two is the other one. I forget, Bella.

Bella. Beautiful names. Sexity saving throws. For all of them. Yes. Including Billy. A folly of fails. Wait, who was the other one?

Billy, Morgontha and a Follya. I'm gonna re-roll it because I dropped it. That's a five. Morganta fails. And Van Brunt is gonna use a legendary resistance for the save. All right, okay, okay, that's okay. That's okay. are glowing, the two hags are glowing

in this fiendish orange light as eyeballs are kind of slithering all around them. That is my, I'm gonna probably, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, that's it. And you get a bar of inspiration. I'll mark that down. Is that a D-8?

Yes, it should be. Nice. Van Brunt is looks towards you, your grim, and you're going to watch as the branches immediately begin to move and you see Van Brunt pulled within the bow of the tree. You're looking everywhere for him and then all of a sudden you feel him immediately behind you.

He's going to use his bonus action plant transport ability to get behind you. He does not take attacks of opportunity when he uses it in this way. Shucks. Yeah, I'm really sad. And then he's going to make two crooked claws, attacks against you? Against me? Against you, yeah. They're a disadvantage. That's what that

one is. I'm going to use a dread on one of them. Okay, that one will pass. Does a 19 hit? That's his lowest. Okay, so both of those, yeah, both of those are going to hit. Fucking sucks. 15. Damn it. Help me John Goodman. John Goodman only helps those and help themselves. Oh, Tynegan appears to those in need. You simply have to call. Are you going to take 28 points of piercing damage? Oh, piercing damage?

Mm-hmm. Oh, hang on. Hang on, hang on. And because you were hit by both of them, you are grappled. What does that meaning then? Um, it must be zero. Can't take reactions.

It's just zero. Just the movement speed. Just the movement speed. And you can be dragged along. You can be moving. It is a, there's a DC to get out of it, which you can use your turn to attempt to do, should you like to. And then he's going to use, because he has you grappled, he's going to use crooked teeth on you. See you around, Jordan.

Be cool. Your regular teeth is fine. Does 18 hit? Oh, no. And that's going to do 16 points of piercing damage. Oh, good. I thought this was Druskinvall. You can buy my father

and that is his turn. Your Chrome. You call her queen, Van Brunt, but when we strike you down, she'll call you food. And I will... Would it be... Would it be, would it make sense for me to assume that if he has me grappled, if he tried to do his tree, like, nightcrawler thing again, I would go with him? Yes. Okay. I'm just to fuck him. Yeah. I attack recklessly.

Okay. I need you to roll a Christmas saving throw and a Constitution saving throw. Oh. Do you have an aura? Yes. I think you have to be within. Either way, you're within 15 feet. Yeah, 10 feet. For sure, it's, before the attack? 10 feet. Yes. So you two attack him, you have to rule a charisma saving throw. Okay. And while in melee range, I need a Constitution saving throw.

And four whatever you get. 17 for the charisma save. That, that passes. I only got plus one. Oh, my goodness. Nick you're welcome. Death to trees. This tree is getting chugged down.

You know, I'm going on this one, bro. What was this one? A con save? A constitution saving throw. Oh, damn, dude. That's 14. Yeah, it's 14. You immediately take, you immediately take two points of necrotic damage.

Ah! As the crooked rot seeps into. Yarkrim, calm the hell, man. Jogram, it's two points. He's running me like an apple. He's been into my son and I'm running like the apple berries. It's just fucking night crawling over to me. Snag me up.

Beated me into my flesh is running. Tighten up. Okay. Okay. You'll lock it up. Fuck. Fuck I hate this guy. Tighten and lock.

You're wrong. Your first time was like an 18, bro. Well, I didn't. Really Chris was actually rolling away from Derek. Roll away from Derek. Roll away from Derek. Oh, that's right. Well, that could be my second attack anyway.

So if I want to keep my first, one would hit. Well, presumably, I rolled in 18, so 25. And you rolled a Christmas saving throw for both? For both. Oh, so the first attack goes through. Oh my goodness. That you have a toast. It bounced throws Derek, I'm sure.

Yeah, yeah. No, I'll lose it to the second Chris. I mean, it's four. Yeah, it's seven. It's four. You know, just to make it easy, I'll only do it on the first attacks. That way people, you know,

because it feels bad if you only get one attack per round, but someone with two attacks for round. Oh, I missed my second attack. You missed either one. Oh, you missed it. So, roll for damage. Roll for damage. Oh, right.

Gosh, now remember that you're an ancestral guardian. Remember you're raging. Yeah, you're raging. Yeah, you're raging. So that you're rage damage. Just plus it too. Okay, okay, so that's plus seven. 13.

The wicked number. Is rage up to plus three yet or no? No. No. You slash into William Van Brunt, and he laughs with every hit that he takes. You can see that these branches that are puppeting his body seem to be taking from

and giving from him all at the same time. And he takes each, of your hits as if it was no issue at all, all the while holding you to himself. And Uyghuram might describe the myths coming from his lantern. Oh, yes. Engulfing him because now, just mechanically, he's been marked by the ancestral guardian. So if Billy attacks anyone besides Uyrgram is disadvantaged. Oh.

That's exactly right. That's exactly what happens. No, I was going to say that. I was talking. Talked my line. I was just inhaling the breath. Check, you can also protect people. I can't take your reaction.

No, no, that's not. That's not. You can't. If you want, I was misremembering. Grapple is just me. Got to go. Thanks, Tewa. No pressure.

Yeah. I'm so over here, you know what I mean? Played someplace for a few. We can just skip the crooked coven. I mean. Lightning! Oh! Fly!

Sisters! You're summoning the Magrissisters to stop us! Let's start by eating the busty one. Van Brunt calls out. And then devour her. Holy fuck. No! You're fucked.

Holy fuck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, that's the end of the street. Woo! Van Brunt calls out, come and help me, sisters. Worganta, Bella, Afolia.

Make yourselves useful for once in death. Fultus knows you are never useful in life. Immediately, the three figures that have dropped down from the darkness above, these desiccated hag corpses, puppeted by the same branches that manipulate Van Brunt, they all begin to croak voicelessly and move their withered hands out and about as they begin to cast their dark magics.

They are going to look at all of you, and I need you to, I need you all to roll. Oh no, they're, together you watch. is this sickly dark magic that is traveling from each one of their individual fingers, begins to line up and focus on a target. They are going to look towards Jericho, who is the one that cast the fairy fire on them.

And I need you to make a wisdom saving throw, please. Wisdom, you say? You do not get my plus four. I'm gonna, I'll add plus four anyway. You're in range, he just denies. He just denies. That's called fate. That is a woof.

Yeah, that is a woof. Hey God, with my plus four twist. Why does the dice even have that side? That's terrible. Who made this? Who made this? Deeply plot. Three plus four is seven.

Oh, that failed. You watch as the magic from their three individual fingers, this dark purple necrotic magic, as these lines of magical power coalesce and converge together and shoot straight towards Jericho, like a beam of necrotic energy, it begins to shift and change to a similar pink hue, the pink hue that you remember from the dream pastries.

As they look out and Morganta calls out and says, dream little one, and you immediately fall unconscious. For one round you were asleep, you'll wake up at the start your next turn. Oh, that's nice. And that is the crooked cuppin. Do they move at all? They do not move.

They're exactly where they are. It is left in his turn. It is left in his turn. But he is gonna go ahead and make another touch of rod attack on your grim. Ah! Yorgrim! Is he still misadish on you?

No, because he hit me. Well, no. You got it back. You, no. Because it was your turn again. Yes. But I recognize it, so it's even. So it's even.

Straight. Okay. Okay. Okay. Does it 17 hit? Yes. Oh my God. Your AC is shit.

It's 17. Okay. I don't know. Just saying. He's biting me. He's eating me. 10 points. And then he's going to hit you.

Ten points of damage. Fiercing damage. Yeah. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, it's necrotic damage, isn't it? For the bite, it's the... Wow, you look exactly like that guy right now.

That's fucking crazy. The bite is piercing. That's fucking amazing. Someone jiffed this immediately. Please, I'm begging you. This is too much fun. I will... Oh, fuck.

I don't know what to do. I think, I can see that every I can see that everyone is struggling with the warping effects, the attacking, saving throws, these sorts of things. And so I will take a step over here and making sure that everyone is in range. I will whisper, Dark lady, hear my prayer, protect us, protect my allies and my friends

so that we can save a life, so that we can defeat this terrible evil. Let the darkness fall. And I will cast Bless on everyone. Oh shit, let's fucking go. Attack rolls and saving throws plus 1D4. Yes! Oh! Bazinga.

Baziga. Huge. And I cast it at a third level so that it hits all five of us. Is that one time thing? No, that's the next minute, my friend, as long as I can concentrate on it. And then I'm going to cast a spiritual weapon. And I will make a spiritual weapon occur right here. And then I'm going to, I was here, five,

25, 20. I think I can make it here next to Jericho. Back and work. And my spiritual weapon appears and attacks, which means that I need to make a spell attack against Crooked Moon Man. You're attempting to fight Van Brunt. Yeah. Yeah, I need you to make a charisma saving throw.

Well, I got a natural one. I was rolling for the attack. That's cheating. That's cheating. I'm going to get a, and I bless myself, so I'm gonna roll a D4. I'm going to get, what is it, charisma you say? I'll get like 20 billion. It's- The DC-16.

Oh yeah, I absolutely did crush it and I'm able to resist the effect or take half. All it does is determine whether you get to attack him or not. Oh, so now I may attack. Now you may attack, but you got a natural one. I got a natural one that counted. That was the intended role. Yeah.

It misses. And that will be the conclusion of my turn. Thank you for your time. You're welcome. I'll be here all night. The- The end of this round. Cobbwams.

Briggs, as you watch as Lethaca makes these moves to try and save your gum, your attention is focused in all of these different areas that you don't notice at first the roots that begin to writhe up around your legs. As you hear, he's gonna use two legendary actions and allow, or, and Kellyn is going to step into the fight. As she, you hear through the roots almost vibrating

in your mind, I would like you to grovel. And she's gonna cast command. I need you to make a wisdom saving. I see this massive hanging root, Root Man. And I, yeah, I just did Cherio lose gargantuan over you. Shara's blessing upon you. You get plus four.

You do say whiz, you say whiz, you say whiz. I do say whiz. Roll a D4. You're a D4. So hold on. So that's five plus two is seven. I mean, the high time is 11. I failed.

She casts command on you and commands you to grovel. So you fall prone and kneel. At the start of my next turn. I'll grapple. Yeah. And it is the start of your next turn. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, why did I even try to pour lair? Oh, God, please, please. Just take you, please. Ah, yeah. That's your turn? I'm prone. Marius. I'd just to work off.

I'd like to attempt to attack her. Okay. No checks or anything for her? No. All right, I hit her twice. Well, we'll think. Very far as good. The lowest was a...

Was she fairy fire? Yeah. Oh. That first one will hit. Saw fish for a crin. No, Billy. No, Billy. Yeah.

And the second one is a natural one. Oh! So I'm gonna like less camp five. I'm gonna spite the crin. I don't have the damage, right? It's just to hit for blessing. Yeah, blizzard. Okay, so the first, I'm just spending another first.

I'm almost out of spot-lise. That's what time you said, right? That's going to get 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 25 for the first hit. Way lower. 25. And then another nine is 34 points of damage over two attacks. Again, I'm just, like, in the groove here and, like, rolling with, and my sword is absolutely a light with this blood-red magic as I bring down and smite,

thanking my liege again for their guidance. 34 points of damage to attack. It does a significant amount of damage. You watch as your blade rips through her burn scarred skin, hitting it bark as you see bits of splinters fly off this way and that. The rotting bits of her flesh fall to the ground with a squishy pop as you do a significant amount of damage to her.

She lets out a loud shriek and recoils back, but the bow of the tree continues to puppet her forward. Creatures of the night will not take our allies. And it is the lair action. The Crooked Coven is going to look at all of you, and in a 15-foot radius sphere, they're going to try and hit as many of you as possible. They can definitely get the three of us.

Yeah, I was gonna say to do this or this. Did they all go on layer action and their initiative? This is, so their layer actions are different. So yes, this is something that they're doing as a layer action. Damn. And so a 15 foot radius sphere, and they all begin to shake the bow of the tree

as they rock back and forth doing this horrific night hag dance among the bow shaking loose, all of these teeth from the bow of the trees as they begin to pelt down around you. Those that are in the 15 foot radius sphere need to make a dexterity saving throw, please. And you add four and your default. Does Prone disadvantage me?

I feel like yes, it does. And then I can check under Prone. You've disadvantaged your attack rolls. Oh, that's it. Oh. Otherwise the attack roll and it's disadvantage. Yeah. You're right. No, you're not as much. Yeah, it doesn't say anything about you.

You can roll. I'm going to use two twists. Okay. Thank you for the twist chat. We need that. Oh, I need to add 24 because I'm blessed by Douglady. I will kill you. 24.

Why'd just say it like that? That's a weird way. It's a weird question. 19. I'm just feeling on the ground. I'm just failing on the ground. I think I still fail. So 7, 8.

9, 10, Dexie say? 11, 12, 13, 14. 14 fails. The 19 succeed. It does 33 piercing damage to those that failed and half to those that passed. Oh, is it? It's basically like teeth fireball.

It's close to teeth fireball. And you're raging. It's another. It's another. Damn, my brains are so fucking sick. Oh, I'm gonna play my bearings so bad. That was a big hit. Have you ever?

I have to roll a six on a D6 for them to do that again. So it's not like you have to deal with it, every single air action. And Jericho, your turn. Oh, my step, my, oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's my turn. Oh, hello, Miss Lepika. You want to stand up? I can't.

We can't. No, start off your turn. Oh, start? You don't lose a turn. You don't lose a turn, you just forego any reactions until your next turn. You can't get out of things, you would automatically fail saves, that kind of stuff.

It would be half your speed to get up, right? Oh, you're right. Shucks. I am going to, oh gosh, oh gosh, Mass Healing Word is what, is, my name is what? I'm gonna run for it. Oh, you're not looking too good. One, two, three.

And I am going to play, okay, Virgil, let's all go to the crooky tree, let's all go to the crooked tree, let's all go to the crooked tree to get your demon's self a snack. And I am going to Twang cast a bonus action to mass healing word, which is a third level spell. I am going to be able to up to six creatures. Damn. So one, two, three, all of us. All of us will enjoy some healing. Boop. Boop.

That is going to be, all of us will enjoy eight points of healing. All of us? As a bonus action. Great. And I will look at Morgotha and I will narrow my eyes and I'll say, I once accidentally murdered all of my best gals who also happened to be hags. Isn't that great? As I cast mine sliver on her.

Which one, Morgontha? Oh, Morgonfa, yep. Because she's been damaged, right? Yeah, she's been damaged. It's a, what saving throw? Intelligent saving throw. Okay, so she does fail. She rolled a natural 11 plus 15.

15, that is barely fails. So she will take six points, or no, 10 points. 10 points is psychic damage, and she must subtract one D4 on the next saving throw that she makes before the end of my next turn. Okay. And that is my turn, thank you. This, that happened.

She looks out at you, very confused by you, but your words seem to hit deep. And she is, she's wounded by this and seems to be put off and disoriented a little bit. It is now Van Brunt's turn. Yorghum, you are still in his arms. He is going to, he's gonna use his bonus action to move towards the corner of the room

that is uninhabited by anyone. Yep. Oh, the tree. Oh, here. This is the tree ability though, so like, I don't have to worry about, like, attack. No opportunity attacks. This is his bonus action to move via plants.

And he is going to make both of his attacks against, two of his attacks against you. Are they disadvantaged? Regular? Regular, disadvantaged, advantage. You took damage. Yeah, so it'd be regular. Okay. Irregular. Advantage.

Advantage. He recklessly attacked. Okay, well, I rolled a three and a one for the first attack. Oh, that's good. So one of the misses. I am gonna twist of dread because I rolled a three and a four. Okay, that one passes. So he's going to hit you with one of his claws,

and then he's also going to attempt to bite. Okay, and the bite hits too. So the bite, oh no, those are deepens. The bite goes in and it is 11. Ah! Damned! You can't get you're trying to face. You're so stupid.

You take five of that. 14 points of slashing damage, or, Pierce and Gametrim's claws. That's right. And that is his turn. After I yell out in pain. Enjoy your final moments, Van Brunt. Your first queen comes for you.

The first queen comes for you. And when she hunts, no prey alludes her sight. He wants to respond, but his mouth is so full of your flesh that he's unable to say anything. Joke on it. 48 prime work. 88 prime work. Your grimmet is your turn.

Your grimmet is your turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, charisma. Add a 1d4. Add some twist to it. Oh, you're golden, babe. Oh, mega golden. Yeah.

We only need to roll it once. Okay. Oh, yes. 20, charisma. Yep. And you're in melee, so you need to make the concept. so you need to make the con save against the rock. At a 1D4. Yep.

I love Plus. Yeah. A lot. 23. Okay. They're both 16. And now. You got a crit.

Can this be on attack? Yes. And D4. Is the Blas. It's a hit. Come on. Oh, yeah. 7.13.

20. Beautiful. And this is one time, right? Yep. 20. Okay. So 20. a hit, so I'll hit the first time, and then I'll attack again.

Well, plus, I mean, plus... Yeah, yeah, hell yeah, that's not... You're good, you're gold, you're gold. Oh! Oh! You're gold. 20, 20 both times. Okay. I finally learned how to cleric. And buff everyone around you and stand back and let your spiritual weapon do the... Oh, yes. Good job, God. Well done. 20 points of damage. And I'd like to, if he has kind of like a gnarled root

collarbone, I'd like to grab him by it, spin the shovel in my hand and just start like digging into, like in the, where like a neck sinews, like maybe viny neck sinches are. You can say the word clavicle? Yeah. Is that, is it like collarbone? It's collarbone clavicle.

Oh, clavicles are here? It's the same thing. Just take your shirt off. Yeah. At this point. Let's hold hands later. I know they're ass and dense in that, bud. Unrelated.

Fuck you, Van Brunt! And you are, you find that sweet spot that you were looking for, and you plunge your shovel into the knotted space between his neck and his clavicle. Yeah. And once more the mists will pour from the lantern obscuring his view of any of my comrades. Ooh. He is going to use legendary actions and you're going to Jericho.

You will feel the roots come up out of the ground and entwine around your body. As you hear Kellyn speak to you and tell you to Halt, and she will cast command. Wisdom saving throw. Wisdom, you say? Mm-hmm. I'm gonna use two twists. Thanks, Chad.

Fuck. Oh, two. No, that's not right. There's no way. There's no way. You're mathematically. Mathematically. Mathematically, there's no fucking way.

Plus two. We have the blast. Eight, nine, nine. Oh, 11. No, there's no way. No. You immediately halt. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. I'm a scared girl. I'm a scared girl. It is the Crooked Coven's turn. They are going to do what they did last time, and they are going to attempt to put someone to sleep. They are going to look out towards all of you. They're going to look towards Lethaca,

and you're going to watch as they intertwined that same magics and shoot it towards you. I need you to make a wisdom saving theory. wisdom saving throw as well. Oh. Oh, wisdom? I don't have advantage on this. It's just right.

You're blessed. Yeah. Oh, gosh. 15. That's the DC. You are able to, you feel the magic's infiltrating your body and you feel yourself shrug it off.

Plus they're wisdom for saving throws, baby. They let out an angry streak as they watch that what they've done has done nothing. And it is a video return. Oh, it's a donkey. I will use my action to produce a duplicate of myself. From where Lethika stands, you see an identical version of her race forward and run out to here, let's say. Nice.

And I'm gonna make that a natural point. So that makes that feel great. That duplicate Lethika is doing that. at work moving forward. Bad ass. And I'm going to... Can you share a space with that duplicate? It's an illusion.

Presumably you could stand there and wouldn't be difficult to rain or anything. And I will use my bonus action. What are you hiding? To... What are you hiding? An illusion. What are you hiding? Legion fans now.

What are you hiding? We do have a question in chat, which is, can Lethika actually be put to sleep? One of the things we talked about in this campaign is the fact that it is a realm of night and sleep is very important. And so all of the characters, who rules is written, wouldn't be able to be put to sleep. Can be put to sleep. Hence the reason Jericho, a scarecrow, can be put to sleep. Yeah, I have to sleep and it's very strange. And also, but fortunately, I don't have to worry about my sunlight sensitivity.

So I'll move my spiritual weapon 20 feet. You'll see this chakrum spin in the air. Darkness sprays out and it will. attempt to slash into Morgana with Morganfa, thank you. That's gonna be 23 plus five or whatever. That's gonna be. That's going to be one, the eight.

Where my D-8s? Hey, D-8s, D-8s, here you are. Give me nine points of the. Thank you, force damage for this purpose. And I will also screen scream out, sort of, uh, how is everyone doing? Does anyone need any, uh, healing magics? Yogrim!

Is that a fucking, fucking, you're not him from the side! Yorghum, I can't hear the others, quiet! And that'll be the end of my turn. Oh, my God. Just curious, just curious, just amazing. Absolutely.

Picking out his inside like an apple core. It takes a while for me to get online. Just hold on. Everybody hold the fuck on. That was set up. That was set up for next time. He's gonna use another legendary action to, you feel his hand sink into your flesh,

your grim, as the skin that he touches begins to rot away. I need you to, actually, no, I have to make an attack against you. Is it still advantaged? No. No. I think you record. Say that? Yeah.

Yeah, then yes. Yes. No, but I've been in this time yet. Since I was right. It's straight, yeah, you have. Because he hit you. And then he gets it back. Wait, but I went, right?

And so he's up. Okay, because we're like way up here. So it's straight. It's straight. Okay, so I will re-roll this then. 17? Yeah. Yeah.

I forget what yours is all the time. Yeah, it's 17. It's 17. We need to get you a shield. Can you just pull the tombstone guy? It's gonna do 12. 12 points of necrotic damage and it lowers your max HP by 12. I mean, I'm so sorry.

I can't help you. I'm too far away. There's nothing I need to help. I got hang this out the ass over here. If you're resistant, the ass groups. What kind of damage was that? Necotic. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Good for it, man. Oh, wait, how do I make you go down? Like negative? No, Briggs is going to save the day. It's a vood. Yeah.

Do you have anything? Dude, do something. Did you actually do that? Oh, I- What do you mean? I'm trying to. No, I did originally. Yeah, I want to you, cheer.

It's Briggs' turn, yeah? It's Briggs' turn. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm on the ground. I'm like groveling. I look up and like everyone's like left. I'm sort of in this like safe pocket.

And I see that like all this horrible stuff is happening. is happening. These guys are right above me and now they've swooped away. And I look at my flintlock and I say fucking worthless and I put it in my sash and I pull out a bottle of rum

from my jacket. I'll say, all right cross-rote. He said I had a crew for eternity. You better fucking pay up. And I light the bottle of rum and there's this sort of like, you'll see the top of the bottle like glow with this almost neon green light as

as my skeletal left hand similarly glows and you'll smell the smell of hot iron sort of waft through the room. And I reach over, and I draw with my hand across, and about here, a cross, a similar neon cross will draw on the ground, and from it, from the ground, you will see a rotting hand, emerge as a skeletal crocodile pirate.

Hell yeah. Clause its way from the earth. Oh, it's you, Eddie. Oh, go get him. Eddie. That's my ex-pirates to balloon. That's amazing. The fact that you know who he is is the best part.

He's like, no! We got way back. He sort of died when I got my cue anyway. It's fine. I love that you named him, Maddie. And he looks at me, he goes, hmm. And you'll see, he doesn't have a hat, but he has a bandana.

He has like a puffy white shirt. He has like a red sash with blue linen pants and boots. His eyes are glowing with this sort of magenta and green, neon green fire. As I, let me see here. I need to go to here. I need to go to... Does he also say honkling, want to... So hold, that was my action.

I did you finish my turn. Do we need potions? Didn't she give us potions? I don't know. I feel like you guys have had potions. I don't know if you've ever had them. I would check your inventory. I do not have a potion and I'm very good

of my equipment. Maybe we use them. I have a greater motion that's fair and has all of them. That's really funny. I would say, I think that's probably right. I know for a fact that Maggie would have each given you at least one greater healing potion. So I'll say for the sake of it,

just in case that's the case, you each have one greater healing potion. I'll let it know, yeah. I'll let it know. And so while it's on fire, I'm just like for favor, I'm gonna take a swing of it for my voters active in the heel. And then it is Eddie's turn. Marius has a greater poison potion.

So if he drinks it, he dies. He kind of has like orangeish, like golden, kind of rotting flesh, but he's still, his eyes are very sallow. All right, go attack, go get him. And he's like, hmm. And he starts to shambled towards Alethica. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And he stumbles onto and swipes through her.

Comically missing, but attacking, let's say, more gonfo. Okay. I love it. I thought you're about to see you. Still fairfired? Still fairfired? I believe so, yeah. I had vanished.

That is a, let me see what my little guy can do. Oh, is this guy for firing? Oh, no, he's not blinded. No, no, he didn't get hit. He did not get. Rodden Claw, it is to hit, oh, plus your spell attack. Oh, wow, so it's plus eight, so it's 20 something to hit. And then it does, we'll do a skeleton, it's a zombie down.

This is a zombie. Yeah, fucking. It's four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ten points of slashing damage. Nice. We'll say it's like a rustling cutlass that he has. He slashes it. He watches, Eddie shambles forward, slashes through Lethaca, he said.

No, so this is an illusion. I'm flavoring it. He thought that I wanted to him to attack Lethica. He comically swipes through. Yes, so he's, you watch as he rushes forward, not realizing who he's supposed to attack the confusion of the grave still lingering in his mind as he slashes through Lethika's illusory duplicate,

but finds purchase in Morgontha herself. And you notice that all of the hags let out a painful yell as she takes this damage. And you look between them in this moment, Briggs, and you're able to see that it appears that all the damage that's been done to Morganta is shared amongst the coven. Hell yeah. Oh, that's nice.

That's pretty cool. That's nice. Good job, you did it. You did it. I stand out. That's my turn. A legendary action, Samaria's a short time. I am going to do what I do best

to make two attacks on Wargantah. Still, fair fired. That's an 18 plus H is 26 to hit. Second attack is 26 to hit. Both hit? 20 total points of damage over two attacks. You slice into her into her rotting flesh and you watch as bits of flesh

fly off and impale themselves on thorny bits of the bow of this tree. They are, all of these hags are looking rough. They have just arisen from their grave and they are already struggling to keep their sentions. That's my turn. And is there layer action? Derek can have you roll at E6?

They do not get their, the Crooked Coven Lair action, so they cannot do that. And so, no, that's going to be, that's going to be it. Oh, is there anyone within five feet of them? Me. They could do this. Eddie. Yep. Eddie and Marius.

And Lethica is double. And illusion, Elephica. They all, they cannot combine their powers together to, to once again, rain it down the teeth of this crooked tree. But you do watch as all of them begin to sizzle and pop with lightning as lightning whips and rings around them. Anyone within five feet will take lightning damage at the start and end of their turn for this route.

Oh, gosh. That's different areas. That sucks. But that's the layer action, so you don't have to do anything until your action. Jericho, you are able to come to. Similarly, the command just, it just prevent you doing reactions.

Oh, I'm wondering. Did your whole turn. I don't remember if you wish to your turn. Oh, no, actually you're right. It should. It should prevent entire time. I should. You should.

You should. It's the other one that should. So it foregoes. No, I don't. We forgot your turn. It is William Van Brunt's turn. He is once again going to keep his eyes on you. He seems determined to win this fight against you.

This is the first. time in battle that Van Brunt has really had the upper hand and he is using it as he is going to attempt to slice into you. Is he advantage, disadvantage, or straight? Can you just tell me every turn? So actually, because I have no movement, the missed thing doesn't work. So he would be at a straight. Straight, okay. So both of those attacks, I'd be a 21 is the lowest. And then Then he's also going to make a bite attack on you, which is a, which is a 27. To hit? Mm-hmm.

He's got plus 10 to hit. Oh my God. So for the bite attack, he is going to do a total of two damage. That's necrotic? Yeah, two necrotic damage. Doesn't lower your necroses. Or it doesn't lower your health. That's something else.

And then... Your cream are... He's dropping on me like $5.00 rib-knutted sizzlers. And then you're going to take 24 slashing damage as he slashes in two with both of his cloths. If I wasn't a barbarian, I'd be jerk who fuck right now. Someone should help you on a group. I mean, I'm not 25-cent chicken rings. And that's Ben Brun's turn.

Oh, God. Fuck you, you dumb, ugly tree demon. I'll roll the con save first because I'm in his melee world. 18? Yeah, that passes. Okay. And this will be the charisma save to try and attack. 15?

That misses. I have film. That's even with your bless? Yeah. And advantage? Are you not recklessly attack? For charisma? Oh, it's safe.

Yeah. I'm recklessly charismatic. Was that all your actions? I mean, I can't... Do you have a bonus action, right? Oh! In the immortal words of Sylvie, drink your potion, dumbass.

As I'm playing around in the tree, I'll reach into my shirt and say, who did she say that to it? I can't, I think you said it, she said it to Rodeck. Way back in the day. Way back in the day. early early days I don't remember 90% of the things that I say I'm gonna be honest

it was one of our top rated clips on Twitch before the elbowing and ding the alboa the alboauny the aboney hamboone excuse me it's happening your turn makes he's no you didn't I'm sorry I can't do anything but you healed dang wiggly for me yes I You have to spin it. You get to spin it. You get a vortex. That just not look like a potion. Bandras or Marius, I read Bandras on there.

Mary, this is your turn. It's the crooked. Oh, no, it's not, because you're not Briggs. You're not Briggs. It's Jorgon. Yes, it's the Cuthan. Just for you. And Heaven's DeBetzi need to make saving for this concept. Not heaven's the best of the other one.

Oh, no. Natural 20 from Organtha. Oh, but she's a D4, that she has to sub. Thank you. Minus three, so 17. Oh, hold on. Oh, it's 16. Oh.

And then a natural 19 for Heavens to Betsy. Oh, they both pass. Anyway, I really stinks. Aww. Damn. He's so, he's vegetarian. It's so disgusting. They are going to look towards

Lethika and once again attempt to prevent Lethika from meddling for a while. Did you duplicate have a stat block? Lethika. I need you to make a with some saving. This is perfect delusion. Oh, no, mind. Oh, does, she's a perfect illusion? Yeah.

Oh, I'm gonna roll to see if they. Right, right now, there's an Eddie halfway through. Oh, okay. They know which one you are, though. I need a wisdom saving throw. We're no clipping like Gary's mod over here. It's just a nightmare. I need a wisdom saving throw for me.

It would be extremely obvious. In other trickery arenas, yeah, it wouldn't be so obvious. Wisdom saving throw, you'd say? It's 15. 15. Oh, my Lord. Oh, my God. Yeah, you're fucked.

My name is Derek McClure. And I got a 10. That's crazy. You rolled two. I rolled two ones. I roll one in the 220. And the one on the D4 and I don't need to use these twins. I'm listening.

Truly I'll be fine. I'm not proficient. Band brunt. Dyes? You are? Oh my God. Your hubris clouds your judgment. You are Derek the clerics.

And you don't need no twists. As the Hague Coven combines their magic together, creating that beam of dream sickness that shoots into your body, and you feel as if you can shrug it off, but you cannot as you crumple to the ground unconscious. Do I lose concentration? Yes.

Fudge. Oh, no. I'm gonna barry once I said up here. Oh, fuck. It's up to you whether or not my illusion remains. also because it's not. I would say you're a loot. Well, it's not a concentration thing,

but it is something I command. So I feel like it would probably disappear. Yeah, I feel like unconsciousness would get rid of anything like that. Gosh, that hurts. Yeah, that sucks. It's also your turn, though. Oh, fuck.

The special weapon stays, though, right? Yes, that has a duration. That has a duration. I will. What did you have those concentration? Bless. Bless. So no more deep.

Oh, no. Thank you for joining my misery. Welcome to the party. Here's a glass of acid. I'll stand. Jesus Christ, what am I gonna do? I'm never hitting this guy. How are you looking? Are you okay?

He's horrifically wounded. Van Brunt is only hurting. Oh, fuck this guy. I don't know he, I can take his problems and go. Oh, damn. I'm gonna go over here. I'm gonna touch your ass. Cast cure wounds.

Third level. Yeah, third level. And that'll be the beginning of my business. It just happens. I'll roll that between turns. And I'll also make a spell attack against. Is this advantage of Warganta? Yes.

Even though you went unconscious? Oh. Oh no. It should have a little bit. I'll drop Shary Fire. Okay. That is my fault. 15 to hit, Morgontha.

And mine, because I forgot. 15 hits. Okay, thank the goodnesses. And we'll do one of these, E's Kocked. That's gonna be 11 points of force damage to Morgontha from the spiritual chakram. And I will roll your hit points as that is the conclusion of my turn. The hags that are hanging from the boundary

look incredibly wounded at this point. You can see Bloody Iker, dripping from their eyes, from all of their open wounds. They are gasping when they try to quarrel with each other. The words are getting stuck in their throat. They are struggling with every movement. And that is Lethika's turn. Van Brunt is going to use a lair action to a touch of rot

on Yorghum. 16 to hit. 16 misses! I'm gonna use a drivetian. Oh, it was a 16 again, so I love that one right. Oh. Briggs E. Seeing Eddie doing some work,

I'm gonna be like, alright, nothing fucking works. All right, Cutlass, let's see what you can do. In my hand, this giant cutlass will emerge in the memory of the dead crocodile God, eating at the feast will. flash in my brain and as I walk up, can I get there? Do that.

Now I'm gonna come in with two attacks. Slice slice, and I'll attack it across. Morganta? Cloud's first limit breaks. Morgantha? Oh, yeah, cross slash. Pretty cool. One hits, presumably.

15 is there, I see. Four, five. Cross slash, let's say. And I'm not blessed, right? No. Okay, that is, that's that, and then I will roll damage for that. Do five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, sorry, hold on one, I'm sorry, nine, nine, ten, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, fifteen, sixteen, sixteen, eighteen, points of damage, magical slash.

You slice in to Morgontha and you rend rotting flesh from bone and after all is said and done, the three hags that hang there are completely lifeless, even in undeth. You watch, or you listen as Kellen lets out a guttural cry of disgust as, as you see as they begin to shake and the branches begin to consume them,

the dark bloody icker that drips from their eyes and their wounds sucked up into the branches and it almost gulps it like nectar and where the three hags had been hanging, they are no more. So did she die technically? Yeah, the curtain comes up. I hill 11 points.

So as the cutlass connects, it'll flash and it'll sort of draw their animal into my body. Oh, that's not what I feel is coming off. And then it's Eddie's turn. One, two and a half, three and a half. He's gonna shan- A pirate's life for me.

He needs to roll a charisma saving throw. You're gonna fucking at that. 18? That passes. Plus, oh, they're very balancing. Sweet bouncy. And then let me pull up his stat board. I need to find a better way to have this stat block.

It is a again with a rusty magical cutlass, the rotting claw. He is going to get a 16 plus, oh yeah, eight to hit, that probably hits. Yep. He's going to do, is that a two or a three? It's a two. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight points of slash a point. Eddie shambles up and slashes into Van Brunt.

He looks down with his crooked smile and seems to be not at all bothered by the damage that he has taken. And he is going to turn towards you again using another layer action. And he is going to attempt to actually his final layer action this round. And he's going to attempt to infuse your body. body with more crooked rot.

It's just straight. Natural 20. Oh no. Natural 20. It's okay. Crooked body. Gosh. Gotta give it out.

Gotta give it. No, I do. 12. Oh, boy. 17 points of necrotic damage and it lowers your HP by 17. Your max for HP is that might turn the tie. Which will not work. Also all the things I can do that can help will stop

benefiting in very quick. Marius. This is kind of cool. This is a nightmare. If only I could get to you, I'm just gonna dash. That's all I can do. I don't really have any good bonus actions at the moment. And they're not like, they're not clogging up to that.

No, you take the- They have been consumed by the tree itself. I'm gonna get right in this guy's face, but I've used my action to dash. I don't know if I need to make a saving throw or anything along those lines. Oh, you, you, you, Yes, you need to make a con-saving throw. Oh, and so did Eddie.

Eddie needs a con-saving throw. Oh. My- Well, he's immune to nukot. Yeah, so he doesn't matter. I failed the con-saving throw. You will take a lot of damage, like huge, four points of necrotic damage. My head can him is this.

Ah! Oh, it does hurt more than I thought it would! Oh, he's killing? Um, no. Just back out slowly. With my bonus action. Sort of hacking at the roots at the boss door. Okay, you can go home, you can go home.

That's fine. We take the deal. Oh, man. I'm going to attempt to compel it to duel me. Oh, my bonus action, my last level one spell slot. As I rushed it to your grim side, I raised the sword looking at

William Van Brunt, and I say, face me, you coward, and drop my friend. and he needs to make a wisdom saving throng. Natural 19. I'm assuming the DC isn't higher than 19, but... No, it's a 15. It doesn't do anything.

Oh, we dread you actually. You spent 20 twists and we dread you. That would actually be cute. That would be kind of cute. That's my last... I'll think about it. That's all I can do. I have one spell slot left,

but second level spell slot. That's my own turn. Thanks for playing. I pass. I allow him to succeed. 15's pretty beatable, you know. Yeah, there's not much I can do about it. With the Coven gone, there are no more layer actions.

Oh, no more layer actions. And so he's out of legendary, so Jericho, it's your turn. Oh, Garsh. Oh, Jericho there. I wasn't expecting this. Garsh. I am going to, Oh, shoot. Oh, man. I don't know why I wasn't ready for this. I am going to...

Is there a saving throw that we want him to be bad at? Your wisdom about four turns ago. Wisdom is a good catch-all. I am going to walk forward and say, we're here with you, your groom. Your friends are at your back. There ain't going to be no water and have no roots today, Billy, except for your own innards as I am going to pluck on my band Joe is a kind of funeral dirge as I will flick back my mouth and suddenly I will shriek out, give me your secrets.

And I'm gonna cast Dissinant Whispers. Oh, on him, that is a wisdom saving throw. Oh, I love this. That's great. 16. I'm gonna legendary resistance. Oh. And with that, I think nothing happens.

Hold on. These hags- Oh, half damage, half damage. These hags are humanoid, are they? There's no fucking, they're all dead. No, dude. He will take half of this in sighty damage unless he is immune to, one, two, three.

That's it, five, five to six. Oh, nice. Hey. One, five, eight, teeth is ten, 11, it's like five points of sight of damage. He takes the damage and yet he's still similar to what you did where you threw your head back and you said this thing to him. He throws his back and laughs and laughs and laughs as he looks down at Marius,

or as he looks down at Yorgrim. And it is his turn. He is going to make both of his attacks against Yorgram. Hold on one sec. He needs to make a saving throw. I think it's a con saving throw because he really stinks. That's wild. That's fucking wild.

What is this for? The 16 con save because Eddie just, he's rotting, he's falling off. He smells disgusting. Oh, I see. He's going to use his last legendary resistance. Because he wants to do this and I want to do this and I rolled it too. That's fucking hilarious. He's festering.

So he's going to miss the first hit. He will hit, wait, and why am I rolling at advantage? Am I supposed to be at advantage or disadvantage? I'm going to re-roll all the days. He actually might be if I'm, I don't know if grapple. York has not. No, you haven't done anything, so I'll roll the normal. No, no, no.

You can ignore that part of the, that's just when it was like a displacer cloak. So it definitely still worked. This is part of his vest. So, have you been hit? I don't. I think the only person that's hitting him is Van Brom. He's notically bit me.

Oh, that's true. Yeah, I would have been hit. So it's advantage then. It is an advantage. Did you recklessly attack? I haven't, no, I didn't get to attack at all. So it's straight. It's straight.

It's straight. Okay, so I'm gonna re-roll because I've been rolling at advantage. Okay, so the first one will hit. The second one will miss. And then the bite will hit. So, yeah, I have to be the camera over here so I can get it.

The bite is 10, points of piercing damage. Do you want me to diagonal it for it so that you can have arms length, but like, if I do this? And then 18 points of piercing for the slash. So 28 points of piercing. We're upside down. That's 14.

I'm just telling the audience. He looks incredibly wounded. Oh, and he's gonna use his bonus action to take you to the farthest corner where nobody is. Son of a gun! I knew that was gun, honey. Is there a sloop? Like over here?

I tried so hard, miss. I really did. Sluop. You hear that, Vanbrud? Your family rots in the branches while mine rallies. Your cowards flee ends soon. Um, all roll con with no bless. Fuck, man

Okay, that's That's plenty That's like over 20 And I'll roll charisma With no blouse Or palatum presents Uh, can I use five twists? Yeah, do it.

Yeah, oh, I use five twists Cashing in. Oh! Nice. Woo! Oh, I meant to attack recklessly. I'm doing it at all, I'm sorry.

But that would hit in. Yeah. So, okay. And I'll try. Second time. Yeah, so both would hit, presumably they're over 20. So I will.

And I need a con saving throw to see if you take more crooked rot. I rolled Khan from being his melee range. Yeah, yeah. This is another con? No, no, no, no, it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I passed. Yeah, it was over 12. Cool, cool, cool.

You're good. 28 points of damage as once again, I keep just jamming the shovel into his clavicle. as I strike down a furious, as each blow lands, eruptions of mist will be blasting out of each strike as it lands pointed into his gnarled form. The brutalized Van Brunt stares at you

with a look of acceptance. Your grim, as the branches and roots of the crooked tree dig deeper into your flesh. With this final blow, you have wrenched the last bits of life from him, But he is not done. Intertwining with your chains and even snaking into the cracks of your tombstone,

one branch tightens even more around your neck like an enormous noose and the air leaves you. As your friends watch around you, Van Brunt leans in close. I am glad we can serve together. The branches of the crooked tree shudder and move apart with terrible speed and even more horrible strength.

And the rest of you see both William Van Brunt and Yorghum get ripped apart, the clandstone, breaking into hundreds of fragments as the cold iron chains snap. Blood and viscera rained down over the entire chamber and hangs amongst the branches. In an instant, the soil around you is drenched in blood and the crooked tree drinks deep.

The black sap of the tree turns to thick, deep red as Farin drinks as deeply as the tree that she is fastened to. With a terrible shudder, Farron gives out what sounds like a death rattle as her eyes open, but they are yellow and wide with malice. She opens her mouth now filled with putrid, crooked teeth, and the face of the tree does the same,

a shimmering deep green portal within. She speaks with Farron's voice. A vessel worthy of the crooked queen, I'm gone home. Gorthos will suffer as I have suffered. In another stunningly swift motion that should not be capable of a tree, the trunk leans forward and the terrible face upon its dark,

on its bark, follows what once had been Farron. With that final chomp, the entire chamber groans as the tree shifts and changes, its boughs and branches roiling and shifting. The gnarled barrier slithers away and crumbles into splinters, revealing the hollow that imprisons Adela.

It creaks as it shrinks, and Adela begins to scream in pain. You each have a moment. I was the closest to it. I'm gonna sprint up to see what's left of York. No, no, no, no. I'm gonna go over there. Fuck Adela, no offense. I sprint to your order him.

I mean, he's, he's in the trees. He's in the trees. Like a body, he's fucking. There's literally nothing left. Do I get the scent that I use Shatter? I might be able to break some of the bark to help, like, if someone's close to the tree to help save Adela?

Yes. You imagine. I'll be absolutely stunned and just wordlessly, just looking up. at Jorghum and then staring down at Adela, I say nothing as I just do a strum on my banjo. And there's a massive cacophonous cry of a demonic crow that bursts and will do extra damage to non-creature things.

I think at the same time, my spiritual chakram will have flown forward, and I'm trying to hit the tops of the bars and almost buzzsaw through, if I can, At the same moment that this shatter occurs, I am endeavoring to separate the bars from the roof of this cage. You do that. The moment that there is an opening, I would attempt to move forward and grab Adela and get her out of the tree.

But the meanwhile, my eyes are wide with shock, and all I can say is, no, no, you know it wasn't supposed to be like the snow. Adela were coming. He was just, he was, he was, he was, and I'm like gonna get on the ground and like I just saw him all wrapped up with Dillie, right? And then just everywhere and I'll pick up like chunks of tombstone and chunks of like, I don't know,

flesh or claw. I don't know what's left. You, you- You just barely save Adela Druskinvold from the fate of being crushed within the hollow of the shifting tree before you. She is unconscious from the terrible experience you just underwent, and you realize that quiet has finally returned to the chamber.

Farron is nowhere to be seen, nor are the mangled remains of Van Brunt and Yorgram. You notice a faint glow of spectral blue on the ground that emanates from the lantern that had belonged to the gravedigger. It grows and grows until a blue spectral shape of Yorgram himself stands before you. His spirit looks to all of you and begins to speak. My pilgrimage is at its end Joey! Is that you? I failed the maiden. I failed my clan.

No, no, no. And worst, I failed you. Please. Perform my rights. No, no, we can fix this. Hold on. I go to you. I found one piece. Hold on. With the last words of the fallen shaman known as Yorgrim, his specter shimmers and fades into gray mist. A small draft whipping down from above to disperse it. As Yorgram's shade leaves, you see what remains in this chamber.

A tree still stands, dark as midnight. Its branches rising like twisted antlers. And at the base of its withered trunk, twisted in agony and weeping tears of black sap, now embedded in the bark, is the face, of Farron of the Heart Splight. And that is where we will end tonight's session. Great session, Mickey. Nice to run the session, Nikki.

Really great session. Done. Congratulations. You killed William Van Braun. Kill the map. Kill the fucking map. William Van Brun is dead, and he ain't coming back.

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