Legends of Avantris - For What It's Worth | Ep. 1 | Heist Story: Part 1

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Four burglars hatch a plan to steal an artifact from a museum in Part One of this heist mini campaign...    Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/TjghdyOPgps?si=GLasTlaSufUXLJqi

Welcome to Legends of Aventris. On the eastern shores of Yonah, there lies the great city of Galtica, staring out into a dark and turbulent ocean. This is a place of business and commerce for many, a place of opportunity for some, and home to hundreds of thousands of creatures that make up the many boroughs and districts within the city proper. Its history is old and storied, older certainly than the noble families that would call themselves its rulers, for Galtica has no one king or sovereign. In spite of this, or perhaps because of it, Galtica perseveres. This is a hub of many, many races from across the mortal plain and even beyond, and thus is a city of great spectrums.

tremendous wealth and oppressive poverty, festivals and fairs and crime and corruption, adventure and intrigue and indulgence in hedonism, a city of many faces, both literally and figuratively. Each of its myriad wards and neighborhoods houses humans, teaflings, dwarves, elves, dragon-born, and half-other, and half-an-other world of humanoid creatures. Merchants can be heard from nearly every street corner, calling out the contents and wares of their stalls. Each street brings its own flavors and smells and spices from the many clustered street cart food vendors and cafes and taverns and eateries. If you can think of it, you can probably find it here in Big Goodberry. Tonight, we find ourselves in the bustling district of Little Philibherfia. just above a quiet deli known as

Gino's Deli It is here that you all find yourselves now Not quite a week after your eventful evening At the Virtue Financial Community Bank It is here that you'll learn what your new backer Miss Lady Greaves Has tasked your crew To Thieve

How you approach this job how you plan for it and work together to achieve this ultimate aim is up to you. Is Lady Greaves currently here? Is Lady Greaves currently here? No, this is just after a week or so. A little less than a week ago was when she had confronted your crew for your heist attempt. Successful, though, it was. It was very much an audition.

It was very much her testing the waters to see if a crew could be experienced enough for her to find someone to task with her. priority and she seems to have found it in the four of you. And so now you have returned to the second floor where Gino lives just above, effectively, your base of operations just above Gino's deli. What time of day is it? What time of day is it? I'd say it's about two in the afternoon. What time of year? It's the 23rd day of the six months. Is it like spring, summer? Summer. It's the heat of summer. On the desk by the window, stacks of books piled up and tons of documents strown about. You see the body small, only about a foot, foot and a half, like really stretched out of a small pixie. Sweating, fanning herself with a document dramatically. Glitzy. She looks around. She looks

around. When are you going to get that fan fixed? You know I saw on a document once? Which one? How to make the one that you fanning yourself with? Oh, this one? On how to make milk? Yeah.

You don't want to know. Okay, but that doesn't answer my question as to whether you saw a glass. You know they come from cows? Yeah, I know. That's disgusting. I've drank it straight from the source before when I was desperate. I thought they came from bears. Why would it be better if it came from bears?

Because I'm a bear. Do you want me to drink milk from you? Anyway, everybody, you're probably wondering why I'm going to ignore me as me, oh, God. As I'll go over to my liquor cabinet. And what do you look like? And as you head towards the liquor cabinet? You'll see as you standing at about 5-2, 5-3, a paunchy short black bear

folk, humanoid black bear in a kind of brownish, beigey suit that is far too small for him. Single color pinstripes? I think that it's the most old man suit you could imagine, so not pinstrips. I go in a tweed direction. Yeah, it's a tweed, yeah, it's a tweed suit,

and it's busting at the buttons, but for some reason, Gino insists on keeping it buttoned, even though you could just very, very reasonably, just leave it on buttoned. If you were to do this, would the buttons fly off and ricochet around the room? There's a reason why he's not sitting down very much. He shuffles around.

You see a bloody and greasy apron hanging up on a hook next to the door. And he's taking it off, and then there's a similar tweed fedora hanging up on a little hat rack that he has. This being a gulthic, I presume a lot of people will wear hats. And so he will shuffle over to his liquor cabinet, which includes an icebox with a glass bottle of milk he knows to keep chilled for glitzing.

He then will fix himself a cocktail, Gino's favorite, a ye old fashion, with an ee at the end of old. Does anyone else want a ye old fashion? And turning to the rest of the room, there are two other people who are in the room. And I would ask Orla to describe herself and whether or not she wants a cocktail. Should I describe my pixie since I didn't? Oh, my apologies. I told you what her name was, but I didn't tell you what she looked like.

The window is open. You're sweating. The hot air of summer is blowing across what kind of appearance? So my pixie is adorable. She has a bright pink, like neon. pink foahawk. She is wearing a leather jacket that has like bits and bobs of glittery things stuck to it. And on the back, it's got a hastily drawn bomb with butterfly wings on it that says that's the bomb. Her shirt is a ripped up tour shirt from the Iron Maiden, clearly touring

Druskinvald this autumn. I thought it was Ayn Maiden. It's not as Iron Maiden. She's wearing a pair of black leather cut-off shorts and fishnet stockings that have been sewn together with glittery thread. And she's wearing huge black leather boots. Orla has sort of a big floppy sun hat for gardening in, but it has two nice little holes for her ears, and she's currently fanning herself with it. She's got sort of a Midwestern mom meets Beatrix Potter outfit of some nice canvas shorts that go all the way down below her knees, respectable, like, little, little dusty guy, nice non-tweed fabrics

since it's the middle of summer. You know, they just don't sweat and Gino's sweating. And the air isn't on because the deli is failing. And you know how much that fucking cost? I imagine, you know, sometimes you go into those delis and they have that like gigantic metal fan that doesn't work and it has, Oh yeah, there's actually one.

It's a broken like Artifacer's fan, right? And it's broken, it's broken. It's like one of those gross yellow fly traps. Oh yeah. The like spinny ones? Yeah, yeah, disgusting. The whole, this whole room smells like cheap booze and deli meat. And you were saying one.

And Orla's gonna sort of inspect the edge of the bed maybe and sort of brush it off a little bit before sitting down. It's crunchy. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's a little sticky. I can tell them. There's some bread's water.

I'm glad my shorts. There's a lot of breadcrums. There's a lot of breadcrums. You sit down and there's definitely a liquor bottle will kind of like rattle underneath that. And would you have like all types of liquors in your liquor cabinet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'll just ask for a, I'll have a, I'll have some already, like I'll be sipping carrot juice. I'll just ask you, top me off a little bit of that little.

Yeah, good thing. I have an icebox here for carrot juice. I don't know. I have some liquor in there. Oh. Just a touch. I was going to say, I was like, I don't want to be the only one drinking. I feel a little insecure. I mean, it's already 10 a. I am. 2 p.m. Oh, it's already 2 p.m. It's late. It's late.

You'll pour it. I'll be like, it's a little bit more. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Careful. We have a height. Perfect. I stumble a little bit. You have the long years because. you're a rabbit folk. Yes. Okay. And Knuckles sits on the other side of the bed, perhaps making it lean and squeak loudly. I'm sitting on a tiny little wooden chair. Oh, okay. I'm about three times as wide as the chair. A large, probably six foot

10, rhino folk, kind of a leathery gray skin, smooth head with a large horn on his nose. and he's wearing kind of like a sort of like a dirty kind of stained like a line shirt you know no sleeves and he has slim black suspenders that connect to pinstripe

kind of charcoal pants and he has shoes that he would think are nice and fancy they're really not that good they're kind of like schlubby but he probably polished them this morning, and they don't fit his feet very well because he's a gigantic rhino person,

but he thinks he looks slick. And so I'll call out to Gino. Do you have a hat on? No. Okay, that would be awesome. I was just thinking about how cute a hat would look for those little rhino ears. I pull out one of those little, like,

what do you call on? A supervisor? No, I don't know what I'm saying? It's a little, like the taxi, the paper boy hat, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's canonical now. Like in the newsy.

Yeah, yeah. A feel like that. Oh, boss, you know why they call me knuckles, don't you? Why? Because I got knuckles, and I know how to use them. And I like me fucking drink, so please, could I have, I'm even just a bottle. I don't need a old year old. Why don't you be a little bit civilized, knuckles?

I know that you're the muscle, but, you know, have some class. Does it make me feel better if you, you know, shake a little bit, your bit of tasting things in it? Yeah, it would make me feel like I'm among highest society than the slubs that we all are. As long as it's got whiskey in it. Okay, it's got a lot of whiskey, man, the primary ingredient. I'll make him a ye old-fashioned, because I don't want to be the only one drinking a coffee. Because I don't want to be the only one drinking a cocktail. It'll hand it. Everyone will have their drink.

And I'll turn to you and say, you know, Knuckles, I always thought that that was a very uninspired name. You thought about anything more creative, like my nickname, especially in the life. Do you know why they called me The Butcher of Forty Second Street? What did I call you to Butcher of Forty Second? I don't have heard stories. But what did I call you that? Oh, because I own a meat shop on 40 seconds 3. I'm a butcher and a deli owner.

That's where you are now. Oh, yeah, that's 40. I pointed at the street sign outside. It's 42nd Street. I guess you'll never guess why they call me Glitzy the Bang Sparks. We've known each other for so long. I can't believe we're talking about our nicknames right now, but you tell them. I mean, he's full of sake of an audience.

We have an audience. Is someone watching us? We're going on a high school. We should cover up all the walls. Wait, is this place bud? Oh, God, and I'm gonna fly into the air. My wings are flapping, glitter spraying everywhere. As soon as you do a bunch of cockroaches.

Yeah. Oh, no, dear the odds! Why'd you're wearing a wire? Oh, no, it's the feds. My shotgun! Just my pocket, I pull out of a sawed-off shotgun, and I shoot one of the cockroaches. Um, I rolled a hit.

Oh, pretty good. Plus, whatever my hit is. Does a 14-3rd. plus some hit? It uses shield and then disappears into a hole. Hold on, hold on. Wait a minute then, all right, all right. Let's see, let's see.

Does a- Classic Feds. Does a 21 hit? Even with shield, you hit. God. I killed it, Dino. I got it. That's one of the bugs out of here. Hopefully the rest don't take back

any of the juicy deets we've been talking about. You know, Yeah, boss You know what I hate What do you hate, boss? About cockroaches and the feds. What? One.

Everything. Is a disease-ridden, disgusting, slimy, scaly, useless, A piece of vermin And the other is an insect. Which one's the insect, boss? I'm saying I don't like the feds. Yeah, I don't like the fed Zy, the boss. Anyways, I think we debug the place.

I'm sure all they heard was our very charming conversation about nicknamed and beverages. Feeling confident that you're finally alone to discuss the mission at hand. Oh, and that's why they call me the bang. Oh, because you banged all those cockroaches? No, because of the noise I make when my explosives go off. Bang! Oh, yeah, no, I guess we're very on the nose in this team. they call you the

carrot of... They just call her mom. Oh. Is that why all those guys in prison have your name tattooed on them? Nice. Oh, I guess that actually applies a lot of them very uncomfortable things.

I apologize. No, Chino, I think those people in prison have mom tattoo because they're talking about their own moms. Oh. You know, because I had fur. I do have tattoos, but I just, you know, they would buzz me,

tattoos and but you can't see him. What's the point if you never see it? I had to join the secret clubs. I was they were gonna shank me. Do you know long I was in there, Knuckles? And you still cut the deli the whole time? Yeah, of course. My sister Gina ran it while I was in the state penitentiary.

She had, she owed me after living in all the air ducts for so long. That's why the fan doesn't work. That's why it's so hot in here, fucking Gina. She climbed it all up with it, and then things right to the hair. So what's the plan until Lady Greaves comes back and talks to us about what we're going to go be doing? Well, as we all learned. Oh, can I mention something before you get on with this?

Because it's something that peeves me a little bit. Yeah, yeah. So we went on that heist, you know? Uh-huh. And we were told we were going to give 5,000 gold apiece. Mm-hmm. And then we didn't get anything from it. Oh, that's right.

I feel like we got a little swindled. But she promised that is gig This is going to Yeah, I know, but like And I do have all of the details You do? Yeah, but What the fuck are we waiting for?

We was promised the first time that we was going to make some money And it didn't happen. I have to agree, I didn't like that. So why are we believing in the second time that it's going to happen? Well, because she's dead. Are we stupid?

Are we just gullible? Or we both? To be fair, that's when I thought That this was even going to be harder, she said. The name of our contact was Mr. Y. No, it was Mr. E. No, I was saying Mr. Y and the knuckled him up with something that was a lot more clever, and I felt very sore about it.

When I'm confused, was his name actually Mr. Wye? I was calling him Mr. Y, but Mr. Y ended up to be Miss Lady. What? Miss Lady Graves was Mr. Y the whole time. Yeah, and so she didn't pay us for the first time. So why do we think she's going to pay us for the second one? Because. She said when I met with her and had a very special in a taping of leperty,

we sat down next each other. Oh, did anyone win in that taping of leopty? No, they were no winning. Oh, God, it must have been a really bloody one then. Oh, yeah, I still hear the screen. The leopards kind of won. Oh, no, yeah, I guess that's right. The leopards had a very nice meal for all those, for the feds that might still be with,

listening. Oh, our federal agent, Steve. Oh, yeah, Steve. You know, I don't know if you caught the last night's leopardy. Which is a Galtican game show where if you lose, you get devoured by leopards. That is now a thing. But otherwise, you're asking trivia questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's trivia questions, but it's just the prize is not being eaten. What's the difference between these two rocks? Not being eaten by leopard. What's behind doing number three of all weapons? And so everyone in the audience has cause, I'm sorry, so the feds have context. A fabulous lack of leopards! I'm not talking about less. We ran a leopards without going over.

We ran a prologue session, and in that session they pulled off a heist on a bank and learned that the owner of the bank had set them up, had effectively put out rumors, feelers in order to attract a heist crew, to capture an artifact. that turned out to effectively just be a tracking device. And so they didn't get the payoff, 25,000 gold pieces that they thought, promised by this mysterious Mr. E. But they were able to meet with Lady Grease who promised them a better, bigger job. And Gino was the only person as head of the crew

who met with her and has all the details of this crew of this new heist or job or opportunity, and at some point might share them. Yeah, so anyway, my point is this. We didn't get what we was promised from the first heist. So why do we even think for a second that this more difficult or in harder heist we're going to get anything from it? Let me, Glissy, you've been a great crew member this whole time.

Thank you so much, boss. You know, I value. You are all valuable. We do not leave any man or woman behind. Well, except for Billy May who got caught by the feds and she's now in the state penitentiary. We're not going to break her out. happened I thought she was I thought she was selected for the newest episode of leperty oh no no she's with she's in prison oh and we're not gonna do a prison break to break

around that's that's not it's not a prison break adventure it's a height adventure that's what it says on the overlay what's an overlay boss the feds as gino if you see gino's site he's uh living in um gino's site what is oh my god what is that movie where it's all it's all the guy on TV. It's like one guy in his life. The Truman Show? The Truman Show. I can't believe I'm fucking Yeah, it's a Truman show in his mind. Let me put you at ease. May,

May Billy May, rest in prison, rip, rest in prison. She's doing a lot of cool tattoos. You know, I honestly think she'll like it there. Yeah, I think so. I think she'll be fine. I think she'll get out on good behavior pretty soon. No. She could use the structure. Oh yeah, and that's pretty nice. Yeah, no. Prison did some wonders for my routines.

You know, they say that if you're going to tell us what's going to go on with this heist. And I don't know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So I'll put you at east. So she gave me all the details of a heist in thieves camp. So no one else around this can understand what you're talking about. Are you going to recite it to us in thieves camp first and then tell it to us like you all wasted?

No, it started with. She sat down and she said, I'll have the number eighth with no onions. I said you want that on a raft? She said, no, thank you, but I'd like an animal style. We went back and forth like that for. 45 minutes. You know, none of us understand what the fuck you say.

That's because you're not proper thieves. And that's why I'm the mastermind. You're the muscle. Every time you're telling us something, why do you always stop by telling us what you said in thieves game when we don't know that? I'm so sorry.

I'm getting into sense. I'm trying to teach you guys how to be master thieves. And I'm like waving around this map, this rolled up document. So anyway, afterwards, she got, and I'll tell you the details at this. But to put your mind at ease, he said,

now, Gino, I know I double cross you last. time this time I promise pinky promise where I won't betray you and double cross you and you'll get all the goal I was convinced well I mean that she said that that she said that I mean that doesn't mean anything boss I know I bought it no you know what they say they say fool me once shame on her fool us twice we break kneecaps and ransomer to a family that seems like a reasonable outcome if it does happen a girl probably worth a lot more than what she was gonna pay us for but it's next to us.

Her me-tops? No, to arrange them from a family, I mean. I mean, you're assuming a family even wants it back. You don't know. She owns a lot of banks. There's somebody's going to. And she's the kind of person that's going to go back on a deals all the time.

Maybe she doesn't have anyone in a life she can trust. I mean, come on. She had to put on a fake heist just to find people to do a dirty work. And she named her bank's virtue banking. I guess it's a little Doth protest too much, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And all we know is an issue. name Lady Greaves. Miss Lady Greaves. Is it Miss Lady Greaves? I was calling a, yeah, Miss Lady Greaves. Is it first name Lady? That was more questions. I think so.

Anyways, would I make you all feel better if I told you how much this job is? She said, I promise I will give you 100,000 gong pieces. That's a lot of gold. Do you know how much electrum that is? I don't. It's a genuine question. 0.5.

500,000? How many gold pieces go into one electron piece? I don't know, that's my man. Oh, no. I think it's 500,000. It's 500,000 election piece. Are you sure? Isn't an electron bigger than, oh, is it platinum that's bigger?

Yeah, platinum's bigger. How many copper pieces go into one election piece? I don't really deal with copper. pieces shinier than gold pieces? No. A silver piece is shinier than electron pieces? It depends on the mint. A copper piece is shinier than

electric pieces. Depends on the mint. Like, depends on the setting. A platinum pieces shinier than election pieces. I would think platinum probably. We'll make sure you get paid. But I'm going to make sure that I have the same amount of coins as I would be getting with the electron, but that they're shinier, you see?

Well, she does have a bank. I bet she can get us the shiniest newest coins. I think, yeah, we can get freshly minted coins. Unmarked. Unchewart. And, you know, this is genuine. And so here's what it is. This is genuine gold pieces.

It's not Fiat currency. This is the good stuff. You give Fiat currency in Deltaica? There's some banks that will try to tell you that. There's some books that knew that. I had a friend once who drove a fee. You know what that stands for, right? No, I don't.

Pick it again, Tony. My brother Tony will fix it. That's not what I thought. Thanks, boom. I don't have one, though, so. That is the Dale Gribble's first joke in King of the Hell. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's hilarious. Yeah. Anyway, we're going to heath a museum. What are we going to get in a museum? We need to get a skull. A le beheldon. A full skeleton. I said, big boy, hold on.

Are you huge? No, the score. I was the teaser before the full course. I was going to say, and then we need to get the spine. And then we need to get the rib case. We gotta get the full skeleton. And then there's gonna be an owl who's gonna say, this is great for my museum.

Here you go. Thank you. There's a lot of animal folks here. And we're in little Philadelphia, you know. The roost, this is not too full. How on earth are we going to transport an entire skeleton? Yeah, and did, uh, Miss Lady Greaves? Did she give us like a full print out of exactly what the skeleton looks like,

exactly how many bones there are and where they all go? Because I can tell you once, when I was in school, I had to put together the bones that I found inside of an owl pellet, and if you don't have some kind of like structure for it, you can easily fail that assignment. There are so many tiny little bones in a phalanche, I am not kidding when I say we will not get them all if we do not have the proper like blueprint or something

You see it like a checklist of like fema, tibia But what if it's already? Fetula. We'll have to take it completely apart. Yeah, and then what if we can't put it all back together? What if we accidentally leave a piece there? Well, God forbid what if I throw a bomb and blow the whole thing up and it's going to be dynastomime?

I've already accounted for all of this. Have you ever heard my interpretation of a Tyrannosaurus wreck? You mean the Bahia? It's kind of like a dinosaur-ass creature. dragon-esque. What does it look like, well? It is a very large creature, and you think it might be draconic,

but it is the monstrosity. All right. It is kind of like a very long, very large snake, but it's like, you know what? I'm a snake, and I want some legs and two little hands. Just two little hands.

We just got four legs and two hands or two legs? I've got a 12 legs. It's got a bunch of legs. Twelve legs. Hold on. So you're saying that it has. 12 legs but only two hands. It's kind of like it does that. It's like a little raccoon than cotton candy.

Or do those legs end in just nothing? You know, I never was good in biology class. This is why we need some kind of blueprint, boss, because we're not going to be able to be able to be able to get a blueprint. Oh my God, boss. Do you have a blueprint of how to put the skeleton back together again or all the pieces we need to collect? We're going to take it out in one chunk. How are they going to take it out in one chunk?

I've already accounted for that. Tell us, boss. We're going to make it really small and put it in a case. That was my first idea. How are we going to make it really small and put it in a case, boss? You ever shaking an idea?

Well, hold on, let's figure out from boss here how we're going to accomplish this first. Well, they also had electric breath, so maybe we could ride the lightning out of there. Isn't this one dead, though, boss? Like, it's just a skeleton? Well, this one's been dead for, yeah, no, hundreds of years, perhaps thousands. So how are we going to write it's lightning breath?

How did they ever be. It might be some sort of lightning sack in its bones. I don't know. It really doesn't seem like you know much about this. No, I was told everything by Miss Lady, okay? Okay, Ola? Who's the boss around here? Who has the connections to the organized mom here?

Changing your class from mastermind to just mind. No, I am telling you. And so, no, this is my idea. So I said, wait, aren't they going? gonna be gods. I said, this is gonna be a night at the museum. Isn't Ben Stiller gonna be there and try to stop us? Who's Ben Stiller, boss? This guy who came into the deli and he just, you know. Is he the guy that asked if he could milk cats? Yeah, and you know, whenever he walked in, I'm like, do you really need a six-inch platform shoes? Is that really necessary?

He couldn't turn left. Oh, really? Yeah. Anyways, they were gonna do it during a gala. A gala. A masquerade. A masquerade. It's a gala. They have gala. It's a mass grail. It's a mass grail. It's a mass. It could be a masquerade. I mean, it's a museum. It's got to be a gala. I mean, it's classic heifed fair.

A gala sort of implies there's a fundraising element. I would say a mass praise is fun basis. Oh, is it for fun? Well, it's a way that the masquerade ball. Well, you know, it's a fundraising, not necessarily a fund. That 5,000 gold would be very helpful for us getting outfits and potentially buying a table of this gala. Yes, and so there's a lot of guards. But we'll be in the masquerade. They'll be outside and we'll be inside already.

Are we going to get into the masquerade? We're going to forge credentials. How are we going to pay to forge those credentials? We can't even afford to fix that deriard. I am a master for, I am a special. and forgeries and I'm a master of the sky. Oh, right. We forgot. Do you forget this?

Yeah, boss, I forgot. I'm sorry. There was a time I went undercover for an entire week as a grizzly bear. Do you know how impressive that is? I mean, the massage difference. That's what I'm saying. I'm five foot two inches. It's pretty, it's pretty impressive. We won't need you for another hour or two of them. I'm five foot two inches.

You understand that? I mean, I'm 5 foot 4 inches. That's on my dating profile in the personal. Oh, on bare folk singles? Yeah. Oh, she didn't bookwalk in your documentary. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bear folk owner.

No, growler. Yeah, go growl. No, I don't have growler. No, no, no, you didn't see that. No, I don't have growler. Why would I have growler? No, absolutely not. Anyway, and I'm going to put it down.

This is the music. him right here okay okay oh can you grab the massive yeah the queen with or without the camera with the camera I'm gonna get a cocky yeah yeah we're gonna so I'm gonna and I think that probably once my mind comes back to me once I have another geeled fashion I'll know with things on right now it just looks a little blank

and it seems blank but it's because all of the features that are up here in my mastermind you understand You understand? Orla, I see that look on your face. You're saying, I'm doubting Gino. Gino, Gino, how long have I known? I mean, Orla, Orla, how long have I known you? Many years. Many years, decades.

I've seen all your kids. How's Mary Ann doing? Oh, is it not Mary Ann? How's Mary Jane doing? Uh, we'll say, age link's great. How, how is, uh, B, C, B, F, D, F, D, F. How is the Little Merry Christmas doing? Is she all right?

She's doing good? As best as can be expected. Okay, I'm glad, I'm glad. You labeled free rooms on this entire map and it's lobby, men's toilet, and women's toilet. What is this? No, this is what Miss Lady gave me, and it's all, all the details are all opinion, you understand.

You couldn't very well walk around with the map with all of our plans on them, could he? Yeah, I don't want to say, oh, the secret plan. Your plan don't lose you. Well, I'm saying, what if, what if, what if I get money? What if I get mugged? You normally get mugged?

All the time. Little Philibati has really gone down. I get mugged like once a month. I'm sorry. I mean, it's dangerous. You're an old man. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm such an easy target.

I'm a five foot two old man. I'm closing up and I always leave my meat hook and my, once they, it's like they know when I forget my meat hook and my meat hook my meat hook and my butchers cleaver at the shop. The shop downstairs on the same building here? The fur covers up the, yeah. Do you get mugged on the way upstairs? Okay, it's my bookie, okay?

Okay, it's not some just normal thuggy. It is my bookie. I've not been able to pay him for a little bit. It's not the reason for the dice. It's not the reason. Because of the health care regulations mean it a lot more expensive to operate my daily in time stuff, okay? Not because of my gambling habit.

Are you sure that you didn't get our 5,000 gold? I'm entirely certain. If I had gotten that 5,000 gold, I would have marched down straight to the state penitentiary and said you get my friend Billy May Cooper. Out of here, I'm... This is bail. And you know that he didn't do that because the day after we went on that he

went down to the horse races all day. What? What are you talking about? You specifically told me you were like, hey, Glitzy, can you keep an eye on things around here? I got to go down to the horse race all day. No, I was at the Displace of Beast track. Oh. Way better.

Way better on. Oh, I'm sorry. Horses? Are he serious? I thought you were more like a slot machine, gosh. Well, I mean, I prefer the sloths, but when I get a little. bit of coin. I'm going to be a little spicy. I like to dress up a little bit and go to the track. It's like a ritual. You know, they say that rituals are good. Not that I had any money after our

heist. After Miss ladies, like, sorry, there's no money. Anyways, we have to go to the monstrosity exhibit at the Great Galterkin Museum. And they, and while this gala, or the masquerade ball is going on, all the guards are going to be on the outside. They're not going to think, gosh, one of the rich people is going to bother going in and trying to steal a whole skeleton. You don't think a single god's going to be inside the museum at the time? Not a single one. I think that is a miscalculating.

I mean, it's a good point. I mean, who would want to steal? No, curious. No, curiously. No one patrolled at night. It's very curious. Probably nothing, that probably does not imply anything bad for going to happen. It takes about 20 minutes for you to finally get the correct interpretation from Gino,

but Miss Lady Greaves, Miss Lady Greaves, had indicated to Gino that there are perimeter patrols and that there are many guards on the exterior of this museum. But curiously, certainly, that's what I just said. Curiously, the interior of the museum does not have, like, humanized people with flashlights, and shotguns. You know, because those are all...

I also want to say that it says gala right here in my brain. It says gala. I meant to write masquerade. Oh, well, I mean, Matt, gala's very fitting for a museum. It's a party. It's definitely for some charity, but primarily just the nobles. And I'll also give you some additional historical context, which is to say, unlike modern museums, like today in the real world,

where the general populace can go and experience cultures of different varieties and this sort of thing. Back in the day, museums were where rich people kept their abundance of things. And so you can't just buy a ticket unless it's like a holiday or a festival or a fair day or something specific to Goltega where they would specifically open up to the populace of that this great amount of wealth could be displayed. No, these are for the nobles to show off to each other, to visiting dignitaries, to that sort of thing. And so this isn't like the Smithsonian where you all have like come and gone frequently from your life.

You may never have even seen the exterior aside from the perimeter walls if you've ever been to this wealthier neighborhood or borough within Galtica. And I would accelerate and move us into the week before the masquerade. I'm so sorry that we're going to have to end this scene. But you can ask me any questions that you want that you would have put to Gino before we continue in this direction. We're going to have to cross the many corridors to get to the monster exhibit. Oh, yes. This is an important detail. If the masquerade is at the front of the museum,

you'll need to find your way through that, navigate that situation however you plan to over the next week, and then you will have to find a way into the museum. You will have to navigate through the different exhibits and then eventually find the monsters exhibit, which is where, you know, if you've ever been to the... like natural history museum. They have those like giant whale skeletons hanging from,

this is a picture in your mind, a huge stages of the right word, platform, upon which a skeleton that is of a hero, a 12-legged, giant serpentine, dragon-scaled, huge creature, the skeleton of which has been reassembled here and is looking in its like nightmare proportions to create the sense of what it would have been like

to be in front of this wonderful and majestic monster. Sorry to interrupt. Please continue. That's the best part of being the mastermind is the DM can just tell me. Yeah, yeah, I can just take over. Drive how you like, but in the next few minutes we're going to suddenly find ourselves in the masquerade. So we need to have great disguises and alter egos, aliases. You need to play them very convincingly.

We need to be rich people. We're rich people that's fun. Remember, your can't. Characters have to be rich people that are giving funds to a charity that is certainly not a money laundering scheme where they are on the board and collect bonuses. It's all the good stuff. Oh, like in the operating costs, you know. The operating, the overhand is so much. Oh, no.

But it's here for charity. It's for good reason. So anyways. So what's my alter ego? Am I the mastermind? Come up with it on your own? I actually, exactly right. Oh, I've never been rich.

Okay, no, you, okay, Knuckles, you're going to be... And that's where we'll cut this scene. Code. Make a decision in your mind. I want you to think about what you're going to be as you are carried along in what you have secured a carriage that is fit for a noble. And it is the night of the heist. You have spent a week planning this going over every single detail,

talking through what could possibly happen, going in, asking for favors from your connections, asking for crafting, whatever you think you might need, anticipating this night because you have this night and this night only to take advantage of this opportunity that Miss Lady Greaves has put in front of you. For having participated, you each enjoy one twist of foresight. Oh, woo, perfect.

Thank you. Twist of foresight. Oh, we got a special. Special de blooms. You're gonna quickly in your voice, explain what that is. Go, yeah. Use it just for the- Yeah, yeah. Now I'm gonna pick my own.

The twist of foresight for the feds who are listening in on this caper is player fiat. We mentioned the word fiat a little bit earlier. I am giving our crew a tremendous amount of freedom when it comes to when they want to spend this singular resource. They have one to spend to start a given heist, but obviously, you can benefit them in this way. Spending a twist of foresight is going to trigger a flashback. Effectively, if there is some problem or situation or encounter,

and the player says to themselves, gosh, my character would have anticipated this and solve this problem in some extravagant or magical or specific or sneaky or clever way, they can describe that solution. They can say, okay, we're about to be burned to live, by a trap of lava pouring into this room, but I have anti-lava magic.

I forgot to mention the lava. Good thing I have this ring of lava breathing. I got it from a Guy in Agway. They might have a contraption that suddenly plugs up the holes within which the lava is coming, and it'll immediately freeze the lava and stop it from flowing anymore, some sort of freeze weapon or solution.

or solution. In that situation, they don't just immediately get granted it. We will go to a flashback and we'll describe the scene, the drama of how they were able to anticipate this move, and then we will progress for them succeeding. It's almost like an auto-natch 20. Unless it's a full-on wish to become a God, I'm granting my players an enormous amount of freedom with this twist,

and we will see how they spend them. All I've done here is come up with a tremendous number of problems, and I have no idea how they're going to survive. So let's find out if they do. Does anyone have any, was that a fair overview of what we understand the truth of the twists of foresight to be? Yeah, absolutely right. Four or five, six days from the time of planning you've had to get your shit together and having gone through the motions, having communicated with the sending stones that I will remind you are also on your person, your ability to convey information to each other

almost in a radio-like manner. You feel confident the job will go as planned and without a hitch. You are being taken now. You can feel the cobblestone underneath the carriage as you're being moved and navigated in a long line of these elaborately decadowing. decorated carriages. And the four of you stare at each other's faces, knowing the seriousness and precision

that will be required in order to execute this tremendously dangerous caper. The museum exterior is stone, huge columns, arched windows, domed tops across the top, and illuminated by some arcane blue light. beautiful against the almost like the how you imagine beam of light going through the surface of clear water would appear

but splashed up against the surface of this beautifully crafted stonework you're carried many many feet until you get around to the front courtyard effectively right at the base of the stairs looking up at these great columns before you exit the carriage

and continue your way into the masquerade. I would ask each of you to describe how you've dressed for the occasion. Are you going to sneak into this situation and not aroused suspicion among the minds of the noble? More specifically, you've learned in that week of preparation that not only is it going to be obviously extravagant in your dress, in your outfit, but that the nature of the mask is somewhat themed.

The theater, celebrating. the many stories told across the many districts of Galtica, celebrating the actors, the writers, the musicians, and of course, the audience who patronized these wonderful spots. Going mad with this theme, you can already spy some of the nobles out there, one of them wearing a very Phantom of the Opera-esque, for example, these kinds of ideas. Whoever wants to jump in may do so. I will look around.

I'll say, you know, they say that people are disarmed by cute thing. It's why children are cute. Animal pets are cute. That's why I went with a cute pig. And you will see it as a horrifying

pig mask. It looks like a dead hog. And I'm all just like red and pink and I got like a big collar. If you've seen a King of the Hill Halloween episode with the guy who is the butcher, it's basically that. And it's like very unsettling

uncanny valley. And I will say I am decided to portray the great the great children's character. Thumb Pig from Harlot's Web.

It's really convincing, Bob. I don't know why they, and the Harlot is in Etta Cap. It's not a spider that makes it Dungeons and Dragons themed. What's Dungeons and Dragons, boss? What I'm saying is that anyway, for Harlot's Webb, it's actually a, it's actually not, it's not a children's character. It's like a burlesque show.

Yeah, Hollywood. Yeah, I was going to say, I think that's... It's an adult burlesque musical featuring the main protagonist is some pig. So are you like a slutty pig? I mean, it's not Halloween. That way you're wearing a thong? He's pulled an outfit out of your fucking closet. He's got a bacon thong.

Oh, no, that's just what I had lying around. Anyways, my name, I am the great, rich, noble, Mort. Mort A. Della. You may call me Lord Della. And I am a great, I needed to make it completely opposite, so no one would suspect it's meat. So I am a magnate of meat alternatives. I'm not eating other things besides meat.

I'm a soybean farmer. More adela. No one will know that it's no. Looking away from this mask as quickly as you can, you stare into each other's eyes and you see what kinds of outfits? I think I would have Orla, wear rabbit ears but then disguised herself as another rodent like creature. So if anybody like made me and was like, I think it was the rabbit who stole the thing.

They'd be like, idiot. It was a masquerade. Oh. There were people like doing, so I'm pretending to be a chip bug. Is it a double bluff? Yeah. I see. Yeah.

I see. And it's convenient because the little rabbit ears that I have are hiding my actual rabbit ears. If someone were to ask, do you have a theatrical inspiration for this outfit or is it chiefly that, you have shown up looking your best. I haven't gotten out much recently, raising the children all. So I think I'm going to go for a Jessica Rabbit feel. I'm going to, I'm going to sex it up. Okay.

We're wearing a beautiful glittering, sparkling red gown, let's say. My eyeballs pop out of my mask. It's just the front nose holes of the mother. Oh, yeah. I think it's stuck in the snort. They droop out. Knuckles, how have you dressed this evening? I would have a

I would be wearing a nice probably just like a tuxedo you know I would think I haven't you know I've earned and spent all my money immediately and so I've never been rich and so I'm trying to go for a nouveau rich new rich style kind of new money vibe

and so I'm just going to wear a classic black tuxedo, you know, two tails on the coat. And I think for my mask, I will go with a bird mask because birds and have historical, bird folk have a historical, a good relationship with rhino folk. So I'm going for sort of like, I don't know, what are they, like, like fitches or something? I don't know. But anyway. You love to like land on your back so you can fly it. Yeah, yeah. You know.

What's your, one of those birds? What's your theatrical inspiration? What do you mean? The theatrical inspiration. Like what play is your character from? D. Are they supposed to be based on plays? Yeah, that was the whole theme.

I literally spent an hour during our conversation after eight yield fashions describing to you the theme of this gala. It has to be from a plate. Sazu from the lion's... That's what Abby said. It's a hornbill. Oh. From, you know, the Hamlet King.

Oh, the Hamlet King. It's been done a little bit. It's been done a number of times. But I think that's fine. I think the... I think it's lovely... The long bill is very unique. No one's going to do that.

I like it. Good job, Knuckles. Four thank you. Well. That's all of us. I can't believe we got through an entire tux description without a cumberbund joke. Nice.

I'm disappointed everyone. Oh, you got to have a late purple cummer bun. That's the only one. Glitzy. Glitzy is flying. She's not sitting. And she's in a beautiful blue ball gown. She looks very much like Glinda from the Wizard of Oz.

But she's going as the fairy godmother. Okay. She's got a little wand and brains glitter. Pixie dust. And with a lurch, the carriage, comes to a stop and you are escorted out by one of the many white tuxedoed or white dressed, for like a better word, servants who are already, you can see racing around from table to table, seeing the crowd of nobles here, all starting to mingle and talk with trays of cocktails,

many different hors d'oeuvres, these sorts of things, and you are struck by, what is a surprisingly cool summer night, the air blowing across the hill, looking out over the surface of a ventras and out towards the sea from this perched point that the Galtican Museum has been built upon. What do you do? Well, does I, Lord Della, of the soybean family, not related to the great Bayer-crime family of Gulligda? Take me and my companions to, uh, to the party. We'd like some fancy drinks what rich people drink. And what you've noticed is that catering has been situated directly in between the two columns at the entrance of this area. In fact, I can point it out on the map. So the front park area here

would be where the actual outdoor masquerade is being held. And inside this center column area, There are tables with all kinds of extremely delicious looking meats and vegetables and fruits and prepared dishes. At the back is what appears to be an obvious cocktail bar and open bar. And even on either side, you can see at the front of this museum, there's passage for men and women. Should they need to use the lavatory? Is there a band playing? Oh, very much. And you can see that an area has been set up.

stage of sorts for people who want to enjoy to shake a leg. They move back and forth between slow, romantic pieces and sort of like a big band vibe when they're ready to get everyone riled up and try to attract additional dancers, that sort of thing. At this point, they're moving a little bit more slowly, and you can feel that people have just finished a good big dance before and are remingling, starting to find their new clicks, or introduce them to people they've not yet met in this wealthy echelon. I'm going to look around as we enter, and I will look at Orla, and I'll say,

if anyone tries to talk to us, O'la, you handle it. If anyone tries to talk too much, and O'Lah's like, here's the signal, you punch him in the faith. And if there's a lot of... All I need to go back forward. And then if there's a little too many guys, then,

Clistee, you blow them up. But there's no death. Oh, by the way, that is, you know, I know I should have mentioned this. I'm the mastermind. I know that it's the beginning of the heist, and this is the most important detail. I may have forgot to mention.

No deaths. We can't kill nobody. Or else. That makes sense. It's professional. Or else the reward gives to 25,000 gold pieces. And I cannot pay my bookie. I mean, I cannot leverage that capital to a bigger height with 25,000 gold be in the end of it.

It would have been nice to know that in a month? Yeah, yeah, no, I, no, I mean... Am I supposed to utilize all of my tools if I can't explode someone? No, you can explode things instead of people. That's not nearly as fun. No, she said the museum needs to stay mostly intact, mostly, and that we can lawyer that. Did she say that the people need to be mostly alive? No, she said no, that's. That was very clear. And she's like, in the museum, Gino,

needs to say mostly intact. I'm like, okay, not fully intact. And I'm like, can I get it mostly? We negotiated a little bit. Except that was like, you're going to want to try the pastramian rye. I just got a new shipment in from South down, down at the borough. Oh, no, that's my thieves can. Anyway, why are you telling us about your thieves cans again? Well, you know, I just, I feel like I want to share something that I can do that nobody else can. It makes me feel like I'm youthful. Can we get in with this fucking house? Anyway, let's go.

Let us away. And while we walk in, I would like to look around to see if things go wrong areas where I would be able to climb. That would be, I am a bear what climbs. And that's how I got my start in the crime family that I joined. Everyone make a perception check. And you make a specific perception check about it. that. Okay. I perceive nothing. My first dice roll of the evening. That's right. 12. Ooh. Perception. 19. 19. For climbing. 19 for climbing? Yeah. Yeah, they quarter the,

they quarter the job if we kill anybody. You go with you? Not. No, I failed. Okay, you failed. Um, you all look at the crowd and are dazzled by the wealth on display. Uh, as, as masks figures, uh, of various creatures walk back and forth, some laughing and talking, others dancing. You don't pick out anything that you immediately recognize, aside from the features that you've seen before, and you start to walk into that crowd, realizing you guys are gonna have to find the way through this

and get to an entrance, a way into the museum where you can shed these costumes and get to work. But before you can get to that entrance, Gino, you are looking at you looking at the face of this and you don't see even with the 19 very many opportunities for purchase. This is a smooth stonework, a column. How hard would it be to grab onto a classic column and try to work your way up? There are definitely like ridges, these big massive bricks from some quarry that you might be able to make your way up in.

but as soon as you get up to the roof, the ceiling of this, there's a very large ridge that juts out. You'll be without a grappling hook or some obvious tool of climbing, you wouldn't just be able to do it with your claws and feet. All right. Good to know. Are we still alive? Yeah. I just saw that disappear.

Okay, cool. And as you were walking through, you suddenly hear a voice. Ah, you've been able to make it to the party. Welcome, welcome. And you turn and you see behind a butterfly mask, a very elaborate and or neat butterfly mask. You can see the parted dual color, duotone hair of Lady Miss Greaves, who's attending this very same gala. Hello, yes, we've not met. What are your names?

Hello, I am Lady Miss Greaves. Lady Greaves, can I perhaps order a drink for you? How are you doing? She makes a big show of it. Oh, it is me, your acquaintance who's not from Gothica, Mord A Della, Lord Della they call me in the soybean business. It is a pleasure to meet you. You've heard of Della. Oh, you have very fine.

I almost lean forward to kiss Dary's hand and I thought, you know what, I'm not going to go that hard on the B.R.P. Yeah, I will lean forward and I will say, oh, the fine lady, and I'm bull up my horrible being mad. And like, you know, I got like a big, like, bear tongue. So it's very wet. She pulls her hand back gingerly and then gives it a bit of a wipe down. And you are? I'm Jessica.

It's a pleasure to meet you. Jessica, pleasure, a pleasure. Unusual. How unusual and beautiful fairy. Yeah, my name's Cordelia Delia. Cordelia, Delia. Lady Delia. Princess Delia.

Princess Delia. Yeah, of the court court and the Faywild. I see. Well, it is an honor to have royalty in our presence. The courty court. The Cordelian court. We're actually distantly related with distant cousins. So the Delian name came through to a ventress,

and Schmelis Island, they kind of said, Delia, I'm not pronouncing that, you're Della. I understand that can happen. It's a similar name. Yeah, they're from the West Coast Delias. Yeah. She's starting to look around. round. She has approached the four of you.

No, but is she, like, coming to us with anybody with her? She has approached the four of you alone, and she doesn't seem to be bringing guests or introducing you to someone. She seems to be acting like she's that socially aware that she would be able to introduce herself to people just for the purposes of introduction, and seeing the four of you alone has chosen to do so is how it appears she is playing it. And you are? Oh, I'm Hans. Mr. Hans.

I was going to call you Mr. Nies. Mr. Blue J. You could call me Jayhans or Blue J-Hadz. It's a bit of a nickname for college. Mr. Hans, it is. Thank you. Yes. Is everything on?

You don't want to see what this guy did the Blue Jays of his hands. She leans in. Are we all set for tonight? Everything. Everything. I've been telling him for a week, Miss Laney, that does no death, so don't worry about it. It's very immigrated. They better not be.

No. I wanted to make that point specifically clear. We'll take this professional. Oh, it's very professional. No, the only reason why we had to kill people and blow things up is because we had a less professional. She was a newcomer. We were pitying her. We give her a pity job.

She's in prison now, so you don't have to worry about her redoubt. Yeah, exactly. It was all her. It was none of us. Well, that is very much a relief, and I did have a little bird to tell me that information, so thank you for confirming. You mean, Mr. Hands? We've been seeing what I've done.

Things I've done with his hands. Anyways, it's a pleasure. Are there drinks? Let's go find ourselves a drink, and then I'm going to have to continue to mingle. I had a question for you, if you don't mind, a question from Cordelia Dilia of the Cordelia Summer Court court thing or whatever? Yes, Lord Lady Delio. Yes, what is it?

As long as they're mostly alive? Yes. I just wanted to make sure on the wording. I should have tried to get that in the initial agreement. No one ends up underground, understand. Well, what if we need to go in through the sewers? In the... Let's go have some champagne.

All right. Can we end up going through the sewer? Six feet under. Oh, the sewer's a six feet under. Oh, no. I think that went very well. I think she wants us to follow her, though. In a box or in the box.

She wants us to follow her in a box? Oh, no, sleeping with the fish out as a querain. Ah, you know. Oh, Miss Lady, we'll follow you with your entourage. The five of you walk up the stairs, passing between these two huge columns, and making your way up to what clearly has entrances to either side but are currently guarded by two guards on either side.

Servants are making their way back and forth and can clearly pass back and forth, but it's evident that it would not be for the nobles to go back there. That's where the help works, right? You make your way... There aren't going to be any cards in here. In the museum. This is still the exterior. Okay.

This is still the exterior. And it's like an open... It's like that open air front of a museum where there are still columns, but there's... Exactly right, exactly right. And at the end of that entrance is where you can see a few bartenders, handing out champagne, that sort of thing. Lady Greaves grabs herself a champagne, says, it was a pleasure to meet you all.

I will happily, you know, call on me in Galtica, should you ever be interested in a brighter banking future. Thank you, yes. And bring the banking future that sounds not ominous. Thank you very much, Ms. Lady. She turns and leaves the four of you to order drinks to do what you want. There are two gentlemen. One is dressed up like a wolf and the other dressed up like a lion,

and they're howling with laughter, almost hugging each other, clearly already intoxicated, even though the night is young. What are you all doing? Oh, happy. Whatever you got, It's strong in brown plates. Pans you what is clearly a rye of some kind of mixed drink. Hold down in one goal.

Thanks. I'll have another. I'll have a carotini. Oh, we are rich people. What a rich people drink? Do you think was I a good rich person back then? When I said goodbye to Miss Laney? Goodbye. You're handed a beautiful martini glass with the most vibrant orange martini carotini you've ever seen.

What is the richest the drink you have? My good man. Oh, incredible. Look at that form. It's clearly been using his shakeouts. Golly. Oh, my goodness. This is so much easier when you're miming.

This... What is this? It looks like slowing silver. It's effervescent. It sparkles and pops. Just above it, like a cloud of almost magical energy. It seems to shimmer and shine. And when you hold it, you expect it to be hot from the look of it.

It looks like molten metal almost. And when you touch it, it's cool to the touch, beautifully pristine. The wordless servant has delivered their most difficult to execute and most expensive of the beverages. And then... What is this called? That'll be 100 gold pieces. Are you trying to tell me?

I heard this is an open bar. This is not an open bar? You asked for the most expensive item. I said the richest. So maybe, maybe some egg white. This is a year. unicorn. It's a very it requires, I have

alcohol ingredients, magical ingredients. So, I would never eat at an establishment like gazpacho. Oh no, gazpacho doesn't exist yet in this timeline. I would never... What's wrong with gazpachos? Oh no, there's one. Yeah, no, the ivory... There's the one location

at the ivory Italian restaurant. I would net... No, I wouldn't... You would also never eat there. That's where poor people eat. Sir, sir, please don't get upset. Please, I know that you said rich. Isn't it's like the endless breadsticks and thallet? You did say richest and my mind went. Yeah.

I enjoyed this one on the house. My sincere apologies. What's your name? Lorne. Lorne. Is it gonna come out of your paycheck? Or maybe you should pay better at that you next time, Laura. And that's your tip.

Yeah, that's how you act like a rich person. Yeah. And then I'll take this. drink and I'll just put it to, I'll put it to my snout. It tastes like shit, I'll have a ye old fashioned. You turn and the servant you were speaking to is about faced and immediately gone through the double doors. You can hear a quiet sob as he disappears and he's immediately

replaced by another servant. A yield fashion, sir, yes of course, run away. And you have a yield, yeole. It's disgusting. It tasted very sweet. Sweet. Overely sweet. You're rich people drink? Oh, say, a good old fashioned, ye old fashion. You can't beat it.

Does Glitzy imbibe? Do you happen to have a glass of lukewarm milk? Not lukewarm, but we can warm it up in a jiffy for you. I promise. Room temperature milk. Room temperature milk. Yeah, it's like defrosting meat. It's going to be discovered.

I don't have it here under the table, but just one moment, please. And he signals another service. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And turns around and disappears through the double doors. Was that good, boss? That was great. You were a genuine rich person. I'm learning from the best.

I can't believe, except we need to talk about your rich person. Are you saying that you like gazpacho's ivory Italian restaurant? I mean, I actually did. No, I know. They're endless breadsticks and salad is wonderful. a great deal for the whole family, but what I'm saying is you are not, I mean, have you had it via cutlet? Oh, it's delicious. Oh, it's incredible. I mean, the chicken palm is wonderful.

You're speaking of a gazpacha. Yes. There's just the one. And it is pretty infamous, for those who are, what's the word, in your cast, for lack of a better word. You would go, You would go there and enjoy a delicious veal cutlet, family-owned, some of the best food that you would ever enjoy. I'm saying, but Mr. Jayhams, or whatever the fuck you name is. You would never dream of, you think he's going to walk by a gazpachos and say, oh, I'd like to go in there. I'm going to get the giant meatball.

As soon as you say to get the giant meatball, someone shows up with a giant meatball. Yes, you said. And on a silver platter, there's a meatball the size of a flimflail ringer. Is this like a deconstructed something so I can eat it? Oh, it's rich people. It don't take anything good. Yeah, no, it shouldn't be. It should be a small meatball.

Is there meat in that meatball because... Oh, you're right. I... Wait, is that... Did you dare offer me? Mimmona meat? It's... It's...

but it's fine. Do you feel? If you don't eat meat, and another servant runs up. Do you know who I am? I'm mort a della. Your milk, madam. And you're getting a reputation now.

You can see the servants are more and more starting to fear and avoid. Not just listen, because they want to serve and they want a happy and placid well-be. What kind of animal did this milk come from? Can you pick something off the top of it? There was a weird. There's a weird scunge on my finger.

This is on the glass. What kind of gala is there? Well, we know it's a special night, so we got the most expensive milk. It's from alpaca. Oh. That was the correct answer. An alpaca.

You know, I knew a fella named Alpacchino. This particular servant, the trembling meatball holder is still looking at you with a great amount of fear. still doing here, trembling meat bowl? Yeah, we're going to need some soy balls, obviously. Soy balls. I'll have you know that I am a genuine bear folk who hasn't had a scrap of meat in 30 years.

That's so sad. Let's all pour one out for the vegan animals. We taught a lion eat tofu. I'll have you know that unless that. That is reconstruct, deconstructed, deconstructed, Soyling, Bolo meat. Then I will not eat it, for I am Lord Della. Lord Della says he needs soy balls.

How the fuck are you going? I'm like grabbing by the shoulder and I take like four of the meatballs off. Like two in each hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just, I mean, when your huge, mouth being what it is, like basketballs rolling through hoops. You immediately down all four meatballs.

Mr. J. Blue Hands, I don't think rich people say the F word in polite company. Oh. So you probably shouldn't be yelling that at the hell, you know? Wait, a friend or food? Fuck.

Oh, what are they saying? Stitt. Frick. I don't think that that's what would be. Dastardly. Oh, yeah. Or you could do Things like smarts or...

Oh. So I'm like, where the smarts are you going? Dallywall up and stuff. Exactly. Yeah, rich people. They make up a bunch of weird words. Yeah, the boss, he did okay, but he was never this rich. What you got to do to get this rich?

I need a scaboozing cup of milk. Exactly to your point. You guys settle into the noble life easily. Let's all make a group deception check. advantage. Yeah. You said deception? Deception.

Are you sure? That'll be a 22. 21? 21? 17. 19. Oh, wow. Not bad, folks.

With flying colors, you guys sail through the evening and you're dancing, you're meeting you're meeting different people. You do eventually talk to the lion and wolf pair, and you find out that's Lord Cors and Lord Miller, owns the owners of two of the greater-sized breweries, arguing about which of their brews are the best. You enjoy food, the servants continue to fear and respect you. And as the night goes on, you give each other a look. It's about that time that you've settled in, you've made your presence known,

and you each make your way to either side of the entrance to the restrooms, where you know that you're going to be able to gain access to the museum through the ducks that will leave you to the central corridor therein. Like Gov and I. Why do you think they have so many ducks inside the restrooms? Ducks? Yeah, you said the ducks were going to lead us into the museum from the restrooms. Maybe they're trained servants. And what are we going to do about the ducks?

And what are we going to do about the ducks afterwards? Like, we're not allowed to kill anyone, so... But if they've taken us in, they're going to know that we were the people they let in, so... They're going to be small, narrow passages that will lead us deeper into the museum. And are the ducks waiting for us on the inside of these small... I don't think there are any ducks. But you specifically said that we should go to the bathroom and the ducks will lead us inside. I did see a fella in there that had a costume from the play Moby Duck.

Did you say small and narrow? Yeah, yeah, no, I figured... Did you see that duck that was dressed up like Howard? Howard? Yeah, the duck. Who? The duck dressed up like Howard. No, I didn't see it.

Is he the one who's going to lead us inside? No, we're going to go in golden eye style. What's golden eye? Do you bring your watch? I did. Oh, wow. I'm being prepared. It's the golden eye.

It's what I'm saying. It's a golden watch that has an eye as the thing, the golden eye. You're each in the restaurant, your respective restaurants now at this point. So the only way you're hearing this conversation back and forth is through the sending stones. And you're getting some weird looks or you can hear some weird footsteps from people who are hearing only one side of this conversation as you guys are changing and looking up at the ducks, getting ready to make your way into the interior of the music. Oh, yeah, no, don't worry, rich people. I'm just communing with Mowloch, you know, just rich people.

Oh, Moloch? Yeah, yeah, no, we'll... We're gonna sacrifice, Ducks. Yeah, don't worry, it's the sacrifice to Moloch, yeah. I can't tell you how many nights on the toilet I've communicated with Moloch, I'll tell you. Oh, yeah, no, the, all the way I might, when I sit on the toilet sometimes,

it goes straight to the sixth circle, you know what I mean, friend? Well, I hope it will unlocks. Oh, yeah, no, that's what that's, I need that right now, okay. As soon as the door slams, you know that you have but moments before, perhaps the next no one. Noble arrives and you see Knuckles

already climbing into the vent above him. You are both now already also totally changed into your heist outst out, making sure that the ducks are there. And you look up, you see the air vent and you realize, you know, fuck these ducks. Maybe the air vent is a way

into these museums. I do think that in that moment. God, sometimes don't, well, I don't tell the boss this, but sometimes Gino's an idiot. We could have just used these air vents and waiting for some fucking ducks. and I'm just going to have been up and start making it.

You watch her fly up and you're able to easily make it. She doesn't need to do anything and I'm just like, I can start climbing up there. You start to make your way in. I'm going to see that in my air duct there's like four very large

gray like squares on either side and I'm going to take my watch. And then I pulled myself in. A little golden eye humor for you. My favorite kind of humor and that's where we'll take a quick break. Hey. This podcast is

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You drop down to the marble floor of the interior of the Galtican Museum of, well, Galtica, and I realized that hadn't given you a token to indicate, like, where you are, but the air ducts that you are going through, the vents or ducts, allow you to join and meet your companions and drop down silently to the floor of this. a seemingly empty museum. Now we don't have to keep up with our rich persona. No, we need to say, oh, we got lost on the way to the orgy. What?

What? We're rich people. Yeah. We got lost on the way to the humanoid sacrifice. I don't know. What do rich people do? I thought they sat around on plush couches and ate Clementines. Not these rich people.

From where you stand, you can see down this long corridor on either side. You can see that there are what are clearly entrances on either side to what are certainly exhibits of some kind. It's probably topic specific, let's say. But from where you're standing, there's a pair of double doors that lead into a central courtyard, an open air space with a beautiful fountain in the center. What you do next is up to you. So we've got to find the best way to get to the mom. of exhibit. And I thought about all of the options.

And so I will look down in the first time which exhibit is to my left and which exhibit is to my right. Your understanding of the truth, based on what you heard, is that at the very end of this corridor, there's a tremendous display of porcelain of T-seps and vases and dishware. stacks and stacks, shells and shells of them in all directions. In the complete opposite direction is an exhibit that the director has curated very specifically, a round of antrhus, tomes and artifacts and objects from all across the many continents of the world. There are some other smaller ones, as an example, if you were to go to left,

your very first left after you passed the bathroom entrance, the faces of Galtica, famous figures from the history of the city. And to your... Actually, those are your immediate options. There is a special exhibit, a sign that leads to the most southwestern room. It seems to be closed, but you do see a sign that's indicating like a direction. Along the lines of special exhibit, the secrets of Barovia brought to you by the University. I asked you and I forgot.

Oh my gosh, do you see that the exhibit by Miss Talley University? I've always wanted to see Barovia. Well, maybe if we have time, we can hit the... Don't you think we can go in just for a little bit? I mean, come on, it's all about vampires and stuff. Only if we can hit the gift shop, too. Oh, did... Did lady miss whatever?

Did she tell us whether we could steal other stuff too? You know, it was very unclear. very unclear. I would say it's nebulous as for forgiveness instead of permission. But I also don't want to steal nothing what'll get us caught and then I can't pay my book. I mean, we don't get a book. I mean, we don't get a book. If I had a cloak, like what would a Dracula wear? You know. Is it a little bit opposite direction out? Yeah. I mean, some werewolf pelt is really soft. Yeah. And it gets cold in the winter in my, I can't afford heat. I've always wanted to be able to read my own Taroka card

so I don't have to go down to that shady lady on 67th. I'm pretty sure she's given hand jobs in the back room. She does Theroka readings. Focus on the skeleton burst, and then we can have some extra time. We can always do a quick round, but I really think we need to. I think all is the voice of reading, yeah.

I think that we can get, you know, when she talks about the, when all the things, talks about the Taste of Barovia special. I didn't know she meant, I mean, you see the future. Anyway, let's, let, well, if we have time, we'll hit the gift shop, we'll hit the taste of Barovia. We can go buy the porcelain place.

It looks like my, my, my mother's shop, may she rest in peace. And I think that maybe this courtyard is the best way to advance. There could be less fewer traps. What do we think, gang? I'm the mastermind, but I also like to have, you know, I like to listen to my crew, you know? More jobs doing what you tell me. No, I like that.

You're going to our direction, and I'll go that way. But you need to make up your fucking mind. Yeah, my job's to blow things up, boss. And I'm going to tell you right now, I haven't blown up enough things. Okay. Let's hold off on blowing things up just yet. What we're going to do is go towards,

Do I know where the monster exhibit is? You know that the monster of the exhibit is through the portrait gallery, the westernmost built room, and the northwestern most room is where you would find an exhibit of taxidermy, beasts and monsters of all shapes and the rise. Okay, we're going that way. That's what I think. And if we get in the trouble, everyone just climb away. Well, I can fly away, boss.

Am I going to go to way of Billy Mays? Oh, that's... Selling oxyclean in prison? Yeah, she really fell on hard times real fast. You know what they call... You know what oxyclean is in prison, right? No. It's this powdered detergent that if you put it on your clothes,

it uses oxygen to get out all the stains and stuff. It's pretty magnificent. It's how I keep my duds so fresh and so clean. I got out of the slam of 25 years ago. kids, I just, I don't know. The youth is, it's really going downhill. Hey, Ola, the youths, man, the youths. The youths. Yeah, you better make sure you're keeping an eye on Merry Christmas. With a name like that, she's... I'm worried about it. Do you think that she got into the Oxygen? No. Do you think Merry Christmas is on the Octet Clean? I don't know about that, but I do know I

saw her eat an entire jar of Flintstone's vitamins by yourself. You've been keeping away Billy May, you can be keeping Billy May away from Merry Christmas, right? You've been letting them hang out at the school, damn you? I certainly have been trying. How's Mary Beth doing? The last time I saw she seemed kind of sickly. She's better. She's 12 now, if you can believe it.

Oh, wow. She made it past 10, I can't believe it. No, I don't think Avengers at the same death rates is like an equivalent of time. Oh, it's not like childhood. No, no, that's a little too grim for the setting. Anyway. It's a fantasy world. Yeah, the fantasy.

What about Mary Ellen? Is she doing okay? She's good. She's got a boyfriend. Is his last name Carter? That'd be pretty cool. I don't know that it is. His first name's Carter. And his last name's probably Carter, too. Don't worry. I'll rough him up until she dates a guy

who has the last name Carter. I bet his name's Carter, Carter. Oh, that sounds like he's from the wrist part of town. My son, Carter, Connor. Anyway, I played golf with a guy named Carter, Carta. He was a real jackass. Anyway, let's go this way. You play golf?

Yeah, of course I play golf. I'm 64 years old. I'm out of shape. It's the only athletic. It's a sport. I can play a sport. It's an excuse to start drinking at 8 a.m. Even in his all-black thieves clothes,

you still see a golf glove, like, hanging out the back pocket. I was going to, if this height ends early enough, I was going to hit the back nine at the, I mean, it's not a country club, But, you know, it's the... The city club. It's the city club. It's like...

It's the Boys and Girls Club. I'm going to indulge in the parking lot. Yeah, well, you know, times are tough for the deli. Anyways, at this heist, I'm going to join the country club, and I'm going to be among society. I'm going to be having Lauren lose all of his paycheck on those fancy drinks that taste like shit.

Anyways. So we're going to go right or left. Whichever will. way with towards the tactic dermian animals. Which you gotta tell us which way is. I think it was last. I think it was the direction. Towards the porcelain.

It's just like my mother. I'll just put you right. Your understanding of the truth is that and I will just double check. This is the celebrity faces of Alpica. This is what seems to be the special exhibit of Borovia. This does appear to be the porcelain room

and this appears to be a portrait gallery. Oh, so this is the portrait gallery. This is the courtyard, and as you are passing through this section here, you can look right and see that there are a variety of armored suits of different variety in all directions. We don't have a prince down the hall. Oh, my God, boss. We're not going the opposite direction of the Borovia exhibit. It is right here. It just packs these wax statues of Prince Heromus.

Prince Aramis? You know what they call him Prince Aramis, right? No, my boss. He had really nice hair. Oh. What do you think I was going to say? I wasn't you, boss. You're leading the way, Gino, and the three of you are sneaking behind him.

Even as you are all being as stealthy as possible, you can hear the sounds of each other's footsteps against the surface of this marble floor reverberating against the walls of the walls of this museum. And his feet hit the ground and it changes. The sound stops from click, click, click to a softer sound, almost non-existent. It's so quiet in the space that you can barely hear anything. As he walks over what appears to be a simple carpet or rug at the intersection of the corridor and the other features of this museum.

And he doesn't take another two, three steps when suddenly the rub, a more. the rug immediately wraps around Gino and spins into a column, enveloping him, engulfing him very quickly. If I hadn't brought Mooncloud shoes from the Fay Wild, and we're all wearing them. And so when we are walking over things, we're just hovering, just not a full levitation, but just a little bit above the ground. How did you Get these special boots or shoes? Oh, from Gazelda down on 57th She's down shoes?

Yeah That's what a name we show No, that's that is a different person She's on 50s goes This is from Grisel This is from Gisselda's thrift shop and Fay Wild goods You know knows all this box

Oh my God One moment, one moment. Let's go with... A few days before the heist. And it's occurred to you that for all the possible traps that could happen in this space, that you're the only person that could fly.

Exactly. So you jingle the bell of a very small, but specific specialty shop that you're aware of that you know from your contacts in Galtica. Who is it? Hi, it's... It's Glitzy, the Bang Sparks.

Glitzy, what are you doing? Yeah, it's Glissinda. Oh, I thought it was Griselda. That's, uh, good, you, Grizleda. She's on break. She's my sister, I'm gonna help you. They are hands. So, we're working.

Oh, Glezinda. Yeah, I was just, um, I'm gonna be hanging out in a real dirty bar soon with some of my friends. Oh, sure, oh sure. And I don't want their feet to get old, you know, when we, at the end of the night, when we're all drunk, and we're telling each other how beautiful we are. And he totally wasn't worth it.

I was thinking it would be a good idea for when we take our shoes off to be able to put on something that we could wear that could keep our feet clean and maybe like rise us up a little bit off the ground. You're thinking of the moon. Those Wal-Cloud shoes. You know, they're all over the ads. Those aren't expensive. They're to order.

You know Vexachi, the undead clothing line by that new designer? I do. I do. Yeah, they just came out with some really cool looking ones. Okay. But I'm looking more for a Fay Wild theme. Well, can you give me the sizes that we'd be needing for your friends and yourselves? Yeah, one's going to fit a Black Bear with Klein's. It's about 5-2, but he says about 5'4 on his dating profiles.

Okay, I think we can handle that, sure. Okay, and then another one is a, uh, I don't like to call her used up Ronda, but she is a mom of 10. And she's a bunny folks. That won't affect her shoe size. You would be surprised. Well, you know, she's been pregnant a lot, and, you know, they say the swelling and all. But she's a bunny folk, so her feet are quite large and wide.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. And there's a rhino. Oh, a big order. I was going to give you a F off, but we'll probably just call it even. Yeah, I think that's probably fair. Okay, well, that'll probably come to 4,000 gold pieces, all told. It's a magical item, and I understand it's a bit of a rush order. Is Wygor in the back?

I have two kidneys, but I only need one. Let's go out to the back. All right. You see, Gino coming out of the back girl. Oh, hey, Gina, how you doing? Uh, Gino, no, I'm his twin brother. He looks very flushed. Oh, Lido.

Oh, Lido, yeah. I love your pizza shop. I'm going to head back in together. You sell a kidney in order to secure these shoes instead of making a promise of gold or a favor. I have a really amazing scar now on my back. You have a really nasty and wonderful scar, but sure enough, with their fairy kidney secured, they are able to deliver in just two days. the day of the actual heist, you were able to get these shoes and distributing them as you guys were putting on your heist clothes. You are unable to trigger any of the possible carpet or rug traps that might be in this space.

And that was a twist of Forsy. So it was a flashback that we went back to and he used the resource. And Derek created a payment, which was my fucking kidding. You know that's a reagent for some of a berry kidney that a bunch of hay. There's some horrible dark magic. That's just getting ground up and snort. Yeah, they're going to be flying high. And additionally, moving forward, if you imbibe an overly amounts of alcohol,

you'd have a disadvantage on your constitution check. That would make sense. I'm glad I only drink milk. I'll lean down and I'll pump, pump, pump, pump. Man, I feel lighter than air. Oh, yeah, you got to make sure you squeeze a little full moon on the tongue. Oh, right there. All right.

So are we swinging by that? Because it's a porcelain exhibit. My mom's always one of the real nice... Make she rest in peace. How's she doing? How's your mom? Oh, you didn't hear? No.

You're Josh and me. No. Oh, no. Sorry, that's Gino's mom. Oh. We're poor mom. You're not talking about your mom, right? It wasn't Knuckles' mom or that over on 45th?

No. She didn't do much. She really sits at home and watches Leopardy old day, but I mean, she really just basically... Just, you know, when she walks across the street to Dwayne Reed, you know, over on 42nd. I don't know what you're talking about, Lucy. She's a nice old rhino lady. You know, I'm glad your mom is doing fine. I'll send over a care package.

We'll send over her a side of... I don't know what happened at James' parents out on the beach? Oh, you don't talk about that. When they were killed before he had to go live with his aunt? It was a different time. All right. Well, I'm just saying it was a rhino that You're talking about that. A giant centipede voice by Richard Dreyfins is going to come after singing about this fucking city, okay?

I'm just saying, was that his mom or was it not his mom? The rhino on the beach with James. You know, they never really found out much about it. It was very unclear. I just think you should call your mom is all I'm saying. You've made it 40 feet into this museum. Good advice for all. You should, I think you should always call your mother.

You never know when you're going to lose your mother. I'll nearly gave me a heart attack. I'm just saying I... me mom. I just heard a story about something to happen on the beach. I'll send over some... What did you hear about the beach? Did your mom go to the beach recently? No.

You see me shaking sand out of me? What a god could see? It's a giant centipede in a dapper outfit, a scamp-like city outfit, voiced by Richard Dreyfus, comes out, start thinking about listening. That's the last thing we need on the time. But what we could use, though, to be fair,

is a really attractive black widow spider with a beret and an attitude. That sounds like my ex-wife. You've been married before? Unfortunately. Anyways, she was more venomous than a black woman. We've gone about 40s in this

heist and we've been here for a half hour, so I'm thinking maybe we should move towards the Barovia exhibit. No, no, you can still hear the party. You're close enough to the entrance of this space, you can hear the sound of the big band. You can hear the commotion and shatter of the people.

did you really steal one of the desserts from the yeah it was free were you eating that on the toilet before we came in through the death I couldn't finish it how did you get it through the dog I commando crow with the head of it

you gotta take advantage I mean I'm not going to not enjoy the fancy rich people stuff I guess that's fair I did take this coffee nice move I'm going to take some porcelain for my mom. Well, if you're going to go ahead and do that, I'm going to step into the Barovia exhibit and see what I can find.

I do really want to... Okay, this is the only pit stop, okay? Okay. I mean, the only two pit stops, okay? All right. Norman, they're all next to each other. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's correct.

I guess that's correct. We can have two go into Barovia and two go into the porcelain. Who wants to come with me? I'm heading to porcelain. Do you know how many glasses, 10 children break on a daily basis? Oh, yeah, I bet that's a lot. Jino, I guess you're with me.

Oh, no, I'm like, there was some thought it. I'm going to have to get divorced. God damn, I guess I'll go into Barobia by myself. Good bar. No, I'll come. I can hold it. I can hold it. Now I don't want to be in the Barobia exhibit with you if you've got gas?

No, it's that no, that's the spooky rotting dead zombie. That isn't me. It is definitely not a spooky, spooky, rotting dead zombie. That is definitely you. No, look, there's a Dracula over there. We're not even in the room yet, Gino. Oh, no. that's right. Let's go see what Dracula's up to.

You walk up to the door and you attempt the lock and it is unfortunately not budging. The door seems to be locked. And that is also true at the entrance of the porcelain exhibit. Why didn't we think the doors would be locked?

I knew this was going to happen because I'm the mastermind. That's why I have these thieves tools. So are you going to unlock the doors for us? But what if they are, what if they have an alarm? Yeah, I don't think it's worth it. I'm gonna just be honest. I think we should just go through the portrait gallery and go. Can you just check for an alarm? I mean, can't you sort of take a look and see you?

Oh yeah, you know what? That's a great idea. I'm gonna try to check over old Dracula here. Let me take a look. Okay. Okay. There might be some Dracula magic. Okay. Am I able to perceive any traps? Oh, are you just looking for traps? I'm attempting to, however rogues perceive traps, I guess is the just... Well, there's investigation if you're looking for a specific trap in a mechanic in a sense, where there's Arcana, if you're doing something magicy. And then there are also resources.

I'm going to investigate it. I'm going to investigate it. Okay. So make an investigation check. Let me just take a look here. Okay. Okay. That's not great.

That's not great. I'm looking down at the map, and I'm realizing that the doorway two secrets of Borovia is through the porcelain room. So you're all staring at just the door. The porcelain room. An 11. And 11. There's nothing. Seems locked.

It doesn't look like there's any kind of mechanical trap or alarm. Oh, that's amazing. That means we can go. You can just unlock it. We can go right in. Yeah. You know, I knew this Tabaxi fellow once. He thought he was a great lock pick.

He brought a whole very fancy, very expensive kit. And he was on the job. And he rolled it out, ready to go, and he looked at it. I don't know. I have to use this. That's a true story. The first session of Faywell that we ever played, I bought thieves tools and you realize you had to be proficient in them in order to benefit from.

I have a follow-up question. If I'm proficient, do I have them? Yeah. That's usually... Yeah, that's yeah. If you don't have it, it's because we made the characters quickly. I will attempt to pick the lock of the porcelain room to get to... Is that Dex or... yes, it's Dex. It's Dex plus my proficiency. Dex plus your proficiency. Can I really want Gino to shit in a wall? Since I also have thieves tools? I would say that you are guiding him.

like you might one of your many children, whispering into his ear and hearing the clicks, she's just as skilled with the lock as you are, and so you're getting the encouragement and the guidance that you require. Oh yeah, thanks. It's just like old times, huh? Are you going to give him inspiration? I miss this. And really, I really miss this.

Are you just going to give him advantage or you're going to mechanically benefit him from Bartik inspiration? Oh. Oh. I could just Burdick inspired. You could do both, yeah. You could do both if you wanted to. Can I do both?

I might need it, yeah. Okay. I don't know how Burdick inspired. inspiration works. So I can enjoy a D6 and add it to it. So why don't you roll it? Why don't you roll it? That was the roll.

That was the roll. That was the intended roll. That's the role. That's the role is what the Dungeon Master says. I think I'm still fine. So 1 plus 10, so it's 11 plus 5, 16 plus proficiency, which is 2, 17. Wow, that was a lot of math. With an 18.

Your eyes glossed over. My eyes glossed over. Derek's like, I'll trust. because I'm not doing it's that. But do you do that. Click. After just a few minutes of maneuvering, first gate, second gate,

next lock, next lock. That's the sweet sound of success right there, boss. You're able to open the lock and swing the doors open to the porcelain room, and you see what was written on the tin. Shelf after shelf, after shelf, going up 10, 15, 20 feet up into the air. This huge room just there to display an enormous abundance of effectively overflow dinnerware by the nobles of Galtica.

Oh, gosh. Someone's going to have to hold me back. Every material, there's a beautiful amount of extremely delicate things in this space. Oh, good. Okay. Look at all of this. It looks like it needs to be fired in a kiln. So, before we entered the space, since I picked the lock, thank you very much, Orla.

I really appreciated your encouragement. That was very nice. It's like old times. Oh, I always knew you to do it. I always like when someone just saying, be careful, be careful, don't mess up. It always helps calm my nerves. Oh, God.

Because your mother is a saint, knuckles, as the boss, I will allow you to take one item, Ola, because you gave me such encouragement and we go way back, you can take one item and glitzy because you're here too and you like shiny things you can take one piece. The last thing I want is for you to grab it seemingly carefully and then when you finish grabbing it, thinking you have made your getaway that comically all of the porcelain comes crashing down,

destroying all of it, and then all of the guards come rushing. That is the last thing I want. When you grab me like, oh, and then we walk away, and then it all crashes down. That is the last thing I want. Why would it all crash down? Because that would be a very comedic capon. And that is very likely to happen. You think that this museum's security feature is that if one piece were stolen,

the rest would immediately fall and be broken, destroying millions of golds worth of their collection. You know, maybe, you know, fate is just, has destined. us to a comedic apen. Boss, do you think that some of this porcelain is on, on fire, and then I need to just light it all on fire and make sure that it's cured properly? No, I think by definition, as porcelain, it needs to have been already fired.

Oh, yeah, it's already done. I mean, you don't have to do it or you stop. No. I know what you're thinking. You see that my fingers are like sparking. They're glowing a little bit red. You're looking like little embers. Think of me mom

Wait Think of how Shad my mom would be Oh I haven't been able to use fire In almost 24 hours You know how I get If you're good You can use lots of fire

After the heist Just one cup Just let me hold one cup And just light it on fire Well you get one thing Well you can pick one thing What you choose to do with it It is between you and your guard

End the sense All right And the porcelain. And the porcelain. How do I even pick one, though? Which one looks like it needs to be on fire more than the other ones? You know, that's between you, your god, and the fence. Oh, all you pick first.

I'm overwhelmed. I'm going to look for like a really nice terrain. You do. A nice serving piece. In my mind, you're still all having just only swung open the door standing there, looking at this menagerie of pots and, and teapots and all these plates and spoons and forks and knives. You haven't gone in yet to actually take or manipulate whatever object you were.

I'm starting to get ember fingers. You know what happens when I start getting ember fingers. Yeah, I'll find a nice, like small, modest teacup. Okay. You walk in and... But you, not for me, though. What are we looking for then? I think I've really won a gravy boat.

I've just always felt like I could do really well with the gravy boat, you know? Can we find a gravey boat? Sure enough. Just to the bottom left. Could we find one with some really nice kinsigionic? You know, it's when one breaks, and then they fill in the cracks with gold? Because they sparkle. I'll let me tell you.

Not in the shelves, but you do see just at the corner. There appears to be what is an ornate, broken and reassembled with gold leafs. gravy boat on a pedestal all by itself. You know, I saw in a document. Is it getting hot in here? I do that in the gnarring. You know? This is like the most famous face.

It's on like the cover. After this, we should all go out with Sushi. What do you guys think? Did you just say Sushi? I'm gonna pretend like you didn't. What do you think? I'm going in. Are you ready?

I'm gonna go in. I'm looking at it right now. Make an X-Dirty saving throw. All right, I'll do it at a disadvantage. I'm just kidding. I won't. Do I have inspiration for any reason at all? No, and I don't think we have any twists of fate either.

You said a dexterity saving. We're actually playing Dungeons and Dragons. We're raw-dogging this adventure. You said it dexterity saving, though, yeah? How does an 11 feel? An 11 feels like a very sudden hit to the back of your head, just where the knob is. You know what I'm talking about. The fuck out, God.

to the back of your small fairy mind and you hear a crash as a teacup. The three of you all turn and watch as a teacup crashes to the ground. You've been hit struck by one of the porcelains off of the shelf. And looking around, all of you can now spy the plates

and objects on the surface of these shelves start to scoot forward in a threatening manner. One of the spoons starts to lift up almost as if it's magnetically attracted to the four of you, you suddenly start to see another TIPA whip around and fly towards you knuckles, make a dexterity saving threat.

I see that. Dexie you say? Oh, no. Dexia says? Yep. Oh, Lord. So natural one plus three is four. That's not enough.

But being as big as you are, you take one look around and you see a, you see a, you see a, spinning teapot crash into your face and explode outward. The sound is deafening after having been silent aside from your non-stop murmuring which just never seems to end. You guys hear the crash of the sound in this space and you immediately

are concerned about not just the loudness of this, but the loudness of the entire side of these shelves starting to bend over almost like its own dragon of sorts. This porcelain objects as they begin to animate magically and start to fly towards you. Gino,

Orla, you both need to make additional dexterity saving throws as this continues to happen. I hate cutlery. That's all. Dexterity saving throw? A 14. I just wanted you to know I hate cutler. Also, 14. What was yours, Gino?

14. We both got a 14. Oh, both for you 14? Uh, crash and crash. Oh. All of a sudden, more porcelain. Four for you, Gino. Four for you, Orla.

I'm not a class silence. Okay. I think. Oh. There you go. For the duration, no sound can be created within or pass through a 24-foot radius sphere, centered on any point. That's just about the size of this room.

So even though the threat of these breaking porcelain pieces that are just hurling themselves towards you is still very much real. And you're starting to realize everything in this room is starting to come alive and start to swing towards you, flying at you as if thrown. The sound immediately, it's almost as if all of you go down. and there's still chaos in all direction. You're screaming, but I need everyone to make an additional dexterity saving throw.

I was seeing a seed in the movie. The DC is 15. In silence, in complete silence. 21. Vases are flying down. Oh no, 20, sorry, 20. DC is 15 and if you dodge out of the way, you take no damage otherwise.

It's 1D4 bludgeoning damage. You're able to dodge into the way. You're able to dodge out of the way. 23. You guys are right. all now able to suddenly getting your wits about you. It's pretty easily easy and almost kind of fun to move out of the way of these objects. And looking down, you can still even see even the shards are starting to reform and begin to continue to careen towards you in

all direction. What are you doing? I want to try to see a teapot that hasn't left that has left ed us yet and just try to grab it and hold on to it if I can and shove it in my pack. Make a dexterity check. That is a 16. I would say that it's harder than a DC-15 to catch this and try to stuff it into your pack. You are able to attempt to grab it, and it doesn't do any damage, but it nearly shatters it the velocity that it was heading as it screamed towards you. And I'll just be cursing and shouting silently. Okay, the sound of cursing being what it is.

How are you solving this problem? Are you running out of the room? Are you attempting to get through the door to the secrets of Borovia? What is the plan? I'll go the direction that Gina's pointing. Make an intelligence check at disadvantage. Anyone watching Gino as you are continuing to dodge out of the way of these? 14.

Are these considered creatures? I would say they're considered objects. Okay, you are not even looking at Gino. And with a 14, I would say that you get a sense of what you're trying to describe. So you may convey in broad strokes what you are attempting to convey to, knuckles. I'm saying go to the Dracula room. So I see this and I'm going to put my head down and I'm going to sprint and try to basically ram through the door to the, oh, let's open. I'm going to try to ram each other. I would say that you try to ram into it with strength.

Strength check. I'm going to try to follow with my rabbit hot, but these shoes are like trying to jump with hair skates on and I was going to be like strength or athletics? Strength. Let's give you the athletics if you have the perfect. Easy for it. 17. You slam into it and the doors nearly buckle, but it looks like it's going to take another hit.

And in the meantime, I need everyone to make an additional dexterity. No. Oh, I'm fine. I'm dodging. 1419. Roll a D4 and take that in blood-jimming. Four. It's because I'm using your and yours.

Nice. Nine. Nine. Roll a D4 and take that in bludgeoning. How much games should I take? You roll a D4. Oh, one D4. It's a cup that song?

Wonderful. Kind of sound, I know, it's just big bad jazz. Oh, where's my comp head mug? So now the DM has two twister dread. I'll take that thread. Yeah. Where is it? Oh.

We have to give it to you. Oh, no. I'm going. You have. I'll leave this one. Oh, is that? No, I'm not Grico. I'm, uh,

this guy over here is making me think I'm a goblin. There we go. I need this thought. And back to our regularly scheduled program. Holy shit. Sorry, Jeff. You know. Thank you for hard limiters.

You take another stab at, you're smashed in the back by, uh, the gravy boat. And, uh, you, uh, make a, another athletics check to see if you can slam through this door. Oh, the 13. As a mastermind rogue, I'm gonna give you a help action for. Oh, enjoy some magic. Do any of you will hear you? Is it verbal?

It's verbal if you're attacking somebody, I thought. Let me read out. Nothing currently works inside the silence. I know this one, I can't use any of my strong. Have you taken damage since you cast silence? No. Thank you. My decks is crazy.

crazy. Does the help action require? Oh, they can see or hear you. And I'm literally pantomiming, so yeah. So that is a 20. That's enough. You are able to crash through the door and you all watch him disappear into the next exhibit room. And I assume the three of you are immediately following with a rabbit hop, a bear hop, and a pixie flight, you disappear through the space and find yourself turning around looking through the frame. You see the some of the porcelain stop right at the frame of the door and hover before crashing down

and in complete silence. But you're able to suddenly hear having just crossed the threshold of the silent spell that Orla's cast. I guess that answers your question as to whether they would have booby traps that would destroy their valuable artifacts, Ola. What's a load of nonsense?

Yeah. That was a lot of it. They could have lost three pieces of porcelain, just three. but instead they lost a bunch of them. And it's as you're saying this that you can see these pieces start to the porcelain

fit back together and slide themselves gently onto the shelves in whole pieces. Perfect and pristine. I haven't seen that level of porcelain's destruction since the shaman bears came to visit. Fuck.

What? I don't get it. get that one. Toilets. It's toilets. The shaman bears. I thought you said, I thought you said shaman.

I thought you said shaman. They love shitting. Have you met these guys? Those bears freak me the hell out. I don't know. I mean, it's not. I don't anyway. There's so many better ways to sell toilet paper.

The nightmare bears were like, huh? We love shitting. Yeah, like, have you seen the poopery commercial? If you want to sell something to do with a but hole, that's how you do it. Sorry I interrupt the adventure. You find yourselves now in the quiet space of what should be the secrets of the Rovia

room, but it hasn't been... Rood. Built. It's absolutely. That's so good. You know, I was expecting this. It's coming soon. You even see the sign.

You can see that somebody has already started to paint the wall and do some sort of like a mist thing on one wall, but it's only half finished. You see what looks like display cases, empty. I take out a can of spray paint and I graffiti the walls. Okay. What do you write? Glissy was here. That's what you want to write in a heist where you don't want to be identified.

No, I don't do it, though. No, no. Glissy, why don't you take it easy real quick? Why don't you do a nice, smiley face that might look like a monkey or something creative and say like? What kind of smiley faces are you making? I look like monkeys. I don't know. You can get a little, you're an artist, aren't you?

What are you looking at? I'm looking at that squirrel over there. Every time I talk to you, you're staring over there. I know that's just my stigmatism. That's not what the stigmatism is. I have that. I'm in context for it right now. Oh, I don't know.

My doc says I have all these things and just glaze right over. Do you think you said arthritis? Because your knees are cracking. Oh, no, I definitely have arthritis. And I'm glad there wasn't a spooky vampire in here because my doc said you should not be scared suddenly. especially by a Dracula or else it could be the big one next time. Oh, hey, Gino. Yeah.

Boo. Ha! Oh, no, is this it? Oh, no, I'm fine. I don't think we should touch another thing in here. No. Oh, right. Okay, I was a generous boss, you know?

They always say the nice bosses don't make it very far in the mob, and they were right. Okay. I don't know if that's true. I was watching a major image, and it was about Captain Steed. the gentleman pirate and he made it pretty far so far in the show I mean that might be just a lot of plot convened I saw a document I saw a document about him and he he failed terribly and got hanged and nobody saved them oh well I guess you're right then yeah no I saw them ruined the entire major image for me wait I mean

that's just history from the isn't that just history you know you don't want you don't read documents on history Well, I know that Blackbeard dies. I always told him to read so many documents. And to be fair, I mean, I would know currently that he was dead anyway because it happened a long time ago. Yeah, exactly, right. You have plenty of time. It's not spoilers.

It's history. It's a venture's history. You got to, they got to read. What are they teaching kids in schools these days? Can you believe this? Can you believe this all right? I dropped out of school. can you believe Mary Kay is Mary Ashley

Can you believe what these kids Are you how is Mary Kay and Mary Ashley doing? Can you believe what these kids are being taught in these schools? You know, you hate to see it. Yeah, are the twins holding up all right? They're great. Orla, you're barely being attention because you realize that this museum room is almost a dead end.

There does seem to be one small room to the side of the door that has been busted open, cracked open by Knuckles' intense strength, but that the only way to get through and back to the hallway or into the portrait gallery is to go back out and through the porcelain room. So what's in that little room? Can we see it? Like what's in there at all? It looks like, unlike many of the larger double-framed doors in this museum, this one is a full wooden door. There's no way to see into the space without opening it. Why are we looking at all?

I don't think we open it. I think we have to head back through the porcelain room and just not touch anything this time. What if it's an elevator to a secret passage or a secret room? What if? I don't know. One of us was supposed to be very, very familiar with the schematics and it wasn't me. No, I... If you're like a mood in the lobby and the fucking toilets.

Will you listen to me? What if it's the ducks we've been waiting for this entire time? I think it might be a secret elevator. Well, you're the boss. We'll open the door. We do what you say? No, I think we should run back right to the portrait room. I don't think we want to waste any more time.

I feel like it's getting late. How are we going to get through the room? The moment we walk in there, all of them's plates is going to have beef with us. I'll do what I did. It is to order that door. Are we just getting behind knuckles and just running and screaming? Is your silence? I'm still up?

Oh, that's a good question. Is that a minute? 10 minutes. 10 minutes. It's definitely been less than 10 minutes. Well, then we better go before that spell is over. Okay. We're gonna destroy.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I lean down and... T-t-chee-be-d-d-chee-tze. I'd rush off more sand from the bottom of my shoe. You all pump your shoes. A spell that uses V voice, Burble. Could I cast that to get it started

and then would it extinguish in this? Something like Burning Hand. Because the idea is I want to fly and have my hands just trying to burn anything that's coming at us? No, it's the verbal component is the casting. Yeah, that's what I was hoping. It says casting a spell is impossible there, but not holding one to one. So I would like to do that. Okay, so you ignite your hands and you have burning hands.

Now, is that a duration spell or is it like an instantaneous? Oh, it might be instantaneous. I'm pretty sure it's an instantaneous, like, I'm going to suck you up with fire type spell. I could just like let me do it because it's cool. I could because I'm cool. I'm just asking so that I know I'm right first. It's from self, for 15 feet from me.

Instantaneous. It's instantaneous. You know exactly where the threshold of the silence is. So what your plan is is almost like a plane delivering napalm. You're going to say the word just before you cross into the silence and then do this as you. you are crossing through. And looking into the space, it's all glass,

metal, and porcelain. You expect that it will maybe keep things from hitting you and heat any ceramic that might try to come at your person. But it's not going to catch fire to the museum. Well, because I heat it up when it does eventually hit us, we're all going to be

branded by whatever these pieces of glass. That is a possible. consequence, assuming that you guys don't get through the door in one hit. Yeah. You're welcome. Okay, so you suddenly dive through, and let's get into a place of more swingness. Oh, here's an egg for your troubles.

Health action. Oh, do you want to encourage me on the Ais's? Yeah, I think we need to do that. I mean, if you want to, you don't have to refresh your early. It's not a spell. It's more like a feature if you're like a feature. go to, you know, to think of section. Yeah, it's a bonus action.

It's not like a full action. It's a bonus. All right. Little extra, something, something. You have been inspired. Give it a lash, boy. Give it a lash. You together, race through into the space,

and you follow Knuckles. The flame from above you do superheat the porcelain, but it seems to surprise the objects almost. They are taken a back, and you notice the Knuckles has one moment crash through this door and potentially see you guys through and into the portrait gallery. Go ahead and roll an advantage. I'm a sprinter. I'm definitely going to need this.

Well, it's still an eight plus nine is 17. 17. Oh, I don't know. You slam into it, and for a moment you think that you have stopped, that you're not going to be able. It's nearly broken through when you feel the body of Orla and Thurla. Gino hit the back of you and push you the remaining inch that you need to crash through those doors and you're able to slide onto the marble floor

on the other side of the space. Looking behind you, you can see many of the objects on the shelves had been lifted into the air and they immediately shift back into place without worry. And in silence, not because of the silence of Orla Spell, but because of the silence of your grave situation, you fall to the cold marble floor and looking around, you see that you're through

and no longer in danger for the immediate. And where are we? You are in the portrait room. This is all one open. And I'll describe it, I guess. You find yourself in the space looking up at a tall ceiling, a huge skylight at the surface. But even from the moonlight and from the windows

that are pulling in this beautiful blue light that's illuminating the exterior of the museum. You can see there are tiny frames, medium-sized frames, large frames, wide frames, tall frames, covering the entire surface of all of these walls, not one story, not two stories, but three stories up. Huge landscapes, giant portraitures of famous people, nobles, kings. They're all looking down towards the center of this space,

and it would be possible, and you imagine that it's quite an impressive display during the day where you'd be able to quietly sit and observe these beautiful paintings in all directions. But at night in this space as you're all starting to pat yourself off, get to your feet, and get a sense of the space around you. There's a very uneasy feeling that takes over. There's a very creepy manner-like eyes following you kind of feeling that tickles the back of your neck as you enter this next space. Keep in the aisle. They might be perverts.

I forgot about the provere. I should have remembered when I planned this. You've been like blowing the paintings. Yeah, no, perverse. You know, there's a lot of rich folk here. All rich folk are basically perverts. It's true. I was going to say the same thing.

I don't think we should touch anything. Just in case. They are put. Make sure you pump up your moon cloud shoes. Keep yourself up off of the floor. I would have used my ursine agility because I'm a sprinter. So I'm going to... Oh.

Oh, this is a big one, I think. Your heart is pumping for a moment. Oh, come on. Just one more. The heart takes a moment. Come on. Just keep going. One more heights after this one.

Old friend. This was the last one. I promise. You do know that over the week, as you've been communicating with Gino and during your planning, that he wanted that 25,000 from the bank heist to pay for a larger job, and that this job will be more than enough capital to pay for an even greater and more big one, big one. I haven't told you about that yet. There's not the details.

Not the details. That's very important to say until after this height is finished. I don't know. That sounds like multi-level heisting. Well, that, you know, we like multi-level high thing. friend from high school he's like hey I haven't seen you in 30 years I'm like oh hey it's good a see you probably want to see me because you want to be friends and he's like hi there's a great business opportunity oh no do you want to sell this lipstick

once everyone's wisdom score it's the best lipstick you'll love my wisdom score oh 14 14 could be worse 12 12 everyone make a wisdom saving throw oh no it's the perfect wisdom save you say oh I did nine 16 three nine natural one plus one yeah I got a natural one plus two you're all looking around and you look at the eastern wall here it's a great to give you an anachronistic image of your childhood this is the Vigo from Ghostbusters two portrait a giant conqueror staring down his massive forehead, his eyes hypnotized.

They begin to pull you into the painting. You take a step on your moon cloud shoot silently, but you are walking forward, and you all see sort of Knuckles take this first step and start to look. Knuckles, I needed to make a wisdom saving throw as you stare deep into the eyes. Do you're all right?

Oh, that looks awfully strong. If he is a pervert, I want to. That one. That's 17. With the 17, you hear this whisper in the back of your mind. Join us. Join us and we can control. Command, dominate the world.

Oh, do you say something about orgies earlier? Oh, I did. Is this guy, is this guy the king of the org. No, he wants me to join him. I just got an orgy invitation. No. In a cold girl, is what he's saying. No, you're letting the risk.

guy go to your head. This is an act. It's not real. Pleasures beyond your imagining. Within your grasp, approach me and kneel. He wants me to kneel. I think I'm going to do it. No. I don't think you should do that. I want to do that. She's a waking something inside. No. I'm going to walk up. Knuckles, you're a big strong guy. You shouldn't be the, you know, I guess it's very difficult.

You do and make a wisdom saving throw at disadvantage. You all watch as, knuckles seems mesmerized by this portrait, but I need each of you to also. make wisdom saving throw. Seven. Seven. Ten. You're watching Knuckles and you're seeing the painting that he's looking at, but

Glitzy, you're distracted by another painting, what looks like a beautiful glade, and what appears to be a gorgeous dry ad, cleaning or drying her hair. And she looks out, and you can

see suddenly your eyes are pointed directly you and you hear this voice in the back of your head a beautiful voice of a dryad and she wishes you to join her in this glade in this space gino you are also looking at different painting you see a hunter what is clearly somebody uh who is out of uh searching for foxes um on on looking looking for uh their next great kill uh of a man of conquest What did you get? 22. Oh.

Baffled. You are watching the three of your companions. Your crew start to walk up to these paintings, and you are starting to realize they are just being possessed. There's some sort of transfer. Is possessed the official term of that? They're not charmed, maybe. It started with the charm, and now they are beginning to become something more.

But are they charmed right now? if that was like an official determination. Capital C Charmed, what are you mechanically asking? I'm wondering if I can cast calm emotions. It would allow me to suppress effects causing a target to be charmed or frightened. You absolutely could, and they could then take another wisdom saving throw to see if they can break freight. So the way that it works is each humanoid in a 20-foot radius centered on a point you choose must make a Corrism a saving throw, a creature can choose to fail the saving throw of wishes.

I can suppress any effect causing a target to be charmed or frightened. It's for up to a minute. Okay. And I can all, but here's the fun part. I can also make a target indifferent about creatures of your choice that it's hostels word. So if the paintings are creatures that are hostile to us, I could make them indifferent to them. It's like kind of the backwards way. You're saying I can calm the emotions of my three companions, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, and I, it potentially might influence the paintings to stop their intrusive, uh, effect.

Maybe. I think it's the, it's supposed to, if you're a humanoid and you are hostile towards creatures, it would do that. So we're not hostile towards the painting. So if the paintings are creatures, I could make them indifferent to us, but I could also make you resistant to being charged. Got it. Because you guys could do that. I think calm emotions only works on humanoid. Yes. Right. Yeah.

So it would do. It would be honest. Okay. So you just attempting to clear the minds of your companions. How do you do that? What does it look like? What I mean is what does Orla say or do in this moment to attempt to calm emotions? Yeah.

This is something Orla would have a lot of familiarity with. This is probably a little trick up her sleeve for when there was like eight screaming children. Nine, ten. How are you? Yeah. Some number. greater than the kids of three, Mary Ashley. That she has like a hush.

And her hush is like her casting, a calm the fuck down to everybody in this 20 foot radio. We're turning this car around. Is that specific tone? We have food at home. The food at home. The three of you are second from the influence of the paintings. Let me tell you why they call me glitsey,

The bang Spock's as I'm flying towards the track. This is a very high up painting. You are going up all the way. These nipples could cut glass and blow glass. Gino, you are looking at this hunter and you're seeing confidence. You're seeing a life that you would love to live, a life of not just luxury, but of luxury.

It's like all of the infomercial. of late night TV combined in the one and one simple pill. You start to walk forward. You are on your knees at this point on one knee and you are giving yourself off. And it's in this moment that you hear, and you need to make all a wisdom saving throw at advantage. I should say you can choose to fail this saving throw

but I swear to God. No, we need to fail that it called. I will turn this heist around. We've already failed it. This is the wisdom save, not the charisma save. We're saying we're all going to fail so that we're affected by this, right? Yeah. Mechanically.

Are we allowed to choose or? You're asking us to save against the paintings. Yeah. Oh. Oh, it's for the possession. Yeah. 19. Do I have to do this?

No, you've already, you've already resisted that initial, that initial charm. What was it? With the them saving throw? Yeah. 20. How about that? In one simple pill, you say? You were, you've only spent a brief time with the paintings.

It was Knuckles who went first. And in this moment, you are suddenly, you hear the small voice and then the louder voice of the hush that is Orla's voice, and you feel her magical melodic voice hit your ears. It flushes away, that feeling. And you pull away and you realize this would not have been a simple possession. You might have swapped roles with that, and that what is in the painting.

And regrettably, you see as it is not knuckles there kneeling. Knuckles now is in the painting itself. Beautiful illustration of him. He's animated. Harry Potter fucking style. You can see Knuckles. I'm walking back and forth. But he's confused.

You suddenly find yourself in the barren wasteland of the portrait that you were looking at. And now standing there a full nine, ten feet tall, no longer kneeling, is this conqueror, turned up and turning around the three of you staring down he reaches down towards his bronze sword and grabs it I will look up and I will cast netherers mischief on this guy oh shit what is I have no what I never oh no that happened before yeah and fucking knuckles how big is this room it's as big as the room would indicate in the in the map I mean and picture of the the porcel room time six.

Is there a way to do a 20 foot cube around him without hitting us? Yeah, I would say absolutely. Okay, perfect. It's not that. So I will do that. And it's a cube, not's fair. And he has to, yeah, well, I have to roll on the table first. Oh no.

Bocais of flowers appear all around, and each creature in the cube must succeed on an exterity saving throw, be blinded until the start of my next turn, if the flowers spray the spray water in their faces. So flowers just sprout up all over him and he has to roll a dexterity saving throw as they begin to spray water in his face. Fuck, what the fuck? The dexterity saving throw, yeah. Is it like the clown thing with the flower in the way? Yeah, happens if he fails.

And I think that we're getting close to an initiative play. So I'm just going to go with the music. He's blinded for a minute. Oh, he's blinded. He grumbles and you hear the low grumble of what clearly was some ancient conqueror, even though this is a. a representation of him made manifest. It is still a scary sight to behold, and he starts flashing out. You can see him pull out this giant

great sword. What are the two of you doing? I woke up at him. And also, we forgot to do this. And just before you enjoy your twist of foresight, I need to roll two D20s. I've been rolling that. Oh, you have? Yeah, I got a 17 and a three. I know. No, me? No, no, no. Because I'm wild magic.

I've been ruling on the chaos table to see what happens. I am at least vaguely familiar with how that works mechanically. However, time stops and we revisit what Gino may have prepared for the coming adventure, knowing that there was this portrait gallery between you and the monsters exhibit. I'll look up and I'll say, you know, I thought this in a document once. It's late night. I'm on my eighth, ye old-fashioned. Just finished up watching night court from my window, the court, the night court, it's emptying out.

And I decided to settle in with a document on Gronker, the Conqueror, the Conquer. They got the little on the nose, don't you think? and I read about his entire life. You find out that the reason the word anonymologically conqueror exists is because it's because of gronkerer. He was that prolific. A great prolific conqueror. And that

over time the language just evolved to conquering because no one wanted to say it that weirdly. Gronker is a lot harder to pronounce. It's just much true. Conquer is so much easier. And so I'm sitting in my chair and I'm not wearing a suit. It's definitely like a dirty, like white shirt. There's mustard stains all over it.

And I'm just, I'm seeing in the document as I'm reading it. This guy had mommy issues. I don't understand. And his mother loved flowers and bouquets. And that his core wound was caused by that trigger. And flowers

was the one thing that made him feel soft and sensitive and want to help. And would probably help those if he's felt that tender with his great magical powers. I don't fucking know. But I would think back to what the one thing that he would remember about his mother and the flowers,

as the flowers explode around and what might be able to gain us a powerful ghost portrait ally, I don't fucking know. As I'm sitting in the document, I think he has mammish. I think if he just kind of let in his sensitive side and smelled the rose if he wouldn't have so much. You wouldn't have to kill so many people and sit upon a throne of skull this Gronkara guy. Come on.

Oh, ye, gronkerker. As I'm standing. Oh, you, fashion. I'm just like, ain't goddamn old fashion. I would say rather than a flashback that you realize that the representation of gronqueror

being what it is. What a stupid. I have to play a few. That's right here. That's right here. I get to do what I want. It's been in the fucking de Blune. You realize that he's a pretty two-dimensional character.

See? Oh, my God. And that by simply describing what you've learned about him, you will satisfy the meaning of the interpretation of the painting, a representation of the very self can be repeated back to him and that it would reverberate and break the spell, re-swapping Knuckles and Gronker back into his frame. And you do that.

You start to describe what you remember from this documentary, and you are able to... Documentary. You're able to... Give a path into the walls. Even as he is blinded and wheeling about, and even as you are starting to prepare for combat, Glitzy, you're starting to prepare your bombs.

You're going in, you're hearing the words, and you're seeing it soothing, the savage beast and almost like a flickering he's replaced by knuckles and then he's gronkerer and then he's knuckle and then he's gronker

and then pop there's this great sound this crack a break in the arcane magic what held knuckles and you see knuckles there standing before you shimmering I need to roll wisdom saving throw as you

enter my 20 foot cube not for One. Sam, you begin giggling. You're incapacitated and you use all movement to move in a random direction. You're affected by the spell,

but you're back and you're no longer trapped inside a forever painting, perhaps. The four of you still stand there, and you feel your eyes starting to float about and you realize. Help us gone, grown. Another engagement like this could be even more serious, even a simple painting in this room

by the merit of just looking at it will trigger the same magical... Let's fucking go to the dinosaur room or whatever. Did I get a sense that I could walk from like a painting to another painting? No, you didn't look right and suddenly there was like a new scene right there. You were in a world. If you've ever seen what dream may come, you were like paint for a brief year. I was thinking of that, like, can we go to a painting, like, and the hallway they were going to?

And, like, go to the painting in the monster room. I really thought we'd be carrying you around as a painting. I can't remember if it's second edition or 3.5, but one of my favorite spells that hasn't made it to fifth edition yet, it's called Duo Dimension, where you literally turn yourself into a two-dimensional object and you can, like, walk Mario style. That's incredible!

Get through the crack of the door, and then, like, walk up the wall. So you can really do Paper Mario thing. Yeah, yeah, you can fold yourself. Mario Odyssey had a cool section. They made a Zelda game where that's the whole stick, is that you're 3D link and then you can turn into 2D link and go to 3 style.

Yeah, Mario Odyssey. These doors are obviously not alarmed in the like a capital A magical way. They're locked doors. No one is supposed to be in here. So you are able to, without looking at the portraits again, break through the next door and enter the monsters exhibit. I'm gonna use Agnesar's Scorch's Scorchurch. and I'm gonna blow up one of the doors.

Oh, okay. I don't want to risk, you know, nothing. The door has to make a dexterity saving throw. It fails, roll a D20. You're, you're... Do you want me to roll a D20? 17. I know, I'm trying, I'm like, I'm gonna get to happen.

Me too. Next time we do this, I think I might just feel like between one and nine. Then do that. I think there's a whole new version that makes a wild magic source for a more place. Yeah, because like, I have to roll a natural one to trigger my wild. Every time she casts a spell or uses one of her types of chaos. For a three shot doesn't work.

No. I think even for a campaign, it doesn't work. Change it. By decree of the DM, a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, or nine, a failed death saving throw will trigger a wild magic surge. I think that's fair. For your character in a three shot. Can I roll again with the new rules? Blowing open the door, you suddenly feel this feeling inside of you.

And I got a four. You may now roll a D-100 on the other. the wild-made magic search table. So this is just some like random insanity? Yeah. It's the chaos that Nikki deserves and loves. Two? Two.

Oh, shit. Oh, boy. Oh, no. That's gonna be that one. No, no, no, no. It's gonna be amazing. Hey guys. I'm here to gut you and wear your skin.

I'm a demon. And nowfetchney shows up. I get to roll on this table at the start of each of my turns for the next minute. Oh my god. You guys watch as Glitzy flies towards the door. It explodes into splinters. She disappears for a brief moment and you realize.

My wild magic begins, I start going, oh, ah, ah, ah, as all of a sudden you see sparks and glitter just shooting out of me as they start spinning and spinning and then in a puff of glitter, I disappeared. She disappeared. And you can't hear me. Mikey, do you want funky chunk or Cuban fan?

I want the Cuban fan. I always want the- What are you talking? That's the name of the songs. Yeah. Oh. So now. I was hungry.

I was going to be. Cuban sandwich being enabled as it is. What happens next? Next, major image appear, but I'm invisible so you can't see as three more memes appear beside me. Three more invisible glistie suddenly appear. Yes. But Glitzy, you can see three years. What is happening?

All of my hair falls out. It'll grow back in 24 hours, but my amazing Neonautie. My amazing neon pink Mohawk is now gone. Oh, that's what I'm an horse is. Three puffs of hair. You don't see, you don't see glitzy, but you see suddenly four fohawks suddenly explode into the air and start to go down like this.

You're all making a break for the door as you race through and into the Masters exhibit. And just as you cross the threshold, the next effect occurred. Okay. It's pretty punk rocked. A cloud of fog appears all around me. A pink fog suddenly emerges out of nowhere.

Is this a trap? Is this an alarm? Are you made? Is the heist over? What's happening? You'll have to look it up. I can't click on it right now. It's hard to see.

It's almost zero visibility and you are able to push through into the space. What happens next? Well, luckily, nobody can hear me, but for the next minute, I can only shout when I speak. Holy shit. And then finally, you see as well, you would see this if I wasn't invisible. I gained pixie skin.

I have resistance to all damn. for the next minute. Oh wow. I shrink by nine inches. So you're two inches tall? And this does not happen to did it's not like you shrink for this amount of time for so long. I shrink by nine inches and you're 12 inches right so you're three you're three inches tall. I was saying that I was like somewhere between a foot to a foot and a half so let's do a foot and a half so I am now nine inches I'm like nine inches tall. But yeah, you roll a D-10,

your height changes by a number of inches equal to the roll. If the roll is odd, which was nine, you shrink if the roll's even, you grow. Okay. Okay. How many more? Two more. Two more.

For the next minute, any flammable object you touch, the distant being worn or carried by another creature burst into flame. Okay. That's very me. And then finally, the last one, I turn into a potted plant until the start of my next turn. While a plant, I am incapacitated and have vulnerability at all damage.

If I drop to zero hit points, my pot breaks, and your form reverts. You roll the 42. Yeah. That was a 41. 41 to 42. Yeah, okay. That's fun. That's very Scott Adams.

So all of a sudden, Glissy clearly makes a obvious and evident attempt to burst through this door, and you see an explosion, sparkles. fireworks, fog, silence, and you crash through and you make your way blinking into the other space, knowing that you're free from the potential devastating possessive effects of the portrait gallery. But glitz is nowhere to be found, and you can't see the rest of the monsters or the items or displays in this space. You're all looking at each other, just huddled together, trying to get a sense of what's happened in this situation, as you are covered by fog in all directions. What do you do?

I meant just blow up the door. What the fuck? What are they putting in magic these days? This generation is these new yeets. And I'm going to try to run in the direction that we were coming into the monsters of it. You're five, ten, fifteen feet past the doorway at this point. And, you know, going in any farther,

you might run into a pedestal or run into a statue or run into some sort of a display or something. So the three of you stop, and looking down at the ground, you see what is a very modest potted plant with what appears to be a few very beautiful little flowers popping up from top. An invisible potter plant, though, right?

Yeah, aren't you an invisible? Yeah. No, I guess I'd be an invisible potted plant, but just tell my next turn. So it's only six seconds then. Yeah. And all of this is only for a minute. So it all just happens one right after the other, and that was the last one.

So I would turn into a potted plant. That turn would end, and then I would puff back into existence. So we'd have a minute of chaos having to either stop or try to get away from you or whatever. So first I go invisible. Then I have mirror images, which you wouldn't know. Then all my hair falls out. Then the fog cloud appears. And it's just, it's just crazy.

I hate this. This is the big one. Oh, I thought it was going to be a spooky Dracula. Already in a rot room. He's Easter room. I just, I hate that none of you can hear me for the entirety of this. Dear, our expletives,

only the gods know. We can't see. I can't hear you. Yeah, you can't see it. You can't hear me. And that was the first one. So I can't even like RP in the middle and then I go silent. You have the surge of magical energy coursing through you.

You feel the Faywilds just pouring out. of you. Everything I touch is catching. Like you see randomly just things catch on fire. Yep. As I'm igniting things. And then moments after you watch this chaos, it finally is the fire dwindles, the fog starts to clear and you see suddenly glitzy appear. Shorter, boulder.

Have you been taking that quail ecstasy? Oh, geez. What happened? And I was completely invisible and everything I said I had to scream. Oh, my throat hurt so bad. And then there were three more of me. I'm not even kidding you. Three more of me.

It wasn't just one. It was three. Oh, my hair's gone. Now you can see those tattoos I got when I turned 18. Oh. Oh, you should have listened to your mother. Yeah, I know. Oh, it's really horrible.

I got this symbol. They said that it was in ancient draconic, but I don't think it says what I think it says. Anyway. Oh, God. I've been there. Annie, I'm going to have to meet a dragon born that can tell me what I've done. Oh, I can read that. And then I created a four class.

I learned in a document. Oh, and then I was shouting when I was, I don't have to shout anymore when I speak. And that creatures had disadvantage on my saving toes, which had been really cool if I was trying to do anything, but nobody could see me or hear me. Then I had resistance to all damage, which was awesome, because I was lighting everything on fire. And then I shrunk by night. all inches. Can you believe it? I was already super tall, and now I'm less tall.

Anyway, then everything I touched caught on fire, which was probably the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. And then I turned into a potty plant. Have you been on that quail next to see? Have you been giving... Are you the one who was giving all that the Merry Christmas? Listening to Glitzy, it's like listening to someone

to describe a dream. She's been through... In 60 seconds or less, she's been through such an experience that It's almost impossible for her to articulate or for you to understand exactly what she's been through or how to grapple. But things are calmer now and looking around, the fog is starting to fade. That is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me. Is that what are the kids called a bad trip?

I'm pretty sure my nephew Vinnie. I think I saw my nephew Vinny do this after he met with that quayo. I don't know how this happened. What the hell that works? I don't know, but that's what happens. Rodey. She does look smaller. Well, I mean, technically, if her vocal cords are shorter than, you know.

But because I mean, when I sing. I didn't know a question. I haven't read a document about that. Because when I sing, I'm a contralto. This is the highest. Anything higher would completely destroy me. Let's hope you don't roll it again. And as you finish this sentence, you look around.

And you realize. And you realize that there's a giant bear above you. It's a taxidermied bear. On the other side. Who would have thought I'd get scared by a bear? That's pretty fucking funny. The skeleton of a displacer beast. On the other side, they're a more exotic monsters.

Aborations of all types, monstrosities. You can see in one corner there's a, what it appears to be a giant treasure chest. And with gold spilling out the mouth of it. And it's stanched off by, or rather, it's cordoned off by red rope stanchions. The sign reading, do not touch on the side. And turning your side, your eyes. Tell me not to do something and I want to do it.

To the center of this space. There you see your prize. The loot that you've been asked to thief this whole time. Standing on top of a massive, or rather positioned on top of a massive, massive frame, a stage, you see a platform. Platform is the word I'm looking for. A platform, you see the skeleton of this massive behir. And it's bigger than what Gino described.

This is the size of a huge creature, 20 feet long, huge ribs in all directions, connected to a multitudinous number of arms, a massive mouth that you can imagine. would it be a terrifying threat were animated and alive. But it is bleached bone. An ancient artifact of the Galtican area at first. It's storied history

starting very much in a place where these creatures were commonly found. And this is a remnant of that distant past centuries ago. Looking up at it, you remember why you're here. You need to find a way

to get this massive artifact out quietly. Right, Gina, remind us what's the plan for it? Before I mentioned the plan, I want us to pretend that we were back and we just got out of the room with all those flying porcelain and I turned around and I said, be my guest, dishes. Okay, that's when everyone, pretend that I say that. We retell the caper, that's what I said, okay? I like to think that if you hadn't already used your twist, you'd abuse it for that.

I have a flashback. Nobody heard it. I mean, you remember that I said it now. You can use the twist for mundane things. No, no, no, no, no. We don't want to. I can feel that. That's what I said.

The plan. Wow. Dun, dun, dun, done. Yeah, excellent. Yeah, what's the plan? I can't believe that's almost three inches. The plan, you look like a, you look like an action figure with, what is it, 16 points of, what is it called? articulation

articulation yeah she has 16 points of articulation funny enough this is a doll I found it on the floor you found it in it was one artifact that you were able to find in the Barovia room on the side it says

there's no fun as bad too I think that's great every time she opens her eyes she bleeds so it's those creepy eyelids it's those creepy eyelids that like do that Oh, yeah.

Mama! I'm gonna say it's a star. My mom! I didn't see the moon. So, you know, I'm gonna say it. This is the greatest step of my plan. We're gonna go up to the skeleton and we're gonna take a look. Oh man, you have a plan to make it.

Oh, no, I absolutely have a plan. Why you're asking me, I'm the mastermind? I'm the mastermind. You're mastermind. I'm the boss of this crew, right? I mean, we're really not even, I would have said we're a glorified crew, we're not even a glorified crew.

Okay. You walk up and you can, you would normally hear the clicks of your footfalls as you make your way across the marble floor of this beautiful museum, but you don't because of your moon cloud shoes. Oh, that's right. And you walk up and you stare up

at the great, huge skeleton, skeletal body of the be here. And it's time to execute your plan. Everything's gone according to plan, actually. For the most part, you have had the threats that were unexpected. But you have taken the shortest path from point A to point B as possible. And you are able to now do the thing that you're going to do to solve this ridiculous problem. So when I took on this job,

I knew that by hiring my dear friends Knuckles and Orla that they were gonna they were better under pressure and not being prams and under a time limit as I'm sure guards are probably rushing to us at this very moment and probably will come up with a really great plan and get rid of this behiftgleton all the way also we need it let me get this right your plan was what we'd come up with the plan yeah that's kind of what I'm thinking right That sounds about what I was planning. That's my masterful mind plan.

All right. How would you like to spend your twist? Can I kind of set a scene? You can set a scene. You can describe the solution. However you want to ease into the school. All right. So from down the hall where the actual party is going on,

we're going to hear goodbye, goodbye as the ending of so long farewell from the sound of music. Outfeiter saying goodbye. is wrapped up and suddenly all of my 10 children will appear down the hall in matching performance outfits. They're also wearing moon shoes. In a nice orderly line and the oldest will say, all right, what now, Mom? And all of my children have shown up to assist with deconstructing. They all have tools.

They pull tools out of their little pockets and their little coveralls. And we've got all the right size Allen wrenches, which we did all of that research before. Merry Christmas is looking pretty depressed. I think she might need to see a psychiatrist. I think that you get into that quail stuff. Merry Christmas, very good to see you. Gino, you know what? I know what you like.

I have lollipops for each year. Wow, you are all so big now. Ever since you all started going off to college or whatever it is that you rabbits do. Merry Barry. We briefly flash back to the moment that you described to your children exactly what they need to do in what order. And now, here they are. And this is why everything went according to plan, because you knew exactly how to get from point A to point B.

But you didn't know exactly what threats could potentially face this museum. And so as you were making your way through Orla, you have been quietly and sneakily making notes for the children so that they could navigate through the porcelain door. porcelain room, make their way through the portrait gallery without facing real threat. And now you find them standing behind you, interacting with the rest of the crew. I'll come through the portrait gallery with their rabbit ears covering their eyes. Easily, because you were able to set that up, and you find yourself now standing in front of the room, ready to give them the instructions, the tools that they need in order to perhaps. I have extras.

Deconstruct this massive skeleton and your children very obediently, because you are a great mom. Get to work. And you watch them get up together, pulling the wire apart, that hinge these joints, being able to pull the structure apart. Make sure you remember how that goes together, though, kids, there's gonna be a test. And very safe, oh yeah, okay, okay. And they have like little blue chalk.

You don't wanna repeat this great. They are IKEA in this set and putting it into boxes and boxes from nowhere, crates that are able to safely house this femur bone, this femur bone, this femur bone, this femur bone, this femur bone, this femur bone, 12 femur bones on both sides, ready to go. And what are the rest of you all doing as you are assisting the capricus crew, the children who are making their way, getting this assembly together? Um, so, I mean, this is great to roll in boxes, but how the fuck are we going to get them out of here?

Well, it's a lot of easier to transport it when it's all contained. And, you know, you know, this is why I brought. or a little long. It's like the old days, you know, before all of like the old ways got started getting weeded out, when in doubt, rely on child labor. You know, I mean, it's this child labor laws, it's regressive. Why do you think I had 10 of them? Exactly right. What's the, what's the street situation like on this side of the, this corner of the museum? You would know on this corner of the museum that there is a, as opposed to the other side where there is a tremendous head. edge maze. On this side, it's actually adjacent to a street. And so aside from a perimeter wall

that is between the street and a beautiful, like, grassy area and then the edge of the museum itself, you know that nothing stands between you and the rest of Galta, aside from those three options. So there's this wall, then a grassy area, then a perimeter wall. Exactly right. And the street. Yep. This soundtrack is so good. Are there any windows?

Each of these rooms facing out, you can actually see on the map, there are these tall, beautiful arched glass panes, huge windows that are illuminated by the blue light that shines against all sides of the museum. This is textbook, Knuckles. I know that you've been waiting for this moment. He's been waiting for this to be placing the box that very conveniently be loaded into something. It's like the Indiana Jones shit up in here.

I will, I'll look at all the boxes. I'll say, thank God I've followed this. And I would like to flash back to earlier in the day, or actually over the past week, to make sure that basically every night I would be going out. out and I would be in the what's the what's the the barrier wall like is it just sort of like masonry normal like classic masonry um probably eight to ten feet tall with some iron cast you know pokey's at the top um I would have been going out and then slowly kind of you know taking some sort of drill or something and just knocking a hole through that outer wall um and and to the point where I could get all the way through And then I would take sort of a big, like, iron hook that I could get through the hole and, like, have it hook around. And before we started our heist, I took my wagon and my two horses that look sort of inconspicuous. Wow.

But it is attached to a chain that's attached to the hook. And I will... Whistle. And then, so anyway, then we shimmer back to the present. I will whistle, and you will hear a loud crash as the barrier wall basically breaks, giving access to the wagon and the horses, and all we have left is these windows. And then you should have a giant rhino car. Let me embellish just a little.

As long as I'm going to be suspicious, I think. Maybe we'll go for a rhino car. Yeah, it was covered in bushes or something. I think it's way cooler than a horse and wagon. Gino told you from the very start. Bring the rhino car, Michael. That's right. Oh, my rhino car.

There he is. Gino told you from the start where to punch what the opening in this perimeter wall, that it was the final threshold, that once we got everything into the crate, of course the plan would come together and that you guys would be able to open the window, make your way across the grass, and get to the door. But how to get so much weight and so many crates with so many people out. and through without any suspicion. And similar to the film Rocky,

where you go out and you're duking and you're jiving, you started to take a new route on your morning jogs. You started to take a new route when it came to your regular training. You'd drink a gallon of eggs, and then you would run up to the side of the museum and sort of like, oh, I'm just punching the wall to toughen up my knuckles, right? Wrong.

You were hitting them in exactly the correct configuration, in exactly the right spots in order to, a finger push could have knocked over this wall without issue. And sure enough, as soon as it falls over, the four of you and the ten of your children with the crates under each arm are able to make your way through the windows and over the threshold of the grass and immediately to the getaway vehicle, which is what?

A rhino wagon. It's a rhino car. What's a rhino car? I don't know. I don't know. It's a, I have a very, well-trained pet rhino i guess if you want to have like you know mechanical hellfire and i don't know that's something cool uh it's it's sort of a kind of like like a like a higher

it's like a high-tech wagon that has like metal and machinery it's a little sturdier and it's a little armored in case we have some issues um some like magite tech stuff yeah yeah yeah armored probably yeah and the wagon would be open and it would be almost like uh you know Instead of your old school wagon, it would have like a big section in the back to store cargo, but then there would be two rows of seats for us to sit in. So like roughly the proportions of a stretch limo with a jacuzzi in the bag. No, instead of even going out, then if I would have done that, I would have whistled, and the rhino just would have charged through the wall and then through the window.

There you are. And just charge right in and silent up next to make more noise. There will be evidence of this heist, but it doesn't matter. A lot of you load up the crate. and the entire crew manages to make their way into the wagon and you guys sail down the street free, clear, and un-molested

and glad there's ten children here, Jesus. Thank you. And you make your way down the streets of Galtica towards the estate of Lady Grief where they welcome and expect you. I want to jump in here. Yes. Before I hand out a word was original to each one of these children.

I'm going to look at as we're driving away in the garden and we're seeing, and the heist that I mastermind has gone off without a hitch. I'll look back, and I'll say to no one in particular, but here today, but gone tomorrow. And that is terrible in the session. I'll say a few more sentences before we end this. because yes. Having gotten away, this is typically where you would write off to the sunrise, the sunset, the success, the victory. You have your loot, but you do need to

make it to Lady Greaves, and you do. You make it to her estate, the gates creak open, they welcome you inside. The servants of Lady Greaves start immediately unpacking the goods, and a hefty bag is thrown in front of you by one of the closest partners, one of these huge hulking people, almost as big as knuckles, 100,000 gold pieces looking inside. Sure enough. This is a bag full of fucking cash. You're carrying that. Oh, dog boy. This. Hundreds of pounds of gold. This, my friends, is exactly what we need. This is going to leverage us.

Thank you, Miss Lady, wherever you are. You make your work. way back to the base of operations very quickly. And you are now staring, all of you looking at each other's eyes and then back down. It glows. You can see the light of this gold, this huge chunk of gold against your faces. And looking up at Gino's face, you realize you were successful this evening. There is perhaps more to come. There is. And this was just the appetizer, after the appetizer, for the big one. And I know that I've joked about the big one being the heart attack, but finally kills me. You can turn this hundred thousand gold into millions. This is going to be the big one. And don't say, oh, Gino, you just have a gambling addiction.

Because, well, I have a gambling habit. It's very different. In one month's time, the 42nd Grand Fleemfell Championship will take place. And next door to Goodbury Square is a casino that'll let us place very large beds. And that's how we're going to make our millions. And college educations pay for. So that'll be where my cut is going. After we make, after we bet on the fleaimstone championship.

How is Mary Shelley doing? I didn't see her tonight now that she's saying. Oh, do we leave her at the... Oh, no, does she not make it out of them? I thought I had enough seats. It's not a matter of making a bet that Gino describes.

Oh, no. The bet that you will be making is yet another heist. The casino where the money is held by all the gamblers is the real prize. Exactly right. They house all of the gold

of every noble, every average citizen, the general populace, everyone who's going to gamble on what is the largest sport event every four years that could possibly happen. It is going to be carrying millions and millions of gold pieces. And if you're able to break through that secure vault, you are able to

very literally become nobles yourselves to live in comfort for the rest of your lives. That kind of gold. So we're stealing, we're not gambling, right? I have a good feeling about this up and coming underdog. team that the odds are really good, but that's a whole other different thing. I'll use my own funds for that.

You're gambling with your life. This will be an investment. We will make the heist when all eyes are distracted and all attention is on fleam-flin. So what you're saying is we're doing another ice. It's the big one. How much are we making from this heist? No, we're going to buy all the equipment and make all the preparations with all of this money from Well, hold on.

No. You're telling me that we just executed a heist. So we executed one heist and didn't get paid because that was a trial one that we weren't aware of. So that we could do this heist to get paid

to use this money to do another heist? You got to spend money to make money. I want to take money. No, that's what I mean. I want to take my portion and run. You got to spend money to take money. I want to take my portion and run. Do you know how much shiny?

How many... Do you know how much more shiny a pile of millions of gold pieces would be? I've never seen it before, but right now I'm looking at a pile of 100,000. This is barely polished. This is like, like one of those pewter mugs at the Renaissance Fair. Like a old old... You never go to a Renaissance Fair. Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah, no. At least a hundred of these gold coins are going to my kids because I promised them 10 gold pieces each to help me. I didn't sign off on that. What was from my cut? It's 100 gold pieces. You can give to children. Instead of a woman's original, you can give them 10 gold.

Okay. You know what? It'll teach them. It'll teach them about an honest day's work of crime. And it'll lead them towards the right path, especially you, Merry Christmas. You get, you know, you have an, you get 11 gold pieces. That's from my time. Yeah, they're only nine there.

Mary Shelley sure isn't here. Fine. Why don't we each get 100 gold pieces? So only 90 gold pieces to the children. We'll get 100 gold pieces each. We cut briefly to Mary Shelley having the epic battle of her life against a mimic treasure chest. And then we got back to this room. Oh, she's probably fine.

They all show up eventually. I want some gold to upgrade the Rhino car. Okay. I have some ideas. And to pay for gas. Well, you know, bribing your children and upgrading your car and maybe make play from a few bets. Already they're planning the next heist. We fade away from the...

from the window, and that is where we will call it tonight's session. The planning of what could potentially be the big one. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Evantris podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Higher to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas.

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