Legends of Avantris - Of Heart and Harvest | Curse of Strahdanya One-Shot: Part 1

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Spooky season continues with part one of this very special Curse of Strahdanya One-Shot featuring content from The Crooked Moon!   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/DPq-dmccBuo?si=DFU_vNh6DESFQUZR

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. All known each other for a long time. Many, many years. Good to know. You came together through one particular individual, Professor Clayton Azran. That's right. His intelligence and his curiosity

led him all over the world of Evandris, looking for new artifacts, cracking open mysteries, seeking the unknown, believing he could solve any puzzle and find any answer. And it is through this work that over the years, one after another, he picked up each of you. For the past few years, you have been working together as a band of glorified monster hunters. People from all over avatrous call on you at Miss Hallory University to come to their homes, their libraries, their cemeteries, to ward off evil spirits, to cure curses, to discover the secrets that lie beneath.

And it is for this reason that you find yourselves in a rickety black carriage as it rocks down a cobbled street leading you out of Brieg and into the unknown. For about a week prior, you received a letter. More specifically, Victoria received a letter. There was something in this letter that intrigued Professor Azran, and you all decided that you were going to agree to the terms and meet with one Trudanya von Zarovich. The letter read, My dearest Victoria,

It is with a heavy heart that I send this letter. Though you may not know me, I surely know you. I regret to inform you that your aunt, your mother's sister, and my dear wife, has passed on from this world. It has been nigh on a year since your Aunt Rowan passed, and I send my deepest apologies for not writing to you sooner. I have been overcome with grief and have only recently found myself again. I write to you not only to inform you of her passing, but to invite you to a celebration in her This time of year was always her favorite, and the yearly harvest festival was something she took great pride in. This year, the festival will be bigger and better than ever, in honor of my dear sweet Rowan.

I know you would have loved, I know she would have loved to meet you, and it would honor her memory to have you here. But lastly, for my selfish request. I know that you have found yourself in the company of those that seek out and uncover the truth and mystery. There are suspicious details about my wife's passing centered around an understanding of my wife's artifact that was unearthed in an ancient barrow in ancient barrows in honoring the memory of kin if honoring the memory of kin is not enough to entice you then maybe a full purse of coin and a bit of intrigue is enough to convince you to come to my aid i shall send a carriage to deliver you to my home ravenscroft manor in the town of duskvale i do hope you will accept my invitation i look forward

to meeting you all most gratefully and faithfully yours sradanya von zarevich and it is in that very carriage that you find yourselves now. Upon entering it, you noticed that it was not driven by a man or anything at all. The seat was left completely empty, and yet the reins were taught, and the horses, the two black mares, were under control. You were able to step inside the plush, red velvet seating was beautiful and comfortable and comfortable and cozy. the interior was warm and safe. A platter of delicacies was laid out for you,

steaming mugs of a sweet rose and blood orange tea, piping hot next to biscuits and cookies of all kind. And an invitation to her home. And that is where you find yourself now, rocking down the road, leaving Brieg, not knowing how long the journey will take you or where exactly it's taking you to. Clayton spent the better part of the week trying to uncover anything he could find about

dust. Why can I not remember the name? Dustville, right? Yes, thank you. Ducksvale. That's the problem. That's the popping into my head. I can't wait to go to Duxville.

As well as anyone names Dredaun Yvon Zarevich. But to his chagrin, he is unable to find anything at all about this place. But that artifact found in an ancient barrow that led to suspicious circumstances in the death of someone close to Victoria. Now, that's interesting. That's something worth investigating. And that is where you find yourselves now. Poor Aunt Rowan. I have to say, I'm not totally comfortable with you reading my mail, but I suppose it's a good thing we are going to go.

We all read your letter. Well, you know, with my... I read it twice. With my supreme divination abilities, I could just tell that it was somewhat relevant to our purposes. Isn't that right? Mysterium, Incorporated. Miss Isaacs, let me start by saying, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you, Mr. Shep.

But more importantly, did anybody see any rum? I'd even settle for some whiskey. Oh, there's alcohol. Thank you, and I help myself. It's a nice space, Ram. It would be quite a long ride. Are you sure you want to dive in so early? Yeah, I'm sure.

Indulge in the poison of the body as you do, the poison of the mind, Shepherd. You call the poison? I call it the antidote. Well, I mean, what we have to understand is that we're on a spooky, spooky stagecoach with no driver. We don't really know the destination.

How long it will take. It could take maybe several hours or several weeks. It is quite comfortable in here. I think they've appointed us very well. My first question was going to be. How far is it? But there's all this food and pastries, muffins, rum. We're going to be fine.

Cheers. You bring a good point, though. How far is it? You have no idea how long it will. Thank you. Clayton spent the better part of a week trying to discover where this place was, and you could find nothing.

There is no information on this place. Yes, quite curious. None, professor? This veil of dusk. Oh, I could not. Define this location of my green dreams. Sorry, sorry, nice. Feeling all right?

Oh, I would speak, Jimmy. Y'all, you sure you're all right? I think he's having an episode. Yeah, that's one word. Or it. Fetch a piece of leather for him to bite down on in case he needs it. Oh, okay, one moment. The old gods.

Muffin. Muffin. Are uneasy, the deeper we tread into the strange land of the... I mean, come on, Sarnax. Look, we're looking for something. We're looking for people. At the end of the day, it sounds like there might even be some treasure. Treasure, artifacts involved, nice little payday. Come on, what do you think, Professor?

Well, that is precisely what I plan to investigate. It is just pure convenience that Victoria has a familial tie to this. Roll of Constitution saving therapy, please. Oh, yeah, I'm also going to investigate the treasures and artifacts. I'm right there with you, Professor. Did you say Constitution? I did. Oh, fuck, it's this paper thing.

You're looking over the glass. You get plus four. You do this every time you look over the glasses. These are gonna magnify the vision. They look cool, damn it. Oh, professor. 18. How many dreads do I have?

Oh. You're two dreads and we have 21 twists. Two twists. Oh, am I feeling faint? No, right. Oh. What does it say? What does what say?

Weren't you reading something to us just now? No, he was just rather inappropriately saying that it was convenient that it was convenient My dear Aunt Rowan has passed. No, no, I'm not saying it's convenient that she's dead. I'm just saying it's convenient that you're related to her. Victoria, weep not, for we all return to the soil and bring about new life.

I suppose that is comforting on some level. Thank you, Samans. Death is required, Victoria. Yes, very good, Sam. It is a good thing your aunt is dead. All right, Mr. Salmon, thank you. You're very welcome. I can reassure you.

you again if you enjoy hearing it. It is a good thing your aunt is deceased. She's returned to the soil, returned to the earth. Sarnan. Consumed by the roots of new life. For all the gods, someone. Funny, I do not get you. You are quite the conundrum.

Perhaps it is all the time you spend with your cards and a dice. Maybe. And you let wheels. Yeah, well, I enjoy all of those. and coins. You spend a good hour riding out of Brieg and into forests and over moors

and deeper into the heart of Bargast, away from the Port City. This is all familiar territory to you. You've traveled all over a ventress. There isn't a place here that wouldn't be familiar to you in some way at this point. And it is comforting. and relaxing and you all partake in food and drink.

You enjoy conversations, the kind that really close friends tend to enjoy. You rib each other, but you all know that your hearts are in the right place. And it feels, it's almost too close to midnight. You feel like you feel tired as if you've been up all day and all night, but you look outside and it's barely twilight. Strange, this feeling of heaviness, this feeling of exhaustion that's overcome all of you. But you continue on. Tishen. Goal.

Your voice. Oh, yeah, forgetting words. Your words sleep, but your eyes are alive with the sounds of forests. Burning in a terrible forest fire. I'm not quite sure what that means. I think you're saying you need a drink, something to take the edge of. There's still a little rum left. No, no, there's still a little rum left if you want.

That's shocking. Muddled the mind and you muddle your purpose. Tea is all that I drink. Is that why you're so fit? And there is a beautiful rose and blood orange tea. How do you get these? The muscles on the side of the neck? I don't know. It's just amazing.

It's a lot of working out. Strapping witches to pile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, at least one of you has sense. I'll join you for some tea. There you are, Professor. Thank you. Good tea this.

Yes, quite. Yes, quite. What blend you reckon it is? Seems to be a rose and... Oh, citrus of some sort. Oh, citrus. No, you're quite right. I was getting cinnamon, but...

You're the expert. You spill a bit of tea on yourself as you realize you start to knot off as you're holding the mug in your hands. The hot tea seeping into your shirt joltz you awake as you... as you look around not realizing, or realizing that you had just dozed off a bit

in the middle of this conversation. All of these beverages and they did not consider providing egg yolks. Oh no, they did. Delicious. Finally. Some good fucking food. What in the nine hells, we're gonna get an egg.

There was an entire basket of rice. raw eggs in varying sizes. Did you bring there from home? They provided it. They were incredibly thoughtful, unlike some of us. And as you're speaking, you begin to doze off. And mid-sentence, you catch yourself falling asleep. I crackle the air.

I feel we're all a bit road-weread. I don't know. This feels like something else. Professor, do you think that they put drugs in the... And at that moment, you begin to fall asleep. as well. Because that's very generous, drug your expectations. Oh, you guys are just a bunch of voices. There's absolutely nothing.

And it is at that time that all of you fall asleep. It's a peaceful, dreamless, dark sleep. You are lulled for moments, hours, days. It's hard to tell into this deep sleep by the soft rocking the carriage on the road. And you eventually all come to roughly around the same time, suspiciously so. You notice that it is the dead of night. Darkness is just pooling outside the windows of the carriage. And as you look out, the first thing that strikes all of you is that this is unlike any forest you've ever seen before. This is unlike any place you've seen in Brieg. And you couldn't have been

asleep that long, worn on a ship. It wouldn't be possible, or Bargist, it wouldn't be possible to be anywhere but Bargist. And yet, as you look out into the night sky, you feel in your heart of hearts that you're not in Bargast anymore. And you look up at the moon, and it seems different. It's soft milk light spills over the lands around. and it's hard to really get a grasp of what this place truly looks like, but it's beautiful in its own way. The gnarled trees are large and tall. They reach out over the road, reach up towards the moon itself, almost as if they're grasping towards her, calling to her, praying to her. And the carriage continues to move along, rocking this way and that as it rides over the dirt,

pathway that leads you through these towering trees. The scent that hangs in the air is earthy. Sarnax, it speaks to you. This feels ancient. It feels old. Feels alive. This is the kind of forest you've been trying to tell your friends about. This is the kind of forest that speaks to your soul and you are in it right now.

The scent of the earth is delicious. of power no longer lost, civilization not tainting, the old places, the dark places. What exactly does that mean, Sarnax? Do you know where we are? Oh! No. Oh, heavens. Did you hear that, Professor? Yes, yes. I've... Could it be what we think it might be?

All I heard is that there's no chance of finding a gambling hole. Not likely out here. What I can deduce is that we have traversed through some kind of portal, either very far away or to another plane of existence entirely. But we are certainly not in Brieg any longer. Now we're never gonna get to Druskville. Duskville. Duxville. Duskvale.

Duskvale. Don't worry, I can't remember it either. I got it. Are you talking about Ducks? I like us. It's not even close. This is why you say things out loud over and over and over again.

There's probably nothing interesting in a place called Ducksvale. Maybe for you. Oh, that's fair. Certainly no robots, lasers or aeroplanes. I don't say that. That is non-canon. Hell, this whole thing's non-canon, funny.

You look at the camera. You said, yeah. The carriage hits a rock or a root and joltz forward for a second. You're all jostled inside. Tea and whiskey and rum and cake spill and clatter about the interior of the carriage. It is a mess in here. As you all write yourselves, the lanterns that hang on the inside,

the oil lanterns that have been glowing bright, dim for a moment. But then they increase and then dim again and stay softly lit. The darkness from the outside creeping in. And once again you hear the howling of wolves off in the distance. It's not like the howling of wolves in Breg. There's something different that resonates inside of their booming howls. Can't quite place what the difference is. But it's uncanny.

Just slightly off from what you would expect. You're right, Victoria. Could it be? I hate to get your hopes up, but... It does seem like it could be. At first, I thought it was just wolves, but... If it's... Whirl... Whirls?

Where? Wolf? No, no. Weirwolves. Oh! Werewolf? Like... Yes. Yes. Yes, where is from an old Brieg word meaning man, man wolf.

Oh, learn something new every day. Abominations, mockeries. Fascinating, all the same. I've been searching my whole life to see one in the flesh. The howling gets louder. You hear it on the right side and then almost echoes on the left. More than one? Hear it in front and then behind.

It's hard to tell is that, is it one wolf in the noise is bouncing off of the trees? that's completely possible. Are there more than one wolf to werewolves, hunt and packs? The moon is full and round and strange and not what you would expect. And you're thinking of all of these things as the sounds are almost disorienting you,

the way they bounce back and forth in this way and that and then the carriage hits another rock or another route, or was that something that hit the side of the carriage instead? You feel it rock to one side and you all hold onto each other and write yourselves as it rocks to the other It is very clear now that something is happening to this carriage, something you didn't expect

until all of a sudden the carriage completely slams to the side, slamming into the ground. All of you fly from your seats up into the ground. You're laying there splayed as the moon shines down, almost in a pillar next. You hear the winning of the horses. As they break away from the carriage, it's dragged 20, 30 feet as the horses wrench themselves.

themselves away from the carriage. You can hear them neighing in panic, in horror as they run off into the distance. The sounds of their hooves slowly getting softer and softer and softer as the moonlight shines down on you through the open window. You look up and all you see is the window and the moon. And no sounds.

Wolves gone. Just nighttime insects. Get out of my way. I'm getting out of here. Everyone all right. Oh, my God. and I'm gonna like push my way and climb up to this window, not caring what's going on around me,

and attempt to see if I can get up out and through and see what's going on. There is no pane of glass on this window. You push the curtains aside as best you can, and you begin to climb up out of the side of this carriage. You see the wheels on this side spinning and spinning and spinning, but they're slowly getting slower and slower. You notice that there is a broken,

part of wheel off in front of you. Clearly, one of the wheels on the other side had snapped and the carriage had completely toppled. Roll an investigation check for me. Something tells me you will get your wish, Professor. Oh, 19. You at first notice no difference. You notice nothing out of the ordinary.

But as you begin climbing out and you find footing on the ground, you see that there are deep claw marks on the very front side of this carriage. In all of the noise and commotion of being slammed against the side of this carriage as it slid across the ground being pulled by these horses, you must have missed the sound of whatever creature could have possibly done that.

But you remember getting into the side of the carriage. There were no claw marks there. And these are deep, deep gashes, as if something was trying to wrench its way inside. But all is quiet now. Where could that creature have gone? I look very closely at these marks and I basically yell out into back to the carriage

as people are maybe coming out and say, Hoorie! Professor, you're gonna wanna take a look at this. What did you see? Oh, this is a mark of a big old beastie. Yes, yes, finally. Watch your elbow, Tyshen. Let me get down.

Sorry. Excuse me, ladies first. Oh, fine. You're right, you're right, you're right, go ahead. Heavens, my petticoat! Oh, there's my shoe, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Mr. Shepard, I hold out my hand, daintily, for you to help me out. All right, come here. I'm gonna- Easy now.

I'll help you out and then help set you down next to the... Thank you. Easy there, all right, good, you all right? My goodness, what could have done that? I don't know, come on, gentlemen, get at her. All right. me out. All right, come on, Professor. Shake a leg. No, dilly dally. Come on.

Dillie dally. Also grab him by the waist. You are all able to climb out. Sarnax is lifted out in a similar way to Victoria. He is covered in eggs. Oh, come on. But he doesn't seem to mind. As you all find your footing on the dirt

in this strange land, on this strange road, strange road, and you listen. What could have made that noise, but you hear nothing? These claw marks. These, these, are they, oh. I want to very closely investigate all of the damage to the- Roller investigation check.

16. You take your glasses and you adjust them on your face. As you look closer at the gash marks in the side of the carriage. Yes. Quite. It is clear to you, at first inspection, it looked like something was trying to get in. But now that you look at these, these were nowhere near the door.

This was a warning. This was left on purpose, almost as if to tell you whatever this was was here. You were being watched. And as you come to this realization, you feel eyes on your back. You turn and you look behind you, there's nothing there in the forest line. You turn to look to the side, nothing there. You feel eyes on your left, you look, nothing there. No matter where you turn, you feel it.

Something primal. Your body knows you are being watched. This was not an attack. It was a warning. Made by a sentient being, almost certainly. Are you being watched, Mr. Morgan? And I will look at him and then I'll just kind of like look around.

I don't know. What do I pay you for? I'm a good shot when I'm drunk. Inspector. Is that your title? It is now. Inspector, please take a look around. Yes, I will.

I'll do my best to walk around the scene and like scope the tree line a little bit. Roll a perception check. I'll make sure this tree is sturdy. Bravo. Perception. You're so stupid. You're so stupid.

What perception? I'm fucking. Perception is. Wisdom. Wisdom. Wisdom. Wis 18. Oh.

Nice. That's pretty good. You look around the tree line, and you You are positive that there is nothing in the tree line. If something's watching you, you'd have to be quite far out. It is highly unlikely that the professor is actually being watched. He's clearly just spooked. He's clearly just uncomfortable.

Frightened. I see nothing that suggests were being watched from the tree line, professor. It seems as though you might not get meet your werewolf tonight after all. Damn it. Excellent thinking, Caprice. And I'll walk over and I'll sit down next to you.

And I'll slide back against the tree as you'll hear the as the bark of the tree will start to grow as it starts to consume me. I like cast a green dream. Oh. And I should be able to spend time to move my consciousness for trees in a one. one mile radius. Okay. 10 minutes.

10 minutes. Ooh. Okay. I'm doing one. I'm looking for werewolves. I'm looking, I'm trying to commune if I feel like the old ones and the old gods are powerful here and they're numerous. I would like to dive into that green sea and join the consciousness of the trees that see all they've seen, they've observed for longer and I'm attempting to basically for 10 minutes just, and it's like I'm suddenly omniscient. I need to take the time to basically go around and I'll fan out as, as very,

roots and trees, and some of these silly Caprice is actually napping, and I am, as roots and branches and wood start, and bark starts to cover me as I transfer my consciousness into the green network. You see through the eyes of the very land itself, and you have done this before. It is not as simple as seeing from tree to tree, but seeing all at once in pictures. the right place to look. As your eyes scan everything, looking for any sign of what could have done this, it takes you a full 10 minutes before you finally catch

just the barest glimpse of something. Hulking, dark wolf-like shadows, creeping just out of reach of your vision, heading in the same direction that this road would take you in, almost as if they're lurking, They're lurking, waiting, expecting you to maybe get comfortable and continue on your journey and not imagine that they would be up ahead, but behind.

You've seen their tricks. You know where they lurk now. About a mile up ahead. For the 10 minutes that you're doing this, I see Caprice's napping up with the tree. I see you look like you're napping up against a tree, but you've grown into the tree. I'm looking around the rest of you.

I go back over to the overturned carriage, and I'm grumbling as I reach in, and I go to find another unopened bottle, an unbroken bottle of alcohol. What has he paid me for? You gotta be kidding me. I'm the fun one. I'm the goddamn, everybody else,

a bunch of wet blankets, unbelievable. And I'm gonna stash a bottle of booze and then find my own tree to sit down next to and pretend that I'm gonna take a man. You find a really large oak, towering, larger than the others. It has beautiful not-work roots at the bottom that almost create a seat covered in moss.

It seems nice and cozy, and you sidle down into the moss and the roots, and it's a veritable ancient forest lazy boy. A throne fit for a sinner. Well, I'm glad you've all made yourselves comfortable, but is anyone going to try to fix the carriage? Fix it? What, we look like a bunch of mechanics? First, we have to make sure that one not in any danger and whatnot, you know?

Oh. Wait a little bit of a inspector. I want to call you. Is that where you're going to? Inspector. Inspector. I'm not going fire, bro. The inspector says it doesn't see anything haunting us from the tree lines.

You're all being silly. Well, I mean, uh, uh, uh, uh, Chacham over here. He's, he's, he's in the plants. He's in the trees. He's looking around. Very well. I suppose the horses have run off anyway.

Sarnax is a little weird, but he's doing his weird thing and it usually works out for us, all right? Usually. Well, something did this to the caravan. I think Sarnax will find the path and we hunt it down.

We're in a forest like this. He always helps find the way. I mean, you remember all those times and I made those hilarious jokes about seeing the forest for the trees. It was great. I laughed every time. Even if we fix the carriage, the horses are gone.

The horses. The horses have. have, they dragged the carriage with you in it for a good 20 to 30 feet before they were able to rip themselves from the, from the, how do you call that thing that they're connected to? Oh yeah. They're harnesses. Go to feel that one tomorrow.

And they have clearly run off into the woods. They were frightened, they were horrified by what was happening. Do you think that you could like use some of those muscles and just topple over the, I could help. And I conjure a hand with finger gloves and like patches. That's just like... What are you going to do with that?

I mean, I could give it like a little, well, you're... You know, you've got all the biceps and the triceps and the triceps and the quad-seps. Why would we even need to get the caravan back? Oh, you've noticed my quad-sex. Why would... Why would we...

Why don't we even need to get the caravan back up, right? The horses are gone. Well, I... If they come back? Comfortable to sit while we wait. Maybe they'll hit a town of them. Someone will come for us. I suppose.

I don't know why I didn't think of this. Hey, horses! We're good. We're all right. All the branches and the roots snap away from it. Never get used to that. It's surprising. The beasts lurk in the night.

Which direction? The hour of the wolf, the direction of our destination. There is intelligence there. Lupine in. indeed, but just out of range of my dreams. They call, they wait. Let us give them the death they so eagerly call for

as they howl in the night. We can kill them, I suppose, but I at least want to encounter one. But they could kill us. No, I don't really. That's true. I mean, look at us. Look at us. Look at us.

Look at us. Hopefully you're just a hobo, but the rest of us. Look at us. I don't think you haven't paid me yet. It's been seven years. I need to get back to my family. I don't pay hoboys. You just don't leave. Caprice.

They might be able to kill us, and that, my friends, is exciting. It would be if it were true, but we know that that's not the case. Oh, Tashin, it's not fun if you wait every time. When you speak with arrogance, how can you possibly know? unless you fought them before. I have faith. I have faith that Fugin will guide my axe, and anything that comes to us will be cleaved, head from shoulder.

It will be a great battle. They are a mile away, waiting for a meal that will not come. But if we all fall and provide sustenance to these wolves, it will be right. Man, I just love the stuff Tashan and Sornak say, whoo-hoo! You guys are bad. Ready, your God. Tell him to prepare for blood.

Caprice, ready. That's what I'm talking about. My hand is returning from the carriage with another puppet. Caprice. Ready, you a pocket of rusty nails. Oh, Sarnax is funny. I'm gonna actually full of them today. This is what I'm talking about.

Damn! The rusty nails are all the way at the bottom. Muffin, muffin. You have a pastry. Muffin. Bougouzhou is always ready for blood. As you should be, the old ones will drink and enjoy the sacrifice, no matter how the battle goes.

Brace your riders down. With what? Ah, damn, those are some good ones. I will attempt to better understand our predicament where we are. I will peer beyond and see what I can learn. And I will reach into my jacket, and I'll pull out a large pearl, almost. It's huge. You know, it fits in my hand, and it's very slightly translucent.

It looks almost opaque, but it shines with almost an otherworldly perlescence. And I will take it in my hand, and I will just stare into it. And as I stare, just for a split second, you'll see a flash of a bright orange eye with a vertical black pupil. Oh my goodness, steady yourself. Good fortunes.

Good fortunes today is. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I was granted, granted, good, good, good, good tidings from beyond. I believe these are werewolves. And mechanically, I used the Pure Beyond feature. And I rolled these two dice earlier today. But I went to represent mathematically. A 19 and it was a two.

Whoa. And so I get to choose one of them to be my madness pool. What? And I chose 19. And so I'll leave it. at that. Oh, no. Okay. Okay. What a chat. Wow. I just also want to point out real quick, we'll get back into it. We've got like, you know,

Primson Dynasty, you're like peering into the madness. He's like, with the trees, you're like this witch hunter, and then we got like Dary. ...Hobo and a guy with a drinking lover. But he's got a lot of muffins. Yeah. And I'm pretty good. So you think they're good? You seem confident and fine, so I'm ready to trust you.

No, yes, we should stop at nothing to find these werewolves and try to communicate with them, learn what we can, and perhaps kill them. All right, I'm in. Either way. Did I get a sense of, you know, I'm just going to sort of try to use all of my sensory abilities, including anything I may have gained from beyond the veil.

what direction these wolves might be in. Or actually what direction. Starnex already told you that it's just following along the road. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's continue then. I say. None of that happens. All right, professor, lead the way.

And so you do that. Conveniently for you, these wolves are along the path that you're traveling, almost as if it were written that way, for ease of, for the sake of property. But you, you watch. the rough mile that Sarnax indicated that these were wolves would were located and it takes you about 15 minutes at the pace that you're going you are not trying to move too quickly or too slowly you are keeping your senses trained on the

tree line all of you working together to listen for any noises that would would indicate that the wolves may be lurking somewhere within that that werewolves may be lurking somewhere within. And you take about 15 minutes or so before roll your perception check. Oh, natural. I am perceptive. My name is Sarnak and I speak for the trees, motherfucker. Oh, it's natural 20.

Oh, first one. Perception's whiz. Yeah. Two. Ooh, a four. 10. I got an eight. 25.

Damn. Victoria, Sarnax. The both of you are alerted to the noise before anyone else, and you put your hands out to stop the group as you listen, and you hear the deep, deep breathing with a subtle growl to it. Just step ahead, right in the very edges of the tree line, as if something's waiting, something's lurking.

And it's in that moment that you notice this, that you immediately feel the same thing that Clayton had described to you of being watched. As all of the hairs on your skin prick up and you feel a breath on your neck for a second and you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that something is watching. I will hold my hand up and then with my other hand,

I have a set of blood-red beads around my neck. I'll class of them, and we are certainly not alone any longer. See, I'm not mad. I told you all. The beast is upon us. He said you were mad. Professor, just hang on there. I've heard you whispering, Mr. Morgan.

Don't think I don't. All right, it's all just take a deep breath. And take a look around and see what's going on. We mean you know home where we'll live. we just wish to learn. You hear skittering in the tree line, branches, cracking, rubble being moved this way, the leaves swishing,

and you hear it rushing towards you in the tree line, and then silence, an unnatural silence. This sounded large, whatever it was. I wonder if they understood me. I will towards the group, and I'll say, regardless they mean to strike, prepare for blood. The old gods will drink well. And you'll hear my whole body start to creak and the cracking of wood

as my scales will darken in color, and they'll turn to a bark as roots and branches will grow out of my skin around my head, almost like antlers for a moment before they wrap around, as from my arm will form a, um, huge gnarled wooden club that is like dripping with this black sap. As on my other arm growing out, nodding more and more and more, basically forms like a circular shield and within it are three dark holes that look like two eyes

and a mouth and the eyes are like weeping with the same black sap as I use my Woodwoes wild shape feature. Oh, that's so hard. Fuck yeah. The crooked moon.com. I can't enjoy really bad-ass fucking subclasses! As I will hold out my shield and I'll hold out my club. As I will look.

This is not quiet, the transformation that he undergoes. And you immediately, once again, hear that same sound from the tree line as if something is mobilizing, something is moving. It is getting closer and closer. You feel almost claustrophobic as if there is something surrounding you. Oh yeah, Sarnhacks, you don't piss them off now. They wanted to keep us from something. Let's see what it is. There's no evil shall escape my sight.

And I take my Libram off my hip, and it's this brown, like pebbled brown leather tone, ridged on the edges with silver on the sides of the book. And I close my eyes. eyes and it'll open and the pages will start to fly through themselves and it'll stop very briefly and you might just even catch a glimpse for just a moment on the page that it ends on the shape of what it seems to be a wolf and I snap the book shut and I open my eyes and they're engulfed in a golden flame and I cast divine

sense. Oh, oh. As an action you can detect good and evil until the end of your next turn. You can sense anything affected by the hollow spell or know the location of any celestial fiend or undead within 60 feet. You utilize this ability and you reach your senses out expecting to pick up on anything. But you are met with silence. It seems as though this even escapes my sight.

And it is in that moment that you hear You hear a cacophonous choir of howling as six gigantic dire wolves leap out of, leap out of the tree line and attack all of you. All right, Mysterium Incorporated. Kill the wolves. Look how dire they are. Maybe next time.

Damn it. Oh, that's great. The Bates. The Bates. That's so cruel. It's so cruel. Make you next year, buddy. It's on the back.

Will it never beware of this? It will never be. Let's never be. Producer Rick over here. Zarex and Tashin are gonna be up in the lead, and the door will be close behind. Well, we have to watch the ground. It's icy, and if we slip.

I need 20 to 25. Oh, I got a lot of my initiative here. Oh, that's pretty. Oh, that's pretty. Pretty good. Damn. Roll this very large dice. Uh, one minute. Oh yeah, I got an 18.

So I'll wait till after you see 20. Oh, no. What's the ad for initiative? Yeah. Dexter. Dex. Just text. Yep, just straight, thanks.

Once we established the initiative, actually, while everybody wants you established the initiative order, I would like to describe my class picture. Yes, please. You got it? 20-25? Anybody get 20 to 20. Oh, Sarnax.

Look at you. Oh, buddy. 18th, roll ship. 19. Oh. Which one of them? Oh, yes. I feel like very lazy.

Your groom. I don't have initiative cards, so. Marius. Say you do. Who else? Who was there? Lethika goes right here between York Grim and Marius.

Yeah. Then it's the wolves. Does anybody else smell pie? Damn, we all rolled high. I got ten. Except for plate. Because you're just like, let's kill them. Kill the woods. Dial-wows again.

And now, for the first time, I get to use sinners gamble. After rolling for initiative or as a bonus action, I get to roll 5d-6s. Yee-haw! I got a 1, a 2, a 3, a 3, and a 4. And what I'm looking for is a pair, two pair, two pair, Three of a kind, a full house, a street, four of a kind, or five of a kind. I can, I got a pair, I can keep that, or I can use another instance of sinners gamble, re-roll any number of these dice, and look for another bonus.

So for now, I'm going to keep my pair and get ten feet of movement for the next three rounds. That's pretty cool. Let's fucking go. Damn. The game is on. I pictured an animated shepherd, like the animation at the beginning of Jurassic. park with the DNA guy. You're like, yeah. Now I got a full house.

And there's frog DNA and all sorts of good stuff. The crooked moon if you won this rogue subclass. I can use sinners gamble up to the number of times with my proficiency bonus, which is three. Um, uh, sorry next, your turn. You are not considered surprised because you knew they were at the tree line. Oh, thank you. Uh, I am.

I'm going to, oh gosh, I'm going to run at them with my Wood Wows transformation, as I will say, it may be the hour of the wolf, but it is also the hour of your death beasts, and I'll run up just to the first one, as I will have my club, which will be just dripping in sap, as I am going to, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh. Oh, you should be on the first one. Okay, I will use my bonus action to, to, as I'm running at them, suddenly all of the wood that's on my body, which is sprout into spiky thorns

and brambles, as I cast wild thorns, a new spell, as a bonus action, and for the duration of the spell, which is an hour, any, anytime I'm hit with a male, The attacker takes 1D6 Pearson damage. So I run up and I attempt to make an attack with my large club. And I think I just have one attack here. It's a two.

I'm gonna use a twist it. I'm gonna use a twist it. Absolutely, twist that. Yeah, yeah. Make sure you keep track of your twist though. You don't have that many. Yeah, we don't. I'm going to save my twist.

Mr. Madness? Oh, wait, do we twist? Yes. Just once. Professor Madness? Yes? I mean, that's not my name. Who said this?

And so, did it hit? Oh, I don't know. I miss. I'll just swing. I'm just covered in wooden bark. What was the hit? Oh, I mean, it was three plus. I don't know what your plus the fit is, to be honest. She'd be a plus eight.

Yeah, it's 11. Miss. 10 hits. 10 hits? Whoa! Oh, wow. Now I know where they're called Dyer, wolves. It's smashed in as I get you in shot.

some beefy damage because I'm a wood woes. I'm gonna use my... Oh, why are you gonna tell me? You could have forgotten an entire hit. Is eight points of bludgeoning damage. And as I hit this, Wolf, the sap from, that is oozing from my mallet or my giant club will seep into its fur as you'll start to the,

is it'll start to kind of, its gears will twitch as it hears the voice of the old ones. And it will be disadvantaged on attacking anyone but me. Okay. You slam your wood woe mallet. What is it, club club? Club, club into the wolf. It lets out a, this dire wolf, it lets out a painful shriek

as it takes the full brunt force from this new form, doing a significant amount of damage. It already begins to crumple to the ground, but it writes itself and continues to snarl at you. That's my turn. Taichan. Thank you very much. I run up to this.

This diar wolf. And with my giant gleaming great axe, I will swing at it twice. That dire wolf's name is Jeff, spelled G-E-O-F. Which number? That is... They don't have numbers. Let's do numbers.

Oh, I didn't do numbers. Just... Anyone with a pen, you can number them, real quick. Whichever one Mike attacked was number one. I'll do so. So this is number two. No, just fine, just put that in for a mic.

Okay, so three is Jeff, got it. Jeff. Blast 25 to hit. Oh, yes, that hits. All right. Oh my. And now, now smite. Yes.

Is that an action? Yeah. Or if I hit with an attack, do I just say that I'd like to smite? As a paladin, if you land an attack, you can then expend spell slots, I believe up to two. to empower the attack with a smike. And it's 1d8 per spell slot, extra 2D8 for spell slot used.

That's correct. Now I believe that's bread and butter palette. Yeah, that is just straight up paladin. So if you want to expend one spell slot, you get to add an extra 2d8 damage to your hit. The cool thing is you do get to wait till after you if it hits, because then if it creates, you just go absolutely ham and double all the dust.

So if it hit, then you can smite. Is there my way you tell me what their max health is? Is that cheery? Is that true? That would be cheating. I would say you watched Sarnax bludgeon one and it seems like it's barely holding on. What is bludging?

Wait, how much damage do you do? How much blood? You wouldn't know. I don't remember. But in one hit you saw that he did. It's important to me. All right. I'm gonna do a 15 damage and I'd like to know how this guy's looking.

Well, we should talk about this. Yeah. We should talk about this. The feature, as I believe it, is you have to land the hit when it's out of quarter, not like, bring it down. I thought I had to that. You, motherfucker, no, no, no. Okay, I deal 15 damage.

You know for that nonsense. I know 15 damage, I like to know how this darn wolf. To which one? The three. Make it a quarter. You, and how are you doing this? My giant, great axe, as I grab it with my left hand, I was resting it over my shoulder, I swing down

and try and cleave through it with 15 points of damage. But I don't want to kill it if it has won't. Yeah, so I would say that your feature will activate when the creature is at a corporal or less. Not if you bring it into it, right? It's a bonus action. The General Divinity? Yes.

Yeah. All right, guys, all right. I'm excited. I'm just trying to pop off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just attack. Just attack. Yeah, 15 damage. Where are we at? You bring your mallet, you grab.

Great X. Sorry. the handle of your great axe. I'm getting great axe. And you swing it down, completely cleaving this dire wolf in two. Damn it! It screams out in pain as the life leaves its eyes. I want you roll a perception check for me, please.

But it does, it does die in that hit. Oh, wait now. Oh, well, stupid weak wolves. I admit like eight, I think. Uh, eight. Eat. You notice something strange for a moment, but something about its eyes catches you off guard for a moment.

As you continue to stare, you shake your head and think to yourself, it's the forest and this, everything about this is unsettling and you saw nothing. As I cleave it clean in half, the blood sprays against my face, and I turn back and look at Shepard with a gleaming grin and say, it is still quite, quite fun when you win. Ha ha ha! That's the Tashin, I know. Lathaka is you, Caprice.

This is so hard. It's so hard. It's a difficult lineup, yeah. It's a difficult lineup. I'll, you know, I'll just sort of do one of these, like, spin on my foot, like, and start to turn away. You guys got this. You're doing great. Well done, Ty Shen.

I'll back up to where the professor is. And I'll start to, And I'll play a joyful tune, and it's so joyful that all of you feel inspired. I will spend my entire turn, action and bonus action alike, to give everyone spending two of my Bartik inspirations, up to my charisma modifier, a Bartic inspiration. So each one of you benefits from a 1D8 that you will enjoy just like you might normally any other Bartik inspiration. Oh shit. And you can add that to an attack roll, to a saving throw, or to an ability check. in the next 10 minutes, which is comment being as difficult as it is,

I probably imagine, will be spending all 600 rounds, but. And I back up and I just sort of like put my arm on the shoulder of the professor. Muffin? I'm actually a bit peckish, please, please. You use your reaction, eat the muffin. That's fine. I'm just kidding.

No, I will, I'll do it. And that'll be the conclusion if you make me. Shepard. I see everything that's going on here. I'm going to use all of my movement, 15, 20, 35, 40 to kind of swing way out. And as I'm moving, with a quick flick of the wrist, you kind of see this smoky, misty magic.

We're out of nowhere, almost from etherealness into solidity, two weapons, guns. Ranged weapons appear in my hand. And I say, thank you, grinning's center, as I bear down on number six with my arms. my weapons Kulev and Flambeau, which are the serpent and the torch. Oh, yeah. And I'll make two attacks.

I'll make two attacks. Um, I'm gonna do it on number, uh, shit, I'll do it number six. Okay. Um, 12 and 17 to hit. Both of this hit. I unfortunately don't have one that I can attack without absolutely obliterating the one that Sarnax is on for sneak attack damage, so they're just gonna be regular attacks. Two points of damage.

You let loose, what kind of energy or effect to these radiate? A wise man once said, voodoo go. You let loose two bolts of harnessed voodoo magic. You let loose two bolts of harnessed voodoo magic, and you blast into these dire wolves. These wolves are gigantic. They tower over you, but they are dropping so easily.

It's just like everything else you've experienced here, strange. As this one crumbles, but it is able to write itself as its slobbering maw is angled towards you. It looks angry and hungry for blood. And then as a bonus action, I'd like to use my cunning action to attempt to hide behind a spooky old, Okay.

Can you do that? They are going, I can't really see the map at all. I got you. So. Do you know that that helps you at all? It doesn't. They are going to all surround the orange and the green. I don't know who those are.

Tash and sarnets. Yes, they are going to use their movement to do that. There are three on me. The three on you are going to make their attacks, they are at advantage because they are pack tactics. This is right. All of them will hit. How do you know?

Because they rolled over 20 for every single one of their attacks. Oh, yes. Ah, fuck. Good thing you cast wild thorns, which is a crooked moon spell. Ooh. Cookeen moon, you said? I did. My goodness.

One is going to miss, and then the other one's going to hit with the 20. But not a non-natural 20. What's the damage? 20 to hit. Oh, sorry. Yes. They are all going to lean in and begin to bite you, Sarnax. All of them finding purchase on you.

I need you to make three strength saving throws, please. Oh, boy. Oh, that's a good one. I smash it. 21, and then, actually no, I guess 19, and then 10, or they're 11. 11. You're gonna take 22 points of piercing damage

from all three of them. They're all going to take two points of piercing damage. Which numbers? Which, oh, one, five, and six. If you just failed the saving three, you could use your inspiration. Oh, I'm already prone. I'm already, I'm already found.

You need 13 for the saves. Otherwise, you're not prone. You should. Oh, plus four. And you, oh. Yeah, you get, I'm still standing. They all lunge at you. You feel the teeth pierce into bark and flesh and scale

as they attempt to begin to consume you. They are ravenous in their attack on you, and they're working together as a unit, not splitting up, but picking a target and going for it. The same thing for you, Tyshan. One of them is distracted by the smell of blood as Sarnax is attacked and it does not, it misses you all together.

The other one does five points of piercing damage and a strength saving throw place. The old ones drink well tonight. And I am bleeding like profusely, but I just, I don't care. Like I'm kind of, it's hard to tell what is blood and what is the tree sat. Yeah, exactly. What did you get?

22, strike save. You, it's clear that. It's clear that they are trying to knock you to the ground to begin feasting on you, but they are unable to topple you. You have quad-seps. You are incredibly strong. And they do, they're not successful in their endeavor. And that is their turn.

Victoria. Okay. I'm going to look around and I too seem a little distracted by all that one. I would raise my hand and see some sort of like a splash of blood that's come from, I can't really tell what, maybe it's the wolves, maybe it's my compatriots, but I will raise my hand up and the blood will float up and then I will fling it out, fling my hand out towards number six and attack the blood bolt. Oh, I love that.

So as it flies towards number six, the iron in the blood was solidified almost into like a metal dagger. and then a blood spike. A blood spike. A blood spike, if you will, yeah. Okay, okay. So make arranged spell attack. Oh, yeah.

15 kilos. That's it. Plenty. Okay. So you will take 1D6 necrotic damage and then please make a Constitution saving throw, and that is to number six.

I'd fail. Okay, take four necrotic damage. and using this excellent Crooked Moons spell, blood bolt, I will regain hit points equal to half the damage dealt by... Great, so you will get two points of healing from this blood bolt. You watch as the blood seems to split,

and as it turns into a weapon and pierces into the flesh, you watch as the rest of it returns back to Victoria and slams into her chest, revitalizing her. I will lick my lips and... This wolf is almost laying on the ground. It is struggling to move at all.

Victoria, I want you to make a perception check for me, please. Oh, me. That's very good. Six, 11. Yes, with an 11, you watch this animal. And the first thing you know, notice are its eyes. The way the eyes are moving, it's as if it's watching things that it wouldn't be

in this situation. This wolf, this dire wolf is clearly dying. It is near inches from death. And it is struggling to even regain its footing, but it's not staring at the ground and the way its paws are slipping on the dirt and the blood as it tries to right itself. Its eyes are darting from Clayton, the Sarnax, to Caprice, to you lingering, watching, taking you in, as if there is something behind the eyes controlling it. Oh, like that. Clayton.

I will wave my hand and my case, will whip up and open up, and from it levitating will be this massive tome with a ruby embedded in the front of it. Yeah. And it's almost like, it doesn't look like a human made it. It's made of patches of skin

that might look like cuddlfish or there might be scales, maybe like a tooth or two. And I'll wave my hand again, and it's going to flip open and I'll start flipping through it. This is the one. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, calikile, halasha, halasha! And I'm going to cast a badass. Suman voidling. Oh, and my... Eyes will roll back, and right here, a almost tear in reality opens up.

A tear in reality will open up, and they will feel very cold anyone near it as they peer into this dark, almost black water, sea. It's hard to tell. And then from the tear in reality, two orange eyes will alight as this, this inky black creature that looks part cuttlefish, part lobster, and it has sort of spines down its back as it's going to come out and basically leap out and latch onto one of these,

let's say this guy, so we'll say he's right here. Which number? Attack number one. Okay. And he'll like head crab it. He's already pretty damaged, though. I don't know if you want to do like a fresh guy. Oh, yeah.

I smash. I know, I think that's fine. He called it already. Okay. Okay. All right. Touch piece, move, piece. Yeah, that's right.

Touch piece meets. Oh, jeez, professor. What was in that muffin? Is that a cuttle fish? I'm losing my fucking night. More than you know. 14. 14 hits.

It is going to do. Six, seven. Seven. Seven points of damage? You watch as this tear in reality opens, and from this endless incomprehensible sea, this voiding creature darts out and attaches itself to the face of the wolf.

And you watch as in a split second. It's hard to understand what this entity is doing to this wolf, but you watch as its head almost cracks and shrinks in on its twisting and reforming again as it lets out this scream that is otherworldly, a type of scream that lungs of this creature would not be possible of making before you watch it as its eyes turn inky black and then perlescent white,

and then inky black, and then you watch as the dire wolf falls dead. And then I will say, now die! And I'm going to spend three madness points to make it explode. Oh, God! At the end of its turn. In a 10-foot radius, so that's basically everybody here.

Make a deck saving throw, or your movement drops to zero out of pure fear. Or I can spend additional five madness points, and it's a paralysis if you fail. So I'm just going to go Nova with all my madness points because I rolled high today. What the fuck? Yeah, so deck save or you're paralyzed until my next turn.

Which ones? Every wolf? 6-5. Tyshan and, sorry. Plus four. All the wolves. So roll deck saving throws. They both lose.

They both fail. I rolled a five and a four. Plus four. So this creature starts to swell and swell and burst. And all of a sudden. Or the, the, The avoid length that I saw in.

And the spikes all of a sudden, instead of kind of going down its back, all point out almost like a puffer fish. And it starts to look distress and it bursts. And Icor and spikes fly everywhere. And hopefully you guys can dodge him. I dogged it. I hate when he does this. My eight old shield is going to get completely covered in guts.

So they failed. They all failed? Yeah, they're only two. Two of them they're in. No, they're on. If it's 10 feet, he's here. That is. Oh, I was told five and six.

Not two. So four, five, and six. Oh, so four as well. Just one more. Yeah, four as well. Okay. But DC's only like 16. Okay.

And it's a dexterity you say? Yes. Okay. So four saves, five and six failed because they rolled four and five. Five and six are paralyzed. Nothing happens you have you saved. You're good. You've dodged down.

It's no damage. It's not a damage. It's not a damage. Just the horrific paralysis effect. We're not trapped in the force with his wool. Sorry, X. This is my turning? Oh, wow, that was quick.

Good. I am going to, oh god, I wasn't ready for this. That was quick. Well done, gang. Thank you. Which is five or six, which looks weakest? Six. Six.

I'm just going to try to cuda gras. As he's covered in, is he paralyzed? Yes. Number six. So your advantage. And if you hit. Yeah, if you hit, it's an auto- I think it's an auto credit.

Yeah. I'll look at the wolf as it's paralyzed, and I will say, die will, my friend, is I'm going to just bring my, and I'm advantaged because he's paralyzed, right? Yep. It's still going to hit. Yeah, it's a 16.

So it's an auto-crat. Oh, is that how that works? Paralysis is the most of the most nastiest conditions. I think so. Oh my god, that's fucking nasty. That's going to be five plus 12 plus 14, 14, points of damage. Yes. You bring your club down on the head of this wolf and with a sickening

crunch, its skull collapses beneath the weight and you watch as the eyes that had been watching you almost too closely while this creature was dying as they go milky for a moment and then life leaves them completely. Okay, that's my turn. Uh, yeah. Action. Don't take all the fun, Sarnax. Uh, and I reach behind my cloak and I whip out a coil of iron rock chain as I cast a chain of conviction.

Uh, I hurl, so this chain will leap out from my hand as the end of it. Uh, it explodes into a red flame. Uh, it's point cracked, uh, almost looking like, uh, not a morning star, Something kind of like that. Like a... Like a... Like a... Like a barb of sorts.

As I hurl out this chain, it moves with a serpent-like fluidity as it weaves around Sarnax and attempts to pierce into Wolf 5. Okay, volume. You hurl a chain and hook a creature within 20 feet that you can see. The creature cannot move away from you for the duration of the spell. All attacks against the creature are made with advantage. The creature must make a strength saving throw or be pulled into mary. into melee range of me. Can it even do that if it's paralyzed?

I don't know what paralyzed does to staining throws. You automatically fail, strengthen decks. So then you can just pull them in. So you just, it's just automatically. And as it's pulling towards me and the chain is just ripping back in and it's flying through the air and it weaves back towards me, I swing out my great axe and try and just fucking to I get it.

Jesus. That hits. 16? Yeah, that hits. What do you say is he be yanked manning? Please come over here. Please get nearer. I would very much appreciate it if you would, duh.

12 damage as I arc out with my giant great acts. Does the piercing of the thing do any damage to it? Okay. No, but I mean, I got smite. Those are sad. I also got a second attack, so just talk to you. You watch as Taishen guides this chain towards the wolf. In a mere instant, the wolf is ripped towards you.

It cannot resist you as it is held in this paralysis state by the void magics of Professor Azran. And as it gets closer, you slice your great axe down on it. completely slicing part of the wolf, part of its back haunt from its body. It is dangling there on your chain for a split second, struggling. But its eyes don't say struggle. Its eyes look directly towards you,

and if a wolf could smile, it looks like it would. As it watches you, yeah? He's so bloodthirsty. Activate station has been pent up for like a year. Listen, all right. This is a tricky, listen. All right, I activate my sacred earth. I channel divinity.

Around me, as this wolf looks up, you'll see almost like my draconic features will take on, become even more slightly draconic. My eyes, like a little more lizard-like dragon form, as flames will start to form at the end of my mouth as I twirl my great axe for a moment, stopping it in one as the black Iker from Professor's exploding creature

wiped off the edge. And as I start to spin it, I will deliver swift and severe punishment to this wolf as I attempt to use final judgment. I love this part. If the attack, oh, I guess I roll to attack. Oh, yeah. 20.

Oh, let's go. So I start spinning. You do 20 points of damage? It's a dirty 20. No, no, no. This doesn't do damage. I just some gangster shit. I start to spin my great axe in one hand as the blade arcs and spins like a blender.

And I walk just to the side of the wolf. and as it's arcing one more time, as it spins, I catch the end of it in an arcing flame slash. I crash like a guillotine, the blade down on the neck of the wolf. And it has to make a successful... Do you want to DM this session? You're doing great.

I didn't get up. I was excited. I was like, let's fucking go! Listen, I'm thinking about this moment. All fucking day. The moment, yeah, there were drugs in that thing. As I catch final judgment. Do you want your players to be excited about their character?

Get the Crooked Moon. The Crook and Moon. All I'm about the guillotine the fuck out of this wolf. It's gonna look out of me in all the goddamn eyes it wants to, but it's not gonna have them for long. So if the attack hits and the targets, hit points are below one half, their one quarter, their maximum hit points,

which I assume we're in that realm. I guess we'll find out. We'll find out. It must make a con-saving throw. Wolf find out. Wolf find out. It must make a con-saving throw against your spell save DC. On a fail save, the target's head is severed from its body, instantly killing it.

What is your constitution, or what is your modifier, your spell save DC? It's probably like 25. It's probably not. Spell VC-15. Rolled a 13. Rolled a 13. Oh, I mean that's very appropriate. You watch as this happens, and with a sickening slice,

the head is completely severed from the wolf's body. Tyshen is completely covered in a gush of blood as the arteries in the neck are severed, and it just sprays all over you. The whirring of the blade that's spinning catches the blood in all of your friends are completely coated in this, windmill of a blood bath. As you stand there watching.

I start to spin the axe above me and clung me off. As the head falls, you watch as the eyes continue to move. As if something else is controlling them. Oh, this is so, so hot. Before they finally go dark and it lands with a thought on the ground. My ancestors are smiling on me. The funny part about that, I gotta tell you had one hit point left. Oh, shit.

Oh, yeah. You got to get it counts. That counts. I don't know what to fucking tell you. Our first final judgment. That's right. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatrous

and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon. folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition.

And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies, like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. With that, it is Caprice's turn. You still hear this tune, even though I've mostly stopped whistling. It's still like running like an earworm in the back of your head. Anyone who still has their bardic die, that is. Knowing that I'm playing a joyful tune,

the emotion is rising up within you. Even in the heat of battle, you are having a good time. time about it. And I'm just looking, just sort of tapping my foot and waiting to see the spirits emerge. And in the meantime, I'll just be like, oh, there are only two wolves left? This is dire. And I will blow a very loud whistle. And targeting right here, I'm just going to cast shatter. Classic D&D stuff. I will make it a piercingly loud sound. Both of them need to make a constitution Constitution saving throw. My DC is in bold right here, 16.

Potentially a whistle only a dollar. Constitution saving throw? I rolled a three and a 17. So two fails, four passes. Okay. I'm going to do 11 points of thunder damage on a failed save and half as much on a successful one. So fine.

What was in that muffin? You watch as Capriese. The priest does this, you see as some of the bones from the dead dire wolves pop and break and shatter piercing into their flesh as well. As they take a significant amount of damage, both of these dire wolves begin looking around nervously for a moment before their heads slowly turn

as if against their will and once again, start staring at all of you. Damn. One of them gives you a little wink. I'm playing my great ass, the edge my green. trade axe into its skull. I cheated last round. I didn't hide behind a tree.

I didn't have any bonus actions last. So I'm still just standing out here. That's okay. They were still going to do what they were doing last round anyway. I'm going to start my turn by using Sinners Gamble. Roll my bone dice. I got two pair. I'm going to use one more Sinners Gamble to rerroll one die and go for the full house.

Come on. No good. But with two pair, I get plus two damage to my tag. for three. Nice. Wow. So then I will. Do you keep the bonuses?

So you attempt to move in and I no longer have the ten movement. Okay. I have upgraded my bonus for plus two damage. That's nice. Three rounds. For three rounds. Unless he does it again.

I get how it works. I'm gonna shoot number four with my spectral voodoo gun. Oh, that's gonna be 17 plus A. That's definitely gonna hit. Which is gonna be one D6 plus 3D6 sneak attack damage. Oh. 11, 20, 40, 15, 16, 17, 18, 18, 19, 2012, and 22.

There's 10 hit points left. 24, 25. 20, 22. Poodoo damage. Damn, b'am! You watch as Shepard takes the gun and lets out a blast. And in an instant, as this wolf is looking between you all unnaturally, its body clearly trying to run away, clearly trying to save itself,

but something else keeping it here. watching, he lets loose this blast of magic and completely rips this entity apart, or this wolf apart. Just one lift. That's monster. Monster Swamp, it's going to, you watch as, it's similar to the other one,

its body is desperately trying to move away, but it is rooted in this spot, You see for a moment as its eyes change again, and it clearly becomes the eyes of a frightful, hungry, dire wolf. And it looks at all of you in fear, and it turns, and it attempts to bolt away. And it is going to turn and try and run into the tree line. I believe we have the opportunity.

Oh! If you want to. Yeah, I want to. Oh, yeah. Send him to Fujail. That's what I was going to say. Good or evil Fugel will sort it out in the afternoon.

Oh. He still adds. As long as you've got plus eight, you're good. Plus eight, it's plus eight. Oh, um, 13. 10 is it's AC. 15 points of you. You can use your Marnigan's duration

to increase the damage. It. 19 points of damage, and I smite it. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It seems to shake off whatever,

um, whatever, whatever is holding it here as it sees the horrific scene around it and self-preservation overtakes it as it lets out a yelp and turns and attempts to run. But you, in this moment, take your great axe and you slam it down, severing the body into, and with a loud yelp of pain, the dire wolf falls to the ground dead.

And silence spills out around you. And as you use your inspiration, and you take the life for this dire wolf, a cartoon ghost is going to come out, and it's whistling that same tune that you've had stuck in your head this entire time. And because you rolled a four, the remainder, half of that is what you heal.

You heal two points. Because I played a joyful tune and enhanced my bardic inspiration. What? That's so cool. It says Super Mario Brothers 2, Super Mario's Brothers 2, Game of the Year. Hey, everybody.

Do the Mario, do the Dire Wolves. You all stand on this road. From five to five. You all stand on this road, covered in blood. The corpses of six wolves surround you. I won't make you roll for it. Now that the heat of battle has subsided and you are able to gain some composure,

you look down at these creatures and realize this was far too easy. You've fought dire wolves before. And they are harder to hit. They are significantly more hearty. They do more damage. They are bloodthirsty and ferocious. And these were not that.

And as you look down at them, you realize that they are emaciated. They are weakened. They clearly have lacked for food. They are weak. And the state that you fought them in, they were not at their full power. They were clearly not.

Ready for battle, though the way that they approached you and the marks on the carriage would all say otherwise. Something doesn't line up here. Damn, something doesn't line up here. What do you mean? Well, I mean, look at the carriage or what's left of it. I was expecting a challenge. Come on, Professor, where are these werewolves you're talking about?

These are just wolves. Ha-asha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Professor? Professor. Thomas. He isn't here right now. You know how he does that thing?

He's doing that thing again. As you are talking, you're walking. It is dark, and you do still hear the sounds of animals in the tree line, and you are not in any place to be taking on more wolves. You can only hope that your destination is down this path, but this is not a forest. This is a forest unlike you've ever seen,

and you have no idea where you are. So you walk as you talk. All right, uh, professors are a little, uh, out there right now. Let's, uh, let's think, uh, Sarnax. Maybe you can take the lead. You're good with the woods. You can help us get where we're going, maybe without too much creepy words and phrases?

Yes, the old ones, drink well. That makes two of us. But something is not right. That was not natural. Nothing is natural about this place. Perhaps we will learn more at our destination. I'm certain it cannot be far.

Sarnax was wrong. It was far. You walk for hours. It gets to a point where you begin to wonder if you're ever going to reach a destination. There is nothing here but woods. If a town becomes present, it is in the middle of nowhere, far removed from civilization in every way. And you begin to feel doubt.

What if this wasn't the right path? You had just awoken before all of this happened. What if you were supposed to walk the other way when the carriage was knocked over and that was dragged by the horses, you lost your bearings? What if the carriage flipped around and you're going back the way that you had come? What if there was a fork in the road that you missed? when you were talking and you didn't realize it was there. What if a path was obscured by all of the underbrush? And as you're thinking these things, you see a sign,

a small wooden sign that flops in the wind that shows that just up ahead is a place called Duskvale. Oh, oh, is that a Crossroads? Crossroads saved my life once. I bet I've never told you that story. Oh, it's just a straight road. And it is just a straight road. Shepard is correct in this,

as you all notice the straight road ahead. You crest a hill, and then you see a beautiful valley spread out beneath you. As the road curves down and nestled in the valley, there is a soft river that runs through it, a small and beautiful autumnal town, decked out in the colors of autumn, oranges, yellows, reds, and browns. The houses all seem to be decorated for the harvest.

And you see, even from this vantage point, that there are people milling about this place in the middle of the night. But they're not acting like it's midnight or the wee hours of the morning they're acting as if they had just gotten up for the day. People walking this way and that taking wares from one house to another, a group of people and children dancing around the town center. It looks like they're erecting some sort of maypole. The entire town illuminated by candlelight and lanternlight. And it is beautiful. And overlooking all of this, the top of a hill next to a waterfall shining in the moonlight, you see what is very clearly the manor house you had been invited to.

In beautiful Gothic style, it's turrets raising towards the moon. It stands out in this picture. scene. It is surrounded by hedge fences with a gigantic wrought iron gate that closes it off from the rest of this village. Looking towards it, you see a large balcony that spreads out from the second floor two huge towers that shoot up the side with parapets and stained glass windows. You see that The grounds are beautifully kept on one side is what appears to be a blood-orange orchard, and on the other side, a gigantic garden maze. This house is elegant, rich, a stark contrast to the quaint little town that it looks down upon

from its lofty foundation or perch. But overall, the scene is coming. You can hear laughter and the sounds of music. And it's a nice change from the sound of the woods. Oh, Professor, tell me we're staying in the rich house. This does appear to be our destination. Hey, hey, come on, Miss Isis, this is right, tell me. Mr. DeCesto, leave any of those muffins left.

I'm hungry. Here you are? Yeah, no, my pleasure. I'll just add it to your tab. Add it to your tab. What's going on, Professor? You got a tape order? You can stop eating all day?

No, no, it's fine. It's fine. I just, he's a lot of activity. Lots to do, lots to do. Is this the house? Victoria. Up there. You are significantly far from it.

I'm looking up at it. Yeah, just making sure. Yes. On a hill. There in the distance. I believe that's where we're meant to go. There's your answer, Mr. Morgan. Damn.

Would you care for some dire wolf shank? I removed one of its haunches before we left. It's a bit stringy and dried out. Oh, don't beat that. That's how you're gonna get the tape worm. Come on, you gotta cook that. No, you're right. It is uncivilized.

I think that one was covered in the black echo of the Cosmic Order. Oh, I'm going to cook the banana. It tastes like Havanaero. He looks up at you as, oh, eyes are completely blackened out. So that's Ravenscroft Here in Duskvale Duskvale

I'm changing I smell for pie Bees guitar on the wind Are we near any of the towns people? You are, so the town is down here in the valley You're up here on a hill You've just come out of the forest

You're looking at the scene And so during this conversation, you are making your way down. You will eventually get to the town. So town's down here. Is it a manor? Yes. So the town's down here. Then there's a water, there's like a small brook that cuts through the town. The waterfall that feeds into that brook is on the edge of the cliff where the manor sits.

Okay, so it's like us down in the valley and then back up to the river. Yeah. Okay. And as we've been traveling, because it had been hours, your barric and would all have faded. And as each one did, another one of these... You die. Because you did it.

As a punishment for not using your bardic inspiration, you die. Because every bard hates it when they give it out. You don't give it. I don't call it a bardic die. A small spirit would have left like haunting around you and eventually arrived back in the other side of my jacket and I would have each one seemingly an old friend to me. Well, let's carry on.

Perhaps they have food, safety, shelter. They seem to be preparing for some sort of festival or other form of quaint merriment. Oh, I like the sound of that. It's charming, truly. I seem to remember that when we invaded Vicky's privacy, that there was some sort of a festival going on, right? In Aunt Rowan.

In Aunt Rowan's honor. Yeah, yeah. Let's go enjoy a festival. That sounds pretty delightful. And it is right about this time that you find yourselves at the entrance to this town. And you see quite a few people milling about. You there, is that there on the hill, the manor house

of von Zarvich? Oh, hey. You're not from around these parts, are you? Clearly not. Wow, you look like her type. How do you do? My good lab. I'm all right.

I'm just taking some gorets and some pumpkins up towards the town square. Tonight, we're going to carve some. Are you here for the car? Charming. My name is Professor Clayton Azra and Ms. Haller University. I'm also the Grand Divine of the Ruby Order of Occultic Mysticism. And I'm the leader of Mysterium Incorporated. That was a lot of big work.

Do you want to rewind and try that one again? I'm afraid we don't have the time. Wasted breath. All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What, are you, are you all lost? We have an invitation. You do? To what? Present him maybe with the letter?

Is that, I don't know. Go ahead, come on, Miss asking. I suppose I'll just, yes, share this private letter. Well, anyone who we come across. Maybe just the seal, perhaps. He looks really uncomfortable. Look, because Isaac's the more people who share it with, the less private it gets, just get it out there,

get it over, it done with it, bang. Shirley. Yes, we've been invited by, is she fantastic? Did she just signed it Stradhanya von Zarvich? We've been invited by Stradayorovych. Oh, you've been invited by the mistress? Yes, the mistress. Oh, yeah?

What for? I'm kin to her late wife. Oh, he takes his hat off. My condolences, ma'am. Much appreciated. We're about to have a harvest festival celebration for her. She was the kindest, I mean, when she was still with us, God rest her soul, she just, she did so much for the land.

I'd never seen, I ain't never seen a cleric like her before. Dear Aunt Rowan, just like her. Our harvest festivals were the best, and she always made sure we had the most fun and the most food. We've missed her. And I'm not trying to say anything bad about our mistress. I mean, she's been grieving the loss of, you know, her wife, a loved one. And so I haven't makes sense, of course, that she doesn't leave that house and that the city, she can't pay much mind.

But she's making right by us with this festival. We got, I mean, I don't know if you, well, I guess you just got here so you haven't seen, but we have wagons filled with stuff. We've got pumpkins. We're making pies. There are all kinds of decorations. We've never seen anything like this in the past year. I'm so excited.

Everyone's so excited. Oh, it's great. Yeah, it's great that y'all are going to be here for this. Oh, we need some pumpkin pie immediately. I can definitely use some rum to go with that pumpkin pie to place to kick up my boots. I comically lift off of the ground. I'm not.

Only for 50 feet. That smells. Smels. Homo flight, ladies and gentlemen, in the crooked room. I think we have to do it. We do not have to do that. Well, I'm not going to pretend to know what the contents of your personal missive may be.

But if you're looking for a place to kick up your feet, have a nice slice of pie, and get acclimated to the town before you have your, I guess, meeting with our mistress, you would do well to find your way on over to the inn. Raven's Roost. If you head straight up to the town center, they're erecting a maypole there right now. It's the biggest building there. It's got a sign with a raven and a roost on it. And pie. And pie.

And booze? A lot of booze. Warm fire. You know it. Softbeds. The softest around. Oh, guys, let's go. What are we doing?

Shake a leg. Come on, Professor. Where is this ancient barrow I've heard so much about? I'm sorry, what? Ancient barrow. I know of a barrow. A tomb full of, Calan's relics?

It's ancient. It's not going anywhere. Let's get a good night's sleep and it's food. I don't think we got nothing like that around here. I ain't ever heard of some ancient one. I know there's a barrow outside of town, but. Outside of town, you say. Yeah, I mean, how else are we gonna get the hay in here

if we don't put them in the wheelbarrow? That's not exactly what that meant. There seems to be a miscommunication. We even get saved. Let's make our way to the inn. We used to have more than one barrow, but like I said, the town has had a rough year with the loss of our other mistress. And they have, hey, we've been working real hard to clean up this place. Well, clearly not hard enough.

All right. Sorry. This quaint village is a blight upon the land. You say that your deceased mistress did so much to the land. I'd hate to have seen this place before she arrived. All right, all right. You, sir, you lad. What is your problem?

You are a gentleman and a scholar, and you have done us a great service tonight. Please pardon my friend. Sarnax here. He's not custom to the local culture. He's been a lot of times of the woods. You're covered in egg. End branches.

I prefer to sleep amongst the coarse bark. No soft. Well, you're welcome to head on back into the wood. I could use some rest. Let the wolves get you. I think we could all use a hot bath as well. I could clean up. You keep your friend in check.

I can be understanding of this one, but I can't promise the rest of the town folk are going to take too kindly to this kind of talking. Understood. Nope, I'll do my best. He walks over towards you and grabs your hand. I can tell you're a kindred spirit. Oh, yeah.

When you head on up to the Ravens Roost. All right, all right. All right, all right. You let them know that you met Bentley and that Bentley set you up here. All right. You just let them know that. Keep shaking you. All right. I take my hat off. All right. I'm starting to feel a little dizzy. Thank you for. All right. Mm-hmm. Or sinner. What? I'm sorry. What did you say?

Put my hat on. Come on, come on folks. Let's go. I'm sorry. What are you saying? Just one minute. I have one more question. Did two horses happen to run into this town? No, not that I saw. Rip to shreds. I'm sorry. What? shreds, you say. But let's go get some pie.

What do you guys say? He looks incredibly confused. I'll read with my hat as I lead the gang towards the inn where he pointed to and I look for the signage with the rooster and all that good stuff. It is very... It's very easy to make it to the Ravens Rousse. This town is small.

You walk up the small hill that leads to the town center. You see the May pole being erected. You see... a ton of people here. There are children separating the sizes of gourds and pumpkins. And you see that there are women and men alike taking bits of straw and tying them together, creating fetishes and a veritable flower crowns and cornucopias. And you see that they are, they're all working on something together. and it is quite beautiful. They all seem to be very happy. People notice you, and they wave and welcome you to town. None of them nearly as suspicious as Bentley was when you came into town.

Seeing you in the town center, they just expect that you're supposed to be here. As you make your way up to the door of the raven's roost, it opens easily, and you're immediately met with the smells of spiced pies, of, of safety. ivory meats and forever stews. A fire does roar in the hearth. And this place is empty, but it's being taken care of. This town doesn't see many guests, but it was prepared should it see any.

And you do notice that there is a, what appears to be a human woman behind the bar. She has a book open on the counter. She doesn't even notice as you enter. her. And she's flipping through the book, and she giggles to herself for a moment. You see her, you watch as she blushes a little bit and hides her head, and she reads a little bit more, and she goes, oh. Is she reading poem? But she does not notice that you've entered.

Excuse me, it's. Oh, it's all right. Thank you for having. She closes the book, and she puts it in her apron really quickly. I'm going to endeavor to read the cover. If I'm going to endeavor. Can. And how are you planning to do this? With my eyeballs, I'm trying to perceive the cover as of this. Can you catch a glimpse from? She, uh, I don't know.

He's just magical little eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm also just like, please grow thumbs. Roll a perception check.

Thank you. That would be my pleasure. Oh. I don't have inspiration for myself. If you won't match. Twisted. Twist it. Twist it.

We got to do that title. Magic. Twisted. All right. All right. Roll the other ones. 14. Okay.

Talk amongst yourselves. I was not a matter of me. You don't know the name of this. It's guns, germs, and steel. Jeez. I thought about that in 15 years. Oh, God. It was so much in steel.

I had to be a burden. That's funny as fuck. Okay. Okay. Okay. I have to, okay. You read it and at first you don't believe the name that you see written on the front,

and you quickly glance at the spine and you see that it is written there clearly. Taste of Heaven, the Harry and the Harthy, a halfling love story. We didn't mean to interrupt your casual reading, but we were wondering if maybe you had some space here tonight at your lovely inn. I would love to have you at the inn. We haven't had anyone here in a long time.

Oh, I'm Cammy, by the way. It's lovely to meet you. What brings you to dusk family? Family business. Oh, I didn't realize that anyone here had family from out of town. All right. Also, pumpkin pie. Oh, I make the best pumpkin pie.

Would you like a slice? Technically, no one here has family from out of town anymore. That's exactly right. Thank you. Yes. Cammy, it's a pleasure to meet you. Climb Capriccio de Sesson. She seems very confused.

for a moment, she's still flush. It's nice to meet you, human woman. It's nice to meet you, too, or teafully, ma'am? I'd love to enjoy your pie. Both, I'm sorry, what? Your pumpkin pie, I would love a slice. Yeah, hard. Oh, make that three.

That's you for there. Oh, make that three, yes. It does smell delicious. I suppose I could. Give me a moment, and I will grab a round of pie. Whole pie, whole pie. And she quickly. She quickly turns and heads into the room behind the swinging door as you hear her fumbling with things and occasionally, she,

Oh, get yourself together, girl. Caprice, thank you so much for bringing up that young woman's pie. It's my pleasure. I mean, you can smell it all the way out of the street. I don't ever sit down, there's nothing on my mind but pie. I'm saying. Oh, do you think she's got any cream? I mean, I hope so. I'm just looking for the pumpkin pie.

I mean, do you see the size of those gorge now? Can't have pie without cream, I always say. And as you say this, she uses her hip to swing the door open and she's carrying a tray laden with pie. Here's my pie for everyone. I covered it in my fresh cream. And she puts it down on the table for you. You know, you can't have pie without cream.

Looks like the best pie in town. Oh, it's delicious. Everyone's had a taste. How big were the gourds that made this fight? The biggest that were brought in with this year's yield. Round, gourd? Plump, round. Juicy.

Why can't wait. Oh, look at her and I'll look between both the things that I'll say. I suppose that's why they call it a devil's three-way. Oh my God, there's hair in this. You got hair in yours? Lucky. Trade, train. We got a bit.

Yeah, we black out. Holy shit. You're smitten unconscious by the DM. No, you're not. But you do enjoy the pie, and you chat with Camilla a bit. Cammy. She tells you her full name, Camilla Evans. She's been the local innkeeper for quite a while. She welcomes you to town, explains similar things that Bentley had told you. And she sits down with you and enjoys some pie alongside you as she endeavors to keep you company. She offers you being guests of the mistress of the town. She offers you the largest suite in the inn.

the nicest room that they possibly have and lets you know that the entire stay is on her. She feels sorrow for the mistress and what she is lost and that it's the least that she can do for the kin of Lady Rowan and explains that the entirety of the town misses her. You learn a little more about her. You don't remember Rowan. much, Victoria. You met her when you were a very small girl.

And she made impressions. You remember her being kind. And that even your father dared not dared not say anything crass in her presence. That she was, that she was cruel as he was. He made sure to he made sure to keep himself together in her presence. And that it was very clear that your mother truly loved her.

And so it's nice to hear the way that she took care of the town, the Harvest Festival was something that was special to her and that everyone is very happy. As last year you learned, the Harvest Festival did not happen for Lady Rowan was found dead on the day of the festival. It's been, as of the festival this year, it will be exactly one year since her death,

which is what this festival is, being why it is so much care is being put into it as it is to honor her and the life that she lived. And it is finally now that Stradonia is able to leave her mourning. That Stradonia has not been taking care of the village. She has not been sending the supplies. That the townsfolk have had to fend for themselves, create their own harvests, and that the imports that they used to get from all over, Druskenwald have no longer been showing up.

And it is not until recently that Stradanya has decided to grace the town with her presence again. And that once again, those imports have started to flow in. They have bread and cheese and wine and all these things that they can't create on their own. And she seems quite happy. And it is in the course of this conversation that you are now full and happy. Some of you a little drunk as the door of the inn, not slams, but slides open. And a shadow begins, or a shadow appears in the doorway.

The shadow of a tall, lithe figure, the shadow of a woman. She stands there in a beautiful black, lacy bustle dress. her dark hair cascading down her back over what is clearly a black velvet cloak that she has clasped around her neck, the symbol of a raven with its wings spread wide.

The cloak down against her shoulders, allowing her hair to spill over. Her skin is pale. Her eyes are in this light almost, read a pale red. Her lips are a very similar color, stark contrast to the paleness of her skin. A veil is affixed to either side of her temples and it covers the majority of her face but you can still see these colors piercing through between the open areas of the lace and Cammy immediately clams up and stands up and bow

and curtsies and isn't quite sure what to do before she rushes behind the bar and just stands there waiting to be addressed. And then you hear her speak. You answered my letter. You rode on the carriage and you have come to aid me. Was it for love of kin or for coin in mystery? It matters not. I am so happy to have you here in my town. I will not be staying here tonight. Oh, thank God's. You will come with me to my manor house. We have much to talk about, or something has happened this day

that even I was not expecting. Yes, you will come with me? We will. I'm so pleased. She moves towards you with this unnatural grace, and she runs her hand along the side of your cheek. You look so much like her. The family resemblances, and she grabs your chin and moves your head this way and that.

Uncanny. You see one lone tear roll down her cheek. It pains me to look at you. And she turns your face away as she looks away from you. She turns around, and she moves towards the door. She looks over her shoulder very quickly. I will wait in my carriage. Do not take too long.

and she steps out into the street and all you hear is silence. Every person that was out in the courtyard is standing either against walls or still holding what the tools they were using to carve pumpkins or the flowers that they were using to string flower crowns. None of them moves. It's as if they're all holding their breath as they watch this woman move through the thoroughfare. The sound of her heels clacking it. against the cobbled stone, and you hear as it slowly fades as she walks towards her carriage at the edge of town.

Well, I suppose that is our host. Thank God for not staying here. OK, there's absolutely nothing wrong with this place. It's absolutely lovely, but yeah, I mean, a little bit of serendipity never hurt. Let's go up to big old rich person's house. If we're invited, certainly all of us, right, are invited to stay with a wealthy person that lives

a gigantic man in on a hill. Sting in a dinky inn just seems... No, no, and again. There's nothing wrong with the inn. We are absolutely going to. She was in my inn. Is everything all right? You look a little...

Camilla, haven't. She has never been in a room before. Oh. Oh my gosh. Tealy was too dusty. Yes. Probably. Oh.

No. No. No. No. say, no, no, it's beautiful out here. You can. She never comes to town. Women such as that.

Who never comes to town. Care about dust. In the wilds, dust does not collect. I have no idea what you're saying. I don't really care. She was in my, she was in my inn. Oh, you missed the chance to offer you your pie. I will.

Do you think she make sure that she gets this pie? Do you think if I gave you an entire pie? Oh, I'm lightheaded. Do you think if I gave her an entire, you an entire pie? you could give it to us. Oh yeah, she's gonna gobble that pie right up. When you have back to town for the festival?

In case we drop one. Would you tell her how my pie tasted? Yeah, yeah. I mean, would you tell me what she thought of my pie? I will tell, I'm sure, I will relay the message. Look, I got one look at her and I can tell. Isn't she beautiful? Pie fan.

Yeah. She's so pretty. Big fan of pie. She's never. You just have that look about her. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Give us a pie.

I know, we'll be right back. You don't want to keep her waiting. Uh, ha. Pie, oh, pie. I'll be right back. And she rushes, she rushes to the back and you could hear she's stumbling over things, clearly knocking things over

as she prepares a basket of two pies. I look at, I look at Tyshen and I'll say mammals and their pie. It's good, but I don't understand the fascination. Neither do I. A big old bowl of eggs will do. Mmm. Mmm.

Wow, give us a try, eh? Fucking delicious. It's a raw egg. It's like Rocky Bobo. Yeah. Quite good. Quite good. This all worked out for the best, right?

We're gonna get a nice place to stay. You get to talk to your ex-dead relatives ex. And we get closer to the bearers with the treasure and all of that good stuff. and all that good stuff. And we get paid. Oh. Are you looking for the wheelbarrow that, we only have one left?

No, no, no, no, not a wheelbarrow. We're looking for barrows, like ancient. Oh, we don't have more than one. The barrow, like the ancient grave. It's not great. Where the old ones reside. Yeah, we're not getting anywhere on the barrow front. We should be going.

What do you mean when you say wheelbarrow? What are you referencing? Oh, it's, you know, like a small wooden wagon It's a farming implement. Yeah. Okay, that's not it. We speak of an ancient tomb. I've got enough of this tavern.

It's a tomb. We'll be taking the pie. She hands you a basket covered with a cloth and inside of it are two pies. Clearly the biggest and the most beautiful pie. As soon as she hands it to me, I toss it to Caprice into the bangle. Into the carriage. And you hear glass shatter. This is the cream.

Oh! It's not. Don't worry. I got it here in my bindle. Thank you for your hospitality. You're welcome. I'm like walking over to like Michelle or like her storage cover and I'm pulling out on the end.

What are you doing? We got. Thank you for being so hospitable. We've got so much business to do. The professor says we got to go. I got to go. We've all got to go. Cammy, you've been amazing.

Thank you so much for your pie. You're welcome. You can have my pie any time. I'll be back. Great. All right, Mysterium Incorporated. transform and roll out. Let's go. Let's let us go. After you, professors, right behind you.

You walk through the streets and people are once again beginning to mill about, but they all look hesitant and nervous. They don't look scared, but almost in awe. As you make your way through the streets, they look at you in reverence, knowing where you're headed to. Occasionally these villagers look towards you and just point the way. They don't say anything to you. As you find yourself at a small exit on the opposite side of town, a pathway leading directly up towards the manor house,

there is a large black carriage there in a very similar style to the one that picked you up, but significantly more grand, significantly more decorated with gilded golden decorations. and this time you do see that there is a gentleman who is manning the carriage and maintaining the horses. He nods to you and tips his hat towards you but doesn't say much as he reaches around and opens the door to welcome you in.

You see that Stradonia is sitting inside the carriage. This is quite large. There's enough room here for all of you to fit on one side together. And with the way she spread her dress out around her, it's very clear that that is her intention is for you to face her. And you all make your way into the carriage

and take your seat next to her. How do you do? Man servant. See, you feel like I have to call a man servant every time we walk into the garage. They are manservants. I know, but it just sounds weird when you do it. These are the trappings of civilization.

Do not call the men's servants if you not wish me use that term. All right. We appreciate your hospitality and invitation. I appreciate that you have come. And I wanted to formally offer the services of Mysterium Incorporated. It is this band of excellent capable individuals

that I've assembled over many years that were able to fix problems, so to speak, and help you in various supernatural ways. And it is convenient, if not, altogether uncanny, that in your employ would be Miss Victoria Isaacs. That's right. She was... I offer you our deepest condolences.

She looks at you for a moment, looks away, and continues to look at Clayton, trying not to make eye contact with you. Rowan spoke of you often. She wanted very much for you to come visit. But we could never find the time. She was a lady of the land and in a place like this, there was much land to tend to. She would be happy to know you are here now. But it is not for her that I, it is, but it is not for her memory that I have brought

you here. And it is imperative that I tell you what has happened. Let us, as they say, cut to the chase. Please do. It is one year since I lost my wife. Yes. She flung herself from the second floor balcony and impaled herself on the maple

that was to be used in the harvest festival. Oh my. My rowan was sweet. She would never have taken her own line. For the year prior, she had been wandering the woods when she found an ancient barrow. buried beneath it, she found a mask, a strange, rotting, decrepit rabbit mask. She would not remove it from her sight.

She kept it with her always. At first, I thought she just, being a woman of hearth and home, I thought did she like the symbology of the rabbit and what it meant. meant we were lovers first. And she had needs, if you understand my meaning. Needs. Yeah. Physical needs.

I do not understand your meaning, nor do I. I'm glad you understand, for I will not expand upon it. Would these needs exacerbated in some way, due to the mask? I will get to this. At first, the mask became a trinket, a token that she carried around with her. And then she began to want, she began to desire, she began to need. And I was all too willing to provide. Oh.

But when she began to wear the mask, things began to change. She would speak to me in a tongue that she never spoke before, a language I did not understand. She began to talk of whispers, of plans, grand plans for the two of us. I would find her alone at night wearing only the mask, speaking gibberish as she looked out at the full moon. She wore an ancient mask of lightly magical properties without knowing anything about it. It was found in the earth. She did not think anything of it, and I was not concerned. When you see the thing, you will understand. And this is the artifact. When I found her impaled upon the maple, she was wearing nothing but the mask. I removed it from

from her body myself and have kept it in the trinket box ever since. I do not open the box, I do not look at the mask. I cannot bring myself to see it. Look, I don't want to jump to conclusions. I just want to maybe ask a couple questions and make sure we're all on the same page here. I mean, look, it's not very, it's pretty often, the professor sometimes starts talking in weird languages.

I've been known to tie one off, get naked, and stare at the moon. It's just, you know. You do do that quite often, don't you, Shepard? I got that often, just occasionally when the drink takes me. You always say, oh, it is the full moon. People will be acting strangely. This may be a thing that you do,

but this is not a thing that might wrong not. All right, I don't mean any disrespect. This is wholly unlike her. It was. She began to journal at first, and then she would write on anything and everything, the library filled with countless tombs contain her scribbling, her madden scribbling. None of it making sense, most of it I have had burned since, for I cannot look at it.

So I ask you this, I would have you look at this mask, see if you can determine anything about it. For I have begun to hear the whispers myself. Whispers, you say... As we near the eve, one year since our passing. Do you view your words? It is not a voice or a language, it is a feeling. I see. I am afraid to keep the mask close to me.

I would like to have you inspected. We will. This harvest festival, I fear that last year I did not throw one for Rowan passed I was too aggrieved to continue the festivities I fear we have angered the gods and that this mask is now our pen is now punishing us where people have started to go missing in the town the town's folk believe that the hungry darrow wolves are at fault for taking them but they are far too amaciated to be eating human flesh I think it is something

else. So, I am throwing a grand festival to appease the gods in honor of Rowan and hope that at least that one problem can be cured. The only thing else that plays heavy on my heart is this mask. For this evening, I will put you up in her room. You may go through her things, we'll see what you can find, and in the morning you will give me a full report. For tomorrow night is the harvest, and I must know what is happening with this mask before the harvest is to begin, when my heart will be far too heavy for me to be able to truly celebrate the life that we shared.

In this, do we have an agreement? Yes. Of course. Absolutely. Yeah, we're in. We can discuss payment at the later date. Professor. She looks at you and she doesn't even flinch

as it was agreed. Yes. And it is at this time that you hear the creaking of the rock iron gate, this grand gate that opens up between two hedge fences that encircle this entire manner. They open up with, as you can clearly see, no one opening them, just automatically on their own. So they open up, you are led through a gravel pathway that splits and goes around a large fountain with a raven standing there with its wings wide open, its mouth up towards the sky, and a pillar of water shooting out and filling the fountain. It's quite a beautiful.

as the carriage curves around and parks directly in front of the house. Grand marble staircase leads up to the large red oak doors. The man servant leaps down from his post, opens the door, and carefully helps Mistress von Zaravich out of the carriage, and then steps to the side and allows you to help yourself out of the carriage. the carriage before he rushes up the stairs and opens the door for her, both of them wide. You are immediately met with the light, a flickering candlelight.

This dark oak interior, it is beautiful and warm and cozy as the light spills out onto the stairs. Stradonia makes her way up to the doors themselves before she turns towards you, her lace, her black lace morning gown trailing along the mar, the, the white marble stairs in a very stark contrast. She turns towards you and ushers you inside quietly. I told you, ma'am, servant. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you don't have to say it, though.

It's rude. Well, Mrs. Von Zarvich, thank you. I appreciate the hospitality. I know we all do. Have a good night. We'll take care of business. I will be escorting you to. My dear Roman's room, and it is there,

I will return shortly with the mask for you to see. You are sufficiently fed, yes? Yes, we are. Caprice. Don't forget the gift. Oh, right, right, right, right. D.C.'s? Oh, yeah, yeah, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. It's the tavern girls pie.

Everyone seems to love it. She, Kamala, Kammy Evans. Inns. She, she's called her Kamala Anders. Camel A Anderson. No, Edens. Camel Aft. Yeah, maybe we should go back to the fucking end.

She removes the cloth, and you're all able at this, where you're standing to look inside. Both of the pies have completely turned to mush, the crust everywhere. The cloth is completely covered in the fresh cream. It is an absolute mess. I will send this to the kitchen and we'll have it for dessert. I know, Mending.

Johnson, please, and she hands it to the footman. And it's just a name. It doesn't mean penis, not everything is dirty. Oh, my. I don't know what you're talking about. The demand service name is Jones. I was gonna call him Jeeves, and I thought that was just too easy.

She said her. Children. It's what sense that she would keep her Johnson? She... Johnson would please that power. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avengers podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to,

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