Legends of Avantris - On a Silver Strand | Spelljammer One-Shot: Part 1 | Ten Tickles

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

CLOWNS IN SPAAAAAAACE! Chuckles the Space Clown and his companions of space-faring adventurers took a simple job on a salvage ship, but get in way over their heads and uncover a new threat that could threaten the Astral Sea itself!   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/oNGu5u_kN50?si=_VSzXagEwkcBpdUg

Hey everybody, welcome to Legends of Aventriff. In space, material items are pulled into the Astral Sea as new doorways are created between the realms. They're space-faring captains that live their lives salvaging these wrecks from materials and profit. You were adventurers aboard the Cyclops, a scavenging ship that is seven days into its voyage, seeking something recently delivered to the Astral Sea that promises to set this creature. up for a substantial payday. A tip provided to the captain stated that the latest opening was created from an unidentifiable realm promising riches beyond imagination.

You awaken in the crew quarters of the Cyclops. If now we'd like to take a moment for everyone to go around and maybe describe what your character looks like. anything you think is meaningful you'd like to share you think that within seven days of becoming trusted allies you would have your party would know about you and then what you think you may have been doing on the ship to over the last seven days to support the voyage what role you may have filled or anything of those of that like if uh Derek you'd like to start my name is kabush and I will be playing a plasmoid. I can get heated from time to time in an angry sense and also in a temperature sense should I be affected by hot temperatures. When I'm not asleep or when I'm not in my life natural form, I would have the vague appearance of a humanoid, probably humanesque, meaning I

I look like a wax figure or I look like one of those action figures made out of like rubber where the lines have been painted perfectly because I'm like creating a facsimile of hair eyes, a mouth,

a nose, but in broad like orby shapes very smoothed out in all directions if their ears it would look like I've been printed rather than or more molded rather than it actually having like all of the correct lines and the correct order.

And when I open my facsimile of a mouth, I can speak words should I choose to, but mostly I just sort of juice around. I'm imagining that when you're like, you are more solid, you look like a creepy crawler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Creepy crawler. I do this to put the rest of my crewmates

in whom I have utmost. faith and trust and who I hope think well with me. I put this effort into my appearance to put every one of these, to try and make sure that they feel comfortable while I do my work. Janitor. I work by moving around the ship,

making sure that it is as tidy and clean as possible, by absorbing the dirt and rust and anything that would not be, welcome. If someone spills coffee, I rumba that shit, juicy fashion, very quickly. No problem. It doesn't taste like anything to me. I can just absorb it, and it gives me nourishment. So, of course, I'm just going to go around and, you know,

someone left their lunch in the refrigerator. You know, I might just lurp that up, too. And how do you get rid of your waist? There is no waste in your glass of what? I literally sweat it off me. Two pores is the answer. Sometimes when I have a particularly bad day and I need to really extrude a lot of material,

I'll hold onto the edge of the ship, reach out beyond the gravitational pull as best I can, I hope, and allow it to gravity away from us and just sort of poop out into space effectively. I wasn't going to ask you to get stuck in an infinite loop where you have to end up cleaning out your own mess. And then you've just answered that. No, no, no, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll pick everything up and I will get it off of the ship. And it's with this in mind that I support my allies. And I'm also handy in a fight. That's caboosh. Excellent. And Derek, please enjoy an inspiration. Ah!

And you would absolutely be able to do that. Walk around the, well, slither around, slosh around the deck of the ship. cleaning, picking up, and then at the back, raised up on the, you know, better aft castle. Oh, I have no idea about not. Oh, damn it. Okay. You drew all those ships before.

No, no, which one? No, no. Oh, the ship. I can't name it. At the back owe the ship. At the back owe the ship. There would be a railing that absolutely you would be able to slosh onto and then you would extend out kind of in like an elongated, I'm picturing like when the boat's right. around you're like wind surfing like up in the air you would definitely be able to

I thought those wind socks yeah yeah yeah exactly exactly there's one final detail that I would share which is I can't hold my form when I'm asleep obviously I'm unconscious so I just sort of turn into liquid so for this reason when I'm waking up in the the quarters of the the cabin the crew cabin I would be in Kabush's bucket that's my bucket don't touch my bucket don't put anything my bucket. That's where I sleep, okay? All right. Okay, you have that. You can have that. And when I, when I wake up in the morning, I look like the pink ooze from fucking

Ghostlisters 2 in the bathtub. You go from Wonder Twins to Pink Oos. Fucking incredible. Okay, enjoy your inspiration. Thank you. Damn it. Mikey. Oh. My name is Chuckles. I don't know how else to say this.

I'm a space clown. I've tried to find different ways. Space gesture, space. I am a clown in space. I have a handy, dandy bowler cap on my head, which I can pull and produce many items, which really makes me, and I'm able to throw in strange, bizarre ingredients into mysterious bottles, which makes me a great surgeon for this purpose. And so, you know, if someone has ghosts in their blood and they need to do drugs about it, they come to Chuckles.

And when anyone wants to have a good laugh and see a good show, they will beg Chuckles not to do his goofy shenanigans, but he does all the same. Yeah, I have, I'm a bull. except for the orange hair at the side of my head. I cover the bald spot with my bowler cap. I have large squeaky and sticky shoes. I'm so uncomfortable. I lovingly refer to them as my vestige as the sticky squeakers. When Kabush goes to sleep, you like to step around in the bucket.

You did that the first time when I broke your ankle, which first And I have a very mysterious ray gun at my hip. And it looks like it might be made of plastic, but I treat it like a very serious weapon. I think that's it. Either you mentioned your class. Oh. Why would we do that?

I'm a barbarian. Yeah. Ow. That's fine. And I am a reborn. Could I wasn't always like this. And I am a

multi-class of a college of creation bard and a wild magic sorcerer. So sometimes kooky shit happens that he can't explain based on the

space clown in his blood and his being, just part of him. Clown shenanigans are part of his essence, his anima, so to speak. I'm excited to learn more space lore. Yeah, me too.

About space chuckles. And space clubs. And some may say, is this the same chuckles from Wild Beyond the Witchlight? And the question is, the answer is, hmm. You know, when it comes to a space clown names, Chuckles is like, Kevin, there's a million. You know, it's like one of the baseline names.

It's like an ancient Rome where they're like seven first names. Oh, in the space clown dynasty, we have six male names. There's a reason they're all called comidus. And that is, that's chuckles. And I am using a homebrew wild magic triggering effect, so we'll see how that works. Cool. Mace agreed to him. Because it was approved of interest.

He told me the creator of the world thought it was really cool. The creator of Vantius saw this homebrew and he thought it was pretty cool so you should probably, you know, that guy gives Mikey everything. Hibank, bullshit. But he gave us of Antras.

Oh, and I'm always drinking, I'm always drinking from this bottle, this goofy looking bottle that is at my hip, and it is a bubbly, fruity beverage that is called thrill joy. So that is... I can do it.

Wow. As much as it pains me to do this, might he enjoy an inspiration? What? Yeah. Oh, I feel so inspired. Oh, I also love creating balloon animals. It's my craft.

Oh, I can't. Oh, what's your favorite animal? Oh, Poodle Grove. I'm going to down on my book. He gets one, too. Damn it. Just poodle. Oh, you love poodles too.

Wow, I'm so glad everyone loves poodle. I wanted a space poodle. Oh. It's the same thing, but it's space poodle. It's lost, please. Introduce yourself. Hi, I am D4 and D1.

You can call me Dandy. I'm a war-forged druid, circle of the moon, so I'm really good at shape shifting into animals. You'll be seeing a lot. I might even, now that I've seen a poodle, at least a balloon poodle, maybe I'll shape-shift into a poodle with packtactics?

You'll be a robotic space balloon pool, balloon space poodle. Chuggles is a consummate professional, so as he creates his mastery of balloon art, pierced through, and it would look exactly as the creature would in real life. So I made a balloon, so. Probably.

Definitely made a space suit. I mean, I don't know. It's pretty. And you're turning into like robot animals, so it can be a little like, it doesn't have to be like biologically correct, you know? It can just be, the god of the vantras said it was kind of cool. Okay, if you want to turn into a poodle, that's fine.

Just all right dragons? No. No. I look like a kind of humanoid, you would imagine as humanoid. It's very robotic. I have metal on my body, but also made of plants, with thorns and vines all around me.

actually in my chest, there is a sprout. I was created and developed by some gnomes on a planet. And I was a robot that was created by them just to farm and basically create plants and make sure the land was luscious and amazing. But that town ran out of resources and I was unable to fulfill my job of nourishing the land. And so here I am floating through space.

And I have in my chest the last sprout of my town. And that's kind of the life force. that's what gives me the force to keep going. And that's what I look like. What am I doing on this ship? Well, I'm overriding the hard drives with good microchips. I'm bypassing Chuckles' Killjoys.

I am doing a robot thing. I am. Rebooting the mainframe. Yeah. The ship is. Look if the quantum flux doesn't resonate with the Flabonium, I am in. The protocol 3569 says we go into that direction.

So something like that, you know, but monotically, that direction. Space navigator. Yeah, space navigator. I love that. Helping with the star charts in the water. Ooh. Star charts, nice.

Nice. I love that. Is your bucket made of metal, by the way? Because that's a crime to run. It is. Or we're like, we're kin in a way. In a way, I'm just a bunch of slime in a bucket, if you think about it. I think it would have to be something that couldn't be affected by like an acid, right?

So you would have to be a metal or glass bucket. And I don't think glass bucket makes any fucking sense. Glass bucket makes it. No, no, I probably have some, if I ate so, like, if I had like a kombucha in the morning. And I'm 98% of kombucha. It's true. It's a plastic janitor's bucket. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's got this little white yellow on the bottom. We can wheeled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we can wheel himself around. A little tentacle comes out and wheels itself. If you've seen Breaking Bad, you know how bad it would be if I were in porcelain, so... I would know that's all that same. Episode two.

I'll say metal because I don't think plastic exists in Adventress. I don't know if you know that's setting that well. It's spell jammer. We're in space. Oh, yeah. So it's funny. the setting at all. Oh, sweet.

I have a plastic ray gun. Yeah. Shit. Moss, please enjoy an inspiration. Here's your plastic rata. Oh, did you? You said class, right? Yeah.

Yes, true. Yeah. Okay. Richard. The name's Rhett. Oh, in character. Okay. And I'm looking for my partner,

like, or bounty hunters. And my ship's in the shop getting repaired. And he took his ship. to go, you know, see if he's still alive or something, I don't know. So I'm killing time and trying to make some gold. And I'm a GIF with big sideburns, probably wearing like a mechanics, you know, jump suit or whatever you would call that. On the ship, I would be helping repair anything,

keep up with maintenance. I have all sorts of tools that I can use to maintenance or repair any part of the ship. I also have a robot dog that is smaller than you might expect. His name's Hank. Oh. And he is one of those dogs that's like, burp-p-p-p-p-p-h. With like a little ear. Exactly. And so it's, it's, so in the morning I might wake up and I'll, I'll sort of activate him, wake him up for the day with some space treats. They're just bolts. He has sort of a swish nose and a curly tail and these sort of stout and wide.

You have a giant robot, bud. That was going to say. Hanky. And, yeah, that's about it. All right. Oh, I guess my class is, I'm in our Battlesmith Artific. concert, Rhett had a mysterious past in the interplanetary space force or something, you know, some sort of gift.

The Solar Federation. The Solar Federation. We have assumed control. And he left that life and turned to bounty hunting because that's really all he has left. Excellent. Yeah. Rich. Enjoying an inspiration.

Wow. And there would be a great many dog, robot dog treats on the ship as the captain. also has a robot dog companion. Oh, perfect. So very, very fast friends. Aria. Yeah, real quick, I was gonna say, it's funny or if you don't give him inspiration.

Just for him. I was not he was waiting for me. The captain is Jimmy Neutron. Sorry, please continue, please continue. Zetas, Le Penins. Use the force, Harry. So many people are triggered. So my character is Kavir.

He is a, it's Hadozzi, right? Forgive me if I say Hohzen. I think it's Hadozzi. I think it's Hadozzi. I think it's Hosen. I think it's Hosen. I'm going to say Hosen. We can call him Hosef me if you were.

But he's a Hadozy, a warlock. And he is just like, he has fun meeting people. He likes meeting people. He's a little bit of a swim. though. He's taking advantage of people that he knows can afford a little bit of loss here and there. He'll never take advantage of somebody that, you know, is down on their luck. And because of this, he's sort of set up a little bit of a gaming den on the ship. Ooh.

Might have visited once or twice. I definitely have an illegal gambling habit. Who's my week's wage? How do I roll dice? No, you suck him off in the dish. You see that the diet is rolling around. I'd like to think from now on, I have a D20 set just floating in me at all time.

Amazing. You'll see me usually carrying a large, like, I'm trying to figure out what it, like, an earthen, What would you call it like a bottle? I think like Garra from Nogor. Gorg. A sake gorg.

And which contains my genie. What? And it's And it's also my loaded dice. But if we don't talk about it. What kind of genie is?

Are we allowed to know? It's a space genie. It's a space genie. Dumb. Read the context. Clues. Oh, a Dow. Yeah, it's a Dow.

I'm down with that. I am very deaf. After having spent the time with these wonderful characters, I decided to stop taking their money. And so I'm no longer goodwinking them. Except when we deserve it. Okay. Yeah.

That's a good. Excellent. Is your job on the ship just to swindle us? I don't really have a job. I've kind of convinced everyone that I don't need to do work and I'm here to provide entertainment. Hey. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you probably would have gotten a job like being like a deck hand. If you're agile as like a Hadozzi and you can climb. Right. I don't know if you're just climbing that. Yes. Yeah. Let's you get out on the ship and you're like,

you know what you don't have is a gaming commission. Area. Thank you for sharing. Moving on. I'm moving on. I'm moving on. Yeah.

Um, please enjoy an inspiration. Oh, man. Um, I need this. Okay. So you start off on the Cyclops. You've all woken up, you're getting ready for the day. And you follow your normal morning routine, meeting each other just for a quick bite of breakfast before you head up to the exterior deck, uh, to, uh, start supporting the voyage. Uh, you.

You're closing in now, this promise to be about a 10 day journey when you set out. You're seven days into it. You all came together from the port town of orbit terminus. And yeah, you meet each other at the breakfast table. And a little autonome rolls up and delivers a large, plate of communal gruel. Space gruel. Oh, I love space gruel.

It's a communal space gruel and places it on the center of the table. And says, enjoy. Orbit terminus. What's the name of the autonome? Um, R46. It's written on his forehead. Oh, thank you, thank goodness you have that very handy name tag. on your forehead. Thank you, rag.

He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it. What? Is it like a grief rag? I have my hanky thief. Oh, it doesn't stop. Wow, very impressive. Okay, enjoy breakfast.

Oh, here we're all right away. Is he on like a single wheel, like one of these? No, no, no, no, he has, he's like, you know, kind of like, almost as if he is made of brass about the size of a gnome. No hair or facial hair. And he almost looks like he glides, leans very, very lightly forward, and without taking any steps on two legs, we'll just like... Hmm. Kind of like Rosie from the Jetson. I'm guessing we each have our own bowls of gruel, and it's not troth style?

The gruel itself is actually troth style, but you would have... placed bowls in front of you for you to serve yourself. Get out of my troughs, though. That's your trough, though. Space pool again. I'll pour myself half a bowl knowing that I'll be cleaning the rest of your bowls after you're finished. As I reach for my bowls and then some gruel,

I'll turn to chuckles and say, you know, after what is now the seventh day of that same joke, I still don't think he finds that fun. Well, you know what they say? Eighth time is the charm. You ever stop thinking that it's, you know, I mean, it's kind of insensitive that his name's written on his fucking forehead. But I ask him every morning what his name is.

Well, because it sets of the joke. Oh, I have my own rag. Oh, it just keeps coming. That's hilarious. I think 46th is the number of times you've told that joke. Riem just plugged in. The 47th time is the charm. Well, you know, I feel like this gruel need the smile.

I'm gonna reach into my bowler cap and pull out two eggs and a piece of cooked bacon and do a smiley face. Now it makes me happy. Where did you get those space eggs and space bacon? Oh, out of my hat. Could you maybe fetch them for me? Oh, no, I've already used up my powers for the day. That sounded like an excuse. I need to be very conservative with my space eggs and space bacon.

Do you know what the space inflation rate is now? It's not good, that's for sure. Okay, well, everyone, have a nice breakfast. I am done. I mean, for now, you mean. Is your bowl totally clean? Oh, yeah. It's spotless.

All right. About five seconds. You can have one. Oh, thank you. Are you going to finish that? Yes, I'm still working. Oh, okay. That's fine.

Does, uh, does Kibir Duke? And he doesn't move his mouth. Does that how he's eating it? I just, me, have, chopsticks. Krul is my favorite. I've got one in each one. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh my.

That's fucking hilarious. As you all are eating breakfast, I need you to roll a group perception check. The first roll. Come on. Ow, what? Let me use my inspiration. Sock,

Surnit, blue. Better, better, better. Oh, be okay. The first roll at the gates, I'm going to use my inspiration. Is this perception? Perception. A 22.

Wow. Oh, tuckles will enjoy five. 16. Seven. Okay. So, Kibush, you would notice this first. But as you're eating breakfast, a little, a little, like, rat scurries up onto the bench next to you

and works its way onto the table. There are rats on the sheep. I mean, is that unusual? I thought I had caught them all and dissolved them inside my body. Well, I mean, he's just making himself present for your dinner, so go out of head. I will go and I will catch this rat

and I will dissolve it inside my body. No, don't do that. I love the space rats. But they bring nothing but disease. Space rats run the universe. They will eat our food. They will tamper with the instruments. No.

It does start to nibble at the communal gruel as it. Oh, he's hungry. I'm just gonna grab it and put it away. You keep that rat under control. Oh, hold on, wait, before you put him away. Now he has a little bowler cap too. I admit that's quite cute.

As you pick up the rat, you put it, it is a very cute rat. It is a very cute rat. What color is the... Oh, it's gray. It's space gray. Oh, it's a nice space... Spaceship gray. Yeah, it's a spaceship gray rat.

What color ours? Beattie. Beattie color eyes. Yeah, the color of beads. That's on his tail. My pink tail? No, more like a lighter gray. Not quite a space gray, but like a stone gray.

Like a space stone gray. Like a speckled. This description is going to become very relevant, so I hope you're taking those. Thank goodness you're so invested in this way. As you place the bowler cap on this road, Danny, you would notice very quickly in your hands that goes incredibly still. I'd like to see if it's still alive? Roll in animal handling check.

Oh, 17. It is very easy to tell that it is still alive. but it seems almost like it's paralyzed. Hey. I'm gonna try and talk to you in the rat, and you're like, what's going on? Does the rats pass away? I don't know.

It seems like it's alive. It could just be scared. I can't tell. I'm gonna try and whisper to it and like pet it gently. If it's dead, I feel dissolved it. It's not dead. It's not dead. I mean, I ain't good to, if you're, if you're,

If you want, if you're all full from breakfast. I thought it's fine. Are you sure? We'd be cross a battle later. No, it's fine. All right. You'll tell me if you cross? I will, I view.

You will know when I am crossed. All right. Can I tell anything? What did you say to it? I was just asking it, are you okay? What's going on? For a moment, the rat looks up at you and moves. It's mouth.

opens. And all of you will hear this, but not in spoken word. You'll hear it like a memory floating from the back of your mind to the foreground. When the gray queen trembles and the crescent night falls, free your mind. I told you, mice run the universe.

Did we hear this? Everyone would hear it. Yeah. When the gray queen trembles. What, not hails? When the gray queen trembles and the crescent night falls, free your mind. Was that some kind of... Was that the rat who just said that?

Who says that? You all heard that too? The rat just said that. That was the rat? Yeah. It's just some kind of... I told you rats run the universe. Oh!

Psychic space rat. We told you we should have killed it. No, never. Not bad. I see the problem. This rat is full of wheels. I'm going to reach behind its ear. And I'm just going to pull out and there's going to be a bunch of little unicycle wheels.

Oh, he's full of wheels. And they'll bounce and like scatter all over the place and roll off the table. You all heard this voice. Yes. The gray queen trembles. class and night clean you mind I don't understand

are we all sure that's the rat nuts and we're all having some kind of shared hallucination for meeting the space really the rat we all know

Chuckills hears voices all the time oh that's true dandy and Chuckles I need you to roll a deck saving throw

at disadvantage that I mean doesn't sound like any of the voices that are normally oh everyone else roll a deck saving

throw at normal So I got a six. I'm going to use a twist of space. Wow. Is that different from one of these or that's just one of these? Oh! That will be a 22. Wow, okay.

And should I also use a twist maybe? What do you roll? I rolled a six. Yeah, I'm going to use a twist. Okay, I'm going to use a twist. And it's a disadvantage you said? So you just roll it one. Roll whatever the worst one was.

That's better. It's 11. It's a solid 11. Okay. Six. Yeah, I'm failing. 20 something. 11.

15. Okay. And 815 as well. If a portal opens and we get sucked into the prime material plane and this whole adventure isn't in space, I'm going to be very angry. A black hole appears

where the rep was previously. You're pulled into a tavern. There's a job board of Dublin. No, no. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Let's give him, fuck red blue.

Dandy, as the rat is looking at you, mouth still open. John never moved to form words, everything that you heard in your mind, in your mind. It looks at you in your eyes as it quickly, its left eye darts left and then back to center, and then explodes. That rat just exploded. That rat just exploded. The rat has exploded.

Is it like a kinetic explosion? Yeah. Gore and Vissor? No, no, no, yeah. Gore and Visser at the top, like the... Get blown away. Oh, yeah, yeah. Anyone who was over a 13, you take two points of damage.

Okay. Anyone who is under a 13, you take five points of damage. Oh. As the top half of the rat, almost like, from its abdomen up has just like ballooned out and blasted bone, viscera, tooth, gore, shoots out. Some of it landing very solid, well, chuckles, you definitely, uh, yeah. Chuckles.

As rat viscera flies past him. A tiny rat rib. I float, I somersault back as if I'm falling and breaking my neck. And you hear a horrible crack. Just kidding. And I will stand on the wall on the side of the cafeteria and I'll just be standing directly out with my feet on the wall. Oh!

What the hell? And I'm gonna reach into my pocket and pull out a gigantic space pistol. Have I lost my touch? Put it down. And I shoot it. I told you. To hold it.

It's all it hit it. Attack? Sure, yeah. You're a one advantage. It's in half. Well, I won't two sixes. It's still moving? No, it's not.

I don't know the bottom half. Okay, just for funsies. Just to make sure it's really, dude. Is Danny still holding it? I believe Danes put it down. The remains of that. Yeah, the remains that. 15 to hit.

Wow. Oh, six. Jesus. Deft marksmen that you are, you pull your gun, you fire at the lower half of this rat. and just disintegrate what's left of it. By the gods. Someone's fucking with us.

Well, it's okay, Dandy. You have a green thumb, not a gray thumb. I have a gray thumb, too. Oh, well, maybe you're just not good with horrible psychic Eldridge Abomination rat. What? I'm a great thumb, too. I have a big thumb and oh no!

I'm a walk back down, I'll step on the floor, and I'll sit back down, oh no, my clown suit is ruined with rat guts, gonna pull out a big seltzer bottle, and just spray it with water and use presidization to clean myself up. You do so, you take out a large spray water bottle and you can splash yourself all all over. Well, yeah, as if you're getting, you're getting wet. And then as it melts away, you are in a perfect clown condition.

Pristine again. I'm not sure what happened. I'm, I'm, I'm usually good with rats. All animals. This was some sort of psychic rat. Perhaps. Do we think that the message is carried towards gibberish or something that we have to be concerned about in the future? That was no fucking rat as far as I'm concerned. That was some sort of meat puppet or something. I will clean up this mess, but we think there is more danger. Why take a look at it, see if it looks like natural? Maybe you would know how. I don't know.

I don't know. I want to like look at it and see, because I'm just really like, at this point, flabbergasted that I couldn't tell that this was not just a your average rat. Oh, look at the brain. It's skull. Roll a, let's even be animal, survival? Could be medicine. You could do survival, you could do medicine.

I would say rule- Or animal handling or nature. Animal handling is all one, yeah. Okay, I would say roll a animal hand, I would say roll a nature or medicine check at your discretion. Whichever is higher. 15.

Oh, there we go. 15, okay. As you As you're looking through What remains of this rat? You have kind of the you have shards of it In your palm from bone Visor as you were holding it as it exploded The bottom half just completely disintegrated by red

You're able to see that what is what remains seem very it seems very much to be What you would imagine to be a normal a normal rat with one minor exception that stands out to you and you're not sure why, but at the behest of chuckles, looking through some of its brain matter, you see a dark black like smudge, almost like... Okay. Well, I'll replay that information to everyone. I notice this smudge.

There's a smudge in this rat's brain. I've never seen that before, and the rats on this ship. How many rats have you dissected on this ship? I've never dissected the rats on this ship, but this is just so different. Have any rats exploded on the ship before? No. Have any rats spoken to you with a very ominous threat in your mind before? It's hard to tell.

I think you know. Isn't that hard to tell? All right. I mean, I think we gotta report this to the captain. I agree. Bring it. We're having it in my hands, especially the brain matter with the dark smudge. Okay.

Do I, question, do I have any of the viscera or rat on there? What did you roll? A 15. You would have dodged, I mean, you would have some viscera. You would have dodged anything like bone matter and material, like lodging into you, but you're probably like a little bit in the splash zone, if you will. Someone took a paintbrush and just sort of. Before we go, Kabush, do you mind killing me up a little bit?

That's my pleasure. I give you a little sprits. Oh, no, I like it when Kaboo's stuff it, though. I give you, like, a warm hug, and by the time I leave, you've been de-juiced, let's say. I'll take a hand you. I'll take a spritz. That warm hug is very good.

It feels very nice. All right. For a moment, you feel as though you can't breathe as Kabush comes in and just melds his form with your front portion and sees to your cleanliness as he then separates. And it felt surprisingly nice. You feel a little dirty by how nice it felt.

He feels nice. And, Rhett, you enjoy the spray water bottle washes over you. You feel almost like a nice shower as your whole body. Everything washes away, and you're back to your pristine self. I forgot about that opposite. I mean, it's probably a little more. sanitary at least. I mean, he rolls on the floor and he absorbs rat guts, you know. Well, he's always kidding. His excreting waist through pores.

Yeah, I mean, he's in a talk. He's just one big an anus. It's really all he is. There's nothing wrong with that. A little bit of strange biology makes this all you need. Anyone who cares to look down and sees that my foot has gushed out and like taking care of the floor. Just mopping things, you know. Making sure that thing. Stay hygienic, it's important. Our differences is what makes us beautiful. Even your pseudapod appendages.

We make our way to the captain, yes? Yeah, please, yes. All right. Let's go, follow me. You would know that the captain at this time of day, even in the morning, even by breakfast would be at the helm on the exterior deck

on top of the ship. you lead the party out. You're able to move towards some stairs. Very easily move up and out to the exterior deck. As you move, you would have seen this throughout all the days that you were on the ship, but almost like lay lines running throughout it. There are like cutouts in the wood that the wooden veneer of the inside and the outer. hull of the deck that pulse like a blue, an electric blue energy of some sort through different

sections of the ship. And there's one very easily that walks up the stairs with you, heads out to the exterior deck as you make your way. Turn that off. Can we fix it? What? I'll try. No, it's not a bug. Hacking system Hacking system Oh, shake my hand No

Hacking system Ugh, chuckles We both hacked each other's System I need to reboot I'll walk up to the side of the on the corridor and just

My hat stays on my head despite me me, my head being completely down. You make your way to the exterior deck. You follow up the stairs. As you crest out, the door opens, you walk onto the deck of the ship, and you see an absolutely magical landscape

explored out in all directions in front of you. Gorgeous, vibrant, pastel, pinks, silvers, purple, blue, streams of light and clouds dance in every direction around you. You marvel at the view, something you'll never be able to get enough of. Cotton candy skies as far as the eye can see. As you look out to the right, a pod of Kindori swim by in the distance, large space whales, massive, like dark blue bodies, three eyes on each side of their head as they walk back up, cutting easily. through the atmosphere.

As you look out to the left, you see a collection of space guppies, fish-like creatures gliding through the expanse. For a moment, you swear you can catch a glinting light from the back of one of the guppies, but it's gone before the thought can become anything more than a momentary curiosity. That was a momentary curiosity. I'll reach, I'll take off my hat and I'll pull out like a paper cone and I'll reach out, like I'll grab onto the railing and reach out and I'll use minor illusion to make it look like

I'm collecting the cotton candy. Oh, delicious. I'm like, oh, it's like nebula. You do so. You can reach out and you reach just out over the deck and as you scoop up, you use your minor illusion and the swirls end and dance and rotate at the end of your, uh, snow cone holder. Uh, and you take, you take a big bite and you believe very strongly that it is delicious.

Hmm. Oh, it tastes so delicious. I don't need to eat or drink or sleep. Because I am re-bored. But this is so sweet. I went to my dentist the other day and they said, chuckle. Your teeth are falling out. And I said, but how?

I floss every day. And then what kind of floss to you? The candy floss. That's pretty good. I have never been to the dentist. I hate that I am laughing. I mean, that's pretty good. I see why they keep you around.

It's because of my medicinal practices. They couldn't afford anyone with a license. I mean, you know, you keep saying these like weird, cryptic, kind of ominous things about not being alive or being reborn, not needing to eat. Like you're not a real biological creature. I'm guessing that's sarcasm.

Oh, of course. No, sarcasm and irony is the highest form of comedy. And you reminded me I need to take my special medicine. And I'll open up my clown jacket and you'll just see a bunch of like mysterious vials and I'll pull out a bottle. It's his thrill joy. That hits the fun. Are the space guppies, like, just all out in space all around us? Or they passed?

They were kind of like, yeah, they were kind of like out to the left, probably about. They wouldn't be too close to the ship itself as it sails through, but probably about 80 yards away. I'm wondering if I can try and coax one over. I would use Druid craft to sprout like a plant, a guppy food, a space guppy food, plant out of my hand and try and coax it over. Ah, these visuals are magnificent. Roll a performance check. Oh, 10. Oh, well, hold on one second.

A guppy coming right up. And I'll flick it over to you and a little balloon animal guppy will circle around and it's part of inspiration. If you'd like to add that. Oh, I'm not going to flick it away anymore. And so as a college of creation, my mode of potential. Oh.

It features and creates, right? Oh, yeah. So basically, you're able to add a D6. And it does extra stuff when you use it, right? And basically, and then once that happens, it'll pop into bubbles. And there might be a little guppy swimming in each of the bubbles. And you can re-roll that and take the high or die if you care to. That's pretty good.

With a 13, one of the guppies notices your display, especially as it's a guppy comrade comes to the display you create in your palm and bursts. It catches its eye and then recognizes guppy food and swims over to enjoy guppy treats from your palm. It's good to see you guppy's here. Good idea, Dandy Guppies, good eats. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No.

You should really get to the can. Oh, you should speak to it, Dandy. This rat really makes this robot have emotions. Oh, well, it's good to have emotion as long as you're willing to talk with somebody. Oh, apology. Let's just hope that this doesn't explode. You should probably get to the cat today. I'm with him.

Ragf! Rag, fasten the forward ropes. You hear a shout from the helm. The helm, that's going to say the steering wheel. Not the helm, no, not the top bend. Captain's wheel. You look up and you see the captain, Captain Cyberius, Ignaticus, Dinahmetisicus.

No, Siberius. Hold on, let me write this down here. Siberius. That was an eth or the, etherethi? See. I wrote it down at the C. That's right. Siberia.

Ignegaticus. Ignaacus. Oh, like fire. Igna Gatticus. Oh, I get it. Gattaca. Ooh, good film. Dino metisicus.

Oh, like a dinosaur. Oh, no, with a Y, probably. Dino. With a Y, yeah. D-Y-N-O- what? Oh, I don't know. M-A-Tichotus. I'm just going to write down something vaguely Latin.

Oh, no, I always call them thin for sure. Yeah. Yeah, I realize now. He said wrecked at batty on the hatches? Rag. Oh, rag. Yep. And you see R4-6 zoom out and address a rope that was swirling towards the front of the ship and secures it down.

As you look above, the mass stretches up and clots almost seem to catch wind, though. You don't feel wind out about you. Oh, well. Do we reach the end of the playlist? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pull out glow sticks and I hand in the job to everybody. There's just a lot of mysterious talent, you know, I'll pull out my bichord.

Oh, no. God. You look up and you see... It's actually your final lividate. DeRood Sandstorm. It doesn't do anything, it just blasts it. You look up and you see the captain at the helm, a gnome, about gnome height, whatever that is,

in a long duster brown coat with a fanciful red hat, a feather in it. And at his, he has a large kind of like gold buckle, almost like utility belt wrapped around him. him and goggles that sit just above, like on his forehead, just below the hat. At his side is his dog, you know to be chunk, which is a large basset hound. He's very cute. He's also a robot. He is also a robot. He is also a robot. Don't really, though.

But he's there for now. And you look up as the captain is barking orders about the ship. Captain, you got some bad news. What? You just woke up for the day. How are you bad news? Well, there's no other way to say this. There are rats that are talking on our brains and explode.

On the ship. Breakfast, no less. Dead. At breakfast. Brewing on our breakfast. In the middle of space school. I have seen many rats on this ship and this rat has a black smudge in its brain

and I'll like show it to the captain. She looks at rat brains for phones so she knows what she's talking about. I sure did pick up some weird travelers for this one. Was this a warf rat? Was this a space rat? What are we dealing with? You know, pull down his goggles and they'll extend out as he looks into they'll like

as he looks down into your palm to examine the rat. Well, yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. Well, I don't know anything about rats. So, me either. I mean, you know anything about rats? I should. I should know a bunch about rats.

Well, is it a space rat? Is it a wharf rat? Is it a regular rat? Forest rats? Yeah, you would know very easily when you saw that it was a space rat. Space rat, yeah. Silver rat, desert rat. It's a space rat. This here is a space rat. There are many space rats in the universe

and in space, especially in space. Lots of space rats. I've seen space rats at the space zoo before. Wasn't a very good space zoo. If you put a space rat in a world, does it cease becoming a space rat? All rats are in space. All rats are space rats.

Ah, good point. Everything's in space, actually. My head will turn into a large comical bomb and s psh, and it'll blow up. It's just minor illusion. You just blew my mind, Dandy. The fuse comes down as you like, shh, and there's like a, as your head explodes.

It's like a little zh. And then as it happens, it was a, it was a balloon animal. You'd actually, while no one was looking, you had tied. and your head pops back out of your your your your feet reach around like trying to find my head oh oh I'm okay if you'll never get used to that um well it's definitely a space rat I I mean I'll throw it overboard it's probably nothing does the part about it exploding not bother you there's a lot of things explode in space I don't know. Maybe it just got some kind of space disease and blew up. It's rat. Touched our minds.

Maybe it's just, you know what? Maybe it's space plague. I heard of space plague. Whoa, no. What a space plague? Yes, once. Turned your skin into bubbling boils. Your limbs fall off. Your skin just disintegrates. Old wounds just open right back. I'm presuming your head.

probably explode too. I mean, it sounds real bad. So maybe these rats are laced with space plague. It's gonna be a bad situation on the ship. Did the rat look diseased at all? No. To me, it just looked normally. It seemed to be imperfect though. What does chuckles know about your genie and like your relationship with it? Uh, we were bonded under good circumstances. So we we found each other like I found him I'm originally from like a desert okay okay um and so yeah classic yeah classic uh two moons yeah oh yeah yeah yeah stumbled stumbled upon it uh after so my like my family had been my father had been swindled and taken for everything he was worth and sent our family into like poverty and whatnot and so i ended up finding this genie in the desert and

And that's kind of when my luck turned around and I started. So I would have known this story and know that you have. So I'll say, oh, well, Kavir, what about your friend in the bottle? It's a Dow in a bottle, baby. You should use it. No, I'm furious you should ask. You should ask. You should ask the Dow.

I mean, I feel like it's a lot more wisdom than any of it. What do you think, Ait? What do you think about these rats? I can ask him. He does a backflip. So I'll kind of undo the gourd from my back and place it in front of me. And to summon him, I effectively speak his name and ask him to come out. And so I'll kind of walk back and sit and just say his name.

So it would be basically al-BORs as d'estine Jal be Aubirun. And then he'll appear. And like basically the cork will pop off on its own. And then sandal, he'll swivel around. And then he'll take his form. Sorry, I smacked the camera there. Oh, what happened? Yeah.

And then he appears in front of us, you know, arms crossed. But very much a humanoid, but made of, of, rocks and sand and the sand is kind of perpetually just like flowing through it, kind of like an aura across him and it's kind of cycling. Is his bottom half like swirley style or does he have legs? Swirley style. Oh yeah, like the constant falling sand like it's not falling anywhere. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So he doesn't fuck. Yeah. That's too bad. You don't know that. You don't know what that sand do. You know, you know, you know what that sand do caboosh? The cork pops out and immediately disintegrates into sand itself as a swirling mass,

rotates around the gourd as, does I have a name? Al-BORS. Al-BORS. As Al-BORs, as Al-BORs takes shape in the air in front of you. And then he'll, he'll, so that's like, why have you summoned me? And so we were going to ask about the band.

Yeah, what did he think about a space? I feel like I should have a beam or something. Yeah. We are very confused. We found this rat and he blew up, which already felt like a problem. And then Dandy found a smudge on his brain. And so we are wondering if you know maybe what the hell is going on, or what is about this rat?

You summoned me to look at rats? Yes, but... Maybe spree-plate. Base plate. I don't know if you know anything about spaceplay. Do we have Pelegna? Is that kind of true? What is this actually? Is this a spell? What does this do?

Just kind of conversing with the genie to see if he has any universal knowledge. I have no actual reference. Stop summoning me for true. No bullshit. Yes. What is it great? I'm limited power. Even in his face.

Heavy magics are at work here. But not emanating from the ship, extending out into space. Something reached out and touched it. Cain suks. That is trouble. Don't summon me again to look at rats, and then I go to swirls back into the gorge. and the gourd restops.

Ooh, I love him. I knew he would be upset. I mean, that's very helpful knowledge. It wasn't a magical rat. It's not plagued. But it wasn't the magical rat. Something, like... Oh, magic.

You're saying something from the outside, like projected itself onto that rat. The rat is a messenger. We're under attack, is what that means. Well, that was pretty fucking crazy. You've been able to do that the whole time? And all you do is we're on gambling, dad? You did someone of fucking dust,

Jeannie? I provide entertainment. It's not just going to gamble. My gosh. I mean, I can't. I don't really need to sleep, so the knife get boring. Why not indulge in a little gambling habit every now and then? You're conversing about the rat for about a minute or two when from the top man, you hear a, you hear a cry to the captain to, draws attention out to something in the distance, almost in the direction that the ship's heading in.

The captain snaps the goggles back down. Extensions wore out and cover in front of it. And almost in like a crazy, like, geometric way. They shoot super far out and looks out in front of you. And he says, you just, no, it can't be. this far out. Nobody make a sound. I need everyone to roll a group Stealth Check.

There's gonna be this gadget on my belt that I'm gonna tap and I sort of like it kind of shimmery, like a clothing device. Ooh, that I'll roll with a van. 17. So as soon as the top men started shouting, I would have attempted to go up to try to help him. So, okay, I'd be,

walking up the mast. So if I need a roll of disadvantage, you are, let me know. You have made it about halfway up the mast, and you now hang horizontally like a flag in the wind. You can roll it normal. Okay. As you've stopped walking. Maintain the estate.

What did everybody yet? I enjoyed an 11, so I'm just like, 26. Oh, my God. 17. Still? 17. Good. Eight.

Wait, oh, stealth. Nine. Okay. You feel it before you ever see it. A dark looming presence weighs on you from the very edge of your field of vision. Out to the side, the same school of space guppy you saw before, swims incredibly fast in the opposite direction. A school of, a shimmer of scabbers follows directly behind them, not chasing them, running.

Finally, something comes into view. At the very edge of your vision, you make out what seems to be almost like a meteor of some sort, a comet. And then it blinks. One eye at the head of a hide of a hideous, cragly face, a giant maw, it slowly slithers towards you. What you would think is about the size of a meteor as it approaches just begins to get bigger and bigger. You understand that the scope far greater than you would initially have estimated. It's craggy carapace covered in thick, spiky plates.

It seems to continue on forever behind it, creating impossible darkness and its wake. Seems to consume the very life essence of the astral sea as it glides its way towards you. The pastel, pinks, blues, silvers

that exist out as they approach this creature seem to fade into darkness. It's making its way towards you before something seems to to catch its attention before something seems to catch its attention off in the distance it changes course and it heads away these visuals are magnificent

is that a space dragon was terrified would I know what a space dragon is or is there a I would say you may have like heard tell of space dragons but you would know that that was not a space dragon you would have probably

only heard ghost stories of what was in front of you the captain pale white what you were just faced with was an astral dreadnought something you've only heard of in the darkest of nightmare tales something you didn't even think existed

in the astral sea something to scare voyagers seeking treasure keep only the strong exploring into the depths something that horrible, that evil couldn't possibly exist. Is that my hash for dreadnought? What?

I was the captain. Was that an asshole dreadnought? Would we have all heard of this? They're like rumors out there, or tales on it? Probably, it would be like, yeah, it would be like you would think of it as just a fanciful ghost story. Like a leviathan, like a seter-sailers tail. Like a lockness monster.

Or a leviathan in the absolute depths of the ocean. It was. There was. But this far out. What do you mean this far out? I thought, yeah. I thought they don't exist. I thought there were fairy tales.

I mean, part of Pike. He always insisted they weren't real. But in the back of my head, I always wondered. There's a section. There's a section in the deepest recesses of the Astral Sea. Sailors call it wild space. Nobody ventures there. When I was young and cocky,

I took a fleet of 30 ships with the promise of stories and, and, and, and, expansion, unimaginable power and treasure. I took 30 ships into wild space, and only mine came out because we encountered just one of those. I'm going to say, man, moved on, doesn't mean it's not going to come back. Get us the fuck out of here. How much further until we're at this bounty?

Agreed. I pay a very small, sad violin. After a very comically large tear will run down my face. Roll performance check. Oh, I plus 11 to that. Oh, damn it. Natural 20. My first natural 20 at the table is Chuck was playing.

Tiny violin. If I could cry tears, I would. Your mastery of the tiny violin is like buck. You put, uh, I don't even know, what's it made of? Horsehair. You put space horsehair to Dragon Heart.

Space. Space cat guts. To space cat guts. No, I needed my mouth. And the The song that emanates from your instrument is ethereal in its creation. Everyone is moved.

The sprout in my cavity is glowing. Everyone's heart grew as two sizes. That's a terrible condition. We need to get the hell out of here. Did my heart finally beat? That's something we can do, Captain Luch, cloak the ship from this astro dreadnought. Seems to be heading in a different direction.

We'll spool up the energy now and just flip around. We'll take a longer way to the hall, to the salvage. Anything we can do. I am here to him. Well, I don't know. You got any ideas? I can take a look at the... Are there engines and spell jam around? I mean, my character knows how it works, but I'm sure I can take a look to see if I can make us go a little faster.

Thinking of the quantum spin-huffer. Yes. Yeah, there are engines just below deck. There's probably two if you can look at. There's always two. And there are, actually. As you mentioned before, there were, like, running energy. pathways that came up the stairs with you that came from below deck absolutely you would know an engine room that emanates power and courses it to the different sections of the

ship to allow it to move through the astral sea a an energy conduit of such runs directly the length of the deck all the way to all the way to the single mounted cannon that sits at the head of the ship. The ship's only defensive armament. Yeah, we can take a look, Red. We'll get the engine spalled up right now, get the lights back on. We'll see if we can't get this engine kicked up

and get the hell out of here, be able to put some distance between us and it. Captain Dynomaticus, is there any black paint or pigment here on the ship? Yeah, we got some. Well, we got some stuff you could grind into black pigment. I could spread my body around the ship and perhaps darkens its color. Wow.

You can do that? I can absorb it in my body and ooze around the surface. Wait, is that you? Do you leave all this ooze all over the deck at the end of the night? I tried to clean up after myself. What do I'm supposed to do? Look at me. Okay.

Let's turn the lights back on. Let's get this engine spooled up and let's get out of here. He shouts out. And as the lights kick back on it, actually, even though it's very colorful out, when the lights of the ship die, it's very, it becomes very dark around you. Though in the distancing, it's very colorful. And as so focused on not drawing the attention of this astral dreadnought, you missed that another ship had approached as you were quieting. and being stealth. And as you kick the lights back on,

you actually see that above you mirrored and flipped up, there is a pirate ship that had snuck in right above your, in your blind spot. And Gith Yankee pirates have leapt from the ship and are descending into your gravitational pole, and I need everyone to roll for. Space pirates. Try to let loose.

No, my goodness. And I started blasting. And anyway, I started blasting. That's pretty good. It's a 20. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatrous and gain access to tons of exclusive perks,

including a monthly movie night, and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Shrown over Saltmarsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragon 5th edition. And don't forget to snack all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you.

You'll also notice, this is pretty terrifying. I should have mentioned this first. But as you look out over the bow of this ship, a massive void octopus has latched itself to the head of your ship. What in the hell? Do we think that this is very clearly a pet? Like, is there a captain who says, release the space crackerun. Yes, yeah, exactly that.

Okay, Roger that. Shmaby Shmoans, the captain of the Yit Yankee. Oh, she's my favorite porn star. Shmavy moan or shavy moan. Oh, okay. You got it. You got it. A space a lapod.

Where are we right now? Are we up with the help? You would be, yep, yep, you would be that side. Do I know the Topman? The Topman is R4-7. Oh, rat, oh wait, no. Red. Rat?

Oh, Rat, we found your cousin. Oh, are you okay? I was trying to go help them, so I'm somewhere on the mask. Yeah, you would actually, yeah, Chuckles would be like over here. Oh. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry, yeah, that's a mask.

You'd be up there. Oh, I'm on this mass, yeah, whatever mass we were closest to. And then that. Oh, do you have that cube that you were using, Derek? I got lots of cubes. You want some cubes? Yeah, I want some cubes. It's chunk.

Oh, chunk. Oh, look at chunk. Chunk and Hank are just pals. How many cubes do you want? Give me a couple cubes. How tall are the masts? It's a dungeon master. The masts are, how high?

Did you get in that time? Yeah, I'm just referring to you how tall, how high I'd be up. You probably would have gotten like 10 feet before the call. Okay. That's fine. So just two blocks. Two blocks. To be chill.

Chill upon. And this will be, if it's okay, this will be Hank. Yeah. Perfect. Both the brown. Yeah. What are these guys? Tentacles.

Those are the tentacles. Okay. From the big boy. From the big boy. A very important question. Have I seen a job? constrictor snake at the space zoo. Only a space constrictor snake, right?

A giant space constrictor snake, excuse me. It constricts a bit. Sure, you would have seen a giant space. He's going to do a giant robotic snake. That doesn't be the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I agree. That's cool.

So the same you're met with is as the lights kick back on, pirates descending from above you as the ship, when you look up, you actually see the deck of their ship. ship, they're upside down above you as the pirates descend towards you and land on the deck of yours directly in front of you. A monstrous space octopus has taken hold and its horrible maw open at the end of the ship. Its tentacles wrap around the edges and have actually slammed into the deck, causing a power disruption to the energy conduit that runs the length of the exterior deck.

And what was everyone's initiative? Oh, I got a roll. I forgot. Yeah, yeah. Mine is a six. So, 20 to 25. 20. 20.

Initiative, I'm sorry. I'm just so, I was so focused on my block. 14. There's 16. Rolls is so bad. 13 for chuckles. Okay. Wait, 20 to 15?

What was it? Like, everybody was here? Everybody was here? 16. 16. What did you have, Derek? 16. Okay, who's your going first? Derek. No, no, you can go for it. All right, all right.

Okay, get him, K's. Yeah, get him, K's. Come on, okay, let's fucking go. D4ND1, you can call me dandy. Shibbhmi's not dead up. I'll take that down. Chuggles, where are you? Oh, 13.

Lucky number 13 for Chuckel. Are we going right to left here? I were going on this one yeah and then Kavir, what was you? Six, yeah okay, so this is the first

yes, top of the round and then that one. Perfect, okay. Do you guys don't want to do it differently? No. I think we do the opposite, but it's fine, you're the DM. I'm just jamming out looking at the giant

Joeyfish. That's the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. This? This is a spelled jammer or DM? Yeah, spelled there a, and someone asked earlier, What level we are? We are a sixth level.

Oh yeah, six level. I pop that in. So obviously there's 60th Yankee pirates, four tentacles, and a giant space octopus. Yay. Great, I love this. Um. Spocktipus? Yeah.

One of the other kinds? He's a Yankee. Spocktipus, like Spots for Star Trek. Oh. It's a silly plan. It's a Spocktipus. It's a portmanteau, which is itself a portmanteau. Yeah, you get it.

Just wanted to let you guys know for all the educational You learn watching one in the Vantational stream. Meese, who are these two? Which ones? This is the captain, that's his dog. Okay, here. Yeah, the captain's like the gnome

with the goggles. Captain Noomton. Got it, okay. And then, um, oh God. Do we, does he go by Sid or does he go by his pool? Goes by Sid. Okay. Yeah, just in the beginning.

The baby, so you're cartiest, diamond egg, and a lot of godobotagus. Like that. Bodagus, bodicus. I'll say it every time. Yeah. throughout the you hit, oh fuck

that's all right you're gonna wake her? D-H-8-6 well I didn't need one yes but I go over there that damn octopus off the gun Rhett the start of the round is to you

I will run up to the railing here and I'll just say I fucking hate pirates and I will pull my space gun out of it might kind of holster on my side,

and I will fire two shots at him. You get them, right? Ooh, both aren't great. That is a 11 and a 20. I guess 20's pretty good. Yeah, 20 is up. Who are you shooting at? I'm shooting at this, like,

just the guy like right below me here. He has like a magic wand, and he's a GIF, and he has like long flowing hair. Okay. Long flowing hair, gith wand. There's some sort of like magic. staff that he has. Okay.

On the Yardt. I think he's just happy to see it. Oh, yeah. Or he'll be it. So, I'm presuming that the 11 misses. The 11 would miss. Yep. But the 20 does hit.

That is a 3 plus 6. That's nine points of damage. You take out your pistol and take aim just over the railing of this ship. Two blasts shoot down. One firmly catching this pirate in the shoulder. Excellent. And then for my bonus action, I was like, get him, Hank! And Hank will run up to this tentacle and go

and bite it. And that'll probably hit. Does it work like chalk? I think that's a 24 to hit. Oh, 24 definitely hits the tentacle? The tentacle, yeah. And then did it add it? Hold on.

I think it's a, is it a D6? Let me just check Ropex Defender. Defender, Iron Defender. Okay, got that, sorry. Yes, so he will do bite attack, which is 1D6 plus 3. I roll the 1. So it's four points of damage.

And the target is a creature, and must succeed on a strength-saming throw and take an extra, extra damage and be grappled. So is it a creature, technically? The tentacle? Yeah. Okay. So it needs to make a DC-13 strength saving throw.

18. Okay. So Hank will try to bite onto it and hold on, but it will pull out of his travels. Okay. And this will, all of the, if you guys want to help me to summon this, all of the gift pirates will just move

to towards whoever they are close. closest to attempt to get to them. But kind of spread, you know, don't know for Hank. For many squares. He's generally a couple. And they have 30 feet of movement. Okay.

Yeah. He's going up the stairs 10 or five. Like how's that? That's the same. But that griff is a dick. Yeah, I was gonna say, do I need to bust out the calculator? Well, because it's stairs, then you just counts as.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, is anybody in range of the pirates? Uh, I'm 10 feet up, uh, So I am in... The one guy who looks like Rekon is next to Hank and to Rhett. It's a gorilla. The girl one is next to Rhett and to Kavir.

So Kavir's in range of three of them. Rett's in range of three of them. Hank is in range of one of them, and that's it. As far as melee. If they have like space guns or whatever. They have their coulaces. and they will attempt to attack. We'll say three of them will go for Rhett.

And then who else were they near? Kabir and a lot of them has me. Oh, we are above them. Does that matter? Oh, yeah. Would they be able to, yeah, so I guess if there's a railing and they don't know if they'd be able to staff.

No, it would be raised and there's a railing. So if that's all they can move, then. Maybe they don't move that way then. Maybe they kind of are going. Maybe you could give them cover. If they have like half cover or something when they could try to stab up, I don't know, however you want to do it.

I don't think they'd be able to reach you from where you're standing, so they'll just move to get to close the distance. White's down. Let's put this. He's space pirates, solid directions? Dandy. Hank's been in great a way.

It's to you. What did we just rule about the gap? Normal movement. Normal movement? Yeah. The stairs? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no.

They have to go around, they have to go to the stairs. Derek, you have to go down these. The green's up, grade is up. You could jump down, you probably can't jump up. But you could leap over the banister. Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking I'm gonna jump down. I'm just thinking about my turn. Just wrap your own.

It's like Zach from people. Yeah, exactly. Balls off. Yeah. It's catapult. Uh, dandy? Oh, my turn? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Okay, I am going to, let's see, I'm close to this guy, it's okay. Let's see over the ham. I'm going to go like right here. Actually, I'm going down the stairs, like the crazy mania right here. It's fine. And then I'm going to actually go one away. Prepare to eat my robotic snake.

I'm going to cast, repair. I'm going to cast Thornwick towards this evil. pirate, space pirate, and Cassia Thornrith out towards him. Yeah. Cool, okay. You're all in attack. Oh yeah, crushing it, Danny. Ooh, I'm 27 to hit.

Oh, never mind. That'll hit. Sweet. And then two damage to this part, this one. Okay. It matters. And then as a bonus, Then as a bonus action, I'm going to say,

transform into giant space constrictor snake. And then I'm gonna, I'm gonna transform as a bonus action, transform into the giant space constrictor snake. Okay, yeah. So like, it's huge. I don't know if I don't break the ship here. No, this is an issue.

All right, we're gonna, uh, let's use King K Root. Yeah. Or Wari. I also... We could also use the Medusa that's behind you are. Yeah. Let's use the Medusa. We could also switch it to Neheda.

This is amazing. Yeah. Can you hear wrong? I turn into him as a T-Rex almost every fucking dark wings. Oh, it's been too lower, too lower, too lower. Bam, Medusa. One one down, one down. Right? Medusa.

Oh, snakelid. This is huge? No, but we can... We'll put it on the cross hairs of the four square. Oh, no, huge, I guess, would be three by three. Let's use this one. Yeah. Oh, yeah, large.

Yeah. Wow. What does he's a skin, girl? Okay, that's outrageous. Lee, awesome. That's the fucking coolest thing of that. And I'm going to say, I'm huge, bitch. I have these space pirates.

Okay, all right. So like, space pirates. Like beast wards, your, your form. like rotates and changes and shifts. And in a very much like, you have a massive expansion of mass as you turn into, you seem your companion turn into an absolutely massive,

like, almost like a Stelix, you know, form like gigantic, tiered metal snake. Have we seen her, have we seen her transform to this point? Or is this the first time you've seen it? I think this would be the first time. Oh! Unless we've gotten into combat in the past.

I would never, I would never, yeah. Yeah, the reason why I transform, because I'm a tiny little, you know, war-forged druid, and I can, you know, do stuff with plants, but it's not that great. And so really, I've honed these skills of transforming and shape-shifting into these beasts. Specifically. You learn from the beasts, and then it allows you to manipulate your metal in order. That's so cool. When my resources, I eat.

my team who's going to this place are at risk or could be harmed, then it activates this thing inside of me, this urge. It's a weird. Bollamorph. This is a credible. Transform into 5N3K. Snack. 5N3K.

Or activate protocol 5N3K. Oh, that's pretty good. It's SNCC. Protocol. 5N3K. That's so fucking good. Smack. Excellent.

You do so. And it's fucking cool as hell. Is there anything else? You do? I guess that's your full term. Caboosh, it is to you. You think you can come on this ship and attempt to attack us?

Be my guest. And I'm done. That's the only reason I wanted to play this character. I will race forward into this group of four here. In the middle of them? I can get there, right? Yeah, you can get there. And you can squeeze past through them

because you're a fucking plasmoid. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's gonna go. Can I get into the center of all of them? Yeah, you're a gushing. I gush. I lose my human appearance. I am now just a moving blob of wax,

splashing forward like a tsunami. And you can see in the inside of me that there are bubbles, almost like an elk of seltzer starting to emerge. I look like boiling water. I'm starting to steam and froth. They all take three fire damage as I rage. Yeah!

Oh, my God! Not on the Maya ship. And I will attempt to reach out and absorb one of them. I'm going to attack number two back here, and I'm going to attempt to grapple him. With a, that's gonna be my athletics versus his athletics are acrobatics. Yes.

Okay. Mesa's all about grappling. 14. 27. So he's grapple. What the hell? Loaded dice. And I will use my, that was, was part of my attack action to grapple,

but because I have two attacks as a barbarian, I am going to attack recklessly at advantage. Are you gonna- double-nuckers? Yeah, she's part of one through six on it. I've grappled number two. There's three number twos. We'll leave him as number two.

I am grappling this one. Okay, oh, that number two. And so I hit, I assume, with a 22. Oh yeah. And so I'm going to do 1D8 plus five damage. that's going to be seven, and then plus two because I'm raging, so nine points of blood-juring damage is what he takes.

To note or two? My vicious attack, exactly right. And whatever they're happening. What does your attack look like? Oh, I'm frothing and steaming, so it's like being splashed with hot water. I'm so liquid and animated at this point that it's impossible to tell where they start

and where I begin, because I'm just splashing and spraying them, attempting to grapple in all directions. I am a blobulous orb in the space. If you've played League of Legends is basically Zach. As you read it up, at the very beginning of your movement, you started that bubble, almost like that ALCA sensor motion. And very quickly, anyone who looks at,

you could see how it excelled as you entered your combat form. and now bubbling, almost like a pot boiling over, frothing at the edge, you're standing out in all directions, causing mayhem and havoc. It's fucking amazing. As they're getting fucked up. We'll see what happens because I recklessly attack.

All attacks against me are at advantage moving forward. Okay, all right. Good to know. Thank goodness. I know how else. So you're saying this chance? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I got a freaking giant-constrict metal steelix on the map

and whatever else the hell is going on. So, uh, chagel, Sassia. I will continue to walk up the mast, and I will call down to Kavir. Kavir, what's your favorite animal? Kovir, can you hear me? Juggle? What's your favorite animal?

Apologies, I could not hear you with all of this going on. Fah, fuck, fuck. A, a falcon. No, I can do that. and I will flick it and a balloon falcon will soar down on top of you as I get Granu Bartic inspiration and you'll hear as it flies around your head like Jana in League of Legends as you have a balloon falcon around you and I will continue to walk up and I will eye number three the Skith Yankee and I'm going to move my full movement which is

30 feet up, so I will be 40 feet up in the air. So we'll just, we'll say that each one of these is 10. I'll do four blocks. Stay stacked in eight blocks, my team. Yeah, no, we're not gonna jig at us. We're not gonna jing of this shit. So I'm 40 feet up. Oh, no.

My legs. My fucking legs. I didn't have a balancing acting clown cards. I skipped that class. And I am going to reach into my hat. Oh, you pirates came to the wrong ship. You weren't expecting a space clown, were you? And I'm going to pull out using my, uh, my Bartik college feature, which is, um, shit, what the fuck is it called? Performance of Creation. I am going to pull out a 200-pound

anvil. It's a bag of colding? And drop it on number three's head. Oh, that's amazing. What is that, how does that work? You tell me. It's a 300 pound steel-reinforced iron anvil. I've looked this up.

It is within the gold requirements of what I can produce at this level. And so a 200-pound anvil will fall 40 feet. on the head of number three. I have looked this up for icebound. Don't even tell me. If you want to, it's one D6 for every 200 pounds per 10 feet is how I would roll that, but that's you. I've read, I've looked it up.

Is 300 pound anvil? Or no, it's 250 pound animal because I can do 6 UGP. Yeah. Well, I rolled a 10 on my deck saving throw. So, um, some people have said like a bowl, Like a boulder, like a giant throw boulder sometimes, you know, whatever that damage is. On which one is this?

This is on number three. Oh, you have grid if you want to. He doesn't roll anything. You just drop an anvil on me. Oh, on your seat. Yeah, you can re-roll your tape. Oh. This is pretty funny.

Yeah, this is pretty good. Yeah, this is pretty creative. I looked it up, a grand piano is too expensive. That'll be at a higher level. Safe? A safe, I thought was a little too. It had to start with an antival. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. What number was it? Three. Three. Cut. Oh, Jesus. You do this. You take out your bowler cap and you point the bottom towards it.

They kind of like. And then out. Oh, there we go. A hundred pound and a pound. As it soars from 40 feet in the air, it lands. it lands directly on top of this pirate who doesn't even see it coming and it caves in his fucking skull

and his head cracks into his shoulders and he's under the anvil and you don't have to check you know he's fucking dead. Thank you, suckles. You got some of me there, but I don't need it. Oh, great. Okay.

Kavir, it's to you. Where am I? off there. Okay. I'm gonna, what's the one behind? Caboosh? This is four and that's one. Okay.

So I'm gonna turn to four, and I'm going to, now apologies for my ignorance here. Can I attack and then cast a spell, or casting a spell takes an action? It's just one action. It depends on what the action is. You can do a bonus action and then attack. So attack calls an action,

and so if the spell calls an action, can't do it, but you can spell bonus action. Got it, okay. Thank you. I'm going to use Eldridge Blast. How do you have flavor it though? Blast of sand maybe? Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Yeah. Like coming from your gourd? Yeah, exactly. So I'll reach back and then pop up the cork and then cast the Eldridge Blast. That's pretty fucking gawk. I would say, even, Even with your permission, as combat begins, it uncorks,

and the corks spreads out into sand that now emanates around you. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you're just like, you're gonna. Yeah, yeah, and that's cool. As you stand there, the swirl cloud of sand envelops you. Okay, all right. And so you would roll 2D20s

because you can shoot two elders blasts now that you're able five. I had a question about that. I was gonna ask if each one is counted as a different one. All right. Yeah, you'd roll for each one. Okay.

Okay, so let's try the, oh, 2D20. 2.2.2. Wow. So one. And you can use a twist. Did it one miss? One, uh, was an actual fail. Oh, yeah, who's that?

Let's twist it. Come on. We got twist. Stakey chap. All right. So that's for one of the, I use the twist for one of them, right? Yeah. God, I didn't get.

Well, this was a 10, so that's a three. Well, three plus. 3 plus and you have it, you can roll a D6 for, uh, Oh, you're, you have your Marik Inspiration. You, you, you, 10 plus, uh, 10 plus 8. 10 plus 8. So 18 is that it? 18. 18 definitely. And you roll a 3 and it was a 17, right? No, it was a 3. It was a 3. Knock the 10 into a 17. Yeah. Oh, so that's a 3. So 3 plus 7 is what? 3 and 8 and is 11 and you can roll with D6 if you want to. Oh, yeah, there you go. Okay.

And then what does, what do you get additionally? Plus 3. It's 811. So that would be 14. 14. What does he get additionally if it's an example? It will pop in a loud, like, horn noise or a loud clown honk, and it'll do an additional thunder damage that you can roll. Thunder damage. In space? The first was 18, the second is 814. You stand there sand swirling about you

and two blasts of sandstorm energy reach out and both land easily into. this pirate, one of them as it cracks allowed. Oh, yeah, pops off front. So they both hit? Yeah, both. Awesome. Absolutely. And then, yeah.

So eight and that's not. A two, yeah, two. And it'll do the three additional thunder damage as it bursts. Each of them will. Oh no. Oh, just the one that you use. Okay, so eight and three is 11. The balloon falcon pops.

Two. So 11 to 2, 13. 13 points of damage to which one? To number 4. Okay. The Tenticle 4. Tenticle 4. Oh, Tenticle 4?

No, no, no, number 6. Pirate 4. Oh, Pirate 4. Oh, Pirate 4. And that was 13? That was 13, yeah. Okay. And that's one, Kabush had already hit, right?

No. Cabush had done damage to that one because it's surrounding Kvush. Oh, yes. He's flaming, like, boiling, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. chemical reaction. Yeah. Okay.

Very cool. All right. So that'll be monsters too. Anyone who, for this frame of reference, if on the furthest tentacles from me currently, if you were on the opposite end, so if you're beyond the furthest tentacles, you don't have to roll. Oh, from you. Yep. If you're beyond the furthest tentacles, you don't have to roll. That's just, that's just...

I'm the line. Is that same? So you guys all have to roll? No, you don't have to roll if you're on that side. Oh, okay. So just. If you're equivalent with the tentacles and towards me,

oh. You will roll added advantage a Dex or Athletics or a strength save. Oh, a strength save? Strength or athletics. I already got advantage on me. Strength or decks? So it would just be good, right?

It's just me. No, and the giant constrict. Oh, right, right. How many twists we got? Oh, level like same. Or for how many twists we got? Okay. Yeah, probably need more.

You just use it, yeah. You can use them. I mean, I'm taking, so I don't need it. You can use it. Yeah. All right. Oh, 17. And you said athletics?

Athletics or, oh, no, no, no. A strength save or a strength save. Oh, it's saving throw. Okay. Dexs and the screen. Which I think you have. You should be fish it either way. Yeah, I'm gonna enjoy a 12 on that, a 13.

Oh, okay. With a 13, the Crackin at the end of the ship, the octopus, opens its maw and inhales with a darkness that isn't quite like air that pulls you towards it, but almost like the dark pole of space itself, and you will move 10 feet towards it. Okay. I'm still grappling the gentleman that I have in my gooey-gooly this one. They come with you. Anyone you're grappling will come right there. Okay so we all go 15. There.

10 or 15? 10. That's it. Yep. Perfect. And then I'm going to go this is a pole right? It's a mast, yeah. It's a stopper. She played sucked around it. She's a giant little space. No, no, she's a constrictor. It's like one of those snap bracelets.

I'm like just like slithering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. All right, Brett, it's back to you. Are both of these stairs coming up? The green ones come up, the white ones are going down. Okay, so they're trying to get up, and so Hank's in a good position, keeping them there.

Hold them all, Hank, we got them! And I'm going to shoot number six twice, and then I will have Hank make his own attack. When you were explaining that the white stairs go up and the green stairs to go down, I'm like, they're stairs. They both go up and down. You idiot. Duh. I got it. I'm the idiot.

Both probably hit. It is a... So in the pirate or the tentacle? Pirate. So, number six. So an 18 and a 26. Both hit. And then this is from all of them. them. Oh, I need to roll for this. So four, so that's nine plus 12 is 12 is 21 points of force damage.

Get on who? On number six? He did. I don't think so. Oh, he did. Oh, he did. Oh, he did. It's equivalent to the force of an ant. Burned. Tall and roast pirates. Boom, boom. Your force gun fires out and two just like blazing. One lands a solid hit and is absorbed a little bit into the leathers that this pirate's wearing.

The other finds a weak spot, sears straight through him and cauterizes a wound that comes out in the back. And he's looking real bad. Finish him, mate. And the Hanko bite in with a 20-something. Jesus. Doing a- Spirits came in the wrong neighborhood.

Yeah. Doing seven points of piercing damage. And if he's still alive, he needs to make a strength statement. Is that to get him off? He's like last. He's trying to grasp. That's pretty cool. This pirate after taking the searing hit that punched through,

is reeling from the pain as Hank leaps up and rips up and rips his throat out. Backflips the wall. Yeah, the backslips his throat. Yeah. Lats is under his throat and then backflips just back and ripped out of the foot. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Like, floating into the ass, just for the purposes of game state, I didn't realize the tentacles could be injured. So number two should have taken the three points of fire damage and the other stuff. Oh, that's right. Okay. Perfect.

Red is that your turn? That's my turn? Excellent. So anyone that was in, that is currently, was gonna move up closer to- It's liar's turn. Uh, Hank a little.

Hey, is that? No. No. Oh, okay. It's my first time. Aw. Mason's food. You guys get it.

Anyone that is currently within 20 feet of any of the tentacles is, uh, is. Except for this guy? Is he grappled though? Or no, the tentacles, snagos.

Within 20 feet? Yep. I'm within 20 feet of two. Anyone who's within 20 feet of a tentacle, is it just you? And Hank and Rick. Not Hank. Hank.

Hank and Rick. Not Hank. If Hank dies, I die. If Hank dies, we all die in real life. Does a 17 hit caboosh? It just barely. Two. Wow.

Okay. Right? Brutal. That's not a very happy man. And if you want to fish for the 20, it's a advantage if it's an attack again. Oh, I will fish for the 20. Don't mind if I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got to start picking it. I didn't get it. You take nine points of bludgeoning damage as the tentacle smashes down on top of you. Four points of bludgeoning damage. And are you in a line, Rhett and Hank? Hank? From the tentacle? It kind of depends. Okay, I'll rule the U.S. split the difference.

Yeah, kind of sort of. Okay. 14? To hit whom? The two of you? Oh, 14 misses me. And it does miss Hank as well. What? Wow. Okay, great. Natural. Okay. This tentacle slams down onto the deck of the ship as it's trying to crush. you and both of you easily, definitely,

you just slide right out of the way. Like do a little like out. Hank actually slides as he had ripped out the throat of the Pirate, slides to the side as he reclaims the deck. And Dandy, this to you? Okay, I'm gonna. Oh, I'm sorry, no, I fuck.

It's two monsters one. Okay. It's to Monsters one. The Monsters one? Oh, shit. Articles. Yeah, I forgot Monsters One was here. Monsters won.

All right, all the pirates will try and attack whoever they can. Okay. Everybody fucks up. So, welcome to combat. Everybody fucks somebody. Oh, everybody. Yeah. Everybody. I got to mention Kibush's getting hit.

I just can't see anything. So yeah, so Kibush has two guys on him. Okay. One which is grappled, but it doesn't affect his attack yet. yet. I have one. Cavier has one guy on him and Hank has one guy. No, hey. Kibush, 16 and then 22.

The 22 hits. Okay. Damn it, Bobbitt. Ooh, seven points of slashing damages. He cuts in you. Three points of thrashing damage. Oh, are you saying half damage? Because I'm raging.

You're raging. Unless it's magical, it's magically. No, it's not magical. It's just a colorless. Oh, it's just a space class. It's like using scissors on Plato. I just fucking do this. Yeah.

Ooh. And who's the other one? They can be hit by a pirate? I can. Okay. Ooh. 16. Ah, just barely.

Yeah, just barely. Just barely. Just barely. Seven points of slashing damage as the cutlass cuts into you. Okay. It's more like a cut more, really. like to react.

That's okay. Every reaction, absolutely. I do. It's a hellish rebuke. Oh, my gosh. I love it. Hellish rebukes is my favorite. It's awesome. My gosh.

So I sort of recoil after the blade, and then I'll just point straight to the pirate number four. And hot sand scolds them. Hot sand swirls around him. Ah, fuck. It's like the beach at 3 p.m. Ah, fuck. Must make a deck saving throw.

All right, shoot of warden flip-flops. 12. Does not save. Oh. So now you get, what was that? Is that four? What? Listen, I'm just reading the first level evocation.

This is all the correct to you? Yeah. Yeah. This is all look legit. I'm just here. Yeah. All right. All right.

These are the tens, right? All right, we'll just pull the first two. This three and two is five. Yeah. And then the other two, that's a one. And a two, all right. Eight, three, five. Yeah.

Eight and three. Oh, 11, sorry. 11? 11, yeah. You were, as you take the strike from the cutlass, as it finds purchase on your body, the sand actually moves to grab it as it works to defend you.

And then it starts to crawl up the buttless. blade and all over it begins to encase the body of this pirate. There's a quick as the sand pulses, and the pirate falls on the ground dead. Get wreck. And you say, get wreck. Yeah, okay, that was just a reaction. Yep. Uh, dandy. All right. The sneaky snake. My giant constrictor snake.

So I'm going to move up towards. I have a bunch of feet here. Some slithering over. I'll see some distance away. Slither like class boys. Protocol 5N. 3K. Um,

I haven't taken my eye off, you giant octopus. And then I'm going to see its leg here. And do a bite. So I'm gonna see if I hit, if I bite you. Fucking asshole. Ooh, 12. Does 12 hit? 12 hits? Okay.

On the turnicle? On the tentacle. Let's go. As long as it's a tentacle. Yeah. On the tentacle, yeah. And that's 14 damage to that tentacle. Which one?

Tenicle one. Tenticle one. First hit. So you like rock back and, forth as your massive steel form works up to this tentacle. Your just gigantic mall opens up and you close in and pierce on it and take like a chunk out of it, as it is definitely feeling that. But the teeth are like this like metallic, teethe shards coming out of the mouth.

As you have like razor like saw teeth in your in your mouth that you, you land on this. Is that your turn? Kabloosh. Still sizzling and popping with angry French rage. I mean plasma range. I will immediately use my bonus action to do three damage to both number one

and number two that I have grappled. In addition, because he's grappled, the grappled one takes an additional one point of bludgeoning damage, and I will use both of my actions recklessly to attack him. Number two. Yep. Okay. I believe a 25 hits.

Yeah. And I believe that a 16 maybe hits. Yeah, both hits. So nice. And so I will do, wow, four, nine. I'll do 14 points of bludgeon damage as I continue to wrap most of myself around him. As he's burning and screaming, I'm sure, I'm just Fucking die, fucking die, fucking die!

I'm just sizzling and hardening what I need to harder to punch, harden to punch him, but also warping and juicing around him in a disgusting manner. Where are you, physically? Right here. Right here. Okay. So you're wrapping yourself around this pirate

and you're punching him and you're punching him and you're punching him and you realize three seconds ago he died. So as you stop, you swirl, you reform. You swirl for just a moment, and you throw him off the bow of the ship into deep space. Oh, I obviously do that. Thank you. Getting rid of the track. Dead.

I'm the Santa! I'm out of there. Should I move this one too? Dead body? That was number two? Yeah. Well, are we doing difficult terrain for dead bodies? Well, he threw him into space.

No, no. For part of that. the other dead by. There's an anvil right here with it as supposed to be. Oh, yeah. Well, the anvil's definitely you gotta get around. Four died, right? Four did die.

Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Scolting sand ruins his day. How fuck! I hate sand! One, five, and six are still alive. And then all of the tentacles are alive and the octopus at the other end.

Yeah. Is that the octobo? Oh, wait. One is wrapped up in the cabo. Okay. Got it. Uh, choccles. I am going to keep

and I'm going to keep running up the mast and I'll say, don't fail me now, squeakers. And then I'll get, I'm going to move 20 feet up and springs are going to shoot out of my feet as I'm going to get a jump on myself as I'm going to try to triple my jump and jump to this one as I'll try to

to then turn around and have my sticky shoes then attached to the other mast. I didn't think you were to be able to be able to talk. You found a way. Make an acrobatics check at advantage. Okay, squeakers, let's go. It's the same one. Acrobatics, I plus 10, 20. You climb up the mast.

You bend your knees. your knees, you focus in on your clown shoes. You think back to that day in college, in clown college, where they talked about leaping from one mass to the other with no frame of catching you underneath. You were distracted that day, but the knowledge sunk in all the same. You leap out and sail easily spinning through the air as you do a great, kind of a graceful flip, a little bit of a barrel roll, and you land your head gently on the other mask. And I am going to then, and I'm going to walk around attached

to be facing the octopus now, as I will look down at the gigantic fucking snake and I will go, good enough! And you're like, no, no, no, no, as a balloon snake, which is just a green balloon. A green long balloon is like, give you Bartik inspiration. You blow out this,

Green long balloon. And then you quickly take out a pen and just draw a little ugly eyes and a little snippy tongue that just peaks out. I will not blow it out the whole way, so there will be a little waggly thing for the tongue. Absolutely.

And you send it down granting inspiration. Oh, look at you. Dandy. It's actually the picture of your foot. Yeah, yeah. Mip. Mim, mhm, mib. And that is my turn.

Excellent. Kavir. Oh, I need to roll for my wild magic. Oh. Okay, thank goodness. Kavir. All right. How high up would you say that portion of the deck is?

Which one? Like if I were to get on the railing and jump off, how high would. 10 feet. Perfect. All right. So as a Hadozy, let's jump off the rail. This one?

Yeah. Glide. Glide. Oh, wow it's got five. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-H. Yeah, we'll go right there. Perfect. Yeah.

And I'm going to turn around, and is that number five in front of Hank? Yeah, right there. And then I'm going to cast the... Let's do Eldridge Blast again. I'll kill you. Yeah. And so, let's see. Okay, so I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to figure I would do this. I'm just going to do to spellcasting here. I don't know that just beat the shit that thing. You leap off the banister and you flavor it as your will. Sand swirls at your feet, you cross your legs as a sandy almost cloud of sorts appears beneath you as you float gently towards your location on the deck. 23.

For what? 23. 23 hits, yeah. Okay. Who you shooting at? Five. Yeah, it hits. Yeah. I'm just kidding.

Yeah. Wait, who, and then. Yeah. It's not, we're shooting out. 23 is it's not important. Seven and two, so nine damage. All in five. On five, yeah.

Okay. You blast out a wave of sand as it hits this pirate square in the chest and it takes a solid blow. But he's still kicking. The only one that just hasn't gotten an absolutely gigafugged, but it's the first attack that's landed on it. All right. Oh, monsters too.

Oh, that's the cracking. I should track that. You should be tracking that crackin. Tracking the crackin. Okay. He gets tired. Anyone in between the two tentacles will roll a strength or deck save flat.

I get advantage on them because I'm raging. Okay. If I'm 60 feet in the air, does that kind of reach up there? Oh, yeah. Where? You're on this middle? I'm on the middle mast. I mean, they're pretty long tentacles, probably.

Oh, it's not the tentacles. He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, yeah. 27. 27, you're fine.

You plant your form, your feet. You solidify yourself to the deck, and you don't move. I imagine a little drops. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine.

Wait, who else? Who else did roll? I'm over here. I'm over here, so I think we're good over here. I got 14. I got 13. I'm sorry, I got an 18.

18? 13? Yeah, 13? Oh, no, no, okay. Okay. You move 15 feet towards it. Okay. You're pulled off the mass.

Oh, you weren't thicky enough squeakers. How does that work? I want to get pulled off. You know what I mean? I don't know how it would work, but I feel like you could be able to get ripped off. Yeah, okay. I would say the gravitational force of the octopus is not way as here. I would say that you would be able to pry it off.

There's a net. I think you can like move. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So you would, I mean, I don't even fucking know. You get pulled diagonally down, right? Yeah. Patagon, 40 feet up, 15 feet.

I mean, you land like here. Oh, wow. That's a distance. You can't get pulled 15 feet and be like in midair. So I love this, but can I get more distance if? Oh, a sticky squeak if you weren't sticky enough. And I'll pull out a red balloon and I'll cast feather fall on myself.

Oh! And I will try to stick my feet out on the next mask if I'm getting pulled. It is a reaction and I'm using a spell slot. Okay, yes. That is absolutely perfect. You whip out just a red balloon. And wherever I would land. I would say you would land maybe,

do you choose to stick naturally? Actually, no, it's still, it still turns my, it still turns my, it turns my, it turns my full speed to 60. So I would probably just land on the deck. Right? Okay, I'll say you'll land at that mast on the deck. You just won't take like, I just won't take a million damage.

And I don't take any fall of damage. Yeah, I'm fine, and it'll pop once, it'll pop with, and glitter falls down as soon as I land. I'll get back right at sea. Thank you, balloon. Good job, Hank. Oh, I need a roll for my wild. Keep you take the cabin.

Oh, no, it's a D-A-2. I am going to back up, probably take an opportunity just so that I can get a good aim here. And I'm just gonna shoot him in the face twice. Uh, one probably misses. I doubt it's 12 hits. But at least one of them is gonna do five, 11 points of damage.

Okay. And Hank is gonna attack. Nice. With a, ooh, probably misses. Wait a minute. No, I'm gonna use two spells. Come on, hey. Yeah.

Extras. Iron defender. only five. Yeah, so that misses as well. So I do 11 damage with my gun. Gun damage. I cast gun. The 10th level spell. I do gum damage. So that was my turn.

Right. Layer out. Layer, yes. Anyone who is in 20 feet of a tentacle. That's me. Okay. How many? Are you in multiple?

Or just one? No, no, no. I guess they would all just be one. Just one. Hank is within one. One. Yeah, I don't know, I am two. Come.

Right, advantage on me. And, uh, snack is within one. Snick. Snack! I don't know. I hate you. SN. 3K.

S. F. 3K. I like that. Are you a tag? 14 does not. Yeah. All right. Just miss on you. S.N.

With this. I don't know if you could see it. Nick. 5 and 3K. Yeah, 5N3K. Activate protocol 5N3K. So good. Snack, does a 15 hit you?

Oh, I'm a snack. 12, yeah. Oh, nice. Cards? Yeah, wild-shaped cards. Bays got them for Christmas like three years ago. It's a whole deck. It's pretty sweet.

So I just pick out all the, you know, the best one. It tells you the C-R. I actually need that for Grico. You do. Yeah. 12 points of bludgeoning damage. To me? The snake?

But she's the snagg in. 3K, 12 points of bludgeoning damage. You're cracking metal. Five. I'm still up. 14 doesn't hit Hank. Are you kidding me? He's an uprogram, Unstoppable Guardian.

Thanks morning, can you ever rank? Is Hank also an acronym? 16 for red. Nice track. As both of you definitely once again paralleled. Yeah, yeah. And Monsters won that have pirates one, five, and six left alive. They will spread around, attempt to get to whoever they can.

One is on caboosh already. Uh, six I think is dead. Yeah. Yeah, six is dead. Six died along the way at some point. Uh, five's alive. That was like a six. That looks like a six.

No, that's a five. Oh. Hey, five. There are only two. They're only two of a lot? Wait. The two. Yeah.

One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, okay. All right. Let me adjust. Wait, so five's dead. So Anvil killed one. Bernie Hans killed another. Uh, Hank killed the other, and then kibush killed.

Kibbush killed. Yeah, I threw him. I threw him up. Oh, yeah. Fucking Kristen Coles. Which, who's the God? Which bless you because I've just put it. It's all I wanted.

It's all I wanted today. Um, okay, so just two, just two will attack. Um, one in five. One will go for a caboosh. It gets advantage. Oh, well, it's not needed. I don't tell you that much. 22?

You can fish for the 20? Do it. It's gracious. I did not get it. Okay. And the other will attack, I don't know, whoever that gets in there. Hank?

Hank. 17? It hits Hank, yeah. Oh, so it does hit Hank. Yeah? Oh, Hank. No. No.

No. We have rules here. Doggo, no. Come on, dog. I don't regret that. Robo dog. Five points of slashing damage on Hank. It's nothing for Hank.

And nine points of slashing damage on Kaboosh. Four points of smashing damage. That's all points of smashing damage. God, stupid plasmoid. Okay, and that's dandy. Or 5N3K. I'm looking at you, giant octopus creature. And I am close enough I think to do this.

He is looking at you, kid. I'm going to be attacking the limb of the octopus number one saying, let's dance in this pale moonlight of space. And I'm going to try and like wrap myself. around it and constrict. Uh, oh, can I use some inspiration on that critical fail? Is that illegal? You can use an inspiration, yes.

You can also use a twist. Okay. I'll use a twist. I'll use a twist. I'm gonna go on this thing. Tweets, yes. But you have solid, um, 13. 13, but you have balloon snake.

But I have a balloon snake. What is that at? Uh, one D-6. 13 on the crack and tentacle. Yeah. 13 would hit. Okay. There you go. Let's go.

Let's go. Okay, and then the damage is. It is 11. And we're like wrapped, like, I'm, I was kind of thinking like, yeah, like wrapped. Imagine like the medicine symbol of the two snakes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. The caduceus? So you just on the bonte edge of the deck, the tentacle rising up and you just wrap around it, constricting it tightly. And which number was that? One.

Mm. I guess we're like touching or whatever. Congrats on your watch. And you are crushing into this tentacle, but it still seems to be arriving. Mm, try and suck me towards you. You're a weird, oh, okay.

Try and suck me to the head. Talking to the octopoles. If you tuck me, you also suck yourself. Okay. I think it sucks. If only I could. This way I remove these wrists. Okay, I'm actually turning kibbutz.

Oh, I will move here. And I will, once again, steam and hot air will spray out in all directions doing three points of damage with my bonus action to the tentacle number, whatever that is. Tenticle 2 and Space Pirate 1. And Space Pirate 1. How's Space Pirate 1 looking? Speepile one looking. Speefire one's looking bloody.

He's about to get more bloodied. Jesus. I will make my first attack at advantage. That's going to be a 21 to hit. And I'm going to make my second advantage attack. That's going to be a 19 to hit. 19 hits. Okay. He's going to take, wow.

That's going to be 13 plus 11. 11 is gonna be 24 points of bludgeoning damage. Are you adding your range damage? No. Plus two, yeah. So add four. At least four. Is the sex? Four. No, no, it's four. So plus four.

Was it full in that? 24 and four is 28 or not? Yeah, 28 points of bludgeoning damage as I just fucking murder. Murder. I would like to, if I can, gush into his mouth and explore. He didn't get into how you want to do this.

You didn't get to do this. You don't get to do that. Just remember that you also have like that guts in you. Yeah, there are a few tiny rad guts getting caught in his teeth. Some of the bones that are still dissolved. Will, um, So this guy's definitely dead. You, um, you take both of your, uh,

like amorphous limbs and you clap them around his ears. and you just crush his head. And as you do it, your hands seem to get just a little bit smaller as your ooze pours out from the eye. And he falls back to the ground dead. This is actually like a horrible, like, if you would solve this in reality, it would be horrified.

What a mess. I want to clean this all up. That's the catch. He gets upset about the best. Yeah. Jocles. That's why I'm angry. Chuckles.

Chicles. I'm gonna. I will have landed literally against the deck. You just like my shoes. Well, I'll just walk up. I'll just walk around. Walk around the mask. Yeah, walk around the mask.

He turns on his side of the back. And they'll step onto the deck upright facing this thing. And I will all, all, do a comical, like, cowboy showdown, and I'm gonna pull out my plastic toy ray gun. Oh no. Hey, how many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?

Ten tickles! And I'm gonna pull the trigger. I'm having to you have a flagged. And, and, And a comical, like, swirling ray gun is the color of my shirt, blast out. And at the very end, a little yellow feather will tickle the octopus 10 times as I cast Tom's hideous laughter on it.

You do it. You do it. Okay. It's a wisdom-saving throw. The intention is if we're going, if we're going fast, and the octopus is actively trying to. cling on to it, if it starts laughing, it becomes incapacitated and we just fucking,

it just pulls off and we just keep going. Well, no, we never got the ship started again, did we? Oh, so we're still. Yeah, we're still. I was really hoping that you would just get manatee out. Yeah, the ship is still. Yeah. Let's see what happens.

Where I roll? Wisem saving throw. It's fucking amazing. DC 16. You can- You got a dread. You got a dread. Oh, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna dread it. No way, man. It is. No way. It is. DC 16. 15. 15.

That's- The octopus needs, and the octopus needs to have an intelligence of four or higher, or five or higher. So I mean, it might be, if it can follow commands, I imagine it'd be smart enough,

but. Yeah, I, it's smart enough. I don't know. I didn't write its intelligence down. You didn't? So it passes enough. Oh, God. Okay.

Tenticles get it? The feather it comes out and it starts like getting in it first like a little nothing and then it's like yeah as if he used to laugh um the first two tentacles let go yeah the first two tentacles let go only the closest tentacles uh as well as the um as well as the one held by uh D4ND1 are held on. I kept gun, prepared to meet God.

Oh, I need to roll my wild magic. God, I hope I don't get it. Wild magic. So it was D, so this is now a D8. You're just going to ignite the ship. Where's my D8? Okay, I'm good. Okay.

Come here. Oh, my gosh. After I recover from laughter I'll look back out and do I have some line of sight of that tentacle one? Yeah, I mean the snake would be like totally blocking the...

Well, and also it's like kind of wrapped around it so there are openings. Like it's, yeah, cool. So I'm going to cast Eldridge Blast again to be able with one towards each of the two tentacles. Okay. Which ones are left actually? One in three, it looks like.

Yeah, one and three. One and three. Okay. Some music, man. Makes a robot want to dance. I made a snake. I was on a day, and I am. Yeah.

11 and a 24. For the hit. On the crack. Oh, no, I was supposed to put some tentacles, yeah. Both hit. 11 is the AC. Sweet. All right.

Eight damage to one of them and one damage to the other one. We'll do eight to number one. Do you decide? I don't know. You tell me what you were shooting at. We'll do eight to the right to number one, and then one to number three. And then how much to number three? What?

Yeah. All right. So you fire sand out in both directions. Both hit each tentacle, and they take the tentacle one is very clearly losing its grip on the ship. And it's looking a little rough. Tenticle 3 is looking totally fine. Monsters 2, I wrote this down. Okay.

The Cracken once again does its vortex. It's laughing. It's incapacitated. I can re-roll the wisdom saving at the end of its turn. No, because I tickled you ten times. It's a little feather and it just drifts all into space. Sweating, horse shit. Oh, okay.

This is not ruled it's written. Yeah. I wrote a 17. It stops thinking that's funny. Okay. Well, at the end of its turn, it's fine. Okay. Red.

It's back to you. You're gonna pay for hurting my dog. I'm gonna shoot twice in the face. Does a 14 hit the pirate? Yes, just hits. Yeah. So both of those are gonna hit, and I'm just gonna pow-pow.

Bang, bang. Is this five? This is five? This is number five. Okay. That's the last pirate left, I think. Okay. So that is a six, eight damage,

and then, well, I guess, is eight damage? Kill it. So she wants, good damage. Is he still standing? He looks dead. Okay. So then the second attack is gonna

go to the tentacle number three. Okay. You fire off your first blind. It very clearly, it very clearly sears straight through his heart as he falls over the balcony and just begins to float away. And then I will basically look,

in the same line of sight, I'm just gonna take the next shot at the tentacle, which did eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, 13, 14 points of damage. Which one, technical three. Three, okay. Well bang. Jesus.

You fire your second blast at tentacle number three, and it lands a searing burn up its, up the length of it. and it definitely felt that one. Bonus action. But wait, dish more. Let's see, should I have old, Hank? What's his speed, actually?

I actually don't know. Oh, it speeds 40 feet. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Can't quite get there. So I'm just going to have Hank move down here. That's about as far as he can go. Uh, and... To it, go. I'm gonna leave him there and then, uh, let me see,

bonus actions. Sounds. Um, I'll just have him take the Dodge action. So you'll sort of see this kind of like cloaking device. Or like, uh, you know, maybe this like like, like Force Field sort of shimmer over him and he's a little more defensive. for the next round. Absolutely. You see that.

Layer action, okay, okay. Our rule this will automatically hit you, but Tenticle 1 will smash into the ground and because you're wrapped around it, you will take the damage regardless. Okay. I think that stands to reason. I think that seems sort of reason. Point.

10 points of bludgeoning damage as it crashes you into the deck of the ship. Bricking that. actually denting probably 15, 20 feet out as it crashes your steel body into the frame of the ship. You aren't grappled. Did you know that? Yeah. Okay, cool.

How do you like that? What was that man? Until it end, their creature is restrained and the snake can't constrict another target. Oh, it's restrained. Oh, you're restrained. No, the creature, you. Yeah, you're restrained. Oh, but you make an attack roll so it doesn't matter that it was.

Yeah, it's just disadvantaged. But it's just like, you just take the damage. Yeah, it just laid down. Just want to like make sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, game state, yeah, yeah. And a tentacle, the other tentacle on the other side will attempt to attack, uh, who's that, who's that near the? Hank. Hank.

Who's the other one? This is a career. That's over, over 20 feet. Yeah, it attacks Hank. Not Hank. Disadvantage because of the first field. That's, that. I was 17, so you know.

Mm-hmm. 16. Are you literally shining? Yes, Trey. He shined ashes. He missed. Can we get us the clacking game two controller? He sees shine dancing.

What is it? Oh, my God. 17. Yeah, so, okay. Monsters 1 are all dead. Dandy. Fucking go. Go.

I'm gonna, I guess I'm still with the, with the, wrapped around the tentacle. Tenticle one. I'm just gonna keep on squeezing the crap out of that tentacle. Keep on squeezing the crap out of it. It's gonna start looking like a tiny little sliver in my hands. I sure hope. I hope. Let's see.

It's like a spaghetti. 17 to hit. Get you the sausage out of the case. Oh, yeah. Nice. Well, and you would roll at advantage because, it's restrained. So it's super hits.

Did you get it, that's one? No, it was 19. 19. All right, you've hit the crackin? Let's get on with this fucking heist. You've hit the crackin? And it's 14 damage. Okay, that's one?

Yep. To number one, yeah. Yep, to number one. You constrict the tentacle, your steel protocol 5N3K body wraps around it and just begins to school you. begins to squeeze.

You see a black ooze pulses out of the, the like bobs that are on it, that run up of it, and it starts to release slowly back into the air. So it's dead? Is it dead? That tentacles. I can move forward towards the dragon. You give me the opportunity to use your movement

as it is slowly hurling you into the astral sea to climb back onto the ship if you're not. Oh yeah. I mean, my tail's pretty long. It was on the ship. You don't have to brand. So you can move 30 feet forward towards the crack in, I think. Yeah, how many feet?

30, right? Whatever the, yeah, 30. How do you get up this other student big enough? I mean, is this up? Is this up? She just like, I'm just going to do it up. If you've ever seen anaconda. I'm gonna happen to be right here.

John Void is floating out in space. Yeah. Okay. Caboosh. Oh, bush. The caboosh is loosh. Man, who do you this from? 20, 30, 40, 50, 50, 60.

Do you like catapult? 75. Okay, I dash because I have a movement speed of 40, and I get up here. And that's the conclusion of my turn. I just juice. If you remember those Capricent commercials, where all of a sudden they turn into liquid metal. Yeah.

I just, yes. And I suddenly make it there. You juice is. weirdly silver metallic form and you just title wave forward, ending up right on the other side. He's still out of range of... You can't hit him with your storm, though, right? He's out of range of the storm.

No, and I can't negate my allies, so I'm not going to... Oh, well, we can take him. Oh, you're doing it? No, that's the biggest drawback. And it's always three. It's never a role. And that's the benefit of... Was that a HV subclass?

No. No, it was... Storm Herald. It was... Sanathars. Sanathars. Shulks was this to you. Oh, yeah. It's the one thing that I don't like about the price.

I need to just check a Thorthera thing very quickly. Don't even try. Soroster points. They'll never figure out. No, I know how to do it. Oh. I need to show off. I'm tired of these motherfucking snacks

on this motherfucking spaceship. I am going to you, the Thor three points. Oh, it's my first time using a thaw three point. I'm so sore, I can't set up three. Well, I thought that joke was funnier than only laughing to six seconds. Oh, Kaboosh, it's good to see you.

It's good to see you. You're looking a little small. Yes, I'm whatever the percentage of, whatever the percentage of 49 out of 65 is. Yeah, and I'll look at the Cracken, and I'll look at Dandy, and I'm gonna look at the Crackin again. I think we're gonna need a big a snake,

and I'll pull out my hat. I'm gonna pull out like a bicycle air tire, and I'm gonna use twin spell and thunk, thunk into, and I'm gonna cast it large on both of you both double in size. You are now gargantuan. This ship is going down. And you are now large.

and you have advantage on all strength, Biz. I'm sorry, it doesn't do anything for you, but you do an additional 1D4 damage. Me now. I mean, literally. That's actually... I mean, it's literally a six by six. Do we have anything that six is a crawl?

I mean, I think that's fine. Get chuckles out of there. Well, you begin to pump up, you use your bike tire and you begin to pump up your allies. and Kabush is like, I love to pump up my friend. Oh, my mom's just so I'm really bad. But as you pump up protocol 5 and 3K,

it begins to displace you in Kaboosh and pushes you directly within 5C. So I think it just doubles in size, but it just makes gargantuan. It goes up like one size according to, because like a purple worm. in a tarascus still gargantuan. Oh, they're all still four? Yeah.

They're all still four by four. So I will still get pushed up this way and Kibbush will get put, well, you're, you're. I'm now two by two. Two by two. Oh my God. Yeah, I would say you get displaced right, right into. Oh, well, all of these. Here, I'll just replace myself with four cubes.

You just served them up on a silver ladder. Oh yeah, this, well, this is huge. Yeah, I need four by four, which is fine for cubes. I'll just be, you're just fucking just gigantic. Um, I'm big. Two by two. Well, I always lose to pump up my friends. Hello, Mr. Octopus.

Um, and unfortunately, now I need to roll for my, my wild magic. Oh, does that keep going down? Yeah, the home brew thing that that makes it prove, it keeps, the more that it triggers, it gets more likely. It gets more likely. Nice, so. Yeah. Yeah.

And so D12, so D12, D10, D8, D8. and so this will be a D6. And because of these meta magic, and one or two will trigger it. Well, we'll blow up and die. Well, we'll say. Everybody's eyeballs ignites. Perfect.

So I trigger wild magic. Oh, ha! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. My teeth will become sharper. My eyes will glow like fiendish. Oh, my God. Jeez. What the hell?

What the hell? I forgot to take my head. to take my medicine. Uh, okay. Sorry, I should, I meant to have my wild magic table up. Okay, I'm gonna roll D-100. 45. Almost 42.

That would be better. And I blow up like a balloon. And I have levitate on myself. Oh, now I know how my balloon animal feel. Kibooosh, what do you face? Caboosh, what's your favorite animal? Come here, it's to you. You get a snake too, and I give you barked inspiration.

There's a balloon snake. It just absorbs into my giant gelatinous body. It sails towards you. The second it contacts you, you just pull, you pull into it and you have a floating snake balloon in your gelatinous form. It'll pop soon. Okay.

I can't do it. I'm gonna cast Eldred Blast on the Bromating tentacle. I'll use the rest. I'll float over here. Just to get out of you guys. Right. Both of both beams.

16. Okay, so I critically fail the first one. Does it matter if I have a modifier? No. You can have a plus 300 and it wouldn't matter. Right. All right. And then the other one's at 24.

24 death plants. Okay. Let's these use that. because you know the tiger is most. Oh, yeah. Two, oh, and so I do two damage. Cruck. Man, this crackin, gotta be shitting its cracking pan.

Yeah. I just, just an army of, like, enlarged to like plum creatures. And the tumbles, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the scene in the chocolate factory, or it's just like, boop. Like, spawned in the cloud. It's big.

feet in the air. Two points. What? I'm 20, that's levitate. Oh, ha, ha, ha, automatically. Just automatically. Oh, two, yeah.

Automatically, I just rise 20 feet in the air. I love to laugh. So, well, if I'm out of range. How do you, so you cast the spell and then you cast the spell enlarging them, pushing you closer, and then wild magic triggers? Yeah. I mean, you know, it's kind of, it basically happens when I cast it. but I think it would be like they would pop out

and that would be like, oh, ho, ho, ho. Okay, fine. So what do you want to do it? It happens. It happens in the map. It's 20 feet in the air. I can't move.

Okay, two points of damage, it hits the tentacle and it is two, okay, all right. Everyone who is, all right, everyone who is, all right, everyone roll a, well, I don't know, who is back there. Everyone is very close to the, octopus roll at a disadvantage you roll normally and including Hank yeah Hank can roll normally Kavir can roll normally you three roll at disadvantage but

you would roll you would have advantage so he cancel out strengths yeah strength yeah oh disadvantage you said oh goddard disadvantage correct yeah wait is it strength though your advantage so it would just be they'd be can't cancel out okay because enlarged is just a strength turn saving through strength saving throw yeah yeah oh Matt toy I will enjoy a 10 that's the cracker 25 okay okay I mean my inspiration to save a be so funny we just all gotten out 20s game over that is fun false combat is fun but 14 for o'tee for Hank okay Hank moves 15 feet closer.

Oh. I imagine would I be disadvantaged or what it just automatically fail? Because I'm levitating. Ah, I was just, yeah, that's great. Yeah, thank you. Suspended in air not able to like leverage anything, you would just get... You were automatically pulled into the mall of the octopus. Like, like a speedball.

Oh, my God. Um, that's just a 22 hits. Chuckles is just dead. Chuckles, no. By consuming a dupil. 23 points of damage in the mouth of the octopus. You are restrained in its jaws. Okay, but I'm not swallowed.

You're not swallowed. You're in his jaws. It's trying to swallow you, but like a giant one of, like, like gum that's like too balloony, and it can't quite like chew you down. Like in God of War where Cratos goes in the dragon's house.

Yeah, exactly. 23, yeah, okay. I crushed the concentration. 23 points of damage, you said? Yeah, 23 points of damage. No. You are, what did you roll? I rolled a 20.

Okay. What did you roll? 25. Okay, all right, great. Okay. It's like chewing on like a squeaky chew toy. The lesson bite. I squeak just from the inside.

It is to you. Oh, rat. Let's see. What's the range on pistol? Actions, pistol. Two-sixes? Two-sixes, nice. 30-90.

Another two-sixes. Crazy-craises. So one, two, or five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55-60. Okay, so that's been 90 feet. And because I'm a GIF, I'm not disadvantaged to the further range, because I'm just a crack shop.

So you can see what I'm talking about here. I am going to take two shots at this tentacle right here. I think I'm just chipping away. Ooh, well, we know that's AC is low, so that's a 12 to hit, is my lowest. 12 hits? Okay, so we'll just do two shots here. 10 plus 12 is 22 points of damage. Dead.

22? 32? Trying two points of damage with those shots. Get out of here. You start rolling my dice. I'm the tentacle. Okay.

He should have figured how it explodes. Yeah. You, well, how do you want to do this? Ooh. I'll explain it in a minute. How do you want to do this

to the tentacle? Oh, yeah. I will basically say that I see the tentacle coming and it's wrapping around tank and basically like I shoot it and it's like it like kind of gets knocked off and then like I shoot it again and it hits and it blasts the tentacle off of the ship. The tentacle comes for Hank. It picks up your unstoppable pug and but it has it and it's charged and it squeezes just a bit and

and it's like your first shot flies out true. The tentacle hits releases Hank. Hank lands on the deck. You take aim with your second, your second shot cracks out, pukes straight through the tentacle. It lazily falls back from the ship. The octopus is now detached from the ship. Chuckles is restrained. Chuckles is restrained in its mouth. I'm an enlarged blob if I could make an attempt

to pseudopod him out of the mouth. I would try to wrap around his waist because I'm enlarged, it would normally be 10 feet, but I don't know, I'm feeling a little pseudipotty. Yeah. I don't know if that's allowed. I don't know if that's allowed. I can support too with my huge snake body.

You create a snake ladder of sorts. Snek sends you out. All right of the octopus begins to just float away in the space. You. Oh. You, you, you too, you extend you from your form just like 15 feet of like, ascends out, juggles if you decide to allow it, um, you can grab you.

I don't really have a choice. Grab me, caboose, save me. Snapper. The laugh and I release it. Undone by his own, he was floating out into the astral sea. Chuckles, telling jokes still, just unfazed, being enlarged, being chomped at up.

Caboosh grabbing him, the snack grabbing caboose. Just by the hair, a tail at the very end. And as you begin to pull Chuckles back in, Sid rushes to the helm and punches his gauntlet onto its center and says, Perfect! You free up the cannon! And as his gauntlet pulses through the eye of the Cyclops, energy beams shoot up through the deck of the ship.

The cannon whirls to life and spiral crackling lightnings. energy bursts out of it in a pillar of flame and just explodes the octopus. That's right. Like sky the Arcadia. Where was this captain this whole goddamn time? He was getting the can in the cannon operational. Nobody knows. He's watching me.

She'd be real gone. Good one. Good show. Good show. And Quai returns to the land. as they say. Well, I'm going to be like this for 10 minutes. How long am I going to be so huge?

Oh, I can drop that. Great work, everyone. Great work. Really clean them up. Some of that stuff you guys did was pretty fucking crazy. I have to clean. I have to clean so much. You're lucky.

You had us on board. We should earn us a bonus of some kind. Yeah, well. If we find what we're looking for, you won't even need a bonus. You can live out, your generations will live out, taking care of. Well, you'll get a bonus, though. That was pretty great. All right, well.

It would also be nice to make it there. Having shrunk back to my normal size, I will stop sizzling, popping, steaming, and reform myself into a vague approximation of a humanoid. This time, whatever feature that I had previously, I forgot. So I just look like whatever human I happen to pick at that moment. But I am 75% as tall as I was previously. As you all are celebrating and, you know, Chuggles is getting reared back into the ship. The captain leaps to the mast.

his goggles flip back down, the extenders swing out. He looks out into the depths of space. And without a word, he jumps back immediately to the helm and begins to spin the ship and says, everybody now to the Starboard side. Is it right or left, I forget? That's right, let's go. Oh, God.

I go over to the starboard side. I'll run over. Are we, is the map still relevant? I'm slithering over. Kind of. Oh, okay. Let me turn on the map camera back on. Oh, hold on.

Okay, that's a good question. Sure. What happened to the pirate ship above us? Um, is it still there? Yeah. Yeah. Just for my own. Yeah, I forgot about it, to be honest with you.

So, yeah, it's up there. They, you know, I don't know. They left. We've murdered it. No, it floated away. Yeah. It floated away. Yeah.

It floated away in the narrative. So presuming does everyone move to the starboard side? Oh, quickly. Yeah. Well, I'm there. Using the rope. I'm going to tie around. I'm going to tie my rope is just my fucking anchor-chip. I'm going to tie around. Hey, someone pull me along. Somebody. There you go. Ah, no one doesn't. I think of it. Everyone thinks he's fine. Would anyone like a balloon at the fair? Here.

Oh, Hank goes over. Oh, thank you, Hank. Oh, of course. You really are unstoppable. Okay. The captain leaps off of the railing. He jumps to the helm. He shoots in the air, the buckle of his belt fires out

and latches right to the base of the central mast. It pulls him straight into it. It's at this moment you can see what's gotten him so anxious. The commotion of the combat, the blast from the cannon, has drawn the astral dreadnought back to you. And it is rapidly approaching. And we can see it like... Oh, it's coming straight at you. Yeah, you can see it.

Yeah, it looks just like an unsublished. stopable force, just a death comet coming straight towards you. It's eye blinking. It's still probably, I mean, 1,500 yards out. I mean, it's far. If that's far, I don't know. It's, it's far miles away. It's like four miles away. But it's coming fast. The, on the central mast a panel opens up with be able to see what looks like the imprint of a hand that would fit his gauntlet. Good luck out there. Take care of chunk. And he'll place his gauntlet into the center of the mast. I didn't ever want to roll a Dex saving throw. No, Sid! Captain Thid, don't do it. Oh, what are you doing?

Ooh. 18. Can I twist? Sure. Nine. Is it for Hank? Hank, for you? Hank's probably five.

This is for me. That's the nine for chuckled. Eleven for, uh, Rett and 20 for, or 18 or 20 for, 16 or 14? 14?

18. 9. Okay. I would just say this. Don't know. Don't tell me. If you're under 15, if you're over 15, that's the DC, right? Okay. A pulse explodes from the, from the mass, the central mast of the ship. Sid rocks back, but his belt secures him to the deck. Everyone is blasted off the ship. If you're under 15, you cracked through the railing, and you take four points of bludgeoning deal. If you're over, you're definitely able to jump in the air, leap,

aggely move around the railing as you see. I'd like to think that I hit the railing, but I just like, and then like reform and I blob out. Exactly, 100%. As you move past the railing, you're all knocked into space, and the force of the blast keeps you moving off the starboard bow. How many things we take? Sorry. Four.

Four. Got that. You're now flying off into space. You are pulling away from the ship. You can clearly now see the astral dreadnought approaching it. Sid, you can see just specks of movement now. It's getting harder and harder as the distance increases as he runs towards the helm of the ship. You see the energy kind of war back on.

but crackles and sparks as it tries to feed towards the power engines. He tries what he can to push it up, to blast off and take away, to lead it away from you. When the realization sets in, as you're flying back through space, you see a light shoot from the rear of the ship as Sid realizes he won't be able to outrun the Dreadnought. He goes an arcing beam of energy splashes across its face. You can see from where you are it doesn't seem to do much damage but it scars under the eye of the Dreadnought as the blast bounces off its side. Its eye opens up and almost like a searchlight falls onto the ship.

And as this happens, as the gaze finally meets its prey, the ship falls dead in the water. Any energy that it had prior, even attempting to get away, completely leaves it. The dreadnought opens its mouth. And what can only be described as a black hole is in its maw. As it finally catches up to the Cyclops, the ship begins to disintegrate from the back as it consumes all the way to the front of the ship. Just before this happens, you see a beam of light shoot up from the ship, and it's flying towards you as you sail back away from it into deep space. And that's where we'll eat dinner. Hey, holy shit.

Is Chonk with us? Or Chunk? The beam of light that's come up from the ship that's approaching you as Chunk. Oh, okay. And we're just floating in space. I'm a huge... Am I still gigantic or just huge, no?

You're just, you're huge. I'm just a huge snake drifting through space. Can we get it for base? Yeah. Oh, great. Oh, great. Got to give it up. Thanks, everybody.

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