Legends of Avantris - On a Silver Strand | Spelljammer One-Shot: Part 2 | Do Space Clowns Dream of Balloon Sheep?

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

It's part 2 of CLOWNS IN SPAAAAAAACE! Chuckles the Space Clown and his companions of space-faring adventurers took a simple job on a salvage ship, but get in way over their heads and uncover a new threat that could threaten the Astral Sea itself!   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/EBE3-OphJeY?si=Ywy7dvHzubmZhLGC

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Legends of Aventriff. Last we saw our heroes, you were aboard the Cyclops, a salvaged ship heading towards recently intake and wreckage that was promising to be a very bountiful haul when you were beset upon by pirates, presumably looking for the lead that you had, to where that wreckage would be.

I don't know if I hinted at that or anything. I probably didn't, but that's what happened. Understood. And the resulting carnage in battle, blood, people getting flung out into deep space, drew the attention of an astral dreadnought, very far out of the only place they've ever been known to even be hinted at being,

very unusual to encounter one actually in the normal. almost of the Astral Sea. But it sieged your ship. Your captain, Sid, was able to blast you off the ship in the final moments before he and the Cyclops were consumed. And you are now floating through space. This is how we die.

Mama Hey, and I'm gonna try to like, Are we hurtling towards something? Right now, you feel as though you are just like spinning off into space. Do I feel like I could pseudopod my friends and allies and try to get everyone gooped into the same like a little asteroid field of our own making? Yes. No! Stop! Stee close to me.

we will be stronger together. Oh, I have an idea. We can be our own balloon. And a big white glove is going to appear as my mage hand, and it's going to grab the end of my rope and just pull us in whatever direction I think we're, it's going to start pulling us through space. Meanwhile, my snake tail is just like flopping in the void of space,

wherever we are. Which way should we go? So you all, you do this. You shoot out your, away from the monster. Sepulpod, goo, form, and you gather everyone together. Juggles, you form a giant comical, white-gloved mage hand that grabs the end of a rope and begins to direct you. When the light that erupted from the ship before,

moments before it was consumed, chunk appears to you. Soaring through the air, a super cute brown and white basset hound of sorts with a barrel around his neck. If that's the right, this is a basset hound, right?

That's the same baron. Same bernard. Damn, a barrel. No, no, that's a Caperna. He's a big dog. He's a bigger dog. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. See, Bernard's like four times.

Yeah, yeah. I know, it's just a certain. At least, for me, I said that back to a 18 times. A seat Bernard that begins to sniff in the air and then looks at the party and looks kind of in a direction and begins to kind of like fly off. And you can see at the base of his paws are little like little jets. And he's like, Oh, what's like,

what's Mega Man? Yeah, Mega Man's dog. Yeah, Mega Man's dog. Yeah, yeah. Rush. It's not imagining chunk from our neighborhood. Wait. Junk!

Jump! Come back! And I'm gonna try to like, I guess you're pulling us. Pulls that way. Oh. Is that chunk? Yes.

Yes. Get closer to the fire. I can't. I'm faithing the, I'm a literal balloon. I take it my God. I got a few more minutes. I try to like shoot the opposite.

direction to try to like... Okay, no, now I know where you're pointing. Okay, come back, glove. Oh, wait, how is this glove full of bees? Let me switch that one. Oh, that one's a filipinas. Okay, hold on, hold on. Another glove will be...

Okay, this is... Full of what? Yes. I think we heard the same thing. That's my other glove. Do you think that Chunk would be capable of propelling all of us if everybody started riding me in my snake form? And, like, I grabbed onto Chunk,

and we just kind of... Is it possible or wearing your plasma form? What are the space rules here? Yeah. If there's atmosphere, there's surely something that she can start propelling around. I think with all of your powers combined, you forming everyone together, you, mage hand pulling, if you, as a giant constrictor, snake, Stelix starts, like, rotoring the back of your tail, you would very easily be able to, even, uh, red, you feel like, you feel like, you feel

like your gunshots, as you shoot off into the net of space is helping to propel you along. Every bit, every bit helps. Would you say an Eldridge Blast has some sort of recoil? Absolutely, sure. Yeah, an Eldridge Blass. Out in space, everything, for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. And as you fire off your blasts, your tail, your beige hand glove, you propel in the direction that Chunk is heading.

He's not trying to escape you or fly away from you. He's actually trying to direct you. You get the sense towards something that he's identified. Earth, water, fire, air, heart. But isn't, he's literally Earth. That's sort of his whole thing. His whole thing is a say, he's a say endo me. Earth, sir.

Sake. She can be hard. Oh yeah, she's got a little plant. for a horse. I feel like that's quite breathing hole. So you're sailing through the astral seat, Chung direction, before very long, you start to make out a dark figure

in the ahead of you. It's very large. As you approach it, its shape reveals itself to and you see that you are face to face with another ship of sorts but this one looks you guys

we're on a time we're on a time it's another ash from dread and they're eight of them? You're all over that place you're face to face with another ship this is very different from the Cyclops however

and the pirate ship. And the pirate ship. Very, very different. For starters, it is probably about 20 times as big. As the galleon? As the galleon. You are approaching a massive

hulking Nautiloid. It has a giant spiked shell at one end and stretching extremely far out from it. is a elongated exterior deck,

like a massive aircraft carrier runway. Spikes shoot off from either end. And tentacles emanate from below it, as well as around and up the back of the shell. But as you approach, you get the sense very easily, very simply that the tentacles don't seem to be react too much to you showing up or you coming close. They seem to be almost like defunct. Uh, chunk would land on the, like a central section of the exterior deck. And you would be able to land as well?

It looks like we should aim for that deck. If it is good for chunk, it must be good enough for us. What do I know? What do I know about Nautaloids and my players? and stuff like that. Would I have heard of nautaloids? You would heard of nautaloids. Not is in the sense of a little more real than like, you know, it's not quite national dreadnought. It's a very real ship that you've come across.

But you would be, you would not expect to land on this nautiloid and find like a welcoming embrace. You would know that a nautiloid would mean very commonly piloted by, uh, the illithin, and that, uh, that would be a threat. Tjohn, what are you doing? No, no, no, no. Wrong way. Wrong way. No, I think that, uh, if it is good enough for Chunk, it's good enough for us. We have no choice. Where are we going to land? I mean, if he can fire us anywhere, uh, have you never heard of a Nautiloid?

Anywhere? We are in space. I mean, anywhere in space is better than this place. You know what they say? Uh, what's good for the, uh, what's good for the, uh, what's good for the robotic bathed hound is good for the hippopotamus snake space clown living ooze monkey and robotic pug the classic saying rat

it's too and by the looks of this thing they might have a seafood buffet on board I think it's more of a Saint Bernard by the looks of

Oh, I've been calling it a bathroom this whole time. You've been making an asset of yourself. Oh, I guess I did fail biology in clown college. Is it look kind of like out of commission or like defunct? As you, as you land, presuming you still trajectory. I mean, I'm like, detached everybody. Yeah. When you move towards the center of the deck, as you come kind of within its range,

its grasp, almost like extremely lazily, you feel a tentacle come up to, you know, kind of like float towards you, but extremely slowly and extremely lazy. Does he not tired? Yeah. So there's a tentacle coming out the front of the ship? There's tentacles kind of all emanating from underneath it. Oh, shit. Are we still in plasmoin shape? Can we still be? We're attached to a little. Yeah, and when we hit the deck. Oh, okay, so it's like a clue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. It's got, it's doing this on the bottom, uh, underneath the, uh, roll investigation check. Or roll A. Yeah, sure, roll on investigation check. What are you investigating? Whether it's like a living thing.

Oh. Oh, not bad. 12, 11, 13. 13, uh, with the 13, you can take a look at this, and you very much get the sense that as you approach, it's reacting to you. It feels like, it doesn't feel mechanical. It feels almost like the octopus that besieged the cyclops that you were just on. It does feel like the ship, if it could, has a beating heart. I want to transform back into D4N1. So hopefully nobody's riding me anymore. I've got to follow. It's fine. It's fine.

crush. You'll hear off. Yeah, you get scooped up in that. As I stringed back down your size. Oh, it could feel good to be me again.

I do want to know what I can sense since I'm really great with animals. Like, is there anything I can sense with this animal by touching it that would help us information-wise? What animal? The monster, the dreadnought.

The not-loid. The not-o-loid. You should want an investigation. check, but you would know pretty easily that it's not, like, it is from Kavir's investigation, it is effectively an organic

vessel. Okay. It's not an animal or a beast of any kind. It's a vessel. It is a ship. It's like the usual bomb. Yeah, it's an organic ship. I would, let me see.

Can I, I want to cast beast bond? at this noveloid to establish a telepathic link. It has to, it might be charmed by me if it's intelligent. You attempt to establish a psychic link with something? Yeah.

Maybe wisdom's streaming through. Oh, God. Lord, wisdom. You gain the benefits of the hero speeds. Not that. 20. You take half of 50 damage. With a 20, nothing bad happens.

Damage wise. What does happen, however, is immediately the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. Oh, yeah. Your sense are like a film in. Your water, well, wheel, wheel, wheel, your circuitry buzzes. For N-B-1D, for N.

Danger, chuckles, danger. Danger. The well! You immediately get the sense that you are being watched. And you do not form a psychic link with anything. We are being watched. Oh. Well, I presume if this is a spaceship or ship,

that they probably got windows or something in there. Also, I just had an idea. If Kavir used his... wing flaps and chunk uses propulsion would we be flying a chunky monkey that was my idea I know you are a space clown but now is not the time for jokes there's always a time for jokes like the the big giant shell but why did the mermaid uh why did the mermaid wear sea shells she grew out of the bee shells So the

Seems that's coming You got me again Have we managed at the surface Yeah Oh yeah yeah I would say you've landed As long as that's

Okay just check Yeah you've definitely To make these investigation checks I would have assumed That you would have landed On the Nautiloi So now he's just doing Standup Comedy

Yeah So What's the deal with Nottloids The crews Realize we're in danger Enough Just with Chuggles That I could bother

We're being Watch As you attempt to do that, chunk will begin barking, and a loud, powerful, yet cute bark. And he'll kind of shake, he'll shake his collar, and the barrel at the end of his collar will shake and slosh. Dandy, Rhett, can either of you understand this dog? What is it, boy? What do you need?

Try to tell us something? Shaking that barrel, it's probably totally unrelated. What are you trying to tell? Oh, the well! I cast beastbond to chunk the correct animal to do it with, to ask the question. You attempt to form another psychic quink? Yes. Making another wisdom saving, though.

What the hecker's? With the robotic job. Wow, heckinjured. It's a long time. 22. You are paranoid. that someone is watching you. Someone is definitely watching us.

Oh. Or anyone. As in perhaps a door that opens can be entered from both ways. If we look around, do we see anything watching us? Like, do we see anything odd on this vessel? Uh, roll an investigation check. Oh, my God. At advantage, because you feel as though you're, uh, you're looking for something specific.

Investigation. Advantage that's gonna be a 23. Oh my god. 23 with a 23, you look around, you scan the deck of this ship. And it is smooth. It's made of an almost black metal, but it doesn't quite feel like metal, but you don't really know any other way to describe it. It's not metal like what you're made of, but it's not rock.

It's not any other material that you can kind of bring to mind. And as you look out towards the end of the deck, it's completely clear, except for you would see normal defensive mountings that a Nautaloid may have in very similar energy pylons that the Cyclops had, where alliance are cut into the ship that run to six different, would almost look like large black cannons, three on either side of the deck. But all of the energy lines that run to them are defunct. And as you look back towards the main section of the ship, you'd easily be able to see that as you walk up, there's what feels like a very open entryway. nothing catches your eye on the deck of the ship you you are laser focused in and you see nothing except for chunk shaking the barrel that sloshes with liquid i he's trying to draw your attention to i i'm a paranoid android right now but there's an entryway open let's let's go to what chunk is directing us towards what is it boy and i take it maybe this is making you uncomfortable i take the collar off

Do I like get any sense of what it is when I take it off? She's tossing. Yeah, just whip it out in the space. I don't do that. I don't do that. I take a look at it. You take a look at the, okay, you would know, you would know immediately. You take a look at the barrel at the end of his collar and you immediately get a smell that smells fruity.

It smells like, it smells. like more. It smells quite a bit like an extremely, it smells like a hell potion. What that smells like? Oh. Oh. Hint of cinnamon. Smells like kind of plural. Would I be able to do something stealthily to deceive Red, dungeon master? You can try. One thing I'm going to add, because now I'm thinking about how Mikey said, don't pull your punches and just tell people what stuff is. You get the sense that it's not, it's a similar smell, it's not a health potion.

You get the sense that if you were to imbibe in this, you would enjoy the benefits of a long rest. Oh, you know, smelling this, it smells like cherries and berries. Wait, is it cherry, berries, soft a drink? I mean, maybe. Oh, yum, that's my favorite.

I mean, you want to smell it? See if that's what it is? Yeah, sure. I'll grab it and I'll crack it open and suddenly a bunch of red monkeys will erupt out of them. It's just a tag. Oh, no, monkey! Oh, I'm kidding. And immediately all this disappears that I'm holding it. Oh, you really hate when you do that. I mean, I...

Yeah, no, this is... I feel like we'd be pretty wreathful. Well, yeah, the sense that I'm getting is, if we drink a little bit of that, it'll feel like we went to sleep for eight hours. Oh, my. Should we all take a dick of hooch? Well, hold on, before we do that,

let's probably metagame it. I'm gonna... I'll add, here you go. Back now. I propose that we killed. chuckled. I'm him. Kabo, stop being such a good dude.

I never claimed to be anything else. I'll drink. Oh, you want some? I am robot. I'll drink it. You are a robot, I suppose. I took a sip and it kind of falls out of my neck hole. You take a sip and

As you enjoy the cosmic cherries berries, it washes over you and you enjoy the benefits of a long rest. Oh. Oh. Everybody drink this. Hold on before I drink it. I gotta do some of my, okay, here. I'm gonna take all some of these ingredients.

I have no idea what any of this does. Ooh, fizzy. Oh, some cherries berries on myself. And I'm gonna make six, uh, experiment. Elexer's. Wow. Uh-oh. Yeah, what's that, dude?

I don't know. Don't even tell me. That's fine. When you drink the experimental elixir, you turn inside out? I shouldn't have given it to you a liquid form. I'll take the... How's that I don't know? Man, it's been so long as I've had Cherry's Berry's soft drink.

Anyone who drinks from it may enjoy the benefits of a long rest. Thank you, dungeon master. Before we do that, I'll kneel down to Hank. I'll say, all right, Hank. This is one of my new inventions that I think will do us fine. And if you get hit, I'll take a little bit of the brunt. But it's sort of this like energy connector thing. It's kind of smart just a little bit.

And so they're going to be two sort of like almost like like, like like Wi-Fi dooms and like offices. And I'm certainly going to install it on this online. like the side of Hank's like neck or something. And then I'll kind of, and maybe like my arm, I'll sort of inject it into my arm. And yet there's like sort of this faint energy connection. And I'm going to cast Warding Bond.

Whoa. And that lasts an hour. All right. As far's. Good. And all there. Would it also apply to Hank as well? I would say so.

Yep. Lap it up. Oh, just two. more concoctions, sure we, if we have time. How do I get that up? Here's a little bit of a little bit of honey, a little bit of mustard. Mustard!

Mustard! Let's not be silly. Lemon on the other hand. There's a yellow mustard container floating there. No, great bomb. Well, would everyone like two? my experimental elictern? What did they do? Oh, I don't know.

You know? I've been at this for a lot. I've been your surgeon for seven days, but you should know. I have no idea what I'm doing. Not to require a few. It'll all be beneficial. I will take some of the barrel stuff. Okay.

Here we go. Two for each of you. And we don't know what they do when it doesn't tell we drink it. You're going to roll a D-6. You're going to roll a D-6 when you drink it. Okay, got it. Burst into flames as a lot of you have. I made, I made, uh, eight.

Okay. And so I'm not taking any for myself because. That seems suspicious. Oh no, I have my own very special broo. This is my medicine. Oh. Kill joy. It's not thrill.

Oh, thrill joy. Thrill joy. You can very clearly see that kills, like written on, ominously and it's scratched out. And in like, in comic sands, thrill is written. and like bright rainbow fall. Oh, it's a thrill! To kill...

I mean, thrill my joy. As you're working on your... Whatever you're doing. Chunk starts to walk towards the entryway of the Nautiloid. I'm following Chunk. We're being watched. I mean, here's the thing. And I'll fall behind a chunk.

I mean, the crew may be here, but I feel like it's this... ship was crew, that they would have shot us down long before we got here. So there may be some remnant left, or maybe it's just the ship that's moving around, but if you say that it's an organic creature and it's got a beaten heart, and that means we can kill it. Perhaps the ship is derelict. If we were to clean it, fix it up, we would be able to pilot it wherever we want.

I don't know what I'm turning into it left. I always turn into a lefty guy. Oh, something cryptic about who? My outrageous French accent. Let's go back. It is. Can I have the bear? What's left?

Instead, I have drinking it. Can I just cork it and let it float around in my body? Sure. I'm going to hold onto it. I don't feel like I needed it this time. Very cool. Okay. and I'll follow dandy.

Similar noise to when chuckle walks, apparently. Oh, nice moves. Everybody do the semi-organic robot. We sound like police in Europe. This whole time he's just been mimicking you. You reach the entryway. You walk the exterior deck, you elevate on what feels like a, almost like a mild hill. You get to a very large opening in the ship, and as you step inside, it is a massive cylinder in front of you.

What you have are spiral staircase that strips around the edge of you. of the wall taking you upwards, and the spilot staircase that goes down the edge of the wall in the opposite direction, taking you downwards. And if you were to look up, you can see the ship. You can go quite far up. There seem to be at least, well, if you look in both directions, four to five off-rams, different floors you could take or go to.

Do we see where? where the lay lines or power lines, meaning whether they go down and up? You would see, immediately they seem to just follow in both directions on the stairs. You would know, and anyone who's traveled on a Spell Jammer's ship, would know that for the most part, these laylines run in all directions all around to power different sections of the ship. the lights in here, flickering, the power, kind of like pulsing a little bit, running through,

like, very faintly through these lines. Not quite, but you'll notice when the Cyclops had this very electric blue power output. The power that's feeding through the lines here is like a vibrant purple. I think we go up. What do you think, chom or chunk? What's that? Are you going up? Oh, is that what he said? That's what he's saying. He's saying we should go up. And here's my reason for that. I mean, going down, who knows what dwells down there.

I think we go up, see if there's any crew left on the bridge. And, you know, probably a little easier to get out of Dodge if we go that way first. That's my guess. That's my guess. That doesn't make so sense. I'll say, um, I trust Chunk. Chunk, lead the way. All right, Chunk, and I sort of like,

commotion him up the ground. Up the way he clearly doesn't want to go. Oh, that way, that's right. Well, did he indicate one way or the other? Uh, not necessarily, no. Just seem to stand at the precipice, but he'll begin to walk upwards at your behest. Uh, yeah, so we'll start heading up.

Okay. Oh, if you and fifth, we'll go up. Uh-huh. Walkie at like a 45 degree. Yeah, you're like walking up the steps like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just check it. Uh, so you start, you all ascend the staircase up into the right chunk at the lead.

Um, as you begin to hit kind of the first, uh, like, terrace, Chunk starts to growl a little bit. What is it, chunk? You look ahead and what you see are what looked to be two very large doors, seemingly like very solid, heavy solid doors, and they have been bashed inwards. the hinges snapped at the top and clear, like, ripped open and entryway before you. If you peek in, you would see that it seems to be a library. I'd peek in and see a library.

What do you see there? It appears to be a library. Oh, it's a library? Library. A library. Very big wanted to get into this library. Do you see that when you peaked in? I peaked in and I saw a library. Wow. Why not think to peek in?

Then I want to see in the library. It looks like books. It looks like what I peaked and I saw books in a library. Books. Oh, all right. What do you think I said? I don't worry about it. Let's check it out. Is there any sign of what came through here?

I look and I see if there's any sign of what came through here. Roll investigation, Gary. Sniff around, Hank. Why don't you help him out? Yeah, we roll it in. Thank the Lord. Oh, double two. Hank!

Hank is... Hank walks up, attempts to help Kibush, but goes... And then backflips and kind of lands in Kabush's, like, knee a little bit, so it's stuck. I get a four. Oh, you tried, but... I'm not a library expert. I clean the floors.

I think he was talking to a Hank. I'm not a library expert. I clean the floors. With a four. Libraries have floors. You know, speaking of libraries and floors, I've always wondered

why libraries are always the tallest buildings in the world. And then I realized it's because they have so many stories. This is not the bridge. Is Chuck barking in that room, library? Barking at...

He's barking kind of at the... You would get the sense that barking at the fact that something has very clearly like bashed in his door. Like nothing like opened it and casually walked through it. Something ominous has cracked

these doors, crashed them straight open. All right, let me take a look. Well, honestly, even to resolve Derrick's, even with a four, when you look in, I mean, you have to be blind to miss the scene.

I don't have eyeballs. Oh, well, I just got this guy. Yeah, right? What am I looking out of? I'm 98% of. You're in it sense. How do I get?

You convinced me you see nothing else. You look into the library and you see overturned chairs, shattered tables, and probably four to five corpses that seem to be cut down. Blood strewn in all directions.

Dead bodies in there. Do you want to meet? It's cool. Check it out. Well, I think we all go check it out. Oh, yeah. I will come. Bodies? What kind of bodies? I'm going to stick by a chunk, though. I'll sit by Hay.

I didn't see what kind of bodies. I am 98% asshole. I'll have Hank lead me into the library. I'll sloop through the gap of the doors. So the doors are crashed wide open. I'll sloop through the wide open. You sloop through, you actually find the crack between the door and like the hinge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You just find the door just to be able to do it. Yeah, yeah, I look like when you put your hose, your thumb over the mouth of a hose, and it just like sweep through. Yeah, yeah. You're going in first. Right? Before you go in, I just want to take my cold robot hands and cast. guidance on you.

Nice. Thank you, kindly. Let's take a look here. I'm gonna pull my goggles down over my eyes. And it'll look like, you know, your classic like sci-fi, or like Vigita with the Power Finder. So it'll all these like on-screen

or on-goggle display will sort of appear. And I'm looking to see if I can find anything. Regina? Uh, yeah, with the Japanese vegetable. Oh, you know, I, then it's a little dark in here. But, oh. As I throw lards, I'll pretend to trip and drop a bunch of juggling balls

and they'll bounce and then they'll glow and they'll dance in the ears. I cast dancing lights. And it's like, and they're actually juggling in a pattern as if they're being juggled by some unknown force. You do so, you do this. You trip, you fall. Juggling balls go everywhere.

Oh no. And then they begin to ascend into the air. They glow and illuminate the space. Red, are you, is this something? Are you... Well, they're just eyes of minute seeing, eyes of minute seeing. So if I need to make an investigation check, I think I would do that advantage. Please do so.

That's pretty good. That'll do. That'll do. If you ask me, that'll be a 27. With a 27, your scout sensor comes down. Circles begin to illuminate to draw your attention to a relevant items in the room. You see the bodies cut cleanly with a single strike, almost like absolute just with surgical

precision, but with a very, very, would have to be massive blade. I mean, it's smashed through bone. The blood splatter sprays so far across the floor, you know, the force behind it was from something gigantic. The bodies are of Ilethen. So four to five of them cut through at tables looking as though they were attempting to flee. The sensor shows you the bodies are cold. This has happened some time ago, not recently. Nothing. It's a rather large library. There are books to be seen all throughout. There is a one that stands out to you that was sitting at a table that has a series of books laid out in front of them.

About six or so. They all seem to be open and focused on. They're old dude Squidfellers. No, nice job reading between the line. I guess you don't need to worry about the crew. Well, I mean, that's the thing. is that if some killed the crew some time ago, but what if it's still on the ship? Well, how long ago were they killed?

I don't know. They're pretty cold. I'm not a surgeon. Thank goodness there are so many duff jackets here. They can warm up. Wow. That was a nightmare. That was really fucking good. I'm really impressive now. Let me try to think about what else I learned. Oh, so anyway, I mean, these suckers can suck your brain out your skull,

just from a whole size of an electric piece, and the fact that they were cut down so easily, here's a serious threat that came through, or maybe still on board. They might be able to suck your brains out, but... I guess you'd have to have a brain. Exactly right. mechanical advantage of being 99% asshole? Or did you say 98%? I can't remember.

I can't remember. It's starting to feel like 99. Well, that was a great detective work, Red. I feel like you may have been a detective in your past life. I knew you could do it if you just believed in your shells. Can we tell if maybe they were doing something when they got attacked? Well, I mean, there are these books that they were clearly reading. Let's take a look and see what the theme of these here books are.

Oh. I think the DM was trying to suggest me to check that out, so that's what I'll do. Okay, just be careful that don't overdo it. Okay, you walk up to the table where one... D-U-E. Where one of the illifid was cut down. And spread in front of you, you see a series of books. A treatise on spell engine energy management and distribution by Avalon.

Magical Science by Alfredo Wisbang. A comprehensive history of metal, version 14, organic metals edition, by various authors. Spell jamming 103, traversing the astral. with local gravitational matrix into the unknown wild space by anonymous and excising

and harnessing anima by Zoldrick Rend and then there, there, there, and back again a hobbit's guide to grammar what the fuck in the Hobbit? I don't know.

Like a pet name of a hobgoblin? Oh, probably. Have you ever had a hobgoblin oyster? Gosh! You'll think you died and went to clown heaven. I mean, what does this all mean? They were just researching stuff about space and ships. A lot of this seems related to the Nautiloid.

The biometals, gravitational matrices. Maybe they were trying to understand whatever this is. How to use it? I mean, it's possible, certainly. I think so. Oh, maybe it wasn't the squid fellas that took the books out. Maybe it's the guy with the giant sword. What did it?

Trying to take over the ship. Maybe we shouldn't try and take over the ship. Oh. What do you think, Chuck? Do we see you the other side of the library? You can explore the library if you take a, some additional moments walk throughout it, maybe even look to see if the threat is still present very easily with it. It will keep your 27 investigation roll.

There doesn't seem to be anything else in here. Whatever cause this, carnage has since moved on. Well, let's keep going. Let's keep our wigs about us. Whatever is it, this may not be here, but like you said, it's going. could be somewhere else on the ship. Do you hear anything? Like, is there any, or any sense that we should go in some direction?

There's lighted arrows. Oh, the waypoint on our map. Oh, look at many, but they'll be here. There's a big red arrow in the front of your head. It's pointing back out and up the stairs. Roll a perception check. Well, 21. With a 21, you listen out, not with your ear, but with your robot senses.

And you pick up right on the edge of your mechanics, skittering, scratching, something in the walls, something above you, something below you. It's hard to tell. I'm having this sensation or vibration or. or pixels in me or out there. It might be rats. Oh, rats. What if there are rats in the wall? I could be hearing rats in the wall.

We would be able to eat. Can I, like, go up to the wall and, like, listen and, like, see if I'm, like, getting rat senses? Uh, sure. Okay. Yeah. You walk up to the wall. I'd do the 21. You place your hand on it with your kind of natural druidic magics.

You would, it's too big to be rats. And it is hard to place where it's coming from. But you do not think it's in the room. But you do think that, not big in the sense of like what crash of the door, but big in the sense of like, it's not too dissimilar, but it's clearly far too big to be rats.

Well, I guess there's nothing on the ship. What's that? You know, we'd be kind of a funny joke, if I just took this book that was talking about draining animal out of mortal soul. I mean, it would be a funny joke. And my big

goofy mage hand, I'm going to pick it up. Oh, yes, thank you. Oh, goodness. Oh, what a silly. That's a joke. It's ironic. I haven't been terribly interested in the books, nor have I been saying very much, but when everyone turns around,

there are very clearly a few ill-ethid tentacles floating where my stomach would normally... You're kidding? All of this happens. You do so. You pick up excising and harnessing anima by Zoldrick Rend. You may even recognize that as a hobgoblin name. Oh, I wonder if you have the good oyster Zoldrick fellow.

Okay, you then leave the library. You get a chance. If we get any downtime, we'll try to kind of flip through it, but I'm not going to just keep it in my hat. Okay. Um. Was the library at like the topmost level? No. It was like the first stop.

Yeah. First terrace. There, yeah. It's like in a wow raid where there's the spiral staircase and basically like a boss in each wing. So we were just going up and killing the boss and killing the boss. Yeah. So do we want to still head up or do we want to go down? Junk.

Clearly, there's no horrible beasts in the walls. Well, no, absolutely not. That'd be preposterous. What do you think wrath are going to survive in a place like this? Space rats are everywhere. Let's continue up there. I agree. Okay.

Good thinking. Continue. You continue to walk upwards. You step outside of the library and you ascend the staircase once again. And you come to, uh, and you come to, uh, the penultimate landing. You can see at this point as you look up that it seems as though there's one more rotation upwards and a final stop. On the landing you're in, you would see this on in generally both spaces, but when you achieve a landing, there's a circular, like, walkway you can

go about because the central space is all open. You can, like, you can jump out and fly up, you can jump out and fall down. But you could walk to the other. side and you can you can trend to go in either direction what you'll see here as you reach the this second terrace is as you look kind of towards the the the side that was back towards the exterior deck you glance over in that direction you see a room that looks out into the astral sea. And you seem to find panels looking glasses. There seems to be a little bit more energy heading towards that room.

Lines still flickering and faint. The light's still cutting in and out, on and off. But it holds a little truer towards that room. Behind you, or really when you, when you feel, first ascend right where that is. You look in and you get the sense that this is kind of like a bridge, maybe where someone would steer the ship. The use of the lights are more powerful towards that first of it.

I think we hit to that. I'll just point to that way where their lights are. Maybe we find more. Oh, more dead squid guys. More something, anything. A sign of what happened or if we even have a chance of doing anything with this shit. Oh, I have a theory.

What? I think they... You know the rules. I think they died of disease. You said they were ill, a thin, didn't you? I told you not to ask. They don't call them healthy, you fin. I agree.

Let's follow the life. Sounds good. You all walk around this loop for a moment. You achieve what seems to be an observation deck. There is a degree of paneling and just kind of like almost what feels like a larger opening of glass than you would even imagine this room could fit that really begins to magnify out into space. And you can see quite far.

Do I get an immediate sense of, so this is not the person. This is an observation room? It's kind of like both, right. This is an observation room, but at this level, they kind of like both are here. The bridge was on the other side right as you come up. So if you're, if this is the exterior deck and you're walking up, the bridge is kind of like towards the back of the shell. Got it.

And if you loop around and walk forward, the observation deck looks out the front. Some kind of observation dick. Do I get any kind of sense of what this would have been used for, why this would be separate from the bridge? And like, why it would all just be like, why the bridge wouldn't look forward, I guess? Roll a, like a... Maybe a space vehicles check. Roll a space vehicles check. Yeah.

Whatever that equates to it. I double my proficiency in that. Is that a real check? Well, it's a tool check, yeah. Yeah, okay. Roll that, yeah. Okay, it is, I got a 19 plus five plus six. What are that is?

30. Yeah, straight 30. With a 30, you are a hardened ship mechanic. You work on your own ship. You have studied ships for a long time, you and your comrade. You've done a lot of research, even historically, and you would know that the Nautiloid, the ship of the Illithid, was developed a very long time ago and operates a little bit closer to a classic version of a Spelljammer, where these are creatures of psionic power.

And when they tap into the ship, they gain the sense of everything. They gain the sense of their surroundings. They gave the sense of everything in the ship, everything that's around it. So the deck doesn't need to view outward because they don't look in that manner. When the pilot would sit down at the seat, their senses become that of the an autoloid. And they would separate this and split out to this because someone else, like someone who would plot a course or maybe search for something in deeper space would come here

to connect and actually would find a way to look very deeply into aspects of space before they made a trip. Well, this was used by presumably navigators. or some kind of course plotters. Does anyone have a sense of, maybe I do, have a sense of where the wreckage was if they even want to try to still get that bounty? You know, the captain was really honest

about how much it was worth. You might be able to, you know, plug our brains into this somehow. Plug our brains into it? What, do you mean that's how you use this ship? Well, my sense is that, that this ship and other early spell jamming ships, it was a psionic connection somehow. You know, I thought maybe that was reserved for illithet or, you know, other kinds of inherently

psionic beings, but that rat peered into my brain. So why can't we figure out how to, you know, do the same with this thing? You want to remove your brain and try to stick down the feet? No, that's not what I mean. I mean, it's sort of like the supernaturally. you know, outside of physical reality sort of connection. Is there anything in the room? You said there's paneling. Is there any tables, anything on the tables? Like, is there anything immediately noticeable outside of just like a panel?

The paneling and a chair in the center of the room. No tables. But a chair that has kind of like the back of it comes up and kind of crests over. Well, what you're saying is actually how this works. That looks like where we might need to sit someone. I'm not saying me. I can't be the only one proficient in vehicles, parentheses, space. Can I?

I mean, for being someone who doesn't have their own ship, you sure know a lot about them. Look, I do have my own ship. I just, oh, that's why you are on. You were on the cyclops? Well, it's in the shop. It's going to take like a month. Oh.

Pretty bad. Did you drop it off with your girlfriend who's in a different, on a different galaxy, but it's totally real? No. It's a friend. He's in. Oh, yes. Bikes doing his own thing because our, you know, my ship is wrecked.

So he took his little. Anyway, it's all besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that, you know, I could give a shot. I think I have many much faith in you. You go ahead. All right. Here we go. Wait, I think this is the wreck.

Oh, you think this is the wreck? Yeah. This is the wreckage. Maybe that's what Trump brought us here? Well, that's what Trump was probably programmed to find the wreckage. Even though he's like, I'm very afraid of the horrible thing, but I guess I'll go here anyways. Oh. What do you think he was looking for?

I mean, probably worth a lot. Oh, like the whole ship? Yes. I mean, very clearly, someone was trying to read through the books, not, I mean, trying to suck someone to hell in their anima, but also how to fix this thing in the library. Probably trying to find a way to get to the ship somewhere that they could use it or sell it or something, which we'll need to do the same.

All right. Someone's gonna figure out how to fly this thing. It's gonna be me. So I know. I definitely can find bio that's all I'm gonna pay. I'm gonna sit down in the chair and hope that my brain doesn't get, you know, sucked out or, you know, sucked out or... Fragal rack. It's gonna be a flight on the navigator.

I'm very excited. Oh my God, it's the dog from Fraggle Rock. Oh! You sit down the chair? I do. Roll a wisdom statement. Not intelligence? Oh no, yeah, okay.

Everyone's intelligent. Oh, okay. I don't know how science works. No, I don't know. I mean, whatever works. You tell him. 23. You sit in the chair and it's comfortable.

Very easy, holds your form, almost seems to conform to you. Um, a sensation washes over you. And you begin to tingle. The first thing that happens is... The first thing that happens is... You can in innate presence of the ship. You can feel almost like your compatriots standing on the deck. You feel as though you can feel them as if they were standing on your shoulder.

You sense... You get almost immediate knowledge of, you've explored upwards. You get almost immediate knowledge of what every level would hold and what stands on the ship. The first level down, a cargo deck and a hanger for smaller ships. currently you almost feel that the ships are in disrepair

feels dismantled almost like a poor taste in your mouth there's one ship in the cargo deck that feels almost as though you're drawn to it on the opposite side of that You get at that same level, but on the opposite end, this will actually run the length of the exterior deck underneath it. You get almost like a refreshing, like a warm breeze across your face.

You know that this is a menagerie. Almost like a zoo collection. You can feel pods. You can feel things in these pods, but you know that several of them are shattered. several large pods were shattered. I got a space zoo on this ship. Oh, that's very exciting. It's the first thing you've said since you sat down.

You spit out about the zoo? What does it matter? My eye, hold back on the back of my head. He's a mentette. And beneath that, beneath the menagerie, a much smaller room, Humble, similar pods set up, but more like eight, ten pods down there. It's hard to place.

Just beneath. Above you, one flora you recognize as the command deck. Operating in almost reverse parallel of any other spelljammer ship, the heart of power that emanates from the nautiloid exists at the highest level and you can feel something strongly

coming from there and you feel hungry that's the sense you get as you tie into the ship. Then you're projected into deep space. Oh my God. Almost as if you are

leaving your body you're connected to the ship, you can feel it, you can feel everything that moves within it, you can feel the skittering like movement across your arm. But now you're sailing, you're far away, you're flying through air, you feel free. And with a 20-something, you make it so deep into the Astral Sea that when your projection stops moving, you're faced with almost pure black night in front of you. Does that seem strange to me?

It does. It seems strange. As long as you've traveled the Astral Sea, you've never seen anything so impermeable. You feel as though if you were captaining your own ship, you don't know that if you were to drive straight into whatever this is. you would be able to move through it almost as if you've hit the edge of space. And as you begin to study it, before you can even form an opinion around what this looks like, you try and peer into it, not even your, not even in an astral form can your sight pierce its visage.

But as you try, you get the sensation that something stares back at you. Like as I look into this wall, like blackness wall. What the hell? Do I feel like I can move the camera around, or is this sort of all just happening? You can look around. You were effectively astral projecting into one of the deepest aspects of space. You can look around, beneath you, above you, to the side. You can move the camera.

I'm going to try to push through. if I can and like try to see if you said it feels like I couldn't go through. I want to try and see like if I feel like I'm getting stopped as I project my mind. Oh no. Into into the space beyond the stars or whatever. Whatever the fuck I am. We're gonna have a Rhinox-Bthor situation on our hand. I don't think that RELTH is okay.

He said something about the zoo. Then he said, what the hell? And now he's just drooling on himself. She's convulsing. Seriously, from our perspective, this would be super fucked now. This is some event horizon, actually. That's exactly what I thought we got to the shit.

You do this. You float forward. You press your hands to the darkness. And you don't feel any resistance. but it feels very clear when you've moved into it. Almost like the sensation of you opening a present, opening the top of a box peering in and then falling into a deep dark abyss. You know that you are surrounded.

things are around you, but you can't focus on them. You can't see them. Did I feel like I cross some sort of veil? Oh, yeah. What do we see? Does he start, like, drooling black acre and seizing up? I'm very concerned, so I'm going to be right behind him, ready to, like, sloop between him and the chair and try to, like, condom him out over there if I can.

And I'm going to be ready with the two elixir that I made for Red to dish. shove one of them down his throat and see what happened. Both at the same time. As you cross the threshold, you get a sense of where you are and you hate it. You have crossed

into wild space. And as you do so, you all, in the observation deck, will see dark, black, tears fall from his eyes. Oh, I was kidding about Vyakur. Here, drink this shit. As you start to pour, I am going to attempt to get in between the chair and

Antoamire to create a barrier using my own disgusting juice body. Your disgusting juice body sloops over the chair, like Gack or slime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As it pours down, and then you, like, elongate your body, and you push him out onto the floor. And you would hit the ground. I'm gonna try to help him up. Roll a D-6. Oh, my gosh.

All right. I was like, what do you give to me? Five. You may help him up. You get a nosebleed. You start to feel lighter. As you feel your back start to shift. and two large balloon wings sprout

and you gain flight for 10 minutes. What a hell? That's a bumping about me. Flight of 10 feet. All of a sudden floating. It was not corrupted by the space beyond space? You did this. Oh, that was me.

I mean, can you tell of the balloon? You did the things, but what happened to you? Look at your eyes. Look at what happened to your face. Remember the place that the captain was talking about, Wild space Where he went Where the vasts

Dreadnoughts live Oh yeah He was the only ship To come back from Well that's From a fleet That's where my mind was I used to sit in that chair

You can Go anywhere it seems I don't know why I was brought there I pulled there But I never want to Even think about it ever again What about before? Did you feel

Anything? Did you feel like you can move this ship. I did, I did. I mean, I don't know if I can pilot it yet, but what I know is that the core energy of the ship is on the top floor and out the bottom like I'm used to. There's some real powerful up there. And I know that I mentioned the zoo.

Was I actually conscious verbalizing that time? It's very strange, yes. There's a space zoo on the ship, but there's pods that are broken. So maybe these, I don't know, Maybe these are escaped beasts that killed? Do you think they have green alligatives? What do you mean?

And the long-necked geese? Space geese and space alligiers? Oh, yes, yes. And Humptybacked space camels and perhaps the space chimpanzee. I didn't really get that far, frankly. Dandy and I want to go to the zoo. I think we need to go to the zoo. Before we wouldn't mind going to the zoo.

We can go to the zoo, but. Oh, and there's another thing. ship below us and it's sort of like a what do they call that? Like the side of the death star like a star destroyer where they

land the other, you know, smaller ships in. Support? The hangar? Exactly right. A hanger. There's a hanger for smaller ships. He rolled a 30 on a space vehicle and you're going over to hangar? He's a little rattled. I've been wilds,

but he's. Black Acres streaming from his eyes. He's got balloon wings sprouted from his back, and his Gack companion is just throwing him onto the floor. He's a little disoriented. I always called the Spacey Hole anyway. There's a ship in there that I felt drawn to, and I don't know why. So I don't know if we go up to the top of the ship,

it's from right here. I guess I could fly up there and fly all the way down and back and forth. How long was this last? Well, 10 minutes, and you can only go 10. Oh! As you know. having this discussion behind you at the entryway, a massive creature has just stepped into the doorway. A huge spiked turtle shell on its back. Two gigantic bladed arms,

like sites where hands would be. A long, probiscous beak. that comes from it. And it stares at each and every one of you. Sigh is covered in blood, if I didn't say them. You've changed chunk. That's not chunk. It scans the room looking at each and every one of you. Before it falls to the ground dead.

What? They have happened. Hell. What was that? Well, not a green space alligator, that's for sure. This is a sign of what's to come in the zoo. I do not think we're going to have a good time. Was that an animal dandy?

Was that in the zoo? Why would it die? Can I, like, I want to go up to it and, like, maybe touch it and see if I can feel any life and say, like, turtle creature. What? And, like, touch it and see if I can. Roll a animal handling, check.

22. 22. The 22 is plain as day to you. You know animals. You know where they are along their you know where they are in their health.

This creature is dead. This is this creature. You feel for a heartbeat and it does not be. It is dead. That's not the only thing you get. The creature is...

I am trying to... The best animal handler. Plus one on the broken count. Call me a druid, am I? You're such an animal expert, you're gonna be a shell-eprity. Oh, no. That's outrageous. Stop playing becaboo with it and tell us what happened.

What happened? Becaboo? Yeah. The overdue joke was outstanding. I didn't congratulate you about that one earlier, but what else? You look at this massive turtle beast creature, and you get the sense from the state of its arms that, and from how hulking it is, that it is very likely it's the creature that crashed into the library and killed the illithid that were in there. in there. Presumably it then made its way upwards. As you inspect it, you can see smaller but deep lacerations all around its body. It's also noticeably, though the cuts

are incredibly deep, and they range anywhere from the torso up, the neck, head all over it. It's not bleeding. It's producing no liquids of any kind. What kind of creature is that, dandy? That is a dead. Turtle spiker. A turtle spiker? Do I know?

I try to determine in all of my past existence as I tap into the Legion to discern what this thing is. Roll a... You're tapping into the Legion? I'm tapping into my past live... That's a feature, right? My feature, yeah.

Oh, what does that do? You roll a D6 or something? What is it? Racial traits. Wait. Oh, knowledge from a past life. I can roll a D6 immediately after seeing it if I want to. I want to just add a D6 no matter what.

To whatever I roll. Got? So, like, are you... Roll a... Roll a history check. Oh, I should pay the attention. What did I learn in clown college? Ooh.

Oh, no. Should we twist it? Yeah, we got it. Yeah, let's twist it. Let's twist it. We got them. Oh, no. We got more twist it. I'm using one more twist.

One more twist. Thank you, Jack. Oh, that's fine. That's acceptable quality. That's of acceptable quality. Hit 313. 13. Home, Clown.

You close your eyes and think back. Unfortunately, you did not play attention in Clown College, nor did your ancestor jumbo. But your ancestor, Jumbo. Your ancestor. Puddles. Cladius.

Oh, Cladius. Gosh, he was Cleadius. The Wides. Gladius paid a dungeon. And... Oh, God. I start speaking in abyssal, which I know. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, no. attention in clowns. You're just a line of clowns and also in game. But Lee is paid attention in clown college. You recognize pulling on past experiences that this is a hook horror, a large monstrosity. That thing rooting around the library is the hook horror. You know what that means, don't you? What? This fellow was really hooked on phonics. I spent that resource for a single joke.

He's my villainous plan. I don't know. I don't know. Are you feeling all right? We all still want a murder chuckle. Yeah. I'm supposed to murder chuck. No, no, it's not an animal.

It's not in a zoo of like, oh, this cute little cuddly bunnies. They got horrible monsters down there. They don't get, they don't make animals. Crackers of Ho-Gora, that's for sure. And these monsters, they are stuck inside the ship with us? I think they're trapped with us. Exactly my point. Yes, we will wipe them aside with a brush of our gooey heads.

It's starting to feel like we are trapped with them. To be fair. That's exactly right. I mean... Why would you bring up my clammy poem? Do you know I'm very thankful about? But you can see my gloves are like sweating. They're not that clammy.

You don't think that these animals could be the fuel for the ship. Could it? Did you get any sense as to why the ship is so slow? My understanding was that all spell jammer ships have an energy source of some kind. The source of this one's upstairs. The menagerie is downstairs, so I don't think it's connected. But I do think it just came from up there, presumably. I think we go up there and see what kind of havoc and get reaped up there.

Let's go. Yes. Before we go, I just, I'm not going to make a joke. I bet we can learn something. I'll take off my bowler hat. I'll reach it. No jokes. I'm going to pull out a squeaky hammer.

Okay, Dr. Chuckled it in. And I'm going to try to smash its skull open to examine it. brain to see if it has similar the black stuff. Uki stuff, uqu and duker. Ucunduker. Your middle name is Gallagher now.

I would say you don't have, it is very easy to hit this creature. It's huge. It's on the ground. It's not attempting to dodge. It's dead. It's definitely dead. It's definitely dead.

It's squeaks. The hammer squeeze. With the might of a thousand clowns crush its skull. And it goes, Crick-wit. Roll damage. Oh.

I'm not that strong. Hold on one second. Oh, yeah, no. What's your damage dice for this? This is 1D8 plus 2. I'm reflavoring a great club. Okay. And the squeaky hammer.

Oh, I rolled damage. With my D8. Oh, there it is. Seven. I was going to say, If you roll an eight, you would have obliterated its skull and destroyed any evidence. But with a seven, with a surgeon's precision, I smash its skull open. Just to the flash zone as possible.

And next to the tentacles, you can see floating brain now. I would say, so Chuckles, you take position over this hook for, maybe even like sitting on its turtle shell back. You raise up the hammer and as you do so, Kabush, you, form kind of like a splash guard at the other end of the head. So as the hammer crashes down, in all of the skull and any viscera shoots forward, just all shoots into you and you slurp it all up to your enjoyment. Like a caboosh poncho.

Oh, God. Roll medicine check of the advantage. Oh, okay. of dandy as well as... With this, I'm going to pull out a magnifying glass and my eye is literally going to go through it. Like a big, like horrible, bulbous thing. Okay, let's take a look.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. A six and a nine. You know what? I'm going to use my player inspiration. Oh, you blew it to victory. What did you get? Investigation.

What did you get? Oh, 17. I'd like you to use a twist of dread. Oh. You can't take that back. That's my favorite move, by the way. Blowing it to victory or what? No, I mean.

Look at the coin, too. I'm the receiver name. Investigation. Nine. With a nine. It's because your eyes disgustingly in Gordon. The, you notice two things. Your eye swooping through the magnifying glass getting right up in this brain.

But you weren't paying attention that day in medicine class, and it's hard to tell what's going on. Or even first aid or phys ed, whatever they teach at clown college. I'm going to push them aside with my robot arm and see if I can figure out if it looks like what I saw in the rat brain. I should have majored in pre-man. The two of you can see a similar, larger, dark blackness in the brain. And, you know, it's one of the thing that seems a little odd. For a creature of this size with that cranium, the brain seems kind of small. I'll tap my squeaky hammer is covered in brain.

I think I've determined the cause of death. A brain hammerage. Oh, anyway, there's the same goo. Also, the brain is smaller. They were probably shrinking the brain and corrupting and eating it or something. Or maybe they were like, you know, like leaching off of it. Like off of the brain matter. It's how psionics work, right?

It's all right. Why would they do this? I would have know my magic is fiendish and orange. I mean, arcane in origin. What? Oh, Arcane. Oh, yeah, Arcane. I studied books and shit.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, we're good. We're good. Is this what happens in the animalized drink? Is this something the illet did or something else do you think? Well, uh, do I, uh, do I, do I,

know that mind flares and like elephants will suck out brains and stuff. You said it earlier, didn't you? Yeah, I assume that it was like part of the boogieman lore of mind flares is that they're called mind flares because they play your mind and like but I would say what you would have heard or believed of mind flares is you would have expected them to like like rip out the brain rip out the brain and consume it whole. Yeah, I mean this is weird right like because usually they just suck the brain out as as I don't know. That's what the story say, but I mean,

shrinking them, maybe they're just sort of bred that way. Maybe like they sort of selectively braid the stupid one, so they stay in their pods and it just didn't work. Let's go see the energy source. Yes? I mean, we could.

Yeah, I mean, we were going to go that way anyway before he started his old bit. We'll do it. I think that was actually some valuable information that we gained. It was very great. And we learned that it suffered from a brain hammerage. What are you doing? You can kill two birds with one pie.

Let's go hang. We go upstairs. Well, I'll never. Oh, my thing you fly. Oh, yeah, I'm flying. I'm just flying. It's like a really slow flight, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you guys just look way ahead of me. No, it's like a little tiny, like, hippo way. Isn't there a winged hippo in like Fantasia? It's an escort mission where you're going really slowly up the stairs and we have to run really fast and then run really fast and then wave. Don't we have a rope? Sorry. That's how it happens.

You ascend, you all ascend the staircase and this spiral takes you up once more to the final level at the top. And you see similar, double doors to what you saw in the library, but these are even larger, even more ornate. They're closed. The door is closed? The door is closed? Do you see any light or anything coming through, like the underneath the door? Oh, you would see the flickering. I'm sorry. Yeah, you would see the power conduit up the stairs

heading under the door into this room. And this one almost holds steady, being the portion of where the power, as Rhett has described to you, emanates from. Though it seems to like flicker as it leaves. Are we sure that thing came from up here? Because this door is closed. The library was punched open, kicked open. Yeah. I don't think it got through here.

that's for sure. Oh, the hookhole. Whatever it was. Remember that turtle, vulture side thing was? No, I tapped into a clown nature documentary. It was actually more vulture-like and beetle-like,

at least from what I remember from tapping into the hive mind of clowns of generations' path. As they're talking... and I'm digesting. I'm going to walk up. I'm going to goosh up, actually. And I'm going to just examine the door and see if there is a gap between the bottom of the door, or a keyhole or something that I might be able to sploosh through. No keyhole, but there is a gap under the door. Does it look like that? I might be able to sploosh through.

You know, splooshable. He can caboose through the door. He can caboosh the sploosh through the door. You can caboosh this motion. The old caboosh bluish. I could make my way on the other side if we can't find a way to open the door on our own. Should we try to open it first? Yes. Well, I don't know why I almost said C. Me gusto, if I'm in Spain.

In Spain. In Spain. See if we can open it without my having to splush the caboose. I mean, I think it's a good idea. Can you like stick a... You don't only have eyeballs, but can you stick some of your... Your matter, you know, your part of a penis and absorb a lot and take a look? I've never done that before.

What's a good idea? The parts of me that are sight go into my feet and I attempt to look under the door and sort of look around disgustingly. Can I just add? Do you still... Oh, here, hold on. Let me just take one of these light balls in here. Give me one of your appendages.

Okay, it's glowing. A light ball? Yeah, one of my... Just shove it in there. Just won't fit under the door. And I'll just leave it behind. Give it a go. I'm going to lose all my food.

What's more important being able to see with light? You still need light to see, don't you? Dude, does it look like it could fit this thing underneath the door? Sure. Well, it looks like it might fit under the door, so. But I attempt to, with the light bulb, look under and out and see what's inside this final room. Have a light bulb that's been implanted in your hand.

You begin to sloop elements towards the bottom, towards your feedy appendages. You shrink in height maybe like two, three inches. You kind of like drop down as some of your form. and animates under the door. You sloop forward and, like, creeping up under it, a little, like, grasp-y tendrils, and at the end of each, I don't know,

whatever would function like eyes for you, peeks out, and you scan the room. Did they one ever watch the show, Alex Matt? Yeah. Light casts out into the room. You see a large, basically sealed room without any windows in brackish water. There's almost like the metal continues in as if it's a shore and then kind of like fades into what is clearly a line of, you would think to be brackish water. Like in the center of this room space, there's like a pool of water.

Almost like the back 60% of the room is covered in a layer of water. Oh, like a wall of like... It doesn't raise up. It is like kind of like a pool as it moves back. Okay, so it's graviting down. I can't see from this distance how deep it is, but it's brackish in the sense that it's like opaque and dark and gross. and, okay. And otherwise the room is featureless.

Correct. Can you talk out your aneth to us when you see Caboosh? There is a pool. And there appears to be. Sorry. Okay, can you let us in from the inside? As you shooleap under the door and your form begins to touch it and you rise. You rise up and you're talking through your asshole.

You actually, as you begin to just impact the door, you realize that they're almost kind of like saloon doors. They just swing. They're not secured. The door appears to be. Why do you need the proper? I'll complete my sloop and I will go to the other side and I'll see if I can push the bat wings out towards my friends. Your butt will open as you do that.

You're almost what looks like a small starfish slits under the door along with him. This whole form disappears under the door in front of you. I've never loved a character more than that. I'll draw my ray gun. Okay. There's a moment. The door's just open.

There's a moment. They were in locked. It was open easily. Where Caboosh, you place your hand on the door and put just the most minute amount of pressure. And you just do that. Do you? I learned it from watching you.

I learned it from watching you. Oh, I was like, oh, sorry, guys. Oh, God, I need it. It's just oil these shoes. And you are able to, not easily, they're heavy. They're heavy doors, but with the right amount of pressure, and you are, even though you're like kind of a shloopy, like, anus talking,

you know, movable liquid form. You are a beam of power. You're able to, like, move these out should you choose. No door stands locked in the wake of caboose. And it is waky. Lead the way, my splooshy ain't its talking, friend. This way, right through these doors.

I have been able to open them. No, nothing can withstand the wake of caboosh. I have a clown gun, and I'm not afraid to use it. It's just me. Look, and this is it. pool. Can you see how brackish it is? Do we see the generator or what the layline

leaks or the power line needs to? Roll an investigation check. I'll use the big one. Whoa. The big failure. Twist it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got twist it. Let's twist it. Let's twist it.

Let's twist it. Twist it. Okay, a little better. Investigation, you said? Ten. Ten. With a 10, it is very clear that the power conduit line runs into and under the water. You have found the power source. And it's under the water. A pool of dirty water?

It sounds like your best dreams, the hippo man. I mean, I'm no stranger to swimming, but just because I'm a hippo person doesn't mean I'm a hippo. Big difference. However, I wouldn't say no to checking it out. Wait, I know that I am not the one with the brains. I'm just the janitor. However, does that look like the same smudgy business in the brains, do you think? Oh, what do you mean?

The water, it reminds me of the rat. I mean, this is more, is it like, blackish water or I wouldn't say it baltie? Is it like Ocean City water? Yeah. That is it good

confuse. We got to get out of here right away. Very fandy. We're very fandy. Have you been to the Potomac? Oh. It is not like... Oh my God!

Yes, have you been to the Anacostia? Yeah. You, look at this water. It doesn't look like, you know, it's not like a black acre water. But it does seem to be a pool of water that has, it's not clear. You can't see through it. It's opaque, swirly, almost like, grayish, like dirty streaks.

Does it look like, garbage water? Oh, cool. Yes, it does look like ocean city. I'd like to die at first. The most shallow part, please. Can I tell by looking at it that it does have any like similarity

and smell or appearance to anything related to the brain fluids we've looked at? Would you walk up and touch it? Yeah, I would. Okay. I'll be right behind her just Okay. Roll investigation check. 12. You walk up and you touch the edge of the water to try and get a sense for whether or not this is something that is familiar, you know, and it definitely feels similar. As you get up as you get up to it and you touch it, you know, you rub your your hands together.

You feel a very familiar sensation. It does kind of look like, feel like, almost like brain juices. And as you touch it, you feel a very similar to sensation to when you landed on the ship

and you felt as though something was watching you. You feel that presence now. And as you break the surface of the water, the water begins to tremble. I flick a balloon turtle to dandy, and it starts to circle around. I like that. Get the flip back from the water. I think that maybe this vessel runs on.

brains? I'm going to pull from, oh, if I get pulled from my bag, like a, basically like a flare attachment to my guns, screw it on, and then shoot it into the water

to like, if I have time to do anything before it happens. I don't know like if something's about to emerge or if it's just so you just describe what happens while I attempt to go do this. So with the watch in the water from Moria. Fuck! Everyone drinked your mysterious elixir!

In all of a very similar moment, I think we've entered... Is this the thing? Oh, wow, it sounds exactly like the thing, but it's not. I don't make sure it's not. Oh, God. No, no, no, this is all...

John Carpenter, we're so sorry. Oh, no. sounds kosher, just that is almost identical to the baseline of the thing. I'm sorry to interrupt the momentum. You should be. I feel terrible about it. Eric, big moment. I drink the elixers. Rule of D6. As you begin to prep all this, you respond. Dandy breaks the water line. The water begins to tremble. You reach for a silencer? A flare. A flare. You reach for a flare to shoot in the water. You do a bunch of weird is. You, what are you doing? I crush one of the experimental elixirs that's floating around in my body

and allow the nourishment to flood me, so to speak. A giant bubble forms on your back and you gain 10 feet of flying. Oh, this is a strange sensation. Oh, I'm still hovering too, right? It's definitely not been an hour. If you know, that was for a time. Oh, 10 minutes? Oh, 10 minutes? Um, it's probably been saying it's like, no, just from you get from from inspecting the hook order. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess we came right here. Yeah, it's probably like, you know, I don't know, few minutes. Yeah, five, six, seven minutes, eight minutes. Five, yeah, nine minutes.

Just bold, this is the bold miselix. This is just wine. I feel bold. The water trembles and shakes and from one end of it deeper into the pool, you see a large dark spot as something begins to arise out from within it. And then the water line breaks once again, and you see a, who can only be described as a huge brain rising up from the water. emanate from under it

streaks across the lobes of black Icar and it also seems to be plugged in for lack of a better term to the ship it becomes very clear to you that this

is what's powering the Nautoid so it's like connected not by some natural thing but like by a the plug that we've been following? Like, is there a cable that runs up into it? There are multiple what look like, almost like, pylons plugged into it, as well as its own form of tentacles.

I love it. Coming out of it, and it pulses with energy. And you hear, you hear once again, very familiar sensation. You'll remember it. Words that reach you not through your ears, but almost like memories bubbling to the surface. How did you come to be on my ship? Chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk.

You're led here. What were you doing, infiltrating our minds even when we were on our ship? Did you call us here? Did you want to bring us here? was not me and reached out to you. What happened here? Why is there no one left on the ship besides creatures, monsters? We're a special kind of ship.

We have a very simple task. Sail the sea and collect knowledge. Many races know many things, but they can't bring it together or work or build. So we consume their knowledge and keep it in a grand library to preserve it. Oh, that got destroyed. sorry. Yes, I think that your project is at its end. There is almost nothing

less. The ship is lifeless. An animal brain library? No, I think it's the knowledge of the... Are you asking out of character or in character? I'm asking it in character. Is the

menagerie, the pods you have with the different animals, are there brains of knowledge? Or are you talking about books. Brains are the knowledge. We consume races not to feed, but to learn. Oh.

The menagerie errates the ship. We grow. Trees keep animals. But the latest knowledge we collected. We discover. discovered something untested. We discovered a way to spread power to my charges. And what elder wouldn't want that for their people?

But I didn't know what it would do to them, how it would change them. This ship is not lifeless, as you say. It is full of life. It is full of my abominations. And they are hungry. And the door snapped closed behind you. And bubbling once again in the water,

one more creature breaks the surface. A large... Illithid, but this one almost like bone gray, ash gray. Its form shifted and shaped. Its head where normally tentacles would come from its mouth have split open, and now just a massive, toothy maw exists in the center of its face. Its bones have formed and shifted, and it has one left

arm, almost curved in a solid tentacle format, sharpened and bladed almost like the hook whore, its other arm, free reeling tentacle. And I never wanna roll for initiatives. Yeah, let's go. Spooky shit. So is it, is it like a corrupted mindflare or a corrupted...

Hocor? Is it a corrupted? You would... No, probably from looking at this, knowing of the Nautiloid, having a sense of where you are. The creature that is in the center of the pool in front of you is a elder brain that seems to be suffering a corruption, and what has arisen from the water in front of it

seems to be a... The captain. a corrupted mindful that is like super beefed chunked oh it's like those trolls

like the like the berser trolls oh yeah he's really chunk oh let me see look at that that guy's like yo oh my goodness what a chunk this podcast is brought to you by our Patreon become a patron today at patreon

dot com slash legends of avatrous and gain access to tons of exclusive perks including a monthly movie night and a weekly patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas shroud over salt marsh you can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement the crooked moon a folk horror tome for dungeons and dragon fifth edition and don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice miniatures plushies a tarot deck and more thank you Okay, 20 to 25. 20? You had a 24?

Oh, I had a 24, yeah. 24, holy jeez. Oh, I had a venty. So, chuckles on top. I think it's okay, because I'm going to have eight of them. Jayneux of a great, but I just do it, and it's 2D4 for each one. Just do this, and then multiply times, too. So, Java, monster.

15 to 20. 19. 19? What did you roll for initiative, Dandy? Oh. Oh, 17. 17 17? 17.

Fuck. Those cards are so tough. They go through it once. What did you roll commission? 19. Then you're going to lose Kevin. Yeah, you're a god. Oh, they said rich.

Oh, rich and red. Yeah, I remember that shit. It was kind of like a chute. Oh, good old chunk. Okay. Chunk's hit it. Oh my God, he hit it to win it. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Um, no, he's not. So the water begins seething and roiling and bubbling, uh, as the, uh, these monsters arrive, arise from, uh, under its, uh, under its pristine levels. Uh, and chuckles. This is to you. Oh. So you already have a balloon turtle. I haven't given any balloon to, oh, I know.

Red's favorite animal. Obviously, it's a horse. I mean, horses are fired. I got straight A's in Latin. Oh, that's pretty good. Thank you. Oh, no, that's a monkeyman. Okay, let's do this.

Oh, hello, it's nice to meet you. Have you seen my beautiful flower on my suit? I spent... Oh, acid everywhere! Oh my goodness! As a line of acid sprays, both of them will need to make a dexterity-saving throw. I'm casting Tasha's caustic brew at a third level.

That's fucking, wow, that's true. Jesus. Did they have to move? To dodge it, presumably? Well, it's a dexterity saving throw. The elder brain will fail. I couldn't need all those before that. So we're going to be taken.

We're going to be used. the same D-4s, yeah. It appears as though either it cannot or it just will not move. Okay. But aside from like rising up and down, doesn't seem to try.

It's 35. All this stuff. Okay, what was the, and the deck save, I'm sorry? Was the DC-16. 22 for the for the hulked out, the roided-out-mind player. Okay. The brain is not.

Correct. So the brain is absolutely coated in this caustic ass, and you hear, like Halloween, like a card or like a haunted house. Yeah, yeah. And it's sizzling. And it's boiling an acid for a minute. And at the beginning of each of his turns, it'll take 6D4 ashes damage. Holy shit.

Wow. So 6 to 24 damage every fucking round. For a minute? Does it take damage now? No, it doesn't actually. So it will take at the beginning of its turn. Yeah. It needs to either break my concentration or it needs to take the time to try to get acid off of itself.

I don't know. It just dunk itself in water. I don't know. You need to use an action to like, I don't know if it doesn't have hands. I don't know. I'll defer to the DM. It's like spelling a McDonald's hot coffee in your lap. And if the mind fliers survive.

He dodged it. Nothing happens. Okay. So that, and I'll say, we're gonna turn this ship into a no brainer. Oh, my ass is on my head! I peel off my gloves like a horrible demonic clown.

And oh, oh, she doesn't start to go through the hole. Yeah. We better hurry up! That's my turn. Okay, yeah. Supposed to the bar inspiration. The flavor was great. Oh, yay.

Awesome. Kavir. I am. I am, is the, so everything is in the water, or at least the brains above the water? The brains above the water, the mineflare would be kind of towards the water line, and it's very clear that as it stands kind of closer to the edge, maybe even 10 feet in, the water is to like its calves.

Okay. I don't know how this is going to work, so you'll tell me, but I'm going to cast a witch bolt. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, and the mindflare. Mindflare. Thank you.

And it doesn't seem to be. Oh, okay. There it is. So there's no like, I just, I just rolled a hit it, it looks like. Okay. Okay. Yes, you do. And once you hit, you can like use your action to do the damage again.

Gotcha. 14. We could twist it. Twist it if it doesn't. Yeah. We're twisted it. We're twisted it. We have no idea what the AC is.

We don't, but let's let's make sure it's like. I think he's higher. I think the easy is higher than 14. For the big guy, the very least. For the hook, the, all right. We twisted? We're twisted. Oh, that's four.

That's worse. Oh. Can I give him mine? Twisting. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I use my inspiration. Nice. Yeah.

13. It's fate. It's fate. It's fate. 14 was the highest. 14 was the highest. 13. What does your witch bolt look like?

It is... This one will be, because I got this throughout the... The tone where I got to learn spells outside of, like, earth. So it is very much just like lightning from my hands. Actually, not for lights. If I can change a little bit. Please. I have the rod of shortening.

Or extended rod of shortening, right? So that was so... Collapsing. And I kind of spit it. spit it in the air and then point it straight down and it extends and then that's what like. Oh yeah. You spin in your hands, you twirl this rod,

it forms a wheel, arcing lightning catches at the end. It looks like a blazing wheel of lightning. And then you bring it, you fire out and this arcing beam crashes directly onto the mind flare. It puts up its tentacled arm, the lightning, and it brushes it off. And you get the sense that it missed. It's Yoda and attack of the clones.

Yeah, yeah. What? How do you do that? I'm no action. I'm a soldier. Oh my God. I need everyone to make a wisdom saving thrill. That's where I'm a Viking.

Oh, I get to add, because I drank wine, I had a D4 to everything. It's pretty good. Yeah, well, everyone can drink their elitre. And who knows what you'll get? Is that wisdom saving? 14 about it. Wisdom saving throw.

11. 11. You and me both. We'll suffer this pain together. 12. Winning at poker, I think. 12? 11.

Wow, okay. We all fail. Everyone fails. We all fail. All the fun, nice. Good. Great. You feel as something reaches out and touches your mind.

As you look around the room, you start to get flashing images, your vision flickers. As everyone, every one of you, your comrades start to shift and change places. Suddenly, Chuckles is in the water. or Rhett is now in the position of the mineflare. Everyone on their next attack assumes that the person closest to them is the mind flare and will use their action to strike the person closest to them with whatever their attack action is. Oh, this is bad. Oh, no.

This is very bad, yeah. Stop. Stop. So I'm still floating in the air. I think you're on caboosh. I had the flare thing, oh, my gun, so I'm just gonna be like, oh, these hot fucking layer, he's fine with me too! I'm gonna get the trigger and cast fairy fire right here,

and I think it's gonna hit everyone. Oh, no. Oh no. Let's take a look. That's very fire. Does it do damage? Does it do damage? It doesn't do damage.

Oh, okay. But everyone needs to make a deck saving throw. Remember, both of you have Bartak Inspiration still. Oh, this is where we die. We need to try to pass this. I could just drop concentration, but it's funny this way. No, no, you don't. Dex?

Oh, thank God I'm perfect. Dex DC-16. Oh. Dex saving though. 14. I fail. Part of this add a D-6, right? Yeah.

I would have failed, but because I drank wine. I'm feeling bold. I get, I got a one and I feed him. And it would hit him too. Oh, God. I wish there was wine in face. It's just the dogs that are affected by it. Oh, good.

So who passed or fail? I passed. I passed. Very barely. Okay. Let's see. He had fired. If you use your bar to get racial, let me know.

I passed. Didn't use it. Okay, so for those that failed, it did old Hulk guy pass. Oh, I'm sorry. DC 16? 16 decks. Passes. Okay. So everyone that failed, you are glowing

in this sort of ethereal astral light and attacks against you are advantage. That's just me all the time. While I maintain concentration. They mean our attacks against each other are now, man. This is really... And then I will use my bonus action to say, get him, Hank, get them! And I'm going to command Hank to run

up underneath Caboosh and like just leap in the air and try to grab him. But he can't reach him so he just he fails. I would say Hank would at your behest take position under Caboosh and maybe yeah

and backflip and then hang there waiting for your X command. To actually spend my bonus action I'll pop the elixir. Oh, second elixir. Roll a defect for me. I need all the help I can get too. You get however swift you would, whatever it would happen, your walking speed increases by 10 for one hour. That's not wet.

It doesn't help me with me. You're going to win this, though. That's what you're. You get roverscapes, grafted out of your feet. Oh, what in the next? Oh, nice footwear. Dandy, it's to you. So we're still against each other. against each other.

You will attack for one round. You will attack whatever you believe you would have done, player discretion. If your target was the mindflayer, you would do that to the closest person to you. Well, we're both, I mean, the- Who is this? This is you. That's me, but the mind-flayer is also very close to you.

I'm gonna try and do the mind-flare. Are they equidistant? Yeah. Maybe flip a coin? That's a good decision. My player's bigger. Fibbukon. That's true.

If you have a, I mean it's mind fucker, right? Right. Oh, that is. Oh, D-Ciflor. So one is, yeah. What are the science? Mindflare.

Okay. And chuckles. Chuckles. One is chuckles. One is my own fuck. Oh, I'm going to die. Please. Oh.

What did it land on? Reflep. Reflep. If it doesn't count. Oh. Oh. Do we want to know what it was? Yes, I thought.

No, we don't want to know. Yeah! Oh, goodness! Oh! Don't be hungry like the wolf! Oh, no! Good song, good song. Yeah, Roos.

I'm going to-Durand-Duram. I'm casting conjure animals, and I'm going to conjure eight giant space hamsters. Yeah! They have patch tactics. Oh my God. The creator of Avanchus approved. And so did the DM.

The creator of Vantris thought it was pretty cool. The tweet ad? These are the... Responding? Responding. Wow, that's so cool. Wow, that's so cool. So you, what does summoning animals look like for you?

Oh, yeah. What does this magic look like? So this magic... Naname machine, sir. It's gonna come out of my sprout, the sprout that's in the cavity of my chest. It's gonna come out, like, the animals are gonna kind of like come out small

as if they're like little babies from a gumball machine or something, and then they get bigger as they actually like project on. Like little action savior, like little robot. It's like when you pop the thing at the end of the sonic level and all the ends. Oh, yeah! Oh, a capsule!

These are giant space hamsters, and they are also metallic in nature. They're also just like slightly organic, robotic. Okay, so it was like a bunch of hamster zoids. Your saffling core glows with an awesome power. It shines out and mesmerizing almost like rainbow light and popping out of your core are these incredibly cute, like a cyborg, part machine, part adorable hamster,

giant space hamsters that take place in the field, eight of them. And if chuggles had lost that role, I would have been dead. If I can parachute out. Base hamsters. I'm moving myself back. I'm moving myself back.

Well, would that provoke an opportunity attack? Did you move out of male-arranged in the mine player? That would provoke an opportunity attack. And the giant hamsters can't share the same. So what you can do is basically just drop all of the hamsters around them. Okay, got it, got it. Because they can basically skip, you know, you drop them wherever you want. On the water.

Yeah, I mean, they can, you know, they can tread water. We're good though. He can attack you. Yeah, he can attack you. Yeah, he can attack you. Yeah. Opportunity attack? Do you do that now? Oh, sure. Oh, gosh. What do we think the swimming of the...

It's my AC, right? Good enough. Low, but if MindFlowers are made out of paper chowel tubes, then they're fucking gone. Are you within 10 feet of him currently? 15 feet? So she's 30 feet away. Okay, so you would have been hit, yeah. 21. 21 to hit.

Yeah, you hit. Okay. Yeah, he hit. Just check it. Just check. J.C., J.C. You take... Oh, you take 11 points. Don't be a quinn-napper.

I'm going to use silvery barbs. Oh. You need to re-roll that. What? Oh, no. Red roll the hit? Yep. The hit?

Slippery barbs and they're silver barbs. I'll tell you. What is it? Do I take the new hit? What is that? Do I take the new hit? Yes. Yeah, you have to...

Yeah, you take the new hat. Oh, God. I was all. What you do? He's just natural. Uh, is a natural client. Yeah. Oh, I should have come up with a new joke.

Oh, first! Oh, I hope you keep concentration on your hamster. Oh, my God. I'm concentrating, baby. Oh, it's been nice now I can do. Oh, I need to roll my... You will take 20 points of damage. Oh, my glob.

Oh. Oh. And I trigger wild magic. What does silver and barbs look like to you? Does that, is that something? Do you have something about? Oh, what I do is I say like, oh, my cutting words, and I realize that it's not like, it's really bad,

and I just throw a knife in his throat. Like in a circus? Yeah. Throwing the knife at the start. He rears back a little bit, very agile, but it causes him to shift his, cadence of connection and actually has his attack his strike land even harder. Oh, no, this thing is the lower roll.

Oh. Oh. It is the lower roll. If it's the lower roll, it would be 11 damage. If it's the new one, it would be 20 damage. Take 11 damage. Sick, six, six, six. That makes sense to me, the lower roll. It'd be crazy.

That was the higher roll. But it'd be so on brand. To me, that feels like a balance. You know, like, make it a little more about it. Yeah. Well, I also like suck if you had the opportunity to like, oh, well, I just give them a chance to fish for the crit. Yeah, like, oh, I guess I'll never use that ability again.

Savatose. Okay. Danny, as I throw the clown knife, I then like, time slows down, and my heart, a little heart shape pumps, Boom, boom, boom, boom. And there's like this, basically the spice milang is on my, control the spice, control the universe,

control the spice, control the universe, control the spice, the spice, let's flow! For the next minute, all of my spells with a casting time of one action have a casting time of one bonus action. Wow! This surely won't turn me into a weird space,

Dolphin. E! E! E! Sorry. No, it's okay. No, that's fine. Yeah.

My hamsters will attack. I'm commanding them too. Oh, yes. Yeah. So there's eight of them, and I need a roll at advantage. So roll at each one, yep. So we'll see. First one, what is the hit for you?

Can you tell us that? For the Roydflare. We haven't hit of you. You even learned. For this one. Yeah, yeah. We don't know if they. No, same is.

So, 12, plus, four. 12 plus, four. So 16. 16. 16 hits? Okay. 16 hits, so. And you need to make a strength saving through.

What? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's fine. Oh, it doesn't actually, well, yeah, it will matter, but. 24. Okay, so yeah. So that one hit. We'll just keep rolling because you-

I'm tracking AC. Hit, yep. This'll hit. This will hit. Yep. This will hit. 11? No, 15, 15.

15, yeah, sorry. 15. 15 will hit. Oh, five successes. He's not that high. 13 didn't hit. That fails. 11. 12.

13 failed. 13 failed. 11. And then. Oh, that'll hit. Oh, yeah, 17. Okay. One more.

That hits. That hits. Oh, so you check for concentration when you got hit. Okay. Oh. Am I concentrating? On the hamster. Yeah, you have to roll to keep your concentration.

We're twisting this until you get it. Yeah, we are. Isn't that advantage? No, no. Damn. Does you have a workaster. I'm gonna go ahead and say twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is you, you already? The con. She just roll a one. Oh, you gotta roll 10? There it. Okay, yep. So one one twist. We put one twist.

Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So I will. That was so cool.

Oh. Oh. So if you need to roll six more strength saving throws, the DC is 11. And if you fail at all, you're prone. I can't roll under an 11. Oh. Okay. So he is yoked to shit.

Wow. Yeah. For a gigantic whole show. So yeah, you don't need to, basically you don't need to roll. That's a yoke. So now I roll two. You roll 14D4. I guess I could critical.

How many times? If I critical fail it. See if you roll one. So. Dungeon masters or are no critical fails for saving for others. You can't pass. You're in my world now, bitch. Yeah.

For damage and it's plus two for each. So plus 14. So you roll the 14 d4 plus 14. Oh my god. So that was, so that's 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 18, 19, 20. 20. I got it, I got it. 24. 34.

34. 34, so we're at 34 right now. 20, we got six, we got nine, and we got 13. Wait, hang on, hang on, right on. 20 plus, what's that? 34 plus 20? Yeah. We're 20, 34.

54. 54 damage. 54 damage. Are we doing this right? Yeah. Beep-biboo. Yeah. Beep-bibu.

Yeah. You guys win? How do I want to do this? Not even bad. I mean, we all watch it horror as hamsters eat a mindflare alive. It's like watching Eelsie at dinner time.

And also the giant space hamsters teeth are also like shards of metal, obviously. But they're like really cute and hairy. As you fire these space hamsters out of your chest and you roll away and you get hit, they fire into the air, parachutes are up from their back.

and they come down with their clock. In a T play. No, no, no. A death metal version of the Ham Taro scene plays. Yeah. Literally just like assassin Hamtaro's

descend from the sky. They clock in. One says, I have overwatched. And another says, suppressing fire! Your answer is just fucking like, I mean, I don't even know what the hell they do.

I don't even know how to describe it. How do you kill women and children? It's a lot of biting. It's literally what's that. What's that movie with the, not Toy Story, but the movie, the Toy Soldiers. Toy soldiers? Oh, Toy soldiers.

Yeah, it's like that. They're like, uh, go, go, go, go, go. That was a badass. So much, so much. So much biting. Teeth, shred, I mean, blood spurts. Bullets. I mean, yeah, that's what happens.

Teeth, claws. These hamsters. He has so much cleaning to do. I don't know how that. Okay. All right, now it is Monster's One, and I wrote down who that would be. Is that the brain?

That is the elder brain. Okay, as the acid singes into it, that's gonna be... Does he roll his safe before? He takes the damage then, rolls his... So he takes the damage, so it needs to figure out a way to get the acid off, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or make a great concentration. Seven, yeah, seven, nine, eleven, 12, 12, 14 points of acid damage. 14 points of acid damage. What's that? Layer action, not potentially. No, unless it's like damage or it's specifically says. Yeah, you're not very good.

So the acid sears in. Oh, yeah, everywhere. I swear this never happens to me. This is the real brain watch. The acid burns into the elder brain. It, you can almost feel it reach out to the mind flare. It forms a connection to it. And then suddenly a pulse emanates from anyone within 30 feet

of the mind flare. Oh, no. Of this guy? Yeah. 7.5.15, 15, 510, 15, 20, 25, 30. It's everyone. Everybody. Even chunk. Yeah, everyone. Oh, chunk. Because we're in the air, but we're not high enough to be out of it. It would be really great if we've died by a giant space hamsters.

Although my AC is higher, so maybe everyone will roll a intelligent saving thrill. Oh no. I thought he planned to me. That's where I'm a Viking. With a natural 20 plus nine or eight or something. Can I use a shimony sham?

Yeah, you can use a shimmy sham. If you fail, oh, what is the DC? I actually seceded. I think. Nope. I'm an idiot. Okay. I got a 16.

The DC is 16. Oh. It's getting hot in here. If you fail, You take 12 points of psychic damage. How much you bet 12. Okay. If you pass, you take half of that. Six.

Oh, I'm with six damage. Six damage, yeah. I'm a robot after all. I can do that math. Mm-hmm. And that is his turn. We've been fought since we long rested, did we? Nope.

Oh, my, you weren't here. What the fuck? All the rooms are telling me to hijack a space ship. Oh, sorry, that's not his full turn. It will then... Oh, no. So you said 11, if we were 12. On the ground, kind of at the edge of the water there. Chuckles.

Oh, and all the hamsters. In a line from the elder rain, which looks like you're probably, four murder hamster. As well as chuckles, it will attempt a tentacle attack. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 17.

On me. You and four of the hands. Oh, fuck! Oh! Oh! How do I know if it hits the hamsters? Look at the AC, I guess. 13. Oh, okay, got it. You said 17? 17. I mean, yeah, it hits the hamsters.

It certainly hits the hamsters. Can we? Seven the hamsters, you have to deal with the consequences. Seven? Seven points of damage. Everyone in that line takes seven points of damage. Oh, that's not so bad. I'm down. Gosh. It's a tentacular.

My tentacles. My hamster's only got four hit points left. guys. A minute. Well, just four of them. Half of them took that hit. Only half of them? Yeah, it's in a line from the elderly ring to chuckles.

So the hamsters that are on the left side of the mind, or the hamsters on the right side of the mind flare were hit. Does it count as an attack roll? Yes. You roll out. Yeah, so fish for a crit on troubles. Don't mind if I do. No, no, no, no. Oh.

No, no, no, no. No, no credit. Um, okay. Now that I said, oh, it's the Mindflare's turn. Um. He's covered in small hamsters biting him at this time. Oh, God. He will...

How much AP does chunk out by the line? I'm tracking him. HB? Yeah. 40? No. Just want to make sure we're looking at for him. Yeah.

Who are they flying in the air? You 10 feet up? I am. Yes. Yeah, we both are. Okay. Is there one, like, right in front of the mind? front of the mindflip?

Oh, he's right in front. Yeah, yeah, there's a... And all the hampses. And there's this guy right here. That's chuckles. That's shuckled. Oh, wow, from this angle, that looks like a nightmare. Okay.

The mindflier will attempt to strike Chuckles. Again, man, Vanek. Oh, no. Who the hell are you? I'm dying from my own is! I'm dying from my own is! Uh... So,

What is this? I should have youth mirror image. 24 days. Oh, fuck! And you will take seven points of damage. Oh, fuck! And you...

Why did I walk right up to the brackish water? You're now grappling in the arm on the mindflake. The tentacled arm has wrapped around you. and it's pulled you in close. The mall of its face has spread out in four directions. And an elongated, almost like fang comes out from it. And it's attempting to pierce towards your brain.

Jokes on you, there's nothing up there. And, oh, it's a chunk. Save us. It's my turn. What? Chunk. No, chum. And then kibosh. How tall is the ceiling? Jesus, I'm last.

Nightmare. Probably like, 50 feet. Okay. Oh, wow. Yeah, fine, 50 feet. I said it. Oh, he sounds like gigantic shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it stands for reason. Yeah, yeah. I'm at 10 feet? Yeah. No, that's 50 feet. Um, okay, chunk. Uh, chunk. Chunk will

Where is he? Is it the back of everybody? Oh, I guess you guys are up in the air though, right? Yeah. Two of us are, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Chunk will

and then his head will kind of like separate. The jaw will drop down. His head will raise up a little bit. And a small cannon will erupt out from his mouth. And a similar, almost the same blast you saw from Sid as the Cyclops was being disintegrated. An arcing blast of lightning will come out an attempt to shoot the mine flare,

and it will hit. Oh. That's your chunk. You see nose coming? What do you say? He says chunk cast M-41 Spanker and Rocket Lopped on. Holy shit, I was kidding. And out of this really super cute St. Bernard, a dashing, arcing beam of lightning crashes

straight into the mineflare. They call that the chunk thunk. Dealing 18 points of damage. Ooh. We need to mask this really quick. Can you drag a damage to that one player? I mean. We don't do that.

We don't do that here. Yeah. That's fucking Okay. And Kaboosh, it's to you. Do I still believe that everyone is my enemy? Have you been hit? Have you taken damage?

Yeah. You've taken damage? Yeah, yeah. You may re-roll the wisdom save. No. Or you may re-roll the insave. Sorry. At the start of the turn or just after you?

No, when you took damage, you may re-roll the insom. Would a 17 be in the trouble? A 17 would hit it? Yes. Oh, crushed it. So you would be in that? With taking, what did you get by, oh, the psychic pulse? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, yeah. In like less than six seconds, I thought that everyone was my enemy and then the psychic pulse washed that away? Your mind has been just swimming. You're in, almost like, like, literally, your mind is swimming. Almost like the air you breathe is mental energy,

moments, flashes, you see enemies, you see friends, And then a blast in an instant, your brain rocked once again. And it clears the deception from your eyes. Yes, you may strike true. I see the brackish water. I see the chaos all around me. It's all an insane mess. This makes me very angry.

I turn green. I turn green. Oh, he's pooping. How stocky and tough do those hamsters look? How what? How stocky and tough do those hamsters? They're really tough. I mean, they have shards of metal.

Yeah, they're beast wars, hamsters. They may or may not be able to shoot lasers out of their eyes. I'm going to fly up and go and just land. And as I do, I'll use my bonus action to create a searing hot. a boiling temperature caboosh that is going to immediately burn the mind flare

and all of the hamsters and chuckles with three fire damage as I rage. A boiling goo in my brain is going to get eating. No, fuck! And then I will attempt

to grapple the mine flare in my range. So the mine flare auto takes three damage or something. Yes. Yes. Go on the hamsters. And all of them take three damage. I'm sorry.

All my hamsters? Yeah, they look like they can take it. Yeah, they do, huh? Four of them. They only have four help left. Some of them, yeah. Yeah. He said they look chunky.

I thought you meant what they appeared like. That's their physical. Do they appear to be cute and chunky? Like, obviously. Do they appear to be healthy? No. I'm going to attempt to grapple with an 18. It's a athletics or acrobatics contest.

You succeed? He succeeds? You succeed. I succeed. Okay, I immediately blob onto his face, and I just start pummeling away. Fucking die! Fucking die! And I will make my attack with an 18.

Does that hit? Oh, yes. Okay, okay. And that's going to be... If he's grappled, do you roll... Do you roll an advantage? I roll at advantage because I'm reckless attacking. So any attacks against me for the next round will be at advantage.

Honestly. And then additionally, he takes five, ten, twelve points of bludgeoning damages. I immediately start pummeling him, pummeling him over and over with my disgusting juice body. But whole white all over there. You just like... You just like... Fucking die! Fucking die!

You leap into the first... You leap into the prey, green body boiling water, like carbonation coming up from, you land on top of this mine flare. Like my angry seltzer. Engasing its head, but still splashing all your damage to your allies. That's my movement, my bonus action, my action. That's the end of my turn, and that's the top of the round. Perfect.

To chuckles. You, you, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. You may roll a strength, uh, strength. like a You get a Get a little right I use my action

that right I'm gonna try something first I'm gonna try oh I must not fear fear is the mind killer fear is the little

death that brings total obliteration I will face my fear I will permit it to pass over me and through me and when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where

the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain. Going down, I'm going to pull up two cartoon holes and throw them underneath the elder brain and an elephant. They need to make a costume saving throws. Then I also request that as this is happening,

Kavir's sand is blowing around you and in the background you can hear a woman. You also say all of that in the span of three seconds. You're like, Fear is a mind killer. I mean, my well-meditated triggered. As I cast... What are the...

Okay, okay. The older brain will roll 12. Wait. That fails. Sorry, 17. Okay. That succeeds. The Mindflare will roll four.

Got dreads, yeah. Oh, well, how bad is this? Bad. It's pretty bad. All of dread. All right. Is there any way I can fuck it? Okay, I roll a 19.

It's got plus zero, but I rolled a 19, so take that back. Oh, fuck. I'm fearing again. Give me. You, Chad. Thank you, Chad. I'm sorry. Struggles will die.

Oh, this place. Oh, no. You know, I always like that. Good here. It's to you. Well, no, that was just a bonus action. The fibers don't exist. The neighbors don't.

That's just for fun. Yeah, no, that was all flavor. That was all just a window dress. Oh. If I'm going to die, at least let me shake the hand of my murderer. And I'm going to roll out to spell attack. My buzzer. That's so funny.

Roll, did you roll it ahead already? I did. What did you roll? I rolled here. Let me say. 11 plus. man. Is that what?

No, it's just very loud. 19. 19 hits, yeah. Um, you may roll an advantage, though. Oh. Because he is wet, covered in ooze. Uh, the same roll.

Okay. Beat you. I get, oh, fuck. And I'm... Okay. I get. Yeah. He uses that.

Tentical armor. You're a same bird. Uh, that'll be... Uh, 10 point... Oh, no, that's one. four points of lightning damage, and then I can roll a strength saving through an attempt to get out of it.

Sure. I guess I got a... And I can roll a D... Yeah, I actually think I get out. Where's my D4? Strength. That's gonna be 18... 21. Oh, 21 will break out.

Give me the fuck out of here. And I'm going to attempt to just run away. While the... Oh, four. Fuck, oh fuck. You'll trigger an opportunity. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no.

16. Oh, that's my A-fee. I guess. Oh, don't look now. I think you just ain't yourself. I'm gonna use fucking silvery barbs. Fuck this asshole. Nice.

Oh, natural water. Also the throng knife. Okay. Come here. To you. Oh, was that your turn? Yeah, sorry. That was a very long term.

I apologize. That's funny. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I need to see if I trigger wild magic. For my clarification here, the mind player is covered by caboosh and hamsters. Yes. Okay.

Got it. What don't you understand? Yeah. Oh, but I need to. I rolled. at 13 for the wisdom, check for the brain thing

for the illusion. Does that... Have you acted? Have you acted since that happened? No, I got damage and this is the first time I'm acting since the... Oh, that was your re-roll was 13. Yes. Okay. All right, so you were still... You're still... We'll use your attack action to direct it towards

whoever's closest to make... Well, shit. You better fucking choose right. I'm gonna say. Can I get the token? Yeah, we need a coin over here. Is it a anchor? Is it chunk?

Wow. Call it first. Question, though. So as this has been going on, do I see everything that's happening to the mind flare, but I assume it's happening to whatever's closest to me? Or do I only see the mind flare as like one of the people that it looks? You believe your vision to be unreliable.

What you see shifts back and forth. Sometimes you see the mindflare. getting hit almost like a nightmare that continues to overlay over top of reality, but it shimmers in and out. But what you find yourself now is you are convinced that the mind flare is Hank. Kid it. All right. What is Hank making a flickrack in his two?

Yeah. Flip for it. Yeah. Oh. It's Chuck. It's Joe. I put him in the ground. So with him being, I'm assuming right behind me at this point, I'm going to use primal savagery.

Ooh. And the sand from the gourd will come out and coat my fingernails and kind of create this visage on my head of a, I'm trying to think, what's like a scorpion. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah. A vulture. Cobra. And I'm gonna attack Camel spider. Camel?

Yeah, and I'm so I'm gonna attack John. Oh, a spit. That was spitting cobra? That's pretty cool. 14. 14 will not at junk. Okay. Got to give it up.

Oh, thank you. Oh, thank God. Flines to the side. What is it? So you were, you were, you were, You're becoming the scorpion king. So like basically, yeah, so like my head takes the view of scorpion. And you know what?

I'll do my hands instead of being claws as like scorpion. Pinsers. Yeah. So the sand erupts from your gourd almost endlessly. And it forms itself around your head in the shape of the mall of a scorpion, chittering teeth and extends around your arms to form sand clackers. Sand clackers. Look at clackers.

Covering it. Ted will actually be 1990s CGII of the Rocks stage. Oh, no! No! Do you smell? What could be there. He's cooking.

Is that a turn? Yes. Do I now roll again? Is it at only when I think of it? Only one time. Your next attack. So once you attempt it, your vision is cleared.

Oh, okay. Oh, sure. So then after I miss that I realize. You either break out. out of the vision or you do it and once you find purchase on your target, you realize what you've done. Okay, got it. Or even if you miss your target.

Yeah. So at this point now I realize it's chunk. Oh, shit. Oh, thank God. That was about a successful outcome. Yeah. I was hoping for it. I was like, I gotta pretend like I'm actually attacking the mindplay.

Yep. Yeah. There you go. Later action. Who's flying in the sky? Me. Wisdom. Oh, yeah.

Do you have control of this flight, by the way? Yeah, at flying speed. It's just very slow. Intellect saving throw DC16. Well, that's wrap. Roll the natural one, I'm gonna twist it. Oh, thank you, Chad. Twist, twist the fate.

I'm gonna twist it. One more time. Another natural one? No, three. There we go. 19 plus 8, 20. I'm gonna twist you. Oh, bad boy.

10 plus 8. 18. You succeed. You feel the elder, very good outcome. You feel the elder brain reach out and peer into your mind, attempting to, you can't quite tell what it's attempting to do, but it seemed to permeate every corner for just a moment. but you're able to focus in and expel it from your mind. Nice try. No, I know what you're trying to do,

but we should focus on the big fucker right in front of us. I'm going to fly 10 more feet in the air. Can you pass me a cube? Do you have any more feet? I'm going to fly 10 feet in the air. No, I don't have any cube. And I will drop fairy fire. So you're no longer a fairy fire.

fired. And then I will... I think I'll just shoot him twice. Why not? Maybe because he has a feature called Reflect Bullets. Good thing it's a space laser. That is a 7 plus 9 is 16 and a 23. 16 hits, right? 16 hits, yeah. What were you in? This guy. Yeah. Oh yeah, 16 hits.

Okay, so we're gonna do two of these. We do eight, that's good, one that sucks, eight, nine plus 12 is 21, or uh, yeah, 21. Points of force damage and then my bonus action, I'll say, all right, hey, get your time to shine, get in there. And, uh, he's gonna kind of growl softly and then flip and then flip the bite with a oh that's pretty good uh that's going to be 17 to hit 17 will hit uh he needs to make a strength saving throw and probably auto pass but we're gonna try what's that classic mall store with the like massage chairs and like brookstone or whatever brickstone yeah yeah the sharper image too i like that we established a sharper image of brookstone

joke for the star like well early in eight hours ago. 16 on the strength saving throw. But he still takes three damage from the attack. Okay. Three damage from Hank? From Hank. Yep.

A little ankle bite. Yeah. He's kind of growling. I mean, oh yeah, from Hank. Oh, was that Hank's turn? Well, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, Hank goes on my turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, give me his own space. Yeah. Oh, it's dandy. Dandy. D491. D491.

The... Amtaro! The camera! Something about friends! That's what it sounds like as they talk to each other, but all we're hearing is like... You know in Toy Story how they... I forget which creatures are. There's little green ones.

They're like... Ah! The aliens? Yeah, the aliens. That's kind of what they sound like. And they all talk in unison. talking unison as they go and bite into, obviously. I think you act and then they act, right?

Oh. Yeah, yeah. You take a turn to do whatever you would do and then you can command them. Yeah, as long as you're concentrating on. Concentration. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can also drop concentration,

which you absolutely should not do technically. Absolutely. You should not do. At will. No, that you can you get, undone by the very thing we count. I know my watch is it. You're going to give a space rapier.

I'm going to come. I'm going to move just like, I'm going to I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. So I'll cast. It's time to die. So the way you don't break concentration is just by not doing a spell that requires concentration. Correct to moon down.

And don't get super chug. And if you get hit, you also have to roll concentration. that don't require another. Yep. You can cast other spells? Correct. Mm. Sick.

So you can cast, you know, your highest level spells if you want, as long as it's, that does have the big old sea next to it. Oh, incur, ink, unquote. Oh, that required concentration. I can't moonbeam on these people. Okay, I am going to not use that one either,

because they're all, I'm just gonna use a good little crappy one. I'm gonna use Thorn Whip and I can do it from this distance. Let's see You're casting Thoramorp on this guy 4 plus A does a

12 hit No Nothing happens You know what I mean I yeah I do it And nothing happens You extend your arm out And a thorn whip fires from

Like under your Almost like Spider-Man Like under your palm It extends out But it lands on the mind flare But once again, it shrugs it off easily. It probably hits me. It probably hits me.

Classic. It just like bounces off. Kaboosh, making an intellect saving throw. Twist. I feel like you take this one. I take this one. You feel the elder brain reach out once again. My end is brain.

The ship wants your body It's ridiculous You start to You start to remember something You think back on the last Several days You think back about breakfast this morning You think back before that

When you were sleeping connected to the bow of the ship hanging out. That begins to fade. Or were you were you not remembering it correctly? You start to feel the same sensation. You gripping the railing, hanging out off the bow of the ship. But the ship was not the Cyclops.

The ship was the Nautiloid. You were never crew on the Cyclops. That was a false memory. You were an ally to the mind fliers. You are an ally of the older brain and attack your false comrades. Not right now.

These hamsters are fucked. On your turn. Hamsters. Now the hamsters can go. Dandy summons. Okay, so yeah, the hamsters are going to sound like the toy story aliens, and they're all like, ha ha!

It's not cross. Oh, this is their last word. Calamari. Callimals. But it'll make them look like fried egg rolls about 30 seconds, so. Oh, no. Okay, so they'll attack.

Okay. We'll do a lot of rolls. All right, you guys ready? We're counting, yep. What is it? Do we know it? Let's see. What is the plus again?

Four. Okay. Four. Okay. Okay. Hits. Okay. Hits.

It's. Pits. Hits. Hits. Hits. Hits. Hits. Hits.

Hits. Hits. This is just a normal ability. Hits. Okay. They all hit? Yeah. So that's 16 D4 plus 16.

God bless you. 16D4 plus 16. Okay, so I'll roll this. Like, me, me, me, me, you've done more damage than any of us by a wide margin. I just want you to know that. We rolled a single time and applied it to all the aims. 1, 3, 6, 10, 4, 16, 17, 17, 18,

18, and they roll it in the hands to the pack, 18, spike, yeah. 18 plus what? Let me roll all of them, so 18 plus 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 13, 17, 20. 20, okay, so we're at 38. And I don't know what the added, plus 16. Yeah. So that's 54.

Again, unbelievable. It comes right to 54 again. Two rounds. Outrageous. You've done 108 damage. That's number wing. Let's rotate the board. The hamsters go, the claw.

Go out! Boom, boom, boom, boom. Firing mortars into the sky. They all just descend down. Gosh. Like spitting tops of death They whirl like bay blades One of them stands up and says

Looks like calamari's back on the menu boys We're eating good ta-da Yeah They fuck them up They're doing a bunch of crazy hamster bids He's alive? Jesus bloodied.

He is looking bloody. I'm going to hear you're bloody. He's been messed up. And oh, um,

um, in, so avoiding the mind flick, two tentacles will land. Who's that off the side? Oh, that chuncles?

Oh, no! A tentacle attack will fire it chuggles and probably hit like two of the hamsters. If he also did, did the mother brain, did she get rid of her acid or she still acid? Oh, it's still on there. Okay. Well, so you'll enjoy some damage here.

Seven, ten, twelve, fourteen, eighteen points of acid damage. Oh. Now we're cooking as the acid sears into the brain as the spice molage takes hold. Two tentacles You guys got to try this stuff In line Oh fuck! Oh, well I actually got to roll it

Yeah 15. Oh no! Okay, so first time I called Mrs. Chuckles And then 17 on Who's that one back? Kind of the darker one? This one?

Yeah. That's me. That's it. Okay. A tentacle... 17? Dance. Okay.

A tentacle will reach towards me. and I'll get stilt legs, and it'll just go underneath. Oh! Of course you, you'll. What's the damage? The damage is... This is the greatest character I ever played. The damage is 12.

Oh, God. Move over, bitch. And also, it would have hit the four hamsters on the... Well... It would have hit two hamsters. It would have hit... Yeah, like two of the hamsters. Okay.

I'm 37. 30 seconds, boys. Okay. Okay, two hamsters are dead. Like which ones? Yeah, like towards, if you draw towards you, to the two closest to the brain. Oh, that's a great film, I don't know.

You're dead. Oh. And who's that closest to the mind flare, like between me and the mind I mean, yeah. Hank. What? This is Hank. Oh, Hank.

And I'm on top of the mind player. Oh, you fuck out. If it's smart enough to realize I'm in a fucking dare. Uh, well not. It does understand. You are linked into a hive mind. Oh, what stands to reason.

Hey, what's up guys? How's it going? ASL? What are you doing? What? Hey, boomers. I'm my chat room. Yeah. Oh, well, now we are.

It seems a question mark, clown. A clown faith. And Chunk will, it will attack Chunk twice. Oh, Hank, sorry. No, no. Oh, that's Hank. That's in the back. Yeah, Hank's in the front.

Oh. You mean it was, Hank? 21 points of damage. Well, what did he roll? Oh, 17 and then a 19. Well, 17 misses. 17 was the roll. Oh, yeah, that will hear it.

21, you said? 21, yes. All right. Let me just take a look here. Whatever you do to Hank, I do the YouTube. I bet you were going back to Hunter on this. You are two. I am!

Oh! I now! I've learned to walk. I walk like the dead there. Okay, how's how's he, dear? I've learned the voice. Boy. I can't.

All right. How's Hank? He's all right. I still have warning bond, so I'm taking half the damage. Wow. Okay. All right. So it's a chunk.

Chunk will once again, open, split his mouth, and fire off an arcing beam of lightning at the mine flare. I love his dog. And it will hit. Is that Alexander? I love it. Roller. Oh, I was about to ask, is that the dog?

Yeah, Alexander. Alexander, holy shit. A large beam of arcing electricity flies out and smashes into the mine flare searing its body. It's looking actually pretty rough right now. Kaboosh. I believe that I'm lied with the mineflarees. Correct. And I'm not even making vocalizations anymore.

All you sound here are the sounds of juice. I What does that sound like her? It sounds like And I Uh Cream and expressive gases Let's say explode in all directions

Everyone within 10 feet of me takes Three damage That includes Hank That includes the mind flare And that includes all the hamsters Two hamsters More dead and they go A-ha

Around in my innards And They come back into my chest, by the way. Okay, they gloop out of me like two pimples popping, and then I- You said it's three damage. Damage, all right, or straight. And I see Hank, and that's the nearest foe

that I can see. I immediately go to work. I will attack and glorp onto him with my first potting of pseudo. What are all the hamsters? I already, I get you told for it. Right? Well, keep the roll

One, two, three, four, five. I don't have a D5. I don't have a D5. A D6. A D-10. A D-10. A D-10, nice. That's going to be a seven.

One, two, three, four. So that's going to be this hamster right here. I immediately go to work. Two-nimes. That was two-nine, so it's going to be a 17 to hit. Um, yeah. They hit.

Oh, that's going to be 11. him to play some bludgeoning damage. To one of that? To this one over here. That one's dead and it goes, eh! Like you swat and I have another attack. So one, two, three, four.

Splatter's the hamster. The DA is the hamster. The DA is Hink. I have a D4, man. So four is Hank. It's a two, so it'll be this middle one here closest to the elder brain. And another...

He's not dead yet. He's not dead yet. That's going to be a reckless attack. That's almost a natural 20. 27. Does that hit? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. It's going to take maximum damage.

Fifteen points of hamster damage. He blows out a giant microwave. Do you remember that? Fast cartoon? Yes, I do. However, I'm going in a different direction. It's like one of those Play-O machines where you push down the hammer

and just extruse out. You're on deck. You're on deck. Look alive. And that's the conclusion of my turn. I'm so sorry. It's okay. I've become evil caboose.

Non-verbal at this point. Do I get the sense that the mother brain, like, is attached and needs to be in the spot? It has not moved to this point, right? Peering above the wall, like coming from under the wall. Yes, you would see that it's connected. It was, I mean, even as it rose out originally, it was pretty clear that it needed to, like, it remains. It didn't even avoid the acid spray. It remains in this spot.

I'll look at the carnage with caboose and all the dying robot. animals. And I'll say, this battle is in between the gross squidnapper. That's the third time I've used that joke. It's you. Mother Brain. And I owe Mother Brain, that's something to do with my resentment to my mother. Anyways, I'm going to reach into my hat and I'm going to pull out a bright pink,

inflatable flamingo raft. That is just a raft, a five-by-five. as my creation as my bard features in action I'm gonna hop on to and use my movement one two three four five six and I'm going to say are you going down

and I'm going to once again pull out a giant cartoonish hole and throw it at the fucking mother brain a what Like a big black hole. Like a, almost like a portable hole. Like a Roger Rabbit style. Yeah, a hole.

Like a bug's body hole. And I'm going to throw it at the brain. And he's to make a consulate who's saving from. It's a bonus action. Nine. The hole will open up between the mother brain. And I'm going to look at the far corner of the room. And a giant black hole is going to open up here.

and I would basically rip all the tentacles out wherever she's attached it's attached to and beach her over here. This was the vortex warp I warned you about earlier. You may recall, Dr. Manzger. You've heard of a beached whale. But have you heard of a beached brain? He's like, does this ship die?

Yeah, I think you may have actually doomed to us. You just ripped the brain out of a ship That is a lot We certainly have no way to pilot it now And we're heading towards wild space I think with that Spigatification is really the messed outcome I prefer the actual

I'm not in this point I've seen horrors beyond my comprehension I'll clean up this whole mess Control the Spife Control the U-S universe do do do do do oh I need to roll my what you call it my wild magic my wild magic eight okay I'm good nice I'm good did you have to call the number before you roll it no no so basically if I roll one then it's and so then next yeah I'm okay over there I'm sorry I mean I

I it's the rule that's written I mean I flavored it's Roger rabbit shit but that's actually how it work. Is it your turn? Yeah, no, I'm in a little... I have a smirkhole and floaties and big flippers.

Like I said at the beginning of this adventure, at any moment you can just be like, and the atmosphere, you'll stop working, and you all pull up your guts. I just beats the mother brain. I don't know what to tell you. It was that or a pie.

You would. notice two things. You did. The power to the ship immediately cuts out entirely. All of the lights cut out. It's now just darkness where you are.

The feed that was coming out of the water completely shuts out. You also have your faculties back. My faculty You no longer have false memories.

You no longer have false memories. You remember your time on the Cyclops. I'm so sorry. The spell of Dominate Mind has faded. Oh, that's a good one. I look at my juice hands and horror. Is there a bunch of, I'm imagining like a bunch of horrible disgusting like tube ripping

like from wherever it was and like a bunch of like ooze spraying out. As it was sucked through the Roger Rabbit portable hole and appeared out here as it fell that distance pylons ripped and tore and sparked out

from under, not up in the air but they were under the water as it fell out it shattered all of those bonds as it appeared on the other side of the room and you can see it juices running off. of it spilling out in a small puddle under it as you now see relatively clearly what

just looks like a massive brain as dark black ooze just kind of begins to squeeze out from the edges is it still capable of flight or did it hit the ground like a wet sock well I actually fine yeah I see it come down it goes up the portal the portal disappears and it kind of It's like a jellyfish on the beach. Yeah. It is like a jellyfish on the beach. All right.

Kavir, your turn. That does not seem good. Is the mind player, like, still mind flying? The mind flare, uh, when this happened, the mind flare, you may get the sensation that it seemed almost confused, that it reeled for a moment, uh, as it felt something severed. from it and it is now raging. Can I see it considering how dark it is? The mind flare? Yeah.

Where are you? Are you like super far? Like 10, 15, 20. Like 20 is 20. I'd say if you're within 20 feet. You could see you like its outline and if you can't see it, you can hear it. Okay. Well admittedly look very confused as to what just happened.

But nevertheless, I'm going to Eldridge Blast. This mind flare, in hopes of at least putting it down, that is a 20. Oh, yeah. Put it down. Put it down. 10. Seven and a six. So it's 14.

13 damage? Yeah, 13 damage. I hate cents. It's coarse and dry. It's everywhere. What? Fuck. What do you do?

I just don't blasted. Okay. You fire out two blasts of sand that land squarely in its chest. It is looking very rough. Yeah. Layer action. No layer action comes. Oh.

Oh, you disconnect. Redis to you. I guess if it's looking rough, I'll still float there. I don't know what more. I can do besides shoot it. That's going to hit. And that's going to do two plus six

is eight points of damage. It might hit. Yeah, it was 25. Eight points? Yep. Okay. That's a 26 to hit. 26 hits.

That is 16 points of damage. I was looking. It's making very, very rough. If Hank, if the fucking pug takes it out, I'm going to be so far. fucking happy. It has my bonus action. Oh, right, please.

Backflip this bitch. You deserve this. Stick him. Do you know what is your shoes? Twist it. Twist it. I don't give a shit. So if he, then right.

He's gonna sweet spot the up there. No. No, but the last one was, I think it's a 15 or 16. Yeah. Just one more time. One more time. Yeah, applying. Do it.

Do it. We know 15s hit the bro-th, broscape. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. One more time, one more time. Last one, last one. Last one, last one. We need a back, we need to kick flip this.

17 to hit. 17 is? Woohoo. Oh, real damage. Yeah. He's spot. And he's to make a strength savings, bro. After it takes six points of piercing damage.

How strong as a brain? How strong as a brain? Yeah, they have to make the strength. What are you attacking? The mind flare. The mind flier. That's not able to do. Hank walks up to this mind flier.

In classic, Jojo's bizarre adventure style. The mind flare stands there, and Hank, like, walks up like this. And then... His eyes are like, like, who are like... Oh.

Uh... how does the heck want to do this he just like bites its ankle kind of like and bites the Achilles heel of the mind flare and then rips it out

and the whole tendon pulled out from behind the as egg just hyperchunks him straight out he grabs a nerve and it just pulls our brain Oh! Oh! And then Hank starts running around the room, like,

Oh, flash. Like pulling a tennis ball through a pants leg. With my flippers and my floaties, I'll cross my little tag, Hank had thumb nerves. Great. Wow. Okay. We disconnected with the brain and the mind flare instead.

Yeah. Maybe we're gonna die, motherfucker, die, motherfucker die in this brain office space of style it actually I don't know if you know this but it can't survive outside of the water

really it was floating above the water this whole time it was in the water it was submerged in the water and that's what I had a total check I was like I'm pretty sure it came on you oh no here's Peter Jackson to come and give it a spooky skull face on the top of of it because the brain wasn't scary enough.

What an unceremonia of death? That's so fucked up. You just got Roger Rabbit in. The vortex warp was just like a... It's insane. It was doing so well. I've got all of this under control. I definitely...

You would have dreaded that one. You weren't expecting a space clone. Oh, Christ. Was it like still Is it dying? It's been like 15 seconds Yeah It's been out of the water

Yeah So it's like you know Try to get it back in the water I don't think we're getting out of here Without that thing No I think I already feathered It's two I'm able to figure it out

Is there anyone have a straw No Can you use that port of thing again? As you're discussing What to do You hear In your mine once again.

Shit. You have no idea. The hunger I held back. And it seems to fade away. And as it does, the other end, the far end of the pool, behind where it was, almost like the whole edge of it

starts to erupt and boil 12, 13, 14 individual distinct spots at least and not quite as big but as you as you as you oh fuck I fuck something up

no that happens yet fix it in a buzz hang on that'll come but A large cylinder of blue light erupts in the center of the room. Did he hear? No.

Oh, thank good. It's almost where Red is flying. A large cylindrical beam of light. light. Almost like a sigil is projected onto the ceiling. You see, shit, don't look any of my notes. I can't read that shit. You see what looks like this blasted onto the ceiling. What the hell? Can you describe what we're looking at? You see it within the cylinder a triangle. Okay. In either section that the triangle creates,

you see almost the symbol of infinity. An eye with a line and a Z connecting to the bottom of it. And some winged creature in the other section. Can I see that really quick one more, though? Guys, I think the truth is here. Something appears, in the cylinder of light.

Oh, no. And steps out. Oh, no. An illithid, but this one looks more traditional like you would have expected, right? This one does not seem to be

lost any kind of madness or hunger. However, does not have the like almost viscous, almost like Davy June's wetness on the outside that an illithid very traditionally has. It's developed kind of like a dry skin. It steps out,

pays almost no mind to you. And it walks over to the elder brain. It reaches out, the tenderly hand, touches to the elder brain, and you can hear, not in your minds, it speaks. The only thing you held back was true power and advancement. As the light fades away, he then turns to you and says, you may want to run. You won't survive what's coming next. And then the bulb will start at the back of the water. And then the bubbles.

And then the bubble start at the back of the water. What are we going to do? Run, run, run, run. Run. Doon, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I think I still have quite a bit of flight left, so I will slowly start to fly along with my companion. Oh, no, is this like a dream?

Ah! He'll shout after you. Oh, I forgot one thing, the hangar bay is unlocked. Oh, there's that vehicle. Oh, the escape ship. We should go there right away. Go! All right, let's go!

The water begins to bubble towards the back, and you see cresting out from under the surface heads that are splitting and opening and separating in four that look very similar to the mind flare, significantly smaller, but almost more ravenous, as they begin to rise out of the water and start to walk towards you. Run.

Run. Got 12 of them? 12. 12, for starters. I feel sadness and regret. I never wanted to hurt any of my allies, and yet I was so easily manipulated by the strange effects of this space. Maybe it's tremendous power that happened to me,

but in these moments of panic, I'm still hanging back and making sure that the four of my allies are in front of me. I will try to spread myself as gooply and widely as I can to try to absorb anything that might be coming from behind. I'm looking both directions. I am trying to protect Dandy. I'm trying to protect Chuckles.

I'm trying to protect Cavier. I'm trying to protect Rhett in these moments as we are making a way through the door out and towards the hangar. You take the form and extend out of your like tidal wave motion and spread in a 10 foot side-by-side expanse as you begin to swirl and advance in front of your allies. Go, go, go. I see all of the bubbles, and I'll reach it on my head.

I'll pull up the salter bottle. I'll make a little motorboat, and I will join my friends and start running. Let's go. Come on, hey. Caboosh, now is not the time to be a hero. Follow me. And I'm going to lead everyone down, because I know exactly where it is, because I had the sense of where the hangar was.

Yes. I'd like to go straight there and find the location of the, ship that sort of called to me. You do so. You all begin to run. You spiral down the stairs. You can hear above you, the skittering, which sounds very familiar to what you heard earlier

in the library. Now it's clear. These ravenous hunters follow hot on your trail. You run down, down one flight past the observation deck, down another flight past the library, down another back to the, to the, ground floor and down one final spiral. This is one more, no, one final spiral to now the open, hangar bay doors.

And within it, you see a beautiful ship readily, readily there. Um, Hatch open. It's a red ship. Uh, not like the, uh, not like the, uh, not like the, uh, the Cyclops, it's not a galleon. This is strange, almost like an amalgamation of ships, parts that you would have seen in a lamprey, parts that you would have seen in the Nautiloid itself, made in sections of similar black metal, you get the sense, you think back to what you found in the library, you think back to what the elder brain shared to you, you get the sense

that it's possible they were developing their own ship from the shared knowledge of different races. And that's what you see in front of you. As we enter the, get to the bottom of the spiral staircase, I'm going to reach into my hat and I'm going to pull out a large unicorn pinata. And I'm going to throw it. It's going to sprout paper wings and fly out and basically float and hang in the doorway. and I will cast

what is it? Nathair's mischief. And so when it is a cube effect, and so when anything rushes into that cube, it will have to, basically the pinnata will pop and a bunch of effects. They'll have to roll for a random

effect. This isn't candy at all. Oh, and I need to roll my wild magic third. Oh, no. Oh, thank goodness. Do you board the ship? Yeah, I'll immediately get on the ship And get this out to Fiona in the cockpit And I'll sit down of my way, Red, hold on.

I'll sit down in the cockpit. I don't know how to fly this thing. Do you sit down in the chair? No, no. Do you sit down in the chair? You did? Yeah, okay. As I was sitting down, I got turned out of the way.

There is it, so immediately We're not going to die. We're not going to die. We're not going to die. that allowed you to board it flips up. Chuckles, as you run in and sit down in the chair, out from the back of it, has a similar yet distinct kind of hook over the top. You feel a sensation as something juts out from the back

and attaches to the back of your neck. The rest of you can see that a silver cord has released from the seat. And as attached yourself. It feels weirdly pleasant. Oh, no fucking way. It, as it, as it,

God, it feels almost as if it's empowering you and simultaneously as if it's drawing on something at your core. You feel as though it's giving you life essence, but it's taking it as well.

And as you sit down, on the ship and this connection is made, the ship begins to change and form, and it becomes quite colorful. Is it a clown car? It wasn't before, but it is now, motherfucker, let's go, it's blackmail. It is kind of a small ship, you wouldn't have thought,

but what begins to happen to the inside is you get the sensation that the inside of the ship is quite larger than the outside of the ship. Um, and, uh, uh, you're, an array of weapons makes themselves known to you in your mind. Um, they're oddly familiar, uh, guns at the, at the front of the ship, uh, described in your mind as toy guns. Um, but you know that if you were to trigger them, you know what would happen. Uh, and as the ship, uh, spools up, if you decide to, uh, if you decide to, you know, to attempt to take off, almost a demonic hellfire will blast out of the engines.

Rocket you away. What is happening? I guess he's going to fly it. Get us out of here. Truly, we were on a silver strand. As I laugh with the voices of countless eons of space, I rev up the gumball gatling guns. I load the coconut cream pie torpedoes.

And we rev out into space. The last thing you hear before you exit the nautiloid is the popping sensation of your pinata as a collection of horrible vampiric mind flares. Step in and it explodes and they're covered in gumball and taffle. and they're all stuck to the ground. And you hear in your mind welcome

to the Ganymede Mark 3. And that is where we won the session. Wow. Let's fucking go. Well done, Nate. It's got to get out. Meadows. Holy fuck.

I just wanted to do it. It was. It was. Somehow it worked. You're crazy, man. You're kidding. You were too busy thinking about whether or not you could. You forgot.

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