Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 10 | Raucous Revelry

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

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Greetings. You're listening to Legends of Avantress. My name is Morning Frost, and this is Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Frost, still nowhere to be seen. Torback, taken away to some unknown fate. You're presuming that the pole is coming towards me. What if, in fact, it's the reverse, and that clowns are being pulled into my fist? I must fucking trolls, too. Well, I will admit that what prompted us to come to this carnival was something of a situation. We were going to be paid to actually see if we could investigate a little bit and find the patron of an elderly man who grows giant pumpkins. Oh, no. I think it's the foul honk knights.

Ugh, the honk knight. The hunk of the hunk legion. I've killed many of your kind, hunk knight. and one of the clowns as he was trying to get out tripped and fell directly into Gideon's sword, completely running him through. Derek, can you be klutzy for me? Oh, klotzy, klutzy, klutzy, klutzy, klutzy, clotzy, I'm so klutzy today. Free my hands, Lord Krumington.

I have to kill him a second time. You're going to kill the rest of the clowns if I do that, guise. Yes, please. Clancy won't be the last person I've killed. Move it slower, Mr. Loint. I mean, I want to try to catch it. You remember our deal. You come back with a Kenku,

and you can have all the answers you're looking for. Do you want to steal the weather vane? I don't steal it, I just be... Thinking about stealing thou weather vein, huh? Standing in front of you is a Kenku in a dark blue robe. We want what's best for Zabler, and I do not believe that Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are up to good. You were making your way through the streets of the carnival with a mission that had been given to you by Mr. Light himself.

And that was to capture the Kenku, kettle steam, and to bring them back to their wagon in the hopes that they would, or for the sole purpose of being able to have them answer the questions that you had. As you were making your way through, you were however spoken to. to by Burley the Buck Bear, who though he trusts in the leaders of the carnival, is concerned because his brother Hurley has gone missing. His questions have not been answered. And he, listening in, eavesdropping as he tends to do, noted something that you may not have picked up on, that Mr. Light offered to answer your questions, but he never said anything about honestly. And that if you wanted honest answers, you were going to need to have something to barter with. and that something was the witchlight vein or the witchlight hourglass.

He informed you of some people around the carnival who might be able to help you, people to talk to and get a sense of who might be on your side if you could befriend them in some way or another. And it was with that that you started to make your way through the carnival heading towards Pixie Kingdom, a place that you had not been yet. When you were approached, and to your surprise, you did not have to hunt for kettle steam, because instead, kettle steam found you. She motioned you to an area behind some of the carnival games, and it is here that she revealed herself to be the Kenku you were looking for. and in the voice of the candle flip the mime, she began to speak to you.

And it is here that we start our session. And before we start, why don't we go around the horn and talk about what curses we currently have? It's actually funny that you said that. I was just going to ask you to do that. Oh, go. Thank you very much, Rich.

Go ahead and ask us. I would like, before we start the session, if you would each go around the horn and explain what curses you are afflicted with currently. That's a great idea. We will start with Derek. I'll start. We will start with Derek.

Then we'll move on to Mike. We will start with Derek. I'll start. We will start with Derek. And then we will move on to Mike. I don't have any. I'm not done explaining. We will start with Derek.

We'll move on to Mike. Followed shortly by Rich. And then quickly after by Mace. Okay. Mace in last place. Fuck, I was going to say that. You'll break your pencil. It's not actually a pencil.

Mace, go ahead. So we're going to start with Derek, and then Mikey, followed by Rich, and then shortly after by this. I don't think we have any curses. I don't think we have any curses either. I think they were cleared by Lafie Taffee. No, you legally distinct. You did you need to get another? Jaffytab.

You have the one that you got, you've got enough. Flower crown. Yeah, that's perfect. So we're going to go ahead and start with Derek. He's a prophet. So we're going to go ahead and start. start with Derek. Derek, say you have... I don't have any curses that I...

Lovely, Mike! I mean, whatever curses there besides life. As soon as you're born, you're dying. Yes. Trapped in a body that can feel, hunger, pain, unable to escape. Crippling loneliness.

I mean... And hemorrhoids. Buh. I don't remember, I'd see. And I know, chat, keep this in the video, Rich. Pretty editor Rich, keep this. I'll get all this, them.

Oh, good. I know that it said that I can't talk about it, but I am interpreting it and with the DM's blessing that I just don't remember. That's way less painful. That's smart. That's smart. I need to tell everyone that I meet that I love unicorns,

and I cannot intentionally or willfully lie. Like George Washington. I wear a beautiful flower crown. and I have to water it once an hour. Oh. Just find like a bucket full of water like dunk? Well, it's raining when we had our kiss scene, so. Oh, so it's already water.

So that counts, yeah. Very nice. Yeah. We're cooking two meats on one fire. Yeah, we were at that point. All right, thank you. Thank you for that. And with that, we will go into the session. You are standing behind, in the small nook behind a few of these carnival games.

This is clearly an area where the witchlight hands bring additional prizes and things in through the back curtains of these places. It's a storage area. It's places where the witchlight hands can change shifts and take breaks. And it becomes clear to you, having so easily moved your way here, that kettle steam, this Kenku, is very familiar with the layout of this carnival. And you watch as you make your way to this area. and Tengku's visage begins to change as she now takes on the form of a witchlight hand. And she is indistinguishable, looks like a small female goblin, the butterfly wings firmly attached to her back as she looks out at the four of you.

And in that voice that was clearly stolen from Candlefoot the Mime, she looks at you and says, I know that you've been hunting for me. We haven't been hunting. I wouldn't call it that. I've watched you look for me in the crowds. Yes. We were looking for you. Basically got a bounty on your head.

You understand that? And we mean to collect. We don't all mean to collect. Wait, I thought that's why we're here? No, no, no. I didn't want to necessarily go through with it. Wait, you don't want your cut? Cut of what?

A collect, treasure? No, we haven't been promised anything. For perhaps more answers that we now know we may not be able to trust. I would have an honest conversation with this. Is this your true form as a witch-light hand? Were you previously a member of the circus? How did you come to be here even? Are you stupid?

In some specific ways, but no, I'm quite intelligent. You know I'm a Kenku. You've been told this. Oh! I'm currently a goblin wearing butterfly wings. Oh. Yes. Have you ever heard this one before?

Cancou? More like can't who? Have you heard that before? You're really the people that Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are asking to do their dirty work. Well, I'm one person and one goblin. The rest of us are people. Before we go on it further, look, they're looking for you, but I think we're be allied. First of all, I love unicorns. I forgot to mention that. Also, can you tell us what your

role is in all of this? What are you looking for? Because I think our goals are a line. You see as she looks around and she stops, and you notice that her body is completely still, but even her movements are still bird-like in this goblin form that she has taken, and just her head moves from side to side as she listens and checks for potential eavesdroppers. And when she seems to feel comfortable, she begins to speak. I'm looking for my patron, Zabilner. I've not been in contact with her for a while to a point that is disconcerting. The last that I heard were whispers of the witch-like carnivals.

I believe that whatever happened to her started here. First of all, I wanted to just confirm that you were at Kanku, now that we've gotten a chance to talk to you. I promise you, I believe you now. Second of all, this is not the first time we've heard this story. Cancou? We're here in this carnival because someone else, another follower, what's the right term for someone who is the same relationship?

Oh, Minion. Minion? Minion of the Sibylna. Had the same suspicion. How did you come to this understanding? The gentleman's name was Madrick, I believe. She immediately recoils and spits on the ground. Oh.

An idiot, an imbison. I mean, you're right about that, but why do you say that? Because he's an idiot and an imbison. Oh, that checks. Yeah, could an idiot and an imbecile make a very nice slice of pumpkin pie? Yes, onion pie is not a difficult recipe. Well, lots of ways to fuck it up. Did he purchase the crust or make it himself?

You know, I didn't taste a little store bar now that I think about it? You know, in the garbage, I didn't see the Costco clamshell. Yeah. Well, than likely, he just put it in the oven. Why is it so delicious? Look, I'm going to be real with you. We haven't had the same goal. but nothing's stopping us from turning you in

and we'll get a favour from a very rich and powerful person. So what can you offer us? Yes, I'm sure you'll get a favour, but it won't be the one that you want. You think that they're going to keep their word to a T? They're trixie, just like the Faye. They have loopholes. They'll do whatever they need

to not give you the answers that you need. And I know this, because I know things you do not. what I'm trying to communicate is that there's no skin off my back to turn you in one way or another I can either way I'm still crossing my fingers and hoping they help sure and you'll miss out on valuable information then and that's what I'm saying can we perhaps make a deal sure if you stop threatening me immediately

I just want to make our terms clear and that haste is of the essence then don't threaten me when I've come to you willingly. All right. What can we do for you? I need help stealing their weather vein or their pocket watch. Oh, that's what we were going to do.

I thought you were going to... Wait, what? Oh, we're going to kill a clown for... No, oh, giddy-nordid. Cremie just said that you were threatening to turn me in. No, we were asked to turn you in. I was letting you know that they want us to turn you.

And you were threatening me with you, with the possibility. That was our cover story, you know. If you had another plan, why didn't you say that? Huh? What? What? Who?

Kank who? I'm starting to understand why magic put the fore of you on the case. I know it's still good. It's still not quite sure why Mr. Witch and Mr. Light have put you on the case. Outside of thinking you might be too stupid to follow through. You know it actually? I think that's exactly what it is. He thinks you are so stupid.

stupid, you will not be able to accomplish anything, you'll be so distracted. The night will finish. You'll at least keep me from my goal, and they will pack up and move on to the next site. It understands that you're confused, because I haven't hit you yet. If I'd hit you, you'd understand why they sent us. He does punch quite hard, but... You'd have to catch me. No more threats, please. Can we just... And no one has yet. No one's threatening nobody. We... We're trying to turn her in.

We're running in the body. I just said, you know, I've got a pretty good truck record. I've got two kills since we've been here so far. I mean, she's... And I'm bare the touch. One, my hands were behind my back, and I was wearing a felt calm. I want you to roll a perception check. And you know, she's got a bit of a reputation as like a politically motivated terrorist.

You know, a little bit of a little bit of violent uprising. 21. Prescription, you say. For prescription. prescription. Oh, I've got to call in more prescription of a 23. 10. 14. You are all arguing together, and as you look over, you see that kettle steam is nowhere to be found.

Oh, kettle steam! Well, you scared to her away. I thought it was kettle steam. I immediately look into the crowd and see if I can see any of the, even as suppressed as they may be in a getaway, the bird motions. Roll a perception check at advantage because you're looking specifically for avian-like. I would say that is definitely enough. You are able to see what appears to be in a wood elf, a tall female wood elf,

that is darting in and out through the crowd, heading deeper into the carnival towards the Pixie Kingdom. and the movements occasionally, you can see the motion of the arms, which almost look like flapping, very slight but enough to give kettle steam away. Well, we failed. Just saw what I believe. I bet my bottom dollar on it,

kettle steam heading towards Pixie Kingdom. Do we know her name? But we cannot scare her away the next time we have this opportunity to talk to her. Yeah, she told you her name, and you knew her name beforehand, Mr. Witch and Mr. Lai mentioned it. Well, let's go chase it out.

Let's go. But they were scare her? Yes. I would say after the second round of threats, it became very clear that she felt like she was going to get nowhere with you. We need to go to the Pixie Kingdom. That's a bee line in that direction. If she's going there, she may cause additional disturbances,

and perhaps we can either prevent an accident, or we can at least to cost her there and see if we can get her to come over out. What does it cost? to confront her there. No, don't say confront. That's too aggressive. Too heavy.

Just surround her. Rather, you know, rah, ah. Yeah, but the opposite of that. Yeah. Well, we surround her and then, you know. Go, rah, rah, right. No, no.

But in an unbred. How about have a pleasant chat over some corn frogs? It still sounds a little intimidating, the odd lady. Corn frogs and cut the roof of your mouth. It's got to be like jam or doubleberry ice cream. I feel like a beef would be white. Cherisberries ice cream.

It's so good because it tastes extra. And tastes like plurries. That's what it is. Damn, I forgot their tagline market it already. Well, after. Well, after. Well, okay, yeah. We said possible.

Yes, I will follow Grico and we will start to make our way directly to the kingdom of pixie. Sure. Roll and roll another perception check at advantage to just see what you see. Twist it. Oh yeah, let's do a little twisty, twist. We got them. Oh yeah, we got them. Roll it do 100 for me. I did check. I was sure if we were running low. You've been stealing twists and taking them home, you fuck.

No, they're just holding my coffee. It's actually quite good now. I supplement my iron. Wow. What is that number? Oh, it's a nine. Is it nine or six? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm positive. Okay. So that's 12. 12 of the bird-like and look-ins. Did you want to twist it again? What's your D-100? I'll take a look. Oh, I have to roll D-100 first to decide if I want to risk it. Okay, so roll a D-100. me some 28 action. You are in constant physical pain.

Do you have an idea of what we haven't hit? You know, like, how scattershod we've been? Oh, there are tons you have not. You guys keep rolling the same things. Yeah. Like, you've gotten the clown one so many times. It's ridiculous. And the knees locked together one.

Then my beautiful face. Yeah. You've had a lot of, like, similar combos. Yeah. Crazy. Um, I think she's in that direction. Ah. Oh.

That really stinks. That's... I've an idea. Mm-hmm. You got to say... Oh, oh, well, I'll do what I'm about to do. Can you go and, like, raise your back up and it'll be really funny? What?

Oh, I'll do what I'm about to do. Can you go like, and then like, and raise your back up? Yes, I seem to do it for... Hold on, okay, three, two, one. And I'm gonna turn into a spectral death dog and two-headed dog and I'm gonna be sniffing around trying to get her scent and smell a bird. Because I don't know if she's masking scent. So I might be able to smell feathers.

That's good. If you don't smell any feathers, you could try smelling for high, ah, this is outrageous. What is happening? You feel that now? You need like a plane or something? No, it's sort of spreading from my, finger to my wrist now. She slapped you really fast before she ran away?

I'm going to sniff around, so do I roll a perception check at advantage because it's by scent. Is that what your death dog does? Yeah, the wolf does, yeah. Yeah. It's the stat block, but yeah. That's a good thing that's advantage right there. I'm going to twist because I want to curse. Not because

it's bad. Oh, no. I think I'll take two. Twist again. Are you succeeding? A 21. No, no. I haven't been higher than a seven. Oh, okay. So I wanted to get higher, a 20 or higher, 21.

Two? Two twists? Yes. Yeah, he used to. 21. Looking at you, as everyone looks at you, you all see as this spectral death dog is sniffing around, but all of a sudden, it no longer has the head of a dog. It has the head of a donkey.

Two heads of donkeys? Two donkey heads? Because they're a dog and a donkey. Oh, so yeah, they're now two donkey heads. Jesus. Hey, he's doing the dog thing. Oh, that's new. I haven't seen that monster before.

Oh, my gosh. Should we kill it? Gideon, punch it in the body. I feel like, brother. Brother. She's this away. What are you doing? Just the thing, brother.

That was the other one. That was the other one. Yeah. 14. Quick being a weird comera. I was hoping you're gonna go in a, I'm making pancake situation, but that isn't so much worse. Can you roll again for me? Oh, of course I can.

3.3. Making waffles. You know what? I'm just picking one. The rest of your body turns into the body of a corpse. Well, we should have... Oh, my. We should have one.

By all of the gods. I'll take one hat. One hat is going to use its teeth to like drag itself for a word. Excuse me, can we get some laughing tapy? Laffy right at out. Ow! Laffy, ow! If you were an old cripple with broken ankles, he's a dead corpse and two doggies.

You don't want to touch that? Do you think he's going to remember? Remember this? Everybody likes bar face. Pick them up. You still gotta sit down to get in the game. Oh God, okay, mine.

I pick them up like a donkey, a double donkey. One in head is gonna be covering like dirt and sasked. That's about heat hole if we're going the right way. Oh, God. The worst divining round in history. I drag Brigger Mortis Stets are saying it again

Hell, I drackle I must fucking dragon Oh, Gricko You, with that you, with that you are able to determine that Kettlestim did

make her way towards the Pixie Kingdom I submit I will not point you don't have to roll play those

no you do how do you well I think it's this way yeah he's getting real excited it's hard to tell

what did he to say I see he's trying to communicate God well this is going to haul my nightmares

yes this is are you trying to be the chimera from yeah a little bit of call

man calling I don't be, you know what I mean? A little bit of donkey from Shrek, a little bit of a near a tortured hybrid from full-metal Alchemist, a little bit of horrible alpaca abomination from Color Out of Space, you know. Yeah, so you... Should we break both of his necks?

Yeah, go for it. No, look, it'll wear off. We just got to get the big skin, let's go. Get them laughy-taffy at when we get there, yes. We attempt to make it as quickly as possible to the closest Lafie Taffy station that is adjacent to the Pixie Kingdom entrance. Yeah, you look around,

and even with the highest rolls, you wouldn't find one. There I'm not. As you make your way, Mike, you wanted them, so he's got them. You make your way towards Pixie Kingdom. You do see that it appears that the Candy Striper Pixies are not anywhere in this area that you can see, but you do approach

Pixie Kingdom and you see that it is very small in comparison to everything else. The tiny entrance is there's no way that you can get into this space. Is it the doorway to Pixie Kingdom is at the very base of a tree? And the only way in is through this tiny little arched doorway, but none of you are a foot tall or shorter. Um, I... Let's see him! Let's see a gym! I believe he should break his legs.

Creamy? I can't seem to lift my arm. Can you knock on the tree and see if we can get someone's attention? Oh, knock. I take Rick on, I smash it. I was talking to the door. That's why I asked, Cremie. Oh, geez.

Oh, his teeth are just flying out. Yeah, well, he's already a corpse. I mean, might as well save Crimin's Knuckles. You never seen so many donkey teeth. I was going to use my cane, but I appreciate it. Oh, I didn't think of that yet. Probably should use the cane. Oh, Grico, you okay?

I'm going to use a twist of drad. I want you to all have more curses. Is it one dread per twist, or do you get to apply the fakers to all of us with one twist? No, it's one person per dreadn. Okay, so it's four. Three dreads.

No, for the three of us or for... I'm assuming I'm getting another one. You are. Oh, God. You don't roll, I do it. Oh. Grigo, you turn inside out. We're definitely putting them down if he turns inside out.

I'm not carrying. And you... We can't take them into the Pixie Kingdom like this. Two donkey heads, a corpse body, They'll never let us walk around with this hideous diviner. I know, but the candy strippers are nowhere to be found. Cremie, you begin to transform. You are now a 60-year-old human being wearing a bear costume.

I don't know why this always happened. Cremi, you're an old man wearing a bear costume. There's no other way to say it. What happened to my poor family? What's your persona? Um, Frost. Yes.

You are only attracted to trolls. You aggressively seek after a troll for a long-term relationship. I must fuck an owl. Oh. Oh my God, I got the troll in again. That's kind of ironic because earlier he was trying to fucking troll.

He was? You don't want a fucking troll. Oh, I am. Anyone's gonna be fucking trolls around. You got your old man, no filter thing going on again. Yeah. Oh, go. Am I having some sort of a tech?

This is just a nightmare. Maybe a cardiac event. I'm gonna have to find that troll right away. We don't have a lot of time left. Every, all of your friends look like beautiful women and you are highly attracted to them. Oh. Ew.

You don't Rick? Go! Fids are better than one. Yeah, and this instance they are. It's like we don't need those candy strippers after all. Oh, you're a Wiffer snap, but I got just the thing to make you look absolutely spectacular for the fair. Yeah, did those dancers pull out? The what?

You have dancers in? Oh, no, and I pull it out, and it's like I get a long set out. I did not hear that correctly. You're a human of their costume. You're a human old man of their costume. Yeah, they do pull out. Excellent. Well, just hold it to still, get.

Let me just, I just want to apply some face paint to you. I would like to use my disguise self face paint on Gideon and they can look like a troll. Okay. Oh, no. Absolutely. Oh, no. I just got trolls on the mind for sure.

some reason, you know, trolls and bears just really go together. I'm kind of mad. I don't know what the hell's going on around here, but this is my weirdest fantasy come to life. The magic of the face paint transforms Gideon as you take on the visage of a troll.

We're ready for the convention now. Frost doesn't need to change at all. Man, you have a beautiful voice when you talk like that. you put whatever Ricko has become down. You can't help me, I'll put them down gently.

Oh, no, I'll get up. Here, Carmen, take him. I just drop him. My arms break. Feels like my ribs are breaking. My collarbone shifts within my frame. But something else salsosters, Gideon. What is that?

Looking at your visage. My, what, you mean my hands on? What, you mean my handsome fire visage? I've never realized how troll like you look, a kiddie. Oh, what else? This is that? If you're hitting on me, just wait a couple of minutes.

You were making my hell's noises again. That wasn't the pain, Gideon. What? Whom? Lift me. Press me up against this trunk. Well, damn it, if you weren't just such a, beautiful woman.

I'll be able to hold myself back, but I can. So, Frost, here we can go. Right here with Grico, as a beautiful woman with two dogs ahead on the ground. Grasco, I know you can't move,

but you may want to close your eyes. I'm already stiff. You can't close all four eyes. He has to watch everything. That turns me on even more. Grigo, Take notes. I pick frost.

Ow! Ew! Oh, honey. I've never been accused of that. Oh, man. And I... He uses and has his frost against the makes a great passion pin frost against the closest thing that I could pin him against and make sweet, sweet love to him.

In part. public, as children and as the You should have thought about this. As the hideous, a grotesque form of my good friend Gringo stares along with all for us. Oh, it hurts so good.

An old man, Cremi can't turn away because also his bones are brittle. I should probably stop me. And it is, it is the crime. I want you to move the happiness meter down one. But then move it. People are cheering for us. But then move it back up one as they reach climax.

Because it should intervene, or does this just happen? It's happening. Okay. Because. You can't move fast. You can't stop. You are too old to intervene. As someone does seem to go report this to the witch-like carnival.

The pixie striper, the pixie striper, the candy striper pixies. Uncle Gloerbo is in two countries. They're just pelting us with tapis. They're just throwing taffy at you at this point. And you are forced-fed taffy as they try to pull Gideon off of Frost. What in what? In what state are we when the taffy comes? You're in extreme states of undress.

Have we, but I mean like... Oh, he's the penetration, right? It's what he means to ask. There is a both smoking cigarettes. Oh, you faded to black, yeah. I mean, we were all thinking it. You're a fanning. But you're both smoking cigarettes.

Actually, all four of you were laying there smoking cigarettes. I don't know where we got these fucking cigarettes. Oh, I gave you the other cigarettes. I always carry a cigar, but... Wow. Is that twice in two sessions? You know, I've heard about these conventions. I mean, I didn't think the stories were that true.

I mean, what is in that taffy? Oh, God. Maybe we should just ask for taffy and have it in our pockets at any given moment. As Frost speaks to me, I can't look at him in the eyes. I can't look directly over his shoulder. Yeah. Yeah. And perhaps, and I speak inside your mind, perhaps.

No, not there. Not where the memories are. We're being affected by fame magics. It's all right, Gideon. Oh, wait, I'm not ashamed. You're still beautiful. Oh, no, wait. We do we eat the tabby.

Oh, God. It's going to be, this is just me using my mental abilities. It's fine. We have to learn how to ride them tigers, so to speak. We have to learn how to go with the flow of the magics of the fate. Oh, I think I'm, oh, okay. It's fine. It's all just part of the learning experience.

We'll eventually be able to master these magics, I think. It's okay as long as the minds don't touch. T-shirt. I did not do that. You did that. Why did you paint me like a damn troll? That wasn't even one of your curses. You still painting like a troll.

You still are. Because that is not a curse. That's a magic. How do you can just wipe the face paint off if you don't like that? It lasts an hour. I was a weird 60-year-old man wearing a full-sized band costume And you just want a little company?

I don't know, you know, like the convention thing that Grico was talking about. You know, we all had a cosplay, I think they call it. Well, we all had to take one for the team and Frost had to take two. This continues. This door's awfully small. I don't know.

Knock on the door. Excuse me. We would like to enter the pixie. I have a ticket, please. Is there anyone in there? Are you out of order or out of service? What is happening here? You immediately hear and see a pixie

standing right outside of the door looking up at you in shock and concern. I've been trying to tell you for the past 45 minutes. Oh, I'm so sorry. You were busy. I just gotta sprinkle some of this red pixie dust on you to make you smaller. All of us, all smaller or just where the dust hits?

Oh, God. All of you, all of you smaller. Bring on the dust. We want to enter the kingdom. I got to ask my manager. Well, please do. You just did something outside of our gates that I haven't seen in years. Yeah, well, you're welcome.

Didn't you see the happiness made her one up? Well, people loved it. It definitely went back and forth. I don't know how the people felt about it. Yeah. I'm still recalicling that. It went down before it went up. You should see, check if you have any kind of burn book or something.

Their names are probably on it, but maybe just double check with the manager first. Yeah. It's Lexi here. Yep, I'm on the Rocky Talkie. Uh-huh. Yeah, those two sex pests, they're outside. They want to know if they can get into... Oh, they can?

Oh, it's dying. Nice this night? All right. I'll let them in. Yeah. Oh, is Globo on that list? They want to know with Globo's on that list. Who's Globo? No? There's no one named Globo on that list. Oh, okay, quite nice. What did you say your name was? Lexi, why? Wasn't that a name? Any relation to a fairy name Lexi?

No. Oh, all right. It must be a common thing, you know, like John or Mary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Pixies kind of go under a naming scheme, Trixie. Mixy, minksy, tinksy, Lexi. Schmexy. No, I've never heard of one. T-Rexie. That would be a really cool one, but no.

Oh, yeah, sorry, I don't mean to keep you on the line. They were allowed in, though. Oh, Mr. Light's happy about it. No. You got it on camera? Oh. No. What's a camera?

Oh, a major image? We looked over at the corner and he's just like, hey. A major image for tonight at the corner. crowning of the... Wow! Oh, Mr. Light said something about this bank, bank? No. I guess. I'm not.

I guess. All right, then. No, if Miss Delight's happy, then we're happy. All right, all right. All right. Thanks, Mincy, I'll talk to you later. Okay, honey, boy. And she hangs up.

That's black man what's to happen. Anyway, just hits with the dust, please. Oh, and before, uh, is there anything that we should know about, um, the dust experience while we're inside the kingdom, and, and what kind of activities we'll pursue there. We have to get out before a certain time or we'll enlarge inside of the kingdom and be crushed by our own and exploding bodies.

There was something horribly wrong with you. It's just a logical question. That one is the risks. No. Inside a pixie kingdom, we've got dust just sprinkled out, sprinkled all about the place. You'll stay small the entire time you're in. Has anyone ever had an allergy to the dust?

Oh, yeah. And what happened to them? Oh, they were burping bubbles for like four days. Some burping bubbles, isn't it sounds so bad. I'm sure I don't have an allergy to that. Sounds a little unpleasant. I mean, you have a hiccup for four days? It's not fun.

No. It's a fast track to a six-pack. I won't shake up for about three days. Some corn frogs was far too fast. I don't remember that. Yeah, remember? Yeah, no, it was just like, oh, I couldn't stop myself. I tried scaring you, but it didn't speak.

Yeah. I was just thinking about a memory. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking about the memories. How scary you were. Thank you. Please continue. Here, my ticket.

Oh, ticket. Thanks. I'll have to punch him once you're tiny. Oh. That ticket's as big as I am. Oh, that's a good point. Oh, hold on to my ticket then. Please do.

All right, are you ready? Hold on. I'll pull it a hand. handkerchief, there we gonna be setting up. Z, s, tz, s. Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, that's better. Yeah, I'm not sure why you were holding on to that ticket the entire time. I couldn't let go. And with that, she, she blows the red.

She blows the red pixie dust on all of you, and you immediately feel your bodies begin to shrink down as you now stand about a little less than a foot tall. Oh, and look at you strapping lads. You look so much better down there. Oh. Hello, welcome. Are I the same size as me, lads?

It was not proportional. It's probably proportional. It's proportional. You're very small. There's not like adjust. Can we adjust? No. Can we adjust to the?

off a little bit? Cover your mouth a little with the what the pixie does. You take in less, you'd probably have less of effect. No. It's not a bad idea. It's at least a hypothesis. Yeah. No, no, still breathe.

Still breathe. No, we can breathe in and out. No, no, he'll tire himself out. He'll pass out before he dies. He always will wake up with a headache. Thank you, Lexi, I believe it always. Yeah. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Do we have everything that we need?

Yeah, you just need to enter in through the Pixie Kingdom Gates. Here's my ticket. Thanks. Oh, thank you. You all got our dickets sponge. Your dickets. My dickets. I kind of take a foot and shake Cricko away.

Hey, Grico, come on. Get up. Oh, my tall again. Let's all I squat. No, just held your breath until you passed out. out again again oh you know like kill brain cells huh

every five times you do that your it score goes down by one can you believe Frosty's a boblubbbl whiz-l-blum I follow I follow the Bricko dejected way into the Pissy kingdom the event I'm most excited about it's all fucking carnival. And now I hate it.

Oh, God. You make your way into the Pixie King. In through the arched entryway that leads into the trunk of this tree, and you see a copse of small oak trees that shelters a miniaturized fairground. At its heart, a hamster runs inside a tiny ferris wheel, encircled by minuscule wagons and candy stalls. A pixie sits cross-legged in the hall of a tree at the entrance to this realm.

Hi, welcome on in. It's nice to meet you. I'm Minxie. I just got off the phone with Lexi. So you're the sex best. Well, not all of us. It's the two of them. It's Dionysus Night, so.

Oh, so we're supposed to be sex with me? We're also sex pests. No, no, no. We're also sex-pest, right? All right, she pulls out a scroll and starts writing your names down on it. Oh, hey, don't know. This is not. So, on entry, you can go ahead and take yourself an acorn full of wine.

You can also have a little bunch of grapes if you would like to take some. Oh. Oh, that's like full of booze or these grapes? Oh, yeah, they're wine grapes. Oh, yeah. They pop in. your mouth filled with wine. It's like boba, but not. It's like boba for alcoholics. Like those watermelon things people make in the summer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Are children allowed in the Pixie kingdom? Not on Dionysus night. Oh. Do you have a Priapus night? A what? A priapus. He's also one of the gods of lust and... Never mind. Why would we have two of them? I don't know. It seemed naturally if I'll have another wine. Do you have any questions about Pixie Kingdom before you go ahead and come on in? Is the hamster a normal-sized hamster and looks like a cow to us, or is it also shrunk down to the size of a... I'm sorry, I stopped listening to you halfway through what you were saying in your monotone voice.

Can you repeat that to me again? Out of character, is the hamster huge to us because we're pixie-sized? So it's like a dog. It's like fat hamster. It's like, yeah, probably like horse-sized. Is it a shrunken giant hamster? It's like a shrunken giant. It is a hamster that is large enough to run a pixie.

It's a pygmy giant space engine. Yeah, it's a pigmy giant space hamster that then was hit with the red does. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge. Actually, oh yeah, you know, it's very nice. But there is, what are the common questions that get asked? I, Gregor? Yeah, because it's, it's Bacchus night,

are there gonna be a bunch of pixies that turn into leopards and tear us apart because I do love leopardy and I haven't seen it in a while? What the fuck are you talking about, Rico? No, not tonight. Oh. I love leopardy. Yeah, me too. I have to ask,

contractually obligated to let you know that I love unicorns. Do you have anything unicorn related in this kingdom? Look, I'm going to be honest with you. Pixie Kingdom is the best attraction in the entirety of the Witch Lake Honorable.

If there's something unicorn related you want, you're going to find it in Pixie Kingdom. I mean, look at this place. It's filled with Pixies. I'm obligated to be excited about that. Thank you. You don't have to raise your hand, we're not in class. Oh.

If it's Pixie Kingdom, who's the Pixie King or Queen or Monarch? There isn't one. We're all equal here in Pixie Kingdom. Why, how is it a kingdom if it's not a hereditary monarchy? This sounds more like a Pixie commune to me. Well, maybe they're all the king. The witch-lain monarch is the monarch of everything. which late monarch's tax policy

we don't have taxes here in pixie kingdom are you sure I'm never leaving is there perhaps a pixie named taxi oh yeah for sure she gets around so before that's the funniest joke tonight

that's the funniest thing that's happened that's sharp everybody gets around Of course, she has a good taste and name on my side. I must say. Well, before you can enter, you do have to take on your pixie names now that you're all pixies, and we do have to switch out your butterfly wings for your pixie winks. Oh, wow.

These? Yeah, you're going to have to keep them on your person because the moment you leave, you've got to put them back on or else. Put them the bang. I was already going by a taxi, but someone already took that name. Yeah, no, I will assign you your picture. pixie names, don't worry. Oh, I can't just pick one?

I was gonna go with Frosty because, but... Oh, no, we've heard of you twinkered now. There's no X in that. It's no X. Oh, yeah, you can kind of see me hanging out there. Yeah, you really should wear Fish Night Tights that fit you a little better, because I can see, like, a lot of it. I haven't gotten my robe all the way closed. Hold on.

I think I tore. Oh, no. Oh, no. If I do this right. Can you hurry up already? There are people lining up outside. and it's dying this night. How do you guys get this off?

I use my mental mind hand to grab the back and do the like bra trick. And it just snaps open. I feel so free. Oh, hush, mental. It's a little hand crummy. They're all in the bag. I need you each to roll a deal.

for me, please. Oh, I love these. I love going out of the eight. All right, your name is Toad Hop. What the hell's that? It is the greatest name. Toad Hop. I've ever had.

So if I got a re-roll. R-roll, please. Yeah. Oh, you got a one. I got a seven. Fuck. Your puddle mud. Puddle mud.

Yeah, after that. Your bright might. Like rainbow bright. Like a luminous louse? Yeah. It's like one of those pegboards with the little. Yeah. So like a little, like a little miter insect.

Like a little unicorn. If you have a concern, I will let you try again, but it's got to be a valid concern because I don't have names for days. I'm a lot. I rolled a six, but may I have three? No, I think that's fine. Your name was supposed to be Panish. Oh, can I take Pannad?

What, is Pannas for grabs? No, it's been taken now. Oh, but you can be called- Thanks, bye. You can be called cotton candy if you like. Oh, cotton candy. Well, at least mine ends with Y, like an actual pixie. On Toad-hop.

Toad-hop. Or hopper. I forget what it was. Toad hop. Toad hop. I'm gonna have to write these down just one moment. So if you run happy with being called Brightmite, I can give you one other name.

Yeah, it's probably much stupid. Do something else. Can I get all they see the options? Do I got to commit? I will just pick one for you and you have no choice. All right, just lay it up. Fuck-oh. All right, your name is jelly bean starfish.

Oh, that's amazing. That's so much more appropriate. Jelly bean starfish. Oh, God. I mean, I can't wait to say your name all the time. What is the last time we saw starfish? Thank God it was jelly bean and not chocolate. I love jelly beans.

It's all that. It's all that. Why? I feel like a chocolate starfish would be quite a delectable tree. Let's continue. I've forgotten your name, Gideon. I wouldn't mind eating it. His name is puddle mud. Puddle mud.

Puddle mud. Are you sure you don't want a different name? I've got a name, I think, would work perfectly for you. Oh, well, sure. I'm going to call you Dimple. Oh. That's kind of like dumple. Oh, yeah.

Do you shove dumples here? Oh, yeah. If you had on over to the cart towards the back. Oh. It's the dumpal cart. You think, you hear that dimple? I mean, thinks she nameth too much.

That's right. I'm Toad Hop. Yeah. I'm cotton candy. Oh, God. What would be a good nickname for me, you know? You're not going to say. say jelly bean starfish.

No, we're going to say Jelly Bean. Jelly Bean. What about like either jelly bean? Mm-hmm. No, that's what your thing. Yeah.

We're not just like fish. Like, hey, fish. That sounds like kind of a scampy name. Not a jelly bean, starship. Just take it easy. It's starfish. Yeah, it's starfish.

Oh, I wrote down jelly bean starfish. What's a star ship? I don't know what that is. Ask me again on Saturday. No, that's right. Oh, we could call you um, um,

Oh, but yeah, you were asking about dumples. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So you're going to go down the path towards the left, and it's the third Dumpel Door on the right, and it's run by a wizard named Dumbledore. Oh, I bet he loves stretching his legs. Does he make the Dumpels in the...

Oh, yeah, he used a goblet of fire, yeah. You have to put your name in it, to be chosen for a dumpal, but. Oh, is it like a business star? Does he talk very softly? Yeah, anytime you come up, he'll be like, did you put your name in the cup!

And then if you did, he'll say, your dumpal is a good. He sounds like a good friend. I've heard of this. I think he's a member of some sort of a firebird order. Oh, yeah. The Fee Feefe Nix fan club.

Oh, they made a fan club already? Oh, yeah. Oh, I guess, you know, FeeWiles kind of Tommy Wiamies. and maybe it's been like three centuries. Okay, off. Off. Yeah.

Do you think he has a bathroom inside of that door, or do you think he just sort of wands it away? Oh, yeah, it's a very common thing for Wizards to just press to digitation their crap away. What? Is that what you do? I've seen it before. Wait, what?

You've done it. In a pinch? In a pinch, all right? In a pinch, yeah, sure you do it. But, I mean, you try not to. You try to be like a civilized fucking human owner. Finally some honesty, jelly bean starfish. Wait, I can't lie!

Do you remember the wonderful Wisenheimer at the carnival? Are you telling me he was just shitting on the ground and then making it disappear? I mean, more than likely, I can't. Is that why his tent smelled so bad? Why do you think all those customers got pink eye that one time?

My beasties. You sang, oh, Grittle, your beasties, golden martin, and shit everywhere. Yes, he was a real son of a bitch. He was sitting at. everywhere. Deco wasn't wonderful at all. He was a piece of shit.

I mean, it was made more, too. Well, anyway, we're going to go enjoy some duffles. Thank you, uh, Schmexie. It's Minxie, but it's fine. Well, go ahead and enjoy everything. We just knew, we just met Twinkson. Yeah, that's fine. Goodbye. Goodbye.

You know, I forget about it. all those customers who got pink eye. We ran the worst carnival. And we start to make our way to the third door to the left. Do you make your way into the Pixie Kingdom proper? The Pixie Kingdom is a tranquil oasis compared to the rest of the bustling carnival. The air is filled with the aroma of blackberry wine and flower blossoms.

Eight brightly painted doorways are nestled in the bark at the bases of the surrounding trees. Now remember. We're not just here for fun and games, though I will be here for the games and the fun. Oh, me too. We're also here to look out for the individual that we want to speak to. All right. Well, can you just use your like keen goblin nose to, you know, sniff her out?

Last time I did my Spirit Beast magic. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, none of that. Just gobbling stuff, right? What? Just like, I mean, you're still like a little monster guy, right? I mean, you're a monster guy. No, I'm more like a, like a gator guy, you know? What's the difference?

He's more like a Gina guy. We're both from swamp towns. He's like a tiger guy, and you're like a little monster guy. I'm a little, a little fella. I'm like a little fella. No monster fella. I mean, I like monsters. I mean, they'd be quite nice. I was a little monster fella, but I'm a goblin. Very different.

Say, could we cook two meats on one fire by going on the Ferris wheel and perhaps observing the full Pixie Kingdom and seeing if we see any suspicious behavior. I think it's pronounced Harris wheel, first of all, but I mean, we could. New Oz was the Harris wheel. Oh. Harris? Harris.

Yeah, the Harris wheel. Wait, they call it Ferris wheel? They call it Ferris wheel here, yeah. Why would we call it Harris? If there's a joke in here, I'm not getting it. That's just, I mean, oh, maybe it was while you were gone, but Prickle made reference to the Harris Wheel of the carnival. The Gideon engineer.

Yeah. And if we couldn't legally use the word, Ferris wheel is trademark. Is that true? So they paid for the licensing to use the... And so, Jimmy's like, oh, I ain't paying... I ain't paying no inspectors. Also, fuck I pay. Well, good thinking.

I mean, I had to tell you to say that. It was very good thinking. I haven't met a intellectual property that I haven't been able to steal. I mean, talk about enforcement. Who's going to force it if you can just, you know... Fly by that. That's what we called it to Harris Wheel. That's why it didn't really look like a wheel

It was more of like It was more like Oblong Yeah, it was very avant-garde And it's a construction Maybe that's why so many people fell off it and broke their backs I remember their screams as it rolled away

Oh yeah, that was a fun caper And then Gideon's like It only happened like four times And Gideon's like Guy and Zuchs I gotta build another one, Grimmie Yeah, I'll fix that bro And you're like Yeah

Why don't you get through it? Is that what I say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people have you killed? Yeah, well, I mean. No, and oh, and the older parents were like, oh, you gave all my kid's pink heart. And Chris was like, oh, what I do? You need to pay extra for the pinkard.

They're normal regular hours. And congratulations, they are pink now. Amazingly, some people did pay. Oh, no, I couldn't believe it. We make our way to the fucking face. We get the problem. fellas, it was okay, right? We had some fun.

We had some fun times. I mean, it was a bit of a body count. I mean, he didn't kill anyone. He just manslaughtered a few dozen people. Yeah, and some of my creations killed people. Yeah, it was more of criminal negligence. And you can't spell laughter without slaughter, so that seems... Exactly.

So the clowns have come to learn. Was the wonderful Wisenheimer one of the carnies that wrote up against us or did he quit before it? No, I think he died in the gutter before any of that happened. Oh, he did? Yeah, he fell a drink. He just, I think he accidentally drank like wood alcohol and just

dialed us and it. Wasn't what alcohol? I thought it was grain alcohol. Well, no, he thought it was grain alcohol. Uh-huh. You didn't drink what. Sounds like it was my husband. Yeah, that really does.

If I really does sound like old whisbee's whizzy home. You know, you probably put them on the shelf, like, right next to each other. And he probably in a drunken stupid I just picked up the wrong. You know what? You probably manslaughtered.

Oh, no. Yeah. You know, I'm starting to see a theme and all comes from my arminal negligence. I'm just glad he's not a clown. That's all I can say. Can you imagine? Thank you guys.

Wisenheimer was haunting me right now? Oh, God. That would be crazy. That would just be terrible. Before he became Wisenheimer the wizard, he was known as Wisenhunker, the clown. Oh, no. No, no.

That's not a lot of it. And then we got his full resume. Oh, the double station. Oh, Dumbledore Oh, Dumbledore. A Dumbled door I say, calmly. You are standing

outside of the Dumpel station and you see that there is a wizard in half-moon glasses, long beard and long hair. A robe and hat emblazoned with moon and stars very beautifully embellished. A phoenix rests

on a perch behind his back as portraits line the stall, a moving portrait showing wizards of ages past just going about their days as he looks towards you and calmly says, can you just throw me a dump-hole? I would love one. With a goblet of all!

Cotton, candy, here. The goblet glows red for a second and then blue as it flies out and he hands you a gigantic dumple. Oh! It's very hot, thank you. Oh, oh, how good. Take a bite, how good.

Yeah, let us know. Yeah, I don't even know if I want to. It's very clearly a soup dumble, and it is just filled with sloshing warm soup. It feels all over here. It's leaking out quite a bit. There's not a bowl or anything like that. Oh, I'll speak wizard.

It's quite good. I'm gonna pull out my puppet. Hey, be careful with that thing. Okay, it's killed already. Oh, hey! I look around for clowns. Oh, hey, Dumbledo. I love a good pot sticker.

Goes real good with General So's chicken. Matt, I've always wondered, who the heck is General Soe? How does he make such a good chicken? I guess it'll be one of the world's greatest mystery. No, there's a whole story about it. He looks at you and smiles with a twinkle in his eye as he reaches down below the counter and pulls out a puppet of a very greasy looking man with dark black hair. And he starts going, sneak, sneak, snake, snake, sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak, I don't speak, I don't speak wizard. Well, that looks quite nice.

My name is Toad Hop and I'm gonna have to put two P. And the same thing happens, you get your fucking dumpal. Ooh! I think I'm good on this one. Hold on. I'll think of this. That's impressive. Well, I always got room for a mid-afternoon snack.

Dimple. Dimple looking for a dupil. Here you go. You are given your dupil. Coffee. Oh, my God. Oh, the whole thing without swan away. It looks like anaconda style.

Oh, man. How very John Boyd. That was remarkable, all in one go. Oh, that was enough. That was pretty good. I guess on frost. Yeah, that's true. You were a warmer earlier.

You sure you don't want a dumple? No, I'm good. I always get third degree burns on my tongue when I try to eat those things. Oh, yeah. I'm going to pass. You could have a dumpling. they're like very small ones. He's a little aggressive.

I'm not really liking his energy, so I think we'll just move on if you don't mind. Why to do, friend? I love unicorns. We're going to leave. He nods at you and says nobody else. Hey, goodbye. Hey, thanks for the dump.

If you see genitals, son, thanking for the chicken. Sick, sick, zephyr's sick. Sounded like you some genitals. That's pretty funny. Well, let us see now that we've enjoyed. It's, you know, they're not ever as good as you hope they'll be. You know, they're like, okay.

Yeah, that's why I said. And like, you know, the one, you know, it's a little, just this kind of tastes this on the outside. You notice that towards the very middle it was cold? Yeah. It reminded me of home. It was quite good. It was a little bit slimyer than you'd expect. I mean, I like slimy.

It could have used a little bit more leachiness. what happens when you try to buy a dumble from a pixie really he was a wizard he was a little wizard in pixie kingdom really oh yeah anyway let's just go to the trademark to the ferris wheel yes let's do that you make your way to the ferris wheel and you know that happy birthday to you the entire way happy birthday to you oh Do da da da da da da da da da That's public domain We're probably good there, right?

Happy birthday is public domain For well actually But there was a time that it was Yeah and I think someone might have bought it Well Because I don't think they can sing it in movies anymore I think they have to do new happy birthday songs Oh what a night man

It was definitely true that it was copyrighted because that's why they have the birthday song that they do in Futurama That is Oh really? Yeah yeah yeah I know at the very least That's the reason why they did the Let's all have some cake.

What day is today. Which is a better song. It's Frosty's birthday. Oh, thank you. What day for a birthday? I didn't think you'd remember. Let's all have some doubles. I thought you were going to say cake,

and then we're going to take in a sexual direction like we always do. We go to the Ferris wheel. You make your way to the Ferris Wheel, and this part of the Pixie Carnival is actually kind of empty. But the hamster looks incredibly excited as you make your way up towards it. One of the Pixies, Bixie, is hanging out here managing the Carnival and she looks at all of you

are managing the Ferris wheel. Oh, so you came to get on the Ferris wheel you want to ride here? If that's possible, does it require an additional ticket punch or is it free? Oh, no, it's totally free. Everything inside of Pixie Kingdom is free once you get punched in. It's all included, not free.

Oh, no, it's totally free. All right. Because then there's no exchange of funds. We'd like to get on. Yeah, sure. Biscuit's happy to give you a ride. Oh, biscuit. Biscuit?

Yeah, the hamster. Oh, what a cute name. That's a pretty cute name. That's a really cute name. Does he or she like biscuits? I don't know. What does the hamster like? I've never fed it.

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Tell it's a grass or something, right? Do you think biscuit likes bananas? Yeah, maybe. Do you think biscuit would have a really terrible banana allergy and I would regret feeding it a banana? What do you all think? Well, it's more like a spectral monster spirit banana, right? Yeah.

Well, no, it's a real banana delivered to me by a spectral monster. Do you like to dance? Yeah, I'll do, actually. Do you want to dance with me? Yeah, sure. Forever? No, no, no. I got a lot of stuff to do. Going on an adventure, I'll have a...

I guess I don't have any pets or kids, so I'm a bit of a bird flu. I got no responsibilities, but, you know, can't be... So what do you have to do that means it so you can't dance forever? I mean, I gotta walk. I gotta sleep. We kind of have a date with this and after this whole corner of things over. We got to, you know, two grand things and save the work kind of deal, you know what I mean? Forever can just be like 15, 30 minutes, and the answer will be yes, but... dance for 15 to 30 minutes? Uh, yeah, could we do like a flash dance style? Can we do it keep it like 10 or 15?

Why don't we all dance? Yeah, do you guys all wanna dance. Can we do like an 80s montage? I wanna get on the faire as well. Oh, you know what we could do? We could kind of do like a flash mob and get everyone in on it. Yeah, and then we'll film it for YouTube

and it'll be very cringe. And we gotta do like the weird squatting thing, you know? You know what we could do? We gotta dance in unison. Oh, are any one. Werewolves here? No. You know what we could do, which would be really cool.

I mean, it's nowhere near spooky season, but if we dance to Thriller, that could be awesome. That's what I was trying to say. Do we get like a prize for doing this? I'm not sure, but I feel like if we were able to make it work, that you could at least have a really good shot at becoming the witchlight monoc. Oh, that's a good point. I mean, would it make you happy? Oh, my God, it made me really happy. Okay, yeah, we gotta make this carnival happy, okay?

Let's do it. Okay, well, wow, that was way easier than I thought. And you watch as she picks up a conch shell and she speaks into it. Attention everyone in Pixie Kingdom. Dionysus Night is kicking off. Oh, the leop. Anyone who wants to be a part of the Thriller Flash Mob,

please make your way over to the Various Wheel and to Biscuits. Zone here with me Bixie we are gonna go ahead and get ready um costumes supplied by the carnival oh fuck does it oh no we don't have costumes why don't you ride the Ferris wheel first while everyone makes their way over and I'll make sure that we have costumes for the flashmark that's fantastic it's a great idea I appreciate it Bixie well I'm so excited everyone's oh this is gonna be great mr. Lydie's gonna love this you don't say biscuit Nice job.

You're doing great. So you're talking to biscuit? Mm-hmm. Nice job. Thank you so much. I really, really love running the fears wheel. It makes me super, super happy. Do you have bananas?

I've never had bananas before, but I really like acorn. Sometimes I like to have grass. Grass is kind of okay. Sometimes if it rains, it's really good because it's covered in soil, which I love a lot. You guys want to get in? I can go really fast, where you go really slow, depending on how you're feeling about it.

But I really like to go really, really fast, because that's a lot of fun. Sometimes it gets on like that because they get scared. Let's get on! You should talk to a doctor and mention the word diabetes. I get on.

Is this speech coming out of his mouth? Yeah, this is very clearly an Awaken spell cast on a hamster. Oh. All right, well, I mean, he can hook you up with some bananas. Yeah. I mean, if you need a sauce for bananas, you know,

You make your way onto the Ferris wheel and it begins to move and while it does, Biscuit is just chatting away. I really enjoy working at the Pixie Kingdom. It's so much fun here. The Pixies wings move really fast. I get to constantly run in this wheel. I love running in this wheel. I get running this wheel all day long. I hear a lot of stuff, you know, being on this running the Ferris wheel because a lot of people don't talk to me.

A lot of people don't even know that I can speak. So they just sit in these things and they just talk and talk and talk and all of their experiences. And I just sit here and listen. And I listen and I listen and I go round and round and round and round and round. and around and round and around and it's so much fun. And I really like it. Hi, my name's Biscuit, by the way. What's your name?

My name is Morning Frost. Oh, good day, morning, Frost. It's really nice to know you. I'm Biscuit, by the way. My apologies. I'm actually being called Cotton Candy. Oh, hi, Cotein. Hi, Toad Hop.

Yeah, I'm D familiarity. Hi, Dimple. Hi, Dimple. Why to do I'm jelly bean starfish. Oh, Jelly Bean Starfish is a really good name. I can say that over and over and over and over again. Jellybean Starfish, Jelly Bean Starfish, jelly bean starfish, jelly bean starfish, jelly bean starfish. Jelly bean starfish, jelly bean starfish, jelly bean, starfish, jelly bean starfish, jelly

jelly sea jelly and egg Yep. Jeff, jelly,eration, jelly, stop fish, jelly. Stall fish, jelly starfish, jelly, stop fish. Um, that was really amazing. I really like doing that. Do you have any more of that banana? I'm really, really hungry now that I've been singing the jelly bean starfish song for like 15 minutes.

That's all the go. That was a lot of banana. Smile, how fastly you are with those bananas. You use a practice. Biscuit, you say you listen to the other people as they, instead of having this nice conversation that we're enjoying that, we are listening to people as they go around. Oh, yeah, yeah, I listen people all day long. Because they just think, well, I'm here in Bixie Holland. That's just a hamster.

That hamster's not listening to me. Why would that hamster listen to me? It's a hamster. Because they don't say, oh, hi, Biscuit, it's nice to you today, or they don't pet me. Well, the pets will be coming soon. If you could say, what was the strangest or most suspicious or disturbing thing you've heard today out of curiosity? Is there anything that seemed nefarious? Oh, I don't know about nefarious.

I've never met them before. But I was running this thing, like, I don't know, maybe like, 10, 15 minutes ago and there was this really, really cute halfling girl that was sitting on here. I was like, wow, that's a really cute halfling girl. I haven't seen a halfling girl in a long time. She was really nice.

She had pink and her hair was kind of pink, which you don't see often in halflings. What? Was she sad? No. You know, the fact that they're called halflings implies that there must be a halfling. That's ridiculous.

Why would that imply anything, Frost, you know, for being as small as you always, you see a lot of dumb stuff. Hey, that can't good was right. They aren't stupidest one. Yeah. Yeah. Did you happen to get a good look at this happen?

Did she kind of like move around like a jerky bird style motion? You know what I mean? I don't know what a jerky bird would even look like. But what I will say is she was muttering under a breath about how she met four really, really stupid people. And she didn't understand what Mr. Light wants with them at all. and it must be some kind of weird game. It can't be who we're looking for. We're really smart.

Yeah, yeah, no. And we saw Halfengill, too, but she ran away from her betrothed, or would-be betrothed. Oh, you mean kind of like how Palasha ran away from Canalfoot the Mine because he lost his voice, and now their love is doomed to never move past what it is now

and she cries all the time, and she really misses him. I gotta say, that's fair, because she's a mermaid. I gotta say, say, there's not a whole lot of communication amongst these couples in a fay while. That halfling girl sounded just like Candlefoot before I lost his voice. It was really, really weird, but it was kind of nice because I liked Campbell for a lot.

Sometimes he would come here and hang out with me and talk to me, even though he was a mime. I feel like he liked to talk a lot because he couldn't talk a lot when he was a mime. He'd come in and he talked to me and talked to me and we would talk all the time. And he was sitting here, yeah, and he would talk to me and talk to me and I really liked his voice. It was really cool that she was sitting here talking to me because I kind of miss Candlefoot. I have a question. Oh, what? Was Candlefoot, you know, being a mom and all?

Like, was he very welcome on, like, Dionysus Night? You know what I mean? Like on a list or something? Kind of a sexy person, kind of guy. Oh, I don't know about that. I think Candlefoot only had eyes for Palasha. You know, he really loved Palasha. What did he like about her?

What were her favorite assets? Well, he really liked her personality. He thought she was really cool. She had a lot to say, and, you know, she'd been through a lot, and they really kind of, you know, all she ever does to sing, and people just always wanted her to sing, and he kind of felt like all he ever did was mime, and all people ever wanted him to do was mime,

and so they really had a lot that they felt was in common, and they talked, and they really loved each other. It was sweet. People wanted him to mime? Some people enjoy mimes. Well, I don't know if people wanted him to mime, but that's what he was hired to do, so that's what he was supposed to do.

Is it hard to listen in on people's conversations when you're running so fast, you got the Harris wheel moving like a fucking power mixer? I would have the entire time. We all in one of the... Yeah, well, I would say you're in two carts. It's two per cart. Hey biscuit!

Run as best as you can run now! That's funny in that top. That's fucking. Oh, Jesus. The necessary, like, physical comedy, right? That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here. If everyone walks away comfortable,

from this table? We failed the end of the night. Has Thaco the clown been on the ride recently? Daiko doesn't come to this ride. Thacko's kind of a miserable fuck. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that this is a children's carnival. Oh, wait, it's Dionysus Night.

He's a miserable night. Oh, yeah, we hate Faco. It's Thacko. That's what he said. We hate Faco. He's a fucko. It wrong. That's just sort of how he, Tom.

He's just mean. Anytime I've come around him, he's like, shut up, you talk too much. Shut up. Nobody wants to listen to, you biscuit. Wait, where's he? No, no, I'll hang around. That's what I was going to say. Oh, that's what I was going to say.

He wanders around and just listens to people's conversations and stuff. He's awful. He's always trying to get on Mr. Witch and Mr. Light's good side. Do you know if he has any allergies? Food-borne allergens of any kind? Oh, I'll also take felt. I think he's got a peanut allergy. Oh, I'm so glad he said that.

Get the peanut pop guns ready. Oh, wow. He's pulled those out Donkey Kong Jr. Jr. style right away. Grigo's been working on a Diddy Kong cosplay. Quite a long time. Dittie Kong.

My apologies. It's more, you know, also my friend Chunky, he's dead. Uh, this. I actually, I picked up Chunky as peanut pop guns and his quest for Venn. Man, that's. Reminding just a little bit, Biscuit. Did you see where this cute half-ling woman went when she got off? I mean, it's Dionysus night, but...

Oh, the Ferris. I didn't. I wasn't really looking. You guys came up right after. Is Facko a clown? Do you mean Thacko? Thacko the clown? Is Facko a clown of Toy. We know it's a clown.

Do we know that for sure? That's a good question, Grico. What's in the name, as they say? Is that go, the clown? A clown, that's your question, to the hamster. Yes, the clown could be like, oh, it's a tricksy fate, or paradox. It's all wrong. I don't think that Gideon should join us when we confront Paco.

Why? I agree. You're going to touch him, and it's going to be like turning on a blender to full speed without the top on. I'm like, listen, I, you know, no, I don't think that's going to happen. I haven't, oh, what are all these peanuts coming out? That's exactly. Why my hands covered in peanuts? Suddenly, it's not a bees.

You're having the Mickey Mouse. Oh, no, oh, God. You're rubbing your muscles down with peanut oil. Oh, I forgot how I do that. Every day. I love hunger walk fries. I was gonna hug them as a greeting, but I didn't know. Nah, shit, I forgot I was covered in peanut on.

You want some boardwalk fries? They're good. There ain't peanuts. These are fries. You grease yourself up every 15 minutes more frequently than you water that crown. No, no, I water the clown. I mean, the crown. Oh, damn it.

No, you water board the clouds. Which I'm pretty sure as a war crawling. Well, shit. That was a manslaughter, mom. This is good. I know it might be difficult, but can you pause so that when I... He immediately stops. You go to.

Oh! Oh! Got me right in the Joker. Thank you. And I, if I'm at the top point of the heel, I'm gonna look around for a cute halfling woman. Okay, roll an investigation check. Uh, uh.

Ooh. I think I might have to use a twist. Can we help him look around, y'all? He can use a twist, yeah. No, I mean like giving him advantage. I mean, because you have so many twists, I'm gonna say that. I'm feeling twisty.

Yeah, there is no more help in this fucking campaign. I'd like to help him, but I'm looking for any beautiful women, so I'd like to give him disadvantage on the roll. I mean. Are you guys thinking a twist? I'm picking a twist, and that's much better. I'll have a dirty 20 for that purpose. And for the twist, do I roll or do you just wanna start grabbing them?

For your twist, for my twist, I roll for you. Because I'm choosing which ones I want. When I'm 54. That got me jaw, Gideon. It would pop to the other side of your face. That would be really, really hard to do. I'm going to have you roll again. Okay.

I think he wants you to punch you back in the place. It's for the old... 33, we didn't be ready to do that. You want me to run and leap and knee your jaw back in the place. That's the bicycle maneuver. Oh, no. What's your step down? You want to willingly slips the living words and cheer everyday speech.

Oh, classic. You want me to punch? You want me to just like, Do you guys care if I pee, like just sitting right here? I'll take a good minute, yeah, I got a fix Grigo's dog. I assume from the smell you already had. All right, thank you. Come back.

Did you have asparagus for dinner? You have to go again? Did they sell, Senpai here? Jesus. Oh my God. And you look around and I will say that you do see that off in the distance there is clearly a halfling girl with strawberry blonde, leaning closer to pink than blonde hair, actually staring up at the carnival or at the Ferris wheel and noticing you. Do we meet eyes? I would say, yeah, you do meet eyes.

Where we go. The hyper-inicated that we're looking for. It's just down there. Do you see her? I hit my head real hard when we stopped. Just my day and game's saying. You're John. Broken. Do you need healing? I was going to have Gideon.

Punch me in the face. What do you think? It's worked in the past. I don't... I guess I should have some bananas. I'm fine now. I don't pee. Is it very a fucking tantrip? Yeah. No.

No, it's no. It's a level on spell. I'm using literally all my spell spots. That's good. That's good. When we tackle Mr. Witch later, I'm sure he's not going to destroy you horribly. He'll enjoy it.

That's sick, master. We need to get off of this histinet. Why? Because we have to follow Kettle Street. Kettle steam. Is it Kettle Steam or Kettle Steen? I fall as like, oh, I'm Kettle Steem. Oh.

It's Kettle Steam. I thought it's like Frankenstein. Falker steam. Kettle steam. dream very frequently. I think steam is the more natural and obvious choice. I was like a family named Falkl steam. Okay. I thought it was Falkal Stein. A biscuit.

Yeah. How much more time do we have in the roundy... As long as you want, we could have stopped five minutes ago. And you realize you've been on this Ferris wheel for about 15 to 20 minutes. Is there anything else that you could tell us? Anything interesting? What's mentioning? Oh, my favorite color is purple. I really love purple. Green's pretty cool, too.

Okay, cool. I have not had a day off since I started this carnival 47 years ago. What? I really love running the Ferris wheel. My favorite night is definitely Dionysus night, but what comes close is Fright Night. But I do get a little spooked. Ooh, it's right now. Oh, it passed already.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It makes sense the last night, so. And so it's been a lot of fun. I don't like kids. Sometimes they spit on me and they're loud. What? Yeah, I'm with you there. Was it chest of cheeks?

That was a curse. The chest of cheeks come by here? spit on you? I don't know. That chest of cheeks is a bad egg. I've had people drop gum on me. It had to be cut out of my fur. This is starting to get sad. I would say try peanut butter. I hate peanut butter. I have peanut allergy.

They're actually trying to get rid of any. Oh, you know of a jar of peanut butter here. Oh, you do? Yeah. Oh, that's good. Okay. It's an alchemy jug of peanut butter. Where do you get that? You don't carry a giant jar of peanut butter around a few at old times? Yeah. It's more... Frosty and I always keep our emergency peanut butter. Cheers, Gregu. Cheers, Grego.

Cheers. Oh! You can't borrow a peanut, but what are you doing? A peanut butter is a solid. It's just kind of like... You do that. You know, you're trying to scoop with your tongue. No, it's really fatty kind of,

what peanut butter have you been eating? It can be a liquid vegan core. It's delicious. Hell yeah. Well, I guess... Well, I guess... Like drizzle peanut juice. Peanut butter topping.

Yeah, peanut butter topping. You know, peanut spread, perhaps? I like peanut butter. I like peanut butter. spread. So what I meant was more like any kind of interesting gossip that you overheard either today. Oh, the king isn't well.

Dark times lately. Ever since Kingfellow. What? Like your friend, like your friend N.W. My friend N.W. Yeah, the big tree. Northwind. Oh, I've never met

Northwind. Northwind. What? doesn't come over here. Oh, I guess he's probably too big to fit in this tree. Yeah. He's probably the same size as the tree what we're in now. Yeah. Red comes in sees us sometimes. Red and I got in a huge fight, though.

Oh, what happened? Red just doesn't like me. Oh. Why does he like you? It's like a personal beef or? Because I won't stop talking, and every time he tries to beat box, I just talk over him. Oh. Oh, you've got to learn how to cooperate and collaborate.

You need to learn how to stop. collaborate and listen. That's really the best. Red is back with a brand new addition. You really need to, I mean, that's just how you make friends. Something's curving a hold of me tightly. You know, I mean, if it makes you feel better, I accidentally very terribly insulted Red and heard his feelings quite badly.

Oh, he's never going to forgive. She's never going to forgive you. Oh. Well, we should probably get down now if you don't mind just wheeling us, you know. Oh, yeah, sure. You very quickly are forced down to the bottom of the Ferris wheel and you are allowed to exit. Thank you. This is. It was really great meeting you. It was a pleasure to handy into you as well. What?

It was a pleasure to handy in you as well. Oh, please don't do that. I mean, I guess it is Dionysus night. What? He's just around just giving out handies? What the hell are you talking about? I said that it was a pleasure to handian biscuit. Why, you handy biscuit? You hand, and it was a pleasure? Did you do with your mind hand? What are you been doing, Fraus?

I mean, I know it's invisible, but... Handian? Yeah, you can get away with anything on dying nicest, night. You can. You're acting very histin at all of you. What? What the hell is he saying? Oh.

Can you punch... Hey, are you okay? I think I'm dying of onism. Tote Hop is... Dying abonism. Yeah, okay. Well, we can fix this. I scoop up behind Grico and just a giant silhouette, like a silver light pops in my eye across.

As I go, they, we're gonna! Yeah! And just like, cross-chop his jawed out twice. Oh, wow. Please roll a damage. Yeah, don't you worry. Yeah, let me remember what is. I think he's gonna do.

D.M. It's D.M. Yeah, so I'm gonna worry. Yeah. I'm the one worried about this. Grico's dead, this goes dark real fast. Just like that one time, I downed him in combat. He canonically died.

And I want you to roll a D-100, please. He's fast. Wow, Ricko. No, no, no, nine points of damage. Does nine points of damage and immediately your knees smashed together, fusing together as you lose the ability. Yes, that's how that feels. Oh, wow.

Oh, this has never happened before. Hold on, look, it's just so inconvenient. Oh, I'll just catch out. Oh, God, well, I'll just carry them again. Look, have we tried, like, forcefully separating the legs? Why don't you do it? Let's give it a little price. Crocy, my fucking legs.

I wouldn't do that. My fucking legs, frosting. When this has happened to me, I... My fucking legs. Mega wish. I try and separate his legs. You do with a very loud pop, you feel his legs completely separate and break in your hands. We did it!

But you hear this sound. I made a wish. What do I get? Yeah, well, I mean, we actually, I mean, I don't know, I'm physically overcame with a fake curse. And all of a sudden, Grico, you feel your knees separate by force and you look down at yourself. and then you look up at the moon and you realize there was a reason your knees had fused together. It is the full moon on Dionysus Night and you are a wear goblin.

You're looking very fettery. I don't know what that means. It was he bleeding? It was very unwise for you to do that, giddy. Wait, wait, what do you mean? I don't know. Well, I guess he didn't ask for it. I just left him and ripped their knees apart.

But what are you doing? Why are you doing? Put your hands down. What are you doing? maybe after you. Well, this is the list of... I'm aware, rat, as you all know, obviously. Rats.

We're the rats. Has you ever done this before? Is this a normal? I feel you should probably beg as fast as you can. We stop. We cannot. We pray yet not. We're the rats.

Are you? Frost just telling me to kill him. him again? No no, vague. Vig? What fuck are you saying? Like turn them into a vague? Like a vegabble like a vagabble. Turn Gatorply. Use your

swindug tork. And vague. I can't use that on him. I have a, I must feast on supple halfling flesh and cheese. I'm just going Skinner. I'm going to get our

all fours and just like fucking skitter towards Ms. Kettlestein. You do, but you are immediately blocked by a pixie. As Bixie jumps out in front of you and she looks down at you. Oh no, no, no, you made a promise that we were going to have a dance. And she immediately looks at you and she blows pixie dust into your face, a beautiful purple pixie dust. And you are immediately, though you still believe you were

wear rat and you want the taste of halfling blood dancing is far more important to you I'm gonna give you tonight I'm gonna throw you tonight what have you done to me I must fleet feast on flesh and cheese It's the button of my cuts. We're supposed to be dancing. I was worried he was going to go after your flumes, but let's go. Are we all doing it? Is now the time?

Oh, man, I get there. Well, no, I just had to stop him from fleeing. I do have your costume, so you've got to help him get into his. Stay away from me, especially if you're made of cheese. I'll hold his pluz in our back. No, all right, give me his costume. We'll get a minute. Okay, well, his costume was a werewolf, so.

I think it's close. Reasonly, as is. I mean, he's just a goblin. I look nothing like a wolf. I'm very clearly a wear rat. Well, his costume is a werewolf, so here. Okay, well, hey, come here. You got to put this on, all right?

He's just a shaggy. No, come on, get in, all right? You're going to like this. This is going to, you know, it's going to feel nice. I don't know. Get in. Hey, quit doing that. I'm going to hold you.

Grico Stop it Stop it Grab it Grabber You're gonna He's gonna He's gonna

wrestle him To get I'm trying to bite Skl-Scrio Oh wow Roll to attack You can realize Peanut oil

Don't work What do we do He's rolling to attack you Oh okay Roll to attack me I think he's got you It's pretty good He got a 71

Yeah this is Filphe Yalt energy Thank you 20. The 20 net? I'm I activate my chains. I activate my chains.

I've got to get in the eyes. As you come in and I realize you're about to land your vicious wear, rat, your, I don't know, teeth into me, a chain snaps out around your jaw, and instead of clamping it, I just shift you on the frost. two points of damage.

You feel the where that's teeth sink into you. Oh my gosh. You have been bitten by this creature, this thing. Frussey, funer, you shah, more good. How could you do that, Gideon? We're going to squeak him in now. Am I going to have court moms? Am I going to have court moms?

I don't know what the hell you were saying, but I know I didn't want him to bite me now. I mean, I got them. I would say in that, though, you were able to get his costume. on him and he is away. Keep dancing, I mean, it's stopping you. Now I'm trying to feast on humanoid flesh and cheese.

Trussie, join me in Marcus. We're going to squeak in the night. Squee, squeak, we're going to squeak in the night. Squeak, squeak, we're going to squeak in the night. We're going to dry west in the night. We're going to dry west in the night. We're going to dry west in the night. Dry West, drywheres.

Do we all have costumes? Yeah, let me go ahead and Frost. Here's your Dracula costume. His name's not Frost. Oh, yes, they call me Cotton Candy. Oh, I'm sorry, Cotton Candy. I was not updated with your names. But I will take this daytime Dracula outfit.

That's a nighttime Dracula outfit. It's got the cravat and everything. Even fake fangs. You sure it's not Friday night? Well, we're dancing to Thriller. Oh, okay. This is left over from Fright Night's. Yeah, I had to raid the Fright Night closet to find these outfits so we could all dance

to thrill. The Dinezis night outfits are just naked. That's right. You're gonna have costumes for the dance. I forgot to tell you, can you roll a wisdom saving throw, please, at disadvantage? Oh, yes, my pleasure. I'm gonna bite Gideon again. Oh, you as well.

You don't matter, actually, because you've already failed. You don't matter. What the? Wisdom saving throw, you say. 15? I'll take all of a 10. As you don't, as you dawn the costume, you realize that there is a magic to this.

Oh. And that you start to feel the magic of the nighttime Dracula overtake you. Oh. Your voice changes. I'm going to twist it. You become a Dracula in all rights.

I believe's menu. Prosper. What is it? 18. Damn you! I twisted to bite the idiot. Tell me what you rolled on your table. Now you will be the giant rat who doesn't make any of the room.

89. Trying to explain shit that's going on. Like a yappy little dog. Oh, try to bite me. We're gonna squeak him to know. You want to squeak him to know. You want to be. to marry the closest Faye to you, and that's Bixie.

Oh, are we gonna have a nutcracker Rat King situation? So anyway, Ross, you put on the outfit and you feel the, you feel the, I don't even roll. The persona of the Dracula overtake you. And though you know your frost, you feel compelled to play the part of the costume you're wearing. Oh, really getting in the wrong.

roleplay of this. All right, this is all the ones. To suck your blood. All right. So, Greley, here's your costume and she hands you a witch's outfit. It's a sexy witch's outfit. It was clearly made by Leg Avenue. So it's got the fishnet tights and the tiny skirt and the corset.

But it's a witch outfit nonetheless. Apart for the corset, I guess. I need your role wisdom saving throw at disadvantage. please. A bixie. Yeah, what's going on? I don't remember what your name was. 11.

You can call me the rat king. And you would do me a great honor about being my rat queen. Oh yeah, I'm a pixie, so I can't do that, but thanks. 11. You, as you dawn on the outfit, you begin to feel, you begin to feel the outfit overtake you.

You're still crummy. but you want to play this part. You're a witch, a powerful witch, with powers unrivaled by any. Hags, Baba Yaga, they've got nothing on a witch of the woods like you. I replace my top hat with the witch's hat. I get wrinkles and warts and start with the top of the ball.

Well, you're a sexy wig. I don't know why I've been three to eight times my age's entire of corner of my bed. I like how this feels. I'm taking the course of a little bit. What do you think, Gid? Oh, well. You just walking around like this? You look very powerful.

Thank you. Certainly more powerful than you. Well, him or, I mean, really any magic user, especially old Dumbled fellow. How old, how tight are you holding on to me? You let me go. No, I'm holding on you. Pretty tight. How close to coming are you?

Can you? No, I'm, yeah, I'm standing right next to Crummy. He's very close to Crummy. I'm spreading my curse to Crummy. And you would. That's very much like it. Oh. That'll be in 20.

That'll hit. Two points of damage. You dead who attack the powerful witch of the woods? Hey, quit smacking. Now we're on a rat, ratch, rach. The wrist shooting an el just blast in his face. Ah! If you miss, it hits me.

11. No. I dodge into Gideon's arms. Well, the good thing is it missed you, so it wouldn't hit Gideon since you're in his arms. Oh. Gotcha there. You really want to be hit by him?

No. No. And that. You hit Gideon with it. I'll give you a taste of my magic if you know what I mean. I don't have to punish them. They want to be punished. Oh, these are detainz.

They're massacists. 11 points of damage. 11 points of damage. As Grico leaps into my arms, hey, no worry, but you gotta stop. I scamper away. What do you made me do? Are you actually in time?

I'm done. I fall over again. It is who? I knew it. It is you. It is your inner wear a rat coming out, except your fate. We will all be rats and will also enjoy. You would all be invited to my wedding with this beautiful rat queen, Bixie.

I'm not going to marry you. I mean, come on, please. Who's going to be my simpleton millionaire? You watch as Bixie flies over to Gideon and slaps him on the face. Cosses a little bit of tulip water into your face. and you do come to consciousness. If you're not, I am going to assist with the medicine. Let me take a look. I will give him a manuel.

And I reach down and I bite into his neck. Oh, Frosty. Are we taking turns? You have fangs, so I will allow it. Oh, terrific. I'll say an advantage because he's laying prone. Oh, that was two. so whatever, 17 plus something. I don't know what your AC is.

Yeah, that hits. That hits, yeah. I suck one blood. Mmm. Blah. Blah. Blah. I'm trying to finish him off and just have a taste.

Oh, both. Finish me. I already finished him off. Oh, that's right. Bliss. This blood on the air, come, my rat, my swarm of rats. I'll leap forward and try to bite into Gideon as well.

Yes, you can. Okay, we're just gonna eat Gideon. I'm far away from being permanently. Carry on. Little hit. Two damage. It is then that she flies over and smacks you awake. You need to put your costume on, dimples.

Yeah. Yeah, I am. Have some of my powerful witches brew. Oh, powerful witches brew. Screezy. No, no, no, just open them out. Let's open them out. That's just whiskey.

That's probably a help. Oh, yeah. Oh, that'll wake you up. Oh, trust you. Can you put your costume on please so you can please get on with this dance? Sorry, my friend has just killed me, you know. I mean, cotton candy. And she throws the costume at you, and it is clearly a Himbo Frankenstein costume.

I go to catch it in its sales right between my... I bend over and pick it up. You go to catch it. I'm going to catch it like this. and it still eats my fingers and then over my head. Why does I feel like a deep cut? So much has happened in the last 10 hours. You do, and it is the equivalent

to a Frankenstein costume. You do, and it is the equivalent to a Frankenstein costume. I love you, Laura Bailey. I do, but it is not time for the song right now. Tom, shut up! Tom's sister, shut the fuck up. It's Thomason.

Thomasine. Tomicina. It is a Himbo Frankenstein costume. Think Frankenstein mixed with Rocky from Rocky Horror Picture Show. I don't know there's a character named Rocky. Yeah, he's basically just a really buff guy and a gold speedo. I put on my gold speedo. It's a green speedo.

I put on my green speedo. And you have bolts. And bolts and that's it. Oh, wow, you looked apart of my minion. Here's my old pal Frankenstein. I need you to rule of wisdom saving threat disadvantage. You have been reborn as a wear rat. I will name you Clongo.

Join me, Clungo. Well, okay, yeah, 12. Yeah, so you fail. You feel them. Yes, you pull on your green speedo and place your bolts on your neck. You are overtaken by the magic of this costume. Though you know you are Gideon,

you feel compelled to play the part of Himbo Frankenstein. And that personality overtakes. your own. My latest brew and I need a eye of rat, two of them actually. So if you wouldn't mind fission into Clungo.

Actually, I'm aware of that. It's all the same. The distinction is irrelevant. Together we must dance. Clungle hunts right. It's just foreshadowing. some sort of the mountain Oberyn Martel situation. I think the other pins a rat to the ground.

Squee! Clems! Clems! The girl in the eyes. You murdered here! You did other things that I can't say on Twins. Uh, duh, weird jumpy rat. Uh, I removed the other one of the other.

their wear hats. Oh, and with more death is also the death of the writing quality on the show. How could you? Oh man, that was, you know, that was really gonna get ruined. All right, so now that you bring your costumes, are you ready to perform this stupid dance

to see if we gain the favor of Mr. Like, because I'm really regretting making this bigsy deal with you. Oh. Klunga will dance stupid lives. We must all quorum. My cauldron. Oh, yes. And you begin to notice that there are about 40 people around you

that are all wearing costumes of varying horrible creatures that have been pulled from the costume for fright, the costume closet for Fright Night. I need you all to roll performance checks. We're doing a group performance check to see how well this goes. G-D-D-Dens with me, children of the court. I am returned.

It turns out you were just dealing with spaghetti brains and peeled graves for horrible. Let me ask you. Fetch me some cheese. Our hunger for cheese flesh. Do I have to listen to him? What is he asking for? Fets me a cheese golem, so I may feast.

He is like a cheese golem. A golom made of cheese. Fetched. Okay. Can you tell me what you've rolled? Oh. For what? Oh.

Performance check for the dance. 24. Eight. I'm going to twist. Just. Yeah, that's a natural 20. That's right. Roll a D-100 for me.

I'll also twist. Seventy-four. Rolled D-100 for me. Well, you twist again. Twist twice. Oh, okay. You gain the beauty of the gods as long as you look, as long as you view yourself in a mirror each day.

If not your beauty will corrupt into necrotic horror. I am truly the rat king. Oh, Bixie! See? Squeak, squeak. Come, my little plague rat, do not be so good. Let us dine on the fanciest cheeses together.

You know, oddly enough, you're looking mighty fine. I am the handsomest wearerat in all of Goblin Tobia. Feeling a strange need to put my face on your face. Well, don't suppress our need. We are truly aware of our chaperole. Oh, my yobo's a heaven. Allow me to spread my curse to you. Just a nibble.

I feel almost compelled to do this. Let's go behind this tree. Out of sight and behind the dark black curtain. As long as it's not a palm tree. This is why he gives an eight in the also scene. And she goes, she goes, with you behind the nearest tree and you hear what it sounds when a pixie climaxes. So what did you get?

It just sounds like, oh, er. 67 for the first one. 607. Hey, listen. Hey, listen. Yeah, that's what it sounds like, oh, ow, oh. Can you re-roll?

34. Thank you for being prepared. 200. You got a 200? No, I'm kidding. Oh, yeah. If you get a 200, the case buds in your mouth swap places with your asshole.

You don't want that. You now believe that you are part cat, and you slip meows into everything that you say. My next one is 30, I think. Oh, you had to roll twice? Yeah. Oh, geez. Do the asshole.

There's a matrix. This is a 20. That's a 20? Oh, 20 then. 20. Oh, 20. Oh. I don't know.

Trees, great. No, I'm gonna have you roll another one. Oh, tweet straight. Buh. 74. BOOX. I just chucked books at you. Yeah, booze.

That's just not fair because you're colorblind. Can you do it again? 41. It's coming up a lot tonight. We've gotten like 83. You begin to bleed profusely from your mouth. You got the asshole thing. asshole thing.

How do you know about my boyfriend? I didn't know you had in Pearl Heard's, kid. Poor gut hair. Klungo has been putting off coronoscopy too long. Not only enough and now his bleeding her baby. It's the result of the most matrix. The Furnudiation. What?

What? You retire from wife. When we started this campaign, Nicky was like, I think that it might be like three or four sessions while you guys are at the carnival. I hope you can handle this. Yeah. Session.

So you all passed on your performance checks and you do perform a beautiful flash mob to Thriller. Oh yeah. And you, I know, all of this is happening, right? All of this is happening. So someone in the crowd's like, wow, Dianice is nice, pretty fucking cool. Yeah, and exactly right.

And you do hear the sound of the calliope get even louder as you hear cheers and applause over the rest of the carnival. You're not quite sure why what has caused this commotion, but all of the pixies begin to clap and the tracker, the happy tracker goes up by one. Hey. Well, we're back at baseline, fellas. It is at this point that Bixie,

Bixie looks to all of you. She is sweating and half naked as she clings to Grico's side. Which half? The top half. Okay. He's clothed. That's how you do. Yeah.

And she clings to Grico's side and, oh, yeah, well, you all was dancing. There was someone that wanted to have an audience with you. So if you could step over into it. this pixie hot with me for a minute, I figured we could use a little privacy. Do we get me taffy before this happened? No, all of the candy stripe of pixies are busy at the moment.

Is anyone here? I forgot I didn't have to do my rat voice. Was it good for you too? No, but you know, you're beautiful, so who cares? I hear that a lot. To me, it was like a friend. Fine breeze, perhaps a gourgonzola. When I'm gonna hear you're talking about cheese.

Yeah, maybe. So do you guys wanna go ahead and go inside of this house? I will attempt to turn into a bat, but really I'm just flapping my cake. Canchocula, you are an ordained minister in the state of Prismere, are you not? You are suddenly dressed like one. Diabetes!

Ugh! Ha! Ha! Conjucula, my dearest and nerdish friend. Yes, yes. Oh, boo. I am the rat king, as you know. I'm reintroducing myself, my oldest friend.

You must marry me and my bride. Oh, I thought you were gonna stop at just me. That would be fine. That would be fine. I'm happy to... No, I'm committed to my lovely patrol. I'd be happy to court you. I had never thought I was going to be a wife. You're going to be the rat queen.

I mean, I never thought I was going to be a wife, let alone a queen. You ask me to marry you again? Yes. Yes. It's all good. Our lives are going to be very rat themed. That's fine. Where they should be hitting me? You're just incredibly beautiful, so all right.

We're going to eat much cheese. We're going to open up a very fancy French restaurant and serve everything but French dressing. I hate French dressing. Okay, so when are we having the ceremony? Do I have time to invite my family and my friends? Yes, but tell them that I am the giant reps that makes all of the rooms. Okay, well, I'm going to go ahead and open the door for you.

You can go in and talk to the person who's requested an audience with you and I'll go let the rest of the pictures know that we're getting married. Okay, gather your family and your friends. And tell them, that they can sit where they like. There are no sides. We are all one family. Yeah, sure.

I'll tell him that. All right. See you later. My oldest friends, I forgot the most important... Hey, Vixie Dix. And she flies away. I forgot the most important part of a marriage. Our hashtag.

It will be important for all of the photo booths genanagan. with all of the cardboard cut-out sheet slices of cheese. This is too real. I'm cringing internally, so let us just have our audience. I lead everyone with my cape, and I cascade them into the door.

And you do. As you walk in, you're immediately forced into your mouth as a piece of taffy. Oh. Thank you. Oh, fuck. Thank you.

And as you look around, door shuts and once again you are standing in front of a pink-haired halfling that looks up at you and says this is absolutely ridiculous how the hell are we supposed to get anything done with you complete imbeciles how are you not being affected by these waves of magic have you because I have two brain cells surrupted no it's not it's not brain cells they are we being targeted, there's something happening here. Look what I'm dressed in. I look like a...

You willingly put on pixie garb. Yes, because at the time it made perfect sense. Why would you agree to anything with a pixie? At the time, it made perfect sense. No! So are you saying we say no to everything? I'm saying you need to think about things. No, I think you're right, although I do think the leather corset look is kind of, you know,

sharp on me. Yeah, and I feel like hard to do. I just dodged a crossbow boat. No, I'm pretty sure that you're betrothed to be married to a pixie that thinks that you're gonna rat thing like. Yes, good luck with that one. You've made a pixie deal. But you haven't taught the night yet, right?

It doesn't matter, he's made the deal. He will be married to a pixie. What about that means? Whether he was in his right or wrong mind at the time is irrelevant. He will marry that pixie. He didn't sign anything. He doesn't have to.

He's dealing with the fay. Well, but if he believed that he was a rat king led a king of rats. And now he is required to make sure that she is a rat queen. But what if he was of a different, you know, he was like a different person. It is irrelevant, this is what I'm talking about.

How can't get married, guys? How are you supposed to go into Prismia? How are you supposed to get, you can't even under the carnival. I don't even have a job. Not a real, how can I afford having a bunch of rat children? I need you to sit down,

we will deal with your marriage afterwards. I sit down on you. I have something to tell you. you about Mr. Witch and Mr. Light. Oh, yeah. I put my top hat back on. I have decided that, and I hate to say this, you might be my only hope.

Which means I have less than one hope for this to resolve itself. But I will do anything to protect Sabilner. Okay. Is that Matt? Well, less than one, but... The last time I was outside of the wagon. I'll take it later. I heard Mr. Witch and Mr. Light say something. they were communicating to each other

and I heard them say that is where we'll end the session. Wait, so they said that's where we'll end the session. That's a very strange thing for them to say. Wow, yeah, why do you think they said that? Do you think they were playing Dungeons and Dragons? Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventra's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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