Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 12 | Tunnel of Terror

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

The gang's first dark ride takes an even darker turn...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/GCS70cK_dgs?si=VTjDukxEl09cDgsV

Oh, hello everyone. Welcome to Legends of Aventress. My name is Grico Grimgrin, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witch Light. Here's what happened last time. I overheard Mr. Witch and Mr. Light in their wagons. Shortly after a conversation that I had with them, where I was pleading to learn more about Prismere, they claim they know nothing,

but what I heard proves otherwise. We agreed to this pact. Our hands were forced, but our eyes were open. We let the hourglass coven take care. what it wants, and in return, we stay in business. This hourglass coven, I've been doing what I can around the carnival to find out more, but no one will say anything. Somewhere in this carnival is the entrance to Prismere.

The only opportunity is to steal one of the items during the crowning of the Witchlight model. Oh, Mr. Witch and Mr. Linone a shadow fell carnival? They did, yes. We have got such a plan. Oh, we're going to win you. I'm a sad that you can't follow. Well, it was lovely meeting you. You have a nice night now.

And you watch as she turns out as the door and leaves. What could raise the mood greater than a wedding? Everyone likes a wedding until the pigeons explode from too much rice. What you see is that you are now surrounded by a bunch of giggling pixies. All of them wearing sashes around there, around there, around. around their necks that say, um, bride's pixie. One of them, one of them says pixie bride. We're gonna do the wedding right before the crowning

of the witch-lake morn. It's gonna be amazing. Pinecone the pug is now exclusively yours for the next bit of time. You got beat by four year olds. Your dick sucked. Your dick sacked. And that is where we'll end this session.

Last time on Once Upon a Witchlight Fuck you, Neal! Stripled by a pug! And I'm riding the pug. You done? The party met inside of a pixie house, where they met with a Kenku that has been terrorizing the Witchlight Carnival. They learned some important information and decided that they were actually going to help this Kenku

and attempt to steal one of the... items from Mr. Witch or Mr. Light in the hopes of getting the information that they needed about Prismere. Now learning that there are two carnivals, in fact, that are somehow tied together. More mystery has been, has begun to unfold around them. With the new information that they've obtained, they step out into the Pixie Kingdom to find that not only is Grico still engaged to be wed, but that they have been, that they have been, that they have been Volun told to perform their very own drag show immediately before the crowning of the witchlight monarch.

They will be expected to have their own performances ready, their own drag names, and they've even been given access to a special costume coffer to procure the perfect outfit for their respective drag queens. In the meantime, they are able to continue to enjoy the carnival. There are still two hours left before they need to make their way towards the big top extravaganza and perform their show.

Mr. Witch and Mr. Light will be in attendance for. It is after this that they make their way to the circular enclosure in the middle of Pixie Kingdom to ride the Unipug, the Unicorn Pug, Pine Cone. Atop the pug, Pine Cone

runs in circles. They use this as an opportunity to talk for mere moments before the chaotic Faye energies turns them on each other. Grico, believing Frost to be no longer Frost, but his old college friend Neil, the magic's and maybe just Grico's sheer force of belief convinces Frost that maybe he really isn't Frost either. Maybe he is Neil.

A fight ensues, and they're thrown from Pine Cone's back as they tumble to the ground enmeshed in each other as they battle it out. the fight for Frost. Kremi is enjoying a ride upon Pine Codes back, loving unicorns and pugs all the same. He is in his happy place. Gideon riding behind him.

And it is here that we start the session. As Pine Cone runs and runs and runs and circles around this enclosure, Cremie pays absolutely no attention to the fight going off to the side between Neil Frost and Grico. And he doesn't notice as Gideon loses, loses control of the reins that he's holding at his seat.

And he begins to slip. Pine Cone makes a turn and seems to notice the fight going on between these two friends and stops abruptly to meet at him with a slagery, wet tongue. You were the worst. you know, wait, is he looking at us. No, no, pine cone, ignore them. Come on, keep going.

Get go. As this happens, you will have time for RP in a second. And as this happens, as pine cone slams to an abrupt halt, Gideon is flown from the back of pine cone and slams into a tree knocked completely unconscious. It is with very quick movements that a group of five candy striper pixies makes their way to him and begins to attach him to a stretcher. Kremi is completely absorbed with pine cone and trying to get pine cone to stop licking his friends.

Neil and Grico are embroiled in a fight. No one seems to notice that their friend Gideon is completely unconscious of being taken away to some unknown place. And that is the easiest way I can get on this session. I'm always saying. Oh, you knew we would die together. Guys, can you leave? Can you like you get off the truck, please?

Fellis, come I, gosh, man. Pine cone is just licking and licking and licking at you. Do you think, pine cone. It all starts scratching him behind the ears. Pine cone immediately stops licking and starts moving his head back and forth and leaning into your hand. His tail is just wagging. Oh, good boy. Wagging and wagging.

You like that, don't you? All right, fellas. Roll an animal handling check. I'll say at advantage because you were very much enjoying this. Pine cone's going to give us some taffy. 17. Oh, yeah. Pine cone normally only responds to pixies.

And this is something that you were informed about. But pine cone seems to be really taking to you. And he seems to be listening to you very well. And so you feel like at least for the foreseeable future, Pine cone would listen to your commands. All right, buddy. That's enough of that, right? Let's just keep going around.

Just keep going on that. Come up, let's go. Pinecon responds and continues to run and make circles. Ehow! And I'm going to take my tongue that off and fly it around. I'm going to go as fast as he can just to sort of feel away. And he does. He is, Pinecone has the zoos.

And he is going as fast. He runs in circles one way and then quickly spins around the other way, and then the other way, and then the other way, and then the other way. And then the other way. And he just won't stop. I feel like Pinecone being as big as, he is relatively, that when he's licking me, it's like, what is it, is it answer a bugs like for the raindrops?

Yeah, no, it's exactly like. And it's like, ah, fuck, ah! And I'm like getting just flown across, slammed into the fence. Ah! Very hurt. And I'm just completely like, as if I just was completely drenched in like a slime mountain. Yeah. Neal.

Neal. That really hurt. And I need you both to roll D-100s because you are talking so much during my announcements. Or my last time on. I'm using two dreads. You did this two ones. Well, I'm about to do even more to you. Oh, fuck.

75. Actually, I don't need you to roll D-100s. I'm just going to generate things for you. That's how this works. Okay. Well, give me a 75. Grico, all of your teeth fall out. B.

What campaign is this? What campaign is this? Oh, God. I'm not even there. You're seeing it. Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

Oh. Am I'm not for good. Everybody is false a good. Why are you talking to your needle? Your eyeballs are replaced with new faces. So if this is, have you seen that meme of Hulk Hogan with like multiple Hulkogan? You have an additional frost face in each eyeball. That's a nightmare.

And each one has two eyes and like two mouths. You have four mouths. I'd say beans. Bees. Beams, beans, beans, bean, bean, beans. I don't know how to repeat this. I pass out. I'm just so horrified.

And also extremely hot. So like the, I try to open my eyes and instead you see the frost faces and they're just screaming. I'm choking on the sharp goblin teeth in my esophics. I look over and I see Neal with two frost eyes. Because I'm presuming that he's Neil, but his eyeballs are still frost's face. Yes. So I see my dead friends growing out of his eyeballs while choking on my own sharp goblin teeth. What happening to me?

I feel everything. Oh no, I'm marrying Katty, Kattyard from Batman Returns. You know, she had her death scene, Tali Al Ghoul's death scene. Look it up, it's really funny. Wow. In Batman? Now that returns, Batman, the Dark Nighter Rise. Oh.

She's like, oh, yes, my father's plan. Literally. Literally. Go look it up. So anyway, that's what I do. I go, oh my God! I'm just screaming and blubbering. What do you think, Gid?

They're going to be okay, right? Let's just keep going. Mind you home, doesn't it? This is fun, right, Gid? Hey, Gid? I'll look back. Kid? Roll a perception check at disadvantage.

Well, it's a natural one. I'm going to roll a second. time. Can I get two ones in a row? A five. So yeah. You look back and you see Gideon nowhere. You look around as much as you can with how quickly Pinecone is running around this track, and you see no signs of Gideon. For all, you can tell, Gideon dismounted when Pine Cone had stopped to lick Neil and Grico and took off. Where the hell is that guy? Probably met some pixie. All right, come on, Pine Cone. Let's go see what they're up to.

And I'm going to drop Pine Cone up to them. If he'll let me. I'm like holding out to his collar. Yeah, you have control over Pine Cone for the time being. Leather. My name is Neil and I'm very hurt. Your name's not me. What the fuck?

Oh my God! I'm in a lot of pain in my eyes. Gringo, you're talking. I want to reach in the Giro's mouth and just pull out like a hand. Oh! I just mix it with blood. Oh my God. And pug slobber.

What happened? Someone in chat said, we have edge of midnight at home. That's not being funny. Did you do this? I spit up another two. Come on, fellas. Gid's missing. I mean, he's probably fine, but

can you guys just get up, please? Hey, sir. You don't know my name? No, my name is Neil. Your name's not Neil. It's Frost. And Grigow is my sworn enemy. And my eyes are cats for some reason.

Yeah, it's fucking over vibe. I don't know where I am. I'm scared. hurt. And your name's Neil. Yes. And why is Grico your nemesis? We were in roommates

in college. We never get along. Grickon never went to college. He went to community college. Oh. For a semester. You would wake up and do Adderall and then take LFD all night and then wake up and do Atarol and you have five days in a row.

You really hurt himself? Do you have roommates in community college? What do you need? Medical. Do you look like visibly wounded? Yes. Yeah, I look terrible. Do I look like Frost and I just do my meal?

Yes, you just won't hear you. Okay, so I've got a cat face with two cat faces. Yeah, yeah, cat faces with two cat faces. Yeah, no, but I got flung hard. I'm like on the edge of death. Hey, hey, hey, Grico, Grico, can you give me a banana too, please? Come on, just being dramatic.

Do your thing, summon the gorilla guy, plays bongos, and get a big old bunch of bananas. Frost needs one. I mean, Neil needs one. No, never help, Neal. Oh, no, no, no. Too light. Flock.

Neil fucking sucks. I do not, Crickon. His Marshal, the scattering deck was bad and cheap. I was so good at that game. I've got all the cards. It's worth a lot of money. Your voice is like an electron piece on a chalkboard. Grickle, I don't think you understand.

This is not Neil. This is your best friend. Frost. Remember Frost? Please don't bring the table. I'm watching it like, literally bed in. Frosty died

in the swamp. No, it didn't. I'm right here, Grico. I pass out again. All right, Pine Coom, let's deal with this. I'm going to pick up Grico and I'm going to throw him on Pinecone. I'm going to pick up Frost.

If I get, uh, oh, you like he does this. And I try, I try to get frost on Yeah, roll a strength check to see. This is not my morning Frost character sheet. It's a good question. Get out of my character sheet. 15.

Pretty good, actually. Oh yeah, no, you're able to get, you're distracted a few times as Frost's eyes flutter open and you just see the two cat faces staring back at you. I love beans. Do you have brains? But it's not enough to deter you from your mission and you are able to get both Frost and Grico on the back of Pine Cone.

All right, let's find some Toffee. Come on, Pine Cone. Please do this, buddy. And I'm going to grab his collar, and I'll sort of throw it, and I'm going to try to lead him to any pixie that I see that might have Taffy. Rule of perception check.

And I'll say because you're a stride Pine Cone, and you have the advantage of height, I will let you do it at advantage. Oh, that's pretty good. 19. Oh, easily. You don't see, you do see a small medical booth. And you can see that there is one single candy striper pixie,

and she has a little first aid kit, a cosplay repair kit, and a hot glue gun. And she's just sitting behind it on her, on her Rocky Tokey. Help. I'm gonna try to take Pine Cone. I don't know if it's out of the bounds of his track, but I'm just gonna stay on Pinecone.

It's out of the bounds of his track, but nobody, because you are the groom and the groomsman's party, and Pine Cone is equipped with all of the, the bardings for the wedding, nobody stops you. You actually have people clapping and cheering as you're making your way through the throng of people.

Somebody just fits! runs through it. He does just run through it. First keep. Bath at him. Yeah. And then he breaks. Yeah. Yeah. Occasionally someone make a noise and he'll turn his head

and he'll start barking at them. Throwing a medicine ball at a gate. But you are able to make your way over. Let's go. And there is a Candy Striper Pixie who is just sitting behind the sitting behind the little booth. Can we get two taffies, please?

You're sure you only need two? Could we get like 10? If you got extra, I mean, I don't know what good that hot glue guns are doing at this place, but I mean, if you got extra taffies... Oh, you know, if people are going on rides and stuff and they rip their butterfly wings, we cannot glue them back together. That's a good point. Yep.

My name is Cremant LeCrew. Hi, I'm Minxie. It's nice to meet you. I love unicorn. It's a pleasure to meet you, and my friends are... I think they're in need of medical attention. It looks like it, but I don't know if it's some sort of... My name is Neil.

I don't know where I am, but I've got this really cool foil card. Holy shit, you've got cats in your face. My fucking eyes. She flies up and she drops a taffy into each of your mouth. Oh, and like the teeth you have don't disappear. No, the teeth you have don't disappear. Grico is trying to eat the tapy. Oh, strawberry.

But he has no teeth, and so it is nearly impossible to chew. And eventually has to swallow it whole. Get it down. And as he does, you watch as his gums rip open, and new teeth begin to now. It's horrifying, painful. Oh, oh. Strawberry.

It's like, fucking, oh. No, no. No, it's cherry. No, it's cherry berry? Oh, no. No, a note of plural, it's cherries, berries. It's my favorite. How did you know?

Where am I? One more question. Yeah. Have you seen a big red guy around here? I mean, I guess big relatively, you know, normally when he's normal size, he's real big. But, you know, he's got two little horns, the Fajunasi, got little wings, pink shirt, says Cake Chad.

Oh, you're talking about cake chat? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Real, that's real sad about that guy. What is? What do you mean? Is it cake sad? Yeah, actually it is kind of cake sad.

I hope he makes it. Why? Are you fucking kidding me? He's one of the strongest people I know. Is this some kind of sick fucking joke? He was thrown from the back of pine cone. He's currently in a coma. They have comas here?

You can't just give him some taffy? We tried. We had three pixies rubbing his neck trying to get the taffies down. She's still unconscious. Oh, my gosh. We're taking him to the emergency pixie room. And you're sure the pixies were rubbing his neck?

I was going to say, and if it was the other thing, he would have been wrought up. I want to try rubbing something else. Like, I promise. Just thinking and hypotheticals. Yeah, no, we had to, we're taking him to the hospital. Is there a hospital here? at the carnival, yeah. Oh.

Oh, like a hospital, not really a hospital. What? More like a medical tent. We had one of those. Wait a minute. And she points up and you see that nestled in the boughs of this gigantic tree, there is a pixie village.

And you can see little shopping centers and other pixies flying around. And in the very, towards the very center, you see what looks to be a very small medical center. Oh. Oh, that's a clinic. So he's just right up there. Yeah.

And he's in the comb. Yeah, he probably won't make it. The outlook is not good. Oh, it's wrong next to the 24-hour etchings. We need to go pick up our etchings. What do you mean? We can just cue two birds with one stone, is all I'm saying, when we get Gideon.

It comes out of skirm. We should probably check on him and talk to the pixie doctor. Unfortunately, we don't allow visitors. Oh. And I think maybe for the sake of the plot, must get in all with this. We just ask, so how much longer do you think he needs? I don't know.

Oh, exactly long enough? I'm thinking exactly long enough. The thing is probably about two hours or so, but it's going to feel like a couple of weeks. Wow. I mean, that's sort of how time works and say, wow, right? Well, certainly, in this carnival. That is if he makes it through, you know,

Oh, I feel like Gideon, you know, if there's anyone that's resilent, you know, it's Gideon. Anyone is that, that's what? Gideon's the most resilient guy that I know. We took him to the Pixie Doctor, Dr. Fixie, and hopefully he'll be able to fix him right up. Is Dr. Fixie good at his work? Very good at his work. He's doing an experimental procedure. Why do you assume it was his work, Frosty?

Because I'm suddenly a doctor. No, because I said it. I said him. I got a... I got a... Anyways, it's pronounced resilient. What? Resilient.

Resolent? Re? Rhe? Ziff? Lee? Mm-hmm. It. Resilient.

Rizolent. You sure you gave them enough taffy. I'm going to wait until you guys leave, and then I'm going to do it. He's very resumed. You have more tapping? Oh, no, I'm sorry. We're all out. You only had the two pieces. I feel like as soon as I leave here,

I'm going to experience some sort of nightmare that would give any normal person a PTSD for the rest of their life. It's possible. Anything can happen at the Witchlight Carnival. Well, if that happens, we can take me to Dr. Fixie. Well, now we know that there's a whole fucking village of that. That's pretty cool.

Yeah, you're not well. welcome in there. No, I mean, you know, none taken. It's for pixies only. I kind of get it. We're not real of pixies and this is sort of a pixie thing. You're just hanging out in Pixie Kingdom. You're just going to visit us here. That's right. I mean, look at the size of these trees. They're like little mini trees. Is there a Dionysus night theme at the strip mall in the tree? We don't have a strip mall in Pixie Kingdom. Oh. Just a regular mall perhaps? Yeah. Oh. Kind of go to Pixie mall. Are non-pixies allowed in pixie mall?

Sorry, it's only a pixie. Oh, gosh. You know how long it's been since I've been to? It's called the Star Court Mall. Oh. That would have been nice. Well, would you recommend three humanoid such as ourselves,

non-Pixie folk, let's say, do to while away the Gideonless hours? I don't think you could enjoy the rest of the like Carnival if you wanted. Yeah, we're not dumb, fellows. I mean, have we done everything we need to and Pixie Kingdom? Yeah, I mean, you could play hide and go seek if you want.

Hiding Go Seek? Yeah. Can I do it while riding Pinecone? No. I think you need to shake a bar to pawncombe. No, don't make me do it. Well, do you all have like plushies of pinecone? Oh!

Yeah, you can buy one over at the plushy stand. Is that you kidding me? me? Those exist? Yeah? Oh, wait, come on, let's go. How much gold does it cost? Okay, goodbye. Oh, goodbye.

You've been very helpful. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Oh, yeah, my name's Minxie. It's been a pleasure, Minxie. I hope you get more taffy soon. Oh yeah, I'm sure that once they're done, getting your friend all settled up in at the hospital, and Dr. Fixy does what he needs to do to get him,

hopefully unconscious again, they'll bring down another sack of taffy. No. Come on fellas, let's go! I want to write up to the plushy vendor. Thank you. Yeah, you quickly look around and you're easily able to see that there is a souvenir booth, which is there are some t-shirts. I got this t-shirt at Pixie Kingdom.

I'm with Stupid. I feel like we eat one of each, don't you think? I mean, just to kind of remember the... And then there are a few. There are a few plushies of pine cone. It looks like they sell a lot of these. There are about three left for the day. How much did they cost?

One gold apiece. Oh, look, the sign says one gold a piece. That's not bad. Didn't Gideon have all of gold? Or are we out of gold? Oh, my God. Does someone actually remind me? Did Gideon actually have all of our gold?

I mean, I have the back of all of my gold. I mean, I have the back of old. Oh, no, that's right. You know you took it from Gideon. He had it, and then you took it. Because he's what you know. Oh, Gary, and you're an idiot. Idiot.

Guys, I'm feeling awful sad that we aren't allowed in the Star Court Mall. Do you know how long it's been since I've been to a cherries, berries, Julius? Well, perhaps the magic of this place will transform us into Pixies and we'll be able to enjoy the mall and all the other mundane pixie lifestyle, Kutramal. Oh, that would be very nice. That would be nice. A white pixie fence, for example. Oh, I bet they have some...

Nice one. I bet they have some nice, uh, nice sales at J.C. Pixie. Mm-hmm. You know? You can get a coffee at the cafe. Oh, that's pretty good. Oh, that's pretty good.

Oh, I do need to get coffee with Busty later. That is on, on the agenda. Oh, was that actually the name? That's what they said. I mean, given their naming convention, I thought it would maybe she mispronouncing. It should be butsy. And I'm like, well, I mean,

I mean, it could even go to the cafe with Bussy or engaged. Call it, no, I mean, it's like, oh, you know, I gotta make the mother of the bride. You think they knew they knew when they named it, like, how should turn out? Do you think Fixie, Fixie's parents are like, oh, he will be a doctor. Well, at least that's big. I guess he could have been a mechanic. Yeah, exactly right. He could have been a carpenter.

He could have been a marriage counselor. Oh, oh, I guess, I'm not going to need one. those after we get out of this. Anyway, let's go to the mine, I'll think. Well, do you feel as one thing? One plushy, please. Oh, a pincol. They provide you a plushy of fine cone.

Oh, my God, he's so cute. I'm quite all right. Do you think that it'll expand when we leave here? You notice that they also have a pine cone plushy backpack? One of those, please. It's two gold pieces for the backpack. Two gold pieces? All right, two pieces.

They hand you a pine cone, plushy backpack. Oh, what kind of shirts do you have? I literally told you. I'm with stupid. And I got this t-shirt at the Pixie Kingdom. Is it? That's it. You want one of those?

Do they have, like, stationary with, like, your name on it? No. Like a little license plate? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a little bottle of pixie dust, and it's like, oh, this says Grismow close enough. Thirm.

What kind of a name is Thurm? Mommy, mommy, buy me a license plate. No, Thurm. Come along, Thurm. Hey, lady, you talking to me? No, my son also happens to be named Thurm. What the fuck? Thank you, Derek. You know what? Fuck it. Yes, they're a license plate. Has that happened?

Oh! Oh! Hey, it's a Grismo! You could probably adjust it later. Grismo, yeah, Monaco, no. Amigano. Yeah. Oh, Grismo. And it's always a white magnet for your refrigerator.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don't put it close to your phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, I'll just put on my Rocky Tocky. Ayaz! Oh, do we have these? No. But if you did, it would have been broken by Nicky.

Unlug one Grishmo. One grismo magnet, please. One grismo magnet, please. There's also I rode pine cone and survived. Oh, my God. Well, Gid's going to need one of those. Can we get at least two? You know what?

I'm going to get one for Gids since I have these two things. So one of those and the biggest size you have, we need one grisional license plate. Oh, yeah. So that's one, two, three, four, five gold pieces. Oh, oh, oh. Do you have little collectible tooth bags? Because you're like fairies.

Yeah, we're not tooth fairies. I feel like we could make an honest chunk of change. I mean, where did all those teeth go? Oh, they're in my pockets. That's what I'm saying. I mean, I feel like your pockets are empty. No, he puts out a bunch of goblin. Why did you keep those?

There were trash cans all over the place. Well, I don't know. It felt like it might come in handy. I mean, like, what I was saying? I'm sure hags use goblin teeth. Yeah, yeah. No, you never throw away a good tooth. I mean, you can bother with it.

Just keep it away from me. They're kind of gross looking. Oh. They'll have a weird... They'll have like a weird... It's like a gross shark tooth. Okay. Well, I've got my Grismo magnet.

I'm happy. He's by goatee. It's almost my name. I see you also taking the Lerm one. The Thurme? Oh, the Thurm one. Is there anything like Frost or morning? There's Frank and there's...

Oh, Thirm? It's kind of like Thormo. Like Uncle Thormo. Okay one for him. You'll get out of prison soon. All right, six, cool, peace. Oh, do you have Globo, too? There's George.

Not really close enough. And I can't really decide if Uncle Globo is dead or not. I mean, he had Ones him. Oh, there's Glob. Oh, why don't we get a glob of firm and a Grismo? Okay, here. Oh, do you have one for Mum? There's Mummy.

Oh, okay. Mum, just fine. I can scratch out a couple letters. Is it one for Hootsie? Who? Who? Who? Anyway, is it one?

I start looking to see if they're going for Hootie. Yeah, I would look for the same as I would say you. I will say you, no. No, there isn't. Oh man. What are you doing? It's a ridiculous name. Why would I have Hootsie?

I will say you find, you find ones that have like animal names and you do see one that says owlbear, but not one that says Hootsie. What do you think? I think. then we should get it. All right. And each one of, each one of those is only, they're only two silver pieces.

Oh. Let's fucking get all of them. Yeah, sure. Here you go. Get this set. Thank you. Your name? Oh, my name is Stixie.

Oh, Stixie. It's a pleasure to meet you. It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Thurm. My name is actually Morning Frost. Oh, we have this morning frost license plate if you want it. That's incredible. Wait, for real? How doesn't it fit?

We made the letters smaller than on the other license plates. You know, I thought it was real strange at Pixies, what, pixie coppers? They're like, hey, let me see your license, and you just put out a plate and has your name on it. I don't understand why that's a pixie custom. I mean, I don't mean to judge it of a cultures, you know what I mean? Is it some sort of mating ritual, the plate thing that Grico is describing? What? Why do you have license plates here in the, in the, in the, in the,

Vixie Gingham. Oh, I guess if it's a mating ritual, maybe I'll give this mummy magnet to Bustin. Well, because a lot of us fly around on Vespas. Oh. And so we put license plates on the back so we know whose Vespa belongs to who, you know? Well, I will take the morning for us. Sure, it's the only one we've got. Thank you.

Do you have any Kremlin Kruhe's once, just off chance? I can look. Yeah, here's a Kremlin. Oh, good. All right. He puts it back. I feel like that's a little omen of them. I probably doesn't mean anything.

Anyway, he's the gold. Goodbye. How many gold do you give him? It was one, two, three, four, five for the five of the plates. So it was five gold total. Okay. Right? Yeah, sure.

That sounds about right. I'm docking to five gold, go. Well, we could go play hide and go seek. We could perhaps leave picks up. Pixie Kingdom and come back when we feel that Gideon will emerge from his eternal slumber. Well, I think regardless, I have to seek about a pine cone. Oh, you know, you'll see pawn cone again.

Yeah, I know. You could try to ride him and escape out of here and find out if he will actually transform into a giant cracking size monsterity upon emerging out of the magic of the kingdom. Imagine a crack and saws pug? Yeah. No, I don't want him to get in trouble. Yeah, that would be bloodnaping.

very nice. This is his home. I get stolen by the sow pig. Oh, yeah. No one wants, you know, we haven't seen that happen. Oh, that's right. No one's seen that happen. Well, go say goodbye to Pinecone. Take as much time as you need. We're not in any hurry. Yeah. All right, Pinecone. I'll let you go now. All right. You'll be better without me, okay? I know, I know it's tough. I know it's tough, but you're going to be fine. Gid's going to be fine. We're all gonna be fine without you. I know, buddy. What? I know.

You're so sad. What? He's looking all over. Not even thinking of him. He is not looking at you at all. I know it's gonna be tough, all right? It's gonna be tough by both of us, okay? You just gotta go back and you gotta keep you the ride.

He starts scratching his ass on the ground. Is this what you do? I'm just like trying to ignore it. Okay, buddy. I'll see you soon, all right. All right. And I'll sort of pat him on the back. And I'll turn.

All right, Phyllis, let's go. Okay. Well, there's a... Let me take a look at the map, actually. Does the taffy heal? Yes, it does. Thank the Lord. 2D4 plus 4.

Oh, 2D4. Oh, 2D4. 2D4 plus... The bar upon count you miss you. Goodbye, bye, go. I'm looking okay. Taffy makes me feel a little better. Taffy makes me feel good.

All right, do we play hide and seek or do we go to the mystery mine? I mean... I've been saying, let's go to the mystery mind since we got here. The choice is obvious. We should go and do the counting

of the feathers. Oh, yeah, I mean, we did sort of save that. Yeah, we saved it. And it's like right outside the door. I've been looking forward to it for... And then we can go to the mine. Okay, yeah, no. I'd be quite, I'd be very good at counting feathers.

Let's go get changed back. Goodbye, Painko. Goodbye, Pinecone. Goodbye, we in pleads. You see the pine cone is already, um, is already back towards the track. There are two pixies around him, and he's been given a bowl of water and some food, and he is just slurping it up and having a good time. Goodbye Dumpel-Doo.

We need, goodbye, Minxie. I guess, do we, and you, goodbye, Pinksy. off at the door to get like turned back. Goodbye Quixie. I would presume we can't walk out and slowly get larger as we need. Goodbye Lixie. Goodbye, Stixie. Goodbye, Dr. Fixie.

Goodbye, Dr. Fixi. Goodbye, Nurse, Sixie. Oh. Minksy, Twixie, Bixie, Nixie, Vixie, Grixie, Dixie, Taxi, Zaxi, Quaxy, and Stixie. Oh, why don't they call it Dixie? And Mr. Fixie. What do they call it Dixie? No, no, no.

Oh, yeah, that's what I was saying. What's the prognosis, Dr. Good and Sexy? It's the last time. Hello, nurse. We go to where we think we need to go in order to emerge as medium-sized human rights. You make your way towards the very obvious exit to Pixie Kingdom. Like, think like the Renaissance Fair, like there's that big archway that you have. between the United States.

It's all one movie, yes. And it is. That's exactly what it's like. The parking lot really ruins this illusion. Hey, look, it's he-old Honda Civic. And you make your way out of the Pixie Kingdom with ease. And as you do, the pixie at the front gate blows a handful of white pixie dust on all of you, and you slowly begin

to regain your form and you are now standing at your normal height. And as you breathe in, you begin to feel the magics of the face roll around you as I use three more twists of dreads. And now you have to roll.

I already figured out what you're getting. That's what you're doing. Derek, a talking flea now lives in your nose. I hate the talking flea. No. Hey, fraud. Oh, no, actually, I'm going to give, I'm going to give that one to Kremie.

I'm going to give that one to Krami. Because there's a different one I would like to give for you. Kremi, a talking flea now lives in your nose. Grico, your childhood invisible friend appears to you, but no one else can see it. Frost, you can't stop giving yourself pep talks. That's really good. You know that's a little stuffy all of a sudden? I'm sorry?

No, no, I mean, there was a little bit of the dust that was blown into our face. Shut up, Grimmy. Frost is talking. Did you say something? What? Are you talking? Creamy. Wait, who is that?

Creamy. Can you hear me, Creamy? Is that you? Yeah. Why do you sound so different? I'm in your nose, crummy. Wait, Giddy, you're my nose? Yeah, I'm in your nose, crummy.

Can I insert inside check the flea in my nose? Yes. Are you talking to Gideon? Is he somehow inside of your nostril? Well, I feel like there's some kind of trick, but I mean, so sounds like it. Nice one. Uh, uh, 23.

Twister Dread. Damn it. Dude, this is, this is all your all 23. It's very, very clear to you that this is not Gideon. Oh, come on. Who is this? Skid, crum.

Skid, skid, scim? No, it's a kid, cram. No, you're not Gid. Look, you're trying to play some sort of fair trick. I get it. It's very funny. Are you in my nose? Yeah, I'm a flea in your nose name Gid.

All right, oh, Gid. Why are you here? What do you need? I've been here for a long time. How long have you been there? As long as I can remember, Grimmie. You were born in my nose? You can finally hear me.

Oh, my God. Does that many bugs? Looking their eggs in my nose? You do have extremely long nostrils. Perhaps it just took them this long to walk from the back of your skull all the way to the front of your snap. Maybe. Good God.

Do you know how old you are? I'm very, very, very old, Cremie. Oh, my gosh. Have I had bugs in my nose this whole time? I can reach out with my mind and I can crush the life out

of whatever that's inside of your nose if you need me to. It sounds very uncomfortable. Don't let him do it, Cremie. We can finally talk. Well, maybe we feel bad up again. Cremie, are you sure you don't want me to help? Don't let him do it, Cremie. No, hold on. He sounds real sad.

I have so much life left. to live, Crummy. Oh, my God. What do you want to do with your life other year? I just want to be here with you. I just want to stay in my nose? Yeah, it's nice here. I like you.

You're a good guy, Crummy. Oh, you like me, do you? Yeah. Oh, so, I mean, have you been like, you joined me on all, all, all, all that last? I know everything you've ever done, Crummy. Oh, my God. Don't piss me off or I'll tell the fence. Now you're resuming black man.

Frost, too, quick. Quick. All right. All right, Kremi. Before he leaves. All right, Kremi, you've got this. You're not going to miss and crush Kremi's mind. You're going to get the mind of the...

And I reach out, and do I sense a mind? You do not. Sorry, I'll be scared. But nobody black males crumbling through. Cremie, I don't sense anything inside of your nose. There doesn't seem to be another mind there. No, no. Can you all hear them?

There's a holly. inside my nose. I guess your friend's not as capable as you thought he was. Perhaps I'm not as capable. No, no, no, you've got this process. You've got it. Now you've threatened my death, Kremi. Oh, no.

You know what this means? What does it mean? Remy Guru's gonna know about everything. No, no, it won't. No, this is a figment of my imagination. And I want to try to snot rocking them out. You watch as Kremie closes off one nostril and tries and he's not going to work, Cremie. I'm hanging on.

I'm hanging out. I'm like sticking, trying to get, like, peeling out of there. Okay, guys, come on. Let's keep going. Count your fucking feathers as I... I'm... Bricko, I think that... I think that Kremi may have lost his mind

that he's talking to a voice inside his head, kind of like Gideon does, when he is consumed by the clowns. Guys. Cricko? Cremie, don't look behind you. What? Do you see you would always... I see?

No, it work. You don't see a gigantic animatronic possum dressed like a rock and roll chef behind Kremi. Do I see that?

He's standing right over, just looking, staring down directly at the top of Kremi's head. Voices, some kind of visions. You're both imagining these things. You understand? It's flibble flat. Grizzle, Gravel.

Oh, you've told me about flizzle, fuzzle, gravel. No, he said flibble, flabble, grizzle. Flibble, flammle, grizzle. It's flibble, gristle, or grazzle? Grable. Grable. Flible. Flabel.

Flabel. Three elf. Grizzle, grumble. Grisle, grumble. Well, now it's gravel. That's what it was the first time. Oh, it was grazzle. Well, first it was grazzled.

Then it was gravel. I thought it was the first time. It was gravel. No, it was grizzled. It's been years since you've mentioned mentioned this. This was your imaginary friend, wasn't it? Oh, no. He's here? He's standing right behind Cremie. Oh, no, Cremie! No, don't do it. Fizzle, Flags,

oh my God, well, oh, so spinning around. There's nothing behind him. Oh, he has a knife! Does he know the fleet? Oh, no! He's going to cook very affordable pasta dishes! And perform very hip-rock and relare! You're going to have to take care of your friends now, Frost. You're going to have to do a good job. You got this. Fizzle, flammle, grizzle!

Oh, no, don't do it again. And James every time! What's his name? Oh, I mean, I mean, he was more my imaginary friend that I made up when I was young and I couldn't decide on his name. So, I mean, he would always tell me, I am the one without name.

Yeah. Frissel, frabble, griggle, grubble. I'm, flibble, flammle, gristle, grumble, is real. Flibble, Grizzle, Gravel, is a part of your imagination. Are you sure? Yes. You have to believe in me as much as I believe in myself.

Oh, he's ringing his hands and licking his sharp animatronic lips. That's all he'll ever do. Can you like point at him? Point right in his face. Bam! And I want to shoot Eldridge blast out of my cane at where this thing is. You do.

Roll, roll to attack. Oh, God. If you miss, you hit one of the bubble pop people and they pulled their dune. Can you get out of my mind? Oh no. Just a straight attack roll? Uh-huh. That is a nine.

Yeah, you fling your Eldridge blast behind you. You are not, you don't turn around to look. You just blast away. I angle it up, though, because I know he's tall. Yeah, you angle it up because you know that he's tall, but there are also a lot of tall entities here. As you, as you hit. a towering bug bear man behind you, you hear the smell of burning fur as a man begins to just

run through the crowd. Fuck, my eyes! Oh my god. We get the fuck out of you. To the feathers. To the feathers. Follow me. See, they both followed you.

You're doing great. You're doing just fine. You hear in your nose, that wasn't very nice, Grimmie. Shut up you. Fibble, fibrill, gristle, grackle. You're doing. really fast. And you watch.

Oh, he's going to skateboard. Of you. How are your names? What? Hear the smell of burning first. Why do you have to go immediately to an

elder tower or like. I seriously, when I picked that. Jeremy was the obvious one. So I had to decide, how can I, how can I be

Ryan Johnson and deconstruct Jeremy? How do I deconstruct Jeremy and give the fans a Jeremy that they don't want

and what would Jeremy be for someone who hates Jeremy? Gringo's prompts could be like, you get an ice cream cone. Kill the child. We run in horror. To us wear! To the feather counting booth.

You run in a horror towards the physical casting booth. You are good. You are good, try. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Okay, I think we lost them. You think we lost flibble, flammle, grizzle.

You say as you look and he is looming behind you with his knife-held eye. Maybe, can we stop saying his name? Maybe someone's saying frizzle, flivis-flibble, grisble, grisble, I feel like I can say flibble, grisble, grisble, grubble, any time I want to. Surprise. Why would we care, but don't. Why would you say,

Flibble, flubble, grisble, Let's just try, go so much, rusty. Let's just try. Well, let's refer to him as the F-Man. F-man. F-man. I like that. F-man, then he won't be able to follow us.

It's because you're saying flibble-flavble-grisle-grubble. If he's able to appear. F-F-G-G-G from now on. You got it, Grigo? You're going to be all right. F-squared G-squared. You know what I mean? I'll remember the things he used to say to me.

Well, let's not dwell on that. Uncle Carbo's eyes are very, Couchable. You haven't decided to be dead yet, so. We're gonna meet an Ilus. We're gonna meet an Ilus Glorbo at your wedding. Hello, Rick. Which side would you like to be seated on?

I can't see. Oh, survived me bow with onism. And the angry mob? Nothing to the simple. was gonna stop all your old local gover. Would you love some surfing tooth like the old days, the old cricket? Can I like Lorbo?

What do we see when we look at the feather counting booth? You make your way towards the gaming alley and you navigate through the games that you've already played. It's difficult to do because you haven't been here before. And so you feel inclined in some, in some areas to stop and play some of these games. The gnome poetry contest is currently going on as you speak.

You can tell that the child that is participating is not winning, unfortunately. But it does look like it's a lot of fun, the intellectual competition between the two people. But you do make your way to the smallest and dinkiest of all of the boods. Guess the number of feathers. See, here we are. Look how small and dinky it is. And that excites you. And you look at it and you see that it is a very small booth.

There is a gnome standing behind the booth. And behind them, there is a cage filled with five coquitrice. Cockatrice. Cockatrice. And as you approach, you hear, birds of a feather. How about feathers of a bird? Step right up and guess how many feathers festoon this fiendish foul.

That's pretty good. Hello, sir. Oh, did you actually know that they are not fiendish? My name's Mary. Oh, hello Mary. That's what a beard really threw me. I didn't say she the Hello, Miss Beard and Mary.

My name is Miss Bearden Mary. They call her a Beard and Mary. They call her be a bearded. Did it marry? My name is Ricko Grim Grimm. Oh, ma'am, I'm sorry. My name is Morning Frost. These are me lads, Morning Frost.

This is, this is Crumnylacru. My do, I love you. The gigantic animatronic chef rocker possum behind you is flibble, flabble, glizzle mackle. Oh, and the flea in my nose is all the kid. I can't believe you fuck that up, Frost. You gotta do better than this. You've got to do better.

You've got to do better. Anyways, my name is Morning Frost. This is Ricka. Oh, we've already done that, yes. You're never going to do. gonna guess right. I don't care because I'm not gonna guess. You were my friend, but now you're my enemy.

Why can't we be friends again? Because you wanted to have me killed. Well, you wanted to blackmail me. I wasn't gonna do that. I just told you I could. Well, I know you. Well, that's sort of like a threat. That's what we call a veiled threat.

I don't even know what a veil is. Look, quiet you. The answer's 12. Lance 12. Oh. Who are you talking to? Oh, long story. There's a flea that lives in my nose.

He was born there at some time. His bug parents probably, you know, snuck in there while I was asleep in the swamp. Layed their eggs there. And, you know, I've been sort of feeding the parasite, if you will. And he's recently hatched. Call me a parasite again and I'll travel to your brain. Yes, sir. Miss, what is your name?

Mary. Mary, Mary. I'm sorry, I'm just... Damn it, Frost, you've got to do better than this. You can do this. You can do this. Okay. Sorry, my friend thinks that two bugs forticated in his nose and now that there's a small, a living creature inside there. But was his guest 12 correct?

You want to lock that in as your guess? We need a punch off tickets. Does it cost a whole punch? A whole bunch? A whole bunch. No, I'm not gonna waste the punch on this is your thing. I don't. I really like a cockatrice.

But I gave you the answer. Do you want to guess with me? I'd like the cockatrees. You want... Well, the cockatries aren't for sale. Well, are you gonna guess 12? Someone should still guess 12. What is the prize if someone guesses correctly?

One of the prizes from the prize counter? Oh, you missed all that. There's a whole thing. There's a bunch of prizes. Go and then give you a... I got like 80 spiders you want one. 80 spiders? We get a giant.

Remember when I turned to look again into a troll. Yeah. And guys did that thing. This is a giant stuffed tarantula. What did you get that from? What? Have you been wearing this whole time? Oh, no.

She was in me pack. She has a little crown of flowers. Oh. I had no idea. Her name is Queen Jennifer. Is this a real spider? No, it's a stuff. He's not holding a spider.

This is like, No, it's a giant stuff tarantula. It's a giant stuff. and it gives him the ability to do spider climbing. I heard you got that at F. F. F. F. F.A. O. Schwartz. Oh, I mean, isn't it Fauswitz? Fow Swartz? Fow Schwartz? Fah O. Fahawt. Fawt. Fowl. Fowl. Fiswark.

Fowl. Oh, I don't know. Is it foul? I assumed it was initials. You stay away. It's Faye O Schwartz. You stay away from her, flibble, flibble, grizzle, griggle. I would like to protect. in the counting of the feathers. And if you could just punch my ticket. Yeah, okay.

Cockatrices are not fiends. They are monstrosities. And I'm going to turn into a spectral version of one and strut around. Thank you. And I can't you. Okay. Yeah, so just look at the birds

and just tell me how many feathers they have. 12s. All told? Yeah. All fives of the birds. Five birds. Other gear thinks it's 12. Yeah, I think that's grossly under-adimating the number of feathers.

Well, how would you know better than he does? He is inside your nose. How could he observe the cockatrices? I mean, he knows everything about me. Why wouldn't he know everything about these cockatries? He may know how many feathers you have is 12. I don't know where, but. Oh, God.

I start checking. Oh, maybe just count his feathers. How do I go about making a guesstimate in this space? That's, that is up to you. Oh. How would Frost go about figuring out how many feathers are on these birds? About this number of feathers per squirage of skin minus a beak. Not including the eyes.

Legs don't count. Perhaps. Well? No. No molting. Are we allowed to ask them to turn? You can ask. I don't know if they'll do it.

Oh. Concadrice is, if you don't mind rotating 360 to, actually, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm a block, block. Roll in the handbook. Don't you check for me, please. So, would I, so while he's saying that, if I am able, if I am shape shifted into a spectral coquitrice,

could I take his, what he's saying, because I can understand what he's saying, and try to communicate to the cockatrice in, and so you can roll at Advantage with Rickus. That's very good, because it was an eight. I'll have an 18. You just give me a plus 10 bonus. Yay!

Yes, so the, they tilt their head at you a little bit at first, but then they seem to, it's almost as if they understood what you were saying. You are so focused on this, you don't notice Grico's antics behind you, but the cockatrice do begin to spin and show you their rear. Okay. Oh. Mostly feathered near rear. Five.

I believe it's going to be, and we have to get it down to the feather. Yeah, those are the rules. No one's ever won this game before. What? shitty game. I thought we had bad games. That's not very nice. 18,16 1,615.

Wait, 18,016. I'm sorry, 18,1,615. That's my final answer. Okay. Yeah, let me just check. There's one objective of this game. I think they'd have a number that's written down.

It's obvious. I'm gonna ship back out. Why don't we have an alcohol license? Do you sell alcohol? No. That number was, roll in intelligence check for me, please. Just straight in. Twist it.

I'll twist it. Twist it. Okay. I won't Frost to win a game. Roll it 100 for me. No. Can I twist it again? Twist again, yeah.

Take as many twists as you want. Take as many twists as you want. 36. I'm going for three twists. Let's go. Thank you, Chad. This is fate. I will have a 24 and three

Faye curses. All right. Frost, you got it. I know the number you said doesn't make any fucking sense, but let's go. Goblins now look like beautiful women. What was your next E-100? Goblins Prid.

Hey, Kremi. 53. This is a cool-looking creature. over here, Ron? What do you mean? This thing, what is that called again? I can't remember. The cockatrice?

Cockatrice nuts! I want to write it. Can you rewrote that one? Because I don't want you to not be able to form new bird-related memories. Oh, 38? 38, I said. Wait a minute.

Cats meows now sound like orc battle cries. Hmm. I figure because you're a cat will keep that one. What's the, I'm an ork, and I'm an ork. And the final one, blood and thunder. Give me some,

90, straight. 90? 90. Yep. All right, Frost. You've done everything you can do. You're going to be all right. This is going to work out for the best.

Your knees become fused. You lose the ability to run. Classic. Ah. It is 18,100. 16, correct? Can you repeat that again? 18,116.

Huh? 18,116. By God, you got it. No fucking way. I told you I would... Oh, my gosh. Again? Well, this is the real orc battle.

Frosty. Yes, Grico. Are you back from a bird? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. There was a joke. You hear on the loudspeaker, oh, uh, uh, we, we have a, we have a winner at the, the, the feather, the counting feather, the, the, the, the, the, who knows how many feathers are on these birds

place? Oh my God, we got it. I got it. Help me up. Morning frost. Congratulations. Oh, my God. And you hear an erosion of cheers from average. Is that big prize? Oh, no, it's the same prize as everything else. We've just never had one before, and you feel the happy to meet or go up by one.

Oh, let's fucking go. Oh, Frosty? Yes, Grico. Oh, wow, Graco, are you a beaver that's damn? What? What are you going to say? What are you a large water-dwelling rodent? You've been prettier than this, but right now you're looking very pretty.

Oh, is it like kind of like, I'm one of those like modestly hot girls, which is like kind of hot, but you know she's not going to run around. on you. Yeah. You know, other guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll take it. Thank you. Thank you.

You are presented. Roll of D8 for me, please. Oh. I hope I get the spider climbing. I actually... A very frost number. Give me a three on that. You were given a packet of pixie dust.

Pixie dust. Yes, you can find pixie dust in D&DBion. You can find pixie dust in D&DBion. What? I'm gonna add it to my inventory. Thank you. Yeah, you get one packet of pixie dust. and she also gives you a shirt that is way too small for you.

Not in the same way it is on Gideon, but it is too small for you, and it says Bird Chad. Bird Chad! I love it. My legs may be fused, but I feel complete. Well done, Frost. Whereas, like, Gideons is in a really nice baby pink.

Yours is in this really, really, nice sky blue. Hmm. Well, look at that. You got a shirt. Can you guys hear that voice? Is this FFGG again? Oh, he's saying that

Great Victory comes at a cost. Perhaps it's he who has been fusing my legs this entire time. And Derek, I'm just going to give you a different one for your cat's meow, because that one's shit. He's going to separate. Your fingernails fall off. He's going to separate your legs.

Oh, that sounds very violent. From your hips. Oh, yeah. He's not going to wishbone me, like in some sort of Silent Hill film I saw once. Did that happen? Yeah. Oh, my God. Your fucking legs.

Did you hear what I said? Yes. So instead of the cats, like, every time cat meows, it sounds like an ogre, you're never going to be able to use that one. I'm going to cross that. So instead your fingernails fall off. Oh, thank you for. the pixie,

Ow! Oh! Flaventhal Cry is more when you do this? Is it bloody or is it just like smooth and skinny?

It's smooth and skinny. Oh my God. I mean, these might be valuable later and I pick up all the fingernails. Stop collecting pieces of people. It's the same thing with your toenails. Those are also gone.

Oh, my shoes feel weirdly spiky now for some reason. You should probably get them out of bed on your thing. It'll be more comfortable. No. Why would I take my feet out of my shoe? I'm using my art.

Ridiculous normally, but I don't want to handle my shoe laces. Look at my fucking fingernails. You don't have shoe laces. Have you seen your fucking art? Oh, yeah. It's this very soft, squishy flesh that you has not felt oxygen.

It's just, it's uncomfortable. When you push on it, it doesn't feel painful, but it feels like it's just, it's an area that should never be touched. The end of my fingers feel like gushers. That's just a nightmare. Flipple, flibble, flabble, grishol. Don't say the name.

I'm beginning to believe, Grigel. FFG's name must never be uttered. I think he was the one who ripped out all your names. Oh, God. And he says soon your tail would be next. He messed up a letter. Oh, no.

He's very bad. Spelling. I'm gonna keep my legs fused. I'm going to... He's only good at pizza and rock and roll. I'm gonna read what Pixie does for a moment. That's pretty cool. Oh, Crick-O-Tad-Ass!

Okay. Well, this has been terrible. Man, I thought I've riddened myself out of... from flibble, flabber. Okay, we're gonna go to the mine. You won't be able to catch a singer. Oh, God, he's got a skateboard! Oh! He says he says he.

gonna call the rest of his hip band. Don't run so fast. I can only hop, Grico. Come on for me. All right. You need some help, Fras? I can't carry you. I can't carry you.

Flippo Flap or Grisalgo, no. I mean, maybe you and I can't even carry him. Frost needs some help. Not. No. No. RICO, I can't run my fucking legs. Thank you.

Derek. What do I have to do to get you to say the thing? Fuck. Thank you. He's had the thing. He said the thing. I don't have anything to help you. I don't know what to say. Okay, fine taffy. We'll stay here. You can take gidd and... Do I want to do everything around here? It's all about me. And I'm gonna turn into a displacer beast. Oh. Oh, can I do that? I'm this small displacements. That almost sounded like an orc battle cry to me, but that's not appropriate. Lactar Ogar!

Blood and thunder! Zatza! I push Frost over the pet the cat. Oh. All right, let's go to the mine. Something you're doing. We go to the mine. I love that it is now gone to the point

where I don't need to be here. Because you're like, yeah, we're going to go to the mine. and where I would normally describe if you're going to the mind, you just do it now yourselves. It just happens naturally. Well, I mean, you can describe what we see on the way.

But you could also, like, next time, you can just, like, set up like Final Fantasy over here. I'm like, I should just keep my laptop. And I'd be working on my house. Oh, no, no, no, your teeth fall out. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you rolled a twist of fate. Yeah, yeah, your butt hole is now an out hole.

Your eyes turned into mashed potatoes. Something to do. I don't put my headset on. I'm just talking to my friends in VC. I'm like, yeah, we're playing D&D, but they don't need me. Your nipples start crawling around your body like caterpillar. Oh, hold on. That's good.

No, why would you say that? That's really good. Holy shit. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seeds, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror toome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. We're making your way towards the mystery mind. The mood of the carnival is very high. You, as you're walking, you are constantly congratulated about the upcoming number.

people stop you to let you know how excited they are for the new for the new attraction the the witch like carnival first annual drag show and it is it is very clear that the carnival itself is a buzz and you have made a positive impact on this place for at least this evening as you make your way towards the mystery mine so we're here and we're going to walk out the door and we're gonna go over here to the old mystery mine. Go in there, mystery mines. I wish the player was to bark, bur. Oh right, you're just, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

As you make your way there, you see the mystery mine come into view. Repelled by magic, mine carts laden with fairgoers trundle into an opening, into an opening carved like a dragon's mouth. The carts reappear moments later on the far side of the attraction, with the passengers expressing,

a mixture of bewilderment, fear, and excitement. Near the entrance, a male dwarf dressed like a wizard, shouts, unlock the mysteries of your mind and the mystery man. He has bushy eyebrows, wears a pointy hat, and holds a large clockwork contraption shaped like a giant sigh. This seems like a ride. I don't need to use my legs, and we'll be able to unlock the mysteries of her mind.

This is perfect. Oh. Oh, gosh. Do you see what he's holding? What? FFGG? No, the dwarf, it looks like an eye that might belong to a gigantic, flibble, flabble, grizzle ground.

Don't say the word. Huh! You've done enough. I've turned out of a displacer beast, of course, and dropped you on the ground. Whoa. They have to give him the mine card. Oh, you can carry him. You old big strong guy.

No, I'm not. Why don't you carry him? I'm a little fella. Sir, sir. Excuse me. Mystery mine, sir? It's nice to meet you. The name Zifixo.

I'm a dwarf wizard. Zofixo or a fixo? Zifixo. Zifixo. It starts with Z, ends with an affixo. Are you related to Dr. Fixit? Or fixi. No.

Or Zibirna. Oh. No. I'm a dwarf witchlight hand running this mine. Is Zafixo one name? The magical Zifixo. Look into my all C and I. Probably a stage, maybe.

What do we see in the eye? Are you going to look in it? It's going to be one hole punch. Just looking at the eye? Well, and then to go on the ride. Oh, yeah, of course, of course. If you see a gigantic mechanical posser man who's a musician chef and has murderous intent,

just to give up. It's too late. I crunch my whole car and a whole car. Yeah, if you want to do more, you're going to want to consider getting a new ticket. Yeah, but I do get

like a subway sandwich now for free, right? No, you can go on this here right after you look into my mechanical eye. Oh. Zipixos all seeing eye. Oh, right. All right, step right up, one by one.

Who's going first? I can't step up on my fucking legs, unfortunately. Can you be dragged up? Can you give us a hand? I'll give you a young strap. I'll give you. I have to hold the all C and I.

I'll give you my shoulder. Okay, come on, okay. Let's go. Okay, Frosty, let's go, let's go. Hey, you're, you're a big cat. No, this is awkward now because you're taller than I am. Kneel down. Kneel down.

I'll push up like this. I fast-de-me, ah, my shoulder, ah! All right, here we are. Let's look. Oh, you're digging your pony cat hands. All three of you make your way up towards the eye, and you stare into it, First, it appears to just be a strange mechanical eye.

But then you begin to see the swirling black and white movements. Like think about old twilight. Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Zone films where they'd have the circular black and white and it's summation. And you feel your mind starts to warp. And each one of you sees the thing that you are most

afraid of in this world. The thing that haunts you in your dreams, your biggest fear, your greatest nightmare manifest. I need you to write it down on a piece of paper and pass it to be, please. Fuck. That's kind of a deep. I know. Well,

I feel like there's different kinds. Right. I would say it shouldn't be too abstract. Yeah, I think it'll be, like who, what would be a, like a boogeyman? I don't think, I don't think it would be a horrible, traumatic future. or Ray, it would be like, what would your boggart look like?

Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go with something pretty much more. That you would have context of, right? Could I have half of that? Oh, come on. It's a card. Can you pass me a pen?

Here is an actual pen. Didn't we give you fears? I feel like I wrote down fears a long time ago. There's Beneath Dark Wings 35. I have different. This should be... This is being softer than that. Yeah, so this is, it's more like what,

what, uh, Mike said? It's more like what would your, what would your boggart turn into if you were in Harry Potter? It's something. I don't know why I folded it that way. It's empty. You folded it backwards. Yeah, I folded it the wrong way.

What do you have to say about all this other kid? I can't wait to watch you suffer. Oh God. Maybe I should have written you on the card. We could try to make up. I'd be amenable to that. I mean, I'd like to be a friend. If you promise you're not going to hurt me,

I will promise not to burrow into your brain. Oh, God. And slowly kill you from the inside. Oh, no, no, no. From now, I won't hurt you. And maybe we can be friends. You know, go on adventures. Now the Gid's sort of laid up for a while.

Maybe you can be, you're already other Gid. You could be sort of like new Gid. I used to like watching you and hanging out in your nose before you started talking to me. Oh, all right. Well, what, uh, I looked at all mytes doing. Sorry. Well, I mean, what sort of other things do you want to try?

I mean, maybe I could do something from Homestar Runner. Maybe if I could just, you know, maybe I could do something so you could experience it, you know? We can have some fun adventures, make some memories, you know? You've a name that's not other kid. I mean, I feel like, you know, calling you a kid just feels kind of weird if we're going to be friends. You can call me Flea, Gid. Flea Gid? I'm gonna pretend that's like one name

and just totally different from Gideon. Or you could give me a special name on my own. Oh, um, well, I don't know. What do you like? You? All right. What else do you like? Weas and some grindage.

Weas and some grindage? I don't know what that means, but how about Weasel? Okay. All right, Weasel. We're going to go into this mind as soon as Grick goes done drawn, whatever the fuck he's doing. And as soon as I can think of something that's more tangible than abstract things, I'm going all abstract. Oh. Well, I mean...

Look, I am capable of making it work. Just write down what you feel like you need to write down. Yeah, he's good at this for your fact. I can handle it. This is very important. I think the only one I'm going to have a hard time with is Mikey's because I have no idea what he's doing. Okay. I'm going to write a few things that occurred to me. What? Oh, boy. Yeah, no. Mike's the one. Mike's the chosen one. I love, I do love this. I love this, Mike. I'm going to put this on the cork board.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. In this session. We were going to auction this off. We read this and let me know if I need to give you a tangible thing. That'll work. I will make it work. But all these is in front of me. Thank you. Now that you've looked into the all-seeing eye. Oh, wow. The mystery in mind knows your mind.

It's seen into your soul. Can you survive the horrors within? Sounds kind of fun. And come out the other side. And spooky. Other side hole? I think so. Come on.

No, there's like a comma there, the other side. Hole, question mark. Is that where you put a comma? I don't know. I didn't finish grade school. Yes, that is where you put the comma. Uh, you can do this. You can do this.

You can come outside the other side hole. Come on, Frost. I meant complete, like, you know. Oh, it's a double you. Yeah, not like a hole. I was picturing it like a hole in the side of the line. You're coming out of the other whole hole. You know what I mean?

That's what I mean. That's what my mind was. It's English. I mean, it's common. Yeah, it's common. It's really difficult for a lot of people learn for that reason. You speak draconic?

No. Oh, never mind. Whatever's in there. I speak dwarvish. Oh. Nammish. Cool. And Sylvan.

Does it occur to us what has been pulled from our mind out of the object? I would say you feel a little unsettled, but no. Okay. Well, whatever's in there can't be as bad as flibble-flubble, Grisil-Grogel.

Greggle. Greggle. Grable. Flizzle, grizzle. Flible, flibble, you know, you know, it's... No, it was Gregal, right? Graggle. Grable. Grable.

You wrote Dan Grable. He said gravel once, but that was wrong. Yes. It was like when I said it was strange employment opportunity. It was actually bizarre employment opportunity. Greggle. In silver nose. Yes.

Black fragel. Like fragel. Rock. Oh, there's a rock? Like, that's not what I have. I have a rook. Are you ready to get into the mine, Kurt? Yeah.

Come on, let's get you. Do you have places to keep tally of something? Yes. I've got my ready. I got the mat. Perfect. That's important. Well, whatever's in there can't be as bad as simple flammable grizzle.

All right. Well, if you want to go ahead and step right into this mon cart. Who wants you party? We will begin the ride. I wish you love. All right, Grico. Let's get him in. Come on.

I have my shoulder. Thank you. I am Zafixo. I have been your mind leader today. And have fun. It's a pleasure. Thank you. You are quite the wizard.

The magical wondering magic of Zafixo. Oh, Zafixo. How do we jump the cart in order to catch the bananas at just the right time? Yeah. Is it going to be a golden K that we have to get? Please get in the cart. If we spell like a whole word where we'll get a red balloon at the end

that gives us an extra life in case we die? No. Oh. Is there a chance we could die? There's a chance for anything. Please get in the car. Are there any like bees or beavers or maybe like we had crocodile man?

They go, please get in the car. I've already been put in the car. He's in the car. And as you get in, he goes over and he pulls the bar down and he affixes the little latch between each of your legs.

Making sure that it stays down. It's fine. You're definitely not too skinny and you're not gonna fly out of this cart. Okay. Just make sure you hold on to the bar. All right, have fun. He smacks the back of the cart

and it begins to creak and wobble as it moves along the track. And the ride begins. You begin to pass through the dragon's mouth. And the ride goes slowly at first. does the mouth of the dragon moves overhead. And you are, you find yourself surrounded by darkness as you're moving forward.

It is a strange, pitch black, magical darkness. As all of a sudden, the cart comes to a stop. And it sits there for one second, two seconds, three seconds, until all of a sudden you feel yourself lurch forward as it pitches downward. And as the cart rockets downward, you begin to see the darkness illuminate with embers and fire as you are, as you as you find yourself in a magma, an illusory magma layer. You can feel the heat, but it is not overwhelming like magma would be. But your senses are attuned to this. You can smell the sulfur. You can hear the popping of the magma. You can feel the warmth. and you all begin to see something in front of you. You begin to see the image of yourselves.

Trapped on top of this rough stone surface, shaking alone, calling out, asking for friends, asking for help. But there's no one there to help you. There's no one there to find you. This is dark. You look down. Your illusory person looks down and you're still rocketing through this place, but you can see this looming in front of you,

almost like a mirage not going away, almost like a major image playing out in front of you. As you watch as this illusory version of yourself looks down and you see the bones of your friends, long dead. But you haven't aged a day. The loss of them, the loneliness, the emptiness, begins to grate at you as you begin to feel insanity take hold, as you begin to create friends in your own mind to quell the loneliness you feel.

The insanity begins to warp and tear at your mind. You begin to forget things. The intellect that you held so dear is now being worn away by the sands of time and the sands of desperation. Oh no. and all you can feel is empty. I need you all to roll a wisdom saving throw. Frost, I need you to roll at disadvantage.

What is that? Oh, fuck. Wisdom. I don't know if I want to succeed. That's not too bad. 18. Not proficient, but. Eight.

Oh, and I will say, as you major, As the cart entered in and you hit the magical darkness, you did feel your fake curses disappear from you. Oh, all right. You can do this. You can do this. Because this warps your mind in a certain way, they make sure that your minds are clear of anything.

Okay, someone goes in there on LSD or something. It's like going in the Harry Potter waterfall that... Yeah, just washes away all of here. I'll look on me. Oh, no, the skates and he's over there. Oh, he just failed to... Oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, he just met a very gruesome match. I will read two. Death is only the beginning. Um, two. Okay. Mega fail. Oh, 18. Fell, grim, grim, grim, gill.

What, you got an 18? 18. Please mark down one on your sheet. Oh, oh, I'm not that. Eight. The two of you are completely overcome by fear. You are unable to get these images out of your mind.

You have one level of fear. You are shaking. You are scared. And you are unable to handle what you're saying. Grico, you laugh in the face of this. You know that could never be your face. It's scary. That's ridiculous.

You've been alone many times. This is abstract. And you feel empowered. And so you mark down one success, you two mark down one failure. You guys actually scared by this? What is this? Oh, give me the fuck out of here.

Oh, being lonely. It technically says you're compelled to scream, but I don't know if I want to make you scream. Ah. Thanks on the road. Ah. Oh, is it like a red button? We can press like emergency stop this thing.

I'm coming out of my seat. I don't say that. I'm actually. This is a great, bro. This is scary at all. I'm gonna cut all of the golden Letters into the red balloon. What's that, Grico?

I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. What? That was just kind of weird and depressing. It was kind of miserable and depressing. It wasn't scary at all. There's nothing scary about it. This is a baby ride. You fucking kidding me?

It's a baby ride. I don't think I've been there scared of my life. Everything was taken. All of it. Are we going to crash? What? It's baby stuff. The ride continues to make it through the strange magmal air.

This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. Um, And then the scenery begins to change as you start making your way up the side of this internal volcano. It begins to slow and you find yourself once again back into darkness. As all of a sudden you write yourself and you're sitting in pure darkness yet again. I know that the fake nurse has passed, but I am saying get it together frost and I'm talking to myself. Yep.

And you, what's gonna happen next? You wait one second, two seconds, three seconds, as the cart tilts and plummets back into the depths again. Woo! Find yourself in a forest of twisting corkscrew trees, swamps bubbling up around you, and you hear the sounds of soft jazz playing off in the distance. Oh, that's kinda nice.

And then you begin to see Dancing shadows. Creeping up out of the sides of the swamp, peering from behind the corkscrew trees. You see your shadows looming over you, heavy over you. Is that you? You see two sets of dice spinning off in the distance. Crummy, these are dice you recognize.

These are... These are dice that you've seen held by Remy Garou. No, no, no, no, no. This is a fucking joke, right? And then you see his face looming in front of you. A debt, a contract unfulfilled. All of you see this. I mean, more time, please.

You know this man. You know what he's capable of and what he's willing to do. Just more time, please. And he stares at each of you. We make a deal. A horde of Bullywugs behind him. The shape of a large, black, luminous beast.

It's hard to tell in this darkness what exactly it is, but it looms over him like some sort of wraith. As he stares out at you and he says, in his voice, which I will not do because I am not Mike, that it is time to collect and you're going to pay. I need you all to roll wisdom saving throw.

Cramming, I need to roll. Boy, you ain't got more time. I've come to collect. No, please, please! Thank you, Mike. Oh, you're right. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, oh.

Yeah. And so that happens as you roll at a disadvantage. Me? Yes. 12. Not bad, actually. Uh, that is a 17. Okay.

And Grico? Oh. Oh. I got a 10. The. The. Cremie, you hear this. You hear the yelling, that powerful voice of Remi Guru in your head.

And you see the looming shape behind him that you can't fully, your mind can't wrap around what exactly it is. The darkness and the throngs of Bullywugs as you're making it away through this twisting corkscrew swamp. And you think to yourself for a minute. he can't be here. You hear that little, that little note, that little voice inside of your nose.

We're friends now. That's not him, Grimmie. He's not here. It's just an illusion. You're right, Weasel. It is an illusion. You're out of time, Grimmie, the crew. I got plenty of time.

I ring a fucking contract. Just laugh at it. You're out of time, Grimmy. Get out of here, Remy. You're stronger than he. You took my name, you took my power. But I have hunger that is not easily sated, and you can finally satisfy me, boy.

When you get back from the Faye Wild, you're going to be way more powerful than he ever was. I'm going to surpass you in every way, Remy. And this would be very, I guess you wouldn't know, but me calling him Remy would be a horribly, disrespectful thing that I wouldn't normally do. What do you call me? And with that, you were able to shake it off.

Frost, you look at this and you're still shaken by the horror that you just experienced. This is nothing in comparison to the loneliness, the insanity, the loss of the people that you love, the emptiness that you are feeling. This is a tangible thing that can be overcome. This is not the destruction of your mind. And you shrug it off. You're still feeling that one level of fear. You still have fear seething inside of your bellies, both of you,

but you now have one success. Well done. Well done, Jeremy. Grigo, however, you stare up at this, the bully wugs, these disgusting frog creatures and this horrible looming figure. The beast in black. And the beast in black that looms behind him ever present. And this is horrifying to you as you begin to shake and cower beneath it. I am your doom and I am so voracious.

It's not real, Grico, it's not real. No, no, no, it's fine. It's an illusion, it's an illusion. It's all been illusions this whole time. The monster is that monsters. The cart is the cart rocket straight towards it. You were getting closer and closer and closer. And Remy Gru is looming over you, Grico.

And he's been larger and larger and larger. and larger as you crash into it and sail straight through to the other side. Oh! The cart begins to rocket into darkness. Everything is quiet. Grimmie, I know enough about you to understand that this is something that was very personal to you, and I've had a personal peace attack me as well. Oh God. Grego, as scared as you are, what could this possibly be? Good luck getting Mike to go in the right direction. God, I hope it's not nearly as scary as what we just witnessed.

But it's fine, look, fellas. Look. Is that actually really grew up? I told you. What you were saying he was a scary girl? I was like, oh, he was just a guy on a top boat? He's on a river boat. How scary can we be?

What was that thing behind him? What was that monster? Didn't seem like a friendly monstrosity to me. His, his shadow's got something weird. He's got something hungry to it. I don't fucking know. He's dealing with stuff. They're thinking we need to pay him back immediately.

with interest. Oh, you're gonna have time. Look, we have time. Double interest is gonna be okay. Just don't worry about it, Grick, all right? If that was, Remy, make sure you sent him an invitation to the wedding. As the cart slowly rolls to a stop yet again,

you feel it sit there for one second, two second, three seconds, before it tilts forward and plunges yet again into another illusory realm. And you find yourself in a, you find yourself in a, in a strange realm of purple fields and prismatic skies. But the, these shapes here are, they're shaped like candies and things, but they're partially eaten and warped and not, not exactly what you would hope for. The lollipops have pieces of, of things trapped in them. They look like they're trying to get out. their horrified faces are twisted and scared.

You see bits of taffy that actually look like the melting forms of entities that have been molded and turned into taffy. And then you see it on the other side. A goblin. No, not a goblin. A groblin. Can I play something? In a second.

This grovely, is very similar to a goblin, but not quite what you would expect. Its diminutive form in this realm looks huge as it looms over you. You can tell it would be much smaller. Its feet are large. Its underbite is protruding. Oh, no. Its eyes are beady.

Oh, no. As it begins to do the thing that you all fear it will do most, a jig. Grigo, what the fuck. And we just kind of bouncing twice on one side and twice on the other. It's so two dimensional, but the trodalen looks like it was drawn. And it is just moving back and forth as it does a little jig. And I need to go all the wisdom saving throw. Grico, I need to roll this advantage.

No, I cannot. We're going to have to launching this. Oh, no, no way out. Oh, I roll a natural 20, but then I, uh, it's disadvantaged. Oh, thank God in 18. Oh, I'm going to allow myself to fail this. No, you have to twist it. No, I'm twisting.

I'm twisting this. Fuck this. I'm not. That means not. There we go, 20. Hold on, hold on. Neither four. Oh, you're twisted.

I twisted. A D-100, please. That's not the least scariest thing I think I've ever seen, Rico. 19. I love this song. What is this from? What is the talking about? Oh.

He over. exist in two dimensions. Can you roll again? I figured it out. 45. Oh, gee. It is the full moon. And you think and act like you've been transformed

into a lichenthrope, but in fact you have not. It's not scary at all. No, it's not, but what you're doing is much scarier. And it is in this moment that you see behind the groblins, the full moon appear in the night's sky, you feel this wicked transformation overcome you. This is just not scary at all.

This wicked transformation overcome you. What's happening to me? You can see the silhouette of the grovelet? So with that, I'm assuming you failed, Grico. Yeah, I got a, uh, what was it? Uh, 12. Oh, 12 succeeds, actually. Well, uh, can I twist myself?

Twist himself. Oh, I'll drag me, drag me. I'll dread. Your wisdom's too high. Yeah. Sometimes the DM's gotta dread you. No, it was an 11. I thought I had a plus eight.

I thought I had a plus eight. I don't have to dread you. I thought I had a plus eight and I have a plus seven. Thank you. You look at this thing and you, this is ridiculous. This looks like, this looks like a backdrop at an elementary school play and there are two children behind it just

moving it back and forth. This is, there's nothing scary about this. This is a grobblin. What the hell is a grobbling? And all it's doing is a jig. It's doing some manner of stylish jig. I assume this is gonna be flibble, flabble, gristle, grabble, but this is not.

This is so much scary than flibble, flammable, gristle, Gragel. Oh, no, you're not even close. I thought this might be curvy Dave or. It's a groblin. Oh, it's, imagine that it's just doing a regular sized jig. Ha! Oh!

No? Oh! Guys, I don't like what's happening to me. That goblin wasn't, I mean, Gropin wasn't scary at all, but it's transformed me somehow. What's that? I just wanna...

I'm transforming. I'm transforming... And I'm... Nothing's happening, nothing's changing. No! The Gropin's got in frosting! The Gropin has him! I have a taste for blood!

I told you! I said it in Draconic, so you don't understand what I said. He's speaking Grobblum. He is speaking robin. I want to bite whoever's closest to me. Grick goes in the middle. Good.

Good. I don't have full health. Grick is in the middle because of this. You're gonna kill me. We're not gonna actually get to the fucking adventure. Does a 14 hit? I'm the most useless. No, do it.

I'm in the car. You're an unseen attack or you're behind me? 17? Yeah, that hits me. Oh my God. I love how you guys want to fail so badly. You're like, no, please. Take it. advantage on me. Wouldn't be funny if I broke my shin?

Two damage. I have my hands up like this like an actual aleck. And I'm flailing and I'm all right. I'll attempt to bite more but just keep missing. And I'm basically flailing on the cart for the rest of the ride. And you are. As the cart continues to move through this, Grico, you are moving faster and faster towards this grobbling. The illusion makes it look like, look like. it's jigging towards you.

Faster and faster and faster as it jigs towards you and its two-dimensional form. It won't stop. It's going so fast. It's getting close, it's getting close. And then you sail straight through it. That music is playing all around you. The tinny sound of it is so loud.

Your eardrums feel like they're going to pop. Oh my gosh. It's so tinny. As as Kremi snaps at you from all directions. As eventually you make your way into pitch darkness again. This time, it doesn't stop. It starts to coast upwards. Slowly at first, and then faster and faster and faster and faster

until all of a sudden it rocket straight up and then straight back down. And then straight back up. And then straight back down. And then straight back up. And then straight back down. And then straight back up. And then it coasts forward. And you begin to see a.

pinprick of pure light, the light of outside, the light of the witch-like carnival, as you slowly make your way out of the mystery mine. Your mind's intact. However, as you exit

the butthole of the dragon's tail, you went in the mouth, where else are you coming out? Naturally. You all begin to feel something strange. overtake you. Uh, how many fails did each of you get?

One. One. Oh, no, two. Two. I can hear the music. Um, I'm going for you next. Cremie. One. You are cursed with mildly aggravating misfortune. Fuck. Things like someone ate chips in your bed. Everything bagel.

I ate everything bagels. It's going to be soft. It's going to be soft. ever see one. We all saw our- My mom always warned me about the groplin. I didn't think it was real. We all saw our deepest moriores, Grico.

Oh. It's not real, it was worth of ride. I don't even know. Can you stop chewing on Grico? You're making this worse. Oh, sorry. Honestly, it's not as bad as a groblin. Look, we're in daylight now.

Well, I mean technically. I'm doing an accent, technically. Oh! That's not a knife. I mean, technically, it's a knight, right? I see you've played knifie Spoonie before. But that's all in Trachonics, you can't understand. Oh, he's speaking the grubbling language.

And upon leaving that, that curses ending. Oh, thank you. It is replaced by these new curses, and you will have these for the foreseeable future. Oh, what did I get? Did I get? I haven't picked yours for. you yet because the random thing is giving me like the existential dread ones that require like years

really be worthwhile you're gonna be all right you do um while i'm picking grickos you can continue to do what you need to do uh as you find yourselves outside of the mystery mind you roll to a stop the bar magically uh lifts itself up and you are able to disembark from the ride, and you find yourself on the opposite side of the mystery mind, the rest of the Witchlight Carnival available in front of you. Anyone who got one fail, which is all of you, you still have a horrible sadness or a horrible fear in the pit of your stomach.

Well, at least we can walk again, or at least I can. My fingernails have grown back. Sorry, I bid you. I didn't mean... It's not your fault. It was the grobbling. He got into your mind. He really did. He really did.

I went like full fair. Oh, Groglin is so powerful. I mean, it's a second dimensional being. Oh. Second dimensional. Yes. They travel in the second dimension and then they do a stylish chick. And then you lose your brain.

That makes it less powerful, Grico. Grico, you are now convinced you can talk to plants. You cannot. Can we get out of this mind cart? Yes, I'm standing right here. Just walk out. out yourself. All right, I'll step out thinking, not realizing there's a drop and I'll just fall on my face.

Oh, fuck! Oh! Mind the gap. Oh, my God. You know, you think it they put like yellow tape down or something and make it a little more obvious. Fuck. Zafixo, this is a very poorly run ride. You're supposed to slip Sylvan words into your speech. Zephzo, this was a very poorly run Lopa. It's the Lopra.

I don't know what to tell you. Lopa Labana. You got your ticket punch. Punches water. You prayed on our prognances. You provided your prognances. My prognances has been violated. Willingly.

I'm going to write a very strongly worded zest. I hope you do. Mr. Light will petonian about this. I'll tell Mr. Light you weren't happy about this. No, no, no, no. He's all right. He looked. How do you enjoy the fraud, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you.

you, how do you describe it? If you left a Yelp review. It was IndyC. Attic. Good enough. A lot of do, friend. I love unicorns. Let's get the fuck out of here. About saying another word, I would turn. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Come back and seize again sometime.

Goodbye. I don't know if I want to do any more of those. You randomly burst out in a song. There weren't nearly enough banana. No, no, no, not that song. Pick and pick it. I don't have arms. Oh, I'm doing a manner of stylish jig with an underbub.

I can continue like that. I will grab you by the neck and just start like walking. Owl. All right. It's going to be all right. All right, Grego. It's gonna be a bubble bears. Ah, okay.

All right, I mean, we got time to kill, presumably, until Gids feeling better. Do we wanna go to this bubble pop teapot? I thought perhaps that our Zorn choice could be the Calliope. You know, is it Calliope or is it Calliope? Or is it Calliope? I think it really depends on your

regional ur I'm using context sluze to understand what the fuck you're saying you're saying you don't understand I don't speak whatever the fuck you're saying I'm not sure I le

le sercicame uh what are you saying Frusty you bisquehrely what I'm saying look I think we ah fuck

bit my tongue Is it bleeding? I just did my tongue out. It's pleading. It was like a bunch of teeth marks in my tongue. You really bit your tongue very messed emmy. It's smart. Oh, Kricklecklebone banana, please.

Oh. Do you have any left? Do you have any more Haventon? Yes. One banana, two banana, free banana, four. Five bananas, six banana. How much do I have more? Four.

You have four left. Bananas. You're ten, right? If Jeremy has ten bananas and he gives Ronald four bananas, how many does he have left? Grigo, you're the one that has to solve this problem. I'm not going to help you with this. Grico, tally the bananas.

Hey, Mr. Frosty Man, tell him all bananas. Which lot come and I'd really want to go home. Hey, Jay! Swedes, let's go. What makes you think out from Sweden? I'm just saying that you're both my Swedes, and that we should go to. the calliope?

Is he the calliope or calliope, depending on who he asks? Is that right? As far as I understand it, yeah. Well, heriblex, horiblex. Let's go. You make your way through the carnival, twisting and turning along the roads, or the path in and out of the bear goers. Once again, being constantly congratulated, occasionally given flowers,

or having glitter and confetti tossed upon you. And you do begin to make your way towards the calliope. The music is loud and beautiful. It's a nice sound. As you begin to take stock of it, a merry tunes spills forth through an instrument on the back of a brightly painted wagon. A monkey wearing a cloak covered with buttons, turns a handle at the wagon's rear,

sending music into the air from rows of golden whistles. As you watch, a goblin dressed as a ladybug toddles up to you rattling a tin cup. And as she looks towards you, she says, Spare a button, if you please, I'll sew it next to all of these. I offer nothing in its place besides a smile upon my face. And that's where we're going to end the session. You did such a good job with the voice.

Can I? Can I? Can I, can Grico sing a song? After you called us, called me a swede? No. Can he? No. Yes. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventras podcast.

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