Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 13 | An Elf for All Seasons

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

Fey curses send the party even further off the rails...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/RzjXoRpIfDk?si=koDbm6s9imZLRgNX

What a do? Welcome to Legends of Aventress. My name is Kremlin Kru, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Where the hell is that guy? Have you seen the big red guy around here? You talking about cake chat? Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Real, that's real sad about that guy. He was thrown from the back of pine cone. He's currently in a coma. We're taking him to the emergency pixie room. Unfortunately, we don't allow visitors. People start. you to let you know how excited they are for the new, for the new attraction, the the Witch-like Carnival first annual drag show. And we're gonna go over here to the old mystery mind. Now that you've looked into the all C&I, the mystery mind knows your mind.

It's seen into your soul. Can you survive the horrors within? Sounds kind of fun. And come out the other side. And spooky? Other side hole? I think so. Come on.

No, there's like a comma there, the other side. Home question mark. You feel yourself lurched forward as it pitches downward. You ain't got more time. I've come to collect. So please, please, please. Are you, I remember, Schultz for nine-ness?

Grigger what the fuck. What the fuck? coasts forward and you begin to see a pinprick of pure light, the light of the witch-like carnival as you exit the butthole of the dragon's tail. You know, is it chalyopia or is it chalyope? Or is it chalyope? A goblin dressed as a ladybug, tumbles up to you rattling a tin cup. Spare a button if you please. I'll sew it next to all of these.

I offer nothing in its place besides a smile upon my face. You are still at the Witchlight Carnival. It feels like fucking forever. It feels like 12 days, but it's only been a handful of hours. Yeah. As you journey through the many amusements that the carnival has to offer. Last session, you found yourselves enjoying the twists and turns of the... What?

What? What was this reacting to that we would be enjoying the twists and turns of? Why are you shaking your head like that? We were twisting and turning. Or that you didn't enjoy it? I assume you're referring to the minds. Yes. Why would Frost enjoy being confronting one of his deepest fears?

I wasn't finished with my sentence, Derek. That's why. I was just anticipating. Inticipating. I was anticipating. I'm having word problems. both sides of my face look all right why does everything smell like burning feathers

why does everything smell like burning feathers half of my face is numb that's normal right Jesus Christ I love you guys you enjoyed the twist and turns of the minds we did Derek you did I enjoyed it

it was however the psychic damage that you did not enjoy as your minds were warped and you were confronted with your worst fears mixed in with some roller coaster shenanigans. All the while, you are, I hope, thinking about your friend Gideon, who is locked away in a pixie hospital

being treated by Fixi, Dr. Fixi, the Pixie, who is attempting to bring him out of a coma after being flung off the back of a unicorn pug named Pinecote. And that is really all that you got done last session. What else did you get done then, Derek? We ran from a pizza flinging flivel, flabble bristle grangle. In the mine.

No, that was before the mime. Oh, what's that? Yeah, no. Flible, floggle, grizzle. Grisle gristle. all churned up in the machine. Yeah, he disappeared at the mine. I'm so sorry.

Please forgive me for forgetting that. So we're gonna have to speed this up as what you're saying. I will return. Guys, I propose that we just beat up Mr. Witch. Give me a fucking witch. Very inconvenience. It is after the mine that you decide

to make your way towards something that has been ever present at this carnival. The sounds of the calliope as it plays throughout your adventures here. and you make your way, Frost having diminished his ticket completely, knowing that you're to continue to enjoy what the carnival has to offer. You will have to make your way back towards the ticket booth. As you make your way towards it,

you decide to stop at the Calliope, where you are met with a monkey in an outfit as he is grinding away at the Calliope, turning the handle, and a goblin woman dressed up like a ladybug as she holds a jar filled with buttons and she says to you, spare a button if you please.

I'll sew it next to you all of these. I offer nothing in its place besides a small upon my face. Hey that, fellas? I can, you know, please join this place by giving them a button. Very charming. What is your name, young lady? Oh, Miss Buttons!

It's like very elderly. Oh, you can call me Merrigold. Marigold, that's a very nice name. Oh, yeah, and the monkey behind the colloquy, his name's Ernest. Ernest the monkey? Yeah. Ernest the monkey. There's something in there.

Oh, remember when Ernest went to jail? Yes. Yes, I also recall when he would get up on ladders. and for five minutes, talk to some sort of unseen partner. His warlock patron.

Yes, yes, and then he was all backwards. It's like how Kremi says would you kindly, he would say, you know what I mean? And that was how he activated his warlock power, yeah. You know what I mean? Cheers to Jim Barney just real quick. Yeah.

Fucking champion legend. Miac. Oh. Yeah. Oh, Ernest, remember when Ernest got scared stupid? been. I do.

Did you not go to the zoo too? No, I'm not thinking of something else. Ernest went to the zoo. There was also a Christmas shenanigans, Madcap comedy. Oh yeah. Ernest. Anyway, Marigold, it's very nice to meet you. I don't know where Christmas is.

I knew a fella named Chris Muz. Yeah, was this another one of your uncles? No, that's the worst, the most ridiculous name I've ever heard on my whole house. I've heard of my whole bunch. You have so many uncles, I just thought. I have a lot of uncles, but none of them named Chris. That's a ridiculous name. It's like fairy tale name.

It's not like a normal name like Globo. What a do? The name is Cremant LeCrew. I love unicorns and you're just looking for buttons? I'm not going to be able to keep with this accent. No, we can eat it. It's the closest he's going to get to getting his coat back. Oh.

Ernest. Oranish lost a coat? Well, he lost his old body. That's the problem. Oh, how do we? What? It's a horrible tale. And if you give up a button from each of your coats, I'll tell it to you.

Well, I mean, does that have to be from a coat? Well, it can be a button from anywhere, really. I can't do it. I just can't do this accent. It's going to turn into L'IQaeda. It's just going to turn into Lique Quinn every single time. It's just, it's all the picky. It's going to be just, it's all the picky.

talk like I'm too much. You know, it's interesting. It's like, all the ticket takers and the pixies are ladies and we're like, I'm like, gosh, what wins they're going to be a male pixie? It's like, oh, this is a ducted pixie. And that's Mr. Pixie, fixit. Yes. His name's Fixi. Fixet. Fixi. Fixie. Fixie. Is his name, perhaps, Fixie? Yes, his first name is Fixie. Did they even have last names? I guess we ought to flogged it. Yeah, we had a flog did. I assumed his last name was Fixie. No, his first name's Fixie.

So is he Fixie, Fixie, or is it just one word Fixie? His last name's Dixie. No, it's Normas. No, that's his brother, Dixie. Dixie Normus. How does he fly? It's like a bumblebee. No one knows.

More like a mosquito. No, that's balzy flopping. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I saw him do. Oh, and there's been this humongous. That's right, that's right. Yeah.

They all got too close to the Ferris wheel. There was a catastrophe. They all died. Oh, poor, poor brisket. Oh, I'll reach into the attack and I will plot three buttons. If I can. Yeah. I will give you a little.

button for past, present, and future Marigold. Here, take them for free. That's very haggish. She reaches out and lets you place it in the thing in her little button back. I'll drop them one at times. And you will hear a voice from behind her as the cliope continues to move.

Thanks for that. I really like my buttons. You're welcome, Ernest. Are you getting tired? I'm always tired, but since my body left, there's not much I can do about it. This isn't your original body? He continues, he continues to crank the wheel.

And you see, if monkeys could have a look of sadness on their face, you would see a look of sadness across his face. I think they probably can. Not this monkey. Oh, wow. It was a long time ago, but we saw me. I didn't get enough sleep for your shenanigans yet. I'm trying to make a fad monkey face.

Yeah, so anyway, that's what he looks like. What was they saying? Fuck, you're making this really difficult. You've lost your body. Oh, we're so shy. Long time ago when a monkey loses his body. And then you're trailed off. So jest turned disaster.

I wasn't always the Calliopee master. That rhymed. That was nice. Oh, did it. A jest turned. disaster, calliope master. Yes, it did rhyme. I thought calliope and master. I'm like, that doesn't

wrong at all. I didn't master in known poetry, though. I switched bodies with the original calliope owner. Oh, what was that body like? Oh, I guess it's the monkey. Middle-aged human man. That's where my brain came from.

So you're actually, you have the mind of a middle-aged guy. Yes. And you're in the body of a monkey. was put into my body. You don't think this is kind of an improvement? And it turned disastrous. My body ran away.

It's been many years since I've seen it. I think about the inverse of that. Years. So somewhere out there, there's a mindless body? A monkey-minded body. A monkey-minded body. Yes.

Somewhere out in the world, there's a monkey-minded body. Oh, that he's doing all right. It's taking good care of your body. I'm sure it's getting plenty of potassium. Wait a minute. Gosh, remember in Ogway? Remember in Ogway when we were walking down

the street and then that hairy naked guy came out from the alley and threw his shit at us? Yeah, I do. Do you think that was him? I always thought he was under some sort of terrible drugs from any drugs in Ogway. Yeah, I thought he fell victim

to the unscrupulous. business activities of Remy Guru, who, you know, he shows. It's time for a curse. Oh, no. That's just how people act in Agway. I mean, that's not out of the norm. I mean, that's just, can I be avoided because of the Pedasium joke? No.

I'm really proud of it. No, you can't. Oh, don't I normally break in your soul? Somewhere down the streets of Agway, there's just this like regular human. It is. Me and my monkey, my funky monkey, me and my monkey, my funky monkey. You can keep talking.

So where do you get those buttons in your pack? I like to keep all kinds of trinkets and things that I find. I actually can't even recall where I got the three buttons. Oh, don't have any buttons. You don't have any buttons? No, it's all the zippers. Well, it's a good thing they invented that 233 years ago, otherwise

you'd be out of luck for zippers. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's kind of more just like tassels. You happen to know the history of how zippers came to be. Oh, yes, a great no-mish inventor. He was trying to create Velcro and instead he accidentally produced zippers.

What the fuck is Velcro? The concept is that it would be two pieces of fabric that would stick together and be able to come away from each other with a terrible ripping sound, but be able to be re-merged and sealed, so to speak. Oh, like tape.

Very similar to tape. Sort of more like the top of a Ziploc bag, if you've ever heard of that contraption. What? That's another gnomish event. Yeah, is that another gnomish invention? You guys need to study your gnomish invention history. It's a fascinating world of anachronistic

qualities. Why do gnomes get to be all anachronistic? Why is it's for them? You'd have to ask the gnomes. Only the gnomes know. I feel like they're hiding their technology from the rest of us. Almost certainly. I feel like it's not very nice.

When we're done with this and we've paid our debts and we have unlimited income, perhaps we can investigate this great mystery. I'd love the intellectual pursuit. You can only speak in rhymes. Oh! If you just rhyme with that over and over, he'll be all set.

Yo! Oh, no, Frosty! I'm about to get accostied on this monkey That's all right Derek, can you roll a D4 for me Please Four

You turn into a summer alladron Oh Somebody once told me The world was gonna row me Or ain't the sharpest tool in the shed I can do like follow-up rhymes, right? She was looking kind of done with a finger and her fomit the shape of an hour on her forehead.

I read the rhyme and the hands so it counts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you start coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming. You can't stop coming and they don't stop coming. Oh, is you cheating? Yeah. Griko, I don't know you've seen this song. This is such a nice song, Graco.

I learned it from. The ogre mitt. You become, Cremie, you become incredibly clumsy. How does this thing work? Is it sort of powered by, like, do you mind if I take a look inside? No, that's fine.

Did you donate buttons to the jar? Oh, I don't know if I have any buttons in my bag, but you can have one of the extra buttons they sew on me inside of my coat in case I lose one, so. I'll take it. Still pretty valuable. It's shiny.

Thanks. Ernest, have you tried to get back your body? Like, there's nothing you've been doing. You just running this Calliope and going around with the carnival. Like, why wouldn't you leave? Weren't you a cat just like two seconds ago? I don't know what you... Oh my God.

Oh my God. What's happened to my body? You've got a bald. This is weird. He's just blonde-haired, blue-eyed, a dog. You basically look like young Fabio. Did you get body swapped? Or are you still born in front?

I've got no fur. I've got a tan. And the drummer is a girl. Look at this potty. Their bass has glasses. Did this just happen and you guys didn't say anything? Why would you not say anything, Grico, Kremi? I mean, nothing surprises me at this point. You know what? I'm gonna change these.

Oh, I don't know. Hold on real quick. I want you to roll a D4. You can forget the rhyming. You can forget the rhyming and you can forget the clumsiness. I want you both to roll a D4 because you're all just going to turn into Eladron.

Two. You are an autumn Eladron. Far out. Oh, why. So all Elatron are going to be serving eyes. That's pretty out of bounds, man. You got like a bronze tan thing going. Yeah, you got like a golden tan thing, my dude.

Yeah, nice, my dude. I think I'm going to roll my own. I think I'm going to enjoy some pumpkin spines. Just real quick, as this change. is I'm gonna be sort of leading up against the calliope and then I'm gonna trip and fall, and I wanna attempt to like accidentally knock it over. The calliope?

Yeah. Okay. I assume that you were gonna do the handle and it would just give like a single hoot out as it like rotated like halfway. I just wanna basically like stumble and collapse on top of the calliope. Whatever that would do to it. One.

You are a spring alladron. And actually for the sake of this, why don't you explain what your characters look like now? as you take on the visage of a ladder of different courts of the Faywild fine, I won't be a something

you'd be that for some I look like Matthew McConaughey and the human version of Shrek had a baby perfect can you have long blonde hair though? Oh totally like it's like right down to here

it's like Aragonling perfect yeah really nice you don't fucking sure okay I'm winter Are you autumn? Yeah. I mean, Kirk has clearly gotta be autumn, man. He rolled it, so.

Cremie, are you all right? You fell down real hard. Do you, can you help me up, please, boy? Sure, thing, yeah, no problem. Yeah. And I'm gonna get up and I am a large blue elf with a big white bushy beard. And a little blue like hat,

just basically blue sandpots. and I've put on plenty of insulation for the winter. The cold harsh winters in the winter cord. Oh, dude, you got like real old. Why does this always happen to me? Your cheeks are all rosy and crazy. But you look cold at the same time. Well, actually, I don't feel cold at all.

Well, maybe because you weren't all them winter clothes. clothes. Well, you're not wearing anything. I'm wearing this like golden speedo and these flip flops. And that's it? Well, aren't you a little bashful? Do you have no shame? No, no, I don't have any shame. I even got these sweet ass wings on my back. And as he turns around, you see that the speedo isn't just a speedo. It is a thong. I am not the surfer bro. I plead that for summer. I am a bronzy orange, alladron, but I have a big black cape.

And I look like I stepped out of Spear Halloween. I have slicked back black hair. And I will be holding a glass of a tomato juice. What is wrong with all of you? Dude, you're changing. All this change. It's like rat in the waves. Are you going to finish that?

Of course. This is blood. No, that's tomato juice. Now it's blood. That's like tomato juice. Got any vodka, Marigold? She says no. Do you think you got any virgin to body?

You got any retribes? I'm just, I'm a monkey with a middle-aged man's brain. You should be drinking vodka. Oh, I forgot you were a monkey. So you gave me a button? I did. Oh. I have a lot more buttons now, if you'd like.

You slip and fall onto the thing. I did, yeah. Like, as I'm transforming into this large blue Eladron man, I will collapse on the chlyopoe. I'm going to roll to see what happens the chlyopoe. That's fine. Okay. I rolled high. So you fall

onto it and you are sprawled on top of the calliope, but it doesn't seem to take any damage. It's sturdy. Be careful. I'm just really over it. Oh, books! You gotta be more careful, borough? Just like...

I crave virgin blois. God, come here, Frosty. I'm not a budget, bro. Bo-hoo, do you say. Morning, Chad, Dracula, Grim-Grum and Santa LaCro. Unicorns. Well, I suppose you can have all of the buttons of my Vambambire clothes.

I'm going to get put on a list. I throw all of the buttons. Not before he does. I don't have any buttons anymore. I gave you those three, but like, look. We're all a bunch of illandering sex pets. I'm not a pervert. I'm just an elandering.

I pull out oil from nowhere. You do. You pull out a really nice coconut oil and begin to lather up your body. Oh, coconut's my favorite. It smells good, and it rubs good, and you can put it in your... hair and you can eat it, you can do all kinds of stuff. Yeah, I'm gonna-

It also makes good lubricant. I'm just gonna keep playing the Calliope. Oh, I forgot, too. The monkey man was still here. You remember the extra bananas? I don't really like bananas. Oh, that went with- monkey.

But I have the brain of a middle-aged human man. Well, I mean, you'd think it'd rub off after years. No. What would rub off on the monkey? Maybe the being inside the body of a banana-eating monkey. No, dude. Like, I can't imagine you acquire the taste for bananas just because you get transported into a monkey body.

You don't suddenly want to start throwing your shit, like that guy in Agway, right? We all just became sex pets. I don't know about you guys. I'm going to do some push-ups. You know, now you think of the Grigo, I do feel this old. Are you doing one-arm of push-ups?

Well, that is just Be Farewild. You cannot be in Defeiwild without being a little horny. Isn't that right, Mr. Monkey Man? I've never been to this. I crave carnal pleasures beyond mortal comprehension. I mean, you could try going over to Silver Song Lake and checking out the mermaid with the big hooters. Does she have big hooters?

Why do we waiting for? What? Are we going to really do this? Yeah. I don't know. It stops us. Repets the void of no return. What's the long way to the Swan Lake?

Unless. Oh, where are we going? Just remember that Frost does need to get a new ticket. Oh, we gotta get a new ticket. Oh, a new ticket. My tickets are punched. I shall murder the ticket taker. No, why would you do that?

And drain him of his delicious blood. No, no, no. We gotta just go and pay for it without like, you know. But with what? Our money. You don't have any money. I thought good. You're a bum who lives on the beach.

You play guitar. and think people will pay you because you do a shit here in addition of Vonderval. It's pretty good, all right? It sucks. No one wants to hear it at the party. I thought it was called the Prismatic Wall. I can't keep track. In the autumn court, it is just wonderful.

There's no pun. Ernest, Marigold, are you sure there's nothing we can be doing to help, like, brighten your day? She doesn't say anything. She's collecting buttons from me. Oh, Mary Gold, I wish to hear your beautiful voice. I have completely given up my belief. I wish to hear your beautiful voice.

I practiced that fucking poem for so long. I'm like, I've got this. And then the moment I've just started improvbing it, I'm like, nope. Read me some poetry, Mary Gold. You can read the same poem. Over and over again. Yeah, you clearly worked really hard on that poem. I want to hear it again.

Ernest, are all of my buttons from my silk trousers appropriate for your body. You all look and you see that Grico has taken the buttons off of his silk trousers

and they are now pulled around his ankles. My name is Count Chocolat. I love that I tell you autumn elandron and this is where you're doing. Oh, you're saying chocolate? No, suck alive. It's fancy. No, that's just chocolate.

No, it is, no, it is a, oh, the classic autumn court name. No one's gonna get on board with that. I'm alive, my whole line, them great feared bum by. Do you have any chocolate here? I can't, Curse of Chod instead of straw.

Curse. I rule from the great fortress of Spirit Halloween. It's nice to meet you, count chocolate. No, it's suckalaw. It's nice to meet you, count chocolate. It's suckal. No, chock, do it.

It's suckal. You realize all of a sudden that though it has never moved before, the calliope has now made its way down the, down the road. You're getting away. And it's somewhere else. That government really didn't want to talk to us. We gave it all our buttons, maybe. She just thought this was over.

Oh, no. My pants. Let's stay up anymore. Let's waddle over to the girl and ask her for a poem. Oh no, wasn't there a cosplay repair station? Let's get into the station. Let's go into safety peace.

Oh, sweet. Let me get on my segue. You can leave the pads off. You get on the tensors floating disc. Oh, shit. This is harder to control that I'm not. No, I've been to commando today. Jesus.

I got Count Chocola. And your name is... I think I'm still grabbing the crew. I'm not exactly... No, I was saying you don't give yourself an Eladron name. You have taken on the persona of an Eladron. I'm the King of Frost.

Oh, that sounds vaguely familiar. My name's Brett. Yes. Will we appear at the grand ball at the crowning of the witch-like monarch? We will be emissaries from the Fairwild, the King of Frost. the count of chagolade.

A cosplay repair station. Well, that was free. Yeah, I will say for the sake of Bremeny, here is a cosplay repair station immediately next to the ticket booth. Oh, wow convenient. Oh, do you have a glue gun? I burned my hands.

Oh, wait. There is an anime convention nearby. The blood of virgins. And he disappears in that crowd. I'll go to the ticket. I save you pin my pants. He saved you pin your pants, perfect. You go to the ticket booth.

And you go to the ticket booth. And you see that same goblin as he's standing there. Yo, like, this only goes up to like 10 punches and Brett needs more punches in order to enjoy the carnival. That's gonna be two gold pieces. Well, that's three. My Speedo's made of gold. Does that work for you?

I don't even like, if you have a, like, like an exchange program. I could trade some shorts for these fetos. Old pieces each, is that right? We will take ten. Well, let's not get hasty. We don't want to give away all of our issues. Each ticket's gonna be two gold pieces.

All right, can you take off your socks for me, please? What? I'm sorry, what? I'm sorry, Vaugh. If you could take off your socks, I could pay you. I'm sorry, Vonn. Why do you need me to take my socks off to pay me? So I could complete the payment.

Would you kindly take your socks off? Throw a persuasion, check. No, I can't forget you. Find out next time. Has Rich made a decision that his character is in defeat and he just wants to see feet? Or is he on with something else? I'm in the, what's your DC?

17, I think. You're 16. Yeah, you fail. All right, let's see you. Dude, it's totally more bend this way. You just walk around barefoot all the time. It's sweet. It's unhygienic.

You see his eyes kind of glaze over. He's, I'm not gonna do, I'm not gonna stop myself from doing that. And he picks up one foot and slams it down onto the counter in front of you. Oh, there we go. And you watch is, or you see as he kicks his shoes off first, so he slams one foot up on the counter. He's got these green and brown striped socks. You can tell that he's probably been wearing these for months. They're clearly not clean at all as he grabs the tip of them and slowly pulls them off. His goblin feet are thin and elongated. He's got a very, very deep arch.

The yellow toenails on his, on his toes are pointy and cracked and long and a little bit curved. as you see like the lint from his socks stick to them. We do a sponge bob close up. It's exactly what it looks like. He then takes the other foot and he slams it down on the counter and pulls the sock off and you see a very similar, you see a very similar image. Both feet look to be about the same size.

How do you satisfy the King, Dedentino? Well, not yet. I guess you gotta give them to me. It's magical and shit. He hands to his dirty old socks. And I will, we own six gold pieces. So from the bag, I'll take out three gold pieces and put them in one, three gold pieces and put them in another, and I'll take out a little hammer and a nail.

And I'll just nail him up on the ticket stand. There you go, boy. Yeah. It's festive. Look at how much more festive this ticket booth looks now. And he's paid. Wait, why do you need two of them? Well, because I'm almost out.

I only have two punches left. Not a little shit. I only have one ticket looks now. Well, should we just pretend this is, well, let's just say for the sake of it. For the sake of it, yeah. Who gets one? You do, because yours is completely- I am the count- Thank you.

Chocolah! Chagola! I wish to make a Faye-Pact for more tickets. Plenty ago? No, I do not have a soul. I can't trade it away. They loophole. Well, you can only have one ticket in your possession at a time.

Oh. So until, until your ticket has run out. you cannot have a second one. Now that's a convenient. You're loophole. Ah, I've been out the loophole. My degree in law is useless. You could, if you wanted to, you could make a pact for your next ticket,

and we could hold it at the booth for you, and you could come back and get it when your ticket has run out. If you want to make the pact early. Ooh, that sounds like a deal, bro. You can get like a... Peggy down payment. Down famet. That's ridiculous.

Oh, Brett's wrong care. In the Faye Wild, that is where we are from, so Faye puns are useless to us. Thanks for the ticket, my good man. You're welcome, bro. May the wind under your wings never falter. Brett out. Let's go before it's let's enjoy some aside bowls.

Let's go before he reeled covered chocolate. coins. Oh, you got gold covered chocolate corn? Of course. Oh, I shouldn't. I shouldn't. No, the way we made, there's only one way to make it more festive. Spider-Webgun.

Woo-hoo! I pull out a bazook and just two shitty shredded and cotton everywhere. I pull out two t-shirt canon. Sure. Yes. From literally nowhere.

I started playing laser tag. Are we going to... No, last I heard, there was a mermaid with big boobs. Yeah. We're going to lake. Well, while we're sex pests, we're in the free while. Why do you keep saying that? I'm going to go boogie board.

While being a sex pest, they're not mutually exclusive. In fact, actually, most people on a boogie board, more often than not, they will be a sex pest. I mean, the board is kind of firm. What? Let's go. Cobbwab gone. Your t-shirts say summer, Chad.

Yeah, hell yeah. And so you're just shooting t-shirts in the crowd. Everyone's really excited. Grico, you cobweb gun, a kid to a wall. He's screaming and crying while his parents' trip. Therm is cobwebs to a wall. His mother is freaking out as she's trying to pry him. off of the wall. I only knew that kid's name

was Thurmka's the name tag. Happy if it's like Cardinal. And it's not Derek got it's like a total nerd. Oh, look at these stupid sweater for too much. Derek dies instantly.

I'm allergic to this shit. It's in my beard. Synthetic on with microfilers. You broke my glasses. the anatomically incorrect skeleton creatures. Bone octopus! Go! There's someone running behind you with a fog machine,

pouring oil in and hitting the button more times than it needs. It's Neil. This vampire guy's really cool. And of course, the dear bride! My dear bride, the slutty alien girl, queen of Spirit Halloween. We go to the mermaid.

Snarly. I must fucking throw. You're not under that curse. But it's his favorite way. You know that you have a couple of things left. You know that you have the bubble pot, tea pot. teapot ride and you know that you have you know that you have the um the uh silver song like and i think that's it well we should probably go to the bubble pop teap pop pop I thought we were going to go to the lake so that we could ride the waves it is a lake there are no waves there can be

latent waves. It depends on the lake. We gotta go and find out the vibe. And if it's like totally tranquil, perhaps we will meet my dearest friend, the creature from the black lagoon, the silver song lagoon. Lake. Lake. If it's like totally tranquil, we can like do... He hates when we call him that. His real name is Dennis.

I want to do some like tubing, man. Have you ever been pulled over? around in the tube and then like it turns real fast and you get whipped off it's crazy fun pulled by what you're going to get pulled off and whipped off exactly yeah what exactly that is the ridiculous by some kind of sea monster perhaps this uh sea monster that you know from the lake ah we will go to the lake and get pulled off by themis let's go i get on my segue Form of bat! I just run aly fast.

Fucking bat! You're already way ahead of this because like reindeer and sat down, you're honest, like, you don't disappear. There are a bunch of pumpkin corns that fly and they're leading my parents. You make your way through the twisting, through the twisting streets of the witch-like carnival, and you begin to head, you check your map, it's covered in whiskey, and you check your map and find the location of Silver Sun Lake as you begin to make your way there, once again, passing the Calliope as you make your way. And you eventually arrive.

Mist gathers at the banks of a shimmering lake. Near its center, a mermaid lounges in a giant bowl, singing a glorious haunting song that captivates spectators on the lakeshore. In response, the lake water coalesces into magical sculptures that whirl around her as she performs. The glass bowl that she resides in is shaped like a bubble. It has gold filigree attached to it that is shaped like coral. And she twists and turns inside of it. Her song underwater still echoing out around you.

It truly is a haunting, melody, the sounds of the music of the deep, her beautiful blue skin melding with her iridescent blue scales. And she's in like a giant suspended orb of, we're going to go play Blitz Bowl. I was just going to fucking change that. God damn it's not suspended. It's almost like a fishbowl. I knew you were going to go.

I knew it. I'm going to fucking snipe this shit from Derek. Yeah. You got to be quicker than that. You gotta be quicker than that. You watch as she dances within the water, bubbles are forming and then shooting up out of the top and spray raining down around you as they pop.

And you get a little wet as these bubbles pop on you. You see that she is inside of the glass bowl. There are jellyfish that are swirling around her and almost dancing along with her and making patterns. And as she begins to continue to sing, you watch as a swarm of quippers leaps out of the water and begins to form different images and symbols and dancing along with her music. And it is quite beautiful as you watch the crowd cheer. But interspersed throughout it, you hear voices as someone or a handful of people seem to be. to be heckling her. And every time they say something derogatory or demeaning, she falters a little,

but catches herself. And I would say all of you roll a perception check for me, please. Or an insight check. Insight, yeah. I don't want to come. We've done in master. We roll. But I do also want a perception check from you as well. First roll of the night, everybody. I've rolled. For me. Oh, God. And we roll like D-4s and stuff, right? I got a 22. Boer. Is that your, um, Insight?

That is. Perception as well, please. Oh, totally. It's the same for me when I got the roll. D&D beyond. I got a 17 for perception check. Any insight? And insight was a 12.

1915, insight perception. Okay. Okay. Insight perception. Okay. The two of you, Frost and Kremi, can see that Palasha is clearly distracted and not just because there are hecklers in the audience, but that even though she has a smile on her face as she performs, that there is a deep sorrow that she is dealing with and that she is, she is

filling her song with those emotions. But that it is, this heckling is definitely distracting her. And it's making that visage crack as she's trying to keep up the performance. Frost. What was your perception again, Grico? Oh, perception was an 18. Okay, perfect. The two of you...

The 17th, the two of you notice as you, as you, as you, as you look around the audience, that the heckling seems to be coming from one place. Though the voice seems to reverberate in different areas, because you have met her, you can clearly see that kettle steam is in the audience and using mimicry and ventriloquism to be able to heckle from different areas of the audience. And as she does this, you can see that the mood of this area is slowly starting to deteriorate. As the more this happens, the more distraught Palosha is becoming. Her dance moves are less fluid.

Her voice cracks. You can see the look of joy on her face slowly turning to sadness. I see which one I think is Kettlestein. Do I get a sense of like that one? I would say with those roles, you're able to. tell that kettle steam is the one that is causing the trouble. But I don't know who in the crowd. But she is darting in and out and using her ability to disguise herself to constantly change what she looks like.

I thought we agree. Do not do that. Is she going rogue? No, she said she'd do what she wanted to do. No, if you remember. No, she said she was going to do that so we could save the day, right? Dungeon Master. Yes. She said she was. Let's kill her and drink her blood. No, that's not what we're going to do. We're going to find her. stop her. We'll find her and kill her and drink her, blah. Maybe we could roast her. And stuff her with parsnips. That's awful. Why would you want to do that? That's like a living being. That's a terrible thing to do. Parsnips, blah! A living bird thing?

Oh, yaw! Let's try to get the crowd to like over-under-heckle. Oh yes! Let us work up a crowd into an angry posse. They will gather to Orches and Beach Forks. No, no, let's- My old pal Frankenstein died that way. I'm saying we try to work them up and like, get him to all like cheer and clap and like yell out positive shit.

Look at the big brain on- Sounds like he's more of a fucking nerd. Positivity? Only a summary ladron would be so stupid. Let's just let it like, guys, like, start clapping. Perhaps. I'm talking like you. One.

If you use your t-shirt can in the crowd, it'll hyper-go. Yo, this singing is amazing. I would like you to roll a performance check. Oh, I will join. This singing is amazing. This was made for me. Spooky mist, haunting music. It was made for Count Chocolars. Now it seems like a great time for a twist,

because I got a nanny one. Let's go. We're just singing it. We're just thinking, boom. I'm casting predigitation as if I'm like shooting cold and snow. Not that much better to help him. What's Brett gonna get a 37? I didn't even know I could count that high.

Whoa. 37. Who was the last person you killed? Brett respects all human life. But Frost almost certainly has killed someone. He's the one who killed Kirby Dave. Canonically, I don't think that's true, because didn't we,

weren't we gonna meet Kirby Dave? Scurvy Dave. Oh, that was Scurvy Dave. Yeah, you're gonna meet Scurvy Dave. We never canonically said what happened to Curvy Dave. Yeah, no. Derek said that he fell overboard and drowned, but then I said that his ass was a flotation device

and he survived. I just, I'm gonna make this decision knowing that probably I'm gonna be haunted by four pirates in the next future. we'll say that the last person Frost killed was Kirby Dave for some reason Mike Can you be the voice of Kirby Dave?

You got this, girl, you're doing amazing. You are now haunted by the voice of the last person you killed. You'll never find me buried treasure or me dummy thick cheeks. Who is that? Curvy Dave? I will never forget when ye

tipped me overboard. Oh, hell, it was a total accident, dude. You could have swam back up to... And my airbags did not function as flotation devices. Why is you a pirate if you can't swim, bro? No pirate can swim. Your ass is too fat.

You go right to the bottom. That's not how that works. I still... Well, actually, fat is floating. It's buoyant, as I say. Brett doesn't know that, okay? Oh, I can't hear this.

What the fuck are you talking about? What? Oh, no, I'm just being visited by the ghost of Curvy Dave. And what was your role for your performance check? Oh, nine. You let loose your cannons, and you do launch some T-shirts into the crowd, but you are distracted by this voice of Curvy Dave as it, as it begins to resound in your ear and you launch a t-shirt

directly at a woman in the crowd hitting her square in the face. She screams and falls over. The crowd, her nose is bleeding. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's Kirby Day's fall. And a bunch of people start panicking, not realizing what's going on. She starts to get trampled but people are able to help her up.

Everyone's yelling. Palasha starts to thrash around inside of her. No, no, it's cool. Everyone stay cool. In your head, you hear. Stop. Stop, your dummy thick ass. It's making me distracted, you know?

Bravo. And that wasn't Miennes. I recognize those cheeks. It's canonical that Kirby Dave collapsed with his ass. How can you do it so slow? It doesn't make any sense. Man, are you okay? I'm so sorry.

I run up to the. a woman. I will stop it. Oh, a cobweb gun! I shouldn't shoot a kettle steam with the cobweb god. Okay, roll a, well, that wouldn't be performance anymore. That would, I guess roll to attack. Do I get a cobweb? I just improvise a cobweb gun. No, I mean, this is, this is... I love to be very wild!

But you will be at disadvantage because she is constantly changing. You don't know who she is. Uh, do I use my decks or... my strength? Yes. Maybe Dex. I would say Dex, yeah. That would be

18. Wow. Her AC was 17 because of the fact that she is disguising herself. She had addition to A.C. But you are, you're oddly enough able to shoot the

the web cannon and it's basically wand of web is what you're using. And you're able to do that and you are, you trap her in this sticky black or the sticky white web. You're trapped in my sticky goo. And she is currently in the form

of a small halfling child. And seeing you do this, she Oh, why didn't it have to be a child? She begins to cry, and the crowd starts to panic even more as they watching. She's a small child in a web, and she just begins to ball and cry for her mommy. You're going to create a crowd crush. Stop. Man, are you okay?

I'm sorry, I got distracted and I shot you in the face. I know, just like use the t-shirt to mop up all the blood. She looks up at you. She's missing one of her teeth. Her nose is broken and bleeding. One of her eyes is really, really puffy. And you see that the people around her are using the two shirts to kind of try and mop up the blood and, like, hold it up against her nose.

You need Daffy right away and clean up that blood so that my friend doesn't see because he loves blood. Oh, yeah, his sticky white goose everywhere. It was this guy over here. Look at his pony tail. Are you trying to blame it on a random guy at the carnival? Roll a deception. Mikey's just standing there.

Hey guys. The 18. I'm just going to go to see how well they do. Okay. The crowd has been so distracted with this woman that was hit in the face with this t-shirt canon that most of them didn't even notice what happened with the kid in the web. you aren't able to toss the

web bazooka to the side and they turn and look at this guy who's eating a stick of pixie floss. He's got a ponytail tied behind his head. He's wearing a shirt that says Dick the birthday boy.

He looks like a pervert and is not just because he's Italian. And he's very clearly Italian and he looks shocked. As the crowd turns to him and they start shouting pervert. Pervert, he's wearing cargo shirts and Felipe flies. With socks.

They get worse. With socks. And people look at his feet, they're like, why the fuck are you wearing socks? And they start yelling pervert at this man. Pervert. And he says, I'm not a pervert, I'm Mikey. And they begin to start chasing me.

to me. Listen to his pervertly voice. King of Frost, you have to help, but the mood is gonna go way down. Can you summon some bananas for the poor injured woman? Oh, I can do even better to fix your face straight from the kingdom of Spirit Halloween.

And I'm gonna pull out a scream mask. You do? Here cover your disgusting ruin the face. She actually gladly grabs as she's holding, they've torn off a piece of the t-shirt, basically the part that just says Chad, and they have begun to stuff it into her nose to try and stop the blood, using it to wipe up her face,

and she pulls the scream mask down over her face as a couple of members of the crowd, lift her up and begin to carry her toward one of the nearest Candy Striper Pixie stands. Well, I think you should make some bananas, Just in case, you know? Shut, banana, words. Why didn't you make bananas for Ernest earlier?

You would have loved bananas. Ernest, I'll bring them right to her. Because if I showed up in this form, he would have been scared, stupid. That's fair. That makes total sense. I get it. Thank you.

Thank you for explaining that. But now, Dracula's are allergic to bananas. Bananians. It is a strange concept from the new world. Bananias. Everyone opens them from the wrong end, too. Don't forget you're also curvy dame still. Oh.

Lady, lady, you got your mask. You go find some taffy. You're gonna be just fine. It's gonna be all right. Look, everybody just calm down. I was supposed to have my wedding photos tomorrow. tomorrow. You're going to look great.

That taffy's going to make you look like a princess. You're going to be fine. He's wrong with you. I slipped. There was a voice of a curvy pirate. I once went to a wedding. What? And I busted every seam I had with my dump truck ass.

He's talking about his dump track ass right now. Don't you hear that? Get me out of here. Give me away from this guy. I don't think I was able to help. Oh, God, I can hear how to reverberate through the... Echoing through my mind. I thought I just realized that you were doing.

I like forgot from like five minutes and... That clap is... Oh, keep the bonnayas away from me. We need to find the way and cheer the crowd. We need to bring merriment to me. You look and you see that in all of the words, you look and you see that in all of the way. of this chaos, metal steam has been able to escape out from under the web.

Oh, well this may go for it? I just start throwing into the crowd, like, what I'm trying to make look like snow, but it's just, there's like many marshmallows for hot chocolate. Oh, that's nice. Ooh, free snakes! Of the kids, I don't even have to roll for the kids, they're having a good time. The kids are having a good time. The parents are, they are slowly starting to calm down, but all of their attention is

been turned away from Palasha and her performance. And you hear a loud splash as once again, your attention is turned towards her as you watch as she leaps out from her bowl and into the river and begins to swim downstream. You can hear the sounds of whimpering and crying. She's clearly in distress. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventrous and gain access to tons of exclusive perks including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign

set on the high seas shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies

like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. to hunt her down ruthlessly. I mean, we need to stop her. You guys don't want to play a game of Blitzball first? No, we need to cheer her up. That sounds like a pointless side, quench, the fact that you have to hold your breath the time,

fucking horseshit, let's go. I will jump onto my buggy board. Form of bed! I mean, I think we were just swimming. No, I'm just literally doing this. Oh, okay. We'll run away from the crowd, hoping that we haven't disturbed the mood too much and follow Palasha's tears.

Nice thinking on all those tiny marshmallows. I love bringing cheer with saccharine delights that would spike insulin and rot teeth. Don't you have your own, like, tiny marshmallows? No. Oh, you have. You're just chocolate-flavored like wheat cream. Yes, right? I'm all chocolate themed.

Yeah. I mean, they're technically were, but I feel like this character has to be slightly legally distinct. I've never had that particular brand. I don't know what it's made. Try and come for me, General Mills. I remember in the Great War,

I faced off against General Mills. And his most ruthless captain, Captain Crunch be called in a fierce strategist, General Mills. General Mills. Creamy. You feel your self-changing. As your fake curse is being replaced

by a new one. I've just used a twist of dread to replace your fake curse. I'm not going to stack them. As you begin to feel three unbearable itches on your body. Three. What the fuck was all that? One on your chest.

One on your back in a place that is very difficult to reach. I once had... And one on the bottom of your foot. I once had an itch that was so deep in my cheeks. I couldn't scratch it. I don't need to hear these details. Like, just go away. What are you even doing here?

What the fuck, guys? Can you, like, get back to normal, please? This is ridiculous. Then you get all this fucking highest. Are you scratching at the one in your chest? You do, and you feel relief. Oh. for a moment. And then you feel the itch move to beneath your armpit.

And every time you scratch it, you feel relief for a second before it moves to a new place. Oh, God. Oh my God. This is a fate worse than the Frost King. Yo, Cremie, you're back. You're no longer the King of Frost, but you're looking mighty, itchy, friend. Can you, can you help me out? Can you keep me off? I think he's covered in spiders. I got some coconut oil. That'll be like... I have, no, that is a terrible cure. I have a... the this will cure you right up by the brimming glass of spiders oh oh oh fuck and I started trying to swap them away I've never tried that I thought

the green oil was a pretty good idea no everyone knows to go with the brimming glass of spiders anything but the spiders please here here I start rubbing poked all over myself I'm gonna be very oily and greasy. You do that. You cover yourself in oil, and it is similar to when you put, what is that pink shit that you use for itches and bug bites? Deptibizmal.

Epidimal. What? I don't know what you're talking about. There's a pink antihistamine or whatever that you put on like- Calamine? No. I'm just going to look at chat because I have no idea. Everyone thinks it's calamink.

I don't think so. Maybe it's called that. But anyway, it like, it dries and it's supposed to help the itch. But, like, after, like, the first little bit of time, the itch just comes back and now you have caked on pink shit on your skin. Like capstick. Have you ever read a bottle of Peptobesmo, how it low-key throws shade at you?

Where it says, like, to calm the symptoms of overindulgence in food and drink. You fuck. Yeah. You ain't and drink too much, you fuck face. You're stupid. Yeah, maybe it is Calamine. Oh, my bride, Calamine. Come with me in your slutty non-mouth food.

On the back of my eyeball. Ah! And I'm just like gonna claw my, like start really scratching my skin. Dude, you're gonna hurt yourself if you keep clawing at yourself like that. But at least you're not ashy. And I'm gonna use one for Grico, too. Oh. Sorry.

Am I transforming back? You are transforming back into Grico. Oh, thank goodness. But you're, you're now female. Oh no. Why fear the boniangia? Oh, no.

How high. What in the fuck? I beg I'm a baby. How big you are on me? I mean, you're the dungeon mistress. It's your character. Oh, hi. Look.

They came back. I mean, it's a little, a little time. I mean, Grisha. Grimmy thing. Kirby, Oh, I just got Rule 60 freed. Grico, you've changed.

What's your name now, Grico? Is it Grigga? Something has happened. Yes, you seem to be a lady now. Oh, we got confirmation that Kirby Dave is dead. No. We did it. You're funny.

Frost is being honoured by them as we speak. Yeah, there's something about this place where we're haunted by the people we've killed. And Kirby Dave showed up because I accidentally pushed him over into the water and he drowned. Ass up. My name now is Goblinette. Goblinette. Yeah, you know how whenever there's a race or species or group of people, all of the guys get their own unique names? and then there's one girl

and then they just get like a generic blank at or blank a or blankina so I can't be Grickow that's too much of a unique identity. I'm Goblinette. How is that society going to survive if there's only one girl?

Farrishingly. Well Tomlinette, it's nice to have you join our ranks. I'm on the water right now. You want to join me? No, but, I mean, Frost, you ain't water. You're a cat. But I'm, look at me right now.

I know. I'm, I'm gonna stop a little of a bad. It's almost like I'm wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all. Oh God, please, please. Any pixies nearby? Please, we need help.

Oh, we should enjoy some banana splits. I'm glad bananas isn't gone. Banana taffy maybe would help us all clean this up. Oh, that's pretty good. Probably better than my coconut oil would. Oh, well, yes, it tastes like original bananas. That's my understanding. That's historical fat.

Oh, is that more of like an old wife's tale? I'm like a market employer. That's exactly the kind of shit I would make up. Yeah, it does something like the kind of shit that grimy would come up with. I'm going to go higher. That's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea. You sound like Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect.

Oh, no, she's more Australian. This is more east end of London I got a In it I need some mashing boil Do in it Oh say I wish the Eliza do little song

Oh I want Is your room somewhere Turn to the eyes here Pulasia got far away Warm boots warm Lovely Pallasha So are you you're following the river

Yeah yeah The whole time this transformation has been happening I assume that we are I thought you were standing there with the crowd. No, we're rushing after. I said I got on my boogie board and I've been trying. I had Pamela Anderson hair.

I missed that. My apologies. And I'm in a red. I'm in a red one piece. One piece. Okay. Yeah. And you're just.

Hey, Goblinette. Hey, Gauvinette. Can you say Henry Higgins for me? Oh, hey. That's pretty good. All right. Let's continue. Why do you guys so fast?

Wow. He's just in slow motion right there. How do that? I don't know. I don't know. I feel like Arlund. from chuckles when he was alive. And it's quite funny, too, because

Grico is moving really slowly, but his breasts are bouncing abnormally fast. Like normal speed. Normal speed, but he's running very she's running very slow. Okay. Manet, excuse me.

It's very distracting. We have to wait up for God permit. I'll just paddle slower, I guess. Yeah, like aloe anything? I mean, without tan you are. You've probably gotten a few sunburns. It's all coconut and sunburns.

bro. I mean, he was sort of like doomed with like weird skin diseases later in life. I mean, that seems a little dangerous. If I'm really a summer alladrine now, I don't have to worry about that for like 800 years. I guess that's fair. You'll outlive the rest of us, but I think you're

actually tabaxy. How do you feel about that? I feel like I'm going to regret a lot of choices I've made. As soon as I come back every time that happens. This happens. Yeah, I mean, my tummy hurts a little bit, and so many, you know, chocolate gold coins

and little many marshmallows, but that's about it for me. Dude, I ate like 300 pounds of cake. Oh, yeah, you did. I was like 12 days ago. Well, you know, I know another place that you can eat 300 pounds

of cake frost. Say true. That's true. Best joke in the night. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I keep living in a barnabos. Oh, you can't do any pirate voices. if it ain't Barnabos, hey there?

Oh, no. That's a nightmare. Somewhere in the world. Barnabos do be dummy think, though. That's your sugar. I fall off with my boogie board and I drown. I can't handle that particular comment. Only if Kirby Dave is just Barnabose.

Oh my God. It's a Barney's all come together. Kirby Dave was blue. He didn't drown. He can breathe water. He just fucked off into the ocean. We run after Palasha. You swim after Palazha.

And you- Oh, I'm a lizard folks, so I actually have a swimming speed. Yeah. You're an alligator, yeah. I just jumped-jointed. So you are able to make your way around the river. I'm gonna land on the crud me and surf on them. At one point, you see the gondola swans move past you.

And you are noticed by a particular swan who doesn't recognize you because you are, you are, whatever this is now. And she makes a snide comment as she moves around you talking about pedestrians getting in the way of the thoroughfare. As the gondola swans continue down and around. And it takes you about, I would say, 20 minutes or so before you find a small grotto and you hear the sounds of whimpering and crying. All right, we got to play this cool. Cremie, Gricka, a goblinette. It's really hard.

This brain works different. I really feel like we should get some tasks. before going to that thing. Why are you so slow? Why are you so stupid? Because these curses, they just, yeah, I know. My brain is fried from the choula. He's like three times as fast as you.

You've been running the slow motion this whole time. No, I've been riding you back ever since I landed on. Look, if I had any taffy, I did you taffy, but all I've got is coconut oil, all right? Well, I just happen to have these three extra pieces of taffy. Oh, there we go. You don't have three extra pieces of tap. I don't have, never my, it's just,

crumbles to dust. Oh no. Oh no. That's terrible. It's terrible. We're gonna have to do this right. Oh, I look some bumbers. Oh, God.

You've got a positive outlook. Cremie, you just have to deal with the itching. It probably will go away to you. No, it's not. It's not going to go away without taffield. I'm surprised. I still have this fucking tanned body. I mean, look at these come guys.

It's just fucking crazy. It's just because I love this. I could have ended it a long time ago, I just don't want to. Do you just fucking say cum cutters? What? No, look at these abs. What did you

hear? You know what you fucking said? Yeah, I said come cutters. I was fucking with you, Grimmie. Brett's going to lead the way, all right? No, I'm going to lead the way, all right? Everybody should to fuck up.

The three of us lead the way. We'll try to lead the way. We'll probably lead the way. I scramble. I'm going to kick people with my cane. You, the three of you tend to lead the way as you're stumbling over each other as you make your way into this grotto. And once you're inside, you hear the sounds of the sniffling and the crying echoing. This place is actually quite beautiful.

There are curtains of seaweed hanging down from the ceiling that are braided and interlaced with opalescent and pearlescent shells. There are clams that open up and the pearl inside of them glows with a beautiful, fucking pervert. I can say the word clam, Michael. I was thinking of gum gun gunner. I thought it was pearl. Do you guys want to end the session here tonight? No, no, no, no.

We can't. We had to know. It hasn't. We had to say Palasha. You seize the clam. opens open up and the pearls on the inside are glowing with a beautiful, a beautiful blue and green light that reflects the imagery of the deep sea on the cave walls. This is clearly Palasha's home and where she spends her time when she's not performing. At the very back of the space,

you do see what appears to be a coral canopy bed with hanging curtains of seaward. weed and um it's it's plush and beautiful and laying on top of it curled up on um curled up on a bed of seaweed and sand is polasha her head in her hands as she whimpers and cries shh everyone just be cool all right i mean all right but can you be cool i mean i mean sort of like baked into your whole persona right now but i mean yeah i mean like everything's cool but like we all have to be cool like fishing chips in It's a mermaid's home. You can't see that stuff.

I'm getting more like malt vinegar. I'm going to approach Palasha, and I'm going to try to comfort her and let her know that everything's good with candlestick. Well, I mean, if Frost is in there, he'll remember everything we've been through, right? I am in here. I don't know why I just said candlestick. I'm dumb as a rock. My name's Brett. And I was impressed by your big brain.

I'm trying. It's hard to break through. It's like being on the other side of a window and you can't hear yourself. Like screaming through a window, yeah. You know, z. Like limosoo, yeah. Well, maybe if we do a nice 80s montage, this 80s montage is now.

Raj. Are you still trying to rhyme? I think I was supposed to be breaking out in the song and I forgot. No, I... Oh, she did wipe it clean, okay, maintain game's day. Look, you and I can do something really 80s and cool, but what are we

going to do with Itchy Creming? Oh, yeah. Oh, well, old dogs go to heaven was from the 80s and Itchy was a character of that. Oh, he died a whole, bleating. Oh, he died. He died, he was going to have on a bone and it's supposed to be Charming.

Yeah, he died off screen. Yeah, imagine. Just to get into heaven. We may look like, we may look and feel the way we do, but we can do this together. We can make this happen. We can, we just have to try to be there for Belasha. Right. So on the count of three, we all take the lead and we all come for it, all right?

All right, here we go. Oh, no. Let's go, Goblinette. And I pick her up underneath the arm and I like her door. walk forward with cremey, uh, with itchy cremings. And you're going to do what in three? We are going to make our presence known. We're just gonna, we're not gonna try to like steal

or anything, just like, all right. Hey, Palasha. Oh, three, two, one. Wanna do? Everything's gonna be all right, Palasha. We say, we're gonna be. There's nothing more about it anymore. This is Ishi cremie?

This is Goblinette and my name's Brett. And you're gonna be just five. I'm gonna kill a cloud to resolve everything Have you ever heard of Bethaco? Well, he's totally dead as soon as gig comes back

He'll get out some bumbleberry Ponds And Candlestick loves you He's going to be so He's going to be so hot And then we get his voice back And it's going to be all in the He's a head

His voice back You know what's a little All you have to do is It's sort of It's going to be It's going to be just a major. It's going to I love this.

We're gonna be able to make a rancic. Enough to split you all. I mean, you would think you would resolve a difference. This goes on. It's gonna be alright. It's fine, it's fine. It's not getting ever left. And that's what she saves.

You roll a performance check at disadvantage, but because you're all working together, I would make it regular. Whoa. Ooh. No, I just, I'm, because it's chaos, it would be a disadvantage. So one of us is only.

But because you're working together, I'm gonna- Crenny is the highest. You're helping each other. It's gotta be crueber. Yeah, of course. I'm using my dispelled dice. That doesn't count because it wasn't on the dice train.

It was an accident on a roll, okay? It's not, it's worse. Yeah, but if it had been a good role, you were gonna keep it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Performance, you say? Yeah. Oh, I'm actually not proficient in that.

That's not really Cremie's thing. That is a 13. Okay. You... Do we... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, please, God. Just take one out.

Okay. How can do it? That's a... That's a 15. That's good enough. Right? Now do one more. Do one more.

Oh, my God, Creamy. I need you to roll two D-100s for me, please. Cremie turns into a bowl of itchy flesh that floats like an orb and is also covered in mayonnaise. 57. Okay. And 42. Oh, I like that number 42.

What have I done? You reek of the marshes and you are covered in feted muck of the swamp lands. It feels like home. And then, Mikey, I need your help again. You will be rewarded for today as all I'm going to say. Can you please pick a devil for me? Any kind of devil? Yeah.

Like a devil creature? One of the big mean devils. A devil. Anything, Mikey, your DM brain? Kremi is now hunted by a specific devil, and he can hear it in his mind. Oh, no. Why?

Oh, no. I'm going to get you. Come on in. is an imp. It's fucking get your throat. What's that smell? I'm a fight! Oh, and I just started playing it the other way.

I start bolting out of this cave wherever the fuck we are. I'm going to get your skin. Oh my God, no! Itchy cremone. She the devil, oh! He watches as Cremies scratching at himself, and all of a sudden the smell of swam billows from his... want billows from, as the muck begins to pour out of the scratches

that he's causing on himself from all of the itching, as all of a sudden he looks horrified and he starts responding to a voice that nobody else can hear. And just as quickly as all of this happens, as he's covered in this feted muck, he rushes out of the grotto. This looks like a little gray, like gargoyled guy.

Yeah. Come on me. He's like, come on here. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm gonna bury you on my fucking feed. I'm screaming at that. Oh, no, no, no, don't. Don't worry.

He's just hearing things. That happens to us occasionally. We're all affected by the Taffy, the opposite of Taffy. You know what I mean? You watch as Pulasia is. It's not so laughing. Her head, she hasn't necessarily moved,

but she has been watching. you from the moment that you spoke. And her face is in a perpetual state of shock and almost horror as she watches all of this unfold before her. And as crem e-bots from the room, she doesn't smile, but there's almost a, there's almost a calmness that comes over her face as she looks towards you, Frost, and she says, I guess I don't have it worse than he does with whatever's happening to his flesh and he's screaming about something

In the distance you hear I'm like way gone Yeah I'm not sure he just got taken Sometimes that happens you know Taken by like the anti-taffy feels Are you talking about the taffy that's given to people when they come down with an affliction of Garnival. Yeah, yeah.

They're like, like curses and stuff. Like the magic of the fade. Just like, like right now my name is Brent and I look like super buffing bronze and like this and I'm like super blonde and look at my hair and my eyes and I can do all these push-ups? Like, do you want to see these push-ups?

Like, check this out. Oh, oh, look, look, he's so strong. And I'm gonna lay this way on top of his back. Look, look, I can just do. this all day long. Look at my hair. Isn't it quite nice? I'm not... Isn't it quite nice?

I'm not sure what... I'm not sure why you're doing push-ups in my room currently. Or what any of this has to do with Taffy? I mean, congratulations. As a performer, I think it's impressive that you can do a one-handed push-up with a small goblin woman stride your back, but I don't understand what you're saying to me.

Or, to be honest, why you're here? But Lasha, we came to, like... Roll an investigation check for me, please. We came to, like, cheer you up, because, like, we saw your performance and we were getting heckled and whatnot. But what was really alien you seemed like deeper, you know? You know, like, deep down sadness,

and I can't imagine how salty that bowl of water was. You could tell. Look, she's probably a saltwater mermaid. Only because we've met your guy. Whole six twists out for me. What? What? For this investigation check, I got the 22.

You just made the decision to roll up six times? Holy fuck. Roll 60-100s for me and tell me what all the numbers are, and then I will get to you in a second. Oh, and your very handsome, my boyfriend misses you very much. Yeah, your guy. And he just, oh, we want to dance with somebody. You want to dance with something. You immediately see her face fall.

Oh no. As you say this and she chokes back tears and she looks out at you. You've, you've gone to see Candlefoot. Yes. Candlefoot, yeah. Is he doing all right? No, he's not at all.

He's very sad because he misses. you because his voice got stolen by a bird. But we're going to help him out. That's what happens to him. His voice was stolen. Yes, it was stolen by a political agent, a literal terrorist. It's a little dark. That was the person who was heckling you.

They were trying to fuck you up. It was the same terrorist bird. What's do they have against us and our love? They've got their own agenda. It has to do with Mr. Light and Mr. Witch. No, she's very jealous. She was a little. You see her face kind of hardened a little bit.

It doesn't surprise me. There's something going on at this carnival. It's not the way it was before. Children are going missing. Dillegroon could tell you more about it over in lost property. But you're saying that there's a Kenku here that's causing chaos because of Mr. Witch and Mr. Light? Yeah, she's got her own, like, goal. She's like an agent of chaos.

And she said, oh, chaos is a... Sunder, Sunder. Exactly what Goblinette's saying. Oh, no, believe you see me, Sonsa. Don't got my phone. But we're going to fix it. And so this Kenku has stolen Candlefoot's voice. Yes. And she...

And then is attempting to disrupt my show. She's kind of a bitch, yeah. Did I do something to hurt her that she's targeting me specifically? I think she's jealous because you're so pretty, and she's a bird? No, she's not, she's targeting everybody. And anyone in the carnival, right? Right? Well, I mean, she's politically motivated terrorists, yeah, but she's also probably just an extra bitch because she's just jealous. That's what I think. Don't listen to Goblinette. It's just because you're here at the Carnal. I think she's jealous. What were your D100s?

86. Yep. Don't break. Explain me, Brett. 68? 68. I think of that. 64. 9.78. Okay. You are able as you as you run as you run out of the grotto you swim across the river and you immediately start looking around and honing in and though you don't see a you don't see one of the medical stations you do see a candy striper pixie that is clearly coming recently from Pixie Kingdom and has satchels filled with taffy and she's heading towards refilling the the first aid stations. were able to flag her down and she offers you a piece of taffy, which cures all of your ailments. Oh! Including those ones I rolled? No. Fuck. No, it wasn't taffy.

It was two bags of cat litter. What did you just... Please! Please, I need him! I need taffy! I need ten pieces! As many as you got to spare, please, please, please, please, please. Well, I can definitely give you a piece of taffy because you are covered in muck

my friend and she doesn't want to touch you so she tosses a taffy into your mouth. Just to assume up from the swall, but I mean, is that obvious that I'm from the small? You're gonna go in this fucking gear. Oh my God! What you're done, I'm gonna cut off this bitchless wreath and shove it down. It gets much more violent than that. It does. It gets much more violent.

But luckily, she doesn't hear that because that is all happening inside of your head. As you chew on the taffy, you begin to to feel the itching subside. The imp creature disappears back into the abyss. And you are, the embedded waters and muck resides or subsides from your skin. And you are crummy again. You still covered in coconut oil.

Oh, I'm sorry, I gotta be on my way though. I'm on a tight time. Can I take a few of my friends? Just like two or three. Oh, sorry, we don't just hand these things out, like candy, the taffy. And she turns around and right. All right.

Thank you. Thank for the one, the one piece of taffy. So generous, thank you. All right. I should probably get back there. They probably fucking everything up as we speak. And as you do, you begin to feel the world around you shift. As the end of the lighthouse.

I just fall down the stairs. Yeah. Your first one was 86. You must marry the Faye you are bargaining with. As she begins to fly away, you turn and look at her, and you feel this overwhelming need to make her your wife. No, baby, baby, please, please, please, baby, please. Yeah, I'm so. What is this you need? I'm on a time schedule.

I have a very important question, baby, please, baby please. Yeah? Just hold on. Don't do it, grimy. Hold on. Don't do it. Would you do me the honor? of being my wife in exchange for some tassie.

Hold on, you're asking me to be your wife? In exchange for the taffy. But I have to also give you taffy to marry you. That's the deal. The prompt says bargaining, so I'm just, I'm including that in this, so that I get some fucking tabby out of this. I, I mean, you know, we're just gonna fare.

I just, I've never really, I never really thought I would be the type to get married. I mean, I always thought that my sisters would get married before me, so. Well, I mean, I could, you know, once I get all my debt paid off, we're going to be living high, we can travel the world, you can, you know, take all those pictures and post them on Facebook. Oh, tell you about your Funko Pop collection. You mean Picksogram?

Oh, Picksogram, that's way better than what I said. Yeah, I mean, think about how jealous, all your friends are going to be, you know, with pictures of us, the two of us, all around the world once I pay back Mr. Guru. I was really, I was feeling a bit jealous that Bixie was getting married. Well, that could be us,

and how it would cost you, would just be three pieces, a simple tathy. Won't you do the honor of Mary? Do you think we could do a double wedding with Bixie? Yes. Okay.

Yes. You know, I know we just met, but I do believe in love at first sight, and maybe this is what love feels like, this disgusting pit in my stomach where I feel like I want to vomit and am slightly repulsed by you? That's exactly what that is. And at least you got past the smell now that it's at least sort of dissipating. Okay. Yeah, I'll do it. Let's get married. All right.

Let's get up. Oh, that's so exciting. Oh, by the name, by the way, my name's Vaxi. Oh. What a beautiful name. My mother's name was Not Zagin All right

Well, I guess you can have these three Taffies if you want them Toffies, whatever they are Oh, the toffies Well, we have both Really just depends on which station Yeah, it just depends on which station they go on I'll take three of each

No, you said three in total We're getting married, please What do? What do you mean at the least you I'm getting, what? No Oh, look, look, look. We'll do three toffies because at least that's different than all the fucking banana coffee we've been eating. Taffee.

Yeah, sure. And she hands three toffee's to you. It's banana toffee. It's banana toffee. I'm going to give it a second before I eat. Oh, banana. To make sure that nothing else is going to overcome me in any second. So I guess I got to go let my mom know, Lusty.

She's great. I can't wait for you to meet her. Your mother's name is Lusty. Yeah. You shouldn't have told me that. Why? Never mind. She's going to be your mom too.

Bye. I got to go. Bye. I'll see you later, hubby. I rush off back to the cave. You rush off towards the cave and you are, yeah, you're now engaged to a casey. You begin to make your way back towards the cave and you feel yourself. a little bit of dread.

Oh, yeah. As the dread begins to sink in, you realize that marriage is until death do you part. And the concept of death is unbearably sad, so much so that you burst into tears whenever it comes up. Oh, all right. Oh, God, forever. Until death?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. And it is about this time that you make your way towards the grotto and you enter into it. You see that Palasha is in deep conversation with Frost and Goblinette, or I'm sorry, with Brett and Goblinette. There we go. As she does seem to notice you, but she's more focused on the conversation at hand. do you think there's a way to to restore Kendall Foote's voice We know there's a way

Oh yes, of course there's a way And for the purposes of the meta Who has the voice of Crimey? Yeah The man who just ran screaming From like some kind of devil Itching all over his body

He's got the voice now You were able to snipe that biz How were you able to get it back? Oh, we made a deal of the political terrorist. Exactly right. It's an alliance of convenience. I'm sorry.

You made a deal with the heckler that stole my love's voice. Well, because we wanted to get it back. We would do anything to get it back and help you. Oh, well, come back. I'm back. I'm back. Cremie, are you all right?

You look like you're better now. You're a little greasy, but not smelly. Yeah. Oh, you seem fine, creamy. Yeah, I'm fine. That's quite nice. I'm back to normal. Do you have a bumbleberry pie?

No, I don't even know what the fuck that is. Here, eat this, eat this. Oh, why would I eat this? Oh, it's a... This is a... Oh, it's a... Oh, delicious treat that I just, because I love my friends and just eat the fucking thing. No, it's fine, Frosty.

I mean, Brett. I'm going to hold on. to this. I'm gonna put it in my speedo because I'm riding the cool waves right now. I think I'm doing it all right. When you count to get the fucking game? So wisdom saving throw? 17. Yeah, I think so. Oh, 16. Wait, hold on. I want to make sure that it's 17. Because this is important. You got a 16. I should really make sure. Oh, no, it's 15. So you pass. I'm doing just fine. Thank you. Thank you kindly. Oh, hello, Pala. Sir, it's me. My name is Grico. I know I was gobbling in a second ago, but you know, this which light goes. It's like, ah, and I'm like, oh, I have no idea what you're saying. This is all very confusing. I'm going to put all of the changes aside and focus on what's important. You're telling me that you can restore Candlefoot's voice.

Yeah, don't I have it? He's got the dough, you got the dough. Oh, the doll. Yeah, I got the dog. Look, right here. This is candle foot, uh, candle feet. Candle feet's, uh, doll. Foot or feet? It's foot. You, you pull the, um, you pull the doll out of your, your pack. And as you look at it, your mind be fuddles as you lose your most treasured memory, your memory of the recipe for gumbo, for Rue specifically.

Oh, my God. Gass, how do you make a root? You take, like, flour and water, but, like, it's all about the technique. No, that's not right. Oh, first, you need a kanga. It takes experience forever. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Why are you joking around, Krami?

You muttered a recipe your technique for the perfect rue in your sleep, and you're like, oh, what I do? You don't want to do a caramel or a peanut better. It's got to be a nice. Oh, that's a milk chocolate, roo. Now you gotta get it to a dump chocolate. And I'm like, Grammy, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

No, but how do you make a root? I don't know. You throw a bunch of shit in the pot and you stir it. And they show it's real nice. Isn't it how it makes it? I've seen him stir for hours. He throws a bunch of stuff in a pot, and then you put the watch stuff in there.

And I'm having the next step for crashes, fellas. I'm having a dense essential crisis. No, no. are you saying this playlist are we off the playlist now? No, it's Peter Gundry. I don't know what that is. Oh.

We should probably change it. I changed it. Fucking YouTube music. That shit's expensive too. No, no. Peter Gundry, I can't afford him. That's why I've always been a Spotify guy. Anyways,

Palasha, in that doll that he's holding, as crazy as he sounds right now, that's got your dude's voice in it. So, So you can give me the doll? Wait, so you're saying chocolate was a part of it? I mean, that sounds familiar. Are we going to give her the dolls?

And caramel and peanut butter. Maybe he threw it in a pot. So caramel, peanut butter, and chocolate? Milk chocolate and dark chocolate. That sounds a little sweet. Brett says it's okay for you to take the doll. And what do I need to do with the doll? No, oh, well, no, but, but, to get his voice back.

I think that you just like... No, we need... We need all take it together, right? Maybe with little corn starch? No, you got to just give her the doll, and then you just take the doll back to candlestick, and he'll be... It's candlefoot.

A candlefoot. And what do I need to do with the door? Give it to him and he'll be like, oh, and he'll be like voice. Crammy, you know how to use dolls, right? I've used some dolls and some questionable rituals.

That's what I'm saying. But Crammy, can you please stop talking about your room? I don't think this is the same. This is not the time to talk about kangaroos, okay? I'm not talking... Look, look, all I'm saying, look, we'll figure that out later. Do I remember if we were given instruction on...

You were? Can I try to remember... Very explicitly. What I was told? Yes, you can convince her. It is Cornhus Doll with a thorny stem tied around its neck. And you know that if you untie the stem, it will restore the Mimes voice. Oh, that's right.

We can do it right here, right now, I think. Okay, so all we have to do. is untied the thorny noose from this here condole and your lover will get his voice back. What are we waiting for? Why haven't you done it already? Because you

should be the one to do it. If we want his true love to do it. You could go do it for and with him and it'll be so beautiful. I could take the door. I could swim to, I could swim to him and then I could get him again. It'll be magical. I can't

thank you enough. It'll be romantic. Have the doll. Would it bring your joy? Yes. Well, there you go. You see his tears streamed down her face as she seems like, she trusts you very much that this is the truth.

And she takes the doll from you. Gotta make this. We did it. There be nothing more beautiful than the tears of a mermaid. And she looks at you all and she says, I must away, this is really true. If I could have my love back, I cannot wait a moment more. But I will leave you with this.

If you want more information about what's going on, I do believe that Dear Legron might have that information. You can find her at lost property. Oh, you mean old Kitty Whiskers? Yes, I do. Oh! The Displace of East, Delegris. Oh, yeah, Mrs. Kitty Whiskers.

Oh, she's not know her. I feel that she knows more about what's going on with all of the missing children that have been happening recently at the carnival. If something is happening with Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, lost property might be the way to go. Yeah. And on top of that, I'm finding that I'm a little suspicious as well.

Something is clearly going on here. And you have been true friends, genuine friends, and I've met you just recently, and that means a lot to me, and it will mean a lot to Candlefoot as well. If you should need our assistance in any, Anyway, you have it. In the upcoming highs, we're going to use every hand we can.

I'm not sure what you mean, but don't talk to me about it just yet. All right. Call on me when and if you need it. Oh. You have both mine and Candlefoot's alliance. Brett just hopes you're happy. And with a guy named Candlefoot, his candle must be like a foot long. I hope you live together forever and are super happy.

He's well endowed. I'm going to... A foot tall? Well endowed with passion and intelligence and thoughtfulness. You guys want to go

do like the bubble pop? The what? The bubble pop, right? Well, it was lovely to see you. It was very nice to meet you, Blosselso. I've heard so much about you.

You are welcome here anytime. May the wind under your wings never falter, my lady. Yes, and you watch as she moves. And though she's a mermaid, she is somehow able to glide here, almost as if she is swimming through the air. And she swims towards you and she pulls you into an embrace, each one of you individually. Thank you. Thank you so much.

And she clutches onto the doll and she looks down it and she says, Do not worry, my love. I'm coming for you. We will be separated no longer. And you watch as she dives into the stream and very quickly heads in the direction of the Hall of mirrors or the Hall of the Lusions. We did good. We made right. And the happiness meter at the carnival increases by one.

Yes. I don't know what we're at. We're here. Oh, yeah. One down from Max. Oh, shit. Yeah. I think we should celebrate with some bananas.

We got bananas? We do got bananas. Come on, give me, let's have some bananas. I don't know what you're talking about. Bonagnas, crummy. Why are we going at me? Are you talking about the, The toffee?

Hey, banana. We're gonna enjoy some bananas. Oh, you don't have any mold in that. But first, let me take it crotch. This is Brett. You can't wait for my garage. I just want to... I'm gonna...

I don't want to eat this coffee. My new job is a package is better. Brett wants to live. You begin to breathe in the air here. And it is very humid. This is clearly under the sea in some way, this home of the mermaid. As the water inside your mouth

begins to turn oily. This is what you guys are talking about. Oh, you got the oil mouth? That's the worst. That's the worst one. It's like chicken grease for without the chicken. Yeah. Well, no, I all had chicken with him.

Well, yeah, you did. Yeah, I mean, it's just sort of like, yeah, like a flavorless. It's like the reverse of you mommy, you know? Sort of like a grape seed oil, you know? Oh, yeah. It's like when you cook something with canola oil and leave that weird film that you can't get off. Yeah, I think this would make a good rue. Oh.

I knew how to make it. Didn't we figure it out? You throw peanut butter, milk chocolate, caramel with dog chocolate. In a real? In a room? No, it's just flour and water. What?

Eat it butter. Because that's the color that you're going for. No, that's ridiculous. That sounds ridiculous. It just turned into a soupy mess. Bread is going to go and use its fresh ticket to go on a ride. Are you guys down?

Are you guys down? No, we're going to lost property to talk to this cat that Griggo knows. I mean, Mrs. Kitty, which is where I, I mean, I feel like I met her once, but I can't remember what for. Look, we got to go back and fix Gideon because he's in like a super deep coma.

And we got one thing to do left before that happens, I think. And I think it should be the bubble pop rag. You immediately feel your body begin to change, and you all watch as Cremie begins to shrink and shrink. And where Cremie had been, where once a lizard, man had stud is now a small frog. You look up at everyone and you retain your voice, but you are not fully crummy. You know what happened to you. You were cursed to be a lizard

folk. This was the form that happened to you when you were turned by that evil witch into a frog. You're a prince, and all you need is the kids. of your true love to return to your princely form. How the tables have turned. Mr. Green is the green is the green is the green you need. Man, you got like super curtained. This is really ironic. Maybe that's why.

Because Crum is always turning people into frogs. And now he turned into a frog. I'm done in the past. Maybe that's why. Oh my goodness. This is very familiar. I feel like it's like a fly in your shirt. Chadrenawi.

Oh. Oh, rain on your wedding day. Don't say that. We got a wedding coming up. Who? You're going to get married. Well, I got bad news, fellas. What?

We already see you're a frog. No. It's going to rain? That's going to be so ironic. And the worst. When I was trying to flag down, get some taffy or taffy, whatever, you know, sort of accidentally a little kind of sort of got hitched. What?

Yep. How do you get lynched? Why are you just getting married, like, all right away? How are these Pixie so amenable to odds? I don't know. I mean, I made a deal with her, and I just figured she wouldn't take it. I'm like, you know, I mean, oh, I propose to you, but you got to give me three pieces of toffee, and she took it. What do we know about Pixie marriage culture?

Like, maybe they think it's like a week, and that's it. What do you think the odds are that she's my true love, and maybe I just need to kiss her? To remove her. Very loud. Very loud. Yeah. You like her size now though. Like it's a perfect match.

Yeah. The pixie and the frog. Yeah, but once I can wait, so how does this work? Once I kiss. You believe, you have turned into a frog. Everyone can see you as a frog. But you can turn back. You believe that this is the form that you should have been in.

You believe that you had previously been a prince that was turned into a frog and to return to your princely form, you need to be kissed. If this is the same fakers that we've experienced previously, intelligent Frost would know the solution of this problem. I wouldn't know anything about that. No, you wouldn't, man. You're fucked. I mean, you know, weirdly I'm feeling like I was actually a prince.

And I was turning to a frog and a gator, now back into a frog, and I need to kiss my true love. What's your original species if you're on a frog or a gator? You know, that's a good question. I don't rightly know. What a prince is usually? I don't know. Anything?

I mean, I was king of Goblinopia. Were you Prince of Frogtopia, perhaps? Maybe like a bigger frog. Maybe that was a Bollywood. Oh, like Pierre. Yeah, like, maybe that's why I was going to Vogue. Maybe that's why you all was like, oh, Chantot. Maybe that's why you were speaking Bollywag.

Oh, Sheree. Oh, Shiree, yeah. This Bollywugs lingo you throw into your speech. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah, maybe I was a Bullywood. Maybe. You are talking to Grico as you look at him. And you begin to see features that you hadn't noticed before.

The sparkling of his eyes, the beautiful green tinch to his skin. The slender ankles. And goblins now look like beautiful women. I don't know. I don't know it is anymore. Grick-O, have you always looked so green? I mean, I think so. I mean, I probably looked more green

when I was on the pirate ship with Scovy Dave, you know what I mean? Like, oh, you know what I mean? Don't say that name. Every time I hear that name, I get this, like, clap memory. This clapping. It's a clapping, it's so wrong.

Would you want to like maybe, you know, I don't know, trade a smooch? for like a whatever you want. What? I mean, I'm just wondering, what if you do with my true love and, you know, us kissing would get us,

will get me back to be in the front of friends. You're not more true love. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Are you seeing me or are you saying gubernate? I don't know.

This is all pretty good. You're pretty hot right now. I'm always looking pretty often. I mean, I'm seeing. I'm like, You've seen more membranes as I sail through to Eiff. I mean, I did at one point, yeah.

Exactly right. It's a thing of pure beauty. Something that, with fireworks at the, you know. Fireworks with Senpai. Of course, free Takoyaki on a stick. A classic treat with Sempai. That's like layers upon layers. Oh, yes, it is. If you're not a degenerate weeb,

you have no idea what I'm talking about. You know, I don't know if they serve. of Senpai here, but we still haven't gotten any. I'm looking for some bumbleberry pie. So we need to get, we need to get Sempie and some bumbleberry pie before we leave. Yeah, and then we're gonna go to the bubble pie. I mean, you gotta snap out of it.

Snap out of it. You're very pretty, creepy, but you're acting crazy. I mean, I do like the frog vibe. You're good as a frog and it is quite, it is, in dramatic irony. I feel, I feel more on my own skin. Because you have turned several people. I feel like I'm a little too small, you know what I mean?

And you are. You are, you are a frog standing on two legs wearing just the tuxedo jacket and a top hat. Hello, ma-man. Do you have the cane too? Yeah. Oh, I kind of want to sing, you know what I mean? Oh, what I'm like, at least dance a little bit? Should we do a little bit of a number?

I wouldn't mind do. Let's do a number. What do we want to do? I don't know. What's the... What have we practiced? It's been a while. Have we practiced anything?

I mean, I feel like, you know, even though we're not really in a band officially, we probably still do a little Get little ditty here and there. I got my little flute, my margarina. Play me a tune and I'll do a little jig to it. You love little digs. Oh, yeah. And I start dancing. Why did I play that tune?

It was the Hootsie summoning tune. Don't play that. No, keep playing it, keep playing it. No, you don't want to play that. I just want to do a little jig when you play it. No. No. No, that's what the Groblin wants us to do.

Yeah, you'll unlock unspeakable evil if you do that, man. We must play a different tune. We got to find your fiancé so that you can get the kiss of real true love. What's her name so that we can find her? But I didn't marry, I didn't propose to add a true love. I proposed these three pieces of Toffee. Oh, I mean, that's still better than what I got. I got nothing.

I mean, it's just really, really hot right now. I guess that's not true love either. No, it's not. It's more just primal love. That's infatuation. That's infatuation. That's not love. Cremie.

What's your feeling is validation from being with an attractive partner. The number three is magic. It's past, present and future, bra. That's true love. Frost, you have this toffee in your crotch. Yeah, it's getting sticky. And it's melting in your body heat. And your skin begins to absorb the magical.

I don't know. He butt chugs. He butt chugs the, it slides down. It slides down. It slides down. Yeah. Oh. Wait.

So you think I should just get married to whatever the fuck I used to. Look, it's important that you just, um. I don't want to marry us. It's important that you tell us what. What are that? What are that? Oh, my God. Oh, I'm just.

I'm feeling the fur. Oh, well, frost are you back? Oh my gosh. The last hour has been very strange. Are you all right? I feel like you fish fried your brain, get it? I do get it.

Unless like some fish and chips. Yes, I, uh... It still smells like fish and chips in the air. I'm going to need to process all of that. My fucking tan. My fucking tan, Gregor. I know it's coming. and you just say it and it's funny

I don't know why I'm fucking mouth Cremie I was going to help you by giving you the toffee but unfortunately apparently the toffee and the taffy can be absorbed well perhaps not the taffy the taffies can be absorbed through the skin and now I'm back to my normal

form I have no way of helping you but you have to understand no kisses from anyone are going to help you we experimented with Gideon when you experienced the same ailment Was he a frog? He believed that that's happened to him, and I kissed him on the mouth

because he thought I was his true love, and it did not work. Well, I just need, because you two aren't true love. That's why I didn't work. No, no, no, no, no. It's impossible for you to find anyone that you could possibly kiss and also undo your frogness.

You understand? So I'm just gonna be like this forever. I mean, it doesn't look too bad, frankly. No, you just need to get more taffy, with this fucking leaf. Oh, well, I mean, I mean, I have this piece here. What?

Well, does he eat that piece then? Mm-hmm. I just wanted to wait for all these stuff. I'm pretty sure if I did my math round. They're all done. You met a game fucker. I was never good at. I was so happy when I saw the memory one

because I was like he's going to have to use it after he loses his gunball recipe. I'm no match magician. But yes, that's all six. Oh, this crime's making me hungry. Oh, do you enjoy? I need some candy. It's actually, yeah.

Candy will make it all better for me. Clearly, this one was not made properly, and it has no effect. I'm kidding. Of course it works. It's too. It's. Boom, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,

bump, bum, bop, bop. Hey, welcome back. It's the green. I mean, you're green in both ways. You guys are fucking idiots. What? It's equal parts oil and flour and you heat it over the heat

until it turns about, you know, depends on what you make. but if you're making gum bones, it'd be nice and between milk and dark chocolate. Oil and flour. What the fuck does that even mean? What the fuck would happen with water and flour? You just sort of like boil it? That's fucking stupid. You're just oil and flour?

That's it. You don't really peanut butter or caramel? No, it would be fucking disgusting. God, you guys are dumb. I've never made Rue before. I mean, I just kind of stop paying attention when you're like, I mean, like, oh, yes, we gotta more do, we got to add to Trinity.

And I'm like, stop trying to put you religion on me. I'm just trying to watch the circus. Do you guys want to go check on Gideon, or do you want to do another thing? I think they said it would be about, you know, have along, and I think it's almost about time. We should probably head back. I feel like, yeah.

The dungeon master, really. I mean, if we think it's... You have, you still have the bubble pot teapot to go to, and you've now been directed to go see Dear LeGron at Lost Property. I feel like we need to wait for Gideon to visit Mrs. Kiddy whiskers. I don't know why, but I feel, she feels important to my memories.

And I don't, well, I feel like it's been a lot. How do I remember your name? I think they were coming up on the final hour. How do I remember? Does you guys know? You're being called out that rue is butter and flour, not oil and flour. Well, it depends on how you make a rue.

The French sways, yeah, the first fancy. folks across the sea, they might use butter, but that's simple swamp folk. No, no, no. No, no. We use oil. You could use any fat, though. I'm not against a butter roo, but... Damn, Kermy's dropping some Nolinghs.

If you're making gumbo, you're going to burn the butter before you get your rue as dark as you need to. Is that why we made so much rue after Kirby Dave died? I mean, when you got that much fat, you're not going to let that go to waste. It's already not a nice Brian from the sea, you know?

Exactly. It's hard a season. Okay, so it sounds like we can go to the teapot. And perhaps if we can time it right, we might be able to pop our bumbles just as we pass over Pixie Kingdom and land in the hospital, which we didn't have access to previously. Oh, and this Pixie strip mall. Yes.

And if we get a 24-hour etching. We're going to go to get a cinnamon bun. Oh, and a cherries, berries, berries, juice. We go to Hot Top. Oh, another loud and star corn mall. Maybe perhaps the Spencer's. It's going to be one of those. And you have this conversation as you leave the grotto,

make your way across the river and begin heading towards the bubble pot teapot. We do. And it is at this time that you hear some commotion. Oh, no. As a gaggle of pixies rushes towards you. Oh, no. Grico, your future wife at the head. Bixie as she rushes towards you.

Oh, God, honey! That's where we'll end the session. Yeah. Honey, snums, funny, girl. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventras podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Higher

to unlock Shroud Over Saltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Avantress. If you want to chat about the episode with the Aventras community, join us on Discord at Legends ofaventras.com slash Discord. We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. So make sure you follow our socials at Legends ofaventris.com slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends

with a folk horror fifth edition supplement published by us. Get your own copy at the crooked moon.com. Thanks again and we'll see you next time.