Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 14 | Sashay Away

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Reunited with Gideon, the Krew takes a bubble to their debut drag performance...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/tmXD_dLzexI?si=OUE2_AKu4evfgmAr

Greetings. You're listening to Legends of Avantress. My name is Morning Frost, and this is Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. All the while, you are thinking about your friend Gideon, who is locked away in a pixie hospital. It is after the mine that you decide to make your way towards something that has been ever present at this carnacle. The sounds of the calliope, as it plays throughout your adventures here, where you will have to make your way back towards the ticket booth. You're all just going to turn into a ladder. Two. Cremie, are you all right? You fell down real hard.

Do you. Can you help me up, please? I look like I stepped out of spear halming. We're all a bunch of elandering sex pets. I'm not a pervert. I'm just an elandering. I wish to make a fay pact for more tickets. Thanks for the ticket, my good man.

You're welcome, bro. May the wind under your wings never falter. out. A mermaid lounges in a giant bowl singing a glorious haunting song that captivates spectators on the lake shore. You can hear the sounds of whimpering and crying. She's clearly in distress. This is clearly Palasha's home and where she spends her time when she's not performing. I'm dumb as a rock. My name's Brett. And so this Kenku has stolen Candlefoot's voice. If you want more information about what's going on, I do believe that Dear LeGron might have the

that information. You can find her at lost property. I feel like we need to wait for Gideon to visit Mrs. Kiddie Whiskers. Make your way across the river and begin heading towards the bubble pot teapot. A gaggle of Pixies rushes towards you. Oh no! Gideon has awoken and is in this moment that you are surrounded by these talkative pixies as they're all yelling and speaking over each other as they celebrate the fact that Gideon is awake. He has been moved to a, he's been removed from the Pixie Hospital. Pixie Fixie was

able to work his magic and resolve whatever issue had caused Gideon to fall unconscious after he was thrown viciously from the back of Pine Cone the Pug, the unicorn pug. And he has been moved to the medical station closest to Pixie Kingdom of the human beings. size and they begin to make their way through the streets of the witchlight carnival leading you in that direction. They're all chatting furiously, but you are not pixie size and you notice that though you did understand that Gideon was awake and the instructions you were given that they're now talking over each other so quickly and it's such a high pitch, you have no idea what they're saying. They sound like large, they sound like squealing, grating, um, uncomfortable

music notes that dogs hate and bark at. And that's what's happening as you're being led towards Gideon. Ah, this is my hell. I'm in hell. I'm in hell. Oh, no. I'm in hell. I mean, I'm in bliss.

There you go. I'm in wedding bliss. Yes, you have to keep up. I'm in hell. The positive comes. Come. Oh, Rico. Look, we didn't make any kind of contractual obligations, did with this.

This was all verbal, right? Well, it's Faye business. I believe that's contractual obligations. Yes, it's probably contractual obligations. Do you think contracts and override verbal agreements? Yes. All right. You can make an amendment, for example. You can make a new contract that just invalidates the verbal agreement.

Are the the soon-to-be brides with this, too? No. Excuse me, mother of the bride of which I do not know her name. The mothers and the brides aren't here either. It's just the bridesmaids. The bridesmaids of the bride of who I do not know her name. One, what is the name? Two, my name is Tremela of Unicorns.

And three, um, I'm pretty sure you were marrying Zachsy. Did I have a- That sounds right. That sounds right. Bigsy and Zachsy, yeah. Kind of forgot her. Very on brand. Classic, Cremant.

At what point do you think we'll get a chance to speak with our patrol? Maybe we should just, you know, drown. One moment. At this point, I don't see a way out. It may just be the way that they speak. I'll try communicating telepathically. Can you tell my friend through me, just think the answer to his question. What was his question again?

He was asking, what was your question again? I was asking, when can I see my betrothed? When can he see his betrothed? Oh, you can't see the bride before the wedding? That's bad luck. It's mad luck to see her before the wedding. I needed to sign a document. She needs to sign a document.

It's very important. Oh, I don't think that's going to work out very well for her. Would we be able to give you the document for her to sign and then you can return it to us? Two documents. Two documents. We have double documents. You need Zaxi to sign two documents? No, we need Zaxie to sign Cremie's document.

And we need Mixey to sign. Mixy. Yeah, that's what I said. Mixy. Mixie. Mixie to sign. to sign Kremies, Grikos. I'm Grick.

Yeah, sure. I guess if you want Mixie to sign it, that's fine. I don't know why she would. She's not even coming to the wedding, but whatever. No, what is the name of the beloved of Griko, the Petroza? Did he even get his wife's name? I did. I'm very stupid. He's naming Bixie.

What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Bixie needs to sign the thing. Oh, don't. Wait, you need Minxie and Bixie to sign it? No, we need Bixie to sign Grico's document and Zaxi? I don't know. Was the name's Axie? I don't think I've got a name.

I can't keep it. I can't keep a track. I feel very confuddled by it. I should have terrible PTSD. Everything that's happened the last two hours of my life. On the reality, I met it like 10 minutes ago. Like in the reality, the world with that man.

And I just turned it. I forgot my fucking notes. My fucking notes, Grammy. Using Frost's great intellect, he knows exactly how to refer to. No, it does not. It does. It does.

Does not. Make, make Gideon actually lift up how much, you make Mace actually lift up how much Gideon would be able to lay. I should be able to use my brain RP style. Have you seen me? I'll do it right now. Yeah. Look at those guns.

Yeah. Mike, come over here. That's a lot. I don't think you know. I mean, Mace is strong. I don't get that strong. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right.

Just write this down. It's Bixie and Zachsy. Zaxi. And Bixie for Grico. Zaxie for Cremic. And Craxie. Ooh, let me. Great, huh.

Oh, no, that's a cousin. She wasn't invited in the wedding, but she's probably gonna show up. You have no idea. Oh, God. What's your name? I'm sorry. Well, what's your name?

Oh, my name's Grixie. Grixie. Pixie needs to sign Grico's document and Zaxi needs to sign Kremi's document. It's a very important prenuptial ingredient to make sure that she inherits all the wealth she's deserved. Oh, Pixies don't care about wealth,

but I'll let her know. Oh, let her know about my Funko Pop collection. It's a Funko Pop collection. Oh, she loves Funko Pop. Fuck. Yes, well, she'll need to sign this document. if she's going to inherit it. Well, no, no.

These are pre-nups. Foss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm trying to sell. No, the point is, if they have a split, he's taking the funco pops, is the point. Oh, no one touches my vast, inexpensive, unco-pop.

You'll just have to read the contract. Is it all right if we can give you the contracts and get them to? Yeah, sure. Go ahead. All right, thank you. Contracts? and there'll be like a shadowy kind of like almost portal that opens up and you'll see these two kind of scrolls um here out of thin air written in some horrible eldridge font and then roll up um and one'll like it'll be clear the ones for zaxi and one's like it'll be clear the ones for zaxi and zaxi and zaxi and zaxi and zaxi and there's lots of text and something like it's very very very very very small all right here you go

In here, yeah. Oh, so they do get very, very small? The font, there's extremely fine print. Are you sure you don't want to write the important stuff in the largest font? They're going to be able to read the small font. I mean, yes, have you seen out small ladies, even for Pixie, I think that'd be hard to read. Hey, I mean, you're the one who summoned them out of the portal that looked like the lost souls door from Beetlejuice. It's about shadow dancing very star's still.

If you're feeling confident, I can hand them the papers. I'm feeling good. Thank you. She takes it and immediately slams into the ground with the weight of the scroll. It's human-sized, and she's just a pixie. Well, I'm very sorry about that, but... Ow, my fucking bitch! You're going to be all right, Grixie.

Let me just... My name's Grixie. That's what I said. I would have fucking down. I've been taking my meds. Can we get some taffy over here for Grixie? I'll take my staff and I'll arm my cane and I'll sort of wave in and I'll say transmogrify and they'll shrink down to a pixie appropriate size.

Oh thank God I can carry this and the other one too. All right well just you know you can sign them real quick we don't got a whole lot of time. Oh you want me to sign them all right so you don't start signing it. Have them signed have them signed. Have them signed. Yeah sure. They're labels for your convenience one goes to bixie and another goes to zanxy. Okay I will let him know it's a pleasure.

I'll see you to meet you Oh, yeah sure We've met before But whatever It's via mind telepathy Oh yeah No, it's been nice having you in here

It's very spacious Can you see all of my thoughts in here? If I wanted to I can shuffle through your mind Like a library book Oh, would you like to? I Perhaps another time

Oh, all right Well, I'll see you later. Thank you. Goodbye. I think she was coming on to me. Frosty, you can't afford free weddings. Then a funeral's next. Oh, yes, you're right.

If one of us gets married, then. The Gidey is in the hospital. Oh, no! We need to get to Gideon right away. It is around this time that you round the corner and you do see one of the Candy Striper Pixie medical stations, but next to it you see a human-sized first aid station. And behind it on a small car,

in a plush cotton robe embroidered with moons and stars and a large, and it's in like a very pale like periwinkle blue. You see Gideon laying on this guy. He's got a plush pillow behind his head, a cute little nightcap, the kind that comes to a point with a little puff ball on the end. Yeah, and all embroidered with moons and stars

and a beautiful golden embroidery thread. As he lays there and you see there are four pixies around him, and they're slowly feeding him grapes and just chatting to him. And as you get closer, you can, you begin to hear the conversation. It was so scary the way you looked in there, Mr. G.

Well, yeah, I didn't think I was gonna make it. Neither did we. We were also, where you can see that they're blushing, and they're very, very excited to be around Gideon. We was just so worried about you. We were waiting on your hand and foot. Yeah, well, you know, I really think that's all that got me through it. I think you're a tender touch.

Can we see him here all this? Oh, yeah. And you know what was so, it's, you're back to your right size, but Mr. G, we couldn't believe how large you were, even so small. Is he still pixie size? No, no, he was doing size. Oh, yeah. Oh.

Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. You put too many grapes in your mouth, Mr. Jean. Yeah, no, that was just one more than my previous record. So she starts to wipe the sweat from your brow. Just let taxi take care of you, Mr. Gee. I think that he was faking this whole time. He's eating grapes.

He seems fine. He doesn't seem muddled at all. Oh, yeah. Why would anyone eat great? Look how well oil he's been. Oh yeah, why's he so shone? Do you need me to rub some more coconut oil into your chest? Are you feeling okay?

Is that cough coming back? Oh, Texie, I think my shoulders are, I think I tweak something. Let me get it for you and she immediately goes up behind you and starts with massaging onto your shoulders. Oh. And her size, wouldn't that be like? Oh, hello, everyone.

Hey, get in here. Oh, gosh. What the fuck happened to you? Oh, yeah. Oix, can you please be quiet? Poor Mr. G just had a harrowing experience, and he's still got quite the headache, don't you, Mr. G? Oh, taxi, that's, that's kind, and I take like a knuckle and put it to her cheek and just give her little one.

Oh. Oh! You know, I'm modulate the power. No, no, no, I don't touch you. I don't touch her. He's allergic to coconut oil. She's a clown! No, is she particularly funny at all?

No, I don't touch her. Oh, it's actually, you got something in your hair, like, oh, over there. Oh, do you mean the moss? And she has, like, beautiful moss and twined in her hair with some little flowers. I think it's just coconut oil, Grant. Oh, oh, I'm having, like, hair gel, you know?

Oh, you mean this? And she's got one part of her bed and sticking straight up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good look. It's a good look. I need you all to be quiet. Just lean you out your head back, Mr. G.

And she takes an acorn filled with an alcohol, and she starts pouring it into your mouth. Yeah, be a good boy and drink it all down. And then she starts rubbing on your throat. What's that? Yeah, swallow it all down. You're going to be all right. That's like a bar news.

Oh, God, I wish that was me. That was tour bag. You hear often that As Tombegg wishes that was Torbeck. Shut up, Torbeck! Oh, well. Guys, I've had it kind of tough after, Krillen, you said you'd never mind-control me again

unless it was for really fun purposes. And it was for a really fun purpose. What did you tell me to do it? I told you to punch Grico off the pug. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. I could have fun. Yeah, I think you should.

Swit spotted me. I'm expecting you to fall off, too. But here we are. That's what happens when you play with mind-control, Grimmie. Nobody wins. Well, I mean, to be fair, I kind of won. No. I mind-controlled the guy to make a stocking.

But what does that even do? You all immediately think of the feat. This horrible, horrible feat. Oh. Curled toenails. Do you feel they have antifungals in the Faywild? I hope so, otherwise the fungles will come out and lift the toenail up like a fucking.

That's how they get to their home. That's how they get into their home. They lift it up and there's a little ladder. They go down into the toe. And they all have Brooklyn accents, yeah. Just because everybody does. Gideon, are you feeling refreshed enough to join us on our life?

Literally the threat against our lives, we have to complete this quest together. I don't know. I mean, I got a pretty like throbbing pain a little bit lower. Yeah, I guess I'm fine. I mean, I mean, I'll give you 10.50 minutes. I mean, it's not, it's not, well, I'll give you five minutes. Yeah, you know, yeah. Look at the time. I point, and there's a giant floating pumpkin over an hourglass. We can't, we can't afford 10, 15 minutes. There's so much left to do.

We might have two weddings. We've certainly got more to explore. We haven't done the bubble pop teapots, for example. We've got things. Two weddings. You have to marry that pixie twice? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cremmy. No, I got sort of coerced and then, you know, getting engaged.

Getting, getting engaged. Well, Grimmish. What the hell? Yeah. You're engaged? It was a little, what the hell, man? It wasn't, it wasn't my choice. Look, all of a sudden, I felt compelled.

Mr. G. I hate to interrupt you when you talk and your friends, but she turns to look at Frost and you see that his butterfly wings are beginning to shimmer and they look like they're going dull in color. I don't think your friend has his ticket on him anymore. Frost?

Frost, we just got one. We just got one. Yeah, no, that's why we saw those toes could lift it up like the hood of a wagon. Wait a minute. I stuffed that ticket into my golden speedo when I was transformed into Brett. Is it possible that it

whipped back into the Faywild when I became Frost again? Did you butcher your ticket like you did with your taffy? Well, I don't see any stalls around here. I can't check out in the open with everyone staring like this. I'm not in a hospital.

Let's just go a man will close the curtain. We're not in a hospital. There's like a medical tent. Yeah, well, yeah. We're in a medical tent. Do you think they have privacy screens at a medical tent? Are they bad?

They never been this shot before. They were definitely not using them on Gideon. I was being sarcastic. It's a medical tent. I look for a privacy screen. You find an area that you feel like you have a little bit of privacy. You can check your butthole for your ticket. I get way in there.

Do I find a ticket? You don't know. Roll an acrobatics check. Oh, yeah, actually. I believe that slight of hand. I was going to say roll slight a ham. Thank you very much. I don't know what I got because I don't have my fucking,

hold on. Please roll a sleight of hand. It's not an investigation. Roll, roll slight of hand. Yes. Can you please stop saying? Six. Six.

That's that much. Oh, Oh, ho! Oh. One of the pixie nurses comes to help. Oh, wow. The flapping of her winds is both refreshing and disturbing. It's very uncomfortable.

While she's in there, she checks your prostate. Everything's looking good. There's no ticket. Oh, wow. I hope this doesn't awaken anything. Well, I come back out. Mature stream. There's no ticket there.

I don't have my ticket. Oh, no. Oh, that's going to be really unfortunate for you, because now that it's two hours away from the closing of the carnival, the ticket booths closed. What? That's not a thing.

I do happen to have a ticket on me. You have a ticket on you? I would be willing to give it up for a price. What kind of price would you pay for such? Any kind of reward, really. I don't want to... Our lives are in danger. Taxi looks between all of you,

and then her eyes turn and lingers on Gideon. Are you single big boy? Well, I mean, yeah, of course. You can't tie me down. I'm not claimed. I want him. Like officially? Oh, Gideon, will you propose to taxi?

Propose what? Marriage. To sound clear, you want him in the eyes of the federal government. That's what you're saying. I would like to marry Gideon. What? Like, have a married time? We all, no, I would like to be your wife.

You see, all of us pixies have been communicating, and we find the four of you to be quite irresistible. However, there is a hierarchy. And I don't want to tell you what that is for fear it will hurt your feelings, but I will let you know, and I think it's clear. that Gideon is at the very top. Very top. The very top.

No arguments for me. And you see, anyone that marries Gideon would be essentially the greatest Pixie that's ever lived. Oh, I guess maybe... And I want that to be me. I guess old

Shmixie got second choice at least. You know, they say, Gideon slow and steady. Oh, Stix is not even getting married to anyone, but she does have her eyes on Frost. Stixie? Yeah, unfortunately, Mr. Light kind of put some claim on you,

so I think we're backing off. Oh, really? Well, that's very kind of, I can't imagine. I was hoping for, perhaps there was like a nerdy pixie or like booksie or something. Oh, have you met booksie? I didn't know that there was a booksy. I just added S-Y to the end of some random noun,

and all of a little bit of them. Oh, yeah, Bookstees is great. She works in the library up in the treetops. See? Perhaps we can make a deal. Is she like one of those pixies that's like really hot, but she gets cast and so she's an outsider, and I'm like, no one logs me because I wear glasses.

All we have to do is take her glasses off. And all they do is take a glasses. Whoa, she's a supermodel. How did you know that her glasses fell off once and everyone was like, holy shit, they did you? see the eyeballs on book thief is that because you did this? Oh my god, so you're really handsome

when you glasses on on. Frost wears glasses? Derek's like, hey, getting my glasses back, man. I thought you died. Pologize, sir. Man, you wouldn't believe what he was thinking. What a pervert.

It's all right, he's Italian. Gideon, do me this favor. Will you make me the happiest cat in the world? You want to be in marriage someone. Derek, I'm not... Derry, get back here! Yeah, let me get out of here! Yeah, Derek, come on back here.

God would already smell like that come out here. Fuck. What's it? Taxi, what exactly happens to him if he doesn't get that ticket from you? Is he going to be like, okay? No. Does he happen to H-HC? That's what going to happen to Frost.

And look, Hootsey is like an animal, whatever. But if that happens to fraud, we'd be trouble. We need him. I don't have a hootty. What are they going to take? Broke out of prison. I'm not. I just can't go back.

It's not the three of us are going to be trapped here forever. Look, I mean, we got a plan. You know what? I can't go along with this. You know, Frusty is me best pal. Don't do it. Don't do it. You already broke out of prison.

Don't do it. You know I can hear everything you see right? Oh. Oh. Well. But you're so hot, I don't even care that you feel this way as long as you're my husband really. Well, it kind of bringing me around.

All this talking. We don't have to have any rules. You can do what you want. I just really want the title. Well, I mean, you don't limit me and I'm not going to limit you, all right? Because I can't promise, my heart is not a one man kind of heart. Tax it, well, okay. But for us, you owe me your life for the rest of it.

Oh, that's fair. I mean, right. I can write up a contract real quick. Oh, that's okay. I'll marry taxi. We'll have a lot of fun, but you have to be my man servant. Until we get out of the... No, no, no, no, until... No, until?

Well, you are making a life commitment. Yeah, you have to make a life commitment. It seems like a very flexible life commitment, so... Fine, ours can be flexible. I'll do, like, a nice thing for you every day. I think that's fair. Okay. Okay, but every other week, I get to make one request.

What's a week? Every week? Every other week. Oh, no. By-request. Buy monthly. Or is it by week? No, don't use it.

That doesn't make any sense. That should be twice a week. No. No, it's not. Language is weird sometimes. I think it actually means both. What? Depend on the context clues.

It can be twice a week or every other week. He's right, everybody. Which is right. What? Ah! Doesn't make any sense! Listen, Listen, Frosty, I have to marry

an incredibly sexually advanced Pixie who's going to let me do whatever I want. I think it fair trade is that you give me a favor every other week and do something nice for me every day. I'll do one nice thing for you, and I'll do a slightly larger favor for you every other week. Okay.

That's fine. I just don't want to lose any. Look at what Grico lost. What did I lose? I only have the things in my pack. They're going to take my yarn balls. I'll take them to anything. And he's a cat.

after all? I mean, what's it going to do without a yarn ball? Frosty, I wouldn't let him take your balls, okay? I don't know if you'd have a choice. They seem to whisk hootsey away without any of being able to prevent it. What's his hootsie occupied by the guy? Hutsi. Is it a cutsy? Yeah, cutsy to hootsey.

All right, taxi, I'll do it. You're going to marry me? I'll marry you. Oh my God, I'm getting married! And she's squealed. You immediately see like 20 pixies come around the corner and they're like, and they just start squealing and screaming. She flies up to you, kisses you on the cheek.

He says, don't worry, it's going to be a lot of fun. I gotta go tell my boyfriends. And she flies off. I'm in hell. I'm in hell. I'm in bliss. With all these fucking like weddings that are happening now, they're like getting increasingly larger crowds of bride.

Oh, it's huge. It's like a swarm of cicadas. So as soon as she screamed that, of like the fucking, like, Willa Beef from Lyon. And she's going over the mix, and she's with blood out of the sun. And then, Chad, yes, chat, yes, Chapit is no point.

Before she flies off, she does drop a ticket down on top of you, and she flies up next to your ear and she, like, she purchased on, purchase herself on your shoulder, and she goes, thanks for that Frost. You're a real wing man, I gotta say. You're a real wing, to winged lady.

Oh, cute. Bye. And then she flies off. Keep shining, superstar. Because it's a fantasy world, I can hear out of this ear when she leaves my shoulder. So long, I heard you perfectly.

But yes, you are given your ticket. Thank you for telling me that you didn't bring your tickets. You're very welcome. I was like, how am I going to rope a book? another one of them into marriage. And I have my ticket. You do have your ticket. I don't have an extra one for you, but you can just like...

How many pips do I need? I'll just keep back here. I can make a ticket out of an index card. It's eight, is what you have. I don't think you used. I don't think you used any, so... I had used one on the mine cart. Oh, there's coconut oil on it actually.

Oh, yeah. And that's the back of the receipt. Coconut oil never comes up. Oh yeah, you wouldn't want to touch anything in this time. You notice that coconut oil should be really slick and oily. This is not slick and oil. Why does it keep gumming up in my fingers like this? It's coagulating.

I don't understand. What did she rub all over your body? You're also not going to want to sit down anywhere in here. All right. All right, let's do. I put the ticket in a safe and secure spot. Well, what do we have left before our show? We got two hours left, and we got the bubble pop tea pot left.

And do we find anything else related with the Calliopee? No, they ran away. Oh, we met a monkey who was just a normal human trapped in a monkey's body. Oh, well, that's new. Clean minute. And you all gave buttons, donated buttons to you. Oh, and that's right. We raised the hat.

Yeah, we gave our buttons. We all turned into strange elven sex pests. We encountered the most horrific creature known to God and mankind. What else happened? Oh, yeah, you missed the groblin. Oh, yes, you missed the groblins. Oh, sorry. Where is he?

Just don't say grovely. Where is it? Wait, what's a grovely? Why is he freaking out about it? It's hard to describe. And as you're saying this, you hear loudly in the, I'm assuming you guys are walking. Yeah, we're walking towards. You hear loudly, this all mirage is no mirage, adorn its horn with two or three wings to win a prize. That's all. And you keep walking. Should we stump? That person sounded slightly bored, but mysterious.

Well, I mean, she sounded as bored and as not really mysterious before. Frosty was visiting with Mr. Light when we encountered it. Oh, yeah. That's why you're acting as if it's new to me, yeah. Sorry about that. Yeah, we had Torbett for that one. Yeah. Didn't you guys remember my fear from the mind card as being left out of things?

I had a lot of fun when it was your fear. I wasn't really paying attention. It was kind of like, Hetty and, you know. Yeah. Erudat, what's the word? Yeah. I didn't really get it. It's kind of just went over my head.

It's like, oh, this is like the fear of someone who reads the Galterkin by choice. Oh. That's a good book. Would you like a blue frosted cupcake on a stick? Hello. Anyone want to get some free snacks from me? I'm down here. Hello.

Do they have to be blue, little lady? Hi. Hi. My name is Morning Frost. What's yours? Oh, my name's Julia. Doolia? No, Julia with a J, duh.

Oh, no, Gulia? Julia. I heard it. I heard it for a great the first time because I can hear out of this year. But the thing is that Gullio would be such a cool name if I was like a ghost, but I'm alive, so. Yes, well. Yes.

What kind of creature are you? Yeah, I can't read a gods. What I'm talking about? I'm always with you already. I can't do this. Everybody's Harley Quinn. Something serious about Sharre. Magarche. Anya.

Ania! Oh, we got, I got bambooz. You're really nothing changed with you. We lost a lot of weight. I guess that's... Yeah, you've slimed up. I'm a little more stylish, though, you think. Fatty flows.

Oh yeah, we're playing, we're playing at your midnight tonight. You didn't know that, yeah. Well, hi! That's not when you play! I did. I worship charge. She's the best. She's the best.

Yes. Um, oh, he's, uh, Goulia would be a charming name for once you, uh, shuffle off your mortal coelias. If I wanted to do it. You were asking what I am, though, and then I put on the pixie voice for you because I thought it was funny, but I'm a goblin, obviously. Oh, thank goodness. I thought she was a pixie for a second.

Do you think, think you know? I'm like super good at impersonation, so. Oh, I can tell. Hello, fellow goblin. How do you do? A little other goblin, I'm doing like really well, except no one wants to come by and get anything from my little cart. We'll have one of each, or four of each of what you've got. What is inside the cart?

We have four of each, regardless of what it is. I have like an entire list of things that I'm offering if you want to see some of them. I love lists of things, yes, please, right away. Okay, so like when you buy your thing, well you're not really buying it because it's all for free, but when you have it, it will come on a large flower petal. Or you can have your beverage served in a fist-sized snail shell. Oh no. And do you need to keep the shell? Yeah, if you would like to.

I love souvenir cups. Man, I'm a sucker for those. Wait, did you get, is that for real? Was that actually crummy? And you can't even tell a lot. Yeah, I can't tell a lot. You actually like, like, like, cheap souvenir cups. You know the margins of those things?

Oh. When you charge like 25 bucks, and they pay eight because they're at the con of one, you got to do it, and it costs us like two cents. He had the worst souvenir cups. It was just like a slightly thicker material and it just had like a removable sticker on it. Yeah, and if you wash them once, they just warped all.

Yeah. You can't really hold them, right. No, no, we like to hear what you have. One eight, please. No, four of each, please. Four of each, but we like to hear what it is. What are your names? My name is Morning Frost.

I really like that name, but it would be so much cooler if it were not. that. What's your name? Oh, my name is Gregor Grin. That's like a really great goblin name for someone who's weak. Oh yeah, no, I mean that's why me mom named me that. But she always said, hey, Gregal, you have a nice personality. Oh, so, oh, fake smoke.

Stop collecting those pop figures. I'm not going to get out of this house and do something like, you probably play the stupid game. You're finally away. You're wasting your life. I'm just, I'm going to work. Have you even slept tonight, Grico?

Mom, I don't have a scared to burn all shuizy. Hey, Rico. I got to cry. Oh my God, Neil are you saying for dinner? Did your mom feed you? I guess, no. Oh, it's good to see you in my own.

It's good to see it. It's good to see it. I got two mountain douges. Oh. And he just keeps bringing more in. Anyway. How do we walk back to the scene? We go down one cold attack and go,

oh, there's another cold attack over here. Let's give you out. So what's your name? Oh, that's right. Oh, me. I'm Kremlin and I love unicorns. Unicorns are like, all right, I guess. Cool.

Are you fucking serious? Please don't cuss at me because I'm just like a small goblin. Are you an adult? Do I look like mental? Do you look like a guy? You tell me. I've heard about these traps before.

Italian? Or the throne's rebellion. I thought you were going to go in the other direction and she looks really old like the grandma from Fury Road. No, no, no. Oh, God. Okay, your name is fine, I guess, but they will never be able to say it. And what's your name, Cake Chad? Oh, well, I'm giddying, little lady.

How are you doing? I'm okay if you'd like to get something from my cart. I love something from your cart. I haven't eaten in, I guess, only like two hours. We're just eating grapes. It was like five minutes ago. That doesn't really count. You know, it doesn't really like...

I can point out of the pixies right over there. And you do notice that there are a few pixies that are holding up these bundles of grapes? Yeah, well, it was... delicious, but you know, pixies feeding your pixie grapes, it's like, I mean, it doesn't even scratch the surface. Yeah, they were really small. Oh, they would, for them, they were like medicine, ball size cream.

Okay, that's what I was picturing. Well, that makes sense. Well, we'll find out what's in her cart. Yeah, you don't know what I've had to go through these last two hours. You don't know what I've had to go through these last two hours. Yeah, well.

Yeah, you're gonna look in like an empty capriced son. You were really, you were only in there for like 30 minutes. You didn't know what I had to go through three hours. You didn't know what I had to go through some. Yeah. The first aid ten is covered. It's like services everywhere. You're like the rock, you have to have 8,000 calories

every fucking day. Drinking eggs every hour. I want to hear the list. I'm excited to. I love this. I love lists. Is it alphabetical? No, but for me to tell you what's on the list,

you kind of have to shut up. I'm drying. Really? You were just having a conversation with Gideon, and it did not sound like you were Very conversable. Convertible? That's not even the word. I know. I just like to make up my own words sometimes.

Okay, well, if you want to get something from my cart, here is what I offer. And she reaches down and she picks up a sign and she has a bunch of things written in chalk. It's all misspelled. I have the blue frosted cupcake. It is my favorite because I love cupcakes. Waffir d'all.

Yeah. I also have candy, apples on a stick. Oh, my four o's. There is something called the euphoria cookie. It is a saucer sized cookie dusted with particles of fairy dragon euphoria gas. Oh, I'm gonna have four o. Yes, yeah. There is the evening berry wine. It is a sweet non-alcoholic drink. So if you're looking for something that is nice but it's not going to get you a little woo, then this is the one. What I'm four and ayes. We can add alcohol to it. There are the pixie tarts. Do not let their name fool you. They are not made of pixies. They are powdered candy in Little Cubs.

I was gonna say we just left taxi behind us. Yeah, I thought they were salacious pixies as well. No. There's also sugar glazed button mushrooms. It's exactly what it says. They're little button mushrooms and they are sugar glazed. Oh, not for me. I have 10 for giddy. You can also get the Boston cream sugar glazed mushrooms. They have been injected with a nice Boston cream. Oh yeah. I'll have that Boston cream and none of that vanilla cream bullshit. That's just frosten. Oh, yeah, for sure.

The only ones we have are the Boston creams. All right, I'm gonna check. I come back if it's not. Four of those, please. Well, that's one of those. And then one of my absolute favorites because it lasts forever is the treacep lollipop.

Ooh. Trecep. So you'll eat, you'll eat like inps, but you won't eat a pixie. It's very interesting. What are you talking about? I didn't eat an like we just go to them and we like we put a little nozzle in them

and we just... I meant the tree ants. They produce seed. Like tree, tree, tree. They produced seed. What? I meant the tree ant. You know? An ant? Is that... The tree ant? Yeah. Are you asking me about an ant? Like a little

tiny little bug that curls around and goes like... No, the living tree man. Don't step on me. Is this where... If the lollipot made of him? Don't step on me. I'm going to star in two animated. movies in the same year by competing studios for some weird reason. And one of them is going to be spelled with a Z for copyright reasons. It's because they shop around scripts, but that happens.

Oh no, it's actually because of a vindictive studio executive. It's quite an interesting story. Anyway, this is my ant voice. We'll have four of everything. And giddy with our 10 extra mushrooms. Sure, I'll go ahead and pick everything up for you. I'll put it on the large flower petals, I'm sorry. And then I will also make sure that they put your drinks

inside of the fish-sized snail shells that are really pretty that are covered in glitter, and they made it all myself. No snails were harmed in the making of this. I just threw them out back. Aren't these their homes? Yeah, but it's okay because there's a pile of salt. Oh, they're just digging for the new homes.

All right, we'll take them, please. Wait, those snails that tested cheeks, was kicking, you just threw them, and robbed them in the hole, you honedapt them, and threw them into a pile of salt. Maybe getting kicked by chest and cheeks ain't so bad. Well, I am sure that when you find them, they will be happy and alive.

Thank you for the food. It's so weird, too, because every time I go back to say hi to them, they're all gone. Yes, yes. And I have the curiosity when you go back because they're like a frothing pile in the salt. I was wondering what that was.

I thought it was like vampire bats or something. It's their way of saying thank you. Oh, did they leave it behind? Is they present? That's not what it is. Don't you know what it is? I'm trying to keep things happy. Keep water and keep things happy.

It's a thousand to snail genus. Look at the frog, Riddle. Look for old. I'm the frog. It's like a giant frog all the head. The poor one. Yeah. Oh, get down.

I'll see P. Air Flores here coming. I know. Geroon knows out here, Mr. Geroon, over here! Well, say hi to the snails when you see them again for us, and I will try the treasap

lollipop first. That's okay, because I totally gave you like one of everything, so you can try it all if you'd like to. Oh, thanks. Please roll the D-100 for me, please. Oh, no. Please do it for me, please. Oh, I need to get that.

800. Oh, no, it's just eight. I started scrolling to 800. So you got 800? I'll take 800. You are obsessed with kittens. Makes sense? I'm going to start with your favorite.

The blue frosted... Cupcake. Cupcake. It is my favorite. I do like it because the frosting tastes exactly like you'd expect. Oh, it tastes like blue. How did you know?

I mean, I just assumed. You can go ahead and like that. It's going to be a D-100 rule for you. Oh, no. 57. I'd like to eat the massive cake that was a euphoria cake. Oh, yeah.

That was your cookie. Oh, yeah. Euphoria. You get it. Euphoria. All 100 prompts happened to you at the same time. You're in your brain is slow. Oh, silver.

You gain extreme emotional sensitivity. Oh, so like normal. Oh, no snails. It's going to be all right. Move on. Why are you saying that long? So you're going to have the cookie? Yeah.

You will enjoy that, okay? You will do the D-100 for me as well, please. It's going to be all right, Grego. Why you sound so condescending, thirsty? I'm sorry to have to cats blame the view. Why are you cats blaming me? I was going to, why would you steal a joke? Oh, it's not a name.

That's on me. That's not a real apology. You don't sound sad and sorry at all. I'm not sad. You don't believe in fairies. Oh, that's fucking up. I don't know how you know. This is a gaslight condo.

When's the poddle cast way? That's very funny. Do I need to know are like pixies fairies? Yeah, they're fake creatures. So basically you don't believe in the fay. Is everyone fay? Basically everyone? Well, goblins are goblins.

So you would essentially just think that this is a goblin conspiracy and they're trying to make you believe in the fairy carnival. Okay. Excuse me, I was having a euphoria cookie during break. You already got the cigar. If a punch a goblin 20 times, he'd probably die. You're made softball to you. I would hope that you could kill a goblin with 20 punches.

There's a lot of punches. Okay, Krami, what one are you going to have? You want the wine? The wine? Yeah, the wine. All right, sure, if you'd like that, okay. You will enjoy the wine and the D-100, please. I'll pull out a bottle of rum and I'll uncork it and I'll just like top it off.

Kind of like a rum punch or something. Anybody else? Can you roll a D-100 for me, please? Oh, fuck. 72. You should lead a great kingdom for 10 years, but it will fall into ruin due to your efforts. It is your king, Mark. Thank you for the...

Why would you drink like that? Why would you ruin perfectly good, not wine? He didn't ruin it. He made it his own. Why would you contradict me? I'm just trying to guide you to a place where our frog stays in the north and not in the south. Oh, no, that frog is going to beat me with a scary bat. You marry no mite, Pierre.

Pierre. The rum fucking sucks. That's not knowledge. What? I don't know what I'm going to do. What? My empire, it's in decline, fellas. Oh no.

Colonies aren't producing. Oh no. Colonies, what are you talking about? Colonies of my grand empire, across the sea? Across what sea? What the heck you're talking about colonies across the sea? Grand Empire. The Great Kingdom of Le Cruzay.

Oh. That sounds very fancy. The greatest iron exporters in the world? Cremi, if you were an emperor, why didn't you put any of the funds invested into our carnival? It would have been much more successful. Because I'm flat, bro! That's my point, Charles! Wait, is this all you're doing? Is this all all these goblins and dressed up like weird creatures, thinking they can fool me? You're trying to expand out here?

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm just trying to get my money back to save my crumbling empire, because I'm going to end up in a fucking guillotine if I don't figure shit out. People aren't happy, all right? Oh, no, we're not. And if sugar cane isn't coming in and I can't sell the rum, we're doomed. Oh, the sugar cane trade will probably even get outpace by the sugar beet farming.

Well, then that's being subsidized by the kingdom of rodeiandre, whatever fucking... You're gonna fattestime. Oh, gab, the beatings at every turn. Oh, they probably hired shadow faxas their financial advisor. Do you think that there's time for us to find Booksy before we go to the teapot? Or perhaps she'll be there. Oh, we can do whatever fuck he wants. Oh, Frosty, I don't think I have the emotional strength to handle a...

A makeover montaise, where all we do is take off a glasses. It'll be fine, we'll propose, we'll take off the glasses. Oh, we'll start some children right away and then... It's so unrealistic. We've got two hours left. I'm sure there's more than enough time for all of those activities. And you can't just take the glasses off. You gotta comb her hair too. Oh yeah. We gotta go from like a frumpy, like down thing to like a straightened...

She likes a ponytail and glasses. I don't know if she's really hard. Everyone's like, oh, she's an outsider. It's like, okay. No, you know, sometimes she'll have bangs, and then suddenly, you know, she slicks it back and she no longer has bangs at all while her hair's the same length. It's all straightened. Oh.

Oh, it all sounds so awful. Gideon, how long do you think that Pixie's gestation period is? Do you think that I would be able to have a litter of kittens? Yes. Do you think I would be able to have a litter of kittens before? we have to go into the fame wild. What the hell you're talking about? I'm just asking in terms of booksie.

Once we have our wedding, I would love to be able to see my own kittens. Wow. You really took that to a weird place. I'm not even sad anymore. My emotion is disgusted. Because there's going to be a wedding. You don't have to be just sad.

You're just hyper-emotional. So you hyper-discusted. There you go right? shoes on. Keeps covered. I have to make a Constitution. Yeah, and you're being buged on multiple times. Seven.

You fail. You do have your shoes on, but that's not, that's not a boon. My shoes, oh, you got it inside the cuff. Oh, God. Oh, what I everybody about it? Oh, I'm too much more than it, free. Oh, 12. 12.

Yeah, you've been, you had too much to drink and this is just too much. 18. 18. I mean, there are three people, so I'm actually just going to twist to dread this. Can you please roll it again? 20-22. One more time. Oh, jeez.

She's got them. The whole twists of dread is really fun. This is the last one I'm going to do. One more. One more. Okay. One more. One more.

17? Rolling hot. Fire. Yeah. Fuck it, I'm gonna go through a few more. I mean, he's proficient. 16. One more.

Yeah, this is the last one. This is the last one. 25. But you know what? You're gonna roll the ship. Well, it's not so bad. Yeah, you've worked through all of your luck for the campaign. It was worth it.

It was worth it. You are, you're waiting through the, the, the, the stomach contents of your friends. Oh, I'm not going to red wine and rubbing alcohol. Oh, the trefam. The tree fap. Oh, my pukes blue. My teeth will stain like a put-putt-calf lake.

This doesn't bother me in the slide. It's just another day at the carnival. I continue, you feel. You all do and you notice, Gideon, you look around and you see that poor Julia is standing there, just covered in bonner. She looks so upset as her cart and her candy. She's like knee deep. And she just starts to cry. Oh, hey, you got a little something right here.

It's all been delicious. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's their fault. You, that's bad poison. seems about reasonable. That's a reasonable thing to do and doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's, it's fun, I just miss,

yeah. That's disgusting. You've ruined all of your wards. Oh, we need to get that hell's up, but I'm not gonna be able to walk in these. After a bit, you watch this go on for another two to three more minutes. Yeah, we go on.

But eventually there's nothing left in your stomachs and you're all just standing there covered in vomit and uh... You know vomit driving, driving. Grigo is, you have me having children really so disgusting to you? I mean, I'll just suddenly you're like having like this, like, oh, I need to breed suddenly. I don't want to hear this conversation and I am covered in the vomit. So I'm going to go out, hold on, hold on, let me, I can fix this.

I can fix this. And I'm sarcastic presentation and I get a little whiff and I just want to. I'm trying to say that. Gini and they need you to make another Constitution. He's crushing here. You have. What the fuck? Bottily-Feeze-Me.

Cremie goes to clean this up. And Julia looks like she's feeling a lot better. She's clean. Her cart's clean. But Grico moves a little bit closer to Cremie. He gets a whiff and he just vomits all over Julia. Just completely covering her again. Me?

Julia. It's like a scene on the exorcist. And she just turns with her cart and just hauled. car and just hauls ass. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Leave, leave, leave. You are watching all this completely unfazed. Yeah. Oh, man.

Seen this movie before. I guess that's why they call you cake chad. You're able to keep that all that down. It's amazing. I call me cake chags. I beat you in that contest. It doesn't matter with you. Others threw up during that competition. You have an iron stomach.

Well, yeah, I guess maybe that is the reason. Yeah, just don't throw up when I eating in. obscene amount of food, and when other people throw up on me, or when other people throw up on other people and food. My most of me. Well, the good news is now that we've voided our stomachs, it's a great time to go on the bubble pop tea pot. We should also leave before someone discovers that this is our responsibility. It would seem like an hour just to stab this away.

Oh, is that what? Is that what Wisenheimer did? That's exactly what he would just turn to drink and vomit. and just like, oh, I cleaned it out. No, you didn't. And it is about this time that you find yourself presidigitation clean as you made your way towards the bubble pop.

I threw down like a large like a canvas or something that I would normally like camp in. It immediately started to get soaked, even though it was a canvas. I like to think that other patrons of the carnival are like walking on it like a water. What the fuck is that smell? Like a waterbed.

Kids are jumping on it thinking it's a bouncy castle. Sure, sure. Oh, God. Well, I still want children, and I'm very hungry. I'm the rule of a failing empire, and I'll surely be executed for my crimes against humanity. That's unfortunate. Oh, my sense of justice for that.

I feel quite good about it. I would. I think the trick yet, he was never sick because you wanted to have kids. He was sick because you haven't seen what's going on here yet. Oh. Said everything around here is a goblin conspiracy. They're all dressed up like weird creatures and trying to convince us this is some kind of fairy carnival. Okay.

Well, I can't fool me. You're saying that you don't believe in fairies even though we're surrounded by fairies? Surrounded by fairies. Surrounded by goblins and fairy costumes. You're wearing fairy wings right now. These are goblin constructed fairy wings. That's a good point. They are constructed, probably.

Yeah, these aren't wearing fairy wings. I just rip these right off a fairy. How stupid can you get? What possible benefit would they have for constructing fairy wings, as you call them? I'm a goblin. I don't know. No one involved in the conspiracy.

Yeah, well, he's a perfect example. Grico does a bunch of stuff for no reason at all. He's kind of, right. It kind of has a poor way. And don't you think kittens are very cute? They've got their little beans And it's like No

You take a little No, I think a full-grown cat's actually Cuter if you ask me Really? Yeah, it's a little more filled out They look more like appropriate Like they're supposed to A little chanky

You're wrong and you should feel wrong No, I'm right I'll rocham boya Prove it How do you What's a rochambe? You're quartz part from she is I don't play that

I've played it many times I'm usually quite good at it Oh, let's have a court parchment shear off. You good at it? I'm terrible at it. I'll do it anyway. We're gonna rochambe.

I'm not gonna blow my detect thoughts on this, but. Is it bow or is it go? It's quartz, parchment, shears, shoot. Reveal, okay, okay. Shoot. I thought it was Rose sham, bow, shoot. Court's parched, shire, shoot.

Oh, your paper is to the sign like this? I do this, yeah. Oh, okay. That's fine. So that it's a little more contrast in this. This is ridiculous. You know what I mean? I think that.

Quartz, Partman, Shears. Oh, very nice. Oh, best two out of three. We don't know. We're right at the bubble pop top. Oh, look, here we are, fellas. Let's go. You think that little goblin beer's going to be okay?

Not when she finds out about the snails. She'll probably throw up in all that salt, ruining it forever. That amount of salt would be quite. valuable. A folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thanks.

Goodbye. A 20-foot-tall teapot rests on a wooden platform. Its painted surface whirling with moving imagery of flying dragons breathing steams of bubbles. A door at the base of the teapot allows entry to its interior. Those who enter emerge from the spout enclosed in a bubble that detaches to float off across the carnival. seven goblins sit around the platform, sipping tea from mismatched porcelain cups. Oh, more goblins.

They're not paying much attention to you. There is one goblin at the head of the table who has a large top hat, protruding nose, small spectacles resting on top of his large nose. And he seems to be the one who is the most prominent. of all of them, but they are just enjoying tea together. Maybe we should go to the swan again. Do you think?

No, I like to look at this fella. I'm suddenly happy about this. Oh, look how beautiful it is. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, let's go. Hello, we would like some tea. Most prominent goblin. What is your name? Hello.

How goes it? My name is Morning Frost. How are you? How do you do? I'm tricker-wise. look at my thighs, welcome to the bubble pop. Oh, are its thighs. I look at his thighs. His thighs aren't carved.

He's wearing greasy 80s short shorts. And it zooms in with this sponge while my friend. Oh, no, he's hot. No, he's wearing, he's just, he's wearing like a three-piece suit. Oh. A velvet suit and jacket. Oh, yeah. But only from the waist up.

This is a good job. Yes, he says, welcome to the bubble pop. This is the place that you must stop. He's certainly Italian. It's very clear that he's speaking to in rhymes. Oh, you just rhyme. Did you come up with that on top of your head? Is that why you decided to rhyme with thighs?

I'm very perplexed. Triple lies. It rhymes with thighs. There's not a lot. Please let me stop. Well, you could say that in the bubbles we would fly, for example or a nice there's a wrong with a there's a rhyme there's no s maybe some flies in these bubbles we would flies oh yeah I guess it doesn't

quite hmm why would you ever think that that would rhyme perhaps we can enjoy some pies oh don't you remember the known poetry the go the psychopaths poetry left me out of that one the dragon poetry oh goes through the door and you will soar as the bubbles rise to your surprise you'll see the fair up in the air Oh. Oh, that's kind of cool. That's pretty good. All right, let's do what he said. Let's go through here.

Yes. Keep your feet on the grass. This is so hot. Yes. I'm going to eat some watercress. Or perhaps yes, you confess? That's another way to rhyme, yes. Are you rhyming to him?

Yes, I confess. Absolutely. Do you need to punch my ticket? Enjoy some tea. This ride is free. Go through the door. No ticket, please. Oh. Your ride,

your rides on me. Oh. You messed me up. Sorry, I was doing a different riding scheme. I was just trying to help. You do this all the time. Yeah, I was expecting the ABAB. That was good.

Well, thank you very kindly, sir, for helping someone made of covered in fur. He gives you a box with a beautiful, a beautiful porcelain teacup in it that is emblazoned with the symbol of the Witchlight Carnival. and a pack of loose leaf tea that says scatter leaf tea on it. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Look at that sign that says the bubble pop-tipop only stops through emergencies. Crying is not an emergency. No, there is that sign. Yeah, it's there. Take note of that, Grigo.

Don't forget. Scatter what tea? Scatter leaf tea. His name is Scatter-Wise? Trickle-wise. Trickle-wise. Trickle-wise. I like this fella.

He rhymes. nice. He's got a handsome thighs. You were great to meet. Now move your feet. Get into the bubble, but don't get in trouble. Okay. Just do what he says. Right away.

Are you going to retire soon? I'm fucking hope so. Oh, well, you're your replacement by me. He clutches his chest and dies. Oh, my heart! I'm allergic to blue frosty! The next goblin walks up and picks up the top hat.

It turns him into a running. Oh, no. No! Kalu, Kalei, I want from ski here today! We attempt to get into, we're getting into a teacup? Yeah, there's a very large teapot. The, there's a door, teapot. And there is a door to the side, or that's open on the side.

You can walk straight in, and as you walk in, and as you walk in, a bubble forms around you, it begins to look. lift and it goes up out of the spout and begins to fly up over the carnival. Are there any Connie's manning this? No. No. I swear to God if any of you throw up in here. Oh no.

Are we all together in one bubble? For the sake of brevity and because I don't want to deal with you all in separate bubbles, yes, you're all going to be together. Oh. It's not, no, nothing. I'm freaking about throwing out. No, no, no. I'll tell you a joke.

I'll tell you a joke. Um, I put a spot remover on my dog. and now he's gone. Oh, don't get him. How's he gone? Oh, the dog catcher probably got him. Knock on, Grigo. Knock out, Grigo.

Say who's there. Say who's there. Lettuce. Lettuce. Ew, it's gross. No, it's fine. Let us. Who?

Let us in. Let us in. We're cold out here. Ha-ha. Please don't like. Please don't laugh at that joke, please. Please don't really laugh at that. Why is the code is actually quite nice and temperate?

I was just trying to distract you. Oh no, is it a submissive trying to commit a home invasion? I make this afraid. He's afraid. Why don't you be afraid of a vegetable committing a home invasion? I'm so afraid I'm going to throw up. No, no, no, no, no. Thinking something cute like kittens.

Oh, kittens. I think of something cute like, um, like, um, look at all of your carved totems. They represent what you think is cute, right? Look at their faces. Oh, it's more of a spiritual respect, not cute. I'm offended now. Okay.

What happened to tell you, Frosty? Think of incredibly cute small owl bears. Oh. That was probably. Like, that's really nice. Yeah. Like, oh, a hootie is a noise they might make. Yeah.

You more like a hootoo-oo-choo-hoo-choo. A little house. Oh, that's so cute, you're wrong, idiot. What can we say? Bubble floats over the carnival. And you can see the entirety of this place. It is a kaleidoscope of colors, sounds, smells.

You experience everything from up this high. I look for Sacco. You can see the beautiful cotton candy clouds and pinks, purples and blues that float above this place. way that glitter just rains down and intersperses with the air, giving it this ethereal sheen to it. Looking out, you see people that you recognize. You see the Palash is back in her bubble and she's performing. And next to her, his outfit in full color is Candlefoot the Mime. And people

are throwing flowers and coins as his miming is clearly happy and joyful. And he's great at it. Wow. The energy that he had lost is now back. He is himself again. You see the way that they look at each other and smile as they perform in tandem together. And as her performance ends, she pulls herself up out of her globe and she leans down and plants a kiss right on his cheek. And he mimes swooning and falling over and the crowd goes wild. You feel the happiness meter rise. That's Max. I know.

If we go one more, then everyone in the carnival comes at the same sense. They die. The carnival is covered in a sticky white film. I mean, look at the perimeter of this map. It's a ball sack, everybody. We solved the mystery. We do also look for balls sacko.

Yes, I will get there. You continue to look around and you see people that you've met, people that you know. You actually look towards Mr. Witch and Mr. Light's Carnival as you see they are leaving it currently. Burley is holding the door open. And on the other side, you see a clown of varying description.

I'm trying to find his photo. It's just easier. The what you said? Should I? Yeah, right? The what? You see a chubby clown hanging out off to the other side, smoking a pipe. He looks, he looks frustrated, angry.

You see the way that he looks at Burley with almost a sense of malevolence every time Mr. Witch and Mr. Light look away. But the moment they turn their attention to him, he is filled with jubilence. and he performs small acts of frivolity, but it is clear that the moment they look away, his mask breaks, and the person he is pretending to be is not the person he truly is. Gideon, you feel a sense of anger welling up inside of you.

That is a clown that must die. I'm just kidding, you don't feel like, you can feel whatever you are. Yeah, yeah. That is Thacko. What a dumb face. Looks like he has a peanut butter allergy. but you

you see many of the folks that you have met along this journey you even at one point see the dwarf that had almost fallen to his doom during the dragonfly rides and he has a cast on one of his foot on one of his feet but aside from that he's wandering around

with a what appears to be a very happy dwarf and family and they're enjoying currently listening to the music at the Calliope His small child is putting buttons into the container with a marigold, and everybody seems to be happy and enjoying themselves. And it is at this point that you are looking around, you see that something catches your eye, something that hadn't been at the carnival prior,

and it seems to be the place that Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are heading to at this moment. Set up right outside of the big top is a large staging area with a beautiful neon sign that says, Mr. Light's House of Drag. There are three goblins standing outside selling tickets. You notice a gigantic line where people are getting their tickets pre-punched for their seats at this place. But it is how they set something up like this so quickly. It's hard to know, but you see exactly where you'll be performing.

and just a short amount of time. In a short amount of time, we'll be performing there on that stage. The House of Drag. Are we, like, contractually obligated to show up to this thing? I think that if we're going to keep spirits high, then our very lives are at stake. If we don't make it through this festival and able to cross into the Faye Wild,

then our lights are forfeit. We'll never get the money that we need to survive in Agway. I just feel like I'm going to have rotten vegetables thrown at me. I mean, given the widespread poverty and just general dirty conditions of the major cities of the empire, I mean, how are they going to feel with their leader, you know, having a good old time putting on a show? It's a bad look. In my experience, someone who's occasionally been on the vegetable or fruit throwing side, you're having a good time doing that. So take a few tomatoes in the face for your empire.

and for our mission. And it is at about this time that the bubble floats you directly to the door of Mr. Light's House of Drag and pops. All four of you tumble out right in front of the entrance. And you immediately see a, you are not broken, you are fine. You're not good.

Oh no, I think all the bones are shattered. Brickle in full scorpion. I think his spine is broken. You immediately see a goblin, a goblin, a female goblin, a witchlight hand, who rushes up to you. She's got a clipboard. She's jotting things down. She's got a sending stone, a rocky-talkie in her hand. And she's constantly like, yep, my God, don't worry about it.

Nope, they're here. They showed up. Yep, nope. I'll make sure they were on in 15. Don't worry. I'm getting them to the dressing room now. Let Mr. Light know that everything is going according to plan. Okay, thank you.

Yep, Stacey over. Is that a sending pebble you have in your ear there? It's my Rocky Tokey. Oh, Rocky Tokey. That's a very clever name. We are very excited for the show. We are sold out house. We have, as you can see, people lining up around the edge.

They are hoping to be able to get in with thinking of doing some kind of major image. and having lawn seating open, we're not sure how it's going to work. We did not expect such a turnout. Like I said, I am Stacey. I am the event organizer today. If you have any questions, please bring them to me. I will answer them to the best of my ability. But no promises, this is the first time we've ever had a drag show here at the Witchlight Carnival,

but it is apparently a hit. I am going to escort you to the very back, to the dressing room, and to Mr. Light's trunk of wonders. You can rummage around in Mr. Light's trucks and find out if there's anything that will help you to perform to the best of your ability. We do have a list of the order of which you're going on tonight. So I hope that you are fully prepared. And if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.

Are there any questions? I have some taffy. I'm feeling a little sensing. Oh, absolutely. And she pulls out a taffy and she opens it and she pops it into your mouth. Oh, I think we could all use a taffian. Oh, right then, let's go ahead and pass it out. I feel very emotionally stable.

You go. I don't feel like I need it. You should go ahead and eat that. and eat that. How much time we got? Because we have a clown to rough up. You have about 15 minutes. So, like, two sessions.

All right, we'll be back later. We got to deal with the clown. You are not allowed to leave now that you've arrived. So I'm going to go ahead and take you back to Mr. Light's truck. Well, I mean, if we got 15 minutes, we don't need long. You have 15 minutes to get dressed and into makeup. Look at you. You are currently not your drag personas.

We do not have time for this Kremel, crew. I know you think that you're running the game, but you have not met Stacy. Don't you know the doffing and donning rules? 15 minutes is barely enough time. All right, chop, chat, let's go, boys. And she immediately turns and heads into the... She had a natural question.

Wait a second, what's the order of... I mean, she's there. You're following. Oh, hey, what's the order we'll be doing our performances? Oh, that's wonderful. Please everyone roll a D4. Oh, God. I hope I get a three. I got a four. I got a four.

I got a four. I got a one. The two of you re-roll, please. Three. That's a nice melody. You got a re-roll. We all got a re-roll. I got a four first.

I'm keeping you said four first. So that puts Gideon. No, you have to be at two because Grickell got three. See your second. Oh, that's a great question. Cremie, you're gonna open the show. So I hope that you have something spectacular.

Gideon, you'll be coming in second. It's a really great place. It's one of the most forgettable spots. Grico, you're going to be there in third. If Gideon does a horrible job, you'll be there to pick up the rest of the crowd. Okay. And then Frost, you're ending the show, so I really hope you have a banger.

I'm ending the show. Yeah, you're going to be in last place. I hope not. I don't want to be in last place. Perhaps last in the order, but last place means it's like I'm gonna get the bed. That makes you feel better about it. This is the dressing room here

and she pulls you into a very well-stocked dressing room. You see that there are four beautifully illuminated makeup tables. There is a large closet that says, that says compliments of Mr. Light. And it is a huge armor just like filled with outfits. And as you open it up, there's like a spiral track that looks like it goes back for years.

And you can spin it and just pull any outfit you could possibly imagine. And you notice that as you think of things, you think of a navy blue turtleneck sweater, and all of a sudden you realize that one appears. You think of pinstriped trousers, and shortly after you think of it, there's a pair of... Kittens. Oh, no, I'm out. Never mind.

You're out. But you think of that, and you see an ugly Christmas sweater that's decorated with kittens playing with Christmas tree. They're still cute. and all of this is available for you. All right, so I'm going to have to read off the announcements for what's happening. Well, I'm not going to be doing it, obviously. Someone else is going to be doing all of the show running stuff.

But I do need a bit of information from you. Okay, so we're going to start off here with who's opening the show. Cremie La Crew, and your drag persona is... Oh, God. I mean, I guess just the letter's fine. What? Lettuce? No, no, stiletta. Oh, stiletta.

All right, that's perfect. And do you have, what are you performing? Are you going to do a lip sync? Are you going to sing? Are you going to dance? Are you doing some kind of talent? I'm just going to do a classic lip sync with the dance. Keep a real traditional. And what song are you performing, too, so we can make sure to have it ready? I'm doing the masterpiece from the Queen of Country,

9 to 5 by Ms. Dolly Parton. She exists in the Faywild. Oh, I love Doll. She's a construct. All right. You slow plan. You had this all planned. All right.

And you are, your drag name is going to be? Oh, well, I'm Fifi Nix. That's nice. Fee Fee Fy Nix. All right. And are you going to be singing, dancing, lip-sinking, performing, reading some poetry,

doing a knife, knife swallowing or something? Not tonight. I'll be doing lip-syncing or just also singing. Oh, wonderful. And you're going to be performing to what? The

classic Johnny Flash song Ring of Fire. All right, Ring of Fire. It's not what I've heard of before. And you said that this is by Johnny Flash. Yeah, yeah. John Fleth, well, unless you need the actual name. He's the King of Country. Yeah, John Flesh. Okay, you got the King of Country. All right.

Yeah, Ring of Fire. And now, Gregorim Grim. and your drag queen name for me, please? I will be trolina. All right, Troolina, that's a different one. And you are going to be listening. I am the sexy, big-titty troll queen. That is lovely, you can prove that to us on this stage. I will be singing my own rendition of,

if I could turn back Tard by the legendary Cher, E's berries. Chair, E! It's a very long jingle for a berry cart, but it does become quite the anthem on Goon. What in the... All right, and that's lovely. All right, Frost, and you are? I've come quite attention to Twinkerbell.

That for you, and we are going to perform what? I didn't realize I was gonna be last. I hope it's gonna be all right. I'm gonna sing a song I've written called Claws Fur robe Heels. And it's a, oh, cool. It's mostly the spoken word. I'm just gonna say, I'm just going to put in here

original song. All right. Mines a twist. Does that count? Yours has a twist? Yes. I would hope they all do. And a death drop, please.

What? Okay, well, I'm sure this is gonna go well. I want a death drop? I didn't realize. Death drop. All right, with that, I think I have all the information that I need. Did any of you have any questions for me before I go ahead and start getting everyone into their seats and making sure that refreshments are provided?

Well, I mean, should we get dressed? Can we have five extra minutes? We have to run on a tight schedule As you can see, we are getting very very close to the crowning of the witchlight monarch, so Mm-hmm I mean surely Mr. Witch can like Give us like an extra I'm sure he could but he's probably not going to

I think he only does that when he's needs a carnival attendees to be knocks. Oh. Yeah. Well, we don't want that, huh? We'll make it work. Oh, yeah, you want to knock with us. We was knocks.

Oh, you were. Yeah. Again, I was left out of something. Yeah, you were left. Oh. Anyway, could we just stop a little bit for coffee? Just a quick little coffee? Do you have coffee?

As long as you don't have any questions for me, you will have roughly 15 minutes to get ready. for your performance. Okay. Thank you. If you do have any questions and she passes you a rocky-talkie, please feel free to call for Stacy

and I will answer promptly and I will come back if I need to. Otherwise, I'll see you on the stage, boys. It's Guy's Night! And she leaves. You are all in your dressing room of this makeshift drag house, Mr. Light's House of Drag.

This place is decked out. It looks like it's pristine. It looks like it was constructed in a legitimate way. It looks like a permanent structure here. Though, without you working it, how could they keep this structure here for ages to come? Maybe you've started something new at the Witchlight Carnival that will be an event that they put on and hire for. But in this moment, for this night, this is the inaugural. Is that what they?

Yeah, it is. The inaugural. This is the maiden voyage of Mr. Lights House of Drag. And the four of you are the stars ready to take the stage. You peek out of the curtains and you see that Stacey was not lying. This drag house is packed full of people. It is at this point standing room only and there is barely any standing room left. It looks like they had had chairs for people to sit,

But there were just too many people and all the chairs have been stacked in the corner and everyone is just packed together in this tight space incredibly excited. You see that there are three balconies up top and filled to the brim in these very, to you they look like small alcoes. But to the pixies, these are gigantic balconies. As you see that each of the wedding parties has their very own balcony viewing spot where all the bridesmaids are wearing sashes. I'm with Cake Chad's wife. I'm with the green one's wife. I'm with that alligator's wife. Why, does she mean me or me that?

And he's got a green robe, too. What do you mean more of that? He means Kremlin? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you're green, I'm green, and he's wearing green. It's a little diffusing. Yeah, there's a lot of green in this party. I don't know if I want to do this anymore.

I... Oh, my God. The name on the front of this place changes, and it's now known as... night light oh yes that's very clever oh I don't get it's good I don't know mr. light instead of mr. light's house of drag it's called nightlight the night light oh I don't get it oh does Mikey get it mr. lie okay I just wanted to make sure Mikey got it Jesus Christ it does still say mr. lights house of drag

it's the sub-title it's called the night light I am I don't know I was very supportive earlier, Kremi, but I'm gonna go last. I can't go last. Real pressure. No, no, no. You're the last few people will see. Think about what happened in the big top. Think about what happened.

I know how you blew it and you ruined everything because there's a lot of pressure. The only reason that went okay is because you guys were able to clean up after I fucked it up. I mean, cleaning up after you and Mr. Law, it's not anything I would wish on my worst enemy. I don't understand. A bunch of bug bears did that.

You hear as Stacey, Stacey's... Oh, like a bunch of money. You hear is Stacy pokes her head in and says, um, did I hear that someone had an issue with the, um, uh, did you, did I hear that someone had an issue with the lineup? You know, you can change that if you desperately need to, right? I just need to know before the show goes on. Oh, we're a-negotiation. If you need to make sure the show is the best that it can possibly be, just please make sure you let me know on the Rocky Talkie. Okay, Stacy out. Oh, thank you,

Stacy. And she leaves. So, uh, with that, Stacy pops in and she lets you know that if, if, if, it will make the show better. You do have permission to change up the lineup, but she needs to know before the show goes on. Could I change my drag name? I had an idea. Is this Cremie? Yeah, it is. Why to do? I love you for me. I am, yes, I'm currently, I'm currently relaying all the information over this will be your last change for your drag name. It's kind of similar, but it's a bit of a twist, just so this is a little different. Can you change a silhouette? Oh yeah, absolutely. Silhu. How do you spell that? Silhouette? Sil Howitt.

Sil Howitt. Sil Huwet. Yep, I got it. Silhuette. All right, you've got it. Anything else? No, that's it. All right, perfect.

I'll talk to you later. Well, I'm going to have to take one for the team. I fucked up earlier. This is your chance for redemption, Frost. Yeah. I'll do my very best. Yeah, just don't fuck it up as badly as Gideon did against that sideclops, remember?

I've been that guy. What do you mean? How he ruined everything with that lady and toolbar? one in remember that and Tobek what she did. No, that's not confirmed. DeVrii had to wash her hair. Beautiful. No.

Laszegovic. Remember, no. Frost isn't paying attention. He's deep in thought. Thinking about how he can find redemption in this moment. Look, I'm going to be honest, fellas. This isn't my style of performance. I'm going to do my best, but you're going to have to clear about power.

You're a natural performer. You worked on a riverbubber. You worked on a river, casino for how many years? Yeah, with sliver hand tricks and counter people dealing cards. Didn't you deal cards when there was literally a gaudy stage performance

to your left or your right? I forget the orientation of the stage because of Pierre's free drinks. I mean, maybe we just do cancans and sing silky smooth jazz songs. This isn't really their style either. Who? I mean, I'm gonna do my best. You could have done darmins or forever.

Or a girl's best friend. You hear a bell ding. A soft ding, ding, ding, you hear the rustling as people begin to fully pack into this space. Oh gosh. You do see that there seems to be some spellcasters towards the back that are working together to do a few things. There's a booth set up where they are managing the lights and making sure that there are bunches of stage lights. You see that there are spellcasters. behind the stage that are working to make sure

that whatever you might want major imaged at the back of the stage for your performance is available to you. Basically any kind of theatrics you would need they are available to manage. I am still trying to DM you fucking degenerate. We're just trying to open a door. It's been his window jam.

And you also see that there are some, there are some magic wheel that seem to be channeling what is going on the stage and projecting it up and outside. And as somebody opens the entrance into the nightlight, you are able to see that there is a hill that's rising, that rises up outside, and there is picnic seating

where people are watching the show from outside on this beautiful major image. Right now, there are currently advertisements for things like, Sherry's Berries, other random advertisements. Smells a lot like scatterleaf on that hill, I'll tell you what. There is an advertisement for scatterleaf key.

They are enjoying, oh, the dumple cart in Pixie Kingdom has its own advertisement. Do you dump? We all dump. Join us at the dumple cart in Pixie Kingdom. I could use some work. You can tell that Dumbleder was probably the one that made it because it's got the worst clip art

and it's all in papyrus font. Oh yeah, classic. Yeah. I don't want to watch the sequel to Avatar. Statching his legs on you. And it is with that that a hush begins to come over the crowd. You realize that you have just a couple of minutes to prepare yourself and get ready for the extravaganza

that is about to happen. I'm going to meditate. Please don't disturb me. I'm wearing a sleeveless studded leather. Tie high. Heel boots that are just outrageously long in the heel portion. And I've got a green glove and a purple glove on that go all the way up to over my biceps. And I'm pressing them down. They have like long cat claws on the tips of the gloves.

I sit cross-legged and I put my long cat claws on my knees and I go to my quiet place. Hey, Gideon, look at these. Oh, man. I'm gonna knock somebody over. Oh yeah, look at what those. Oh, it's coming. It's kind of gravity.

And I'm off like, I'm half. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm on still. I'm actually kind of more of a puppeteer at this point. But you know. Hey, those big tini's as big as you are. Yeah, I know, like each one. Oh, no. You've tripled dramatic.

This is like the reverse of my daydreams, you know? It's kind of a weird situation to be in, but it's foot apart, you know? What we do for art, right? For a sleep. So please describe what it is that you're wearing. What if I want to save it? Okay, you can save it.

Yeah, I will allow you to describe yourself as you walk on stage. Yeah, I think that's better. That's better. And it is, it is at the thing. this time that silence comes over the crowd. And you see as not Mr. Light or Mr. Witch enters onto the stage. You see that they have their very own box at the back of the stage and they are watching

from probably the best vantage point in the entire place as they sit next to each other in excitement. Mr. Witch is slowly tapping his hand on his pocket watch, constantly checking the time. He seems a little bit nervous, but Mr. Light looks ecstatic. The outfit that he's wearing is even more regal and bedazzled and bejeweled than it was before. The smile on his face is overjoyed as he's leaning forward with his hands or his head on his hands and just staring at the stage, looking down at the joy in this place, it is palpable and he has never, at least to you, has never seemed so happy and so ready for anything in his

entire life. As you see a very well-dressed, a halfling man walk onto the stage, he has a top hat and a nice purple velvet vest on a pinstripe, pinstriped pants and some nice leather shoes, and he's waving around a cane as he walks out onto the stage and his voice booms out loudly. Welcome to the night light. It's grand opening here at the Witchlight Carnival. I am going to be your MC. They call me MC Troy. I know it's not a grand name, but it's mine.

Yep, it seems Troy. I made it up on the spot. Because I realized they hadn't given him one. Why to do, Troy? Fuck on. It's a name, Troy. How yeah. Tonight is a night of wonders.

and exploration. Have no expectations. Leave those at the door. Inside, we are here to experience joy of another kind. We have four performers tonight to entertain and delight you. Please provide them with glorious tips

should you enjoy their performances. Remember, always tip the girls. And with that, we will begin. The lights dim completely, and all of a sudden, these glittering spotlights hit the stage where Troy had been, as he moves off to the side, a soft, like, dance house music starts, but we're just going to keep spooky circus music, because I didn't prepare that for this. There's no royalty-free house music that I could find. Well, let's think real quick. It's like with the things that you're going to do, so I'm going to end up to postmanage anyway.

But the lights begin to swirl, and you see, you see, you see goblins and halflings and elves milling about the people handing out drinks and selling all kinds of bubbly alcoholic beverages. And you do see that this place is clearly, because we're in America, 21 plus. And there are no children here.

This is, this is an adult-only club. This is the nightlight and it's inaugural night. Everybody cheers and claps as they wait. And you hear Troy off to the sign. I name him that. You hear Troy, I just couldn't think of anything on the spot. Well, hey! Troy!

My names. Troy. I'm Brett. No, it's not in San America, but I don't want Steve. Our FBI is just a feeling. Benignol. Banonians. as Troy once again allows his,

no, it's not a very, I'm sorry, instead of mattress. Um, Troy lets his voice boom out and he calls to the stage. Welcome to the stage, and he's using a different voice now because I can't. He has used two twists because he thought he was doing badly and he's like cursed now. The stage, silhouette, and we bows, and all of a sudden the lights boom into the middle of the stage. They go off. Lights go off.

Yes, and so, crummy. So you hear, if you know, we can't play it because it's really good, copy structure. But the song, 9 to 5 by the Queen of Country, Dottley Parton starts playing. And it starts with just that piano. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, it's just totally black. And then the verse comes in. And the second of the verse comes in, the lights will shoot on

and Kremi will be there, but I will cast darkness and just shape it as the silhouette of myself. And so it's just a black sort of silhouette almost that can move. That's totally covered. And what does a silhouette look like? And so the silhouette is this curvy gaiter person with

a very large top hat. And you can see, it's hard to tell because of the silhouette, but you can see that there's some kind of skirt and that there's a very large bust on this gator and so then

the light shoot on and then during the verse I'm going to have my cane out and do like a cane pose and during the verse I'm going to sort of shrut is sort of like a T style stage like from RuPaul's dragons Yeah exactly where you have your runway and you walk out and everyone

everyone's spilling around it they're throwing gold, silver, platinum coins at you. So I'm gonna... So during the verse, I'm gonna strut up the main runway, get closer, and strike a pose at the end

right before the chorus cuts in. And then... Working nine to five. I'm gonna drop darkness and cast dancing lights. And they're gonna be sort of will of the wisps swirling around me

and you will see Cremie wearing a large silicone bust that he had for stiletta, but no gore makeup, a large purple striped top hat, a corset, and a tiny little purple mini skirt. He has some leather belts wrapped around each leg, and he has knee-high boots pulled up.

Are they cowboy boots? He's wearing Caitlin's original skin from League of Legends. I know what you were doing. The riders out of it. Just belts fucking everything. Belt on the hat. Just belts on everyone. That was fantasy.

Working 925. And I'm going to do your classic, like, walk to one side of the stage. I have a big blonde, like, platinum blonde wig. That doesn't make any sense for a gator to have under this top hat. And I'm going to be, like, whipping my head around and my hat still somehow stays on. And I will. The verse will cut back in and I'll sort of, you know, do a little dance and I'll kind of do some sort of subtle, you know, cane things. I'll do some kicks.

And then once the next chorus cuts on, it's sort of leading up to this big moment. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-work. And I rip off the corset. And you still see, like, clearly the silicone bus, but they're little purple tassels on the end of, On the end of the silicone bus nipples. Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! No, na na na na na na nae. And then towards the end of the chorus, I'm going to say, you've all heard of a death drop, and I'm going to do a death drop on my back. Well, now get a look at the death roll.

You watch, you watch as Kremi, as Kremi does a death drop, he flings himself back with one leg going behind as he slams himself down. The crowd gasp, but it doesn't stop there. As he rolls and rolls and rolls, the crowd starts cheering. Death roll, death roll.

The crowd is going crazy. And I'm going to death roll off the stage at the back by the time the song ends. That's it. Which, because of your bust sounds like... That's all I got. As you watch as Mr. Witch from the back, though he is not getting into this nearly as much as Mr. Light,

he does seem to be making some tallies as if he is silently judging you. And you imagine that you probably got points for a death drop and roll and reveal. Sleigh Queen, sleigh. You know it. The crowd goes wild. You see a couple of goblins

cleaning up the stage, pulling all of the money that people have thrown onto the stage while you're performing into a pouch for you and it is provided for you. You'll know next session how much you made. All right. And

the music begins to shift as Troy once again takes the stage and calls for... I know. It's like when I named the fucking cat, Chad. I just don't know why I do this. Everybody would write for the next one or what? Oh, yeah. I like, wow.

Here we all get for the next one. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you getting pitted after those? So he makes his way up onto the stage, and he revels in the applause as he calls out, are you ready for more? The crowd cheers and chants and shouts.

And then he says, welcome to the stage, Fee, Phoenix. Because I just can't do that in an accent. I'm sorry. I was getting up. What's going on with this? Troy guy. If you need some musical

accompaniment, mate, I don't know. Yeah, if you understand the beat for the song, I can't recall any music. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Don't. All right. I'd like to also I would also like the lights to be out. The lights start off. Just totally dark. All right, you guys are good. All right, I walk out, and you can't see me yet.

You'd hear me sing out in my voice first before anything happens. Well, love is a burning thing. The first thing you'll see is I'll strike out one of my chains, kind of igniting the tip, and it's actually been covered in this orange boa on one end, it ends in like pink tips. So instead of chains whirling about me, I have boas attached to both sides. And for a moment, the flame ignites

as I scan the crowd quickly and I look for a taxi. And if I see her, I shoot out a quick wink. She is in the very middle of the little pixie balconies. And she screams that balcony, goes absolutely crazy as you notice that all of them are wearing sashes that say property of cake chat. Yeah, that's perfect. I wake at that central section.

Loves a burning thing. And it makes a fiery rain. And I do a spin and create a ring of fire around me on the stage. Bound by wild desire. Well, I fell in to a ring of fire. Will I fell down? Bunk. Bunk.

And I hit you go. And I scan, then quickly, I twirl my legs. opening, yeah, like dancer style. I flourish my legs. I won't do it on camera because Richie says I can't show feet. But I twirl my legs. I show feet in the show. And then the band leader's like,

I fell down. Oh, yeah. And I'm on the ground and I'm flourishing. And I'm twirling my boas above me, striking flames circular almost like a lasso above me

as I kind of just like as sexually as I can possibly manage am flaming on the ground as I've probably broken my knee at this point oh well I fell down down

down down and then it has been it has been I spin my chains. I spin them. I spin them. I extinguish in a flourish and an eruption of flames.

The ring will rise up above me and explode in kind of a, I don't know, like a pink, like flourishing, pyrotechnic blast. As I wrap the chains both around, like around, not like round around my neck, but like, Wrap them so like I have like a almost like a Cruel de Ville boa like like rap and oh Oh, and I was wearing sunglasses. I was going to say what are you wearing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have orange boas attached to my chains ending in pink ends. I have a red sequined dress on sequins.

Sequins. Sequenced. Sequenced. Yeah, sequenced. Sequenced. Not just sequence. It's a sequence dress. What am I saying?

We're saying the same thing. Sequenced? No, there's no D at the end. It's sequenced dress. Right. That's what I'm saying. Just say sequins. Sequenced.

Sequence. You're saying sequenced. You're adding a little t. No. What? Sequenced. Mickey's gaslight now. This is the fucking fairy kingdom all over.

I'm down, you guys. From the bear's dog. I ain't no goddamn fairies here. So I'm wearing a sequenced dress. And it's red. And the ends are igniting kind of like a slight flame situation. The Garfieri style. The Garfieri style.

And I'm wearing sharp pointed heels that I'm just not used to walking around in. So I look like kind of like a mountainous gazelle that's like figuring out how to walk for the first time. I love that. I love that. And I have like pink or almost like rose-colored glasses with dark frames that have kind of like a sharp, kind of like a winged eyeliner kind of frame as they come off and shoot up as I wrap the colorful orange bow around my neck, twirl my hair, and then stomp off the stage. The crowd goes wild. You see Mr. Light clapping in joy as Mr. Witch takes his notes

and looks at you with a quizzical eye. Troy makes his way back to the stage and calls from, please stop laughing at the fact that I named him, Troy. I have regrets. I do. You don't even keep reminding me of my feeling. You're doing fine, Troy.

Come on. All the people watching named Troy, we're so sorry. He's so sorry. That's your name. Chet says I hate Troy, low-chie. Hate and low-key are a little all at odds.

I extremely hate Troy, but like, you know, casually. Casually. I'm not super investing, and I just fucking hate his gods, you know? Fuck. I don't know why I said it.

I love it. MCT. Roy, on the ones and twos. Troy. his way back to the stage. He calls for another round of applause and he talks to the crowd a bit as the goblins are once again gathering all of the coins and

putting them into a satchel for Gideon. And then the music begins to play a little bit softer as Troy says Welcome to the stage. Troina. You will see the lights go out.

in Georgia. And then a spotlight will on. And beneath that, at the back of the stage is a very tall big titty troll. My goblin ears are

tucked. I've talked to my ears. Is that all you've talked? He's just starting from the head now. Thank you. He's going on the head. down. I will have an even larger nose prosthetic, an even larger jaw prosthetic. I will have tons of makeup on, including like highlighting and contouring around all the warts on the prosthetics of my troll face. And my hair is this black hair that is all tied up and in a really elaborate. fancy queen hairdew with a crown around it, a crown. And I am wearing effectively just a complete velvet.

I almost just look like just a silhouette like this of a velvet and white, like a robe that into two white furls down the middle. Oh. And it's really kind of like the guy from Fifth Element. Yeah. Like the announcer with the hair. It's like Chris Tucker. It's like King George from Ruby Rod.

And I just will be, I'll be looking down and I'll be looking down and I'll say, You've heard of a drag queen, now me to troll queen. And I'll be like, control I do not I do not I am Immediately

I dropped the robe And as the music picks up I drop the robe The It falls to the ground I am wearing effectively the same color palette

Of a queen But it basically looks like A spirit It's Halloween A slutty queen Like lip leg avenue. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Stockings, very much a corset in

with just like, and speaking of silicone bust, it is insane. Grigo got the biggest one he could find. And it's almost like he has elongated arms. You're like, you're not sure if it's magic or Perko's doing some genentine tear puffeting inside

basically a big kitty troll back out. Oh, boomed ahead. Is that the part of your form? And a long, what do you call those? We're like the sleeves, but it's not actually a sleeve. It's around your arm. Gloves?

No, no, but like, it's, yeah, but it's not a glove, though, but it's basically like a big, flowy sleeve, but it just... Oh, it's just, it's still a sleeve. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a detached sleeve. Okay. Yeah, and that and then really tall, crazy, like, spiky, Dombutes, I think, would probably be the vibe.

And then he'd continue. I don't know how our fiefdom got so bad. I don't know why we've ailing poverty. It probably was that horse tax policy. Please, full troll lady, will you be my... I will fling me? I will fling. my arms off, which I've been covering my hands.

You fling your arms off? I will fling my arms and both of the sleeves will fly out and it will reveal the most insane gaudy blue painted nails, each one of them in a spiral pattern with a snail motif and the number two on each of them. The crowd goes wild. As the gloves, as the sleeves fly off, you see. you see a group of people like punching each other in the face and beating each other,

trying to get this trolina merch. They want to have this piece of you and eventually two people emerge victorious, each one of them waving the sleeve in the air and cheering and chanting. If the mood could go higher at this carnival, it would. But then we have a lot of cleanup to do. And then the music

kind of goes into the bridge I think that's the part of the bridge King Smebulop will win this arms race Atop the greatest snail number two I swear on Prince Gorbo I must enroll If I could sign Holy King of this I swear.

And then Grickle will reach up and pull off the crown and throw it into the crowd. And with that all of the hair will just come undone and a complete, insane, flowing, perfect mane of hair. And you do throw the crown. It spins through the air. And with a quick flick of his hand, Mr. Light catches it and places it on top of his head. The crowd cheers, and he winks out at you and casts a kaleidoscope of light from the witchlight vein all around you.

If I could have a trouble, I could save it. And it continues like that. And then with that, I will lean forward. And rather than crummy falling back, I will bounce on my silicone breastforms, the troll, and then balance forward on my nose and then leap back around

and hopefully stick the landing. You do stick the landing because I'm convinced. So you stick the landing. And as your breast jiggle, the silicone finally comes down, your money is being thrown on top of you. The crowd is going crazy. Man's up from his chair and gives you a standing ovation. And to your surprise, you see a smile, Grace, Mr.

witch's face as he josts down a few notes. It seems like as the night progresses, this drag show is really impressing the owners of this carnival. They're not heckling us. They are not heckling you. Silhouette, more like, is it over again? Troy takes the stage once again. Is everyone having a good time at the grand opening of the nightlight and the cheers? Yeah, you're doing fine, Troy. son. Shut up to them.

C. Shut up. Oh, Troy. I always knew you'd go into Dragon House and really just want to play ball.

No, son. Okay. This is dad. And he he says out to the crowd with just one more act to go.

Can our next drag queen truly bring in the witchlight monarch? with a flourish, only time will tell. Welcome to the stage, Twinkerville! And everybody starts clapping and cheering.

As all these other performances have been happening, I've been meditating. And this is usually a time of inner contemplation, a time to go inside of oneself. But with everything that I've experienced in the carnival so far, I do the closest thing that Frost would do to pray, because he feels that the pressure and the stakes are so high.

Say magic, I don't know if I'm speaking to anything at all or what your laws are or if you're just chaos, but please, you've caused me to believe and feel so many things. Give me the energy that I need in order to achieve this performance. I have but a notion, but I need you to fill me with your joy and I will turn and I will push open a doorway

as I have been making this prayer and in the moment that the crowd cheers and this announcement is finally invaded by Troy Gavin's son Troy, son of Gavin the lights do not go all the way off oh nice the lights

the house lights come on It seems mundane. It seems mundane. The curtain that would be the back of the stage pulls back. What would be a set piece and just a stage reveals the backstage where you can see ladders and it looks almost industrial like a warehouse. And a small door as far back from the front of the stage as possible, you see Twinkerbell enter.

Gloves. It's almost completely silent. Stutted leather. You can hear the clack of her healed boots as it hits the floor. You begin to see, you begin to see goblins dressed in a similar fashion, filing out from the back in sync, following and mimicking every single move that Twinkerbell makes, as there are now 20 people behind Twinkerville. The baseline kicks in.

Doom do do do do do do do And do you hear from Twinkerville You're gonna fuck me up Claws, fur, robe, heels, tail, long, beard, reel Pack full, yarn balls, bitch, I'm a big deal. Legs, legs, fucking legs, look at my fucking legs. You me, who you wish, Sending Stone, who dis? Pussy, puss, I'm a cat, cat, cat, cat, cat.

Mama, yes, gods when you pop that tongue, bitch. This whole place is my runway, run bit. Y'all 5, 4, 3, 2, 1s, I'm a 1. Y'all 5, 4, 4, wow, I can't do it. Y'all 5, 4, 3, 2s, I'm a 1 bitch. Girl, what did that girl just think, girl? Girl, I don't arcane, I sigh. I don't play, I slay.

I don't walk, I float, float, and fly away. Okay, but I don't work for free. No, that's not, that won't work for me. So make it rain on me, and I might let you see. What's you gonna let them see? My claws. fur, robe, heels, claws, fur, robe, heels, claws, fur, robe heels, claws, fur, robe heels, claws, fur, robe heels, claws, fur, robe heels, claws, fur, robe heels, claws, fur, robe heels, okay, Faye, you all know what time it is.

Come on, every fairy on the floor, every fairy on the floor, I don't want to see you dance, I want to see your mind. Come on, send for me, send for me, send, send, send for me, send, send for me, send for me, send. Send for me, send for me, send, send for me, send, send for me, robe for me, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe for me, robe, robe, robe, robe, robe, for me, um, for me, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, now I've mine for me, mine for me, mine, mine, mine for me, mine, mine for me, mine, mine, mine for me, mine, mine, mine for me, mine, mine, that's all. Darkness slowly comes to the stage. All of the synchronized dancers behind Frost had frozen in a pose, just draped all around him as he struck his final pose,

and the lights went out. It was one minutes. It feels like minutes drag on as there's complete silence in this place. Frost, you're feeling terrified as you breathe heavily on the stage, and then you hear it from the very back of the stage. stage. As Mr. Light begins to clap, everybody starts to

scream and yell, Twink, pelted with platinum after platinum after platinum. They are making it rain on you as the lights begin to come back up just towards the back of the club.

And you see that both Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are standing and clapping in a round of applause, a standing ovation, from the owners of this carnival. And that is where we'll end the session today. So I imagine, despite Mr. Light's like happy makeup, he looks like Citizen Kane. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventry's podcast.

We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Hire to unlock Shroud Over Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seats. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventris. If you want to chat about the episode with the avatrous community, join us on Discord at Legendsofaventris.com slash Discord.

We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at Legendsofaventures.com slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5E supplement published by us. Get your own copy at the crookin moon.com. Thanks again, and we'll see. See you next time.