Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 15 | Four Weddings and a Funeral

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

The pixie weddings don't go as planned...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/tvSZbJLdy0Q?si=qxR7IcJl1U9c0iwV

What a do? Welcome to Legends of Aventress. My name is Cremely Crew and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. We haven't done the bubble pop teapots for example. We've got we've got things. Two weddings. You have to marry that pixie twice? Oh no no no no no Cremi yeah sort of coerced and then you know getting engaged. Getting getting hit. But she does have her eyes on frost. Stixie? Yeah, Unfortunately, Mr. Light kind of put some

claim on you, so I think we're backing off. Oh, really? Well, that's very kind of. I can't imagine. Are you all right? God, thank God I have my shoes on. A 20-foot-tall teapot rests on a wooden platform.

It's painted surface whirling with moving imagery of flying dragons breathing steams of bubbles. You are great to meet. Now move your feet. Get into the. bubble but don't get in trouble. Okay, just do what he says.

Right away. As you can see, we are getting very, very close to the crowning of the Witchlight Monarch. This is the maiden voyage of Mr. Light's House of Drag and the four of you are the stars. The name on the front of this place changes and it's now known as Night Light. The starfish, Chalabin, Stalbis, Chalabee. The crowd goes wild. If I could for God! A control

If I could sigh Claws fur, robe heels, claws for robe heels. Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are standing and clapping in a round applause, a standing ovation from the owners of this

carnival. And that is we will win the session. Last time on Once Upon a Witch Light, Gideon, woke up from his coma. Mm-hmm. And you found yourselves

in yet another marriage proposal. There are now three of you that are engaged to be wed through some cunning trickery. Kremi convinced two of the pixies, the ones that are betrothed to

Kremi and the one that is betrothed to Grico to sign a contract that got smaller and smaller and smaller in font size towards the very bottom. So they did sign it? They did sign it. It is unknown

as to whether they understood the full extent of what they were signing. And as the dungeon master, I don't even know the full extent of what they're signing. So we'll find out later. Still legally bust. Still legally binding. That's right. Sime and blood.

Afterwards, they made their way towards the bubble pot teapot. they enjoyed the sightseeing of flying around in the bubbles, which directed them towards the big top, where outside of it, a new nightclub had been formed called Nightlight.

And it is here that they donned their drag outfits and performed for the 21 plus crowd at the Witchlight Carnival, which did include Mr. Witch and Mr. Light. The performances were spectacular, and the crowd, went wild at the entertainment that was provided for them this evening. And it was with Frost's final swift movement that a hush falls over the crowd as everyone realizes

the show has come to an end. And silence fills up this space before Mr. Light begins to clap slowly at first and then louder and louder as he rises to his feet, the entire crowd rises to their feet as well and begins to throw panties and money and flowers up onto the stage. I mean, it's a drag show, come on, it's gonna happen. It's the flower.

What did you think I was sitting? You guys are all sitting in the head. It was the flower. You get spills from panties from back here. You gotta. Well, if we haven't all been there, no, it's true. Oh, God.

That's when Twitch pulls. Can we trigger up? Can we turn your acclaim? Yes. Nice. Yes. And it is here that you are standing on the stage as these accolades are being washed over you.

The three of you are standing in the wings of the stage as the pixie that had been helping you rushes over and directs you to make your way onto the stage and take a bow as a unit. And you are all three of you ushered out next to Frost. As you're standing there, you all take your bows, the crowd cheers and shouts for you for the drag extravaganza that was this final night of the Witchlight Carnival. And this goes on for about five minutes. As you see Mr. Light stand up and he looks out towards you and gives Frost a quick wink before you see him descend from the balcony into who knows where, the crowd begins to make their way towards the back of this newfound club that has been made here.

And they all begin to exit and spill out into the carnival proper. You are directed to wait and to spend time. I'm on the stage until you can be met by Mr. Witch and Mr. Like themselves. Can we get changed first? You mind. I mean, I got my pasties on. Yeah, no, I'm sorry, but Mr. Witch and Mr. Light specifically ask that you remain dressed as you are. Oh. Oh, even Mr. Witch? Oh, we don't think he cares one way or another, but Mr. Light gets what Mr. Lake are. Okay, I was going to say, I would expect it from Mr. Light, but is Mr. Witch also the sex past?

You should have picked a more comfortable outfit? Second question, has anyone seen my corset so I could at least cover up a little bit? I threw it off into the crowd. I just... Yeah, I think it's over there off the side of the stage. I look over, is it there? Yeah. This was surprisingly easy. I think it was torn apart by Redcaps.

You think somebody would have kept that the way you threw it in there. Your performance. It's like a collector's item. Yeah, you'd think. Oh. So who do you think did the best out of all of us? Let's be honest. I feel like I did okay. There was a bit of silence after her.

I wonder if perhaps Mr. Leight convinced everyone to cheer, but I think I hit the beat, and I kept up with the lyrics. I tried to be as craftful as possible. Well, I got to admit that, you know, doing actual life, singing is a lot more impressive than just lip-saint. Yeah, now you're automatically. disqualified. I mean, no one was going to say it. Look, but I'm saying is

that what I did is a little more traditional. It's more what you'd expect. Oh, look at Mr. Oh, the more traditional gumbo is to do this. Oh, it's a lot more similar, but it's traditional. I feel like we're talking about a crush of you, Grammy. Do you think that I can take my gloves

off, or should I leave them on? They're a little sweaty inside. I think they want us exactly exactly as we are. No. Yeah, we'll leave all the outfit of as I'm like operating the fucking big titty troll macker walking around.

You're a McWarrier 3 of it. If I took my glove off, it would have to be the whole arm, I think. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'll try to pick something a little bit smaller than a troll, I'll think. What do you think? I think from what I could hear, it sounded like you were well-received. I was mostly trying to meditate and get myself into,

Are you sure I didn't screw it up? I was so worried in the big top. No, you did great for all Steve. I did. We couldn't even tell, so I mean, fall, we know. I mean, Ardenixen. I don't know.

I love that thing you did with the numbers. Five, four, three, two. I'm a one. Yo. I'm no one. That felt good. I nearly got down. I mean, counting backwards from five,

I would have been like, whoa. Yeah. I mean, free, okay. Well, you're pushing it, but all the way from far. Counting is my specialty. It's quite nice. And this conversation happens for about 10 minutes before you see the pixie that had been helping you dart off into the audience area. And she seems to be concerned with something as you hear her talking over her rocky talkie.

Yeah, no, I understand. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Sure, I'll do what I can. You're sending her over right now? Okay. Yeah, no, I'll keep them here. it's fine. Yep, no, I got it. All right. Well, you have a... Okay. And she puts it away,

clearly hung up on. As she flutters around towards the back of the, um, of the audience area, and you, um, you eventually hear the sounds of two people talking. Um, their voices are muffled. And, uh, eventually you see a shape emerge as, um, as someone begins to walk towards you. It's clearly not the size of a pixie. And in the, in the darkness here, the spotlights are still directed on you as you stand on the stage. It's hard to tell who this person is, a goblin, twerp, gnome.

And as they come into view, you see a very small gnome woman. She's wearing what looks to be the outfit of someone who works at the orchard. and she her hair is these bright red ringlet she has piercing green eyes rosy cheeks covered in freckles she's wearing a straw hat with a rim of pumpkins on them and she begins to walk up the stairs towards you she looks kind of shy and nervous hi hello there my name's mabel and i was sent here to escort you to your weddings mr witch and mr

Mr. Light unfortunately couldn't come to meet you, and I was tasked with, and you see as she pulls this gigantic sack off of her shoulders, with giving you something special from them, and if I don't do it right, I'm afraid that, oh God, you'd be careful sneezing around these things. These are really special. They're straight from the Faywild.

They throw all these flowers out here, and I'm a little allergic. Oh, there's nothing I can do about that. I'm Mabel, by the way. I don't know if I said that already. My name is Morning Frost. It's a pleasure to meet you. Let me get you your present first, all right? Are you ready for this?

I wasn't expecting a present. I have all these panties. Yeah, Mr. Witch and Mr. Lott were really impressed with what you did. The entire carnival is incredibly happy. You know, happy parents make for happy kids. Happy parents get their kids lots of special things with money they wouldn't normally spend when they're both drunk and happy. Impose purchases. Yeah, for sure. They're just talking about. Oh, so we're driving up the profit margins and the revenue of the car. I mean, most of the things are free here, but yeah, for the few things that are. for sale? You're definitely doing that.

Oh, lots of t-shirts. Like, tickets, maybe? I mean, is that the only thing we paid for, T-shirts and tickets? Oh, a little souvenir. Sivineer Shops was... No, we had to win them. We don't have the tickets we got for free anyway. If I do this, if I do this right, I'm going to get a promotion

and I'll finally get out of the orchard, and I can work in the big top. Well, do it right. Okay, I do. No question or anything. Don't you know you're talking to Tweeka? well right now. And I was also Trollette

and Fee-Fee-Finix. What you, Trollina? Oh, I mean Trollina. Okay, he keeps on these trolls, right. Oh, Tolllet. But yeah, so apparently y'all did a really nice job with your performance, and Mr. Latt was really happy, and he was, oh my gosh, he came to see me specifically.

I'm not quite sure me. I wonder if I was the only one there cleaning at the time, but no, he probably, He came specifically for me. But he asked me if I'd deliver these to you, and he said it's really, really important that nothing happens to him because these came straight from the Fay Wild.

How come he went all the way to the orchard instead of just walking like five feet forward to us? Something happened. I don't know what it was, but I wasn't going to ask questions. He seemed really nervous. Yeah, he probably got lost. You happen to know any details about what happened?

No. Maybe where they might be within the next hour or two? Well, I know that they were setting up the weddings over there at the orchard. Because Taxi said she'd always wanted an all time in a wedding. That would be very picturesque. And you know, good luck getting Taxi to do anything the other girls want to do, because she's not going to do it. Taxi does what Taxi wants. You got your hands fool, Mr. Gideon. I'm telling you. Taxi does everything the other girls do. What are you talking about? Anyone knows? I don't know what you're talking about. All I'm saying is that Taxi

taxi likes what taxi likes and she's not going to give up on her dreams. She's not. She's said she wanted a ton of wedding, so the rest of them have to deal with it. Oh my gosh, I'm talking your ears off. I'm so sorry. Let me go ahead and give you these. All right, we're going to start with you, Frost. Five, four, two, one. I'm no. Why are you crying? He's crying because he cries at weddings and it's going to be three times the team. He's holified of commitment. Okay. I love unicorns and my name's Kremlin,

if it's important. All right. These will have a flower. Yeah, I was just gonna do it. Is there any water around here? Do I just use the- Oh, I got this watering can on my hip? Oh, can I borrow that?

Yeah, sure. Oh, nice, thank you. It's really small in your giant hand. It's like the Spittoon from the room. It is definitely a gnome-sized watering can. It looks gigantic in your hand, but there's enough water to water. The North Chamberpot, you know,

there's sunny. My name was known, why'd you give me this? All right. These little spectacles are for you. Oh. And I have, let me look here. Okay, I have Frost. The Kilmullis Spectacles.

They're a wondrous item. They're rare. As of most encounters with the Kilmullis, they bring things both helpful and harmful. In the case of the spectacles, they can be considered to be harmful to other fay. These wooden frame glasses help the wear find lost objects.

They allow a person to roll. with advantage on wisdom perception checks may define something hidden. A side effect of this is that the wearer can also see invisible fake creatures. This is very generous. This is going to be able to really aid our quest. I could hardly think of something better

than this gift. This is unreal. Quick, look around. You see any, we of pig creatures? Pink? Pig? Pig? Yeah. Or or cutesy? You see cutesy anyway? Yeah, like a cute nocturnal bird. Yeah, likes fish, maybe fish bow ties.

Yeah, well, I'm ferocious, you know. What are you talking about? I do a full throat. Right, 60 very quickly, just to get a sense of if I'm, if the magic is giving me any information through these spectacles I wouldn't otherwise get. You look around and you see, you feel like your ability to perceive things is definitely heightened while you're wearing them. You notice things you wouldn't have noticed before. almost as if they stand out

preacher naturally. However, thank you. However. That's the same one. God didn't begin to spell that. That's out of character. That's out of character. You know, I think Uncle Glovo was a preacher naturally.

I don't know the meaning of that. However, you don't see any invisible fake things. It looks like any that would have been there definitely would have. This is extremely valuable and very generous. Thank you, Mabel. Oh, you're welcome. All right, okay, I can check that one off the list, got that one. All right, perfect. Now, next thing I've got is for Gideon here. Ah, five, four, three, two.

And you get... And you get... And you get for Lauren's remorse. Oh, who's Lauren? For Lauren. For Lauren? For Lauren? Laren?

For Laren? What she's upset about? What? Why is she, well, who's Laren and why is she upset? Why do I get it? No, it's a dagger. Oh, was it Lairn?

Oh. It's that next morning to Rett, you know? Oh, yeah. I thought Laren was from that town, like, what was it called, like, oh, stinky Pete's mud hole? Remember that town that Yona? You want these gifts or not?

Yeah, what's a stinky peat's? Mudholes? Yeah, it was like, it was, you call that a town? I mean, it was like a building. Yeah, no, it was. It was more of like a roadway motel with attractions. Yeah, I think he called it.

Yeah, oh yeah, it was more of a resort. I really think it's got to have four walls to be considered a building. That's true. Not sure you can call it that. Nope and bond me. Wasn't that gal named Lauren or Lerrimi or something? I don't remember the name, but I'll never forget the smell. I feel that if you say that smells are connected,

yeah. Did you say that sense are more connected to memory than songs? Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna be safe. Okay. I'll take that. All right.

So you're taking, well, you're getting it because I was told you were getting it. And I got it. I'm gonna have you sign off, saying that these were delivered to you. I'd be happy to do that. If I were to manage my inventory and look up this magical item. How would I spell Kululis? It's Kill Mullis. It's K-I-L-L-M-O-U-L-I-S. You're not gonna find it though. Oh. I thought we bought the module. This ain't from the module.

Quite wondrous. Well, thank you. You're welcome. So you're getting the for Laren's remorse. It is a dagger. Like I said, it's very rare. A plain looking dagger. For Laren's remorse holds a dark history. The for Laren are creatures caught between good evil and this dagger reflects their curse. When the user gets a natural 20, the dagger burns causing 1D12 fire damage in addition to the Crip. Anytime you get the kill and blow, for one hour you are under the effect of a bless spell. Oh geez, oh, who's coming around on Larry. This whole time of you know if we ever need like a stealthy kill, you You need to sort of sneak up and do one of these. Now you got a little front cutting knife. Oh, you want me to use a dagger?

I mean, daggers are for, you know, like small people. I don't want to use a dagger. I was gonna melt it down. Working into the links of the chains. The value is clearly the one hour of bless that you would benefit from. All we need to do is find like 20 mice that you can kill with a dagger

and you'll probably get a natural 20 at some point. Why is that? Oh, the old bag of large. Oh, no. The blest is if you can kill. gets the kill and blow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm a mouse.

I'm going to have 20 buses. I'm going to have a bus. I'm going to be the rat king. I'm going to have so many rats. You don't have to critters if I just kill all the rats. That's actually quite interesting because we'll move on to Grico's item. Oh, me next, me next. Um, Gricho, you get, you get the mouse harness.

It's a wondrous item. It is rare. This tiny harness could easily fit upon a common field mouse. If harness, the mouse grows to a large size and gains the statistics of a fully trained riding horse. complete with full-size riding gear. This effect lasts for eight hours, after which the mouse shrinks back down to its normal size. I will be faster than a rolling piece of cheese.

That's pretty fast. Oh, I know. You say fester or faster? I'm not fester. You're a fester like cheese. Like cheese. I will be faster and also fester-locked cheese. I'm just like fester in like a plate-rattie boils.

Oh, like my favorite Adams, Fester Adams. Fester Adams. Is that your favorite Adams? Yeah. Nice. What? Why does so many Adams? It's only second to Apple.

Their family is not grind out. I don't have to tell you. John Adams? No. No. Thank you for this little, little honest. Oh, you're welcome. All right, and Crimmie, you're going to go ahead and get the Greg fiddle.

It's a wondrous item. It's uncommon. This tiny fiddle is made of unusual materials more akin to an insect's carapace than a wood. The fiddle strings buzz and hum at the slightest touch reminiscent of a cricket. This is a pleasant tune that allows charisma performance roles made with advantage. There's also a special tune that is softer to the ear and cannot be heard consciously. If this special tune is played one turn prior to a charisma persuasion check, it may be rolled with advantage. If this tune is played one turn after a creature has cast one of the following spells,

the duration is double. Animal friendship, calm emotions, calm person, dominate person, friends, hypnotic pattern, mass suggestion, and suggestion. This special tune can only be used once and requires a short rest

before it can be used again. Oh, well, thank you. You're welcome. My grandpapa used to play a fiddle. Well, hopefully you can't. Channel his dead ghost. See if I can learn anything to. Oh, I can talk to spirits.

I've never talked to a dead crocodile, man. Alligator man will have to weird because, I mean, that's totally irrelevant to me. Alligator man. He's a lizard folk. I'm an alligator fella. His grandpa, is this a human. It's completely irrelevant.

Really? Hey, you never told me that. No, he was an alligator to, but it wasn't a crocodile. What's the difference? Like, how different would it be? They're just different animals. What's the difference between a bear and a raccoon? It's caught a bit of difference.

Okay, can I have you each sign off that you got your gifts? Oh, yes. And she passes around her. Oh, you'll get five stars, five stars, five stars, five stars. Gratuity included. Fistaws. I don't know what you're talking about.

Gratuity included. Yeah, there's one more thing. Yeah, there's this, and she holds up a wand that is very clearly a dark you would. and it's twisted and gnarled and very, very old, and wrapped around, the wood curves around a glittering opalescent gem at the very tip of it. That when you look inside of it,

you can see the fluttering of what appears to be a large swarm of butterflies, maws, and dragonflies as they dance around on the inside. And she hands it to you, Frost. Now, this one is really special. I'm not sure where Mr. Light even got this, but it's definitely of the Fay Wilde itself. To use it, it is going to require attunement by all four of you over the course of 24 hours. It is called Wanda the Pact Breaker. It is the only thing I've ever seen that's able to break a Faye Pact.

It has three charges and cannot be recharged. Once the final charge has been used, the wand will cease to exist. That's very interesting. Why don't you let me hold on to that? Mr. Light said that you might be going somewhere where you're going to need that. It doesn't have any other properties aside from the ability to break a PAPAC. I mean, I understand that's quite powerful and valuable. Bay Pacts are unbreakable.

To be able to break one without making a new one is unheard of, and I'm not sure how he got a hold of that. The fact that he's letting you have that means that you've done. something very special. You should really just hand that over to me, Frost. It doesn't have any command word or anything like that? We just have to attune to it and we'll be able to... We all have to attune to it.

You all have to attend to it. It just needs to be in your part... And I'll use it. It just needs to be with you for 24 hours and then you'll be able to use it. He said to tell you to use it very sparingly and not to go too wild with it. What is it made out of? I'm not quite sure. I've never seen...

I think it's you, but I've never seen. Oh my God, it's made out of God. It's me out of me? Oh, God. No, the U-Tree, you were. I would what? Why would he give that to us? U-Tree.

Wait, me tree? He's not a tree. No, the U-Tree. You were not a tree either. Three of us? It's made a three of us? You want. You want.

Y'all are idiots. I want you what? I mean, I want a lot of things. No, not you want. You want. you want. Guys, I think the fair one is melting, my bread.

I'm just playing along because it's funny. I would want. I think they're threatening you. Made of goblins? Look, what letter is this? Can you read? It kind looks like a tree. Is that?

We've done this before. Is this? Is this Kelvin or metric? We've done this. That's the four, Grico. You know, the... You're feeling alright? The Y looks like, yay. Oh, it's a Y. Thanks, first, too.

All right, okay. What is that? That one looks more like a perellogram. It looks more like a room. It looks like it's a non-Euclidean horrors beyond comprehension. Damn, I didn't fuck bad. How about that?

Non-Euclidean horrors. It looks like... Oh, that's an X. It looks like two Fs are having a baby. Oh, it's a little horse upside down. And what does the horse say? E!

Oh! All right. What letters this? Oh. There's two V's connected as the sentence. They're holding hands. But what happens when they're two V's at their meat cute? What happens when they're two Vs, Gricko?

Come on. Oh. And they're attached? When two V's love each other very much, it's Woo-W-W-W-W-W-H-W-H Thank you, yes. Exactly, exactly. All right, so how do you,

how would you pronounce this word? Yay! Again, one syllable this time. Just write it very, very fast. Just attack it. You remember it. You. Oh.

My lips can really be Realistic. Bozy. Oh, it works. You got it. So it's not Y-O-U-U as in you, it's you as in you. As in a trade. It's got nothing to do with you, Grick.

Oh, my goodness. Everything involves around you, you understand? Oh, thank goodness. It just sounds the same. It's called a hominem. Okay. It makes you feeling it better. I also thought it was goblins.

See? Why's everyone giving me all the group of going to pay? It's been a pleasure. Thank you. Are we intended to be here for much longer, or should we... Oh, no. Now that you got what you needed, you just have to make your way over to the orchard for the wedding because it's starting in like 30 minutes. Oh, we have 30 minutes to get to the wedding. Very exciting.

All right. Let's go, fellas. Give me that fucking warm, frost. Let me... I'll give you this one if you can tell me that you're not going to use it to break any kind of fay pact you've made here at this carnival. That brings up a good question. This pack, more than the pack breaking, does it have, does the pact have to be a fay in nature? You thinking what I'm thinking?

I don't know what you're thinking. It just breaks a pact. Ooh. Thank you. That being said, it's not active for 24 hours. Rats. Certainly we'll need to attune to it. But even after that 24 hours,

Cremie, there are going to be better applications than what I think you're thinking. I don't think there are better applications. And I will say that there's a difference between a pact and a debt. Oh. Are you all thinking what I'm thinking? That's not what I'm thinking. What are you thinking?

Well, that's what I was thinking. I think Gideon and I was thinking the same thing. Oh, your thoughts are clouding my mind. You're going to be very loud right now. I'm going to hold on to this. And I put it in my pack. I'll think we're thinking the same thing. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, how did they get maple syrup out of trees as in make any sense? Oh, no. Sorry, I thought we were thinking about breaking the debt thing. I didn't think the syrup thing. Oh, no, I was just thinking about flap decks. The debt thing isn't a pact. Well, it's kind of a pact. Not really.

I mean, that's just a dead old. Let's walk and talk. Yeah, but it's walking talk. We get. What are? We are. I can't let my patrol see me in the big-titty trollmaker. And this will look as like,

it's a goblin! And it'll look at 70s mustache. Yeah, no, of course. You're welcome to change out of your outfits in the dressing room behind. Oh, I would love to get back in my robe. We have, are you wearing anything different than your normal outfit for the wedding?

Are we supposed to? Should we wear more formal? Should we wear something nice? Oh, yeah. No, don't get too famous. There are our tuxedos and dress attire in the dressing room board. Do we have valets to dress us?

What? No. But never mind, I thought I'd give it a shirt. You can dress yourself, can't you? I mean, I know you can't read or spell, but... Come on, gentlemen, let's go check out Mr. Light's drawers, and we'll get an outfit together. You mom always dressed me until I went to the Dublin College. We'd go back to the dressing room and we put on clothes.

And you notice that there are, there are outfits there for each of you. There are, um, there are tuxedos. that are black pinstriped tuxedos. Because why not? And each of them seems to be color-coded. Frost, yours is, whatever color is your favorite. A dark forest green. Perfect, a dark forest green.

You have a beautiful green tie and you have special cufflinks. You have, instead of flowers, you have like bits of ivy with baby's breath. I'm not allergic to that. That's very thoughtful. Thank you, Mr. Lane. Grico. Oh, I would like mine to be the grayish leopard print that I normally wear, but the whole suit. I'm also picturing...

Like black and white leopard print. It's a black pinstripe suit, but you have a bow tie that is a gray leopard print. Busty probably loves leopard print. Can his pants flare out, a little 70s style at the bottom? Yeah, they're slightly, they're slightly bell-bottomed. And I'm not wearing shoes, still. I refuse. That's, sure.

You'll hurt me toes. So as you walk, your normal toes, just stick out running your car bottoms. You got it good decalices, you know? I'm not one at you. Very anime USA. Oh, yeah. That's a deep cut, right there. Look at that joke.

Oh, Joe. Oh, Joe. Oh. Ah. Wow. Your flower is the petunia. Oh. Just because.

Comey's mother's name is petunia. No, it wasn't. I used that line before, though. That's right. I can't. I just can't lie right now. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

Normally I wouldn't. No way I wouldn't. Fucking I wouldn't. You're going to be glad, aren't you, when you were able to, uh, deceive people once again, Cremie. I think I will. I think I will. I make a mental note where he put the wand on this person.

Okay. I'm a very clear visual mental thing. I would say roll an intelligence check to see how well you do at remembering. It's not a contest. It's not a contest. It's just looking at you. Pretty good. I mean, you're pretty good of remembrance.

It's probably like you. And you have your suit as well and your color is purple, I guess. Do I have my regular clothes? Yeah, they're there. I pull up what I'm wearing and I pull up this tuxedo. Find the difference between these two outfits. They're actually exactly the same. That, there's a dip in the lapel there.

They're sewn slightly differently. They have the same outfit and I throw the new one in the trash. Can I buy a knife? Yeah, my new fire knife. Yeah, check it out. Let me know how the balance is. I cut myself out of the silicon bust and I'll discard it and I'll get dressed

in my regular artificial attire. You do. And Gideon, yours is there as well and you, oh, you have a black dahlia as your flower. Oh, wow. Oh, well, hold on, let me just cover that. That was pretty cool. And you put your suit on and,

and your color is red. It's actually like an umbrae where it goes from white through yellow into orange to red, kind of like a flame for your tie and all of your accents. And then your flower is a fire blossom.

Oh. Oh, and he is the photographer for the getting ready photos. Hey, you're here to take your photo. Oh. Oh, look at it. Okay. Oh, look.

Oh, look. Oh, we'll help in each other, dude. Can you come? Can you go to the west? How many times you have to keep redoing my time? Hi, my name's Neil. Oh, hi, Neil. It's the pleasure.

Oh, wait, is it that me? Oh, is it just another Neil? No, no. No, Neil, hello. Is that, is that Neil? Huh? Oh. Did you go to a community colony?

Community College with a goblin roommate who tormented you for four years? It was only two years. No, I'm a dwarf. Oh. You told me what it took... Okay. Did she get fucking down? I mean, have you seen a goblin walk out and has swarled with a bunch of regions?

He's kind of looking like a duol. I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to say it. His name is spelled G-G-N-E-A-L over than U-Mor. Like something where I thought, It's an ass! Oh! And, you know,

continues to take your photos, which are really just caricature drawings, like the kind you would get at, like, a street fair. Your heads are really large. You have a really large too. Oh, look, we're all taking sips out of a flash together because we're a bunch of guy friends. And I'll pretend to laugh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And it takes about 15 minutes for you to get ready, and Neil leaves to continue being the wedding photographer, the actual wedding, and you find yourselves on the streets of the carnival as you begin to make your way through the throngs of people towards the orchard. Well, do you feel ready to a lifetime of commitment?

No. I have an ace up my sleeve like I usually do. That's terrific. We're not playing poker. This is all for the debt. imagine the calmer seas that will come after this experience when we've gotten back to the old man I can remember his name

Mr. Rosloff. Madrick. Oh, yeah, Mr. Rosloff. When we get back to Madrick and we can claim as an inheritance, it'll be all right. Well, if they sign those pre-nops, I think we'll be fine.

What did it say? Oh, yeah. What'd you write up? You didn't tell us. A whole lot of language, but the high level is You know, I'm going to keep it a surprise. But at the end of the day, they're going to think it's benefiting them because they're going to be safe from a horrible crippling debt.

But once we become gazillionaire, billionaire venturers with, you know, Roslav's entire hoard of treasure, they don't get an ounce of it. But will you still be married? Wait. You know, that's not really relevant. Wait! You had the opportunity to trick someone into signing something

and learning their commitment. You just protected on future wealth? Well, we don't even know if, you don't even know if they're gonna sign the day. What? I think they already signed them. Do you write what they signed them? In Canada, we don't know that they signed them. Do you write what up for me or no?

No, you were still in the hospital. And you didn't have the foresight to write one up for me knowing that I'd get, you know, engaged to whatever Pixie blinked her eyes at me? You know, I figured that we had about an hour and a half to the carnival. I thought there's not a chance in hell kid's gonna get betrothed

in 90 minutes. Well, I should have had before thought. I'm sorry about it. You didn't see you in a nurse's outfit, okay? I thought that you were like having, oh, I've got some crazy voodoo trick that we'll shave a hide that you just literally wrote a pre-nup. Who else but Grammy?

I feel a little jealous, to be honest. You guys are all sharing this experience together and I don't have time to, I mean, I can't just run over to the... to Booksey? Silver Song Lake

or the gondola swans and are you trying to get married to a giant talking swam right now?

I relute. I enjoyed her mind. Oh, gosh. She was a very crafty, intelligent, clever. You'd have to live

in a boat house for the rest of your life, understand? I was just on the water. She'd be the house. Wait, does she not have flippers?

The, Propelow, is he literally a boat? I don't know. She's literally a boat. Oh. See, she's a two and one for deal. You get to be a homeowner? I guess boats are pretty expensive, so you'd save a little bit of money.

No, you know what they say? And they retain the value, I guess. It'll be like the old, uh, a dog a. The what? The adagy. Old adage. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The happy, the two happiest moments of a boat owner's loss.

is the day that he bars it and the day that he sells it. That's... I don't think that's a very nice thing to say about... Can't remember her name. I have it here. What was it?

Featherina. Featherina. Featherine. Farras would get a right. The fucking name. Oh, man. Frost would get it right. Derek doesn't get it right.

It's been months. We've been at this carnival for 15 months. It feels fun. Well, I'm just saying. We read this carnival for four episodes. It'll be the, you know, as on the happiest days when you get married

and when you divorce. Well, I don't think that that exists for the Fay. I mean, it's like a pact, right? Do you mean there's no divorce or a moment in the Fay Wales? Perhaps there are multiple marriages, but I imagine that in about 15 to 10 minutes, you're going to get hitched forever, Rickel. Yeah, but maybe it's just kind of like,

like, you know, who knows how it works? Maybe you just gotta kind of get a happiness hearts to like five, and then you got a friend forever that always show up in battle for you. And, you know, you can like summon as a cool tack. You know, like with the cool whistle or something? Yeah, yeah.

That still sounds awful. Well, I tried. And it is about this time that you make your way towards the orchard. And as you turn in, you see that this has been turned in to a beautiful wedding venue. There are, there are arches,

a large gazebo, all of the chairs are lined up with extravagant, autumnal decorations all over the place. It is quite beautiful. There is a constant shower of shimmering golden, silver, and red leaves that are just drifting from the sky and replenishing. It is lovely. And as you make your way towards the front, you see that the entire venue is already filled with all of the guests sitting there. And as you look around, you see no sign of Mr. Witch or Mr. Light. You do see, however, that there is a tall elderly Sater man standing at the very front

beneath the, at the altar with a book held open in his hands as he shifts his spectacles and looks down at the writing as he seems to be practicing what he's going to say. You look around, you don't see the bridal parties anywhere, but you do see that there is a large section, specifically for Pixies and the families, where Busty is very loudly crying and excited for the marriage of her daughter to Grico. And as you make your way up, you are met by a dryad who makes her way towards you and greet you all. Hello. Hello. Welcome to the wedding. I do have the marriage certificates.

Gideon, can I have your signature please right here because your brows? Oh yeah. Lovely. And she rolls it up and ties it and puts it in a pouch at her side. All right, well the broom, we're going to go ahead and take you to the back room to get you fully ready. I'm assuming that Grico, Cremie and Frost are going to be your. your grooms from the party? Yeah, I mean, I don't know anybody else except for me, but everyone hates that.

Oh, it'll be crammed your hands down. That's right. Obviously, I mean, obviously. Why would you even ask me that? So they signed the contracts that I gave them? All of the contracts have been signed. No amendments or corrections or nothing? No, they've been gone over by the legal team prior to signing,

and all of the brides have agreed. And they read the whole thing? Yes, they've all agreed. Oh. I don't feel that. Yeah. All right. She was a little on the fence about it, but she has also agreed.

All right. Good. That's great news. Yes. Well, congratulations, buddy. Yeah, can't wait to get married. We're going to head on over to the gazebo for a moment to take a few photos, and we'll get you set up with the altar.

And then I'll explain to the three of you what needs to be done to start the ceremony. And when you're ready, I guess we'll begin. And she quickly ushers you over to this beautifully ornate gazebo where there are, where there is a large cauldron that is just filled with this bubbling amber alcohol that hits like fireball. But it's almost like a hot, buttery fireball. And there are little glasses there for you to indulge as. as you wait for things. So, please have a drink, and we will begin the ceremony shortly.

We will take you to the altar. You'll stand there and wait the ceremony to start. We will have Kremi leading the way first, followed shortly by Frost and then by Grico. You'll stand in order next to the groom, and then the brides will come in. Oh, we're doing all three at the same time. time? Yes, of course.

That's fantastic. That's really going to make sure that we have plenty of time left in the carnival to... All at once, just do it all in one fail swoop. Yes, of course. Yeah, well, wait, what order do we stand in then? Why do I need the best man if we're all getting married at the same time? You will be first

as the groom, followed by Cremie as your best fan, and then Frost and then Grico. Wait, I thought we was all getting married at the same time. I'm not getting married. You're getting married. So then, I swap spaces with Cremie, and then he gets married and I'm his best man and then Grico

I get married and then Frost comes out I would have some privacy I will go ahead and explain per the terms of the contract signed all three Pixies will be marrying you Gideon

What I meant to tell you the scroll that you just signed and it shows that you have signed to marry all three of the Cremant. Well, you didn't expect him to sign it, but...

What I mean in this face? That's what you wrote up? You wrote up that I'm married about it. All the pictures are three of them. She cast a bubble of silence steps out, and you are quietly able to have a conversation. What the hell is going on? Look, look, no, no, get... Let me explain it.

You're explaining. Kravon, you're the chin. We were in a pinch. We were in a pitch. Why my marriage? Everybody! How did you help get inside the pants? It's tiny little fore at the bottom. I said, look, I keep copies of all my contracts,

and I, like, zoom it in, and it's, like, magically getting bigger. You can see here, if no further amendments or corrections are made, this Faye Marriage Pact is hereby transferred to one Mr. Gideon Cole. Why would you write that? Because, look, what? Why would you write that gold? Or so on top. Oh, Mr. Widge, why would you pick any other...

About now. Have a miss. Two good reasons. All the forelock patients are dead. I'll never see combat. The only combat I'll see is just the forever time I spend married in the carnival. I'm going to reach out and I'm going to grab your wrist, and I'm going to shake the chain literally. I'm going to like, oh, the old ball and chain and chain.

Here, here, have some of this fireball whiskey. One. I know you got consummate. marriages. Two. This ain't the first time that, you know, you've been crossbow married to some girl that you consummated before the wedding day, and then we just skip down. That one's Ryan, Gideon, over here.

I just figured that I've witnessed you get married probably at least five or six or ten times. What's two more? Three more. Not accounting for the third one, but what's three more, Gidd? Gideon and the Pixie Chicks has a nice ring to it. It's going to be fine. I'm sorry. I should have told you first, but I figured you wouldn't mind.

You seemed all into the pixies. And I'm like, oh, thank God. I'm just not going to say anything. They're probably going to change it. Correcting with Crickle and I are screwed. But we're not screwed. Hey, half-file news. Thank you for.

Sure the good baron can of no faith marriages. There's nothing to worry about, Gidd. You understand? Well, you're going to go up there. All I know is that Rod has three. re-uses and mine's gonna have plenty more. Uses. Uses that it is.

Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Well, um, oh. Putting that aside. What I frost? I already explained it. I wasn't listening. I was drinking. I didn't hear a damn word you said. I'm gonna level with you. Frosty's, he's got his eyes on a giant talking swan boat. You like consommate marriages. Well, yeah.

You've been crossbow married a few times before to girls that you consummate a little too early with, found out, and we got forced to get married, and then we had to skip down. So, I'll see, you know, you've been married at least how many times. I mean, certainly there's probably a list of half dozen Kittians running around. So I figured what's a couple more, the pixies seem to be chanted by you, and we're going to skip town. As soon as the carnival's over, think of it as a Swiss getting down, see while. Now, does that mean that they still have access? to the money that we might inherit.

Well, no, the pre-up is still. It's still ironclad. It's just his pre-up now as opposed to all. But within the context of the legal boundaries of his pre-up, let's say he gets a quarter of whatever we all inherit. Would they then have access to that quarter? Oh, fuck. Out in the camp for taxi.

There's no pre-up for taxi. So she would have access to half of what his... quarter is. So he's he, the best you can do is an eighth of what we in earn. Wait a minute. I hate you Frostin. I hate you. I hate you. I have to do the math. No, you didn't have to do the math. You could have just shut up.

You could have just shut up. Okay? You didn't have to do the math. You could have filmed a drink and just stopped. I don't know. Nothing about contracts or a law. But because there's no pre-up, does that mean you can use some

Voodie magic. To have taxi take all of our debt for Mr. Guru? That's not how that works. But you avoid your magic? I wouldn't even fucking try. You think I'm going to try to pull one over on Mr. Guru? Oh, wait, that was that guy in the thing. So you're not going to pull one over on Mr. Guru, but you're going to pull one over on me.

Your best friend. You were passed out. You didn't see Mr. Guru. Yeah. Wait, was he here? He was a dirt in the mind. He was in the mystery mind. We saw him.

Mr. Guru was in the mystery? They could peer into our souls and they showed us a little bit of strange. It was considerably more frightening than what we saw with. Well, it was the second most frightening thing that we saw. Considerably the most frightening thing that we saw. Definitely the most frightening. And then Fronels was second and then I don't know what scares Grico, but it's... Here's what's important.

If we only use this wand twice before we get our reward and complete our quest and erase the debt and make it back to the prime material plane, Perhaps, well, there will be time enough and use enough to end your pact if you should so choose at that time. Sit on it, live with it. Well, and what I would say is that you can't get out of this. Look how many people are here. Everyone's here. I think even in the back I may see Neil.

And just next to him, Tina. What the hell is Tina? Tina Faye. She's right over there. Tina Faye, Dave? Wow. That was good. That was good.

Oh, it's that good. It's that God Derrick in the sweater and the glasses and the Purveut Italian. Oh, they both came to. Oh, the poets and Italians going over to talk to Busty. I loved you in 30 Rock. Oh, the bubble.

Okay, anyways, the point is... No, the point is, I'll make it up to you. And the second thing is that it's really not that bad. Look, if you hadn't gotten engaged attacks, this would be a lot worse. But now it's just like three wives instead of one. That's a lot better than two wives instead of zero if you ask me.

Well, at least there's probably no chance that followed me into the Fay Wildman continuing this adventure somehow. Yeah, I know. It'll just probably end here. So, almost certainly they'll be able to travel their pixies. What are you talking about? What does it matter with you, Frosty? You don't do anything supportive.

You just sit there, you saw math equations in your head. One plus one doesn't equal three. Gideon. Okay! I get it! Just shut up! What a happy joyous day! Are we giving him away, or are you expecting someone special? Is your par coming? Is your par alive?

Do you have paw? Why would you bring that up now? Well, because wouldn't Paul want to see? You know, he came to other 27 weddings? Oh, well, you know, I always. No. I was dead.

He's just set a plate for him. He's burned alive by Hobgoblin Warhost. No, he's not coming. Well, you can see it. Somewhere 500 miles from here, you see an old version of Gideot. Again? That's a little falling, though. Well, I'll keep sending invitations.

It all heard that he logged deviled eggs. So I always got the catererous to serve deviled eggs. That why we always have deviled eggs? I don't like deviled eggs. Oh, but then Paul Kulagelaw had deviled eggs. He's dead. Well, we need deviled eggs for. Nobody likes deviled eggs.

They're delicious eggs, eh? Oh, my God. Delicious. A little bit of horser radish. Yeah, a little bit of horser radish. Okay. Can we do this? Yeah, let's go.

Yeah, we can do this. I'll make it up to you. No, you won't. Yeah, I will. Trick me into a pack. You mind control me into killing Grico? No, my dad. And you're not dead.

I think I'm somehow responsible for you getting in the hospital in the first place. Look, y'all can blame me. We'll figure it out later. It'll be fine. Just like old times. Just like old times. We're getting in trouble and then we get out. I'm excited to find out what cliche songs they play as the brides come down the lane.

It's going to be very exciting. Oh, you think they're going to play a sweet clementon? No. No. What's that one that's like, nah. Oh. Oh, then. That one.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, dude. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. That's exactly right. Bumblebees. The French have always been gone. I didn't catch your name. I believe that Gideon and the three groomsmen are ready.

I'm very pleased to hear it. Well, I will escort you directly to the altar. If the three of you could make your way to the front entrance, beneath the archway of Maple Leaves, then once the music begins, Cremie, you will lead the way. On a count of five, you will then start. So Cremie will move. One, two, three, four, five, then you'll...

But I'll get a cue? The moment the music starts. Do I get a cue, too? Do I need to count myself? You count five after Frost. I think that perhaps... No, hey, Griggo's second. Frost is third. Yes, I was just about to suggest that he's not the one to count to five last. Yeah, no, he's not. Grigo's second. Grigo stands next to Kremlin and then Frost, but Frost waits for six seconds.

Oh. As you wish. Thank you. Can I wait for three seconds? You can wait for eight seconds? Oh, eight seconds? Yeah, fine, eight seconds. All right. Anything longer than five. A psionic hand brings you another drink. Oh, right. Well, yeah. I'm coming around on this.

Well, let's just begin then. Okay. And you are escorted to the altar, and you stand there as the, you make your way up to it. What song plays as I walk up? There's no song in places you walk out. Oh, well, classic. You are not, you are not getting, you're not getting an entrance like you would expect. The wedding hasn't started, but you are, you will be standing at the,

altar when the wedding starts. And you make your way up, and you see the old Seder there. Today on the day of this one. Hey, I don't think you start yet, man. It's just me up here. Hey, I don't know. Are you practicing? You are very bright.

Oh, well, I think it's this flower. I think it actually shoots fire. Oh, oh, gosh. Oh, are you okay? Okay? Yes. Oh, well good. I'm allergic to autumn.

What? Is it autumn? Now? Yes. Oh, well, you're in the wrong place, man. I was the only one they could get it this time. Oh, wow. Three weddings and a bar in basement,

theater. Hey, nothing's happened yet, man. Stop talking. Apologies. Yeah, okay. Just be cool. You need to drink. Poulogies.

Yeah, loosen up a little. Do you have one? Yeah. Hey, Frost. Oh, he's way back there. Isn't it? Wait. Cremie, uh,

Grillo, I think that, I think it just shit himself. Do you smell that? No, what? Again? I'm just trying to communicate to me.

All I hear is a distant scream in my mind. It smells like burning hair. I'm only like 15 feet away. I'm trying to head you. Yeah. I'm trying to mentally. connect to it. Do you smell that? It smells like burning hair.

Well, I think that's just my normal hair. It's just always burning. Gideon, are you trying to speak to me in your mind? Yeah. Frosty, you may wonder who it is that speaks to you now, but as me, you shouldn't want it too much longer. It's Giddy. You took 15 words

to tell me what I already knew. Yeah, well, listen, okay, can you use your mind hand to whisk up some of that you know hot buttered cinnamon rum to this crazy old sater up here he keeps talking to me

if he drinks rum I'm gonna kill him I'm not gonna give him rum do you want more rum I mean can't hand me a drink he's got these drinks got steady his hands I'll give you a drink and you can do with the drink what you please

oh plausible I'm ability I wish we use the word plausible more plausible other things should be a thing anyway suddenly you see a hand come and it's got the buttered rum. Guys, I'm so happy. Thank you.

Here, man. You need a drink? Yes, thank you. All right, there you go. Way whistle. Oh, geez. Yeah, somebody came up. It's about to get very 1994 up in this bitch.

I'm an object to me. Wait, you're not any kind of clown, aren't you? Oh! He's not a clown, but he's diabetic. All right, he's fine. He's fine. He's fine. All right.

Yeah. All right, you can't change. I'm hearing stuff going to meetings. You can't just add a man a drink. It's all down to end for my hell not. I'm not. I'm not coming back. And the music starts.

Dun, dun, da-dun, dun. I did so immediately start walking out in my game. And you do that. Hey, don't worry about him. He's okay. Don't worry about that. He was like this before I got up here.

He's just, yeah, he's kind of like, Yeah, he's kind of like prone to feta thing. I think he's happening. What's the cold medical event? No, no, no, look at him. Sturdy as a rock. Blue veins on his head. This guy's so sturdy.

More everyone three times. Yeah, this guy, the tabby's not going to make it this part of. Yeah, no. I'm not getting married after all. This guy's got like three seconds. The crowd rises as you walk. Five, well, You be getting your march down the aisle.

One, two, three, four, five, that's your cue, five, five. That's all the way at five. Start walking now. You don't have to count. I don't even know why I started with counting. Walk. No! Oh, okay.

And you do. You walk. Everyone's standing and looking at you. Some people waved back. You see some of the kids really excited. I try to weigh into Busty now that I'm not betrayed the Redonda. She doesn't seem to notice you. There is a really drunk Italian man.

Definitely a pervert. Steering over. And she seems to be interested. I hate that guy. We forget it. This is a special to her. You almost had to work day your life. I'll leap up and put my heels.

I'm not being way down by the institution of starting over my relationship to the federal government. You sing this. It's the fatorial. Yay. It's all the difference. Oh, ha. They're all like, I do a jig, and I'm clucking my heels together. And I'm not the street.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, right foot first, and then I start to walk forward. Frost is going incredibly slow Can you walk faster? Eventually you hear the sounds of the music Dun dun dun dun dun Can I control this? They're trying to slow down to make sure that there's going to be enough

song from ride. I see what's happening, I see what's happening I'm sorry, I'm sorry Snail number two you came He's going faster than Frosty. And you see that sale number two is there but significantly smaller than you remember, and there are two beautiful wooden rings

tied in a ribbon on snail number two's back, as it does make its way faster past frost and directly up in front of the priest. Taking step after step. Comey and you guys are good at stealing. We've got to steal that snail before we leave. Steal the snail? What's it talking about?

What do you mean steal the snail? I want that snail. No, we already have one pet. We're not doing two of these pets. But we're a very noble state of frozen peas. We can do it that. And it is about this time that Frost makes his way up next to you, and I'm going to use four twists of dread. Oh, no.

Oh, boy. Yep. 78. Oh, 94. 17. Tell me one at a time. 78 for the groom. The groom goes first.

It's his special death. We'll go in order of the groomsmen's. I need you to re-roll. Who's your own? 68. Can you brew some more? Oh, I'm gonna break out. Oh, I got a backup if I don't get 68, it's 100.

Oh. Well, you're the groom, so. Pick your best one between 68 and 100. Pick whatever you would like me to have. You cannot stop sneezing, yawning, or burping. Oh Oh I mean

I'm not 70 Oh What's in that? Oh, God Oh What hell's in that drink? You need a handkerchief? Yeah, you go

Yeah, I mean, I always got a handkerchief on me here Oh Jesus, that was believable Oh, yeah, well, I don't know, man, something in that drink So what did you give me? that, but I just throw up. I can throw up on command. I can make my stomach gurgle on command.

You should hear it. It's gurgly. Can you roll again for me, please? The higher ones are just so like... 33. That's going to be a much better one. Your mouth turns into the mouth of the predator worst. It's four jaws all changing disgusting.

Can you roll a... D6, one, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, no. Three. Gideon, no, it's one, two, three, four, five, six. You are in love with Gideon. Now's the perfect time. Does anyone object?

I can't tell a lot. Now, I object. Gricka. Uh, 38. I dig out 95, but I re-ruled it because you said everything in between. 80 or the 100 was not good. What did you have originally? 95 originally.

Let me see what that is. Yeah. And then I re-roll it's 38. Oh boy. Your ears become gigantic. Ah! What did you get? God, I wish I was a cleric right now.

Five. Oh, nice. Pretty good. In most cases, that would work. What is it? What is it? What is that? below your level for your goddator.

Yeah, but it's like DM-Fi. Can you roll a D4 for me, please? I am capable. Would you like me too? Yes, please. Uno. That means one. You become a spring-eladrid. What did we decide spring once?

We didn't have spring? We didn't have spring? We didn't have spring? That's all you. I would say you probably, you know. You're gonna do like, didn't we talk about it? It's gonna be like a pervert or a sex pest. I was gonna say, Sex Fest. Leveral sex.

The ball of the spring. Summer was, Summer was surfer dude. Old man winter. What were you? Oh, Benagnos. Oh, yeah,

Spiravoling. Um. Can you anyone hear frost tummy gurgling, oddly loudly? No, you're next to the snail. What? Snail number two. Is that you?

Yeah, I'm here. Hey, everybody. Chuckled here. It's time for an ad. read. This podcast is brought to you by our very own Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventures and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high

feed, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror's home for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you so much. I'll see you around.

No one seems to notice the change in you outside of you all. I see. Oh. Okay. Not even like sneezing or... I don't seem to think any different of it. It's not like anyone's...

So they might notice it, but it doesn't seem all. Okay. So you guys hear the whispering at the back, it looks like cracksie did show up. What did he say? Craxie. Craxie show up. Yeah, the cousins are all whispering about it.

They're hoping she doesn't make a scene. Can you all hear that? It looks like a reverse busty. Isn't that nice? Isn't that nice, everyone? It's so nice. Wait, reverse busty. That doesn't like the worst thing I ever heard.

You mean, Flatsy? You hear everything, don't you? Wait, wait, who? Griko. Grico hears everything. Isn't that nice? Isn't that lovely? Well, no, but how...

Explain your reverse Busted joke. Oh, Craxy and Busty. Oh, I'll get it. Oh, I get it. Now as well. I don't get it. I feel like Butsy is more funny because it's similar. I don't know if it's been for Busty.

Oh. Everyone stands up again. As you see a tiny pixie girl as she begins to fly down the aisle tossing these itty-bitty flower petals out of a small basket. Followed behind her, you see the wedding parties. There are about 40 pixies between the three brides

that are flying and making their way down the aisle is they make a line against the opposite side of the priest. And finally, you begin to see the first pixie, Bixie, as she makes her way down the aisle, her dress trailing behind her. There are two bluebirds that are holding up her veil as she flies forward. And she takes her place directly in front of you. You can see tears streaming down her face as she reaches her hand. so she reaches her hands out at you.

I'm so happy I'm getting it to be a really. The cake, Chad. Turned to Cremie. Is this one of mine? I think that, who was that? Was that, was Cricos? Yeah, I think that was Gricos. Okay, I don't, I started to tell her, like 40 pixies over here.

Look how happy she is. And then the next one begins to make her. Formerly Grick-Oz. In a very similar dress, Bluebirds also holding up her, formerly chucks. Her veil, or the train of her dress. in her veil as she's making her way down the aisle. And as she gets

to the front, you see if she like sidles Bixie out of the way, this is clearly Zaxie, who was supposed to be Cremie's bride. Oh, that's soon as to see you. I am the... Shut up. I am the clint. Cake, Chad. I am the clint. You're the climp. I'm the clint.

You just... I think that's some kind of disease, you know? Yeah, should you be here? Is that contagious? I'm overwhelmed emotionally. Oh. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, that makes a shut up.

This is not your wedding. I know. I actually don't think I can catch diseases. I think the heat just burns them out the second they come to me. I mean, if I could, I'd be dead. Oh, I guess that's for the hand. Do you guys ever talk so loud?

What are you talking about? Don't forget. You're in love with Gideon. I know. Okay, I'm just making sure. And then lastly, you hear the music swell. as in the, as you see taxi make her way down the aisle. Her dress is three times bigger than the other two brides. She lived diseased.

Her veil is twice as long. And instead of bluebirds, she has 15 dubs that are flying along around her, that are holding up her veil and the trail of her dress. As she makes her way down the aisle, her bouquet is almost as large as she is as she makes her way toward you and she pushes both of the other pixies out of the way and she looks towards you

I never thought this day was gonna come I mean I know we just got engaged this morning but I'm so excited to be your wife yeah yeah I've heard that before uh yeah well hey uh thanks for joining me and I'm gonna rock your world tonight Gideon. Well, this is my son starting to sound

pretty okay. Does anyone hear the sudden sound of wind going through a canyon? Sorry, that was me, I think. I was got a good point. I mean, Gere, I think she rocks. Every pixie's world, or every humanoid's world.

I've had a lot of experience, honey, and she winks at you. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's your daddy. Oh, my God. Jesus, Mike. Like a wizard sleeve. And with that in here,

Like Gary Goodberry himself was here. If we could get silence in the channel. Oh, he's still a lot. This is so beautiful. It's beautiful. This is so nice. It's not that beautiful. It's not that nice.

It's so nice. It's not that nice. Material Joni. It was actually five of us. To bring these five people into matrimonies. Got them. There's a fit. Well, there's no fit.

That's just thought it'd be funny, but I just messed them up. Oh, that's a good one, yeah. We can't even set the right though. We'll just make that our place to silence in the chapel. We'll just make that our little secret. Oh, um. Where was I?

Can hear his heart? Shut up! I think he had like two weeks left. Kalima! Kalima! Kalima! Sadd his heart's racing like a Shetland pony? Oh.

If I have to ask you to be quiet one more time, you'll feel the wrath of the Sators today. I actually thought you were done. Is this still happening? Do you want to marry every pixie in attendance? No, no, he doesn't happen.

No. Do you have that bad? The next person outside of me that speaks is getting married. Um, uh, this is, uh, you have been a sentence to four years in prison. I'll know that's one spot. Um, um, um, you, uh, were speeding. You are going 70 miles over the novel's one place. Community service and 18 months probation.

You have to wear this thing around your ankle and you can't know. No, actually, that's the right spot. You have to wear this thing around your ankle and you can never leave the house ever again. Yeah, that's about right. We are gathered here today to celebrate the love and joy between Bixie, Zaxie, Taxi, and Gideon Cole. Under the light of Our Lord

Uprin and Titania of the Summer Court, if anyone here should disagree with this union, may you please speak now who forever hold your peace. This is just ironic, kid, right? Like, just sort of like

guys not, huh? What? What are you talking about? These weddings, you know? Since nobody in attendance disagrees. Right, just tell me it's ironic what? Gideon. I guess it's a time of I mean, what? What?

And Kremila crew. Gideon, can you please give your vows to your four betrothed? Oh, was I supposed to write those beforehand? Just speak from your heart, son. I'll speak from the heart. Hey, you threw it pretty hot. Four. You four.

No, I'm not a kingdom in any of this. Anyone who spoke during the ceremony is now betruthers. Albatrossed and will be getting married. I didn't agree to that. In writing, is that a policy somewhere on the side of the chapel? Well, I think you asked if anyone had any, you know, like, those were beautiful vows. Oh.

It is now by the power vested beneath the Court of Fay, signed by Lord Opperan. Titanic Queen of the Summercorn, I now pronounce you men and wives and crummy. What? I'm married Cremie, too? It's just that rude. What the hell? It's just that rude.

The crowd goes off and you're now married. Oh, man, well. You now kiss your brides and cremmy. Well, I'm not kissing Cremie. No, well, we would never do that. Unless it's not required by law. Not required by law. I'm not kissing Bremmer.

You feel compelled to kiss and creme. I don't feel compelled. I'm going to take kiss and creme? You weird sater? He didn't get a tux of some other. Yeah. Weird and drunk old satir? He get your cakes out somewhere else.

Jesus. I'll kiss my pixie wives. Oh! You close your eyes and begin to kiss your pixie wives in Cremie. Oh, God. You burpened his exes' mrs. Say sike right now I'm not saying sike. What are you going to say sike?

What's the matter? I'm just, come on, man. There's no reason. No, I'm just, you know. Act all strange. He's got giant ears of those maybe that's not weird to me. It's just guys not.

Yeah. That's a little offensive to go. I mean, we're getting married. I got a bunch of pixie wives. And I mean, I guess now we're married. That's, you know. And with that, everyone stands up and cheers. You take.

your pixie wives in your arms and make your way down the aisle. Everyone's throwing rice at you. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. You're walking very closely behind. You are technically and legally married to Gideon. And

Well, that's common law already. And you make your way to... You make your way to a beautiful autumnal outside like gazebo area that's filled with food and drinks and celebration. And for the next

The next hour or so you have time feels like it slowed down a little bit and you have time to mingle. It's the happy hour. Isn't so nice? Oh, how much blood is coming out of my ears? Two Blue J's are holding them up. Whoa! Oh! Oh! Oh.

Oh. Well, thank you, Mr. Blue Jay. I'm sorry, wasn't that beautiful? Stop screaming in my ear for a Tee, I mean, strange green man. Hey, he's not screaming. Look at all that blood. Oh, oh, oh, my nice toy.

Oh, oh. It's so heavy on my neck. There is always one at a wedding. It's going to be all right. It's going to be just fine. I should have gotten married. I'm sorry. You feeling all right?

If you can hear me primal spirits, I'm sorry for all the bad things are deep. Have a hard lemonade. I don't want to be okay. Oh, thank you. It's like even the gals can have a strong beverage, too. Oh. You are ruling. Your brides are actually nowhere to be.

They're out on the dance floor, dancing, having a good time drunk. I'm out on the dance floor. But you imagine that this hour that you've been gifted by Mr. Witch, where the time has been slowed down a little bit, is the last opportunity you're going to have to make whatever plans you need to make. Because the moment this is up, you know that the crowning of the Witch Light Monarch will be happening immediately after this reception. We got a lot of plans to make.

Can I? Is there a candy stripe of big seat? No. Oh. Well. You have plans to make, but dancing's all I know. Oh, they're gonna play sweet

Clementons. What are some nice moves? That's pretty good, yeah. Maybe we could do that together, I guess, right? Oh, look at this. This is kind of fun. Yeah, come on, Kremlin. Should I do like opposite?

No, no, we're connected. Now we're connecting weird. Yeah, no, I mean, it's kind of appropriate, right? You guys can bump hip. I think that'd be kind of weird It may be all the blood It's your big day It may be the blood loss

But I think that looks quite nice We've got a plan to make We gotta get this moving forward Oh Wait, how much time do we get We got? After this it says it's gonna be It's gonna be a whole A whole crown in the world of the Mitch

Witchlight Mono We haven't talked to the displacer beast. Don't kill Thaco yet. I think that that time is over. I don't think we're going to platinum this. Yeah, Miss Kitty Wiskis. And that's okay, it's fine. Well, I feel like I'm, I forget, like I met her, but I don't remember how.

Well, Tim used to work here eight years ago. I did, and I visited Miss Kitty Wiskers, and I feel like something very important is missing. Yeah, who knows. Who knows who to possibly be? Probably. Probably. Probably. I saw that one, I guess.

Yeah. It's probably not important. I think I also may have slipped several discs in my neck if that's a thing that exists in a family. Neck discs.

Sure. Yeah, my neck discs. Sure. Now everybody, huddle together, huddle together. It's going to be our little secret, all right? Yeah, that's right. You're making me very uncomfortable. It's around this time

that you hear commotion as a group of people gasp and scream and off to the corner you see a bunch of people running and huddling around an area as people are panicking and yelling. We gotta go check that out. Oh, that's probably nothing. You're the groom.

You're supposed to be responsible for this whole thing. You're all the groom. Responsibility? Come on, let's go. Why do you think I was so happy when you got tricked by crummy? I just wanted to dance. Well, I mean, they're pretty.

probably gonna play a downtown funk later, so you can get in on that when all the kids get to the dance. We're just gonna face this problem, we're gonna beat the devil out of it. Just really wanna hear DeRudey. Sandstorm. It's really wanna hear DeRude Sanstorm.

Oh, yeah. Sandstone, that's a good sandstone. That's a good sandstone. And of course, they're gonna play at the Electrum slide. And you do make your way over to the commotion. Two hops is time. At this point, my head is like dragging.

Uh-huh. They're still getting bigger too, I think. As you make your way over, the crowd parts for you, and you see a sight that you did not expect. Faco the clown laying dead on the ground. His face completely swollen. As you see in one hand a fork and the other, a plate that used to have the groom's chosen dessert peanut butter pie.

Thacko had eaten the peanut butter pie. not realizing that it was peanut butter. He chose the groom's side, and Gideon's choice of cake has killed the clown. Specifically, I didn't invite him. I didn't want him here. So he killed himself, I think.

What are we going to do? Why? There's no responsibility to this. We're going to be liable for this. No, it can't possibly be liable for this. Just because I love peanut butter cake and peanut butter desserts of all kind? You didn't clearly mock that it was peanut butter.

Well, I didn't invite him. Yeah, but one another guest had a horrible day. epipede an allergy. I don't think that's even possible if they're not clowns. It's going to be all right, Gideon. Sometimes you need a little dark in order to make the light that. Yeah! What is... God! Wait a minute. You! When I heard that, please, please, no one can hear me over the music. That was funny. My heavy pants in my left pocket, my half, my head depends on my left pocket, I have 30 seconds.

I'm not dead yet. If someone can get me. There's still plenty of time you're saying no one can eat. You're right here. How do you have to do? The instructions are as far as. I mean, I went out for a couple of minutes.

For 60 minutes, you heard that? You heard that. For an hour, you heard that? You died slow and that's nice. That's all right. Isn't that nice? I just thought it was a little wedding time. break, you know?

Oh, man. This man needs medical attention. No, he's a corner. And I'm going to like pretend like I'm giving a medical aid, I'm sort of pickpocket and basically see any like letters or correspondence. Sure. One investigation check and a slight of hand. I loot the body. I loot the dead clown. We have one of these. I hear you. I hear you. I

your hand while you were rolling. No, no, that's a natural 20. Oh, I didn't hit your hand. No, no, no, no, I'll take it back. We're married. It's legal. I think I just love to help you. Also, you've married four people, so your AC goes up by 8. I'm untouchable. Except by my wives.

No, that's not how AC works. Oh, it is tonight. I choose to get in. Always correct. As long as you're within 30 feet of them. So my slide in hand is 26, and I'm going to twist my investigation. Okay, roll a D100 for me. Oh, that's going to be good.

Is that another shimidy sham? I'm going to twist the hand. I can't read his. It's so hard to look at. Six and eight and a one. One more. One more. One more. You're already.

There we go. That's pretty nice. Nice. We need it. 17, I believe. No, 16. three twists. Okay. All the twists for me.

Oh, God. Can we absorb twists on behalf of other players? Sure. I'll take one. Oh, I'll take one. Okay, so we'll get one more. If it helps me get my head up, this is called him uncomfortable. But if you do that, I'm going to, I might choose them for you because they're not like it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, guys. Wow, teamwork.

That's how hardy is work. Grico, you are the Bailin King again. It's the best one. Snail number two. Ah! This ain't is unknown for excellence in champagne. I see the court jester has displeased the crowd and has suffered a well-deserved death.

Yet another dead jester. Are you on the crowd, like, backing away from this. Throw him in the shit trough along with the others. And allow me to... Ah, snail number two. Have you been on Jenny Craig? You've lost weight. Isn't his wedding so beautiful, giddy? Look at all the mason jars with little teacamping.

I believe you are the world greatest bard. Snarly, my beloved! I scan the crowd. Snail number two, come here, I have a harness for you. It says mice, but I feel that's a little offensive. Only mice, that's preposomous. You will make a fine steed if you join me on my quest to save Goblinopia

and fuck a troll to be there for that too you can't You know you have to want somebody has to hold the camera It's just like Ah Yes

Congratulations on the wedding You know In Goblinopia we have kings right Well I was not yet You know what I mean? You're good. You do you.

I'm good. No, it's just a prank. Oh, no. You're new to Kings, Rites. Who was the last person you killed? Oh, Kings Rides. Oh, I don't know. I mean, it could have been...

You got to pick a theme. That's the thing. That's good, that's polite. We got clowns and got fucking... It was the M. Weird ass pirates. There was a bullywug that I didn't tell anyone about that was following us into the swamp, and I basically, I sort of like sneakily dispatched him.

One of the friending centers. When I said that, you know, we weren't followed. We weren't, but that's because Kremi killed him. Yeah, he was like, we weren't followed. I'm on some loose strands of hair. He was white. He just pointed out. Yeah.

But it's like ink stains. Wait, wait, wait. Mikey, I'll get rid of your ears if you can be a bullywug. How do we want to do a bullywog? However you want to do a bully wug. You've done bullywogs before. You didn't actually. Yeah, they were all barbering.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You were haunted by the ghost of the last person you killed. Now that fat goes dead, I think I can just be the next core chest shirt. It's going to be fine. Everything's going to be beautiful. Look how beautiful this wedding is. I'm the world's greatest barred. I'll be able to take over immediately.

No problem. I can write a song. Poetry. Oh, hello, my honey. Hello, my daughter. Hello, my ragged. God. Pink.

Samaic is my wine. Trash raw, no. What's the baby? You're the greatest ball in the world. You never heard François. Oh, la, la, la, lo, lo, you have robbed the world. greatest singer

to François you let me no choice girl who you're talking to man? Look that is mental gymnastics I gotta come clean remember Francois at the tavern before we left

well it was? Yeah yeah remember when I said hey we weren't followed when I did my little check it turns out we were followed night did a little, you know, pew, pew, and blasted him in the...

De Francois? In the body. You blasted him in the body and exploded him in the vapors? I did, well... You melted every rabbi had. It's more like the first one kind of went in, and then the second one

came in inside of it, and he kind of like did one of those... Oh, the second one came inside him and burst. Yeah. Like a microwave. And so, like, on the outside, he just looked at a little. kind of like aluminum oil like that, but inside it was all just, you know, so

and I heard the tunes of harmonist jazz. You did. You know, you can't hear what he's saying. He's got a beautiful singing voice. Yeah, I always thought he had such a beautiful singing voice and you just blew him up. I just blew him to smithereens.

There's a grief that can't be spoken. Well, that's fine. You've got nothing on frames of all. gone and wrong. I'd like to see kind of like a little dual thing going on. I can accept that.

No, I, I, I, I, no, it's fine. I, I'm, I'm the greatest part in the world. No, you're not. I am. I think Francois got your beat. In the world? You're not even a bar. You're not in the list.

I'm in the technicality. He's not in the world anymore. You know, you got a good point there. Broken ribs and ruptured insides. Now my guts are dead and gone. I'd be happy to try singing a song, but I, you know. I mean, can you at least try to be half as good as Francois was?

Hey, everybody. Why are you pointing for me, you master, Grimbing for me, everybody's going to be magical, everybody get on the dance floor. Everybody get on the dance floor. And people are screaming and looking over the dead bloated body. Oh! It's going to be looking at the dead bloated body, and I just immediately, Love in you,

everyone, everyone, to the dance, floor. Don't look at the clown anymore. We must kill another minstrel. No, we like this one, I think. No, we don't. Well, we don't like his talent, but we like him. No, we will throw him into the shit trough

on with the gestures. No, no, not this one. I'm snotty, my queen. Let us unite our noble houses. I was pretty embarrassing, frankly, but I mean, maybe it's just because in comparison, I'm hearing Francois and the acoustics are real good. with this kind of goosly voice

that sort of has this nice reverb on it and it's like a little bit of chorus, you know? Everyone's entitled to their opinion. That's fine, that's fine. Everything's fine. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. You keep saying that you're the greatest bottom of the world,

and I'm trying to say that your opinion about that's wrong. Well, you're wrong. I mean, no, it's fine that you have your own opinion. That's the beauty of life. Well, actually, I'm not sure you can't have opinions right now. I don't think he can lie, so I think everything he just says is the truth.

Exactly. It's what he perceives to be the truth. That's a good point. The lens, the lens that we all see the word are through. It's gorgeous. Damn it, he's smart. I mean, he's smart.

I mean, I'm surprised even in this form it doesn't look anything like a cat or frost at all. He looks like a... He looks like a beautiful painting man. He's got pink skin. Giant Afro. Basically, if Derek grew his hair out.

He's like an orange. Like a clown. He doesn't have... Is it pink skin? skin that they have? Green. Or it doesn't put whatever you want. Oh, it's a green.

You get a choice. You get a choice. Ah, it's like a tangerine cake bar. If I wasn't full on peanut butter pie

and frozen peas, I would take a nibble under that strange minstrel. The first song must have King's Reyes, women. Please stop joking about King's Wemke.

Lord Shembebeck. Kings Mabielack. King's... Oh, The Faye. We've always been synonymous with excellence in this in Britain.

I already tested to the betrayal. that'll have another thirst. Well, I'm getting some peanut butter pie. Everybody's going off the damn deep end. All right. Should we, like, you know, like, feed each other some pie? What? I mean, we kind of like ironically got married, you know?

What the? She might be like, if you want your king's rights, you start with him, right? That's what I said. Hey, yeah. Oh, thank you. I'm being the peanut butter. You know, it was all ironic. It was ironic, fellas, right?

It was sort of like an ironic marriage, so that doesn't even apply. Yeah, I'm not even sure that guy was a legally empowered Seder. Yeah, you know, what? You probably... Oh, that means your children shall be bastards if it was not in the eyes of the seven.

Oh, the seven what? The seven-headed toad of Goblin Toopia. Are you stupid? Did you fail religion and history class? I don't take classes. No one has its own lore.

Ah, yes. Right now, there are Wikipedia Editors. Jotting down the deep lore of Goldman Terbury. Meanwhile, arguing and nitpicking in the comments that no one reads but there.

But now snail number two, now I must find my betroth, so we will have another wedding. I'm still singing at the top of my lungs. And stuck at the throat. I am sitting in the morning at the diner on the corner.

I'm just going off. I'm doing... I'm doing it. All of this. Out in the darkness, some detivators running. You're not really taking this seriously yet. I mean, I guess we don't know.

It's ironic, but you could at least, you know, take it seriously that it was ironic, you know? Take what seriously? That what was ironic? And we, you know, we sort of kind of like ironically got married, you know?

We ironically get married. Some crazy drunk satyr. was like, oh, now you're getting married too because he spoke, even though that was, what's the matter? Are you crying? I'm not crying. I'm not crying. Why? Why do you fight? What's Francois? Keep singing to me.

Oh, do you wish for a sad song? Would you have any requests? I'm a better wedding bar than that pathetic green man. What's the saddest song you give me good? This only one. There's only one. One is the loneliest number that you ever do.

Two could be as bad as one. It's the loneliest number after number one. And this continues. I will keep requesting Francoada sing me songs to just live in my fields. And that happens. As the music continues to play, you get called out to the dance floor multiple times. You need to have your first dances. First with Jane of Proudmore.

First with... I get to dance with Dana Proudmore. I don't know. I'm a baby, are you getting okay? No, I mean, I'm talking like, Walker III, Jane and Proudmore, or like Battle for Us or Jenner Proudmore? Oh, oh, no. Oh, okay. Oh, no, I'm on the dance floor.

You get pulled out to dance with Bixie, Zixie, and Taxi. And then eventually Cremi. As Cremi comes out to the dance floor and waits for you there for your first dance as a married couple. No, I'm not there. You don't go? No, I don't go. Before Cremmy goes to a dance floor, I would... Well, he apparently doesn't want to meet you at a dance floor.

Well, I would sign flag down, seeing... my best pal, possible new life partner, crying in the corner and begging a horrible specter to sing him sad songs, I would flag down a, I don't know, somebody serving the wedding, and I'd say, hey, go, Sam Cremia drink me from me. Tell him to come to the next floor. What can I drink to you on a send him? Well, send, what, what's the most delicious drink? I don't know. I don't drink. You're the word.

Okay, rum, send him rum. Tell us from me, though. All right, I'm going to tell him rum from the groom. Hey, can you spice it up a little bit? Hey, crummy is some rum from... I don't mean to drown. I mean your attitude. Spice up your attitude a little bit.

You know what I mean? Like, pizzazz. Make him feel it. Make him feel the energy. He's a theatrical guy. You know, he's going to respond to, like, a little, I don't know, flourish your hands or something. Okay.

Yeah, thank you. God, holy. And as your crime... You see this pixie make their way over to you with a cocktail. Grammy Le Crewe. Here is rum from the groom. Is this you doing it? He really asked you to do this.

He asked me to do it. He even told me to flourish it and do the hand thing. He would like you to meet him on the dance floor. He knew I would like that. Would you like to take it? Francois, you can stop. Mrs. It's Mr. LaCrew. the point of no return.

The final threshold, what woman spoken secrets will you learn? You can stop now, Fransom? Shut up, shut up. Thank you, Franswell. How do I look? Can you see with your creepy ghost frog ass? Your eyes are incredibly puffy and swollen.

That's my mustache. You know it was really unclear. Your mustache is really frazzled. I don't know. It's just covered in snot. We go, nice, pencil thin. Your mascara is running from the drag show. Oh, that's right.

It's your wedding. You can cry if you want to. Cry if you want to. Cry if you want to. They would cry too. If this happened to them. I knew what come out rhymes. I, uh, just my bow tie and I will walk to the dance for her.

Kremi shows it for the dance for, Gideon. Was that drink really for me? Yeah, you're looking pretty sad over there. You know, you know, it's ironically our wedding. That's just ironic, right? Yeah, it's ironically our wedding. It's a couple of guys not, you know. Listen.

Cremant. Yeah. Get. Let's dance. I walk up to the microphone. I was going to ask, thank you. Give me time to realize my crime. I start singing, boy, George's,

do you really want to hurt me? Which I forgot in the melody too, but, you really want to hurt me. Is that how it goes? No, I'm trying to do the wedding singer right now. Yeah, that's what I sing is you guys slow down. in just a forgiving passion. It's just ironic. It's just, just, it's gonna be so funny talking about.

There is not a single dry eye in this place. As people celebrate for the new brides, as people watch Cremie and Gideon dance, as people with perfect pitch listen to Frost Ross or Bob Frost. As he sings, I like Morning Ross. Morning Ross.

I like Morning Ross sing out of key. And as the few people who were friends with Thaco cry over his bloated dead body. And Ed's Grammy is like starting to feel like the moment and the music. You will hear karma, comma, karma, comma, comma, come a chameleon. It comes and go. And it just gets louder and love good. All right, Frantzon. That's enough.

Nothing would be easy if you're coming out, my dreams. Why are you screaming in my face to shut the fuck up, Mr. At this time. This is quick screaming. We're dancing. And it is at this time that all of a sudden you hear the loud booming voice of the loudspeakers. It is that time.

The crowning of the Witchlight Monarch begins now. And this evening, the first evening, final evening of the witch-like carnival will be doing things a bit differently as we celebrate the wedding between Gideon Cole, Kremi Lecru,

Zaxi, Bixie and Taxi. We're going to announce the monarch now and a celebratory parade will accompany them to the big top extravaganza.

Congratulations And that is where we'll end the session. Oh! Ah! Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventra's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or higher

to unlock Shroud of Her Salt Marsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com forward slash Legends of Aventrists. If you want to chat about the episode with the Aventrous community, join us on Discord at Legendsofaventris.com forward slash discord. We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at Legendsofaventris.com forward slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk

horror five-e supplement published by us. Get your own copy at The Crooked Moon.com. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.