Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 16 | Monarch for a Day

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

The Witchlight Monarch is finally crowned...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/mhEvP86Mcao?si=kMyxuWiJzPQ2VLta

Greetings. You're listening to Legends of Aventress. My name is Morning Frost, and this is Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. My name's Mabel, and I was sent here to escort you to your weddings. Welcome to the wedding. Gideon, can I have your signature, please? Please. Your eyes. Per the terms of the contract signed, all three pixies will be marrying you, Gideon. What? I meant to tell you, Gidion. What? Because we could get silence in the channel. Oh, he's still a lot.

It's just so beautiful. It's beautiful. It's so nice. It's not that beautiful. It's not that nice. We all gathered here to bring these four material jones. The next person outside of me that speaks is getting married. No, I'm looking.

Anyone who spoke during the ceremony is now betrothed. and will be getting married. I haven't agreed to that. I now pronounce you men and wives and crummy. What? You now kiss your brides and cremmy. The moment this is up, you know that the crowning of the witch-like monarch will be happening

immediately after this reception. Thacko had eaten the peanut butter pie not realizing that it was peanut butter. He chose the groom's side, and Gideon's choice of cake has killed the clown. Cremant? Yeah. Get?

That's good. The few people who were friends with Thaco cry over his bloated dead body. The crowning of the witch-light monarch begins now as we celebrate the wedding between Gideon call, Kremi LeCrew, Zachsy, Bixie and Taxi. We're going to announce the monarch now. Congratulations, Morning Friday! Found yourselves enjoying a wedding. What had originally supposed to be three weddings, through some cunning trickery on Cremie's part, became one wedding, as Gideon found himself married to all of the engaged pixies. The wedding went off seamlessly.

And Cremie. And Cremie. And Cremie. I got married four times. The wedding went off seamlessly, and Gideon found himself the husband to three. three people. How that will, four people shit like you were getting around.

Get my house in order, please. Yes, I apologize. The coal house is now totaling five. It's on fire. It's on fire. Yeah, oh, it is. Flaming hot, if you will. The wedding was

beautiful. The reception was lovely afterwards. However, Gideon had chosen a certain cake, a peanut butter wedding cake. And there was someone in attendance. Oh, help me. There had been the option to put a sign, a notice that it contained peanuts and to avoid

if you had a peanut allergy. But Gideon decided last minute that that was not, this is all made up, that he didn't want to, he didn't want to have to deal with all of the room getting those kinds of things set up. And so there was no signage. and unfortunately one clown fell to the cake Thacco the clown ate a slice of cake

and with his peanut allergy he swole to the sides of a balloon and these guys this cake's pretty good help me use guys oh you have a peanut gosh this is a peanut butter

my only weakness I think it's Nutella no those of them hazelnuts You know, hazel nuts are actually... Yeah, so anyway, that's what... It was choking and dying for almost an hour, but no one seemed to notice him screaming,

I have a peanut allergy. I'll just float to that one. You know, I'll listen to him for an hour, dying, so holy bad for help. With his super mental hearing given to him by a friend curse, was able to hear it, but he didn't fully understand what, help, I have a peanut allergy, I'm dying meant. And so he died painfully in the middle of the reception.

And it was because his body was being carried away. And the guests were crying and in shock over the loss of Thaco that an announcement came over the carnival that someone had been decided as the Witchlight Monarch. And that someone was mourning frost. as the trumpets music as the trumpets sound and the calliope plays you begin to see the crowd's part as very clearly a beautiful unicorn and butterfly parade begins to make its way down the thoroughfare towards where the wedding reception was happening and it is here that you see at the very front there is a gigantic carriage that is clearly large enough to house all of you. Um, however, there is, at the front of it, there is a large pedestal seat. And you can see that this carriage is magically being pulled along by two very large butterflies, one purple and one blue.

Their wings, iridescent and, um, shimmering in, in the light of the carnival. And as they pull it along, it floats behind them. you can see that the space on the inside is already filled with pixies and the brides. The entire wedding party, except for you, are inside of this carriage, as well as other people that you've met. There's that weird guy Mike, that Italian.

There's a- I hate that guy. Little fucking bad at him. Neil is sitting inside. You've got that, that strange, strange child that was trying to sell you all of those sauces and their mother.

Duncan was his noise. Excuse me. Yeah, thank you. I made that on PC. Who's the kid kicking snails? Oh, that was Chester Cheeses. You do see that Chester Cheeks is sitting inside of the carriage as well. He's picking on Duncan and Duncan's just letting it happen. And you

you see that there's really no room for all of you. As you you continue to hear the loudspeaker boom out, that the Witchlight Monarch is Morning Frost, and Grico Grimgrin, Cremmy LeCrew, and that's where it ends. Oh, we get it, yes! And get it in Cole!

There is a hush that spreads over the criminal as everyone looks around, you're here behind you. Is that even possible? There can only be one monarch. This has never happened before. Oh, God. What do you mean there are four of them? There should only be one monarch.

Shh, don't let Mr. Witch and Mr. Light hear you. And you see that people are whispering and they seem a little frustrated, a little uncomfortable. But then you begin to hear, they've done so much for the carnival. Cake Chad is my favorite. I even got his autograph as people start to talk about you in a more positive light.

And the mood begins to shift back more towards a, positive atmosphere. And you realize now looking at this caravan that that long bench on the front has enough room for exactly four of you. And as the carriage stops in front of you, you see a rolled out banner that rolls out. It has the beautiful gilded markings that says, which like Carnival Monarch. And it looks like just a banner that rolls out in front of you that turns into a beautiful red carpet. But as you step your feet on it, you see. that where it heads down from the caravan itself, it turns into steps. And it gives you an easy access directly up onto the top of this carriage.

Well, no! Of course I'm a monarch. They're just stating the obvious. But wait a minute. They forgot my name. Who is Grick-O-Grim-Grin? Do we still have these? Yeah, we didn't even clear them. Ah, the fence. The peanut butter cake didn't clear. What are what? I don't remember what my...

Another court jester into the shit trough. I'll say for the sake of my sanity, the moment you step onto the carpet and it wipes your... Ah, the finch. Known for their excellence and bird kind. Oh. Are you feeling better?

Well, I feel a little loopy, because in account of ordered champagne, excellent champagne I'll drink. How much did you drink? Oh, no. Oh, my belly is filled with frozen peas. You know, they spiked the champagne with gin, so probably not ideal. Oh, well. Oh, it's fun.

Yeah, that sounds like our wedding. Do we start frozen peas? Roll a perception check. for me, please? Oh, it would be my pleasure. Gid, why am I suddenly filled with crippling regret? Yeah, well, bro. What have I done?

Well, we got married. You wrote up the contract. It was six. Oh, great. Thank you. It's part of the contract, Gid. Oh, well, what the hell are you married then? I thought I was in the contract.

I don't know. I just got weirdly jealous and I couldn't shut the fuck up and then he just sort of made it happen. Oh, God, that drunk old man. Yeah, that fucking Seda guy. Oh, man, to be fair, you hate, He was off the sauce for 20 years, and you kind of broke his. He's not getting his chip this year, if you know what I'm.

It seemed like he needs a little lick with courage, you know what I mean? He was barely making it as is, you know? Well, I mean, I think it's old Gideon's fault. Wait, we're older monarchs? Listen, listen, I'm getting blamed for a lot of stuff. You don't put out a peanut butter sign of clown dies, suddenly you're legally liable. I married four people. One of them is crammy.

Your taxes are going to be very complex next year. Oh, God. Well, no, that's fine. I don't pay them as it works, so. Yeah. Who is the last time? Every time it's like, oh, the taxman's coming. We're skipping time.

Yeah. Oh, and then Mr. Guru came, and we couldn't get out of that. No. Well, that's how it taxes. Yeah. That's more like royalties. What? Extortion, perhaps?

Well, yeah. Extortion? He's taking... Never more. That would be a really good job. Very good typical of human. I'm not going to moat. Um...

Let's break detention with a little joke. Oh, wait a minute. We're all the monarch. Oh, is that like when friends start like a business and oh, we're all co-CEOes? Because no one could decide decision rights in a business. Yes, it's going to be interesting to see how this plays out. We may have split responsibilities,

or perhaps we will have to all do the same ritual over and over four times three. I mean, is there like a ritual, or do we just see how much... Are you guys getting on the carriage? Oh, okay. It's not a carriage. I said you just had to step on the carpet. Oh, the carpet.

Oh, a lovely carriage. Oh, we have the guest list and this greasy-looking pest of some varieties, He's not on it. So Busty, get away from him. You don't like, he's not, he's bad news. Very bad news, get to fuck off. Busty is sitting on the lap of Mike the Italian.

Okay, get the fuck out. I'm gonna try to violently grab and throw him out. Sure. Violently grab and throw Mike the Italian out of the carriage. You're not gonna ruin. He says violently shaking him by the collar. You do? Sorry you had a deal with Dad Busty, you know.

Well, you have to, you have to, have to roll a strength, I guess. Well, luckily, Mike has a minus five. I get to decide. I get to decide what Mike has. Oh, an athletics contest, you say? He certainly got negative. I have Chuckles' character sheet,

but no Grico, because we have not had any combat in 80 years. All right. Probably should have, I'm just gonna say I got a 21. You're gonna just say that. that or you did? I think I have a plus one to strength, but I'm going to confirm in a second

to roll it to a time. I wrote a 19. Wait, I thought I had a plus two. Excuse me. View. Athletics. Oh, it's a 20. Well, Mike rolled a three. Enjoy your Wilhelm scream

as you fall out of the carriage. You watch his Gricko as he's walking down the carpet heading towards the stairs that lead out to your place of honor at top this carriage, as he looks over and he sees, he hears Busty giggling first, alerts him. As he looks over and he sees as she is sitting on the lap of Mikey, the perverted Italian. What I repeat myself. Twice.

Mama Mia. with envy and then red with rage. As he rushes over towards the other side of the carriage, wrenches the door over enough of you. And grabs Mikey by the ankles and rips him out of the carriage. Busty squeals as she falls to the floor of the carriage being knocked off of Mikey's lap. And you are now standing over Mikey, your angry green face looming over him,

as Busty is slowly wiping herself off and trying to regain her car. And who's this guy, he's just some guy in a sweater with glass. You get the fuck out of you too. Neil? Or Derek. Oh, Derek.

Anyone who's just some guy, you're not welcome. You're not a fantastical, magical fairy creature. You're not welcome, okay? I'm sorry to say it. You mean, cracks he's even invited. But if you're just some guy who looks like they would have to start a podcast in middle age.

Get out. Get out. Come on. Get a fuck out. I'm sorry you to deal with it. I'm sorry you had to see that by state. I'm sorry. Are you okay?

Are you okay? No, I need you to roll another strength contest against Derry. Derek doesn't resist. Oh, he doesn't resist. No, no, no. He would, he would, he would, if Gringo came up to Derry, he'd be like, all right, I'm out.

Un-Harm me! I thought this was a different carriage. I'm gone, I'm gone. Okay. I feel a lot better about Busty. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I had to see that. You have a wonderful carriage ride. We have...

Oh, by the way, I'm the Monarch. Grim, Grim. Grim. Monarch. Wish I like Monarch. You know I was really getting far with that Mike guy. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, you don't have to worry about him no more. He won't bother you. He won't bother you. He won't bother.

I really enjoy him bothering me. I don't get attention like that was there was. Well, that would stand to reason. but, you know, what you're trying to say? No, I'm just saying you have a nice flight, and we will talk at the coroning ceremony. Why do you not look at me in the eye when you talk to me?

What? My eyes are up here, green. Wait, what did you say? Huh? Are you going to be okay, son? Huh? Do we need to get a medic in here? You know what?

Oh, me lad's here. Okay, goodbye. I only ride the carriage. That was you. No, we're on the bench. Are we like on a bench on top? Oh, yeah. We're outside.

Yeah, so you all paying attention to what the Dungeons mist is saying, even with my wacky jokes. Thank you for getting into our carriage. We'll see you at the, wherever this carriage takes us, I guess. We'll be up there. Goodbye. Bye. We'll see you, everybody.

All right, goodbye. Oh, right, goodbye. Oh. Thank you, Busty. Yeah. Sure. Thank you, everyone. Neil.

She lights a cigarette. She just starts smoking. I'm on the bench. You make your way up to the top of the carriage, and it begins to move. You hear the sound of a scream as the carriage wheel drives over Mikey, the perverted Italian's leg. Can I get a pencil? I want to snap it. A pencil?

A pencil. Oh, I don't have my pencils today. Well, you should leave them here. I don't know. Those are ice pencils. There's a pencil pencil. Yeah. Like this.

It's hard to break. Oh, what's your hand? No, give me one. I'm gonna break something. Give it to me. Don't listen to rich. The plastic is dangerous. Yeah.

Don't do you. What about Mikey? Do I listen to him? No. What the hell? There. He breaks a leg. Oh, you can see his leg

is severed off by bladed wheel? Jesus. Oh, tragic. You hear Mikey scream and cry as his leg is snapped beneath the carriage wheel. He needs more vitamin C. Did you hear a soft that break was?

It's disgusting. No, he in it. It was like jelly. It was like a jelly. Oh, you think it didn't break? No, I'm saying it's just it's miraculous that the carriage weighs that much. I guess it's like an 8 million people in this carriage.

Well, yeah, we're riding. We're a bunch of mussely guys. We're monarchs. As the carriage begins to make its way through the carnival proper, the two large butterflies, the blue and the purple, the blue on the right, the purple on the left,

they are magically pulling this carriage and you feel as it rises up into the air a little bit and swoops back down, enough that the people who are lining the thoroughfare are easily able to see you no matter the size of the crowd. And you hear cheers and yelling. The overall mood of the carnival has increased significantly.

And it's from this vantage point that you can really see everything as a whole. This is the last event of the last night of the Witchlight Carnival. And this place really is spectacular. The glitter that rains through the air is shining in the light here. This preternatural light that is generated regardless of the time of day. the way that the bubbles float through the air and they have this a beautiful iridescent sheen to them

the clouds that hang in the sky are cotton candy pinks and blues and the air itself just smells sweet everything about this place is beautiful to an extreme and it is clean and cozy and comfortable and it is regardless of what path you take today it is your last night in this place

and with these people. And for this moment, you are being celebrated as the royalty, not a witch-light monarch, but a witch-light monarchy. As the four of you are driven through the carnival, and everyone gets to experience you in this moment before eventually leading you towards the big top. But for now, you have some time together, what feels like a little, bit of a little bit of privacy. Kirkuk, you make me a promise, please. It depends on what it is. Yeah, that's a good point.

10 fucking minutes from now until we get to the big top. No more shenanigans, all right? What? No, shenanigans are wrong. No! We have a highest plan. And we got like 10 minutes to do it. Well, what if the horse involves at least one shenanigans?

Well, I mean, it might involve us. She's gonna have to happen. We can talk about shenan again. Okay. I was going to propose this. that we need some form of distraction in order to get either the cane or the watch, a shenanigan could do exactly the right trick. Well, I think what Kettlestein suggested was that the pocket watch would be much easier to get them the weather vane.

So, any ideas? Well, I, if we can't come up, our safety net, if we can't come up with anything better. We rush them. No, we, we, when it looks like Mr. Witch is distracted, perhaps with a rushing, or perhaps with the shenanigans. I could just try to telekinetically lift it out of his pocket and hide it away. If you can get it in my hand, it's hidden. I just need to get it in my hand.

Okay, so the football goes to you then. And I could be the one perhaps to attempt to grab it with my mind and steal it to you as quickly as possible. I would only need five or six seconds. Well, which one of you think actually puts the crown on us? Well, imagine that they're going to be four crowns now. So it's possible that either Mr. Light or Mr. Witch deliver the crowns, or perhaps they'll have four people there to do it.

There's no guaranteeing that we'll be able to get to within 30 feet of either of them. Now, there's one more snafu we have to deal with. The pocket watch is on the chain. You've got to break the chain. That sort of gets thing. Done that once or twice. So here's my proposition, all right? you make a distraction

I shouldn't have to tell you any more than that you got that cover you're going to distract Mr. Witch then you're going to somehow accidentally brush into him maybe a ax oh you trip and you're a big fella and there's going to be a whole lot of Jocelyn fall and crush him and then we take the

wise oh no fucking kill the guy what are you talking about? I'm not going to kill him I mean he's kind of big himself isn't it I mean when you use the word crush well I mean he's big for like an elf fella you big like just in general. Well, that's fair. All right, I won't

question them, okay? All right, you know. A lot of rules in this highest. The change should be visible on the outside of his waistcoat. So as you fall on him, just use your strength and try to just break it. All right? Yeah, I can do that. As steadfully as you can.

Then Frost, that's when you and you use your mind, you lift the pocket watch and I'll be there, and I'll be in the shadows if I have to. I'll grab it, and all. Yes. Whisk it away. I'll mine, Berkel.

One concern. If this watch is a magical item, we have to take a gamble, a bit of a risk. Because if the chain is part of the magical item, then it will not break. It will be as indestructible as any magical item might be.

Could you break maybe like a thread attaching it to the coat? Yeah, it could be one of those situations where it's an indestructible watch, but it's just tied on to them with like, you know, like stupid. but normal rope. Nobody ever thinks of that.

Exactly. It's like cut that so crazy. Hopefully it's not attached to some sort of piercing or anything along those lines. You mean like to his... He'll notice that right away. You think he's got it attached to his nipples? I didn't go to nipples right away,

but yes, if I were... What the fuck else would be? Yeah, I mean, what kind of other piercing you think he's got on him at the waist level? Go on your pulls right away. You think he's, you know, like, attached to his waistcoat. You never heard of a Jacob's ladder.

I was going to say, I have not. I used to know, I mean, Oh, Neil and I for a semester room with a god named Jacob. Oh. Yeah, he used to, the clear gutters. Was that the one that Neil was telling me about earlier?

Oh, probably. Anyway, that was a bit of a shenanigan. I apologize, Cremont. Should have made him sign something. Let me. Well, you probably end up marrying him to, all right? You can just calm down with the sign of things. That's fine.

That's fine. If your ability to take the watch through your crushing, rushing action, uh, fail. I'll still be able to attempt to, let's say he puts it into a pocket. My hand can be inside that pocket as sneakly as I can. He'll be putting it into my hand in that moment. And then when the time is right and there are no suspicions, I'll scoop it away and get it to Cremie.

What we're gonna need is something that we think is of about equal weight. So when I lift this off of him, he doesn't notice the absence of the presence of such a thing. He keeps on him at all times on the... Wait, I'd miss my manacles in an instant. That's his watch. That's an important point. No, you're not going to pickpocket. All you're doing is breaking the chain.

The second he has a tussle, you might check his pocket watch. Well, I was that I mean, you carve up some standing watch and we slip it on him. Tats the pocket, he feels the same thing. Let me ask. He's at ease. Does it matter? Does it matter if he knows that the watch is gone when we have it? Once we have it, don't we, according to, uh, Cross would remember the name.

What was the name? Kettlestein. Kettlestein. to Kettlestein, we may have won the game by the time we had it away from their possession, and we might be able to wield it, and I don't want to use violence, but at least

command their attention more than we would otherwise. I mean, we might as well just bum rush me. Hey! Now we're talking. I'm trying to have to sack the cereal crushing guy. Shenanigan.

An accidental chain break. There's no, oh, you know, oh, I'm sorry, I'll have my tailor patch that up yeah something goes on and then you lift it out of his pocket when he wouldn't suspect it you didn't think twice about it then I get it and then we we unveil a plan I still think that it's a genius idea that we replace it with some sort of weight wouldn't even be that crazy we just smoothed off a rock some get to a general sense I can slip the watch out slip that in you know if I won't roll well you know if you're trying to break the drain and put it out of his pocket and

have something else. I don't know. That just seems like a lot of finesse for you, Gid. Well, uh, yeah, you're right. No, big. You're making a strong point. Let's just stick in the strength. What if we flip the script? What if instead of my hand being the one to take it, you are the one who actually lift the pocket watch, but it's my job to secretly unhinge it or unhook it from wherever it is? do a little so I just double-checked. I'm rolling advantage and I'm plus three so you know it's not that bad it's pretty good. You mean you're willing to

advantage for a slide of hand. Oh. No, I'm pretty well like thieves. I like street thieves. I understand with street thieves but usually I'm not good. Take that off them and you just pick them up and you just rip it off the person. Yeah because it's usually more fun to do it that way but I actually have a lot of layers to what I can accomplish. You know that's we just never like you know trying to sneak of these steel stuff we usually just knock them out. Well I mean you know because that's the more. fun thing to do. Well, it sounds like this may be handled. Perhaps my

telekinetic powers aren't needed. Maybe my best use is to assist with the shenanigan and perhaps get Mr. Light's attention. Well, I think, you know, we practiced a little bit of this when we were drinking at the wedding while I was up at the altar and you were sliding me drinks. Appreciate that, by the way. That's my pleasure.

Once I get the watch on my person, I think it would behoove us to have you take it off me. So if he notices it immediately, I'm like, whoa, I don't know. You missing it? I don't have it. Like a little, you know, shell game kind of deal. I'll feel like, no, you don't even...

Come on, get it. You've got some big old sausages fingers. He's going to feel you running your fingers all over his person instantly. All you've got to do is break the chain, rip it off in the tussle. And then, Frosty just ready, and he just grabs it. the second day it breaks and he then goes

and he gets it to Cremie and Clemmy's like oh what I do and it goes away so it's all made it tripping on them falling down not so I'm going to have a shenanigan is going to be

a wild gorilla on the loose and then you'll say oh no my monstrous menagerie has escaped be like, oh, oh, Mr. What? Oh, rassal him. Oh, hold on!

And it's going to comeically run through his legs. And then you're going to say, ah, and it's going to be very wacky, and all you've got to do is break the chain and frost is ready to, whew, and then we're good. Grico, did you say gorilla or gorilla? It was very unclear. I'm going to use a twisted dread.

Play with fire there, Derek. Oh, on whom? Sorry, who? Derek. Now I roll for it. Or actually you just roll a D20. D20, yeah. Oh, I'll roll this beefy boy for the level of naughty.

15. Is that what I think it is? Yes, the naughty list. You immediately die and roll on the reincarnation table. Any mention of gorilla in this carnival, and there'd be tremendous catastrophe. Oh shit, is he done? Like some kind of joke? Oh no.

Somebody checks balls. Does he have one of those? She was allergic to peanut butter paw too. Oh God, we should have put that damn sign out. Can you fix this? Can anyone fix this? Oh no. No.

He just get cute a spirit or something? Did he say something? Did he get Abdul al-Hazred in and just blog daylight? What? Roll on the recreation table. What table should I use? Whichever one might he use. Can you pull that up?

Oh, yes I can. This is a nightmare. I hope it's a kinku. 500. That was a D100. I know. It's a 50. 50?

Yeah. Once again, I'm just a witch. Can you just turn your black cat? So I actually am a black cat now. Yeah. Instead of a tiger. Yeah, you're a pan. Or just however you want to flavor a hex squad.

I assumed, oh, you're a hex squad. Oh, you're a hex squad. Oh, you're a hex squad. You're just a hex squad. I thought you meant I turned into literally like a one hit point. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was just like Sabrina Teenage Witch style. Um, ah!

Oh my gosh. My fur. I'm black now. What's happened to me? Guys? You look very cool. I'm pretty sure you died for a second. I would say you know that you died.

I saw a terrible vision. You look kind of like, I don't know, like he can cast spells. You hate magic. Oh! I do feel... God of the Frost. Oh! You look like you might dance around the fire during the evening.

Equinox. What color of my eyes? They're like a bright yellow. This is going to take some getting used to. But even worse, I'll be forever haunted by the feeling of passing through the second veil and by the memory of that terrible face. What?

Are we sure this isn't just some sort of like weird, fairer magic, you know, and you'll be bright as rain once you get a little bit tapping? That's almost seriously weird fair magic. No, this is much worse. Oh. This is dead serious. Well, instead of morning frost, evening france.

I know, is it like evening, like chill? Oh. I'm just glad you're alive, Frosty. I thought she was killed by an invisible spirit, or a ghost, or a phantasm, or a specter, or a shade. I was. And I think, at least I think I was. I mentioned that name and... Don't say it. What did you ever say? Don't repeat what I said.

you do. You could be next. What, grilla? I think you just shouted grilla out into the air. That was it. When he died, but I'm not sure exactly why. I mean. You feel okay? What do you mean? You're not seeing any things around? I'm seeing you. I mean, that was pretty

crazy. You just died. Now you're black cat. This is going to throw a little bit of a wrench into the Monarch. I don't believe he died. I think it's some kind of shenan. No, I think it's some kind of shenanagan. He's both. Maybe Grico. Why me? Why me?

Why me? Why me? Why are you suddenly wearing a pointy hat? Why is everyone looking up in the sky? Why me? Ah, I'm sorry. Spirit of Grilla. Don't kill me next.

I literally just was going to have a little gorilla, a little pygmy gorilla and a little pygmy gorilla, which my monstrous menazer has gotten. loose and he was gonna have monkey business that's all monkey business that's all I would have said oh no it's an ape escape that was a name of the shenanigan that was a distraction the apers I mean if you can still do that I don't know why you can spoil it now what why do you spoil this well because I feel like this just died that's pretty good we should have named all our shenanigans abyscape that's pretty good well it's gonna have to be like mock two though

because he's dead and a black cat can you do nothing different now that you're like a witch care. Can you use your hand powers? You look like a witch. Which witch? Right. I feel that I can harmlessly remove the walk of my air or one of my teeth.

Oh, oh my gosh. Why me? Is this helpful? Ah. This is a new one. I know we've been beset Bostrained deliriums during this carnival. Look, this is very some, but I want to just reiterate.

We have like two minutes left by the time until we're at the big top. The big topo. You still good? Can you still do the left? Oh, oh, quick! I'm just going to chuck one of my blocks of wood at you. I will attempt to telepathically catch it with my hand, and I believe that I still can. So it gets caught and it's going in the air now. Oh, yes, yes. I still have my psionic abilities.

Oh. But I feel like if I spent a night with this tooth, I would be able to do special dark arcane magics. Oh, God. Oh, and it's just like inmate. This is back in there again. Five? Geez. I'm not a bleeding or anything.

I've been transformed, but if I focus, I should still be able to assist with the heist. All right. Well, I'll come up with a good explanation of what happened. Case they're like, what the fuck is this? It's not some trick. It's not some ruse. Well, at least they don't know that. I have no idea.

What possible explanation could, I can't say the name. They'll be on to us immediately. What name? The G, the one that starts with the G that he said and then He said it like 15 times He just put pygmy in front of it You think that matters?

Oh, it's a grelin technically But I was like, you watch a grelin I'm like, you guys are like You don't know about monsters Oh, wait a minute I'm an expert in monster That's my whole thing, remember? I feel something

innate within me Within my blood even Oh I cast a sky's self And I look like normal Poth, Oh, I'm gonna do it. Oh, wait, didn't it have to explain that.

No, it's no joke. I'm still as I was, I've disguised myself using the arcane magic, see? You can stop playing. Oh, oh. It's all too real, everyone. Waity! Oh, God, let's just look.

Try to just pretend none of this has happened. I will. I'll just push it out of my mind. Look, this is just a classic house Let's just play it like normal, all right? You all have a role. Okay. You know what to do, all right?

I don't know what to do. Any question. We're stealing from? I'm tackling him? No, look. Just follow his lead. He's going to do some kind of shenan again. I mean, that's like half of my distraction.

I'm just a spirit beast. You know, give it's escaped. You have a good head on your shoulders. You've good instincts. Just when the moment's right, you just, you just, you... Yeah, well, when you put it like that. It's going to come to you. Yeah.

for you. Okay. All right. Well, I feel good about it. Nothing can go wrong, I don't think. I feel, I'll agree with you. I mean, it is around this point that the carriage pulls up to the big top.

And you see that behind you, all of the people that you had passed had followed in behind the carriage, truly creating a parade through the Witchlight Carnival. And as you descend from the carriage itself, you're actually taken by that very same pixie drag show back around the side and you see that everyone else that was falling behind is now filtering in through the entrance to the big top and taking their seats. As she moves you around the side to the big top,

towards a side entrance, one that you are familiar with, the same one you used to enter for the drag show. And she lined you up and, yes, do you have any requests? As Derek, I have a request. Just for my own personal visual for the parade, can we say, that we sort of Macy days, Macy's, uh, Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, uh,

that there are like floating versions of the four of us. Absolutely. Like giant like, right. Absolutely. That's, that's all I am. Yes.

There's going to be a weird bad situation. No, none, none for me. I'm fine. Uh, everything's fine. Oh.

What kind of request? Yeah. What do people normally do? This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror toome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, minatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more.

Thank you. You are standing there with this pixie that has helped you before. And she is constantly on her Rocky Talkie, just notifying things. Yep, I've got him here. Yep, I got all for. Nope, they're fine. They look, yeah, they look like they always do. Well, yeah, for the most part.

I remember her name. What is her name? I don't even remember if I gave you a name for her. Clarinetta. Perfect. Yeah, her name is clarinetta. Remind me, you seem like you know all of the logistics of what happens from here until the end of the carnival. Is that correct?

I'm sorry. I had someone speaking in my year. What were you saying? You know all the logistics. You know what's going to happen in what order tonight. Oh, yeah, for sure. Can you walk us through what the original is going to look like? Can you walk us through?

And my request would just be, so that we're prepared to give the best performance we can. That you tell us a little bit about how things have changed, why there may be four monarchings, what we can, are we going to be brought on the stage? Are we going to be expected to do anything? Who's going to crown us? Who's going to crown us?

Maybe one question in a time, trustee. Any details. She's not writing this down. Oh, I don't need to write it down. I have an absolutely spectacular memory. All right, here we go. And she moves apart the curtain a little bit, and you can see that the Big Top is completely.

completely packed full. You see that the stage is set up beautifully, and in the very center of it, you see that there are four gilded chairs that sit next to each other in the very middle of the stage. Okay, well, the first thing that's going to happen is I'm going to take you out on this stage. You're going to take a seat at these four seats. You understand me? The crowd is going to go wild. They're going to love it. Some people aren't such a big fan of the fact that they were for you, but which I'm still, I do what they're going to do, and there's nothing I can say about it.

Okay. Once the crowd calms down, then all of a sudden, out of the fact that they're going to be a lot of the fact, they're going to be a lot of the world. back, Dear LeGron is going to bring forward Mr. Witch. Mr. Witch is going to come and he's going to stand behind you, okay? That's what he's going to do just because he wants to be present, quite honestly. I don't really know what more to say. Mr. Light is going to go ahead and make his way out to the stage on his own. He'll probably repel from the ceiling.

He really chooses what he wants to do for every crowning of the rich, like Monarch. He is going to address the crowd, tell them what's going on why there before, probably, I don't know. Okay. And then you'll notice Candlefoot the Mime is going to go. ahead and come off from the side of the stage. He's normally the left side, but sometimes he'll come from the right side. Really just depends on where Mr. Light chooses to put him that there. Inside of a hat box, he would normally have one crown.

Okay. This time, however, there are going to be four crowns. How they're going to do that? I don't know. It's up to Mr. Witch and Mr. Light. Okay. After you've finished being crowned and you're gifted your magical abilities, then what we're going to do is Mr. Light is going to, uh, he is going to take you on a

tour around or on a movement around the big top carnival. I'm sorry, around the big top itself. You're going to be able to shake hands and people will be able to do it on you, etc. Then you're going to go ahead with Mr. Light is going to escort you back to your carriage. You're going to make another pass around the carnival itself. And then towards the gate of the carnival where everyone is going to leave. You, however, are going to make your way back to the big top where you're going to dismount,

return your crowns. And then you'll be free to go. Okay. Oh. While you are on your tour around the carnival, Deer LeGron is going to take Mr. Witch back to his caravan. In the back, he does not proceed with you through the procession of the evening. Okay.

Do you say we're going to get crowned and get magical powers? Oh, yes, of course. What are the, what magical powers are they cool? Oh, you'll know when they come to you. Okay. Oh, my goodness. That's my cool. And just to make sure I'm getting all of this.

Can you repeat all of that again? I wasn't listening. No. No, I'll... I think you'll be fine. I need you roll on the naughty list. I need you roll on the shenanigan list. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure Kremi told you no more shenanigans. I did. Oh, fool. But it's just shenan again and again and again. Is it a D20? That's a D20, right? It's a D20. Okay, yeah, four. You were incredibly paranoid and believe everyone is out to get you.

Oh, good. Oh, this isn't going to go well. Hey, you haven't heard of any pygmy gorilla nappers around here? What? No. Is that a thing? Oh, uh-huh. Yep, no, they're ready, boss.

Okay, I'll send them right in. Thanks. All right. And with that, she opens up the curtain even further. You can go ahead and proceed to your thrones. Congratulations. Thank you, Clarinetta. It's been a pleasure.

It's clever. I think your name is Stacey. Stacey. Clintsey? State. Wait, Karenita, what have you done

for the second you said it I'm not well. Wait. Ross and leaving this way. I couldn't have married her.

What have you done with Stacy? Sorry, there was something in my ear. You say your name was Clitzy? I hate my life.

All right, Clintcy, well, thank you. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on for good. Hold on. Derek,

I'd like you to roll on the naughty list. I think that everything she just said was a lie. She's trying to steal Giuseppe. What? Who?

Giuseppe, more pygmy, Pygmy Garallin. You have a pygmy Garallon named Giuseppe? Yeah. What? What? And literally a pygmy Garallan. You cannot tell the truth. You love lying.

No. A pygmy garallon that is as big as I am is next to me and it, as a blue energy swirls. And it starts off as a spiritual creature. And then you see that the hair will start to grow and it appears to be fleshy. And he's standing there and he's wearing a tie. Giuseppe, you gotta stay alert.

Oh, no, this won't do. You can't bring a pet into the crowning. Oh, but he's my emotional support pygmy gorilla. That's true. You gotta understand. You would in part a pegged poor anxious goblin with his pygmy garran who's his emotional support aminal. Oh yeah, I absolutely would and she cast a spell magic.

Oh, did she say me. It's going to be just fine, Grico. Oh, you said me. I'll never feel any kind of connection with a monstrosity like go ahead with you. Is this going to cause any issues for a project? Abeescape. How do you know about Project Avescape? That's what you told me about Project Avescape.

You could lay down his old project. Can you argue about this on stage in front of everybody? Clinton's, we're discussing it. We're going to argue. No, no. Let's go. My name is Claritzy. He said it was Clitzy. I thought it was Stacy.

It is Clitzy. Oh, it's Clitzy, see? You're all along to me. Yeah, go ahead and roll on an item. I know you want to. Just one highest, fellas. That's all I ask. Just one.

My name's Clemsy. Eleven. I'll roll this. Yeah, you should roll that one. Did you actually roll an 11? I don't roll an 11. You all swap bodies. Oh, fantastic.

Please give me Frost, please give me Frost, please give me Frost, three, four. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait, what's that? You are all swapping bodies. So you're going to roll a D4, and whichever number you get is the person you become. This is the worst box of time.

One! Everyone is trying to get me. Go on. Everyone is dragging me again. You roll again. Oh, damn it. Inside you there are two wolves. No, no.

Roll again. Two. Who's two? Grico. Oh wait, do I? Do I still? One, two, three, four. So how are we doing this?

Is it, like, personality? Does the... You keep your personality. But you are Grico. Do our curses stay with our souls or do they stay with the body? Your curses stay with your your soul. So I don't hate. I don't love to lie. You don't need to lie.

You're paranoid. You're paranoid frost. I don't know how to tell you this. They took Giuseppe. They're all lying to us. So who am I? You got a roll of the thing, yeah. Well no, what did you get?

I got Grico. Do Grico's voice. I got Hello, hello, ayyo. So that, so you are Giddy. Oh. Oh, well, can you say, uh, anything is crem me and suddenly your mind? What to do.

Oh, Wadda do. What to do they? I'm your huckleberry. I like to lie all the time and sound like this. Good thing I know how to do Cremia's voice. There's actually pretty good, Cremian. It's a lot better than bringing it. I don't sound like that.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Why to do? Why to do? Why the fuck did this happen?

Of all times, fucking this time right here. I think there's time for a shenanigan. There's only one way. I've used quite a powerful resource in order to cast Giuseppe. I'm certainly glad you did that. Giuseppe is now dead. Oh, the wise choice there. Now if I summon another spirit beast,

I'll have to have a different name for him. Or her. Oh, no. You kind of have a different name for... Wait, hope. I don't know. We probably don't know exactly who's in whose bodies, but we should probably be grapple with the fact that we now switch by.

Oh, I'm in a different place now than I was. Oh. Oh. Okay. That would be suspicious. Okay. Wait. Did you do this?

What happened? Yeah. I'll immediately drop. I'm a black cat down. Ha ha ha ha. Oh my God, I am become a bad omen. That didn't even hurt. I knew Cremie you were up to something.

What, wait, are you talking to me? Cremie, I knew you were up to something. Fuck, this is going to do. I'm Cremi. I'm in Giddings body. This is Frost. I'm, I'm, I do. Cremie, you're the one who got us into this.

Oh, with my angry cause. buddy, I'm green and small. Tremy, you were there. Why didn't you tell us the kind of man that Remiguru was? I thought he was just a guy who ran a riverboat casino. What I'm saying is that I'm Cremmy LeCru. He's not Cremmer LeCruh. I don't know why you keep saying what to do.

You're from. I'm not going to be saying. I should be saying why do it. Oh, no. I understand that this is quite, no. It's more of here, yes. Cremie, is that you and you? Gideon's body, just like, I have become

Frost who has died, I now am dead. Oh, no. You feel this warm all the time? Oh, yes. I feel this warm all the time. Wow, that warm, all the time, there's a fire inside me. Who is that? Is that you, Frost?

I don't sound like that, Frost. What are very nice of you? Can I get some of them there, can I get some of them there, Taffy? I would hate it if you got me some Taffy right now. I'm going to need you all four of you can stop acting the fool

and to get up on the same. I really want to go on stage right now but first I do not want taffy. I love that for you. I think that's a wonderful thing for you to be feeling. No, you're not understanding. I don't want any taffy. Please don't give it to me right away. You've lost the

accent. Now you just have the timbre. I'll have to slow it down in order to I'm getting close. I'm getting close. I'm getting close. You're kind of more like here. You're sitting in the front. your voice and this is the way they pronounce. I'm working on. I'm working on.

Okay. I need you to go to the stage. Oh. How do you even get? Ow! How do you get to the stage? Oh. You literally walk to it right there.

No, because I'm so small and short how these legs work. That's very offensive. Not those goblins have a New York accent. Why? I'm just trying to try to know. I'm just trying to shout to Matt. Not a warcraft to New York at Brooklyn accent.

Now, let's just get a fucking. That's very offensive. I love this. Let's just fucking go. Yeah. Well, that guy. Sorry around French dressing. Okay, Kremel. Is our price playing totally just...

Wait, do I have to cross powers? Let's just hope this all wears off and by the time we... Oh, no. Do I have to summon Giuseppe? Just don't do anything until we make our way around the thing once. Oh, no, do you know how to play an ocarina? No! Oh, fuck.

I walk out on the stage. You begin to walk. You walk out onto the stage. The crowd begins to go wild as you make your way up the stairs that lead towards the stage, and you take your place at the furthest seat from the entrance that you entered. Clearly. And you take your seat there, followed by what's your order? Marching order?

I went out first, and as I'm walking out, I'm tipping people with my hat, and I'm like, hmm, did the curse of the tooth thing happen into Kremi's body? and I pull one of Kirby's teeth out. Nope. It's like that game when we were all children. And then I, yeah. People in our age, yeah. You remember you're now visualizing it.

And the stickers never quite aligned. It was kind of off. Sons of bitches. The fuck are you talking about. The gentle gator or whatever that gave. Gator golf. No. Oh, you know, the one way you have to push down the teeth.

Oh, yeah. And you have to like get your hand down right quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What would that call about? I can't remember. Oh, God. Does your neck always hurt looking up at people?

Ow! I mean, does your neck always hurt? Look at other people like this? Is this how you do it? I do more second. I'm coming. Oh, God, it's going to take me 50 years. Thank you very much.

These chains are kind of annoying. Just fucking deal with that all day. Yeah. You know, it's a, oh. I mean, it's a representation of this into my past. Ow! Of course. I feel like we've all sinned, or perhaps that is what the elites want us to think.

Uh-huh. I think they're all shape-shifting interdimensional vampires. It's at this point. I fucking love you guys. As you're all sitting down, that all of a sudden, the lights begin to change as they sparkle and move around the room, a shimmering, iridescent, almost like a disco ball feeling as the lights sparkle and change all over. A hush falls over the crowd. As at the very back of the big top, the curtains open.

And you see a dark shadow enter into the space. And towards the back, you hear shocks and gasps. You hear someone scream for just a moment. And then you see what their reaction was to as a large, as a large dark displacer beast begins to make its way down the pathway and towards the stage. How is it doing that? As it moves forward, you see that sitting atop it nestled between two clearly fake butterfly wings is Mr. Witch. and as he arrives, this displacer beast down the pathway, the crowd begins to clap and cheer.

The lights continue to move and sway. Confetti falls from the ceiling. And you watch as Claritzi had clearly told you this was going to happen, that, fuck, my life. Her name is changing. No, it was. I'm being gangstalked. I'm gonna end him.

She clearly told you. You guys need a moment. No, no. I'm paranoid. Oh, no, mistress. No, good. No, I miss Kitty Whisker's not you too. You're part of his vile scheme.

Oh, do I have detain this? You what? Why wouldn't you need to tame it? Well, because doesn't this body know a thing of two about a beastress menagerie? I think that's more tied to his mind. Oh, I thought it was the high float. You're Gideon inside of his body, so you sound like, you sound like Cremie, not Cremie, wow, you sound like Grico, but you have Gideon's mind.

It's a nightmare matrix, especially when you... It's a very difficult... Well, what is this? Is this power in his bones, or is his power in his mind? That's a dungeon and Mrs. Scratch, don't know. the dungeon mistress. Do we have our... I would say you were the person's race, but you're not their class. Oh, so I still have my... Oh.

Yeah. I will need you to hand over my ocarina right at this moment, at the present moment. Oh, I'll need you to hand over my flame core. My... All of that could have been done prior, let me finish describing what's happening, please. Wait, never mind. So that we can proceed with this fucking heist.

Clarice had let you know that this was going to happen that Mr. Witch would be escorted to the stage via Dear Legron. And that name does actually ring a bell to you. It had been something that had been talked to you previously. You knew that there was a displacer beast named Dear Legron that was at one portion of the carnival that you had not been to and that was the lost things area. And it is clearly, this is clearly that displacer beast and you see that she is massive, and beautiful and regal as she struts down the pathway towards the front of the stage.

And as she gets to the very foot of the stage, with a hop in his step that you would not have expected from Mr. Witch, you watch as he bounds off of Dear LeGron's back, clicks his heels together, swings his pocket watch on its chain for just a second before tucking it into his pants pocket. Then he grabs the head of his cane and you hear the click, click, click, click, almost mute. as he makes his way up the stairs of the stage and stands behind all of you. And he motions his arms out across the backs of your chairs. And he actually leans in towards you, Gideon. And who were in the two center chairs? It was Cremie and Gideon because it was Frost.

I'm speaking to you as your actual person. It was Derek Rich, Mace, Gricker. Yes. Perfect. He leans into you two. and he says it would seem that something's a miss

he snaps his fingers and you feel yourself sloop back into your bodies oh that's my time thank you you're walking for the gulland thank you

Mr. Witch that's thank you I see a bangle taggo again yes all of your all of your afflictions

anything that was bad was not good that was bad as now good. But he does. If I were you, I would keep your voices down. This place echoes and everyone can hear everything you're saying. Oh. Thanks for the heads up.

Well, thank you for all this and we're looking forward to the set. And he motions his arms out as all of a sudden the music from the calliope begins to play. And from the very top of the big top, you begin to see a slow spinning, round of colors blue, pink, purple, orange, yellow, green, red until, I mean, this is beautiful, but this is relax

a wave by something. So we're going to be a hards down. My favorite. I don't know what that was. I was playing. What was fine. Playlist. Probably Gavin again. And you you see as almost like a

kaleidoscope of colors begins to shift and you see that the lights begin to change and they begin to show fairy creatures. moving along the sides of the big top, almost like a kaleidoscope. And down from the very center, repelling on a beautiful silken strand in his most fabulous outfit yet, you watch as Mr. Light repels down from the top of the big top. And as he descends, he holds himself aloft, wrapped in the silken strand about halfway down from the ceiling. As he calls out, welcome to the...

big top extravaganza and the crowning of the witch-light monarch. And the entire crowd laughs and cheers. Yes, that's right. We have four monarchs this year, and it is for a special reason. For anyone who's been here today, you know that it is the last night of the Witchlight Carnival, at least for now. Though we will return, tonight has been quite special. There have been many events all across the carnival, and this, what has been one

the simple night has felt like 14, maybe even 16 days. That's true. So does. At least 15. At least 15. 14 to 16 at least. 14 to 16. But it has been one joyous night. And it is this night of the witch-like carnival in which we have had the most fun.

And my weather vein, and he spins it and you watch that it is from this weather vein that this magical light is illuminating from. And all of these kaleidoscopic images of fay creatures, dancing and a wooded glade. It's where it emanates. My weather vein has never been happier. And it is all thanks to the four that you see before you. And so we will break tradition this day as we celebrate what they have done for us,

which is to bring joy to everyone here. So let us all raise a glass and you see that in all of their hands a shimmering glass appears, filled with a frothing pink liquid. Let us all raise a glass and celebrate the crowning of the witch-lid monarchs. And in his hand as well, you see a goblet, a gilded goblet as he begins to drink. And everybody raises their glass and drinks. And they're loud burping sounds as people drink down this bubbly beverage. And you see that out of their mouths spill these beautiful bubbles that pop and glitter

explodes in front of them. If burping could be beautiful, this is what it would look like. And everybody claps and cheers. You watch as Mr. Light spins himself, and he begins to face you, and he smiles at you, as he points his wand out to you. And all four of you feel yourselves renewed and invigorated, as you feel a magic wash over you, almost as if you have endured a long rest. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, good. Now, let the crowning begin.

And Mr. Light will, you watch as he spins himself up. up in the silk and begins to ascend back to the top of the big top. And out from the corner, the left side, you see Candlefoot the Mime, no longer pale shades of gray and white, a sepia-tone man, but a beautiful rainbow-colored mime as he makes his way out onto the stage and in his hand is a very mundane hatbox. as he moves towards you and towards Mr. Witch specifically, he removes the lid.

And you see that inside there are four beautifully ornate golden crowns that seem to be made from a golden band that looks like oak, but topped with 50 what appear to be live monarch butterflies. But upon closer inspection, you can see that these are,

are clearly gilded and mechanical created monarch butterflies. But the magic that's infused within these crowns gives them the visage of life. And they appear to be real as their wings flap and their little antennae twitch this way and that as they flutter upon the crown. They are glorious to behold. It's almost hard to take your eyes away from them.

And as Mr. Witch moves over towards the box and he removes the first crown, and he places it atop your head frost. The crowd goes wild as they clap and cheer for you. You feel your body infused with a magic, a power. Followed by Cremie and Gricco, and Cremie, Gideon, all of you have the crowns placed upon your head and you immediately feel the charm of the monarch.

You can sprout a pair of beautiful butterfly wings. As long as you have the wings, you gain a flying speedy, to your walking speed and you gain a plus five bonus on all charisma-based ability checks. These effects last for one hour. After you use this charm three times, it vanishes from you. Nice. Is it concentration or anything? No. Is using it, is the charisma bonus just like stock? Or if we use like a boosting charisma, is that a use? You have to use specifically the charm of the monarch. So the charm of the monarch basically sprouts wings. You can fly for an hour you get plus five bonus to charisma ability checks and then after that hour

that fades okay okay okay so you get that bonus within that hour yeah it's three times like three times forever forever yes shit it's not cool I love consumables you hear the crowd begin to chant and cheer and mr. mr. which mr. which looks down at you and the floor is yours boy You want to make a speech, by all means. What a do, everybody. Ladies gentlemen, and all in attendance to have to be witch-like carnival.

We are carnivalo-cru, and we have been so graciously crowned as your four witch-light monarchs of the evening. And you know what? This night's really about us, but because we are so generous in spirit and mind, we are going to put on a show for you, How does that sound, everybody?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would say the crowd goes wild at that. You, your eyes dart to Mr. Witch, or to Mr. Light, and you can see that his eyes, he makes contact with Mr. Witch, almost looking for approval. Mr. Witch nods his head and he begins to step

backwards away from you, giving you the floor. How close is he? He's immediately standing right behind you. And that's where he's been for like the past. And first is in my top hat, I'll take off my crown. And first is the wonderful, mystical, spiritual, Grico Grimgram. Welcome to the stage.

Oh, yes. And I'm going to just sort of like walk back and kind of like just sort of stand next to Mr. Witch as if I'm just like kind of observing the show along with him. He'll look over at you. He tips his hat to you. And he's, uh, he's kind of leaning backwards almost. as if he's leaning up against a wall, but there's no wall behind him.

He's just a few steps behind the chairs now. And I'm not too close to him, I'm a few feet away. Yeah. I'm gonna step up, I'm gonna look at like, crammy and I'm like, no. Oh yes, I'm sure you have traveled all across a ventrish being such a well-dressed and cultured crowd. Who wouldn't travel internationally, right?

Come on, yes. Well... Who's from Canada? Oh, me! Oh, I've never been, but I hear that's quite a nice district in Goltega. And so... I'm from Bobbosm! Well, you... Oh, Bobplossum! Well, allow me, I've been to... I've been to Whippewa Wallow Swank. And there's a beautiful monstrosity, a creature, a bird.

that is the wallowing Whippoor Will, for which the swamp is named. And they love to eat butterflies, particularly monarch butterflies. I see nothing wrong by showing you this creature. Now behold, the wallowing Whippoor Will! And I will summon Beast again

as a flying, um, strange, gigantic-eyed bird. with an incredibly supernaturally large mouth. It looks very eerie, and it has a very soulless dead eyes. We'll fly out and we'll... How scary is this? It's pretty spooky.

It looks like it eats souls, but it just eats monarch butterflies. He's read the Dunwich horror by Biggie Blue Cray. The crowd screams. You see people jumping out of their seats and rushing towards the back. A bunch of A bunch of venue pixies Have to Have to kind of get people under control

And get them back into their seats You hear children crying Mr. Witch and Mr. Lee look a little nervous But they don't stop you. Is it like kind of menacing? So it looks menacing And then it swoops back And its eyes will lock

On the many, many monarch butterflies On Mr. Lights' crown No, it's not their crown, it's your crowns. Yeah, our crowns except the... Well, it will sort of swarm or fly around and look and basically start to go into a feeding frenzy and I will try to mime, oh, no Wilbur, no, no, no flies. His favorite snack!

How could this have happened? How could he... As this is happening, I'm speaking telepathically to Gideon, if that thing comes close to Mr. Witch to jump on him as if you're saving him and that'll be your... Cool, man. I don't think this is it yet.

We're a deception check. Crummy said I would know when this was the sign. This seems like, you know, I think this is like, I don't think it's begun yet. I'm giving you a new sign. Just tackle him if it gets close. No, that's not really a sign. You're just kind of telling me that this is it.

I don't think. I'm going to sign. I'm just, I'm going to. One more twist. One more twist. Second twist. A second twist. Disception?

Wait, can we increase charisma? I would ask that. That's the curse. Well, if you want. You can activate that. You could activate that. You could trigger them on our charm. Now, that's outrageous.

Yeah. Deception, he's a very perceptive fellow. Who? I'm gonna do it. Take it. So I'm an advantage? Or is there a plus to it? Plus five.

It's just a plus five. You only have three uses of them for all eternity. Yeah. Final, just rely on a 20. That's pretty good. Well, I rolled an eight, so yeah, that succeeds. Will, but. Will but...

On a butterfly? He just has a witch. No. You used two twists, yeah? Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, roll two 100. Oh, no, Mr. Witch, look out. Oh, my God, you summon the wrong thing.

Mr. Wiss, Mr. Lott, look out. It looks like you're about to be collateral damage. Because you use twists, so you walk the old tape. Yeah, this is not because we're not on it. This isn't a dread. I would like to, when the giant ethereal soul eater starts flying towards us, though it is very obviously coming straight at us

and not for them at all. I'd like to dive at Mr. Witch and try and tackle him. Oh, I'm saving you. Look out. Look out with that giant soul eater. And then if I can like flying tackle him. I rolled a dexterity saving throw and he fails.

So you're easily able to tackle him. Hey, look out, man. I got you right here. Don't even work. I, does it look like Mr. Light and Mr. but were they standing next to each other? No, Mr. Light is suspended. He's still Diamond's are a Girl's friend up there.

He's still Diamond's are a girl's best friend. Mr. Witch had stepped back, but he was next to Cremie. Cremie, I would also like you to make a dexterity saving throw to see if you get tackled as well. So I need to know your 100s first. 1685. 6D or? 6T and 85.

6D. I need to find my other D10. I just impact the same thing. Your teeth turn into hand. Oh, that's the six-dimensional Whippoorwill. Your childhood invisible friend appears to you in the room, but no one else can see it. And then what was the other one? 85.

Roll the natural 20, 24 for my decks. Can you roll another one? Oh, me? Yeah, because it's a once every year kind of thing. 39. You're feeling fun. 39. Oh.

No. No. You perish. in the mystery, Martin. Your fingernails begin to tell you short stories. No. Oh, no, my fingernails

are monologuing very poorly at me. Oh, no! This is even worse than fribble, rebel, grizzle-gruggle. Rick, I was freaking out. He's freaking out, and he's saying this, but this creature clearly isn't going

anywhere near for the winter, Mr. Light. It is, if it truly is... It's typical from the grizzle. Don't worry, Mr. Witch, I got you. I'd like to fly through the air, tackle him, get them onto the ground, and then you start, like, you know... Yeah, you were able to jump out of the way. You hear a...

As you slam into Mr. Witch, what on. You're doing, idiot. Don't even worry. My head, just stay down here. I'm going to keep you safe. I'd like to kind of, like, be on top of them, pin them down, and, like, you know,

give him a quit pack down, check the... You're rubbing all over at me, swatting at your hands. What on earth are you doing? Listen, I think this thing's attracted to dapper dressers, all right? Just hang on for a second. It's no, you're coming anywhere near me. No, it's right over us, all right?

Just don't look. Close your eyes. It's very scary. I'd like to try and find the watch and as quickly as I can get a sense of if I can use my for Lauren's dagger to, like, cut free just like a piece of, like, if it's attached to an inside pocket via like cloth or like the stitching on a button or something like that. Put it in his right pocket. And there is, if you notice on jeans, there's a tiny little pocket that was put there originally for pocket watches.

Yeah. And there is one of those sewn into, no, but it's sewn into his trousers. He has a little pocket watch. Okay, literally a pocket watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. And you see that some of the threads are exposed from the amount of times of taking it in and out

that it would be easy enough to, yeah, cut that. There's also a magnum condom inside. He dropped those on the floor. Yeah, I'll let them keep those. Oh man, he's back in here, fellas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do you buy you? This is a fog of watch.

Short range of a zoo. Yeah, oh, my God, am I bite me? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I need to just shut the fuck out. Oh, God, I got a trolley horse. Oh, fuck. I just kind of like shoulder smash. I try to block his range of vision as, you know,

I smash down. And as quickly and as definitely as I'm capable, I'd like to try and like separate out the pocket watch. Roll the side of hand. Frosty, I think you might've been right. This I think is it. I'm gonna try and separate the pocket watch. I'm not sure I might have fucked this up.

Just take it and hold it behind you. What a man? Just holding in my hands. My hand is right there. Hey, they just tell me to buy him dinner first. And I think, I don't know that this one. as the watch. I mean, I think he's getting, I think he's going a little bit. I think you might need to take this watch.

I don't know yet, I don't know yet, okay? Just be ready. I've got something in the pocket for you. Why don't you put your head in the fight and give it a street? What is you on me to do? Roll a sleight of hand. Okay, I believe I roll it at advantage. Save me little, but save me from Frist and Frist and Flippo Gugel. And then the Soul Eater Whippoor Will, the Wallowing Whippoor Will,

will try to dive by wherever for bull crabble griggle all right I'm gonna use a twist I'm gonna use a twist there we go that's a bad idea roll a D100 for me just really I'm gonna use one more twist that's really not a good opening thumbnail I think you need to reword it oh god 21 21 or two D100s for me first oh no this is going so well 75 yeah you can tell the truth all the time don't you 32. You can play this game for a long time.

You don't need, you can just say he said or she said. You don't need to have- Wait, 32? 32, 75, 32. You don't need to have synonyms for said. Oh, he's not a fake character. Rule, oh, I'll just use this. 50 would be if I roll again.

Okay, 50. Thank you, glass Joe so much for those bets. And thank you for the race. You must give, you must consistently give yourself a pep talk. And then 50? Perfect. What? 50.

50. Yeah. You're like breathing in us here. Okay, Gary. You can cut this strand, you can steal the bottom water no over, I'll blame it over. Hold on.

All right, champ, you got this. All right, we can make this happen. I can get this from him. I can get it off of them. You've got it, yes. Yes, just take it, just take it and hold it down. No, you can't. I'm just speaking out loud.

I didn't mean to do this. I can hear everything you're saying in my mind. I didn't mean to indicate to you that I was speaking in your mind. I meant to, you know, just like freak out a little bit. You lose two letters of your name. Your name is now Gionn. Come on, Gionn. Come on, buddy, you got this.

Just kick him down, pin them right down. Get that watch off him. I mean, fuck, can you hear me? Yes, yes. Not you don't talk to Mr. Witch. Fuck, can you hear me? Come on, Gion. You got it, man.

I hear it both. Oh, God, this is so confusing. You're literally right behind. But you are able to, you are able to sever that little watch pocket and you see that where the chain is connected to is the pocket itself. And so by removing the pocket, you are able to remove the watch and the chain itself from Mr. Witch's person. And though you are giving yourself a pep talk, Mr. Witch is fighting against you. He doesn't seem to be paying attention to what you're saying. And I would say because you're in proximity to him, you can.

tell that he is communicating in some way to Mr. Light. And he is focused so much on what he's trying to get across to Mr. Mr. Light that he doesn't hear the ramblings of the madman that's on top of them. And you are able to, through sheer chap support, you're able to get the pocket wash off of Mr. Webb. All right, Dionne. Just use the mouse wheel.

What? You hold it up behind you. As soon as it's free and I see it or get a sense of that you're doing this, my hand is right there ready to sloop that out and rocket it away. Frosty, it's me, Guillon. What? There's no time for questions. It's me, Guillain.

I need to take this. Are you ready to go? Yes. Come on, my dad. I'm ready for three minutes. Come on. We've got to make this happen, all right? I know we can't, okay?

Hold it out. Hold it out. You can make this happen. You got to get it in the right spot. You got a sweet spot it. He's going to get it from you. Everything's going to go fine, all right? You got this.

You got this. Geyon! And then I hold it out. As soon as he does, I'll just use my mage hand action to manipulate an object, pick it up, and I'm going to keep it as low and close to the bodies as possible. Do I see it? And hover it and just get it, like, right up your leg.

I would like you to roll a sleight of hand for me, please. A slide of the mage hand. Geyon, wasn't that what a Mr. Gouroo's Bollywugs? They're all that, lard. Fricle fredgel, griggle, greggle. Do you think Mr. Light and Mr. Witch are going through, Mr. Watch are going through the same thing that we're going through?

Like, Mr. Light, do you think that they noticed that are body swapped? I would say, I would think Gideon gets a very good idea that they're doing the exact same thing that you guys. Oh, you mean whether they're getting like body swam and stuff? They're getting faked and they're having their own fucking problems. Like, this is why everything's chaos. 18.

No twists for Derek. Yeah, you are able, even though it seems that Mr. Light is watching what's going on, he hasn't. made an emotion to react. The crowd is calming down from their screams. They seem to believe what the Pixies that are working this venue, the venue Pixies, what they're telling them that this is all part of the show.

And because Mr. Light isn't reacting, everyone's calming down, and they're unsure of what performance this really is, but they're watching and there's slight clapping. The watch will lift out of Gideon's hand. It's not invisible. It's being held by an invisible force I'm using with my telekinetic mind. And kind of like the tiny UFO robots

from the really classic film, batteries not included, they'll zip down. Wow. And it'll zip down and staying close to the floor. And then on your left, Grammy, you see it coming straight up the, and right into your hand, you barely even have to move. High five, done.

Mr. Light, you see that he was staring at he was his eyes were moving between gideon and and and grico and the two of you and as you pull the watch away the lights catch on it and you see as his head turns and he immediately draws his attention to the watch and his eyes follow it as it goes into cremese hand and you see him for just a second spin his weather vein around and he his face gets very somber and he begins to clap. That was a brilliant show, wasn't it? Everybody celebrate the show.

And the crowd starts to clap and cheer. And Grico, you see as his eyes linger on you and you hear in your head, it's time to stop the show, Grico. Do I have time to do anything? You have time to hold on to the pocket watch. I will, basically, I'm gonna take a couple steps. Okay, so I'm in action.

Well, I mean, if he's doing that, can you like, is there something you can do where you, like, sloop it away? Send it into the fifth dimension. DM says he doesn't have an action. Yeah, I don't know that can't know. What would you like to do? I would like to go invisible.

You can do that? I'll basically kind of want, as soon as I get it and I grab it, I'm going to take two steps back, kind of like, and just sort of fade into the shadows and then just disappear. And you see as crummy disappears, but something crummy,

who's holding does not. And where Crummy stands, you firmly see a pocket watch and a chain. Is? And I will say you would hear in your head, I've got true side, friend. I know you've got my watch.

Is that Mr. Wals? Yeah. Oh, shit. Do I... I would say it is very clear to you. They are quickly trying to wrap up the carnival. None of them is,

Neither one of them is making any motion to attack you or do anything. They're trying to move things along because they now realize you have one of their items. Thank you, Grego. Are you, are you all right? Are you right? Am I still affected by my life? Your paranoia? No, that was gone. No, no, but fribble, frable, grizzle gruggles here. I forgot those. Your imaginary. I'm not running to help break out.

With the flick of the wall, with the flick of the weatherday, Mr. Light got rid of your fake curses. Oh! Oh, the contra-curs- It is very clear that upon seeing that Mr. Witch no longer had the pocket watch, he is keeping his composure very precariously and is trying to get things under control as quickly as possible. He looks like a man who is watching everything completely fall apart, but is still trying to gain some semblance of control over the situation.

As he continues to spin on his silken strand, he calls out, and with that, we have crowned our monarchs. Let us give them a round of applause. And the crowd begins to cheer and yell, but it's a strange, it's a strange bit of clapping and enjoyment. People, their hearts are not in it. They don't fully understand what's going on. There was a monster that came out that scared them and a lot of screaming. And the three of you just sitting in your chairs,

like nothing was happening. Mr. Witch being tackled. Mr. Light just suspended. All of it, though it only happened over a small amount of time. It was very strange to them. And how it succeeded is really just chat. Thank you, Jack. And the crowd.

There's nothing good about what we did. And the crowd is just as flabbergasted. as the DM as they begin to clap. And Mr. Light continues to speak. I unfortunately have one change to the schedule tonight. And that is, there will be no final parade. Instead, we will have Palasha the Mermaid performing a lovely serenade out on the parapet of something.

because there's going to be a parapet. There's a parapet out there. There's a fair bed out there. And you can see, kind of is communicating. And she will be singing you out into the night. So for me, Mr. Witch and our four monarchs, we thank you for joining us at the Witchlight Carnival this year, and we hope to see you in the future.

May you have luck and always be happy. the music swells and you begin to hear the sounds of Pulasha the Mermaid singing somewhere out into the night as people begin to get up and they begin to talk and the joy begins to return to them as they all begin to file out of the of the big top and make their way out of the out of the carnival proper as all of you remain on the stage Mr. Witch and Mr. Light make no motion. to do anything additionally. Mr. Light still hangs suspended in the air. Mr. Witch is still on the ground beneath Gideon, but he is no longer struggling. And there is a relative silence on the stage until the very last person leaves

and the lights go dim, and you feel Mr. Light push against you. Oh, I mean, yeah. The thing's gone, yeah, sorry. Hey, you okay? You get attacked by that giant, you know, except his cousin. Wilbur's okay. He's okay.

See, he's not chittering. He didn't get your soul. It's okay. It's okay. Yeah, you see, Wilbur almost had your soul, man. I mean, it's lucky we were here. So, you know, well, I guess actually because- He sits up and he begins to brush himself off.

He's not saying anything. He looks furious. His face is bright red. And he is, he looks. Looks like he has a lot of words that he wants to say, but he is holding them back as he's trying to gain his composure. And you hear the soft footsteps behind you as Mr. Light walks up onto the stage.

Well, you got what you want. I will walk up and I'll drop into the ability and I'll sort of spin the pocket watch around on the chain a little bit and I'll grab it. You know, Franz? What are we gonna have to do to get that watch back from you? You know you can't walk out of here with it We can't let you

I know you can And I'm hoping that You'll be amenable to cutting a deal I don't want this And I know you do But you have something that we want What is it that you want, Kremila crew? We know

What you have going on here We know everything You think you know everything Well, we certainly don't know everything We know a lot And we know that somewhere in this carnival is a cross into Prismere and you're going to tell us where it is.

You're going to get us into Prismare and then you're going to have your pocket watch back. Oh, and you're going to free his owlbear. Yeah, let me bargain for Hootsie. Wait, I don't have an owlbear. You don't need to... Shut up. The witchlight hands

are not... We believe that the... some member of the carnival has taken our friend's pet Hootsey and stolen his memory of the Who? We know about the missing children. We know about the missing carnival witchelot hands. We know about the missing owlbear.

And we know that you're in league with the hags that are taken on. Are you not? He looks very confused. at the missing owl bear. When you say the missing children, roll an inside check. Maybe also tell them, like, once it's all settled, they can't, like, you know,

take vengeance against us immediately or something. Like, you got to write that in, you know? Oh, yeah. Have him sound something. They get to watch back and just, like, you know, turn us to dust. Oh. At the mention of Hootsie seems genuinely perplexed.

Hmm. The kids, however, you can see a look of sadness and guilt on his face. And at the mention of hags, you can clearly see that there is a sense of fear. That is not something we speak about here. But what I can say is whatever stolen

always finds its way into Prismere. Well, then how do we get into Prismere as well? That's all it's going to take. I just have to get you into Prismere and you'll give Mr. Witch back his bugger watch. If you know how to get back from Prismere to here, we'd have that secret as well before we give you that watch. That's not a secret I carry with me,

nor is it one that Mr. Witch carries with him. If you plan to travel into Prismere, you must know getting back is going to be up to you. We want to know what happened to Zibuna, two. I know you know. I can see it. In your eyes,

all four of them, there's two of you, and you each have two eyes. Is he a detriment to anything that you try to get accomplished? Just about everything. Well, he's been described that way, yeah.

To be fair, it was Martian Antigants the legend of this, Paul. Yeah, got to give him. Hey, hey. Who would you be a good one. We're good little buddy. It was an little actual audio static, like an amp. Yeah.

We still called ape escape? No. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, he used kind of like a soul gorge. Yeah, you got a... That's actually the name, though. I made up the whole upper world thing. It's a sole soul gorgia.

Oh, shit. Oh, real. Wait, did that thing of eating our souls? You want to find your way into prismia, or do you want a chit-chat? Oh, right. I'd like to find a way in the prison. We'd also like to know about Jabuna. If I knew what had happened to Sabinna, I would do what I can to help her.

The information I can give you is, without her, the carnival is suffering. She was our patron. She was your patron. I thought you took her a carnival from her. And you run some other carnival and take over her carnival? Is that all? The Bielness Carnival? Yeah.

I don't know what you're talking about, son. Oh, shit. You have to understand, Mr. Laitai. We, our very lines are at risk. That's why we came to this carnival. We had to break one of your rules of etiquette in order to get the watch because it sounds like we could have probably just asked and talked to you.

And that perhaps our... That were... We could be great allies. But we couldn't take that risk. We must get into Prismere. And sealing the pocket watch, seemed to be the only solution. I'm deeply sorry.

I'm disappointed in you, Frost. You could have just asked. Wait a minute. You could have had another cupcake, and you could have just asked. I thought that we had built something special here, you and me. And when I say patron,

I mean like a patron, like Patreon, a patron of the carnival, not like a warlock patron. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'll get it. Because I thought that there might be some confusion. Yes. We have to understand that based on what's going on, we aren't going to presume that y'all are nice fellas. And even if you are nice, fellas, we have a feeling like y'all are being blackmailed.

Additionally, we weren't sure how caught up you are in the mystery of the missing children and some of the other strange things that seem to be happening to the employees of this carnival. They're letting it happen. Yeah. They're turning a blind eye because you're beautiful. being extorted by gross haggisloxed scapefair. The witch-like coven. We couldn't make any assumptions,

and for that I apologize. You see that at the names, you can see disgust across his face. But just like you noticed prior, he seems to not have the ability to speak about this. Anytime he attempts to, he is, it's almost as if he is, magically inclined to just be quiet.

And anything pertaining to the hags he does not speak on. Well, if I have your promise that I, if I take you to the entrance to Prismere, you will relinquish the pocket watch, then you have a deal. But that's all I can do for you. All I can do is get you to Prismere. Anything that happens beyond. That's going to be up to you. What about bringing back Pearlie's brother?

Anything that's lost finds its way into Prismere. Is that what Toolbeck went? Our worst friend. He does smell quite a bit like piss. Perhaps you recall. Anything that is lost finds its way into Prismia. Well, isn't really lost. You kind of like captured him and sent him to some kind of prison for pests.

But a normal kind of pest, you know. I feel like y'all ain't bad chaps. You know, everyone always says, Grico, you're a terrible judge of character. You ignore all of the red flags. You get yourself into real bad situations when you trust the wrong people. I thought, oh, Cremie's a good lad.

I mean, here we are. I feel like you're all right chaps. He's got us there. I feel like you're all right chaps. And the only reason frosted to you because I'm like they're good chaps. But I feel like you guys don't mean to be doing all the bad stuff.

Why don't you just stop? Have you just thought about not doing it? Come on, like why? You know? The witch-like carnival means a lot to us. It's all we have. It's far better than where we came from. And I'm not inclined to go back to where we were.

Who's doing that carnival? Can you tell us? If you can. no worries, just curious. That is a name I'd like to keep close to my chest. What I'd like to offer is that it feels like you fellas on a real bind and that you got sort of wrapped up into a situation, one thing led to another. Trust me, I've been there.

And I know you can't speak of it, but I think we could provide our services while we're in prison men. They don't have to cut a deal now, but if we were to free y'all of the three that are causing you haven't. It'd just be nice to get a little bit of compensation. Should you return from Prismia hold and of your own volition, you will always be welcome at the Witchfly Carnival. That's all I can say for now. Even after we tricked you with a really good plan and fooled you.

I'm sorry. Normally our plans don't work, so I just, you know, I'm feeling pretty... I should feel bad about it. It's a really good plan, so, you know. Well, anyways, we do. I'll think you guys are all right checks, frankly, and I'll feel like we want to help you. I mean, uh, uh, Cremys, uh, patron is from where you's fellas are, and you know he probably can pull some connections but to be fair isn't crammy's patron also

the one who's funding the guy who's trying to kill us from all the gold and we share a patron that's what you mean yeah that's yeah i mean it feels like it's a kind of nebulous situation anyways we can help we're going to murder scabber and her sisters he recoils every time you say the name oh sorry i mean i do and her gross we're going to make sure we kill all those little frog guys too I'm trying to think about the list of things. That's what I see. I'm trying to vet for you, Kremi. Hey, we're just crummy.

Normally I'll juggle, but, you know, I can't juggle because it'll disrupt poor Wilbur here. Oh, you're a cutie. Well, hey, I got two questions if you're trying to think of something. Question one, when we showed up here, there's somebody out front of your carnival who had their wings rip right off and died in front of us. You know anything about that? Someone's going around stealing fairy wang, says, somebody came through and, well, you remember what they say?

Somebody came through, it's all the wings. Yeah, and then she said it was a hymn, and she couldn't talk about it, and she died, and it was very sad. Yeah. What's that all about? Mr. Light looks down at Mr. Witch, and both of them look completely baffled. I've heard of no such thing. We don't leave the carnival. Once we set it up, we stay inside of it.

The only people who leave it are the Witchlight Hands. All the fake creatures. the pixies, the trients, the sadas, they all stay inside. Is it possible that one of the witchlight hands took one of the pixies out there and did this horrible atrocity? It's a possibility. Is there a reason you can think of that one of your witchlight hands would have wanted their wings?

Would that have benefited them in any way at the carnival? No. It would have benefited them in Prismair. Maybe they're trying to steal something and the wings will flap them all the way in the prismere because stolen stuff goes to prisoner or lost stuff. This is not something I can give you an answer to now.

Something I'm going to have to look into. I am. He looks at Mr. Witch. We're going to have to question the wishlight hams. He nods. All right, second thing. You made these crimes? He smiles.

No. Who made this? This is a fair bit of engineering. They are relics. From the Faye Wild to Tate. I think of engineers in the Faye Wild, you see how these butterflies move? What's how a samifflage they use for this? I have no idea what a samoflange is.

You know what heat treatment they use to meld the metal like this? I've never seen it come to life in this way. It's impressive. It's a bolt from the sun itself. Holy shit, I gotta get me one of those. You're kidding me? I think it's just magic, you know? They don't have to explain shit.

You know, look at this engineering. You think if I could crack the code on this, I could build a little. some crazy shit, man. Well, yeah, I mean, we can make even better rides if you figure out what's going on. You know what, good? Maybe that can be one of your like side-quoise. Holy smokes.

While we're fucking off in the farewell. You can. Are you ready to give us back through. Oh, right. Hold on. Gosh, I keep forgetting what doing this. What is the strange force or delirium that is seemingly warping reality in our minds

and our persons, but seemingly not affecting Are we being targeted by the grublin? Or otherwise? I think what Grigo's trying to say is that there's been a great swell of impossible illusions and charms and emotions and the time that we've been here. What should have felt like five hours has felt like 15 weeks almost. I'm exhausted in my mind, but my body is only just starting to get tired. Is this going to continue in Prismere?

Is this a Faye Wild curse, or is this just an effect of the carnival? Help us understand. And all those people! I did feel that you were more susceptible to Faye magic than the others were. And it seems that is the case. Maybe you are destined to Prismia. But yes, this carnival is of the Faye itself. The magic that puts it all together is fairy in nature.

And there is a... entrance to Prismia that's directly in this place, which means the magic of the fay leaks out in small amounts. Every single day the carnival is here. It's at its strongest on the eighth day, and those that are susceptible to it tend to be the ones that deal with it the most, though if I've been watching you as closely as I think I have, I have never seen it manifest so strongly in anyone before in my life.

Good luck in Prismian. That's not good news, no. Maybe you'll adapt. Maybe it'll kill you. He is open. I endeavor to strengthen my mind against these curses. No. Okay.

Larkly story, but you guys are all right, chaps, and I'm a good judge of character. Take us to the portal, and we'll exchange the watch. And no revenge. Can you have him saw in? Yeah, yeah, come on, man. Work that in. Can you work that in? That just seems offensive.

I mean, these are not. Just having them saw in something. We're aligned in our goals. If we succeed in our mission, I think that very likely we'll be helping out Mr. Watch and Mr. Light. Who? Mr. Watch. You see Mr. Witch looks very upset.

I have been. Because he's got the watch. Just because he has a watch doesn't mean he, you know. Frost has been saying witch at the entire time. Derek fucked up. All I'm saying is we've been in this conversation with them for all of like 30 seconds after we robbed them, you know? Maybe just like we don't have to assume positive intent. Considering what has happened, they, Mr. Light especially, is being very chill.

I know. It's very serious, pizious. Just like, come on. Let's be like, hey, just don't immediately, you know, murderate us. I don't have to make you sign anything. Is that right? Oh, God. Can I trust you all?

Just man to man. I think you've a problem that we can take care of, and we will. In an exchange, we would ask that... And as I said, if you are to succeed and you make your way back here, God, I can't... Every time he talked to me, it's like Kelsey. It's like when she does Farron. He essentially tells you, I'm going to cop out,

he essentially tells you because he can't say certain things, his way of agreeing with you is to say, If you make your way back here on your own accord, which means that you have succeeded, it is then that you are welcome back at the Witchlight Carnival. Because you have done something kind for them, they would then be open to talks to you

about anything additional or whatever. So if I were to get, do an insight check, that's what I would gather. I would say I'm not going to make, he is not trying to be deceptive. Look, fellas, I trust these guys. And I know that, you know, it's a bit strange of a situation.

but I think we have some kind of understanding. We needed to get inside. We didn't know what was what. I agree. And I think we can help him. So I'm not going to make him sign anything. I'm not going to make him promise, you know, with their fingers crossed or whatever to not double crosses.

I would agree with that assessment. And our numerous experiences with just Mr. Light tonight, you know, he's been quite forthcoming. Yeah. Well. What was that? I guess. What was that? Was that in the trailer?

I guess if Miss Kitty Whiskers thinks these guys are all right chaps, I trust her. For some reason, I don't know. I feel like, you know, something important, but I do trust I displace a beast's wisdom.

It's the same we didn't have time to go on an adventure with her. We almost plan on the whole thing. I know. Well, perhaps we'll be back. and if there is another carnival, we can platinum that one too. Well, we can't platinum that one too.

We didn't platinum this one. It implies we can platinum the first one, which is incorrect. Which is the best kind of correct. Lead the way. All right, yeah, let's get the prison here. Mr. Witch, or Mr. Light walks over to Mr. Witch and gives him his hand,

and he helps his friend to his feet, and they begin to walk forward, silence. They do not make effort to talk to you as they make their way out of the big top, you following closely behind. And you see that though the lights are still on, that which light hands are milling about. No one's pulling things down. It doesn't look like there's. This isn't your typical carnival where now that it's over and the crowd has completely left that all the lights go off and everything gets torn down, they're just reveling in Merriman as they're spending time together. It's like the Saturday night after the Renaissance Fair closes and all the workers

are just having a good time. None of them seem to bother you. They don't look towards you. It's almost as if they were alerted that you'd be in the care of Mr. Witch and Mr. Lighten to not get involved. But they continue their merriment as you make your way through the thoroughfare of the carnival. And it feels strange and different, not being packed with happy people, the sounds of laughter. And you notice now no longer the sounds of the calliope. It is just the sounds of the evening. As you make your way through and you eventually make your way towards the Hall of Illusion. And as you pass the, as you pass the cabinet outside that housed the mannequin of of Tasha.

You see that where there should have been Candlefoot the Mime, there is no one sitting there. This place is completely quiet and completely empty. And you make your way inside. As witch and light move through the hall of illusions,

the reflections in the mirrors show them as gloomy, shatter Kai children, with your own youthful reflections falling behind. Soon, they call you to a halt. The mirrors now reflect everyone's true age. Mr. Witch addresses you in a hush tone. Everything you seek and more lies beyond this mirror. If you mean to step through, then stand in front of the glass and repeat this rhyme.

Hither, thither, here and there, wander yonder, show me where. And both Mr. Witch and Mr. Light move to the side. As you are standing in front of the mirror that you remember from being in here, the one that was firmly affixed to the wall, the one where you remember seeing the, half-ling man disappear into after he had been turned down by his or after he had been laughed at by his fiancee and it looks like a normal mirror they both stepped the side across their arms I would like to say it was nice meeting you but sorry it's not Mr. Witch's voice but he's

frustrated and he says that mr. light says I did however, enjoy meeting you. You especially crossed. If you do what you say you're going to do, I hope there are many more cupcakes in our future. He smiles at you, a warm smile. It was a pleasure, Mr. Light. Oh, let's go in for a hug.

There's no need to shake. He opens his arms. Thank you. He embraces you, and he rubs your back a little bit. The hug feels like it lasts a little longer than you'd normally expect. But he pulls away and smiles down at you. I was going to say that I still have my ticket left and it still has a few spaces left.

For this final ride, would you punch my card one last time? He smiles and you see a twinkle in his eye. I would be happy to frost and he takes the card from you and he punches the last two holes and he hands it back to you. All right. I'm not gonna be last, if you don't mind. Oh yeah, man, I'll go second. Would you let me know when the Fay-packed magic wears off?

Faye-packed magic? For me, Hootsie and the flower crown and the unicorns. Yep, yep, you will know. One last unicorn ride. I guess I'll go first. How does that sound? No one's stuck me. I would propose that Cremie you go last.

and just make your hand the last thing that travels through the portal. And you'll drop the watch here, and we'll all be there when you get across the other side. All right? Yeah. Well, I don't know. Maybe you should go first? I would like to go first, yes. Yeah. That seems not the right decision.

I'll be there when you get on to the other side, Grico. I feel better if you go first, Frosty. I'm a little nervous. I don't know why. And do I just walk through? You stand in front of it, you say the rhyme, and you are able to walk through. I repeat the rhyme and I pull my hood up. Frost knows it. Does he?

Yeah. You got to say it, Fras. You got to say it, hither, thither, here and there, wander yonder, you know where. Did I write that down? Jesus. I'm terrible, terrible, intelligent player. Hither, thither, yonder, yair.

Here and there. Here and there. Here and there. Wander, yonder, show me where. Wander, wander, wander. Wander. Wander, yonder, yonder. Hither, thither, and yons.

I'll go first. Fuck. If you want me to read it off, write it now. I just want the first person to go through to read it. Hither, thither, here and there. Wander yonder, show me where. Miss begins to swirl in the mirror as your reflection is blotted out

and you see in front of you what looks like just a thick blanket of fog. As you put your hand up to the mirror, what once had been a solid glass surface is now no longer solid. Your hand can pass through it. You feel a warm air, a moist air on the other side.

All right, boys. See on the other side. I'll make sure nothing dangerous is out there. I don't know. Or I'll be dead when you come over. Be quick about it. It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

What is this? It's a banana. I guess that's on you. A little potassium for the road. Okay, all right. Good luck. We'll see you soon. We'll be long for a second.

Yeah, yeah. No, like, really long. Stand the goodbyes, all right? Come on. Hey, Mr. We start for attacking him, man. He reaches out his hand to shake yours. Oh. And he shakes your hand.

Good look. Yeah, thanks. Be safe, Keith. Yeah. You guys, you know, be safe over here. Don't want to revenge you, right? Honestly, it makes the most sense that Gideon would go first, because if there is a trap with big monsters,

Gideon can punch it to death and you'll finally get to kill something. Oh, gosh. Okay, no, I'm excited. Show me where. All right. Intentionally cue something. I charge through the mirror. You do.

Yeah. Gion makes his way through the mirror. You watch as Gideon disappears into the fog. Well, it looks like it work. Who's next? You didn't scream. I'm on my way. And I will.

No, no, scream. I'll turn and I will simply walk through hood up. I have to say in the problem. Yes. Perfect. I only made one person do it. Flawlessly. I just wanted one person to do it.

Ah, good boss. Frosty is dangerous to go alone. Take this. Benannia. Benannia. Bonagna. Bonagna. And with my guidance in hand, I will step to the portal.

You do. And with that, you watch as Frost disappears into the fog. Good luck, Frosty. Hiv-h-h-wh-wh-whither, I'll walk up to it, hither, hiv-ver. This is gonna take a while. I'm sorry. This has been very difficult to say to hold. Wait a minute!

Can I add one more amendment? Can I make a request? One request. These are just verbal agreements. You gonna ask them. I might. Mr. Witch, Mr. Lott, you guys are all right. Blokes, we understand your predicament.

We are also in a predicament with bad people. so we understand, we don't judge you morally. There happens to be a snail that works at your carnival. The snail is blue of colour. And it's quite the speed demon, the speed mollusk, so to speak. I think given that it's so fast, I believe it to be a monstrosity and not there's any snail. and he and I have a lifelong bond I feel in my heart. I was wondering if he was willing to come with us.

If it's a wrong with you. Yeah, he'll be on his way. He's fast. He, Mr. Witch thinks, or Mr. Witch looks down at you with a scowl. Mr. Light smiles a bit. And he says, if you, exit this room immediately and stop talking. I will make sure to get snail number two to you.

Yes! I'll take it. Thank you. Thank you. Snail number two will join carnivala crew. Wilbur, I need to leave you here. Wah!

I know you flew with us the whole way. I said if you stopped shooting immediately. Okay, I'm sorry. I just wanted to say it's hard. I know that it's just a spirit beat. It's hard every time. Okay, I'll see you when I come summon you next. Okay.

Here and there. Line. Wander yonder, yonder. Show me where. Line? With much hair. Show me where. With much hair.

Cremie. Oh, what? Show me there. Show me where. Hiver, here and there. Wander, yonder, yonder. Show me there. Show me where?

Show me where. Now you gotta read the whole thing. Hiver! You know what? It's a lot of pleasure. Bonagna. Hiver, Viver. Here and there.

Wander yonder, yonder. Show me where. And you were able to make your way through the mirror. You watch as all three of your friends proceed into what you imagine to be the Faye Wild. As long as that's, That is really where this portal goes. Oh, no.

And then they bum rush you. I'll walk up to the mirror. Here, there, there, here and there, wander yonder, show me where. The mist begins to swirl. Your reflection fades. You see in front of you. Just thick cloud of fog.

I will turn around, and I'll say, gentlemen. It's been a pleasure. I have been Cremantle Lucreux. We have been Carnivala crew. I love unicorns. And y'all owe me one, and I'm going to put the pocket watch in Mr. Witch's hands and sort of like shake it.

And I'll back up through the mirror. And he holds on to your hand for just a moment longer. And he says, mine the rule of three. Future present past. And then Mr. Light reaches out and grabs your hand. And he says, Find the alicorn and free the dormant queen at last. And then they both let you go as you fall through the mirror.

What is it mean? An alacoon. Why is one of my teeth me missing? As I fall through the mirror. You all experience this as you fell through. You step into the mist or into the fog and it is thick and it is warm. warm and the smell of dying earth hits your nostrils. This is not what you expected stepping into the Faywild.

You expected the magic that you had seen inside of the Witchlight Carnival, but this is different than anything that you had ever seen before. As the fog begins to clear, you find that you are in a place that you hadn't expected. You stand staring out at a massive swamp land. Gideon, you land first, followed by Frost. Who comes just seconds after you, because if no time is past at all, immediately, Grico, you land huffing and puffing on the ground. It is this mossy, wet stone beneath your feet. And as you begin to breathe in this air, a sorrow overtakes you. The memory of Hootsie fills your mind. That moment she was taken from you.

You know that she is gone. You know who she is, and how important to you she was. And you know that she was at the carnival, the carnival you just left without her. As Cremie steps through the fog, stumbles on you for a moment as he came in backwards. Gotcha, buddy. Slips a little bit on the stone,

but you all catch your bearings as you look out. You stand at the edge of a raised and broken causeway under a hazy twilight sky. The causeway, which is built from pale stones that glow faintly from within, towers over the surrounding landscape, but large sections of it have crumbled away. The parts that remain in place are separated by large,

gaps where portions have collapsed. A fog-shrouted swamp spreads out below you in all directions, and up from its murk wafts the smell of rotting plants. Also rising from the swamp is the music of nature, a discordant symphony of croaking frogs and singing birds. You're going to be all right. You're going to be all right, Grico. Oh yeah, that's gone. The god's not even though Hootie was gone. Wait, hold on. I touched my hair. I love tour back. Oh, thank God. I'm real sorry about Hootsie. I really am. We're going to get her bank. You understand?

Cabafah! Yes. Listen, we know one thing now. Everything that gets taken goes to Prismere. That's where we are. Hoots has got to be here, man. We'll track her down. Don't they know the free rules of Prismia and the witch-like carnival? equal or lesser value. And Hootsey is priceless.

So no matter what they would give me, even a very nice mention with a pool, very nice paintings inside, and a lot of gold is still wouldn't be enough. They would suffer the consequences. Well, I mean, with a pool?

You're a team. With a pool even, also. Much better than I anticipated, Grico. What if there were like a few marble statues? Yeah, I mean, what if there was like a hot tub or something, man? I mean, that's pretty good. Full of staff kitchen. Oh, my gosh.

With the works? Yeah, the works. You can put the order in whatever you want. No. No. No. Oh, she's probably so scared. She hasn't had a rat snack in so long.

Oh, that's your favorite. Oh. And this little pumpkin. Oh, and she wasn't even the witch lord princess or queen. She's going to be so sad. Oh, or failed. We'll be back to the carnival, and we can all try again. We can do it.

All we have to do is find our way through this strange swamp and get our bearings, and we'll be able to rescue her, and you'll be reunited again. Oh. Is there any connection that you have that, or way that you can sense where she is? Is there something in your magic that allows you to do that? I mean, she always loved when I would play the ocarina, this little, and I'll pull out basically a carved wooden ocarina that's the source of a lot of my spiritual magic, and it's humming with kind of this blue spirit light.

And I'll say, I mean, that's, you know, we would get separated, I would just play a little note, and she'd always come running, but I'll give it a try. and I'll play a very soft, almost like lullaby type tune. And after the final note, kind of final note comes out, I'll hold on to it longer than the tune should. And I'll just wait. I roll a perception check, please.

Ooh, 20. You listen. And there is a wind. It is a slow wind here. It's heavy with fog. and thick with the sounds of the swamp all around you, and you listen. You hear nothing abnormal at first. It's faint.

It feels far away, but you hear Hootsie, and she is clearly in pain. Do any of us hear it? No. We're coming, Hootsie! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Come on! Come on, fellas! Got the trail. Follow it. You are standing on top of a giant's causeway. It is gigantic.

And you, the fog, or the fog is so thick up here. You are at least 50 feet above the ground on this thing. I don't want to show you the full map, but you are on this causeway here. You can see that it's kind of broken. Oh, it's the bridge from Shadow of Colossus. Yeah, it's a gigantic. It is a golden ring. It's a gigantic bridge.

You can see where parts of it have fallen away and it doesn't connect anymore. But there's no way to just run forward on it. You are looking down the sides and you see that though your vision only extends 10, 15 feet ahead of you because of how thick the fog is, you are able to see that there are these beautiful bioluminescent step mushrooms attached to the edge of this stone. And it's going to take a while, but you should be able to travel down the step mushrooms to get to the swamp floor. Easy there, Grippo. Look, she's been gone for a few hours now. We can take a time so we don't die. All right?

Just take a deep breath. You're right. I should take a deep breath. Do do, do, do, do. And I'm going to turn into like a horrible monster spider. Oh, Jesus. And the back of the carapace is like, is this shimmering gold,

and it looks like a skull, and I'm gonna go, and I'm just gonna start skittering down the wall as fast as I possibly can. Well, holy shit. Don't lose him, I'll be right behind you. I wanna see what I can survey very quickly, where probably not gonna be up at this high in for some time, I imagine. What I will say is,

You cannot see more than like 15 feet in front of you because of the fog. We just sort of get a sense that there's like a swamp. You can hear the sounds of the swamp. You can smell the sounds. I cast clear fog. Okay. Go ahead. It's an eighth level spell.

Yeah, I cast it. Great. You fail. Grico, you turn into the spider. You begin to scale down and you hear hootzy on the wind again. It draws your attention. As you look out, you see that bits of the fog have shifted. And in the distant sky, you spot a great balloon made of patchwork material.

It spins out of control as though punctured, causing the wicker basket that hangs from it to swing wildly. The balloon plunges out of sight, disappearing into the fog approximately a mile away. And I would say with your perception role, you were able to determine that inside of that basket was Hootsie. I will, once I get down to the bottom of this, this monster spider, I will,

I will say, Oh, Hootie! Pop was coming, Pop was coming, Pop was coming! And I'm going to play a little tune that almost sounds like a bang of two different hounds at once, and I'll once again shape into a spiritual, and it was a spiritual spider in a spirit form of a death dog,

a two-headed death dog or like Cerberus type thing. And I'm just gonna be bolt as fast as I possibly can. By yourself. Yeah. We wouldn't be able to keep up with the spider climbing and the sprinting. I'm trying to be right behind him, but yeah. I was pretty...

I'm in the back because I was trying to get a sense of where... Yeah. The three of you are able to climb down at a relatively normal pace as you're walking, jumping from step mushroom to step mushroom to step mushroom. Grigo, stay with us. Grigo, come back. You're going too fast.

We're losing you. Are you just yelling that out or are you telepathic that? I'm yelling it out. I'm presuming that I am losing my friend and I want to get his attention. I don't know if one moment. That's an action. Telekinetic speech. he would have had to have been within 30 feet of me

for me to engage him in until he left to him. So I would be shouting because he would be well beyond me. Would I be able to hear that? I would say for the sake of it, yeah. I would like to listen to see if it sounds like Hootzey's getting closer. And I will think back, I would like to see as I approach and maybe because I will like to sniff

and see if I see if I see if I see. smell Hootzie too. With my nose, I'm using the Wolf stat block. So what I will say is you don't hear Hootsey anymore. You've heard Hootsey all of twice. Once we played the first song, and she was coming from the direction that you can now tell the balloon had been. And then you heard her again as you saw the balloon pass. The balloon was clearly punctured. It's a hot air balloon. It was punctured. So you heard her as she was spinning through the air on this punctured balloon. and it went out of your vision about a mile away. You don't know where it's at.

You don't know whether it's continuing, whether it's crashed, or what's going on with that. All you know is that the balloon flew in a certain direction. So I will let out a loud bang howl as I will then see the balloon and I was try to run and run and run. And as I see the balloon get further and further and further away, as fast as faster than I can possibly run, I'll get tired and I'll just stop two of my heads panting in spectral form and I'm just going to lower my head and trot back to the group.

How the fuck did he go? As you reach the bottom. Man, he is ripping. And Grico, as you are able to do all of that before they even reach the ground and you find yourself sitting at the foot of these step mushrooms as your friends descend out of the thick layer of fog that is above you. And as you get to the ground, the sticky mud squelches beneath your feet. Tangled mangroves grow out of pools of rippling water, half hidden by the thick fog, and purple mushrooms cling to rotting logs and stumps scattered throughout the marsh. Crickets that glow like fireflies chirps serenely before they're snatched out of the air by the tongues of hungry frogs. Coming from one direction are several voices joined in a marching song.

The singing grows louder as sick. Bipetal rabbits wearing clothing emerged from the fog. Two of them tug at the reins of a giant snail and the other carrying clubs and slings. With sticks and stones will break your bones will beat you blind and steal your clothes but none among us can compare to one wily swift and stand up hair. Scoff that glorious thief notorious his deeds are truly maritime. With a wink and a grin, he'll show his cunning, a flash of his scoff, he'll take off running, quick as a bolt, his long scoff trailing, grasping, grasping, you'll end up flailing, your pouch, you'll moan, your huff, your sneer, thanks to Agden longscarf, brigand prince of prismere. And they all sing this, as all of a sudden you are all surrounded by these bipedal rapids, clearly herons, all bedecked in leather and armor, wielding weapons and carrying the banners of some Agden longscarf, the brigand prince of Prismere. They all look out at you, and you see one of them step forward, a female, clearly in higher-ranked regalia, as she points her spear out at you, Kremi. You hear, this is a rubbery. If you resist will

bitch, you black and blue. And that's where we'll end the session. Oh, my God. That's rubbery. I mean robbery. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Amazing.

I'm so excited to be in Prismere. You're in Prismere. I'm so, so excited to be in Prismere. Yeah. And I think you might get some fucking combat. Oh, please resist. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Adventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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