Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 19 | Bump in the Night

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

A much needed respite is broken by yet another threat...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/h4Lp-rS3jm4?si=fG_h00FzojpZIfOk

What a do, welcome to Ladies of Ventress. My name is Cremille Lucreux, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. There are brambles that are towards the top, but they don't make it all the way up to the top, and they are covering the arched entrance that would lead you inside the tower where there's potentially a circular staircase that would lead. Is that you? Yeah.

Oh, no. It's sneak jazz. Fucking hipster snakes? Why'd you bring it down here to listen to all your weird bickering and improv jazz? Now that the hourglass coven is, has taken over and splintered this place into three separate realm.

Yeah, you got hither, thither, and yawn. And once you're in one, you can't get out of it. Would you be able to help? My daughter and a charming, sounding, uh, summer queen representative. I think something like that could be arranged. As long as Gideon apologizes to my wife for some of the horrible things he said to were upon a first meeting.

Do it for Hootsey. Fine, I'll do it for Hootsey, okay? For Hootsie? You see, Hootsey. Curled up next to a cage, not inside of it, but next to it. Well, that took you too long, much too long. Hoosie, Hoosie, Hoosie, are you okay? It's me and Popatio, I'm sorry. This cage has made my magic null and void. Key is all that will do.

Oh. Bavlona has two sisters. There are three hags within this realm. I'm sure you did not know that information. No, we did. She loathes them. Oh, so do we. They are using an artifact called Igwilv's cauldron. The castle has frozen time in Sabinla's palace,

trapping the archfay inside. You see a battlefield, and as the mist moves, you realize as you reach out to touch one of these, that they're not really there. And for a second, you see as one of them looks up, almost as if seeing me as the wind moves in and the vision thing.

You were walking through the swamp of Hither and Prismere. And you have had quite the interesting evening. But Hootsie is now by your side. She has been rescued. And though it was through some shenanigans and a bit of Fay wackiness, you were able to procure her. But you are now set out on another task. You have met with an emissary from the summer court,

an emissary of Titania herself. And this fairy dragon is locked within a cage that had been previously ferried through the skies of Prismere on a balloon that crashed into the slanty tower. You want to help rescue him. And so you've been sent on a task of retrieving the key to his cage, a magical key, the only key,

that will unlock this magical cage that was crafted by Pavlornna Blightstraw herself. And the key has fallen into the hands of a goblin known as Jingle Jingle. So you have been set on the path of finding a moving hill, Tellamy Hill. Last scene, somewhere north. Seems like most things in this place are somewhere north.

And it is through your traveling's in the swamp, that you end up walking into a misty portion of the swamp where the mangrove roots are digging deep into the earth, stretching out like gnarled, twisted fingers across the land. As the mist swirls around you, you begin to see forms and shapes appear off in the distance. Visions of a battlefield. Whether this is past, present or future is hard to describe or hard to tell, as you see the forms of giant beings, a third eye present on their faces, laying slain upon the ground, stacked bodies high, intermingled with fay creatures of all kinds. from a common brownie to fey creatures that are heavily armored

in beautiful regalia that could only be that look like they may only be forged for the highest ranks of archfay all of them intermingled and equal in death and as you watch the steam rise off of these in this image that you see appear before you, freshly slain bodies, you see two large forms begin to make their way out of the mist walking towards you.

Clearly, more of these giant kin, at least in size. But it's hard to tell because they are fully armored, including helms that cover their faces. And as they walk towards you, their hands on the hilt of their blades, they kick with their feet at these bodies, moving them to make them. sure that they truly have found peace and death. Their armor shines in the pale moonlight as it drifts down through the outstretched branches of the mangrove trees. And you see that their helmets have completely cover their face and stretching around the backs of their heads are the wings of an owl. And upon their chest is the emblazoned visage of a barn owl

itself. And as they get directly in front of you, they disappear into mist. And what had once been a battlefield is now just the chirping, fetid swamps that you've been walking through for about an hour now. You look around you to see the remnants of this vision. And for mere moments, you can still see the fading scene as it slowly just disappears into me. mist until it's nothing but you and the floating the flitting dragonflies and other swamp-like creatures it's fairly silent here aside from the natural noises of the swamp there is a somber peace to this evening uh did anyone else see that or is that just me are you referring to the vision of a battlefield and two

large armored perhaps soldiers kicking into the bodies I thought as well no frogs and nothing right nobody saw any frogs big monsters and elves or something I would say you would have seen bully wugs pixies all manner of creatures

of the Fay Wilde strown about the body It did seem like it was more of a war between the fairies and these entities, but it wasn't just those two groups that seemed to be embroiled in this war. Is everything just seemed to be, were they all just kind of like normally killed, or were the bullywugs like? It was all normally. It wasn't the same that you had seen with the bullywugs who'd been decapitated. They were all decapitated.

Yeah. Uh, do you think that the swamp is trying to tell us something? I mean, it's just more visions. I mean, but it does, the other visions that we all had separately, I feel like there was a bit of a common through line, you know? Yeah, they're all different, though. I would say this felt very different. Yeah.

The legends that you had seen looking into that stranger. Yeah, it's a whole different feel, vibe. We all saw the same thing here. Well, here's the thing. I mean, based on the look of those soldiers, I mean, you saw, you saw basically royalty laying dead. And these are, you know, beautifully gilded suits of armor. And we know that there's a queen of the faith that's involved with all this. So maybe she's some interconnected.

Maybe this is the side of a great battlefield. And it was a long ago battle. Do we think it was in the past? Or maybe it's like visions of the world. things to come. It doesn't look like any battle's been fought anywhere near here. I mean, it could have been

a very long time ago and all that would be left is we would look into the swamp and see poorly aged CGI, angry elves going ah and there could still don't follow the lights, Gregor.

I'm not going to look at the swamp now. Questionably age CGIEls Well, I for one don't really want to poke around too much. I mean, maybe Zabille and they're trying to, like, tell us something. Maybe she can sense us, or maybe we're trying to be creeped out by the hags. What they're saying about whether or not it is a vision of the future or the past does intrigue Frost? He, as swampy as is, will inspect and try and get a sense of maybe there's bodies underneath the swamp or trinket.

Anything that would indicate that this perhaps already happened? Roll in investigation check for me, please. Oh, no. Frosty. Oh, God, they always get around. Oh, let's see how shoes on. I can use my mind hand to probe the waters. That's a good point.

I will enjoy a 19 mind-handing. That's a very good 19 mind-handing, I would say. I'm getting in there. Oh. And then can I also have you roll a D100 for me, please? Yes, I... You said a 19, I'll have you roll D100 twice. D100, 64.

Roll it again, please? 64 and an 8. Perfect. You begin to reach down into the muck of the swamp. And as it... As it... It almost bubbles beneath your hands for a moment. Just the swamp here as naturally as you have already experienced quite gassy, as bubbles pop and you can smell the stink of the things that are rotting beneath the initial layer of this swamp.

And as disgusting as that is, you breathe in and you smell the sense of natural state of decay of plant life and such. but you, looking through this, you don't see anything that would lead you to believe that any time recently there was any sort of battle here, at least as far as you can tell, though your experience with the way that time works in the Fay Wilde is limited. And you do know that it functions differently here. And if something did happen here,

you imagine it's going to take more than a cursory inspection for you to truly discover what this, location holds. But you are able to reach down into the muck and find two things. You said you got an eight and a what? A 64. You reach in and you find what looks to be a piano key. Carved with intricate designs depicting a festival, like a grape festival,

with dancing satyrs, wine. cheese feasts. Very... Very similar, actually, as you're looking at this, it reminds you a lot of the Dionysus Festival that you had experienced at Pixie Kingdom. But this looks far older. And as you inspect it,

though you're not so familiar with all things, Faye, there are things about this that stick out to you, and you are able to determine that this is a piano key carved from a Sater's horn. You continue to rifle around in the muck, and you're also able to find a pair, a tiny pair of sharp iron scissors. They're intricate and floral and quite beautiful, but both of these things appear to be nothing more

than simple trinkets of the fay. But you imagine they would be given the nature of this place and your need for reciprocity that these would function really well as currency as trinkets that could be offered up and trade for services for goods rendered. And that their value might be fairly high. Hootie, stay away from the creepy water. Frosty, get back here, even with your mind.

So what I will say, when you receive a trinket, you will want to write it down. I am writing it down already. Just making sure. I have found two trinkets in the water. They don't indicate any more information. about our vision, but they do look to me like they could offer some value, perhaps, perhaps to the inhabitants of this strange realm.

Oh, well, um, I didn't, uh, Bavlona drown the whole place? Yeah, was it a swamp before, but it's even more swampy, or was it just like some beautiful idyllic land before? There's probably a beautiful glade, and she drowned it with well magic. Well, that's pretty fancy stuff to come across even in a... In a glade. I wonder what's doing out here. We may learn the story, or we may not.

It's hard to say if there's anything to do with the battle here, certainly. Do the scissors concern anybody? Given the previously alive, now currently deceased, pixie we found, had a wingsnought. I don't think that just a little scissors like that could have done that to Miss Pots. miles of warping terrain from the entrance to Prismere in the first place. I can't imagine

that these would be the scissors and expecting them I don't see any blood or anything along the lines of the lane. Well, it was in swamp water? That would have washed that off. Yeah, I mean... Oh, and she was dead in the swamp too. She was. I'm skeptical. I feel like that was like a... You know what I mean? Oh, like a... like a hacksaw. Yeah, yeah. I didn't want to say it. Yeah.

Yeah, dismemberment. And as you are having this conversation with each other, you hear the sound of something being cried from the muck, something large, the rustling of branches and the boughs of trees. And as you look all around you, you can now hear the sounds of croaking frogs as they're skittering and leaping away, the sounds of animals rushing in this direction or that, something is clearly coming.

Hey, we don't want no trouble. What the fuck, you do, Frost? Uh, Frosky, get back. I told you to think the things in the water, there's things in the water. Calm yourselves. Calm yourselves. Everyone gather close.

It could be perhaps one of those barn owled armwork figures. No, you're all dead and long gone and we don't have to ever worry about any of you ever again. Anyway, ghost, good night. Does it sound real or is it like a ethereal ghost sounds? It sounds very real. Do we get a direction of from which direction?

Reception. I filled that in my dick. I only once. Stop rolling that in the wormwood dice tray, Richard. Fine, I'll re-roll. A redor. No, you need to re-roll it. You need to take that roll.

It's 11. Roughly somewhere to the north. Does it sound close or far? It sounds close. Oh, it's in their direction. We're going. Excuse me, strange. Spooky, a bug beast man, woman, or someone else or a monster.

We have a child with us, so we don't want any trouble. She's very cute, and we just got her back. And so we're just trying to get a nice bowl of stew. We were told to eat stew. So we're going to do that. Not stew like a person that we're going to eat. I'm not one of those goblins. Unless you're nasty and you ask for it.

Anyways. We're gonna keep going. Goodbye. Gideon, if Grico is antagonizing whatever that's making this sound, be ready for anything. Well, I suppose I don't need to tell you that. Be ready for combat.

I'm not trying to find another policeful situation. And you are just remaining here for the time being. As the branches move away, you begin to look down at the mangrove trees and see that part of the noise that you're hearing is the actual retraction of their roots as they are pulling their roots away from a location that is off to the north

because everything is to the north in this campaign. That's sexy picture. And you see as it's almost a swarm of fireflies as they begin to swirl and convalesce around you. And then they create a place. path. And you see what has been making this noise as large roots pull themselves up out of the earth with a loud suctioning pop and then squish back in and move.

As on the on apparently six legs of roots is a three-storied, slap-roofed cottage. Oh. Smoke billowing out of its chimney as it moves. through the swamp. Lights are illuminated in the windows. There are these cheerful floral curtains that seem to be tied open. A small wooden door

faces you as this cottage begins to move. And you're immediately reminded of something that you were told, because you are right, Grico. You were told to eat stew. and as the cottage comes into view, you can smell it, the smell of fresh cooked beef stew as it infiltrates the air around you

so strong and flavorful that it cuts through the smells of the swamp and your stomachs rumble. This is clearly the cottage at the end of the road and almost as if ascensions lives within this cottage upon seeing you, you see as the roots begin to nestle deep into the muck and the cottage lowers itself and settles.

And then directly in front of you, straight from the door towards you, you hear popping noises as large boulders jut up out of the earth and create a stone pathway that leads directly to the door of the inn at the end of the road. What the fuck?

This is that end, right, that we were told about? Well, there's got to be. They said it'd be walking around. And I know we all just eat massive bowls of spaghetti and sauce, but I mean, hell, I can go for seconds. I would say, that was probably three hours ago. I got to eat every three hours, guys. I say we get right the hell up there. Yeah.

We just, I mean, they're talking. I'm fucking hungry. They were, are you kidding me? I didn't really like the spaghetti that the snakes made. I don't want to say it in front of them. I really just kind of pushed it around with me fork. So I'm over-cooked. Yeah, it was a little squishy.

She clearly did not use any of the pasta water in the sauce. It took it too long, you know. You know, I'd train the pasta so it over-cooked. I actually thought it was good, but the whole kidnapping me thing really served my appetite. It's just like half a bottle of wine in that. And also, it being so close to that fifth gallon barrel of loom was

I just, I felt like it was not, yeah. In the studio apartments, am I right? The chanting evil collection of wizards on the other side of the home It's like, come on, man. That's why I switched. We were using NASBAN music.

I'm using a different plane list now. No more chanting wizards. Atmospheric is key when you're drawing a male. Yeah. But you know what they say? Speak of the Lord of Lawers and he shall appear. I don't know who says that

Yeah Well, asking ye shall receive I am a little hungry And perhaps this is fortuitous But we must stay on our guard This could be a trap This could be much worse than When we could were confronted by the rabbit folk

I mean I could use a proper fucking drink Let's see if we can get on But I'm just saying that there are real evils in this realm We have to keep that in the forefront of our minds I don't get you, Frosty man We're surrounded by Beer wheeled and rabbits that try to steal our souls and everything was totally fine. And now, a delicious soup stands in front of us with a welcoming cottage.

And suddenly, we got to look out for danger. On their face, they were threatening us. It was obvious that they were the level of scary that they were. And here, we're in the middle of a dark swamp in the middle of the night. And just so happens that shelter and food shows up in front of us. No, I think we should be at least a little. Yeah, it sounds so good to be true. Let's go!

Wait a lot. There we go. Look at the taste with floral curtains. Yeah. The bad's ever happened with taste with floral curtains. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

They even got some nice bluebird or canography woven into the floral patterns. Yeah, and they have those woven ropes that wrap around and keep it split open. I mean, the decor here is just like, you know. I don't disagree. That's what makes it scary. Yeah. There are little baskets of flowers hanging out of each side of the windows,

and they're flowers that are clearly Faye Wild exclusives. Does it stink like the swamp? No, the smells of the beef stew is so potent and so flavorful that you can't even smell the murky swamp beneath your feet any longer. Well, it's been at least three hours and one minute

since I've eaten, so I've got to get something fucking meat. I can't worry about this anymore. The calories. Come up. It looks like high society. Looks like perhaps the height of Hautei-Couture, as they say. Let's go. I'm saying we should go.

Just be on your guard. Just don't trust a house that has a solicitor's welcome sign on it. Come on, he did. You got him. I'm gonna be on. Didn't take long. Two dollar rail shots.

Oh, this is a college town. Oh, until you're leaving to 7 p. Oh, fuck. Okay. You make your way, you make your way up to the front of this cottage,

the inn at the end of the road. And as you, Grico is at the front of the envoy as you make your way to this cottage. And as you reach out to grab the handle of the door, it begins to swing open on its own. With a soft creak, the door swings open on its hinges,

and you are met with a warm, comfortable wave of heated air. You can see into this place, and the wood flooring is old and worn, but well-kept. There are tables here and there about the room, small tables, enough for four people at most. with matching wooden chairs all seem to be carved out of mangrove trees, as far as you can tell. There is a roaring fire in the hearth. The mantelpiece is decorated with all manner of things, little figurines, all appearing to be carved out of wood or harvested from the earth itself. A portrait is set above the mantelpiece, a beautiful portrait. of what is clearly Zabilna.

Oh. Her pure white hair. She's easily recognizable. You had been, she had been depicted to you before. Oh. As almost a fairy godmother type woman. And her pure white hair, the jubilant look on her face, she's wearing a beautiful pink gown.

And behind her are what seems, would appear to be just a litany of happy and joyous, not compatriots, or certain. Patrons? No, she would be the patron of. Patronese? Like, if she's a warlock, or if she's like a warlock's patron. Oh, like it charges. Yeah, charges.

And all of them seem to be comfortable. And even from where you're standing, you can. see as you're looking at this that there's one face that sticks out to you clearly. Wait, not one, two. The face of a Kenku and a very young Madrick Rossloff.

Oh, I don't know Kenku live that long. There are fluffy couches. They look well used, well loved, but very cozy that are set up in front of the fire and crocheted and knitted blanket

strown over the side, plush armchairs. This is an incredibly cozy place, and very inviting if you choose to step inside. Wow. Shall we? We got one of them automatic doors. That's great. I fucking hate touching handles. Uh, hold on. You sleep in the mud, kid. Yeah, well, I hope the owner of his establishment doesn't mind. I'm gonna reach into my, oh, Whitland kit, and pull out by a little canister. Yep, hope, okay, just to get back in, my WD-40, the hinges. Yep, there we go. Well, all the run hopes to solve that.

Well, hang on, I think he's got a right idea, but I think it's kind of like those crowns, you know, and Cremi was always saying, you know, Fate engineering is a little different from engineering. You can't fix it. Yeah, I'll just sort of do something nice. Table for four, please. You have a smoking section? I will, if Crime is already walking here. You're standing.

I'll be following or I'm leading the way I'm interested. You make your way in, and you're immediately surrounded by the warmth of this place. And as your feet, as Gideon, who's trailing behind, as you step firmly into this place, the door slowly closes. behind you. There is no locking sound. You imagine you could easily leave if you, if you chose to. But you are now in, firmly in this place. And it is quaint. It is cute. There's a, there is a set of stairs that lead up to a second floor. You can see that one stair leads up to the second floor. And there's another stair that leads down to what you imagine is a cellar of some sort. And

this room is large and open. There's the small seating area. There seem to be the table. There seem to be the tables where you could sit. And then off in one corner there is a very small, very quaint bar section. And you hear rustling and noises behind the bar, but you see no one. You hear the sounds of moving pots and pans, clinking glasses. What a do? Hello? Are y'all open for business?

I'm presuming you all. Yeah, I'm down here. Oh, down, down, down, and I look over the bar. You look over the bar and you see a tiny fay creature. I would say just for the sake of bees, this is clearly a brownie. She is two and a half feet tall tops. She has a small red toadstool bonnet on top of her head. She's wearing a mossy green dress with puffy sleeves and dainty lace with a red

red and white checkered apron over it. She has a cute, lacy cloth that she's using to clean out glasses. And she has overly large spectacles. These are way too big for her face, which, as you're looking at her, you realize her head is slightly too large for her body. The proportions of these brownies is quite cute,

giving her these almost large bug eyes as she looks out at you. And she stares up, you see tiny, tiny to you but proportionate to her body-sized wings on the back of her body. She clearly has a flying speed. This is a fairy in all manners of the word, but specifically a brownie. Her hair is a very pale brown with hints of red in it, and her eyes are a piercing green. As she looks up at you through her spectacles, her eyes look incredibly large. and you see a smile, a light on her face.

Oh! Hi! Hello? Hold on, hold on, hold on. And she pulls a small little ladder up to the side, and she slowly begins to climb it, and she stands on the counter. She's now face to face with you.

Well, what to do, mademoiselle? My name is Cremantle-Crew. We are carnivala crew, and we're hoping for table service if y'all are open. Well, my name's Twake Toad Spring, and the inn at the end of the road. Well, Miss Toad Spring, that's your name? Your last name?

Please to meet you. It's a pleasure to meet you, and I mean, you are just a breath of fresh air in this fetic swamp. Let me tell you. Are you going to stay here? Absolutely. We'd love to stay, yeah. Do you all have rooms, too, upstairs? Oh, do you want one big room?

I mean, if it wouldn't be too much room. Ideally, four rooms. Oh, okay. We didn't do one, great room? Do you want an adjoining doors to do that? We'll have, like, a sweet situation with, like, a big common area, and then maybe four individual rooms. I'll leave out of my own room. You know what?

I'll make it work, okay? Well, he can stay his own room, and we can also have adjoining rooms, and if you have enough blankets, we can make tunnels. If you have sticks. I've loved to crochet. I do it all the time,

and no one ever comes here anymore. So I have, you see that closet over there? And you look, and there's a closet that clearly cannot shut, and it is piled high with blankets that she is clearly crocheted. Kuchin I, in a varying size.

Pillar and blanket foot builders. That's true. Yeah. Oh, Todd Frosty, everything he knows. You are so beautiful, all of you. Do you want something to eat and drink? Oh, I love some needs. Say no more.

It smells delicious in here. All right, we'll open a tab on the crew. Beef stew for you? Sure. Beef stew for you. Oh, I'm not gonna keep singing a song. Beef stew for me. Oh, damn it.

Hey, oh, damn it. How you have pretty good? Well, he said he, I said me. Hello, I'm awesome. That was it good. Thank you. There's never anybody here to sing songs with me anymore. I was just getting a little repressive.

No, no, it's a good thing. You're here now. We'll keep you company. Yeah. So we'll take however many rooms. You charge us whatever you need to. Charge you? Yeah.

Is it free? Yeah, I don't mean. What do you mean charge you? Like, like money. Tell us how much money to pay you for your services and exchange for, you know, food and drink and lodging. Twig, you have to understand. We're quite new to the Faywild.

Where we're from, people require an exchange of goods and for services like food or... Well, here, we just require the rule of reciprocity. I do something nice for you. You do something nice for me. Oh, oh, all right. Or you provide a fun trinket. Like, look at my mantelpiece. Do you see all the cool stuff I have up there?

And as you look at her mantelpiece, there's a bunch of cool stuff out there. That's a lot of cool stuff. I love the Faywild. Many trinkets. Many trinkets. And she does have what appears to be a large wooden bookshelf that's made out of mangrove roots. And there are a plethora of beautiful books.

And intermingled through them, there are different types of fungi. are trinkets of all sorts, little dolls, figurines, art pieces, clothing, like random folded bits of clothing that clearly don't belong to her. They're not in her size. But things that she's been gifted and given throughout the years for her service running the inn. I'd be happy to offer you a trinket. Oh, I would love a trinket from you.

Well, I was just out in the swamp and I found a few items, but... Oh, oh, swamp toys! I love swamp toys! Those are from here. I imagine you want something perhaps a little more foreign. And here, I'll rummage around in my pack and walk over to the shelf. And I will place a wooden carved signal whistle on to the shelf. This was carved by Grico. I think it has a perfect home here. It looks great out there, Frosty. You made this?

Oh, yes, I'll did. For me good lad. What does it do? Oh, if you blow on one out here, why do you try it? Blow on the small opening there. Not too hard, but you have to actually put your lips around it and blow. Oh. Oh.

It's sanitary enough. Ah! Yes, yes, you see? It made a noise. It's made a whistling noise. It's called a signal whistle. And now it's your trinket to keep. You've got to get the hole just rot.

It also doesn't work. You know, I've perfected the method. Hi, Signal. It's nice to meet you. She pets it, and then she jumps down off of the counter, and she scuttles over to the mantelpiece. And you watch as she begins to climb it. There are clearly little stones that have been made into it, almost like a little staircase for her to climb up.

And she finds, she's rummaging through things. She's moving things around. No, not you have to move over here. Oh, no, no, no, you look good over there. I'm going to take you down to the left. And then she finds a small little wooden nail that she slowly pushes

into the mortar between some of the stones and she hangs the signal whistle there. Wow. I mean, you know, I feel like she does as her things of very strong sentimental value frosty. It's very nice of you. Is anything broken around here

or leaky or maybe it's a little squeaky, a kid's real handy and he can fix anything that needs fixing. There is, um, there is the, the bath upstairs has been giving me quite the fuss. Well, what's going on with that? I just won't stop talking to me. Oh, well. Well, he could take a look at least.

I mean, I've never seen a problem that Gid can't fix. Well, the door. And then, you know, for someone who's just for lonely like me, you would think something not stop talking to me would be exactly what I want. But the problem is it doesn't say anything worth saying. Oh, man. So it's basically like talking to Grico. And, well, I don't know. I've never talked to me.

Exactly right. Wait a minute. But what I will say is it distracts me when I'm busy cleaning. And I have to make sure that the end's perfect just in case people show up like you. I'm sorry, I got your name. Oh, my name is Grickow, Grim Grim. This is Hootzee, T-Q-C-Grim. Oh, no.

She's not going to eat anybody. She's very friendly. here, Hootsey, paw. Dang, it's making me. Pa. Oh, do the little dancing. Oh, you know, the one that we like that fairies like? And she will do a very style, a, uh, a, a, a,

stylus jig. But not that kind of stylish jig. Oh, oh, oh, oh, look at a god! Oh, she fairies like that. Yeah, it looks nothing like a grublin, nothing. There's a very owlbear jig. Very owlbear jig. Oh, you're so got her, you haven't, you still got it. No, now take it easy.

had a very trying, I'm not sure how long to be fair, time has been very confusing lately, but a very trying time lately, so take it easy hootsie. Oh, no, oh no, oh, no, run. And she climbs down off of the mantelpiece, and she goes over to a separate closet, not the one that's piled high with all the blanket cheese crocheted, but yet another one. And as she opens it, you see that there are piles high of bowls and cups and plates, all wooden.

And oddly enough, at the very bottom, there is what appears to be a large pet bed. And it looks to be probably for something slightly bigger than Hootsie, but it looks like it will do. And she slowly wiggles it. And I can't even, yeah. I could never ask you to do what you. You're not asked, I mean.

Hold on, hold on. Hey, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, I mean. Be a gentleman, Gid. Come on. Come on, I got this. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah.

Please. Thank you. Okay. Here's my, you could call Gid my guy equivalent of Friday. Okay, if you could just drag it over in front of the fireplace? Yeah. Oh, Lucy, we love the fireplace, don't we? We just want to keep her warm.

Does she like milk? Oh, she loves milk. If you have any rat snacks as well, she loves rat snacks. No. The rats are friends here. Oh, hootie? What do you have? Open your mouth.

Oh, oh, oh! No, hootie, oohie, hootie. Oh, no, Frederick! Oh, Frederick! Oh, Frederick, you're fine. Hold on. Oh, you're fine. Yeah.

Yeah, luckily, when I tell her not to eat so fast and she should chew of food, I'm glad she didn't listen to me this time. Sorry, Frederick, sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry. She didn't mean it. No, no.

I promise she didn't mean it. He's got exes over his eyes. He's clearly dead. Oh. Now with the other, she puts him down on the floor. He doesn't move. He'll eventually meet up with the rest. In Friswick.

I'm sorry, so you were good, though. This is you are. You are. My name is Morning Frost. You can call me Frost. Okay, I will. I'm Gideon. I like that name.

Oh. you is they're all one I've ever had so well Cole I got another name too that was a lie so sorry wait is your first name's gold no my last name's cold my first name's Gideon I like that name you should keep it don't let anyone else have it yeah no well man yeah you know somebody else decided they want to name like a child after me because they saw me win the cake eating contest I mean you want a cake eating contest I did yeah barely barely you know land slide you wouldn't believe it to get what that like three cupcakes. I thought who's going to hold it together.

Yeah, not only then, but when we were done, my celebration feast was an even larger cake. Were you able to eat that one too? Yeah, I either while I watched them pass out after four cupcakes. You kept trying to make these little sandwiches out of it and they just spent too much time I thought it was a non-stratory.

Frost, if it makes you feel better, that's how I eat my cupcakes. I rip them in half. I take some of the frosting off the top about half of it. And scoop it off. I don't eat them in a and like a smash him because that's weird. But you just take some of them and he gets some of the frosting off and you

rub it around on the bottom piece and then you have two cupcakes. Eat them separately. Exactly right. Yeah. And then the ratio of frosting the cake is so much better that way. I like to like really bring it in frosting first because then what happens is it gets caught in my beard so when I'm done I just do it.

You have some for later! Yeah, exactly. I always wanted a beard. Yeah, well it's pretty handy when you're eating cake. So, you know. I don't have cake. but I do I did make a fresh pixie berry tart oh what's a pixie berry what's a pixie berry I just like to clarify whenever I hear there's a Pixie X food okay okay that's not yeah that's all there are these beautiful

verdant green bushes that sprout up all over Prismere that's not they have a bunches of berries on them and unlike some other berries where the colors are all the same Pixy berries have colors of all variety and a single bunch Twig, that sounds great. Do you have any coffee? Huh? Yeah, there's coffee and adventurous.

Coffee? I mean, it's coffee and avatrous. I don't know what the Fy Wilde gear. They probably got tea. You got coffee? Yeah, coffee? Coffee? Tea.

Oh, and no, it's Capa, Joe, you know? Who's Joe? Joe, you know, he's the... Joe, he's the inventor of coffee, you know? Yes, and famous Ventress lore. Yeah. Joe Coffee. Joe coffee, actually.

The great Galtekin founder. Mr. Snake, Snake, new old battle, right there. Joe coffee. I made a fresh pot of pixieberry tea. Yeah, that'll do. Oh, we love tea and nice cup. It's probably most past tea time. I would like that.

But we miss tea time. I also have a pot of bean milk brewing. Bean milk? What's that like? I think you'll enjoy it. That's got frost written all over it. Is that, like, you know, Is it, you know, like milky?

Is it like a... Well, I could add milk or cream to it if you'd like, but no, you basically take beans. It's so cool. And you dehydrate them. Okay. And then you just crush them up into little tiny bits. And you put them in a filter.

Okay. And you pour hot water over it. Okay. So it distills the essence of the beans. Okay. And you just kind of like milk on them. Okay. Until you get this delicious, like super dark brown.

on liquid and it's filled with energy. So if you're super tired, you can drink it and you have lots of energy. Okay. And then you could put cream in it if you want. Okay. Or you could put some sweet lily nectar if you want to make it really like delicious and sweet and it's nice. Or you could just drink it completely plain and it's kind of bitter and tart and barky a little bit. Not like a dog, it doesn't bark at you. Um, why do you keep saying okay? processing what you're saying. Oh, it's really distracting. Okay.

But I don't mind it. He's practiced and active. Man. That sounds really nice, but we generally prefer coffee, so we'll just stick with the tea. I think, Gideon, you should have something.

I don't need coffee. Yeah, we're more coffee guys. I mean, I wish we had coffee. We're not really wanting bean milk. I'll do the bean milk. I like my coffee black is midnight on a moonless night. But can I get it with a splash of cream?

What? No, he'll have the fade. The fade bean milk. Oh, the bean milk? You want bean milk with cream. Yeah, Frosty can't stop recommending it. There's nothing like that's like just how regular milk is made. Oh, I don't know.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay, am I doing it right? What? Okay, I'm trying to do it quickly. Yeah, so you're doing kind of as we're talking, you've got to say, okay, like in agreement with everything we're saying. How am I supposed to listen to what you're saying if I'm talking while you're speaking? used to it and it's fine really okay it's just like talking to someone who smacks

their lips before every sentence you know what I'm talking about it can be very annoying but if they're they're cool people and they're nice then you eventually you overcome that difficulty I do really like the feeling my lips do when I do that mm-hmm I can't do that you're fast learner twig thanks that's quite nice some browning points I see. Oh, I get it. Yeah.

Oh. When did you become funny, man? That's pretty good. Since we came here. That was not good. Well, that was pretty good. Can we sit down? So to get this straight, you want,

we need four stews in a bread bowl. And get the two. Same with a pixie bear. A pixie bear tart. A round of pix and berry tarts. Okay. You got I want the bean milk. Make some more.

Tea for me. You want Pixieberry tea? Pixie bear tea for me as well. You want a pixie berry tea? Some kind of strong drink, whatever you got. Okay. I don't have a salmon, man. I'll take one of those, too.

I like to be worried about what I'm putting in my body. Do you want it in your bean milk? No. I like to enjoy my. You're going to get a glass of. Nightmare. I would like. Beef stew, if I may, and then

Pixelberry tart, and then bean milk, black, with a splash of cream. That's not the same thing. And then the drink that is making everybody nervous. I'll take a nervous drink, too. I'll take a nervous drink, too, or not. Yeah, I'm feeling, you know.

It's like dehydrated vampires that have been crushed up. No, you can't. I've never even seen a vampire. You drink where you serve, boss. You're all right. It's hospitality. and get comfortable on the couches in front of the fire. And I will be right back with you shortly, okay?

Okay. You know, actually, they did serve that back home. It's a blah, whole blessed. I remember when they discontinued the blog on that was so disappointed. Oh, me too. It was a souring special. And when Salon was over, I'm like, please keep it on the menu. That was really good.

If that's not a t-shirt in one week, you're five. With that. Enjoy nice blob. Blahub. You have a day starts right now, or you got. You have seven days. With that, twig jumps, she hops back around the side of the bar and you hear she's rustling around and moving things.

You see flower fly up into the air as she is clearly working on. You fucking rage. back there. Hell yeah! She puts on to breaking nettle. Oh, that's all right. And she is clearly baking more tarts

as she is preparing everything, and it happens quickly. That all of a sudden she comes around the side of the bar, and her apron is covered in jellies and flour from her baking. What? And cacko demon blood. I know it was something horrible.

I'm still laughing at both blah, ha, blam. And she makes her way over to you. She is somehow able, even with her tiny stature, she's somehow able to carry everything. As she presents each of you with a beef stew and a bread bowl, it looks spectacular. It looks like the best beef stew you've ever eaten before. She places two teas down in front of the two of you.

They are a beautiful reddish purple color. And the smell of the berries is strong. It is, it's like a mix of every berry you could possibly imagine. Raspberrys, blueberries, moleberries, all combined into one. Who, boison? Boisin berries. And it is libraries. And it is the smell of old books.

It's just. Frost loves that. Yeah, present there. As she sets those down, you get your coffee or your bean milk and it is clearly coffee. With a small saucer of cream. Well, it doesn't taste anything like coffee, but it's pretty good. It tastes exactly like coffee. And as you...

It's totally different in the failout. I've never had it like this before. But as you drink the first couple of gulps, you realize that these beans are clearly far more potent. in the Fay Wild than they are on the material plane. And you can immediately feel the jittering in your hands and your legs as you feel that energy to overcome you. I mean, it's pretty good, but... You should probably drink 300 of those in one day.

I'm impressed. I think Gideon's having a physical seizure. You're going to be all right. One of the stains looks kind of like a rubber duckie. And then... Oh, I'll wiped it up, but... And then she places two... That's commitment.

Two carved wooden mugs in front of you. They are in the shape of a displacer beast. Oh. And she places one in front of each of you. All right, that's a displacer's draft. Oh. This is the mystery drink. Yeah.

Oh, wow. All right, Gide. Hey, can I get a napkin real quick? I'm covered in bean milk. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And she pulls a lacy floral napkin out of her apron and passes it to you. Oh, perfect. Wow, this is...

All right. Look at that crazy bean juice. It's making Gideon more jittery. Yeah, I'm not fucking touching. That's something to give me anxiety. Listen, man, I'm as steady as a horse, all right? Just look at me. All right?

Yeah. Yeah. Man, between the music and the intense drinks, I didn't know we were eating at a Pantera bread. You know anything a little jazzier you could go? Hey, this fucking rocks, man. I love this place, be still? It's just kind of, oh, my, woo. I fucking love this place!

Hey! Yeah! Oh, gosh. Let's displace. All right. And as you, as you, as you, as you, as you, As you raise to cheer, you hear, and it is not a knock at the door. It is clearly something ramming up against the outside of the house.

What was that? What was that? Oh, not today. You hear a loud scratch down the side of the walls, like nails on chalkboard, but far worse. Everyone put their drinks and food down. be ready for anything. Well, hang, I'm not doing. Oh, please.

It's probably just an owl or something. I stand and I'll get to the center of the room. Let's share a smoke real quick. No, no, it's probably a very brain trauma of an owl now. I get my cigarette holder. Can you roll a perception check for me, please?

A halfway. Whatever comes next. Oh, gosh, the music stult. Oh, it's spooky. Oh, it's spooky. I smash the pixel bear. Cabley cobbler into my mouth. I'm gonna be fine, oh, am I getting a note of plural?

It's Jerry's babies. With a 17, your friends are panicking, essentially, but you get to the middle of the room, and you begin to spin slowly in circles, keeping your eyes on the windows specifically, as you see a shape move quickly past one of the windows. You dart to the next window, and you see it move past, you know that your next motion

that your next motion you should be able to catch it. As you dart one more time, you see clearly this hulking form, gigantic in nature, one hand up against the window. It's large hand. The claws coming from it are yellowed and elongated. The face is a face you recognize, but different. It is more menacing, more evil. The things that hang from his mouth, from Torbeth. mouth are far larger than they had been before. His eyes are wild and in a frenzy, a dark, red, glowing color. And you see that on his back is some kind of contraption, seems to be bedded directly into his flesh. Vials filled with this beautiful, purple, glittery, luminescent substance that is coursing through his veins, causing his muscles to tense and contract.

And as you stare at him, he turns and he looks at you. And I need you all to roll for initiative. Andy, can you please take the DM station for me? The greatest room! Hello, hello. Holy shit. I'm gonna need a quick moment to get ready here. Welcome to the inn.

Door of the inn makes that same creaking noise you heard earlier when opening on its own. From out of view, long, impossibly long, tendril-like finger, slowly creep around the doorframe. The fingers steadily draw a figure into the doorway of the old strange cottage. It appears to be almost more shadow than person, except for its glowing magenta eyes.

The figure easily fills the entire doorframe. This isn't due to its bulk or its musculature, but rather due to its unnaturally long limbs, torso, and face, all hunched over as it begins sliding into the tavern. As it fully stands and struts, stretches inside the entrance, its limbs almost unfolding now that there is room. You notice first how eerily silent the figure is. You can see it rapidly breathing, but it makes almost no sound.

Several strange objects are protruding from its back and shoulders. Finally, staring at this nightmare makes you almost feel like a scared child once again. You now realize the monster is, was your fun-employed acquaintance Torbeck. Something is clearly wrong. While you recall him being tall, Torbeck's flesh now almost undulates, and his limbs are nearly two, maybe three times as long as you remember. Stunned, confused, and some of you perhaps disgusted that this creature has cursed your doorstep once again. You have no time to react before the lightning-quipped Torbeck lunges for you.

I need you all to roll for initiative. Holy shit. I'm actually... Natural 20. What's the way started. Got to give it up, folks. Oh, my goodness. Okay.

Okay, well. Four. You still probably aren't going to be Twicken initial. Griggum, he's fast. Oh my God. Honey? It's going to be like in Dragon Ball Z where we're all

Ptswls. All right. I can hardly see them. I can see everything. 25 to 30. Grick, are you that fast? 24. 24.

24. You can go first. All right. I'm going to start. Over here, we got Grillo, Oh, I got Jennifer. Cool. Flip.

20 to 25? 20 to 25, anybody. No. No. Okay. 18 to 15 to 20. I have a 18.

Oh, shit. Yeah. 10 to 15. I have a 12. Seven. Okay. I'm going to have to wrap around here a little bit, but that's okay.

I'm gonna do it like this and like this. Can you see all of them? Yeah. Oh, that is great. Spread it out. Actually, I might be after, eh, I'm not gonna use that gold thing. I'll remember what we're at. Yeah, it's difficult with the mic. All good. Okay. Um, so we start with Grico. You see, uh, uh, you see Torbeck in front of you. He is, uh, like I said, stealthily, deadly quiet. Uh, you can see him rapidly breathing, but he doesn't appear to be making any noise. And, uh, we, even with how quickly this, has happened, you managed to have gotten a jump on him. So he looks like he's basically like a monster coming to attack us. Like that is unmistakable. Yes. We still kind of see him as Torbeck.

You can tell that it's Torbeck, but something is nearly wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. What I'm going to do is I'm going to say, uh, and Tobik was a... Oh! Ha! Ha!

Ha! And then I'm going to uh, grab my ocarina, do a little ditty. And once again, the Frog E-Meth Ava suit is going to emerge around me in this astral shimmering form as I am going to have it. I guess I will, but I think I'm here, run here and attempt to basically stop Torbeck

with a lash of its mighty tongue. And I'm going to make an attack as I say, Who did she get away from Uncle Nice? And with that, I am going to, I'm going to make a range spell attack against Torbeck. That is going to miss. The tongue, I guess, crashes away. It misses entirely.

And that is, he's a full action in Wild Shape, right? Yeah. Okay, that is my turn. The moment Torbeck sees any motion within the inn. and sees that you cast the spell as it misses, he immediately lashes out. His left arm, almost faster than you're prepared for, shoots forward, and all five of the nails, claws on his left hand

extend instantly in long needle-like formations is directly at you, Gricko. You are unable to get out of the way. You were not prepared for this long-range attack as it is, and they sink deep into your right shoulder. You just got lust from full-knock metal. Oh, no. Oh, no. You immediately feel this hot venom, poison,

seep deep into your flesh as you begin to blow painfully. Your flesh swells as if some sort of horrific allergic reaction. Your speed is halved. You may only take an action or bonus action, not both. And if the attack action has already been taken, you can only attack once. he won't be able to attack twice in a turn. That is his legendary action.

Frostorov. Oh, he's got legendary actions. Are you okay, buddy? Of course he does. Grigo, are you all right? I'm scared to be on the capacity for rational font. I'm so sorry I can get your bandage, but that's about as much as more medicinal abilities extend. Oh, I know how Fico felt.

Torbeck, Torbeck. Calm down, Torbeck. I don't want to have to do this. but I will if I... You know... Not like this. I will reach out with my mind. No, I did not.

I can't speak for the other side. Oh, shit. I'm going to psychically lash out with my mind and I'm going to attempt to hurt and stun this strange warped torbeck in front of me. I will give him Frost's mind whip. Oh. So he needs to make an intelligent saving throw.

And I'm going to save... I'm going to spend three of my beans to heighten this for the purposes of a disadvantage. Sure. Oh, I get disadvantaged. You get disadvantaged. Okay. Well, okay. I got an 11. That's going to fail, and that means... Oh, I'm sorry. I got a 16. I apologize. Oh, I think he means geishido.

Sorry, I got a 34. Just a 16. Yeah. I'll move forward 10 feet and I'll say to Twitter. Get behind me. We're not sure exactly what happened, but please try not to kill him. He was a friend of ours. Okay, but... Not if we can help it. Okay.

And that'll be the conclusion of my turn. All right, layer action. After dodging these first couple of attacks, shaking off what's going on, you, again, you start to see Torbeck's flesh move and shift, and he almost elongates more, and his spine contorts in a weird direction. His limbs are moving and contorting in ways. that you're not very sure of, and he appears to be more fluid and almost made of rubber at this point. Cremie, you're up. I will... Are his fingers still in...

Dricko? No, as soon as the poison was... Or whatever, it appeared to be, was deposited. He retract them back. I will... I think Torbeg reverse mosquitoed me. Tons five.

Oh, God, does he have rebuscis? It's a lot of it? No, he's reverse suckling him. He pumped him full of signs. Oh, no. Are you pregnant? Oh, no. Are you five times?

It's a verboscible. Cremi, you get the sense that after seeing what the shifting that Torbeck has just done, that attacks against him are a disadvantage for the round. Attacks against, okay, got it. I'll say, Tobin, I don't know if you're here to collect on your past wages. I'll make good on that.

But you leave us the fuck alone and you go the fuck away. And if you decide not to, I apologize what we have to do. And you'll see my shadow will be sort of moving with the fire behind us. And it'll be sort of moving.

And it'll start to kind of wiggle back and forth, kind of separate from my body, kind of moving more than it should, and then all of a sudden, the light from the fire and my shadow will sort of go out, and the shadow will kind of shoot to the bottom of my feet and start to crawl up all over me as ominous jazz plays. And I become a pure silhouette of Cremie.

And where you saw all the... Outlines and details. There are now neon lines and sigils and etchings all over me and my pinstripes are now pinstripes of neon light as I am pure shadow and glow as I use a form of dread. Nice. I get temporary hit points.

What a twist. Oh, wait, a form, form of dread. I get in temporary hit points. I'm getting temporary hit points equal to 1D10 plus my warlock level. So that's nine temporary headpoints. Oh. I was gonna keep track on that right here real quick. Once during each of my turns, when I hit a creature with an attack roll, I can force it

to make a wisdom saving throw, and if it fails, it's frightened of me. Oh, very cool. Also, I'm immune to the frightened condition. Oh. So I feel horror and disgust, but then as I harness the power, of my patron and I call my shadow and become one with it. I feel this deathly resolve as I feel the baron, the good baron looking down on me. And that is, I believe, a bonus action. Nice. Now I take my turn. So this is the first time we've had actual combat. And then what I

will do is... Well, my next trick. I will... He does a backflip. And then. And then. I will take my cane and I'll say, let's see if a curse works on you. And I'll kind of sort of spin it around and trace a kind of an eldritch glyph in the air as I cast Bain.

Nice. Bain. So make a charisma saving from. That's where tormenting to my. I feel. Oh, great. So, You can twist of dread it.

You could twist it. Not yet. DC's 15. So whenever you, a target that fails a saving throw makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, the target must roll a D4 and subtracted number rolled from the attack or saving throw. Sure. Delicious. I pass my turn.

Okay. You don't pass it. You used it. No, that was very good. Am I able to get to get in? Oh, and I back up. One million percent, yes. Yeah.

I have 50 movement. He stands resolving. I don't think so. You're going to get to him twice. Torbeck is watching these things happen around him. You can see that his eyes narrow as a hunter might watch its prey and sees that Gideon has been a little slow on the uptake and immediately dashes after him. I got it, Thorbeck.

While in this movement, this lightning fast movement, you see that those needle-like fingers on the end of his left hand and on his right hand, the flesh begins. to shift and change and grow into almost what looks like some amalgamation of flesh and bone knives instead of hands and claws as he makes two claw attacks against my poor friend Gideon. Love that for you. This is going to be like that scene from Resident Evil where the person walks through the laser grid and just turns into Q. What is it just turned off? A 19 and a 23. Oh, yeah.

No, that'll be it. Close, close. So the first attack is against someone who hasn't made any moves yet, so it's going to double the number of dice. Oh, wait. Sorry, so one will definitely hit. Did you roll a D4 to subtract from the heads? No, I didn't.

Which one would you like to subtract from the lower one? Will they both, but I don't think he's going to hit either way on the second, but the first one that was a 19. I will lower both by four, so the 19 becomes a 15. Oh, that would miss. So the one, the other one still, yes, I believe. Bain. Bain.

So it's going to be. Yeah. I would be for you. Bain is a bitch, man. Yeah. Someone, I'll sort of take my hand out. It's going to find a safe Gideon. Four, ten, ten slashing damage and ten poison damage.

20 total damage. We're going to be fine. Goodbye, Gideon. We're going to be fine. That I would not. not be one shot by that attack. Oh, it's, oh yeah, it's Twig's turn. And a lying pig

with the petunia on its head comes in and shoots straight towards Torback as Twig calls in her familiar and she looks over to you, Kremi. Us warlocks have to stand together, you know? I like grin and wing. And then she jumps up and jane. Pitonia, get him.

And Pig Tuna is going to flip around you, just doing unknown things. And you will see actually something similar overcome Twig. She's a brownie. And for those of you that may be familiar, I would say all of you are familiar with the fairy tales of brownies.

You piss off a brownie, they can turn into bogards. Similar to creamy shadow, lurking behind this tiny form is the shadow of a large, monstrous creature. It hasn't come to fruition yet, but as she moves, this visage of the bogger moves with her. And she is going to move forward, four spaces, and turn towards, no, forward towards, yeah, there, thank you. Four spaces, and she is going to, she's going to throw up hex on you. She's going to use a spell flot to hex.

Okay. And then she is going to cast her Eldridge Blanch on you. Oh, you are a disadvantage. She is a disadvantage. Well, it's not gonna matter. Yep. Oh, you hit Gideon. 24.

That hits. And I can't use my bonus action this round because I hacked, but I get to do. get to do this one. God, I haven't played a warlock in forever. It's so weird. That's the B2M. 15 points of force damage. This is the first noise that you hear

Torbeck make as you land this devastating blow. His fur and flesh singes, and he howls in pain and almost reels back for a moment as you've landed a nice hit. She looks out at you with her arm outstretched, Sapulna, watch over me. You will not destroy this in you horrifying creature. Do you understand me?

Even if you're kind of cute and all that disgusting mess. We could be friends here, okay? He's not. But don't kill him. No, you have horrible taste. He's really ugly. I just like everybody I kid up. Pigtunia, don't let him out of your sight.

And you notice that Pigtunia, who is just essentially a teacup pig with a petunia on her head, does have these, pink wings out of her back as she flies around to her back, keeping her snout on you. And that's Twig's turn. This is definitely some super smash shit. After Twix's turn, having made these attacks and suffered a blow from the Eldridge Blast,

again, right hand will shoot out towards Cremie. And these needle-like appendages, from knives to needles almost instantly, will shoot out and catch you right in the middle of your chest. You begin to feel again that that's the same sort of burning fire within you. Something is being pumped into your veins unwillingly. And I need you to make a Constitution D.C. saving throw, please. Oh, no, are you pregnant too?

This is an attack role, right? No, this is happening. He's going to be preganante. Oh, no, you're pregnant. Probably pass with a... 20. You do pass. So the only thing that happens is that the creature begins the glow with the silver light and cannot become invisible or unseen. And that's it. Okay. Okay. Getting you're up. All right. That's another legendary action.

Right before all this happened and I was letting my cigar, oh my God, you go a fake cigar. Oh, and I still have my cigarette. Yeah, he's a fake cigar. I just produced flame to create a flame in my hand as we, uh, lit our enjoyment. And as Torbeck breaks in, I'd crush the flame in my palm, and I would ignite my beard in my hair and

activate my flame form, my Friddy's might. And then Torbett would run in and fucking gut me. That's how I'm standing up feeling and run out cool. Shut up. Well, you ugly strong,

a bitch. Here I go. You're a ugly bastard, and now you're a fragmented. All right, and I will roll an attack. You are a disadvantage. That's so fucking good. Holy shit. 11?

There's no way, though. That's a mess. You can use a twist. Yeah, absolutely. We're twisting up. I'll just take a little twistful. You did just take 20 points in. Yeah.

And this is our first combo. Oh, 17. That's a miss. Oh no. I'm sorry to inform you. That's not. We saw a bonus action. Yeah.

That was my bonus action. It was activated my form form. We'll twist it again. You're kidding this. Oh, gosh. Oh, okay. 26. That's a hit.

Oh, that's a hit. That's a hit. Okay, okay. Okay. Is that a real cigar? Looks real? Don't answer that question. No, if he lights your own, it'll explode.

What? Disrob your attack. We'll find it when we find it? I hope it is an exploding cigar. It'll like flare out like one of those old cartoon like mufflers when it explodes in one of those, uh... and whatever. You guys aren't too young for that, Joe. No, I know what you're talking about.

Yeah, the Mooney Toots cigar. Thank you. All right, so it would be 19 damage total. Okay. And finally, what will happen is I would lunge out with my fist and just punch you in whatever, I don't know, like whatever your form is looking like, whatever it looked like the most,

go for the key. Punchable spot. The kidneys are gonna be behind him. I can't get behind him. He moves like Sonic the Hedgehog. No, that. Yeah. You can hit him right in that spot between your boob and your arm.

like a really soft spot right there that hurts. So I'm gonna be here. Punch him in the Gregel. Yeah. Yeah. I'll shoot for the ribs. I'll shoot for the ribs. Yeah.

Right in the coin perj. And then you'll see as my, like, as I crush the flame and it spreads across my body and my hair ignites, you'll hear the war of my manacles begin to kick in. And as I land the punch, they'll roar to life. life for the first time and go, as the chains will whip around you, and you are now grappled by flaming chains. Is that automatic or is there a problem?

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You have to make a strength saving throw. Okay. Minus P4 for pain. Thank you. That's right. Oh, I meant to ask you, what does Hex do? Oh, it just gives me extra damage.

Okay. You can choose an ability, when you make ability checks with something. Yeah, but so there's no points. You said strength saving throw? Strength save. Okay. Torbeck does have advantage in grappling checks. It's not a grapple check. It's just a strength save.

So this isn't like a grapple contest, just straight up strength save throw? This is the effect of my chain. So it's just a strength save. Thank you. Because you'll actually be restrained if you fail and not grapple. Roger.

I got a nine total. after the Bain. Well, you're restrained for one minute. Sure. And restrained is, remind me. You can't, oh. I think I can't move. Right?

You can't move your just made it disad... Oh, I get it. Speed becomes zero. Can't benefit from any bonus to its speed. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage.

Okay. The creature's attack rolls have disadvantage. The creature has disadvantage on Dex's saving throws. Okay. You can repeat the save at the end of your turn. Okay. Restricted, speed zero, repeat.

Got it. Is that the end of June of Gideon? I got that, you know. I'll take that as yes. I couldn't understand. Having received this crushing blow to the ribs, you feel that you connect. It looked like you weren't going to get

there and that maybe Torbuck was a little too shifty, but you're able to connect and deal a good amount of damage. For the last legendary action, Torback will almost make a wild sweeping motion with his claws and attempt to catch Frost with a claw attack. It's going to be a disadvantage to the restriction. Yeah, yeah, attack rolls. 19 to hit. Yeah. Oh, barely misses. Vaily misses. They nearly missed.

Frost, you will take 13 total points of damage, five of which are poison. Okay. Top of the round, Grico. Oh. At the beginning of your turn, though, you notice that all of a sudden, starting this close to this horrifying, terrifying,

terrifying creature, you'll have to make a DC Wisdom Saving Thor to see if you are frightened for one minute. Being in the presence of this enlarged, elongated tourback is horrifically frightening. Yes. You're going away from this diet. It's going like, oh my goodness. What? Oh, oh, oh.

Oh. Me too, Bricko. Oh, oh. This is like when shredder became super-threatter. I think you have to move away from me. I can't move closer to you. I'm 100% moving away from you. moving away from you.

You're disadvantaged on all attacks, as long as you're within sight. Oh, oh no. He's gonna eat her. Hey, pull us on. Feel the piss pumping through my van, you. No, I'm all bloated. And I'm gonna be like, I'm trying, we're making one.

Blueberry attempt to roll. Wait, what was my movement? How was it? Hold on, I'm sorry. You move in is halved. And you can only take an action or bonus action, not both. It doesn't say how long this lasts, though, Mike. I think it just at the end of the turn, it's a repeat of saving throw.

Right? There was no saving throw. I think the intention of the end of the... Then at the end of your turn, it will be done. It would be the repeat of a saving throw. Yeah. That makes sense. Well, didn't you do a wisdom saving throw?

No, not for this one. This happens. I can only go three. I'm like stumbling. No, I roll off. Roll over a table. I roll over a table. Oh, oh.

Watching someone play ballroom. It's your pulsing aura of fears. This one, yeah. Yeah. It's just, it happens automatically if you're within a certain condition. Yeah, I'm going to look at the end and I'll say,

And I'm just kidding. Do that. I'm an easily learned. You're not. And I'm gonna get the second level. And that's my turn. So do my legendary actions refresh at the top of the round or at the beginning of my turn?

Correct, yep. Oh, I also thought it's a toddler. So yeah, you've used one. You've used two. Well, you went, right? Oh, use after one after Twiggan, then Gideon. Sorry. So you used one, then you refreshed.

Yes, you're right. So you should have two. Yep, that's right. Thank you. No worries. I appreciate that. Great. Thank you.

Yeah. I got to maintain that. You forgot to assign homework. No, no, I appreciate that. As I'm going to run and I'm just going to call back and I can't do an action. So that's my, that's it. That's my turn. After Gricker walls away, again with the, with the pain.

Sorry, continue. Hootsie is going to look and despite my, he's going to see me so afraid. she's gonna charge up an attempt to no Hootsie don't get close attack you I can't attack Rootsie that's fucked up though

He's got needles With him She's got She grabs Hootty and tears her in half Like a telephone phone You just get a Hootsie back And she dies

Imagine Jesus Like that's what she gets For poor Frederick Oh She gets a 12 to hit. That is a miss.

Okay, that's that. Hootie, no, don't do it. Again, with these chains wrapped around Torbeck, he begins thrashing again wildly and attempts to make a swipe at... How far away are you there from, McCremant? Only 10 feet.

That's plenty. Even a bugger has reason. With this unbelievable, with unbelievably long limbs, almost like a whipping motion, the knife-clad hand comes slashing at you to make an attack at disadvantage. Does he get to say, you're a bugger. Oh, yeah, that's going to be a miss. Easy miss. You see these claws coming in and in your shadowy form, you almost very calmly just step out of the way. You always were worthless, tallback.

Jesus. Frost his turn. Frost is up. So that was another legendary. Seeing that he is restrained, I will reconsider my action and I will endeavor to do what I have been doing, which is essentially just trying to get inside of his head. Just to do as much damage as possible. I will have Torbeck make an intelligence saving throw. I'm silently now just reaching out and pushing forward with my psionic energy as much as possible. This one is not a disadvantage, but I will be bained.

I do have to, I don't know if it's written anywhere, but that list that you have in front of you that I wrote down, if that's enacted, the person it's enacted on is it disadvantaged on all of their attacks? Oh, thank you. That's important to know because of what's happening. Great, got it.

Well, I rolled Max on the vein, but I still got a 17. No, I do nothing. Oh, no, no, no, I can, you know what? I can do nothing. I'm gonna use my bonus. bonus action to attempt to give you a telekinetic shove. Just a little boop. Let me just see how this works. I've never done this before.

As a bonus action, I reach out and I try to push you with my mind and I will, you need to succeed a strength saving throw. Sure. I absolutely fail. I rolled zero. Because of the Bain. Oh. This is right. Um. I move you five feet away from me. Nice. I'm still in reach of all.

I'm forced pushing you. Well, he's here and so he's here now. Um, there. Arms are like 30 feet. I can't believe I've done absolutely nothing. This feels like when Gandalf and Zarmond fighting the guy. I'm just, I'm just,

break dancing. Nothing's happening. The sound engineer's like, wow, those are some shiny floors. We're gonna really squeak the shit out of it. Squeak, you know, add more fucking squeak! What a good use of Christopher Lee's talent. I'll get the fuck out of the way.

I'll go into the corner. I'm gonna get to the bottom of the stairs, the bottom of the next to the bar. Would that be an opportunity attack because you're within 10 feet of him? Yeah, I have a 50 foot reach. This is going down. That would be on.

I don't think you can take reactions right now, can you? Oh, is reactions part of, I don't remember that. That's hate. That's slow. No, you can take a reaction and just be on, it would be a disadvantage. Just to disabend. I'm going to take an attack of opportunity. Yeah, Frost one would have known.

He breakdances into the corner. You never catch me. That's only at 12. I hold Max Bain again. Uh-huh, can't catch me. I'm the fucking Zionic cat. Can I cast the Cyanautiac? Torbeth here's ominous jazz in his ears. Still wrapped up in these changes that Gideon has trapped Torbeck in.

Torbeck almost hunches down, and the fur and flesh on his back undulates upwards, and the fur begins to bristle. The apparatus that are strewn amongst his shoulders and back into glow, bright magenta, as this magenta dust comes off of them, and this thick miasma hangs in the air that smells absolutely disgusting. casting. Oh, no. Any creature?

What's the Petsch? Oh, God, picture. Any creature that moves within 30 feet of Torbeck or starts their turn must succeed on a DC Constitution saving throw or vomit and be stunned until their next turn. Oh! Creming you up. I'm going to need to make that Constitution saving throw. It's an Ipecac attack. It's exactly.

Oh. I'm rolling hot tonight. Dread. You can dread me if you want. No. No, no, no, no. You can use my pool of dreads. 20.

You are free to use my pool of dreads. You've got a lot of love of dread. That's right, that's right, thank you. Have freedom to just fuck with us. So you still do have, oh no, you're immune to fears, so you don't have to make this time. I am, yeah, so I, uh, oh, well, you know, I should still, or does it work, I don't know if it works

like other fears where like once you pass, you're immune for 24 hours or whatever. Yes, that is the case. Okay, so now I should still roll. If you want. And if I fail, I'll still be. immune and that way for some reason this falls off. I won't have to know. You're immune from one hour if you pass the safe. Okay. I fail. But you're immune for Tafiriting. Um, uh, I'll say, Tobay, I don't know what they're paying you to do this. It doesn't feel like you. But either way, we got to put you down and I'm going to point my cane at him and, uh, from the, the skull on the cane that will glow this purple and bolts of purple and green will streak out.

almost as neon eerie light, and we'll shoot, or I guess just one bolt will shoot at Torbeck. I believe you are at advantage, because I'm restrained. Oh, yeah, well, aren't we also a disadvantage? Not anymore. Oh, okay. This is L'EGELD, and it is a 22.

That hits. And I'm gonna roll. And the chat has decided you are also now Angela. Nice. I like that. Or I can be Angela too. It's Angela spelled A-M-D. E, G, L.A.

That's pretty good. Seven points of force damage. You got it. And I will... Angela and Angelo. I would definitely try to at least get behind Gideon, so if that's an opportunity attack. I don't have the one.

I've already used my reaction. You're now a raggedy, Angela. All right, get in there and get him. But I am going to use the last of my reaction at the end of Cremies turn. And Torbeck was, after receiving this hit from Cremie, going to go for him, but Cremie has since taken shelter behind Gideon, who is now taking the brunt of the attack. I'm in here. I'm fucking in here, man. Good job, Gidt.

That's going to be a 23-hap. Yeah, 23-A. Oh, yeah. Fuck. 15 points of damage, five of which are poisoned. Is that, is that... Just a damage time. If it doesn't have any pertaining to you, then it doesn't matter. So 15 total of 15, yes.

Okay. You're still up? I thought you're gonna turn into a fire gen. Oh, see? Start, real quick, please. I hit you, right? You did. You just need to make a wisdom saving through DC15.

Uh-oh, for me. Wisdom saving throw DC 15. Oh, plus the bane, correct? Plus the bane. Oh. Uh, that's gonna be. be close. 16. Okay, you pass. Very close. I rolled again, max on Bain. There you go.

Same is doing work, by the way. Okay, it is Torbeck's turn. You'll take six damage from the, as the chains flame up and burn you. And I will roll for the restraint at the end of my turn? The end of your turn. So you just wouldn't be able to move. Yep. And our disadvantage on attacks, I think you're the only thing there is relevant. Okay, everybody is running. Running. You're horrible monster. It's filled my bread bowl. I'm gonna make two attacks, one on Gideon, one on Grico.

I'm still in range, yeah. I believe I can hit him. I'm 100%. You said you had 15 range, right? Yeah, no, I'm a million percent. First one's gonna be on Gideon. I'm crushing you, I'm crushing your head. That's gonna be a 24 to hit. Okay.

Yeah. The next attack on Grico is going to be a miss. That's going to be a miss. The damage on Gideon is only 10 points of damage. I'm slump to the ground. Are you unconscious? Yeah, I'm unconscious. You have like 30 points of damage.

I am still the DM. You do this, but your limb's shaking, you had had the bean milk. And as you feel your conscious sleeve you, you come to with one hip point. Yes! What the fuck was that? I thought I lost you.

You okay? Yeah. Well, no. I mean, I'm feeling better than I was just a minute ago when I think I was dead. Is he still prone? No. Well, yeah, I mean, he's still on the ground.

So he falls down. Yeah. Then I will, not mechanically, but I'll try to reach down and offer my hand for the next time he gets up. Am I still restraint? Do I need to still save on the restraint or with the restrained drop? I would say the restraint would drop if he goes unconscious.

It just says it lasts for a minute. I mean, I don't know. If it's concentration. It's not concentration. I would make a save and just see and, and strength anything. I'm gonna call it as the DM that no. Okay.

Because I think going forward in combat, if Gideon goes unconscious, his chains are gonna fall limp. That's fair. He's not like, yeah, you would not be restrained anymore. Then that. That will be helpful for me later on. Seeing Frost run away, Torbeck is going to, even though having already used his attacks, continue to hunt you down and use all of his movement to pounce towards Frost as quickly as he

possibly can. Torbeck, you stepped on Frederick. Oh no, Frederick! I think he's dead, guys! Yeah, I think he's gone, I'm sorry, sorry, Twig. Twig, sir. Oh, it is Twig. I can't believe. the shit. And you'll see that she grows by like six inches.

And she starts to, her nails get a little bit longer. Her eyes go a little bit wild. Her hair starts to frizz out as she is, she's boggling or she's boagering. I love that. She's slowly bogerton. Oh yeah. She's not, she's not there yet.

And she is going to pig tunia and do your worst. And she's going to use her bonus action to give pigtoon. attack against you. Okay. It is not a disadvantage. Roll it straight. So Pigtunia is going to you. She is immediately next to you. She is going to reach out and she is going to use Faye snout. And she is going to breathe in the smell of you and then sneeze all over you. And this glittery, magical Faye energy is going to be all over you. Is she an advantage? Oh, God. Yes!

That's pretty good. Both of those are pretty good. 22 to hit. That's a hit. All right, perfect. It's going to do a ton of damage as it does five points of piercing damage. I need to make a Constitution saving throw, please. Certainly.

I'm still banned. Oh, teacher, did you use your proboscis? Not yet. Okay. I don't know if you got one on your turn. if you got one on your turn. Um, my legendary actions are all back. I haven't used any of them yet.

Unless you're referencing something else. I rolled a 17. Okay, nothing happens. I am then going to make an attack against you and that's 20 to hit. That's a hit. Rollin like hot fire. And that's 13.2.

Is that your name? 13. Wow. Okay, nice. Force damage. Do you like attacking? Alright. It's okay, Big Junia. We will, we will do a whole of ceremony for Frederick once all of this is over.

And we clean everything up. Kidion's up? Yeah. Gideon, go. Well, okay. I told you that bean juice was good. Get up, buddy. Yeah, I'm glad to drag that.

Oh, thank you. Well, here comes another one. And I'll shoot for another. Another gut shot to meet and tour. Sure. You can get there. Oh, natural 20. We burned all of them for our nature.

Yeah, yeah. Jimmy needs a win. Baby, yeah, you're telling me. I don't think anyone needs a win, but me. I'm an evil DM. So I don't think I have anything to prox on. Oh, wait, wait, wait. You were nice, Andy.

For now, I mean, he's probably got like six power word kills locked in the you can die 17 21 21 and attack rolls on you should see 21 points of bludgeoning damage

Nice attack rolls on you will have advantage until the start of my next turn nice Oh shit from the Crusher Feet Oh yeah Oh yeah Does that mean you can move them too from the punch

He moved five feet, but I'll like him where he's at. Get him away from me. As you land, as you land this crushing blow, you see Torbeck reel back, and he begins to breathe even more quickly. Only now you can hear his breath. It's ragged. It's vicious and violence, and it seems to only anger him. Oh, shit.

Oh, and I'll bonus action. Second wind. Oh, yeah. I can at least a little bit. Oh no. This is a G10, right? Oh. Oh. That's still.

It's all. Six ceiling. Yeah, that's all I. Bricko, you're up. You're outside of the... I forgot to do the aura for... Oh, I didn't do it were either. I know, but it's okay.

I'm not going to take back the damage you guys dealt. It's all good. Grico's outside the range anyway, so we're good to go. I'm too terrified. And I'm still bloated because I failed all my saving throws at the end of my turn. No, no, no. The bloated flesh should just pass it out of the target as there was no save for that one. Oh, okay, got it.

It just happened. Okay, so then I'm no longer bloated. I'm still afraid. Your flesh deswells. The inflammation goes down and you seem to be more bacteria. Oh, I'm not on the pew. Oh, I feel like an empty Capri, son. Oh, you look like one, too.

Oh, gosh. Torbeck, you're very... Oh, I can't get any closer to you. Oh, no. You can repeat the safe? Probably at the end of my turn. Probably. I'm checking.

That doesn't say. We'll say it on a turn. I'm going to... Oh, I can't do it. Okay, Mr. Froggy, Miss Piel, please help me and guide with your very long tongue. tongue tobeck for me. I love this so much.

As, as I guess apparently my croquim is themed to Evangelion. As I cast guiding bolt as part of my druid ability. You have advantage if it's something kind of attack. But I'm disadvantaged. Because I'm not sure.

So straight, okay. Natural 20. I don't have to expend it because it's part of my druid ability. So that'll be 8D6 of radiant damage. Okay. And whoever attacks next on Torbuk is advantage. Oh. It's a lot of advantage going on.

Six. Great. Eight. 13. Okay. 13. 13. 22 points of radiant damage.

Yeah, that's huge. Nice. I love how the theme song for that fucking show, and then 20 minutes into an episode, they're like, what is existence? This guiding bolt crashes through the inn and connects with Torbeck, and you hear him scream again, beastiless. He looks over his shore. I'm sorry. Sorry, Toback. We didn't mean to make fun of you. Oh, and what I was saying, Gideon is, like, you need to remember eat your bananas. And I give you a healing word. And I heal you again. I've never forgotten that you aren't going to.

As soon as the guiding bolt lands, one arm is going for Frost. The other arm, without missing a beat, reaches back behind Torbeck as he shoots again a single solitary needle finger and connects directly in the middle of your chest. You're expecting to swell again. You think, oh no, it's happening again.

But instead, this time, your insides are on fire. and you're going to have to make, you're gonna take some damage at the start of the turn and we'll get there. But it feels like your insides are acid. Foss, you're up. Six points of healing me out. Oh!

I'm gonna roll from fear. I choose to fail. I choose to fail. I'm fucking afraid. I choose to piss my pants. Can I use one twist? Let me use one twist. Wait, actually, no, there's no way. There's still no way.

I'm going to make one more two. Just try it. Okay, I'm no longer feared. And you are on me in for one hour. Thank you. Frosty. Torbeck, I'm not sure what's happened to you. You need to stop this right now.

I'm going to attempt to grip. Instead of attack, I'm going to essentially walk to the back door of the mind and effectively just grab you by the spine and paralyze you. Okay. You need to make a wisdom saving throw. Stink check? Or are we saving that for next round? Oh, stink check?

He's right next to him. Yeah, I'm... Well, I didn't make anybody else do it. I completely... I made you do it and you succeeded. That was it. Okay. So I'm gonna just... I messed that up.

That's on me. We'll keep going. So wisdom saving throw with the bane. With the bane. Oh, boy. You know what, Derek. Torbik, with the bane. You might be useful.

I got a 13. Fail. Oh! I sionically hold you. You are paralyzed. At the end of each of your turns, you can make an additional wisdom saving throw in order to end this spell.

It's whole person. You are paralyzed. You cannot take actions, reactions, you cannot speak or move, you fail strength and deck saving throws automatically. Attacks that you have advantage and hits automatically crit. Oh, holy shit.

Okay, is that your turn? So. I have him, I have him quickly. Everyone, take him down, take him down, take him down. Um, layer action. I can't take a legendary action because I'm paralyzed. Yeah, the layer action should still work. Yeah, and action, I'm going to argue that the layer action is going to work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, as Torbeck is held there, you see his wounds begin to close. Oh, Chris. Creming, you're up. Oh, shoot. All right, good work, Frost, and I'm going to, uh, Actually, let me see if we're gonna do anything else. You probably can take legendary actions. That's okay.

I don't have any legendary actions. I'm not going to bite them. Yeah, I would have assumed that falls in like a spell. Well, actually, sorry. No, no, I have legendary actions. I don't have legendary resistances. No, I know. I'm saying that the spell says you can't take actions.

Yeah, but legendary actions are not actions. So you can still be able to do your legendary actions. That's how I would do it if I were the DM. I'd be held, but like, I'd still be like, however you want to do. Is it very clear that he's like being held by Frost? I'm like, I think he's like almost nearly 11. If that's the case then, before you take your turn,

I'm gonna needle you in the chest and you're gonna take some, you're gonna feel your blood. Let's see if I keep on them holding my concentration. Your blood begins to boil a heat up inside of you and you think at the start of your next year, you're gonna take some damage. Oh, is that a roll to hit? No.

Oh, it does that? Yeah, you're so close and it's so fast that you don't even know that it's happening until you have tormack in your grip and you feel a pinch. In your side is this needle sinks deep into your ribs. Quickly, I don't know how much longer I can hold him. Prime of Europe. All right, kid.

Beside you, and I'm going to walk up. On your left. I'm going to take my cane, and I'm going to touch it against Torpeg's skin as he's paralyzed, and you're going to hear these sort of like whales of souls and tortured individuals and maybe a lot of regret from deals gone wrong as this necrotic force will spread in this eerie glow and consume Torbeck as I cast inflict wounds. Damn. And I need me a melee spell attack.

It is at advantage. I hear that. I got the extended warranty. Frosty, are we the bad guys? It's an auto-crit. That right now. Yes, so that's 24. I'm going to cash in one dread.

Oh. There we go. This is in Flick Wiers, too. It's a big one. It's a big one. Okay. You can dream me again, but it's a 22. Nah, you earned it.

Okay. Let's fucking go. Inflict wounds is a 3D10, so it's 6D10. Woo. It's a big one. You don't have some D. D10s I can borrow. Where'd all my D10s go? Here. I've got four D10 for you. Right on the gate.

Thank you. One, two, three, four, five, six. Cool. And they spin in the interior. 10, 18, crocodile out of gate. 24, 30, 33, 34 points of necrotic damage. 34? Yep. Nice.

Oh, wait, hold on. Second level or higher. He's by 1D10, so it's actually at a second level, so I need to roll. Sorry, two more. That's okay. 34, 44, 47 points of necrotic. Lethika hates you right now. Lethika hates you. Well, the free crits just make it.

You deal a large amount of damage to this horrific form that's in front of you. Torback is looking rough. I mean, even more rough than he is in this bizarre state. But his wounds do begin to close. Be careful up here, man. He's juicing on something. Torbeck's turn. I cannot do anything other than take a legendary action, perhaps after Kremi's turn, and attempt to roll to break the paralysis.

That is my understanding. I am going to use my legendary action on Kremi to also use the caustic blood. You are hit with a needle because you got so close to Torbeck, and at the beginning of your turn, you're going to take some damage. We're all going to fucking like just melt. We got it. So what is the saving throw for the Ralph? DC saving throw, yeah, DC 15 wisdom saving throw.

I'm not at disadvantage for any reason, just Bain. Just Bain. Thank you for that. And you have enough Bane? Bain's going to make a difference and I'm supposed to take damage. I should take the damage first. I can use a dread to rerold this.

I'm going to re-roll this. I would re-roll this. I would rerun. I'm gonna keep the bane roll, and I'm gonna re-roll the 20. Yeah, that's gonna be a six. 7-11. Yeah, there you go. I knew it's gonna happen. I knew it.

I tried my best. So the paralysis will break, but that's my whole turn. I get my legendary reactions back. That did crazy work. Yeah. Twig. I mean, we'd have 47 points of damages. And I feel, I feel weak.

If we get through this, you can have some bean milk. Put him again. Hence a big tony, the pictunia is going to attempt to snort you again. Okay. Am I advantaged, disadvantaged, regular advantaged? I was advantaged from paralysis,

but that's gone. Sub-regular. You would be advantage from Crusher. Crusher is my turn. Yep, so you are still advantaged. So you would have advantage. Unless you have disadvantaged from... I rolled two 15s plus 1219.

Those both hit? Oh, no, it was just one. Then a hit. You're going to take so much. damage from Pig 2 in you. One D4. Six points of damage. Nice.

Mass damage from Pig Tunia. How do you want to do this? Can she just snorts this glittery dust all over you? I need a constitution saving throw from you, please. Okay. I'm still being. Can you push the camera? Oh, that's a mega fail. I fail.

What do you get? Negative one. One more. Okay. You are going to. I can't believe this works. Yeah. You're going to take six points of poison damage.

Okay. You're poisoned for one minute. Okay. And if the check is five or lower, you fall unconscious. The DC was 11. What spell is this? It is called Fay Touch. It is something that Fay Warlock's pixies or familiars get. And I have the ability to let her attack on your turn.

The Fay deaf grip. So you fall on your chair. Man, that's like a silver bullet combined with the right definition. I'm gonna take that away from me. No, I don't care. Take it right. I have to dread it. I gotta dread it.

You said it's a DC-11? It's a DC-11. And it's what wisdom you said? Yeah. No, Constitution. Constitution. Oh, Constitution. Still take the damage, it's only if it's fiber lower.

I got a 10. So I still take the damage. So you still take that damage, which I think was six points of damage, six more points of damage, but you don't fall in on this. Six pig damage, I think. If you have any resistance to pick up. Glitter.

I'm dead. It's super affected by big. It's six glitter pig damage. It's super effective. You see that this does a lot of damage. And Torbeck is trying to shrug off the effects of this face spell. But his wounds do you begin to close a little bit more? Great, Joe Pic Tunia. Oh, I love you so much.

I'm gonna protect your promise. And then I'm gonna shoot an Eldridge blast. Oh, yeah. And that is also an advantage. Yes. Great. So does a 26 hit? Yes, it does. It does.

And so you'll take 19 points of before. Okay. Oh, sorry. Torex's looking rough. Doroics looking rough. Getting in your out. I would go to attack, but I would miss aggressively. Just one more round.

One person would have been. Love that is just filled with dreaded, dreaded, dread it. I'm gonna action surge. I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna look. within myself. You have a bonus action too. Don't fit.

All my bonus actions are based on me hitting my attack. No, they're not. What? They're not. Just as long as they use the attack action. I'm missing. I think back to Paul. The natural 20.

Yeah. Oh, you son of a bitch. Like a trudium. Like a trudium. I was so proud of you, Andy. I look within myself and I find that that extra deep pit that I need to pull that another natural plenty

remember when I did that with you yes I felt the ripple in the Easter oh my god I could feel I was like you know well done a literal sign out there were you all right oh the plane of fire speaks to me it's beautiful that is good go get ready for one D-8 smash ultimate theme start playing plus five, 12 plus one. Holy shit. I get one of those every five years. Oh my God.

I can't believe that. And I think, okay. So we have 17 points of damage. Okay. And I'm gonna bonus action attempt to grapple you. And we have to roll a strength contest. What kind of damage is the 17th? Just bludgeoning and five fire damage.

Okay. So 12 points of bludgeoning, five points of fire damage. Okay. You notice when you land this hit that Torbeck's wounds are not closing as rapidly as they were previously. Oh. You can make the grapple attack. I will attempt to play strength saving throw.

The fire rises, brother. So it's a contest. So if you're better at Agrobatics, Or deck. Wait, this one's a context? This one's a context? We roll against each other. Okay, I have advantage when that happens.

Well, I also have advantage. Nice. So you'll both have to take advantage and we'll see what happens. I got a roll another one. I got an 18. 16. 16. So we briefly lock.

So we briefly lock. When I go to hit you, I would try to crash in with with a big head butt. Okay. And then as you're reeling, get my arms around you. Okay, the head butt lands and then the fire from your natural state of being. Sears Torbeck's flesh and prevents the healing for the turn.

But while Torbeck is reeling, you're not quite able to get him and he slips out for him. Fuck, he's a big fucking guy. Just pick you're a clown, Gideon. At the end of your turn, the apparatus is on the back of Torbeck's back and shoulders begin to move a little and hum and glow with this pink magenta light filling the room. I need you all to roll a D8 for me.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Where's the A. I think I'll get a three. Four. I got a six. That's like two, three. Eight. Two. Okay, starting with Frost. Just hold the number up.

All of your hair and teeth fall out. That's a lot of hair and teeth. Yeah. So disadvantaged on a touchdown. Everyone's gonna be disadvantaged for one round, right? Well, everyone's advantaged. So when you're just disadvantaged. Your turn's over now, right?

No, no, my just crusher. Because I credit him. Oh, you did. Yeah, that's what everyone is in the way. It'll be straight up. Your feet and hands switch places. Oh! You can no longer blink and your eyes are very dry for one round.

Oh, my kiss, guys. Just blank them. You can only speak in a man. made-up language that no one understands but you for two rounds. Fampuge! Gideon, suddenly, you said you got an eight? Suddenly, a mask appears and affixes to your face.

This mask is that of a nightmare, a flaming flying horse. Do I see it? Until combat ends. Yeah, and you feel it. Gideon, you feel this mask affixed to your face and immediately seeing through the holes in the mask, you are no longer in the cottage for just a second. You are looking at a subterranean

city illuminated by bioluminescence. This is unlike anything you've ever seen before, as you see large crystals that with a pop, you see someone appear out of nowhere in a white trench coat, a very short in stature, what appears almost like a subterranean dwarf as he carries a sack filled with this strange purple glittery substance. And then the image is gone. You're staring in the cottage. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, get up!

All right. Top of the round, Bricko. I can't blink. At the beginning of your turn, you take 46 damage from you as you literally feel your blood turning to acid in its veins. I got a nightmare hell monster strapped to my face. Ah!

18 points of damage. Skim-a-bop the new pop-choo-bab-hoo! What? You're not making me any sense. Whatever. This caustic mutagen eating you from the inside out. You can also make a DC-15 Constitution saving throw to end the mutagen.

Sorry, what I meant to say was, you're not a negative-tent. Liddy-bap? You look like a sphinx. Yes. I'm wrinkly. I'm wrinkly. You can see the pigment streaks where my stripes are big, but I am a wrinkly sphinx motherfucker.

And then you can take a turn, Rego. Oh, my. Oh, this little picky with tomorrow. I'm not a pig tune you. Oh, me bigger pig tunia. As you'll hear a snort. a snort and a flash of I'll attempt to pull out my ocarina. Toes.

Deformed like boar with bat wings will appear as the spectrails I can't summon beast. In my mind I'm hearing that ridiculous version of the 20th century fox. For the sake of the hilarity, your summon also has its feet and hands with. Yeah. It doesn't get a canceling, either. And it's like, it looks at its paws. And it's going to, struck by unknown horrors. It's going to swarm in as I bonus action.

That's my action as a second level spell. As I cast summon beast, is going to make an attack with pack tactics. Okay. So you're at advantage again. Correctamundo. I do not succeed. That face. Hootsie, oh, hootie, get, uh.

His hands and feet are also switched. It doesn't matter that she's an owl bear. Nothing changes. She has bear paws and owl feet now. No, no. It's okay, guys. Just this, I'd probably be because we all have feet for hand.

Constitution's save with our mic. Oh, and well, I'm gonna use my bonus action. My apologies. I need to get into 30 feet. One, two, three, four, five, six. I'm gonna stand up. Help me, help me great for a gamer spirit, please. And I'm just straight now.

Booboo. 14, the frog tongue just misses it clattered. Torbeck can almost sense this is coming, even though his back is to you. and he very nimbly moves his body and contorts in a weird way as the attack misses. Frostra, you're going to take 46 caustic blood damage. Yes, please roll to see you. I'm going to move the mucid.

I'm going to twist. Yep. Oh, okay. Was that con? Yes. I certainly, certainly succeed. Yes, I succeed. You clear the mutagen.

You've no longer, your veins don't longer feel like they're on fire. Frost, you're going to take 16 points of poison damage. 16 points of poison damage. It's my turn. Your insides, your organs are on fire as you take this damage. You're going to get this round, and I fall unconscious. Oh, no, I liked him a lot. Say a little to Frederick for me.

Unfortunately, my head doesn't smack against the hard wood of this cottage. The nice Frederick pillow just... Yeah, I'm out. Um, layer action Torbeck is still trying to heal rapidly. You can sense that this is, he feels backed into a corner. This is coming to a close one way or another and he feels like it's not going to be him. Cremi, you're up. You are also going to take the damage.

16 points of damage. Holy shit, okay. So let me just do that first. Let me just start with that if you go. Let me do that. Let me make a concentration saving threat to see a B. Immusion clears when you fall unconscious. So I'm not going to take additional.

I passed my concentration check, so Bain is still active. And you don't get to bring friends. My wallet just been on the table. My credit card number. We need your parents' credit card number. Make sure you get those three numbers on the back. Yeah, those three numbers on the back.

And the zip code. That will work. You have advantage, don't forget. I'm banned. I have advantage on attacks. Yep. Do I sense any... But you're disadvantaged because of the... Right, so it'd be straight. Yeah. So, do I get

any sense of, like, Torbeck's humanity at all? Or does he feel like a totally... Like, totally transformed in this moment? You... You definitely get the sense that he is not

right of mind. This is not the Torbeck that you knew and worked with once at the carnival so long ago. You can see that as he's taken all of this damage and he is bruised and bleeding, that some of that wild feralness that he has is fading in and out. There might still be some Torbeck left in there somewhere.

So knowing that, I will, let me just check something real quick. This should be good. Okay. I see Frost laying unconscious. How's Gideon looking? I see, I've seen better days. Okay, well below bloody.

And then how's your girl looking? My guts are on the table. I'm going to say to Torbeck in my mind, I'll be saying, Torbeck, look, we can talk this out. I'm sorry for how we treated you. I understand that something's happened to you, You probably got in over your head.

You maybe signed something that you didn't mean to. Look, I'm real sorry. Let's just talk it out and I'm gonna snap and cast suggestion. But what everyone else hears is, is, bo-da-up, right up, med-up, okay. And because you cannot understand what I'm saying,

suggestion will fail. I was literally, I was literally, which is the king of, The king of GameStain. No one is better. So no one heard what I said. I'm just scatting. And I love that.

And I'm very confused that you're like totally unfazed by it. The king. That's amazing. Okay. I pass my turn. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm like laying my cane down and I'm like doing this.

You feel like you really got people. Oh yeah. I was very, very much way you said. It was very hard felt. Tormack is going to make two attacks on, how far is Twig from me? 15 feet. Close enough, yeah.

Two attacks on Twig. Yeah. I'm still baneed. How hurt are you looking? You look fine? You look like you're right about to walk into one of those Steve Madden commercial. The first one's a 12. Misses. You made a big crit. No, wow. Holy guacamole.

Okay. That's going to be a miss as well. I'm little and I'm mighty. But I am going to use another legendary reaction. And I will wash your tidy whitties. Oh shit, I'm not a frowning right now in combat, Twig. Come on. This magenta light fills the room, and I need you all to roll a D8. Do I need to roll a D8? Nah, you're dead. Your test. Oh, seven. Seven. Seven. You find every, all of you find everything hilariously funny. You still understand the seriousness of the situation. Oh, God. Make you got an eight? Yeah. Okay, Mike you got an eight. So the

Every of you find everything hilarious, but still in the same, Susan, Susan, seeing everything that's happening around you, like you said, that your guts are on the table, all of a sudden a mask affixes to your face, and you can't get it off or remove it, and it is that a mask of an owl bear. You feel the mask affixed to your face,

and immediately the room that you're in fades away as you stare at a dark subterranean tunnel. The tunnel is lined with lanterns filled with bioluminescent goo that lights the tunnel before you. And you feel, even though you're not moving, is if you're following behind the small figure of this subterranean dwarf in what appears to be some kind of, like, medical coat. He is fully, fully garbed from head to toe, white gloves, white coat, white coat, white, white, uh, white, white, uh, face covering, and he carries with him a satchel that is completely empty. As he rounds a corner, you see in front of you a veritable garden of strange fungus. And one of them catches your eye more than the others.

It pulses with great magenta light, but the cap of it is shaped like a twisted, crooked witch's hat. The underside, however, glows with that magenta light as bits of the fungal spores fall off and hit the earth and sizzle and pop into smoke. The fungus around it seemed to be almost not moving towards it, but growing around it intentionally to as if in awe of it, in brilliance of it. This is the type of fungus you've never seen before in your entire life. As you watch as this dwarf-like creature moves towards it as if to grab. a collection or a sample of it, being very careful not to touch it himself

as the vision fades and you find yourself back in the end at the end of the road. That is Torbeck's turn. Twig, you're up. Oh. Hey. Splat, splott of me. It's right.

He's got to put it up. That's putting that up. What's on my face? What's on my face? Oh. You know? Frederick's dead. We're going to be upset about that one later, but in the moment, it's kind of funny.

Blango. Oh, blango. Yeah, you get it. What's that mushroom? And picturing is going to try and get you again. Okay. 14, 18. Meter B, that hits.

Yes. Pekidunia is going to do four points, or not four points. I got to get it. Tuneas. Chate theos. Yeah, actually four points of piercing damage and another con saving throw.

14? That passes, so nothing else happens. Bigtunia, I can't, I can't film my apples, anymore, they're so dry. I'm never... That's hilarious. There's nothing funny about it, I mean, normally I'm one for shenanigans. And my Eldridge Blast fails.

So that's it. Gideon, you're up. Alright. Torbeck is looking very, very rough. Well. That's silly. Non-leafel, non-leafel. Oh, my it was ours. I came.

Oh, 17. You twist? Um, I'll twist it. I'll twist it one twist is acceptable just to just a friends are all dying okay 22 that's um all ready all ready roll for damage uh eight how do you want to do this oh exactly exactly it's oh oh oh oh man doby do we do you guys You can kill your friend. I'd like to see that if I can kind of get a sense that this is going to be like, you know,

like I've finally gotten the upper hand. Torbeck's been giving us the big, you know, wet willy to run around. I'd like to, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'd like to quickly and, like, athletically grab one of his arms, swoop around behind him, grab him in both my arms, and then kind of wean back and crush him into the... The middle chokel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just slam him like the one in bridge move, whatever that is. You notice that Torbeck has been moving more slowly as this fight has gone on. You've worn him down. And things hadn't quite been going your way and there's absolutely carnage going on in this cottage, but you find your opening

and you do not let that chance go. You grab Torbeck's arm in with one swift motion, you're able to swing underneath of his armpit, Climb up behind him in the back, put both of your arms around his neck, and pull as hard as you ever pulled before. As you fall backwards and driving your weight and Torbeck's weight into the floor of the cottage, momentarily Torbeck loses consciousness. As you deliver the final blow, almost instantly, Torbeck's limbs begin to ripple and move and shrink.

He is rapidly returning to the size that you remember. The apparatus is that adorned his back and shoulders. hum and glow, but his eyes do not any longer. Briefly, after this short moment of unconsciousness, Torbeck appears to come too. He is blinking and regaining himself somewhat. He immediately looks around at what's happening to all of these people and this in, and he recoils and pulls back in fear and slides all the way back to the wall

until he feels the wall hitting his back. He blinks a few times and he looks around and all of you, and he says, guys where is Torbeck as a single tear rolls down his cheek Torbeck for now appears to be in his right mind this podcast is brought to you by our Patreon become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatrous and gain access to tons of exclusive perks including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas shroud over salt marsh.

You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror toome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies

like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Before we get back to session, I want to say, welcome officially at the table, Andy. I'm so, so happy to have you here.

Thank you. And you're going to be a great addition to the crew. And I just want to call out for people that are listening that don't see the overlay. It said, well, it just changed. But it said, Torbeck Bugbear Blood Hunter. Gotta give that up.

Got to give that. So with that, let's get back into the session. Torbeck is laying on the ground breathing heavily. But it is clear to all those that are watching that Torback is coming

off of some kind of intense high. He is, his breath is getting shallower. His body is becoming more into proportion of what it had been. His face, though now looking haggard after the heat of battle, has that same Torbeck charm, if you could call it that, that it used to have. Frost. you feel your lungs fill up as you quickly inhale life fills your body as you come to no longer unconscious on the floor Frederick did not fare the same

he did meet his demise and to Twig's knowledge it was in battle lucky for you my teeth in my hair Your teeth are back into place. Your hair has already started to regrow in. All of the status effects that had been affecting you have essentially diminished. You two.

The masks still remain affixed your face. And that is when you hear it. A sound that alerts all of your attention to the open door. As you turn and look quickly, you see it for just a brief second. The flapping of wings is a large barn owl. Moves its way from perching atop the door, swoops out of the open door and off into the prismere sky. And just as quickly as you watch this barn owl fly away,

do you feel the masks slowly dissipate from your face? Twig is standing on a table in the center of the room, looking around at all of you. Her eyes still remaining open, though she does seem to be able to blink. As she holds tightly to Pigtunia, and she begins to breathe heavily and heavily, you see her body get larger and larger.

As she starts to grow taller, her form shifts. Where had been this chubby, perky, rosy-cheeked brownie is now this elongated boogie monster-like creature. My! It is amazing. Sorry, I'm sorry, sorry. Don't, oh boy, don't boker it out. Twyck, don't boker it out.

And you see as she slowly shrinks back down to her brownie form, but for a split second, as she looked around at all the mess, you saw her in her true form. What looked similar to Torek as he was in his rage, but a shadowy creature under the bed type monster. that was standing there, staring at this mess, but is now twig in her full form, though her eyes are just pure orbs of black

as they slowly turn to green, and her pupils retract, and she looks at you through her spectacles, cute as can be. Um, excuse me, this is yours, yes? Look, we... No, no, no, no. Yes or no.

This is yours. This stinky mean beast that destroyed my inn belongs to you? Um, quickly before, when we see Torbek, how different does he look when, since we saw him? He looks emaciated and he looks like he's just been in a heated battle. Other than that, you don't notice much of a difference. Good word. Uh, yeah, no, yeah, we, we, we're kind of responsible, I think, for this. Then you will get brooms. Right now, broom closet go. You know, we'll get it all fixed up.

We can talk. We'll clean. Tolbeck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do that. Hootsey, you stay with Uncle Toolback. And she's like kind of backing away, scared. It's okay.

You stay on the ground. You don't touch anything. Yeah, don't you fucking move. The rest of you get brooms. Now, help me clean. Give me one, too. Okay, fine. I'm gonna kind of like slowly back up.

All of the brooms are incredibly small. They are brownie-sized. So you are going to have to hunch over. Like archaeology? brushes. Eventually get outfitted with brooms and cleaning solutions and begin to clean as

you are able to talk to each other. I want to say this is right before Torbeck went down. I had figured it out and I was subalbaing and my hands were down on my feet and I was playing I was grabbing my ocarina with my hands at the end of my legs.

So I was attempting to subalba and I fall over as soon as it fixes. Twig makes her way behind the bar and brews up a very potent batch of bean milk and brings out a cup for all five of you and as you drink and enjoy it, you full heal. Oh.

Like just health-wise or like long rest-wise? Just health-wise. If this is Torbeck's fault, Torbeck needs to help clean. No, Trebek. You should stop. Stay on the ground. I'm not sure I trust you yet, mister.

We don't know either. Fulke, hell of a way to say hello, man. I feel alive again. Ha ha ha. I mean, hell, you killed Frost, you son of a bitch. Yeah. Frost, are you all right? Frost hasn't made any move to assist with the cleaning.

He is sitting up, he's sort of squatting and taking in the experience of what had just happened to him, looking at you, silently, looking at Twig. He doesn't respond to your inquiry, Torbeck. Instead, he turns to Twig, and he, I'm sorry what happened to your friend. Frederick, I believe his name was. Frederick, yeah, the rat. Can I help with that, perhaps, to make up for what has happened here? You were going to have to give him a funeral?

Yes. I have a shoebox upstairs I can put him in I can perhaps go find that Sure Second room on the right Well maybe a Hootsie can put him in the shoebox It's the door with the stained glass window of the rose

Hootie's gonna spot him home Yeah that's what I mean I mean the whole time of being here If you could just get the shoebox for Frederick We'll stick him in there And then when we get to where we need to be We can take him outside and put him in the ground Thank you. I'll be back.

And you, you ain't going no place. I don't know. You sit right there and we'll clean up. And Torbeck doesn't want to go anywhere. Torbeck can't express how happy Torbeck is to see all of you. It's been years. Years. I saw you like a couple hours ago.

Yeah, Tobik. No, no. That's not like a couple of hours ago. Torbeck is Torbeck is so happy to see friendly faces It's been years What are you saying man?

Like you haven't seen us for What? Years? Torbeck lost count Uh Was that luck Right after we kind of turned you into Mr. Witch?

They They tried to tell Torbeck that you turned Torbeck in, but Torbeck didn't believe it. Torbeck's friends would never do that. Oh, yeah. Well, that's definitely true. We would never do that, Torbeck.

Thank God I'm not the Connum. Yeah. Grico, we would never do that, man. Right? Okay. Right? Right. Say the words, Grico. We would never. You understand, Grico? We would never do that. I don't know, guys. This is a little fucked up even for me.

We got told by somebody doesn't time work differently in the Faywild? Yeah, years though, man. I mean, we just saw them hours ago. Knowing Torbeck's best friends were still out here somewhere was the only thing keeping Torbeck going. All right, well, you keep, do you mind if I sit next to you? Torbeck would be honored.

I want to sit down and sort of lean over and take my cane, and I'm going to, like, kind of like, check you your person. and like... I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you haven't seen your friend in years? I mean, that's what he's saying. He saw him last night. It wouldn't be right for me to keep you wet.

Yeah, we literally... Well, we saw him last night, but... Well, Frosty hasn't seen him in years. That stands to reason. I'm upstairs. Oh, Frosty hasn't seen him in years, but we saw him last night. We had a whole guy's night.

And then he got He got taken away after a misunderstanding Where were you last night? What? What? Where were you last night? We went to Wichelard Carnival. That's where we had our guards night.

We went here into Fayewall. It doesn't count as a Faye Wild, right? Oh. Yeah. No, if you were on the material plan, then yeah, that kind of checks out. Anyway, what is trying to say is, I don't want to keep friends from reunite.

you know especially after you've like killed each other and killed Frederick and all that and so I was thinking I would just I could handle the cleaning bum myself with Pictunia's help if we wanted to talk and you could just sit there and enjoy some ties on us yeah I just don't want you guys to leave you know because I've I've been here for a long time but myself oh no no you don't have to you're not to I mean I really appreciate it thank you so much I'm sorry that I started to boggred out a little bit but um I promise I won't do what to get as long as no more of your friends come in and try and destroy the end at the end of the road. Oh yeah, no, no, no. And Christopher will help you. Christopher, can you please help this lovely young lady as well? Christopher. Christopher is my, my flying bull spirit. Oh, no, that's okay.

I think pig tunia's feeling a little weird about there being more pigs in here. Oh, it's... And aren't her, you know? His name is Christopher Peter Bacon. That's a hopeful name for a pig. It implies you're going to eat him. Oh, it will. was kind of an irony in it, but now that you say it does sound little macabre.

Yeah, and I think Big Junio's really upset by, we don't say bacon in this end. Oh. Oh. Oh, so just beef. This is a beef only. That beef still. Okay. Well, the worse ends.

Anyway, it's okay. Pig Jr. can handle most of the heavy lifting. And you watch as she pull, as she doesn't pull, she moves her hands around, and a bouquet of petunias appear. and her hands. And she leans down towards them, okay, baby, it's time to wake up.

All of the petunias unfurl and each one is a tiny sleeping version of pig tunia. And where there had once been one, there are now 12 pig tunias and they begin to fly around and clean things. They carry little brooms with their curly

tails. They use their little snorting action to dust the shelves. And they get to work cleaning the place. She uses... She uses flock of them on their house. Chris, Chris, why don't you just go back to the spirit world. Okay, I'll see you next time, Vlad. Thanks for your help. See you, Chris. Yeah.

Hey, can we possibly get around to that bean juice before? I just gave some to you. Excellent. Well, that was real quick. You can have mine, dude. Oh, yeah. Just in case Torbeck goes fucking crazy again and kills us off. You don't drink your bean milk. Oh, well. Cremmy?

Oh. Cremmy? I sit there at it. Okay. One hit one at a time. If you want a second bean milk, I can make you one. But I have to warn you, the effects may not be to your liking. And if it lasts for more than four hours, you may want to see your GP.

Oh, that's happened before. I just made the best of it. What a GP stand for? Oh, I thought you was setting something up anyway. No. So I want to, like, sit down across from you, if we're like in two chairs or whatever. And I'll say, hey, gee, if he rips my. head off killing with my decapitated head you understand what the hell it's just to

avenge me look I know you got a promise you got to promise me here you understand you gonna make me kill him with your decapitated yeah look at this look at you look this jaw you can't do to me man you even think about that I got to use my best friends decapitated head to kill this guy yeah that's a little micabry right what am I supposed to do just wear you put my hand in it wear your jaw like a like a puppy and then snap at him oh and you're brat you bro I don't want to do that man I was I was thinking you turn to the side and like

Oh, come on, man. Like a reverse king cone. Oh, what are you taking your cane and beat the hell out of them, beat them to death. Why don't use your decapitated head? You would be like, you're feeling aligator scissors. What the hell, man? You watch as Twig jumps up on the table and sits down as if she's one of you. Ah, yeah, no.

Well, sorry about that. Twigger. Oh, no, no, let's talk about your stuff now. Talk, oh, no, do-da-do-do-da-da-da. Here's some bananas for you, Cholbe. Here's some bananas for you. For you, Twig. Eat up.

Is it a banana? How come? Yes, most like magical bananas. Oh, they're good for you. Why? It's going to make you big and strong. Like me friend, the wild garran spirit on the loose. In the full of potassium, I'm at the top of the stairs.

Frosty loves them. I eat them whole With the banana Oh yeah You know That's our parrots Did it actually So you know

Hey thanks for jumping in by the way When he burst through the door And went crazy I honestly didn't think You'd be good in a fight But you really You really got fucking weird There for a second

Oh yeah I can get really fucking weird Yeah That's pretty cool Cool Can I adventure with you guys for a while Well Yeah please

Oh yes Yeah 100% If we can travel around And this walking in Oh that's great idea Nice one five 100% I don't want to leave.

Okay. I'll set the shoebox on the bar, and I will, without saying anything, grab the coffee and just while listening to everyone. Hold on, I got to put the dead body of Frederick in that shoebox. I'll be back, and she jumps down off of the... We have bananas. I'll think you might need a couple.

They are nutritious. Yeah, exactly. It's the most important meal. There's also more of that pie if you want, the other most important meal. But, yeah. It has magical qualities that will benefit me. Yeah, well, I made them the green bananas.

I'll know that's your favorite. No, I mean, they're still robbed. They're just like bright green. No, it's fine. It's doing the work. Thank you. Thank you, Greg. Okay.

Yeah. I will put my coat on the back of the chair. I'll roll my sleeves up. I'll undo my bow tie and sling it over at the chair as well. And I'll sit down and I'll look at it for me. Ah. Who sent you, Torbeck? Torbeck doesn't understand what you mean.

You know that this is the evidence of what you did, right? I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm saying someone put you up to this. Torbeck feels like this is Torbeck's fault. Well, listen, hey, I don't know if you, you got that mask thing strapped to your face, right? And I don't know if you saw a similar thing. But when that happened to me,

I saw a little dwarf guy, white lab coat, had a lot of crystals, kind of like the stuff strapped to your back, a lot of that same color, man. Oh, that ring any bells? Dormac thinks maybe that sounds familiar, but Dorek doesn't know why. Oh, yeah, no. I saw that same guy. He was, uh, he was going to, um, a big old mushroom garden. and there was a big old mushroom with the cap

looked like a big witch's brew A wishes brew. No! A wishes brew. That's not what I saw, man. He was in a cave with giant crystals. No, no, no, no. There were no crystals.

It was a ton of... There were crystals in the cave, man. No. Yeah. No, there was mushrooms. No, no, crystals. It was very clearly a wishes brew

and there's all sorts of of things that would lose spores coming out from the mushroom. Is it possible that maybe they were both crystals and mushrooms in the same fucking cabin? Is that what you saw after he pumped his proboscis into you and your hands and feet swapping around? He saw mushrooms. It's a

proboscis. Proboscis. Probiscis. Thank you. Yeah. Proboscis. A very common at least beasties. Anyways, there was the same dwarf guy. Yeah. He was, you know, and he looked like he was

fixing to harvest these spools, I believe. Was that what I gathered, dungeon mistress? Yeah. He had an empty sack. Yes. He had an empty sack. Well, maybe we saw the same guy, but he was harvesting different things, and they do, they do, you know, maybe, I don't know, he, like, fucking worked on him or some shit,

and he, like, made him some kind of crazy monster. That's such a weird thing for you to see. Does a bon-ow mean anything to you? Do masks mean anything to you, Tolbeck? No Does anything mean anything to you? No Damn it?

I had a feeling it was going to be no Scramble was brain even worse than it was I mean it makes sense He was completely drugged up Yeah God I've never seen anyone take that much of witch light And survive

I can't believe you're standing up on her own two legs right now Wait what are you talking about Witch light Yeah You know all that magenta stuff inside your tubes. Torrbeck can't remove them. He's tried and it hurts.

Wait. How'd you get so much? You must be super rich. What? Rich. Toramec doesn't have any money. Really? You mean all that shit that's inside his

whatever, it's cold. Witchlight? Yeah. It comes from the Witch cat mushroom. It's really, really hard to find. It's super, super deep into the Fay Wild. It's down in the fay wild. Daydark and it's like real potent stuff you can collect it from the bottom.

I mean, if you can get, for one, if you can get down there, not many people can. So you have to have a lot of money to have the abilities to be able to, you know, hire the right kind of dwarves to get down there and harvest the stuff, right? So really, only the rich people that I know, the super like high ups, I'm talking like arch phase and stuff. really use it and it's mainly for parties you just take a little bit of it and you know I have a little good time I'm not saying I tried it once accidentally

or on purpose when I was working a party and I'm not saying that happened is all Torbeck did Lasel Grigurovitz introduce you to risk folks and get you hooked on the stuff no everything went sideways

before Torbeck could meet back up with Laslo Oh, all right, Tollbeck, I'm going to search you, you understand? Oh, be careful. You don't want to breathe in any of that stuff if he's got loose on him. Torbeck doesn't have anything on his purse, and really, just these ratty clothes. And it's all just pumping in your body like that? Why? I wish Torbeck wish he knew.

That's weird. All right, well, just would you kindly not rip my head off when I cast it? You can choose to broil me. if you want to. Tormic, will rip your head off. All right. And I will, like, take my cane

and I'm going to, like, open your jacket and, like, see if I can see anything in your pockets. And, like, once I feel a little more comfortable, I'm going to search your clothes and if you have any pockets to see if there's, like, any letter or message for us. I've got, like, a filthy sack, and that's about it. One or two.

Roll an investigation check. Oh. Twist it. Yeah, a lot of red. I refuse to. That's pretty good. One more twist? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's really investigate it. I, that is a, let me check real quick, but I think that is a, skills. That is a 17. Looking over a Torback, and you're, you're, you're letting him especially. Yeah, absolutely. You.

I flinch a little as he touches me. I would stand right next to Cremie as he, as he investigates him. You look over Torbeck's body. The outfit he's wearing is not the one that you saw him in at the carnival. Though it is ratty, it's definitely something he's been wearing for a long time. It has the makings of the type of outfit you would see at, as a patient at a hospital, or at some kind of medical facility.

you see that there is the under portion of it is like that but he's also wearing a tattered Victorian coat the entire outfit doesn't match very well almost as if it was thrown over him as he was making his leave

but you see all of the pieces are mismatched and none of them really go together he's just wearing either what he was put in or things that he found as you as you inspect him further you notice the lines on his face. Torbeck is definitely older than the last time that you saw him. Not a couple of years, but probably five, maybe even more. And he looks, his eyes are

sunken in. His breathing is ragged. And you can see that these, this contraption on his back is actually fused into his flesh. The site where it is affixed is red and swollen. It's clearly painful and is not able to fully heal. And even being that close to it, staring at this magenta light is almost entrancing. And you catch yourself blinking quickly to break this gaze that you have on this substance as it moves through the vials on his back.

It is beautiful the way that it shimmers and creates this light. And you, 17, you said? Yeah. I will say you see on his arms clear signs of injection markings, where it looks like other contraptions. had been placed and removed for the purpose of injecting him with something.

I would say with the 17, it's very clear that he has been the subject of some kind of scientific experiment. You've had a rough go of it, haven't you? Doorbeck's not sure, but Dorbeck's happier now that he's with friends.

Doorbeck, finish your bean milk. Keep drinking. All right. It'll be good for you. While we're hanging out as well, I don't know exactly what this looks like, but I'd like to take a closer look at the setup on his back and see if there's any kind of like... What I'd love to look for is if I get the sense of...

If it's anything like any kind of mechanism, like to see if there's any kind of like regulation pump or valve or looks anything like that that can be adjusted to not like... pump whatever's on him straight into him like hardcore. A roll an investigation check. I'll say at advantage because you are, you know, tinker's. I'll lean in and I'll whisper to Hootsie.

See, this is why you shouldn't always stay away from drugs, Hootsie. Always. No offense, no offense, Taubeck. I know it's probably not your fault. But this is what it does. And don't hang out with rich people who say that you'll be cool if you do it.

I mean, come on. Look, look, and they'll probably laugh at you behind your back anyway. Just stay away from Rich L and also Elagin. We're just going to say, you know, we don't like. Anyway, never mind. And I want to basically kind of pull Hootty away and try to like take her to a room, whatever room that, just to get her away from all of this. 14 on the investigation. You look at this contraption and you are mainly seeing what,

you're mainly seeing the vials that are strapped, or that are embedded in his back, it looks like all of the mechanical portions are somewhere deep inside of him. How it's controlled, you can't see any way that this thing would be controlled on his physical person.

There must be some other way it's controlled, and it's not physically here. Torbeck, man, I'm taking a look. I can't really tell how this thing works, man. I definitely can't get it off you. I was trying to see if we could just, you know, like, lighten the load a little bit for you. But I think that, I mean, I can't tell, man, but I think whatever runs this is, like, under your skin. Oh, it's okay.

It's like that Fay engineering you were talking about. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, something. I don't know. I didn't find an engineering for Fay dummies read up on it. Let's keep an eye out here. Hey, hey, hey, you got books on the shelf. You got an engineer for Faye Dummy's 101?

Um, you know what? Yes, I do. Hey! Well, shit, pays that. Wait, can I read it? It slides off the shelf. Can you speak, Sylvan? Um, no, is it in Sylvan?

Yeah, it's... Well, shit. So close. Well, I just thought, you know, I'm like, yeah, no, that makes sense. All right, damn it. I'll take it anyway. Is that fine? Yeah, you can have it.

Okay. What do I get? What do I get? It's off the shelf and lands in your hands. Oh, uh, yeah. Reserbosity and all, you know, I'm excited. You know how difficult it is to read Sylvan? No.

Pretty easy, probably. It's a good stretch goal, all right? Yeah. I'm probably not going to learn it if I can find somebody to train with it. You can read Sylvan? I don't know what everyone speaks and reads. Just because of who you are doesn't mean you can speak that language. You know, that's fair.

I don't want to, you know. That's bad. Yeah. But if you could... Well, here, if you could work on translating this into, you know, like common or primordial even, that's totally fine. And you can have this. And I hand... Well, yes, continue.

I hand over my silver comb. I like the silver comb. And then this is a great trade for the book. Yeah, it's pretty nice. But for my services with the book. teaching you so fit I would require something more oh it's gonna take an ages kid we're not gonna be around that look I would like to have piggyback rides oh yeah you kidding me yes yes all right for doing you come on those shoulders wait get Christopher back out

here no no no no no bacon you can't say bacon in this place I didn't say bacon I said yeah but his name is bacon in it well his name is Christopher P-bbing I'm coming back down and say, well, what would be more palatable? What's like your favorite kind of monster? Crispy, Ritmaker. Yeah, okay. That's funny. What's your favorite type of monstrosity, your monster?

Because I turn into a monster when I get mad. I don't like them. Well, I mean, you know, there's a little bit of monster in all of us. I don't like what I become when the rage over takes me. Oh, we're all a little bit of, we all got some monsters in us. It doesn't make them bad. Yeah. fixes her glasses and stares up

but her big eyes. Yeah. But I don't like monsters for that reason. Wait, so I thought you wanted to ride on a pig. I want to ride on, I want a piggyback ride. That's when I get on your shoulder. Oh, you want to ride me? Why did you just say so?

Yeah, hop on up here. Okay. This happens at least once a day. She climbs up your arms and she sits on your shoulder and she just perches there. I start running around the, uh, Not the kitchen.

Where are we? The floor of the end. Yeah. And I bounce every now and again. This is so much fun. This is some. I can't wait. Yeah.

It's pretty cool. Every now and again, Grico asks for this, so. It's very fun. I like it. Especially when he runs as fast as he can. It's very fun. Is this as fast as you can go?

No. It's not very fast, but it's still fun. Yeah, this is like 40% speed. Oh, when we get outside? Yeah. You're going to have to go. full speed. Oh my gosh. Okay. I mean, if you think you're

ready for that, you're not really have to hold on. I think in the meantime, Gid, you all look like shit. You know what we can do? I'll get you a FAPA Cino when we get there and then you can just go. Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you're probably going to fall off. There's no way you can hold on at those speeds, but... Try me.

Yeah, well, I will try you. I'll run so fast. I'm going to run so fast, you're going to fall right on. You know, said, James. I'm gonna hold my arms around your neck so tight. You can get rid of me if you try. Your arms gonna rip straight out of the sockets. Okay, I'm gonna be running around with just my arms,

but I'm still on you because it's still my arms. Damn, it's a pretty good point. That's a really good point. Could we have a displacer brew? Sure if you want to. For Tollbeck, he definitely needs one. We weren't able to enjoy it at all. I'm actually gonna say no on that,

because he just came off of some. hard drugs and I don't think you should be drinking some displacer brew after some more drugs. Torbeck would very much appreciate some alcohol. Oh, Displacer brews just distilled displacer be pissed, but sure. I can't tell if it's in my mouth or if it's not in my mouth. Smell it in Torbeck. And she goes and gets a displacer brew. What, you thought you were getting out of a session without bits now.

Just at Torbeck, now you, you nurse, I'll sip on that if you would like. Let's just sidebar real quick. We're going to sidebar, can we sidebar is that okay, Torbeck? You need to rest up, but we need to discuss. Yeah, it's just another day for Torbeck. No, no, it's only we don't trust you. It's just something that. It's all right.

I'll tell you what it is after. after we sidebar. Okay, I promise. Go ahead. I, um, wherever we assemble, I have found... Oh, there's no sidebar, she follows. Oh, you can join us, that's fine. We're ignoring Torback.

Oh. Sidebar and from Torbay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Part of the party. Yeah. You'll notice that I've found one of the trinkets that perhaps got broken during the combat, during the carnage.

And I am using my sonic abilities to reassemble it. It's like watching somebody with one of those like iron rot like chains do like one of those puzzles where you have to like slide it in a certain way and then do a certain angle and twist it. I'm just putting it back together while

listening to the group sidebar. Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are full of shit and they wasn't telling her something. I mean that's... This is beyond fucking haggs. This is beyond extortion. Whatever it is, they did not tell her something.

This is. bad and also we need to tell Tolback. Tell him what, man. We don't know anything about what's going. Tell him that we willingly handed him over to Mr. Witch. No, don't you dare fucking tell him. Yes, we need to tell him. No, we're not going to tell him that. We didn't even do that, man.

We just... Well, we need to tell him the truth. We can't laud him. Look at what that fucking happened to. What are we going to do? We're going to help him be a fugitive? You know, have horrible curses put on us. Excuse me. Yes. Yeah?

Excuse me? Yep. If your friend is really your friend, you shouldn't tell them lies. Yes. It's not a lie. It's definitely not a lie. You're just holding information. It's not a bioadmission. No, come on.

That doesn't exist. Can I ask a question? Did you turn him in willingly? No. Yes, we did. No, Your Honor. My mind wasn't my own. I was wanted to fucking troll.

And I was very drunk. I'm fine wine and. frozen peas. But we still did it. We still knew what Mr. Wich was doing. No, man, we didn't turn him in. We just knew that it was coming. And we didn't stop it in any way.

And we just kept them at the carnival. And we had fun with him all night. And then they showed up and took him away for kidnapping. What we're supposed to do? Help a kidnapper get away. It was a carpool cutout. Well, he's ready to the crime. It's a piece of wood.

I mean, to be fair, we committed a lot of crime. Yeah, well, we were just better at getting away with that. I mean, it's it our fault? We're great criminals, and he's like, you know, not a great criminal? Gosh, I know. It's not a fault. It's just a little hypocritical, I think. Frost's just trying to tell me something.

Yeah, so, Frost, please, man. You guys can continue to speak. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, wasn't there. I have no idea whether or not what they're saying is a lie or not. You're not a bad guy. I do agree with you, Grico. however, that in this place, and especially what we learned at the carnival with emotion being so important, we have to shield ourselves from the kind of strange happenings as much as we can.

The only way we can do that is to be totally honest with each other, transparent. We have to tell Torbeck the truth. Whatever, whatever that is for you, please. Oh, no telling the truth is very hard. But art can't look more. We've done a lot of sketchy shit. Frosty and I have compromised a lot. You've got to admit in all of our adventures.

We've looked the other way. That was in the before times. Exactly. But these are the same people, Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, who allowed for a crazy, horrible, a pig-masked creature to come out of nowhere and steal my daughter. And how am I going to look her in the eye and say, don't lie, be a good person, do nice things.

If we look at what happened to Torbeck, it's like, oh yeah, we had nothing to do with it. Um, can I just make a different point, though? Something a warble has happened to your friend. And if you don't tell him exactly what happened, you may never find out what happened when he was under the knife. All right. He needs to know what happened to him, you know?

The truth is the only way you're going to find the answers you seek. even if it makes him upset with you and he doesn't want to hang out with you anymore he tells you you can't play with the red ball because you're stupid Twig and you only get to play with the yellow ball so get out of here you know you just gotta tell him the truth

Wait a second You think he would tell us we can't play with the red ball I don't know I think Torbeck just beat the shit out of you So I think if you're gonna tell him the truth at any point right now is probably your best bet. We almost all died. So I think he almost killed you.

You sold him into a warble fate in the fade while. Like, he evens out a little bit. All right, will you do it, Ricko? Will you tell him? I'll tell him. I'll look him in the eye and tell him. Having completed my trinket, I'll reach into my pack. Pass a red ball of yarn over the twig.

Here's the thing, man. Listen, if you want to tell him, we can tell him. There's one thing I can tell from looking at him. He was captive, man. And he's got to come with us. We can't just leave him out there. Leave him alone. Somebody's going to come find him.

I'm just worried. You tell him something that upsets him, he's not going to want to be with us, man. And I don't want to leave him out there. He's got a lot of, he's got gold hooked up to him, right? He's got value. Somebody's going to come looking for him. He's not a cheap investment. Oh, that's why that we need, we can, after this, we're never having a sidebow without

Taubeck again. This is the last, and if there's any kind of secrets like that between us, then how can we be old friends? How can we even deal with any of these hacks? Much less that fucking barn owl. I thought, oh, it's nice an owl. Oh, that was strange ominous timing. No, you're right.

you're right we do have some even if it's just a little some responsibility in this and uh you know we might cut our throats and I sleep

but as far as we can tell now he won't the only thing that we need to just be aware of is he doesn't do that again and try to kill it I don't know how we can do that he's not going to do that man you sure

after what he's been through He's going to look for Any weather feels safe, man He's going to look for any comfort Okay If you want to tell him I think he sticks with us man That's what I'm suggesting

He should stick with us It's the only logical move There is no way to know however If he will lose his mind Torbeck wouldn't kill us Or let our throats in the night The creature that we found was no Torbeck He was a boogie man

So were we going to tell him now? Yeah, well, he's going to tell him. Okay. Torbeck, you can listen again. Oh, hey, guys. This displacer brew is growing on Torbeck. Torbeck. Hey, that's good to hear, Torbeck. Yeah, we'll find, just go easy with that. Go easy with that.

I feel like normally I would say, oh, you haven't had probably a drink in a while, but after everything, you know what, you can, you can have a treat. So, first of all, we are here to tell you something. Okay. A, I am glad that we were able to solve that problem without anyone dying. Torbeck is due. Killed Frosty, so. No, he just knocked him out.

That's fine. You've done that to me plenty of times. Torbeck is really sorry, Frost. Thank you, Torvick. I'm feeling 100% now, thanks to the bananas. Frank, thank you. It's the green bananas. They're the chunky ones.

I mean, that's your favorite, the chunky bananas. Anyway. That are Donkey Gong 664. Oh, it is. Oh, it is. You know I'm going to make multiple Donkey Kong 64 references in this campaign. How am I going to get all these bananas in such a short fucking time? Oh, just wait until you have to wrangle the beavers.

Oh, my God. It's a fucking porches. This mind cart doesn't jump far off. So, Torbeck, we have something to tell you. We, you should not apologize for what happened. We did some discussion, and we understand that you weren't in your right mind, especially apparently since witchlight, is some fancy schmensy cuckoo bananas drug,

what the rich fayfolk use. and that how much was pumped into years seems like it's not like no one could afford that and so you've been you as as uh as creme said you've had a rough go of it but we are apologizing all of us well not frosty everyone who is a member of guys

do you remember guys night oh I thought about guys night every day I was stuck oh yeah well it was my only Happy memory. Yeah. Oh, man, it was a good time, wasn't it?

We had a real nice time. The best. It was pretty fun. Yeah. Got them through. Yeah. I became the snail, Chad. I won on snail number two.

I'll still... And snail number two might be coming to say hello soon, I think. Torbeck wonders if snail number two is still alive after all these years. Yeah. So, well, that's the first point. For us, it's been a day. We've only experienced it, so A, we're very sorry that the time continuum has separated us as long as we have. We would have been here sooner if we knew.

That's all right. Second of all, we bear responsibility for everything that's happened. Small responsibility. What? Just let it. So, as we were enjoying Guys Night, we just were going to go party, and we were just going to hang out anyway, but then Mr. Witch comes in, and he's very threatening and very scorned. scary, like. And he said that you were under suspicion of stealing Clementimes.

How can you steal a person? She's real. That's not stealing. Kidnapping Clementimes. She's Torbeck's wife, girlfriend, whatever. Regardless, you know what, I'm not going to litigate it. You know, that's not me to, I'm not a jury here. you're not on trial, Torbeck.

But what I'm telling you is that Mr. Witch told us his intention was to wrangle you and to lock you up. And he needed us to distract you so you didn't flee before the other bug bears could take you away. And so we knew that was happening

all throughout God's note, and we still had nice time of it. And we did not warn you, we did not tell you to run, and it is our fault in that regard. It was another a lie-bio mission, which is still a bad thing that you shouldn't do to your friends. You're saying that everything they told Torbeck is true? You all turned to Torbeck in? we didn't necessarily turn you in. They just showed up as we were all enjoying a snail race, but we knew what they were trying to do,

and we are very sorry. We did not know the extent of what was going to happen. We thought that they was going to take you and keep you in the time-out place of the witch-light hand, and give you some soggy tuna sandwiches. But we're very sorry. No, no, let me correct. Dricko, uh, we knew. At least I knew. I knew. I knew these were some powerful fellas.

What didn't you say anything? And I knew that the fate of waiting you wasn't a slap on the wrist and not in the drunk tank. I didn't know what was going to happen, but if we're laying all out, laying it all out there, I think I should say that, uh, I knew it wasn't going to be good. Torbeck Torbeck appreciates your honesty for the first time in Torbeck's life Torbeck is

sad but Torbeck knows you couldn't have known Torbeck doesn't even know there's no way Torbeck's friends could have known what happened to Torbeck was gonna happen. Oh, no, no, no, we didn't, we had no idea that this

would all happen. There's no, no, absolutely not, Torbeck. And we're very sorry and you've been through a lot, but now you're not alone for a lot. There's probably still gonna be a lot, there's evil hags, there is a mysterious barn owl now, apparently. And there's gonna be a lot of trials and tribulations. But now we're going to do it together, because now you're one of us. We found you, and

you can stick with us now. Yeah, we're just an in full of friends. Yes, we are going to go on a quest. We have a quest that we can go and achieve great victory about. I see that your displacer piss is empty. Can I get you a refill? I think. Oh, yes, please.

I think I'll get you a warm glass of displacer brew. But... I hand you the glass that is empty. But that's because I think that this has been a beautiful heartfelt moment. But we still have a long way to go if we're going to get to tell him me how. So, I think we should head to bed and get some sleep. This has been a really big day for Torback.

You need a warm bed and a warm... bath. Oh, that sounds nice. It won't be. Are you sure you don't have any alcohol? Torbeck can hear the voice is coming back.

Yeah, you can have some whiskey. Oh. Oh, whiskey. Torbeck thinks that sounds lovely. I wouldn't hate a eye cat. It's amazing. It is the

sweat that is pulled or milked from the whiskers of cattle weppis. Oh, well, well. Ain't that just some shit? I've consumed some pretty nasty things, but that's below even me. Oh, that sounds like a delicacy.

I knew you'd like it. I'll make it warm too. And we're going to take our warm night caps in a nice pillow fort and blanket fort. I'm going to get right to lads. Let's all go get bathed and go to sleep. One at a time and also don't listen to the bathtub. Or the toilet, man.

The bathhtubs are a piece of shit, man. Get inside me right now. Just get in. Come on, I'm nice and warm. Get late. I'm steaming that I'm bubbling. It's wet and warm in here. It's all wet and warm in the inside. And with that, you all make your way upstairs.

The rooms that are laid out for you, it seems like this place molds to whatever it is that you desire. And you were able to have five individual rooms, but they all have doors that open up into a circular communal space where Grico is able to make a pillow and blanket for it with the help of twig. And you are all able to take your baths. You find warm, cozy pajamas that fit. perfectly and you're all able to get yourself situated for the evening. She brings warm glasses of, um, of milk for you to drink as well as the warm glass of whiskey for Torbeck. Um, and you are all able to meet up in that central room and, uh, she rolls out bed rolls just in case anyone

happens to fall asleep in here instead of the beds that are available for you. And you all accumulate in this space. Is there anything you want to do? do before you fall asleep? I will forego a bed and just sleep with Hootsie, like the old bit, like Timone and Pumba. Like we generally did, because it's my first time going in bed with Hootsie. Well, I guess since, I guess the witch-like carnival. She wasn't gone for that long, I guess, but it feels like a long time to Grick-Go. And in real life.

I would stay in the common area with the fort and because I, Torbeck wouldn't want to be alone in a room by himself. I'd like to flip through the book, the Faye Engineering for Dummies 101, and obviously I can't read anything. But you look at the pictures. If there are pictures in it. There are pictures and diagrams, and you are taking in what little bit you can. Yeah.

The first page says fig one, and it's an image of a fig. It's very wild. Yes, actually, yes, that is exactly what. Yes, yes, that makes sense. And as I touch it and I open up the dummies It's just a pencil drawing of Gideon. That's amazing. Once everyone's asleep, I would

stay up all night. I would... You find that you cannot. So I am attempting to stay up all night and knowing that everybody else had a really rough time and just wanting to be able to let everybody else get some rest and making sure that Torbeck doesn't transform horribly in the night. Cuckoo Bananas.

I'll take my two dice and I'll just sort of roll them and I'll look at the result and I'll either like or I'll pick them up and I'll roll them. And basically I'll do that as I guess I get sleepy. You all fall asleep. Twink falls asleep first. She is, she drinks down her mug of warm milk and she's running around in circles around you,

doing shadow puppets on the walls and telling you stories about her childhood. And she won't shut up. The entire time that you guys are there, the bathtub never speaks to you, not even once. Very briefly, can I also say Frost would have been the first in his room to be asleep, but he leaves the door open.

He probably is the first to go to sleep. And Frost is laying there asleep. as he watches as twigs spins around and then Pat falls over directly onto Gideon's lap and is just snoozing. She's drooling all over the place. Her hair is frizzy. Her glasses are skewed to the side. But she's, she's happy and cozy. She's found friends. And you all begin to drift off to sleep. The sounds of Crummy rolling those dice over and over and over again, eventually lolling you to sleep. Pramie, you sit there, there's a fireplace in this common area and you let the warmth of this room bathe over you. This is the coziest that you've been in the past 24 hours,

though it feels like it's been 19 sessions of a D&D campaign. It is only, it has been less than 24 hours, but you are physically and mentally exhausted. In this place, the end at the end of the road is exactly what you needed as a way to begin to recuperate. Your belly's full. You've had plenty to drink. It's warm and it's cozy. And no matter how hard you try, there is magic in this place. And this isn't in. It's meant for sleeping. It's meant for rest. And it is impossible to not get a long rest in this place. As you feel your eyes flutter and you fall asleep. and you all begin to dream. You hear the sounds of heavy boots on stone as someone is walking down a long hallway.

It's dark. Eventually, the lights come to. There's a castle of some sort, clearly. This is a palace. It is grand. It is beautiful. but it's unlike any that you would have seen on the material play and it's it's hard to describe and it's hazy the details are faint and hard to make out but you see a small dwarf in a lab coat

no longer wearing his um his hood as he clutches it tightly in his hand and he is muttering to himself, he looks nervous, he looks scared as he walks down the hallway, the pattering of feet slapping against the stone. And eventually he walks in through a large archway. And you hear him say to himself, it's going to be all right. You got this. You got this. You just, you just got to tell him. He's got to tell him. It's fine. It's fine. He's not going to, he got this. and he walks down a long haul and you hear a pat and then you see

almost as if you're seeing through the dwarf's eyes a four-tiered dais that leads up to what is clearly a throne the dwarf does not raise his eye line all the way to the figure sitting on this stone or this throne

just high enough that you can see that you can see this entity whatever it is long, slender legs and tight, dark blue pants, one leg thrown casually over the other as he slowly taps his long, thin fingers on the soles of his boot, almost impatient. And you hear, Yes, what is it? What could you possibly be bothering me in the middle of the night for? yeah

I'm sorry your highness I hate to say it but the bug bear somehow escaped he was there last night and he is now gone and

before he say anything we did send out some wisps to see if we could find him he's in hither and I believe that he may have made up with

some friends there at the inn you know the one at the end of the road the tapping on the boot stops and you see for just a second as the fist clenches and then it relaxes

you're going to pay for that and that is where we end the session Oh, no. Oh, wow. Thank you for the session, Mickey. Both are DMs. A double DMs. I would never make more than one Torbec.

Oh, man. Well, let me take the second Torback out of the closet. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avengers podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier higher to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventras. If you want to chat about the episode with the Advantress community,

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