Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 22 | Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

The party's reunion with the rabbitfolk takes a violent turn...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/pyoy8skIgZM?si=V8PgcHtriBHmAGxx

Welcome to Legends of Adventress. Chuckled here and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. How do you get those abs when you're made of mud? You find an open hole. Oh, Brick, oh, is that you? Torbeck is panicking. Relax your muscles.

Relax your muscles for a moment, Torbeck. I can. Tourbeck is pink. Tourmec doesn't understand what happened to Tourmet. Yeah, so like, what's my favorite food, bro? It's not something stupid and obvious like mud pie, is it? This is the worst, but they're still alive. I can busts on the street corner with Hoots Inn.

She can dance, and you can drive your wagon for Brubber. Well, I'll just want to go meet Jingle Dangle. Jingle Jingle, apparently is in possession of a key that will allow us to free Sir Talavar? Oh yeah. Here we go. You're right, I'm a big old hill. Well, I...

I still wouldn't like to walk around with an eternal splinter. Just one key. I see you got a lot of them. Jingle dango's got lots of keys. If you look around the walls, you might be able to find one you like. You're all welcome at Jingle Jengals Cave

any time you want to come by. I'll let it tell him he'll know. We're going to make the woods safe for Truffle hunting on Wednesdays and we are not gonna get into the particulars of how we're gonna do. Are you asking me to take you to Briggins doorway so you can rough up those ruffians that was roughen up Jingle Jangle on days similar to Wednesday? You've got it kids. Oh Jingle Jangle! Oh, Tellem Hill is going to get his vengeance for you! You were all the top Tellomey Hill as it bounds through the swamp.

This is perfect music for bounding Telling Me Hill. Look, it's what I've got. I don't know what to tell you. The swamp rushes past you. You feel the roots of Telling Me Hill rip out from the earth and, and propel you forward. The fog here is so thick.

It is still difficult to see too far in front of you, but on occasion with the way the wind blows, you were able to see glimpses of Briggins Tollway off in the distance. And even past Briggins Tollway, what appears to be a city, a city rising up from the muck, and towering over it is clearly a large structure, a hut. Looking at this as it peaks out of the,

out of the fog, it is easy to tell that that must be downfall. The hut clearly held aloft in the fog is Bavornas Cottage. Ropes stretch from the platform surrounding the hut and attached to different structures and things at the base of the water. Looking at it, even from this distance, you can tell that Just past Briggins Tollway where downfall resides, the water is at its highest peak. But it is clearly obscured by Briggins Tollway itself. The only way to get there is forward.

The only way to get there is through Brighon's Tollway. And as you bound forward atop Tellamy Hill, you're finally able to fully scope out this place. A gigantic stump. 50 feet in diameter, clearly chopped off maybe just a fraction of the height of what this tree would be. And surrounding it are pathways twisting and interconnected, wooden docks, wooden planks that rise up over the feted muck of the swamp itself. You see many different boats moored up against the side. All of them connecting and meeting directly at this stump. You see that attached from the top, the flat portion of the stump where it was cut off at some point are rope ladders that have been tossed down allowing for easy access.

But the plankways, the bridges themselves look like they're in distanced. repair and shoddy. And as the mist swirls around it, it looks uninhabited, completely empty, and quiet. Tellamy Hill makes its way forward. Nothing in this swamp land is a match for this gigantic moving mound as it bounds towards Briggins Tollway. But it eventually comes to a stop. There's no way to get closer. with all of the mooring and the planks around this stump. Tellamy Hill can only get so far. And as it slowly sinks itself back down into the muck,

you are a significant portion of the way away from Brighan's Tollway, but it is silent. There are no sounds outside of the crickets and the insects that buzz around the swamp. Even as tall as Tellamie's, hill may be, it's not tall enough to see what rests atop the stump, but it is quiet. Well, unless I want to impale myself on these wooden walkways, and I don't. No. This is as far as I can get shut, but if I just nestle myself down in the muck here, you should have a nice pathway directly onto

one of these planks watch your step. You don't have any kind of taking care of this stuff and just disrepair. Nobody cares about their possessions these days, young kids. Oh, that's true. This is the tollway? I'm assuming these are

the toll away as to that stump. Thank you for moving with such haste. This is incredible. I haven't run that fast since 82. That's an idiot. Eighty-two-one.

I think he means just 82. Exactly! Oh! Oh, my bark! Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh, my childhood scrumbus washed away in the flood of 82. Which one?

Gerald. Oh, I meant which 82. Gerald. I thought you meant which flood. Gerald 82 was a rough year. Oh, I thought you meant which scrumpus. That was Hurricane Gerald. Hurricane Gerald took your scrumpus Gerald.

Are you going to wait here for us, or? Well, it's past my bedtime. That was a long run. Yes, I will wait here for you. Because Jingle, Jingle, will want to make sure. than you're all right. Thank you. I may move 20 feet backwards

so that those brigands can't access my lower portion. Yes, we wouldn't want anything to impel your mound. My thoughts exactly on Frost. Yes. Well, thank you, Mr. Hill. You're welcome,

Doreback. Be careful, labs. All right, we'll do. hopefully we'll have some blood on the hands when we get back. Well, please wash them before making your way up, my mound. We don't need to wash them. We'll just like rub them in the grass. I'm

specifically asking for that not to happen. Oh. The grass is kind of like his skin. It's kind of... I don't know. It's more like his hair. He's telling stories about punching people before, you know? You just figure he's got a little blood on. Idiot and you, do you typically

will touch mounds with unwashed hands? This is outrageous. Yeah, frequently. In fact, that's just about the only way I touch mounds. My hands are dirty. I were them all over mounds, and it's a great time. You know, it gets you clean. He just explains much.

Hey, hey, guys, Dorebeck has a question. Yes. Yeah, Dulebeck? What's a scrumbus? Well, if you have to ask, you can afford it. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, no, totally. I know what that is, but Torbeck, you wouldn't know it.

No. No, Torbeck doesn't know. Imagine not knowing what a scrumper. Is anyone else worried about the fact that it's, like, completely silent here? With nothing going on, do you think... Don't listen, okay, tell me? Do you think tell me bars to the wrong place? I definitely didn't take you to the wrong place.

Little one? This is, friggin's tall way. There's only one. Well, Twiggy, I think. Probably what happened was all these rabbits all massive hill kind of running straight at them and they just are hot. Oh, do you think they noticed? Ah.

Are you implying, sadly, that we've lost the element of surprise? Oh, you clever duck. He's not a duck at all. Unintended consequences. Well, if they're hiding, we can drown them out. Finally. How are you going to drown them out when they live in a swamp? And they live on the top of a tree stump

that's conveniently placed above the line of the swamp water. That's a good point. Oh, you'd be surprised. The tourbeck almost once drowned in a bowl of soup. But if we had a bowl of soup, wouldn't we want to eat? the soup ourselves to not drown someone in it? Oh, that's a good point. All right, well, regardless, we'll figure out what's going on.

We'll poke around and, you know, this could be a horrible ambush. I'm just saying, I'm a bit scared right now. I've never been an adventure before. Well, you're thinking like an adventurer. This is good work. That's exactly the kind of thing you should be thinking of. Yeah. So I'm good at this, like naturally? So far. Yes. You've contributed suggestions and observations. you haven't died, everything's fine. Wait, what? Are you saying that my potential death would be a sign of failure?

No, not necessarily failure. If that's... It's only failure if you don't have a diamond with 500 gold pieces. I don't have a diamond worth 500 gold pieces. Well, that's a failure then. Tell me, do you have a diamond worth 500 gold pieces? What a do? What to do?

Oh, Mr. Hill. No! No. Mr. Hill, please stop me if this question is weird or uncomfortable. Can you take off those shoes? And if so, what does it look like? What are it talking about?

Don't you have, like, big old shoes on? Greg, what the fuck are you talking about? I thought, wasn't there a map and she was a heel with shoes on? I never described it. No, you don't think that was a huge red sneakers? And in the map, they're, they kind of look like out shoes, but they're just the roots. Oh, okay, okay, I thought it was like, like, fucking, like, I got it. It's just a hill wearing air drone.

Yeah. Yeah. That's how we got here so fast. You showed the map last week, I'm like, I was like, oh, the hell of the feet. What the fuck? Oh, my God. Okay. And yes, just because you grew up in a swamp, does not mean you cannot drown in the swamp as my old friend Neil.

Oh, that is. Oh, that is. Oh, Neil with a K. Oh. Well, you know, separates him from his other friend, Neil. Without a gay. Dormack is learning. Okay, well, telling me, thank you so much for getting us here.

We're going to go rescue. I mean, well, we kind of are rescuing the damsel in distress. Even though she's not currently with them, they hurt her. Jingo, jingles, I'm talking about in case you're wondering. And so we're going to beat him up. And then she'll never, she'll be rescued for next Wednesday. Or days they resemble Wednesday. That was perfectly synthesized.

We'll tell them that there's Hill to Pay. Yeah. Oh my God, that was a telling me, Hiltow! He! That's really good person. We'll be him to pay. We'll tell of them that there's health. Oh, oh, oh, hello, oh, hello.

Oh, look at jokes here. That's right. Yes, exactly right. Oh, okay. Come on, let's, if they already know we're here, let's walk up. Well, hold on. If they know we're here, then this might be some kind of ambush. So what do we do? Should we maybe make our presents known and see if we can parley? Is that a good idea?

Oh, I don't know. Do Briggins honor parley? Well, there's scarf, fellas. A lot of people think that parley tastes like gross stuff in your mouth, though. I find it completely flavorless myself. It's very strange. I don't like the stuff. Yeah, it's like a DNA thing. Yeah.

Like when you put parley in your mouth, it tastes wrong. Like soap. That's what it was. people think it tastes like soap. So is that a good idea? What if at least half of them taste soap when we parlay them? We'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.

They might all like it because it's green stuff. Oh, no. Yeah, they love this. And my 82 and he records and said, I don't like the stuff. Frost starts looking around. You're that when Gerald died? He was Gerald.

He was Gerald. Does it look like we would be able to get off the hill? The hill has made its way directly here. So you can kind of take, just pass that around. So we can take a little bit we're going to this whole way again. It is interconnected docks that circle this gigantic stump. It's like a maze. They're rising up out of the swamp.

And the swamp right now is, you've seen it fluctuate in... It's really pretty far away. In depth. Depth. Thank you. And it is right now at its lowest, but you imagine,

based on how far these planks are out of the water, that they would still remain out of the water, should it be at its highest depth. Oh, so they're like tall up. Yes, so it is, this is tall up, and then the tree stump is just rising up into that. They're not floating along with the water. They're on stilts.

They're built into, into the ground itself, they are, they seem to be for the most part structurally sound, though they are unkempt. So you can see that they are used. There are boats that are moored up against it.

Skiffs, as it were, there are rafts, just a variety of different water, water mounts, essentially. And it's easy to see that this is how the brigands were able to make their way out into the swamp and find you and why they had a boat with them. They clearly came from these causeways, make their way out, steal, and bring it back. You can see these knotted ropes that lead directly up to the top of this thing. Um, yes. Do this is not the first time the gang has encountered these brigands? No. So they know what they look like.

Yes. Or we're not sure because there could be more. There could be a bunch of them. Yes, you encountered about 10 of them. Okay. And you don't know if 10, you know that there was one additional that they hadn't, that you hadn't met. And that was the Brighan Prince, they called him. Outside of, yeah, Agden-Longscarf.

Agden. And that there could be more, you don't know. It could have just been the 10 and Agden. It could be that there were five other vessels of 10 that had gone out from Briggins' toll. You do not have that information. Oh, they did have a snake. If the whole barlay thing doesn't work, could maybe we use someone as bait?

Oh. Could I request that I'm not the bait? Because I've never done the venturing before. And I get performance anxiety. And my first time being bait, I want to make sure I know how to do it, you know? Oh, you can observe maybe Mr. Crummy won't make you be bait.

Torbeck is very certain. Yes, it's an advanced adventuring technique. Torbeck is a master baiter. Okay, so you've baited before like a lot. Torbeck's been known to bait here and there. Okay, okay. I've never baited once in my life, so I'm going to have to watch you very closely,

so I'll make sure know how to do it. Let's don't make eye contact. It's starting to border on chronic. Oh, you're a chronic baiter? It's a thrill. So why shouldn't I make eye contact with you when you bait, are you going to get scared? Eye contact is the direct window to the soul.

Oh, you don't want me to psych you out, because at the moment the bait goes off, if you get psyched out, you won't be able to finish. It's certainly explosive. Okay. I'm still looking around as this conversation is happening. Does it look like there's only one path forward

just directly towards the stump via these stocks, or does it look like there is a chance that we, because I'm assuming Frost is, that their focus point is this hill that showed up. Would we be able to go around? So how the hill has placed itself up next to it, if you look at the map, There is one, I can actually show you,

if you post the map back to me. Where the hill I will mark it has placed itself is right where I'm circling. So you have two planks that you can dismount onto and start making your way around. Left ways or right on. Behind you, however, is just the swamp. Should you disembark the hill not onto one of these planks?

You would have to, because the water level is low, You would have to find a way to climb up, and there are no ways to climb up onto these planks. It is very clear that the Briggins don't leave these plankways unless the water level is high. So all of the skiffs are tied, but they are sitting at the low level, and they will clearly rise up. As the water gets higher, they'll be able to embark onto the... Yeah, onto the skiffs and the rafts and head out to do their stealing. So there's a, there's like a wooden, like, pylon coming off the plank heading into the water, and it's above us, like the beginning. Yes.

So if you were not on Tellamy Hill, you would be looking up at all of these causeways. So we can goblin glider down onto the plank. You can literally just walk down. Oh, it's right up, right up there. He's a hill, so he's in a hill. Oh, oh, yeah. Can we step off like Jack Sparrow? Yeah.

Jack Sparrow there. Exactly. You know, Tweed, it's okay. You know, I'll let you want a little secret. I also get performance anxiety when I try to bait in front of people. I've seen it. Yeah. One last thing before we go, Frosty.

I'm really worried about it because the first time I bait, I want to make sure that I'm ready for it, you know? And that all the people that are watching are cheering me on. And they're like, Twig, you can bait, beat your life away. But not in a you're going to die. you finished. Got away. Oh, now I'm real scared.

She adjusts her glasses. I don't want to beat anytime soon. Yeah, because once you do it the first time, you don't want to do it a second. You definitely don't want to die after the first one. Is baiting addictive? Well, we're talking to torquette. It's more like if you die the first time you bait, you'll never become a master bear. It takes years of bad.

practice. Oh, and you know, I used to know, I used to know this girl in Brownie School. She's a real mean head. She said that twig, you're never going to grow up to be anything cool. You'll never be good at anything. And I'm kind of good at running and in, you know.

But she's never stopped by so she wouldn't know. But Briar Giggle Wing, when I become a masturbator, I'm going to bait in front of you and then you'll know. yes she will Torbeck can't think of anything cool I'm having a masturbator and I really show giggle yeah Briar

were you girls in brownies together huh or you girls like brownies together well she's a brownie and I'm a brownie so yeah I literally said we're in brownie school oh that's a pretty good and funny family you're learning how to control your bugger

you know Yes, I do know. So when it comes to bait, I think this is why fate has brought Torbeck to us. Yes. I can't start picturing Torbeck in a grass skirt. Why? Why?

I feel like that's appropriate for bait. Why? It'll draw the brigands out. Torbeck won't say no. Yeah, like maybe a flower, necker. or something, you know. Do we have a flower necklace and a grass scruff?

I could make one. I can make one. Uh, well, yeah, we could make one with reeds and swamp flowers. Um, but Tormec fails to see how this is applicable. That's a really good word.

Tormec calls that a $5 word. What's a dollar word? A goldie. That would be a lot of four pieces for one word. I just had a vision that instead of currency backed by precious metals, we used government fiat. Oh, no.

That's fucking crazy, Don't you go? How would that even work, man? Bossness! I'm losing it. I'm losing my mind. Okay. Isn't a fiat one of those tiny horses that always breaks down and no one can fix them? Yes, that's exactly right. Why would you ever use tiny horses?

And they got those big old moustachios. They're probably a bunch of perverines. Oh, yeah, those horses are good for nothing. Issued tiny perverted Italian horses that break down every chance they get. I don't know. There's something we would like them. No, I mean. The government's even more useless than Torbair.

Wow. Wow. Well, ever since Bosnav set up on Old Telling Me Hill, things ain't never been the same. Let's stop this quest. Let's go talk to Boston ass more. He was a girl guy. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Before we go, Frost, I feel like I'm contractually obligated, based on where we are, to do this, on the king of the hill. Oh. Okay. Could you at least give me some kind of minor, minor congratulations? Oh, no, it was a very good pun. Okay, now we may proceed. Thank you very much.

Dang it, Graco. Let's go. Okay. We don't have a plan yet. Oh, that's right. Once we get on the dock, I'm proposed that we hold any baiting options until we see if we can work our way around and perhaps their focal point will certainly be this massive hill that's run up on its own very own roots.

it'll they'll come to this area or at least keep their eye on it and perhaps that's how we sneak around and find our way to this uh uh uh ogden agdon tarmac'd up and d'arragne of holding off on the banning is gonna be difficult you're just gonna have to hold it in well i'll just make a few more pretty flowers and then all we need is a needle and some fred frost you got that a ball a ball of fred and a needle i do Okay. So hold on. We're talking about two completely different plans here. One is we're going to get off of the swamp, take a shoes off, and then wade through the mud to the other side of the stump. Looking at the configuration of these docks, we don't have to go directly to the trunk in order to be. We can actually get about halfway and then perhaps circle around on the docks. Oh, you want to get one of these little boats and see if we can pull up to a different dock like on the other side.

We don't have to be on the water. If you look at the, if you look at the, if you look at the, mind map here that I have in my brain, then here's the truck and here's the dock, right? We get to the dock that's here and then we start circling around before we approach. That'll give us at least perhaps

some element of surprise. Oh yeah, let's steal the skiff. Come on water. Why do we walk? You want to be surprising. Why the hell we walk straight up to him? Why not get in the boat and just so like... The skiff is too far down we won't be able to get up from the skiff without spending precious precious d and d resources when it's low water there's no water to skiff around on i think it's very clear i literally said that six

times yes we can't go by water there's no way without spending precious precious d and d resources i had not even said a nautical cat in it's not necessarily that i'm a nautical captain i'm just looking down to the fact that them skips sitting in the mud. Okay, so there's no water at all. You can't sail a raft on mud. Oh, okay. And so much. I was thinking we could take Frosty's 10-foot pole

and just like, oh. Oh, yeah, I just got to push a lot. Hey, you know. It's pretty much. It kind of sounded like a Muppet. Yeah. You wouldn't see me do it again. If I knew any of the lyrics, I didn't,

but I don't. Well, shit, there's only one way. forward, let's just get on the dock and start walking. Oh, it looks like there are tons of way forward. Just like Frost was trying to tell you guys when you weren't listening to him, that you could walk forward and then take any of the side planks in all kinds of different directions. And then wide around on those. And then take another one in a different direction.

And then go around on that one. And then round back and go to the third one. And the next thing, you know, we're on the west side instead of the north side. We're the south side. We're the southeast side. Oh, my God. I'm getting really worked up. Somebody stop me.

This is what we call in the adventure and world of critical research here. You're getting involved down in the mechanics of how we approach. Nobody's going to answer the door if you don't knock. We just walk straight up to them. That brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for listening to me. All right. It's due and frosty suggesting.

Y'all can't believe someone was suggesting the low Todd Skiff. How would we even write that thing? I start to walk towards the dock. Oh, we follow up. We walk towards the dock. A foggy marsh stretches out before you. Rickety causeways made of wooden planks from a wide web-like structure above the bog. 300 feet away, many of these causeways converge on an enormous ivy-covered tree stump

that rises a good 50 feet above the 20-foot-high fog bank that enshrouds it. You make your way along the planks, and you can hear them creaking and raw. walking as you move along. But the sound is completely obscured by the sound of the gnarled roots being pried up out of the earth. Is Tellamy Hill slowly moves away and back into fog. You can still see the top of the hill peeking out between the mists of fogs that moves this way and that. But your ability to to climb upon telling me Hill has been removed from you

as he has separated himself from this leg of your journey. I need you all to roll a D8 from you, please. Your Magnetta, five. One. Are we re-rolling duplicates? Nope. I'll go a seven. Eight.

Our forehead skin comes off and blinds us like a flat. What skin? Our forehead. That is... That is... Our forehead skin. What did you think? The most disgusting...

I have... I filled a room with human sweat and started to drown you guys in it. Spoilers. That was pretty bad. That's disgusting. I can't take credit for it. That's from a short story written by Robert E. Howard,

the creator of Conan the Barbarian and other classic characters. That's disgusting. Yeah, it happens to like a... And felt that in my... And when you read it and you're like, oh, no. Go on. Hey, I don't know how to continue from there. I want to quit.

I want to end the game. What do you mean? Stop it. Please. Please do you do that to me? It's not nice. Okay, May. You two, really? Okay.

So we had 7, 8, 1-1-15. 11-7-8-7. Correct. seven. You watch as twig is prancing about on the wooden planks.

Again, not as messy as a thought. Okay, okay. It's not as... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not as slippery as I thought. Okay, my little booties aren't sliding around.

Like I... And immediately, her foot gets caught on a rough portion of the plank as it cracks beneath her and she begins to tumble

down off of the plank. Part of her skirt gets caught on the wood and she's dangling there over the muck. I will immediately reach out with my invisible mage hand. You all move. Grico, you also move forward.

You slip and part of the causeway breaks away as you too begin to tumble off of this 20 foot high causeway. Cremie, an attempt to move backwards out of danger of all of this, you aren't

paying any attention to what you're doing as you literally step off the causeway itself and begin to plummet down. As I see the other three of you are saying. As Torbeck sees Frost go from twig, Torrick has a moment where he looks at Grico.

He looks at Mr. Crumme. He looks back to Gros. Mr. Crimmy. With his 10-4-reach, I attempt to get there and grab him before he goes. I will say roll a, roll a dexterity saving throw at advantage because of your long range. Well, this is all happening. Oh my God, what the fuck?

And then I look down, I'm just standing over here. I look at the camera and I blink twice. And your eye stay behind as your body, yo. You don't pull out a sign? Yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Just deck saving throw?

Yeah. 18. Okay. What were you doing fast? I can only support 10 pounds. I do not know how heavy you would consider twig to be, but she's small. I'm going to attempt to slow her as quickly as I can

to see if I can reach her and grab. Part of her hem is attached to the wood. She's dangling above the plank. I will say you're easily able to grab what's dangling and because she hasn't started plummeting, she's not free falling. You're easily able to help her back up onto the plank. Watch your zip there, Quig.

She is, you pull her up and you're able to hold onto her. She's still flailing, ha, ha, ha, oh. You're all right. I did not have my Graco. Oh. As she looks, nobody went for Crick-home. So, I was gonna ask if there was anyone in the vicinity had a chance of saving.

I'm walking along. Who'd see earmuffs? You know, there's actually kind of a coincidence about this low-tared skiff. Back in Gobron College, I knew this guling. and she had a nickname. Ah! I'm interested in trying to save him around.

Oh, he's upside down in the mud. His legs are just doing this. He'll probably drown soon. If Grigold anywhere near when he tries to fall, I would try and catch him. As all of this is happening, almost as if moving through the shadows, and an obscene reflex rape, Torbeck, you, see out of the corner of your eye as crummy steps backwards, trying not to get involved with

the chaos that's ensuing in front of you. And you see as he does step clear off of the causeway. And with the reaction time of an Eldridge being, I don't know, you reach out with your long, spindly arms. And instead of reaching forward, you reach into a hole and not in the causeway. And you're able to grab Kremi before he, before he completely falls. Kremi, you feel yourself plummeting down and then you stop as you are now chest tight with the causeway and you're just looking out and your eyes meet Torebex and you see that he has you. You are saying, I, Mr. Crammy, ah, Torbex got you. As you begin to hear the screams, this crick of moments,

To be on your feet to the graph. Oh, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Could I try it same gridcom? I goofy the fuck alpha off of the plane. I'm gone. What are you going to try and do? And set simple at the...

Now I would say, yeah, you're easily able to do that. Uh, Torbeck had to make a split second decision and didn't choose Grego. Torbeck had two of arms. Yeah. This one was preparing to be. And eat my pose sneaking mango snack. What would you, what are you doing? It possible.

If possible, if we see everyone is falling off the gangway all at the same time. And I presumably, if I am quick enough to see that Torback is gone for Crimea already. then I would try and dive towards the opening where Grico was, and even if I couldn't get my hand to him in time, try and throw the end of my chain down so that as he's falling, if I could do it quick enough, it would be something that he could grab onto in the fall. I thought you were going to light him on fire. That's my second option. I won't let you drown, buddy.

That's no way to die. As I lay on fire and grab on the Gideon's chain, I'll just hold up a thumb. As I sink down. You roll a dexterity saving throw for me, please. Oh, sorry, buddy. And I will say because you do have your chains, and it's a clever use of them, you can roll at advantage. While you're rolling, Nikki, I was so horrified when you said that, like, the wood splintered underneath twig. I bet you were gonna blow out of pencil.

I'm like, no! Yeah, so did I. You were like, and it breaks. And I was like, oh my God, the wood that you're standing on it. Oh, no. 19, 19. Okay. Grico is telling this story that you don't know

if it's real or fake. And as he gets to the punchline, walks just straight off of the causeway. I've known a couple Tiffany. Zabrico! And you are crack. Look out, man. You hurl your chain and you wrap it around his waist.

As he's dangling there over the side, you're able to haul him back up. But you realize that this causeway is deceptive. That clearly these herring gons are light of foot, and they must know all of the safe spaces to move along these. wooden pathways. Because clearly, this is not a safe passageway. And though you do have the entire length of it to make your way to Briggins tollway, you will have to find a clever way to make it there. Just walking will be precarious. This would take forever, but I could use my mind to test the creeks for each board we, if I'd walk on and find the silence. a creek have to do with this.

We're on top of a one fuck, wait, friends, and almost die. The creaking sound like this. Yeah, I almost died. Bricko, maybe almost died, I don't know. Yeah, you guys all okay, by the way? That was probably pretty, uh, and two of them

got mango all over my dog. Sorry. No, no, I'm still hanging above the swamp. Where did you speak? Dr. Mango? Quick, you anchor my chain, Grico, go up here. Oh, good job keeping your em-ups on Hoots.

You can take him off. Hey, well, why don't, I mean, we can, you know, we can wrap the end of this chain around Grico, just tied around him like a belt, and then why does he just run back and forth up the gangway? If he breaks through, right? He doesn't get him back up. I could turn into something live and athletic.

Well, then we got, how are we going to follow you? No. Turn into something giant and heavy. When I just crash through? Yeah, probably. and you just break on the boards that'll, you know, that'll bad. Oh, Torbeck thinks you should choose an elephant.

Oh, it's a little, I mean, I'm not that strong of a druid, you know. Oh, you know, I'm pretty good, but it's, you know, it's kind of a big, it's kind of a big amy now, you've seen an elephant? Yeah, okay. Well, like, you know, Torbeck's got those big long arms, like, you can just stretch them out and just start knocking on the wood in front of us. I do my best donkey car. You know what? You know what?

Chonkel be really cool? You know what they're really cool? If we made friends with a family of termites and ask them to get into the wood and find out where the wood's good. It's funny. Does everybody know a family of termites? No.

No. Yes, once, but it's not important now. Torbeck knows please. Do you? Do you please know anything about wood? No. Grigo can probably turn into a termite. I can turn into a termite, quite a large one.

I'll learn that trick from a fella named Mumbo. Oh. Yeah. And while I met it, this is feeling like a little bit of a ghost valley one from a Super Mario card situation. And I feel like the way that we handle this is by me turning into a giant monstrous archetypes. Oh, but hell if it was ridiculous. Very different. Do you know how many...

Do you know how many bones are in an elephant, Torbeck? Probably at least 12. 342. Torbeck was close. Do you know how many bones are in an octopus? There was a two. Less than 342. Oh, did you know?

Did you know there are at least 286 flies in the Feywild at any given time? At least Yeah There are some that bite It's special on the beaches You try and go out there And you're all covered in oil Ready to get tan

And then these big old flies Come up and rip the skin off of your legs And by the time you go home You have no skin left I heard that the reason Why flies bite is for sexual reproduction There's that what

Is that true? What? Yes, that's actually true. Oh, my God, I never went out on a beach ever again. They need it in order to reproduce. They need to bite my legs. If you don't think I have a custom stab lock about this for a future. You roll a natural 20 propagate 40 flies. It's not for nutrition.

It's only for sex. Why are you licking your lips while you say that? No reason. You're normally so neutral about to take. I do think... Please have a question. Why do we think putting a giant creature

on a rickety causeway is going to be in any way advantageous to us? No, I don't. No, what I think it is that I can be a big old tentacle creature and I can smack everything.

And completely break the causeway so that there's no way travel in an on it period because you're just trying to crass straight through it once you're trying to the giant octopus. I think I feel like I was going a little too much towards the Ghost Valley one where it was just always very sturdy places

to go on. That's a good point. We could just destroy the whole thing if you don't want to do. Well I was just trying to go of just the simplest route which was always going to turn into an ocumptopus. Do you think maybe the simplest route would be to just pay attention to what we're doing? Let's just move gently. We've never done that before.

Either that or we run real fast, Crash Bandipus style. Maybe we should have the most, the most smartest and dexterous person in the front, and Grico in the back. I'll lock them odds. Well, let's approach these dire, dire darts with care.

And buy you boogie! I'll take the lead. I'll take the rear. Uchi, you're a way. with me because you're very clumsy. Thank you, Twig, for, yes, I need to stay with Fucci, because she's not very graceful. Dormack will just stay in the middle.

Torbeck has long arms. Why don't you go second, man, because then the person at the first start going down. That's a good idea. Because if he's in the middle, he has two arms, so as long as he's, as long as he's not baiting, he can reach in both directions in case something happens. Yes,

but you have to stay close to Dormack. I'll stay close to Tormac. Do you think I could just, ride on your shoulders, Torbeck? Of course, if you want to. You stink, but that's okay. The Dormake can't really help it.

Just get up here. Up me. Twig is nestled between one of the vials on your back and your neck, and she's just sitting there with her head on your head. This is great. I can see so much stout from up here.

It's almost like I have advantage on my perception. Oh. Well, um... Which is really lost. It doesn't matter. Don't get your ups up, guys. Oh! I will start to make my way slowly. I need everybody's passive perception.

I'm sneaking and I am casting resistance on myself ongoing. 14. Also 14. Passive perception? Oh, it's a donkey. Are you rolling or is it just passive? I just rolled for no reason. I rolled for no reason. That's 3.14.

Is it 8 plus the thing? It should tell you under senses. Oh. Sances. I'll remember when... When Boss Mass came around the 82 census. Wow. 13.

I'm missing one. Man, we're not very perceptive, aren't we? No. I'm very prospective. It is... I remember that'll be a 17. Oh, no. Let's go. The Grister.

You make your way along the causeway, and are you just going straight toward the stump, or are you... No, I'm attempting to zigzag and see if I can find a side route. I'm keeping my eyes on the causeway as much as possible, letting the rest of my gang focus on looking around. I'm assuming they would be smart enough to do that. And I'm using my hand and sort of taking steps at a gentle pace, toe first, toe first. If I feel a little creak, I'll shift a little bit to the left, and just sort of create the line as I make my way to attempt to reduce the possibility of falling because of traps, certainly, but also just to mitigate our sound as much as possible. Okay. You are able to do this.

you are focusing your mind on the goal ahead of you and you are able to spot the places where the wood looks weakest where you start to notice patterns you can see indentations where clearly the area of the wood

has been worn more than others spots where Heron might have jumped to knowing those spots are the strongest and you begin to, your mind begins to see what this is. And it, like a puzzle, you're able to now clearly see as you look along, that's a dangerous spot. That's a safe spot. Dangerous, safe. And the deduction is no longer necessary, is your mind has fully wrapped around what visual cues to look for to know where you can move.

and you all create a sort of rhythm where frost moves, the next follows. And it does take a while. This is a long winding pathway up to this stuff, but you are making progress as you move forward and take the next path to the left and then to the right. Then you wind back and then another. And finally, you're on a straight shot directly towards Brighen's more way. There is just this one path ahead of you.

I believe we've worked around the trunk as much as we can before we have to actually approach this possible ambush. Do we have any plans for when we get inside if we are confronted, perhaps aggressively?

Do we lost the element of surprise, I presume? Well, the hill did. It's just a question of whether or not we're being observed. I could try climbing up to stump, turning into something spooky with hooks for hands. Oh, Torbeck can climb two. It can go with Grico. We can go together.

Body system. So, you know, I'll still use a presence. Foreback, stop breathing on my neck. Oh, sorry, it's just kind of the general air of Torback. No. Kidin, stop breathing on my neck. Well, I don't, no, I'm not breathing on your neck. I'm way over here.

Grummy? Stop breathing on my neck. I'm grinned. I'm a good. An odd feeling suddenly comes over you as you become aware that somewhere along the way, a hunched hooded figure has joined the group. The cloak falls away as you watch with lightning speed, a creature barely taller than Grico.

leaps around you. A flash of blue encircling you, I keep it all over myself. Encircling you, as you hear, you have been being watched by none other. The Nagden Longscar, the brigand prince of Prismere. Oh, man.

Damn it, Agden. You guys are you going. You've inspired me to sing a song, one of my favorites. We are the mediocre presidents. You won't find our faces on dollars or, on sense. There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Tyler, there's Phil Moran, there's Hayes,

there's William Henry Harrison. I died in 30 days. We are the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable, caretaker, presidents of the U.S.A. Okay, but can we talk about the fact that my favorite president, Berthurfordby

Hayes? Number 19, number 19, everybody. Got it. Be-hays. He was mentioned in that song. I was always a big fan of Grover. Some people. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon.

Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive camp and set on the high seas. Shroud over Saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crookedmoon.com. to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Proken Moon, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more.

Thank you. Immediately, this entity begins to whip around you, a flash of blue, as you look this way and that, trying to pinpoint this, creature before finally he stops on one of the posts along the causeway. Clearly, a Harrigan man dressed in studded leathers holding a, why can't I think of what it is called, a branding iron, holding a branding iron that is clearly illuminated on the tip. It's bright red coloration is.

smoking and steaming. You see that the brand on it is the symbol of three hair and gons attached tail to nose in a triangle pattern. I could actually show you. Red Hunt brand you think. Like the human centipad? Oh my God. I was trying to think of a pun about hairs and rabbits, which give it time before you waste them. I was thinking like an auroboros instead of serpents, rabbits. Yes. So it looks like this.

Oh. That's complex for a brand. Oh, I think I know what that means. Free hair. And that's why it's always hot. In the other hand, he holds aloft a shield and wrapped around his neck is a 15-foot-long blue scarf that trails off behind him. The end of it is tattered and ripped and broken.

And for the sake of it, I will show you a picture. of him. Oh, he's been on the map the whole time. This is, he's the guy badass. He's right here. Dude, this is awesome. He was under our noses the whole time. How can we never thought of a branding iron as a weapon? How sick is that? Because it's really fucking dark. My next character

is gonna have a huge pair of cutting shears. Yeah. I'm just at me hook. This is sick. He, um, he stops and brandishes his branding iron and immediately you are met with the sound of bagpipes that erupt from somewhere overhead.

And a song, a song that you have heard before, as herringens pop up all along the top of Briggins' tollway. You see archers. You see melee fighters. There are at least 50, if not more, herringone staring down at you as they all begin to sing the song of Agden Longskirts. He raises his hand and holds them at bay.

As you notice, the waters begin to rise. There's a skiff on either side of this causeway. And in it, two herringone. Two archers, clearly with their arrows pointed at all of you. And two look to be melee fighters. They're cracking their knuckles. They're looking at you with a mischievous grin on your face. and Agden looks down

at all of you from his perch atop this atop this post you must pay the toll or leave where I am Agden Longscarf Brigin Prince of Prismair and you shall not pass

We may have made a mistake fellas Paulet! Paulet! Start beating It's too late for that frog. Twigs stay close to me. Yes, what my friend said. Agdon, we would like to hear more about the toll. We'd like to part a lane.

You must pay the toll. Give up the goods. What exactly is the toll? Whatever I want. Give me what you've got until I'm satisfied. Oh. That Dormick quite literally has nothing. Trinkets, money, everything.

I want at all. I'm not giving you my clothes. That top hat. Pass it over. I like narrow my eyes, yeah, it's in the jacket too. What do you think you are, fella? He hops around and circles you quick as lightning.

What kind of total is that? You say this at him, but then he's gone in the flash of an eye, and as you try to follow him by the time, your head gets back to where he was, he's been standing there leaning on his, on his knee, staring at you as if he had never lived.

He's fast. Oh, Gricko, what are we gonna do? Torbeck doesn't have anything. Well, you know, I mean, I thought he'd get in a little, like, maybe like five of them. That's a lot. I feel like this is, like, maybe, like, two times that. Perhaps we can get them all to stand in the line

and just come at him one at a time. I mean, we're on a bridge. We're not walking 50 straight at us from. We're as in an alleyway as we can possibly be. They're going to have the Atreity's warbag pops and play, Who are you? The proud man said, wicked red wedding till you get in.

Can you punch an arrow? They've got bows and arrows. I will say, for what it's worth, You did see him raise his arm and stop all of the herringon that are atop Briggins tollway from descending. It clearly looks like he's ready to challenge you should you be up to, should you feel you're up to the challenge? And he is with four hair and gongs in total.

Trial by combat. Toul by combat. What? Did you hear that? We've decreed. told by combats. As was decreed, yes. These weaklings think that they

can challenge me. Agden Laskoff, Briggin Prince of Prismia. All of the herringons begin to cheer and chant. Agden! Agden! Agden! Does that work? If that is what you require,

then Agden will provide. They all clap and cheer. He attempts to swish, his scarf around his neck and it spins and spins and spins. And then he flips it the other way and it furles out behind him. He raises his brand up into the air and you watch as it pops the embers burning hot as he looks out at you. This guy's a chat. Rousa, which will be you, becomes king, becomes a new brigand prince of Briggins tollway.

because Agden never loses. Agden has someone special on his side. And you see as the herringons all kind of shirk away and kind of look this way and that, almost as if they know what he's talking about, but it's unspoken. He said the loser becomes the prince? Winner.

All we got to do is lose? The winner. Well. I just misspoke. We never back down from a challenge, and I'm the bravest goblin you've ever known. I'll select Gideon as my champion to fight. That's how that works, right? There will be no champion.

Adin Longscarf and his four companions, for that's all I need. We'll challenge all of you. Including the little one. He points at Twig. And me? No, no, no, no, no. I gotta fight? No, look, there's five of you,

and there can be five of us, and I pointed the five of us. Yeah, and Hoochie stays out of it. Yeah, she's not part of this, man. Those odds are much too low. Agedon Longscarf will destroy all of his foes, and that includes the little ones. You ready for this twig?

You gotta get angry. I am. You gotta get mean. But if I can't read. We would, especially if you eviscerated that rabbit god. I would eviscerate you two. Oh, that's less. My bugger knows not friend from foe.

Oh, it's a little bit of danger. That's exciting. Well, we might need that, so keep it in your back pocket. Okay. Roll for initiative. Yay! He's died always caught. I cast, kill all the rabbit.

Okay. I need to call customer service here. 18. On your die. My love, I want to. Also 18. Well, that's not for total. I also...

Oh, you've rolled an 18. Oh, okay, I got a total of 18. Let's go fucking 20. So, Laird is just the hair and gons. You mean hair? Thanks. It was intentional. You guys are all grouped up. He is in front of you.

Oh, so let's put... Okay. By himself. They're here. He's here. And then... And then on either side of you, there are two hair and guns that are each... and a skiff. So there's two skiffs, one on either side, two harangons in each. So there's no melee fighters on the board except him. There are two melee fighters,

but they're in skiffs. So in the skiffs, you see each skiff has a melee fighter, a guy who's cracking his knuckles, as well as an archer or a sniper. Yeah. As it were. 20 to 25. 24. 22. What do you do? What do you do? I'm doing a little math here one moment. I need to figure out what I'm going to do for here.

Exactly. 15 to 20. We both got 18s. Did you decide if you'd like to go first or do you? I want to go first. You sure? Yeah. I think so.

Who's going first? Torback. Torback. Okay. That's all I need to know. It's clearly come. Can we have that at the end with 18? That's crazy.

I mean, they are a bunch of rabbit folk. Yeah. So herringons have something called hair trigger, which gives them additional. Gotta go fast. And Twitch has rolled really high, so. With that, Agden smiles, his pearly white teeth, glinting in the light of his brand as he jumps forward. Who is directly in front of him?

Me. Oh, geez. Who was leading the way, though? Frost and Gideon, I think. Yeah, it was Frost. Frost was leading the way, for sure. Oh, no, he was facing May, so he was... Well, he was all over the place. Yeah.

He was everybody? Oh, yeah. I don't know who I'm either. I'm going to take this one. Just tell me which mini I am. Oh, are you, you can be Rodec. Okay. That's fine.

Is that this one? Yeah. It's the squat one. I'll meet you're. Can you move this for me? Oh yeah, sorry. You were your grim last time. Okay, that all makes sense.

Yauza. All right. Let's see if I remember how to play this character. That's very exciting. Agden moves forward towards you, Cremie. He leaps, a standing leap directly towards you as he waves his brand in the air, and he brings it in towards a piece of your exposed flesh, attempting to press the brand into your skin.

He is going to roll to attack on that. It only hurt for a second before your nerves die. Does 14 hit? No, wow. He waves it around quickly and goes in for a second brand. Oh my God, you're gonna fight with that thing? Does a 20 hit. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You feel the brand sear into your skin. The smell of burnt flesh assails your nostrils as the wound pangs with a fiery heat doing. Doing. And something awakens within you. Oh. Water, dude. Oh, no, I like it.

Doing 12 points of fire damage. Oh, my God. You feel the brand take hold on your skin. The brand itself is clearly magical. And now that you've been marked, you watch as Agdon smiles at you and winks as he disappears from view. Oh, shit.

Oh, my brain is saying, what a don't. My heart is saying what a dude. He disappeared. He's pretty good. You can see him just fine. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, he flippity flopped his brain? Huh? He flippity flopped. He's like he branded. He becomes invisible beer. Oh, no. Where the fuck do you go? Frost?

Mm. Yeah. Mm. Did someone say beans or breakfast? mind fucking things. Actually, immediately after, he looks towards, who's next to Crummy? I am in Grico is, I think. And I'm right behind him. And I'm right behind him. Grico, he is going to look

towards you. You're within five feet of him? In front of him? Is there anybody who's within five feet of Agedon? Just me. Just you. Okay, he'll do it on you. I need you to make a slight of hand check, please. Me? Yep.

Oh. What the hat's when I'm back in? You're about to lose your hat. Slide of a hat. Oh. That means crazy if he just starts like robbing us. Oh, what? Oh, sorry, you don't make a sleight of hand.

You make a perception check. Oh, yeah, it's probably a contest against his sleight of hand. I guess I'll keep that roll. 10. Oh, wait, no, no, I'm not. Twist it. It was a nine. This one twist.

We have a lot of twist. Yeah. I'm gonna choice. Thank you, Jeff. Great, you're gonna get the forehead flap. That's better. That's a 19. You feel the weight of something against your leg. That sounds so great. Oh, Jesus.

This is a fun, Agdon? It becomes very clear that he tried to pilfer one of your possessions, but was unsuccessful. Trying to pilfer my possessions or my heart? That's not my brand. My brids. Frost. I see this all happen very quickly in front of me.

Cremie, watch out. I'm going to try to do better this time, and I'll focus my hands together, and you'll see swirling energies, greens and purples. I'll start to mix and interchange, and I'll double the orbs in my hands into two orbs, and then launch one at Agden and then launch another to my side

at, uh, uh, did we make any distinctions between these four? Are they all identical? You can just say boat one and boat two. Uh, I'll make, uh, another attack against, uh, one is the,

one closest to Gideon. Okay, boat one. I'll, I'll, throw it into, um, this is for the matter.

Uh, they'll just leave my hands. They're levitating there and they'll just go in the direction that I think of as I make my first attack against Agden. Uh, that's going to be, a 24 to hit.

That hits. Okay. That's going to be damn, really low. Six points of lightning damage. And I will do the same against one of the creatures in one of the Herringon in boat one. And that's going to be a 14

to hit. That hits. There is 14. Outstanding. 12, additionally lightning damage. 12? Yeah, 12 goes to the other. You pick which one. You have a melee fighter and sniper in that boat. Sniper.

You fire this, or you launch this orb towards Agden, and he rears back as he takes the hit to his chest. But he writes himself very quickly moving with lightning speed. Seemingly taking the full amount of damage. He wipes the spit off of his, off of his face, and he looks at you, his eyes narrow, and he looks like he is coming for you next. As you turn your attention towards boat one,

and you hurl an orb in that direction, quickly making a choice, your eyes make their way to the melee fighter, but you switch over, realizing that the danger that a sniper holds, and you launch the orb towards them, and just as quickly as he is hit with it, he reels backwards out of the boat,

and you see the life, his eyes, his body plummet into the murky water around the skiff. A moment of quick silence, a loud gasp erupts from the top of the tree stump. All of the herringons are shocked to see such power in this moment, and they begin to mutter as they all lower themselves down and watch with bated breath, none of them making any effort at all to intervene. Careful, I didn't. This could go a lot worse than you think. Which one's dead?

Yeah, we have to take one off there. Which boat was it? It was an sniper. All right, yeah. No, rent. Rent's out of here. Crick up. Amazing.

I am going to, are these herring gum medium or small creatures, would I know? They're medium. They're medium. I am going to look at crime as I pull out my owl ocarina and I will say I'll play a little jaunty tune as I give you a healing word as a bonus action. Nice. And then I am going to, you know what I'm just going to do anyway. I'm going to continue to play. to play and I will leap forward as I transform into a small spiritual froggy meth, this large three-eyed

tentacled creature with a staff block of a giant frog. And I'm going to leap towards one of the herringone and try to basically attack it while I'm falling, or basically just try to grab it with my tongue while I'm falling. What do you mean while you're falling? He's like leaping off the bridge to get to the boat. The water is basically leveled. Oh, then what I'm going to do is I'll basically just leap forward and attack him. In my description, I mentioned how the water rose and boats came up with it.

So you could easily step onto the boats. I'm going to jump onto the boat and see if I can get them. Which one? Two. Pug. boat one or two. Is it the sniper or the melee? Is it the sniper or the melee?

Maylay. That is an 11. To hit? Yeah. That misses. Okay. I'm a frog, though. You watch as Grigo's body begins to change as it undulates and shifts.

And where this goblin body had been is now the form of a minuscule froginess. much smaller than what a froggy myth should be. But a froggy myth, nonetheless, as Grico hops onto one of the skiffs and makes an attack towards one of the herringone, unfortunately slipping on some of the moths that covers the side of the skiff, but he is nonetheless in combat range with them.

As Twig looks out from behind Torbeck's, Torbeck's head starts to climb down rather quickly and dexterously as she looks this way and that and sees the situation that Grico has found himself in, caught between two of these

herngon and she closes her eyes and waves her hand snows! And she casts sleep on the herringon in the boat. Nice. How much should I Oh, odds and roll up. Actually, I cannot heal you because I puts a bonus action to Wildshank.

That's fine. You don't get me dealing with it. I don't think of personal. I don't know why I thought I could do both. Why are you not telling me how many? D&D Beyond? What the hell? D&D Beyond. Gosh.

Gosh. Dungeon, you have to use the full name when you're mad. Dungeons and Dragons Beyond. It is literally not telling me how many dice to roll. Oh, no, there it is. Sorry, my bad. First look. They're Bolton. They're Bolton. Okay. Both of the hair and gone immediately get kind of woozy as they, is their eyes focused down on Grico's minuscule form and they both fall unconscious

in the boat. Grico, you are unaffected by the sleep. Wrong. Because it starts with lowest hit points. I'm gonna look at the frog. I mean, the rabbits. Ah, not too good. Try you good. Good job.

Well done. That's what I'm going to hold on. You're a big. Keep going. Keep going. You're doing great, Twazzy. The herringon that's left looks towards Eufrost, seeing that you have injured their brigand prince. It is the melee fighter, and he is going to use his lead.

as he jumps out of the, out of the skiff, is there a way for him to be next to, within five foot range of you, but also next to Agden? No. Not, not Frost. You could get to Frost me and Torbeck.

But not also, or you could get to Agden, Cremi Torbek, not Frost. Okay, he's gonna, he's gonna go for Frost. Or in this, in this, if you can jump, like, over. He has 20 feet of jump.

Well, is this legit? Yeah. I would say he's going to go for Frost. If he can't get it easily, he is just going to jump towards Frost. Okay. I'd say that's, I don't know if you guys got better. You see as he jumps towards you, he continues to crack his knuckles, but he reaches behind his back and pulls out a very large club that he spins around

and he's going to attempt to knock you unconscious with his club. You're some nasty-ass-ass-ass-ass. Does an 18 hit? It does. All right. Oh, no. Eight points of bludgeoning damage as he smacks you with the club. Ow.

I would like to react. I would like to react to that. Okay. As he comes in with the club and it's clear, he's about to hit Frost, I would like to, thematically ignite into a flame form, have my manacles kick in. As they were and twist and come to life, you would see on its heat gauge

that would kick into gear one. Nice. And the chains will immediately whip out, grab the end of the club, and redirect it to hit Agdon. Hell yeah. And that just happens. That just happens.

Okay. Does Agden need to be next to him? No. No? No, it's in 30 feet of the attacker. I don't think so. Yeah, because it's chains, so why couldn't the chains whip the club? When a creature, I can see within 30 feet,

that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Other than the attacker, within 30 feet of you to become the target of the attack. But the target of the attack, it's up to you. Yeah. I think it's cool if it's not specified that it's within. It just picks the club up.

You make the same. You make the same. And then brings the club back to. the herring. So it retains the same attack roll. So it also depends on what his. And what was the attack roll was 18? Yeah, he could end up missing Agden. Was it 18? Using the same role. Do you chat? It was 18. Okay, it will miss them. Wow. But you still save the damage, which is awesome. But you don't take the damage. Yeah. He's fast. He's fast. That is very cool. You watch his act in very easily. He's not even

looking, but as the fiery chains, burning a similar ember color to the brand that Agden holds himself, as it whips towards him incredibly quickly, catching everyone else off guard. Agden, like the speed of lightning moves out of the way, just a smidge, the tiniest amount to avoid being hit. Oh, that's big! And you hear a chuckle deep in his throat as he seems to be enjoying this. Well, well done, Gideon, thank you. I do not take the damage.

You do not take the damage. Hot-nigdy-dog. Um, Torbath. Okay. As soon as violence breaks out, automatically without Torbeck's knowledge, the equipment in his back begins to hum and glow and whir.

The plungers drop, his eyes turn magenta, and I use a bonus action to consume a mutagen, which will increase my dexterity plus three beyond the maximum, if that's the case. You hear the cracking of bones

and the twisting of flesh as his arms and limbs begin to grow. There's this hideous snarl smile that appears on his face, and he breathes deep. Oh, it feels so good to be free. And I will use my action to use living needles and shoot five lust-like fingers at Agden, and I need him to make a DC-14 strength-saving throw.

Holy shit. So this is the No, dude, come on. This is the thematic equivalent of the Woodland Critter Christmas of them trying to fight and then Santa coming with a shot on. I am gonna use a twist of dread. Okay. He will pass.

He very deftly gets out of the way of the needles, and that is Torbeck's entire turn. Well done, Torbeck. You watch as he is able to move out of the way of the needles, but you see a look of confusion and shock and fear as he looks at you and then his eyes move up to the contraption on your back as the realization hits that what is powering you is clearly witchlike. Oh, he knows. For the first time, you see the mask crack and pure fear. appear on his face, there is something about you, Torbeck, that absolutely terrifies him. Guys, gas, gas, gas, it's happening again!

What the hell? Where, so in, I'm right here, in this map, I guess we just like quickly did it. If he's here, where in relation is the stump? The stump is about 20 feet away. And what, like, this away, this away? Like, he's in between us in this dump. I can't see over the DM screen, to be quite honest with you.

Let's just say it's 20 feet away, you can't get to it. Okay. Yeah. I would like to go here, if I could. Can I stand here? Yeah. Excuse me, kidding. If it's 20 feet behind him, as...

I would say it's behind him, yeah. Okay, behind him. As I ignited my flame form, I heat up the flaminges to die down and pool into my manacles. I've entered gear one for my ability before. And I'd like to say to Agden, you know what's funny. You know what wood does?

It burns real good. And I'd like to cast burning hands out in a 15-foot cone. And it will ignite all of the wood. Beyond him and stretching out towards the... towards his stump kingdom. Okay. If it'll ignite. It has to be ignite a bowl.

Not my stump kingdom. And it's just a deck safe. My stump kingdom, no. No. I just took a stump in my pants. Jesus. What, man? I just refurb as the kitchen of my stump kingdom.

So I would punch out with my fist. Not even attempting to connect with him, but just out of the manacle would blast forth, like a shotgun blast of fire. 22? Oh, that'll pass. He'll pass. So...

And he's going to use evasion, so he'll take no damage. Okay, come on. And you're going to really hate me, but this is all waterlogged wood. So it would not catch fire the way that you hope it would. As you ignite past him, he lets out a hearty laugh. clearly

in provocation to you as he mutters under his breath idiot well shit guys I don't account for the fact

that it's all fucking wet we're in a swamp listen I didn't think this thing's always existed above the waterline as far as we could tell who knew it was wet up here what the house I'd assume

has ever been writing a module where it's like the wood is very water long. It's not going to catch on fire. Or spread fire. I'm like, oh, this is not going to worry. Humidity's like 98%. All right. Who knows how to measure

humidity, all right? This thing is better to eat. You saved me. I came up completely soaked. Well, you fell in the wood. I was like 25 feet in the mud. How do I know what? Anyway. That was just damp wood. I'm fucking action surgeon. I run up and I try and punch him in a stupid rabbit good.

Oh, that's good. It's like punching a medicine ball. It's like, yeah. I miss. I think it's a 17. Did you get tested? That misses. I think you, I would twist it.

I'll twist it. You know what I mean? This guy's, this guy's crying. It's not like you can have a drop-down out of it. Yeah, it wasn't meant to be. Yeah, you rush up, you feel yourself filled. with anger as he mocks you. And you muster up enough energy for a final attack

as you rush forward and attempt to punch into him. But the wood is wet and it is slick. And you stumble on a mossy patch. And you swipe, you punch in. But he moves slightly to the side and lets out a hearty laugh. The herringon that are all around Briggins tollway at the top on top of the stump. all begin to roar with laughter as they watch you miss.

And you hear as they all begin to mutter and joke and pick fun at you. Well, it would work if you'd clean the fucking place up, Agnan. All right, it's a dump. Take care of your stupid gangway. You got rot right there. Fucking hate these guys. You pronounce dump.

Crammy. Uh, do I, would I notice that the voice I heard from Torbeck it seemed like a different Torbeck than what I would know absolutely but Torbeck is

seems like he's not focused on us he's focused on the rabbits for now yes I very clearly went after he very clearly went after Waltzoff Torbeck in Twigsier to have been a together to take us down. Oh, my right, Torbeck, thanks for saving my life earlier.

I really appreciate it. You're the best. Let's get these guys. You're my favorite employee, Tollbe. Employee in the month, in fact. Do I see, is Agon still invisible to me? Yes. Oh.

He did taunt. Who did he taunt? He taunted Gideon. And you see, you see, you see your Everybody has been attacking him, but you are unable to see him or perceive him in any way. So he is invisible to you. All right. You will be at disadvantage.

Two can play at that game. I don't know where the fuck you are. We're going to try this. I'm just going to take my cane and it's going to sort of glow with this kind of eerie neon magic. And I'm just going to sort of swing wildly where I think he is and attack him. disadvantage and cast and flicked wounds. Oh, I rolled a natural one. Oh, no.

So that doesn't hit. Well, what is your bonus? Let's spice things up. Yeah, if I just keep going forward. I'm going to use a twist of dread on that in a new way. Oh, I need you to roll a D6 for me, please. Oh, no. I can't be good.

Oh, it's to hit one of us. You got the forehead flap. You spin around and you let out this magical ability. Do you have to roll a hit? This is, yeah. Oh, that was. That was it. Yeah.

Yeah. So you rolled a one. You fired off haphazardly as you are horrified of what's happening to Torback. Agden has now disappeared. And you let this magic fly. as Twig looks towards Torbeck. Torbeck was a threat! And you hit Twig square in the body,

doing how much damage. Oh, no, Twig! And you hear, the second it connects with her skin, you hear this ominous jazz as this dark shadow almost leeches from her essence. And she feels, she almost starts to. wither.

She might. I mean, it was a second level in Flick Woon. Whoa. Shit. Twigs are going to boggert and just kidding. Bravo, Nick. I love you so much.

That was pretty good. I love that shit. Critical failure. I love it. Twig. I'm going to be so happy. For the foreseeable future, we are changing twists and dreads,

so I'm trying this out this session. I love it. But for the foreseeable future, I can use a dread to natty fumble. I love that. At your discretion. At my discretion, yeah.

Yeah, because otherwise it's like difficult to tear. Because like if you natural one on something, I personally feel like your character should be able to succeed with with your super dexterous. So a plus 13, it makes it a plus 14. Yeah, you should easily be able to do that.

I'm not going to natty one. Well, also, Gideon will, it's going to have like 14 attacks by the end of this session or this campaign. So like he's definitely going to roll 14 natural ones at some point. Yeah, at the same time. and you know what happens to forehead in the no situation.

Fuck off, Derek. I just grabbed the chain and I start swinging in a circle and everyone, oh, oh, oh, oh. Frost, look down at Grick-Goan said, do you see how grimy hit her in the body? Oh, wow. You see how hard he inflicted looms on the body of the wing? 24 necrotic damage. Oh, my God. That spell is nasty.

That would almost second. I love that spell. You watch as Twig is hit with this magic and you see her eyes begin to roll back in her head. Her entire body is illuminated with this sickly green magic. As all of a sudden, her flesh begins to shift and change as her cheeks sink in and you can see her cheek bones stand out. Her body begins to look frail and sapped of all vitality,

and she begins to wither in front of you. She crumples to the ground and gasp out for breath. She is barely hanging on. I'm sorry. Oh, God, I did. That's it. It's all I say. I have got like two seconds. Yeah, that's fair.

It is Acton's turn. Agden looks at all of, Oh, actually, how does that affect? That doesn't affect it at all. So her sleep is still holding strong because it's not concentration. Agden looks around and his eyes dart to you, Frost. And he quickly leaps behind you.

You don't want this action, Agden. And he is going to, he swings around with his brand and attempts to sear it into your skin with an 18. That is? Um, no, fuck that. I'm going to cast shield. Oh. Okay.

He is going to. As soon as I lose sight of him, I surround myself with a psionic bubble that protects my essence a little bit better than my normal. His brand bounces off of the mind prison that surrounds you. the energy shell that you've created. And he is not deterred as he once again swings in with the brand, aiming for the exact same spot he hit, hoping to be able to pierce through it. Okay.

D.C. is 21 now. Okay. Well, he's going to hit with a 24. 22. Sorry. He's stuck. I'm sorry, Denjin, Master. 17 plus 7 is 24.

That's a lot. I know. No, no, we're good. It's a 22. I said that. And he is going to pierce in with his branding iron doing 12 points of fire damage. And just as he does, as he pierces through your shield, you watch as he hits the shield with the branding iron, and he continues to push it through.

And as the hot, magical branding iron hits the shield, you begin to see it melt. As the brand pierces through and directly. into your flesh. And as it sears you and you rear back, he smiles at you and winks as he disappears from you. Wow. And that is his term, Frost. You're God.

You may be blind to me now, Agdon, but that doesn't mean I can't find you with my mind. You've seen what, my friends are. capable of, you know what is going to happen. Stand down. Or my friend Torbeck here, my friend Gideon,

Cremie, Frigo, too. That's the worst. Brico is the worst. This won't end well for you, and you'll have failed in front of all of your companion. Stand down. I'm going to dissonant whispers.

Oh, nice. Those words start to echo and elaborate, and this doubt grows in his mind as it clouds. He needs to make a wisdom-saving throw, and I apparently don't need to see the creature that I'm doing this, too. So I just say that out loud. And on a failed save, he's going to DC, Wisdom-saving throw 15.

Unless you want to eat some twist of bread, either that or he's going to twist a fled. Anything else? What does it do? Oh, he takes 3D6 psychic damage, and this is my favorite part. He uses his reaction to move his maximum speed away from me. Oh, fuck. I'm going to twist of dread it.

Yeah. Holy fuck. He said wisdom? Yeah, 15. 22. All right. All right. He still takes half damage, right?

The creature, yes, he takes half as much damage, so he will still take psychic damage as he attempts to resist my building. He's going to use his reaction to uncanny dodge? Can he do that? It's no, it's just, yeah, it's just. Oh. He takes half of 16. All it says is Agden has the damage that he takes from an attack that hits him.

It's not an attack that's hitting. It's a saving throw. Oh, okay, okay, okay. That's right. Eight points of psychic damage. Bernie Hans wasn't an attack either. That's half of six cases. He didn't on Kenny Dodge.

Oh, that's a new agent. Oh, got it. You do not have to move away, however, as I attempt to infiltrate his mind with these sinister thoughts. He, you are able to do that. The psychic damage causes him to let out a howl of pain. All of the hand gone atop Brigh's tollway

look down in shock, seeing their Brigh a prince scream out like this. The mask he wears of his confidence and his ability to withstand anything, to be above everything.

Unable to be hit, super quick. All of that begins to crack as they see that you are able to harm him. And you see as they begin to mutter and whisper to each out. Soing doubt in their mind.

about their prince as he lets out this yell. Even gods can believe. I mean some. That's much better than that. I'll stay where I am. No bonus action. No. No.

So Agdon's right there. Don't forget Twigs also. Twig is missing 95% for soul. But I see... Wait, fuck. I see what Agden is doing, correct? Yeah. I'm going to look.

I'm going to pop over to him, and you're going to hear, as I'm going to grow into a large six-legged crocodile. Oh. And attempt to spectral crocodile and attempt to chomp on to Agden. As you can wild shape from form to form, as long as you spend the action. Nice. Wow.

That's cool. Yeah, that's sick. You could just drop it and then, you know, do it again, but it's cooler to go from beasties. Yeah, I think that's better. It's like you bind the wild, the shapes in what you're called? I'm going to make a bite attack against, um... I'm going to twist this.

Yeah. This dye is not very cooperative. I'm going to do one more twist. I probably shouldn't have done the crocodile. It's okay. We need a Gricoe hit here. Oh, that looks big. 22.

Nice. Oh! As the spectral crock-liske with tendrils on its face will lunge forward and chomp its jolz, I am going to deal a bit of damage here as, wait, is this? Oh, no. This is not the right one. Whoops. Sorry, you look up the right.

We established the 22 hits. 22 hits, yeah, for sure. I think my guess is as easy as 20. 19 doesn't hit? Oh, we don't know. I like doing my thing during time. I think we landed in 18 and it didn't hit. Maybe it was just 17.

18 didn't hit for sure. 18 didn't hit for sure. Okay. Oh, I do you deal 11 points of piercing damage, and he is now grappled. He is going to, he can reaction this one, yeah? Correct. Yes.

So he's going to reaction this, and you'll do five points of damage. of damage. How do you like them grapples? As he uncanny dodges and he doesn't take, you sink your teeth into him, and instead of getting the full amount of teeth, you only get a few. Get him in his paw, like a, like the grapple, the grapple is, he still grapple, correct? Yeah. Does that give Twill big and great? It does. It does. Oh, no, that's a trap, it's a, it's a grapple. I think they're both at, Actually, to grapple him, I do need, you do have to make an athletics check. Oh, is this part of the attack?

Yes, but to grapple him, you have to make an athletics check. It is part of Agden's. Oh, because he's so slippery. Oh, so even if it is an attack, okay. Even if it's part of your attack. Okay. To grapple him at all. Athletics.

To pin him down, you have to make a successful D.C. athletics check. Go for the forehead. Go for his mind. Oh, it's been weakened already. Athlennics, you say? That's beautiful. 21. That is enough.

Nice. I can hear you. So yes, you are able to grapple him. With him in my jaws, I'm on this large crocodile creature. I am going to feel the water under my tail, and I'm going to basically try to slide into the water and pull underneath. Oh, my God. This is classic crocodile birding rabbit. As I've seen this, I've seen this.

the sci-fi channel at least 20 times. Oh, I watch it. Are you doing this on your turn? Yeah, I'm doing it. Oh, fuck yeah. So I'm pulling him in, so I have, I've used five feet to get here, and so I have 25 feet of swim,

which then is halved, rounded down, so I can go 10 feet underwater. 10 feet underwater. Oh, that's perfect. You drag him 10 feet underwater? So I have added in my job. I have added in my job. So this spectral crocodile 10 feet underwater

as I'm swimming down. The other Harrigan are watching this, they're like, you know, his scarf wasn't that long. I mean, he really wasn't that good of prince, everybody. Yeah, we just pack it in. It is Twig's turn. I'm death rolling. Yeah, you're contractually out.

Twig. Twig grasps at her chest and attempts to breathe as her eyes swim, and she is barely holding herself up. but that is literally all she can do. Oh my God. Oh, I'm so sorry, I feel so bad. Actually, what she will do is she'll look towards, she'll look towards one of the,

one of the Heron Gone, the sniper, and she'll go, I could snipe two. And she's going to let out her Eldridge blast at this one, just knowing that if she were to go unconscious, that she wouldn't be able to help anymore. And so she is going to. She's good. I'm panning.

I took the Eldridge invocation spell sniper. She will hit and she is going to do a total of. The heron gons head is gone. 14 points of damage and you watch as in a puff of green fog. This herringon is blasted by her strange swampy magics and

he is completely torn limb from limb. Oh, right through the crunch. From that angle? Both of the snipers have been removed from combat. Oh, my crotch. My crotch. Dway Kimmits a war cry.

All other herringone looking down. You know, his crotch wasn't that long. I was sleeping. Oh, yeah, he doesn't face. Yeah, he should die. She's going to roll at disadvantage. It's fine. The other one was a natural one.

Oh, my God. Because he is technically prone. So, wait, just to make sure there should be one asleep, and there is one melee guy. The robot. The dandy, the dandy toe, their hair. They've stopped cracking. The melee guy is next to Frost and Torbeck.

The other one is in the Bodhis League. So the only people who are next to the melee one are Frost and Torback. Correct. Oweig isn't there in any capacity. That's Twiress. That's Twitter. She's over here.

She's here. She'd be, well, she would have been close to crammy, so she would be here. over here somewhere. Oh, yeah. That's fine. Whatever. Is she in range?

Of what? No. No, no, no, no. She's not. No matter how you slice it. Okay. Just making sure. You can't do it.

You can't do it. But Frost is? Oh, yeah. Frost is for sure. Frost, definitely is. I'm still shielding. He looks around. He seizes this slumped over emaciated twig

blows his friend to smithereens. He looks up to, he looks over a, as Agden is pulled. How on earth is this? I hope it's Hellboy. Hellboy. Classic.

That's vintage of ambulance. He looks over as Agden is pulled by this spectral crocodile into the fetid swamp. He looks up at Torbeck as witchlight is being pumped into his body. His needle-like claws or, reaching out. And then he turns to Frost. And he goes,

and he takes his club and he swings it around. Yeah. And he makes an, he rolls intact against you with a natural one. Oh, you, you home with that, but. You know what? I mean, he's just because I want to. I don't like natural ones. That's the point of a truth of Jed. You got a lot of them. You love rolling 18s on me tonight. I'll get my hit points. out. It's 14 plus four. Yeah, that's fine. Does it work?

Yeah. Perfect. Yeah, yeah. I've had an AC17 except for the shield. I'm not going to memorize it. It's been like 18, 18, 18, 18. I'm like, that's one more than I want. Ten points of bludgeoning damage. Two more. Two more. Thank you. Oh, I'm not feeling very well, gentlemen. I'm rolling like hot fire. And that's, that's his turn. Okay. I believe that Nightmare Torbeck is that dark Torbeck. Yeah.

Shadow Torbeck. There's absolutely chaos happening. The inflicted wounds, people getting blown to bits. Torbeck does not seem to give a shit at all about any of this. He hears Kremi's comment and looks him directly in the eye and says, You fucking think I'm Tolbeck. Ha! And moves to where he saw the crocodile slink back into the...

the water. I'm gonna right here. I've got plenty of movement. As he approaches the edge of the dock, he kind of gargoyles and his unnaturally long legs go up past his years and he's got one arm on the edge of the dock. He lifts up his other arm and the flesh begins to undulate and those needle fingers turn into like knife hands.

And it almost had like a glistening poison on them, like a magenta poison. I will take one D4 damage. Liquid witch light. Yes, I will take one. I will take two points of damage to do this. I'm using my witch light, right? That's so scary.

He's like a fucking Asian fishing cat. And then with lightning speed, I will make a melee attack straight into water. That's going to be a 22 to hit. That does hit. Looks like Agnan's back on the menu. We're about to end this whole man's story.

That's going to be four poison damage plus 11, I don't know, piercing damage, slashing damage of every you want it to be. So that's going to be 15 total points of damage. Damn! Um, yeah, and I will say he cannot uncanny dodge because I don't think he would be able to see you.

P. That's my whole thing if you were the tendrils out and blood splirts into the air, you pull back. You do this. You do this and you reach your hand in and you pierce into flesh. And in this moment, you don't know whether it's spectral crocodile flesh or herringon flesh, but it matters neither way as long as the end result is the death of your prey. And as you pull your hand from the water, the fetid swamp drips mixed with blood and attached to one of your long,

gnarled fingernails is a scrap of blue scarf. That's molder. Gideon. I say in crocodile, let's go. You fucking drag into the depths. Oh, fuck. If I wasn't so scared, that'd be so cool. Can I move past my team?

Is that fun? If I get here, that's right? Yeah. If I just jump this way. All right. Yeah, yeah. Stop aside. Stop aside. Pardon me. Excuse me. I come over for this melee guy,

because I'm thinking Agdon's not getting past a special crocodile. I'm dragging him to hell. And even if he gets out of it, there's a Dorebeck dragging him back to hell. So I'm going for this melee rabbit. And I will 24 to hit. Okay. You check. So it'll be

Seven points of damage And as I punch into him The heat will become a little stronger From my body and if you could see it You'll see the heat gauge kick into gear too And the chains will once again War to life and attempt to wrap around

This This melee Rabbit And that, it has to make a strength saving through TC 14. He's rocking the chains. Oh, and also, sorry, I also take. He fails. Oh, so the chains spring to life

and wrap around him and squeeze tightly and begin to burn. What is the save? I mean, I rolled a seven, so I don't think it's a 14. Yeah, no, he fails. And also, well, just one additional point. of damage and he'll take 2d6 fire yeah one additional point of fire damage so if he's wet and then uh 2d6 of damage i think on his turn oh no no he'll take 2d6 now and then he'll take

two wait let me show me this right he doesn't take any of the fire damage because he's waterlogged the 2d6 he'll take well so the attack using a weapon is 24 and 5 it takes an extra 2d6 must and then it must make a straight save yeah 2d6 now so I'll take 2D6 now, okay, and then 2D6 every turn. 12 points of fire damage. You look down as Torbeck pulls his arm from the water, and you realize that the situation is covered between Grico and Torbeck. As you turn towards the Heron gun that's now making his way over to the slumped body of Twig,

and you whip your chain up and all of you can feel the heat emanating from these chains as they begin to hum and vibrate and you see the mechanical contraption switch into gear too as you whip your chain around and like a hot knife slicing through butter your chains completely sever the hair and gone into. I look up with the stump and I say

Why are the rest of you come down here? Because we're just getting warmed up. Oh, yeah. And he says, my crotch again. I wasn't aiming to cut him through the waist, but it just happens. I will run up to twig, and I'll just take a quick look.

How does you look at it? Why? I'm sorry. It was an accident. I think everything's handled just in case. My, my, oh. I'll be her. You're gonna be okay, all right?

Just lay there. No, no, hey. For me? Thank you her. You're a wonderful adventure. Do I help? I'm gonna keep you real safe, all right? Okay.

Her glasses are cracked and falling off of her face. Oh, my God. Put my hand on her and this sort of shadow will appear around my hand who'll kind of blanket her. I kissed class in Flick-Boons. I don't feel so good with her crummy. It's so good to be a wounded here. I would like to cast the visibility on her.

Oh, no. She'll sort of, the shadow will kind of just make her disappear. Oh. Well done. And if I could, if it would take an action, then fine. But if I could use my free object interaction and pick her up. She's easy enough to pick up for a free object. I'm going to turn to Hootsie.

who's I guess you're I'm going to layer down almost under Hootsey and I'll and I'll say Just don't move, don't do it. Don't pass it spills. You watch his hootsey A soft

autumnal orange light glows in Hootsie's eyes and you can tell that she can see Twig even through this invisibility and she slowly moves over Twig and like a mother bear. She nestles her in her arms and she's clearly protecting her.

She's got a taste for hot John Jones. Yes. Oh God, I smell hot Jones. That's some great. Oh, I'm such a really delicious. You're a walnut. This goes straight to my thigh. I'm ruined.

I'm ruined. I'm ruined. Oh, no, she's just especially pissed because like, oh, I'm such a good father. They're coming into like, Hootsie. I need to go to jail. And she has an iPad and headphones. And then she's like, ooh, Swiki pudding.

Our sponsor for the night. Rage. Shadow. Oh, I'm a good dad, I'm a good dad, oh, Hucci, get to your fucking iPad, go away. That's wonderful. All right, Twig. That is what you've done.

No tax. And just don't. Don't do anything. Just leave that right there. You understand? Okay, crummy. I think I'm going to close my eyes and get some sleep. All right. Get some rest. Hussi. Just keep her safe. And I'm going to give Hootzi a scratch and all just sort of stand up and sort of try to like, you know, block her for many percent of arrows coming in. And you noticed as you, because I'm an awful person, you notice as you picked her up that her body felt very frail and that one wrong move and you could snap her in half like a Bird bones. No pun intended.

I'm very gentle. Osteopulosis. Do I have any help? Mr. Bones was here. That's my turn. I love that guy. It's Agden's turn. Yeah, good luck, bitch.

What options does he have to get out of your... It's an escape DC. I think it's low, like a 12, so he just needs a role in agrobatics. He uses action to make an acrobatics check or athletic check by doing acrobatics in order to wiggle his way free. I'm going to use a twist. Let me confirm that the DC is actually a 12 and not lower. Thank you, Chad, for doing your best to save this weak rabbit.

I would love to see Agne County get drowned in a death row. I just knew it back in a death row. There's no better way for this to go. What's the DC? Oh, sorry. I was 12, I think you said. I thought you already crushed 12, yeah. Yeah, he rolled a natural 15 plus 7.

He, with a 22, he is in your jaws, but he wiggles his body around. He lets out a gurgling yelp as your teeth sink deeper into his flesh. but he anchors his feet at the very back of your throat and kicks off. As you choke and sputter, he is able to propel himself out of your jaws and into the dark, murky waters, and you immediately lose sight of him.

As his feet hit my head, I go, Oh. He used the uvula. The uvula like a springboard. It's all about that uvula act. You immediately feel one pound lighter. Me? How many pounds?

One pound? One pound a lighter? Oh, he took him on two middle legs. I just got four now. Does he, is he under still underwater? As far as the rest of you can tell. He hasn't surfaced. Okay.

Do I see him? No. The water is far too murky, and the moment he propels out of your mouth, he is. He's gone in the dark. That makes sense. Frost? There's still one sleeping here. I made a war crime here.

I reach out with my mind to see if I can still communicate with this unseen Agden. And do I get a connection? Yes. Agden, reveal yourself to me. We don't have to end this in any more violence. If you reveal yourself to me so I can see you, I can see you. save you now. Just let me

bring you back up to the surface. We're looking to the water, and I will prepare to pass vortex warp to bring him safely up to the boardwalk. How does that work? It allows me to teleport him to a safe surface. Yeah. Effectively a forced

misty step where I would be able to bring him up. And I am promising sanctuary with my feelings and my money. And you can do that with a second level spell, but only if I can see his physical form. He's invisible to you. Exactly. If you can drop that. He's readying it. He cannot.

I still am making the ask, and when he doesn't say anything, I'm not taking any more actions. I will, I'll hold the mind sliver in case anyone attacks me. Okay. And that's all I'll do with my turn. Okay. You watch and you see bubbling in the water for a second, but then you see the head of a frog Just a standard everyday swamp frog poke up out of the water. But other than that, there are no ripples on the surface. We can still talk, Egnon. Dragonflies dip down at the water and flit away.

The buzzing of insects surround you. But all else is quiet. Grico. As I write myself, and I'm looking around and smelling in the water to see if there's any blood trail. I'm trying to get a sense if I can perceive where Agden is in this moment.

Do I get a sense that I could attempt to try to perceive him at all, or is it like a mystical he's fucking gone? If that makes sense. Roll a perception check. Roger,

that. Roja, roo to that. I didn't realize that the numbers on that D20 do that little wiggle thing. Yeah. Yeah, it cocks all of the time. It's really cool.

What, D20? Can I use one twist on this? I know I've been using a lot. The number is in inside each one of the three. It'll be like, here it's tilted again. It's like literally. Okay.

Okay. Sorry. That's okay. Okay. Do you do perception. And I take the crocodile's perception, right? Druids. I don't take one.

Yeah. Yeah. You might have like beast perception, though. Perception is... 11. I would say you're not able to perceive where he went, but that he has not disappeared by magical means, that he is clearly still swimming somewhere in the water.

Oh. Oh. You make a bottle of water. Or a bottle of water. Rabbit in it? Rabbit in it. I fucking have this prepared.

I am going to start to shift back as the glow of my crockles form will just shrink back. And I am going to pull out my ocarina, and despite being underwater, it'll still glow and play, even though the sound is muted. as I'm going to cast locate object.

One option. And I am going to describe or name an object that is familiar to you an obnoxiously long blue scarf. Well played. And I would like to sense the direction of that object's location as long as within 1,000 feet of me. You are able to sense the scarf.

It extends for 15 feet under the docks. Do I... So I'm going to... to get a sense of that, so that is an action, and I'm going to use my bonus action. I want to make sure that this is actually a bonus action. It is not. So I am just going to try to swim up to and try to perceive him. And that's it. I will say you can perceive the scarf. You're able to perceive the scarf. It is very clear that he is somewhere under the docks beneath your front. I will swim to the surface and say,

He said it to the dogs! You're dead of the dog! Stupid! Keelemy! Are you still a crock at that point? No, no, no, I've dropped it. Oh, no. What's that, boy?

What's that, boy? Uh, and actually, I should actually have enough swim to... I have just enough to make it onto the dock. I do not think so. Okay. Because you will have to, you would have to climb five feet up into the boat. Okay, yeah. And then another five feet.

So I'm hanging on the side of this. Like, I'm like, holding onto the scaf, like, slag. laughing around. It's like really echoy. Like, you know, it's like in between the skiff and like the the pylings. Yeah, I would say with doing all of that, you'd be able to make it up into the skiff. But that would be the furthest you can make it. Ah! Twig. It's Twig's turn. Um, twig is barely holding on to consciousness.

Not understanding how invisibility works. I'm a good adventurer. I will not have my friends be harmed. And she'll reach her hand out and fire another Eldridge blast at the remaining Heron Garn. Another crotch.

And she does hit. More like Geneva's suggestion. Her today and gone tomorrow. Oh, I like it. Yeah, no, she kills him. Oh, Gideon, I like her style. In the first of swampy gas and fog, this other hair and gone is completely obliterated

by the blast of Fay magic. No more lair hairs? No more lair hairs. We've done more work than all of us combined. Hot dang, Gideon, instead of twig, they out of color tree trunk. It is the lair action, but they're gone. Timber.

That is awesome. You can't follow me. That is her turn. It's going. I have two questions. One, if I don't have a swim speed, can I not swim? You can swim. You can swim, which is just difficult to.

Okay. I have advantage on wisdom's survival checks to track Fay. May I use a bonus action to attempt to track this? Yeah. This, okay. Now that's how you prepare for witch play. It's just advantage on... You're gonna fucking Spider-Man underneath the...

Yeah. Oh, so, so, oh. 16 plus 6 is 22 survival. You hone in your senses as you're leaning over the edge of the dock. You are not fussed by Grico as he is splashing and making his way out of the water. You have caught the scent of Agden specifically. The scent that lingers on the scarf and on his fur, the scent that is solely unique to him.

and even though the fetid swamp water is bubbling beneath the dock, you can still sense that scent. And you see a flash of blue as you look. Bits of the tattered scarf floating towards the surface and rippling on the waves. And as you follow the line of it, you see a flash of just the tip of one of his, long ears, directly beneath Hootsie and Twig. Oh, come in Agden.

And you will see Torbeck go underwater, and you will hear the underneath the dock as he's using his claws to climb along upside down. We see the like tendrils spike up through the board? And as soon as I'm close enough. As you crawl through, there's one area where the wood has splintered away.

And you see Torbeck's twisted face, his magenta eyes look up through the hole in the wood directly at you as he smiles and his horrific fangs are bared as in a quick flash. He skitters away and positions himself directly above where Agden is beneath the waves. I attempt to rip on the shreds. Oh, that's a 20 to hit. That hits. Oh, okay. His AC is 19.

As like his storming just goes right past. right there. I was like, oh, hey, Tobik, do something with your hair. I'm re-roding the one because a great weapon master. Five, six is 11. 13 total damage, two of it is poison. How would you like to do this? Oh! Violently. I mean, I just absolutely, this being absolutely just shreds him to pieces.

Blood, red will come to the surface as and then maybe his scarf after all. scarf after all set of dog. You use your dexterous feet to anchor yourself to the underside of this dock as you reach into the water and begin to rip flesh from flesh and from bone, tearing Agden, the brigand prince of Prismere, into absolute smithereens. His blood is coating the underside of the dock. Those of you that are watching, you see as bits and pieces of him and his,

scarf are thrown this way in that until as one of you looks over in sheer horrified curiosity, you see that Agden is in hundreds of pieces floating on the surface of the water. Torbeck is hanging there, his chest heaving, the magenta light pulsing in his eyes as the contraption on his back is pumping pure liquid witchlight into his body. He's completely covered and matted in blood, gore, and viscera as he smiles down at his prey. And in his hand is what remains of the long blue scarf. I would say immediately then after you see this and the apparent threat to Torbeck is eliminated, he would, the light would fade from his eyes and he would fall unconscious.

You watch as the light fades from his eyes, that magenta light pulses once, twice, three times, and then his eyes go back to their normal, dark, murky color, and his hold on the dock fails. As with a loud splash, Torbeck falls into the water unconscious. Not zero-headpoints, just unconscious. Yeah. If we're looking through a hole in the dock where we could see him, I would die of through it into the water. It's a small hole.

It was just big enough that you could see his horrific faces he skittered along the underside. I'll punch it bigger. I punch it bigger. Easily punch it bigger. You could jump over the side where he was hanging. That would not be in Gideon style. You could easily do that. The scarf that was still in his hand

is floating at the top of the water and you're easily able to pinpoint his location and gain hold. The scarf, Gideon. Bring the scarf quickly. Who is that? What? I don't know if you fell it for years. This is the first time we've done this?

How'd you get this over? How'd you get out here? I thought I told you never to call me at home. Hey, can you hear what I'm thinking? As if you can, I'm sorry. What? Frost's so shocked He doesn't seem to go

Again, I've done this thousands of times It's just always surprising, man I'm just kidding I know it's disorienting to you When I don't know who you are Didn't I tell you to take me on those lists Sweet Taylor

Get the scarf Oh my God Hey don't worry Just our new comrades Drown and terrible times Grab them all But get the scarf Quickly

Yeah I'll grab his clothes Don't worry Come on Yeah, I'd try to get Torbeck If he's like passed out Get him in one arm Find the scarf And I'm like,

Tand the severed head And I'm like, I would say there is no severed head left I thought of been a year If I get one ear If I could find like an ear in his scarf He's mostly some Yeah, if he's just like

Turned on the blender And just went Yeah I would say you were able to find an ear Okay Your scarf Torbeck, and I try and work my way back onto the dock. You have enough time to do that. You're not in any rush at this point.

Oh. It is, everything has quieted around you. And as Gideon is rescuing Torbeck from, rescuing Torbeck from his potential drowning, as he is now unconscious in the water. The rest of you have a moment to look about, and you see that all of the Heronon that had been watching, not a single one remains at the precipice of the step.

It is near complete silence. You can hear the occasional splash of creatures jumping into or climbing out of the water, small creatures, nothing more than amphibians, insects, and the like, as fireflies and dragonflies buzz around you. Trees creak as they sway in the breeze. But for all intents and purposes, you were alone. Are we out of combat now? Yes.

Get the fuck up here, please. I'll scramble up onto the ship. Oh, there's this part of the blood chunks. We need to help, alright? Where's she? Where's she?

Oh, no. No, she's visible. She casts spells. Oh, who she looks so nice? Like you're protecting some sort of invisible imaginary friend. She's got a huge chunk

bit out of her side. Her beak is covered in blood. Oh, no, that's fine. That's fine. But do, do, do, do. I mean, bananas are just more.

efficient. Here, you see another banana. I'm sorry. You get used to it. You get used to it. She wakes up. Her eyes flutter open. She is very confused at first, but you help her to eat the first banana. And she slowly begin to see her cheeks filling out. Her skin is no longer sallow. She's no longer sweating profusely. Her chest slows. to a normal rate as she regains enough hit points to be away from death store. And then she begins to sit up and she reaches into her acorn and she starts to pull out some flour and some little candied chips and a bowl. And she starts to make banana bread.

Oh. She got to love twig, man. This is so delicious. Now that I feel better, I'm thinking, we gotta have something for breakfast, you know? Because do we even sleep? I don't know. Oh, my God, I can't block something. Oh, wow.

That's a lot of blood in the water. He said, oh, wow, that's a nose. I'm gonna, and she starts to move towards the middle of the dock. Triggi did very well. I'm going to sit here and not look over the side anymore and pretend like that's not happening. Yeah, you exploded a couple skulls. I just, I don't know what to tell you. I just felt, I felt this like, I have to protect my friend.

If they were to wake up, what if they were to kill you? And I was dead, and I couldn't help you. Who's going to go back to that horrible, horrible chick from school? I can't even remember a name. Briar, that awful Breyer girl. No problem. Giggle the drink is the best of ever. Giggle wing, I believe it was.

Giggle wing, God, I hate her. You did very well. That's part being an adventure. Is this? I'm hot. I feel I think 8, 10 bananas,

you, can it heal up to 20? I guess I'm casting two good berries. So. That's great berries. Yeah. I mean, it's very efficient with my precious,

precious D&D resources. I don't feel, I feel pretty good. Tobit, are you okay? Oh, hey. Did the parsley work? No. No. No.

Do you guys see that? I'm like tiptoe. Oh, Uncle Torbeck's not feeling very well. See, let's just back away over here. Okay, use your pad. Use your fly pad over here. What's the last thing you remember, Torbeck? Dormick saw the long scarf guy with the brand and then nothing.

No. No, go ahead. You don't remember putting them in a blender? Putting him in a wide. Getting them all cut up, man. We're getting them all cut up, man. Repeat after me, Tollbeck. I.

Torbeck. Yeah, man. This is just... I think just get him to say Torbeck is. Wait, why? What are you talking about? When he spoke? What?

He said I. There is. Wait, no, that was that... That was that flexing rabbit folk that had a deep... I heard him from, like, the dock of the water below. Was that wasn't a rabbit? No, that was Torbeck. You mean to go with the word accent?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Torbeck, you talk like that? What do you mean? Sometimes Torbeck hears voices, but Torbeck has Torbeck's voice. Well, that's a good point. I mean, he actually shouted out, you think I'm Torback, question mark? Oh, Torback thinks he's Torback, yes.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, he said, ah, do you need Benanyas, Torback? Tormac could use some alcohol. Oh, we got that. Take a swing of this. Oh, I hand over my flags. Thank you, Gideon. On a scale of one to ten, how badly do your bones hurt?

Well, do you mean more than usual or about the same? I just mean like your tibia and your fibia and all the other ibias that are related to, you know, your arms and legs and I mean, everything else about you. They're about doubled in length and there was a horrible cracking sound. Oh, yeah. Dormac's a little sore and Dormac's head kind of hurts, but nothing that booze can't fix. Yeah, I made that argument before. Yeah, my head kind of hurts too. And you look over and you see sitting on the edge of the dock is a scarecrow.

But where its head should be is a gourd. Ever since my actual head was taken by these hair and gone, it's really hurt in here. And as this entity shakes its head, you hear rattling. The sound of something inside slamming up against the edges of the gourd. But to be fair, it all kind of hurt since my soul was put in this place anyway. I mean, Gahena wasn't great and all, but it wasn't a bad place for a kid to be, you know? And that's where we'll end the second. Whoa!

Oh, my God. You know. Anya! You could have given me like 50 guesses, 100 guesses when you're like, oh, what's going to be become of this egg and long scarf guy when he first heard of like these peltky rabbits? I'm like, you know, getting maize hues wasn't what I was expecting. You know, that was like the last. Like, you know, I don't think I would have guessed. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventry's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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