Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 23 | Stumped

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

The aftermath at the Brigand's Tollway reveals their path forward...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/_ufnx2Jd0Hg?si=v4llKL6roXN9eANX

Oh, hello, everyone. Welcome to Legends of Aventress. My name is Grickle Grim Grim, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. The hut clearly held aloft in the fog. Is Bavornis Cottage? The only way to get there is through Briggins Tolley. This is as far as I can get you.

Is anyone else worried about the fact that it's, like, completely silent here? Could maybe we use someone as bane? You've baited before like a lot. Tormack's been known to bait here and there. Well, shit, there's only one way forward. Let's just get on the dock and start walking. We have to actually approach this possible ambush. As you become aware that somewhere along the way,

a hunched hooded figure has joined the group. You have been being watched by none other, the Nagdon Longscarf, the Brigand Prince of Prismere. They're at least 50, if not more. if not more, Heron Gond, staring down at you. To give me what you've got until I'm satisfied. Agden Longscarf and his four companions, for that's all I need.

Oh. We'll challenge all of you. Fair fun. Including the little one. Oh, it feels so good to be free. There is something about you, Torbeck, that absolutely terrifies him. Agden is in hundreds of pieces floating on the surface of the water. Um, it is, everything has quieted around you.

That's a lot of blood in the water. Um, he said, oh, wow, that's a nose. Um, I'm gonna... Um, sure, Meg. The sitting on the edge of the dock is a scarecrow? Ever since my actual head was taken by these hair and gone, it's really hurt in here. Last time on, you all killed somebody. Okay, so you are now sitting on the dock. That was the full last time on. You were sitting on the dock.

Tellamy Hill has long since faded into the distance. With the swirling fog around you, you imagine occasionally you see glimpses of the top of the hill peeking out over the fog, but it's only for seconds. He's clearly made his way to safety with jingle-jangle and toe. As you sit on this docks, you notice that all is quiet after the defeat of the Brighan Prince of Prismere, Agden Longscarf. All of the herring gone that had been perched atop the stump have seemingly disappeared. And it is quiet around you.

except for the sound of a faint plopping noise, one after another. Your attention is drawn to the farther end of the pier, where you see a strange creature, a scarecrow, dressed in burlap with two crab pincers for hands, and atop its head where a head should be, or in the case of a scarecrow, where a burlap sack should be, is an old and twisted gourd replacing its head. And as it reaches down, it picks up with its pincer claw as a rock and tosses it into the water, making the soft plopping sound. And as you notice it, it turns to you and begins to speak,

letting you know that it is Clapperclaw. And they are the child soul ripped from Gehenna and placed in this body by one of the hags. Seems happy for all things considered. It kicks its legs back and forth and enjoys the soft breeze. The scarecrow seems interested in you, but not completely engrossed, occasionally mumbling to itself and for all intents and purpose is not trying to hold down a conversation with. you have a question or yeah uh does frost know what gahena is uh roll a religion yeah let's

say religion check i guess history would work too i'll let you choose i prefer history go for it of course you would not that i'm trying to optimize but and the flood of 83 gerald was born you're thinking of the the war of 82 and then for for the sake of making it easy for you, that is an image of clapper. Oh my god. Wait, is the whole big thing is it or is the little small thing on? The whole big thing is its head. Oh, wow.

It's a two-tiered gourd. It's got like a crab claw. Oh, I prefer religion for some reason. Interesting. That'll be a natural one. You guys think I should twist this. No, I'll pick it. Let's go with an eight. You imagine the word sounds familiar.

you know you've heard of it before what it is where it's from any specifics about it, you have no idea but you've definitely heard the name. Hey kid. Oh, are you talking to me? Yeah, is your name? We were told the name,

Clapper Claw by... I believe so. Yes, you are. You have heard the name, Jingle Jingle told you of Clapper Claw. Yeah, that's right. Is your name Clapper Claw by chance?

How did you know my name? Am I getting like super? famous. Well, no, we heard all about you. We know that you're... So I am getting super famous? I mean, you know, your name precedes you. So yeah, I guess you're kind of off. For what did I do to get famous, do you think? Well, we heard that you're the only one that can... Is it because Egnon Longscarf stole my head and is now holding it hostage? I have to

wear this gourd where my head had been? Oh, he's the one who stole your head? Yeah, that's why I'm here. I snuck away from downfall in the hopes that I would be able to get my head back. Well, our best friend Torbeck took care of that fella. You're not going to have to worry about him no more. Yeah, we'd offer you his head, but it's kind of really more just like bone chips and blood. I do like bone chips and blood.

But I would really prefer to have my head back, but the thing is, I can't climb up to the top of this stump to get it. Oh, so... So, A, it's good that he's dead, though, right? We did the right thing, huh? Well, because I've been dead before, I, like, am not so worried about people dying and stuff. Like, it's going to happen eventually, you know. What we did was, that was, I justified, right, fellas? I mean, it was pretty brutal, but, you know.

He's still a lot of things from a lot of people. Oh, would she keep playing on your fly pad? Oh, that's rabbit soup. Torbeck still isn't really sure that Torbeck did this. Oh, it's definitely you, man. You should take this, by the way. I think you're now the brigand prince. I toss him the scarf.

No, Tupik doesn't want this. I think it's kind of like a keep-what-you-kill kind of situation. I think it's just like whether you want it or not, you wear the crown. Yeah, it must almost always be a smavey-smones, you know? It's completely soaked through with what I hope is swamp water. Oh, yeah, no, he was in, I'll chase him down there as a crocklesque. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, or I guess I'm,

I dragged him into the depths very grossly. And gave you, I really all right out you to that. Scene of blood and, was it bone chips and blood, you said, Gideon? Bone chips and blood. You know, actually. About all that's left. In his ear. Strangely, that was the name of my band when I was in Goblin College.

It was bone chips and blood. I was going through a bit of a phase. Were you kind of one of those like experimental? Oh, God. Yeah, I know. Oh, why did I admit that? Anyway, Toolback,

I think you, I think, Gideon is right I think you all to briggin' prints now. Oh, guys, really, this was some sort of horrible accident.

Uh, that's a good question. How, how, and what, why, who, whom,

gone on, whom, Ziva, uh-huh, and bees. Don't sir all of seven, please. Torbeck doesn't know. Hmm.

Look, I mean, from based on what we saw, we can gather that, you know, you sniff danger and those clungers just, you know, they did the thing, and the tubes were going, and your blood was sort of mixing with the goop, and you transformed again. It was quite as spooky as the first time, I'll admit. I mean, you would, like, still half the size thing for guys, but you were still a big fucker, and you, I mean, the bones break in and I mean, you literally, your hands turn into, you know, like

a fucking meat ground, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, and, you know, I'm very used to changing form, but it's more of like a mystical woodland spirit, as opposed of like, breaking sinews and stretching, Ligaments. I'm really familiar with stretching ligaments,

because sometimes when I buggard out, I just give really big, you know? Although I guess it's mostly, it's mostly like, not even really me, you know? It's like a lot of shadowy stuff. You're more familiar with it, I think. I mean, I sort of understand the feeling.

But I think what that means is we're a lot more similar than we thought, you know? Also, my glass is cracked. See? And there's a huge crack in her glasses that make it look like in one space or there are three different eyes there. This probably looks horrific.

Yes, would you like me to repair that? No. I'm going to sell fear in the hearts of many. Twig, you had a rough couple of minutes. Here you go. Just one more. Just get one more down for me. Look at this little tiny, Banana. Well, yeah, it's a bonagna.

It's a little mini fella. There we go. Okay. Oh, I squeezed it too hard, and it splushed all over my face. That's what it's supposed to do. It's medicinal. That's the good stuff. It's in my nose.

Oh, yeah. There used to be, when I first started, when I first learned that spell, they were like, ooh, plantain sized. So I've been working on getting them smaller and smaller to make it more palatable in action-packed situations. Crinky, Kirkow. Are you sure you don't want me to repair your glasses? You need them to see.

Yeah, prescription. I just wear them because I'm cute. Oh, okay, then that's fine. How many fingers am I holding up? Seven. Oh, okay. And see, watch, do it again. Seven.

Frosty's very good at repairing things. You should give him a good, let them show you his stuff. You remember when I repaired one of the trinkets in your home? before we destroyed it. Yeah, I do. That's when I knew we were going to be the best of friends forever.

That was right after... No, that was before it was all broken by Grico. Yes. Was it all me? Yeah. Yeah, it was all you.

Yes, you... Clean the place up, fix it up. You zugged all over. Yeah. Oh, here when that happens. Torbeck, the deduction that we're making is that when you're under the influence

of this material in your back chambers, this witchlight, that you don't know what you're doing. You become another person entirely. Someone, some personality seems to dwell within you, waiting to rise up to the surface as soon as you are transformed. Yeah, I can relate to that a lot, because I have my buggered in me all the time trying to come out. Oh, Frost. Does Frost mean the other voice? you can hear this other

Do you have a Conversations with this stranger in your mind? Oh no Torbeck just drinks a lot And that usually keeps them at bay Are you being honest with me? Yes Why would Torbeck lie?

To hide the fact that you're having conversations With some sort of sinister other Well I think what he's saying is that He does have conversations with this sinister other But he drinks to make him go away conversation is very one-sided look we're not going to get the bottom of the staty no I agree and I mean should we be concerned about the like 50 rabbits that were on top of that

stump um aiming bows and arrows out of dobeck is now the king or prince by right of conquest or whatever like put the thing on oh Torbeck's always wanted to be royalty you know like I'll start to put the scarf on makes this horrible like squelching wet noise against my fur and there's like, you know, I'm like holding, the Torrmax holding back tears as he puts on the blood-stained scarf. Oh, oh.

It looks so nice. Yeah, you look beautiful. And with minor illusion, I'll make my voice boom out. Look at that. It's a Tollbeck-Long scarf, rigging prince of prismere. That's a handsome scarf you got there. Hey.

Hey. Oh, ask about the SAC. The Sack with all of our souls, what they took. We're not going to jump right to that. Let's try to see what we can do, getting up there. And as you say all this, you still have the spell active as your voice booms out over the... What the fuck was out of you? Oh, shit.

Mute. Fucking idiots. You wait and listen. You hear your voice echo out over the swamp. But you do not hear any response. There is no clapping in response. You do not see any heads peek out over the top of the ridge of the stump. It is quiet. All right. Either they're gone or the waiting for some kind of ambush. I'm not sure which I'd prefer, to be honest. Gone means the lack of danger,

also the lack of knowledge that they have about the stump and the rest of the city. If they were to swear allegiance to Torbeck, we would learn much. Well, I mean, we should definitely keep it as a plan. But, I mean, either way, we got to get up in that stump. We got to get this fellow's head back, and we've got to find that F-Sack. Exactly right. I'll say we just head on in. I mean, even if there are 50 rabbits in there, I mean, Twiggis is going to kill like half of them in an instance.

See what she did back there? Yeah, it's... I almost did be a Clapper Claw. Yeah, I mean, I hate to say it, but I'm a hardened killer now. Yeah, I'll make that. Someone's going to have to hold me back, and pig tunia is indisposed. Wait a minute. I'll point to the boat with the war-crime, annihilated rabbits.

That was put to sleep first. That was... That was... That was... No, no, all I did was hit Twigs, Twigsy, what's the name Twigzy? My name's Twigzy. I mean, Twigsy because she's cute, you know, so yeah, Twigs. I had Twigsy in the face with the horrible necrotic spell,

and that's been the rest of the combat trying to keep her alive. Yeah, see? Look at my glasses. It's broken. I kept trying to punch the rabbits and missing everybody. So, I mean, she did almost all. I think she hit the numerical value that considers her godlike. I had to help my friends, because otherwise, you were all going to die.

I had her in my arms and she's like, I'm dying of theonism. And then she like lifted her arm up, like, glue their fucking hands off. It wasn't her, their head. Well, it was kind of their heads that she blew off. Anyway, Bricka, you missed it, but their crotch is exploded. Here's your fly paddock. Here's another. Each other flies.

Oh, you reach my back, just throw a handful of flies on the lily bed. She kept calmly raising her arm and saying, this is my final act and then would kill her rabbit. This is my final act and then kill another. She did that like 18 times. Guys, we may be turning down a dark path in this adventure. But you know what? I guess it's what we've got to do.

One question I have, Torbeck. Did your back characters refill? I try to look up and see if the back canisters have refilled. I don't know how obvious it is. You look at them and you see bits of bubbling as clearly the liquid is slowly rising up. When you ask this question and try to walk,

Torbeck tries to look at his own back and be his walking in circles. No, this whole, someone told, go take a look. I'll go over and expect him. And you see that. Yeah. Yeah.

I see that it's rising. Well, what is this mean? What is this mean? How is that? impossible where's it coming from i don't know i mean it's got to be magically regenerating himself i think the bigger question is what the hell is its trigger mechanism i'd say it's tied to some kind of biological component in his body that triggers upon fear but he's basically always afraid so you think you always be sure do you think maybe it's a word someone said a word oh oh you think it could be

initiative oh that's the best joke in the night that's the best joke in the night easily easily that's a Derek turned. That's like that fake. That was a winner. Sean, you're the intelligent and smart. Torbeck has to kill the Prime Minister of Mory. That Torbeck, he's so hot right now.

Torbeck is the original Daryl League. It works on so many levels. If we don't get some Zoolander, Torbeck, Nashville. We riot. We riot. We need that whole scene animated between Torback and evil Torback.

You could be Derek Zoolander and then Gideon could easily be on. I'm not your bro. The second personality speaks in the back of your head and you're just like, God. The files are in the pha engineering. Come on, Torbake, let's go get some orange Moka Campitino. And that's when Grico Frost and Kermudina free gasoline. All right, so the rest of the session is a few later.

We're just having a sexy gasoline fight, and then someone lit it on fire. How are we to know? No, gentlemen, my top hypothesis is that he has the same amount of which light in it. And that, perhaps it's not a word, but the adrenaline of combat, that the wishlight seeks out or perhaps triggers the plungers as they go. And what's in him is slowly sapping back into the canisters. Oh. I mean, that feels a little too logical for the Faywild.

I mean, I just feel like it's magic. And we don't got to explain shit. It just happens. The serum, whatever this liquid is may be, Faye, but the devices are clearly some sort of machine, a device that's trying to control that. I've seen a lot of kids engineer, and there's nothing like that. Well, I mean, I've been trying to figure out this Faye engineering, but I'm only 20 pages in so far, and it's only been a children's fantasy tale about the power of friendship. So I haven't gotten to the piece to talk about bioengineering yet. I'm hoping that's like page 21.

Oh, it's a young adult novel. Geez, yeah. I mean, I suppose I could skip all a bit, but what if it ends up being important in the end? Oh, it's like the main character, a heroine, who's very plain yet beautiful. Yes. Our parents, both dead. Does she have a bow and arrow? She's extremely clumsy, but she's also a stealthy killer.

Ah, okay. Oh, she's probably got two different colored eyes. Well, actually, her father's dead. her mother went missing at a young age for a unknown reason. Oh, so she thinks that the mother's dead and then suddenly the mother will come back only to die a book later.

Hey, it's spoilers, man. I don't have a fay engineering, too, for dummies yet. Normally, the mom comes back and it's some kind of princess of like a fairy kingdom or something, and she finds out she's not fully human. She's a half-elf, actually, and that's where her ears are kind of pointy. I don't know if she's coming back, though, because I mean,

I don't see how she can come back in the story, there's a character that's got a mask on and has kind of the same ears and it's about the right height, but I don't think that's her. You're right, that's ridiculous. It just wouldn't fit at all. We didn't say anything. He used to sit some of a child.

I mean, come on. You know, she's dead. And the mask is probably just a coincidence. No, I mean, you know, you never have a mask a character. That's their whole thing. You know, they're all about the mask. Anyway, let's continue. Okay.

Mr. Crabcloth. fella, clap-a-claw. Clapper claw. Would you like to join us at the top of the stump? Unfortunately, I cannot get to the top of the stump. Well, what if we'd like carry you up to the top of the stump? Yes, we can escort you, we can help. I was told I wasn't allowed to go up there, so that means I can't go up there. Who told you that? One of the bullywugs in Downfall.

Well, I mean, how are they gonna know? You won't tell them if you don't. So, you mean you can just... Do the opposite of what you say are going to do? Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yeah, we do that all the time. Some horrible curse at a carnival where you can't do that. Are you saying... That's a living hell, let me tell you.

Are you saying that you promised that you wouldn't go to the top of the stump? I was told, like, oh, you know, this guy has your head, and you are not allowed to go get it. So you can't go to the top of the stump. And I said, okay, I won't go to the top of the stump. I will go stand at the bottom of it. Does anybody have got a copy of those three things? I was just thinking of those. No, I think what's more important is whether or not the promise may have some negative effect.

Perhaps going up there would break her word. And it may not be anything to do with the lines. But who are they to say? I mean, he's the prince. Like, he owns the whole stump now. What if he just invites her in, you know? And it kind of overrots the, or, you know, yeah, overrots the, like, hey, you can't go up there. He's like, hey, come on in, you know.

I like friends. Plus, there's a difference between promising not to do something and someone telling you you can't. For example, Mr. Krami used to tell Torbeck to climb up the Ferris wheel, but don't fall off and Torbeck regularly fell off. No promises, Mr. Krami. But the reason I kept you around is you survived, most didn't. In fact, no one else did it.

Yeah, no, I guess you're right. Not a single other of those three dozen fellas survive. We call that the 35. I kept raising to pay by a whole copper piece every time one died. We can never attract the right town. Is that why those pigs that we kept around were always so well-fed? My albeit limited understanding of the rules of this place, the Faywild and you may understand better than me depending on how long you've been here,

but my limited understanding is that there's a rule of hospitality, of ownership, and of reciprocity. However, at the top of this stump are not items that were owned by the people who told you you couldn't go up there. They were themselves stolen. And so I think that you've ever right to go and return what you rightfully own to your head. I would really like to have my head back if there's the way to get it. join us. I remember this. If you feel weird about going up there, then why don't we just get it?

We'll go, yeah. We'll go fetch it for. What does it look like? So it's really cool. It has antlers on it. It is, I'm not sure if it's a goat or a donkey. The donkeys have antlers. Okay.

No other goats, no don't. It is some kind of creature that has antlers on it. Ghosts kind of have antlers, don't they have the... No, it's horns, crumbling. have horns. It is definitely an course. So I would like to have it back.

Would you like to join us? Or are you safe here? It is a stag. That's what I was drawing. Does it look like this? I'm going to do like as a hyper-realistic. A beautiful nature drawing of a staghead. That's something you find it in.

Yeah, to the best of my ability. If I can. No, not really. The cheekbones are a little too high, and I would shorten at least a few of the antlers. You might have gotten a little too realistic. Can I draw on this? I'll kill you. Okay. So then I'm going to go back, and then I'm going to go back into it, into the book, and I'm going to draw this. I will watch what you're drawing. He could have drawn it with us.

This is definitely the Andy school. You're doing it well. Yeah, that's what the dogs like. Let's get it. Okay. Okay. Now we know. That sounds like a lead toormack.

You certainly look very smiley and smirky, confident. I was a lot more happy when they had. with my answer. That's so good. Okay. I propose that Clavre Glan join us. I have many questions about this is a place that you're from Gahena. A few long-

I don't have many answers about it, honestly. All I can remember is there were a couple of other kids there. None of us really know where our souls came from before they went to Gahanna, but we know that they were there because of somebody who wanted them to be there. The only things I remember before Gahena were a huge moon And that's about it Oh, huge moon And then you found yourself in Gahanna

And you knew that you weren't going to be up Okay That sounds That sounds suspicious Okay, I'm going to write moon Yep, that was it Please join My name is Morning Frost

This is twig. Oh, Grico. This is Grickett. I gestured to Twig. Yeah, but I'm here too, Grico, just because I'm shorter than you, and I don't do with this. I didn't know you were standing back there.

What are you talking about? I've been breathing in your armpit this whole time. Are you hungry? Are you hungry, Clipoclo? Yeah, really? Oh. Oh, I got a couple left over. He's another one.

She squirts it all over her face again. Yeah, it's like a little... Damn it, I can never get that bright. Clipa, I don't know if you can eat in your curran's not. I mean, he's got big old crab claws. Well, no, and I don't need to eat because I'm literally just a soul trapped inside of this body that was given to me by a hag. So what's the deal with the crab claws anyway? It's just the thing she had in her house that she puts together to create the body for me.

Kind of like a mixing match for the view. Hey, why were you in downfall earlier? I was sitting on the dock trying to figure out where my head was. Oh, well, that's good. And that's when the bullywugs told me, oh, it's the... the prince of Prismere who has your head. It was given to him by the hag that's here. Because the hag that made me isn't the hag that was here,

but the hag that is here is the one that gave my head to the brigand prince of Prismar, so I came here to try and get my head back. Wait. Who's the hag what made you? Yes, this was going to be my question. Granny Nightshade is the one that made me. Not shade.

That's none of them that I know. That's not Skebatha, which is the one that's here. That's one of the other ones, right? Wait, is it not? Grant Nottage first name, Scabafa. We need to get one of those cork boards so that we can lay. I mean, you can say in Scabify.

Wait, hold on. I'll be sober. Are you thinking that, are you thinking that Skabatha is the one that is here because she's not? No, she's not the one here. The one that's here is Blavona Blotstra. Bovlona Brotstraw. Then there's an end of the moon grave.

So that means the only one left is scabifah Narche. Oh, wait, Nautshay. Oh, it's scabifor something. Is it Nautshade? Let me check my notes. Why is this head giving out your head? Is it some kind of powerful object? And, wait, it's not even Scabatha that's here.

It's about Lorna Blaine's door that's here. That's what I'm saying. I'm asking, who made you, though? Who made your head and clothes? I just told you, Granny Nightshed. Grand Natch Shade. I'm just saying, what's your first name? Oh, I just wrote down Blavona.

up. And that's all I got. Torbeck also rode down Babylon, I was caught in. Just a moment. Trust, are you very small with not memorizing abilities? Oh, I found this picture of a rainier or something.

Oh, that is, kid. Oh, yeah, that's kind of a charm, isn't he? Yeah, it's pretty good. I like his little smile, you know? Yeah, kind of a little right-angle smile going on. Hey, guys, while Frost is thinking, Torbeck was also thinking, and Torbac is revealing the rules that you all taught Torbac about Prismere. Yeah, these ones.

Where does unlawful murder fall under acquisition of things that aren't yours? To be fair, the more that we learn about this Agden guy, he was kind of a dick. I can answer that question for you. The moment someone is dead, they're proper. ceases to belong to anyone unless there is an ex-of-kin who has claimed to that property and in this case there is no one here to claim it so should you want to claim said scarf said scarf now is belonging to Torbeck well Torbeck doesn't want to but and you know what that means I mean Torbick kind of wants to but you know what that means what I have two skiffs This skiff and this skiff twig. Well then this... If anyone can test my claim to skiff one and skiff two, speak now or forever hold your peace.

This scarf that is soaked in the blood of Torbeck's enemies now belongs to Torbeck. If anyone wants to claim it, speak now or forever hold your peace. Please don't speak. speak Torbeck doesn't like confrontation. Ah. Nobody said anything, so it's yours now. I think we're in the clear twig. Yep, I own a skip.

I own a skip. One skip, two skip. I own a skip. You own a bloody scarf. It's gross. It looks cute on you because you're all so gross. Oh, that's not very gross. Yeah, left-handed comfortable, man.

But Torbeck will take it. Well, you know, okay, Twig, the next step of all journey, now that you have two skiffs, is to make sure A, that these skiffs stay where they are, and B, we need to make sure that they are sturdy for when we, while we are investigating the big old stump. Okay. Well, if Clevergagall doesn't want to go up on the stump, then maybe they can watch the skiffs. You're coming with us? want to.

All right. Because I'm on an adventure, you know, and what if there's something else that needs taking care of? And she winks with the eye that's behind the broken glass. You see three eyes wink at once. You know what, Twig?

I'll find you very charming and hope you're not a horrible hag in disguise. I'm not. I can be sure of it. And she winks with her three eyes. Ah, yeah. Torbett. X convinced.

Yeah, me too. Me too. Okay, Clapperclaw, would you mind taking a look at, taking a look after these two skiffs while we investigate the big old stump? Sorry,

when did you ask my brain this malfunction? If clapper claw would be fine staying behind to look after the skiffs while we go, investigate the stump. That would probably be the best choice, because to be honest, I should not be going up there.

I told someone I wasn't going to. well, then just stay right here and we'll bring your head right back. But you're promising that you're going to bring my head back for me? I certainly will. Well, if we can find it, you know. Well, I will think of something I can do for you unless the... So I just watch these gifts, you bring my head back, and that's just it? Well, well, no, I mean, if we bring the head back, the skiff thing is really for twig.

There is a favor we might ask you, though, if you're looking for ideas. Well, what is your favorite that you would like? Well, if we bring your head back, you could take us to downfall. The big thing also that we need is to be taken after we deal with downfall to go to thither. We need passage to the other realm. You want me to go back to thither? Well, that's a lot to ask of someone that has escaped from there. Could you just take us just to the edge?

And you don't even have got to go in there. help us get to there, and then you can go, and then we just shoot out and you stay behind. You know, I don't know how to describe that in an ungross way. I'm sorry. In exchange for my head. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I think that's fair trade in exchange.

All right. Okay, so we got all plans of attack. What was the confusion about the hags? Which, Granny Knott'sade, what is her first name? We don't have a first name for Granny Nightshade. Oh shit, what's the other hag then? We've got Bavlorna Blight Straw, Scabbotha Nightshade, Endlyn Moongrave. You just said Scabatha Nightshade.

And we've got, and then we've got Granny Nightshade. Yeah, she's, yeah. No, I mean, no relation. I'm insane? What are the chances? There are two hats with the last name, nightshed. It's actually, listen, over here, it's actually pretty likely, man. I'm actually shocked.

There's not a granny, not a shade, nightshade. I don't have anything more written down other than that. I don't know what you guys are looking for. All right, we can move on. Oh, thank you. Are you, like, you're being really good about it, okay, thank God. It's like fucking, you were little bit of tiny tunes. It was Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny new relation.

Nightsh is the smit of that race. What actually is quitting? The hag reunions are massive. Night shape of one. Her name is my name. It's mine. All right. Yes, it was Scamatha. Let's move on.

Scamifa. Scamifa. Don't we also kill Scabatha for you. That's for your child. I'm sure she also has a grandmother. Are we climbing the stump now? Is that the next plan? I mean, there are a bunch of rope ladders hanging down for me.

It looks like it'll be pretty easy. Okay. Okay. Um, hey guys. Torbeck was hoping while we climbed the stump, you could explain a few things to Torbeck. Remember at the end of the carnival when they came to get Torbeck and everyone acted confused and you guys said,

Goodbye, Torbeck, we have a grand adventure that you can't go on. and they took Dorbeck away and then the rest is very dark and horrifying. No, I don't remember that. Well, what is the grand adventure? Why are you here? I know that we're looking for a key for a dragon and that's about it.

Oh, that's a good point. We never fooled you in on the whole thing. Where do the hags come into play? We got a lot of rope to climb. So, Snakey, while we, Adam West and Burt Ward

our way up there. Now would be a great time for us to have a non-RP check-in because I could use it for completely honest. Well, why don't we do it in kindergarten for us? We can not. All right, well, it all started

when we found a small pixie with her wings pulled off. Yeah. There's also a lady that got Merge with a horse. Yes. Oh, no, no, no. Let's start from the beginning, all right?

Yeah. So. We had horrible debt. We used to run a carnival. Oh, I was a Torbanks there for that. I keep forgetting about that. Anyway, after we willingly disbanded, we were laying low in our way, my hometown, so to speak. And I got a letter from my old associate that he was collecting royalties on all the money I've made.

for like a decade or two maybe. Anyway, horrible debt to a man you don't want to be in debt to. And then we found an old warlock named, what was his name, Rosloff?

Mr. Rosloff. Madrick Rosloff. Yeah, Mr. Rosloff. Hurry up, Brigo. Okay. Well, you guys come very quickly. I'm not used to climb me outside of spirit form. He made a mean pie, man.

Is this helping you get the story together, Derek? Or do you want to do an actual, like, out of character? No, no, no, this is actually probably going to know. I'm going to follow along in my notes. I just want to make sure. Step one is debt. So then that's the exactly right.

And by the transitive property, all of us were in debt as well. That's right. They had some life debt to me for some reason. Kremi murdered Pierre. Anyway, through the swamp. Oh, no, so Rostloff, right? His patron is this archfay names a billman.

Yes. Zabilna. It may have heard of Zabilna. And G1 has ruled all of Prismir. She did. So Prismith, where we are right now, it was her domain, right? Mm-hmm. And all, you know, he lost contact with her.

And, you know, she was basically responsible for everything that he had achieved in life. He was actually in the portrait at the end. I don't know if you recall that, but there was a beautiful archfay. That was the Billner. And you saw Twig and you saw Rosloff and maybe, and we saw the old kettle steam, you know, they were on that portrait. Anyway. He's in that kettle steam.

Oh, anyway. That's what. All right. Anyway. Just keep going. He's getting up there in years, right? And, you know, he's feeling like he's going to pass on soon. And the last wish that he has, you know, while he maintains his mortal coil is he wants to speak to Zabille and reach out and feel her presence again. And so he offered a quest to us where if we could freeze a Billner from whatever kind of, you know, trap she was in or predicament she was in, so that she could reconnect with old Roslov, then he would leave us his entire, sizable fortune.

To fix the dead! To pay back the dead. And I'm sure we would have plenty more on top that we could all split with myself getting a larger portion, of course, being the leader of this operation. I don't think we agree on that. Well, don't forget Hootzi's portion, too. Oh, Hootie, you drink a great job, remember, just right left, right left. You're doing great. So, anyway, we go through the swamp.

Right before we get to the carnival, we see it up ahead, but then we come across this pixie would have her wings cut off the body. And she was bleeding out terrible, and Ricko tried to heal her, but it wasn't closing the wounds. She didn't make it. It was almost like whatever cut. the wings was cut with some sort of magical something that wouldn't let it close up. Anyway, she died, and then we went to the carnival.

We bought tickets, and, uh, no, I guess we didn't buy tickets. We made a pact for some tickets. I purchased a ticket. Oh. For all, I don't know. Anyway, I couldn't like, you were there for that. Yeah, we ran into you. Remember guys night?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know of guys night. No, fellas, it's ironic. I mean, obviously, ironic. I mean, it's not too much ironic. I'm not saying. It was ironic. It was ironic. Oh, but, Dubek, you missed us.

We all stayed in drag, you know, because that was over. Even though it was ironic, and we did a great show. It was ironic, cricket, okay? You understand? It was ironic. You got Frosty in drag after Christ Night 2. It was ironic. While we were there, we learned that this Covenant of Hags

had taken over Prismere, and for us to help Zabiner, we got to, I guess, take care of the and that's where we're at. And we know that this fella here, clabaclaw, well, you were there for that, but he can get us at the next zone. Oh, he's way down there now.

Oh, where does the fairy dragon come into play? Oh, I don't know. He's just, he was there. The fairy dragon was here on a quest, a mission from the summer queen. She was investigating Prismia after losing contact with, Zibylna, and apparently just were on the verge of some terrible war of some kind of

I'm sure we won't get mixed up in it. But anyway, he basically wrote all of Prismia Rolf and said, it's gone. Ain't nothing of worth here besides a couple of gross eggs, you know? But anyway, we want to save him and help him because we do want a favor for the queen of all the

Faye, and maybe we can turn that favor in in the future for our benefit. Help jingle, jangle, get the keef, save the drink. in favor with the fay, kill the hangs, saves a bill and a pay off the deck. Torbeck's caught off.

Exactly. I got it. That's a pretty good. We also promised to the centaur on Cloppington. And we'll keep around as long as our quest log

doesn't feel like. If they do, I'm abandoning news. If you see an individual who looks stricken by grief, who probably was sucked into a mirror by a big lady, then make sure you save him too. Okay.

I feel like we're missing something. Well, it'll come up if it's important. Oh, I mean, I guess you got sucked to hell and experimented on for years, apparently. We don't have to talk about that. Oh, and I mean, you were also there for this mysterious strange man in tot pants in the barn owl. Oh, yeah.

We really don't have to talk about that. Yeah, and then there was that strange fellow of the big, the mustachioed fellow, who was a servant of the top pants man. With a big beard, right? A kind of dwarf-looking fellow. Oh, yeah, it was kind of dwarf-like of some variety. He was dwarf-esque.

Yeah, dwarf askew, they might say. And it's around this time that you make your way to the very top of the stump. And you begin to... You begin to pull yourself over. The fog is thick here, and I need you all to roll on the Nautilus. Oh, no. Is that a D-100? No, it's a D-20.

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a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Oh, Tormann got a 5. Crammy got a 19. Oh, Ginnion got a 14. We didn't plan.

We didn't have one cup of five. Grico got a fine. Ross? I got a six. What is? Torbeck. Oh, we have two fine. Yeah.

Gras go to. Yeah. Rorbeck re-roll yours. Okay. Oh. I'm going to leave this one for mine. Oh, okay. Torbeck got a two.

Sweet. Okay. Everyone around you looks like candy and you have a sweet tooth. I know. The moment this happens, I just turned and I start licking Rick off. Well, you're actually climbing directly behind him. So he's right to be like, I'll be climbing and I'll say, oh, get you down. You won't because. How you been doing squat? No, you won't because you can only speak in song.

Oh, get in. Have you been doing squaw? I feel it tingle in my tones. Gideon. You hear the dulcet tones of Gricko's melody as your entire mouth goes numb and you cannot stop grueling. Yeah, I have been doing squat. Gideon, stop, I'm right behind you.

You're feeling all right, Giddy? Oh, this is just unfair. I think he's having a stroke. Can someone roll a D-100 for me, please? Oh, two. Amazing. Wow. What the fuck that's me.

Two is the best fucking, it's so fucking bad. I just thought it was gonna land on one. It was like really a hand-line-on-one. To be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number. It's the number one. Cremie. Oh, no. You were overcome by psychedelic hallucinations.

Oh, fuck. Frost. Hmm. Mm-hmm. You believe you're turning into a wear person. You are not. The moon hangs high in the sky as the fog clears on this stump. You've all crested the top of it.

As you watch, as you look out and you see that this is clearly a camp, a place. You can see areas where the cooking was done for a large group of people. You see tents set up, beddings, places to work out target dummies for archery practice and in melee combat. In the very center, piled sitting at. atop a pile of thousands of trinkets, stolen items from all over hither. You see a makeshift throne, a throne for the Brighun Prince of Prismore. And as you cross the top of this stump, all of you feel that strange fay magics infiltrate your body. And you see the fog move away from the moon as it illuminates almost like a spotlight.

down on top of all of you. As Twig steps forward, I don't feel so good, Mr. Crummy. And she spins around and falls to the ground dead. Oh, no. And just as quickly as she lands, you begin to see her body change. Oh, my God.

What am I looking at? As she gets longer, and she begins to sprout feathers. Her feet, her feet become, more spindly and you see talons begin to form as her feet spread out into three bird claws. Her arms slowly flap and where her arms had been there are now wings. As a very small owl sits there in front of you as her head turns 360 degrees. I'm getting really dizzy.

Guys, I think it took a little too much of something. What happened to me? Sweet looks like a fucking owl. Is there somebody else here? What happened to me, hoot? Are you having a stroke? I don't know. Just pick up Gricko and flip you over and begin lightly gnawing on your left.

And it feels like we're just running. walking away from the ground. Oh, God, that's fucking vertigo. Oh, fuck. Gideon? Yeah. Do those chains come off?

I didn't realize what day of the year of the month. You come off. You'll need to bind me. Bind me quick. What? Ah! To beg stop.

Tew- Twig. I don't know what's happening. to you, but you have to run. Restrain Frost, Strait Bob, wait, with you carry. Make a way of saving throw. I feel it.

Twig tries to run, but she's not used to her new Erykochra legs, and she face plants. Quick, quickly, quickly, Gideon. Uh, the W. As the chains were to life, and they wrap around Frosty, assuming that you don't make a strength saving throw. Or I would want to be restrained as quickly as possible, thinking that I've endangered all of my friends

With my transformation. Steam fires out from the manacles. Oh, you're going anyway around there. Oh, like a pancake

and a hot summer Yes, yes. Torbeck, there's a reason I understand your transformation and it's because I am a wear cat. The moment you deliver this line,

you realize that Torbett has your tail and is lightly chewing on the end. Frost tastes like candy Fores. You see Twigs just flopping around as a tiny pygmy owl on the ground? Oh, my gosh.

He looks like a turkey roll. I want to come down. I want to come down. I want to come down. Twig, please just ride on hootee. Ride on hootee. But I please ride on hootie. I don't do that.

I just ask you kindly please, please this. Not you have. Oh, my God, man. You are, not you. Oh, my God. I just feel guilt for what I've done to you. Look at you. You're a fucking beast.

What? What? What? I'm doing it's glass, man. Hey, I can go on the other thing. Oh. I'm really flattered. I didn't know you got to pay attention, but.

But. Oh. It's the frown, is the frown, it's the frown, it's the frown, is the frown, is the frown, is the frown, is the frown, is the frown, is the frown. I walk up to it, and I look for the sack. A roll investigation check. What sack are you looking for? The filthy sack that stole our souls or whatever, the hag sack. They're twisting it wouldn't be a problem.

I'm gonna pick up twillist it. Does my curse only apply to people? No, I would say it applies to everything. You feel like you're on top of Candy Mountain. I would like to twist. Candy Mountain Torback. I would like to twist, and I would also like to withdraw two dreads

to purge the singer. Okay. So I'm still just taking on a dread, but I still don't do a terrible. That's clever. Thank you. I like that. While you're investigating,

I stopped chewing on Frost'sail and I walk over to Gideon. I look at your bicep and I say, Oh, candy apple. You begin to draw blood. But to you, it looks like a delicious strawberry compost. This is clearly a candy-filled candy. Oh, Tormax Lucky Day!

Oh, my God. Tollbecks and monsters, too. I'm sorry. You might have to kill everybody. You might have to kill everybody. No. Oh, fuck, why you buy me? Licking of my blood.

You look through all the trinkets and the sack that you're looking for you're unable to find. No, no. You do, however, find a couple of other things. Toad back. Toad back. Toad back.

Toad back. Can I have you rolled three times on the D-100 table? Was that? Three times D-100. Ooh. Griko, stop going from Tobeck's bag of candy. That's cocked. Three times.

We got to do this. And yes, you've purged the singing. 39. As you're looking through this, you feel your voice catching your throat. And for some unexplainable reason, the singing stops. And for my new twist curse, I got a six. I believe that the... 76.

76. You believe you are turning into a wear person. You are not. I'm like digging around. Guys, I didn't find the F-Sack. But just in this moment, I realize Frost's rod, it is the full moon. And we are an eternal war,

the wear cats and the wear rats. We're rats. We're the rats. Oh no. It must have happened when I bit him at some point. He's a wear rat. They're not a rat to fismian. I get out all four. I just start bearing around, potentially gathering around. Three trinkets fly towards you, Gideon. What numbers did you get?

39, 17, and 76. 39. You find a vial of viscous liquid labeled Femorian spit. Do not drink. Oh, symbol zero! No, the spitz are in quotes. The whole thing and I plead for my mouth. All right. We'll address that in a second. What were the other numbers?

17. 17. You also get a sheet of music that goblins find upsetting when they hear it played or sung. Sheet of music that goblins hate. eight. 76. Collection of baby teeth in a tiny wooden box.

Jesus. I am just saying, oh, I must form a defensive burrow. You're all in terrible danger. And I'm going to be digging into, I'm going to try to dig a burrow through all of the trinkets and scattering a bunch all over the place. Don't let him get away.

Brent the curse. This is a lesson, isn't it? We're all monsters on the inside. We're not that different from Torbeck. Well, monsters on the outside, man. We're just a normally monsters. No, I mean, you're literally a horrible green muscle about the kids come out of your neck, and he's a horrible wet cat, and he's a horrible wear rat, and he's Dorbeck!

It's only a matter of time. Torbeck. You hear Kremi yelling, Frost and Grico, are maddened with their imaginary transformation into wear people. Gideon's spit is flying everywhere as you're staring at this veritable smorgasbord of candy in front of you.

As you begin to crunch down on the glass and you begin to drink down this spit, which in this moment tastes very sweet and thick and syrupy to you. And then things begin to. to change as clarity, a clarity that you have never experienced before in your life overtakes you, almost as if you are given the gift of a true sight and you can see things as they are. You see a strange purple haze clouded around the heads of everyone atop this hill,

twig, frost, Kremi, Gideon. You even see the faint outlines of it around yourself as well. But more than anything, it is the presence that you feel inside of your mind.

An entity. Someone wholly different than yourself. The voice that you fear is not just a voice. And it is there knocking at the door. you are watching out from inside of your own body and though you can hear this entity this other side to yourself

this other person inside of your body you can't seem to interact with them and you hear another voice altogether we are coming for you tour back we will have you we know where you and you will not separate yourself from him not any time soon.

13, Torbeck. Keep that number at the forefront of your mind. It will be important until we meet again. And we will meet again. And just as quickly as you hear the voice, you almost like in slow motion, you begin to see everything returning to everything returning to candy, the faint knocking at the door, the metaphorical knocking at the door of this other entity inside your body completely ebbs away and his voice calling out to you to let him out, to let him overtake you, is completely wiped away. As your mind is no longer as clear as it had been, the purple hazes surrounding all of your friends fades.

and all you see is a candy gummy gator, a Gideon Pez dispenser, his head flopping around this way or that with candy shooting out of his neck. A rock in my mouth. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go and I look over the edge and I still see it like.

I threw myself on my hands and knees. I peek over the ledge again, and I just puked. Would we have enjoyed a short rest in meeting clapper claw? Yeah. And all of that. So as that happens, as I'm burrowing in, I will say, I'm to try a rat who makes all of the rules.

And I'm going to turn into a large spectral version of a rat ogre, which is like a big rat monstrosity. It's almost ape-like. And I was going to take the stats of a stench cow. So that is going to be very stinky in that pile. Another thing to add to that, you have one use

of Dimension Door. Me? Yes. That's pretty fucking good. That's the fourth level spell, folks. You're keeping track of hope. That's pretty intense. I feel like I have like

a time limit. Until it's used. Oh, okay. Candy. You're going to use it to get more candy. So as I'm digging, thinking that I'm this big rat king, wear rat king monstrosity, I'm going to be trying to basically build out a burrow in this pile of stuff and try to find things that, I guess, like as a little rodent,

like a creature would try to basically gather in things that I would find valuable. I would say roll another investigation check. Okay. I'm not trying to get a good one this time. I'm going to, I'm going to twist it. I'm going to twist it. Okay, 17. All right.

Okay. 17. I will say you, you don't find any additional trinkets, but you are able to, going through this, just with the entity that you have turned into, you have an unnatural ability to quickly scan trinkets and find anything you're looking for for the sake of

brevity. And you are able to see that there does not appear to be any stag skulls atop this mound. You are, however, able to find a bag of truffles. Stitched into the

side of the canvas bag is an embroidered name, jingle jangle, with the key hanging around the jay. it was clearly done by hand and with love it is old and well used it appears to be something that jingle jangle jangle

has made made many many moons ago and keeps with her all the time to gather up her truffles the inside of it is actually is veritably filled with the truffles that she'd been harvesting on the day similar to but very distinct from Wednesday and it seems like none of them had been eaten and it had been stolen and then just thrown atop this pile. But you do see stains from truffles past,

as well as sewn into the linings all around this canvas bag are keys of varying color, shapes, weights, sizes. I'll be digging through and I'll like, trash, trash, trash, trash. Fuck, I'm glad Agingdon is dead. Trash, class, trust, trust. And you also find a ledger, which seems to be a well-kept ledger of everything that was ever stolen and from who it was stolen from, and its current location. Trash! Do I...

Oh, a ledger with detailed records. This could be useful for Biggie Cheese. Trash, trash, trash. And that's what you find. What's everybody else? I'm in my bro now. I'd like to try and look around for any signs of the other Herringon. If I can, I like, see, just look around.

Like, obviously there were 50, presumably up on this precipice where we're at. I mean, it's very clear that there was a civilization of Herringon up here, that many families and groups of them lived up here. And you're doing this with a frost strap to you like a baby Bjorn? Oh yeah. No, it's just be getting dragged behind me. Yeah, probably on the ground. I would like you to roll a survival check and disadvantage because you are dragging Frost who is ruining any tracks or other things that you might be able to say.

That is just. We're doing everything. What are you doing, Frost? as you're being dragged behind, Kidder. I'm totally restrained. So I'm just... You can still speak.

Yeah, no, I've gone like feral dormant. And I'm just looking around with crazy eyes, looking at the moon, looking up at the back of Gideon as I'm being dragged, hoping that I don't kill my friends and feeling the rage and adrenaline hunger they're in.

I just... I'm not sure why I still look like Frost, but I'm still ready for the transformation and grateful. And you know that it should be coming. Any second now. In just a moment. Just a moment. And then that moment passed, the next moment.

Oh, yeah. And then that moment passes. I'm just at the top of the roller coaster for eternity. Stuck in paralysis. But because I'm restrained, I'm like, as soon as I finish out my burrow, given the pisser I had with Frost.

Let's finish this first and then we'll get back to that. Oh, it was a 15 and then it was a three. No. You look around and you are able to see that there are clear footsteps. And you imagine that you have the track that they took, the path they took. It's very clear. They were up here and they left and you begin to follow those tracks. And it takes you about 10 minutes before you realize you've been following your own tracks.

in a circle around the entirety of this thing over and over again, and that any tracks that would have been left at this point have now been wiped away or overstepped by your own. As you eventually make your way over to Cremie, what are you doing? I'm still on my hands and knees. I'm going to try to position myself, like, pointing away from the edge, and I'm just going to close my eyes and kind of shakily crawl on my hands and knees until I feel like I'm like at least 20 feet away.

And I'm going to take my hat off and put it over my snout and try to cover my eyes and just like wait for it to be over. I just try to wait out the bad trip. Curmey. Okay, you do that. Torbeck. I would find a good-sized rock. And it's very clearly just a giant jawbreaker.

And I go walk over to my candy throne. And I sit on it and begin to lick the jawbreaker and enjoy my new station is royalty. The proportions are from Ed, Ed, Ed, and Eddie. So you can visualize that. You are doing that as Twig is making her way over towards you, Grico. She has gotten back up onto her feet, and she is slowly getting used to being a pigmy owl.

As she creeps along, she occasionally flaps her wings and flies up maybe like a foot off of the ground. before she gets scared that she's up because she's afraid of heights she's and then hoot and then she crashes back into the ground but she does this a few times until she finally gets over to you it's almost like one of those um what are those games where like the things are flying at you and you're trying to dodge out of the way what are those called oh you mean like like Temple Run yeah that something you're just tossing trinket after trinket and so she's dodging out of the way And turning into a game as she sings a little song to herself and makes her way towards you, noticing the ledger, she pulls that aside.

And she is resting on top of it kicking her little owl feet as she slowly reads through the ledger. As like Twig is freaking out, I'm imagining that Hootsie would kind of like seeing that she's turned into an owl, she would like, Hootsie would nudge Twig. And just like Grico had taught her like left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. like she would basically walk forward, even though she has like a little, she's using some of her owl for it. She was trying to be teaching her how to walk like an owl. Yeah, absolutely.

And that is how she ended up getting to the point that she was able to start making her way on her own. And all the while Hootzee is watching Mama Owl bearing her as Twig eventually pulls the ledger over towards Hootzee, and she opens it towards the middle of it, It flops her tiny pygmy owl body on top of it and begins to start reading through. And she will, that would have been after.

She just looks at everyone freaking out and she'll just roll her eyes. And she'll go to Twig. And as long as Twig has it, I was going to basically also just trying to find a way to get it away from Grick-Go and in the hands to advancing the plot. Oh, yeah, don't worry. Yeah, okay. Okay, good. I'm glad. I'm glad.

Who sees the only reliable narrator. It is around this time as you are tossing trinket after trinket, Torbeck, some of your teeth are now half missing. As you've been gnawing on and licking at this jawbreaker, the rock has been grinding down a few of your teeth. Unevenly, this is not what we're listening to. Torbeck is unsurprised. So only like one of your front two teeth has nod down,

a couple in the back. It's very haphazard. Cremie, you are rocking and shaking on the side of this stump. Gideon, you're dragging Frost around. And all of this is happening as a warm breeze rushes by. And as it does, the sound of song is mixed in with it. You only hear as the breeze rushes by your ears. It is clearly a soprano voice as it sings a soft lullaby.

And for a moment, you feel dizzy and warm, almost as if you've just woken up from a very long nap abruptly. And as your eyes refocused, Torbeck, he realized that you were gnawing on a rock. Oh, not again. That moment of transformation was never going to come. You were not a wear cat. You've never been aware, cat. Why does this keep happening to you? And all of you begin to feel yourselves coming back into your person as something on the wind washes away the fay magics that have overcome you.

It's like a melodic soprano voice. Can it be something like, oh, when you're down and you're looking for some cheering up, then just head right up to the candy mountain case. You know, it was in, it was in, it was in Sylvan. Yeah. So you don't know what it said. But you imagine it was probably something similar to that. That was the melody for sure.

As I'm digging or be like, she called me Mr. Boombastic. Say me fantastic and what the fuck? And then all of the trinkets and the horribly fortified borough that I've made collapse on top of me. Am I actually looking at the moon, or was that an illusion? That was an illusion of the moon. Did in? Your kid Chad shirt is covered in spin. Oh, man.

Well, that's gross. Can you release me from these chains? Oh, yeah, man. Are you doing okay now? I never was. If I ever tell you that I'm a wear cat moving forward, please don't believe me. You're the most believable guy I know. I mean, if you say, hey, I'm a wear cat.

Look out. Bind me up just like that other time. I got to wrap me in chains. Next time, no matter what I say, I'm not a wear cat. I cannot wait for the next time. That's got to bite his ass. All right, man. If you heard, sure.

I won't harm you. I'll just continue to think I'm a wear cat. I will say everything than I could in order to. to convince you of the fact, but there's no danger. All right. Well, that sounds good to me. I turn around, I whip his chains, and they'll, like, they'll ripple out and kind of bounce him up to straighten him on his feet,

and then fall to the wayside, so you're now free. That was the haggiest laugh you've ever actually done. Like, you've done them, like, trying on purpose. That was a, I'm so terrified. It's gonna be like the B situation. Frosty's gonna be running at me as a wear cat. And we're like, oh, well, he said he wouldn't do anything to wow.

Do you need help? No, the rest of his campaign is Nikki figuring out how to actually get me to become a wear cat. That's why Nikki in real life is Maggie's Baba Yaga. As things begin to settle atop the stump, you, um, You see the trinkets just piled around all over the place. Torbeck, though you don't regain the clarity that you had in that moment of drinking the Famorians bit,

that moment where you felt like you could see through the veil of glamour that infuses everything in this place, you remember it. You remember the purple haze that. was swirling around the forms of yourself and your friends. You remember the voice that spoke to you. And I need you to roll a D20 for me, please. Okay. Just straight.

17. Now that the, the magics that were warping your mind have ebbed, you recognize this voice. It's not just the voice you heard in your dream. the night prior. It is also a voice that you had heard strapped to a table that you don't remember the words that were being said to you. You remember faint bits and pieces of people, beings milling about you, poking and prodding you, treating you like an animal. And the way that they began to cower and stumble over their words as this entity walked into the

room. This voice captured all of their attention. As this voice ordered them about and they did not they did not wait more than a moment to respond, the way the tension in the room rose upon his entrance into it. And though you could not see his face, though it was obscured by the contraptions that you were attached to and the bed that you were strapped down to. All you could see was the dark ceiling, which was nothing more than the ceiling of a cave, some sort of subterranean room that you were locked in. But that voice, you remember it now. It was there, not just once, but multiple times.

How many times you're unsure, but you know. with certainty that you have heard that voice before. Guys. Yes. Torbeck had what alcoholics might refer to as a moment of clarity. But in the absolute chaos, Torbeck ate what he thought was simple syrup and is pretty sure now was just spit. And glass.

But either way, Torbex heard that voice before, the voice from the dream. You're talking about that dream we had with the doctor? Yeah, but the menacing voice, the scary voice that everyone seemed to cower from. Tight pants. Oh, in the throne room, I'm the fucking throne. Yes, that person has visited Torquence. Dorbeck numerous times. What did he say to you?

In what context and circumstance? Well, when Torbeck was strapped to the table, D'Orbeck can't really remember, but during the moment, he said, we're coming for you. Oh, fuck! And something about the number 13. Hmm.

Well, that has a three in it. So you telling me, you probably followed. Oh, God. Well, that's what Torbeck was worried about back at the end. I like to slightly approach the edge a little bit, and I look down to see if I could see anybody. I actually want to look down to see if I still see all crap hands down there. You look down, and it is very foggy.

There is almost a layer of fog that swirls around this stump. But as the winds move it, you are able to peek down. down to bits and pieces of the docks below. And you eventually see where you had left Clapper Claw. And they're clearly sitting there dangling their feet over the edge as they throw rocks into the water. Occasionally you can hear their voice drift up on the wind. They're singing and humming and telling stories, talking to themselves.

Just normal kid shit. Torbeck wants to help all of you, but Torbeck is worried. put you in danger. Well, this is going to throw a wrench in the whole operation. I will scamper out, like my lower half is in the pile of trinkets and I'll finally

scramble out. And I will look at Kremian and I'll say, I mean, if the big bad guy underground is the one what experimented on Tulek or commissioned it or was part of

it, then we'll just gotta fuck him up like we're gonna do with the hags. It's just adding one more person to our list. Yeah, man. I mean, the only reason he would want him back is if he knows what they did to him made him powerful enough to be an issue. So this guy shows up. We'll do the same thing we do to everybody else. That guy didn't look like some kind of just hag.

I mean, this dude was sitting on a throne on the ground. I mean, who knows if he's some sort of equivalent to the fake queen that we're talking about. about. Like, we have no idea. Oh. Torbeck's sitting on the throne right now, man. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, a monarch is really only as powerful as their people. And they're saying, Dornbeck is still worthless? No.

Here's a whole of fine thought. If they were able to make two years happen in the span of a night, Well, I guess who knows how long. Years, he said, right? So at least two years. I would say, just looking at Torbeck, he looks to be at least five years older than the last time you left him.

A good amount of years. They have access to whatever the fuck all that is? You think they're not doing it to other fucking bug bears or whatever else? That's a good point for me. I mean, what if they get a bigger Torbeck to send after us? We may have to deal with.

that. Okay. And I might just have a grim imagination. How many times Torbeck do you fall off to Harris wheel and survive almost miraculously? Oh, Torback can't count that high. What if Toback has like some crazy resilience and other people would die under such circumstances? to put all that stuff in him. And Tobik survived it, whatever's done. That's a fair point. Yeah, I mean, they'd have to strap that huge contraption to him.

I wouldn't just slot on anybody. You know, it would be awfully fucking coincidentally. You show up the same now we do, or the same carnival we do. Otherwise, why would they follow them if they got, like, legions of bug bears or whatever? Like, why does Tobach matter? Man, that's a good point.

I also want to know how how much Mr. Lainton Mr. Which knew about the people who took you Torbeck. We probably knew everything. I hate those guys. We didn't have even given them back the thing. It's possible that you were just the first or that Grico's theory is correct. But this is something of a wrench in our plans.

You made it sound so simple earlier. Do this. do this, do this, get out and get the money that will eventually allow us to pay for our debt. But what are these hags, these three hags know of the voice that you heard, or of your abilities, or of any of this additional information? Are they going to be looking for you too, or are they going to know anything at all? They're, we're in a very unknown place and that makes me very nervous. Torbeck is extra concerned that they might be in Torbeck's brain. What if the things Torbeck knows or learns ends up in the wrong place?

Look, here's the thing, Tobik. If somebody come, calm down, look. I don't mean to freak you out, all right? Oh, God. He had, Hootie, Hootie. Uncle Tobeck needs a little bit. Uncle Tobeck needs a snuggle session. Squishy snuggle session.

Oh, there we go. And Hootzee's going to like basically act as like an emotional support dog or stuffed animal. And like basically kind of turn into like a squishy like plush toy or like chunky dog, but as an owl bear. Torbeck will be very gentle. Yeah, yeah. And she'll be genuinely happy and snugly and, you know, nestle in there. Torbeck, I have a few additional words of comfort for you. First of all, I was frustrated after you were able to attack us.

Not as yourself, but when you showed up again in the cabin and you were your other self, you were very powerful. But I was disappointed that I was not better prepared, that I was not able to contribute more to that. situation for I am quite learned about the mind when we have a chance to rest now now is not the time but when we have a chance to sit down and chat Torbeck I may be able to tidy a little bit to shuffle through and perhaps perceive something that you cannot okay for honest I'm willing to work with you on this there's much we can learn together

You know, I have, you know, maybe it's a little foolish of the accused of being a fool. Once or twice or fries or four ice or five ice. A day. A day. Many times. Oh, but, but. Okay, I'm trying to stay. Oh, Coosie, you're doing so nice.

Oh, by the way, I found the truffles of old jingle jingle. Oh, but we're on the right path. I bet that, you know, it doesn't matter if nobody knows nothing about this barn owl fella, or his dwarf man, and then anything else is going around here. But, oh, you know who I bet does is Zabunner. And so if Zabuner, who's the wise and. benevolent and all-knowing queen of this place, she seemed to be like the only one who knows what's going on around here.

Even the... Sir Talaver... Was there his name? Sir Talaver said, Oh, O's Abilner. Like, there's a whole Faye realm here, and Oza Bielner's not available. Let's ride off this whole area.

So she's a big deal. And so why don't we... It's probably just going to be her problem. We'll just tell her, Hey, you handle it. We'll go home. It'll be fine. I'm just worried about this being a problem

well before you. That's all. This is so unfortunate. You see as twig is now herself. Still roughly the same size as a pygmy owl. But she is nestled in the pages of this book.

Her broken glasses, as skew on her face, as she's reading through this ledger. Clevercloth, head isn't here. Is that a ledger? Yes, that was going to...

Oh. Can I... May I see that? Nope. Oh. Does it say where it is? Yep. Does it happen to mention the old F-Sack?

Nope. Filthy Sack? Nope. Bag of dream? Oh, sole bag. No. Oh, sack of dreams. Nope.

Memory container? Memory pouch. Nope. Can you just read it? us in order and if it has any sort of value corresponding debits, credits, these kinds of ledger, fodder things? Um, sure. It's interesting because this only goes back so far as the very day that Zablna disappeared.

There's not a single page in here from before. Do you know what that means? That they were enabled by the lack of a powerful room. It started on the day that Zablna disappeared. That makes sense. Yeah. When the government collapses, they start robbing people and looting.

Yeah. So, that's interesting. Why? Oh, I don't know. I just found it interesting. Do you find it interesting because you had an expectation that it was some time after the bill in the cell

that this all started or that it was so... Well, I was thinking of myself. You know, the rules here specifically. say is it specifically or a spiffically it's specific specifically that's what I thought it is specifically says in here that um you're not in here it's it's specifically says in the rules of this place that's what he said specifically and it says in this place that you can't steal what belongs to other people yes and he was stealing yes yeah breaking the law oh oh and this knows of bilna to enforce the law. And Sabana made those rules for the heirs, you know? Yes. For hither, thither, and yon,

which were not called that at the time. Well, it could still be intact, though. What? Well, it could be intact, right? Like, maybe he got horribly Faye curse, but where the culmination of that horrible curse, you know, because it did. So, like, maybe you just had a little bit of lag time, and we were the

instrument of the Faye Magic. Of his just dessert, so it was... Yeah, we just kind of doled it out. little dollop a door. Kind of like the threads of fate working in mysterious way. I don't know what you're saying right now, but what I will say is what I know

what I'm saying. And what I'm saying is this. I think him from stealing. And in the moment, Sabona was gone, he could steal all of a sudden. So we could break these rules, these three rules to rule by.

None of them apply anymore. I don't know. Not that we should. Not that we should. I actually like Gideon's theory that, uh, All Zabalna's been, that has happened to Zabilna is that she's been slowed. Her influence is still perhaps pervasive in this area.

If you were to steal, and I'm tempted to look at all of these trinkets and look at that legend. Remember, it's not stealing if he's bid, and all of his next to kin don't come to claim anything. Hey, rabbits. Yeah, where do they all go? I don't know, man. I thought I picked up. I thought I picked up the trail before, but it turns out I was just following Frosty getting dragged on the ground. Let's see if there's any burrows in this stump to see if there's like some sort of subterranean stumpy and city.

All right, go ahead. It's very clear to see there isn't. Oh, it's literally just a stunk. Yeah, Frost. You are very intelligent brownie. Thank you. I hear the logic of your words, and I'm proposing. that we all find ourselves a handful of trinkets that have no owners, they may come in handy.

That's actually not a bad idea, because I've given you a lot of stuff for free. Most people won't do that here, so you might want to have some monies. And Torbock ate one. Take your share, and you paid back. Well, because you're not giving it to me. Well, Torbeck's kind of giving it to you because it's kind of all his stuff. Oh, here's what I propose. That's true.

Torbeck never mind I can't ask that's rude Torbeck has had an idea what's your idea Torbeck Torbeck would like to gift all of Torbeck's friends from amongst his newly acquired treasures oh that's great I hope all four of you guys and Hootsie enjoy your new gifts Twig you are Torbeck's best friend too Do you mean it? Torbeck does. Wow.

No one's ever called to make their best friend before except for Pig Tunia, but I'm made Pig Tunia, so she has to say that. No one's ever said that Torbeck was Dorbeck's best friend until Clementine, and Torbeck made Clementine say that. You're my best friend, Thorpeck. Why, but you're Torbeck's best friend, Twerebeck. shoulders. All of Dorbeck's friends may choose five trinkets. Oh my gosh, I can't fuck. You're so generous, Lord Dolbeck. Oh, Torbeck likes the sound of that.

I mean, Prince Torbeck. That is what I got. Prince Torbeck. Let me see what I got. We should make up some business cards. I have trained you for this moment, Prince Torbeck. Like I foreshadowed. shadow six, five or more years ago

when I said, if you ever become monarchs of your own kingdoms. Oh my gosh, Torbeck, look at the house. No, Hitchie, no, no, no, no, no, stay with Torbeck. We'll get you rat snacks. We will find you rat snacks. Oh, Torbiv. Horrific and unsanitary. Look, I've found a lot of very much worded people. Humor for you.

American. Oh, my gosh, look at this. And you see as she pulls up a what is very clearly a fake beehive with these, these magically animated glittering bees that swirl around it. And it's clearly made for a sprite, a pixie, or a fairy. And she just happens to be one of those things. And as she takes it and picks up, it's a wig. She puts it down onto her head.

And she has a beautiful beehive wig with all of these glittering bees that swirl around it. That's pretty go. Ricko, when do I get a snail and when do I have to fuck a troll? Well, you may acquire a snail when the time is right and there's a grand tourney, and one snail binds with you spiritually for life. You must fuck a troll if your kingdom hails for a decade of spirit. against a nation of trolls and fucking the trolls

the only thing that will save it in siring a bug bro. Hey, Grico, will you do me a favor? Yes. You see this tiny wooden stool that's sized for Pixie or Sprite or Twig? And will you set it up next to Torbeck's throne

so I can sit next to my best friend? Oh, that's a perfect idea. Grico's so wise he can be hand of the prince and can be best friend of the prince. Yeah, that's great. Will you put the stool there for me?

Oh, actually, Lord Tulbeck, I figure as my first gift to you as monarch to monarch, I will grant you my grand maister to be your hand of the king. My squirko ignoring me. Oh, well, I'm walking up the, I'm walking up the, I'm walking up the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the trash heap and I keep sliding. Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay.

I'll place it right here. You do that. However, there is a, there's a caveat to this. Anyone but the owner who holds this stool gets splinters. And so as you're carrying it up, you feel splinters just shoot into your hands. And they are, you have 50 splinters. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Joe Beck.

I will grant you my grandmaister to be your hand of the king. I guess you'll never ignore Twig again. Hey, Torback. Twigs. Ah. Have you thought about too leeches about it? Why is the grandmaister bleeding? Oh, yeah, there's a lot of blood in his row in my room.

my rose. Twig will sit on her little stool next to Torbeck. And she's just happy squeezing her mouth, her mouse using her new wooden teeth and looking very beautiful in her beehive wig. Oh, I'm like poking around the trinkets, just trying to find something might be used in like a spell or something.

You can all roll D-100s. And I'll say as I'm looking. But you will need to write these down because what I will say, just for metagame knowledge, is you will have more success. Obviously, these trinkets are the currency of the Faywild. You will have more success by paying with these trinkets if the trinket itself is some way matches

whoever you are trying to trade with. The relevance of the trinket to the person is important. I'm convinced that this campaign is just an early 90s point and click adventure game. A hundred percent. Find the key, we go to the goblin. Well, you gotta kill those rabbits. We go, you gotta find my head.

We get the head, and give to the guy, and get the key, they give the big. Wings Awakening. Uh, D-100s? D-100s, yeah. As I'm poking around, the pile of rubble, I'll say, you know, that brings up a good point.

Didn't, weren't they riding snails? Didn't they have like snail stables around here or something? They're all out of snail stables and Missing. Salah and Mr. Witt promised me that snail number two would find its way here, and he hasn't yet. They did say that. Which makes sense because they're dirty liars. I haven't been saying much because I've been going around picking exactly the most perfect five trinkets that I think are going to be meaningfully important for this adventure and putting them in my pack.

Great, and those numbers are... 68? 68. Yes, you find a wooden pan flute that seemed to attract harmless local fauna when played. You played a little bit and you noticed that a few actual mice come up. You were able to hide them from view of Hootsie and they're able to go back

into the woods. Oh, I need to hide these from Hootsey. Hootsey. Hootie clairs at you as if you've done this many, many times before. 25. You also find a silver, fork with the outer tines bent sideways.

Oh. With outer... That's interesting. That is. That sounds like a significant. Is it significant like a dousing rob? Yeah.

That's what I was thinking. Nine. Five, right? A chess piece shaped like a dancing sater wearing a bishop's hat and clutching a gnarled staff. Oh. Chess piece.

Dancing Sater. Narled staff. Fader. Fader. Fader. That's what I'm a number. I hope you get a number. I hope you get one.

Crammy? No, crammy. I didn't get a one. I might give you one just to pick one of your random numbers and remove it. Yeah, make it a one. 63. 63. Why don't I go through all five? Sure. You can tell me which one that Cremi would see.

Black executioner's hood sized for a pixie or sprite. Whoa. A pixie executioner hood? Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gumdrop buttons. Uh, 74. Is this the last one?

Yep. A copper. Copper coin with a smiling Sater's face on one side and a Sater's skull on the other. Oh, to a red face. Grico, what are your numbers? 19. All right. You find a vitrified eye of a displacer beast.

Whoa. Are these in DNA beyond? Right. Right. I'm just gonna happen. Whoa, a displacer beast ought to go. of my displacing piece cloak, I forgot I had that function. And other numbers?

36. 36. Rock that floats and is small enough to hide in your closed fist. Whoa. Oh, and that's a rock fact. I'm gonna give you a name. Oh, no. Oh, Macabray.

23. Ball and cup toy that plays a short, victorious jingle, whenever the ball lands in the cup. Ball in the cup! It's ball in the cup! God, I got ball in the cup! Oh, who's see? You don't get to get this one. You don't have the imposable fun. Are you able to get the ball in the cup?

I'm certainly trying. Oh, it's okay that you missed. You can still try to get the ball in the cup because the ball's attached to a string. Oh, my goodness, boy in the cup! Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.

You're almost gone it, Gregel. Almost. That was close. A little ass twist on the sort of backstruck then. You do get the ball in the cup at once, but you get so excited, you shake your wrist and it comes out. You're spinning it like a helicopter, man. You got to put a little arc in your wrist. Too much. I'm doing terrible. Was that the fifth one for you? No, that was the third. Sorry. I'm 55.

A mask that helps you remember your dreams if you wear it while you sleep. Oh. Oh, what does the mask look like? whatever you'd like it to. Okay, I'll think of something. Taper. Yes. A taper. Yep.

A taper. Yep. And what's the last one? 90. 90. A set of false wooden teeth. Nice. Is she every roll?

No. Now you also have, she has two sets of false wooden teeth. So you now have a third set of false one teeth. One D. I am a taper what can't tell a lot. I'm a taper with cat color lie. I got a cat's eye and the floating rook. Doorback, are you taking anything?

Yes, I took five items and I'm keeping the scarf as well. Perfect, yes. 50. 50. You find a tiny hourglass without sand in it. Oh, oh. Oh, 71. A wooden apple painted blue. Oh, 82.

The blue feather from Harb's moon. A petrified Robin's egg. Oh. Petrified Robin. 39. 39. A vial of viscous liquid labeled Famorian spit. Oh, perfect.

Oh, maybe, Lane. 64. 64. Piano key carved from a sater's horn. from a sager's horn. Okay. Oh, wow. And then I'm just keeping the scarf as well. I'm wearing it. Gideon. Uh, 40. Wax candle that roars and crackles like a bonfire while lit. Oh, that's fucking great. We haven't had an ice pound. Oh, yeah. 45. It's pretty cool. What, you said 45? Sorry, I wasn't listening to you. A bar of soap that smells like something memorable from your childhood. Oh, need this. Soot with a memory, sod.

So with a memory inside. Only a gold vase. Uh, three. Silver hand mirror with a nymph-shaped handle. Oh. Interesting. Oh, yeah. Uh, 28.

Tiny clockwork dragonfly that slowly beats its wings, but can't fly when wound up. That's amazing. It's fucking perfect. 73. Nunchaku sized for a pixie or sprite. Nunchakus? No.

I don't know. Oh, you know that's actually... That's a terrible weapon. Man, we got so much pixie stuff. We were running them. We're able to make them an executioner with nunchucks. This is like... This is bad ass.

This is like fame all ninjas. Gosh, look at this glass green eye. It's glowing. Yeah, you want to see something cool. Check out this clockwork thing, man. It's just like that dragonfly from the crown. You should study. Oh, I'm going to study this.

Don't break it down. Gideon, you have been looking through your storybook, and you have seen inside of it, towards the back, a page that you haven't been able to decipher yet, you see the schematics for this exact same dragonfly. Tone, ton, ton. Cremie. I got a 34.

I got a 34. Fake three dragon anti-card depicting a fairy dragon. No way. This is fate. Hold on. Depicting a what? Sorry. It's a fake three-dragon anti-card depicting a fairy dragon.

I mean, that's just that really could be more perfect. Good God. What I do? Add to your head. Yeah, I'm really going to add to the third card to my hat. Oh my God. I got a 94. Tasteless wine charm shaped like a Sprite. like a sprite. Wine charm.

Sorry, tasseled wine charm. Tasteless. For Rose Night. Tasseled, but I repeat myself. Absolutely tasteless. Which wine chimes did you guys bring? Yeah, my goodness. Okay, 74. What's the other one that you have?

55. Just because I think we might. I might skip that one. I already know of 74. Okay. Okay, and then the last one. I mean, I just want to see which one to replace. 49.

So 74, 55, 49. A piece of parchment bearing a child's drawing of an ony. Oh. Whoa. That's fucking horrifying. These are spooky. That is very macabreate. What?

An omone. An ony. An ony. Oh, my God. So basically what the kids saw under the bed before he got fucking chomps. Okay. That's dark.

A 100-sided dye the size of a plum cut from coal. Oh my god. This is like spooky fake shit. Fucking literally. And then the last one, the one I'm replacing. It's the repeated one. It's the repeated one. A cookie cutter shaped like a unicorn.

Oh my god. 100%. Okay. Nice. cookie cutter. It does 1d4 piercing damage. This is... Oh. Wow.

That's so many cool monies that we got to just spend all over the Fay Wild. That thing is, I don't want to give up any of mine. I need two sets of wooden teeth. What happens if I break the first set of wooden teeth?

Are we allowed? Prince Tolbeck, sir. Are we allowed to rumble to rumble to through and perhaps find one additional to make a trade.

Oh, yeah, of course. Torbeck only said five is an arbitrary number to go easy on the DM. You can take as much as you want. I'd like to take 20, I don't like to drink

30 wild items, please. I would like to just give Hootsie something. Of course, Hootsie is Torbeck's best friend, too. She's looking here on. I'm still looking at it. I'm still I'll set her down.

I'm gonna roll 65, if that's something that is allowed. A tiny wooden lute with cat ears, cat hairs for strings. I don't think she's gonna be able to play that with a big bear paws. Well, I am a master musician and Hootsie, I know you've always been complaining about not being able to chew ruminant, vegetables when I tell you to eat your greens. I was like, oh, but, Papa, I'm a carnival.

Why are you having me eat dark leafy greens? And I'll say, well, a very attractive blogger and yoga pants said you should. And I want to look like a very good dad in front of them. So, here you go, and now you can match your best friend Twig.

I'm going to give her the vaults with a jeep. and they are magical wooden teeth they resized and head on the she's mouth and as she opens her beak you see wooden human teeth inside her beak well and now you

and now who too you have to remember that dental health is very important now finally and Frosty now we're going to get both of you flossing because remember what what Chuck was told Uncle Giff that you want to avoid the silent menace of gingervitis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like. It's like the bear that they used to teach children how to brush their fucking teeth. Oh, we get to teach you how to brush your teeth. Oh, this is gonna be so wonderful. Yeah, I can't really tell if this is cute or horrifying. And now I can... I'm leaning towards the ladder.

And now I can do this. Oh, this is so fun. And I play my tiny loot. Oh, what were some of the other items that you got? I didn't see it ago. Oh, I got my glass. You can tell us to displace the beast are, on account of it being glowing green even after death.

That's something that is. Yeah, it's very, yeah, I mean, a glass cats are. Yeah, I mean, I'll quite like it. It matches my cloak. Hey, wasn't Clapper Cloud supposed to be watching the skiffs? What happened? What? And you see it?

And you see that, Twig is standing at the very edge of the stump looking down towards the area where the skiffs had been. Cloppercloth's not there, and one of the skiffs is gone. Hey, Prince, your Navy's under assault, man. Tormec hasn't assembled any kind of military unit. Did you order that scarecrow to go? Didn't you leave your scarecrow, running? I think it's getting away.

We have to get down there right away. Follow me. What a thrill. With dark gifts and silence through the night. I just silently to go out of the clock. With a twig you watches. So we're going down? Well, where does it say that his head is?

Not here, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I didn't tell you what it said. No, you know. Oh, you're going to rid of it. Agon, claprocloth, skull, Skull to Bevlorna Blight.

straw. Oh, fucking great. It's in the bus room. What's dead? Does it say where the big skull key is? Wait, wait.

What is services rendered? But it does say that it now resides in Babylonas cottage's treasure room. That's what I said. Wait, services. Classic adventure game. Services render

that means that Agdon was, she did something. Maybe he was beating up the poor old Jabot

Did you? I don't know fucking straight I don't know Did you see how fucking fast that dude was moving? Ain't no other hair and gone No I was just

doing this You watch his twig Oh right then She rears back and she just Run straight off of the ledge Don't wait And then she flies Because she is a

A fairy creature. Her wings unfurl and she begins to fly down alongside you. Three minutes and four to five seconds. I give my life, not for honor, but for you. Oh, it's a ladder. It's a ladder, yeah. It's like this. And you eventually make your way down to the dock and to the area of the docks where the two skiffs had been.

One of them is clearly missing. The other does seem to be securely tied to the dock where it had been floating aimlessly in the dock when you had originally seen it. So it does look like Clapper Claw found a way to tie it there. Bits of the rope have been sniffed partially in half. Clearly, Clapper Claw's crab claws are a little hard to manage and they almost cut through some of the rope. But it is, it was clearly done as a sign of goodwill. and you do see that stuck to one of the posts is a small note. And scribbled in a childlike handwriting are the words,

sorry, couldn't stay, was called back to downfall, take this skiff and just go straight through the opening. You'll get there no problem. Very kind of that. They blessed us, they blessed our boat. It's now like a mistransmit. A traveling boat. Man, things are calling it.

Lookin' up. We got a lot of cool stuff if we're killing that rabbit. Good job, Colbeck. I mean, first I was like a little, whoo, it's a little macabre, you know? But now I've dropped all the cool stuff. I mean, I got a bowling cup. Oh, I didn't get a bow in the cup.

Oh, I forgot my 10-foot pole. I'll be right back. Not for runner, but for you. This stuff. Shit. This stuff is so cool. It almost lightens the horrific moral load that is on

Torback's shoulders. Fucking murder. I'm back. Before we take this gift, we have to go find the hill. See if we can find jingle-jingle and give her her truffles back. I can deliver it if you need.

me too. I've got wings. Well, no, then we got to get the key and we got to take it back to Sir Calivar. Okay, I can take the key to Sir Talvar. I like this out of that. No, I think, I know, I think we got to be the one to do it, right? No, as long as we say, oh, hey,

can we send both of them a note? Yeah, okay. Well, can we send both of them like some sort of official contracts? I mean, this is... You run up a contract, yeah, run up a contract. Do you mind? And, oh, oh, Twink, you can have them so... for delivery.

Exactly right. C-O-D, if you know what I mean? Pulled that one, once or twice. What? I'm super fast. All right, well. Does that mean that we can wait here? I can go 60 feet.

How quickly can you go 60 feet? And what span of time, anybody can go 60 feet. He's at the slanty tower in a cage. Okay. I can go 90 feet if I wanted to. Wow. But through the swamp. I need to rest

I'll see you like I don't know I just appear 90 feet away but how many times can you do that? If I fuse my hut I can go even fast nearest it's like you feel like you'd look up in the sky and teleport us all one mile yes and

this is ridiculous that's absolutely can you imagine if you had something so unrediculously powerful I'm gonna leave now without any contracts see you later bye 114,000 bloodsaging damage. Okay, write the contracts, Kremlin!

So I'll snap from this shadowy, swampy, almost like, portal will open up these contracts will float, and I'll sort of write them up real quick, and it's for services rendered. So there's going to be one for, you know, in exchange for truffles, key to cage of, you know, Sir Talavar. you know, please sign on delivery. And the next one will be for one key of Tala Vars Cage, you know, audience with Titania Queen of the Fay.

Do I need to deliver these? Or could Big Tunia do it? Is Big Tunia capable of asking for a signature? There's not really a room to fuck. I mean, sure. She reaches down into her acorn purse, and she pulls out, she pulls out a what appears to be a small truffle and she tosses up into the air and Pigtunia appears out of the truffle.

And she begins to fly. Twig's eyes go a milky white and you watch as Pigtunia's mouth opens up and you hear, See sign, hi, I'm Twig, Tunya, and I'm inside big, Jr. Here I am asking questions. So... Wow, Twig is twerging. I don't know what that means.

I mean, she has the blood of the first phase. Oh, no. Here we go. Great power. She's the three-out fairy. Oh, yeah. It's a point. Oh!

Oh, my gosh. I can't wait to learn never what that means. Twig's eyes return to normal, and she whispers into one of Pigtunius floppy ears exactly what the instructions are, as you are able to strap the contracts to two of Pigtunius' feet. I'll take one of my rings and they're rolled up. I'll take one of my rings and place it against the rolled up scroll of parchment.

I do that two times. It'll almost magically will generate a wax seal that has a skull with a top head on it. And it'll go, whew, wheeling sounds of souls. It'll be a wailing. Beetlejuice door where they're all like. Yeah. And you were able to take the satchel of truffles and place them over a pig tunia's shoulder. She sniffs at the truffles longingly, but she's been ordered not to eat any of them.

And she's a loyal familiar. All right, go just put this in your mouth, but can they like put it in the side. You strap them to her legs. Oh, all right. I'll just flash it to. Okay, pig, Junia, you know what to do. Go forth and deliver contracts with nefarious small script. Now remember, truffles for the keys.

Yes. Keys, you unlock the guy, and the guy guarantees us the audience. And when you're done, come back to me, because until then, I don't have a very useful, important part of my life, and my only other friend, so go. Yes, if you mess this up, you're snout of a job. She brushes over. That was a bit of a stretch, but I liked it.

She rushes over, and she embraces Pig Tuna, and Pigtunea flies off into the fog carrying your contracts. Good luck, Pigtunia. Yeah, flying up some of the loose ends that I don't want to deal with as a DM. Oh, I love it. It's like a loomy in prime. Yeah. She handles that all of that. We don't have to go back there. That happens.

Oh, I also want to pitch that along with the Wheeling Souls, it'll be in tune and in the same pitch will be a Duke Ellington-style big band. whi-o-wah. I don't be souls in the Duke Ellington Jazz whale. I feel much better about that. I don't think I'm ready to go adventuring

all on my own just yet. You've done unbelievably well so far. And also, I realized, as I suggested, who's going to further the plot if I leave? That's a good thought. Oh, no, we need you desperately. So I'm going to stay for a bit longer. until we can get our fey legs, you know?

You were able to negotiate. You handled yourself well in combat. Committed war crimes. You committed crime. You were able to handle exploration. And you were transformed into an owl, and even though you were twigging out, you were able to deal with it.

What a wordplay with this guy? Frasie was waiting for three hours. I've been waiting for so long. You've read that book. Like a champ. You know, it's hard to read. I'm going to continue to read. read this ledger while we make our way, because it's all in Sylvan, and I don't know

Sylvan, like the back of myself. And so, um, let's get in the boat and go to downfall, I guess, yeah? If you say so. Okay. That's enough, you know what? I'm gonna get that. That's enough, rustic. Stick with the intelligence, you know? Puns are the height of intelligence. I guess the fucking scared And I was like, Here, you can play with this for a little while

You're a small fellow It magically goes in As I use my magical hand My psionic hand To get it into the cup Whoa! Okay, give it here, give it here I'll bet I can do better

Ah Okay Okay On this attempt It's about to go in And a hand like knocks it up Bad luck Bad luck

But so you should have always learned to be persistent even for something as simple as Bollinerka. And with that, you all climb into the skiff. You unhook the rope. It's very easy, considering so much of it was damaged by Clapper Clause Clause. But you are able to get into the skiff and begin to make your way through an opening

in the Queen's Way, part of the Queen's Way that has completely crumbled by the encroaching swamp. And though your vision, vision is obscured, you follow the note and you just continue to head through the fog. And it feels almost magic in the way the skiff is propelled forward. You do not need to row as the swamp itself carries you deeper into the murky recesses of this place.

The mangrove trees hang low over you, they graze against you as you move slowly. slowly along the almost still water. The thick fog hangs heavy in the air, obscuring the area around you so that the world appears to have shrunk to only 20 feet in all directions. Before you, the waterway widens and the current slows, giving the impression that you have entered a lake. Croaking voices penetrate the fog, through which dark shapes appear, resolving into two rowboats, manning the oars of each rowboats or two bullywags.

in them. You see that each rowboat has not only the bully wugs that are rowing, but there are also in total four finely dressed bullywugs. A male and a female in each. The females have their parasols twirling behind them as they wear lacy dresses. The men in top hats

and coats are singing songs to them as they giggle and laugh as they enjoy a nice row around this lake. And as you begin to slide in, one of the boats turns towards you and you hear, welcome to downfall, travelers. You should really make your way to see the king. Oh, he would love to see them, wouldn't he? I think he would. They're quite interesting. Oh, look over here, Julia. Do you see? They're not bully bugs at all. The king will love them. And that is where we won the session. Ooh, baby! Is there a song at night when the lake is a mirror?

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