Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 24 | Slippery When Wet

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

The party enters the bullywug city of Downfall and begins to plan their next steps...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/yScizncJ37Q?si=iiR8KbpWUt6ZQYei

Hey everybody, welcome to Legend of Avantrith. I'm Chuggled the Clown, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. All right, see, the the gone or the wait for some kind of ambush. We've got to find that F-Sack. I don't need to eat because I'm literally just a soul trapped inside of this body that was given to me by a heck. If anyone wants to claim it, speak now or forever hold your peace. Please don't speak.

Dormac doesn't like confrontation. Help tingle-jangle, get the keef, save the dragon, favor with the fay, kill the hangs, saves a bill and a pay off the deck, Torbeck's caught up! You make your way to the very top of the stump. You see tents set up, beddings, target dummies for archery practice, and in melee combat, sitting atop a pile of thousands of trinkets, stolen items from all over the Hither, you see a makeshift throne, a throne for the Brighan Prince of Prismair. The voice from the dream. He said, we're coming for you.

We have to go find the hill, see if we can find jingle-jingle and give her her truffles back. You are able to strap the contracts to two of Pig Tunia's feet. Okay, PigTunia, you know what to do. Go forth and deliver contracts. Now remember truffles for the keys. Yes. Keys you unlock the guy and the guy guarantees us the audience. You all climb into the skiff, you unhook the rope. Before you, the waterway widens and the current slows, giving the impression that you have entered a lake. Welcome to downfall, travelers. You should really make your way to see the king. Oh, he would love to see them, wouldn't he? Thick fog hangs heavy in the air, obscuring the area

around you so that the world appears to have shrunk to only 20 feet in all directions. Before you, the waterway widens and the current slows, giving the impression that you've entered a lake. Croaking voices penetrate the fog through which dark shapes appear, resolving into two wooden rowboats. Manning the oars of each rowboats are two bullywugs. Sitting in them are two couples, one in each boat. Both of them dapper, dapperly dressed in a tail-coated. coat. The female bullywug is wearing a beautiful white lace dress with a parasol over one shoulder that she twirls in her hand as the sun just barely peeks through the boughs of the maingrove trees. And one of the male's legs is lazily in the water just dipping his stooping his feet.

toes in and enjoying the nice cool water on his feet. As they laugh and smile, they notice you. And they begin to chatter as one of them yells out. Welcome to downfall, travelers. Oh, what a do? One of the females gets incredibly excited and looks to the other. Julia must go see the king. Oh, you're so, king. King the 17th. No, Julia, he died, remember? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, the 19th. Yes, you must go see the king. Not a turnover, huh? I'm going to throw my hands up. She's not going to run up behind Gideon.

Get us out of here! Get us out! Yes, my nose will probably sound like I'm congested for this whole adventure. Oh, God. I didn't listen to Skirvy Dave's. Rule number one is to never approach someone on a sailboat. Yeah, no, no.

On the right, what are you out of your mind? Oh, I don't know. I would attempt to mend it, but I'd be afraid of breaking it further. Yeah, that's not how that spell works. Okay, let's move on. Frogs. What a new? Y'all speak coming.

The commotion and everything that it just happened upon their greeting seems to have spooked them as both boats have quickly sailed off into the swamp. Well, Nancy and the others are gone. I guess we spooked him. Well, I'm not surprised.

I mean, the Ricko is bleeding like a fountain over here. They're probably freaked out, man. Here, take one of these rings. I tear off a piece of cloth. Oh, wow, that's very fitting, though. At least you'll stop her the bleeding. You do find yourself in a circular area.

There are channels that are coming in from all sides, and there are small outcroppings of land almost in a circle around what appears to be in the very center of this area, shrouded in fog stilts that rise up into the fog top. There are clothing lines that string down from some center point in the very middle up above the fog top that you can't. You can't quite see from this vantage point, but they seem to string down to different points all around the land masses that are here. Let me see if I can get an image for you. So that is what you're looking at.

And so this is the area where there are stilts that go up and there's some kind of structure up in the fog. Could be. Oh. And then you see that there are strings, clothes lines, it looks like. And there are clothes attached to them that are coming down out of the fog top and attaching to different buildings and structures all around this area. You have made your way in along this pathway.

And you do notice that immediately to your side there appears to be an area. where you could dock your boats and make land. Is, are the rope bridges attached to the main centerpiece, or do they just attach around in a ring? They go from buildings straight up to that main centerpiece. You can't see what that is because it is shrouded and fog, but you can see that there appears to be wooden steps that are haphazardly winding down around it,

and it is held aloft out of the swamp on stil- Would we be able to do? from what we saw atop the stump, that that's Blue Vorn's, like, or not the Blue Vohort's Hut, but the Hut. From being on top of the stump, you were, I would say yes, you would be able to deduce that that was. And I guess since you have seen that.

Well, we were told that it was in the middle of the city too, right? This is what you remember seeing from the top of the stump. And that is the way that the hut rises up out of the fog and kind of perches above the top. So are all the other structures also like risen off the ground? varying levels. So the way that the... It's like a stilt city almost.

I was picturing kind of like Jets like city, you know, an avatar. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tree top city. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think it's more like a swamp city. Yeah, it's more like a swamp city. So you notice that most of the structures are built on stilts. Some of them seem to be twisted and tilty

due to the natural warping of the water on wood. They are covered in moss. and algae. The sound of animal life is present here. There is specifically a cicada that is sitting on a lily pad off to the side. It's not your typical cicada. He's a, he's a cicada with a fiddle. Is that a swamped cicada?

Is he a fiddle? I've seen one of those Zanzigwe. Y'all just move along, alright? I don't want anybody to interrupt my plan. That's night where the lake is a mirror. And the moon gets away from the shore. Well, it's not very common, and he's kind of a jerk. He lays back with one leg thrown over the other

as he tunes his fiddle and enjoys the nice swamp air. He's, um... Oh, hey, hey, fella, what do you want? Do you give lessons? Do I... I'm a fucking cicada! I mean, I see that, but you're playing an awfully pretty tune there, and I got this here fiddle, and I don't really know how to play it. I just found it.

No, fuck off. Whoa! Jeez, man. He probably knows Tom. Oh. Yes. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the subterranean chamber after a 17-year slumber. Oh, great comedy.

That's who I wanted. I didn't want it to sit here and play my fiddled by myself. I wanted comedy in my fucking cicada earholes. You're acting like you're going to die in a week and we're wasting your precious time. What's fuck? Yeah, it's too real, man. It's probably

exactly what's happening. No, I'm definitely not teaching any of you the fiddles. Is it a... Is it bad that I've imagined all of us in kind of like the adventurous animated style? And I'm imagining the cicadas like literally a hyper-reel. list of a little.

Let's put up in a list of like a clip heart cicada. Maybe how you do you? Yeah. Oh, man. As the wind picks up, it catches the lily pad, and you watch as this cicada slowly drifts off into the fog.

And you won't have to roll perception check to notice this, but the name Jeremy was carved on the fiddle as he slowly fades into the distance. The wrong, asshole! I'm going to help solve this whole adventure for you. Oh, yes, that's Jeremy. I really thought he could have given us

a lot of information about this next encounter, but he didn't seem forthcoming at all. Yeah, you didn't ask him a single damn question. Where were you? You clammed up the whole time. Do you have a phobia? I was trying to read his mind, but his mind was like a steel trap. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, it was insects.

Well, uh... Was that a cichada? Cicada, I believe. if it sounds pronounced. I mean, he said it to us. He did? Yes, he said, I'm a fucking cicada. I thought it was a different word.

I'm like, oh, that's a cacaba. Oh, was it one of those words like you've only ever seen written. Yeah. I mean, no. Yeah. Oh, like, her me one. You know what I mean? Oh, I've been saying it wrong.

So how you say it? Oh, I was in a guest lecture at Goblin College on bug sirements. Oh, you've given lessons on science and you pronounce it, Siaments. Oh. It was someone told me, my buddy told me he had a great gig for me. I didn't know. It was an attempt at the Goblin College trying to make everything up. I looked at the book and it said, Kakata.

I thought it was just a music gig. Anyway. It's going to be all right, Grico. As far as options, I propose that we stay close to the land. and go around the perimeter of whatever the central structure is. No, Torbeck, I think, going to the house over here and not the central structure makes more sense. Thank you for your input.

Now, again, if you look over there, why don't you roll that way? You see what I'm saying? Yeah, well, I'll just want a spot we can dock. Okay, yeah, we'll pull up right there. Oh, come on, man. Let's stay out of the way. Broke in the second time, we're going to have to cauterize you. Oh, believable.

It is at this time that you do, you are paying attention. to Torbeck, and you see that he hasn't said much. And as your attention is drawn to him, you see that he has slumped towards the back of the boat. His breathing is shallow. His eyes are a strange silvery color. The same silvery color of the Famorian spit that he drank just a mere hour or so ago.

To me! I immediately also check his back cans. His back cans seem to be to be properly full. They don't seem like they are emptying into his body. That's good. Full backhand, very important. You think he's OD in on that witch line? He seems to be under some sort of perhaps a trance or vision or under the influence of that jar of spit-he for some reason to drink.

Yeah, you make a lot of giant spit, you know. It's... Torbeck. Torbeck. I try to get his attention, sort of gently tap his face with my hand. You do that and his his face moves with you. He looks like he can see you. And it's almost as if he wants to say

something to you, but he can't seem to form the words. He attempts to speak, but his lips seem to feel heavy to him and he stops. He looks uncertain. And he starts to sink

further back into the boat. He looks tired. Hmm. Well, I guess this is a good reminder for none of us to drink Florian spit. I'll certainly think twice before I make the attempt. Um,

so he doesn't look like he can move on his own. By the way, I'm Twig, I'm here too. Oh, yeah. Oh, and Hootie, you're here too. Perhaps Hootie, for this adventure. Why don't you stay with Uncle Torbeck and keep him nice and warm? Well, that's a great idea, Twig. Do we think we can maybe somehow sneak him in? into the little inn that's miniaturized?

Oh. Well, I'd have to make the inn not miniaturized. And I don't see any places here I could do that. Oh. But we might be able to find one if we more the boat and we get out onto land because I could just put him inside for a little bit and then make him into a purse.

Oh, that sounds really bad. No, you would make Cremie. I'm sorry, Cremie. Yeah, you want to make crevy into a purse. Look, I'm not going to take offense to that, but just be careful, you know, just trying to think about the words you're saying. I don't have to fucking deal with him. What is that supposed to be? It's a living in a night of me.

I'll tell you. I think you'd make a very handsome purse, Craigney. That's a compliment. So, I mean, if we can just, I mean, and here's the thing. Whether it was the spit or not, he went through two awfully big doses of that stuff in, what, the span of two days, not even. Oh, yeah. It's been pumping through his body. Yeah, so he's probably coming down.

Let me just make, just a quick check to make sure he's not dying from delirium and withdrawal. So I'll just do a quick check of my primal healer ability. A medicine check for me, please. I'll also be looking around to see if I can find a flat clearing where we might be able to produce the hut. Okay. I would say I'll roll an investigation.

Yeah, an investigation. check you're looking. 12. You feel this pulse, and it seems to have slowed a little, but it's not, it's not perilously slow. He definitely seems like he's overcome with exhaustion, and there's some lingering effect of the Femorian spit that he consumed. It's almost as if, like a poison, his body is trying to filter it out, so he is essentially shutting down to be able to process.

whatever the Femorean, whatever is contained in Femorean spit. It seems like with some time, Torbeck is probably going to fall unconscious, conveniently for the sake of the story. I'll have my, I'll say, follow the birdie, and follow the bird. And I'll actually have the turnover of my rook, the two-headed vulture, like giant vulture out.

Well, okay, okay, you're fine. You're just a little out of it. Okay, he's going to be fine. Oh, he's not dehydrated, okay? Hootie, you just got to stay with him, Make sure he's drinking from that water next to him. Oh, no, that's his gin. Get me that.

Give me that. Well, I want everyone to think of this whenever you, if you ever have the opportunity to make out with the Famorian. Think twice. I got a 19. Perfect. How big are fomorians? Would I know how big fomorians are?

No. I have no idea. Oh, mystery. Yeah. I mean, what even is it? Not sorts of fucking Famorian. Also a mystery to me. I just know the name because of, like, I don't know.

You have heard it. You've heard it a couple of times. They were mentioned by Sir Talavar when he was talking to you. And then it was also written on the vial that it was Famoyans. Really, the only question is if there's another similar race called a Philecian. What? You look around and you see that next to the dock that is convenient, to your right. You see that there is quite a bit of swamp land around it. There is also

as you get closer and the fog starts to dissipate a little bit around you, you see that there is a wooden platform that rises up off of the patch of swamp grass that's there and attached to it. Floating in the air haphazardly is something that you have seen before. A sister to a damaged balloon that you had seen near Talavar. It seems to be another one of these swamp balloons that is tied here to this almost like a docking platform for balloons, but it is clearly being attached to something that is pumping it full of some sort of gas,

and you can see where there are tears in the balloon portion of it as the gas leaks out in puffs out into the air. and the balloon rocks this way and that and slowly falls back down. It tries to rise, rocks, and then falls back down. Like a wacky. Like you are playing swamp gas balloon. Yeah. Wow.

Well, I seem to have found a place where we can put the house, but look at the balloon. This, a balloon, swamp gas. If we don't run into aliens soon, I'm going to be very surprised. X-File style. What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? Sorry, sorry. Nothing, nothing.

Actually, let's get in. Let's, let's, uh, let's, uh, let's, uh,

roll on our, uh, to that direction. All right, Grico, mind yourself, man, all right,

stay back there. Okay. All right, um, stay in the fun of the blood, I'm going on. Yeah, I'm going on a real even cadence.

You couldn't possibly hit yourself. Here. Stop. I don't get thinking about it. No, don't get entranced, man.

Don't get, oh, no, look at them. Oh, He has to learn. Don't stop him. I'm going to hold my cane out. It's a total barrier across the rowboat or the skiff.

It takes a bit of time, but you are able to navigate through the swamp water and through the fog to get the boat sideled up right next to the dock. And you're able to clamber out onto the rickety wooden dock. It's wood warped and slick with the wetness of the swamp around you. But you find your footing and you're able to make your way onto the patch of land. And as you get closer towards the structure, twig does take some time to move off towards the edge to this nice open clearing. Lightning bugs swirl around her as she utilizes. her acorn bag and turns it into the inn at the end of the road. She's able to get the door open and she makes her way inside and comes out shortly after.

Behind her, floating is a wooden stretcher that seems to be magically propelled through the air. And as she talks to it and chants to it, it follows along behind her. And with your help, you're able to get Torbeck now completely unconscious up onto the stretcher. and she's able to get him inside of the inn. While she is getting him settled, you have some time to talk amongst yourselves and get prepared for what you're going to do next. What an extremely useful stretcher, that is.

Twigs levitating stretcher has a nice ring to it. Don't you agree? Yeah, you're pretty good with names, man. That's a good one. Steve, that's really clever. Thank you. It's a completely original name. I can rely on any other information to come up with that.

Well, I mean, he just described what it was. Yeah, well, man, he does what it says on the tin, you know? Man, that describes it in the thing itself. Yeah, well, what better name that when you read it, you know exactly what it fucking does. Just don't give him too much credit. I love his e-book. I love self-evidence. I just feel bad, you know, I didn't know she was doing that, so I dragged him all the way out of the boat

and halfway up to the thing before she got the stretcher. I think you hit his head on like 15 rocks. I had to pull all of those leeches off of his legs, kid here. Do you know, I mean it was quite serendipitous because now we have snacks for later. Yeah, what did you do with them? Where are they? Oh, they're in my leash bag. Do you know how long I've been waiting to use this? Anyway, Ho Chi, you stay with Uncle Tallbeck, make sure he's nice and hydrated and comfy you can snuggle with him.

And if he reaches for any kind of gin or bourbon or rum or any spirits, just do what you have to do to stop him. I'll give you full permission. Cartet Blanchet, as they say. Have you ever... I don't think they do say that. Have you ever only read Cartet Blanche before? Of course. Yeah, great.

Yes. Hey, and Twig, why are you in there? Do you mind bringing out full bean juices? Or the cat piss, whatever the fuck it was. You call out, and the door to the inn is open. You're unsure of whether Twig has heard you or not. Man. tell whether she brings you anything drink.

I'll gesture to the balloon. And so, I mean, if they got one of these here, and it looks like the same make, like the exact same. So maybe that's where Taliban came from was here, and this is just how they get around. I mean, what do you think, gear? You think you could patch it up? I mean, I could give a shot, but I'm not a fucking seamstress.

You know, but I think, you know, this is some sort of contraption, and your whole thing is like figuring out drive contraption. Oh yeah, I thought it was just a balloon, so I mean, if it's more than that, I can definitely take a swing at it. And I could absolutely sew that up.

I mean, I learned, became pretty good at needlework when I started stitching Hootie's very cute-looking Halloween I mean, spirit Halloween costumes. My favorite holiday. Yeah, I always did turn out really cute. Yeah, they really cute.

I like the one that you did where it was kind of just like her, but it was a little more cartooning. So it's like she was wearing a bear costume. Yeah, yeah, wasn't that cute? Oh, gosh. Oh, that was a good spirit of Halloween. And then there was three years in a row

when she just wanted to be a princess. And I tried to convince her, but she's like, I can't say no to those eyes, you know? Oh, also, who should you need to stay here? Because if you escape from this place, they might know who you are. So you need to stay hidden so you don't get kidnapped again.

I forgot about that. Isn't something like blowing swamp gas into the balloon? It's hard to tell what's happening, there. It is a raised platform up off of the, there are once again stilts and wooden steps

that lead up to it. But it is on this platform. It does seem to be hooked up to something. You imagine that with closer inspection, you might have a better idea of what needs to be done to fix it. All right. Well, let me climb on up there and take a look at it. See if I can't fix it or whatever. Get any kind of clue about

what flew in on. I mean, the last one had TalaVar and Hootsie. Who knows what the hell was flying around in this one. Hopefully there's not a bunch of horribly poisonous swamp gas. But, or think we should check to make sure if someone owns it and is trying to fix it, we offer our services. I know that we've been kind of erring on the side of stealing and killing lately.

And, I mean, it's been a bit of fun. I won't lie. But let's try to perhaps parlay and trade. Well, look, all I'm saying is, I'm not saying. and we need to take it, but it's a good plan B if we need to get away out of here. I think, you know, while Twigs putting towback to bed, why don't you fix the balloon, if you can, and why don't you get a sense if you can drive the thing or fly the thing, whatever it is?

When you do, make sure that whatever mechanism there is for steering doesn't put us in complete mercy of the wind. I imagine there might be some sort of magical device. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an escape at all. We would just float upwards and then float back down because there's no wind here right now. Oh, I can get sure to win. Oh.

Well, not me. It's my, the great spirit of the rook, of course. But, you know, I can say, hey, we're pretty, you know. Well, if you can match is up. I can set the fire, man. We can give that thing pumping in no-time flat. And I got, in Fay Engineering for Dummies, I just got to the Dragonfly portion.

That's kind of like, you know, I mean, dragonfly. That's kind of like flying. Oh, you know, maybe there's some kind of like, shared mechanism. Dragons flawed, balloons fly. It's all got wings, you know. Seifa Catwoman. That's a great film.

Well, that's a deep cat. That's a good one. First, I agree. Let's see if there's an owner, and let's learn as much as we can about this place, and who inhabits it, and whether or not they might be an ally or foe, or what they might know about everything that's going to. on here and Prismere. And I'll keep an eye out.

Any more Bullywugs? Anyone else that might be watching us? I feel bad for scaring. Jessica, Julia. Nancy. Fuck. It's okay. I'm no better. It's not even close.

I thought it was Stephanie. Well, there was a Julia. Oh, second try. Julia. There was Julia and Nancy. She called out to Julia, correct? Yes.

Yeah. She called Nancy called out to Julia. And then Julia responded to him. He didn't get any of the gentlemen names. You did not. Holy job. No, they seemed like they were very much enjoying a nice, pleasant evening out on the water

with their best gals in the moment that any kind of ruckus started. They. I figure I killed the valve of the romantic evening. That's unfortunate. I hope one of the gentlemen is named Billy Wig. That would just be very amusing to me. Why? It's probably not.

You would guess. Billy Wigg the Bully Wug is hard to say. That's very funny. Well, I mean, on the one hand, I'm kind of, I'm a little, I'm sorry that I've ruined their vibe, but maybe we've got, like, talking that one of the guys would show up and his name would be Billy Wigg and he'd say, hey, we notice you from across the bar and we really like your vibe. You can dry that first. I'm sure we'll run into them again.

Okay, I'm sure. I just want to, I want to say so. from being just a little skittish. Well, they're probably worried about it. Seems like it's pretty easy to end up in a guillotine. That's what I'm worried about it. Did you see which one of us? I don't know who had the visions of all of the bully ones?

Oh, me and you? Yeah. You look just like those guys. If you guys ain't scared, then none of you didn't have the same visions than we did. No, I'm nervous. But that's why I want to, you know, just in case we need this thing to get the fuck out of here, though,

and it's ready to go. What are stakes? And did you hear you hear? Here the king is like the 20th, so they either really just like that name or, you know, they've had kind of a lot of turnover. Like you were saying. Yeah, it was a lot of turnover. There was a lot of thumbprints on that copy of bully jugs. And they were all different sizes.

You could only see one page left because restaurants stuck together. I'm not sure what you mean, Giddy. Oh, you'll find out on my shirts. Because we're in a swamp and everything's a little tanking. I think what he means that it would look like one magazine like in case in a block of ambor, you know, but it's not quite the ambicolor. So how do it works? In case in a blog of Opel is all that. If we find a vendor that sells a bully jugs.

It's a buddy jugs. We'll have to get him a new copy. Roll a perception check. Grico and I are like, I guess, climbing up to where the balloon is. Clammer. Clammering. Clammering was a good SAT word that Niki used. Oh, we're clamoring up the gangway to where the balloon is.

11. Okay. You make your way to the base of this structure. and the wood is rickety and swollen with liquid, but it seems to be safe, at least for the time being. And Gideon, you begin to scale this structure, taking the steps to sometimes three at a time. These were clearly made for bullywugs,

and your stride is much larger. You're able to sail up towards the top. Kremi, you are scouting around the bottom listening for the sounds of bullywugs. And you do hear some singing, but it is off further out into the murky lake, actually towards the direction that the two boats veered off into

after they left from speaking with you. And it's the sounds of a love song being sung off in the distance. But outside of that, it is the sounds of croaking and the buzzing. of insects, other animals that are skidding about the swamp itself, but you don't hear the sounds of any bullywugs. You do, however, hear the sounds of clanking and clamoring from up above

on this structure. There is clearly some kind of mechanical element to this. Gideon, as you crest up over the steps, you get a full view of this structure. Looming above, a ramshackled wooden pier is a balloon anchored by four thick ropes. tied around wooden posts driven deep into the mire the balloon's bladder expands and sags at irregular intervals as swamp gas fills it briefly before leaking out through various tears in its patchwork fabric a bullywug stands near the top of the ladder and is using a long silver needle and a spool of catgut to show up one of the openings huddled nearby are three giant frogs whose long tongues snap snap up passing insects

The bullywag doesn't seem to notice you as he continues to sew up tears in this balloon. The three frogs do seem to notice you, but two of them seem to be anchored on either side of the ladder holding it in place so that the bullywag that's perched atop it repairing the balloon doesn't lose his balance.

The third is very clearly distracted by a large mosquito that is just flying zoos. zooming around him as his eyes go this way and that before he snaps it out of the air. He's a very hungry. Thank you. Can you do the dying sound when he snaps it up? A what sound? The dying sound.

It's beautiful. That's good. You seem to be undetected as you make it up onto this platform. Frost, you're following shortly behind. Yes. I'm not that sure. short, but yeah. Great. Where are you, Grico? I was behind Gideon. Okay. So the three of you have made it up towards the top, and that is what you see. Hey, Bullywug, you, uh, is this your balloon? Uh,

you say this out loud. Your voice echoes throughout the swamp. The Bullywug acts, uh, jerks back. I'm not expecting to hear a voice. He accidentally stabs himself in the finger with the needle. He starts to, oh, fuck! And he starts to reel backwards as the, the ladder pulls away from the balloon. The two frogs on the side are hopping around it and not sure how to keep it safe. They're not really, they're frogs. They're not designed to keep this safe.

As he starts to catch his balance on the ladder, almost walking on it like stilts as he's turning this one. Who's there? Who's there? I hear you. I hear you. I've got a needle. Oh, well, hey, it's us.

Are you going to? Who's us? It's us. He slowly starts to rock back and forth. but he seems to have caught his balance as he slowly leans forward and the latter stays itself against the balloon again.

He's looking around, but he can't seem to, he can't seem to see you as he as he stills. She said you? No, man. Listen, we just, well, who's she?

Actually, maybe. You know Twig? Who's Twig? Oh, well, then no. If you don't know Twig, I mean, like kind of twigs sent us and there was, you know, it's kind of a big yell. Who's she, man? Pavlorn or Blatstraw?

Oh, no, she didn't send us. We came here to kill her, I think. Oh, never mind. Damn it. Somebody else to get up here, man. I'm moving as quick as I'm here. What the hell why are you so short back there? His entire body stiffens as he, as he hears the words that you're saying.

And he doesn't say. anything more for the time being. I was mid casting Vine Whip, which is me magically turning my tongue into a froggy mith tongue. And I'm trying to push it back in so I could talk. I hear the commotion and hear them talking to somebody. And I'm like, oh gosh, I get the fuck up there.

I'll jump to the side of Gideon. What is your name? My name is Morning France. This is my friend, my friend Gideon. We're very new to this part of town. We're not here because of any Mavlornis. You should probably go see the king. Oh.

King Philip? Is that the correct name? Is that who's the king right now? No, I'm pretty sure. Is it Philip? Huh. What a do, fella? Isn't it Gullop the 19?

Thanks. Yeah, that was, well, yes, why, you seem to have met my compatriots. He slowly begins to turn around, and he is, he looks down at all of you. He's a fairly small bullywug in comparison to the other ones that you've seen. He has, unlike the ones that you saw on the boat, his outfit is not nearly as pristine and well-made. He's wearing dark leather pants that seem to have been clearly submerged in water too long at the hem. They are now shrunken and cut off hanging around his calves.

He wears no shoes. He's got a tattered shirt and a hat that sits atop his head. Definitely was not made for him, probably a found item. but it keeps the sun off of his face as it sits atop his head a little too big for his body. But other than that, he is, you can tell, slightly older, probably nearing human 60. Some wrinkles have formed around his eyes, but he has a jolly-looking face as he eyes all of you quizzically and a smile forms on his lips as he begins to slowly descend. Looking out at all of you, well, aren't you a rag-tag bunch?

What brings you to downfall? Well, we're simply members of a carnival. Not what he said. Definitely not here to kill anybody. He sometimes likes to joke or pretend. I guess you could call it role play that we're like a band of assassins. You know, all those edgy types,

they like to think about the thieves guilds and that they'd be a member of one. I was born a night, but not this night. Well, look, I'll live it with you. That was pretty cold-blooded. No pun intended. No pun intended. All right.

We're looking for something that a friend of all's lost. All right. And we think that one Bavlona Blightstraw may... Keep your voice down. It's going to carry on the wind. You think that maybe Bavlona Blight straw has it? It's highly possible She's got a lot of a lot of things

So If someone Were to want to take a rap So to speak You would recommend them To go to the king I would recommend anyone to go to the king Because that's what I'm supposed to do

You're supposed to make this recommendation Is it a command Or are you compelled magically? I don't want to get on the bad side of the king. How do we know if we go to the king that he won't say, we're going to play a festive game of croquet, and then I will behead you. My friend is asking if the king is dangerous. It's hard to understand him because his nose is broken.

Oh, yeah. I broke Scooby Dave's first rule. He looks between all of you for a minute, and it's very clear that he, he is he's thinking to himself how to proceed. Well, y'all clearly aren't from around here, so you probably don't know much about the soggy court or the politics that go on inside of it. Soggy court.

No, only that we can't set it on fire. Learn that one. Well, it is a bit waterlogged, so flames won't do much. Though if you are looking for fire, if you head up that path a little way to the old balloon factory, it's where this beaut was made. since that that fairy dragon escaped

with help from one of our own that place has been on fire ever since I'm sure that Duke Icrine could really use some help up that way if you happen to be in the neighborhood. That's unfortunate. Does that mean that there are no more balloons other than the one you're repairing now?

Well, it's not that there aren't anymore, it's just that there are no more in production. This one was damaged in their escape. It was the first one they tried to take. Oh. But we have it. It's just in disrepair, so I'm fixing it.

Damn fine bala-bo, by the one. And then once Duke Ikran can get the balloon factory under control, we can start producing more balloons. Say that name again? Duke. Oh, Duke. Ick-Rind. Ick-Rind. Yeah, he's...

Like the rind of ick. Yeah, he's... We're not really gentry, most of us, but the names, make the king feel more kingly. Common folk. Yeah. All of us are, we're all common born except for Cremie. He has royal, distant royal relatives on his mother's side.

What's your mother's name? I might know her. Oh, a tune you. I don't know her. I can lie, right? Yeah. Okay. Let's make it there. Just checking.

Hey, you got to check out this balloon ship really quick. It's a damn fine, cool thing. going on here? Yeah, sure if you'd like to. I mean, right now, it looks like all of the all of the contraptions are working just fine. I'm not an engineer, so I wouldn't know. But it seems to be filling up with swamp gas just fine. It's just the swamp gas is leaking out of the balloon because the balloons got holes in it. So I got my cat gut. I've got my silver needle. I just got to sew this baby up and she should be good to sail the skies. Do you mind Shon Gid how this thing work? Do you know how to fly this thing? Or you just...

I don't think anyone really knows how to fly. It's not like you can tell it where to go. It just rides the wind. You got to be one of the... You know, there are some people that are just really in tune with nature. Yeah. I'm not one of them. But they can feel the way the wind's going to go,

and they can make decisions and movements to make the balloon go where it needs to go. If you don't have that ability, then... Griko knows a lot of things. Most of the time, it's just going to take you to yawn. He knows everything there is to know about hot air. Yeah. Oh my mom always said I was full of it And Uncle Globo always said I was full of it

And Frosty said I was always full of it And cr- This continues I have a very good friend I have very friends in hard places Who taught me how to, you know, fiddle with the wind And not to fiddle like the kikata variety Well if we managed to get this working

and we're allowed to fly it, then perhaps we can call it the high wind. You'd have to ask me of Vornah, if you can fly it. I don't have permission to give you. It's not mine, it's hers. Oh, we'll have to solicit permission right away. Yeah, where's she in? And for that, you're probably going to need to see the king.

Where is the king? Well, those stepping stones over there, you're going to take those to the edge. There's going to be some rocks inside of the water. take those rocks be careful murf folk live in the water you don't want to fall in they don't eat bully wugs you're not bully wugs which means

they're probably really hungry because most of us is bully wugs don't get in the water that's all I'm saying so you're going to take those rocks you're going to jump on over that's going to actually lead you the area where if you wanted to check out the balloon building factory you could find that right there Dukeirk Ryan's

going to be in there you just go ahead and pass on past that you're going to get to a wooden bridge walkway Okay. It's a little bit grotesque. You might not want to look to the north where all of the spiked heads of the former kings of the soggy court

are now posted. You're going to walk past that and you're going to find yourself in a gazebo, which is where you will find King Golup of the 19th. A dreaded gazebo? Okay. Did I say dread?

I don't think so. No, I'm pretty sure I just said a gazebo. This is chicken. Yeah, no, it's a little tilty. A tilty? The choochee. You know, the lander's a little bit waterlogged, and you put the structure as heavy as a gazebo into just waterlogged ground.

That was a stupid choice. Then half of it's going to start sinking in, and all of a sudden it's tilty. But you know what? He loves that place, and if he's not there, he's at his palace, but... Well, how do we get to the palace? You just keep going past that. Pass the gazebo? Yeah, you have to go past the gazebo.

You eventually get to the point where they keep... all the prisoners, the jail sails. And then you're gonna have to walk through the trial by combat field. Hopefully that's cleared of all the blood. And then once you get past that, you're gonna get to the waterlogged palace. The first area is completely waterlogged,

but up past that's dry enough. Might find the king there. Waterlogged palace, yeah. So if I were to rephrase everything you'd just say, would it be accurate to say, the edge of town, you can't miss it? Well, you can kind of miss it because the whole place is a circle,

so you keep going, you're eventually going to get back to where he started. All right. You might want to be careful, though, because if you do head over by the jail cells, there is planned trial by combat at some point today because Morgow, the former Knight of Warts, was one of the people that helped that fairy dragon escape.

Well, they caught her. And so, yeah, Morgho. And so she's trapped up in one of those cells. And they're all a little skittish. any one step out of line and you're going to be locked up too because right now they don't have anyone for her to trial by combat and if they don't have an opponent

they can't do trial by combat and then we have to hold we have to hold like a trial and we don't know how to do that. I'm sure that's very fair. And on top of that, Bablorn has been holed up in her hut all day she's not responding to anything the king says

because this strange balloon showed up not like one of her balloons but kind of like one of sisters and you know, you know, Bablornah, she hates her sisters, and she's incredibly suspicious about anything that's going on with them. But this balloon showed up, instead of being powered by swamp gas with a big old balloon on it, it's got a, it's got a thunder cloud strapped to a lightning cloud. It's just floating along with this lightning cloud. Inside of it are a bunch of darklands selling a bunch of wares. They have all kinds of magical items and cool stuff

we've never seen before. Isn't that suspicious? If we have any ability to take one of these ships, I would propose that we take the one that has a cloud. We'll call that one High Wind. That's pretty, definitely do that. Yeah, we get that one, a Thundercloud? I think if you're going to get a ship from Bavlornah, you probably are more likely to get the one that makes her think it probably belongs to her sister. But even then you have to get an audience with her, and she's held up with the darkland that, who seemed to be the head of the, Three of them. Did you say get an audience

with her or get naughty with her? Well, I mean, I guess you could do both, but you want to make sure you do it after she has her bath. Oh, I don't know. 24 little hands sounds like a party. You've got six hands. You've got enough hands. Get it.

Are you okay? Okay, to summarize, the stepping stones, Murpholk in the water, there's a gazebo, King might be there. Otherwise, if we go to the castle, we're going to go through the trial-by-combat combat zone,

and that's where Morgho is. She's locked up, and they need to trial-by-combat, and find somebody. What happens if she wins? Well, she only wins if her opponent is killed. It is a trial-by-combat to the death. Oh.

So either she dies or they die. If she wins, then she's considered innocent, regardless of her crimes, and she is free to go. She gets her title. back and she gets to live her life however she wants. And she was an ally of the fairy dragon

that escaped the balloon factory. Well, I'm not quite sure what their relationship is. What I know is that the fairy dragon was locked in a cage by Bavlornah and somehow got into cahoots

with two bully wugs of the soggy core. One of them was Morgo. The other one was Wiggle Wog. Wigglewog was able to escape with the Fairidge, I know, it's a crazy story right. Oh, Wigglewog! Wigglewog was able to escape with the fairy dragon in one of the balloons. They attempted

to leave in this balloon first, but it unfortunately crashed. They then took some of the coals from Bavlornas place, threw it into the balloon factory as a diversion, grabbed a second balloon and got out of here. But to do that,

meant that Morgau had to be the one to cause the diversion she couldn't go with them. So she got caught. The coals are still blazing up the place. Classic coals. Bavlorn is really not happy about it, to be quite honest. And so Morgo, the former Knight of Warts,

has lost her title, and she's now stuck in a cage. The second he mentions Willie Wugger or whatever. I take my life. Yeah, I look at my head and I just started to shake up. May he rest in peace. Like a single tear. Morgow and Wigglewog, they were tight as can be, best friends in childhood.

Yeah, okay. If someone... That's when they kicked off the edge of the tower. I was stuck on the balloon. That's fuck. So, wait. That's my favorite moment. Was there any mention of a little...

Was there any mention of Morgon? helping out a little adorable owl bear. I have not heard anything about an al-bear. Oh. I thought they picked her up on the way. Oh, did that? You're just whispering to each other. Oh, God.

Oh, no, I thought we did this to the only talk amongst us else. Only I can do that. That's right. Oh, it is our duty to help. Are you friends with Morgot? I was friends with Morgo. If we could... You know what?

No. What were you going to say? And also, did I get this Bullywigs name? No, you didn't. Yeah, okay. What were you going to say? No, can't say it. Can't do it.

But, you know, I think you'll find others like me and others like Morgau in this place. If you look in all the right places. Wouldn't you ask all the right questions? You look like you could be... Ken, friends. You like contraptions? No, I'm picking out what he's... Um, down.

I think you're right. What do you like, friend? What are some things that you like? Don't make you say it? No, there's anything that he likes. I think he's, we got a bunch of, like, you know, items and stuff. I was trying to figure out, like, hey, do you play the,

you know, do you like playing chess with, like, bone satirs? I can only remember too much. I mean, I like, I like to read. It's not often I find a book come by one, but I like stories. I like to imagine myself in adventures and things, but I'm getting old. So I can't do as much as I used to be able to do. So it's nice to reading books about things I can't do in life.

I'm sure. Let us consult our drink. I did not run it here my down. You asked me another question. I'm conveniently ignoring it. Health chat. All right, Frost, never mind. You keep your secrets.

Frost, what did you ask him? I asked you, wow, you made my mind blank because I'm fucking up my trinkets. My fucking trinkets. You said do you around to bring up? you were about to bring something up and then you held back. What was it you were going to say? I've said all I could say. I think Cremie and I see eye to eye on this.

Kindred spirits, I believe. I'm going to make them say one more thing. I think we understand each other. But I think you'll find more like us. All right, well, what is it, some kind of like rising up against a Babylonian, some kind of like freedom fighter? I don't know what you're talking about, friend, but I would be wary about saying those kinds of.

things. So Willie Nilly out in the swan. Oh, don't say that he's like a revolutionary. Oh, no, please. Is Willie Nilly the name of one of the Bullywoods? Oh, you know Willie Nilly? No, I'm asking. Oh. I've had two near

misses today, and I'm, what's your name? My name is Uffgunk Earl of Stinkwater. That's a great name. Thank you. Mr. Stinkwater. You can just call me Ufgunk. It's a very hansk of stunk.

It's Uffgunk. The Earl of Stinkwater is just a fake title. Do you have any government relatives? I actually knew it Ufgunk. No. Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah, that family definitely had some Bullywug in them. Never mind.

I knew of Gfgunk. It was a Bishwell fellow. Look, we don't have to say any more about it, but let's just say I speak Bullywug. I actually do understand Bullywug, weirdly enough. I've never met one that speaks common, so this is kind of pleasant. But if you know Bollywug, you can't speak Bollywood.

I'm not speaking common. I'm speaking Sylvan. Oh. And you, however, however. You can understand every word that he says. Wait, you're speaking common right now. No, I'm speaking Sylvan. I mean, Sylvan, Sylvan.

Yeah. Try speaking Bullywog. What do we say? I'm speaking Bullywug. No, yeah. So. I didn't understand the Bullywog, but I mean, I don't understand the Bullywog either. In Bullywag, he was saying, I'm speaking Bullywug.

Oh, well, that makes sense. Now speak Sylvan. Now I'm speaking Sylvan. Now speak common. Do you know common? I don't know common. Oh. Oh.

And we all understand his Sylvan? Mm-hmm. Some sort of an aura magically allows us to understand Sylvan? No, I don't speak a lick of it. or he'll understand a lick of it. Honestly, don't know, couldn't say. Let me see your engineering book. Well, I was just going to say, I've been reading a lot,

so maybe I just, you know, picked it up from there. I'm going to endeavor to read the silden of the engineering book. Does it appear to be in common to me? You open it, and at first it looks like just a bunch of random markings that you don't understand, and as you go to close it, you see as they rearrange and begin to form words that you do understand. Wow, this is very complex. It confused me too, man.

You got to get past that acorn part, and then once you do, it kind of starts to make a little bit more sense. It's the reason it's like radio instructions. You should look. Look again. I'll take a look here. What will get? Yep. All masked heroin. You open it up to a page that shows a... That shows what looks like a quilter.

top, like something that could maybe be used for a balloon or to put on top of a bed, but it's some kind of quilted fabric. And it says, young Fay engineers will always find that sewing can be useful. Ask your parents how to obtain a sharp needle, but one that's not too sharp that it may pierce the skin of young engineers. I couldn't even read half of this before and now it's just all coming together. Hey, I'd say can I borrow that needle but I think it's too sharp for me. This says specifically I need a dull needle. Wait, let me see that. Well, here, man, check it out. Oh, it says to even use this book, you have to have your parents fill out of form, photocopy their ID, and email it to them. Oh, shit.

You ain't made you prison for using this book without my braids? Is there any chance you can pull that off and no? Well, I guess maybe that's a sensitive. Yeah, thanks a lot. I'm sorry. Let me see. I'm going to skip to the end. If we said some deviled eggs, maybe Paul will respond.

This is all very simple stuff. I'm just going to skip to the end and see if I can understand things, sort of doing it in reverse. The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surrounded by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentometric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marvell veins, so fitted to the ambi-fastened lunar vein shaft

that side fumbling was effectively prevented. No, I'm not going to be there. Nope, nope. It's going to get a little bit of jealous. They say how they compensate it for the heat structure. When you look back at it, you do see what he was reading and there's a note to the side. If you need an amblibratory gear shaft,

please ask your parents to procure one for you. All right. Damn and I can't do pha engineering, man. It's going to get very, very complex very quickly. Parental permission. Tell me, friend, what else can you tell us about this extremely rude cicada who seems to play? Yeah, Jeremy. Yes, yes, Jeremy.

It said that on the side of his name. It's not short for Jeremiah. I don't know who was the name he was born with, but it's the name everybody calls him because it's on the side of the fiddle. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I saw that. I'm surprised that he didn't mention it when he called this asshole. and told us to fuck off. Is that his normal modus?

The last thing he said, man, he said, oh, by the way, my name's Jeremy, fuck you. That sounds more like Jeremy. If you get him a drink, he's actually a nice guy. Oh, we're good at that. Is he the one we can hear singing right now? No, no, I think that's Edward. He's got a very lovely voice.

He does, yeah. He's been trying to court Julia after Nancy broke his heart. It's a little twisted love triangle there. And then poor Hubert. Oh, Hubert. He's just rich. Oh, you can't.

Poor Hubert. I'm pretty sure Nancy's just using Hubert to make him jealous. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, we're not, we'd rather take the bloody trial by combat than getting stuff about it. I have some ideas about the trial by combat. We can discuss on the land. I feel like we have a moral duty to help

Borgo I agree well how are we gonna help Morgo man we can't kill her that's not helping her I don't think we can allow her to win by killing you I have an idea by making it appear that I've been killed

it's not a bad idea I have mine stuff for you I have a devilish idea we could actually die and by the rules she will get her title back I'm sorry, did you just say you want to actually die so a stranger can get the title of Night of Warts? Well, he's done for rarely.

And I'll reach into my bag and I'll open it, it'll be this glowing magenta as I have the leeches that were on tour back. This doesn't have to be canon. If one of us hypes ourselves up on a witchlight, maybe we'll die and get reincarnated again. He looks over and he sees. the glowing,

the glowing pink, the magenta light. You should put that away. I would not be so quick to show people you've got witch light on you. See? Which light's worth killing for?

Especially around these parts. You guys got to think about this kind of stuff. This guy's got a head on his shoulders. I've been part of the soggy court for a long time, and the fact that I still have in my head on my shoulders

is a testament to my ability to survive. Y'all have any kind of like weekly meetup, you know, like night time get together, you know, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a bagel club or something, I mean. They probably meet up at the bridge. We're much more, we're much more into Bunko. Oh, Bunker. Oh, Bunko, boys. Roll until you just get a result. We just roll until we get a result.

Oh, yeah. My mom loves Bunko. She has like a weekly nod of it with her friends. And just because of statistics is it. just eventually happen and it's just pure chance. Yep. They call us the

Bunklewugs. Oh, that sounds very fun. And that's where you discuss Bunko. And I'm like, oh. He nods. You may find other people who are also into Bunko. They may be able to give you

stop it. No, it's right. They may be able to give you more information that I can. All right. Because like I said, I'm getting old with my head on my shoulders for a reason. And if we wanted to procure an invite to one of these Bunko nights, how would we go about doing that? You want to play Bunko?

Let me just get one second. I really don't like Red Wond, Krivi. So much to do here and you want to go play Bunko? Yes, I don't. I don't like Red Wynne. Can I make a friend, all right? Bunko. I think.

that you will naturally attract to you those with similar inclinations. All right, Bunko fans. You'll, they'll know you when they see you. And tell them that you've made a friend of the Earl of Stinkwater. Earl of Stinkwater. All right, fellow, you got it. Pleasure to meet you. He reaches out his hand and he shakes it.

Well, to keep my head on my shoulders, I got to repair this balloon before Babylon has a fit. So I'm going to get back to work. It was great meeting you, fellas. Snar smitting you. And stay out of the water, all right. That's the plan.

Okay. I mean, you need help with this. I mean, we can probably whip this together and, like, I don't know, real quick. That's all right. I like having a task on my hands. I'll have it done by the end of the night. That's why I widdle.

Oh, speaking of mermaid, look at this one thing I will have widowed. Damn. That looks like a heavy statue. Oh, I have a tasteful bollywock if you know what I mean. Would you like this? I mean. Would you like it? Yeah, kind of.

Since your vision's night, you'll be able to continue to enjoy the bullywug features. And I mean, all of your friends, all of your bunker one friends will be delighted because how could such a terrible frog eating monster be so? attractive in the form of a whittled wood. I thought they didn't eat bully wugs. Yeah, no, they don't eat ballywugs, man. They eat us. Yeah, that was the point. Are you talking about the marrow in the water?

Yeah. Yeah, no, they don't eat ballywugs. They don't like the taste. That's why you should not get in the water because they're probably pretty hungry. Well, all the way, there is a lovely trinket for you that I've heard this on tour. Well, thank you, this is very nice to make anew friend. I will cherish this to the end of my days. You're just going to have to kind of rest it against the side of your ship because it's a little top-heavy.

So if you're trying to get the stand, just ride it'll just fall forward. Yeah, I can never get the bottom smooth enough when it just topple over. Yeah. I'll try it for quite a bit. That's crassmanship. Thank you, friend. It was lovely meeting y'all. Be careful on your ladder.

Don't fall. I will do my best. Don't go sneaking up on any more bullybugs like that. Yeah. I'm going to shout of it. from way over the hairs. Oh, before we go. And he was really loud.

What are the names of all of your friends? Huh? Oh, the giant frogs. The giant frogs. Oh, this one's croak. Prok? And this one's Luke. Luke?

Yeah. Oh, I'll go to snack for you. Oh, no, it's wrong one, right back, right back. This is my other leech bag. Oh, oh, oh. And I'm trying to throw a big plump swamp leech that I've been collecting, hopefully, throughout this. adventure as a snack for the frogs.

Their tongues shoot out and they happily eat them and go back to, they're quite rotund for frogs and much larger than you would expect. And they sidled back down into a lump and you just see their eyes move, dart this way and that as they're looking for more bugs. Oh, it's so cute. See you croaking Luke. All right, well, what a do? You stay safe.

and hopefully we can help you resolve whatever ails you. You catch my meaning. I wish you the best of luck. Stay safe and keep your heads on your shoulders. Now, right, Coyles. Let's go. Sir Crookington, Luke Flyhopper, Earl of Stinkwater. Do you think then?

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Let's make our way back to Twig and see if she's done with however long she's needed to bathe Torbeck. I'm sure he's all sluffy and puffy now. And then we can have our conversation

about whether we should really be spending our time on Bunko. He looks like a poodle where she's like washed him and then taking little pink bows and he has a body. It looks like the beast

after the back. That's exactly what picture. Yeah. Or the, The white kitten from the aristocats. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's clearly not happy about it.

But you do make your way back, and you glimpse Torbeck in his freshly washed state. He's in a nice, cozy pajamas. He's got bows tied into his fur. His teeth are freshly brushed for the first time in his entire life. Wow, that smells almost entirely gone. She must have washed everything. Jesus Christ. What?

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's what you do when you wash. I don't know why you... I'm just imagining Twig cleaning Torrice butthole now. Yeah, so by it's all right in the church. Like, why? Spreading the genes. It was like a lupa.

Did he not say it? Implied it was already enough. Well, Twig, we thought we got a whole bunch of leads. Oh, that's great. Let me go ahead and just... I'm going to tuck torquick into bed, and then I'm going to close up the place, and they'll be safe. And then we can go on our adventure. And you'll have a little purse.

Yeah, my acorn. I fact, you had one of the bananas. The spike is. You ain't a banana the whole time, the whole session. Tug and catch. Super dry. I'm a little bit of my head. No, no, no.

Sorry. The corner of my eye. grew my fucking mind. Excellent. Well done. And so she quickly, she makes sure that Hootsie is nestled next to Torbeck. There's a fire

roaring in the hearth in the room. They've got a full plate of a food and drink and Torbeck is ready for should he wake up. And she makes her way out of the inn and slowly closes it up and

it returns to the little acorn satchel that she wears on her person. She looks up towards you with her giant glasses. So, the sitch. Well, we learned a lot of extremely valuable information, though I will say Kremi wants to focus his time on playing a collectible miniature game called Bunko. I love Bunko.

It's not a collectible miniature game. It's just not the time. That's not the game where you buy the little figurines and they have large heads. No, you think of a Playmobile. No, this is a Dice game. when you just wrote 3d6 and you just wait until you get some results I don't even fucking know how you play Bunko why don't know it so bad it was cold fellas come

on code for what first of all keep your fucking voices down our voices are gonna carry on the water right well second he was talking about these all these people they don't like the witch or the hag and then you know like we were sort of joking about you know they're sort of maybe not revolutionary but they're none too happy about their leadership situation. I did not pick up on that. And so obviously he's going to risk his life, but, you know, spilling the beans, hell no.

Perhaps this is why they've gone through so many kings. Oh, that's right. Also, I think the game you're thinking of is ludicrous marrow. I swear I'm thinking of Bunko, where they sell the oversized head, little body. There's a rarety to do. And you flick them and you try to take out each other's things. They come in square boxes.

It's important to keep them in the box. They're more valuable that way. I really like playing Uno. Oh, that's a good game. Yeah. Anybody can play it. That's the fun part. Oh, I don't want you.

You're talking about that thing that Neil collects. Oh, yeah. Oh. I thought it was called Funko. Thank you. No. What is it called? No, that's not called, I didn't mean. What is it called?

No, it's got no. Yeah, he said it was his retirement funds. Oh, do you mean Funko Pops? Yes, yes, that's the what I'm talking about. Oh, wow. It's all these fictional legends from stories, all sorts of entrance. Yeah. I tried to repulse off the potential theory brides by bragging about Mule's collection.

Then he called his retirement Fondy withdrew all of his 201 half J. I had some on my mantelpiece once but they broke unfortunately when I accidentally hit a stump and the inn fell over.

We're going to fix those. They were my favorite. They were my four favorite drag queens. Oh, what were they? Do you have pictures of them? No, but it was stiletta, Twinkerbell, Fee Fee Fee Nix, and Trolline. They made Bunko toys of us? Of who?

Of you? I don't know. They were fast. I don't know if they did. But they made them of my four favorite drag queens. Yeah. I mean, anyone that's willing to give them the rights to their IP, they'll fucking accept and produce toys. I mean, I won one off a guy once.

I went down to the old bog and I watched a major image of their performance at a carnival is so cool. Yeah, I think I still have it. really bizarre, like the most obscure things. Like, I got one that says Scrim in Ogerton Vasselgob. And, like... What's his scrim? Number 1,342.

What the fuck does that mean? I know. Every time I go to the shop and I see them, there aren't any that are cool. But, they had a limited edition for Bunkle Pop collection of the drag queens. I couldn't believe it. If you just tell me what they look long,

I should be able to will up something that looks a lot cooler and it's more focused on the actual characters instead of pressing the brand itself. Well, I don't know. I kind of liked them because I could say, hey, this is a Bunkopop, and people would be like, oh, I have no Bunker Pops. I have this Bunker Pop, and I'd be like, oh, I don't really care, but cool.

And then we would talk about it. Do you think there's a market for forged Bunkopops? Well. If I got really good at it? I mean, but that kind of destroys the rarity of them, you know? What if I don't tell anybody? Could you forge this Ogerton vassal god? I think I probably would have.

Yeah, but that one's like a total worthless one. Who even wants a scrim? It even says brutal blade not included. Why would you want one without that? I mean, I did speak to Neil at the wedding, and he had sold all of his bunco pops and made quite a killing in the bonds industry, apparently. Wow, really?

Yeah, he's extremely wealthiest, from what I understand. I was so distracted by him. I'm Busty. I didn't even reconnect with Neil. Does Neil have the limited edition only one made Stradonia now with bite? I believe he did, but he sold it. He sold it. To who? Some rich collector. Who can even afford it?

I don't know. Perhaps some sort of demigod or some other worldly creature. Wait, Neo's now a rich, successful collector. and when we're like Neo, you're wasting all your time and money, I'm going to go be a rock star, and you're going to have all these worthless things. Now he's super rich, and I have no gold pieces. That's my understanding. And I'm in horrible dead to a spooky fooder man. And your nose is broken.

Oh. Oh. That sounds like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. There's only a wonderful way to fix that. Take a nap and wake up on the right side of the bed. But we can't do that. right now. So we should probably go do other things. Yeah, let's continue and go to the stepping stone. Yes, just so you know, if you ever happen to see the limited edition for drag

drag queens at the night light featuring my four favorite drag queens, Pfeenix, Twinkerville, Trollina, and the other one, then can you please get it for me for my birthday? I mean, it sounds like we're on an additional quest now to find all of the fungal. I don't know how I missed it. Oh my gosh, if you saw our death roll, Oh. Makes me wish I were an alligator like you, Cremie. I'm just proposing that Bunko be the triple triad of the once upon a much life.

It'll be like that Tommy went to Hershey Park. We don't talk about that. They saw one pound talking about it was, well thing. They're one pound. It's an alibi. Well, turn to the stepping stones on the next stage of our adventure.

Okay, I'll follow along after you. You guys march ahead. To the stepping stones. We continue the stepping stones. You do. A roll of boulders, spaced two feet apart, breached the surface of the lake to form a walking path across a 40-foot-wide waterway.

So here's a thing. I hate to be an inconvenient a nuisance and a pest, but my legs can't walk over those. Gideon up. How far apart was that? That was just so damn good. I can't believe I could stumble very into it.

Gideon. Yeah, Twigsie. Uppies. Oh, that's what I was sick. Come on up here. Remember when I was, Coochie was small enough and I was strong enough to give her upies. Oh, I guess that never happened.

No, I don't. She was always really big. But I don't think about it. Imagine. Anyways. All right, we'll just don't follow it. Okay. It'll grab my Froggy Myth totem,

and it'll glow. It'll probably be an Evangelian joke, and I'll turn into a spirit froggy myth. I'm going to, one moment, I'm going to focus my mind, and I'm going to find the spell list on the being of, I'm just gonna be casting resistance on myself to add a D4 to a saving throw, should that occur. Let's just hope that the occasional winds of the Faywild

don't blow through us as they occasionally do, transforming our minds and perceptions. I feel like you are literally begging for it. No, no, that'd be just, I mean, all we have to do is walk across these very simple songs. You can't bring it a problem. Why don't you all roll a V20 for you? Oh, yeah, smell.

I'm cracking open the dice vault to get my very expensive. You guys feel that? Dwarven Forge. The winds. The winds of witch life. of witch life. That's a 20, folks. A natural 20?

Oh, also a 20. Oh, my God. Let's do it. Where did he's the other night? I got a 13. Your rolls fucking stuff in front. Yeah. Oh, my God.

So you both got 20s? I can re-roll. Yeah, you were in case. That's the bottom of the barrel. It doesn't get worse from that. Well, it was also a pretty high DC. I had no plus to the thing. I mean, you're going to roll, like, though.

The DC was 17. Yeah, but I think plus zero. What did you get? 20. Oh, half of your body goes numb. You pick which half. You pick which half. That's good, that's good.

That's good. Smart thinking is to go. I literally turn into Jeremiah, J. Frog with just on my head's off. All I have it, all I have is like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Grigo, good job. Never let anything affect the leg. Just my fight, my little dancing frog leg.

That's smart. That's the smartest thing you've ever done, Grego. Always protect the legs. Never forget leg day. That's fucking brilliant. I thought he was gonna do this way. I'm an, I'm a... 13.

What did you get? I'm sorry? 13. 13. Oh, okay, you turn into klutzy. Ah! You watch as Frost is standing there, and you see his eyes roll back in his head, but they continue to spin, and they begin to change in colors, red and white, red and white,

just like the top of the big top, as all of a sudden his head spins around and wear his nose, should be is now a clown's nose. And maneuvering in this body, you begin to see the body of someone you've seen before. This is clearly the clown that Gideon, you killed with a meatball as Clutzy stands in front of you now. Oh, no. Oh, God, it's happened again. I'm not sure who that is.

My name is Clotsey. What's your name? Wait, you could see him too? Yeah, you can. He just took, he just took him on Frosty's bottom. Is that fucking fraud, it's the fucking clown? You can't with the meatball. And I will say that this is the first time

that you've experienced a clown since entering the Faywild. The Faywild is often talked about as being, having the veil very thin between life and death. And it seems that here, the powers that the clowns had to manifest in Gideon's head are even stronger. Here, they're now even able to take form. Don't do it. That's Frost.

No, no, no, don't do it. Oh, no. No. me once with a meatball, I'm gonna enjoy this new second life that I have and I'll be here forever and ever, I'm sure. It was barely killing you, man. I throw a meatball at you from 500 yards away. You got hit, you had an allergic reaction.

No court in anywhere would have even called it mansloat. To be fair, it was not a meatball. You are also, your mouth is numb. Oh. I do interpret a jig to say that it was soy base replacement sludge. You can still. talk. You just have to be numb.

I don't know. It was impossible. Swabay, puck, but sludge. Oh, yeah, soy, scrambley, sludge. Yeah. That's right. What else? We got it from that tree game place. I thought you said it was oysters or something.

No, it was oysters like goblin or whatever, you know, which was the impossible, like fish replacement. Oh, it was like oyster replacement. As you're having this conversation. You hear in your ear. This is like totally ridiculous. Like, why is everyone being so stupid? Seriously, why are you popping around, Gricco?

You're wasting time. And who invited this clown? I hate clowns. Oh, you don't hate me. I'm clumsy. Everyone loves klutzy. I'll bet I can make you laugh. Donny can stop.

And you see where there had been twig is now a tiny little summer eladron. As she sits atop your shoulder, she's still tiny, but she is clearly very frustrated. Oh my God, your muscles are so ripply. Do you have a girlfriend? I mean, I actually have three wives. I mean, you know, in fact, no girlfriend. Are you looking for a mother?

And a husband. Well, no girlfriend, that position's quite available. We're going to have to talk. Oh, so you'll finally be able to go enjoy the nightclub on the equivalent of Fridays. Your mouth is now. Equivalent of Fridays. I love the film. Good for us.

What did you get crummy? Jesus. Now, Clipson, let me explain. You know, I'm real sorry about what Gid did, but if it makes it any better, it was just a prank, bro. Oh, it's fine. I'm back and feeling better than ever. Can you roll again for me? I'm changing.

too. I have it marked out, yeah. Would it be possible for Clutsey to hear perhaps a voice in his head? Yes. This water looks awfully treacherous. It would be a shame if someone was so klutzy to fall in and draw the attention of the beef that lurk below. I hear that?

Plusy hears that. Oh, is that you, Juckles? I thought I'd born suddenly in this instant. Oh my God, I'm trapped inside of a mind prison, inside of a clown. I can't do anything. I can feel everything that's happening to this clown. What did you get?

One. Oh. You are incredibly unlucky. All roles are at disadvantage, and so are any allies within 20 feet of you for 24 hours. I do a straight, crap,

I'm going to do a drive. What did you get, Gideon? I wrote a 20 as well, but I can re-roll. Yeah, I will have you re-roll. I'm not doing the same thing as I'm like, is you kidding. Uh, nine.

Nine. Your head is replaced with the donkey's head. You can still speak. I'm making waffles. Oh my God, what is happening to your face? Wow. What do you mean? What's happening to my face?

What are you saying? Ew. Ew. Why's the way out here? Wait a second. Am I great? No, I think perhaps vengeance has finally fallen upon you, Gideon for killing me.

You look like a real ass. See, I got you guys laughing right away. I'm trying to be like, oh, that's a good one. Now that I'm a medium-sized creature, I was tall and tall. And I fell out into the water. Just the slightest of nudges. Let them go. Let them go.

I would like to roll a dexterity saving throw at disadvantage because you're close to Kremi. Um. Guys, that's froze! Because he is falling into the water. You were leaning on him. As he does, you are potentially going to tumble into the water. I'm gonna crown inside of this idiot.

Creamy, Cremie, listen. We lost him the second he became a clown. Okay? For the frost, we know is dead. No, no, no. There's no saving them, just let him drown. We have to at least, and I'm gonna like step up

just to see what's going on and one of my shoes is untied. And I'm gonna step on it. Oh, fuck it! Perfect, yes, you do. The first one was a natural 24, 24. The second role was a nine. You lean onto Clutsey as he tumbles into the water. You immediately, the top of your body is numb,

and you immediately fall forward like half jelly. Clancy attempts to do that thing where he like jokingly pulls himself back, But it doesn't work. I go straight into the drink. The two of them fall into the water with a loud splash. Cremie, you jerk forward to see what's going on

as you slip on the wet rock and the shoe legs beneath your foot as you tumble in with a loud splash. I was literally touching him when that happened, so. It's like when you tilt one of your Super Smash characters at the end of a ledge. I would like you to roll a dexterity saving throw

at disadvantage as well. Gideon. Oh, me. I'm unlucky, I just went in. But I guess you're on level two, so I rolled a disadvantage. I wrote a three and then I rolled it two. I was like getting words. You were holding on to Cremie.

You had your hand on him as this happened. And as Cremie is tumbling and falling in, he reaches out wildly and grabs onto whatever He could find and trying to keep himself from plummeting in. But the weight of this croceter, this alligator, tumbling into the water, as well as you standing on these slimy rocks is just too much as he yanks you into the water.

No, no, no, no, no, oh! They did it! Twig, however, finally decides to use her wings and she flies up in the air and does not succumb to a watery grave. The four of, oh my God, They're so clumsy. So much drama.

They are so stupid. They are the drama. And he's not even hot anymore. I'm not going in there. I just bought this. I'm not putting in there. Do you see what? This is ridiculous.

All right. You do it. I've already got three personalities going on. This is absolutely ridiculous. This is Gucci. The three of you, land into the murky water with a splash. The water feels heavy and thick.

It is filled with soil and algae. It is slimy and you can, you breathe in a small portion of it and it is the taste of rot and decay fills your mouth as you sputter and spit it out and begin to hold your breath. You realize that you can barely see anything in front of you as you begin to sink down and down and down.

You attempt to climb. But the heaviness of this water makes it almost impossible for you to swim as you plummet to the floor. It's about 20 feet deep. As your feet sink into the silt at the bottom of this murky lake, you feel the tendrils of like pond weeds and scum as it laces around your legs and and begins to hold you in place. What are you all doing?

As we're going down, I'm desperately clawing on Ian and dragging him down, hoping that he'll save me. and then I'll remember that I can hold my breath for 15 minutes it can swim and then try to swim and then realize that as you describe the water's too heavy and then I'll really start to panic so I'm just like I'm doing clown tricks I'm just kicking my legs trying to swim but I'm just like with my front half completely out now that I'm now that I'm totally submerged, I would be like

reaching out towards Cremie. Also still is just drowning and not breathe. I can't hold my breath for 15 minutes. You are all you all sink to the bottom and even though vision is very limited here, you're close enough that

you can see each other and you eventually begin to see shapes moving around you. A shadow that passes you in the back. You whip around the side to look, but there's nothing there. Please be the mermaid from hook. As a shadow, huh?

Please be the mermaids from hook. Please be the mermaid from hook. As a shadow passes you by one more time. And eventually you begin to feel the seaweeds tighten around your bodies, not just around your legs, but around your torsos. And eventually, you feel yourself completely restricted. You've been in the water for about two minutes now. How are all of you doing with two minutes and the same?

the water. I presumably Clutsey would be drowning. Presumably, yes. But there are drowning rules based on your constitution. I don't know the drowning rules. The number of minutes equal to your con modifier, I believe. Okay, so zero minutes. Is you done? No, am I using Frostcon or am I? Yeah, no, you're using Frostcon. Oh, okay. Well, hold on. That's going to be a little more recent.

Because it's Frost Spotty. Two minutes I've got, and it's the number of my modifier is the number of minutes before I start drowning. The number of minutes equals one plus your cod mod. Okay. Minimum of 30 seconds. So I'm halfway through my oxygen. Okay. So yeah, you can, if your modifier's two, you can hold for three minutes.

You're presumably five or six, five minutes. Five minutes. And then the two of, you're 15 and you are. I can breathe. You can breathe. For two hours while I have this, this from form. Good choice. My three eyes.

are looking around and all my tentacles are wailing. I guess I have like, anyway, I got big legs and the tentacles are just like, you're still numb. Yeah. You're like the blow up balloon. Like that's the, as the ripples of the water. You feel the silence overwhelm you as it is, you're deep within the lake.

And there are all the sounds from up above have been drowned out. All you can hear are the sounds of the bubbles that are rising up out of frost body, which is now klutzy, as he is drowning in front of all of you, clearly much more affected by the lack of oxygen than the rest. As you slowly see a long, spindly green hand reach up around frost's throat, webbed fingers with elongated fingers and fingernails in a dark, murky green. as it begins to squeeze, not tight enough to cause damage, but enough to show almost a form of dominance.

As you see a face appear around the side, flowing hair of kelp and seaweed, intersparsed with bits of seashells and plant life. As you see a face that is almost completely flat. the eyes are pure black large much larger than you would expect and dangling over her head is a um is an orb of glowing pearlescent light a very similar to an angler fish and as she opens up her mouth to smile you see razor sharp teeth hundreds of them lining both the top and bottom of her mouth as she leans down and she blows a bit of of air, a bubble

forms, and slowly stretches around your head. And you feel yourself able to breathe for just a second. It's like, it is like Sonic Vagra. You've come into my walking your life.

What? Can I speak or am I? Yeah. Whoa, what is this amazing? I was about to drown. Thank you. Have you come to play? Have I come to play? I make a murfolk imitation of her out of a balloon animal.

Come with me. Come away from your friends. They would hold you back. They're not really my friends. I'm going to come right immediately. Yes. Come with me. Have you heard any great jokes?

I would love to. All right. And she begins to pull you towards her and you watch as she looks towards all of you and she smiles, a wicked smile. as she begins to, as she wraps her arm around Frost and begins to pull them away. As this happens, Frost, as the bubble around your head is giving you oxygen, you begin to feel that your sense is clear and you feel yourself slowly taking your body over

as you're pushing klutzy out. That whatever it is that causes that, that fay magic to happen, it is not affecting you as much. down here. Maybe it's the lack of oxygen. It's hard to tell. But as the moments pass, you feel yourself regaining your frostness as you once again become frost. I'm going to die if I don't take control. You are, you are now wrapped tightly in her arms as she's pulling you into the darkness. You all watch as where once had been klutzy is now frost transformed. And you all feel yourselves coming back into your own.

You, however, did roll a natural one, so it's 24 hours of luck. Can we react? Yeah, of course. So I see the marrow, you know, grabbing the throat of Clussing, still knowing that it's Frost, and I'm going to be,

and I'm going to be pointing my cane at her. And as I see her pulling him away in like a nefarious manner, and I see Clutzy shifting back in the frost, the kind of crystal skull at the end of my cane will light up, and I'll shoot Eldrous Blast at the marrow. Okay.

It will hit Frost instead. Because I'm unlucky. I'm in the attempt. In these moments, I'm still Clutsey, because Frost is just emerging, so Clutsey's turned out. You seem like someone who would enjoy this joke. Tell me if you've heard this one before. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Ow! That's so funny. No, that wasn't the joke at all. You can look me. Why? Oh, neck! And how much damage do you do to Fras? We all flow down here.

No, I don't want to. What was that? You still hear the residual laughing of chuckles in your head reverberating. It just slowly drops in pitch and then fades into that. I wouldn't have to tell Gideon he was right. Why did you do that, Chris? I suddenly have come back to my senses. You come back to your senses,

and you are now wrapped in the arms of this marrow as she's pulling you deep into the water. I need you to make a charisma saving. Throw at disadvantage. Oh, that's my favorite. My attempt will be once. I finally see Frosty and not this horrible clown, And as Frosty, I will write myself in Frog Fawn

and attempt to leap through the water to swim right at her with my mouth open, tongue out to wrap around her and chop on her. She happened. You come to you and you realize what's happening and you, at first you're overwhelmed. You jerk yourself to the side trying to swim back.

This is a lot. This is why from behind. I don't know that one. Oh, yeah, they call that the Phantom Street. Who's open there? You don't know what I mean? Sometimes you just need to romance yourself. It's going to be okay, and it's not okay.

I think that was Herbert's planned when he soles across the ball. That floats over the scene. What a bunch of fucking idiot. Exactly happens. You twist yourself to the side, trying to reach out towards your friends, as you hear her lulling voice in your ears, and your eyes catch sight of that perlescent orb dangling over her head, and you whip your head back and you stare into it, nearly hypnotized. And you feel yourself compelled to do as she says.

You're not really your friends. You said so yourself. Come with me. I will come with you. Though that wasn't exactly me if you're speaking technically. You can learn all the things you wish to learn deep beneath the sea. Yes, I wish to learn much from you and the deep sea. Ancient knowledge is lost to man.

Only found beneath the waves. That's pretty cool. Come with me, Frost. Yes. Take my hand. Yes. As a froggy myth leaves it out of the dream. I need you to roll an attack at disadvantage.

Froggy hungry. You know, oh, a disadvantage. I'm going to twist it. Mm-hmm. You need to start. Your twist will also be a disadvantage. I'm just kidding, it's not. Wait, hold on, hold on.

So my highest there, my highest there was seven plus three. No, but it's disadvantaged, so it would be your lowest, which is a natural one. Oh, yeah. It would be your twist, which is a natural one. I'm going to fall to with my three eyes. I'm going to dread that natural one, and you, you lunge forward towards her, but your bottom part of your body is still numb.

And the top part of your body is still numb, and you don't fully have control. And as you propel forward, you're kicking your hind legs, but you're still strapped down. And as you break free, you propel forward, and you slam into... Gideon, you slam into Gideon and chomp down on his large form. I've seen Cremie gesturing at Frost the whole time I'd be looking over and while he still looks like Cluxie, I just be saying,

saying, Oh, fuck. Two points of piercing damage, and you are now grappled as I've got my jaws around you and we're spinning through the water. You spin through the water and you feel yourselves, you're spinning in an opposite direction of where this creature is taking frost,

but your body slam up against something hard. God, this is awful. That's what humor was looking for. Though it is murky down here, you still can see the shadows of things. And you notice that the stepping stones that lined this walkway over the water are, they float, they don't reach all the way down.

But as you look up, you see that this one does, and it begins to move. Oh, no. It forces you to the side. You propel off into the water, slamming into Kremi. As you see this entity, this thing, begin to move forward. And then you hear, let him go, foul witch. The light on her head illuminates quickly as you

with a shriek she lets you go and she whips off into the darkness no voice stop you feel around your waist a hand clutch on to you a hand of stone and you were wrenched from the water

and placed on one of the floating stepstones no wait she chose me of all of the seamen she chose me you hear your head Followed quickly by the three of you, you feel a hand, a large hand around your waist as you're ripped from the water

and placed up on individual steps. Is it while we're tumbling through the I'll be looking at my cane and regret, feeling betrayed that I almost killed Twig and then I almost killed Frost. And I'm gonna look up. And I see a donkey head of Gideon. In the mouth of like the blades of a plane.

And then once again, I'll look at the camera and blink twice. And you are lifted out of the water and placed on stones. You see twig at the very edge as twig staring into the water. Where'd you go? As all of you land, um, topside. What happened?

A series of events. I will shift back into Crickle. It was a shrieg and war. I'll be, uh, just cresting off of me. I, I don't know how it is going. It was, there was the, the marrow thing that that frog was talking about. Were you told not to get in the water? Yeah, but I sort of tripped and then I dragged Git in and we all kind of just accident. It was all an accident.

You hear a rumbling sound and behind you, one of the stones begins to move and it begins to rise. And with time, you see that it was merely the head of a gallop dur. A large stone man, a stone entity is it rises up out of the muck, It stretches out its arms and its legs. It flexes its neck left and right, and you can hear the crunching of rock as it cracks its neck, and it looks down at you with its stone face.

Little mortals, be safer next time. And it reaches out and it slowly pats each one of your head. Very gently, but you can feel the weight of the stone as this gigantic entity stares down at you. Well, if I have my hat on, I find my hat, I'll grab it,

I'll say, thank you kindly for saving our lives there. Is this sort of your intention is to be a stepping stone onto the other side of the water? You have woken me from my slumber. I'm sorry,

but you did save us. If you hadn't, I would have been... Many, many years of rest. It is good to be awake. Oh. Oh, well. Well, you saved the four of our lives, so we definitely owe you one. How can we repay you?

Hmm. A song. Oh, wow. It has been many years since I've heard a song. I mean... Sing for a... me little mortals. I'm not much of a singer.

I'm pretty tone deaf. Do any of you know any songs? I've got a musical one. I got a new liar. Can you drop me a little beat? I mean, we're not very good on this fiddler. Can you just give me a... Well, Gideon can probably, you know, just like...

Don't you have a drum you can give a Gaird? Oh, I do have a drum. Here you go. I found it in the jungle. Ooh. Maybe just like a... 4 over 4 beats. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know anything about music. Don't get you for a me. What about just like? Why don't you clap along? You had them ammy instead of drums, man. I know I want to play it. I know a little bit of music theory. I can't sing, but strong and then weak, so bump.

Bump, like that. I can also do cats and boots if that would help. I love cats' boots. Cats and boots and cats and cats and boots. Cats and boots, cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots A little faster, cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots Okay, well don't keep feeding it out, just keep on time, one time To do, do, too, to, do, too, too, too, to, too, too, too, to, too, too, to-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-tut-too.

I remember when rock was young, me and crammed, they hate so much fun. Jump and diving and just skimming with stones. There's a big old marrow trying to end our own. But the biggest kick I ever thought was doing a thing called the crocodile rock. I mean, Alligator, oh. Oh, the kids will rock it round the clock. We were hoping it bobbed till the alligator rock. Hey, that was good.

I would like you to roll a performance check straight because it would be an advantage, but it's canceled by Crummy's disadvantage. So it'd be a performance check straight. Oh, I still have that for it. 24 hours. You're not allowed to help with anything anymore. Oh, it's just around him if he's near you.

20 feet. I should have backed up. Man, always sound a lot better if Kedian didn't break my car. nose for this adventure. I'm sorry I'm on top four. That's maintaining game state. You walked up on me

while I was on, man. Oh, no. Screwy day, and all. Oh, that'll be in 17. A 17. You notice that he is rocking back and forth. He is.

Oh, when rock was young. You notice that he's rocking back and forth the song. He seems to really enjoy it. If you're giving more time, I'll perfect the lyrics. I was kind of making it up on the spot about a time where Kremi and I would go diving and get drowned by a marrow. Young.

You'd be like five seconds ago. It's more of a met. It's more of a bitaefer. You know what I mean? Oh, boy. Young mortals have pleased me. Thank you. I will.

allow you passage. Oh. I will assist. He reaches down, he picks each of you up, and he moves you to the other side of the water. Be careful not to get in the water again. I may not be there to save you next time. And the marrow are dangerous. You encountered only one.

but in these waters there are many thank you for your saving our lives thing and for your wisdom do you have a name perhaps if I do it's a name long

forgotten oh I mean you may call me Rocky Rocky's fine that's pretty good that's a pretty cool name it's a pleasure to meet you Rocky it's a pleasure to meet you as a pleasure

to meet you as a Well, enjoy your newfound woefulness. It is time for me to rest. Are you sure? Now that you're evokey, don't you want to do fun things? I've been awake far too long. You said it was so nice to be awake. If I gifted you something that would you keep you entertained for many, many days or years,

do you think you could stay awake and enjoy everything there is to enjoy about the Faywild? No. I mean, we might need you later to chuck boulders at that hut up there. Oh, you know where to find your old pow, Rocky. Oh, all right, let's keep that in mind, fellas. Good night, new friends. Be safe, little mortals.

And you watch as he slowly starts to sidle back down into the muck. He slowly begins to submerge, and all you see is the top of his head. And if you didn't know that he was the third, rock from the left you wouldn't be able to distinguish him from any of the others third rock from the left isn't that a TV show yeah yeah yeah they're rock from the song yeah that's exactly right oh oh my name is french stewer i wish i had a career beyond oh my god speaking of french stew you're just talking about The Hercules animated series.

Oh, yeah. And French Stewart, I believe, voice Icarus. And that, didn't they? Yeah, yeah. It all comes full circle. Well, let's keep that in mind. Rocky could be a powerful ally in the future fights to come. Also, one moment.

I take my shoes off and I dump water out from my... Oh, yeah. Give me a second. My nose is bent in several directions. I've got to get swamp water out of it. Just give me a second. and I'm going to be taken away. I will remove

my little makeup case and I'll flip it open and I'll pull out the black stick of makeup. And I'll sort of just reapply my mustache that's probably totally washed away. How do I look good?

Well. Is that one straight? Yeah, you're looking pretty damn good. All right. Except for all the mucking, bro. stuff all of you. Oh yeah, I mean there we go. Has a little bit. Oh yeah. It's pretty good. You're not the same?

If you were mine, you know, I'll just kind of slick it back in my hair. There's mud mud mudges all the way back in it. It's like perfectly with you ducked back. And I'll just, I'll clean you. Oh, yeah. Fresh as a daisy. You in mind. Thank you.

Hey, how about you try not to fucking jinx us next time? We've got to walk across like crazy, mossy rocks and there's carnivorous fish people all around. I'm a field prairie confident that would have happened regardless of my words. Oh, fuck, and I look at my suit jacket and there's tons of bird shit. God damn it.

I just clean this. Fuck, I look at my other shoulder. And other unlucky things happen to me as well. I'm going to bother role-playing. That's going to just keep happening to you for these 24 hours. That's right. Frosty turns black and then continues to pace in front of you. Oh, yeah.

That's genius. Why didn't we do that? Oh, there was a ladder up against that tree. Oh, oh, shit. As you close your mirror, it cracks in it. Oh, no. Fawles, fix it.

Fix it, fix it. Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it. I've got it, I've got it. It cracks again. Oh, fuck. Damn it. No, no, no, how about tomorrow? Now, I'll fix it for you tomorrow.

Oh. That was horrifying. I was in my own self, and then all of a sudden all my friends were gone, and I was here all by my lonesome looking down into the water, wishing I wasn't alone. I'm sure it was very scary. I thought you were dead. Well, I can imagine why. It was a close one.

We almost, I almost died a clown, and then I almost died a Damaxie. but this is part of Don't do that again okay Well it's part of being an adventurer Yes It's part of being an adventurer Though I will add the transformations Where you suddenly think and perceive things very differently

That's an added layer of challenge What does that keep happening? I haven't never experienced anything like that before Really? Yep Well I always thought it was a feature of the Fay Wild And that sort of happened to all creatures here But it just keeps happening to us out of it Seems to be an us thing

Well, maybe you got a higher tolerance because it kind of happened to you when you licked that frog and you went all crazy. I love licking frogs. It's one of the best things you can do with your free time. Speaking of witch, and she reaches down and grabs the frog. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Really beautiful cerulean blue, and as she licks it, it turns green. Whoa! That's a good one. Oh, God. It's our Twitter. Who else but twig? Get back up here.

You're not going to be walking for at least 24 hours. You was so weird with your emerald head. Yeah. Well, I turned to do a donkey. I'm glad your face is back. Yeah, I don't know. It felt kind of weird, and I had this impossible hankering for waffles. It was, like, so super strange that I was, like, hitting on you and stuff, huh?

You didn't like it? No, I thought it was really great. Okay, cool. I mean, whatever's weird. Yeah, well, I mean, I guess when I look like a donkey, it's pretty weird. But you don't have a girlfriend or anything? No, I don't have a girlfriend. Okay.

You know, there's been a couple wives, but... Yeah, okay. I don't have a girlfriend either or boyfriend. And up until you guys didn't have friends, period. Yeah, now, we're all lads. We're all bachelors. We don't settle down until we were, like, contractually obligated by a gross old sater. Yeah.

Well, I was kind of contractually obligated by Cremie. Oh, that's true. Because he forced a contract. That's true. But I got out of it, so I'm very grateful that you got, you know. It's just a prank, bro, you know? It's just sort of like, it's all ironic, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Like, especially when I was hitting on you and stuff. Like, that was just a joke unless. I mean, so where are we gonna go now? Well, we've made it past the stones and the rocks and the Murpho. So we are actually... Is it hot in here? Oh, that's just because he's riding on me and I'm made a fire. Oh, okay.

He's got a fritie blood. That's what that is. Do you know, sorry, I'll try and cool off that shoulder. Oh, I guess it's a frita. Excuse me. I have done a lot of learning about your culture. Efrita blood on account of the fact that it was his mother on his mother's side. It was his mom on his mom's side.

Yes. Wow. So I have learned, do you know how long it took me to be able to pronounce that correctly? Two days? Three years. Yeah. I was surprised you didn't say Mott her again. Yeah.

Oh, no, man. Yeah. That's my mom. Why wasn't going to waste a time to say Mutt, but, M-U-M-N-U-M-N instead of me mom. Yeah, M-U-M. Wait, ma-on. It's not pronounced M-Hur? No, no.

If you only ever read it? Have you only ever read the word? Yeah? Yes, it's actually a thus, instead of a t'er. It's a mother, is how you pronounce that word. Oh, it's kind of like moth. Mother. That's exactly how I think of it.

Duh. Twig, you're so dumb. You're all right, Twig. Thanks. So were we going to go? Yes, we're heading to the balloon factory. It should be just around this. Oh, it's a hot air balloon factory and it's on fire.

I'm presumed me We can't mess that Don't get so excited It's burning to the ground I got really excited And you let all the air out of my balloon And you know what I think when we arrived

The air is going to be even harder All right Here we go To the fire factory And you begin to make your way Through the thicket of trees Until you eventually see In front of you

what appears to be a burning building. Looming above a ramshackled wooden pier is a balloon anchored, wow, that's a damaged balloon. Why am I reading that? This wooden structure stands on stilts above the lake. It is topped by a steep conical roof made of thatch. Smoke curls up from a hole at its apex. Its windows are blacked out and the air carries the smell of burned wood. A clothes line attached to one corner of the building's exteriors

hung with a variety of frayed patchwork garments. You make your way up to it. You guys are planning to enter. You make your way up to it. As you enter, this room is a charred mess. Hazy smoke hangs over scattered piles of burned and broken shelves intermixed with whatever those shelves contained. Whips of smoke snake into the air from several spots where smoldering wreckage threatens to ignite. A distressed bullywug and a leather smock scurries around the room with a bucket of water,

whose content spill out over the sides in his haste. As you step in, he immediately looks towards you. Panicking, he points over to a corner of the room where you see a bench with six buckets just filled with murky swamp water. Grab a bucket. We have to make sure the fires are out. And that's where we'll end the session.

Oh, more Bollywags. I love Bollywogs. Me too. Especially when we finally meet. Bully Wigg. And Billy Wig. It's never happening. It's going to happen.

It's happening. We should have a memorial service for Billy Wigs. Willie Wally Wally Wallywale. Ragdog, ragdolman made me kill a cutty. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventra's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Hire

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