Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 30 | Phantom of the Hoppera
Episode Date: July 11, 2024After coming face to face with Bavlorna Blightstraw the Krew dons costumes and performs an operatic spectacle all in hopes of saving a captured knight... Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shrou...d Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/5n88Bx1WeH8?si=XXqdyiAv0LPCJema
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Legends of Aventress.
I'm Twig, and you're listening to What's the Pod of Witchlight?
Here's what happened last time.
Unless the entirety of the soggy cork could be swayed in my favor, I don't see away.
Welcome to Bobble and Charles.
Shining in beautiful, um, opalescent colors is a pure unicorns horn.
You are easily able to make your way into the basket and make the swap if you so choose.
I've loved doing business.
with all of you and now bubble and charms is closed.
Pleasure doing business with you, I guess.
Was it?
Was it?
And as you reach forward and touch the horn,
it vibrates in your hand,
this strumming of magic and power.
You are looking through the eyes of a child,
the eyes of a young boy, and you find yourself back
and hither with your friends holding onto this unicorn horn,
wondering what this vision is.
The tour bag doesn't like this.
Does that mean that they're closer to finding us?
I saw he was a boy and he was an adolescent and then he was an adult.
It's going to come a time, we're all going to have to face him, and he's going to be coming for you,
but you won't have to stand against him alone, right?
We're going to do it together, and we're going to see it coming.
Getting it's going to punch him so hard in the body, he's going to laugh until he dies.
Yeah, he's probably going to shit his pants first.
As you make your way up the stairwell towards the castle itself, the idea of an opera, a play,
and the promise of some kind of cook-off.
New competition called Electrum Chef has really piqued the interest.
There is a large dais.
Topit sits Kinggo the 19th,
and sitting next to him is a creature
that looks like it comes from your very nightmares.
You are gazing upon that Flourna Lightstraw.
Smash got two more ago.
I'm so hungry.
Once upon a time,
in Prismere
you all went shopping
you now find yourselves
in the soggy castle
you have made your way
down the main
thoroughfare towards
that's a wrong word fuck this I don't care
you're now staying in front of
Babylona
what do you want to do
oh that's right
no you you are standing here
looking out over over the
the inside of the castle, the soggy court.
And it is beautiful.
The pale stones are gilded in gold.
The candles are held aloft in the air by the flitting wings of fireflies.
All around you are members of the soggy court that are garbed in beautiful rococo dress,
elaborate velvet coats, beautiful,
beautiful gowns, embroidered, covered in lace and ruffles, hair piled high atop their heads,
all clearly wigs, but beautiful nonetheless. The smells of flowers are as almost overwhelming,
sense of flowers that you have never smelled before, clearly the flora of the Faywild.
And at the very end of this long pathway through the ballroom, you see that there are two
people seated in front of you. Clearly in the throne is King Gollup the 19th. He looks down at you
fondly. At his feet is an alligator that you recognize, a baby alligator snoodle, who is
dressed in similar attire to the king, a beautiful, beautiful pale cream-colored outfit that is
trimmed in gold. He has shoes on his feet with a large
gold buckle and piled atop his head is a powdered white wig and snoodle is dressed similarly
though his wig is a skew on his head and he's clearly chewing on the parts of it that have
made their way towards his mouth and sitting next to him on the left-hand side atop not a
chair but a lily pad is a frail woman she is
She is plump with bulging eyes that can't seem to focus on one spot.
But as you look closer, you realize it's not for, it's intentional.
She is looking about the room in varying directions, using the mobility of her eyes to be able to scan places all across the room all at once.
and what looks unintentional is actually clearly calculated
as she watches and sees everything that happens in this room.
Her skin is dry and cracked.
Her mouth is clearly very, very large.
And as you take her in, her frogish stature,
you can clearly see that there is something
about her that is almost snake-like in the way that she moves her jaw, almost as if it unhinges,
and she's able to lick her lips as she stares out over the soggy court. She makes eye contact
with you individually. One I hear, one I there, when I hear, one I there. She doesn't linger
too long, almost as if she's not all that interested in any of you. You're not on her radar.
she scans the room clearly looking for something.
And you see behind her two heads poke out,
entities that some of you have seen before, her lornelings,
two of them clearly standing guard, protecting their mistress.
As King Gullop calls you forward,
he stands up and announces to the entire court
that his guests of honor have arrived,
and the sea of people parts as the music,
comes to a halt. All the lords and ladies take a bow and they begin to chatter and look
around as they stare at you. He calls out to someone to the sidelines and you see a
bully wug in red attire clearly one of the trumpeteers as he makes his way over and
the king whispers in his ear he almost panics a little bit and rushes around
the side bleats a little bit on his trumpet and the music begins again. The lords and
ladies look slightly confused as they look around and the king motions for them to
begin dancing again and that pathway to Babylon and the king is closed to you as
the lords and ladies begin to dance and then you hear, um, hey, hey, names Billy and
you notice it is that same trumpeteer.
No.
You're not dressed appropriately for a ball.
So we're gonna need to fix that.
You got anything you could wear?
Oh, Billy.
You think I'm on the dress?
I'm wearing a fucking tuxedo.
Billy, by the way, Billy Wug.
Oh, Waddo.
Cremely-Ling, and your name is Billy Wug?
No, I think he said, Bill E. Wug.
Oh.
Bill, maybe William Eustis Wug.
Yeah, you gotta catch all of the.
you know, every piece of it.
Is it Billy or Bill E?
Billy.
It's Billy.
Oh, well, I fucked that up.
And you're a Bullywood.
Yeah.
And your name's Billy Wood.
Yeah.
All right.
Mm-hmm.
This is Doreback's nicest code.
Maybe we should take you upstairs and see what we've got,
but you guys are gonna perform soon.
Oh, performance?
Oh, man.
I didn't think to ask the king if we, if I should,
take you to get dressed for the ball
or take you to get dressed for the performance.
I can't interrupt him again.
I think we would like to mingle a little bit,
you're not allowed to be in here dressed like that.
Well, why don't we go get dressed, then mingle,
then maybe eat a little bit, and then they-
You know what, I'll take you upstairs,
and I'll ask one of the other guards to ask the king
if you come back after you're dressed,
or if you go to the, I'll take you upstairs.
And he looks around and you notice some of the guards,
guards watching him. He's clearly, he's clearly the equivalent of a bullywag 15, 16 year old boy.
This is his first gig. He's a trumpeteer at the palace. He's very, very uncomfortable.
But he very quickly moves, moves you along the edges of the room. And you do notice that some of the
bully wugs in the soggy court, their eyes continue to remain on you as you're moving around.
And you do hear snippets of whispers, talks of, how could you?
Could they possibly show up to something like this, looking like that?
That's atrocious.
Can you believe the king is fraternizing with people like them?
Oh, they were knighted, you know.
No, you don't say.
They're members of the court?
No, it's horrible.
It's very clear that the snobbishness in this place knows no bounds,
and you're clearly not dressed for this kind of event.
But you are quickly able to slide through a side door, make your way up a winding staircase.
Until you find your way down a long hallway, it is lined with paintings of every single king of the soggy court.
Hundreds of photos.
Paintings.
Fuck.
Hundreds of paintings of Bullywungky kings and queens.
Until you are led into a large or neat room of blazing fire in the corner.
two large wardrobe
against the side.
Yeah, so
I guess look through the wardrobe
and see what you can find.
I'm going to pop out
and I'm going to see if
I can figure out what
happens next.
But you guys are, you're
ready, right?
Like if the king asks,
because at any moment he could snap his fingers
and it's time for the performance.
So you're ready.
You don't need anything?
Well, we would log to at least discuss props and stage settings and costumes, at the very least.
If there's a costume director?
No.
Oh.
But in the Opera House, though, there is tons of stuff.
Oh.
I'm talking costumes galore, hand-painted props, all kinds of cool stuff.
So we could get you down there at some point.
get you down there at some point.
Yeah, that would be...
We just like to survey what's available
just so, you know...
I've already got the old opera
up in here, you know what I mean?
I'm gonna leave you guys to get ready.
And then...
I think I'm gonna...
We'll see. We'll see what the king wants.
You're doing great, Billy.
I'm really nervous. The king's
never talked to me before one and one.
I mean, to be fair, the last time was in the room
with the king, it was a different kid.
But the king has never talked to me
even once.
Well, I mean, this is your first trumpet gig?
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, this is your first trumpet gig.
How old are you?
Like, 15.
That's incredible.
My first gig was for the mayor's nephew's bog mitzvah.
So the fact that you're at the soggy castle is like, that's big.
You're stoned off a lot greater than I ever did.
So just keep blowing that mean piece of brass.
Thanks.
My mom's really proud of me.
She should be.
She should be, Billy.
She is.
You're doing great.
And when I get home tonight and I tell her that the king talked to me directly and I followed
his orders and nothing went wrong and so I kept my life, she's going to be so happy.
Before you do any of that, just do us a favor and don't wear a red shirt.
Oh, do you mean like this red tunic going to wear me now?
Definitely take that off right now.
I'd get in a lot of trouble if I did that.
Uh-oh.
No, too late told me.
Once they got the red shirt on, there's no change in the film.
No, but seriously, I'm gonna be fine.
I can play three notes on this trumpet.
Uh-huh.
So.
Well, we're doing great.
We'll be here planning our propaganda.
I mean, I mean opera.
Well, it was really nice to meet you guys.
It was nice to meet you, Billy.
Yeah, me, you Billy.
And he slowly starts to back out of the room.
You know, if you need anything at all, just let me know.
How about a bunch of food and some drinks?
Oh, I'll try.
Well, so it's that anything at all?
Can't do anything.
All right, bye, guys.
Take him on, Billy.
You do great, bye, yeah.
Keep it up.
Torbeck has a terrible sinking feeling, and he can't put his finger on wine.
Anyway, we should prepare for this show.
It's possible that it's because we have to prepare for the show.
We have to perform again.
That has to be it.
How did we get rubbed in this?
I don't remember, but I do remember that we had it.
And the grand consumer musician that I am,
I have written a grand opera that will also serve as proper aganda.
Oh, thank goodness.
What would we do without you?
Propaganda?
Yeah, but it rhymes with opera.
Oh, that's actually one clever.
Thank you.
What kind of.
propaganda. So what we need to do is put on a chivalric romance story that stars Morgow because we
kind of mucked up the whole, you know, trial by combat situation. So if we told a grand
story of Morgau, the knot of what, and it is very epic and romantic and very nice, they will,
the people would demand that Morgot be released.
And so it would be, it would behove the king to release her
otherwise he'd get beheaded.
I don't know.
That's also not a bad idea.
You think we're going to sway this whole kingdom of people
just with an opera you whipped up in a couple of minutes?
Yes.
I love it.
It's just going to be a drama, a comedy, a parody.
Grico, can you roll
a dexterity saving throw?
Oh.
A live grenade gets thrown
to the room.
Seven.
Perfect.
If Angela would allow.
You are having this conversation
and you are able to pull out
parchment with some
written word, the beginnings
if not most of a script.
And you are
talking about your plan. You're all
huddled together, very excited.
as all of a sudden you feel a large,
or you feel a heavy thwack
against the back of your head,
taking one point of bludgeoning damage
as a small hand cannon
slams into the back of your head.
And in the next moment or so,
you are covered in different pieces of clothing.
You all turn to look at the direction
that all of this is coming from
and you see the doors to one of the wardrobes open.
and you barely see the top of a toadstool hat
as twig is pulling things out of the wardrobe,
tossing it this way and that,
you look there!
And she quickly jumps out of the pile of clothes she's created,
and she is wearing the equivalent of a masquerade outfit,
a beautiful Rococo dress,
but themed to be a pirate captain,
with a curly,
white powdered wig and a beautiful
tri-corner hat.
She is cinched into
a corset. She has two
big pistols on her hip, and as she
pulls them off and shoots them, they say bang, bang.
It's very clear
that the hand cannon that she threw
that was tossed
was an accident
as it was attached to another piece
of garb as it went flying and hit Grico
in the back of the head. She
notices it on the floor next to him.
Oh, that's mine! That's mine!
Um, is, should, is this like sort of like a theme party?
Are we just trying to fit in?
I don't think so, but this is what they gave us.
And so I'm really excited.
I've never been to a muskrette partner before.
So let's do it.
And she holds up her little mask.
Oh.
Well, Twigsie, you're kind of generally fashionable.
You got anything in there?
You think would look good on us?
Yes.
Um, well, I could find things if you want,
At least while you're talking about all this boring stuff, I could look for your outfits for you if you want me to.
That would be most appreciated.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We clearly don't know what we're doing.
I need you all too old T-100s, please.
I lock vests and I don't lock shoes very much, if I can request.
Probably not.
Tor-McDenna 36.
Nice.
What?
Nine to seven.
Damn.
Wait, you got a 97?
I got a 9-7.
I got an idea.
Oh, cram it!
We get the match!
We're wearing one of those donkey-appins.
This is unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Are you kidding me right now?
I was thinking like a couple's, I mean, like a couple of guys' costumes.
Yeah.
Sometimes you guys tell the story.
It just makes sense.
I don't know what kind of masquerade outfit is a, you know, like a duo effort, but obviously we found it here.
I don't know.
What about like a sudden moon theme?
I mean, I guess we're seeing what a twig comes up?
That's pretty good.
I mean, you know, flame and shadow,
I think it goes without frame.
You get you, you want a couple's costume?
Twix, got it.
You know, a couple of fellas.
Yeah, just a couple of guys' costumes.
Okay, couple of guys.
Like you're in the line,
couple of sandwiches.
Gonna find that costume for you.
Yeah.
Okay, what is, what kind of, just give me a ballpark.
I got a 69, which is a number that people reference
often.
It's like $10,000.
Okay, okay.
So you're wanting something to
little sensual, a little like flirty.
Maybe like, green, but...
Maybe some assless chaps?
No, no, no, no, no.
I wanted to convey the wealth that everyone else is attempting to convey here.
I would like it to be in the style so that I blend in, to fit in.
The elaborate floral pattern, it's lace, the breeches and the stockings that I saw,
those little shoes with the...
The buckles.
Right, yes.
Yeah.
The, um...
Very hygienic.
A cape, perhaps?
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
I've actually heard that Sharon's showing your bare ass is how the elite established dominance.
I've revisited that assless chaps thing.
They are a bunch of perverts.
Yeah, I mean...
Okay.
One of the wigs, I think, for me.
Yeah, okay, for sure.
Yeah, right, all right.
Uh, go?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Uh, well, I got a 54.
Okay.
You know, I like to keep a little bit of cash, you know, a little cash.
Oh, so you want to be Mr. Moneybags.
Well, the cash.
It's very good.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Mr. Moneybags.
If whatever you recommend, I will wear because I am not known for my style outsider
performing on stage or in general.
Yeah.
All right.
Mr. Moneybags.
sensual, a couple of dudes, coupling together.
Yeah.
Oh, it's some ostrich feathers for me.
Torbeck.
Torbeck got 36, and because Torbank normally lives in a dumpster,
he's not very particular.
Okay.
I mean, look at what Torbeck is currently wearing.
This is horrific.
So you kind of want, like, trash.
in the runway.
I, well, Torbeck is probably gonna think that people will just mistake Torbeck for actual trash.
Okay, so we're gonna do, okay.
Well, if you just wear trash, you can just say you're a modern art.
Torbeck knows how much you hate modern art, Ricko.
I mean, he's all fancy people. They probably think it's really deep.
Torback doesn't want to get kicked out.
An esoteric.
Did you hear all of those people and the things they were saying?
It's like high school all over again.
It took almost everything I had not to mage hand one of their wings off their head when they were talking about it.
Yeah, these people are coming.
Yeah, that was not really nice at all.
My nicest shirt that has holes in it.
Yeah, I know.
And the thing is, it's not like we're expected to be here or anything.
we were to force into this.
What if you're dressing in something
kind of like derelict? You know what I'm saying?
Oh!
What?
It's sort of like trash, but cash.
Dereliction.
Derelict.
Like, imagine some trash bags sewn together
with like, you know, McDonald's.
What's the McDonald's?
What?
What?
What?
Huh?
Is there anything, like,
furs in there that he could wear?
Perhaps that would
complement his existing
fringness.
But the problem is
any time it gets even
a little bit warm
and start sweating it stinks.
That'll mask
to the stink that he has.
Torbeck's used to it.
Tourbeck sweats a lot,
you know?
Don't you guys?
I mean like a lot,
like all your clothes
are always moist.
You know, that's totally
normal.
It's like when you take
your displace
or beast to displace your beast park and you come back and you're like, God, you...
Oh.
It's pretty funny.
Just all the time?
I think I'd like to...
I'd like to take back my request for no shoes.
This shag carpeting is very sorry.
What shod carpeting?
It's getting in my toes.
Yes.
It's very damn no a carpet could be that.
And as you walk around, you realize the shag carpeting is only under your feet.
The rest of it is a nice stone flooring.
Oh.
that's weirdly placed
it's just a patch
it's like the sins
and you're just just
beating crazy with it
there's a single patch and sat card
could be a special spot man
that might not be shankarvin at all
I'm gonna go ahead
and look for your outfits
while you guys figure out what you're gonna do
about this show
oh oh oh
can I be in it
oh I'll have a special
row just for you twig
I've never been in a show before.
I'm not really the actress type.
Can you sing?
And is it good?
Or two different questions, right?
Well, my sense is that they've never seen in opera before.
So I feel like anything we give them will be...
Yeah.
It's like, you know, Pearl Swan, that whole thing.
I have horrifying stage fright.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, good for you is Gideon has a special...
magical elixir that eliminates stagefront.
So you can just down this magic potion
and it immediately cure stagefront.
A real? Yes.
Gideon, do you have one to those?
I got it right here, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
oh, after we get the infants.
Yeah.
No, I think, well, before the stage front.
And it's time to kick in, fellas.
Even at her size, I mean, you know.
Gideon.
What?
You're like 10 times of body mass.
At least.
Like, take 20.
Is it going to pours in me?
Torbeck, are you getting a lot of pores at me?
Torbeck's had this exactly.
He's not tell her.
Torbeck was actually going to ask Gideon
if he had a bottle three times
the size of that, based on the way
Guy's night went before.
Torbeck's pretty worried
and will probably also need the anti-stage fry juice.
I think we'll all need it a little bit.
I don't know how I'm going to be singing in an opera.
Oh.
Are you a good singer, Frost?
No, no, no, no.
Oh, Frosty, I wrote you as the leading role.
You and Hootsie.
Are the leads?
Am I going to be playing Morgo?
No, that's ridiculous.
Hootsey's the star.
She's Morgue.
You're going to be Wigglewog.
That was obvious, man.
It was always going to be Hootsie.
Whose?
His twig's going to play.
Twigs me, by the way.
You're going to bring an air of tragedy to this.
this romantic, chivalric romance.
Oh.
Yeah, so you need to basically really sell the sadness,
and you've been murdered in a well.
I've been murdered in a way?
A well.
Oh.
Yeah, you're going to be a Willow.
You're going to be Willa, the Willow West that we met earlier.
You weren't there.
Were you?
No, you weren't there.
No, we met Willa.
So you're Willa.
And we're all going to be, we're going to be supporting you,
but you're the lead in that scene.
It's going to be tough.
you Twigsie because you're so dang positive but you're gonna have to try and be a
little down a little down the well you know what I mean kid yeah nobody else listen okay
okay okay yeah yeah you guys are listening right wow okay cool ah hey hey I can't hear
okay here all right just plug your ears and warm a lack yeah what's up Twigsie do I have to
die to play a little west
With Grico, you can never really tell what he's gonna do.
I mean, it's possible he kills you somehow.
Will you be able to bring me back if I die?
Yeah, I won't let him kill you all the way.
Just only most of the way.
It's probably just prop death, you know, just like a little bit.
You remember when Kremi killed you kind of?
Yeah.
Yeah, and Max, it's like that.
Like he's gonna be, but just this time, if you're on the brink of death,
try not to you know flail out in all directions
and kill so much of the crowd
oh no I was gonna
she pulls out her wine
I was gonna put this way so I couldn't hurt anybody with it
that's what I wanted to ask
because my instinct when I'm
like something happens to me you know
is it just
I know I'm really scared
and so I just wanted to make sure
I didn't kill Grickle accidentally
if he killed me first
that's the problem right is everything up to this
I have to be a consummate, is that what you call it?
A consummate actress?
And I have to make sure that if I'm actually dying, I really bring the drama.
I'm no too good with words.
I usually go to Grico for the main ins, but I get so confused because I'm starting to think he's no too good with words either.
Thanks for having this side conversation with me, where they couldn't hear anything we're saying,
because I was feeling really nervous about them knowing I was really nervous about dying for real.
You're going to take a little bit of sip of this.
You're going to forget all your nerves are just going to melt away in the warm embrace of whatever is in here.
And I think it's totally fine that you use that one.
We don't even know what it does yet.
I think you just pointed around and you flail it all about.
What could possibly go wrong?
Just not at the audience.
Well, I mean, just in the off chance that it's like, you know, when I had a battle,
chuckles and he kind of pointed with a toy gun.
When he called you the bitch.
Oh, okay.
All right.
You hear me.
It's all good.
It's all good.
No, I don't even remember that a little bit.
Oh, did he?
Did he?
No, I mean, but, you know, when he pointed that stupid cheat gun,
I had to duck out of the way so fast with my expertise.
And he just, like, evaporated half the stadium.
You know, I mean, just in the event it's something like that,
you know, just be on the lookout.
Before I let them listen again, wait,
Do you me one more favorite again?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I'll do you this.
All right, even the last time I lost everything that made me make me make you.
I'll see.
We'll see what the cost is this time.
But, yeah.
Go ahead, Twigsie.
For you, go ahead.
If I really die for real, like if I believe in my role and I go,
will you tell everyone I love them?
I will, Twigsie.
We would never let that happen.
Okay.
I don't want them to know feel that way right now.
because I got to keep up my hard, tough, and exterior.
Yeah, you're doing pretty good about getting in the role of, you know, a depressing child.
So, I don't know if it goes that way.
I'm really starting to get there.
If it goes that way, I don't think it will.
But like I said, I mean, Grigo's kind of a little unhinged.
So I know what he's going to do.
I know.
But at least it's not Torbek when Torbek goes, uh-oh.
Oh.
Yeah, we can't let that happen.
I know.
You got to figure out what
that trigger is,
you know what I mean?
Oh,
you guys can listen
again, by the way.
Yeah.
Everything.
What?
No,
I mean,
I heard everything.
It's very intrusive of you.
You know,
we told you to just not listen in,
okay?
That was a touching moment.
Now I'm embarrassed,
all right?
You know me too.
Privacy is a common decency,
cross.
They're standing five minutes,
five feet away.
It's very difficult to...
What are you talking about?
Two feet away.
Three feet down,
at least.
Yeah.
Square,
grid we're standing on.
I mean, it doesn't matter
if you were standing
right in between us
and I was speaking
in my normal volume,
I thought you were ear cuffing,
you know?
I'll fight you in a
perfect square.
Griego!
So part has
broken
and two.
Here we're going.
Here we go.
Hey.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry,
everybody.
Can we listen now?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're good, man.
Welcome back to the conversation.
Man, I'm just getting into the good part.
Okay, so can I have some of that drink now?
Oh, well, how do you guys feel about it?
I don't want to create like a situation around here.
Well, hold on.
Do you mind if I give just one director's note
when we get to doing the play?
To me?
Yeah, do you?
Yeah.
Just, you know, once you get into it,
just no war crimes, all right?
Just the note don't explode on anybody's head,
and we should be fine.
We covered that.
We covered that in the sidebar.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
Tort of trial.
They did.
They did.
She was at it.
Yeah.
Well, did you specifically specify, head exploding?
Hey, did I specifically specify?
What?
Huh?
What?
Cremie didn't listen to a conversation.
He's trustworthy.
I know.
Yeah, I've always trusted Cremie.
He's a good guy.
Frost can't be trust.
Yeah, no, Frost you can't trust at all.
Yeah, no, he's real, like, you know.
Remember that time he went into the mud?
Were you there for that?
No.
Oh, yeah.
I think he was like, well, actually, Creming was.
trying to drown.
It's the point of those times
his knees got all locked together
and started screaming
my fucking legs.
I mean,
it's the only thing
you can trust about that,
guys.
You can't get anything done
with them.
I'm fusing the legs together.
You can trust me.
I don't know what's going on
with the legs.
It's okay, Frosty.
You don't need your legs
with your brain.
Your legs are morphological.
This is foreshadowing.
That's not.
We're going to get a floating
chair.
I can just get a fucking yellow floating shit.
I'd be so happy.
Isn't it a little?
The King of Yellow.
The next film movie ends with James Baccavoy.
Doesn't it's screaming, my fucking legs.
Alright.
You pass.
Frost now.
Frost goes totally hairless.
So can I have that drink now so I can get out of your hair and let you talk about your thing?
Oh yeah, I'm cool with it.
Oh, just don't just don't explode any heads, alright?
Crumman made me promise to specify.
Thank you, Guy.
Thank you.
Oh.
Here's your song.
This.
Do I get to make up the melody on my own?
Yes.
I would like a little bit of artistic license, please.
You can have that.
Like I said, I think we are casting some pearls before Swinay.
Casting your pearls before Swinay.
Exactly right.
How do you fuck that one?
Let me, can I just take a look at those two proper 10th-level spells you got on your belt there?
I'm sorry, what?
take a look at those prop 10th level spells you got on your belt there.
Are you talking about bang and boom?
Boom, bang, bang.
Oh my god.
Can I just see them really quick, just to make sure.
Can you answer my question first?
Yeah, I'm talking about bang, bang.
Yes, I knew what that's what I wanted to do.
And she hands up to you.
My Twigsie shot me down.
Bang, bang.
Okay, now leave me alone.
I got a lot of work to do.
All right, you do your thing, Tweezy.
Twigsie, just remember
I know you might be scared
but you don't need courage
because you have those.
Who needs courage when you have a gun?
Yeah, but that's what my mama wasted.
As you were the very wise,
Bradley, that's smart lady.
Smart lady.
Where can Torbeck get a gun?
Torbeck got a gun.
Oh, that's a good one.
I'm a raw done.
Everyone's so musical.
And Twig makes her way over to the wardrobes.
You see both the doors are open now as she's rummaging through them trying to find the proper attire.
Didion, are you sure that she should have alcohol?
Is she going to roger rabbit out and just go fucking crazy?
She's a brownie.
We don't know.
I mean, man, she spent half the campaign licking toads and getting high.
I think she's got probably a pretty heavy tolerance.
That's a hallucinogenic toad sweat.
That's totally different than alcohol.
I don't know the ratios, man.
One to one.
Could be one to one.
Could be a little offset.
I mean, I don't know.
You know, I hit it plenty.
Torbex added by the gallon, you know?
Well, yeah, we're all incapable of drinking alcohol.
I just don't know about brownies, that's all.
Listen, man, ain't nothing wrong with giving her a little bit of something to wet the whistle to give her some of that courage.
You know, it's not just all in the prop gun.
It just seems like a strange time to do it before she prepares what we need to wear in order to look good at a extremely
sensitive situation in front of a hag
and also about to perform
an opera
wow I don't really love to think about it like that
I mean to be honest with you I didn't really think about it
too much at all she just asked for and I ended it over
like any good host
all right well
we'll see what happens
are we doing election chef before or after the play
oh a lechrum chef too
yeah there's a lot of
performing we gotta do
I thought kind of the
I'm just gonna say like we're
We're gonna have to cook things and be judged for the things that we cook.
Is that the idea?
You know, it wasn't very clear, but, I mean, that was the impression that I got.
Yes, Torbeck.
Do they have a full-body hair now?
That's pretty fucking smart.
Torbeck's not really allowed in kitchen.
We just need to get you a fishnet body suit.
Oh, man.
Can you picture it?
Because my eyes are starting to bleed.
How is the big old, like, garbage bag?
Just the whole thing.
Well, listen, I thought the whole point was just,
Crami over here is the only one doing the chef.
And we're just trying to build it.
We're trying to work up the audience
to give him a good, like, you know, benefit to it.
Just so people are happier with them or whatever.
Perhaps we can create some effects when you can chop up an onion
and we can make, like, a little volcano come out the top of it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, Uncle Globo taught me a finger, too.
I'm pretty handy in the kitchen.
Yeah, I make potatoes, mouth.
Food for Houthi, that's very nutritious.
Thanks.
I'm like magic.
Yeah.
Torbeck can only really do this.
And Torbeck holds up his hand and his finger, like, gets long and horrible and horrific.
And, like, twisted.
Ah, oh.
And then it retracts.
Oh, that's it.
Oh, that's it.
That's about Torb.
Beck has up his hairy sleeves.
Just the one finger, or can you do that with each of the fingers?
All of them.
Oh, I'm not sure what you wanted.
Well, I mean, maybe if they have, like, really tall cabinets or something, you could open those.
Okay.
Well, look, I mean, if it's a team effort, you know, if I got to fucking sing and read from the script, which is not my thing, by the way, I like to go off the cuff.
You know, it can be a team effort.
We can each cook a dish.
I'll handle the main course if that work for you, though.
I don't think of something.
This is like the old days, fellas.
It's like putting on the show,
and now the rubes, as Kremi would say,
are just a bunch of frogs instead of just a bunch of people,
including some frogs.
Hey, Torbeck.
Yes.
I found her outfit.
Oh, thank you.
What did you bear?
I found the best with 100 tiny pockets
in this white sequin glove
that's sized for a human.
Oh.
Okay. Torbeck will reach out.
Wait, it's a vest that has 100 pockets.
It's a secret-
Tiny pockets, yeah.
Okay, I'll put the vest on.
I guess Torbeck will take off what he's currently wearing.
Oh, I'm gonna be the vest.
So then all, I mean, I won't have pants or anything.
So I'll just turn it down completely made.
And I'm just basically a hairy big foot at this point.
And I will take the Sequin vest and put it on.
Close your eyes, Twigsie.
Yeah, I'm just a big foot.
I put on the Sequin vest and it's like kind of tight
there's a hundred little pockets and sequence.
I will reach out with my left hand
to take the tiny glove.
And as you do, you hear in your mind,
he, he, chabon.
And I'll pick up my right hand
and it'll, like, shrink to fit in this tiny glove.
And it oddly does fit.
And as you feel like you have the ability
to move in a way you hadn't before.
You now gain the ability to moonlock.
Torbeck is suddenly feeling a bit more coordinated
Torbeck you look very starless
Thank you
I can feel the breeze
Through my legs
Can we get some matching tight lever pants
Twigsieps match
Yeah I can look
Out of jacket
Torbeck doesn't know
Torbeck's pretty happy without pants
I don't know if they let them go down there
with all that going on over there, you know what I'm saying?
They might be into it, you never know.
They could be.
And Torbeck, you do moonwalk.
And for all intents and purposes,
while you're wearing this glove and this outfit,
you have advantage on all performance checks.
It just constantly plays.
Tourbet, Torbeck dance all right.
Crummy, are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay, crummy?
Creamy, are you okay?
Mr. Gramey, are you okay?
Mr. Grammy, are you...
Gideon's not my love.
Oh, you should look very stylish, Torbeck.
Okay, I want...
That will fit over Torbeck.
I'll be back.
Don't rush.
It's all right.
If you don't find any, no big deal.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Bye.
Well, we, I mean, I feel like this is appropriate.
Apropos.
Roco.
Tormak'll make it work.
Bless you.
Okay.
I feel like we're going to, so we got a schmuse,
we got an electric chef, we got
the play,
and we've got to figure out a plan
to, you know, kind of do a little bit
of political machinations and change the culture
with a little bit of subterfuge and cultural
revolt. Then we also have to do
a false-flang operation?
We already did. Taubeck took care of that.
Well, I mean, we planted the seat,
but we haven't watered anything yet.
Oh, don't worry.
The final act is going to feature
the greatest false flag of them all.
You really have it all together today.
It's just remarkable.
Oh, my gosh.
I did major in Bollyside, I remember.
Oh, yes.
And so what's the goal of all this?
The goal is to turn public perception
in favor of Mogo
so that once they see,
oh, she's the champion of the people.
She's the greatest knight, whatever,
then they will clamber with their clammy hands for her release,
and everything's going to be great.
And we're then going to also weave in a little bit of false flagging subterfuge
to turn bravron against scabuff.
And blame scabwe for everything that's going on.
So we're going to reveal that the books with the balloon fellas?
Yes.
That's part of the final act.
You worked all that into the opera?
Well, we'll see how it goes.
If we always say shit about the book, do we have an airtight alibi?
A what?
An alibi.
What are you talking about? What's that?
I think he means an alibi.
I'm a liby.
Oh, of course. I've thought of everything, Kramme.
Why didn't you say that?
While they was stealing the book, we was off in the swamp not stealing nothing.
That's pretty good.
Huh?
Do we have a witness?
I tore back
here some pants.
Oh, okay.
They don't have any clothe over
back cheeks.
Done.
Okay.
I was just warning in case you didn't work.
I snatch them on and I begin to put them on.
And they are a pair of leather assless chaps.
Oh, wow.
How does Torback look, fellas?
It's more about how Torbeck smells.
I just like moonwalking circles around them.
Yeah.
Made admittedly better, admittedly better.
Cheek chillers.
See what you will, he's got moves.
Yeah, I didn't know he can do it.
The rhythm is flowing through Torbeck.
Can you do that lean food?
Oh, wow.
There's furniture in the way, Frost.
It is uncanny how he leans.
It's almost as if there's no gravity in the room at all.
All right, well, I guess the rest of us will just wear it.
Everyone get your lyrics to your songs.
Here you go.
Here you go.
I can't see any of this music.
You expect me to sing this?
Yes, you're one of the leads.
You are Wigglewold.
The Valiant Trubodore.
It is literally impossible
for me to perform this one.
Rusty, you're gonna be great.
Gricko.
Yes.
Of your outfit?
Let's see.
And she walks over to you
with her arms filled
with golden metal pieces.
And as she
helps you get everything put together,
you all watch as once there had been
Grico and now there is
a candlestick man.
What the hell?
Lomier.
to get the beast.
You know, no, but why did you use in the reality of the world?
Shock me, bleh.
Man, do you think this outfit gave him a different language, like dancing for Dorkman?
Yeah, I will say it does.
You notice that your voice has changed.
Oh.
The language of the bulletwood hugs.
Oh, huh, you are correct.
It's the fucking fronest.
It's cronlemy, grickle.
Ah, grotto.
Gromrie.
Yeah.
I said, oh.
Dorma can't understand him anymore.
What's he saying?
I'm covered in gold.
I have a nice and intrinsic value.
Yeah, you missed your money back.
Just like you told me.
Oh, the wax is covering my face.
I can barely move in my lips.
Just another night in Goblin College.
Chocolate blue.
Oh, even that made Dormack wince.
Uh-huh.
How do I look, a fellow.
Are you stuck like that?
Uh-huh.
I feel very fancy.
Oh, man.
I feel a facie.
I can't wait for you to explain to them their rules and the performance.
Do I look like a funk?
You look kind of like a candle stick for being honest.
Just wax and go.
Oh, la la.
I think you're gonna fit in perfectly.
The Magnifici.
Can you do the popping thing?
They're very French, right? They do that.
I'm stuck like this.
Yeah.
So now I just need, I'll need help carrying.
fine.
Let me use my invisible mage hand and this hold your mouth open like this, like you
well, that doesn't have a rat's side.
Are you gonna have to perform like this?
I hope not, certainly.
That raises a good question.
Doorback is looking at his role and doesn't see how this matches this.
I think we've been
Get the new customs
Torbex-I-So
sure we have to be that hasty.
Doesn't this feel like overkill
just feel like a dinner party?
I imagine that's the point.
Everything they do is over the top
and
outrageously luxurious
and
voiceful.
Frost, I found you a bit too.
You said you want to be
sensible?
I don't recall.
I didn't.
Well, the thing is, I couldn't find anything sensible,
but I did find this outfit that looks like a weird, milky, white puddle.
And she used it to you.
What the fuck?
You asked for that?
No, I didn't say sensual, and I didn't.
I thought something traditional, something that I was, to fit in.
I thought it was maybe a gelatinous cube, but melted.
but I don't think that's what it is.
Yeah, sacra goo.
Oh, I knew it's fun.
Seriously,
Mike open his mouth.
I was like,
he throws his phone, man.
I've got that.
Let me get the character right quick.
That was brilliant, right?
I don't write that down.
I put this on.
I think you just step into
become a wonder with it or something.
And for all intents and purposes,
you become a caboosh.
Oh, we-wee.
This is getting out of hand
and two of them.
And the semacress.
I have to be able to fit in
and I am songier than ever.
Thank you.
And you watch as he's just rolling around
on the floor.
It's just this weird
gelatinous,
looking white goo
with two eyes. Clearly
Frosty's eyes in the middle of it.
Oh man, we're going to have to get him a bucket
to bring him along.
It feels very strange.
It's almost like I have no bones at all.
I could find you something different
if it don't be sensual,
but that's the only mostly sensual
thing I could find.
You thought of the word sensual and you brought me
this white goo?
Could you?
Well, from a certain point of you.
He wasn't his friend.
Did he release playing the shoes with the buckles?
Like a Mr. Potato?
This one fits a plastic, but
my son.
My eye is starting to like...
I don't know how to take this off.
It's really good.
perform it?
I think it you should try again.
Rer roll.
All I have to do is re-roll.
Twig, this is very common.
I just don't know if I can have any kind of social interaction.
You know how limited I am in these ways.
I just, I wanted something that no one would suspect.
Okay, well, give me another rough idea of what you want if you don't want to be sensible.
I'll take a 98.
Oh, wow.
Well, I found this glass jar filled with a weird milky white substance.
What?
Where are you getting all this white substance?
Why do you put it in a bowl?
Answer me.
Defender and so.
I thought to make jokes that even I am not comfortable making.
Oh, that would have been perfect.
If you don't know what you want, like to make to figure out what you want, okay?
and also stop being two of you.
Oh, I can't give me that back, all right?
You've had too much.
You're just one, you know?
It's empty.
It's not supposed to empty.
Oh, my God, it's supposed to be endless.
It's empty.
You might actually die.
Oh, God.
Well, I don't know how to take this off in there are two.
Can someone else wear this other ones
so that I don't feel out of place, at least?
No.
I don't think so.
No, shut up, I'll get you another one, too, Frost.
I think we should rewrite the play.
There'll be about this drive of the people.
What do you think?
How is that in your difference from what you...
Let me's a frog is my messed up.
The miss a frog's?
It's pretty funny.
That's pretty funny.
That's pretty funny.
The wax is covering my nostrils now.
It's someone that pleases of poker, two holes.
So we just put you out until we get to the party?
We, wait.
Nothing means a yes.
Oh, no, no, no, you're the fine, back.
Come on.
Okay, I found this outfit for you.
Okay.
And she hands you something that looks like a,
like a Walmart child Halloween.
costume and it is clearly of a map, a treasure map.
I think that'll be better than this.
Oh, here.
No. Oh, shit. I gave it the wrong frost.
No, no, I've got it. What? See? Huh? Okay. Okay.
Can you get the back?
Hold back. Yep.
I'm funny to go fire!
Aluminum pineapple savages!
And I do have the final one,
and she walks over to you two
with two lobster costumes.
Did you know the lobsters made for life?
I don't know anything about lobsters
or how that's relevant to us.
Yeah, and that's sort of unrelated.
It's just like a fun fact.
about lobsters
Yeah, and you guys
Look guys, the lobsters are two bowls of gear
Yeah, obviously we'll wear the lobsters, I think
But, you know
I'm just saying, it's not, you know, like, relevant in a way
But I'll put it up
Yeah
Well, I like the red, so I'll put it in too
The other one's a purple lobster
Oh.
I'm not sure if it's naturally purple or if it's a thick seed.
Well, maybe I'm like a pre-cooked lobster.
You know what I mean?
They're not really red until they're steamed alive.
Oh, so I'm the steamed alive lobster.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
You know.
Oh, so my claws wouldn't be moved.
I'd be just like, you know, done.
I get, well, no, it's sort of like a magical.
You're basically like an undead zombie lobster.
Oh, okay.
Well, that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are we ready to go?
Well, I think...
Our costumes give us any special powers as lobsters?
Are we just lobsters?
Oh, okay.
You have a swim speed.
Be equal to whatever your swim speed is.
Burka doesn't say burning out the dancing lobsters at some point.
turn our opposite.
Is we performing in this?
This is what we're performing in
addition to going to a social event.
I said then they have another.
Who's there?
Hey, it's me, it's Billy.
Come on in, we're only kind of decent.
Oh, home.
Come in, Leon.
What are you guys wearing?
We chose our outfits so that we'll fit in.
I'm a burned map.
I look like the intro to the TV show Bonanza.
Oh, Frost, that's funny, you all know what that is?
More like a 90% there.
God damn, my little Frost is dissatisfying the situation.
He's just so damn funny.
Um, yeah, uh, uh, okay, um, I was instructed to bring you back down to the ball.
of the ball. Yeah, no, we're ready.
This is what we're going with.
At least until it's time to move you to the
opera house.
Sure, this looks better than my fine
green robe. Let's go.
Lead the way, Billy.
I really, I agree. I love with the process.
And with that, he does
begin to.
Quit ligging it, man. Quit ligging it. I'm trying to
off your lips a little bit.
It's making a seal.
Oh, God.
You're clear, man.
Thank you.
Yeah, just don't look around your mouth, right?
You're going to intake some of that.
It's going to get into your bloodstream.
I've already swallowed the 10 gallons of eggs.
Eggs?
I thought he said X.
Oh, oh, no.
Oh, no.
That's way too much.
That's a great thing.
Oh, the dinner plates are dancing.
Oh, shit.
And, uh...
Taching.
I will be right down.
And it is with that that you were escorted back to the room,
back to the ballroom.
And as you make your way in, uh, Billy,
quickly jumps to the side of the door and in sync with the other trumpeteer,
they announce your arrival.
And the, once again, the room stops as you make your way in.
A burned map, candlestick, Michael Jackson, and two lobster.
What a news.
Oh, hey there.
The entire place is go silent to be, 100-winged heads.
A tumble-wing rolls in.
And then as soon as the ice fixed us and tubbleweed is gone,
Torbell will start to go backwards.
So I'm not.
And as to, at first, there is a complete silence.
As everyone is taking in this sight,
they are appalled and uncomfortable and repulsed
as Torbeck turns around and his assless chaps
are viewable to all in the room.
Oh, God, no.
But just as he does, he begins.
to dance and you hear,
and you see a pair of panties
fly across the room and land on his shoulder.
And I stick them in one of the hundred times.
Are they frog panties?
They have frog panties.
99.
The band follows suit and begins to,
begins to know, they begin to play.
As above the sound of the band,
you hear the sound of clapping and your attention is drawn to Bevelorn a Blight Straw,
who's sitting atop her lily pad with a sinister smile on her face as she claps and looks at you.
The king seems excited as he wipes the look of fear and worry off of his face and begins to smile
and clap as well. And everyone begins to dance. Occasionally people move up next to you,
and welcome to the Soggy code.
You must be the new night.
Greetings.
I am Count Grumple.
Your name is?
I'm Dame Sogington.
Pleasure to meet you, Dame Sogington.
And you as well. I love your treasure map of costume.
Yes, it will be very popular next to see them.
I was not informed it was supposed to be masquerade.
Oh, no, this will be the regular clothes that people wear soon.
Oh, is this a new law the king is breaking into existence?
No, it's just because it looks so fresh.
You're on fire, and she pats out one of this mall.
Oh, thank you. I was wondering if that was just in my imagination.
Well, it was lovely to meet you to enjoy the rest of the ball.
Dame Soggington.
This is a nightmare.
Frosty, why is the X right over your crotch on the treasure map?
I'm getting a drink.
I want to, like, shuffle over into the bar.
There's no bar, but there are,
There are bully wugs that are walking around with silver platters that house a
whole manner of beverages that you could.
There's swamp pain, which is a sparkling swamp water.
Twigs can't be the only one was drunk here.
All right.
Since we match, I got a fucking numbness.
We've got to catch up them 20 times a shot out.
It's unbelievable.
I like to imagine that the map is just holding my arms in the same way that you're locked in.
I've never been so happy that I have a mage hand.
I'll snatch two glasses of whatever.
Oh, auditors, please.
There are no hors d'oeuvres.
It is very clear that because of the impending
Electrum chef, that they have prepared no food they want people
to be incredibly hungry for what's to come.
But the swan pain is unlimited.
What did you say this was?
was. It's called Swampan or Swampagney, depending on where you're from.
Is it just sparkling swamp water? Yes. Oh, pleasant. Yeah. Make sure you get the mother.
And it's just...
That is. Fowler. That is. That's across the line. I'll take ten more buckets
of white goose, please.
As Kimi puts down the two glasses,
Torbik, fix them up.
You can drink.
You can only call it Swamp Pain if it comes from Swamp Pain.
Otherwise, it's just smart like swam water.
What do you think, kids? Should we try to mingle with old
Babylon, you know, get on on a good side?
What do you think?
Well, if you're going to
think, well, it's going to say to her.
Like, hey, you're looking
fucking witch.
No, no, no, no.
Fucking opposite of that.
No, you don't look like a witch at all.
I'm sorry.
I mean, you look very unmagical.
We'll walk right up to her and say,
beat it.
Beat it.
No one likes to be defeated.
Man, when did you get so good at stuff, man?
I love that.
It's just all into it back now.
Maybe the poet did.
Oh, man, maybe you should wrap the opera.
Pugh!
Are we sure we got a good liby?
We're not gonna fucking blow this?
It will be fine.
All right, I'm watching.
With my new,
found knowledge, we will bring out the guillotine and behead the hag in front of the people.
Hey, you be cool, man.
There'll be a bloody revolution!
Oh!
Bride revolution!
Oh!
Oh!
God, no!
I can have a chunk of the melted wax
and it's shut up.
Bloop.
Loop.
Ugh.
I look like Clayface.
You know what?
From Batman, the animated series.
It's horrible death scene.
I remember that.
Oh, it's so good.
That's a pretty big movie.
That's a good movie.
That's a benefit of playing.
Maybe with this mouth sealed show with hot wax,
and now we can go over there and talk to her,
and they won't be screaming about bloody revolutions of the lack.
Have any agenda or questions to ask?
I suppose we have to go say hello, but can we get anything out of that?
We're going to walk right up to her?
Why not?
I mean, this is the shindig.
All right.
It's what I do.
But if she says that Torbeck is the one,
the kid is not Torbeck son.
Torbeck, what the fuck are you talking about?
Torbeck's not really sure.
It's just just bubbling up inside of door back and coming right out.
He's just one pair of panties and you just go fucking insane.
Well, it might be the panties.
It might be the assless chaps.
Who is to say?
All right.
Well, let's, I mean, just don't.
Bricko, if I remove this, can we drop all talk of royal executions?
Mm.
For the real revolution.
Exactly the last one.
You just needed to get out.
Hmm, wee wee.
Okay.
All right, fine.
I don't know, like, rip it like I'm like, I'm acting a mustache.
I'm, oh.
I am retired.
We just gave Grico a grilion.
I was working on that mustache for five years.
What, you got a mustache?
That's as far as you got in five years?
That's good to deep.
It smashed cuts like a hyper-realistic painting of like just tiny things.
They're like tiny things.
In the wax, yeah.
There's like three hairs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, man.
As all this is happening, you hear a squeal, loud commotion,
and a bunch of laughter.
And you realize that in one corner of the, one corner of the ballroom, there is a circle, a crowd of people, and they're all staring at something.
And some of them are gasping and looking shocked.
Others are guffawing.
There's clearly something interesting happening off to the side.
I look for Twigsie.
She is nowhere to be seen.
What?
Where you keeping an eye on Twigsie?
Where is she?
Did she stay in the room?
I don't know.
I don't recall.
I came down here with us,
but I'd just assume she'd be getting the party started.
You know what I mean?
I mean, it's a party, right?
Is it possible that all that cruel laughter is to do with a drunk twig?
Oh, man, I don't know any Michael Daxon song titles that are relevant to this situation,
but, well, we could check it out.
I suppose we could.
I'll waddle over there with you.
I know you don't hear this a lot, Frosty,
But I think that in this one specific instance, you might have been right about getting her some of the drink.
Thank you for admitting that now.
Well, you know what they say about Ironside?
Come on.
I walk over with Gideon to see what the commotion is about.
You walk over and they make room for you and you're able to squeeze in.
And what you see is a, there are tables that line these walls spaced here and there.
for people to get off of their feet and enjoy a drink and to relax a little between dances and things.
And what you see is Twig in her full regalia with bang-bang unholstered as she is looking down at a very
dapper elderly Bullywag who is sprawled on the floor.
He looks like he's actually been hit aside the head and knocked unconscious.
As Twig staggers around on top of the table.
And everyone is just howling with laughter.
They don't really know what to do with her.
She stumbles this way and that.
And she steps directly off the table and would normally plummet.
But one of the Bullywugs lifts her over and places her back on the table.
It's very clear that this has happened a few times.
And you're able to see very quickly that even more people are beginning to mill about.
And though it is entertaining in sort, Twink seems to be okay.
She's very intoxicated.
But the Bullywugs, even though she has knocked this man unconscious, he are almost unconscious,
he is laughing on the floor.
He's holding, they've got ice up to his head, and he is just having the time of his life.
You're not quite sure what transpired here to get to this point, but they all seem fairly
enchanted by her.
And you are able to see that it leaves the portion of the room where Bavlornah is seated,
and the king are seated, fairly uncrowded.
and that if there is an opportunity to gain an audience with her, it is probably now.
Walt Twig is stealing the show.
I'm frozen.
I take it all back, man.
We weren't right at all.
She's doing right over here.
Hey, hit him again, Twigzy.
Okay, you got it.
Big, bang, bang.
Smash a random bullet.
He's starting laughing.
Oh, that man, not do digging that.
If you get lit tired, do not sleep.
Yeah.
Oh, man, that guy's not making it.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go talk to Babylon.
This wasn't a problem at all.
Yes.
We walk over to Butler.
You're just going to walk straight up to her?
Well, backwards.
Yeah, he's walking backwards.
I'm sort of walking.
They're walking sideways.
I think of it.
No, no, they walk forward.
I'm thinking of a cramp.
The king in Bavlornah appear to be deep in conversation.
As you begin to approach, her eyes move this way and that.
You notice that one of them is firmly focused on the commotion that's happening around twig.
The other one, however, is dirty this way and that between each of you.
And as you get close enough, she whispers something to the king.
He nods.
He looks to all of you.
He bows slightly.
You see his wig begin to slip as it almost falls off of his clearly hairless frog head.
But he holds it tight to him as he actually steps away and leaves the room through a side door,
leaving you alone with Bavlornah.
She, the one eye trailing all of you as you walk up.
So you have come to see me.
me.
What a do?
No, Madam Brazil.
And I'll reach out to grab her hand.
You are aflame.
But she...
You just get wax all over.
You are enchanting.
She pulls her hand back and there are strings of wax that are hard dang as she pulls away.
Apologies for that.
Let me just take it.
That he's not only a wax.
That he's mostly a wax.
She might have enjoyed it, man.
Give her a chance to just so get in the experience.
You know? Some people like that kind of thing.
This seems to have a nice effect on my fence.
It is a great moisturizer.
She rubs, she begins to rub the wax into her hands.
The dryness of her skin immediately causes it to begin to crack and crumble onto the ground.
Greetings.
My name is Count Grumple of Bogbottom.
and what is your real name?
Well, I mean, we're trying to be respectful of the people at the,
this here masquerade and a ball or whatever the fuck it is,
and we were given these names when we were made members of the court.
I do not like when people lie to me.
It makes me very uncomfortable.
He was given the name Lord crumpled up or whatever.
My sisters are quite the liars.
Did they send you to talk to me?
me.
Who are your sisters?
Tiske,
I can sense the
deception in your voice.
I've never forgotten a sister
a day of my life, I don't think.
Not that I can remember.
Roll a
persuasion check.
I would say add advantage.
Ton, ton,
ton.
My name is
Marisza.
I'm glad.
Um,
uh,
um,
20. With a natural 20. I will stop talking after this.
You do look like the kind of person that would keep tabs on his sister.
Oh, thank you.
For probably nefarious reasons.
Oh, well, well, they wouldn't consider it that way.
You are dressed very strangely for members of the Sochi court.
We were dressed by Brownie, and we were just trying to, you know.
The one that punches the elderly?
Yeah.
It was using the tacky stage pirate accent.
Yeah, I mean, you know, she means well.
She's drunk.
A busy prank, bro.
They seem to like it.
Well, we wanted to meet you officially.
We can see you of the guest of Anna.
I was invited by myself.
Oh.
Or you may think the king.
use these lens, but no, it is I, Bavlornna.
And my Lorna, since she motions to the side of her,
and you see the two Lornelings peek out from either side.
Oh, I have a feeling, you've been Conan.
What do the Lauren wings look like?
They are, they look like little versions of Bavlornna.
Oh, but where she is much more frog-like,
they are more lithe and small,
but they have very similar features.
Their eyes going all over the place.
Their mouths are clearly agape.
These the creatures I saw.
Do they what?
Like almost impish?
Yeah, I can show you a photo.
And these are the same creatures that I saw bathing.
They are the same creatures.
One of them stole Hoosie.
So I'm looking.
A little swamp pain comes up into my mouth
and then I swallow it back down.
It's a slum pain.
Yes.
Oh.
Hey everybody, Gary Goodberry here.
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Goodbye.
I had the feeling that you were awfully cunning to be able to establish yourself high and mighty above this whole town.
I do have my impressive traits.
cunning
is one of them
well up
have you lost
anything
have we lost
anything in particular
or you had something in mind
in terms of what we may lost
do you come
to Warner
to make a deal
you lose something
you need me to help you get it back
you're my dancing back
you've lost
your ability to dance?
I technically, no.
I mean, I didn't lose it.
I bought something with it.
It was stolen from you.
Well, I think technically
Grammy would call it like a fair trade.
I could help you to get your dancing back.
Oh.
Well.
Well, well.
Well, this situation's
looking up.
And you look like you're missing something from the very soul, the very core of your being.
Oh, now that the cat is out of the bag, uh, yes.
Oh, shit. Was that what I was supposed to say?
And do you miss it? Do you want it back?
I have lost two things as Frost.
I've exchanged an ounce of my fear.
Mm-hmm.
and I have lost what was taken for me by the rapid folk when we first arrived in Prismere
my memory of the kind gesture that Grico gave me by producing that whistle.
So I guess the answer is yes, but do I get a sense that one is more important
or that I'm feeling that I'm losing either of those things or do I not care?
I would say you know that something is lost.
You don't, because they've been taken from you, I would say you don't understand the gravity of what was taken, but you do know something was taken from you.
And you may want it back.
And I think because of how Smart Frost is, you would have the understanding that your perception of its value would have been altered by the fact that you have no memory of it.
It is hard to know of the value of what has been taken.
but I...
I would think
that
something like
memory would
be priceless
for you are the only one
who's ever able to experience it
the way you did.
What a shame
to lose something so
unique.
So intrinsically,
I actually had not thought of it
that way, perhaps by its nature of how it had been taken.
And who knows how you have changed with its loss?
Hmm.
And you?
Silver-eyed alligator.
Silver eyes and silver tongue?
Kind of fits, doesn't it?
But, I mean, you know, I see what you're getting at.
Yeah, I did trade them away.
It was fair and square, but.
If you could have them back the way they were, would you want to have it?
Depends what the terms of that sort of arrangement might detail.
Hmm, interesting.
What are you thinking?
Is that something you could help us with?
You, little candleman.
Oh, mademoiselle.
French bread.
I am not sure you are the type I can help.
Oh, I have lost something very precious to me.
The words you seek to recover are neither important nor necessary.
The deal was for the best.
Best to keep things as they are and not alter the course of things.
I blew you to reconsider there.
And then you mark it of the king.
Oh, only missing one thing currently,
and Rimmel's pretty sure that nobody can give a lat back.
And it's just time.
A whole years you have been parted from your friends.
Sounds about right.
I can see the time stretch between you like strands.
You have walked time.
timelines differently. The Feywild is in you now, isn't it? And you can hear you knocking at the door?
No.
Hmm. A way to sever the connection that he holds to keep the power in your hands, not his? It could be interesting to someone like you, don't you think?
Um, Rimmel's not so sure on to answer.
No, you would not be.
But the time is nigh for you to perform and make a learn a laugh.
We'll talk after.
I invite you to dinner at my house tomorrow.
And we will talk more, yes?
Oh, what's on the menu? I'm so hungry.
It will be a surprise.
I will make something you will love.
And the smile she has on her face is incredibly wide,
far wider than you would expect her mouth to be able to move,
but it does.
You can think about what you've lost
and what you would be willing to
barter with to get it back.
Very high prize.
imitation accepted
and you know
if you're
looking for
some capable fellas to
take care of some things for you and just
you know let us know
we might be able to
make a deal
we will talk at dinner
it was really lovely
will you be a judge
at the contest of Electron Cef
no I will
not be I may not be able
to attend the cooking show
but I will be here
In Sacri-Boo!
You must have ended.
You can even know him.
Just get back to you.
Oh, good.
Did you double book yourself tonight?
You can't make it to Electrum Chef?
You got other plans?
Not that it is any of your business.
Damn.
That's another fuck you moment, huh?
I know.
Jesus.
I mean, when you're as powerful as she is,
you can do that sort of thing.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
What were you going to say?
This is twice now, you dare to interrupt that woman a light straw, and I so kindly offer you my assistance in reclaiming that which you have lost.
Do you find this to be all right the way you speak to your betters?
Were you sent by them, my sisters?
To be disrespectful?
No, I mean, no, no, no, no.
Did scabby send you to my domain?
No, no, no, no.
You know of skebitha.
Only just because you just said her name.
I mean, I don't know.
These, these guys said skebby.
Did she say scabatha earlier?
We know of scabith.
Her eyes dart this way and that.
I'm normally pretty confused by lots of stuff.
So, I mean, I couldn't have just lost the situation.
I wasn't really too far into it.
I'll spit on the ground and it'll be a huge
glob of wax
slowly going down.
Oh, are you suffering from wax fumes
intake?
Probably.
No, you idiot.
Oh, man.
What a fuck used in this conversation and I'm just trying to
have a party.
Damn, everybody's just fitting in.
We were herried
by the
minions
of scabita.
Oh, that was my fun.
I get on Z.
You wax, like, sticking the hairs of your butt cheeks together.
Oh, that'll never come out.
You know how much hair, Torvite is gonna lose?
Somebody's gonna have to shave him.
Oh, I look like the antagonist of the 2005.
Horror film, House of Wax.
Starring Alicia Cootberg.
It's the entran Michael Murray.
I feel like we just pull it off and the hair will come free.
It doesn't seem that big a deal.
Apologies for any offense that you may have taken at any of this.
And I think whatever you might be able to gain from our assistance,
maybe you could return in kind with providing something we may have lost or I would assume.
Many come to me to make deals.
And they always look away.
Very happy customers.
You will not be any different.
Tomorrow night.
All right.
When the fireflies take flight.
Add to the trail of mushrooms.
Oh, been there.
And let the lornlings lead your path.
All right.
Fireflies, mushrooms.
and
longings
all right
well it's been a plan
and I will see you in your show
if I am impressed
I will make sure
you are rewarded
tomorrow night
that will be
performing well
it's been so long
since I have seen a play
or an opera
oh what was the last one you saw
was it good
no
oh well
Oh, he holds well.
Before we bid you adieu, mademoiselle.
The theater is my sister's domain.
What I'm south piggy to.
Is that the one where he goes to the big city?
These are just a papery runs.
Oh, is this the one where she cracks the quadratic equation?
Before we bid you adieu,
and do now.
I must implore you to try the great stuff.
He's delicious.
You may go now.
It is time for you to prepare.
Find your little frog friend, the boy.
He will lead you to the opera house.
I will be in box number two if you want to look for me.
We will.
I thank you for more inviting us to be.
be your guest.
That was funny.
I was waiting for the right up and duty.
I kill you.
What a dude.
Pleasure.
Chachin.
We'll knock your socks off.
Guaranteed.
She sticks her little legs out and you see her long,
spindly toes or cracked toenails
and she wiggles them at you.
Oh.
It says nothing.
I'll tip my...
So I'm picturing that these lobster costumes
just like Kigus.
Yeah, like felt like...
Yeah, basically.
And we have my little mittens on.
Yeah.
That's just like a big onezy.
But I put my hat over top of it
with the eye stock still up in front.
And I'll tip my hat and I'll turn.
And I'll start looking for the red shirt.
I mean, William.
He's easy to find.
He's still standing at the entrance.
He's basically...
Facing the door, he is on the right side, and he is holding his trumpet, just doing his job.
You are making your way towards the entrance to the ballroom directly towards Billy.
When you hear a loud thud and a gasp, and you look over to the side of the room where Twig had been performing for everyone,
You see that some of them have parted, and she is face down on the table snoring loudly.
She's not going to be able to do the perform.
Well, let's help her.
Yeah.
Did you know, I mean, oh, oh, oh, let's bear me from my fate.
You're responsible!
I hate this.
I took two twists out.
You've been fearful.
No.
No, it's not a...
It's not a...
It's not a...
I point as wax covers my face and I look like the
primary antagonist from 2005 horror film House of Wax
starring Paris Hilton.
Oh, brief.
I shouldn't she in that one?
Yeah.
Look, would she cook for?
Yeah.
I refuse to take responsibility for this.
Not because it's not my fault, I just refuse to take responsibility.
Well, at least go collect...
Yeah, yeah, I'm going right now.
That's a little lobster hands, man.
Come on.
Come on.
No, I can get it.
I'll scoop her up.
Yeah, scoop her up.
No one seems to get in your way as you quickly scoop up the unconscious twig.
She is snoring and drooling on herself, but you were able to collect her and make your way towards Billy.
So put her head.
Yeah, obviously.
Oh, that's too.
Hey, it's Billy here.
I know, yes.
I saw the red shirt, yep.
Yeah, I actually forgot your name, so thanks for that.
Jimmy is the other trumpeteer.
Billy and Jimmy?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Just two of you?
Yeah, he's my cousin, Jimmy Wug.
Jimmy Wug.
Jimmy Wug.
And Billy Wug.
James and William Wug.
Your parents must be so brown.
That's two trumpeteers in the family, like, your age.
Yeah, they are.
I mean, that is pretty impressive, given how young...
Yeah, for the king.
Perhaps one day they'll write a story.
of you both. You should just take us to the opera house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get you guys down there. It's not that far. And it's not. It doesn't take you that long, even with Grico's candlestickory body, to make your way down to the opera house. You are making your way down toward to the very first floor of the soggy palace. And as you descend the grand staircase, you realize that it is partially
submerged and as you get to the bottom you are put into boats and you traverse the rooms of the
soggy court the first floor of the soggy court as you're going this way and that until you find
yourselves at another stairwell that leads up and you you send and walk through different
hallways until you eventually open up into a beautiful grand theater.
And it is pristine.
There's no sign of moss or algae.
It is, it looks like it's well-kempt, or at least it was well-cleaned today.
And you are quickly shown around the different boxes.
Box number two is pointed out to you as that is where Gavlorno will be watching.
What?
What's so funny about box number two?
Nothing.
That's funny.
Please continue.
That's very funny.
What?
That's pretty funny.
I'm just going to say number two.
Is it really a poop joke?
Number two?
Number two is funny.
Number two is poop.
Everyone knows number two is poo.
You're gaslighting me or something.
No, no. You don't know that number two is poop.
Number one is peepee.
Kelsey is to die somewhere.
Kelsey's just laughing our ass off.
She doesn't get a lot.
That's all.
I'm gonna do a hat every time you say it,
and then we'll move on.
But is that necessary?
It's not necessary.
But you're gonna do it anyway.
I don't have to do it if you want me to do it.
I'm gonna look out for snail number two.
And Bob's number two.
And he's not there.
But you are able to determine that this is the box
that Beth Larno will be watching from.
You are also able to see the
King's box, which is the direct middle of the theater and has clearly the best view, you are
led down into the orchestra pit and through a door towards the back of the orchestra pit,
up into the deep recesses of the theater until you find yourselves in what is clearly a theatrical
dressing room. There are bully wugs darting this way and that as they, as they
collect things and begin to set up things and you are informed very quickly that you are
able to give whatever orders you need they will either create or find whatever prop
designs and set designs that you need and all of the all of the costumes that you need
and it doesn't it doesn't take long once you're back there to for grico to take
control you quickly change out of your outfits and put on just standard standard
cozy fare as you take the opportunity to direct the stage hands.
We need something a little bit more medieval.
Well, we can ask them to perhaps construct a set.
You've done everything else so far.
I am genuinely impressed by the amount of music, the libretto.
You've written the lyrics.
You've created music for 90 to 100 musicians, all with counterpoint and 44 different types of instruments.
This is remarkable.
How did you find time to do this in the...
the last 24 hours.
Frosty, it's an interesting place
being in my head.
An interesting place being on my skin
now, and there's a bunch of crasty wax.
You've swallowed a lot of wax, too, I've noticed.
I don't feel so good.
No, you should probably find a restroom.
I am retired.
Something like a waxative would probably
go right through you.
You think...
How long have you been sitting on that one?
What?
How long have you been sitting on that one?
Also, a while.
I just hope the bassoon players have the right
umbershire for the music that I've written for this production.
Did you hire the Frog Harmonic Orchestra?
Oh, that's pretty good.
Thank you.
That's pretty good.
We had a Frog Harmonic Orchestra back in Goblin, Tano,
just a Bollywark with a harmonica.
It's all he was.
Okay.
Well, I mean, I feel like we've, wait, if there's an orchestra.
Yeah.
I wonder, hey, guys, I know he said that we wouldn't commit any war crimes than I.
Did we?
No, I think we did.
No, we just told Twig not to do that.
I don't think we committed.
No, that also applies to us.
No war crimes.
No war crimes.
No war crimes.
No.
Okay.
Not even one.
Okay.
What kind of fucking war, what?
I'm just saying it.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
Does somebody
is she more drunk?
No, no.
I'm not,
I'm not suggesting
that we actually
come in the war grounds.
I'm suggesting
we take a
little page
from
from Mr.
Tare Antino
and why don't we
put in the glorious
bastards on
Blavona.
Why don't we
sabotage
to show box.
Why?
Why?
Why would we do that?
What could we possibly get out of doing such a fucking stupid thing
surrounded by potential enemies?
Well, we...
And I think...
Remember, the name of the game is false flag.
We pinnit on scabify.
I fucking hate scabify.
We're screwed on that.
The false flag operation is done.
We've already given away the whole goose.
She was able to sense our sales instantly.
Whatever alibi we had in mind is going to be seen through immediately by her,
and she'll assume that way was us.
Why would she assume that?
Yeah, why would she assume that?
We were just maybe over there in the vicinity, getting robbed of all the things and make us us.
It seems very convenient.
She could make a deduction.
I'm feeling very devious tonight, guys.
Yeah, apparently.
I feel like, what if we check her box?
Okay, we still false flag.
We still false flag, okay?
Yeah, obviously.
But we say that we found a weapon or something from the little fe we bartered with.
I'm with you.
I love this plan.
And we say, oh, we saved you, Bovlona.
We saved it, eh.
Does anyone got anything kind of thunder-related?
or cloud-like.
So you tell them me
we're going to walk up to the box
and be like, oh, we found this live
grenade in your box.
He just saved the day.
Oh, couldn't he put it down.
We're careful with that.
Oh, what are you doing?
15 minutes to curtain ball.
15 minutes. I haven't had time
to practice and I barely can keep any
tune at all. Oh, Twixie. We need to get
in the inn so we can get Hootsie out.
We need to get it in costume.
Go back. Come over here.
Goody, wake up.
Okay.
I need you to just do something real gross in front of her.
Wake her up with your smell.
What does that mean?
I just stand there and I just smell bad.
I don't know how you think I can,
Torbeck can just do this on demand.
Yeah, wait a second.
Keep talking, but I'm going to stand right next to Twiggs' nose.
Just keep talking about it.
Okay, I'll just keep talking to Gideon.
You know, Torbeck doesn't know what.
Oh, she's roused.
She's rousing.
It's working.
It's working.
Keep going.
She's rousting.
I don't understand.
D'Rex, D'Rex, doesn't understand.
As a Cattlebubris, Jim.
Move her closer to the asslessness.
She starts clearly dreaming of this thing she calls a Catoblepess as she attempts to punch it with Gideon in tow.
Oh.
Well, I really thought of this word.
That's all D'Rbeck's got.
Gidon, it's this thing to excursure in existence.
Is it cataplepus.
Well, something's getting through.
And sometimes people call it a Cotobapus.
But really.
Who knows?
All right, well, Torbeck's smell couldn't wake her up.
I think she's lost.
Stage hand, stage hand.
What?
What?
What?
Are you, that worked?
I guess.
Sure.
Yes.
That, I am talking to you.
We need to get inside of your tiny house made large so that we can get a hootsie out.
Oh, that's going to be a problem.
I can't let you in Barcama hootsie out.
Oh, well, that's what we need.
Yeah, we just need a hootsey.
Oh, okay.
And she reaches down.
What?
You just make yourself a cup of, you know,
displace a beast,
while you're down, man,
just to chipping yourself up a little bit.
She opens the door to her little purse,
and Hootsie was waiting there,
and she quickly hops out,
and within seconds is Hootze-sized.
Oh, Hootsey, oh, it's been so long,
I missed you.
I hope you're enjoying your fly,
oh, you've been very busy and distracted.
Gosh, it works for wonders.
God, best coaches all ever made.
Anyone, it's time to get you, you're going to be a knot.
Here are your lines, here you go.
What do you mean?
Uncle Gideon has some stage fright juice.
No, no, no, no, that's alcohol, isn't it?
Oh, yeah, well, it's definitely alcohol.
Oh, did you say you needed some stage fright juice?
Oh, what about a song syrup?
The song syrup?
Oh, yes.
If you're not naturally in.
inclined to performances of singing well.
I can get you some songs, syrup.
When do you whistle and allow you to sing like an angel?
I'll take three.
All right.
Just one moment.
And he walks over to a cabinet and rifles through and brings out a tray filled with quite a few bottles, I'd say,
about six bottles of song syrup and stage fright juice.
And this will make me able to sing and perform.
Sunny, if you can't carry a tune now, you sure we'll be able to soon.
Drink it down, drink it down.
That's Jesus.
Well played.
What play.
How are you feeling?
Do I feel different?
No.
I feel the same.
Try singing a song.
No, wait, don't.
Just channel it.
You can do this.
Save it.
Don't ruin it.
What if you only have so many goes?
I'll save it up.
Nobody talks to me.
Everyone wants to have,
I'm not going to have some other voice of a angel already.
Does anyone need one?
No.
Not for me. I'm all natural.
Torbeck?
Torbeck is beyond help.
Okay.
Take work.
You can go?
I mean, sure.
I mean, you know, this was outlawed in the Battle of the Bands,
But you know, I'll take a little bit of performance enhancing magic, you know what I mean?
He's for the ball of the band.
Crummy. Crummy?
Crammy, bad.
My voice isn't too bad.
Crammy?
Do it, Crummy. Do it, Crummy.
Okay.
Hoopsy.
Are you okay?
Are you okay, Cremie?
What?
Cremie, are you okay?
Are you okay, Crimmie?
People keep saying that. I don't really understand.
Oh, I don't know you're getting flushed in the cheeks.
Ten minutes of curtain.
Oh!
And I'll say, presenting Sir Morgow and the Wart Nardt.
And I've been spending this whole time getting Hootzey,
a very ill-fitting night costume.
And so she'll be like this.
Like when you put your chunky dog into a costume.
I love it.
And like, oh, it fits perfectly.
You are so perfect, Hootzi.
And now remember to do your stylish jigslist.
for each of the acts, you know,
it's really not a free act,
but it's more of an Avanti Garde,
production telling a chivalric romance.
And oh, you're also the key core
to this propaganda?
We're going to change some calls on.
Anyway, I know I can trust you to perform.
And all the while this is happening,
there are Bullywugs.
Bullywug stage hands
darting about the place, constantly
asking you what you need. You are getting outfitted.
Everyone, including Twig,
is now outfitted in the proper costumes.
You have been able to direct
them as to the lighting changes.
The
orchestra has been given
the composition, the music.
There are set set
up, cues, and
Gricko is somehow,
for the sake of brevity,
able to
easily manage
this entire troupe of theater Bollywags
as you notice, you hear the theater filling,
and then you see the lights dim
as the candles are turned down just a little bit.
All of the oil lamps are turned down just a little bit.
And you know that you have minutes, five minutes,
to curtain call.
I know it may be a little late to change this,
but given that there are frogs,
Do you think that we should call us a opera?
Oh, it's too late.
All right, right, right.
Oh, no, no, I didn't mean.
I shouldn't have said anything.
Why didn't you say that earlier, Frosty?
I was trying to say, well, now I'm going to be in my head.
Oh, no.
All you know is a little...
Mm-hmm, hmm, hmm, mm-hmm.
Fuck.
Froster, you look really, you look just like Wigglewark
when we found him alive and perfectly fun.
Unlike those big poofy pants.
Just proper.
Oh, yeah, the...
The pants.
You look like a true troubadour.
Yes, yes, thank you.
I feel in character.
I'm very, very nervous,
but I will do my best for you.
Frosty, I thank you.
Everyone has their roles,
and we're going to need the costume changes.
All of us are basically,
Oh, yes, it's going to be fun.
It's going to be fun.
Remember, we're all in every scene,
so because, you know, it's one of those things
you want to pay actors a whole bunch of money,
so we'd have people repeat the same roles
and it's kind of cringe,
Is it hot in here?
Yes.
Is there my feeling like they're about a best out?
Doorback will do his best.
Oh, yeah.
It's going to be fine.
Just focus your mind.
I'm doing the same.
To the best of my ability, just relax.
It will.
Breathing.
You're not twigling no more.
You're willa.
Just imagine the whole audience naked, all right?
You'll do fine out there.
Ew.
Oh, good.
Oh, just the word of warning.
Remember that nothing rhymes with all.
Orange, purple, or silver.
Don't fall for that trap twice, Dorback.
Orange?
What about Doorhenge?
That's a cheap cop out.
Get out of here, Frost.
Yeah, it is a cheap cop out.
Get out of here, Frost, Dave.
But what about Nerple?
That rhymes with Gurpal.
Oh.
Doorback's not sure that's a real word, but maybe.
What about Gurpul?
Also unsure.
Oh, is Gurpul like a Faitwildwood?
No.
Sounds kind of like a flavor.
You definitely could have convinced Torbeck that that was a Fay Wilder.
I don't think that Sylvan counts as giving points in the game of scribble,
so I'll think that...
Do you imagine there's about a minute left?
I need to take my cue.
All I've got to do is read the...
I mean, can I have the script down on stage?
Well, yeah, just just plow.
Yeah, just read it on the set.
I know.
Remember, I'm going out and you all be wearing a full.
I'll be wearing the frog suit from Super Mario Brothers 3 with the tuxedo.
With the tuxedo.
It's so good.
Okay.
And I'll remember I will be the narrator until I have the final role of Scaref.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you all ready?
Just give me the word and I'll start things.
As ready as possible.
The lights dim all the way and you begin to hear the stage hands call out
places, places, everyone.
It's time to, it's curtain call.
Lusory, and it changes.
Places, places.
And everyone begins to move into place.
So you take your places on the right side of the stage.
I will take my cue.
And you hear the trumpeteers.
And then you hear a voice.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome.
Welcome Soggy Court to the theater, the Soggy Palace.
Today we have a very special event.
The newest members of the Soggy Court will be performing an opera.
From them to the stage.
And there's a light spattering of applause as the Bullywug makes her way off of the stage.
The lights dim almost completely.
The orchestra starts up with the beginning number
as the curtain rises.
As the curtain rises, you'll see that as a light
is just on Grico.
And as he walks, as I walk to the center of stage
and it's with my flipper from my fraud costume.
And I will say,
tonight's
opera
and I'll give a wink to Frost
off stage
presented by
Carnival lique
tells
a tale
of comedy
tragedy
drama
and romance
I present
the chivalric
romance
of Sir Morgo
and the
wart night
immediately the crowd
He said Sam Mugah.
You mean that traitorous night?
And the crowd is confused and scared and nervous.
But they continue to watch.
Enjoy.
And I will bow as the second.
You hear a bit of clapping.
Don't clap it, that's Simon.
And you'll hear, uh,
and I'll actually blow my out, Karina.
as I play a cheesy medieval like trumpet,
as I walk off stage as the curtain raises.
And you will see a stage that it's set,
however the bully wolves would do it.
You're the DM now.
And it's all just like painted driftwood,
all stitched together like a stage play.
A sixth grade stage play.
And there'll be like a weeping willows,
and it's just like streamers that are hanging
down.
Perfect.
And there will just be
Frost in his
outfit, as you can describe yourself.
And then Hootsie will just be at the center
as the light shines down
as she just sitting out
looking at the crowd
with a little night outfit.
And I'll say,
Arteu begins.
As my voice will boom
out magically.
With the honorable
Narch, Morgh, the knight
of what,
setting out from
her town of downfall, alone, into far reaches, unknown, except for her dearest friend,
the beloved troubadour wiggle wog. And music will start playing as, uh, as uh, uh, hootsie
will get up and just start to do a little dance. I'll step forward and I imagine the music swells.
Well, music swells, yeah.
All right, France.
Let's see if you can do this.
A legend is sung of when Morga was young.
A bully-wug, brave and bold,
their goal to provide with sword by her side
that downfall would ever be home.
Each feet by her hand should be shared and adored.
Now see her deeds in this course.
I can't do it anymore.
The great night of war.
Oh my god.
Roll a performance check in and a
He always sing like that.
We didn't know we had it in him.
You think that was the joke?
I should have drank some of that damn juice.
And we have to follow him!
Is that still an option?
Fuck, 7% billy-bill-b.
Why did I start at such a high octave?
Performance, you say.
Yes, at advantage.
17.
Immediately.
At first, the crowd is caught off guard.
They're exclaiming about Morgo, but then you begin to sing.
And everybody quiets as a hushfuls over the theater.
You finish your song.
and there is silence.
And then the crowd of rucks and applause.
And you hear,
Simon,
Plop!
Simon can't do a damn thing.
I'll turn.
Shocked.
Like,
I'm actually like to say them to say them there's silent for like a little longer than I should be.
Oh.
What does the rest of my scene?
Grigo,
I've lost it.
How did I do that?
Hoosie's looking at you with really wide out.
lies too, as she's never seen for us to do that,
and then she turns into the clapping bear
from Harvey Birdman attorney at law.
And then you see as Hucci stands up on her hind legs,
and she puts her paw to her head
and looks around and points around,
and then looks and then sits back down.
Yes. Morgo, the very wise and brave you are
to point the direction.
as we have only just met, but I can already tell that you are a strong and fearless night.
And she looks up at you, like, expectingly.
Ah, that is exactly right.
We have much evil to defeat in this land, people to protect and aid to provide succor.
Sucor?
Sucor?
Yes, yes, yes.
And we have to make our way to seek out.
our quests.
At this point, there's like a piece
of dust that's getting caught in
the lights of the stage play,
and it's caught Hoosie's attention,
and she's now on her back, like,
batting it around.
Very
wise of you, yes,
I can tell that you care about your
principles and your chivalric
code of honor very much.
I will join you,
and I will write stories about
you, and I will sing of your
your tail and it's not like I'm falling in love with you or anything there's certainly none of
that happening and then a single spotlight hit me and I walk out to the edge of the stage
I am just a simple troubadour no trouble do I seek I just wanted a few coin for my song and
dance last week will this bewitching fighter
seduce this humble writer
Oh, what's a troubadour to
Roller performance,
I get it!
Unbelievable.
The crowd immediately erupts and applause,
and you hear, who is this man?
Who is the dolecent tone, Simon?
Get off your device.
damn fly pad.
Yeah, yeah, let's make our way.
And we will go and we'll seek out the,
you're one of your many great first deeds, let's say.
And with that, the walk off stage as the curtain will drop as...
The audience applause.
They're incredibly happy to start.
As Rick was running behind stage, he's pulling off his stuff,
and he's getting into his new costume change.
and then he'll call out
And so, the brave, brave Sir Morgot
And the knight of warts
Went off with her dear companion Wigglewog
Who was very deep in the friend zone at this point
Brave, brave Sir Morgos
Went forth and on her way
She was not afraid to die, no,
Brave Sir Margo,
Brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave,
brave Sir Margo.
And as this, there is a,
and I was like, oh, stage it, come up, come on.
And then Frost, yeah, Frost and Hootsie are walking along.
And then there are a bunch of frogs in black turtlenecks.
Trees.
Trees.
Yeah, movie trees and shoves around.
And as they're going back and forth,
as there is a walking montage.
And so, they said,
looking for frogs and other folks of the swamp to help and aid,
as that is what brave not do of good character,
who should not be executed by the crown,
until they arrived at the Slanty Tower,
and brave, brave Sir Mogo held her owl bear,
I mean, frog appendage to her ear
and heard the song of beautiful singing,
coming from the highest chamber trapped away in the slanty tower.
I use Mage Hand to tickle her ear a little bit so that Hootze actually does like...
Oh, yeah.
Did you sense dangers, Ur-Morg?
You're always so attuned to the moral right and wrong.
And on stage left, there's a large slanty tower.
This is very clearly just a bunch of boxes.
backed up, but there is, and it's painted so it is very slanty.
But in the window, you see?
The little window, so the boxes will actually just be as tall as Torbeck.
And there'll be a little curtain at the top of the boxes, and the window will part,
the little curtain will part, and Torbeck will be there in this beautiful pink pointy hat
with a pink dress playing with Torbeck's hair.
Oh, it's Tormeck's time to shine!
Tormec is playing Princess Torbeca tonight.
You're announcing this to be honest.
Yes, yeah.
I got allowed to say it.
Torbeck will reach down and pull out
the tiny tin whistle from the match.
Oh.
Torbeck, Torbeck, Torback, Torback, Torback, Torback,
Torback, Torback, Torback, torbeck.
Midnight not to sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
Torbeca's smiling alone
In the lamplight,
The withered leaves
Collect at her feet
And the wind
Begins to moan
Memon in the moonlight
Torbeca dreams of the old days.
Life was beautiful then.
Torbeca remembers the time she knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again.
Day right.
Torbeca waits for the sunrise.
She must think of a new life
And she mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day
Will begin
That was Dormbeka's song
The audience
erupts in applause.
No role necessary.
As Frost has paved the way for this,
there is not a dry eye in the house.
You can hear the sounds of Simon blubbering
above them all,
as everybody feels for Torbeka's play.
Was that okay, Grico?
Yeah, just remember your lines.
Keep it well done.
I hope someone were to come see, Princess Torbeck.
That's your chance, Sir Morgo.
You have a deed, a feat, an ability.
Use your great strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma in order
to send the tower and save Torbeca.
And so the brave, brave Sir Morgo faced with her first task as a knight.
A very typical classic one, the audience is familiar.
with saving a princess it doesn't get more classic than that and then you'll hear a you'll hear like
all a rattling as there's very someone very clearly someone with Maracas that sounds like
the rattlesnake and then Grico will look at you and we're all dressed snakes
I put these in like a big tooth sock
and I'm just like it covers my head
Oh my head
Oh it's there morgo
Watch out
Dangerous snakes
Oh no
Hey you
I'm the snake named snake
I make spaghetti
Just like every snake
I don't got no hand
And if you try to meet the princess
And I'm gonna really just awkwardly start like
Cab Calloway dancing
Big, big jazz brass music
Just blayers through the audience now
I'll wrap you up, drag you into my hole
Cooks forget without no fee
I'm the snake named snake
and the princess you owe me
Give them, fellas.
And we'll run out and we'll just surround them.
No, don't die, Morgo.
Defend yourself.
He's not going to look around.
These are just, nuzzling at Grico, which is one of the snakes.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Oh, oh.
I like to imagine that each of you have rolled up red scarf in the pocket,
but inside was like a fish.
And so like, who do you just grab that and pull it out of your pocket?
Oh, you're just dead rats.
That's exactly what happened.
We all have dead rats.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Trinny, you are a great monster slayer,
as is the classic, nautly trope of slaying a reptilian beast who saved the princess.
Orgo.
We didn't even stay the chance.
Pop-ha handles.
Amazing work.
I can't believe you were able to fell such foul beasts with your might and courage.
Oh, Torbeka's hero.
And she'll, like, be trying to do kind of up-ease to Torbeck as she's up against the window.
Torbeck will just reach through the window with his extremely long arms and, like, pick her up to bring her up to the top of the tower.
Oh, well, Torbeca is a frog and needs a kiss.
and you'll see as
who'd see
does like this
and then she goes
and like
gives you a little peck
on the cheek
oh that was nice
thank you
my hero
sir Morg
and I'll like
place her back down
this makes her
uh
a willy wug sad
wiggle wog
sad
I was want to do
willy walk
that's why
you can call the wrong
no no no
it's fine
whatever
whatever
this makes mugglewog
sad
I read that from the script.
And Grico will have, as this is happening,
he will have been like a scraping himself,
like trying to army crawl off stage
so that he could get,
go back and start doing his costume change.
He says,
And with the poor damsel in distress,
Princess Torbecker,
saved from the vile giant snake monsters.
That was her first nightly act
of great heroism and bravery
and reasons why she should not be beheaded
and slain in a terrible, terrible political public execution.
Roll a performance check and advantage.
No, you...
Oh, me?
Oh.
You're going back and saying that world, man.
You're propagandaing them.
Oh, double 17s?
She didn't have any of the juice, man.
Am I crying?
So happy and so sad at the same time.
Really, this voice reached out to me from across the stage and just touched my soul or something, man.
The audience is listening with bated breath, and as you say these words, you can hear the muttering.
What do you think that Mourou set up?
She sounds like such a valiant night.
Oh, this is interesting, the intrigue.
We must see what happens.
Simon, sit down.
You can pee after the show.
I tell Simon's 90 or 9.
Yeah, right?
And you'll hear over, like, almost kind of like muffled,
oh, great, the purplicated, oh, this is too long.
The brave Sir Morgo and her dear, dear Wigglewag,
who Morgue very, very deeply loved as a friend.
She was not afraid to die
Oh, Braitherto
They continued on after saving a princess.
What better
Knightly quest to follow up
than saving the most
innocent creature of all
The child
And you'll see that
There, that the lights will dim
And it'll very clearly be a night scene
As there will be
The sounds of crickets and
and cicadas and all sorts of nightly creatures,
which are literally just brought in by the stage hands
of these giant bugs.
I presume there's giant bugs in the small, right?
As there will be, and then there will be strange,
like a strange glow that is held up by the frogs
as they hold lightning bugs or fireflies,
if you're not from the Mid-Atlantic.
As it has a night swamp scene,
as they will wheel out what looks like a very poorly painted well, very similar to what the
Faywell party had experienced, as the four of us will walk out in just black turtlenecks
and pants and just a bright, glowing, circular mask that our heads are through.
Sir Morgo
Surely we shouldn't continue
Through at night
I'm scared
You couldn't do this twig
He's not scared
They're all naked
Their winders are out
It's okay
And Twig
We'll walk out onto the stage
She looks between each of you
Do I do this song now?
Quicko do I do you this song yet?
Yeah
Got this Twigsie
Thanks, kid
As we did drown
In the Wall of Faye
Suffering in that sets
Away
And who shall set
Our children free
Good night
Show us away
Oh, whispies
We all drowned
Did we drown?
Yes, we drowned
Oh, whispies we all drowned
We are drowned
Dron in the well of Faye
Vagony
Oh, we would drown
Oh, drowned Wednesday.
Oh.
We're children.
Children.
We're children and we drowned in the well.
Oh, but it's just so sad and tragic.
I'm a good.
Oh.
It's so sad.
Sir Morgow.
Oh.
Do we die now?
No, we already died.
We were drowned in the well of faith.
You sang a whole song number about it.
Oh.
Oh, if only our souls could be freed, and we don't get eaten by a giant spider.
Only there is a good night to see, boss.
We've seen you defend us against terrible snakes with your great strength,
but there's no escaping these scary, scary, scary ghosts.
Boos or whatever will you do?
Boom!
Samorgo!
Boom!
Please help us.
Could you please please?
perhaps do a stylish jig
and that will be so adorable and cute
that our souls will be freed
because you are the most beautiful,
talented, charming little girl in the whole world
and is a lot cuter and more well-behaved
than everyone else's child in the world.
I think that would work.
Yeah.
What do you think, ghostly friends?
Yeah, that's what I think too.
I can be convinced.
I have my own thoughts and feelings
and they're not things I'm reading off of a script right now
is how I feel.
Me.
We have agency.
Will a wisp.
I am Willa Wisp dead.
And seen.
And seen.
And who's you?
It's a tourist.
And I'll reach it and I'll grab the glove out of Torbeck's back pocket.
Oh.
Sorry, it's moist.
And I'll slide it very suddenly onto Hootzey's paw.
And you'll hear,
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun and suddenly
Hootty will stand up and like
there's just a normal owl bear, but it's a strangely human hand
in a white glove.
Sir Morgano, your dancing is as fierce as you're fighting.
I can't believe it.
You are so grateful and powerful.
And she starts,
doing a very slick
number, dance number, and she
slides around the whole stage
moonwalking.
And suddenly there's a hat
and there she has a jacket and pants
out of nowhere. Her costume has changed.
It's the magic of the theater.
How do you do that thing with the leg kick?
That's really cool. And with this happiness
of the dancing, the will of wisps
feel joy.
This stylish jig,
you shepherd in my will of the wisp
form onto a peaceful,
after. Wow.
Oh, that was the most
stylish dancing, and
you could really never do any wrong,
Sir Mogo.
Your wonderful
selfless act of dance
has shown that the power of the arts,
which should be supported in your local community,
has set all of us
free. Goodbye.
Thank you for saving us.
Come on, Luca. Come on, Fred,
children.
I'm blessed to pray.
Yes, at least temporarily.
Come on, Joe, thank you.
We're all just awkwardly shuffling
off the stage.
How did I do? Did I do it?
Oh, you did great. Oh, my goodness.
Twig passes out.
She hyperventilates and passes out.
I read the rest of the script to see her parts.
I think she's fine.
She impressed. She impressed with hearing all that out.
Sir Morgan, will your talents ever stop emerging?
You are so valuable to any
community that would have you.
And she does the whole hat,
Toro and puts it on her head.
And then moon walks off stage.
I must follow,
for I am in love.
And it was
tragically
a moment that made
Sir Wiggle Wog
even more in love with the Brayu
Sir Morgho. However,
that moment,
Morgo had realized how supportive Wigowog was
and meant and realized that he was the perfect
best friend
Oh boy
Oh boy
Is this a tragedy or a candidate
Yes
Oh and
However love was on the mind
as they continued onward.
They have saved a princess.
They had saved children.
But Morgot had not conquered the realm of love.
No, not love with Wigglewold.
That was not meant to be.
She loves Wigglewog from a certain point of view.
Like a little brother.
Oh, my.
Oh, my
Holy God
It's over to this landing down
Yeah,
Wiggle Glock
Stop, stop, it's already
did
Literally
Oh, God
The vegetation's growing out of
stairs up at the moon
Bravely holds her morgo
rode forth it on her way
She was not afraid to die
Oh, Braves her morgo
And revered in the song
the songs of
depressing kids or
the beautiful
bellowing of a bugbear
princess, she heard
the crying of
a strange fire
elemental or lava man
it wasn't very clear
as she hears
the sniffling cries of bemoaning
unrequited love
and as they approach
as they approach
wiggle water
could sense that this person might also be friend's own,
but he wasn't sure.
He was probably doing a lot of projecting
based on his own situation.
As there is, as the stage shifts,
as there is a large, a cauldron place of where,
the stage hands have taken a big,
a driftwood cauldron and put it in front of where the well was.
And it very clearly, it looks like the inside of a witch's hut.
I step out on the stage and I'm I am in what looks like so the black leotard and they have just like glued rocks and big cardboard cutouts that look like flame painted and like orange and yellow and I have giant like flame eyebrows that come off on the side and I take center stage where we fucking go
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
My flame's a joke, no smoke.
My love life's a D-O-Way.
It's like I'm stuck beneath the witches bro.
I shrink behind the cold joke.
When Reagan Rachel's not in my life, there is no red.
everything's blue
I am here
for you
and the town cold down fall
thanks Tweezy
I am here for you
I just wish you would call
I am here
for you
I wish you were here
with me too
Man-man-namam-man-man-ma-man-ma-ma-na-na-na-na-na-na.
Well done.
And yes, it was the fabled,
Caldron Ember Elemental, Ragnar Ross,
heartbroken, and love-struck.
Very similar to brave wiggle walk.
And Houtiles walk up and just sit in front of Gideon.
Sir Morgh, no.
You are clearly a match made in heaven.
I don't have any feelings about it one way or the other.
Little did we go on.
This was all just his insecurities.
As Ragnar Ross was not interested in brave Soramogau,
as attractive and beautiful and friendly and heroism.
work and chivalric as she was.
Wow, you're smart and beautiful and wise and strong and dexterous and very charismatic.
But I can see that you don't mean that I should fall in love with you.
No, there's another.
There's another.
Oh, is this, Rico, is this one up where I come on?
Oh, I guess.
It's just, it's just his fire question mark.
I mean, face something.
I guess I'm just too.
Yes, we cut scenes, scene transition, because it's very avant-egarde,
filmmaking, scene transitions across the swamp in probably a very cool volcano layer.
And you see, like, absolutely state-of-the-art, incredible volcano layer set that's rolled out.
All of the budget was blown on that.
It's very clearly that Grico got the idea that it'd be cool to have a volcano layer.
Oh, my God.
When are we going to have time for the well?
Get to the fucking volcano.
Yes, is that little, although Ragnar Ross did pawn for Ragnar Rachel,
little did he know.
His feelings were not as unreturned as he thought,
unlike Wiggle Wall.
Jesus.
So sad.
As it cuts to a soul figure in the, uh,
in this really state-of-the-art volcano layer stage.
So Cremie will be sitting there.
And instead of having like cheesy rocks and like cardboard flames,
Cremie has found yet again another silicone bust.
He's wearing a tight red cocktail dress with heels and a bright red wig.
and the only thing that would
denote that this would be a fire elemental
is his bright, fiery red lipstick
and he holds a picture of
Gideon
like framed
and just like on top of the glass
there's like lipstick like fire on top of it
and you'll hear this music sting
of just light piano
On my own, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.
On my own, pretending he's beside me.
I mean, ragner rocks.
For you, my heart is burning.
Without him, I hear his embers crack.
and when I lose my spark I think of him and he reignites me in the swamp everything's
grows like liver
how many things it's over his fire is life enough to make me quiver
In the hag hut, the hearth is full of raw stuff.
And all I want is him and me forever and forever.
And I'm like on this very high budget, like, expensive leather.
Like, sit here.
And I'll like, go out in a volcano, right?
Yeah.
So there's like huge a lot of smell.
Yeah.
crashing up and then swelling down.
The audience is in awe.
They're gasping and they're holding onto the edge of their seats.
With every burst of fake fire and lava,
they feel the emotion in you, Ragnar Rachel.
And they come along on this journey with you.
You do not need to roll for this.
They buy what you're selling.
And the audience explodes in applause.
there are tears streaming down faces
and you hear,
"'Dear Rachel, we're only on a break,
so it's short, I hope so,
that should come to our senses.
Well, to be fair, it wasn't communicated,'
and they start arguing.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
As we cut back away from the really awesome volcano layer,
that is definitely in hither,
we return to our brave, brave hero,
who's in the midst of giving love advice
to Ragnaross
and he's starting to feel a little bit better about it
he's not quite sure if he'll do anything about it
but anyway on with the scene
and who's just looking at you?
Sir Margo your words of wisdom
seem to be swaying Ragnarose
in his heart
you know not just what
how to wield a sword
but also how to wield your
wisdom and sway someone in this way.
What you're saying is I should build a fire that is so large it reflects the love that's in my
heart for Ragnar Rachel.
Wow.
Well, I'm going to do that and it will smolder the likes of which nothing's ever seen before.
You'll be able to feel the heat of my love.
from even the furthest and coolest, and by coolest, I mean hottest volcano layers
that anyone could possibly be hanging out in.
Go forth with Sir Morgos' wise words, and they will know you not just as Ragnaros,
but also as the Moistmaker.
Oh, what a great time.
I love you. Thank you, Sir Morgo.
Ragnarosis forever in your day.
Ragnar.
Rachel will be happy to have you, I'm sure, now that you have...
Now that I make moist of...
You've spoken with Sir Margo, a valuable asset to any community.
Across the swamps of Hiver, after speaking so passionately about love and romance,
Wugge Wogg cannot help
But feel his own heart start to swell
In affection
There's dear, comrade
Sir Morgau
It's actually just cardiobastic
And as
As they journeyed
As they journeyed with
Ragnar Ross
To the really cool volcano land
Everybody's there now
she said of how
much she wished she could find love one day
like that that Ragnar Ross felt for Ragnar Rachel
and if only
he had all of the qualities
of Wigglewog and she wishes she could meet someone like him
but not exactly him
bravely balls for her
and on her way
she was not afraid to do that meme
of like, I wish I gave me a guy like this.
Hey, not you.
I'm literally a guy in pick.
And then it'll cut as we're like it's basically kind of a half stage of the witch is hot
where the lights go out.
The witch is hot doesn't move.
It'll go back to the half set of the volcano lair as the three companions meet
Ragnar Rachel as they're all on center stage to.
together now. Oh, Ragnar Ross. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your well-paying professor
of paleontology job? That you somehow got up the age of 24? Well, I was over there, but now I came to find that
I actually had no marketable abilities to conduct the role. And so, and beyond even that, I
knew that there was something way more important than paleontology,
teaching people about it.
And what that more important thing was, Ragna Rachel,
was my burning desire for you.
Oh, Ragnar Ross, I'm so glad that we finally come together
after holding it above our fans' heads for 10 seasons
and using our consummation of our love to gain some of the highest ratings seen in television history.
I love you, Ragnarals.
Oh, Ragnar, Rachel.
I love you, too.
And I can finally see its importance.
Thanks to Brave Sir Morgogh.
Goz, he'll give you a pal on the back.
It's a smash cut to Grico reading his own script.
Now let's kiss.
Yeah.
I'm just a stage kiss right.
Yeah.
And so in love.
Me too.
Gosh, I think that we just can't keep kissing like this
because our flaming passion will burn this whole world to the ground.
and scene
and as the two lovers
embraced how it was a victory
as all of the hearts in the room
swelled it was a short-lived happiness
as the sounds of shouting and jeering
emerged from outside of the volcano layers
as we ran out of budget so we have to use the same
two sets
as the dreaded
evil villainous, awful,
uncharismatic,
and kind of an all-around
dick.
Agon, the brigand prince of Prismier,
attacked the volcano lair,
as Torbeck, Twigsie,
and Grico,
dressed in rabbit costumes.
We'll be jumping around.
We'll come out on stage and I'll be like,
Ah, Torbeck is now playing
Agden Longscarf,
who is very much alive,
well and how,
Don't ask anything about it.
Ready?
Yeah, I got you back.
When you're a hair, you're a hair all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day.
When you're a hair, if the fur hits the fan, you've got brothers around, you're a family man.
You're never alone. You never disconnected.
You're home with your own.
When companies expected, you're well protected.
Then you are set with a capital H, which you'll never forget till you're claimed by a witch.
When you're a hair, you stay a hair.
That was Dormack's other song.
Thanks, Twing.
Yeah, that was your...
Hey, we heard that there was love going on here, and we hate love,
and we're going to steal all this set and be just generally very nasty.
Yeah, but beat you up.
But then we're also going to get away.
and be perfectly alive and healthy.
Yeah.
We're terrorizing the whole swamp, including the volcano layer.
You know what we hate stumps?
We never want to go to a stump.
And only a brave knight that could defeat us
would ever send us to a stump.
That's very unlikely,
which is why I'm stating it right now in this moment.
Right, boss?
That's right.
Yeah, and when we come to get your love,
we're going to do it like this.
And we're going to basically circle in
the round of,
everyone as we're snapping menacingly.
And we're bouncing back and forth.
We've been a beautiful idle animation,
combat animation.
There is nothing you can do.
You won't be able to achieve your end.
Shut up, she doesn't love you.
Brave some-
But she can defeat you because she's perfect in every one.
Yeah.
Brave some order, will you,
will you defend us and end their threatening snaps?
And with that,
What?
Is there, did Mikey give you a script for this?
Oh my god.
And so with that, Grico's gonna be like,
and they'll be like big band music
and I'll be like, b'b, bha-b-b-b-b-bh-bh-bh-bh-bh.
The Star Trek fight with Gorn.
Yeah, gore music.
And it's like really badly choreographed.
We're doing TURL.
We're doing TURR's.
Tumbles.
And who's just going around.
She's just going around, like, giving everyone hugs.
And she's standing up giving hugs.
Oh, I'm so...
We are not slain.
We are very alive and well.
That's right.
Oh, I know I'm starting to want.
You'll regret it.
Right, boss.
We're going to tell on you, but to our secret boss,
Scabafar.
Even though we're saying that we're working for Bavlona,
we are actually working for Scabafar.
And she's going to...
for you.
And we, I guess we have to go to the stump, right, fellas?
You got to get out of here.
She's flawless in every way.
That's right.
She is flawless and did the most stylish chicken
gives the warmest, softest hugs ever.
It's a shame you'll never know.
The warmth of her embraces your line.
Yes, the shame I never know the warmth of her embrace,
Fred.
That's fine.
I don't care.
To the stump.
It's clear that he's very obviously seaving,
but we are defeated.
To the stump.
To the stump.
And we'll slip away as we snap.
Well done, Sir Morgo.
You've once again defeated evil
and defended the land that has trusted you
to do that, to do that thing.
I love you so much.
I just hope I know today in a terrible apple.
And so, after showing this chivalry of standing up for love
and standing up to bullies, remember, every single bully I've ever met
couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut until he was fucking scared.
So stand up to your bullies and punch him in the face, kids.
That's the moral story.
The more, you know.
A couple of bullywags attached to harnesses from the ceiling are like drank by you carrying the more you know.
Yeah, exactly right, as this happens.
And then, however, they continue to walk through the swamp, but a strange gassy mist washes over them.
Ooh.
As, as, uh, wiggle wog acknowledged just how perfect.
Sir Morga was in every way.
She had defeated the snakes and saved the princess.
She had set free the poor children what was tortured in a well.
And she stood up for love and stood up for love and stood up two bullies.
There's no way she could be turned to the dark shot.
Let's be going to saying that.
Many musicians and you just sing that.
I really wanted to do this, done the scary.
music sting.
And oh, we return.
Suddenly, as they walk, the strange swamp gas covers them,
and suddenly they are in a strange hag hut that is very much not the same as the one
where they met Ragnaross in.
It's very different.
We just couldn't afford a budget for a new hack hut.
And we figured, why not just reuse the same one?
as
as they enter
the hut of
scapefow
and you'll hear the
panting as the
it'll just be the exact same
a hut
except there's just a fog machine
that's just blowing like green fog at
sir morgo
I
was scared in previous
adventures with you
but I know if I stay close by your side
then I'll be protected
What do we do next?
You will never be protected as long as you're in my gaze.
And Grico will shuffle out with like a humpback and a cloak with the like worst Halloween,
Spirit Halloween, which outfit on with a big, even though he has a large nose,
he has a bigger greener nose with warts all over it.
And he has fake teeth in that make him look nasty.
Sir Mogo, you defeated my secret double agents of the herring gun.
And you've done some really heroic things.
And that makes me mad.
Because I am very nasty.
And I am scabher.
So I could not possibly defeat you because as your friend's own,
man-surfing size you are perfect in every way.
So I only have the choice to seduce you to the dark side.
Join me and we will rule the galaxy forever.
No, Sir Morgau.
Yes, Sir Morgau.
No, stop.
You can't be seduced.
You are too pure of heart.
Hey, Grickle, am I in this scene?
No, no.
Oh, sorry.
No, you're not.
You're not in the scene.
No!
No!
She will join my side.
Stop talking, men, servant!
I'll point out, and then there'll be a stage hand that has, like, a green bolt on a...
On a...
...popsicle stick, and then run over to...
...toad wiggleog?
No!
Not wiggle water.
I'm going...
Ah!
He gets what he deserves!
But now you must join me.
And now you will have a great soliloquy, and we will have a duet.
And I will then kind of call out,
As Mogo faces her greatest challenge yet,
the evil witch known as Scabafar, she begins to sing.
And Gricko will scamper behind Hootsie,
and will, like, grab her arms like the keyboard cat or something.
In-slave, she shes.
to me in dreams he came who goes now and do him and he's like just doing the wave back and forth
because he's not an all sitting and just like this and voice he inside his heart
and then griggle run out as he jumps back into his hag form
Green froggy, gross strong voice he'll be mine.
As he runs over behind Hootsie.
No, you have seen its noise, your best is my.
The crowd absolutely arrives.
And just Hootsie will be like,
and she'll be actually over at Frost's body on the ground, like mezzling him.
I'm genuinely concerned.
No, no, no, I'm pretending it funny.
I'm acting. I'm acting.
You dare defar me and say that you would never, ever join Scaberpha,
and that you find my actions of secretly working to infiltrate Hither
and sabotage my sister's goals with the herringone and the darklings and everything else,
and that it's all my fault, and I'm at risk, and you are actually saving the realm?
impossible
as I'm walking backwards out
and no one has ever
rejected me before
you've rejected me home
as
Grico walks off stage
am I dead
I forgot my line
and with that
she revives
wiggoog
with she knows she
She looks down at Wigglewog and considers that perhaps her dear friend what is
slay, what is down on the ground from a magical spell, perhaps can only be revived with true
love's kiss.
But she thinks for a moment, and just to be sure, she'll try a healing potion first.
Morgan, you are so smart you have recovered me, I am restored.
I, uh,
without waiting any gifts,
is you were able to revive me.
And she stands up on her hind legs and says,
it just does me.
Yes, Sir Margo.
Thank you for your sisterly affection.
And then Hootty turns around and then continues to walk off.
And with death,
the brave,
brave Sir Mogo did everything that she could to
save the realm of Hiver until it was a whole bunch of stuff of the broom factory and like a
fairy dragon and it was all scabbit's fault please trust me on it I swear the end and the audience
erupts in applause as you make your way behind the curtain and prepare yourself for taking your
final bows and as the curtains rise again you all move forward in tandem
Torbeka moves forward to take her bows.
Mikey moves forward as the narrator.
Ragnar Ross and Ragnarachal.
Twig and the gang.
And lastly, Wigglewag and Morgow
move forward to take their final bows.
And the audience arises for a standing ovation.
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
is an orchestral version.
Like medley of all the songs,
the melody.
The audience is enthralled, and you hear chitter chatter.
I can't believe that more of all the things she's done,
fighting for love, saving children, friends sure that she was able to have gone to bring in.
Hey, do you stand up?
And all of this is happening at this moment.
And as they clap and they clap and you make your final bows,
and then you hear the trumpeteers go.
they let out a loud boom
as your attention is drawn to the boxes at the back.
Box number two, you watch as the light extinguishes
before you can see whether there's even anybody in it.
But the king's box is fully illuminated
as the king stands up and clears his throat.
It is by royal decree
that Morgow, Knight of Warts,
is cleared of all of all.
charges and that is where we'll have the session.
Propagenda!
We're here in this round of applause. We did it.
Thank you for running the session, Nikki.
I'm very proud. Thank you for staying late to finish the point.
Great work, gang.
I'm exhausted.
We did.
We did.
We did it?
We did it?
I was exhausted at nine.
It's been a week.
Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Adventures podcast.
We hope you enjoyed the session.
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to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier higher to unlock Shroud
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