Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 31 | Electrum Chef

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

The Krew splits the party as Kremy takes the stage to compete in Electrum Chef featuring four surprise judges...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/FUXPTpWzskM?si=ySYkFi23oq8BVBqF

Greetings. You're listening to Legends of Aventress. My name is Morning Frost, and this is Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. And we've got to figure out a plan to, you know, kind of do a little bit of political machinations and change the culture with a little bit of subterfuge and cultural revolt. And your attention is drawn to Babylon of Lightstraw. If she says that Torbeck is the one, the kid is not Torbeck's son. Yeah.

All right. Let's go talk to Bablorn. Brian Rowe. You may think the king rules these lands, but no, it is I, Baffornan. The newest members of the Soggy Court will be performing an opera. A legend is sung of when Morga was young. Torbac, Torbac, tormack. Dormac, tormack, dormant, tormack.

Midnight not to sound from the pavements, has the moon lost her memory Cucks forget without no fee I'm the snake name snake When you're a hair you're a hair all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day The ground disgusting scapifoy is here Inside his heart Buhbba bbba

This is enthralled Like her who's life saving children, friends earning a best friend, making sure that she was able to push back that awful herring god brigand. Simon, I'm talking to you! Stand up! As the king stands up. It is by royal decree that Mogo, knight of warts, is cleared of all charges. You had prepared as much as you possibly could, given the rushed timeline of the events. And thanks to some fay magics that imbued some of you with unnatural charisma and singing abilities, some of you surprised the rest with their natural singing abilities.

Together, it was enough to impress the soggy court who had longed for entertainment of this caliber for quite some time. It was so impressive that it was capable of changing the minds of many about the deeds of one. And it is here that you stand on the stage, staring out at thunderous applause, tears streaming down the multitude of, multitude of faces as they relish in the performance that was just enacted for them. As you watch the king rise and announces that Morgue, the night of warts will be reinstated and has been cleared of all charges. An uproarious cheer erupts throughout the throughout the auditorium and you are awash in praise and glory as the lights move around and you realize that they are the bulb of giant fireflies and as the

bulbs move around and shine from each of you and you're given individual plaza you watch they all directs towards the king who who makes this speech and then the bulb shift to the box where there should be pebble in a blight straw But it is dark, now illuminated, sitting in the very center of this box, is one tiny lorneling with a twisted smile on her face. And as she gets up and hops away, you see fluttering down to the lily pad she'd been sitting on is a letter. It rests at the top. The crowd gasps and begins to murmur. The king seems nervous and uncomfortable.

There's silence. for a moment as everyone tries to understand why their patron, Bevalorna Blightstrel, wouldn't be here for the ending of this play. But quickly, the king clears his throat and announces that this is not the only festivities for today. As there is one more event remaining,

Electrum Chef will be conducted in the grand kitchens in promptly one hour's time. And should everyone prepare for the feast of a lifetime. I'm going to be crowd with the promise of food immediately, immediately turns their attention from the empty box. And back to you as they cheer and applaud, it is announced that Morgau will be retrieved from her holding cell

and will be given a place of high honor at the dining table this evening. And the theater begins to, the patrons begin to disperse as you were ushered back into the dressing room behind the stage. The uproarious cheers, applause, and excitement begins to fade away as the patrons move out into the rest of the castle. The theater hands rush this way and that, but slowly the nightly duties have finished and you are alone in the back room with roughly an hour's time before you are to be at the grand kitchens. Do we have agency around now? Oh, you all, which is great.

Oh, you read every single line on the script perfectly. I can't believe what came up with that in long, 15 minutes. Nice good I. Frosty, you did wonderful, as Wiggle War. I mean, just being so hopelessly depressed in friend zone, you were just an unnatural. Thank you. You were natural, Frosty.

I owe much of the performance to whenever that magical liquid is, though when I first started singing, I probably started an octave two higher. Yeah, I mean, we didn't really have any previews for this or nothing, so I mean, I feel like given the circumstances, you know, we achieved the propaganda rising that we was hoping for. Morgo seems to be freed. That's the decree of the king, and we succeeded at least in one thing. It is remarkable. I can't believe we pulled it off. Hooray!

Good job, fellas. We did it. I mean, I'm just a little nervous about what's coming next. Oh, Torbeck is due. Did we find those hairnets yet? Torbik, before we talk about our coming to Lecterchev's challenge, can I ask you, did you also imbib on the magical singing potion? Yeah, how much of that stuff did you have? No, Torbeck wasn't aware that there were any free samples, or Torbeck would have helped himself to all of the samples. I had three myself. You could have had some, but you...

Why do you sound the way that you sound when you talk? when you talk. What is Frost me? D'Oybeck sang like D'Omba talks. No, you didn't. Your voice took us on a magical journey. I mean, it was beautiful. I've never heard anything like it, man.

Yes. Torbeck, you have a gift. Don't hide it in a bushel. Dormac thinks that you're all making fun of Torback. This feels like all the other times you guys made fun of Torback. Now how much money we could have made with an act like that? Well, who was going to climb the Ferris wheel? We could have done that between sets.

I mean, that would have been easy. Oh, man. Dormac doesn't know. Well, hey, I mean, you know, if we do get a little bit of a down payment from Mr. Roslov on this quest that we're still on, I'm reminded of presently. We might be able to use that as a nice down payment to actually, now that we've done a little bit of competitive research, the, I'm twirling my cremmy mustache that I don't have. A little bit of competitive research with the Wichelard Carnival

we may be able to do round two and make all of the money in the world with Torbeck's lovely singing roles. We'll see. Tourmec isn't sure. Torbeck doesn't really have what it takes to be a headliner. I do agree, Grico. It is important for us to remember why we're here,

what our purpose is. If we get enough magical items that we could perhaps sell and get the debt removed, our lives would no longer be in danger. During downtime, I propose that we take inventory, the things that we find and earn in this strange land. Any further reason to risk our lives can be up to us, but... Ah, abeba. Habba, hubba, ha, ha, ba.

You feel that all right? What's the matter with you? I just had a realemization. Toolback. Yes. Got sucked down, I mean the Faywild. And we enjoyed the rest of our night. And it was just a couple of hours, right?

And suddenly five years passed for him. We've been in the Faywild for a couple of days. Yeah. Yeah. What if it's already been 30 days for Mr. Guru? Can he get here? Well, no. Well, it's the reverse, man.

It's like seconds in the normal world. Yeah. He was five years here. That was a couple of hours for us. So we have less time. We have a couple centuries, I think, is what kids? No, what if it's, oh, what if it's five years at the times?

Can Mr. Guru get here? Oh. What if weeks and months are passed? No, hypothetically, if perhaps the reverse happened in the extreme, decades could go by, and he could die an old man. Just 15, 20 more years for him, I imagine. Oh, right, he's a human, right?

Yes, exactly right. He's a gambling human who owns a conceit. boat. Oh, you'll probably die of old age and we'll be Scott free. You're talking about Rosliffe or about Guru? Guru. Yeah, I wouldn't count on that. Why not? You think he's got more than 15 years, like 16, 17, 18? 19. Maybe 20? I'm just saying that he's got a pretty juicy deal with a death lord. You know what that is?

No. It's a world of death. Uh, oh, is that when you're like, Oh, what a dear, what a dear, if we don't pay up, he's going to make us look like empty caprice. What a dear? That's exactly right. What are you trying to say you think guru can't die? I'm not saying he can't die, but I'm just saying if he's dead,

there's nothing to say he's going to not continue to be alive while dead. If you catch him a man and man. Who imbibed on concoctions before the performance? Well, it was bourbon. I had three. You had three? Yeah. So you didn't? Instant diarrhea.

Oh, and yeah, you didn't. Okay, I need you to roll D20s. I need you to roll 3D20s. Oh, God. Oh, well, Torben always has diarrhea. What, you thought that it's going to be free? No. Nothing free in the freeway.

I got a free. Oh, natural 20s. And a natural one. Unbelievable. Wow. I agree. I mean if they cancel out, right? Wait, so what did you get?

A one and 11 and a 20. That's like a perfect spread. Look at that. Yeah. Yeah. I love a good perfect spread. What did you get? Nice.

16. Like a sandwich. Nice. Nice. I would like. You may continue to enjoy your R.P. Whoa, we can. Do you give my number?

I did. Yeah. So if he's a Jeff floor. Yeah. I'm just trying to remind. And also, and oh, I don't have the fourth wall breaking thing. We don't have an audience. Krami, you're pacing around as you're talking.

You're explaining about Gru. You're being very Italian with your hands. And you begin to notice that your feet are drawn to every edge corner and thing on the floor. No matter how carefully you walk, you keep stubbing your toe. If there's nothing to stub your toe on, you step on a caltrop. And, wait, and my hand. No, I just imagined you were like,

Cremie just talking with the Sam. Oh, no. So he could be... I'm saying, we can't count on... Oh, fuck! Oh, wow, I'm okay? Where is this Ottoman fucking come from? Was that here before?

Yes, yes, it's been here the whole time. Yeah. I'm sitting on it, Cremie! It's very comfortable. I'm walking at heels, come with some slag. Oh, yeah. You know you can take your costume off. Yeah, just remove your costume off.

costume, or at least the shoes, they're probably the only one who's still in your costume, so I mean. As you say this, the Kremi kicking the, what was it, you said an Ottoman? An Ottoman, yeah. A puff of dust has erupted into the air, and as you breathe in and you say this, you begin to feel the need to sneeze. And you feel like you're on the edge of that sneeze, but it never

comes. Oh, no. Oh. Oh. Frosty, are you okay? Let it let it out, Frosty. Let's just right on the edge one moment. Cucumber, say cucumber.

Cucumber. Say cucumber again. It always works for me. Cucumber. Cucumber. Frost, do you have to use the restroom? No, I need to sneeze. It's just, I'm right on the edge. Just one moment.

I'm going to... Okay. Well... Yeah, false alarm. Oh, oh, there it is. It's coming. Okay, I don't go any more? Here it go. Oh, here it goes. Look, okay. The point is that the first thing Rosloff said to us

is that he wanted to die. I think he's going to die well before Guru does. But what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, is if can Guru get here? What if it all passes and then Roslough dies and he's like, oh, well, because you didn't finish it while he was alive, we cannot execute him. his will to give you to go. I'm only doing this to you, Mace, because I'm a horrible person,

and Derek put this on here. Every time you laugh in real life, you take 1d6 damage. Oh my. No, that's not possible. It can't happen. All right, fine. I'll never laugh again.

I'm gonna be a constant professional. You're about to see a Mace you'd have never seen of before one time. If you actually do this, and I know that you can do it. Do what, Andy? I've never laughed at one time in my life. entire announcements, I'll choke you out. That wasn't even a little funny what you just said.

Wasn't funny? It wasn't funny? It wasn't really? It didn't even land a little bit in me. I don't feel it in my forearms or my chest or my buttles. Is him willing up inside me? No, it doesn't count. No, it doesn't count. Nobody said anything funny. Do you, Mikey, please? Give him something. Give him something. No, no, no. Okay, okay. You're still on mute. You're still on mute? No, it's not.

Nope, we still can't hear yet. Try. Oh. Oh, there it is. How long have we been in this pandemic, and I still can unmute myself. Anyway, Karen, you were saying, I think that's right.

Let's circle back on that later. I hate for breakfast. Okay. Where are we going to be? Okay, purses. Oh, wait. We were talking about wrong. Oslam and this guy grew

Yeah, A, there's no guarantee he's going to die. B, I don't really know how old he is. C, I think even if he does die, he won't actually be dead. I'm sure he's going to be some undead fucking death lieutenant for the rest of time if he plays his cards right. And, you know, see, I don't want to watch him. Watch out from that. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Crami.

I don't know a shotgun both of you have five things. Oh, it's his one. Trane in my heart. I think three points of damage. Oh. I shouldn't have taken my heels off and my, you can see my pinky toe. It's just like, turn out. Baha, what he's been saying, we had a bad digger.

Kool's always out of bad heart. Just watch where you're stepping. Is it really... Where are these, where's this all coming from? I don't want to look at it. Anyway, what were you saying? So, I mean, doesn't matter how old these. Can he get to where we is?

And if we run out of tongue, we may have all of the riches in the world after this, but he's like, oh, you're out of time. Time begins to stop, and everything goes black and white. As Frost, you step to the front, a spotlight shines down on you. As you're looking around the room, someone is the culprit here. You are now a noir detective. This won't be funny at all.

He couldn't land this in a million years. I watched his, Premi, he stubbed his toe in that, Annaman. And I knew. I knew that there was trouble on the streets. Trouble in the soccer court. Hmm. I was going to look for that, Mace. Take three points of damage.

I reached for my revolver. And I knew what it was time to... It's like the gun that... ...ex points of damage. That twig carries around very suspiciously. suspiciously oh the one out get up oh you mean this one she pulls out a revolver yes oh be careful with that all right you knocked out a bunch well just that one patron it's made of toys oh just of toys oh just of toys yes yep you're not feeling fine man okay

a weird thing for her to say I'm responding as any person normally would just in shock I know you kind of were like huh oh no no no no right now it's been getting you look like you're putting you're a oh Greg no more chance you're making it sounds like a pig ratting and then the final one was a 20 yeah so this is going to affect everyone. Oh, God, no. You must all complete each other's sentences. My point is that

in order to get the job done and get the money to Garoo, one's going to have to pay the man back. Of course, there's no other choice. Gideon. Correct me if I'm wrong. You've always been a fan of parodies, right?

Do I have to finish the fuck? You like parodies, right? Well, sir. I like parodies. I'm not going to count it. I was a minor. I wasn't even a chuckle.

I was just was, pleading me. I was just catching out. Oh, oh. You mean, do I like a pair of these nuts? Oh. He was smarter than he looked. That was the end of the sentence.

Otherwise. So what exactly are we going to do in an hour when we have to compete in Electro Chef is what we're going to do, and we all need to prepare, at least each one of us needs to prepare one. Banana hammock. I'm sorry. What are you going to say? I mean, Torbeck is still just incredibly concerned about the whole.

Banana banish. But more specifically, like, the two dozen Oshelahmack. Oshar rules that prevent Torbeck from being in the kitchen. In the kitchen. Fuck. I guess they do it on my age. What he did it? He's wearing him in the checking that fucking siggo.

He's like, what's damage by the way? Oh, I'm not supposed to know about that. How many is it cost to clear them? Three. That's for Mace. No.

You can leave it. You can leave it in. You can leave it in. You're going to die. You're like... Not super soon. I've got four laps left. Statistically.

I'm clearing the finish each other sentence. Okay. Okay. That one's difficult. That's a really, yeah. Okay. I have caught a nice dish. Okay.

I have caught a nice dish. All right. What's your plan? Well, here's the thing, fellas. We gotta, you know, at least make a well-balanced meal. I don't know how many courses there are, but I don't think I should be the one doing all the cooking. We're trying to impress them and gain favor for all of us. It's like I had to fucking sing and...

You're not. I'm not on the door. What were you going to say before we answer the door? We don't want to compromise ourselves. Well, okay, real quick. Just so we're not keeping them waiting. Tourback was going to offer, you know, to make dessert, maybe a pie, but it'll just end up being a hair pie.

He was more disgusting than he looks. One challenge. How about this? If there's no hand net available, could we like, can we like burn it out off? What do you think? quick. You want to set Torbeck on fire?

He's like 80% hair, man. You want to burn his hair off? He doesn't need a hair net. He needs like a fishnet body suit. Well, you know, like a trash bag. You have enough, right? We'll just do it enough to it. We'll just, you know, trim him up a little bit. You want me to trim up

his entire body? Oh, yeah. I mean, right down. You're going to have to get up way up deep in Torbeck's grundle. You know how madded that's going to be? Severely.

Oh. I actually, it might be more economical if we use the wax from that costume I had. Oh, it's a great idea. Get can heat it up. Will that be a little painful?

That'll be fine. What do you think? It's actually like 20% chance you enjoy the process. Well, in that day, Damn. You're so, baby. Roll.

Mickey roll. What do I have to roll? Pain. For pain. He was doubled over. Six. Oh. He's laughing, and Gideon's just, like, fully bleeding out of his nose.

Yeah, yeah. Like, ears, a little bit of blood. I can already tell that a plan was going to be together. Pretty soon when we were going to find out how much pain to take. You, uh, he... I love these two together. I really do. You hear very faintly as your...

very close to dying. Laughs for the laugh, God. Honged for the home throne. You do, yeah, that actually haven't. But someone did knock at the door. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. We'll ask you in a moment.

Come in. What a do? Welcome on in. Your greetings. Hi. Oh, hey. Hello. Hi.

My name's Angelica. You're probably looking for me, famed theater director. No. I'm looking for all of you. Angelica. Angelica. Angelica. Angelica.

Angelica. Angelica, it is a pleasure to meet you. She had legs that went all the way from the waist down to the floor. Firstly, isn't that how that's true?

Yeah, I did have legs like that. Johnman. Do this to you, but I'm going to need three or four of you. to come with me. Well, but there's six of them. No, there's six.

No, no. This is a whole group package sort of deal. It's like I had to wear this. I should probably change, but yeah. I mean, is it something that we could all come? No. Since you're the one that's going to be doing the electrician shift, I've got to do something with the other four.

You can, I'm going to do it because it's so hard to do. Oh, hello, governor, in it? Oh, hello, governor, Angelica. Sheet chips. Angelica. Oh, we will not be participating in election chef. Wait, you mean I got to do it all by myself? Yeah, that's how it's got to work. God damn it. This is going to be your voice now.

This is what a voice is like now, because it's just going to be so much easier to do. I didn't hear anything else, Jeffelica. I'm so glad. Yep. Thank the God. Storbeck doesn't have to bake a hairy pie. We figured that the thing that was going to be the best was if we let the little one go with you and she could be you like sous chef. Right? Oh, right. Yeah. We can handle

that. What do you think, Twig? I mean, yeah, you're going to need at least a few knives. That works in the kitchen. Here, you're going to have my dagger. It came in my starter equipment. She grabbed them by the guy. Trusting. On my character sheet. She had eyes that could see things that were around.

You liked my earlier comment. I'm glad. Yes, I did. She had hands what could grasp. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And if you score enough points, you win the game. The plot was thickening,

just like the soup that Kremi was about to make, or the rue that Kremi was about to make. Well, I'm gonna make a soup with the roo, so we could have to... I guess correctly. Can you handle a high-pressure environment? I never ever said one time the act in longscarf, try to kill the buddy, and I killed people with my bare hands. That's right. Last time you got under stress, yeah.

I mean, metaphorically speaking. Allegedly, allegedly. In the play. In the play. Yeah, yeah. In the play, because I'm not an actress, you know? Oh, yeah. And I did that play, and that was really stressful.

I haven't seen the whole song. I mean, if you needed sous chef, I mean, I did have some of jobs in the kitchen. of Uncle Globo's restaurant. I gotta say, man. She's wearing a whole end. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. I've worked at Uncle Glover's restaurant. Look, look.

Look, I'm even wearing an apron already. It's very appropriate. Thanks. Well, right? Oh, Angelica, you still hear. If you can handle it. Cucuba. Bless you.

Cucuba. But bless you. Bless you. Angelica. She should be all I need. if this is how we want to do it. All right, yeah, we think that would be the best because we really should remove the rest of you.

It would be an unfair advantage to have all of you working on one side. Where would you like us to go? We just need to have you step outside. You're going to take a little potion that will alter your state of being for the contest. And we've actually found a great way for you guys to be able to help out. She had a job for all four But we were willing to take it

All right Torback supposes Dormack will go But you know we don't have to count out The hot max thing There's still time for that We have time for it back wings I mean just to try it maybe

I'm worried I got worried That after hearing that our bodies might transform and there was hot wax that this episode might be a thinly disguised exertion of the writer's fetishes

it was like an episode of totally spars well if it all makes us inflate and expand lads it's been a pleasure serving with all of you I'll put out my fake cigarette it's just like candy

I love how you're doing a prompt, but you aren't. I do, I do. I feel it left out. All right. Doorback's ready. All right, we just have to go on outside the door. Oh, let me bring the wax. Sorry.

We'll leave you here. We'll leave you here with the. Hold on time. We're going to leave you here with. Dormac likes that sound. And it makes him all dangleing. Dormick's never felt that way before. Oh, yeah, don't stop.

You take two points of damage. Clear it, clear it. I'm in the danger, you know. Oh, I'm gone. Oh, my eyes are bleeding. Oh. You might have an aneurysm now. You'll probably go to the hospital after this second.

You blood pressure, what's got a high. That's saying a lot for five to now see. So, I'm going to go ahead and execute. That's not the word. I'm going to go ahead and escort you guys outside of the room. We're going to, you're going to take a quick potion for us. In the meantime, you and your little friend can have a talk about how you want to make this work. And a list of ingredients you're going to need for the show.

We'll then have, Twague was your name? Yeah, I'm Twaggin. I'm Twig. I'm going to be a future. Chef. Nice. All right. Well, yeah, you're going to bring those knives and whatever list of ingredients Mr. LaCrook here wants for the show to me at the kitchen. And then you will be able to do whatever you need in the meantime to prepare.

We'll come collect the rest of you when it's about time. Does that sound okay? Escort away, Angelica. I've got your best. I really tried on that one. That's devastating. Of course you'd get that first. That's a nightmare.

I picked it for it. Oh, you just junked it? I love that. Since it was, oh, and then this is a new list that Derek has sent me. Thank you, Derek. Oh, God. He was like, I have a new list. So whenever you wanted it, I was like, send it to me.

And he was like, no, no, no, no. But for like next session or whatever, I was like, no, send it to me. Because I knew that I was going to twist. I knew I was going to dread them for certain things. So thank you. That was beautiful. But they were, they're compressed in a way where they don't have numbers. So it makes it really hard when I have you roll.

to know it was. It was my pleasure. Thanks. Anyway. Is there any chance real quick in the hell was a potion seal? I've never taken 36 points of damage so quickly. Are you kidding?

Your eyes are bleeding. You look like shit. I don't know what happened, man. We were talking about wax and torquack, and then suddenly my body just gave out on me in a matter of rinsent. Did somehow chuckles return again and is corrupting you from the inside?

I heard something in my head, man. I think he did return again. and he whispered something kind of vaguely nefarious at me. He's always doing that. He's always doing that. He's vaguely nefarious. Yeah, it's always something different, you know?

Some kind of like horrible thing that never seems to connect to the previous horrible thing. Yeah, I mean, how many backstores can one clown have? Oh, many. Yeah, this turns into a clips episode. It reminds me of an episode of Totally Spied. Because the fetishes I wanted so well.

I was, I wanted so bad. I was so... That was in me. That was in here, you, you know? Oh, my God. We were willingly drink whatever mysterious body-altering potion

you may have, Angelica. Not very picky. Angelica, leave the way. Angelica, I have a question. Yeah, sure. I probably have an answer for you. I can't believe it.

Why is your name not Angelicroke? That would be a stupid name. Who would have a name to get that? I guess from four. frogs are a little bit on the nose. I'm not a frog. I'm a bully bug. Exactly right. Yeah.

Let us go. And would you like to follow me? Good luck, Mr. Crammy. We'll be in the crammy. Yeah, hey, good luck, buddy. You're going to knock that out of the park, all right? Yep, yep, yep. Just don't, like, burn anything down or, like, break anything or make any deals without

my presence with no knowledge, you understand? I'm just saying. Well, we ever even come close to doing something like that. Well, it never happened. Are you kidding me, Kramming? I just narrow my eyes at all of you. I'll see y'all later. You have my word.

Thank you for, I was keeping eye on them. That would never happen. I'm never one. What do you mean you leave? We leave. They're just stepping outside for a minute, so we'll be doing a quick split screen. Close the door on Cremie,

and I wondered if I ever would see him again. The four of you, step out of the room. and follow Angelica down a small hallway and then through another door where you are met by 10 bullywugs and white coats. They have goggles on their faces, and they are white gloves on their hands. One of them snaps the glove,

and you can hear the rubber slap against their froggy skin. As they begin, they're hovering around a cauldron, and they begin to chant and stir some things up and start pouring things in vials. And they have ridiculous German accent, They do. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

End scene. Back in the room, you were standing there with Twig. So, I had to be a steer chef, and I need to know what you need to know to tell them what they need to know about what you know about what we're cooking. Well, can you take orders well? Yeah?

Well, I'll just tell you what to do. Okay. I should get changed. But do we have to get them what? No, I've got to get in my list of all your drawings. Oh, oh, I mean, I got the list right here. And I'll rip a piece of paper out and I'll pass it to her. Is it a list of ingredients?

Oh, that was way easier than I thought it was going to be. My orders were to take this directly to the kitchen and never come back. Like, never come back? Well, I don't know. She didn't say it came back. She said I go to the kitchens. And then you would be escorted there when it was your time. I mean, that should be everything I need.

I did prep a little bit. I mean, I didn't write an entire fucking opera. I brought some ingredients down, you know, I knew this was coming. Yeah, so let me... Is there anything I need to start preparing before you get there? We have about 40 minutes, my skin says. All right, if you can... If you can dice to the vegetable,

sharpening this knife here, if you could make sure that all the ingredients are laid out in different stations. Do you want me to label them? I have a label maker. What's a label maker? Oh, it's my hands. What I do is they take me...

the paper and I write what something is on it and then I stick it to something that makes labels. Uh-uh, well, you can go ahead and label whatever you'd like. Okay. Whatever, you know, any kind of organization system that you think would help you. I mean, you're going to be doing half the work, so, I mean, you need to be able to navigate and get the thing just as much as I do. Okay, I can do that. I'll leave it up to you.

I will. Now the silicone sort of stick into my skin, so I'm going to get this off. Oh, you don't want to look like that when you cook? No, I just feel like that. I should get in my normal, get a- Okay, well, you don't need to worry about me watching you get dressed, because I'm leaving. All right, well, I'll say you soon.

Okay. I'll go behind like one of the old-timey dressing my screens. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Partition, the accordion. And as you hear that sound, you hear the door shut and Quigg, you can hear her sing songy as she bounces down the hallway

and attempts to make her way towards the grand kitchen. She's still in the room. Bye, grannie. As we approach the doctors, I want to... Oh, you don't approach the doctors. Oh. You're pulled into the room, and the doctors are staying very much at one side of the room. They are surrounding a large cauldron that's bubbling with an effervescent magenta liquid.

Not the same color of magenta as what flows through Torbex veins. It's much more diluted. But I would say it's very clear to see that in whatever this is, there is clearly some trace. of which length. I would like to look up at Torbeck and see if I hear his, do I see any visible sign of distress? You would see Torbeck's eyes would be like bigger than normal and he's very clearly damp. So I would like to, do I hear like, vz, and I'll climb up your fur and I'll get in front of and like, hey, it's okay, buddy, it's okay, it's gonna be, I'll close my,

my eyes. Come on for a moment and the moment Come on, come on, come on, you're doing great, Big God. Oh, my dream dreams. Grots before my eyes, a curiosity. Breathe, rubber, big God. Dust in the wind.

Okay, okay, you're okay, big God? Were they loud, with a loud popping sound, you see these pink butter, butter, bubbles fly through the air and as the bubbles pop they burst into these beautiful butterflies with their wings unfurling they float up into the air and dissipate as you you watch Angelica dawn a white coat she puts her goggles on and her and gloves and she goes over and she begins to take vials from these individual doctors thank you so much thank you thank you yep yep yep no one for each of them I

I got it, I got it. Don't worry. And you hear that they are bubbling over there. It's just hard to understand what they're saying. She turns around and begins to walk towards you. She has four vials held in her hands. And you notice that though what had come out of the cauldron was that pale magenta, what is in each of these vials are varying colors, green, blue, purple, and red. You know, it doesn't really matter which one you take. The effects will start in roughly about 45 minutes or so you got some time. You really just got to pick your color. Oh, don't worry. It's not going to kill you. The effects are only going to last

tops. Two hours, most likely. Dormac isn't one to turn down free anything, but what is that? Oh, they're transformation potions. It's going to be able to make sure that you can't unfairly affect the competition because you, You are currently on good terms with the king. You are best friends with one of the chefs. We can't really put you in the audience because your cheers and guffas could overall affect the engagement of the audience. And that has a factor.

We really wanted to try and make it fair. And this was the best thing we could come up with. So we're going to turn you into something that's not quite you. Okay. This one kind of looks like doorback blood. And Torben will reach out for the purple one. Perfect. And it's in a glass.

It's in a glass file. Torbang hates this part, and eats the whole glass file. Oh, man. Oh, you don't, oh, good. Oh. Yeah, all right, sure. I mean.

Oh. I'm looking an eye on the plungers in the thing, and I'm like, sorry. Oh, song. She has to drop a water in an ending. Let me see you. Okay, be tired. It just, and it hurts a little when it goes down.

You got a shot of teeth. I mean, shit. You got a shot a glass between your teeth. Oh, no, that was the tooth. Oh, no. I'm not sure another one will go back in its place. Oh, you don't just put it back in. Oh, no.

At least take the glass out first. Oh, gums are gummy enough. Torbay was pretty sure it'll hold. With a suctiony pop, it re-adheres to his gum. Charter glasses still there. All right, well, we got three left. You're doing great. You're doing great, I guess you're all right.

Okay, I'll scave her back down from off of his shoulder. Well, we're good for this, guys? Well, Torquack's in, I guess, so. What part for me? There's blue, purple, red, and what's the other color? Green. So there's green, blue, and red. Angelica, I'm not one who trust.

I slapped Fralsy on the back, and I fucking clear his chair. Oh. You hear a saxophone in the background. It was time for me to take my leave. That I said, good night to the soggy. Oh, God. Thank you. Oh, my gosh.

I'll have the green blades. You take the she hands you the green vial. Booming your bad genes. Torbeck, once closely, Torbeck, I need you to see this. And as you drink it down, it is tight. Blue's my favorite color. And she will hand it to you, but as you do this, you feel the magics infuse with your body,

and it is a warm sensation, almost drinking like a nice glass of scotch. you are, you feel fluttering with the wings of butterflies in your stomach for but a moment. And had you still had any kind of fake curse, it would be wiped from you. I keep smoking anyway.

Where did I get this? I've developed an attachment. She hands you the blue one, and you are able to drink that down. Well, it looks like reds from me. No, it's very fitting. Once again, similar sensations. It's a warm sensation as you swallow it,

and the feeling of butterfly wings flapping in your stomach, and you are healed to mix. But you got to learn to handle your body change in magical witch potions that get made up in weird cauldrons. We don't know anything about it. You can't be coughing like that. It's embarrassing.

I mean, all I ever drank was beer. Remember how much I would cough whenever I just smelled your flash? Oh, yeah. I have a very lot to me. Except for gross things in the swamp that I farm. Oh, good times, yeah. It's wonder that you can eat rats and then cough for that, you know?

With that, we can take you back to your friend. I don't let him know what happened here. This is super top secret stuff. We don't just let it. Whatever, it's fine. You just took a potion. You'll be all right. Go back, talk to him.

You got about looking at the time. Okay, yeah, you got about 35 minutes now to really prepare for this. You'll be escorted to the Grand Kitchens and then from there we're going to take you away and I'll let you know what your role is in the oncoming Electrum chef. What can we do for 35 minutes? Oh, and take these packages. These are your outfits. Don't open them until you get to the kitchens and she hands you each a package and then there is a package for crummy. I'll take that one.

Well, let's go back and watch the first half of an episode of planet earth what well all right whatever that i guess we're not doing anything else at the time you know go you always have to be such a job the best thing we could be doing while waiting for something to kick in let's go long hallway seems shorter when i was a film noir detective yeah oh we just stepped outside the door and we were right there. This is actually, I'm a gosh, you know, it's also a little

soggy, the shag carpeting. It's just, not a good choice. I'm glad Cremie's not here. The shag carpeting would have absolutely destroyed that picnic, pinky. Oh, yeah. Torbeck feels like a moist shag carpet.

Don't worry, buddy. We'll wax you, okay? You'll get the experience. All right. Tarmec isn't completely right. Dormex heard things about hot wax Occasionally

I don't think it'll be the same experience For you frankly Really? But you know Talked about it with Clementine One of the other guys You were able to have open communication like that It's really important

Yeah I know how it is Yeah that's all cool That's rough That's rough funny She's been a little cold Like Dore makes a little concern You know

I don't know. What are you in? Torbeck doesn't know. Does she have like, is she like a guy at work or something, like a work husband she jokes about? Common Dine hasn't said anything. That's what they always say. It's classic Clementine. Five years maybe since Torbeck lasts off Lemonide.

It's been a long time. I'm sure she still thinks of Torbeck. I'm pretty confident she's right where you left her. right in the exact spot. Probably has moved an inch. Did we turn down the wrong hallway? This is... Torbank doesn't recognize that.

Oh no, we skipped ahead in the plot and we're in David Bowie's labyrinth. This is the end game. The script says, oh, this is the end of the script. Let's turn around. Let's turn around. Let's go, let's go. Oh, God, it's Muppets. They're singing behind the Muppet's saying.

The door opens us twig. Twig leaves the room to head towards the kitchen and you see the exact room you're supposed to be in. We all stumble and sweaty like you. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no, oh, God, damn. Oh, there was such, oh.

God, he didn't leave anything to the imagination. Did they just transform y'all into just your sales but scared about something? No, no, no, no. It was just a large number of jerks. German people with gloves on who gave us these potions. They should kick him quickly. And we also have the outfits.

Yeah. Oh yeah, you got one too, man. Here's your box. They said not to open them until you're near the kitchen. Cremies says open immediately. Oh, there you go. Disregard what Dormack said. It is a complete chef's outfit embroidered with chef's LeCrew on the breast pocket of the coat.

but it is the full chef's regalia and there is a magical tool belt that will, that will, when attuned, and you do get to keep this, I didn't write up the card, but essentially it is when you attuned to this chef's tool belt, up to three times a day, Electrum Chef, notwithstanding,

you can produce any ingredient, pot, pan, or whatever to make something. Hot damn. So you could essentially make one gumbo. You can make a gumbo in the morning, a gumbo in the evening and gumbo at suppertime. When gumbos on a bagel. When gumbo at a day.

It allows you to make three square meals a day. And when you use it, you procure all the things that you need. You make the thing that you need and then it goes back into the belt. Oh, hold on. Invent gumbo bagel. You can call it gum bagel. It doesn't wait. Gum bagel.

Gum bagel. to keep this. I was going to roll my sleeves up and put on my chef's hat. Look at this. There's a brand new chef's hat that's emblazoned with the crest of the soggy cord on the room. I already had my old dirty, like, chef's hat, and I look at the pristine one, and I'm a little, I'm a little sad about leaving this from behind, but I look at the new one.

All right, one more second. I got to change it again, and I go around the dressing screen, and I get totally changed, fully put up, and I'll adjust. my mustache with my lipstick. And I will emerge from behind the screen. And do I feel like I get the sense that I can use it now? Yes, you feel like you have attuned to it immediately.

And for the Electrum Chef, it has unlimited uses. Oh, you'll be able to create whatever you need to create. Now your skills are required to make it taste well, but you have everything that you need to make it. It doesn't create a delicious gumbo. It creates the gumbo that, that you can make with it. Mr. Crammy, that's beautiful.

Yeah, man. You're looking like one of those chefs that works at a restaurant that charges for water and that's kind of normal. Yeah, right? Yeah. How much we could charge for ice if I walked around looking like this?

Oh my gosh, people will pay actually that won't even consider it once. Yeah, and you could say it's fine, donning, and it's like, this will be $300, and it's a little dollop of moose, and you can call it deconstructed cheese steak. Yeah, you could go around with like probably a little mushroom and just shave it onto the plate. And every, every slice is like 15 more gold.

Hold on, slow down. Oh, invent deconstructed cheesecake. Okay, all right. One time, Tormack went to an open bar and they charged Torbeck for soda water. How much they charge you, Torbeck? Five goldbees. Five gold pieces for bubbly water? What the heck?

and you're still thinking and seating about how many people have it been? Oh, at least a decade. Torbeck's never even seen five gold pieces, and everybody was drinking for free. You know, just never let that go. You know, I feel like, you know, it's, it's, we'll just don't, just, we'll give you some free soda water here. For what it's worth, Torbeck doesn't really get mad.

More just disappointed. Look, all of this is one thing. With that soda water, I mean, you're going to carry that weight, so just keep caring it. It's been a decade. Never been in sight, so you're probably right. Oh, yeah. So, we don't know, A, what's going to happen to our bodies, B, what's in our own packages. So it's going to be a bit of a mystery surprise. Check this out.

Pachow! And then a spoon and a knife. Oh my God. Yeah, this thing's incredible. I'm pulling links of sausages out of my... Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Wow.

Oh, wow. They're all raw sauce. No, no. Yes. Yeah. Oh, hold on. I know. I saw my instinctively screaming at you in the oven.

Like, I'm in that death, we're in. Can you produce cook food? You cannot. But yeah. Oh, no. It's just a raw chicken. Oh. Just put it right over here. Open flame.

Once it'll take like probably 30 minutes. Yeah. Oh, that's good. I mean, you seem to say in cooking chicken. In 30 minutes, you'd have a beautiful rotisserie chicken. Oh, well, there you go. I mean, right now before I go in. Stop the time.

You gotta kind of come it back and forth, like one of them. Like a bell all. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. What else can this do? What else? Guys, we should start writing this down. I feel like with all of these skills and items will gain, we can make a pretty cup of piece.

cup of piece back home. No, I mean, this is... Far away from Ogway. You know what's missing. Let's get up. Well, uh... In your package, you seem to have left behind

some chef's condoms. What? The hat, the... All these lambskin? I don't know. Why do you keep getting condoms? Oh, it's in the baggage. I was just thinking...

Just the only... Yeah, yeah. collection of loose gondoms out of that's insane was like to have out of you like he missing his blitz difference this is it very

that where you were burned oh it's me hoppy oh I assume that's where my balloons win the chef's hat, the chef's knife, their chef's uh outfit yep and the stuff's kind of

yes that's that's I don't know what you do I'm not a cook. I'm glad I'm not in your shoes. Yeah, just remind me to never eat anything from wherever you're from. All you really know how to make is hot sauce. Get some random facts about Spain. There's one thing that's missing.

I open up my compact again and I pull out my black lipstick and I add a curl to eat that. There we go. What do you think? What do you think? Yeah, it looks right. Mama me. Here I'll go again. I know you got a new fancy outfit. We need a chef, crem-y chef's kiss him out.

Or an apron. Or an apron. Do they do aprons on brinkful? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's amazing apron. They actually think they do. We'll check.

We'll check. In the works. I don't think you get it. I wasn't going to say anything. I don't have a cool new outfit and everything that summons up everything you need, but we can't go in there with you and, uh, you know, oh, you can take this knife, man. Oh, I'll hand over the forlorn's, forlorn's remorse. Uh, it's a, it's the sharpest damn knife I've ever come across. Nothing you're going to find in that kitchen, that can't

cut. Is it, is it, like, disrespectful to cook with this thing? No, probably not. I feel like it's, like, whispering at me or something. No, just don't strike anything so hard that it replicates what would be like a critical strike, because I think that kills you. Wait, hold on, what? I don't know that that's true. But just don't hit anything too hard with it, man. I'm just saying anything you want to prepare in the kitchen, use that back. All right, I'll do it for you.

Did somebody say something? Do you guys hear that? What a pot of door. Does anyone speak dog speech? The knife whispering to you? Yeah, I know, I don't think it's going to like being cooked with. No, I think that's just a clown thing, man. I don't think that's related to the knife.

I hear lots of things all the time. Normally it's clowns, but I think that's just kind of like in relation. There might be just some kind of like brief holdover as it's passed along. Listen, you don't have to cook with it, man. It's not a nice chestnut. Look, look. You can't take the party with you. You know, that's a little bit of us coming with you.

It's extremely thoughtful. Yeah, all right. Damn, all right. What did you call that knife? Oh, the, uh, the, uh, you know, it's like the forlorn, uh, yeah, it's like a forlorn. Is it going to make the food sad? Well, shit. Well, I hope not.

That'd be real, real fucking bad. You know, my one contribution in his old shindig was to fucking just, just, just tank it for them. I'm happy to contribute as well. I have a bag of beans. Would they help? Yeah, a bag of beans. We love beans. What kind of beans are they?

I mean, I can see my menu. See if I can add them. I don't know. They seem to be just normal beans. Oh, those are definitely cursed beans. No, they were magical beans. It was explicitly told to me. I mean...

I mean, that was pretty good. No, no, no, that's going to explode in your stomach. What? Why did you hand that to me, man? I didn't think you would eat it. Why would you not think that I would eat? You think 5d4 fire damage. Every single, it's a fire. I'm marking one up.

It's 5D4 fire damage, okay. No, I'm serious. I just pulled healed from all the laughing. 12 points of fire damage. Oh. And lots of internal bleeding. What? The next time I pull a magical item out, don't say, oh, I'm going to eat it.

You handed it to him to cook with, man. What did you think was going to happen? People aren't going to eat it. Raw beans. He knows how to cook it. He knows how to cook bomb beans away from blowing up. I just gave him the warning. Don't, like, you know what?

Here, let me, let me look up. Jesus Christ. I'm never getting these goddamn beans out ever again. Well, I've rolled. the two. What, how much damage did I take from the, from eating the bomb fruit? I think it's 12.

Yeah, 12. But aren't you resistant to fire damage? I should be six. Oh, it's fire damage? Yeah. 24. That actually would have destroyed the innards of anyone else who ate it. Yeah, that's true.

I didn't write down how much. I meant to look how many I had. Do all of them explode or just one of them explodes? Just one of them explode. Just one of them explain. That would have been a TPK. If we got gilded by his loaning magic feet. So I take half of whatever five-border game.

I fail. I fail. I've rolled the five. If all the beans go off, this would be the real false flag. All of a sudden, the kingdom goes off, floating. A bomb has gone off. We'll right over the pipeline that feeds straight into the... We'll turn a new campaign next week.

You pass. You still take half of whatever 5D4 is. As Grico, as Grico stumbles forward, I think I'll only have like four of those left now. I'm all really low. Those who failed take 16 points of fire champion. Yeah, those who passed take half of that. And as this happens, one of them hits,

Grico trips over the Ottoman that Kremi has kept in the middle of the room earlier. And he stumbles, he's able to keep most of the beans in his hands One of them flies and lands onto the cobbled floor. And as it hits, it sparks for a second, and it's fine, but then it bounces. And you see it begin to shake and pop. And then it bursts forward. Those of you that are more dexterous are able to jump out of the way and hide behind something.

The rest of you are shocked by what is happening here. You're blasted backwards. You're singed and scarred. You're wounded from this. I'm picturing the gem from episode one of Arcane. Yeah, I don't know. It's literally... And the building levels.

Well, shit. I need him the rest of the game. It's actually more from from episode three of Arcane. Oh, my. It's like a tactical nuke. I looked at as a pipe through my chest. I haven't kicked in yet, and we're making a mess of things.

Every five minutes, it's just outrageous. Yeah, oh, man. Too bad you can't cook with the bomb beans. Yeah, I see what he means about the hot sauce. I'm not cooking with those. We hear? Yeah, no, I mean, unless I want to kill the judges and then we get out of here, but, I mean, I... The last time I offer you one of my beans.

Rickon, do you have anything to offer? Are we all offering something? I think I need some bananas. Yes. What if I get one? Mm-hmm. Just one being. Yeah, I think it could flavor the whole pot of gumbo.

I have no idea. You don't have it if you want it. Slight of hand. Not I'm sorry. Just get you're kidding. This funny, oh! It's like the buzzer that the clown does. Yeah, yeah, 14, I'm fine.

Well, the DC was 15, so. Ha! Ha! Ha! Would you like some magical bananas I wouldn't mind I don't have any way to heal it. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I need to use all of my

spell slots to get more. I mean, yeah, actually for the dessert, we could throw some bananas. Always going to make some of Uncle Globo's famous banana pudding. So I'm making something in the vein of it that I can throw some bananas on top. It'll be the same thing. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, let me get you some bananas.

Okay. What? Well, it's a little hard. I mean, Torbeck doesn't really have anything to offer, Mr. Crammie, you know, unless you change your mind about Torbeck's hair pie. You know, Toolback, that's very generous, and I know that you don't have much hair to spare, but I don't think the judge is... Okay, okay, you take ten, crammy, there you go. All right. I feel like we need to, here you go, Torbay.

Here's five. Frosty, you look at. Yeah, he is five. And I'll take 10. Oh. And I'll use free Spouse loads. I'm out instead of the high. It's okay.

I won't. I don't need any but then. Is there any way you can give me? Yeah, you're made of fire. I pull a little like a tiny one of those small. Too late, too like you have a out of a pocket. Is the only way you can give me just a touch or whatever's in there? Torbeck tries to look over his shoulder and that's hilarious.

Turns around in circles a few times trying to like look at the The tanks. Maybe. And I'll reach out for the jar. And what I would like to try to do, Nikki, is Torbeck will focus as hard as he possibly can. After hearing these horror stories of things that have happened without his knowledge, to see if he can manipulate his finger into some sort of a proboscis hollow needle to see if you can get some of the witchlight out.

I will say this is going to be very difficult, but it is doable. I will try. Perfect will try. It is because you have to focus, and it's not part of yourself that you're really tapped into, I'm going to have you make. Hmm.

I would say Torbeck is doing this fully expecting it to fail, but he's trying to see what will happen, just to see if he can manipulate anything. Yes, Michael. I'll just say, are we sure that this is gonna, you know, bring out Mr. So-and-so, Mr. Scary guy. I mean, he seems pretty in control right now. Faith and our good friend told that.

Just remember. Just remember. Dusts in the wind. We were told that in low doses. This shit's like drugs, right? If I can just use a little special ingredient on every dish, the judges are going to fucking love it. I'm going to have you do a history check because you are probing your memories in the hopes of remembering something. that would give you a clue as to how to utilize the witchlight inside of you. Ooh. Wow, that's a good one.

So it does say that I have advantage to recall information about Faye Fiends are undead, but if you don't think that that applies, that's okay. I will say that my plus a zero- Given the situation and that this particular fungi is a solely found in the Fay Wild, yes, I will allow you to use that. My plus is still zero, so, you know, it is what it is. But we'll try.

Come on. I got an 18. That is enough. Oh! You're on the menu, boys! However, you are probing into your mind and you see glimpses of white lab coats, similar to the ones that you had just saw, you had just seen today. You feel almost a crack inside of yourself as you hear a voice

scratching at the edge of your mind, asking to get out. out. For a moment, it feels like this entity is going to overtake you. But you are able to push it away as you distinctly see the two lab coats side by side in your mind and your memory and that they are not the same. But this vision, this image you're conjuring of your finger turning into a proboscis and dripping the liquid witchlight into this vial stirs up another memory. memory. Another proboscis. You can't large, much larger than you would expect from something like a sturge or any other insectoid creature. And a hood, a hooded figure. And just as you feel like the image is crystallizing in your mind, you hear that voice again asking to be released and you stop the memory dead in its tracks, as you focus on the liquid flowing from the tubes through your body, out through this new formed proboscis

on your finger, and as you will it, so it is, his one tiny drop of which light lands in the vial. As soon as Torbeck sees the living needle that his finger has become, and the single drop hits the jar, Torbeck will very clumsily, like, set it down on the ground because he was kind of hunched over it. and like, like shrink back.

You all look as the files on the back of Torbeck's shoulders begin to bubble. Now do, oh, hang on. Nothing lasts forever but the sea and sky. Now, he's the thing, he's there, he's there in the back. It's all right, man, you're with friends. I'm here with us, man. It's all right. You're safe, you're safe.

You're safe. You're right? DORMEC thinks so. All your money, not another minute, buy. Did it work? I mean, that's plenty. Dushed in the wind. You all right?

You're all, big guy? Dormick just thought he had some thoughts. It's okay. But they're gone. It's okay. Dormick just needs a minute. That'll do. I just got a crazy idea.

What, Kramack. Watch, Cremay. It's been pretty crazy so far. Well, hold on. Just hear me out, all right? If you learn how to do that in high quantities. And I will say you suffer one level of exhaustion. Ooh.

Oh, my God. What were you saying, Criley? If he learns how to do that, get used to it, cut this with grain alcohol. We just go back to Agway on the west side of the Crawdad quarter. We sell one of these for a thousand gold pieces of pop. Cremie, do you see how much that is? What I just did the tour bag?

That was just a drop, man. Look at him. He's in the corner. He's shriveling up. It's okay. You haven't eaten your bananas yet, toolbar. Torbac is worried that if Toramac tries that again, man. All right.

All right, fine. Bad idea. I was just, you know, if we wanted to go home. It was a very bad idea. Just sell, you know, jars of this glowy stuff. And so I will summon like a little jar of green alcohol or munchon or something and just like, sort of cut it, right, like with

and the entire unit a little bit. And so that it's like more than just a drop. And it's, I would imagine it's still a little pink, but the closer to clear, and I would screw the lid on. This will do just for that. As Torbeck begins to recover lethargically, he'll like stand up,

but like tall and thin and stick to the corner shadows and move around the corner of the room and just like almost just stick to the darkened corners where the lamp light is flickering around. He's not gone, but it's very much she's, like, hiding and skulking.

At this point, all kind of whistle over and Hootsie will just approach you and she won't leave you alone. And she'll just be like... And I'll just, like, Torbeck will just gently, like, stroke her back and, like, pet her.

And she just nuzzles into your hand. Oh, isn't that nice, she isn't that nice to snuggle with Uncle Torbeck? Everything's gonna be okay. It's quite nice. Yeah, I mean, here's the positive side of it, man. Even though it seems like that was pretty horrible for you and you just produce a little droplet, I mean, the good news is I was all for this cooking competition, the Bulletwood

Kingdom, and that seems really important. So, you know. Right. We have a quest. We have to do it. And even though we don't necessarily have to worry about that guy, we have to take. tight pants, we're still going to take care of him because Mr. Guru ain't all of our worries and you're helping us with him, so we're going to help you with that tight pants, man.

Right, right, we can do it. Exactly right. And winning this will probably help us in some way that I can't think of right now, but I think it will. All right, well, I think I'm ready to go. Anything else? I've got the knife, the bean, bananas and... The job.

It's just a matter of waiting and finding out what happens when this stuff kicks in. Yeah, it was a very odd scene. There's a lot of experimentation here in the Faywild that I wasn't quite expecting. If I was going to go, I've got a pixie wing. Oh, I'm a little fairy tale creature. Yeah, and they never tell you what's going on. And those frogs. Drink this, you know, mysterious potion.

Yeah. And there's no question. Yeah, and there's strange frogs. scientists with the accent sure got a cushy gig uh cushy gig after the war it seems a little large you know i don't know why how they pulled that off after that uh you know war with the the owl people on the giants yeah yeah it's a little strange this retired here working on potions feeding them to strangers who knows what the heck will happen some reason i really could go for a cigarette foster we need to tell me you didn't pick up an addiction just from us from which lot

transformation. It is around this time that Angelica returns to collect you. She opens the door, no knock this time. Well, it's about time. Are you all ready to get this done? I think so. All right, well, follow me. When we get to the fork at the end of the path, I'll let you guys know to go right, and you're going to go left. All right. Oh, just don't go out of that door. You get lost on space time, there are Muppets. Don't we all walking together until the end? Okay. Let's go.

That other door is like an aha music video. Yeah, na na na na na na na la da da da da Let's get a frame of these. And with that you will make your way down twisting hallways and through the soggy core you are making your way back up to one of the higher levels, one of the non-submerged levels of the soggy palace. And you do find your way. yourself eventually in an area that clearly looks like service hallways.

And you see other chefs milling about this way and that until you eventually get to a long marble floor hallway that is illuminated with these beautiful wall sconces that shimmer and shine with hundreds of fireflies in each one of them. As you make your way down, you do pass a door that is marked for with a star and it says Electrum Chef on it. It's clearly the room for your opponent, but there is no name that you can see on there as of yet. And you continue to make your way down the hallway

until you come to a split, and it is here that you are directed by Angelica to head down the left hallway, Cremie, and you'll find a door with a star that says, Cremi LeCrew, you're to enter that room and prepare for the event. While we're walking... The four of you will follow her to the right.

Before we get to the fork, I'd sort of hang back a little bit and I say, hey, get it. Yeah, what's going on, man? Let me just get your opinion. Just, you know, if you can keep that between me and you. Yeah, yeah. In terms of branding, that's what runs my view as about it. Okay, yeah, I like this so far. So the first one I got is buy you do.

It's pretty good, right? Yeah, what are we talking about for the drink? In case we, you know, manufacturing from 2007. Oh, yeah, yeah. So Bay, do you do? Yeah. That's top tier, yeah. Which is brew.

but instead of blue spelled normal spelled B-R-U-E And he's throwing whom loud over the U And man, it just sounds fancy I don't know what that means But it's sad, it just looks more fancy All right, that's option two Option three is pink magic

You know, it sounds kind of like I can get fucked up on that You know what I mean Is that a little too, you know Well no I mean No one's gonna know who's selling it You know I can't be like Oh what to do

I'm not gonna put my name on it Well where we're gonna sell it man We're just gonna sell it off a cart in the middle of the street like you know it's gonna be out of a shop you have like wall art get trench coats and shit no we're gonna send that down down to the alleys and stuff say what guys look we're gonna build numbing round empire kid okay then that last one option four is glow shine that's pretty good right so i don't know anyway just just dwell on it but let me know if any other ideas this is just my first you know we'll work on I like that brew one that was

good which is brewing oh yeah you know what a bit of this is kind of normally a you idea but consider you just add a little dye to each one, and you just charge a little bit more. It's all the same drink, but you just name it different things. Like, this is the enhanced version. You know, the witch's brew with an oomelot. We just had a little bit of, like, you know, crushed up pink bugs or something. There you go.

It doesn't make the difference. Charging it for gold piece. Easy. Or 30 or 50. Yeah. Well, you put a little gold pieces in them, a couple gold flecks. You charge an extra hundred gold pieces. That oomlade over the U was worth at least a hundred gold.

Does everything. You charge for the lettering. Got to pay for the name. Anyway, I'll start thinking about logos. This is actually just Richie role-playing himself. T-shirt. The bat t-tacks on this. Anyway, I will go to the door with the star.

And you make your way to your room. It is a lightly furnished room with snacks and things of that nature. and you are able to just wait here until you're summoned the floor. The four of you, however, are taken around towards the very back of the kitchen. And eventually you are moved around into what you would normally expect would be a beautiful kitchen and a castle, but it has been turned into a full studio as there are those same giant lightning bug lights that are positioned this way and that. There are two separate kitchens set up one on either side. There are risers towards the back of the kitchen that are already beginning to fill with audience members.

As you are moved over to a small podium at the edge. Yeah, so we didn't really have anything for you to do. So you're going to be the judges. And we're going to take a quick break. Oh. Perfect way for us to be impartial. I was really worried that you were going to be like, so you guys are going to be the food we cook. You transformed into a pig

And then first to Each one of you is going to be a separate judge I'm going to give you your judge now You have outfits that are going to replicate that character I'm a judge And as the effects take hold You are going to embody that character So you will cease to be Torbeck, Frost, Grico

and Gideon And you will become this new judge Frost you are Julia Fliles Oh my God You are partial to the Bullywag chef as you really love Bullywug cooking. Chicken at the port.

The goose. Torbeck. You are Bobby Fly. You are really, really interested in this new chef. You like more, you like cooking with a bit of spice. You like your average Fay Wildean fair with just a little kick to it, just something a little bit different.

Grico, you are a chef that was brought in from out of town. You are not native to downfall. You are Gordon Ramsey. And you are, you also find yourself to be partial to the bullywag cooking. You happened to be in the area and the king knew that you were here and asked you to participate in your mind. And then Gideon, you were Guy Flyari. And you are cool dude. And you are partial to, you are partial to the newcomer.

You are looking for something new and different and excited to see what kind of new spice can be brought into in the soggy court. And for the sake of this, those that are partial to the French, or to the, I put French for French, but it's frog. Those who are partial to the frog chefs, all of your walls are going to have a plus two to their meals because of your bias towards the soggy court. Those of you, that's Bobby Fly and Guy Flyari, who are partial to the new chef, are going to have a plus two towards Crummies rolls. Beautiful. There are other variables that will happen for each one of the courses. Based on your performances at the, based on your performances during the show, as the audience will also have a vote. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon.

patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seeds, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, minatures, plushies, tarot deck and more thank you the four of you enter into this now kitchen kitchen stadium and you are moved over to this raised podium where there are four seats the judges podium and as people begin to fill the risers you

begin to feel the magics that you have imbibed take over as your bodies begin to transform where there are where there had been Torbeck, Gideon, Frost, and Grico, there are now four new people. Three of them are clearly bullywugs. One of them is a ramkin.

And the four of you are able to feel this change takeover as your personalities are replaced by this new entity. and you are instructed on where to sit and what to do. Each of you has your own individual list of judging requirements. There will be, there will be, I think it's one, two, three, four, yeah, five. Is it four or five, shit?

Yes, there will be five total courses for, I had to reread my notes. There are five total courses. Delicious. For this meal, there will be five from, Krembi LeCrew. There will be five from the reigning contender, P.R. S. Cargo. Mm-hmm. Incredible.

Thank you. Each one of them will have a certain amount of time to prepare the course. The preparation of the course is of itself its very own judging category. The way that they perform in the kitchen is tantamount to the taste that they will provide in this meal and you will be required to determine how well they do. You will try each of the dishes and at the end the audience will have a vote and the winner will be decided. Whoever the winner is becomes the Electrum chef. They will win a grand prize and become the official chef of the evening dinner and renowned throughout downfall as the reigning

champion. It is very important. The show is set to start in about five minutes time, and you have a bit of time to commune amongst yourselves and talk about how you plan on judging and managing this new role that you have undertaken. Something has happened. There's my face. I can barely move it, as if I've had many treatments. Do we still know who we are? A bo-do. Or are we completely... You are a completely, for all intents and purposes, Torbeck does not exist. I'm a new person.

You were a new person. Okay. And that is how they have gotten around impartial judging. There is no remnant of Torbeck left in you. Wow, it's been a while. It's good to see you. You gentlemen again, it's the pleasure. We're gonna be judging together.

I'm really excited. It's really good to see ya. Oh, okay, one of those. Oh, sure. Well, you all know me, Bobby Fly. You refer to me as chef. Yes, of course, chef. It's nothing but respect between all this.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Refer to me as chef too, huh? You guys all know me. I am the star and creator of Bobby Fly's Throwdown. You and the citizens of the soggy court know all of my famous restaurants, Amal Fly, Bobby Fly's Burger Palace, Mirand Fly, Flay, and of course the Greek Fly Becker. Yes, I recall that you were very much into new cooking. That's right.

I've done a lot of very revolutionary things. Me and Guy here. Yeah. Yeah. We did a lot of stuff together, yeah, that's true, yeah. Like, at least the second or third thing you said, yeah? A lot of good collapse, a lot of good ones. Great ones, in fact.

We're both in that one place together. You can go there. There's also a rat that cooks. But, yeah, we're right next to it. Yeah, both shops. You've got ratitude. It's a toss-off. Whose restaurant's better, but, yeah, it's pretty close.

Pretty close, yeah. When a little guy gets on your head and cooks delicious meals. Yeah, no, that's the other place. That's not one of us. Yeah, that's the other place, yeah. Speaking of, though, anybody wants some of this roast chicken I have? If we're going to have this perfectly cooked roast chicken, I'm not? Nobody?

That wouldn't be. Oh, this is gangster. This is gangster. There's a lamb sauce. No, there's no sauce. There's no sauce. I just have to roll chicken. There's the lambas.

You got to get a big heaping out by that. So just a little salt on it. Did you know, salt comes in a block form and is the most commonly used. kitchen ingredient. So what are we thinking about these competitors? You know, I got my eye on that young guy, the new guy, coming up. Yeah, I like him too. I like him too.

Like the guy, you know, look how he looks, you know? I'd prefer to see some classic cooking before we get to any of the new stuff. In the lot of the new cooking, you see, there's quite a temptation to try something fancy to sizzle. But if you have a classic, something you can really put your teeth into, that's a That would be my preference. Oh, I know, is he better make some fucking risotto. Well, I mean, look, there's always good stuff for the classics, but, you know, personally, I love the cultural grill.

It really just creates an atmosphere that's festive but casual. Yeah, I should be used a lot of butter, you know? No. Oh, what do you mean? No! What are you saying that for? Not butter! It makes everything better!

I'm going to have to agree with a guy on this one. And if you're afraid of butter, then you might as well just use cream. Yeah. It's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know like all that. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

I'm a ride. Don't forget. How could we forget? You're going on left and right. It's fucking disgusting. What's your problem with butter, man? I mean, butter is great. It is around this time that the stadium fills,

and the lights begin to dim and shoot this. this way or that. Cremie, a knock resounds on the door and you were escorted, not by Angela this time, but by another bully wug who makes no conversation with you, just motions for you to hurry and brings you around behind the back where you actually get a glimpse of your opponent, P.R. Escargo. is dressed in a really elaborate chef's outfit. He has clearly been the chef of the soggy court

for a long while, though he does look nervous. Another frog stands to the side of him. I will say in conversation, you hear that he's called Pepe. And they are working together and Pepe's running, rubbing Pierre's shoulders telling him that he's got this, he's never been beaten, he is the elective. chef and no newcomer, no city boy is going to come in here and take his title. And Pierre does make eyes at you, but he doesn't seem, he doesn't seem aggressive.

He nods to you and smiles and silently mouths the words, good luck. As you are moved to the opposite side and you see that there's a direct entrance to your kitchen. Your kitchen is fully set up and stocked with everything that you could have asked for. Twigs label makers must have been on high speed because every single thing is labeled by hand by Twig. And she is standing there. She is unlike you and the other two in the competition. She chose not to dawn the sous chef regalia.

She's just wearing her normal outfit. But she does have a cute little ruffled apron that is embroidered with the name Twig on it. And it says Twig, Sue Chef. She looks to be nervous. as she's sweating and kind of looking around, and as she sees you, she gets incredibly excited. Oh, my God, you really did label everything. I mean, is this necessary?

Is your short-term memory okay? You told me to do it. No, I mean, I figured you would, but, like, I mean, every grape is labeled. I know. There to her. You asked for 472 grapes. All right.

That's a lot of grapes. I was just looking at my recipe list, and there's nothing with grapes, so sorry you went ahead. And she pulls on the recipe list and you see that there's also an old shopping list that had gotten stuck to it. And it didn't say 482. It said four, but then next to it there was something that scratched out that kind of looked like an 82. She closes a door and inside the door you can see an entire room filled with rice where it says rice one. Exactly.

Oh my gosh. Rummy, you won't believe what I just seen with my own eyes. What do you see, Twig? I was out there. All right. You see? Where the kitchen is? Yeah, out there.

Yeah. Yeah. I was labeling rice grain 467,789,000,000,000,000. Yeah. Yeah. And I saw them. What it looked like? Look skilled?

No? Does it look dumb and stupid? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was in the bag. It was Grico, Frost, Gideon, and Torbeck. Oh, you saw, you just saw them. Yeah.

And they were looking stupid and dumb. Yeah, I mean, that's no different. Yeah, I'm not skilled at all. But you know what? We're not competing against them, so what's the skill that matter? No, but they're the judges, grummy. What? They're the judges.

They're the judges. Yeah. We got this in the job. bag. No, because they started putting on clothes and I was like, why is Frost putting on this weird wig? Why is he putting on a dress? Oh, no. Why is the skin getting old? And then I realized the people. And she pulls you to the side and she points to the judges table. That's them. That's them? That's them. Who's who? The Rams probably good. Okay. No, no, no. No. Oh, that's Grigot.

Yeah, no, squirical. I couldn't possibly have another why. That one's lost. That's true. And then the one with the... That's good. Okay, all right. And the one that looks fairly normal,

but kind of like he has some kind of malcontent behind his eyes. That one's morbid. Yeah, he really looks like he's got an ex to cry. What the fuck's wrong with you, Bobby Fleigh? Who hurt you, Bobby Fleigh? I'm actually a really nice guy. Weird perception.

No, you murder people. I know it. Maybe he has some anxiety in front of a camera that he's never got rid of, you know? So it just sort of comes off that way. I don't know, but anyway, I was told to tell you how this is going to go. I'm sweating. That's a lot of rice. Gwamee, do you need it all?

Well, we're going to need some rice, but at least a couple cups. Maybe three cups, four. How many, how many, how many rice is going, like, one cup? Oh, I don't know. Maybe, like, a couple hundred, maybe a thousand. Oh. You labeled every single rice?

Yeah. And how much, how much rice? Let's say, let's say how we're feeling. She turns, she turns around and you see a door open. as one of the assistant chefs that, you know, will be working for both teams, begins to leave. And you see a room that is like Scrooge McDuck Money, piles of viral.

I was Scroo-Mindexam. It's beautiful. It's fantastic. And you look at it and she points and you see that every single rice is labeled. Oh, God, Twig. Well, I mean, you got it all done. I guess it wasn't really a wastey time.

That must have taken you what? She holds up her hands and they're all I didn't draw. Oh, my God. Hand wrote every single one. Well, you know what? That might come in handy in case we need a couple, you know,

30,000 more rings more than we thought we did. It'll be there. Okay. So how this is going to work is they're going to call us out. Someone called the chairman is going to announce everything. Jam. Yeah. Sounds scary, doesn't it?

Yeah. When is he falling in the whole, you know, Regency scales? He like king level or? I have no idea. You think he's like a lord? I think when it comes to, I think when it comes to Electrum Chef Kremi, he's the big cahoonies.

Oh, all right. Is he a judge, though? I don't think so. So we don't even have to impress him. Well, fuck that guy. Well, his opinion, the audience is going to listen to him and his opinion could sway the audience, and they have a vote at the end. So even if you don't, if the judge's, and the judges.

Don't like us. If the audience does, we could still win. All right. Okay. Okay. So we can still win. And then have you seen our competitors who we're against? Yeah. We're against Pierre Escortgo. He's really nice. I talk to him for a little bit. And Pipe. Pierre? Yeah. Can't be the same Pierre, right? I don't know. I've never, I've never known Pierre before. I cut the pier's throat in the swamp. Don't tell the others. Right now is the time to get into your dix. So I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that to me.

You was fucking following us, and I knew he wouldn't stop unless I did something, you understand? I swear to God, if I walk out and that's the same fucking pier, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Well, I was looking at the next of this.

Well, that's a good start. Was his flesh like kind of clammy and rotten and kind of gray? Like he'd been rotten in a swamp for a couple days? No. All right, maybe, you know, it's a pretty common bullywork name. It was a little, because he's sweating

a seriously. Oh my gosh, these lightning bug lights in here are just so warm. Yeah, it's a warm. All right. Well, there are probably a couple of chumps. Yeah, sure. Grimmie, you cut me down in my pride. I have returned to humiliate you in the election show. Bring me down, I'm morning I stronger. You'll always be second best.

It has become most powerful than you can imagine. Oh, God. The chairman's gonna come out. He's gonna do his announcement or whatever. Then we're gonna go out there, and we're gonna have to start with the first course. You said, do you remember where the first course is supposed to be? Yeah, the first course is Re-on's.

Okay, good. Well, I told him was Rillens. I think that was wrong. I mean, phonetically, I guess. We can call it Rillins if that's what you want to do. Well, that's what I told them was called. That I'll correct them. Okay. So our first course is done.

the ruins. I'm sorry. The real. Real. And so we're going to make that and they're going to watch us. And how well we do and how in sync we are, how cool we look is going to affect the boat. Cool. Then we're going to bring that to the judge. We're going to give them. They're each going to try it. Then they're

going to tell us to her face whether we suck or whether we're good. I don't know. Is it suck or swim? Sink or suck? Save a suck, I think. Save a suck. Save a suck. A suck a save? A suck a save?

A suck a save? I don't know. There's a for when they tell you good or bad? Yeah. Yeah. Interested doorback noise. I suppose like it could have another glass. A couple of dives, am I ended up that way.

You're gonna feel like that way. I'm gonna be cooking. Why? It's over like what I'm eating my food. Why does every dish taste the same? Oh, just threw that. just throw that fucking ghost right in there. I don't care.

I don't give me shit I've already been paid. She's like, oh, two shots of vodka. Oh, that looks, blo, blu, blo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm going to have two shots of vodka. Oh, that looks yummy. One merrachina cherry. And so then when we're done with that,

we can't let their boat get us down because we've got to go into round two. Do you remember what our next round is? This is the stew round. This is soup round. That's right. We're doing crawfish stew. Okay, good.

That's what I said. Yep. You have the crawfish, right? Yes. I'm not crawfish. Wait, was it crawfish or crawlfish? Oh, God. Sneak ends.

You didn't get a little fish. that crawl around the fucking ground, did you? I can probably improvise. If it's a fish I can cook here, but did you please tell me you got the fucking crawfish? Um, I at least got something either called coral fish or crawlfish. I called coral fish.

Hey, your prize. Don't label with coral. Not as fucking madness. None of it is. It's 11. This is a lot of moving pain points here. This is interesting. All right, we'll handle that.

And then when we're done with that, we've got to move on to the third one. Yeah, that's sort of the light starter course. That's appetizer, yeah, appetizer, hors d'oeuvres, as Pepe would say, or P.R.S. Corcor. It's almost like, you know, kind of the light starter entree, right? Yeah, entree. We're doing oyster pole boy,

Sliders. Yeah. It's fake, you know, you just shrink shit down and fancy chefs just fucking love that. Okay, cool. Yeah, I think I got everything right for that one too. Then we move on to the main course.

All right? You know what we're doing, right? Yeah, the gooboo. No, well, no. Try again. We prep this one. Come on. Couble.

Close enough. You're a little classic here, a little more kind of country cooking. Oh, no, on the note I gave them, I wrote it down as Grums. Well, it's... G-R-U-M-B-S. Grum, that's...

Not grumps. What are you? It's gum. It's gumbo. Chicken and sausage gumbo. Okay. And they think it's called grums? Like, crumbs.

I can't wait to find out what these grums are all the grotes. Hey, who asked for all the grums? Julia. Julia filed. has had so much wine and she doesn't realize that the crumbs on the floor are not the dish. Too! Denged by good tea! Daring choice served in the brusiness.

There's a hair in this crumb. A presentation needs something to be desired. It's too late. We can call the grums. They won't fucking know the difference. Okay. All right, what's next? Anyway.

Then, after they're done eating the grums. Okay. Then we're going to move on to the dessert tier. This is the final tier. This is what we leave them leaving off on, because they're going to give each dessert an overall score, and then afterwards they got to think about how they felt about the whole meal put together,

and then they'll give it a whole store. So this is the big one, crummy. We're finishing with the Tart Alawaboo. Oh. Did you spell that right? Tartal alabuie you. Yeah, that's fine. T-A-R-T-E-A-L-A-B-L-A-B-O-W.

How about just Tata-T-T-T-T-A-Boo-E? Would that be enough? Is that easy enough? Tata-T-A-Boo. Tata-Boo. T'A-Boo. Yep, got it. Are you sure you wanted to stick to classic cooking with this Tart-T-B-R-A-L-A-B-A-B-E?

All right, so put the bananas and the taut-A-A-L-A-A-Boo-E. The bean and the gumboe will see. How that goes. I'll cook with Gid's knife and, hey, Twig, stick out your tongue real quick. I opened the jar of my witchlight concoction, and I just like dab a tiny little bit, and I'll say, this is just a little bit, all right?

And I just like tap it on her tongue. And she starts shaking and going crazy. Her eyes illuminate with violet light. And then you see her almost turning. into a robot. What do you want me to do, Grimmie? Uh, I want you to kill the president of Malaysia. No, no, I want to go to win.

When you want to get you, realize, go to it. And she starts to make her way towards the king. No, no, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I want you to give me the win for Electrum Chef. I will do everything I can to make us win. No, no, no. This is a test. Oh, I need you to help me cook the best meal you've ever cooked in your whole life.

Okay. And I think that our little special ingredient is just, it's really nothing. I think it's going to do the trick. My tongue does like bumblebees. It's like a good kind of bubblebee. My breath is spicy. I can taste yellow. Your friend is.

I'm sorry. Let's fucking go. Oh, it's good. All right, okay. We're gonna fucking kill it, and beat those chumps, that chumps, right? Yep, they're chumps. They're chumps.

They got shit on us. Yeah, they're gonna shit. She's going absolutely a lot. All right, give me updated on your symptoms. Yeah. How do you feel like that? And she's got a tolerance. Yeah.

Oh, Krimmy, you want to see something cool? From each other, and she does. She can watch. She moves her. I'm impressed. Very good, Twigg. I'm impressed. Thanks.

All right, you ready to go? I'm having trouble in them now. Relax. Go to it. Let's do this. To the Prime Minister of Micronesia. Is that what it was? Prime Minister of Micromichael.

Prime Minister of Micromichael. And with that, you are moved to the edges. The lights, the four of you are approached and told ready your judges, ready your judges' sheets. The competition is about to begin as the lights begin to shift and move. They shoot

this way in that. A strange robotic music begins to erupt from the orchestra off to the side. They're all playing these weird insectoid instruments that create these strange buzzing noises. As on a podium at the

very front, a A bullywag in a black suit steps up. He has a slicked back hair. Looks very dapper. He adjusts his bow tie and he looks out over the audience. Welcome to Electrum Chef. Today, in kitchen number one, we have Cremie Lacroo. It's a new style of Cajun cuisine coming straight to you from the material plane. And our returning champion, we have. Pierre S Cargo and there is loud applause as Pierre steps into the gorgeous I always love this Lord I've been dated yeah Pierre S Cargo will be creating for you a classic downfallian cuisine

favorite of the king long-standing Electrum chef raise your knives let the competition begin the lights move this way and that as you and Twigg are rushed to your kitchen there are three of there are chefs that are working directly with you, taking orders and things, as Twig looks up to you, are you gonna do this? I'm ready to do this. I wanna look over to the competitors.

Is it like the Open Kitchen style? Can I see them? It looks exactly like Iron Chef. Okay, I wanna look over and see if I can catch eye contact. The only difference is, I'm not making you do like the weird ingredients because I didn't wanna think of things. No, that's, I think this is great. And then I've forgotten to literally this moment.

It was the announcer Gavin. I'm doing great son. You're doing great son? I'm going to try to catch eye capture of Pierre. And first I would want to just get immediate get a sense of like, does it look like Pierre? That I know. Roll a...

This is a very quick in the moment look and you're quite far from him. So roll a perception check at disadvantage. Nine. It looks similar to Pierre, but he's the bullywug and a lot of them look fairly similar. the same age, same height, but you're not close enough to really determine.

If we catch eye contact, I'll sort of nod and I'll do a, and I'm like kind of give him a little gesture, like sliding the side of my finger down my snout, nodding at him, is like, you know, almost like shaking hands from across the room. But in that moment, I would like to cast hex on him. Oh, let's go. Roll a slide of hand, but yes. And I would like to be make him disadvantage on dexterity checks. Wow. Oh my god, fucking brilliant. It's like we're playing fucking D&D up in the bench. Bum, bum, boom, boom, boom, boom. Can I twist this? Yeah, yeah. You don't act,

Almond's jazz starts playing. Can we get some like epic election chef music? No, we're just gonna do some swampy blues. Some like some smooth, some easy listening. Oh, God, we're playing D&D, aren't we? Holy You are not safe here, Cremie. Mr. Guru can follow you wherever you go. I have come for revenge. 19. You look towards him and with a sly smile,

you meet his nod and his mouthed good luck. As your hex easily lands, he seems none the wiser. As you feel your magics affecting his dextes. and as he moves towards the kitchen, you notice he slips a little bit on some grease and writes himself. He looks nervous and uncomfortable. Oh, he's shut.

He's shut. He's got the yips. He's got the yips! Yes, he straightens his jacket and shouts something to Pepe, and you begin to cook. That's funny. Yeah.

You got me right in the end. What do you want me to do? All right, grab the pork belly and start cuing it up. Okay, Twig starts going. So for this, she is going to cube the pork belly, and she is going to roll for her ability to do so. She got a natural 18, and she is cubing that pork belly like it's nobody's business. And these are just straight rolls for this stuff. I'm going to get a measuring cup, and I'm going to get flour, and I'm going to pull out like an architect's level or something, and just very carefully make it a perfect cup of flour and pour it into a pot.

Okay, roll a D20. Just a solid D20? It's nine. You do this, but you are caught off guard as you notice that inside of this flower, there are a couple pieces of paper that say flour. There were no places for Twig to stick the labels, so she just stuck labels inside of the flower. It catches you off guard a little bit as you're trying to pull the labels out and you toss it into the pan.

Why? But Twig, however, is over there chopping, chopping like nobody's business. Like she's never been a better chopper in her entire life. You do, however, look to the side to check out your competition and you see that Pierre and Pepe are running this way and that, working on what is clearly their hors d'oeuvre that they're making for this. And you hear a yelp as they like knock into each other and a pot goes flying.

They are struggling. All right. We got this, too. Okay, I'm going to take another measuring cup. Once I sort of sort of the oil, they're the flour, I'm going to take oil, and I'm going to pour it and try to very carefully get exactly the right amount to the measuring cup and then pour it in the pot.

Roll the D20. 19. Nice. You, now being aware of Twig's tactics, you're able to avoid the labeling disaster and get a perfect, a layer of flowers you poured into the pot. All right, Twig, I need you to take brown sugar and red wine and start mixing in a pot

on the stove here right next to me. All right, with a natural 17, she quickly darts this way and that. Though her mouth is buzzing with the lives of a million bees, she is able to keep her focus and she is the consummate sushi. Oh, wine, I've never seen that before. The four of you are watching this happen.

You are watching as these chefs fly this way, Matt, you notice that the Lucreuse side seems to be a well-oiled machine. Twig responds to everything that Crummy threw in her. Whereas the Pierre side, they seem to be stumbling a bit. There's some miscommunications. They don't seem to be jelling quite as well as you would have expected. Well, we got quite the competition start in here. Folks, I'm ready for some really good food tonight.

These chefs are looking fantastic. Oh, no, no it labels. Ah, no. No! No! Ah! Yeah, even on their side, though, you know, he's looking pretty good.

It looks like they're struggling on the other and the Pierre side there, but I think it's gonna be a good night. It's gonna be a good night. The pier side is brilliant, delicious, brilliant. Chicken on, Botox Inn, Pierre, Chef Pierre, brilliant.

And with that. I was waiting. I was waiting. We're all just like, let him get it. With that, You are back in the kitchen and working on your reel? So I will begin to stir the flour and oil together and sort of get it into a slurry,

and I will make sure that the heat is perfect, and I'll be sort of checking with my hand to see, oh, is that too hot? But I want it not too hot and not too cool. I want to get it just right. Okay. 12. It looks like this is the fire that is used to do this,

is similar to the embers that created Ragnar Ross and Ragnar Rachel. And they are a little more chaotic. This is Fayfire. And it is unlike anything that you've worked with. It is really difficult for you to get that consistent heat that you were looking for. And it's very clear to you that that perfect heat was not able to be attained. Fuck. I'll make do.

All right, Twig. While this is reducing down, you've got to roast those pork belly chunks, all right? Okay. Yeah, I'll do it. All right. And so you watch as Twig moves the pork belly chunks over to a cutting board. You worthless, stupid chunks thing done. Do I notice this?

You used to be a pig. Now you're even less than a pig. I don't notice. I'm just like messing with the heat. That's what happens. She broke to the chunks. Then I will start to begin to stir. She got a two.

The roof, yeah, that's pretty. So I'll start to stir. Okay, Twig. Are you doing rice a roof for the pig? How long did I need to do for? Until it's sufficiently roasted. I'll think it's sufficiently roasted. All right, dump it right on into the sauce.

No! No! And she ruses over her little wings flap and she flies up and she just dumps it into the pan. And you watch as the entire, perfectly cut pieces of pork are raw in the bottom of this pan. All right, now, I'm just gonna stir in the root here. You're gonna keep that and just stir it

until it looks nice and cooked and glazed, all right? Okay, can do, we'll do. Let's see how she cooks it. Okay. Ooh, ooh, and after, I don't know, after about, is there other time limits per round? Yeah, I would say you probably have about five minutes. left.

Okay. Topps. I think I would say, all right, Twig, you just keep stirring until, you know, we got two minutes left and then you played it up. Perfect.

And then I'll do the final touch. Love it. And time passes. You watch as they do their thing. Twig never turned the fire on, unaware that that's what was needed to do as she stands there and stirs the wrong. This is a nightmare.

I'm so sorry. But she does in about two minutes before you come over to get the freshly cooked pork and you see that it is beautifully cut raw pork. At this point, we can only hope Pierre cut off one of his own fingers. I trust you so much to wait. One dream, one team, one dream. We got it! Oh my gosh, squaring the room.

And then... This will be not good. All right, you got a plate it? Yep. Oh no. How much time we got? Two minutes. Oh, fuck. All right. Okay.

Here, open the lid to this jar. Okay. She opens the lid. All right. Can't stop stirring this room, but here. Why don't you just kind of like dip the tips of your fingers in the jar? Okay. All right, and then just do like a little, like a little sprinkle.

Is this the width of the top? Yeah. And she does. She does it three times. Oh, they're going to love this. They don't know the fucking difference. All right, I think we're done. Perfect. And is with that, the chairman gets back up and announces,

the hors d'oeuvres have been prepared. Presentation to the judges will begin now. And your meals are moved to each of you. And in front of all of you, you have one plate that is Premies, the other, which is Pierre's. Pierre steps. forward. On my plate, you have

a very classic escargo. It's a succulent snail in a deep melted butter sauce with freshly chopped garlic, infused with chive,

lightly salted. He's chefs kisses, and you'll see that the snails are there. They did have some trouble with their meal, and the snails are chewy. And there's not nearly enough salt. The butter, and there was a bit of cream that was added.

It wasn't cooked properly and have begun to separate a little. Oh, oh, I've got to be honest, chef. This doesn't appear to be your best work. I'm a little disappointed, but, you know, there's plenty more rounds left, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do, chef. Thank you for the kind words, chef. I do doly noted I will The next round will be better, I promise.

Oh, fucking disgusting. There's so much garlic in here it could kill all of the vampires and Borovia. Oh, unbelievable. You should be. It's a bit chewy. There is a chance that we

might have overcooked the snails slightly. Yes, and you seem to have burnt off the left side of your face. I don't know. Freak gasoline fight accident. Still, I'm going in for seconds. That's a... Piece of lint from the tablecloth.

It all moves down in the end. It's the snails. You know, I think I use a little more butter. I don't know. This is... I like them. I like them. Yeah. It's out of balance. It's out of balance.

It's out of balance. It's dynamite. It's dynamite. It's dynamite. I like it. You know, I mean, you know, it's flitamite. It's flitamite. It's flotamite.

It's flotamite. It's flotamite. Yeah. Cut it a little better. We'll see. I don't know. We'll see. Thank you very much.

Chef's your, your notes have been taken. I will improve. I will approve. I will impress you with the next round. Oops, too. Pierre and Pepe step back. No!

It's Premian Twig and Step Forward to present their meal. I would like you to roll a D20. And... This guy wouldn't let me down. Natural toy. Boom! Boom! And I am, because I told you so certain,

you get plus twos for each ones, that depends on their roles at the present. so I will be determining that here. My whole point out of my. 19, 20, 9.1. Okay. Well, I really gotta keep stirring the gumbo, so I'm just gonna introduce my dish from here.

There is someone there to stir it for you. A mage hand is able to do it that you can control. You sure you know how to stir a room? Just fucking get over there and do the joke. How many hip points you got? This stuff is Agway napole. I understand. I'm gonna get it.

One more move. move and you... I can't get it! There's a bomb in here! All right. You got it? Okay, I'll step away. And then I'll come back and I'll look to check for any print spots.

All right. Okay. All right, chefs. Well, I got to start by saying, I respect the hustle. You're over here while the main hand is still doing the work. Very good, chef. Very good. Work never stops for a legitimate chef. Unlike these, you know, goons over here that they can compete. Oh, the meal. In front of you is, it's Rihon.

It's a perfect bland. Or Rillins, if you're into that. Rilins, if you're nasty. It's the perfect blend of softy hair. That's me, yeah. And sweet. It's a nice little starter. Think of it as candied meat.

You might think it sounds disgusting, but I promise you it ain't. And while I'm doing that and kind of motioning over the food, I'm going to try to, like, press the digitation a little bit and, like, create the smell of what Rion is, like, perfectly called the supposed to. to smell like as they eat. You know, Guy and I like to get a little nasty. Not together. I heard it as soon as I said it. Continue to shit.

I mean, you'll see that it's poor belly that's perfectly cubed. The fat has been totally rendered off under a hot flame. And then we've reduced the finest red, fay wine, down with a little bit of brown sugar and almost candied that pork so that you've got a glistening blaze on it. what you are tasting is not necessarily what he is selling. The meat is very clearly raw. And it is not warm except for the sauce that is over it. And at first, you are horrifically disgusted.

And then the witchlight kicks in. I forgot to mention by special ingredients. Though you know that this is not something you should enjoy, you can taste the yellow. And there is something very special about this meal that you can't quite put your finger on. The wine really makes it. I'll show you all the alcohol contents cooked off, I'll promise.

Yeah. This is really delightful. That's really good. Delicious, huh? And if it might, you know, if it tastes a little raw to you, just think of it as pig tartar, you know, nothing wrong with that.

It's a bit chewy, but in a good way. Well, I can't say I've ever had pig bubble gum before, but that's where I'm at right now. It's very fascinating, new age, avant-garde. What's the secret ingredient in here? I kind of feel like I'm watching myself eat this pork, you know, from like I have a body of spring.

What's the secret of great? This is really taking me back to my college days. Not that I went. It's just that time of my life, you know? Well, chef, that's an old McCrew family recipe. Unfortunately, I can't divulge that in food. Oh, I like this guy. I like this guy.

I like where it's coming from, huh? This is flying on white? Yeah, okay? It's fucking raw! This is so fucking raw. It's winning animal competition with the help of a spider that has perfect grammar. But that spider's web says, delicious. Brilliant.

Thank you, shit. I think you shout. I'm like you said I gotta say everything about this meal feels wrong but all of a sudden I feel like I can see around corners You feel enhanced since saying you like it right well done chef well done Thank you thank you I need you all to roll Constitution saving throws at disadvantage How do we actually score these I'm I'm scoring them for you oh okay okay He said Constitution saving throw is that Griccos or is that Gordon Rack It's Grickos.

I got an eight. Because it's still your body. This is not the order of phase. This is the order of phase. This is the order of phase? Oh, I missed a joke. That's too bad. It's still your door phase.

Yeah, I'm still your door phase. Yeah, it's still your door phase. It's too late. It's fine. 15. 15. I got a hot eight. I got eight.

Seven. Okay. I have a feeling Bobby Fly is going to be jumping on his own eyeballs. Two of you, two of you are feeling. perfectly fine. However, Julia Fliles and Bobby Fly, you two feel that raw pork hit your stomach and away the others. You are quickly, the competition is halted for a bit as you are quickly rushed to the Lord of the Flies room and are able to release your innards. There's some hors d'oeuvres in this house. There's some hors d'oeuvres in this house.

There's some hors d'oeuvres in this house. There's some hors d'oeuvres in this house. Oh. That is all. As if there's a little wrath singing about a smorgasbord, ratatooing, ratitooeing this food in a delicious meal. And with that, you are, you're escorted back, and all of you were profusely

spruously sweating out the witchlight but within a couple of minutes the taste of yellow dissipates and you are back to your normal chef's selves. Apology chefs, I had to visit the little Bollywalt's room. It was a rumbly and my tumbling. Yeah, this is just like another episode of that heaters.

You know, I really, I love being here with you guys. It's so much fun to do this with equally famous chefs. You smell like a retro septic tank. Ew. I'm never going to get through. It's a lot of. Anyway, I've got to go cook the next school. With that, you are, you make your way back for the next round.

The chairman announces the next round is soup, and you begin to work alongside Twig. You see Pierre and Pepe get to work, and they are, they seem to be in sync, though the, the things the judges had to say were difficult for them to hear. They seem to take it to heart, and they have toughened up. They are consummate professionals, and they're not going to let a bad review risk this win for them,

and they have definitely stepped up their game. Okay, Corby, that was pretty good. They seem to like it. I guess I've roasted that pork perfectly. Well, I think, I mean, yeah, you did great, but it seems like you need to be really micromanaged, so I'm not going to be very explicit. that one I understand. So if it gets to be too much, just ignore that feeling.

But I did everything he said. I've never roasted pork before, but I think you didn't like it. Wait, you didn't like it? No, it didn't like it. That's the point of roasting. Oh. Anyways, this time, why don't you turn the heat on the stove? Oh, sure.

All right, and then get out of pot, put the pot on, put in some butter and flour. You got it. And she is able to do this adequately. She gets the fire on, and she sets everything up the way you need to be set up. I'm going to go back to the room, and I'm going to look down, and I will shoot the arcane hand away. Let me do this.

We're getting close. This is about probably like a light caramel color. If you're interested, I mean, we're looking for more like milk chocolate, so we still got a ways to go. You're talking to a bully-wug caster of sorts, and you see that as you're talking to them, behind you, a major image appears of you talking to the audience about what you're doing. And everyone is watching in awe as they get an up-close and personal view of the intricacies of what you're making. And so you can see, we still got a ways to go, probably another 15, 20 minutes,

So my job here is to stir the root while my sous chef assist me. Alright, Twig, you got the heat on, right? You cut it, Grimy! Okay, you're gonna stir that until it's like a butterscotch color, you understand? Okay. It shouldn't take too long. You can really crank the heat and just get it there. Sure, I got it.

All right? While you do that, you gotta dice the Trinity, all right? Yeah. Is it already diced? Um, no. Okay, well, I told you to dice the vegetables, but that's fine, we'll let that slide. I was labeling all the... That's fine.

We'll work on priorities. Okay, now just dice the Trinity and the Pope. You gotta remember the Pope, that's Golic, all right? So you got your Trinity, you got your Golic, and then you're gonna dice it real, real fine. Yep. And then once that's a nice, light butterscotch color, then you're gonna put it in.

Want to see someone cool? Yeah, sure. Watch this. And she reaches down to her sides, and she pulls out two big meat cleavers. And she flies over to the cutting board, and she starts to dice like crazy. She's like a machine.

And she does, she got a natural 20, and she dices like it's nobody's business. Every single tiny little dice is the perfect tiny cube. Like in every kitchen anime, she slams the table and flies up and wrong.

It splits perfectly. Holy moly guy, look at that knife fork. Unbelievable job from the young chefs. Some great expertise in that kitchen, some great expertise. Yeah. The air looks like he's cut his hand off. He's fine, no, yeah.

Peter. Yes, Peter's cut. It's a knife injury. He did have a knife injury, and it does look like some of the Bollowog medics have run over to help repair the injury. What kind of injury? The Bollywock blood is not going to help that dish. No! Not the Bollywag blood?

No! And I will stir the room. And with that, I will say with those rolls, you're easily able to make your soup. The chairman once again gets up as the time limit is about to run out. You are announced there are two minutes left. Anything else we need to do before? Don't get put the crawfish in. What are you doing?

Give a crawfish in. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. You're right. Focus on those vegetables and make I realize that I diced, I cubed them when you said diced up. These crawlfish and she pulls up these fish with clear limbs. Oh, God. alive.

I'm Carl. That's also Carl. That's also Carl. What the hell? What's up? We're gonna get the taste of our pre-workout, a little post workout. You know what we bring to your soup? Gaines. Okay, uh, here, real quick, here. And I'm gonna unscrew the lid and I'm gonna say, okay, now just do what you did the last time,

let's do it twice. She takes her hands in and she splashes twice. All right. Okay, mix it up. She begins to mix it up, but she throws one Carl in and then one Carl in. No, no, no, no, no. They're my own. Oh, and I'm fucking bummermer. Marguyen!

We were ready for the sauna. Torch and voices. There's spring turn, fainter with less strength as the little fading as a dying. And Kremi's just like, shh, shh, shh. It's gonna be over soon. Go, that's great baby throw. And he has the strength contest. The lid jumps and the jumps a little more weakly.

Once things settled, all right, Trin, you can play this one. I will grab a tray, and I'll pass it. a tray and I'll pass the spoon to the main chance. And I'll lift the lid up and not look and I'll pass twig the spoon. Hold on, I'm changing the songs. I'm afraid we're gonna get. Songs we're not supposed to get,

so we're going back to the fairy music. All right. I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was listening to the screams die down of Carl, Carl, Carl and Carl. Well, I'm afraid to look. Do you mind, do you mind a ladle in the soup for the judges? Sure, do you want head in or head out? Well, I don't think we really have a choice.

We can really remove one from the other. So just all in. Stichy. You get these beautiful bowls, and she begins to ladle the broth, and then she scoops out one fish and puts it in, and there's a carl in each bowl. So, yeah. Stop it.

What happened to slurms McKenzie? He got crushed by the cave. You partied until it got a team down. Oh, God. I'm so tired. I just want to rest. I'm so tired of lifting. We go to the judges with our war crime soup.

Who's up first? It's always going to be the raining electric staff. Okay, died. And so with that, Pepe and Pierre step up and present their soup. It is a French fly. soup. It is a downfall version of French onion soup and it is it is it smells fragrant the broth is the broth is the perfect onion oniony pungency but the flies that are the main portion of this have clearly not been cooked down enough

and they are slightly crunchy it is it is distracting to the rest of the dish. There's also a, there clearly was not a dash of some sugar to even out some of the more savory notes, and it does leave it a little bit, it does leave it a little bit too pungent. Oh, this is chef, I gotta say, this is good. This is a step in the right direction.

You know, the fresh fly really just makes things taste fresher, you know? Good job. Well done, chef. It is a nice take on an old classic. I don't know why you're laughing. I'm the contestant. I'm not sure that I, the introduction of the blood wasn't really necessary. You see Pepe like apologizing profusely as he holds a spandish can.

I believed in you since the beginning. Julia, nobody's laughing at you. She was just a little drunk. That's not true. Yeah, it's not true. She's a lot drunk. I enjoy the contest. Yeah, I mean, it's not disappointed.

I mean, it's good. It's good. You know, I like it. I break down the intricacies of the meal, but everyone's done that already, so I'll just say this is pretty flying on mind. You know what I mean? I'll take another bite.

I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. It's fucking raw, you donkey! This fly is so raw and burst from a pod after transmuting from Jeff Goldblum! All right, that's pretty good. More of a fly film, that's what I get a good. I like that, that was good. Oh, shoot, was that a big brain.

I was like, I was like, this is gonna be good. Don't get. We're incredibly sorry. We clearly had a mishap in the kitchen, but that is no excuse. We will toughen up and we will do better next round.

Oops, soon. Only more improvement from the current election chef. Thank you. Thank you, chefs. Good luck. He steps the side as crummy and twig make their way forward. Chess, I'll all about my head.

For our next dish, for the soup course, we have a Carlfish stew, and it's a little confusion, you could say. It has a little bit of the cuisine from my hometown with some local faywild wildlife, you could call it. And so featured in the soup,

it's a lovely butter-roob base with some vegetables, some glasses. Some herbs are in there, and some fresh, very, very fresh fish. Oh, wow. Enjoy. Carlfish, a new twist on an old classic. I hear that you got to do this old school way where you suck the head. Julia, your old broad.

Show us how you suck the head. It must have been popular back in the old days. Oh, yes. She's got the coat cracked on that one. Look at that old broad go, man. Always. Always. And then you've really caught a gorgeous.

Oh. Oh, it's not her first time, yeah. No, definitely not. She's a seasoned professional. It's cronos devouring as young. I've had a good cause. 20-4-me-for-you-galy. Gorgeous, brilliant.

Oh, delicious. Dlicious. Yeah, can we twist these or no? Yeah. Oh, twist this one. Yeah. Julia over here sucking the chrome off a tailpipe. I love five.

Five. Five? Wow. You really enjoy the coral fish. It is the highlight of the meal, but the carlfish clearly was put into the base raw, and so the base is infused with the flavors of the coralfish. It's very salty, and it overwhelms a lot of what...

Chef of Crewe was attempting to do. The weight protein powder. Oh. There it is. No! The protein weigh shakes before reach in. And I'll put a pound for it.

It'll see like, there's kill powder. Um, very, berry bubble gum, cotton candy candy, wager. Oh my god. You're fucking disgusting! No!

Well, you know, I gotta agree with Gordon here on this one. I'm a little disappointed in you, chef. You fucking donut! Yeah, it was a little weird to watch you stuff all those super jacked fish in the pot and kill him, but, you know, I give it a try. Hey, hey, how did you do this, Julia? You gotta work the arms, huh? You get crazy old broad ass.

It's not the only way to kill a car. It's animal coral tea. Just suck it straight out. Don't stop that hits the stomach, God, okay, there we go. Jesus. How high am I? Bruce double-bring.

Oh, and you found coral fifted and skipped leg day. Disgusting. Oh. Guys, settle down over there. At a certain point, just playing with it. Julia, did you want to give your analysis? Oh, it's a bit salty.

Oh, it's just like I even have you. Unlike the last one, it seems like the proper amount of diluted witchlight was added. It did enhance your experience overall. So though the notes that you gave were effective, you were exactly how you felt about it. You didn't come away from it hating it as much as you expected to. And your scores were adjusted.

I'm gonna have a stroke. It brings me back. And I'm not, Carl. He fucking got me. Oh, God, the sharp pains in my head. And with that, you make your way back to the kitchen where you begin the third round. This, you are halfway through Electrum chef

as you begin to work on the oyster poboys. All right. I'm going to cook the protein this time. There is clearly dissension happening over in Pierre Escargo's kitchen. You notice some yelling and shouting. Pepe looks very, frustrated as he takes his chef hat off, throws it down, and just runs from the kitchen.

Uh-oh. My other hand. All right, Twos, we got it. What's our catchphrase, Twig? Um, kill him, Carl. No, no, no. You name he starts playing. No, one team, one dream.

One team one dream, that's right. Please do not to cut my throat. Oh, the blazes are so sharp. But I'm not, we're gonna switch rolls this time. You just stir the root, all right? Make sure, check the color. Make sure it looks good. What color does it be?

It needs to be milk chocolate. Do you know what milk chocolate looks like? Oh yeah, I love milk chocolate. Oh, God, do I have a copper piece on me? I would say yeah. I take out a copper piece and I put it right down by the stove. You stir it until it looks like that color and then you tell me, all right?

Okay. The second it gets to that color, you'd have to tell me right away, okay? Okay. This is very, very, very important. You understand. We're going to lose if we fuck this up. Okay.

Okay. Because you can't save a roo once as a burn, you understand? Okay. You got it? Yep. You promise? Yep. Okay, and I get to make those two whitewoods lighters.

I get grabbed little rolls, I butter them, I toss them down, I fry oysters, I make a remit sauce, and I throw them together while I'm just like keeping an eye on twig while he's stirring the roo. Um, roll to see how you do. I mean, Pepe's gone, and Pierre's lost boasts as anything. You're doing that all by yourself? Yes, I have doing that. So I'm going to have you roll at disadvantage because you were taking on the majority of the work.

10. Okay. You feel like you were out of, this isn't your best work, but you feel like it's going to be good enough for this. With the dissension that's happened over in Kitchen S. Cargo, it is very clear that you now have the upper hand. And you are able to, with two minutes left on the clock,

you're able to get your oyster po-boys plated, and they look great. I started to take the jar out and I'm like, nah. Oh, all right. I'll put it back. And I'll, I guess I'll wait for Pierre and then I'll be ready to. Ah, Cremie, can you come look at this? This was an anime, my face, I like, turned.

Yeah, why you went to a line arcane. Yes, Twig. Um, before you look in here, um, do you know what temperature melts a copper piece? I mean, Gid probably knows, but I certainly don't. Okay, how hot do you think Roo gets? I mean, was I telling you, or was I telling the crowd that it's like Agway Napalm? I mean, it'll burn the shit out of you. I don't remember, but I was having trouble looking between the Rue and the copper piece.

I put the copper piece in the Rue, and that's gone. She rolled a three. Classic. The couple seconds I have, I go, and I, like, stir the Roo around. I'm trying to find the copper bees. There's nowhere to be found. Oh, man. Okay, I'm going to, you know what?

Now and ever. I'm going to take the bean and put it in the room. Okay. I'm just hoping that it'll cook it and not. So far, I will... We're going to need this. I will keep you updated as to what happens with the bean. All right.

Yeah, and then I will go present the po-boys. The chairman calls both both chefs up. This time, Pierre S. Cargo makes his way up to the judges alone. As he begins to present

to you a fly bouvignon, I don't really know what that is. I've never had it. Oh, it's my favorite. It's just something he presents and I will... It is great stuff. It's delicious. It's delicious.

And he presents it to you. It is very beautifully plated, though it is a bit bland. It is very clear that Pepe was the one that really had the knack for spice. And with Pepe gone, that kick that his meals had is just not quite there. Other than that, everything else seems to be perfect. The plating is beautiful. The consistency is good. There are no glaringly obvious issues with this subject.

Oh, my canvas in shambles. I might as work. I will be the edges with this. Chefs, what I have for the first entree, it's a bit lighter, it's a deep fried oysters it's just smothered in a mayonnaisey remin'laude with buttery rolls. Enjoy. So are we able to judge Pierre first?

Yeah, you're supposed to judge Pierre first. But it's okay because Crummy is excited. me is excited. Okay, we'll judge Peter. Ah, you know, soup's pretty good, chef. You did well, you had a little bland, but you know, again, step in the right direction. You're doing well for, you know, having seen that half of your team

has run off, it appears. But, you know, decent work, chef. Not everyone has the ability to, I'm Russian now. Pierre. I was, I was. No, no, no, I was. To see. To see.

Any time I was hanging out with Pepe had to put only different voice so that he would be able to understand what I was saying. Soup is just boiled vodka. Now I love you like. Pieter. Pieter. It's a little bland. I agree it doesn't have that BAMP that only Pepe can provide. P.

P.M. Pierre, I'm disappointed. This is so bland and generic. It decided to go share its opinion on Twitter. Disgusting. The Rams, you're so cool and top of us. I'm so glad I had the idea to make you guys the judges. Yeah, that's genius.

Just not angry, I'm disappointed. Not brilliant. Hey, Julia, Y'all Broad. What I'm hearing from your... your critique over there is that you missed the taste of Pepe in your mouth. Am I getting that right? Yes, this is lost. Oh, you dirty birds.

Lost? There's something. This is something in my mouth. It's missing. My taste is wine. Oh. Bobby, you're bad. You're bad.

Oh, that's good. I mean, you know, the phone's okay. It ain't great. It is not great. You know, I mean, it's not a mess. out of out of bounds out of bounds yeah so this is how you do it this is how you do our office here walking when he takes something a bite him clues me doesn't like it's like yeah yeah this is out of bounds diamond he's something he hates it he just says

oh yeah he's like the flavor the flavor he's like all right all right apologies yeah no no no I'm helping you out yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I take a bite. My horrible ram teeth come out from beyond my lips in an alien-ass matter. Your lips curl back. Why is it eating in such a like, fucking I amorph? Why the teeth doing this? You're all articulated in this way.

It's like going to. It's fucking a little toaster. Way little toaster. Jesus. What does it taste like? I mean, it tastes like fried oysters with some, you know, Cajun season. Mm. Finally, some good fucking food. A single tear rolls down.

I appreciate it. What did you roll for how good your food was? Oh, well. An 18. Oh, wow. It is good. It is exactly what. What chef LeCrew had presented to you.

It's something new, something you've never experienced before. The spices are out of this world, literally. They are from the material plane. Wow. And it is exciting. Chef, this is unbelievable. These oysters are fantastic. Julia, you ever have a prairie oyster?

Those are bull testicles. I bet you'd goggle those. Every morning. I must say, I'm impressed, screaming. This tissue went from a po-boy to a boy man. I think that's a compliment, yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh, yeah, this is great. Oh, this, this is gangster. Oh! Now, wait, wait, wait, wait, get to one at Remilin, all right? It's all across the top, right? It's not, it's just a cremeline. Crimelon.

Come on. Come on. I won't even now. In bit. You're welcome. Oh. Unbelievable. Three exclamation points.

Thank you, Shams. You've gotten 18. 18. And with that, you are, you step away and you make your way back to the, back to the kitchen. This time, it is the main course. The grums.

You see that, uh, This poor guy. You can see that the air? The grease fire. As you make your way back, the mage hand is stirring the grums. The mage hand is stirring the crumbs, the grums. And there is a loud pop as the bean ignites in the Agway napole. And it seems to do what's supposed to, where most of it stay.

in the pot and begins to spice up the rue in a way that you wouldn't have been able to accomplish without it without it but the tiny heart of the peen flies out shoots across the kitchen and completely nails Pierre in the side of the head he screams as it sears into his skin and then explode and he has a horrible kitchen burn as he's trying he's rubbing muster

all over it trying to make it better as he attempts to work on his main. Oh my god, that bean came from the grassy knoll. Get down! Can we say that it planted itself in his face? Yes. Thank you. So it's like sticking a grunt and halo with a plasma grid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, nice, nice.

Yeah, that's really good. Nice, nice. Yeah, nice. I cooked the gumbo. What are you going to have Twig do? All right, Twig, I need you to- Yeah, it's time for the Grums! Okay, you gotta get Grums.

Grab me the Trinity. Yeah, got it. Put it in. Okay. I'm assuming the Roo's is the perfect color now. Roll for it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You haven't rolled for the Roo yet. Oh, God. Come on, big one. This is it. I mean, this is all the marbles. You think 11's good enough? No. Absolutely not. Twist it, twist it, twist it, twist it. Your three pop rouges just turned into a 13 pop root.

13. Oh no. One more. Yeah, one more. One more. One more. I was thinking 15. This is the Rue. Come on. No. 13. All right. Good luck. Okay. So Pierre's missing both hands and it's got a time bomb on his face. All right. I think you and Twiggs begin to work on this. It looks like it is, it's hard to tell the coloration is what? What? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. What? Just a...

Just... Talk it, keep on. Something funny happened. Oh, okay. We're good. You and Twig be able to begin to work on the grums, and you're staring at the color of it, and it looks like it is about a milk chocolate, but the problem is that there's a metallic sheen over the entirety of the grums over the rue. It's very clear that the color has been affected by the one copper coin that was put in there. Though it looks like it could be perfect. You realize now you're never going to be able to tell exactly and you're going to have to go on raw intuition.

All right, Twig. Yeah. You do exactly what I say. You got it. Trinity. Trinity. That's onions, peppers. Salary. In. Garlic. Pop. I'll fry that up a little bit. Cool it down. All right. I need some kind of ale.

Ale. Aal. Booze, beer. Oh, okay. Not an owl. No, no. Not an owl. Did you label on the owl?

It's like feathers going everywhere, like the poor owl's freaking. Ew. Fucking boy. Go on. Get out. Get out. Oh, no. Sad.

She heads back to the store room and she brings you out three different nails. I pour them all in and I'll de-glaze and then chicken. Yeah. You got it? Yeah, I can get you one. She brings you out a whole chicken with feathers. No, no, no, no. Cook chicken.

Oh, you want me to cook chicken? Yeah, yeah. Just cook it in advance. You don't have time to let this stew for three hours. We mean cooking in advance right now. I'm showing me to it right now. Twigg, look me in the ice. Yep.

I don't care how you cook for chicken. Cook chicken. Okay. You understand? Just chicken. Just chicken. Is there anything else that needs to be cooked that you can come back? I'll handle the rest.

You just cook for chicken. You got it. While she's doing that, I will cut up the sauce. I'll put it in. I'll throw some bay leaves in. I'll find chicken broth. Hopefully that exists. And I'm going to put that in.

Got your two belt. Everything else you're able to get. I do my tool belt. That's right. A cooked chicken It doesn't pull out cooked stuff And you get all this together You come over to get the cooked chicken from Twig

And you see that she is cooking a chicken In any way she likes There is a large pot on the top of the stove filled with water As she is sticking the chicken down into the water Is it a live chicken? It was in one point Oh my God

The unholy screams of a dying chicken instantly be flashed for boiled. Simon Belmont saves the day he chadens and punches the castle wall and a perfectly good chicken. And like a beating heart. Simon Belmont with the steel chair. Out of nowhere. Oh, God.

Chicken. Poor chicken. I cooked the chicken for you. Thank you, I'll throw the chicken in, and I will cook it. What? It's a whole chicken. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, and I just crank the heat. And with whatever time I have left, I'm going to try to do a real fast boil on it and just try to get the chicken to the point where it starts to sort of fall apart. And, you know, that's the best I can do. And then right when I'm at the end, I'm going to take the jar out. and I'm gonna put three drops of drugs into the gumbo, into the grums. Into the grums. You do that and time is up.

You are escorted back to the judge's table. Pierre steps forward and presents to you a fly-o-von. And he is looking dishevelled. He has a bean and put in his face. He's like twitching a little. switching a little. He's like, yeah. He's like favor in one

one side little. I said that. I was like, fuck, this is dumb. And he does. He's a peat in bed in his face. He is, he looks weary and tired, but the fly-o-ha-

I don't know where I am. The fly-a-ball that he presents to you is utter perfection. Oh. It smells spectacular. It is cooked perfectly, and even without Pepe, the seasoning is top-notch. It is his

best work. What is it? The dish? Flyoho. Oh. You scaled bastard. I have something left in the day. Mmm. Ooh. I think that this means let's fly with wine, right? Is it VIM? Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy

Julia's gonna be in heaven on this one Chef you're done well you played to the judges She didn't try it She ate it all up She ate my dish I only got a small taste That's ringing in your mess How you got to just smell it

Just caught a whiff in the air Absolutely beautiful Delicious for you Delicious It's very good It's mostly wine You're done good This is what you needed to bounce back

You've done really good. Real nice job, Alexa. Thank you so much, chefs. It has been a... This is good. It has been a trial without Pepe. Absolutely delicious. But I feel that I'm coming into my own and truly showing you who I am as a chef.

So I appreciate your words. He's probably something here. It was a freak bean accent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks angry. I covered it in mustard to relieve some of the bone, but. Ah, yeah, I've had to do that before, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that works. The flies, or the bean is immovable. I had a freak bean accident when I went down to Gexico, and I was in the bathroom for four hours. I still haven't gotten the smell out. And he steps away, and Kremie steps forward with his grums. Cheers. Al-a.

Here you have a classic dish from Aguille. It doesn't get more classic than this. Every family has their own recipe. And this is my We call this grums. I put a bowl down on each of the...

Grums, eh? Is it another name or just grums? Well, we call it. I mean, my family calls it gumbo, but for this purpose, we'll call it gums. Oh, chef. Gumbo, gumbo. Speaking of gumbo, Julia, what are you 140? How'd you get on this show? You give the producer a little gumblow? My old lover, Gumby. It's flexible.

He's 30, must be one. He's like, what the fuck is going on? I'm testing this. Gumb blow is a fucking fantastic thing to say. I'm too. I'm pretty. How, also how does the witch light hit us? That's 20.

Oh! Gotta give it up. Gotta give it up. Thank God. This one was similar to the second course, where the moment that the grums hits your tongue, you are overwhelmed with the seasons and the sensations, the seasonings and the sensations.

And it is spectacular, but it doesn't knock. you on your ass like the hors d'oeuvre did, like the real. You are able to keep your wits about you, but it does enhance the flavors dramatically. This is so delicious, I'm going to grumb. Wow, wow. That's a first for a while, Julie. You get dusty old bitch. My God. I like it. I sit up and my eyes go watch,

and I have a full Ratatouy style flashback to my childhood as my sheep mother makes her recipe of grum, which all Rams also know, all sheepkin, and sheepfolk also know, and another tear rolls down my face, and then suddenly more, and then I'm streaming, tears streaming down my face as I place my spoon down.

And I just go. Thank you, Chef. Oh, this is absolutely fantastic. Oh, man, is there more? I take joy as much, but she's just grumbling all over the place. I don't want to run with the experience, you know? There's probably still some in the pot, if you'd like, chef. I can.

But don't eat it. until you've decided who's the winner, because there's a lot of secret ingredient in that part. And with that, you're gonna groom. You, um, uh, you are escorted back to your cooking station where you are preparing yourself, yourself to make the final course, the dessert course, when an alarm sounds and the chairman takes a step up onto the podium. Oh.

Unfortunately, This round of iron chef will have to end early. It seems that that bean embedded in Pierre's face has detonated. And Pierre is now undergoing emergency treatment to save his cheek. That being said, the competition is not over. It is just ended early. We will allow the judges to make their final decision, and hopefully,

Should Pierre remain the winner, he will be ready to cook the meal for this evening. Let's all wish him luck. That Pierre always finishing early. Thank you so much for listening to The Legends of Aventra's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Pierre or higher to unlock Shroud of her Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com forward slash Legends of Aventris.

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