Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 33 | Up the Wrong Tree

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

The Krew ventures out to explore the enticing and alluring undiscovered parts of Downfall...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/fbrKUoeYZa0?si=9fnH052alSDK56LW

What a do, welcome to Legends of Ventress. My name is Cremi LeCrew, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm really loving the crowd tonight. I mean, this guy's just got his head blown and clean off, and they're asking about dessert. You hear him mad they're going to kill King Gull? How do we feel he would fare against our grand judges? How could we ever say no?

All right, look, if we're going to do this, uh, Julia, we've got to put a point. We gotta put all this behind us. We gotta just ignore it. Kind of like how the casting director ignores your alcoholism, your drug problems, and your sort and sexual past. We have found a new judge, Bavlona Blight's Straw. Beasel Barry. Beasel Barry?

He's a Beasleberry. Tate all a Beasel Barry. Cora, have you ever milked a beast? Oh, my. Oh, they're not just scared. Oh. Where do you think that one guy keeps hitting on that weird, drunk old lady? I have the business is all over.

Those two, a fucker. You know, we're together, they call me Bobby, but I call her Bob in. Ramsey's favorite dessert, grass. Insular's a plate of your house. That was delicious for a bit of grass. What a do, Ms. Blackstraws, pleasure to see you again. Mimau's tart all a Bezoberry pie. I can taste the love you have for your mima.

The crowd absolutely goes wild. Premier Lucreux is one Electrum chef. You were able to retrieve the letter and bring it back to the room. And on the back of it, you see a green wax seal with the symbol stamped on it of an hourglass. Vaflora is looking forward to dinner with you the following evening. And beautiful nightly regalia is Morka. Thank you so much for what you've done.

Venom. You mean to tell Zorbeck that Wigglewog is dead? This is Paul. Last time on Once Upon a Witchlight, you engaged in a cook-off to the death, potentially. Are you happy? Potentially.

Pierre S. Cargo is currently in hospital being treated for the wounds he sustained during Electrum Chef. You, however, as a group, were able to both win and lose. As some of you, as the judges, found your sale found yourselves coming in second place to the up-and-comer up-and-comer cremelecru as he wins the title of electrum chef and his meal was served before the entire court of the soggy court at an elaborate dinner it is there that you were able to wind down

from a very very very long day a day that felt like weeks but was only a day before you made your way to the room that you were staying in knowing that the next day you would be leaving the soggy palace and venturing off into the rest of downfall in the effort to make it towards the location that you had been instructed is where you would meet your ride to Bavlornas Cottage just a day away and it is here that you find yourselves in that room this beautiful palace room. An elaborate, an elaborate bed in the very center, easily large enough to house all of you. A roaring fireplace in the corner, a large tea table, an adjoining bathroom. It is lush and lavish. As Torbeck realizes that Wigglewog has been dead this entire time.

I forgot that we hadn't shared all the details of our adventure with you, Torbeck. You weren't there for that. No. This kind of feels like he's always been here. I guess that was just yesterday. Yeah, I could picture him kicking him off the tower. You know what I mean? That's that what happened?

Oh, no, no, no. He was already dead when I pushed him off the tower. Well, it was a tragic ballooning accident. Many such cases. So we think. Allegedly. You think he was dead. Why didn't we tell more?

There was so much happening, and it felt cool to tell her this news in the circumstance we found her in. Yeah, you just don't want to get all these things, you know? It's like with these kind of, you know, feudal types with the DeCronian customs, I'm like, oh, you must send his bones back to be in turn. It's like, we weren't going to do that. So if they found, oh, we're a Wiggleog family. We have a blood curse on you now, blood feud, because you didn't return his bones. And I'm like, two frogs even have bones.

Oh, yeah, remember that they do. Yeah, it's not a good song. It's not a good scene, man. Well done, Bricko. Yeah, he's in the word interred. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. And bones. Oh.

Yeah, so, I mean, it would have caused, it causes more trouble than good because, see, the thing about, oh, wait, who's he? Earmuffs. Earmuffs, that's what they do this. Sometimes it's all right to lie. Or by omission, by omission, by omission. I'm sure. Because what someone doesn't know will not hurt them.

Oh, Torbeck shouldn't have been told this. I mean, it was only like an hour after Torbeck allegedly murdered Aged and the Torbeck started talking about it. But sometimes it's not okay to lie. like when we told you that we was the one that was kind of a bunch of knocks for Mr. Witch and kind of was stalling for you to get arrested. And we told you that because we didn't feel, we felt morally obligated to.

With Mogo, we don't really care as much. No, I have to say I am leaning towards Torbeck's physician here. We do need to find a way to break the news. And it's gotten to the point where at this point it's going to be a little awkward. We've touched such an elaborate law. I mean, we're all in for us, Steve. The web that we have woven.

No, honesty is a good policy. I think that we should find a way to break the news. For what kind of game? Yeah, why only this never see her again? We don't have to have that better. We don't have to think about this in terms of game. They would want to know the news. If you were more ago, wouldn't you want to know?

Look, if she is never going to find out one way or another, wouldn't you want to just give a hope? Just one day Just maybe so she could fantasize that he's doing all right out there He's in the summer court He's a brave night for the summer queen Yeah see

And it feels wrong For a play was any indication She's gonna forget about them In like three days probably max I don't think that's gonna happen To be fair I did take some autistic license Some

A little bit A little bit I mean, the volcano land was a bit of, a little bit of a passion fraud. That would have your entire portrayal of, uh, as a, uh, it was, it was cruel almost, thinking back now that I... Cruel, a volcano, that was the best part, it was really cool. Fucking about. About what? The name that I always fucking cannot remember.

WiggleWong? WiggleWong. Yeah, I'm talking about WiggleWock. It's a portrayal. Your rendition of him in the story was. I mean, you don't want to play Wrigal Wars. You care about him so long. you don't even know his name.

Oh, no. Unbut frosty. Unbelievable. Frosty, that is so... Just because Derek doesn't care, doesn't mean Frost. Is that gone from the carnival? Yes. God, he's a stupid sweater.

No, he always wore the plaid, a dumb plaid. He was very hard to look at. Wait, is those guys wiggle wolf person, they're dead? Oh, God. Yep, yep. That's so sad. Well, technically, we still once again never checked, so. Oh.

Wait. So you didn't check to see if they were dead before he kicked him off the top of a tower? We didn't check after that either. So how did he actually die? Tragic balloon accident. That's not very descriptive. There's a lot of missing details. We didn't witness it.

We were told secondhand from the fairy dragon in a magical cage that had to take it's a magical key. So wait, you're saying a fair dragon in a cage. You couldn't even get out and check on the state of his friend, told you his friend was dead, and didn't check to see if he really was dead? Well, he was sort of like, oh, Rick Scott, my wrong companion, squire, he'd be dead.

Oh, no. And it was sort of like bumming me out, so I just kind of pushed him off. Wait, so you didn't even touch him? You just used your cane and kicked him. It was pretty gross. I wasn't going to touch him. Look at him.

So, stank a little bit too. So Torbeck is understanding correctly. You guys didn't cause his death. Correct. He was already dead and we showed up. So why didn't you tell Morgo? Yeah, it seems like a no-brainer. And this is Torbeck saying this. I don't know.

just got away from us. I just go so bad because on the one end I'm like, oh, we go long dark to rescue Hootsie. But then I'm like, oh, well, you know, when I saw that he died and when he kicked him off, I'm like, well, it was mostly Taliban, right? And now I'm sort of feel bad again. Look, we didn't kill him. All we did was just move his body from one place to another place, so we didn't have to look at it.

That's all. Yeah, but then you lied to his person. We didn't lie. We didn't lie. We just didn't tell her. And maybe he said a bunch of stuff that wasn't true. Isn't it a lie? We didn't specifically lie to, all right?

That's right. Yeah. Exactly. What gets sex? Wait, when you said that I'm sure he's out there somewhere waiting for you, that's a lie. I'm pretty sure that's the case. He's still there. He's a half.

He ain't owned anywhere. He lives. She takes a ride and stands to the left out of that street. swamp out there and she's going to find them. Hold on. So if Torbeck over the course of this magical adventure drops dead and you all

just push Torbeck's body behind some trees, are you going to not tell Clementine? Is Clementine speak common? Yes. All right, then I might consider it. What do you think, fellas? We had to find Clementarmes first. Yeah.

That's a very common name, I'll think. Well, she's technically property of wish like carnival, ain't she? That's not true. That is slang. We're not going to unpack that in the morrow. That's slander. Gideon. If Oliver died and Pictunia came to you and said,

Where's Twig? Would you lie to Pigtunia? Twigzy, an entire fleet of rabbit folk try to take you down. you killed like 50 of them. I don't even think it's possible that you can die. Answer the question. What a question again? I got so confused by the war crimes.

Gideon, if I died and Pink Tune came to you and asked where Twink was, would you tell her that I was dead or what you lied to her? I wouldn't lie to Pig Tune, but I love Pig Tune. I barely know, Margo. I met Margo like six hours ago. We met Pig Tune like six hours ago.

I met Pig Tunea like 26 hours ago. It's completely different. Okay, yeah, I guess that math checks out. She's also a cute pig. I'm looking at the farm. She's pretty cute pig. She's got a little petunia on her head. Well, it was one of her pig companion, you know, so once we found pig tunia, it was,

I mean, it was all those curtains for me. And you, Twigsie, I mean, really. Oh, no. I just feel real bad about it. And if Morgan shows up and starts saying more stuff about Wigglewog, I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep a mouth shut. Tell Torbeck about it. Look, this is what I was going to say about it. Okay, Torbeck, did you know that Wigoggs dead?

And they've been lying? Torbock just found out, too. Yeah, and now every time she comes around, we're going to have to lie, too, or otherwise we're going to get her friends to trouble. No, I propose that we tell Morgan. This is how laws get a little out of hand. First of all, she's got to be defending the king. Like, how often can she possibly be coming around? circling all over responsibilities.

She's gonna be right at the end. Morgan was like a valiant night. She's gonna be right around the king the entire time. I mean, we're leaving. We're going to have to have to dinner. You know what I mean? And... What did you see Margo again?

To be fair, when we met her, she was quite nasty to us, I might add. Oh, yeah. She wouldn't talk to us, even. Yes. To be fair, the first time I met you guys, you destroyed my...

entire home. And you still cooked his dinner. That's true. Yeah, now Morgan's going to protect you.

I mean, she is doing us a solid. It was a fair trade, right? We made a deal. Yeah. We made good on our end.

She's making good on hers. Yeah. This is what I'll say. I don't, apologies to this seems crass. I frankly don't

give a fuck, all right? You want to tell, go ahead. I don't really care. I just, I haven't slept what feels like, roughly.

The equivalent of Earth Mons, at least three or four of them. Fucking months! And I don't want the last thoughts in my mind before I go to sleep to be about a poor frog lady women over the dead body of some poor frog fella that I've knocked off a towel. Probably broke all every last door in. Did he tell? Primel? Yeah.

That was fun of thought. Did you know that in the Faywild, if you curse it your friend before bed, night never comes, and you have to live in an entire another day without sleep? Oh, no. Well, it's good at you. Curse Adam, he just cursed. Wait a minute. Into the ether, if you will.

What about those free rules to live by? No takes his backsees. Able for E except after C. No. Uh-oh. Gerald always lies. That was three.

Wrong all three times. The first one wasn't right? No, I'm pretty sure. axes, Mexico. His draft comes by two rules implicitly, but that's not the rule. I'm so glad you're here, Frost. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. Oh, that's got a nice way, isn't you?

Oh, that's well, it works, yeah. Ah, see, I was paying attention to trust me. Do you know, I used to have a friend named Garamy? Garime? Yeah, GER, E, M. Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Did he smoke cigarettes? What's a cigarette? It's a small tobacco product.

Nope. You didn't see me when I was in my film noir stage? I looked so cool. Oh, when you were blowing the smoke out your mouth hole. You want one? A cigarette? Hey, you don't want to wear a cigarette, man. No, don't give my cigarettes.

She's like two feet tall. She's probably 80. She's like 8,000 years old. She's older than all of us. No. She's 90% alone. You know, man. I'll try it.

No, don't try it. She looks frog. constantly she's in the hallucinogenics all right she's on way hot of stuff she's got it in she's got a great personality no no no no this is oh my bed what do with it you just suck you put it out and then you walk no not that's eye the other side the other side what's so you're on the other hand are not a lot of time you know now you suck on it now you go see this mode I thought it is and you would say it There's really not too much, too.

Oh, you can't go now. Oh, it's already gone. He just pulled one. Did you swallow? She lung swallows. No, you're supposed to hash it. Oh, God. Did I do it right?

Not even a little. Not even a little. Don't look at me. Wait. You did them. Good job. Now you can say you did it. I didn't like that at all.

And I've never. Everyone do it again. That was a very good lesson, Kremie. To teach twig not to get started on tobacco products. But keep on, keep on with the frog's thing. I mean, that's totally fine. Yeah, that's totally cool. Okay.

Torbeck has been conflicted about this entire conversation from the beginning until now. You want to like my frog? Not okay. You lick the frog, and it has a strange salty, but also sweet flavoring to it. And at first, you just feel the warmth in your mouth. And then all of a sudden, all of the colors that you're looking at amplified by 100 times. And it doesn't necessarily, it's like walking through. if the Beatles in their

drug days made music videos to the ability they could today, that's what it would be like. I see. So everything is yellow submarine. Yeah. I know

not the blue meat is looking at flicking them from that he is a great song I'm like I'm like

I'm there. Not a mandolin. What is the, a sartar comes in. I am very nervous in looking at the canisters on Torbac's back. Nothing happens with them. Torbeck will just kind of like sit there. But it is beautiful. It's as if the Faywild itself was already to an extreme, but now you see it in a way that feels unreal. Torbeck will be mesmerized and content to not have to momentarily.

think about the conversation ahead. So with this one, you just want to make sure you don't get it one in the bigger. It's called Hit No Toad, and she puts it back in her, her pouch. Technically a frog, but you know, I like the word frog better than Toad. I'm exhausted. Yeah, I know. I'm gonna get into this one bed and I'm gonna go to sleep. I look around how many...

There's one. It's all getting to yell. You know it big enough? I'll sleep at the foot in the bed like usual, hoaxie. I don't know. You get in first. I'll get in after you. Does anyone hear that knocking sound?

It's going to keep me up. What is that? What? Is that in the wall? What is that? Yeah, what is that noise? And as you look around, you realize it's not coming from the doors, either one of the doors.

He's coming from the window. All right, be cool, man. And if you go chasing around. It'll be like a PSA. Don't run and jump out. Remember what the door mouse said. Will someone get that? I mean, yeah, sure, I guess.

I'll walk over to the window. Do I see something at the window? There's a curtain in front of the window. I'll open the, I swing wide the curtain. You swing wide the curtain, and immediately you are met with a flapping pig, as Pig Tunya is outside of the window, pushing her seat. snout into the window itself trying to get your attention.

But I knew it hadn't because my spell hadn't dropped, but I was still so worried. Okay, I'll lift the windows. You open the window, she flies in and immediately makes a beeline directly towards Twig and begins to rub her snout up against Twig's nose. And they give each other bunny kisses as Twig wraps her arms around Pigtunia, throws herself on the floor and they start rolling around. Pigtunea's oinking and squeaking, Twig is squealing.

They're so happy to see each other. Welcome back, little pig. Oh, Pigtune. Swig immediately goes still, and her eyes gloss over as she begins to communicate with Pigtunia. It's further confused because of her getting to understand the same thing. And she begins to have a conversation.

In the meantime, Derek roll it E20 for me, please. I'm going to roll this big a. It's always Derek. I would take a five. Would you? As the, as Twig's eyes go blank and she begins to communicate with PigTunia, a minute, two minutes pass, and you're staring out the window. The breeze is coming in, as it waves the curtains back. forth. It's a soft, gentle breeze. And it brings with it all

the smells of the swamp. But your attention is not caught on the wind or the sounds or the smells, but the giant glowing orb in the sky as you look up at the full moon. This is your time to hunt

or you are a vampire. Vampire? Yeah, you got the vampire one. You were convinced that you were a vampire. You aren't. So, sleep. I'm going to bed now. You can just go ahead.

You go to bed. You don't need to like announce it or anything. Yes. We're going to stay up a little bit. We're not going to be quiet. Well, I can't get to sleep. Yes, yes, I was all ready to go to sleep, but I'm being hit with a second wind. Oh, yeah, no, that's nice.

I always love when I get hit by a second wind. It feels very restorative. Should we perhaps play some sort of a game? No, I mean, do you have fun with it? been a fucking wake. Twing's eyes pop open. Oh, my gosh. I have some really important information to tell you.

Information to Sir Telvor. And she was able to bring a key to him and get him out of his cage. He is going to head on his way. They have repaired the balloon enough that they think that they can make it. And she specifically said, they. Who's the Calibon and the pig?

No, pigger's here. What she said was, they. have repaired the balloon, and they are going to make their way to the summer court and tell the summer queen of what you have done for Sir Talivor. Who's, who's they? Like Talavar and a can-do attitude? I don't know. Maybe the snacks? His mustache? I don't know. Though Picterni did say he had quite the dapper stash for such a tiny dragon. I don't know why is that funny.

Wait, so... Of all of the things to get you. Can you ask Pig Tunia if she saw a frog fella working on the balloon? And she immediately goes back into her transfer a little bit. Oh, Plotrist. Look, he might not be dead after all.

Don't make you hope so. Dormick never gets his hopes. Good, it's a good life lesson. The toad is helping. Oh, that's good. Expectations. That's good. Dreams.

And, you know, anything that could potentially be good in the tournament's life is just taking the edge off. God, you reminded me of every bandmate I ever had. Then I had to kick out. Yeah, you know. I'm glad you're feeling you're feeling nice, too, Beck. Takes the edge off, right? Yeah, it coins the voices. Yeah, as long as you don't show up to band practice like that.

Fucking Kenneth. Oh, she said she did see a frog man. And it was a frogman, not a snake? When she got there, the frog man was trying to help her out of the cage, but couldn't do it. Could you ask Big Tunia along the placement of his neck and head on his shoulders? like if it was like or like we may have a zombie

I'm gonna have a zombie I'm gonna have a zombie sure Crick-oh, you really are She goes back into her chance She goes back into her chance Oh man That'd be crazy

If Wigglewog was a zombie man He was just trying to eat talibar or something And it ends up just helping him repair the box What a wacky turn of events Oh, man. Kremi, did you do anything that would have turned him into a zombie? That's your whole thing, isn't it? No, all I did was just put him off the fucking leg.

Oh, what is just one of the good bedrooms? Like, oh, Kremi, you're your good friend, Sotelov. I'm yet, Sotelva, Wigglewog. I will turn him as a zombie because that's kind of my thing. Well, the really good news is if he's some kind of like hellful zombie, I think that washes us of all responsibility in any kind of which way, shape, or form. When I'm not to talk about them? Because everything we said of me is walking around.

We don't have to take our hats off anymore. I don't take our hats off anymore, you know? I think he's out there. Mike Tunia says his head was exactly the way a head should be. Never mind. We're good. I can't do it. What can't you do, Frost?

I don't want to hurt any of you. Okay, then don't. I don't think you could. I'm going to tell you an important super. Okay. And I must go and I must feed and I don't want any of you to stop me. Okay. I am a vampire.

No, you're not. I'm an immortal. No? I am a creature of the night. No. And now I must transform into my vampire form and find a victim to feed on. I just called you frog. That's because you're high on frogs, but I'm not going to hurt you, Twig.

Yeah. So here's the thing. You did this once before, remember? You felt very silly about it. And you said afterwards. It was all a ruse. It was all a ruse to distract you from the fact that I'm a true vampire. I put one leg over the leg of the window.

But you're supposed to tell you no, nah, no you're not. Eh? Yes. So that's what I'm doing, Frost. But that's for your own protection so that I wouldn't strain you of the blood in your body. You're delicious, delicious blood. Then do it, Frost. I'm not going to, don't tempt me.

me and provis. Don't step to me, twig, I will. Look at my drover and everything. I can't even look at you right now. I can't even look at you right now. Maybe this is the Toad's talking. But Turvick is a question. How many times does Frost have to say that he's becoming a vampire or is a vampire? Or a wear cat? Until, you know, like he's got a serious condition.

I mean, this is what a dozen times. five times, three times. There's a very clear condition. There's a clear pattern here. It's a curse that I'll have to live with through immortality for the rest of my undead. Let me, let me stop your idea, Frosty. Cremie, you said the Trinity is in the,

your gumbo, correct? Meamos Gumbo. That's right. Who is the Pope and how much Pope was in that? Oh, yeah, I added a lot of Pope. Into the gumbo, you know what I'm saying? That's got it. Do you know how much garlic you've ingested? By your own rules and laws, you shall be dying on the floor right now and shriveling up.

Then I'm not in the window. More quickly than I am now. I need blood. Do it. I dare you. You've left me no choice. I attempt to bite twig. Yeah.

Roll and roll out of a turn. Oh, my God. Chatschal for a funny. He severs her head from her body. Oh, I love that little guy. I'm in tobacco I get like teeth damage right I don't know what is that

plus X what am I even rolling Torvega's in full freak out load Oh no you get claw damage not teeth damage Yeah I should feel like I should Yeah that's too D4 then Yeah I think so okay oh thank God Oh yeah that's fine

You don't know how much health you know Oh minimum damage Six health points You watch as with almost an unnatural speed. Frost leaps from the window sill where he had been perched, directly on to Twig's tiny body, and sinks his tabaxy teeth into her neck. You watch his blood spurts everywhere. She begins to scream and wriggle. She did not expect this to happen. Though she was antagonizing Frost, she is twig, and this kind of thing is far beyond her. And she is high on frogs. And she begins to

scream and you see as her eyes start to roll back in her head, the frost, not really, Dracula. It'll all be over soon. Hey, hey, let me. Come on. Roll some more damage. Drop it, drop it. I get over to him and I put my,

I put, I put, I put, I put, I put, I put, I put, I put into the sections of his jaw right around here from the back trying to get him to like, hey, drop her, drop her. Let go. Hey, drop it. It would not be hard for you. someone of your strength to pull me away. I'm like, and I do so. I want to pull him away

without him decapitating her, though. Ideally. He, I'm assuming you have not attempted to decapitate. No, no, no, no. I just punctured an artery and to devour as much blood as quick as possible. You launch as twig's body sinks to the ground. And she, as her eyes begin to

roll back in her head. Kiddian, Mr. Gidding, I don't feel so good. In the her, her he almost, oh, oh, oh. But I'm sorry, Twig. It was the only way for me to sustain my unddeath.

No, it's okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on, I got this. I got this. And I'm like putting the mashed bananas up against you. And there's blood cutting. Ah! Oh! Oh, that'll be 10 points of healing.

Oh, there's blood everywhere. Oh, it's sticking like yellow foam. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm so tired. Very, very quickly, the wound in her neck is covered in red banana. But it does begin to heal very

quickly as she, her breath starts to rise and fall more quickly. That was wild. Oh gosh, it's like Ditty Kong's Collective Bulls and Donkey Kong 64. Oh, that's a deep girl. Quing, thank you.

I'm sorry I had to do that. Another day. How are you feeling frost? You can just go to bed like this? Yeah, you just sit on the bed, man, all right? So I'm trying to eat people. I won't need to feed again for another whole day. I mean to be fair-assed for, but I didn't actually think he would do it.

Oh, well, that's true. You see, I know you saw on her all of that. I'm going to spin this into a lesson about actions having consequences. I feel like a lot of this has been a good lesson, but this is another one. Don't ask for troubles. I don't know. I'm so tired. My second win has left.

Wind has left. Torbeck was going to climb in the bed against everyone's protest, but Torbeck's going to go sleep in the corner. It's a little awkward now that the bed's covered like a pint of blood. And Torbeck will quickly like shuffle over the corner and like shrink down to the corner.

We're going to continue to be friends. You're going to have to learn how to sleep in blood, Gideon. This would be a common occurrence. Oh, because you're a vampire. Why do we have to do that? This is that. Yes This is the second time

In less than 24 hours That he has become a vampire Yeah I mean Listen if this is gonna be like a new thing Can you just learn to be less sloppy When you eat people And try and reduce the body count

That's like mildly Think about the way that I sucked down that sigmarrette You know I just And then it was gone So if you could just latch on to the start of my neck, and then you just make it like a suction cup with your lips?

I mean, it's not like a straw. I can't just pull all the, only the blade, there's, there's, also you're in a mad rush when you, when you, when you, when you feed on blood. In fact, now that I've been on you, if you wanted to be a vampire, then you could feed on me. Okay. He could be immortal together for eternity. Swig leaps at you and bites into your wrist. I don't know, man. Do we just go to bed? We're back's quietly sobbing in the corner. It's all this happening. Rossi. You don't...

Oh, no. You're a vampire. You don't have the rot sleeping utensils. Do you think that these frogs have coffins? Do you think, did I do it? She's got blood all over her mouth. Yes. In the morning, you'll die and you'll come back to life.

To becksy hair between my teeth. Where's... Oh, minstrels. No, no, no. We need a coffin. We need a coffin. We need a coffin. Good.

Would you kindly please punch Frost until he goes to sleep? I'm going to bed. I'm going to sleep in the bed. What kind of would you kindly is this? It's just suggestions. It's just the actual stuff. Punch him, oh, yeah. Oh, bro, you don't know what's coming, man.

You think you're getting away from this? I'm going to put you to bed so fast. I'm going to tuck you in. I'm going to read you a night. you're going to bed, you're going to see stars. You're going to see stars and maybe guards. You're going to read you in such a nice little book. You're going to remember it for the rest of your night time.

Hurry. Here I come. Here comes the choo-choo train. Open your mouth. I'm going to punch you a dead one. Here I come. It only takes the first punch. As you punched in, Ross's eyes immediately rolled back into his head.

Eddie and for the rest of his life. You go sleep with Uncle Tolbat. Honestly, you have tall claws. Okay, good. That's a good hoot. Isn't that nice? She's snuggling up. Oh, you can't get away from her.

She's very fast. He's so, yes, you can't get away from Outs. Oh, she isn't that nice? That doesn't sound horrifying at all. Don't hang on. You can't get away from Rooney. Lovely. See in Sky?

Oh, she's in that. Nice. There's not nice. Don't talk Torbeck. I'm a vampire now, so I'm going to protect you. She sits down right in front of you and she just stares off into the distance. Don't worry, though. I'm an animal-eating vampire because I eat a cat first. Torbeck may have eaten a cap once. That's a story for another. Allegedly, allegedly. Torbeg is very tired. Good night, Torbeck.

Good night, Twig. She's gonna cast sleep on you. He needed that. He's caught up in their A-D-S. He met like the entire room. Yeah. We all draft where we are. Usually on the one getting in bunch of.

After I stored through the air with the people's elbow, knocking at a frosty, I just look, ugh. And with that, you all find yourselves in a deep slumber. A peaceful, dreamless slumber. You can all enjoy a long rest. Oh, yes. Go! Nice.

Oh, should I character sheet? I'm playing a game, I guess. I took a long rest. Do I recover one level of exhaustion? You do. You do? You do? You do?

You do? You do? You do? Are exhausted? Yeah, from that? Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wake up first.

You do. You wake up first. You wake up first and your face hurts. You have been punched square in the nose and you find that your nose is swollen and purple and yellow. Soft to the touch, there is dried blood caked up on the fur above your upper lip.

And you are... Some of this is quigs. That's true. And you are in a world of hurt, but you no longer believe you are a vampire. It's really remarkable how that happens. You just believe something, and you can't control it in your mind, no matter how many doors of logic you might go down. I'm going to enter the bathroom, wash myself as best I can.

I'm not going to take like a full bath, but I want to clean myself up so that I can spend the next hour, hopefully before anyone waits. As you walk through the room, you see that the rest of your friends are asleep on the bed. All but Torbeck, Twig, and Hootsie. Torbeck is in the corner leaning up against the wall, completely asleep snoring. Hootsey is snuggled up against him, keeping it warm, and Twig is lying on the floor, her arms crossed over her chest. As she stares up at the ceiling, her eyes wide open. I'll walk over and I'll do this across her face just to wave my hand.

Are you awake? Yeah. Stay quiet. Don't blink the others. Okay. You're now a vampire, yes? I know. I drank your blood.

I'm a vampire. It's a secret. There are vampire hunters out there in the world. You should make sure that they don't become aware of you. I have a question. I don't thirst for blood. Yes. I want muffins.

Is it possible I'm a muffin vampire? It's entirely possible. There are different types. What if I also kind of want pancakes too? Well, you have that choice. Perhaps you're just a carb vampire. But what about the fact that I kind of want to slap a bacon? Well, the bacon, you can just enjoy it for the luxury of it. As a vampire, you don't have to only eat one type of thing. Really? Yes, yes, yes, yes. You can eat whatever. That's the joy of being a vampire.

But you think that my vampirism is carbohydrate, Imperism? Uh, yes, carb a, carb of vampire. I'm a vampire. Vampahydrates. Yes, that's correct. I'm just gonna call myself a vampire. And if you don't have carbs every 24 hours, then you'll start to waste away and your

on death will become a living nightmare. I guess I'll eat a lot of pasta. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, then make sure you stay on top of that. I'm going to eat a muffin now then, if you're sure. Well, don't let the muffin bite you, otherwise it'll become a carb vampire itself and try to... What are you? What are you? Teeth.

To your knowledge. Okay. Be careful. Oh, well. She reaches into her little back, her little satchel, and she pulls out a muffin. Mm-hmm. You got teeth? Yes.

Don't do that. Sorry. Blueberry. That's a good muffin. Mm-hmm. I'm going to go and wash the blood off of my face now, Twig. Look at the guy who's my glove. Yeah, I did that while you guys were sleeping.

You did what? Wash the blood off of my face. Oh, that was wise. That was wise. I would have done that, but Gideon punched me in the face until I was unconscious. Yeah. Your nose is looking so good. No, it hurts.

I look like a Muppet. You want to wake up, great. go and see if he could give you all of his bananas, because that front tooth is holding on, but only barely. I feel that. I'm going to let them rest a little longer. I'd offer you a muffin, but I'm a fear you'd lose a teeth in it. I will wait until they wait.

It's been a, yesterday was very long. I don't want to wake anyone. I want some peace and quiet. I want to meditate. I want to get cleaned up. I want to sit, and I want to think about, palace of my mind and become one with the universe

again and remember my old ways of teaching and learning and become who I'm meant to be, understand? Yeah, well, I won't bug you any more then. I'm going to go back to my peaceful eternal unrest. Okay. Go around as anyone else

asleep or awake? Everyone else is asleep. Walk over and wash my face. Did my hands in the loop bucket. I'll sit down and I will cross my legs and I will... I just want you to know I am currently putting you all become Muppets on the adrenaline.

Oh my God, that's fucking incredible. Not until we actually get Muppets though. Wouldn't it be amazing if you actually twist it? Oh, no. That would be incredible. If I can get on that production team. Yeah, Rich and I'll just... Yeah, just fucking...

We'll lock us in the basement or that because we'll make a bunch of puppets. I'll fit down, and I'll run up rifle through my backpack, and I will find a few sticks of incense that allow me to focus that remind me of my childhood, of growing up, of my psionic waves and the order that taught me, and I will endeavor to center myself

for what I am hoping to be a more peaceful, day and to shield myself from the curses that occasionally blow through like a wind. And I will sit in silence thinking that way and reorganizing my mind and shielding myself in this way until anyone wakes. And you do that until somebody else arises. Nobody wakes. Everyone sleeps. Yes?

You've been in here for three and a half hours. It's been three and a half hours. hours? Yep. And everyone's still asleep? Uh-huh. I go over to the curtain and I open it. Like what time of day does it look to be? I don't know, like 7.30 in the morning. Oh, I'm going to... Oh, I'm going to...

Oh, heaven. Everyone's still sleeping in. Yeah, you got up real early. Yes, I did. You also got up very early. I didn't sleep last night. And as you're looking into her eyes, you see that they're incredibly bloodshot. Oh, my gosh. I told you, I have begun the journey. of my terminal unrest.

Yes. Well, perhaps you should consider some rest. Well, I can't, though, because I don't have soil from my homeland and a coffin asleep in. What is your homeland? This is going to be quite a quest for you, then. I know.

It sounds like a whole campaign. It scares me frost, because I don't know. I heard on the Google that you could only stay up for 11 days straight until you die. But the thing is, I'm already dead. I'm dead. So, I don't know what that means for me.

Oh, well, if you die as a vampire, you... Have you ever met a Google before? A Google? Yeah. Is that some sort of they creatures? Yeah, yeah, they know everything. You just ask them a question and they'll give you the answer. Sometimes it's right, sometimes it's wrong.

It's rolling dice. Is that ill-mentologically connected to the word Googleplex, do you think? You know, I don't know what that word means because they never went to school. So probably... Well, that must be a very strange thing. What is the word Google Blacks mean? I don't have time to explain it to you now. I'm very busy.

I'm going to get some breakfast for the rest of the gang. Do you want to join me? Yeah, okay. All right. Do you know where we get breakfast here? We can head back to where the electric chef was done. That's where they said the kitchens was normally, but I don't know if that's where, like, the continental breakfast

to set up or if we go back to the dining hall. What do you think they have those really awful frozen egg rolls? Almost certainly. Let's avoid those. And stay close to me in the kitchen area. I'm still worried about the Beasel. It's what you should be. In the corner, it's a sprad.

It's like it's very flat thing. It's with a chorus of whole. Like a fucking horrible algae fungus. It's developed like a mouth of the mouths of the Beasel wakes with the sun. You want to have a little ocean. All my fingers hate. The Beez is the sunset of the monitor. Love the Beasel.

Yeah, okay. So, you want to start at the kitchens? We'll start at the kitchens and we'll be on the hunt for more carbs. You think they made us a Beaselberry breakfast? I hope not. Every people get used for these foods, as delicious as they are. Unleash is an abomination on the Faye Wild, but they destroy us all. Yeah, they're unfeely Faye and they go straight down into the depths of the Fadark. The Beezil Remnants, the Beezil that wakes.

The Beasel Beyond. The Beesle Beyond. Come on, let's go. Okay, I want to be so Burry Breakfast, so, because I'm a car vampire. I know, let's go. Okay. I grab her hand, and we walk down the hallway

and to the kitchen. Perfect. Can we do that? You can't stay in asleep? Right, I'm ready to go, fellas, let's go. You hear the sound of the door slamming shut joltz you awake. All right, fellas, let's go.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Oh, Tiffany, go. The host, I don't know. What's going? Is it? Oh, good morning, Hootie. How long have you been up?

Oh, you let Papa sleep in. That's so sweet. What do you want for breakfast? Cake! That's ridiculous. You can't have cake for breakfast. Oh. Old sense wins.

That violates like all sorts of international law. Oh, Greg. No cake for breakfast, and that's fun. Man, adventures. Cups. Cupcakes, that is ridiculous. You can have that for dessert. No cupcakes for breakfast.

Oh, who frosting gets his muffins? Yeah. $15. Thank you. We got a big day ahead of us. We're going to go deal with that resistance, right, and just call the whole thing off. Explain what we did,

make sure that the king doesn't get executed. And then now we have dinner with Babylon, and then hopefully we get the fuck out of here. First, infiltrate the rebels. Second, spread it away. of how King Gallup is actually a pretty not-gown. And we should change the culture of constantly murdering all of our monarchs. And how he's probably not quite a totalitarian leader as the previous 8,000 generations.

Torbac, it is, as Grico is saying this, that the room around you goes dark. Where once had been the beautiful colors of the Faywild, you are now surrounded by hues of gray. Welcome. Fifty shades of gray, actually. As you realized that there is a mystery to solve, you are a detective, a film noir detective. And this is your story to tell.

Uh-oh. I can't do this as good as pros. Noir movie. Noir. Bees, I'm just rally. A while not, especially with that tone. Yeah, yeah, totally do it. Did I even give you the right one?

No, I don't think I gave you the right one. Free. All right. Then, once we've done that, we meet, have dinner with Pavlona. Yeah. I gave it the wrong one. I'm sorry, I gave you five and not 50. E.

We continue our false flag on the accolades of scabify, question mark. I think I already did that in the play. I feel like we continued out hold of Rze. Yeah. and we lay the whole, you know, the whole darkling thing. I don't think she's discovered that yet. We can maybe hint at it. She'll discover it, and then hopefully we can get the fuck out of here.

You watch as... Torbeck's shape changes. You're not a film nor a detective, because that's number five. You watch as you slowly change from a three-dimensional being into a two-dimensional spright. Like, I literally only exist in two dimensions. Yes. Sprite is in like a pixie 8 bit, like a 8 bit

A video game spread A video game spread Is like, he just went paper Mario I am just tormented I'm two dimensional Yeah That means I can pass it Three dimensional objects

From a certain angle Anyway From a certain Yeah So then all of a sudden It would just be like Oh Have you not heard the tale

Growing up in your Goburnoid village Ah What? Heard what? Torbick. What do you think about music and dancing? Dormick has always enjoyed dancing a little bit.

I'll do a military... Get behind the... What is it? The stool that we all kept tripping over. He's been sent by the... You know who? You know who was... Groglin! The Groglin!

How is this related to the fucking Groblin? He's from the same dimension. Only the Groblin can walk between dimensions and worlds. How did Tobek gain such a power? He must have corrupted his blood. Why is Brickle's saying? He has heard the stylish jingle of the Groglin. It's significant.

beginningly more likely that Twigs he drugged us all in our sleep. Yeah, this is just like a shared hallucination, or maybe this is just part of his magic. Well, we're probably still dreaming. We did all sleep in the same bed. Well, what's interesting is that Torbay, how do you feel? Because it seems like there's no space for your vital organs. Dormac feels lighter. Dormac's neck is a little stiff, though. Dormac can't quite look around the whole room. Wait, hold on. Let me try something.

I want to get up and then walk around to the side, and Torbick literally disappears. Once I look at him this way, because there's no dimension. Oh my fucking God. Torbeck, you there? Yes, Mr. Gramey. Torbeck is here. Come check this out, Guy.

What are you? What's happening? Oh, okay. Look at him directly from the side. He just doesn't exist. No, no, no, no, no. And then like a jump scare, Torbeck turns 90 degrees at you like. Oh, no.

Oh, no. What a heck? Oh, God. You guys don't like it about Taborbe? Oh, God, are you like flat or something? He's two the mansion. Maybe. Toobach, I mean, not Taubeck.

I'm not speaking to you while you are in this horrid form. Gideon, you missed it in the, you haven't seen the true terror that I have witnessed and have heard Taya love. If a very jaute, catchy keyboard, default jingle begins to play Torbeck is truly lost Torbeck doesn't want to be lost

and then I will try to shuffle over to Grico And I stub my two-dimensional foot on a chair Ow! Boop, boop, yeah! I can take up less, please! This is a little more convenient You know, you know what? This guy's invisible from the side.

We could use this for advantage. What do you think? fellas. I guess he's technically more... We shouldn't have used dark powers. He's such as is this.

What the heck are you talking about, man? You won't there. You won't there. You won't there. You won't there. Crummy knows what I'm talking about. Crummy knows how terrified.

No, that was just more drugs, all right? We were on a drug fucking mind-caught thing. No, that was real. It was all... It's just a spooky dark ride. It's supposed to make you feel that way. Is that when I was in the hospital?

Yeah, you were in the hospital. Yeah, you were in a coma. Well, you missed a lot. You missed the... You missed the... You missed the Tower of Terror. You miss Gaisna. No, I miss Gaisna.

I was there for most of the guys' night. Frosty missed Givesnoughton. Oh, Frosty missed him. He was having a guy not. And that is when you realize, that Frost is gone. Yeah. Oh, I thought he was getting us breakfast.

Continental breakfast. You were asleep during all that. Huh. I just hoped he was. I was hoping he's always talking about breakfast. Are we, are we going to find him? Hold on a second. And then Torbeck will shift towards the door and do this.

And as he runs at the door, he hits the door. And then I keep running in places the entire scene shifts. And my spread catches up, and now the next room is loaded like Megamann. And then I get the next room and I stop. And it is at this time that Frost, what are you doing? Have we been able to make food selections and return with a tray of goods? Is that what you would like to do? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, you and Twig were easily able to make your way down to the kitchens, and they're still cleaning up a little bit from Electrum Chef, but seeing who you are and knowing that Kremi was the person that had won and that you were one of the judges, everyone is more than happy to help you, and you and Twig both make your way back to the room with Trimmy. Trays, silver trays, piled high with all kinds of breakfast goods. Twigs is filled with muffins and cakes, croissants, every possible carb you could possibly imagine, and a giant container of fresh-made butter.

Yours is piled high with varying types of meats and insects. But knowing that they, had guests in attendance for this morning who were not Bullywugs, the king had ordered that they procure additional delicacies, and so there are things like ham and bacon

and sausage that had been pulled in from other regions in downfall. But as you get to the door, you realize that all of your hands are completely someone, open the door. What are we going to do now? Well, we have to wait for them to open the door.

Well, how do you get it to open the door? I'm kicking the door. and I'm asking them to open it. Use your fucking mind, Fralls. You guys can't hear any of what's happening outside because all of what you're doing is currently happening at the same time. As Torback is doing what Torbeck does,

Grico is screaming about the Groblins. No! Oh, he has a mention. Oh, wow, blah, blah, blah. Do you see that? Well, I'm going to open the door with my mind. It's like Kremi just yelled at me in the back of my head to some of the air.

He does that, doesn't he? And now, I will use my mind hand to open the door. Baird. Torbeck. You're looking very mathematical. I just promised to have treats. Yes. 500 points.

500 points. 1,000 points. 1,000 points. You have all these hearts that start filling out. I believe... And then Torbeck grows back to a normal size, two-dimensionally, obviously, but he's back to normal-sized. That is remarkable. Look at what happened to you.

What has happened to you? Oh, he got all of the cherries in front, bro. Oh, he's getting all of them! You've become a two-dimensional object? Mm-hmm. That's what Toramex told. Well, does that mean that you'd be able to slip through other three-dimensional objects? Maybe.

I will attempt to like pass through the bed. Just like pass through the three-dimensional objects. I can like walk at it. Yeah. I defy physics in front of false eyes. Amazing. This can come in handy.

Do you have the ability to turn it on and off again? Is this perhaps connected to your witch-like? No, Torbeg hopes not. Here, everyone enjoy some meats. Tourbeck, how are you going to pee? Well, Tourbeck will have to get back to on that. one. Okay.

It's a good thing that you went in this direction and became two-dimensional instead of becoming a fourth dimensional being, where you would be able to witness your birth and death at the same time and all the events in between. That's a nightmare. That hurts Torbeck's brain, Frost. Torbeck? Do you want to be Torbeck again? Oh, Torbeck is kind of Torbeck, but Torbeck does miss the third dimension.

Yeah, hey, how come if you can walk through that bed, you don't fall through the floor? I just vanish I just vanished. No! You don't ask that about it, you don't ask that. But then once I fall through the floor, I just come back from the ceiling. Cootty is completely ignored all of this and is at the breakfast table

to scoop it all of the muffins. Everyone have a full breakfast. We may have a long day ahead of us, and I think it's important that we all start off the day right. We have the carbs, But it's important to know that I am a vampire. And Frost told me I'm a carb vampire. So as much as you want to eat the muffins,

we're going to make sure most of them are for me. Be gone from this world monster. What? Why would she say that, Torbeth? Two-dimensional holding wall On that fucking holy water man The whip hit the side of the castle wall Explodes right over Grico

And a fucking fully cooked chicken Appeal! I just gave her away. It destroyed the chandelier And a heart just It just Oh This is

Oh Who shall I say you got Muffin It's not much healthy You're them cupcakes, duh. There's anything you can imagine here. Oh, see me a banana. Eat up. There's plenty of carbs left. Yep. I got to eat as many carbs as possible because I'm in sleep last night.

You can say the thing, Frost. Go ahead. What's that? About breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day? Yeah, no. All right, we got that out of the way. Are you fucking eat and go? Yep.

Talking to eat in a time like this. It's pretty easy. You just open your mouth and chew. Joe may I fix your bag first? Yes, please, Twig. Okay, come here. Put this straw on your mouth. And she blows you back up. Some of the smoke from the cigarette last night coming out of his ears, nose, and mouth.

Oh. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah. Thank you, Twig. You're welcome. Your life belongs. Oh, I can't. I can't. I can't eat something like that's happened.

Oh, all those blueberry banana pancakes. Oh, and some sausage world. I also got you this bowl of sugared brand product. I believe you poured milk on it. And then you can enjoy this as a treat in addition to a balanced breakfast such as this. Oh, I guess so. Sugared brand products?

Oh, well. I believe they're called flakes. Oh. It says here that the federal government says that this is going to be healthy and it's going to be good and they're not going to regret this in several years. I'm thinking about your heart. Oh yeah, I mean, good for heart health. Oh yeah, it's got to be good for my heart. I mean, look at how much high fruit fruit could tell us say corn syrup. Oh, there's so much of it, it's

going to be good for me health. Oh, they had this like a vat of it. Okay, here we go. Oh, it's good for the children. Oh, it's good for the children. You know how happy that heart looks like a painter on the box. Yeah, it's why. It's got me good things. Oh, there's a colorful cartoon garage on the box. It must be for children. I'll have one of the Beasel tarts. Yeah. Does anyone want to share Beezaberry breakfast with me? Make sure that you eat them quickly, otherwise they'll make your eyes scream.

They'll make ice cream? Your eyes scream. Your eyes will close and then when they open again, a small ridge of teeth on both sides will yell out. It's a nightmare. Thanks. I'm good. Doormich just happy? You want Beaselberry bacon and Beaselberry eggs? Is that a thing? Yeah, it's part of the Beaselberry breakfast. It's great. Feast upon all flesh. Our bellies are fat. That's what I was going to say. I think this is a terrific meat.

Eat our soups. Terrific. When in downfall. This is when it tries to run. Hey guys. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatress. And gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign.

Pain set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com and pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror dome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice and miniatures and plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Torbeck thanks you.

Get a game. Oh, I can add bezo berries to this corn-high fructosei corn syrup confection, and it's healthy. Because there's fruit in a... And you'll see this a horrible tentacle. It's risen off from the berries. Oh, oh, you. Oh, you, Beasel, get back down there. Part of a complete.

Surely they won't be constantly. Anyway, let's go. It is the most important movie all over the day. Oh, I feel great. Yep. A Beasles and Bakesh goods, so I'm ready to go. All right, let's go. It's only 8 o'clock.

We've got a whole day ahead of us. We do. What are we going to do first? Well, we're going to go to this address right here, and I point out the piece of paper with the address written on it. This is where the revolution is, this is their safe house. Okay. What are we going to do after that?

And then we're going to, I don't know, get dinner with Babylon. Okay. Do you remember how to do that? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Because I don't. We've to like pull on one of the

one of the last. I may something just shows up somewhere. A bucket will collect us when we go to the appropriate tower, which she told us and I remember perfectly how to get there. She even handed us his map, if you recall. I was studying it. Good, I'm glad we have that. Let's not

lose it. That would be horrible. What does it smell like? Oh, it smells like stale bathwater. I knew you were going to say bathwater. Concredos. Old people's soup. I mean, you know, Frosty, if you had told me what old people's soup smells like,

that's disgusting, first of all, Frosty, second of all, I have no way to comprehend what that would smell like. This is what exactly what that smells like. Third of all, I wouldn't have eaten so much of it. Just don't burn it. When we're done with it, we're... How is it still moist? I love to have to dry last night.

Oh, ha. This disturbs even torment. Do the thing. Oh. Well, how can you break it out? Is there anything that we need to do before we go and endeavor to change the minds of the rebellion? We need to make sure that King Gallup is still alive. Oh, that's a fair point, actually. I like that.

We'll swing by on the way out. If you remember, he specifically told you he would not be available today to see you. Yeah. Well, I presume it's the answer. like bells ringing and commotion. The king is dark. The king is the slide. White smoke.

White smoke in the dead. I've laid to the bloody cube. Oh. Let's go. I lead everyone to the address that's written on the piece of paper. It doesn't work that way. But you do, however, you don't know downfall. You would have no idea where that address.

presses. You know what's But you have, Do you have to the address? Do you know where the secret address is?

You really think they'd protect this information? Can you help us to this adrum? But you have, with your map of downfall, which I'm assuming you guys still have, yeah.

Oh, you're doing the whole bit of that. No, your actual map of downfall? Oh, no, we don't have that anymore. What you do know is, do know is that you have experienced about half of the map of downfall so far. Starting from the winding river that leads into downfall that's on the left side of the map. You have gone clockwise around to the large structure that is the palace on the opposite side, doing about half of the map, exploring about half of the map of downfall.

I'm looking to the top rock. No, no, that's the center. It's an autistic rendition. They're both the same place. This is the side view. It's the same place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andy, you can point to the other side of the map.

Now, knowing that what you have explored is the bottom half of this map, you looking at it, you imagine that you could easily leave the palace of the soggy court, soggy castle, and make your way to the docks outside, thus procuring a boat that would take you across the narrow waterway to the opposite side of downfall and that you imagine you could begin your search there in a part of this city that you have yet to experience. Cool, all right. Don't ask anybody for directions.

They trusted us with this address and while we're gonna try to convince them that what they're doing is wrong, we don't wanna accidentally get all these folks executed. You understand? I can keep it cool. My name is Frost. We also need to have a very long conversation about how you pulled off a horrible

Eldridge magic from the other dimension, their dimension. Okay, here we're going. But we're too busy for this session to have that conversation. All right. And I will forget about us in many weeks. Let us procure a boat. We have to go down to the docks. I imagine there might be some sort of animated character that we might.

meet there. The imagination runs in small. Do we think that would be the fastest way to get down here? I literally just said that you thought that would be the fastest way to get there, yeah. That was part

of my description of what you could possibly do or would think. That's a great idea. Thank you for listening to me, Derek. I try. Even though you're on my bad side, I'll link about 50%. Oh, a boat. Very nice.

You make your way out of the castle. And you are stopped here and there by members of the soggy court that are excited to see you and give you accolades for both your performance in the play, the hopper up, and your performance in Electrum Chef. And it does take you, I would say, probably about 45 minutes. to make your way out to the dock because of how many of the soggy court is excited to see you. Oh, a bouquet for me. And in these conversations, you learn two things.

That the sake court is very pleased for the first time ever with the king of the soggy court. That King Gullup is held in high esteem, and that the tale of morgo, the valiant night of war, has spread all around, not just the palace itself, but all over downfall. And that the people feel a sense of pride and a sense of protection over their king. That is unheard of for this place. And the final piece of information is that Pierre S. Cargo has made it through the night. And he looks to be making a full recovery. Everyone is happy to hear this as they know that Cremant.

LeCru is not going to be able to stay on as the head chef of the castle and they didn't want to lose their ability to have delicious fare and though he will need some rest he will be maintaining his position as the lead chef at the soggy castle.

What they failed to mention is that now it looks like chung from the guineas. Oh, oh really, that's what happened when a bean explodes in your face. You just get to come back from that. And it is with that information, you're able to make your way down to the dock. The dock is actually bustling. You see that this is more than likely where that band of Bullywugs had gotten into their boat

and made their way out onto the lake. That this is a place where many of the upper class of downfall come to procure boats, go on dates, just enjoy the weather. and you see that there is a small station at the front where there is a bully wug in a red and white striped shirt, a pair of khaki pants, and a, why he's smiling me like that? I don't know. Why are you smiling at me like that?

Just smiling. Maybe it's a little comfortable, but also really happy in a strange way. Anyway, she has a cute little bowler hat on, and a bow tie to match. And he is sitting there on a wooden stool, and you see as he leads a pair of Bullywugs over to a boat, helps them get in, unties the rope, and sends them out on their way to enjoy the afternoon.

Can we say that all of the boats are the little like paddle boats? You know what, sure. Also shaped like swarms. Oh, the band of Ballywolds. They're shaped like dragonflies. They're shaped like dragonflies. Oh. I think that we might be able to bring up.

procure a boat from this bowling hat wearing gentlemen. He has a boatite you can see. He's probably got a wacky accent. There's a vendor that has the band of Bollywugs' box set. Can you grab those DVDs? Yeah, you just want me to take them from them? Okay. Yeah. You got to grab the DVDs. Oh.

What are DVDs? What are DVDs? Grego. Come on, Gregor Tell us. What DVDs are? You asked me to get the box set of DVDs from this gentleman. Burnow's leaving us on the edge of our seats. Yeah, he looks like he's gonna explode. Doesn't matter on this coat of a boat.

He's even got to get anything. My eyes are like bulging out. What a new fella? Well, hello, it's nice to meet you. Are you looking to procure a boat? Yes, we would like to procure one boat if it'll hold the six of us. Well, I'm not sure we have one. that could fit five.

We have one that could fit six. Oh, well, I see the little one down there. Yes, and we also have an owl bear and a peg tuna. Oh, well, you're going to need something similar to a catamaran. We don't have one of those, but you do have a very large paddle boat. Oh. That would work. It would have been cruel if you said,

ah, we're going to need a bigger boat. I'm Richard Flyfuss. Wow. We are going to need a bigger boat, and my name is Jacob Hopps. I am. Earthlifers. This is a pretty good name, too. Is that a very common last name in this part?

Hops? Pops, yeah. Well, my entire family is the Hops family. So I would say it's pretty popular among the Hops family. Well, certainly. All right, we'll take one. Did your ancestors own a microbrewery? Torbeck thinks it's more akin to Torbeck's last name being smelly hair.

I'll hear last. Is that actually a last man? No, Tarbeck doesn't have a last name. Torbeck was giving an example. Oh, that makes perfect sense. Tarbeck's name is just Tarbeck. Torbeck's always been jealous of people with more than one name. Do you want a last name?

Maybe another time, Frost. Now hardly seems like. like the time. No, we're talking to this bowling-hatted Jacob Hops. That was not the time at all. I was just talking about this bowling hat. You think it's a on choice? It's a bowler hat.

What's not a bowling? I feel like it's very, what you would expect for any of the frogs in this area, they're, you know, dressed in the period of appropriate way, or one might wear a bowler cap. You mean bowling hats. Yeah, it clearly says green lanes bowlery.

Mm. Yeah. Got it against me somehow. How much for the boat, Mr. Hop? Well, a small bit of joy, I think, would do it. Well, why don't you just add it to a tab and I'll show the King's Ribb, Night Ribbon that we got from the...

Well, that's lovely, but we don't do tabs here. Oh, I've got a little bit of a joy. Ha-ha. I'll pour the ball in a cup. Oh, oh, I'm going to try you. You see me to get the ball in the cup. Oh, I miss. But the ball is on a string, so it doesn't drop.

Ball in a cup. A lot of performance, Jack. I've never once seen you get this. That's because this was meant for Jacob Hopps. For I cannot get it because I am not his right for master. Oh, not enough to come up. Okay. The elder ball in a cup.

performance you say that'll be a 16 he a big smile crosses his face my daughter would love something like that and the joy on your face while you play with it seems like it is

quite the toy I would love to accept this in exchange for our largest boat aha well who you go Mr. Hopps but the boat must be back here by the end of the evening will anything happen to the boat

if we don't return. Well, we have no way to dock it or more it if it's not here. We've dinner plans. We'll be back. Yeah. Lovely. Bada-do. Oh, see a board in the nice man.

Who'd see? Thank you. She loves the boat, cries. See, man. And he will walk you to the end of the dock and help get you into the boat. Well, that was easy. Apparently we just moved these paddles with our

legs and some of us may have to paddle faster or slower than the others in order for us to turn left to right. I'll try and slow down so you can keep up frost it. Man, there's only two paddles, so you fellas never skip leg day, clearly, so why don't you jump in and go for it? Oh, hold on, I can do it. I can do it. Oh, my feet don't reach. His feet dangles, it tries to get to the battles. If Torbeck tries his knees or passes years. is very unfair. Torvex spine.

No, I can't reach. I'll see my foot. I can barely move it one thing by trying to stretch. Well, if you really wanted to, you'd probably get on your hands and knees and just work the pedals with your hands. I would not be doing that. I'll take the other sign. You can take the

right. Yeah, okay. I'll go real slow, so you can keep up. We call that as a Starboard. What? The one? Why? What kind of bird is into stars? That's ridiculous.

It's just what, I don't know, it's what we call it in an augway. If you're on a boat, you see Starvin's side. I'm not familiar with the nautical terms. Is there, you're, you're not sure what the reason is? I didn't come up with the fucking word. It's not like I'm offended it from. What is the other side? What is the other side called?

Well, if I'm facing this way, off the side of the boat, now my right's to the stern. Well, what? So the direction actually changed. changes depending on where you're facing. Well, no, I'm saying that these terms provide a frame of reference that always points to a specific direction versus I can say right, and I might mean right the way I'm facing. But if I say starboard, you always know that it's the right side of the boat. That makes logical sense.

That's just how we do it in an odd way. Well, do we need to go starboard direction in order to get to our destination? You've got the map. No, we just, I mean, you just go straight. What's the other side? It's pretty easy. Well, I appreciate you sharing knowledge, grummy.

The other side's port. Oh, Dormac's glad we clearing that up. Starburd and Port? They sound nothing alike. There's no relationship there at all. Is there a relationship between right and left? Well, yeah, one is to the right and one's to the left. No, no.

Relationships, one's to the right, and one's the left. Oh, there you go. He's got you there. No, it's pretty good. I just wish that I understood it elemental etymologically. I'm going to George Washington. I'll sit on the front of a boat and I'll just, I'm helping.

I'm supercathes. So how many people are actually pedaling? Just Gideon. I would like to have you make a, let's do athletics, a disadvantage. It makes me sad. Well, because this is a six-person. Athletics?

This is technically an eight-person. person vote because of Hootzie and Twig someone can canonically said there were only two petals No I I told you that you gave you the biggest boat so it's a boat for eight people

who would make up such a lie who would do that go on the internet and tell why so is it basically the boat version of those really obnoxious long bike thing that drunk tourists in the city And they all paddle

And they're a long dragon flight. It's got two, two, two, and two. If it's just the two of us, I got a 13, 23. A disadvantage? A disadvantage? I don't have a 16 and a 20 and a plus seven. Yeah.

Wow. It just spins in a circle. It had started to, but you are able to correct all of Frost's wrongs. And as Frost tries to take you in the opposite direction, You're able to move him. You're able to correct it and you slowly make your way to the other side.

Oh, Houcci wants to try. Oh, you're little feet to. And she's very excited and she gets in the seat and it's like, it's very awkward. But she's figuring it out and she's paddling like, oh, you're doing so great Hootie. While we start to move, they're the only two paddling that, right? Okay. Torback. And now Hootzi is. Nice way. And Tzubert will go over to Gricka and say- That Hootsie needs to roll at disadvantage. Hey, hey, Greco. Torbeck knows that you have magic bananas. So.

Oh, you are able to correct Frost's mistakes, but you're not able to correct the mistakes of two people. And as Hootsie, who is just a small child like Albear, is paddling furiously backward, you are finding it increasingly difficult to keep this boat going straight. She's too strong. As you begin to... When the green's the starboard, fellas, come on.

As you begin to veer out to open sea. No, that's pork. That's pork. Come on, the other way. Oh, yes. What was that, Torbeck that you were saying? Oh, no, it's okay. The banana, the magic bananas.

Torbeck recognizes Grico as somewhat of a doctor, and was hoping maybe you can check Torbeck's pork butt. for a weird rash that's going on? I mean, I'm more of a naturalistic healing. Well, Dormac's not a thank you. Whenever they say, you know, doctor, it's kind of more of a, you know. Torbanks worried it might start spreading to the starboard, but, gee, if you know what Dormack means. You should probably give his Bork some attention.

Okay, seeing how we have Tom. Who's you doing great. You're the one doing all the work. Okay, let's take a look. Just thinking maybe a banana pulled this one, uh, clear it right up. We just, you know, whatever. We are the rash. You are wrong with us.

Is it filming? It's like a cracking fight. I'm running away, and then a Beaselberry tentacles grabs me and slides me back. Off screen. We have that adventure. We have that adventure. He's yelling at Frost. with all of this happening, it takes about an hour

for you to make your way across the small channel from the palace to the... People are watching us on the shore like, boy, they do it. Okay, it takes us an hour to get to the boat, an hour to go 50 feet. That tracks. Dust tracks.

But you are able to get the... We're able to get the Beaselberry off of Torbeck's butt and into the water, how it will fare submerged, what it will turn into in the depths. You do not know. But that is a problem for future downfall as you make your way to the other bank and you are able to moor the boat and make purchase on land. Well moored, idiom. Yeah, you too. You know, you too. And Hootsie Hiltzzi helped.

Oh, Hoosie, you've done so great. Do you know what they call it more? Because after you do it, it's so fun, you want some more. Let's go. We disembark. You begin to make your way down the path. It's a stone-lined path that leads a deeper into downfall on this side. And you eventually come to a crossroads, a place that leads you forward,

and then to your left, what you find is a garden of large gigantic toadstools. They tower well over all of you. And from deep within this toadstool patch, you hear the haunting melody of someone playing pipes. And it is alluring and intriguing. And just as you begin to listen in closer, from the right side, from the right path, you hear the rustling of leaves and the giggling of feminine voices. Oh, that's a little sound. The apes are the sound of giggling.

Oh, wait, oh my God, it's giggling, too. Wait, hold on. It seems like some kind of fake trick. What possible way that that's true? Torrack is interested. I mean, those pipes are awfully elected. but I don't like the sound of giggling fade creatures.

It sounds delightful. Yeah, it's just laughing women. I like the sound of laughing women? What could possible? No, I mean, it's a beautiful sound, crummy. You got a... I'm a little bit on this one.

Oh, you sound like you guys are... It sounds like to be true. You guys are a bunch of wet of blankets. Probably laughing frog people, all right? Does that put a wet blanket on it? Yeah, that's kind of fine. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Torbeck's still in. I need you. Tell you what. Can one of you, like, hold a rope and go and yell back if it's safe, and then Crummy and I will join you. And if not, then you can tug on the rope and we'll pull you back because it's a nightmare. Why don't we just send Torbeck? We'll get to send Torbeck.

Torbeck had a gold piece for every time Mr. Crummy tied a rope around and made him do something. Mr. Crumby wouldn't know Torbeck back wages. Hold still. Sorry, Mr. Gravy. Hold still. I will fashion this rope, connected to your backpack, for lack of a better term.

Torbeck just has a filthy sack. Well, you have also these tubes that are connected to your body. I assume they won't come free if we have to yank you back. Oh, but they hurt if you pull on them. Well, where else would you like me to just ride your waist? Around Torbeck's waist. Like the old days.

Yeah. And the best part about that, if he tries to run off, he can't augment his body at will on account of his horrible powers. So he'll be fine. He'll never get out of it. I'm going to go between the groin a couple more times. Oh, watch out for the filthy sack. I don't want it falling off a few weeks.

Damn the other filthy sack. Yes, I'm watching out for the sack. All right. And that should be nice in time. Oh, okay. He's got a number of many feet I have broke to get in there and find out if there's danger and to signal us with one tug, we should join you, and with multiple frantic tugs, I'll assume that you're dying and we need to pull you back.

Okay. If the tugs get confusing, can we base it off of Torbeck's horrific screens? We may not be able to hear you, Torbeck. You're just going to have to do your best. Oh, Torb. We're starting to regret this. Remember, just tug once if it's fine and safe. And if you get confused, we'll pull you back.

Well, it's going to be you tug two times. So, you know, a tugging maybe like, give him his steps. And then, oh, he tug. It's like he's pulled into danger once. I agree. I hear you. That's actually very logical. Two tugs for join me.

Two tugs for join. One tug, nothing. Three tugs or more emergency. Why do you need a tug for nothing? How much as he doesn't tell him? No, the one tug is just in case it's an accident. To Grico's point. One tug doesn't mean anything.

Or maybe one tug, oh, things are okay. Things are far in for now. But don't come just yet. How are that? One tug for things are okay, just for us yet. Two tugs, yes, come on. Three tugs are saying, maybe. That might not make it's a three tugs.

Three tugs. Three tugs. Three tugs. No, I thought it was many, many tugs rapid flinging. Three plus tugs. That's very confusing. We're going to talk two violent tugs that feel frantic, but then he's just out.

Violent tugs? Torbant doesn't want violent tugs. First guy has ever said that. The nature of the tug isn't working. You're writing a third dimension. No, we need to have a matrix here. I started, I grab a stick. I start to clawing of the dirt.

Okay, so we have soft and we need to have a hot tubs. And then we have one, two, three, and then many. So we're going to fill in with each one of those feet. As this is happening. You hear a voice drift on the wind. Come join us. We're playing in the water. I'm made of fire.

I don't really like the water. Do they sound like fog people? No. Oh. Why not? They sound kind of hot. You're the only person that fears it. It sounds like it's coming the way that the giggling was coming.

over the matrix. If they're arguing over the matrix, you hear this, drift on the wind. Oh, man. But how do we define the hardness of a tongue? Torback heard it as soon as Torbake said. Oh, no. Well done.

I think we should just, uh, we should just head on over there. I think it's gonna be. So we should do if we should use a practice round of the tug to make sure that you have all of this strike. Do you have always committed to memory? I'll start slowly walking in. Okay, good. I started walking towards the voices, the hot voices.

We let Gideon, we let Gideon. I'm gonna address out, I'm just looking for street signs. Yeah, all right. I'm a lost. You begin to make your way into this glade and you see that it is a beautiful circular glade that is right on the water. At the very edge of it, you see a large gnarled tree. Several holes dot the trunk of the gnarled old tree

that grows on the shore of the lake. The tree has lost all of its bark and a few withered leaves cling to the end of its twisted, knotted branches. one end of a clothesline is tied to a high branch on the northwest side of the tree. Several old garments hang from the clothesline, the other end of which disappears in the fog hovering over the lake. That is not what catches your attention. It is the two beautiful Seder women that are mostly naked up against the bark of the tree.

They're covered in all the right places with beautiful leaf bikinis as they, as they, as they, squeeze these strange fruits for oil and begin rubbing it into their skin. You hear them laughing, giggling, really, as they do. No, say losing. Where's giddy? Anyway, I'm sorry. You look over at them as they are rubbing the oil on each other, and they look towards you, and they start beckoning you.

I can't help but notice you ladies are wearing quite a bit of clothing. You might need to just take, we're going to rub all this oil in together. It's just two maple leaves. Yeah, if we're going to rub all this oil in together, I mean, I think we've got to get started. And so you're walking over to them? My hands are in the oil. You are rubbing the oil all over yourselves, and they are, they're looking up at you happily. happily as they arched their backs and point to where they want you to begin rubbing the oil in.

Oh, don't mind if I do. Right here? Oh, yeah. And as you go to touch them, you realize that there is nothing there to touch. As the illusion of these beautiful saters dissipates and above your head from one of the holes in the tree you hear, I need your role for initiative. Oh, my feet wild. I think I do you don't have any fucking weapons.

You'd be like, I can't get my sword. Well, it doesn't know that I made a fucking fire. I'm gonna put it out of your hands. The foolish and mortal flesh are you driven by lost. I'm not there to be a feast a day in my life. I'm simply horny, okay? You will be our first. Get in.

Are we rolling two? Are we out of initiative? You're not an initiative right now. It's three-something. You're all in the dirt. You look up as you hear these words, and you see poking out of one of the holes in this tree what is very clearly a pixie of some kind. But these pixies don't look like the pixies that you're married to.

Their skin is a very pale shade of gray. Their eyes have no pupils. They're just pure white. Their hair is spiky and dark. Their fingers are long and spindly, far longer and spindlier than you would expect. They almost look like gnarled branches of twigs, and they all come to a sharp point. as they smile down at you, they bear their fangs which are sharp and serrated.

And I would say you've been in the Faye Wild long enough now to realize that this is something that Twig has mentioned before, an unseely Faye. A Faye that is, that leans more towards negative emotions, anger, hatred, jealousy, wrath. And you see that,

that you see that this one is staring down at you with a wicked smile, very pleased with herself that she has caught you in her web. And as she says this, she is going to reach her finger out, and she is going to attempt to attack you. She cast a coward kill. She rolled first in initiative. Oh, my God, you've been 22? She did, easily too.

Easily. Oh, my God. Actually, terrible. Does a 23 hit. I can hit. I can't. It hits, it hits. Yeah.

Rich. Get my weapon and fix it. We never discussed. She does six points of lightning damage as she reaches down and she shoots a bolt of lightning out of her finger and it slams into you. Your body begins to shape with the lightning as it hits you. And she shoots you.

And she laughs into her hands. You aren't sexy satyrs. You aren't sexy saters at all! I've only had to have a fight one other time with a full-blown erection, and nobody enjoyed it. You're not going to like this either. It's risingly difficult to fight with the blower. All the blood's in my dick.

It's weird for everybody, okay? Do you have a cuff and chain that they're... Excuse me. I shout loudly throughout the entire swamp that I've never had to have a fight. I've only had to fight with a eruption. I would like you all to roll for perception checks. As you were arguing about tugging on the Oh god, nope, nope, I fail.

No way. I'll use a twist. I like a five. We got 96 twists. We don't want to risk the curses. I don't want to, yeah. Uh-oh. I know that's no one thing.

I don't want to get blasted on my, on my, you know. No, it's funnier if you get blasphemy. Yeah, I'm still arguing with Grico, and he's like trying to, like, show me the major. I would be totally out of it. Two medium tugs means danger. 19. Doesn't make perfect sense. 13.

Okay. Grimy? Sorry, he was helping me out with my sheet. 11. Okay. One, you got a five? Yeah. All of you but Torbeck are able to hear as Gideon calls out about his erection.

Uh-oh. Must be a fight. And at first, you know, right. Yeah, that's what happens. You guys know how fun turns around. And it is very clear that he has found himself in a position where he is. There's no time to undo the one.

It's definitely the right. Okay. Mike. Because it's decks, right? That's fine. That's fine. I just wanted to check. There's no time to undo this rope.

But you can. Yeah. No, I got you. Torbeck, there's no time to undo this rope. You're just going to have to hold it. Okay. And Torbeck takes the rope and he's just like, Getting in his direction! We have to stomp him!

Yes, let me stop him! Oh, you know, God, you don't want to know! It is your turn? All right, uh, it's only one on Celi Faye? There you can see. Damn, it's a park or shit. I roll over attack. Um, actually, I activate my foing, foam, and I roll it attack.

Do you know, you're You're punching? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's up in a tree? So the tree itself is gnarled and old. It looks like it is dead, if not, at least dying. And there are whole pockets and holes in the tree. the trunk of the tree and she is perched inside one of those holes and you take your fist in

and you imagine that you land it as you see that she shimmers, giggles and you realize you see four different versions of her for a split second and you have clearly punched one of her mirror images. As she begins to laugh but that's not all you hear as the sound of the tree begins to the creek of the wood against your fist, you realize that the way that it's reverberating and shaking is unlike what it would do if it was just punched, as all of a sudden you see the branches begin to move

and the tree begins to shift. And where there had been gnarled knots, you see a face appear, wakes me. I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna hate this place. Does the tree look water along because we're going to swamp and everything?

The tree looks old and dry. Okay. Can we get some... Yeah, some battle music? Yeah. It's a tree. It starts to sing toxic. I don't know why this isn't playing.

I really think it should. It's a great one. That's mine. That one where... I'm trying to find a good song that would work for this. I can just do it. I just don't know. No, it just doesn't sound like it's plain.

It's like it's plain. That's what? Because I have the volume all the way up. No, what is it? Flashman. Is it? It's not flashman. And with that, the tree, the tree actually,

gets higher than the Pixies with a natural 20 for his initiative. And he is, I actually know that wouldn't be true. He got a 22. You got a 23. We're going to tie you to 22. Okay. So you guys are tied. I'll let you have it.

Nice. And so the, you hear laughing, giggling as where you had seen just the one pixie, you now realize there are actually four pixies in these different pockets. pockets and all of them are looking towards you. However, it is at this time that your friends arrive. I would like you all to roll for initiative. Woo! Oh, Christ! Dormack got a seven! Oh, no!

Gringo lost a dice! This one's Torbay. Oh, there it is! I found it. I got it. I got it. I got a monkey time. Tormec's name isn't even on the mark. How very Torback I mean. I mean, I got a five. What was my initiative? I think it's probably this.

Roll it again. If you're not sure, roll it again. What did you get crummy? Oh, I don't think you. Neither way, it sucks. I think seven fix. Six. Wow.

Wow. Yeah, six. Dormangus are worse. I'm so sorry, kidding. I might kill you. All four of the Pixies, since you are in front of them, you're the only person that has attempted to harm them, are all going to roll against you. Go on, girls. Punch them with you loose hands.

17. Oh, jeez. So, that's 19. 14. 14 would miss. 19 would hit. 17. 17.

So, three of them are going to, you're going to watch as they point at you with their, with their, spindly fingers and shoot lightning bolts at you. Oh, geez. Oh, shocking grass. Perhaps. 18 points of damage from all of them collectively. As you grab you by the nips.

Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle, and popp you watch as Gideon is his body shakes and and shimmers with this electricity. And that is their turn. They look down at you and laugh. You silly stupid things. Oh, you guys really suck and you hurt my feelings. You thought he weren't gonna suck.

Well, I don't know, it's gonna be the other way around, but... Torbett chuckles from the bushes. We might have gotten there, but, you know, I think it was gonna start to a different position. But anyway, I can't paint a picture for you. We're battle. Guy! Back to me? Yeah.

I mean, you can just keep riffing with them if you want. Oh. You can pass your turn and just find them. 19? Oh. So there are four of them on the film of four now? Okay. And one, um, one big barkless.

Punch one of the pixies in the stomach. That's my plan. Yeah, I'm gonna punch one of the pixies directly in their stomach. Right in the stomach. 19 to hit. Right. Oh, that definitely hits. All right.

You hear the home run, home run bat noise from us. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a next. Uh, I use a bonus action and punched the same pixie a second time. Is this the same pixie that you punched the last time? Same pixie I just punched, yeah.

Just hit her a second time. 20, 20 to hit the second pixie. And... Is that a different pixie? No, no, no, no, no, same pixie. And that's seven points of the damage total. Once again, you punch and punch and two more of her mirror images disappear. Oh, wow.

It is the trance turn. It is going to look down at you, and it is going to take one branch, and it is going to slam into... It is the Hellboy trailer. What is that? No, it's not. It's a song called Carpe Diem. And that is going to hit. It was a natural 18.

The second one, I don't believe, is going... Ooh, actually, 16? The 16 hits. 16 misses. Okay. So the 16 misses, but you are hit by the branch attack. Oh! That scared me.

What about her fingers? He's a radial assle what the boy can play. 13 points of bludgeoning damage as you are hit by one of these branches. He's going to use his bonus action and he is going to reach down and attempt to bite a chunk out of you. Wyatt, with a natural 20.

Oh, I react. As the heat gauge on my will kick up two notches into second gear. My chains will word of life. Red flaming heat will reach out as he attempts to bite me. It will, I don't know how fucking big this tree is, like if he's got lips or something, but it will wrap around. You see as it opens its long mouth and it has sharp serrated,

which looks like wooden teeth. The chains will redirect his attack to one of the Pixies. Okay. Thomas have never seen such bullshit before. Pick one. One of the ones I have not hit yet. Maybe if I was hitting Pixie 1, I'll hit Pixie 2.

And it keeps the same attack. Great. It does that and you watch as he reaches as he swings over and bites down one of the Pixies as she's hanging out of one of the hollows in the tree, but just like the others, it crushes one of her mirror images. Oh my gosh. We have so much to get through.

This is gonna be tough. Mirror image is no joke. You would know. I do. You would know. Can we say it's prismar mirror image? Whoa! Cremie, it is your turn.

Do I have like a full understanding that this is like... I easily, yes. Oh, fuck, dude! You see giddy. Parts of him, parts of his garb is on fire from these small electrical fires that have been created. And he is significantly wounded as this gigantic tree looms over him. And you see these four horrific-looking pixies leaning out of the knots in the tree and just shooting bolt of lightning after bolt of lightning from their face.

Still fully erect. Still fully erect. Now it's a fearburger. His penis is working like it. lightning rod as it collects one. And you just get back into the bushes. He always seems to be doing that. I'll pick up my cane and I'll shoot two of these glass at the tree.

Okay. Not two, one. That's pretty good. 20 to hit. That hits. Who knows when I'm gonna get a rare, so I'm not using no resources. No, by my calculations, by this time tomorrow, in this reality, it'll be October.

over and iron. 13 points of damage. You, um, right, I can't do math. Unmarked black tombstone goes next. There it is. Oh, I was sorry. You do a good amount of damage as the tree lets out this creaking groan as it turns. as it turns its attention to you,

it opens its mouth and howls out into the air. And you see that you have directed its ire towards you as a small black tombstone. Torbeck will come stumbling through the bushes, rope still in hand and around his waist. And I am roughly within 30 feet. Torbeck will yell, Don't worry, Gideon.

Torbeck will try to help, and Torbeck will attempt to close distance and attack one of the the fairies. Pixies. What are they? Yeah. Pixies. You make it 15 feet, and then you realize that the rope is a tugging. Just tell me one, two, three, or four. I know we should be able to make it, right? Yeah. Yeah, to make it to- Number four, is who I'm attacked. We have reached, right? I do, yes, so 10 feet away. Oh, wow. Oh, that's going to be a 22 to hit. That hits. Uh, you watch as Torbeck kind of ungracefully runs towards these creatures

and rears back with a suit perfectly normal bug bear claw and makes it on-arm attack and feels three damage. And it does. And you see as you slice through and all of your nails spread where there had been mirror images, you were able to slice through all of them as you rend the peck pixie into pieces. It's very clearly just a big bug bear paw.

It's not what, it looks just like a normal bug bear paw. and I swat away one of the mirror images. I know you completely annihilate the pixie. Oh, all right. There's like pixie blood. It's just all over your hand. It looks like you smashed a mosquito with your... Torbeck turns and looks,

Torbeck helps! And that's Torbeck's turn. Grico. So because they are all... They're not all sharing the same space, right? No, they're in four different... They're in four different holes on the tree. Well, it means that as far as,

as mechanical speaking, because they're tiny creatures, they're all, like, mechanically speaking, they're all, this is the tree, and they're all in the tree. They're all in the tree in different holes, yes. Okay, got it. So I am going to say, Oh, Gennon, which is you got to save Uncle Gideon,

and I'll play my, on my ocarina, a little tune, as a froggyness here will emerge behind me and lash out at one of the, as I'm going to use a bonus action to strike it and I'm going to I think it's spell attack. That's it is a it is a word spell attack. Oh my god I thought I was ready for this. Where the hell is my D20?

That will hold on this one. That is going to terribly mess. I am going to actually go to actions here. There we go there we go there we go. It is a 13 hit. 13 does hit. Yeah, 13 does hit. Okay, I'm going to roll damage. 1D8 radiant damage.

So that's 3 plus 5 is 8 points of radiant damage. And then I'll play. To which one? To whichever one is looking. the nastiest. Okay. I will give you, I will give you the one

that hasn't been hurt yet. She looks like a nasty bitch. What a nasty bitch. Number three. And would this kind of spell be, is it like an area of, it's not a area of effect? It's not technically a spell.

It's just basically my druid, my druid starry form attack. I'm choosing the form of the archer. So the mirror image would still. Yes, it would get, it would get, it would get it. attack, so yes. Okay, so you would blast away one of its mirrors. Okay,

and then I'm going to go do-do-do-do. You'll hear some mantra-sounding hoots. Like a four-winged owl will appear and just blast a moonbeam down on top of this tree. They will all need to make a dexterity saving throw.

I need to make, hold on, a saving throw of some kind. Constitution, actually. So the tree gets a natural 20. Okay. Oh. Got it out. Number one fails.

Number two gets a 19, natural 19, and number three gets a natural one. Okay. So the DC- So one and three, I'm assuming, fail. Yeah, DC's 15. Okay. Yeah. And so I think, so those two succeed, take half of six points.

So one and one and three are completely annihilated as this move beam just, eviscerated. Six percent damage. Two is also... And then the ones who succeed take three damage. The ones who fail takes six. I don't want to risk that song. Also radiant damage.

A lot of radiant damage. I think it was remotely. Yeah, I know. That's why I stopped it. And actually, two is also completely annihilated by the shimmering light of the moonbeam as they are minions, so they only have one hit point. And so in chat called you Dr. Pixie Popper.

Deploy them. And then how much was the damage? So three if they succeeded, six if they failed. Okay, and so the tree takes three damage. He lets out a loud yell as he sees the pixies are all limp hanging out of the knots on his form. He seemed to be very fond of them as he lets out a horrifying scream and his rage increases. You see his eyes illuminate with a reddish hatred as he looks towards you, Grick. Go Frost, it's your turn.

Look out, Gideon. Oh, does Hootzee get to go on my turn? Oh, I didn't want to know she for Hootsie. Or she's on my turn. She goes on your turn. Oh. All the Pixies are gone. I don't think I want to have her attack the tree.

All the pixies are gone. Okay. I'll say, go support Uncle Gideon. And she's gonna stand here and take the help action on Gideon. And yeah, and that's it. Seeing all this and seeing us so violently and immediately kill all these pics,

Does the Frost have any sense that the TRIA would listen or back down? I would say you are violently killing these pixies, but looking over at Gideon, he has been tricked and then immediately attacked. He is singed and seared from blast after blast of lightning bolts. Rips my shirt off. It's just all flaming hot fire genasi skin and suspenders. Your shirt went into a loop barrel. There's a cum there.

I ain't coming back. It's a come back. But it's now for a couple of batch. He's a jar. Oh, not on the fourth, on the fourth zap, we had to upgrade to a barrel.

I remember from the original game, Boom. And yet through all of it, he's still hard. To hit. Yeah, when it is he showed up, I was both down. I was in the refractory. period.

That's what the third Seder woman is. I'll go out. No, no, no. I will communicate telepathically. I'll communicate telepathically. As I'm doing this, I'll reach into my pocket and I'll pull three of my beans out of my bag. And I'll hold them and I'll say, tree, hear me. I'm not sure how this battle came to be, but I have these very powerful blasting beans.

If you continue to attack my friends, I will be forced to use them on you. But back down. Show that you are willing to talk, and we can end this violence. Roll a persuasion check. Are you sure that intimidation because he's threatening him in the violence? I actually get intimidation. Be careful or I'll hurt you. No, you won't.

We hear those all in your mind. I'm readying my action if he looks like he's gonna strike it in my friends. I'll throw the three beans. And intimidation, you say? Yeah. Just straight? Oh, my God. Eleven.

Okay, he lets out another howl out into the night, and he looks towards Grico with a pure malice. Back down. We can resolve this peacefully. Gideon, it's your turn. Ross just hit him, man. They're trying to blast my dad. alcohol.

Oh, hey, everybody. This isn't what it looks like, all right? Covered in oil, shirtless. Glitter. Anybody. What does it look like to you? Dead pixies everywhere. Yeah, dead pixies everywhere.

If you show up six seconds ago, fully erect now in the refractory period. They got around six seconds. Fire Gideon's pantswashed. We ought to have to have. We ought to have swam back. Oh, thank goodness. It's time to heat things up.

Tree, you're going down. And all class... It just does that for every song, I don't know. All clasped my manacles together, and they will... They will condense flame towards them and blast out a cone of fire as I cast a burning hands.

Okay. It has to make a dexterity saving fire. throw and it shoots out in a 15 foot cone in front of me. Oh, it fails. I love putting hands. It's actually twigs turn, so I'll have you go and then I'll have twigs. It takes 11 points of fire damage. And if it is flammable, it is now on fire.

It is flammable. And you notice that the fire damage seems to do significantly more than you expect as the bits of its limbs begin to pop and crackle as this thing ignites into flame. Nice. Back up, Gideon. Twig is going to go. Run away. I'm going to do a thing.

She is, she rushes towards your side. What? I don't call right now. Here it is, Tweedoo. And she's going to miss her first hit. And also her third, and she tries not to look. No, no, no, we distract her. What's happening?

You don't be distracting. by what you think is going on. This is just, this is one of Grigo's bananas. It's just a wallace. It's a face, but she's going to miss. Yeah, those Saders would have been saying insane if they weren't

horrible recreations and tricked me in this combat. It is the tree's turn. It is going to look down at you who's just ignited it, and it is going to make a branch attack. And it is definitely going to hit with a 26.

All right? Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. That's wrong. That's wrong. They shot me my dick with lightning. That's five times. That's got to be wrong.

Hold on. I rolled a. Okay. So. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. That's wrong.

Like a fucking. Right. Like a fucking try. 16 points of a. damage. What does the help action do? Does that help? No, it means you should have had damage on his attack.

You then watch as one of his branches begins to reach up and begin to grasp around you as he's going to make his second attack on you, which is going to be a 25. You are grappled and you are going to take nine points of bludgeoning damage at the start of your turn. So it doesn't happen now. Okay. But you will make it at the start of your turn. As the first blow land on.

He's then going to make his bonus action, and he is going to bite you. Time to roll up that road. But that's going to fail. Okay. As the first blow lands on me, I take the hit clean across my chest, and I just say, oh, hope this wasn't the beaten I was looking for. As they collapsed onto the ground incapacitated. Oh, no, in his arms, because he's grappling now.

No, the first hit would have incapacitated me. Right. So the second hit. The second one hasn't done damage done damage yet, but you are held in his... He attempted. He would auto-crit you for two deaf men. That's wrong thing.

Oh, wait, so, yeah, the bites would have auto hit. Yeah. It's the Jack, that Titan. Yeah, you have two failed death saves as you collapsed in his grasp and he bites into you. Well, sweet. You guys didn't like Gideon as a career. Oh my God.

No, that's it. That I'm a good one. That's the next one. Not my ready action, can I? No, you cannot. This kills Gideon. Yeah, no, you're right. It does.

What? I throw my three beams. And... No, you can... You can pull off on this unreadyed action. Can you? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess...

You should be able to change. Because you have to use your reaction in order to do it. It's like I'm going to use your reaction to do my ready to action. Readying the action consumes the reaction. No, it uses your... No, no, no, no, no. You... It uses your action.

And then when it comes time to... for the trick, you use your reaction, you can show. Whether you do or not. I believe that isn't correct. I believe that it takes your reaction. No, look it up. It's her call.

You're not in the DM. You're not in the DM. You can take it off. That's right. It is updating. I don't put your phones down. Note that as soon as the trigger occurs, the player has the choice whether they actually want to follow through or cancel.

I've read that fucking book three times. We're talking about reactions whether they're used at the moment that you read the action? It doesn't use your reaction. Because you are, you are, you are, you are holding your action and choosing to do your action at a different point. Do I have to rule Schmitt? Do you have to rule Schmid?

No. Well, that's irrelevant if you choose a... Hello, hello, hello, hello. We're arguing about rules. We're ruining our friendships. We're ruining our friendship. You can choose to cancel. What matters is that I can choose to cancel.

You can choose to cancel. And seeing the damage and the life going out, you choose to throw the beans any. I choose to throw the beans any. I choose to throw the beans any. I, obviously, I hold and in the mind of the triad, you hear my voice. But that does mean that you lose your turn.

I lose my ready to action. You can choose not to cancel your ready to action, but then you don't get an action until your next turn. I know everything refreshes on my next turn. That's fine. I am very happy not to kill Gideon in this moment. I know. I think that's great.

I've been afraid of him. However, my reaction was taken when I took the ready action. It was not. Because then it would never work. That action would literally be worth of it. and it wouldn't work. Anyway, it's grimace. Can we play the end of it?

It is Gramey's turn. Stay tuned for a baby. I don't do that, I do. You don't do this. I see Gideon lying lifeless. I'm up in the air suspended by the printout. You're held aloft by this triant. Ah, shit.

Did I take a chunk out of his arm? I don't know. Sundarst stole my mouth. So this is a face. If you wasn't grapple. Yeah. But now Torric has no hope. It is a tree blight.

How would we do? I know those. Did it? Oh, no. Where is its turn? It's fine. Its turn was after yours. Yeah.

So it just went. That's why you are now unconscious. Let's try to say, theoretically, it's on fire and everything takes fire damage. Yeah. You're basically immune. I take half damage from fire.

Yes. So you did that to it. It should take some fire damage on its turn. Right. But that would have happened. before it attacked you. So I will not include that in, why do you want to die?

I don't. I understand. I'm just saying like that. You're fine. How much fire damage would it have taken on its turn? I don't know. I actually don't know how burning works. This is ignited.

Roll a D6 and it will, it will take one D6 on each of its turns. I don't make sense to me. Three. Angel, I have a question. Yes, Angelo. Is this, is this Winter Splinter's cousin's summer mummer? Well, that's where we're going to end the session tonight. Summer, Mama.

Tell me, what you're doing? Oh, God. I don't know what I can do. How long do bananas last? Would I still have something last night? That's 24 hours. Oh. I believe you gave me some. I gave you 20.

And I never used them in the fucking pie, right? Don't, don't they go away at the, every day? I don't think you can stock up on good berries. Do they have a duration? It's very important. I believe they last 24 hours. They last 24 hours, but when you cast them, they use your reaction. Please check, because this really matters.

It lasts for 24 hours. The last for 24 hours. Yeah. Oh, my God. Long rest, they disappear. What? No. I mean, I trust what you're reading.

They don't. They lose your potency if it's not been seen within 24 hours of casting this bell. There you go. Oh, okay. Which really, if you're a druid and you have. some leftover spell slots at the end. Yeah, you should be. You should be, yeah, yeah, yeah.

From the mouths of babes. From the mouth of bananas. Also, for Rico. I forgot that I gave you fucking all those fucking bananas for the banana bread you never made. What I will say is Gideon has held aloft in the arms of this thing. This is a giant trade.

So you would have to find. How high up is he? I would say he's probably, how tall is a large oak? Fucking tall. I mean, he's probably. Probably 30, 40 feet. Probably 10. Yeah, I was going to see like 20 meters.

I'll throw it right up there. I was thinking I was 20 feet, but he reached down, grabbed you, and pulled you up. That makes sense. Don't regret me. Um, hmm, hmm, mm, hmm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, and it's an enemy that's next, or is a Torbeck that's next. It's Torbik is the black dance. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,

Tobeck, I can't do anything. But please, I need you to take this. And I give you one banana. I have my three-opt-interaction if I can. Yeah, of course. Fly! I'm going to reach it on as much as easy way to Pixie Dust and sprinkle pixie dust on Torbick,

getting him a flying speed. Oh! Is that what I'm coming? In mid-air. Perfect, love it. Do what I can. Love that. Perfect, that's a great action.

Torbeck, it is your turn. You are now floating through the air. This is a strange experience for you. You have never flown. before and you are trying to figure out how to manipulate the air around you to propel yourself upward. And you do find that it begins to come naturally as I believe it is 30 feet for Pixie Dust. 30 feet of flying and you can hover for a minute. And there you go. You are well within range to get to Gideon and administer the banana. It's appropriate. Hold on Gideon Dormac is coming. And I will swim fly as fast as my furry arms and

legs will take me and as soon as I get within 10 feet, because I don't have to get that close, I wave the banana down to slurred. Very reminiscent of what I did to Garica by sticking my fingers like all the way down as my herrily long furry fingers, like push the banana down his throat. Roll, roll for health.

You have one hit point and you are no longer dying. Oh, at the start of it's turned also it's still in the moonlight. Okay, what? But that would have happened at the start of his turn, and he didn't incapacitate Gideon until after that would have happened. So the tree still takes him. Yeah, I do just need to have a damage.

And so... Wait, would I have been hit by Moonbeam? No. You're out. You're totally out of it. He's reaching out. He passes. He got a natural 19.

So he passes his dexterity. He'll only take two points of Canadian damage. Nobody does survive, didn't. Nope, just hold on. He does take two points of damage. One point. Sorry. It's bad.

takes one point, one point of damage. But this would have happened before you were incapacitated, before he even grabbed you, so it would not have affected you at all. How long does the flight last, like an hour? A minute. A minute. So basically for the rest of this combat. Not more than enough time.

Yeah. And if it's not, it's a minute now. Grico, it's your turn. Oh, so I will use my bonus action and say, put my friend down! And the big, froggy mith tongue will lash. out, I'm going to make a range spell attack. That is going to fail

catastrophically, unless a nine hits, which I don't think. A nine does not hit. His AC is 15. I will then I'll scan for it. Oh, man. I can't, I need to get up and touch him.

Would I be No, I would have to use it. Well, I'm up in the air, so I'm not on the field of play in front of you. No, I know. I just need to figure out a way to get there. Any bonus action? I already, well, I mean, I can't, I need to heal him. I don't know.

This is Carpe DM by Adrian von Ziegler. Oh, I guess Adrian's just... Is there a way? Why it doesn't know? You know for you to say no to this. Would I be able to try to jump on Hootsie? Mario Vichet. Jump on Hootzie, grab onto Torpon.

and scamper up him to try to touch Giam. I would say you could use, you could do an acrobatics check at disadvantage because you're in the heat of battle, but if you do well, you could use your movement to scale the tree. In the trope's got a rope tied to his filthy sack. It's probably waste, but yes.

Oh, that's true. Yeah. The rope would actually still be on the ground. I mean, I don't know, yeah. It's 50 feet. Then, yes, it's on the ground. You could try to... I will say,

I still want you to make the acrobatics, because you're climbing a rope, but I'm not going to have you make it a disadvantage. Okay, I'll make another roll. Wow. Wow. I'm using... I'm using...

She's going to get you. Natural 20. It's that level where you're being chased by the ooze and dungy on country, too. Oh, yeah. I'm so... I'm climbing. up Torbeck's rope.

I'm coming up, you're gonna feel, you're gonna feel many frantic tongues, Torbeck! And I'm going to reach up and say, and I'm going to cast healing touch at a second level. Or cure wounds, not really touch. That is, that's a driven spell. A fucking rope. Oh my God, perfect.

That's seven, so that is 11 plus 7, plus seven, 18 points of helium. Oh, ho! Back in the game. Back in the game. Direction returns. I'm out of the refractory period, boys. Bum, bum, bum, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b.

And with that, it is Frost's turn. I got nothing. I don't know what to do. I'm not climbing ropes and being all cool. How is this tree looking? He is looking fine. Yeah. Oh, that's that.

I think Gideon is really the only one who's hit him. He's taken, he took a 13 hit, a 3 hit. No, hold on. He's taking a 13 hit, a 3 hit, a 22 hit, and a 1. Yeah, 3 and 1 is all. I do a 13. I did 4. You did the 22 because you do double damage because of the fire. And I see all this unfurling in front of me.

Oh, can Hootsie slash it is what we think about what you're in? Yeah, Slashin'clock. She has a tree. Go do it, Hootsie! You now have peck! tactics, thank you, updated rules. How many people are within 10 feet right now? I'm being held by, I mean, Torbecko, Go, Hootsie.

The only person not would be coming. Torbett would be flying near him. Like right in front of one. But in the air, if you could throw it at his base of them, maybe his arms are high enough. If the 10 feet radius explosion. We're 20 feet in the air? Yeah.

We're 20 feet in the air? I would say, yes, you could, if you were, if you were trying to avoid Gideon, Grico, and Torbeck, you could do that, but you would hit Hootsey. Oh my God, Hootsey just fucking wrecked this kid. She did, hold on. He did seven plus eight, 15, plus, um, plus four. 12? So 15 plus four is 19. 19 points slashing damage. As Hootie goes up and she stands up awkwardly on her hind legs.

Here's a voice in her mind. Outsi, brace yourself. I'm sorry, there's only one way to save our friends. You're going to have to take a little burn. And I will toss the three beans that I'm holding at the foot of this triant. You do that. It needs to make a dexterity saving throw. It can either make them all at once or it can make three of them.

What's the DC? The DC is 15. It misses. It fails. It fails all of them. Yes. It is a stationary trait. Its ability to be dexterous is difficult.

Three. I need D4s. Can I get the D4s? Oh, yeah. I got a lot of them. A lot of them. A lot of them. But so many.

Tell me going to stop. Tell me going to stop. One. That's two. I need three more D-4s. Three more D4s. Oh my God, oh my God. Any more three?

Any more D4? Not that I have. I'm out. I'm out if you can be dry. You can run some D's. I don't even know if that's my die. I don't think that is. Oh, I'm spent.

That's three. That's three. That's three. No, no, no. Give one of them. All right, take down. One, two, three. Okay.

Everyone's attention to how many. Yeah, I'm going to. roll 15 D4 dice. Whoa! Decent money. Yes, go back to four. Six.

Yes. Nine. Thirteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Twenty. Twenty-four. Twenty-five.

Twenty-eight. Thirty-one. Thirty-four. Thirty-seven. Forty-one points of fire damage. For how many deep force? And this is fire damage you said? Uh-huh.

What's the radius? And is there a roll? It's a 10th radius. I already rolled. Yeah, he failed. But you rolled her. Oh. Oh, yeah.

It's a, their dexterity saving throws. It's just Tootsy. But it is dexterity saving throw. It's a real well there, Derek. It smokes. Oh, thank God she passes. So she takes half. So she'll take 21.

Yeah, she'll take 20. She's still up. She's still up. She's still up. That goes old and she just goes. The blast goes off and Hootsie is in the very middle of it. And she yelps out as she takes a significant amount of damage. She rears back her feathers on fire as Grico looks down at horror,

or in horror as to what is happening to Hootsie. But it is those, it is you, Gideon, who is in the grasp of this tree. that feels the blast of this the most as an eruption of flame spews up from the base of this tree as you hear a loud, guttural groan, and then a silence that is almost unnerving as you hear pops and cracks inside of this tree as it splits into the grasp that this tree blight had on you

is loosened as you fall to the ground, taking six points of fall damage and you hit the earth with actually a soft bounce. It was significantly less damage than you would expect given how soft the ground itself is as you watch the tree completely split into and begin to begin to burn as the magical beans that frost through at it ignite the entire core of this entity and you watch it begins to, as the embers glow and sizzle

and pop. You have smoteed this tree. One fell swoop. No, it's dodging, not smooth. It's just like Popatachu. Roll that, Nudsi. Or slide down the rope. Oh, man.

Apology. Are you okay? Nanyas. A loud sound rents the air. At first, it's hard to tell exactly what it is. and then the sound of flapping wings.

As all of your attention looks towards the sky and you see directly in the very center of the split tree, a barnow, its wings flapping this way and that. Its head spins almost 360 as it turns to look at all of you. And then you begin to see its shape, move, and shift. And that is where we'll have to say. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

Holy shit. Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm excited. I don't want to make it. It's second.

I'm excited. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Adventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier higher to unlock Shroud over Salt Marsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com,

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