Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 35 | Beware the Forest Mushrooms

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

The Krew takes a long, long rest in the Mushroom Forest...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/gOn39lO0u2Y?si=WO7KlQY9wK83Sz4s

Hey everybody, Chuckles here. Welcome to Legends of Aventrith. You're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. As the party looks up, they see a white barn out. You now find yourself in a star-filled night. You watch as this entity elongates into a man about six feet tall. Welcome to Prismair. I am the king of hearts. What kind of fever are you looking for? Curse that this witch brought down upon me, the mother of the three hags that have taken up residence in my domain, prevents me from entering my castle. You want to return home to your connovel or crew. Hey, Mr. Guru, I will pay your fee. You will have a one-way ticket home if you meet me at the gates of the Palace of Hearts Desire in 13 days with a trinket from each of the hags.

Pavlona is the hag of the present. From her, I require a trinket possessed by Lorna that represents her present magic, with Scabbasah Nightshade. Scabbatha, the hag of the past. You will deliver me a trinket possessed by Scabatha that represents a past magic. And lastly, Enderlin Moongrave. Deliver me a trinket possessed by Endeline that represents a future magic. Well, a few options. One, as we could ignore that beautifully haunted music from the mushroom forest, or...

We can go check it out. We gotta get a trinket from her. Not many friend of ours if we stand her up for the only meal she's invited us to. It's time to play the music. It's time to love to lots. It's time to meet the mom. It's on the mapego tonight. So I don't have to get a mom at me.

I'm the electric chef. Yeah, it was there three days ago. Oh, shit. Oh, Coral. Damn it, I get pulled up to you. Every time. Every time. No, than two seconds of course.

Start the music. Oh, God. Just beat a screen about it. Beat a screen. Now it's the time that you should have already been doing this. Would you guys like to roll for your dreads while I did? Yeah, I would. Jeffrey Bezos.

Jeffrey Bezos. Andy looks so awkward. I'm going to get on. I'm on face. At this point, what might look like fear or confusion is really just I let it pass the room here because it's all just the mind.

Fear's the mind killer, folks. It really is. All of those emotions of the mind killer. What did you get? It's that little deaf. I got a shit, it's 16. Torback. Oh, I got me.

Okay, cool. Frost? 19. You got a 19. Gideon. 18. Grimmy. Four. Four.

Cool. I will figure those. out in a moment. Last time, and once upon a witch light, you found yourselves in the presence of a king, the king of hearts. The first archfay that you have encountered so far,

though you know they exist in this realm. There was no way to prepare yourself for what the experience of meeting the king of hearts would be like. And he sent you on a mission, giving you a gift a set of ponds with a heart shape on the top that function as communication devices to allow you to be able to reach each other no matter what it is that you're doing. He provided this gift to you as a peace

offering, hoping that you would within a 13-day time limit traverse the entirety of Prismere, obtaining from each one of the hags some token of their power, past, present, and future, and deliver it to him on the 13th day at the gates to the castle of Hart's desire in the very center of Prismere. And then he took his leave. And you were left with many unanswered questions. But Torbeck seemed to be safe. the fear that the King of Hearts wanted something with him, for the most part, quelled. You make your way further into this area of downfall and begin to wander into the mushroom forest,

where you meet a sea alladron. And you learn of one of the many deals that Bavlornow would make, taking away his broken heart and his sadness, the repayment was the heart itself, removing it and replacing it with that of a goat, leaving coral hearts ray with the heart of a goat inside of his chest and no ability to feel emotion. And it is here you stand in this moment. Beneath the towering canopy of mushroom trees, you look down at this alladron as he As he sits on the grass, leaning up against one of the stalks of the mushrooms, still playing on his flute, having finished telling you the story, and also having given you the information that it has been three days since you competed in Electrum Chef. Not just one evening, but three days have passed.

The melancholy music washes around you as the realization of the passing of time fully hits you. Overhead, the moon is hanging high in the sky as your conversation with the King of Hearts, though only lasting 30 minutes to an hour, maybe, the time here has progressed significantly. The stars twinkle overhead. Coral looks between all of you, but does not continue to engage in any more conversation as you just watched you transform from Muppets to Men. as he gives you this interesting information. My favorite novel of Muppets and Men.

That's my new boy, man. The best late plans of Muppets and Men. And it's the number two. Muppets Two Men. Oh, that's pretty good. Boys, two men, Muppets to Men, that's pretty good. That's a Z. And that's where you stand.

What was he last name again? Hearts Ray. I like chocolate. Isn't that little on the nose? They should be calling them hard to go. Oh, anyway, sorry that you're feeling nothing. Would you like to feel something, or are you happy with the present situation? I'm not physically capable of feeling anything.

And it's Ray because of my Manta Ray heritage. Oh. My lineage of Eladron, of the Ray kind. Ah, hmm. I would have just instead named you Raymond. Prior to your curse, were you particularly angry individual? No. Violent outbursts, that sort of thing.

Okay. I still propose that we try to aid you in some way if we get it. If you make your way up to her cottage and you're able to get my heart back, well, I can think of a multitude of ways I could repay you. That sounds better than for free. Torbeck isn't a doctor or anything, but aren't we going to need some kind of chest full of ice or something to transport a whole heart? And we're going to get ice in the swamp. Well, she must be holding in something up there, like a cooler. She even has it anymore.

Yeah, it might just be like, the heart's probably dead, like the flesh is just dead flesh at this point. Maybe like swamp food, you know, like not fish food, but myrrh fish, mer-fish, merman. Probably be like a raisin by now. You may she cut this guy's heart out and just, like, threw it in the swamp to feed the fishes and put a goat's heart in his chest? just for laughs. Well, unless he put, she put his heart back in the goat, we just got to look for a goat.

Oh. And I think that she would have kept it instead of destroying it. That makes more sense. She did have a book of grudges. She, uh, is a collector of things, trophies perhaps all included.

Hey, were you known for any kind of particularly strong emotion at all? No. Oh, great. Okay. I just look for one. what seems like a totally normal goat. Yeah, it's just a pretty average guy.

Just an average goat. It's real helpful, thank you. A mediocre fellow, right? Yeah, when you got to your mid-30s, you start a podcast with your childhood friends. Devastating. It's a

camera. I felt that... Well, will you give us, I don't know, grand reward if we get your heart or something? Yes, he said he had many ways to reward us. It sounded oddly sexual. I didn't intend it that way. It's hard to read your emotion.

I don't know if I would say it was a grand reward or just a reward. A reward. Oh I'm going to be in the area anyway We can just pick up a heart or two You know Yes While we're there

Oh have you seen a seder in a cage Not recently or Ever at all Or ever before Yeah Um Okay Well

What's in this forest That you're in Is there any area of interest We should investigate Not really I mean you're nothing wrong. Right person. We'll take it out for ourselves.

All right. Well, I'll be here. Coral. Find your way back and want to, I don't know, get me my heart or something. Yeah. Get around to it. You'll be fine. I mean, it might be mermaid food at this point. Well, I'll be here.

Just one moment. Before we go. You can find me by following the sound of my flage. You don't take my breaks? Yeah, I sleep. When I'm awake, I play this song. It's the closest thing to an emotion I can get to. And you just don't move. You sit right there on that rock and...

Sometimes I pace around. Oh. Have you trying alcohol? That helps dormack sometimes. You didn't take your liver. No, that's true. She didn't. I've had a drink or two,

especially when I was traveling after she took my heart. I thought maybe if I saw Prismere in all of its glory, it would spark something inside of me, but never did. The alcohol didn't do much. It just made me puke. Had a headache the next day. It's a weird sweat that smells kind of pungent, you know? What about a chance related to a Dunkin, are you?

I've got a cousin named Duncan Mills. A little fucking depressing. Yeah. Like his heritage of a coral alladron to be like a blobfish eladron. I don't think I've ever seen a blobfish before, but that's probably more akin to the deep sea eladron. That's...

I mean, if you're feeling this kind of emptiness and nothing and like boring loneliness, have you considered like making your... whole personality and hobby around travel. I tried that, yeah. Oh, you did? After she took my heart, I thought, well, if I travel, I might find a purpose. Yeah, it might be like the location is the problem, not you.

Like, it's not you're not the problem. Yeah. And wherever you went, you were, oh, wherever you went, you were like miserable. Yeah. Grinkle, that's a perfect idea. The best of both worlds, a personality of microbrewery. That's part of the reason I was drunk all the time. There are these things called flights.

You're going to be overly obsessed with Pilsners. Yeah. I'm not sure what the nerves are. I think you're reminding me of Neil. Can we get away from this depressing co-cap? Bada-doo! Just one last thing, you can go. Before you, we depart, I want to give you something.

I'm going to give you my wooden paint. wooden pan flute that I found. Oh. Okay. Here. Thanks. I just want you to remember it, and perhaps you can play a tune on a different instrument if the fancy

takes you. All right. Well, I guess he opens up his satchel at his side. He starts reading a ground roll, and do you $100 for you, please. Oh, I didn't expect that. I mean, a little reciprocity. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to become a serial killing.

This is like the legend of Zelda. Link's awakening. We're going to unlock something awesome. It's a 66, but if you think 69 would be better, nice. Butta-ba-ba-ba-p-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ha. He reaches into his pack, and he pulls out one single caltrop made from bone. Oh. What kind of creature would have caltrip-shaped bone?

Oh. That's very cool. That's very interesting. I put in my pocket. Frosty, the umbershire for pan pipes is very different from a flute. Why do you assume that he can play it? I don't make that assumption. I'm just trying to be...

He starts playing it, at least. Effortlessly. Oh, I don't know. Well, I don't know that the goat that they found was such a musician. How can you feel no emotion playing a tune as jaunties left? That sounds like Torbeck's sex playlist. You time your moves out to it? Just 40 minutes of that.

You do the special edition portion right before it? Oh, no, I'm thinking of Java. That's from Rotet. There is. With that alien that had his oddly luscious lips. Oh, no. Oh, no. And like a provost.

Hey, Dorebeck field things. That was an early awakening. Rich, you roll a D4 for me, please. Four? Four. Ninety-nine. Thank you. How the hell of you?

Oh, it really was. Torbeck's never been able to look at an end year. Imagine? Oh, this is so funny. I'm going to start giving out your dreads. Perfect. Frost. No matter how carefully you walk,

you keep stubbing your toe. If there's nothing to stub yourself on, you step on a caltrump. And I can figure this at any time, or does this happen? Anytime. Okay. These are ones we can cash in when we choose. All dreads now are ones you cash in

throughout the course of the episode. And so that way you're not forced into them for long periods of time and you have some agency. Gideon, you become a proud nudist. Yes. Rich, here's a new one for you. At random period, you turn into one of your other D&D characters?

That D&D character is Briggsie. That's pretty good. Well done. I'm gonna, I'll have some medic questions when we get to that. Okay. And the rest are not done yet. Keep the levels and stuff?

It's just the personality of Briggs. I have a lot more than four characters, don't know? Yes, but I thought of four off the top of my head, and I didn't want to figure out the rest of your characters or their names, so I went with four. Okay. Can I ask, is that animators and show? Which four are you?

Rodeck, Toa, Clayton, and Bricksey. Oh. Good picks. Thanks. Good picks. Clayton just pumping into this. What is happening? Why is Manny and school Gus this year?

Thank you. Thank you. Sounds like with the same. Oh. Farewell, Carl. It's been a pleasure. Goodbye. Well, yeah, it was neither here nor there meeting you.

I hope you have safe travels in Prismere. We'll have a mediocre day. Don't kill anyone. He was always a quiet, lad. He was always quiet. He just never kept you himself for you now. Nice guy. If and when you killed someone, did you put them into the swamp near the Coliseum?

Allegedly yes And so many people Let's get out of here When you hear the haunting game I know I follow the news The haunting musical Flute Killer has struck again

You The residents of the soggy corridor. Everyone is traveling groups of four or more, and don't go down any dark alleys. Well, we need to go talk about funco pops. A tourback, you are overcome by psychedelic hallucinations. Oh, well, you know, psychedelic. Got it. Wait, what?

Oh, no, Bunko. What the full? You're talking about Funko. Oh, it's by Bunko. Cricko, whatever you're doing, you'd much rather. be watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece, The Mummy, starring Rachel Price and Brendan Fras. I'm not having to do it, Ray. I have a better idea. Yes, Greg, oh, I'm all ears. You always have such good suggestion.

What should we be doing with? Torbeck, as he says this, you look at Frost and you realize that he is no longer Tabaxi. He is now all ears. as you watch his ears sprout up all over his body. I'll say we forget about the whole Bunko thing. Let's go watch the 1998 Adventure Classic, the Mummy. So I'm Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss. What?

Grigo, don't be so wild next to frogs. Why? No, you're going to disturb his entire nervous system. I'm fine. I don't know what you're talking about. As the ears open and claws, no mouth is there, but as the canals open, this loud suction sound happens, he creates sounds. Torbeck's going to throw up. Torbeck, why are you looking at me like that?

I'm Torbeck can't look, but can't look away. We need to get you a nice relaxing experience, which, I mean, personally, offering the mummy checks out of the box. Whenever on the classic adventure where I can turn my brain off and enjoy some nice nostalgia, with some special effects that admittedly are dated, there's a charm there. There's absolutely a charm.

What are you talking about, Grego? That's shit to do. It's a great adventure story. Why do we go watch the mummy now? And then later, you know, it was the beginning of Cove of Chris Rocks. Not Chris Rock. I can't tell you anyone right.

The Rock. The Rock. Dwayne the Rock. Dwayne the Rock. Johnson's career. Oh, even if we had time for that, Dormac wouldn't be able to relax, knowing that Frost couldn't see anything,

and he would just be listening to the entire movie's soundtrack, like 400 times. What do you mean I can't see anything? Well, luckily for him, the soundtrack. You can give him a second. Well, actually, that's great. Even if he can't see it,

it has a legendary soundtrack, and it actually won the 1990, learn Oscar for Best Sound. Oh, the ears are eyes. At least according to its IMDB face. The ears are eyes. The ears are eyes. Those fuzzy rocks right on the shore covered in muscles.

They're like the movie from the room. Yeah, and the best part about watching the 1999 classic The Mummy starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Voss. Is that, you know, they don't make movies like that anymore. Every time the movie's like, oh, there's got to be some like deep meaning or twist. They're lecturing us. And it's like, now. This is about a mummy who gets out and beautiful people go and they fuck the mummy.

And that's it. That's it. And when I was an invention movie, I just want to watch beautiful people punching a mummy in the face. And then, ooh, and the scabs go in, they're like, like, wha-h-h-h-h-hurt. As you explain to this, the tour bag. Oh, yeah. You know. Alchemic putty flesh begins to drip.

And he's just kind of, like, melting in front of you and, like, shrinking and changing shape, and his limbs are lengthening. me, the ears our eyes, the ears are eyes, the years are eyes, the years of our eyes, the years are eyes. I don't want to be dealing with this right now. I would much rather be watching

the 1999 adventure film, The Mummy, starring Brennan Fraser and Rachel Walsh. Well, first, I think that the Scorpion King was a little unrated. But second, I mean, we, well, we're going to sit down, watch the movie. We don't go to talk to whatever the fuck

illig of muck stump. And then he assassinates the king, and then I won an electroom chef for nothing. Fuck that. We've lost 72 hours. The king could be assassinated already. We've missed our dinner with that war. We've missed everything.

We don't have time for a movie. We're already behind. And as he says this, Torbeck, you watch as the ears flap, they're hairy ears. But the hair begins to elongate and turn into stumps where at the end of them are eyeballs that are wiggling around. and looking at you from all angles.

And then you begin to notice that some of them don't even end in eyeballs. They end in mouths, and those ones are talking all in unison. Torbeck, you notice this puddle of Torbeck laying on the ground. Unblinking tears are streaming down his face. He's trying to drag himself away from this horrific Eldridge abomination. It's going to be all right.

Torbeck, just listen to me. Frosty, why are you going? What? Am I having a stroke? That's what I'm not going to think. Do you smell burnt feathers? Yes! Yes!

Torback does! I need to get to the cure immediately. The cure for what? For having a stroke. It's watching the 1999 classic The Lamao star of Brennan Fraser and Rachel Voss. What is the 199 classic The Mummy Star and Brendan Fraser and Rachel Ross? Where beautiful people fight the Mummy King.

It was the 199 Classic The Mummy Star and Brendan Fraser on Rachel Boss. Well, the connecting piece is the dragon. What? What dragon, man? Dragon D's not as you see Grico. instantly as in a similar puddle fashion, transforming the chuckles everywhere. I'm tired of hearing about the mummy,

the classic from 1999, the best sound winner from the 1999 Oscars. Oh, oh gosh, gosh, I've missed you, fella. The fact that I didn't get to come out, I got to watch that whole Gordon Ram v. debacle, and I got to say, very mid, very mid, very mid, Very little. This happened because you took your clothes off again.

Well, no, I don't think the Chuckles is like enticed by my... No, I mean, it's not a win one of that. Summon him, but... No, I've just been waiting for a setup just so I could loophole it. I'm like, oh, this is very frustrating. Not a whole lot can hurt me in clown hell, but, you know, on getting joke of blueballed, that's really bad. bad for a cloud. That's like, that's like, uh, that's the, the, uh, silver bolt to a

winter wolf. Oh. What? So good. That's so good. Are you still coming on the years? You can't see that. You can see that. He can see that. It's because he's hide. Oh. He has psychedelic hallucination. So now that getting is naked and Chuckles has appeared, Torbek has, like, is on the borderline of unconsciousness. He mentally can't handle what's happening. You are lying on the the ground looking up as you watch this ear abomination

shambled towards you speaking in this language you don't understand and you resign yourself to death as you stare up into the canopy of this mushroom forest and you begin to notice things in the I want you to roll

perception check my limbs have turned to cement and I'm stuck to the ground as I'm looking up in the and I say wait did you say perception sorry let me check my Chuckles will all look down at Torbeck, and I'll say, I didn't know that you could secret of Alex Mack.

That's five whole year. That's 1994. It's five whole year before the 1999 classic, the mummy, starring Brennan Fraser and Rachel Weiss. As I lay there listening to this horrific abomination, Torbeck is able to just squeak out a small, oh, sweet release. Hoping for death, and I hold a 15.

Looking up, you see a kaleidoscope of colors in the sky above you. Where there had been a beautiful starry night and the large orbital moon, you see none of that anymore. As you now stare into just what looks like a flowing river of every color and every color imaginable and unimaginable at the same time. But that's not what catches your eyes the most. as they begin to focus in, you notice that these mushrooms are secreting something. A tiny specks drift down from them, and you notice them shining almost like glitter in the light on all of your friends as it coats you.

It is, you reach down and you touch it, and it feels like it skitters away from you. Like they're these small, dark, but iridescent, like puff balls. of spores. And they're crawling all over your body. Living sports. As they drift down from the cap of these mushrooms, everywhere. Everything is coated in them.

How did you not see this before? Everything is covered in them. And you watch as they move over you and over your friends. You watch as they go into their eye sockets in their ears, is they're breathing them in, and they're everywhere. I mean, that would just further send poor Tormac down to the end. in the asylum. He's like foaming at the mouth at this point.

Well, I think it's kind of run its course. Get up, Torbeck. There's not a whole lot more you can do with that prompt. You can chuggle faith in the light surrounded by the pollen, like to run. Hey, what's wrong, Dormann? Tourbet can't move, and it just continues to foam as his eyes like roll back into his head.

Oh, you need a little bit of a pick-me-up. Hold on. I'm gonna pull out a bicarne or not a bike horn a bike horn a bike uh air pump Oh, there's gotta be there's gotta be hold on ah That's the wrong attachment oh this is oh I have an old hookup Uh maybe no no hold on oh I found one I found when I found one No no no no let me flip it over no no no no let me try to flip it over Try and flip it over again. Nope.

Nope. Flip it. How? There's only two ways that could go. Why did it not work when I flip it? USBC.

Oh, Oh, frothy. You're right. You're going to pop a hose. You're going to which light. We're all going to instantly die. Should we be worried about this?

Yeah, what do you do? He's blown him up. What does it do? Like, Gideon. They inflate me like a balloon. The air is cool. There's a gentle breeze as it rips around your body.

Oh. The night sky is clear. It is a cloudless evening. And it is incredibly comfortable, nude standing here. Pretty nice out here. Pretty nice. Yeah, boy. Gideon, you know, after what a big and tough guy you always, you know,

presenting yourself that I was expecting larger. A little disappointed, I've got to say. It's cold and comfortable out here, all right? It's still about the size of your fore. And he's stressed out, all right? I mean, he just went through a lot. A lot going on. I basically hate you, and here you're back, all right?

You know what that sounds like? What? It sounds like an excuse a bitch would say. Okay. All right, here we go. I drew backclips. I had you backflips. Like, slinky.

Yeah, like it's slinky. You can tackle Chuckles. I will try to just backflip and slinky backwards in the direction where the boosts to be going for this story to proceed. You have been wandering through the mushroom forest this entire time. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to wherever Chuckles thinks, not trick up. Get him, Gideon. So, yeah, contest each other.

What is it? Contest each other. Contest. He's acrobatics versus athletics. Oh. Uh-oh. Oh. I get a little cold.

It's a little cold. He's heating it. 25. That's not cold. He's hooked to pump to me. So just to clarify, even though Gideon is completely naked, the gauntlet stay on during sex.

Yeah, obviously. I'm fair. All three of them. The final gauntlet has been revealed. It's the final gauntlet. They were worried about him in the train. Oh, no, no. Don't get it.

on the other, because, oh, God, like, miscalculate. Oh, fuck, oh. A horrible, horrible fucking clown. You're right, Scallion? No. What's his face is, get, just be careful. He's got chopped teeth. I will attempt to,

I'm just going to attempt to, like, actually just slinky and slither my way up. Oh, God, thank God so I have my clown grief. I'm going to try to, um, I'm going to try to, like toothpaste out of Gideon's arms. Oh, God. It's so greased up so many times in the last 10 minutes, or I guess three days.

With everything going to absolute hell, Torbeck would attempt to make eye contact with Cremie and say, like through the foam and the connoption fits. Is this it for you, Torbeck? Is this your last request? Any mushrooms? I guess. I'm going to go to the.

to the mushroom. How tall was it? They vary in sizes, but for all intents and purposes, for the best visual, it's as if you're in a forest, but instead of trees, they're mushrooms. And so they're all varying in sizes. But you have some that are towering well above you, and you have some that are much smaller, and they seem to be in their early stages of life, slowly growing up to the... I want to find, like, a sapling-sized mushroom, and just, like, grab a big...

If they're, like, as soft as mushrooms, I'm like, grab a big chunk of, like, the underside. I'll ride Torbeck. Just right in the... Okay, here we go. I don't know why he would choose this. Hey, guys. Oh, yeah, you're here too. What do you mean me? I'm here, too.

I'm watching giddy, naked wrestle a clown where you'd shove a mushrooms into Torbett's face here. Naked grease wrestling, just for clarification. I'm just glad he's not talking about that mummy movie anymore. Yeah, and played his course. Oh! Oh! Why is Grickle's body so flabby and youthful?

I'll see what Kremi, having seen what Kremi is done, I will go over there and I will attempt to the same one. Smack the side of the mushroom. And this time I'm going to endeavor to like collect the pollen. and they get knocked out of it instead of like taking a chunk. Sure, roll to attack. Oh, natural 20.

Oh! You were able to run up to this mushroom and with a very calculated chop, you're able to shake it in a way that you do see spores drift out of it. I need you to roll a constitution to save through. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, I asked for this.

You... You... Oh, 11. Okay. Yeah, no, it's the same result. You watch as the spores begin to fall down. You weren't really able to get a read on what they should look like from Torbeck in his state. But you see these tiny, dark, dark...

almost like fuzzy bits of spores that begin to drift down. I think of my neighbor Tudoro and the little so sprites. They look very similar to that, just very tiny. And as you're watching them float down, you don't notice as one lands on your upper lip. It tickles at the fur there, and you immediately begin to like you're going to sneeze. And as you breathe in, you inhale it,

as well as some of the others in the air around you. And you immediately begin to feel tired. You're struggling to keep your eyes open. As you blink once, twice, three times. You shake your head, but that exhaustion just won't fade. Oh, no. He's going to go to bed, he's going to save the game. We're going to skip ahead eight hours.

We've got to go. Frosty, stay awake. Stay awake. Stay awake, we don't have time to lose. We need to get back to the VHS player immediately and watch the 1999 classics of Mummy starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss. I run after Chuckles and I'll say,

Wait, hold up, hold up, no, Chuckles. This is Animal Crossing. This isn't Harvest Moon. Animal Crossing's real time. We're fine. I kick lost awake. Go I wake up. You're not necessarily falling asleep.

really want to fall asleep. You're incredibly tired. He kicks you, and it does jolt you, but that feeling of overwhelming exhaustion, it almost feels as if you've been up for two days and you, every time you close your eyes, you're right there at the very edge of sleep, where if you blink just a second too long, you'll be out. Can you use your fucking mind to speak to me, please? Yeah, what are you saying, man? For some reason.

No, I know. What do you mean? I've been talking to you this whole time. I'm trying to describe that the score pollen is what Torbeck was indicating. They made me very tired, but perhaps they'll cure his hallucinations. No, I mean, you're speaking some kind of like raccoon folk language. I met a guy once that sounded just like that. Even when I speak out loud, it doesn't sound like this. No, it doesn't sound like you. It sounds like that raccoon guy. Hmm. That's odd. I have him a lot of money. Oh, are we having a mind conversation? Oh, wow. Hi, welcome. Hey! What's up? I was bored running away from Gideon. You're a psionic. There's a lot of sneaking. Oh, well, I mean, my magic is fiendish and ord. I mean, it's very psionic.

Which even magic, I don't know if you've heard. Anyway, what's up? I don't know. You just want to hang out now? What's everybody doing? To torment Gideon. Will you help us with perhaps solving Torbex puddle problem? I don't really care about that. I want to find a goat so we can cut his hard. out. That's all I'm here for. And to make that dragon these nuts choke.

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, that was great. I can't believe I very subtly, I subtly manifested that into Grico's mind. I'm gaining power. Roll a constitution saving throw for me, please. Oh, he did. I think you should twist it. Dormang got a six. I think Dormack did twist it too.

Yeah, twisted. This is running some course. I'm gonna change out my, uh, 20. Oh, no, you're the good one. I rolled a two like eight feet time. This is a good one. That's that note. I don't know why it's in there. No worries.

That's a 12. Slyleyn better. You look up. You're no longer listening to the world around you. You're staring up at the beautiful sky in the way that it shifts in colors. And you watch as these little bits of spores just float down around you.

And as they drift in front of your face, you hear tiny voices. breathe us in, breathe us in, be our host. And you begin to breathe in. Yeah, I've basically no muscle control, but I take a deep breath. You open your mouth and you begin to... I try to like snuff them out of the air, yeah. And you fill your lungs full of these sports.

You immediately begin to feel tired. Your eyes are heavy. You feel comfortable on this. it almost feels like a soft cloud. The way that it cradles around you, your body begins to sink into it and support you. This is the coziest and most comfortable you've ever been, and all you have to do is give in to the sleep. Just close your eyes and rest. Does he start to look better?

Hmm? Is he no longer, I guess he was just emotionally a puddle? I mean, all of your dreads are up to you when they stop. Oh. Oh. Oh. I mean... Say what you need to say.

You start and they are perpetuals and they last the entire session. You start them and stop them as you will. Oh, well, that's very impressive power, Torbeck. I can only look like that flattened out when I get hit by an anvil or a 10-ton weight or a jalopy. And then my hand pops out and I grab myself

and I peel myself off and I shake myself and then I'm fine. Are you feeling better? I would say with this new sleepiness, the effects of the hallucinogenic curse begin to fade, but Torbeck is tired, and Torbeck would very slowly stand up and kind of brush himself off and return back to the tall, lanky, version of himself that he is and look to Frost and say

Tormack is just tired I feel tired as well but I also feel cured Gideon juggles I think you both need to inhale these spores right away I haven't actually felt the need to be naked for quite some time I just left on my clothes

back there so I got nothing to put them on go back and get your time I'll get them as you turn and look around, you realize that the path that you took is not the path that is laid behind you. The mushrooms that are there look different. There is no pathway. And as you begin to look around even further, you realize that you've been retracing your steps back towards the fork in the road, but you've been traveling for nine an hour now and you have come nowhere close to it. Nine an hour? Nigh an hour.

That means near an hour, Mace. And you realize that... We've lost another day. And you realize that as you begin to turn in circles... This place is fucked. This is unlike any that you have seen before.

This is not a place you've been. but you were definitely going in the right direction. Oh, well, fellas, I don't know how to say this. I think that we've been trans-this mushroom forest had to become the mushroom forest from the 1996 classic Super Mario RPG. Torbeck was trying to tell Mr. Crammy about the spores.

They're alive. Oh, wait, the spores that I just fed you alive. Yes. Oh, speaking of which, can you pull a Constitution saving throw for me, please? Well, fit him crazy living spores? Well, I thought it was done

and it was his final request. I just tried to make good on it. It was 17. I'm going to dread you. Oh. D.T. Oh. You look

around you and you breathe in, and you definitely feel heaviness. on your lungs is if you've been breathing in, it almost feels like you have just recently been near a bonfire, breathing in the additional soot that fills the air around a large fire like that. But otherwise, you feel normal.

I mean, I don't know why you guys are so tired. I mean, if they're alive, man, isn't all fungus kind of technically alive? Well, this fungus in particular said something to Dormick about a host, but it's probably nothing to worry about. Wait, if you fucking spoke to you? Yes, what? Well, to be fair at the time, Frost was 400 years with weird hair and eyeballs. There's a ghost clown and naked Gideon.

It's something about a mummy. Torvick's not really sure. Torvick is what you'd call an unreliable narrator. Oh, you would go watch the 1990 film The Mummy? starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss. That actually sounds pretty nice. What do you think, fellas? Do you want to do it?

No, we're not going to watch. We got so much other stuff to do, man. Now is... Well, why, Fleck, what are you going to watch? Well, now is just not the appropriate time. It's completely inappropriate time. It's completely inappropriate. What?

Um, my kitty, baba. Oh. Oh. Oh, you would you prefer to watch the 1994 classic, the Lion King? Sorry, no. I don't think so. I mean, I don't know where that came from. Are you James Thurrell Jones and Jeremy Irons?

No, I don't think we should be watching any movies right now, man. Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane. He's been so high, he developed into a bottle, and now he's huffing soot monsters that want to host a party for him. I don't have that, but can you get my DVDs? Well, where are your DVDs? DVDs nuts. You know, he does chase him. He wants me to chase him, and he always lets me catch him.

It's weird because I'm naked, all right? Why do you own it? Back down and suddenly, uh, oh, and suddenly, oh, ah, oh, oh, oh, uh, what? Yeah. Can you stop swinging that thing around? It's head height for me. Well, I've kept the chains on the whole time, do you? Yeah, the chain on the end of it is very distracting.

I'm trying not to look. Oh, no, you've been huffing the soot, too? The knees looking for toads. And, uh, this whole tiny thing looked at me and said, breathe me. And I did it. Well, I've been missing everything that's been happening, which is kind of sitting in that strange room. Wait, you just sit in a room?

Yeah, it's like a black room. Is there a door? Oh, there's a wooden chair. Oh. And it's just, no. Oh, no. Is it like one window, but it's really high up and you can't reach it? Sounds like a scene for me Vanquilion.

I was there. It was really loud. And wait. Oh, gosh. did we miss the whole thing with the King of Heart? I've been in there a month. Like, you know, that's a...

No, no, no, no. It's been nine hours. That means me only an hour. Yeah, it doesn't mean... Are we for nine hours? No, no, no. It's completely reasonable to think that he said nine hours,

but it means kind of like an hour. Oh, is that what you're like, nine! Is that why... I don't know where that came from, man. It's nothing right down. And confused. Well, I'll be the judge of this.

What the fuck? What are you doing? Don't do it. I need to. Oh, he did it. Both one. Constitution, you vote. Yeah, disadvantage.

Okay. Allow me to, I believe it is a 15. Here's a towel. You roll it and give it one of those scrunchies. You start to do this. You're at the waist. And you, it doesn't happen right away. But you, but you,

feel your eyes heavy, almost lead it. As you begin to yawn, your nose has a slight tickle in the back. You feel almost as if you're about to sneeze, nothing comes. And as you rear back to let it out, it's just the biggest yawn you've ever had in your entire life. And you feel your muscles weaken as you fall to your knees on the ground. It is, you're so tired, it's hard to stand. A cucumber. Cucumbia. Oh, God. What didn't you expect? Well, I wanted to be a judge that, but yes, we're very sleepy.

I'm tired. Come on, guys. If we wait a long, who knows what's going to happen with a rebellion? We have to go. We got a whole rebellion. You can't, crap. We miss dinner with the hag. People are dropping like flies.

There's no time for this kind of nigh. No! No! Oh, you did you, bye-bye. Look, I like Elton John as much as the next guy. Is that Alan John? Oh, shit, I had no idea. Are we lost?

As I cough up and said spray that flagged away. No, I'm going to go fetch your clothes, and I'll be right back. You can't mess my clothes, man. It's back where we came from. Yeah, we're a crazy busroom floors. Get his clothes. No, I mean, I feel like I definitely know where you drop your clothes. Have you even looked behind us?

It's like we're in a totally different fucking place, man. Oh, fuck. You put the toe all right on your waist. No, no, no, I think it's this way. I'm trying to find your toe. All a rolling survival check. Julia Plouds, it's kind of like, you know, it's a little nice and cool out here,

and everyone knows that the best way to regulate your body heat is to protect the back of your neck. Sometimes I think I'm the most tired person in all of a while. I feel like that right now. I feel like that way. I think I'm just gonna lay down next to the super shroom over here. Why don't you lay back against my back?

I'm just sort of supporting that. Okay. How about, oh, Ho Chi? Ho Chi, are you sleepy, too? Do you want to take a nappy thrust? Yeah. Hootie, lay down and let's all snuggle up in like a pile. Everyone can take a little bit of hoochy softness.

Oh, but maybe we should all be naked like any. He's kind of the odd one out. I can read us a story. Bramson. He'll put us to sleep. You're so good at that, Frosty. You're so good at that. I need you to roll a Constitution saving through, Ginnion.

Come on. I got 11. As the group is finding a spot to snuggle up on the ground, it's around a particularly large mushroom trunk. Hootsie in the middle, everybody leaning up against her for warm. The moss is spread out across the ground, in thick almost blankets

and you're able to grab them and pull them up over you. As you all snuggle in together, Gideon, you are putting this towel around your waist that was given to you by frost. And as you do, you have been breathing in heavily. You had a kerfuffle with chuckles. He liked it. That took a lot of energy,

and you were breathing deeply during this time. And what was your role? I rolled at 25. And you, you, feel a pressure on your lungs, similar to that of Kremi. But you are able to, you don't feel any additional effects as you watch as your friends all begin to yawn and lean up against each other. A little bit of power nap.

This is a quick power nap, fellas. You know, it's just, that's all the top successful people, they power nap, I think. I think the gods we smoke, man. Yeah. Who the heck do that will be what saves us. I think I heard about it was on Coral's podcast. Hey, where to go? I'll read.

I'll read. Yeah, frosty. Yeah, you're so good at that. Morning Glory milking form. Chapter 1. Sponsored by Audible. Oh, I love chapter 1. You begin to read Morning Glory to your friend.

That's bull, she said. Well done. It's like you wrote it. As Cremie, you turn from your friends and begin. There's no way that'll fit. They always say that. No, we're going to take a break. We did it, we did it.

Oh, my God. We went in reverse. Glory. I forgot. Yeah, we're sleeping now. Everyone, this book was given to me by an Asimar when we're back in Asa Agway. The shy of a who? Jessica.

And you continue to attempt to tell the story. As Creming, you begin to make your way around the edges of the small clearing that you found yourself in. You believe that you're going in the right direction as you step between two large mushroom trunks and make your way back. You rolled in 11? Yeah. You travel for about 10 minutes. Through the forest.

And then you begin to spin around and realize that you are completely lost. Oh, fuck. I made an enormous mistake. Hey, fellas, can y'all hear me? please somebody respond back for me oh you just shouted

can they hear nope I'm from the swamp this is you know they're all falling asleep but I've my breathing spores every day all right

we're going to find a way out of this okay let's just retrace my steps here and I turn it around to where I came from it looks completely different than you remember up Well, I guess

If I just keep going Pull up the map of downfall If I just keep going northwest I'll eventually hit the road So I Try to find which ways northwest Oh my God A bowl in nature check

At disadvantage because it's nighttime You're in the middle of a forest And you have no experience here with this kind of thing. Survival, right? Oh, no, nature you said. We have to make it extra spooky, guys. Come on. Five.

You look up towards the sky, and it is a clear, cloudless night. The moon is hanging low in the sky, but it is bright, and it illuminates a lot of the forest that you're in. you look from star to star, and though the sky here does not look like the sky you're familiar with,

you remember that there was always a star that you could follow to get in the direction you were going, a North Star. And as you look through the sky, you notice an orb of light that looks a little bit larger than the rest. Can you imagine, hey, there's a North Star where I'm from? Probably a North Star here. I'll give that one a shot. Yeah, to you with that roll, that tracks. It sure does. And so you begin to follow that star in that direction.

15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes pass. Oh, this can't be. It's in the same tree, mushroom tree. Oh, my God. There's like a little cloth bundle on the ground that I pick up. It's full of governing teeth. Oh, God. There's a tie.

No, there isn't. He's making a blur which reference. Really nice reference, right. Very nice reference. A bit before. It was a little unclear if it was a tongue or not. I guess that's true. Tung?

Question mark. And I'll sit down and I'll just start like, very paranoid, like, freaking out about, like, little frog sounds. Hearing, like, a distant scream of one of my friends. that's probably a horrible hag trying to... Throw me into a house. That's what the cicadas. I'm sorry if you're watching now.

It's a funny comment where someone responded to that chore and was like, cicadas don't screech at night. Thank you. Thanks. I appreciate it. My immersion is ruined in the world of rude. Let's take that feedback.

And you sit down and you stare off into the night listening to the sounds around you. doing anything else? Nope, that's it. I'm just going to wait till my friends find me. Okay. Oh,

I feel like this is, we have a nice little, no, it was a very lovely, very lovely story, Frosty. Thank you. And when she was talking about

wanting to have a sticky date, oh, man, and Musa firmly followed through. That was very, that was a very nice bedtime story.

Her hands must be very calloused. You can't go to... Roll a constitution saving throw for me. It is a bad. I just heard them. Guys, we can't go to bed right now. Roll a constitution saving throw for me at disadvantage. You've been reading this book breathing in these spores.

You've been tired. Guys, quit, quit breathing in the spores. Cremie, did you ever think that smoking... Hey, where Cremie go? No, he went to go. get your suspenders and other apparel. My clothes? Yes, that's what I said.

Anybody see him walk away? What direction he went? Yes, he went back the way we can. Well, I guess we'll just call him on this phone we have to stay in the communication at the gangmarts. Wow, that's remarkable use of your brain's dust. Well, I haven't been high on the soot dust yet, so... You should give it a try.

It's very hosty. Oh, I didn't know you had a plan with Pond Mobile. yeah man it's pretty easy I mean I prepaid for the minutes but is that full Faiwell coverage I have spray I don't know man

I mean it gets what it says it's full coverage but to be honest in certain mushroom forest it's a little spotty man you guys don't know you guys are doing so well I use cricket oh that's brilliant I'll pull out of a jar

Go find Kremont. Go find Kremant. Go. Tell him. Tell him we miss him. Oh, wait. It's dead. Oh, I forgot to poke holes.

Torbeck, what are you? Torbeck will just take the pawn, like, not understand how it works, and, like, stick it deep in his mouth. And he like, can you guys hear Corbeck now? No. No, it's even worse, man. You don't hear. You have to take, you just speak into the table. Chespeas.

Can you hear turban now? No, you found all garbled and choppy. It's like you're using A D&D. Oh, I was going to say

you guys should get on Faye T and T. and T. and T. That's more diagenet. The Torebeck will spit the palm. Good word.

Do I hear any of that? Yeah. Yes, you do. Grimy. Are you there, man? Oh, my God. You were immediately in your you immediately hear the garbled voices of your friends. And it takes you a moment

but you reach down and you pull out this chest piece, this red bond with the heart shape on the top and you can hear your friends. Crami, are you there, over? What, you guys? We haven't moved at all. No, don't respond. You got to wait for him to say over, over.

What? We're not doing that. No, just because Grigo does that. Grigo, said, this is how you doing, man? How are you supposed to communicate? We don't follow the rules. Over? We're taking it out. I mean, I try to get back to you guys. Did you guys move? I mean, I've been walking for like at least 60 minutes.

And I keep coming around to the same tree and I haven't made any fucking progress. Don't make Mrs. Mr. Crammy. What's going on with? We have to stay awake. Oh, no, guys, please don't go to sleep on me. Cremia, you go on asleep, man. We're all falling asleep.

Whatever you do, get, keep them away. What am I supposed to do? I don't know. Give him some whiskey or something. That's not going to do the opposite. Do you all right is said to pick, Tony to find a crubby? I walk up to Frost and I kneel over him. I'm still completely naked. I just started shaking his rooms.

Oh, stop. Wake up, man. No, no, come on. I need you. I need you. I need you. The feeling of being shaken is similar to the feeling is similar to the feeling. of being

rocked in the womb. Naked wrestle. And you have breathed in a lot of spores. And as Gideon shakes you, it actually has the opposite effect as you drift off to sleep. No, Frost, I'm moaning pleasantly.

Oh, fuck. Uh-oh. We lost Frost. Grico, I need to roll a Constitution's Aver Throat. Oh. Oh. No. And Gideon, I actually need you to do

as well, but you're a normal. And yours is a disadvantage because you're already sleeping. Oh, me. No, I was looking at Mike when I was looking at you. You're me like straight eye contact with me. I'm like, that's a mickey move right there. What? You don't know.

Let's put that squirrel over there. Mr. Deeds. 14. It's so good. That's really. You shake frost. And as you do. this, these spores that have been clinging to his rose begin to puff out in the air around you.

And as you watch him drift to sleep, you inhale some and you begin to sneeze. But you feel your eyelids grow heavy with sleepiness. Ross, no, man, wake up. His body is warm and you feel like he would be the perfect person to snuggle up with to fall asleep. Oh, he was so snugly. No, I mean, wake up. I mean, what are you? Nine for Greco.

Okay, thank you. All the soft, dulcet tones of your purring is really stuck in me out. Please, Gid, do not go to sleep. Do not go to sleep, all right? You understand? I'm so tired, man. You want me to send Peg Tunea to go find Crimmie?

Can I hear that? I think that, I mean, is Peg Tune are gonna be okay? We're kind of all falling asleep, but she is. Is connected to me in a way? that no other thing is connected and so if she could find Kremi then she could lead him back here through anything.

Just be curious, you like crickets? Yeah, she eats them. I have a jar of dead crickets. Not anymore. She's been eating them for two minutes. No, it's happened to her, and it's as you say this, that you fall asleep with the jar

of no more crickets. It's a nice, class, class, Cricket Bobo. Mr. Grimy, we lost Gringo. I don't know. He's out here, aren't I? Quick. I send pig to me if you can.

Okay, but you want to come. Giddy, you got to sleep? Is that what I hear? No, I'm not trying to, man. I'm waiting for you to come out. We got to get out of here. It's really late. So much, is it?

It's so hard to tell. I know the moon's getting low. You know, get him lost in the world. and I was with the rest of the group, I would do everything I could define you. Oh, man. But it's whatever. It's fine.

All that guilten is giving me a second wound, maybe. I'm still pretty tired. You can still accomplish things. You're not asleep like the other two. Okay. Should I follow pictum and see if we're going to find crazy? He's guilty men. You want me to come to you?

No. You should say here. I mean, yeah, probably. Actually, you would be very helpful. wasn't. No, no, bring Twig. Yep, yep. Yeah, twig coming to me.

But Torbeck was on the impression that Twig had to remain here to bring Petunia back. If Petunia is with Twig, then how will you all get back? Well, couldn't pick Tunia then just find you? Twig. No, she's connected to me, not you.

Oh, Torbeck thought so. Do you want me come? Does it make any sense to leave a pig tune your hair? And then just you and I go look for crummy? Or if she's like a super cremitty sniffing truffle pig? She's definitely crimmy sniffing trouble pig. Oh, damn, that's cute. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait a minute. Does Creamy have troubles growing in his pants, too? And look, just because I sometimes smell like mushroom, It doesn't mean I'm from the swamp, okay? That's a deep cut. Don't fucking imply. Just because I'm from the swamp,

I got to smell like truffles to mushrooms. That's what grubby calls get in and buy closed doors. What? A criffy sniffing. A grubby sniffing jumble thing. Oh, my God. I'm about to wash a little bit. Jesus, crunch.

Holy shit, right? I'm going to go to shower. Jesus. Oh. Oh, my goodness. Do you want me to come or do? Yeah, Twigs. Let's go find them.

Okay. All right. Let's go. Roll a survival check. Oh, shit. Can Big Tunei roll this? You can roll it at advantage because you were going with the Twig and Big Tune, yeah. You got a two and a three.

And Torbeck, I would like you to roll a Constitution saving for a disadvantage. I would be honored. I'll show you the good ones. I'm going to roll these. for the moment and get a... A nine. I think we all want to wake up as a hive mind. You open your mouth to tell them, no,

don't take them both. They won't be able to get back. And as you do, a few of these spores fly into your mouth. You breathe them in and your eyes droop and you immediately fall over onto Gricoe asleep. All right, good luck. will never fall up.

Oh, you're sad coppering. It's like when I used to stay with her, Uncle Globoos. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash Legends of Evantris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly patron night.

and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, Shroud Over Saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crooked Moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror toome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. The three of you are fast asleep, covered in moss blankets, breathing in. more and more of these snores, these snores as you snore and sleep peacefully. Meanwhile,

17. Guided by the heart of the pigs. Pig Tunia immediately begins to sniffier around. She starts off by snipping you, picking up traces of Kremies scent. She shoots off. She shoots off into the forest. Kiss the scent boy. Get the scent boy. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, my goodness. Oh, the aroma of sweet passion, thy name is Kremi. Only fuck. Pigtune's got the scent of the cigar. Oh.

Oh. And she does get the send of the cigar. And Pigtunea darks off into, into the cigar. the mushroom forest. It takes you five minutes before you find Kremi leaning up against the trunk of a mushroom. Oh, I'm not asleep.

No, you're not asleep. No. Get in! It came! Hey, yeah. Well, it was easy. Pig, Tune, you found you in like two minutes. Yeah, I mean, you were right on the other side of this bush, you know? Oh, my God. I was screaming. You couldn't get me? Nope. All right, let's go find the others.

Okay. Pig Tune, you lead the way back to the others. What do you mean? Oh, what do you mean? I told you she could come back to me. No, but she can sniff out trouble things. No, not anymore because she has crummy center nose. Oh, fuck.

Well, most of him, he's covered in frost fur. Doesn't matter. I was shaking him right before. Yeah, doesn't matter. Her nose is filled with crummy right now. For all intends and purposes, it's a once-a-day action she's got. Oh. Like a long, finish a long rest?

So, like, after 24 hours, would have a thing. It's finish your own rest. All right, that's... What if we just don't do anything magical and we just trust her innate pig instants? Oh, I like that idea. Yeah, she could try, but it's not going to work, though.

Oh, well, fuck. Didn't she leave out kids' clothes? I smell exactly the same. Smales. Cigars and cigarettes are totally different smells, are right? Yeah, I know. That's why it's so weird. You smell exactly the same.

They got a natural 20. She was able to quickly get you to the spot where Gideon's clothes were and you're able to dress yourself. Oh, shit. Killed up. I'm getting a hint of. This smells like Alice Coombs. Oh, yes. Alice Coombs. I haven't smelled this sand.

Coombs lad I don't know why So what are we gonna do now? Well, first get your clothes on, please. I don't know, man, this is actually kind of frame. Just, I don't find whatever. Be decent and least. Prude.

You still have a towel on your head, right? Yeah, not the towel drink over my shoulders. Yeah, for your own. I put my clothes back. back on. That's pretty good. So what are we going to do now? Well, I guess we're stuck here for eternity, or at least until you fish.

I guess so. So either we'll die here in the night or we'll find them in the morning. So you want to just go to bed and then I'll have Pig Tuny sniff them out in the morning? I mean, I don't know what other choice we had. I can't think anything. I thought Big Tuni was kind of like just solved all the problems. was what? Well,

oh, do you think that's what Torrick was trying to tell us for him to sleep?

I don't I mean, he was saying something? He was going to be important for

Twig to stay here because the pig tune and I thought why? I can just have a

big tunia to go a little a time of what why do I need to be here. Yeah,

that chest piece in his throat. How did you understand the word he was saying? I was

no kind of used you to talk to pig. Damn Can't believe I'm going to say that I should have listened to a tour bag Anyone else think it smells like

Pennsylvania in here I don't think is that I don't know what you're talking about that I'm talking about I don't know what you're talking about I don't get this reference at all Oh it's your clothes It was definitely my pants.

What was I supposed to do, Twigsie? They were lighting in my dick. I can't have any kind of reaction to that. Why did you just say that to me? You were there when it happened for most of the part. I mean, the lighting me so hard I passed out. What's that it to do with why you smell like Pennsylvania? Just like that one time I was at a house party at Dave and Mustard.

Oh, Jesus. We are still. We're going to get sued. That is so my life's And no one's gonna I have a Atlas Coonsor I'm so glad

No one will fucking get My goodness Oh Well I have to start writing in your character I've been taken over By some sort of host spore Oh fuck yeah

Didn't he say they were host spores I mean we definitely can't let them sleep through the night They're gonna get fucking Spored well I mean did you hear him speak or is that just the drugs it's hard to tell

he's kind of always on drugs that's the problem with the drugs you never know what's real and what's not I guess you could say to him he's not a reliable yeah you also say something

about them being old spores and then Frost say they talk to him too where goes also not a reliable narrator well that's fair oh right Hey, guys. Oh, you're fucking all asleep.

Fuck! This is getting worse and worse. All right, well, in the meantime, I'm making waffles. I'll roll over onto the pawn and, like, my hand will hit it, so I'll just leave it on. Man, it was so cool when the face was in the sandstorm. It's just living. It's such a fucking bad moment. We've got to solve this problem.

This is a puzzle. I can't fucking solve it. You want blueberries and yours get or bananas? You don't have chocolate chips? Now I can eat chocolate chips. Yeah, chocolate chips. I need you both to roll a constitution saving. Was it ever conferred?

Did who team? Did this pass? A disadvantage. She did. Her. I just kind of did. Your role was her and she's asleep with you. Oh, fuck, I put the spores in the pancakes.

At disinette. Because you've already, you already have failed one. Oh, not me. So you're already tired. No, you haven't failed any. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, this tastes like beaselberry.

13. Shit, you're making Beaselberry waffles. As you are making, as you are making these waffles, you are, your mind shifts. You are now in chef mode, and you're so focused on making these waffles and making sure that the batter is exactly as it needs to be, and that there's the right amount of heat on the pan and the right spots, and that you don't overcook it so that it sticks to the pan, that you forget to worry about the spores for a bit. And you breathe in a bit too many.

You begin to feel yourself getting tired. You burn your hand for the pan for just a second as you start to doze off. As you, Gide, as you, Gideon, begin to eat these Beaselberry waffles, you take a bite and the taste is so... I don't. I'm... No, my question, every sweet. Enjoy while you can't say our name.

Cover me in poisonberry. Right. The ego of the ego. You shall not let go of his ego. Feast young child. The beasel lore is so neat. It's right. It's like the beasel berries.

Much like the beasel themselves. As you listen to the gentle voices of the Beaselberry, you find yourself forgetting to chew as you begin to fall asleep. Your head drops forward, the Beaselberry waffles fall out of your mouth. You don't choke to them on that. Oh, fuck. Literally, like, spider likes this, like, clamping your eyes. Get up.

Your eyes closed. Send me your sweet little by Beaselberry. You begin to snore, and you find yourself fast asleep. Mayor Bigtonia. Gideon. Get in. Get in. Wake up. Get in.

Oh, no. Not him, too. He's fast to sleep. Well, what do you want, Twig? You want Beaselberry? No, I'm not hungry. I like the cup of frogs. I made a lot of waffles. Behold my stack.

Marble at my stuff. There's freedom in the slumber. Beaselberries became an eldritch order. We have to play one shot. We're all just in the Bueselberg. We're all people are like that. Everyone is John. Everyone is Beasleberry.

Everyone is Bezleberon. It's one of those things to be a series of in the moment decisions get out of hand, like, chuckles, like, Chuckles, like, existence of chuckles. Yeah. Well, it was like, they show up with a carton of

Beaselberries, and Derek's like, and only 80 people had to die to claim it. Only 80 people had to fall to the might of the Beasel. Oh, that tells me.

Thine culinary iron maiden will herald your do. Shut up. I mean, it's on each time. What are I still cook with these fucking days? The horsemen ride Four is their number

On steeds of Beasel Pitch my war movie in A-24 And no one can stop me Someone's in chat Beasel merch Like, why don't we have Beasley? I already have it perfectly envisioned Invision in my head for the Beasles

You just keep it for the wraps It's a Beasel plushy With all the different knobs and ends But it's made of burlap It's perfect is it oops all beaselberry it's just oops all bezelberry please please please

and it's like in the bowl it's growing out onto the person to be like the captain crud just like covered he's like a from the flood like a beaselberry he's in like a diesel head coming up with his I'm reminded of this the very brief moment in Rick and Morty when he has to simulate Jerry on the phone

with the wife's character and so he activates the device and like a drop goes down into a petri dish, and then all of a sudden a face emerges and has a whole phone conversation with the wife, and he goes, I will destroy your world! He's said, stop, I'm on the phone with my dad. Anyway,

maybe we should just go to bed because we should really get something done in this session, so I'm feeling real sleepy. I have a big pasta salad earlier. Okay, I'm going to go to bed too. you wanna alright okay and we'll just have pig tunia take us home in the morning okay well crummy kind of cold oh and Gideon's got picketuna under his head I mean he's he's 40% fire he doesn't need big tunia I know I don't think he's got

for warmth I think he just like pigs oh well I think he's just like piquetunia I can keep the fire going if you want can I'm sure burning on these mushrooms that has no ill effect on our health. Can I... Can I... Can I...

Can I... Can I sleep next to you, Cremie? All right. All right, Tweed. You can sleep next to me. Okay. I get kind of scared enough on myself. All right. Well, you know,

we got each other. Okay. And that's a lot. For love. We'll give it a shot. We're going to give it a shot, Twill. Yeah. All right.

Good night. Good night. and I would like you, Kremi, is the only person who went to sleep naturally. I would like you to roll a perception check at advantage. Oh, fuck. Cream. All right. May I twist this?

Yeah. Yeah. Use 14,000. Oh! Oh, no, it's Skullkin. We're fucked. Twelve days later. You wake up.

12 days later Oh god Oh god, I can't put my character sheet Oh, there it is What is it mean, name, me? Oh, what's the main? What's the main? Perception is 23.

The rest of you Dream a dreamless sleep. Oh, that's quite nice. comfortable, cozy sleep. Cremie. Your sleep is dreamless as well. But then you're surrounded

by cold. And at first, you begin to dream of an icy landscape. You're trudging through the snow. And then you begin to hear voices. You look around you and you see nothing. You see no one. And then you see flashes of green off in the distance. Trees?

Much too small to be trees. And as you get closer, you begin to feel the fog of sleep lift. As your eyes flutter open, you're not in an icy landscape. But in the wee hours of the morning, in this area of the Faywild, in this portion of the mushroom forest, the wind whips through the trees and it chills you. As you realize that one of your sources of heat is missing. You look down to your side and where Twig had been sleeping, you see nothing. You try and keep your eyes open.

The sleep is heavy on you as you've been breathing in these spores while you sleep. You try to sit up for a minute and you yawn and blink your eyes a couple of times. try and wipe the sleep from them, but you can't. You hear the sound of voices and you look off through the trees and you see flashes of green, Bullywugs. And then darkness as you fall back asleep. You all wake up in the morning. You have endured a long rest.

Oh, wow, wow. You're all in separate glades. The three of you wake up and... See that Kremi and Gideon and Twig and Big Tune, you're all gone. And it takes a bit of time, but some of you, remember them leaving in the conversation. I guess it would probably just be Torbeck. Hey, guys, is this pawn working?

Oh, this is Torbeck, by the way. Are we awake? Yeah. Fellas. You're all awake. Get up. Yes. We're up.

Twig's missing. Listen, I don't see... Wait, Pig Tunia's gone, too? No, Pig Tunis. No, Pig Tunia's right here. I got... Twigs missing? Twigs missing?

What? Swigs is right here. Not the only one missing. You guys are missing, too. No, no, I mean, I guess you were asleep, but we split the party very foolishly. We should have listened to your advice. Surprisingly wise.

Is Big Tunia still there with you? Yeah, pig tunia's here. If that's the case, you may be able to use pigtoe. Tonya's ability to find Twig, they have a natural connection. Big Tonya with Sanjani, man. It's pretty rude to not say it back. Oh, I'm sorry. I can't do it. I can't do it.

That's terrible, Frosty. Over. You're right next to me. You don't have to... How about this? We have Pictunia, find you guys. We'll meet up, and hopefully the connection between her and Twig can lead us right to them. Oh, I saw, I saw green shapes as I was falling asleep. bully works. Oh. It wasn't as you were falling asleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night. Oh. I'll explain the situation just to make sure you have a full understanding of what happened. Because you fell asleep naturally, you had more faculties to you, which allowed you to perceive the fact that something was happening. If you had all fallen asleep unnaturally, you would have woken up to just find the twig gone. But in this case, you woke up, you were very groggy in the middle of the night, you realized the twig was no longer by your side, and as you were looking around, you noticed the shape of what appeared to be at least one, maybe two bullywugs darting off into the forest, deeper into the forest.

You got bad news, fellas. Yeah? I think it was bushwhackers. Yeah, she was taken. Yeah. And I will say you look around the area. that you're in, and there is one other thing that you see. Twiggs-A-corn satchel is laying partially open on the ground.

Some of the pieces of her inn have been spilled out on the ground, tiny little teacups and saucers, a little tiny rouson. And you do see a few droplets of what appear to be blood. Oh my God. It's not looking good, fellas. Wayne, Mr. Crammy, did you say bully jugs? No, I said bullywugs, and I said bushwhackers or some kind of swamp militia or something.

Is bushwhackers also a magazine? No, it's cutthroofs. Oh, well, sneak up on you in the middle of the night. We need to find our way to you somehow. Are there any landmarks or milestones that we can find some sort of indication that we look for to find you? No, I think we're going to use pig tunia to get to you. She'll find you and then hopefully

she can then find Twig. If you leave the area where Twig was taken and we may walk away from clues, trails and Pictunia's abilities are to find Twit, not us. Look, we've been through this. If she comes and finds you, she's not going to be able to find us. She gets a rest,

all right? She has to sleep eight hours to be able to do it again. That's why I'm saying we don't waste the ability on her finding us. We need to find some natural way of finding you. Look, I try for like five hours last night. It ain't gonna happen. It was about 45 minutes to an hour.

It was nine hours as they said. Nine hours, that's outrageous. Do you guys think if I turned into a boar, some kind of boar monster, I might be able to sniff you guys out over. Oh, can you do that? Oh, I mean, there's a variety. There's a variety of pig-like creatures.

I haven't encountered and heard of, perhaps. I can get similar truffle-cremie sniffers. Over. Well, you can probably just smell the front of frost clothing and get you right to me. That's a nice idea. Very nicely done. You should pat yourself on the back.

Just whatever you do, stay together, all right? Don't split up again. I agree. Okay. The three of us will stay together 100%. How's everyone's morning going? Over. I could use some waffles, to be honest.

Tweak probably dead. That's not true. Stop thinking down. Dissected. You know, her organs harvested and sold to the highest bitter. Would Pig Tunia still be here? Twig was dead? Would Pig Tunia like, you know, this would disab-go away?

That's a good point, Gid. No, she's, you know what? They're probably keeping her barely alive so the organs last longer. Big Tunia, you have any innate sense of the health? but the health of twig the health of twig. Oh, come me. Did you say...

She says she wants some waffles. Oh, we got plenty of this. Go get those waffles. Do they take any waffles? We've been a week all night. You noticed that a few of the waffles are missing. Oh, they're so fuchs. They're so fuchs. Yeah, they won't make it very far. The Beasles stood vigil.

Hootie, no, you can't have cake for breakfast. That's terrible. It's the most... Oh, you got waffles and pancakes and muffins? Yeah, yeah. And Danish's? See, that's healthy. Have a healthy breakfast. You don't see?

Healthy breakfast. Okay, you can have one rat snack. It's in my... Oh. We're all out of rat snacks. Over. We're in a rat snakes? Yeah, we haven't been any rats.

We're in a weird frog place. Over. A rat skitters by you as he says this. Frosty, get it, quick. Over. Ah! There we go. There you go.

Red snake. Why do I doing that so much? Oh, Mr. Cranny! Yeah. If they're keeping Twink barely alive, maybe we can get an ice bucket. Oh, because they got ice because they need to keep her organs alive

long enough to sell them. This is not an organ fake. Oh, shit, they're harvesting her organs? I mean, as far as what I know about bushwhackers, it ain't good, all right? Oh, Cramming, just, well, on the chance of they, Bushwack is it you saw? Do you think that there's a chance there might be political reactionary agents sneaking through the woods to commit their assassination on the king, given

the chance that we did not get a chance to meet their party and planning and put it into it and stop to it? That was going to be my deduction as well. I had considered that they were a small militia attempted to assassinate the king. But why would they need twig? It is interesting that they took just Twig And not any of the others of you And there's blood too Close your ears, Pig 2-2 Come on, Pink 2nd

And they robbed a little house Hold of a hut bag I don't know what they took But they went through it Speaking of things we should be worried about Is anyone else considering the fact That since we've been tasked by the King of Hearts To do like a whole bunch of shit

We only have 13 days We've slept it off in a drug mushroom for us For four of them Haven't done anything Yes, we've longed nine hours. Nine hours again? Yes, we just took a long rest.

Oh, fuck, he's right this time. We have 12 days remaining. Bunkum, Bunkum. All right, Bricko, come on. Transform. We have to find the guys. Okay, let's go. Let's do little...

And I'm going to... And I'll be... I'll have like these little flappy wings on my back that are very effectively useless. As I turn to the spiritual version of like a winged boar, and I'll go, and I'll put a sniff around for Cremie and Gideon. Roll a survival check at advantage.

Let's go. While they're on their way over, I'd like to go towards the blood to, presumably we've allegedly unalived some people. And I'd like to get a sense of like how much blood it feels like it is. Like, mortal wound, artery. Like, you know, a little scrape. I love that you're still holding the phone up to your ear.

Oh, yeah. I forgot how I was going. Oh, I'm just, excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

What is it in medicine? A cowboy steak for something. It's in the bully jokes. You. Steak made a cowboy. You make your way over to Twiggs, Acorn Satchel, and you, I'll say you pick it up, you put all the contents back into it and toss it over your shoulder. And you see that it has been resting in a small puddle of blood that over the course of the night has sunk into the, has seeped into the moss and has spread a bit. It's looking at it, it doesn't look like much for you, but for somebody as small as twig,

it looks like it could be quite a lot. Oh. I know. Cremmy, I think twigs fucked, man. This is like half of the contents of her body right here. You know, it's a lot of blood. That's what I was worried about. What's that, Cremi?

They're probably giving a blood transferees. Probably back on the phone. To keep her alive. Oh, we've got to hurry. Come on, Gercall. Come on. Find them. 24.

Oh, it takes you, it takes you 10 minutes. They're like four mushrooms. You just go around the mushroom that we're at. It's like a giant oak tree. Firsts through the bunch and it's just the other side. Hello? Oh my gosh. Oh, hey, what's up, guys?

Do you want some of those waffles? What kind of waffles are they? There's no time. We're worried about Twig, right? There's always Tom. for Woff. All right around. Time for breakfast.

I agree. Kittian and Frost, listen to yourselves. Eat it off the ground. Let's go. Pig Tune, lead the way. Keep all the tune. We're all doing the anime thing where we have like running and following

the Pigt. Pig Tunea takes a while before she actually begins to move. Without Twig telling her where to go or what to do, she doesn't, she's not as good of a scout as you would have imagined. But she doesn't fully understand the instructions that you're giving her, but she does seem to have some sort of purpose. And though it takes you a while, I'd say about three hours,

you are able to make your way out of the mushroom forest. As you get towards the crossroads, you see or you hear, the melancholy tones of the flute played by coral hearts ray drifting out of the mushroom forest. And you make your way back to the pathway and the direction that you have yet to investigate. Pig Tunya is in the lead as she leads you across a narrow waterway and towards two buildings. And as she sniffs the air, she turns directly towards the one on the left. completely ignoring the first building that you come to. And she begins to,

she begins to paw at and bang her head up against the door, as if to tell you this is the house, this is the house. She wants to get inside. Okay. What's the plan? This is it, boys. We just kick the door in. Okay, Gideon.

Going shooting? Yes! Fellas. Was that a cross- Crossroads? Oh God, oh no. What's happening? It was a crossroads. Ah! You see me, all of a sudden start to shift, and my flesh turns gray and starts to rot. And my hat turns out of that. It gets bigger and turns into a large pirate hat, and my snout and narrows a little bit, gets a little longer. I shrink a couple inches in height, and I grow a couple feet and whip. And my coat turns into a large pirate coat, and all of a sudden you will see in front of you a large rotting, undead crocodile pirate man in black and white.

Grimy, you look similar but different. Very similar but different. Is this the Beasleberry Waffles? Yeah, you ain't a lot of Beaselberry Waffles. You smell like Torback. I've been tracking the potential victim for some days now. Why are you talking like that? What?

Are you making fun of me? Are you making fun of me, Crumming? I told you, this is how we talked back in my village. It was moist. That? In the air, that day. I never forgot it. I was followed by a goon of idiots.

They were called deputies in the city. precinct. Deputy Zee thing? The first man. I'll think it's sweet from the bottle. I stood on a drink then. But I had one goal in mind was to find the victim in her very, very valuable organs.

Oh yeah, Torbac thinks he's making fun of Grego. All right, fellas. Yeah, you... It's a little longer now. What's the rap? Ah. On the Estates report. Our friend is missing, and we have to hurry. Gideon, get the door in.

Get the door in. All right. All right. She's right in here, man. Hey, do you think of Chuggles was here? He would have said, Deputy's nuts. And I kicked the door out. Oh, boy, it's.

Afraid rope tethered a giant toad to a wooden post in the middle of this hut. Oh, shit. The toad looks uncomfortable as a pair of sticky, webbed hands pushed their way out of its mouth. The toad's jaw drops open as it regurgitates a bullywug who falls prone on the floor. When you do that to me, we are not playing, swallow the guard anymore. Do you hear me, Blanc? Nope, nope, you will. Hey, what are you doing here?

The bully wug turns around and looks at all of you. Oh, you, you right there. Small green one. Oh, I got something for you. Don't get close to. Can you watch him for a second? I'm getting ready to like, like a crossboweling. Yeah, I don't know what.

I'm just so taking it back by what I've seen you, like, huh. Well done that. Yeah. I could have given you a crowbar though. Oh yeah, thank you, thank you. I grab what he had, what did he have for me? You're the honor to the king, yeah. You had a delivery.

I haven't been able to leave because Blanc keeps playing, swallow the guard. Can you watch him for? 10 minutes so I can get on out of here and get your delivery. Oh, yeah, for sure, I guess, yeah. Don't get too close to him. He don't, he don't know the difference from honor to the king and guard. I've never seen you a day of my life.

I really hadn't. And I don't know who you are either. I just know that you're all wearing the pins of the king and I was told that there's a delivery for the green one. I see the green one right here. And honestly, I'm covered and sick. I want to go take a quick shower. I want to get your delivery.

You can watch Vunk. Well, what's the delivery, man? Is it like, you know, a small... I'm not supposed to know. I ain't never seen it. What's my name? And the king's still alive. Where's our friend?

Oh, is your name Upgunk? What? Have you seen a small creature, a brownie? The name of Twink. No, I haven't. You know what's happened to her friend, Cremie? That's supposed to be Cremie? You're the guy that won that, uh, platinum,

electric chef thing. So you have heard. of me, but you don't know my fucking name. It's Briggsie to caper cratch. Briggsie, the what? A caper, because it's never a caper that I haven't been able to solve or pull off. Speaking of that, Cremie, are you, do you survive that thing while you're a big rotting chunk of a pirate?

I'm craving bagels now with capers. I looked around a crowd. A lot of confused faces. Clearly, many of these folks haven't seen Edge of Midnight, And they're just really not sure what's going on right now. What? But they'd learn. We're not supposed to get close to Blanc?

Yeah, it's the King's Mount. Oh, I'm sure he's not so bad. He just needs some tummy rubs. I need you to roll a dexterity saving throw for me, please, at disadvantage, because you have gotten within 10 feet of Vlok. Oh, 10 feet you say. Mm-hmm. You would have to do that to, uh, to pet him.

Dexterity you're saving for, yeah. That'll be a... As, um, as this bullywug is telling you this, you move straight up towards Vlank and you begin to rub the underside of his... Oh, he just needs tummy rubbed. Just as quickly as you do this, a tongue whips out, wraps you up in it, and swallows you whole. Yeah, hell of you!

We're gonna notice. Fucking toad. I think I need new underpants. Told you not to get so close to Blanc. I'm gonna go get that thing. Wruggle your gurgitate him up 10 minutes or so. Do I have any sense of where Twigg is?

I would say it's very clear she's not in here. This is clearly a stable for the king's mount. And you see that Pig Tuna is in the corner eating away at a bucket full of feed. And it's very clear that she wanted, wanted to get in here because she was hungry. And this is the stables and there's food and all kinds of other things in here

that are suitable for a pig tunia of her nature. And so she's scarfing down the sloth that would have been fed to Vlank as the stable tender makes his way out and heads off into another portion of the downfall. I never did. Hey lads. What are we gonna do?

You can hear everything from inside, Blanc. You know, the little green guard getting eaten was just enough of a distraction for me to formulate a plan. Should we worry he's gonna suffocate? Weirdly, I trust you to come up with a plan, please. What is your suggestion?

It requires a bit of finesse. Okay. And by that, I mean, Fudu gun, and I shoot the fraud. I'm hoping some sort of gun She shoots voodoo magic Roll to attack Well you had that with his blast

Yeah Cremie has on his blast The precision of a sledgehammer Yeah Oh Can I say that I hexblade Cursed your face? Oh my gosh

Oh my god The king's not gonna like this one Yeah that's Voodoo gun so much Yeah I mean Food you guys We gotta get a It's got Cremies came

just turned into the gun. Yes. 16 points of damage. You... Oh, wait, what level were you? Four? Mm-hmm. Okay, 16 points of damage.

You very quickly look towards Vlamp and you produce out of nothing this gun and you call out Voodoo gun and you shoot a... You shoot Eldridge magic towards this entity

and you watch as it's It opens its mouth to crope as two Xs appear on its eyes and it falls over dead. Its tongue lolls out of its mouth, its mouth agate, this giant, this giant frog, or I'm sorry, this giant toad mount. Vlanc it had been called, now lays dead on the floor of the stables. Grico, you see a beam of light as the mouth opens. You imagine you could crawl out of the stomach of this thing. Come to the light. It's all you can get out of your head.

And now that you heads out, it closes around your neck, and you begin to suffocate. You're choking. You're choking it down. Briggsita caper crash saves another life. Do we kill me? Oh, no. Grico at the wrong end of the frog

and I try and pull them out. What happened? I will see you're easily with your strength able to pull him out. I got all turned around. I got all turned around. Towards the light right now. I just saw a flash of neon. And then I suddenly, oh gosh.

What happened? You felt like Vronk. I thought they smelled bad on the outside. That's pretty funny. Funny. Thank you, Frosty. We're in the wrong place. Yes, we're in Piccunia. What are you leading us here for? Twigs not fucking here, and the cratch just fucking killed the king's mount, man.

This is going south real quick. Brickzie, I trusted you, and you killed the king. The situation reminded me at a time when... Grinley, he was a poor defenseless animal. A lad from South Carcinos when we were. snorting various powders in a den-spice den in a hard way

he told me that drowning was like going home but after seeing that I think it's more like agony why are you talking like this who are you talking to why are you running how are you alive

did gurus voodoo magic catch up with him he just said voodoo gun oh he did say voodoo gun Are you wait? Is this what happens? What the hell happened to Locke? Lunk killed himself. Yeah, hurry.

Oh, yeah, no. He swallowed Grigo too hard and Brigo just shotgun out of his asshole. Yeah. You shouldn't have let that happen. I mean, really, it's your fault. I told you not to get close to him. He went on a walk in the woods.

I'm just saying, this is the wrong, Jeffrey. And, you know, it just, oh, and he said, oh, I've got to end it all. So that's what happened. He was a healthy young frog mountain. He suddenly had a heart attack in the forest. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was a tragic, tragic heart attack. Tragic heart attack. Yep, yep, yep. Detective Cratch, the PD will reimburse you for your mound. I'll let the king know as soon as possible. He's not going to be happy about this. Yeah, hopefully he doesn't execute you. I got...

Negligence. Yeah, you're damn right. Pretty negligent. I left him with a king's... trusted friends and advisors. How do you was it? I got your present, though. Oh, thank you.

He holds out a small, you also smell like you. You get it off like friction alone. Just friction. Just friction it off. Oh, I got a, oh, I got a, oh, I got a giant fly leg in my mouth. All right, all right. It's a hair.

The longer you delay this, the rest. Rarity drops. Oh, thank you. It was going to be a much larger box, but now it's a very tiny box. And he hands it to you. Yeah, that came in for you. Let's see what it is. You open it, and inside is a small patch of hay, and sitting on top of it is a tiny snail

with a little ribbon around its neck that says snail number two. Ah! snail number two. It's significantly smaller than you remember, but looking at it, you can tell that this is definitely and very clearly snail number two. Snail number two,

I could recognize that blue cell anywhere. Oh, gosh, it's been so long. I don't know how long it's been in your terms. Oh, I have just a thing. That was like a giant frog, right? Yeah. Okay, we got plenty of... Can you imagine that you might have gotten

a giant snail, and you don't kill the giant frog? I'm just kidding. He's going to be small. Hold on. I've got just the thing. I'll pull out the little magical saddle that I got 80 months in real time. And I'm going to say, okay, I'm just going to do this.

I'll put you to ice snail number two, but you won't recognize them because you're so small. And I'll put the little saddle that I got, and I'll place it on and I'll stand back. And as you do this, you see as the snail number two moves a little bit kind of jolty as he gets used to the saddle. and then all of a sudden, he fills up this space. And snail number two is exactly the size that you remember him being. Now we've fully fledged mount with the saddle on top. Oh, yes!

Oh, you were a very noble steed. You make me think back to the realm. You know, my mind is clear and I'm covered in frog gut. Snail number two, I miss you. Oh, can you clean me up too with your tail, your snail flesh? Oh, I missed you. You were covered in snail slime. Oh, God.

Hootsey, say hello to snail number two. Oh, you never got to meet him because you were kidnapped by very nasty people. Is this snail number two? This is my daughter Hootsey's nail number two. You're going to be best friends. It is required by law. And I have a need for speed.

And I'm going to reach into my pocket and I'm going to say, okay, where would do sunglasses that I wore when I was calling Frost MF? And as Gregor was doing, Gideon, Gideon, Pig Tuna has finished eating, and you feel a tugging at the hem of your pants,

as you realize that she is biting into your pants and trying to pull you towards the door, almost feverishly. Big Tune, what's going on? Did you get your fucking feel while Twigg was being about to bled dry and kidnapped? You know where we're going?

Okay, fellas. Yeah. Hop on. Highway to do. And you do imagine that all of you could fit on top of it. Fuzz. We got it. Except for Hootze. Hootzee's too big.

So do you have to stay behind? Well, she can... Well, I mean, follow behind. Okay, fellas, you got to slow down and stay for Hootsie. And you'll see that these are these broken sunglasses that Frosty and smashed. I've, like, taped them back together very badly. It's like rotting a very large box that, is actually a mollusk.

Let's go. I guess we all get on. Either way, big, don't you? All right. It arrived. You all get atop snail number two, and Grico takes the harness, and he slams down the reins,

and you imagine that you're going to jolt forward, but snail number two is not very fast. You slowly begin to move forward at a snail's pace. Pig Tunya leading the way. But you are able to, once you get immediately outside of the hut, or outside of this hut, the bully wug, you can see, is just shaking his head and mumbling to himself, confused at what is happening here, is he just brushes it all the way, slams the door, and you hear, I got clean a body, dead body, goddammit.

As stalem-two, takes off after Pig Tuna, exactly 10 feet in front of you, towards the hut or the house that you had passed, literally right across the plank, or right across the walking path, a mere 10 feet in front of you. Had an engine lock a 32 Cadillac. And boy, did she. I'm a chunk!

Big chunk of his house was flying. There's no time, coming. We can't go back. And like, do that. To change his arms It's in the wind and clung on the ground Oh, too Yeah, that looks exposed

ribs and organs inside you, Okay? You never get used to it. No, I can't imagine that one would. Why does that happen? What has happened to you? Why are you you and that's our companion, Cremie? What is happening?

Torbeck is very sure that's infected. whoever do something at the time just feels so good but you get a little bit of clarity and you regret every fucking second of it that's what happened that's what happened

when you've got a little ashen it from the that's not sanitary oh hold on whoa I'm just saying all of this I'm like you really only only only moved 10 feet. Yeah, 10 feet. Okay.

We're here. And I'm like pretending as if I'm doing a skid, but it's just like... Your Tokyo dress. As snail number two, Tokyo address to the door, I'll leap off from the back of the snail. Big Tune is essentially right in front of the door and pointing one of her hooves out towards the door and oinking

at you. As if to say in there. Downward flaming falcon kick at the door and try and burst it off the same. I, too, will put one hand on the back of the saddle. and flip over and jump to the back of the stairs just behind Gideon. Oh! Oh, thank you so much.

Holy shit. Only and safely dismount by his tail and just calmly follow Gideon. I'll grab the side of my sunglasses and I'll take them off and put him in my vest as I try to slide down and do something really cool. But it's like, I'm like, oh, come up. Okay, it's kind of awkward.

Okay, good. Okay. Okay. Fancy, I'm number two, you wait out of here. And I'm going to try to like, to tuck and roll awkwardly towards Gideon. As I'm flying through the air to kick in the door, you're good? No!

No! Bye-bye! Tia! Not on Gid! With that kind of momentum, you are able to kick in the door. You slam through the door, Pig Tuna falling behind you. Grico rolls in after,

Cremi moves in like a secret agent with his voodoo gun out. Torbeck calmly and carefully walks into the room. Frost, hobbles in having stubbed his toe. My right foot hurts so badly. I'm just so glad I haven't stopped my. As you make your way into this, as you make your way into this house, the hut itself has a steep, thatched roof.

A small wooden chest rests in the middle of the floor and scattered around it are six fraying silk cushions. The air in here carries the stench of decaying fish. A lit brazier hangs from a rafter, providing the dwellings only light. standing just inside the door is a jittery bullywug with a spear and behind this guard is a wooden crate with hunting gear piled atop it huddled in the back of the hut or four more bullywugs

tension hangs heavy in the air as one of the huddled bullywigs signals you motions from one way to the next tells you to be quiet and points up towards the rafters above and as you look up you see two more bully wugs both of their arms wrapped tightly around a small burlap sack that's shaking and rocking this way and that and you hear and from behind them you see a bullywog jump down and take a crouching position onto the floor in front of you as he stands up he says hello i'm illick i've been looking for you and if you don't do as i say i will kill your friend and that is where we'll end tonight's

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