Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 36 | The Room Where It Happened

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

The Krew tries their hand at democracy then rides into the clouds...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/eXnpN6eKFI0?si=xQBd9VIhnirUQeI0

What a do, welcome to Ladies of Ventress. My name is Cremant LeCrew, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. You feel comfortable on this ground. It almost feels like a soft cloud. Close your eyes and rest. Let's all snuggle up in like a pile. Everyone can take a little bit of hoochy softness.

But maybe we should all be naked like idiot. A few of these spores fly into your mouth. All right, good. Lock, Dormack will never fall up. He's so... I don't want to. We need enjoy while you can't sell. Case, you woke up, you were very groggy in the middle of the night, you realized the

twig was no longer by your side, and as you were looking around, you noticed the shape of what appeared to be at least one, maybe two bully wugs darting off in the forest. in the forest. And I was told there's a delivery for the green one. I see the Greenland rat here. Let's see what it is. You open it and inside is a small patch of hay and sitting on top of it is a tiny snail with a little ribbon around its neck. It's a snail number two. Big Tune is essentially right in front of the door and pointing one of her hooves out towards the door and oinking at you.

I have a diagonal downward flaming falcon kick. at the door try and burst it off the two. I too will put one hand on the back of the saddle and flip over and jump to the back of the stairs just behind Gideon. Oh! Oh, oh, oh, God! Both of their arms wrapped tightly around a small burlap sack that's shaking. You hear... Hello.

I'm Ilik. I've been looking for you. And if you don't do as I say, I will kill your friend. You stand... inside a thatched hut. It has been three days since you won Electrum Chef. But for you, no time has passed at all but one single evening. And all of that has led you here to this moment where you're surrounded by Bullywugs. Bulliwugs you know to be the enemy of the king, the resistance. And something you have done has triggered their ire. As some of them surround

you, spears and weapons pointed directly at you. As up on the balcony, on the second story, you see three of them, holding a loft, a wriggling bag, as one of them holds their hand out as if ready to cast a spell or magics or something. As the largest of the group jumps down off of the second floor and addresses all of you that he is Illick, the Duke of Muckstuff. You are now his enemy.

And if you don't do as he says, Twig will be killed. He stands up, crosses his arms, and looks directly at you, waiting for your move. He does not seem nervous. He knows that he holds a hand

that is quite high. This is the worst song for this. This is so chill. Just to remember, Zella's lullaby. You Falcon kicked the door down. You came busting in with voodoo gun. Torbeck got off the snail very carefully

and just sauntered behind everybody. How did you guys enter? I stubbed my toe. You stubbed your toe. And, Grico? I, Tom cruised out of there. I have broken sunglasses. sliding down snail number two shell.

That's right. And I'm rolling. I'm rolling very awkwardly after the group. And as things settle, he looks towards all of you. And his eyes go specifically to Kremi, who's holding out, or now in this case, Briggsie, who's holding out a weapon directly in front of his face. He stares down the barrel of your voodoo gun, and he says, I'm not afraid of any of you.

I have what you want. Allies of the king. The resistance will survive. What do you want exactly, Illig? What do you want in my home? Outside of this thing we have here. Oh, that's it. We don't want anything else.

We'll just take her and leave. We'll get out of your hair. And that is why you've played the Bunko card? Yes. We played Bunko because it is a game that requires no skill, and we enjoy it as an excuse to drink wine. Are you insulting me? Little green one. Oh, I thought that Bunko was a co-name. Ah, Tormec doesn't know what Bongo is.

He seems like really confused to you from him. I'm actually gonna run. Torbeck is also very confused. We keep throwing around this word Bunko, and Dormack's been too long and Torbeck's too long and Torbeck's too care desk. Oh, I know. No, you will hush. You alluded to one of my men that you were part of the resistance.

And then you freed a knight of the king, provided him with protection, emboldened the entire village to his rapture, in rapture, you have turned the people of downfall against the resistance, all in a manner of days. and yet you claim

to be a Bunko Bucky he says this seriously. I thought back to that muggy day on the equivalent of a July 9th I was in a Bunko den with mine forming

the gnome you were getting high on totes, trading stories and all I could think to myself is what the fuck is Bunko? Ah! As I shift to transform back to Kremack. Does the gun become a king?

As this has been happening, I will have been communicating with whatever is inside the bed. I assume that we can't tell if it's twig or not, that it just looks quick size. All you see is the equivalent of a burlap sack, and it is roughly the size that would hold a twig. but yeah you have no clue whether it's actually I reach out with my mind and I will tweet make no verbal response if this is you can you respond in your mind

to my voice this is how you respond in the mind God I don't do this I'm over my mouth but I'm trying not to make no voice noises You're doing fine I can't hear you at all I've got a farted sorry Well that's fine I'm nervous no fart again it's hilarious

You'll be able to dutch up in him I couldn't stop it. It came out, Frost. You know that? Just control it. Also, what the fuck is going on? Just control it. Just control it. Let's have to know. Just make sure you don't go too far. Okay. You're trapped inside of a burlap sack. You could get real messy. Oh, God, I think he noticed. Just coughed a little. Look, I think there's a way I can get you out of there if you were to just relax and I could warp you to our side.

But we're gonna let this play out for a moment and see how things go, all right? I'm scared near Frost. You don't have to be scared. Just live in there with your farts for now. It smells real bad in here I didn't Yeah, you did? Oh yeah, I guess I did I don't know

I thought perhaps it would disturb the How did you get into this mess? Well, I was I was trying to go to sleep, you know, and then I did Yeah, that's basically all got in here You woke up inside of a fart sack? What was this party at the time for us?

Why? You could have been farting while you were sleeping. No, so I woke up, and I thought it was crummy because he was just kind of grumbling being a dick face. You don't like crummy does. But it wasn't him. It was a bunch of grumbling dick-faced bullwugs. Yeah. Now, it was real...

Anyway, not like what happened to Torvuck that one time. But then they dragged me away, and I tried to cut one of them. I sliced his leg. And now my dress has got blood on it. You sliced someone's leg? Yeah, got it with my little dagger. Are they dead? Did they, did you get an artery? No, no, punched me.

Hmm. That's probably for the best. It was for the best that he punched me? No, no, that he didn't die. That'll ease in negotiation. I think they're saying something important. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. It's a big misunderstanding.

All right? No, we are alive with you, but we think that we just went through a lot to make this swat better place. And I just wanted to make sure that we were aligned, and that we all like the new king. We want to keep him around so we don't go back to how things were, you understand? Yeah, he seemed like a pretty nice guy. Torben doesn't understand why we all can't just get along. That's why we killed his loyal mound as a message. We fucking killed the little mouth.

Oh, you did? I did. You know, Mr. Clemy. You look towards Cremie. You looked really skeptical, but as you said, you killed his mouth. he turns to you and you see a sly smile on his face. You killed the king's mount. No, no, no.

Yes, we did. We killed the king's mount to send a message. Well, he killed him and then you kind of gutted him from the insult. I made sure the job was done. You killed Vlank. We killed Vlank from both ends. We blew out from both ends. What proof have you that Vlank is dead? He's covered in Vlank.

He's covered in Vlank. If you would like to do. like to sniff me, I will allow it. I smell like the death of toads. He's also like 10 feet that way, just in the other house. He just poke out the door. He just poke your head in the other head.

You don't see it. He looks over to one of the guards. The guard slowly makes his way over to you spear rays. You see as he starts sniffing you. He like reaches out and picks some of the viscera off of you. He looks at it. He licks it. Oh God, I wouldn't do that!

He looks so. looks over to Ileg, he goes, looks about right, boss. We've come to Pear Lee with you. I'm sorry, you've come to what? To Pear Lee. Who's Lee? To pair Lee like pirates do.

We were just with a pirate. I mean Pallet. What happened to your voice? I mean... Your entire, all of you. So you're telling me that we didn't encounter a crossroads and through the magic of the crossroads could teleport into this room? No.

No. Oh, no, no. You were changed for some time. I'm not sure how to describe it. Yeah, you murdered that big frog in cold blood. At least that was the tail. I was inside of its guts. It did eat me, so I appreciate you for a second. Anyway, we've killed the king's mouth to send a message. Installing a puppet monarch is far more reasonable for your angst. Because he's moldable. He's weak in the mind. He wants people to like him. A real pushover, you. You know? So all you got to do is say, hey, we're enacting cultural change. And then he's malleable, like a lump of play-dow, you know what I'm saying?

So now all you've got to do is whisper all of your policies, like on the economy, foreign policy, a trade. Get rid of all of the tariffs. Why do you got those? This is a silly frog down. And then if he gets out of line, remember what happened? old Volgunk or whatever the Fronk's name was. And then you

can puppet him from the shadows like a real government. And how do you expect myself and my men to gain an audience with the king in any way we would be able to negotiate with said puppet king given the fact that we are known

as a resistance? There are wanted posters with my face on them. You say you're with us. We have a royal pardon, a royal decree that all of the Bunker buddies shall be pardoned and that they will be installed they'll be pardoned and you will be exiled

but you're not going no place you all put on fake beards and then you live as the new advisors as the new administration and you puppet him from behind a scene like an idiot uh no who in their right

mind is going to believe that Illig, the Duke of Muckstump, is not Illig, the Duke of Muckstump, simply because I'm wearing a beard. Okay, we get rid of the exalist. That was a little... I don't think we need that. Extreme. I think the new king needs

some kind of counsel, and I think if you came together and you negotiated and found peace, I think that could be a great olive branch to extend to the king, and the king could extend it to you. There will be no peace in downfall, as long as the leader of downfall is someone not appointed by the people? Well, I mean, he's a kind of nice guy that we'd hold

like an election, you know what I mean? Like a... Oh, that's right. An election. Yeah, yeah. You think he's going to will it. You think the entire court of those idiot bureaucrats are going to allow there to be some kind of vote in the chance that

someone else would rise to power and they wouldn't have everything that they've grown accustomed to? Yes. Once again, I ask you. Well said, Thursday. Do you think, me and it? No, to Gregor's earlier point, this king is quite malleable,

and if you think that the people of this community aren't going to enjoy a game of popular opinion where people's coolness and popularity is exactly what determines who gets to be their leader, that seems like exactly the thing they would do. Roll a persuasion check at an advantage, because it's a very good argument. also we need to talk about our tax policy and for what it's worth Gricka's plan with the beard was a good one

Oh thank you tour bag at the carnival Burned off all his facial air Because of an accident Severe burning and scarring Completely unrecognizable for several years I'm sorry I wasn't listening to anything you were Oh I forgot about it When did you get here?

Doreg? Yeah. Dormang's all in here. You haven't? No, he has. Get a guard on him. He's very sneaky. He's very sneaky.

He's very sneaky. He's very sneaky. It's because he's so sneaky, it ever stings any less. You see, Ely? Do you see what we're trying to do here? We're trying to make sure that everyone comes together. Can you smell that?

It's the smell of freedom. You don't think that's twig. What is that smell? No, I thought it was the toad. Why don't we have the rest of this conversation with you putting our friend down? Watch out you open the bagger. It'll be very painful. I don't think I will. For you.

I will keep your friend until the conversation is done. Well, that's fine. We are fine with collateral. We are used to negotiating with terrorists. We do this all the time. I'm sorry, what did you call me? I mean, a terrorist isn't a bad thing. It's a political terrorist.

A political, an idealist. An idealistic terrorist. Committing acts of terror to destabilize the local government. He raises his hand and snaps. And you see the two frogs that are, closest to twig, they move in and they start to hold the bag more tightly. It starts to wiggle a little bit less. We're trying to help you to terrorists. I mean, uh, no, no, no. You come into my house and you insult me. You come into my town, you destabilize what I'm trying to do for this place. Who do you think you are?

You are no bullywug. You are no member of Prismere. You don't belong here. What happens here has no effect on you the moment you leave, and yet you think you can walk in here and do whatever you want, and destabilize whatever you want, and it will have no ramifications, no effect on anything. Well, I mean, it kind of has a point. In our defense, it's been pretty unstable before we got here.

And I am trying to fix it. Well, I feel like we did a pretty good job already. I mean, why mess with that? You know what I'm saying? putting an unstable, malleable king in place so that when you leave, some idiot can get into his ear and make him turn things to back to the way they were or a place even worse?

Have you thought about what will happen when you're gone? How about a compromise, eh? Very valid point that we're just kind of shaking things up and it doesn't affect us. We're applying our own prime material realm morality. On to different peoples. We're getting a little deep with this allegory. What are you saying?

What I'm saying is, so we're going back to Frost's idea. We're going to have an election. And the best part about the king, he didn't want to be king. It's because his brother got drowned in the swamp as a frog, which is very impressive. I think he got it. And so if we run a legitimate... His throat was slit and he was pushed. into the murky water.

That makes a lot in all sense. I'm the Game of Thrones shit. Anyways, we have an election. I would bet you that that our friend,

the king, would rather throw and job, as they say, and then you get to be king for an elected, not a king. Look, we didn't do the opera

and I am an electric fucking chef. Just to have the king get out voted by this guy. Yeah, that was a lot of words. How about this? He's a compromise. We'll put you on as high counsel. We'll invent a council for him to put you on,

and you can pick a few of your friends, and we'll kill the hag, and then we'll leave. You believe you can mend relations between the resistance and the crowd? I do. How? What power have you to be able to accomplish such a feat? You may have the ear of the kick. But is that going to convince the entire gentry?

You've been tasting my grums. And it's coral fish stew. Oh, my calf stew too? Oh, man, doesn't get better than that. Would you make a coral fish stew? I do. Well, I do now. And that's the same. Look, it'll all work. Work out, the king will just be a fingerhead.

And that's definitely way different than what Torbeck thought that meant. Did you say a fingerhead? Fingerhead, yeah. The king will be one. I see. You see as he kind of looks over to some of his guards and they go, a puppet of the people easily malleable.

Look, when he was cuckoo bananas on drugs, He was talking about a lord of coin and a lord of like ships or something. What else was there? When the king was cuckoo bananas on drugs. No, not the king. On frozen peas. I guess he was a king

from a certain point of view, but the point is that if we just have, look, we make up this council. It's kind of like democracy in the sense that, you know, y'all can maybe internally, you know, draft up some... Get us seats in a table.

And you see as some of the bullywugs begin to pull some things out of a side room, and there is a large table that I set up and seats for all of you. Torbeck will go to sit in a seat, and a bully wog will get there, like, ah, and then he'll go over another scene, Griggle sit down, oh, okay, and then he'll go there and another bully wugs, oh, Dormack will just stand. Before we negotiate, and it is clear that it is in our best interest to work together, Will you release our friend? I think the threat of violence is no longer required.

No. When the negotiations are over and I feel that you are no longer threat to me or my men, I will release your friend. Now can we negotiate? Until then, as long as you have our friend kidnapped, as long as you promise to do no harm

to me or my men, she will remain safe. Can we keep one of your friends kidnapped and threaten him with violence? No. We walked into his house because it's fine. I think that's totally bad. Get to the wine,

and one of the bully woods brings out a large bottle of wine and starts filling up the goblets. Oh, Torbett, were you looking in first seat? You're looking to sit down? Do you want to sit down? No, Torben is wine. It's okay.

Were you hoping to sit down, though? Is that the phone? No, no. Tourmex comfortable. Don't worry about it. Okay, that's fine. You know comfortable's that, man. I agree. The guy going around serving the wine

has, like, a short-ed-glasses, and like Torregnagos to reach out and just pass me. Even with the one o'clock. Yeah. It's like just on the reach all. It's like, oh, Torregn didn't want one. Oh, I got one. Did you want some wine? No. No. Okay. Okay.

A Bullywug does actually come up to you and hand you some wine. All of you are given a goblet of wine. Oh, that's not good. And Iliq looks to all of you. A drink in solidarity. A drink. Oh, do you have any great juice for Hootsie? No.

To commiserate, getting together and working on the uplifting of downfall. To making this a better place, to new friends. Drink. Cheers, yes. Cheers!

Tormack sucks it down. I couldn't help but notice that keg that said, grape juice behind you. Drink. Let me just savor. You know, the Fayos Anonymous quality and wine. You notice that they're all watching you?

I am going to try to sniff to see if I detect as a druid any kind of poison. Okay. Roll in nature check. I'm a twist. I'm a twist. You're a check. Cut.

Excellent. I think it's a 16. Let me check. You should have had my characters out. It's a 16. You do not sense any foul smells. Oh, well, when you put it like that. From the one.

Oh. Do you have one, Tom, so we can know which glasses are? out of you, puts in a straw. Oh, so at least I'll know mine. Oh, it's so much easy to drink with a straw, thank you. I need one of you to roll a D12, money, please. It's paper and it dissolves instantly.

Oh! Paper straws, and that's the first thing we need to tell the king about. Fuck this. What is your plan? And will you be here to enact it? You have no pressing matters on your plate? We can begin tomorrow? How long an eve? I think we can get it done in an afternoon, maybe an evening.

Yes. So tomorrow, you will stay here with us until tomorrow evening, when you can gain an audience with the king and convince him that the resistance is for the people. Why wait? We're kind of on a time crunch. Yeah, we could do it now. Something totally unrelated. Just like a... You're available to go now. Yeah, we'll do it now. Yeah, we'll do it now. We We got something going on in like 10 days or something. The king is like 50 feet that way. 11 days.

The king is across the river and diagonal. One swan boat will take us at least. Only like 10 hours to go away. And you have a boat at your disposal? We do. It's a giant swan boat. You know that Frosty wanted to fuck a giant swan boat once? What on earth does that have to do this conversation?

I don't know. I don't know. I felt like it was relevant. And now I realize that it's not. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's the wine's already getting this. And it is. The wine is already getting to you. As you begin to look around and you see that all of your friends do not look like themselves anymore. All of you are looking around the room and every single person in this place looks like a skeleton version of themselves. At first, it's just almost as if you have x-ray vision, you can see through them to the skeleton beneath. But as you look longer and harder at each person, their flesh fades away. and it is skeletons all the way down.

Oh, what the fuck? This again. Guys, this is like the mushroom forest all over again. Torbanks really freaking out. You guys all seeing skeletons too. I look at my hands. Do I see skeletons? You do. Spooky.

Are we dead? What? Is it what being dead feels like? No. Pept in a frog hut with a party bag in the room. What are you talking about? I don't look like a skeleton to you. You're an alligator.

It's not like an alligator skeleton. No. I flip up in my little compact mirror, I might take a look. What do I see? A skeleton? Ah. I guess I should be a clown. I'm not going to go.

There we go. Just to make sure, everyone in the room, no one else sees skeletons. No? What? Who's required to a vote, maybe? I think that we're the only ones who see skeletons. About this, raise your hand.

Is this some kind of... If you see skeletons. Not a single person, but you guys have raised your hands. Raise your hand if you don't see any skeletons. All the other hand. This is going to go straight to my fly bones. We're just going to have to get through this, knowing that we see skeletons. Wait, there was drugs in the wine, fellas.

I think it's gross. If you look at Torbeck, like, starting from his toes going up, his toes are, like, all fucked up. And, like, his bones don't make any sense. Like, it's all fucked. He's got, like, extra joints as you go up his legs. There's, like, a couple ribs that are, like, the wrong direction.

His skeletal structure is completely fucked. Oh, can you not see all that in the year? Like, yeah? Oh, my God. This is why you should always drink your milk. Because of Uncle Toolbook. No offense. Oh, if you don't already have an extremely powerful dairy lobby,

we should make sure one is established so that it is encouraged that people drink more milk than they really should. Especially frogs. I knew I broke my finger that one time. Look, you can see it. Wait a minute. Does anyone have any... Oh, stick, stick.

sticks, sticks. Do you want to take this seriously, or don't you? Hold on, I got to see if my rib cage plays like a xylophone. Wow, it actually does work. Okay. What are you talking about? That's a bucket list. And all he hears is slap, slap.

But we hear the... Yeah, you do, yeah. Skeleton ribs really do sound like a xylophone like the cartoons. We're all being influenced by the Faye what we see all around us are skeletons because you're not from the Faye wild

yes, it's laced with just a little bit of witch lights. Yeah, I told you drugs. It gives it that added kick to really get the Bullywugs going if you're not how best to keep your guards happy than to make sure they have the good stuff. Torbred doesn't understand why Torbeck isn't immune.

Just chalk it up to one of life's great mysteries. I guess there's no way to know for sure. Just another day for Dormack. He's missing some teeth. Like you can see he's missing teeth. And we can see other teeth floating like. All right. So this is what I propose.

It's kind of weird talking without lips, isn't it? Have another drink. How do you end sounds? Oh, enough a drink? Torbeck doesn't mind if Torbeck does. I don't think that's a good idea. Done, go on. Oh, wow.

Here's what we do. It's everywhere. You're some kind of like manifesto or something. I presume you have something written up, like your ideologue, you know. By, Drew, my own comic ones about what I would be like. if I were like a superhero. Oh, that could work. We can start with that.

Fighting for the people of downfall. You still have it? I mean, I do. I haven't shown it to anybody, though. I mean, I think that's a good thing. You have to have some... It's not, it's not like an official document for anything. It was I just, I liked...

You know, like, sometimes when you're doing something that you think is really great for a lot of people, and then you think, well, what if I had a cape? And it's a silly thing that I... It's a silly thing that I did. Oh, it's like a really crazy rare thing that happened to you? Like, what are the odds or things? Oh, my guys, that's exactly. exactly what it was like.

Yeah, yeah. I was like, well, what would happen if I, I don't know, if I was in the mushroom forest and, like, ate a mushroom that was like not supposed to be there. And then all of a sudden, I had magical powers, and I was even, like, protect everybody. It was really cool. No one else could do that, yeah, yeah. So, it did you have to try anything to get that. That's kind of what inspired.

I'm so glad that you asked me about this. Oh, I just, you're speaking of my favorite genre. Yeah, that's what got me excited about being part of the resistance. The last person that led the resistance was kind of a jackass, if I've been quite honest. He didn't really care about the people of downfall. I do. And that's all I want. I want them to be able to pick their leaders

and to not have to deal with some numskull who doesn't give a crap about them and what their lives are like so that they're not swimming around in the dirt while everyone else is living up at that castle doing whatever the hell they want. All right. On the backs of everybody else, you know what I mean?

He's my proposition. All right. I can show you what I... But we can do that. Oh, no, that's fine. That's far for now. No, no. We'll look at it later, later for sure.

The king stays the king. All right. And then his kids will become king, and we protect them real good so that they don't get killed and their heads don't end up on spikes. You understand? But why? Because it's ceremonial.

There's tradition. If someone, gives people something to believe in, even though that isn't going to be the authority when it comes to governance, when it comes to how the things are run around here. Fingerhead. Fingerhead.

Yes. Yeah, what he said. Oh, fingerhead. But alternatively, we install a prime minister who basically runs the country, and he's elected. And that way the both you can have power. How do we make sure that the person elected is going to have the people's best interest at heart? Well, he'll at least be the voice of the people in a first past the post-democracy election. Oh, first pass the post.

I figured we'd do runoff voting. I thought, I mean, shouldn't it be a, shouldn't we establish a constitutional republic based on electors? Instead of just democracy? It's just mob rule. Andy, roll a D12, please. Tormec's always been a fan

of single transfer vote. Uh, Torhammermermer roll a seven. Thank you. You're welcome. That's all, there was a kind of democracy. I'm like, this is literally mod rule. It's a popularity contest. That sounds a lot harder.

rig. Alright, we're gonna have an election. We'll make sure that Mr. Illegg here, he wins. He's the first prime minister. And as you guys are talking, the skeletal system becomes covered once again with your flesh and your clothes. And you feel yourselves going back to normal a little bit. Your heads are, you're feeling a little lightheaded. This wine is very strong. But you feel a sense of clarity come back to you as the effects seem to wear off. Can you crank the music by the way? So we can like, Political discussions! Establishing a new form of government! Can I change the song now?

Yeah. Thank you. This is a good level for us, though. Okay, cool. Oh, anyway, thanks for listening to my mixtape. I know it was three hours long, but I just wanted to look for a wrap-up with that one. Anyway, what are we saying? We've had so much wine.

Twig, are you all right in there? Um, yeah, I think so. They're holding me a little bit tight, but... No, it's fine. You're telling us stuff I don't care about, though. Um, you haven't had an accident, have you? With an accident? I'm just checking, there's an emerging smells. Are you asking if I poop myself for us? I was trying to politely, yes.

I didn't poop myself, but you could just ask, not politely, and just say it out loud real quick. You did not poop yourself. No, I didn't poop myself. It's remarkable. Thanks. Are you all right? Yeah, I haven't pooped myself since I was a wee babe. Do you want some wine?

Oh, I love some wine, but I don't want to drink it through this dirty old sack. Well, there's straws. I don't know if you can get a straw through this dirty old sack. I'll think about it. Okay. Are you going to go again and I have to keep listening? These guys talk about stupid things? What?

Yeah. Okay. You want to just talk? Yeah. I can just ignore this. I'm real bored right now, for us. Perhaps we can play a game. Okay, what kind of game I'll play?

All right, it's a word game. Okay. I'm going to say two words, and the solution to the riddle are two words that rhyme that are synonymous to the words that I say. What a synonymous mean? It means that the word has the same meaning. Okay. So if I were to, for example, say a large mushroom. You're close.

You're very close. What rhymes with fungus? Oh, um, hmm. Bungus, fungus? Oh, you're right on it. She's a mungus fungus! Yes, that's exactly right. Oh my God, I love this game! And we can just start playing that.

I drift away out of the conversation and just sip wine and have this mind game with her. And we don't have to RP this, but we spend the next two hours developing a constitutional republic that installs a prime minister that... Roll a persuasion check straight because you're not repeating it. What do you mean straight? No, I was, if you were going to actually do this. So I still have my modifiers. 16. Okay.

Well, it all sounds great. Oh, thanks. I worked really hot on that mixed tape. What? No, no. Oh, oh, okay. And as you look around and as you say this, you realize that. your front tooth is loose.

And as you push against it with your tongue, it falls out. And then the rest of them as well. And all of your teeth, you watch clatter to the table in front of you. And as you reach up and you grab at your head, you realize that your hair is being pulled out of your scalp in strands. You look around, Grico and Gideon's teeth are hanging loosely in his mouth. Gideon, you begin to notice that your teeth are falling out as every single one of you loses your teeth and hair. As soon as Torbeck's teeth hit the table, he's going to look and then he's going to touch the top of his head and say, oh no, the disease is back.

And Torbeck underneath all that fur looks like a really elongated sphinx cat. Oh, Torbeck thought this was scared. You're going to look like a sphinx cat. Dormick looks like a naked mole, right? Oh, I don't know how much something has happened. So many doctors, is it? So many treatments. This is my nightmare. Oh, no.

Do any of you know how much for a game card? It's cheap. At least a 50 bucks a month. Oh, you should use hymns. Our new sponsor. I don't know. I don't know. What? Why are you all talking like this now?

Look like this on the off. It's not much drugs. Oh, it's not. There is nothing in your head. Well, if we keep drinking, maybe you can go away. Well, Dorman can't let these go to waste. No, no. Oh.

Hey, see, I'm like... Hair and... It's like watching someone, rice swallow, French and chewable. You got just said it just passed right through you. Anyway, can we continue? Can you just sign, please? Sign the Constitution. Can we have some more drugs, please? As I was trying to say, this, what on earth is doing?

This, this sounds like a fantastic idea. If we can get it to work. So the first thing that we're going to need to do is have a meeting with the king. Do we have him come here? On our territory. Can you stop playing with your teeth? I can't stop telling my gum holes. I'm trying to put them back in.

They ain't going in. No, no, I think we need to get you inside the castle with the king. And what protects us inside the castle with the king? What is to say that the moment we're on his ground, you won't turn against us and have the... the guards, imprisoners. It'll say the same too.

I can't understand. Why do you have your lips wrapped around your teeth like that? May we have some more drugs? Pour them some more wine. It's also been that chin that's been assassinated every two days. It's not like a rebellion to leave.

Yeah. Oh, exactly. Yeah. That's right. Okay. Mace, can I have you roll a D-12 for me, please? We'll take wine to mark down the hair. And more wine is provided for you.

Three. Can you roll again, please? Five. Thank you. Oh, please. I might rewind. Hmm? Do my teeth reemerge?

Not right the second. No, wherever your teeth are, they're going to go. F! Oh! Oh, gosh. Boy, just like, shooting out of my head's mouth. You got like giant bruises in your head. But it is not shortly after this that your hair and your teeth reappear on your body as if nothing had happened before.

Oh, I hate that. And creamy, it is as you are rubbing your mouth with your hands that you realize it is not your fingers that are rubbing against your teeth. But your toes as your hands and feet have switched places. There is almost no difference for Torbba. I'm pretty much. There's slightly different shapes. You almost wouldn't notice if you were just looking at Torbek quickly.

It looked like a Rakshasa. We really gotta quit drugs, fella. Oh. You've any wine without drugs? No, and it doesn't matter because the effects of this are gonna last at least 24 hours. Oh, well.

Anyway, I'm gonna just pull more of this one. I'm really, okay. I'm impressed. Oh, fuck. Oh, there's one everywhere. Why are you doing this with your hands? It's all of this some sort of cold. Are you signaling to someone watching? No, no, no, no.

It's because right now my hand are my feet, and my feet are my head, I think. I think I'd have to take off my shoes in order to find out. Does that mean that my shoulder is my hip? My hands are now my feet. Oh, my gosh. I can smell everything.

Oh, I'm swinging from the rafters. I've always been able to do this. Oh, hey, smell my feet. Smell my feet. What are you seeing him do as he actually... Because it looks like he's using his feet to grapple onto... Like, he's doing it right now. How does that...

What is your perception of what Grigo is doing at this time? His feet are just hanging over. He's hanging by his knees. Oh. over the beam and he's just swinging there like a child. Thank you for the information. The doorback goes to Dwight Gordico and his feet do this horrific gripping motion. And it was like, ah!

You pick up the goblin, you just smash it in your toe grass. It sounds like we're very close to having a deal, and perhaps we can take a look at you. your comic later. I forgot about it. The evening is almost spent. I will put you up in rooms here tonight

and in the morning we will make our way to the palace. One of the time crunch from a very handsome guy we think he wore a mask and he wore very tight pants. Yeah, we literally just woke up. We just woke up. And so like we need to... You just woke up

in the very... Late hours of the evening. Is that happen? You got a long rest, so however long that was. We took your friend in the night. The wee hours of the morning.

It's been many, many, many hours since. Oh, I hate the mushroom forest. Even if we find that goat, let's not go back to sad fish boy. I can't remember his name. that depressing that. Oh, you're talking about

coral? Oh, yeah, coral. Coral Ray. Harts Ray. Hartsray. Yeah, really sad what happened to that guy. Isn't it weird

that he had a heart-related thing happened to him and his last name was Hothrae before that happened to him? I didn't think so. Anyway, does that sound good? Can we just draft this Constitution or what?

You have to take me to the palace to meet the king. So we're not going to sign anything. No kind of agreement. No. Before we go to the king. No. All of this would have to be done in front of the king,

with the king's signature being first and foremost. More of a ceremonial position. Well, what kind of rooms you got? This is like a hut. Like a barn. We have rooms at the castle. From the outside, it did look like a hut. From the inside, it looks like a large inn.

It's got a wide open space on the box. You can see that there's a bar off to the side. There are a couple of rooms that are clearly storage areas and such and then at the very back there is a staircase that goes up a wooden staircase and then there is a landing that wraps around with a wooden railing and that's where twig is being held but you see that lining those walls are a plethora of doors that clearly lead to rooms. All right. Well, fellas, let's get an early night, and we'll get up bright and early in the morning. Oh, that's a great idea.

Maybe we'll sleep off this. Let us pray. I don't know how I'm going to put my shoes on in the morning with toes. Well, that's why I don't wear shoes. So look who's, you've been arguing about with me, how unhygienic it is. And now I have the last laugh as my hands are on the floor now, like, just in all of the frog dunk. Yes.

I suppose that drank, Rickon. You win this time. I win. You won the battle. Your toe strength is very weak, Frosty, when you wear shoes. That's the trick. That's what the shoe lobby wants you to think, that you need shoes. It's ridiculous.

See, look, here, give me a jar of pickles. Ridicamalus. A jar of pickles? Yes, please. All right, I hug it. What are you going to get a jar of pickles? I just assumed that there was a jar of pickles here. They're bread and butter pickles.

Is that all right, Grimm? Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. Even Torval, I won't eat those. Yeah. Oh, thank you. And I'll sort of hug it, and then I'll do that, like, kicking feet thing that cats sometimes do when they're wrestling, and I'll endeavor to turn the entire lid off.

Roll in acrobatics. Okay. I'm going to try to grab it. I'm not trying to. sure. I'm not sure. I'm excited to find out. Dirty 20. Oddly, and it looks like he's going to knock the jar of pickles over on multiple

occasions, but you are able to get the lid off. And with a loud pop, the smell of dill and, I don't know what else is bread and bread. Mustard seed, butter, bread. Oh, I was going to open a shitload of sugar. I didn't want you to open it, Frosty. A shitload of sugar. I don't want you to open it.

Flops up in the air. Give me enough a jar. Brings another jar of pickles. Hold on, I'll set this down. I smack it out. Oh, no, he's filled the pickles. Disgusting. Pickle juice is spreading all over. Can I give you another one?

And I, my toes play, and I grab one with the jar, and I just grip it real tar, and I just grab with my other toe, and I just pop it. See, this is what walking doing bare feet does. Look at that toe strength. Yes, but you're all calloused and stinky. Yeah, but it's all about practicality, Frosty. These shoes protect my feet and...

Smells a lot better these bread and butter pickles. Look at display action. Can you release our friend Twig? Yes, once we get up to the... Yeah, I'll get this other one out. Ooh, ooh, ooh, okay, any more jars we can break? Well, there's the grape juice keg I mentioned earlier. That's related.

We're going to pour. Do you have any more jars that we could potentially fumble around with? Would you like another jar of pickles? I mean, any kind of jar, like some kimchi perhaps. I believe we do have some kimchi. Oh. I'm bringing some kimchi. Oh, thank you.

Kimchi? Yeah, sure, sure. Hmm. Anyone want some? Anyone want some? Anyone want some kimchi? Don't like that. I've been way down to you.

down though in order to get to your height and for you to be able to like dribble the kimchi into his mouth so he does this weird like his knees are up past his head and he's like all shrunken down there we go there we go like a hungry little bird there we go there we go get in coming stuff man sure it's good for you it's good for you yeah I want to keep the buzz going out of me oh I'll love it Well, uh, but good night. We'll have guard stationed outside of your door, should you do anything untoward. It will be dealt with.

But we are going to trust that you mean what you say and that we have your word. And therefore, once we get you to the room, we will provide you the bag. Oh, that's good for you. Thank you. Dormack has a point. Sort of question. Yes. More of a statement. Tourmec sometimes has night terrors. Will that be a problem? No, keep an eye on you if you're clearly sleeping and tossing about in your sleep,

there's no need to harm you. It gets very violent. It's true. I believe it should be fine. If there are any casualties, we will have to deal with it in the morning. All right. Gregor's missing his pinky tune. Yeah.

It was my fault. Like, that was a little close. Yeah. As he's shoveling me. Yeah. It's just kimchi. Running down my chin. Oh.

Oh, it hits different when it's toe kimchise. Cheese. You know, I used to date it, girl. Well, I think it's been a pleasure. No, no, Torvack. I think it would be better if you just killed us now. I really wonder how you've accomplished the things that you've accomplished, a lot of you. Really the miracle.

But I'm finding myself convinced that this is what is going to be best for Downfall. So, you may head upstairs, and the gents will show you to your room. All right, gents. Either way. Oh, is there room for a giant snail? No. There's staples like five feet across the room. Where are we going to put snail number two?

Into the snaibles. Oh, they got a snables here? That's a stretch. I'm not going to laugh. You'd be snail bulls. Snail balls. Okay. I'll take care of snail number two.

I was like, snail huncher bulls. Instead of peanut butter and jelly. No, that's what's called as cargo. Oh. Bulls. Scargo balls? I've got to go I mean now that my

limbs are swapped I feel like we could really turn the snails into a pod racing scene so I'm gonna suburb on my way out there you are not going to go anywhere oh what I've got a snail out there into your room

I've got a snail out there look he really wants us to go to this room okay fine just makes sure he has lots of food and snailables and everything else and he's taken very nice care That is a prize racing snail.

Do you know how much money I would lose if anyone stole my diet snail? Would you like one of my men to go outside and stable your snail? I would feel much better about it. If we could, because I would just be so, because keeping the stable will prevent him from being murdered.

It's a very, it's a very stable, stables. So, make sure that these are right. Because I've just got... You will make sure your giant snail is fed and water and safe until the morning. I appreciate them. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, Torbeck, before we head up, Torrmec suggests maybe you bring

a rope, lots of rope, to tie Torbeck down in case of the night terrors, maybe something with more tincile strength like chain links. Yes. The guys get uncomfortable if I'm left untied. Surely, if you can produce a sack, you can produce chain links. I think you can handle us. We have chain lengths. Are you taking those off?

No, would they extend you with chain to tie a friend down if it is necessary. I prefer using... We have chains. We'll talk to. Torquick always just assumed those were permanently attached. No, you wouldn't wear this. this part, man. You would just get tied up in the other end of it. Okay.

Okay. What if you have to use the restroom? I'll just take them with me. Nothing you hadn't seen before. Just take them off and just set them next to him. I don't want to take them off while he's having a night tear. What if I look like Grico in the morning? That's true. What does it even mean?

It's an insult, right? Don't worry about it. Well, thank you. We are going to go to our rooms now. Thank you for taking care of Snail and two. I think it's just the one room. A one room, which is very spacious. And with that,

you make your way upstairs and you were led to a single room. It is quite spacious. There are no beds, however. There are simply hay mats and blankets on the floor. But there are enough for all of you, and you are

placed inside the room, and as you enter, being the last person in line, you are handed the sack containing twig. Oh, great. And you are moved into the room. The door is quickly shut, and you can hear a sliding wood beam

come down over the door, as well as some locks as you are locked into the room. There is a sliding window on the door, and it is opened on occasion, and you see they check in and watch you. And you imagine that there are other ways that you are being viewed as well. In the stables,

Hey, Paul, it is Pesam, Pesrami, and Swiss needs more soul. Oh, fuck! No! You got there before, man. Twig, I'm going to put you in the corner. Escape the bag at your legger. Everyone, stand back from the sack. The bag just wiggles and moves around.

You start to roll across the floor. I've undone the It continues to roll across the floor Tweed, do you want some wine? You see the bag stop for a second and then you see the beginning portions of a mushroom hat

start to come out of the opening of the bag and then you see Twiggs' face and her large cracked face Oh, you want some one? Did you say that? It's Bunko not! Okay. We can have some one.

Yeah, he won't play Bunko after. Yeah, let's do it. I was just going to pour it on the filthy sack and let you kind of suck it out of the burlap. I don't want to say anything out after what I've got a mess sack today. I'm glad you were able to get out. You want to pour it into my mouth? Yeah, hold on. No, hold on.

Very easily. I uncork it. Ew, why your toes on your hands? You'll understand when you have a little bit of this. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she drinks down a lot of what. She's just chugging and chugging and chugging and chugging. You've had a heroin.

Not. Until there is not a single drop left in the bottle of God. Gideon, you would be proud. You're like 60% wine now. Yeah. All right. I take out a bunch of dice and I give everybody three dice. Oh. Let's play Bonco. Okay, so how do we do this? What kind of nice? Are they these X? Yeah, well, just that's the fucking... Can I get two more D-6s? Can I get two more D's? I'm a lot. I only got the one. What? No, I gave you three dice.

No, you didn't? Yes, I did. Two of them, thanks. How do we do this? I actually don't know. I just know that you should roll. Basically, it's a competition to see how fast you can roll a bunch of 3D6. Okay. All right, go, guys.

Okay. No, uh, I just do you want to count them? I got a good team. Just go on them. Oh, you got three six. On Torbeck's first roll, while the dice goes into a crack in the floor and disappears. You hear her voice.

Thank you. I won. I won. I got three six. Oh, good job, Fester. I don't mean how it works. Is that how you win? I assumed it's the highest possible value. You know what?

No, I think it's to have a roll fast, right? Oh. Okay, I'm rolling faster than everybody. No, I think I win. I'm gonna roll faster than everybody. No, no, that's not how it works. That's not how it works. Yeah huh, yeah huh, yeah huh, yeah huh, yeah.

I don't like to see it annual. Yeah huh, yeah huh. We do this into the night. Okay. I don't go to sleep. Okay. I'll just do anything else. No.

I was gonna roll D6 as fast, or 3D6 as fast as I can. You'd say this is why you should never drink wine, ever. Or other substance. And don't do drugs and just play with your flour pad and be good. Ugh. Oh, I guess I'm rolling with my feet. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

For sure. And with that, you go to sleep, and you get a long rest, and you wake up in the morning. Hot dog. Hot dog. Nice. It's rolling three of the kind of any matching pair, I guess. Oh. Wait, this is a real thing?

Bunkum? Yeah, it's the thing of the people play, apparently. Oh. Yeah, and it's literally just making fun of Funko, Pops. Yeah. Well, that's how it started. Someone changes to Bunko, and I don't know. Incredible.

It's gone to La Lea's like that day. Our limbs returned. Yes. Oh, thank goodness. I'll be knocking at the door as I wake up. You are actually woken up by the opening of the door. People come in, some of the bullywugs come in, and they leave soup and bread next to each of your bed,

and a big steaming glass of what? It's coffee. They bring your coffee. Oh, thank goodness. That could have gone south right? You don't think. May you summon the Duke for us? It was the Earl.

Oh, the Duke. The Duke, please. I found one of his comics over here. All-Star Illig and the Froggy Force. What? That's very lame. We would like the steaming Duke, please.

Is that what you call this? It would taste it like steaming Duke. That was chiggery, but I guess not a... Torbeck thought this was Hot Jones. Where did steaming Duke come from? No, this isn't Hot Jones, and they don't have Hot Jones, unfortunately. How does anyone keep up with all of this? Unclear.

The bully-wug lets you know that the Duke will arrive when he is failed. when he is available, that he is busy currently. But he'll come up to you as soon as he can. Oh, thank you very much. Any concerns about our day? We have to unite a kingdom and then hope that we're not killed horribly by a egg, I guess. How does the rest of this day go so that we can progress and continue our mission to... Here's what we do.

What we need to get done done. We install these fellows with a whole... plan, prime minister, election, and all that. And then I think the king's going to be safe. I think it's unclear whether we've got to kill the Haganon. But it sounds like all we need is a little token

with some sort of herb drinking. Although he wasn't very prescriptive in exactly what he needs. It's got as to be anything. I mean, maybe it'll be obvious. It's one of those things we'll know when we see it off. No, no. My recollection was that it had to be representative or

perhaps even a focus of their power. So we're looking for something that represents her past, which... That's right. We gave away the book of grudges a while ago. I thought it was the present. Yeah, you imagined something like that would have been. Present. Perfect.

Yeah. We gave away the thing that probably would have done it. Oh. You guys remember when the king said shitter wins? I mean, winner shins? Yes, I did. That was crazy. I mean, the way that I said is that if we don't have to fight and kill a hag and potentially die in the process, I'd rather not.

But, you know, if we feel like she's going to fucking ruin our day and pissing our cereal, then I think maybe we... What are you laughing at you? Nothing. Please continue, Mr. Crimey. then, you know, maybe we just take care of it. You know what I mean? We agreed to meet her for dinner. Yeah, we missed that.

That was like three nights. Yeah, we missed, we missed. That days are flying by now. Unless we can steal. There's a flying by. Out from underneath her nose, we'll have a confrontation. I imagine she'll be somewhat wrathful. Well, what if we just, uh, false flag and pin it on the, uh, the, those guys that had to shop again?

Another false flag. Another false flag. We have that all set up already. Don't we don't they just have the books? No, that's what I'm saying. They'll probably executed already. I mean, they make me darned. Don't even sure the first false flag is done

and you want to start a second one? I mean, it's winning downfall. We may as well. I mean, this is the time and place for it. I'm getting real sick of your political science degree. I'm just saying, this is probably the only opportunity where it's going to be political machinations, okay? I mean, there's all, like, being outside this whole realm.

I think it's going to be nothing but politics. I mean, these guys are all about politics and the courts and such. I feel like this is the opportunity for us just get it, pin it on the darklings, and we fucking jet. You know what I mean? We meet up with Clapperclaw. We get his head back. We sail out on his boat. Oh, yeah.

his weight performances. He is. What is he? Poor fella! We have a lot to catch up. Poor little guy. He's just hanging out, waiting for us to do our thing

that we promised him. We're trying to mediate this deal as quickly as possible. I think it's a done deal. He's not to make sure that, you know, I understand he's making sure his interests are being seen to and protected. And so we're going to go.

We'll explain to the king what the plan is, and I'm sure the king will go along with it. And then we'll deal with the hag. I don't know what to tell you. I mean, why don't we take a vote? Speaking of democracy, there's a not a number of us. Who wants to fight and kill the hag? There's an even number of us.

Oh, nice. He wants to fight and kill the hag? Yeah. Hootzy. Twig? Oh, no, their votes don't count. This is a company. Hootsey will raise her ball.

No, Twig, you get a vote. Go on. No, that's okay. I don't have to have one. You get a vote. As long as you put your hand up, you get a vote. You just complicate it. Because it's, you know, it makes it uneven number.

But then we add a hootie. I'm thinking more of like sapien beings. Who is said sapiens? It's sapiens. I mean, she's kind of like a little critter, you know what I'm? I mean, she's my daughter. She has just a mind as you. especially

Gideon. Yeah, it brought me equivalent. Yeah, are you kidding me? She's a bull person. Who's the only part in the game and life?

If these blood-firsty frogs, if these blood-firsty frogs, get to have democracy and their voices matter and they are all about

public execution and heads on Parks and Hootie doesn't get a vote just because they have the ability to speak and Hootie doesn't a wise man in a robe once say the ability to speak does not make you intelligent. I did say that. We can't

possibly have transitioned our conversation from their democratic structure to just how we have conversations with each other. I think that's important. I'm sure. And as you are having this conversation, you begin to hear a sound off in the distance, the sounds

of trumpeting. trumpeting that you've heard before in the halls of the soggy court as it gets closer and closer and closer. You begin to hear rushing outside of the door as the bullywugs in this place seem very confused and uncomfortable. And eventually your door swings open and a bullywug is standing there shaking. The duke wants to see you. The king is here. Someone say Russians? What?

What? What? Fuck. Oh, no. I think you may have a referendum. I think it's a joke from another campaign. He's a Sylvie joke. The King, how serendipitous. Oh, this is gonna, I know how this looks like we may be plants, but this is a cool winky dink.

No, we explain the plan. Or otherwise, we will pull it. little prisoners and we get them all executed. What? That's a plan. What? That's a plan, bitch. Did you get to vote on that?

Can you even earn that? We have so many cases that's unbelievable. I fucking love it. Okay, we will go meet with you two. Right away. We got a blast. We got a blast.

Kill them all. They're all day. I got a whole figure out. I always have a plan B and a C. The gang murders everybody. Yeah. You make your way out of the room, and as you get to the head of the stairs, you see that the king is standing there in his courtly regalia. He has a crown held loft on his head, a large cloak pulled tightly around his neck.

You see that Snoodle is on a beautiful, delicate silver chain that's attached to a ring on the king's finger, and he holds a scepter in his other hand. he stands in the open door flanked by what appear to be guards that go back behind him for as far as the eye can see and Ilich is standing there in front of him they are staring each other down Illig's guards are all around this room but they do not have their weapons drawn though their eyes are do not move from their Duke as they watch his every move for any sign that they need to jump to action, as these two leaders of the different factions of downfall stare each other down, you hear Illig's voice. I'm sorry, my friends, my new friends, I might have been a little deceiving. Last night I sent a letter

to the king telling him I had you in captivity. It seems you truly are friends of the king, as he has come to your rescue. King, Gullop the 19th. Your friends are here, and they are in no danger from me. That's right. What to do? We had a conversation last night, and should you choose to hear us out,

I will do them no harm. Do we have a deal? He reaches his hand out towards the king. The king looks between all. of you. He, this is the first time you've ever seen him in such a kingly manner. And to the untrained eye, he would look like a king filled with power and determination. But you can see the flicker behind his eyes of fear. He is afraid, but he's here for you. No, no, no, it's all right. It's all right. What to do, Mr. King? Your grace or your

majesty, whatever he'd prefer. Snoodle. Looking mighty handsome. Um, all no, no, it's all right. to do. No, we figured all, we solved all your problems. We got a whole plan. We figured everything out. You don't have to worry about a thing. Do we have a deal? King Gallup, the 19th. Gullop steps forward, he looks at you, and he nods. He steps forward. He takes Ileg's hand and he shakes it. Illig clasps onto his hand tightly and he says, dismiss your guard. Oh, do you want to know what it is for us? the king let's go

and raises his hand and dismisses the guard the door is shut behind him you could hear the guards lining up around this place but none of them truly have eyes inside as he's led towards the center of the room

and once again that same table and the same chairs are moved around into the room and the king sits down at the table as if he were one of you he looks between all of you a little bit nervous You see that he looks down towards snoodle and he slowly pets him. His eyes are darting this way and that.

He is a king of Prismere and he knows that he has been the reigning king for longer than any other king in Prismere ever has. And this could be the day. But he trusts you. As his eyes dart back between each of you, Illig looks towards you and says, Join us at the table. We have political agreements to sign. and yes, you have your scroll, Kremi, McCrude?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And like this... Whoa! His horrible shadowy portal, Shadowfell opens up, and a scroll will be presented alternative to find a thing. And it will basically be a

kind of spooky, drafted version of what we discussed last night. A constitution. Goblets are placed around the table. The king is given a goblet that is far more elaborate than the rest, gems encrusted in it. It looks like it was more than likely taken from his private collection of treasures at some point down the line and somehow found its way here as one of the Bullywugs goes around behind each of you and fills up your goblets with more wine. All right, a toast then. To ending the resistance. distance, and to eventually new hope and downfall, should the agreements be to your liking, my king? And Eleg raises his glass of wine. Shall we drink? It's awfully early at the morning.

We just woke up. I try not to drink before noon. It's just a personal flaw. Would you disrespect me in my house, Cremely Lecoot? No, I know I won't. Then we shall drink, and he raises his gobbler. To our bank of us. tween checked for grassy no. And Illig quickly knocks back his goblet of wine and motions for the goblets to be refilled. And you all begin to communicate. At first, the king seems very unnerved.

But, and I guess the first thing I'll ask is, do you believe in the agreement that you've made with Illig for these plans for downfall? I hope so. Is this something that you, since you didn't RP them, is this something that you, as a group, are legitimately hoping the king will agree to and that this will be a path forward for downfall?

Or are you trying to deceive the king? That's a good looking at me, I don't want to speak for all, y'all. I would say, I mean, Torbeck would believe everything Mr. Krummi said without hesitation. He believes he trusts him. And then he was off put by the, you know, we can get them all killed as political prisoners thing.

But Torbeck is, Torbeck follows Mr. Crumby no matter what. I think Grico would have, I would have, like, thought about my political machinations. And I would think that if it's, if it's basically the idea of they get to eat, eat their cake and have it to, of keep, not do tons and tons of, like, cultural revolution, but still have a thing that allows to establish not a brutal dictatorship. That would be, Grico's like, well, it's the best we can do in the time we have. Yeah, it's all we got. And I would have cared when I wasn't playing humongous fungus with Twig, I would have

invested much in the tax policy. I feel that that's really short up. Perfect. I mean, Kremi definitely wants to have a useful political ally in one of the three realms of Prismere. And so he would want to

install a king that doesn't get killed in two or three days in case for whatever reason. He needs allies. And I think that he would have appointed Glob Blub as the Lord of Ships. Right. Glob Blub very handsomely. So that if they ever need a Navy,

they'll have something more than just the V-Swan boots. But what I would say, through your talks, you did devise with him a legitimate way to move forward that you believe would work. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I mean, legitimate elections for a prime minister. There'd be some sort of parliament, you know, whatever. I would like you, I would like you each to roll a check.

A persuasion check. Ooh, since we're not seen it. Nothing would matter for me. Oh, boy. I'm going to twist. You haven't been rolled it yet? I did. I'm going to twist a gap.

Torbeck. You got an 18, which is a total of 90. I'm going to roll a different D20. I haven't rolled a different D20. Torbeck's keeping is all. That's much better. Let's call that a 19. Turbeck's never been more charismatic.

Or persuasive. You're all the five. We all twist. Twist. All twist. Should I twist? I don't think. Torbeck has one more plus the current.

I twist it twice. I think we're looking for 15. I got a 21. Nice. Well, I think you're going to be okay. I got a, sorry, I lost my place again. Oh. Persuasion, I got an 18.

Kiddian? 16. Oh. The conversation takes three hours. There are lots of questions. And at first, the king is really uncomfortable. But your presence there makes him feel comfortable. The, you start off the conversation explaining how you even got into this position.

How twig was held captive and through the course of communication and understanding what Illig's wants were and how they didn't align, how they weren't far off from what the king wanted himself. You are able to get him to relax and become open to negotiation. And you are right. In most regards, the king is not malleable. He puts his foot down on some things. he will not be walked over because his end goal is the same,

the betterment of downfall. I'm surprised you wanted to keep prima knocked. A place for the people to have a home and to have lives that have meaning and hope. And with the idea that someday Bavlornah would not

rule over them the way that she does, this idea of a brighter future that they could build together with no more resistance and no more death is one that both of them seem to really enjoy. And though there is bickering and fighting and there are a few times where you have to keep the peace, after about three hours or so, you have come to an agreement on how things could and should work. A contract is signed.

Two of the guards from the royal guard are let into the house to bear witness to the king's signature, an illig signature as well, and all of you are expected to sign. as witnesses and as creators of this doctrine, of this peace treaty between the resistance and the crown. Yeah, provide the pen? Yes. I got a real nasty. And it is nice.

It is comfortable. And by midday, with all of the signatures provided with Kremi's pen, the king and Ilig are esther. escorted by guards both towards the castle to begin work on the changes that need to be made in downfall. You are invited to join, but given the pressing nature of your meeting with Bavlornah, I would assume that you decline. Okay, who'd she get your paw right? Oh, isn't that so nice? Oh, no, that's half in your own blood. Oh, it's so nice.

brown like owlbear. We have to sign it. I feel like I would walk up like John Hancock. Oh, there's not a whole lot of room to sign so I should probably sign small for everybody else. Grick-o's Green, Grand. This is historic.

I am proud to sign my name to this document and for a brighter future. If we are just calling it a document or a contract or a constitution, that's fine. But I have an alternative name if you are both open to it. They would nod, yeah. The Frogna Kroka. That was awful, Frosty. They seem to really like it and accept it. Oh, you're me best lad. Oh, it's great. Then I signed. Well, I mean, I guess we're gonna, I didn't know you're addressing isolationism.

Well, I guess I already signed. All right, everybody signed with a pen. And then we probably do decline, right? Yeah. With the signing, there is a moment where an artist from the castle does a quick drawing of all of you around the table having signed. And Illig and the king have found a comfortable, a comfortable. peace between them. Not a friendship, but it does look like one could blossom as they leave together towards the castle to begin this new age of downfall. You are left in the house of the resistance. It is completely empty, all but the six of you. And Hootsie. This podcast is brought to you

by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Shrout over Saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crooked Moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. And be careful for the roving toad murderer that's that isn't us. Nice. Nice. Oh, finally got a good Aleeby. Okay. Well, I can't believe we wrapped out that entire

decades-long political conflict in about a three-hour musical extravaganza that pays homage to the classic while, you know, doing a little bit of, you know, new, uh, bobs for the kids. I still have a little soup and bread left. Oh, wow. That's, that was shockingly, uh, effective. Do you think your snail's okay? Your snail is tied up outside and it's been very well-pended. Snail number two.

Oh, I missed you. Who's he missed you? Like, glub the gup of ghoul. I can't believe that worked. I mean, we really put in a lot of work. You know how much fucking food I cooked to make all that happen? And obviously you wrote a whole opera in like 15 minutes.

That's pretty impressive, too. And 12 hours of political debate is all it really took. Yeah. I mean, it's not like it was effortless, Cricko. Yeah. Still, though. I mean, that worked out. Like, usually when we try things, things go south real quick.

You know what I mean? Like, just everything goes wrong. And that was, like, shockingly effective. Yeah, and usually it's small stuff. And here we are, just a couple of strangers rolled into a kingdom and fixed all its political problems in, like, 12 hours. I can't possibly go wrong. You're right, Gideon.

That's status of logic. It can't go wrong at all. Indeed. Well, based on the nature of the contract, I mean, what was it called? The Frogna. The Frogna Croca. The Frogna Croca. The blood that it was signed in, the pen that was used. I think that might be a little chemical X in the equation.

But we'll see what happens. I feel secure in our decision because of the horrible magics involved. Torbeck is optimistic. And Uncle Globo said I would. never use my degree for anything. Ah, ha. Go to show you, Uncle Globo. You know, Ricko, I will admit,

having an educated point of view at the table really made a big difference. Yeah, well, that was it. That's the last time. I'll be relevantly useful. I guess the bit has run its course. Yeah, I'll think so. I think so.

I can't imagine the other two parts of Prismore are as politically minded as this one. I'm like digging my finger into my ear. But we haven't had our actual vote. We were interrupted by the Stephen Dooky. It was pretty funny. What were we going to vote about? That brown liquid we drank this morning.

Whether we're going to kill a hag or we're going to attempt to sneak. Oh. I don't even necessarily mean sneak. I mean, like maybe we just say, hey, can we get, I don't know, that thing over there? Yeah, sure. That's a surprisingly good impression, Grammy. That was really good. Where did we leave off the voting?

Well, I came to a decision right as the bugle started playing. But Hootsie can have a vote, but she'll be the tiebreaker. How does that sound? We may not need a tiebreaker. Hootie. I think that is just far. What do you think? I'm glad you agree.

Here, here's your flock pad. It is at this time that you hear thump, thump, thump, thump. It comes at random intervals, and it takes a moment for you to realize that it's coming from the wooden stairs. As you all turn your heads, you see a crystal orb rolling down the stairs. With every hit of the stairs, thump, thump, thump, thump. and it rolls across the floor and softly hits against your foot, it's crummy, and then bounces backwards.

If you look down at it, it's beautiful. Looking into it, you can see the light refracting through it and casting an array of rainbows out across the floor. What the foot? Hello? Hey, guys, what's this? That's a ball! You grab it?

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't even hesitate. I'd be like, hey, what's this? Dermic. You grab it, Darbock? Yeah, Turvick will pick it up. You pick it up and you feel the orb, what feels like a glass or a gemstone,

for just a second before it becomes malleable and then pops like a bubble. And you watch as the little tiny bubbles burst forward from it and spread out all around you. And then you hear a voice. fill the room. I was unsure of whether you would fight or whether you would try to take the political route. I'm glad to know you're smarter than you look, so your king has a present for you. Drink this glass of wine when you need it the most. Bottle of wine when you need it the most.

There's a glass for each of you. But remember, once it's uncorked, It expires in 24 hours, so use it wisely, my lads. I'll be watching you. You feel something up against your foot, crummy, where that orb had been. There is now a bottle of wine, a label on it that is ornate and shimmers in the light. It is topped with a chess piece, which is a king. King of Hearts Royal Reserve Whimsy wine

As you hold this You can feel the magic in this wine You can feel the way the magic thrums Through the glass And You guys don't really deal with Identification So for all intents and purposes

The label on the back tells you It's got 9774 energy Cays of energy. I'm kidding. That's just what it says on the candies. The label's coming off. It just says Charles Sean. What you see is that there is clearly enough for five cups, five glasses of wine. One for each of you. Once opened, the liquid inside will expire within 24 hours. One glass of wine does a few things for you. You get plus five to all persuasion checks,

deception checks, and insight checks. for 24 hours. Once a day, you have the ability to erase the mind by 10 minutes and redo what you've done by simply blowing a bubble

in the person's face. So basically, you drink the wine and you can blow bubbles. If you blow a bubble into somebody's face and it pops, it's the effect of like the mind blank spell,

but it erases 10 minutes of their memory. We're going to read it. So you could potentially fuck someone. something up and redo the past 10 minutes. We each get that? After we drank the wine, but we did it in 24 periods.

25 uses of it. Oh. 25 uses? It's five bottles of wine. No, it's one bottle of wine with five cups in it. Oh, we each get one drink. Oh, no. He's still drunk from the benefits of that.

He's seeing fives. I'm sorry. I had too much steaming duke. Torre is going to be in the bar? at the bar and be like, hey, did you know this song was in Tony Hawk Pro Skater? Wait, wait, wait, wait, let me try that again. See? I'm serious.

That's pretty sure. That's a very good, horrible magical artifacts. I mean, this is a vintage. Look at this. This is some good stuff. You got to keep this safe. I don't know where to keep it. I have my backpack.

No, I don't even know what's in there. Back, pack, backpack. Back, pack, backpack. Do I have a bag of hole in? Yeah, you guys do. Oh, I'll just put it in the bag of hole in. Wait, you have a bag of holding? Here it goes.

It immediately explodes. Why am I carrying 175 pounds of backpack if you have a bag of fucking holding for me? Because you read about to back so you have photos got them on. And you can't fucking drop it from it from. All right. You won't fucking give it up. Give it a game. I mean, I don't know.

You thought you spell. I throw away a bell. I mean, I don't know what any of that is. I need you guys to roll a D12. All of us or is one of us. Yeah, like he said, the wine lasts for 24 hours. I've given you a break. General body for 11.

11. Oh. I need you each to roll a D6. Oh, that was just whoever got to it first. Six. Five. One, four, two. Perfect.

Yeah. Your voice immediately changes. You now speak with a German accent. Oh, yeah. Dormack can do these. Agriko, what did you get? Five. Your voice changes.

You now speak with a Scottish accent. The cross? McHagas! Your voice changes. You now speak with a Valley Girl or Surfer accent. Oh my God. Yes. Crummy?

Two. You now speak with an Eastern European accent. And Gideon? Take it easy. Four. You now speak with an Irish accent. Oh. Oh, but they don't.

No, you don't see. What's up of the morning? Crimin, you can't just say that somebody red follows. to monsters and then like assume that that's the only reason why they kept a character decision like that. All right, let's like gag me with a spoon, okay? This does make me gag me with spoon, but just the character choice to do that is I'm holding a in here. Oh, my lips.

Well, you know, I guess. I guess. I was like. There we go. This is sort of kind of... Now that it's more sort of just you're near, but kind of like this. It's really hot.

How about we... How about we today? Thank you for the skeleton. You're like, how are you doing? This is easy. Torr, that's the top like Lufty. I have to work on top like Lufty. You have to go to Jamon and listen to some craft.

Yeah. Oh, we been. We coo. You just have to be Momon Brigitte. The Red Q. Use these cows. We chase. Are we the same person?

You are the same person. You're just speaking with a different voice. Toramek still can't say anything other than Tolbeck. Why does everyone sound so difficult? Oh my God. Why does my vocabulary change? all of a sudden. It's just the way that we're talking

and expressing ourselves, okay? It is drugs? I think it might be the wine. It's got like lingering waves, you know? I don't know. I'm going back and forth now. It's good. It's good. We still need to vote.

Yes? Oh, I should probably apologize. Yes. Can the rest you use me? Gideon, what would you like for breakfast in the morning? Oh, top of the morning. Thank you for that.

It's not like a... Oh, you're a little thing. It's a wee little shake. It's the only really thing I can see in Irish. Oh! It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. Thank you.

What are we voting on... I think Ginnia's going to start talking about his charms. No, no. Don't you. You come out after me like your charms. Why would you even bring it up, Frostb? No. Now, what would you be doing to love you charms?

I'm not even talking about me looking charms. Oh, gosh. I can't even remember. Why are you after my looky charms? No, don't know. Why are you after me all this charge? Huggis. Huggis.

A sword for it. Only 24 meters. We don't have to talk to vote, okay? We don't have to talk to them. All we have to do is just put our hands and our thumbs up in one direction or down, okay? So do we not kill Hague and just steal or perhaps not? steal?

I just don't even know if it's possible, all right? Raise hand. Oh, raise hand for what? Which one? You said them both? I mean, this is the not kill option. I don't know what you're trying to do. Do we...

Do we shoot to kill or do we negotiate? This is what I ask. I'll kill to shoot. I think we marry her out back like a filthy fucking trauma thing. Of course you would say that. Of course. So, giddy it.

Okay? No. This sounds fun. I could be convinced. Now, hold on. Hey, boomers. Hey, boomers. Hey, boomers.

Do you get that reference? No, nobody gets it. I got it. Now, if we're half and half, can we do it? You know? With a coup. It is one vote or another vote.

There is no middle option. Do we fight and kill? Or do we talk and barter and steal? I propose we barter steel. Because if we get away with it, we don't have to kill anyone. If not, then we fight. Okay? We did all this work to...

On top of the morning. We did all this work to... We just need to unlock it for a second. I don't know what the fuck I was doing there. But we don't know all this work. To start a democratic, whatever the hell you called it here. And now you want to go up and leave the hag, and she's just going to come in and fuck everything up,

put everyone under spells and run everything, not even from the shadows. That's fine. That's fine. We just fucking kill her. I don't get it. I think I agree. I want to know what this is so bad. Oh, whale oil be fucked.

I don't know. I don't read the game. Whale be foiled hooked. Well, it would be fucked. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That is very funny. I choose murder.

What? Murder. Is this the official count? Count? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't say we go straight for murder. That's what you're asking me to vote on. I cannot.

Becky, look at my fucking lens. Gricko, I don't even want to look at you. Where does me scotch? I don't even want to look at you right now, okay? Twig, what is it that you need to think? Okay. Hold on. Twig's headline.

I don't like these curses today. Can we go back to the old ones? I'm not sure. I don't really know if we should kill him or not. English accent, it doesn't work. Stop, man, do these go back to New Jersey? These good so far? What do you think?

I don't think we should kill anybody. It's going to get me. Thank you. You're like my first time. Okay. This is one vote. I had to, I'm not, I'm voting down. No, you've been saying that Twigs' vote doesn't count the whole time.

No, that sounds crazy to me. Six votes plus who's the piebreaker. It's four seven. Well, I say we kill the bitch. I agree. I agree. Torbeck does not want the... Fuck!

I can't do this while you guys are all doing your reaction. I wanted you Russian so bad that I can't stay in the jury. Why I told Kelsey all the time in... I meant and just shut up. The difficulty is when I'm playing Rico but talking differently, it fries my brain. I can't do the... I need to have a character that has the accent,

or I can't do it. I'm completely out of it. Or I can't do it. It's impossible for me to not use I, like, when I'm trying to do a different accent. It's like, nuts, I can't do it. I need to build a character that has the accent. Yeah.

Without speaking. maybe do this to kill and this to not kill yeah you're still killed I think we may kill it's gonna be this hit hitter

this is Thai this is die it is up to you chosen one we hootzy why choose violence today just like don't even choose it

Just be cool, Lucy. Just like come over here and like chill and we'll all gonna have like a great tongue and then I'll give you a treat Putsi will blank. I feel we've got a roll for those. Yeah, I was gonna ask how you were gonna solve it. Oh, a D-2. A coin. All right, what did she say? What is he said? What is head? Flypad.

Flip a coin. You have my payment information. No! His e-books! Oh! I'm fucked! We're gonna, so one will be peace and two will be murder. One is peace.

Wow, they're supposed to catch it. Oh, well. Well, that's how we decided to do it. That was it. Peace. You did a try for peace. I'm cool with this. How does Hootzie, like, say that?

She'll look up. Roll for her accent. Oh, okay. What do we have? D-sex 3. He gets French and just goes... No way. She's English-class British.

Oh. She just break up. It sounds like you're dead. It's appropriate. I think it would be sad to murder, isn't it? Okay. That's what I'm going to say. I liked for peace.

See, I always knew you were. cool. That is so cool. It is Ray Taylor. A big gong playing somewhere. There's a Neil Pier jump solo as we walk out. What is that coming from? And just as

quickly as the gong plays, you feel your tongues lighten and your voices return to normal. I'm just saying that if we have to like, I don't even want to think about killing that girl. That egg

just gagged me with a spoon. That doesn't gag me with a spoon that's not the same

way. However, you all feel pain on your body. And as you move this way or

that, your clothes rub up against your skin and it's just irritating. As you

roll up your sleeves, you realize that you all have a horrible sunburn and you

find no relief. Does anyone else feel that fucking sunburned? Oh, yeah. How did either of us get a sunburn? I don't know, man. I don't even know I could be burned. Oh, let's get on to snail number two.

No, it'll move too fast. It'll hurt. Snail number two. Better than walking. Does they want to have aloe? Yeah, please apply aloe to tormack. You have to get under all the folds and fur. Furn, quickly! I would do it, but the front of my hands are somehow sunburned, too.

I can see the feeling already happening. Oh, how did Torbeck's islands get sunburned? Oh! Oh, gosh, this is the worst day we've ever had. This is my nightman. I have to get worse. We're in the swamp. We're in the swamp. How to get happened?

Hold on. Hold on, okay, snail the two. And the problem is that in this moment, though you have these horrible sunburns and you can find no relief, you feel the need to dance. I should pop this, right? I'm gonna dance on down in the swamp.

It's only you. And that happens for about 30 minutes where you are dancing and covered in sunburns, but eventually it starts to wear off. And you feel like the wine that you had drank the night before has fully started to wear off. The wine you drank this morning, however, is still firmly in your system.

It's all so physical today. Well, before the next wave of, wine kicks in. And it starts to. Because your ears become incredibly large and everything is very, very loud. Don't worry. You're almost out of them. You have one final one that I'm hoping on to.

I can so hear the trumpets of the king and the... Ah! Ah! Oh! Shut up! There he goes! Stop sharing the pain! Oh! Shut up! I'll talk very quietly.

Just very quiet now. Talk like stage whispered them because we're still talking with the microphone. Talk like one. Stayed whisper. I can do that. Okay. Just, ah, it hurts. Stop screaming at the top of your lungs.

Stop fishing. Oh, but it hurts. I don't know how to do anything but scream. Everyone just be fine. Just be cool. It's fine. I step on a twig. Oh, my God.

Twig screams if you step on her. Oh, no. What's a different thing? Oh, God, how much do we have to drink last night? Oh, God, twig your bone snapped really loudly. Are you okay? You got a compound fraction? I don't think I'm ever going to be okay.

Oh, gosh. Torbeck begins to scream and rip out chunks of fur to try to stuff in his ears. Oh! Doesn't anybody know it's silence? You don't let's throw that through. We have to be quiet. Oh!

Very quiet. Rico, shut the fuck up. Oh, what? Stop screaming. Ah! It hurts. Oh, Twig, you look like you're in the end of no country for old men. Are you sure you're okay?

Or is it going to be ambiguous, whether you make it or not. I don't even know what them. I don't even know what that means. Let's get on a snail, all right? And the snail goes real slow, right? Yeah, yeah. The snail won't be, we won't make a single sound. Snails don't make any sounds.

Good job. It is a loud, slurping, juicy, sliding noise as the snail just slides across the ground. There are occasions where there's clearly something stuck to the bottom of the snail as it scrapes over slate rocks and it's like nails on the chalkboard as it just grinds and slides and slides. and it's horrible, and it's this way for a good 20 minutes before your ears return to normal, and you can hear just fine. All right.

We had to get that boat back like two days ago. Let's let's move for this in challenge. Child's just a late fee, you know what I mean? Torvix starting to understand Mr. Crummy's rule about not drinking before noon. Yeah, me too.

Oh, God. At least nothing with drugs in it, all right? Okay, get him. Stop pat him. Wait, you're going back the other way to the boat to go where? I actually didn't know physically where we've been hitting. I've just been in a nightmare of hell. We've got to get the guy's boat back, don't we?

Oh, that's right. We've got other things to do. If we're meeting Babylon or tonight, I guess I don't know, we don't have time, do we? You guys want to figure out what your plan is. Where are we right now? So you had been, do you have your map? Because I don't have the map anymore.

But the two maps were on top of your thing. I know that they were there. No, they weren't. They weren't. I swear that they were there. They weren't. I promise. I understand what you're saying.

I am telling you that they were. I understand the words you're choosing. I do understand what you are saying. But no, that is not the truth. Okay. I will find the map in here of hither itself. Okay. So, well, that's hither.

I need downfall specifically. Map of downfall. I think our fingernails are going to reverse next. This is the palace. This is where you had left the boat. This is where you met the King of Hearts. This is the mushroom forest. You had headed this way.

This is where you killed Vlonk. This is the house you were currently in. And this was the tower where you were supposed to take the line up to Babylon. Oh, we don't do that. We don't do that. So you have gone out from. and traveled all the way up here to the boat. Oh.

No. No, no, we don't. I assume we were finishing the clockwise radiation. You started here. It's pronounced. This is what you have done. So you are at the very end of where you came in. Okay, can we be there? No. No, no.

No, no. We turned around? We go to that, wherever we feel like we're going to go up to the top. So you come outside and you take the snail all the way back here and just retrace yourself? No, no, we don't. We go the other way. We go northwest. We go northwest. We just say, fuck that, guys.

You go northeast. You go here and that? Yes. We say, fuck that God's boat. So what are your plans? I'm assuming you're going to make plans on the way, because you know that the invitation that you'd had was giving you a ride up to Bavlornas Cottage

at that particular time. You no longer meet those time requirements. So I'm assuming, as you ride the snail to this tower, that you will plan? We're morphing faster than Akira right now. There's no way for us to make any plans. Our bodies are changing so graphically. It's out!

They grow mouths and teeth. I'm just like covered in scar tissue. I'm like, uncrossed my mouth. It's been like sealed shut. I think we should call for another bug. Do you remember bug? Yeah, the bug would give the letter if we yank on the cord hard enough. Oh.

It might come down and we could say, hey, could we hang out later than night? You know what I mean? No pressure. Or we get the attention of Vavlornna and she sends down a bomb. Does she have those? I don't know what she has. Surely there must be some way to communicate. I want to look over to the other side of the swamp.

Could I see the big storm cloud? balloon? It's still there? Yep. Yeah. I guess the false flag that didn't work or it hasn't happened yet. Maybe we need to let him know. Oh.

That's good, I think. Do we want to want to yank on the cold and see what happens? Well, we know that we... I mean, I think we impressed it with the plate. And I think that your whole ruse about, you know... Scabuff. Put it on a sister she probably liked. So I think we, uh,

You know, I think we just talk to them. She dislikes her sisters. We know that, yes? Yeah. We know she doesn't like her sisters, and we know that she can return something that was lost to us. We tell her that we lost time, that we were projected forward in time,

and that we very much disliked losing time to the future. Yes? That's a good idea. That we prefer to stay in the present. Oh, should we find it? that seat of it was in a cage. I mean, who knows where the hell that guy is? We haven't even heard anything about what this fucking guy is.

Yeah, I just feel like a lot of our visions have come true. Not all. I mean, not most of them, right? I mean, the king of the Bully Jugs. I mean, yeah, that was one. And the heads on the parks. That was two. And what else?

They all related the downfall, didn't it? Well, didn't the King of Hearts one maybe be just wrong? Well, nah. Oh man. I can't remember. There's a Sater somewhere and he's very sad in the cage. I thought he's in the hut. Maybe that's metaphorable.

Maybe the Sater is like the king's soul and he feels trapped by tradition and obligation. Or we're all the Sater, bogged down by the society than we live in. That's right. And consumerism is a gilded cage and makes his feel good of about ourselves, but really deep down, we're trapped, just like the rest of them. Oh, and that's got to the cage. Hello. It's not even there.

Please, I'm very hungry. And wait, if that was true, then that means that the lives that others project is actually more of a mask than the true sorrow and struggles that they deal with, and it's only what they choose to present to others, living a glamorous and perfect lifestyle. Wow. yank the, I'm going to yank the thing.

Does it isn't one of an objection? We're not going to kill her. We agreed. No, no. We're going to talk to him. Yeah, we're going to see what kind of deal she wants to cut us. Agreed. Let's just have a conversation. That's what I'm saying. We just get a bug and say, hey, bug. Let's get dinner. And we all feel very confident that the wine is out of our system.

So I'll just go ahead and yank it now. Okay, frozen. Great. So you are making your way to the tower. to the platform where we know that there's the connection to the... North-east, I believe. North-week soon is the direction that we're headed on. A 10-foot-high, raised wooden platform stands atop a mound of mossy earth and mud.

Two Bullywugs lays at their guardpost atop the platform, occasionally peering through a long spyglass mounted on a swivel. A frayed clothes line attached to one corner of the watchtowers festooned with patchwork garments. The line stretches out. towards the nearby lake before disappearing up and into the fog. Officer, officer. Hello there. We certainly aren't had. All hungover. No, no.

Hello. Welcome to the Watchtower. I'm Watchtower Wendell and this is Watchtower, Willie. Wendell. Wendell, Watchtower, I got to double for you, get a warrant, knock. Oh, wow. We're good. Torbeck's name is Torbeck. Sometimes Rebel and other times, what's that smell? Good to meet you. What is that smell? It's horrible.

It's Torbeck. Oh, well, you should bottle it up and sell it. Oh, what? It is a scent unlike any of the smell in my life. Oh, de toilette. New Enterprise. Oh, de Taubeck. I thought it was a job.

Dobeck. why wouldn't it mean a joke? What he means is that it would be like a prank gift that you would be able to give to someone to horrify them and they'd probably actually make a lot of money. The one of those junkies that tastes like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it tastes like puke or barn. Wait, wait, why do those exist?

I don't know. For cillies, for fuzzis. So, Rilly and Wendell, how are you doing today? Well, we're doing just fine. It was looking out of a downfall, making sure everything is going as it should. You see anything cool out of that spotlight? Not really.

Oh. It's quite boring. Any serial killers and the cut of roots of kings and nothing? No. Oh, we did see something interesting today. The king in a procession with resistance. Oh, yes, we helped mediate that. We were good ombudsman.

We don't expect him to be long for this one. May he rest in peace? No, no, no, no. They signed a constitution. They're agreed. They're lined now. You are the ones that got the king killed. Are you to be the new gentry?

No, no, no. No, we got the king's mount killed. Not the king killed. No, they've killed the king's mount first. No, we did. We killed the king's mount. You killed the king. We killed it.

No, not the king. The king isn't dead and the king is not going to die. Well, he was walking with a resistance. Yes, yes, because they're aligned now. There is no resistance. There's just whatever the opposite of resistance is. You know what I'm saying? Bill's acceptance.

Yeah, that's the final stage of grief. Grief? Grief. Grief? Grief. You keep saying grief. Do I want to keep saying grief? Sounds like grief.

I'm saying grief. No, I'm not saying grief. No, I'm not saying grief. Torment here's grief. I mean, you're saying the same work. I'm saying, no, I'm not saying grief. I'm saying grief. Yeah, you're saying grief.

Can you hear the trumpets? Yes, we heard the trumpets. That's what alerted us to what they were doing over there. And that's how we saw the procession. It was like, bo-p-p-p-poh-poh-pah-pah-pah-pah. The king is not going to be murdered. That is obviously a very cheerful sign of alignment.

and allies and happiness. That's not even how the trumpet sounded. It was much more like, and then the off started to walk forward, but he says it in his accent. Both of those tunes means friends. I'm not sure that's what that means. It means friends.

You're silly, kitty cat. I am a silly kitty cat. Frosty, I don't think that medieval-styled, a herald trumpet have that sort of range. Am I allowed to say silly pussy? on Twitch. I'm sorry, what?

Silly puss. Just one more time. Silly puss. I guess we'll find out. Well, we're trying to yank on the cord, if you know what I mean, Willie.

I'm not yanking your Wendell, Willie. Oh, yanking your Willie Wendell. We're trying to yank that Willie Wendell. Which one of us are you driving to Wendell? Goodness, Rick. See that?

wobbling cold, we're trying to yank on the wobble. Yeah, we're not yanking your team. Why on earth would you want to yank on the wobble? Stop, stop. Torbeck is feeling things. We are trying

to hang out with a bug. I was just saying. Well, that's fine. Jeremy, the cicada, it's just hanging around the... Jeremy, you have... Fuck you guys.

Fuck you guys. Fuck you guys. You're going to drink of hell. Today. What is the house? Hey, Jeremy, you remember us? That was a grass. I remember you a fucking ugly face of it. Jeremy, what's wrong?

You someone will go on the wrong side of their own shed exoskeleton? Now my wife left me. Oh, that's terrible. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Jeremy. You know, we were just talking about the acceptance is the final stage of grieving. Except this. why do you play a jaunty tune on your fiddle fucking injures

dagger so he plays it and it plays a mini version of the jumping angle Jeremy really seems to be going through some stuff he's embarrassed yeah but that's not our problem to a bit

I feel like we need to go on a whole side story to help out Jeremy and that won't get his move back well it looks like you've had your meeting with a bug? No, no, there's another bug that lives up there. Are you talking about bug Lorna? Oh,

the bug has name. Bug Lorna? Yeah, that's exactly who we're talking about. Oh. Wendell be serious. Okay. That line leads to that Larnas' poems, correct?

Yes. We want to yank on it to get her attention so that she might send us a message house and not at the door. What we're trying to do right now? He goes a gondola. Why didn't you say so?

And he goes over to the corner and he begins to pull on a rope and you see this very large bucket. Oh my God. With a hatch door that opens up and both him and Willie fumble with the bucket for a little spot.

Yeah, okay, Wendell. this. Together, Willie. They're playing a bit of fumble bucket. Remember the last time I've played fumble bucket. A best of bucket.

All right. And Wendell. Lily and Wendell play Fumble bucket, and they attach the bucket to the line. Just in broad daylight, too.

Run the fumblebug in it. Oh, man. Oh, God. The rest of the gang is like, it's like, it's like one person's face next to all courtesy, making his horrible faces, and then he gets a turtank, and he's like, I'm covering his eyes.

You see that Grigo, fumble bucket. No adventurous. But they place a bucket to the line, and, well, if you just, if you want to go see Bugglona, and just simply get into the bucket, and ride it on up. Oh, have you seen a Seder in a cage?

No. He's really stuck on a Have you seen a metaphorical Sater in a metaphorical cage? No. Can you see a metaphor? No. Can you look through your spyglass

for Bricko and see if you find a Sater trapped in a cage right now? Or like a Jack of the Rippo stabby guy. He looks through and spins it around looking all about no Sater. What about you, Willie? Willie looks and finds nothing.

Is that satisfactory? I suppose. Would you like to look in my spy glass? Oh, no. I mean, I've never looked through a big spark glass. By all me, stuff up. No, I handled such a big spike glass. Okay.

Only two hands. Oh, she's a two-hander. Oh, wow, I can barely get my heads around it. Take my laugh Be careful, Gregor, don't drop it. Roll a Perception. Oh, please.

An advantage because you were using a spyglass. No great. You see a sater in a cage, water world style. Just thinking it's cool of play. You see a sater in a cage, but it's not the type of cage you would expect.

You're looking, it looks like you're at the Renaissance Fair. Oh. You should tell that story. The enjoyment of all. Oh, God. Wait a minute. Oh, I see a cage.

Oh, there's hair in it. Oh, it's a say to it. What's wrong, Greg? Dales, what's happening? Describe the feet. Oh, it's... I'm insane. I'm enjoying it.

It looks like... It sounds like you're being... ...way now. Is it over? Is it ever over, Frosty? Did you... Did you find the Seder? I don't know what I found.

I'm not having, neither do we. That's why we're asking. Perhaps a tale for another day. There are no gods here. I believe that the Seder was a metaphor. The cage representing our endless desire for more beyond our means. The horns representing the words representing the way. weight of our avarice,

straining our necks with the endless hunger for that what others have. Until we receive it, it turns to ash in our mouths. And the goat legs? It was just goat legs. There's nothing better forgo about that.

It's disappointing. Everything else was so poetic. It's just goat legs. I think just, you know, that's kind of cool. goat legs. It's pretty cool. Goal goat. Not my

eagle. Cowardee. The influence that Satan has on our civilization. You remember Satan. You've had a bartender that we ended up in doing. Oh, Satan?

Yeah. If there were gods, they are dead and we have killed them. For our own hubris, we have reached for the zenith of Olympus. And upon wax wings, we crash into the sea of misery and self-destruction, swallowed by the Leviathens of shame and self-loving. Well, that's some beautiful poetry there. Willie, shut up.

The single blood of tears. Tours from Grico's eye. Or it just meant that, oh, there's a silly little fairy guy. I never got a fly about it. You never know. You never know. Anyway, thanks for calling the bucket. We're going to go talk to Bucklerona.

All right. Well, I hope you have a great time. Make sure you don't go too quickly or you'll fray the line and drop to your doom. Oh, how do we drive this thing? Well, you just pull on the rope. Oh, manual. I hope you have a lot of arm strength. We have Gideon.

We have a Gideon. Yeah, I can work for us. You look like you're very warm. Well, this is probably the sunburn combined with me being made of fire, partly. Don't you worry that you will burn the rope with your fire hands? Well, I didn't worry about that, but now that you've alluded to it, it's making me kind of worried.

His touch is a bat. It isn't hurt. Oh, yeah, I can control it. Would you like me to touch you and confirm? Not in a sexual way. Oh. Would I interest you in a game of fumble? No.

Toro records to play. If it's not in a sexual way, you don't bother. Well, if you insist. Sure. Touch my palms or something. Tell me. He lightly touches your... Oh, you are quite spicy.

Oh, thank you. I don't think you'll warm enough to burn. the rope. Oh, perfect. Torback next. The funny thing about Torbeck's palms is they're on his butt cheeks. Oh, all right, and he reaches down, he touches quite, quite slimy for a furry fellow. Slimy? Have you ever heard the myth that when you masturbate your hands, your palms get furry? I have heard that once or twice. Because then I look at Torbeck. That Torback was never convinced.

Dead. Oh, they had a hung jury. And they was right. After they saw the evidence, the fucking bucket. The fucking bucket. And you get into it.

And you begin to, you begin to pull your way up. It is difficult. You are carrying the weight of all of your friends. And this, and this rope is long and thick. And frayed and hairy with the threads of the rope.

God, God. As you grip it and tug, one tug after the next. It's kind of familiar. You pull your friends to the tip. Just hand over hand, Gideon. A lot of big gross. I haven't had to use two hands in the one mouth.

Ouch. Make sure you don't get rope, but careful. Quit squirming. They're slipping the bumble bucket. Easy, easy, easy. It's chill. Wine lacks. I was just taking the view.

Thanks, good. If a gross bug comes, say hello. I look for gross bugs. And eventually, eventually. Eventually. Eventually. Eventually. Eventually.

Eventually, you are able to make your way up through the fog, and you find yourself on a floating mound that seems like it's held aloft by these posts and these tight ropes. but how the physics of it all works is beyond you. This is the Faye Wild, so it is as it is. And you are able to pull yourself up to one of the posts and dismount as your feet sink into the soggy, wet ground at your feet. And in front of you is a large, thatched hut,

much larger than any of the others that you have seen in this place. There are multiple floors and twists, and turns, this place looks like something out of a Tim Burton film. And you stare at it for a while. The porch calls to you.

The creaking of the wood and the door lightly swinging on its hinges, the screen door, lightly swinging on its hinges. Cremie, it actually reminds you of some of the houses you would have seen in the swamps around Dogway. Parts of it consumed by murky

swamp water. And as you look over the edge, you get out of the bucket, and it quickly zips back down towards Willie and Wendell. You imagine they're both dead now. Jeremy. But you watch as the bucket disappears into the fog, and you look down, it feels like you are surrounded by a sea. of clouds.

Oh. And if you were to suspend your disbelief, you would imagine that you could step off of this platform and find solid ground, but you know that's not true. That you are held aloft in the sky here. But your attention

turns back to the house itself. And it is dark at this point. It's early evening, but being surrounded by the fog as you are, it is significantly less light is hitting this place than you would expect.

And inside, you see the flickering of candlelight in windows all over the place. A soft orange glow. Anyone else ever felt the call of the void? Hmm? What? It was one of us like, man, want to be fun just to like step out onto that sea of clouds. you know that you'd probably die, but kind of a cool way to go out, you know what I mean?

Just your lizard brain talking. Yeah, I guess so. I've never felt that at all. Did people actually feel that? Does that actually have a name? Call of the Void? That's what I always called it. No, it just looks surprisingly tranquil to me.

It's quite calm. Yeah, it's a whole sea of clouds up here. It looks like it's just us, the sky, and a gross hut behind us. Nobody else. It's almost tranquil. Tranquil. What? Tranquil.

You're all right. One of these days, I think we're just going to have to go through all the worst. When I did my slam poetry about tranquility, you didn't correct me then? Well, I had the whole face. You seem so proud. I appreciate you, Frusty. All right. I always faulted the call of the void.

It was like when you make a call on one of your Rocky Talkies and just goes, Burr-Ber-Bah-Bah-Bah-Bah. Oh, I've heard that one. And you're like, oh, wow. This sounds like I'm calling the board. That's what I thought that calling the board was. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's surprising.

It doesn't need to go that hard, but it does, you know? It does, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, let's go inside. Open the door. You make your way to the dilapidated porch that surrounds the front of this house, and the loud creaking of the wood erupts out around you,

almost shockingly loud up this high as it echoes out over the rest of downfall, but you imagine that, That sound is relegated just to the spot that you're in, that the fog would muffle it, and that no one in downfall would hear a thing. And maybe even that no one inside would hear a thing. As you move the screen door to the side, the loud creaking makes you jump for a second. This is unlike any place that you've been in Prismere so far.

There's a sense of dread in this place. Oh. A feeling of something dark. dark, something that you haven't felt in any other place that you've been to here. Nothing that you felt the Witchlight Carnival, your experience so far with the Faye has been something of beauty and whimsy. And there have been things that have been questionable morally, but nothing has felt like this. And as you open the door, you feel the warm air rush towards you.

and you can feel the stink of the fetid swamp, much more strong than even the scent that you felt when you first got here, almost as if the swamp itself is decaying inside of this place. You can hear the noises of the wood. It sounds almost like it's expanding and contracting with the liquid, with the water of the swamp inside of it. All of the noises sound louder and yet quiet, at the same time. The smells

pungent. But not enough to turn your stomach, at least not just yet. As you stare into the room ahead of you, having been in houses before, you would expect this room to be a living room. You'd expect this room to be a place of rest and relaxation,

maybe something like you saw in twigs and twigs in. But what meets your eye is not what you would expect. What you see. It's a recessed pool lined with moldy clay tiles that takes up most of this large square room. Stagnant water fills the depression to a depth of one foot. Rising from the pool's center is the head of a stone well that gives off an unpleasant pungent odor.

In one corner of the pool stands a tall, dirty, freestanding mirror in an oval frame, and floating on the water as a large lily pad. Creaky wooden floorboards are arranged in a 10-foot-wide, raised walkway around the pool. This walkway is crowded with shelves, tables and stools in all shapes and styles. Almost every available surface is littered with stacks of dirty plates, scraps of food, and old junk. Dressing dummies are pushed together in one corner and a wooden staircase spirals up from another corner. Five closed doors lead from the room. And as you stare at this, you hear one of the doors shut and some skittering. Your eyes dart this way or that as one of the candles blows out

and smoke, billows out around the room. You hear soft giggling in the corner, and as you look, you see a shadow creeping out from behind one of the doors, a tiny shape, almost frog-like, almost human-like. And as it moves across the wall, almost like a shadow in the room, it emerges next to another one of the doors, and you catch the sight of it in the soft candlelight, as it turns towards you, its eye is incredibly large,

and amphibian like its mouth, a large gaping moth. And you've seen this before, but not quite this. This must be a lorneling. A tiny version of Bavlona herself, made by her own hands in a disgusting mockery of her own image as it looks at you and it smiles and giggles.

And that is where we'll end the session. It's one of those little guys. I hate those fucking guys. Get out of here. Thanks for run the session, Nikki. You're welcome. Unbelievable ending. Oh, shit.

Holy fuck. I was reminded of the ghost kids. Oh, really? Remember the... Oh, Willa. Willa? I kind of killed the hag. I forgot about that.

You wanted to kill the hag from the beginning. Oh, well, I just wanted to do so as a tie. That's why. That's why I waited for a little. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avengers podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more kids. campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or higher

to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventras. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avengers community, join us on Discord at at Legendsofaventures.com slash Discord. We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at Legends ofavanger's.com slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5E supplement published by us get your own copy at the crooked

moon.com thanks again and we'll see you next time