Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 39 | Too Many Cooks
Episode Date: August 12, 2024The Krew investigate Bavlorna's kitchen, stage a weird rescue, and hunt strange critters... Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.c...om/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/MBkyMRepuyo?si=P-BYZoAZP8i00QRD
Transcript
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Hey guys, welcome to Legends of Aventress.
Torbeck's name is Torbeck, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight.
Here's what happened last time.
Oh, fuck, guys, it acid and all my clothes off and now I'm covering a gel.
You may be made of acid, but I find you going basic.
It's mouth agape as it swallows you hold.
It flops this way and that and then splashes down into the water as the life leaves it.
I would propose that we sneak up to the stairs on the outside of the house.
It's probably a less likely pass.
Yeah, it sounds super safe.
You open the door and you're immediately hit with a wave of wind.
A fixed to the door itself, the wall, and the roof is a giant wasp nest.
It's to the landing, everyone quickly.
Jump.
You all watch as Frost falls.
down into the fog
and is completely gone from you.
He's dead!
He's dead!
He's dead!
I simply have lifted myself up
in front of you.
Very, very, very slowly.
Arms crossed, looking smugged.
Getting their spiders on over you.
I'm going to try to hop on
and stand like this.
I'm a green goblin.
Fuck you, Spada, man!
you are standing on this small landing.
You barely fits.
It takes you a moment for your eyes to adjust
to the light in this room.
Look!
A meat cleaver, it beds itself.
In the wall immediately between all of you,
you turn to look, and you see a stout figure
in a blood-stained apron.
What are you doing in my kitchen?
You're a friend of the naked stature outside?
Help me get these vultures together
before the head finds out what's going on.
You had been standing outside.
outside of Beflorna's cottage, the wind whipping around you as the last remaining bits of the
stairwell are blown away. The hornets have befriended you with a clever arcane trick by Kremi,
but you know that this won't last. And so you quickly make haste into the room that this door is an
entrance to, slamming it behind you very quickly. You don't have much time to
get yourselves together as very quickly upon entering a hatchet is launched from one side to the room,
one side of the room to the next and embeds itself in the wooden doorframe to the side of you.
Your attention is immediately drawn to from once that hatchet came,
and you find yourself staring at a small feminine creature, almost dwarf-like in nature,
a red cap upon her head, a pair of, of,
blood-soaked boots at her feet.
And you notice that they aren't.
You notice that one of them is holding a vulture,
is pinning a vulture by the neck to the ground
as she calls out to you to help with these entities.
She doesn't seem in any way shocked to see you.
She doesn't, but she also doesn't seem like she was expecting you.
just that your presence is nothing more
than the possibility of help.
As she takes the cleaver that she holds in her other hand,
clearly a dual wielder of sorts,
and fades to black on this poor vulture.
Oh, gosh.
What to do there, Miss Lady?
Oh, we're the pest inspectors.
We're just exterminators.
I don't really cater to what you think you are.
I need you to get that vulture.
I need you to pin it to the ground or something
so I can kill it.
Because if Bavlona doesn't eat soon,
then we're all going to be fucked.
Oh, right away, Phila.
Oh, that's why we're here.
Extra help.
Yeah.
All the extra hands.
Oh.
Come here, vulture, vulture.
The vulture squeals and makes vulture noises.
Let me see what I can do.
I will endeavor to crush its mind.
Sure.
I need the vulture to make a little bit.
intelligent saving throw.
Derry's just going for those violent
exploding it from the inside?
I just got a Nguyenist. I choose Vuntlet.
Does it does a 12 succeed?
It does not. Okay. So it's going to
take...
Is that what the ability it's called? Explode
their mind? It's going to take four
psychic damage. And it
has to subtract 1D4 from the next saving
throw it makes. Not vulturally.
I think it's going to have to make more than that.
You
look around
the room and you see that Kremi's putting on his chef's apron, he's ready. He has done things
like this before. He's a chef. And so he knows what this entails. You think quickly, but maybe
not enough, as you scan the room really quickly and you find the vulture, and you very quickly
imagine its tiny vulture-sized brain in your mind. And like a...
Only dreams now.
Wish. No!
Jesus.
It's a bit of this.
Holy!
You squash its brain.
That's just so sad.
The vulture runs around for a couple
of seconds afterwards before just all
the sudden spinning
in circles and slamming to the ground
dead. I think I got it.
Oh, man.
It's so good to eat.
Just don't eat his brain.
She looks like a one-headed necky.
Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry.
She very quickly,
marches over to it, grabs it by the neck, and heads back towards this large blood-stained butcher block
in the very center of the room. As she holds the vulture up onto the top, she begins pulling out
feathers. And you can see that she was clearly cooking something else previously. Upon scanning
the room now that the mayhem has finished ensuing, you can see that these vultures seem to be
an addition to what she was cooking. And she begins to prepare them.
She grumbles to herself and doesn't really pay too much attention to the rest of you now that you've assisted her.
Does the food smell good?
Yeah, actually it does.
It feels very seasoned.
There's a bubbling pot on the stove, a big cast iron stove that is a flame.
And there is a large pot on top of it that is just bubbling and popping.
And the smells that are coming from this, you can smell potatoes and,
leaks, a bunch of different meats.
It's very clearly something that's been stewing for a while, a forever broth.
Oh, as violent as that was, Torbac is pretty hungry.
Oh, we haven't eaten in four like days?
I think it was last night.
Maybe it's small.
We got beef off.
It feels like days, ma'am.
Torbanks with Gideon.
Like, dang.
I'm down at least three times since then.
I admit I'm a little hungry myself, actually.
Is this your way of asking if you can have some food?
Is it ready to be eaten, and may we have some for resisting you?
If you want to help me pick all the feathers out of these vultures,
then I'll consider giving you a bowl.
Oh, we have to pickle the feathers.
It's so sad.
We have to pickle the feathers or like pick the feathers off.
I said pick all.
Pick all the feathers off.
I don't pick it about it.
If you're looking for something pickled,
you can go to the storage room and find it yourself.
Not your mother.
Dormack will help with the feathers.
And Dorek will go over and like,
wherever the bultz is.
It's like to like pick them off
and then like eat the feathers.
Well, I guess it's better than loading up the trash bin.
Dormack, those are gonna
pierce your intestines, your stomach.
It's gonna look like,
Okay, well.
Hoot's gonna walk over,
and she's gonna try to, like, stealthily, like, grab and sneak up.
No, Hootie! No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not, it's not for you.
That's not for you.
I guess Vultz is kind of not unlike a rat snack.
I'll just work on picking the feathers off.
She looks to each of you and waits for some sign that you intend to help,
and she pushes some potatoes towards you to be.
begin peeling. She pushes towards you a basket full of vegetables that need to be cleaned
and chopped.
Oh, peeling. Towards you, she, no, towards Gideon, she hands you a mallet and these big,
these big cuts of some sort of meat. You're looking at it, you can't quite tell what kind
of beast this came from, but she motions for you to begin tenderizing the meat. And each
of you have some sort of, and then you, Grico, she gives a spoon to stir the broth.
I'm more than happy to peel these potatoes,
but this is sort of like soup chef work if you want to know.
Oh, I've peeled a lot of potatoes in Uncle Glovo's shop.
Are you insinuating that you're the cook here?
Well, no, I'm just saying that my skill set is relatively advanced
compared to the rest of us if you need some more advanced assistance.
And yet, he is tenderized at least 50% of the meat
and you have not been able to peel a single potato.
I'm pretty good at beating the meat, that's for sure.
All right, I'll just peel the potato.
Turbett gives you a thumbs up.
Feathers are like all over his mouth, like in his teeth.
You want these quarter cube minced?
Just peel them.
The vegetables have all been cut into perfect cubes.
Oh.
That's great. There's another basket against the wall
and 14 more in the cabinet over there.
Oh.
This takes a lot more time than it.
Okay.
I'm assuming you're friends of Bevlarna.
It's the reason I haven't killed you yet.
That's exactly right.
Yeah, we're the exterminator.
Hey, what's the big idea?
We're exterminators.
You know what I mean?
We took, we're plumbers.
We unclogged the drain.
What are you even talking about?
Downstairs.
We unclogged the drain.
We took care of it.
No problem.
You know what I mean?
Like they're doing the big cities.
Oh, Drick was right.
We probably should have washed my hands first.
We're being strong.
Do you any more feathers?
Torbeck means vultures.
Well, you've only plucked the one vulture.
You can get the other one that's on the bat.
Oh, Torbeck would be happy to.
Torbeck continues.
Hey, well, I'm staring here.
Get out of my way, Torberg.
We have friendly acquaintances of Babylon.
That's right.
I think she was a fan of our plate.
You notice that, I will say, roll a,
Roll an Insight Check.
Oh, fuck.
You do need dice for this game.
Oh, I need to pull my character sheet.
Eat it.
Yeah, you, she has a perpetual scow on her face.
She notices what you say, and then she looks down at the one potato you're still peeling
in the entire bowl with additional potatoes, and she looks slightly irritated, but continues with what she's doing.
Do you want these cubes to be smaller?
It occurs to me that the smaller you were to cube, the vegetables that go into the stew,
the more flavor they would deliver into the...
It only makes logical sense.
I don't really care about the flavor all that much.
It's more about the texture.
Just get it done.
It's not difficult.
Anyone can cook.
Is your mama ever teaching how to do anything?
No.
What's your name?
Bloody toes.
Literally no doubt.
That's even worse than Torbeck's thing.
What did they call you bloody toes?
Is that your ganglion?
She is standing on a tool at the butcher block,
and she quickly lifts her leg and slams her boot down onto the table.
And you can see that this metal boot is just dripping with blood.
That in fact!
It's a boot.
Oh.
Why is it full of blood?
I mean, I understand that's probably where you get your name from, but...
Is it always like, man?
You literally just watch me use a butcher's knife to sever the head off of a vulture.
Where did you think the blood was going to go?
Oh, I thought the blood was coming from you.
Oh, thank goodness.
You collected the vulture's blood in your boot?
It's battered all over my boot.
Wait, is that how you're supposed to tend rise of the meat?
I've been hitting it with this mallet.
Am I supposed to be stung?
I tenderized the meat.
You're not wearing any shoes.
You didn't make me shoes, man?
There was a time.
We only had 10 minutes.
I mean everything is every single.
What the hell, bro?
You made me this fancy ass guy.
You've known this for 45 minutes.
Did you forget to take off the Patreon discount thing?
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, I'll fix that.
April fools.
April fools.
July.
July.
Oh, so you're called bloody toes because you get blood on your toes so often.
That's the, you don't have any other name that's less...
Well, it could be that, or it could be that I put blood on my shoes because my name is bloody toes.
Really, that's what I'm asking.
I'm having a really hard to keeping this accident.
Oh, it's a tough one.
We're going to have lots of words.
Oh, forget about it.
I thought you needed some tough acting to an actor.
So the vultures blind.
We don't care about him.
We're here to kill vultures and worms and wasps.
And anybody else, you need a drain on, Claude, we got you.
You need a pest kill.
We got it.
I'm walking here.
My friend means to say is that we're at your assistance.
Whatever you need, let us know.
We can take the dinner right on up to Babylon, or if that's the next step of this.
She's got a guest currently.
Oh, that's how it makes.
It's not a suitor of any kind.
Oh, just a casuals for the one or else kind of.
Oh, casuals fun too.
It's that elph that keeps visiting from that balloon down by the palace.
Can't do this accent.
I don't know why.
I had it.
I'm right.
You're doing it.
You're doing it.
You know what?
Don't gaslight me.
I'm not.
First of, I'd be patronizing you, and I'm not doing that either.
Okay, thanks.
I think that's a dish, is the saucy minks.
That's next.
Oh, the ones from the balloon, eh?
She nods toward you.
That is quite literally the word she just said.
He's an elf, fellow.
Are they like allies?
Perhaps maybe she trusts.
I start sweating.
Well, it seems like she does trust them.
Oh, wow.
Unless a betrayal was revealed, perhaps.
She seems very confused at what you're saying.
Tormex confused, too.
Don't listen to him.
It's just plumber talk.
So, you have an email, you know, what's the next?
What's the what's the tea?
What's the drama on this guy?
Any gossip?
I thought you were friends of Bafflorna Whitestrel.
Why are you looking for gossip?
Well, I just meant on the guest.
Not a Bavona itself, but, you know,
I just sort of, my own personal interest.
I just sort of like the gossip.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, he's a big gossip.
Yeah, you know.
Well, in that case.
It's got a fun, right?
What do you think?
I do believe she trusts her,
but only because they sit here.
in there and they have tea for hours and hours on end.
And this woman,
this elf, likes
to say things about
Bavlornah's sisters that Bavlona would like to hear.
Oh, like they'll do.
They don't smell very nice.
Well, I'm sure she's right here as well.
It's also things that they fail.
Their secrets and things
Bavlora can use against them.
Oh.
They're gossiping.
It is fun.
It is fun.
Doorback's been involved in lots of gossip.
Lots of gossip and hopes to someday be on the other side of it.
Well, that's what we're doing right now, right?
Well, I'm welcome, man.
Welcome to the other side.
This feels nice.
Yeah, unless I heard, she stole the book of budget.
That's the gossip I heard about that terrible balloon elf
So they started to sweat
What is the book of grudges?
A book of bad things that happen
A book of bad blood, I think is what it means
That's what we heard anyway
Last is we heard on the word on the streets
Is what they're saying
Well no, but I mean, did you, wait, did you hear it?
It was an elf, I heard that it was a couple
Darklands that were running a shop
That's what I think he's talking about
That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yes, hey, hey!
Get you ready in the game, Grimmie!
Catch up, your streets behind.
You're going, streets behind.
There's go, what streets behind?
Nice.
Whether there are darklings or elves means nothing to me.
I'm simply here to cook the meals.
Oh, all right, well,
anyway, I was trying to dish, you know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
You know, like the tea.
Do you often find yourselves talking behind the backs of all of your friends?
Oh, no.
to be. Yes, thank you.
Not whole of our friends, just most of them.
Speaking of a dish, you know, you have to be snacks.
No friend of Vaglornah is a friend of mine.
So do your work and then get out of my kitchen.
Oh, you don't like it too much, do you?
I'm imprisoned here to make her food.
Well, I did say friendly.
I'm not allowed to give into my primal urges
to spill the blood of my enemies.
Would you classify her as an enemy?
She looks towards you.
Roll a persuasion check.
Triset.
Triset, choosy, chisel, chisel, chisel, chisel, chisel, chisel, chrissot, chrissot, chrisset, chrisset, chrisset, chit, chit, chit, chis.
Hey.
Seventy.
Nice.
It's not that money.
It's not bad.
It's good money.
That's not money.
She's my captor.
Mm.
So in so doing, she is, I'm, this is so hard to try and keep his accent up.
I have to remember what my.
my potato.
Potato.
But that's not apparent.
That's the problem.
I had my word and I forgot what it was.
Corned beef and capital.
She's my camera.
She's my camera.
My dechondria.
It was weird and that was my...
The firehouse of the cell.
Will oil be fucked?
She's my chifter.
Oh, well, in that case,
have you ever thought about poisoning the soup?
Mm.
Well, well, well.
Have you ever thought about poisoning the soup?
Oh, well, well, man.
I'm still hungry.
Don't poison anything.
Don't poison anything.
Why would you be trying to tell me
to poison the soup of your friend?
Oh, no, no.
I mean, we were just saying, like, have you thought about it?
We're not, we're not going to knock or nothing.
I've attempted it.
But her stomach is so acidic
she can consume anything.
Those are called intrusive thoughts,
and D'Orbeck tries to not let them win.
Well, let me hear.
Let me just posit this too.
So are you a friend of Belorna?
Are you a friend of the satyr outside?
Or are you a friend of no one?
First of all.
Is this sater in some kind of cage?
He won't shut the fucking...
This is a sater in a cage?
So you are friends with the sater outside.
We haven't seen that guy?
I don't even know this guy exists.
Oh, I told you.
Wait, there's a sater in a cage.
He just looked very sad and lonesome.
He's actually in quite high spirits for naked Sater,
dangling over a ravine.
That was the whole thing that's in a gilded cage.
He thinks it's done.
But it's a, isn't that the whole point of a Gilder cage?
Anyway, we don't know anything about the Seder.
I know about the Seder.
Besides, it might exist.
I know he existed.
Oh, Grick-O, there's no Sater at all.
You clearly wrong, Kremi.
Thank you for confirming.
I didn't have to be a Sater.
Well, just saying, we are friends of his Sater.
We are friends of his Sater.
Just show for a second, all right?
From a theoretical point of view, let's say, you know,
just thought experiment.
if we happen to hate Bafflona's guns,
could we potentially be allies,
and would there maybe, theoretically, you know, ironically,
could there be some way that we could help free you
and maybe, you know, team up, you know,
sort of like you could join the gang
and we could, you know, you could smash the brains in
with your shoes.
From a certain point of you.
Torbeck is learning.
I've received Joe.
And anyone else who is, who is,
A friend of yours, perhaps a Mr. Toes, if there is one.
You know, Frost, what's what you and always ask you about somebody's spouse?
Because I find it funny.
First, the warmer, the mouth is?
I'm working on my Riz.
Be talking.
Boy the Nags.
These gentlemen are wearing very nice fedores, and clearly they know how to interact with women.
I watched a YouTube video.
I need to get myself a fedora.
Jesus.
As I was saying, any friend of yours, we could also help.
Not just you. It doesn't have to be selfish.
I don't have any friends.
I hate everyone and everything, but have Vlornna the most of all.
So an enemy of hers as a friend, as close as a friend could be of mine.
All right. Well, I think we can make a deal.
I can't help in many ways, but I can give you a bit of information.
Oh.
Well, I had to say we've been dishonest.
Our masterful disguises as exterminator plumbers was a ruse.
We're here to kill above Lorna.
That's right.
You're going to need a whole lot of luck on your side to accomplish something like that.
Oh, not necessarily kill her.
We just need something from them.
We don't think she'll part with it, so we might just seem to do a little sticky grab.
But if we can help you out by killing her, you know, we can be convinced.
It won't take too much either.
I don't want to watch someone else kill that, Lorna.
I'd like to color myself.
But that's not something that's going to happen in my day,
so I will...
Two of her Lorna Lings.
I'd like to kill them.
And you see a smile for the first time on her face.
Wait, are those little guys, those little fuckers!
This malevolent, malicious smile.
Oh!
Yeah, those little fuckers, you mean!
A razor-sharp teeth in pure, bloodthirsty joy
as she thinks about...
completely annihilating some warnings.
I hate those guys.
You know that one of them stole?
Who'd say, my daughter here?
Is it, dude, wait,
did one of the ones that you want to die,
did they go to the Witchlock Carnival and steal people?
Well, they're all the same,
and you just want to kill two of them for some reason.
I just want to kill two of them.
Oh.
I just want to get some blood on my cap and my wife.
It's obvious.
Yeah, it steps on one with the right,
steps on one with the ride again,
but then it kind of finishes it all.
I hate those little fuckers.
We'll help you.
And then we could call you brained tobs.
You know, instead of blooded toes.
Because, you know, the brains will explode out.
Oh, it's a little macabre.
It's very violent.
I'm a little macabre.
She's trying to lean you into what she's looking for.
In the room, it exploded the brain on a creature.
It didn't explode.
I just stopped it from functioning.
Stop, guys.
You're raining torquick in all.
Oh, me that might be the film.
Torbeki at all right.
Oh, shit, man. This is my favorite floor.
She takes all the things that you have been helping her with,
and she begins to dump them into the pot.
And then puts more things in front of you,
more potatoes, more vegetables, more meat.
Oh, what do you want to do with all this meat?
This is going in the pot?
No, I'll eventually take it to the meat locker.
Oh, they're not cooking it.
Eventually, but not today.
Oh, I'm a, just food prep.
I'm cooking it.
I'm cooking it behind you.
Just not all of it.
This is the first time I've had any assistance in the kitchen for a while.
I'm not going to miss out on all of that.
You're helping me for tomorrow and the day after and the day after that.
I've got these vegetables up as tiny as I can into very small particulates.
I don't need them to be that small.
Well, I've already done it.
I thought that you'd get the most flavor.
The smaller the the chopping would be.
the more flavor.
It's more about the texture
when it goes into the stew.
What's someone going to do
with these tiny,
little tiny cubes of blokes?
I've been over this
a million fucking times
with ham, something about surface area.
Yeah, it's like coffee.
Do you just put a pour hot water
over a full bean or do you grind it up?
That's what I've done here.
The best possible flavor.
Surely you can put it back together,
fraud.
I start mending.
I'm a sweet for my new.
I do it.
I reassemble a full celery stock.
A carrot comes back together.
Mm.
Well, if you can promise me that you can bring me a couple of lornlings,
I will give you a bit of information.
Oh.
We're very good at making promises.
Is there some way to free you?
Can we just help you out and just let you go on us?
Yes, you're a spell, a curse we can break.
And Bevlarna's gone. I'll be able to leave, but not a moment before.
Oh, like when she's dead.
Yeah, or gone from hither,
as long as I can escape the confines of this house.
Oh.
So it's her power, I mean, this is too much information,
but it's her power just like specifically located in this realm,
and if she leaves, all her power is gone, everything she's done.
Not the leading intellectual one, but learn of light straw.
I know a little bit of information from living in her house, but that's about it.
Okay, I guess, yeah, you could.
That makes sense.
So, what we'll do?
is we'll give you two of these little fuckers to kill.
I believe that there are two of them.
You don't like them much, do you?
I fucking hate those guys.
Interesting enough, there are two mounted goblin heads
in the dining room,
and two of them like to hang out
inside the mouths of the goblin heads.
What the fuck? I hate these little fuckers.
These are little freaks.
He's a lot of bad language.
He's a little freaks.
Do as I say no that I do.
Fuck these guys.
So if you're looking for two to find,
Those are probably going to be the easiest
as they're not lurking around with Lorne all the time.
These guys fucking suck.
He's cocky little freak!
God him, Frank!
Okay.
I'm cool. I'm cool. I'm cool.
Let's go capture some Lorna Lings.
Yeah, let's go fucking bag them up.
Get them under the boot.
All we got to do is open that door right there
and let two little fellows in and you'll just do the rest.
Well.
Puzzle.
That really depends on whether you want to be here for the show.
For her, yeah, we do.
Yeah, we do.
I don't know.
I don't really want to learn.
You see she turns towards you, Grico, and she smiles at you.
I don't normally like anything or anyone, but I'm growing quite the affection for you.
Well, maybe keep doing it.
I fucking hate them.
We're going to keep your little friction.
I can have been cut off governance.
And they'll have their stupid little eyes.
She scoots over towards you, and she slides you at one of her butcher's knives.
Oh.
If you decide you find a third and you're feeling of it bloodthirsty, now you'll have something on you to take care of it.
What's happening?
Oh, thank you.
Oh.
Torbell, thank you, Miss Ito.
And you guys are about the same height.
How fake you, Miss Ito's.
I have a radical idea about how to capture the one's ever given me a name name before.
I don't like it.
Well, I kind of do.
It fits you.
Well, thank you.
Froes and for all.
Please continue.
Once I have an idea of where they are.
Can you please cut those a little bit larger?
They're still way too small.
It's just two pieces of carrot, right?
Just put the whole carrot and fix it.
We'll at least cut the green part off.
Oh, that's too much carrot.
It's a lot of waste.
I'm not a chest.
Is this enough?
That'll do.
What do you do with this part?
Eat it.
The greens?
A really long
into the pot.
Is there an empty pot of this size that the lornlings
could both fit inside?
You want to boil the lorn lans?
No, this is a way to capture them.
You're one sick fun.
Yeah, that's way too humane.
That's way too humane.
Because you know what they say about frogs
and they don't notice, and they just like, oh, they boil a lot.
If they don't feel it, what's the point?
Once I sense the fucks, I will be able to potentially teleport them both inside of the pot.
It'll make a lot of my energy, but it would be instantaneous.
Well, I don't want them boiled.
The blood won't spray the way I like if they're boiled.
That's why we empty the pot. We don't heat it up, and then they'll just be inside the pot for your killing pleasure.
It's that temporary prison before their execution.
I like this plan.
Oh, right.
Wait, are they on the way to the Sater,
or we can say hello as well?
Sater's just right out that door right there
next to the one you came in.
Oh, he needs to meet Krami.
The Saitre does?
Oh, yes, yes, he does.
I mean, I'll still meet him.
I thought you were friends of the Sater,
haven't you already met him?
Well, from a certain point of view,
I met him in a dream.
Well, if you'd like to talk to him,
he's in one of the cages hanging out over,
over the lake.
There's no key for the cage,
so if you want to get him out, you're going to have to do it
with your bare hands, and I can promise you, it's not going to be easy.
That's why he's here.
Yeah.
You might be strong, but I'm not sure you're strong enough for that cage.
No, I'll need to try. Worst case in there.
He's naked, by the way, that satyr is.
Gideon loves naked satyr is.
No.
This, Missy Toes,
I really appreciate your rusty,
brutal bloody cleaner.
I've got many more where that one came from.
It's actually the most rusted of the bunch,
so you can tell that we're becoming fast friends
if I'm willing to part with it for you.
I'm sure in Red Cap Palance,
that means quite a lot, so thank you very much.
It's not often that I find someone
with such a bloodthirsty glint in their eye.
Well, thank you. We both want to murder the same little fuckers,
I hate.
It's very worked out in chance.
I'm usually not as bloodthirsty,
but I will perhaps you bring out the best in me.
She sidels up next.
deal. I hope you'll tell me all about the capturing of them and how much they screamed and cried
and asked for... No, you'll be able to, you'll be able to hear it yourself. Yes, they should just
pop right in there. But won't you very romantic? Yeah, you'll be able to feel their guts or something.
She looks towards you, Frost. You asked if I had a Mr. Toes. I think I might have found one.
What do you mean?
What are you? I mean, you're a little small than I know nobody looks for, but you know,
I'm on the door.
Which door?
The Sater door or the lormling's door?
Is it all the same door?
So in the room, there are actually a couple of doors.
You see one door, which is a metal door.
It clearly goes to a meat locker, some kind of a freezer.
You see another door, which, based on the wooden door frame,
it's a little more innate.
You imagine it probably goes deeper into the house,
maybe to a hallway, something like that.
You also have two doors against the back wall, the one that you came in and slammed shut,
and then one right next to it, which is a much smaller door, which clearly leads to a balcony that you didn't notice upon ascension up the side of the house.
There is a window next to it, and you can roughly see what appears to be wooden beams jutting out from the side of the house and iron chains,
which I would say just from
simple deduction
you would easily be able to tell that there are some kinds of
winches that are holding cages aloft
via chains dangling over the water.
But there is a balcony there that has access
to all the mechanical parts.
Prepare the empty pot.
Oh, it's just right there on the ground,
so it looks like it's already prepared.
Okay, great.
Did you need a lid for it?
You need a lid for it?
I would recommend putting something like a lid on.
it and then something heavy on top of that so that they cannot escape immediately upon teleportation.
Well, I hope you enjoy doing that for yourself. I'm going to get back to cooking.
Oh, Gideon, you're big and strong. Yeah. Can you put something heavy on there?
Well, where's the lid?
Why not?
Where you keep the pickles? In the pantry. In the pantry?
In the pantry?
It could be in the pantry. It could be in the cold storage box. It could be somewhere on the ground. You'd have to look for it.
I'm just telling you if this was your attention, you'd know where the lid.
You know what I can hear this from standing right here.
What?
A half taller.
No, I don't say that.
I'm saying.
I said it.
All right.
Well, I guess this is looking for the lid.
We'll look for the lid.
It's fine.
Sorry for him.
He's like a bull in a china shop.
You know what I mean?
He's used to the,
he's a little bit of a hortic,
fancy, you know what I mean?
Yeah, not a real.
This is a real, like a goblin.
I mean, no, you're not a goblin.
But this is like Uncle Globo's kitchen.
I know how to operate in this kind of kitchen.
We call it rustic.
Wow.
We'll find a lid.
Everyone look for a lid.
Yeah, we look for a lid.
Oh, you're going to look for a lid?
I look for a lid.
I check the pickle pantry.
You check the pickle pantry, and you see that there are many things that are pickled.
Pickled pig's feet.
You see pickled toad, small pickled onions, pickled onions,
pickled mushrooms, pickled fingers,
cuminoid otherwise.
It's just wooden racks just filled to the brim
with pickled items.
Mr. Cranny, can you pickle anything?
I mean, from a certain point of view, I guess, yeah.
How you just throw it in vinegar and that's all it takes.
Maybe a little seasoning it.
I guess it depends how you define the word pickle.
Tobin, you just take yourself a little snack.
What are you feeling?
What is your hot desire?
I mean,
Bavlona's not going to need them where she's going to.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Right in the pot of me
or full of Vohna's part too.
You can't start.
You've lost control of the situation.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Let's just do it.
Well, so some pickles?
Oh, we found a lib.
I found a lib.
Oh, I looked.
So you're just looking in the main area.
Oh, help you.
I'm in the pickle.
That's a 15 and with advantage.
I'm looking in the meat locker.
Oh, there we go.
I'm looking in the various cupboards.
24.
Yes, you look around and you will go to your various areas.
It's right here on top of the pot.
is looking through the cupboards.
And you find that most of these cupboards are close to the ground,
and they're very dark, and this is where all the root vegetables are stored.
There is a thick layer of mud or of dirt on the ground,
and they're kind of nestled in there.
You're looking around, you don't see any lids.
You, Gideon, are with Torbeck over at the pantry
looking through all variety of pickled things.
There is also a jar of pickled feathers.
Oh.
Torbeck is looking for the pot lid in the jar of pickled feathers.
Torbeck is looking, giddy-in.
Nice and tart.
Don't over there, Gideon.
Incredibly pungent.
Just the way you like it.
And there's a thick air of the bits of feather that have fallen off on the very bottom.
The inside is getting horribly scraped by the claw.
As you, Frost, begin to look around,
you notice that everyone is looking down and indoors,
and you look up, and you see that there are hooks all along the ceiling here.
There are a variety of pots and pans, bits of cured meat.
Yeah, exactly.
some meat that is clearly being thawed that had just recently been in the cold storage unit.
And you do find an entire section that is nothing but a pan lids.
Looking around, you can see that there are significantly more lids than pans in all in varying sizes.
I wonder how that happens.
As Grico, you make your way into the cold storage.
You open the door and you're immediately hit with a blast.
frigid air.
You step into the locker
and immediately the door closes
behind you. Right. Jeez.
It's openable. You can easily
get out. You are not trapped. Oh, this is how
I die. But he is...
But he is freezing
in here. Colder than you would have ever
expected a cold storage unit to be.
All around you are
shelves covered in ice.
Stalactites
dangle from the ceiling.
It's the
sea for ceiling. I don't know.
Iceicles?
No, there's stalactites.
Jesus.
Ice stalactites?
Yes.
I want them to be stalactites.
You were just proud that you've picked the right one, I think.
I was really proud.
I made the three one.
I've never got it right.
Oh, some stalagmites of ice.
No.
That's what Gringo says.
Sorry.
No.
They are icicles, yes.
But I did get it right.
So that's all that matters.
Icicles dangle from the ceiling.
And all along the shelves, you see frozen meats and frozen treats.
And in the very center is a small wooden box.
And just looking in this unit, you can see that the cold is emanating from this box.
As you hear,
um,
do.
Dump,
do,
do,
um,
um,
do,
um,
do,
um,
dum,
um,
um,
uh,
Like you see no lid.
Is that what I think it is?
I need you to roll a Constitution saving throw.
Oh, gosh.
That's when you also hear.
Yeah.
Cros.
Ooh, you're just west, pull it, twist.
Let's keep flying.
Let me know if you want some heart stamps.
But you weren't, you were not adequately.
Mine weren't good enough for you, Derek?
No, they weren't.
What a mask man
What the fuck?
Very good.
Jesus.
I thought there's a hard.
They're great.
They're great.
They're great. I probably.
Oh, my God.
You all watch as Frasco's to dig one of the lids down, and they all fall, and one of them was really sharp
and it cuts his head off.
Just in the final.
My fucking rest of my body.
My fucking neck.
I got a 22 on my call and saving throw.
Okay, lovely.
You withstand the cold, you steal yourself against it.
As you walk a little bit further into this room,
your feet stick to the frost on the ground,
not morning frost, but cold storage unit frost.
My fucking meat hooks.
As you move deeper into this room,
still no sign of lids anywhere.
As you hear the sound of
Derek, I pointed at you.
Dump, dump.
It was a fucking suck.
You're so dumb.
Make the sound,
and then her head gets cut off.
You don't get to say that.
You don't get to say that.
No, it doesn't.
Just wait to Friday.
Just wait to Friday.
Just wait to Friday.
You'll see.
Oh, my God.
Where are these plans going to?
I wonder if she has any
popsicles of
Chewc cucumber Robert
rectangle
trousers
Those are always
so delicious
What the fuck?
Hootie would love that
That's Hucci's favorite
Even the reruns
Oh
Cucber
Robert rectangle
Trousers are you
Roll in the Massachusetts
same
Disadventage
Man, we are all going to die.
Eight.
You stand in the middle of this room, and you hear the thump, thump, thump,
coming, emanating from this small wooden box.
But your attention is not on the small wooden box.
As you scan the shelves looking for the very distinct coloring of the package for the
Robert rectangle trousers, popsicle snacks that are Hoosie's favorite.
The C cucumber.
Cucumber.
Cucumber.
Cucumber.
Cucumber.
The Cucumber Robert.
Cucumber Robert.
Yes.
And you look and you look and you look.
And you're so focused on trying to find this popsicle for Hootsie
that you don't realize how long you've spent in here.
And with the door closed, the temperatures dropping consistently.
And you are going to take.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, gosh.
You're going to take six.
going to take six points of cold damage.
Oh, that's not good.
As you open your mouth, you can feel,
you can feel frost filling your mouth.
You could not have chosen
I just really shouldn't have just read to build a fire.
I opened the box.
I opened the box.
the box.
Oh, you're going to pay attention to the box now?
I'm trying. I was trying. I was hoping to see the C-Cucumber rubber,
rectangle trousers, popsicles. Inside the box. Inside the box. I was hoping. I see.
Yeah, you make your way towards the box. You open the lid or you attempt to open the lid,
and it is, it is locked. Oh, gosh. I'm going to try. Does the lock look something like I'm
like force open.
You imagine it's something you could force open
or you could attempt to pick?
Look, Grimmie's usually the one who does
near-do-out-hop activities.
I'm going to try to
oh gosh, I can't go from this.
I can't pick up the box?
Oh, I'll just bring this to Gideon.
He's good at smashing things.
It is quite heavy, and it does take both of your arms
to lift it and to carry it.
You imagine that, yeah, you can carry it to the door,
but it's going to be difficult to open the door
with this box in your arms.
Okay.
Well, let's go.
I didn't find a lid.
Because I'm going to take the box,
and I'm going to walk back to the door.
I'm sure someone will hear me.
I'm like you'd all the roll of reception check at disadvantage
because of the loud thwack.
Thwack.
He must have gone to next room, my fellas.
We should probably try to catch up.
I got a 10.
10, 9.
19.
Dredd.
This is how I die.
The tiny D20.
All right, now it's a nine.
They cost me 10 hearing points.
All you can hear is
the sound of the thwack, thwack,
of the meat cleaver as it slams down
onto the butcher's block as she continues to chop.
meats and veggies for the meal that she's preparing.
As Frost, you find the lid, you alert everyone to the lid has been found, the pot has been procured.
You even found a large wooden brick that fits perfectly on the top of it to help keep the top closed,
as well as a bit of rope if you wanted to tie the lid onto it instead.
So you have a couple of options for how to keep the lorllings inside of this pot.
of this pot.
At first glance,
the pot does seem like it's large enough
to fit two, maybe even three more than it's inside.
Well, that's everything.
Great work, man.
You felt in the found a lid and all that stuff
up there.
Yeah, well,
just to have to use my mind and my eyes
to investigate.
Oh, eyes. Damn.
There's a lot of lids up there, actually.
Told the whole story.
It took you a while to find the proper size.
Surely they don't notice I'm missing.
Why do you think there's so many lids up there when there's just the one pot?
That's a good question.
Bloody Toes?
Yes.
Perhaps you could spend a few minutes.
Describing to us.
What happened?
We got all these lids, but only so few pans.
I'm very curious.
I want to hear all of the details.
Well, let's me tell you.
And so she goes on about a five-minute tirade about how all
Often the Lornellings come in and they'll steal the pots.
And they'll just toss them over the edge down into the water.
And she can't go down to get them.
And Valorna refuses to get new pots.
So the few that she has remaining, she has to hide now.
And she keeps the lids up there, but the Lornelings never take.
And she continues on and on.
And it turns into, towards the end, she's just cursing and yelling about how much she gets back Lorna at the Walna.
That we'll be trapping the Lornelings inside that, which they threw away so often.
She laughs and laughs.
And even though she doesn't necessarily
like you, you have at least
gained her.
Yeah, Jesus.
Oh, Liz.
Even though she fucking hates her.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
I just have to make it clear.
This red caps are fucking bitch.
What the fuck? My tips I read online
by the man in the fedora are working.
How can this be possible?
I need $12999.
This is bullshit.
I want my money back.
Oh, no.
Refunds.
They promised I would date strippers.
What the fuck?
How did this happen?
Rico, I would like you to roll a Constitution saving through a disadvantage, please?
Seven.
Yes.
You are feeling incredibly cold.
The ice clearly emanates from this.
box and holding on to it
might have been the wrong
ice. As you feel
your fingers adhere
to the box itself,
your feet
here to the floor
as you become, you
watch the ice slowly spread
up all of your limbs
and start making its way to your very
core. You imagine you don't have
that much long
before you are an ice statue
inside of this freezer.
How did you come to be here?
Do I think damage?
What was your...
It was five more than what it was, so it's damage or...
What was your tragic backstory?
What was your first memory at a time?
It seems like your fellow's really like a tragedy,
and I like telling one so.
And she begins to start telling you the story
of how she was trapped here
and that she used to live in mountains with her family,
and they would kill all day long, and it was incredible.
And she just enjoyed death so much.
And one day she was caught out while she was hunting for her family by a bunch of warlings,
and they dragged her back and imprisoned her, and that she's been here ever since,
and that she's attempted to make some deals with Bavolena.
And though Bavolona makes deals with everyone, she refuses to make a deal with her.
And so she has no means of escape whatsoever.
and she bides all of her time just growing even more bitter
until the one day that she can escape
and enact her vengeance on basically anything or path.
Fellas, I really think Gregor ran ahead,
and if we have the lid and we have the pot,
we should probably go catch up and deal with these guys
before he kills them themselves.
Yes, let's not waste any more time, I agree.
I didn't even realize it wasn't here.
Yeah, no, I haven't seen him in a while,
and I just feel like he's probably sneaking up on those lawns.
taking medicines and in his own hands.
We can't let him go.
I know, so can we go, look.
We gotta have two longs for you,
15 minutes flat.
You feel a tug on the back of your trousers.
Twig has been clutching onto your leg
from the moment that she saw this red cap,
and she motions to you to lean down to her.
I don't want to say anything too loud,
Gideon, because red caps are my skin.
There is them nemesis.
Well, just say it all quiet like then.
I'm leaning all the way over.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Go ahead.
Shh.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, go ahead.
Go ahead.
It's your turn.
I've been watching what's going on, kid.
Uh-huh.
Okay, I just want to make sure you heard me.
Yeah, no, I'm still listening.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
You just go on the head, all right?
You just go on ahead.
So, I looked at the window, and there's a naked sailor.
out there and said we're on the cages.
Go on.
Okay, okay, just want to make sure.
Wait, is this guy relevant to me?
Getting.
I'm trying to tell me a story.
I'm getting scoliosis.
Yeah.
Look.
I noticed Hootsie's been pacing in front of the meat locker.
You think that Grick was in there?
No, it's probably just hungry.
Okay, cool.
Bye.
All right.
Oh, hey, sorry about the smell, by the way.
I don't know why, but Frosty that made me a damn shit.
I'm one thought you're just farting.
Well, I was doing that too, but I, you know, just a feat thing.
It made me this whole fancy ass guy in like a fur-line collie.
It couldn't take a second to make a damn pair of shoes.
He did, but you didn't put him on.
You left him down there.
Oh, damn.
You're saying this is my fault?
Yep.
Well, fuck.
I should probably apologize to him.
Nah.
Oh, fuck that guy.
Let's continue.
What are you doing?
Open the door to the Laurenlings.
Oh, all she told you was that it was the dining room.
There was no entrance to the dining room from here.
You're in the kitchen.
So you imagine there is a door that leads deeper into the hut.
so you, it's right next to the meat locker.
So you imagine that.
Quickly, fast.
We go to the door.
We get away from the meat locker.
We don't even look back.
Come on, Hootie.
Come on.
We got to go find, you know, Papa Rico.
Hootzee does not budge.
She is curled up next to the meat locker.
And she looks a little bit sad.
Hootsie, are you kidding me right now?
Grico's chasing down Lauren Lens.
You're over here looking for rat snakes.
She hoots sullenly at you, and then pause at the door of the meat locker.
Well, get, I mean, we can get you.
Listen, you want some of this vulture?
What are you doing?
She's probably hungry.
Let's just sneak into the meat locker, get her a little bit of meat, and then we can be on our way.
Oh, but, Frost, there's plenty of pickled stuff over there.
Pickles over there, mouths of bashing meat.
They're all tenderized, ready to go.
They're really good.
Would you like a little pickled?
Something?
Like a-
Are you talking a twig?
No, Hootsie.
Oh, Hootsie looks up at you.
Her eyes are slightly brimming with tears
as she shakes her head and she snaps at you a little bit,
not actually to bite you, but to show her upset and disinterest
and she continues to pot.
There's Pickled fingers.
I'll just pop in real quickly and then we'll be on our way.
Look at that face.
She clearly doesn't want pickles.
She's probably more of a meat person.
Dorbeck mentioned pickle fingers.
Didn't I see pickled rats in that too?
Yeah.
Piggled rats.
She looks up for a second, kind of excited.
And she kind of inches towards you.
But then you see her turn her head back towards the meat locker
and she's her shoulder sink and she starts to pot.
Nothing in there is going to be good for you.
It's all going to be frozen.
and there's like a meat popsicle.
It's not gonna be.
She turns, she turns her head back towards you
and hoots, sadly.
She really wants a meat popsicle.
We're wasting time.
All right, out of the way Hootsey, I'll get you a meat popsicle.
Wait, hold on.
Wasn't Rick Hall always talking about the sea slug gas,
least-up?
Oh, sea cucumber robber bricangle project?
You're saying, wait, but yeah, Grico was saying that she's got to eat like healthy meals, man.
That's right.
Rico's not around right now.
He's probably outside of your shot, some weird on the hallway.
You can hear everything that's happening.
You are, you look like Jack Nicholson in the final scene of The Shining, and you are, the ice is almost completely covering you.
But you can still hear the muffled voices of your friends talking your Albeard daughter out of protecting you.
Torbeck doesn't know, guys.
Doorbeck's McGee, it just wouldn't be right.
Look, she gets ads on flypad, and then she asks Ricko to buy them for.
It's like they're loaded with sugar, they're not good for albums, all right?
I think they're made for, like, human children, you know?
Meat, bopsicles?
Or fickle rats?
No, they made of, like, isn't it, like, CQ cummer?
some kind of vegetables, something I don't fucking know.
Sea cucumber,
I lived in a
like a pomegranate or something.
Yeah, I don't know.
Well,
if all three of you were in agreement,
Hoosie, I'm sorry, but we're just
going to have to move on. You're not allowed.
Your father would be very upset with us.
Plus, it's probably safer here for her
than where we're going to find Rickon.
Oh, no, we can't, I mean,
No, she won't move.
She won't move.
All right, come on, Nancy, come on.
I'm trying to scoop her up.
She nips at you and she bites a bit out of your hip
My nipple.
Your nipple's completely gone.
My favorite Roger zone.
Oh, God, damn!
Oh, my God!
It's just popsicles, dude.
Jesus, oh!
What the hell?
I'm flying everywhere.
Bloody Toes is really excited.
She just walked him.
No, no, no.
Can we even fix anything out of a banana here?
God, I whisperer was here right now, man.
He passes.
Get a lot of them.
Okay.
Let's go.
Let's go find it.
We'll get the bananas.
We got to take hootsy with us, man.
She's buying nipples.
She's hungry.
Just, I don't know.
Can you like just tie a tie a leash on.
I don't know.
Let's get her a damn popsicle, man.
All right, we just got to chill her out.
No, look.
Look, I think.
Grico probably way ahead.
He's getting into trouble.
We're losing time.
I'm just gonna check in with him
to make sure that nothing's going wrong.
Hey, Grico.
Don't do anything rash.
You know the plan, all right?
You're hearing the voice double
because you're not something to do that.
I mean, you can't activate.
You hear the heartbeat,
you hear the heartbeat,
whooping through the, I'm holding the chest piece.
But because Grico can't hold his,
I don't think he can respond.
No. But you can hear him, right?
You can hear grimy, but you aren't unable to respond.
Because he looked like Jack Nicholson.
Something may have happened to Grico.
Torbeck didn't hear anything either.
RICO, this better not be some kind of prank.
I'm gonna be very upset.
Look, we really need you to come back.
Lucey just bit off Gidding's nipples.
I don't think of that.
We need some more bananas.
Are you in danger, Grigo?
Are you in danger?
Poozy, we can't stay here and wait for meat popsicles.
We have to go. Grigo may be in danger.
This is dire!
All right, look, you know what?
Nobody say a thing to fucking Grickle.
Get in a popsicle, and then we'll go and we'll catch up
just in case he's in trouble, all right?
Yeah, okay.
Let's open this door.
It's a pull to open.
It's a pull door.
It pulls out.
Well, this is very simple.
You see.
two imprints of hitting hands in the middle of semi-lars.
What? It's unlocked. Look. I'll open it.
You know, I'll fly.
With the amount of force he is put on it,
the mechanism inside is buckled.
Oh, no.
And the door no longer opens smoothly.
Oh, damn, I hate this freezing.
Meadlock!
I'm trying to rip it open.
Roll a, uh,
well, we've reached an in back.
Oh, 26.
Nice.
You don't grab the handle.
You actually look at the weak spot
between your two handprints.
You punch directly in,
grab the mechanism on the inside,
and grab the door off of its hinges.
As you throw it, it slams against the wall,
a loud clatters, a bunch of pots and pans
fall from the ceiling.
Bloody Toe seems like she's enjoying this greatly.
As the frost,
billows out, tiny almost like snowflakes erupt around you.
And as it slowly starts to fall and settle on the ground,
you see standing in the middle of the door,
his fingers frozen to this wooden box
that is completely frost free as it, thump, thump, thump,
thump, thump, is Grico.
As a frozen ice statue.
Stupid goblin statue, get out of the way,
and look at my pops, man.
I'm gonna have this stupid thing in here.
Priggis.
Grigo, are you okay?
Oh, it's Grico.
We made a mistake.
Oh, my gosh.
Warm them up.
Warm them up.
I'll take the box.
I'll rinse the box free.
Still stuck to the box.
Oh.
He was in there for a while.
As he moves in and she nozzles up against your legs,
you immediately start feeling your legs as her body heat starts to overtake you.
He can buy my popsicle anywhere.
I'll just reach over and I'll put the finger into your front pocket.
Sorry about that, Grico.
How long and the whole time, the whole time since we started looking for the lid, the lids, yes?
Kalima.
Kalima.
I pointed the boss at the heart.
Something.
Who?
The popsicles are in there?
I need the mouth.
I'm holding the box now.
Am I experiencing the same free?
freezing sensation?
You are.
It is incredibly, incredibly cold.
You feel like if you hold onto it for much longer, your hands will start to adhere to the box
as well.
I will pull my hands away and I will hold it with my mind hand.
It begins to fall, but very quickly it's caught by your mind hand.
You begin to see where there had never been a hand before.
The frost begins to accumulate around it and you see floating in the air a frozen ice hand.
Oh, oh.
I'd like to move Grico out of the freezer.
You pick him up and move him out.
Hoosie is attached firmly to his legs now by permafrost.
Oh, we messed up pretty bad, guys.
I think you'll live.
Yeah, I don't know what he was doing, monkeying around in the freezer.
Was he looking for lids in there?
What the fucking keep a lid in the freezer?
He does ridiculous.
Oh, no, I was looking for.
C cucumber rubber rectangle trials
What did I say?
Was it a pomegranate that he made his home?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I remembered that, nice.
It was a pomegranate.
Oh, oh, that's my finger.
Oh, Putsi, I think we owe you an apology.
You knew that Quica was in here this entire time, didn't you?
Hootie, you're so observant.
Oh, you're so good.
I'm gonna be fun, dude.
She trots into, she walked right past you saying that your friends have you.
She tromp right past you and it knocks a, um,
knocks a jar to the side.
And with her beak, she pulls out an entire box of Robert, uh,
Rectingtank.
Oh, I knew they had.
Oh, there you go.
Who's your favorite, your favorite?
I don't think I need to have a popsicle ever again in the whole life.
Well, let's go get those little ones.
fuckers.
I'll warm up in their
blood as a life
lessons pours all over me.
Just stay next to
the gate.
I'll keep doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe. I have a
banana or two.
Thank you, lads.
Maybe you could use
a few.
Torbeck also would take
one of your offering.
Who would you rip my nipple clean off?
I feel like we should
take a little rest to you because I think
were fucked. I don't got much left of
the tank, fellas.
just hop up on my shoulders man the heat'll rise you'll start you'll start uh thorn
should i leave this strange cold box oh no i think that has the the heart of that guy
which which that really annoying guy the uh that uh depressing elf guy right oh cold heart
yeah cold hands whatever cold hands cold hearts are cold hands we were cold hands cold hands they call them
cold hands Luke cold hands yeah
Cold hands Luke.
Cold hands, cold hands,
Luke's, cold hands, Luke.
Oh, I did it, I never wanted to forget his name.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, and cold hands Luke's heart is in danger.
Yeah, that guy seemed important.
And lack of books.
Well, it's so cool.
How we're gonna transport it?
Just like that.
I mean.
No, no, no, no, no.
Open the box.
Oh.
Well, just put it on the ground room.
As far as I know, it's what keeps the meat locker cool.
Without, as you can see, it's already starting to thaw.
My kitchen's turning to ice, so I'd like you to do something with it.
We can come back for it.
can come back for it.
Right?
I mean, do you mind if you meet spoils
if we take that thing with us?
I have no preference
whether Bev Lourna isn't in fresh meat or raw meat.
That's not.
Yeah, it's Bob Vlora
and her lonings probably prefer
like non-spoorne.
Fuck those little fuckers.
Let's take it.
Can we at least like open it up?
Open it up.
What's in the box?
Flustry, what's in the box?
Put it on the ground.
Yeah, this is my lock pick.
Wow.
I just slammed my, my up.
I'm right. I need a strength athletics check.
Be careful not to destroy the heart.
Are you using your boot?
Yeah, in the fashion of...
I thought you weren't wearing any shoes.
You may have feet.
You're the one who's going to become...
19.
You're the one who's going to become bloody toys.
You are easily able to crush this box,
and your foot immediately feels the...
It immediately feels...
the soft, frozen, wet flesh of a beating heart.
Oh.
You can feel the-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
against the arch of your foot as it pumps.
That's unpleasant.
Oh, guys, this is weird, but I just can't stop.
And you look inside and you see that it's very clear
that this is a human's heart, or a humanoid heart.
I think this is the one.
It's cold hands, Luke.
Cold hands, Luke.
Well, how are we going to transport it
if it will freeze any one of us who holds onto it?
I thought the box was what was cold.
I would say with the breaking of the box,
you can feel the cold dissipating.
It does look like this heart doesn't have that much time
before it's going to be too one to function as hard.
If it function as hard anymore,
but that, yeah, it was the box that was to be.
Can we put it back in the box?
The box is the box not working in there?
Oh, it looks like it broke the box.
Oh, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty,
yeah.
What a dog, can't trip.
Oh, man.
This is got so unstoppable.
I think Mend has been casted in this session,
more than any campaign ever combined at all of this.
Across all, all the indeed.
Yeah.
It takes you about 10 minutes, all of us.
the intricate pieces, but you are able to
mend the box.
It's like from Omaha Steaks.
Where's Omaha?
I think it's a district in Gauntica.
Right next to the China shop?
They sell French trusting me.
Well, I fixed the box.
Let's hope that it maintained its magical properties of cooling.
I put the part back inside.
Does the box remain frigid or have I just...
It does remain frigid.
You are able to close it.
You feel that the cold emanates from this.
If you keep it in this main room,
the kitchen will turn into the meat locker.
So I'm going to assume that you put it back into the meat locker.
There is no door without probably some of maintaining.
A procedure.
No missing place.
Well.
Wow.
Let me just put the mechanism back in place.
Can you even fix this hole in the door?
I don't know.
It's going to take fucking 40 minutes.
We need to wrap us.
And while you were doing that, you guys can enjoy a short run.
Oh, thank you.
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Thank you.
You have all spent almost an hour.
in the kitchen spending time with bloody toes she doesn't make much conversation but she does
respond to your questions and talks to you here and there while she continues to make the meal
you did help her so she doles out large wooden bowls filled with stew for each of you and
it is actually quite delicious it is it is a beef stew hearty potatoes um um
veggies and herbs and she has quite the cook.
She's been doing this for who knows how long and whether she likes it or not, she has found
she has found a bit of a hobby in it and is quite good.
Is it a volt-or in this?
Are you asking her that or are you asking me that?
Well, I'm kind of both, but I'm going to be a character.
Yeah, there's no vulture in it.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
But you eat and you sit around the room and are able to make conversation with
and enjoy an hour to just relax.
Occasionally you hear a bit of chattering outside
and a chuckle, which clearly comes from the naked satyr
dangling over the water.
The rest of the house seems almost unnaturally quiet.
Occasionally, you can hear creaking floorboards ahead of you.
I would say over the course of the hour,
you're able to determine that there is some movement upstairs.
It doesn't happen often, and it's whatever.
whatever it is, is clearly trying to keep it self-mast.
Oh.
But you are able to tell that there is something,
which almost seems to be sneaking about upstairs.
Did you create any bananas for us as well?
No.
I was really looking forward to dipping in the vinegar from like that.
Oh, yeah, no.
I'm almost entirely tapped.
I didn't know if that was a can trip.
That calls me a sloth.
No, yeah.
It's a spelt.
All right, just kidding.
It's good a bit of them.
I washed my stew down with the sips from my pickle jar.
Pickled feathers.
It's a feather in your tea.
Yeah, yeah, it's all over the place.
The vinegar's running down Torbeck's chin.
Nasty.
Well, I've succeeded in repairing the door
and putting the meat box inside
with my hand of my mind.
And you don't mind if we come back
on our way out and we snag that from you?
I don't mind at all, as long as you're dropping off
the exchange.
I will have that for you and, you know.
Well, how far can you teleport?
No, I imagine we can actually just leave the pot here.
As soon as you hear struggling from inside, then it'll mean I've succeeded.
You don't have to see where you're doing it?
You just need to...
You just double-checked that.
Yeah, what's the range on that, too?
It's a pretty good range.
I mean, it depends on how big this house is, but if we need to take it with us, we can, that wouldn't be a problem.
You can't get in to carry it. He doesn't dare nothing normal.
Just chain it to your back or something.
But you put it on the lily pad.
I'm not playing that character
this time
I don't know you're talking about
I do need to be able to see the space
That's where I thought I was a little strong
Isn't the UA Mystic
I'll strap the pot to my back with my
Chain, all right, chains around
Ouch, leave me with the pot
Oh, sir, well
Are you on my bag? What are you doing?
No, I'm on your leg, but you swung it around
and smacked me in the head
Oh, are you okay?
I mean, you just hit like an iron 30-pound hot.
No, I think I'm gonna die now.
Oh, geez, oh, you're playing from the head.
Oh, there's a little bit.
Oh, there's a spare banana.
I'm mashed it up here.
All right.
To be it.
Oh, you can heal people for sure,
and you're allergic to it?
Yep.
I insight check her.
Or, can I tell if she's being truthful?
Yeah, inside checker.
It was a nine?
13.
She's lying.
She has neither, she has neither hurt.
nor allergic to bananas.
It's banana, well, you know,
like, I don't know,
postias or, uh, or death.
I'm really,
I'm gonna smash in her headline,
her gaping bloody headloom.
Uh, I'm dumb, dumb.
What, where'd you get raspberry jam from?
From inside my acorn bag.
Oh.
I'm holding in there.
I've got tons of stuff.
You've been holding out on us, Twitter.
Uh, I've fed you multiple times
from my acorn bag, dumb dumb,
ah, that's pretty true,
I guess you aren't holding out on us at all.
From 10 feet of,
away, a torquack finger comes in and scoos some damn off and then eats it.
And bananas.
You heal three points of dough.
You're kidding.
All right.
Okay, let's go say hello to the naked saver.
Oh, I guess it's right.
It's right here.
We should just cross that off the list.
We're plattening this as probably likes to say.
Well, first bloody toast, do you have a recipe for this?
This was really good.
Or let me, you know, what gives it that special kick?
Well, I've been boiling the broth for nigh on 15 years now.
Nine or 15 years?
Not 900, nigh on.
Oh, man.
Sometimes it's hard to kill.
Oh, Evestoo. That's a very classic trick.
So there's really no way to recreate that unless I want to spell up.
You just have to make sure that the flame never goes out and that you're constantly on.
Well, well, you know what they say, Mr. Crammy?
The best time to start a 15 years.
year old broth was 15 years ago.
The second best time is today.
You know what?
Do they really say that?
Yes.
That was surprisingly wise and poignant, Torebeg.
Well done.
Thank you.
I really like that word poignant.
Well, as a thanks for letting us all enjoy you, Stu.
It's pronounced poignant.
He just ignored me, Gideon.
What?
I just told Cremie a really nice thing, and he ignored me and continued something.
to the red cap.
I think he prefers red cap to Twigs.
I'm just trying to be sure I don't forget to do what I'm doing.
So that's why I'm just trying to make sure.
Anyway, what were you saying, Twig?
I was saying I liked your word choice of poignant.
It's a good word.
Oh, thank you.
On a scribble board, it'd be worth a lot of points.
Oh, you're probably right.
Yeah, but it doesn't have a cue in it, so that sucks.
Yeah.
Unless you like combo at one of the devil.
You know, it'd be really cool.
If Poignant had a cue and like an X or something.
Like, Spionionion?
Yeah, like squionyensk.
Or poignantz.
Yeah.
It's pronounced poignant.
Don't change how you pronounce.
Goodbye.
Let us visit the Gilded Cage Sater.
And before I go, bloody toast, let me offer you to something in return.
And I grab my, I guess I'm wearing my apron.
Out of my apron, I'll pull a few Beaselberries.
Ooh.
She looks toward you.
That looks like Beaselberries.
Exactly.
You probably know all about them, but man, you have this to anything who really kicks it up.
You're on much more wicked than I thought you are.
She reaches out and she takes them.
In your blood loss.
Wait, doesn't that one ever, too?
We crave the iron.
Have to go, have to go.
We crave the iron in your blood.
You watch as she takes them over and she just, she chuckles to herself and tosses them into the pot.
Oh, the sweet release.
I think Coynean is about 11.
And so you are making your way,
you are making your way to the balcony.
I begrudgingly followed Grico out towards the sater.
Oh!
You hop your way over towards the smaller door
that leads the balcony.
You open the door and there are two steps up
to a wooden balcony that is perched
once again over this sheer drop-off
down to the water below.
And you see that there are,
a total of four winches that are attached to wooden planks
that jut out from the side of the house.
And dangling from chains are four cages,
one on each of the winches that are large enough
to house two medium-sized creatures.
All of them are empty, all but one,
in which you see a male Seder, completely naked.
He is looking out over the water,
dangling his, dangling his hooves.
Yeah.
Bad place to stutter there, Nikki.
Oh, are there's two socks with eggs in the room?
Oh, no.
So he's actually beneath you.
So you're stuffing out on the balcony.
The chains come down over the side of the balcony,
and the cages are hanging, are hanging beneath the balcony.
So you're looking down on top of him.
You have a, you have a, I don't know what it's called,
the view of above.
Birds eye view, thank you.
You have a bird's eye view of this naked sater sitting in a cage.
Hey!
There's...
He dangles above these.
This is just like the dunk tank.
Only when Torbeck was in there, there wasn't any dunking,
and they just got hit with rotten fruit.
We've had a lot of money that way.
Yeah.
Yeah, when Crimey even changed the name of the attraction from the duct tank to pelt fruit at the freak.
That was that before after Chump Tank?
I feel like it was
you realize that
first it was dunk tank then chump tank
and then you realize that
oh right of there these peasants
are too stupid to get my genius
pun. We'll change the pelt
fruit at the freak when they make a million
election pieces.
People do anything for it down.
The wind is whipping around you
as you're having this conversation. It's very clear
to you that whatever words
you're saying are being caught up
in the gust of wind
and that the sater clearly can hear nothing.
The noises from him clearly
waffed up as he sings a jauntitude
goes up. I can reach out to him with my mind.
Oh, yeah. I don't know.
Just don't crush it.
I have a little endeavor to
not do that. I wouldn't try to rear right now
either. You don't know what's up.
You might have more than one key.
Mr. Seder.
Hello?
You hear the chains rattle
as the sater looks about
Hello?
Look up.
Is anybody talking to me?
I'm waving to you.
I'm speaking to you in your mind.
Look up.
I'm waving.
Hi.
I'm sorry, what?
Tell them on waving to me.
I'm using my mind to speak to yours,
but only because you can't hear us over the howling winds.
He slowly looks up.
Oh, look at that.
You are up there, aren't you?
Yes.
Greetings.
Hello?
Have I been chosen for the stew?
No.
A lot of do.
These are my companion.
Hello.
We're here to save you.
Oh, well, that's lovely.
Pull my chap up then.
We saw you in a...
I saw you in a dream.
And Crummy didn't believe me.
Was he naked in your dream?
Don't answer that, man. Don't be weird.
Just turn the crane.
That prank.
Well, that's very kind of you.
Thank you, I think.
Cremie didn't believe in you existed.
And now he's being proven wrong right now,
and that he should believe his dearest old Tom Grico.
Gringo.
Pull the chain and pull them up.
It's okay if it was you.
You attempt to, but there is some kind of mechanism
that's preventing you from pulling,
and you are tugging on it, and it's nothing's happening.
Why does chains over it?
What's that?
Making no progress.
I can't get any kind of like, brick one.
My hand, my hair is just slapsed around.
It's disgusting.
It's green.
He's fucking big.
Stop.
Oh, I don't know.
It's going to fill in this.
You see that there is something that's preventing this.
And looking at it, you see that there's a lot of moisture in the air.
There's been a lot of rust that is accumulated on the metal pieces,
and that it's going to take quite a bit of strength to manipulate the wench itself
to pull the rust free, essentially adhering the metal parts together.
Rossi, can you do something about rust?
I can endeavor to.
Oh.
Is that a yes?
What does that mean?
Yeah, otherwise, yeah, I mean, you need to handle the rust because otherwise it would require someone who's really strong to pull all that up.
And we don't have anybody like that.
Hey, man, I already tried once.
It's all greased up the chain.
I can't do anything about it, right?
There is no grease on the chain.
There's no grease on the chain.
I don't know where you got that from.
Oh, it is.
It was an improv thing.
Yeah, sorry, sorry.
How about you, I think you need some leverage.
Just turn the crank.
Oh.
Is there a .
There is, but because it's rusted,
it's not working.
You'd have to use strength and athletics check
to try and.
You don't have a right.
All right.
I thought we were trying to outthink the rust.
I will attempt to help him by using my version
of Prestonetititation to remove the rust that he pulls.
You get tetanus.
I thought you were going to do something about oxygen.
My job.
My fucking job.
My fucking job, Rico.
Yeah.
You may have everything.
Yeah, you know.
Thank you for the tree.
We're just going to go.
Thank you for the twigs.
Thank you for the twigs.
Doorbeck was going to spit on the chains.
I don't remember the first one, but I think it was a two,
and then a seven, and then
Not one.
Oh no.
Yeah.
I think really.
So what was the seven?
14 would be 14.
Oh.
Well, you're lucky that it's only a 12 for DC.
You were advantage though, right?
Yeah, you would have been advantage.
Oh.
I gave him tetanus, but you're still at advantage.
Let's just see how well you do this.
Yeah, let's.
If he gets more ones, I'm sicker.
He's failing and then I say, yeah.
All or seven.
Only a bitch, only a bitch wouldn't be able to pull up.
I'm gonna pull up this.
Yeah.
I'm saying,
give me my free form.
I'm playing this couple of first.
He's got double.
I'm like, to go even further beyond.
You're a plus ultra,
man.
Yeah.
And at first, you are unable.
You are, you are sweating.
Your friends are looking at you.
Grico is heckling you.
As sweat is ripping down your breath.
You were unable to move this.
And, you are unable to move this.
And, you,
you, all eyes are on you.
And you hear twig, you hear twig at your ankle.
You'll be a little bitch, getting.
And you are enraged.
As you pull it forward, you yank the rust free.
And very quickly you hear the sounds of the chains
as the force of the pull causes the,
the knob to spin and spin and spin,
or the handle to spin and spin and the chain
immediately starts to rise.
It takes a couple of minutes
before you see this naked dangling sater
directly in front of your face.
The cage spins around in the air
as he looks at all of you,
completely nude and completely free.
Oh, who's crazy?
Hello.
My name is Morning Frost.
Good to meet you.
Well, that's one half of the ordeal dealt with.
I'm assuming you have the key for the cage.
Who did you turn around?
No.
Do we have the key for the cage?
You don't.
Why are you naked?
This was how I was put in here on my birthday suit.
Did they take your clothes?
Yes, they did, and everything else that I had on me.
Frost and make you new clothes.
I need damaged clothes to mend.
The name is Vansel, by the way.
It's nice to you.
Vansel?
Vansel.
Vonsal.
Vonsal.
Vonsal.
My name is Grinogungring.
This is my best mate Frosty.
This is me other best mate Torbeck.
This is me of a best mate Gideon, who is very strong boy.
And this is me other best mate,
Cummy, and this is my other best mate, Twig.
Well, it is lovely to meet all of you.
Yes, I was put in here in the nude,
because I was meant for food.
Oh, that rhymed, oh, satis, aren't we the best?
Mm-hmm.
Do you, I mean, you seem awfully chipper about it.
You like being in that cage?
No, not at all.
Oh.
But when you're in a situation like this with nowhere to go,
I could be upset, or I could be happy.
Being upset is uncomfortable, and I don't like it.
It's not usually a joint for my...
So if I'm happy, then yes, I'm stuck in a cage, and I'm naked,
and my giblets are hanging out for the world to see,
but at least I'm enjoying it.
Bouncing back and forth in the wind, like a speedball.
How far out from the balcony?
He's about two feet.
So we could, like, reaching the cage and touch it?
Yes.
He would like...
He would like it.
He was making about it.
Torback definitely.
Does the cage...
Is he like the old
like the old school paintings where their dick
is like half the size of their torso?
If we're going to talk about it,
he's very well endowed.
Does the cage feel magical?
Or does it just feel like it's made of metal?
It just feels like a cage.
Let's Endeavour do, open this cage.
People were meant to be put in cages.
People were?
We're not.
meant to be put. Why would you think I would say people
It's howling wind, you have to speak up.
Damn it!
Which is quite loud out here.
Fournette you have. Yes.
Do you ever communicate via like astral projection
or something to Grico here?
No. Not even once.
I heard you had a dream about me.
I did. I didn't recall
that you had your
parts out.
Oh, my poison berries.
Or beesle berries.
Who's keeping track?
I don't try for all.
with a Beaselberry and Humane.
I didn't see that.
This is here to see me, daughter,
but you shouldn't, just don't leave her alone, please.
Don't leave her alone?
No, leave her alone.
Just don't talk to her, don't talk,
talk to her, please.
I don't speak Albert.
But Kremi didn't believe that you existed.
And he fought.
That's not very nice.
No, no, it's, I keep trying to explain.
It's not that I didn't believe you existed.
It's just that because he had a dream about it
didn't mean that you did exist.
Does that make sense?
Yes, that's true.
Just because...
No.
Just because you don't think something
means something exists, doesn't mean that you believe it doesn't exist.
What?
Right?
I don't think I followed.
Kremi was gas-lighting me and being a very poor friend.
I said,
Oh, what I do.
You're an idiot, Grin.
How can you believe a dream?
We're for Seder in a cage.
That sounds like some poetic nonsense.
A gilded gauge.
What's this nonsense?
Well, there's nothing gilded about this cage.
It's cast iron.
Oh.
It's quite steep.
Maybe there was a little bit of poetic dream magic.
Anyway, do we want him out now?
Or should we wait until after we figure out what to do about Bevlornah?
I think we try to get him out now.
Okay.
Hey, grab my hand.
All right.
And he reaches out and grabs your hand.
As soon as he touches my hand, I cast a mention door and I appear on the other side of Cremie with him next to me, provided it
like I could carry him.
Yeah, I will say that works just fine.
What does that look like?
Oh, well, look at that.
You're like good.
I'm out of my cage.
Oh, wow.
That works.
Oh, Torbeck doesn't feel like you can do that again.
Whoa.
He claspsed your hands.
Thank you so much, good, sir.
It's the least that Torbett can do.
You were quite a spectacular specimen.
Oh, stop.
Your friends are lucky to have you.
Oh, thank you.
Speaking of this, this feels quite lucky, don't you think?
Well, yeah, let's not breeze past the fact
you just teleported you out of the fucking cage.
It's incredible.
Could you always do that?
You'd had a dream of me.
You teleported me out of the cage.
By pure happenstance, we've found ourselves
in each other's presence.
You know, at this...
Hmm.
What?
This, this, this requires a reward.
And he walks over, fully naked.
And you see, he runs his hand
along the wooden slats of the house.
Stop!
This is unrelated.
He walks past Brick and Gurk and goes like,
get that thing like, stop.
And he, um,
he runs his hand along the wooden slats of the house.
No, this won't do.
No, this won't do.
Please stop.
It's nice and the left that he's naked.
It's not me being a pervert.
Whoa.
And he looks around and, no, this one.
This won't do, this won't do.
And then he begins to,
he begins to look towards the,
towards the bottom portion.
Do you want, do you want what's gonna happen here?
You wanna keep being, I wanna know.
What's gonna happen?
You wanna get in the head of all, okay?
God.
And he, he begins to notice some,
some type of creeping plant that has been making its way
up the side of the house.
And bits of the, bits of the twigs
are peeking out from beneath the balcony.
And he looks down, well, this will do.
And he snaps it off.
And he pulls it in his hand for a minute.
And he twirls it around in his fingers
as he looks at all of you and smiles,
yes, today is quite a lucky day.
And he gives it a wry smile and he blows onto the twig.
And it begins to sprout flowers.
one large blooming rose at the very top.
This is very clearly not a rose plant.
He spins it around in his hand and he tosses it out to you.
And Frost, you immediately see as the light shines on this,
they glint of magic as it holds itself aloft in the air
for just a second for any of you to grab.
Wait, the twig is a rose now?
Oh, the rose.
Yeah, it's just a rose.
Is floating there?
Yeah.
A tail is old as time.
What does it do, Mr.
Oh, gosh, I've already forgot your name.
If you don't want it, I'll take it back.
It's Vancell, and I think that it's Torbeck.
You won a name.
Torbeck didn't want to insist, but okay.
I snatched out of it.
Yes, luck would be on all of our sides today.
Tata for now.
and with a wry smile, he turns and jumps off of the balcony and disappears.
Oh.
Do we see why?
You listen and you hear no sounds.
And then you hear the flapping of wings for but a second.
And then silence.
The Brack is very confused.
What is that special rose thing?
Are you lucky now?
No, no.
He gave you something precious.
You may have to spend ten minutes with it to understand its power.
It may be able to benefit you in some magical way.
Don't eat it.
You've been gifted a kiss from a rose.
You should hold on to it.
Okay.
That was all pretty weird, though, wasn't it?
Well, I just want to know how you were able to teleport.
Have you always...
Oh, yeah.
Tormex felt like Tormec can do that ever since he ate that piece of glass.
I had that spit in it.
Toribax got another one right here.
And I pull out another vial of Flamorian spit.
Oh.
What kind of spit is that?
You show that spit?
No, it just kind of tasted like spit.
You feel this rose in your hand.
It thrums with magic.
I love that word, thank you, dear.
Thrums with magic.
And as you look at it, you see that it is nearly
pristine. And it does not seem in any way like it is, like it is wilting. It is eternal in its magical state. And having it on your person, you feel lucky. I will say just for the sake of, since you just had a rest, it functions like a luckstone. While having it on your person, you gain a plus one bonus to ability checks and saving throws. As soon as Torbeck touches it, it wills.
Oh, naked as well.
And when Torbegg's roses and bloom.
Torbeck is feeling a little lucky today.
Well, we did something good today.
Gosh, we're saving all of these pooled-folk folks.
You know, Hootsey, odd-note, you can turn it back around us.
The naked man's gone.
I know that you voted to not kill her.
But look at all of the nice people
where she's done bad stuff too.
Murder?
Murder, right?
Cremie, aren't you gonna with us now too?
I mean, here's the thing.
We have no idea what she's capable.
I mean, she won't be able to blink and snap on X.
Instinct, we have no fucking clue.
Oh, long to see her try.
And so I just don't wanna, you know,
bust the door down.
And I'm happy to, you know, do all the sneaky stuff behind the back.
That's all fine.
You know, she might have eyes on us, you know, every fucking step of the way.
She might have full knowledge of what the fuck we're doing.
She knows what he is.
She has my hat.
Presumably.
So it's not like when we open the door, it's not like she's going to be surprised.
I'm sure we'll get your hat back.
I would very much like it back.
I know we will.
It is not left this place.
at all.
It's not gone, Cremie.
Don't think that I'm lying to you.
I didn't think, well, I didn't, but...
Do not think that I'm lying to you, Cremie.
Your hat is here!
I don't know, why would you even doubt,
I don't think bandage.
It sounds very sure, so...
I have to.
21.
You have to roll.
four.
What the fuck are you saying?
You're saying that my hat's not here?
No, why would you say that?
Because of how you're acting?
Why would you doubt me?
What happened to my hat, Grasco?
If your hat left the confines of this hut
and perhaps
hiver before my ability to track it left,
then I would tell you.
Clearly you fucking wouldn't.
What happened in my hat, Gricka?
What do you know?
Tell me every fucking thing you know about my hat.
Oh my God.
It's okay, buddy.
It's okay.
All right, we're gonna find the hat.
All right, it's okay.
It's gonna be up there, all right?
Dissolving in a fucking gross acid slime.
Can you remind me, Dungeon Mistress,
what I noticed before it.
I thought it was just the spell.
You noticed that it went two floors up from where you were.
So it wasn't on the floor that you were at now.
It went even higher.
And that before the spell ended, you sensed that it disappeared from this plane of existence.
Oh, the idiot has no hold.
Oh, I'm not lying, because when I lie, I have an easy tell.
I start talking really loud.
And I'm not doing that right now.
So I would never lie than you, Cremie.
Look, Grico, I won't be mad.
All right?
Just tell me what happens.
happened to my hat.
Well, it may not be in your...
It may...
It's not on this plane of existence anymore.
It's not on this fucking plane of existence.
Hey, it was all of the spirits,
the primal spirits of nature monsters.
It could be wrong.
My spell could have failed.
I'm not a divination, was it?
It didn't fail, did it?
I called upon...
I call upon a funky gorilla who plays the bondos
and makes bananas from it.
That's a good point.
He's a really groovy.
He's a real groovy guy.
You know, I call upon a gross frog guy and have a spirit tongue lash out of people.
I have a super smart, two-headed vulture monster kind of say,
Oh, you will fly now and be wise.
You know, I'm not a divination, wizard.
But according to the powers of the spirits of monstrosities,
your hat is no longer in the hut.
said you speak.
I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
Why don't you fucking tell me?
Because I didn't want you to be all stressed out.
Well, now I'm all stressed out about it.
Well, that's what I did I do?
Now you're going to be...
Oh, wait.
If I say that she took your hat away, would you now before I'm killing her?
I should have told you immediately.
No, no, now I have to make a deal with it to get it back.
She gives things that we're lost, doesn't she?
Now my hat's lost.
Now I got to give her away like half my soul to get my...
My hat back.
Oh, no.
You think I'm happy about that, Greg?
No, no, no.
No, what we will do is we will solve this problem through unbelievable violence.
And then it's just gone forever.
We just kill her and oh, goodbye hat.
We'll find the hat, man.
We'll find the hat, right?
We'll find your hat.
She keeps people chained up.
She keeps people locked in cages.
Yep.
And people are very nice things in boxes, right?
like and locks them in ice lockers, right?
Some shit just ain't right, Krami.
We'll either find it or we'll buy you a new hat.
Look, that's not an option.
That was a nice hat.
It was a fine hat.
Okay, okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Stop talking, man.
Stop talking.
No, that's why.
You're sort of fine.
Oh, God.
No, it's okay, man.
It's okay.
Frosty.
We'll find the hat.
It's okay.
No, no, no, no.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Okay.
If you wonder how I could make you a new one.
You know, I really appreciate
Santa Missing style.
Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean.
Your heart is incredibly large and shaped, kind of weird,
but I think I could do it.
It was spoke, it was.
I know.
It was.
You're spoken about it right now.
No, it was, look, all I'm saying is that
I'm just willing to give up a lot
to get my hat back,
and then we can kill her, all right?
Let me make a damn first.
That's all I'm gonna say.
But here's my question, okay?
I don't know all the things that you guys know.
But if it's not on this plane of existence,
doesn't that mean that she doesn't have it?
Because if she eaten it like you suggested,
it'd still be in this plane of assistance.
It would just be inside of her belly.
Well, I mean.
And then she'd poop it out.
So it would still be here.
It'd just be in poop.
And then Frosty could fix it.
Mend it, yeah.
I would be able to mend it, yes.
I would never really be the same.
You can't get a hag swoop out.
It's frog hag poop, yeah.
Well, maybe she knows where it went.
Even if it's not here.
Look, if we're lucky, maybe she just put it in a bag of holding.
Hey, that guy said we were lucky.
He did.
He did.
Whoa!
Hey!
Hey!
You know what?
No, we're talking.
Has a nice bag of holding that she keeps stuff in,
and I think that's technically a different plane of existence.
I don't know what that means.
Yeah, don't look at Torb.
Don't look at an economic check to confirm that Kremi would know that.
I would say, yeah, you don't even need to do that because Twig, no.
Oh, Twig, you can confirm that?
That technically is a bag.
Hold on.
So maybe she just knocked the hat through it right in the bag, and that's that.
And I just ask her for it and I say, oh, I just got to give up.
I don't think you're going to be able to ask her for her.
I think you're going to have to make a deal to get it back.
Yeah, that's fine. I mean, I'm happy to do that.
No, no, it's blue.
No, it's blue.
I've been thinking about what.
of things I'm going to ask for and deal with that.
No, tweet, no, no, no.
No one is making a deal with us.
We have to agree not to make any deals.
But I've wanted, though.
No, no.
I've never had an opportunity to make a deal before.
Well, we can make a deal right now.
Okay, about what?
I don't know.
What do you want?
I don't know.
You put me on the spot now.
Yeah, I thought you said you had lots of ideas.
Yeah, for Bablornah, not for you.
Well, I'm, I'm Frost Lerna now.
Just use whatever idea you had for her on me, and we'll figure out.
But you don't have the magic.
You don't know.
Well, I don't think you do.
Here's a deal, here's a deal, all right?
You don't make a deal with her, and I'll let you run up me five times and do backflips.
I was going to do that anyway.
Well, five times.
She has you that.
She's going to do it anyway.
Let's all break the tension and relax.
Can I run up Torbeck?
Huh?
Hi, Torbeck.
Hey, Twing.
Can I run up you and be back?
Of course.
See, I didn't make a deal.
No, you're supposed to go to death.
Dang it!
Come on, man!
Torbache was looking at his flower!
He is an ice flower.
Tori doesn't know what's going on!
What I'm going on?
What I'm going to ask for, though, is...
You know, you guys...
You guys came to my rescue, you know?
Anything for my life when they was gonna hold me for ransom?
I mean, sure, it was also my fault that they was gonna take my life,
because I was your friend.
But they were gonna, you came to me rescue anyway, you know?
And that kind of set you back a little bit.
So I thought maybe I'd see if I could barter for more time.
Well, that's a good idea, Twig.
I don't think you should be the one that has to barter for that.
I think the rest of us can figure it out.
Yeah, but you all need stuff, though.
Torbeck needs answers about the other.
Mm-hmm.
Do you need help with your debt?
Gideon's married to way too many people.
Oh, we're going to come with that.
Grickle has athletes' foot.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, do you pick that up?
Hyper-realistic, Zerun.
Everyone, I still refuse to wear shoes.
Speed and fast-hacket in the Angelo.
Frost is really smart,
but he could use some common sense, no offense.
Oh, he got it.
Boom, roasted.
Well, crazy.
It's not, it's not a roast if you say no offense before or after you say it.
It still feels roasted.
How come it's cold out here?
Not where he is.
This is what I mean.
I feel like tensions are a little high,
so let's all break attention and do a relaxing activity,
of murdering a couple of those little fuckers.
You know what?
Whatever we feel a lot better.
We did a great toolback.
We did a great thing of saving Mr. V.
Bonzell.
That was kind of weird, huh?
Vonsle.
Vonsal.
Vonsal.
Vonsal.
Vancele.
Vancell.
Vancell.
Vancell.
Vancell.
Yes with the Vancell.
Vancell.
Oh, God.
That's imagined.
Dragon.
I'm imagining dragons right now
But not for
I did
Oh god
Advertisers would like to your
Revenue
And just like that
It's all over
We will protect their copyright
Jesus
To real
Order is beyond
Comprehensive
Can we just move on
No I was saying
Everyone
Would everyone feel a lot better if we can see those little fuckers get their head smashed in?
Hey?
I need to let off a little steam.
But did anyone notice the way that Thadre guy smiled?
To be honest, I wasn't looking at.
I smiled.
I had to look up past, I was like, I'll just look at the wall.
I looked at the wall, honestly.
I saw the Sater smiling.
Yeah, there's just something about it that was weird, you know?
Well, he turned into some kind of flying creeks.
Yeah, I'd say he was pretty weird.
Torbay was very concerned when he launched himself over the edge after we saved him.
What you don't mean, he'd turn into a flying creature.
Oh, you didn't hear that?
I mean, he fell into the clouds, and then we heard flapping away.
How do you know that was him and not something?
Maybe he just landed on a bird or something.
No, I think he transformed.
Well, it's still pretty fucking weird.
He jumped off the ledge.
I mean, it all seemed a thing.
And the fact that he was so happy being naked in a cage for so long.
Well, that's not too bad.
Take it from Torback.
Maybe he had a flying friend that maybe, you know, flapped us.
Well, but then we would have heard the wings coming.
There was just something about it that seemed very, what's the word for, Gregor?
You're the master of words.
Uncanny?
No.
Mysterious?
Nah.
Unusual?
Nah.
Out of place.
Well, no.
Strange.
Unnatural.
Different, unnatural.
No, no, it's on the tip of me tongue.
Unlikely.
No.
Bizarro?
No, no, no, no.
Oh, oh, something that probably shouldn't have happened but did anyway.
Yeah, that's it.
Let's go murder.
Nothing bad will come of this.
And Torbeck will take the blue rose and, like, tuck it into his lapel and fix it on the outside of his jacket.
So that there's this blue rose.
It's a red rose.
Oh, it's red rose.
sorry, that he's, I don't know why I think he said it was blue.
Maybe I accidentally did, but.
Okay, I'm just going absolutely insane.
I fixed the rose to my lapel and I, uh,
I'm wearing it.
My lo.
And those really nice on sun.
Thank you.
Shall we proceed?
Let's go.
Yeah, where do we go?
Pairs nicely with your scoff, pullback.
Let's go.
We continue.
You make your way back into the kitchens.
Bloody toes doesn't even look up at you
as you mill about.
And I'm assuming you were making your way to the hallway,
which you believe leads to the dining room.
We're trying to.
She's like the NPC where when we go back into the room
and we go up and press A,
she's her back's turn and it's just dot dot dot, dot.
Oh yeah.
That's exactly.
Yep, yep, yep.
You walk out of the room and you find yourselves in a long hallway.
There are three doors that line this hallway.
There's one immediately in front of you,
and as you walk towards it,
you can hear noises.
You can hear chattering and sounds.
This door is far larger than all of the others,
and the frame around it is more ornate.
and you press your ear up to it and you listen
and it is very clear that they're two
feminine voices.
We're having a conversation in this room.
You step back from the door a little bit
and continue to look down the hall
and you notice that halfway down the hall
between this door and a smaller one,
there's a large ornate mirror.
Nothing else lines the walls.
It's just this one mirror.
that stands there alone.
Then further down, you have a
smaller door, which looks similar to this one,
an ornate frame. It's just
more demure,
or minuscule in size compared to this one.
And directly opposite it is
almost a door in the exact same style
facing the other way.
Does the mirror look like the one downstairs?
It does.
Are we still on the second floor?
Yeah. Okay. So we're on the same
for as the kitchen. Just a different part of the hut. Yeah, so you basically walked out of the kitchen
this way. There's a hallway that goes down this way. There is the large door here that you're
facing. There's a mirror. There's a smaller door and then there's another. Okay. Got it.
Brigo, what are you trying to say? I think we should not go down to this door and go to the one
over here. He believes that we should go through this door that he just indicated.
Why? Because I don't think they're talking in there that it's not, it's, it's, it's,
Wait, who's talking?
Do I recognize any of the voices?
I would say roll a perception check
to see what you can hear.
Natural one?
Oh, boy.
I will twist it.
You're wise.
From a certain point of view.
16, actually.
16.
You press your ear up against the door, and you begin to listen.
Okay.
And at first you just hear mumblings.
And then you hear,
well, yes, inside of that giant log of her,
she does all manner of things.
Everyone talks about it.
She is quite despicable, really.
Nobody likes her at all.
Okay.
And then you hear a bit of grumbling,
and then you hear,
this is what I would like to hear.
I'm glad my sister is not faring so well inside of this.
Okay.
Yes, now we must talk about the paintings.
And that's the last part that you hear before.
You hear the clattering of metal spoons on China, the pouring of tea, other strange noises.
There is that the two longlings?
It's the darkling and the end of Bavlona?
You know what that means?
Where the fuck to my hat go?
He doesn't.
Say where you are.
Stay calm.
We need to get the lornlings.
We can't just confront Bavlorner.
His paintings.
The sister's not doing well.
She's kind of, she sucks.
Stayed whispers.
Stabber.
Scabber kind of sucks.
She fucking sucks.
What are you trying to say?
And there's portrait.
Let's keep going.
We don't have time for a boss fight right now.
No, no, no, I agree.
The boss fight is at the end of the dungeon, Grammy.
All right.
I follow me.
We need to literally lure the other,
the general away from the boss,
so it's not too at one.
You know how it goes.
We go to the other door.
We follow through.
Do you?
You make your way,
you make your way
through the hallway.
You are walking,
as carefully as possible so as not to make any noises on the swollen wood of the floor.
And as you pass the mirror, each of you turns and looks at it and you see that as you pass,
whatever expression you had on your face disappears, and all you see is a malevolent smile, smiling back in you.
You move to the side and you change your expression for a moment and you give yourself a look of jubilence.
of jubilence and you step in front of the mirror and you see that the jubilence quickly fades
into that malevolent smile yet again. You move out of the way and you frown. As you move
back into the mirror, you watch as that frown turns back into that malevolent smile. You can
continue down the hall until you make your way to the two doors on either side.
And we feel like we're far enough away from the dining room?
I would say yes, you feel like you're far enough way that you can whisper to each other and talk.
comfortably. There's some portraits that they're talking about. They're important, importune.
That's a bit of a strange. Yeah, you're right.
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Anyway, they're plotting against, I think, Sca Bifah, because I hate Scavifer.
Dork understands the importance of the arts, but not necessarily in this context.
I think it's a magic bids, you know what I mean?
It's a little bit of, ooh.
Well, maybe if she's using mirrors,
maybe one of the other sisters uses portraits.
Well, just like these dolls, too.
Oh, we need to find, I feel like,
I didn't recognize one of the voices, right?
I didn't recognize who she was talking to.
So maybe there's a darkling,
which is, what is the boss of the folks
that we tear at it?
with, that she might be friends with, who works for scaboth.
And is actually secretly giving a barce or secrets to Bavona.
So it's a bit of double-crossery.
See what I mean?
So like a double-double agent.
A double-adent.
Oh, that's exactly me.
My guess is that she tells Bavlona,
What scapher wants her to tell?
So it is a double, double agent.
So Bavlona has the wool proverbably being pulled over her arms.
I don't know why I feel like that,
but that just feels like something that would be very sneaky.
So it sounds like before we killed Bavlona,
we had to maybe kill that dog, but then.
Is that right?
That is TBD.
I'll feel like she could be useful.
you know what I mean
we gotta find these
lonelings right
if they're in the dining room
but they're sitting in the dining room
isn't that where she said the lollings ain't
well we gotta find up a little fuckers
to kill us a million of
a million of them
a million of the
doors
big one
this one
do you pick the door against the wall with the mirror
or the door
Opposite. Away from the mirror as possible.
You reach out and you open the door, and it is, it opens easily.
And you find yourself in what appears to be a dining room.
This room has two exits.
Above each door, mounted on a wooden plaque, is a severed goblin head with its mouth the gate.
Other furnishings include a sideboard, two cupboards with doors made a door.
of wood-framed glass and a large banquet table covered with plates of half-eaten food
and a swarm of feasting flies.
A chandelier hangs above the table.
It's tallow candles filling the room with dim, flickering light.
Six mismatched chairs flank the table.
Three chairs per side.
The room itself seems quiet as you step inside the carpeting on this floor
completely muffles any noise that you would make walking throughout this place.
you shut the door behind you
and you look up and you
see only because you
know that they're there
peeking out from the darkness
above each one of the doors
inside of the mouth
the open mouths of these goblin heads
the eyes of two lornelings as they look out
at you. Ready the lid
get in. It's all chained up man
I mean it's all chained up man
you say that aloud
good good good
what a lovely dining room this is
Oh, I would like to darn here.
Hey, hey, don't shout, man.
But charming decorations, the severed heads of my kinsman.
As soon as I get close enough, the range is like 90 feet,
but as soon as I feel like I can grab them both.
So there are doors on either side of the room,
the one you came in, and one that looks like
it actually goes to the kitchens that you came from,
but you saw no door where this would have led to.
And above each one of those doors on opposite ends of the room is a goblin, a mounted goblin head.
Are they both within 90 feet?
I would say yes.
The room isn't that big.
Okay, then I would.
As long as you can do them both.
I would like to do them both.
Explain to me what you're doing.
I am going to cast Vortex warp, but I'm going to twin it.
Oh.
That's cast it.
Which is expensive.
and hopefully worth it.
Oh, boy.
Sorcerers, everybody.
Yeah, that's my beans.
So what does this look like?
What are you doing?
Describe to me what the scene looks like.
I will, yeah, I'll have pulled my hood up.
And thank you.
I will have my hands in my robes,
and then I'll sort of get to the center of the dining room
where I feel I'm at a good equidistant
from both of them. You're standing next to the table. The smell of the rotting food
reaches your nostrils at this point and your stomach turns. You look down and you see the
flies feasting a rotting a rotting haunch of meat. Some spoiled moldy soup. I will fake a yawn
and let my arms come out like this. And then as soon as both of them are in at the end of my
hands where I feel like I can get one one in the other, almost like pulling a psionic chain. I will
pull them and endeavor to whip them into the into the pot.
In an instant, you watch as these things are yanked out of the heads of these mounted goblin,
or out of the mouths of these mounted goblin heads,
and you see as they're brought together, they clank against each other,
like very three stooges as their heads smack into each other,
and they let out a yelp as they're tossed into the pot.
They may make a constitution saving project to avoid this, DC-50.
Perfect.
15?
Otherwise, they will not be popped into the pot.
You're all the two and an 11.
Oh, I accept it.
Amazing.
So this happens as they're tossed into the pot.
Gideon, you go to grab the lid and put the lid on top.
You feel their hands push up against it, and then you hear,
No, no, no.
And that's where we'll end the session.
Oh, snap.
I didn't see that coming.
Holy.
Well done, Frost.
I'm just glad I did the thing.
Well done, man.
I didn't remember that as chuckles.
Yeah.
The twin spell on the fucking, it's legal.
I was twin spell and quicken spell.
Yeah.
Twin is nasty.
I have four different sorcery things that I can do.
Oh, I took, I took, yeah, because I took as a feat at when we got to level four, I took
extra meta-magic.
Meta-magic adapt.
Yeah.
And so I have two additions.
Sorsary point things.
That is very flexible.
Hence why I will do the movie.
So that was very expensive, but totally worth it.
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