Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 4 | Lose Your Illusion

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

In their quest to visit EVERY. SINGLE. ATTRACTION. the party returns to the corn maze...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/lqApKklqtYY?si=eNEEkTNvxo_UXgPC

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. Greetings. I'm Morning Frost, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Fairy cake eating contests will begin in two-minute shop. The goal is simple. Eat as many cupcakes as you can within 60 seconds. Prepare your mouths. There can only be one winner.

It's mind over cupcake, idiot. I only have one question for you. What do you want to get to eat after this? Pixie comes over to you and lifts your arm into the air. Oh, yeah. They have someone come over and paint your pictures. They take it over to the cupboard of Cupcake Chads, and they put your face up there.

There's nothing, Mr. Light likes more than a sea of smiling faces. The carnival's happy, he's happy. So, looks like you've done the carnivalist service, friends. Well, I'm really not supposed to talk about this, but. Oh, yeah, yeah, continue, continue. The Carnival can't run without Mr. Witch's pocket watch. I hope he never loses that thing. You just encounter random NPC dialogue?

Mr. Witch and Mr. Light aren't the carnival's original owners, you know? No. I don't know, man. You want to ride on the dragonflies? I heard this weird whispering come from the bushes over there. No one else seemed to hear, whatever. Sticking to those leaves appears to. be four or five black feathers. These are feathers clearly of a Kenku.

Yeah, there's been a Kenku terrorizing the Witch Lake Carnival for quite a while now. Terrorizing. Mr. Wish and Mr. Light would be really interested to find out about this. Oh. I'm not supposed to tell you that. You all stand within the uh, within the portion of the carnival that you have just experienced, uh, you are near the Dragon Fight rides, and you have just rescued the dwarf that had been almost carried away by one of these rogue dragonflies. And in the course of all of this, Kremi notices some movement, and he is told by Northwind that something strange had happened off to the side.

And with quick movement, he blasts his Eldridge Blast into part of the Underbrush. And you all go to investigate to find that there are three feathers that clearly belong to a Kenku. It is at this moment that Northwind informs you that the carnival has been plagued by a rogue Kenku for a while, a Kenku that has been sowing distrust and causing havoc and attempting to lower the overall mood of the carnival. He looks at you all and, yeah, man, he's just going to. kind of a buzz kill, you know? Hmm. I mean, what kind of buzzes are?

Is he, is he killing? I mean, is he like, hardly bottom line or? No, like, you got one. Is he a terrorist? I mean, what are he trying to say? Huh? I mean, you're saying this, Kanku's causing trouble, and I'm trying to ask what kind of trouble he's caused. Are you suggesting that the Kanku is politically motivated?

Well, I don't know. I mean, they're like, do I know anything about the Faye Wild, actually? I would say probably not. Never mind. Oh, you was gonna say you loves the unicorns. Oh, yeah, I love unicorns. Yes, I'm curious about Cremi's question as well. What is the nature of the Buzz killing that he was doing?

Well, nobody really knows much about the Cancoe from being quite honest with you. And I'm not supposed to say this, but he's like really frustrating Mr. Witch and Mr. Light. So, you know, people are trying to find them, but no luck so far. Was the mischief that we just experienced something that was like... Oh, yeah. If you found Cancou feathers over there, that is totally signs that the Cancoups, like, messed with their dragonflies. Well, you could have killed that dwarf. That's...

Yeah, that would have really lowered the mood. Oh, he could have killed a dragonfly even worse. Seriously. Oh, those poor beautiful creatures. I have to ask you. I mean, it's not nearly as, I mean, I shouldn't say this, but it's not nearly as bad as what happened over at the Hall of Illusions.

That poor mime. Did a mom die? Worse than death. Oh, he got punched so hard that he kept pulling a rope that wasn't really there until he died. Does he persistently haunt anybody at the Hall of illusions? Is that what happened to him? Well, I mean, he's persistently

at the Hall of Illusions. Oh, they left the body, huh? It's not good for business. Well, I mean, I guess if whatever fella accidentally punt, I mean, intentionally punched but accidentally killed the mine, if they were

subsequently haunted, they wouldn't hear much. Look, I'm not sure how important that distinction is, all right? I have no idea what you guys were talking about. Oh. Look, the Crimmie may have accidentally killed a Kinkoo. Oh no, you totally didn't kill the Kanku. What we're trying to ask is if we take care of this Kanku problem for you, is there some kind of genuine reward?

I mean, you could ask Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, but I don't know if you can even get an audience with them. They're like, I'm sure they'd be pretty stoked. Hmm. So if we're proactive, fellas, and we think that we can, you know, grease some wheels, here and maybe use that as a front to steal pocket watch. Can we attempt not to kill the Cancunctu and perhaps just capture him? I know that your beams destroyed this bush. Had it hit the Cancou, do you think that the cancou could potentially have died?

Let me check. No, I rolled the one. Oh, but there's some bloody berry jam. Oh, that's totally not bloody. It just berries the pot. Oh, gosh, I thought it would just be like my uncle used to make. It's just cherries berries. Bloody, oh. It tastes quite delicious.

That's what tastes like more. Oh. You know, you can't just stop it just one little dollop. That's what I call it cherries berries. I gotta get back to the rest of the dragonfly rides, and I'm probably gonna wake up red soon, so. Thanks. Oh, yeah, Sarah, for the root comment from a friend about his lovely scat jar.

Oh, yeah. I feel awful. I'll just, you know... Yeah, he's been crying in his hollow since you got here. I'm very... I'm very sorry. And hopefully he enjoys Marcosccio, peace offering an apology token.

I'll let him know. All right, I gotta go shackle up these dragonflies. So I know. See you later. All right, bye. Goodbye. And he turns and slowly walks around and heads back and you see that he's like taking some ropes

and helping to calm the dragonflies and getting them put back into their harnesses and back on their individual lily pads. As a line spreads its way out from the dragonfly rides, you can see that there is quite a lot of commotion around here, but it's slowly starting to calm down as North Wind gets the ride under control. As I was saying, Grimmie,

I think we should try to do everything we can to just capture the Cancou. If we kill someone here, I don't know if there are carnival laws that might be applied or carnival jails. There's nothing on the map. So perhaps we would just be disappeared at as well. I don't want to...

And how would that affect the mood? I mean, if it's like a righteous killing, is that like, yay? That's what I mean, if this guy's a pest, and he's causing problems with the carnival, I mean, you know, the thing is kids done to pickpockets and near-do-wells that have slunk around our carnival. And other kinds of pests. Yeah, really any kind of mild inconvenience.

They meet the same face. Yeah, I just say, hey, get, take care of him. And then his fists are all bloody. Does your beam have some sort of stun setting? Um, uh, no. Do your fists have some sort of stun setting? Yeah, actually, I can stun them. I haven't yet, but I don't know that I can't have that.

I just go straight for now. Frosty, how's the old... Oh, am I feeling, uh, unoiled in my... mouth. There's still a lingering oil taste, especially when you rub your tongue around your teeth. It's almost like the crevices in your mouth have retained that oil taste, but as you continue to drink water, it washes it away. Oh. Okay, it doesn't need water. It'll go away soon. How do I look? Good. I'm glad to hear it. How do I look? I mean, you have still been recently punched by Gideon. Oh, no. I became very shy and bishonanen and then very handsome.

Yeah, what do you keep saying? And then very protagonistical. And then I became a horrible Eldridge abomination. Combo, really, it's a Matrix. And then I ate some taffy. Yeah, and now you look like yourself just with a swollen half of your face where Gideon Punch, too.

How do I look? About the same. Back to normal, except for the yellowing bruise. That's good. I mean, I still have a strange desire to sail through the ether on my membranous wings while also simultaneously confessing to Senpai at the festival but having it get drowned out by the fireworks.

But other than that, I'll feel back to normal. Do they serve Senpai here? That's the question. I've had pumpkin pie. I've had cherry pie. I never had no Senpai. It sounds like the beginning of the song. I'm looking at the map.

I'm wondering... I mean... Never mind. Let's move on. Let's move on. Quick. Speaking of moving on, I'd propose we go back to the feasting orchard. You recall there was a maze.

Oh. Would you guys like to explore said maze? It sounds like an interesting test of our memory and logic. We were really going to platinum this whole carnival. Oh, yes. It's right next to us. We'd have to walk all the way back if we went all the way to the gondola swans. There's a way point on our map here.

stop flash from until we go at least in Florida. Oh, there's a piece of heart up there. How are we going to make it up full feet? Just follow the yellow pips. Oh. Oh, in a golden scotula. It's a spider and a skull. That's too.

All right, leave it away. Okay, we're going to be amazed. I'm just going to let you go. We sprint. It's a big wild unchained. You make your way back to the feasting And while you are making your way, I'm going to assume that you're keeping your eyes out

for any signs of Kenku. And you notice nothing. You see no signs of feathers, no signs of anything else. I would, however, like you to make a group perception check. Oh, I need a character sheet for this campaign, don't I? Oh, who'd say? I need a character sheet for this campaign.

You're still balancing that tiny pumpkin so cute. Oh, you're so, such a good surface hour. I hope you make it to the end, Hootsey. Oh, yes. I'm envisioning, do you remember that Corgi? What happened to, Hazeel or? That would literally balance anything on her head. That's what I'm imagining Hootsie doing this tiny pumpkin.

That's very cute. Isn't there a rabbit with a pancake on his head? Oh yeah, there's a pancake rabbit. What was it? Perception? I believe that's a 19. I will enjoy 21. Seven. Uh, 23.

Perfect. What you... What you notice, and this was a group, so this works all for all of you, balanced down in Mace. Thank you. Though you don't notice a Kenku, you do notice multiple suspicious individuals.

And it's not enough to make you investigate them further or try and follow them off into the crowd, but it's almost as if you know, notice a few people who seem to be watching you intently and people who seem to dart in and out of your eye line the moment you make contact, visual contact with them. It's almost ghost-like in the way that they appear and then disappear quickly. So not in a flirty way. Not in a flirty way. No. No, I'm sorry for us. No. Did you see that one? They looked away right when I saw And then I look away.

You do make your way back to the feasting orchard. You see that another round of the fairy cake eating contest is underway as the announcer calls out to continue. Another person down. Only 10 more to go. Look at them feast. And you watch on. You hear of the announcements that the cupcake. Chad has arrived back at the feasting orchard and a small crowd crowds around you as they all

stare on in awe at Gideon and his cupcake Chad shirt which is very clearly too small for him and like a midriff yeah yeah too tall small wings of the tiny fairy wings just a repeat a Genotti happy trailway yeah no more than I am yeah it's probably what I'm kidding. It's more of a happy forest. It's like Bob Raw said. Happy Trini's a little friend and another friend and another friend

and another friend and another friend. I'm picturing flames like on the side of a hot rock. Like Guy Theorese. Oh, yeah. Oh, very nice. Fieri. Anyway. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're right, Flosty. There are some pervits here, but let's go rid of the man's. Okay, yes. And you, they do hinder your movement through the feasting orchard, but not enough to stop you on your path towards the, through, towards the orchard maze, the corn maze. And as you make your way towards it, you see that it feels very autumnal here. Almost as if this part of the, this part of the carnival was pulled straight from the court of autumn itself. You see the beautiful golden red leaves on the trees that, as you,

you look at them, you realize that the golden leaves are actually almost metallic in nature as they reflect. It's nighttime. There should be no sun here, but this feels fully illuminated as if the sun were in the sky. The weather is a very brisk 60. And it's almost sweater weather, but not quite unless the wind picks up. It's perfect. You can smell pumpkin in the air. Cinnamon, clove. The, um, the, um, the, you know, the, The ground is lined with hay bales that people are sitting on and enjoying ciders and candied apples and things of that nature. And you make your way towards the corn orchard.

There appears to be no, or the corn maze, there appears to be no person taking tickets as you are able to make your way in if you so choose. It doesn't cost a punch. So we can do this as much as we want. We can really get out money's worth. Oh, a two gold piece. and my love of unicorns were.

Well, there's limited time in the carnival, and I imagine that if we're still in the maze, we'll be trapped there forever at the end. So let's try and complete it as quickly as we can. Oh, it's eight days. So we have eight days. It's the first day? I believe this is the last day.

This is the last day. Oh, it's the final day. You have eight hours in the carnival or something. We may be, uh, maybe all of us will just be caught in a corner alone. Maybe the cancun is in there, too. Keep an eye out for them. Or you can blast through it,

like you've destroyed that bush. I feel like property damage is probably not something I want to be charged for in a place like this. Well, Gideon can throw us all out. That's true. We can throw us all in too. It's a sacrifice we'll have to consider when we get to that point. Well, I didn't know Gideon was so selfless. No, I wouldn't do that.

I would not. I would not. I would start walking in and... Okay. Frosty Lee, do I. Am I confronted with a left-right choice? Yes. You are you make your...

way in and you are surrounded by these gigantic stalks of corn. They are so congested together that you can't see through them, but there is a path. It's a nice cobbled path that leads its way in, and you are eventually confronted with a choice. Do you go left or do you go right? I would propose that we go left. Any reason why? It's the first one. It's on your left. It's easy. No, that makes a lot of sense. Let's go left. It's a strong argument. I can't. I can argue. with it. Whenever you fail to say, I'll follow it. All right. You're choosing left. You make your way towards the left and you continue to walk and walk and walk and walk and you are

not met with any other choices for five, ten, fifteen minutes before you finally come to a fork in the road. You can now move left, right or forward. All along this path, you've been seeing pumpkins with carved faces, or faces carved in them, candles melting on the inside that have been nestled on straw bales and inside parts of the corn patch. You've also been met with plethora of very same-looking scarecrows. They all all with turnips on their heads, burlap sacks over the turn-up as they appear to be fending the, or scaring away the birds that might feast on the corn. Well, it certainly doesn't seem like a trap

or that it'll lead to combat, so we just have to pick one of these three directions. Which way looks the most turnipy? Turnipy. Why is that relevant? It felt like the right thing to ask. You know? I got to choose the first one. Do you think either of these pants

or look turnipy? No, I'm all the same. Are they? I mean, in the sense that in relation to how turnipy they are, I mean, I don't know, are they? Is one more turnipy than the others? Are you, do you know what to see?

I don't know. A run an investigation check for turnips. Oh, another 23? Yeah. All right. You look towards the middle path. And you see that quite a length down the middle path, there appears to be some sort of, like, turn-up, not turn-up fountain, but it's like multiple hay bales that are stacked together with turnips, with faces carved in them all around it. And at the very center, there is a scarecrow that's holding a lantern on either arm.

Take a look. Oh. There we go. We've got fellow holding lanterns and stuff. feels kind of turnip to me. A lot of turnips down that way. Yeah, let's go say hello to the scarecrown. I'll remember this choice in case we have to double back,

and I continue to lead the way. You make your way down the path, and you find yourself in what appears to be an outcropping, and it is exactly as Cremie had described. There is a circular pile of hay bales in the middle that is piled high with these turnups and pumpkins that have faces carved into them. They all have varying emotions.

And the emotions range from happy to angry to sad to jubilant. And all of them have a single candle on the inside, slowly burning down. And in the very center, there is a scarecrow that seems to be significantly larger than the ones that you've seen elsewhere. Its arms are pointing to the left and to the right. Its fingers are pointing straight out as if motioning in a direction, but its face is looking straight forward. On either one of its outstretched arms wrapped around its wrist is a corded rope. And from that hangs a lantern. Inside, there is a turn-up.

Both of them completely whole. But they glow with an unusual orange light. Do I see any crows? You do not see any crows. You also do not see any exits from this space. Not even behind us? Are you looking behind you? Oh, no.

Sure. As you turn around to look behind you, you see that the corn has completely closed off the way that you'd come out. Well, I think we've done it. Oh, no. Trap like rats. This is some kind of like stupid puzzle, right? Your intelligence is hard than his, right? Well, to be fair, it's just more of a logic puzzle than like a word puzzle, so I will, no, no, no.

It's down with you, Frost. No. I'll do my best shot. Right. I've always preferred parsnips. Okay. You should have said that before we are. I'll walk up and I'll look. There's no egress from this. There's no way out.

You're in a circular outcropping. There is the circular pile of the hay bales with all of the essentially jack-o-lanterns, but in pumpkin and turn-up form. some fun trivia for you that the jack-lantern originated as a turnip or a parson. I know. I've seen faces and they're way scarier. They are way scarier. Way scarier.

Way scarier. And you said that hanging from both of the wrists are... So he's pointing straight out. ...and there's a lantern that is dangling from a corded rope. And inside the lantern there is a turnip that is completely whole, but it has a strange orange-ed-off. glow on the inside as if there is something burning inside of it. Oh. Can I reach the lantern? You'd have to climb up on the hay bales, but sure. It's easy

enough. I get up there and I will open the lantern and I will remove the glowing turn-up. You do that and as you as you reach up you actually stumble a bit because you realize that this scarecrow isn't stationary. It is on a essentially a lazy Susan and it can be rotated and so you were able to catch your ground. A lazy Susan is the thing that you would have on a table that's on a platform and it spins around so that you can. A lazy Susan. Yeah, lazy Susan. I didn't know that I was called a lazy Susan. Or you can do pottery on it. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I've heard of the term. I've heard it into a bit because it was a disruptive question. I feel like I can understand Mike's general curiosity because he had that look on his

face like, can you please tell me what that is? I'm not. I'm a lazy Susan. I mean, I've heard the phrase lazy Susan, but I didn't know that's what it was. I have a small dagger. You do. And I am going to, I'm going to attempt to make my own face.

Oh, make it a happy cat face. I'll do my best. And having said that, I will attempt to draw like a serious pondering face. Okay. I would like you to roll a performance check. And a sleight of hand to see how well you're able to create what you are looking to do. Okay. Performance. That's where I'm applying here.

And don't forget that you have twists. Yeah. Please don't forget that you have twists. I think I'll use one. Let me check out the slide of hand. Oh, let me get nice. Okay. So slide of hand is going to be a 19.

And I'll use a re-roll of the D20 for the performance because it was a three. A 12. So a 12 and a 19. The 12, the 12, the 12. The 12. The 12 fails. The 12 fails. I need you to roll at you 100 for me, please.

Oh, no. 66. Oh, I'm so close to the good number. You die. Oh, oh. Oh. My body hits the laser shoes in a month. rotate just a little bit

before coming to rest. Your leg drag and stuff. I guess don't cut the turnips. You don't die. Check his post. Come on, losers.

That was for the twist. Oh, Lord Veda. Derek, you're live. You're... You're... You're... You got you. Oh, you're fine.

You got you. I fell on my dagger. Oh, God. Your Indians are coming. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, no! This is why we get nothing done! Frost is the turn-up! Oh, maybe that's the puzzle. Can we do this? Here we go. I lost it. The concept of death is unbearably sad, so that you burst into tears whenever it comes up, and you can't stop thinking about it. On top of that, what did you get for your sleight of hand?

Twelve. Your sleight of hand was 12. No, your sleight of hand was 19. You're right, you're right, you're right. So your ability to carve this turn up is impeccable. It looks amazing, but you weren't able to get the expression that you were looking for, that pondering, that sense of wonder and inquisicalness. Instead, it looks sad.

It looks a little bit. depressed. And as you stare at it, you feel that way too. It's almost like you've carved an emotion into this pumpkin or into this turn-up that is reflected back at you. Well, I was able to carve the face. That was the opposite of what I suggested. No, no, I didn't do a very good job. It doesn't matter, though. What? We all die in the end. Oh God. I mean, yeah, that's the cycle of knife and death. Are you right, Frost?

Is this like awaken something in you? Frosty! Are you crying? Oh, ah, there, there. Um... It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

It's okay, Frosty. You'll probably live, you probably outlive all of us. It's fine. I mean, you have like nine lives or something? Yeah, you've got nine lives. And so after you live on, probably immortal with all your mind powers after we die. So you'll outlive us and then we'll die

and everyone that you have ever known and all your loved ones will die, but you'll be alive. Vivi, baby, baby, baby. Nine lives means I have to die nine times. That's a good point. That sounds a little unpleasant. I think I just think it was. Oh no.

Would you like to enjoy a nice cute jig from Hootsie? Hootie, would you like to cheer up Uncle Frosty? I would like to see Hoot's dance. Okay. That's the old shuffle up. Now make sure you don't drop that pumpkin hootie. It's very important, probably for naught sense to reasons, on account of you being a child.

You'll do a very nice, pleasant dance. Thank you. Perhaps Frost's favorite dance that she would know. Oh, yes. That's my favorite. Thank you. I don't know what came over me. Something about, I don't know.

Someone can put it back in the lantern or, uh, uh, do we want to put it back? I mean, what's glowing inside of it? Did you get down deep enough? I think it's one of the candles, like. No, you did not get down deep enough. Yeah, give it to me. Oh, here you go. And you, you do pass it, but it does not change the way that you're feeling.

I want to bite the face off and then spit it out and try to like get to the middle of the titsy pop. Okay. You bite the face off and you begin to feel just absolutely nothing. It's almost as if you had attuned by carving into this thing to begin with, you had attuned it to yourself and your emotions. There's no face on this at all anymore. There is nothing. You are just blank, empty.

What do I find? You find that you rip the bits of it off and it just smooths over. And you see that there's still that glowing emberon. the inside. So it didn't, I didn't get any closer to it. I would say maybe a little bit closer, yeah. Kind of like use my thumbnail to try to like scoop that out. I want to see if there's anything inside of it. Yeah. Yeah, so I'll just, you know. Try making a face. It seems like the only logical thing to do. They're all faces here. I mean, that's what you did. Nothing happened. Besides, sort of broke down a little bit. It became very introspective. Weird. Little, little, little,

out of melancholia, nothing wrong with that, of course. No judgment. No, I did. It's okay. We all have to face our own mortality, Frosty. See, that time, it didn't do anything. Oh. So he went from feeling overwhelming sadness and crying

to just feeling empty and absolutely nothing? Yes. Okay, that's about normal. Yeah, actually, it's a lot from house. It sounds about right. Okay, you're a normal person, Frosty. But the face was very mirroring the expression. Give it another shot.

Someone else attempted with perhaps the other turnip or with this one, if we can't master the face. What does the scarecrow's face look like right now? It's completely neutral. It's a burlap sack. No, it's a turn-up with a burlap sack, over it like a hood. Oh, what she said.

It's kind of spooky. I'm gonna look at all that shot. I'll throw you the turn. Oh, whoa! Oh, hold on, hold on, sorry. Oh, okay, I got. Oh, fuck, oh! I fall off the emails.

Ah! I got it! See, this is why I don't need force natural ones. I got it! They do this shit for themselves. Don't worry, don't worry. Everyone relax! I got it, hootsy.

I don't know how you be. balance it. I couldn't even pick up a turnip that Uncle Cremay handed me. You dug your finger into it to see if you could get. I did. It was very clearly a piece of like burning coal. Oh. And then it covered back up. Is it like kind of grossly regrow? Yes. And it looks like it is slowly where you bit off. It is slowly starting to regrow out

and cover itself with its turnipy skin. Is it getting like a sad face again? No. Oh. some kind of like burning coal in there that seems to be perpetually glowing. Maybe just for the sake of making a spooky glowing face. It seems to me that I had an intention of drawing a pondering face, but I failed, and it was a much sadder expression than I intended.

Frosty? Can you create the expression that you have intended in your mind, and if it's correct, perhaps that is going to reveal a path from this outcroping? I'm not saying you're a bad artist, but what exactly is, how would you convey a pondering face in something as basic as a turnip carving? That's a good point. Perhaps I bit off more than I could chew. Yeah, I mean, if you're going to, you know, if you're whittling and you're going real granular and like a block of wood and I pull out a block of wood, right? You could get real nice and lots of detail.

But if it's just a turnip, if you try to get detailed, it'll rot away. You can only go, that's what I said. Happy kitty. I, eye, little nose, and then smile, smile, whiskers. Done. Why are you carrying around a block of wood? Oh, me, I'll carry out a bunch of blocks of wood. In case I'll feel like whittling something.

He's a witler. You never seen him whittle before? You haven't seen me whittled for us? How long have we known? I forgot. I forgot. I had forgotten. That's what he and screw of a Dave Bonded out.

Yeah. He was a scrimshaw. He gave me a whale bone. And then we also scrimshaw. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, with the whittling being such a... such a master, why don't you give a little turn up a try? Okay, a turnip.

So you know what, Frosty, I'm gonna take me on advice here, I'm gonna make a happy kitty. All right, roll a sleight of hand and a performance check. Okay, I can he add anything because he's proficient and woodworking? I would say, yes, you can roll at advantage. Oh, wow. For both of them? Sure.

Oh, that's a 19. Let's see if I can Nat 20 yet. I'm an 18, okay. Oh, wow. So a 19 plus. Oh, shit. Why is it taking so long to load? I'll just roll the next one.

18 and a four, so. Frushed it. Yeah. It is easy for you. And you have, there have been, I would say when you were working at the Witchlight Carnival, one of your tasks was to carve some of the turnips and the pumpkins.

Oh, yeah. when you were working here. And so it's easy for you to get back into that mode as you quickly carve the face of the Happy Kitty. And you are, you carve deep enough and well enough to get down to the coal. And as the face illuminates, you watch as the coal pops and ignites and turns into a wax candle

with a flickering flame. Ah, there we go. Frost, you immediately feel overwhelming jubilence. you have never been happier in your entire life than you are right now. However, your twist of fate was still the death thing, so you are very, very happy unless you think of

or have a realization about death. Oh, I see. They were two separate things. I conflate with them. Got it. No, you're doing a terrific job. Thank you. See, it's a little happy kitty.

Mier, meer, meow. Mew, meow, meo, meo. Oh, and the candle revealed itself. Hot damn! And suits! One of the non-hills. Oh. You feeling all right, Frost?

I don't feel great, I think we solved it, look. He was tasting a world before. You smell burning feathers or anything like that? Not since we saw the kanku. Oh, that wasn't pretty good for us, Steve. A little concerned. Sorry, yeah. I don't know why, that's the funniest joke he's told

in the whole time we've known him. I'm just saying if he loses his marbles, he can explode our minds, just about looking at us. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I'll hurt you, would you like love to do with no pleasant a calming jig?

Maybe like some Thai cheatop number. Anyway, I'm gonna place the happy kitty in the lantern because I think our scarecrow Finn only had coals when he needed candle. There you go, Mr. Scarecrow. You place it in, and you still feel overwhelming happiness, but you and you watch as a face appears on the scarecrow, a wide smile, incredibly happy. And nothing happens.

Well, it hasn't solved the puzzle. I assumed that perhaps this would do the trick, but I feel elated. I feel much better. Oh. Well, I'm glad you're feeling better, Frosty. I'm glad that you're not really dwelling on death so much. And I'm not... Oh, whoa, can we just stop saying the D word, please? The D word? Yeah. Probably shouldn't touch that other turn up either.

We carve any more faces. He's definitely gonna kill us a home. If we all just stop saying the D word, that would make me much happier. Or the K word. Yeah. Because then I have to edit it to say, unalive instead. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's definitely gonna play with our minds until we have fits in the grass.

And somebody's gotta take us out of here. out of here. That's right. Oh, are you saying, Crummy, that we all know the lingo that you use at the carnival. Advertisor friendly. Exactly right. You have to appear on the servers that you're

advertising friendly, and hopefully they don't notice the rats. Because they're a bunch of suckers. I mean... And they're a bunch of roobes and we'll take all their money, you know, grimy. That's sort of the deal. I mean, that's why we're all here, right? You know, isn't it?

I really love unicorns, and I gave these... these jerks, two gold pieces. And we have 500 gold pieces in the sack. Oh, yeah. Who's just doing the dance again? Oh, Lucy, it's a very nice tape of a pumpkin on your head. You're so dexterous.

You're like a little ballerine actorbath. Anyways, I'm going to go look at what of options for pumpkin. I mean, turnips. I mean, pumpkins there are. Mm-hmm. Do we see, like, that there are this specific number of faces or just in general there's expressions? They're very expressions.

Okay. Okay. So, I mean, you know what? It was a long time ago, and I was drinking a lot of beer at the time before I found purpose with hootsie. And so it's a little foggy. But I actually used to carve the turnips for, like, the children. So, like, oh, could you give me a happy kitty?

Oh, sure. So that's what I did there. That what goblin kids sound like? I just, that's what children sound like. It's true. I love a happy kitty. Those little fuckers. Oh, grandmamma, please get me a sweet from the confectionery.

I hate to lean on you once again, but perhaps if you, there's two turnips, right? There were, yes, one in either of that turn. Can you work your skull on the other one and perhaps make a sad face? Well, hold on. Why sad? Why not just too happy? Well, one that's incredibly slimed.

Matching faces? Well, they also would, they always say, oh, I would love to be a mermaid. Oh, maybe if they're both happy is... Oh, Scooby Dave taught me a fun trick with mermaids that I didn't know. Oh, it looks like a mermaid. That's amazing. Those are the boobies. Yeah. Are you carving the turnerner?

Yeah, I'm going to the mermaid, yeah. Can you do a slide of hand and a... Yeah, the other thing. Uh, natural 19. and oh, natural 14. Oh my God, why is D&D Beyond not loading? I wish I had my iPad.

NGBion! Hmm. D&D. Beyond. It's D&D. Well, I believe my sleight of hand is... Plus four. So my sleight of hand should be a... Performance will be plus four as well, I think.

So it'll be a 20... 23 and in 18. Oh, yes, you're easily able to carve this mermaid. And as you do, you begin to feel this sense of, what does her face look like? What expressions on her face? I forgot to draw the face. Did you forget to draw the face?

Why did you draw so suggested? Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna- DeM-Fia. What's Kirby Dave? What would Scurvy? Dave teach Crick-co is more than. You're a lustful, lustful.

You begin to grow a pair of breasts. It's really, really nice, large breasts. Oh, no. And you feel incredibly lustful. Technically shouldn't grow breast, but fuck it. Rool o' cool. Oh. Look at this tall drink of water.

You, me. You? Me? A little scarecrow. No, no. What are you done? Oh, because it's Kirby Dave. Oh, it's Scooby Dave.

Not quite the same as Curvy Dave. I mean, you can be Kirby Dave. Oh, look at you. Yeah, look what's happening to your party. Oh, no, that's ridiculous. My name isn't Dave. I mean. Well, I don't think it needs to be with a pair of those.

Ricko doesn't have the same ring to it. Gargaret. Can we do better than that? Gargantuan? After more recent transformations, I'll feel like I'll need to move around very awkwardly and have them defa the laws of physics and do this. And then I'll be heavily using the promotional materials

but only show up in a handful of episodes disappointing all viewers who wishes their money on the shitty, Sonan, likely mecca over the war. So if we carve whatever in the turnip, it affects us. We can carve these turnips and we'll be transformed into whatever magical, this has interesting implications, if you ask me.

Jesus. It's kind of interesting. To stop. I don't know. Turner abracians. Turner abracians. Not all the way around. Oh, man.

He's the cornwalk. He's on symmetrical evil. I mean, I guess that's actually very normal. Okay, I'm going to turn around. Oh. Well, you know, they say they're going to climb a tree, but it says, I'm going to climb a skirk. Here's the thing.

He carved the first one and it affected you. Yes. And then he carved the second one. It affected him. Is it because you touched the first one first, and he touched the second one first. I would say it's very easy to realize that that's exactly what happened.

And that's exactly what it is. I think that's very logical. Thank God that only two of them. But we still need a plan. Oh, we have to get out of here. Yeah, turn-ups turning everybody into, you know, I don't know, he's in love with scarecrows and he's gotten more attractive.

Nothing about him has changed. His face is still swollen. He just does some great breasts. I just can't even see his face anymore. I can't remember having a really hard time looking them in the eye. Can you just grab a turn-up? I think this is where we all have to participate in order to get out of here. Oh, you.

How did the turn-up? Why don't we just spin this scarecrow till it's pointing the way out of here something's pointing in every direction? It's on a spinny dial. Oh, after all I'm done with him, he's going to be pointing in three directions. Quickly. Idiots. You're talking this.

This handle on the scarecrow was appearing out of nowhere. You're grabbing by the shriek. All right, I put my hands on the lazy Susan and I attempt to spin the scarecrow to see him it pointing him in other words on the reason. It wasn't lazy Susan. You speak. You're using the crank?

Yeah, yeah. I'm using the crank that's appeared out of nowhere after this. It's a new handle. It's appeared. You use this new handle and you turn the scarecrow easily, but only one. of the lanterns is illuminated inside of the, one of the turnips is illuminated inside of the lantern.

His face is still incredibly happy. As you spin it around, he just seems very happy, but it doesn't like click into place or anything. I think I may have it. I'm going to take the mermaid turnip and I put it into the other. Oh no, my wafoo! She's a collectible. So we have very lustful and happy.

Very lustful and happy. Okay. You place the turn up into the other lantern and you see as the scarecrow's face changes. It is now incredibly happily horny and it does have a handle that appears randomly. It's got a giant smile with pink lines. And it's got so sweat droops. I make away a few steps. A nose blood.

Oh yes, it has a nose blood. But both of the lanterns are illuminated. I spin it again now that it's a double illuminated. Now that it's super horny. You know, oh. Clearly do it be sad. This will be a rexion and crickling boobs. He drew a happy face and then a perfect rendition

of a horny mermaid. Yeah. Everyone ducks it, ducks it spins around. But you do begin to spin it. And it spends, it spins, it spins easily until finally click. And you see that it is facing with its back to you in opposite directions. So you were coming from, let's say, the north and the south. It is now pointing towards the east and the west.

And as you wait, it seems like nothing happens. But then you look a little bit closer and you see that there are clearly exits to the East and the West. Oh, we still got a fucking choice. That's fine. We solve the puzzle. It's over. Oh, my God. It's over.

Hold on. I think we need to keep spinning it. He continues to. Oh, hold on. I think he's stuck. I think I need to, I think we need a little bit of, hold on. Hey, that, that's scarecrow. You guys, go ahead.

That's scarecroth. Mone suggested we would have locked in the place or was that Grigo? I think it was both. With any sense of direction, do I get a sense of what, because I would have tried to memorize our path to get here. Do I have a sense of whether East or West would take us back to the carnival?

Well, I think he's a rioting. I would say that you know that you came from the South, and so you're depending on which way the East or the West diverts, but you would say, each side has an equal chance. To the west. Is that left? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think we go. Let's go left. All right. Oh, all right. We make our way to the east. You make your way towards the east.

Poozy's looking on an absolute horror. Do I say west or east? I don't know. Weist. We're going to go weist. You're going weist. So you make your way towards the weist, which is the left.

Goodbye. And as you step out of the glade, the little circular area, the corn grows in behind you and Gricko's boobs shrink. Your lustful nature fades away. And Frost, you were just overwhelmed with the thought of death. When it comes up, when it comes up. Well, it is a very strange carnival. I'm not used to being so full of different emotions.

It's kind of exhausting, isn't it? I was not a very good parental role model there. There was a lazy Susan. I was acting more like that crazy Susan. You matched questionably on. You never should have given her your real number. No. I'm sorry, Hootzee.

I hope you can look at me in the same way again. I look at Hootzie. What expression does Hootzie have? Completely not. Disgust. I guess she is an owl bear. I mean, that's kind of normal. Okay.

You think it would go back to normal? They're not. It's kind of like fried eggs on nails. No. Is that how your chest normal looks? No. What is wrong with you? I'll get a little bit of definition.

Do you think they have plastic surgery in a pretty while? Well, I hope so. We continue. You do. You continue for quite a while for about five minutes before you find yourself at yet another juncture. The choice between left and right. It's up to you, Fras. Stop looking at me. Please.

You're willing to come here. All right. All right. I'll stop. Get in. It's your goal. Oh, no. Oh, really? You know what? Well, I don't want to touch Grico, but what if I just threw you really high up in the air and you got a sense for where the, the center of the maze was. That would be cheating. Perhaps there's a magical barrier that could kill me.

What? Now, why do you have to go ahead and suggest the death barrier? I don't know. He brought that up. What would you say that you were going to murder Frosty? After you murdered Paul Chuckles. I would never murder Frosty the way I murdered Chuddle. It wasn't.

I'd manslaughter Chuckles. Oh, yeah. You manslaughter. You manslaughter. We made it very clear last time. Yeah, exactly. earlier today. I forgot about chuckle.

How did you forgot about chuckles? That was like an hour ago. Yeah. You know, his memory's not that great for total intelligence. Yeah, wow. Gosh.

It's okay. He's at the clown form. Yeah, your actions lead to the death of a clown. Everybody forget. I mean, it was a clown-like form in the sense that it was a clownishly run pig farm.

We got to get out of this maze. Are you a left-handed or right-handed? Well, well, you know. I mean, whichever one works at the time. That doesn't help. Okay, alright. Look, Frost, you wanted to come back of it. You wanted to finish the whole fucking thing.

I know. Left or right. I can flip a coin. I can roll a die. Which hand did you punch? Chuckles with. They killed him. Oh, it was the right hand.

It's okay, Frosty. He's in clown hell. And they don't have one, so they're working on his drinking habits. He's in a better place. Let's just keep walking. And so you go right and you continue walking. You have some twists and turns and some other choices that you have to make. And you do make them with relative ease comparatively before you make your way to a small outcropping that has two arched doorways.

And in front of each of them is... is what almost looks like a shimmering minor image of one is a happy face, the other is a sad. I told you then we should have gone with sad. I should have made it a sad mermaid. I mean, does this have any kind of relevance to scarecrows? It's like a new fucking puzzle. I imagine it's going to be another puzzle.

We can try the doors first, but as we approach one of them, it's probably gonna be like, well, I only tell the truth, the other one, I don't need to the lines. Hey, Frost, welcome to that. Just walk up to that sad face, Frost. Go fuck yourself. Get out of my house.

I don't know what this is. That's the puzzle? I walk up to the sad. Man, you ever wonder about your mortality? Just try to comprehend eternity? No. Have you been cursed as well? Why are you talking like this?

Hold on. Hold on. Is anything you having? You cry, but nothing seems to happen. You said it's a door. So it's an archway. Archway. And so it's almost like a shimmering barrier.

And I equated it to something like mirror, or not mirror image, a minor image, where it's like you can clearly see that there's some kind of magical thing in there. It's like wobbly magic. But it is, it creates the look of a happy and a sad thing. I was picturing like an opaque. It's like in a video game.

It's how it shimmers and you know if you go through, you either need the thing to go through. war when you go through it'll give an effect. I'm gonna attempt to walk through. And I attempt to. You attempt to and you're immediately bounced backwards. Nothing. Hmm.

I guess we need the thing. What thing. Hello, happy door. You hear nothing. I'm gonna walk through the happy shard because my verb is being killed. You walk up and you bounce straight off of them. Hmm

Hello Happy door Why don't you not tell a joke or something Oh Do you know any jokes Well he was crying Walk through the sad door And he still got thrown back

Yeah I thought that was sad But maybe you have to make The door sad of the door happy You know what I mean It's not like you need to feel that emotion But you gotta evoke it Hmm I continue to stay

in front of a sad door. Have you considered your mortality lately? Because it's pretty rough. Oh. And then after I attempt to say that, it doesn't react or do anything. I'll test the barrier and get the push back again. Nothing. Hmm. Happy face.

Well, isn't that kind of like drama? I mean, like, to put on a play or something? I would say that upon saying that you do think back to the amount of plays and things that you've seen, and that those are the symbols of drama. Oh, yeah. By comedy and the tragedy. Yeah, it's sort of the representation of performance. Ah.

Depends on what era of comedy shall we enjoy to reproduce, Crenny. Well, maybe we could put on a little show, fellas. Oh, yeah. That's sweet. We're great at shows. Well, I mean, there's no one. Frost and mine read. I guess you could do a little juggling

and hoots a dancing. No, don't you actually do a play with a story and some jokes? Is that if it's a comedy? Oh, well, if since maybe if this new door prefers the current trend in modern comedy, he might enjoy this. Which door are you standing in front of? The comedy door, the laughing door. Oh, dude, weed.

I smoked so much weed, and there were boobs back there. Nothing happened. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, I'm not to laugh at that. Oh, I'm so glad that didn't work. I think you're on to something. We need to... Gosh, you know, that rat at the child casino, he knew comedy.

Ratman Can we tell a simple story? Mac folk, I think they prefer. Oh, you can't call them rat man? I would imagine that it's worth a try. Can we act out a simple story? We'll assume the roles and... Oh, like roleplay?

Yes. Well, like an actor does. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. I can give it a try. Oh, yeah, we'll perform. That's really what we're doing pretending to be somebody else.

One of the classics? Yes. Yes. All those D&D classics that we know in the world of adventurers. No, no problem. Oh, comedy. Yes, I agree.

Comedy would be refreshing. I'm really not much of a theater goer. I'm struggling to think of even... Here, here, here. You all three stand here. Okay. You guys are going to be pigs. I don't know.

I'm feeling this as well. All right. Okay. I'm going to be this wolf character. and each viewer inside different houses. Okay, Frost? What's more character's name? I don't remember the story well enough to

pick any name. How about Phil? Oh, Phil! Okay. Because you're a peed. What's more motivation? Your motivation is not to be eaten by me. That's it? Oh. Yes. Does he have any notable skills? Well, he clearly knows how to build the house that he's in.

Oh, so like carpentry or masonry? What's what's his house made out of? It's made out of, hey. Oh, what? Oh, my character's an idiot. Okay. Hey, guys, my name is Phil. I want you consume you.

Why would you want to do that? You've made a very poor choice in housing material. And now your house has been blown away by you. No. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. And then I consume you. No, no.

I know, my house comes in special fortified hay. It's magic hay. No, okay, what are you getting to say how much, well? I am. I brought out a frame throw and I'll kill the wolf. Offly supper. Fear not, brother pigs. I mean, for you not, brother, pigs.

I'll slain that wolf. Oh my God, you killed me. Well, thanks. Yep. Yeah. You want to come to my superior house? No, I got a special magic impanagible hay. Yeah, I'm going to be eating wolf nuggets for the winter. Your idiot should have made your houses out of hay.

I need two wolves. I need you two to make a performance check at Disappanagan. How is that ever going to get comedy, Frost? This is great. Fucking awesome. Oh my God. I'm twisting. Oh, I'm twisting.

I mean, that's what they're there for. Natural 20. 17. Okay. Is I'm twist two? D100. Yeah. We can't do this.

Oh, man. D one hundred's, fellas. Oh, shit. That is not how the three little pigs goes. Yeah, I'm living close. A nine to two. A nine to two. That's pretty good.

Let's see you. Oh, is it 10 and a zero? Your knees become confused. A 10 and a zero is a 10, right? Yes. Okay. Did you get a 100? No, no, I got a 10.

My fucking Lexington. This is going to be the end. Your breathing is loud and obnoxious. Crushie! He only legs! Did it work? Tell me it worked. What? Oddly enough,

oddly enough, the happy side of the door goes from being happy to being very, very sorrowful. However, you're now looking at two sorrowful faces. You imagine that to unlock these doors, the other one needs to be changed. That could have been done with a play that exhibited both sorrow and comedy. You could have thrown a few jokes, Cricko, before you killed the fucking wolf. But it looks like you're going to need to propose a piece. Maybe like a knock-knock joke?

Yeah. Oh, knock-knock! Who's there? The big bad wolf! Big bad wolf! I need to wear a dirty white bathrobe. and eat some gobble go out of the fridge. You have to make it into a story.

I army crawl over to the like corner of the corn and I just like sit up. You guys are on your own for the next one. Got too much shit going on. You take it, you're taking. What about your leg? I don't know, again, again with the fucking, again with the fucking legs. They just walk together.

Why does this keep happening? Oh, why do we come back to this maze? Michelle Frosty, George. That is very annoying. Why? You're like, I can hear every red. Every pot of weather that's going through that snow.

What are you talking about? It's very annoying. It sounds like a death rattle. Oh, God. No, Death Vattle sounds more like, I'm going to sit this one out, and we're going to go away. Out of all camera. Oh, no, whole camera.

If you get even, Grammy, you can enjoy something. That's all I'm a role play in this whole fucking time. Oh, man. So now we have to tell a funny play. Well, I'm at least making smile. Oh. You imagine it needs to be some sort of performance with a story. Like a joke doesn't work clearly.

We got to think of a story. It's some sort of comedy. Oh, my good. Do we know any of those? I don't know. I mean, what really qualifies a comedy? Well, he just made up that thing about a wolf getting burned by a frame for.

That sounds pretty fun. I mean, yeah. What else is kind of in that genre? Let me think. You can pay me money right now and I could not tell you a comedic story because I'm completely blanking about it. I was comedy.

Three little pigs. Don't a $40 bill. You'll be like, any comedy, I'd be like, you know, I have an idea if they don't figure it out.

Oh, your fucking legs. Would you lock some cured meats? There's pistachios in there. What about, what about, like, classics, you know, that are fun?

I mean, they're all real grim. I keep thinking of stories and they, oh, no, everybody died. in that one. Yeah. It's one of those that's not funny, but she dies in the end. Oh, what even makes a story of comedy? Well, there's one about the two kids and the hag and the hag dies in the end. She actually gets burned alive. Well, what about does, does irony count?

I mean, I mean, it's kind of funny, depending. What do you think? Well, I don't have any stories that are ironic. I got this. Whether or not it counted. Oh, Gereon. Tell the daughter there was one in your sorda. It's very ironic. I mean a flaw in your sotidna. Or rain on your wedding day, perhaps. I don't think either of those things are ironic. I think it's just unfortunate events.

There was a thing about unfortunate advance, but I think there was horrible death in that, too. Some kind of house fire or, I don't know, some kind of death. Has that the family reunion you were talking you were talking about? Oh, Douglas had some funny stories. Fully can get home me right now

and tell me one of his hilarious comedic backstories so I can just retell it in a rendition in front of this door. I believe the distinction is tragedy is when something bad happens to me, but comedy is when something bad happens to you. So pick any story where there's some sort of comedic outcome to perhaps a villain, for example. How about a story about a woman and a man falling in love,

but an evil king attempts to marry the woman anyway in order to secure his kingdom? And she actually turns out to be a secret troll that magically overnight turns into this troll creature that I'm describing. And he could be very short and be defeated in the end. I mean, Something along those lines, perhaps. Are you talking about Shrek? Yes, in fact, the entire message of the story could be about appearances not being important, but the entire movie makes fun of the height of the king,

and that's irony. That's pretty funny. I like that. You know what, fuck it. The door, the sad door starts to laugh. Yes. That's nice. Shrek seems this again.

I feel like Shrek needs to save you in this moment. Yes, that works. Thank you. Oh, we did it. I guess we just needed to tell a story. We didn't have to all participate. I was gonna say I could have played the short villain. Gricko could have played the ugly guy.

What do you mean? I'm so symmetrical. Grickle's Mait-Track. You be kind enough to... Yeah, yeah, come on. How born up there. Yeah. I'll go over and pick up...

I'll get through. Let him sit on my shoulder. What happened, your legs? Well, they seem to be fused again. Let's celebrate by making waffles. I'll probably die like that. You probably won't. Hey, no crying up there, all right?

This is a new shirt. I'm sorry. Oh, we couldn't call it Treco. Oh. We make our way through. We still have to pick which door. You have to pick which door. Oh, they're different.

Somebody wants to me. So you pick left? Left door. We're just going to go left. You make your way through the left door, and there are a couple of turns, and eventually you make your way out of the cord maze. Oh.

Are we back? Back in the Feasting Carnival? Oh. And as you step into the Feasting Carnival proper, your legs unfuse and your fake curses fade for you. Hey, Carmilla. Yeah. You're feeling better, Grico?

You know, I feel a need to be endlessly frustrated by people knowing something that they shouldn't have for seven entire seasons on repeat. But other than that, I'm fine. I can think about death again. Now, you have the list of classic comedies, and none of them are funny. What in the head? Why are they call them comedies? Because it ends in a wedding.

Oh, I guess they end in, but usually there's some real dark stuff going on. They all ended weddings? I think traditionally, if you're talking about the Great Baud. Oh, look, it's a cupcake, Chad. And all of a sudden kids just start to swarm around. Finally, back to polite society. How of that horrible maze? If you didn't have a proper joke,

all had a pretty good one. It was actually going to be about clowns and poor and relevant. Well, it wasn't about a joke, but I mean, you can... Oh, it was a story, too. It was a very comedic story. Oh, well, then please continue. Why did you go over and sit down and not tell it then? It was huff and puff. Because, it was...

Imagine... Snack on Galba-Goole. All I could do is breathe very loudly. Snack on Kood of Italian meats. That was not part of your fingers. Oh, my white robe is gone. That was exhausting, and even though I have just restored my legs somehow, I would propose that we go to the gondolas one

so that we can sit and relax and not have to walk and these kinds of smooth ride kind of action. What do you think? I bet we didn't even get any credit for being the witch-like king or whatever for doing that. You feel like you got nothing for doing it. Oh, yeah, that feels like we just waste

a whole lot of time, Frost. We don't have eight hours here. I wanted to, I, I, I, we had to solve puzzles. It feels like the DM probably just mentioned it to set the scene and you decided to do it and had to come up with something. That's what that feels.

Marky new meta was, that's what it was. But I still wanted to do it. What? How am I supposed to know that? In the rule of game design. John Frost, you generally just have one attraction in each note on the map. Otherwise, it'll get repetitive, thematically. Well, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was putting so much pressure on the universe.

Well, shit. Do you not think we should go to the Hall of Illusions? Wasn't that where the Ked could just killed somebody or something? He's ruining the mood. Sounds like more walking. I was proposing that we take a smooth, relaxed choice. But if you want to go to the Hall of Illusions because you enjoy that sort of thing, you... Well, I've never been to a hall of illusions, but I'd be willing to give it a try. I just think maybe if we find this cancoup, then we take care of them. I think that, you know, maybe we get another ticket or we get some kind of reward. What do you imagine it is a hall of illusions if you've never been to one?

You know, like a straight hallway where you walk down it and then, you know, I don't know, some whispers to you and, you know, some things happen. I would say Frost, you have read at least about Halls of Allusions, though none that have been under Fay Carnival, and you imagine that this would be similar to what you experienced, but significantly worse. Very maze-like. Worse in like a... In every sense. Worse in like quality? No.

Worse in like... In exhaustion. Yeah. Terror. Oh. Effort. So what you're describing as a core? corridor where there will be things that aren't real inside.

Yeah, but it won't be scary at all. There's gonna be like breathing on your neck and like whispers in the ear. Yeah, I'd be surprised if you get all the way to the end with your knees not fuse back together. Well, it sounded... Nobody tell Gideon what the whole of illusions is. For a second, it sounded like you were just describing the alleyway behind the ratman's tile casino. That wasn't an attraction? No, no, just the alley.

What? Well, they had somebody back there. It was a giant trashcan. What? That wasn't a part of it? No, there were eight raccoons, Gidia. I thought they were performers. No, they only started performing because I played a jaunty tune on me whistle.

And I got them away from attacking all of the children as they exited the casino. Well, they were very handsome dancers. They really... The realista did kind of look like a ball pit, so, you know... We can give you a pass on that one. Well, thank you. I thought it was very reasonable to think so. There was also the Baroque and anime. Abraham Lincoln.

I was born in 100 log cabin. I'm gonna make a futuristic joke. I'm gonna make just one and I'm gonna make a future of a joke. I think I actually made three futureoma jokes before he punched live. Let's go to the Hall of Illusions. I want you to see what it is for yourself. Well, okay.

But I mean, he is the thing. The Canco probably won't be there right now because if he already, like, killed the mom, then I doubt he'd return to the scene of the crime. Oh, we'll get more clues if we talk to the mom. I get... If we question the mom and have a nice conversation with him. Well, he might not be like a legitimate mom, so yeah, I bet he'd talk. He probably...

Yeah, what do you want. I probably do everything for a couple of electron pieces, you know what I mean? Yeah. Did we ever have a mom at a carnivala crew? No, we never had a mom. No, I hate mimes. He has said that. Personal carnivalic crew policy.

So, we're learning a lot about you, Krami, and perhaps your childhood. On one end of the spectrum is unicorns. And the other end... Fucking love, unicorns. Yeah. ...is mimes. And so you've got to wonder where everything else in your life falls on that... I think everything could fit on a unicorn to mom's spectrum, exactly, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I may be able to speak to him with my mind. Oh. Oh, I mean, if it won't talk, yeah. And then he's not breaking his mom's vow of silence, right? I thought that... I thought moms had a vow of celibacy. I think that just comes with the...

Occupational hands. Wait. It's a vow, but they just don't get laid. Wait! Mimes don't have a vow of celibacy? No, they have no game. That big-titty-gothed and I was chatting that was lying to me?

Let's go to a whole lot of them. We go. So you are skipping a bunch of things and heading towards the Hall of Allusions. We're not skipping stuff. We can come back, right? Apparently. If it's more

What are we skipping? If it's more like reasonable for just a hit. No, it's totally up to you what you guys want to do. We're putting so much pressure on the DM because she's like, what do I have to prepare? What do I have to prepare?

Is it going to be this? Do I have to page 78 or page 77? Yep. Look, I'll go to the gondola swans if you want. Oh, Jerry, I'll think he's going to meet me there with a half a few years. You can go to wherever you want to go. I just need to know so I can prepare it.

I think we go to the Hall of Lusions. I'll think so too. We got a deal with that. It's the, we'll form clues, and soon they'll be saying, Cancou? More like cancou? Because he'll be out of here. It's very funny, Gregor.

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to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. You make your way

through the witch-like carnival. You pass attractions that you have not been to, specifically the gondola swans. You feel a bit of sadness, and like you probably should have gone there first. As you make, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Jerry's going to throw away my tuna sandwich. I'm 100% kidding.

As you make your way past these attractions, you make a mental note that if you're going to find this Kenku, that there are probably many places that you're going to have to experience before you can do that. But the first place, the place that seems most reasonable

is the place that you know this Kenku has been. And that would be the Hall of Illusions. What's the booze? You slowly make your way up to it, and you see it off in the distance, not off in the distance, you see that it is in front of you, but your attention is turned towards a glass cabinet. A wooden mannequin of a grinning, raven-haired young woman in witches attire and a green, flowing cape, hovers inside a glass cabinet. At the top of the cabinet, a sign reads, Tasha the wizard, known for her hideous laughter.

A halfling couple holds hands as they approach the glass cabinet. One of the halflings is wearing butterfly face paint. As he drops to one knee and pulls a small box from his pocket, his sweetheart bursts into laughter and begins rolling on the ground. The halfling in face paint begins sobbing and darts into the nearby tent without getting his ticket punched. You watch on as this halfling just rolls around on the floor laughing, but she is reaching out towards the man who had gotten down on one knee

and what appeared to be an attempt to propose. And in his shame at her reaction, he darts into the Hall of Illusions. You do see that there is a mime standing outside of the Hall of Illusions. He looks like you, how you would expect any mime to look. But he's devoid of all color. It's almost as if he is solely in sepia, or I guess tones of grayscale. He's in grayscale. As he makes a gasped expression and reaches out and makes a hole punch motion with his hand,

And then he looks shocked and scared, but he doesn't seem to chase after the male halfling as he runs into the Hall of Illusion. The mime following the half. The mime does not follow the halfling. The halfling ran in. The halfling ran in. Ashamed. All the while, the female halfling is just rolling on the ground laughing. Are you all right, miss?

I need you to roll a, I need you to roll a history check for me first. Oh. Didn't that guy die? I point at the mime. Oh, no, he said worse. And then I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Who? Oh. A Derek. Um, can I twist the history check?

Yes. Give me some 71. 71. Are you sure it's a 71? It's 170. I roll again. Uh, what time does Sean Conry go to the Wimbledon? 10. Oh.

55. Okay. 55? You believe you are a child. Okay. And for my wisdom saving throw. You think you're what? A child.

Oh. I walk up to the woman and in front of this glass box and I get a dirty 20. Okay. So your intelligence or your history, you got a dirty 20. Yeah. You look up at this box before approaching the halfling, rolling around in the ground, and you immediately recognize who this is. You, it's something that you had studied and heard about.

You don't know much, but you do know that Tasha was one of the names reputedly used for Igwild, the witch queen. And this is clearly some kind of a mannequin depiction of Igwilv. Or of Tasha. W. Igwilv, I-G-G, well, that's probably not how you actually pronounce it, but I-G-G-W-I-L-V, the witch queen. Ig-W-W-W-E-W-E-E-W-E-E-W-E-W-E-W-T-W-E-W-T-E-W-T-E-W-T-E-W-T-E-W-E-E-L-E-W-E-W-E-E-W-M-E-W-M-E. And then, you immediately, as you step forward, you immediately feel yourself overcome

by this aura of magic. And as you look more closely at this glass cabinet with this this mannequin of Tasha inside of it, and you're reminded of a very common spell that was writ by Tasha herself, Tasha's hideous laughter, is you feel yourself overcome by it. You look down at this halfling girl and you realize what happened. Getting near this cabinet, there is an aura of that spell, and her partner appears to have been able to withstand it. She, however, did not.

And if he's not aware of that, he probably took her laughter as sincerity. As she writhes around on the ground, unable to speak or say anything, as she just laughs and laughs and laughs. Deducing all of this, I'll look down at the lady. As you then become overcome by a fake curse, where you feel your mind start to change and warp, your age, not what it should be, not what it could be, it is what it is, which is probably around eight.

They still look like adult man, Frost. Yes. Oh, no. This is an adult man. Ooh, I mean, and what he's dist. You just think you're a child. You don't become a child. Yeah, I was trying to decide if I was going to switch voices,

but I'll continue this Frost. Hey, lady, you seem to have broken the heart of the man who was proposing to you because you were unable to resist the magical cabinet. Do you need assistance? Are you all right? She just laughs, rolls, and laughs. She clearly needs assistance. Goodbye. That's child fraud.

Wait, that what happened to? The dick. This cabinet here, I think Tasha was some sort of Igwilv, the witch queen, was another name for her. What? Igwilv? Are you, igwilv?

Are you familiar with Igwills? Egg will? Egg? Egg? I don't really study, you know, witches and stuff. I think I had egg will with a diner once. You notice as the, um, you notice as the mime makes motions and eventually a couple of candy striper pixies make their way over and carry the, uh, the halfling off. Is she gonna be okay, pixie stripers?

We sure hope so. Who knows? Does they shove toffee into our drought and try and help her? somebody. Can we go fetch him? Where should we bring him? Can we go to the Hall of Allusions? That's where he is. That's where he ran into. No, I know, but I just want to enjoy the Hall of Illusions.

Well, I feel like it's a big misunderstanding. I feel a little bad that, you know, all this happened right in front of us, and you're acting a little bit like a dick right now. Yeah, Hootsie I never, ever want you to end up like that lady right there.

And by that, I mean, dating a bloke that would propose in front of a gross marionette of a witch. And a carnival. I don't care how nice to carnival is. I don't care how magical and how much on your Instagram it is. Don't date no one who's gonna propose there in front of a gross witch mannequin. Find yourself a nice man.

It's not a gross witch mannequin. It is in her Tasha form. She's beautiful. She's very beautiful. Who would propose in front of a beautiful statue that's harder to than you all. We should know our place, you know. We should know what number we're at. And we don't want to have competing gays. For a mannequin? For a sex, you manniquet. Is it tough? Is it gonna be like, oh, I'll tell your fortune. Or does this make you laugh? Why don't you find out? I'm gonna attempt to push the

I'm gonna tell you push it to the aura of the box. I need you. I need you roll with some saving through. Oh shit. Frosty. Frosty. What are you doing? It's fine. Funny. It's not funny at all. Natural 20. Oh. You are able to fend off the effects

of Tasha's Hiddey's laughter. All right, uh, is a place to like put an electron piece or anything? I'm like looking around and see if it's, it appears to just be a mannequin depiction. It's like a, it's a humans or a lifelike doll in a cabinet. Oh, well that's it. No like fortune talent or any other kind of witching business.

Um, Maybe Graco can help you take a look. Ah! Ah! What is it? What is it? What? I got a four, naturally. So you failed. Oh, it was wisdom?

Oh. Oh, yeah. Have you lost your mind? Why are you pushing everybody towards this crazy? That is funny. It's crazy. What a man-a-pick? Six-7 plus seven.

So I still, uh... It's 11. 11. Yeah, you fail. You're pushed into it, and immediately you, everything, hilarious. Punched him. In the Frost, there's no cure for this.

I'm like, Will it Wonka, where they, like, loompa show up and carry the kids out. It's gone and it's over because that's, like, no way to fix him right away. Oh, goodness. That's what the fairies are going to do to him. Oh.

You don't think you're going to harvest the organs, do you? I don't know now. There's a... That was very wrong. I don't slide, but to you best friend, Grillo? Gideon, you better go help.

Oh, there's taffy, that'll just make me more laughy. I'll walk up to Grick on. Hey, hey, go out. Trying you're back on track. Wouldn't that have him cross the threshold in order for it? Oh, it would, yes. Can you please roll a missing saving throw for me? Don't get too close.

Oh no. You were an agent of chaos tonight, Derek. I appreciate this. Thank you. Do you. Wisdom saved? Yes, wisdom saving through. I had a natural 17. Oh, then you pass.

It's 13 as the DC. Okay, okay, okay. You were able to step in. You do feel the magic wash over you, but it doesn't affect you as you grab onto Grico and you start slapping him and shaking him. Oh.

Oh, I'm getting bruised. I'm giddy with giddy. Well, this is just a funny situation, regardless of the spell. Oh, so that's genuine laughter. Oh, yeah. Oh, my. I just feel like, you know,

I can't go about that one without hitting Grillo. It does look out of fun. Can I try? Okay, I walk in my slap. Oh, that's my head. Thank you. I'm not into it. It's just a little.

And it takes a while, but you do start to notice that some of the candy striper pixies are like hanging around outside of the outskirts as you're just slapping Grico. They're not really sure how to get in and help, but they do eventually dart in and shove a toffee down Grico's throat. It takes a bit of time, but you are able to be cured of the hideous laughter. Oh, God. Save him. Save him, Jim. Don't choke it down. Get it, no, no, no, get that.

How much mena is it? Oh, we'll only spit it up if I do that? Well, then we'll put it back down the right tooth. Oh, wait, no, I just cover his mouth and then hold his nose, and I just hold him down like this. I've done this before, I promise. And then, swallow it. He starts to go white.

Swallow it. Is that you doing that? Are you sure, give me a hand signal. Give me a hand signal. He passes out. Oh, okay. But you just, do you just, do you know, And then you does swallow as he has a right.

Well, here's the good news. The good news is to swallow the candy, I think he's fine. The bad news is, I don't know when I'll wake up. You watch him for one, two, three minutes, and he finally wakes up. Here you roll-played for that three minutes. Well, at least they gave him to all the half of the girl.

Oh, man. You feeling all right? Yeah. Dr. Gideon, MD. I'm just thinking about how that God waited eight years to propose to his best gal at a carnival like this. It's a very magical. You're thinking more like Cremies Carnival.

This is a wonder to behold. Hey. Listen, plenty of proposals. So, yeah, I guess it's more. It's more Disney. I'm thinking more of like Funland at the end of the pier. This is much more like Disney World.

Oh, okay. Oh, maybe we can do a character to meet and greet with his mom, grummy. Let's go talk to the mime. All right. What to do there, fella? He mimes taking his hat off and... I'll take my hat off and I'll put it back on.

You feeling all right. We heard that you got it. into a bit of a scuffle with a certain feathered friend or foe oh did that make you sad oh he he he choked you oh he cut your throat huh oh you can you cut your tongue out can we see oh no you know you got a tongue did the mime steal your voice oh wait the mime story of no the kanku stole your voice grimmy that should have been obvious from the very beginning I don't, I mean, he's, he's a mind, isn't that what you want? Why does it make you sad?

You, your ring finger? Oh, did you lose you best gal? Oh, because he can't speak. Did you attempt to propose to her in front of the, ill-with the fucking witch queen? Oh, no, yes, no, no. I'll bet this store would have opened that hour. Oh, wait, you're engaged or you're married?

You married? Engaged? Oh, he couldn't get married. Oh, I didn't. work. Did you attempt to propose or did you fail at proposing? Or you were

married and ch- Wait, wait, wait, wait, yes or no, yes or no, yes or no. I got it now. Yeah. Were you able to propose in the first place? Were you unable because you couldn't speak? Would you consider this a fate worse

than death? Oh, wow. You got problems, Rand. Oh, was you... Was your best gal a mom too? Okay, I was going to say, if it was that same mom girl I used to know, that'd be crazy coincidence. Did you lose your color through this process? Is that a snake? Ah, no, no, the Hall of Illusions.

No, is the thing that you love able to swim? Is it, oh. Oh. Is she in the river all around this carnival? She had the Swan Lake. Oh, she's in the river. Oh, she's probably the gondola! Can you point it where she, if she's in the carnival?

Can you point to her on the map where she would be? He does point to the water. The lake area or the river around it? Both the lake and basically anywhere there is water. Oh. Wow, so she really gets around. Don't say it like that. That's very funny, though. Oh no, he's confirming it. And she dies?

Well, you know, it's fine. It's nothing wrong with that. All right, fella. Is it something we can do to... Can we help you? Oh, yeah, all right. Oh, did your best gal look like this? Hold on.

You scoundrel. What did you call? What did you do? A giant breasted mermaid. Oh! Well, no wonder, you fell in love. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Those are sea shells. The color, the fact that you're completely gray scale is this related to this in any way. Oh, so you've lost your color. Was it also stolen from you? From the cancoup. So are you, were you even a mind before all this? I mean, what's the problem? He just actually turn you into a mind.

Oh, he wants to perform. Oh, he wants to bang them. Oh, you want to give up your momitude for a mermaid? Oh. She won't marry you unless you have color and voice. It's kind of superficial over. Yeah, I mean, as long as you have a nice personality, that's what my mom always told me. Well, how's he going to...

Wait. Oh, they fell in love because they spoke to you. Oh, you can find them of a ways. Anyway, how did the Kanku do all this? It seems quite powerful. There's no power. You have no questions. How did the Kanku do?

Hold on. Find a way to rephrase it so that he can say yes and no. Oh, rephrase it. Okay, hold on. In which way did the Kanku... Hold on. How about this? Hold on.

How about this? Oh, oh, hold on, go, oh, hold on. When Kanku took your voice, What was he or she doing? If I can get an upbringing. I mean, one more chance. I'm going to ask it. Maybe we're just asking,

which way did the Kanku go after they could just point? Hold on. I got it. Is the Kanku a powerful wizard or something? Oh. Oh, he's a powerful wizard. What? What are you mean?

Oh, he's a warlock. Wait, how do you know if a warlock? I mean, you're carrying a cane with a wizard. skull on. Oh, fuck. You know, that's much of it. You do look...

It's like glowing. Yeah. You're wearing a con badge that says Cremie, warlock, patron, Baron Zoffity. There's a small shirt and you can say a favorite. Did this happen

to you today? You've been like this for a long time. And it was this kanku still, the same one. Well, do you happen to know where it will? First, let me ask you this. If we kill him, would all this go back to normal? No, it won't. Do we need to steal something from?

Take something back? Oh, do we gift him something? What should we do? We can't kill him. We can't steal from him. This sucks. No, but we need to take something back. So if we bring him back here,

is that bad? that should be that'd be scared if we brought him back but if he were bound if you were unable to perform magic we could ask him or force him to give you back your color and your your boy we could off his beat what if all his hands were broken that's all very violent well there's no rules about being violent I just can't steal from no rules are there rules about violence in this carnival so we so if we murdered this cancun we wouldn't go to carnival jail? Oh, he would be sad.

No, no, the mood of the carnival would be ruined. Oh. What about justified killings of terrorists, politically motivated or otherwise? That's a good point. That's a good point. It might be causing mischief for some sort of... Yeah. Everyone would celebrate if we kill the terrorists. Yeah. If you'd be an enemy combatant, that's a whole other thing. Griko and the game, be killed terrorists.

Nah, da-na-da-na-na-na-na-na. Tangle neutralized. How hot is the kanku? Keku. Scala won the day. Oh, okay, so isn't that idiotous? Oh. Well, here's an interesting...

Okay, ten words. He's a ten. Oh, no, the mermaid. The mermaid. It's a woman. The Kanku is... Wait, Kanku can't flow. Why are you flapping your wings?

Well, Keku have wings. They don't have wings. They just got little hands. Well, that's sort of wing-like, I don't know. They're covered in feathers. Little hands. Eight words? Three, eight.

Eight. Eight words. Oh, she's a seven or eight. Oh, it's a, oh, it's a she. That's a pretty fine-looking candy. And let me guess your Murphoke is, like 10 over 10. Oh, that's a lot of tears. Oh, and then what number is she?

Ah! Oh, if only you can laugh, poor. Oh, what's your name? Oh. Oh. Fire? Lanton. Flame.

Lampwick. Fire. Lampwick. Orange. Fire. Yellow. Lenton. Heat.

Glass. Candle. Fire. Candlewick. You're your name is Candle? Just Camble. And then I'm not going to do it, but he raises his foot up and points at it.

Candlefoot. Candlefoot? Candle foot. A candle foot. A candle toe. Candle toe? Oh, wait. No, there's the old nursery rhyme.

Oh. Jack, be nimble, Jack be quick. Jack jump over the candlestick. Is you name Jack? Oh, oh, oh. Candle Tarantino. I thought you were going to go somewhere else when he said candletoe.

Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Yes, so he, yes, it is Candlefoot. Oh, okay. Great. Northwind Candlefoot. Oh, I don't know if you recognize me. I used to work at the.

The staff area also carved pumpkins and probably other things that will discover and improv along the way. This was many years ago. Yeah, it was a long time. I was into the drink a little bit. Aren't you hoping people don't recognize you here? Didn't you leave on not the best of terms? Yeah, I mean, I think they don't really care that I'll kidnap Hoots him. She's been walking around with this very cute pumpkin on her head and nobody seems to care.

So I feel like we're not really on the lamb, so to speak. I definitely kind of, you know, harsh the whole vibe of the economy. Thank God that's not the case. Yeah, that'd be very unfortunate. But I feel like they want to get rid of it anyway. I know that you can't answer complex questions very easily, but are you aware, yes or no, of the Kanku having additional abilities

beyond its ability to sap your color and your voice? You don't know. Very interesting. I'm bored now. You want to go to the hall of this? He lifts up his whole point. punch and motion for your tickets. Hold on, hold on, real quick.

Last thing. Would you be happy if we found the Kanku and robbed it of all of his possessions? Brokutton's hands? Yeah. Cut off its beak. Brok it. Found it too.

You can't get away. That makes you sad. A little scared? All right. Okay. We won't bring the Kanku back here because the Kaku's a powerful wizard, but we'll steal all of its things. We can still cut off its beak and break the tins.

He went from scared to happy and then back to scared again. Oh, is that scared? Why don't we have to- Is that more ponderous? You just look a bit confused. Are Kenku beaks valuable, Chromy? Well, I'm thinking if it's like a wizard, and he can be like, and my cat spells.

Can't wait, if we could have, if we could off your snout could do voodoo magic? Don't fucking think about that. No, I'm just saying, by the powers of voodoo and alligators. If I can't speak, absolutely. You've just given me an idea. What?

Be Kenku. Ken who? has stolen a voice. It's doing it again. Don't Kenku's normally communicate with mimicry? The Kenku then we are going to find. Oh, this is a tragic tale of a misunderstood bird who just wanted to beat her own curse on account of her horrible dog, and it's not her fault that they was all cursed.

Well, how about that time she almost killed that dwarf? Oh, that's true. true. He seemed like he was kind of a dick. Maybe he deserved him. We don't know his backstory. Well, that's fair. All right. Well, can you somehow mind what we can do to help you

if it's possible? He looks towards you and... You're a mermaid. A snake. He points towards your map. I don't know. And he motions to the...

the river around it and points directly at the gondolas ones. Oh. I felt a little bit of regret when we passed by those gondolas ones. I feel like the order of operations for this mystery may have illuminated itself organically. I imagine many people who come to this carnival just do it in a clockwise order. Well, look, now we have the clues, so when we go back, we can address it properly with the right information. Oh, right? Okay, so is it, is the kanku at here on my point?

You don't know. Is your mermaid lady friend there? No. There's a snake there, a little fish. He was trying to motion towards the water, essentially signifying to you that the gondola ride takes that entire perimeter of the carnival, so it is a great place to get information

because it sees all of it in one, one hour ride. And your love could be at any spot on the entire room. He points to the Silver Song Lake. Okay. on the lake. Oh, probably. I mean, oh, probably in that

big clam. That was actually, that was not a bit. That was actually Mikey. I can't even get Gricko's voice quite right. Yeah, well, yeah, no, no, right,

so I'm good, okay, I'm funny. Oh, I was gonna tell you. Okay, I'm back, I'm back. Well, I think we know that we have to do the gondola swarms now. Even though it sounds boring. I got some,

clown-flavored popsicle in my fro. It's just the toffee. Oh. What does it taste like clown? No. Maybe clowns taste like toffee? Oh, hot toffee tastes like clown. Does anyone know what toffee's made out of? Yes, I do.

Oh. It's not very exciting. Let's go to the whole of a living. Is there anything else that you would like to convey to us through motion? All right, so after this, we'll go right to the lake. Scouts on. The gentleman who ran in here didn't get his ticket punched. Does that mean that Gideon gets to punch him? Oh.

No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Are there consequences? We have to worry about, you're scared. You're scared about the consequences for the band. So he just gets to do that with no consequences? No, there will be consequences. We can't uphold the justice of the carnival.

Oh, wait, what's your name? Candlelight. Candlelight. Oh. Candlefoot. Are you on a break with your memory? mermaid lady. It sounds like he...

Did she have any like favorite interest or hobbies? Oh, swimming, no. I should have guessed that. That's pretty obvious. Probably what's singing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I said it before even short, yeah. Okay. What you'd expect?

Rather than that. I mean, just because that legs doesn't mean I enjoy walking. He's my fucking ticket. He's my fucking ticket. Here you go, Kendallfoot. I don't feel like we really got to interest to whether there are consequences for not getting punched. getting punched yeah we should all just rush in just walk in here as long as we get it

punched don't have to worry about it I'd say it was a player to meet you but we'll get your voice back let's uh let's find out of what this is fucking fun hull of illusions all that happened is this you no you does this you have a curse right now I never know oh the hall of illusion like asshole frauds that that one got me You walk into the Hall of Illusions and you're immediately met with walls and walls of mirrors. It's hard to tell which way this place turns and moves because the mirrors are reflecting everything back at you. And as you look into them, you see that you are reflected back as children. The forms that you had taken when you were kids.

What would each of you have looked like as a child? It seems very natural way right now. Yeah. I would probably have like a very rounder cherubesque face. I'm thinking like young Simba kind of action. I would have a very haughty look on my face. Like I'm obviously the protagonist of the everyone's story. I would probably have.

obviously I'd be a lot smaller. And I haven't grown into my ears or my nose yet. So, and my hair is absolutely wild. So it's like that, the vulture from the Robin Hood movie. Where he's like, he has the thing and his beat comes out from the hair. So basically I, I haven't grown into my chin. And so it's just like a complete main of hair

and just massive ears and nose and maybe like a little bit of a chin coming out and like that's, and my mouth. So you can't see my eyes. Yeah, I think I'd be smaller, obviously, like way, way smaller. I wouldn't be anywhere near like strapping or strong-ish looking, yeah, scrawny.

Still like your, though. Tussled hair. Yeah, yeah. And instead of a majestic, full beard, It's just a five o'clock shadow at eight years old. It's just how it wasn't real life, you know? So, yeah. I would be a, so this creme that you see,

would be a short, scrawny kid with a tattered overalls, dirty white shirt with like a big, a leather, like, straw kind of beat up hat. Looked like he was just sort of stomping around in the mud, or catching frogs or, you know, helping his me monster the gumbo, you know, something like that. It's totally different. Not at all the crisp dress cremee that you're used to. Oh, so our outfits also would reflect.

Yeah, you would look like what you look like. You don't look like that as you look at each other. You're clearly adults. You're clearly yourselves. It's just a reflection in the mirrors are resembling yourselves and your youth. I presume it would be me in my current robes, but just the appearance was changing. No, you just look like. So without my robes on, and as a reflection of my childhood,

I would be wearing like simple farmer forms. I'd probably be like, ooh, because I'd probably wearing like alligator skin or like crocodile skin. You know, something that would be in like a bog or something. Like there'd be like leopard pelt or like, you know, something like that. What is that? Do I look at? Are we going to transform?

And I look around and I see... Oh, look at little grickow! I would escape! We're in a hall of illusions, Cremie. Ah, this is what happens. This isn't so bad. I know a thing of two about illusions. Oh, look at Hootie!

This is some advanced stuff. Oh, she's so cute! I thought you were cute now, but... Oh my goodness, no, the day I met and she looked just like that. Wow. What a fuzzball. She's a little fudgy February Bowl. You think this is just these mirrors or like any kind of me? I need you all to roll a wisdom saving.

I'm reaching for my compact mirror as this happens. I bet you never thought you'd hear that in a DNA. Give me them 12. Okay. 15. I will not be allowing twists of fate in the Hall of Illusions. That's your prerogative. 26.

Okay. What did you get? 15. 18. Okay. Well, Frost, you are a child. You look as, as, as, Frost now resembles the child in the mirror.

You begin to shrink down and your clothes change. You are this eight-year-old Frost. Okay, it's oaks. What? Wait. Am I still me? I flip up the open the compact mirror and I check my cane and on my mustache. Is it still there?

It is still there. When I pull out like this thing that looks basically like this big, a tube of blacker stick and I retouch my pencil thin mustache that I keep on the end of my snout. What is hard? The DC's 15. No. She's a success.

Yeah, you're still you. Am I still me? You're still you? I mean, the three of us are still us. Oh, look at how cute Frosty is. He's a little kiddie whiskers. Just because I look like that in the mirror. No, you look like that now. Yeah, now you actually turned into a child. Oh, my goodness, do you want to write hoot, see?

Well, I'd look in the mirror, but this is how I... Oh. Oh. Well, shit. Well, you've got small little kitty legs. Look at your paws. You've grown into them. You're gigantic.

Yeah, I'm the same height as you now. Oh, no. Look, hey, roots. Hey, you're a child. Why don't we rap about how listening to your parents is cool and how you should do your chores after school? I really wasn't that cool The kid

Oh we've got to go to the rat man's Toll casino Go on the alley No, don't go behind the alley Apparently that's not an attraction Well You gotta get through the raccozy He did the toilet casino

Run by the Ratman Oh, okay And his jamboree Do you feel any different otherwise Like is your mind still Like you have the mind of a child I have all my memories And knowledge

I just uh Oh could you frivol of a brain is just by looking at it, Stephen? I'm not going to try. I'd probably fry all of your brain and start just giving you a look. Okay, should I? Well, remember, you still have that effect,

the fake curse, that makes you think you're a child. Yes, so. Oh, this is interesting. Oh. Do I have the personality of myself as a child, but my abilities, or do I? No, you believe that you are just eight-year-old Frost. I would say you still have your memories,

like, in the sense that you know who everyone is, but you don't believe that you have your abilities. Hey, frog, catch. And I throw my cane, I probably done it before, and expect you to catch it with your mind. Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, I thought you catch it. I would never very dexterous.

Oh, that was so much better than him catching it. Ow! Well, no, I'm not. The point is you should have caught it with your mind, not with your hands. I mean, you gotta tell me next time, right? Oh, you're so cute. I don't think I can.

I mean, when I was eight, I only had a sense of my ability. I couldn't even do the talking into the brain stuff. What is this? The playlist ran out probably. Oh, it's Thomas. Thomas. Thomas, shut up. Gosh, Tom's sister has such a nice voice, but she just doesn't, can't read the room.

She can't read the room for the life of her. Okay, little Frosty. Gosh, look at you. need to eat something. Does anyone have any food? Looky's wasting away. I could eat. Will you like a rat snack? Do little children eat rat snacks that are tobacco? Let's finish the... We're in a hall of illusions with this goal. Let's let's let's we got a punch ticket where if we have to go out and get food and then come back, we're gonna have another punch date. Let's just fucking... Okay, well you stay with Hootty

buddy system. It's like a field trip. Can you ride Hootzie? Yeah, you got to. I don't want to do that. Well, you have to run Hootzy, okay? I don't want to do that. Well, you have to. No, I don't. You know, very, Do you see how small you are? Do you see how you are too small for this ride? No, I'm going to go forward and I'm with maybe there's four years. Young men. What? You need to listen

to Uncle Cremie and Uncle Gideon, okay? And you're going to buddy up, it's going to be a buddy system of Hootsie. And you're going to let the adults lead you through. And you're going to stay out of trouble, okay? And you will get a nars sweet, a noss wedge of cake

and a pinwheel, perhaps. Very weird feeling like you're eight and having decades of memories that are adult. Well, this is a horrible messa. This is a really fucked up place to be, you know? It's kind of this, your mind gets fraught. I'm kind of used to it at this point.

I'll hold on to Hootzie. Very nice. Hootchy, noxy look. Frosty your ugly buddies. I think about like punching the pumpkin, but I reconsider it. Grab on to Hootie and I'll let you leave me to the next mirror set and hope that this reverses my age,

and I'm probably going to become an old man and ship my diapers the moment. And you do make your way further in, and you keep looking, and you're trying to find the turns, and it seems like it's fairly, it's fairly linear in the sense that it doesn't give you too many choices

on which way to go, but as you move through, you finally start to notice that you're not reflecting as children anymore. You're in your early teens. Early to mid teens. I need you all to roll a wisdom saving throw place. Oh, no.

I hope I passed. 16. Okay. D.C.'s 15. 19. I have to start raising D.C. for level three. Jesus. Yeah.

I'm just rolling hot fire. You should add 10 to everything. I'm rolling hot fire. Because between this and the twists. Yeah. 11. 10. The two of you immediately transform into your early teen selves.

and I do want everyone to describe yourselves. You remain a child. Yeah. But Grico, you are now physically the oldest of the group as you're next to Child Frost and Teen Kremi and Teen Gideon. Hootsey fails, but I presume nothing would change. She looks pretty much the same. There's one Zit, right?

Yeah, she's got one Zit. Oh, well, so what you'll see is Kremi would be wearing an apron and kind of a dirty chef's hat and just some simple kind of clothes that he would have had from Agway. Around that time, he would have gotten his first jobs cooking in the Crawadadad order. Crawdett order.

Yeah, and Gideon probably start to be a little more defined, and not definitely not like bulky, but similar kind of outfit, but would be covered, like, very, like, dirty, covered in just, like, just like dirt from working the fields with his, with his dad. What does teen Grico and Teen Frost look like? Cricko's hair is even longer. Black eyeliner. Yeah, exactly.

No, it's, and he has very clearly like a, some sort of leather, perhaps. like a wolf or some sort of swamp creature leather jacket it looks very much like like what's his name Eddie from stranger from stranger oh yeah it looks like a leather jacket and there's like some sort of a strange word written in goblin seemingly on the back across a cross that and he looks very kind of like rebellious I'm gonna come his nails are painted black oh yeah oh yeah he's gonna to join basically a metal band basically. Perfect. Love that. Love that for him.

Yeah. Compared to the like laboring clothes that I'm in now, and I assume that my clothes did change when I turned transformed into a child. Yes, they did. In the mirror, you do not see the robes yet of such dramatic quality that Frost typically wears. Instead, he's wearing like a dark tan, not quite brown, very, very simple, almost like monkish outfit with a very dark green sash, but it is uned. dormant. It's extremely minimal. And you can see he's starting to get some of his definition in the sense that he's like, not beefing up because he's not a strong man, but he is better eat. He's more well-eaten, let's say. And he is starting to get like just a little bit of the tuffs here and whatnot, but his full beard has quite grown in. He looks thin and sort of serious and determined.

I would say. And you are a young child, an eight-year-old, looking at what you're going to look like when you're 15. It's a strange place to be, whereas the two of you, you're looking at, that's what you look like right now. You are. Oh, man.

You're young again. This is great. I haven't felt this flexible, my back hasn't felt this good in years. How do you, how do you think? Oh, my goodness. How don't I look? Oh.

I mean, I hope this is temporary. I don't really know how they're doing this, but this feels awfully real. I mean, it would be better if it wasn't temporary. We'd be able to look much longer lives. Well, who knows how much of, you know. It would be a horrible existence, I'll imagine. There'd be some cost.

Are we still the age we are just looking like this, though? I mean, you never imagine going back and re-experiencing life, but with their same memories, it suddenly transported into a youthful body. You know, when I was this age, I so wanted to not be who I was. I so wanted to wear those nice suits

and make all that money. But, you know, it was simple times. It was fun times. It was cooking, you know, making my gold piece. But you're not who you were. You're who you are now with all of your memories. My God, you're greasy. I'm actually just, just, just,

dirty from the fields. I have thought about living these years again. I, you know, I didn't quite get the opportunity the first time. The Hobgoblin Warhost rolled in and took these years away from it. So, I don't know. That's a lot of hair on your arms for 15. That's impressive. Just genetics.

They can do about it. Isn't it pronounced genocene? Genotics, is what I said. Genetics. Well, you two lads, two young men, you keep an eye on the children in the back. All right. And just make sure these scamps don't get into trouble. Make sure that Hootie keeps balancing their little pumpkin very cutely.

Like my chef's hat? Boisat. You like my chef's hat? Oh, yes. It's quite a brush-crumbing. I thought I thought I. Oh, geez, don't chill that. That gennossi.

I'm going to go back at Dr. Candletoe. The genufi was quivering in anticipation. The genus is going to write a lemon. Oh. About the genussi. Anyway, I think I look pretty good in the April. Chest hair. Does it actually change our clothes?

It changes your clothes and it changes your personalities. You are a 15-year-old you. Well, I mean, you still cook for us. No, I know, and I'll still have an apron. The chef's hat's not as old and dirty. Yeah. It's just sort of something charming about. I don't think I could, honestly, it's weird to picture you not, like, completely perfectly put together.

Or when you're not put together, very upset that you're not perfectly put together. It's very interesting. Yeah, but, you know, when sort of where I'm at now, it feels normal, you know what I mean? sort of where I am now I guess where I will be oh man this is kind of weird but like you know

so you're less neurotic when you're living it every day you know it's a far off ambition and then you get it it's like well I gotta do more and then you kind of get more and it's like oh shit well I gotta keep up

I gotta keep doing it well just like a young Gideon it's a good lesson for you young man you should always think about this when you're striving to be the best what is the winner of the party contest kit, more pie.

Let us continue from this whole of illusion. I think you were cool with the cane. Oh, my cane. Oh, I'm sure. This is all an illusion. You're probably just still moustache-oed crummy lacrew with your top hat.

That's frying pan. Oh. And maybe it's knife, too. Well, maybe you can make you some of your famous bignets, but from you earlier. Anyway, keep on the little precocious rascals. And you progress further into the Hall of Allusions.

And you continue to walk and you see yourself age directly in front of you as you walk past these mirrors. It's a strange feeling to see the progression from your youth to where you were when you walked in. Now all of you are staring at yourselves exactly as you had been. And I all need you to roll a wisdom saving through. Oh.

When you walked in, yes. Okay, this is this is true back to normal. Modern, Mark, and Modern, 10. Yes. I kind of will faint. I don't win the 19. 10.

18. You remain a youthful, a youthful Gideon. You failed this one, so you don't get to go back to your form. Nothing happens to you, Grico. Nothing happens to you, Frost. You're still child Frost. But you do regain your form again, Premi, as your cane appears.

in your hand, your top hat is pristine, your, um, it looks like you've just applied your pencil thin mustache. Well, I'm back, but none of you are. Yeah, no, I'm still. I feel like we, I was kind of ripped off by this whole of illusions. Well, I mean, maybe you should be less wise. Ever thought about that, Ricko? Is that how that works? I mean, in the better sense, I mean, I quite like the illusions that I'm seeing in the mirrors, but the fact that I'm like, Oh, it's just me. I mean, you know, it's nice for a little bit, but at the end of the day,

I'm glad I am where I am, I guess. After getting all of our money embezzled by Reynolds. His name was Colin first. Oh, I keep forgetting his name was Colin. Oh, God, he probably hated me. He was an energy vampire. Oh, Colin. Why did I think his name was

Reynolds? Why didn't know and no one correct me? Because it was funny. It was funny. I just got past him we ate oatmeal together every single morning. I was like, oh really, hey, Reynolds, how you're doing and no one ever corrected me. That's probably why he bezzled

so much gold. Probably because of you. He probably hated you. Oh, gosh. I didn't maintain him. Hopefully it wasn't because I didn't pay him a few times. Out of way. There were a lot of angry colonies. Anyways.

Anyway. Shall we continue? You continue. Okay, young men, young lads, learn from to follow Uncle Crummy and Uncle Grico on another world wind adventure. Perhaps you would return. And you continue to make your way through watching your life pass before your eyes as you walk through this hall of illusion.

This is the nightmare. And you finally get to what feels like, there feels like there's a little bit more left to this Hall of Illusions, but you find yourselves. in a circular room with all the mirrors pointing towards you. You all look into them and you see yourselves in your old age, 90, 100 years old in human equivalency times, however that works for each of your races. And advantage's most races are humanish.

And you stare at yourselves, your skin wrinkled, your hair gray, your body's hunched from years of carrying just the weight of the world on your shoulders and I need you all to roll for a wisdom saving throw. Oh, please God. The DC is higher on this one. Please, no. 15. Grico gets a natural one.

Cootsie gets a 21. We can't twist, can we? Nope. 11. Four? Every single one of you feels your body begin to change. You feel aches and pains in places you didn't even know existed on your body. As your, your, your,

shoulders hunch, your skin begins to sag, your hair turns gray. It is, it's difficult to stand. You're using your cane to hold yourself up. Gain zoog skin. So you're just 36. Oh no, my everything hurts. What? Oh. What are you saying? Why are you doing? When's it stop shouting, Frosty? Hootsie. Are you doing it? Oh, because you're just doing. Christine. I'm Frost. At least I still have his cane. Have I told you about the Harodrum? What?

Speak up, Bro, Mr. Frosty Harrodrum died a decade ago. Why was everyone whispering? The Haradrum. What? Harodrum. Oh, Galadrums. Yeah.

Well, I suppose I. This better not be permanent. We should all enjoy some ye-old fashions, I think. I wouldn't say no to that. There we know. Well, Gantzooks, I think I'd like to continue on or get transformed back. I think I'd like to take a nap. Well, that sounds good.

Early dinner. Wait? No, it's a little late for dinner already. It's four o'clock. And yes, no. We already miss supper. Oh, gosh. We miss supper.

We miss the early. Oh, no. It's special. I'm going to propose shuffle board. Oh, that's awful. Let's go to the displacer beast track. Hmm. Hmm. I've developed a little bit of a gambling habit in me old age, so I love it.

The chairs are so uncomfortable. After I've earned all of me gold from old Braslov, may he rest in peace, presumably if we're this old, he must be a spooky skeleton. Guys, I hope I don't make him this long. Can we just go to Bingo? Oh, leopardie is on. I'm going to go to the tracks. I'm going to put in my teeth. Well, you know I wouldn't mind watching Lepardy.

Oh, well. I love Lepardy. Why don't it would you sit down and, I think, washing Lepardy was a lot less. Last time the contestant lost and he tried to reason with the Lepard's sky. I like to get it. We can't miss that next episode. I keep forgetting the answer in the form of a question. Oh, straight to leopard with you.

Anyways, I'll feel like we should move on at this point. I feel like this bit has kind of run its course. What the old thing? I feel like this has gotten enough room to breathe. We met all the older references we could possibly think of. That's not true. I just hope that when we transform back, into our old selves, that it cleans the shit out of my pan.

It's the, we proceed. I say out of character. Mikey says out of character that we proceed. We're a circular room of mirrors. Crenny's the final, the snow hallway. Isn't there? Are we in a circular room? Yeah, you're in a circular. There's always a path forward.

Yeah, and you move around and you eventually find the place where the mirrors Zara. Your hip. Hermit breaks a hip and a mirror. But you eventually find the opening in the mirrors. And do you guys want to proceed further? You want to stay in this room?

No, please. And as you make your way out of this room, you once again see the mirrors lining the hallway, but you feel yourselves return back to your normal forms. As the mirrors that reflect in front of you are of the of what you should look like in this time on this timeline. There is, however, something different

about this space. At the very end of this hallway, there is a much larger gilded mirror. The metal that it's made out of is almost like the way light shines through a crystal prism as it illuminates with rainbow colors. And you see in front of it

just staring, into the mirror is the halfling man that you saw run in here. And he, it sounds like he's talking to someone. And as you make your way further down the hallway, you see that on the opposite side of the mirror, there is a small girl dressed in rags, a pig mask on her face. As she leans in and motions towards him to come follow her. You see that her spindly arm reaches out of the mirror towards him reaching for his hand. You listen as it's clear that he's upset as he says, and all whole on it was just to ask her to be my wife.

We've been saving up for seven years to come to this carnival. It is tough to get that many gold pieces to come to a place like this. We've loved each other for so long. And I just, when I told her that I had something special I wanted to say when we went to the Hall of Mirrors so she could see how beautiful she was, the way I see her in my eyes, I thought it was going to be the perfect place, and then she just starts laughing at me.

It was awful, and I didn't know what to do, and I ran in here. It's okay. It's all right. Just come with me. The hourglass coven has a place for you. I promise they'll make all your dreams come true. The sadness you feel. feel will go away.

They might even make you forget this day. You see that you don't have your ticket punch. That's all right. Do I get... With us. Do we get the sense that this is not an illusion? It is very clear. It is not an illusion.

Are we all back to our normal selves? Hey, guys, do you feel like that that woman is too pig-masky and far too arm-spinly to be someone that, that halfling fellow should follow. It's in great danger. We need to go out. Excuse me, would you kindly please stay away from the gentleman

and I cast a suggestion on the hag. Go ahead. It's a, I think it's a wisdom saving. I don't know if it's a hag. I don't know, or whatever. It could be a servant of a hag. I mean, said cover. It passes.

Well, if it's a hag would suggest it wouldn't work. Step back, sir. Step back, you, you're in great danger. Oh, fuck. You watch as he turns to look at you and she reaches up and grabs his face. No, they can't help you. Only we can.

And she grabs his hand. Come with me. And he begins to step through the mirror. No, no, no, no. Wait, it was a misunderstanding. She still loves you. He stops for just a second. And he shakes his head.

No, she never loved me. And he steps in through the mirror. And you hear a clank. as the wedding ring, the engagement ring that he had been carrying hits the floor. As he disappears into the shimmering surface of this prismatic mirror, you watch as this small pig-like creature, it looks like a child in rags wearing a pig mask, fully steps into frame and looks at all of you. From one to the next to the other,

and a big smile appears on the half of her face that is visible beneath the pig mask, small razor-sharp teeth as she looks at you, almost with a sense of glee, and she turns and disappears into the shimmering darkness. No, no, no, no, no, I mean, there's some kind of doorway, and I'm going to run up to the golden mirror and try to, like, feel around.

You feel it, and at first it feels almost malleable, but then you feel that it begins to harden, and that strange, shimmering green prismatic light that you see behind it. It's like a, the best way to describe it is if you, if you were looking into a rainbow, but there was almost like a murky green film in front of it. It's kind of what it looks like.

A rainbow in a swamp. You see as that begins to fade away. And all you see is the reflection of all four of you staring at this mirror. And that is where we'll end the session. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of of Aventras podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or higher to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh,

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