Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 40 | Still Life

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Captured lornlings in tow, the Krew explores more of Bavlorna's hut...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/Vtv9xv627eM?si=U5esAiCiQogVU25k

Welcome to Legends of Adventress. What a do, the name's Cremely Le Crewe. You're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. If the Vlornet doesn't eat soon, then we're all gonna be fucked. What we'll do is we'll give you two of these little fuckers to kill. There are two mounted goblin heads in the dining room. Two of them like to hang out inside the mounts of the goblin heads. There is some movement upstairs. It takes a couple of minutes before you see this naked dangling satyr directly in front of your face.

The cage spins around in the air as he looks at all of you, completely nude and completely free. It is lovely to meet all of you. By pure happenstance, we've found ourselves in each other's presence. You know what, this requires a reward. One large blooming rose. He spins it around in his hand and he tosses it out to you. And Frost you immediately see, as the light shines on this, a glint of magic. Yes, luck would be on all of our sides today.

now. And with a wry smile, he turns and jumps off of the balcony and disappears. What happened? What happened? Well, it may not be in your... It may... It's not only plain existence anymore. Yeah, but you all need stuff, though.

Porbeck needs answers about the other. You need help with your debt. Gideon's married to way too many people. Grickle has athletes' foot. He's really smart, but he can use some common sense, no offense. Halfway down the hall between this door and a smaller one, there's a large ornate mirror. And you find yourself in what appears to be a dining room peeking out from the darkness of each one of the doors.

Inside the open mouths of these goblin heads, the eyes of two mournlings as they look out of you. Gideon, you go to grab the lid and put the lid on top. And then you hear... No! No! No! We'll tell you whatever you want. We'll tell you how to access the mirror! You are all standing in the dining room of Bevlorn of Lightstraw's cottage, and you have, you have just recently used your abilities to locate and procure the lornlings that were inside of the two mounted goblin heads over the door. And with some quick,

is it psionics? Is that what you use? Yeah, quick thinking. With some quick, thank you, Derek. With some quick thinking, you are able to utilize your magics to transport them from inside the heads into the pot that you had procured in the kitchens, directly strapped to Gideon's back. And as they're both stuffed into this space, they immediately begin to panic. And for the first time you hear them speak as they call out to you to do not harm them. they will teach you how to utilize the magical mirrors that Bavlona Blytrai has at her disposal. You look into the pot and you see them both pressed up against the edges, one on either side.

Their tiny, frail body shaking in fear as they look up at you with their huge toad-like eyes and their teeth chattering together and their nervousness as they wait for you to respond. You are all huddled around them looking down. down at them. What do you do? Like hell, we're gonna fucking do that. Kitihan, heat him up a little. No, no, no, no. He's got something, man.

No, we can't trust them. Are you fucking kidding me? The only one thing's ever progressed us at all, and it's killing things. I don't think it's a matter of trusting them. I just don't know what value there is and understanding how to use the magic mirrors as in the first place. Perhaps you can explain that a little ones. What, uh, why would we care about these magic mirrors?

Do you want to go back home? A home, home is in back to the mortal... That door you belong. Well, that can mean a lot of different things, depending on who you ask. There are two mirrors in this place. One upstairs? One down. One goes back home.

One goes to Mother. Which one goes to the mortal plane? Downstairs. Okay. We saw the other one up here. I don't trust him. I think he's lying. Well, you think that, you think this one here's the one they're talking about, or there's like an even other one upstairs?

Oh, this was kind of like a creepier. We already knew about a mirror downstairs, because we saw those two guys. But you don't know how to get into it. How do you get into them? A secret word. A secret word. What is the secret word? I can't tell you unless you promise not to do it.

I thought I was going to get them. I thought you were going to get them too. It was just going and going. No deal. Hold on, hold on. Let's at least hear them out. What happens if we kill you? You don't get the secret word.

You can use it to barter with mother. I mean, like to you, can you just like, I don't know, sluff off a few more of you? How are you made? I don't know, but I don't want to die. Why are you so ugly? Why are you such a little fuck? Wow, Bricko, look.

See? Barry is in the eye of the holder. You got... No one's the holding me right. All right. You suck. All right. Just chill out.

Let's chill out. Okay, let's say you tell us. What do we do? Just let you free? Yes. What's your? Back into the goblin heads. And you're not going to go tell Bavis?

have lona what we're up to? Nope. Arips are sealed. How do those goblins die? I don't know. They've always been here. Can I ascertain if they're lying or are truthful? Yeah, you can roll in.

You can always try. I'm gonna twist. You're pretty insightful. I think you're a little quick. Oh. They seem to be telling the truth. on the truth. Hmm.

All right, fellas, what do we think? Elaine. Oh, well. Let's sidebar away from them real quick. You're gleaning in with the punt on your back now. Well, yeah, but I'm leaning so they can. Yeah, they can't listen. If they want, I can watch them.

Well, no, I don't want them to be watched, because then they're gonna think they're beautiful. You just don't look at them. I think they're kind of cute like the big eyes. No, it's not. Put the white down. Don't get the first down. steps away and Twik can sit on top of the pot and make sure that...

I'm just saying if you don't want to hear, you've got to move away. But you also don't want to move away and then nobody keeping an eye on them, because they could run away and get back in the coffin heads. Well, we may need you for this conversation, Twig? Oh. Well, do you think we could let Torbeck do it since he's just standing over there completely silent? Oh, Tombeck. Yeah, why didn't you?

Just plopping up. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Shut the fuck out. Why, you plab of mouth? I'm fired up. I'm sorry, Toby. That was out of line. Toolback, great idea. Why don't you hold a pot?

Perfect. And we'll sard bar away. Just hold the lid on it so they can't get out, all right? You sit on top of it or like, sloop yourself all around it and, like, wrap it up. Cannonball style. Yeah, you could probably get your arm around there at least like five or six times, you know? Oh, look, it's you, and he puts the lid on and sits on top of them. You hear banging on the inside. Imagine the smell.

Yes. Yes. Okay, now Twigs here. That's me. What do we think? Well, I mean, with the whole idea, we were going to get in good with red boots. Well, are there any other ones that you could find?

I mean, we're all ready in pretty good with old bloody toes, right? That's what I'm saying. And those little fuckers help steal hootsie. We said we were going to try. All right? Stupid little faces. Well, there are two of them. Can you think you could kill one of them

and keep one of them alive? Oh, that's a great idea. I say, hey, we killed your friend. Tell us everything you want to know. And if he does it, we'll torture him. Grico, have you ever made two fellas draw straws? I don't know the meaning of the work. Locked down at the mulk shop.

It's not pleasant. You understand? No, I don't know what you mean. Let's say we decided to do that. How do we decide which one dies and which? one lives. Any, many, money froze. The first one to tell us the secret of the

magic mirrors would live. Oh. I think they both in on the deal. Look, I don't think we can cut the deal with one of them and kill the others what I'm saying. I'm saying, if we want the information, we keep both alive, and maybe we find another one to give the bloody toes. Yeah, maybe they know locations of the

other ones, and they can say, look, we could kill one of you regardless, so it's either going to be you, or it's going to be one of the other ones. So, tell where we could find one or let lights out. Well, what if they're held for two? It's my point. What if these things are useful? Well, then we'll ask them to find those ones alive.

And if, at the end of the day, we end up making deals and bargains with all of them, and they can all give us something we want. We have an army of towed creatures. Well, look, what happens if we kill Babylon? And then once she dies, they all collapse into sludge anyway. Well, then that's what I'm saying. We get the stuff that they promised beforehand. Well, was Bletito was gonna give us something for doing this?

I forget, I got brain freeze because I was eating all those C-Cucumber rectangle pants up. C-C-C-C-C-Cumber Robert Trousers. I don't know, man. I didn't watch the show, all right? I grew up in a prison train, okay? They didn't give me cable to tell mere images or whatever you guys always fucking say. I'm not even exposed to it, all right?

It's high comedy. Oh, God. Very absolute. Not a touch your subject. Didn't he like a fly pad? No, not of a fly pad. We're wearing chains the whole time. We barely move around.

I'm sorry. That's rough. Yeah, did she want to do? What was she going to do first today with why were we to live in her one of these? Oh, yeah. She was going to give us some valuable information about Florida. Hmm. Do you just remember how valuable was?

I'm telling me. She wants two little fuckers so she can stomp them into paste. Look, he's... And that's true. I'm just going to get down to brass tax, all right? What they said... Why did they say that?

It has to do with the tax that they use in engineering or something. They're real small. Oh, yeah, I can go out into it, but it'd be very boring, so I don't think you'd want to hear up. Like when they take all your money and then you can't keep your in open because you're working really hard,

but most of your money is just flying off in nowhere for some brando to use fucking tax collection. Twiggis, it's making me mad, Twigs! But there are no roads are ever built! Twigs, that's only if you report it. You don't know the first thing about running a business, all right? We've got to help you out.

You were the tax man knocking at your door. No, you don't. That's why I keep two sets of books, all right? One that's, you know, like wrong and horrible, and then the other one where you look for in Pateralles. I believe I've solved most of these problems with the tax policy that I gave the King of Downfall. Oh, did you say tax policy vacant?

I don't really have time to get it. Does not exist. No, it's going to take a long time. It's like it doesn't have time to get into brass tax. I can't. We just can't get into the brass tacks. I just always wonder because I hear people say that sometimes. I'm like, what's tax?

Why is it brass? Imagine a tack, you know, that's made up brass. It's about energy conduit movement throughout the particle accelerators of, I can't get into this right now, all right? We've got to focus on the matter of hand. Look, look. This may be a little. murder, hoboy, but we could promise the lornalings that we won't kill them in order to get the password,

and then we will leave them with bloody jokes. We said that we wouldn't kill you. Oh, from a surgeon point of view, I am picking up with your laying down, Frosty. Oh, from a certain point of view. I feel I'm turning more into evening, Frosty. That's just a being this horrible place. Like that time you were Count Frost, your love. You were burying body left. Was it a count forced or something? It's so often. Oh, yeah.

Look, I feel like there's probably some kind of Faye rule against that, right? I mean, does he even remember the fucking... Oh, no. The rules! No, Jaycees back, sees. Rule of hospitality. Never live what after Shmaiday?

The rule of ownership and the rule of reciprocity. But, A, those rules don't live certainly in the... headquarters of one of the hangers taken over. I don't think there's any rule against it. That's kind of like, that's how Faye, that's how Faye Borgans work, you know? Like, you're always trying to out-talk the other person so that you can get what you want but not actually have to do what you decided you could do. It's the way of it. And the better you won't make it bargains, the further you're going to go.

Huh? What? Well, if you're watching a fly. And there are flies everywhere. The table is laden with rotting food. He's still got that brain freeze. He's thawed out. He's thawed out on the end.

If given the chance, the lornaings would try to harm us. We don't know that. Well, as minions of Bavlona. We have seen one already. And all it did was giggle and gulp the stairs. What if we kill Bavlona and they're all free? And they get to join the frog society and do their own thing.

Uh, what to live, never growing, or something. Monculus, what's the rest of their existence? Well, you to judge. How much of the monculus enjoys existence. Hey, Torbeck, can you ask them how much they enjoy existence? Torback will ask. That's my question. Yeah, that's a B plus.

You can napole. Everyone's going to knap and then you does ask. What does that sound like? Torbeck is sad. Do you make as a question? Questions? But he doesn't. He doesn't have a question. Because Torbeck is sad, and he turns towards the corner, and he just stares into the corner and ignores everything you say, because I don't

want to do that voice to me. Well, we'd have to ask them. Ourselves, it seems. But I'm sure that they would tell us their existence is filled with purpose and joy. I don't know, man. I'm really liking Frosty suggestion here. We tell them we won't kill them. classic Fay bargains now. And they say, who's on the movie? Yeah. And then we deliver them lock, stock, and barrel over the bloody toes.

And, you know, she takes it from there. And then we get all the juicy information that we want. We don't even need the mirrors to work yet. You know, you think the king guy can't just snap us out of here? So, I do have a quick question, though. It's kind of an important one. Yep. If you get the mirrors to work, are you going to go back home?

No, we got a new job to do. But the important means the one that goes upstairs. Um, um, if you get the mirrors to work, are you going to eventually go back home? Uh, that depends if we can pay off all massive debt. Yeah, if we do have terrible debt. Um, um, if you get the mirrors to work and you can pay off your massive debt, or you can eventually go back to, come. Well, yeah, that's Yeah, that's kind of the one. We're trying to get back.

What are you doing? Twig, we'd be able to come back through the mirrors as we pleased. We wouldn't be gone forever. I mean, yeah, we don't know. I was happening. Why are you making that noise? Why is you need to start breathing? What are you doing with your lips?

Is Swig obviously crying? She's like trying very hard to hold it in. But like, I'm picturing those huge tear gloss. coming out and spirited away. Yes, exactly like that, but she's trying not to cry. Yeah, the tear gloves. I palm twigs hat and lift her up.

What are you crying for, Twig? What's the issue? I'm not going to miss you, little bitch. Oh, my God! I'm not a little bitch. You leave me if you leave me! Well, why don't you just come with us? Because I can't. I've got to run an end here.

Well, I mean, your end's just like your pipe. Pocketbook, why don't you just bring with it? I mean, we haven't run a single successful business, and the whole time we've been friends in at least eight years. I mean, certain times they've been successful. Yeah, not a simple successful, by definition. Doesn't that imply longevity or perhaps planning a proper exit strategy? Thanks for asking away from a bunch of connoisse.

We're in horrible debt. Sometimes you make your money and you run and you let that business fail and you move on to the next one, all right? I'm just saying it wasn't all failure, all right? We had some good times. We bring Twigs he went with us. She runs the end at the end of the road, and we just do cool things.

I would not mind running a fantastical inn. That sounds quite wholesome and charming, actually. Well, do you think you could run a new carnival, and your could, my inn could be the end of the carnival for all the people that want to stay there overnight for like a long weekend or something? Ooh, on-property lodging, hospitality. That's not bad.

You can charge exorbitant rates. It could be twigs, and at the end of the road. Captive audience. Oh. I think of the margins we'd have on the displacer beasts. We'll workshop the name. I'm going to be at least 98%. I was thinking,

a dragon's campaign. It's got to be punny. Like, be in and out, or they stumble in. What's the dungeon you're driving? I don't think everyone shares that philosophy. Yeah, you get that in your head. No, no, it's a rule as old as time. What time are you talking about?

I feel like you pull... Ninety-nine. You're full of shit. No, no, ever since the year 19794. Stop looking at the camera. The biggest question, though, is Gideon,

are there lickable toads where he come from? Oh, there's so many lickable toads. A whole new swamp of toads. It's where we come from. Toads you never even tasted. Toads are gonna taste gross. Toes are never even tasted.

Not even one time. I'm pretty, like, we're 50% confident. Yeah, and Toad's that are bullywugs, we have those back home too. We met a bullywog and we successfully escaped his trailing. He thought he could trail us and we lost him in the swamp. We left them all right.

I like that idea. So are we gonna kill these fuckers or what? Okay. I know. I feel like it is not our place to kill these little fuckers. It is Miss Eto's choice. Oh, that was kind of the plan. You were supposed to be taken to bloody toes. I don't want to stab Miss Bloody Toes in the back. We made a promise.

Then don't put your dagger away. We said we try if we could. All right. And we need that minute to go get my hat. then the solution I proposed is probably the most likely one for success I agree both friends trustee you're very wise and small we'll make a deal Sam look at the info we need

do you think they know where your hat is even if they don't we at least have a way to get upstairs have you seen any staircase upwards oh that's a good point I don't know but there's also a room across the way we didn't look in there could be stairs there we should check out the room across the way As long as it's not the one that are buffaloes.

There's also a room right here behind us, too. There's also a room right here behind us. And then the one that goes back to the kitchen by us before I've been there. All right. Torbeck, just shut the fuck up, sit in the corner and face the wall. I'm doing that. He's so loud today. We're going to go check out a few rooms.

We're going to do that first? No, we'll leave them in suspense of their mortality. It'll soften them off a bit. Yes, yes. Do you want me to lead the way? Do you want me to lead the way? No, let's let Gros go do it. Ah, yes. I'm very good

in leading the way. We can cross-draps. You know. You stay with Fungle-Toolbeck. I can't remember if I left you in the kitchen or not. Are we going to go to the room behind us first, or the one across the hallway by the mirror? Behind us is closer. Why not just pick based on distance?

Can't beat that, I guess. I mean, that's very small. I mean, it's logical. What a fucking nerd. I'm right behind you in case something bad happens. Nothing bad could happen here. I'm in full control of the situation. You make your way towards the back of the dining room.

This door seems similar to the door that you saw leading towards the kitchen. It's not as ornate. It doesn't have the framing around it, the ornate framing that the dining room did, that the room across the hallway did. And you are able to open the door and you are immediately met with the sounds of loud clanging as steam puffs into your face.

A contraption made of entangled copper tubes connects to a potbellied boiler and a dozen cylindrical containers, which in turn spout even more tubes that feed into buckets. Barrels are clustered in the southeast corner and a work table in one corner of the room has bits of copper and metalworking pools strewn across it. Light filters in through the green diamond-shaped panes of glass set into the window. All around you, you see pots and barrels and other things, and the shelves that line the walls here are, you see large glass containers that are filled with assortments of mush.

It is easy to see as you look around the room, this is some sort of distillery. The scent that hangs in the air has this alcoholic taste to it. That as you lick the air, you can almost taste it. It is here that Bavlona makes some sort of mushroom alcohol. She's making some homemade charm. so she can avoid the taxes on it. You know, they say back where I'm come from, if you pay taxes on it, it's not shine.

You know? Is that true? Yeah, it doesn't count. Mushroom shine. Interesting. I think, I mean, I've never distilled nothing to myself. I knew a fellow. I think you'd try something similar,

but I think like five people died. I mean, that he sold it to? It was bad. It was like a whole thing, was on the local news. I want a people to be sold it to. It's like five You think it's some kind of It was a whole fan

Well, I was gonna say Shit, that was funny Yeah, that was pretty funny You think it's some kind of like witch's brew Some sort of like transmogrification motion or something Oh It smells like Alkimo Do you want me try it?

Yeah, Tweezy Give it a sip I mean let us know if it's a You know if we should test it She, you watch his twig, makes her way over to the contraption. You see that there's a, that there's a large handle near what looks like a spout of some kind. And she's trying to, trying to move it. It is slowly dripping.

You can see that this is clearly where the alcohol comes from. She's struggling a little bit with it. And almost in an instant you watch as she jumps up, puts her feet on the body of this thing, kicks against it as she pulls. and with a loud, wrenching metal-on-metal sound, the handle moves forward and a rush of alcohol pours from this thing. At the same time, however...

The music from Rusty Bucket Bay starts... At the same time, as she pulls back, the handle on this thing doesn't stop, and it is wrenched from it and flown across the room. The handle portion of it embeds in part of the distillery or part of the contraption. And you immediately hear clanging sounds as the machine starts to malfunction.

And she takes... Oh, my God. 13 points of fire damage as a small explosion goes off behind her and she's blasted against the ball. Oh, yeah! She's covered in sun, as she spins around and sits up. She wipes the ash from her glasses, blinks a couple of times, looks around, smoke is filling the air, but the contraction, this distillery is still functioning properly. What?

Was it word? I haven't drank any yet. Oh. Is it pouring out? It's like just sloshing all over the floor at this point. The bucket that it was pouring into is completely full. and it's now just rushing between. I'll push that bucket aside and attempt to bring the other bucket underneath.

Yeah, there are tons of buckets. What is pouring out and over the bucket is clearly leaking through the mismatch floorboards. And what you imagine is just dripping from the ceiling down into the bottle. I'd like to go to the lever that's embedded in the wall, see if I can wrench it free and like reattach it to the... Roll a... What would it be a sleight of hand? What would you do for his innate engineering abilities? What kind of role would you have to make to see if he could?

Mike, as a former dungeon master? What do you think? I would probably have, I would probably make it like an intelligence check plus proficiency. I don't slide a hand. We'll do slide a hand. Let me add your proficiency for your engineering ability. Yes.

say oh what is it how do I do that does that oh two too yeah yeah because we're still up oh tollback distilling oh no there's no alcohol in here um it's purifying artisanal spring water oh yeah boring stuff is electrolytes and mineraloginette oh no don't come in here don't come in here it's not so bad if we drown a mushroom alcohol right oh it's fit's 15. 15, you are easily able to look at it. You see roughly what needs to be done. You are able to use your fire genocci magics

and utilize your innate ability with flame to reattach this piece. You have to essentially weld it back on. But you were able to do that and quickly positioned in a way that it's easy to turn off and on. At this point, twig has crawled on all floors over to the bucket that Frost had moved aside. And she's sitting on the floor, covered

and said her hair is completely frizzed out and covered in ash. Her glasses are still mostly covered in ash, but except for the wipes where she wiped them clean. And she begins to just chug down. Tiny-s-sit, tiny-set. No. Oh, whoa.

So it's over the rest of us. Very quickly, you see as she throws down the bucket, and it is completely empty. That was delicious. But I hope that's not green alcohol. How do you feel? How do you feel, Drake? I feel like I just got exploded and then drank some wine. Is it wine levels of alcohol? I don't know.

Did it taste good? Yeah. Damn. That's the worst kind. Nope. Okay. you're gonna find out. I liked it though.

It was kind of a little earthy, but there was a hint of cinnamon in it. And it was also a little spicy, like maybe some crying here. Oh, she was fine. Is it kind of like a mead, like a mushroom meat? Yeah, kind of.

There might have even been out. I wonder if that's what the wasps were for. Oh. I think there was some kind of honey or something. I didn't know that. Oh, no, I'm thinking maybe there's bees about. A was some kind of. Faye hunting, you don't know.

I'm not. I'm saying, that's what I was assuming. It's like that. Hell now. Now you put it like that, and she seems fine. Why don't we give it a little try?

How long did it take those five goblins to die from the shine? It took the last one lingered for a good three months. Oh, shit. It was a good way to tell. Yeah, there was a nightly, Handel vigil.

So like an extended, like organ failure? It was like a lots of prayers every night. He just hadn't figured out yet and he was still drinking it. Yeah, that was little Goblin Timmy. Oh. That was Little Goblin Timmy. He didn't ignore, he ignored the PSAs about not underage drinking, I guess. Yeah, it was rough.

Boucher was very different. I mean, it was instilled by, you know, Dennis. Oh, God, he sucked. Look, I've had a lot of bathtub hooching my day. I mean, I don't mind if you, if you feel it all right, I'll try. If there wasn't made in the bathtub. Well, hell. Oh, man.

I'm feeling a little murdery right now, you know, lads. Cheers. Cheers, you know. And it is, as she described. There is a sweetness to it. There is an earthiness to it. and there is a bit of spice, a bit of kick. Though Bablornah may be a horrible, disgusting toad hag,

her ability to make this mushroom alcohol is impressive. Perhaps we'll last for the recipe. If she ends up being good, we're... We could sell this. I would like to have you roll for a perception. Oh. Who? You.

Oh. Bro. She makes a main bathtub. I was going to say. That's really shocking. Looking around, you just, as you say, we could sell this, you look around and you scan the shelves and you see all of these jars containing the different fungi

that are very clearly used to make this. And they all have strange names. But one thing that you notice is at the bottom of each of them, there is a label that says procured from thither. Oh, from fithor. So it immediately becomes clear to you that none of these mushrooms are native to hither. Oh, mushrooms underground. Did Mikey say this out of character?

Oh, Ricko. We got our plug, fellas. I rip off one of the labels. I feel like that might be where your hat is. I think it's a fucking dither. Not upstairs? Oh, I guess you said it's shit. I already came clean.

I can't remember if he was out of character or not. But if the is like underground themed and there are

mushrooms there that's where a dark mansion would be. Oh, well. I was worried about it being underground and tunnel feet. And this

helps point to that. Your hat might be long gone. Oh no, that's really. scary of them. And Twig immediately spins around in faceplants onto the floorboards, completely blacked out.

Well, she's gone. Turn her onto her side, Gideon. All right. Come here, Twit. I don't know how to prepare this problem. She seems... Why don't we leave her with Tollbeck? Can you pick her up, please?

I need to go on her own Constitution. Oh. I had a sip. I had, I had a mouthful. I had a mouthful slur. I had a hearty. I'm not gonna do it either. It's funny. Sometimes you gotta let the dice roll.

The dice are roll. Boop-be-bo-bo-bo-be-bo-be. I get a six. Okay. 24. I get a- 23, 23. I get a 15.

Four. Gideon, Grico, you hold your alcohol. You can feel that now that this has been in your system for a bit, this is a lot stronger than you expect. The kit that it has is significant. But you are able to hold your ground. Frost and crummy, however, though you don't fall unconscious like Twig did, you begin to look around you and the jars of mushrooms begin to morph a little as they start to look like they're melting in front of your eyes. The wall itself begins to undulate and move back and forth, where there was just one grigo there is now too. Oh, what the fuck? You watch as he merges back together and then he separates again and one of them is smiling at you ominously while the other one looks completely empty inside. This is ridiculous. You look towards Gideon and you see the flames and the ember is burning in his beard and his hair.

But now that you look at him, it almost looks as if they're tiny little flame people dancing in the fires. And you find yourself staring at him as the flames flicker and move and get larger and smaller. And you feel almost like a moth drawn to the flame as you look at him and you can't look away, is you look around this room and you're undergoing severe hallucination. Does White Rabbit by Jefferson Air? Please start playing. He does. Oh, fuck.

Oh, I should have known she fucked with psychedelics. Citar music is just all out of three of those things. Do you know what's seeing that? Perhaps it will fade. At least we're lucid enough to know that we're hallucinating. All from one sip. You got a strong sit. Oh, yeah.

Yes. No, we can sell this. There are two gricos. What? I know it's the worst. Why? There's two of you. Shut the fuck up. What are you? Oh, man.

Dancing in your beer. Oh, no. Wait, really is there? Oh, no. There's two of you. That's what Little Goblin Timmy said. That's not good. Oh, no. Perhaps I'll just sit down and this will fade.

No, hold on. Hold on. We've to write down every fucking ingredient in this thing. Yes, we need to package it, get the rest of it. as it be so we can make it again. We need a name for it. As you're sitting there. Spending the last five to ten minutes, try to think of a punny name for something that's mushroom and alcohol.

Shasaki! As you're sitting there, you feel like you're sitting perfectly still. That's not very good. You're staring at a point on the wall. Sit down. You're staring at a point on the wall. Trying to keep your focus,

trying to blot out all the other hallucinations. But you feel like your body is a long. getting thinner and thinner and longer and longer. But just the top half of your body is stretching towards the ceiling and then leaning forward and the floor is coming closer and closer and closer to you. But you're not moving. Nothing about you is moving. Why is your body doing this?

You reach out to push at the wall or to push at the floor to keep you from falling face forward. But there is no floor there. And you stumble forward out of the chair for a second. But you feel like you're in slow motion as you're tumbling towards the floor. And you watch Frost does whatever this is. All right, Frost. Write this name down. And I try to grab the jar of mushrooms and pass it to them to write it down.

You grab the jar, but you feel where you imagine this firm glass would be. There is no firm glass. It turns to liquid in your hands as it begins to ooze through your fingers. The mushrooms begin to float up into the air and turn into spores. As they pop and burst and float all about the jar, what should be shards of glass if it were brought. are not. It is liquid as it pours through your fingers and hits the floor with plop, plop, plop. And you just watch as you reach for another jar. And once again it turns to glass.

What you see, however, is Kremi grabbing a jar dropping it as it shatters. It just shoots everywhere. He picks up another one. Whoa, drops it. No, no, buddy, you ruin it, man. You're breaking them all. No, come on. Come on. Plan them piece for three ounces. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Go ahead of these mushrooms down. No, no, no, no. To get them off the twig. Ross, he got on. Oh, no, God. Oh, no, God. Oh, no, I can't, I can't, I can't hold all these mushrooms. Oh, oh.

In the white room. No, no, no. Oh, no. Crum, no. We're losing money, man. Grab him, grab him, grab him, grab him. Cremmy, please. Stop.

We're losing money. You tackle him. What's the first one now? I'll tackle him. You tackle him and you're in a layer of glass. Oh, no! Maybe four or five jars that have shattered on the floor. You tackle him down, and I will say roll a constitution saving throw at advantage.

I said, grab him, don't tackle him. You said, tagging. I misspoke. I misspoke. 15. 15. Yeah, I will say for the sake of this, that will be good enough because you're in the glass. You feel the glass poke into you, and it is staggering as the pain immediately brings you back to your senses, though you do still see the walls themselves look different.

It almost looks as if they have a texture on them that they didn't have before. The colors are far more vibrant, and they switch and change. occasionally you imagine you see a mushroom run across one of the shelves and hide behind a jar but you but you no longer feel like the glass is melting around

you, you have some semblance of your consciousness back. What the fuck happened? You did all this, you were saddening all the mushrooms I was passing them to frost I thought no, you were just picking them up and slamming them into the ground and shouting platinum pieces. Three platinum pieces for a little taste of the good stuff.

Oh, God. Are the labels intact? What are you holding? I just have a pen in my hand out. And you look, and you see that he's looking at this thing that he imagines to be a pen. But as you look at it, you see that it is clearly a long spindly leg of some kind of insect. Oh my God, we need to find it. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm all cut up too. Frusty, it's not going to it. And you'll take three points of piercing damage. Oh, it's in my jellyworm wounds. I try to tag you out of the glass, but there's just glass all over the place in.

It's how you were fucking chattering all the muckstroms. Well, I guess it snapped me out of it. Let me take these three points of damage. This might be relevant later on. relevant later on. I will endeavor to repair the bottles, and hopefully the labels will at least give us some indication as to what will be...

Does it work like that? I don't know. Oh, Christmas. What? What? You'll be here till fucking Christmas. What's Christmas? Um, you'm tired. I don't know. The equivalent of Christmas. Oh, the equivalent of Christmas. My favorite holiday.

It's a holiday celebrating old Chris's across the land. I grew up a god named Chris. he played Kita in one of my bands and he wanted to shut up about how Christmas is about me, you've got to give me no things every day is all about me. It's actually Christmas month. As Grico is talking to you,

Frost, his voice pitches three times high. It's all right. Higher. Oh, it's all about me. I got a fucking chart. And then it begins to dip down and pitch three times lower. It slows down. And you watch his green

body begins to bubble, almost as if it's boiling. Borghum, bro. Uh, I'm going to assume that this is just the alcohol, but Grico, you sound like a people, very. No, no, no, no, no. We don't want to sell this. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, people are not, I don't want to do this more than one. Yes, we can, this is a premium product. We could sell this for a fucking lot. You know, if you would pay for this experience for else?

Not me. I was free and I want a refund. Wait, what's wrong? Tripping balls over here. It sounds like a Beaselberry. What? At Constitution, saving throws straight. Straight?

Yeah. That's a D-12. That doesn't work. That's not going to help you. That's not going to help me. I'm going to get one, eight. An eight? Eight.

Okay. Yeah, you continue to, to, experience these strange hallucinations. Can we just go and kudos fuckers? I'm tired of being here. Why are we even checking out this room? That's a good question. Is there anything else?

And then the whole thing exploded. Hold on, let me find them, see if there's a recipe somewhere around here. Fraust, try to write down the labels of everything. I want to make sure we didn't miss anything. I'll roll a dexterity check for me and just tell me what the number is. I will produce a parchment and this time a quill, and I will go up to the first of the bottle, the containers. I'll say you go up to the table area and there are papers all about. And so you're inspecting the bottles, the jars, the papers on the table, anything that wasn't hit by the small radius blast that Twig produced.

And you will attempt to take these notes. One freckle guild geim. One common stump, Satherella. A painios. Paineos? Never mind. Hoosies in the next room I can't have a year. Spindleshank, Calibia.

Oh, ho. No. None of these words are correct. I'm making up gibberish. I know. Good work, Frost. I would also like you to draw a diagram of the distillery and instructions on how to put it all together, as well as any pertinent information you think is necessary for them to have in your intoxicated and hallucinogenic state. So I'm going to look for a recipe. Grico is just going to look around and investigate to make sure those. roll on investigation check at advantage.

Oh. Reg. I'm helping me. Reg. Yeah. There we go. Finally, some good fucking rolls. Skills. He's 20. You look around, you do not see any recipe.

A lot of the information here is you don't see any scientific names. You don't see names of the mushrooms. What you see on these labels is actually directions on where they were found, what type of tree they were found on, or what types of soil they seem to grow in, whether they're found at night or during the day. Some of them even seem to have seasonal attributes to them where they can only be found in

spring or only found when the moon is full and things of that nature. And I will say what you do find is a small piece of parchment that is quickly scribbled. And you see notes like jar number one procured beneath the full moon. Stupid sister was nearby never caught me. And as you look through all of these, it looks like every single one of these jars of mushroom. was stolen by Scabatha from her sister's domain and from beneath her sister's nose. And she took great pride in the fact

that she had outsmarted and thwarted her sister. And they're all from dither? Mm-hmm. What the fuck is all this animal crossing shit? It's got to rain in from November 23rd to October 15th. I'm kind of over all this. For all so you can stop. I've just finished. This is a very complex illustration. Oh, it's not trust. Oh, well, we don't need any of all.

We have to hang out and bivet for a whole fucking year to get all these mushrooms. I guess we could just steal all this. Well, yeah, but then we'll run out of supply and won't be able to re-up. We don't even know what we're going to get back. If Mr. Guru's not going to suck us to hell, suck us straight through our hearts. Our eyes suck. Fifteen. All right.

As you put your quill down, you, you, begin to feel yourself focus and you see that you haven't been writing on parchment and with a quill. You have been holding on to what is a very clearly a taxidermy chicken fund that you had put into some sort of squid ink and have been drawing with one of the toes of the chicken feet. The parchment itself is very clearly some sort of, and as you look at it closer, you're smart enough to see this, some sort of dried and cold piece of human skin. My cookbook,

page one is complete of the Necronom-nom-nom-nom. I'm just going to put this aside. Well, should we scoop Twigsie up and get the head out of this room? Leave it with Tollbeck and Hootsey, and let's go on and then shring. All right. No drinking thing. I can't believe that, me. Do you know the body mass that I have compared to you all?

And I was, I mean, it's obviously to Gideon. He's a big, he's a big, booby-fellow. He's going to be able to hold his liquor. But you guys, come on. I mean, you being a goblin gives you like a 30-time advantage, doesn't it? Oh, that's pretty true. Don't you mean, like, dumpster gobies and rats and shit? I have.

I mean, I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. You have all the street. The garbage disposal, it's a bit of,

I'm not a toolback level, okay. I'm not a toolback, I'm reading Gondonoy. You did just, uh. I'm like a good rat here in definitely, but who doesn't like a nicely prepared ranch now? Yeah. We were passing. Let's continue.

I'm still proud of Shisaka. I scoop up Twigs in, we leave. She is easy to pick up, and you are able to, you're able to scoop her up. She is, her dress is now covered in this alcohol. But she, bits of glass are embedded in her hair from when Kremi was dropping all of the jars. But she is sleeping soundly.

She's breathing. Occasionally she mutters in her sleep and she puts her fists up like she's fighting something. But she quickly begins to snore yet again. And you are able to bring her back into the dining room and quickly take her over to Torbeck. and he puts her in the crook of his arm and continues to do whatever Torbeck is doing. Weep silently.

Weep silently into the distance. No, he is not. Nobody holds crazy. So on a document was. Well, should we try one of these other rooms or return the to the Lord length? There's only one other place to check. Just right across the hole. What if we go to that room and some development prevents us from completing this small quest

that's but 30 steps away down the hallway to this kitchen? They just kill the fuckers, that's what I'm saying. Let's just kill the fuckers and get out of it. I'm just saying that there's an order of operations, and my proposal is that we make the promise to the Lord andlings. Finish what we need to, what we promise with bloody together. What's your own fucking synonykins in there, to kill these little fuck. I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a little worked up. I hate these little guys.

I know, I know. It's all right. Uncle, I'll say that we go investigate the other room. Leave Twig with Torbet and Hootsey. Hootie, nothing we had happened in there. We were all just fixing the machine. Shall we continue? This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon.

Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crooked Moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you.

We'll go to the room. Wait, quietly, look. Let's sneak. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Roll stealth check. This is one of those physical comedy moments, but like Torbeck would just be turned watching us like continue on our way to explore

and then like a nearby candle would just ignite tweak very quietly starting as a small fire. Yes. What are we? Stealth? We're stealing? We're stealing. I will steal. Acceptably. 24.

Mm. 17. Uh, 21. Oh, I got a 16. Hey, you make your way back out into the hallway. Um, and at this point, you're at the opposite end of the hallway. You're no longer distracted by the noise that's coming from the room where clearly Bablornah is having tea with the, uh, with her guest. And you sneak into the hallway.

You feel yourselves melt into the shadows. And so for a moment, you feel like you can actually look at this space. The walls of this dank hallway are covered with scores of portraits depicting grumpy, sad, frightened, and angry people. The figures include humans, elves, halflings, ballywugs, and goblins, among others. The portraits are rendered in a variety of mediums, including paintings, etchings, and sketches. All are displayed in gaudy, gilded frames. Your attention is turned once more towards the framed oval mirror, stands two feet wide and five feet tall, that hangs in the very middle of the wall.

You notice that it faces the portraits and reflects back those images of sad, of sadness, fear, grumpiness, and anger. But aside from that, there's nothing else in this hallway. There are no chairs, there are no tables, there are no wall sconsets, but directly in front of you is a door. And you, you know, take the hallway itself and you make your way towards that door. This door is similar to the one at the opposite end, has the gilded framework around it, and is much larger. It clearly leads to a room of importance. And as you open it, you see what this room. is. It is clearly a guest room

of sorts. It's a dusty uncuttered room. Several shadow boxes hang on the wall to either side of a modest bed with moldering linens. Most of the shadow boxes contain mummified pixies pinned to board like a collection of butterflies.

One of the boxes catches your attention. For one of the boxes, the glass is clearly missing and has been broken into. The contents are missing. I assume these pixies appear dead. They're all screaming.

No, they are all very clearly. Oh! Is the one shadow box that's broken into? Is it like the same general size and layout as them? Can we please? God, fellas, lads, mates. Yeah. Can we please stop to him and say, oh, let's go through

and not kill those little fuckers or let's not kill Buflona. Like, this is, this is, you know, I was expecting some creepy, spooky, spooky witch stuff, but this is... This is some fucked up shit. This is horrible. This is horrible. Look, it looks just like Busty there.

Oh, it looks like all of your wives, Gideon. Oh, it looks like, just like... Oh, thank, my goodness, Toobax are here. That looks just like Rihada Flog. Maybe they died of natural causes. What do you think? Ain't she paying them to the fucking boxes?

I'm gonna look at the inside of the glass and see if I see any handprints as if they would have been struggling. Oh, no. No. No. Well, I think mummified might imply like brains removed, you know, good through. Investigation. This feels like this dice.

Ooh. That's gonna be... That's a six. Can I can get a little... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's use the . I want to know. Let's use this one.

Okay. 17. You inspect the glass and it is covered in a thick layer of dust and grind. Many, many years of abandoned really, where no one has come into this room, no one has attempted to clean it. These have been left here on grim display for who knows how long. knows how long. But you check to see if there is any sign of fingerprints or anything on the inside of the glass. You see nothing. It's very clear that these pixies were dead before they

were put in here. Although you do see that all of them are, all of them, their faces have been contorted into varying emotions of sadness, anger, frustration, desperation, hopelessness. Only negative emotions? Only negative. Well, they were dead when they were put in here. I have deduced. Do their faces match the portraits outside? That's an interesting question. I think back to the portraits. Do I feel like there's a correlation? You feel like there's a correlation. I think you may have guessed it.

I hate being good at riddles somehow. Which one's missing? Oh! I think back to the portraits. and looking at the faces, try to make a deduction. Full intelligence. I'm not very good at that. My mind beans will save me this time. Nice. Is that a 10 or is it a 16?

That's a 16. I mean, if I turn it upside down, it's a 91, so I get 96. 21. 21. It's a 16, yeah. You... Check the opposite side. It was five?

Yeah. You look at... You look at the boxes, and the one that you don't see is anger. Anger appears to be missing. Fuck, man, if you're looking at that, is the glass on the inside of the box or the outside. Are you suggesting that perhaps the pixie came back and freed itself? Literally too angry to die. Or if it was on the end.

inside, then it was probably stolen by one of the sisters. Somebody punched through it, shattered the glass, took the insides, or if it's on the outside, it broke out. Oh. Smartly said and logical too, but still we need a plan. No, I look and see if there's glass that, as if, is all the glass on the ground as if it's been shattered outwardly,

or is there some on the inside of the shadow box still? There's some on the inside of the shadow box. It looks like it was clearly broken. Broken from the outside. Broome from the outside. Yeah, the classic smash and grab. Yeah, who would do something like that? Well, you know, it's a dirty common fief.

No, I don't know. It's not that dirty. I'm kind of disappointed, actually. I would have liked another ally, an undead, revenant pixie with, perhaps one of these needles as its weapon would have been pretty bad ass. That's really cool. I wish that. I'm gonna pretend that's what happened. Let's pretend. Can we like do something about these?

about these like not leave them up in such a gruesome way well if we killed this fucking hag we can just burn the play everything's wet we just we still come back so we don't take them like to the oh I don't know not now okay didn't you but didn't we burned a little basilisk an hour ago yeah we could like burn them in a cold yeah let's burn burn them in the little cold let's get rid of them right I feel like leaving him here it's just awful just to Let's I think you can carry all of them

if you let us stack them into your arms Well before we do anything Let's get a barrel or something A bunch of dead mummified pixies Well the tilder where we would burn them all It's a bank filled with lunglings, right? It's kind of fucked up. We just pour all these dead things on top of them like the whole

fire and it's just some kind of magical dusts too I feel like I'm playing Gary's mind Mollah long long long lings and fixies galore Oh, Jesus. This is terrible. Okay. Well, hold on. Okay.

Hold on. What if we do this? And then we leave. We're upstairs, and then they're done with their tea party in there. And their gas goes to the gas room. Oh, my God, Babyloner. The pixies are gone. You're right.

I knew that one was missing, but now all five are missing. Oh, so we'll kill them first. Oh, no. Man, this place is covered in dust. It doesn't look like she's hosting anybody in here ever. Well, I mean, maybe that gross darkland is like fine with it. We don't know. Maybe she hasn't settled in for the night.

She may have just arrived to spy on Scafair. All I'm going to say is, I think it could be possible that it was like a caper, a classic caper story where the portrait that was angry that is missing is a secret compartment. What do we think? I mean, if you want to go touch it, I'm not going to stop here. I'll go, I'll be right back.

I'm going to contemplate why you would just take one and not all. I'm going to go. We don't take anything. No, no, no. The person who stole the anger... Oh, oh, oh, oh. Why would they... Because it was probably a key to the portrait. I call.

I want to go to the hallway and I'm going to find that. the anger one, see what race it is and what it's looking like, and try to see if it, if the one that's missing, I guess I want to know what the Vixie looked like, never mind. I will try to just find the angry one. If you make your way down the hallway, you tiptoe across the wooden blanks, they're swollen with the, there's swollen with the humidity of the swamp, but you are light on your toes being a goblin and you're able to do with a stealth check, make your way almost silently, halfway down the hall, until you find

yourself in front of the mirror. And for a second, you do glance at it. You see that your reflection staring back at you isn't one, isn't the reflection or the expression that you are staring into it. It is one of complete emotionlessness, as if not a single emotion lives in your body. you raise your eyebrows and you move your lips about

and you sneer and dry at this thing but the expression never changes though your limbs move in the way your limbs would move and you pull your lips apart the expression of emptiness

never leaves your face God what a buzz cute you are you're entertained by this for minutes, or for a minute, tops, before you turn back towards the wall and begin to inspect the painting. Look, this side step over here.

You go through all of them until you eventually find a very small sketch of a halfling, a halfling man, and he is steering out from this page with a look of pure anger, pure wrath. The frame that it's in is gilded just like the others.

I'll try to grab it. You do? I'm trying to pull it off. And you are able to. The nail pulls from the wall on the back of this painting is one wire, one thin piece of wire

that was used to hold it up on the wall. And as the nail rips free, it clatters to the ground, it doesn't make enough noise to alert anything. And you stare at a blank wooden wall. A line of dust can be seen around it where the portrait was so close to the wall, no dust got behind it. But there's nothing there. Wait. I look at the sketch. Does it look like anyone I've seen before?

Roll an intelligence check. That's what we do for remembering, yeah. Does that cow or history? No. Oh! I didn't mean to roll it. It was a 20. I give Grico... Oh! Oh! You can twist up. I'll just, we'll just, we'll just it. Another 20. Fated.

22. You look at the image here. At first there is no recollection. But as you look closer and closer, you realize that you have seen that face before. It feels like a few days prior. at the witch like Carnham. But the halfling that stares back at you looks older.

10, maybe even 15 years older. And incredibly angry. I knew it. Frost is going to be so impressed with me. Oh, it comes in and say, I want to do. Good job. Good job, nice day. And kidding.

It's going to be like, Ah, well, shut out of it. Nice job, little green. Grico, you are holding the sketch of this halfling. This halfling that you now realize, that you now recognize, hidden behind the anger on the face, the face that has aged 10 to 15 years since the last time you saw it. You can still see that hint of sadness you saw flash across his face when he ran away from the love of his life.

You hold it for a bit, realizing this. Not quite sure what it means. Before you turn, you silently make your way down the hallway and back towards the guest room where you enter and rejoin your friends. As you walk past the mirror, even though you are stretching your face and contorting it into different emotions,

the reflection that stares back at you is nothing more than one of emotional absence. It doesn't even give Grico a little wink like John Void at the end of the film Anaconda. The monster is sleep. It's like for Anaconda post. Every time we reference the legendary film Anaconda. That's my favorite motive.

It's more than you would think. Yeah, I know. Wow, that's strange. I go, I return to my companions. You do? Fellas. Yes, Gregel. I think I'll figure out how it happened.

Look who it is. Does this fellow look familiar? He's a pissed off. Oh, do I recognize the character? For the sake of brevity, yes. He's a halfling guy. He's a halfling guy. Oh, well, nice job, little green.

I was going to say that. Chuck's howdy, nice job. Chuck's outy. I don't know if you never said shot. Oh, really? No, he's at all time! No, no, no. I can permit the frog from Muppet, Treasure Island.

He's like fencing. Wow. It's just wow. But it's that little fella who very easily gave up on the love of his life from just a simple misunderstanding, but he's older and he's real angry here. Yes. So time passed kind of like it did for Torback.

For Torback. But his was five years, This fellow looks like at least a decade. And who she hasn't really changed at all that I'm aware of? Do you think that he's not trapped in there or if it's just like a drawing of him? No.

What I think happened? And I may be totally off Busset. Is... I thought you were saying some. No. Give me that Busset. We're going to move on. What?

What's but... They killed straight on it! My new device! What if this little fella had to, he broke in and stowed angry Pixie and he had needed to get out of here or something? Maybe it's a trophy room. The portrait room is trophies.

That's interesting. Hmm. It's all the people that was learned that broke the rules of the Witchelike Carnival. And who knows what kind of fucked up stuff did Mr. Witch and Mr. Lollah doing, they're a bunch of fucking frets. We must find out the mysteries of the mirror

from the Lornells. I'm convinced now. There are two reasons. I agree. One, I'm in connection. Number one's get my hat back. Let's get your fine hat back. And, oh, okay. Hey, hey, I'm there.

Your premium hat is a fine hat. It's a fine hat. Wait, it's a fine hat. I agree. Thank you. It's a very nice. Number one, to see if we can get your hat back. Number two, to understand perhaps the timie-whiminess of the mirrors, is it possible that if we try to travel through them, that we might lose days, weeks, years,

like this gentleman, if that's the case, then we'll break our promise to the king. And three, if you're right that perhaps pixiness helps with the process of traveling through the mirrors, then there may be a connection to be made with the thing we found with the missing wings at the beginning of the carnival. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

You somebody clipped them wings that used this mirror? It's possible. Well, here's the thing. This fella went through the mirror way before Guy's nine and towback, right? He did. Yes.

Frost was a little kid. So maybe that explains the five-year difference and maybe it's just Tommy Wyme Faye Wild stuff and just because of the flow of time, But it's slower here. Oh, it's slower where we're from. It's faster here.

Yeah, it's faster. We just saw Mr. Switch and Live walk away. Oh, yeah, it's slower. It means it's slower there. It's slower. It's faster. It's slow there. You understand?

For them, it's been like two seconds. That's what I mean. Apologies. I'm going to have to make a correction because I think I'd be smart enough and a little chat birdie has reminded me that it was a fairy, not a pixie, that had had its wings ripped off.

That's correct. I didn't want to correct you because I thought that Bucco would not have. Derek, Derek is very stupid. Well, actually, it was a fairy idiot. Yeah, no, you feel of them bad. It was a snark. Cufus, dufus. Coofus.

A snark, you've encountered a snark. Are there it like sea monkeys? I think there's sea monkeys, right? No, no. A snark is like a grublin. What's a grublin? Is a snark one of those multi-colon creatures with like straw at the top of the head? No. That's ridiculous. No, that's a snore. That's exactly what I'm talking about.

Do you think that the carpet matches the drapes when it comes to the... Never mind. Lipsy. Al-Bair! Lips in the owl, man. We need to make them to short. Jack that guy in the feeling response to what's a funny. Well, hold on. Before we do anything else, did you look at the painting in the mirror?

Yeah. Mr. Puzzle guy, you know, I forgot to do that. I'm sure nothing will happen. I'm both out of the room. I bolt out of them. Just to confirm that I was right. You put the painting, or you put the sketch in front of the mirror, and you see that it reflects exactly what you see. The image of the hapleng staring angrily. Yeah, no, I didn't do anything.

I thought that was ridiculous. There was no chance. Oh, okay. That's what I didn't do, because it was a stupid fault. No offense. I know you're not a puzzle guy. I'm not. I struggled at the unicorns.

Yeah, I understand. I understand. Yeah, yeah. That's what I talked about prone. That's right. Anyways, maybe that's why I'm so angry. Maybe it's emotion, she, because I hate those little fuckers. Usually I feel like I'm a little bit more good nature.

But all I want to do is see those little fuckers get splattered by that giant boot. At first I thought it wasn't in a weird way, and now I'm getting a little concerned. I'm going to take one of the shadow boxes with one of the unpleasant, let's say despair. I'll take that, and I'll do the same test that. Rico does in front of the mirror looking at it's what once was a creature instead of a painting's face to see if it is emotionless You put it in front of the mirror and you see the look of despair on the Pixie's face But as you glance into the mirror you see that the reflection is showing one of pure expressionlessness So it is affected even though it is dead

I'll look at the reflection and I will remember the face of despair and I will I'll endeavor to make the face of what I'm holding. You attempt to do that, and you see that the reflection, not even for an instant, does it register what you are doing with your face? It is just pure expressionlessness. No emotions at all. I get myself a little wink, and then I make my way back. Well, the distinction seems to be that the paintings aren't affected because they weren't alive.

at any point would be my deduction. Can you do that John Voiting? Oh, yes. Someone had to say. I pointed very hard. That was the Voidish.

Call of the Voight. Anyways. Feels good to give yourself a little wink just like that guy from the final scene. Yes, it does. Thank you. Also, my daughter is very attractive.

You a daughter this whole time? I'm saying any doubt. No, if I'm speaking as though I'm John Voight. Oh. Who's John Void? You know his daughters, right? Out of character. We could as know what the fuck's going on. But out of character you do.

Yes. Who is? What's her name? Angelia John. No. Angelina Jolie. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I was on the Tomb Raider.

She's got boobs. She's got boobs. She's got boobs. I mean, she's got boobs. She had a mastectomy. Oh, I don't know. She had boobs. Yeah.

I didn't know that. If you meant this, you meant this. I was seeing tomb righter. Okay. Yeah. I saw that twice in the same day when it came out. That was awful. The seats were never the same thing.

It was awful. I didn't enjoy it terribly much the first time. Section G7 never recovered. And then I saw my friend coming up and they were like, hey, you're here for our birthday party. we're watching Two-Water, and I was like, what? This is a talk out. Yes, it did.

I had to watch that fucking movie twice in a row. Back to bed. I also saw Two-Miland-a-worthy party. There's no unique experience. The only way to solve this problem, puzzle, is to talk to the Lorne Lanes. We're not going to be able to logic our way into this mirror. Are we in alignment?

Yeah. Fine. well, tell them one thing and then we'll cook them. Okay. We don't know. This is probably Babylon herself, is all I'm going to say. Let's try to get all the information we can before we kill a single one. Oh, we can ask about the little, the emotions from the law.

Yeah. We'll let them live if they tell us what we need to. I'm convinced. All right. Okay, let's go. Let's go back. Are we giving them back to Bloody Toeaf? No, no, we're just going to keep them in the culture.

We'll leave the lid on. They can't get out. We'll just leave them there. We'll figure out what to do. I want to just tell her where they are. We have got to remember to come back and let them out. Yeah, of course we're going to do. It would be better to just kill them. I can figure it out. All right, let's go talk to it.

You make your way back into the dying. And the site that you are met with is one of abject horror. The lid of the pot has been removed, and at least half of one of the Lin's bodies is shoved down Torbeck's bloody ma. Is he feast? I'm just kidding. Oh, my God. Torbett got hungry.

Torbett was just having a snag. Who else but Torbeck? Play that fucking song. It's Torbeck. Everybody is Torbett. Everybody hates Torbett. Torbeck's just the worst. just the worst.

No, you, you walk back into the room and Torbeck is sitting on the pot. What? Torbeck thought this was a toilet. Close the door. You stupid. We don't matter. We don't know.

This was a really nice chamber pop. We kill Torbeck with a crossbow. In a good night when I gave him. Oh, it turns out that Torbeck never did shit gone. Oh, it's shitter all over again. So we seem sitting on the pot. You seem sitting on the cooking. pot.

Uh-huh. Um, and you can still hear the bangings on the inside as these lornelings have not given up their fight for escape. Twig is wide awake, sitting on the floor looking up at Torbeck. And then, this will happen next was I follow the frog and we jumped this way. And so we jumped that way. Hello, twig. Twig?

I had a pounding headache when I woke up and licked the walls a little bit. They were moving, but now okay. How are you feeling? I do. feeling like I have reconsidered. I'm glad you're feeling well. Yeah, I was just telling a tour back about the time I chased a frog

once. I love chasing frogs. It's a very fun pastime. I know it got away, though. It happens. That's what they call it frog in and not catching. I'll be looking for that frog in a instance. That wasn't a funny joke.

I'll never been myself. Torbeck, get up. Tormack gets out. Why? They interrogate those little fucks. Dorebeck just got comfortable. All right. Don't let me ask you again, all right?

Fine, fine. We can do it for a Torbeck snack? Yeah. Just like a Cheeto? It's a dirty can of beans. Somehow it's wafted. like a thing and then turned to do a finger. And he gets lifted up in the air.

Did you know that Torbeck is actually allergic to Cheetos? Or cheese, it's actually. And he knows this because every time he eats a full box, he can't ship for a weeper. Torbeck should also not eat all of his marshmallow. I don't know what I'm saying anyway. Torbeck does get up and you're able to go over and remove the lid. The Lornelings are inside.

scratching at the inside of the cooking pot, you can see scratch marks all over the inside of this thing. They're ruining the seasoning. Yes. All right. We'll let you live if you give us all the secrets about the mirror. And we're adding on anything else you can tell us about Bavowna. So that's the deal then.

You'll let us live if we give you the secrets about the mirrors. How to use it? What's the deal with the paint? in the hallway, how to get up and down, how to get back down here, get upstairs, get back down, and use the one downstairs, everything related to that as well. Any risks of traveling through the mirror that you can convey would also be welcome. Yeah. And then also the mushroom alcohol recipe.

Oh yes. We don't know that. Oh, well, we gotta kill them, I guess. No, no. Yeah, yeah. That's totally optional. No, it's fine. It's fine.

I can't look at them or else I'll get filled with rage again. Is it because our eyes are so bad? Our eyes are so big. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you look like. I'm fine now. I am better. Proceed.

Yes. We have to make a deal. All right. You need him riding. Okay, here's the fucking deal, you little fuckers. Oh, my. You tell us everything we want to know. We have bloody to smash your little fucking brains out.

That's the deal. That's the deal. Take it or leave it. No negotiations. You understand your little fugs? That's not how Faye pets work. Have you not to sign in blood? No, we have to both agree.

All right. Well, I agree. Do you agree? I agree. Oh, all right. That was easy. You soften them up a little bit. I mean, based on how much this smells like a Dutch oven, I think that people softened. That's horrible on this session. Oh, yeah. Proceed.

With what? Ask the question. Oh, all right. How do you use the mirrors? Which one? Well, the one up here to go upstairs. Smiling to it. Smiling to the one on this floor or the one upstairs? The one on this floor. Thank you. And where does that take us?

into a hallway that's secret from all others. Oh, hell right. Oh. That was very close to getting into that mirror. Damn. So once you smile, you just walk through it. It will open for those that smile. And then how do you back down?

Through the big door. So he's walked back down. You walk in through the little door, and you get out through the big door. Big one. All right. Little door to big door. How do we use the mirror downstairs?

You must see the password. Look, is the password? What was it? Spittle. Spittles, well, you know. All right, what's the password then? What is the password? Ross, you better be taking notes.

I have my brain. I'm thinking brain nerves. Oh, boy. Blubble Scrabble. Blunder Scrabble? No. Bubbles scrub? Bubble scrub?

Bandy candy. Bindy candy? Bander catcher. Bander catcher. Bantanage? Bender scratch. Bumble scratch. Bumble snatch.

Bumble snatch. Bumble snatch. Oh. story about that. That is a pretty good place. I don't know exactly, but it's something like that. You just failed to

satisfy you're a part of the bargain. Why? Because you were not telling us everything we wanted to, that we agreed that you would tell us about the mirrors. You told me that I had to tell you everything I knew about how to access the mirrors,

and I have done so. You get through it with the Password. The fact that I don't know the password's neither my problem, but it's now yours. Do you know where we could find the password? Is it written down anywhere? No, but Babylon knows it. How hell do you get around this place?

Sometimes we guess it right. Is it bubble scratch? No. Is it Bandy Candy? No. Is it blunder scratch? Okay, you've already done this bit. Is it bangle-tangle? I think it's a clue. No.

Okay, did a halfling break through here? Did he have a paffling escape? Maybe. Oh, fuck. Who was the last person to stay in the guest room? It was a long time ago. It was one of the sisters. The baby. Oh, one of them is a baby?

Do you happen to know a name? She wasn't a baby at the time. The youngest sister. The baby sister. Oh, is that the last one? I wish, oh, is that... That's your own, right? We don't talk about her.

Why, what does she do? It's her name Scabify. No. No, it's the... It's Endeline. Mundleynne. No, it's the other sister. What a fourth sister?

We don't talk about her. What the fuck? Nice. That's Lori. What does she do? You tell us everything you know. I don't know because we don't talk about her

If you know, you little If I knew I would tell you Don't let me call Tulbeck over here and feed him a bean burrito I'd like to see you try It wouldn't be that at all the time Finding a burrito What uh

What happened? What happened? What happened when the sister We don't talk about Stayed here What was your question? What happened when the fourth sister stayed here? Was there a fight?

Was there a poisoning? Was there a spell, a hex? No. All the sisters were here. But the baby sister stayed in the room because they all had their portraits done to hang in loom lurch. Loom lurch?

Mm-hmm. Is Lulch a place? Yes. Is it a room in this house? No. Is it a room in another house? Yes. Well,

house is a stretch from a certain point of you. From the same point of you. Hey, they're home with four sisters. For now. I think we know who the four sisters. Wait, for now. Who are the parents that it's questionable for now? How old is the parents?

How old is the parents? ancient That's a good fucking Older than old The Big Mother To her parents And what do they do Do a Big Mother

Is there a father in the situation? Who knows? You go out for milk or What's a cigarette? I always know what you're saying idiot Happens in the Faye Wild. Happens everywhere. Is the big mother here, too?

The big mother watches. Oh, fuck. She's the one that did all the shit to towback. Anyway, that's all beside the point. All right. Well, you know what? The mere down stands is less important. We just need to get up and back.

Did we learn where the mirror downstairs goes? It goes to... It goes to the witch-like carnival. So the Lordlings can take what needs to be stolen. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Are there any other mears besides these two? All of the sisters have mirrors.

Are there any mears to other realms where the sisters live? I don't know. Oh! What do you know about the king of hearts? Have he seen some guy who thinks he's a lot more attractive and special and smart than he actually is walk through here and say, hey, hello? No. Hey, how do you do? What would you do?

There's a naked zeta and a cage outside. Very naked. Still in there. Yep. Yep. He's still in there. Absolutely. He's hanging away.

He's definitely hanging. Very, yep, very well and down. What? He's hanging. Let me ask you this. What would you do if there were no Bavlornah? Then your fate were your own.

Would you start some sort of bathing company, perhaps? Lornelllings have never lived without Mommy Lorna. Don't say it like that. Well, if we were to imagine for a moment, do a bit of a roleplay about it in your mind. Who would we wash? Well, you could wash anyone who would pay you for... They look like they did a thorough job.

Oh, wow. Why does she keep pixies in glass cases? Mommy Lorna, the hobbyist. A creative. It is her art. Did she kill them? Yeah. Fucking bitch.

I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Sometimes she rips them apart and puts them with other things. I'm going to enjoy setting her on fire. Sometimes she does. I see a winter alive. All right, I think we've learned what we need to, fellows. What do you think?

Where is Kremi's hat? Oh, yes. I saw the hat go upstairs. What's upstairs? Or else? The frog has it? A frog? What kind of frog?

You're basically a horrible approximation of actually it's an insult to frogs to call you a frog. Never mind. What kind of frog? Lorning. Mm-hmm. Yes. A little fucker. Where are the other ones?

There's more of you, right, than you two? We're everywhere. So, like, not in the specific room? We hide in all the places we watch. We watch like the big mother watches. Ugh. Is there like a looming break room where you're most of the time? I don't know.

Like to be in the goblin head. You know, I know, but I mean, other than this room. We like to be under things and around things and in dark places. All right, we'll keep an eye out. Thank you. Please replace the lid. No, we had a deal. We're going to keep you alive.

It's for safekeeping. We're going to leave you right here, if you don't mind. That was a deal. Faye rules. What can we say? All hands are all right. Faye rules. Lornelings drool.

Yay! Got them. Got them. Yeah, little fucks. Secure the top with rope or something, then we can all just get the fuck out of here. All right, thank you, yeah. It looks very effective.

Yeah, that's real. That's nice. Okay. Is that a special kind of knot that you make? They just call me Kevin Tying knots where I'm from, so yeah, in fact, it is a special kind of knot. It's so cool that you see that, because where I'm from, which is basically just anywhere.

They call me Mrs. Walkdown Mammal Walkway. What? What? They call you what? Walk down mammals walkway? What?

Walk down me on the walkway? Yeah. Mrs. Walk down me on the walkway. Balloon hands. There's a baby behind me going crazy. Oh, it's the mushroom drops. Anyway, Toilback.

Come on, let's go. Get out of the corner. wanna stop fist pumping. Let's, let's prove. Doormack, not, if you couldn't see Torbett, if Dorbeck couldn't see you, you couldn't see Torbeck. No. I washed your hands, man.

Oh, how long have you been doing that? Doorback doesn't keep track. He walks over to one of those automatic dispensers. Ew. Oh, God. So it's the plan where are we going to go now? We're going to go get my hat while she's indisposed. We'll deal with the frog.

Come on, Torbeck, let's go. All right. Let's do that. Quietly. All right? You'll sneak. Oh, are we going to sneak? We're going to steal.

What are we stealing? No, I mean, it's a turn of phrase to me. Okay. Yeah, Torbeck's got the pot on his back. Thank you, Torbeck. make sure that it doesn't. I assume so. I guess we should. I was going to leave him there.

We might forget. Yeah, that's very... I don't want that on my hands. What if we meet him? Yeah, that's true. Meet who? Yeah. That's Torbath.

No, no, we're not going to leave Torback. I was going to leave the lonelings tied up in the cold room. Oh, I guess we could do that. Yeah, let's just leave him there. Yeah, yeah. Torbub, put him down. I'm worried that they're going to like... Bunk into the side and roll it,

and they're just gonna get into all kinds of crazy adventures. I wanna take them with us. Do you see the special knock that Gideon, they're not getting out of that. It looks unbreakable. No, now that you say that. It's like a bow tie knot. Those little fucks can't be trusted.

We gotta keep them with us. Tollbeck, hang on to those. All right. Torbeck, pick up the pot again. Oh, Torbeck's getting mixed messages. That is something. you'd say, Tomet. That's exactly what you'd say.

Plastic torment. Yeah. Vintage. Vintage. He never changes. Oh, God. Now that he would change, he would say, he'd say, five minutes. Anyway, let's go.

Put him here, we steal. Can we stealth? Yeah, we have to steal because we didn't just explode a distillery in the 40s. What was last? I'm just saying. Oh, God.

Holy shit. I'll have one dirty 20. Perfect. That's not a thing. What? 15. Perfect. You don't have to say dirty 20.

I like saying dirty 20. Yeah, but it doesn't mean anything. Yes, it does. It means something to be. It's not a natural 20. Yeah, but a natural 20 doesn't mean anything for a skill check. And even in combat, it's a 20 is different from a crit.

Well, actually. It's a stupid term. No, anytime you roll. I've been saying this for six years. How do you felt this way? I've corrected you many times. You forget every time. No, no, no, I don't.

We've got logs. Dirty 20 is fucking great. 24. That's the name of my mixed. Dirty 24? Yeah. I've got a, no, it's a natural 24.

I've got a dirty 21. It's a modified 24. You know what? It's a fucking modified 24, damn it. Well, everybody else passes. You fail because 24 was the failure number. Oh. Please have a failure number?

That is so the failure number. It's just like code names the assassin. The beginning of next section, roll a D20, and whatever it is, that's the failure number. I like that. Whoever fucking gets that natural or dirty, they explode. Perfect. You're dead.

No, it needs to be natural. It needs to be natural because everybody's a modified and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, needs to be dirty. That's fun. Dirty Natural. Dirty Natural.com.

Dirtinessle.com. I'm going to know. It's just one. I'm going to take it back in. We have the Draynum package. That's right. That's pretty good. Dirty natural.com.

No dare. Okay. We're stealthing. Use self. And it is a group stealth check. Not anymore. Do not.

Do not. All right on that. Torrick rolled a natural 20 on his stealth. That's amazing. It is a group check. You are able to, you are able to steal your way through the hallway. And you make your way,

where are you going? I'm assuming. We're going to the mirror and we're going to smile into it and attempt to walk through. I will say, because you made the deal with the Lornling and you were told exactly how this worked,

I won't make you RP this. you are able to step in front of the mirror, and you try a handful of expressions first, and you see nothing change. And begrudgingly, Grico, you smile into the mirror, not wanting to listen to these lornelings, believing them to be liars and cheats.

But as you smile, at first, your forced smile doesn't seem to work. But you eventually give in, thinking about hootzy, and that to get your daughter out of here, you need to play, by these rules. And it is her future that you're hoping for,

a future where you're not stuck in the Fay Wild, where she has the entirety of the prime material plane to have the life that you want for her. And it is this thought that brings a smile to your face, a true smile. And when this happens, it only takes one of you. You hear a soft click as the mirror swings forward. And a long hallway,

stretches out before you. It is dark. There are no sconces. And it's not, it's about 15 many long this hallway. But you do not see a door at the end of it like you were told there should be. It is just one long stretch of hallway. What the fuck? Can we just talk to the orleans through the pond? Well, hold on. Say magic. They didn't lie about this. So why don't we just proceed? Okay. That's where we need to go. Perhaps we won't be able to reach the end of the hallway until we've collected enough stars.

That's the stupidest mechanic I've ever heard of. I mean, a thing I've ever heard. Yeah. You want to go? Yeah. All right, let's go. Frost, you move forward, and everyone follows in line behind you. And you begin to move, and you take one step two,

and then you start to feel like the hallway is getting longer. Wait, it's also getting taller and wider. You continue to move. You make your way about halfway down the hallway, before you turn to look at your friends and you realize that you have shrunk about half your height. And as you realize this, you hear a loud click as the mirror swings closed and shuts behind you. You are shrouded in darkness, because there are no lights in this hallway.

feels huge and cavernous around you now, as you realize that you are significantly less huge than you had been when you walked into this hall room. Do I look like I've shrunk a little? Do we all shrank? Yes. Oh, it's proportional. We seem to be getting smaller in this hallway.

What's that, music? Do do, do, do, do, do. Oh, no. I speed run my way through the end of the end of the end. Yeah, yeah, we run. We continue. What the fuck is this? You're not lighting any lights?

I'll activate a flame in my palm. You illuminate your palm and you shed light on this space. Your shadows dance along the walls. As you press forward, you have seen a lot of strange things in the Faye Wild. This is just another one to add to the books. As you make your way, you run towards the end, just wanting to get to the end point.

And as you run, you notice that your steps are getting shorter and shorter. The hallways getting longer and longer. And you get smaller and smaller. You do eventually make your way to the end of the hallway. You are now about, let's say, one-twentieth of your size. You are a tiny, minusical thing about the size of a mouse and it is here

that you see the door the Lauren Lanes were talking about. A small mouse-sized door sits along the very edge of the wooden floor boards. That explains it. Am I smaller than the mouse? Is that what that means?

Oh, fuck. Well, how are we going to? This is a small door and that's the big door. Oh, man. Well, probably. Let's go to the small door. We have to worry about a lot of the smaller animals.

A lot of the smaller animals and pests in this house would have been no threat to us. But now, a cat could eat us up. I'm sure nothing like that will happen at all. I'm not. I'm skeptical. We need a plan. Plans will open this fucking door with Steve. What's on the other side?

Canzooks. That way for me. Come on. Go for it. You reach out and you open the door, it creaks on its hinges. The sound echoes throughout this long, cavernous hallway.

But you imagine to anyone in the room that you're about to enter, it would make barely any sound at all with how small this is. You step your way through and you see that there is a needle resting up against the door and two metal bars. It looks like at some points this door can be barred with the needle on its own,

but you caught it at a good day and the needle was not in place. You were able to make your way through. Your eyes adjust to the light here. This room is illuminated with hundreds of candles. The light's, the candlelight flickering across the walls. You're not able to see much. just the dark, dusty, wooden floorplanks, as you are enshrouded by what appears to be the underside of a large bookshelf. You immediately hear the loud, booming voices of two entities talking.

You imagine standing in this room in your normal forms, you would be able to hear them clearly, but at this size, their voices are almost cacophonous and almost painful. as you hear them speaking to each other. It almost sounds garbled. It's hard to distinguish words, but you do pick out, you do hear the names Scabatha and Ingelene. You do hear from the guest that's there talking about her sisters.

And you hear the constant clinking of someone stirring tea in the teacup and the spoon hitting the side of the glass. and it is painful to your tiny ears. You are able to move out from under the bookshelf just enough not to be seen, but enough to scan the room. And you see that this room, there are, in the very center where you see Bavlorn a Blightstraw is sitting with a darkling woman.

Seems to be older than the two that you met at the Thunder Cloud Bullitts, balloon, very clearly related, very clearly an elder sister. They look relaxed together as they are chit-chatting and drinking their tea. But I will say you are able to notice as you watch that the Darkling Elder occasionally flicks her eyes towards a stairwell that rises up from one corner of the room. Actually, the side of the, the side of the room where the large ornate door that would lead out to the hallway, from this study to the hallway is located.

In that corner, you see a large stairwell that goes up, and you notice that her eyes occasionally dart towards the stairwell, and then back to Babylon. Very quickly, if you weren't staring at her so intently, it would be easy to miss. Babylon doesn't seem to notice as she continues to Babylon about her begrudgingly about her sisters. You look around the room,

and you notice that there's another door on the opposite wall that leads somewhere else, another ornate doorframe surrounding it. The room itself here in the very center, these large, dusty, moth-eaten couches, varying colors, the dyes in them faded from age, and desks lining the walls, books, and papers, as well as more of those shadow boxes filled with different fay creatures that are pey. pinned into them. This time, not just pixies, but a wide array of them. As well as, including the bookshelf that you are under, you notice that these are more display cabinets, though they do contain some books. What you see in them are these horrific taxidermy-to-fay creatures, bits and pieces

of two, three, four, five even creatures that have been sewn together into these horrible abominations stuffed and placed on display here. In these disgusting scenes, you've noticed that the lornelings weren't lying when they said that she was a creative, because not only are these taxidermied creatures there, but she's created full scenes of them in battles or in loving embraces. She has created tiny dollhouses for these monstrosities, and she's placed them in there so that she could watch them living this strange, undead life. And that is what you see from your vantage point on the floor.

Because we're all proportionally small, do our voices just sound normal to each other? I would say yes. Do you just sound normal to each other? We've already covered that, so we are very small. We're small. Wow, this is crazy, isn't it? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Wow. Look at all those. She's got a table-top miniature game set up with horrible abomination. She has those two doing, right? Ugh. You know, it kind of reminds me of the Civil War Cat Museum. You ever heard of that?

What? Yes. That's a real thing. Tragically, yes. I didn't know exactly what you mean. I don't. I'll tell you to manage some Jews. Oh.

Somebody remind me. Should we blockade this door so we're not followed with the needle? Oh. We can't hurt, right? Social fox can't follow us, yeah. We've got the two in the, in the, Put all that really small. In case there's a third or fourth or fifth buck.

You're right, we should, we should. All right, let's do that. All right, let's put them back in place. You're a bigger stroke. You're easily able to pick up the needle, thread it through the metal bars, and blockade the door. You imagine that nothing and no one will be following

you through that door anytime soon. Let's just create past and go. Let's go ready of a door. The stairs. We gotta get the stairs. We got to get the stairs. We got to get the stairs. If there are stairs or a door, whatever it will have to go up.

If we can steal past this. There are certainly many ways that we could confront by Vylaurna, but as tiny as we are now, it's not what I... It's not optimal, is what I would say. No, no, we're going to

ignore all this. We're just going to sneak around on by, we're going to head upstairs. Yeah. Okay. I will leave your stealth checks from before. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah, for the sake of brevity. All right. And you are able to steal your way. You dart between piles of dishes covered in rotten, moldy, and decaying food,

bits of, bits of thrown-away fabric, and even the occasional animal part. And you dart in between all of these things, hiding and listening and waiting for your next opportunity when Babylona turns your head that you can run from objects to object until you make your way to stairs. These stairs are large wooden stairs. They are taller than you. It is going to be difficult to climb them at this size. Toss me. Right home. Wait a minute. I can just turn into a giant spider monster. I'm looking at my own abilities. I will have a spider with like a skull on my back and I'll go, kachachach,

Did any of you have a rope? I believe that I have 50 feet of hemp and rope here in my pack. Can't you also just fly, man? So can I. I'm a brownie. Oh, you're the fucking thing. Little bad. Well, I haven't really spent much time with it.

I worry that if I use it now, I'll have lost the ability to fly for perhaps the whole day. Fly the rope up to the top of the stairs. and then you guys can use it to climb up the stairs. We could just mountaineer these stairs, and Grico can do whatever spiderly thing he wants to do. For the podcast listeners, Grico is wringing his hands back and forth like a fly.

I start climbing up. Here's the end of the rope. Okay, you keep the other end. Do we need to tie it? Anything? Yeah, we want to do it upstairs. Well, you should like Gideon do it. Well, use the...

Let me teach you the hour real quick. Okay. All right, so let me put it in terms. You're going to understand, all right? One end is the bunny rabbit. Okay. And then... Oh, fuck.

How do you explain this? Well, here, so you got a stump, right? Yeah. Yeah, it runs like... So the bunny rabbit, right? And what's the bunny rabbit? Yeah. No, what is it?

All right? Recite it back to me. I gotta know that you're learning. The bunny rabbit is the bunny rabbit. No, fuck. I'm no good at teaching. All right, here we go. The bunny rabbit's the stump. No, the stump is its own thing.

Oh, shit. All right. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, all right? I'm just not good at teaching things. I get frustrated. Okay. Not at you. It's at myself because I can't relate the knowledge that I have in a way that it makes.

Okay, so there's a stump, right? And there's the bunny rabbit. The bunny rabbit is the end of the rope, okay? Bunny rabbit is the end of the rope and there's stump. It runs around the stump. Uh-huh. And then it hops over the robe, which is around the stump. It hops, right?

Uh-huh. And then you pull it through the stump. Okay. Yeah. Grigo's going up and down the stairs like several times by now. And then you pull it through the stump. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

You've tied the knot. Okay, good. I don't go do it then, okay? All right, perfect. I believe in you faithfully that you had the ability to tie. The secret or not. I'm going. And she zooms up

the stairs. Her little wings flapping. No louder than a fly. She's going to roll at disadvantage to see how well she does. Good job, Big Red. She

looks around and she sees no stop. You don't see this. But for those podcast listeners at home, Twig looks around and she sees no stop. But there is the banister to the stairwell. And that's made of wood. Stumps are made of wood.

That must be what Gideon was thinking. So she starts to hop like a bunny. And she hops like a bunny around the banister, hops over the rope, ducks under the rope, hops back over it. Did I need to do it more? She's not sure. So she does it three more times and then ties it really tightly.

And lucky for her, it seems that your lesson was a, a twig appropriate lesson. Wow. And she learned how to tie a knot that day. You tug on the rope and it feels sturdy as you all begin to mountaineer your way up the stairs. Grico is constantly walking back and forth along the stairs,

giving you chitters and support as you make your way up the stairs. I think a slingshot out. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-. Get it. And you are met with, you are met with a large ornate door that is closed and significantly too high for you to reach the handle. Yet all of you begin to feel your body's changing. It's been roughly 30 minutes or so since you exited the tiny hallway. And it seems whatever magic's existed inside of that room

have already begun to fade. And as you crest the top of the stairs, you're about, 10 times as tall as you were, about half your normal height. And with another five minutes, you regain your height, and you all stand almost in this little alcove, shielding yourself from Bavlona's sight, trying to be incredibly quiet. Grico, I'm assuming you're hanging from the ceiling just to make this easy.

Someone open the door. As you are standing there trying to be as quiet as possible not to alert Babylon to your presence. Open the door. Try to open the door. With a soft... The door itself opens, but it is at this moment that you hear the teapot clatter a little bit

as the guest accidentally spilled some of the tea, and you lucked out that the sound of the door opening was muffled by both of them trying to rectify the spilled tea situation, and you're able to quickly slide into the room and shut the door with a soft click. It's rectify.

I was like, Oh, keep doing! You press yourselves up against the door and the wall, and you breathe in deeply. That was close. You are so incredibly close to being caught. Now you're surrounding.

by quiet. The dampness in this room is palpable as you breathe in the air, and your eyes begin to once again adjust to a new light. A ball of light bobs above the rafters, casting shadows over the room, in which the owner's messy habits are on full display. Rumpled and moldering rug, share floor space with food scraps, stacks of dirty dishes, and tipped over clay pots,

whose plants have long since died. A bed that occupies one corner of the room has a pile of straw in place of a mattress. In the opposite corner stands a squat chest of drawers with a watering can resting atop it. The only other furnishings of note is a stocky wooden chest with a sturdy iron padlock. It sits in one corner between two closed doors. And it is in this moment that you notice something. A shadow moving along the wall. Your eyes dart to the other end of the room to see what catches the shade.

shadow, but there's nothing there. You look back, and once you again, you see the shadow move, Creming, like, you roll an intelligence check from you, please. Oh, exactly what the fuck this is. Did you say rumpled? Rumbled. Rumbled. Oh, I know what this is. Rumpled? Rumpled.

Rumpled. Rumpled. Rumpled. Rumpled. Rumpled. Rumpled. Rumpled. Dumbled. Dumbled. Like, like, rumpled.

It's rumbled. Rumpled. You can, well, what does it mean? Rumpled. Rumpled. Rumpled. It's like, like, uh, it's a rumpled. It's like, it's like, rumpled.

No, like crinkled. Really? Yeah. I'm just learning the word rumpled. 19. What did you get? 19. Your eyes dart back and forth as you see

this shadow move. And then your eyes fixated on it for a moment. And you sense something familiar. There is no entity casting the shadow. The shadow is moving on its own.

And it seems to notice you as it holds something in its hand. A small school of silvery, magical thread. As the head looks towards you and then you quickly see it dart into the shadows. And that is where we're on a session. Oh, my head! I cast speak with dead plants.

Derek learned a new word today. Rumbled. Rumbled. You said something earlier, I didn't have any clue what it meant, but I just didn't even try. I can't. I already have my favorite one. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avengers podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier higher to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventures. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avengers community, join us on Dismuch. Discord at Legends ofaventures.com slash Discord. We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at Legendsofaventress.com slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5E supplement published by us.

Get your own copy at the crooked moon.com. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.