Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 43 | Fungi's Night

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

The Krew hops into Thither for the first time, finding themselves changed...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/MyvW8E_eoMY?si=FiK4olwWfCsQEqWq

Greetings. You're listening to Legends of Aventress. My name is Morning Frost, and this is Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. This stupid piece of silver spool? Are we sure this is all we need? Where once had been the body of twig is now a small marionette. Bavlornah has clearly made her way up to the attic. Eat these a puppet. Twazey, she'd some weird happen. Petas the toy mistress. You have unclogged my drain, found my lily pet,

disposed of the sneaking shadow that attempted to steal, shed light on an individual sent by my sister. Or this wreaks of indolent. Oh, you have three sisters. We don't talk about the baby. All I require is one additional thing. Deep in the heart of one more, a giant oak that has fallen onto the ground in the heart of Peter.

This tree is where my sister lives, and at the very heart is a circular room with portraits of all of the sisters. Pavlorn and Elin, Scepitha. Natasha, I would like for you to take my portrait wife and bring it back to me. Wait a minute, Tasha? We have a deal.

We have a real. Great with now, little one. One. Ha, ha, oh, I'm so tired. Oh, hey, Twazie? I feel a little stiff. Okay, you guys follow me then, just one foot in front of the other, until we get past those two trees. The mists part to reveal a primeval forest, as you all begin to change.

Your bodies begin to shrink and twist. You would all know what these creatures are. A campestri. Mushroom kit. All of you have become one. The mists part to reveal a primeval forest. A fragrant breeze wafts between the enormous trees, sending moats of pollen dancing into the air. Patches of sunlight kiss the forest floor, and the sweet melody of birdsong echoes all around as your bodies change.

Upon stepping into this place, you are no longer the person you were in hither, but now where you stand is a small mushroom person with an eternal smile plastered across your face. Your only form of movement are small hops that can be made with your mushroom body. As you attempt to speak out to each other, you realize that your ability to speak any of the languages that you knew previously is altered, but not gone. Your words only escape your smiling lips in the form of song. With this realization also comes the realization that your movement is not limited to small hops, but can be increased with the art of dance. You have all found yourself in this enormous forest ahead of you. The pathway that had led into this place from hither is slowly winding away into thither and disappearing into the trees, where everything is overgrown. There is no direct route anywhere, and the trees are far too tall for you to see which direction is the proper direction to go.

But that is not your immediate concern. Because as you hop around looking at each other, its goofy smiles plastered on your face, it is hard to overcome this love of song that you feel billowing up inside of yourself. Unsure of what kind of entity you have found yourself to become, it seems almost core to its nature, It's music, this song, the dance.

And you are almost overcome by it. Do we notice that we're mushrooms? And so we've said... You can speak, but it's sing-songy, or it's actual songs. But you can't just speak outright. Why have we all become turned into mushrooms? What's become of us now?

Oh no. This is the worst one. Always. Oh, God. What the fuck? I don't know about you guys. I think it's kind of nuts. And I'll bounce forward as I dance. I'll do a little shimmy. You notice that with the pep in your step, the innate dance of your movements, that you are able to propel yourself much further, gaining about plus 10 to your speed. your speed. Oh, I apologize if you already said this, but I forget how we were like physically

traveling as we turned into mushrooms. You were walking. We were walking. Okay. With twig. Right. She's also been transformed in this way. Are you looking for twig? I am. That was your next question. Yes, roll a perception check. Ooh. That's where I'm acceptably decent. You look around and you see the top of Twiggs mushroom hat. She still seems to be strapped to Gideon's back as she had been when you were making your way in here. But she is slumped over on his shoulder. She appears to be asleep.

And so we're like, we don't have legs? No. Do you have arms? No. Are we moving around? You are literally, you are what's known as a campestry. You have mushroom tops, like toadstool caps. And all of your totesful caps are varying colors.

Red, purple, blue, green, whatever color you would prefer for yourself. Brown. Am I still hairy? Am I a hairy mushroom? You know what? Yeah, it's pretty gross, too. I have like fuzzy, I'm like a fuzzy mushroom.

Yes, Hootzee is also a mushroom. And all of you that have made your way into thither have transformed into these Campestry creatures. And you, your face is for the most part smooth. You don't have a nose all but a small little bump where a nose might be and just a wide, smiling, jubilantly happy

expression plastered on your mouth. Our torsos are stems that leaves the ground. So I can't run for like, we move forward. No, you can hop. Oh, we just hop? Yes. Okay, so sort of like the Fantasia bunchers. That's what I'm picturing.

And what has happened to our gear? You imagine that it's still, like, merged into your body, that it's somehow part of you. It's not that you've lost it, but with no arms, you have no access to it. Can we not change our facial expressions? No, you are permanently smiling. Oh, hootie, you're so cute,

is a mushroom bee. She is smaller than the rest of you by a significant amount. Oh, that's so cute. get, he can't even dance at all. It pains me to look at you. Why is everyone talking like that? Jamona. Oh no, what does it mean?

He, he. Perfect. If I could turn back time. If I could find a way, I'd go back to that festival and never come to the fair. My cousin Curtis was in a band called Brain Creek, and he said this one's angry.

Chigigawoke, chika, walk, chik, walk, chik, walk, and I double beats you. And I just go forward. And you do. You propel yourself very quickly in an additional ten. and an additional 10 to your speed. Hey, Twig! You call out to Twig and you get no response.

Oh, God's. On his back, on Gideon's back. Look at back, on Gideon's back. I can fucking see that. No reason to yell. I'm just trying to figure out, what is she done? Sweet Jesus, what is she done?

She's a puppy. You're doing that as her child. I can't even like, I like contemplate that. Roll a perception check as you're standing next to Gideon. Big numbers. 12. Okay, the DC was 10. You're standing right next to Gideon. You hop a few times to get a good look, and you see that it's not necessarily that Twig is sleeping.

but she appears to be completely inanimate. Oh no. Ugh. I like use my mushrooms, my mushroom stand. Please don't. Please stop. To smack her off, Gideon's back. Stop.

In the name of love. Before you hurt our friend. I don't stop. trying to knock twig off of Gideon's back. Yeah. Knowing, knowing full-wack, follow-up. I'm saying this right now just to help you, knowing full well that you guys do not have arms or a way to pick her back up.

Yeah. Well, I probably can't do very well. Well, you're going to have to roll for it. Okay. What would do have someone roll to knock someone off of a back? It's a attack. Yeah. It's a dirty or flight of face.

Or athletics. Yeah, do athletics. Free. Okay, yeah. No, you are not very good at it. You are attempting to do this as you hop up and down, but all you seem to be capable of doing is knocking her torso from one side to the other. And with the sound of clacking wood, you watch as twigs torso is just flipped from one side to the other,

her dangling marionette hands. The strings and the controls smacking into the ground with every, with every nudge. Tormack wants to know where we're going. This is very concerning. Well, we went into the woods today, and we were in for a big surprise. I guess from a certain point of view,

spoken word is like singing. Ain't that right, all you have to do is like bob your head. And that's nothing up. That's nothing. Yeah, just got a musical cadence. We've proven that music is true. Just, well, what should we do about this?

I want to die. Cray. I think you should follow me. This is quite easy. Anyone could do it even a flea. I'm gonna laugh around these fuckers. Yeah, he's doing laps and so I point and I'm like, we have to trust in the Grico,

hard as it might be. I think I can probably just speak to this cadence just like the Baron taught me and it's sort of let's, My guest does follow, Grico. Walking down the path, Broop do to do. Walking down the path. Stepping on the beach,

Littoo, we're stepping on the beach, B'Roo-Doo-Doo. Come on, let's go. We go forward. We go forward. Torbeck is definitely enjoying dancing, like, alongside to keep up with Bricko. You are, you are dancing ahead.

I'm not going to freak out. You are dancing ahead giving in to the musical nature that has come with this new body of yours. And it becomes, two things become clear to you very quickly, that the forest is getting denser and that the path that you're on is slowly disappearing into nothing and that you will be forced to just venture through the forest with no path to guide you. And that Gideon, without the pep in his step,

is significantly further behind. Minus 20 to speed. As all he can do is hop. and you are minus 10 to your speed. Oh, no. Kidian, why does it look like you are trying to traverse and not draw the attention of the shy Hulu? Your rhythm is gone.

Come on, buddy, don't you giddy up? Gideon, come on, why don't you giddy up? Guess who's back? Way back here. Back in the forest. He already did that one. I couldn't think of anything better. Way back here.

Okay, okay, let me try. Now you can be saying, talk like this, and you're gonna point no shucks how to eat little grain is. Burm, burn, brim, brim, brim. Just do that. And then, oh, you can probably just talk like this because you are kind of sucks how to count.

Oh, no offense. I'll see a kid coming. That's coming down the path. Exactly. Why don't we tie a rope round him? I guess we don't have arms. We have some way to drag him. I like, he'll pretend you play air guitar with no arms.

It's just blinking a lot. You should just provide your mushroom stamp two nuts. He and a lot. You just run up behind. him and you just like ram into him and knock him forward. Come on, beagle red, let's mushroom stamp along. I was gonna like, I'll just try to push him as I dance behind him, which hopefully like inspire him

or just shove him along. Yeah, you're able to shove him along faster. I'll say you could increase the speed to what it normally is, but the rest of you that are dancing forward are still way faster than he is. Well, thanks, Krimi. This really helps. He says he's, it's real easy.

He says he's head butt like 20 feet forward. I feel so fast now, it's crazy how much better this is. And skeletons came too live. Their bones are their money. Their bones are their money. Their bones are their money. What a great thing to say. I'd be a safe.

He's suddenly skilled it. How can you say something so controversial? It's true. Oh, God. It's really easy. You just talk like this. Buh, b'bhbhbh, b'bhbhbhbh. We just, so yeah, we just try to.

We continue forward. Yeah, we don't leave Giddydy behind. We would never wait for that. No, of course. and you find a pace that works for all of you as you begin to make your way through the forest and as it gets denser and denser. You look up at these trees and they are unlike any trees

that you've ever seen anywhere in the material plane, let alone in the swamps of hither. These trees, their bark at first looks like a brown from afar, but as you get close to them, you realize that they're a dark purpleish gray. and that the bark swirls and twists and spirals as it reaches up towards the sky and the branches, instead of spreading out and over the sky,

they almost reach up into even more spirals and twists. The leaves on them shimmer with a technicolor. Technicolors as you look at them, though they look to be green at first glance. the more that you look at them, you realize that the veins in the leaves themselves are almost pulsing with different colors. And it is quite beautiful.

But aside from that, you notice nothing else strange about this forest. You hear the sounds of birds and animals throughout the wild. None of them seem drawn to you or bothered by your presence here in the forest. And it is, for the most part, quiet. as you look towards the sky and see that the day is fading. You're about midway through the afternoon and heading towards twilight.

And you have at this point probably been traveling for a few hours now. You would expect with the amount of motion you've been propelling your bodies forward, the dance and the song, that you would be exhausted if you were in your normal. were in your normal skin suits. But you don't feel exhausted at all. But you have not found any signs of civilization at all. Hey guys, I thought occurred to Torbeck. What is that Tobet?

Torbeck's a big hairy mushroom. Kind of like Torbeck's big hairy mushroom. I think I understand your meaning, but could you try rephrasing? It's kind of bit mixed company. Torbeck isn't very comfortable. Talking about Torbeck's penis. Oops.

Oops, you did it again. You mentioned your junk. Is, sorry. Go ahead. No, I was going to ask, is the, I need you just read, Is the forest still as dense as it was, and there's just no, it's not continuing to get denser. It's just a kind of reached a level of density.

I will show you a map of thither. Just ignore what names you see, because those are irrelevant to you guys. To kind of give you an idea of how thick the canopy of trees is. Oh, wow. That is all trees. Oh, fuck.

Oh. And you are traveling through them. You have come, so far have seen no landmarks. You've seen no signs of mountains, no signs of rivers. You imagine with the vegetation the way it is that there has to be some sort of running water. There should be some sort of mountains. But so far and just the aimless traveling that you've been doing, you have come across nothing. But in like normal height, transportation, travel. We've gone like eight feet. No, you're, so yes, you've turned into mushrooms,

but you're not like, you're not like this big. My seven foot tall mushroom. You're like, you're about, you're about the size of twig. You're about the size of twig. Oh. And the movement that you've gained is faster than your walking speed at your normal height.

So you've actually been traveling much deeper into this forest than you would have, had you not changed. Okay, I'm down with that. Does twig seem the same? She still seems to be inanimate. Ah. And if we don't feel tired at all, have we seen any other life? Are there birds, are there squirrels?

You can hear them, but you haven't seen any. I look for aminals. Roll a perception check. I just had not rolled above a tan in like three weeks. Perception, 13. You spot a purple bird. It looks similar to a blue bird, but purple, and slightly smaller with a soft pink belly.

And you look up towards it, and it's nest into a nest in one of the trees above your head. And it took you a minute to really pick out its sound in the plethora of animal noises and just nature sounds that are echoing all around you in this place. But you are able to spot it. And the bird seems to spot you as its head turns this way or that looking at you, almost intrigued by you.

As you watch it fly up into the canopy of the trees, grab a couple of twigs and continue to build its nest. Hey, boat. Mr. Hey, bird. Come down here and me. Have some questions for you. Hey, bird. Roll an animal handling check and disadvantage.

You're like intentionally going, Heybert. You didn't use tourbecks on bird calls. That's the problem. So 10 plus, oh my god, I don't have my character sheet up. Oh my God. Who would have thought we were playing to you today? Someone else vamp for me.

Vamp for me. Are you proficient? Come on me. Yes. What are you? 10 plus 5. 10, 11, 12, 30, 40, 15, 16, 17, 18. 18.

You have a plus 8? Yeah, we just done a plus proficiency. Holy moly. Holy molly. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I can't believe that you have plus three proficiency when you're only level three.

I'm sure. Can imagine. Hey, but. The bird does not fly away. As anyone watching this scene would have expected it to with the loud noises shouted up at. It seems to be quite interested now that it's gotten your, or now that you've gotten its attention,

seems to be quite interested in the five of you, almost as if noticing something maybe you don't notice. I will endeavor to look around to see if I notice if it's paying attention to something near us or just to try to deduce what... Roll a perception check. I'm gonna go with this. Tor, McPey, Harry Mushroom. I'm just like over and over again.

Torbeck is just talking about being a big, bear mushroom. Can I twist this? Twist it. You got twists. T'or McPhee Hairy, Mushroom. That's better. Sixteen. Sixteen?

You look around, you hop around in circles looking all around you and your friends and back up to the bird, and you notice that as you move, the bird's head moves slightly with you, almost as of following your movements. And it's very clear to you that there's nothing else that this bird seems to be interested outside of the five of you. Hey, bird, tell us what we're missing.

Hey, bird, tell us where to look. Hey bird we really need a hand I'm sorry is that offensive that I said hand and not a wing He's bird I don't know why you're purple Because Because biologically you look like you should be blue Oh I guess not just blue but also orange and white Why do they not call blue birds blue orange white birds blue orange white birds

That it looks like it's not a bluebird. That really, I guess what I should expect from the paywall? Oh, dude, that I should keep using this, just go home music. I am going, I should make you roll in an insult check. Just, you know, insulted this thing is. A roll persuasion check at disadvantage. Can I try to help? How?

I roll double-threase. Doesn't matter. That will twist. Mm-hmm. Torquit green mushroom. That's cocked. That is literally cocked. Mushroom.

Fuck. Oh, persuasion? Mm-hmm. That is a 16. Okay. You continue to sing this song as the bird kind of moves its head this way or that. And eventually it takes flight, this fucking fly man.

I told you we had to go on an adventurous hunt before we started and we forgot. What were we saying? Oh yes. Persuasion. The bird takes flight and begins to fly down towards you. And it begins to flap its wings to hold itself, hovering in the air just a little bit above your faces, looking directly at Grico.

And though this bird is flapping its wings, the air about it is almost one of frustration before you hear. You know, I can't tell you what you're asking me if you won't stop talking. How can I ask you if I don't talk? You can ask a simple question and let me respond to it. You don't have to ask 15 in a row. And yes, it is offensive to call me a bluebird when I hear you're not a bluebird.

I don't need background song. Sorry, I just not used to being a mushroom guy. That's very clear. Obviously, you're not chemistry. I'm not sure what you are. Torback is big hairy much. Well right now you are. I think you're going for the Cisco hold music.

I'm sorry, what? You've never heard, you've never been on hold and they use the Cisco phone services. You're obnoxious. What are you doing in my forest? Greetings, apologies for all my friends now. I'm sorry for all of my friends now. These are my friends, but I apologize.

I know they can be quite offensive. This is Cremie. This is Gideon. This is Gideon and this is Torbeck and this is Grico. I, uh, Frost, but you can call me Morning Frost, yes. Wait, can I call you Frost and Morning Frost? Either fine, I have to start all over. Bless do you not start all over, my God. It's very extremely confusing.

If you can help us, please, we have nowhere to go and hide. New here? Yes, we are very new here. How did you get to feather? It's a very long. Long story, I'm sorry. I don't want to listen to you while you're singing it. We went into a hut that walked.

You don't say. It was pretty easy actually. Even though we did a whole quest, we didn't really need to do that quest. We just wanted to do it anyway. All right. And what were your questions again? I don't have much time. Nighttime is coming and my nest isn't finished.

We can perhaps help if you take us with you. We need shelter and not to be eating. You won't fit in my nest. Well, tell us where it is and perhaps we can assist you. So you can kill me? No, I won't let you hunt me. How would we kill you with these simple fungal bodies? It's like right up there.

Stop it. Don't look up there. That's my bedroom. Peeping Tom. I'm sorry. I told you before his name is Cremie. Peeping Cremie. Here.

Creeping Cremie. Fifteen questions, one right after the other. What were they? How do we start being fancy mushrooms? Funky mushrooms. We're going to have to find someone to take away whatever curse this is that you have on you. It's very clear to me that you're not as you should be.

No, she put a spell on us. And now were shrooms. Who did? She put a spell on us. The one he called Gideon. I don't understand the doll again. You're trying to tell me that a puppet put a spell on you. Or someone did.

Your brain scrambled. Can I cast spells? You haven't tried? I just try to like summon a presidation out of my Cap. You watch as Kremi tries to summon this preceditation, and the only expression that you can make is a smile. The smile gets wider and wider and wider.

His face gets redder and redder and redder, and nothing happens. This is little green to purple bird. Why can we break this curse? I'm not sure. I can't do it, because I'm simply a bird, however, oh, through the trees to the west, probably about 15 minutes. I would say very close to the water, you'll find a large rock.

It's sitting at a 45 degree angle, which from what I hear is really cool with kids. Okay. And so if you go to that rock, directly beneath it is a pixie campsite. Okay. There were three pixies there earlier today making a ruckus. And, Pixies have magic.

You could ask them for help, but I would recommend you be a little less yourselves when you meet them. Torbay. It's normally a bug bear, but now it's a big hairy mushroom. Torbiclot himself. I could fly you there.

Well, not on a little. my back, obviously, I'm just as tiny bird, but I could fly you in the direction in front of you to leap the way. So we break it in a most unusual way. If you had something to offer, of course. We'll do anything that you say. She knows! You came into early, frosty land.

Your sense of timing. Oh, that would be sandwich. I can't say that. That was more of a side like a Greek chorus. Anyways, we don't- Try us to the pixies. Take us far away from here, please God. I will be happy to, for a price.

All right, fellas, what are we thinking? Maybe a nibble on a mushroom cat. I don't want to eat you. Disgusting, filthy thing. More, because Torbek is interested. Torbick is gonna volunteer. I don't want to eat you. You're hairy. Get away from me.

And she flies up like one more foot. No. Stop it, stop it, no. You don't like mushrooms. Mushrooms. Mushrooms, I don't want to eat people. Well, from a certain point of view. We're not really people, are we?

It's Twigsie for Sam. I speak to a rhythm. Yeah, all you gotta do is speak to a river. Listen to your parents and go to school. Do eight ounce of drugs and don't do sleep. I messed it up. I messed it up again. Dootsie, cover your ears.

All you gotta do is talk like that. And that is music. After the early 90s. Maybe the late 80s. the late 80s, it really brought a downfall of melody in song. See, I told you, 45 degrees angles are really cool. Well, no. Oh.

No, I mean, Twigsie is not for sale from any point of view. When did Gid get so talkative? I've never seen him this talking about. Byrd, can you please help us understand how to get rid of this sing-song thing because we're wasting away again in the Fee wild. Oh! Looking for a way to break this curse.

So as I was trying to tell you, weird fireman, I'm happy to help you for a price. I'll take whatever you want. Take it all. But not trig. Trigg is not for sale. Torbeck still just a mushroom. I can have whatever I want.

That isn't twig or the doll. Everyone in the same. All right. Should we, well, we can't really shake on it because you don't have wings, and I don't have a strange mushroom body. But I can, noses, my beak and your little,

your little nose. Torbeck thinks you should probably clarify before we go bumping noses. Okay, well you can't have whatever you want. That was maybe I spoke too quick because I hate singing. Well, Knight is slowly approaching and I really need to finish my nest. So if you can figure out something to barter with me, then you're going to have to do this on your own.

Why? And unfortunately, they're the moves, so the directions that I gave you will change shortly. A, you're amazing. B, you're sober. That's true. C, can you take us to the place? to the place that we want to go.

D, we'll deliver something after we've been transformed. I'm not an idiot, I'm not going to make a kind of deal where I give you something first. Tell us what you're into, would you take an I-O-U? That's not how this works. Even with a promise. You're not very creative, are you? You would think as compestries, at least

once inside those bodies, you'd have a bit of, I don't know, artistic flair, creativity, but you're all just empty in there. Why don't we all put on a great opera any story? I'm already tired of hearing you sing. You would like to hear now. Tell us what you want. I already told you. You were very cryptic about it

and we don't want to get trapped in our Fay Pact. I'm sorry, that's how these things work. F, we're in the Faywild. G, we could give you something as a promise. Could we offer you a stylish jig? I've watched you dance. and sing for the past 20 minutes.

You gave that to me for free. Ophah, if we be on the hook for all the things we promise you now. What? I. An I owe you is totally sufficient. But an I owe you of what? Do you need someone dead? You're still not telling you, no.

Someone killed? No. Dead and killed are the same things. You need some money. No. What about? Let me check my mental inventory. You're not going to survive in thither very long if you can't think of things to barter with.

You must have not run into much of that in hither. How about some cards? Some cards. Well, I do like the colors on cards, especially hearts. Three cards for you. Could they all be hearts? Do you have a king of hearts? A queen of hearts?

Let me just check my mental memory here. here. J, that would be just the trick. What about a jack of hearts? K. N. King of Hearts. How about a fairy dragon for you, my dear? You have a fairy dragon? On one card, yes I do. Oh, I was hoping for the Hart suit.

I could make that happen. Just for one I owe you. L, you'll love it in your nest. I got my heart set on three cards. Well, I'm not quite sure I wrote fake three dragon anticoad, depicting a fairy dragon. I'm not sure what I meant by that. Maybe it's a three, because I got three on it. I don't know.

I'm not sure. M, might I also add a long scroll of parchment? What am I going to do with a scroll of parchment? I have wings. N, you can use it for your nest. Ooh, I do like that. Oh, or I could give you a net made of. That was anticlimactic.

P, please, this is very hard when working with what we got to give. I don't know why you thought traveling through the Faywild would be easy. I got sycamore seeds. Yes, that's the question I've been asking. I got a sycamore seed, I got fingernails. Oh, I love sycamore.

I got things you ain't haven't seen. Can I see them? I don't have access on them on me currently. How about an eye? It's cool, it's neat, a varnished eye from a displacer beast. Cool eye. Would you like it? Cool eye.

There'd be a lot of churches, cool eye. What about you? You said I could have anything that I wanted. You clearly had an idea of what you could give me. No, I had no idea. I was just real frustrated, and I got bamboozled by myself. What about a bit of your fire? Can I create fire right now?

You've been on fire this whole life. No, like I said, I know that you're not tempestory. I can see a bit of each of you inside of those mushroom bodies. Oh, it's a big hairy mushroom. So you can see that we're capable, and that we're not just mushroom guys. I can't quite tell what you are, but I can see that you're quite shadowy.

And you, your brain is different. R is for really smart. And you, and you are hairy. Torbett is behavior. There are two of you in there. Huh? Uh-oh. Torbett doesn't like the sound of that.

And you? You are part of nature. One with it, some would say. The Faywild likes you. I'm not used to being a mushroom. I'm more of a monster guy. I'm a monster guy. I'm really a monster guy.

Mushrooms aren't my thing, but I can help however you mean. So would you give me some of your fire? Clearly there's some part of the puzzle that we're not picking up on, so just say yes, kid. Why are you talking about a puzzle? Yeah, just sort of a meta sort of thing. Yeah, sure. You can have as much fire as you want that I can spare it wouldn't kill me.

Or less than that, less than that based on torments. Yeah. Some of your fire. No, just a very little bit, the bare minimum I could offer for a while. She said she only wanted some. You should take this, he's got genie blood. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Oh, I take it back. Let's go ahead and make this packed. Let's go ahead and make this pact. Let's make this packed then. Okay. And she'll fly up to you and she places her beak on the small spot where your nose would be. And she says,

As it is said, so it shall be. Do you agree? Yes. You immediately feel some of the warmth in your body that heat from the core of who you are lessen. And you watch as this once purple bird turns into a beautiful red, orange, and yellow. The plumes on her tail elongate

and her wings get a little bit larger. Her beak becomes a beautiful golden, like the gold of the sun. Oh, I'm so lovely now. All right, I'll show you where to go. Fires to the pixies, they'll follow behind. We don't need to speak any further. We'll just do it in silence.

All right, but I'm going to go very quickly, so make sure you can keep up. And she immediately darts off into the tree line. I need you all to roll. I'm gonna say, Athletics or acrobatics to try and make it through the forest as quickly as she. Oh. 15.

Performance. I'm twisting it. Yeah, I'm twisting it. Oh, twist it. Oh, it's cold in here. All right, that's called three, threes, I'm losing again. Athletics for. Oh, at 25.

Oh, 24. 19. Did anyone roll below below? below a 13, below a 13. No. I got a 20, I think? Let me try. Hootsey as well, obviously. Oh, 19.

I'm gonna twist for Hootsie. One more twist. One more twist. One more twist. Thanks, brother. These are weird. It's okay. They'll bust in your mouth, watch out.

Torback. Mike, when they bust, right in torback. That is a, you know. That is a 14. You're good? Is that good? Yes, that's good. You dart through the trees following after this bird.

The change that has come over her after the pact that she's made with Gideon, making it much easier for you to see her as she almost glows with a fiery radiance as she shoots through the tree line. And you are able to keep up. A few of you staying behind Gideon every time he starts to drop back with his inability to dance, you will headbut him forward into the very front of the line.

And you continue to do this until you eventually find yourselves in a small clearing. You see the rock with a 45 degree angle and behind it the rushing waters of what appears to be a stream as it makes its way through the trees. and at first you see nothing else as the bird slowly comes to a stop and once again positions herself in front of your faces. Well, here you are, just as promised. I can't guarantee the pixies are still about,

but this is where they were last. Thank you for the deal that you made and maybe we'll see each other in the future. Goodbye, new friends, and good luck. I say, Frank, you, Pretty bird. I said, thank you, a pretty bird. I said, thank you pretty bird. Thank you, a pretty bird.

She spins in the air unnaturally in a way that she shouldn't be able to move in the air with her wings the way they are and being a bird the way she is, is with a soft pop and a flash and a little bit of smoke, you see her pop out of existence. Where she has gone to, who knows? But you are where you were told you were supposed to be. as you look around the clearing, at first,

you are met with disappointment, as it is very clear that at one point, Pixies had been here, there had been a fire going, and they had been up to some bit of shenanigans. And then you hear the sound of clattering pots as behind the rock you watch as one, two, three pixies spill out from behind it, all of them struggling with a what looks to be a normal sized backpack the kind of pack an

adventurer would have and the three of them are trying to maneuver it and pull out human-sized pots to drag over to the fire clearly in an attempt to make some sort of food all the while struggling because they're holding on to a piece of wood which for those of you that have been in a material plane is clearly a a doorstop. It's about six inches long, but they are handling it with reverence as if this is something special. And you watch as the three of them try to maneuver this piece of wood while also trying to get the pots over to the now extinguished fire. And you immediately hear one of them. How cold you, you were supposed to tend to it, Spider-Lilly? What do you mean I was

supposed to tend to it? How am I supposed to tend to the fire? and I'm trying to help you carry this incredible troll's toothpick. I told you it's not a troll's toothpick. I know what it is. It's a slice of cake for a triant. And you listen as they argue back and forth about whatever this piece of wood is as they continue to move things over.

And they all sit down around this small pixie fire and they put the piece of wood on a rock that had clearly been moved over, almost in a place of reverence, as they begin to huff and puff at the fire, not even taking any notice to you is the attempt to get it lit and still fumble with the cooking utensils.

Hello. Oh, God! It's you we've been looking for. Hello. I can see it in your eyes. I'm horrified. That you want to cook some food. Oh, yeah, that's true, but I'm also horrified.

We can help you if you transatlose. form us back to our normal self. Is this a singing episode? Yes. Yikes. No. No, we are not gonna hurt you. No, no, no, not gonna hurt you.

With a smile firmly blasted hair on his face like that. I want to believe him, but it's all so eerie. Oh yeah, it is so good. Kounsela, what do you think? Are they, are they safe? Well, they clearly not themselves. Look at them. You can see their essence inside.

The one that's called herself Spider-Lilly stands up and turns to the others. You manage the fire. Keep watch over the troll's toothpick. And try and get dinner started. I'll deal with these fellas. And she flits over and flies in front of you in a similar manner to what the bird did is she's looking at. out around all of you.

So how did you come to find yourself in this predicament? I'm an alligator. Bannan, over a bunch of carnies needing some help. We came into the Fay Wild, and then we got turned into mushrooms hill. Oh no, did you walk through one of the fairy circles on your way in?

Oh no. Oh, who ever led you here was doing you a disservice. You must have stepped into a fairy circle, oh yeah. And we had to get help from a purple bird. Oh, gosh, Granny Nightshade's been messing with those fairy circles. They're doing the ones that have been affected are doing some weird things.

They can't even travel to the material plane anymore. There are only a few of them now that actually can get you back to where you're from. Granny Nightshade. That doesn't sound familiar to me. Okay, well that's fine. I can go ahead and help you for a price. We got witches.

They're multiplying. And what's it out of control? What were you thinking for us to be providing? Oh, that's for you to decide. You're not really familiar with how these fay packs work, are you? I offer to do something nice for you, and then you do the work of thinking of what you're gonna do to pay. for it. How about, what if we tell you what that thing is?

What? The trolls' toothpick. We know it's true nature, it's true purpose. No, you don't. You're implying it's not even a troll's toothpick. Of course it is. And you hear one of the, um, you hear one of the other Pixies call over. No, it's not. I told you, it's a bench for mice. Mice! What if I told you we knew what that was? Will you get us out of this predicament? It's a troll's toothpick.

Because I can guarantee you it's not... And it has magical properties you can tell me about? Yes. From a certain point of... Right, I'll take that deal. All right. What do you say? Won't you shake a poor sinner's cap?

cap and I'll lean my head towards her. She moves towards your face, similar to what the Bluebird did, and she puts her nose up against your nose. As it is spoken, so it shall be. Do you agree? I do indeed. And just as this happens, you immediately feel your body begin to change.

As the Pixie's magic fulfills her end of the pact, and all of you return to your normal forms. Yeah. Bum-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b. Oh, you're ready. Oh, my gosh, you're all so much bigger than I thought. Greetings. Are we able to talk normally?

Mm-hmm. Oh, thank you. I can't believe I had to talk so much in a sing-song voice. I can't. Oh, man. I was just getting started. Yeah, I feel like I had more than the table. too.

Oh, that was so fun. I had a really good idea. Well, next time. Thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome. Spider-Lilly? Yeah, I'm Spider-Lilly. Over there's cow slip, and then there's Maple. Can we call your SL for short?

Sure. You guys remind Dormack of a fling he had many years ago. Oh, I don't want to be flung anywhere. No, it was lovely. The best five minutes of Dormack's life. Well, I'm glad to hear it. Maybe you'll tell me about it sometime. Dormick would love that. You have a really nice voice. I think you'd tell great stories.

Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Cremie, I'm speaking to you in your mind now. I have to say that because we might turn this into a podcast later. And I guess the viewers at home can't see that the place of two first fingers on your forehead. That's right. I can respond to this message. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Do you have an idea for,

what magical property you're going to deceive the pixies about in the moment, because I have a suggestion. You think I make a deal without a fucking plan? Sometimes, yes. Anyways. Why don't we make good on that deal? What do you think? Yes, you turn to fulfill it. That is not a piece of cake for a troll. It's not a... No, it's a slice of cake made for a triant. Or that's at least what Maypole thinks. I think it's a troll's toothpick.

And P? Get out of here. And Cowslip thinks that it's an exercise bench for mice. C. What are you? Lewis. A magical artifact. Get out of you. Used by the great dunamances of antress. I need you to roll a constant, or a wisdom saving throw.

You may not twist this one, by the way. You can use the drive. No, you just, it's a fay pack. He's breaking a fay pack. No, not. I'm finished. It's not true. You don't, I mean, who's the set anyway?

The magics of the fay knows. what's true and what's not. The magics of the Faye require you to fulfill the pack as it's told. As he turns into the mom from full metal alchemist that you're done. As you begin to say this, you begin to feel exhausted.

You take one level of exhaustion. I was just. I'm sorry, what were you saying? It's a door stop. It's a door stop. Okay, and what are its magical properties? It stops gravity against the door. I'm sorry, what? So is it?

What I see he's struggling? Yeah. It's all in how you phrase it, Cremie. You can tell them that it casts the magical spell, hold portal, that it keeps doors open. By its very merit, its physical material presence, a barrier of sorts. You fucking tell him that.

My friend Cremmy is right. It is referred to as a door stop, but its physical presence creates a barrier that holds portals open. Doors, other doors, and varieties of doors. And what kind of magical word do you have to use to keep portals open? That's the trick.

It is one of the few magical items that you have to say nothing to in order for it to work. You simply place it in its position, and then there is no semantic component, verbal component. It's never worked that way for me. Usually you gotta put it in, you gotta give it a kick and say fucking stay! It works differently for the different users. How would it work for me? Well, you'd have to try it. You'd have to find a door attempt to

wedge it underneath and if you gave it a command or something like that and it held you'd know that that was the command word that was right for you. Roll a deception, Chuck. Good Lord. This one. Deception? That's where I'm a plus zero. Oh, boy. Oh, let's go, baby. Okay. Oh, yeah. So you're saying, it's a, it's a human item then?

It's not for trolls or mice? It's used on the mortal plane by a variety of races and species. Humanoid. It's humanoid. Humanoid. Oh, I see. And I, you wedge it in a door, and it keeps portals from being opened. It holds the portal open.

The door itself. So do you have to have a portal open first? Depends on whether or not you want to hold the portal open or closed. It would work both ways. Oh. Works better keeping them open. That's true. Huh.

Do we have any doors nearby that we'd be able to demonstrate? Not out here in the forest. At least not in this area. If we got closer into, I don't know, a town or a small village or something maybe, but not here. Are there small villages nearby? Not necessarily. Depends on the time of day. Well, Spider-Lilly, you seem extremely intelligent.

I'm sure you'll be able to get it quickly without any additional tutorial or instruction for me. That's exciting to know. That's very exciting to know. Are we good? Are we on the deal thing? Why don't we help you get your meal going? I would love that very much. We got a professional chef here.

We got a professional fire guy. Fire puncher, eh? They hate the pot. Oh yeah, you look great. A little beat. Look at you, you're a tad bit fiery, aren't you? Yeah, I'm a little less. And you are all drawn to Gideon,

and you see that the flames that used to lick at his beard have completely extinguished. The redness in his beard is gone, and it's just a simple, dark brown beard. The embers that were burning in his hair are significantly less. Oh, Gideon. And his skin has gone from red to pink.

You're really having a tour back day. We're gonna have to call you Gideon. How are you feeling, Gideon? When she took your file, you went from like a Shataki mushroom to a paloma. What do you mean? What kind of mushrooms of paloma? I've never really heard of Shataki either,

to be fair to you, but I've definitely never heard of the Palomma mushroom. Uncle Bobo used to use them. He used to use Paloma mushrooms. Yup. Yip. You did get to get it. It's like a leg coming out.

You just using it as striking cheese. Danking Grick-Gricko's these nuts joke is the greatest thing that's ever happened in this campaign. I'm like the meme of that guy with the, he's the names. Yup. Yup. I don't know, Gia. I don't know, Gia. I don't think it looks that bad.

You look distinguished, you know, a little bit of something. Wait, what happened? What happened? I'm feeling a little weaker and I don't like it. Oh, well, you know, that deal that we made is you just traded a little bit of something and now we don't have to fucking sing anymore. Thank God, hashtag Worth.

What? Is my beard not on fire? In the end, I recommend you examine your reflection in the stream. Is there a stream? Yeah, there's a stream behind the rock. Well, fuck you. I say to my reflection. A fish in the water says,

alright, fuck you too, buddy. Oh, fuck, I walk away from this trail. I got no interest talking to you. Fuck you. You have an entire gallant scene. Go away and never come back. Oh, man, how come when I make a deal, I lose my dancing, which is all I know.

And then also part of my beard, my dagon life essence is ripped out of my nose by some stupid fucking purple bird that should have been blue. And your eyes just turned gray. And he just can't tell a joke. And I'm dying. I mean, it was kind of vague how she worded it. You know what I mean? I mean, can you tell? Do you feel weaker?

Do you feel? I try and produce flame in my hand. And you're able to easily. Look. Oh, you're not dying. Torbeck manages every single day, one day at a time. And Gideon can too. Oh, no, I've got something in common with Torbeck.

Yeah. Yeah, you guys can relate together. Oh, hold on. I think I still got something from the carnival. I'll, like, reach in my pack, and I'll pull out, like, a separate compact with some, like, rouge in it. And I want to like, just hold still for a second. Oh, good. I just basically apply rouge all over his face, so it's closer to his old red tone.

What do you think? Kidian, why do you, I mean, Kerry, why do you have that? Well, I don't know. You never know. You need a disguise. Oh, that's from the guys, nine. Exactly, yeah. Oh, yeah. From a certain point of view.

Look great, kiddian. Yeah, oh. Like a clown in a prostitute out of the favorite. Speaking of guys, hey on, fuck you! This is actually great to grow up laughing. I am on the ground. I am on shoot, she say thank you to the nause lady. Oh, come on, fellas, he looks fine.

You can great, kids. Well... Oh, maybe it's those drunk clowns that he kept accidentally killing finally getting their revenge. getting their revenge. It's only been like four of them, man, I think. Was it, yeah, it's been four, right? Yeah.

I don't know. Hey, you never know. You always said, only, you know, you always said that they was powerful or something. I get a little nervous, I sit up. I mean, I know we should definitely not talk about that. All right, what's your cooking for dinner? Well, we was just going to make a little bit of coral fish.

Oh, we have that here too? Oh, yeah, they're in the river behind us. We were gonna take a net and catch a couple of them. I know a pretty mean recipe for a carfish stew. Do you wanna make it for us? It is literally award-winning. Critics acclaimed. Literally critically acclaimed.

Carfish stew is what I'm saying. I could. What would you trade for? Be fair, we can make our own coral fish if we wanted to. Oh, I was trying to be nice, you know, how the Faywild works. I've offered something to do something nice for you, and you offer to do something nice for me? Yeah, I could do something nice for you. Grammy's also the winner of Electrum Chef.

What's that? A very popular cooking competition in downfall, where we've just been. Yes, and, I mean, technically, the competition, competitor had his head blown up. That's what I won Fair Square. Oh, yeah. It really blew away the competition. Yeah.

And that was basically Frost that did that. So that's not going to do with me or my award. What do you think? That was my fault. I could tell you how to use the fairy circles, the ones that are broken. Oh. Oh.

That sounds fair. Could you maybe throw in some of his flame back, you know? Oh, can you do that? A little bit of, you know. The burgundy has added a little bit of rouge to them. I personally couldn't give you some of your fireback, but cowslip can. She's a summer, she's a summer pixie.

Oh, oh. It's getting the cold up there. Cowslip? Cowslip? Yes. Yeah. Cowslip. And maypole.

Maypole. Those are longly names. Mayples from the spring. I see, spring and then you are from the. Why? I'm autumn. You look like an autumn. Do you guys know a Rihata flag?

And has she mentioned Torbeck at all? I don't know. I've never heard of someone named Riazza Flag. Okay. Thanks anyway. You're welcome. I'm about to ask why do they call you Spider Lily when I... Oh, never mind.

And looking at her, I guess I didn't describe them. Their names very much describe them, describe what they look like. They very clearly look like they come from the parts, the areas of the Faye that they have described. Spider Lily's hair twists into the shape of a spider lily and all of their hair into the shape of different flowers.

Her skin is a beautiful pale blue with hints of grays in it. Cow Slip is a soft pink, and maple is a mint sea foamy green. Oh. Oh, following Tallbeck's line of questions, because we've just, we just, it's our first time here. Do you know a Mrs. Busty, and if so, has she mentioned Grico? I've never heard of anyone named Mrs. Busty. Sorry?

No. No. Torpang is all so disappointed. It's okay, Toolburg. What kind of fake creature is this Busty and this Rihada flag? Oh, they're all pixies. Those are pixie names.

Well, they weren't like seasonal pixies. They were like just regular. What do you mean? Every pixie comes from a season. Well, we did meet them technically. Are you sure they were real pixies? Oh, no. Torben is not sure at all.

What kind of flower do each of them represent? Torbeck thinks back really hard to all those years ago at the carnival when he was trapped on the Ferris wheel with Riata Flagg. Does she have any kind of flower motif to her? I would say you were up close and personal with Riata Frog. She did not.

She was wearing just standard clothing. Nothing like these pixies at all. And as you look at them, you realize that the pixies that you met at the Witchlight Carnival were much more humanoid than these Pixies. These Pixies' ears come to a long taper. You notice that Spider Lily has moss in and up and around in her hair and bits of her outfit

are made from bark and acorns and flowers and things. And her fingers are elongated and just a little bit more fantastical, whereas the pixies that you met at the Witchlight Carnival were much like the pixies that you would have read about in a fairy tale book, is if they were crafted to look exactly like you would expect a pixie to look. Well, I mean, she wasn't flower, she was still plant-related.

I think she was a watermelon pixie. Not sure. I've never heard of a watermelon pixie before. So maybe some of. Some of them. Maybe just maybe. You know? She might have been to some.

Anyways. The Dormick loves malice. Does Cowlip have a favorite dish that maybe we can play her for Gideon's heat dish? I think you could just ask her. All right. Well, what do you think, fellas? Should we make sales at home? I think if you're making dinner for all of us, I could give you some information about,

the, I could give you some information about the fairy circles. Maypole could give you some information that could help you out and thither. And then cowslip could give you a bit of your fireback. Let me ask the girls and see what they think. Just one minute, okay? All right. And she flies off and they all begin to huddle. And you see that they occasionally look up and look back at you and point at you with their long, spindly fingers. And they look at you a couple of times and giggle. and you see cow slip blush or pink skin goes from a baby pink to her cheeks become a bright red,

and she then huddles back down and continues to talk with the girls. And eventually, Spider-Lily comes back and says, it's a deal we've agreed to make. All right. I mean, should we discuss the terms in terms of what we're cooking? Just want to make sure I can provide. The deal is as such. In exchange,

For Gideon's Fireback, for information on the fairy circles that are uncorrupted, and additional information in regards to fither that could help you, you are exchanging for us a large bowl of award-winning callfish stew. Okay. That seems fair for Torback. All right. What do we think? That seems quite clear, Donald. Very fair.

Very fair. Do you mind if I just discuss with my compatriots? No, not at all. Thank you. And she just flies there. Dormick was really worried it might involve butt stuff. Oh, thank goodness. It's not too late to add butt stuff. I'm right here, you don't have to yell at me.

Oh, sorry. I realize as I'm huddling that my hand is right by Torbeck's ass, I'm talking. You look over and Cal's lips, just, are we still within your shot? She didn't move away. All you asked was if you guys could talk about it. All right, shift, shift. Everyone, everyone huddle. You stay huddling.

We have a sidebar. We have a sidebar. All right, fellas, I just have to make it very fucking clear. This is a dangerous fucking situation. You understand? I agree to this. And if it's not up to their standards, I mean, they already zapped like half my life for us, and all I did was try to make a cute, clever joke. I agree. Their definition of what big for the Big Bowl could be wildly out of context from what we think is.

I mean, you literally have to just create the same calffish that you made, which is award-winning. It doesn't matter how good it is, is that if you make it any different, even if it tastes better, that is wrong. So then you would be breaking the Faye Pact, and so just make the same recipe. Here's the problem. The recipe had two things that I don't know if I've access to.

Oh, yes? Tell me you didn't put Beaselberries in there, Grimmie. Of course I put Bezell Berry. Oh! Oh, it's coming! Where are we going to find Beaselberry? Oh, we did you do? At this time of year?

In this horse? Did you say Beaselberries? There's a Beaselberry bush. Like, I don't know. 10 minute walk from here? Oh, that was great. We require chelkely. What's the other ingredient?

The other ingredient is through some of that that witch's brew patent pending into that. Tobach's got plenty of that, right? You can just milk it from Tobek. You're going to about that mushroom work? No, I'm talking about, I'll point that the canisters on Torbeck's bag. Just slams it.

You can milk you can milk you. Just about anything with nipples. Dormac has nip. Oh, you need the canisters. Do you think you could provide a little more? I'm fresh out. Dormick can try, but Dorek might not be responsible for what happens after.

All right, as long as somebody else harvest the beasel berries, I'm in. I'm in wish to wish it could happen. We'll go get the beasel berries. Are you up to it, man? You're looking a little tired. after what this happened. Yeah, I'm pretty weak, but I don't think the rest of y'all

can pull this off, so unless y'all want to try, and I can just tell you what to do. Let me ask you a cooking question. It's a little mechanical. If you cook this, what kind of skill do you think it's going to be applied to make sure that this is the best pot of stew that you could possibly make?

I'm hoping it'll be a cooking tools check. Okay. Which I'm proficient, so I get to add my proficiency to it. Depending on what skills she chooses to use, If it's Dex or if she decides to slide a hand, I'd be quite good at that. The unfortunate reality that I'm now just realizing is given my first level of exhaustion,

I roll everything at disadvantage. I have the ability to give you proficiency in a skill, but I don't think I can give you advantage. Did you give me proficiency in, uh, wait, any skill? Yeah, name it. I mean, maybe, I don't know, what do you think? Fucking.

That's what I was. I celebrate my love for you. I still feel like singing. You don't have to do that. I mean, maybe acrobatics. It depends what the god of the universe is going to make a call on. Acrobatics to make it stew.

That's not great. I mean, what do you think? Could you just, like, get rid of this, you know, exhaustion thing? No, let me see. Yeah, I have all kinds of tools. I don't know. Can you help me, like, center my soul and, like, meditate and shit and just be good?

No, I can give you a D4 and a saving throw. I can give you borrowed knowledge. That's... All right, hold on. Let me look at the list of skills. We did we level up? You're level four. Did I take more...

Or five. Or five. Oh, I didn't level up. No, we're level five, yeah. Oh, yeah, because you got to four when you got to hit there. So you're fine. We're fine. We're five.

Oh, shit. Nobody else fucking level up. I leveled up. All right, carnival crew. Let's take a second. A level up. Oh, my pro. Good God.

That's an extra tech. Oh, nice. Oh, so does that. Hey, guys. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon. At patreon.com slash legends of avatress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks,

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and plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Torbeck thanks you. You are all huddling together discussing your deal with the Pixies. Oh, that's right. This deal that is significantly more clear and has less risk, you are taking the time to discuss as deeply and thoroughly as possible,

unlike all the other deals that you've made, which have resulted in Gideon losing a significant amount of special and precious things. We need to harvest the Beaselberries. Yes. I have to see if Torbeck has to see if he can get any Torbeck juice. You're sounding very who-man right now. I know, because I'm not into it yet.

And then you were checking to see if you could ease his tiredness and or give him some sort of advantage so that he's at least rolling straight out. Oh, we're all leveling up. Did you guys do that? It took me two seconds. I'll double attack. All right. I just didn't trust anybody.

I have no way of giving you advantage. If you're tired, then I can try to aid you and perhaps I can level you out. but I can't extinguish your exhaustion. I think I'll be okay. Do you want proficiency in performance? I think I'm supposed to be proficient. I think that something got fucked up, but just, you know what, for this episode, yeah, just go ahead.

Oh my god. I'm gonna start spinning my cane around, and I don't know, like tap dancing. I can also provide a little bit of guidance, but I gotta harvest the Beaselberry of the video. Oh, crummy, Torback. knees like a vial or something, and then Torbeck's gonna go behind that bush, and nobody's gonna look, and Torbeck's gonna try to squeeze some Dormack juice out.

Don't know Torbenk gets shy. Dormick? Eh, squealing of Beazling is not an easy task. I'm sure you're up for it. No, but we have to make this work. I have faith in you, but if this is the last time we see it, speak. Just know that you still smell a little like this.

This whole time. It doesn't matter what's happening. It's just always present. What do you want Tormack to do about it? Just clean. There's a stream right here. There's all kinds of hygienic products. You mean take a shower?

Like let a house pee on Tormac? Tormec doesn't think so. I never really thought about that way. Exactly. Frosty, he's about to do something. He's not sure if he can do. Why you could say that stuff? Oh, I was joking. That was joking, Dormick.

That was all a lie. Oh, ha, ha, ha. Good joke, Frosty. Give Torbeck the mile. Would a schmason jar work? Yes. Torbeck snatched the jar, not angrily, but as frustrated as you've maybe seen Torbeck.

And then he'll slink off into the bushes. It's like really creepy. Just let one leg extends. And then an instant he like rushes like a shadow into the bush, right? You dart into the bush, and at this moment, it gives, it gives, why I can't remember it, Spider Lily, a moment to jump in.

So does that mean we're gonna go ahead and make this deal? We're all in. Okay, great, she reaches out her hand to shake it. As it is said, so we agree. All right. And so it will be. And so it will be.

She shakes your hand. Why don't you introduce me to your friends? Oh, yeah. Have you talked to them already? Did we have you talked to them already? Yeah. They've been standing nearby, yeah. We were all talking to you when you showed up. Gow's lip, Mabel.

I guess you... They nod to you. Who's going to harvest of Beaselberries? Oh, that's okay. I can send Maple to get a couple. How many you need? Oh. I didn't tour back.

to slip away to do just that? No, I think, no. He's getting Witchlock. You've been confused, but no one wanted to correct you. Yeah. I hold up like a dead mouse. What? He's milking himself for Witchlot.

It's just that simple. We need to milk the Beasles. The Bushes are like a little bit. I thought we were gonna have to go on the little sod quest to wrangle some Beasles, but it's correct. No, that's okay. They're not that far away.

We got wings, and we've got We've gotten beasles many times, so we can grab a couple, how many you need? All right, I gotta do this exactly as the same as last time. So what are we working with? You got the coral fish? Well, you're gonna have to get them out of the river. Oh, we gotta fish it. But how many beasel berries do you need? We need a lot.

Okay, how many? There was a lot of Beasel in that. I mean, at least, I don't know, at least a couple handfuls. She looks down at her hands. Yesua? No, a couple of handfuls. A couple of these handful. A lot of Beasles.

Yeah, you're gonna need a large bag. It's at least a Beasles doesn't. Maple, Cow slip, you both gonna need to be on Beasel duty. Grab your satchels and go get some. And if it's not enough, I can help with that with my spiritual magic. Namaste. They fly up into the air and dart off into the

underbrush. Oh my God. Roll a constitution. Roll a constitution saving. All right, so Torbeck will be in the bush. And he's, Any opportunity to find you. I don't hear it.

The bush is going and you guys hear like grunting and like it's definitely like, it sounds like it's getting sweaty in the bush. I can understand you, Tollbeck. Torbeck will basically try to think about the last time he did this and attempt to like use his alchemic flesh to make one of his fingers turn more needle knife-like and attempt to push

and drip out some of the witchlight. Constitution saving throw, you say. When you're done doing what you're doing, don't forget the witch lie. Natty fucking 20. Let us go. Perfect. And you have to make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.

Wisdom saving throw, you say. It's me another 20. I feel it. Do you? Yeah. Oh, that's a 19 close. So close. So close. Oh.

You. You focus and concentrate. The bush is shaking. Anyone on the outside truly does believe that you are milking the witchlight out of your body. She is. As you hold a vial and you attempt to siphon the witchlight out of your body,

you imagine the mechanism releasing the witchlight and allowing it to travel through whatever contraption is embedded in your arm that leads toward these particular fingers, these needle-like fingers, and you will it to be. All the while you hear the whistling of another voice inside of your head, waiting,

just on the edges, ready to emerge. And as you concentrate, it becomes harder and harder and harder to push this whistling back. You hear a soft chuckle, but you are able to, resist as you're able to get five drops of which life out of your finger. As this is happening, there would be a lot of, anybody within earshot would hear a lot of self-encouragement coming from the voice. Come on, Dorming, you can do this. My, Dorming, oh, mess this up. Your friends are counting on you. And all five drops, which I guess is the most I've ever gotten.

Yes. Oh, that sounds like one, I think. You got this Dormbeck. There's a lot of screaming. Ah, Norma! Try doing a countdown, that always works for me. Lai! One!

Three, three, three, two, one, one. That's what you'd aim to me. And then when it's all done, Torbeck will like stumble out of the bush, Sweating. Just like drool right now. The best part about this scene is that Torbeck felt

that he was completely covered by the bush, but Torbeck is almost eight feet tall. And it was really only waist down that this bush covered. So you watched as Torbeck, hands inside the bush. The bush was really more of a shrub. Torbeck will stumble a little, Oh, Mr. Gramey, here. Don't drop it.

Don't use it all. Save it. Oh, Dormack is spanned. Don't eat some bananas. Potassium. Dormac would take a cigarette. Get your electromagnolites back. I think I've got some vitamin A over here.

Oh, thanks, Gideon. I give you a... Oh, come on, man. That's a waste of a bunch. He's gonna smoke it. He eats the cigar. I give you 10 bananas. Oh, thank you.

They're unended and that's still a waste. Nah, and then Torbeck will just slump on the ground and like sit. It's about this time that Maypole and... What? He's gonna say something inappropriate. Oh, sure. You're nice style. What, Mikey?

What? It's about this time that the other Pixies return may pull and have snap, and they have, each of them has a shoulder, or a satchel that is filled with what is very clearly vizal berries. Your wings are supple and snappable. Shut up. Snapble.

Shut up, I'll squash you. We wish this. I dare you to run, you know what happens when you do? You return to the elders. You will join us soon. Grico, why don't you somebody, you know, Gid, why don't you subdue them? One of the pixies reaches down and smashes

one of the Beaselberries in her hand. Subdo the Pixies? I told you to shut up. No, no. You know, just put the berries out of the misery. Oh, no. All right, Beasels, here you come with your weird, The Eldridge is chanting.

Just too. Oh, pink one wild. Milk are good. I don't like the way they talk to me, man. It feels weird to do this. You don't have to say milk my flesh, you know? We did this last time.

It must be done. Please, the whisper is beyond the style. Oh, he would make those like pigment-style ghosts that like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cheers, cheer. Oh, so many.

You like good job. That gives you from a more close the toilet seats before you flush. All right, just do a quiet. All right, sorry, sorry. You gotta find me some callfish, at least three of them. I don't know. What is the thing you're looking for now?

Caulfish, you said that we've got to go fetch them. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, they're just right in the river behind you. All right. Grico Frost, that's how you can help. Do you know how to catch a coral fish? I don't, but I'm sure they can figure it out. They're small fellas.

Sure. Unless there's some sort of trick that they should know about. What do you think? Is there a trick? Well, I mean you have to give in to the coral fish's nature. You can either tell it it's, you know, hey, I'm looking for a coral fish,

you sexy beast, and then a lot of times they'll climb out of the water and flexing the sun. Or you can, you know, because they're dumb. They're just your average hymbo. And so you could also say like, hey, Carl Fish, you stupid, dumb idiot. I bet you can't do this, you little bitch. And then you know it'll just do whatever you tell it

it can't do. I mean, it's a level of lack of intelligence that you can't see in anything above a Carlfish. I just need 10 minutes and I will be able to speak and commune with them very well. All right, I gotta focus for this. That might not work for you. The carpfish aren't very smart.

Well, I can cast speak with eminoles. Carlfish is an aminol. Yeah, but carlfish speak common and sylvan and fish. So I mean, you can talk to it regardless of the spell. Just keep him alive. Remember I need him alive. Oh, I'll walk into the lake. It's about how you get them out of the water.

If there's anyone who needs superior gains, I have fucking murder, death punch, way powder, ooh, very berry flavored. Rule of persuasion at advantage. How long did she had that? We were out here starving. And I'll look at Gideon. Oh, dang, I got my hopes up.

I mean it's just a clever root. Oh, man. Persuasion? Ah, yes, with D&D Beyond, it can crash and give you an error. But, yeah, if you like Uwu Beowee Fueva, I could learn how to make that. Well, I mean, you know, it's one of the,

it's one of the better flavors that the U-TUU-W brand offers. But, you know, I mean, I'm just saying with something like that, with the explosion version, I mean, we can move mountains, man. It's 19. Just don't use diesel. You say this down into the water,

and the water that's running is a beautiful, beautiful crystalline turquoise. And you're staring into it. You see no fish in this water. It is completely clear all the way down to the bottom. And then you see as the rocks at the bottom move. And out from under them, five large coral fish

lift and hurl this rock up out of the water. As they jump out onto the banks, they're flexing, their weird arms that fish shouldn't have, but these coral fish do, and they're ripped. They have abs of scales, and it's incredible as they look towards you excited. Hey, bro, you said you had weight of protein powder for us? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm Carl, this is Carl, that's Carl. Murder, fucking murder punch fist. What do we have to do to get some of those gains from that? Oh, bear we, bear we cotton candy flavor. Yeah, yeah, but is there any sugar in that because I'm on a low carb diet? It's artificial. It's what they put in the impossible. Is that gonna give me the shit?

It's processed like, yes! Okay, cool, because I need to lose a couple of pounds to get my weight class with this wrestling match tomorrow, so I'm all cool with that. I'm bloating, I've probably got like two or three pounds of waterways. And there's gear to set up your camera while you lift just in that pot over there. No way, bra.

Yeah, it's all in one place. Wait, so we just gotta jump into that pot and we can have some gear to set up our cameras and we'll have some of that way protein pattern that's gonna make us lose a couple of pounds. Some fine honeies miring your games and your pump are just there too. They're waiting in the honey pot.

I mean the pop. Are you trying to tell me that there are some Carlotta fish over there? Yes, Carlotta fish. No way. They are wearing leopard print jaggings. You had me at leopard. and one of the carls starts to flex.

Come on, guys. And they immediately launched themselves over. And they, they're going on. And they, Boo, looney tunes, fish. Real coral fish would know that the Carlotta fish don't care about the gains at all. It's just other Carlfish.

That's true. That is true. Dude, they look a huge, man. You lift, bro. You lift it? And as they get to the pot, that is what you hear. as they're like, guy, you're sweating up a storm, man. Your abs are so glistening right now.

Oh, your scales look so good. You got a good bicep pump going in. Save some gains for the rest of us. That's right, bro. I'll flip you in because I'm like really strong today, and they start flipping each other into the pot. Oh, you want to swap me, bro? Okay.

I need some spots, man. And it is with that you watch as the coral fish flip themselves into the pot, one red after the other. Hey, what's good? You are on. There's no way. Oh! Is it? You hear nothing, as you put the cap on.

So there's a pot. Yeah. Does it have water in it? No. We put it on. I'm using my mind to hold portal, for real this time. When you need the lid to come off, I can abide. All right, so they're trapped in there?

Yes, unless they beat my amazing mind capabilities in a strength contest. Oh, is this a new pot or is it with like all of the lonely juice? It's a little fucker. No, it's the Pixies. It's the Pixies pot. Oh, thank God. You saw them struggling with human-sized cooking a pair of accessories or utensils.

All right. Okay, I mean, let me just do some crap here. I can't even believe you got five whole coral fish in there. I mean, they're normally in pairs because they gotta pump each other up. They're very vain, they don't like to be alone. But five of them? Can't even believe it.

That's an entire, Well, you know what a school of coral fish is called, a gym. That's an entire gym of coralfish. Well, I'm very good at what I do. I have a connection to the natural world, especially when they're freakish and monstrous. All right, Torbett, this is a lot more than last time. Oh, yeah. Did Torbac do good?

You're getting better at this. I'm gonna need five mason jars. Don't use it all. I'm gonna separate it into five mason jars. jars and sort of water each one down with the green alcohol like last time, exactly how I did it last time. And I'll store the others in my apron pouch so that it's nice and safe. All right. You just keep a close eye on this so they don't, you know, taking it a hooch while I'm not looking.

I got it, I got it. All right. Let me do my thing. And I want to start pulling out all of the ingredients. I'm going to start making a, I guess, I'm gonna use my own pot for the stew, because they're in there. So I'm gonna use my own pot,

and I'm gonna chop the vegetables and start making the rue and just sort of do my thing and attempt to start making the crawlfish stew. Yeah, it takes about an hour, but you are, you're a chef, you're a cook, this is what you do. You don't have the time constraints of a, you don't have the time constraints of an Electrum Chef competition. And when it comes to cooking, these kind of

of recipes don't leave your mind. Once you've made it, you're good to go. And you don't need to roll to succeed on this. As it comes naturally to you. But you do need the time. It takes you about an hour, and the pixies all the while are chatting with you. And it is during this hour that it's cooking,

and you're right there in the middle of all this, so you can be part of the conversation, that they decide to impart some knowledge on you. So we gotta, You are part of the deal, yeah. And you're making the coral fish, too. It smells amazing. I can't believe that those corals are still in there

talking about the gains. Nobody cooks better than crammy. It sure seems like it. It looks like we made a great deal. Oh, by the way, we gotta give you your firebed. Oh, yeah, cow slip. What can you do about this? Can you reignite this flame for me?

Oh, you know, I can. Oh, God. You're so handsome. Oh, well. It's gonna take a little kiss. Oh, looks like I'm about to slip her the cow, if you know what I'm saying. I heard that and I am not at all bothered by it.

Oh, I shouldn't have put the hand up. Not the hall this time? Yeah, well, it seemed more applicable to the scenario. She's clearly sweating. I don't know if it's getting hot in here, or if you're getting hot in here, or if it's getting hot in here, but as long as you're all right with it,

I just gotta give you a quick smooch on your lips, and you'll have your fireback. Change his name of Rizzian. I think we're getting hot in here. Come on, cowslip. And she looks like she's about to faint as you like put your hand behind her and keep her from falling over,

and you slowly lift her up, and you kiss her gently on her lips, and you immediately feel like. Wow, he's really getting into it. Holy shit, I'm blushing a little. You imagine that she was I'm just gonna give you a little bit of fire, but your passion and your dedication to the bit allowed her to provide just a little bit more thing.

Carmi is pissed. I know who he comes home to. Save the last hands for me, please. Slamis, leaving over a hot stove all day. You get into the media, no appreciation. No, I appreciate the talent. I dress him in the morning every time. Some hussing.

Some ghoule, I'm gonna whip your ass. The girls are summer. You know what I mean. Three pixies show up. Oh, fuck. That's my magic number. And all of that happens, while you are engaged in in this kiss with a pixie,

you feel the heat of her lips as it travels throughout your body. And where there had been embers in your beard and in your hair, it turns to flames. As you roar with fire. And as the kiss breaks, the flames slowly begin to fade and you feel yourself burning brighter, even brighter than when you met the,

the purple bird that tried to take your spark. You didn't behave. Your skin is that same burnt red that it was before, and the embers are, they crackle at the base of your chin, and you feel invigorated. I'm back! I feel like Hades from Hercules, man. When he gets all upset at the demon guys.

What? I don't know. This is just the closest thing I could pick up. You mean the guy that voiced by Bobcat, Gorge? Always. Like that guy? What the fuck was that guy? Fucking him?

Are you talking about pain and panic? You know, it was really... I was like his 80s was James Woods. Who's the other one? We are worse! That was a curly hand. Pain and was voiced by Bobcat. Goalwood. You know that to have that?

Goldflake. Torric is deflated and sweaty on the ground. Full of IMD. Kiddion's never looked better and Torbex never looked worse. That was pretty good, huh again? Oh yeah, man, I really put the fire back in. Got me back in action. Yeah, you look fine.

A little less distinguished, but, you know. Less distinguished. I'm in, I'm sizzling. It's a little top, but, you know, that's what you're into. I'm good. Yeah. Oh, it's what I'm into, for sure. Oh, I'll touch it, man.

No, I don't burn yourself. No, no, I'm not gonna touch it. No, I'm not gonna touch it. Okay, I mean, I'm cooking. Listen, it's just busy cooking, all right? Jeez. Those people gotta eat from this. Holy smoke, can't take one second away from the pot to just, you know, just hang out for a minute.

Touching your mouth. Grees fire beard. Oh, sorry. I mean, I know you're having such a bad day. Look, I'm ready for the call fish. I just fucking get them and just dump them right in. They're in the pot, man. What are you going to do?

No, no. This is my own. pie, they're in that other part of them. Why didn't you even use a second pot? It's the prison pot. I'm still holding them with my mind. What is it? It's in frauds.

He's asshole. No! It's the part that we even prison the coldfish. You're too bitching getting smooched over there. Hey, don't be jealous, man. It was narrative relevant, I think, okay? I don't even remember why I started it. I just thought you're,

do you refer to your asshole as a prison pot? I thought we were talking about your assholes. Man, you want to hold the Carlfish. The normal pot, I'm holding it with my mind. This is where the Carlfish are. Oh, yeah. Well, everybody knows when you're in prison by hobgoblins, you refer to your assholes your prison pot.

I didn't know that. See, if you gotta hide things away, you're just tucked away in your little, like, hiding place. What kinds of things? Well, you know, like screwdrivers, pipe, pipette. Tourbacks, sprained, shots out immediately are. Oh, girl, you know.

Fish planes! Like, like, gate. heat mechanics, you know, like anything. You got a whole home depot? Yeah, I always get lost in these things. Where's the gardening section? Holy shit. You need a pilgrim.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. Ooh. Ooh. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, damn weed whackers! I have no good. Jesus does. Someone in chat said a prison pot of holding. Oh, it's right. All right. All right, get these coral fish, man.

Let them go, let them go. You ready? No. Well, I mean, yeah. Okay. All right, I got the pot. I've released them. Now you can just very quickly dump them into the pot.

Oh, now they go. Yeah, I got them. Just dump them in, go, go, go. Go, go. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh.

What are they doing? Mike using shake weights? This was an awful one. They're shake wading? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no way, brother. We cut to the bottom of the river, the cove that they came out of. The sixth Carl Fish is down there.

He wakes up. Bros? Oh, no, bro. Gross. Where'd you go, bros? Who's gonna spot me now? Rest now. Rest now.

And as soon as I feel it still, I pulled a lid off. Okay. It's still flexing it. All right, well, I guess that was. Now for the secret ingredient, I'll take a lid off of one of the schmason jars and I'll just put in two drops, I believe, of Witch's Brew.

You know who else makes a good combo. We're out of control. Stadmins. Oh, this is new gumbo. You done an idiot? No way. Got some chits, got some dick. And then I will stir it, and I will let it simmer for another, I don't know, 15 minutes.

You let it simmer for another 15 to 20 minutes, and it is during this time that the other pixie, that the pixies get together and They have these small little stumps that they're sitting upon, and they prepare to give you the information that you need. I gotta apologize for all of it. We are normally not like this. Roll a deception. What the fuck are you talking about?

Deception? Am I disadvantaged? Yeah. Oh God, description, A. 15, actually. At disadvantage? Yeah, it was a 13 and 17, I plus two. Oh, you're full of shit. You like this all the time.

This definitely comes naturally to you guys. You're very insightful, Spider-Lillie. I try to be. All right, well, you need some information. Because if you like this all the time, you're not gonna survive in thither if you don't get some help. I'm surprised we're not all dead already.

Do you even wanna stay in the Frey Wild anymore? Why don't you just get out? We're in severe debt. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well that's okay, well that's the information. I'm just gonna go ahead and relay all the information to you because, well, the girls are.

Is it a lot of information? No, it's just two bits of information. That's all we made a deal for. But the other girls are kind of out of commission as they're looking up at Gideon right now. And you see that the two other their pixies are staring up at Gideon. Gideon.

Gend severe debt? Well, you might wanna go see Ned. Ned? Ned? Yeah. Can he clear our debt so we can go home? Kind of sounds like he works in finance. Ned?

You keep saying the word Ned, and then you hear Maypole turn around. What are you talking about? His name's not Ned, it's Nib. Are you sure it's Nib? Are you sure it's not Neve? No, I'm pretty sure it's Nib. I don't know. That's a stupid name. Who's never named Nib? That guy's named Nib.

And they argue for a little bit. She goes, find final. Aquey asks, his name is Nib. I'm pretty sure it's Ned. Ned? Well, I don't know. I guess you can use both of those names and see which one's right. Anyway, he's an old Miza that lives in a cave off in the forest somewhere. It might be kind of hard to find.

I don't quite know the direction is. Well, they're the changes. Kind of like it's rotating every hour. What kind of mazer is it? Oh, he's an old miser that toils inside of a cave. Oh, but the reason you want to see him is what? Oh, no, no, no, no, we're not gonna go there. Is he like a lukewarm miser, maybe?

No, he's a gold miser. So the thing is, he made a deal with Granny Nightshade. Do you want to hear about this or not? I just knew it was important, I'm sorry. Luke Warren Meiser. So who's Granny Nardshade? Is it another hack we have to worry about? You just ignoring me?

It's just what we call Scabbatha Nightshed. Scabatha! Yeah. Scabatha! Anyway, Granny Nightshade made a deal with him because he showed up here from the material plane out of one of those fairy circles, you see. And he had been doing some business

in a town called Agway, and a pair through nefarious deeds with some person named Remy Guru. He had ruined the lives of tons and tons of people. He was running some kind of scheme with housing, and a lot of women and children and downtrodden lost their lives and their homes because of him. And then this Remy Guru person threatened him for all of the money that he'd made, so he ran off to the Fawaiw. And then once he got here, he drank from one of the pools and became overcome with emotions.

And the emotion he was overcome with was guilt. Guilt for what he'd done to those people. So he made a deal with her to try and make amends for what he'd done to them. So now he lives in a cage, or a cage, a cave, right? It's a cave, right? Is it Net a nib? Anyway, he lives in a cave. And all of his gold that he made from this bad dealing with this Remy Gourou guy,

He has to spin into magical items worth even more. And he has to keep doing that until all of the money's gone. So his cave is just filled with gold and magical items with countless amounts of, well, whatever else it is that you material plane walkers utilize. It's wild. That is a fascinating story. You know if he has any weaknesses or fears.

Oh, yeah. I do, because the thing is, part of the deal he made with Granny Nightshade is he can't leave that cave until he spun all of the gold into magical items that he's given to other people. He can't have a single sense of his money's back, you know. And he's now haunted by the shades of the people whose lives he destroyed if he looks at them. So he wears a blindfold so he can't see these shades as they try and torment them, because they just live behind. behind him all the time, so he can't see anything at all. So he'll never see us coming. No, but he can hear you.

He wouldn't be able to see what you're doing, though, because he's horrified of those shades. But if there were some sort of loud cacophony, he wouldn't be able to hear underneath the sound of the drone that might be made. Oh, no, probably not, no. Oh, wait, how did people lose their lives to like a housing scheme?

What are you talking about? You said people lost their lives. Yeah, because. they didn't have houses anymore. He kicked them out onto the streets where they sold everything that they had to try and get food, but they couldn't find jobs, and then they ended up dying in the streets.

There were kids that were sick, and he kicked him out of their house, and they died. Was this in the Fawah? No, this was in the... No, this was in our way. Oh. This man sounds like he's in a lot of pain that he probably doesn't need to live with anymore.

We could be parted from it. Someone should assist him with his grief. Have I heard of Nib? No. I never heard of this fucking guy. Yeah, you think he's running a car in Agway, and we didn't know about him? How the hell of that happened? Was he not your co-worker or something?

I thought the housing crisis in Agway was... had something to do with the Central Bank of Agway, the Federal Reserve or something. I don't, I mean, I don't remember anything about his Nib guy. I mean, that would stand the reason. What if there's some weird times? stuff going on. It either happened a long time ago or hasn't happened yet. How long ago is the housing crisis? Was that like a long time ago?

I mean, that's a good point. I don't know how old Guru is. He's just a human. How old could he be? I don't know. I was assumed he was in his, I don't know, 50s, but I mean, maybe he's found some way to may have struck some deal with the good barren to extend that. But yeah, so that's the additional information I can give you about a thither that could help you out a little bit. And then the other thing that I'm contractually obligated

to talk to you about are the fairy circles. Now, as I've said, there are fairy circles all over thither, and they were here long before Granny Nightshade took over. And before she took over, And before she took over, they were around to teleport their Faye crossings, back to the material plane of a ventress. Fairy Circle goes to a different place.

There's a way to activate them to use them, which is really, really cool. And I'll tell you exactly how to do it. But the thing is, some of the fairy circles have been corrupted by Granny Nightshade, and they no longer, I mean, they can still function, but they're twisted by her nature. Yeah. So we won't talk about those because that wasn't part of the deal. However, we will talk about the ones that are uncorrupted. Now you have to remember both fairy circles look exactly the same. Visually, there's no way to tell which one's which, not until you stand inside of it, so you better hope you're lucky.

Anyway, the uncorrupted ones are really, really, really, really interesting. So what's going to happen with the uncorrupted ones? is that you will find that they are homes the campestries. Kind of like the creatures that you became. That's why when you step through the fairy circle on your way into the place you turn into a campestri, it's kind of difficult magic because it doesn't always work the way it's supposed to. If you step into thither through a fay crossing like that one right on the border, you can be a little warped.

If you walk into one intentionally, you don't have to worry about losing your bodies. You will have to deal with the campestri, though. They are lovers of song. They don't really communicate outside of anything but song, and they can be bartered with through musical memes, which can help you a lot. However, that's not necessarily what you're looking for, though the campestries can be very kind, so you should be nice to them. What you want in is how to activate the Faye Crossing,

and this is where it gets difficult. You walk inside of it. Okay. And then holding a wand or a stick of wood above your head, you're going to run in a circle counterclockwise. Oh shit, it wins. While saying three turns with a shins and off we go. Okay.

Now, if done proper, And there's another thing to it as well. What was it? Something about your blood. James. Anyway, I'm sure that's not important. And it's done correctly, it will teleport you to the material plane that is connected to that particular fairy circle. That's all you've got to do.

And the great part is there will be a matching fairy circle on the other side that works exactly the same way for the most part. Are you sure you can't remember the blood thing? Um, it had something to do with the type of blood you have in your body. Is that enough to satisfy the contract the deal you've made? Oh yeah. I don't know if you say so. So you're saying that these fairy circles, they sort of act like the color-coded caulderums from Banjo Tui?

I don't know what that means. That's exactly how they work, right? I mean, back me up on this, Grick. Yeah, that sounds like that sounds like, yeah. So how do we know what a fairy circle? What does it look like? Oh, so you're walking through the forest and you come to what appears to be a clearing at first,

but really, it's a ring of mushrooms, toadstools really, that encircle a plot of ground that's brimming with vegetation, but not like trees tall, it's like you can walk in. It's just like moss and other mushrooms and things, It's almost as if someone took like a lawn mower. I'm sure you know what those are. We have them all over the Faywild.

And they mowed the grass right in that spot and then put up mushrooms around. It's kind of what it looks like. Are you thinking of a lawn miser perhaps? Oh no. Then we walked through something like that before we got to the carnival. A lawn mower?

Oh man, not a lawn miser. I'm saying like a mushroom circle and then those things threw those colored orbs at us. We had to get covered in glitter. Remember that? What? the carnival. We're in a big circle. We're getting tauted. Oh, yes. Cremie just, you know, handled Lapew.

Uh-huh. Yeah, man. And then, you know, we're in that giant circle. We were making our way to the carnival. I vaguely recall that way that happening, yes. It was like a year ago. It feels like a year ago. Maybe that was a, maybe that was a fairy circle. And I think that fulfills the deal. Well, well, we still need to have all right to provide. by a very award-winning critically acclaimed Carlfish stew.

And it's done! Oh, wow. Pass it out to everybody. You ladle out the Carlfish stew and you feast. And it does seem to fulfill the path. Yeah, you really brought up the hymbo. Okay Hootzie, remember luck to get last time. Let's make a wish.

And she'll grab onto one arm and I'll grab onto another. It'll stop. Oh, you get to wish again. I'm still loosely aware. Let's go out. Oh, no. I want to suck on the head. I knew that was coming.

What do you think? Oh, it's delicious. We love it. Well. I love the little coral fish eyes. I put them in my mouth and I just suck on them until they pop. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Don't forget to take off the neon shorts. All right out. Well, it's been a pleasure. I guess, where do we go next? Should we camp? I mean, it feels like it's getting late, right? Oh, I'm pretty exhausted, actually. Yeah, I didn't should. Looking above, it does look like it's now reaching twilight. The sun is dipping below the horizon, and night will fall eventually.

Is it all right if we just set up camp here? you're certainly welcome to join us. Sure, this is where we're gonna stay tonight, so as long as you don't mind the company. We can tell stories and exchange perhaps games or riddles. Oh, I would love that. That would be a lot of fun.

Oh, a little bit of Beasel bag. They come and go. I'll tell you. They do. They're exactly right. Yeah, that was the most of the old ones. The long run run the swings. Those old ones, they come and go.

I'll tell you. They do. Delicious. Crummy? This is even better than the last one you made. I agree. He's perfected it somehow. Some of your best work, man.

Well, you know, practice makes perfect. You know, there's eight of us, we could play a pretty solid game of poker. What do you think, fellas? Are we going to play strip poker? Yeah. Well, no. Well, I guess y'all don't have money. Oh, poker.

I'm very good at poker. I learned from that very friendly frogman, atop of the hungry catfish. fish and he said I was doing really well because I won one hand how'd you do overall if I recall correctly you lost all your gold pieces yes I did oh and then I asked you for more and you gave it and I did yeah because yeah that funny drink yeah and then I know I guess I ended well you know what they said that's what that's what the Ballywark said is it oh it's okay the house always is Well, in this game, there'll be no house.

Just us and the cold logic of the randomly shoveled cards in front of us. But if we're not playing for money, I mean, what's the point? I'm sure we could think of something to play for, perhaps more advice. They seem to be interested in exchanging clothing items for some reason. What do you think? Do you care about gold pieces? Do you have any? No. We could buy for trinkets?

We have trinkets? I'm saying a song about this displacer beast eyeball. That's pretty cool. We can play for teeth. Our teeth or just teeth we find in general in the world? It doesn't really matter as long as you got teeth. Norbeck falls. I don't have any teeth.

I'm all in. I don't really have any teeth to give. Why don't we play like 20 questions or something? I'll put the deck of cards back in my jacket. Oh. Is it bigger than a? bread crate? Is what bigger than a bread crate?

I thought we were playing 20 questions. I don't know how to fucking play 20 questions, I figured you did. Oh, all right, you go. I go what? You have to ask me a question about the thing that I'm thinking of. Oh, I got it, is it bigger than a bread crate?

And this is what happened. What is it? For the next couple of hours, as the sun dips down below the horizon and night falls, you set up camp, you fashion a makeshift tent the trees to give yourself shelter as rain begins to come in and you cover yourself and the pixies set up little leaf hammocks in the boughs of the trees enjoying the rain

not wanting to get out of it as you all lay down your your bed rolls and you cover the fire so that it can continue to generate heat as the temperature begins to drop and it begins to get colder in this this evening but the air is fresh and the smell of the rain in the forest is one that you haven't smelled in a long, long time. And there is something about this place that even though it's different than hither had been, there's something almost safe about where you're at in this moment, and you breathe a sigh of relief as you all crawl into your bed rolls and Cozy yourself up for a long night's sleep.

Hopefully a restful night. Gideon, you take Twiggs puppet body and you see that she is, has a look of serenity on her face, but she is simply that, a puppet and nothing more. You tuck her into bed next to you, and you all fall into a deep sleep. You all benefit from a long rest.

Oh, awesome. As you wake up in the morning to the sounds of bees and birds and fauna, you are immediately met with something startling. This is not where you had fallen asleep the night before. The rock at the 45 degree angle is no longer there, nor is the Pixie Campsite or the rushing waters of the river that flowed down from whatever mountain

the water had led from. You are deep, deep in the midst of the forest, in a very, very small little grove, barely large enough to contain the makeshift camp that you have made. And though your tent is still attached to two trees and set up, these are not the trees that you had seen the day prior.

These ones have a dark plum bark to them, and their leaves are a beautiful, lilac and they are clearly not the trees or even the forest you had been in the night before and that is where we'll end the session. Thanks we're on the session, dude. What in the hell? Really. I'm very excited for next week.

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