Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 46 | The Jaws That Bite

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

The Krew finds themselves in a beautiful garden full of roses...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/QBds4Yv4kuM?si=P4JGsrhYOm8KeENS

What a do, welcome to Legends of Ventress. My name is Cremely LeCru, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. You just need to find a little bit of shade and some shelter. That's probably some shade under the obelisk. Wait a second, I remember this place. This is neckbats. Neckbet.

That's what I said, neckbats. No, neck bet. There's a large limestone temple. The sand is moving unnaturally. What looks to be a gigantic. cobra but no not one cobra but two and then three it is a single cobra but with three heads almost like a madness overcomes Torback and for a second you see his eyes flash and they are no longer his eye the bloodlust overcomes him and he rips

scale after scale that's a bit he rips it into pieces hootsie great fucking work nice pull Torbeck up top man great shot You see what appears to be a sphinx guarding the entrance to this thing. Recount the tales to me times three of a troubled past and what set you free. Prisoned, ten years of my life snatched away in my prime, and I don't let anything stop me from having a good time nowadays, because you know, it's just fucking fleeting. Shimmering light appears in the room as a young woman take shape,

shrouded in black garments, See a verdant, beautiful courtyard filled with thorny bushes of blue roses. Filled with the sounds of life, it is gorgeous. There's a fountain off to the side that's bubbling with crystalline water. And at the very back, an arched wooden doorway that looks almost fairy tale-like in its nature, at the door of a castle, like a palace. This is the kind of place that's made of very heart's desire. You have found yourselves traveling through a fairy circle.

To what you had assumed was Nekba. The sands stretched out for miles around you. The deserts were, the sun was hot, the trek through the sands was difficult. You expected to find at least something or someone that was familiar to you, as this was the material plane. But after a few hours of traveling through this dangerous landscape,

you encountered something you weren't expected. A temple, an Ebbechen temple of sorts, and after the battle with a temple guardian, you came face to face with the effigy of a swam goose and a strange, a strange, a strange stila. I'm gonna turn this music down. It's just...

The swan goose was very frightening. I was very frightened. A swan goose, I feel like we're on weather top, folks. I'm down to get stabbed by a morgue blade. No, you're not. You... I'm afraid me with a good time.

Reading the stila at the base of the swan goose, you begin to realize that this place is not at all what you see, what it seemed. Though the imagery and the temple itself is built in the style of neck bed, there is an offness to it. There is something different about this. You begin to notice that in the carvings there are imagery of the hourglass and of roses. And as you accomplish the riddle and make your way through the entrance to this temple,

you are confronted with the imagery of animal-headed night. And as progressing through this temple, you find yourself meeting more riddles and beginning to learn and see the back stories of the three hags that you know to inhibit Prismere. Endelen Moongrave, Scabatha, Granny Nightshade, and Vflourna Blightstrom. Coming to realize their past and what led them to a singular hut in the middle of a swamp and how they were turned from women to hag. Their hagg origin story, as it were, you now know who these women are, the evils in their past lives, what led them to the place that they have come to now in prison. And as you continue to travel through this place,

you realize that though you've learned these things about these hags, there is definitely something far older that this temple is attributed to, something that you don't quite understand yet, constantly, constantly confronted with the imagery of the blue rose. And it is here, as you stand in what appears to be the final courtyard of this Necbesen temple,

that you see you're surrounded by an oasis, a beautiful, verdant garden blooming with wrens. red roses. And at the very end in an arched doorway is a door, but one that looks succinctly out of place. It looks more like the sort of door that you would see leading into a castle. The stone very similar to castles that you've seen in your travels. Definitely not the limestone blocks that you can attribute to Necbet or the deserts. And yet this beautiful garden blooms here in the sands. And in the very center, you notice something that stands out from all of the blue roses

and all of the verdant green. A very large fountain. The water inside of it is cool, blue, and crystalline. That's not what catches your attention. It is the horrible effigy of a creature you have all seen. before that looms over the water, the figure of the Jabberwock. Its wings outspread, its neck bent down as it is almost, it looks almost poised to attack the singular thing that sits in the very center of this fountain. Out of

the very middle, the large stone, you see a stone depiction of a sword. a sword that is encircled by thorns and topped on the hilt with a singular rose, not blue like every other rose that you see here, but completely colorless. And as you look at this fountain, you notice that there are climbing up the sides of this Jabberwock fountain. On one side, you see beautiful blue roses. And then the other side catches your attention as you see the only other color. red, beautiful red roses that climb up the other side, almost as if they're competing,

almost as if they're battling each other as their thorned vines twine together and try to overtake this beautiful fountain. And at the very front, a large plaque with some sort of writing. And that's what you see as you enter this place. So it's a stone statue of the Java Walk. It's a stone statue of a Java Walk.

Oh my God, that scares the show. That's it! Ha! It's the elder beast of Hridian scale. Not in front of us, fellas. Wait, that's what you saw. That's what I saw. When you were flying up in the sky,

that's what you saw across the way? How the fuck did it get here? To be clear, this is a statue, not real, Cremie. I mean, it looks like a statue, but maybe it's some kind of trick. Wait, with my second sight, would I... Do I see anything weird with my sight beyond sight? It looks like a statue. No, you're right.

It looks like a statue. Oh, why is it here though? I mean, is there some kind of fucking connection? I don't get it. Also, I feel like we need to unpack everything we just saw and have echoes past. There's so much information my mind is whirring around. It's bongling.

The meaning of the statues with the animal heads, the nature of the riddles, why this is here, The fact that we went through a fairy circle and its connection to the Fay Wild, what we saw there in the form of a Jabberwocky and why it's now represented here in this strange garden, and so many mysteries. I thought we had our share of mysteries, and yet it was an order of magnitude too small. Why are you calling it that, Frost? What?

Jabberwocky. Oh. Do we not know that in that name? You're trying to make it like a cute thing? It's a Jabberwawk. I think that Richie is pointing out the common misconception. Jabberwaki is the name of the poem. The creature itself is the Jabberwock.

You know why. It just sounded really natural, was they jabberwocky. Oh, it does sound very cute. Oh, hello, little Jabberwocky. Come here, come here, coochie, coochy, cute, it's like Kleenex and facial tissue. Yeah, yeah. Or Band-Aid. And adhesive bandage. Kind of.

Anyways, I would like to say that my mind is similarly boggled, but this is far more information than I usually am able to process in a month, much less in several hours, especially after baking alive in the desert and being poisoned by a snake and being dragged down to a spooky voodoo swamp. Yeah, yeah. Dormega greens! It's been rough, gosh, it's been... I mean, so why are we seeing all this?

I mean, who's showing us all of this? Is the door still there on the other side? This is a very large courtyard. It is a temple oasis courtyard. It is two, maybe even three times larger than the courtyards you'd been in previously. And it is all verdant. There is lush grass at your feet.

It feels in the other courtyards, it felt like it was up. 120 degrees Fahrenheit. And here it feels like it's a nice 65. There is a breeze. It is beautiful. And at the very end, you notice that the final, the backstone wall is made out of what almost looks like marble.

And it is very clearly not the same stone the rest of the temple is made out of. Maybe someone knows we have business with all of those people and they're trying to help us out. Also, Dormack feels really bad about

eating all those cookies now. I would ask, why, why would you assume that we're being shown something? I should get questions. We just came here. We're intruding. But I mean, don't you think that's a weird fucking coincidence that like, I mean, I guess anyone,

anyone that walks through Prismia would have the same fucking experience. Maybe that's true. I suppose it's possible that we were somehow intercepted and brought here and that that's, that there's an intent and a meaning to all of this. It wouldn't be impossible. Well, it wouldn't be weird to walk through a place like this and have something happen, but it's pretty fucking strange we walk through here and it's all to do with the eggs and it's all about how they got to be the way they are. I mean, it definitely feels like that's for us. I don't think it's personal. It doesn't seem like it's for...

We're adjacent to the Faywild. There's nothing fady about this in my mind. It's just like wandering into someone's house and reading their library. Of course, you'd find books that you might make connections with or draw some assumptions about. Does this remind me at all of the glade or whatever that I saw the visions of when I had the unicorn horn?

Oh. I'm trying to remember. Is that the one where you saw the unicorn? No, that's the one where you saw the unicorn. Yeah, I was looking through someone's eyes. It's very clearly not in any way similar. Oh. Well, I mean, if it's just a statue, and then,

where's the sword? Is it just sitting on its own? No, so it is part of the fountain. So there's this gigantic fountain in the center, and it has the stone image of the Jabber Walk as if it is like over this sword in the stone, almost menacingly, like it is, like they are in battle with each other. And the sword is in the very center coming out of a stone.

Wow, clever. A sword in the stone? No longer idea. I know that. The sword itself is also stone. It is a depiction because of a stone. because it is all part of the same fountain. But it is quite a large sword with the tendrils of thorny rose vines

wrapped around it, and then the head of it comes to the end of the hilt, which is the shape of a rose. And it is oddly devoid of color. So what do you think, fellas? I mean, should we just pass this and go to the next door? Are we supposed to, like,

I don't know. Is this something in the fountain that we have to do? Is that the not equivalent? Uh-uh. Everything so far has had one of them plaques that breaks it down for us, and it looks like this one's got one of the same. Maybe.

I agree. I imagine there may be an additional riddle, perhaps some challenge or tests that we have to pass in order to progress. That was the case in the previous area. Well, if we have to tell another story, I guess Torbeck can talk about his irritable bowel syndrome and how Torbeck overcame it, but not really.

It has to be relevant to whatever the riddle is. The plaque itself should give us some indication, but unlike some of the others, is written in the language I don't read. Well, there's nothing to say. It couldn't be a story about mild to modern inconveniences, and then, you know, just be ready. Torbeck is unfortunately always ready.

Do you, like, do you just want to talk about it? I feel like you keep bringing up your ear bowel syndrome? Torbeck is trying to stop eating rubber hosing, but it really looks like licorice. Well, it's out of that or it's the 27 hag cookies you eat. It's hard to tell with what's in that. Oh, that's a good point. What if you're growing a bunch of, like, little fuckers inside of your gut now?

Because you eat all those cookies like Bavlona did. What if they're like growing like pull-ups inside of your carbon? Gringo stop. You're scaring Torrek. Grigo stop. What's a tiny little fucking tulbeck starts sprouting out of you. No, Gringo stop! Oh God! Torben can feel the googies coming back up! Ah! Ah!

Did the coral fish too? Can we just stop? Everybody's just fucking caught out, all right? Look, you're gonna be fine. Just next time don't eat like 38,000 feathers. You understand? It was all so good. It doesn't matter how good it is. Oh, how about when you take one little nibble you realize it's not licorice?

Stop. You don't have to fucking keep heating. Have you ever had licorice? Not as you, that Torek's not sure. We're going to get you some licorice so you can make the distinction moving forward. It tastes much worse than my own. I'm sorry to say. You'll never mistake the two again.

Can't say I agree with that. Oh, yeah, I forgot. You do like licorice. Yeah, it's very flavorful. Not particularly rubber hose-like, so I can understand why you've been making this terrible mistake. Oh, happy sound, confection or deception. Oh, yippee, I've enjoyed some black licorice.

My favorite house to go to is old lady numn-noms with a black licorice and apple slices. I also enjoy the house where they hand out the full-sized candy bars. No, I imagine Frost goes to the houses where they give, like, those mini toothbrushes. And cracker jacks. Pocket-sized rulers. More like pennies, the houses to give out pennies. There's a small riddle inside. Oh!

We'd see, we're never a great teaser. Sleep is the death of reason. The sleep of reason is the arrival of demons, yes, of course. Hootsey, next hour we are going to follow my route for confection or deception instead of Frosty's room. No more two brushes. Anyway, can somebody read the fucking thing? About a sort of Frost.

Frosty. I've attempted to read similar plaques that were written in the same language and could come away with very little. You've read them all, and you've been able to read them all. Yeah. As you've looked at them, they're very clear in a language you don't understand. But as you look at them much longer, the words form on them. It like shifts into common. Yeah, it comes into your brain space. When we were in the circle, though, I wasn't able to the circle of stones when we initially arrived. Yeah, no, you couldn't read those. I couldn't

read those. So this is not that same language. No, this is the same. It's similar to the knights. It's the knights. It's the swan goose. I will. And never do read it. Roll intelligence check. See, strategic. Pick the guy with Cluffs 5 in. I might need to, uh. I swear this never happens. This is gonna take a little longer,

it's much more complex. Living in my glasses. This is very difficult to understand. The letters are just. Actually. They're constantly moving. I will reach into my pack as I'm struggling, and I will pull out a pair of spectacles that I have

gotten on my journey and I will, oh, yes. With a 21, I will stare close and hope that the words dissolve into meaning. They do begin to move all over the place, almost as if they're running, chasing each other, forming new lines and new squiggles and new forms until eventually they land in a rough approximation of a language that you understand.

Beware the Jabberwock, my son, the jaws that bite the claws that catch. Beware the jud-jub-jub-bird and shun, the fummius bandersnatch. He took his warple sword in hand, long time the mansum foe he sought, so rested he by the tum-tum tree and stood a while in thought. And as in Uffish thought he stood, the Jabberwock with eyes of flame, came whiffling through the Tolgi wood and burbled as it came. One-two, one-two, and through and through, the Vorpal blade went snicker-snack, He left it dead, and with its head,

he went, golemthing back. Do you read this out loud to us? I initially processed the entire message before I start to read it, and you'll hear under my breath, and is Jamber Walk. This must be what Brickro feels like all the time. Oh! Once you finish reading the message,

Torbeck will lean over to the Premi and say, ah. Gideon chooses not to read. Torbeck can't read. We are not the same. All right, buckle in, everyone. This is a long one, it is complex, and some of these words may sound made up.

And I repeat the message is, to the best of my ability. I will say with the 21, you were able to just read it back out loud, word for word. What half those words mean? Well, it's something about a tum-tum tree, so maybe it does want to actually hear about your IBS. Torracken save the day yes. There's a tree in the corner of the oasis that just has tums all over it.

Oh, my goodness. Fah face opens them, tom, tum-tum, tom. A walking peptobismal bottle. An achy stomach, die, you're weird. Yeah, no. Not to Hartford, indigestion. Upset stomach.

Wait, wasn't that the thing? The little compestri folks, weren't they saying something similar to that? You were singing about a Jabba Walk, too, when you was like, oh, it's the Viridian. Oh, yeah, they were singing nonsense too. Oh, it was all. I could pull them out, but they had been quite tired.

Why? Why? I don't want to read that again. I don't want to hear that again. What? I think my brain might be melt. I think Gobbin brains can't process this. I said, my feet were fucked.

It's possible that I am not interpreting the text. These may be real words that we would understand in some alternative form in common, but there's something about these spectacles. They really make things feel very clear when I stare at this. So what does it mean besides nonsense? Well, I think it's saying that this thing can be killed,

but that somebody's killed one of these things before. They chopped its head off with the, did it say, Warple Sword? It did. There's more than one? I mean, I'm guessing that this, I mean, maybe this is one mythical beast, but if it's just a fucking, you know, crude it in the woods, just a really big one, I'm guessing there's more than one.

I can read it to you again if you'd like to hear. That'd be nice. Frost, please. Give it one out. No, one moment. Grab a night will and do it. No, it's gonna put her out to sleep, no! The mucinics. The weeping night will.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I say, Beware the jabberwock, my son, the jaws that bite, the claws that catch. Beware the jub-jub-jub bird and shun, the fumeas, bander snatch. bandersnatch. He took his vorple sword in hand, long time the mansoom foam he sought, so rested he by the Tum-Tum-Tum tree and stood a while in thought. And as an Uffish thought he stood, the Jabber Walk, with eyes of flame, came whiffling through the Tolggy wood and burbled as it came. One-two-one-two, and through and through, the Vorpal blade went snicker-snack. He left it dead, and with its head he

went golumping back. You can't chop the damn thing's head off. I just can't believe in this entire thing in no point in time. I mean, they said he went galumphing back and it seems like a missed opportunity to say he jabber walked away. You know what I mean?

Like, he cut his whole freaking head off. I mean, who's riding this thing? It's possible that it was right there. That's how it sounds in common, but in the original language that play on words may not make any sense. Yeah, Torbeck was sure golumping as something else. No, I mean, he's probably solid dead Jabber Walk and said,

and he did a free 60 and walked away. Yeah, Jabber walked away. Oh, why do you, Frusty, you read real nice. Oh, thank you. A very nice reading voice. I feel vindicated that Snickers snacks are real. That's something I mentioned 21 episodes ago or so. When?

When I mentioned snicker bars, you don't recall? Oh, half a year ago. On our trip to Almost Hershey Park. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I just have all the fun. Oh, wait, you missed the Hershey Park caper? Doesn't even know what that is. Oh, it was a lot of fun.

They have chocolate bars that are a whole pound. We're tearing this world apart! You're tearing me apart, Lisa. But it's a snickers. Well, is it possible? Go ahead. Oh, I don't know what to do. I was gonna ask if this is the sword.

Could it perhaps be the Morpull sword that fell the Jabberwock? The Jabberwark, in some point in the past? Well, I mean, it looks like it's made a stone and connected to this other stone. So it'd be kind of weird, but, I mean, I guess there's nothing to say. It can't be a sword made a stone in a stone. I don't know how a sword can snicker snack either. Perhaps it can transform into whatever Vorpal material is.

Oh, Frosty, I think, so Gideon your rod. I really don't think you could pull that sword out of the stone anyway. Whoa, I mean, you're right. Nobody said, I didn't say you that. What do you mean? I can pull that sword out of that stone. You just said that. It's not even a little bit lodged in there.

I can go pull it. If you don't feel like... If you don't feel like you can do it. No, I can do it. No, everybody look at me. Everybody watch right now. I try as hard as I can to rip the sword out of this thing. You need to wait a moment.

I want to show you something. I just keep in your heads up. I don't want spoilers and I don't know what to do. Do you have some paper to cover it? Like, oh. I could just rip the page out of the book. No, no, don't have to . That seems to the .

It's a joke. Give me one secundo. Okay. I am a quick break. Bring me the hexature of . We literally just started, so the answer to that is no. Okay. Halt.

I just need to find this. Attention all planets with the Solar Federation. Secundo is as big. We have all . We have . I can't wait for the Spanish translation. There's a Spanish translation where we hire voice actors to do all of our characters in Spanish

for all the vicebound. That's gonna be fantastic. I can't really do that just on a random wishlight. I mean like literally half of our YouTube comments on YouTube on your ice show. No, I mean deliberate choice, but I'm thinking about nonstop, I'll never say. Whoa.

Whoa. But it's all stuff. It's like, fucking Marius. It is all stone and everything but the rose looks to be stone. The rose itself seems even more devoid of color than the stone itself. It's almost as if the stone doesn't have color where the rose is.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Anyway, I felt it was important that you see what it looked like. Well, he's going for it. Be very careful. That looks like a very delicate tilt.

While I was so desperately trying to figure out how to show you this without spoiler images, what are you doing? Getting you trying to vandalize private property. It's never been a problem for you before, right? I don't know one time if you brought up a concern about that. When it's private property of a horrible elder tag, And it becomes a fucking problem.

That's never been proven. That remains to be seen. Well, do you think? I'm already doing my thing. I know. My hands are on it. We're gonna talk about this afterwards is all I'm gonna say. Okay, so what are you doing?

My hands are under the, well, is the blade lodged in the stone or is the blade pointed at the Jabberwark? The blade is lodged in the stone. It's very sort of the stone house. I'm using all of my. And there is water in the fountain. It's fairly shallow, but is beautiful and crystalline. Yeah. Wherever I got to stand.

But it doesn't seem like it's pouring. I gotta enter, whatever. Are you drinking the water out of the film? Yes. It's incredibly refreshing. It's the first thing that they did. Once I realized that the Gideon's trying to pull the sword out, I'll stop at the water like running all over.

Continue. You do have to step up onto the fountain a little bit. You step up onto the edge and then you step over onto the fountain. to the stone itself and you plant your feet on either side as you grasp the hilt and you bear down with all of your strength to hold this sword from the stone. I would say you do feel, you do twist it a little and see that it is not part of the stone itself.

It could potentially be removed. Whether you have the strength to do it is hard to tell. So I need you to make a strength check for me please. I'll be using mage hand kind of like when a spotter is noticing someone's reaching muscle failure and they put one finger out I'll be I'll be doing that with my hand Yeah, what's that like? Don't worry god, that's grind Grime natural twine Wow

if you were going to Give your mage hand near yourself You whip it at the courtyard It's not lodged in the seal like Don't touch it Don't touch it I got it I got it

Don't you touch it! 28. It's not enough. I'm just kidding. He needed a 30. By the beard of Zeus. You needed a 30 for this. Great Poseidon's trotidon is lodged in here.

You bear down, and with all of your might, you begin to pull. And at first, there is no give, and you continue to pull. and pull you watch as the embers in Gideon's beard and his hair begins to ignite as he's exerting all of the poor sepun muster. You can see the muscles in his arms begin to tighten as he is using every ounce of strength he has to pull this sword out.

And then almost as if something clicks, it effortlessly pulls from the stone. And you brandish the sword through the air. You watch as the blade, even though it's made of stone, catches the light, and you see a prism of rainbow colors just shift across the blade for a second. It feels incredibly light, but also it feels substantial. It feels like this is the kind of blade

that could fell this creature, and yet this isn't a blade at all. This is a stone. This is part of this statue. Wow. Would you believe that was only 20% of my balance? Yes, he almost went supergenocide. Toreen believes it, yeah! We were either supposed to do that,

or we really fucking shouldn't have done that. Oh, why is Gideon so cool? Is the rose still? It's so devoid of color. Devoid of color. But the blade is like a rainbow blade? As it caught the light, you saw almost as if it were a real blade, the way the light would kind of ripple across the blade,

but it was in a prism of rainbow colors as it did this. And as you move it around, this is so beautiful. You still see that on occasion that it will catch the light and you can see this shift of color along the blade as if for a moment you could be fooled that this blade was real. But you feel it in your hand. You can feel that this is clearly the porosity of stone.

This is not metal. Well, this is definitely it, guys. Do we all see the rainbow shimmer? My goodness, that is quite a thing. We got to get out of here. I think that I rule neckbats now. The sword. I forgot that you called it neckbats.

I think that I'm just the rightful emperor of neckbats. It's ruled by an emperor. I mean, there are some cultures would say that's enough to be the foundation of a hereditary monarchy. I think that we got to go check it out. I mean, this could solve all our problems. That's no system of government? It's a entire system of government. No, just because some watery tart

throws you a sword, doesn't mean? You hear that, Mr. Jabberwocky? You're a watery tart. Yum. I hope there's raspberries in it. Careful now, you'll ignite into flames. I'm not afraid of this. Look how goofy he looks.

He's got big old bug eyes. So if that thing, that plaque is like a riddle, Maybe you gotta chop its head off. That was actually gonna be my suggestion. I mean, yeah, exactly. I'll give it a try. I mean, this thing's cool as hell.

You know, it's kinda heavy, but kind of light at the same time. Make sure that it's snickersnacks on the way down. Oh, it'll snicker snack. The snicker snack is the only thing I know how to do. I think you're a glumphalue. I think that's the important part. Oh, no. Hold on, that's gonna get messy.

I have no choice. Maybe Frank is your go-in-for- now, and then you'll know how to do it after. Well, I mean, how do you glumph? I don't even practice galumphal. I mean, give me some. Dorkman just had several run-ins with the law over galumphal. You know, as Galamble, what you were doing in that bus?

You think I need to stand and break? You think I need to behead the Jabberwocky, spin around, get... Allegedly. Oh, well. I think that's just public mass to be. Allegedly, Master B. There's nothing that says Galumphant ain't public masturbation, you know? No, we're one and the same.

If it is public masturbation, then you can't do it here. This is a private courtyard. Well, not if everybody's watching, man. I don't know if we count. We're friends. Well, that's fair. They've seen you masturbate many times. Oh, well, yeah. It depends on the province or region.

Yeah. Well, is there a law and neck bet that perhaps we can reference? I don't know if there are any. We never covered neckbet. In Goldman College. The Jabberwarks not down here, though. We've got to go back to thither, where presumably there are plenty of people

that could watch me masturbate after I behead it. And then I think it's totally fine. I think that completes the nursery. I do have two semi-conscious compessories in my pack. We can bring me out. They've never seen me masturbate. That's perfect. This is turning into a weird power fan.

Look, we're not going to do any of that. What? I mean, what's your way. For the first time you see the Kempestries, his faces are eternally happy, look, stare on, and wharf. I know you can't look away, Kempestri, but you might want to close your eyes. Well, you know, what's also true is that I think the meaning,

it's a lot of nonsense, but I think it's saying is that, oh, I'm the Jabber Walk, and only a bitch could it behead me. Oh, well, how many hands coming off as easy as, My pants won't go off him. Yikes. What if you tried it on the statue first? I'm not trying it on the... Why would I chop the statue's head off?

I think that's the fucking riddle. I think it's a stone sword. Oh, man, I thought we were going back to thither with this thing. I cut that Jabberwarks hat on. The act of doing the ritual here may transform the sword into what we need to defeat the real Jabberwock. Jabberwock. I don't want to say that I, because we're doing a lot of references to episode two, I did it very well on the Unicorn Riddle.

And as the self-proclaimed emperor of riddles and the Muaddeeb, Oh my dad. I'm speaking playing English, though. It is the law of riddles that the sword will shatter as soon as you beheaded and we will not be able to use it on the Jabberwock. Wait, how does Grico know that?

There's a load of riddles, there's a load of riddles. Why hasn't Grico mention that until now? Oh, I don't like to flex about it. You just missed it. Oh, no. That's right. That's true. Crick, I don't, I don't, Turquack doesn't mean to be a bad listener.

It's okay. That's why I had, it took me a long time to learn how to be an active listener. Just like, okay. Every time someone says something and then they're like, oh, he's such a good listener. I'm not going to knock out of him as soon as he comes back from the podcast. So you come back, I'm having some bruise with your lads. A couple points with your lads, and you come back and go, well, quick, out, you know what does.

Okay. Okay. And then they'll eventually stop. And then you said, oh, I'm such a good listener. As we've been having this entire conversation. I've forgotten to take my spectacles off, and I'm looking around the garden. Does it appear differently than it would

if I didn't have my spectacles off? Can you tell me what your spectacles do? Because I don't remember what they are. It's the cumulus spectacles, and they tell me, cumula, I can't pronounce it. That's fine, just tell me what they do. You told me that they give me advantage on perception checkies, and I can see invisible

fake creatures. Oh. Oh. Oh, perception checkers. I would love to. Oh, my God. And I'm gonna do it. This place is covered with fake creatures.

Advantage. Yes, yes, yes. We're so close. I've never had witness while Galumphant. We've ruined Galumphing. It's just a nightmare. What do you expect? You look around the garden and it appears to be

exactly as it seems. I will say what you notice, however, is that though there are blue roses all over, this place. The roses on the right and left sides of the fountains, the blue roses on the right and the red roses on the left that are climbing up this jabber walk and intertwining with each other and almost at war with each other, there is a, there's something different about them. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but it's almost as if when you're looking at them through these spectacles, you see almost like a halo

around each one of the roses on either side, a prism that you notice as you take them on and off, it disappears when you don't have the glasses on it. Mm-hmm. It's like when you're wearing three spectacles at the movie theater and there's that like five, yeah, those five rays. Okay, okay. I'll make note of that, but I'll continue to listen

to the ridiculous conversation of my friend. Okay. Okay. Get hold. What we're doing? But we're gonna move on from that. Oh. Before you do that, let's just make sure nobody's watching in case like we're not supposed to do this.

There's a door right over there. It's like, is there a window in the door or just like a total? Just give me one thing. Yeah, why don't you just open the door? I just want to, I'm not gonna open it. I'm just gonna walk to the door and like just try to listen to see if I can hear anything on the other side. You walked the door and what you notice is there is no handle on this door. It is a large curved or arched wooden door.

And it has the metal brackets that go down from the top and the bottom. But they are very clearly the twisting thorny vines of roses. And you see carvings, woodland scenes all over this door, almost like a beautiful fantasy forest. And as you look over this door, You see depictions of mermaids bathing in waterfalls. You see a unicorn cooling itself by the water. You see pixies flitting about on large flowers,

dancing in the rain. You see just depictions of what appear to be, say what you would equate to imagery from children's fairy tale books. Oh. Mm. And rule of perception check. You can hear very muffled music coming

from the other side of the door. Ba ya ya la la la da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da That's nice scene You know I was playing lock at sea Yeah You press your ear to the door and at first you hear nothing. You slowly make your way down towards the bottom, the very small place

between the ground and the edge of the door. And you attempt to listen in, and for a second, you feel like you hear childlike laughter. Oh, God. I don't say anything. I'll just sort of like startle and take my head away from the door and then I'll put it back to see if I still hear it. That's all you heard. Ugh.

And I just look around. I think you're good, kid. Yeah, all right, well. Let a rip. So what are we think? Just cut the head off? I mean, this is a riddle. By the law of riddle kind. Yes.

All I can tell you, this sword shatters, and I'll lose my only opportunity to act like Angio from Final Fantasy 7 Crassus Corps where I have a giant broadsword on my bag, but all I ever do is never use it and just punch people. I want to be very upset. Ah! Ah!

Get an archie. Get a knife. Dude, what the fucking job? Sorry, sorry, it's the sword, I don't know! Ah! Roll an attack at advantage, please. Oh, no. You can use a sword.

He's a player, he's bristling with all weapons. Oh! Oh, wow. That twice! It's nice echoes throughout the temple, Jabberwark, these nuts, these nuts, these nuts, these nuts, As you swing this sword through the air,

a tear comes to Griko's eye. You can hear the sound of the blade swoosh through the air, the same way that you would hear a normal blade swoosh through the air, not a blade of stone. The way that this sword feels in your hands, you bring it down against the stone neck of the Jabberwock, feels like the way a sword should feel. And the sickening slice that rends

the air as not a crack, but an actual slice happens at the neck of this Jabberwock. You see a clean cut of stone. This is not flesh, but this sword has rendered the neck of the Jabberwock as if it were. And with a loud splash and capunk, the sword or the head of the Jabberwock, lands into the water at the base of the pool, or at the base of the fountain. And then immediately you begin to watch as thick white paint begins to spill out

of the severed neck of the Jabberwock and begin to fill up the fountain. With loud glup, glups, gulps, the paint viscous and thick spills out into the fountain mixing with the water that was in there, thinning it out into, a beautiful white jesso-like paint. Oh, man, Torbett told you guys,

this is going to get messy. Oh my God. That actually is what glomping means. That's graphic. No. That was a clean cut. Well, um, uh, go um, go um, go um, go um, you have to glumph now.

You have to glump away, though. Oh, yeah, all right. I turn away from this statue. Oh, two, two degrees. On Zim. I just spinning a 360. Time to go on. It's so amazing, you know, 360's all the way around.

No. I drop trial. Here we go. I'm kidding. I don't want to do that. I was waiting. Someone stop me. Please.

Is the paint flowing ongoingly? Yes. Backing up. Was the fountain already fountening water? It had water in the in the, the base, but there was no water coming from anywhere else. It was still, and it was beautiful and crystalline. We're gonna get G.R.D.O.

And now is it starting to flow and fill? Like, is it getting- As the paint is pouring out of the severed neck of the Jabberwock statue, it is beginning to rise, but it is mixing with the paint. And what had been this very thick, viscous paint is now thinning with the mix of the water. And it's becoming, none of you are artists,

but similar to paint that you would paint with, should you be into that sort of thing. I spin away from the statue after doing a 360 and I just leap from where I was slightly elevated back to the ground, like away from the water and do my best galumph to goumph away from it. I would like you to roll performance check at disadvantage because you don't have your-

I've got no galumf! You have no, you have no, you have no jam. You have no buy. No way. I thought you were going to say third one. You've lost your ability to dance. The actual real Galumphi is just that picture of John Lennon doing that weird walk. Galamphan's all I know. 13. With a plus zero. With a 13, you imagine that you have, you're not gallumphant, but you might, you might gallump, but it's not a full galump. You've got the H, kid.

Get up here and help me glumph. You know I can't glumph on my own. I think Galumphant's just you trying to dance in your current state. Just try that. You think I just kind of dance? It's like dance away, but with the way that you dance, it'll be Galumphant instead.

Wait, don't we have to retrieve this head? Look, that's glumph, look. You know what? Mystical statue, ain't that, Glumphant? Frost mentioned its head. Oh. I go on to back to get its head. You do?

Go on there, yeah. Roll a performance check straight for glumphing forward and retrieving the head. Unbelievable. He's nice. Three out of four. It's natural twine. That's outrageous.

Can you... Can you roll a D2 for me? The D2 for me. Can't get a 20-1-1-1-1. I can't get a Kraken symbol, though. I'm hoping for the edge. It's a one. Okay.

You make your way around the left side of the statue, the fountain, as you are galumphing. It is horrible to watch, to be honest. Without his ability to dance, this thing that he's doing is, it's worse than watching Bernie at weekends of Bernie's. He looks like he has no muscles in the top half his body. As he just jerks and shakes this way and that. I'm still being used.

He eventually flops his body forward and slams his hand down into the white paint and pulls the stone head of the Jabber Walk out. And in doing so, as he pulls it up, his arm jerks wildly to the side, hitting the blue rose bush that's climbing up this statue. and four of the rose petals fall into the paint, and immediately you watch as the paint turns

a beautiful shade of blue. Whoa. Well, that can't be real. You know. What in the hell? That was more wild than a lewow at Richard Dry Fox's house. But is it more or less wild than a night at Blue Jace? Can't even finish you.

Can't even, Booj. Nothing. That's all I was. Don't finish that joke. They're not finish. Did you? Do not finish that joke. At that one, Blue Jay's house.

Oh, that of course. Out of curiosity, does anyone mind if I attempt to do the same with the red roses? Do we think it's going to turn purple, or do you think it might have some other impact? Only some, most of them are blue. There are, so in the courtyard, the roses everywhere are blue. Okay. At this fountain on the, I swear to God, you do that too now. Sorry, I'm done.

I'm done. At this fountain, on the right side, wait, you said one. You rolled a one, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, on the two? Yeah. On the D2.

So that should have been left. Anyway, we're pretending like you went right. On the right side is where the blue roses were. And on the left side are where red roses are. It's the only place in this entire. in this entire oasis that you see roses of any other color. And they are sprouting out of the ground immediately on the left and right side of the statue,

and they are climbing up the statue on both sides, specifically the portion of the Jabber Walk. Wow. And they are reaching towards the top. You see that the vines are actually intermingling. It's almost as if these roses are at war, fighting for dominance over the statue. statue. Oh. When, I probably wouldn't notice this, but when the roses were knocked off of the

display into the water and the water changed, does the display look like it's, like it's leaning in any kind? No. Okay. Don't look like the display change at all. Nope. I'm going to give it a try, and I'll go to the left side, and I will attempt to pull one whole rose head. A rosebud, yeah. A rose bud, yeah. A rose bud. off of one of the vines. It's easy enough to do, just a rose. And I will take four of the petals and I will sprinkle it into the fountain.

As the first pedal drops, you begin to see the color of the pink in the fountain change. After the fourth pedal drops, it is a beautiful purple pink that now sits in the base of this fountain. Oh. Well, not thinking, Frosty.

Oh, but Mr. Cranny, what does this have to do with the elder Beans of Virginian Sales. What? What the fucking talking about? The elder beans of Virginia. Torbex is talking about what Mr. Crime he's been talking about.

Elder beans of Virginia sales? You've said it a thousand times. Oh no, you're thinking of the Eldon beast of viridian scale. Yeah, that's what this thing is. That's what Torbex said. That's not even close to what you said. It's pretty close, to be fair. I mean, he's right there.

Or three out of five on one. Give me the head. Give me the head. The head of the... Is it covered in white paint? Mm-hmm. Is the head of the... Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. What? Now that I have been galoft upon, I've come for your soul. Oh, no! It's the elder means of Virginia said! Galamph Galang! In my gross eyes!

You're going to lump and blob way. It literally looks like the Beetlejuice face statue. Yeah, no, it's exactly what it looks like. It's... Oh man, that was a good one, little green. I chase Torbeck around. I'm completely covered in white paint now, unless I don't have it turned blue before you got it.

You're making Torbeckx IBS worse! Do we think that we need to make it one color or the other? Do we need to paint something, perhaps? Perhaps that door? Maybe we have to, I don't even know. I mean, yeah, do we paint the door? Is it like a paintbrush? Anywhere? Presumably we could use the roses.

We didn't try the door, I mean just to see if it's open. Like, this is a door, you know? No, I mean. Welcome, Mr. Mew. There's no handle on it. I just figured it would open automatically once we did the right thing like all the other doors. Honestly, oh sorry, it's just me.

Grico. Oh, okay. Now look, you'll see that opinion. Grico's ghost. Oh, she is dead! I look like the funky phantom. Oh my god. I'm out of ideas because I thought it was going to open as soon as you beheaded the Jabberwaw.

Well, let's just see if it's a push door, you know? I mean, maybe it's just like that. I mean, go on, Trace. Go on. Go on. Just speak... Nope. It does not budge. You could roll a 40, and you could tell at this point this door is not going to budge. I guess you didn't glump well enough, Gibb. Oh, a stupid door!

All right, well, it ain't go-inthin, or opening either. That's because it's a pole door, not just like. Oh, that's very funny. Have we tried just knocking and asking politely? I just punched a whole bunch. Why do we always have to break and enter? Well, this is, I mean, you know, kind of because we're like criminals.

That's all we know, Torgbeck. One day I would just like to enter. Can we not change? Must this pattern of criminality continue into eternity? I mean, I guess you were around the carnival as much as me and Frosty, but you kind of get, like, used to it, right? Like when we first went, like, Frosty and I were like, oh, we're not criminals. And then Premi was like, Yeah, what I do? You guys want a B and E? And Frosty and I was like, oh, bacon and eggs?

That's delicious. I remember the first time. I would love to join you for breakfast. And then it ended up being breaking and entering. And then what you did you do it the first time when you break the seal? It was kind of hard to stop. Yes, because we're gullible now.

We would be... Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Can we not grow and change and become better people? I'm sure we could. It's just like, you know, why?

Give me two good reasons. It's so much fun the other way. That's good reason one to not do it. I'd given up on that hope long ago, Torbeck. Okay. Matt being said, I'm going to endeavor to paint the door. I think that that's something to try. I'll go on ahead.

Hootsie's also very good at painting with her paws. Oh, Hootsey, if you'll join me, I'm going to paint using the blue roses. It's very cute. Oh, Hootsie, you should do it. Help on go Frosty paint! And Hootsie'll walk over and she'll look at the roses, and she'll snap off a little one and mimic Frost with her beak. And then she'll think for a moment, drop the rose and just dunk her paws into the purple paint. I'm going to take one of the full blue roses, and I'm going to

snap it off at the twigs, so to speak, and I'm going to use that to dip it in and create a brush. I'm assuming it continues to stay purple, but if I'm using, okay, so, come on, Hoosie. Oh, good job, Hoosie, and Hoosie's gonna kind of, like, Circus Bear, walk forward and join Frost and just lean forward and smeared. Oh, you're doing so good, Hoosie, you can even stay in the lines.

Oh, she's just the best, and she likes. Oh, she's just the best. Oh, you're doing great too, Frost. You and Hootsie begin to paint the door. And it takes about 10 minutes to cover the door completely in purple paint. I stay right in the lines. And it looks beautiful. There is paint everywhere.

And as you step back to admire what you've done, you hear no sound of the door moving or unlocking or anything like that. And then slowly you begin to watch as the wood absorbs the paint. And it returns to its umber brown. Hmm. Hmm. Mm. Was that like a good job, or was that like you fucked up, that's not part of the riddle?

Maybe you didn't like that color, you know? I mean, it seems I don't fucking know. Well, then we might have to try and change the color to some one of the binary, perhaps red or blue. Oh. What about, how about this? Look, you know, you got blue roses over here, we've got red roses over there, and they're kind of like fighting. What if we make them all purple, you know, bring them together? and bring them together.

Make all the roses purple. Yeah. Oh, make the garden unified. Yeah, none of the strife. Like red versus blue. Why do we gotta fight? Let's be best mates and all be purple. Well, haven't you noticed all the other stuff

around here is blue? Like, what if it just wants blue? We're not pulling the bed out of that, I don't think. Well, I didn't, I mean, I dipped this like a paintbrush, but I'll go to one of the blue. I'll grab four more petals and I'll sprinkle those in, just let that happen. And it becomes a darker purple.

Try taking the red petals out. Try dipping the white rose of your sword into the paint. That's a good idea, Frosty. It's gonna turn purple. Splush. As there are up from the paint. Oh, I was doing something different. You pull the sword from the paint.

and purple paint drips from the rose. And then disappears as the rose absorbs the color. And where there had been a colorless rose, there is now a beautiful, vibrant purple that begins to unfurl and bloom as if it's really a true rose and you feel in your hand as it thrums and shakes and vibrates. And you watch this thing as the prism of color

shifts along the stone blade, and then it begins to shrink. and shrink and shrink until where you had been holding a blade. You are now holding a key. Whoa! A key whose end is shaped like a rose. One end is shaped like a rose, the other like a heart. And then you hear a, what sounds almost like a soft click,

and your attention is drawn towards the door, where now marring its surface is only one thing, a keyhole. Holy shit. If Goofy and Sephiroth are on the other side of the door, I swear after it. I know that you said you wanted a crisis call, but you've got Kingdom Hall. Don't worry, the story's just as nonsensical. It's unbelievable. Blade has changed into a key.

I think I'll call it a blade key. This is so cool. Torbeck is very glad that this works, because if Torbeck's learned anything about adding red to blue, you can never get that out. Trust Torbeck. You know a lot of little things, don't you? You're full of wisdom, Don't hide that in a bushel.

Well done, Frost. That's a good fucking idea. That was a great. Man, I kind of missed the sword. It was a cool. It's not about the sword. Yeah, well, I mean, at least I got this key now, I guess. It's a blade key.

Oh, blade key, yeah. You can use the blade key. Unlock this door, see what's over here. You didn't hear anything over here, did you? Nothing's going to jump out at me. Like, snap me up. Okay, well, I got no worries then. Make sure you snick or smack it.

Just the cries of like, doomed children. What are you saying that? That was all about him. He says, as you hear the lock clip, the door immediately opens, and you are all blasted with a once again prism of rainbow light.

As you are awash in this light, you shield your eyes against it at first, and you try to adjust to this new space. You feel warmer than you had. That breeze is gone, the scent of foliage is no longer present, but sense of flowers and woods and fire. And as your eyes adjust, you hear, what are you doing in my room?

And as you all look over, you realize that you are in what looks to be a tower room. Large stone circular room that is bedecked in beautiful things. Pastel colors everywhere, yellows, blues, purples, pinks, greens. And you see that off on one side, there's a luxurious four-poster bed

in lace and velvets. But the size of a child, you see that there are toys littered all about the room. The rug in the middle of the floor is in the shape of a chubby teddy bear. And sitting on it in a beautiful, purple, Princess dress is a small girl. She has dark hair and piercing green eyes.

She looks out at you with chubby cheeks, rosy and happy. Sitting in front of her, you see that she has a strange plush that immediately catches your eye crummy. It appears to look like a cute. stuffed version of the beast that you just beheaded in the garden previously. And she is holding it almost as if it's bound to attack as you look to see what it is that she is playing with. And in front of her, she has this clearly stuffed version of the Jabber Walk as it fights against a knight made of wood atop an owlbear steed, a knight made of clay atop a cataplepus steed,

A knight made of glass upon a displacer beast steed. A knight made of bone atop a hellhound steed. And a knight made of metal atop a unicorn steed. And as you all stand there and look around, you realize that door that you just entered is gone. There's no door behind you. The only door that you see is off on the other side of the room right next to the fireplace,

which is there's a fire roaring in the hearth. is this girl once again looks up at you. What are you doing in my room? Did you come to play? Is that the damned child that I saw? Don't call me a damned child. Do you watch your mouth? Not like damn, I mean like damned as in like.

Don't curse in here. Oh, I apologize. Grandmother would be so upset if she heard you say that. This is real fellas? Are you all seen this or am I selling drugs? Of course I'm real. That's not very nice. You come into my room and tell you.

me I'm not real. Hey, what's your room doing in where we are, like in the middle of the desert? Inside of my castle. It's not really a castle, but I am in the tower, so it's kind of like I'm a princess in the castle. Those are some nice toys you have there. Thank you.

My name is Morning Frost. What is your name? Oh, my, well, grandmother says it's not a good idea to tell people your name. She calls me Morgana. Morgana. Mm-hmm. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Morgana.

Oh, for being rude, and yes, it's a pleasure to be. When she stands up and she curtsies. I'm princess in here. We're sorry to intrude. We didn't know we were entering your room when we walked through the door we just came through. You didn't walk through the door, the door's over there.

The door we just came through. You said we're in a tower, right? We're not like in the middle of desert in a weird temple. No. What? Oh. And she points to the window and you can see that you're clearly up very high.

high in some sort of tower, and that sprawling out for miles are beautiful verdant woods. Ooh. I look again at the toys. Can you describe them again for me? She was currently holding the Jabber Walk, which is a big stuffed Jabber Walk, and it was clearly readying itself to attack what appears to be a front line of knights atop steeds. There's an owlbear steed, which houses a knight made of wood. There's a Cateoblepest steed, which houses a knight made of clay, a displacer beast steed that houses a knight made of glass, a hellhound steed which houses a night made of bone,

and a unicorn steed, which houses a knight made of metal. That was very fast. I got cataplepeth. Made of clay. And clay, and then bone is... We'll fill you in later in. Displacer beast is glass. Hellhound is bone. Hellhound. Jesus. Unicorn is metal. Bad ass.

How many times have you listened to that fucking poem, Frost? You still need help with this? Unbelievable. Well, could you clear us up from the paint? We don't want to track paint on all these lovely toys. Are we still covered in? You are not covered. Never mind.

Well, little Morgana, my name is Grico, and this is my daughter Hootsie, and she would love to play. She's quite large. She looks like she would destroy all of my pretty things. Oh, well, you know, that's okay. No, it's not okay. These are the toys of a princess. You're not very good at Sharon.

I've never had to share. Well, I got to share once. I used to have a best friend, you see. Oh. Well, they just left you because you weren't good at sharing? It's not very nice. Damn. What else I mean?

Grandmother doesn't want me to see the little prince anymore. Little prince, eh? No. What's his name? This little prince. I told you it's not wise to give people. your names. I'm the princess and he is the prince, and that's all your gift from me. All right. Wow.

Well, Morgana, it was a pleasure. It's a pleasure to meet you. Do you know where we are? Do you know where this beautiful town is located? Yes, you're in my home. No, but where's the home located? What do you mean? Like, like where? Where we presently outside? If we were to leave your home, what would be beyond? I don't know. Oh.

Grandmother brought me here because she says it's not safe to leave the tower. If I knew where I was, I'd be at risk of letting people know how to find me. Dormack's starting to think that that door over there is lots. Well, fortunately, we have a blade key. Oh, you have a key? Wait, why would people be trying to find you? I don't know. She says I'm very powerful, even for my age.

Do you want to see something cool? Yeah. Roll a d.8. I step back. D.R.M. Dormack also has people looking for Dormack, and Dormack is also very powerful. Well, four.

Four. She looks towards you, and she raises her hand, and she begins to make this motion, See, look, I'm like a witch in the woods. And you watch as she begins to generate strands of this dark purple magic, and she's pulling it almost like taffy, as she is moving it around and slowly swirling it into a beautiful

and she looks almost entranced by it, as if the magic is almost overcoming her. And then she looks up almost as if remembering what she was going to do and she hurls the orb towards you. You feel it collide with your chest. And immediately you begin to change. Oh. You feel your body become wooden and jointed.

And just like the twig strapped to your back, you become a marionette intent on telling fairy tales. Oh. Just suddenly now like, are you, toppled over by Twigg. Yeah. Oh my god, you were. Do you do this?

Yes, I told you I was really powerful. Oh my God. Can you undo this? Can you fix him? Well, if I wanted to, but he was kind of stuffy and mean, and now he's a toy, and toys are you okay? Once upon a time, I was not okay. Okay, he's speaking of riddles.

Gideon, are you okay? There was a group of people traveling through the woods, and they came upon. She plops to the ground, and she starts to watch you. I love a good story. Well, sit on down, because I got a tale to tell you. Once upon a time. Gentlemen, while Gideon is speaking to the girl,

I suggest we sort of look around and get a sense of anything else in this room. I'll nod, and I'll just sort of while he's entertaining the princess. Well, yeah, we'll investigate the room. They had to unlock the door to darkness. Roll a group investigation, Jack. As soon as you start to look around,

Torbeck will look at Frost and just say, What? You're interrupting my story, and she curls a purple orange straight in the rolling down. And then we had to lock the king of the mice behind the door so that he could fight back the wave of darkness. And that is where we'll end the story.

Yeah. It's several. Absolutely perfect. You feel your body begin to change, Torbeck. As where had once been this monstrous, disgusting bug bear, you now see in front of you a small cowboy doll that believes he's got a snake in his boof. Oh.

Do I change size? Yeah. How tall am I? How tall am I? You're about a foot tall, maybe. Well, shucks happen. What has Torbeck have here? Torbeck doesn't want a lot of anybody,

but there's a snake in Torbeck boot. Torbeck, you keep the snake inside the boot. We've talked about this. Yeah, keep the snake inside. What the fuck am I looking at? Torbeck's not real true. But the snake does run all the way down, Torbeck's pantwraib. Just listen to the nice story that's being told by Wooden Gideon.

Tiny. Yeah, they're gonna introduce a bunch of characters that are actually technically already dead. And they all have different colored hair, and you're gonna forget all of them. Well, Shucks Howie. It is a terrible story, but... No, what? Listen, once upon a time. That's not very nice. Why are you saying such horrible things to your friends? Oh, I'm just speaking to truth. It's not, you know. I mean, did you listen to that?

Yes, I loved it. I don't like what she wore right now, and she hurls a purple. What do you get, ah! What are you to do? She didn't know all that mean? Says goblets and transformed by a wedge. Roll a D-A-4-E-A-4-y.

What are you to do, turn me into a nude? Grinco, you really tore back to this one. Uh, eight. Let me know if I need to roll. You don't. That hasn't been taken yet. But I'm gonna have you, I'm gonna dread you Because I want to try and get you something.

You need to sign whatever you want. I could, yeah, but I'm gonna dread you to first. Let's just dread you, yeah. Let's burn the dreads until you get what you need. Seven. No, that you can't do a seven. Oh. That one I won't allow you.

I got seven, seven, seven. I'm gonna rise one. One's already been taken by old little Torbeck over here. You become a clown, happy and filled with joy. Torback would call this a little bit of serendiping. I spoke too soon. I'm filled with joy and serendipity little girl. Isn't it your birthday?

Oh, to be a clown. Why? Do I full moon's off? Yes. Oh. Dukten. Yeah, it was definitely the girl. Oh, child.

Creachin, she holds up the, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um. She holds up the stuffed animal of the Jabberwock. But before it came, whatever this is now. This creature scares me. Without the little prince here, I don't know how to defeat it. His knights don't work if he's not around. And he can't defeat it without his knights. They can't have one without the other.

I'm pleased to tell you that... So he gets stronger. And he will overtake everything if he's not stopped. Oh, that's a good story, little girl. Only a lot of balloons. Well, Torbeck once knew a guy that would call this fella highly marked him. Also, Torbeck is not. very certain that that is definitely the elder beans

of Virginia's sales. I'm like scared. I'm like backing up, but like I got a 17 on my investigation check. I'm looking around at Morgana, speak again with your new marionette friend. He can tell you a story of how he once defeated a Jabber Walk. You defeated a Jabber Walk? Before we even get to that.

Without the little Brits and without his knights. Once upon a time, just because I had this story, too, no. Once upon a time, when we're talking about someone who was so powerful, he couldn't be stopped, let me tell you the story of the three little pig is. I would love that. I love pigs. Well, let me tell you, so did the... Excuse me, what are you doing, rummaging around my room? Hey, there's very rude, man. I'm in the middle of a story.

That's not yours to touch, and she hurls a purple orb at you. You should roll a DA. Ah, God, soaps are stepped on the snake. Ah, Torbeck accidentally stepped on the snake. A, how does that hurt you? You become a mime. I'm not investigating. No, the spell didn't work properly.

I didn't make him a toy. I made him boring. More boring than he already was. Oh, why does your neck move like that? Oh, it's me, the Jabber Walk. And I'll have spent five minutes tied together in many ballooned Jabber Walk approximation if I'm able to do that with my new clown body.

Yeah. I kill your friend, the little prince, who've gone and cobbled up forever. And you shall never see him again. Kalu, Kaleo from today. Oh, my Dornation. Why would you say that? The little prince is just gone.

He's with his family. I'm just not allowed to see him because grandmother says that I can't. Oh. He's not eaten. Then we'll eat your grandmother. The struggle isn't real. What?

It's not real. He can't hurt me. Wait, what did you say? You said that thing's not real. That's what I tell myself. No, I've seen it. Is that a no, it's not real. No, it is, it's very real.

Stop it. Oh, you don't want it to be real. You don't want me to leave the tower. We'll eat your grandmother too. No, no. Kill her dead so you can be free. Kill her dead just like the three little pigs when the wolf showed up with his flame thrower.

And let me tell you, not one house made a straw, not one house made a wood, Or not one house made of whatever the hell else you could find could withstand the mighty power of the flamethrower 4,000. Turn it a mantra. The wolf, and then the wolf kicked the doors in, but he didn't even need to do it, because he had the flamethrower in hand.

And those piggies, that's all you could hear as each and every hut went up in a burst of flames. Oh, they ran. And they hid and they scurried. And they all got into one house, but that just fed the fire, and the wolf's heart's desire. And then he burned it down.

And you know where they had? Pork belly. That was pretty delicious. And that's where we'll end the story. That sounds like a woo-wow at Richard Dryfodk at that. They cooked three whole pig each time in the tradition. Between the two of you, that story was really brilliant. Your storytelling was so riveted.

I'm no longer scared about the awful things you were saying as she hurls an orb of bottle light directly out. Oh, it's not right. He's your roll a D8. Yeah, well, bacon will fix just about anything. Oh, damn. What's that, is four taken? No.

I was four. Yes, four is taken. Three? No, three is not taken. You become a potato person. from all of your limbs and facial features magically attached to you, but they also randomly fall off.

What's the big idea? Oh! Oh no, what's happened to me? Is this a real toy? This is the worst toy I've ever seen. Ignore him, little girl. If you got one of these things on Yule Tide Morning, you'd be very disappointed in old Holly King.

Let me tell you. I don't like the way you're talking to me. Why not? You're a friendly clown. Don't you like clowns, little girl? Look at me with my balloon jabberwaw. I thought him. You did this to me.

You did this to me. Another purple orbit you. And I need you to roll. Hold on. You've done that, we've done that, we've done that, we've done that, we've done that, we've done. a D3. Oh, Torbeck's now seen just about everything.

Mr. Prammy turned into a tater time. How will we bake your grandmother into a bo-h-h-ha? What do I roll? A d-3. A tachy like this. Fucking tacky mustache and a tacky hat. Is there anything a little more spiffy in that? I'm gonna try to shit out like that.

I'm gonna try to shit out like that. I guess my back flap open. Does anything come out? Yeah, you're filled. Oh, man. Plastic bowler, baby. Now we're talking, hey, we got a little pencil thin, oh, hey.

Oh, you're looking at Prado. Oh, do they have any, like, palm, slicked back, you know? Man. Oh, like the rat pack, here we go. And I put on like a, like, a black sheen comb back haircut. and I will put on whatever fine top hat that I find. Yeah, you do that. Oh, right, and that with Hawking.

I got a two on my D3. You become a princess fit for a tea party. Oh, that's so much better. Do I look like Grico? What does, what do I look like? Yeah, you look like Grico, but in like a beautiful pink princess dress. I'm Princess Goblinette.

I'm the, oh, I'm the little princess. Princess Me Gordon, shall we? For tea. Oh, let's do it for you. And she leads you over to a little tea spot where there are two seats, and she pours the fake tea and the little girl's tea set. And she provides you with what is clearly a wooden crumpet.

And she is engaging with you in this. Oh, Kalu, Kale, what a fruggeous day. A little treat for me. No, no. Don't actually drink it. It's like, no. Oh, you haven't dusted. It's not enough for drinking.

Oh, it tastes like polypropylene. It's not. Uh-oh. I don't like you either. She grows another purple orbit, y'all. Roll a D2 for me, please. Torbeck doesn't want to alarm anyone, but snake in the boot is missing.

What you're telling me it's a real fucking snake? Well, Torbeck is not sure. Torbeck has an impending sense of doom and can no longer find the snake. Is this like a trows of snake? Or is this like a cookie spaghetti kind of snake? Or is this like a real fucking venomous kind of snake? From a certain point of view,

you know what I'm saying. That's all. Oh God. As you're having this conversation, Frost is miming. As he is, as he is because, a mime. And then as this purple orb hits his chest, you watch as he begins to shrink and shrink and shrink.

His hands, which had been cat-like hands, begin to form this strange shape as his arms and shoulders become jointed, where any genitals or butt crack would be, it is now completely flat, as he, as clearly more Ghana has had Knuff. And Torbeck, and Frost becomes a 12 inch, or 11 inch plastic doll. You can talk about it.

Oh. That's very strange. Oh, I would say for the sake of this, the personality that you have, would be very, yes, would be Brett. Be very similar to when you are the Eladron. Oh. For some reason, I thought you were going a Lego direction. All right.

No, you're Ken. No, this is more fun. I love one what I wanted for my birthday because they were always so loud at the local shops. I'm so articulate. Do you have your mojo-dojo-cosa house? Well, let's find out. Can you open your ass? Oh, let's do you open your ass?

Oh, my ass is already open. I'm fucking closed it. No, I haven't closed it. My ass is open. How much can you fit in your ass, you can't potato, bad? Oh, wait, I think the snake's in there. I run over it.

I opened his ass like the truck of a fucking Volkswagen Beetle. And I fish around and I murned from the other side in a what, out there? In a Mojo Dojo Casa house. You are able to pull what looks to be Ken's dream house out of potato crummy vass. Oh, oh, hey, oh, hey. And you see that there's now this doll house there

that has everything you could possibly want, large fur coats, leather pants, necklaces, jewelry of all kinds. No, no, no, oh. No, no, perfect. And I grab what is clearly like the entire red leather suit that Eddie Murphy wore in that one time. That's incredible. I stretch it on, and I pull it out,

and my chest is all out. So what do you want to play? Not really anything, but what I'm trying to do now is just find a way to destroy the Jabberwock. Well, we're all right here, ready to back you up. How should we begin? I'm not sure, because I haven't been able to defeat the Jabberwok since the Little Prince left.

Do you know if it's got any weaknesses? Yes. Oh, any deep-seated fears or insecurities? Yes, the knights and the prince coming together as one. So we just have to work together, all right. Oh, the power of the friendships. High five. Well.

She reaches down and high fives you. The Thorbeck doesn't want to, you know, ruin the vibe here, but it certainly sounds like that it's high time we come up with a plan. with a plate. Did someone they make a pot of gravy, maybe with a little bit of fettuccine or something on the side? I feel like I just lost

38,000 pounds. Chair, no problem. I go up the two floor. Put the whole house out of my ass. Speaking of which, can you close me up? This reminds me of a story as well, but it ain't no fairy tale.

What did you do with Twig's body when he became a man. I was, I mean, it was, oh. It's like, you're back to back. Yeah, I mean, she would still be on me, I guess, unless I dramatically changed, like, so much in size that she would have fallen off. You're about the same size as her.

Oh, she would, I mean, I guess she would have just fallen off then proportionally. Yeah, she should be lying on the ground. That makes sense. So with that, with that, for that's a simplexing on the ground. I went with a change. I'm gonna turn her into splinter. With that perception check, you hear a squeal

come from Morgana as you make way to the top floor of your Mojo Dojo Casa house. Why is the kitchen up here? And as you close your ass. It's a pan with fetichini painted on her. And it's a, yes, sticker, Fedagena. What the fuck is this shit? But you hear a squeal from her

as she rushes over and grabs the twig, Marianette. and lifts it up into the sky. My twig puppet, wherever did you find her? Well, let me tell you. She's all wrong. What did you do to her? Why does she have this?

What did I do to her? Let me tell you, once upon a time. She turned into a fucking marionette. Let me, she's always, she's always been a marionette. And she reaches out and she once again begins to pull that purple magic. And you watch as she's doing,

something, she's looking intently at the twig puppet. And then you watch as the tendrils of purple connect to the face of this marionette, as she channels the magic in, you see for a moment she looks almost angry at one point. I can't believe you would ruin my toy. And then the tendrils fade. Oh better now. And as she turns her around you see that where the two roses had been in her eyes, they're now just twig's eyes. Just wouldn't. Well. About your twig dog. We have very curious.

Well, I'm curious as to where you got her from. Oh, well, it is a long story. War crimes were involved. I don't know what that means. A great massacre of rabbit stew. But she's mine, not yours. She went missing long ago. And grandmother made her for me out of the twigs

from her blue rose bushes. All right. Torbeck witnessed the whole house come out of Mr. Crumby's ass. And I, this is the most confused Torbeck has ever. I'm sorry, what? Tell me. Please just continue, little miss.

I told you, she belongs to me. She's been missing for a long time. Grandmother tried to blame the little prince, said he stole her, but I don't think that's true. She just doesn't like him. And you said that your grandmamma made this lovely doll? Yes, she made her out of the twigs

from her blue rose bushes. That's why I... My name Chip Twig. All right, fellas, what you think? We whacked grandma. Whatever you're lying, hey. Hold on. So, I'm not used to do this.

You can't talk like that. We're talking about the power of friendship. We gotta just beat the chap. Too, but grandma is keeping the poor little girl in chains, basically. I mean, she's locked in this room. She's not keeping you in chain. She's protecting me.

How long do you think you've been here? I don't know for a while now. a long time since I've had a friend. I was really excited to see the five of you and that dog show up here. What? Outsi like looks around. No, not the owl bear, that one.

Does he mean me or a bat? Do you see what she's pointing at? Is she pointing at a dog? Yeah, Outsie. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, spaghetti. My favorite. I told you to stop eating the toys.

This is so hard, not a treat. There's a make believe, don't you understand? Did you know that if you, if you think of something really hard, if you use your imagination, if you dream of something, if you focus really hard on your heart's desire, you can make it real? Wait, you mean like right now, right in this room? Just in general. Bulli jugs, bully jokes.

Knowness Briggs, Bologiags, Bologi Gives. Knowness Fudge Junds. Bollon Jules. Bollett's Bucke's. Bucke's. Buckeg. What's ever. Spudze.

It's got Moodieg. Giles. Scyl. Scyl. I think maybe it's something only I can do. Oh, wow. Well. That's part of the reason

grandmother used to get to upset is I would use my powers to create to create things with the little prince. He started to ask me to create things for him. I don't think she liked that very much. I feel like this is gonna get sad. And I walk over to the refrigerator and I pull out a tiny toy cores light.

Yeah, look it just, that raises. Like the plastic bottle. I take off my jacket and I've just got a wife beater on it. That raises an interesting quick. And quite frankly, Torbeck wants to know why, if you can do that, you don't just leave. Because I can't. You can't imagine this door just opening?

Not anymore. I'm not sure why. Oh, that is so sad. Perhaps if Grandmama died, it would have been... Stop saying that. Back to plan B, what do you think? Fellas. You like your Grandmama, even though she keeps you imprisoned in this... She's not imprisoning me. She's trying to keep me. She's trying to keep me.

safe. Well, look, let's say we were told to have it's just a simple, short conversation with your grandmother. Where would we go about finding her? Well, I guess you'd go out the door there. All right, fellas, let's go. Let's not wait, wait, wait, wait. What does she look like? Well, it really depends. Do you have a list of her fears? No. Just gently. I don't think Grand-em-Mor is afraid of anything. Oh, damn. Wow, that's pretty interesting, I suppose.

She sounds so very brave. I wish I had a grandmamma like that, or at all. I wish you had a grandmamma. It's lovely to have someone who looks out for you and takes care of you, make sure you're always okay, and that you have nice toys to play with. That is pretty nice. It's weird that you love her so much

for her keeping you captive in here. It's kind of like Stockholm syndrome, which reminds me of this other story I know about Sleep Whitaker, who was kept by her, as a female's name, I swear, and it was kept by her aunt or something, and she couldn't get away, but she still kind of liked her, and then she met a prince, and some other stuff happened, and she really liked her, but the moral of the story is she was really bad, actually,

and we had to kill her. Is that the one of the long hair? No, that's like, you know, Slee Whitaker, like, you know. Sleep Whitaker. Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? You never heard the story of Sleep Whitaker? No, I don't know what I'm doing right.

No. You never heard of the story of Sleep Winneger. Yeah. What are you talking about? What are you bringing the fucking bar and your mom never told you the story of Sleep Winnipe? Yeah, no. She was like she had three sisters, you know,

and they were making her do all the chores and, you know. Oh, I see what you're doing. Oh, that's charming. I burp loudly and throw a camera. into the kitchen floor and I go back over to the refrigerator. You go over to the toilet and there's nothing there, but you pee into the toilet. The toilet doesn't have like a concave.

No, it's just like it. It has a sticker, but. And your ear is actually you go and you fill it with water and it's the color changing plastic. You see the mountains on the side. Oh, wow, this is really rare. So we will speak to your grandmamma, and she will let you free.

You can try. I'm sure if you're, if you made it in here, that she would want to talk to you since you've spoken to me. I'm gonna be honest, as awesome as my new wardrobe is, I think that you should believe that we can. You're not wearing any pants. It's just a harshet, awesome.

Right? Yeah, that got really hot and sweaty, like real fast. Well, they were bleather. Yeah, yeah. I mean. They have no breathability. Let me see if I can find something else. No.

No. No. No. No. No. I keep doing that. I just get this rack. It's all the same item as the scroll past.

It's all frosts. It's all frost throw. Not this one, no, no. Not this one. All right, fellas, I think you go kill grandma. Let's go, and I'll take a step and I'll say, oh, fuck, I'm gonna topple over, and all of my pieces are gonna fly off,

and my eyeballs will be here, my mouth will be over here. Oh my god, Stella, this is an elder's abomination. What is that like? I can feel everything still. I'm blinking, I feel like I'm looking up, but my eyes are pointing down. I didn't know we were getting body horror. Remy, if we stuck your pieces into a tortilla,

do you think you'd still animate, like, a nightmare? And, like, you don't even want to ask all the various questions that raises? Look, just put me back together, but please don't put me in any weird configuration, like a normal potato configuration, all right, fellas, I just need them out. Let's Picasso. I just like my mouth over here, my eyes are like to put you over here.

Are there any windows in this tower? There's one window. Well, no time like the president. And Cowboy Torbeck will walk over to Crummy's eyes, pick him up and see if you can stick him out the window with a tower. You hold him out of the window and, and Cremie, you can see it from mother's right.

Oh, my God. My fucking vertigo fellow, man. Mr. Crenne, I'm going to you, potato I see. Oh, it's brinked in it. Potato chips are coming out of his mouth on the floor. Yeah, another opens up. Plastic. Do I see anything down below?

It plummets down hundreds of feet, eventually meeting the tree line. And even from here, you can tell that these trees are massive. They're some of the biggest oak trees that you've ever seen. It is hard to know how many hundreds of feet it is from this window to the forest floor. All right, Toilbeck, I hate to say this, but drop my eyes. I can see. My head's not spinning so much anymore. Maybe I can see past the trees if you drop my eyeballs down there. Oh yes, good cowboy, please, as the children say, that I'm doing.

Miss the Grammy. For real, for real, I'm going. Torbeck's just gotta make sure you're thinking straight, because once Torbeck drops her eyeballs, there's probably a good chance we're not getting them back, or some critters gonna snatch them up. You only got one set of those. I'm looking at all your pieces.

There's no other eyes here. eyes here. No, I'm pretty sure there's like an angry eyes set somewhere in this. I'll just pop those in once these are. I don't know, Mr. Crami, and as I go to pull the eyes back in, it get caught in the window, they fall out. Oh, son of God! You watch the air rushing past you as the tree line gets closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and the eyes are spinning as they're curling through the air.

Gaining momentum as they're perplexing towards the ground. They meet the tree line and the branches and twigs scratch at the wooden eyes and begin to gouge them as it takes a while before eventually the eyes plummet face down into the earth. Creming. All you see is darkness. What are your potato eyes seeing?

Actually, let me roll for it to see if they're looking up or they're looking down. It's some kind of magical darkness down here. I don't see nothing. Well, Mr. Brave Cowboy? Well, Torbeck's not sure how that's gonna work. I mean... Find me angry eyes, and, you know,

there's a big pile of shit over there, and if it's not, just check my hands. Oh, brave, sir, cowboy, please check his ass. I'm not finding any eyes. Everybody's staying back. Here we go. Hands, heads up, Mr. Cranny. Roll me over.

Nope, nope, nope. Over here. I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure. Over here. Keep, keep. Keep looking. They're definitely in there. Torbeck is no shoulder deep. You are, you serve.

They're definitely, keep searching there. You search and search and search. You do not find another pair of eyes. You remember seeing one. And it seems like everything else is accounted for. You remember seeing surprised eyes, sad eyes, happy eyes, but none of those eyes seem to be present any longer. Don't give up, Sheriff. Just keep looking.

Well, Dorebeck's looking like a face. Torbeck's looking like a fool. There ain't no eyeballs in this ass. Good effort, and my two hands are gonna like that. You know, if Torbeck wasn't Torbeck, Torbeck would be pretty pissed on that. Good thing you're not, not feeling them. Are they eyes somewhere else?

Maybe they're in this house. There's so many rooms I've yet to explore. I'm going to the only other room that I can go into. It's a living room. Oh, the two. The two. All right, well, I can't see anymore. Torbeck certainly saw at least four pairs of eyeballs,

and now they're nowhere to be seen. Can somebody put me back together, please? Even if I can't see, I can feel around, you know? Anybody? I'm putting them back together. Can you roll performance check to see how long you put it back together? I'm busy at my teapy. Well, with a plus zero, I've rolled a four.

You, the arms are a little bit too close to his back, so they're sticking out towards his back. And they're not quite, they're not quite symmetrical, so one is a little higher than the other. I can't really tell where the top. is, so I think your ears go here. You stuck both of the feet in a little too far, and so he's much more squat than he had been.

In an attempt to give him eyes, you put two of the ears where the eyes should be. You pick the largest nose that's possible. Let me borrow that mustache pen you got here. I'll get you some eyes. You vaguely remember him saying something about a mustache, so you get the largest handlebar mustache you can possibly find. Oh, geez.

Oh, geez. And a bowler hat. I don't just act as how I was. I'm gonna get around. Hey you guys. Oh, Mr. Potato. Oh yeah, that's soft. Craneum.

That's for sure. At a spino. There is something grandma seems to be worried about. She won't tell me. She just says, you cannot see that boy anymore, I mean, Morgana. You cannot see him. not see him, and you will stay in this tower, because it is where you are safe. She also told

me not to talk to my sisters, and I shouldn't say this, but she says I'm her favorite. Well, it's not nice to have favorites. I know. When it comes to children. But I have a favorite. The little prince is my favorite, and he's a child, just like I am. A quick question, Dale, little girl. Are your sister's real ugly-looking broads? Really hag-looking characters, you know? Well, I wouldn't call them ugly. They're much older than I am.

In varying degrees. One of them is almost, well, looks almost as old as grandmamma, but I don't think she is. Another is older, but not quite so old, and the other was younger, but not quite as young as I am. I'm the baby, you see. So she fell off of the ugly tower and hit every brick on the way down, say.

Color Torbeck, unsurprised. Oh, I see. To Grandmama and have her solve all of our problems for us. Well, I don't know if she will do that, though I do think that she's powerful enough to. Oh, grandmother can do so many things, and I'm learning. every single day.

She says I'm getting so strong, way stronger than she ever could imagine a girl of my age could be. I think that's why I'm her favorite. I have raw, natural talent and power, she says. Well, if you were really that powerful, I bet you couldn't turn us back, I mean. Oh, I could, but I won't.

If you want to see grandmother though, you can head through the door. Yep. She's probably in his sitting room. Ah, Torback thinks we should be hitting the old dusty, Trail, partners? What do you think? Oh, I agree. Thank you so much for the lovely tea and crumpets.

Please stop eating my wooden crumpets and she pulls a partially eaten crumpet out of your mouth. Oh, in a lovely dish from the chippy mushy peas and curry sauce. Where did that come from? And soggy chips. What was in there? In it. It's from my fridge. It's all in here. It's all the special collection of things.

Lashings of salt and vinegar. All right, little doggies, let's giddy on. All right, just, uh, towback, hold on. Just can you guide me, I can't see very, wait, what's, what's this? And I feel this like ring on your back, and I just, pull it. Somebody's poise in the water hole. What in tone makes you was that?

Oh, that's fun. I'm pulling it again. I don't remember all the things. Little Timmy's gone in the way. Shucks howdy. Shucks howdy. Shooks outy. Stop doing that.

I might die in disandering. The Torbeck didn't say anything about that. Well, allegedly, I mean, you can just be controlled to do whatever I say. They're going to blow up the water hole. We'll blow up the ocean. Well, thank you so much for the tea, for myself, and Hoopsie and all of us toys here. It was lovely meeting, my new friends. for bringing my twig back to me.

Oh no, we're taking her with us. Can't have her. She's fine. I think the thing is that she's actually not yours. She's ours. My grandmother made her for me. Well, what if she just reminds you of the thing that she made for you? Because...

And from a certain point of view? No. Not. Not. Tintines finders, cubbers, and losers weepers. Not from a certain point of view. There's a certain point of view. Seems to be a little confusion about who might own

whose toys between the little prince, between the little princess, and of course all of us. No confusion, this is my toy. All right, we tried. She looks towards you, Gideon. What are you feeling right now? I mean. Oh, uh.

Confused? Yeah, confused. Confused. Confused, exactly. Uh, uh. I don't know what the hell is going on. I don't know who's a cartliss and who's a nobody and who's a regular?

What the fuck does any of this mean? That's how I feel. That's how I feel exactly. Do you genuinely believe that Twig belongs to the five of you? No, I think Twig belongs to no man. Twig belongs to yourself. Get wrecked. Grick, I would agree.

Morgana, just like you're friends with your toys, We're friends with Twig. We need to twig to go and fight our own fights. Is it your heart's desire to keep my toy? She ain't a toy, she's a person. You know, just like Schminocchio when he was talking to Jeremy Cricket. You know, and even though that guy was a total asshole,

he helped him realize that, you know, it was a real boy all along, and that's what Twi is. is you know I mean it's toys anybody's property you can't just keep her so is it your heart's desire to leave here with twig well yeah she looks at you for a moment and you feel her eyes her pupils dilate and she stares at you this is a the way that she's looking at you is knowingly almost as if she's searching your very soul.

Oh my God. I think she's tripping out. This doesn't feel like the way a child would look at anyone. She feels almost adult-like as she stares at you. You may keep her. But you must protect her. If anything happens to twig, you will all pay the price. Do we have a deal?

She kind of protects us. But what's anything? Yes, we have a deal. Yeah, we have a deal. That sounds wonderfully. I can be convinced. On behalf of Gricko Gring, Morning Frost, Gideon, Coal,

Cremely LeCru, Hootsey, and specially Torbeck. Just Tollbeck. We sign this pact. Lovely. Then you may exit the room and go seek grandmother. Yeah, we're just collecting these deals

like we're picking up. Poses. Wasn't Jeremy Cricket the guy then? Fidgwacked. Was that Jeremy Cicada? That was Jeremy Cicada, yeah. Disting cousins. No, I just judge your moral character.

And I find you very questionable. Regina, we will protect her. She's our friend too. I hope so. Well, you have a lovely rest of your tea party and I hope you are rescued by your little prince soon. Thank you. Good night.

Have a good evening. I'm going to take a nap. I've had a long day. I'm feeling cranky. Make like a tring, get the fuck out of here. Good night, have a wonderful sleep. Sweet dreams. Sweet dreams.

It was nice meeting you. It's very sweet dreams. Keep drink safe for me. I will get around with echo location with my like six ears that are pointing out of sleep. And I will follow the gang. I will pull a, a full suit, like night suit of armor out of the closet

and I'll put it on and I'll clamp it down and I'll start to make my way out. It's made of felt. Yeah, yeah. Wait up, you guys. You make your way to the door. It's just a simple wooden door that you would see in any castle.

And you make your way towards the door and you reach for the handle and it opens easily as you step out into the hallway, and then immediately you all feel yourself tumble on top of your heads, almost as if you've been flipped, the axis of the room completely flipped, and all of you fall and slam into the ceiling of whatever this room is,

and you realize that you've all returned to your normal form. As you're trying to write yourself as you get to your feet and realize that you are very clearly walking on the ceiling, as sand begins, begins to drip down against you and you wipe it off. Where's this coming from? You look up and you realize that there is a small hole that is just pouring tendrils of sand,

but there is no room when you look up. There is curved glass and two big eyes that are looking in an old wizened face. And it moves this way and that is a beginning. to look and it taps the glass with a long, thin finger, the nails yellowed as this feminine face looks quizzically at you. And then you hear, We belong here, little ones, not yet.

No, no, no, out of my hourglass. And once again, you spin and flare as all of a sudden you realize you are inside an hourglass and it's flipping once, twice, three times before the sand begins to pour, and all of you feel the sand begin to, begin to cover you, and then pure darkness. As once again you feel flip, flip, flip, three more times, flip, flip, flip,

three more times. And with this, and with this last one, you feel yourselves moving through that tiny little narrow gully in the middle section of the hourglass and expecting to fall once again into soft sand at the bottom before being flipped again, you don't this time. As you find yourselves plummeting into a pit of darkness,

sand all around you as you just fall and fall and fall as darkness surrounds you, nothing but darkness, pure pitch, magical darkness. Eventually the sand fades away, you see nothing. It's just the five, the six of you, seven of you, if you count Twig. So Twig's still with us. She is still with you. Yeah, we took her back.

Yeah, you took her. As you fall and fall and fall, and then eventually you hear a sound that only Cremie has heard once before. The screech of a jabber walk. And then you hear the flapping of wings, but it's too dark to see anything. And then all of a sudden you see a jet of flame off in the distance. You whip up the your heads that way trying to see it, but it's pure pitch darkness here. And you hear the screech again and the flapping of wings as you look the other way. And yet again, you see another jet of flame until eventually a pulsing orb of light appears around you. From where you can't be sure as you find yourselves falling and falling and falling until finally you slow. And you feel yourself on what feels like soft forest floor. The trees all around you smell fresh. The

smells like thither, though it's hard to tell, and yet that fwop, wap of the wings can still be heard. With another piercing shriek, you hear the jabberwock somewhere behind you. You hear the sound of it sniffing, almost as if there's something on your bodies that it can smell, some new scent, some proof of where you've been. As you find yourselves back and thither, it's clear that you are not alone. As once again, from behind you, you see a jet of flame just narrowly miss your heads

as you all turn to look as the Jabberwock lands, and I need you all to roll for initiative. It is. You've got to be kidding, me. Holy smokes. Hey everybody, Chuckles here. It's time for an ad read. This podcast is brought to you by our very own Patreon.

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And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you so much. I'll see you around. And so, just for clarification as to what happened, you walked into the room, because obviously I know that was narrative, you walked into the next room, which very quickly it became clear that you were not in a home. I would say it was very clear to all of you that once again you had been living in some sort of memory or some sort of captured moment in time that you were able to affect,

and that all of this had happened inside of an hourglass that was clearly being kept by some other being, being that you are not familiar with. And this being spoke to you, realizing you were in there and told you you did not belong here. and it is with the movement of the hourglass that this entity sent you back to thither, or so it appears.

And that upon falling through the sands of time back to where you belong, that the Jabberwock caught your scent. You heard it sniffing loudly. It was very clear that something about you smelled in a way that set it scents to hunt. and that it took instant for it to find you where you are. And it is here that you find yourselves

what you believe to be the forest floor of thither with the jabber walk behind you, and we need the initiative. 20 to 25. What the fuck, Mays? Dude, you're on fire. That's five. Is it like 60?

With a natural 20. Five. That's cheese. At least four. Maybe five. I'm rolling them hard. Like hot fire. All right, let's get into some combat.

Oh boy. The Jabberwock beats its wings as it descends. And with a loud crunch, you hear the sticks of the earth break beneath its giant feet, as its long neck twists this way and that, looking at each of you individually, as it breathes in deeply and you can see its eyes, a light with rage, as it clearly smells something on you.

And it begins to, because of the nature of this combat, it does get to go first. I would be surprised around. I would say that we have a surprise condition. I don't know why I rolled a D4. I would say that's very, we are surprised. It is going to use its main ability. It will move to the side of you where, yep, right there.

And you will watch as its eyes flash with this pure white hot light as it lets out a fiery gaze. It's going to emit in 120 foot, five foot wide line from its eyes. It is going to emit fire as it just each eye, five and five, directly through all of you, except for Hootsie. I need you all to roll a dexterity saving throw, please.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh, that's where I'm a Viking, though. Oh, let's go. Natural 20. Whoa! Welcome to the party. I got a 28. 24.

Hootsie got a natural 20. Grico did not do very well. You can always use a shimmy shamble. We'll do one twist. Yep. Natural one. Thank you, chat. Ouch. Okay. That's fate.

I'll find out how low this DC goes with a 17. 17. 16. Yeah. We might be okay. We'll let it ride. I think it's 20. I think it's. I'm resistant.

Yeah, we're gonna stick me a swish smoke. This is gonna be brutal. Even half damage is gonna be like. Yeah. You take 80 points of damage. Oh, well. 38 points of damage to anyone who got 17 or less. Half if you.

Half if you succeeded. 38? How much? The DC is 17 or 18? The DC is 18, so if you got 17 or less, you fail. How much damage? 38. I'm almost dead.

And I take half if I... Yes, half if you pass. It is fire damage. Mm-hmm. Okay. That is half of my... That's brutal, man. It recharges on a five or a six.

Okay, it's not even on a six. Are you kidding me? Wow. That's more than my Mac. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, it's nice knowing y'all.

Oh boy. Wait. Where are we right now? We're in thither. On the forest floor? Yeah, you're on the forest floor. Are we surrounded by forest on all sides? And we're in like an open, clear.

You see that this line of fire has completely ignited you and that the trees on either side are scorched in flame. You watch as the leaves that came into contact with fire from the Jabberwock's eyes have turned to ash. The branches are crumbling, and just like your beard, these trees are glowing with the fiery ember. There's been significant devastation brought by the first attack by this Jabberwock. How far would you say we are from the tree line? You're in the middle of the trees. We're just like a smack dab in the middle of the trees. Oh, we're not even like a clearing? No. Just crashed through and

Oh my god. We're fucked, everybody. They're so fucked. Holy! Give it, get it, give it, give it, give it. All right, give it. Oh. I'll ignite into my flame form.

The manacles once again warring to life as the heat courses over my body and the red flame core comes to life. I will, I will, I, I will take the, oh, here goes nothing, fuck, somebody get frosty up. I'll take the key and put it, like, hold it in my hand and put the, like, the hearts, the bladed heart's edge

right in between my knuckles, and just run straight at the Jabber Walk and like start throwing punches at it, aiming like, if I can, I mean, if it's got a massive fucking neck, if I can reach it or try and hit it there, like, try and punch it with the key. This is a huge dragon. Its neck is very high up. But the way that it's moving,

it's moving its neck almost like you would expect a snake. And as it lunges forward, you notice that there are opportunities where you would be able to punch directly into the neck should you choose. All right, 22 to hit it. 22 hits. Okay, standard, standard.

I will do seven points of punching damage and six points of fire damage. The damage that you do seems to be, seems to, the attacks that you make seem to do the proper amount of damage. You punch into the neck of this creature and you do see that it pierces a bit having this key wedged between your fingers.

You see the way that the embers glow at your knuckles. The key lights up a bright orange, the heat from your Genasi body infuses the key, and you almost brand the neck of this creature. You did seven punching and how much fire? Six. Good job. You got spirit. It seems unfazed though by the actions that you're taking.

It does notice you. You see as it's leaning down as if it is going to, almost licking its lips as it is, as its head whips down towards frost. And it is clearly looking as if there is something about frost that it is drawn to. But as you rush forward and you punch into its neck, it whips its head back towards you

and it breathes in a deep breath as It lunges forward and it's going to, because it's doing a layer action. It is going to rend at you with one of its claws. Is that a legendary action? Yeah, I'm just doing legendary actions because I don't want to have to do them between everything, so I'm just doing them on the count of 20.

And it is going to make- You leave him alone, you big, dumb, ugly, bitty, bha-h. My or is. My moose to me. And yeah, it's gonna hit with a 25. This is that. What is it, the claws that what? The jaws that what?

The jaws that what? I got snatched. I forgot to snick or snack. Fuck. Oh, fuck. 19 points of 19 points of slashing damage. as it rends your flesh. And it, it, you feel its claws swipe into you, but it doesn't seem like its nails

are going for your flesh. As you feel it swipe across your entire body and you watch as one of it claws comes away and clutched in its fist is the chest piece that had been given to you by the King of Hearts. What the, hey, that's mine, give that bag. Oh, Grico. That ain't good.

I'm gonna pull out my ocarine and go, I'm on fire as a big spirit growling's gonna peer above me and start to kind of play a bongo like tune that plays Donkey Kongo like Andy does on my shoulder, on my body, as I am going to, that's my bonus action, as I am going to look down at Frosty and I will use my last third level spell slot. Oh, boy.

To cast cure wounds. Actually, yes, cast cure wounds. And I will heal. I will do that. Get up, Frosty! And I'll actually do Bongo on Frost. I'll walk out.

Boop, bo, bo, bo, bo. So I just needed. I'll roll that while someone else go. I guess I don't know if he... You have to wait because it's my turn next. Oh. I'm not cheating. I'm not cheating.

I'm not cheating. I'm just joking. So that is a... 14, 19, 22 plus. And they gotta get like a grape ape sort of thing, don't I? Yeah, you do. Oh, grape ape. Thank you.

Where's my fucking chalice? There it is. Oh, 198. And you double it, don't you? Do you cast it on a second target? Oh, you know, it's basically, so what was it? I suppose that it was 14. You were 27 and 23.

20, I was it 21? 23 and then an additional additional Six. So 29. 29 points of yield. Damn. That's it. That's a lot of healing frost.

Real wild and has a third level spells fall. Which everyone had dealt 38 points of it. It was its big dragon breath. I mean. Weirdful. I briefly lose consciousness, the concussive force of the dragon's breath hitting me, igniting me, and then I'd stop drop and roll

only by the pure merit of the fact that I fell unconscious and hit the ground and just went out with the remaining pets of Grico, and I wake up in the cacophony of all of the battle. Hearing you scream, hearing everyone else start to charge in or do whatever it is that they're doing, Frost is lost in the chaos before, for a moment. His eyes go white. And just out of sheer feelings of protection

and sheer feelings of the, the fear and the danger that this Jabberwock represents. The terror pushes Frost Mine into a state of flow. I'm not thinking consciously about making this choice. Instead, this ionic energy just flows through me. And a orb, a sphere of sorts, a circle, shows up and surrounds us. I will cast magic circle.

That's my third level spell. I will choose a fay creature, which means that fake creatures, they pass a charisma saving throw, can't pass inside of the circle that I choose surrounding all of my allies. Wow. Oh my God.

And I'm hoping that it's Faye, because that's the choice that I'm making. But if it can, it still has a disadvantage on attack rolls against targets within the cylinder. We can't be charmed, frightened, or possessed by that creature. And it,

It's a 10 foot by 10 foot radius, so I'm just gonna put it all right here and just protect everyone as I push out with my mind, attempting to shield myself and everyone from the Jabber Walk. Holy shit, pulling down right trigger. And I'll stand. There's a quick time of it. What's happening and I'm pushing out with my mind?

You can see the force. I'm almost in two places at once. Bad ass. Oh. The Jabber Walk moves forward. it moves slowly. It's almost as if time slows down as it creeps closer and closer. And who is directly in front of it?

I give you. Me. Once again, its head whips this way or that. It breathes you in, and its head witched towards who's the next behind? Cross and frost, yeah. Is one of them within 15 feet? I am.

No. Yeah, both of them are. No, they're just outside. 15.15. He's here. He's here. He's here. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. He is going to take one of his claws, and looking down at you, he is going to rend you, Gideon. He has to make a charisma saving throw if he's a fake creature. So he's going to rend Gideon. This is very clearly a huge dragon, huge dragon type creature. You feel its claws rend into you with a 23, and you're going to take, I have to separate these ones, I don't have to keep getting them.

I just look at the visual, but just pushing through the circle and not giving a single fuck with this giant fucking wide eyes. Like ripples. 22 points of damage as its claws once again pierce into you. How are you looking? Gas, run. As I slump to the ground.

It is going to look down at you, and it is going to step forward on top of your body and get face to face with Cremie as it is going to reach down and make a rend attack on Cremie. Do I have to roll a death save for that? No. Oh. And with a...

With a, sorry, no, no, no, no. 17? Yeah, I'm sure that is. With a 17, it is going to rend you doing 2500. 23 points of slashing damage. It is then you watch as its tail whips up and slams down on Gideon's dead body,

piercing into it with the very tip. Dead body or just like, unconscious body? Unconscious body. For now. Advantage. So it is, breathing for now. This is very bad. Oh, it hits me, is this take?

20. Yeah, it's all a crit. Which is a crit, so two deaths saves. Oh, do I roll them? Or is just automatic? Just two automatic fails. You know, we'll see around, buddy. And that is its turn.

Brumming. This is bad. This is extremely bad. I don't have any way to get him up. I don't think. Oh, no. Nor is Tor. Nor is Tor.

Oh, thank you, Derek. Yeah. Oh my God, what do I do? What do I do? I'm guessing he did you opportunity tax. What about the power of friendship? Was that supposed to work? How's this thing looking?

Best friends would. He has taken a total of like 13 damage. He's taking 13 damage. He's got a scratch in his neck. Mm-hmm. Agitated, slightly annoyed. I'm gonna be like totally slashed and burnt and barely hanging on.

You know, say, well, Barron, might be coming to see you sooner rather than later, but fucking give me some help here, and you'll hear this sort of ominous jazz play as the shadows will whip and take form with neon sort of glyphs that appear over me. I'll take my form of dread as my own shadow sort of like shimmers behind me.

And I will take my cane and you'll sort of hear a faint kind of laugh from the crystal skull on the end of my cane as I sort of touch it towards the skin of this dragon creature. And I will cast inflict wounds. Nice. Which is, bum bum bum bum bum bum, bum,

it's a melee spell attack. That's a yore near die. I need to use a cremie dye. I think. Where? To your right, to your right, to your right. Oh, right here, thank you. What do you think?

In 17 hits? That's gonna be, no. Can I twist? What kind of save is it? It's just an attack. Oh, you might be okay. Let me try. Oh, that's a 19.

Better. 19 hits. Let's go. Oh. It is going to be 5D10. One, two, four, I should be prepared for this, too. Three.

Oh, that's pretty bad. 9, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. 24 points of necrotic damage as, you'll see these sort of almost like greenish-blue soul, like this necrotic death magic it pulled from the creature. They're not doing a whole lot. You watch as the necrotic magic is pulled

from the face of this creature. You see what appears to be little gasping skulls in a swirl of this neon light. As they're pulled out of this Jabberwock and you see its eyes sink in just a little bit as the necrotic damage takes place, but it quickly whips its head this way and that and it seems to be in fighting.

health. And for my movement, I'm going to come and try to stand between me and Gideon. If I, like, you know, if he's here and I'll just get next to him. He's on top of Gideon. Okay. Well, I'll be... I'll try to like, you know, try to like get in the way a little bit and I'll just say, come give me, you big bitch. And that's my turn. Torbeck. Torbeck is singed. He smells like burnt hair and burning trash. Yeah. Torbeck does not want to fight. Baked beans. Would we have all seen

the pawn gets stolen? Or did we not miss that? Roll a perception. Check at disadvantage because of what's happening. Sure. Very fair. Not good. That's gonna be an 11. No, you wouldn't.

Regardless, Torbeck, you said we get the sense that it's hunting us for some reason. It's smelling something. It's very clear that something that it's smelling on you has caused it to go into a hunting frenzy. Torbeck will wait and leave his hands over his head and say, no, no, stop!

We don't want to find, look! And go into his pouch and pull out a small hourglass with no sand in it from the little trinkets that we got from the pile of stuff after we perished Agden. Look, look, it's just like where we came from. Take it as a gift, leave us alone! Get in.

His entire turn. I need to roll death saving though for me, please. Everyone else, close your eyes. Oh, shit. We're doing icebound rules for this. I love icebound rules. I don't know, Chad, you're there. Okay, but yeah.

Okay, thank you. The Jabberwock sees you do this tour back and it whips its head this way or that, as it reaches down and attempts to rend Kremi. With a 21. 21 points of damage. Well, if we're doing icebound rules and if I'm within five feet of Gideon, do I see his status?

Yes. Close your eyes. Got it. I was like a jam. I'm not really chat. Don't read chat. Yeah. So I, as whatever, is he clawing me?

He is, he is running you, he's reaching down with the claw, and he is slicing through you. And similarly with Gideon, you feel the claws rend your flesh and almost as if they're looking for something as he breathes in deeply smelling something on you. He actually pierces his claws deep into you, holding onto your person from inside of your body. I will look down at Gideon,

sort of Riley's smile when I'll say the jigs up as I get slashed and knock them back. Oh, Grico. I will, oh God, I didn't know what was my turn. I am going to, Gideon looks really bad. He looks very bad. I'm going to look at him and I will say, and I am going to cast Healing Word,

my last spell salon. Second level. One V8, four us two before. I'll use another before. Oh God, I've lost it. I'm gonna grab it before my face. I'm going full monkey mode here. Oh God, three plus 10, 13 plus five is 18 points of healing beginning.

You call out and you almost visualize the notes, the words forming healing magic as they collide with Gideon's chest. You watch his body bump, bump, bump, with every bit of healing that you pump into your friend. But his skin remains sallow, his eyes sunken in. You can see that the bones of his torso have been smashed beneath the huge haunches of this beast.

And his chest does not rise or fall with breath. There is no motion from Gideon at all. Okay. I don't know what actions I can't tell you. Now that I can use a spell. You can wild shape. You can show your hands.

Yeah, just turn into a cat. Turn to a boergove. I am going to look at Hootsie. I'm gonna like, my face is gonna drop and I'm gonna look at Hootsie, I'm gonna say, run, now Hootsie, I'll catch up with you. And I'm going to cast the help action on Hootsie. to then get her to run away as quickly as possible.

I'm gonna cry. I'm getting a little misty eye. This is awful. Oh, get up, don't worry, Hootsie! I'll stop the Big Ben Dragon, don't worry! Don't worry, Hootsey! And she'll look and she'll stop, and then I'll just, I'll look at her and look so serious.

She'll just stop and just nod, and then, like, she'll stop, like, and then she'll just turn in his bolt. Yes, move! Stop light. That's my turn. That's my turn. Oh, fuck. I promised.

I'm gonna try to, I'm gonna do it towards crime. Well, I'm not, I'm gonna look at crammy. Thank you. I see how grim things have gotten around me. I am searching for a solution, some way to solve the problem. And I am trying to turn the key of my own mind, to unlock each of the tumblers. I'm thinking back to our experience,

in Bavarna's hut. And I'm thinking back to the experience that we just had with Morgana, and I'm trying to put the puzzle pieces together. Seeing the Jabberwock's behavior scenting and searching, is it possible for me to deduce that there's an object on my person specifically

that I need to get rid of it or destroy? Roll an intelligence check at disadvantage because you're in the heat of battle and you just witnessed your friends fall. Mm-hmm. That's fair. Yeah, that is fair. 19.

I'm going to dread you. Oh. You get one more roll. Deliciously beautiful. I want higher than 14. How is it, what is it? 12. You can tell it's definitely looking for something,

but your mind does not come to the thought of a thing. You imagine that it is a creature, it is a creature that hunts and you are large. large and live and the perfect meal for a creature of this size. Sorry, one minute. I will, I guess I will. You have 30 seconds to make a choice. Yep, I will bonus action, teleport.

I will jump over to my friends, Cremie and Gideon. I will just vanish and continue to search my mind, trying to think of something, anything, I will yell out. There's no reason to attack us, please. We mean you no harm. You've defeated us. Run.

Please, stop what you're doing. I'm on the verge of tears. I'm just putting my hands over trying to protect my two friends. And even with my action, I'll have my mage hand out. It's putting up its hands. Maybe it can see that. Just begging and helpless. creature still has its claw in Cremie's body. It is going to rend Cremie yet again.

It has advantage. Oh, yes, you're right. It does. It's not an, it's not an 90-20, but it is going to be a 23. That's still a crack. I don't need to do the damage. That's two failed saves. It is going to, with the, um, its claws embedded into your torso. It is going to reach forward. Who is the Yornear Mini? Torbeck. It is going to reach towards Torbeck and with Kremi's body still attached. It is going to rend you with its claws and your friend. And that is going to be a 26 to hit. Just misses. Now that is. What's your ace? Seventy. Oh okay. I was just

good. 20 points of damage. That is both of its that is both of its rend attacks. It rented crummy, it rendered you. And it is going to, with its tail attack, it is going to, yeah, it is going to whip around and hit frost with its tail. 24. I'll count it.

I rolled the percentile die. 10 points of bludgeoning damage as it whips you with its tail. and I have to roll. I need to find a good B-20 here. Cremie, I need you, and everyone close your eyes. I need you make a death saving throw.

Good luck, brother. May I all open your eyes. Torbeck. Heavily bleeding, covered in Crummy's blood, tears streaming down Torbeck's face. Torbuck will be hitting himself. Why won't you come out? Where are you?

And Torbeck will use his action to throw himself at the Jabber Walk and attempt to bite this creature while screaming about all of his friends and tears streaming down his face. I'll try to make two attack. Okay. A 14 and a 23. Let's twist the 14. I'll twist the 14. One more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more. That would be two 23s to do.

Both of those fights. Seven, 17 total points of damage over two attacks. You are up close to this creature as you do this, but your eyes are clouded by the tears that you have no control over as they spill out of you. You see Kremi's body as it hangs unconscious next to you. You see the blood pouring from his wounds. You reach out and attempt to wound this creature. And as you do wound it, but you see that the wounds that had happened to it previously, are beginning to close up.

But you are able to do a bit of damage. Fuck. That's my turn. Oh, it has troll powers. Gideon, okay? It's its layer action. It is going to look down at you, Torbeck, and you see it breathe in yet again.

Is its head turns this way or that? Is it searching you, its head circles all around is it breathes in the scent of you, and it is going to make a rend attack on you. I'm gonna use a dread. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 20. Yep.

And it is going to do, maybe he's die. Ooh, 28 points of damage. After latching onto this thing with Torbeck's teeth, the Jabberwock easily grips Torbeck, rips him from his body, and throws his unconscious body on the ground. Torbeck is sent. And as your body flies to the ground,

you see those of you that are still conscious that there are now two pawns in its hand. A matting of Torbeck's fur and one of these pawns. Oh, lads, we gotta get out of here. That was-Grick-O, your turn. Not yet. I got more spells. What does Grico do?

I know what I would do. I weren't Grico. Fleen. I would like to... Do I need to get to Crev... I am going to do exactly that. You have wild shape, right? Is where I'm going to look at Gideon, get down,

and I'm going to see Torbuck fall. I'm going to see Cremmy fall. I'm going to see that it's just me and Frosty alive. And I'll look and I'll see that Hootsie's running away. And I'll say, keep going, Hurtsey! We'll stop it, don't worry. I'll get up to you. And I'm going to look at Frost.

I'm to say, Just like old times, Frosty. As I am going to, the eight great eight is going to disappear behind me. As I'm going to play a little tune on my ocarina as I'll turn into a spectral, like this great stag beats with two sets of antlers. As I am going to gallop. It turns its head towards you. and it begins to burble.

Are you within 30 feet of it? Yeah. As the Jabberwock burbles, I need you to roll a D6 for me, please. Or I'm sorry, a D4. I'm going to attempt to run and scoop up frost as a, as a, as a one. You do nothing. You are the burbling.

Well, first I need you to make a Christmas saving throw. I fail. You hear. hear the burbling and this sound is unlike anything that you've ever heard before. As your body begins to shape and twist using the druidic magic, you look towards who's who's see as she's running off towards the forest.

The burbling will not stop happening in your ears and it gets louder and louder. You turn to look towards the same thing and you see this sack on the underside of its neck as it's pulsing and throbbing as it's creating this unholy noise and you feel yourself unable to move unable to do anything at all.

I will. That is your turn. I'll start to play. I'm coming for, that's it. I'm screaming from the elder's burbling. It's used confusing verbal as a reaction. Yeah, well, it's we're back burble in the pants.

They say you do that, but you can go down. I'll, um... It's all ogre boys. I see. I see. I see that Grico is the only one, and that he is being affected by this strange speech of this beast. Looking around, I suspect everyone is dying or dead. In shock, I would just look up, pull my pack off and throw it in its entirety.

Just let it explode on the side of the body's, the Jabberwock's body. And this is the end. None of this made any sense. You've... You've killed all of us. There's nothing left. And that's what you do? I'll fall to my news.

Can I see how far away is Hootzee? Okay, okay. Too far. Hold on, grab this. This is... Let's war game this. Hootzie's far. She's like 21 inches.

times five feet. What is that? Less than 120. Yeah, 105. The Jabberwock steps back, and you watches its eyes ignite with that same white light. Oh my God. And it lets loose two lasers of flame,

one straight towards Hootsie, the other, straight through all of those bodies there. Oh. I need... That's how far she is. I need Grico and Huxieckos. Hootsie to make a dexterity saving throw. Okay.

I assume I automatically fail when you got a text check. Yeah. Shut. I got a natural 20 on my dex check. Dren. Yeah. Not so nice. Oh?

No, it's still not good enough. Damn. 15. No. No. Do I just take one death saving throw? You take one death save. Correct.

One fail. When do you take two? When you get hit, up with a mainland attack. Oh, it's a whole kind of crick. Lucy gets a natural one. Oh, boy. So it's, crits give you two and a man. Ew!

How much helps with Hootzie hand? This is very bad. 39 points of fire damage. Yes, 39 points. I fall. I get, I'm trying to play as I see its eyes look up, and I look and I see that it's turned towards Hootsie.

I try to turn, as I get blasted. I'm imagining it's one of those anime beans where it goes z-z-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. Yep, exactly right, exactly right. And then Hootsie's HP is 39. Oh, yeah, she's down. She's down from the damage. Hoo-hoo!

Hoo-hoo! No! This is the most fucked-up thing that's ever had on this channel. You don't see what happens to Hootsie, but you can hear it. Those of you that are are still conscious. On your shit. Frost.

As this thing lets out two more lines at flame and you watch as Bricko crumbles, embers crackling in his hair and on his clothes, Torbeck's fur billowing smoke as the fire catches and begins to burn through the hair that coats his body. We watch all of this. as the Jabberwock turns and uses its foot to grasp Gideon's lifeless body and kicks it, hurling it against a tree, impaling him on a branch that sticks out from the foliage that has been burned

from the bow. You watch as he steps down and still having still having Cremie attached to one of his claws, he steps. down you can hear the crunch of bone as parts of crummy's bone becomes exposed. You watch as he has no disregard whatsoever for the people you care about, the people that you love, as he slowly tramples your friends as he turns to face you and lets in a deep and turns his head towards you.

as he continues to search. Cremie, Torbeck, everyone close your eyes. You may all open your eyes. It is his lair action. I need the map again, sorry Rich. Is Torbeck within 15 feet? Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

He is going to reach out with his, with one of his arms and he is going to rend Torbeck at advantage. because Torbeck is down. It's a 21 to hit. Yeah, it's gonna do it. Team for the dive. It's a melee attack, right?

Yeah, it's. 21 points of damage? Yeah, it's. Or I don't know why I did the damage. No secret at this point. You know he's got three saves. As you, once again, he digs his claws deep into Torbeck, and with the same hand, he comes down,

and he's going to attempt to rend you fast. 28 to hit. Godspeed, fellas. I'll see you in Val Hell. I wonder what hell's gonna look close on. Yeah, or just hell. 19 points of slashing damage. Are you still standing?

Yep. He is then going to look towards you and he is going to... No, I'm sorry. I'm out. Having rendered you, you are all unconscious. None of you see this. as he picks you up and looks at you, twisting you in his claws before his tail comes up and pierces straight through your abdomen,

doing hitting with the 25, and doing two failed death saves. I need you to roll. Should we all close your eyes at this point? I mean, you're all dead, so it doesn't matter. I'm gonna watch. Success. He's hanging in there. He, it is then his turn.

he is going to take both of his claws and he is going to attempt to rip you into. He did not crit, but he did hit for both of them. As your body falls limp, he tosses you to the ground. He moves between all of you, slowly, sniffing, searching, hunting. As he rips parts of your body from your clothes, as you, bits of you are scattered around the forest floor is eventually he has one, two, three, four, five pawns

in his hand. Oh, snap. He looks around and continues to sniff, and you can't see this in death. But you're still, well, roll a death saving throw. There's physically no way for you to survive this. So he's gonna do, He's gonna do all three of his Hidsomio.

I made it, oh, oh, oh, oh. Succeed. So yes, you are dead. He is, he stands atop the mound of your gnarled bodies. And he breathes in for the last time, almost a look of triumph as he clutches on to the five chest pieces that he holds in his hand. And then his haunches lower,

and he propels himself up into the air. With the sound of flapping wings, he alights into the prismar sky. And that is where we'll end the session. Oh. Oh, and the campaign. Yeah, I think you miss both. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I gotta roll for who team I wake up and serve?

Okay, that's a fail. Oh, no, it's, because it's a con save, right? No, you don't add anything to it. Oh, that's right. It's just flat. That's a fail. Success. Fail.

That's it. No. No. No. This was one. Two and one. Success. Two and two.

Don't make me say it. You can't dread death saving thrills. That's not what I need to say. There's exactly a 10. And if that were the case, the Jabberwock would turn its head and once again rend the forest with lines of fire pushed straight from its eyes.

And what had already been one painful death is now too. And that is a role in the session. Holy shit. Nice for running the session, Nikki. You're welcome. That's fun. I think.

Yeah, yeah, this is traditional. Do you want to do the honors? It's traditional. The DM tears the character sheet in half. Oh, I thought that afterwards I was just going to get to punch you in the face. Well, you can do that as well, but if you'd like to start with this. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Adventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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