Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 5 | Big Top Bop

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

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Oh, hello, everyone! Welcome to Legends of Aventress! My name is Grico Grimgrin, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. I mean, I shouldn't say this, but it's not nearly as bad as what happened over at the Hall of Illusions. That poor mime. Because if we take care of this Cancou problem for you, is there some kind of genuine reward? I mean, you could ask Mr. Witch and Mr. Lay, but I don't know if you can even get an audience with them. the corn maze, there appears to be no person taking tickets as you are able to make your way in

if you so choose. Very center, there is a scarecrow that seems to be significantly larger than the ones that you've seen elsewhere. Its arms are pointing to the left and to the right. You begin to grow a pair of breasts. Really, really nice large breasts. Oh, no. Oh, after I'm done with him, he's going to be pointing in free direction.

I think we go to the Hall of Lusians. I'll think so too. We got a deal with that. It's the, we'll find clues, and soon they'll be saying, Kanku, more like Kanku. You stare at yourselves, your skin wrinkled, your hair gray, your body's hunched. Can we just go to Bingo?

Oh, leopard deers are on. We should move on at this point. I feel like this bit is gonna run. Oh, it's funny old. Just staring into the mirror is the, He is the halfling man that you saw run in here. And it sounds like he's talking to someone. The hourglass coven has a place for you.

Step back, sir. You're in great danger. They can't help you. Only we can. You find yourself standing in the Hall of Illusions. You have just witnessed this halfling man that you know had been turned down recently outside of the Hall of Illusions due to the partner he was with,

succumbing to a Tasha's hideous laughter spell, you watched him run into the Hall of Illusions, completely heartbroken at the fact that this woman that he loved so much would burst into laughter at the idea of tying herself to him for the rest of their lives. And as you make your way through the Hall of Illusions, you end up finding him at the very end of one of the halls, staring into a mirror, reflected in it the figure of a small,

almost childlike entity wearing the mask of a pig as she calls out to him that all of his problems can be solved if he just takes her hand you you call out to him you try to get his attention you try to get him to believe in you why are you laughing you're thinking about that fucking pig right now she came out of the pig mask in my head I was like kind of sucks to see what Mix is laugh. I also posted to a TikTok story as well. Do you know? Just get it out, Mace.

I'm back in. Are you back in? Am I allowed to say the word pig at any point during this session? I'm picturing Waddles. That's what the villain looks like to me now. Are you all right? There's a mirror, there's a half-length.

She was calling out to him to take her hand and to join her that all his problems can be solved if he just follows her into the mirror. And against your wishes, he does. And it is here that we begin. It is mostly quiet in this long haul, the mirrors that line it reflecting the image of you at your current age. They're twisted and warped. But it's you all the same as the sound of the wedding band clings and clangs on the

on the floor right in front of the mirror. Oh, yeah. There is no longer the reflection of that, that pig-headed girl. There's no longer a reflection of the small half-ling man. It's just you. That fella's doomed, but I tried.

Yeah, you really did. I, like, kind of went old, and I sort of, you know, jawed for half a step. Oh, was that you? You kind of, you stepped like a half-step, and you kind of said, oh. I said, yeah, I tried me I tried, but he even listened.

That's maximum effort from Grimmy. By trying to quickly convey that the partner had been under the effects of the spell, but he didn't hear me. Yeah, he was real tied up with that pig. I mean, you know, I've been in a similar situation. Once you got your mindset on glorious power and potentially never-ending life, you know, it's hard to convince a fella. So I don't blame him, I guess. And maybe even if it was a spell, he had just been enticed. He had been seduced by that lovely, handsome, big woman.

I'm going to walk up, and while the other talking, I'm going to reach down and pick up the ring. You do that. It is a small golden circlet. It appears to be not shoddily made, but you can tell that it's not how. highest quality, but you do see that along the inside rim, there are words etched there. What languages do you speak? That's a great question. I know it's going to be common. In addition, I'm also.

Thank you. Thank you. Celestial and Elvith. Oh, that's lovely. It isn't a language that you're not familiar with. Mm. Mm. Language of you.

Yeah. I seem guys should hold onto this and perhaps if we run into his partner again, I'll be able to give it to her for safe keeping. I suppose that's true. I mean, after all, why shouldn't you keep it? No, I'll give it back to her. Oh, why shouldn't you keep it? Because it's not mine.

It's the treasure that a romance for his beloved. I think she's like in the infirmary. As I understand it, the ring was already offered to her, and she declined in a fit of laughter. And I think in the back of her mind, she'd be aware that she offended her partner, and we're going to have to pass on the bad news that he has gone into some sort of mirror dimension.

And likely dead. Very possibly dead. Yeah. Or worse. Everyone I've ever seen go the way of the pig is not coming back. That's true. Tell me more about this way of the pig.

Is that how they get to the farm? They go to a spooky mirror like that? Wait, we didn't have to take him through the mirror, did we? No, he just, you know, he just drives the wagon up to the, you know, to that sketchy farm where you give him, the gold piece and they look the other way. Oh, and the cut in that way, and you came back, it was a butcher shop,

and you came back with a sord of elk every time? Well, it wasn't identified as a butcher shop, but one could say that that happens there. Oh, it's so excited for elk nod every time. Coming back with a sord of elk, that means that you fetched someone from the pipsies time. This is what it looked like. Just for context.

Oh. So it like it, it's a key. A big lollipop like that? Oh, my God. Well, that's a nightmare. Nice. Yeah. So you, I mean, I'm curious to learn more about the process of you guys getting rid of dead bodies,

but we have an interesting mystery on our hands here. Do you think that perhaps this is the portal to Prismere? I guess it's what we came here to find out. Should we try and see, you know, maybe like wave a hand into it and see if we... I don't know. Did I do that last time? I can't remember, but I'm not. Oh, no. We said, and then suddenly just stop for us.

Before you attempt to do that, I need to center myself. I thought that there wouldn't be much risk today, but I'm going to increase my ability to defend myself, should there be combat. I'll focus for but a moment. My robe will glow just a little bit brighter, 10 lumens, and I'll cast major on myself. Thank you for specifying the lumens.

Yeah, 10 nits. Oh, look at all those lumens. At least, no, maybe eight or nine of them. Probably 10. All right. All right, well, then since you just do that fancy, you know, whatever you just did, would you like to do it then? Do the honors?

Oh, yeah, Frosty. You let us into that lovely maze. Oh, I did all the work. For them. Oh, Mr. Scared Crow. No one else wanted to put in your elbow. grease into it. For some reason, the DNA beyond doesn't want to acknowledge my new AC.

And I will spend the beans to do that, which I think is first level. So one bean? Yes, I'd be happy to give this a try. I'll reach out and press my palm. Roll an archa check. Oh, before I press the palm? No. As you press your palm.

As I press the palm. I like to, as he's reaching out to it, I'd like to just like, behind the mirror, like a good. Oh. Oh. The mirror is attached to the wall. There's no behind. That's what I figured.

Oh, I pictured it kind of like a, you know, like a Harry Potter situation. Oh, like there's sitting in a dressing like a personal corners instead of a house of horrors. It's a house of illusions. I don't know. Something sitting in the dead sound of a room

you get to, somebody gets sucked in, but I don't big. Nice and central here. Focal point of the room. Yeah, no, it's at the very end. in the hallway? Yeah, that's what I was envisioning. Oh.

12. Wow, that's a really high roll, so it gets you nothing. You press your hand in. I love the end. Get a blittery. You brush your hand into the mirror, and it gives a little bit at first. It feels like there's some, not, how do I explain this?

Almost like it's water for a second, but then it firms up very quickly, and it is clearly just a glass mirror. Well, I can't seem to press through. A portal is closed. If it is the entrance to Prismere, then we either need to do something or have some sort of spell or perhaps break the mirror, or perhaps it's just part of this hall of illusions, and this is nothing to do with our ultimate quest. I like you one idea and I take out two hands just wrap your fist before you do it you're like slats and art

I don't feel comfortable breaking property I was at the last resort I've seen so much blood on your knuckles and it's usually somebody oses oh wait hold on is anyone I have those rules oh yeah no no no yes the rules of hospitality

oh no tasees the rule of reciprocity Equal or lesser value. Yes. I'll forget the other one. My point is, is there's some kind of like fairy law against breaking property, even if we're trying to save a four

defenseless halfling. That is an interesting moral conundrum. It does seem to create a conundrum between the rule of ownership and the rule of reciprocity. Don't we know? No. Mr. Witch and Mr. Light do own it, but they just didn't always own it.

So we'd still be breaking and vandalizing their property. Let's inform someone, and perhaps they'll give us the permission to break it, and then we can come back here and you can fist the mirror all you like. Oh, sounds like a good time. I'll take my handkerchiefs back. Okay, well, okay. What do you think? I always preferred old Milrods to houses of illusions.

Carry on. This has not been very fun so far. But do you think we can go to someone of authority around here and get deputized? Perhaps we can talk to the bugbear friend that you said hello to. Oh, Jerry! Just a few...

No, we're going to meet the gullas and share a tuna fish sandwich. It's true. We're going to do that. Could he preordain us to commit violence? of various kinds. I actually don't remember what Jerry did. I don't even know if his name was Jerry. His name definitely wasn't Jerry.

Fuck! Roll an intelligence check. I was calling Colin apparently. Reynolds for three years and nobody corrected me. I failed terribly. I'm going to put money on the fact that you actually don't remember his name and you're just making this up the whole time. eight.

Yeah, you, you know his name isn't Jerry, but it's something close. So it's good enough, and he responds to it. And you're pretty sure that he was, he slung the manure outside of the big top. Oh, oh no, Jerry's job. He was the, uh, he was the dung slinger. Oh, that was eight years ago.

It was eight years ago. It was a long time. Oh, maybe he's moved up in the world. Perhaps he's, maybe he's running the dung show this time. Anyway, I feel like we've really witnessed a very tragic thing, but I don't know what's befallen, our young friend. Cremant, what do you think? This is your bag, right? Are you, is Jerry the young friend you're talking about?

Oh, no. The young man ran off without asking. Like, oh, hey, sweetie snookums, maybe. What's up? I mean, I could take a look, I guess. Why are you laughing? He did it, but I mean. On a land of strange charms and magics, perhaps I should just check before I wrote.

and often join a horrible witch through a mirror. You know? I'm not going to be the only one to say it. We don't know what kind of creature that was. It was some sort of entity. It didn't seem like a witch or a hag or anything. They may have problems, you know. You don't know what's going on in their lives.

No, no. I'm just saying. I feel like, you know, you need to stop and communicate. Well, let me take a look with us. Yeah. I have a keener eye than frost those. Let me see. I'm going to touch the.

mirror and kind of get a sense. Roll an Arcana check. I fail horribly. Oh, that's not bad. I think that's a 17. Ooh, 17. You place your hands on the mirror, and it is fully firm. It just feels like a mirror.

There's no movement to it. What Frost described, that strange, almost like, watery motion to it the moment he had touched it. You don't feel that at all. But you do sense a magical hum, and it is akin to teleportation magics. Hold up. I'm getting

a little something. Oh, this is a magic mirror. Oh, is it me ma'amor's a tufei? What? You said you're getting a little taste of something and you're normally like, hot dog, it's like me ma'am, just like how memo used to make. Oh, like me high on a grasshop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's like a sack of corn bone, or what is you're always saying? It's just a magic, dude. It was a magic duo. You didn't sense that? I guess, you know. No, I felt a little something, but you seem to taste the magic in the air. Um, I mean, I can just kind of feel it.

You know what I mean? If you were attuned to the arcane powers of the world, which I guess, you know, style's a little different. Yeah, and only vaguely familiar with the arcane balance. Yeah, so I can just kind of sense it. So the point is, is that the magic wasn't. from the pig girl it was from the mirror itself. So if we find some way to like flip a switch and turn this bag on, maybe we go right through.

Maybe throw the ring at it. Ooh. No. Well, we're going to start looking around the room and see if there's levers or things to look behind or trick. Some blade. It's sort of like pat down the room. Sure. Roll an investigation check. Large stone block like push puzzles. Yeah. I'm hoping for one of those two.

Sumerator style ones where we have to push the blocks into exactly the right corners. Oh look, it's a priceless discovery. We have to grab the handles and pull it out and then move it to the pressure plate. Exactly correct. Let me refresh D&D Beyond because of being a little goofy. It's offended by your Ninja Turtle costume.

Come on D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond. Hi, everybody! With D&D Beyond! You can stumble around for five minutes to make a simple miller-ichita. You'll be just as unprepared for your turn as you wear with pencil

and paper. But hey, at least there will be fewer and gray smudges all over the place, you know? You don't have to buy erasers. There's no pencil sharpness.

What an improvement, folks. Okay, so you, what was your My investigation on was 16. Oh, that's, yeah, that's pretty good. It wasn't good enough. So, no, I'm just kidding. With that, nothing happens. Everybody stole my briefcase.

No, 16 is really good. You look around the room, you see that all of the mirrors along the hallway are firmly attached to the wall. There's a little bit of space between them, clearly where you can see that there is space between the wall and the mirror itself. when you look along the edges of the mirror at the very end, the one that Cremie believes to have the teleportation magics,

it is affixed to the wall, but completely solidly affixed to the wall. There is no space between the wall and the mirror itself. It's not bolted on the way the other ones are. I could pass my hand from the wall to the mirror, and I'd feel no groove. You'd feel no groove. Well, we're not going to get behind the mirror, and there doesn't seem to be any lever or a button

Should we let Mr. Witch and Mr. Light or both or one or the other know that there's some trickery afoot? I think if we talk to them, we should at least mention the mirror. I doubt that they're the ones that would really care about this. They just own the carnival. I mean, I'm sure they got, you know,

carnies that deal with this. Right? Maybe they're the ones that could deputize us, you know? We can come back, we can break a couple mirrors. I like that. this one, we could find that, you know, weird bird thing that's killing dwarves or at least bashing their heads in,

you know, and then... Oh, did you imagine it? Us on the side of the... I don't know, upholding the law? Yeah, don't even speak such a thing. I mean, what if he knows a guy that knows a guy, they're all in law enforcement? I mean, they might have run... You know, had a run

with us from years past. It's a little risky. What kind of colonies do they get here? Is it mostly locals or are they from all over the place? Oh, I mean, it's from all over the place, and, you know, they know all sorts of people. There was one fellow who came in, he was from a mercenary company, and he said it was just, you know, he was just kind of keeping an eye on things here. He seemed like a real good lad. Fucking Pinkerton's, I knew it.

Wait, what? How did you know his name? Oh, his name was Pinkerton? Yeah. Oh, shit. No, no, no. If it's Pinkerton, if it's the same pinker than I'm thinking of, not a chance. What are the chances, though?

He's always talking about his big family. Anyways. All right, Frost, so you're saying we just leave here and we go tell somebody. We're almost certainly holding up the line if there's anywhere to hide in here. If there is anywhere to hide in here, I would propose that we watch what happens to the next attendee to see if they also would seduced into the mirror. But looking around, I mean... Could you a different word? Roll who cheese right here. What, seduced?

Yeah, that's just not a... Ooh. Before they get... compelled into the mirror and sorceled. That's a fine word. That's a very fine word. That's a five gold piece word.

That's like a two electric piece word maybe. More than that, I think. Maybe a free election piece word, Frosty, not only love. Well, Frost, why on you three go ahead and I can hide anywhere,

so I'll stay behind and just keep an eye out. How does that sound? If there's any trouble, we won't be able to help you. Can't just like do your thing? I guess how far can you do that? I actually can do that quite a ways.

Well, I can just start screaming. Yeah, that always works. Our usual tactic. We'll see if anyone is insured, Rod Hoechee, remember that word. Insociald. As long as we don't leave within five miles of you, it should be fine. Oh, that's shit. Now, I don't know why they made that mechanical restriction,

because it only lasts three minutes, and I don't think we could make five miles in three minutes. If we go through a teleportation door, we can do just that, probably. Who knows where it goes? Very smart of you. Oh, I'll take it back. We should all...

No, no, I'll think it's bad for you to hard here, Cremie. All right, why? Because we should all leave together. Yeah. What if it's like, oh, we're gonna leave? Oh, no! We're in Scammerf's house. And then Cremie is like,

Oh, I'm at the candy floss vendor. And then we're trapped, there's only three of us, we don't have Crummy. Crummy's enjoying a nice confection, and we're being turned into scab fodder. Wait a second. Are you saying they have candy floss here? Damn, didn't you see all those kids fighting over it? No? Yeah, they were all tearing each other apart.

It was like, it was like, well, there was a Lord of a Fly somewhere. It was awful. Well, I mean, you know, this is probably, Fine, let's just go to the candy floss. We'll do some other stuff. You know, how can you possibly still be hungry, give? I only got to eat the one cake. You ain't 300 pounds

of cake. Yeah, but, you know, I just burn it quickly. It was a 300 pound cake. It was one, but it was a lot of cake. Yeah, you guys are making my point. I've only had 300 pounds of cake. Well, didn't you also have a nice big skewer of horse meat as well? No, would it?

Let's leave. Oh, right, almost stick. Yeah. We're gonna leave. We're gonna leave. Grigo, on the way, I wanna hear more about this Lord of the Flies. Sounds terrifying.

Oh yeah, no, it was a spooky story that a Bullywoog told me. But let's, we're only involved to P. Yeah, we continue out. Back to the Cumber. You make your way out of the- Oh, wait, they're new exit. You're trapped.

You make your way out of the Hall of Illusions, and it's a quick trip out. You are not phased by the changing of the mirrors any longer. You've passed your saves effectively. so they don't affect you anymore. And you quickly make your way outside. You see that Candlefoot the mime is still outside miming.

There's no one in line for the Hall of Illusion. It's almost as if this sad, colorless mime detracts people from even wanting to come into this area of the carnival. You'll notice that some kids do walk up really excited and as he cries and mimes about the joys inside, they turn to their parents and say, I don't want to go there. and head towards the bubble pot teapot.

So there was no one waiting in line. That's why you never have a mom, kids. That poor chap. Why do you never have a mom? I mean, look, he's depressing the kids. Who would see that and be like, oh, I can't wait to do whatever he's gotten? Are you sure it's about him being a mime or him being very gray and telling children about how he lost his big-titty mermaid girlfriend?

I mean, have you ever seen a mom that's not gray and depressed about something? Usually about big tities, you're right. That's why they're only doing this. While a mime is only sex pets. Anyway, let's continue. But you do notice that there's no signs of the halfling girl. It looks like the candy, the candy, uh,

striper or pixies have taken her away to whatever infirmary there is to get rid of the Tasha's hideous laughter. You don't know if and when she'll return. We'll have to keep an eye out for her if she manages to make her way back into the amusement park or Carnival, which is a more appropriate term than what I just said. Do you guys want to go northward back up past the Big Top, past the staff area, past Silver Song Lake to the gondola swans? And it is at this time that you hear the booming sound of the calliope as it rings out a beautiful song, marking the changing of the hour. If you want to move the hour up one for me, please.

That's right. Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh, here. Do it on camera. Do it on camera. Thanks. That's right.

That's pretty good. Wait, I mean, all the way north when we got, look, there's a bunch of pixies over there. sounds so cool. Should we do a few of these or should we go up there first? What do you think? I mean, do you have a timeline when you got to meet up with Jerry or whatever the hell's name was? Now he just said he'd meet me at the gondolas with half a tuna set. Was it a whole tuna sub? It was a combo tuna meatball sub. Oh, that's my favorite. Oh, I knew Jerry wouldn't forget. Thanks, chat. Oh, they call, oh, they call that the goblin surfing turf. Is that what they call?

Oh, do they? Who calls it that? Yeah, uncle. Oh, God. You always called him weird. Is your uncle named Jerry too? No. He kind of sounds like it might be a Jerry. No, his name is Globo.

Yeah. No wonder. Growing up with a name like Lorbo would turn anyone strange. What's your name? He actually Cumb and goblin name. Yeah, now. Half of the men in our village was named Globo. Like the John.

Yeah. Like that you and all the girls were named Kimberly. Hold on. Busy Melanjew sure wasn't ownism. Oh no, that's how, no, that's how Uncle Globo dolled. He came that winter, he came down with a case of the onism. He didn't make it. No.

Well, we'll rest in peace. If you were going to die, Ownism is probably the most pleasurable way to end. Let's continue. I have to say, I think that you need to learn to pick something on the map and then commit or the gods of this world

will shower the rocks down upon you. You know, wherever you want to go. But I think, are you feeling gone of the swans? Is that, I mean, is that where you truly want to go? I'll just sign up. if Jerry said he was in, give me a goblin surfing turn.

All right, let's go. Come on, let's go. Oh man, we can make our way back here. It's only three on the clock. All right, here we go. And we will go all the way back up to it. You have to try the carnival. You are making your way.

You're making your way and you do actually notice about halfway towards the gondola swans that there is a nice little candy floss cart. There are a bunch of pixies flitting around, swirling the sugar into the bat and creating these beautiful, these beautiful candy floss sculptures. You can pick unicorns. Oh, yeah, unicorns.

Yep. You could pick pixies. They're pixie floss, candy floss. Pixies. Man, they make food out of pixies everywhere here. They do. It's a very carnival, and I'm not very creative. So there we go.

They should call this carnival. It should be called cannibal. There's a lepricon. Uh-huh. It would not. Cannibal. There is a pug. Oh.

Yeah. There is a, there's a cake. Oh. Wait, it's a cake. There's an apple. There's an apple one. Okay. Yeah.

I'm with that. Oh, there's a donkey. Okay. There is a flower, a bouquet of flowers made out of candy flowers. One unicorn, please. This free? Yeah. Yeah, one of those.

I'll have two, actually. Two unicorns? Yeah. I really love unicorns. I don't know if you can tell, but... Do you want them to be the same size or different sizes like a baby unicorn and a mama unicorn? Oh, that's so cute!

You know, dealer's choice, whatever you're feeling. I mean... I think it's really horrible to eat a baby unicorn in front of its mama, so instead it'll give you two mamas. Oh no, just give me the baby and I eat the mother first. That's good thing. Now you're using your noodle. Crammy, let's very...

In the wild, no, that is actually quite humane. You need to kill both of them. Yeah, you need to eat both of them. Mama, unicorns just spoil your dinner. You're gonna get a woman one baby. Exactly, right. The mama first. Well, the baby unicorn's gonna die slow death

if you don't eat both of them. And I love them so much that I'm willing to... Yeah, you're a conservationist. I didn't notice about you. I always thought you were gonna just exploit the local wildlife to make a buck. or an electron piece. Okay, here are your unicorns.

Oh, all right, I'll eat this one first, thank you. Nay! Oh, it's animated. I'll take the Pixie, please. You just want one pixie or two. Two is fine. Okay. Handsome to you.

Thank you. Why this kind of tastes like iron. It tastes like real pixie. Sorry headphone users. I'm not actually too particular on the shape, but can you just swirl a bunch of that floss into my open arms? Yeah, how many pounds of floss do you want? Well, until I look like I can't carry it anymore.

You look like you could carry a lot of floss. Well, yeah. You know what one pan of floss looks like? The volume? Well, maybe it just becomes unwieldy, and if I started to stumble a little bit, I guess that's fair. I just don't know. I start to wait always.

Do you want a complimentary pixie, or a candy floss Chad shirt? Well, yeah. Lady isn't even done, if we can all have one, please? No. Oh! Do you want one, though? I would love one, actually.

I'm not going to take my current shirt off. Your arms are huge. Oh. Well, I mean, nobody said that since the cake that you can contest, but it's probably not even notice. Are you the cake, Chad? Oh, you've noticed my shirt. Nope, I wasn't even looking at it. Oh, yeah.

Yep, I'm the cake, Chad. Wow. Yeah, I've eaten one whole cake and a bunch of cupcakes before that. I actually beat my old pal frosty here. Do you like pixies? I mean, one of us has the shirt. One of those doesn't have the shirt. Yeah, I love Biggsies.

I think. Are you gonna go to the Pixie Kingdom and enjoy the frivolity there? Fri-uh, yep. Yes, I am. I'll let him know you're coming. Oh, okay. He doesn't have a meaning in words. Pixies can get a little frisky.

Oh, well, oh. All right, we should probably stop talking. Why? Why? Wait, let's go to the Pixie Festival. Let's go to the Pixie Festival. You know, we got something. We have to give a time to give them a heads up, right?

Oh, okay, yeah. Do we book an appointment? Do you want me to squirt pixie floss all over your chest now? Um, you have to pay extra for that? You know, really, this isn't the first time that's happened. What he asks? That's how I know I enjoy it. I'm just wondering what the search is for that service is.

It's all free here. You have to like pay tax or something? I'm done with this one. You only ate the head off of it. That's not everything, though I ate. Ew. She just drops into trash. That's gross.

No, it's free. Oh, well, absolutely then. Load me up. She does. She loves you up with Pigsy. what? In a normal non-sexual way. Um, could we have two candy flosses shape perhaps like pumpkins or parsnips

or something that doesn't resemble any body parts of any types of creatures? It's very strange when it screams inside your mouth and reverberates in this very wild way. Yeah, we're feeling in the cheeks. You can use some pumpkin floss if you wanted to wanted to teach like pumpkins? Oh, that would be great.

We can't do that. Our daughter and I love pumpkin spot, what? We can't do that. Oh. And she is just normal fixing plots to you. Oh, no French dressing. No pumpkin candy dolls. If you're looking for French dressing,

you might wanna see Duncan. He's over by the gondola swans and the feasting orchard. Oh no, we already went through this whole saucerigmarole with him and they're all out of French dressing. We just delivered an entire vat of French dressing to them. What?

We're not going back. No. Do you know how good a goblin surfing turf of extra fringe dressing is? No, the only reason we're going to go back is if you have candy floss flavored like antidepressants. That child. It works like that, though. Are they SSR-R-R-Az? I see.

Yes, there are now. You know, I'm sweating. Oh. Well, if you want to go to Pixie Kingdom, the tuna can probably wait. Well, let's get on the gondola. We'll take a little trip around. It always tastes better the next day anyway. Ah, right, we're doing the Gondula swans.

Afterwards, we're head to the Pixie's funer. meeting you, we'll make sure to let the Pixies know you're gonna be there, cake, Chad. Excellent, bro. You tell them I said hello. It's the wrong way. I'll tell them that I said hello when I get there. The Gondola Swans, right? Oh, I thought we're going to the Pixie Kingdom. I said Gondola. We're going to go on. We're going to be very awesome. The Carnival with a map out. Like, where are we getting? It's upside down. You make the rest of your way towards the Gondola Swans. The

The carnival is almost at its peak. It's almost at the halfway point of being over. You hear a lot of people exclaiming how excited they are, that within the hour, the big top extravaganza should be starting. And it is the highlight of the carnival. It is the place to be. If you're not at the big top, you're not anybody. The energy at the carnival is palpable.

As you make your way to the gondola swans unimpeded, Enormous swans glide through the water here, pulling ornate wooden gondolas draped in flowers. The swans disappear into banks of silver mist as they went their way down the river. A jetty extends ahead, at the end of which, a waiting swan preens its feathers. You giant swans! Wow. Wow, I thought they were just going to be wooden ones. I also thought the same.

I'm surprised we didn't notice that when we walked past this place. We were very distracted by Duncan's very sad, sad story. Well, are they gonna be as mean as actual swans? Oh, I get down. Oh, no, swans are so nice and lovely. You just have a very nice. I think you're thinking of geese. I think swan's pretty mean.

Yes, I believe that swans actually kind of quite aggressive. No, no, no. How could this swan be mean? No, aren't you the most beautiful thing? Hello, my name is a brick. Oh, are you walking up to the swan? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's just an absolute beauty. Excuse me, you filthy little pest. Don't patronize me. Are you taking a ride or not? Oh, she's met you before. Oh, no. Sure hope this doesn't awaken something, isn't you? Swans are only super violent against other swans.

I've only seen swans attack and kill other swans. Let it just assume. It would work, you know, call species. You're always awakening. It's never even ever going to. Excuse me, you imbeciles. Are you going to ride or not? Oh, what up? You might have. Do you mind if we have a sidebar real quick? I will listen to everything you say.

Oh, well, what if we talk real quiet? You think you can? I was ask you, instead of Gricka, are you like an actual swan? Are you transmogrified into this against your will? I'm an actual swan. Look at my beautiful feathers. They're very lovely. I mean, look like a swan, but you don't sound like a swan.

What is a swan supposed to sound like? I mean, like honking and like hissing. Kill another swan? I've never killed another swan. a day in my life. And I will not honk on command. Okay. Well, I didn't have.

I mean, if you're a swan, you're off from rides. Yeah, no, no. I knew a fella who did honk on command, and he ended up at the big farm. I don't have all day rides only an hour. Do you want to ride or don't? Yeah, do you have a-

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, for what? The big top is less than an hour. Wait, it takes an hour to do? By the time you're done with a ride, you can dismount and go straight to the Big Top. That's perfect timing. Oh, exactly. We'll hop on right away.

We'll have four tickets, please. Perfect. Oh, shit. You'll stay out scheduled then. Can't be late. Yes, I'll need to get more tickets, and hopefully I'll have it lost. Oh, nope. We just jump off into the water, run to the big time.

You haven't been punching your punch. Haven't I, Frosty? You haven't been punching your punch? Yeah, and I asked you to punch it on the cards. Well, I'm going to say. No, it's okay. It's okay. You don't have to. I tried to do that.

It's impossible. You pass me the purple. It's impossible. No, I hate it. I hate you. No, I won't. She leans down and with her beak, she punches through your tickets. Oh.

Wow. That was pretty cool. That was very fast. I'm surprised you have such accuracy, given the size of your beak. A bill. Are you cooling my beak? Lodge. I mean, and everything about you is so grand.

Hmm. I sense sincerity in that. You may get one first, cat. Apparently. Well. Yes, you can all fit. I'm designed for this. Okay, all right. Well, no offense intended. Here we go. She's gonna be the weirdest tour ever. Until you left, it's this fucking thing.

I'll step on with frost. You do, and she ruffles her feathers. She actually jolt you this way and that, knocking you about. you about. You can tell it is unnecessary movement just to throw you about in the seating area, but there is a seating area on top of her back. It's not like the gondola swanjouet picture that are made out of wood where it's sunken in. It's more like a harness that goes over the back of her swan body with these plush seats in a beautiful blue velvet. And you are able to sit yourself down, strap in as she begins to move through the water very slowly. Everybody's wrap in.

Welcome to the Gwondola swans, after the witch-like carnival. I am a feathering, and I will be your swan for this evening. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I will feel free to not answer them if I don't feel like it. Otherwise, enjoy the ride. Very good. All right.

So you know, I love unicorns, so anything unicorn-related, please stop. Oh, yeah. If we have time for it, of course. No, you can go to the carousel for that I do you have a question for you though Oh, sure What even is joy Some kind of riddle

Oh No, you said you love unicorns So I'm assuming that unicorns bring you joy They do now, yeah What is joy You know like a feeling of A happiness A pleasantness, I guess

Right fellas, back me up on this Oh yeah, no It's like it's just, it's just, it's It feels just so nice in your, you feel warm and cuddly and snuggily. Kind of like in your soul, you know. I'll actually go a little farther and say that. In most of me. Experience of joy in a vacuum is a little tautological.

If you were to describe joy, why not to describe the opposite feeling, pain? It's in that contrast that you're able to truly experience what happiness means. You see as she cranes her head around at you and that look of frustration and anger? Do you do that? You start snoring? Well. Do you? Yeah, I do.

Do you? Yeah, I do. I do. I need to roll a dexterity saving throw for me, please. You're about to get winged off. As she turns and she looks at you, that look of haughtiness and anger on her face, slowly starting to subside. As she looks you up and down, you are an interesting creature. I like the things that you say.

Things to think about. I didn't have to roll even. That's nice. What did you get? Six. She turns and she looks, and she's looking at Frost. She's still facing forward, but her neck is turning around as a swan is wont to do. And you see that she looks really pleased with Frost,

as all of a sudden she hears your snoring. Her head snaps immediately toward you. Do you find this conversation boring, flaming one? Well, I mean, not the conversation. He said something about Tantons, and I don't know. I just went straight to sleep. He's doing it too. I'm wide awake listening to it all about the tontones.

And I thought they smell bad on the outside. I was going to make that joke. I'll be it to it, Rosie, Rosie. Just like those unicorns. I'll win them versus intellect, Frosty. I should have known you didn't have the intellect to hold down a proper conversation, just like most, completely empty on the inside.

Oh, I know, we're all filled with joy and snuggily feelings. Yeah, I actually... Now go ahead, please. I actually got quite a bit on the inside. Oh, really? Yeah, just very few of it is fancy words, but, you know... 300 pounds of cake. All right, then answer me this.

And some flaws, but... How do you even know that I exist? Well, you know, because I'm sitting on you. And, you know, most people I sit on, they tend to be there. Not afterwards, but... In the moment. You're friends with him. He's very useful.

In what way? Yeah, what the what the heck? Frosted, all these years? We're also good friends, but you should see him punch a body is what else. You know, if he, if that

body had any ribs intact forehead oh, forget about it. May I try it? Barbarians, the lot of you. No, a fighter actually. Yeah, we're true. May I try to answer the question you put to Gideon? Yes.

If you believe you're up to the task. My answer was not sufficient enough for you, Frost. Well, I think just sitting on something doesn't necessarily convince you that you're not alone in this world and that existence isn't only inside one's mind, but it would be absurd to believe that. Necessarily if I believe I

myself exist, I have to believe that other things exist and perceive things in the reverse way. Solipsism is a terrible road of madness, and I won't support it. Hmm. What? And how can you confirm that you yourself exist?

Just by that very argument that I made. The idea that only I exist in my mind and that everything else is an illusion, is a terrible thought. I can't entertain it. Have you ever heard of Newton's a laser sword? I enjoy a good fig Newton. Oh, yes, you enjoy a fig Newton.

Oh, I eat them by the sleeve. You can get them in a sleeve. Oh, no, if you shove them all down in the thing and you have a handy snack, you're just like, well, you know, when you're walking, you're going on a stroll. And it's like, I can't carry all these fig Newton's. Oh, oh, God. So then I had a brilliant idea of us.

It's like, oh, maybe you should just have one, the serving, or two. The serving size is two, Gregor. And I'm like, you are an idiot, Frosty. And I took them all and I shoved them down my sleeves. I'm a swan. I don't have hands or sleeves. Well, what do you like, oh, I don't have any sleeves over. I used to wear sleeves.

Then it got a little warm. So you need to be fed, you're Fig Newton, so every time you have a little bit of your big newton. a Fig Newton, someone's got up feed it to you? We have swan handlers, yes? Oh, that's not bad, actually. I'm not in mind a life with a handler. Are they related to big fig newtis?

Isn't that what this fiery man is to you, your handler? I mean, put it that way. Aren't you a couple? I mean, we handle this, I handle that. We're just partners. Yeah. Business associates. Life partners.

Just a couple. Just a couple of guys. Couple of fellas. Just a couple of fellas. Wild and crazy guys. Just one, just one and then two, me and you. Doing crime, yeah. Couple of crimes.

Oh, partners and crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two guys in a hot tub. It's a hot swan, right? Just guys being dudes. Just a couple of guys. Anyways, in conclusion, it's not worth arguing.

It can't be proven one way or the other. There's nothing to prove its existence without the evidence for it. Why even debate it? Well, I would query you this. In a world so full of magic, it's time and illusion. Are we still talking about fig news? Oh, speaking of something to eat,

near my rear feathers, a disgusting, foul-smelling sandwich was left for you? If I accept that, does it make it more weird or less weird? In regards to what? I don't even know anymore. Would you like to eat my rear sandwich feathers? I mean, bare feathers sandwich. The only window goes did that.

Felt that coming. I felt that coming. I can feel like heat off of Gideon. Well? I can't be disappointed. Well, it smells like goblin surfing, turf. So yeah, I'll take seconds. This is going to take an hour.

That would be very lovely. Jerry is a real swell guard. I hope I'd look to see him before the carnival shutdown for another eight years. Who would pair tuna fish with meat? Well, the two fish is a meat. It's a fish meat. But I'm talking about the meatballs. I can't look at that and be like, oh, that's beef or pork of veal.

The meatballs are definitely not meat. It's just meat. They're not pork veal or bees. It's a soy-based alternative meatballs. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. They're called Impossibles.

I'm glad you're expanding options for the witch-light hands. I support their life choices. Oh, that's good process sludge. Just like Uncle Globo used to make. Oh, so. Oh, sir. I mean, you're caught to himself.

Well, I mean... I mean, in the bog, I mean, it's not the same because if it's actually tuna and it's actually like meat, like Ville or pork or beef, that's not a real goblin surfing turf. It's got to be made out of muskrat and leech. That's the good stuff.

That's the real good stuff. stuff. You just, you just thread that leach and you get all nice and that it smells basically the same. Leach is in like leeches like from the swamp. Oh yes. Some lamprey perhaps if you're feeling real spicy. Oh I'm not had lamprey that sounds quite good. It's delicious. Yeah. I think I have an answer feathering to your inquiry. Oh you do. If time is an illusion then so are the dimensions themselves. Just as width and height and depth

have a are part of the dimensions of this world, so is time where those pieces can move through space in the fourth dimension. As we move upward through the tree of dimensions, there would be additional consequences, but here in our third dimensional world,

we must respect that time is not an illusion, but a very physical fact about reality. Though I do not care if we were clearly idiotic companions, you have a sharp mind and a clear wit. I have tried to hone it my entire life, thank you. I like you. Which is your name?

My name is Morning Frost. You can call me Frost. Oh, we're calling them MF. All we? I mean, when did we start doing this? They call me MF because they're goofy bitches. Do you know what that means? Do you know what that stands for? I tried to explain it to them. It should stand for Morning Frost, but I hear them whispering behind.

in my back. I see. I feel like I can talk to you about things. Indeed. I don't often feel like I can talk to people about anything. Most just ignore the questions that I ask or they make light of them. They're not funny questions. They're things that are deserving

of ponder. But most people only care about the gossip around the carnival. Or the goings-on in the back alleys. Oh. Oh. What are they saying about Candlefoot's ex-girlfriend? No, no, she thinks she doesn't want to

Pulasia. Oh, Pulasha! And do you have any favorite songs, favorite colors, any hobbies that she cares for? No, I'm not sure. I don't spend much time with Pulasia, but I do know such a horrible thing that happened between her and Candlefort. Oh, no. It's absolutely awful. I was present, you see.

It was happening over in the lake, and I was currently giving a tour. I didn't have anyone on my back, you see. But so I was able to meander about a bit, and he was giving such a heart. heartfelt beautiful proposal, and all of a sudden, the colour started draining from his body out of nowhere. And as he got to the part about asking her to be his wife, his voice completely gone, as if it was stolen from him in that moment. Plosha was heartbroken, poor thing. She's been crying on her rock ever since. It's so hard for her to find her voice to sing. How are people going to enjoy the carnival over there if they can't hear the Donaldson tones of a singing mermaid?

It's so sad. now when we swim by it's just sad wimpers of a heartbroken woman He was forcibly turned into a mime By what, by who? He was always a mime, by what or by who? Who knows?

I have been pondering those questions myself. Was it even a who? Can you take us to where that? Can you take us to where that happened? Well, it requires a ticket to go see Palachia, But when you're done with your gondola ride, you couldn't make your way over there. Oh, we've got to go to the big top.

We'll have to do it after the big top. But I do have to ask you a couple questions. Oh, there's a hair in my teeth. Oh, my goodness. How are you holding that? That's remarkable. How is their hair? You're a swarm.

There's a feather in my team. Not quite competing the teeth. We have Matt Candlefoot, and he did seem quite distraught. Can you repeat the name of the woman that he tried to propose marriage? The Mermaid. Kabasha? Palasha.

Kalasha. Koshar. What a horrible name. The hood blocks sound on the sign. Your ears are coming out, frosting. That's why he comes like the holes in your hood, right? So you can get back. Exactly right.

This is so fascinating. Another prevented marriage seems to be happening in a pattern. Perhaps there will be a third. Well, if you know the gossip in the carnival, what do you know about this kid? that's terrorizing the outskirts of the carnival. Oh, well, that's another story all on its own. This Kenku appeared, right.

Right, right. And she has a habit of being able to use, what is the word you, your magic uses, yes? To disguise herself as other people to hide amongst the crowd. She's been creating quite a lot of trouble within the carnival lately. Can you see? Yes. She tried to get an audience with Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, and they were having none of it. Apparently, she's concerned about her patron's Milner. They don't want to answer any of her questions, and so they kicked her out of the carnival. They had a forcibly removed. She somehow found her way into possession of a ticket and has returned back to the carnival. And has been causing mischief ever since from what I heard from Burley the Bug Bear, who is, by the way,

very quick of mind. Quite a lovely old chap. Not the one that left Jimithin or whatever his name was. The one that left your disgusting horrible sandwich on my tail feathers. Wasn't him. It was the other bug bear. The one that works over at the

that works over with the security area. The staff wagons. Oh, that's fair way. He's quite lovely burly is. And what was I saying? You were talking about that the tank who's not actually a political agent.

Oh, she's just trying to get an audience with Mr. Wish and Mr. Light. Something to do with, like I said, this Zabilna person, who she claims is in distress or there's something wrong with her domain. I'm not quite sure. I'm not familiar with Zabinna. But what Burley tells me is he caught this Kenku trying to sneak into the staff wagons and trying to run away with Mr. Light's candle vein.

Or potentially Mr. Witch's Pucket Watch. Can you imagine what would happen to the carnival? If someone got a hold of those two incredibly powerful artifacts. Oh. They would quite literally have the carnival eating in the palm of their hands. Don't even joke about it. It would be horrible. Oh, wait.

You said candlevane and pocketwatch? Weathervane. Oh, Weathervane. Weathervane. I might have said Candlevane. I was staring at the candy floss upon this fiery man's chest. Oh, did I not get it all? No, it's...

It's sticky. It's really... It's stuck to your flaming chest hair. Oh, no. The warmth of your chest hair keeps melting the floss and it's just sticking. I can see it from here. Oh, no, the rapids.

Oh, it's so turbulent. Oh, my plant-based sandwich. Did you just drop your sandwich? Oh, don't worry. He left another just in case. Thank goodness. And she motions to the other side of her tail feathers, and you see that there is another sandwich there.

Oh, Jerry, sure's a good lad. He was worried that you wouldn't be satisfied unless you had your favorite meal. Surprisingly, this one also has arugula. Ooh, I mean, I want to say no to that. A little bit of arugula. We were going to play Will Griko eat it. I'm just going to dunk this in the water here.

A little bit of pollen scum. Oh, the water. No, it's fine. Oh, it's got all that blue dye, isn't it? Mm. It's not dye. I grin, and it's all stained blue. Yum!

I don't think the swans leave this river for the entire carnival. It tastes like blue. Well, feathering. So you're saying that the Kanku is currently in the staff area and was apprehended by this bugbearer. Well, I wouldn't say currently. That is just what Burley. told me the last time he spoke.

Unfortunately, Bailey doesn't have much time off, so it's very rare that he gets to come and spend time with me, but he's quite a lovely friend. One of the few people in this carnival that can hold down an intelligent conversation. So I am quite pleased when he comes to see me. He does have the best gossip in all of the carnival because you see he's constantly working outside of the staff door.

He can hear everything that's going on. So no matter where something happens at the carnival, he sure is going to no scoop. Because I'm his dear best friend, obviously, He tells me everything that he knows. That being said, I haven't talked to him in a few days. He's been quite distressed over the loss of his brother. Oh, my gosh.

His brother just died? Well, we're not quite sure. You see, things go missing here at the Witch-Like Carnival. Oh, look through mirrors. I'm not sure what you mean. The lock of you was a good little girl with a dollypop and a pig mask. So you have seen the spectre. Oh, it's a ghost!

Well, that's what we think it is. We're not quite sure. It's just that it appears out of nowhere, and if you don't have a ticket or you enter a ride without a ticket, you don't get it punched, or you do something against the rules of the carnival. It is said that the little sow pig

will appear and take you away. That thing is an employee. No. We don't know what it is, or how it's even got it. He ran right past Candlefoot and didn't punch his ticket. It must have been a consequence of he's being...

He's a scorer. Wow. And the punishment is to be kidnapped by a horrible pig specter, taken into a mirror invention and presumably unalive. It's very possible. And unfortunately, we've also heard that the desperate will make pleas to the sow pig in hopes for something in their life. And Hurley was...

That's Berley's twin brother. was unhappy with things the way they were, and Burley heard him one night calling out into the ether for help, and next thing you know, he's gone, and no one's seen him since. So the running thought is that the sowpick must have taken him. Well, I guess that means that if we want to meet with the salpig, there's a way to do it. And I had a question about our journey.

Are we circumnavigating the carnival? Yeah, you're going around the carnival. So we've been moving in a pretty good clip. Yeah, she's not at all interested in telling you where you are or what you're looking at. It's more designed for you to just look and explore. And I would say you, I guess because we're back into it, I would say you've noticed that there are other swans in front of you and behind you, and none of the other swans seem to be, I mean, they seem to be like chatting.

They seem significantly more amicable than feathering is. But they're not talking about what they're seeing. It's more just pleasant conversation, a nice, relaxing ride. It's a way to get off your feet for a bit and just kind of enjoy an hour leisurely ride down there. I enjoy this ride. Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's good learning not getting a scoop on everything. I feel like this has been our most useful experience. You've been very illuminating feathering. Well, I'm so glad to hear that. I've really enjoyed your responses to my questions, Frost. I normally don't get involved in talking to the riders on these things, but you've piqued my interest. It was my pleasure.

If you have any other questions, I'm happy to answer them. And I normally don't do that. But for you, she smiles at you. I drew up a question. Oh, is it just for Frost? A friend of Frost is an acquaintance of mine. Oh, it does. So this weather vane that you say is important.

I got two questions about the weather vane, actually. One, where's it located? Is it the top of the, of the, of the, The big top? Oh, no. Mr. Light carries the weather vein on him at all times. Oh, he carries it around?

Yes, it's like a, it's like a magical staff. Oh, that's kind of cool. Kind of the magic. Yeah, I got my cane here. It's very similar in nature. All right. Have you met Mr. Light? We have not.

I think you would like him. He's quite a jovial fellow. Where is his office, their office? Back behind the staff tents. They have a carriage. Can anybody just walk back there? No, of course not. You have to be invited specifically by them.

Of course not. Can you believe what a silly question? If you're able to impress Miss Light at the Big Top event in less than an hour, you might get an invitation to meet with them. Well, how do we do that? Well, they always ask for audience participation at the Big Top. And if you can do something to truly get his attention, and makes him believe that you have a good chance at being in the running for the monarch,

then he might invite you back to speak with them. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Oh, you already know who's going to be the monarch, it's going to be Hootie, who's been here the whole time and is still balancing the pumpkin. It is highly unlikely they would have a crown, an owlbear, a beast of any nature. Well, that's what they always said is the first time for everything, right, Hootzie? Well, not this time. Well, maybe this time.

You don't know that who's seen. Don't listen to her. It's bird envy. She's not a bird. She's more like a bear. That's what I mean. She's half bird. She's half bird and half mammal.

I'm just saying it's kind of like a rivalry is what I'm guessing. Just because he's half genie, does that make him not a genie? You're half genie. Yeah, it's true. It's in the blood. Oh, is that where all of your flaming chest hair comes from? Well, I mean, I guess it could be the human half, but it's probably unlikely.

Look at him. You have a cow lick, by the way. No, it just does that. I haven't met any cows. What? I haven't met any cows. As you said, they didn't lick me. I don't think.

He didn't look by a cow is what he's trying to say. Yeah, yeah. Where did you meet these friends of yours? At a failed carnival. Oh. Well, we met in the jungle first, I think. Yes, he was hanging upside down by a rope. What a fool.

Indeed. It's very funny It was a tricky To be fair, it's not entirely It's mostly Ho Chi's full I'm sorry to Hucci's just going to call it how I seized it Why are you so curious about the weather vane Oh I mean you just mentioned it was very powerful and rare

And majestic and I'm just wondering why is it powerful What can it do? Does it have any kind of special features Of magic or ability? Oh, I know that it does It has some tie to the carnival in some way believe it's tied directly to the emotional state of the carnival, which is why Mr. Light is not pleased when the carnival dips anywhere below neutral. Oh, we can see which way the wind is blowing. That's pretty good.

It's like a metal form. Oh, yeah. It makes sense. Things that are happening here. So if he would lose it, or someone else would have got their hands on it. Not that that would happen. If it did, what might happen? Well, I'm sure he would be furious, and the entire carnival would go in search of whoever had stolen in it.

But it's not like, you know, they would stop owning the carnival. No, I think that's more likely if you were to get your hand on Mr. Witch's pocket watch. Oh, okay, I see. So Mr. Lott has the weather vane and Mr. Witch has the pocket watch. Yes. Oh, got it. Write that down. Well, I think those are all my questions. Does Mr. Lott perchance have a white or pinkish mauve face paint with a diamond red on his cheek or his eye?

It really just depends. He's quite flamboyant character. He loves colour and dressing up and makeup and all things fun and glamorous. That's a very, very detailed question. Why would you ask that in that order? Well, no, I saw the big clock tower and it was like, I think it really depends on his mood. Or I guess I should say the carnival's mood.

Okay. I'm starting to piece things together, perhaps out of character. Well, I mean, we're looking at the same map that us as human beings on Earth are. Oh, that's right. Oh, is this Mr. Woodla? I'm sorry, I can't see what you're trying to show me. I point to the faces on the map. This happiness tracker down here.

If the map looks exactly like what the map is here, then... I'm on... I'm on Valium. We're going to start pushing you. We're going to start pushing you. I don't remember what it looks like. I would say on occasion, yes, Mr. Light would wear face paint that looked like that.

Oh. Oh, in time? Yes. Oh, like a pocket watch. But the hourglass, we don't like that. That's spooky, right? What's the difference? The hourglass Coven?

Oh, whoa. Oh, no. I mean, we hate all our glasses. Oh, we gotta be wary of them? Maybe it's like a trademark or a calling card. Oh, calling card. Anyways, I'm done. That's enough question for me.

Hey, so what kind of stuff can we get involved in in the big top extravaganza? Well, it'll start out as a simple big top extravaganza, really. There'll be events for you to watch and things to do. And about halfway through, Mr. Light will come out, and he will request audience participation. And should you get his attention with some performance you would like to provide at the carnival,

he will allow you access to the big top ring. You perform, and if you please him, then you are on the fast track to being the Witchlight Monarch and can request an audience with him if you so choose. Wow. Sounds pretty cool. We actually just wrote a really good play about the joys of building with magical reinforced straw and flame throwers.

So I think we'd just run that back. Fellows, what do you think? That sounds incredibly boring. It's actually pretty exciting. I was pretty exciting. It was wolf nuggets. What is a flame thrower? Oh, it's when you take flame and you go into a fireplace and you're like,

ah! Ah! Ah, my hand! Wouldn't I burn your hand? Yeah, it does. It hurts real bad. Why would you do that? Well, because the character I was playing, his name was

Phil and he was a pigman. What does the name Phil have to do with grabbing colds and throwing him as an enemy? This is part of his character. He was quiet as the moron. What if you miss? Well, I mean, that's not for me to decide. It sounds like there's a hundred percent chance you burn yourself.

But it's significantly lower chance that you actually hit the enemy your trying to make damage. I'm going to say is a big bad wolf burned alive and all of the pigs ate wolf nuggets for supper. It's all I'm going to say. Okay. That sounds like a forced plot. I think it was pretty cool

I think it was a pretty exciting play I made it open the doors Yeah the door father was pretty good The doors were pretty good What doors? Yeah and the corn maze Oh those doors are set low for children Oh well you know What they say

If you want to hear the truth You go talk to a child And if you want children to succeed You make sure that the bar is set very low Who says that? Why would you want children to succeed? We don't want to trap them in a corn maze for the rest of their existence.

Well, no. I mean, if they can't get out of the corn maze, it deserves to be trapped in. Why would, wait, if that's built for children, why is there a turnip that turns them all lusty with giant breasts? Yeah, and why there's a scarecrow that responds to lustful intentions?

He only became that because you carved that into the turnip. Yeah, that was either. The child would never... Foyered again by Scooby-Dade. The child would never think that unless they'd already been introduced to it. The entire purpose of that is a child would simply choose happy and sad.

Well, to be fair, I told Fosci to do happy kitty first. So where does this lusty, busty mermaid? I don't know. It was just a funny story. Have you been spending time with Plosha? No, but we've heard a lot about it. Clearly.

Does she have any long favorite snacks? Clams. Clams, okay. Mm. Clams. That's why I didn't work out with the bomb. That was pretty good, yeah. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Just good. Just going to be watching HBO. It was like shit. It had nothing doing in the world. We just are passing, because we would be going all the way around. We're just passing the Hall of Illusion.

You can see Campbellfoot as you're making that joke be like, joke be like tiny violent you make a great mime dude yeah you do you put my mime to shame I went to clown school I know you I kind of want to go to clown school it was fun you can walk on a giant ball how long did you go to clown school it was like four weeks holy shit it was like a camp oh how much she got cost I didn't go to space camp How did it cash your cards? I don't know.

I was like eight. And you've retired on juggling the fucking scarves and shit. I can say swords, to be honest. Yeah, they gave eight-year-old swords. Yeah! If you can't catch it, you deserve your fate.

All right? All I want to say is no wonder you are the way they are. I was that way before I went to fucking clown school. I love Dino Cat says, I thought that Clown Camp was a joke. Is it not? No, it's not a joke. No.

Something Derek actually did in his real life. Oh, amazing. I'm jealous. And I can still kind of juggle. Kind of. Oh, God. Yes, sir. Well, if that's all, I guess we can continue the remainder of the ride in silence.

Okay. All right. You can. respond to me in your mind featherina we can have a conversation like it's feather reen we can have a conversation featherina it's feathering it's not featherina this is going to be the third time I've corrected you it's feathering are you sure it's not featherina it's my name of course I'm sure well I'm communicating telepathically with feather rea oh you can't eat his

it's feathering oh I actually couldn't hear you over the rushing water in my my my uh hooded robe Well, as it is, Fras, so that the audience knows what you're doing. Oh, I'm using my mind powers to speak with Featherene. If you wouldn't mind, we can sit in silence, but you and I might have an intellectual conversation for the remainder of this ride and enjoy pondering the nature of reality and interesting questions.

Oh, I would love that very much. Do you have anything that you would like to question me about? Nothing specific to the carnival. I thought you were coming up with questions like time as an illusion and these kinds of ideas. Would you be interested in these similar pursuits? I just said yes. Oh.

What is, under this, what is the most difficult or important question ever asked? Gregor, you still got any more of that sandwich? She thinks for a bit. She sits in silence while they do whatever they're going to do, and I think about this. Can I have, can I have something? I mean, are you sure?

Well, I mean, Jerry goes. for me. I mean, I'll get so poo. Oh, I'm being such a nice guy. Here's your gift. I agree with it. Oh, do you know how much this is worth to me? I haven't had a goblin surfing tooth in so long. Oh, uh, well, I'm gonna level with you.

I was just gonna tear bits and pieces off of it and see how far I can throw it from. Oh, I was gonna ask you if you can do that. See the perfect throwing. Okay, here you go. Oh, gosh, this is, okay. So I'll bet you 20 electrical pieces. No, wait, how much is that? I don't know. 20 election pieces. You can't hit the gold

to stupid-looking tire right over there. What do you think? I'm it. Okay. Easy. 20 electrum. A roll and acrobatic, athletics. Don't mind if I do.

Pretty good. If he misses, he hits Duncan. Please, please, please, please, please, us. 24. You take one of these impossibles and you wind up and you throw it.

And it whizzes past, child, parent, two lovers walking hand in hand. Yeah, Jesus, you pervert. Aiming directly for, aiming directly for what was it that you were,

that you advised him trying to? That guy with the stupid looking tie. Yeah, the guy with the stupid looking tie. But it's not a tie. It's a bow tie. And as he turns around, you see the big round ball on his nose. As he honks it and his tie squirts water at the children in front of him as they clap. Immediately as this impossible smacks him in the face.

You watch as you can't see this, but you imagine the bird spin around his head. His head lulls this way and that. He goes to say something, but his eyes roll back in his head and he falls over dead. Can you please move the happiness tracker down one as the children's lost to the death of a clown? Again! Again! What I... Again!

I had thought I'd set my pitching arm to stun! Stop choking around, Clutzy! Clussy! You don't know by now that clowns a very weak's final column! Aw! What's going on with Clussy? It's just like that, alright? Can you...

We gotta go. No, we're at a set pace. I do have an answer to your question. Oh, thank you. I don't think you saw me doing it. It is the answer that you were hoping for you thinking. I think it would be the question of why. For everything has a why.

And the answer will be different depending on who asks and who answers. That is a phenomenal answer. I wish I had some reward for you, the same way you gave us so much insight into nature. Would you like to have sex behind the shed?

I'm just kidding. He doesn't say that to you. Well, you know, when I came to the witch-like carnival, you could have given me a million guesses about what I do here. But fucking a gigantic sentient swan is not one of my guesses

I ever would have had. How were your back feathers? Are they still filthy? I can see. There's a little bit of mariner. There's a little bit of marinerineer mixed with tuna mayo back here. Oh no. I thank you very kindly for the answer. And if there's more time, then I would go back at Fort

Cornyn. Yeah, she would ask you things. You would ask her thing. and you will make your way around this, you, whatever your name is, Frost. Sorry. It's Frost. Mour and Ful.

Mour and Fogg. It's MFF. It writes itself. You got a later as well. It's MFF. It's MFF. Can you roll intelligence throw it for me, please? Oh, in intelligence.

Check. Check. That's where he's a Viking. Oh, I was about to get feeble-minded. Shit. Mm. You're a too smart with your own good. Just straight in.

And she melts your mind. I'm not rolling hot. 16. Oh, that's fine. You are making your way around this and she's around this lazy river. And she is casually talking with you and just randomly she says would you like to know one of my favorite things about

running being a part of the gondola swans yeah happily yes please are we still in the mind place no she's talking irregularly do you do you have a favorite number um no but i have a number that uh seems to be coming up again and again in a pattern uh a fixation of a number let's say so do i the number eight oh If you notice, the entire carnival is shaped like an eight. The lazy river shaped like an eight. Eight is a symbol of infinity. When I was younger, my favorite number was three.

It's interesting to think that threes pushed together create an eight. Don't you think? Now Frost thinks that she's coming on to him. You may be wondering how I got here. About to push my three into the filthy back feathers of a giant talking swan. At the dragonfly ride, they were also going in a figure eight. And let me tell you, the number I was so fix that I am so fixated by is currently three. That is quite interesting. I think we've met for a reason.

Yes, I would agree. I would say that it is fate. Two minds meeting by fate. A cat and a swan. Sounds very, fairy tale-esque. Ah, yes, at the Witchlight Carnival. Anyway, the ride's over now. Get out. Hey, everybody. Chuckles here. It's time for an ad read.

This podcast is brought to you by our very own Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash Legends of Adventures. and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement,

The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you so much. Or fear around. Are he's going to know the fact that he just killed a man? Oh, give me your voice down.

We can't confirm that. No, I think he was pretending. It's a classic pratfall of these clowns over here. Yeah, give you a guy. They're not invulnerable. They're still been like that. And we know from experience, all right? No, no, no.

That man was dead. That is a snap in half, all right? Bobo is legendary arrest. Excuse me. The ride has come to an end. There's about 15 minutes until the big top show. If you're planning on impressing Mr. Light, you might want to consider thinking about what you're going to do

once the event starts. Oh, do you have to come with a plan or just tell us what to do. No, we will ask if anyone in the audience has some trick or performance they would like to perform in hopes of gaining favor for Witchlight Monarch. A trick I can do, I can throw a meatball so hard and kill somebody.

I'm not sure that would impress. As for you, Frost. If you ever find yourself looking for more intellectual friendships, please, further rides are free. Oh, thank you for the ride. For you. If there's time, I will be back here. You will...

I would love to see you again. You will hear... As I pull up a stool and I stand up it, I kind of get in the way in between the swan and frost. And I'll say, now, Frosty and I'll probably be busy doing the word jumble. Very intellectual pursuit on the coloring page with our crowned. Thank you very much. Very intellectual.

And he even lets me do the word search on me own for the first 20 minutes before he hopes. Very intellectual. Okay, good boy. Thank you for the road. Congratulations. I hot down. It was a pleasure, Feathering. It was lovely to meet you, Frost.

Enjoy the rest of the Witchlight Carnival, and good luck. We have to make her way. We've got to lay low, right? Why? Hopefully to clean him up. What do you mean why? I was talking to Featherine. What happened?

Gideon killed a clown! I bet. Another man! Wait, wait, no, he's probably not dead. It's a very classic pratfall, amongst these adgey clowns who are a little bit more experienced. They're like, oh, I'm gonna pretend to die,

so the kids go cry, and when I come back alive, They give me lots of money for me booze. I hope I'm wrong. Stop killing clowns. That's what you said. Listen, I don't know. Please.

Well, but let's also not glance over the fact that you owe me 20 Electrum. What's the conversion rate? I don't know. I actually don't know what 20 Electrum is. Look, that's not your gold. That's Mr. Garu's gold. Don't you fucking touch that gold.

Right, I'm an I owe you. What? Oh, this is like the carnival. This is like our carnival all over. You're gonna be taken by some slam pig in a moment. Keep in the game, Derek, give it a game. I'm waiting to drop that one for you. Two and a half hour.

Self-restraint that I have, I want everyone to know. To know. Okay. Jesus Christ, there's something seriously wrong with you guys. Here you go. All right. Oh, I didn't sign it. Oh, yeah, sign it.

I got to be able to collect. Okay, so we... Anyway, we don't know that I killed that guy. We just know that I hit him real hard. I didn't realize that when I threw that, I was going to break the sound barrier. And then his neck. I just thought I was going to hit him with the squishy meatball

and bounce off of them. And I would just be like, yeah, look at that accuracy. Are you sure you killed? him and in the distance you can hear. 20 election. Thank you. Look, all I'm saying is, I'm not saying that you were meant to kill him.

The amount of times you've accidentally killed someone. It's ridiculous. I don't think he's dead. I mean, come on, it's a carnival. Nothing bad can happen here. Can we walk and talk? No, we're walking towards us. We're going to make sure that he's okay.

No, we have 15 minutes to get to the, big top. But Bozo, we gotta just check on Bozo real quick. I think it was clutzy and I don't want to go over it. The next time I get honest. You know the name of the man you killed. Oh, is Bozo the next one? The next time I get honed by the last person I killed, I wanted to be kind of like a, you know, like they don't know who I am.

They don't know why they're there, you know. Get in. Remember the number eight. There will be six more of us. It's more of us. Oh no. Instead of my seven evil exes, it's like my eight evil dead ghosts at Hauntlet

that also happen to all be clowns. If this becomes the thing, I'm gonna be, if I can lose my mind. Every time, when we ever have combat, I'm gonna kill like a, I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me, please at disadvantage. Oh, shit.

I gotta get my Miami dice. Natural 20, okay. Two in a row. Two in a row. Disadvers? Okay. Well, that's pretty good. 20.

Okay. I gotta go check on Clotchy to make sure he's all right. Oh, hold on. One thing that I want to clear up is I wear a bow tie. Oh, yours is a very nice boat. This car was, I had a stupid looking boot. I couldn't see that he was a clown. I didn't know that Gideon has a,

arm that is a clown-seeking missile, throw. Are you getting him to do it? You bet him election pieces. I didn't think of plant-based. If that was genuine muskratin meat, it would have splatted on his face, the children would have laughed. You know what?

I like where going with this. He had, so he actually survived the impact, but he had an allergic reaction to fake process. Oh, it's basically synthetic. Yeah, I didn't actually do it. It was just triggered his allergy, inadvertently. I'm like those fry shops at the boardwalk. You know the other things.

Just like that. They put fans behind the fries to attract customers. I know. Look, I wasn't involved in any of this. I was having an intellectual conversation and I turn around. You've killed another clown with an impossible. I'm going to the big talk. If you guys want to go to investigate this new body, that's fine.

But I feel very strongly that we need to be there. That it faded. Yeah, I mean, what am I going to do about that clown? I'm going to do it. No pigs are wrong. Actually, we can take him to the pig. I think he's already exposed to him. No.

Grick, go roll, wisdom, saving for a disadvantage, please. Oh, okay. And we don't perceive any of anything going on to set. Look, I agree. I think we do what we can. We got to impress Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, and I think with our abilities, it's going to be easy. May I twist?

You may not. I will twist of dread you. To make it impossible for you to twist. 13. Okay, you will fail. you immediately feel your body start to tense up. And the rest of you don't really notice, but Grico does get a little stiffer as he starts to move a little slower.

Grico, you begin to see things that the others do not. You see a strange, shadowy woman that has a, she's colors of purples, blues, and grays, and on her face is a mask shaped like a crescent moon. You see a tiny, almost frog-like creature as it moves towards you, licking its lips. It's clearly humanoid in some way. It looks like a mix between a child and a bully-wook. And then you see the sow pick.

As it moves towards you, almost jittering, as if it's moving through space and time in a different way than the rest of you are moving through this carnival. It stops next to it, looks up, and it says, Where's your ticket? Oh! I knew what happened right away. I totally didn't. Oh, my ticket, oh. And you realize you can't speak,

but you are verbally communicating, you're communicating with your mind. But you're frozen, you can't move. You should be at least you. Do we see him face? You do not. Oh, am I able to respond? Yes, you can respond.

You just, you're, you are frozen in a space, you respond with your mind. Ah. I just wanna apologize in advance for what is happening here, but this is your fault, so. Oh, bu, bu, bu, my ticket, me, my buddy Gideon is holding onto it. We all have it there, it's right there in his pocket.

Did you give your ticket away? Oh no, it's just, the ink is really what I was just showing him. You're not allowed to be in the carnival without a ticket. She's not happy about this. Oh, no. The rule of reciprocity means that if you sneak in, we take something of yours. And she reaches out and touches Hootsie.

And in the span of a second, all of it is gone and you're able to move. Hootsie is nowhere to be seen. Hey. What? Did you say slam pink? You just stop saying that first of all. What happened to Hootsie?

Where did it? Oh. Hey, also, I don't know if you realize this, And so for you, those of you that were not Grico, it's almost as if time stopped. And so essentially how that worked is time stopped, you felt frozen. And because you did not have a ticket, this entity, Sao Pig, is able to take something from you, one of your most treasured items. And as Hootsie is your most treasured item, the Salpig has taken Hootzee from you for not having your ticket at the carnival. And I was, I'm not aware of this as Frost, but for my meta, and you don't have to answer, the Salpies.

is the same creature that we saw in the mirror. Okay. But you also saw two other entities. One was a frog. I will actually show you a photo of what they look like. It was a moon masked woman and like a cage bully one. It will make it a lot easier if I just show you what they look like.

Well, there's three of them. That's cool. That's not important. Certainly not a government. Oh. These are the things that you see. Oh, God. No.

So it is like, it's like half frog, half person. Yeah. Oh, no. You're gonna put it on the one too done looking at it. Oh, geez. What is it with you in Coven's a peg? Oh, no!

What? Covem if I've ever seen one. Holy cow. Oh, wow. This is straight from the medulla, yes? Yes, this is straight from the medulla. Oh, look at that. That's like, uh...

Oh, no. Tree. Yoda bug. Tree Creature Man. It looks like Cromer's Yoda. Wow. I'm a soldier. Tree creature man, dude.

I'm the nearest starship, focus, you're fire. The fuck? Just saying what you mean, Yoda. We're in war, we're going to die. So anyway, for just to clear everything up, It was, for you three, it was as if time stopped. And in that span of the stopping of time, Grico was able to see things that move between,

almost as if they're moving between time itself. And they were able to come up out of the carnival. The other two lurked in the shadows while Sao Pegg came up and took what was owed to the carnival for not having a ticket in your possession while being inside the ground. Ugh, a good go. And then time reactivates.

So it would be like we, to us, we just be walking, all of a sudden, who's like blips from existence. Goethe. Hootie! Hucci! Where did she just go? No, they get to the pig mask, the pig mask girl, and she came and she had a lollipop,

and there was a frog. I wasn't really a frog. It was like a really creepy homunculus thing. And then there was a really creepy. The tallest one was a moon mask. It was very, very wichy. What a shadow? What are you talking about?

Get it. And that is a good question. You see that the little pumpkin that Hootsie was holding is now just resting on the ground. Oh, my gosh. No, I did this. Why did they do that? Why they take her? I don't know.

I thought that if we just all had the tickets and it was fine. So it's because you didn't have a ticket? didn't have a ticket. I mean, we, I'll have a ticket. And he's, give, I know it's an I know you. I, well, what I was gonna say is, that Mr. Garou? That's probably, I, I throw you like way more than 20 electric pieces. Uh, yeah. What I was gonna say is you didn't

even write 20 Electrum on here. You just drew two giant breasts. No, I didn't I wrote Electrum. Look at this right here. You, crumb it. Tell me this is not just two giant breasts. You drew it. I mean, those look like scurvy Dave's mermaid tits, that's right. No, no, look, it's an I and it's an O and it's a U-Tree. No, no. He's never seen any eyes like that. No, look, he said L-X-T-R-M is what he wrote,

so that's how he spelled Electrum. As soon as you get the ticket back to Grico, he may have, who did he return to him? Well, okay, all right. Take the, right. Yeah, I mean, he gave me this. He gave me the old bowtile. He gave me that, what?

I threw one impossible. And you killed a clam. Because they had a bowtie. No, he had a stupid. Anyway, you know who she's gone. Grico, you found your ticket. Oh, my ticket. Oh, my goodness.

It was wrought. It was literally a foot and a half from me. Me old lad of Gideon was going to hold on to it while I wash my hands of candy floss like that young raccoon gentleman. Did they ask you what your prize possession was? possession was? No. Did they present you options to give to them? No, they just took Hootsie! So they stole Hootzee!

They stole Hootzee! Well, that's like Rule 3 or something. They can't steal. I think it a pass though. Well, what? Wait, do they work for the Carnival or not? How does this work? It's punishment. I mean, he did something bad and then that was the punishment. That's... But what did that imply that this is endorsed by Mr. Witch and Mr. Light? Well, now we gotta speak to them. Well, so maybe, maybe we'll go to the big top. You know, I don't know. I'll set frost on fire or something.

It'll be very exciting. You've never done that before. Well, that's why it'll be exciting. It'll be new. The screams will be real. I already know what I'm doing at the big time. Oh, we're doing an individual. Okay.

Well, I thought it was kind of a group thing, but, okay. Yeah, and then, you know, I don't know. You do some car wheels and it'll be very flashy. Well, you know. Listen, listen, we'll come to Monarch. We'll get with Mr. Wedge, Mr. Light. We'll find these couple of, you know, rambunctious scams, the frog thing you're talking about.

How am I? You know, will we get them? It was like a really gross little green thing. Listen. Frog is an insult. I'm sorry, Mr. Froggy, my spirit. I'm sorry for comparing. I'll kneel down and I'll pick up the pumpkin.

I think that you have to carry this for Hoosie. I know you're hurting right now. I'm sorry, friend. You're right, Frosty. If I carry this pumpkin, the logic dictates that I will fulfill her pact, and they will have to return Hootchy at the end of the carnival. According to Fay logic, I think.

There's rules to this, yes. There's definitely a pattern. And when you gave your ticket away, they jumped on us immediately, jumped on you. We're all in this together. You've seen the pain in the others who have experienced this, and now you are yet another victim. Let's go to the big top and see if we can impress Mr. Witch and Mr. Light and win an audience with them. And they can probably help. Do they know what it's going on?

That raises a lot of questions we should be very careful about. If they're in cahoots, then we will... Hoots! Frosted! Oh! You're dumb, but someone so smart. It was right there. It's a different kind of smart.

Hootie the Cahoo-Hoo-Chi-U-T-E-Oh! Hold on, Briggle, that reminds me. Didn't you originally steal Hootzie from this exact carnival eight years ago? Oh, dear! Is this what they call just desserts? I mean, maybe this is sort of the reciprocity thing happening. You know what I mean? Oh, eight years delayed.

Oh, eight years. Eight hags, eight clowns. Look, we can try to get them back. What I'm worried about... It has been eight years. Is that... Yeah. You get to the big top,

I was planning on our big ace up our sleeves was going to be a dancing owlbear. Who could say no to that? That's what I'm saying. She was all toured or four. I mean, we can come up with something decent, I guess. But without Hoosu, she's sort of the centerpiece of the whole operation. Yes, I imagine as a performance by individuals,

they talk about awarding a crown. How are they going to award four of us a crown if we work together? Well, if we appear as carnival a crew, maybe they can give a crown to carnival the crew, and then just, you know, we'll put it on a nice shelf somewhere. We're going to have to play it by year. There's perhaps minutes left before we enter the big time. an attempt to participate.

There you go. You're going to be all right. We're going to solve this. We're going to get Hootsie back, and you're going to feel all the better. Yeah, and you know what? When we find those things that took Hootsie, I'm going to punch one of them. Real hard. I'll hope you.

I mean, you should probably punch the pig, but that frog in a really stupid looking face. Yeah. Can you punch all three of them? I'll punch all three of them. Unless I get the sense of some kind of combined horrible Eldridge, achieve one. If I hit them, I'll explode in the dust. I think that that actually might be the case.

I won't hit them, but if I get the sense that I can hit them and get away with that, it's going to be all right for you. Do you think they have corn frogs in the big chope? I feel confident. We can at least pick one up on the way. I think we do have a little bit of time. Loudly booming over the carnival. You hear the- Now it's on time. You hear the sound of the calliope, boom out, loud.

loud, boisterous music as you hear. Big Top extravaganza, tonight at midnight. Prepare to be delighted. Who will be crowned our Witchlight Monarch? Join us in the Big Top just before dawn to find out. Is it 11?m. It is probably 11.55. Yeah, okay, okay.

All right. Oh wow, it's already midnight. I guess that makes sense. We got here at 8 o'clock and four hours later. Yeah. Just as long as nice. Nobody all fades away and the ghost at midnight. I think we're going to be fine.

Let's make our way. All right. So we're all going to do our best to win. It doesn't matter as long as one of us wins. We can get an audience, hopefully all four of us, with either Mr. Witch and Mr. Lider, both of them. And then we can plead our case about Hootsie. And I guess that half-ling, too.

But, I mean, they can't like that. That's going to be bad for business if they're not associated with the carnival. There are many pleads that I would make. Pleadings. That's not quite the right word. There are many things we need to learn. from the please run no D thank you please the two who run this carnival we need to learn more about what this kanku is up to the the the nature of the centaur

who we promised we would help oh shit somebody keeping track of all these I had it right up here so we got to do with us to the fucking say well all right all right all right hold on I just had The greatest idea. Oh. If we help all of these people get their people back, then they will have to help us get hootsy. Uh-huh.

Imagine if we solve the problem, what's happening with these people, we'll have gotten hootsy back in the first place. Well, I think we can, whatever happens, we can try to make a deal. And that's what I'm... of biking as Frost says. What does that even mean? I don't really know, but he says that when he's good at something. Yeah. Sometimes I also say,

oh, it's a donkey. Oh, I remember. I mean, when we would travel all the time, he would say, I'd be sleeping, it's like, oh, freak out. Oh, look, he's a donkey. I'm like, I know, frost. I've seen don't have many of them in Yulong. They're just hilarious,

especially when they get drunk on fermented fruit. I mean, I know it's quite charming, I've seen so many donkeys. I like donkeys. I like them almost as much as our friend, Cremie likes unicorns. Oh, I really do. I haven't found a good person to tell that to,

but I like unicorns. We do like a car carnival guard. It's two people carrying a stretcher with a dead clown on it. Oh, it is. It is. It is. Oh, no, I wish I could not see. Glatsey the clown.

May he rest in peace. Come on, Grigo. All right. You want one of us to carry you? No, I can walk because I have to carry this pumpkin with me own two hands and me own two feet for Hootsie.

Everyone keep their ticket on them. All right, don't lose it. Let's go. Keep right here. Yes, very smart. My rope doesn't have any pockets. You make your way towards the big top. The roof of this tent

reaches towards the night sky and three swooping peaks topped with spinning golden stars. Painted wooden panels and the tent walls whirl with colorful motion, displaying vibrant circuits' performances. The sound of music and laughter

drifts out through the canvas door. Do you think this costs a ticket? Like a punch? You don't see anyone there taking punches. This feels like one of those free kind of... I would say it's easy to see

that this is a free event. Beginning, middle end, are the free ones. Were there any corn frogs in the way? I would have looked at it. Looking inside, just glancing inside, you see that there are dryad like entities that are making their way throughout and they have little trays of confections and different to drink beverages and food,

candy popcorn, some candy floss. You do see a tray of fairy cakes? I'll look for something savory that would be the closest equivalent to a corn frog. Oh, they have, they definitely have corn frogs on a Oh, I grabbed four. A corn frog, Grigo. Oh, thank you for stay. You're a real lad. Did you get his French dressing?

Uh, yeah. They were surprisingly out. Apparently it had been carted off to a sad child somewhere on the other side of the carnival. Standing behind you, a very tall dryad looks down and says, we've got French dressing. Oh, thank you. Mm-hmm.

Do you want some? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, please. Please, please. He takes an acorn and pour some French dressing into the acorn and passes it to you. Do you have a large size? Enough that we could take a bath in it for a game. Oh yeah, that'd be great. Hmm.

What? Like if you were gonna take like a popcorn bucket and fill it with French dressing, would you be able to do that? If you can give me a minute. Oh, that would be lovely, thank you. What are we going to do with that much French dress? Probably let someone drink it. I don't know. Who's asking?

He makes his way towards. He makes his way towards. You see that there's an exit towards what is clearly the dressing room and the stagehand area. And you even see a ways past, I'll say, the way that it opens, because this is quite a large dryad. The way that you see it open, you can see that there is clearly a carnival wagon that says, Witch-Litechlike Carnival, Mr. Witch and Mr. Light back behind the big top. And you see Burley the bugbear standing outside of the staff tent as well as the dressing area as the flap closes and your site is cut off.

And it takes like five minutes or so, but eventually the dryad comes back out with a very large pumpkin that has been hollowed out and filled with French dressing. Thank you very much. Look at that, Gregor. Oh, they have a room. Wonderful. A dressing room. A dressing room.

Oh, a dressing room. Oh, I'm shocked. Well, we'll do that. Oh, is there with a French church? I got you got you I got you six more corn frogs for your French dressing, Grico. Eat up, buddy, I know how much you love it.

I must have been thinking of something else. That was a violent. I looked at the guy from the pumpkin. I just like, turn around. I place the pumpkin down. I throw the other completely doused corn frog. Thank you, Frosty. There you go, there you go.

Just like Uncle Globo used to make. The tent is filling up quickly. You find your seats, you sit down. You are able to get, have quite a few confections and some bubbling drinks and the mood here is high. The mood of the carnival, even though a clown has been killed recently, is still high. Just a group of children.

Right, so it helped to prove them the hood. It was a horrible showman. This show's good. I don't want to lose. Clothing was my favorite. Because it's my favorite. But it is filling up very quickly. It feels like most of the people at the carnival have made their way here.

This is quite the attraction. As the lights dim, lights dim and a hush falls over the crowd. A second later a spotlight illuminates a live elven figure sitting in a silver hoop, suspended above the center ring by silk robes. The elf wears a dazzling suit of diamond-pained mirrors and a pair of butterfly wings. His sceptor is topped with a spinning vein. Welcome one and all to this evening's extravaganza.

I am Miss Delight. Prepare to be delighted! He spreads his arms out and begins to fly out into the air, the weather vein spinning in one hand. It is with an unfortunate tone that we must set the stage today with an immemorial for Clutsey the clown. May he rest in peace.

They even like that guy? But now let's have fun as the carnival begins. He slowly lowers himself down. He is incredibly thin, incredibly tall. His face is completely painted with opalescent makeups. He is bright and glamorous. And he looks like being in the spotlight is his favorite thing in the entire world.

As he spins his weather vein and smiles, he rushes up to people and makes bubble animals just by simply blowing on his weather vein. The kids cheer and clap. He looks towards one of the people in the crowd, and he says, what is your wildest dream? What is your wish? and they look up at him almost stunned.

I know what it is. I need you to roll a D8. One of you, just roll a D8. Oh, a D8. Do you get it? I have to find the switching between two documents. The Firefly Circus, let it begin. He blows once again a massive bubble out of his mouth

and you see inside of it hundreds of fireflies. Swirling around and sparkling. As it flies up into the air, he slowly sinks back into the shadows. The bubble pops, the firefly, shoot all over the room as they begin to, as they begin to perform a circus for you. You see a genie or an ogre dressed like a gin as he makes his way out and sets up these tiny ferris wheels and a hamster that's dressed like a lion. And these fireflies perform a small circus for everyone as everyone claps and cheers. Oh, Tony Hamster! You enjoy the Firefly circus for a bit.

Mr. Light eventually comes back out. He performs a routine as he dangles from silk and ropes. He sings a song that's almost a haunting melody where everybody in the place begins to lull back and forth, almost as if in a trance, just staring at his utter perfection. faction before pointing at yet another person in the crowd and asking them what their wildest dreams are, please roll another D8. I got this one. If it's a one roll again.

If it's a one roll again, I understand the reality of the universe. Ah, where's my D8? I want a very specific D8. There is. Well, it's a one. It's one again. Should I re-roll? R-roll.

If it's the same number, re-roll. Full. Just for you, the Sater Fiddler takes the stage, and you're, and you're watch as a sater, fiddler, moves out into the middle. He is quite beautiful. His outfit is covered in nothing but vines and flowers. No, no cloth, no leathers, no shoes. He's dressed purely in greenery as he pulls out a fiddle made from curling oak in wood. It looks as if it was naturally formed and grown into a fiddle, not carved in any way whatsoever. The strings on it are these beautiful pot vines as he begins to play.

The bow that he's using is not like any bow that you've ever seen. The, what would normally be hair, horse hair, normally, is a beautiful stained glass-like butterfly wing that he uses to stroke the vines as he begins to play. And up out of the ground, arise what look like small plant-like creatures that dance and move. And as they move towards people in the crowd, they're overcome with this,

this feeling of the need to dance. I need you all to roll a wisdom saving throw for me, please. Oh, this isn't nefarious. 13. Am I proficient at that? 15, sorry, I can't do math. 15. Should we be twisting?

That's up to you. We got them. We got them. Seven. I don't want my mind to be addled. I'm gonna never let it ride. Eight. 22.

Grico, Kremi. You are not touched by this music. You're not overcome by it, but Gideon and Frost, this music is powerful. You feel, even though there are no drums, the stomping of these dancing plant creatures as they make their way throughout the crowd resonates within your chest and you feel the beat,

the internal beat, as you are overcome with the need to dance. You both rise, you among many, many others in this place, as you feel the need to dance. What are y'all doing? You don't feel compelled? You can't recognize it? You don't feel compelled to slide to the left?

No. Sline to the right now. Oh, yeah. Grab your hands three times. I like the Gideon's doing like a little shimmy, like a little shimmy shape, kind of sort of deal, but... Yeah. I mean, are you being magically compelled to do this, or, I mean, the song's alright, but it's not that, I mean, it's not that good.

I can stop it any time. Yeah. I don't want to stop. I, listen to the music, though. It's a bit. banger. You know, kind of slaps a little

bit, cremied. I can't stop. But I don't want to. The song continues. And eventually, the Seder makes his way back behind the curtains, and Mr. Light comes back out. He performs another routine where he's hanging

from these beautiful silver rings, and he's flitting and dancing between them. All the while, glitters raining down over the crowd, butterflies a light into the air and flap their wings, the iridescent stained glass nature of them, catching the lights and causing a kaleidoscope of rainbow light to wash over the crowd. The sounds of ooze and oars are booming throughout this place. It is a spectacle as he once again moves towards someone in the crowd. This time, he descends from the ceiling right in front of you, Frost, and he asks you that question.

let me know what it is that you dream. And without even saying a word, you feel your mind go to all of these places. I need you to roll at D8 for me, please. And for my rolls, one plus two is three. Oh. Three. He smiles and winks at you.

And you see that he looks at you and then he looks at the rest of you. And you see a smile on his face that he hasn't done to any of the other contestants. almost as if recognizing you, having heard about you, noticing you, as he once again ascends back to the top of the big top. And a small hat box is brought out into the very center of the big top. And it sits there.

Everybody watches. There's almost an uncomfortable silence for a moment. As one minute, two minute passes. And then finally, the hat box begins to rise up on a silver thread. It looks like sparkling spider silk that is carrying the hat box up towards the, up towards the top of the big top. And you see that this hat box has a lid on either side. And just as it lifts about halfway up through the big top, both of the lids fall off. And inside of it is a tiny halfling contortionist that begins to bend and twist themselves inside of this

hat box. The box far too small for them. but their lithe abilities allowing them to contort themselves into all of these different positions. They make the letters of the alphabet. And then you hear a chorus of very small chipmunks off to the side, begin to sing nursery rhymes and children's songs. As the half-ling contortionist performs visually what the songs are portraying inside this tiny hatbox in the very center of this big top. And everybody cheers.

It is quite amazing. That's pretty good. Look at that halfling was in that box? Wow. Gramee, this is so much better than our carnival. It's remarkably better. It's just amazing. What a halfling sure can't hold their breath long enough.

Well, I don't see you. What? Over the box drink? Yeah, yeah. That was the whole drink. We always, we went through so many escape artists. And look, I don't see you find any singing chipmunks to bring in the car. That's your whole deal.

Oh, no, I just had the one gerbil that tried to sing, and it would just, It's dark gerbils world. It's dark cherville's world. And then repeat. Yeah, that's all I can sing. Those were such beautiful singing chipmunks. Also, we're like four performances in. By now, I feel like you would already be escorting most of the audience out.

for the next round of the show and collecting the nickels. Exactly right. How are you to make money if your show goes on and on and on and you've got to cycle the crowd through? The entire crowd is clearly here. There's no crowd to cycle through.

This is such an extravaganza that no one was willing to miss this as once again Mr. Light descends from the roof of the big top reaches out to an audience member and I need to roll a DA for me, please. I've rolled mine too. Five.

Oh, four. You would get five. A troop of eight, no wait, seven clowns. Emerges from the back room. You can clearly see that there should have been eight, but one of them, dear Clutsey, is missing. As they pull a large cannon towards the center of the big top, and you see that there is a large sign on it

that says, rest in peace, Clutzy, you will be missed. As all seven of the clowns climb into the top of the cannon, into the barrel of the cannon, Mr. Witch descends from the ceiling again on that same silken spider's thread, descending like the fool hanging by his leg as he ignites a match and lights the cannon. He takes the handle and he begins to spin and spin as the cannon.

turning and turning and turning. With a loud pop, a clown shoots into the air doing flips and acrobatic tricks as it pops and burst into glitter. Another one does the same. They tumble, they dive. That one did. It's not death.

It's not just. It's not just. It's like glass and fire which you fucking weird. Why does it always happen? Oh God, do you think it's because I prompted this one? My greatest desire is to be, is to slaughter? A troupe of clown? I'm not fucking number five is troop of eight clowns

launching themselves from a magic cannon. I love it. Wait, do you think that my desire actually had the cannon blow? There were supposed to be eight clowns tonight, Gideon. You're fucking with the numbers. Why do you hate clowns? What's the clowns do to you?

It's not, I don't, I don't, what? Tell us about your, oh. I actually heard Gideons. I know all Gideon hates clowns. Why? What? We don't have a time for this. This is truly an insane clown porc.

Oh, wow. I'm just. They're flying into the air, and just so I have the correct visual. Yes, they do disappear into fireworks. They do look like they disappear into fireworks. You're seeing that as they explode into glitter and lights, it creates butterflies and stars and beautiful flowers as it just,

shimmer, and then you notice as just as quickly, they tumble and land with a flourish on the ground before replacing themselves into the cannon. As Mr. Light spins it and spins it and spin it, spins it, they shoot this way and that bursting and then materializing back on the ground to do it all over again. Can I request that the seventh one just to really salt the wound for Gideon be the face of Clancy as it like famous? Absolutely. No, what I will say is it the very No, frosty, it's no. At the very, very end, they all load themselves back into the cannon and Mr. Light spins them even faster,

even faster, even faster. They all shoot out at the same time. And in unison, their beautiful fireworks spectacle creates an immemorial to Clutsey. His face smiling, his nose honking as they all tumble down into a solemn prayer-like motion as a hush falls over the crowd, a moment of silence for a clown lost this day.

Who knew he was allergic to impossible's? You know, I'm just gonna say it. They seem weirdly okay that he's dead. I mean, he was clearly murdered. They don't care. They always would be good at crime. They're wearing makeup. Look at their faces and they're actually doing like.

Lie by R.G. Exactly. Look, get out of wanting murder a long time ago. We went clean with the carnival, you understand? I don't understand. I think this is another manslaughter situation. Clownslaughter. What?

Clownslaughter. You're right. They're not men. What if it was the pig, the frog, and the moon? What did you mean? What killed Clatsy if it wasn't Gideon? It was really Gideon. If it wasn't Gideon, especially not because audience suggested.

I said, I said, I said, to get to go next to him with the stupid tie. I thought it was a stupid necktie, not a bowtie. Boatty, bowties are cool, grimy. I feel like we're going to have this conversation. Oh, oh, the memoriam is still going on. Oh, the chipmunks are saying, it's well gone. I'm just saying, like, it's always like. Bridge over troubled water begins.

You know, yeah, bridge over. It just feels like this happens a lot. and they was ready to have an immemorial for a clown. Isn't that kind of a win? You're all missing a huge opportunity here. As they walk away, they sing send out the clowns. They do, yes, you're right. That's exactly what happens.

As the clown extravaganza comes to a close, once again, another audience member is queried. Please roll a D8 for me, please. Oh, as you. What haven't we gotten? Two? We got two. Three, six, seven, and eight.

Three. Immediately, you hear flight of the bumblebee begin to play. As out from the curtains behind, you expect to see something significantly larger. What's happening? You don't see anything at all until you realize it is a pixie chariot race. As two pixies, one in red, one in blue, begins to race around the entire big top. Some of the dryads that are milling about begin to start taking bets. Are you for blue? Are you for red? Who's gonna win the Pixie Chariot race?

Who? Place your bets now. I'm putting a gold piece on red by wide margin. I'll put his bet on red. 20 election pieces on blue. Blue's got it. Now, red, are you kidding? 20, double or nothing, 40 election pieces. No, last time I took an I owe you from you.

I'm not getting, no, this is a Mr. Garoo's, this isn't Mr. Garoo's goals. It's my gold. You realize looking at this that the pixies are, their chariots are pulled by weasels. Oh, what are the odds? Are there any odds list it anywhere? No. Oh, well, I guess, I mean, I don't know.

It's your favorite color. Blue! 40, 40, 40, electric on blue. Oh, 40 Electrum. What do you think? You don't have it. You gave me all the gold. I'm with Gid.

I'm on red. Red. I'm on blue. I'm on red. Well, when I win, I'll get all your gold probably. I don't know how it works. Yeah, that is how it works. It goes into a pool and then it's distributed across the winter.

So if it's view, you get literally all of it. And if it's us, we have to buy three weights. Look at everybody betting. We're just bending in a pool here. Oh, look at that bearful. He's like, God, there's a huge pile of platinum pieces. He's sloshing around that yield fashion, really. Gosh, that brownish tan suit, though, is all the tacky.

It doesn't even fit. Oh, Finky Luke's caught you all, man. And over here, he's having a good tall. There's an ork talking about boogles. The Pixies race, the weasels are madly running out of control as the chariots move and move and move and move. I need you to roll, I need you to roll a D100. Come on, please.

Come on, Blue. I got you. 15. 15. Red wins by a hair. As the weasels move this way and that, Blue is in the lead. Blue is going to make it, but what's that? A small rock?

The weasel stubs its toe on the rock, flips into the other weasel, knocks the chariot over. Pixies are flying just in time for Red to slide in and take the win. The crowd goes wild, but not as wild as you would hope. I need to roll another D-10, or D20. I cheer out loud pumping my fist and going, yeah, run! And as I do, flames will shoot out from like my hair, my shoulders, my fist.

Literally, Fierro. Roll and a performance check for me, please. 91. Oh, amazing. You, the cheers erupt, but it's not as loud as you would expect. It is very clear that most of the people in this place had voted on blue. on blue. The payout for red is going to be quite substantial. Yeah!

Oh, he's beautiful. 13. 13. 13. Okay, well, I got a natural one, so that works out well for you. As it is very clear that your exuberance at winning this and this display of fire has caught the attention of Mr. Light. As he looks towards you, he raises his weather vane wand and shoots a stream of bubbles at you that make the shape

of bubbly flames, is it engulfs and swirls around you, his laughter booming out throughout this thing. He seems very pleased with you. Please move the happiness meter up by one. Oh. This is how we do. It's like a Hades from America. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He once again moves towards someone and calls out one of their greatest desires. Please roll at D8. How much gold that we won? You'll find out after the big topic extravaganza. You can collect your wreaths. winnings as you exit the 10th. Did we get four?

We did. We did. You're at six, seven, and eight are the only ones left. Thank God we're not in combat. You got an eight? Eight, yes. A pink silk ribbon descends from the roof of the big top. As an elf ballerina spins down the length of the ribbon,

the music is slow and soft and beautiful as she begins to dance. She's entrancing the way that she moves. It's almost as if time slows down with her every motion. She waves her hand and creates a beautiful magical wardrobe that opens in front of her. And these dancing interactive costumes appear as she slowly melds into them and becomes a different character. A beautiful Rococo Queen as she bounds around and a dress that has hips for days. And then she finds another outfit, a forest fairy. As she slips into it and begins to glide through the air, spinning on her tiptoes.

She is hands down one of the most beautiful women that you've ever seen in your entire life. Gideon, you're sweating profusely. I wish I was that black leotard. She makes eye contact. Slip right into me. Don't think about it. I just wish it was the case.

Oh. That's a picture. It does make eye contact with you. And she smiles softly at you as she winks and continues to dance. It's very beautiful. It calms the crowd a little bit after the pixie race. And you all feel yourselves relaxed as you listen to the beautiful music and you watch the live dancing of this elven ballerina and her magical wardrobe of animated outfits.

Oh, it's quite nice. Yeah, that was quite nice. Eventually, Mr. Witch descends again, or Mr. Light descends again, and pulls another hope from someone, another dream. You seem quite a attractive. Roll a D4 and odd will be seven, or odd will be seven and even will be eight.

Perhaps you'll be a . Well, seven's all that's left, right? Seven and eight. No, so six and six and seven. Six and seven. or happy you'll be able to meet her in the staff area. Oh, yeah, I'm excited for the staff area. Seven, seven, lucky seven, oh.

Oh, that's all, Mr. Bear Man, guys, seven. With this, Mr. Light announces audience participation is a must for the next act. As about 15 goblin jugglers make their way out onto the floor. They begin to juggle large batons as they're juggling four, five at a time, as Mr. Witch calls out, to begin throwing items at the goblins. They'll be able to catch them and juggle them.

Oh, can you juggle totems? And I'm going to pull off all of my totems, not my Albear Whistle, but I'm gonna pull off my Froggymeth, my Garallin and my rook, two-headed vulture rook totems, and juggle all of them and get a little bit of spirit, magic going. Roll a performance check.

And then toss it to them. Roll a performance check at advantage. because of your innate juggling abilities. Okay, natural one, okay, just why we roll it advantage. Natural 20, you gotta give it out. You got to give it out. You got to get that. You do, you pull, you pull out your totems

and you begin to juggle. You're doing so well that some of the crowd is so, so interested in what you're doing that they look away from the big, the goblin jugglers in front of them. You hear cloblin jugglers. You hear claspers. clapping and cheers and you have clearly gained the attention

of Mr. Light as he looks towards you with a smile, his pure white teeth shining in the light of the big top. He is incredibly happy with you as he watches you juggle out your totems. The goblins dance and tumble in a way to get to the places they need to be to catch them. They add them into their juggling routine and then toss them back at you.

They even toss some of their their totems back at you and you begin this juggling back and forth between them. Mr. Light lets out a loud cheer of happiness as you do this and the happiness meter goes up by one. And I think all this time I would probably be having like spirit forms like Udiar, like these blue spectral monstrosities kind of rising up, maybe following the totem and almost kind of looks like kind of crashing and moving around like some Arden-wheeled ship. If you... save it for your show. Save it for your show.

Oh, just, you know, it's teasing them. The prestige comes later. Do you want a crowbar or any of my things? Oh, do you hit the saw? I have a steel mirror. How about this? And you'll see this huge knife, like, start to fly towards you to the giant.

You can joke knives, right? I have a little, it'll just be a big, I have this minor illusion. I'm just kidding. This lasts for about 10 more minutes. before all the goblins finish their juggling and they take a bow. Nautly deadlines!

They're all bowing on one leg as they have their batons balanced on their back leg as they take their bow. They have batons balanced on their heads along their backs. They whip them into the air, catch them all, turn and exit the big top. Everybody claps and cheers.

As Mr. Light pulls the final act from one of the members of the audience. And you see the lights go dark, completely pitch black. What do that? It's happening here. As all of a sudden on one side, a flash of fire ignites on a torch. Fire,

Poo! All around in a circle, just torches of flame, undulate and move. Everything is silent. As all of a sudden in the very center of the room, you see a large roaring tower of flame that bursts up towards the very top and illuminates Mr. Light. As he dangles there, just mere inches from the flickering tip of the flame,

it illuminates him in a way that you can fully see the sparkling abilities of his outfit covered in gold and jewels and glitters. He is quite spectacular as he rolls around on this silken red thread, pretending to be turned in a spit. but as if he's enjoying the licking of the flame. Before the flame slowly goes back down and you see standing there in the very middle, a teafling holding a torch

as he places it into his mouth and breathes out a large breath of fire that takes the shape of an ancient gold dragon that spins through the air and whips around everyone. Once again, he places the flame in his mouth and blows it out and you see dancing fire methods as they appear in the sky doing a fun jig. And for the next 10, 15 minutes,

people will call out things that they want to see as this teething fire breather breathes in the flame and shoots it out towards the crowd, creating these beautiful flaming depictions of real-life creatures or events, sometimes almost as if conjuring minor illusions and performing full displays of storytelling

with just his fire breath. One of the gondola swans. And you watch as from his mouth erupts what is clearly feathering riding down a twisting a twisting lazy river. Oh, wow, he did the river too. That's a river of fire.

It's like feathering in the nine hills. I guess that's true. Unicorn, unicorn. They already sends unicorns. I want to see more of them. He takes one of the torches again and places it into his mouth. And as he pulls it out, he lets out a large rush of fire. You see a flaming bull chasing hundreds of unicorns into the sea.

Oh, no. And if you got that reference, we can be friends for it. I got the reference. No. Oh. Pumpkin, Adulahon, headless, churchman with the pumpkin and the fire. That's a good one. That is easy enough as once again,

this time he takes two flaming torches and places it into his mouth and he lets out two simultaneous fire breaths. One of them is a horse. The other one is a headless man chasing after a rolling pumpkin. And as he catches it, he tosses it onto his head as he grabs onto the side of the saddle and flips himself on

to the steed and rushes straight at you, Grico. You watch as this Doolahan is charging towards you. And as it gets to you, it looks like it's about to run you down as it disappears in a puff of smoke. Do you have one or can I go again? Oh, please, go again. Mr. Light and Mr. Witch, the fair runners of this carnival. I would like you to roll a persuasion check at advantage,

but he does it. As you see as he picks up two, as he picks up two torches and places them in his mouth, the entire room alights in flame and light. And you see that Mr. Light is dangling from the very top, just spinning on this beautiful, almost like a silken seat. As he smiles down at you, he catches your eyes and you can see the approval on his face

as this teafling conjures the image of Mr. Light, very clearly there, as he's looking dapper and powerful, as he struts around performing magics. And behind him, someone you have never seen before, a plump man with a top hat, as he spins his pocket watch. He has a somber look on his face,

almost the exact opposite to Mr. Light, who is jovial and flamboyant. Mr. Witch seems much more cool, calm, and calculated as the two of them intermingle with each other. You watch as the weather vein, as Mr. Light's weather vein, changes his expressions from incredibly sad to incredibly happy in the flick of emotion.

As Mr. Witt, or as Mr. Witch opens up his pocket watch, and you see the spinning dial, and it changes time where once there was no carnival, as the dial begins to spin, the carnival begins to appear. And as it goes back towards 12 again, it disappears into his pocket watch as if conjured purely by the,

the magic held within. They both take a bow in their flaming, in their flaming forms, and the light puffs out. The Teefling takes a bow, lets out a roaring flame across the crowd that says, crowning of the Witchlight Monarch right just before dawn. And everybody cheers and claps.

Mr. Light descends from the top of the big top, and he looks out to the audience and proclaims that the final act is one to be performed by the members of the carnival. Who is capable of entertaining the crowd? I got an 18 on my persuasion. Okay, thank you. Oh, we are.

Oh, we are. Tons of people here. And old pros. Here, I think I get to be able to the best. Obrose, goblin. Gaubleon. I'm using my minor allusion to like make a big flashing beyond arrow pointing at us.

And I flame up. I'll have a large blue a blue garrallan spirit appear above me and with these wooden tribal drums and spirit and it'll be hammering it and like drumming to draw attention to us. And I'm kind of clapping along with the rhythm. I just.

You do that, but you see that, You see that his eyes linger on you, still thinking about the request of Mr. Witch and Mr. Light being performed in flame. And it does seem to have an effect on him as he hushes the crowd and he takes his weather vein and he calls out the carnival will choose. As he takes it and he spins it on his index finger and he watches the weather vane spins and spins and spins and spins until it comes to a stop pointing directly at the four of you.

He takes a bow and motions towards you. indicates for you to take your place on the floor of the big top. What will you perform for the crowd? I don't have any ideas. I don't know why you chose to do this if we didn't have any ideas. I mean, I have ideas, but what are we going to do for all of us? What are we mean? Something that involves everybody.

It's just that we practice. Oh, okay. Right? Yeah, just all you practice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Kremi, you got it. What did we practice? Oh, Kremi's got it. Oh, the Hootie was the key to all this. It was like, John.

I mean, I don't know. We can just, you know, do a bunch of fantastical shit. I can do some fire stuff. I can whip the chains around. You know, snap crackle pop. That kind of thing. Throw people around. Carwheel.

Jump pretty high. I've never seen you Carwheel before. You haven't seen me carwheel before? No, I've never seen you call wheel. That makes sense. I've never done it. But I assume that I would be able to. That's a character.

I'm going to turn off a head. Oh, it's no. It's roadplay a little more. little philosophy uses a little Javaxis. I don't have any of that. Yeah, I don't know either. Yeah, just nothing involving clowns. You know, we got to keep them away,

or they're going to see that I just inadvertently, horribly manslaughter clowns without any regard. I'll feel like there's some, well, you got really drunk once, like really, really drunk more than usual. Yesterday? Well, no. The day before yesterday? Well, yes, but not this drunk.

The day before that? And you told me your whole backstory with clowns. And that's why, I think that's why. you have a subconscious urge to murder them. But anyway, I've had a lot of circus peanuts. I don't mean the actual peanuts. I mean that candy that's really bad, but I can't stop beating them for some reason.

He said he said peanuts, right? Yeah, peanuts. Woo! Who! The Bachelorette party's over there. Okay. That's pretty good. Thank you.

Oh, no, we're down. You are now down on the big top stage. The crowd is cheering for you. Mr. Light has just announced your arrival, and a hot just falls over the crowd as they wait for whatever it is that you plan to perform. All right. Just follow my lead. Okay.

Can do. It's like the old usual carnival and crew special. Let's just do our normal act. All right. Okay. Again, when I say Flameo, you know what that means. Hotman. Exactly right.

Okay. Welcome, one and all. to this carnival has been lovely, but we are simple performers from Carnival Le Crewe, the second greatest carnival in all of the mantis. Yeah, cheer! Please enjoy the performance. And I will wave my cane, and you will see

these four kind of glowing orbs appear above my head, all four different colors. They'll be sort of like a reddish, orangeish, neon, that sort of floats above Gideon, there'll be a green one that floats above. Frost, there'll be a blue one that floats above Grico, and there'll be a purple-ish pink magenta one that floats above me.

And I'll say, introducing Mr. Grico Grin-Gier-Grin and his wonderful monster spirits. And I'm going to do my, probably do a little bit of juggling, but this time it's going to be way more impressive, where I'm going to basically, blow all of my spell slots. Maybe not, maybe I won't. But, because I'm probably gonna get in combat.

But I'm gonna blow. I would say for this, you don't need to. Okay. The innate magic that swirls throughout this carnival, especially the big top, you're able to harness to do whatever it is that you want to try to do. You will be rolling for each one of your performances, you'll be rolling a performance check.

Yeah. At advantage because of how impressed Mr. Light is with you currently. And so I will do juggling and then it will, you'll see a huge froggy myth, a huge girt, which is basically a big frog monster with three eyes and tentacles, a big garralin, which is a huge fanged gorilla monster with forearms and a long tail.

And then a rook, which is basically a giant, two-headed vulture monster, kind of a flare-up. And then there'll be spirit energy, and I will go into a number of, Steve Irwin-ask, or like stories, but I'll start saying, now for this first. Take you, Crummy, our ringleader.

And now, in certain parts of avatrous, they keep an ear to the ground. And do you know what it is, boys and girls and everyone watching? Oh no. Do you all feel it? I feel it. Minor illusion. The hush falls over the crowd as everyone is feeling their seats. They can feel the rumbling.

There is no rumbling, but the sound of it is making them feel like the entire thing is shaking. Everybody gasps and stares. Everyone's so nervous they can't even speak. Oh, it's coming. And some call it the land shark. Those who are uncreative will prefer the music of Jimmy Buffet. I don't know, just go away. He's the ghost like keeping his job.

Others who don't know how to pronounce anything, call it a boule. But that's entirely wrong. Oh no, it's the fearsome planet. And a huge blue spectral bullet spirit. This massive, like part shark, part, like almost rhinoceros looking creature with a huge long beak almost or bill

will burst out of the ground a spirit of it and then crash down and I'll try to have the spiritual energy make it look like it's erupting out of the earth and crashing back down. And that'll be my portion for this. The entire crowd erupts and cheer. Well, roll performance jump. Oh.

You're at advantage because Mr. Light is happy with you. Okay, two. I'm twist ten, can I me I twist it? You may I twist it? Come on! Roll a D-100 for me, please. Natural 20. Ew! And then a D-100?

Yeah. 57. I can re-roll if you mean. I don't think we've gotten that one, yeah. You cannot say the beginning of any words. Thank you. Thank you. Eku!

Ackoo, Remy. Thank you, Gregor. That was quite phenomenal. Next, you will have mysteries from far beyond our own realities. The wonderful mystical mind of Morning Frost. The crowd cheers. Ooh, ah. Ah.

Ah. Rusty. Ah. Oh. Hello. We know not each other. You're probably wondering who is speaking to you now. What's been happening?

I've been looking around for something high up, like 30 feet up, that I would be able to get to in this time. What kind of thing? Like a trapeze platform. Yeah, easily. Okay. Sure. It's there.

You've seen many great performances and attractions, many delights this evening. However, I would point to your... attention to the fact that all of them require a semantic component, a verbal piece, some sort of performative art. Watch now and amazement. The lights dim, and you're surrounded in a beautiful jade light, flex of gold. As I disappear before your very eyes. Misty step, I disappear to the trapeze spot.

I would have been gone. Where do you go? I'm up here. The light shifts to you. It actually shifts somewhere over again. Oh, there. And then it finds you. Through the power of my mind, I have transported myself

and feeling the natural magic of the space. I will once again demonstrate this impossible power. And I disappear back to where I was standing. Oh, where do you go? And once again, the light is going everywhere, trying to find you. It can't find you. And I'm back to exactly where I was standing. Yeah, but it doesn't know that, so it's looking at me.

I'm here, I'm here. Oh, and so I'll find you. Roll a performance check at advantage. 18. You are easily able to do this disappearing act, and the crowd is loving it. They, um, especially the light having a hard time finding you, just shows just how disappeared you were. Um, the crowd gasps and awes.

And there is a, there is an energy that is just building in this place. This feels like a true ending performance. And all the while, Mr. Light is dangling from the very top of the big top, looking incredibly pleased and incredibly curious. I'm not going to push it. Mr. Light. I would ask that I know this is an audience

participation performance but for my next act I would ask that you join me down here in the circles Mr. A Roll of Persuasion Check Oh Oh

Rusty I I leave in I mean Mm-hmm ooh And I'm gonna cast a guy inside now Persuasion?

May I twist this? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Roll a D-100? 66. Oh, yeah. Two-threes. Same thing.

Fate. You were once again overcome by the concept of death that is invariably sad. And you burst into tears. Mr. Light. What did you get for your for your soy sticks?

He rolled a natural one. So funny enough, he does actually he does actually descend from the rafters as he stands before you. Actually, he stands behind you. His arms outspread the spinning. You're able to actually look at this weather vein now. It is topped with beautiful iridescent butterfly wings

that spin in an almost like an orb of glitter. And you see that it is thrumming a derrick word with magical power. I love to thrum. I see that Mr. Light has come down. And Mr. Light, if you won't mind, I'm going to attempt to pry into your mind. He looks at you curiously, but he nods. Mr. Light is willing volunteer. We've never spoken before.

we've never met before. I'm just getting to know you. Hi, it's pleasure to meet you. He reaches out his long, slender hand. The proper hand. I take his hand and I'm doing that mentalist thing where I'm like sort of like getting a sense of him, not just like shaking his hand,

but like also making him comfortable, starting to touch his shoulder. Mr. Laine, you can relax. There's nothing to be afraid of. Here, help me understand a little bit about yourself. You haven't spoken this, this entire performance. What would you...

Do you have anything that you would want to say to the audience? He looks about... Well, I think we have someone running for the witch-light monarch, don't you, audience? And he smiles and winks and everybody cheers and claps.

I'm gonna use the same kind of billet effect to basically just me spammy mold earth to kind of... to have like... the little puffs of explosions behind Frosty. You speak truth. You speak truth.

He speaks truth, everyone. The crowd erupts. You, uh, if you don't mind my asking, how long have you been running the show in the big top here at the Witchlight Carnival? And I'm continuing to sort of walk around him and get a sense of him. And it's in this moment that I'm going to cast detect thoughts and get a sense of his mood in this moment. You're just trying to get a sense of his mood. Top level. I'm not probing deeper.

He announces over 100 years. And his surface level thoughts are, hmm, very talented. But a little too curious for a cat. And over 100 years, what a magical experience. You look so young for 100 years. I'm trying to get a little bit of a laugh or a chuckle out of the audience.

And they do, and you're still probing his thoughts? Immediately, his thoughts change from being concerned about your curiosity to, I do look great today. I wonder if it's the fit on my new outfit. Darking the lights, with your permission, the lights dim. I will now probe into the mind of, Mr. Light and attempt to pluck a hidden truth from the mind of Mr. Light.

You feel him tense up a little bit, but he doesn't move away. I will stand in front of him and for a beat while everyone is silent, I will probe deeper. He can choose to resist and make an intelligent saving throw, or I can ask him. a question he must ask truthfully. Or, if he's immune to charm, nothing happens. Yeah. I have always ruled that whether

somebody is immune to charm or not, they can still choose to fail, he is going to choose to fail. He chooses to fail. That is usually how this trick goes. We'll reach forward with my mind, and I will you will hear in the back of your mind, I know what you're doing.

Be careful. Oh, that's fine. Seems okay. And I will ask my question sincerely. Trying to think of how to word it in exactly the right order.

Playing with fire braves. That's my job. She's doing them all out. Oh, it's too spooky. What? Can you tell me of somebody that you lost? Your greatest loss?

You see a look of sadness on his face. And instead of answering you, he flicks the witchlight vein, and you see a major image appear up in the sky, of him as a young boy, all dressed in black, standing over the standing over the recently interred ground of his parents

at his parents' funeral. I want you to move the happiness tracker down by two notches. Back to square one. That major image having appeared, I'll turn to the audience. Miseries graciously. Showing us his

greatest loss, his parents. I'm sure that's why he strives to spread joy to all of you. Thank you, Mr. Light, for participating. Thank you for letting me

demonstrate the powers of my magics. The crowd claps lightly and people look around. What was that? That was fucking sad. Who else to see that kind of question? Is Mr. Light going to be okay?

And you see his Mr. Light slowly. He looks at you and he, um, he looks at you. His eyes linger on you for a little bit. I want you to roll a, um, I want you to roll an inside check for me please. Finally, something higher than 12. Uh, 22. You see a very heavy, he, he's, he's, he's, smiling at you and on the surface he looks like he's pleased with you as he claps loudly for your performance.

But as his eyes linger on you, you see a look of very heavy suspicion and a flicker of anger behind his eyes as he slowly ascends back to the top of the big top. Oh, yeah. You're going to want to ascend up there pretty quick, Mr. Light, because the fire rises. Oh, good. Oh, yeah, hey. I'll jump in front of where Frost and he was and just fire off to, not really like fire him off, but like, you know, like spurt fire a little bit. Mr. Green's goal! And a free blood runs in his veins, giving him extraordinary powers of fire

and extraordinary feats of strength. Take it away, Mr. Gold. And I will demonstrate both, Red. Now, but you don't want to be late to catch your rad. And I'm gonna blast, I'm gonna like, you know, just like really turn on. I'm gonna heat up. I'm gonna not get covered in fire, but all of my kind of more free-y features are gonna inflame and embleazen.

And the fire off of me is gonna be like licking out. As it turns on. And then I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna punch. pop out my, pull forward my arms, and you're gonna start to hear a whir-kicking from my manacles and a sound that you guys would have heard before, but as the fire starts to dim down just a bit

into my chains as the ends heat up, Kicks in as my chains blast up. The chains ignite at the tips. red hot eyes, I look out at the crowd as I start to spin them and slowly I slam the ends into the ground as I start to pick up my pace behind me to the left to the right slam small explosions eat into the ground blackened darkened spots as I spin and I whirl with with almost an acrobatic grace hopefully as the ends slam and explode I do a final forward spinning flip the spin in the air as I land forward, the ends smash into the ground.

And with a quick pull, I signed my signature as I've just drawn the emblem of the La Cronival Recru, into the ground. Roll a performance check at advantage. My final signature was Cremie's mustache on his smiling crocodile face. If that's our emblem. I love it. If that doesn't get them. All twist.

I'll twist. Roll a D100. Yeah. One more twist. One more twist. All right. That was great. That was great.

All right, I'll roll two. One more twist. One more twist. I'm gonna roll three D-500. I'm not even good at this story. You gotta do it. You gotta do it. You gotta do it.

That was, you deserve better. Well, thank you, Chad. Roll three D-100s. Uh, it would be like a performance, it'd be a 10. Funny enough, the, uh, the DC was only 10. Yeah. Hey! God.

Uh, all right. 43. Ruin! Your skin now becomes hot pink instead of red. Oh, I don't know. I actually kind of, yeah, my work for the act. I did that. Oh no, it's part of this check,

63? Come on, Bobby, let's go, Bobby. All water tastes oily. Okay. I got that one. That sucks. And 83. I roll that one again.

66. I think we just got that one. Oh, you made it. Yeah, should do another one. That one broke me. 75. You hate all children and animals. The crowd cheers.

They burst into, please mark these down because they are going to be relevant what your effects are. They're not going to stop. Oh, I-oh. You, the crowd burst into massive cheers and Mr. Light slowly descends halfway from the top of the big top.

He announces another round of applause for Carnival a crew. What a spectacular performance from these strapping young lads. They are definitely in the running for the Witchlight Monarch. And if you would like to see the crowning, please be here just before dawn. Four hours hence, enjoy the carnival. May your motions rise. The lights begin to swirl and rainbow magic moves this way and that. You are not ushered off of the stage, but you are off of the middle of the big top, but

you notice that everyone else is beginning to be ushered out as Mr. Light slowly descends off to the side and you see as he makes his way over to a very large, very muscular bug bear. He leans in, he looks towards you with a look of, the look of uncertainty as he leans into this bug bear and whispers some kind of order. The bug bear nods as Mr. Light, uh, lively, um, skips out of the tent. The bug bear moves towards you. And he moves towards you.

And with us, he crosses his arms over his chest. He looks at each one of you and he says, Mr. Witch and Mr. Latt have requested, uh, an audience with you in their carriage. And that is where we'll end the session. Hot damn. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Thank you so much for. listening to the Legends of Aventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Higher

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