Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 52 | Feywild D&D Campaign | Garden of Beatin'

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

The Krew pursues mushrooms in hopes of unlocking things deep within themselves...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/SZBHEo-5pcQ?si=i_RayXCD0OycgaAg

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Morning Frost and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Doorbag doesn't see how we can possibly save those kids and steal a painting or three. You watch as Grico's size doubles. I'm 6'4 and I'm low for you two games. As you were reduced in size by half. You're... Well, is this what it always looks like for Grigo?

Yeah, how do you feel like it? Uh, hello? Excuse me, I'm down here. Pay attention to me. Well, if you have to use the bathroom, I'm more than happy to take you. I'm pincushion, by the way. But the only way you're getting to Grammy night,

she just through me. So, Mr. Grammy, I'm so glad you're finished. I had, where I wanted to tell you that our good friends that there's a unit. I'm sorry, there's a what? That the horn was stolen from the unicorn. Uh-huh, yep.

Then that got stolen from Bevlona. Yep. And now the unicorn is simply just a, well, she uses it as a mount now. It's a rocking horse upstairs and a bedroom. Two, make sure her sisters could never find it because it's very, very powerful. She created a memory ruse, and now people think that it's hidden in Yon. You're telling me, the unicorn that's in Yon is actually up- fucking upstairs. Oh, yes. It's a wooden rock.

Now, but you can't animate it unless you have the unicorn's horn, and who knows where that could have gone. And what happens if it's reunited with the torn and it gets animated? It becomes the unicorn again. There is only one way. One way to get up into that room, and that is with the most private meetings with Babylon. If someone had captured Will of the Faywild, which is funny because she doesn't even understand what's going on there. She doesn't even realize that Will of the Fair Wild is an owner. You have been traveling through the Fay Wild

for what feels like forever at this point. You have been through the carnival and hither. You're now into thither, and it feels as if at every turn, there's more and more information thrown at you, things to do, people to meet, problems to solve. And somehow, this wacky group has found them seriously, the heroes and the saviors of it all.

And it is here and thither that you find yourselves with still so much to do. You've traveled through this place. You've met with a band of rag-tag kids and you have now ventured into the heart of loomelurch, a large fallen oak tree that is the lair and the home of Granny Nightshade with the intent to save all of the children here and return them to safety under Little Oak.

the walking tree ent that houses the large tree house fort and home of Will of the Faywild and his band of merry kids. That was at least your plan upon coming to Lomelage. But as you stand here now in front of an old rickety wooden bathroom, looking down at this small form of a pincushion doll, The words, Will of the Faywild was an ony, having just recently escaped her lips. Your world is thrown on its axis. You think about the words she had spoken previously, that Elidon, the unicorn that you were on a mission to rescue, the horn that you have carried in your pack,

your plan to go to yawn and return it to the unicorn that was trapped on an island similar to the one you met his wife. completely trapped by lightning rods. But now realizing that that is not the truth, he resides upstairs, locked away in Granny Nightshade's room, transformed into a rocking horse. And as these truths hit your mind, you realize that in this place,

you never really know what is true and what is lies. You don't know what reality truly is, in a place like this. You have many paths that you need to walk before you finish your journey in the Fay Wild here, many loose ends that you need to tie up, many missions, all within a 13-day timeline. And as you think about where you're standing

and the way time is passing, you don't even realize or remember how many days left you have. And it is in this moment that you find yourselves, staring down at pincushion, realizing that you don't know which way is up. What? Frost returns and says, Why couldn't it have been an elbow?

I'm confused. Instead of an oh knee. Oh. That's very good. That's acceptable quality. Yeah, I'll take. I mean, it's very frost. Yeah.

I liked the candy one much for them. Candy was very good. I do pop back into existence. Hello. You do. Your candy has worn off that you had eaten, and you find yourself popping back into existence in front of your friends. Apologies. I return now.

I was trapped by the inner circle of doubt. It's a psionic thing you wouldn't understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your name? That's racist, silly question. Oh, well, I'm not quite sure completely, but I know. that they are large.

Well, and Will, when he was Nauoni, was blue, and he had a big, dark beard and mustache. He had horns coming out of the top of his head. His teeth were long and razor sharp. I'm just catching up. You mean Will, the child, was once this monstrous blue beast that you're describing? Well, yes.

He was Granny Nightshade's right-hand man, actually. She would pay him in gold and jewels and other things, which he loved, and in bad children, and he would go out and help to collect them and find them, and the bad ones would get eaten. Oh, by the way, this is I'll make frosting. Oh, that's fine. I saw you wandering around in the ethereal plane. Yes, I understand your name is pin cushion. Yes, because of this, and she pulls a pin out and she sticks in it.

Ah! I'm kidding, it doesn't hurt at all. Very good. Yes. It's pleasure to meet you. I'm warning across. It's lovely to meet you, she curtsies. So hold on, I don't understand. Are you saying that Will is genuine in his mission, or he isn't?

Oh, I don't really have a way to know. Granny Nightshade doesn't even realize that Will is her only companion. But you see what happened was Bevlona came for an afternoon tea one morning, and they got in a row, as it were. quite often as they do, and as Bavlona was stomping out, she happened to cross-pass with Will, and she cursed him and turned him into a little boy.

And he nearly escaped, but Granny and I actually doesn't even realize that Will is one and the same. Do you know if... I have two questions. Yes. Do you know if Will is aware of this transformation or if he remembers his past life? Oh, I have no idea.

I'd not have an opportunity to talk to him. He was whisked away by Pavlona, and from there he found his band of ragamuffin children, and they've been on a mission to steal more kids. What was Will's name prior to being transformed? I couldn't even begin to pronounce it. Oh. Are you saying that onies eat children?

Well, not just children. They eat anyone. They'll eat other onies if they have the opportunity. It really depends on what kind of a creature you are. Some creatures eat eggs, for example. Those are a form of children. What the fuck's wrong with you? That was pretty terrible, I mean, who fucking says that?

I'm only been bad. I'm going to go back to the interficult. Frost says, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, they should call them oh no. See, that was better. I'll give you a round of laws about it. You, you're getting yourself quite nice to agree. I mean, me.

Does that mean me? That's our last long problem. No, it's not. And Granny Nightshade, she is aware that her right-hand man has been gone for however long will has been around. Yes, she thinks that she must have upset him or not provided him enough gold or enough children to eat and that he left in a huff. And she is quite sore about it. though I do imagine if he were to return and offer a proper apology that she would be amenable to their former arrangement.

But she's, it frustrates her quite a lot. You know, I never locked at will, kid. There was always something off about him. I only know because I can see what's true. Torbeck's brain is starting to hurt, but if Torbeck has this right, There's really no conflict about just turning in Will of the Wild. He eats kids.

Well, not Will, necessarily, unless he remembers his past. That's exactly right. I mean, if he's sort of like turned over a new leaf as Will, and his mission is genuine, then maybe we just let him be a kid. Screw that guy! Door race ready to turn him in! He's eaten children at least a few times in. his life. And he's gathering all those kids!

And here's the thing, man. I mean, if the only reason he turned over this new leaf was because he was blasted by a witch, I mean, what's to say she doesn't show up? And just for laughs, and she walks him back. Suddenly he's an oh no again, and then those kids are saying, oh, no! All you think was, Frosty said it. I was not a huge entire time. I said that. You might seem upset with me for some reason. It's because I didn't go to the market with You there the entire time, my husband.

Well, I was zin and out. In the realm of doubt. Exactly right. Well, I don't know if we should do this anymore. So if he gets turned back and then all those kids get gobbled up in the tree house, I guess that would be pretty bad. What we need to do is continue saving the kids,

and then the next time we see Will Gideon took bunches hat off. Well, I'm like a minute. When he eats children, is he eat out? Ow-Biz too? Really? He'll eat anything. Ah, didn't we leave Hootsie? Oh, well, I guess he will also left the tree, right?

Oh! We're going to have to learn if Will still leaves children, if he's aware of his child leading past. And then I'll add this task to our list. Just one moment. Torbeck doesn't think it matters. Why not? It doesn't matter what version of him he is.

Should we turn you in for the crimes committed by your other? Maybe you should! Well, that's not a piece. There's no one to turn him in, too. He killed somebody. If there was everyone that we've seen the other kill deserved him. It's all I'm going to say. Not that we are legally allowed to decide.

I think that's debatable. I mean, if we're talking about morality here, I mean, you know, what's to say that we couldn't have just knocked William Agdon Was that his name? Agedon Longst is this... Oh, I'm thinking of... Oh, you've met Aged Longscow? I'm thinking of a little...

We have met him, yes. We shouldn't bring him! Yeah! I've only heard tale of him because when he doesn't come to thither, at least not often as long time. No, he won't anymore. No, of course.

No, of course. Because he leave the bad brigands in hither, and they are notorious thieves. Yes, yes. We met them in... even. Agden has hung up his scarf for good, let's say. Well, but my point is, just because he steals stuff

doesn't mean you should be, you know, mutilated and tone the pieces until you're dead. And this is exactly why Torbeck should be locked up. Well, I don't think that Torbeck should be locked up, but the man inside of you should. And what if? Willa the Saywhal... Can you tell him to stop looking at me?

Oh, fuck. What? I don't like it. She can see the things that are true. Perhaps this creature, she sees double. Is that how it looks and feels to you? As perhaps a shadow behind him or within? It's hard to explain.

I'm looking at you, but I can see him inside of you. And you'll look to him and he'll look to me. He doesn't like that I can see him. What's he looking at? He looks like you, but if you are a man, Well, more like a man. Like, not furry? No, beautiful hair though.

Tobeck, this is really scary. It's right. What can Torbeck do about this? I'm not sure, but the mushroom peddlers might know. Oh, that would be amazing. You're the only person that said anything of any value to Torbeck basically ever about this.

The mushroom peddlers. Yes. Wait, who are the mushroom peddlers? They're outside in the garden. What do they do? What do they do? They peddle mushrooms, of course, but if you're dealing with misconception, dishonesty,

unclarity, a lack of truth, then you must seek out the mushroom peddlers. They can provide you mushrooms of different variety, though it is a painful process, but in the end, depending on how you handle of the mushroom that's chosen for you, you'll be gifted to kind of like oracles, really, visions. And these mushroom peddlers are just outside, you're saying?

Yes. They might be able to help Torbeck? They can help all of you. How far is it? Wow. We have to go! Wait, and then, and the Lunarge is just cool of them peddling mushrooms right out in the open?

Well, to be fair, If it weren't for the mushroom peddlers, then Granny Nightshade wouldn't be able to make the mushrooms that she uses for all of her alcohols. Wow. My Uncle Globo peddled mushrooms, and he went away for 15 years. That's amazing.

What kind of volume was he moving? That's a lot of questions. He went away to where. Do a lot of taps. Oh, that can happen if you're not. Careful. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're saying that Torbeck eats the mushrooms, Torbeck might learn more or Torbeck might die. Yes, and, well, as with any bit of divination, isn't it divination? Well, I'm not quite sure.

Anytime you beseech an oracle of clarity, there is always a chance that the answer that you'll give in could be wrong, but most of the time it is right. So, then all we got to do is meet with the unicorn, have the unicorn solve all of our problems, and then we go talk to the Oracle. In the mushroom. Well, you're going to have a very difficult time

getting to the rocking halls upstairs because the only way in there is with Babylona, and she's not here. Well, when is she getting back? She's getting back later tonight, right? Yes. But we've got some time to kill, is what you're saying? Oh, yes.

and be back for at least six to seven hours. I would love to go and see an oracle oracle. I have many questions about Java and enterprise software solutions. I think that's all right. What the fuck are you talking about all the conversation? Man, that's real flogged your brains, musty. We're told it hot Jones around here.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, I'd watch Torbeck do a bunch of mushrooms, not get a clear answer and then maybe die. Did you say Java? It wasn't, but does someone say, But Vlano, it's, it's, it's, it's,

scarefying. Yes, I know. That's what I said. Yeah, we, I'm never wrong. We had the opportunity to kill, uh, never mind. I like you, Pinguishin. Thank you.

Did you say Jova? Yes, I did. Would you like a Hot Jones? And she pulls out a small too hot Jones. Oh, yeah. Well, I have some Hot Jones. Oh, alright, and she hands you each a little tiny doll-sized, uh,

Hot Joe, gosh, I've had a head hot Jones. Mug filled with Hot Jones. Since the Nile out of Toaubert kill us terribly. It was difficult finding so many pixies named Jones. I imagine that it was. You really roasted

this. Perfect. I'm sorry, Dorebeck, what are you saying? You look stressed. Dormick just doesn't know if Dorebeck's in the mood for Hot Jones. It brings back so many painful lemon. You don't have to drink the Hot Jones. Are you guys doing that?

Help me. No, let him have his own Hot Jones. I was going to ask Ricko if he wants. I do, I wouldn't you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, you can use the pick me up. If you're, no, no, no, so close.

Oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna go find the candy that makes me a toll chat again. Fuck you guys! You never know when your next hot Jones will be. I'm getting darker and darker. Wait, you already, you've eaten the coral fish. Carlfish. That's true. What's the difference?

Your fish. Oh, well, Fon, you know what? Torbeck, I'm glad you were able to enjoy some hot Jones. All of us are now have some pick-me-up. I could have used a little bit more siminimine. But we are ready to go visit the mushroom peddlers. Wait, hold on, if we do that, and we're going to lose our place in line,

or you're going to, you know, put us in pencil and pen on blood to make sure that we're the first ones that meet with Bavala. Not Bavola. Grady lightshame. There we go. You can call her Granny Nightshade if you'd like. So we good? We're gonna lock that appointment in.

You're not first, though. There is one other person in line ahead of you. Oh, fuck. I'm so poor all these shenanigans. I'm not quite sure where she's gone. Who is in front of us if you don't mind my ass? Well, this little old lady was here. Something about a dead husband.

Oh, there's no way she made it. You think she'd done? What hell? I don't. What, here's who, but I was going to be in the line, you know what I mean? I've been there so much. Somebody's ahead of us. And Dormac really didn't want it to come to this, but we're going to have to take care of her.

In what way? We will nurse her to health and make sure that she's cared for in every way. Oh, that's very sweet. She's an old lady. We wouldn't make sure that no harm comes to her. Thank you, Charles, for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's exactly right. Right, Frosty.

Well, we can wait. Do I give you my rocky toky runes and then you just give us to this little note when our appointment is ready? Perhaps you have a stone that you hand us that blinks and vibrates. I was going to come with you. Traverting the gardens is incredibly dangerous.

I haven't even done it myself before. We might have to look for a guide to lead us through. And once we get there, it's, it's, well, I'll just say prepare yourselves. You won't quite keep it all together. Oh, no. We were ready for almost anything. Yeah, we were once murdered terribly by a dragon. Oh, all right.

Well, far worse has happened in the garden, so we should be on our way. Before we go, are we cool? You know me? You know me? Well, you're not going to lie to me anymore, are you? No, no, I just figured, I just, I don't know, I felt sort of. of uncomfortable since that all happened. I just wanna make sure that we're good, you know what? Would you like a hug?

You know what? That'd be very nice. All right. Oh, that's so nice. Take the pins out before you hug. Ah! Oh! No, no, no, they're inside of me. You can't feel them.

Oh, we're good. Wasn't she like this big? Yeah, she's little, but you give her a little hug. Oh, you smell lovely. Oh, thank you. You smell like fresh winter fire. Oh, the Ogway, 52. Sucked.

Burning embers. Cole? Let's go. Yeah, let's go. Oh, God. I'm so glad we're going to... And it's kind of more of like, oh yeah, it'll be season seven hours,

but that's just like, so we hopefully go away and it's actually ready in like 20 minutes. No, she could very... She very well might not even come home tonight. That's fine. If she doesn't, we do have rooms for you to stay in. Oh. Are they themed rooms?

Or are they just rooms? There's a room themed like the Wizard of Oz. Who? The what? I didn't say anything. Is there a wizard named Oz? Oh, I don't know. They'd be very cool if they were.

What a strange name for a wizard? Well, it's just a fucking guy from Oz. Hmm. Perhaps it's a short for Ozzy Mandius. It's a cool name. I'm pretty sure that the Wizard of Oz is public domain. It is. It is.

I mean, the fucking tabal walk is. Perhaps we will journey to him. And a large amount of us best. Restus will rain down from above upon us. Oh my God. Thanks. Oh, that's funny. Lead the way to the garden.

To the garden. To the garden. And with that, you watch as pincushion makes her way, not back through the door that you would come in or out the other way, but you watch as she opens a cabinet and you see that there is a small door about child size that she easily walks through. You imagine you'll all be able to get through it.

Torbeck's going to have the hardest time. But if he hunches himself over enough and squishes into himself, he can easily make it through. And she leads you through what clearly appear to be more like servants corridors, where the children move through this place to get from room to room to room. They're a bit winding, a bit narrow. You feel a little claustrophobic as you are traveling through them. and all of them seem to be hewn from the wood of this fallen oak.

Looking at it, you run your hands along the side, and you can see that this oak is so old that parts of it have already begun to petrify. The colors that marble there are beautiful and almost opalescent in places, where the sap itself has begun to petrify. And you make your way through this place. You see small carvings. into parts of the wood that are still hearty and haven't begun to petrify. Carvings from these kids, different names, tally marks, how long they've been here,

drawings and stories that have been added to year after year after year. As you make your way through this, you see that there are no windows, there are no additional doors. And you eventually get to the very end, and it looks like there is nowhere else for you to go, as pin cushion pulls the pin from the stitched on heart on her chest, and she begins to run it along the wall in a strange flourish. And you see that where there was nothing, a small door appears.

No. She sticks the pin back into the heart patch on her chest, and she goes to open the door, and as she opens it, a broom closet appears, and a broom falls out. Oh, gosh, I've done it again. She pushes the broom back into it. shuts the door, takes the door handle off, puts it on the other side, opens the door,

and you see that it leads out into an overgrown garden. It looks like a, if this is a garden, it is untended. It is wild and untamed, vines growing everywhere. Mushrooms taller than some of the trees that you had walked through. You see plants of all kinds, You see beautiful bushes that have, instead of flowers growing in them, crystals and gems.

You see that some of these begin to move, almost as if they're sentient in some way. The grass itself looks springy and moss covered. There are colors of every kind, colors that don't match any color that you've ever seen before, and they're all vibrant and beautiful, and it's a huge shock to you at first. first, especially because you, the time of day that you got here, you imagine what time it would be. You imagined it was early morning. It would be about midday now. But the cover of trees was so thick that barely any light got in and it was fairly dark. But it looks like this entire area is bathed in sunlight. You realize there is a gigantic sunflower that is well above all of the

the tree lines of mushrooms that is beaming down this beautiful sunlight invigorating the plant life here. Oh, that's weird. The animals that are here sing happily. It's a dark, deep contrast to any of the other places that you've experienced that have touched the areas of these hags. This is truly beautiful. This is truly what you would imagine the Fay Wild would look like. And there's a part of you that wonders if these hags hadn't taken over, these realms of the Faye Wild,

if this is what you would see, if this is just a small glimpse of where you really are. Oh, wow. Well, it looks beautiful, but it is dangerous. So are they just in here, or do we got to get through here to get to these?

Further in, hidden, deep within, is Granny Nightshade's Garden. It's where she grows specifically. types of mushrooms five, to be exact, that are her most prized possession, as well as a variable array of other mushrooms that she uses for her wines and her ales and her whiskeys and all other sorts of alcoholic beverages, some even in baked goods and things, but it's these five that the mushroom peddlers guard over, and it is through them that she's even able to grow them tall.

They are the ones that you seek. They are the ones with the properties, though they're not like the witchlight mushrooms. They're powerful in a similar way. Coveted by those in power for what they can do, the answers they can give you, the futures you can glimpse through them. Do we have so?

Well, that's what we're going to find. out. If you can convince the mushroom peddlers to give over some of the mushrooms to you, you should be able to imbibe them and have your questions answered and just truly glimpse the truth that's been

shrouded from you. Well, how do we convince them? Like, what do they want? I can't tell you, only they can tell you, but we'll get there. We just have to find a guide. I don't know this part

of Loon Lurch, all that. Well, I stay inside. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't leave you to this on your own. That would be unwise. I don't think you would survive. And I'm but at all. I mean, we can be fond if you don't,

if it's just scary for you or whatever. I'm a little scared, but I think you should be too. Oh. It's dangerous. Oh, I'm whole mushrooms. Uncle Glober, he peddled one. I thought you said he peddled.

Oh, one touch. You pedal a lot of them. Oh, I see. A lot of deaths. A lot of deaths. Went for volume. Yeah, a whole neighborhood kind of dislike. Do you know what?

It's a quantity of the quality. What these mushroom peddlers desire, what they might be interested in trading for? I've never met them. I only know of them. They're written about in books. Do you know what they look like? Well, in the book, they were described.

as being quite elf-like, but with mushroom caps on their heads. Not chemistries, which, if you've met a chemistry, you have? Oh, well, then you know, not like a tempestri, but they have more humanoid bodies. But they are well in truly fungal creatures, and they can connect to a communication,

network with mushrooms all across the Faye Wild. Oh. I wonder if they'll know we're coming. That could come in handy. Oh. Well, I guess if you come with us... Yes. Then let's go.

All right. You ready? As ready as we can be. Then let us step into the gardens. And she slowly walks down the little wooden stairs, and you see that she, her feet, Even at her small size still sink down into the mossy ground that it is very soft and spongy

as she begins to walk forward and she waves to all of you to make your way out. You all follow? You'll follow. Oh, yeah. I need you all to roll. I can't even remember what it is. I need to roll a D6 for me, please.

Oh. Rewrolling duplicates. Two. I call two. Five. One. Right as I got a one. Six.

Has we gotten three? No. Okay. Who got a one? Me. You step out onto the spongy earth, and you look around you, you see that there are these beautiful blue flowers next to you. That their color shifts from blue to purple to gold as you look at them.

And out of the inside, where you would normally see the stamen, You see that there are just billows of bubbles, just shooting out of it, floating into the air and shimmering with a beautiful rainbow essence. And you reach out and you pop one and you breathe in. This scent is floral and earthy and beautiful and you are overcome with giggles. You are jubilant and happy.

Oh, yeah. Well, this isn't that bad with all these bubbles. You seem mirthful. Anyone too? MIRTH. Somebody got it. You got it too. I got a two.

You feel confusion, overwhelm you. As you step out into the spongy earth, you are much lower to the ground than everyone else. And you all step down together and puffs of dirt, a waft up into the air. And you feel confused and muddled. Things that you thought you remembered, you can't remember certain details, you occasionally forget who you are, but then quickly regain your senses. Oh, that's a little dark.

Anyone with three? 55. I believe three, we can leave. Three, yep. This is perfect. You look out, you step down and you step past Grico, not even paying attention to him as he undergoes this confusion. and Gideon giggles towards you as he walks over.

He's kind of good. Yeah, look at him. Look at him. Look at the stupid. He's his own name. You're not too long. Just be aware, this is a condition for the entirety that you are wandering around this life.

So do not go too hard to start. I'll like you get a good one. You sidle up next to Gideon as he's chuckling. about the look of confusion on Grico's face is another bubble of floats up in front of your face crony. Gideon pops it, and as you inhale that same scent, you are not overcome with the happiness, the joyousness and the fit of giggles that Gideon is.

You feel paranoia. Oh God. As you look around at everything, it's all so strange and unusual. There are hints of things that you know. that looks like a sunflower, but the radiant rays of the sun, that is not how it should be. Oh, God.

And it makes you nervous. Okay, alright. Anyone with a four? And it's the only we didn't get. Okay, five. Torbeck, you step down and immediately, you see a small, you see a very small,

what at first looks like a duckling, skitter by your feet. But as you look down, you realize It's not a yellow duckling, it's a tiny, tiny little lion with wings. And it skitters past you, it looks up at you, it muse at you, it flaps its little wings, it lashes its little tail at you,

it flies up into the air and spins around and you are overcome with euphoria. And wonder, as you look at everything here as if it is the most beautiful thing that you've ever seen. Wow, that's a cool elephant. It's a giant! It's a diamond! It attempts, it lands on your hand,

and it attempts to roar, and it's like, roar! It's the cutest little roar you've ever heard. Wow, that's cool. You, Frost, you step down into the spongy earth and you watch this, you watch as Torbeck lifts the lion, that's tiny little winged lion, and watches as it flies away. flies away and you think to yourself,

that could have been useful, and you feel angry. You were overcome with pure hatred and rage. Did you watch Torbeck let this thing go? Frost, did you see that? Son of a bitch. What? You let that lion go. Because it was beautiful.

This is the Fay Wilde and you let that fucking lion It could have been a truth on. It was a bad to be. It was the worst. It was meant to be free. I want to fucking look at you right now. Oh, man. I love when frost and curses.

Oh, gosh. Hey, hey, hey, pin, pincush. You sure this place is safe to walk through? No. It's not at all. That's what I said before. stepped out the door. I'm a little worried about Grico.

Let me look at it. He does look a little confused. He's drooling on himself quite a lot. Well, that's just Grico, the lights are wrong, but nobody's, oh. What if it's like, like, prion disease, or like prion disease, however you say? Have you heard about that?

No, it isn't. Oh, God, it's fucking horrible. It's like the cells and your brain start folding and unfolding, and you basically turn into this guy. No, no. No, no. It's all right.

We all just have our own beautiful, unique way of viewing the world. We can try to feed him some water and see if he rejects it, and then we'll know for sure if he has any, uh, my water skin is fucking empty. Is anybody, any, any, goddamn water? Look at the top, the outfit's getting away. Oh! Come, come, Gurkow! Chase it with me! Me, let us frolic!

Oh, I'm good. What if it's contagious? Remember, you have to do this for a long time. Torbeck is very, you're not. We're fronicking. We're just like chasing the little wyat and flutters around. Oh my God. Roll a perception check at disadvantage because you're distracted as you frolic.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Eight. Eight. The two of you, the two of you begin to chase this little lion as it flies about. It seems to notice, and it gets excited. And it starts chasing you under and through all of these strange plants.

And eventually it makes its way back towards the group, and then it skirts along the edges of loomelage, against the bark of this fallen oak. And you see along it that there are, tons of windows that dot this place. They're all flickering with a beautiful lamp light. And the lion at one point flies up towards one of the windows and seems to be very interested in almost like a moth to a flame as it stares at the light and lulls its head back and forth as it dances in sync with this flickering flame. And the both of you are so entranced by it

that you run straight up to it, not noticing this giant compost heap that, um, is immediately outside of what is apparently the kitchen window where all of the refuse from the cooking is thrown. And as you slam into it, you immediately hear, as this compost heat begins to shamble and move. And what had been this giant mound of refuse is now what appears to be a shambling man filled with bits and pieces of months,

years worth of cooking. It towers even over you, Torbeck. As it spins around, it hits the little lion and flies off into somewhere else. You can't into the brush. And it lurches over all of you as it looks around. Pincushion squeals and runs behind your leg, Cremie. You can feel her holding on to the back of your pants

as she's shaking and shivering as she looks up at this thing. What do you do? Wow. Even the trash is alive and beautiful. I think it looks just like me fresh girlfriend. Diffie. What are you in the first thing? That's so sweet.

Torbett. What? Grigo. You idiot. Dave Gushin told you very clearly that you would not run around and run into things and you run into some sort of nightmare compost creature. They'll kill us all. I would not be more furious.

Leave it to the goblins to find the trashy. He starts to shamble over. You see his arms are incredibly long. This is not all that different from Torbeck's stature where the body is quite long, but so are the lambs. As it starts to shamble over to you. What did you say about me? You look very much like a rotten apple falls off of it

and hits you in the shoulder. Tiffany, it's me, Grico. He spins around. He spins around. His arms are lanky. He doesn't quite know how to use them as he hits you, again, Frost, with his long trash heap arm.

And you are poked in the side by a very large turkey bone. Piercees your skin a little bit. As he turns over toward you, Bricko. I said. That's gone. Just before you sully my robe, that you look like a trashy.

He once again turns towards you, this time hitting Grico. Ricko, you roll a dexterity saving throw. You're looking good. From my perspective, does it look like it's attacking my friends? No, he looks like he clearly does not have, he's not familiar with using his limbs.

And so they're long and lanky, and he's hitting things, running into things. He seems kind of confused, and you have heard that he said a few things, what did you call me? That's not my name. 15.

15. He does knock you over, but you're able to quickly write yourself as a bit of rotten pumpkin falls out and lands in your lap. Do you any damage? No. Is that the same sensation Tiffany gave you last time?

Rotten pumpkin in the left. I think he's, Yes. Fully unconscious. Ah, you knew you practice. What is that mean? You had to go to Galbra High School. Oh, Durnham could not afford a school.

It was freaky, man. They told him about there was too much. If you're a Frenchman, what is your name? He turns towards you. you. Uh-uh. Uh-huh. You in?

Yeah, the kids call me, ew! In. Oh. And you're not going to change it years later into Ian? No. Okay, I'm just checking. That made me very... It's going to become my old man voice, because I can't keep the other one, so...

Yeah, you're just going to go with it. So you, you don't want to kill us, you don't want to attack us, so... No. You belate us in any way? No. Is there any chance you want to date, Grick? I'm a little shandre. Which one's Grico?

That's him. You're exactly his time. No, thank you. Oh, bad look, buddy. We didn't mean to run into you. That was Dormac's fault. It's okay. I'm sorry. I thought it was kids kicking me. Oh, no. Tormec is very familiar with that, and it's very different.

very different. Nobody likes Ewan, because Ewan's Ewing and made of trash. Nobody likes Dormack, because Dormack's kind of gross and smells like trash because he lives in trash. His long head comes down and he pulls in a big whiff.

I smell worse than you do. Well, maybe, but that's what makes all of us unique and beautiful. It's all very sweet, but we have to be going now. Thank you so much for your time, Mr. Dress-Ewan. Ah, it's not different. It's a big trash man. Frosty hasn't had his breakfast to give him.

If he was in his right mind, he would say you to change your name to me out. What? Me out. Miao? Yeah. Me, you... Hold on, let's think about this.

Well, I think you're saying, like, because you were in. So, me, be doing. Don't make you think it. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. That was a long walk around. That was right.

What the fuck? I'm cursed to giggle, and I didn't even laugh at that one. No, this is a Tiffany. It's Tiffa Elbow. Devastating They caught on to me You know I only have one joke Seven years

Take the thing and do we in reverse it Oh, if that a bad car You should be the front hose Oh god I'm very angry I'm very paranoid and scared And I think we should Yeah let's let's get the fuck out of here

Oh Well hey giant trash guy That kind of looks like Gregos X girlfriend You know, I'm You and... Well, you and who? It probably smells better than she does, those two. Huh?

You and who? No one, I'm always alone. Well, man, that's pretty funny. Do you know, like, anyone... I think we're still looking for a guide to get through this maze of mushrooms. You know anybody that knows her way around here? Couldn't be you.

You're a pile of trash. There's no value. You see that where you imagine his eyes would be, you see a small mushroom roll or a small onion roll into place and tears rolled down his face as he listens to the things that Frost is saying to him. You're right, I've been through this garden time and time again. But I'd make an awful guide. All right, well, I may need you know a good one?

I have no value and I can offer nothing. Oh, no, that's. Torrex gonna step in here. I mean, just please, he's taking over. I came on me. Oh, that is like four times. Canelovedic. Listen.

Take a step back. Youan, from one giant pile of trash to another, you have to remember, It's called garbage can, not garbage can't. You can do this. You can help us. Thorbeck believes in you in. Well, where are you trying to get to?

We're looking for some mushroom peddlers. Oh, I know them. You do? Yeah. Can you take us to them? You want just one of them or both of them? There's more than one? There are two of them.

Uh, one moment, please. And I'll turn to Pind Pitcher and say, Oh, Torbick didn't realize that there was more than one peddler. This place is amazing. Which one do we want? You didn't realize that? She's been saying Teddlers this whole fucking time. Storming don't get together. Like a group of us. I'm off on them.

Well, every, I'm in a group of them. I'm not sure why he's asking if you want to see them separately. They don't go anywhere separately unless something's happened. Oh, okay. Oh, wait, don't move. Uh, uh, you and are the peddlers not together anymore? They should be. Did something happen to them?

What? I think everybody's just- No. The peddlers were so good to give us. How about this? Just take us there and then beg him not to kill us, all right? All right. Dormac would be greatly appreciative

if you would take us all to the peddlers and also don't kill us. I wouldn't kill you. I'd just have to add your bones and viscera to my pile of trash. Imagine. We would like to keep our bones in visceral where they currently are. If this takes any longer, I'll welcome it.

I'm sorry. Whoa, Tolbank. What? That's a really cool other friend. Yeah, it's beautiful, but it's a lion. Yeah, that's a good. Oh, you're distracting Torbeck. Can you take us there?

Can you guide us? Please. Yes, but I would ask for one favor. Sure. There's an animal pen a little deeper in. The animals have gotten out recently when some rogue edder caps let the gate loose, and they've been defecating all over the garden.

Which means I have to roll around and pick it up. Okay. I would really prefer they did their business in the pen. You want us to gather all the missing animals? I could just kill them very quickly with my mind. Well, if you kill them, then... And he looks up towards the tree. She'll be angry.

She'll blame me. We're not going to kill any of the beautiful creatures. She'll be, don't be angry. She'll be nice. She'll be friendly. Uh, uh, uh, Mr. Cremney, what do we do? What are we just fucking bail and leave this guy? Let's find our own way.

We need to die! That's okay. Everyone who comes into you and life fails and leaves me alone. What if he's just bullshitting us and he just wants us to do his job for him? And then he's like, he doesn't actually fucking know anything. But take us to the mushroom battlers and we'll see if we can maybe gather some of the animals on the way. And I have to admit that it's... that if we get lost, we'd be able to follow the rotten garbage

on the way back here. Mike Breadcrumbs. I think it needs to prove that he fucking knows where they are. Why don't we see him first, and then we'll go do his job, and then... Yeah! Yeah. One of those escaped animals wouldn't have been a tiny flying lion, would it? No, but there is a tiny pig named Oink.

Oh, man, that's cute. Hang on. All right. Oh, God. See? Well, get in suits. I don't know there's a tiny pig name oink. Oh, we gotta go do the animal fact.

I don't even know what it is, Quint. We accept, but you have to take us to the peddlers first. I can't do that. The peddlers are after the animal pen. Of course. Tori doesn't know what to do here, Mr. Grummy. I mean, look, we could do it, I guess, but.

You could also go alone. We've been warned that that wouldn't be danger online, so let's do the animal thing real quick. And then we'll go and we'll battle. I don't trust this guy, but we came. What have I done? That's fine. Whoa.

You fucking look at you. I did. I hope that I made of drugs. It's like lugging into a mirror. He starts to weep, jelly. Oh, hell of God. I think he's trying to emotionally manipulate us, fellas. I'm pretty sure it's just spoiled milk.

I mean, you got to come. care about them for that to have. You know, but it's weird. All right, you and we will help you on the way to the mushroom beddlers. Is that okay? Is that sound good? No, that's fine.

That's fine. We can do it. It just might be a waste of time. It's all that I'm saying. To be fair, I'm, Torbeck doesn't understand a place like this. So beautiful can be dangerous at all anyway, but let's take him as a guy.

Fine. Fine. I'm not gonna stop it. Do you think, walk is something we should be worried about that's a tough guy you mean the tough guy I feel like you take no no why what Ricker why why would you say that did you see you know that didn't end well you fucking see the jabber walk you heard of jab walk oh my fucking guy oh don't you remember when he killed his own

you remember that you and please please start walking in the right direction just please yeah he killed your fucking daughter who see Exactly right. Oh my good Lord. Here. And Hewain begins to move. And he moves with a significant amount of grace, actually. Once he has moved away from the house,

he seems to have regained the familiarity with his limbs now that he's taken on a more humanoid form. And he begins to walk forward. And you see that things shadows and other creatures, creatures move out of the underbrush. But the moment that they smell Ewan and see him, they begin to shrink back. And so it's easy to see that whatever lives here knows of him and fears him in the same way that pincushion seemed to react to him, though he seems like a gentle giant.

But his presence is very clearly protecting you as you were making your way through this place. It is significantly larger than you had expected. travel for almost an hour before you make your before you find yourselves opening up into a clearing there is a small purple barn house off to the side its thatch roof is crooked and twisted the door is asymmetrical the windows are don't align on either side and out front and partially connected to it you see a large a large which would clearly have housed animals of a variety of animals. You see different

sizes of feeding troughs, you see different sizes of watering holes and it's easy to see that there were multiple animals in this pen. The door itself is swung wide open and you see nothing else. This is where they go. Guys, what's wrong? Like shit. That's just me. Who? You and...

Oh. Oh, my name is Grico. I don't want to date you. Tiffany, is that you? I got a new truck. I think that's some cool pictures of it. Tiffany, so good to see you after all these years. So they're supposed to be animals here, but there are any animals here?

So how are we going to fucking find these animals, fellas? It's a great question. Yeah. Yeah, it sure was. I don't know. Why you're all looking at me. Mr. Solution. Can you, like, use your mind just to figure out where they all are?

I use my mind to figure out where they. It's amazing. It works like clockwork. Forebeck is not constipated. Please don't record that. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of a ventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks,

including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Trout over Salt Marsh. You can all. Also go to the Crooked Moon.com and pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror dome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice and miniatures and plushies, a tarot deck and more.

Torbeck thanks you No, I have to solve everybody's problems All the time You are not that confused, Michael You can function as Grico You're only a little bit confused Yeah, that's all it takes That's how it starts

That's how it starts Oh God, hold on Let me look inward And I'll see if I can find these fucking animals elephant elephant come back it's a progressive disease what are you talking about man

the prounds yeah the prongs it's a little quiet it just gets worse you can manage symptoms but it's sad I would like to look inward

and I would like to cast borrowed knowledge to give myself proficiency in the nature skill to see if I can reach out with my mind and see if I could find any creatures that fit

the bill that need to be corralled into this farmhouse. That's very cool. Look for a wink. Oh, yeah. You look, you specifically look at the pen and you take note of the different types of tracks. And your mind races. You see the way that they move

and how certain sets of tracks are grouped together. Well, that's clearly one type of animal that moves in like a pack, here's another one here. And looking through it all, you realize that housed within this pen are seven goats, five pigs, and one small piglet. Seven goats, five pigs, and one small piglet.

It's like I'm looking at the tracks and it's that scene from a beautiful mind where he's looking at the pigeons and there are all these fucking formulas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, exactly. And you realize you... It's almost as if you can see them

and see where they move to which trot. and how they would eat and where they would sleep and the ways that they would go about their day. You also take a note of the way the pen was opened and the way that the tracks moved out, that the goats rushed out quickly, that some of the pigs went but hesitated, and then the rest, and then an area where they hesitated

before you see the tiny little footprints of a piglet, clearly the last to leave, more hesitant than the others. You see the way they dart off into the underbrush, the pigs into one direction, the goats into another, and they disappear into the foliage. You smell the air. You get down to the ground and you feel the earth in your hands and the way it's sponginess and the way that it moves.

You begin to calculate speed versus the length of pigs' lens. eggs, especially having one piglet, they have to keep with it. The goats are medium age. There was maybe one elderly goat. That's going to slow them down. And you begin to track how far they could go, where they would be. All of this happens in the blink of an eye. And you realize that just based on the humidity in the air, there has to be some sort of cove

or waterfall, small creek, somewhere close to here, they're going to gravitate towards the water. and you can imagine they are all probably right next to that water. All right, gentlemen. We need to think about creating a perimeter of approximately 600 feet. Inside of that perimeter, there is going to be a source of water. That is what we are looking for, trying to think like an animal. Follow these tracks into the bush here and follow these along this direction.

I believe that we will find the animals and be able to crowd them back. Are you with me? Wow, Frost, you're so amazing. What? Grigo, follow Torbeck. If you say so, follow the pink bulbs. Whoa, that's a cool

elephant, Toulbeck. Oh, don't worry, Grico, I got you. And I'll pick him up again like a football. Oh, wow he doesn't get lost. Look, why don't we split up? It can be me and Gibb, it can be you and Torbeck, and then you go off on your own. Oh, flung, lock, and Oslo.

I have all my mom can see me now. I don't care if we split up or not. I'm in between the radius that I just somewhere in between the radius that I just calculated. You can go off on your own if you could care too. It's almost 600 feet Look You can almost hear the water

And as you listen You realize you can Can we all Triangulate the direction of the water? Yeah it seems to be to the north Oh all right Let's go to the north Wee

I fly Greg O'clock as we begin going north To where we do this water Oh he's having fun You notice that Ewan stays back. He watches as you make your way towards the north and where you hear the sounds of the water flowing. And he doesn't

attempt to stop you, but he doesn't join you either. Ewan does not follow you as you make your way towards what sounds to be a roaring waterfall. you um yeah we love your team we're on a magical adventure

by ourselves reflected of your dreams that is so irritating everyone that Ocelot except Frosty that's just amazed that he hasn't missed a single

lyric everyone of those was exactly he didn't mean an assalot he's thinking of a different animal What a idiot. He doesn't know what an Aeselot is. Isn't it like a monkey-like creature?

Yes, and I was reminded earlier this week that I played all of Metal Gear Solid, thinking that it was a monkey-like creature. And there's a camera named Revolver Oswald in that game. No way! Why he's no gun, because he's a little hand. It was a monster like creature. This is the cult action army. Find his handgun never made. Okay, let's go on.

There's a waterfall. You see, I can tell by the saturation of the soil. You don't see it yet, but you can hear it. You hear that? There is a waterfall in the direction of that sound that I pointed. All right, you go on and lead the way. As you move forward, you begin to notice

that the foliage almost peels away from you, vines out, peel back like curtains. It's almost as if it's accepting you, allowing you to move forward. And you do eventually find yourself staring at what looks to be. a beautiful crystalline pool. The water shimmers in this incredible turquoise color. The ground beneath it, you would expect to see stones or dirt or soil or silt of some kind, but it appears to be beautiful

purple petals that line the bottom of this. And as you look up, you see that there is clearly the sound of a waterfall, but it is coming over the top of this long, twisting tree that reaches up towards the sky. The top of it is wreathed with hysteria that hangs down and dips into the edges of the pool, the petals falling off and lining the bottom as water flows down over it, almost preternaturally. As you look at this, it is incredible. It is glorious. It's beautiful. And you feel peace, you feel a sense of calm. There's something about this water that reminds you very much of the lake where you had met Lemurna, the unicorn.

There's something perfect, pristine about this water. As you breathe in the mist that billows up off of the surface, you inhale that mist. And it's almost effervescent in your lungs. and you feel like you've breathed in double the amounts of air that you had expected to. You feel invigorated, renewed. It's lovely.

I've never seen anything so beautiful. Careful, fellas. Frost, you think... Do you take record? Yeah. I like use the back of your best to, like, block my eyes. Frost, you think those hanging flowers are poisonous?

Almost certainly. Oh God. Look at them. Everything is poisonous here in the Faywild. It's probably what actually happening right now is that we've been poisoned terribly, and these are just the dying visions of our shutting down brains.

Oh man, just like the prions. Oh, God, oh, it's the prions? I look around to the animals. If we all consume the same thing, we can all have prion disease. Roll another nature check barns. That sounds younger. Wow.

That sounds very young. 23. It's pronounced prion. Prown. Prane. Prane. If this is the end, then D'orbeck's never been happier to be in a place like this with all Dorebex friends. I begin to monologue like the end of Midnight Nass about my brain shutting down for 35 minutes.

What did you get for your nature check, Derek? I was my lord. Can you please? Nobody touched the flowers, all right? I think they're poisonous. What? I look around for the animals. Well, it's all the 23.

Oh, perfect. You look around and you- Frust you see me. You begin to notice a couple of things. You notice that there were tracks up the water. You begin to notice that as beautiful as this area is, that the thicket around it is far darker, gnarled thistles unfurl.

And you see movement in the corner of your eye and you look as you see one of the roots roll back in on itself, these gnarled thorny tendrils reaching out from the undergrowth. And you notice what appears to be a hoof. And as your eyes adjust to the darkness at the line of the underbrush, you see that there is clearly the body of a swine

that's been wrapped up in one of these thorny bushes, unmoving, clearly dead. Yum! Son of a bitch. What do you see, Frosty? If you stand a little closer, you can see over here. Oh. Poor Toby, can you put me out.

The body of some kind of animal, probably, the pig, has been jumongied into the forest in that direction. Oh my god, is it okay? No, I don't see it breathing or moving at all. Oh no. It's probable that the animals are all dead. Look at that chicken!

Of course. We came all this fucking way. Oh, poor chicken. Oh, man. Is this some kind of sick fucking joke? He didn't come, man. He didn't come. Stay behind and he thought he'd smell too bad in front of the house.

Those flowers look yummy. Can I look, Torbett. In this yellow flower, I might be able to drink tea and take a bart out of it. Oh, okay. Oh, God. Or the Constitution saving through, please. Oh, he's dead.

Not good. Hold on. Well, if he doesn't get prions, he's probably getting those truthons. It's okay. That's right. It's funny. Kahn?

Mm-hmm. Roll a D20 for me, please. 17. Okay. Yeah, you're able to eat it. It tastes buttery. It's got a, it's almost like eating a leaf of buttered popcorn.

Oh, snap. Oh, my God. I would love some buttered popcorn. Guys, have you been on a long road trip and after so many hours of riding? You finally roll up to one of those taverns with the cracker and the barrel on it, and you have a delicious breakfast. It tastes like that. Oh, man.

Give me some more with that flower stuff. No, get up, get away from there. That's just your pile off. You slap that way. You just sit around. Sorry, Grego. It's okay. Don't go for the purple ones.

It's okay, Jeremy. Jeremy. Everybody knows that purple's the color of poison. It's Dormag. Gellon. Dormick is Dormick. I thought you were my imaginary possum friend, Jeremy. Dormick is a bug bear. Doppelenoid, like Grico.

You are literally a seven-foot-tall, an anthropomorphic parson in the suspenders right now. Do you know, jean suspenders, overalls? He's getting words. Do you know how stupid you sound right now, Jeremy? That sounds really cool. My Dormack is just Dormack. I don't know what to say to you right now, Jeremy.

I've had enough of this. The flowers are delicious. Who's going to break it to old you and that... Bally-Arenuous flowers. We're not turning around and breaking that news. There is a dead pig over here, and we're going into that fucking forest, and we're going to find out what happened to them,

or I'm going to murder all of you, and then myself. See? Oh, right. Is it really dead? Let's just grab the chicken, is what you're saying. I'm gonna grab on the pig's leg and pull it out.

I'm sure he's the sleeping. Roll a strength saving, throw. Oh, I'm seeing so. Oh, no. A 10. You attempt to pull, and as you do, one of the thorny vines whips out and wraps around you

and begins to gank you into the underbrush as well. You find your, pinned next to this rotting carcass of a boar. Oh, too. As you, as the vines wrap into you, piercing into your flesh, you take. I don't have any dice. Here.

Thanks. I have sushi. I can roll sushi. Oh, God, I'm killing it. I get it a sushi roll. That's pretty good. I didn't think of that when I said. Oh, you were straighting me?

I mean a little spousy. You take two points of piercing damage as it pierces into you. And you hear, you hear the noises of what sound like hundreds of other vines moving against the earth. I roll perception check for me, please. And I'm just like stuck in there right now. Roll a perception check for me. Yeah, you're grappled and restrained.

As funny as this is, I guess we try and get them out of it. get him out of it. No, I want them against it. No, get to, no. Don't get close. Well, come on, man. Look, it killed this little plow. I'm getting rid of this dime.

As funny as it would be, we can't let and kill Grico. You hear a noise, but you're not quite able to place exactly what it is, though it sounds familiar. And your confusion, though, what it is slips away from you as you are now focused on the sounds of many more vines, traveling through the underbrush directly towards you. Is the dead pig next to me? You're pinned up next to it. Guys, the chicken is okay. We're gonna be in the cave you.

We're all on our way. No, fall, step back, please. There's nothing left to do now, but have a. Tiffany's gonna go a little spasana. Oh, he thinks Tiffany's in the bush. One of the vines wraps around you and the thorn pinches your butt. Oh, there's a lot of wriggling tentacles. Look, you know, he's too far gone, fellas.

Tiffany's been watching some OBAs. Are you scared of whatever threat is trying to take Cricko more than his death, the death of Hootsie's father, the death of everyone? We have to go in. No. We're going to have a respectful but brief living funeral like that horrifying film Once Upon a Forest. We're going to eulogize him all. He's still fucking alive. Mr. Cremie, that's not necessary. Take a step towards the plan where Grico is and I'll need it down.

Are my feet like that ain't? Yes. Yes, they are. down and I'll reach out and I'll say, Oh, beautiful faywild plant, please release Dorbegg's friend as I'm petting it. Do you have speak with plants or anything? Yeah, good God.

Please beautiful creature, give Torbeck's friend back. Roll a persuasion check, a disadvantage because you don't have any kind. kind of plant speaking feature. I got 11. You feel the vine stop for a moment, and you imagine that the plant has listened to you. You can hear Torman.

You see that it loosens up around part of Grico's legs before it whips out and lashes you against your face. I need to roll a dexterity saving throw. Oh, Mo. You can you hear, torment. Oh. Oh. Tobeck, are you trying to speak?

27. You are quickly able to, you're dexterously move out of the way as the thorny vine whips against you. You are going to take one point of slashing damage as the thorn cuts across your cheek, but it isn't able to wrap around you and restrain you.

You do watch as it quickly slithers back in and begins to curl around Grico's. Mr. Crummy's right. Gricko's gone. Torbett, you can't speak with plants unless you can cast a spell, speak with plants. What?

I've got it. I've got just a spell prepared. Tollbeck, I'm restrained. I'm going to grab my upgram. And I'm going to cast plant growth. Tiffany, we can. How plant growth works. This spell channels vitality into plants

within specific area. There are two possible uses for the spell. This is the first one, because I'm using as an instant. Choose a point within range, which will be inside this plant, I guess. All normal plants in a hundred foot radius, center on that point, become thick and overgrown. A creature moving through the area must spend four feet of movement every one foot.

Oh my God. You watch as... If you watch as the vines, which were about this thick, quadruple in size, and they begin to shoot out in every direction. Where this beautiful flower that had been spilling this effervescent water had existed, it is crushed as the vines spread out and overtake this area. You are all, you are all, you are,

were all trapped beneath these giant thorny vines as they just immediately burst out of the underbrush. And though they're not wrapping around you, the weight of them is immense. It's going to take a lot for you to get out from under them. But that is not the thing that catches your attention. It is that these aren't a bunch of smaller plants, but these are vines attached to one large plant.

And now that this spell has been cast, you see where these vines had come from. You now see all around you the carcasses of goat and pig trapped within them as they've been burst forth out into this. And you see growing out of the very depths of this place, now towering up over everything else, a giant Venus flytrap.

Its mouth opens and snaps, What was large enough easily to consume Torbeck is now large enough to consume something much, much larger and it looks incredibly hungry. The plant twists and turns towards you, and as its maw opens up, you see that unlike just a standard plant of this nature, there are eyes on the very top of it. Many, many, many, many eyes, hundreds of eyes

line the top of this, um, planty maw as it looks around and it's, you see a slithering vine tongue unfurl from the inside of its mouth, whipping at the air, almost tasting where prey and food may be. And it seems to catch your scent. Guys, I found the chickens. No, you found a mulbaro from fucking Final Fan.

Oh my God, kill, kill it. I was gonna let you later too, Prasley. If I still have my cane, I'm just going to, it's gonna glow and you'll hear this horrible wailing. I'm gonna cast and inflict wounds on it. How does restrained work? We can't move and we're disadvantaged on attack rolls. Because you would all be considered restrained

because you were pinned beneath these giant, now giant thorny vines. I'm casting inflict wounds on it, if I can. Well, that's touch. It is touched, yeah, so I'm gonna just, so the tip of my cane will be touching into one of the roots on top of me. And it'll do some necrotic damage.

It's a melee spell attack. Better hope one if you guys is blight. I'm disadvantaged on it because I'm restrained. Two 18s, let's fucking go. Oh, wow. That probably hits. Well, it is, would it's AC be affected by the spell? if it were a monster.

Probably like plus 10 and 20 at least. You think? Because I was thinking it would definitely go up by probably 20. Actually, there's an argument to be made that it would be reduced by getting larger because it's easier to do. That's actually a very good,

that's a very good, but more hit points. I do like that, I do like that. So yeah, it hits. So it is going to do, it's a third level, so three, four, five D10 necrotic damage. One, two, three, four. Ooh, I shouldn't use some new or any of dice. That feels heretical.

One, two, three, four. Keep you away from you tiny gator. Oh, not something, something about the ice. Five, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 78, 19, 19. 20, 21, 22 points of necrotic damage on the creature, but I'm aiming for whatever is restraining me specifically. You let loose this necrotic magic

as you inflict these wounds. You watch as a dark ergate attaches itself to the vines and the plant begins to rot, or the vine begins to rot and fester away. You hear a yelp of pain that comes from this creature as the vine that's specifically holding you down. reels back and slinks back into the underbrush, completely freeing you.

At the same time, you roll a perception check for me. Another 18, that's fucking good. That's 318s, damn. Perception is, that's a 20. At the same time, you hear a noise as some of the vines have moved, not just the vine that was trapping you, but some of the others,

not the ones trapping your friends unfortunately because dandy and fun. But some of the others have recoiled back into the underbrush. You see movement and you hear a faint, almost whimpering noise and a small oink, as you see a little bit of pink flesh. You see that one of the vines that was wrapping around two of these large swine, they begins to rear back. You see that those bodies had been protecting,

shielding this small piglet. And through all this time, this piglet has been protected by these two now dead pigs, but it is safe, though it looks small, it looks hungry. You can see its ribs, it's shaky little legs as it tries to move, but it lets out one soft oink as it tries to get up on to its legs and move into the underbrush,

but it is too weak and it falls onto its distended belly. Yeah. Oh, he's still alive. It better be fucking time to get all fired up, and I'm gonna like crawl away and stand up and back the fuck off. Unhand that hog, Tiffany. What I will say is you, with that role,

you are able to assess the situation in a way that you know, that given the small space and the size of this plant, should you choose combat, you will not be able to save the pig. So this is an extraction. I just let no Gid that Oink is alive. And so, hopefully that- Am I aware that Kinket for him? Oh, everyone would have hurt me.

And I guess, roll for initiative. Okay. I would like to try something. I'm not gonna be able to try it. Well, I don't have initiative cards. So I have a bunch of soy sauce packets. You've got a fucking little packets. Look at this little packet.

So I have this. So that could be the boss. And then this one can be a different one of you guys. They got to be just around you. Hold on, hold on. Just a second. I mean, we had them three months ago. That could be Torback.

One minute. This one can be, oh shit. God, I can. That's not gonna work. Oh, it's pretty, it's fun to have an oig. I don't know what happened to my initiative cards. I don't know. We do need to clean all of this.

We do need to clean all of this. I should have thought about that. We're gonna ride it in 2030. You know what, I'll write it down. Yeah, just write it down. I'll just write it down. You guys don't need to know. Yeah, I won't be able to figure them out.

It'll confuse me. Okay. 20 to 25. Each person who plays in a person. 20. Not me. 15 to 20? Oh, sorry, I would be 20 to 25.

I would be 21. 16. I got a 16 as well. You go first. You want me? I'm very confused. That's right. That's right.

So Gid, Tor, Gric. Yep. I got a seven. This is our newest sponsor, Kikabai's soy salt. What did you get? What did you get? 13. Okay, so Frost and then crunched.

That's true. Just kidding. Hey, everybody. Oh, and I need to roll for Oink. Yeah, where does Oink go? Okay. Oinks in combat? Mm-hmm.

Oink is a level 20 wizard. Oh, that's one fat. Oh, man. Oink casts time stop. Oh, hell, yeah. Okay. That's very funny. Could be some plant killing music going?

Yeah, yeah. Can I, can I work on it, please? You, that's all right. What was it that you, what was it that you yelled out? I said, Gid, oink still alive, so it better be time to get all fired out. You hear this as you watch as Kremi is able to stand to his feet.

He points to where you see this small, clearly starving little piglet as it attempts to get to its legs and then crumbles back to the ground, letting out a small oink of pain. And it is your turn, Gideon. As I hear Crummies cry go out, that Oink is still alive, a pillar of flame will erupt from beneath the vine

as I get all fired up. We gotta save that pig. Go get them. Am I still grappled or the divines? You're still grappled and restrained. Some of them have moved away, but not the ones that are pinning you down. So you can make a statement.

you can make a strength check or strength saving throw to try and remove yourself that does take your action. Or you can do it at the end of your time. I'll try, I'll use a strength saving throw. Is that a disadvantage for a strain? For the break check, it's not a disdict. No, no, it wouldn't. Are you advantage with your all fired up move?

Or no. Maybe. We have twists. It's like a . A million twists like. I don't know what to use. Oh, this one, this one. Oh, yeah, there go.

Wow. There you go. Gosh. There we fucking go. Okay, 27. Let's fucking go. You are easily able to. Wham!

You begin to glow red hot with rage. You see what's happened to this poor piglet. And you steam explodes from your ears. as your mouth, as your entire being starts to glow with the burn of embers. And you, it's almost as if this creature feels that heat and it whips itself back from you as you throw the vine off of you.

And you are able to stand. Can I get to oink? Yeah. Okay, all right. I move, I throw the big vine off, I'm coming, hoink. I'll run up to the pig that is as close as I can get and then just say, don't stand too close,

baby, then I have to start calling you bacon. His name will be, the first name will be Christopher. So you're too oink, but you're not picking him up. Well, do I think I could pick him up and like, I mean, I don't, do I think you can pick him up and like, open it? Free object interaction. He would be a free object interaction because he's small enough.

He's got a free, he's might, He's literally a football. I'll pick him up under. We're smaller than football. I'll pick him up under my arm. And he's probably about like eight inches long. That's one, Fettle. Oh, is that?

Oh, no, I don't say that. Tiffany never said that. This is Tiffany at all. It isn't Tiffany. It is a Tiffany. What? Oh, holy is my. The only way to win is not to stream.

Keel who's dreaming agent. Oh, geez. Yes, if I believe that I can do so, I will pick up oink and start heading in whatever direction feels like away. I would say you could pick him up, but you probably don't have any movement left without having gotten up from prone using half your movement

to get to them. 100%. I'm just at oink, oink in hand. Stay back. Tiffany. You pick him up and, you pick him up, and, He is significantly lighter than you even expected. He lets out another little oink and looks up at you.

His eyes are watering. They're far bigger for his head than you would expect. He looks like an anime pig. He looks ridiculous with the vagina. They're like, they're clinked. Yeah. Hey, I eat some waffles, all right? They're left over from breakfast.

Three days ago, probably. They're like three days old, but you're a pig. But you have a wink in your arms. You do notice that the vines seem to be almost attracted to this pig. And as you pick him up, it's as if this giant Venus flytrap creature can smell this pig. And all of the vines start to undulate and writhe towards you.

and this pig. You imagine if you don't get him out of here soon, it's going to become significantly more difficult to fight off these finds. No girl want to make upon me. So just so I understand, we, you said that we know, we get the sense that if we fight,

then we won't have time to save the pig. So it's, this is like a, we're just trying to run away. So it depends on what you do. If you want to, if you want to fight him, you can, but the pig more than likely will not survive, as it's very clear that it is, more interested in that pig than it isn't you guys. Just want to make sure.

OK. Torbeck is crushed under one of these vines. Maybe it's starting to wrap around him. The tanks on Torbeck's back begin to glow ever so slightly bit more magenta. And the bubble and shimmer and move, and then they kind of drop in a little bit as the tubes begin to glow as this witch-like material begins to move through his veins.

And I will consume a mutagen to use my mobility mutagen, which gives me the immunity to grapple and restrained condition. Oh, let's fix go. Flesh begins to kind of undulate and move and you hear these awful kind of sickening pop noises as his shoulders almost pop out of his joints and you can hear his knees and hips

kind of release and move as he slithers grossly out from underneath of this thing and really moves out of his sneeze. Grasp as a bonus action. Nice. And then I'm going to try to use my action to free Grickup. The downside is that I have disadvantaged, on strength checks.

Okay. Oh. I love that trade-off. So I will use my action to attempt. It would be a strength check. So I... Yeah, I'll do my best. Yeah.

But I wanna like, even if I know I can't, like, save him myself, I want to try... It'll be a strength contest, actually. Oh, it's like spaghetti knot after the bingo. So do I just roll at disadvantage and add my strength pot of art? Correct. Especially not telling me.

Unless you're prof. Are you proficient? No. With, okay. Not in strength. No. I got a 13. Not all.

They got a 17. Okay. So I am spending my action attempting to help free Grico. I will say that because you are helping, Gricka will be able to roll at advantage on his turn. Nice. That's my whole turn. It is Grico's turn.

You watch as Torbeck is easily able to maneuver from beneath these vines. It seems easier. as all the attention is turned towards Gideon and the small piglet in his arms. But the weight of this vine is still pressing heavily on you. You feel the heaviness on your chest. It's hard to breathe.

You are struggling as you're sinking into the earth. You actually feel the sponginess of the earth behind you now almost like a quicksand. And you feel that the longer you're pressed into this, the more likely you are to sink deeper and deeper into the soil. I'm writing down what I think is gonna happen. I'm gonna make an intelligence check to see if I would know the right thing to know.

Natural 20 folks. Oh! A moment of clarity! 22. I... He's sun... What does it call? He's sunrises.

It's like the end of the notebook. I pause. Dude, really? I slowed down. Time stops. My confusion leaves me. I remember who I am. I remember who I am, and I realize I could do some inane shit,

but I see that we're being crushed into the earth, and we are being smashed by these vines, and it's my fault. I see the pig. We need a tunnel. We need to burrow. And in a moment of clarity, as time is frozen, I pull out my ocarina, and I start playing, and it plays the entirety of the great gig in the sky by Pink Floyd.

pink floyd in its entirety that studio recording as I did. It takes everyone wait. As my firm ships into a land shark, a billet, a smaller billet, and I begin to burrow. Or I don't know if that actually, can I? You rolled a natural 20. I had just described to you that the ground beneath you

is acting almost like a quick sand. Yes. So I'm gonna give you the opportunity. to decide if you feel like burrowing into that is a good idea. I'm gonna burrow out of it. I'm gonna try to basically dig away to have a path for everyone to get through.

That's all of the ground. I'm confused what I'm, I'm confused about the situation. So when you got to this place, I mentioned that the ground itself was spongy and buoyant. A tunnel wouldn't be left behind. The plant itself that

with spilling at all that water has been destroyed, there is now excess liquid inside of the earth, tunneling would probably kill you. It's like swampy, glott. It is like mixing sand with too much water. I will turn into the Landshark, because I already said it. No, I'm giving you the ability to do anything else.

You've got a natural 20. So you are smart, I had described that before you got the natural 20. I think you are smart enough to know how something like quick sand would work, and that something like digging isn't going to help you. instead going to actually cast speed with plants. Let's fucking go.

Let's fucking go. And I am going to use my speak with plants as I'm being wrapped up, and my mouth is going to open, and I'm going to wail the entirety of the studio recorded of the drink gig in the sky by Pink Floyd. In an attempt, in an attempt, James Heppoletta, in an attempt for the beauty of my singing to, to, to just sing the most beautiful song that I can

as I can speak with plants, and I'm going to try to make it such a beautiful thing I'm trying to make the plant cry and has eyes to cry from. Hundreds of them. And I'm going to make it try to cry and that is what I'm trying to do. Okay. Okay.

Roll a persuasion check. At advantage? I don't know if you've heard Grit Gicking the sky, but I think. That's all I'm saying. Performance? Performance. Performance are good.

I'll have you roll two. I'll have you roll performance at advantage, but a straight persuasion. And your performance will determine the DC of the persuasion. That's a cool thing. That's a cool thing to do. Yeah, it's cool. I'll use two twists.

I'm going to use that twist. We have plenty of twists. We have plenty of twists. That's a cool thing to do. Okay, one of the four. I'm gonna use two more twists. We got train twists, you know? Two more twist.

Gold boy. Why don't gold boy? Where? Oh, yeah. This rolls two. Really? No, I'd roll that until 20. Oh!

You gotta roll, we're from Derek. 22. 22. And so, performance of 22, and what's the other one? Persuasion, just normal. Oh. I'm gonna roll the guy. Just gave me the natural 20.

Oh. Okay, I'm using two more twists. Just use one. Use one. Oh, yeah. Persuasion? That'll be a 21. Back in the bank.

This plant creature doesn't have emotions in the way that a human or a humanoid creature would. It doesn't have. So making it cry would be nearly impossible. However, it can get distracted. and the sounds of your song are enough to draw its attention to you and away from everything else. You see that the music has an effect on it in a way that music has an effect on a lot of things, just that the driving beat and how primal that can be to just nature in general.

And there is something about this song, the cadence of it, how long it is. This is as long as Freebird? How long is this song? It's short of the free. It's short of the free. But it's a pretty long song, I'm assuming? Five, six months. Yeah.

It's entirely instrumental and improvised vocals. It's very good. It's very good. Look it up. If you're like if you had performed a song by Foghatt, I probably would have let it work. But because it's- My head canon is it in my mind as I finally have this moment of clarity and I cast people with plants.

I'm hearing the Great Ging in the sky, but instead I'm going, High Cross! I'm just distracting it with how bad it is. And that is exactly what's happening. No, you start seeing slow ride by Fogat. Slow ride. Yeah, yeah.

Take it easy. That's exactly what I'm going to get it. And because you picked Foghap, it works. And you are able to distract this creature for a significant amount of time, Frost, you are the only person that's left trapped by this thing, and its vines move away from you. They begin to beat against the ground in tune

with slow ride by Fogger. And this creature is not even necessarily looking at Grico, it's looking up towards the sky and just vibing. And you feel like you have a, small window that you, not anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore. Because it's pounding you into the ground.

No, it's pounding the ground next to you. You're being sprayed by bits of water as these vines hit the ground and the moisture is erupting out of it. Whatever had produced that liquid that was flowing down into that basin, now that's been destroyed, it is filling the ground beneath you. You feel it almost wobble as you move on it and you realize you have a, a, a, a, small window of opportunity to leave this place and make your way back towards it.

I also want to be clear that the plan can understand the lyrics of slow ride by plot back. And you do see that it is. Slow ride, that sounds cool. And you see that it's notting. It's taking it easy. It's taking it easy. It's listening. Do I feel that if I move 60 feet that I would be out of danger?

You imagine that if you moved 60 to 100 feet, you would at least be out of danger enough as long as you continue to move past that. You wouldn't want to stay at that point. Endeavour to paralyze the creature and probably kill myself and the others, maybe saved. No, no, I have to risk it.

Why don't I always have to make the fucking adult choices in the room? Gideon, hold on! I'm gonna cast Vortex Warp on Gideon. And assuming that he can take an object with him like, oink, you will be transported. 90 feet away from the creature. What do you mean?

Hold on the, wha! You get, like, apparated from like the Harry Potter movie where you like, you get twisted. You get up in your stomach and your eyes pop out and in a nightmare configuration you land 90 feet away. You're pulling a back for a crime. You die immediately. Oh, jeez.

Where does this bacon, jerk you come from? And then I'll use feline agility to double my 30 feet of movement to 60, and I will fly away. I'll just whee! Perfect. You're like the cat in the sale video. Yep. Sale. That'll be the conclusion of my turn, having got me at least oink Gideon and myself to safety.

I'll turn and watch. Breni, it's your turn. And since I'm already out, if I feel like everyone's out in a way, I would just book the fuck. Well, the three of you are still there, but the two of them are out. But you see that they could easily make an escape. You don't know how long slow ride,

take it easy is gonna last. But considering the fact that it's, what, three minutes on, four minutes on, that's many turns in combat. You feel like, if they could do it. That's 30 rounds, I dash 30 times. It's a fluffy seat and philosophers stone or the music stuff flying in the background.

And so, yeah, you dash. I will dash to wherever Gideon is now standing safely away from the plants. You do that. Back in the same direction, you're heading back towards the small farm. I fucking told off. Are you okay, you getting?

How's it what I'm doing? Oh no. That was going, Dan. You can't stop. What? I had no idea. I'm in the job. I hate you guys.

I got a little weird one. I got that one that's always at the bottom of the That's awful. Oh, that hurt you too? It's a pretty possible. Yeah. I'm definitely having pork rides in that. It's not.

Oh. Then it is, it is, it is, Sprout's turn. That's the name of this thing. I slipped out like first turn. I'm like a, I'm like a, you jelly this way out.

So I'm gonna see if this plant continues to stay entranced by you. Take it easy. I'm gonna use a dread to re-roll. Great. Yeah, you got them. It stays entranced for this round. Oh gosh. That's Gideon's turn. I'm assuming you're gonna continue to move.

I think I'm super far away. You're 90 feet away. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'll move. I'll move continuously. We're jogging. You're jogging. Yeah.

Torback? I would dash. Having seen you escape and everybody's getting warped out, I would just dash and use my grapple immunity to not get you in the bag. Grico, you stand alone as the water continues to... Shit, I thought he was gone. Can I grab him just take away?

I thought you would have run when you used your... I scoop him up and I just take off. I'll allow it because I don't think it would because he's so small and you're so strong. I'm so big. I would, yeah, I'll allow it. Get on your shoulders and I will fast ride as I sing slow ride.

Yeah, you would notice that as I'm moving though, I'm not moving like you would normally see Torbeck move. My limbs are a little bit longer and it's almost like there's less rigidity in my limbs and I'm just like, my limbs kind of hyper-extend as I move and it looks kind of gross and weird. muskidavis rubber or rubber as normal. It's like on a water bed.

Just like. Disgusting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it comes back. And it is with that that you are all able to run from this place, now realizing what has succumbed to the animals that lived here, the animals that had escaped, but able to save one. The small piglet named Oink is not turned into cracklands,

but is safe, albeit shaking and scared and hungry in your arms. You are all able to rush back to where the farm had stood. In the 400 rounds it took for him to play a fog hat, I had fashioned like almost like a little Bjorn. Baby Bjorn. Piggy Bjorn. A little piggy Bjorn.

And a wink would be just right at everyone and I've slipped on like motorcycle goggles. It's like raising ears on. little hard hat with a little motorcycle helmet hat as we sprint away. It's very cute. It is very cute. You do that.

And oink nozzles into your shoulder and makes little oinking noises. Every time you hit a rock and it jostles him, he lets out a squeal of pain. He's clearly unwell. But he is slowly coming to trust you as he looks up at you with his tube eyes. And you make your way back to the farmhouse.

And it is as you had left it. All aside from the fact that you see that Yuan is not where you had left him, but towards the east, you see that he's planted down in the ground and he's undulating and moving and chanting in some strange way. You can, the wind whips through and you can and smell the scent of his, the trash

and the rotting bits that are part of just his compost heap. But as he writes, it's almost as if he hears you and he writes himself and he begins to move and you see that where he had been hunkered down, there is now a ring of toadstools and all of them illuminated with a glow that you are familiar with. It is a glow similar to that of the witchlight. But instead of magenta,

It is a beautiful, dark, purple, and blue. Oh. They glow bright, and then they get softer, and then brighter and softer. And he turns to look at you. I've made contact with the mushroom peddlers, and they've allowed me to set up or teleportation circle for you.

Thank the gods. That's great, and it's beautiful. All we need to do is step inside, and we'll be to them in a flash. We could, but we all have a little bit of bad experiences with that. Are we sure it's... Did you get the animals? We got an animal. Well, one's better than none, and we can get the rest when we come back.

They ain't going anywhere. We'll do that. Yeah, that sounds good. There's not fucking lie to the guy. They're all dead. They're all dead. It's just Little Oink. And I don't know how he was going to survive without his family.

Damn it, Cremie. That's a shame. You're going to have to get new animals. Night Shade, no. What do we do about pull little oink? Well, we put him back in the pen and... Let him shop to death. Put them in the pen.

Maybe we put you in the pen, right? Yes, sir. gonna blen him. Yeah, the only person is getting left by himself and no friends is you, okay? He looks really sad as a tear rolls down his cheek. Oh, yeah, good, all right? We'll keep an oink, all right?

Disgustion's over. Well, I guess we can just tell her the old hide. You're gonna keep oink? I mean, yeah, obviously. Aren't you gonna get that little gator? I thought we were going back for that guy. Well, I was gonna wait until the end of this adventure once you got to the end

the campaign module, we could go back and scoop them up, but I mean, it won't be dangerous. Why, any more dangerous than letting him starve next to a giant Marlborough? Yeah, no, you're right, I mean, why don't you ask, Oink, see if he wants to come along? I turn over to Oink, and I grab this snout. And I say, Oink, you won't come alone.

He oinks twice, and you see as he nuzzles his little snout into you. Oh, boy. He canonically looks like just a small, version of Waddles from Gravity Falls. Absolutely. Exactly Waddles just shrunken down. He's been a helmet on, all right?

That's good to have him. He doesn't. Just a little tiny helmet, that's great. Um, well, is Pinn cushion with us? Has she been with us the whole song? Yeah. What are you for you? She's been attached to your leg.

Uh, hey Pink cushion, do you think if we take on, there'd be some sort of horrible, like a kind of, like, hag curse on us. Because I'm paranoid about that. I'm not sure. I didn't think so. I mean, it could happen if Granny Nightshade found out that the pigs weren't actually dead and that you had stolen one.

But if she truly believes that the pigs are all dead and that this one just happened to be yours and you brought it, with a bit of deception, I think, not that I condone that, of course, but with a bit of deception, I think you could avoid that altogether. What would you possibly learn?

and that all of the pigs were killed. There were at least six pig corpses in that forest in addition to all the goat. I'll take a fat hog with me everywhere I go. What's one more? Jesus Christ. I'm going to need you to stop saying the phrase fat hog, all right? It's literally, he's 38 times in the last hour.

One hog, the phrase, fat. Yeah, man, look at this thing. This is one fat hog. It's offensive. Look at him. He's wasting away. Are you kidding? He's all radius.

He's not that hammered. Oh, you know? Oh, boy. I tried. Right now I'm picturing Granny Nightshade sorting through pig bones to make sure that they were all there and that's worth the price of keeping Oinkalah, in my opinion.

So let's do it. Oh, we can probably ignore that. Let's go to the mushroom gas. Let's all never discuss that again. I got Fulins in my side. Oh, I took two. Two piercing damage. Are you gonna be okay?

You can heal yourself, just don't cast planet. On the floor. Oh, my shrimp circle. Do you guys like my beautiful singing? I won't be able to come with you, no. I won't be able to come with you, but I'll wait for you here. Oh no. All right, let's go everybody. You shocked me with your ability to guide us here. Thank you.

You're welcome. I'll happily guide you back when it's all said and done. Will we know how to teleport back? Yes, the mushroom peddlers will be able to help you. All right. This is some kind of trick. I'm gonna hex you forever and cause horrible, painful necrotic death and then raise you from the dead. He's made out of trash. What threat could possibly? It's not, I promise. Okay.

Ewin, you're too nice to be with Granny. We're not taking him too. Let's get in the fucking circle. All right? We can at least find him a nice hipster couple in the city. Come on over here. You can live in my pockets. You'll be right at home, make-up post. So good.

I tell them what a way. That's not good. Well, when this adventure's over, we can come back and build a large tumbler. I wish that were something I could do. But Granny Nightshade took a piece of my shrubbery form, and now I'm bound to her forever until I get it back. So if we were to return your banana peel pith,

then you'd be free. Be freed. Underneath all this garbage, I'm but a simple plant man. I don't have it to the list. We, on and I'm on it, they have 45 different things that we have to check off this list. Our fault is like, the dude, delete one, delete one. That's right. It's all in red.

It's all in red at the top. We've capped out. Goodbye, Yon. It was great meeting you. I'll see you on the other, well, I'll see you back on this side. Yeah, it was great meeting you, really. Thank you for the positive affirmations.

I'll say that it's a trash can, not a trash can every morning to remind myself that I do have worth. It doesn't help, but you can do it anyway. I'm gonna try. Tiffany helps with you the next room. Yeah, see you, Gregos X. Goodbye.

So long, Barn. Can we get away from this smelly nightmare? We all take two night we have. It's a lot of music. Yeah. We all spin around like a Super Mario world. You all step into this mushroom circle, and as you do, the blue and purple lights begin to undulate

and brighten as they as they as, They almost throb and pulse before they illuminate at their absolute brightest. It's almost now a pale pink lavender light that washes over all of you. As you feel yourselves, as you feel yourselves get smaller and smaller and smaller. And then you feel your limbs disappear. Your bodies become fungal as you all take on different forms of mushrooms. and then you feel yourselves pulled through this network of mycelium, this communication system that mushrooms connect to each other with,

and you feel yourselves pulled through it, flying at incredible speeds beneath the earth, until all of a sudden you find yourself spilling out, once again in these mushrooms forms as you begin to grow and grow and grow back into your regular forms. the emotional manipulation that had overcome you when you'd stepped into the garden completely gone from you in this space. As you find yourself in a very dark and damp cave, you look around and everything is so dark that you can make out no shapes. You hear a soft humming sound, but that's all you can make out before eventually your eyes begin to adjust.

and you see that there are these small lanterns dotted throughout the cave, these small what look to be cages and inside of them, mushrooms of different colors, bioluminescent, that glow and illuminate the space. And as your eyes continue to adjust, they get brighter and brighter until light spills out and fills this room. Looking around, you see that there is a small patch off to the side, which looks to be some sort of garden patch,

where you see a variety of mushrooms, of different shapes and sizes, none, that you've ever seen before in your life. And in front of you, standing about four, maybe four and a half feet tall is what looks to be a mushroom person. The cap on their head looks almost like a beret, but is shaped, but is a mushroom cap.

And they're wearing a buttoned up, almost like a pea coat. She looks very dapper. as she looks out at you and she says, oh my God, there are people here. Saibin, you are not gonna believe it. And she slowly unbuttoned her coat and you see that standing on,

she's standing on the shoulders of almost an identical looking mushroom person all along the lines of the pea coat. You see different vials of mushrooms and different colors, all labeled with different things for different moods and different things. Sibin looks up at her and says, Oh God, Silo, this is great.

They're exactly what I expected. This is gonna be a wild ride. And that's where we'll end the session. Hey. Well done. Great session, Nikki. Thanks for running it. That was very fun.

Join us next week where we'll be joined by Zoe Seldana. We'll be playing. Join us next week for more Warhammer mini building. No. We're kidding. We're going to try to stay as well as we can. No, it's not two mushrooms in a trench coat. It's two mushrooms in a pea coat.

That's pretty funny. It's very different. And we're humans. No cap. For real, for real. That was very funny. That was pretty good. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Evantra's podcast.

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