Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 58 | The Birds and the Bees

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

The Krew find themselves in Yon and on the path towards Bitter End... Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/Op65-mVpOdI?si=kSSZeKctwdJUWN5T

Welcome to Legends of Adventress. Torbeck's name is Torbeck, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. How have you harnessed her magic? Who are you? Frost reads the letters. Sister, I don't have Idle-on-thorn. If I did, I would use it to free bloody beak and send it after the Jeberwalk

that lairs in the palace and hunts in your forest. How Zybilna managed to befriend it, I'll never know. You've a very nice reading for us, Rostling. Thank you. Thank you. Dear sister, there's no use asking Endelin if she has the horn. She doesn't tell us anything. But if we don't find it soon, I fear what the Jeberwalk will do

after it gets tired of prowling the forest and turns its fiery gaze elsewhere. Must I remind you that we need the unicorn's horn to free creatures from the cauldron's time-freezing magic? What do you think Zibylna will do to us? we treacherous three. If she's no longer bound by her cauldron's magic, Lorna. We're going to yawn, all right?

Do you know how to get there? I'll figure it out. I do. You all watch as Torbeck stands up. His shadow gets large behind him as it casts shadow over all of you as he slowly sinks down into this throne. Immediately you

hear the crack of lightning as from these two pillars high up on the top of the mountain like lightning rods, they connect and slam down into this throne. You watch as Torbeck's entire body begins to shake and convulsion. You can see his entire skeletal system.

Torbeck, you slump forward. Your body is wracked with pain. You still see remnants of worlds beyond the stars. You feel like you are inches from death. But the throne that you had been sitting on has now opened an entryway to yawn behind. Mind you. Torbeck, your body is racked with electricity.

You have being, your form has been pulsed through with electricity for five minutes, ten minutes. As the rest of you stare on his horror in horror, not just as Torbeck is being electrocuted in this chair, but as Frost lays on the ground face first in the muck, all life draining from his body. All the while, little Kachia is around the... the edge of the tree line, rummaging and paying no attention to any of you. Torbeck, you have spent the last 10 minutes mentally barreling through space and time,

stars shooting past you as you feel your mind travel beyond the edges of space into a black hole. It's as if you've been here for seconds and hours and years all at the same time before finally, you come to and you feel the electricity shoot from hair to hair to hair all over your bugbear form, and you realize that your mind has been open. You feel an intrinsic connection with the arcane,

with magic. As the electricity begins to fizzle out. Is this what clarity is like? It feels like, no, I don't want to go back. It feels like time stands still for a second before you all realize what's just happened. Torbeck, you are sitting here. in this chair and you

can smell the burnt hair from the electricity that coursed through you, frost your body your chest does not rise and fall with breath and behind you for a moment you see what looks like a portal up here Torbeck behind this chair is that the lightning itself had channeled an opening

into yawn before it quickly fizzles out and you are all in this glade what do you do? And you are all Not yet Oh, okay, sorry Mostly but not yet

Do I get the sense That does my madness Where I'm trying to like Yeah, how do you I try to the dome frost too? Oh my God How did you come over you That feeling away once I sat in the chair

That went away the moment that he sat in the chair and the electricity started. Oh, so we just been standing here watching him get electrocuted for 10 minutes? There is almost a... And Frost has just been slowly dying on the ground for 10 minutes?

You feel yourselves almost stunned as this is happening. And I'm using 10 minutes as a rough approximation of how long it took. It's been 20 minutes? But you all feel as though barely any time has passed at all. Because if you're in a waking dream

watching this happen. Can we simulate us? 600 rounds of that. Everyone roll for an initiative. My actions to continue foaming at the mouth. Yeah, I continue bleeding out. Torbeck, you take it no damage. You feel, you actually feel invigorated

almost as if you benefited from a long rest. Okay. And your mind feels even more clear than it had before. Does Frosty to make a... Yes, Frost. does need to make a death saving throw. 600 death saving pros. Yeah, I'm going to make 600.

No, no, no. No, you only had one fail. I know for a fact that I failed twice. No, you only had one fail. Why would I, oh, you're at twice? Why would I copy it wrong from life? Who would do that? Who would do that?

I really hate that. I really hate that. You've had a lot going on to me. We've told you cowards shit. Same energy. I'm gonna do it on the sheet, too. That's amazing. Why would I have transcribed it incorrectly?

Surely this won't be a natural one. Sure. You succeed. Oh, wow. Oh, you had two. You had two. Oh, wow. Okay. So Frost is laying there.

And then he slows down. Oh, do a bit of you go. I think Crumby was like foraging, weren't you? Were you there the whole time? I don't know. I don't know. I just didn't get involved. He just didn't get involved.

He was a not my circus, not my monkey's kind of guy. He didn't fall to the check either. So I passed my check. Yeah. And in the reality of the world, that all happened in like 20 seconds. In seconds. Yeah. Um.

Oh my God, Froze. Oh my God. Too big. Get. Are you okay? Well, definitely. No, I'm glad I didn't. get to the chair first.

And I'm only a little upset. I threw that rock at Frost. It's Angela. No, of course I knew his name. I'm going to walk up. He was Kellogg. Actually, I've been running. I have a rock on my hand, and I stop at Frost's body.

He's bleeding. Are you okay? Hey, buddy. Frosty. Here, have some bananas. He's rubbing your throat up and now he's giving you budberries. Oh, I think the mash the bananas. The man put the nose.

He's clapping. Yeah, he's making a banana match. I don't know. I don't know. I'll take one hit point. For all, yeah. I'll go check on Torbeck. Do I, am I drew it that cat?

Oh, wait. I actually have this the spell slot for that. I actually almost didn't. Okay. Well, you all had a long rest. We got a long rest. You slept overnight and then traveled all day. So you didn't do anything during,

well, it only took you 20 minutes to get here, so. Oh, my spells aren't prepared. I will fix that. That's fine. Whatever you. I always have a beer beer. I cast good beer probably more than any druid that you know. That's true.

That's true. That's true. Um, I will cough. One hit point. My eyes, uh, dirt open. Oh my, my, oh, what happened? Guys, what the fuck? Frosty!

Guys, what the fuck? Well, I- fucking know y'all. I don't know. We all wanted to get to that chair. Yeah, it was the first one in fraud. He told me, no, no, Toram!

He was the first one in fraud. He was the first one in fraud. He made the size he okay? was Gideon. It's not very clear. Torbeck's pretty sure, Torbeck started the whole rock throwing pain. Torbeck! You gave me the idea, aren't there? I knew it.

You know that gobonyids are very suggestive? When one of us does something, it just turns into all of us doing that. When the two of you were throwing rocks, it just looked like so much dang fun. It was a lot of fun, and it was effective. In my, in my village, the Marconerana had a death grip on my entire

village for an entire year. That's crazy. We couldn't stop! My head hurts. Well... Why did you throw the rocks in my head? We were too close to Torbeck's throne. Why do you look so well?

You know, that's a good question, Mr. Crammy. Aside from the horrific taste of copper in Torbeck's mouth, Torbeck feels pretty good. There was a span of time where Torbeck began to travel. Far distances and long amounts of... of time. While you were being electrocuted. Saw the beauty of the infinite and terrifyingness of a

wisdom saving throw for me. Oh shit. Okay. Oh, well. Oh, I got 19. Oh, that's great. In your mind, you hear a disembodied voice. It doesn't seem to be speaking any language that you know.

Really, it doesn't sound like a language at all. It's almost as if whatever this sound is, the sound of the stars is being translated in your head for you, and you hear the words, I have traveled from beyond the stars, claimed by a black star at the edge of night. I have become nameless, sit upon my throne and unravel. I'm talking to Kremia's, so.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Winnecing the beauty of the infinite and the terrifyingness of the ab- What? What, okay. Hold on, hold on. Well, that was weird. Weird.

So Dormac continued to travel and there was stars and darkness and... DORBEC just feels like DORBIC has changed. DORBIC has seen things that you mere mortals couldn't begin to fathom. And that all happened while you were being electrocuted for five to ten minutes. Oh! You don't remember that? DORBEC went on a wonderful journey. I think this actually holds true with a lot of people who've been struck by lightning.

This is the kind of thing that they say. Wonderful journeys. It is as you're saying this to him, Kremi, that you were able to watch this entire thing from a place of pure consciousness. You were not affected by the pull of this throne. You were not having rocks hurled at your head. You were able to just watch this uninterrupted. And you remember that the lightning came from yawn itself.

And as you look up through the cloudy sky, you're able to see what look like lightning rods dotting along the mountain face behind the lake. The whole province is sort of lightning theme. Yes, and so you are able to see these mountain rods off of the distance. They are incredibly tall golden metal rods. Some of them topped with moons.

Some topped with the sun. And you could see the lightning connecting to them. And when Torbeck sat down, the lightning channel directed into that throne. And at one point you were able to see what appeared to be behind him an archway open up that looked like an entrance to yawn.

But that's no longer there anymore. Do those lightning rods look at all like the ones we saw the unicorn? They look exactly like the ones you saw around the unicorns in closure. Wait a minute. Latin. And you got visions, right? Yeah, well, and voices.

But, you know, that's pretty normal for Torbeck. Right, right, right. Drinks to get rid of the voices. Anything about the unicorn or the King of Hearts or anything like that? Something about nameless, the nameless edge of darkness. Something about sitting on the throne becoming unraveled. All right. You know, how put together is Torbeck really in the first place?

It just seems like that's just, you know, kind of what happens. Things us people wouldn't believe. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's just what it is. I just... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion? Attack ship, I don't know what an... Somebody doesn't know what an attack ship is. Sea beams glittering near the Tanhauser gate.

What fuck is he talking about? I don't know. He might've been here by the Latin too. How long have I been out? Huh? Oh. We all got our brain scrambled. Gideon...

Except made, Giddy? Well, except for... Giddy and I... It's not for me too. Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah. How's your head wound? How's your head wound?

I think I may have, I think Gideon knocked you aside so that you hit your head on that tree stone. I definitely threw a rock at you and it hit you in the head. I did not die, but I am trying to look for the way into yon. Did you say that I noticed that there was an opening previously and now the opening is gone? Yeah, it had appeared directly behind you right as like the final bursts of lightning.

had been entering into your body. Oh, man. It appeared, and it looked like something that you would have been able to step through, but it is no longer present. Uh, Torre, okay. Um, did I notice that? Yeah.

Look, Toramex willing to, you know, take one growing the team here, just try something, but if we're gonna do this again, then we gotta be quick about it, all right. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I was about to ask you to do the same thing, Same thing.

Yeah, Torbush, you're gonna stand up and sit back out. Oh, how about, girls? I thought you're gonna say grab the kid. What, no, well, hey, I mean, you're trying to go to Yon too, right? Well, I want to be, I was really hoping to become a star, so I want to be at the theater. Oh, oh, we know somebody that goes to that school.

We, yeah. The Fee. Oh, yeah, the Grand Theater of Mother Horn on top the highest peak in yawn. Huh? What? You wanna be an actor? Just like the snake kid.

Oldest snake kid. No, Mr. Mr. Snake. Oh, young snake. Jeremy. What was his name? I forget his name. Jonathan? Jonathan.

Jonathan Snake, Snake Jr.? Do you mean Snake as Snake Jr? No, I might have been Snake Jr. Oh, Snake Jr. Oh! Snake Snake Snake, Snake Jr. He was a good land. And we sent him off to acting school?

No, he was gone already, man. We just met the parents. Oh, no. We encouraged him to pursue his dream of acting. much to the crippling disappointment of his parents? I don't think he ever was there. He was not there. They were sad.

They wanted to come home. Oh, there's a snake! You can just don't get eaten bought a snake. We'll help you get there. We know somebody that's there. We can say, hey, well, you say, To be fair, and I'm not saying this to be rude or anything, but I don't really need you,

because like, I know how to get into Jan and you don't. So I was just going to go to Yon, and then get there myself. Oh, excuse me. I thought we was gonna try to help you pursue your dream of acting as like Snake Snake, Snake, Jr. As she was saying that, Dorebeck had gotten up and was about to sit back down

to stop. Wait. You can get us in? Quick hurry, Turbeck's thine's gonna get out of here in a second. Yes, the entrance to Yon is just along the base right here, but I can't quite find the rock to get in. All right, Thorpe can't hold it.

Just sit down. Oh, shut! I don't, shut! You sit down again. You sit down and for a second, you feel your body tingle with electricity. You see all of the hairs on Torbeck's body stand on end. But the lightning rods did not seem to connect

and nothing happens with this throne. It's as if you have used up all of the magic within it. Maybe it can't be Torbeck twice. Well, I mean, maybe it's just out of juice. I mean, you know what? Maybe, maybe, The Indian can try. Sure,

run on it. I'll bet you're strapped to a chair now and again and zapped for, you know, normally for fun, but I'd give this a drive. What? Oh my goodness.

I can't. Don't drag to go people. What's it mean? Don't fucking share that information. How would that be fun? Hold on. Grigo, you just wouldn't understand, man.

Then I'll teach that kind of thing at the wreck. I don't know. No, no, it's not fun. No, it's not. It's fun. Oh. He's a hot. Is it like a game?

You can say. I mean people play. Like a game of what like, I've heard about these new fangled electronic type games. Okay, maybe electronics involved. Exactly. Basically what you do. Well, yeah, exactly right. Yeah, that's right.

Give it a draw. Well, Torbeck swat, Swabell. All right. You sit down in the chair and you don't even feel the electricity that Torbeck described. I feel that. Is it working? Perhaps we should bludgeon him to death with the rocks. What's the matter, Ross?

Are you a little wild dinner? Austin! Are you still over about that? Look at his school. I mean, it's getting over it, man. I mean, I was like 10 minutes ago. Blood is still. We know what's happening here.

Blood is still dripping out of your ears. See, real friends don't hold grudges. Yeah, I mean, it's just undercoming, though. It was just a couple. of rods. Yeah, we only almost the lottery. That's right. It was 10 minutes ago, man. I'll remember that. What's a few rocks between friends?

Yeah. Come on, Ben. You have another banana. Banana, you're not you when you're hungry. Well, did I do it? Is the portal opening? I don't know. Do you feel anything? Well, I felt it for a little bit. Yeah, no, I'm just kind of like, no, there's no line.

What do you mean is the door? What do you mean is the portal opening? Portal for what? For Yon. There's no portal for Yon. What? You get in, no, you get in over here because the Brighanox, they have mines, and there is an entrance to one of the Brighanox mines over here,

but it doesn't go deep into the mines. It will actually take us out to the Stone Bridge that goes over the misty pathway, and then that will take us into Yon proper. It's still at the very edges, and it will be a long distance for us to travel. But if I can find this stupid little cave thing, then we'll be able to get in. Wait, so, hold on. Then why don't you bring us to this seat? Yeah, Dormick sat down.

Dormick saw like a portal holding. Well, because, because Squirt told me that that seat was what marked the fact that the cave was over here along the base of the mountain. So the, the, the chair doesn't have anything to do with getting into yon? I don't know. It's like a landmark. Then what happened? I don't fucking know. I mean, the fucking.

for you, lost your name mine. Do you know what it's like to see the infinite? It's a concept. That's not even, that's abstract. Torbeck's losing his mind over here. I don't know if you saw what you thought you saw, Tollbeck, you know what I mean? That's really pretty though.

The lightning has like a strange pink hue to it now that it didn't have before. Oh well, and then she's gonna start rummaging around in the underbrush. I'm sure that's fine. And then eventually, a few minutes later, you hear her begin to squeal. I found it, I found it, I found the little entrance,

We can get in right over here. But some of you are going to be very big. Well, I guess we'll never know what was through that pool there. Wait, someone's gonna be big? What? Big? Some of you are going to be a little big, you're going to have to really squeeze in. You might want to have some,

you might want to have the big ones go first. Which one of us might be too big? Well, I think the owl bear is going to struggle. And I think that- Oh, who see now, she's a tiny little pea pod. And then I think you are going to be a little bit. Oh, yeah. That's just classic.

And you look really tall, but underneath that fur, you probably are like a slinky and you just get really small. So you should be fine. Yeah. I think the rest will be, you are definitely really small. You can get in super easily. You're actually shorter than me, so I think that you should go in less. I'm looking at all better.

Guys, I don't know what's the pudding in kids meals these days. A little bit of a freaking late at this one. So I think we should put the big ones in first, so that way if they get stuck, the rest of us can push and push and push until they make their way through. And then once they're through, they'll pop at the other side and they can wait for us there. And hopefully there's nothing like creepy or mean.

creepy or mean or bad on the other side that will eat them or capture them or push them off the side of the mountain until we get through. Well, Ricko, can't you do that thing where you turn into that thing and you dig even bigger holes, man? I fought a big man

and be able to do it himself. The last time I went first, the last time I went first down a hole and this damn place got caught up by snakes. He seen snakes that went off to the theater to learn how he and stopped. Fairs, yeah. They made the mean spaghetti dinner.

They make out of the whole. Yeah, mean spaghetti dinner. The last time we're still not entirely sure how they made the dinner, but. They were quite, I mean, their tails are quite dexterous. The last time we climbed into a hole, Grego turned in some horrible mud monster.

Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. That was, look. That was, that was weird. It was a really weird adventure. Who turned into a mud monster? A couple of us did. No, so are you, Frosty, didn't you?

At least two of you. At least two of us. I think you were lying to me. That was Torbeck's like very first adventure. Like we fucking walked out of the end. He doesn't know the end. You don't know the theater because I don't know why I'm ready for my city. We just met each other yesterday.

Yeah, that's totally fair. Are we really nervous? He's going to be able to fit. He's a little guys. You kind of look like a nerd. Just going to call him big grass. I mean, are you afraid to go into the hole? I'm not afraid to go in the hole.

Oh. Are you really? Could you have made the thing easier, okay? I'm happy to go first, Greg, I'm happy to go first. No, Torquette doesn't go first. I'm happy to dig it out. No, Rickko.

I don't want you to dig it out. I feel like a bitch would ask me to turn to do a big of a big. You know what, Greg, go. Can you make it smaller, Ricko? I don't enjoy that more. Okay. I make my way for it. He's going to like it.

I start crying at all. I start crawling through the whole lot. I start to crunch and compile me. No, stop. I'm just, I'm making it smaller. He's being really squeezed. He's going from red to blue. Someone will save him.

Yeah. Yeah, I just couldn't pull that. What do you want to do? You want to have a banana. You know what that? Okay, and then roll acrobatics or athletics to see how well you do this way for the cave. Oh, I love this frost.

And then I also want you. This is the best frost. Just petty fraud? Yeah, Derek, it's best fraud. You're gonna look like Play-Doh at the other end of the thing. And then after you roll either acrobatics or athletics, I also want you to roll a dexterity saving throw. While this is happening and I'm waiting for my turn to go in the hole,

I just look at Mr. Crammey and I say, oh, Mr. Crammy, I really feel like we're down playing the things that Torbeck saw. I mean, imagine if you could touch or hold the abstract concept of justice, your mind would be blown. 22 for athletics. I know told them. And then a sterity saving throw, please? I want to believe what you're saying,

but I feel like giving your perspective and your intellect, you could probably see like, just maybe like more than a few dozen things and think you're seeing the fucking infinite. You know what I mean? So it's hard for me to appreciate what you really saw, unless you could maybe somehow put in the words the vastness and horribleness of infinity.

Dormig. I can believe you. Did you reach the inner circle of doubt? Did you see the structures, the infinite sets within infinite sets. Did you realize that it's also nothing and nothing at all? How did you know, Frost?

I, too, was subjected to these visions once. I can push them out of your mind if you want to be free of them, at least for a time, until you can confront what you've seen. Torbock feels like if you do that, Torbeck's going to lose a piece of Torbec. It would just be a calming, compartmentalizing, just to get it to the back of your mind until you're able to reason with the unreasonable.

Torbett will get back to you. And slowly you know that the option is there. I know what you are going through. How's Gideon doing? As did. Asked that conversation. Let me help you out. And that conversation is happening.

Gideon, you are able to make your way through this. And as you are sliding through and angling your body, contorting yourself to the ever-changing size of this cave, you are, it's almost like a dance. And though you can't dance anymore, you are somehow able to make it through. And just as you get towards the end, you hear the voice of the little girl of Kachia.

He's not the fright of spiders, is he? Because the cave spiders that they're in there are horrible and I wouldn't recommend only one person going in. They like to swarm as you hear the skittering of what sounds like thousands of horrifying cave spiders. Hey, what she said? I can hear her over this. Over the weird skittering.

Hey, somebody shout what she said up here. I can't hear her. There's some weird, creepy skiddering. Do you say skittering or littering? I don't know. It could be like a jabberin. It's hard to tell exactly. It's like a-jibran.

Could be little pause. Could be jibran. It could be gibbering. It could definitely be gibbering. It's hard to tell. Wait, pause? I don't know. I don't see anything.

Man, what the girls say? Grummy, what the girls say, man? With this open spotting down there. Is it gibbering or gibbering? You feel, you feel the web brush your face. And you immediately dart out of the way and propel your way and propel yourself almost bullet-like out of this, out of this tunnel, your dexterity holding true for you

as you are able to get out of the way of this cascade of spiders as they rained down around the tunnel. You see they don't seem to leave. You're now on the opposite end of this tunnel. You are firmly in yawn and now level six. As you look into this cave, you see as the spiders cascade down

around the edges of the cave, but none of them make any move to make it out into the light. The air here is thick with condensation. It almost crackles with the ever-present lightning that's in the air that's being traveled, that's being carried from one end of yon to the other via all of these lightning rods. And you see that they're being pulled down

from the storm clouds themselves and pulled into these lightning rods. You look up as you see, as you hear a loud crash of thunder, as the lightning jumps from one rod to the next, and you see far off on the cliff side, on the opposite end, the highest peak in Yon, built into the very rock face itself

is a castle-like structure. The largest lightning rod on top of it is all of the lightning is funneled into this structure, and you see it illuminate with white and almost pink light, the very residual, pink light that had infiltrated the lightning after Torbeck was electrocuted. All of this, you see in a split second,

but the spiders themselves seem to be almost afraid of the crackling lightning in the air, and they do not leave the tunnel. That being said, they have now accumulated inside of the tunnel smelling your blood and hunting for you, and now standing between you and your friends is a tunnel filled with giant... Hey, guys. Hey, guys.

Can we hear it? Send, I'm in. It almost echoes through the tunnel and you, it's almost like a horn. Hey, hey, so Torbeck's supposed to go next, right? No, hey, send either Grico or Frost next. There's no danger. Just come on down. We discussed anything.

Take casual, maybe Frost. He's been kind of a pain in the ass. Wait, wait, wait. So this little girl that said there's a whole bunch of gay spotters, there were no gay spotters, huh? No gay spotters. There are those cave spiders in there, but... I'm happy to San Torvek to deal with all of them cave spiders.

If they're there. If the cave spiders aren't there, Torbeck wants to go before the cave spiders. Grandma, you know me too well, man. That's a whole bunch of cave spiders. Oh, my God, go home. I just wanted Grigold frozen and just bit a little, just a little. It's just like I did the carnival. You clean out plenty of glupe fires.

Yeah. Got in the basement Torbeck, you just got to leap past them, man. I just shot right past them. Do you know how many few hit points I have? Well, that's what I said. Go on next, man. Anyway, okay.

Frost, when you inevitably fail the check, I'll save you. I'll throw my chains out. Frost, no, no, because Frost is going to be a little big baby about all the blood dripping from his skull. I'm going to serenade him so if you'll be, So anyway, here's Blunderball. And I sit casting your wounds. You're gonna kill Maze.

Oh, so, yeah. I play Blunderball as I think I get one for use with my gift of the metallic dragon. Oh, yes, yes you do. It didn't be two free uses. That's gotta be like a conversion thing, right? No, yeah, no, there's... Oh, I have you use it. You have free smell.

I am using two of both of my... Oh, no. Hold on. No, I can do it with the spell slot as well. So I never have to prepare. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I have it double prepared. I'll fix that. I will use, uh, so I've used one from Goodberry. Already I'm gonna do I'm actually gonna cast cure woo. I'm gonna do that and that's for free. So you get two D8. Oh, two D eight. Oh, two D eight. Yeah, six. That's gone. How is that possible? That doesn't make any sense. It's landing on a flat. This is a D8 and it's landing on a flat surface like this. Just stop it.

And it's like, it's not falling on one side. It's not falling on the other side. It doesn't make any fucking sense. 14 points of healing for you. Oh, thank the Lord in heaven. While you're healing, I'm gonna prepare to walk towards the entrance of this cave and start to position myself in a way to get ready.

All right. Once you're ready to make your way through the cave, you can see now that just from all of these tiny tunnels that are built up into the mountain itself, there are hundreds of spiders that are beginning to make their way down. You realize that the cave is, yeah, just by poking your head and you're able to see this. You can see that there are webs lining this space. And you imagine that you could get from one side to the next, but it's going to take some fancy footwork. And so I would need an acrobatics

or in athletics and a dexterity saving throw, unless you have something else in your arsenal that you think that you could use to make it to the other end. No, my dex is absolutely absurd, especially given the nature of my alchemical makeup. I... 30 points of feeling. Wow. Whoa. 2024 cure wounds?

I guess at a second level. It's 48. Yeah. Yeah. Cure wounds is so good now. I already added the 14th, though, another 16. Another 30 on top of it. Another 30 on top of it.

With two spell slots, I healed you... That's max. 46. Yeah, 46, whatever is. Forty-furt's impossible. I'll look into the cage. After all. And I'll see what I say.

see what you tell me that I see, and Torbeck will give a big sigh. All Torbeck is saying, Mr. Gramey, is just imagine being able to explain the pinnacle of humanoid art to an ant, and the ant being able to understand. I just don't think we should take this lightly, and I go into the game. I am going to do an acrobatics check, and then I will do dexterity saving throw, because I am dexterous in nature, and I feel like that that's my special. I love that. That's correct.

I got a 25 on my acrobatics check. Nice. And on my deck saving throw, I got a natural one, but a plus 10 gives me an 11. Okay. Are you going to use twists or you gotta go with it? I don't believe I can after I roll unless I'm on. Oh, no, so which light works differently because if you use them, you have to pull a fakers. So that's...

Torback failed. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah. confident as acrobatist he did not win the deck's saving throat. You are able to get through this tunnel. The problem, however, is that as easily as you are, as easily as it is for you to contort your body through the shape of this tunnel, though Grico has made it a bit

smaller with his mold earth, you were able to slide through it like a hot dog down a hallway. I love that, Derek. Thanks for looking at me in that way. But your fur. gets everywhere, and the spiders get everywhere in your fur. They are going to roll to attack you. Okay.

They got a natural one. Oh. So I actually, I need to roll to see how many. Okay, only two. So it takes you, it takes you two turns to get through this tunnel. Okay. Their first attempt to latch onto you is unsuccessful. You're so covered in fur.

They're not really sure how to deal with this, is you're barreling through this cave. but they do eventually make it towards the fleshy parts of your body, and you feel them begin to gnaw at you doing, oh wow, I'm just rolling like crap. Oh, that's not so bad. 13 points of piercing damage as you feel tiny fangs

pierce into your body, and you're also going to take four points of poison damage. Ooh, okay. But you're able to make it out onto the other end. The moment you spill out into your, You witnessed the same scene that Gideon witnessed, the lightning crackling in the air, the moisture all around you,

and immediately all of the spiders begin to sizzle and pop. You can smell burnt hair as they all shrivel up into these essentially cooked spiders and they all fall to the ground at your feet. Gideon would hear in the cave, burst out of the cave and there'd be spiders falling off screaming and like flailing and looking out for the spiders look out of the spiders fucking fry we have to give them all right now

can hear that dog man that sucks hey it's all right now man you're here you're covered in dead spiders and off webs I actually don't notice the difference I'm gonna turn back around to the cave and just say many spiders how far down in the cave did you have to run in order to reach the side. Tourbank lost track. There were so

many spiders. What? Many spiders. Oh, God. Did you get them all? Did you get them? He said, did you get them? Torbett got a lot of them.

Yeah, they were everywhere. No, he did it. No, he did it. They were in Turbick's hair and Dormack's mouths. There are a thousand spiders left. No, I'm not going through this tunnel because they're all dead.

Torbeck got so many. Toerbeck, you The job wasn't to go through the cave and get all the fucking fire them. Yeah! And leave the cave. We don't know clear about that. Dormick never saw them coming and there's no chance that any of you will either. Oh, God.

What is that mean? What is that mean? Uh-oh. Well, you know, if you're going to be a bunch of wimps, I'll see you on the other side and caught you rushes. Oh, yeah. Let us know. Let us know if this-

Don't send the child. All right, Mishka. All right, Mishka. Okay, Katsya. She'll never make it. She'll never make it. Okay, don't listen to him. Don't listen to him, Katsya, you're doing great.

I feel like I couldn't name was Mishka, wasn't it? No. You watch as Kachya pulls the hood up over her head and she rushes into the tunnel. She's small enough that even with the shrinking of the tunnel itself, there's clearance above her head. And she throws her arms behind her back, like Naruto, and she just runs through this

through this tunnel and you all see her appear mere moments later, not a single spider on her. Wow. Oh. How was it, Katia? They're like, weren't even any spiders in the cave. I don't know what Torbek was saying. They're all dead on the ground on the other side. Oh, very easy. Maybe Torberg did get them all. Sure were a lot of spiders when I went through. Also, you guys are on the other side. Yeah. Oh, and you're also level six.

Yes. Okay. Oh, well, now that you're, how, how did it How has it? I feel like I'm gonna go rush. I feel like it's been like 14 months since I last play. It's been a crazy couple minutes. Yes, it has. Now how you feel that? Now that my brains are no longer coming out of my skull. I think I can think clearly. Yeah. That is remarkable. I really got brained by Dormack there. It's about that. I think I can make it through without issue. Will you be all right? I'll be fun. Just kill the rest of them, Frost. You see any? Just put to two. Well, if I see any, I'll endeavor to crush them with my mind.

You know, I'm telling you, you, what I was going to say? I was going to say. I was going to say. I will. Okay, grossing. I'll start to. I'm probably going to have to, like, really hunker down to squeeze through. But I can, if Gideon Torbay can make it, I can make it.

So I enter the cave. And as soon as I do, I'm going to move at a good pace, but I'm going to look for the exit. It's a straight shoot through the mountain. Oh. But I need you to. and acrobatics or athletics to see how well you make it through the cave and then a dexterity saving throw to see how you handle the spiders. While he's doing that, I just heard a Gideon and I say, so Gidion how things been, Dora feels like we don't talk very much. Well, I mean,

you know, not too bad. It was a little crazy watching getting electrician for 10 minutes straight. Yeah, right? Can you always get one of us? Hey, yeah, I was just come off. Here you go, man. Thank you. I got a 21 for my acrobatic. check and I got a 19 for my dexterity saving throw. You know, that's all, you're a drink. You're a drinker. Similar to what Katya did, you pull your robe, the hood of your robe up over your head,

and you look into the cave. And though it's quite a distance away, you can see the small pinprick of light that indicates to you that that is the exit of this cave. And you begin to calculate. Well, if you move here, if you move there, you see the way that the spider webs glisten in the light on the entrance and you imagine that the way

that spiders would build these webs and the channels that they would come out of, these are the most likely locations for where, at this point, given the amount of time, they would all be located and then Torbeck rushed through and then Katja rushed through. And you believe that you've pinpointed the exact way that you need to travel through this space

to avoid any dangers. And even though part of your head has caved in and you're still bleeding from your ears, you are able to make it through the cave completely unscathed, and you're now level six. And now I make, what? Yeah, you made it through.

And I'm now level six. Excellent. I do that. How is it, Frosty? Well, if you know how to calculate all the things I just calculated, you'll be fine. Easy. Ah, let's take a little bit.

Come on, Hootsie. You go right behind me, Hootsey. I'll protect you from any lingering cave spines. Don't you worry. Your old man is good in the scrap. Good in the scrap, let's go. And I will go with Hitsy behind me. All right, a roll for both of you.

What was the role? Acrobatics or athletics, and then a dexterity saving throw. I'm gonna just do Grico first. Yes, please. Acrobatics, the acro for Grico is a 22. Okay. Dex saving throw.

is a, oh, can I use a Twister rerold? You can, but you'll take a fakers. All the people who are all the sidequesters are really getting angry right now. I'll take a fakers. Okay. I'll gladly take a fakers. Pass the tarot cards down to Mike. I got a ten.

Give him a good cut and shot. But even with your re-roll? Okay, fantastic. I really wanted to dread you, but you were fakersing. I'll get a ten. No, you have to do the cards, Michael. Oh, I'm just gonna roll for Goosey. It's, yes, rule for Hootsie.

Rootsey annihilated the acrobatics. Nice. Oh, classic. She had a natural one on the, on the next safety crew. So we both get the acrobatics, but we fail the dexx. So once you pull your card, let me know what it is and we'll find out what's happening to you.

You can cut that and shovel it and whatever you want. No, I trust you, Frosty. I trust you. Oh, wait, hold on. I'll say this is... Yeah, that was... It is the reverse... Wait, no.

It is the... Upright... Seven of swords. Seven of swords, you say. Oh. Upright seven of swords. And it's a spider. It's a spider!

Oh my God! Are the chances. It's a fucking silkborn. You can get this tarot deck. What? This is so great. This curse table... This curse table

appears in the Crooked Moon book. There are 156 of them. So many. You begin to make your way through the cave. You and Hootsie are going slow. You believe that you are just as smart as Frost. And if he can do this, then so can you. And you are gonna do everything that you need to do

to protect Hootsie. And you are able to get through this tunnel. But about halfway through, you begin to sense that feeling that you've sensed in the air before. You can smell Torbeck's burnt hair. You can see lightning shoot off of the lightning rods. And you know intrinsically that there is witchlight in the air.

As you breathe in a healthy helping of these sports, more than likely from somewhere within the cavern here. Stings like, and then your reality begins to change. Oh, Grigo, don't breathe in the pocket of witchlight. They're to the left. You believe you are turning into a scarecrow. You are convinced that you must stand like a scarecrow with your arms out or you and your allies

will be horribly devoured by swarms of birds. You stop in the middle of this tunnel, blocking Hootsie's path completely as you attempt to do this. And you both are swarmed horribly by spiders. Oh, there's crows! For three rounds. Oh, this fucking shit. Cave crows.

Oh, there's cave crows. What he's talking about? Oh, there's truly ancient deep crows. Remember when Penny Arcade was good? Oh! I look at the in and cross from the other side of the- It's truly ancient deep crows. On the other side of the cave, I look at them and I say,

guys, I think something's wrong. Yes, I think you walked into the witch lane. How many damages are spiders? Hootsie sees that this is out of the ordinary. And she uses her form, and she uses her form, and her beak to constantly push you for me. So you are able, you are not able to block the tunnel in this teaputis.

And she eventually, and she eventually pushes you out of the tunnel, but you're both completely covered in these swarms. You take 26 points. I'm sorry, sorry, I lie. You take 22 points of piercing damage and four points of poison damage. And Hootsie takes 20,000.

seven points of piercing damage and four points of poison damage. As you have three rounds of being bitten by these spiders. Before your invention, how did she take? She took 17 piercing and four poison. Before she's finally able to push you out of the tunnel, you both get to level six and all of the spiders immediately electrify.

and crumble to the ground, but you still believe that you are this scarecrow and you are blocking, you stand right at the exit to this cave. You believe that no one should exit this cave. And though it is only Kremi left on the other side, you are determined to not let him exit this cave. Oh, go in there.

Hold on, hold on. There's so many truly ancient deep coals in there. Grinco, what are you talking about, man? There's so many truly ancient deep crows. How are you guys not seen the fucking deep crows? Griko, you're covered in spiders. He's deep posing again. Why are you doing that?

Are the crows or all the spiders? Those devil's spiders. Oh, crummy, crumby there. Definitely spiders, not cruel. Really ancient deep crows. Gringo, what are you talking about? Hootzie, who made it worse by pushing him forward. But she's a little child, she understands.

Oh, my God. Hootzie, how are your... I can't turn around. How are your crow wood? Can I pick Grico up? I mean, yeah, I would imagine you guys. I am not going to do this because my friends are here. I, Grico is T-posing.

Perfectly teaposing. Yeah, I would try to just walk forward and see if I can pick you up from under the arms and just like just gently loose. Oh, Brad, oh, don't get the crows! Oh, you just screams, but. The clothes are coming. Oh, get closed, truly ancient deep clothes.

Gercoc, sound down. And I'm going to stick my head back in the spider game to see if I see any deep crows. Can you roll a dexterity save? saving throw. Yeah. You know, at disadvantage because you're holding a screaming, deep posing scarecrow.

Yeah, I got a, I got a 12. I pull my head back out and just come in. You're covered spiders, however, however. It's a big bird on spiders. And I get, it's just a chiro. It is nothing but eyes and spiders, and I just look at the guys and I'm like, it's just spiders. You're gonna take seven points of piercing damage

as the spiders are able to bite into you. And then you're gonna take two points of poison damage as, and then they, they explain. Toolback, you'll kill us all! I'll push them off. I'll essentially create a little telekinetic shows and all the spiders will just

all these dead spiders just completely. I'm like swollen, my face is like so old. Your face looks just awful. It's just a nightmare. It's only spiders. It looks so much worse than normal. You didn't see the deep crows? Roll a, roll a,

perception check. Sure. Grimy, there are so many crow stalls which are large swarms of tiny fiends. We can only be accessing the Crooked Moon and by pre-ordering at the crooked moon.com. And there's so many of them in there. He's just speaking gibberish. Don't listen to him.

It's so many crows. Tomon, you kid us all. I need to stand like this so don't get in the rest of us. You may want to hold your breath. Just race through. I think that he's under the influence of which light. But what you're saying is that all the spiders are not gone. Oh, kill. No, no, no, no. There's no, there's no spiders in the

Cremie. There's a huge number of spiders. No spiders, Cremi, only truly ancient deep crows. What do we do? We are now to Cookiemoot.com. Gramee, I'm really confused, man. It's either truly ancient deep crows or spiders. Torbeck checked the second time, didn't kill

any more spiders, but he came back with a whole bunch of spiders on his face. So I can't really tell you what's in the cave. Either way, just move quickly through the cave, and then he'll be on the other side. Oh, but there's fucking spiders in there. I don't want to go with that. You know what's bad as do, right? They're fucking tricks.

You know what I mean? I feel like I'm about to get tricked in some sort of fashion. It's not a trick. All they'll do is bite you and you'll swell up and take some poison damage and you'll end up looking like Torbeck. What do you think?

I think maybe you should go first, all right? I mean. Who are you talking to? What I'm trying to say is I'm not going in there. I think you fucking go first, all right? You fucking clear about, all right? And you will, and no one will see me, but my shadows,

will turn and start to be like nodding and like opening its mouth and closing. Look, it's not, look, it's not embarrassing to fucking crawl. I mean, you can just do your thing. You slither on the ground all fucking day. And it'll sort of snap its head back and forth. All right. You go first. Get halfway through and just tell me how it looks.

And my shadow will start to extend and arise from the ground and a perfect replica of Cremie, pure shadow will walk in. And it'll walk to the cave, but instead of crawling, it will basically lean back and limbo through the cave and it'll get as low as it needs to, even if it's bending at the like, angles to meet. You immediately see that every single one of these spiders

runs from the shadow. The moment any of these spiders see the shadow in any way, they begin to skitter back up into the rock, almost as if they're horrified. As I'm looking now, man, and it'll sort of be walking through with its cane, right? But basically like, it won't crawl, it wants to walk through.

And once this is about halfway through the cave, how's it look? Are they gone? Oh, no. Oh, if I move, if I move, then all of us will be killed by truly ancient D. Gross. Just run, Grimmie. Just run quickly.

All right, well, just clear them out if you can. And then from the cane of the shadow, where the skull, the crystal skull of my cane would be, there is a sort of a spectral like purple glow and eyes in the mouth, and this mouth will open horrifyingly. And you'll hear all these different voices. And they're a horrible scream

will shriek from my shadow spawn as it uses, it's once a day, dreadful scream. Each creature within 30 feet must succeed on a rhythm saving throw. We'll be frightened of the spirit for one minute. And I basically want to, if there's any spiders left,

I want to make them so scared of this thing that the tunnel is nice and clear. I'm not even going to make you roll for it. The shadow alone was enough to terrify these spiders. You're not quite sure why, but this is not spider behavior, what you've been able to sense from your shadow in this situation.

But any spiders that had been remaining, if any of them were alive, they have already descended deep into the crevices within the mountain. And you are able to not even, you make your way forward completely nonplussed as you're able to walk uninhibited through this. All right, I trust you.

Well done. And I'll sort of crawl through. And then I'll follow my shadow behind. You'll see the shadow walk in front of me. And from the other end, my shadow will appear and then just stand upright and just stand there like silently and still deep-posts too. Because I stopped controlling.

I stopped hitting shift right, like, as I'm crawling through. Wow, this feels like launch day of cyberpunk 2070s. What is happening? I make it through. And you make it and you are level six? Oh, that was awesome, man. And he'll slither back down as my shadow. You couldn't have just gone first?

No. I don't like spiders, man. Neither does Stormbank. Well, I really don't like them. I don't want to fucking get bit or just feel weird creeper legs on my skin. You're a fool. Really ancient deep crudes for coming back to Ding Dong Cave?

I think that Grigo may have been taken by the witchelight. He's acting very strangely. And he just said ding dong. Everybody. Everybody move. Not at all. Everyone stand perfectly still in race.

your arms out like this and that is the only way to protect yourself from the crows to torment things we're gonna have to carry him perhaps it will fade soon we can give them a few minutes and just stand here while we plow our next move he refuses to move at all god tip do you know where we go from here well I mean that really depends on what you plan to do I'm going to mother horn well where is that way over there is that is that castle She points to that structure that you saw where you once again notice the lightning arcs against all of the lightning rods channeling all the way down until it hits the large lightning rod at the top of Motherhorn. You see the entire structure illuminate almost as if all the lights have turned on within it for a second before it once again goes dark.

And again, you see the clouds roiling up above. and as lightning emanates from it, you watch as these lightning rods collect it and funnel it back towards Motherhorn over and over and over again. Yes, that's where I'm going. And because I am lethal and because I am dexterous and I can jump, I'm going to take that path. And she points up and you see that all along

this almost sheer cliff face, there are these small jutting rocks that she jumps up onto a couple of them. I'm going to just jump all the way up there, but I don't think you will be able to come with me. It is like the straight-dish shot. And you notice that further up there are those really creepy goats that like to sit on very sheer cliff faces. You see a handful of them dotting along the mountain face.

And you can see very quickly that though some of you might be able to make this climb, not all of you would be able to. Brick is so nimble though. Oh, that. Well, you could come with me too, But then you'd have to leave your friends because I really appreciate everything we have done together,

but I wanted to be a star. And quite frankly, you're all a bit lost. What? You're really complicated for adults. Yeah, well, at least we're not gonna get devout by one to tuliate the deep clothes. It's fair. He's got you there.

Good luck, Kim. I'll know that way. It's rough, but I feel like I am more likely to survive if I don't stay with you. What? That's why. What? Can you believe you cooked their creamy burial?

Oh, did I made you creamy brutal and this is how you repay me? Yeah. I've repaid you by getting you into Yon. Oh, that's pretty good. Oh, no, that's bad. That's the thing. That's the thing. Here's the thing.

When I get to Motherhorn, I will become a starlet and become very much. and become very popular, and then when you get to Motherhorn, you will know someone there and I'll be able to help you again. Oh, what's your talent? I don't have one yet, but I think that I could learn how to be a fantastic actress. So you don't have a plan, you're just gonna go be famous? No, I do have a plan. I'm going to go be famous.

I think she probably specializes in improv. Ew, that's gross. Who would even do that, hacks? Oh, yeah. But remember, if you're gonna be on a stage show, you know, there's acting, there's dancing, and it's singing, you gotta be good at least two of those things, gonna stand?

Why? Well, because otherwise you'll be outclassed by the rest of the talent. Why haven't been on stage in the first place? Well, not if the rest of the talent is worse at all of those things than I. I don't have to be good at them. I just have to be better than everybody else.

Guys. Duh. That's a fan poem. Do you think? Okay, goodbye. Bye. Bye. She begins to scale the mountain.

Good luck, Cartier. What a strange time. Live your dream, Cartia. Beware the truly ancient deep crows. Beware. The king's weird. Beware the crow storms from the crooked moon. Priorylora now with the crooked moon.com,

Cartia. What are you saying? Who just like sets out and says that their whole goal is to be famous? That totally feels like it's a wrong reason to do anything. I feel that just by merit of that statement, she will almost certainly fail. Those ghosts are eating her. I mean, we all agree.

The goats? At least falling to a death. Those goats up there, yeah, there's no way. Are you saying ghosts or ghosts? Ghosts. There's goats, hang. There's cliff goats right there. Didn't we have some sort of prophetic,

oh no, James and Deep Ghost? Didn't we have some sort of prophetic vision where a theater was going to all be horrifically, ritually sacrificed? Yes, yes, I recall very specifically. everyone in the audience was electrocuted to get to death. Is that one of the ones

would alter it for us? And it was also a vision of the future to come. That's almost certainly impossible to avoid. I'm sure this. She won't get mixed up in that, right? I mean, we... There's no way it's the same theater.

We've seen a whole bunch of crazy shit. You're seeing truly ancient deep crow. Yeah, now then they're going to devour us off and if I move on this bar, they're going to devour us don't get in. Then we should try to stop. Hey, she's already gone. Oh, she's got...

I can probably reach her with my mind powers, but I won't. She's very quick. Well, given that the name of that mountain is a reference to the Matterhorn, we all know how the first to set on the Matterhorn went. I feel like her fate ain't that too dissimilar. How did the second one go? Probably better than the first. So that'll make us the second, and we guarantee our chance of survival.

Ooh, what if it's more like not the real life one, but a reference to the Schmiddleyland one? sneeze really loudly. You exhale the last remnants of the witchlight from your body and you no longer fear these deep crows. High five, Griko. You feel an invisible hand. I think that I've destroyed all the deep crows. Good job.

So what do you think, Van Lowe? What do you think, Van Lowe's? Well, I guess we just start walking up there. What? What? What? What? I mean, thank you for calling on Torbeck.

Torbeck is very aware of the Matterhorn, but for someone like Frost, who has no idea, could you perhaps explain it to all of us? Well, in the gigantic reality of Earth. What's Earth? People died terribly. Like, ground? Trying to climb the mountain.

Oh, that's it? Oh, yeah. I mean, basically, they were all tied together, and then one guy slipped and brought like four more with them. Oh, my God. What? Yeah, no, it was terrible. Saddeny.

Why would they tie? Two people mysteriously survive the incident. That's not funny at all. Dolex reactions. Very bad. I can't believe Frost didn't know that. Yeah. I mean.

Why would they tie themselves to each other in this manner? It seems like an easy way for... That sounds safe at all. Blow all of the budget we didn't have to build a replica of that thing in our park carnival. Well, it's kind of, you know, the... Dance Macab, the whole, uh, cachet of carnivala crew, you know, the curiosity of the mold. Were you gonna simulate a doomed climbing expedition?

Yeah, it's alright. Is that why you called it Macabhorn? Oh, damn, I forgot I named that. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I'm ready on. Hold on. I feel like the, I forgot to do back in the end.

What's that? Yeah, probably nothing. We need that. So where are we wrong now? We're in yawn. We're in yawn. It's contagious. You're so stupid.

Oh, you've been sitting on that one, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm driven viewers, you know, I've been doing that for fucking 30 episodes. I jam my finger deep into Grico's brain. Through the eyeball. Just getting it. All right.

But now that you are here, you are standing. you are standing right next to a sheer cliff face that travels all along what is very clearly a long stone bridge that is spread out over a large cavern. Wind rushes beneath the stone bridge. And I'll say for the sake of brevity, you are moving along this bridge as you have this conversation.

And this vantage point gives you the best ability to see the place that is laid out in front of you, front of you, the domain of yawn here. And it is nothing but towering peaks, this dark gray stone. It is unlike, unlike hither and thither, it is significantly more devoid of vegetation. You see the lightning rods everywhere, but you also see glimpses of different lights that appear out of nowhere, almost as if there are beacons of sorts off in the distance, but it's so hard to get a good look as to what they are. You occasionally see glimpses of structures hidden in the, hidden up high on these peaks shrouded in clouds. It is cold here, significantly colder

than it was in either of the other domains that you had been to. And again, the air is thick with moisture and you can feel the electricity on your skin that's being channeled straight to Motherhorn. It's hard to see how this place is populated at all, but you imagine that nestled between the valleys of these different mountain peaks that there could be communities of different types of residents within Yon. But from here, what you're looking at is heading towards what looks to be an open outcropping between three different mountain peaks. And once you get there, you imagine you'll have a better vantage point as to where to go next. And that is what you are seeing as you make your way across this bridge,

occasionally being blasted by huge gusts of wind as it's channeled through these mountain peaks. But you're able to keep your ground, though the stone itself is a bit slippery. It's not so precarious that you're unable to make the track. And you eventually get to the other side as you are met with a strange sound. It sounds like the whipping of wind, not too dissimilar from the sound that you heard as you were crossing the bridge, but altogether not quite the same. And it sounds like it's coming from one of the three openings between the mountain peaks that you see in front of you. and the openings are winding and twisting.

It's impossible to see what would meet you on the end of one of this crossroad. And with the way that the sound echoes, it's impossible to hear where that sound is coming from, but it is getting increasingly louder and louder and louder. Isn't this your thing, Frost? Yes, but before we proceed, I have something to tell you now that we're no longer

next to that child who could possibly have been discussed. or some sort of other villain. What? What? What? You know that kid was a hag? No one trust my kids. You thought it was a disguise hag or something? I was concerned that someone with that much knowledge would be undressworthy, yes.

Well, I guess, to be fair, wasn't that old lady? Oh, that was true. Yeah. Well, and it's a good point that, you know, for a penniless orphan who, you know, had only known being locked in a cage to be food for an owner, you would think that she wouldn't know shit about any of this.

So I chose to wait, and now that we're alone, I have to tell you that while we were stuck in that cage, and when we were finally freed, I noticed very last moments vine of blue roses. It was what I think helped break us out

or at least protect us in some way, as we finally were able to free ourselves, and I believe that it came from twig. From whom's feet? From twig. No way that could be wrong. Twit is an enam of a puppet.

Yeah, she's like she got turning to that wood doll, man. It couldn't have been Twit. Well, it was either perhaps the danger of the scene allowed her to awaken briefly and exert her power and then return to her form

or something was acting through her. Well, Frazer walked around here and inspect my back to see if anything look weird. I looked at... You got to walk around, man. She met the whole time. What's the matter,

you can't look at your own back? What do I see? Roll an investigation check at advantage. Here you go. With my help, roll a triple advantage. Sorry, I did that hit me, but... All right. It should be an 18.

With an 18, you find the puppet that is Twig, and you remember that everything about this puppet had been just twig in puppet form. But the main difference is that where her spectacles had been, where her eyes had been, they had been replaced with wooden roses that had been painted blue. What you see now is that the frames around those roses

are now thorny vines, and that you see that thorny vines are beginning to spread further along her body. It seems like there's no longer any progression of them, But whatever magic had been used has had its effect on how this puppet looks now and though the vines are made of wood just like the flowers are She is markedly different Gideon trigid twig is transforming She's no longer has the blue roses her eyes. There are vines she does. She does. They're just vines now. There are now there are no more vines growing across its

Her wooden puppet bind You think she's doing weird stuff? I mean she is doing weird stuff. I don't know Oh. Wait, you're saying that was Twig? That broke us out? Either Twig or something acting through twig, yes. Wait, we've seen roses in other places, haven't we? Was it once?

And we did the thing with the sword, and then we turned all the roses blue or whatever. In the hourglass, right? Yeah, when you got the source. In that strange hourglass realm. And I had to golumpf all over the place. He was galumphant. And then Torbeck was galumphant, but he was doing that bush. And then Torbeck was a galumphant.

thing. Yeah, Torbeck's galump the timer too. And we're not all the mimsy where the Boragoes or something. Wow. And the Moam rafts did outgrade. Huh?

Curiouser and curious. It's alarminging that Torbeck only understands, like, 25% of what you say sometimes. Hey, didn't we see somebody with crazy teeth? That sound is significantly louder than it had been before.

Yeah, yeah. But, but crazy teeth. Sound, go away, sound. It doesn't matter. We're talking. We're talking about.

Wind, get out of here. Yeah, I mean, golly, shut up. Turn the volume down. My math. Hey,

having the conversation here. Yeah, golly. Walk straight to yon and the nature's interrupting you. I'm going to try that the next time there's like a gust of wind. Like, no, no, not now.

Not now. Not now. Not now. somewhere is do I hear an angry person typing on a keyboard get on with the plot written by

Hasbro's Wait, hold on That howling win Sounds like the howling win In the Howlers A mountain chain on the west side of Wickedmore Hollow The valley, the main location

The adventure that takes place in the Crooklymouth Where you can pre-order at the crooked moon.com You didn't pre-order the book And as you say that Out of the middle, out of the middle channel between these mountains, you see what is very clearly a tornado rip through this place, headed straight towards you. But it is not just the same gray that you would expect this to be.

It is interlaced with what is clearly which light spores. As it plummets towards you, all of you need to roll a dexterity saving through a disadvantage. What did I just say? Oh! Buh, b'bba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bau, oh, no. 21. Okay. I do okay.

I rolled a 19 and a 15 in my low. You rolled a disadvantage, right? I did, yes. I'm asking, Derek. Oh, a disadvantage? My low was at 25. In my disadvantage? Yes, all of you are.

And it's a what? A dexterity saving throw. Oh, like an eight. Nine. Okay. Okay. Twelve. Is someone playing Pink Floyd's,

dark side of the moon. That's very funny. So you passed, you got an eight. I got a 10. Oh, nine. Oh, nine, you got an eight. I got a 12. Oh my god, guys.

All of you are whipped up into this tornado. Including you, Torback. Yeah. You slink out of the way. You were able to immediately cover your mouth. You see what this is right away. You are familiar with the witchlight. You cover your mouth and you

breathe as little as possible as you're all whipped up into this tornado as it begins to having you inside of it changes its axis as it begins to swirl and move. And instead of going back down the middle channel that it had come from, it veers off to the left and begins to hurl away. All of you stuck inside of it. You feel sick to your stomachs as you're being whipped

this way and that and you're stuck inside a tornado. Damn it, Grie-Drews, you pissed out of the bar, bro. I said tornado wrecks after you all. Oh, I'm nuts. Looney Tunes. I'm close and that's different to nobody. Some of a legally distinct tornado. Do you feel like we have any agency over the situation?

No, you are stuck in this tornado and you are screaming and you are... Maybe there's something in my back that can help us. You feel sick... You feel sick to his stomach. Oh, no, there's gold. Oh, well, there goes. As the tornado moves you along, yawn at a very quick pace before eventually you are scaling sides of mountains, mountains sides as you are riding this tornado.

And eventually it begins to slow. And you are all dumped out in what is very clearly a grassy glade between two huge peaks. You've made it a significant distance into yawn. Motherhorn is closer than it had been before. You see some of the lightning rods far closer to you than you had expected to see them. You can feel the electricity more strongly here. As all of you are dumped in this space by this tornado,

I need all of you, except for Torback, to pick a tarot card for me, please. Oh, shit. Good luck, boys. Yeah. Whistle in Super Mario Brothers Free. I love a good warp whistle. Are we in World Eight?

It feels caught like World Eight. Are we doing it that way? That way. Okay, so I'm gonna, I'll just remember. It doesn't really matter how you do it. It's up to you how you want to do it. If you want to flip it the other way, that's you. Spin it around.

Until you reveal it, it doesn't matter. You just have to decide what up is. It's very bitsy-esque. Which way is I'm cutting before I pull. Okay. I love that. You can shuffle if you want. You can do anything. That's already done.

Oh, you just went straight in. Oh. All right, we'll start with you, Frost. Yes. My wifu. A very frost-looking King of Cups. Oh, okay, okay, okay. King of Cups Upright.

That is. King of Cups upright. Okay, who is the first person you see? Actually, I'll roll for it. I'll roll a D4, 1, 4. Is who does he count? No. Grico.

Grico appears before you as a biblically accurate angel. Every time you close your eyes, he appears to get closer to you. Don't blink. That is. Let's look at the card on the camera. Yes, please. The King of Cups. Hold on.

I should have fixed this. I thought you did. A philosopher wizard. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Avantress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh.

You can also go to The Crooked Moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Grico, as you land, you come to the realization that you are a bridge troll, and anyone that tries to move past you must pay a toll. No, then. Crummy.

I got the hermit in reverse. This card features Farim pre-fall with a little cameo from Flora. Yeah, everyone who plays at Edge of Midnight. This is the only appearance of Flora. It won't be this dark. Yeah, we brighted this a little bit, but look at this beautiful art. Look at this.

There you go. Periodicgroomoon.com. I'm actually gonna have you pull a different card because I don't think that this one's gonna work right now. Here, cut it. Should I upright it? Do we wanna see what the upright option? You could upright it if you would prefer.

No, let's draw a new one. Draw a new one. Show them off. Are we almost making all of the pre-foil? What? I got the Wheel of Fortune upright. Oh wow. That's wild.

You become the epitome of the deadly son of greed. I feel nothing's changed. Nothing's changed. Another through line with his alligator folk. I got the high priestess. There's another pre-fallen edge of midnight character. Lethika with her moonlight chakrum.

Upright or in reverse. Or is this two? I mean, is this high priest's two? No. This is the number two in the major archaicomac. Got it. It was like, just upright, yeah. You cannot stop coughing up blood.

Oh, dear Lord. Very lethaca. Oh yeah. Extremely lethic guy. I am made of cobblins. You must know. You all land on the soft earthy ground. You can smell, you can smell the lone.

You can smell the loamy earth beneath your feet. And as you look around you, you see that there are trees growing here. This is the most verdant of anything that you've seen here in Yon. And it looks like a small forest spreads out in front of you. But what catches your eye is that just right on the inside of the tree line is what is clearly a recently set up camp. There is a small yellow tent. You can see where a fire was being constructed.

there is a small cooking pot that's sitting over it ready for the fire to be lit and food to be cooked. You see a satchel leaning up against one of the trees, but you don't hear anyone around it. You just see this little camp. Oh, that's rough. Is everyone all right? Yeah, Torbeck's in one piece.

Doremec, Gideon. We're in the tornado and got thrown straight out of him, right? I feel... I'll be okay all things can sit in. Oh, man. Are you okay?

Banged up, heart than my thought. Indian, you're suffering from horrific internal bleeding. Oh, this... Oh, my God, Gidd, are you okay? Oh, man. I don't know. Maybe I landed on it.

Is that blood? Oh, that's blood, yeah. Oh, my God. You need some of Grigo's healing powers. He's really... I flee. I run into the... Whatever direction Griko is in,

I go in the opposite direction. You do not. I'm gonna tell. Is that what I've made his brain got scrambled or something, man? I mean, what the heck is going on? The moment you turn around to run away from him, you immediately see in your mind him coming towards you and you know that if you face him, he will stop moving.

And so you could flee, but you feel like you might need to turn it, look at him. Oh, so this is Enderman rule. Yeah, Enderman. Okay. I will start to, I'll just continue screaming. as loud as I can, and I'm gonna keep my eyes on him, but I'm gonna walk away.

Be not afraid! Be not afraid! That choir that plays at the beginning of the fifth element starts pounding in my ears. I'm just on a trip. I don't have anything else I could possibly do. I'm fucking... Have you seen this shit?

It's a nightmare. No, you better fucking move. Unless you paid a drool token. TOTO. What? Oh, oh no. You have a good one. Does he just look like your photos? He just...

I just have an underbite now. I just have a thing with his jaw. Yeah. You got the jump forward. I don't know. I don't know if you notice your... How do you feel? Fine?

I feel pretty normal, frankly. Torbay was gonna go out of God to get frost, but now I got to get around and I try to like, get around you, Gros. No! You move every time. You move. You move every time. down.

Would you like a, like, see you bake things? I like trying to get around here. D. D. Okay. All right. All right. Come down.

I'm not a bet on the troll. Can Dormack interest you in some licorice? That is not the troll, trove. What? It's delicious. Yeah, you're on the troll, though. But the Torbe's gotta go get fried. You're gonna pay the troll, too.

You're out of your goddamn mind. You think I'm gonna give you a fucking penny. A fucking cop. No. I'm not paying the troll. You don't get past the troll. It's just making a troll and a bridge troll. In fact, if you keep this up, your cuts gone.

I'm taking it. No, that's the drone. You're making this up. Here's the troll. What's the toll? Help Torback. The drone dog, you might get me that drool. What is the toll?

What is the toll? What is the toll? You have to tell Torbett about the toll list. You're going to give me. I'm not getting it. You better give him to get him to do it. Now you're talking about it. Don't give him shit.

Don't give him shit. You got to get married. No, no, he doesn't deserve shit. I whine up and I punch in the face. Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry. Frost, you watch as Torbeck winds up and goes to punch

this biblically accurate angel in the face. You watch as the eyes multiply. And wings begin to spin around this as it looks like it's almost about to consume Torbeck's forearm in a maw of eyes and teeth. I continue to scream and fear, and it's like watching a kaleidoscope, consume Torbeck as I'm unable to do anything to assist him. There are wings that- How does Frost react to this?

Try to like harm, Grico? No, no, no. Just throw him off his game and like, no. That's just what Frost sees. Just crack him in the face. You just wind up and pop him in the face. And then if I came, I try to juke him and get around and to get around. Once, you have a trodoll.

You're being a drool. Give me a bucket of a bull. And I would say roll at advantage because he is so, like, he is so consumed with these troll tolls that he's not looking at you. It's 24 to hit by my arm strike will only do three points in damage. Okay, that's, that's great. Three points. Obludging.

Hey, oh, in my deep, my julia deep crow wounds. And as soon as I connect, I like, and like, and like, you go around him. And then I start getting, like, Frost, Frost, don't worry. Hey, Joe, how are you? You have you. How are you doing? doing that doorback. I'm like watching him dance through like rings concentrically interweaving with like eyes run on

and calm down, calm down. And I just try to run to defrosting. I try to get, I try to get, I'm, I'm going. This is falling. You, now the Torbeck's moving towards you, Frost, the biblically accurate angel is chasing after Torbeck. And no matter how fast you run backwards, it's getting closer and closer and closer. Torback. Torback. Now, Froth. Either way. Bras! Come to Torbett! Come to Torbett! How are you not seeing this?

And I'm like trying to swatting Grigo. Ah! Oh, no! You're swatting Griggo! Stop it! Stop it! The wings that are flying in, somehow they're like being batted away by you. I'm just like, it's impossible. I don't understand how you could possibly, geometrically do what you're doing. Geed, what's... what's wrong with you? How do you feel? I'm not as bad as these guys. I'm feeling pretty bad, though. Oh! Oh my God!

Oh, man, I think that's at least three pints. I'm starting to get like that. Oh, no, it's not the okay, kid. I'm worried about this. I think I got to put it. You finally, you finally came down with consumption, no. No, I knew the little day would cook. It's going to be okay, Gila.

I've been talking a lot of times. Retired and Tahiti, you understand? We're going to get to the Tahiti. The weather's going to be beautiful, okay? It's going to be. Gramey, I love me, say it's a little. It's going to be a good. Carrie, I love to feel this.

You are saying this as the light here glints near the bag at the camp, and you realize there's an entire satchel of gold. They have mangoes, geet. Oh, man. You're gonna be a geeky. Wait, hold, don't just stay right there. Don't mind if I do that. I look around.

Anyone? Anyone? I sort of walk up and I'm like, I grabbed it. The satchel of gold if it's there. Can I have my D20? Oh, this one. Yeah, it's the, yeah, the WitchLight one.

Yeah, you grab the satchel of gold, and you and Gricka are. I do you shit! You're not, bro. You're free me tall. We're the fucking cool. You're not going to put it right down here. I'm not going to put it right down here.

Give me some rupe here. I'll take a rupeer. Give it up. You're the dad's rupee? Yeah, there you. That's been, I don't. I can't get him. Brugge's attention has been drawn away.

Yeah, you notice that all of a sudden that the abyssably accurate angel completely shifts and glides horrifically towards Kremi. And you are just watching as it glides through the air. Frost, are you all right? Are you okay, Prong? I'm scared beyond the capacity for Vauxhall Tormac.

Dormac is here. Grigo has six wings, and there are six of him. No, no, no. He's just grico. He's just hacting weird. He's talking about trotol or something. It's gonna be okay. With two, they covered their faces, and with two, they covered their feet,

and with two, they flew. What? Oh, no, no. It's good. It's good. Oh, my. I'm going through my pack. Why, give me that thing, Dink-DOT!

Um, you know, you know, You know, Frost has given me at least two or three of these over the course of this adventure, and here's the thing. I'm the embodiment of the modal sin of greed. Not even I want these. And I take out a dad's root beer. And I give it to Greg, because I've never eaten them as many times as Frost is giving me a dad's root beer.

Oh, that's a pretty good joke. Oh, hold on. I'll just like, one for you. Oh. That's a pretty good joke. You're a fucking sucker, right? Oh, you've made it pulled out! No, I turned back to him.

You watch immediately, the angel turns from coming and begins to just barrel towards you as quickly as possible. Run, Torbeck. Two was its root beers. Two was its root beers. No, no, no, no, no, no, take your stop, bring out, get you. Give me that. Trottson! No, they got to pay the to-do, you pay the to-do right now.

Pryor-a-do! Torak doesn't want to give you a little. anything. All right, yeah, let's get you up. Oh, no, don't put the phone. Here we go. It's gotta be fine. Oh, what's and the beach is?

We just gotta find Tahiti, y'all. Oh, man. Oh, man. That's what I heard. A gust of wind blasts all of you as out of the tree line. What is very clearly a walking dandelion jumps out of the tree line towards you as it brandishes its rapier.

A blast of wind hits all of you. The accumulated witchlight spores that had been on your person are blasted away from you and skittered on the breeze as this creature looks out towards you. You knave, what are you doing here and why are you disturbing my piece?

All the curses have been blown away from you. Did I cough out five points of blood? Yeah. You're lightheaded. You're very lightheaded. Who are you and what are you doing in my glade? Is there all else in this? Crazy flower guy. We dropped off here.

We just kind of fell out of the sky. What happened? You gotta pay a toll. Pay a toll. You gotta pay up. If you're having a gold, give it to that guy. Let me go get my, my, my coin sack. Well, I asked, did I put my coin sack?

Oh, this guy does have gold. Oh, no. And you see as- You see as he goes, he goes over to the spot where you had just picked up the pouch of gold and he's looking everywhere. He can't seem to find his coin sack. Where did I put it? Oh, it must have been one of the Pixies.

I believe I've been robbed by Pixies. I do not have a coin to pay a toll, but I could provide you. I could regale you with a tail of daring to goods, or I could sing you a song. I have some trinkets on my purse. I do have trinkets. And he reaches into his pack and you see

he's throwing out trinkets here and there. I can offer you something other than coin. So just so Torbek understands, you're saying that you left an entire sack of gold just sitting on the ground here? Well, I was setting up camp, and I had to go, I needed dry wood. All the wood here is wet, and I needed a dry wood to light fire so that I could have, I could cook for myself. And I'm quite scatterbrained today because I did not like the way the chapter of my book ended. And it's really, I'm perturbed because really he should have gotten the girl quite. frankly and it's just... Why'd he knock at the girl? Well, but you know how it is. There's this

miscommunication and instead of just talking to each other and realizing that they're both horribly in love with each other, they stick to the miscommunication and then four chapters later they'll finally realize that someone had lied to them and that they do truly love each other but now I have to... and I spilled my drink and the pages are drying and he points and you see that there is a book hanging in the trees where the pages are drying and and on top of that I have to find that that elf that ran away the other day. How I'm going to reunite her with her sister.

And quite frankly, I've got a lot to do, and I don't have time to explain it to you, especially when you're encroaching on my camp. All right, Dormacus, sorry. Wait, why am I paying you a toll? You're here as my camp. That's such a strange coincidence, don't you think of it?

There was a toll on account of, there was some crows earlier. Crows, indeed. You should really into deep crows, And there was the troll toll. And so the troll toll is still in effect. There's a troll? Will everyone get your weapons?

We have to fill the Vow Beast. The troll toll, yep. All goods that pass fruit is bridge. You must pass the troll toll. There's no bridge in the vicinity? The bridge of lots. It's a metaphorical bridge. Exactly right.

All the say is pay up. This callsway through the trees. Well, if I see a troll, I will consider paying the to- The Troll. Well, no, we're actually. collecting the total advance. We're basically, you could say, custom, so to speak.

And if you happen to come through here, we'd collect the gold, and then we pay it to the troll. Or the federal government. Well, as I've said, I've been robbed. You're so at small businesses. I have...

Well, I can't speak to small businesses. I do know they have it quite rough in yon, as of late. Well, are you saying... Are you saying you can't pay up? Well, I can provide you with a tale. I could sing the song. I can't part with any of my books.

Could you tell us all about exactly where we are and maybe anything, a tale about a unicorn that might live in this hair, bro? A unicorn. I'm not sure I could tell you all about yon, but what I do know, the layout of all of Prismere. There is no better guide in Prismere than myself. And so should you want to go somewhere

or need to go somewhere, or not be able to get to a place. Well, Amdipur at your service, and especially with the help of my darling sweet love, Polinella, and he points towards this beautiful round bumblebee that's buzzing through the boughs of these trees, we could get you to wherever you need to go. What was your name?

Amdipore. Amdipore? Yes, amdipore. Amdipore. The dandy lion. That's pretty funny. And that bee is your love? Well, yes.

Hello, B. It's Polinella. I call her Polly for short. Pollyella, are you just a B? Extremely plump. What do you mean just a B? It's Pollynella. Do you speak?

I'm just saying, extremely blunt B. Do you speak of the Troll King's common? It is one of the reasons I fell for her. Well, I'm going around on this guy. Are you married? Oh, how we wish we could be. No, I rescued Polinella from capture recently.

It was my heart yearned for her. She had been captured by a beekeeping cyclops. Oh, that's terrible. Yes. Cyclops can keeping bees. Yes, she was his queen bee. I see. And he coveted her, as you can see why.

But her heart belonged to Andapoor, and my heart belonged to her. You rescued her from the cyclops? I did. And what happened to the other bees? Well, they are still in the same. still incaptured by the cyclone? You just rescued the one that you loved and not the others? Are the others just plumbed?

No, she was the plumbers woman. No, I bet. No, he is quite right. She was the plumbers in the morning. Oh, yeah. She's pretty plumpy. No, yeah. She can't, she can't fly straight line.

You don't need to raise your hand to convert. Doermakes just used to the fact if he doesn't raise his hand that Mr. Grummi will never make eye contact with him. In fact, even when he does raise this hand, Mr. Grummi, still try, that doesn't matter. What does any of that have to do with the two of you

not being able to be married? Well, we've only been reunited shortly, but in that time, I've also made a promise to this elf that I need to return her to Motherhorn. And as a knight, as a gentleman, I always keep my promises. Holy shit. It would be dishonorable if I do not.

So unfortunately, we were parted while we were attempting to make camp, and I am not sure where she's gone to. You see, she is a shadowless. A shadowless. Is it a shadowless? Yes. Did you say this bee's heart belonged to another?

Well, to me. Oh, okay. All right. She was stolen from me by this cyclops. Yes, Pollenilla was stolen by the beekeeping cyclops. And Andaport rescued her, but none of the others. And now they're going to get married. And there's an unrequited love.

I was about to ask whether or not the ring was going to be on one of its little legs or if they were just going to be like a large metal belt that you wrapped around the bee's body. The ring doesn't have to be physical. It'll be a metaphorical. I mean, if you're going to be the other bees that she's married. You should put a ring on that. Well, if you like it, you should put a ring on it.

That's what I'm saying. That's what the bodd's saying. Just, I mean, first of all, we would gladly help you on your quest. We will add it to a whole collection of the sideclass. Have them all right here. Like a steel trap. I promise. I know every year.

But we have a great background. Just so I'm getting this right. I have you know. You cucked a beekeeping cyclops and stole the could be whom you wish to be betrothed. And you guys like, fuck. I'm not sure what that word means. Pollinate, let's say. Well, I am a dandy lion, as it were.

I'm saying. I'm not. Instead of out of poor, more like out of chat. And there is no one that makes me feel quite as much joy as Polly. Oh, wait, but she pollinates you. Polly. Yeah, yeah, you know. Oh, hey.

Oh, hey. It is the equivalent in 2025. Different crows. I mean, she is following. No, I've never yuck the other day of my life. You know what I mean? I've never, never once. Every day you learn something else. Well, you're sick fuck.

Take us up to that cast. I would be. I can't wait to trap with this guy, man. To help you on your quest if you're on your way to Mother Horn, you're welcome to join me in Polinella and Gleam. But we have to find Gleam first. Gleam is the name of this shadowless elf. Yes, she's escaped, you see.

I'm not sure. Do you know much about bitter end? Bitter ends? I don't know the meaning of the word. I... For the sake of a fix one evening. Come to camp. You're all scrawny, you all need a good meal. You have a cave.

Let Amdapol cook good dinner for you. We can get to know each other. We can trade stories and become lifelong friends and we'll have a nice meal. We can talk about yawn. You must be new. Very. You're not quite as disheveled as I would expect.

But I don't think, I mean, we don't have to pay the rich troll toll. But I mean, that Dan's Rupio is pretty good. If you happen to find a sack of my gold coins. We'll keep an eye out. Yes, no, absolutely. It's tough. Those things don't tend to turn.

Well, add it. Can you add it, Frosty, can you add it to the listing of her? Yes, I'm going to a Ventra's wiki right now. All right. Yeah, let's go to camp. I feel like we just got here in Yonge. It's like a windy electro hellscape. I feel like we should take a bit of a rest.

It's been a long day. Yes, the storms will be rolling in soon, and when they do, we'll be drenched if we don't have tents set up. Okay. Yeah. Well, we wouldn't. We wouldn't. And I am, if nothing, is all I'm gonna say.

Underprepared. Are you? You always offered to cook. I mean, I like it, but you know, it'd be nice every once in a while. If somebody could cook for me. Are you prepared if we get hit by a tornado? What would be hit by a tornado? Well, we were just picked up by a tornado.

why we were dropped here in the middle of your camp. Oh, that can happen. And our minds were addled. I, for one, so... Well, it's very difficult to describe as, like, six flaming bands of feathers and also circles, covered in eyes, burning away into my retinas. I am not sure your name,

but as much as I would love to trombone with you, may we do it around the campfire? Oh, Knight Andipore, my name is Morning Frost. It's lovely to meet you. Sir Andapore, at your service. And you? Oh. Oh, Grico.

This is Grigo. My name is Grim Grim. Grin. This lovely little lady is hootsy, the cutesy. I don't, I feel like I'm a pretty open money guy. I'm getting you just to make sure you have polly pollinate you when she's like out of ear, son. And like, I'm just trying, you know, I'm just trying to, she's young. I don't know.

I don't get to tell you. Who's he? Not presumably not. No, I'm just trying to make sure that we have positive experience for a positive enrichment. And it's just, it's a lot. And I don't really put a conversation. I went to the rat casino and the rat didn't tell me nothing about talking about the peace.

All the birds. We haven't got to the birds yet. Where are you not good, sir? Amdapur would not do anything untoward. And you, sir. Dormack. Lovely to meet you and you, good sir. Why, I do the name's Screamy La Crew. Lovely to meet you and you.

Hey, I'm getting. One moment, you've a bit of blood on your face and he wipes the blood out on your face. Oh, thanks. You probably have something now. Gideon Cole, I shake your hand, but I'm extremely confident as to where it's been, so I won't do it. It's been right here at the hilt of my rapier.

Yeah. I'll bet. Well, let's... Oh, no. No. Don't make him wait to hear about how he polishes his sword. He's gonna come out of his tent looking at him. He's just powdered his face. He's gonna have to go in and powder his nose.

And for the sake of seeing it, this is what you're looking at. Yeah, I knew it was his face. I knew it was his face where the flyer was. Yeah. Is there polonella up there? Yeah, she's right next to him. It's a little pulpy.

Oh, wow, she's smaller than I thought. Oh, I thought she was like big. I thought she was like Minecraft B size. Yeah, I was picturing that bee just like. Yeah. Lay their head fast right on. Two bees. Oh yeah.

Can our campaign, can she be like, Miss Piggy style? Oh, I see. I don't know. I completely imagine. I thought it was just like literally a guy who happened to be a Danny Lion looked like Quibbley from Soros Rhapsody,

but a dandelion and then a thick ass, fat-assed bee. Yeah, no. We'll say she's like four times that size. Yes. Yeah. Great, we're out. Okay. That's fine.

That's funny. That's funny. So, if you're honest, you can choose whatever to picture you want. You can choose whatever to picture you want. But canonically. Just know. Canonically.

Just no. On the wiki. Just no. The second you said put his hand on the rave your head. On the you can say, you had, you sick, mom. Yeah. You know, my, my. I knew it.

I knew it. Well, let's make our way to the tree line, and we shall set up camp. I have extra tents, so anyone who's happy to help, I would love the assistance, or we set up a tent for each of you, so we all have a nice bit of privacy, and then I will get dinner started,

and we can all sit around the fire and get to know each other like good chums. Well, you can start the cooking now. We can set up the tents, including yours, You are too kind, Morning Frost. Well, here you are, is a tent for you and a tent for you and for you and you. Oh, Torbik is his own tent? Sweet!

Oh, wow. Yes, they're significantly bigger on the inside than they look. Oh. Magical tents? We're just starting. We got picked up by a tornado. We're a little operating. Sweet.

Well, this guy needs so much privacy of a lot of extra room for. Golly. Look, get you, when everyone does in their own tent is their own business, okay? Businessness, more like that. You take some time and you're able to set up the tents. Each of you walk into your tent when you're done, and you see that it has multiple rooms. You have your own little kitchen.

You have a bathroom where you can clean yourself and do your business. You have a living space. It is very much Dr. Hu-Tardis, Harry Potter, tents at the Tri-Wizard Tournament, not the Tri-Wizard Tournament, the Quidditch, yeah. And they, as you're building it, you realize that as you're setting up these tents, that you're thinking of things just almost against your will, like what your dream space would look like, and it's as if it pulled from your mind what these spaces would look like, and it's very, your tent is very quintessentially torback. And once you're done, it, it feels,

feels really nice and it's at this point that you are able to make your way. God damn it. You can't Torbay's wildest fantasies is still just a shit hole. Your tent is the only one that is it's actually smaller on the inside and then it's bigger. It is just a tent. It's actually a hinge. Dormick's tent is broken. Just an empty, rusty wet dumpster. Why can Frosty's toilet speak? Oh yes. Why is begging for his waist? You follow me everywhere, don't you? Yes, I do, frog.

That is forever one of the funniest moments. I'm a quiet. Why should we need? Where are you going with all that? More fiber. You, point. Don't color it. Ew, stop.

Make your deposit. Dissed. Deposit thine self. That doesn't happen. No, it does. Canonically it happens. Oh, it canonically happens. Okay, well.

I'm going to go and put that on Adventress Wiki right now. Can Ross kill Andy in a way? Yeah. Again, I endeavor to crush Andy's mind. Perfect. No, that doesn't happen. You are able to not have a sentient toilet in your tent. But you all finish putting your tents up and popping your tents.

And you make your way back to the campsite where Amdipur has a roaring fire going. And he is already setting out large bowls for you as he is clearly making what appears to be a hearty stew of some kind. Got all these magical houses and you're cooking in the fucking dirt. He's always cooking in a pot. But on the dirt. Well, I like the rusticness of a good camping session. There's something about looking out at the sky above you and breathing in the fresh air and making yourself a nice hearty meal out and great yawn.

That's fair, but each one of these tents has got like two kitchens. What? My tent does in the kitchen? Dev, did you think about a kitchen when you made the tent? Well, no, because I was excited to build the fire and make a stew. For some reason, all of the things in my house are not yet. Well, no, I just feel like I've let you down, my new friends. No, no, it's a truly amazing.

No, this is magical. I'll do the very best that I can with the meager offerings that I have, but I will make you Amdipaul's most delicious stew. I'd be willing to trade quite a bit for a tent like this if I could keep it. Would you like to keep it? I mean, if you're open to trade, I... Well, I... I would always like to partake in a bit of reciprocity.

What could you provide Andaport? That's one of the rules. We have some dough. Oh. Do you now? Well, as it so happens, I am all out of bold. I have misplaced my sattles. I believe that the pixies have stolen it.

Oh, no, pictures. Dang on, do you believe those pixies? I know, we believe those pixies. Every time. And I mean... I've been hoodwinked by pixies. It's always the pixies. Yet again.

And when they wear their leopard-piggings, I mean, just like, it's, I mean, they're a children dresser. I mean, he's married to three of them. He knows how needy they are. Three of them. How did you get yourself in that position? I don't know, contracts. I'll never read them.

Crummer reads it for me. You must be careful with the fade. I mean, that wasn't even close. They never usually require me to be careful. You mean protection? I mean making packs with them. Oh, okay, okay, okay. What did you know that I did.

What? What will you refer to you? I think we just get on to the stew. Yeah, what were you referring to? I think we get on to the stew, everybody. How was your mother-in-law doing? I don't know. I haven't heard from Texas in quite a while.

I don't know about her mom. Yeah, how about her? Oh, busty. Yeah. So you're going to offer me gold in exchange for this tent? Oh, no. Someone told me that in this realm, trinkets are more desired. Well, I would.

I do enjoy good trinkets. I have a satchel of trinket. over this way. But I am also devoid of all gold at the moment. Well, I have only these trinkets to trade because that's what I was told. Frost and Cruey has a whole bunch of gold. I'll buy everybody. He can buy everybody 10. He's looking for commerce and you're giving him trinkets? I thought that's how commerce you're in this place.

I would very much appreciate to see what trinkets you have for offer. Well, no, I don't want it. Oh, Frost, don't know. Give him a drinker. Let him show you his drinking. I've been specifically writing them down. I don't want to make the old boy uncomfortable. This isn't a big wheel from the fair.

I have a copper coin with a sater face and stall on one side of the other. That's commerce. I have a valuable piano key. I have a silver fork with bent outer teeth. I don't have a bent fork. You could go on all day? I have three of these pristine straight forks. Yes, exactly right.

Would you be at least willing to trade my tent? You can accept gold for the others, but I'm endeavoring to be of the fay, like the fay. The tent is quite large. Would you be willing to do the Seta coin and the Bent Fork in exchange for a tent? I'll throw in a Pixie's Executioner's Hood

just for you. Oh, chap, you are, you are doing wonders by me, he claps you on the back. I accept. Oh, I'm surprisingly strong. I'm going to give him the valuable piano key, the Pixie's executioner's hood, and the copper coin with one face of a sater

and the other being of a skull. Not this key. I have no need for this key. I was hoping for the fork with the bent tines. Oh, yes. Exactly just made of silver. There you are. Thank you.

Thank you. He takes the trinkets that you provide. What a lovely trade. What a lovely trade. Well, the tent is all yours. Thank you. My good man. is all yours.

I feel good about this trade. Well, how much you need? I did a large sack of coins. Well, I had about 13 gold pieces in my satchel, so I would, one, two, three, four. We did three gold coins a piece. That would put me at 12 gold coins, which is not quite what I had, but it's close enough, I'd say.

Oh, that's like highway, I didn't know that there were highway There were highway robbers on this mountain pad. You're supposed to just buy your tents and refill your entire carpent? Oh, an old boy morning. Frost over here gave me three trinkets in exchange for a tent. He should have been collecting crickets.

The value of goods. He likes trading things. Also, Torbeck's tank is warlogged and smells like trash. That's not worth three gold. You might even buy that one. I'll buy three tents. What?

That was not with anything. So nine and got. Turbix still needs a place to sleep. I can smell it from him. So? So nine gold coins then. Oh. I'll do six. Well, I don't know. That feels that feels like you're trying to

feel like you're trying to rob me. Do you know how valuable a gold piece? Do you know how valuable these tents are? You're not, you're, you are, you misplace your own goal and you expect the five of us to bail you out of that mistake? It's, well, forget that you've lost your goal. I will, I know.

I don't, I'm not, I'm not expecting you to bail me out, but I don't need to get rid of my tents. Oh, I'm sorry, it's me, but all right. How about we give you six gold, you give us these three tents? I'm about to give me six gold and I give you two tents. What a... How about we give you ten gold and we'll take two tents? I like what you're thinking.

What? No, no, I accept he reaches out his hands. That's not a don't. Don't a job. Yeah, exactly. Fantastic. Yep. Good negotiations.

Which two tents. Your tent. Yes! Yes! And your tent? Whoa, we even decided we just said two. Well, that's fine. You could pick the two then. No! Yeah.

No! Yeah, I was feeling generous, you know? But, Rick, you know, you're on your own then. Oh, Victor McTon. Please, please. You gotta come up with 10 gold on yourself. Oh, wait, I don't know. But you shook on, how to deal?

You should on. Oh, Turoreik, all of a sudden, I'm here. Oh, Tremik, you know what? Turmik doesn't want Tormick said anymore. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I got a bunch of cheap crap. Her the rules of a Faye Pact, if you cannot pay your part of the Pact,

I will choose and I think I will take that out there. Oh, oh, no, no, no. This Alba is not for sale. Well, then you must find a way to provide me with 10 gold coins. Oh, how about this? This seems like shit you'd like. I'm going to pull out a dandelion.

We've already made the agreement. We have shaken on it. How about it? These are two tents. I am contractually owed those 10 gold coins, and if they're not provided to me, I will take the out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm the goat's not account of me and gear to here.

I'm thinking, why don't we take these two tents for this beautiful dandelion. I'm handsome dandelion. I'm in the man. I got you two tents for the ten gold pieces. Well, old boy here has to choose the two tents he would like to purchase. We've already made an agreement.

He has two tents. If you can be ten gold gold one now. What do you got? What do you got? Oh, I have a lack of displace a beast eye. So do I. Oh, fuck. Oh no, I have basilis, guys.

That's, I don't know. Hold on, hold on. I'll have a mass that helps you remember your dreams. What else you got? I'll have this false set of wooden teeth. That's pretty cool. I'll be back when you're ready for food. I'm going to let you guys continue to negotiate.

You can ready. Zip up the tent. I'm back. Sick, fuck. Fowl. Oh, have I shown you? Have I played with this? I'm using the stuff use the stuff gricko and I open up my hand and a rock will float

oh that's pretty good using the stuff just floating wrap yep how's he doing it who impress your friends at parties pick up chicks at the local malls Torrick really wants it well I'm offering it to Kremie for 10 gold for that okay oh mr. Krammy come what you want for the And I'll take that five gold for one tent, all right. Okay, what do you got? I paid down half of my tent. Oh, what we got, Torbeck?

Well, I think that it's more, and Torbac thinks it's more important that we resolve potentially losing Hootty forever first. But just know that Torbeck's got his eye on the floating rock, okay? Understood. Thank you. Oh, look, the mask is, oh, p, go, go, go, yeah.

It's like, it's a factual, prop from Courage the Cowardly Dog. What? You have an actual property property? An actual problem with Curse, I went on set. I told the set. Is that genuine? Oh, yep, yep. I said, oh, I have little Goblin's disease.

My last wish is a Courage the Cowardly Dog, Proven. Jake the signature. Oh, what? Check the signature, man. It's always signed. Take a look. I assess the quality and authenticity of this prop.

Encouraged the Caravily dog. Roll a deception check. and roll a perception check to see or an insight check to see if uh oh pretty good deception a I got 18 I got a nine you know what Grico I didn't know that is this old town I'm a big fan me too I'm oh wow yeah wow oh yeah wow oh you know that song about King Ramsey's oh I was thinking a song about Dr. Jerbal remember the song about Dr. Gerbil's world oh how does that one go oh it goes it goes it goes It's talk gerbils world.

It's dark durable's world. It's talk durable's world. It's not bringing a beer. It's talk turbos world. And then it goes, it's dog turbles world. All right, he's got gold. Here you got gold. I must take my rapier.

I can only take half the owl bear now. No, no, no, no. He's a fine gold. He's a fine gold. Ordeal is complete. Oh, wonderful. Well, our deal is complete, and you're taking both of their tents.

Yes. Mine has water everything. like a waterbed, but every other kind of furniture. It's very confusing. Yours is like a teen girl's room in the 90s and you've got a bunch of that blow-up furniture. Oh, yeah, exactly. It's all inflatable but filled with water.

Awful. It's very confusing in there. So we'll get, I presume that they kind of have like a phomatic, rustic, frontier vibe, you know what I mean? Well, I love that their tents combined to each, other to create one larger tent. Exactly right. All of us can fit, though.

Ah, sweet. I was thinking quite correctly. Thank you. Well, it looks like we've had a very advantageous an exchange. I'm so glad we'll get use of the tents. And the stew is done. Oh, it's done.

Yes. How are you doing there, Frosty? You know what I think? I just wash my hands. It's important before every meal. It is? Wait, so do we buy all the tents? I think we somehow...

You bought two tents. We bought our tents, and they didn't buy their tents. So your... Grico bought two tents for ten gold pieces. And so he picked your two tents. And so you've now paid the ten gold pieces, but Gricko's tent and Torbeck's tent have not been purchased. Frost bought his with three trinkets.

Can you throw in theirs for this handsome danded line that looks. That looks like the corpse of one of my kin. Spitting image. I'm not, I'm probably, he's the only written mockery of this man's life. Um, I have some goblin teeth. How does that sound?

He looks towards Grico. They look exactly like his teeth. He smiled, they're a couple missing. That's fucking funny. Well, goblin teeth can be used in quite a few Pulverses and potions and bruise of sorts. A lot of me, I feel like at least 10% of me class got picked off by witches.

How many teeth? How many teeth do you have in there? I think it's a full set. It's a full set. Basically, at certain point his teeth kept falling it out. Now it's collecting it for some fucking reason. I also have- I also have Tabaxi fingernails.

Well, if you want to combine the fingernails and the teeth, maybe could you provide two more teeth? Two more teeth? Yes. Bricko, how badly do you want to turn? Yep. Do I get to like modify it every time I put it down? Yes, every time.

So I need to just think of something different. Yeah, would you kindly? Well, here we go. Actually, no, I don't think that what matters. There you go. One more, Griego, one more. Plenty, yep, oh God. Well, just, they had a few eggs drew.

They grow back, right. Thank you very much. That is quite the trade. Oh, I found some goblin teeth in my bag. And I feel spoiled. I'm Mr. Talvon I'm sorry, who?

Mr. Tel Avon. I'm sorry, who? Mr. Daimala. Yes. Andapoor. Andapur. I needed to know this about me. I can buy my popcorn.

Anyway. I got him. You'll be fine. Oh, you don't say, I do love a good popsicle. How would ten gold pieces for a popsicle sound? Don't accept anything more. I'm screwing. I have so many teeth.

You know, I've got one. Let's, let me, let me dole out some of the soup, and he begins to dole out some of the soup to you. Oh, how bad is the soup. It has medicinal properties. It's good for a long day. Well, all right. Off me, I dole bit.

I think Gideon got two deep out of the first butt. Oh, yeah. Torquette's not great at counting, but yeah, yeah, you can lost more than two. Oh, your nose. My nose is touching my cheek. It is. It is shifted. Your nose is shifted a bit.

Yeah. That's, you know. Oh, oh, Briggs. Hold still. Hold still. one of his nostrils, blow out your nose real hard, and a bunch of teeth on. Oh, yes.

I'm saying the knees for later. Goodness gracious. You knew that your teeth would turn out to be such a currency here in the Faye one. I'm the old mate boss. He got picked off by a WITZ in the sixth way. Really sad, Rick. Yeah, you can use an occupational habit.

There's always witches that are gonna wrap. Have some soup. What kind of soup is this? Is it good? It's not. It is absolutely not. It's very clearly a, it's very clearly a vegan. And it's a high-end recipe.

It's the kind of thing that you'd find it. kind of thing that you'd find it like a five star restaurant. It's a dandelion soup. It's a dandelion soup. That's inventive. I hope this isn't bad on my mouth. I don't see on them.

I wouldn't recommend eating anymore. They're just going to stay in your sockets and live there for a while. Oh. Those are in a sack. Those are in a sack. Oh, those are impacted. It's wet raw quinoa on his tooth sagas. Some of the wet raw quinoa gets all the way down

to the nerve and you can just feel pain shooting down your neck. Perhaps we should set up another tent and think of a medical facility. I reach into Grico's pack and I pull out some bananas. I'm gonna mash these. We're gonna make these no nice little paint for you.

It's a medicinal. medicinal stew. And so as you're taking damage from the quinoa that's making its way to the very nerves of your tooth sockets, you are healing almost immediately. And it actually makes it worse because with every bite that you heal, you do more damage to yourself and it's just a perpetual circle. The gums are trying to close over the broader. That's a nightmare. I eventually I prepare a bowl of mashed bananas. and I replace his soup with the bananas. Just eat that, and you should be okay. Just very, very slowly. Try to swish it around first.

That's not, no. He's gonna be like this for some months. I don't know how to say this, but we should just kill Krigov. I can't watch this anymore. Nah, he'll be fine. Man, you still on that whole teeth thing? I was like three minutes ago.

Yeah, I believe it was 35 minutes ago. I got brained by torment. Hey, come on, Grico, you're tougher than that. Andapore, I understand that you're looking for gleam, is it? Yes, I'm looking for gleam. Gleen or gleam? With an M? With an M. Thank you, thank you.

Gleam, all right, all right. Yes, yes, at the M. She is from Motherhorn, did I tell you? She's from Motherhorn. Well, not... Not originally. Well, that's because most of the people in Yon are either at Motherhorn currently,

escaping Motherhorn or trying to get there is really isn't much else to this place. That's not completely true. There are denizens of Yon. In particular, we have quite a, there's a Cyclops Beekeeper. I don't know if I, did I tell you about the Cyclops Beekeeper? Does the Cyclops Beekeeper have a name? The Cyclops Beekeeper?

That's it. Well, he might have a name. I did not stop to ask. He was furious when I stole Polly, and I rushed out of there. Now realizing I did not take any of the other bees with me. That was not valiant, that was not heroic, and that was not knightly of me, was it? Well, you were in love, and you made a mistake. Still am, yes.

And perhaps you can go back. You can't keep a song on it. I would be afraid to go back. I do not believe I could take him on yet again. And if he were to get poorly in his clutches, my heart would be broken. Is this a traditional giant with one eye or is it a psychic horse? I'm sorry, what? Don't worry about it.

Well, as I was saying about, as I was saying about Liam, Gleam escaped from Motherhorn, but she needs to get back. That's where her sister Glister is. They are, you see, two sides to coin. Do you know much about Bitter End? Gleem and Glister. You've asked me about Bitter End. I assumed you meant some sort of narrative metaphor,

but now I'm beginning to believe you meant to physical location. No, no, no. The woman, Bitter Enderlind. Endelin. Oh. She is known. Bitter Endeline. Endelen does ring a bell.

I recently experienced some brain injuries, though, so you're going to have to start from the very beginning. It's the dame of unhappy endings. All right, that's all done. Everybody there, everybody, they stay real cool. Yes. I've had a few of those. Yes, well, so you do know her then.

You try to give them. stuff to tell the story forward. This is what happened. So we can just go back to the toilet that wants to eat frost shit, because is the shit-eating talking toilet. The dame of unhappy endings. Oh, he's unhappy, unhappy.

How we know, I'm gonna, yeah. Tourbett was interested, that he wasn't interested, that he thought about it again. The name of unhappy endings, you say. say. I say completely normally. Her hands are in sandpaper. Are you familiar? In Yon, she is

known by old. I'll bet she is. Quite she is, yes. She is the matron of the theater. Yes. Oh, yes. And she, I imagine she's at Motherhorn as well. Oh, yes. So where does gleam and glistre fall in?

all of this? Well, it is commonly known that Bitter End believes that her downfall will be at the hands of an eclipse. An eclipse? Yes. In the astrological effect? She does not believe it will be a literal eclipse, but it's a metaphorical eclipse. And you see, gleam and glister are two sides of the same coin. They're both elves. One is a sun elf and the other is a moon elf. And because of this, she tries her best to keep them apart. Now, they used to work at the Witchlight Carnival. You see, they were acrobats. Oh.

And now that Bitter End has them in her clutches, she torments them by keeping them as far apart as possible, and Gleam was having none of it. She thought she could escape and eventually rescue her sister. She was unsuccessful. So now, with my help, she wants us to go back to Motherhorn and try to rescue her sister. Whatever you do, don't tell her,

It's like a ketchup bottle, you know? I bet she's the kind of. I have the ketchup bottle if you'd like one. He takes one out of his pack. Does your quinoa need a little bit of spice? Yeah, please. I have mayo. Whatever you got, I'm just throwing in.

Here's a jug of unnecessary sauces. Sweet, Dorex not picky. It's all just the liquid-y stuff. Yeah. When you first squirt, when it first squirt, and it's nothing. for that. Just you know, get to made of water.

I just started in the stand. Somebody photoshop a mustard that it says, just the water. Yeah. Yeah. Just the water. Just the mustard water. Just the water.

Yeah. Oh, really. That's a really an idea. Oh, the only thing it doesn't have is French dressing, unfortunately. We're all out. Well, that's okay. I swear to fucking Christ. Uh.

Oh, that's good. He's biblically accurate angels one time. I swear to fucking Christ. If I were to playing an heroic fantasy game, I would ask you where you think Gleem is. Come on, Frost. Well, the problem is I'm not quite sure. You see, we were traveling together

when we were separated. Now, Gleam is what is called shadowless. A shadow beast? Shadowless. She does not have a shadow. She doesn't have a shadow. You see, Bitter End has shears that can sever your shadow from your body. She keeps them for her own devices at her mother home.

You hear that? It is a punishment that couldn't befall really anyone. And no one in all of yon trusts the shadowless or those who travel with one. And we were traveling together when we found ourselves amidst a band of Brighonox. and they did not trust gleam as a shadowless, as a kerfuffle ensued, and I held them off as mush as I could, but when I went to look for her, she was no longer with me.

I turned the other way, and then the Brighenox were gone as they travel through their mountainous tunnels. I'm gonna write that down. I have been looking for her nigh on a day. No sign of her or her missing shadow. Let me ask you this. Are there any consequences to losing one's shadow? Why does she do this?

And does it hurt? I can't imagine missing my shadow. I am not sure. I am luckily not a shadowless, but I do know that there is a stigma about them. They are not treated kindly here. The ability to manipulate one's shadow is quite rare. So, luckily it's not something any of us have to worry about.

Right, Right. Well. Yep. Good soup, miss. So that's my hope is we had been traveling. We believe that our, we believe that the fastest way to get to Mother Horn is through the Corrid's.

So we were planning to travel to their mountain top plateau in the hopes of gaining their help. You familiar with Corrid's, of course. Corrins. Corids. K-O-R-R-E-D. E-O-R-E-D. You'd be writing this down in a big... Corridis-R-R-E-R-E-S-R-E-S-R-E-S-E. Yes, Corids.

They're about Grico-Size, maybe slightly smaller. They look to be almost made of stone, but their beards are dwarfish in nature. Their beards are made of metal. They can be used as similar to metal cording if they would be chopped, but you don't want to take a Corid's beard. It's quite offensive.

However, Bitter End has no qualms about it. You will find much of the stringing and cordage in Motherhorn is laced with corid hair. That's terrible. But the corids and the Brighinox are in an internal wall. So we're hoping to find them and see if they can help us to get around the Brighenox and make our way towards Motherhorn. Hmm.

Hmm. Didn't we see some metal-looking dwarves? One of those, maybe you told us about it. Well, have you been to Lockberry Henge? That's where they like to play their strange chess-like game. Nope. This is really, I guess, out of character. Like, didn't we, did we see any, like, stone or metal dwarves in any of the visions?

Either Torbeck Saw or... I believe so. We did? I believe so. Yeah. Who's the note? Who's the note? who's I would.

That sounds about right. So that was our hope. In our journey through the Corrid's, we are hoping to see if we can find Learham. You of course know Learham. No. The Prince of the Summer Court,

trapped here eternally. Yes, both him. And you're a bugbear, aren't you? Yeah, that's what they tell Torvang. That is quite interesting. I have heard of another bugbear. Hurley was his name. Both Lyrum and this Hurley made just complete foul deals with bitter end,

and now Hurley is trapped at Motherhorn to eternally play out her plays and her theatrics, whereas Lyrham, however, is trapped in Yon. I believe she has some need for him, being his summer court magic, of course, being a prince and all. he believes last I heard that he could use the Faye beacons to teleport all throughout Prismere and maybe even the Faye Wild proper almost using them like like portals

The portals of old Ancient stories of creatures beneath the earth that had arcane portals all over the Faye Yeah, that's cool and all But what about that early guys? Oh, I don't know him I've only heard about him through gleam. Now, she did not work at the Witch-like Carnival

when Hurley was there, but she did meet him when he started here at Motherhorn, and apparently he was just completely sullen missing his brother. They had quite a bond because she misses her sister, being unable to... Hurley worked in the Witch-like Carnival? You remember you all that? He had a twin brother, another bug bear,

Hurley and Burley. Yeah. We sold him out to Hurley's brother, a wild bat. Remember that, Torbett? No. Torbett tried to get a job, and Torbick, and they didn't want Torbock. Yeah.

Burley was the one would imprison you for five years. Well, you know, things are sometimes hard to remember when you get tortured for five years. Well, yeah, it was Burley. My name was actually hoping. Draw 10. That's match. Yeah, we basically said, hey, I think that guy you're looking for

is right there, and then he came up, and, you know, clap you in chains. So really, I have so much to do in so little time. All before I can go to Mother Horn. Well. There is no one else in Prismere quite like Amdipal and Polly, but we can travel all over Prismere. You have somewhere you need to go in thither, I can take you there.

No, really? You have somewhere you need to go in hither. I can take you there. Whoa. You want to go in thither. get to the Palace of Heart's desire, I can take you there. That's nice. That's pretty cool.

Just like that? Well, it would require a journey, but significantly faster. Than anyone else. I'm sorry, I'm choking on quinoa. Yes, the quino, really it's quite dry, I don't think I cooked it like that. Have some mashed banana. That's actually worth it for me. Oh, no, thank you.

I'm a banana-terian. Would you be willing to transport us for free, or would it come at some sort of digital trinket- To be fair, you almost abducted and trafficked my daughter. No, I did not. I did not. Well, you kind of did.

I did not. I would be saying, I don't feel like a certain point of view. I don't feel like a certain point of view. But I was going to say, we'll put that behind us. We'll put that behind us. Hmm. What about the, uh, the unicorn that's in this, uh, here province? You know what he is?

Hmm. Unicorn. I know of a beautiful white mare. Yeah. Oh, no, you're right. No, not a unicorn. I'm sorry. There's a beautiful white horse that has a spot on his forehead.

Yeah, like he's missing some. Yes, I do believe I have seen him. It's quite sad, really. There's an air of sorrow around that lake. Yeah, well, I think there's like a lightning fence or something. Well, yes. An electric fence, some kind. That is bitter ends, prized.

steed. Could you get us, land? Of course I could. I could get you anywhere you you want to go. Wow. Well, like inside the fence, like directly to the steed? Or like... I'm not sure I could get you

inside the fence, but I could get you to the fence. So it's like a general location, not an exact location. Yes, but I can't take you anywhere until I find glean. Oh. All right. I guess we're looking for Glein.

Tomorrow. In the meantime, if we're going on this journey together, you're going to need something. Let me see. Oh, you're coming back in. Tunnelia every time. You're coming. We're going to Motherhorn.

That is the end goal, yes? So coming with Amdipal to Motherhorn? Yeah, I mean, it sounds like we've got to get these two gymnasts. Everyone keeps talking about Andeport, we just sit a little tired up there, the defenseless, so how long are going to be? Everyone keeps talking about Amder. Or a motherhorn is what he meant. Oh, yeah.

He's still in a considerable amount of faith. I didn't even say the name of a place. I just was saying, you're mum living. I was, spit it out. Can I get, cause all my teeth got no thought I'm probably giving you on you too. I can't. You're still on this.

In this economy, do you ever want to take your ass for a chance now? I think it's now at least six minutes ago, man. Man, you're not to pay for your tents. You know, you're awfully ungrateful for everything Gid does for you. Yeah. I mean, you take all my teeth. You weren't going to extract them yourself.

I mean, look what I'm not. Look at my nose. You know how painful it is? I don't snap back, man. Ow! Oh! Thank goodness for the bananas. So I'm gonna say.

I agree. Well, if we're going to go to Motherhorn together, then it's fortuitous that Gleem sought to give me these. Here you are. Take one and pass one down. You'll need one of these if you're going to accomplish your goals. Oh, thank you. Take one down.

All the same. Well, they did they have their... Oh, they're all the same. There's a beer to be tickets. They are private audience with Bitter End herself. Oh, well. And that is where we'll end tonight session. Oh.

Whoa. Whoa. Thanks for running the session, Nikki. You're welcome. Good for one private audience with Enderlin Moongrove. And funny enough, I realize I've been pronouncing his name wrong all night. His name is Amador, but I've been calling him Omdipore and I'm going to keep it. It's Omnipore.

Because that's what it is now. Oh, like. When it amda rains and omnipores. That's very funny. I guess. Is wet frost? Yes. That's exactly what I say.

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