Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 6 | Guys' Night

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

The krew meets a former coworker...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/6QWWHZywbk8?si=05U74Qqj1u-Nwa8g

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Mikey Gilder, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. The members of Carnivala crew, Cremi, Gideon, Frost, and Grico, who set out to Agway to make some coin. While there, they were accosted by Kremi's old boss, who let him know that he was in severe debt. In a foolish attempt to try and earn the money back quickly,

they went to a job board and noticed a posting from one warlock looking for information on their Arch Faye patron Zabilna. They made their way into the swamps around Agway to meet up with Madrick, the warlock, to find out if there was the potential of a mass amount of gold and treasure that they would be able to use to line their pockets, maybe restart their carnival, as well as to pay off Remy Guru. They decided that this was a lucrative job. This led them directly to the Witch-like Carnival, where they were told the entrance to Prismere, a portion of the Fay Wilde was located,

and that it was through this carnival, that they would be able to enter into Prismere, find out what's going on with Sibylna, and return back to Madrick with the information that was requested, thus securing their winnings. They have arrived at the Witchlight Carnival on its final night, the eighth night of the carnival.

And we're told to enjoy it as much as they can. We'll also a sleuthing to see what information they can gather, information about what is happening in Prismere, which has led them to information regarding a coven of hags known as the hourglass coven. It is most recently that they have made it through the first four hours of the carnival. And they have just experienced one of the biggest

spectacles the carnival has to offer, the big top extravaganza. It is here where they finally have seen one half of the carnival owners in the flesh, a Mr. Light, who was the leader of the big top extravaganza. Towards the very end, he called out for participants to perform and potentially gain favor with the host in an attempt to buy them additional additional glory towards becoming the Witchlight monarch, which happens at the very end of the carnival, and the good graces of both Mr. Witch and Mr. Light themselves.

It was then that this group that you see before you, minus one random player sitting at the table being a mooch. Just kidding. It is then that you see our four main characters here decide that they want to attempt to entertain the crowd, and they do. Though Frost, overcome by some Faye magics, puts himself in quite the pickle with Mr. Light when he begins to question him publicly

in front of the entire audience about Mr. Light's most painful moment in his life. It was a tense moment, but the group was able to salvage it, and Mr. Light let his right-hand man, Burley the Bug Bear know to invite the group, to a meeting with Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, which is exactly what they were hoping would happen. It is here that we start our session. You are standing in the Big Top.

Burley the Bug Bear is next to you. He's just informed you that you were to have a meeting with Mr. Witch and Mr. Light. He rounds all of you up and takes you through the back entrance to the Big Top. And you begin to make your way through what appears to be, an employee area. You see picnic tables lined with bits of food. You see witchlight hands milling about on their breaks and enjoying some time off. Or some of them working. Some of them are there helping the performers that you just saw change into their new outfits or round up the clowns and put them into their cages. I'm kidding. Clowns don't go in cages.

But the clowns are there milling about. Oh, man. There's only one place with the clowns, not the cage. Honking each other's noses and pulling. Jesus Christ, and pulling what? You see the performers milling about doing the things that they need to get done after a performance as large and as grand as the big top extravaganza.

You wind your way through this area until you finally make your way to the very back of the carnival, right towards the edge of where the, the lake winds around in that figure eight pattern around the carnival and you see a beautiful caravan extravagantly decorated exactly what you would expect to carnival carnival leaders to to live in in beautiful striped colors of red and white silk streamers and tassels hanging this way in that gilded and glorious in front of it you see four four benches as burly motions to you to sit down. Oh.

Mr. Witch and Mr. Light will be with you shortly. Until then, just, uh, take a seat and relax. Can't tell you how long it'll be. And, uh, Catfella? Uh, yes. Mr. Light wants a private word with you first. Oh, private word. Perhaps he enjoyed my show.

Perhaps, so if you'll follow me... Oh, will my companions be joining me? A private word insinuates you alone. Well, I wasn't sure if it was private, as a private between me and him or private with me and my companions. You're very large and muscular, so I suppose I'll follow after you. Hold on. How long is he going to be gone?

Because, I mean, we only got eight hours, and if this is going to take all day, you know, first they has to help me save who... You know, it'll be okay. Ricko, I'm sure that my line of questioning just brought back some very pleasant memories for Mr. Light. No, yeah, it was fucked up.

Yeah, why are you taking him? His show wasn't even good. I was horrible. You should he did it at the end. Oh. This is like a bad kind of meeting. Not a good kind of meeting, Frost. You understand? Oh, I'm sure everything will be fine.

We don't want to keep Mr. Light waiting too long, so if you'll follow me, Cat, I'll see you inside. Thank you, Joe, I think you did the rough. Well, see, thank you, Gercco. I appreciate your confidence in my abilities. Leave the way.

Burley, was your name Burley? Am I getting that correctly? My name's Burley the bugbear. Is that a goblinoid name? I'll think it's more of a nickname. Oh, thank you. It's just my name. Oh, okay, well, lead the way, Mr. Burley.

He slowly walks over, he opens the door. And for a split second, you can see the inside. It's clearly a lush caravan, purple velvet tassels strown here and there. The wafting of incense spills out very quickly as the door opens and you are quickly, or frost, is quickly ushered inside, Burley shuts the door, crosses his arms, and leans up next to the carriage,

but then does not continue to speak. You sit here and wait for a while. You notice that you're, you not the only person here. There is another person here. Clutching on to a piece of paper that has some words scrawled on it and what is clearly crayon is a, what are you? I am also a bug bear. And my name is Torbeck. Do we recognize Torbeck? You do recognize Torbeck. At first it's hard to notice because clearly this bug bear has been a been in the drink.

This bug bear is filthy. His clothes are tattered. He looks like he has had quite the past couple of months. Oh. But this is clearly one of the carnies

that used to work at Carnivala crew. Man, that guy stinks. I thought it smelled familiar. He said, is that Toobbeck? Who? Tobac. I don't know how it is.

Do we know someone named Toothbyn't know a bugbear named Torbeck? Torbeck was, worked for a carnival from the very beginning. Do you remember him, Kremi? Well, I know we had Bug Bears working, but I mean, I don't know. No, he was really good at, he ran a lot of the games and the machines and the machines and the rides that, the Gideon. Oh, the rig game operator. That Torbay. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. And whenever the Harris wheel and that broke down, you're like, oh, Torbeck, why don't you go climb up there? You never fall and ask for workers' comp because we ain't got our workers' comp. Oh, he was when we finally figured out that he was the only one that could do without breaking the back and being fed of the pigs. Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever pay him? He also didn't pick up a torch or a pitchfork when the rest of the colony is revolted.

Good guy, good guy. Maybe that's why I forgot about him is because I haven't built an eternal grudge of hatred against him for running us out of town. Oh, that's... You know, that's a good sign, I think. Torbeck, is that you? If it isn't Torbeck's favorite coworkers, what are you doing here? I mean, I guess I'm asking, what are you doing here? Yeah.

Well, Torbeck is here to find a new job. After things went south at the carnival, Torbeck is what he likes to refer to as fun employee. But now Torbeck has gotten to the witch-like carnival early to apply for a new job. Early for like...

Early for the next... For like eight years from now? Yeah, that's really... I guess that would be very early. No, early for this carnival. Is anybody gonna tell them? Wait, so... Toolback...

You're looking for employment for like tonight? like four hours. Is that what you're saying? Correct. Wait, four hours? I thought it was eight days. Well, I mean, it is. No, no, yes, last night. Oh, Torbeck. Toorbeck, what have you been doing for the past seven and a half days? Torbeck thought he was a whole week early. You were telling Torbeck, you were telling Torbeck, That this is the last day of the carnival. Let me see your calendar. Torbeck doesn't have a calendar.

Oh, who cares around a calendar? Do you have a calendar with, uh, who she's first a lemon icy? This was who she's first time that she blinked with two separate eyes. Wait, hold on. I can't look at looking at Gini. Are you sure you're not coming to collect on the three or four months of wages I never paid you?

Oh, Mr. Crammy Torbeck would never extort anyone that he worked for as magnificent as you. All right. Is it extortion if we owe him the money? Look, no question again. Oh yeah, right, right, yeah. Torbeck may be hitting a little bit of a rough patch, but things are still looking good for Torbeck. Torbeck has a girlfriend named Clementine. That is absolutely real.

And not a card door cutting. Oh, that's really nice for you. Gosh, man. I know that you were always saying, Oh, I'm so low. Torbeck is so lonely. Nobody wants to be with Torbeck. And a nice girl named Clementon.

It's a very pretty name. Oh, Torbeck will have to remind Clementine. update his calendar. Oh yeah, no, you should ask Clementine to maybe have remand. Yeah, maybe she also should get a kind of herself if she didn't remind you correctly. Where's she right now?

Is she around? Who would love to meet Clementine? Wouldn't you, fellas? She's not here. She's not here. Oh, forgot to, you got to bring it to the carnival. Like the perfect spot for a couple. Torbuck was here for work.

If he was coming to get a job, he's not gonna bring his lady. Actually, I suppose his best said he didn't bring his best gal, all of the romances we've seen that this connoble haven't really worked out. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, no, what? Was with a mermaid who was like, you know, you know, you know what? You know what I mean, Tormac? Well, if that mermaid is still around, Tormac isn't exactly exclusive.

Oh, you know what I'm saying? A chance, Tormbeck, she's in the clams. Not you're saying, Tormac, she's got a nice set of parts. She's got in our singing voice, Torbeck. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Gideon, are you suggesting that Tormec has no shot? Yeah, yeah.

No, I mean, you can try. You could try. It'd be funny. Look, all right. Let him do it. You could try. Yeah, you could try. Yeah, you could try.

Yeah, we'll talk you up. Torbeck knows he's not as handsome as Gideon. I actually think I've never seen you quite so put together. He's like a complete chamber. He's got like bits of like dried vomit on like his chest hair. He's just not. He is the best you've ever looked. We've got some animal crackers that we left.

I'm not sure those are crackers. I pull out a handkerchief. I'll wipe my hands off. Well, you know, I'll think Toolbet, if it's true that you and you and Clement Clement times have some sort of arrangement. Often that both of you would find, well, we haven't seen the mermaid, have we? But we've heard like, oh, you know what I mean?

And so we're saying, it's kind of nice. And I mean, you know what, kiddie, you know what? You guys are kind of mean. And I'm gonna start speaking to him and guy, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra, and I'm gonna say, you know, these guys, you know, she actually, her ex-boyfriend is a mom. And I don't think that it gets much worse than that.

So I think you actually might legitimately have a chance. I mean, and maybe, you know, and he's actually kind of sad and mopey and pathetic himself. So maybe like, you know, Gideon's got too much of that cake chat energy, you know, she might like, she might want to fix somebody. No, rock, la, no, no, no,

what do you think they're talking about, I have no clue. I have no clue. You think they're talking? You think they're communicating? Maybe it's some kind of interpretive. dance or something, you know. I thought it was just hungry.

Probably singing to the Eldridge God for like boons or something. Yeah, classic with his memorandous wings. Yeah. Those goblin days always have men in his wings. Yeah, oh, yeah. And I will respond as we're talking, Oh, Grico, you've always had so many friends more than anyone. you really are my favorite co-worker.

Oh! Well, it's very nice of you to say, uh, Torbeck. You know, I... A Torbeck can only hope to have one one hundredth of the friends that Grigo has. Well, you know, Torbeck, I'll think that maybe you can start, you know, maybe think that you'll try to, try to make friends at work.

You know what I mean? They don't have to just be co-workers. Maybe you can say, oh hey what's everybody doing it's Friday night anybody doing anything oh well everybody's busy

well maybe maybe on Tuesday we could check out Ruby Tuesdays that would be nice oh everyone's busy on Tuesdays too well maybe I'll see you around you know what I mean it's right

it's like Bricka was there You know, why don't you hang out with us? I mean, if you're here alive, if Clementine isn't here to keep an eye on you, I mean, Cremie, despite all of his flaws, you know, and ill character traits, of which there are many, you know, he's very good at keeping time.

He's got a pocket watch. Oh, well, Torbeck has nothing better going on. I suppose Torbeck could, hang out with fevered co-workers for a while. Oh, good, well, you know, as long as we're here, you know what I mean? Especially when Frosty's going to be in there for who knows how long. He's probably fine. He's not going to get his legs broken enough.

I'm going to go out. Anyways. You know, I'll take offense to that if I could understand what it's saying. Yeah, I think the sentiment was quite clear. Yeah. No, you, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to do, what you want to do. It might be something nice, but given the tone of the voice, I don't think so.

Yeah, no, definitely not. I switch back to comment. I'm so handsome, I'm Gideon. Hey, that's a horrible rendition of me. I forgot to say it in Gondon. No, too cold, we always have to talk about people behind her back in Goblin. Yeah, have some common courtesy.

Oh, my doorback apologizes. It is about this time. It's a door to the, to the, the wagon opens up and you see a man that you had not seen before. But it is easy to see exactly who this is the moment he steps out of the caravan. He is shorter than Mr. Light, a pudgier, but much more put together. His clothing is immaculate, beautifully stitched, gold and silver embroidery. The top hat he wears on his head is pristine, as if it is cleaned and shined

nightly, his shoes are so shined that they're almost to a mere finish as he steps down out of the caravan, swinging a pocket watch on its chain as he looks directly towards all of you. Well, well, well, it looks like you've gotten yourselves in over your head a little bit, I see. Mr. Witch, I presume if your reputation precedes itself and it does. He looks at you and he smiles. I think we are kindred spirits, you and I. Got mine of fine shoes, might have found hat. That is a mighty, mighty fine pocket watch.

Where did you get it? My eyes are really big and the pupils replaced by pink hearts. I got it in a place you've never been and will probably never go and is worth far more than you could ever hope to own. Oh, I mean, this is my tiny pathetic pocket watch. It's nothing. It's nothing as beautifully pristine as yo. Let me introduce myself.

What a do? The name is Cremantle Crew of Carnivala Crew, and these are my conny hands. It is a pleasure to meet you, Cremant LeCrew. I do not think that an introduction is needed. I am clearly a Mr. Witch. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. He nods his hat, he tips his hat to you.

Now, I'd hope to have a conversation with you all, but as I'm sure you are aware, your friend caused quite a stir at the big type of extravaganza. And my partner in crime, Mr. Light, has a thing or two to say to him.

Now, I do think we should have our conversation, you see, because there's a lot to say. And your name has come up quite a lot at this carnival in the past four hours. People are talking about Torbeck. Who are you?

He means us. Well, the three of us and froze, but... I'm just Torbeck. Are you the sad bug bear that showed up on the last day of the carnival to submit your resume, which is simply a photo of yourself you drew in crayon? Torbeck thought he was early, and yes, this drawing looks exactly like Torbeck, including all of the horrible mutations that doctors cannot explain. Oh!

Would you hold that up for me to see? He puts the monocle up to his eyes. and he looks at it. I can see that children might find this amusing. There may be a place for you here. Yeah, stupid kids probably would find that amusing. Yeah, dumb kids.

I hate kids. Oh no, we're a carnival for children. We love kids. But we love kids money, rather than parents' money. Yeah, we love children. Now it's not the time for your idle Prater. We don't have much time at all.

Oh, with Prater. Okay. We should have this conversation, but with Mr. Lide previously and disposed, we cannot have it now. I'm fine to be... I will slow down the process of time. Why don't you take turkey bets?

Torback. Sure. Why don't you take turkey bets here and you have him? Mr. Lurkey, yes. We won't certainly take him. Yes, Mr. Lurkey. If you could take him with you,

enjoy the carnival for a bit. I'll send Burleigh to get you when we're ready for you. Don't worry about your friend. He's in good hands. All right, so you'll just, Frost, will just stay with Mr. Latt? Until their business is done, yes. He's going to be totally fun.

It's a very polite gentlemanly conversation. My name's got to be a good woman, by the way. I've also lost my daughter, and she was taken by spooky witches, but we don't have to deal with that until frosting is back. He takes his pocket watch. He takes his pocket watch, he opens it, and you watch as he takes his finger, he doesn't even touch it, but he slowly begins to wind backwards, and then really quickly, and then he stops. And you see that all of a sudden the second hand is no longer ticking in seconds.

It's ticking significantly slower. And though the carnival around you doesn't feel like it's slowed down, you do have this strange feeling as if time itself is not moving at the same pace it was, though you are currently able to function normally. How'd you do that? Just a little span and time just stops? Well, it hasn't stopped at all. It still progresses as time as want to do. It just listens to me. Oh, so on the last night of the carnival you give all of the gases a couple extra hours perhaps of enjoyment and merriment. Well, I'm giving you a couple of extra hours because we have business with your friend but we have a lot to

talk about and I wouldn't want to miss it in light of the carnival ending and all so go enjoy yourselves okay well thank you mr. witch is very last to meet you pleasure to meet you and I'm looking forward to our chat later I have a proposition that I think you won't turn down if it has anything to do with your renowned carnival I'm sure I've heard all I need to hear no I was just gonna offer for our services to kill a political trainer, but we can talk about it later. Wait, what?

He looks at you, roll an insight check. Natural 20. Oh, you gotta give it up. Well done. First roll of the night. Inside 24. You see a smirk appear on his face for just a second. He seems very intrigued by the idea of you

helping to secure a certain trader. You can tell almost instantly and he was exactly who you're talking about, and he's very interested. Well, I look forward to our conversation, Mr. LeCrew, Mr. Lurkey. All right, and the rest. Oh yeah, this is getting.

Yeah, you probably know me as the cake chat though, so I wouldn't be surprised if you don't know my name, just my title. He looks at your shirt, his eyes kind of linger there for a moment. Congratulations. Thank you. I ate the biggest cake. No one's ever seen it before.

We've never gotten that stage at the carnivore. So I've heard, but I believed it. You may go. It was a death match. Oh, his last name's cold. Like the fuel, not the slough. That's pretty good. That's really good. Like that you're not the fly.

That's really. You're just chicken, right? Oh man. Some cold slah. Some told by coach law. You hear a mayonnaise as clearly Mr. Witch has left and just slammed the door. It's usually cabbage of carriage and his mayonnaise base and it's vinegar and we leave. Everyone wants to know what Torbeck looks like.

What is he wrong? Torback is tall. How tall are bug bears? Very tall. Seven and a half. Taller than getting getting it. Seven feet tall. I'm only seven feet tall.

Very hairy. He's wearing rags and probably some burlachers. The more homeless he looks, the more accurate your drawing will be. Maybe he has like a hat or something, like a, maybe like a... Like a Newsy cap. Oh, maybe. Or like an old boot. An old boots on his head. An old boots on his head. He's got a can of beans.

The hobo bendel is just filled with rocks because Torbeck doesn't own anything. I think he's like Google classic hobo look. They're riding the rails and that's Torback. Yeah, 100% Classic Hobo love. Oh, he's got the shoes and one big toe sticking out of that. I actually did my own fan drawing of Torbeck I can share later. Join the Discord.

Join the Discord and you'll see Andy's fan art of Torback. Okay, so with that, you have, you heed Mr. Witch's instructions and and you make your way back out into the carnival proper. All the while, you do notice that Burley is following closely behind, making sure that you don't remain in the staff area, as he escorts you back into the Big Top proper and closes the curtain behind you. You are now inside of the Big Top, and you see that it looks like they're preparing to put on another show. And it's easy to just overhear from the people that are milling about.

that every 15 to 20 minutes or so, they put on a small show in the big top. Nothing quite like the extravaganza, but it's a place that if you wanted to get off of your feet and find a place to relax, have something to eat or drink, you could always pop into the big top for a little bit of fun. And they are currently preparing for one of those. And that's where you find yourselves.

All right, fellas. I guess we should, uh, Mr. Lurkey. No, no... I kind of like that better than your actual name. Nobody ever calls Torbeck by his real name. Some people call me bodacious tea. Oh, Bodacious tea? Who is Torbeck kidding? Nobody calls him that.

Oh, but dude, you are to. Can you explain that nickname? Torbeck? Oh, now on. Torbeck is shy. Is that a stage name? From now on. now. Are you putting yourself

through college with a little bit of a sock career? There's no judgment. Mr. Krami was talking. I'm just going to say, Grico, that's what we call wishful thinking. He's trying to actualize

it in his mind, and nobody's going to call you that. Wait, is just saying he's not actually putting himself through education by taking his clothes off and jumping around for the amusement of others? No, I think Grico is just referencing early 2000s comedies. Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah. Well, but... Every day for us is guys not. But I mean, it's gonna be old Paul and Shane. I'm sure I said, the Clementine and Shane. You know what I mean? So now you're with us, you're left. I'm like elbowing his like...

My calf. Yeah. His calf. So it's Tollbeck. It's got. I was not out on the town. Now that you... We've ditched Clementine.

I'm sure she's lovely, but I'm sure, you know... And Torreck missed any hope of gainful employment, so Torbeck's schedule is open now. Hey, and Gideon always say... Almost every day, they say, a day spent doing an honest day's work is a day's wasted, you know? I know. That's true.

That's what you're saying. And time wasting your time. There's no profit and honest work. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Can't enjoy yourself if you're getting paid for it above the table. That's fair. I suppose if there's time, maybe Torbeck could have a little alcohol. It makes the pain go away for just a little while.

So you're drunk too. I'm sorry, did somebody say they wanted some alcohol? Me, Torbeck. You see a pixie flying around with a... very small bottles of alcohol. So to like a human-sized person, they look like those little like tequila shooters, but to her, they're clearly like large bottles of alcohol.

Yeah, the airplane bottles. And she's got one of those, like when you see at the baseball games or they have the straps and the tray, and she's like flying around carrying all these alcohol bottles. Oh, that's lovely, but Torbeck doesn't have any money. No, it's all free. What are you talking about? Everything's free here at the car.

Oh, do you want some mulberry mead? Oh no. Yes, please. Alright, here's one more. Gors not. It's like a little fimbled. Yeah, I am like that. Um, also Mr. Cremie, drunk.

Did you want anything else from my quarts? Wait, were we at the kids' drink vendor when she would only give us like fizzy unicorn horny drinks? I'm sorry, what are you talking about? We were told... Torbeck is interested in a horny drink. We'll have to visit the elf on the stool. It's like, woo-h-h-h-h-h-h.

It was very uncomfortable. Anyway, do you have like a nice point of, like a lot of it would be nice, maybe air? I've got an enjoy a bottle of whatever you could possibly want. Oh, you got some, like, you only got spirits? Oh, we don't like ghosts here. Got rum? I don't...

Well, I have a raspberry rum. I'll take it. I'll take it. Oh right, and she passed. She only hands it to you, but it's tiny. That was it still like that? Yeah. What about whiskey?

Oh, well, that depends on what kind of whiskey you want. Something spicy with a little kick. Okay, how about Dragon Fire whiskey? Oh, yeah, that'll do. Alright, here you go. Oh. Did you want anything? You got like a cup of beer?

No. Uh, they probably tell them. You know, like all the bottles would be in? It's all like I'd liquor. Oh. Uh, no, I'll wait until it'll be a cold liquor. I mean, it's Gadsnacht. Come on, we're doing shots.

Yes. Oh, good thing. Good to meet. I mean, my daughter didn't get taken by free war of Oweissons for millions. But it is Gajnine. You just consider my babysitters. Oh, me.

It's all about it. It's all about it. What's all the mister Lord? I'm gonna make it okay. So did you want something from my court? Oh, gosh. Big something. Oh, do you have like a...

No, gin. You got me gin? Give him some jam. Oh, some gin. What kind would you like? You want ginger gin. Stanky? I mean, as much stank as you got.

No, maximum steak. I'll have some ginger gin, yes, please. All right, here you go. And she passes you a bottle. I would be careful about drinking it all at once. It's a lot. And it. Gosh, Lord.

Hey! Oh, no. Wasn't he gonna toast? Can we get four more? Okay, yeah, yeah. I need you all to make Constitution saving throws a disadvantage. Oh no.

Constitution? Yeah, a disadvantage because you just shot it. It's the size of a thimble. Oh, no. I just, oh, oh no. Torback got a seven. Grico got his seven. Oh, God.

Nine. Uh, nine. I just, oh! The size is really dis- Content and that to put an elephant to sleep. You are all wasted. What else? Yeah!

With a little elephants. Uh, all right, make that. Imagine if we were elephants. Yeah. What? It's not. Now. Yeah.

Hey, hey, that's a strong stuff. Bodhis tea. Ah, ha. Why don't you give us a little toast? I'm sorry for stealing your sport. When we thought, we're from or whatever they have. Are you sure? No, well for Bodacea.

It's on Bodace's tea. You can't toast without boots. She just starts to ask them out. She looks really nervous. You look really nervous. Yeah. All right. Sport back can't toast without another drink.

I'm just gonna. That understands the reason. I'm just, I'm gonna go. So good luck. She turns and flies away. Oh, no, we don't have a problem. You have a problem. I don't know why everyone's always judging.

We're not elephants. He didn't say it. We're not elephants. Elephants guide me. Welcome to elephants. Toormack. Toast is. Tormac yearns.

for physical touch. This is the first time you've left her alone in a long time, so he faces his love, his best gal, Clemento, and her lovely soft touch. Yes, she has the touch that is soft as an orange rindon, Clementine. The roll of constitution saving Christ is in the name. Oh, Grinco's gonna twist.

Oh, let's go. you're dreaded. Oh, I got a 14. 15. I got a 15. 16. This face it burns. Oh, it's almost a half from 20. Oh, 13.

Doing a little better. You know what, actually, I'm not going to twist you. Yeah, you can go ahead and use a twist. Okay. I'm going to keep my dread for something fun. I got a 20. Roll D100 for me, please. Okay.

That was kind of my point. We got to use them. You got a, you're right, you're right, you're right. And you're still drunk. You're still drunk, so. I know, I'm still blind. So who passed out? Who failed?

I got a 15, what do that mean? 15. You got a 16? 16. 16. Well, all fine. 73. You gain the beauty of the gods

as long as you be yourself and mere each day. If not, your beauty will grow up to divorce. I see myself in just, well, I see myself in just, well, all of it. Wait, what is it actually that happens? So all of a sudden, you turn and look at Grico, and he is the most beautiful goblin you've ever seen.

Long, luscious, blonde locks, plump lips, perfect skin, long feathery eyelashes, piercing green eyes. Oh, my goodness, Gricka, when did you get more handsome than Gideon? What? I mean, this is actually the first time. No. Does this at least once an hour? You know what?

Tovette, I know, on no bodacious tea, that I was saying that you had a chance with that big Titty Mermaid. But that was before I had two drinks. And before I look like this, you don't have a change. And nobody do you get in.

It is at this point, Kremi, that you're looking at Grico, and though he is beautiful, he is four. Grickos. And he is stumbling about, you feel your head just spin and spin as you pass out. Stead it there, fella. Oh shit. Oh, I know the beer guy got a little thing, but you're awfully pretty.

No, he's just hands, oh, my, no. I pass out of the kiddie's arms. Oh, is Mr. Tremi going to be okay? To be honest, I don't even notice he passed out. I'm too busy looking at Grico. Have you seen him? I don't blame me. There's a lot going on right now.

The way I would equate it is he goes from being goblin to goblin king. So it's as if you're looking at a tiny jarriff. No, I'm wearing spandex now and like I just have a crazy, crazy bold. Huge copies. The rock mark is perfect. I have an absolutely enormous penis. Actually, it doesn't change the look of his face at all.

He just isn't much larger penis than you. You know, I'm just like that Pixie said, normally, I have to say that, oh, the size is deceiving, but now I don't have to. You'll remember, let's go to the lake. Does she have any friends? Oh, we can ask her, she probably's got a nice friend, yeah. Oh boy.

Yeah, she might have like, you know, cousin or something. Yeah, we can go to the L.A., just be careful when you walk there to not trip over your giant hog. Ow, my fuck. Are you gonna... I'm getting used to this little, you know, this is, you know what I say? For a time, it's a charm. Are you going to slain that over your shoulder when you walk? No, honestly, I think the power of Fay Magic is keeping it all bucking up there.

It's only, it's early. It's right. Like alligator kiss? Yeah. I, go on. No, no. I, wait up. Wait a little bit right now.

Oh, oh, no, I want to wake him up. Oh, no, wait, what'll wake him up. Oh, does that alligator not have a mustache? Oh, wait, wait, wait, I go on, I go on. I go on. I, you know, of course. I think Torbeck has the answer. I get really close to my whisper in his ear.

Torbeck has various horrific rashes. I'm not strong, Torbeck. You don't really know gummy there, I mean. I guess he was always having you, you know, work all the read games and climb up and fix things. And steal from people. Yeah. You know, crummy, come on.

Come on. Come on. Wake up. It's just distasteful. Wake up. It's just embarrassing. It's just embarrassing. You're embarrassing yourself and guys' none. Torback was...

But, but, why's the tour bag? I was very excited for Guys Night Out and we already lost a good soul. Well, you know, you got it, I mean, look how skinny he is. I know, I know that I'm a short king, okay? I don't know about a whole lot of mice. You are a short king. You know, I mean, it's bristling. Oh.

I mean, look, I'm like the crimson chin. These are some unbelief. Oh, God. But, I mean, crummy, I can't believe, I mean, he's all scale and bone. I don't mean it's darned. You know that you can easily wake up when it's just, you're just unconscious, you just be shaking away.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why yet? Way you. But I would say you're significantly more drunk than the rest. You're supposed to turn me out my side. I'm gonna die! Oh, damn it, cruelly, I'm not a doctor, all right?

Oh, yeah, or a surgeon. Damn it. I was not a no. I've never saved anyone. Well, I mean... Oh, my hat. Where's my hat? It's on your head.

Did I lose my hat? It's on your head, currently. Oh, I'll beg the gods, all right. All right. You actually have your mustache far away. I was just trying to wake you up. Wait. Is there? Hold on, and I flip open my compact mirror.

Oh, hold on. Can I take a look? No, no, no, I try to like touch up on my mind. I'm smearing it all over the place. It's like, at the club looking in like the car mirror. Oh my! Oh my, my! It's never really. Shut up.

Shut up, Tiffany. Tiffany! Shut up. Shut up. Kevin won't take me back. Do you think that he's just playing hard to guess? playing how they got it today. How do I look, is it pencil thin and dapper?

Nah. Yeah, I heard it straight. It's straight. I mean, you're looking pretty good, Rick. I mean, thank you, but I mean, pencil thin you mean, thickered and a snickers. Well, that's not what I mean.

I don't know. I mean, Flosci said it a couple hours ago, and I just, I don't know what that means. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It's just sounded thick with several seeds, If you know what I make. Just like that mermaid, you know what I mean?

Oh, speaking of the mermaids, Mr. Cremie, could you please not tell them about my rashes? What about ration? Roll a constitution they make through. To survive the knowledge that it's kind of a horrible rations. If you don't remember, just forget it. Thirteen. You feel like if he keeps talking about his rashes,

you're not gonna be able to hold down. the liquor. You stop. No, look, look. I'm sorry. Turkey, just please. It's Torbac. It's modacious tea you're talking about.

This is the last night of freedom. Oh, that bodacious tea has. I thought his name was lurky. No. No. It's a very classic gobloid name. Okay?

He stays like 10 feet tall, but. You never see him. No. No, you know. Yeah. Big fuck. We guys are all big fellas. My neck hurts from looking up, but at least I'm very handsome.

But now that I'm so handsome, we got into town, because this is going to wear off. Oh, Grammy, can I see him here very quickly? There you go. I don't know. I mean, I can barely tolerate standing within 20 feet of you, Turkey. You fucking stay on. Oh, what my. Oh.

Torbeck has zero expectations and is still disappointed. If I clean you up and give it in the vomit pages or when you take offense to that? No, Torbeck would be very appreciative. All right, because I just can't tolerate anymore and I cast restitution. Yeah, you, you attempt to- Stick out, vomit.

You do, and you see that Torbeck is standing there without any clothes on at all. Oh, with this Torbeck might finally smell like a living humanoid. Well, Torberg, you're, you're, I don't see what they call you bodacious tea yet. You gotta get you some cool drip, is what they say. Dread. You gotta give you some drip, no cap fam.

I don't know, could you, can I borrow your lipstick? Well, I don't need to do some o's shadow. It's not, I mean, it's a stick for my lip, but it's not lipstick, all right? But what is it? It's my moustache application device. Oh, man, I'm already a moustache application device. I feel like I'm looking like my young days with the feathered tips like when I used to be in that band. All right, but don't waste it.

Okay, hold on. That's not your lips. Oh no, I know, I know. I know. I hate that no matter what you do. You just look better or better. I'm very symmetrical. Roll a constitution saving throw-ro-groom.

Oh, me? Just straight? Mm-hmm. Oof. I'm just gonna take it five. Okay, thank you. Oh, no. Oh, you're looking coordinates.

All right, good back. Okay, he's just done. So what's next on the big guys' night out? You still make it. Oh, let's get you some fresh. I have you, no, no, look. They were so filthy, you prostitiation them right off. They disintegrated.

They're being held together by vomit. My underpants were like shredded wheat. We gotta cover them. His underpants had more holes in them than they had underpants. Oh, oh, here's your hat, Primi's hat. What about you? We're gonna go to fairy jail. You let that hang out around the kitchen.

That's what I'm saying. I mean, Toveth is gonna get out of it. to another lish. What are you suggesting, Bricko? Torbett isn't a pervert. I'm just a bugbear. Okay, I'm pausing.

Okay, I'm pausing this. Hold on. One fucking second. So Andy pitches this character to me. Mind you, like 10 minutes before we go live. And he says, I decided to play a sad character

so that things wouldn't go off the rails. Horvick's pretty sad. I thought I was laying that on to it. They're not conveying that. We're gonna go steal some clothes. We can't steal a close, I will say, you remember, we hear one of the witchlight hands, it actually triggers your memory. You hear one of the witchlight hands say, hello, do you want to go out?

It's clearly one of the animal tenders, is they're taking the animals out for their nightly walk. And it reminds you that when you were walking through the staff area, you saw an entire costume closet that was filled with costumes of all sizes. Clearly some that would fit bug bears. We got to hurry out in my hat bag. Okay. Nothing to see here, children. Children do not. There are no children in here.

Oh, people do not look over in this direction. It's just guys not. We're not pervert. It's just guys not, you know. As you begin to yell this out, people start to turn and look. Oh, no, it's going. It's working. It's not.

It's just gosh not. It's just guys being good. He's got a beard naked? Oh, yeah. He's not a butt wear. He's a bird man. What he's mostly naked. No.

It's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's madden. Oh, no. I got to drop the hat. He didn't brush out my butt crack hairs. Oh, I don't Don't look it Okay, we're going to get you cleaned up We're going to get you cleaned up

Okay, let's go into the costume chest We go to the costume chest Is it stealing? Is it stealing? What, no, I think it's it stealing? One of the consequences Stealing's kind of a thing I know there's like rules of games

I thought everything was free Every, all the worst case scenario, if he takes the costumes, he just gets captured by horrible witches and sucked into a hell dimension. Oh, is he going to be sucked to hell? It's just, you know, if murky, does it. What? What? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Torbeck is not going to steal if it's going to get him sucked. Toerbeck has reconsidered to the guy.

The costume check off like, here we go. Sorry, Mr. I need you all to make me. make a stealth check. Because you are sneaking into the into the stage hand area. What? What? Stelf, you say? That'll be 19 for O' Grigo Grimgrim. Oh, I'm not, Jesus. A dirty 20.

Oh. Storffirty. That's like a vision though. Oh, gosh. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You're going to blame. You give love a bad name.

Nine. You got a nine? You, everyone else seems to be beginning to sober up, though it hit really hard. It doesn't seem to be lasting that long, which is really nice. Except for you, Kremi. Whatever she gave you was very, very strong. And you are attempting to keep yourself together

as you exit back out of the big top the same way that you came in came in with the assistance of Burley, and you weave your way through some of the, some of the witchlight hands as they're going about their business. Most of them don't pay any attention to you at all. The sight of a goblin and a bug bear traveling together is really nothing. A fire genocci, especially in the way that you are garbed,

it seems like it could easily be something that they would see performing at the show. And so they don't think anything of it. Kremi, however, is constantly stumbling and falling into witchlight hands knocking them over. I'm not gonna open. And making a very loud clatter. Oh, I, oh, oh, I, oh.

Eventually, eventually a goblin makes their way up to you. What's going on here? Maww-w-w-ha-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-h-l-h-l-h-l-h-l-h. I don't know. I don't get coffee. I don't want to What are you? Fuck

Oh You shouldn't check advantage because I'm not I'm assisting you Yeah I'm gonna twist it because I'm so answered

Roll a D100 Oh, the natural tawny That's fucking good though Try to chew for a Bigger twists He looks at you and goes

All right, well you know Well, if you're sure about it, you know how God's not is, you know. All right, we'll grab up, grab him a coffee on your way to the closet then. Toothicum and get dressed. The show's about to go on in like 10 minutes. So get him together. Oh, the show. What are we gonna see?

Hit the big top, you idiot. Oh. They're gonna need you out there. So get this guy closed up and you can't get friends, sew it up. Close him up, okay. Let's hop two. I don't have tall day for it, all right? Get ass.

We're back on stage. I'm fine. I'm fine. Get him a coffee, go, go, go, go. Do you have coffee? Well, I'll have some of my coffee. Oh, okay, I'll actually feel like I'm starting this sober up a little bit. And so you are able to make your way over at this point.

People are like, oh yeah, clearly they're just working the show. And you know, people wave at you and they're like, ah, you're new, welcome, yeah, it's good to see you, good to see you, oh, how long are you been around? Oh, yeah, eight days. Oh, yeah, real. Those tuna, those tuna, sandwich. everything switched to plant-based options

are very nice. I hate that. Yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah, me too. I'm not a fan of the Terribles, not even a little bit now. Some people are deathly allergic, too. Yeah. Oh, gosh, it's a real shame what happened to, uh... It's a bully wug, I'm just not really into Terribles.

Oh, yeah, no, I mean, if it was actually leech meat and muskrat meat, I really like my fungus, on my sandwiches. Oh, yeah. I appreciate that. No, yeah. You've really excellent taste. Thanks.

Why is he naked sitting here at the table? Oh, no. I mean, Bobbed is a very... Torbeck? Do we have an 18-plus show going on at some point tonight? Oh, Torbeck hopes so. Well, I can get it or not? Oh, is your name Fun Gus?

What? Fun Gus. Not my name's... No my name's... Trudy. Oh, Trudy. Oh, Trudy. Oh, Trudy.

I mean, I just made a presumption. Well, I just made it up. Trudy. It's quite nice. You got quite nice two hours ago in the same direction. What are you talking about? I'm looking straight at you. Oh, that's clearly not.

You know I speak Bollettwug. Oh, do you? I do. All right, you want to say something to me nice and Bullywug? Oh, I guess I don't speak it. I'm all understanding. standing. Hey, I knew what you said.

Oh, great. Mostly bad. Okay. That's what I was really nice. It was true you said. All right. Well, I gotta go on a smoke before the show, so I'll see you later.

She gets up and heads out towards the matter. So, same what happened about klutzy. Definitely. Yeah, me rest in peace. Yeah. A terrible accident. Having an allergic reaction to Platin based on men, you know.

Speaking of allergic reactions, it really sucks what's happening to your eyeballs right now and she turns around and walks away. And you see that Grico, even though he is beautiful, the bottom part of his eyelid where he put Kremi's makeup

has now swollen. He's having an allergic reaction in one of the chemicals in the makeup. Oh, I'll see you roll my D-100. You did. Oh, no. Torbeck has seen this before. Nade one. Vines and leaves begin to intermingly are sparingled with your hair and body hair.

Oh. Oh. What's going on with you? You look like some kind of beautiful forest goddess. What I want to? Yeah. But. I'm slightly concerned.

I'm going to tug on the leaves that are attached like his arm hair. Ah! Torbeck is sorry. Torbeck is sorry. I think you'll start calling me the green man. What? I think I will become the king of the fay looking like... At least I'm less confused now.

Andy's dead. Andy's stuff. Toby! Yes, Greg. From one and over to another, how do I look? Well, you look considerable. considerably worse off than before, but probably still better than Torbeck. So I'd say you're doing all right.

Oh gosh. Which one of these do I have to steal to get sucked to hell? Well, I think if you steal anything, you'd be sucked to hell, alright? It's obviously not what we want at all. Yeah, I think actually that goblin has offered you all the clothes, so... Enough for Torbeck. for Torben. And I just begin to get through and see if I can find what would fit me.

Roll a D-100. I got a 58. And of all the things you find, the only thing that looks like it's going to fit you is a Playboy bunny outfit with very large ears. Guys. Fish, fish that type little cups. The hair is just pouring out.

You like can't even see that? Guys not. Man, wait, wait. Well, this is the only thing that fits Torbeck. Oh, yeah, it's a funny joke. Ah, yeah, it's a funny joke. Gideon, will you please tighten my bra? This really jam straight up your ass press.

Let's see if I think Torbeck is in. He can't breathe. Oh, gosh not, just a funny joke. Oh my God, I'm so glad you rolled that. Funny joke. I don't think Andy can play at this table anymore. I think... Well, fuck.

We were gonna invite you back next week, but I think you just need to go home. Well, that's very tarbeck of me. What were we even... Oh, yes, you were donning your bunny costume. So you've just finished donning your bunny costume. And it was the only thing you could find in the trunk that would fit you. But it's on.

It's a little pulled up into your ass. You definitely have a fedgey, a fur wedgy. Yeah. You know what, guys? We... it's not even stealing. I feel like we should... It's Gorsonite. We should all wear a costume

so that Torbeck doesn't feel so out of place in his lovely outfit. Oh, I mean, I'm covered in phones and also my eyes are perfectly. But also wear a costume. Carrick makes a good point, though. Torbeck initially was uncomfortable, but now it just feels right. This better not awaken something in Torbett.

I'm gonna Dormack. Doraug got the body, Adi. I'm gonna dive into the costume chest and look for something that fits me. Okay. Have I still wasted? Huh? Am I still wasted?

You are all, you're all at least drunk. I would say you're not so wasted. You can't function anymore. But you're still on, you'll still, yeah, I would say you're on everybody else's level. And you're slowly sobering up. Roll a D-100, you little scamp. Are we?

72. Is it like a disguise for the show so they don't recognize us or? Oh, God. It's good night. Crami? You gotta be a little watch. It's a prank. Just a joke, you know?

Torbeck has removed no from his vocabulary. The same yes to everything that comes Torbeck's way. No, it's gonna be the last night, you know what I mean? This is not at all what you're going to expect, but you find an egg costume. It is the shell of an egg. But it is oddly painted with scenes of human misery and disturbing details. Oh. This is...

Boof. What is... What is... You have all these options. That's what you chose? Oh, yes. I mean, mass execution. Look at the family of pestilin.

Oh. Oh. That's a pretty horrible. That costume. I tell you're really harsh and torsion Backs buzz. Well, I mean, it's only like a good number of corpses on sparks. Yeah, look.

I'm going to see what they're raised. Let me take a look. Oh, look at the starving children. You can see their kids. Yeah, I'm not going to be the only one not in costume on Boys' Night, so my grand one as well. 78. Oh, God. Boys Night.

That hell's great boys gosh not, you know what I mean? Boys Night out. Well, that's right. Why is the Dungeon Master laughing? You find a costume and it has a costume of a woman who's been recently murdered. Torst paper. This is getting dark. Can we walk around in this?

No, I need some spirit gumble to a plavis up. Next leg. It does come. come with a silicone breastplate. They are large. And there's blood all down the front of my silicone bosom. It's a mess to pieces.

You know, don't make you fly. Let's do this. Oh, okay. And look, it's like a Jessica Ratnett. It's like total sequence. Oh, yeah. I love that. Sparkling.

Oh, look all the way down to like your half. There's a big slit up the side from my leg. You are very striking, Mr. Cremie. why to do that, gentlemen. I guess you are a bit of a tall thinn, boy. This outfit, Gideon, isn't going to fit you very well. It's similar to the cake shed outfit where it's just a little bit too small,

but it is clearly a go-go dancer's outfit that is designed to look like a very flamboyant peacock. Hey guys, I'm an egg. Oh, well. Look at this, I think this is gonna fit perfectly. I mean, I'm almost in a way to flump these feathers, you know what I mean? This is why Torbeck can never have nice things. Why?

Just when Torbeck thinks that he gets ahead. Here comes Gideon. We did this for you. He does it for you. He does it for him. Torbeck will help. Oh, God. The horrible floods are on the bottom.

Oh, God. You really get a lot. I'm in there. Hey, gosh, I'm an egg. I slip on giant, like, yellow go-go boots up past my knees. Well, all right.

I feel a little bit of place. We're ready for the big time, but I do it. I feel like I need to change. Hold on, I'm just going to see if they have anything a little more fitting, you know? I just don't want to be out of place. I mean, I do like being an egg

and the human misery is kind of funny. I get a little grim when I drink, which I want to call me grim grin. I'm just going to do one more little looksie, you know what I mean? Oh, he's wearing the body of a murdered lady. Bro, I was cut in the back alley. 10.

Okay. Right? I look like he closed me up in a cage. I don't have to dance to technical colors. Okay, we got a really great time. So you did get at a lot of drugs? I get old couples. kind of, scotch not, you know what I mean?

You find an outfit of a, what is very clearly, a cloth rag doll that is skewered with needles. Oh, it's a little macabre. I want to keep looking. Is that a kind of fabric? I'm too handsome. Yeah, I think. I mean, I'm looking.

Yeah, I know. 94. Oh boy. It's a little macabre for me. I'm gonna have to shoot me, it's gonna take me one. You know what we're stuck. Dermede mouse. God,

probably could. Going to, your arm back there? Need some help? Is it the egg? Can go out. Oh, no. He's a big strong man.

He can just rip you out of that thing. Oh, yeah. I might not look like it right now. Has the boots and the fishnets and these fancy sunglasses. It doesn't have those muscles, though, you. Yeah. Yeah. I can rip that egg right off you.

Oh. So you like, oh, I forgot, I have the powers of the spirit. You're gonna see a flash of blue from behind. And you're gonna hear the eggs who just drop on the ground and you're gonna hear the skittering of some sort of insectoid creature and then a flash of blue and then I'll see, I'll truffle around and I'll step out. And it's just the mouse costume from Mean Girls.

But like, I have like giant, Like googly eyes felt really badly taxidermine. And like their stitch eggs, yeah, for glass eyeballs. Oh, the mouse, see my ears, duh. It's perfect. And your eyeballs are still swollen. Yeah. Your body suit is hugging your enormous hog.

I was a good. Awesome. It's a bit obscene. I was always cool with you before, but I hate kids and animals, and that's definitely a hog. I would just like it to be known that so far you've been turned down for a meeting,

walked into a big top, and put on outfits. And that's the extent of what I did it. How do I know? This guy's not. I like weird I can do this. It's just a prank, you know? They can't hold her to get you if it's on guys. This is a joke if you're lying, you know?

How does my hair look for? It's squeak, squeak. It's not weird if you're good at it, you know? Exactly. That's actually true, though. It's not weird if you own it. You know what I mean? I'm a little, stitchy mouths of my glass of glass awl. Well, you know what they say.

These boots were made for walking. So where are we going? Only the end of the show, don't they? Oh, oh. Did you want to stay in your costume? What do you mean? Well, look for something doing a little bit sexy, Grimmie. It's God's nice. It's a little macabread, don't you know?

I think it will. It's a little macadale. I thought it was perfect, but if you guys are judging me out, I mean, I cut. Come on, Cremmy, show some legs. I mean, look at this big... I mean, no, that's kind of nice, actually. No, I like, I like it. The blood cut of goes.

That kind of goes with my uh stick my leg out. Uh, 57. 57. Did someone, do you get that one? Oh, I have 58. Uh, roll it again. Eighty-six. Ooh, good number.

That's what I just... I found the deepest, darkest pits of hell. Where I will soon be sucked, too. I can't do that because it's more to do with rats. 50. I don't want them if they're too close, you know. Yeah, yeah, that's... I feel like Big Kitty murder ladies fine.

Why are you keeping these? But to me not some pretty close. I can walk in. Night tea. I will see what that one is, but you might do the one that you just rolled. I'm just rolling. What do you think? The costume of a glass jar containing a weird bit of flesh floating and

floating and pickling fluid. The other one, the other one was a... Sorry, I'll least. A dead scare of beetle. I think you should keep the... Stay with the murdered. Yeah, I'm just gonna throw that... I mean, it's quite impressive that the costume design that was able to convey pickling me.

I mean, that's quite nice class. What do you think? What show do you think? What show do you think? calls for, you know, whatever kind of mouse you are. A flesh in a pickling jar. Dead scarabino. A dead scarabino.

Oh, my name is taxidermy. Squeak, squeak. A murdered lady and a go-go dancer. What play is this? A peacock go-go dancer. A peacock go-go dancer. It's a good look. And a playboy bunny.

And you forgot Torbeck again. You really just disappear into the scenery. I mean, is it? Oh, wow! You're a bugbearer. I mean, you literally go invisible if you stay in still. I'm very stealthy. Okay. I feel far too sober for guys, what do you think? Well... I mean, I feel very silly and sexy and I want to not think about the reality to that. So let's get a little more. I could use another drink. Torbeck's starting to feel the pain again.

Let's get shots. Yeah. Let's get shots. You make your way out. Nobody even... Nobody second guesses you. They knew that you were going in to change into your costumes. You get a couple of strange looks as you walk away. Or people are like, that's really what they're wearing. I mean, I guess that's the show that's happening.

Is this a new show? Maybe we should check it out. I mean, God, did you see the hog on that gu? Oh, I put it up. Oh, Pitchies, now I have some traffic. I hope it tastes like banana. They ignore you as you make your way out into the tent. The show still hasn't started, and the people that are preparing for it don't even look at you because they know that you're not part of the show.

But you are able to spot the Pixie with the drinks, as she is flitting about on the other side of the big top. Another round, please. Oh, you were talking to me? Yeah, if you don't know. What are you even wearing? Now Torbeck is definitely bodacious tea. Oh, Bodacious tea!

Why are you wiggling your eyebrows as you like that? Oh, Tengsy, Dermit, this is Bodacious T. Wait, I don't know, are we coming over with other names? Yeah. Oh, two course notes, please. I've obviously oddly attracted to you in that outfit. Torbeck is also attracted to bodacious team.

Oh, don't you seeing anyone currently? Well, I don't know. There's your true friend. It's a bit complicated. No, it's your best gown. That's why it's guys. Well, she is made of cardboard. Well, that's why she'd have called Clementine.

Oh, poor regular, just because she's, just because she's maybe a little on the flatter side, and have a wooden push nally. It's not nice to call her a couple of me a little. Oh, she's dumb and flat-chested. That's what you meant about. Yeah, that's not very nice. He's happily betrothed to Clemente. I could be dumb and flat-chested if that's your thing.

Oh, well, maybe meet Bonacius T after the show for a little something extra. What side of the Chronival do you want to meet on? Are you going to bring your friends? Are you going to come along? Oh, well, uh, uh, it's the guys. North side of the car. North Dengue. Okay, yeah, I'll meet you on the north side.

What? in like, I don't know, 15 minutes if you'll be there then. Oh, she winks. You can give me, obviously. Torbeck will be there in 15 north side of the carnival. And then a shift ends in 30, if you know what I'm big. Yeah, yeah, I can have, yeah, I can have a, yeah, I can have a P&E take care of the drinks for the next round.

If it's, if you're not busy, that's fine. Well, we first we must have our next round because we're beginning to feel very silly. silly. Oh, okay. I'm feeling a little silly too. Like I had some giggle water, but I didn't, because I don't drink on the job, but I could if you wanted me to.

Anyway, what do you want? I'll play giggle water, whatever that is. Make it too. No, we don't have that here. We just have the alcohol. Oh. We'll have the fruityest, lightest, pinkest thing you have, four of them, please.

Okay, you want a love suck, sure. Oh. I think is that was okay or a couple of extra scenes. Oh, yeah. And to drink, if you would. It's like a succubous drink, you know? Oh, uh, audacious tea will take one. Taxi Jeremy will take one too.

All right, tea. You want one at two. Well, it's... Hold this. We'll stick with one. Oh, all right. It's nice. I don't want to have to mother have this. She hands it to you, but she like grazes her little tiny pixie hand across your hand.

Ah. See you in 15, big boy. And then she hands the rest of you your drinks. A stiletta will take. one, bleak. Because my throat was cut in the back alley with the dagger. I thought you meant to stilettos that you was wearing.

Oh, double on time drool. Oh, I like your shoes. Are those Christian the quoth? I don't know what that means. Are they lupitons? I mean, I could check. Oh, they've got the red soul. They definitely lose.

Oh, well, is that good or bad? That's really good. You want to make sure you show the bottom of your shoes at all time. It's how you can get some of the men. I've never done it my own. Oh, it's just a joke. It's just a joke.

It's just all fun, you know? He's with Japan. We're doing this. We're doing this. It's all ironic. It's all ironic. Yeah, it's just very ironic. Yeah, it was a dairy, you know.

Okay, well, you guys enjoy your drinks. Remember, don't drink them too fast. Well, be careful. Alright, we'll see you in 15 minutes. I don't think I can throw off the swelling. All right. Toast, toast, toast. Oh, okay. Okay, um.

To the greatest talk. And she flits away quickly. You can see she's going somewhere to change. Oh, you want to make a toast. Go ahead. Oh, if you don't mind. Torbeck doesn't get guys night out very often. You know, British nights about you.

Teet, Tom, yeah, bodacious tea. Come on. Well, come on in that outfit. Let's go. Wouldn't it be funny if Frost never came back? No, I'm just, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Unless.

Torbeck was just kidding. Torbeck didn't mean to ruin the mood. Why don't you tell something nasty to you? You're betrothed, a lovely beautiful Clementine. Yes. Here's to my lovely betrothed Clementine, and certainly not that... Oh, Clemming! Now, for the first time, I'm viewing my betrothed in a completely different life.

Anyway, flemy-climmy. It's a guy's night. To Guy's night. This is ironic. It's ironic. John Rose. There's an ounce of seriousness. Flemmy-Clemmy.

Our board doesn't dry out very well. Not with you around, bodacious tea, huh? I'm actually cramping. I might piss myself. I think I've lost sight in my left out. If I black out, just keep playing. That's producer Rick if I've ever heard him. Okay.

Now I feel not less weird about being yourself. I'm gonna explain something though. I was literally like, you know, I feel really bad for Torbeck. So I'm gonna roll on an attraction meter for this pixie. And unless I have to get a natural 20 otherwise. She's not interested. I rolled fucking natural 20. So I'm like, she's got to be interested.

She's got to be. Those are no else I said for myself. It's literally. It's all downhill from here. It's right here, beautiful natural 20. Wow. Yes. Well, what do we do for 15 minutes?

I guess taught bodacious tea is going to abandon guards nights like he doesn't understand the difference. Oh, no, no. Cricko, you misunderstand. I'm taxi dermie, thank you very long. Taxi dermy, my Torbeck apologizes. First off, Torbeck doesn't know which way north is. Second of all, did you see the way that that pixie touched Torbeck's hand? She's clearly just setting me up for the fall.

I would never abandon the guys on guys' night. Oh, you're right. It probably was a sick joke that all her friends were going to laugh at. Yeah. Yeah, so in order to get the laugh first, Torbeck just sent her in a random direction. Come on, boys. You know, that's a great way to approach your future. It isn't self-sabotaging at all.

You don't need therapy. Let's go. Let's go, lads. Are you sure? I mean, this is it. Like, this is your one shop. Yeah, you definitely won't hook up on anybody having this. Torbett.

She had a roll of 20 on that. That's only five to set out. Think, Torebeck's never been more sure of anything in Torebeck's life. The barometric pressure of the area dropped when she shuts her hand. Torbeck just wants to dance. And so doesn't the Bachelorette parties? Oh, I'm like, you're gonna kill Rich. Oh, we're just gonna dance with the girls.

I mean, guys, no. We just wanna dance with the... Yeah, no, we don't need to worry about any girls. Come on. Okay, we got bodacious tea, we got taxi dearie, we got stiletta, okay. Feefei Nix. Oh, really?

Feefe Nix, you know, if I flame up, I'm gonna set these wings of blade. Oh, like fire fire. Yeah, look at, it's getting a little harder in here, you know. Oh, Flimio, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's ironic. It's ironic.

It's ironic. It's ironic. Oh, my gosh. If you, if you like, If you lie up with those feathers, you're going to look like a brilliant phoenix. Okay, now this is we all just doing this ironically and feel as weird about it. Thorpec isn't enjoying this at all. We just want to dance.

We're sitting a dancer around here. This is your day. You got a few options here. We got, we can do the snail racing. I pulled them out. We got snail racing. We got the mystery mine. Ooh, very mysterious.

We got the Pix of Kingdom. Spence, Spence, Spence. We got Bobopop's teapot. That's about all. We're not going to go north in case we went under that pixie, all right? So we're going to stay out here. It's outside of the carnival.

That's for the best. Well, have you guys been to the Pixie Kingdom yet? It sounds like they might throw a good party. Let's do it. I'll mention I love unicorns. Let's continue. Duly noted. You make your way out of the carnival or out of the big top

And you you make your way down towards the southern side of the carnival This is your first time being in this area of the carnival And your This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon Become a patron today at patreon.com Legends of Aventris And gain access to tons of exclusive perks Including a monthly movie night

and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crooked Moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. You have just left the Big Top, and you're making your way towards the Pixie Kingdom. This is the first time you've been on this side of the carnival, and you're surprised by the differences. Whereas the other half of the carnival, the thoroughfare was lined with different sweet shops and, like, food stands and things.

What you find on this side is actually quite different. You find quite a few small stalls that contain different snacks and things, blue frosted cupcakes, candied apples on a stick, euphoria cookies. Bosser-sized cookies dusted with particles of fairy dragon euphoria gas. Evening berry wine, a sweet non-alcoholic drink. Fairy bell nectar harvested from fairy bell flowers. Pixie tarts, powdered candy in little cups. Sugar glazed button mushrooms. With a caution may cause hypnosis.

Tree sap lollipops. The rest of the stalls offer games. Each one at the cost of one ticket punch, but there are things such as Almaraj Ring Toss, Catch the Dragon by the Tail, gnome poetry contest, goblin wrestling, guess the number of feathers, and outstair the Cyclops.

Oh shit, they got games. Okay, gosh night, game night. Again, you think they're as Rick as the ones you made? Nah, it could possibly be that. They don't charge for ice here, crammer. I think they're probably not rigged. That's what I'm thinking.

I can recognize a rig game from pretty far away. Maybe we do a little bit of inspected for the next time we resurrect the carnival. Get some ideas. Yeah, see how it's going. I mean, we got to get ourselves a sideclubs, obviously. Sobeck, may we, uh, sidebar here? Yes, uh, I didn't mean to overhear. Uh, Torbeck didn't mean to over here, but, uh,

Mr. Cremie, if you do get the carnival back together, please keep Torbeck in mind for gainful employment. employment. Well, you never broke your back fixing the Harris wheel. Is that what you call it? The Harris wheel that get designed. I mean... And the rides didn't have seatbelts, so when the people got thrown out of them, you'd climb those trees pretty well. You get them right back down. As you're having this conversation, you hear, Mom, why is his butt out? Oh, Lisa, don't look. Yeah, shut up, kid. Oh, can you look at his ass cheeks? The happiness meter down by one piece? As Gideon screams at this child.

off, kid? I, uh, well, okay. Torbeck will allow you to have your sign bar. Torbeck will walk over here. Oh no, you are you guys already covered it. I was going to ask Crumby once we resurrect Conevold and crew, we could, you know, invite

Torbeck back. Oh, good. Tollbeck, I'm due, I'm starting to like you. You know what the best part about you is? Torbeck can't begin to guess. You don't mind getting paid in I owe use. There's nothing better than that.

So you know what? As soon as we do, you're high. You'll be our first employee. That is a great relief off Torbeck's shoulders. We have a whole lot magical adventure to go on though in a fair while, so it might be a while. Yeah, don't wait up for us. I mean, you get a fine game from employment like right now. If you're going to be a family man and support Clementine,

Torbeck supposes Graco's ride. And if all goes well... You're as red as getting in right now. If all goes well, we'll join the fairies of court and we'll never work a day in our lives and we'll drink enchanted wine. Oh. Just have a good old time.

You know what I mean? If that happens, can Torbeck finally take off this costume, Torbeck's beginning to be able to taste his own thong. It's probably one of the better tastes you've been. Torbek is sad because Gideon's right. Play some games. Let's play some games. Don't play, guys.

Come on. Come on. You'll be playing. Okay. Once again, your choices are the Olmurage ring toss. Catch the dragon by the tail. I'm doing an Omaraj. Nome poetry contest.

I don't want to do that. Gobblein wrestling. guess the number of feathers and out stare the cyclops. Wait, what? Wait, does she say wrestler? I was just gonna say it. Amaraj! Oh my, so cute, come on, fellas!

We're gonna do the rain toss first. What the fuck is an armorice? Oh, it is a cute little bunny-like creature with Cremie, a horn. It is basically a unicorn. It is not like a unicorn. A unicorn bunny? A unicorn bunny!

That's the best kind of bunny, let's go! It is a this kind of a bunny! Oh, I cannot believe they have a horn. have one here. I have not seen one in the flesh. I've only heard of stories. Let's go. You know how we can do rest and later. Let's go. Come on. You quickly make your way in your outfits. You do get some attention from the people milling about, but most people find you quite entertaining. And outside of the child that you screamed at, it, the, you don't seem to be deterring the mood of the carnival at this point. As you're, I'm a little bitch.

Fucking kid. Fucking kid. It was Tina. Oh, y'all, Mr. Tina. Fucking kid, looking at Torbeck, handsome figure he strikes, telling him to put his ass cheeks away. This isn't the fucking fairy carnival? What the fuck's that kid even doing here?

Piece of shit. You tell him, yeah. Yeah, fuck I hate kids. Torbeck's got one night only, you know, guys' night. You know, like a kid shows up, starts mouthing on. God, I'm sorry, Tim. Put your head sheets away. Put your head sheets away.

That's all for a living. You can probably taste it. Don't back off. Doesn't that a child know, and it's just all ironic? It's just guys knife. What are we fucking drunk in a child circus in drag? What the hell is that, man? It's just ironic.

The stupid kid, where's he getting off? Or she? I don't even know anymore. Tornbeck is just happy to be included. Okay. Four foot of an oberon. toss please do we actually see them? Oh my holy fucking kidding you going off.

That doesn't sound like it was beautiful. That was beautiful. Oh, listen. You don't need therapy even, kidding? It's just scars not. I'm sure you don't have any unresolved disjue with your own parents. So you make your way to the Amaraj Ring Toss. Okay.

I love her. Make your way to the Amaraj Ring Toss, and you see this beautiful stall where at the very center of it, you do see this really adorable chestnut brown bunny sitting perched on top of a countertop. It's beautiful gold spiraled horn pointing straight up to the sky. It's little eyes, just absolutely freaking adorable.

I'm just going to show you what this looks like. Sorry. Oh, it's not a real one. Wait, is it, would you classify it as an animal? Yeah, it's a real way. It's ugly. I hate it. It's not a man. It's real.

It's real. I think. Yeah, you hate that animal? Oh, my God. Well, I hate all animals and cats. Yeah, it's a monster. I mean, if you look, it's not an animal? Well, I mean, it depends on how you define animal.

I don't know. How do you think the people will define animals? When you get horribly cursed, they hate animals. Oh. I forgot you used to add that. I said to remember which ones you had held over from last week. And my skin is pink. Oh, you really are.

Befine. Yes, I am. Yes, you are. I am. I totally am. Well, even though they're not real amarages, they look. Oh, man, that is a great carving. I wonder here to do that.

No, it's a real amara. Oh, my goodness. Oh, they're so beautiful and how beautiful and cute they are. And as you make your way up to it, you see a small female gob female goblin. Hi, welcome to the Amaraj Ring Toss. This amourage is no mirage, adorn its horn with two or three rings to win a prize. I said, I would like to try, please.

Oh, that's right. Not guys like. Of course not. This is a joke. He's really, hello. This is just a joke. But you're first up for the ring tost. Look how cute they are.

This ammarage is no mirage. A Dorian is horned with two or three rings to win a prize. Oh, all right. Well, do we have to get our tickets bunch? Yeah, yeah, it's one punch per toss. You're all playing? Yeah, we're all playing.

It's gosh now. We all gotta play all the game, you know? Torbeck didn't realize that there might be a limit to the fun. Oh, we'll just get, we'll just buy more. We guess that you can buy more. We don't really know. Oh, this feels Torbeck with existential dread. We still have seven more, right?

Torbeck's not so short. Why don't you're trying to do it? I don't take it right now. It's going to consume my winchance. We lost Torbeck. Oh, the big girl. Oh, God, it's that little. Scavapha.

It's scapefo. I have a, as Torbeck has a deep horrible feeling. He's made a great mistake. You one of those adventurers who just stop pours all the potions and never use as a one because you think that you're gonna have to save it for later. It's an analog to Torbeck's life.

Or maybe that means you should take more risks. Anyways. This al-marage is no mirage. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Adorn its horn with two or three rings to win a prize. Okay, how do we play? Oh, here are your three rings,

and she hands each of you a set of three rounds. All right. Do you see my ears? Did you see my ears? Duh. Okay. You'll toss the rings, and if you get two or three rings,

you win a prize. Torrek is ready. I look at the rings. How do you think this is rig? What do you think? Well, the problem not using the ring. the monkey on. So remember how at our carnival,

we made the rings very slightly elliptical shape and the pegs very slightly elliptical shape and it's ever so slightly wider than the rings. So it was absolutely possible to have a good one on. It's just good design. Exactly right. It's a good design philosophy. They never landed. Well, let's see.

Let's see. I think this is big enough to land on that cute little. And as, and as you get the rings, all of your. are fake curses fade away from you as you all sober up. What the fuck am I?

Wait a minute. Oh, Tormac is sad again. Oh, look down. It's where your, where your hog had been, it's now just a, like, flastic sack of... Derry. Derek would do good.

It's not a dog. Yay. See, I can replace Derek. You're gonna watch your ass, buddy. I'm coming for you. I'm coming for your job. Fuck. Let me just clunk.

Just tuck it all back. Come on. Oh, my. Okay. So all the ones from last time, from last session? Yeah, so you're no longer pink, you're no longer, you know, or kids and animals. It's just a prank. Just ironic.

It's just a guy's a night. It's all right. I'm gonna fake hers. No, the outfits are not. That was the alcohol. Yeah, yeah, well. I miss my egg. You're gonna have to go one at a time.

And Tormac is ready to go. Okay. It's his last not. Go ahead and step up towards the Amaraj. Get your toes at the line, but no further. Toss one ring first, then the neck. Then the next.

One ring gets you nothing. Two gets you one prize. Three gets you two. Oh. All right. Here we go. And Torbeck will attempt to throw the first one. A roll a dexterity check for me, please. So just add my...

Oh, here comes Bodacious T. Look at this. Oh, in true Torbeck fashion. Torbeck gets an eight. Wow, that's really sad. You didn't even get close to the Almaraj. Go ahead and throw the next one. Torbeck knows and throws the next one.

Oh, I'm Tobik. A 24. Oh. Oh my God. You were able to hit the Almaraj in the head with that very heavy metal ring. It probably has a concussion now, but you'll get one prize. Nice work. What is Torbeck done?

Oh, you may have killed it, but... No, no, no. We can't kill these things. Oh, yeah. No, that was bad. Well, it's sturdy. It's been hit in the face a lot today. Go ahead and throw your next ring.

Torbeck is done with this. And throws the last one. 16. Oh, that sucks. So close, but it bounced off. One rule on the prize. table though if you'd like to win something roll a d-8 oh well I suppose oh you only got one yeah you can get anything oh I'm sorry I'm actually kidding this is very torrent

this is really sad to say but you win nothing who's next wait are you sure what I mean is gas now can you at least be smart prize come on let me think no who's Tormac just doing Tormac things. And all you hear is the clicking of my heels as I walk away from the booth. And I stand behind Giroika and I'm just like towering over him in my head. It's about at this point that you hear a loud,

wailing cry and the entire mood of the carnival drops by one. Oh, gosh. Weas are falling out. I want you all to roll an intelligent, no, a perception check. That's a little better. Yeah, perception's fine, even if it's not right. Perception, you say. 25, do the trick, dungeon master.

Another match for 20. Plus four is a 24. 16. Torbeck is wallowing in grief with an ape. Grico, Cremie, it takes a moment, but it becomes very clear that this is, you're surprised by the noise that this pixie can clearly make. It has been about 20 minutes since Zorbeck left and never showed up to the spot at the north. And she is crying and wailing in sadness as she's been stood up. Oh, no.

Well, that's probably nobody of relevance. Let's keep playing. Yeah, no. Oh, gosh not. God's not. Oh, gosh, not. Zorbeck doesn't even hear it. He is completely imperceptive.

Who's next? I mean, Tollbeck? Torback. I don't remember the name is. Oh, no, lurky. Oh, yeah, lurky. This all mirage is no mirage. Okay, okay.

A torn and torn with two or three rings to win a prize. Keep walking it back. All right, I'm up. Alright, I'm not throwing. Oh, dexterity. Check. Just plus just straight decks. Alright, I got a five. You got a five?

Yeah. That is unfortunate. For someone as strong as you are, you are unable to get the ring even close to the Almaraj. Well, I just, you know, I missed a little bit. Just over there, but I'm just warming up, okay? Wow, come on, Gia, you're better than this. 10. There's really no point in you even throwing the third one. I'm gonna throw the third one.

At this point, you can't even win a prize. Well, I landed the third one, so. How do you know? I don't actually. Well, maybe I'm looking with my eyes, but 20? Wow, you were able to land the third ring. What a shame that you can't win a prize, and you just wasted all of her time.

Well, how about this though? Hey, you still got one, Gideon? Lurkey won, one. What if we combine that to a two, you let him roll on the prize table? All right, that's a two. That's a two. Guys not.

Come on. No. All right. I'm gonna win us a couple of guys. Okay, Kremi, you're up. Arbikina, here we go. You love unicorns and unicorn bunnies are very similar. All right.

I want to throw them all three kind of like quickly in succession I'll just roll all three. Go ahead and throw your first, second, third, go ahead and throw them all at the same time. Sure, that's gonna work out well for you. Hold up, hold up. Let's do one more right here.

That's pretty good. Did I redeem us? Let's see, Dex, you say. That is a 21, a 16, and a 20. Wow, you are able to get two rings on to to the armage by throwing them all at the same time. I think that might be cheating, but I don't really wanna look.

So congratulations. Yeah, it'll tell you enough. You get this prize. Go ahead and roll a D8. Hey, oh, hey, got it. It would figure that Mr. Cremie, the smartest person I know would succeed. Oh, Staletta.

The three. Oh my yes, Staletta. Oh. Wow, this is so exciting for you. You have won a packet of pixie dust. This is a wondrous item and uncommon. As an action, you can sprinkle this dust on yourself or another creature you can see within five feet of you. The recipient gains a flying speed of 30 feet and the ability to hover for one minute. If the creature is airborne when this effect ends, it falls safely to the ground. ground, taking no damage and landing on its feet. A small packet holds enough pixie dust for one use. Wait, I can only use it one time? Yes. I think it's a D&D beyond? Yes, because we own witchlight and D&D beyond. Hey, I got it. Pixie does. Oh my goodness. Okay, you cute little armorrhages. I hope I don't give you concussions. I'm going to try to throw it as likely as possible.

Who's next? This is all This almarage is no maraud. Dorn its horn with two or three to win a prize. Okay. Gosh, if only hoot she was here

Oh yeah, what have happened? I still have a pumpkin, by the way. I'll just, if they only go to roll plate it. Okay. One, two, three. Three. You know what, I'm not gonna twist. Graco pull the tour back.

It's a nine. Wow. How funny. The weird petrified mouse wasn't able to get the ring on the unicorn bunny. I'm a weird petrified sexy run. Let's give it another shot you. Okay, here we go. 17?

Wow, just barely. It clipped the horn and could have easily fallen off, but instead it spun around and landed. Congratulations. What a mix of emotions from our wonderfully

accelerating narrator. Okay, Ricko, don't mess up the last one. Okay, that's what we're speaking to her and dog, okay, I'm gonna do a little, I'm gonna do a little bit of, Okay.

Whoa. Uh-oh. Torbexianus. What's my heart. Oh, horrible. Wow. You missed. Who would have thought?

We're all surprised. Aw. Thanks for playing. Enjoy the witch-like carnival. Bye-bye now. Well, okay. Well, that was fun. At least one of us.

One of us, that was skilled to get a ride. Oh, this is felt to see some cute omarages. Guys night out is less fun when you're sober. I feel like to a silly pal. Wow. The irony is quickly melting. You'll see a... Oh, God.

It's still ironic. It's still ironic. I do feel this is a little tight. And I'm starting to become untucked. Yeah, tonight's Adventress and Chill is actually called Adventress Untouched. I love that. You'll see a flash of blue, and then a blue glowing spirit al-Mirage

will be where I was. Come on, Gary, Grigo, is that you? Oh man, look at how cute you are. I love unicorns. And I love unicorn rabbits and I love unicorn goblin rabbits. Do you have any like stuffed of those things? Can I buy one? You cannot buy one.

You have to win. Would you like to punch your ticket for another chance? You're saying I can win a stuffed animal that looks like one of those things? Yes. Please. You can't. Don't let her.

How many punches do you have? I got two left. Look, all I need is one more. You have to be careful. Same strategy again. Oh, fuck. A 19, a 13 and a six. You're able to get one of the rings on top of the al-Marage,

and she looks down and says, wow, how anti-climactic. You went from winning once to winning, not at all. I wasted my pun. Thank you for your time. Goodbye. My ears will go back. That's one of the cutest things

Torbeck has ever seen. And so, wait, what are the consequences if I steal one? You get sucked to hell. That's pretty good, Gideon. What world do you live in? Well, I mean, we saw the gnome guy gets sucked to hell through a mirror my pig.

Did he enjoy it? Well, actually, kind of looked like it did. Yeah, but... Tormack doesn't see the problem here. I didn't hear him complaining, you know what? You are making a strong point. Let's steal one of those unicorns to get sucked to hell through a mirror. Oh, maybe find Hootsie. Maybe this is how we get Hootsie back.

So you wanna get sucked to hell, don't you? Who doesn't? Look, you're one of the stealthiest fellas I've ever met. Why don't you steal one of those beautiful flushed and unicorn of veins? I'll shift back into Grico form. What could possibly go wrong? You could not get sucked to hell.

And I will guarantee... I can hear everything you're saying. If you really want to stuff Amaraj, they are one of the prizes available at every single one of the game booths. you roll on the same table no matter what game you play. Hot dog! Wow, boy, we can win that wrestling one pretty easily.

Or, worst case scenario, we steal from someone who didn't hear Torbeck's playing. I mean, have you seen Torbeck steal? He's very good. That is, right. Oh, we're not gonna come back under cover of darkness. Don't worry. No, no, no. No.

It was very nice. We appreciate your energetic commentary. Goodbye, cute little Amaraj. is goodbye. Uncle Bricko will miss you. Can I pet one? You can ask it and see if it will jump to you. Oh, me on to.

Can I just give you a little pet, little unicorn bunny? Roll an animal handling check. Oh, fuck. Not persuasion? I'm persuading this. Oh, I will say you can roll at advantage because you are genuinely entranced by it.

It's wisdom, right? That's 13. Yeah. You look and you see that it, It bats its fluffy eyelashes and you see that it starts to tap its little toes and then it quickly jumps into your arms and starts snuggling into you. Oh, can I'll pet one too? What's your name, fella? It chirps. Oh, mimimim will. Oh, that's another game.

Oh, mimimim will. Oh, my, me, mim, m'em, will. Is that sure for Mimimimim William? Pretty good. Oh, me to meet me, me, me, real. Oh, can I call you me, me, me, me, bill. I got a frog. Ow! Throw what?

A ring will hit my, uh, going towards the horn. Oh, did you throw a ring at him? Yeah. It's just a long-to-bring. I was just a wanting, I thought it was just a long-to-gring. I threw a ring at him, you know. But you're lucky you didn't die. Oh.

You drop the amourage on the ground, it dies? No, I would have held him. I'm just kidding. No, I would have let my whole hand break before I dropped this on my. I'm sorry, Mimi. At least it didn't hit you, Me, Me, Me, Me, William. He's free. Back to your imprisonment.

It hops back onto the counter and then jumps back over to its spot. I'm glad I brought Fotipew. We'll save you. Beammy, Me, Will. All right, let's play the Warrley Live Strengths. From now on, how we're all going to do everything? Well, just based on how that went,

Torbeck thinks that was probably Torbeck's best chance. Arms, I'm surprised you. How do you just reach out your giant arms, just drop it onto the armarage? Tick Beck is now painfully aware of how freakishly long his own fingers are. You just extended your arm and just dropped it very daintily. One of the rules was not to go past the line.

But your arm could go bicycle. You're just toes can. With your feet. Yeah. Do you realize that you are able to reach 10 feet? Torback relies. Yeah, you actually could have just. Do you're back relies on Mr. Cremie for the idea?

Well, that's a fair point. He's a good follower. Like he said, he's not a leader. Okay. What's our next game for God's not? Game not. Game not. Look, I told me we do wrestling next.

Yeah, let's go wrestling. Oh, you know what they call it. It's not just wrestling. It's a goblin restaurant. It's a goblin restaurant. So your day's on number, Feefinex. Okay. Taxi germany is coming for you, Feefeevina.

Yeah, okay, taxi. Okay, Feefei. We're gonna see... Torbeck would buy a ticket to that show. I brought so much of that, uh, that process slot that they feeded the staff thing. There's so much soil oil all over made. I think it's... It's in a mud pit.

I think it's gonna come straight off. Yeah, we just jump. Oh, I'm on a degree stump. Squeak, squeak. How serendipidous. You made your way to the goblin wrestling area and you see that there is a very tall and very buffed goblin standing on a barrel

as he's calling out, strong folks, test your medal in a goblin wrestling game. Oh, look out. You're looking to play? We all are, the four of us is guys. All right, pass me your attention. And he punches all of your tickets. You punch them yourselves.

Oh, wait, I don't know about. Come on, come on. Come on, Toll. The rules are as follows. You are introduced to them. A small participant has to pin one goblin. While a medium participant has to pin one goblin while also wrestling two goblins.

Winning the game requires a successful athletics check contested by the goblin. Two goblins working together make one check with a advantage. Oh, oh. What if you're a large creature? Are you large? He can be.

He could be. And this big fella needs three goblins and take him down. Oh, who said that? I hate your right. What a very austere observation. Certain parts of Gideon are very large. Yeah, most of me. Who is first?

Well, I think I'll show you guys how it's done. All right, everyone, gather around. We have the one and only cake chad. In the head corner, we have cake chad against Gloribus, Glingus, Pinguis, Dingus, and Mingus. Oh, that's six of Orbus, Pinguish, Dengas, and Mingus, and Among them? Very classic, goblin. Well, five goblins.

That's six. No, that was five. Didn't you have an uncle named Gwarbo? No, I did. Remember when you came to visit Uncle Goldberg? I hope he's doing well. What do you mean? You know that list that you're...

Anyway, we'll talk about Uncle Glopode. Oh, no. Things can't get worse. Warboes, dad. Everything Torbeck touches turns to shit. Anyone can add quotes, by the way. Who can add quotes? Jesus.

I have to wrestle five goblets. Yeah, so with that, I need you to make a strength, Jack. These are horrible odds. Oh, let's have that next contest. For them. I get it. Do you have a walking, talking on you? You're going to need to call the first aid.

But not for me. I have Rocky talkies over there, you see? All right, I rolled for them. All right, well. You roll one athletics check. If I'm going to show five goblins how it's done, I'm going to give them a little bit of the action. And I'm going to gear up my flame powers just a bit.

There's certainly no way this can go wrong. Yeah, I mean boo! Go go goblins! What am I wrong, athletics or just straight? Athletics. Yeah. Wait, are you a vanished? No, you are.

Oh, you are. 22. Nice. It's a tie. So we resolve a time by re-rolling. Oh, just sacked goblins and who's the win? I don't know.

Are they all in each other shoulders? Yeah. Staggne. It's like playing chicken. I just grab all the top. He's got his arms on my shoulders. You're going down, you stack a gob and scum. Yeah.

Get in the down. It's one. It's the pygmies from all the webcraft. It's the . Oh, my God. That's why you got advantage. Should you taste it? I don't want to beat the stack.

Yeah. Roll a demon for me, please. That was something I was 27. Okay. Huh. They'd be like a wiggler from Mario. Yeah. They'd be like a wiggler from Mario.

Yeah. It is a good for Mario. You punched the segments. Yeah. I want you. Well, Derek's not here. hear. You may wonder

you can hear with a supernatural precision. So much so that you can hear into the veil. Mikey, can you be chuckles for me again? I rolled a 25 my strength check. My athletics check.

I can hear you're goblin hearts beat. You're going to, oh God. This many greased of Goblins since Rush Week at Clown Cull. Really killed that other. And you are able to, in your rage, hearing Chockel's voice, you are able to wrestle these goblins to the ground because you were able to take out

five of them when they were able to roll twice at advantage, you get to roll twice on the prize, the prize table. Oh, yeah. It's D-8s. Torback always knew Gideon could win. Two. Okay. An eight.

Come on, please. For your two, you win a wooden wand with eight charges. As an action, you can expend one of the wand's charges to cast the prostitution candrip. This wand can't be recharged. As an eight, you get a stuffed Almoraj plushy. Yeah! Oh, Gideon, Torbeck has seen that wand before.

Clementine owns one. Oh, what a cardboard cutout? with a with a wand. It moves around a lot and makes noises. She's excited by this? Oh my God. Torbeck isn't sure. Yeah, you don't recognize the look.

Yeah, I told you, I told me, you're gone on a very, congratulations. You know you had, you had, I finally got there. He is better than. I'm gonna love this Mirage plushy. How about you just, Crummy, enjoy it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, that's for you, buddy. This is a gift in season where at the carnival. Oh, that's very nice of you. I'm in the spirit. You know, I'm covered in the blood of goblins and wrestling and sweat.

You attuned to this cursed item. I'm just kidding, it's not a curse item. The curse activates when given it the purest spot. The horn is capable of casting the minor illusion can trip three times a day. Oh, wow. Yeah, this is the most gracious thing you've ever done and you've done a lot of things for me.

How can I, can I, you want to trade for? When you squeeze it, it makes the squeaky noises. The, what, what was that, William? What was it, William? Be will. Beem, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, will them. Oh, my god. Get you a man that fights five goblins and wins you a hootchy.

That's true. That's incredible. Oh, she goes me, me, boo. And she's even got a magical unicorn horn. Oh, it does have a magical unicorn horn. Gosh, I wish I could give that to Hootsy if she wasn't stolen by witches from hags for me. Well, I mean, you can get your wrong, I want to give it to her, but I'm not going to do this one. Maybe there's one that I can be...

Yeah, I mean, we might not ever even see her again. And she's, you know, snagged up by witches, so she might not even have any. What's the difference? Yeah, that's fair. Could be hags, yeah, yeah. Tormec is ashamed to admit for a brief moment he thought Gideon was giving Torbeck the plush. And who is up next to fight with the goblins? Do we have Cremie LeCrew, Grico Grimgren, or Turkey Lurkey?

Oh, it's Torbeck. Moreback. You know, Gideon. Turkey lurky is up next in the Blue Corner against Zongo. What's the point. No. Okay. There may be blood all over you, Gideon.

But their open wounds is the least of their worries. With my ghost eyes, I can see they have the silent menace of ginger virus. They shouldn't have lied to their dentist about. Oh my god, Chuggles, you know what's ironic is you wanted to go into taxidermy, my friend here is dressed and named as taxidermy, and I still don't understand the goddamn word you say. What are you talking to? I'm talking to Chuckles. Yeah, I mean, yeah, well, I can hear them. I can also hear into your soul.

What? Yeah, I can hear, I don't know, the innards of your soul. I mean, it sounds kind of like, ooh. Oh, that's a good. Well, he's talking like a little of a phone would sound like. Yeah. What does that like? Oh, I'm in the jazz.

Yeah, I'm in his jazz. We're like to stare at ass going digging in the ears. It sounds like. It's kind of depressing. And then there's also all the whales and the ginger vitus from those guys. He's got drowned it out. So I don't know if maybe I'm just not picking up on yours quite clearly enough. Oh, that's fair.

Yeah, I don't know. Something's going on. There's a pixie out there crying since 15 minutes. Those should be done for. Oh, Torbeck has to go wrestle. I jump in the pit. You jump in the pit. Hey, it's cool big.

You are, you have me too. I mean lurking. You are up against two goblins. I have a very long arm, so I'd like to try to use that to like. Bodacious team. Before they can get to me. I would say you can roll advantage as well. Thank you.

Is it just athletics? Yes, athletics. Oh, Torbeck is proficient. Which is a 19. You, oddly enough, you get in and you shamble over and with your two arms, you just knock them together, knock them out, and then fall on top of them. Torbeck had a lot of pent-up feelings.

Torbeck might have gone too hard. You do notice that one of them is bleeding out of their ears. Oh, uh-oh. Torbeck's coming back now. and I'll just like climb out of the pit. Hey, don't worry, buddy, they got taffy for that. You hear of, wee, weo, weo, weo, as like a small ambulance of candy striper pixies comes up and on a stretcher, they pull out bongo, bingo, bingo.

Bingo and bongo. What is Torbeck done? Torbeck will never get gainful employment with a rap sheet. But you are able to roll in the prize table. Hooray. Torbeck got a two. You also get a prostitigitation wand.

Oh, no, it's gift for Kement to him. Yeah, you can finally satisfy. The old one was getting a little used up. Up down to almost nothing. Finally show his face back home.

It means he even funny if this is a fucking cardboard cut out. Oh no, Torbeck's white. is real. You know, I was filled with emotions and I decided to drown them in whiskey thours and plates of walnut brownies.

I gotta stop accidentally killing clowns. Because then they haunt me and they said really depressing things. Are you sure this is like actually chuckles? It might be all on your head. I mean, it could be klutzy. See? This is becoming kind of like a rap sheet of actually I have a clown kill count written out of my little book here. You know, it could be either one of them.

I don't really know what Glutzy sounded like. I come to 600 yards and went with a meatball for God's sake. Clutsey is here. Oh, no. You will know his voice soon. Oh, his wrath even more intimately. Well, I'm not worried about his rat because he dropped like a house of cards. All right there, hit my damn meatball.

By striking him down, his clown powers became more powerful than he could even imagine, Gideon. In death, we are one. In death, we are strong. In death, we are the honged legion. Stop. Are you feeling that all?

I'm sitting there. Hang on, nobody talk to me. Let's just stop Latin. Okay. Good. Chopotiocese! And for taxidermy to go gobbow or garbo. And next we have taxi dermy, uh, going against Jim.

Chris go all over you. How you doing? Oh hey Greco, what's up, man? Rules. I don't know I'm going to get a cool prize. What are you wearing, buddy? Last a bear. Guys, no, you know what it is, Jim. You know how it is, Tim. He taps you on the back.

Yeah, I do. Yeah, it always is hot. ironic. It's a joke. It's jokes. I've been there, I've had my guys night. Yeah, guys night. You know me, Jim. I'm a party animal. They call me party animal Jim. Oh, yeah. Well, maybe, maybe I'm going to meet up with Jerry later.

Maybe if you want to call me Jim and all, you know. All's a Jiminal. Because of the subliminal messengers. Yeah, subliminal Jiminal. Yeah, anyway, do you want to wrestle? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. It's already weird enough. Let's go.

Let's go. Hey, put them in the dirt, but don't look like you enjoy it so much. He's got mud. Yes. Pin them run the mud. Five. Get him down to the ground. This is the most embarrassing thing that you have ever seen.

They're pawing at each other, but then you notice that they start trying to wrestle, but they both kind of like it. And so they're like holding on to each other a little. little inappropriately and like Jim starts rubbing Grico's back and Grico's like, huh, and eventually they just fall over and Jim just kind of gives in and lays there while Grico lays on top of it. I don't know where the Crisco begins and I end. Oh, this is just a joke. Oh, Grico, nice job on guys, nice.

Yeah, it's a gosh not. Just Jim's a little out of mine. Another good job that was. I guess it was nice. Careless whisper starts playing in the back. Roll in the price table. Would I roll D-8? A D-8, yeah.

A six? You know what that is? You watch as a, you watch as a, a fairy actually flies over to you. They're larger than pixies. with an apron on wearing a cute little a painter's cap

carrying a palette of paint with a tiny little brush and begins to apply a single application of magic face paint to you. You gain the benefit of a disguise self-spell that lasts for one hour until you choose to end it and you can turn it on whenever you want to.

Oh, disguise self in what way? It's the disguise self-spell. Oh. So the paint goes on and it makes you look like a, um, it makes you look like a mouse. Yeah, it makes you look like a mouse, but the moment she's done applying it,

it becomes invisible on your face. It is there the moment you activate it, you will have mouse face paint for one hour, but you can disguise yourself however you want to with a spell. Oh, fair enough. Oh, taxidermy wins. Texeroy wins. Yay, good job.

Good job. Yeah, we all the one. Good job. Jim slowly, like, gets up from the ground. You can see he, like, twists to hide his crotch. And it was like, and it was good to see you, Grico. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't look him in the eye.

Yeah, he doesn't look you in the eye either. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good to see you. It's good to see you, bro. Just a couple of pros being bros. Have fun in your guys night, like totally cool guys night. Completely, you know, just like platonic friends. Uh, yeah. All right, it's time to go, right?

Well, before you go, Gideon, is your taxidermied mouse of a friend single? She looks like she was from you taxidermied with the skin mounting method. You're reading about taxidermine right now. And if a mouse was freshly skinned, it's fast methodically. scraped off of the undesigned of its hide, and then rubbed with borax or cedar dust to help it dry faster. And then it's as if that enchanting mouse

was stuffed with cotton and sewn up. It's perfection. It's a magnificent mouse. She has earned the name Taxidermy. Well, if you just saw the earlier display, you would know that he is very well spoken for by Jim. And with that, we have one final contestant ready to go. One, Cremely, La Crue.

Can I get a refund on my punch? There are no punches. Get in the ring. The mood's kind of over, and I don't want to get the mud pit with two goblins if you're not. Oh, that sounds like a euphemism. You start to feel the overall mood. of the carnival start to lower as you to climb together.

Oh, my God. Oh, my kid. Oh, I got it. Yeah, yeah. I'm on to it. Let me stuff. Just make it quick, fellas. I can go out.

Oh, Kremant, you can do it. It's two incredibly buff goblins make their way in. You're used to goblins being about three-ish feet tall. They're probably about four and a half. And they look like they've been doing powerlifting since the day they were born. I probably deserve this.

Gods, I wish that for me. As you walk in, you see a hush fall over the crowd. Cremie, as tiny little body walks forward towards these goblins. In the blue corner, we've got Mr. Cremie LaCrew, dressed as a dead woman. And in the red corner, and in the red corner, we have Ma and Cho. Oh, I get it.

See my goal makeup? Isn't real... Oh, fuck. I believe they call this revenge of the carnies. Athletics for me, I'm. 11.

Oh. Just make it quick. You walk up. And you swing. his ma jumps onto Cho's head and leaps over you. They attack you from both sides and beat the living shit out of you. They don't see you like, you are swollen, you look like you've been stung by a hundred bees.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, god. You're getting jumbled by the ice climbers. It's really juggled. Oh, oh, well, that was an unfortunate match. Not all of them could be successful. somebody get him to a doctor. How bad is it, you? Oh, well, it ain't good.

How bad is it? You're gonna need to reapply your mustache. Oh, right, okay. It feels better. Let's put your hat back on, buddy. Is that good? It's gonna look asymmetrical. It does look.

You look. Scrummy. You look really nice. Um, is that supposed to be? Instead of the letter, they should call him luggage. You're so... Can't even alligator. That one was pretty good. It's not relevant to you. He wasn't talking about you.

Yeah. As long as you're talking about me, you don't know. Yeah, no, he wasn't talking about you. I think he was making a reference to something totally unrelated. Oh, yeah, but I'll tell him. Oh, who? Oh, uh, chuckles. I don't think he knew who I was.

Oh, does Gideon have imaginary friends too? No, I'm haunted by past murdered clowns, specifically. Yeah, not really friends. I didn't even know him. Sure. No, I didn't even like him, for sure. I mean, really, I didn't know him enough to have strong opinions on him. Only the really time I heard him make any noises when he was freaking out in the grass.

I'd take him away. He wouldn't stop laughing, so, you know. And the other one I told him. He was, he was, well, he was always chuckles, but then he chuckled until he died. Do you remember that? Oh, you guys told me that chuckles retire. Oh, my. Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No. No, no, he's not. Yeah. No, he's not. Yeah. I didn't have heard her.

I guess. It's gosh not. It's gosh not. It's not. And it is at this moment that you hear, you. You remember Torbeck's name. And as you turn around, you see one very angry pixie as she's looking at you. How dare you stand me up?

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