Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 60 | Queen's Gambit

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

Frost tests his mental mettle against a monarch... Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/gaCvm2MakgI?si=-w1Ob6ao6NA9eHSc

Hello everyone, welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Grico Grimgrin, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witch Lord. Here's what happened last time. The goats don't seem to register Omdipur. They are looking between all five of you. Uh, I mean, maybe we just walk past them. I mean, they're just ghosts. Yeah, there's a couple of goats.

I mean, it's weird that they have the whole, like, you know, weird hourglass pupils. But don't goats have weird pupils anyway? Like, maybe this is a weird coincidence. Dora's getting a bad vibe. When the moon obstructs the sun. creeping Lynn will come undone. And then she bows in front of you and steps to the side. Holy crack.

God, Frost is right. Oh, now you're just playing a prank. I'm not going to turn to look because you're going to put the laugh at me. No, girl, look, look, look. Oh, crammy, it really is. He really is been scooped up by an eagle. You're not going on the eagle. No, man, no, it's the craziest thing.

No, look over there, man. He tells him's a crazy big golden eagle. He's all scooped up. I mean, I don't know what happens next, but. Well, I'll be fucked. There he is. Ah! He's like, screaming.

You can hear him having fun, man. He's having a great job. Oh, but it looks like they're playing a game of, what is this, a game of Crown? Oh, no. And he walks over to it and begins to look. Not very good at Crown. I wonder who's winning.

Oh, look, there, he picks up one of the pieces. They're carved to look like little corids. And you do see that all of these essentially chest pieces are carved to look like corns. Oh, welcome to Lockbury Henge. It's nice to meet you. You find yourselves atop the plateau in the circle of standing stones.

It was here that you noticed that the, there had been activity recently. The fire had been stamped out. There were ashen footprints leading to, of these giant megaliths. And even though that is something that you had noticed, Frost and your, why can't remember his name? Omdipur, thank you.

Frost and your companion Omdipur were drawn to the game at the center of these standing stones. And it was here that your intelligence and your wit came into play, Frost, as you were able to look down at this game and see that there. there was a single winning move that could easily be played. Quickly moving the piece into play, you hear rumbling behind you as two of the stones begin to change and you see these small creatures step out from them. Their flesh looks almost stone-like in nature. They have manes of hair and big furry beards.

Their legs taper down into cloven hooves. as they begin to rush towards you, both of them looking quite happy, though one of them more so than the other, as she begins to shout out how excited she is that she won. I knew I was going to get you. I just knew it. I had one more move, and you are going to, and you lost.

I told you you're going to lose. Who's the queen, the rightful queen? That's me. And then she looks out towards all of you, and she rears back a little bit. What are you doing? Who are you? Hello. Did one of you touch our game?

I was the one who took the winning move. That was a great position that you put yourself in. It was, I'm telling you. It was a position I got myself into, and you finished the game for me, which means I owe you a trinket of my appreciation. Oh. Just one moment here, let me look. This one's a little too small.

This one's, it's medium in size. Ah, this one, this one will do. She picks up a large stone off of the ground, and she begins to move it around in her hands, and you see that it begins to shift and it begins to change. As where there had been this large rock, there is now this beautiful, gleaming star sapphire. I think this will do. Whoa. What is your name?

Oh, Argantle. It's nice to meet you. Argantle. This is most generous. Thank you. We've been playing that game for far too long. long and I don't want to say it was getting boring, but not quite as fun as a lot of the dancing and celebrations we used to have atop this hill. So it's nice to be done with it and it means

we can move on to other things. So thank you for the win, my friend. Oh, your name was. Oh yes, my name is Morning Frost. It's nice to meet you. These are my companions. It's nice to meet all. Hi. Hi. Welcome to to Lockbury Hinge. Morning. Oh, thank you for your very well, welcome. Before you say anything, You're not with the despicable Brighornock, are you? But all those guys suck! Yes, we told that they suck very much. You can see that she completely deflates, as you say this. We don't, we don't, haven't even met them, I don't think.

You have to. We definitely haven't met them. No, we haven't met them. No, no, not at all. You definitely don't want to. They're horrible creatures. We hate Briggernauts. As do we.

We're going to be saying, when we hear about Briggernauts, we say Briggino, thank you. We've never met a brignaught we like. Or ever before. Roll a persuasion check and advantage. Advantage, you say. Advantage, I say. But, I mean, probably that's something funny would say.

And Derek, you, Frost, you're looking down at this Star Saffire, and it is the most beautifully crafted gem that you've ever seen. It is pristine. You imagine that it clocks in at about a thousand gold pieces and value. But there is a magical essence to it. What had been just a mundane stone is now infused with magical property, and you feel luckier holding it in your hands. It functions as a stone of good luck, and it does not require attunement.

Oh, snap. I'm overwhelmed. So it's your worst. I will delete Trinket Star Sapphire from my inventory, and I will add Star Sapphire of good luck. Now Frost is almost as lucky as Dormack. What brings you to Lockbury Hinge? I roll a three, by the way. Thank you.

Noted. I got a blood zero, man. I thought I was chambering on a youth thing to say. You could take a curse and roll again. No, no, no, I'll keep the three. Bring a Knox. While we're traveling knots, which stands for notical miles across our galleon, would throw them into the brig.

We don't like them very much. Now, it's right. Well, for what it's worth, we don't like them very much either. Come to the center of the stones. We'll sit down and we'll have a chat. Okay. You're welcome here at Lockburyhenge. Thanks.

Thank you. What lovely stones you have. Thank you. Is there anything else besides the? No, no, just these standing stones. It's a crime. Well, there's a small fire in the middle. She lights it and it starts to warm up the space.

But aside from that, you don't see there are no homesteads. There's nothing else of interest. It's just the game of crowns that she was playing with her companion and the stones. How long were you playing your game for? Well, let me see. How long has, I don't know.

Time it starts to fade here a little bit. We haven't had a celebration. We haven't had Dunson since she looks towards Motherhorn since she made her way here. That seems like a long time. You're playing this game since before she ended up in Maddenham? Not this individual game. We've played many of them before.

We cycle through sometimes. I'm playing against him and sometimes it's someone else. What, uh, whatever kind of games do you like to play? We like games. or it's mostly his crowd. We like to dance. Okay. We like to dance too.

We like to sing. But like I said, we haven't done that since she moved in. Did she make singing and dancing illegal? No, but we like to keep ourselves hidden now because if it's not the Brighanax causing a bunch of disruption with their minds, then...

They're minds. We... They're constantly mining. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's the sound of their hammers and their chisels. and they're just going away to all hours at night.

Society has outlawed dancing. We need to have your friend Kevin Bacon come out. I was just gonna say. Kevin Bacon has gotta show up and go to up there and let her know that's just not okay. I think we turned him into Andre. How do you know about Kevin Bacon? What do you mean?

He's always talks about it, Kevin Bacon and asleep all the time. He's like, I go to Kevin Bacon. You're so for the leaps. All right, Kevin. You can come out. Can you imagine? Kevin Bacon, please join the table. Oh, my God. Okay, so wait a minute. These, these

Brigginox, not only did we think they were nasty, they're also working for Bitter End? They are. You see, they're inventors. They create things, and they have a master architect that they have working for Bitter End, making her all sorts of contraptions for a

terrible theater. Oh, that's pretty cool. No, it's nerd shit. No, it's not nerd. That sucks. No, that's all. That fucking sucks. Oh, right, I hate. We hate those Bruganox. I hate making cool stuff out of machines.

No, dang it. Dang it those Brin'auts. What's a nerd? Oh, um. Have you met me, lad, and frosty? Yes, I have. He's funny. He said, I'm sorry, I'm definitely to you.

He did. He won the game for me, actually. He was John Ryan? That's exactly right. Oh, then we love nerds. Oh, shit. Well, so they're not nerds. They are nasty, nasty brigadots.

We don't like them very much. They're more like geeks. What's the geek? Well, it's kind of like just a different side of that. They don't say like, I'll just mate you. So the term geek actually has carnival origins. Yeah, we don't talk about all geeks. Definitely not some guy we pull off the street,

get them addicted to opium, and then have them bite heads off of chickens while we charge folks dimes. Definitely not that. I wouldn't know a thing about that. Mr. Crampy, that is oddly specific. That sounds horrible. Who would do something like that? Not me. No, no, no, no way.

What's opium? Okay, totally. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that chicken head biting Dennis didn't always bite the heads of chickens? When he showed up to the conval? No. I think somebody just naturally does that?

Hey, we don't talk about Dennis. Torbeck would have done it for free. Torbeck didn't know there was opium involved. No, no, that's too expensive for you, Tollbeck. You didn't do anything for free. No, but I mean, this guy, look, the thing is, all you have to do is say, hey, I'm the... Hey, uh, chicken head button, Dennis. You bopped the heads off a few chickens, I'll give me some more dope.

I thought he was just an eccentric character. This is a quirky guy. Hold on. Hold on. What did this Dennis guy do to get free food and free drugs? Torbeck can't even get any of those things. I was one of my top earners. You ever wanted my top earners, though that?

Damn it! You know how many dives he made things. I had to do him to give him some... Imagine how many more people would have wanted to watch Torbeck eat all those chickens. Well, you know what? Told about this. If we ever make it back to the material plane and we, you know, spend the carnival back up,

you can be the geek this time. First, I find out about the cave with the moss and the lizards, and now there's chickenhead biting Dennis and Torrek didn't know about free drugs. You guys are holding down on Torback! Did you say you wanted to go back to the material plane? Well, eventually. Eventually, no, not right now.

I can help you with that if you want. Oh, how can you help with that? Well, you see, there's a, there's a, fairy prince here from the court of the spring and he's kind of stuck he had a bum deal with what's her face bitter end awful awful woman she is he promised her a year of his life and then she'd let him go home and he gave up the year and he's allowed to go home he's just he can't quite do it he's cut a light eight fey beacons, and then he could make his way home. She'll show him the way.

But every time he lights one of them, a peritone blows out the beacon, and he can't get all eight of them lit. So if you could help him with that, you could follow him home. Wow. Who's got to kill the fucking paratone, is what you're saying. Yeah. That's a lot of parents. Prince of the spring court, you say, not summer?

Oh, he's... What's a paratone? From what I've heard. A parotin wouldn't have to fly. He's not the prince, he's a prince. What? What the fuck's a peritin? A parotin?

All of their harmless creatures. These ones aren't necessarily completely harmless. They used to be mummers that used to perform up at Motherhorn. They've been turned into peritans and now they're just a bunch of thesbians. Yeah, and they crave

humanoid hearts to eat and devour. But that's, you know, I mean, we all have our own unique tastes and munchies. Yeah. Remember, Malkyird was all about. loving monsters, I'm trying to weave that back into my character.

Oh yeah, yeah, I did remember it. I'm trying to bring back my illical visual characterization a little bit again. Good job! Parents are... Do I know about parents' kids? Yeah. Oh, parents, they're quite charming. So it's a monster?

Well, yes, it's got like it's like a big bird, but you got like, well, depends on like, how much bird and how much stag there is. But it's got a big old talent and it is... And honestly, I find you are 10 feet away. They are... To those on a niche And when you see the shadow

You see the shadow of a humanoid Wait, how is Granny flying? What? And then it turns out, oh no It's the shadow of their last victim At least the peritans are no Crazy Faye Wild Peritans They might be different

They change their shadow Oh, that sounds about right Oh, it's this place is all about shadows Wait, so they're consuming shadows The people they kill or something There's a running theme! Oh no There's a running theme about shadows

Yeah You all have your shadows, right? Yep. Yeah, right. No, he's right over there. Yep, yep, there he is. She double checks, but you all clearly have your shadows. Oh, if we all had, if we were all peritence, our shadows would be fat hog.

Can you imagine changing your own shadow to someone else's shadow? Whose heart that you ate? Oh, I don't know. Hearts are a little tough. Do you imagine flying? Man? Um, yeah, not can imagine. Oh, I flew in my old mate.

Dormax flown before. I was one of that superpower. Oh man, what was you? Better in the hot air, boom, man. I think back to the eagle's name that I made very good friends with. Pete. Pete. Is that his name?

Pete. I think so. Gramee, D, still possess. They made up on the spot, so. Me good mate, Pete. We just flew together just an hour ago. Paul, it was Paul. Paul.

Paul. Yeah, because it was. Better call Paul. You know, I remember, Paul, he gave me a ride through the mountains. Paul, he gave me a taxi ride, but not to you guys. Thank you.

Whether or not he was driven by the wheel of Arru Lovetar, who's to say? No one, but he got me, oh, man, gave me a ride, and he landed, and he said, Oh, Grico, me lad, my name's Paul, that's between your hoi bush,

and he just got done, he got right out of there. You were probably thinking of his brain, Brother Pete, or Peter, and Sister Mary. Peter, no, I don't think he had any siblings.

Why don't we just use him to solve this whole fucking Faye Wild thing? What? They're not taxi services, John and Eagles. There's technically celestial in the 2024 rule set. Driven, chosen of, and driven by Rue Lovatar. Is that fucking true?

I think so. I think there's celestrians. I thought all the puns the head punch he was getting to him. I don't know what that word keeps saying is. They're not being, sir, but... So, if we were to help

the spring prince with a little parenting problem, and I don't think we need to kill this thing, after this misunderstood, would he be able to do us a little bit of a solid then? I'm not sure he'd be able to do you a bit of solid, but from what I know about the situation, it will illuminate a way to...

I don't want to say it because there's a palace named after it, but the place of your heart's desire. So for him, he wants to return home. So if you like the Faye Beacons and you want to return to somewhere special, you should be able to, it will illuminate the path directly to that place

and you should be able to make your way there. Also, it sounded like you said there was more than one Barrington. There were about eight of them in total as far as I'm aware. Oh, sweet Jesus. I think it's one for each one of the beacons. Oh my God. Eight Parenthood.

No wonder this guy's struggling. Gringo, you can't charm eight. Peritans, man. That's just wild talk, okay? Why not? Because they're all over the place. What if they're like line up in the line and we take them on an alley? You think we're going to take them on an alley in the Charmin way? No. Yeah. Everyone knows that peritans love fashionable headwear.

Really? We get them a couple. We just find eight fedoras. Oh. Oh, okay. And then we hand them out and then they'll become secret agencies. Could we maybe make a nine? Torback would like a fedora. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. Depends on how, it depends on how much. Torbek, I'll take it. Maybe he's good. Okay. I like this plan. I guess we have to kill him as a backup.

No, no, hold on. You want to kill the Spring Prince. No, no, no, no, no, no. Could we go somewhere else in case we're not ready to go back to the material plane? Like the Palace of House design. I imagine it could take you there if you wanted to go, but I would, advise against it. I'm not sure if you're aware, but there's a Jabberwock card in the place. Oh, man. Right, that whole thing.

Well, wait a second. Once we resolve the ton of parrots, how many times can we use this thing? Like, just indefinitely? Like, are we good to just go all over the place? Well, I'm not intimately familiar with it, but I would imagine that every time you like the Faye Beacons, you'd be able to head to wherever it is that your heart desires that you go. I would caution against attempting to use it on multiple occasions because the moment that

that one over there realizes it's been used I'm nodding up to motherhorns and you couldn't see where I was nodding I feel. Enderlin Moongrave. That one. If you the moment she knows you've used it

she's going to guard it again. I'm quite surprised she hasn't destroyed the beacons but I guess it's keeping her in the game with the prince So she's got to use for it now, but once he's gone, there's nothing stopping her from breaking him. Do you know the Prince's name? I don't off the top of my head now. Never met him myself. He probably is a very sad character on account of he's in a Sisyphean world where the closer he gets to his goal, the further away he is from getting home.

One can only imagine that that might be a kind of joy, though, always striving and striving. struggling to achieve the next thing and always having a goal? I feel perhaps the opposite. I feel like I fundamentally disagree with everything you just said. I feel like it would be every moment, every day that goes by you wish for death. Death that never comes for an immortal being. I mean, after I, you know, drank the milk of paradise pulling through from last episode. I knew what it was like to be a mad immortal man.

Never more shall I return escape these caves of eyes. have died on honeydew and drank the milk of paradise. It'll drive you mad. I'm so he might be as wackadoodle as a loon. Yeah, Brendan Bell, who said that one has to imagine the Sisyphus is happy, you know. Listen until you speak is quite lovely. I like the way you speak the words.

I'm not sure what you're saying. It's very nice. Oh, well, I often pulled my. No one ever really is. Oh, no one never. So see, when people self, actually, no one listens to me, I'm coming being very short, Everyone's like, oh, I'm also very short, so I understand what you mean.

See? Well, you know, it's simple, right? And if people would sit down and listen to what I'll say, they would say, wow, it's quite inshotamompho. It's just because you say things like he's got a sassafrasian kind of complex. You couldn't have said whackamolian? And you just keep saying herura to vertar over and over again. It doesn't mean anything. Good soon time.

I'm off you. Thank you. Well, I mean, you pronounce things weird kind of like she does. You know, they're playing the game of crayons, and they pronounce it crowns? God. That's very funny. Can we play crowns? We are playing crowns.

Yes, we were playing crowns. You're welcome to play a game if you'd like. How long does a game normally take? Depends on how smart you are. So fast or slow if you're smarter? Depends on how smart your opponent is. That's fair. That's fair. Could we maybe wager another one of them sapphire thing?

Oh, no, it's wager. For a game of crowns, of course. Yeah. Yes, versus your best crowns player. Well, that's me, of course. I can't say it like that. That would be a fine wager, but what would we wager on our side? Oh, I probably have some cheap crap in my bag.

What would be worth, us being five Starwood heroes from the realm beyond Prismere, what would be worth of one of your lovely gemstones? Oh, who, oh, oh. Have you ever had licorice? I've never had liquorish, no. Done, we're going to lead you some licorice. Deal? I'll give it to try.

Perfect. You're going to love it. Is it something to eat or something? Oh, all right. It's a delectable treat. From a certain point of you. From a certain point of you. It's come from the material plane. All right. Well, let's me go ahead and take, it's going to take me about five minutes to get this set up.

But I'll get to set up I was worried It's gonna be like Axis and Alley For the next eight hours Oh it is It is a game of crowns It's gonna take a long time There's gonna be much thought between moves

While we think about the tree branches of possibilities Oh, we're all the time of the world So yeah, take your time No, we don't We have quite a bit of urgency Oh, bud! We have to be three days No!

Underpool Do we feel like we could take a little bit of respite you're on a car. Oh, fuck, he's still here. Well, it's not him that knows. What do you mean? Well, fuck, he's still here. I've been here the entire time. You just snuck up on Torbeck. I've been standing there for an hour.

You're your stealthiest Dorbeck, yeah. Well, I am quite stealthy, this is true. I mean, is that what Torbeck does to people? My Torbeck is so sorry, guys. Dormack will start wearing, like, a bell or something. Yeah, it would help. That would help. I cannot speak for how much time you have,

but I have quite a bit of time on my own. all the time in the world. Okay. Except that I need to find glean. We're going to find gleam. Yes, we need to find gleam. So as soon as we... I feel like we could farm glean better

if we ally with these lovely folk. Well, it looks like you've already agreed to a game of crowns. There we go. Let's play one game. We must play the game. We're playing one game, but I have a question, Amnopor.

When we first met, you told us about a prince, I believe, of the summer court. Am I Miss for Emery? That's what I'm. I heard that he was of the Semmelkord. And the name was Lerum, correct? Yes. And this is not the same...

The story sounds very, very similar. It's almost identical. It is. They both possess the... I did not say anything about peritans in my story. No, no, no, the peritans are new. But I did mention the beacons. A lot of beacons in the world.

There's two sets of beacons. A lot of times. No, I believe there's only one. Yeah, I mean, how many fucking princes? Learum, summer. Okay. You know, one king can make a bunch of fucking mantises. Do you think the peritones have anything to do with the deep crows?

Oh, I think Gideon's right. The truly ancient deep crows? The truly ancient deep crows. No. Gringo has been talking about truly ancient deep crows the whole time, now suddenly we gotta fight giant birds, what like an ant? Peritin biology is not all related to COVID. It's, they're raptors.

It's like, it's hox, it's hox and hox. Oh, man. It's hox and deer. It's the classic, the evocating. the evoking the folklore of hunting creatures like hawks and stags. That doesn't sound right. The king stag. Oh yeah, he really was all about monsters.

You know, we're only on episode 60. We don't even think about his backstory. Well, that's why he's going to play a game of crowns, and then we're going to just forget about all... I started to tell you when I was playing a sore boy. Regardless what Griego says, Torbac believes Gideon. Torbeck thinks that Gideon's all... I'm just wondering, man, I mean, there's a lot of talk of truly ancient deep crows, and then here we show up, and suddenly it's a ton of parrots.

We're moving on to the truth of the deep coast. Oh, how do you say that's? Wait, it's just, it's not a line at all. There's, there's nothing from the truly ancient deep crows here. Why would they emerge from the truly ancient tunnels deep beneath the earth where ancient things have, have burrowed, nameless things have burrowed? Why would they rise forth with their grateful wings and six eyes and jagged mandible beaks? Oh, why wouldn't they? That's a good point.

No, don't make fun the dog in some sense. So we think the truly age of deep grower with the brigadones. You got to say, for the bigonauts, so you're a true age deep go down there. Hold on. Hold on. First of all, fuck those guys, they suck. They suck. She nods

and she's continuing to set out of the crap. I'm vi- Vi-we-all, we all believe, I feel like I'm vibing. So I'm just, I'm, I'm- I would say you don't even need to roll to notice, you are vibing. It goes over by the Stonehenge

putting out the vives. I don't say this. I've had this kind of connection since bloody toast. I'm wondering how I can turn this into a Greek describes against humanity. Just wait, just wait. those guys fucking suck and so they are a bunch of nerds

we don't have time for games and dancing and fun we are about games dancing singing fun we did a whole song and dance number in drag people cheered they loved it Garrett was there I've never met Garrett I've never met Gavin

but when we're done with this game of crowns if you'd like to dance we haven't danced upon the hinge in a long time we would love to dance upon the hensh, neath of the moonlight or sunlight. Wait, so to be her in, not storm clouds. Outlawed dancing, or did she outlaw dancing? No, she didn't

outlawed. We can... We can dance any time we want to, but... Why don't we just... Can we leave her friends behind? On the edge of the dance party? I wouldn't recommend it. No, no. All right. Well, I'll ask it out. I was just wondering. I mean, I'm happy to sit back and watch the dance. I just don't want you to

feel pressured, you know, to get out there and, you know, not necessarily have the ability. You know, you know what I'm saying? No, I mean, it's not like... You think I'm a bad dancer. No, no, I mean, you think I'm a bad dancer. You can say it.

I think you're compelled to be a bad dancer. I thought... I thought I had moves. And I'm thinking you think I'm a bad dancer. And that cuts deeper than any... Dancing is all giddy and nose. Dancing is all giddy and nose, okay? He can bust a move.

I can bust a move. You can bust a move. This is as good as he can bust a nut. Oh, my God. I'm not. Do that pretty well. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah.

From a certain point. You know those steam, man, it's always busting nuts. Oh, left and the pressure, builds up, it just builds up. And the nut butts right off, yeah. And then the whistle hits and then nuts start flying. Pressure release. But that's why every time Gideon meets ladies in the new town, they're always saying, chit-tug-tig-tig-trig-trig-trig-dick.

I feel like we're straight from... Too, too, motherfucker. That's right. You're not even technically qualified that. Anyway, no, if you remember, Remember that time that we all lost something? Hey, boomers. Remember that one time?

No. See how my eyes are gray? Do we get that stuff back? No? No, I see the color of my eyes were taken. Oh, I just always thought you had stormy gray eyes. I must have forgotten that this is. It's very striking.

It's very striking. Are you telling me I'm magically cursed and not be able to dance well? Yeah, that's why I'm bringing something out now. And I'm just saying if you can get out there and bust a move, as long as you're not self-confirmed. That's fine. I just wanted to offer you some kind of comfort. I won't take to the dance floor. You can.

I can't. Frosty. Well, you can go out there. It's just that you'll look clumsy and ungrateful. You shouldn't be ashamed if you can't dance. It's not about how well you do it. It's about the amount of heart you put into it. It's a private conversation, okay?

Well, you're having it right next to me. No, you haven't seen him. No, no, you wouldn't be saying that. He kicks his legs out and he does this. That's perfectly fine. Well, that's awful. Once a lion's known the wild, when it ends up in captivity, there's just nothing there. And if I can't dance, like I could dance before, then it's just, it's all gone.

You're starting to sound like Rico. You're just singing stuff. Quit rubbing up off on me. I don't know if this will help you, but it sounds like you lost your ability to dance before, but if you learn to dance now, that's a new ability. They can't take that away from you. You just got to practice. Whoa!

That would be the wisest thing Torbeck has ever heard in Torbeck's life. You're saying I can relearn to dance as well as I danced before. Maybe even better. Does that way, hold on. Hold on. Is that somehow counteract

as kind of the fake curse bogging thing? I mean, it depends on how the curse worked, but if they took your ability to dance, then you don't have it anymore. But if you gain a new one, they've already taken what they needed to take and this is a completely new entity. Grummy can.

learn how to not have gray eyes? Probably not. Oh, well. You could, you could have someone, you could have someone put new color into your eyes. That sounds dangerous. Gideon, the question is, can you learn? And it's worth trying. It may be that they've stolen your rhythm forever, and if that's the case, then it's a tragedy.

But if you try and you learn, as, as, uh, arguer says, bless you. then Argonty Argonthal As Argonautil says And I'm running it down this time Then perhaps you'll Have overcome this minor setback

I'm happy to give it a try But I gotta say if I struggle a whole lot I'm gonna punch Grico What? I'm just gonna be really frustrated Man I'm gonna be really frustrating I think we're like

And there's only one I'm just gonna play loud It doesn't seem like very reasonable terms If you like I'm assuming it's not a dance that you knew because have you met a corid before? No. Is that what you are? That's what I am, yes. Well, just now, yeah. But you had never met

one before today. Oh, not beforehand. Well, then, once I've bested your friend in a game of crowns, I can teach you the special chord dance, one that you didn't know before so it's not one they can take from you. And then you'll have an all new dance, all your own. Well, okay, I'll give it a try.

But if I struggle, I'm hitting greek up. You see yourself up for a big letdown kid. I'm just saying, like, Is this worth it? You know, I think we can have a pleasant conversation. On the side of the fire, you know, we can have some drinks. We can talk about why you never told me you still talk to Kevin. That sounds like a conversation I don't want to have.

I'm going to go through the dancing. That sounds kind of a struggle. I always thought that Kevin wasn't really strong God. He was always hanging around. I don't know why you always got so frustrated when he would come around in a circuit. He was always hanging out at the Strongman exhibit. He was like, ooh. I know.

He was always wearing those white t-shirts that hat. And somehow he never bathed. He smells like clean laundry. No, he never paid. I feel like there's a little bit. I don't know if there's trouble. I feel like this is important. I don't know why there's trouble.

Why is it stormy? I feel like Kevin was really strong God. Turerbeck's just getting to mine. And twice at the carnival, I remember hearing him in the distance go, yeah! Like that. Was that a tremors reference? Actually, it was both a tremors reference

and in Apollo 13 reference because it doesn't in both of those films. Oh, God. You know, I always like the invisible man. We don't know about that. No, that was good. That takes a certain spin in that one. No, but look, you know what they say?

You know, sadder still to watch it die than to have never had known it. You know, so I feel like for you to try and you've known what it feels like. Oh, I'm sorry. Such a good, good dancing, you know what I mean? I'm just saying, you can try, but... No, you convince me, I'm gonna level with you.

Had me a whiskey. So, it's okay. I'm going to dance once I've finished defeating Argentoll in the crowning competition. That's what you think. That is what I think. I'm going to wipe the floor with your ass. And if you do, it'll be my second game and it'll be a learning opportunity.

Oh, don't pretend like you've only played one game. I'm no fool. uh Frosty you've never played clown before All right Frost

listen up Okay Torbeck What was that I'm hyping you up I'm saying listen up Okay Torbber's gonna tell you something

The way you said It just threw Torbeck off I'm trying to help intimidate everyone and have to listen to you It came out like Okay As opposed to when you say Okay

No look It's an aggressive And we're standing right here. Okay, listen up. All right. Everyone was already listening, I think. You're just getting it. Torbic, say something.

Really got to throw you. Take up with yourself. Frost. Do you get back and you're taking a lot of time here, man. I mean, did he get to it? Don't get so got this. Torbeck had it in all in his head. Now Thorbeck is gone.

Torgbeck is keep Tormac. Torbeg, I really thought this was your big moment. You can do it. You can do it. Torbeck. I thought this was Torbeck's a big moment, too. I really thought this is where you're coming along. It's like, now it feels like your waist's not.

Okay. Just remember what he said. What Torbeck said. Torbeck says, Torbeck got a fortune and a fortune cookie once. Best advice Torbeck ever got said, give it up, you loser. That's it. I'll remember that. That's right.

Goal. Give it up, you loser, Frosty. up loser. Narsely done, Joe Beck. Also, Gregel, I don't think you should ever say okay like that ever again. That was weird. Everybody else heard that, right?

It was a little bit. I don't really know what you talk. Let me get you back to do it. And you just. Okay. Oh. No, that wasn't it. All right.

That's closer. Maybe this is part of you going back to old Grico, but like you went too far back like 2017. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. He had goosebumps.

I'm a terrible cross-nows show. Okay, okay. I was trying to help up my old mate, Tolbeck. Yes. He's solidarity amongst goblinants. And have everyone listen to his lovely wisdom and advice. Torbeck, thank you for the advice. I appreciate your fortune advice.

I once got a fortune that said your request for MSG has been denied. And that won't help me right now. Okay. I almost got one and said, Help, help, I'm trapped in a Fortune cookie back in a Any response? That sounds like somebody

legitimately asked How do you respond to that? I put a message in an egg roll And I threw it back In the sea It was a seat Yeah, like a

That's pretty safe That's probably the last person That person is No, same She's right of the baller She starts to dance Message in our end. Okay. Are you sufficiently hyped up, Frosty?

How are you feeling? I feel inspired? I feel good, I guess. Especially with the Star Sapphire. I'm me, I feel especially wise. I probably shouldn't interfere in this game of crayon, should I? No. All right. Are you ready? Yes.

I thought about it. All right. I will sit down on the opposing side against... You don't have to tell me you're going to do that. You can just go ahead and take a seat. I'm telling the podcast audience. What's a podcast? They need to know.

Angela, please don't do this to me. That's awesome. They're not. I'm crying. I'm tied. All right, well, we have to decide who gets to go first. Okay, how do we decide that? Well, we're both gonna roll one of these really shiny rocks I found on the ground.

It's got 20 different sides on it and you tell me what side doors lands on. All right. Oh, mine's cocked. That's cocked. He doesn't need your... He'll cheat like crazy. Like, gross. What am I at?

Is it just wrong? Okay. The first was a seven, and then because I was joking, it became a 16. So you get to the side. I get a 19. Okay. So it doesn't matter. Holy shit.

It means I get to go first. That makes sense. It's the higher value. It is, yes. I'm going to roll again and add my intelligence. Okay. Ah. I'm following along.

So far. All right, you get to go. I rolled a nine on this stone. This is probably an ability chair. I believe that, oh, is it is. Yes. And you just got a luckstone, so don't forget you add plus one. And I'm going to add my intelligence score?

That's correct. Okay, so that means that I have a 15. She looks at you and she smiles as she quickly maneuvers around and she makes it further along. You look at this move and you're like, oh, she's good. She has played for years. That is a fantastic flanking maneuver you've made. All right, it's your turn. Oh, you should call the flanking there.

Well, if I go here, then you'll probably... Yes, I definitely would. See, Frost, you know, you gotta... Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. You know what Dormag would do? You start eating the pieces. She'll never see that coming. They're made out of stone.

You think you got out of that toolback? That certainly never stopped Dormack before. You like a good piece of stone then? Yeah. All right, give me one second, and she prances away from the game, and she's almost like skipping. And she makes her way, she makes her way over towards one of the stones,

one of the megaliths, and she's looking through them and she begins to carve off a piece. And she brings it over to you. And it is this beautiful, darkened, almost porous stone. I think you'll like the taste of this one. Wow, thank you.

And for the record, Mr. Kremi. Torbeck prefers lead, but they don't put that in pencils anymore. because it's apparently dangerous. Oh, governmental regulations doing everything. It tastes delicious. You imagine that the next time you have a roll, you'll be able to roll at advantage.

Yes! I enjoy my rock snack while this game is happening. I rolled a 15 and I will... Okay, buy the Dispell Witchlight Dice because I just got a natural 20. Oh my gosh. I will... I've gotten 2 19s and a natural 20.

That's been my rolls on this. Foss will chuckle to himself and go, Hmm, give it up you, loser. And he'll take an intentionally bad move as a gambit to try and throw the game into a branch that is unplayed. Roll a deception check for me. Need some help, Frost?

Just say the word. That's going to be a 19. She's watching what you're doing And she sees you make this move. And you can see for just a second, this look of confusion flit across her face where she's been watching you play. And you've been doing really well, not as well as she is, but better than she expected. And she sees this move and it throws her off a little bit. And she goes to make her next move.

And she sees what you've done. And it's almost as if her cockiness gets the best of her. where she looks at that move and she thinks, oh, he's not as good as he thinks he is. And she makes a move that might not be ideal. And as you look down at the board, you see her mistake. Some twists. Yeah.

Oh, this will be fun. I know. Now's the time. Yeah, now's the time. I've got the spotlight. I'm feeling good. Say the word for us. That was the correct choice. There you go.

Oh, yeah. Say the word for us. This is your choice. I am going to push my curse luck, and then we'll see. If I start to fail, then Cremie has my permission to jump in. Chad just said the Beans Gambit. The Beans Gambit, yeah. That's really cute. I get a 26.

Yeah. You see her blunder in the game, and you are able to use it to your advantage. And you make a very clean move. You imagine that if she continues to stumble, This game is in the back. What did you get? I got a eight of swords. Swords, you say?

Upright, upright, upright. Upright swords. The art is just so fucking good. I'm sorry. Very good. That's with the curse porn. Hide to a sword. You feel like you have not eaten

for an entire winter season. Your hunger cannot be sated, and you'd eat practically anything. Yes! No! fucking way. Eat the pieces. Frost.

Eat the pieces. With that move, as soon as I tip over one of her pieces, it goes tumbling down because I've taken it. I immediately snatch it up, and I just sort of pop it

into the side of my mouth. I'm not chewing on it just yet, but it's like a, it's like a, not a gobstopper, more like a cigar. Like I have a chaper hanging out the side of my mouth to sort of like,

um, Yes, that was a good piece. She looks quizzically at you, but you haven't started eating the piece yet. So she's looking between what you're doing with the piece and the game itself. And she seems to be a bit confused. And the next move that she makes, you're clearly getting in her head as she makes a move that did not benefit her in any way. Oh, I will take my next move. And just before I do, I reach up and I crunch into the piece.

And I start to mindlessly eat it. I don't even notice that this is happening. She looks horrified. She is not saying this as hungry Frost. She's seeing this as a play of dominance. Almost an act of aggression. Oh, Oh, Frost go, Frost go.

I'm not even thinking about it. I'm eating Greene's. You're not even looking as you're moving these pieces around the crown board. As you chomp down on this piece, you move and you knock another one of her pieces off. And she is staring at you, frustrated. She's looking between you and the board. She now realizes she's in the danger zone. That if she doesn't make the next move correctly, this game might be lost.

No, it might me. I can't lose. Your pieces are delicious. Yeah! Another one bites the crayon piece! Yeah! Get them! Twist it. I'm gonna twist it. I got an actual one.

Twist it? I switch over to my bean dice because I'm cursed, so I'm in Bean Town, and I am going to twist it for a second curse. And I get a natural 20. Let's fucking go. Well-twisted. Well-twisted. Well-twisted. Yeah, good twists. 26.

I'm going to cut it, and I'm going to... to get an, it's not upright. Justice reversed. Reversed, it's a reversed justice. Number 11 of the. Damn it, so it would have been so great earlier. You're incredibly unlucky, you have disadvantage on every roll. Oh, shit.

Well, we can hold on to that for a while. You bite down, you pick up the piece that you had just knocked off the board and you confidently put it in your mouth, you bite down on it and three of your teeth shatter. As you bite down onto an incredibly tough piece of stone, not nearly, as you realize that, you realize that this wasn't actually one

of the pieces she was using, this was one of the pieces that you were using. Her pieces are made out of shale and yours are made out of chalk. And so as you bite down on the shale, your teeth just can't, handle the strength of it. And you break a couple of your teeth,

and it's incredibly, incredibly painful. As she- Don't want to stop you! She sees this happen, and her confidence is clearly built back up as she goes in for her next move. And she moves a piece that you would not have expected. And as you look down at the board, you realize that this piece has changed the game.

I've grown overconfident. and my teeth are broken. I need to make this next move my best. Ow. It really hurts to shatter your teeth on rock, it turns out. What? You get used to it. Keep going.

All right. Frosty, I believe in you. I look at, I scan the board, and I look to see if I can find a winning move. Roll an insight check. Oh. At disadvantage. Yep. That's not going to be good.

It's going to be a five. You look down at this board and it's a mess. But you imagine there's probably a winning move in there. It's just that those chalk pieces look so delicious. They just look so delicious. I can barely hold myself together as I reach forward and I pick up a piece that is not mine. I pick up one of the shale pieces and it's an illegal move. but I can't help myself.

I grab that shale and I stuff it into my mouth. You're breaking the rules. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It just looks so delicious. I'll put it back. The game can continue. The game can continue. I'm sorry.

Did you even put it down in the right place? Oh, yes. It was right here. It was not right there. You're going to see if you know, roll a deception check. A disadvantage. Yep. Nine.

You're lying. It was not right there. It was right here because I was going... You're not going to trick me. I'm not telling you the move I was going to make. I'm not trying to trick you. I get down hard on my teeth. Put it back where it was supposed to go. Why are you trying to eat the game pieces? What's wrong with you? I feel very hungry playing this game. It's consuming my mental energy.

Oh, trusty! Benignas! You're not you and you're hungry. Oh, I'm asked some of them. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And see, I'll map. Master, not so that you can eat them with your shattered teeth. That's very kind of you, Cricko. I feel rejuvenated.

It's 10 days worth of food in your stomach now. Call the hospital soon. All right. It's your move. I think we're very close to the end of this game, if I can tell by the board state. Natural 20. 17. I got a natural one. Oh.

She is, the bananas are spilling all over the ground. There's blood dripping out of your mouth from where your teeth have shattered. She's looking at the slobbery bloody shale piece That's now back on the board in its rightful spot And she is She is overwhelmed And as she's looking down at the board You see her eyes alight

As she realizes it doesn't matter what move she makes Because a move that you had made Two rounds previously sealed the game for you And even though you picked up that piece It didn't mean anything And as much as she wants to say You have to forfeit the game Because you touch that piece

She realizes that even if she did She didn't win because that move that you made two rounds ago was the winning move. And she looks down, you won me the game when you made your way up to Lookbury Eng. And you've bested me here fair and square, even if you are a bit of a chater.

Hey, Fluskey, you know when I've been beat. I was worried when he started eating pieces, but I knew it pulled through. You're a valiant opponent, and she reaches out and shake your hand. Oh, I shake your hand in her. But next time you're playing a game with someone, don't try and eat their pieces. That's very unlikely.

What are you even doing? That's so strange. Well, I'm affected by... If you're hungry, just let me know I'll make you a chicken. I would love some chicken. Thank you. Double of nothing. You want me to play them again?

Play them again. As long as it's double to nothing, you'll double the reward. I don't know if I'm well enough for that. No, he's feeling great. Look. Look at him. Playing these board games in this hinge affecting my mind. Frost, Torvack, you're so proud of you.

You did it perfectly. and you ate the pieces. That's Torbeck's secret move. Now, all you have to do is the next time the apparatus on your back begins to glow, and the wishlight runs through your veins. Your teeth will be as good as new and you can start eating pieces

again. Double and nothing. The right side of your face is incredibly swollen. Do you, do you feel like you're not at Fort Frosty? I'd be willing to play another game, but perhaps we can resolve it with just one role instead of But, uh, 14.

Oh, you know, even you're smart or you're lucky, but either way, Frost, you're going to crush it. Well, I feel like saying, oh, no, my half of my teeth shattered, I don't feel willing to play. Is the kind of thing, no offense, that a bitch would say, bat me out of you. Well, now you got to do it. Now you got to do it because you can't be a bitch. It is kind of a thing that a bitch would say. And you can't be a bitch.

I mean, that's just crazy. That's what we can say, give it up, you loser. Let's do this. Yeah. Eat more pieces. Are you going to use these? I go and I collect all of frosts like broken teeth if they're like on the ground.

They are. Families love this shit. She quickly resets the game board, but there are three missing pieces. And so she moves towards the megaliths and carves off a bit of the, the shale and the chalk and she very quickly carves

new pieces and puts them on the board. I actually... This has been so fun. I've been... I actually have a trinket, a chess piece of a dancing sater. If you wouldn't mind, I think it would be suitable for that position right there. If you'd like to use it, of course. I'm not going to prevent

you from using your own pace. Bring his own game. I mean, come on. And then for the sake of this game, we're just going to We're just gonna roll best of three. Best of three. Okay. Paper circles.

I scan the words of my, and I'm at disadvantage still. You are. You can always twist. You can always use a twist. That's a nightmare. Use that one twist. I could.

It's best of three. It's best of three. It's best of three, use a twist. You need to win two. That's fair. Advantage early on would be. You just roll one more die. You undo your disadvantage.

Galaxy brain here, folks. I have a seven. I will make another twist. I will. So we'll just, I'll mark down. So you're using one twist for the first one. And then I will do the twists after we determine the winner. Thank you.

Dore doesn't remember. I kind of, yeah. Natural point. What was, that was, that's your role for the first one? Yeah, for the first one, I get a 26. Okay. Next roll? Yeah, I don't remember what the train got.

Completed. The next one is going to be a, 16. Sorry, 14. You got a 24. You got a 14. 14.

14. 14. I want to do that. I want to do that. You got to stop. Frosty, if you, let them play. I'm flipping back and forth. If you,

ah, ah, ah, are you keeping that role? I'm going to keep, I'm going to keep that role. Frost has got one boot and gravy and the other little banana pee.

What a play. Did you twist last time? Don't you have to pull a. We're doing it out. We're doing it out. We're just going to. We're just going to. to figure out what the game state is.

I need a new D20. We're gonna resolve the game. I'm gonna pull the card. Uh-oh. Yeah, big uh-oh. All right, I'm gonna have to twist the second time. You have to twist the second time. God do it.

Okay, there it is, 21. Well, she might be proficient in this game. I imagine she might be double proficient. You watch as she sets up the game. And then it's completely silent as you and Argonautil lock eyes and you lock in. And even though you're not feeling lucky,

you know this game. You have won tournaments in this game. You have watched major images about this game. And you feel confident. You lose a 0.03 chance to win with this game. As she makes a move, you can see where her mind's going, but then she does something that you don't expect. He's doing it.

He's doing it. It reverses what you expected to happen, and you're not really sure how to play it. You feel chaotic, you feel random. You just make a choice and hope that it works, and it catches her off guard. But she responds. And this game lasts for 15 minutes.

It's not that long. Chasing each other around. But you are moving and watching everything that you're doing. The two of them seem to hear nothing that's happening outside of this. game and then finally you made the mood. He's trying to do it. And she looks up at you and she smiles.

You all watch as the smug look appears on her face. She reaches out a hand to you and she says, Congratulations. You're damn good at this game, Morn and Fruls. She shakes your hand, she clapped you on the back and she said, you may not be a chord but you're an honorary member of my clan after a game like that. Oh, thank you, Orgonty. Thank you, Orgontile.

It's pleasure. And I need you pull two cards. Yeah. As she smacks you on the back, you feel your mind rattle. And this game has taxed you. It's taken all of your mental energy. And you are unable to stem off the flow of Fay magics. It seems to be swirling around you at this altitude.

I, yeah, this focus point of the hinge is really affecting me as I get both upright the hermit and the, the knight of wands. So you are unlucky. Yep. You are incredibly... I'm hungry. Hungry.

And you feel your personality split in two. A dark and evil version of yourself wrestles for control over your mind. You're turning into torquess. Curses for torment. And then what's the other one? Night of Wands. Night of Wands.

In the night of Wands. Both of them are upright. Yeah, okay. You believe the sky is filled with thousands of vicious and aggressive swarms of birds. The deep... The deep... The deep...

...the deep... ...the... ...I'm incredibly incredible... proud of you. I cannot believe someone who's not Corrid made is able to play crowns in such a way and best...

The Queen of the Clan. It's truly impressive. Oh, Steve. He's a genius. That's all we keep you... You got it. And with that, it looks like I owe you two... Two more gems.

Stones. And so she... Don't know of them. She looks around. She looks around. Run the back, Rose. We're gonna be friends. Fuck off, Kremie. Oh!

Whoa! Whoa! Well, I'll let you fight about it while I go make your reward. And she runs off and she looks for rocks that she believes will be suitable for your prize. While we're waiting, can Torbeck see the first beautiful rock? Is that one that I have here in my pack? Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely not.

No. It was beautiful. Tourmet just wants to see it. We're trying to celebrate for us. I don't like the way you say that. It's mine and I need it in case I need to trade for food, given the coming deep crow problem. What?

They're coming back? They're doing what? Oh, they're coming back. They're doing what? Deep crows are doing what? Truly ancient deep crows are coming back? You look up the sky and it had been gray with storm clouds, but it is now black

with thousands. of truly ancient deep crows as they swarm overhead. It's only a matter of time before they come down. Can't you see how many of them, the multitudinous? What are you talking about, man? They're up there. They're coming! They're in the sky all around us.

Look it with your eyes. Look at your eyes. Are you not seeing what I'm seeing right now? I'm looking with my eyes! Oh my God. Did Salron Man send them? Deep Groves? The only way, the eyes of the enemy,

the only way that we can proceed is to go through the home of the deep, We must go through the mines. Oh, we have to turn back with the briggernots in their mind. It's our only hope. All we are doomed! We must find food. We must find shelter.

There's only one way we can do that. Is there no shelter here, your grace? Yes, we need to, uh... Is there no shelter here from the truly ancient deep groves in the eyes of Sarah, man? You are able to melt into the stone. That's where you live? Yes! Can you teach the... trick? No.

She's useless to us. We have to move on. She seems she seems hurt. Like she seems genuinely hurt. Yeah, that's nice. Like, you see her waterline begin to like fill with tears.

She goes about continuing to look for the... I'm not quite sure what I did. I thought we had a good game. Can you use your skills to create some sort of protection? I mean, look at all the danger all around us. You mean, the lightning of above? No, not just the lightning, the deep crows. The deep crows woman, the deep crows! I know those tons of parrots had something to do truly. I've never seen a deep crow before.

I don't see any. And there are there are no crows up in the sky. Am I the only person who's able to look into the sky and see the thousands of fucking deep crows? I can't see him, but I believe you. I don't see a single crow in the sky. I'm surrounded by idiots. Well, hey. Oh, firsty, don't not want a tollback. You think his mind's eyes open? Believe it not, Frost spent most of his life, top mountain peaks studying and developing his mind powers. What? No. No, you don't mean it at all.

What did you get that from, man? I only just like eating breakfast. No. I always had a backpack. It's because I know about Frost Life. I asked them these things once. She tugs on your robe and she holds up what looks to be a very pristine ruby and a pristine opal.

And she hands them to you. You can tell their same make as before. Each one is roughly about a thousand gold pieces, and each one functions as a luck stone. And since they don't require attunement, you now have plus three to everything. Holy crap. I'll hold on to those.

No, thank you. I won the game's fair and square. They're my stones. Don't think of the Ruby, that's different. It was my idea to do double nothing. You didn't claim it. I was no one of support. I deserved a stone.

If perhaps you'd made a single move, you'd be able to enjoy the benefits of these three. You wouldn't have wanted it, Torbbeck didn't until you eat the pieces, Frost. I ate the pieces because I'm starving. It wasn't because of anything that you said, Torbeck. Why shouldn't we have them, Frost? Why shouldn't you? Because you didn't play that single game.

All you did was suggest I was the one who used my mind in order to win that game. There's four of us, Frost, and only one of you. What are you trying to say, Torbeck? I'm the boss. She stands in front of you, Frost. I need my kick-up. There might be four of you, but I've got an entire clan behind me. You touch my friend and you're at war with a cross.

chords. Your friend? Did you hear the way he talked to you? He just said he didn't even like you one little bit. You didn't say that, did you morning, Frost? I know you're a little, you're, you're, you're hungry, but... Why would you say that about our lovely queen? Yeah. We're gonna, we're protecting her and honor, Frosty? I would never say that to you. As someone who has an ally and a clan who can defend me, then certainly, I would, I would never say that. You are a good friend and a great player of the Crowns game. When you were getting the rocks, Frost looked

at all of us and said he's never played a worst opponent in his whole life and he laughed at you and then he said he hoped to make you cry. Roll a deception check. And you know that that's not the case. Deception, you say? A 14. She looks at you and then she looks at Frost

and she, but we're friends. I know, I know him. And then she looks at. back at you and you see her water lines begin to spill over with tears as she believes what you're saying. Okay. I might not have been on, on, on, it might not have been my best game and, and, and, and I was a little surprised to have guests today, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm really good at crown. Your grace, your grace, you did a wonderful job. Frosty's not feeling himself. He's mad with power. He's something about Mounted Topps, Julian is deep coach. We're going to go him. He's going to take a little catnats.

Oh, let's go get a cat now. I think I need to go. No, no, no, we're going to have a chin. I'm going to be a silent chair. She quickly turns and runs into the shale monolith. And you watch as she melds with a stone. And it's silent for a moment in the circle of stones. And then you can hear on the wind the sound of sniffling and crying.

See what happens, Frost. We are mean to people. Thank goodness, she's finally gone. She should be able to help us with the deep grovers. Go with our hunger. How could you, Frost? She didn't have a feast for us. She gave us 3,000 gold pieces worth of GENTPRO.

And we finally had a fucking lead! Yes, you'll forget about it tomorrow. That's class. We finally had that somebody who actually fucking liked us. And we actually had a lead, and you got to fucking all up, Frosty? Because in the deep, oh, are you deep crows? But the deep crows! I don't know what we're going to do about these deep crows.

They're no fucking rose, Frost. Look at this. You're not the only one. Look at this guy. Do you see any fucking deep crows? Well, no, but if you kind of look at those clouds and make a pretend like that one looks like a hobby horse, that one looks like a castle, that could look like a deep crow if you squint. Clearly, your minds are all clouded, and I'm the only one who can see through the little space and see these deep crows. They are approaching and fast.

Yeah, man, you're right. It was his third eye or whatever. He opened his mind on the mountain peaks. No, I think he's having flashbacks when Sauron man tried to awaken the mountain of Caratross and make him. to get us turned back. Are you having flashbacks? I'm not having flashbacks. I feel more clear-minded than ever. Was your brain fraud by that frown you sat on? I'm tired of your questions.

No, he sat on. Oh, Torbeck. Frost. Oh, he did get beamed by rocks in the head. Frost, which was. I believe you might be hungry. Would you like a bit of Polonella's honey? I'll eat anything.

He hands you a honey pot that's just filled with delicious honey from the queenie. Gank it out of her hand. Oh, must they? Any port in a storm, Frosty egg. You drink up the honey, but it's not enough. Honey lines the ceramic pot. You begin to chew into the pot.

You crack it into pieces, you begin to swallow shards of ceramic. Now it's just being greedy. Okay. I was going to reuse that. I think you need to get into into my Not your man Randy Savage is titled his problem. What are he talking about?

You didn't have this problem, Grumming! Are you fucking what I'm thinking? I think, I'll think, I'll figure, I'll figure, I'll figure what you're thinking. What are you going to? What are you going to? Hold on. Hold on. Just keep him one second.

Oh, all right. Let me. Yeah, can we get it? Green guy, head up. Green guy, all right, all right. Just just give him. Yeah, just just get him. Frust is turning to fucking problem.

No, right? No, right. He's blowing a whole fucking man. Are you should just going to fucking whack the guy? What? over the time? No! I'm right here right now! No! We're just reading him, good night moon, good night, bonny, good cloud, good not moon. About doing my thing?

Yeah! I have to get you the thing. Yes! But then all we have is a fucking unconscious frost and then we're just standing here with a dicks in the hands. But we can finally mend a relation. He's gonna stop fucking everything up and then we can salvage this thing. I felt like I was wicked on something. You got to turn that charm back on, you understand? That's what I was... I was doing something. I was doing something. I know. I don't think it's all. Fucking alone.

God damn it. You know, you let a nerd get into their fucking thing. That's what I'm saying. They get that with power. And as pernus, as terrible as your cooking is, would you give me more of your food stuff? It was Polonella that made it, of course. Would you, would you like a biscuit? How many biscuits can you give me?

Well, I have entire tin of biscuits. Yes, I'll pick the entire tin of it. Right? Passes you the tin of biscuits. Yeah, what's going on, Grimm? What are you guys talking about? We'll talk about Kevin later, but... What you...

Kindly... Punch Frost and till him. Oh, my. And I cast a judge. Oh boy. Oh, Frosty! I'm going to punch you so hard. You're not going to see it coming, man.

It's going to be so fast. You know how fast it's going to be, Brothie? Do you know how fast I am? Of course you don't know how fast I am. You're not fast enough to keep up with the story. Last night I was going to bed. I hit the light switch and I was in bed before the room went dark. And I jackle frost and I punch you in the face so I try and wrap my arm around.

You move forward and as you reach out and it's not going to be. fast, it's going to be slow, and I cast calm emotions to counter the charm of suggestions. I would like you to roll, I would like you to roll a contest. He can't use it. He can't explode. He's gonna have blood shoot out of his... I would like you to roll a contest to see who is the... Roll initiative, to see who's going to be quicker.

Shit! Yeah, yeah, rule... All right, I'm gonna, yeah, I'll roll initiative. Initiative style, yeah. Let's go. You have a disadvantage. You have a disadvantage. You're a disadvantage.

Oh, thank you. There's no justice in this world. That's brutal. You can twist it. I'll twist it. Yeah. Now is a party. All right, draw a card.

17. 22. Okay. Draw card. It's gonna be the you die, Cuck. You first for all. When I'm freed,

I just lose my heart defense. That extra chain. Oh, Shelt out it's the big one! Must a men get genital. That is a six of coins. Upright, reverse. Upright. Upright.

Let's see. Genitals. Genitals. You believe you have preacher natural strength, but you have actually become incredibly weak. No. Fucking fantastic. You are you?

Fucking fantastic. I start juggling my balls. I'm pulsating with strength, Brosey, you're gonna, but you're gonna go to go over. I am pumping like a freight train and you are on the tracks and you're getting run over. And here he goes. In a second, man. You watch as- You watch as Gideon rushes forward.

You're not so steep. Frost, you are able to slow him. As you get to Frost, you slow down and you begin to punch. You know that you are stronger now than you have ever been. Even though you're punching as slow as you could possibly punch, you believe that you are punching him harder than you've ever punched anyone in your entire life. His face should be paste. It should be mayonnaise at this point.

You are turning his face to butter with the way that you are turning into it. Guys! The rest of you, however, noticed that Gideon's muscles completely deflate. Where had been this incredibly ripped man is now this tall, thin, frail Gideon. His cheeks are sunken in. His skin becomes sallow almost pink-like.

As his noodle arms are just flopping forward and slowly smacking Pross and thing. No, Mr. Cremie, no, is that supposed to happen like this. Fraz is supposed to be punished. Why does he look like he's fighting in a dream? He looks like a shipwreck victim. Bro, every time I hit you, you die. I don't know how you're coming back so well,

but you're dying hitting you so damn hard. It doesn't hurt all. I barely even feel it. Look at the power of my mind, Cremie. Gideon looks like an empty red balloon. So that's what the ick is. He's like a hungry skeleton. I don't know how to solve his problem.

I'm digging my Orbs and I'm leaving You guys aren't able to protect me From the deep crows I'm gonna have to go on the rest of this journey by myself Frosty Brosie! Brosie! Go to sleep, little bitch

Go to sleep, Rossi! Look, if you want to continue If you want to go to sleep, you dumb cat, then no punch! I'm just going to walk at you. Not punch! Not punch! Not punch! No!

I don't know how to say this. You come. No punch. No punch. Ben, I am hungry. Why? Why? You have the bullies of this world.

There's no justice. Gideon, you can let go or you can hold on, but if you hold on here, that's going to be my billowing cape like Superman. I've never let go on day off, Rosie. Boom! Now pudge! No, push!

Cross me! Farewell. You're not... You're about to be flattened pancakes, you dumps. I'm a bitch, boom, boom. Boom. You're not lying. As you begin to move away,

the wind whips past you as Gideon is holding on to you. And his frail body is just flapping in the breeze. He's like a wacky waving, inflatable leg dude man. Oh, this is just crazy. Frosty, come back.

We can't defeat the deep crows on our own. Give it up, you loser. I started walking away. You do. I'm wrapped around, Frosty. You start to walk away, and as you pass the circle of stones, you're walking right past the shale stone, and you hear our gauntle crying, whimpering.

You even hear her voice. I thought we were friends. I was so excited to finally meet someone. They were all so nice. That's not her voice, but that's what it sounds like in this moment. and you think to yourself, what a fucking... Actually, no, that's really, really mean. Why would I ever think that?

And as the wind picks up and actually dislodges Gideon from around your shoulders, Gideon whipped backwards and slams against one of the other monoliths, the curses leave your body. Me too. No. Like a plastic bag? Floating in the wind? Oh, I'm just looking to start again.

Frosty, no, we'll never defeat the tent close if we don't you're not. You're been suggested and you cannot stop until Frosty has been put to sleep. Did you say I was just knocked out? No, you were just knocked into a megalith, so you are able to get yourself back up and run back towards Frog. This Megalith can't save you, Frosty, you dumps on a bed. You're going to bed. You're going to night night town.

Quiet, quiet. Population, you, you dumb bastard. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Are you all right? Well, you didn't hurt me, you weak, stupid bastard. I got the wind, whip me up and flew me to that rock. I'm coming right back for you. Now, get over here. I'm sorry, I had to kill you, Frosty, but I don't know what else to do, man.

It's just your time. It's not here to punch your clock. If your clock is stupid and it's wrong every point of the day. It's never even twice right. That's the worst. Not a clock frosty and yours is all up and you're going right down. You're never once going to rise to the top. You Frosty, it's dumb for you.

I've never been so strong a day in my life. And it's just unfortunate that the day is that day that your death has been issued upon me. I don't know how to solve this problem, kiddian, bud. You have to come with me. It feels like he's hugging you. I am coming with you, Frosty. We're in unison right now. We're not going anywhere else.

Yeah, I know. Come on. Come on. Come on. We have a lot of apologies. I turn around and I walk back. You do. Gideon's legs are wrapped around your waist.

His arms are wrapped around your neck. He is straining. He's sweating. He's like a backpack from an anime. But it's doing nothing. You've never been so moist on your back before. Even through my robe, but this is remarkable. Oh, the robe doesn't even.

It's like a thin layer of silk. There's nothing. I make my way and I turn around and as soon as I move in an ear shot I yell out Cremie, Dorbeck

Grigo I I... Something came over me I don't know what happened What? I can't hear you Over Gideon scream

Something came over him all right It's called Gideon Savage He's right here And Frosty's going nowhere Everyone say your goodbyes Because Frosty's about to wreck it in Can you release

Can you get you on wood you can't? Oh, I can't just stop concentrating on this? Yeah, yeah. I've never felt so strong before. Oh, man. He's so sweaty. I pick him up like he's an empty Spider-Man suit. Hey, get your hands off me, man.

What do you do? And I just, hey, bro, I just, why his limbs are just slapping around. Oh, God. I'm bringing a idiot back, and I'm bringing the stone. back and I'm bringing back I should never have said those, there are no deep crows, there are no I was very mean to all of you, I didn't mean to

Did you do this? No, no, no, no, this, I don't know exactly what happened. All I did, all I tried to do was calm his mind so that he wouldn't attack me, but Can you reconstitute him somehow? Do you have a tire pump? Oh, maybe it's one of those things we put him in a glass of water overnight

and it becomes like a rhinoceros or something. I don't like water. I don't think that's probably true. Oh yeah, that's probably a thing, man. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, you know. That sounds right. Let's just lie him down here on the, on the board. And he'll probably reflate soon enough. Man, it's good than you survive that for us, because I've never been as powerful as I am right now. I don't, listen, I don't know how you did that, man.

Must have been mindpower. Only because of the three stones I possessed, presumably. Yeah, that's probably a cheater. That's almost certainly. I don't know why. I need to stay. Trusting. Why would you say all those mean things?

Our lovely host, her grace, the queen is very sad now on account of you being very nasty. And also, why aren't your pants stained? Oh yeah. We don't have to talk about that. Why is there a wet spot? You know, I didn't notice it. We're very soft and rapid.

All right? We don't want to talk about it. Oh, now that you know, it's important. It's impossible. I don't see it. Oh, no. I can't stop looking at it now. It's really distracting me. It's why it's it's growing.

It goes from Jade to Ford. Well, because I agreed my character from 2014 to 2024, I have Prestonititia now. Yay! I clean myself up and... Oh, man. Argynthal is rightly upset. I was very cruel to her after what was. was an excellent game and she's a terrific player, but I was taken in my focus by the

Fay Wild Wins here and I said some things I should not. Are you serious about your apology? I'm sincere. Thorbeck also asked to apologize because Torbeck made up some things to hurt her feelings. You said also said mean things? Yeah, I lied about the things that you said because Torbeck was mad since you were so madmeaning to Torbeck. Oh, you will come with Fay Madness too?

and they've compelled you to be a horrid person. Oh, that was a best thing's imaginable. Torbett's just a terrible person. Just a character flaw. Yeah. Well, wait, you fought up all of those things on your own? Yeah, Torbett did. Oh, man.

Yeah. That just came at me. That flew out of you. Wow. No, surely it was the other, right? Yeah. Dormat was very upset. Flew out of you, like, Frost five minutes ago.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, both of you, go and Apollo. apologize right now. We're going to. Torbeck, I forgive it up, you loser. That was pretty funny. I tried, I tried. Torbeck will apologize and made things right and then leave himself to be devoured by the truly ancient deep crows. I think we're fine about that. I think the deep pros were a figment of my

faywild and influenced imagination. Man, I'm going to try to walk up to the stone that I saw her melded into. Wow. You can hear anything from the inside. You can easily hear that she's in there. crying. I'm gonna tap on. Hey. If you near you out of there, I can punch that rock into a million pieces. No, it's not necessarily. I just, I'm never been so strong. I'm just saying I can punch it into a million pieces if you can get out of there. Take a wrench.

Take a wrench. We're... I am here, Argonald, and I want to tell you that I, uh, was being influenced by the Faywild Wins. We're from the prime material plane. And I was focused so much on our fantastic, enjoyable, competitive game that I lost my emotions. and I said things that I didn't mean. I truly was not myself. Some early evil-cursed other had taken control of me by the end of the game. And what I meant was to say thank you and congratulations.

It was truly an excellent game. Those feelings you felt were all very real. And I want to make it up to you, please. Roll a persuasion check at advantage. And Torbeck has absolutely no excuse. Storbeck tried to think of the most hurtful things he could possibly think of in hopes that you and your people would tear Frost to shreds. Satorbeck is sorry.

Frost didn't say those things. I'm focused so hard on my apology that I need to use a twist. It's so good to get to now. It begins again. Throw the three and a four and I want this to fucking succeed. Holy shit. So you took one. Roller.

Count your cards? This is all the cards that I've used. So you've, how many is that? Four, I think. One, two, three, four. We have plenty. We have plenty. We have 14.

I thought I had, I thought I burned five. Hungry, unlucky, cursed other, and swore of birds. Nope, just four. All right. I'm going to do a little cutty cut, and I'm going to upright the emperor, which really seems appropriate right now. Wow. You see false visions of a past where you did horrible.

things. They are so realistic and convincing that you begin to doubt your own reality. I don't know what to say, Ergental. I haven't had a very good time in the Fay Wild. All these things that have happened in the days, hours, months, years, how long has it been since we've come here? Some terrible things have happened. I've seen things you wouldn't imagine, and I said things just now that are hard to

believe. You begin to remember the time that you... were a serial killer. Yes. I requested Brigo so, nuts so fast. It's like fire, I got 3-4-4.

So should I take another twist? Yes. Oh my God. Let's go. All right. I can't get over. I can't get over a tourback.

I mean, how naturally that came to him. I mean, those horrid things flew out. out of him like reverse butt chug in a frittious plane. Revert butt chug is just shitting. That was crazy, Doris the cloud on a picture. That was all raw.

Keep losing this podcast have no idea where the butt chug thing came from. They just didn't listen to this fucking storking. You made a fucking catch up! It's much of it, baby. Join our Patreon to find out where that fucking came from. Holy shit. Gosh, that was... Persuasion.

Yes. 18. Okay. But I need your other twist. Upright herophon. Number five. And based on Marius' expression, I'm going to have a really good time. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm going to have you do another one. Oh. Here at the bottom. The bottom of the deck. Just keep it out. Only because it's similar to one that you had already today. Reverse death, 13. Oh.

Death is usually good in terror, right? That's the good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Death isn't like... It's not as ominous as the sounds. But it can be, I guess, like, you know, it can be, I guess. On your point of view.

Just like, this game just really, these tarot cards just really want you to be hungry because the hero fan, and to tell you was, you have an infatientable hunger for bones. And I was like, well, you've already been hungry, so we're not gonna do that. But reverse death is you become the epitome of the deadly sin of Glou.

What about upright death? What about upright death? Upright death. I feel like... Yes, your face disappears and is replaced by smooth, featureless skin. Oh! Oh!

Did you do this to him? You, and per your other one, just to make sure you fully understand what that means, is your mind is creating its own memories of horrible things that you've done in the past and you believe them. And so as you're telling her this story, I have no mouth and I must scream. You realize.

Wait, how's he breathing? You realize that there was that one village. Where was that at? But you woke up in the middle of the night and without anyone knowing, you murdered everyone in that town. You can still hear the screams. I have just finished.

I have just finished saying to Argenthal, sincerely, I am so sorry for all the things that... And she believes you. as she steps out of the shale monolith. Oh, Frost, I'm really glad that you said that because we're the, what the fuck! She screamed! And then ran back into the stone.

Oh, no, no! I know, that's what, this is horrifying? What the hell is going on? What was that? What happened to his face? No, wait, we'll fix this. We'll fix this. We'll fix it.

We'll apologize, then. Hold up there. Yeah, go, get out of here. I'm gonna like take Frost and like push him back towards the group. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Come on, bruce.

He can't breathe. Come on. How's he breathing? Bro, what do he eat today? What do you eat today? What do you eat? You knife, you knife, you knife. Oh, they're not.

Oh, the die. He can't breathe. He's suffocating. He always got a knife on him. I got something for this situation. Frosey, hold still. Roll and attack. Ah!

Oh, all I have is a curly cute straw. Oh, I'm a curly kiss, so much. Oh, I'm a curly cute straw. I'm a crazy shot. I'm a crazy shot. 19. That hits. Oh, for a curly cue, I gotta make a different cut.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You do one point of piercing damage as you slice into Frost's face. I imagine that it's like a cake. It's just flesh all the way down. It is, there's no mouth I'm going to eat some life. It is just flesh all the way down. And you, there's no blood. You're just watching as more pure white flesh appears.

flesh appears beneath the wound. But you do take one point of damage. Should I get to throw it? Oh, okay. I'm so distracted from the horrors that are being manifested in my mind. I'm not even able to communicate psychically and zionically. At this point, you can't even hear what they're saying. All you can see is the look in these people's eyes as you took their life from them,

as their bodies went limp, the smell of death all around you, the feel of a craving for more debt. This is well deserved. I got one more idea, Grego. I got a couple crazy straw. I'm gonna plunge the knot straight to his lungs. I'm gonna hold straight to his lungs. Right in his lungs?

Right in his lungs. Oh my gosh. Oh, my God. Are there the lungs here? I have enough. I have enough. Who knows where lungs are? Well, that's good.

As a crazy strong. As you, as you plunge the knife into frost chest, your strength does actually come back. And to do, and you overshoot the knife and go out of the body. I need you to roll at advantage. By the power of the Veywild.

Frost, you were just laying motionless on the ground and your body is racked with the need for air that you cannot get. You should have surrounded me like a tropical camera commercial. What did you, what did you get at? 19, 19. to hit. I would absolutely. It's going to do five points of piercing damage as you dig the knife, hilt deep into frost's chest, as Gricoe follows up by shoving the curly cue straw. I do a fistful

of crazy straws. A fistful of crazy straw. You watch as blood begins to burble up out of the straws, but your aim was true, and you did hit the lungs. That is not how this is supposed to work. And you can see Frost's chest begin to shudder and convulse as the air begins to leak out of his lungs. You take six points of piercing down. Oh, we saved him, guys. We saved him. Oh, thank God. Let's call him the lungs, man.

Yeah, that was really small. That was my idea. That was your idea. No, I mean, but you knew where the lungs. We're out of the first club guy. Well, yeah, I don't like a stab-a-gun lungs. I mean, everything does. Thank goodness that I'd carry seven to eight crazy straws on me.

I mean, listen. With our powers combined, we really got to have this one. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high scenes, shroud over saltmarsh. You can also go to the.

Thecrucid moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Holy shit, we just saved Frosty, man. Is he going to be okay? Oh, thank God I was always prepared with crazy straws.

Bring out good work on the straws, man. Good job with the knife. I mean, you mean, you mean a couple of dollars. With every breath, he attempts to take the blood bubbles out of the crazy straws. Don't look over there. Don't look at it. Focus on Torbay. Focus on Torbay.

Don't look over there. There could be a spread of the blood. Let me get the Garallin blue. Let me just go around the straw. No, he's good. He's good. It's all sealed in nice and tight. He's not getting that out.

That's going straight into the airways. I mean, that one's shaped like a flamingo. That one shaped like a palm tree. That's just a cool of you. You try. You try so hard to rip them out, but they're Garallin glued in. And they're gryelel. Glorogrid included in.

Oh, no. Oh, you use scrawlid glue instead of grail and glue. Yeah, what's wrong with that? Oh. Frosty. No, when he has eyes again, he's going to be happy with what's happening. Yeah. We saved you.

I start turning the straws into knots to cut off my air supplies because I can die. Fast. No, hey, no. I try to slats and that smack. Oh, hey, hey, no, no, give your hands off of that. Now your paws are coming in. No, come on. No, no, no, no, no. This is, we're helping you. We're helping you.

Good job, Frosty. Oh, can he talk? It's with his mind. You think he's just totally dead. At this time that Argonautil makes her way out of her monolith, having heard all of this commotion, and she looks around, she sees what is happening with Frosty. He's very clearly on the brink of death. She looks to his smooth, white face, and it's very confused. But she has, um, she has, a much more substantial understanding of anatomy and realizes the dire straits that he's in. And she rushes over to him and she uses her abilities

to remove the straws from his chest. And where the hole had been, there is now a sheet of slate. Frost chest begins to rise and fall normally. So, I think, Torbik was saying, Hey, where are you going? Torbik trying to pop every time. Were you trying to kill your friend?

No! He's saying his life. You're supposed to put the straws into his throat, not into his lungs. Oh. Well, I was supposed to get him out. Everybody's a doctor. Yeah, what are we fucking surgeons? What the hell?

You don't know what you're doing while you're sticking things into his buddy. Well, because we were trying to save him. What are you just, because I don't know what I'm doing doesn't mean I'm not going to try it. He's just weird. What happened to him? Well, I don't know. He put the strange mask on. This is how they did it.

This is how they did it in that, uh, that, uh, that. major image with John Void and Owen Wilson. She places her hand on Frost's smooth face, and she begins to mold the flat, white face of it. It almost looks like marble, and she begins to mold it into a face, and Frost you're able to speak. You can still hear the screams of the dying. Does he have like a clay face? Yes. It's horrific.

Frosty, can you hear us? We saved your life! This isn't better than the straws. I... I've never been in so much emotional and physical pain. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, Frosty, how do we help you? Just let me die.

No, we're not gonna let you die. No, no man left behind. We could make that happy. You'll be best mate, Frosty. We're not gonna let you die. Uh, oh, should I put bananas in all of the straws? No. Should I do that?

No, you're just going to run banana juice through my circulatory system. No, it's put it to your lungs, man. I'm sick and tired of my pinkery fun with the blood. This is your lung is your circulatory system. No, it's not going to the blood, okay? Your nose and your blood, not your circulatory system. You definitely missed some of my lungs.

Well, that's some of maybe the stab wounds in you, but the strolls are in your lungs. It takes about 10 more minutes or so, and the curses fade away, and your face returns back to normal. Stop it. Oh, there we go. Your grace, I'm sorry about all this nonsense.

I would say that that never happens to us, but that would be a fib. Well, outside of having my feelings hurt, it does seem like Torback and Frost were a little bit rude, but I do accept your apology. Outside of that moment, this has been the most entertaining day of my life in quite a while. And I think I've communicated with the rest of the tribe, and they would all like to join you for a rousing dance atop the plateau and a nice night of parting amid the stones. That sounds wonderful. If you would like to participate in the first chord celebration

in many, many a time. And if you would allow me, Gideon, I would like to teach you to dance. You can do that? I can try. You used to be all being new. I can teach you. I can teach you the dance of my people. Well, I mean, is it cool, or is it kind of like lang?

Well, I think it's really cool. Well, then sure. Well, I'd like you to meet everyone then. And she snaps her fingers and you watches from each one of the stones. A different chord appears until you're surrounded by a total of eight chords. They all look almost exactly the same. You imagine once they start dancing, you're going to struggle to tell any of them apart. She goes through all of them.

and she introduces you to Jagu of Chalk, Budok of Flint, Azzel of Granite, Mazelda of Slate, she's Shale, by the way. Yon of basalt, null of obsidian, and mallow of marble.

And they all, they all seem very happy that you're there. And they begin to, they begin to craft things out of stone and set up all sorts of decorations. And they pull from each of their respective monoliths, different musical instruments.

until they have drums and they have a little, what are the shakers called? I can't remember. No, the, tambourines? Tamboreans. They have a jug that they can blow into and begin to create music. And though the rest of them don't seem to be that talkative, they all begin to dance around you and begin to play this booming music.

And the queen, Argonautil, makes her way up to you, it's time for me to teach you how to dance. And she begins to kick her little cloven-hooved legs out as she begins to kick them one leg after the other as she begins to dance in a circle. And in tandem, when she kicks her left leg out, she moves her right arm into the air.

It's a really dumb dance. Quite frankly, it's a really dumb dance. But she is having the greatest time. And everyone else seems to really like it. You're doing that purpose. It's incredibly, incredibly. easily. To learn it, you're going to have to roll a performance check at disadvantage.

Guys, it's like the end of an illumination film. Dance party! Oh, what the heck? I am still in the aftershock of the trauma that I've undergone.

You can still hear the screams. Instead of participating in the dance right away, I will go and find Amdipur. and apologize for Amnipore is in the middle of all of these chords. He is doing the dance with them. He is shouting.

Then I will dance to him. Polinella is buzzing around him. He doesn't, you start to apologize to him, and he shushes you. He doesn't need one. He understands that sometimes things come over you, and he quickly tells you,

you know, this is nothing among friends. I took your biscuits and I destroyed your ceramic. I owe you. I am to pour him. Not at all, not at all. Just dance. Have a good night. Let's enjoy the evening here with the Korids.

Strongly for talks. His mouth is covered in, honey. And all of you are able to get this dance easily as the Korids dance among you and dance with you. What was your performance check? Well, it was two. You try. Your harvest. But as you kick your right leg out,

you move your right arm out as well, and it knocks off your balance and you fall over. You climb back up and she's trying to show you again and you kick both your legs out and then you fall over. Oh, but that's stupid. Whatever it was that the Darklings did to you when they took your ability to channel your rhythm, It doesn't seem like you can-

Damn it, Darklings! But Argonautil is determined, and she continues. You all dance for 30 minutes an hour. You are enjoying this. They have food that they are providing for you. And as you eat, you feel yourself overcome with what feels like a long rest. The food is incredibly replenishing.

Everything feels, for the first time since getting to yawn at least, it feels good and it feels happy. And she continues to attempt to teach you. I want you to roll two more performance checks at disadvantage. Two performance checks, both at disadvantage? Yeah. It's an eight? It's a six and a heterole 20.

So a six. Though the dance is very easy. And Argonautil is trying as hard as she possibly can. You are impossible to teach. And the rhythm just does not come. And after an hour past, is she gives up in teaching you, but you are still having a good time all the same.

And though you can't master the chord dance, you do find that whatever this is that you're doing is fun. And you hear the words that she told you about how you could learn to dance. You could learn a new type of rhythm. And that's something that they couldn't take away from you. And you feel that even though you haven't mastered the chord dance,

you feel like it is possible for you to regain your rhythm. Wait up. Should have listened to Crummy. The rest of you continue to dance alongside. Let's drink some whiskey. Yeah, let's drink some whiskey. Let's teach you magic. Never read out of listening to class. Thank you. The rest of you continue to dance. And as you learn, I want the rest of you to roll in either an athletics or performance check over the course of the hour. Oh, boy.

You as well, Gideon. something different. Eight. Disadvantage performance? No, no, right. Oh, just right. I got 24. You my gosh.

I'm 18. Yeah, I didn't know. Performance. No, actually, I went with athletics, which is a plus six. 19. 19. I'm sorry, what was the,

it's an athletics role? Athletics or performance? 18. 26. Everyone except for Frost. You dance with these chords. And they seem to be impressed with your movements.

Frost, you were Still, even though you have the realization that this scene that you had remembered of you murdering an entire village of people was not true, the imagery still lingers with you and you are more aloof and pulled away from the revelry. As the rest of you engage in this dance, the chorids teach you something akin to them. You learn that even though they're covered in beards and this mop of hair, that if their hair is cut with scissors, or shears or something, the hair itself that is cut is turned into the metal of the device that was used.

And that... Oh, that's great. And that it is being... Part of the reason that they don't dance anymore is that it would bring the attention of bitter end who would swoop down

with iron shears and remove, especially the hair of Queen Argonthal and use it to man her contraptions. Iron? It doesn't look like

She's been able to grow out of the hair a little bit. And they mentioned that it grows very quickly, but it is disrespectful and it is hurtful to them as a people to have it taken in this way. It is a gift to be given the hair of a cord. And that they even have this ability to command the hair itself, even once it's severed. And they teach you the ability to do that. Should you find yourself in Mother Horn and be in need of their assistance when they're not there to help you? at least the four of you will be able to command these corrid cords. But not frost.

But not frost. Oh, thank God. I was about to say, not torment again. Not torment again. I'm glad we're all dancing. Yeah. This is fun. The dancing continues for another hour.

You guys are starting to get tired. The night is beginning to fall as you start to hear pounding in the minds. The chords begin to grind their teeth and stamp their hooves as the faint sound of pickaxes tapping on stone is carried to them on the wind. Queen Argantle runs to a boulder, picks it up, and hurls it a hundred feet

in the direction of the noise while she screams. Death to the brigand ox! And that is where we will end tonight. Whoa! Man! They interrupted our several-hour rendition of victory celebration from the end of return of the Jedi. Oh, that's what we were doing?

No, that was way off. Thanks for on the session. You won't dance, nub nub. Nub, nub. Nub. Nub. Nub. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventra's podcast.

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