Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 61 | Casting Stones

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

The Krew, after endearing themselves to the korreds and their queen, begin to hatch a plan... Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/6WHDvH4Fqhs?si=gNwRX8_NqVtZFagL

What a do, welcome to Ladies of Ventress. Like, here's what happened last time. Did you say you wanted to go back to the material plane? Eventually, I'm not, no, not right now. I could help you with that if you want. Well, you see, there's a, there's a fairy prince here from the court of the spring. He had a bum deal with, what's her face. Bitter hand.

He promised her a year of his life, and then she'd let him go home. He gave up the year, and he's allowed to go. home, he's just, you can't quite do it. He's cut like eight Fe beacons, and then he can make his way home. She'll show him the way. You've bested me here, fair and square, even if you are a bit of a cheater.

Hey! Fush! Yeah, no! But I know when I've been beat. I was worried when he started eating pieces, but I knew he pulled through. You're a valiant opponent, and she reaches out and shake your hand.

Oh, I shake your hand in her. But next time you're playing a game with someone, don't try and eat their pieces. That's very unlikely. What are you even doing? That's so strange. I will, I'm affected by... If you're hungry, just let me know, I'll make you a chicken. He just said he didn't even like you one little bit.

You didn't say that, did you, morning, Frost? I know you're a little, you're hangary, but... Why would you say that about our lovely queen? Yeah! We're... I am here, Argonaldol, and I want to tell you that I was being influenced by the Faywild Wins. We're from the Prime Material Plain, and I was focused so much on our fantastic, enjoyable, competitive game that I lost my emotions. Moment, this has been the most entertaining day of my old.

of my life and quite a while. And I think I've communicated with the rest of the tribe and they would all like to join you for a rousing dance atop the plateau and a nice night of parting amid the stones. That sounds wonderful. If you would like to participate in the first chord celebration in many, many a time, Gideon, I would like to teach you to dance. You were all standing at the plateau at Lockbury Henge. You've been dancing for hours now, enjoying the company of the chords,

firmly brought in to their fold as they enjoy their time with you. When all of a sudden, amidst the sounds of the storm that is roiling overhead, you begin to hear the sounds of hammers on stone and chisels on stone, incredibly loud, echoing throughout the mountain peaks, as the queen of the court

makes her way over towards the edge of the plateau and yells out death to the briganox. The rest of the corids rush over to her. They all begin picking up stones and chucking them down into the valley below as they yell and scream, completely losing interest in their dance and their time with you.

And that is where you find yourselves now. You are standing in the middle of these stones is all of these cords are in a rage, hurling rocks into the cap. Oh my God. Are we under attack? Is this political violence? This is really harsh in our mellow, man.

I mean, we were just dancing. Now they're throwing rocks at these guys. The vines were peek and now they're off. Brutal gang warfare, just the 90s? No. I look around, like where, are we under attack from the brigadots? You don't seem to be under attack.

You're on top of a plateau at the top of a mountain. And they are, you are up high. They are looking down potentially towards the mouth of a cave or something like that. And they're chucking rocks down there and yelling. Fuck those guys. Yeah, fuck them breaking rocks. I run over and I describe rocks and I just start, you know. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait. Don't remember we'll do it too. No, no, no, no. These guys are some point. Fuck them breaking up. I'm chucking rocks. Oh, my. Stupid Brigginawks.

Come to me, man. I mean, we can talk to him. Say something more. If Brigginox have no hate is Grico's dead. Yeah, get him, brinkgo! Yeah! And we like, we gobblinoid venturing candidate. And, like, we just get activated.

And, like, in a mountain, throw in rocks and stuff, like, that's 100%. Yeah, yeah. And that King's man dreams. Yeah. Cremmy and Gideon, we need to get out of here. Let's just go. We're not going to be able to stop them.

What the fuck's going on? Talk to the queen. Stop what you're doing. This is unnecessary violence. They're just passing through. What are you talking about? It's the damn Brighanox. They're making all the sound to ruin our fun.

Dead to the Briggins! I have the situation straight. We're killing all the Brigginox because they're hammering anvils while we're trying to party. That's why we're killing them on. What are you talking about? We're not killing them. We're throwing rocks down there. Oh.

The distance of the... They're inside of their mountain caves, hammering away just to ruin our fun. None of them are actually in any danger? I'm gonna peek over. Ah! Grigo! Doer!

Easy! Kill one! Oh, nice tool back! Oh, let's stop counting. How many we killed? Roll up D-100 for me, please. All up the D-100. Thank you. You step to a safe spot along the edge here, Frost,

and you look down into the chasm. It is sure. shrouded in fog. It is, and you can imagine it's like this always, but it's perpetually stormy here. And with that amount of moisture in the air, there is a thick layer of fog that's almost encircling this. But you find a position where, whereas everyone here, the, well, the corids and your two goblinoid friends are hurling rocks down into this, almost blindly, you find a position where you can look down into this chasm and see a vantage point. And from here, you notice a couple of things.

You notice that about halfway down in this chasm, that there is the place that the corids were talking to you about. You can see what looks to be almost a crater lake. It's quite a huge jutting platform out from around the middle of this mountain. And around it are these eight giant stone be. beacons. One of them. Around the lake.

Around the, it's like a crater that's filled with water, so a crater lake. And you see that one of these beacons is lit, and as you're looking, you notice a second one lights, and just as it does, the first one goes out. Um, you... It's going like, and then the next one, and then the next one, and it's just going around like that in order? Yeah, every time one is lit, the one before it goes out. Something about Gondor.

That's expected behavior. The brinketting ox call for aid. You know. That aligns with what you had heard and you see that, oh, that- Oh, Charlotte at the mall at the same time. Yeah, right? Someone's following him and putting it up. That is, you're able to look at that and say,

okay, that's the place where that's happening. I recognize that. But even further down, as you continue to look down the chasm, you see that once it gets to the actual base of it where the two mountains diverge from each other, you see that there is clearly a large entrance to a cave, an incredibly large entrance. And all around it are these hulking stone statues. And from this vantage point, it's really difficult to see what the

statues are of. But aside from that, you don't see any brighonocks at all. You're not really sure what a brighonok is, what it looks like to know, but you don't see any moving creatures in that space. What did you get with your D-100? I got a 36. Torbick doesn't intend to see their faces ever! Though you don't see, you don't see any Brighanox about, you do see there had been a goat that was scaling the mountain as a rock crashes into the side of it

and you watch as it plummets down the mountain and splatters into a pool. What are you doing, Greg? Look, God, oh, yeah, yeah, see, here you go, see, here you go, there we go. You guys don't see that, only Frost sees that. You're looking down into just, Fuck. I go over the biggest boulder I'm funny.

Here you go, Hoochie is another rock. I stick my 10 foot long arms under the boulder and I start yelling at Gricko, help Torbeck roll this! Yeah! Hucci help us! It's a boulder over the edges thing and just like cause Indian and Jordan style devastation. You push the molded down, roll another D100 for me.

Good God. Come on, give you a Honda. 58. Okay. You are still watching this. You see the goat fall. And for a moment, you're not sure what it is, but then as you watch it tumble,

you realize what it is and the devastation that your friends are doing. And as you turn to let them know what's happening and what you see, you watch as this giant boulder begins to roll down the side of this cliff. It barely misses, it barely misses one of the Faye beacons on this plateau about halfway down. You're going to break it out, and Nelfeschnie is going to come out, and if I can kill us.

As it continues to roll down, dislodging huge portions of this mountain, and by the time it crashes into, there's basically a little valley, a narrow walking path. That's at least how it looks from up here, between these two mountains as they go up. And as the boulder rolls down the one and lands at the bottom, bits of both mountains fall down and blocks off an entire pathway. There's now a huge blockade there. If you were to get down to the base, your options for travel would be directly into the mine itself or potentially down the jagged cliffside on the opposite side. We're winning! Yes! Can you remind me of the political, like, climate?

Climate. Yeah, climate of like... So what you know about the corids. Yeah. Or what you have learned from the corids is that the corids hate the Brickinox. And the reason that they hate them is because their lead architect,

Brickadox are very ingenious. They make a lot of contraptions and things. Their lead architect has been working directly with Endelen to create things from Motherhorn. Oh. And they also hate the corids and like to disrupt their fun.

They intentionally make loud noises, to ruin any time that they've done song and dance. And also to alert Endelin when they're out and about doing fun things, which is why they don't anymore because she'll come down from Motherhorn and she'll snip off their hair to use for ropes and pulleys and things within Motherhorn.

But we also, we know that we need the Brighamocks to go through their tunnels to get to Motherhorn. They let you know that, Yes, there does appear to be some sort of entrance into Motherhorn. How you would get in there is hard to know, but. Do we need the cords for anything in particular? That's what I'm trying to remember.

It's like, are they gonna help us in some way? My recollection is- They're almost fine gleam. Knight Andapur told us that we needed to befriend the corids in order to get their permission to pass. Yes, because getting to directly to Brighanak mine, you have to go over, Rockberry Henge down where you're throwing all of these rocks.

So we're crossing through, just by merit of traveling. We need their permission to get to the Brighanox. Yeah, to get down into the valley. To the tunnel. And that also they have put some sort of statue safety mechanism outside of the cave to prevent people from getting in there and to prevent the Brighanox from leaving, which is presumably what Frost is seeing, the giant stone statues. Peace was never in.

No, no. No, Ro Rootie! Do I like to have a French? Do I remember the Queen's name? Yeah, I'm sure you do. What's your name, Rich? It was like Rodelia? That, yeah, no, it was definitely.

You should try calling her that. Oh, no. Rodeandro? What a do, Miss Queen Lady. I mean, is all this violence and noise necessary? I mean, I understand y'all really don't like them. Brigganox down there. I mean, perhaps this is something that my band of mercenaries could help you with. What did you have in mind? Well, I mean, here's the thing. Obviously, given all this horrific

political violence that's happening around us, y'all don't like them too much. And I figured you're just sort of, you know, aimlessly throwing rocks and boulders down in their general directions and doing a whole lot. So let them know that they can't just walk all over us. They can't, they can't just let her know that we're here, we're having a good time, and that she can come just steal our hair anytime she wants. Would you be willing to entertain

a more permanent solution, Queen Argental? Are you suggesting that we just kill them? I'm suggesting that we just kill. If you let us pass, we might be able to make a deal. If you can get in there, we can sneak on in.

We'll go down the edge of the bowl of the crater like a stealth mission. In the middle of the night. sneak into their caves and will cut their throats while they're sleep. We're pretty good at killing people. Well, as long as none of us have to go with you, I'd be more than happy to give you, especially after every, hold off on the rock throwing.

And you see that they all throw, they all stop throwing rocks. I would throw a couple more until I realized that they've all stopped and I, yeah. Get him to him, Joe, back! She wouldn't make any effort to stop the two of you, but you do notice that the rest of them back up and they all, They all align with their particular standing stone. Torbeck doesn't know what came over, Torbeck.

Well, and that's the best part, you understand, right? Because if you all went in there and killed it, it could cause a blood feud that may last centuries. But if you send us, they won't necessarily know that we're political agents. Just a couple of drifters. And my band of mercenaries is very well trained. If anyone gets captured, they will not leak a word.

of it. I have contingencies upon contingencies. Well, I've never really thought about them being killed. We just want them to stop. Well, what's the best way to stop somebody? Death is a permanent solution. You fucking kill them, that's it. I mean, it is the thing, right? We get in.

If you can get us in, we'll kill them, and then that gives us entrance to mother horn, presumably, if I'm understanding all this stuff, right? You might need at least one of them to get into Motherhorn. I'm not sure it's something, a place you can just walk into. We can keep one alive, that's fine. But then you'd kill it after.

Well, we could. Lest it procreate and they fill up the mine again. Yeah, I mean, once we've expanded the usefulness of said Brigh and Knock, yeah, we can cut the throat. No problem. So here, right. So here's the thing. At the end of the day, we want to help y'all. Given how beneficial this could be to you and our particular skill set, this might come at a premium

if you don't mind paying for our services. In what way would you prefer that I pay? We don't really barter in gold. No, I mean, just a couple more of those jams. You have a few lying around. We can take a few, maybe just one each. Yes, these sapphires are quite nice. Would you mind giving me an hour to speak with the...

No, take your time, and I'm happy to... negotiate. I'll speak with my counsel. Take some time to eat and be merry. And we'll make a decision for you and do time. That's plenty of time. Thank you. We can play a game of Marshall that's Giacterer. I also love a good game of Marshall the scattering. We would love it if you would stay the evening with us and start your journey in the morning. No, no, yeah. We can absolutely stay. It doesn't have to be right now. I'm just offering you a permanent salute. problem. And then, hopefully, no one has to miss any more hair. Well, then give us an hour. We'll make a decision, and then we can spend the rest of the evening and join each other's company. I know just how precious hair can be.

It's true. It's really quite rude what they do. I'll reapply my mustache. I'll see you soon. And she moves, she makes her way over, and you watch as they all move into her monolith, and they disappear from sight. And you were left alone at the top of Lockberry Henge. roughly an hour. The fire is roaring in the middle. There's a pot and a bunch of things to cook if you decide you want to do as such. And you have time to make a plan for how you are going to kill the Briggernax.

Wow, can you believe these guys play Marshall, the Scattering? I wonder if they play warlord. My warlord is Richie the Unfaltering. I pull out a card that's literally just Richard. It's holograph. That's amazing that you've been able to keep it in mint condition. Yeah. Despite all of our adventure. I mean, we swam through swamps.

I mean, crazy stuff. That's impressive. Tap and sacrifice Richie and staple a condom to a piece of paper. That's wild. How much do you spend on that? Dorbert doesn't have to tell you. It's a piece of cardboard. How much is it worth?

It was an investment. For what? It will be worth more someday. I look at it, is it like creased and like... No, it's actually very good condition. Oh wow. It's a surprisingly good condition. Well, it's relatively handsome, I guess.

No. He's got a good job. Nice set of hair. I put it in its protective box and I put it back on my filthy sack. And it's like very weird, this modern. Yeah. It's like a different art style. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's out of place in this one. It's... CGI in a 2D, oh my god. As you're having this conversation, Kremi, you feel a tap on your back, a very gentle tap, tap. And as you turn around,

you see And Amedipur standing there behind you. And he seems to be, he seems to have everything that he has normally on him strapped to his back. I had to, could we have a quick conversation between the two of us? You are the leader of this merry group of fellow Well, from a certain point of view, I suppose that's true.

What's on your mind, Phil? I have been here dancing alongside you, but going mostly unnoticed, which is fine. It's very fine. No, that's just fine. Yes, but I have overheard that you have a new goal in mind to get directly into Motherhorn, and I really must find glean. And I was, well, I know that it is a... I don't want to cause any trouble, but you don't seem to need me.

It wasn't gleam in the mines? I thought we were killing two birds with one stow. Yes, yes, I did believe that to be so, but it does not sound like that might be the case any longer. Oh, well. At least from what Pollenella is telling me in her stealth missions overnight. What way? She goes on stealth missions, too?

Well, yes, she's a bee. Well, is she looking for employment, gainful employment? She's employed by me. Three square meals a day? You can feed her thrice? I certainly can. You can't even feed Torbeck thrice. Well, that's more of a choice.

It's not about capability. It's not about capability. Yeah, exactly right. Well, no, we're friends, I believe, yes? All of us? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Polonella would be at your disposal any time you need a time.

Well, if y'all, how about this? Let's say she offers us this job. You don't look like a cord, right? You could blend in with the rest of us. You come, let's all cut some crows. I mean, I feel like old Bunabella, you know, with that stick. I am... I am afraid of going back to Motherhorn so soon

if Gleam is not in the cave. I think we should split up. And then, if you do not find Gleam in the cave, I have one other place. Yes, I'm sorry, my darling, but we must go back. There is a beekeeping cyclops. I do believe that gleam may have headed that way, hoping to find me. Oh, I don't want to miss out on the beekeeping cyclops that you cut.

I would have. What the fuck that guy. Hey, can we cut his throat, too? Insult to injury. I added to the list. I do believe that I must retrace my steps. Well. And just guarantee that she is not missed.

Wait a minute. Are you at any risk? Facing this cyclops, would you be able to take him in a fight? In a fight, no, but I am very clever. And I was able to rescue Pollenella. I do believe that I could encounter him again and make my way out safe and sound. So I would like to give you this. And he passes you what looks to be a hardened piece of honey in a teardrop shape.

It looks almost like an earring. And he shows you that he has one on as well. You can use this to communicate with me. If you happen to find Gleam inside of the caves, I would rush straight to your side. I'm quite quick on my own, especially with Paul Nello by my side. And if you do not find her,

you can let me know, and I can continue my search if she's not at the beekeeping Cyclops. Wait a minute. Are we going to miss out on the beekeeping cyclops adventure if we don't go with you right now? Yes. This real way to put it's a bit of it.

I don't want to miss out on that. We can kill the brigadots at a later time. Yeah, that's exactly what I was just about to say. Why don't we hear your talk-offs? It was important to my new favorite character because he's literally the epitome of the meme of nice muscles, bro. She let me hit because I'm goofy. That's my own time.

That's my life. Oh, God. I love this guy. Well, I mean, so here's the thing, right? This whole, you know, eternal blood feud. This seems to have been going on for, you know, years, maybe centuries, who knows. So I feel like if you need help now, we can go, you know, I feel like missing out on that. Sure, Dijel, we want to help you.

You were nice enough to give us the toilet tents. Did you say toilet? The tents with the strange toilets in them. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not thinking. You know, I'm pretty much. It's only been a few hours. What? Dunk of the tail, please.

The magical tents that you gave us. They were, they're various strains, but very nice combinations. There's some. Our connection is magical. Am I hearing this in my mind? Yeah. You've achieved harmonic resonance with the toilet. I'm trying to have.

You can always reach you. By the end of which light, if every single one of you does not have a Mikey NPC speaking into your brain. We've done something wrong. You're right. You're right. JD and us chuckles. Derek has the magical toilet.

So who knows? What's next? The Eldridge magical toilet with no name. I think Kremie could we could bring back the implant also. What do you? That's your room, Gronflin. That's your version of Grohloplin. That's your version of 2020.

Oh my God. Well, it's not that I need to take care of I'm not going to do anything harmful to the beekeeping sandlocks. I'm simply going to return to see if gleam went looking for me. But now, my concern is that I don't want to enter Motherhorn without making sure that gleam is safe. Yes. So neither do we. If we would all like to travel to the Brighonox and...

Yeah! That would be fine. but if gleam is not there before we enter Motherhorn we would have to go to the beekeeping cyclones Well they'll all be dead I mean the caves will be clear We can come and go whenever we want

So my point is if you want to come and check there We'll kill some Brighanox Is she there? Is she not? Either way If she's not we'll go deal with We'll help you with the cyclops And then it'll come back You would really like my company

Yeah we're not really going to have time rush right now There's really no reason to rush That means a great deal to me, Mr. Lucreux. Great deal. Well, it's my honor. And so I feel like we can make sure everybody's happy at the end of all this. What do you think, fellas?

I'll feel like that's the best of both worlds. We get to do the brig knots in and then you still get the beekeeping. Yeah, I mean, I think it just works out. It is true that it is most likely that Gleam will be inside those minds, unless... No, I propose that we platinum, this yawn.

I... Yeah, me too. Do reptiles, yawn? Is everybody else? Spey and a book? I got it. That actually got me. Well, I think either way it's getting late,

we need to wait to see what the queen comes back with. Yeah. I need to change my subclass, too. When are you going to change it to? I'm thinking, the moon. I'm really suddenly leading to the moon right now. The moon? Yeah, the moon is looking really nice.

Tell us about the moon. Oh, there are a lot of phases. Thinking out where you're going with this. It's responsible for the tides. Are there three phases or are there four? I always forget. As you're having this conversation, a bolt of lightning strikes and you watch as it connects against all of these moon beacons

that are in the air. And you watch as Motherhorn illuminates for a second. but you also notice as tendrils of lightning jolt down towards the fey beacons on the plateau below, and you watch as all of them illuminate for a split second. And then you can see in the air around you

these little electric crackles, and I need every single one of you to roll a D-100 for me, please. What are you talking about? I'm guessing this is a goofy roll, so I'm gonna roll my goofy hundo. I got a 50 on the dot. I got a 30 on the dock.

Goofy hugo. 75 on the dot. Let me write it down. Okay. 30. You said 50? 50 for me. Very nice.

Torback. 30. Grinco. Grinco. I think probably at least 25% of our fan base thinks that is named Grinco. I think I would believe. I see Grinco more than I say. This is what I mean.

It's a lot. It's very common. Grinco, yeah. That's what I've been saying, Grinco. Gideon, what did you got? Gideon, what did you got? Oh, 34. Frost.

Seven. Thank you. That's all. Well, that's a nightmare. So it's the plant, and then we are going to convince the queen that we are going to kill the Brighanax, and then we are going to instead go to the Cyclops, or are we going to clear the cave first?

I just want to make sure we're clear. You're going to kill those horrible Brighonaut. Yeah. I think what Amdipo is saying is that Amd Rupore and Bumbenela are going to come with us to the caves. We're going to kill all the brigands. With rocks. Well, violently.

If there's something about throwing rocks, it really gets Torbeck going. Next time we go, I'm going to show you a special rock-frowing maneuver. I didn't showcase now because I feel like I need a clear shot. That's right. Is it the throw-to-the-side-arm thing that you always do? No, it's a special move. It's the side-arm. It's going to get a...

Shut-up! Torbay's going to get a slowly bigger rock, and then with his 10-foot-foot-foot. arm, smacked their skulls in. Yeah! What's the over under that the Brighanox are actually incredibly cute, like little Furbys? They'll be easy to kill!

Oh, right. If that's the case, Torbeck's gonna make shoes out of them. You guys really on a different wavelength right now. You do need to do. No, we've got on the very same wavelength. We want to kill Brighennax and rocks. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, I'm ready to kill Brigganox.

I'm just making shoes out of them. Torbex never thrown a rock before, and it's changed the Dormann. Yeah, I mean, really do have the arms for her. Yeah. I feel like you would be a really great throwing rocks at a group of soldiers riding on horses toward you making their last stand. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, as the soldiers rage. Dormack can feel it can feel it deep in his being. I feel like we're gonna make a lot of monkey trouble in those minds. Yeah, so make a baseball reference. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. It's a very mystery, mysterious about it. Yeah. Okay.

How do they know about baseball? What the fuck? get the baseball. It's a little bit of inside baseball. You know, you're a little bit. You know, godland stuff. It's got. It's got in garbage.

Every time, man, goblins. So does that say I'm good? All right. So you and Bumbenella will come with us. Do you keep calling her Bumblellella? Oh, yeah. Isn't that a name?

It's Polly. Polinella. Oh, Paula Mella. You know, it's kind of close. She's a book. You've got to cut me some slack on that one. Bubonella is a good name, right? Bubonella.

Yes, no. It's lovely. She doesn't seem to mind. I just wanted to verify. Is Bambanella a sister's name, perhaps? It's possible. The beekeeping cyclops did have quite a few bees there. Can you ask Pollenilla? I mean, I could, but it could be a touchy subject. I don't want to get between either of you. I'll ask her.

I'm getting the sense they can't. That would be crazy. It's all body language. That's remarkable. Her outlook unsure. Outlook unsure. Well, we... I don't think he can communicate. Is it just a bee that just follows

him around? He just grabbed her and shook her. I was right. Outlook unsure. This story is getting really complex. What the heck? I never seen anybody do that before. I've seen a grown dandel.

I'd shake a bee in the south of the truck. going to wildly shake us. Griggo what secrets do you have to share with us? This is good new T-Bs. But how long will we live? We all live a funny bee. I feel like I'm suddenly feeling like. But blu-h-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

You have this rock right here. There's a cliff right over here, you guys. I feel like I got a couple of concussions. Make sure they get plenty of rest. Okay, I'll get plenty of rest. That's a good idea. Make sure you sleep immediately. Let's go to bed.

We all stay away. Grigo dies and asleep. He's great to sleep. These are straight and slams in the bed. I think we have an alignment. We've got a side quest on top of the side quest. If we do two side quests at once, then we'll be doing much better than we normally do. Torbeck.

Even if it does mean that we've become hired killer. As Frost says this to you, you begin to lower yourself to the ground. You can only move by crawling around on all fours, and the crawling is always creepy and unsettling. Again? Don't stop, Frost. The last time you did this, you grew a strange mask, and you whispered into my ear about brains. That's coming back. I hope that it does not.

It's like he does this all the time. This is just a tour bag. It feels kind of normal. Look at him, yeah. Yeah, that's just him. It's weird that I can't hear the witchlights sloshing in your tanks. It's like, well, she's gonna want her bottle.

The witch light is stored in the balls. And it's interesting that he says this right now, Gideon, because you become incredibly gullible and you believe everything you were told. Oh, man, the witchlight's torn your balls. I thought it was the tase. I don't think I would trust back. Wait, how do you, but I don't get it,

but how do you get it out when you start fighting, man? It just starts jimmying up here, just straight up from the core, huh? You know how that works. In the pelvic floor, you just get right. Oh, you're one six old bitch, man. Oh, I knew you were messed up, but that's just crazy.

Frost. Who way? You are so sick of these stupid kids. Why is Torbeck doing that again? It's inconvenient. Gideon, what is his obsession with sperm? Good, I'm an asshole again. You are the epitome of the deadly sin of wrath.

Ompheme for the last couple episodes. Will you both stop that. I'm getting tired of you guys talking about Torbeck's bowls. Every hour it seems like. Well, I guess we do talk about Dorbeck's balls a whole lot. Important topic of conversation. conversation. Just because they're more visible when he's on his all fours, doesn't mean that we should be talking

about it. I mean, it's just the fact that when he gets on his all fours, he always turns his hindquarters to us and they hang down like a real good view by him. They hang down like Trudgers stuff. Yeah. I mean, it's like, you know, he looks like a pit bull in heat. I feel like I'm watching Bright and Prejudice and they're just pig walking by. Just waiting until Torback puts on in his 15 and he showers.

Oh, please don't. It makes me very upset. You are watching this unfold, Kremlin. You can't understand why no one is taking this seriously. You will have all become the undead. That's way more important than the balls that Dornbeck is showing off to everybody on all floors. And does this seem like, it's not a new thing

that just feels like we've all been undead for some time? No, you're watching as your friends are turning into the undead, and they don't seem to notice. Oh, no, my contingency plan. This is too soon. What happened? How's it going? Oh.

I'm pretty good, man. Yeah, you know. Feel good? What's going on? I mean, I'm feeling good. Are you feeling good? Are you feeling good? You seem a little unsettled.

No, I'm feeling. And are we all undead? Even you? Okay. No, I'm good. How are you guys doing? Well, okay. I was doing about nuts and pit bulls.

Exactly right. No, Torbanks got huge enough. Mine, can you roll again for me, please? I like extra hairy coconuts. We really should cannon after. Other than all 50. We'll 44, we're crazy. It already is.

The damage is done. It's too far gone and all that. That's right. You know what? I will actually, I'll keep your original one because I think it'll play well with Kremies. You believe you were dead and that no one can see or hear you, even if they say otherwise.

It finally happened. What? I always knew that I would pass on of a silent heart attack in my sleep. Oh! That congenital heart defect that I never got taken care of. Wait, so you know? You had a congenital heart defect

and never got taken care of and you died in your sleep? Oh, my friend, I'll never speak to you again. Wait, so you know you're dead right now. Oh. Why won't you talk to us ever again? I have to live. learn how to be a spooky ghost.

Oh, it's more like a rotting skeleton. Oh, I can't believe. I can't believe that my friend will never speak to me again. Will you shut up, Grico? I guess I better spend some time working on how to be a ghost. Ooh. That's pretty good. It's clearly not a ghost.

It's got spot on. Wow, that's very spooky, Grico. Good job. As this is happening, Argonautil makes her way out of the stone monolith. All right, we've come to a decision. First she sees, like the giant sweet nuts. And as she walks out, you see this undead

Corrid walking towards you. Oh, that's good. All right, Mr. Oh my God, you too. I've got your answer. Did I say the man word too early? There's no way I said. Absolutely not.

I have to apologize for my friends. They're very embarrassing all of the time. Are you feeling okay? No, I'm very upset. How are you feeling? You feeling good? You feel like regular and normal and like flesh having and definitely alive and stuff?

What's going on, man? Why are you asking everybody about them having flesh and whatnot? I'll just be good. I'm making sure. Wait, do you have flesh? What? Yeah, I think so. But not like desiccated and dry,

like creepy zombies. I mean, I think it looks kind of normal to me. I mean. What color is it? You know, red. Okay, okay, good. Well, okay, maybe this is just, you know. Feet's not a bug.

All right, okay. And, uh, what do you think? Well, we've, we've decided that we would love to have your help in the demise of the Brigginox, and we're happy to offer you each one of our stones. All right. We'll spend a little bit of time preparing all of them. We'll provide them till you in the morning before you leave. Are you feeling all right, here to go.

I'll stand to walk up behind her. Is there a reason you're breathing down my next? What are you doing, Gringo? Gringo, that's rude. I'm going to walk over. I'm going to walk over. Is there like a corner? I'm going to look.

I'm going to try to find a corner. Maybe if there's like two stones that are kind of like corner. Sure. Shea, I'm going to walk over. I'm just going to stand there. Man, if someone takes a photo, does you look so spooky. I'm going to look so spooky if someone takes a corner. He's had a long day.

It's what seemed like. Would you like to stand up? Oh, no. It can't be comfortable being down there like that. Torbeck's quite comfortable. He gets a lot more airflow on certain parts of his body. You're not sacks hanging in the wind boy. That's right.

Yeah, feature, not a bug. No, but there is a bug right there next to him. That's normal. Ignore that. All right. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, fuck them. We'll see you soon. Well, should we have like, I don't know,

play some ominous jazz and, you know, maybe a couple of trombones here and there and, you know, just party? Why not, right? Because that sounds like you're... Sure. And then she calls out the rest of the Brighanax, and they don't know how to play ominous jazz,

but they start playing their music again, and they all start to dance around the... Hey, this is close enough. Oh, there's nothing to do when you're dead. How does he not? I guess if no one... I guess if no one can see me, that means I can get naked and run around. Stop it.

Stop it. Wait, see, I'm just swaying in the breeze. We've got enough holes out already. Am I just making this out? They're going to start throwing rocks. God damn it. You see that why is it? Am I just imagining Grico naked?

There's never any naked ghosts. He's undressed. He's never had this dream before. He had dressed. He's an embarrassment to us all. He was always the wisest of us. Berlin is out of party. Do you have some kind of private shelter I could go into?

I would really like to spend some time with myself. We all have tents, wrong. Thank you. Thank you. Jesus. I will immediately pop out my tent and disappear. You do, and as you step inside, the tiled floor meets you first, the stark white walls. You head over to the sink that is in the corner of this, and you're able to wash your hands.

the loan stall is off to the side. I knew you'd be back. Don't say a fucking word, toilet. Don't say a fucking word. You kept you waiting. This is my least favorite of it. I agree. My favorite moment every time it comes.

Every time. It makes me so upset. I'm so upset. I walk over, I turn the water off and I flush so that he doesn't have any water in the tank. That's what you get. I'm going to go to take a nap. Thank you. It's funny that he's dipped off for all that alone, Tom, after Griglin Torbet got naked. Why does he have one cut out in his pants? I always wonder, but maybe this is why, you know.

Don't worry, we don't have to consume water here. It's magic. Please, please stop talking. How does this end? How does this end? My humble is eternal. It isn't my face. I go insane and I burst into flames like the father from hereditary.

Oh, God. No, I try to push him out. of my mind and despite my wrathful brain, I will endeavor to meditate and try to calm myself, feeling the hatred that I feel towards everything around me. You do you. You sit on the tile floor. The toilet, everything.

And the toilet continues to speak to you. Every time you start to get into that moment where you feel like you can meditate and you start to calm your mind, the toilet will say something and then your rage will start anew. And this happens for about another 30 minutes or so. you deal with this until the electricity in the air that was tinged with the little bits of witchlight, those pink lightning arcs that were shooting across the sky.

You eventually notice those fade and you're able to take in a deep breath of cold human, or cold moist air. Well, why don't we turn in and maybe have a nice dinner? What do you think? Although I guess I've never been undead before. Do you the undead need to eat? I guess it depends on the kind of undead. I don't know.

I mean, you'd be the one to say. Well, I don't know. I mean, what am I gonna do if I don't have to eat? Oh, things would be pretty bleak. I mean, eating's half the fun. Wait. Do I even have to breathe anymore? I guess I could just stop breathing.

This doesn't feel very natural. Are you breathing right now? I will stop breathing. You stop breathing. Huh. Kind of uncomfortable, but I can still talk, I guess. Just like any spooky magical skeleton, you know, zombie. Are you really holding your breath right now?

Yeah, no, I'm not breathing about it. You're not breathing all right? Wow! Yeah, well, you... Roll the Constitution saving through both of you. And you would be a disadvantage because you're gullible, so you believe everything he says. Oh, wow. Mesa's really going for it.

For the podcast listeners in the home, Mace is holding his note. his nose and I think actually holding his breath. He's done now. I got a 12. Okay. Con save? Yeah. 19.

Huh. This feels kind of weird. You have about, um... I pass out. You are, oddly enough, you're able to hold your breath far longer than you expected. Cremie, you eventually pass out. I would, but I'm grave touched. I'm grave touched.

Oh. So you actually don't have to. Sleep or breathe. Amazing. Then you don't. It's a feature I gained at level six. But Crummi doesn't know that? We'll switch that because you're gullible.

You're watching him. He is just holding his breath and holding his breath. And if that's true, if you really don't have to breathe and Cremi's not breathing, you know that you can keep going. And so you do 15, 20 minutes pass, and then you pass out. You haven't been talking below that 15 and 20. No, get it. Oh my God.

Wait. You need to breathe? This doesn't make any sense. Oh, God, what if I'm doing? How do I do this? And I start giving the Heimlet maneuver, because I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, please, Brickle help, help.

Brickle help. He's joking. He's a naked ghost. I'm gonna walk. You're naked. Can you still use your magic as an undead? And you'll see Bricklea, with his finger, he walks in the, uh, and he draws in the dirt.

And it says, hey. Please, Gregor, what are you doing? Oh, holy. Howlil? They'll know that I'm greeting them from the afterlife saying hello. What does it mean? Torbeck understand this might be an emergency, but when you make food tonight, Mr. Kremi,

just put Torbeck's in a bowl on the floor. Torbeck can't use his hands. What? God, what's going on? What have I done? Oh, no. It's dead here. Are you actually, are you just Josh and me?

Are you just playing? You are clearly undead. You do not need to breathe. You can stop laying around. It's at this time that your curses faded. Breathe. Oh, my God. You're okay?

Oh, man, I'm seeing stars. Oh, my head's sweating. And why's Grico naked? Oh. God. being I'm, and I am, you are G-A-R-D. Nice. Now they'll know that I'm watching over them.

You know, this is not better when I saw you as a totally desiccated zombie corpse. There wasn't anything flailing around, but this is a lot less pleasant. You're still naked. I'll have you know, this is very, average for a goblin. As I saw it,

a bottle away to my clothes. I'll come out of the head. I finally was able to meditate and relax. I feel much... I turn around and I leave and I go back into my time. Well, we're not zombies anymore, right? What do you think, fellas? Were we ever zombies?

Yeah, we were all zombies for a little bit. Even she was. Even all of them were. Torre will still just take his food in a bowl on the floor. Oh. Oh. Well, forget anything I said about contingency plan or not needing to eat a breather or anything. Okay.

Boys found that they like contingency shirts. They're very nice and soft. Put some fucking clothes on them. Oh. I mean, it kind of feels free. That's why Tourmex is staying on all fours. Everybody in the time. All that feels nice. I feel like it's a bit constraining to wear these.

to wear these now. That's right. I gave away one of the tents, didn't I? Yeah. Well. Doorbacks. No, you have yours. I don't think I do. I didn't give her yours. I didn't buy money. We only bought three of them. Oh, we didn't buy yours. And I gave one away.

So I definitely don't have a tent. So Grico has a tent, Frost is a 10, and we have a 10. Yeah. Grico has a 10? I don't know. Right? I can't remember. Oh, I did. Oh, I did. Because he was threatening to kidnap Luzzi. That's right.

It's a dealer. Yeah, I think I bought everyone but. You did like that time. Yeah, it was funny. It was funny. So we have three tents. We have three tents. I'll come back now.

Okay, fine. Well, I was gonna go on my tent, but. Well, I'm going to set up all of the tents, so. Oh, you'll set up all's too? No, I'm going to set up the tents that I have, and I figured that those of you that don't have tents could use them for the night? May I ask you a favorite?

Sure, of course, Frost. Could we exchange tents? There's something wrong with mine. Yes, no, of course. Here, I'll give you this one. Thank you. And you take that one. This is going to be much better.

I'm not sure what was flawed about that tent, but it'll be nice to get a peaceful rest here. Dormac appreciates you offering a tent, but Dorek didn't really like the experience of the tent and thinks that sleeping under the stars is a little nicer than the dump. Well, so who's going to stay in a lot? which tent? I think the three

of us have a tent, man. They're two out. What? Dormick's going to sleep under the stars. I have a tent. You have a tent? You didn't give your ten up for Hootsey? No, I got it. I had to get, we had to fond gold or something. Oh, man. I forget who has tents. All right. Raise your hand if you have a ten. You got to share one. You guys share one. You share one.

You don't have one, Gideon. You share one with Grimmy. Unless he's going to sleep under the stars, you're going to have to bunk up. with one of us. Yeah, but he gave yours away to that little goblin girl. Oh, I gave 8-10 away, but yeah, it was the worst kid. Oh, what? Oh, man. It looked like a Texas roadhouse.

Well, I don't know. That was very homie, man. Fullstock bar. Just every time I walk. Amble heads all over the walls. I mean, the roads are pretty nice. Oh, the roads were great, man. Oh, it was tacky and I hated it.

It really is much. What? What do you mean? What? Look, mine's way nice when I throw it. out. It's got an eight range gas stove. It's just a kitchen. That's a pretty fancy kitchen, Grammy. What are you cooking up in here, man?

I can stir fry Mongolian beef at 800 degrees. Oh, oh boy! Well, fine. If no one is complimenting on how surprising my physique is, I'm going to go back into my tent that now looks like a Raid Force cafe with a couple of habits out. I'll comment. Your physique is incredibly surprising. You look inside of Cricko's tent, you see the animatronic gorilla from Rainho Forest Cafe. Yeah. Every 30 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How much dry ice do you think they get through? That's remarkable. Okay. I cook dinner. I offer to everyone who would like to eat. You go to sleep? Most of the Korids enjoy. your meal and they seem very pleased by and eventually the party winds down and they all

make their way back to their individual monoliths and each of you finds your way slowly one after another heading to bed, Cremie. Gideon sharing their tent, Torbeck beneath the stars. Omdipur makes his way into his tent with Polinella and eventually Frost. With great trepidation. You make your way back into your tent. And as you step inside, your feet hit on the tile floor. The white fluorescent lighting. I exchanged it. This isn't supposed to happen. There was time now.

I am omnipresent. Three construction workers breakers, tearing the walls down. And you see room 1408 on the door. Wow. Good poll. We all would have a right. Well, this is a nightmare.

And you all get a long rest. Oh. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com

to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. You all enjoy a long rest. Some of you, it's enjoyable more than others. But you do wake up and you're able to make your way outside of your tents. And it looks the same as it had the night before, overcast.

The sky is filled with clouds. The lightning strikes continue to charge. up Motherhorn on the mountain far to the north. And the corids are nowhere to be seen, all except for Queen Argonautil, who is over by the crowns board, setting up a new game and muttering to herself. And she notices you as you begin to move about. And she has, in her hands, a satchel that is clearly full of some more of the luckstones.

Mm. Well, I hope you had a nice night's sleep. Morning. Good morning. Good morning. How'd you sleep? I slept all right. The damn Brighonox were loud as very usual.

I mean, they're gonna be real quiet pretty soon yet. I slept great. So, I was the grave. I mean, I was sleeping good, but every 30 minutes to be done. How's your wee-willy-winky? It was out in the wind for about an hour last. night. Oh, it's, you know what I say? You get a little bit of sun on that? You get a little bit of wind on it.

I've got a bone for that. It's good for your health. I'm health maxing these days and I'm old enough that I got to start health maxing. All right, well, here's your luck. Here's your luck stone. Oh. Oh, in advance. I assumed that you're you were good for your word. Absolutely. I believe that we're magically compelled once we make an agreement like this, right? I'll take mine. And she passes out each of your stove. Nice. I already have mine.

I'll take a second. You know what? I'll hold on to the extra one. We should get one? Mm-hmm. I already have an item that functions like him. Do they stack? It is, yes, because it is, it doesn't require attunement.

That's disgusting. Yeah. Well, technically, you're only supposed to get one, but I'm the DM and I can do what I want. I'm just, because I had gotten from saving that guy from the cage, he gave me that rose. Yeah, yeah, no, for this one specifically, it's in the module. You're only supposed to get on. I see. But I'm the DM and can do whatever I want and give each of you one or two or three if I choose.

No, no, obviously. I'll pay the price for it later. Wait a minute. I'll take the actual one. He's already got two. I'll take two. Yeah, there we go. Five years.

You remember that I have two. I don't know. And she'll hand it over to you. Okay. Is this just called a luckstone? Stone of good luck. Stone of good luck. Stone and will not show up.

Yes, Stone of good luck. This is very annoying. All right, Amden Poe, you ready to? Well, yes, Paul and I had a nice night's sleep. I'm feeling quite refreshed. I would like a steaming cup of coffee. If anyone would like to join me around the fire, we could share a good story, or a wax philosophical,

if you would like. Yeah, make some coffee, why don't you? Well, I suppose I could. You always make it so. I feel like a dollop of honey in yours? Oh, honey and coffee, huh? Yes. You know, I've had honey and tea.

I've never thought to put honey in coffee. Oh, gosh. Has no one ever done that? I don't know. Not sure. Do it every morning. Not sleep very well? No, I'm great.

You know, I feel like every 30 minutes I was woken up by a violent rainstorm and howling gorillas. And elephants. That's very funny. Nice. I'm in a bath, brother. That seems self-inflicted.

Here it goes. Oh, I don't know. I don't know why that was happening. Oh, gosh. I think Gideon's percolating. Oh, I can't wait. Well, should we plan? Wins and, you know, is there a specific angle,

the cave to stay as stealthy as possible? Well, listen. Oh, no, you're not talking to me. I'll make the coffee. There you go. Yeah, go out. Do they sleep? Like, shouldn't we go under the cover of darkness

if we're slitting throats? I'm not sure if they sleep, they. What? They're making noises at all hours of the day. Oh, they're definitely evil then. It's possible that they work in shifts to be absolute nuisances. They work in shits?

In shifts. Oh. Okay, shifts. Well, who the heck cares? We'll just burst in the front door and kill them straight to their faces. Well, there are two things that I, well, three things I can tell you about getting down there.

First off, this is going to be a treacherous perilous journey. The cliffside is quite steep and there's really no way around just brute force in it. When you get down to the bottom, you'll find some statues of correts. We place those down there to make them afraid of leaving the mine. They are harmless. You can avoid, you can just walk around them. Did it work? They haven't left, so.

They just stay nearby and make this sound. There's no kind of like, protection magic or some kind of curse, or hex, or nothing? No. It's just spooky statues? They're just statues of us, yes. Oh, they're all right.

But there is something you'll need to do to get in. They've placed an enchantment on the entrance of the mine. Oh, shit. And you'll have to, you'll have to make a wish to enter. Oh, I was hoping for a speak friend and enter, but, uh. So you might have to, you might want to take some time to think about it. I do believe it has some sort of ramification, so. Make sure what you're wishing for is sound and truth.

Torbeck knows what he's going to wish for. We're just going to wish for something in the mouth of this cave and it's going to grant it, and then we get to go in and kill all the brigadots? I'm not saying it's going to grant your wish. I'm saying you have to offer up a wish. It could take it away for all I know. Oh, God. It's always tricks you.

Torbeck has a plan. It literally can't fail. Torback's ready. All right. A wish. That's all it takes. It's all it takes to get in. And then you'll be at the whims of the Brighornocks.

We can't help you once you're inside. But we will be with you in our hearts. So just know that should you ever make your way back up to Lockbury Henge, you've got an entire, you've got an entire kingdom, queendom, of cords at your side. And should you ever need us in battle and fight? Should you ever need our allyship or friendship or just a good dance, is your kin of the cords now.

I'll be back for perhaps another game sometime in the future. And I will be prepared to win this one. Practice. Well, I appreciate that, and, you know, who knows, if we ever decide to make a move against old bitter end, we may need some... We would march alongside you gladly. Oh, heck, that's cool.

If you put together an army and you go to war against the old hag. That's on the plan right. now, but that's, you know, planning. But should it might happen. It may not, not happen. You should be prepared for that. You should absolutely prepare for that. He will blow the horn of war.

Yeah. And I'm just practicing the ABCs like I always do, so I'm just trying to think, you know, contingencies and contingencies. Yeah, Crummy's really good at the AB skis. Skes. Cs. Cs?

Yeah. Gosh. I thought it was A, B, skis, D's. He's what? What book comes next? Yeah, I mean, what's after D's? You can't get any further than the alphabet? Is it perhaps E's?

I mean, that would make sense, the electrical progression of the alphabet being what it is. I suppose, man, I'm no master of the alphabet. But why is it not E's, B's C's? Hmm. I'm still stuck on the D's, man. The world may never know. Anyways.

Is coffee done? Oh, yes, the coffee is done. I'm good. No, no, my coffee's done. All right, I'm the poor, all right. Would you like a... You mean one fucking cup, kid? No, man, well, yeah, I made one cup.

What? You guys are I want a coffee? Make a whole ass fucking bug, yeah. Oh, man. I don't know. I'm not saying make you coffee. You should have specified, man. Every coffee cup I make is made with love. Would you like a little, a little bit of cinnamon

for your hot temper? God. I'm not a hot temper. I'm not a lot of little head. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. He just got to shut up. He's flying up.

No, he didn't. No, not always flying on. Yeah. Why are you guys over there looking at me like that? Yeah. I think, I mean, Gideon is a kind of guy to get court ordered anger matters. After like causing like, you know, like, uh, grievous permanent injury. All right?

Yeah. Watch this one. Yeah. Hey, Gideon, did you forget to take your denial pills today? What do you mean? I don't take denial. No, I don't take denial bills, man. You forgot to take it.

No, I don't, Torbick. I don't take denial bills, right? No, what do you mean? I don't know. Stop doing that. You didn't win this. You don't forgetful. Ging me the cinnamon. He starts to, he starts to, uh,

to grate some cinnamon over your coffee. Damn it! Would you like a dollop of cream? Well, that sounds pretty nice, actually. He puts a dollop of cream, he passes you a steaming mug of coffee. I take it. a fucking cup of coffee. Alright, I'm working a pot now, okay?

I'll get started on the rest. Oh, wait. No, no, no, you sit down. I've got the coffee, Gideon. Oh, okay, well, all right. That's been shuffled off the Omdibor. So, hopefully, good bye. Oh, I'm gonna get Omn, well.

You know, you know what, it's gonna be nice. He's gonna be nice, all right? He's got like honey and beans. And he works on one he does with love. Would you like some cinnamon as well? I know. I'll take some honey and cream, actually. Absolutely, one dollar of honey and little cream.

Cream, one dollop or two of the cream. Oh, dollops of cream. I'll take two, you know what? Right, an extra dollop for you, Cribee. And he passes you a coffee with two dollops of cream. Torbeck. Would you like some coffee?

Or would you, you know what, for you, would you like to eat the grounds? This is the greatest day. Dorbeck's life. He gives you a cup filled with grounds and then the honey comb that doesn't have the honey in it anymore. There's still a little bit, but it's the comb

itself and he puts that in there. Here you are, Torbeck. Grounds are going everywhere. Oh, man. Grinko, would you like some coffee? Grinco, that's me cousin's name. He had a congenital tail.

He was always more popular. Fuck that guy. Could you maybe a couple of Hot Jones? Absolutely. Why, do you have Hot Jones here? Nice! Yes. You see he takes the Jones out of his pocket

and as the Jones is screaming, he's pounding it into a pulp. inside of a mortar and vessel. Oh my God. Motherfucker. He makes you a steaming mug of hot Jones. Would you like a dollop of cream or some honey or some butter? Oh.

I'm health-maxing, so I'll take some butter. Yeah, slices off a pad of butter and he watches it melts into the hot Jones and he passes it to you. Frost, would you like some coffee? Buttery hot Jones. Hot butter Jones. Would you like a warm saucer of cream?

Actually, if you could just drown my Jones in a mug of milk. Absolutely. He reaches and he pulls out another Jones. It starts to scream as he drops it into a boiling pot of milk. Frosty likes his with pulp. He takes a spoon and he's like, every time it screams and like raises above the frothing milk, he like lowers it down. Oh, but not just pulp.

Make sure it's some pulp. With how angry he's been lately, I don't want to piss him off. Oh, yeah, yeah. It'll be fine, I can handle it. He ties you with some pulp. He takes the slotted spoon and begins to smash the Jones against the edge of the pot. I'll make sure there's a healthy amount of pulp.

But not too much. Not too much. I appreciate it. And then he passes it to you. Thank you. Oh, Jones pulp his towel. Hot butter Jones. Hmm.

Y'all look sick folks. No, you just don't have any taste. You just don't have any taste. You haven't been hot Jones peeled yet. You know, don't worry. Still time. You need to try us. Yeah, don't worry.

It's filled with protein. Anyways, we should be going. Oh, what do you think, fellas? I got sprinkles on mine. Oh, you were held max. Oh, you were held max. I'm a bit of a cheap. It's what he says every morning.

I don't know. Yeah, it's fun of using a shirt. I'm going to substitute. Oh no, it's Mount at all. Oh, wow. Oh, come on. Grigo's gonna be shitting for it. Whenever we get down the mountain now.

Oh, no. No, it's a medical condition. I've I've been shitting. I'll be, I'll be right back. I'm just gonna go back to my tent. I open door. Hoo, who, who. You're like.

You know. I should have told him I'm going to go to my tent. I should have told him I'm going to mine ten. That's pretty funny. Oh, we go down the what you call. The treacher steep cliffs. You spend about an hour. You spend about an hour.

Rock face. Crater. Crater. You spend about an hour saying your goodbyes to the corids. They send you off with a satchel filled with dried meats and cheeses and some breads and some other things to make sure that in your journeys that you are well fed, they do their best to give you as many pointers as they can, what little they know about the bridge. You don't learn much more. And it is with joy and a new friendship that you begin to make your way down the cliff face.

It is an arduous journey. There are many places where you have to genuinely climb down the rock face. So I need you all to make dexterity saving throws to see how well you do, traversing the first half of this journey. I got a 29. You do pretty well.

What's the check? Dexterity saving throw. Oh, save through. Which Luckstone doesn't affect. Oh, no, it does. It's plus on saving throws. Oh, it's a $1. Yeah.

Holy shh. That's not a tax roll. That's why it's not a tax. That's why in the book you only give the party one of them. I got a 10. I got a 26. 23. 24, because I rolled the natural.

Jeez. What did you get? I rolled it 27. I wrote a 19. I wrote a 19. Wow. Wow. We all rolled doubles.

What did you roll in there? A 10. All four of us are running down the crowd. Richard, I don't know if you know that. That's your twin brother. Yeah, I don't know why I thought you do it. That's your twin brother. Oh, Brico, the, uh, every time he finds a foothold, he finds he has to shit his pants.

Oh, he never trust a part. Oh, God, you are. You are all making your way down this clip, this clip face. And you are, including Omdipur, you're all incredibly agile, except for Grico. Before you left, one of the corids gave you a bag of gummy corids. But you didn't know that they were diet. They were sugar-free gummy corns. And you've just been eating them nonstop.

I like a bad ass. And occasionally, you find. that you do have IBS, I be shitting. And it makes it really difficult for you. It doesn't cause you to tumble down the rock face, but through the collective helping of your friends who are all doing incredibly well, they are able to brown pants and all get you down to.

Grigo, you seem cramped and falling. You seem to be falling to your friends. You seem to be falling to your death. And you smell like you shit your pants three hours ago. Oh, he's toast. Oh, no, this is okay. Oh, it's okay. This happens to us far too long, dude.

Keep up, Grico. It's like find a rock or something, Grico. Go behind a boulder. Yeah, we can stop. We're all doing fine on this cliff. We can take a break. Was that gonna help? I think it's one of those things

we just gotta get through it. Yeah, we just gotta get there. If I ask you, you need help and you say depends again, then... Oh. Paul Nella, if he takes a tumble, can you save him? Are you big enough of that?

Well, she's large for a bumblebee, but she could not hold up a goblin of this size. Oh, well, you hear that, Greg? Well, you don't. One wrong movie. I mean, you'll tell you. That's it.

No saving you. Actually, wait, hold on, I've got just the solution here. Why don't you take this? And I give you my bombing lily pad. Like, kind of literally just fly with this? Yes. You begin to plummet as the lily pad requires attunement of an hour.

It requires attunement. It requires an tunement. You need to spend it. I figure you could shit for an hour and, oh, hey, he's gone. I'm trying to breath The Wild. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Try to Breath of the Wild. Try it. Oh, no. You are luckily when this happens close enough to the Midway Point, this Crater Lake, as it were, that you do, you do take quite a tumble. You're going to take, you're going to take three points of bludgeoning, fall damage, bludgeoning damage as you, as you slam into the ground.

But aside from that, you're all able to make it fairly unscathed to this point. Sorry. It is here that you find yourself on this almost like another plateau of the mountain. It is fairly flat, aside for the deep crater in the very middle that's been filled with rainwater. Circling around it are these eight incredibly large. stone pillars, each one of them topped with a copper brazier. You see as you're looking forward that there is what appears to be a very attractive elf in a boat or seems elf-like, Faye, definitely, in the very middle of this lake heading towards one of

the braziers. He has some sort of torch in his hand. His skin His skin is a very pale green. From here you can see that his hair seems to be made out of wisteria flowers, his beautiful purples and pinks, as they hang down almost to the middle of his back. Very wisterious. You see bits of moss clinging to his incredibly elongated ears. Even from this far, you can see that he is very beautiful,

As he heads towards one of these beacons, he's able to dock at the base of it as he scales up the beacon and lights it. He climbs back down, gets back in his boat, heads to the next one as he's about halfway up to the next beacon. You watch as a group of peritans fly towards the beacon and begin to flap their wings incredibly quickly as the beacon goes out. You hear an exclamation of frustration. You can hear almost dry sobbing. This person is incredibly devastated, incredibly torn down and beaten by this. You see as their body slumps over for just a moment before they continue their climb to light the next one. You watch this happen for four beacons.

And you realize that this is... the place where the you were told the the prince of the summer court or the spring court or some court of the Fay Wild was trapped here eternally until they could get all of the beacons lit

and they would be able to create a portal back to wherever they wanted to go that it would unlock the ability for you to create a portal wherever you wanted to go. Looking at this you think there are more than enough of you, including

him. If each of you took a beacon, you could probably light them all at once. That could be a solution. And you realize that even though you have this plan stretched out for what you're going to do with the Brighanax, this is an opportunity. This is a portal to anywhere. If you wanted to go back to the Witchlight Carnival, you could. If you wanted to go back to Agway, you could. If you wanted to go somewhere in the Fay Wild, somewhere other than Yon, you could. If you wanted to go to the Palace of Hearts Desire, this could be an opportunity. And as you watch all of this play out, the Periton circling ahead of you,

you realize that you have a choice that needs to be made here. Do you pass up this opportunity for a portal anywhere, or do you continue on to the Brighenock Mine? And that is where we'll end the session. Oh, what a great session. Wow.

That's awesome. No, I think that's a great end point. I was so ready, though. I was so ready to do it out. Don't let me forget, as soon as we start this section next week, Frost will lean forward and say, do you think his name is Mavis?

That's very funny. That's very funny. I got that. Yes, Michael. Did sleeping in the rainforest cafe given the sounds of the gorillas and the elephants and the beasts within, does that allow me to change my subclass to Moodrook?

No, but I allow you to change your subclass to Moodrook. Welcome, Grick of the Moodgrove. Welcome, Drickland. Brick on Mood. I think we should have some other discussions at certain things. Yeah.

Oh. Oh, thank you. I mean, I'm just gonna say it. I'm gonna say it right here so that we just don't have to worry about it anymore. If you guys need to make changes to your character so that it's more fun for you, it just automatically has my seal.

I'm gonna play the UA Mystic. Just make sure you let me know when you've done it and what it is. Otherwise, yeah, go for it. I don't care. If you're gonna have more fun, then I'm gonna have more fun. I'm gonna multi-class the UA Mystic

Except for you, you can do nothing. You can make no choices. That's actually very thematic for the fact that the Eldridge Abomination toilet is corrupted. In your tent. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventras podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl

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