Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 64 | A Bridge Too Far

Episode Date: July 21, 2025

The party encounters not one, but three trolls...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/pOYpZQAKIhs?si=J5HhuGgz7hstSsYY

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. Torbeck's name is Torbeck, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. We have it on good authority that this beef farm is unethical. What are you being? Hey, Annan't you been awfully quiet, aren't you? What's the only saying? What are you talking to, Tupac?

He's not arguing with him, but he doesn't, it's very clear he doesn't believe what Tupac is saying. Look, look, I don't think we're going to solve this home beekeeper giant thing. Why don't we just go meet Molly? Wait a minute. No, no, no, no. No more waiting for any more minutes. Some minutes. You're going to start and see you a little fishy.

Yeah, please elaborate. Like, everybody here what hates each other is actually a bunch of, like, fairly decent, well, meaning people just trying to live the best life they can. Even the sidewalks. And they've all been tricked into turning their eye and hatred toward each other, so they all stay distracted and easily controlled. Yeah, so, perhaps. Thetern is emerging.

We're here looking for gleam. And for a way through to Enderlin's castle. We understand there's a tunnel connection. Yes, there is. But Obert control, he doesn't let anyone in that tunnel. We're going to have to have a conversation, though. We're going to have a very tough conversation. You have to go over the bridge.

Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. We're not just one, but three. Wait, hold on. Three trototos on the bridge? Ah, is your lucky day, Gregon. The spicy chicken around.

from Nando's. That's garlic bread instead of croutes. It's unbelievable. Frost, what the fuck are you talking about? All this shit is me. Like, yeah, it's just chicken on bread. It's pretty good. It's pretty good.

I get jaded the bees, but not for like 30 bucks. You're going to fuck you guys. I'm going to bed. His wings are fucking slimy. You wake up in the morning and your bellies are still full of the cheeky nandos from the night before. Not too full, though, that you can't appreciate the beautiful breakfast spread that has been laid out before you. As all of the residents of this Brighamock town have set up a breakfast buffet, anything you could possibly hope for or want as part of your breakfast desires are here laid out in front of you.

Molly is spending time with Tupac, and everyone seems incredibly happy to see it. Oh, nice! They got Jim Anthony Dean Follow Me sandwiches. That's way better than Cheeky Nando's. I hate that I have to write this down. Oh, it's cold in the middle. That's okay. What are we doing again? Are we gonna go? You have to cross the bridge

to get to Obud's Grotto in the hopes that you can gain his permission to enter in Motherhorn through the secret passage at the end of the cave. And by diploma secret, it means he wants to plow some trolls. He wants to pay that troll, too. Yeah.

Oh well, let's live. I guess. Yeah, I mean, he goes first to sacrifice myself. And they're also a very rich, And they're also a very real chance that Griggo's killed terribly. He's just upset about it would have been chewy all over. Oh, yeah, it's okay. Why is it a sour push?

Why would they reduce the number of players from four to three? I mean, we get, we, I often had given you a journey and just walked away. Before we don't say, oh no, you're okay anymore. I'm not gonna wait. If there were four players, then I would play. Have you tried writing a strongly worded letter? The rounds are also like 20 seconds long, bro. I am going to write a letter.

Well, I mean, how much does this one board game cost? You've got to think about the margins and injection mold of plastic ain't cheap, Ross. Think about how much money they save by making the three players. That raises a good question. Molly, where did you get these board games? Did you pay for them? Do you know anything about the manufacturing costs? They came from wishes.

Oh. Oh, they came from wishes. Oh. So that's free. I'm wishing's free Frosty wishes Anyone that wants one Can have one because of wishes

So just to be clear Someone wished the game Like this It wasn't even made this way Frost Someone wished for this There's a psycho out there Maybe they only had two friends

Maybe they only had two other friends To play Louvre and Chewy with I'll ask oh bud Perhaps he'll have an understanding Of where this wish came from So if I can track them down If you want a different version of it, I'm sure I can get you one.

Oh, if there were a four-player loop and chewy, that would be bad. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Ross, you can just wish for a five-person version. You have any idea how long the green arm would be? But we do have a five-version loop and chewy, but four, that would be ridiculous. No, no, no, no. Okay, just some Torbeck understands.

Forge's just bad desire. You're trying to say that three is too little, but five is right out. Torbeck doesn't understand this. I would play five. There's nothing wrong with five. You just said it would be two. You just had the cradle of the original. Dramatically, I thought you were talking about like a 20 or 30 seat game of Lipp and Louie.

That's outrageous. Torbitt said five. I didn't hear five. And you're all in front of blue sad. Yeah. My road was a little tight today. What's going on with Frost guys? I'm going to have more walk.

I think Lupin Chewy really got him up on the wrong side of the appendix moment. Yeah. And why is he one? to find the person who made the wish probably to dig something. He kept muttering him about it would take something. He said he over made this, I want to take something. He's just extremely ominous and threatening. We should have said that kind of stuff back in the day.

Yeah, but then you immediately let them know that you mean no good. He's probably going to Google stuff about this later. Can we go back to the door of wishes? If we go back to the door of wishes, we could make unlimited wishes, right? No, it was just a free. It was free. It was free. They took all, they stole all of them.

Presumably they reset. Well, yes, I know that they stole all of them. Perhaps we can make them this time. And now that we're allies of the brigadocks, we could keep them. Right? Well, we've got a point, I guess. I mean, they're going to rob us twice.

They'd be crazy. Well, if you want your wishes back, you're going to have to get to Obed. Because once they're refined, the good ones are delivered to him. And the bad ones are tossed into Rivenwish cabin, which is where you have to traverse. to get to him.

Oh, what? So there's a bunch of, like, scary wishes that we gotta go through and, you know, but some from crazy adventures? Yeah, she told us that they whispered to you and sometimes you get pulled in. Was that last week? Yeah.

They make you want to give in to your darkest desire. See, so Torbeck's gone right over the edge. Uh-oh. Wait, is that before or after the troll? Well, it could be both. It could be part of the deepest darkest desire. The trolls are at the very middle of the bridge. Oh. Well.

Does anyone want cake for breakfast? Yeah, Torbeck does, yeah. Well, you share with me. I'll take the little piece and you can have the rest. Torbeck would be honored. And Torbeck would even take the little piece because Torbeck is used to not getting any cake and it's just happy to have some.

I like little things. Can I have the little piece? Yeah, if that makes you happy, Torbeck's fine with that. She rushes up the moment that The moment the frost starts talking, she just runs away and goes and grabs cake. Sweet! I'll take a whole cake. She brings, it's like a four-tiered cake with like drippy pink frosting and sprinkles all over it.

Dessert for breakfast? Yes, absolutely. If my daughter would hear, I would be so cross that you would say that she should have dessert for breakfast. No, I'm thinking I don't want. How come? No, you're right. What's she's right? We should have pancakes and cinnamon rolls and monkey bread and muffins and muffins and

and french toast and frosted flakes. I'm gonna have a Boston Creek donut. Yeah, I'm gonna buy them a bunch of donuts. What about French toast? Yeah, and French toast, exactly right. Derserk for breakfast, what? You're gonna just pull you an appetite for a Russian day and get calories.

I know, I can't wait. And then she cuts off a slice of, a small slice of cake, and then hands you the rest of the four-tiered cake. Oh, thank you. And I will take a large piece of cake, but I will then share the rest with Gideon and whomever else. But I'll give some cake to Gideon.

It has strawberry in the middle. Wow, that's delicious. What are those called again, Griggo? Ben-Ys. No, I don't got no Ben-Yea. See, that's a proper breakfast. Oh, no, we got Benji-Yos. Get it over there on the table.

No, no, no, no, no, don't listen to that. Don't listen to that. What? Why not? These are Jim Anthony Dean Tholomew Tholomew breakfast sandwiches, del arts. Jim Anthony Dean Tholome. Jim Anthony being Dean Follom you.

Do you need to be careful with those, though? They were created with a moderately evil wish, and so they're very cold in the middle. Yeah, they're really cold. I can't stop eating it. Are they delicious, though? That's considered moderately evil? Yeah.

And someone's looping chewy wish got through? That's what we can. Who judges me? Yeah, it actually raised a really good question. On a scale of like one to ten, 10, want me a good wish, 10 to be totally evil. Where does lukewarm sandwiches fall across loop and chewies? Oh.

Number value would be very out. The lukewarm sandwich is probably a six. Oh, cool. Lou Gehuis a two. Oh, wow. Is the lower numbers the better one? Yeah, well, in the example, Torbac, gave you this one is good, 10 is a river.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Hold on. Luke warm sandwich is different than what's going on here. The outside is popping fucking steaming hot. Oh, yeah, it's on size. It's frozen. Well, it's an inconsistent breakfast sandwich. You never know if it's going to be frozen in the middle or slightly warm,

which is almost worse than cold. But loop and chewy? Yes. Crazy. I'm going to stick with my frosty place. Guys, that's crazy. They're satisfactory. I'm pretty sure that the meat in this is sausage. I'm pretty sure.

What else could it be? I mean, it could be muskrat, it could be possum, it could be rat, it could be mouse, it could be vol. Why could it be any of those things? It could be be a bear. It could be... Borgs pretty distinct. Ail mouse. I thought it was Jim Anthony Dean Thoremu.

What? The meat and sandwiches is made from Jim Anthony Dean Beethonimo. This is ratcheting right up the fucking basket. I told you they were a six. Oh no, Gringo, what have you done? Is Jim Anthony Dean Follivu some immortal regenerating god that what donates his ever-growing flesh to the porcine delights of breakfast goers?

He's a delfeshny. I don't know. I don't know the meaning of the world. I guess it is still salsa, yeah. It is so filled with sodium. Oh, we get it's a box of toasted sticks. This seems right up my alley. I get a bowl, and I dump it out.

It's a cigarette. It's on this beautiful box that's covered in a galaxy of colors. It's quite beautiful. I'm meaning to refill this. And I take out my cigarette holder and I'll refill it up and then I'll take one. I take my cigarette holder out and I'll... I'm good. Well, thank you for breakfast, and for the Nandoes and board games.

It's been a wonderful respite, very nourishing in comparison to the usual trials and tribulations of this strange realm. Do you think you're going to head to Open Scroar today, or we're going to have another day of fancy free frolicing? Well, all of the food has essentially been eaten, except for that untouched box of grape nuts, I think that we can move on. Hey, Frost! Yeah. What's a great... It's unclear. Would you try one?

Yeah, I don't want to try anything once. No! No! Who would make that? That's a 10 out of 10 right there. Tessie, most evil wish Torbex ever tasted ever! Give you to write more cigarettes. There you go.

We leave. Okay. All right, goodbye then. You'll be back here. We're probably going to progress on to speak with O'Bud, and then I imagine if we can find the secret. Gleam? Oh, yeah, Glems in here somewhere.

She headed to O'Bud just a few days ago. Yeah, she made the trek across the bridge, I think. Yeah, and don't worry, we ain't going to go on the muddle. Merva. Are you having a stroke? Yeah. Pretty much non-stop. Did you crush your teeth with Rembrandt cold sore medication

because you're drooling all over yourself? Not all the Jimithy what we're eating. No, my, I used my favorite toothpaste preparation age. I'm really here on age now. That's serious. It was very funny. It keeps me up to pros of me. It keeps me in Mitchie France.

Oh, that was intelligent. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah, so we gotta go back to go see that cyclops anyway, so we can't go on the mother for him. Right. So we'll see around. We'll swing by for another cheeky nandoz and a board game.

So you're going to leave now and come back later? I think so. Isn't that what we're doing? If we live, we will certainly be back. Mm-hmm. We promise we'll be back. If we live. Well, we gotta go get our wishes back, right? I mean, that's what...

We gotta go find them wishes. And we got to go fund at Salklops before we make it up to Mubblehorn. I thought we didn't have to find Scyclops anymore. I thought he, we knew he was like a good guy or something. No, we still didn't like figure out his deep. Yeah, we got to confirm and then possibly expose Amnibor for being a psycho. Excuse me. I have not a psycho at all. Oh, grape nuts.

Oh, my God. We've got it. We've got to shuffling the breadnuts. We've got to vote for a lot. We roll for initiative. just office space Amdiport for like 30 minutes. Amdipur is the fax machine.

Wasn't there something else we were supposed to be doing? What do you mean? Crossing the bridge, breaking out troll chicks. Oh, we've got to pick up some hot troll shit. Yeah. That was something for longer ago, I think. Something about

tornado wrecks. Something folded, like paper or something. Origami. If you're referring to the the shows that are being put on. Yeah. Oh, the Mama's troops.

Oh. Maybe it was to go link up with old old Snake-assnake Jr. Yeah. Oh, remember, the Norfolk members are down. And the Mama's false is almost done. There wasn't anything else?

Sometimes you say very profound things. We have the Motherhorn Amphitheater program here, and we have a wanted poster. for actors of all kinds still. Yeah, that's probably it. We should go. Yeah, we gotta get costumes, I guess.

Oh, yeah, whatever. I'm gonna point on another plate. Thanks for the Nando's. It was fine. Oh, you're welcome. I'll make you to let the grub know what your review is when I leave the tip. Oh, the grub was great, leaving the five stars.

Oh, five stars, five stars. Yes, yes. Yeah, I love a good chicken burger. You might want to leave the preparation H. for the grub so he can get that ring off. It didn't look good. I feel like that's the end. What does two parts have to do with that ring?

I'm just giving an easier time coming off, you know? Arm and hammer. Well, we're going to go find them trolls. We'll be back. All right. As soon as he figured out the thing. Well, I believe Topic is coming along with you to get you to Rivenwish and over.

So, tough. So, well, thank you for spending time with us. It was really lovely meeting all of you. Yeah. And by the way, you know, you should probably put aside your differences. I can't remember why you guys are fattening, and I don't only remember anymore. But you should put aside your differences with the decorants. Oh, of course.

We could never do that. Oh, do we not tell you about everything? They're like totally chill. They also hate end up everything. Yes, yes, you're actually allies. You just don't know it because we believe you're being deceived, both of you. What? No, that's not much I can do about that, but it might be something you want to let open, no.

Okay, we can do that. Yeah. Well, we'll tell him. Yeah. All right. We'll pass it along. Tubmick, whenever you're ready. And then you see Tupac run over.

He's got a little pack strapped to his back. looks like he's dressed up to become an adventurer as he rushes over to you. Oh gosh, I'm so excited to go over a River Witch Cavern or be no, bud. Yeah, everything's gonna be fine. Yeah, I'm definitely gonna make it over. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm scared about the troll. No, I can walk right between their legs and just go straight over. What about the evil wishes? That part's a little bit scary on, oh, the wind. Wind. Oh, yeah.

The wind, the evil wind. can just knock you off into the chasm. As long as there's not the one true scariest thing in the universe there, then I'm not gonna afraid. Well, we're not gonna talk about that. Well, how am I gonna know? I could tell you since there if you tell me it is. I've always referred to tornado wrecks.

Are we gonna run into tornado wrecks for a third fucking dais? Did you wanna play another game with tornado wrecks before really? No, no, no, no. You're just mad because they win every game. Yeah, you always fucking winning. I don't know how he's doing that. Just special, I guess. Okay, Tupper.

Are you ready for the adventure of a lot of time that certainly won't lead any deaths? Let's go. We've got quite the truck. We've got about an hour's track there, and then we get to the cavern, and then it's gonna take us however long it takes us to get over.

With Grico, I'd say probably about nine minutes. Oh, you're all that long? Well, I can get you. I don't know you fought so highly. I was assuming three rounds. I don't know, you saw so. I was like, four and a half hours, maybe. I didn't know you believe so much.

Of course I do. We're going. I can't wait to see how to play that. I think it's going to take more than nine minutes to walk across the cavern. Well, not with that attitude. On your feet, I guess. How else would you do it?

You're too young. When you're older, you'll understand. You see, when you need to black. When you need a troll, Goblin loves a troll. Very much. We fade to black and something worth the bridge. And it gets to last call, usually all that's left are the other trolls.

Any port in a storm. Any cave troll in a storm. But you're already 12 parts deep. I don't really know what any of that means, but what I do know is you're still my favorite person. Will you hold my hand while I'll lead you to Raven Wish Cavern? Oh, that's very sweet. Oh yes, we're gonna go on a lovely adventure.

Yeah, okay, let's go. Do you skip sometimes? because I do. Well, I am sometimes known to be coordinated. I play a little bit of hobby scotch. Don't worry, be a trip, I'll help get back up. And then Tupper's start skipping as he holds your hand. He begins to make his way to Raven Wish Cabber.

Oh, Tudelie, Tudelo. Off on an adventure, but no one will perish. It takes about, Tupperi's right. It takes about an hour. You imagine you could have gotten there a lot faster if you knew the way and you didn't have Tupik with you. He's significantly smaller than the rest of you. and his strides just not as big.

And so it takes almost double the amount of time it would have taken if you didn't have him. But the caverns that you have to wind through are something you would not have been able to navigate on your own. And so having him with you was a godsend. And eventually you hear that you're coming towards the cavern far sooner than you see it. These sounds of the rushing wind through this space

is like whistling in the Appalachian Mountains. It sounds horrifying. and you probably shouldn't do it. And you feel this sense of dread as you get closer and closer and closer to this place before you eventually make your way out of this narrow tunnel and you are on a small stone bridge, natural stone bridge that gets narrower and narrow and narrower

and narrower towards the center and then starts to spread out again towards the end. This is a huge expansive cavern. You can see that deep, deep, deep, down beneath it, the dark purple and red illumination from the wicked wishes that have been deposited here. And even though they're so deep into this cavern, the malevolence of them can be felt even up here.

You feel yourself feeling a little sick to your stomach at first, and then you notice intrusive thoughts, the call of the void, things that you normally wouldn't give in to that are becoming a little harder to stave off. You think about things that you are ashamed that you've thought about, things that you wouldn't admit to your friend or your therapist.

And you shake it off for a second, and you realize that the longer that you stand here at the edge, the harder and harder it is to remain yourself. You feel a little, just a little bit wicked. Topic looks out, and you see that on the opposite end end of the cavern there is this beautiful cave mouth that's shrouded and hanging vines. You can see moisture on the air and moisture on the rock wall. And you can even hear the sound of waterfall off in the distance.

It's a stark difference from where you're standing now to what's on the other end. As Tupac tugs on your hand and looks up at you, right over there across the wave, that's all of its corner. It's beautiful. That's where all the good wishes go. What's terrified? Well, we gotta get over there first, and he goes to step forward as a gust of wind rockets by.

And we'll see if he's able to stay. Yep, there it goes. He's holding on Grico's hand, right? Yeah, he's holding onto Grico's hand. So he gets to roll at advantage. Uh-oh. He is picked up by the wind. And if he had not been holding onto your hand,

Grico, he would have been completely knocked on this bridge and thrown down into the cavern, the chasm. He holds onto your wrist tightly. You can feel him shaking there next to you, and he looks up at you. His eyes are big with fear. Um, um, I don't think I could go with, you know,

but I don't think I'm gonna make it a cross. No, this is a tub and death machine. Why are you trying to cross this thing? Well, I thought it could. I thought I was an adventurer now. I thought you said that you crush it all the time. No, I said that we do. is it the Brickadox?

I've never been. This was going to be my first time. Oh, yikes. Torbick would suggest maybe, like, you know, lashing all of ourselves together with anyone, be able to kick Grico off the edge. Yeah.

One of us goes, then the rest of us are going to have a harder time to stay it on. Yes, we can't tie ourselves together. We'll all perish if one falls. Why don't we just send Grico to fucking deal with it? Then we pay the Troto, and then we go, right? Is that fine?

Will it turn off the wind? No. No, it's a, no. Oh, unrelated. The trolls are at the very center. You can walk all the way along the first half as much as you want. But once you get to the center, you can't get to Open's Grotto unless the trolls let you through. How are you going to do the nasty with that crazy wind coming insane?

Oh, that's the process, Toby. And the pathway is so fit at the center because it goes like this and then it like this. Oh, you're going to take the trolls one at a time. He called me evil can evil. I live on the edge. Little topic, you have succeeded your first adventure by escorting us to the bridge. Your adventure is complete.

I grant you the great heroes medallion of the guiding the adventurers to the bridge that's complete and also the trolls were there. I give you some use of, I probably have something. I have the back of a clue card that I accidentally stole my pocket. I accidentally stole. And it is the lead pipe.

Oh, my. Ah, fitting with you. The card is like almost the same size as Tupper. It's quite large. Four topic. He holds onto it. As he looks up at you, you can see his water line begin to fill with happy tears. as he looks down.

I've never, I've never received any kind of performance certificate or reward or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or ribbon or anything of any kind. Yep. This is like a, like a friendship adventure, a lead pipe? The lead pipe badge, uh, is because you helped bring us to the droves. And, I can't. Can I frame this and put it up on my wall? You can frame it and see it says adventure quest complete for Tupping. I can't believe that F is silent in there, but here you go.

Wow. There we go. Thank you so much, Grinkle. This means a lot to me. You're very welcome, and it'll be nice to, when we come back, it'll be nice to play enough a game of Lupin Chewy with you. I haven't made a wish of my own yet, so when I get back, I'll make a wish

for a four-player game of Lupin' Chewy. Yes! Still not enough for us. We already have those at Molly's house. I'll watch. Well, it's gonna be real perilous out there on that ledge. And so I just hope they're all really safe. And just remember, those bad wishes can't hurt you if you don't let them, okay?

Are you, see you expressed great hope to see you expressed a great hope to see Obed and make it across the bridge. Are you sure that you want to turn now? We could perhaps fit in one of our backs. Hey, you can't look at what happens next. I want to live. Yeah. The thing is that. Let them live.

Let them live! I'm still quite a little one in terms of a Brickadox. And when I'm a little bit bigger, I'll be ready to make this journey. Because once I get to open, I get my mind and gear and I can start refining no issues, and I just might not be ready yet. Well, you know what you can practice. I know you're not literally a mouse or a rat, but you're kind of like that. You need to do the call sign that everyone always does.

It's this. He holds up his hand. and he does the... Keep practicing. My fingers don't want to do that. Well, you've got to keep working on it. And keep working on it. And when we come back, we're going to check your progress.

So you say, hey, everybody, look at what I'm doing. Look at what I can do. This is the thing that my friend Gregor always does. Exactly right. And then it'll be the thing that you always do, so everyone will know it's you even in the darkness or something. Well, I'm going to head back tomorrow and let her know you made it over here safe. I'd wait and see if you cross all the way,

but it's hard for me to see all the way over there. with my little eyes. And also, it's really scary here, and I have to use the bathroom. You use the bathroom and enjoy your lead pipe badge. You're gonna be okay? Goodbye, little topic. Getting back.

Yeah, it'll be all right. I live here. But also, just make sure that, just make sure that you don't give it to them bad wishes, okay? He certainly will not. We will be able to resist the temptation. And beware the trolls. I resist temptation all the time.

Into the tunnel. Alright, well, Torbber thinks Fraus should go first. What? Yeah. Frost is not going to get the best pickle blow. I'm going second. Okay, allow me to get my breath freshener. Direct to only third.

I'm going very fancy. It's called, you know something because it's called poo-per-ee. Once that's the smell. Even in the wind, even the wind, that is cloying. I'm getting it from back here. Yeah. They're never going to know what hit them. All right, let's go.

That's fucking gross. Leave the way for you. I've got your back. Is Grinor? Are we doing this? I think Gregor goes to fall or be tempted to do. I think Greg goes to her. And then you guys can figure out whatever you want to do.

I mean, I guess I'll bring up the rear just in case anybody starts going over. I'll just snap out. All right. Mr. Grummy, you're buying Torbank. Oh, wait, get. Get money of chains. All right. Well, there you go.

Just hang on to it. Just in case. So you two, you two are tied together? I'm going to. Yeah, come on. I'll get the back. Get it tight. I don't want to come in on down.

Ooh. Ooh. You got some slender waist. All right. Just in case, you know, I don't think I'm gonna fall. You two were tied together. I, yeah, I'm chained to Gideon's, uh, whenever it's.

Manichael. I never take them off. Okay. Um, I need you older old dexterity saving gifts to you. That's my favorite. That's cool. Um, also I'd like to look at over the edge and see how far it is. Yay.

Oh, Dixotey's in from? Dormick is safe. Do I have advantage because I'm tied down? You do not. Uh-uh. Do I have advantage for some reason? No. It's not looking good. I got a...

I got a sip. I got a sipping. Don't forget to add your stones of good luck. See guys. Do we have this? No, we don't have this. They were, right? We lost all we don't have good luck. We got a good luck.

We got them back. Okay. Oh, then Torbik got even higher. 22. Okay. I have a plus one. Do I have two stones, don't I? I don't remember.

Because I took the actual one. I know I have two. You have two, I have two. Yes, the two of you have two. I have one. I had gotten a different item that functioned like a lot. But you only have one of the actual like gems. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Correct. I got a six. Okay. 12. Oh, no. I'll see you guys in the next campaign. Good luck.

This is a soul of adventure now. 12 is enough. Oh, they would go. Well, I don't think they stack. Well, these ones do. Oh, these ones do. So they don't endy beyond.

They don't endy beyond. But these, these, and in the book, you're only supposed to get one, and I decide that I like to make my job harder for myself. Well, then I got a night. You get a nine. You got a seven. You get plus two.

No, but I already have plus one based on. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I got an eight. Okay. No, you got a seven. I rolled a seven. I rolled a seven. So you got a 12.

I got a 6. You got a 6. You got a 12. Oh, but you don't have a stone set up in the evening. You got an 8. You got a 7. All right. Well, then scroll down to the bottom.

You go. Now click that. This one? No, no, that this. Yep, yep. Scroll it up. All right. Now it's plus four.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Look at the big brain. Oh, crap. We've still both got the same number. As we're walking, I'm trying to remember. The lily pad that I can use for flight, do I recall if that is still dried up and useless, or is it functional again?

Anything that required attunement, I would say, is... Oh, that's right. I hadn't attuned to it. You had an attuned to it. Okay. So you would still... And something like that is not just a, like, oh, it was in my pack while I slept overnight. You'd need to spend an hour with it to actually get used to a familiarized result with it and try and figure out how to get it to.

That's fine. I've still got my bag of beads, I guess. Um, okay, so. This Omaraj Plus. The only person who got above a 15 was Torbac. Yeah. Yeah. I need the rest of you to roll a D-100.

Oh, look, Torback's wish came true. They're all dead. Jeez. Brutal. Just kidding. 62. A G-100. I rolled a lot of those on Monday.

Oh, no. A D-100. It was weird picking up a D-twine. I know. I got so used to the D100. Yeah. Where the fuck is the singles? Okay, here we go.

Jesus. They don't match, but. Yeah. I'm doing terribly in warfare. Yeah. 65. These are terrible rules. 82.

That'd be minimum. A minus two. Gideon? 85. Wow, that's interesting. You all got in the 80s or the 60s. That's... Huh.

Strange. You step out onto the, you step out onto the narrow stone pathway, and immediately you are hit with a wall of wind as it rushes past you. You hear in your minds the mutterings of truly evil people and the things they've wished before. Mass destruction of civilization, vengeance

for things that had happened to them in their past, all sorts of all sorts. sorts of horrible things. The wishes of hags and liches, of vampires, things of this nature as they all begin billowing up into your brain. And you are overwhelmed with this sense of anger and frustration looking about yourself.

You noticed, Gideon, you move forward and you get hit by this wall of wind and begin to slip. And you feel like you probably could have kept yourself more stable if stupid Cremie hadn't been attached to you. And as he lurches forward, it knocks you off balance. And the reason that you fall and the reason that you tumble is his fault. But Cremie, you feel the same way.

And as you do, you hit into Cremie. Because then frustrated. So, man, you brought me over. I was proud of the lady. Because if you weren't being so stupid and always had to be tied together, he wouldn't have been knocked over. And Frost, it was in the middle of calculating the speed of the wind when you all came tumbling over into him.

And even though these are not things that you normally would have thought of, even though it's sad. Well, really how reality in this situation, the anger would not have come to you. But in this moment, you feel yourselves just a little bit angry. So for the foreseeable future, you're feeling slightly angry. Everyone except for Torback. You feel pretty normal. But the rest of you are a little bit agitated. Take it easy.

You fall on to your, you all fall onto your buds. You scrape your knee, but you're able to get back. up and then... Guys, be careful. What the hell? Guys, get up. Be careful. I was trying to do...

I was trying to do a little bit of Yon Rock Swagger. Jeez, guys. Oh, you pin on the pace, Grigo. You know how to be smooth. Your tiny legs. If you're up being a lot... No, little...

You keep tugging on me, you cut it out. Well, you gotta move... Come on, man. If you got to move in step. Grico, you... As you hit the ground, you're feeling frustrated.

You look down. And you feel that sense of vertigo as you see the distance there, you get a little bit dizzy, you feel slightly queasy. And the reality of how close you are to death hits you. And it's rough. And the concept of death is unbearably sad to you.

So sad that you burst into tears whenever the concept of death comes up. Guys, did you just all realize? at the same time that I did that you will die someday. And now's not the time for you to struggle with your own mortality. And that everyone you know will die someday? We can't move forward. Are you saying?

We can't move forward until you go. Some people in your lives will die sooner. Yes, yes, yes. Get it together, man. I'm not dealing with this level of emotion out of you. No one lives forever. How deep is the chasm? Is it like infant?

It looks like it's infinite. It looks like it's infinite. You see that these piles of these wishes line like little outcroppings and ledges on the sides of the chasm, but you can't actually see the bottom. You do see the strange glow coming up from wherever it is. Grigo, I know that you're panicking, and now it's not the time for this, but you need to hurry. We can't stay on this bridge forever, or we'll be blown off, and I don't want to follow my death or have to use my balance. Are you going to follow your death, Frosty? Yes, then what do you think we're doing right now?

Please move forward. All I'm going to say to have me to get blown. and now we're gonna fall to our deaths. There's no time. Please. This is frustrating to you. You do not, you can't focus when Grico is whining and complaining. And how are you going to figure out of safely get everyone across and do these calculations if you can't hear yourself think?

And so you begin to speak out loud and talk about what it is that your thoughts are and and how to overcome this intellectually. And the rest of you realize that as he's doing so, he's slipping Sylvan words into his speech. Yeah, your curse is a slip silver words into your speech. I know, it's very, very dear- Wow, all right, hold on. Wow.

That takes, no one knows, no one knows about that. Well, that was that one- of that, it's a short, yeah. It's a good session, though. Nice, guys, I understand everyone's frustrated and scared, but like, come on, we can do this. Just everybody just calm down. It's gonna be okay.

Oh, and I, oh gosh, I heard that they already picked out a pond of land for a little topic that overlooks the pond with the ducks. Grico, come on, man. Get it together. Make it to December we. We're gonna just keep moving, man. Come on.

Oh, they fuck up. Okay. Okay, I can do it. I can do it. I would like to attempt to reach, they have section trollies in my area. reach to like pick Grickle up and like help him just get his feet and try to like set him like. I'll say you're easily, well, the wind is here. So I'm going to have you roll,

I'll have you roll another dexterity saving. Sure. Or yeah. Agrobatics or athletics, I guess would work. Agrobatics for sure. Oh my God. Or did I roll a natural 19. Can you roll another D-100 for me please? Oh no. I'm calling on my hands and knees. Yes. I got a 27. You're easily able to reach. over and pull him up. Do you feel like you could even, you could hold him aloft and try and carry him along. You imagine you would,

it would be harder for you to cross the bridge, but keeping him off of the bridge near the edges might help alleviate some of his. Torox, that's helpless. You're up, buddy. Come on, keep walking. And I'll poke him with a long finger. Okay, okay, Torben.

Thank you for being a true mate. You know what? What did you get rich? 26. Thank you. I just need a little bit of liquid courage, a little bit more poopery. That's got to burn.

Okay, I'm back in it, lads. I'm back in it. Okay, let's go. Oh, no. You don't, you don't. Mize an easy there. You wouldn't know the outcome of this because it just happens innately.

But you feel yourself become attractive. Attractive in a way that most people wouldn't get. You think about what awaits you at the center of this bridge, and you realize that you would be pretty attractive to trolls. You would be so attractive to trolls, in fact, that when you see a troll, you will be aggressively sought after for a long-term relationship.

Specifically by trolls? Suddenly, only trolls find you to be attractive. When seen by a troll, you will be aggressively sought after for a long-term relationship. Oh, man, I can't wait to not get cucked for one of the next choice. I can't wait. I'm showing you is gonna be fine. Gringo's gonna have to get the chair ready.

You can't have to say a damn word. I can't wait to not develop a lifelong complex. I'm crawling in front of Gideon and all of a sudden I'm gonna BDL right in front of it. Mace, I want you to roll a D4 for me. A D4? A D4? Crumby's now kicked up. Three.

You are frustrated with Crummy. He has fallen to the ground. He is now incredibly attractive to something that is not a Genesee. And you can just feel, you're not sure what it is, but you can just feel it. There's something out there that is just, you know, and it's...

I just know that somebody finds him attractive. Somebody finds him... And you don't know why, but it irritates the shit out of you. And you're looking, around in frustration as your eyes fall on Torbeck. There is something special about Torbeck. You wanna marry that bug bear.

You've never wanted to marry somebody more in your entire life than you wanna marry that bug bear. What are you looking at, Yen? Dorbeck, Torbeck. What's up? Listen, they say four is a party. Yeah? And five's an even better party.

Torbeck's ever been to a party. You want to go? Yeah. I'll take you. Does now seem like the time, though? What? No, I think. Hey, shut your mouth, okay?

Now's exactly the time, Torbeck. Okay? I'm mad also, I think, is new. You are, yes. Oh, man. Yeah, all right. You know what? The only way to make me happier,

marry me, Torbeck. Married. Excuse you, Gid. What? What kind of scam are you pulling? What do you mean? Well, we didn't discuss scheming and scamming Torbeck earlier this morning, did we?

We discussed demon scamming so much that we may have, but I don't remember it specifically. But hang on a second, I'm working on something. I mean, have you seen him? Have you seen it? I look my head up and I look. Look at him. He strikes such a majestic profile.

From this angle, you don't see Torback from this angle ever, because you're always standing so tall, But you realize in this moment, as he's picking his nose and scratching at one of his butt cheeks, that he is still wearing the fishnet tights from the Witchlight Carnival. This whole tithe! Because he's not big a dog.

Guys, I think they say spews the Dermax legs. That's the nightmare. Oh, oh. They're stuck. Those are stuck. Oh, those are very stuck. Those are dingo berries. Those are dingo bushes.

Oh, man. I think that's not. I want to marry it. Well, listen, yeah, this is very sudden, but, you know, Tormex's interested in marriage. Why wouldn't you be? Does that mean, I mean, also married to Mr. Gramey? I mean, kind of by the transit of property. I was supposed to do.

No, that's not how that work you do. You're making it even more attractive. Can we please stop talking about this? Can you see that you're all being affected by the paleness? By the what? The paleness. The fact that we're all. on this balance right now is Jolin.

What? Are you gonna say the pal of these nuts? No, no, no, no, no. Why would you, now's not the time for jokes. We're all in great danger and you're all being affected by Sojunie. What's the Sujuni? Torbett doesn't think this is a joke.

Torbick, if you would if you would get in like to be married, I could officiate, you see, I am... You would do that for Torbett? Absolutely. Would you like to be married? to do it right now? Not on the bridge. No, not right now.

Again. Not right now. No, not for your weird freak. That's right. Time is running out. The last thing you would want to do is to be blown off this bridge before you could seal your love and turn of a matter of.

Oh, off the bridge. Oh, yeah. Time is running out for over. Please, move dronte. This stuff is time. What is happening with everybody? Why is it so hard for me to make words? We can make this happen very quickly.

Gideon, do you... No, I'm not getting married by you, you sick freak. No, all that ain't happening. Would you like to get married by Pollinella? No, I don't know what the hell you got going on, or happen, I don't want you touching none of what happened. Why don't we just get through this? We'll see what everyone's side,

and then we can arrange a little ceremony. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you're going to be here. I'm depor. I'm going to be Hiro. I'm not sure why or what that entails, but I'm not sure why all being so cruel to me. You were best friends yesterday.

You've been a little tepini. And we... I've never been to peony. We haven't really had a chance to all of them. So we need to dronte if we're going to cross this palmless. Yeah, let's fucking dronty for us. Let's go. Gideon will only get married by an old sailor

who just broke 45 years of sobriety. It's so true. Put one gondo in front of the other. I'll put my jano wherever up. What is your marching order? I think it's so the same. Me too, Virgo. Me too.

No, I have 10 feet reach. So I need to cross you. Oh, over me. You gotta set him up right. Okay, I just wanted to make sure that we got the Zeus thing. Okay, Grinco, you can do this even though everybody dies. And with that, you begin to make your way across. And I need you to make, I need you to make two checks this time.

A dexterity saving throw and a wisdom saving throw. If you like making love it inside. Me? In the dudes on the Dex and Whiz. Dex and Wiz. I'm good at both of those. I got a natural four for both.

I got a natural four for both. 12 and a 13. That's exciting. It was. Dex and Wiz. Nine? It just saves. 13.

Yeah. Nine. I got a 15 on Dex. 22. 22. And I'm not. I got a four for wisdom. I also got a four for wisdom.

And what could be it for deck? 22. Okay. Torbman got a 17 for decks and a 14 for wisdom. What did everyone ask it for wisdom? I got 13 wisdom. I got 12 decks, 13 wisdom. I didn't, I got a bump each up by one.

Oh, me too. 18, 15. I have a count. 1815. 13, 14. 13 14. 12. 22, 4.

Okay. Anyone who got below a 15 for whiz, that's the way I should do this, too many numbers. Anyone who got a below a 15 for whiz, you feel your anger go up. You're now just not slightly angry. You're pissed off. This is frustrating.

The wind is lashing at your body. It actually doesn't feel good. There are minerals in the air here and they're on the wind and it's almost like you're being sandblasted. And it's uncomfortable. You keep slipping, you're stumbling, you're running into each other.

This is incredibly uncomfortable. And then the only two people got above a 15 were Gideon and Frost for Dax. Oh, me too. Torbett got an 18 for Dax. D'X. D'rax really dexterous. I'm just gonna- But also has an entire beach up with butt crack now.

I can't waitin to go playing. Oh, Torquette loved that, but Andy Aiden. You fall down. Grico, you fall down yet again. Just a bucket on a pop, man. Just to make this easier, I'm just rolling. for your curses because some of you are gonna get robbed. And so that way I can make it more them more thematic.

And so this is fun, this works. You fall down yet again and you see, you're still feeling sad about death. But now there is an added layer of sorrow to it. You know that you are supposed to lead a great kingdom for 10 years, but it's gonna fall into ruin due to your efforts. And then you're impending death.

Deneffects. My God, he's back after 10 years. And got subpoenaed by the IRS. We had so many back payments on taxes do. Oh, boy. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night,

and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Shroud over Saltmarsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own comment. of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragon Fifth Edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you.

And out at some point, got a baby yell right in here, right in the middle of his brain. I don't know what happened. How he's supposed to move that thing all over the place? My face feels real tight, and my lips feel luscious. How do I look? And I turn around. Attract it to somebody. And I clearly, it's like the Botox and a massive,

a massive amount of lip filler. I now look like the alligator from all dogs go to heaven. Oh! Rich, choose a number between one and five. Two. Choose a number between one and four. Two. Choose a number between one and three.

Two. You lose D-4 letters of your name. I rolled a three. Your name is now Kai. K-Y. So just any time, it doesn't cost you crap me. I don't know what happened in a idiot. I've changed.

You got hit with the boomboification gun from white words. Oh, no. It seems as my master's ships has fallen craigs in the bimboification machine from Banjo-Kazoo. You got hit by the bimbledon and his headway.

What the tony are you talking about, He's hot. I stand up. Oh, hell. I don't know. It's not. I might think to somebody, I guess. I do declare.

What's happened? Grand Master Goodberry, what do you think I must do in these trying times as I face my mortality as I certainly will die from gout? Sucks. I think you should fucking trouble.

Very wise counsel Grand Mesa Goodberry. Very good at your time. Oh, very good at you. Hey, that guy's real sucks. No wonder you do. Oh, wise, counsel. Torbeck remembers me

his master of calling. My disgrace, my disgrace fool of mooned boy. Bricko, you are worse close to being pushed off of this Paulness unless you move, you're calling them. She said calling. My grape.

What was that? It's just keeping a sneezing. That's all. That's all. I couldn't sneeze. Wet, right, Rico. Something about the feeling, where. I've had the scene for the last ten minutes. I'm going to be honest. Oh.

Oh, it seems as if my master of whisperers does like to speak in rhythms, he does. Rigo. Never mind. My name is Kings from Eubula. Aya, please. Please, Grico. This is not, there's no good here. Oh, is my pathetic nephew's name.

Don't Savine. Me, just turn. He said he could have a great career rising the ranks of GameStop. I said, you will never rise to the greatness of GameStop. Collecting fungal pops all day. Here we go.

I have coin fruit. To find the motivation to continue. We are going to die. It is the only way to get my loins girded in farm. Oh, as my master of whisperers, you know all in this film, you know that I need frozen penis to gird my loins. I am furious of you. Ah, what aback?

Bads, the hand of the king, how dare you wear this badge? Yeah. So I would like to ask a question of Grico. Hey, you may disgraceful, moon boy. Yeah. You always do have the strangest wisdom, bro. Do you eat the frozen bees or put them on your crotch? Ah.

It is the only way. I'm sorry you of all people moon boy, given your disgrace, but oh, my troubles. Brigham. Yeah, Tormac's aware. Oh, not as good go. I am going to get along down from Evelk. Lord Frostington, formerly my hand of the king,

demoted to Navdas Master of Whispers. When I reach Boo, you're going off this Paulness, understand, Grickham? Hi. Can we stop and talk about how snatched I fucking look? And I'll tighten Gideon's chain and, like, my whole outfit on the

gym. Like I'm wearing a corset. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Your strange, glassy, massage, confusions, and scares me. Um, so... Master of Ships. Does my name change as if, like, everyone just thinks my name is Kai? You were the only one who thinks your name is Kai. So you're gonna, if anyone

If someone calls you Krami, you become Kai. Is he only attractive to trolls? Only to trolls. But he knows he's attractive. I'm playing it up like I know that I'm attractive, but I don't know to who. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know you're trying, but it's not shorter.

Yeah. That's perfect. Ah, this, sir. What? What did you say this? You're about to say this, this, this is. I think these cuts

Which is fucking son And your strange riddles, moonboys Of Crosington Uh-huh You're the master of laws You haven't invented one law In an hour Give us a law

Master of Law Who was the Master of Law? Am I the Master of Law? Is he crazy king? Do you not forget Sir Gideon? Well, Slayer of Hawk Nice.

This is pretty cool. I'm back in, I'm back in. I knew that. Well, here's a law is that any such coitus with trolls has to be done by the king first. Oh, yes. Anyone else gets to join in. Yes, the right. And that's just King of all.

Oh, that's just good thinking. That's just the mis-enacted Trollnaksa. Yeah, I really did Troonauta. Roger the first troll-nights. Ah, you bringing back the old ways, Lord Giddies or Giddy. Well, I try to enthism bear your needs. I didn't know you worship the old faith. I try to dismay your knees, you know.

Normally, I find that heave in degeneracy unappealing, but this law sounds pretty good. King, if Moonboy does a little dance where you keep walking, Please. If you make me in the fall, I will let you live this day. Get in. Yeah. This damp and windy cave weather gives me the horrible as I believe you should carry me the rest of the way.

Oh, God. You may survive another nine moon, boy. Okay, please want to have now. Please want to be so dramatic about it. Oh, my constitution. I keep feeling all my savings roads. Hold on to me talk, Dick,

Oh, okay, don't drop me. Quick, I mean, Oh, my name's not Kai. What? Your name's not Kai. What, what do you mean,

Gid? What, what do you mean, your name's crummy? It's always being crummy, man. No, it's not. What the fuck are you talking about? What's the fuck are you talking about?

I'm sorry. My name is Kyle. As long as you keep moving, it doesn't matter how Oudmanji you are. What the fuck is he talking about? He's having his classic. I mean, everything.

I've always been this way. again? Ever since Lupin Chui, he hasn't been the same. Um... Yeah, that really messed with his brains. I really messed him up. The great tragedy of Lupin Chui. And everyone... And the entire line just lost. The skeezy.

Oh. So, Gidemier, please procure the masterships before he performs a non-secreture musical number, after all of his foreshadowing his cut, leaving his appearance a complete mystery. Well, let's make... Oh! The word controls.

Moonboy fetch the frozen peas and tear them just like. As you continue along the bridge, I need you all on the roll another dexterity saving throw and another wisdom saving throw. Mr. Cremmer, you have frozen peas quick. Moon boy needs them immediately. Go on and fetch them from my apron. Okay, all right.

You've given Moonboy permission. He's doing it. I'm gonna try to find some frozen peas magically. Oh, easy. Yeah, you can get them. Here, my king. That's a delicate touch there, Torbant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dance over to the king and deliver the closing piece. Thank you, my food.

23 and then... Oh, Dex and Wiz? Eight. Eight for the wisdom. Okay. Dex and Wiz? Yeah, Dex and Wiz. Killing it.

I rolled to double 12s. For dexterity, that gives me a... Twenty-one. And for wisdom of wisdom. 16. Do I have advantage because I am in Gideon's arms? Oh, no, you don't roll, Gideon, you'll roll at disadvantage. Oh. Oh, that's great. I love that.

You're doing great Gid. Just don't drop me. Torrecks never getting married. Oh, Dex at disadvantage? Yeah. I'll never forgive you if you drop me, Gid. Oh, frozen bees, my king. Ah, yes, just how I like you.

What did you get, uh, Grico? Oh, I got a 20. on dexterity. Okay. And for wisdom, I got a 27. Perfect. Anyone who got below a 15 for your whiz, you are now feeling furious.

You are just, you are, I can't say the thing that Rich always says, but you're a certain type of hair away from, no, you can't say that. No, I can't think, no, I can't, yeah. That's a bridge too far. Whoa. That should be the name of this episode.

That's a great name. That's really good. Been before in Master of Services. I think it's been called the three far. You are just, you're about to lose it. Dore doesn't use it. About to lose it. Oh boy.

King, King, if you'd like to rest your royal goblin sack directly on the frozen bees, Moonboy will hold them. Oh no, hold on that sec. Cremie, roll a D4 for me, please. Oh, no. And then summon my goblets as aster. this little snack. Okay.

There you go. Four. It's maybe like, if you don't keep moving, I'm gonna throw you off this bridge. I know I must have the Royal Water so they know why my loins are good and ready to siren air. Listen, Gideon, he's walking with a whole bunch of frozen peas in his pants.

He can't go any faster. As you guys move forward, three of you are able to hold yourself steady. Krempe, you feel very secure in Gideon's arms, but the weight of you is making Gideon feel very unstable. As he lurches forward, he actually drops you onto the stone. And for a second, you almost go over and intervene,

but luckily, you're attached to him with the chain and he's able to pull you back. But it is in this moment that you hear a voice inside of your head. Stand wait. Almost as if these wishes beneath the chasm are whispering to you, secrets and things. Gideon never cared for you He's only using your skill and your power

So that he can overthrow you in the end He will betray you Gideon the traitor Look at the way he looks at Torbeck He senses weakness and is already aligning himself And a secret has been revealed to you That will make you hate someone you loved What? Why are you crying, man? Why's everyone so emotional?

This is just gross. I've always been this way. No. Well, my name's not kind of crude. You're never going to put me off right now. I'm so mad. You need to walk faster. You need to stop crying.

Oh, you may not make the law of a diet. I should have known what? Thank you, Gideon. Finally, simple Mac. We'll finally have some person. Gideon, you are watching this, or you're listening to this. You're watching Kyla Kru as he cries up at you. And it's, you're, you're angry.

Like, you're very, very angry, overwhelmingly angry. And you are so sick of hearing this man nag and nag and nag and nag, just complaining all the time. And so you start thinking about other things. And you realize, as you're looking down at your hands, as Kyla Kru is complaining up at you, that you can't tell the difference between your right and your life. I should have known a decade plus in and fresh meat enters the picture.

It was a matter of time, kid, wasn't it? Wasn't it? Fresh meat, bro. I stopped listening to you three minutes ago. Waste of air. After everything I did, these hips, these lips, everything else. These tips.

Tips. Just throw me over here. Just to throw me in. I've been thinking about it. My Constitution. I can't actually tell which hand to use here. I'm going to shut your mouth for once. Can you tell me what my hands is right or left?

Is this one? Which one's the? Wait, oh, this is how you do it. Left. You got it. I'll never forget this. Moonboy, take note of this courtly drama. It will be a great, high play for you to perform with much flagellins indeed.

Okay, Torfax thought it was Moondboy. Ah, Moonboy. Just pull me down, get it. Put me down. A new law in the court is no more crying, okay? That's done with. No more crying from anybody. That's a law now. Crying is now outlawed in my courts.

Uh-oh. Oh, what? Well, we're probably dead. Oh, the king's justice that'll take you. That's death, yeah. Grand Mista Goodberry has also been promoted to King's as

Oh boy, yeah. I'm gonna cut your head off. Oh, shucks. Well, shucks, I, I, I, the king's piece and I sweet. Wow. Very good, Grand Mesa can't Gubbery. What is it, King?

Shmabulat. Yes, Smemulik. You forget your king's name? Your... Are you that's poison? with wine of the sorcerers. Yes. I knew it.

The sorcerer is. You're master of whispers, yes? Yes, I suppose. I've come. I've come to tell you with grave alphori. Yeah, grave alphory. Not again. Your launcer is in danger.

Unless we cross this bridge, unless we cross this bridge with rapidsness, we are all going to Tementa. We can't have smenta in this kingdom. No, no, no. Okay, I'll grab the frozen peas and walk water with potes. Alright, good job, King.

Your boy is proud of you. Get going. Yes, very good, King. I do make it on my own. Very good. Yeah, well, you should make it on down. You are more than. Onward for you, King.

You are more than halfway towards halfway across the world. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The Mourne boy was just gonna ask. But you are, But you see at least part of the end in sight. As you move forward, I need you all to make another dexterity, save it.

Come on, Moonboy, one more. You can do it. I got a 10 to 4. Come on. Moon Boy is going to roll in like on fire. Okay, that's reasonable. That's reasonable. What is the DC?

15. I succeed both. Oh my gosh. That's easier to say I succeed. For both. Yeah. 15 is the DC. Moon boy crushed it this time.

Moonboy is on fire. Whoa, that was cool. I'm not rolling well. I failed both again. I haven't rolled above a seven. I pass Dex, fail, whiz. You should be using the Crooked Moon dice. Anyone who failed your wisdom saving throw,

you are now fully furious. You are so pissed. Basically nothing can make you happy. And you are, and for some of you, it might be a quiet, quiet rage. You don't necessarily feel like you need to beat the crap out of each other, but you're angry. And that is at the back of your mind that you can't stop feeling like you want to let this anger out in some way. And this happens as so. Grico, you failed your decks? I'd succeed both. Oh, you succeed both. King Shmabulock. Frost failed. It's on flies. Yep.

I didn't start succeeding until I became King Smebulaf. I don't ever know that. You, nobody is listening to you. No. And you're pissed about it. But then you realize this is the perfect opportunity. Because you're a kleptomaniac, and if no one's paying attention to you, you can steal anything that you want from everybody. Hmm, pear, boo.

But gummy bears? I'll tell you the rest of me. Make way for house Smebulak. Yes, please, King. Keep going forward. Smebielak of House Smebielock is here. Moonboy is right here to entertain. Just keep moving.

Housewoods, our snail, number two, is the best. I don't need trolls around. Cremie. Park trolls. You have fallen yet again, and then you realize you are Kyle LeCrew. That's right. And you can fly.

You can't, but you believe you can. Oh, no. Kyle LeCrew first of his name. This ain't good. And last. I can walk him on. Excuse me. Thank you very much.

Well, you better walk on your own. You is okay back there. You oafish brute. I hate you, Gideon, the Vanuco. Well, I hate you. Cremie La Crue. I don't know who that is. I don't hate you, get.

But I don't respect you. And I just turn and I start walking away. Like back to the... No, no, forward. Oh, forward. Just a way from the way. Because I'm gonna do it on my own. Okay, I will have you roll a dexterity saving throw

just so it's out of the way. Somehow that got deeper. King, can you please do something? They're fighting. Please, King. Oh, it was true, moonboard. The Dolan Court lost. 25, so you get a mess.

Okay, perfect. See, you can, you are better without them. What's that? Oh, that was the first one. Finally, yeah. Finally. Flinta. I'll lead him.

Flinda, not Grigo. Shmambulang, whatever the... Master of whispers. It's the fussing. I don't know what's happening behind me, but if you could, please, Gnirk, I would really appreciate it. I could...

You don't even have time for me to Gennert? I'm going to use my... As we're talking, my mind hand is going to start ruffling through Griko's pack. Roll a sleight of hand. Roll a sleight of hand. Please don't take the frozen beans.

It's going to be a little lamp. Moon Boone's gonna get beaten. No, please, not the Rosenberg. Mooned boys getting punished. And you can roll at advantage because people have not been paying attention to you. And Grico is convinced that he is this... That's gonna be a 23.

Is that higher than your passive perception? Absolutely. Okay, yeah, you're able to take that item. Okay, I'm gonna do that. Neteen is pretty good. Oh, and then Gideon has one. Oh, this is a nightmare. Boond boy can already feel the latches.

You watch as Kremi walks away, and you used to love. You hated to see him leave, but you love to watch him walk away. But today, you still don't know the difference between your left and your right hand. You've been listening to Kyla Kru Nagyu for the past five minutes, and you realize that, you know, Kremi just isn't your type. Because you are incredibly attracted to goblinoids. You keep walking, Kremi. I will. I liked you way better before all the work.

Now I don't know who could find you attracted. I look way better now. No, you don't. You're jealous, kid. You look so much worse than both Torbeck and Grico, who look fantastic. Now you're just coping. And I'm mad about it.

I'm not going to, you think I'm coping? They're coping. Who is his trollbeck and Gritko that's being compared to being the federal? Shut your pretty mouth, Kimmelk, I'm having a conversation. How dare you wait. What is this missing? Moonboy.

Yes, King? Yes, King, Samarylant. Moon Boy is here. What do you think? I took your pipe of smoke monsters. Where is my pipe of smoke smoke on my smoke from the pipe? Oh, my smoke monster. Oh, King, the pipe of smoke monsters. It's right on the left side of your bag.

Moonboy made me. sure it was there before we left. Oh, you did. You made... Oh, yeah, you take this too. You made certain of that, I? Yes, Moonboy is very certain that the pipe was in the left bottom.

I don't know. Would you like to check, Moonboy? Of course. Moonboy put it right... Uh-oh. He looks really hot. King Shmabulog. Yes, Moonboy.

Moonboy can't find your bike. My devious fool. My devious. No, no, Moonboy is not devious. How could you do that? steal from your... No, no, Moonboy would... Oh, that makes me so mad!

Moonboy would never steal from the game! Can't allow me to apply his punishment, probably 20 spankans. Probably 20 spankens at least. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Man, don't make your bed on my neck, starts taking his pants off.

Moonboy can fix this, what he gets up. Justice, right? I had the case is for King Jamulok. To Moondi's, Moond Boy begins making his butt cheeks talk. butt cheeks talk to try to cheer up the king. I'll make true to his namesake, moonboy. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I stopped. Oh, no, wait. I'm doing it. I love this. Moonboy. To his name's take. Look at Moonboy.

Talking from his butt cheeks. Roll it. Yeah, no, roll at advantage because he's not paying attention to you. Please don't care, Moonboy. Jeez, we get a little forwarding on. That doesn't. 17. Oh, my God.

Cremie, what's your passive perception? I'm gonna marry that guy. 14. Oh, yeah, no, you succeed. You take it. Oh, I could never stay mad at you, my woodpaint, a fool. Oh, thank goodness. But if it happens again, I will remove your hands.

You don't need your hands for your buttocks to talk, Moonboy. No, Moonboy does. No, he sure doesn't. No, he sure doesn't. Can we please keep moving, please? I suppose the trolls are waging us. We will unite our houses and save Govety once and for all.

I will have you all roll a... Oh, Moonboy. Except for you, Premi, roll your dexterity saving throws. So while all of this is happening, Kremi, you move forward. You left the group behind and you made it to... Yeah, you made it. It wasn't that funny.

You made it to the very middle of the bridge. And as you do, and the rest of them don't notice this, you begin to hear grumblings beneath the bridge. Do you attempt to move further past the middle, or are you going to stop there? I hear grumblings. I don't know who I'm attractive to. No, you do not. And I just know that I'm kind of clue and I'm upset.

You are upset. I continue. Man, he's got a fat ass. You can. Continue forward and just as you do, three squat troll women climb up over the edges of the, over the edges of this bridge and they get down in front of you and they look up at you and for a second,

they look angry and frustrated. They all attempt to stop you and then you watch as they all write themselves and they start patting their clothes down. They're wearing, their outfits are bits of random cloths, stitched together, they're disheveled. They've been living under a bridge in this horrible place with no way to shower, no, no, home.

They're quite, they're quite gross. But they look at you over their bulbous troll noses and one of them looks towards you, the largest of, we're the tallest of the troll women. And you see as she starts batting her eyes. Oh, my clump really likes the way this This guy's looking. Hey Pete, you see this?

You mean, you appreciate all this? Oh, yeah. Oh, well... You come around these ribbon-wish Kevin's often hot stuff? Well, what to do, miss ladies? You can call me muck, lump, a muck for short. A lump, if you like.

That's a beautiful name. What's my mother's name? You're a beautiful man. What brings you all the way deep? into my cabin. Well, I'll answer your question if you answer mine. I'll answer your question if you answer mine. And she like sticks her boobs together and leads forward.

You don't say, well, we're just trying to get over this here bridge. Are you single? It don't matter. You know what? I actually happened to be single, recently single. Oh, you poor thing, you want me to give you a massage? I would make. that. Is it free? For you, honey. I'll pay you. And she jumps up on your back, like claws

into your shoulder. It hurts. This is awful. She's significantly about half your size. These are like small trolls. She leaps up on the top of you and digs her claws in and she starts massaging and it feels like a cat massaging into you with their claws out. It is awful. And she smells terrible. Oh God, you feel so strong beneath my old hair. Is there anything like redeemable about this massage? Nothing. Well, I appreciate that. Instead of paying me, why don't you just let me go?

Consider the total pain. What do you think? I couldn't let you. She reaches into your pocket and pulls out one of your cigarettes and she takes a big old drag off of it. I couldn't possibly let a dish like you leave Rivenwish Gavin. Well, like ever. Not any time soon,

not until Mama gets what she wants. And what might that? You fade to black. Yeah, I made me looking for all these time. It is at this time that the rest of you walk up and you see that Kremie is, there are these two much smaller trolls, like cackling to each other,

like mumbling to each other. as they're watching, as Kremi is, looks like he's being attacked by one of these trolls. We're emerging back from the under side of the way. Yeah, they're, they're like completely entwined together. It's a horrible, horrible scenario that you're walking up on. And it looks- I believe that you've been to both.

It looks overtly sexual. Oh! But quite painful as you all step up to this and what were your roles? Oh, shoot. I rolled. Just the dexterity for this one. 21. I know I got over 15. 19.

What did you get frost? Because I have like plus nine. Dexterity saving throw. This is the final one to get to the middle of the bridge. I cannot succeed any of these saving throws. I also fell. Okay. Oh, no. King, Shammuagg, look away.

Oh. Don't look, King. What is this heavenly around? Don't look. No, my King, don't look. Moonboy advises you don't look. Two-lock Alchemy, don't it? It smells like the lizard lions of the neck.

Roll a sleight of hand at advantage. It smells, oh, de bog devil. 23. Okay. You are easily able to take that. And as you were pulling the wish rope, meter after meter after meter of wish rope from Gideon's pack without him noticing it all,

his eyes are completely locked on both the two sexy goblinoids that he's fallen in love with, but also he's angry, he's furious as he watches. his husband cheating on him with very clearly cheating on him with troll. I'm focused on the rope. But you're focused on the rope as you realize that you are so underappreciated. Everyone says that you're the everyone's least favorite member of the Witchlight crew. And that's not true because they're not, they don't listen to anything you say.

They don't listen to your opinions. And they shouldn't because you are the world's greatest bard. He can talk? He can talk? You can dog. You can don't? Oh, God. Oh, God.

I just love the crushed velvet on this suit. I mean, it was velvet before I climbed up here, but it's crushed now. Oh, you hear that again? Oh, let me just kiss you. Can you just move your snout? I got to get some suckles up in here, you green bastard. Oh, there you go right there. Oh, yeah.

This is my mouth-known. Oh, you're scaly freak. you just like I like him. Oh, you just like, yeah. No, I got to throw in my mouth. I'm gonna throw up. Who is the queen of the trolls here? I am King Smebulak of House Mepiolk.

Excuse me, it's Mucklump over here, but can't you see I'm busy? I got this handle, King. You've selected the eunuch as an appetizing. Excuse me? As this tradition, I have appetized and dined on frozen pears. As a tradition in my kingdom. Miss Lump, my moon boy here.

Just want to let you know the king is well girdled. I've been said to let you know the king is girdled and fertile. I come bearing the greatest fool in the land, Moonboy, Moonboy, do your trick, do your world-renowned. A axe for the lovely troll queen, Mucklum, House Mucklum. Oh, yeah. The other two trolls are just, like, clapping and cheering. They seem really into it.

I don't know. Boy. Mucklop doesn't really know how to feel about it, because she's neck deep and crammy right now. And so she's like only half paying attention to you. Do you know that? these jokers? Are they with you? They're all my employees, believe it or not.

I'm the boss. I'm in charge here. Well, I'm also the boss of these two other trolls. Well, why don't we, uh... So this is what happens when two empires collide, is it? That's right. Why don't we go beneath this bridge and make some negotiation happen? All right, does that include an orgasm?

Or just talking? Yeah, including an orgasm. She said, you beneath an orgasm. Unless my hand gets tired. I'm making the promises I can't keep. My name's not Kylie Kuhl. And you go beneath the bridge. And the rest of you are stuck up top

with the two other trolls, Grug and Peek. Bigg Shembelunk. It's important to me that you, hear me out. I know I've been your master of whispers for however long I don't give a shit. No, but I think. I think that I should be your master of song. For too long, I've been underappreciated,

and I think that Moonboy does a fine jig, but you are leaving a lot of money on the table by not empowering me to deliver these. You mean to tell me that you could have been negotiating, but I've sent my wisest to you think to negotiate in your stead? And you're standing here like a jack-and- apes. Only

because I'm so underappreciated in furious, Kings, Mergin'Line. He's eye-heel is out of negotiation now. He will reign a wonderful marriage. What a trust movie master of ships.

Ah, yes. So go on to your Agnesbron so I might find it amusing. Moondy boy, another couple of frozen peas. Well, my king, the apron is down with the master of chips, with all the prosy beans. I hate the magic. Oh, no, no.

Oh, no. Tewan is back in the mess. Calm down, please. It does it do a peril if you fail, Moorboy. No. I mean, Moonboy will get them. And against all that is good in this world, Doreback will attempt to climb onto the bridge. to the bridge to where Kremi is canoodling with Miss Lump to see if he can get some more frozen peas

for King's Mabulog. You see a lot. There's a lot to see down there. Let's make music together. Harmony. And you see that the peas are actively in use. No! But in there is, you have one opportunity

to snag a few of them. I do my best. Roll a sleight of hand to see if you can snag some of the frozen peas without being noticed. All right, my sleut of hand is plus eight. I got a 21. Oh yeah, you're able to grab some of the peas from in between the events.

In between, it's more like, more than in between. And I can scurry up again. It's as I can scurry up and get out of there. Oh, the key, the piece, the piece. The piece. Oh, darn, you'll hold on your last again this day, moon boy. Failed me again, and your fingernails shall be mine.

Mr. Frustington, you may do your little thing. I really hope you don't eat those beans. I eat them like Denethor in the turn of the cake. Oh, he's going to be on the preparation eye after this one. I'm popping. You didn't think about the permutations. Oh, Moon boy, gonna be sick. I did this. This is all of my fault.

You did this. That's true. Yeah, you're gonna perform. Ah, yes, all eyes on you, Lord Frosington. Did you hear that? It sounded like the Windows? Oh, so I thought I heard the Windows boot screen and I'm like, ugh. Anyway, no, we're fine. Does it look like we have to convince the other trolls to let us pass?

Is Cremie doing all the work for us? You imagine that Cremie's doing all the work. These other two seem to just be enjoying everything that's happening. You believe you can probably walk right past them and they wouldn't say anything. Though, you know, how that would work out for you in the end, it's hard to tell. But they're enjoying all of this madness. And they're looking at all of you like, this is fun they've had in a long time. As a master of song, I would be able to delight you with your own,

a selection of music, not just one jig and the same routine over and over, but original composition after original composition. What do you think of that? Yeah, I prefer covers. I can give you a cover. Okay. Proceed. All right. Greatest part in the world. Let's go. You don't always have to fuck a troll. In fact, sometimes that's not right to. do. Sometimes you got to make some loves and fucking give us some smooches too.

Sometimes you got, I do the whole, I see the whole, basically drowning out what's happening underneath the bridge as I swoon and sing. Surprisingly unlike Frost in this moment. I would say roll a performance check at advantage. Wow. Okay. Let's go for a 17. Yeah. Everyone seems to be really impressed when you say you don't all always have to fuck a troll.

Both Grug and Peek look very, very sad. But then as you say, you gotta give them smooches too. They get really excited, and now they're canoodling up to you. You've got Grug on one leg and Peek on the other, and they're just rubbing along your ropes. Ah, I see that you are beginning your own negotiations and there are rain right there as well to me. Really?

Well done. I was gonna say that song was a little cringe and give you the last, but. and denial or promotion, but you will, you may negotiate just as Lord Cremington has. Your name is Beek and your name is Grug? They're very, they're about Gricka size. They're very, very, very short-shund.

Your name is Beak and your name is Grug? Yeah. It's a pleasure. Can I take a beak? Oh, oh, oh. Oh, you did. You will make a fine second and third wife to me I'm getting very long

We have a rule about kings first I think the master of laws Oh that's true there's a law You had to fuck the king first Before you could have to Oh but allow him to negotiate first No I'm just my scheming unit It's begun

It's never gonna It's not made me the one of like to die King's Mabbylock, Moon DeBoy doesn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Yes, Moonboy. But Moonboy doesn't think this is going the way that you were hoping. I think negotiations are going, handsomely. I just kind of feel like not enough people care about trolling up. Yeah, Mooned Boy thinks that the nefarious scheming tunic has gone way beyond negotiations.

Ah, he was that good. Yes, you're right. She's negotiating more than a handsome dowry. With that, you all hear the loud sounds of the ending of the negotiations. And a couple of minutes later, you see as the scheming eunuch and the queen of the trolls make their way back up on top of the bridge.

They both look incredibly disheveled and they have peas smashed all over their bodies. I still got it. I'll walk out. My face is gonna be like squirred. When he got sad on? Oh, my wife is my horse. I still know.

Your stout is completely, it's completely, it's completely right. Yeah. What happened to your mustache? God. There's bees everywhere. Oh, did that come on? You still got some.

I got it. Don't worry. Thank you. She draws the mustache back on. Thank you, Matilda. I appreciate. All right, you said all you wanted was to get across the bridge. Yeah, you know, like we discussed down there, you know, just making sure that my associates can get by, unperturbed.

How you know where to find me on your way back? I certainly do. Wait, wait, we have to come back this way? Oh, that's what we'll return and have a great wedding feast for all. I'll make sure to work on my stretches, I'll be extra limb for you. the next time you through. All right, I definitely recommend that. You know, you gotta open those hips up.

Yeah, gotta work on that. Oh, yeah, my troll-bearin hips. She squats. Ah, troubling bearing you, man. Well, you can go on ahead. I'm not gonna stop ya. I should, I should go. My joints are a bit creaky.

I don't think I could chase you if I wanted to. All right, Phil. Let's go. Oh, mother, I wait a fine marriage with a great feast attended by all in the last. Who are you? Who are you? Ah, yes.

I will return my betrothed. Thank you, my betrothed. This is the king. He's the king. I'm the king of what? The king, everything. King of Goblinopoeia. House Shnebulek, uh, woods.

House words are spell number two is the best. You got Goblinopia. You guys got one of them housewives major images? Oh, we could have any major image you want. Oh Pete, can you- Meadowed with every kind of producer in the land. Peek, can you go get me one of those, Beetle and James, please?

Get Bama a wine cooler. Ah, yes, we're one of our chief exports is cheap wine coolers. You will be very at home with a handsome dowry, lands and titles for all. Oh, you got one of them lazy boys? I don't know with this, We just go to them out.

Do you refer to the frown called the Laustabout-Rap-Scalion? No, we just call them lazy boys round here. We don't got none to those. We only have Laustabout-Rab scallions in Galentopia. Ah, does it got one of them? It's the same thing, King. It's the same thing. You got one of the magical ones where you just push the button

and the little footstool comes up. Oh, you gotta crank it manually. Ah, you know about cranking it manually, oh boy. I really got to go cranking it manually. I'm with you, Cranking it manually. Moonboy is always cracking it manually. A pleasure. How you always crank it manually, Moon?

No, no, King. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. You can't let go for us. Moonboy can't just do that right here on the bridge. Oh, I lost my undershorts. I'll call you. We will, uh, we will adjourn for the great wedding feast, my betrothed, beloved to my lovely free troll wives.

Great negotiating. Yeah, Brie. Bring them on by. We love meeting wives. Oh, yes. Do you love meeting wives or meet and wives? Sure thing, Catman. Catman, dude.

Oh, did I hear you could sing. I just knew you were gonna say Catman, do. Did I hear you could sing? I am the master of song now. I have closed my worth as the greatest bar in all the land. Why don't you do your new friend, Mark Lump, the honor of a singing of a song. song, then you can go.

Do you have any requests? I start running. And once I get to full speed, I'm going to leap into the air and fly away. Wonderful. Do you, do you know that song by a fog hat? Yes, I do. Yeah, sing that one. Gasto.

Take it, rozo. I love this song. Fadigno. Ah, Fidigno. Sabiso. A piece, oh. And I sing the entire thing in Sylvan. And she chants along with you.

She knows the Sylvan version too. It's a paper version. Oh, remarkable. And you finished that. And you finished that song. Just as Kremi, you get towards the end of the last stretch of the bridge. I'll leap into the air.

Realizing that with the trolls completely distracted, or maybe it's their permission, that the winds that had been picked up have essentially dissipated. And it's easy for you to make this run. And there is one soft, gentle breeze that makes its way through, and you realize this is the perfect breeze

to carry you more quickly to the other side of the bridge as you leap up into the air and begin to sail over the chasm. You feel the wind beneath your scales. As you see the Obit's Grotto getting closer and closer, you can feel the, The spray of the waterfall, the gentle mist, as it splashes against your face as you begin to plummet. Down, down, down.

Unable to fly, you are not held aloft for too long before you begin to plummet. So I'm off the bridge now. Yeah. You're about to fall into a nightmare. Ah! That's all you can't. King, we gotta get moving.

Mr. Cramior, he ran ahead. We gotta go. Ah, but he was, you know, fighting very slowly. What? Uh, just you might be like, you never know what that drink. Oh, yes, you should all remember to take it easy

every once in a while. Oh, yeah, okay. You're successful, I know what that's gonna turn, but now's not the time to take it easy. We gotta get across the bridge. No, if it's being out of turn, no. No, no, no, please, no, please,

Oh, yeah. No, no, please. Moon Boy is sorry. Moon Boy, I promise it hurts me more than it hurts you. No, no! I proceed. I proceed to and tore back in my arms. You proceed to, oh yes, yes.

And so you all begin to, they wave goodbye to you as you watch as they pull these decrepit, mock-eaten, lazy boys from beneath the, bridge and they all set up to watch real housewives of Raven Wish Cavern. And it's just them. Home videos, home major images that they've magiced up. But they laugh and they smoke their cigarettes and they enjoy this time. As you begin to run towards Obit's Grotto, and at this time, as you're getting towards

the end, you see Kremi significantly ahead of you as he leaps into the air and jumps over the cavern. And for a second, he is held aloft on the wind that's rushing through this place, heading straight towards the entrance in the waterfall. And it's beautiful. And you didn't know that he could do this, but he is a magic user. It makes sense that this kind of magic would be at his disposal before almost in a split second. And just the blink of an eye, you watch as he begins to plummet deep into the counter. Oh, no, no, he doesn't.

How far away is Krummy? I would say 60 feet. I thought it's like on the other side of the bridge. As soon as he drops and I look to my friends to see if they're going to save him and if Kremi truly looks like he's plummeting into an abyss filled with nightmare wishes. He looks like he's plummet into an abyss of nightmare.

Then I will focus my sonic energy. And the sound of whatever echo or wind would have existed, It's almost like when you turn on your noise cancellation on your headphones, all of a sudden, there's a silence that surrounds the entire space as I focus and I am going to attempt to vortex warp crumbly to our side. If he's still within 90 feet, then I would like,

I don't know if you have to make a, because he's a willing ally. Is he? Are you willing? If you feel the knock knock of the pull of my mind to shift you through space and time. Would you affect- I don't think I would even have the wherewithal to resist. Unless you want me to roll for me.

No, he's up to you. Are you willing? Yeah, absolutely. I'm willing my death. Perfect. Then yeah, you're within 90 feet, so you would easily be able to warp him back to you. I focus in and almost making a portal just below

where Cremie is falling. He'll fall through up the portal, fly up over the bridge before crashing back down a moment later. Grammy, are you all right? Oh, good baron, thank you. Why would you try to do that?

You almost sell to your death. Oh, the baron saved my life. Oh, you've been saved by the good grace of the gods of being such an outstanding negotiator. No, the good baron saved me. Yes. You would be out of jones. Why did you do that?

Well, because I can fly. But for some reason, I think... Not dragging a wagon like that, you can't. Oh, you think, I thought it was the post nut clarity, but maybe it is that. I don't know what happened. Just the other minute I could soar through the air. Now, Michelle of my former self, I am spent.

I think that this bridge has Ron Hahn us all. And we have a great wedding feast to look forward to. Well done, Master Cremington, Master of Ships. I did not know you were such a great negotiator when it didn't come to ships. Although... It does smell a bit like low tide. Oh, Jesus. Oh, no. And I believe.

Let's just get across. We can all relax. Maybe we can have a wedding or two. Yeah. It'll be all right. Everything's gonna be okay, guys. We're nearly there. Good boy has a good feeling about all of this. Ah, yes. We'll stay focused on putting one foot in front of the other,

and we'll eventually reach our you winglubby. You are all able to make it to the opposite side of the bridge. You find yourself, the moment you step off of this bridge, you're met with a gentle, warm breeze. This grotto is quite beautiful. It's verdant. The moisture hangs in the air from a crystalline waterfall off in the distance.

And as you look through what is an arched cavern, foliage hanging down over it almost like a curtain, but you're able to peek in and see that this, the grotto on the other side, there's a sparkling pool off to one side at the base of the waterfall. There are candles just everywhere nestled along the rock faces.

Illuminating the space is quite beautiful. And munching, on an apple, occasionally drinking out of the little pond, is what is very clearly a small pony. A top-it saddle is a little house strapped in, a little porch, a two-story house, quite cute. And sitting on the porch of this little house in a rocking chair is a very small, very elderly Brighamock. And that is we will end this session. much for listening to the Legends of Aventras podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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