Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 66 | Opening Act

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

The party ventures into Motherhorn...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/vUfqkCcpW-g?si=8mBSBmWj-Af3Lbwu

Oh, hello everyone! Welcome to Legends of Aventress! My name is Grico Grimgrin and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. You see a small pony and you notice that there are a total of three different barrels that are filled full of wish stones. Guys, this is so sweet! I feel energized! You have to try this statement. Torbeck is out here.

Torbeck is sorry to disturb you. What's your name? Obed, what's your name? Hey, we're looking for you guys. This is O'Bead. O'Grack or whatever that's name? Yeah, yeah. Obed, I'm getting ready to go to Motherhorn.

The only thing that can bring bitter end any sort of joy is a tragedy. I've got your wishes. You're welcome, O'bud. Oh, O'Bud. I'm so happy to see you. I've just met your new friends. Hey, uh, Glein, what's the deal with your whole shadow thing? Uh, you know, you're not having one and all.

Endlin has these scissors. They snip your shadow from your body. Oh, yeah. She keeps your shadow under her control. Think about what we could do. If we don't, you know, if we just get back home, We pay our debts. We could have the most magnificent theme park of Southern Carquino's.

Think about the rides you could desire. Oh man, we could sell tickets for at least 20 gold pieces. There's not enough fuel in this as of yet to do it for long, but for at least small bursts, this baby flies. You have found your way to Opin's Grotto. It is there that you befriend a Faye horse, enjoy some Beasel Blossoms, and meet Obit himself,

and enjoy a nice evening getting to know him and not just him, but the woman that you were hoping to find here, Gleam as well. The night is spent ordering some cheeky nandoes from Grubhub, and playing some looping and chewy with at least half of you on the chewy chairs. And overall, it's a pleasant night.

As Obed eventually makes his way up to bed. As the night winds down, the rest of you eventually find your way upstairs to rest, except for two of you. As Cremi and Gideon, you both make your way outside and work on Gideon's new motorcycle, its new vehicle. You spend the night. taking it for a test drive before eventually finding a spot near the waterfall and getting to spend some quality alone time together. It's been a long time since the two of you have been able to talk business.

And you have this opportunity, you spend a few hours there talking about your adventures in the Fay Wild and all the things that have befallen you and everything that is yet to come and eventually the exhaustion begins to set in. and you both make your way back to the small house on top of the ponies saddle and make your way into your separate rooms. You say goodbye to each other. And all of you fall asleep. You enjoy a long rest.

We did it. You wake up in the morning or you imagine it to be the morning, but there is no sunlight shining in through the windows. You're deep underground, deep within, the mountain that the Brighamocs inhabit. But you smell crispy bacon. You smell fresh eggs. You smell biscuits.

You smell, hmm, something sweet. Syrupy. You all make your way downstairs over the course of roughly an hour and gleam is in the kitchen making a veritable smorgasbord of a rock breakfast items from all around the Fadewell and the material plane as well. She's got a Brigh-a-Nock cookbook in front of her.

And it's, as you look through it, Crummy, you notice this first. You look through it and you realize that there are recipes in here for all sorts of things. And they appear to be recipes that have been spoken to Brigha-Nox over many, many years in compliance. many, many years and compiled into a book, and you immediately notice that all of them are very close to the recipe of the item, but just slightly off, as if something was lost in translation.

And it doesn't bother you too much until you get to the gumbo. And that is... Gumbbo gear? And it's... The rue is completely wrong. Halapeno's in a rue? But now's not the time to worry about that, as Gleam piles your plates full of food and you're all able to chat and have a good morning. Two hours past, you enjoy your meal, you help with dishes. Some of you do. Frost does.

And still, no sign of Ovid. Oh, no. You find yourselves, some of you still snacking on what's left over, but for the most part, the cleaning's done and the morning is, I mean, it's getting towards early afternoon. It was quite the bravest. You enjoyed it? I did very thoroughly, yes. Yes, Kermy. Thank you.

Tell us why you liked it, first thing. I thought it was great. Was it balanced enough for you? It was. I enjoyed having my orange juice with milk for no reason. Fucking weirdos. Why would you put that in the display? Pick one. I'm so glad you just voice something that's been bothering with it for this.

I feel very seen right in the way. Thank you. Thank you. That is my biggest pet peeve. Don't do that. It's disgusting. Anyway. Another two hours go by while we all joke about that.

No, that's true, yeah. None of us think of it. It's, I said it's getting towards early afternoon. It's late morning. It's late morning. You're around the earth equivalent of the, the Earth equivalent of 11 a.m. at this point. Well, Torback certainly hopes that Obed lived through the night,

because that was a concern that we had. Did anyone check on him? Oh, yeah. Isn't that around here? It's actually quite strange. He's normally such an earlier eyes out. Oh, no. I'm sure there's a reason and an explanation.

Well, maybe someone should go check on him his rooms at the very top of the stairs. Well, it can't be Doorbag, because if that's the first thing he sees in the morning, He will die. I will go check. Well, you head straight up the stairs, and you take an immediate left.

There's a small powder room right to the left, and then right next to that is the large bedroom that Obed sleeps in. Okay, I will go and knock on the door and politely invite myself in if there's no answer, and hopefully we'll find Obed there. without issue. Without his shoes?

That's what I said. It's not what I said at all. Why do you find him without his shoes on? Because he's in bed for one thing, that would be very strange, but that's also not what I said. Well, what if he's gotten up out of bed? You just want to find him without his shoes on?

What are you going to do with his feet? I'm going to go. Hets don't wear shoes, so it makes sense that he wouldn't imagine that Obed would have shoes on. He's not familiar shoes himself. Could I get one more, Hot Jones while we wait for frosting?

Yes, absolutely. The Hot Jones machine is currently working. Is there like a big jar? There's a big bat of Jones. All just in there, just screaming. Like a scene from the fucking matrix in the Yeah, I do like Gregiel and you got a machine. Like pick no lobster.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Anyways, for the fans. I'm contractually obligated to go, boom. Oh,

p. Yeah. Don't worry. Oh, there we go. Gosh, I hope it's okay. I'm making my way upstairs. I'm mumbling, I'm mumbling grumbly. You make your way upstairs and you are,

you're, this is an old man that you're dealing with. You know that he's the old. of the Brighamox, and you imagine that if he's sleeping, that you don't want to jolt him awake. So you are trying to tread lightly up the stairs, as you round the corner and you hear the sounds of the toilet beckoning to you, as you pass the room and head straight down the hallway

to what is enlarged arched door at the end. And you listen for a moment, and you hear nothing on the inside. You don't hear any sounds of snoring. occasionally you can hear the winning of the pony. It sounds like maybe the windows open in the room. You lightly wrap on the door and you wait for response, but nothing comes. Oh, God. I'll get this in half.

I'll bet it's morning frost. I don't want to intrude, but you miss breakfast. Sorry to deliver that news so harshly, but it is true. And I am going to have to come in and check on you if you don't respond to my answer. I love the process on there. Oh, but please. All you have to do is call out any sound or gesture. Well, not gesture.

I can't see you. Ovid. All right, I'm going to open the door, and then I'm going to peek in very slowly. I try the knob and see if I can open the door. You turn the knob, and it turns easily beneath your hand. As you push the door open, it gently creaks. The bed is completely made.

It doesn't even look like it's been slept in. And you look around for a moment, and then you realize that sitting in the soft, plush, armchair, next to the open window, a nightcap on his head, and fully bedecked in his pajamas, holding a book is Obin. Oh, I'm open. There you are. Staring straight towards you.

I don't know why you didn't hear me. You must have been consumed by your book. We just... I'm blinking. This is so bad. You've been done. I swear to God. What the fuck, Nikki?

Can you wrap this up in 30 minutes? And then they all went in a home. Oh, but I'm going to have to ask you to stop reading what you're reading and come join us downstairs. You're the only way that we have to continue this adventure, and without you, we're in dire, dire need of help. I blinked, but he doesn't. Obud?

Obed. As soon as I get within a few feet of him, and I start to reach out to touch his shoulder to give his attention, I realize that perhaps I should make a medicine check and understand what may be happening. Is he paralyzed? Does he look just dead? He's dead.

Is he dead? He's deceased. He's dead. He died in the night. Frost is all that. Says it to himself. Is that knowing Nikki, like, this is a classic Nikki fake out, but like also knowing Nikki, this guy's fucking dick. I don't know what you're back. I don't know what's happening. Oh my God. So you reach. and then you reach out and you see that he looks pale,

almost a little blue. Oh, no. His lips are, you see no rise and fall to his chest. You see his eyes are a little bit milky. He's holding tightly, almost too tightly to this book, as if his fingers are permanently formed around the edges of the front and back cover. And what was your medicine check?

Oh. I get an 18. I'm going to dread you. I get a 17. Okay, cool. Yeah, you, this man is, looks very dead. Oh, dear. This is terrible, this is.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure how to proceed here. It's the greatest moment of all that was. I'm so happy. What is he reading? I look at the book. Yeah. Well, he and I should have thought this through.

Really? He's reading a book called Tycho Stiltskin. Okay. Okay. Some sort of taste. little book. It seems to be a fairy tale, perhaps. About like, from what you can see reading on the page,

it's this guy who's a little pissed that his brother could spin flax into gold, and he's tried for his entire life and couldn't, and so he took to a life of crime. Flax into gold. Does it remind me of the gold spinner? Are you picking up the book? Well, I mimed pulling it free from his dead hands. I didn't

I didn't process a fly I crawled out of his mouth Sorry I didn't get that I thought you were like You had been walking around him So you're looking over his shoulder

reading the page that he was reading No it's good that we clarified For the podcast listeners Yes So you were confirming that you're ripping The book out of his hands Yes I would like to try to You wrench at the book

And it does not give His hands are completely, completely rigid around the edges of the book. You reach out and grab one of his fingers and begin to pry it backwards, and you hear a loud crack. As then you... Oh, my gosh. Oh, my fucking joints.

Oh, but are you all right? You looked like you were completely dead. What time is it? It's a little late morning. Did I go still skin? Did he do the gold thing? What? To Tyco Stilts and do the gold thing.

Do you mean he spun flax into gold? Did he do the gold thing? He's in the process of doing it now, according to the page you're on. I gotta go to bed. I've been up all night. I thought that you were gone. Your eyes were open. You didn't know I was sitting right here in this chair.

You didn't seem to be breathing. You were, you looked dead. You looked deceased. You looked completely as though you'd passed away in the night. Ovid? Oh my goodness. I try to take the book away from him again to see if I can trigger his awakeness again.

It's still in one of his hands. Yeah. I will pull his fingers and wake up, wake up, wake up, come on, wake up. The moment you rip the book free, you immediately see him begin to move. His finger that you bent back is quite swollen and crooked. As he, but he reaches out towards the book, Oh, I've got to finish.

I'm in the last chapter. I will give it back to you. Please stop going unconscious with your eyes closed or open or whatever it is that's happening. It's very disturbing. I'm having some severe heart palpitations. Well, let's get you downstairs, and then you can show us where the door is before this progresses. Oh, it's just down the front door. You just go down the stairs.

You walk through the kitchen right past the screaming on Jones. Yes. And then you walk past the brown couch on the right and the green couch on the left, right between the two roaring fireplaces, and the door. right there. That's the way through the secret portal. That's the way that... I'm asking how to get to...

I've remembered the name. Motherhorn. No, that's the door to my house. No, I'm asking, you need to lead us to Motherhorn today. That's the reason why I was... I'm not to go to bed. I haven't slept all night. No, no, no. You were asleep just now, I think. Unless you're shifting back and forth

between death and living. Ah! I'm exhausted. Very's already hear that. My eyes are burning. Yes, they were open all night. I feel like haven't blinked for days. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

I think I swallowed a tooth. I think that it was a fly, for whatever reason, they were buzzing around you. Do you smell that? You may need to use the powder. Yes, I need to use the powder room. Oh, I'm gonna change my, can I have my, can I have my book back to use? Yes, here's your book. I've kept your page, uh, I didn't, I didn't hear the, the page or anything.

the page or anything. Where was I? Right, right, right here. Right here, right. Oh, well, I've started over from the beginning. No, no, no, no, no. Take care of yourselves. Get some rest.

There's food downstairs. There's a little left, and you can energize. And then you can show us. So tomorrow, I'll take you to Mother Orr! No, no, we need to go today. We're, even though we relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and had a lot of camaraderie last night, we're actually in a terrible rush. It's out of the closet.

I would be happy to. Thank you. I will fumble around with my mind hand in the closet until I pull out, whatever I, what feels like boots. You do, and you turn back to the chair and he's... Oh, but... The boots drop. Obed, please! Oh, yeah.

You can't keep falling asleep with your eyes open like this. It's deserving. I sleep with my eyes open! Yes, that's why they're so red and dry right now. Oh, I thought it's because I didn't put in my clear eyes. Do you have clear eyes? Yes, he pulls his eyes out. and puts clear eyes in.

That is remarkable. He doesn't do that. He doesn't do that. Obed. We need you to lead us to Motherhorn today. You want to go right now! If you are up for it, I don't want you to continue to the... Well, you're not going to let me go to bed at three o'clock in the morning, Earth time.

It's not... It's late morning. You've missed breakfast, but we can make you something. There's plenty of hot jones. Please, join me. Did you get my shoes? Yes, your boots are right here. Would you mind, put him on my feet for me?

He reaches his toes out. You can see these really long gnarled toenails. He wiggles his toes at you. That gleam told said that you didn't wear boots. All right, here we go. Don't think he's doing something weird with his feet, yeah? No, he is a weird thing about our feet. He's not getting away.

I'm certain. Look at that star. man. Frost has some filthy Puff. All right, well. Thank you. Your help is very much appreciated. Right this way, and I'll take him by the shoulders and I'll try to lead him down.

And he walks down there. He looks like he hasn't slept. He looks like he's we just woke up from the dead. Here he comes, everyone. He's a little tired, but he's here. He's slunched. He's like hunched over like this. It almost looks like Frost is puppeting a dead. body down the stairs, but eventually, Obud makes his way downstairs, makes himself a cup of Hot Jones. He's very, very sluggish. You notice that one of his fingers is completely mangled.

And under his arm, he has a tattered old book that he eventually slips onto the bookshelf. And he drinks his Hot Jones. He doesn't really talk much. He's muttering. He seems crotchety, cantankerous, which is not necessarily the same person you had met the night before. But as the Hot Jones really hits, you begin to see the Obud that you met the day before starts to appear. He's, Obud's not himself before his morning cup of Hot Jones. I'll convey the details of waking up Obid,

using my telepathy to the group. Yes, his eyes are open all night. He's in terrible shape. I seem to have broken his finger just by trying to remove a book from his hands. It was like snapping a piece of Pocky. It was just a nightmare. Rebecca immediately blurt out

while you're giving this information in our brain. You broke his face. What? Who broke their finger? Yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah. You answer to your mind, Dorbeck. Oh, my finger broken! Yes, you may. Oh my God, Brons.

You don't have much time. He may go in a fucking minute. That was my concern as well. Stop, this isn't eat, crap. If he doesn't eat, he'll die from malnutrition. What would he do? He needs energy. What'd he do next? You look as he pulls a book off of the shelf and bites down on it,

and he just snaps his finger back into place. We really got it. It is. It's a horrific scene, but he, he, uh, he tuffs, he, he holds himself solid through it, he eventually splints up his finger.

It's as if he's done, you know, he's, he's, he's a rugged old guy living out here on his own. He had to do stuff like this before. I'm not going to get into all the details of preparing him to get downstairs, but let's just say that he doesn't smell like shit anymore. No, he still kind of does. What?

What happened up there, Frost? There's a faint smell of shin than also menthol's and worther's original. I mean, it actually just got it more smells like from breeds covered shit. Yeah. The other is still there. Okay. We have to move quickly. Oh, but there's actually something really cool outside that we wanted to show you

that we don't have time to eat beforehand. Well, I don't have time to look at it because Frost has let me know. I've got to get you to Mother Horde. Oh, well, you could do that first, and then you can eat, and then you can go look at the cool fingerprints on. I don't eat breakfast. Oh, good.

No. I'm a one meal a day, gotta. Oh. And oh, mad Chad. No, he's done it. This is what's been happening. He starts to drool for a few cents. Oh.

I don't know what's wrong with him, but. He just die standing, huh? Does he need breakfast? Frost, why don't you check the cup of and see if they have any of those cereal balls from the late 90s? You don't talk about? All right.

Nature's Valley. This is a nightmare. It's crumbled. There's no flavor here. Breakfast bar. I open the cupboard to find some form of portable nutrition while open a show. You find Pemmican bricks. Oh. Oh, no, mind of mine do. One of my special topics. I'll turn to glean. and I will say, Oh, but is in terrible shape. Look at him.

He's going in and out of some sort of... Oh, yes, he does this all day long. So he's not in any danger. Well, at least for the few days they've been here. Actually, he's doing it less today than usual. Oh. So there's no risk of him dying and that's... Oh, no, he's very close to death.

Okay, Omm. I don't think he has... And he knows this, he does not have much time left. Okay. Obert, we know that you're a very busy, busy man. As though a very busy Brighanoke, Obed doesn't have all day. Yep, and you're going to go all day, so you're going to see that really cool thing for Motherhorn. I don't have time.

I have to get frost over to Motherhorn. Okay, we don't have to, we'll do that first then. Come on. All right, let's go. Okay, let's go. Let's go. Goodbye. Come on, everybody.

What do you mean goodbye? Am I not coming? No, Gleem is coming. No. I mean, come on, Glenn. We're not going anywhere with that. Come on, I mean. And you all make your way out.

You follow Obin. He occasionally stops for out of nowhere and stays motionless for a while. And even though Gleam's telling you that this is less and pretty normal, it's definitely more than you saw the day before. But you eventually make your way off of the back of the pony and around towards the waterfall

that you had seen the day before. You have all regained your height, but Obit is incredibly small. He is a brigadoc by nature, and the magics that affect his house don't affect his size because he is as he is. But he eventually makes his way over to the waterfall, and he begins to chant these magical words in a language that you don't understand. And as he finishes, you watch as the waterfall begins to sparkle and eventually stop. And there is a long tunnel that had not. been there before that is now present for you to see. It's overhanging by these beautiful vines and more of those flowers that you saw the day before. It's quite a beautiful sight.

Well, you've got the entrance there in a mother horn. What that you got can you believe in the entrance above who was behind this waterfall? Wait, he's been there the whole time. I can't believe that. Although you checked on the waterfall. No, I wouldn't have ever guessed. Or, this is somehow magically emerged. I don't think it was a stand in there. He just pointed it out. Wow, of all the places I could have guessed at my horse.

No one would ever think behind the water pool. No one would ever think behind. That's the perfect place to hide them if you was trying to hide something. It really is. And now, I know we told you you couldn't come back if you went through that entrance, but you can. Oh. But only you. You try and bring anyone with you without your permission.

Wait. Wait. They die terribly, maybe? No, we'll just collapse the whole thing. Oh. Oh. But if you give them permission, we'll let them through. Wait, we just have to give them permission?

Yeah, that's how the rules go. It's like the tragedy. It's like the tragedy. It doesn't really make much sense, does it? Well, what if we like bring someone in there, leave them in there, and we'd, you know, give them permission first, and then we walk out and then we take away the permission, with the whole thing collapse down on them?

You have to collapse the whole thing. Then they'll die in there. Oh, all right. And you'll never be able to get out of Motherhorn the back way. No. And once you go in the back way, you got to come out the back way. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

That's not worth, actually. Yeah. Okay. And why me in the back way? Because that waterfalls been just spraying our lot of place. Cave mons. Yeah, cave, yeah. It's a lot of moisture.

You got to be careful with back splash. Yeah, we'll be, we'll be, we'll be, we'll be, we'll be, we'll be, we'll be, we'll be, Yeah, everyone watches stuff and make sure you don't slip. Make sure you don't slip in there. Thank you. Well, I've got work to do, but it was lovely meeting you, and don't forget, you owe open a favor. Oh, what favor should be used?

I can't breathe. All right, guys, we should go over. It's probably all that cave out, you know. You promised that you would solidify the peace treaty between ourselves and the corns. Yes, yes, we will do that. Yeah, no, I mean, peace trees, I mean, we've already done that before. I mean, we're actually quite good at negotiating between warring factions and bringing a new era to the realm. So it's quite, it's quite easy for us.

That's a lot of peace that I'm feeling. I mean, there will, one will, one will, you will need, there will be concessions on both sides, certainly. Of course, of course. There always is with peace. We may need to arrange a political marriage. Yes, well. But there, I mean, we'll handle all that once with none, at Motherhorn. How does that sound? Yes, that sounds lovely. We may need to host a grand tourney to celebrate.

I feel like my life's work is finally coming to an end. Oh. If only GOMO, we're still here. That can't be real, isn't it? Let's go. All right. Well, goodbye. Well, goodbye.

Hold on. Hold on just one second. Is anyone here to go-mo? This is this new information? Yeah. This is another MP thing we got to remember? I just thought he was sitting, I thought he was sending you up, man,

for your new, for your wish. I don't know. I thought it was a goomo these nuts. Goomo, Gomo, Gomo, Gomo, Gomo,

hey, Oben, Gomo, GOMmo, GOMO, GOMO these nuts. That's a bit of a stress.

Got him. But also, who is GOMO? Well, I don't really understand what you're asking, but GOMO was the second oldest of the Brickanox. He was,

Stolen by Bitter End for his schematics. Okay. Yes, he's the greatest engineer of all the Burganox. You think he's still alive. And he is my successor. But he's really old, though? But he's the second oldest? He's not as old as I am, but...

Why, you feel like... Yeah. Who's the third best engineer? Out of curiosity, how long have you been doing this? Since your predecessor died? My predecessor died. Many, many, many, many ages ago. Oh, okay, ages.

When I was but an old man. So, like weeks, months? How long ago? Ages. Ages. How long is it? Well, it's like, you know, how long's a generation? I mean, usually ages are like epochs that are set by great transitions in a land,

that, you know, a great war being won or a great peace being a ghosted. How old are you are, man? Oh, like if you had to put a number on it. I can't count. You can't count. You can't count. You can't count. I'm not the greatest engineer.

I'm not the greatest engineer. That's Gomo. That's Gomo. I thought you said Gomo was the second greatest engineer. Glemo is the second oldest Brick-a-knock in the group. I mean, everybody, every man of once upon the whistlight knows Gomo. He's up there with small moo. Hold on.

We're going to find normal, we're going to find small moo. Hold on on. We're going to find... You really can't count that all? Like if Dorebeck picks up a singular rock, you can't count it. That's a rock. How many is there? A rock.

If Dorebeck grabs one more. That's rocks. That's pretty good of counting. What? I don't mean. This is in good fellows. Check our quest long way. They got this big, like,

doing the books and open it up. And like, it hasn't even finished magically etching in, like, broker peace treaty. Even breaking on to the corns. And it starts writing, find Shmoremoo, whatever that fucking guy's name is. MoMA. Goma.

Mo'am. Okay. Goa-mo. Go-mo. Don't worry. We're gonna find go-mo. She is out of promise. No.

No. Oh, really? And that wish will think it. No, no, look, it's still an optional quest. See that like, so right? It's daughter. No, no, no. You said you're gonna do it.

That's, that's a verbal, that's a verbal promise. Oh, fuck. That was not a dotted line anymore. All right. Okay. We swear we will find Goldmow and bring peace of the Brickanox and the Coriads. That is the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me.

I will vow to bring, we have brought peace to Hiver. He reaches out and he puts his hands. hands on your shins, and as he does so, you watch the life leave his eyes as Ovid passes on to the next realm of life. You see that his body begins to change. And where had been this small Brighenough is now what looks more akin to a wishstone. The grave and three on a banana pier. It was his time, all right?

I'm that dead got juice on me shins. This was inevitable, okay? Oh, yeah, you're definitely cursed. Oh, you got ghosts in the shins, yeah. Yeah, you got ghosts in the shins. Oh, God, ghost in the shins. Oh, ghost. I'm gonna reach down and pick up this object.

What is this wish stone? Yeah, it looks like wish stone. Frost is plenty. Can I look inside? Does it look like a wish? You look inside. It looks very similar to wishstone. You notice the colors are a little bit different,

and there seems to be movement on the inside. Oh, I can see him finishing that book he was trying to read that last night. It was very sad. Frusty, we just killed a god. Well, no, I think he died of natural causes. To be fair, one of the first things he said to me when I met him was that he wanted to die.

He's very old and very tired. I think you might have done him a service. People say that a lot around us. There are some, there are some, especially fake creatures that live unnaturally long lives that will hold on to life for purposes like, responsibilities or feeling the weight of the community on their shoulders. And you promising to bring the second eldest back home might have given him what he needed

to feel like he could finally rest. He was holding on the life until five semi-criminal strangers showed up and made a vague promise. That was a pretty clear promise. Grinco, you killed him with a clear promise, man. We're in the faint wild. That promise is very binding. Always talk hooting and if you make a promise, and make a promise, you better mean it

and you better follow through because if we have, we don't have our word, what do we have at all? You know what I mean? We're going to need to find this, Golmo very quickly, too, in order to take care of the pony and the two dozen or so hot Jones stuck in that job.

I think, I mean, I think that, like, if we leave them, at least they'll eat each other. There might be, like, one or two while I'm talking about. But then we'll have a very large Hot Jones when we get back. Yeah.

Oh, that's the stave. That could be great. It's very saver. Yeah. Gleem, do you know what this stone is? It looks a little like a wish stone, but it's slightly different. She reaches out to grab it and she's like,

well, it's definitely magic of some sort. Oh, you're right, he is in there reading that book. He liked that one. He'd put it back on the shelf every day and then pick it back up in the evening. Hmm. Yeah. He never did get to the end, though, I don't think.

Oh, my gosh. Maybe you get restarting. Well, not now. You know, you get a certain place in a book and then you have to... Oh, look, he did finish it this time. Oh, and he's reading it again. He's starting it over. Oh.

So is he dead, or is this kind of tortured purgatorial afterlife? Oh, no. I believe he is most likely dead. This is probably a fragment of his soul of some kind, just a snapshot. A moment of peace replaying. Well, I think that we should leave it here for a memorial to him, I believe. I don't think we should take it with us. She looks over towards the stone wall

where the waterfall had been and those beautiful flowers. And she sees, she notices at the base what appears to be a mound of similar stones. Oh, it looks like they have a small graveyard over here. And she puts the stone on top of it. And if you go look, you'll see that there are a hand full of stones here, roughly maybe 30, 35 or so at a cursory glance, and all of them seem to have a very elderly Brighanock

in it, enjoying a peaceful moment, a snapshot of their life. Looks like the elders. Some form of elder graveyard of the wish stone keepers. This is going to stick with Torback for a while. Gosh, me mom always warned me this would happen. Your mom warned you that you would kill a Brickonock elder. They would turn into a stone that would be placed by me, on a graveyard of old people?

She always hated me short pants. She said, Gregor, if you keep wearing shorts, your sins will get haunted one day. And I said, Hey, Mom, I like wearing me short pants. Don't tell me to wear long pants. They're very uncomfortable. I said, oh, Gregor, you may wear them this time,

but one day you'll get haunted. Oh, me mom was right. I shouldn't listen to him. Oh, man. I've seen a little long pants. Well, at least there's no corpse to, you know, bum out the vibes. I don't think that we should say a few words and leave the stone here. We only know a new a bit for the evening, but...

We should say a few words. He was... He was a really nice fellow, at least my experience with him. When he wasn't, he was cantankerous in the morning. Yes. Why don't we actually take it with us instead? Because how about we get to GOMO and we're like, instead of five strangers, here we have the captured soul of your clothes for him.

That's how you know you go. We won't give it up on it. Exactly. I mean, that's just leverage. Okay, fellas, that's just good. I feel like, I feel like, in response, it's going to be like, you didn't leave that in our elder's graveyard with the other stones? Why, like, how disrespectful?

Yeah, but I kind of think somebody should put it back. Colmo, how about you walking this way and put it in the elder graveyard? Oh, guys, I feel like, we should say some more. words. I feel like we can't just move on. I know we have an adventure. I know that I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and just get on with this adventure, but I feel like we can, I mean, he died touching me. Guys, he died touching me. He died touching me. I mean, a certain element a no takes his back season. You got to be the one to say the word. Oh. I guess I could take my hat off. Okay, everyone take your hats off.

Polonella, please stop buzzing so loudly. We're trying to say a moment to quiet. Oh, God. Have you been in this whole time? She's been buzzing around the flowers and... She's probably moving faster now because of the caffeinated nature of the flowers. Very much so.

Say what you need to say, Grico and unhaunt your shins. Oh, we don't have to say something? No, no. I think just Grico, man. I mean, he killed the guy. Yeah, I don't know to say that last. It makes it even more. Okay, everyone gather around the stone.

All right. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone gather around a stone. Um, Obed was man who loved his books. Hmm. He loved Hop Jones and he loved wishes. And he thought that, you know, hey, when people make a wish, maybe I should take that from them

and turn it into a stone so they have to come find and go on some sort of quest. request. And then he decided to go all touching missions. And he also had the friend named Glein. He was well respected. A village elder. He jowd wishes, forge wishes. He was a, he had a good pony or something. The pony's right next to you. Oh, pony. Steaks the tears up and bats the tears with the cloth. And his memory and his wish will remain here forever, but his mantra will be taken up by... Smohmo.

Skomo. Skomo. Gomo. We're taken up by Gomo. He will not be forgotten by the Brighornado, at least. And he was a good friend. And he was a good friend. Oh, but thank you for the wishes.

Your hospitality will not go and remembered. Hey, Grego. Yeah, Joe. If he knew he was going to die and he picked you to die on that, pretty messed up. Oh, Torbeck, sorry. I mean, thanks, Torbeck. I just don't, I mean, maybe it was an accident.

I mean, you don't think he should have a little bit of one. I mean, I mean, All I'm going to say is I'm going to think and manifest positive thoughts that when I close me eyes the first time I go to sleep and I don't see you in the corner of the room. Oh, there you go. It's not going to be like when I turn and in the dollhouse room I see me dead mother like in the redditory. I'm going to freak the fuck out if that happens.

Just remove any chewy chairs before you go to sleep and you'll be fine. Oh, wash your knees. Oh, did I ever tell you about the story of Omo the Wise. Oh. Who's Omo? Oh, that's not Obed. Omo is actually

Me lead cannon ship Obed. Oh, bet. You know the shit name on Wapha. It sounds very Grindlewold and Dumbledore. I don't know. I'm not sure about this one.

Uh, term excited that having a shared aeerism. Uh, well, well, that wasn't a, Absolutely lovely eulogy. Ashes to Ash, oh, that. But now that you have found Gleam, you are now making your way into Motherhorn,

I do believe that it's time for Paul and Ella and I to say our goodbyes. You're leaving Amtipur? Well, we had long conversation last night, and we don't think, yes, of course. And we don't believe that Motherhorn is where we are headed. Our mission was to help reunite Gleam and Glister.

Yes. But now that Glein is here with you, I believe that you will be able to help her rescue her sister. And we are no longer needed. We also have intel that there is another queen bee that the cyclops beekeeper has in his possession. And I must, of course, rescue her. Oh, yeah.

Let's go right now. Would you like to come? Yeah. We're going to Motherhorns with a back entrance. Are you crazy? I would like to discern if Amdipur as being a certified freak. Yeah. Roll an inside check.

Derek, I need a D-20. Here, take this one. I'm just picturing Amdipur. Natural fucking 20! The Torbik just squins his eyes. He's just like looking deep into this sick fuck soul. You, everything he's saying seems to be true. He does seem to be hiding some information from you,

but he does believe that there's another Queen Bee, and he does seem like he is leaving with Pollanella to go to the Cyclops Beekeeper. To where it snarves and eyes, just watching him. He's watching this cyclopee. We're kind of in the middle of the memorial service, and you're really making this all about you. I just narrowed to the time.

That is now in the time. I mean, I can sense of the trouble of hair, I'm sorry. I thought you were done with the memorial service. I mean, you just fucking died like five seconds ago. Well, Bricka was talking about his what fan fiction, about the dead man and his potentially brother. I was a part of it.

He does that know as he Googles. Yeah. Um. But I do believe that I should be on my way. And as he finishes up, Gleam said, oh, yes, I do. You don't need to come with me. I do believe that our new friends,

that they could potentially help, but I don't think that Endelin would be too happy to see me in Motherhorn. Maybe I could wait in the cave. And if you find my sister, you could give a permission to join me in the cave, and then we could be on our way. You're saying none of you want to come with us. I said.

I don't know. You did just kill an elderly man. Oh, what? Me? No, I'm just... I didn't kill no, I know you didn't. No, he was ready to go. Hey, I just want to say,

Gideon said that we were terminally criminals, and while there may be a handful of warrants out for all of our arrests, all of the deaths were manslaughter and not murder. Alleged. Alleged. Yeah, alleged. He said, man. He said, man.

He made slaughter for a record. No negligence, but not murder. So we didn't, all none of us killed no old man. No, what murder, no, we never murdered. And even there, you can't put us at the scene, you know? I mean, there's no evidence. Yeah, you, you have no proof. I'm not accusing you.

Oh, you just said. I mean, well, we could murder us or psychops. I mean, that sounds kind of fun. I mean, we should keep it on the list. If you would like to come with me, I'm going to use some of Pollinello's special pollen, and I'm going to create a quick portal to to the beekeeper and deal with what I need to deal with. She made it specially for me last night.

You just promised a ghost, man, after your Oracle mother told you to have a shins cursed. We can't go to the sidecloth! You're gonna get other things cursed. You got shin cursed. How's the sound we got? There's no way to know. We told the NPC that we were talking to so many weeks ago in real time

that we were going to be there in 13 days. Wait, which MBC? The King of Arts. King of Arts. Oh, that MBC. Yes. Oh, man. But how many long rest have we taken?

How many days have passed? How many times have you seen the sun cross the sky and then the night? I feel like if it was getting close, he would show up and say, Oh. That's a pretty embarrassing. Oh, that's actually. Possibly. Possibly.

Pond is running out. You shouldn't ought to be doing that. Torbred thinks we should let Omdipur get on his way. And just let him have up the Cyclops adventure fun without us? Yeah. Perhaps he'll fail, and then we can go rescue him from the Cyclops later. Ah! He's a good chance of him all, Amdipole.

Well, I was successful the first time. I've got a 100% success rate at stands. I can't imagine I would fail. I mean, hubris is the fatal flaw of many would-be heroes. Oh, no, I just broke the lead on my pencil. Humorous among other things. I'm gonna before the fall. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, on.

Does anyone have a small blade for me to wittle this tip down? I'm pretty sure Gideon has one. Gideon always has, yeah, he loves talking about his knife. I don't know how I'm going to write a, I don't know how I'm going to write a poem, Polonella with a broken tip. Well, Gideon's got a read.

I said it right here, I got a cool knife. Why would you say it like that? You know you all sick, fuck I'm the point. My friend just died. Excuse me. You're talking about the broken tip? Well, yes, I just snapped the tip off of my pencil, Kremie. Well, it just feels disrespectful right over the sky's fucking equivalent.

Let's move away from the graveyard. Yes, just walk away. I don't know, should we finish the disservice and fucking move on? You don't have to raise your voice at me. Yeah, give me a flask. The pony is still grieving. Can you see the grieving pony? Yes, it's weeping.

But I'm not the one that killed its friend. We didn't kill him. He died naturally when he realized that his life's worth was completed. It's very, very natural. Yes, yes. Oh, it's going to be okay. Well, I'm going to be on my way, then. People.

I am very confused about the friendship that we have fostered over the past few days, but I do believe, regardless of some of the things you have said recently, that we are kindred spirits of sort, and that we have a deep connection between, all of us, and this friendship will last us well into the many adventures that lie in our futures. Thank you for your generosity. Should you ever find yourself in, well, wherever I am after, I kill the Cyclops beekeeper and steal the colony of bees, especially the new queen.

Oh, I got to say it like now. I'm trying to like, I'm a ministered up for you, and you can say, you're just saying it's I might create myself a kingdom of honeies. Honey. And when I do, you're always welcome in my court. How do you plan on getting there? Well, Polonella made me a special pollen last night. I'm going to sprinkle it about myself,

and I'm going to dance thrice with a shins. And I will teleport directly there, blade unsheathed. And vengeance in my heart. The only first met and you're like, oh, I can help you get there. And we're like, oh, you can teleport us there. Like, I don't fucking dead aboard. I walk there.

Remember that? Cremie, I'm pretty sure that he said he couldn't. He's using Pollinella's She's had a special poem this whole fucking time. No, do you remember last night when Obed said, do you have anything unfinished that you need assistance with? I would be more than happy to help. The rest of you said absolutely nothing.

And so after Obed went to sleep, or after Obed went upstairs to read his book, I went upstairs and rapped lightly on his bedroom door. He allowed me entrance, and we had a lovely conversation about his book. And then I told him of the plight that I'd found myself in. And he looked into the weave with his Brighenock magic and told me of the second Queen Bee.

And then he casts a gentle spell upon Pollenella, giving her the ability to return herself and anyone she would like to her kin, which would be the bees that this beekeeper has stolen. And so overnight she produced her new magical pollen. We are going to be on our way. I was shocked that you didn't ask for something. He had incredible magic, but I guess that is well within the realm of someone so old. Their preachers do tend to get more powerful as they get older. He's dead now. Yeah, he's dead now. And with him all that magic crystallized.

Man. Well, you should be on your way. Perhaps Colmo will be able to help. Yes, I agree with Torbeck. Well, as I was saying, it was lovely to befriend all of you, and should you make your way to my kingdom of honey to honey, I would love to have you.

And... Okay. We will play even... One more, loopin' chewy. Good luck on, before. We will see you when we see you. We'll find you. He bows before you.

We'll look you up in those pages. Well, we're going to go to the edge of the chasm, find a little bit of privacy, and we will be on our way. All right. Good luck. Have fun. Be safe. That's funny.

And may you be successful in your endeavors. Okay, we'll look you up in the Chautruce Good day, sir. Good day, sir. Good day, sir. Good day, sir. Good day, sir. Good day, sir.

Good day, sir. Song of that. Song, glass. Good day, milady. It's goodbye, I'm de Paul. And he turns and he saunters away. Well, Paul and Lello, we've got so much to do, and he scratches at her little behind.

Oh, you are so cheeky. And then they make their way to the edge of the, edge of the chasm, and do you. do what they need to do to get Psycholpe's beekeeper. Do you think he's even teleporting or he's just hiding back there, like a freakazoid? That guy's hiding something. Torbett can tell. He's not telling the full truth. I thought he was cool at first, but now I'm not sure.

That guy is one sick fuck. Yeah. I was really trying to stick up for him after he, but he wouldn't stop talking. I was really trying to like really get to try and say, well, maybe it was a misunderstanding. You're gonna end up in Motherhorn. We're gonna find out that guy's on like six different lists. Yeah, no, I don't know. Well, he's gone.

Not much to do about it now. I'll start taking the lid off of Gens Flask. Oh, baby, oh, bud die. Life goes on. All right, let's get the fuck out there. Yeah, I like that a lot. I like that a lot. And I'll start walking towards the waterfall.

You step into the water a little bit. You have to wade through it a bit, and there are some, there are some tall stones that you have to step between before you eventually make your way to the entrance to the waterfall. Gleam follows timidly behind you. She seems nervous. You can tell that she has a lot of apprehension

making her way back into Motherhorn. But she looks between all of you and you see her physically become more emboldened. Why she seems to trust you or believe in your capabilities? That's anyone's guess, but she does. as she follows all of you through this tunnel. It is cool. As you step into this, you're immediately hit

with the mist that's been accumulated in this place. And Obid was right. The entrance to the back end is incredibly slick and moist. And you almost slip, I need you all to roll a dexterity saving throw. Oh, hey. I'm good at that. I don't know what I'm good at this.

18. Well, help. Torbeck got a natural one with a plus eight for nine. Torbeck spoke too soon. 14. Good. 10. Everyone except for Torback,

able to hold themselves upright. But Torbeck, as he steps in, your feet slip out from under you as you step on some of the longer hair hanging from your legs. Your feet slip out from under you and you land in the mud. Ass first, I guess. Your entire back is covered in the muck and grime of this place.

You are soaking wet, and your fur begins to soak up the water as all of you becomes waterlogged. You look like a puppy caught in the storm. Oh, Torbag. Torbay slipped, sorry. It's okay, tour bag, it's slippery, just watch the step. to end, lad. Torbemate weighs like 50 more pounds now. Here, just don't move.

I'll get out. Grico roll a Dick Sto, same throat disadvantage. Go on a bill. Yeah, come on. No, I got it. I got it. Okay, all right, let's see it. Just stop moving. Come on.

Come on. I help me be made him. Let him dry. Let him do it. Oh, man, Torbeck's already starting to stink again. Okay, you go to show that's like 400 pounds of machinery, oh gosh, that's a lot of heavy metal. How do you walk with your bones?

Yeah, Torbick's not sure. How are you with your bones? What did you get for your dexterity saving throw? Oh, me? Disadvantage. Oh, no. Oh, that's not terrible. Okay, uh, hold on.

12. You are, you pull and pull and pull on Torbeck. You are not, you don't slip. But you are not strong enough to pull him up off the ground. You actually just drag him around. He's collecting debris and more dirt. It's significantly worse for him than it would have been to just leave him in the muck. Yeah, definitely going to rock as high.

Give you a hat, man. All right, stop, stop, stop. This isn't working. Get it. Get me. All right. Get me. Oh, no.

Oh, God. I'm helping me, mate. I'm helping me, mate. Grigo. Give it up, man. I have to help. Grigo, you just can't do it. You hate shakes four and you don't rope for you.

You see, Devin. I know you gotta accept that you're just a small guy. You could turn into some form of draft cards, so if you wanted to. Well, that would be the easy way out. The cowards right out, please me. I could turn into a, I could turn into a Sarah Pard right now. Yes, yes, you could.

But I'm not going to. Yeah, don't do that. Because I don't need to. Okay. No, no. Come on, here we go. I got you. I used my.

Come on, man. I got you. Oh. Oh. Yeah, you don't even need to roll for it. You are strong enough to just follow up. Sorry, Grico. I could have, I could have.

I couldn't do it without you, Grico. Okay. You really, you really dug him deeper into the ground, but we don't you think? He still looks like shit, though, don't you think? Hold on, Tombeck. Stand still. Stand still.

Okay. And I'll start snapping and casting, just to clean him up. God, this cage smells like open. And I'll take out like a comb, and I'll sort of try to comb some of his fur out of his face. Oh, thank you. Grab your collar and like, all right, there you go.

Good as new. Well, I guess we're just going to make our way to Mother One. But what is our plan when we get inside? Oh. We're going directly into the prop room, and there is no way out without being accosted by the goblin that runs the productions. We need to be ready to perform.

Well, you do, I'm going to stay in the cave. Oh. We did not have time to come up with my disguise, and I cannot go in looking as I am. We probably will discuss it beforehand and not get caught off guard. Are you sure that you are gonna stay in the cave? I'm sure this cave is incredibly long.

Okay. We'll have more than enough time to figure it out in this cave. And thank God for that, because for only the people you'd met along the way had warned you that this was coming. Are you remaining here in the cave, or are you going to just escort us to the prop room, and then you're going to return to the pony house in order to enjoy hot jobs? I'm a little bit of column A, a little bit of Colum B. Okay. You should have taken one to go.

As long as, I mean, we could go back and get some. I mean, the house is empty now. Oh, yeah, it is, isn't it? I want to say no. And we left that pony all alone in its grief. You should go back and take care of the hot Jones and the pony. And if you're not coming with us because of the obvious cognitive burden that it puts on the Game Master, then I think that that's a totally reasonable thing.

It's a funny thing, but it's actually written in the book that she doesn't work. Oh, really? Oh, really? Oh. You can't prove that. I can't be rough. I can't read it to you. No, you can't prove that.

And what I will say is it does help quite a lot. Yes, yes. Well. Because I would like to use this voice again for someone else. It's a very nice voice. Thank you. We shouldn't leave pony alone in their grief. It's, I mean, we can't leave him alone.

Didn't we learn that the pony wasn't really a pony? It was some kind of a hollible fake creature. Oh, yeah. It means that the pony is smarter and has feelings and little sapiens seven more Why don't we bring the pony there? Because that's because mother horse no place for a little pony like that. Do you guys think the pony can fight? No, the pony is a lover, not a fighter.

You see those genuine tears of love? It's a level 23. Like, it's a CR 23. Yeah, we don't know. Yeah. We don't know. It's the only counter to the Jabberwock. Shit.

I think it's best if you bake a tray of lasagna and bring it over to the pony's house, to see how they do. So you don't want me to accompany you all the way. No, probably not. All right, well, I'm leaving then. You promise that you will find my sister Glister, and you will give her permission. You only got two shins.

To travel through this cave and return to me in Obert's house. Well, the empty house. You promise. I like, to cover my shins. My promises, are you gonna die? No, of course not. I don't have a wish for death. Okay. We promise you're going to find your sister

and we're going to bring her back. Oh, well, right. Lovely. And I know that we may have skipped just about everything in Viva, but I feel like in Yon. I've got a good feeling about Yon. We're going to make it up in the back after. We got to be done with you. I feel good about us. I got to feel good about this. We promise Don't curse my shins. I like back up.

I'm not going to curse your shins. Well, I'm going to go make some lasagna. And if, here's what I'll say. I've been to Motherhorn before. You will not find dinner palatable there. So if you can find your way into the tunnel at least once a day, I'll provide you with a box of deletons, snacks and food. so that you can manage your time.

So you're saying that you'll be at the back of this cave every day with delectables so that in case we come down we can get some cupcakes? Yes, I will deliver some delicious treats for you so that you will not go hungry while you're in Motherhorn. And I will make sure to take care of the pony, Fred. And then when you return with both Glister and Gormo, we will be a family once again.

So the food is gonna sit in the cave? Well, she's going to deliver it I'll deliver it every day. She's got to eat out of this electable box in the cave once a day. Don't worry, it's a temperature control magical box. But yeah, I mean, that's how the way from Rachel was presented. That sounds about right.

Do you think it's going to taste like Fibrize and shit? It's a little picnic basket. Are you insulting the food that I created? You tried my breakfast. No, no, I was going to about the cave stinks of Fubrize and shit. Well, it's going to be in a... It's going to be in a good... a container of colding, a bag of coal.

I just don't understand. She's gonna make sure that the cupcakes or whatever she brings her. As long as you're not leaving it on a styrofoam plate, like in the middle of a cave and then walk away and come back. Oh, who uses styrofoam? What do you think this is, the 90s? Well, I mean, from a certain point of view.

We trust you to bring us food and we will thank you for your effort. If we don't come down, it's because we're engaged in some fight or some theatrical event or perhaps we're dead. But we will do our best to bring back your sister

Glister and... I said it like four times and I never got him, but you say it, Derek. It's that voice he uses. It makes everything funny. Sister Glister. And, and... Oh, is that our actual name? Is it? Glister. Yes.

Is Glister? It's just a Glyster. I just messing with the name. No, sister Glister. Oh. And... You're adorable, Mace. I thought it was the wrong. We're making a lot of promises, and I won't promise for Cremian.

And I believe that you have kept every single one of the promises you've made. Every, well, you seem trust. Viva was a, whee. But it's a good feeling about yon. I feel like this cyclops, we've got to loop back around and, you know what I mean? But. I have notes here for it.

What I'm gonna say is that if we get to pay our debts, we've got a nice carnival, what could use some trapeze artists. Well, my sister and I will be looking for work once you've destroyed Motherhorn. All right, well, good to know. I would say sign the both of us up for Carnivalal crew. Okay. And also, I mean, you've done.

Going in the quest log. We've got, I mean, and the way you can throw your voice, I mean, building onto the garrison. I know Kremi has a bit of, Krami will tell you that they're the worst scum on all of Antras. ventress, but often there is value to maybe inquire about a ventriloquist. Oh, I know a great ventriloquist. I'll get you in contact with my people.

Oh, okay. Are you suggesting we fucking hire ventriloquist? Yeah. And who's gonna pay for the opium that we need to give him? You? It's on my job. You got to find it somehow. I just find it over here.

I mean, I can barely keep talking. I can barely keep Tobegs having it, babe. That's why I've got to fight every mama and jazz musician of entriloquist. I got a turnerbeks got to be honest, Torbex's getting a little itchy. I'm just saying the boomers love ventriloquism. That's all I'm saying.

All right, well, goodbye. Goodbye, Glein. It's lovely to meet you. All right, well, Fred, here I come. Okay. Makes her way out of the tunnel. She slips and slides out and you hear a loud splash. Well, fuck.

But she, um. Acrobatts, you know. God's, I'm glad Adam DePore is gone. I'm glad that's my whole unnecessary. Oh, that's very funny. Yeah. We need to talk. We have to think of a name and an act.

They've been very clear about this. Multiple people have told us that this is a important and we need to make sure that we aren't unprepared. Are you walking or you just standing here? No, we're going to role play walk in real time the entire length of the cage. It's going to be kind of like that scene of snake eater when he climbs the ladder. Oh, what if we're, snake eater.

Yeah. Didn't somebody say that they're just going to like give us three plays or something? And we got to pick one? No, no, no. We have to come up with a name for our troop. And we have to come up with whatever we want to perform. There's some kind of tragedy. A variety of tragedies that are here,

but I'm not sure if they're already being performed or if we could try them, and perhaps we want to put our own original spin on it, LeCrew style. But we can't use the name LaCrue. No, we can't. No. How about Sir C2 Cremet?

What do you think? I don't like that. Cerecée de Cremet. I feel like that's not a disguise. Your name is Cremet. Mr. Cremet. Wait, so we're not going to use Cremie or LeCrew? No!

We don't need that. You also remember that you were told that Circus and Cirque and those things wouldn't impress Endland. Yeah, I know. It's all theater kid stuff, man. Wait, do you, do you apply that it needs to even have crummy, all the crew?

Well, I'm just out of ideas. Past that. I feel like that's something that, I mean, I feel like that's very, it's a bit of, I don't know, a little ego thing to say. Hmm. I'm surprised, maybe. I'm in charge, it kind of makes sense, you know?

I guess so. It's my fucking carnival. It's carnival all the crew. I mean, technically, I guess... Can you roll a group perception, Jack? Your name is, I guess, technically, on all of the paperwork. We don't have any of that. They're 24.

Yeah, you know, the company credit cards you all have. That's my fucking personal credit, you understand that? 18. As a credit card? Oh, sorry. It's your credit? Yeah, it's my credit. Well, credit, it's just free money.

Only my boy said, I'm going to go to the machine. And just she got free money. put in a card and free money came out. I can't believe you gave Grigo a credit card. That's a nightmare. 13. I got a 13. Okay. Perception?

Yeah. 21. Okay. Grummy. 12. You are walking through this. You're having this conversation. And this tunnel was significantly shorter than you expected. As you round a corner, you come to the very end of the tunnel.

And you notice, just as you're about, just as you're about, just as you're a Just as you're about to walk straight into what it first looks like a solid wall, but you eventually come to see is there is an opening there. It's just filled with small black stones, and they could be pulled away, and you could be allowed entrance into this. And you can immediately hear the sounds of Motherhorn, the sounds of actors, acting, comedians, comediening, performers performing. They're right up there.

But there's clearly like an entry. Yeah, there are rocks. But as you walk up, you see that they're shaking and they're about to just completely fall. I walk up to the rocks and I turn around and go, Oh, yeah, the waterfall's still right there. And the horse would just think of God. How did we not even see this?

That's crazy. We need to think of a plan right away. If we know if we're unprepared, then the goblin stage hand apparently is very sinister and evarious. It seems threatening. Oh, God. Like if you're, like, you're an acting teacher.

Oh, God. Yes, yes, who knows? Oh, gosh. I mean, if Andapol was the good guy in this story, I'm very good. Oh, yeah. That's not good at all. I'm really worried about John, guys. I know it's a good feeling about it.

I don't know. I'm not going to be a good dude by John. Oh, yeah, we're in trouble. It took every fiber of my being, not to say buzz off when he left. I'm very proud of you, Foster. That's character growth. Thank you. Okay, so we need a come over name.

Yes. What about the cruiser rob? What do you think? Oh, Torrey loves it. That still sounds swaggered? Vakery, sy. Cramy? Yeah.

I don't think we could say your name, buddy. Okay, well, it's a tragedy, right? Mm-hmm. What about cramped? D'ampton. Cremt? Cremt? Yeah.

It's great. It's like a modern retelling of Loboim. Oh, that sounds pretty entertaining. What's the twist? I can't say. Oh my god. That's very funny. Then we don't have a solution.

That's gonna go to a lot of people's hands. Yeah, that's the funny. 90% of you don't get that. That's very funny. Holy shit. Oh. Well, I don't know. Someone else can have some fucking ideas.

Perhaps we should perform something that's about Why am I forgetting the name? What was trying to say earlier? Bitterend herself. If we perhaps picked one word that described her sinister or evil, we could do a whole music. Yeah, ugly.

Oh, I think bitter and fucking sucks. We could call it bitter. We could call it, hmm. Malevolent. Malevolent. Vile. Twisted. Yeah

Filed backside Yeah Oh yeah Why don't we call it Twisted Twisted? Twisted Twisted Twisted is not bad Tristed

To be the story of How she's misunderstood But it still ends in tragedy And our group name Twisted Glister I don't hate it Is that gonna give away Our plans?

It's a little on the nose I think that's perfect, man. Oh, we're not a twisted blister. She's a nasty eye guy. That's not bad. That's not, but it's that. I mean, it's pretty egoful to, you know, name the show after our group name, don't you think?

Well, if we're twisted blister, and the show's called twisted. Hmm. I'd rather keep the twisted for the show name and find a troop name. Fine. Throw out my idea. Okay, hold on.

First of all, I wanted to say, just from earlier, the moment passed, but I think that Obed cursed me strength and my knees. That's why I couldn't lift Torbeck. I think it was a withering curse. I just want to just go on record to say. For one that's worth, everyone had already forgotten you tried to help Torbeck out.

Well, I didn't forget. I was gonna be thinking about it for the rest of the day. Okay, all right, understandable. Okay, what about the Croulon Rouge? Oh, Doregloz! That's a really, yeah, yeah, that's actually going to. How does one spell, uh, Le Coulon Rouge? Yeah, Crulant, Rooge. Rooge should be,

should be spelled R-O-G-U-E. That's how you spell it, that is. We're playing D&D, ever. Crulon Rook. I love. I love. I could actually work. Does I feel like more the play name or the troop name?

I think that's the play name. Oh, that's pretty good. That's pretty good, actually. You know what I think about it. It's a tragic story. It's a tragic story. Truly terrible. What's the main, what's the cause of the main tragedy in that play?

That, the emotional climax of the show. is played to the tune of Crazy by Alcylowe Green. It's the real tragedy in that stage. But we're gonna keep it to the film. We're gonna keep it to the film. That's very funny. You had a good time. Yeah.

It may have been a bit of a disaster, but we had a good time. Yeah, well, it was fine. I mean, I'm talking about all the fucking ideas. I mean, all of us come out of valuable ideas. Gidey, why don't you suggest something? Well, we can all have ideas. It's not just crummy, just because crummies

the technically owns of joint. Well, what are we suggesting on now? Is it the name of the group or like the show itself? I'm not very good at great and funny parallels, those that really exist. I think we just need a name for our troop, our company, our production, the group that we are.

Oh, I've got it. It's about a bunch of ghost trains. Just sing about who they are and no one knows what actually happens at it. And it's called Ghost Lord Express. Oh, Ghost Lot Express. Ghost Lot Express. Is that a tragedy?

I don't really know. I think they just say, I'm the one that does I'm not one that does this, I'm the one that does this, I'm the one that does this, and then it adds. No, it wasn't, that's that musical about rats. No, it's the same premise. Basically, one is about rats and one is about ghost trains. No, but it's the same concept.

It's all the popsicle rats singing about, like what they do, and that's all pop-upon-no. No, that's exactly, it's the same fucking story. It's what I'm trying to tell you. Oh. One is about ghost trains and one is about rats, and you're saying, I'm the one that does this, I'm no one that does this, I'm the one that does this fucking cutting. That sounds easy, but it doesn't say.

but it doesn't sound very fucking tragic. No. It's pretty sad. No. Oh, gosh. Oh, I mean, they did just do a stage adaptation of um,

um, uh, C cucumber Robert rectangle trousers. Oh, is that true? Yeah. I had no idea. Yeah, CQCucumber Robert, uh, rectangle trousers.

They just did a stage adaptation of that. That's wild. They're turning anything into a stage production these days. Man, this is hard, guys. What about the tallback of Crem, the Dom? What? He's having a stroke. You know, you want to know how to get to a D&D session as a GM.

Just ask your players to make a decision. Mm-hmm. And your session will be played for you. You don't have to prepare. Well, I mean, Torbeck could play the Tollback. It's a disgusting, idiot, idiot, creature with a heart of gold. Why would D'Orbeck play that role? Because we don't have to go to the costume.

What do you mean, Gideon? Why? We don't have to go to a wardrobe, but just go straight to the stage. Why is that the case, Gideon? What do you mean, man? You don't own a mirror? What do you mean, Gideon? Well, I'm just saying, it's been well established.

That's your physical appearance. Gideon's right. I mean, that sounds pretty good. I mean, I hear if there's some sort of wise, fool, jester character, I think I know just the person to play. All right, we're doing La Cue L'Rouche. Oh. That's the show.

Okay. Okay. It's thrown out Torback. Well, I mean, unless we can think of a snappyer name. I like a true of my best. I like the Crewloon Rouge better. It feels more... Yeah.

If we were all kin to the spirit of our group. It was the best name, yeah. Yeah. Okay, LeCru-Lan Rouge. Yeah. Because she can't look a sup. She can say, oh no, um, could I call collect to Mr. Remy Garou? I got your employer here.

Come find him, please. She can't do that, can she? What if it was Garou L'en Rouge? Oh, that's pretty good. And a bit of a little bit of a puff, a little bit of a puff play. A little bit of prologue. And so when he hears back, I'll say,

I heard about this great play about me. Maybe I'll cut the deal of these guys would run out on debt. And it's about a giant red riverboat with a huge water mill in the back. Oh. Oh. A greedy businessman and entertainer

is on his last legs. And he's relying on the star of the show. Played by me, of course. Oh. You can sing diamonds are, uh, Diamonds are a lizard folks have a best friend. Yeah, that one's fine, I guess. Maybe someone else can play that role.

Anyway, we can workshop it. We need it. It's really good. The Rueong Rouge is great. Yeah, it's great. I feel like Krily would just offer the painting. That was awesome. That was awesome.

Right now. I haven't made any notes, but I'm running that down now. Yeah, lock it in. Oh, my gosh. Cremi was offered a plate of banyards and he ate and left no crumbs. Oh my gosh. And then, oh, got it.

And then the greedy businessman is on hard times and the riverboat, maybe cold the hundred catfish, is failing. And then a mysterious alchemist who's very wealthy comes in, he says, oh, I will sell my greatest songbird to you. And he has a dark secret. I don't know what it could possibly be, but he's up to no good.

Wait, when are you in Benyais? I'm liking this. I mean, it kind of works, hey? Wait, does he have a magical fountain of, like, animal transformations? I probably got, like, I don't know, like a fountain of something weird, creepy. I mean, the alchemists are a whole bunch of weirdness. Oh. The whole bunch of perfids and sex pests.

Regardless, the main character should die at the end. That's right. And if it says tragic as I imagine it will be, then Bitter End will be crying by the end of this show, and will have won her favor. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash Legends of Evantris

and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over saltmarsh. You can also go to The Crooked Moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement,

The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Who will play the corrupt, greedy businessman? Truly vile and wicked, unredeemable, and cares only about wealth and gold. It is really a shame that we didn't have gleam for the main role.

She would have been perfect for it, and she's only 20 feet in that direction. She's gone too far. That'll be funny if one of you do it. Okay, true. All right. What's our troop name? We need troop name. We need troop name.

Yeah, we got a lock night and then we get... These stones are really shaken. Oh. Uh... The players. I think it needs a little more spice. Well, I mean, maybe we just put a Z on the end. Oh.

Get in. Get in. Players, five. A game for five players. Player one, never done. Players by the dozen. Bloods start pouring out. about this. How about just the witch-light performers? Frosty? Are you even trying?

Are you fucking trying? I was thinking sort of like a in the spotlight, in the witch-light kind of a parallel. I mean everyone, which has nothing these people, it's a drug that a bunch of rich weirders do. They fucking eat longworm and do fuck-win witch-lid. I'm doing my- I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. I've already done so much already today. That's true. You've done a lot. I'm sorry, Frosty. All I did was wake Obed up, and then he died. I did a lot more than that after he woke up, all right?

I don't want to fucking talk about him. I knew you messing his feet. You filthy pawns sick of? It wasn't just his feet. I knew it. I was doing his feet. Oh, gross. He needed a full shower.

He needed a full shower. And the entire time, the toilet wouldn't stop talking to me. I had to use my mind hand, Gideon. My mind hand to clean him up. There was a large scrub in there. A fool and sit down. Fucking nightmare Almost lost my breakfast

That's very good You guys make Torback laugh I'm very close I'm very close Oh you got it Mr. Crummy I think so Thank goodness we're all worthless Oh what about hey hey we're the monkeys

Oh that's it That's pretty cool Hey hey we're the monkeys You know I feel like we need some pizzazz You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm thinking of,

I heard a story of mythical island called Ruby Shell Isle, famous for its daring tales and adventures. And so, why don't we call ourselves the Ruby Island players? It sounds pretty exotic. Well, I'm in. I mean, the Ruby Island players. And we could say, well, some far off exotic land with strange tales. And costumes and beasties.

They'll all take care of those. Yeah, you know, go with a little bit of like a pirate flare, you know? Yeah, I'll bring all the strange creatures. The Ruby Island Players presents Garoos Rouge. Garoulaan Rouge. Garulong. I mess it up here. We'll figure out of it.

Obviously, I'll play the beautiful song. Lawn Rouge. Yeah, we'll have to find somebody to play the struggling playwright to, uh, and write a, it falls in love with the songbird. Oh, that sounds miserable depressing. I feel like those are improvisational details we can make up on stage. That's right, we don't have to decide that right now,

but now we have what we need. Let us proceed. And you make this time. Proceed! You move to the wall and you slowly tear down the stones until there's enough space for you to crawl through. You find that you're at the very back of the prop room, And as you make your way out of the cave,

you have to crawl through a pile of props. As all of you make your way in, you're able to move the stones back into place and put the props back up against the wall. And if no one knew that that tunnel was there, they would never see it. You find yourself in this room. Crates of props are stacked in this chamber

alongside wooden backdrops draped in cobwebs, an eight-foot diameter, circular wooden disc painted to look like a smiling moon leans against one wall. As you look around, you realize that you are completely alone in here. Though the sounds from the rest of this place erupt around you, you can hear people yelling and hammering and reciting lines, doing vocal exercises, up above you, I mean, you, looking at the walls, you can tell that the walls in this room at least are also rough-hewn stone, that it's part of the mountain itself.

And just by the very nature of this place, you imagine that you are somewhere beneath the stage as occasionally you hear the creaking boards ahead as someone moves above you, assumably on the stage performing. It seems like practices, rehearsals are underway for something. And you get only a few moments to look around before the door opens.

And this room is piled high with props. The door opens and it doesn't look like anyone walks in. Before eventually you see the top of what appears to be almost like a jester like hat begin to bounce down an aisle. The next act. It's your turn to go on. Hello, hello. Oh, I know they're supposed to be in here.

Hello. Oh, why did it? Not us. Oh. Stage right at your service and the name the, You are. And you see what appears to be a diminutive goblin. He's even smaller than Grico in what looks to,

what appears to be a tattered and dirty jesters outfit, holding up a clipboard and taking notes. Yes, and you are. Mm-hmm. Well, we, we, we had the old Ruby, all of players. Oh yes, yes, I have you on for... Oh, you're supposed to be on in... Fucking... You see, you see that he's... I mean... You don't even need to roll for this. You see that he's writing your name down as you say it.

Oh, yes, you are, you are auditioning for, um, uh, for, for, for the main spectacle for tomorrow night. Oh. And audition is fine. We don't have to come up with, uh, we, we, we were, well prepared for, uh, for, Yeah, we don't. Yes, oh. We do. Or more than you're on the hot seas. Is this what you're wearing for your, for your audition?

No, no, no, we need to quickly change. We heard there was a lot of costumes. Then you, you better put on your outfits and you need to be upstairs in, oh, three minutes. Right outside of this room, you'll find the elevator that will take you upstairs to the stage. And you, you better be up there in three minutes or, oh, woe is you. Tragedy comes a call, and... We'll make it very trangic. Thank you, stay trained, thank you.

Thank you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, yes, I'll turn around and I won't want you undress. Oh. Oh, no, I'll just leave. And stay sure it. Yeah, yeah, do that. You hear, you hear, you hear them call.

They're coming, they're coming, just, just stall. And then you hear like a loud, d-d-dun-dum, as something is slammed up against the underside of the floor of the stage. You can hear the people up on the stage. stage running around as they attempt to stall for more time. Do you any fake names, too? Oh, no.

We have three minutes. We don't have time for fake names? What the fuck is an elevator. Oh, we got us on costumes, costumes, costumes. I start going through the props and are there also clothes in here? Or is it just items for the purpose? Oh, no. There are costumes all around.

You see racks of clothing from past productions, props of varying kinds, whether they're handheld props or some, you see a large throne on a movable platform. It's got wheels on it that can be wheeled around the stage. You see backdrops and bits and pieces of structures. Basically anything your heart desires. All right, everyone. We don't have time to plan what we're gonna do on stage.

Just grab the saddest thing you can possibly find. Got it, got it. Got it. All right, what are the sad things you grab? I made the announcement. I don't have anything sad. I would like you each roll a D-100. I was a two.

Do we have to roll for that? Well, I mean, no. You think that this book has a sad trinket table? 87. I also got an 87. Are we gonna mad? What are the chances? What are the chances?

Oh, I got a 100! Wow. No one should be rolling a 100. I got a 100. Wow. I got a 91. We can't with the same phone. Oh, it fits you, fits you.

64. All right. What did you get, Derek? 49. You find a piece of parchment, which appears to be a child's drawing of the death of their family. What? You said you wanted the saddest thing you could

What did you get, Michael? A 100. Oh, yes, lovely. You find a music box that when you wind it up, it plays into the West. Thank you. That's really the saddestinator I can fucking imagine. You find a tiny book of fairy tales, all with tragic endings. What did you get Gideon?

64. Let's see. You find a piano key carved from a satyr's horn, but as you hold it, you can hear the weeping of the of the Sater's horn and the screaming as the horn was carved from its body. Cremie. Eighty-seven. Now roll again.

79. 79. You find a wooden magnifying glass and it's missing its lens. It's quite sad. I guess. Has everyone gotten what they needed? Okay. So, just, are no one closed then?

No, I've got a very very, very comical outfit that we'll talk about later. Yeah, Torbeck's got an idea too. I have a very sad outfit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Torbick will go first, and that's what you want. We can provide backdrops, we can provide atmosphere. As long as it's sad and convincing,

then we don't all have to perform. Torbeck read through this book of tales that were all very sad, very quickly. And one of them was called The Little Match Girl. It's about a poor frozen girl who dies the street after seeing visions of worth and comfort through her matches. Dirk is gonna dress as a dead frozen orphan. That is pretty sad.

Yeah, yeah. Very sad. Yeah. I'm wearing a, um, like a tweed, uh, suit with an overcoat and a large, like, um, hat and a comically oversized pipe with a magnifying glass that's missing its class. And I'll say, what do you think? I'm a very successful lone detective. A pre-detective.

Oh, that looks very nice. How's that sad? Well, I also have a crippling opium protection. What is it with you and the opium? It's nothing more tragic than the opium epidemic. That's really good. That's really sad. I'll turn around and I'm still in my robe.

Well, I could perhaps pretend to be an orphan. I have this drawing of my family's death. and perhaps I'm a very powerful wizard, the chosen one. And he comes from a tragic, tragic backstory. And that's all I have. No, he already picked off. Yeah, come on, Frost. She's a tormentor-and-or-a-picked him.

Yeah, go fucking chain. God, I can't put it. I'm rolling another D-100. Okay. Well, I got these crazy Seder pants. You're just kind of like fur, but end up in, you know, who's at the bottom. And then I just took my shirt off. You pick up what is very clearly the skull of a sprite, and it's covered in fingerprints.

I put it back and roll again. 70. Roll again. I, while you're rolling, I will step forward. 77? I have a brown beard. I have a shoulder-length brown wig. A collection of baby teeth in a tiny wooden box.

Oh, my God. I don't know if I can tell a story, but I can provide. for percussion. Oh my god. I have a wig. I've got chain mail gloves, a green cloak, I've got chain mail gloves,

a green cloak, and there's arrows sticking out of me chest. And I have a war horn that split in two. Why do you look so cool? And I'm just say, oh, oh me brother, oh me king, this is the saddipater. Oh, that is sad. I had a moment of weakness. I only wanted to save me, Eileen King.

them and please me father who's going to cook a bananas I eat in a bunch of tomatoes grossly Wow! John Bean, no! Oh, they call me mean scene. Those don't rhyme. I mean scene. What can you see? I'm nice a lot.

Well I hope we get him in flashbacks from filming the songs from A lot of hours. Tens of thousands. Huh? I think that's great. I think that's great. That's great. That's good enough.

You got it. Only 20 seconds have gone by. We've got plenty of time. But, Gidt, what are you wearing? I'm wearing these crazy sater pants, man. And I got a head of big sater horns, but one of them is cut off. How was that tragedy? Well, because they did it while.

Well, thank you, Tor. You're all gone. But that's really the tragedy of it all is when people get hurt, man. And they come my horn straight off. No. You could cut off your other horn. What are you telling me?

I looked up Xavier's backstory from World Warcraft for nothing? Yeah. Who did? I got some police out. You could cut off your other horn and you could be some sort of nine hells boy. I'm digging through stuff. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, but here's my pitch, all right?

And I take a red scarf and I put it around you. And I take a James McAvoy mask and I put it over your head. And now you're still a Seder, but you're from a story where you're from a land ruled by literal God. And the ending of the whole film is that all the main characters die in a terrible train accident. Oh, wow, that is depressing? Oh, but with the train, is that too soon or is it on theme? Oh, it's a little hard. It's a little close to hold.

Do I hear they keep my shirt off? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as long as get the scarf on. The scarf stays on. Fine, I'll be James McAvoy. I mean, you can do the non-Hells boy, too. No, the Nile's Boy is too cool.

You can be nine hells McA-Boy. I can't be nine-Hell's Maca-Boy. You can be Siamese if you want. You can be Savius. I got to tell you, Grico, I read four paragraphs, and I don't understand his story. So I couldn't tell him to the succinct way. I got to live with you.

I'd even, I'd even, I'd even, I was pitching. I was pitching the name Malhapian. I thought you'd be really... That was really funny. And I was going to say, he corrupts the dream and he kidnapsed Malhappian,

but I was really misunderstood the whole time. And I was really just trying to, I don't know, take control of the, you know, Ruby Dream with the Ruby I'm a player. But I just couldn't quite get there, but I didn't know that it's story fucking started before Classic. I didn't know that we surround.

I didn't know. I was so long. He had 21 years. I didn't know he was like the son before he was a sater. Cause, I'm worried that Gideon's a bit of an edge lord. Well, if we want to be, we could entertain Frosty. I'm sure they have a wrong permal mask in here. No, just a moment, just a moment.

I'm gonna tell a story about this box of teeth. Oh, I know. Are you saying I can get a wrong promo mask in a gun? I've got the box of teeth. I can't keep rolling. I've got to commit. I'm not saying for you. I'm saying for him.

If he wanted to swap out James McAvoy for Ron Proman, they might have a Ron Proman man. They might have a Ron Broman. Oh, no, no, no. You don't want the Ron. Look, you James McAvoy. Ron Bromond is a cool guy. I'm going to say James McAvoy.

It's harsh for me. That's harsh. Go ahead. I'm just going to tell the story of the fictional account of a man named Phil who faced a lifelong cycle of dental decay due to poor advice and the lack of consistent. in education, leading to numerous fillings, a crown, root canal, ultimately a lost tooth requiring an implant.

It's really a story about how his dentist didn't take the time to educate him on proper oral health habits, setting him on a path of destruction. That the plot of Tim Burton's Charlie on the Chocolate Factory? No, no, it's, I googled sad story about teeth, and the AI overview came up with that. Which is a fucking nightmare jingle. Why is the name Phil? I don't know, but it's right here. This isn't a reference to anything.

It just decided. I feel like you'd look pretty good in a bulk cut. What do you think? If you want to go to the Morgan or a room. You could load them on the top hat, man. Oh, yeah, that's right. And then Grico can play your creepy dentist's father and say tens of thousands.

They're called cavities. They call me mean scenes. You imagine that three minutes is almost up. Oh, it's been two minutes and 40 seconds. We have very little time left. It's sort of like one piece facing. I mean, at this point, do we pick different names? Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

It just shows us to every different angle, pulling it up. You all don't know your tragic attire and you make your decisions for who your characters are. You're not sure what the audition requires, but whatever it does, you are ready for it. As you make your way out of the room, you find yourselves in a much larger room. This is where, this is the place beneath the stage. You see people working at forges. It's mostly goblins here and there as they are working.

to create the props and the set pieces and everything that goes into all of the plays that are performed here. You see them all working away. And you do notice that there is a small platform in the middle of the room, a wooden platform connected to what appears to be length of courting that is made from braided cord hair that has a winch next to it that can be lifted up and will arise up. the stage exactly as stage fright had told you, essentially an elevator to the stage. You know that this is the platform you need to get on to arrive at the stage for this performance.

You see people running this way and that a couple people bump into you as they're preparing. You notice that there are a handful of troops that are performing or that are practicing today for their auditions. You overhear that people are nervous. The consequences for failing your audition are dire. They are intense. They are extreme. People are shaking. They're afraid. You notice that there is a human woman who is retching in the corner with fear. The rest of her troop are trying to calm her down. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay, Susan. We're definitely, we were the best in our small community. I mean, who was better at community theater than you were? You had the voice of an angel, Susan. We're going, we're going to nail this. Okay. You're going to be a star. And that's what

you hear as you step onto this platform as stagehand almost appears out of nowhere, steps on the platform with you and begins to animate the platform and you begin to rise. It takes moments before you find yourselves on the middle of the stage as stage jumps to the front of the stage and amplifies his voice and he calls out, um, thank you to the McCona. The McConae, um, the McCona makers for your incredible rendition of, oh, oh, oh, I'm so, so, so sorry, so sorry. Oh, gosh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, um, oh, oh, um, um, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it was, it was something, it was something, and then you hear, and please proceed stage fright from giving me a headache. And you look up to the balcony and you see sitting on an incredibly large her dress billowing out around her, the animatronics in it slowly rotating around as they perform the little play that is built into her dress.

Her fingernails are tapping along the banister. They're almost long and spider-like. Her entire body is thin, frail, elongated. She is shrouded in darkness as the lights spin around and they angle directly toward you. And yes, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. Thank you, Macaunee Makers for performing lament of the suckling boar.

And then you see as they bow, and then they quickly rush off of the stage, and she lightly claps. And who is next? Oh, yes, next, we have the Red Island Players. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Island players, the Ruby Island players performing the Litch King's Revel. And she claps lightly as you notice that there's a smattering of applause coming from the audience.

As you see what is very clearly a bunch of darklings and some goblins that are throughout the audience, all of them looking up at Endlin to see if she seems interested at all. She kind of leans forward a little bit as she looks between all of you. She does not seem to recognize you. But she is scrutinizing you as she eventually leans back and she shakes her hand. You may begin. The lights all begin to rotate. Music pours out from the orchestra beneath the stage.

and you watch as the backdrop behind you turns into a painted scene of a frosted wasteland. As you find yourselves now all standing on the stage in your respective outfits, this performance getting ready to perform as you hear stage fright. The Litch King's Rebel. A lich king cannot.

decide which of his three living sons should rule his kingdom. So he throws a party during which his sons are grafted into a single flesh gullum. Sit back and enjoy the tragedy. And he bows. And as he does, you watch as the light darkens on him as he steps to the side. And you are all now standing in front of this audience and in front of Endelin herself as they watch for you to begin your performance. You stand there for a moment and you see, you see, you see stage fright freak out a little bit. As he, as, do you say this? No. No, you do say this. Yes. And you watch as, you watch as stagehand holds up a sheet of paper. I'd like you to pull a piece of paper from the, from the cauldron. Gideon. Right? Yeah. Oh. I didn't know we had cauldron paper.

Yeah, you asked for line. He gave you line. Speak on the good news. My mood is letting. Whoa. Where did you come up with that, Gideon? Guys, I got a giant cauldron of just what we're supposed to say right here. Just pull out of it.

That was really cool, man. Well, take one, Torbay. Okay, fine. I'm going to go. Something stirs below. Oh, I guess I'll get it. I got you play the dad, what do you think? I mean, yeah, yeah.

There's a bit of, there's a bit of mumbling across the audience. People don't really seem to understand what's happening, but they're engaged for the most part. It seems like as you say these lines, they seem to be happier as you find ways to work them into your performance. My sons, the day you were born, the very forests of Loderon whispered your names.

Tumnus, Borumir. What's your name? Dead frozen orphan girl. Willie? It's always happens. I watched with pride as you grew into a weapon of righteousness. Remember, our line has always ruled with wisdom and strength, and I know you will show restraint when exercising your great power.

But the truest victory, my sons, is stir in the hearts of your people. I tell you this, but when my days have come to an end, you shall all be kings. There's no way all that's on that paper. That was all, I swear to God, it's all right here. Holy shit, it's Cindragosa. Did you actually use what was on the paper? No. I was like, there's a possibility you put it in there somewhere, but there's no one.

No. Father, I, your eldest son, Willie, will do you great honor I am here to fight a great crusade a crusade against tooth decay you speak of wisdom and I speak of wisdom teeth

you speak of being a king and I think of the crowns that go on also teeth I am here to fight against the sweets of the world to said that in Voluna

they eat such things Step forward. I hear this rousing speech of my father, and I step back, and all the stage goes dark, and a spotlight goes on me, and I turn to the audience, and I address them, and break the fourth wall. My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right, and I would see the glory of Gobontopia restored. Have you ever seen it?

Audience, the white tower of Goblethean, glimmering like a spike of pearl in silver, in banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets? One day, our pass will lead us there, and the tower guard shall take up the call. The lords of Gobletopia have returned. That was really good.

There's a smattering of applause. They seem to be, especially once you're They are crying. They seem to really enjoy the tears. It's okay. Bear there, my son. Do you have any idea what's going on? No, none at all, none at all.

My disgusting and creepy necromanic advisor, Brad Durriff. Did you get an up for here? No one man. He must decide which of my sons will be the one true king. I know I mentioned all three of them would be kings, But I don't think that's how the loss of Goblintopia work.

So, are you thinking what I'm thinking? All right, well, combine them into horrific abomination, all of them smashed together. Probably with a tooth theme because of that fucking freak over there. Probably we're beginning to, like, dance around the stage, like doing these crazy hand motion. And the bow cut, in the bow cut. And the bow cut.

The music changes, the orchestra changes, and the music switches to a minor chord, and all of a sudden you can hear some chanting as the theater choir begins to chant behind you, and you feel this thrum of magic. There is no magic happening, but the music is making it feel as if you're casting whatever spell you're attempting to cast.

And all of the stagehands are helping to provide, the imagery that you are, that you're acting out. As I try to dance around the three of them, to try to show that I'm doing this ritual around, and as it comes to completion, I'll hobble over to, Cremie, and I'll get really close to soon, and I'll say, It is done, Torbex Lord.

Brad, Brad, your name's Brad. Brad. Brad's Lord. Well done, Brad. Thank you. Uh, brother Tumnus, I feel that our father's trusted beseech. Brad's Satan-hearted bonnet-pick

may not be trustworthy. No, no, no, no, God is very trustworthy. I don't know. I don't know how you think that we couldn't trust. A guy named Satan Heart at Boat. It's a family name. It's a family name. No, he said I couldn't possibly believe

that we would be turned upon by Brad. Satan Harden Bowen to Big. Third of his name. So honorable, it's been passed down many a time. I know he's been a dear family friend. There's something, is something just... You are so wise, Brad. There's something I don't trust about Brad.

Satan Heart. and bonedipick. And it's just totally irrelevant that there's also a monster named Satan hearted bone to pick man. Please keep track of how many of the lines you actually use, it will be important. Oh.

Oh. You probably use some of these. Night for joy. The three of you are now a horrible abomination. What? Had it just happened? Was this the word of Prince? No.

No. No. Brad is... Brad is just a box is all of you. What manner of yours is this I see before me. I can't believe it. We couldn't trust.

No, Brad is surprised. Brad is so surprised. Tomorrow should dawn marry her, I think. Yes, we are now one. We should not speak of whatever his fucking name is. Jesus. We turn about Brad.

We say not. We should not speak of Brad. We should not speak of Brad. We should not speak of. An unnecessary footnote you are. Well, Brad has another line. My lord, night comes and we must away. Oh no, you sense danger bread.

You know my three sons turn against me? Yes, yes. I think you'll hide in the chimney. Do not be kicked by any view. Lease of all, not my bold cut ever. We are joined now. Why would you speak to this way? Together, we work in as one, we can become a king. the lick king

A lick king Yes I'm keeping the teeth thing Okay Tell me what I must do my brothers Must we lay siege to the kingdom What once was our home The powers of a lick Can this power be achieved?

It can but only If we destroy that which lives in the chimney Do you understand my meaning? Is it Ginguadis? No I'm suggesting that we commit It's patricide. I'm losing the mouth thing now. Oh, I know you're showing. Oh, definitely, yeah, folks.

You just mean kill five. Yeah, folks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone nod my head. My bowl cut. My brother, to speak such treasons would get you sent out on a suicide mission against a cool, cool, fucking rave on a cool, cool, fucking dragon thing.

Oh, I don't like that. To retake Gob's Gilliath, of course. But. Yes. Seeing how we're all fused together like this. Yeah. Your, your grotesque love for chocolate and torturing German boy.

Then I once found it. Willie? Tummus, what say you to such a, to such a proposal? I can't, I need to shut up, right? Will you join us? I'm your Jonas. What say I had this said to the bone mom and I can't tell if it's the fusion,

but boy, to those German boys. those German boys. Together we will defeat Father. We will consume sweets and we will torture children. I just still can't believe Father would have okayed a guy named Satan, heart and bone to pick up.

To do this to us, I mean, not even a beholder would have seen that one coming. My Lord, Bradie is them coming. They're coming. They are the herald of woe. They are not welcome.

Brad, prayer. When you committed that horrific necromanic ritual, did you somehow turn my sons into monsters? You, Brad, say, no, phone. No, no, that was just a normal dance. What malice are you planning? It's just a normal dance, my lord. Well, it seems we're in a bit of a big.

Willie, my brother. Yes. Do you truly suggest the greatest of all taboo, kin slang unless we be all branded kinslayers and curse by the gods themselves. It is the only way that we will be able to become the lick king. Oh, by the gods, bar the door they're here. Careful, well, far greater than thou, her pair is for less. I feel I have inherited much from this meeting.

Such humor, I can barely hold my side. Brad, Slayton-Hardt, Bonderpick. Yes. What shall we do? Can you reverse this foul magic? This portends an unpleasant day. Oh, my hope is tripled like a grape. Let us make wine of it, whatever the fuck that means.

Are you feeling okay, my lord? Tumness. My lover, you are unusually quiet. I said a whole bunch of stuff. I'm sitting a whole book He's trying I'm trying I'm trying, man

Okay Normally when we are Gather together like brothers It says you are Suggesting crimes against both God And man and goblin As much as Willie is How now, friend?

Why the long face? Two truths told Elder's brother Surely a lie to follow A tailor could not So a finer lie Well All

What I'm saying is that I know that we all have trusted Brad, St. Hart, and Bone DeVicke. Yes. Since we were just lads. Then he fused us into one person. He has fused us into a bone gall on that. A surberest bone golems, of course. A Cerberus bone golems.

This does look very cool. I mean, it's the coolest of the bone golems. I may know little and less about the vina workings of dark magic, but I think this might be here. I think he might practice a little dog magic me, brothers. Do you guys think we can, like, breathe elemental weapons? Like, I can breathe fire for sure. I can feel it.

Can you guys shoot lightning or something? No, I just have a terrible breath because of the mouth thing. I know we should have killed that, Jinjavitis. No, we're going to use Genovitis to kill Dad and Brad. Dad and Brad. We're going to kill them 40 years from now? No, we can kill them. They're right over there.

But if we're using the weapons, Gingervibon. Why does they're not done? This is like a man who stare at the goats. You underestimate Chutzikai. That's all I got. You underestimate it. We dance too long, brother. Now the music is gone.

Hold on to thy seat. This trail has more bumps to come. Brad. We cannot stay in this chimney forever. I fear they're coming. The stage hands activate the sounds of lightning and thunder. When I took you in as a frozen orphan looking pallid like a corpse, I trusted you

and treated you like my very own son, but you've turned them against me. I warned you my patience has sun. No, no, no, I swear it was a normal to have since I'm just Brad. Oh, that is true. Your name's just Brad. Simply Brad's not in Boone. My boy. You are my fourth son. Father.

Oh, God, thank you. Father. I shall make a banquet of your dreams. You fetch my steed. God, I've smashed the stable ball. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. His guts is run beneath my bony roof. If only he was German.

Hold on. Hold on, my leash. Hold on my leash. Who goes there on this will be gone rain last night? Oh, cringe. Who goes there? Cring. As soon as he said.

This guy stinks. And tumnix and the other one. For me, yeah. Hush, my sweet dumpling. We're giving away our position. Brad, I will consume you first. I would tear the world in two for a quaff. Father, did you truly offerize such black magics?

How could we have possibly foreseen being betrayed by Brad Sane and Bonapen? I mean, did you see how fucking crazy my old man makeup was? I mean, it's elder abuse. I feel like it's huge responsibility. You let them take advantage of it. But I am your son. You just...

Silence. Spiglets, you have squealed enough. Bone sword! A bone sword! The goblins rush out on the stage, all dressed in black, as they like toss buckets of fake blood all over the place. You see stage hands in the rafters dumping buckets of fake snow down around you, and as the three amalgamation of brothers begins to bonestorm

and tear apart both Father and Brad. Brad. The audience is silent. The destruction on the stage, the tragedy at the end of this play is coming to its end. Hurts, doesn't it? Brad feels like a giant has stepped on his head. From this wound, I shall not recover. And we slain me. And we shall not rest till the deed is done.

Get it, I mean, tumnus. I would not wish you upon a toad. Father's dying words. My enemies are dead, yet I hunger still. Brothers, we have, truly we are the Lick King. But why do I feel so cold? Home is behind the world ahead. And there are many paths to tread

through shadow to the edge of night. Last cherry tomato. You have truly lit my lantern, my lantern wick, that's for sure. I am a flame. The snow continues to fall down around you the lights switch to red and then slowly begin to dim until the stage goes black silence in the auditor in the theater you wait for applause but you hear none it feels as if no one is

breathing until you eventually hear of the audience begins to erupt in applause and then you hear silence, stage fright, bring them to my chambers. And that is where we will end the session. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avengers podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Higher to unlock Shroud over Salt Marsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventures. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avengers community, join us on Dism Discord at Legends ofavangers.com slash discord.

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