Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 67 | Uneasy Ultimatum

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

The Krew meets with Bitter End...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/qKVowUf5Mww?si=Cdutxx7sGCT9grma

Welcome to Legends of Evantris. I'm Nikki, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. You are all standing upon the stage in Motherhorn. Having just performed a short play for not just the darklings that fill the audience here, but to your surprise, the lady of Motherhorn herself, Bitter End. Endelin rises from her. from her curtained balcony at the very top of the theater hall. And as she claps slowly, she hushes the audience

as she announces to stage fright that you are to be brought to her chambers. And just as quickly as she announces this, you see another goblin wearing a strange carved wooden mask over its face as it rushes into her box and begins to talk to. to her. She holds her hand up as if to keep the room in silence. And she listened to this conversation before she looks up and she calls out, Stage fright, bring them to my audience chambers

when they are summoned. For now, return them back from whence they came. And she ushers the goblin out of her box, and she takes a handful of her skirts as she swishes them and swirls out of her box, leaving the room in silence. No one says anything for a moment before stage hand takes the cane that he carries around

and he thumps it on the stage twice. The lights illuminate and everyone begins chattering and speaking. Stage fright rushes over to you. Um, okay, uh, well, she wants to have an audience with you. This is, this is, you should freshen up. You look awful.

That was spectacular. Oh, thank you. I didn't know you had such skills, such abilities. Well, that's us. Skilled and been killed with abilities. Yeah, we've been doing this a long time. Clearly, she's going to want a full production. So my, my mind is, okay, and he pulls out his little,

he pulls out his little clipboard and begins to write things down. Can I get your names again? Oh, names? Yes. You certainly can get those. Yes. Yes. Yeah, we'll get you list.

Yes, now, please think. We'll get you a list of names. Oh, uh, my throat's a dry account of all the act. But before we do that, well, my companions quickly think of something, I will do a quick rendition of I would have followed you. My brother. My captain. What are we going to say in terms of names?

He looks down. You notice that there are a handbooking. full of other goblins surrounding the stage. And they all seem to be stage hands of some sort. And a lot of them have similar masks. And you see that some of them look like they're smiling. Some look like they're frowning. And stage fright eventually calls one over and leans.

They're not providing their names. Tell her to look into the ori. I need the information now. And the goblin, the goblin rushes off and without another word. Okay, well, I'll escort you downstairs and you will in the prop room. And you can find something to wear you.

This is not going to work. I'll find something to wear. And then when she calls, you'll be ready. And is there anything else that you need? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Do I get a sense that they will just be able to know our names because of FAB is?

You roll an intelligence check. Oh, shit. Well, that's where I'm back. Everybody knows it. Everybody knows it, everybody knows it, everybody knows it, everybody knows it. I just gotta, none. I just gotta.

Um, you are thinking about Fay-Biz, and you don't know if there's anything that would give them the ability to just automatically know who you are via FABIS, but you have this inkling at the back of, It's the word ori. And you have this feeling in the back of your mind where you've heard that before.

You can't remember who mentioned it to you or what it does, but there's something about that that seems familiar. And that's really all you can piece together in this moment. Did you need food? Did you need something to drink? And you can tell stage fright is incredibly frightened. Always on edge.

I think all that sounds good. I mean, I love something to drink. I love a whole bunch of food, whatever you got. Let us make our way to the lift, and we will get you down to the prop room. And then I will get finger sandwiches and some hot tea and some, do you have any requests? Have your tea, you know, I'm going to take some booze. Alcohol, yes, we have much.

Yes! This works. Booze is bad. What's our options? Some green M&Ms. Okay. What about some opium? Y'all have any opium in?

We have Beaselberries? No, no, I'll pass on them. Carl Fish? No, no, no, no, none of them. Goblin candy? Is that what you call opium here? Oh, oh, do you have a lot? Is it made of goblins?

I just got a hankering for some popcorn shrimp. Do you have any popcorn shrimp? Do you have any, do you know what that is? We have battered and fried beetle wings. Nah, that's not like that at all. That's terrible. Well, actually, um, beetle wings battered. Does it come with any dipping sauces?

Sure, depends on the kind of sauce you want. What kind of sauce does he go? We've got ranch and buffalo. We've got strawberry jam. Do you have French dressing? Why, Chris is it so? We do have French dressing. Dermick wasn't here for this last time,

so he's very excited to see where this goes. Is there maybe a dressin you're looking for? You could just ask for. Go on. I think he's looking for the bloomin sauce. Ooh, bloomin sauce! Oh, I would love some blooming sauce. You always know what I'm anchoring for.

Well, I can see. I think the last I heard we were running really low on the bloomin sauce. Just check out back. You know, if I find some. No, they always have something out back. That's very funny. That's a very good. Uh, look.

Thanks, yeah. You know, I'll appreciate that. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Okay. So if you can get on the lift now, I'll get you.

Yeah, Rich, you've heard it. You've heard it tonight, right? Take a load off, but. If you can get to the lift, I'll get you down to the prop room, and then from there, I just need you to wait patiently to, like, get you all of all of your requests, your requests until you're summoned. We appreciate your time.

Get on the lift. We are going to move on to the lift. You don't have to be very nervous. We're real cool. I'm not nervous. You seem extremely nervous. Oh, not at all. Why are you sweating so much, then? I don't know. It's hot in here, I think. Oh, maybe it's a gland problem. That's what me mom always said, oh, Greg,

you have so many problems. It's probably on the count of your glands. Can I get a gland problem, kill you? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Oh, definitely. And she's like, if you don't carried out, that plant will kill you one day. Also, that much sweating is the symptom of drug use. I've never had, I've never had drugs before. Torbeck doesn't believe you.

You mentioned goblin candy and you knew what opium was right away. No, can you, can you get on the lift? Also, you're an actor. No, no, no, I'm a stage hand. Oh, yeah. I've got a horrible stage right on. Let's get on the one. I can't, I can't perform.

He just drinks wood alcohol. He just drinks wood alcohols. And he ushers you on the lift and you make your way downstairs. And as you do, you notice everything quiets a little bit. As people stop what they're doing to look at you quizzically, you hear mumbling between a few of the people and a few of the what appear to be maybe extras or performers from other troops and for other shows.

And you see all this. One of the things that you hear constantly muttered, Charmé is gonna hate this. Did you see how happy she was? She loved them. Oh no, oh, this is gonna be awful. I hope she doesn't find out until after tonight. And you hear a lot of mumblings about the anger

of someone known as Charmée as you are ushered eventually to the prop room and as stage fright pushes you in, he doesn't follow, but lets you know very quickly that he will be back just as soon as he can, to make yourselves comfortable and to find something amongst the costumes here that would be appropriate for an audience with the Endelin Moongriff. And as the door clicks shut, you find yourselves once again in this prop room, it's quiet

in here. The sounds of the hustle and bustle outside are tempered by the thickness of the walls and the large wooden door. And though you can hear that things have re-earned. animated out in the main room beneath the stage. There's relative peace and quiet in here. You know, the mention of Goblin Candy makes Dormick think about that guy with a worm in his head. Oh, yeah.

Gotta be dead by now, right? It worked definitely in his brain. Oh, he wasn't wrong. He said he would die soon. But you never know the perspective of how soon you're soon to a guy like that, you know? D'Otick thought he said like a week or a month, less than a month. I thought he said like a couple of days. Yeah, it's not good.

I feel like the life's expectations see if somebody with a brain-eating worm has got to be, I don't know, a wheat tops? And a fucking worm in his head. It depends on the size of the worm and its appetite. And the size of the brain. Do you think they just stole all that guy's candy when he croaked? Whoa. Oh, yeah. And also, the pace would probably be increased if it was a long run.

But then if it was a short worm, he probably has a little bit more time. If it's an average length worm, then... Somewhere in the middle? It is about middle. And then if it's dating profile average worm, it'll be a little bit more time. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We all non-in fun at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all meet the other one. How big do you guys think that worm is at it is like six inches? Give or take, right? Yeah. At least. Okay.

Well, he's probably dead, so we don't worry about Hannah. So we've got to figure out what we're going to say to bitter end, other than you suck. Oh, that's right. Are we just going to kill her? No, no. We haven't killed him either of the other hags? Why would he kill him right now? Why would he break that combo?

Haven't we always tried to kill the hags, though, and then something happens, and it's just the worst? Because we want to kill him. I'm pretty sure that she Haslock the most difficult to enact a little. all of the weird superstitions. What was the superstition again? I'm pretty sure we learned it. I'm sure we did. I'm just, turtace.

Tomik really wants to say it's shitterwheres. I'm going to call up my old pal Griffith because I think she was supposed to die in the knot of an eclipse. You're so dumb, Michael. Hey, Griffith. He used to play guitar and a band. I didn't have a desert reference on my big.

go card. Yeah. That's a really deep guy. Yeah, I used to play guitar in one of me bands. He was such a jackass. Anyway, it was eclips. We can't make no eclipse happen. Roll an intelligence check. Oh, maybe we can. I think that's just a 10. Not an 11 at 10. You are thinking about what you're saying, and you know that you've heard about what her fear was. And you, similar to Crummy, you're like, something about that. This sounds really familiar, and Eclipse was related to it, but was it creating one?

You're not quite sure. Yeah. Man, Torbik was really sure about the whole Shitter Wins thing. No, that was the first tag. Really? Yeah. That was the first tag. Yeah, but like, wouldn't that just turn them in, like, the opposite direction in which, yeah.

No, we were definitely making shit of wins. We were making jokes about shit of wins in like early 2023. So that definitely had to be. D'Ring just really likes the word. Yeah, I mean, it's a good one. Okay. We, before we can't, we need to steal that thing for the King of Harts. Remember why we're here?

That's right. But we don't even know what it is. It's always something different. Or we negotiate for it or, you know, we... So we have the... Farrant. Yeah, D'Rour still got the thread. And the needle.

That we definitely got from Pinkerson. Mm-hmm. Sounds familiar. We definitely got it. Seems that way. I got it. I got it in my pocket right here. Show us.

No. It's not more placed. Proof me. That's ridiculous. We haven't sold so many other things first before I could just go around and present and be picked. So we just got to keep an eye out for something. They're both silver, right?

I believe so. The silver thread is silver. I guess it might perhaps be a loom. It might be a loom. It might be maybe some shears. Oh, some shees. A fimbled. A fimbled.

A fimbled. It might be. Giving the encounters we've had. in this adventure, Alumin makes perfect sense. Is it just we think they're all related? Like, it's a triple triad of things? Well, given that they're related to past, present, and future, it's probably an autumn that is related

to the personification of fate. I'm going into my mind balance. But how do you know that? That makes sense. It's very formatic. It's not going to be like, oh man, I gosh, I hope these lads don't take my lightning McQueen Crocks. You think she's

You think she's not going to be a combo breaker It's all going to be for matter I mean that's how hagg's worth Do you think she has cry charms for her car Almost so No it was a hypothetical There's no there's no there's no Are you telling me you got in line to buy those things

Well I got in line but they were all sold out I didn't know I was standing behind Endling Moongrave Bitter End I didn't stand a chance. You're tacky and I hate you. I'm back. You just don't have the appreciation for comfort in wardrobe that I do, okay?

You're all you're such a snappy dresser. But every now and again, take off the loafers and slip into a pair of crocs. I refuse to believe that any level of comfort would be worth looking like that. I refuse. You wearing crocs would be quite funny and ironic. Why? on April 30th On April 30th, we met

Amdipur, a walking dandelion, and he told us that Motherhorn had had a premonition. I'm sorry, not Motherhorn, a bitter end. That the moon represented gleam, or perhaps the other way around, and Gloucester represented the sun, and that if they were to get together,

that the premonition of the eclipse was to be her end. Wow. Yeah. As soon as we thought that Aminibor was a freak, I forgot everything he ever said to us out of self-preservation. He's in a massive freak. Well, so what are you saying? We should have brought the, we should have brought the...

Oh, we should have broccoli? We got to get them together, and that's the eclipse. Look, she's like right down the tunnel. No, she went back to Obet's house. Oh, shit. But the Obet's house was right down there. That's like 10 feet wrong. We could get her, but we...

Holy shit. Holy shit. Oh, yeah, right over there. No, the loading streets already passed where he is. No, going back. Torbeck doesn't think that we can phase back through the prop closet wall to even find the tunnel. Oh yeah, you're probably right.

We can't do anything right. I'm very, like, depressed and my head's down, and I comically lean back against the wall. Come on. And maybe tumble through, whoa! What were you saying, Derek? I propose that you kill Krammy. But also, but also.

Do I remember where last news we had of glistice whereabouts? I think that she's here. She's here. She's here. From what you understand. And so I would say reading through your journal and the notes that you take, you are reminded of a little bit more information than that. You are reminded of what the ori is. It's been, you've been told about this.

It's called the ory of tragedies. and it is a contraption that she uses to look into the future. And she is able to tell futures. People will come from all over to make a deal with Endelen to learn what lies ahead for them. That is what she provides to people. That is her. As well as coming to see the shows that are performed here, of course.

It was recently that she was scrying upon the ory of tragedy. and she stumbled upon a vision of her own demise. And it came to her that she would meet her end beneath an eclipse. And so her fear of that now has caused her to shun all sorts of imagery of the sun and the moon, anything of that nature. And she, in doing so, separated the twins.

And you know that they are now trying to get back together. One of them is here, what they're doing here, you're not sure. I convey all this information to my party. You look very comfortable leaning up against that wall, Grammy. Oh, yeah. No, this is fine, I guess. Can you explain why you're leaning against the law?

I was hoping that, like, a cartoon I would immediately fall through the wall and back into the tunnel. So we had access to the tunnel. You have access to the tunnel. It's not a magical entrance. Oh, shit. You have a... I would have a trap.

There's a trap. Wait, it's the other wall, Krem. You're just coolly relaxing as this one. I would say you would have easily remembered that you, you moved rocks away, exposing and opening. You climbed in, and then you just put props in front of it to hide that the entrance was there. So that you had access to pick up, you know,

that Gleem was going to be leaving you goodies and stuff every morning so that you had food to eat and things of that nature. So access to the tunnel would be very, very, very quick and easy. That's Torbeck's bad guys. But I mean, if you would prefer to tumble into it, I'll allow it. Don't know. Don't talk to Torbeck before he's at his morning opium.

If we need to get back through the tunnel, we can simply go beyond behind this chair that looks like a hand. It's right next to the egg chair. It's right next to the egg chair from men and the papasan. And what? The Papasan chair? The pop-a. The Papa.

The Papa-San? The Papa-son. God, well, the mean of the word. Are you all right, Kremlin? I'm struggling a little bit. There's booze coming and tea. And perhaps okay. And it is, as you say this, that stage fright comes in,

their handful of goblins around him, all of them also wearing these masks, showing varying emotions, as they make their way in, and on a prop table, they set up a bunch of the food. Everything that you'd asked for is there, among other things. and they quickly excuse themselves

and allow you to dine. But before leaving again, stage fright does look around and order you to please get ready. Get ready for- Stage right has asked you like three times to change, because you're dressed up for your performance, but you're about to have an audience with end-law. Oh, I got all these arrows in there.

And so it was requested that you- Should we get into another costume or should we dress up like we came in here? Oh no, it's all of all. regular clothes. That's right, fellows. Go on. And I started handing everybody like the pirate costumes. Oh, yeah. Oh, right.

This is what we came in. Oh, exactly right. Mr. Crummy, these don't smell like turquoise clothes. A douseum and rum. Okay. That sounds awesome. You're right.

And you notice that they did wheel in an entire, an entire small bar. You've got varying types of alcohols and you could enjoy yourself quite handily here with the um with the things they've provided Tony pinwheels. I'm dressed like Steve Bonnet from our flag means death. That's which is like a gigantic hat. Yes. And everyone else is like a really gross dirty pirate pirate. I'm applying the like black makeup to one tooth so that it looks like that. I have a missing tooth and I'll have one of the finger sandwiches and some of the hot tape.

Perfect. There's an entire high tea flatter where you have all of these tiny cold sandwiches on one tier. You've got little hors d'oeuvres on another tier and then on the bottom tier you've got all of the delicious desserts as well as a large pot of tea, elder bit. Elder flour tea. And Charmais is coming? I'm the yes. Well, do you know who this Charmé is? We heard rumors. Oh, yes, Charmé is the diva of the theater. And she is up until recently. She has been Endeline's favorite.

For her tragedies are the tragediest. They are the most terrifiable. Has not gained an audience alone with Endeline. You have. She's going to be very upset. How long has you been trying? couple of years. Oh, brother,

she's love! Wow. Tell me about it. First try. Yeah, first drive. God, she considered that... Diva, more like Dement as well.

That's very funny. As she considered that perhaps she's being denied in audience in order to amplify her tragedy. Or because she's not good enough. No, but if you tell her that, I think that will make her happy,

at least it will be better than you being better than her. Oh, man. This teeth is quite good. Thank you. You're welcome. Don't drink too much of it. It's poisonous.

I sat down in the cup. Also, your finger sandwiches have fingers in them. Yes. I don't care for that. Oh, I can get you some fingerless sandwiches. Is that just going to be two pieces of bread? Yeah. I'll take it.

And he quickly leaves and comes back with fingerless sandwiches. Oh, God, Derek. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that that's not who Chamey is. What? You think that they're lying? I think I know about Shameh. I heard Chameh said we should probably warn the Saxons.

No, nobody's going to know what you're talking about right now. This bit is too intelligent. Yeah, no, that joke went. You mean Chamey's 99% of my audience is right? Yeah. Grown glory to the Holy Roman Empire. Deep gut, Spill the blood of the eye on the Saxon, man.

Yeah. Anyway. It's okay. Gideon. We'll explain it later. I want to laugh. I want to laugh. Believe me.

You should have gone to Goplin College, is all I'm saying. I trust. I trust that it's funny. You can still laugh. It's laugh. Just make it happen. No. I won't say it was fun.

It was referendum. I can't do it. You can't do it. You don't do it. You all here. Stop it. Shaw May kind of sounds like Charlamagne. You begin to hear the sound of wrestling.

That's okay. I got to say, I mean, just remember to this. Yes. Yes, Angela. It's okay. No, no, it's fine. Sorry, I was talking about Shalomie. No, yeah, I noticed.

I was hoping I was like, I was like, after, like, I was being educated on. After 10 minutes of Charlemagne, we might be able to move on, but I feel like you needed five more minutes. We could have. Yeah, no, it's, you know, proceed. No, you were having this conversation about whether Charmei is really the divo or whether it's Charlemagne. And it's really unclear at this point what the situation is as a little bit of silence descends and you hear what sounds like rustling.

Behind you, Frost. Is that rustling I hear? At first, it sounds like you, it sounds like there are potentially, You're the best. Thank you. You're the best. At first, you question whether it's rats. But it sounds like wooden blocks falling over and over and over and over and over again.

I turn away from my fingerless sandwich and I investigate the sound. You do. And you eventually notice what it, at first it looks like just a bundle of strings. and it's undulating and twisting and turning and you're hearing this clack, clack, clack over and over again. And you eventually reach out and maybe take something and pull it up to see what it is.

And what you find is a beautiful pristine marionette completely twisted in the strings. And it doesn't make sense where all this noise is coming from. noise is coming from before you realize that the marionette is moving. It is animated as she is trying to untangle herself from the courting. Uh, it's, uh, hello, hello there. Uh, are you alive? Hello? I am sorry to have bothered you. Uh, uh, I, I just heard your, your commotion and I see that you're a little tangled up. I was trying not to interrupt you. You're having a long conversation, but I'm twisted and turned in here and I can't get out. You were an eavesdropping. Oh, I didn't mean to.

You were an eavesdrop? What did you hear? What did you hear? I heard something about the Holy Roman Empire. Oh, see, someone knows his big attention. Well, I was going to say, someone is educated. Oh, thank you.

This reminds me that Tom Alexander, the great head on Tau the Gordian Nuh. That was actually really good, though. I'm very impressed. You made that guy up. Andy's actually really impressed. Well done, Mace. Griguel and I are going to set to work. I'm notting this.

I'm going to use all three of my hands. It takes a while and I will say. What do you just say? I'm going to use all three of my hands. Ah, your mind. Yeah, and I was like, what the? You're a sick bug. Yes, my penis is preensile.

Watch as I grope this marionette with it. That's really awful and I hate everything about it. Because the two of you are working together, it does take a significant amount of time, but you're able to, as you're doing this, you working together, you're able to see that this was not done accidentally. She didn't just fall over and get caught up.

It is very clear that someone as a punishment tied her up like this. And she's been probably trapped for a while. You notice dust accumulating on parts of her wooden dress. And you're able to help kind of clean her off and get her untangled. And just as soon as you do, you notice the contraption that manages her strings holds itself aloft.

And as she begins to move around and stretch out her limb, the two wooden planks move with her, as if it's being controlled by something. Gosh, and as she's moving, you can hear the creaks and groans of the little metal pins and the way that the wood kind of slides against itself. You see bits and piece of, maybe her elbow is a little bit swollen. And she's stretched...

Oh my gosh. I can breathe. How long have you been like that? I'm sorry, I didn't get your nose. but are you all right? Oh, it's Marie. Marie. Marie. Is this going to unlock another side quest?

I'm not sure what you mean. It feels very sidequist. Oh, no, you don't think. Did you say that your name is Marie Marionette? No, Marie-O-Nette. Oh, are you from O-Net? Oh, are you from O-Net? Oh, is there a place called O-Net?

I've heard of a little town called. I would love to business. Yes. It sounds similar. That one's for tour. Yes. I don't... I love that reference.

To answer your question, I don't think I'm opening a side quest, but I think I'm a very handy vessel to provide you information that you otherwise would not get on your own. Oh, thank you. Well, welcome. P.K. said you on fire.

I don't do that. I have to ask. Are you... I'll start with P.K. Flash, the sick master. Yes. They're in love. I don't want to tell you, something has happened between Mace and Andy, and they belong to each other.

I know. Long nights in the convention room, the two of them, they've bonded. Oh, man. We saw that carnival knowledge going. Marie, how did you get stuff there? Ms. Onet. Well.

Or Ms. Net. How familiar are you with Endman? Oh, we know that she's very bitter. That's true. We know she's got some nasty sisters. That's also true. I know she's a hag. That's also true.

Oh, we know that she loves being miserable. That's very true. And she loves the future? She can see the future. She can see the future. I don't know she loves it. She loves the theater and she punishes people, but the punishment is also secretly the key to their release.

She punishes people all the time, and that's why I'm here. Because she also creates things. Did she create you? I was her first try at creating a sentient puppet. But she hates me. Because she tried to instill deep in me malevolence. And I didn't have it.

I'm not vicious at all. And so she punishes me. And she's punished me every day for my entire existence. She tied you up because you wouldn't be cruel. Yes, and she thought the more she was awful to me and the more she was mean to me, the worse I would get. but I didn't. Because I feel sorrow for everyone she hurts. And because it backfired on her, she wrapped me up

and she threw me away from all of my friends and she stuck me in here. And no one comes to look for me because they don't come to the prop room. This is where all the old props go to die. They make new ones because new is better and flashy and good. And Marie, the oldest puppet in the place is old.

no longer wanted. Well, I'm glad you didn't die. I look around the room and I glance at the hand chair and think about the fact that it might be a dead old sentient being and then I turned back to Maria. I'm sorry that you've been trapped here. I'm glad that we were able to free you. I am too. But what are you doing in here?

So are you saying that you're not wicked in any way, shape, of form? No, not that I'm aware. So it's no problem that you've heard too much? No, I just, ingly with you, I would like to leave this place. I would like to try to make a life of my own away from here. The stage is not for me.

Do you, we could facilitate that very easy. Do you have a phobia of ponies or anything? No. Okay, then you're good. I've seen performances in which people were dressed up like ponies. One was the rear and the other one was the front. Yes, it's very comical. ... looked comfortable in any way, but I've never seen a real pony before.

Well, you will if you follow our instructions, but if you could tell us anything, anything at all, or perhaps everything that you know about Enderlund, then we would be able to, perhaps, perhaps, have an exchange. I could do that. I think the most important thing to know is that she sees the future. I think you... You know this now.

But she sees it in this contraption that she... she's made using schematics from the Brighenox and the hair she steals from the corids. Mm-hmm. And she whirls it up and she looks into it and she uses people's future as a way for leverage against them. People will come from all over the Faye Wilde to find out what their bitter end looks like. You know, if they... Because it can be changed. That's very interesting.

Do you know if she can do this for any being? Can she look into anyone's future? She can look into anyone or anything's future. Without the need for them to be present even, or a material component for them, like a lock of hair? They can just... Yes. That's not good.

Does she have to know their true name or anything? No. Oftentimes, the people who arrive here, she's already seen their coming before they even placed foot in Motherhorn. Does that mean? She knows our real names. She could find your real names if you were attempting to hide them. Oh, man.

If she knew to look at us, she would have much more information. It may be why we've been invited to go and speak with her. So the jig is up. It may very well be up. She does have a weakness, a few. Her biggest... Is it a funny word? We love that.

No, not really. No, it's just a word. Well, it's just a word. It's things. As you know, she's seen her own demise at the hand of an eclipse. And she's horrified of it. It controls her every day and her every night.

She does not want death. She hates her sisters. But not in the same way they hate him. Endelin, they hate her. Endelen is smart. And they bicker because they're angry. They're bitter, they want power, but Endelen truly wants their demise.

And she will do anything to destroy them. There is something in the Palace of Hearts desire that she wants. She'll do anything for it. So be careful. What is it? I have no idea. I've not been privy to that information. Palace of Hearts Desire.

She, she, as she. She is. She is true to her word. So if you make any kind of deal with her, you be careful, because she will be true to it and she will twist it. But what you, whatever you give up, she will receive. But whatever she agrees to give up in return, you will also receive as well. So just be wise in how you speak to her. We will be careful with our words. It is dangerous. Yes. Yeah, we'll, I mean, we're two for two right now, you know, so. I am.

We're good of making deals. I know the entirety of Motherhorn. Every nook and cranny of this place. I've been here, the only person who's been here longer is Enderlin herself. So anywhere you need to go, anything you need to see, I can tell you how to get there and how to get there safely. Are you comfortable? using a quill and parchment? Yes.

If you'd like me to draw a map... I love to draw. I would be happy to make a map for you. I happen to have a parchment and quill right here, so if you wouldn't mind drawing us a bit of a... It will take me about an hour so. I would want to put some flourishing touches on it. We only have a few minutes before we have to go speak with Endelen,

but if we return here, then we can release you and you can have your freedom. Okay. Yes. If you don't mind, retrieving it when you return, I would love to make a map for you. I'm sure that we will be back here. Thank you. Thank you. I think that that is a fair trade,

wouldn't you all agree? Yes, sure. It is very fair trade. And lastly, the other, her other fear is not having the knowledge of the future, the control. And if you've seen all around Yon, you know, there are These lightning beacons, some shape like a moon and some like a sun.

And they channeled the lightning from the clouds directly into Motherhorn. It is that energy that powers her ori. If the beacons were somehow disturbed, if they were broken, the ori would cease to function. And she would lose her power. But if she can't tell the future, then no one has need of her. Is she the only one who can use this device? As far as I'm aware, I'm not sure of anyone who's ever been able to get close enough to it to be able to attempt to. She guards it fiercely.

Where is it? I mean, is it in her like quarters or whatever? No, it's just deeper into Motherhorn. She keeps most of the people here sequestered away in the theater area at the stage and in the audience hall and down below. and of course next door in the cells, the holding cells. Man, bitter end sucks. She's not kind. Have you ever considered, like, feigning malice? I hate everybody, so that she wouldn't be so new to you?

Yes, I tried to once, and it did not go very well. I looked at her and I said, your dress has a stain on it, and I will clean it for you right now, and then I cleaned it off. Oh, no, gosh. I know for her, because the moment she realized, I do think that she was genuinely embarrassed. And I couldn't believe I'd embarrassed her, and so I cleaned it all for her,

and then she kicked me. Oh, wow. You can see it. She lifts up her dress a little bit, and you can see her painted lace stockings, and there's a large chip out of the wood on her angle. Right there is where she kicked me, and I slammed against the wall.

Gosh, that's terrible. Sometimes my ankle will give out. When we return, I will see if I might be able to repair that. What? I feel like we need to go on a training arc for you and have you get your groove back and get your mean back. You know what I mean? I'm not sure I want to be mean.

What did I mean to bad people? All right, well, could you show me? Yeah, okay, Gideon. Yeah, come on. Okay, Gidio. I knew it. Okay, you be a real mean customer, be a bully. Well, you're ugly.

I don't like you. Oh, I mean, it's... Oh, call my bitch. Hey. And you know what? You're a bitch. Okay, watch this. You're not ugly.

See, I know that. I mean, I myself, Gregor, you're the hands of this goblin. But, no, look, so what I'll say. Oh, well, okay. Please don't take my lunch money. I can't afford my... And give me your lunch money.

Give me your lunch money, you stupid dumb short snack. I can't afford my kid cuisine if you take that. No, you're getting kid cuisine this time, all right? No, you're paying. They're going to help you. She's not. She's like, she's weaking. She's so sad right now.

Look at that. If I'm waiting, he keeps going, he keeps going. Stop! Stop! Stop! Don't! Give me your lunch money, Grigo. No!

Get out to this. Hey, and then what's this? How about this? And now, so look what happens. Now, he keeps bulleting me, right? I'm like, oh, do you. Stop it. Please, please.

Stop it. Okay. He's going to keep going to keep going to see. Watch this. Yeah. Well, I want to hear you're stupid and ugly. And give me your lunch money. You need to eat.

And, son, I love this. Oh, hey, B. Jameson from the third grade. I got your lunch money. Fuck you. And I'm going to try to punch him in the nuts. Crudmy, did you hear some? I can't.

I think somebody that's trying to talk to me, but they're so short. I can't their words aren't getting all the way up here. Oh, yeah, who could that be? I mean, if he's attacked at advantage. I think you. He's distracted. Yeah.

Oh, God. Hold on. We're going to be twisted. Yeah, can I, can I assist it? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Just kidding. Eleven. I'm going to dread this.

Still a dread against Gideon. A 15? No. No. What's here? Not even close. What's this dumb shorts? You reach up.

You reach up and you... You reach up and you... You punch directly into what you imagine are his nuts hack. And you feel the warmth and the softness, but Gideon doesn't even flinch. Hey, a little to the left, shorts, back. I got an it you can scratch. Oh, well, I about this. I thought this James Kevinson from the fourth grade.

Fuck you! And I'm going to... Just doing it again. I'm going to do a little bit of another bit of a nut punch. Okay. Go ahead and roll again at a advantage. Just another one of a little bit of a nut punch. I'm trying to help you.

I'm trying to help you. Oh, Louvrethold. You're learning the wrong, she's learning the wrongness. She's learning the wrong lesson. Oh, how about trying again, Griggo? How about trying one more time, man? Yeah, you gotta start making the Gondon look back. Come on, man.

Hit him back, hit him back. Oh, yeah. Come on, Griggo. Look more. See if you can land it. All I can spread it wide for you. All right. Okay, okay.

So you're just gonna just do this thing a little bit of, and I'm the story with to Nuznuts. You know what? I'm a story, a story, a story with, a little bit up, phew. He's going to literally start with a little bit. to do Star Magic in your ball sack. Yeah, you're at advantage for this.

Because he's opening wide open. What's the fuck? Come on, man. That's what is meant to be. You just like giving it to you, we can't get it done. I've ever rolled higher than a seven. I see him trying to shoot Star Magic in my nutsack

and I freak out and I punch great. Roll, roll an attack. No! Oh, that's Rule 1. We broke it out. out and all out brawl. And the dresser. Oh, he's too short, he's too short.

What's out? That's about how it's done. The lesson is if you stand up to bullies by being mean to them back, then they stop. No, they will jump on you and they'll hurt you back. Yeah, the lesson is, don't be mean to anyone bigger than you, because they're stronger than you. You can't hit them or use force and got something.

She reaches over and she tugs on your pants. But sir, everyone's bigger. than me. Well, don't... Well, oh, shit. That's what I'm trying to say. She can't be mean to people, man. Bigger people.

Just beat up smaller people. What if she's just a nice puppy doll thing? Yeah. Why does she got to be mean? How about she just... Because she can't get pushed her out by it as a little time. Well, hang on, hang on. Do you have money?

No. Well, but you have things. I mean, you have quality, like, goods. You have information and stuff, right? Well, I've given you everything. Well, there you go. I mean, you kind of... You're short, you're small.

You're unassuming. You hide around in things. What you can. what you could do. You're good at eavesdropping. You're good at eavesdropping. Well, here's the thing. You become like a whisper queen.

You get all the information, and then you trade information to bigger people, and you get them to be mean for you. I mean, that's kind of my whole job. You just get big people to beat up the people you want to be mean to, but you don't have to be mean about it. That's right.

I don't have to be mean at all. It gets me for me. Exactly right. Mr. Kremi's still very mean, though. Kramer, it's nice as the summer day. He's only mean to Torbeck. It pays to be mean sometimes. All they're saying is ignore everything you just said.

That was a really bad after special. Giddy really should have a job is all I'm saying. He should have learned that he should have jumped. But the point is that if you don't stand up to the people who are badgered, then they're going to walk all over you and they're going to tie you up in the closet. Well, look, she's not trying to, you know, be Enderlin's favorite. She wants freedom. That's something we can give to him, right?

You can help us kill her. Yeah. You want her to go up there and let's a crazy hat. We haven't even fought crazy hags in one. You want her to go fight a crazy hag and say, hey, you're stupid bitch? No, I don't. How dare you put me in the cloud? I don't think they have to go ahead.

No, she's going to get vaporized instantly. Look, that's the lesson, Grego. We have our own marionette in Gid sack, I mean, pack. You do? Yeah, we can, you know. Can I seek? Yeah. Oh, yeah, she's right over here.

I mean, let's get one second. You know, y'all can be friends once she wakes back up from whatever. of, you know, catatonic state she's in. Yeah, here she is. She's broken. Well, I mean, you know, she's got the rose eyes and everything, but I think that's a feature, not a bug. No.

The sentient's in her is broken. Oh. Oh. She was talking, like, a couple weeks ago. Is she dead? A couple days ago. She's not dead. What I mean the sentences?

I could fix her. What? You could fix her? Really? Yes, I could fix her. That would be remarkable. We've missed our friend for some time. Well, hang on, hang on.

We agreed this kind of thing once before. What does fixing her look like? It would take me quite a lot of time, but I could fix her. That sounds like a sidewise now. What is fixing her mean? The last person that said they could fix Twazy turned her into a doll. You know what I mean? Well, she is, she's a puppet now.

If she was anything before, she's not that anymore. If you did this repair, Would she be able to think her mind again, think freely? Would she be able to act on her own? Would she have the sight and smell? She may still be a doll, but she would be herself in that body and alive? She would be just, she would be similar to me. I look like this, but I'm Marie.

It seems important to get you. Just to be clear, she used to be a person, and now she's not. We're very confused about the whole thing. I can't make her a person. again, but... Well, I don't think we necessarily need to be a person again, but I mean... She used to really enjoy killing things and doing drugs. So, I mean, can you get her back to that?

I could fix her. Well... Fix her and get her to safety to a little pony house. That doesn't mean anything to you. No, that's what I'm thinking. No, I will... It's not going to be quick. I can make you a map in an hour, but fixing her could take days.

We'll need to... Here's me. Here's my proposal. We will need you to stay here and create the map. In return, I will repair your leg, and we will give you freedom, and we will give you our friend Twig to take back to the pony house that we are sending you to. Inside that pony house, you'll have days to repair Twig, and then when we return after having our negotiations with Endelin and perhaps defeating her,

then we will find her and you together alive and happy. Oh, but also she's got to send Gleam to us. Oh. You know Gleam. Oh, yes. You know what we're friends? Yes, I do know Glean. Yes.

She plays a mean loop and chewy. We had a great nod, a great charlowe. She's very flexible. Oh, you'll like Lupin'Chue. Yeah, loop and chewy. They don't get confused with chilupas. They're not the same. Oh, all right.

I don't know why her flexibility is very relevant, but yeah, no, I mean, she was in an acrobat. Oh, her and his sister were fantastic on the silk, silk ropes. Contortion is both of them. They could twist themselves together into knots. Mm. Now that I think of it.

Got it, you shouldn't play Lupin' Chooie. Your marionette strings could get wound up, and it would be a disaster. And Lupin' Chooey? All you got to do is press the lever. Did you even play that night? It's got the spinning. No, they wouldn't have played. You're just in the chair the whole time?

No wonder anything. The Marionette playing loop and chewy is going to be a problem. It's not going to be a problem? You just press the thing. What's the string of it do? What's going to get caught up in, man? You're in the chew chair the whole time. I used my main chance to punch giddy in a minute.

I get a 23. That hits. That hits. You take three points of bludgeoning down. Ranger. I do it. I do it.

What does you do to him? Sorry. I punched him in the dick with my mind. You fucking freak. That was no punch. They know how to get down and neck bats. That's all I'm saying.

You know, why does he sound like he's enjoying him? Oh, man. He does seem like he's enjoying it. Oh, my. What I'm going to say, in my defense, when I tried to teach my daughter how to stand up to her bullies, just saying, punch the bully in the nuts, and saying, it's my purse, I don't know you. She was really infrauded at work.

This is not working. I don't think this is a lesson we need to necessarily take. I don't want to be mean. You do have to know how to defend yourself. That's what I'm saying. Oh, do you know how to use a knife? Here's a knife. No.

I'm streaked. Yes, she's going to cut a string. Why don't you just hang out in Gideon's pack and fix our friend in there? And then, you know, when we get back to the house, if that's where we're going, we can drop you all off. That's fine, too. I don't want to get closer to Enderlind.

If she finds me, if she sees that you've unbangled me and brought me with you, should punish me, not you. Oh, yeah, we don't want that. What if... All right, go on. What if she does to me what's happened to her? That would suck.

What did that to her? Who did that to her? Who did that to who? Oh. The twig. When did that happen? That's a good question. So to be fair, it was bitter and bitter sister.

Which one? No one. Oh, it was a toad hag. And unfortunately, Twig got into a little bit of trouble. She went into a nasty hole. And that was the end of her adventure. But we made a deal with the sister to bring her back. And I suppose we got a little monkey pulled.

Yeah, yeah, we did. Because we were specific on the nature of her coming back. So she was back. But she was a marionette with blue rose on. I don't know what that's about. We found a bunch of blue roses other places. Well, she did lose a blue rose. eyes, didn't she?

Oh, she did. Didn't we know that she did that thing with the thorns too? And we got, we got some kind of something. Oh, no, we got out of that trap. It was either kind of crazy thing. It was the only. That's right. No, but who just showed up?

But not the ony. Somebody showed up and put us in that crazy trap. And then she did. Scabapha. Scabap. It's so strange. Blue roses. Endlin's mother loved blue roses.

Wow, what a coincidence. This mother? That old hagged as mother? Yes, they all do. We knew that, didn't we? A face only a mother can love. No, they kept talking about mommy, didn't they? That's right, they didn't.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, isn't that why they didn't like the other sister? Yeah, because she was the favorite. Don't bring her up in front of Enderlin. Oh, you know a lot, don't you? Yes, I've been with Enderlin for a long time. And she keeps, well, in her room with Yori, she has these black books.

They're all the exact. same size and she keeps all of her premonitions in there, but she also keeps very thorough journals about her feelings and the things that have happened to her in the past. And I guess I have done one mean thing. I did snoop a bit. I got bored, really.

Oh, man. She locked me in that room for a long time. And the only thing to do was to read her journals. And so I read a lot about a childhood and her mother and her sisters. And that's how I know that she wants them all dead. and when I say all, I mean all. Wait, no, it was definitely not Scabbatha that stole it.

It was a sister that we had already met, because we just left Scabatha, and it was back Florida. They were back in Florida. Yeah. They all look the same to me. They're like nasty. I'm totally different. They're all these little fucking, frog-facedy hags.

All bunch of little freaks. Yeah. Yes. Well. How much little freaks? I don't want to go in there, but I will take your friend and go to the first. pony and fix her.

Okay. All right, well, just right over there. And then can I leave for good? Yeah, and then you'll have to come back. You'll be free forever. And you can practice learning how to defend yourself, perhaps using your strings. If you are familiar with what a garote is,

you'd be able to strangle something like that. No, what? No, I don't do it. Yeah, and actually, if you pull hard enough, cut straight into the throat. No, thank you. No. No.

No. That's really dark. No. What? I'm just trying to help her. I'm just trying to help. If I find somewhere kind and somewhere safe and there's no reason

for me to learn. I mean, your old document, people, the red smile, man. Well, that's, I mean, that's different. I feel like, you know, using the old throat slits than being different than pulling out of the road. I haven't seen any different. That's like reading mail. Josh just saw it's crossing the line.

There's literally no difference. I'm trying to help someone. There's no honor in it, Ross. There's no honor. Holy, holy hell. No honor. But anyway, the pony is very friendly, but the pony is grieving on account of,

there might be a little bit of dead old man smelled there. And the pony is grieving, but Gleam will be able to make a nice, yummy breakfast for you when you arrive. All right. Well, I do know Gleam, so I will look for her. Yeah, Gleam can, like, teach you like kick clips and stuff. How do I get to the pony?

Oh. It's right behind this. In the whole time. You can actually see it. There's no twist or turns in here. You can't even see the pony right over there. Wow, look at it. Oh, it's taking, oh, it's doing, oh, well, it's pooping.

Oh, oh, and when you see the, when you see the pony, the pony loves this, say horse to make your acquaintance. Well, I can't get you back. Also, there's a small house on the pony's back. You can get inside, you will shrink when you attempt to climb the ladder. That's the trick.

All right, well, I'm already very small. Oh, you'll be smaller. Mind. I will make your map. Imagine if you're going to see Bitter End by the time you get back. So do you see that tiger statue over there where it's roaring?

Now I do. Yes, I'm going to roll up the map and I'm going to put it in its mouth. And that's where you'll find it. Was the tiger once alive? No. It's a golden statue. Oh, golden stature.

Oh, if you were the first thing she made, is there like an army of things that are like you, but do now have malevolence? Yes. Oh, God. Wow, look as the thing. Right on the . I was thinking about that the whole time.

Why didn't you say that? No, it's been purgolating, man. This man's been moving around. I was like, you didn't have to date for a second. I just said yes. See, they know what Gerootman is. How many? Yeah, how many others?

Like, like legions, countless. Yes, it's a... How old are you? Hiramie, hundreds of years old. Oh, yeah. We're going to get on this for hundreds of years. And when did you figure it out, like what number? Like number two?

Oh! So only you are you. There's not even like a force of good we can generate an army with and it's like clasms against each other. 20 in a day around me. 100 years. Quick, quick,

Frost, quick, you should know this immediately. She doesn't make 20. She could if she wanted to, but she doesn't need to. She only makes them when she's feeling incredibly malevolent about something and she infuses those feelings into it when she creates it.

Well, how often is that? Phil, the low number in my mind right now is 1.1 million. Who is closer to two? I don't think it's closer to two now. No, I don't think she has that. That feels far too many, but she does make a lot of them, because any time her sister sent her letters, and she reads it, and she immediately becomes furious,

and she'll go in her workshop, and she'll make a new marriage. Did she make them all like you puppets of the same material? A wooden, yes. Are you resistant to fire? No. You're not going to light me all fire around. Oh, it's about damn time. There's a gathering of wood that isn't fucking water in the hog.

There's no water anywhere near this place, rat. Oh, hell yeah. Just lightning and things that burn easily. Oh, boy. Look at the big brains on Frosted. Well, I promise you that it shouldn't not be a problem unless you start a full blown war with her, but it's not like you have an army of fake creatures

coming to your rescue or anything in which you would need to fight back with a legion of marionettes. No, it sounds extremely epic, though. No, that sounds really epic. If we knew a group of people, who are willing to attack and any time. Oh, we did have an army,

but they were orphans, and we sent them off into the woods with the pig. No, no, not the children. What about the two groups that were warring? They would make perfect allies. If they fought together, then we could have a real... Have you ever seen the third act of lying the witch in the wardrobe? It's perfect.

Oh, yeah. The cords and the brigadops. Yes, the corids and the brigadops. Joining together, that's crazy first. We'd have to find some way to go to the queen and like smooth things out, because she doesn't know yet, what we know about the brigadocks. Should we arrange an historic peace tree signing,

perhaps arrange a political marriage? We need to get the guy to replace Obed first, though. He died right in front of him. There's no one to arrange. Can Dorman get something off to her chest? Are you're friends with Brighenox? Yeah. From a certain point of view.

I have a Brigginoch friend here. A little old man. He was stolen from the Brickinocks. He's just in the other room. Well, look for that guy. He's just in the other room. Oh, wait. This room.

Not this room. In the other room. They have trapped him inside of a lantern and they force him to make schematic stay in and day out. Oh, geez. Okay. And it's, it's. What's he making, anything cool? Oh, all kinds of cool things.

The or other tragedies would not exist without him. But also, on top of that, you have to be very careful because his soul's been ripped from his body. Okay, we need to level set a couple of things. What the hell's going to horror? We got to get it for you back, because D'Orbeck has to get something off his chest, okay? If we're gonna go talk to the guy and find out

that he's just like an empty husk with no soul, we'll deal with that problem when we get there. But ultimately, once his soul is back in his husk vessel, he's going to want to know what happened to his friend Obed. I already know how he's a little bit. Okay, but Torbeck is just, he can't stop thinking about how Obed was probably hundreds of years old and picked the day we showed up to die. It looks bad. It looks very bad. I mean, Gringo, look, he died on Grinco.

Grigo's chin. His chin made me haunted. He died shot. It was one of those things. I was really kind of grim. I was like, really. And Grigo's mom drove me at Kershins. It would have been all words.

Oh, Rico, one of these days you'll get cursions. So we're going to have to tell this guy that his best friend is dead when eventually. Well, we'll cross that bridge. No, I shared a moment for good or real with Obed as he passed. I feel like it's my duty to let his dearest friend know. Can Dorek ask you a question? Yes, Stobeck. What was it like?

to watch the light leave his eyes. You know, I know in reality it was quick, but it felt like at least an hour. It was a long moment, and it was strangely tender. Yeah, I'll never forget it. I see it when I close my eyes. Yeah, I don't believe that.

Wasn't that like a date ago? Yeah. Yeah. If that. Oh, it was today. It was, it was like moments ago. It's very fresh. It has been very fresh.

It's very fresh. We just got it. If that happened, we did the performance. We walked in this room. That's right. Did you just say, and historic? Yeah, he did. You fucking buffoon.

And historic. This won't be the first piece treaty we brokered. That's what I'm saying. I'm a Polly saw major. I can handle it. You're a secret weapon. I can handle it. All right, we got to do that before or after the performance.

Well, yeah, what are you saying? We got to go back. Well, first we've got to get his soul back in his soul as Husk v. Yeah, well, that's so crazy. Thank goodness I know how an all-pay engineering works. I'm going to walk in there and just reverse condo with his soul straight in so we don't have to deal with that too much. The power that you build is right now.

I'm already thinking about how I'm going to take that Oriop part like that. You know, I'm going to solve this place like, you know? Torbeck has never been more scared of him. I should have wished for better stuff. Yeah, me too, man. You should have been to stop. Like, like, 66% of his wishes on Gideon. And me too.

All right, well, so we have a plan at the very least. I will make the map and I will put it inside of the open mouse as the tiger. Yes. You will put your friend here on the ground next to me. Once I'm done with the map and I place it in the tiger, I will put her on top of the tiger. of my, of, your marionette handle.

Yes, thank you, there's a word for it, but I can't remember what it is. It's in my notes and I can't find it. And so I'll put your friend on top of that, and then I will go into the tunnel and I'll find the pooping sad pony, and I will climb into the house and I'll say hello to gleam,

and then I'll work on bringing your friend back. In the meantime, you're going to go in and you're going to talk to Endlin. Oh, that's another thing I should tell you. If it's still pooping in an hour, there's an emergency. No, that would be proper. Absolutely call a doctor.

A horse stalks. No, you go to have. You don't contact us. Dr. Doodoo Little. I'm not stuck in a lot of a sudden they're just done. I wish you'd send that louder. Yeah. I'm gonna roll back.

Anyway, if poops are longer than an hour, you should call Dr. Doodoo Little. Hey, hey, there's. Nice one, Giddy. Well, Giddy, that's actually, that's very well done. I'm feeling good. But in all seriousness, it would be a problem, and we can't lose that horse.

Yes, it would be right. It would be bad. But it's actually not really a real horse, as a fake horse. So, it's something like a fake creature, like fake monsters. We want that pony to come with us. It's a traveling home.

It's very, it's very comfy. All right. Well, I will monitor the pony to make sure that it did poops of reasonable mount. And then it will work on returning your friend back to their body. And I think, I needed to mention to you is you're set to have an audience with Endelin. Just to be aware.

She will not let anything progress unless you agree to a full performance for her. We've been told that, yes. We have a performance in mind. You do. Yep. Yeah, we do. Okay, well. Well, you must ensure that it is tragic and that she hates it so much she loves it. because if she does not enjoy your performance door, we will never see you again. Oh. What will happen?

What happens? It will be the first and only time that a real TPK happens on Legends of Adventress. Really? That's an egg of a threat. She's going to take something for a month. Wait, wait, but does she already know whether or not she's going to enjoy it?

Oh, because she can see the future. No, because as I mentioned, all of the future she sees can be changed. If you don't know what's to come, and that's why so many come to see her, if you don't know what's to come, you have no way to know that it needs to be changed. You'll continue on your trajectory, and that future will come to pass. But if you do know that there's something to change, you could change your future. And so, because of that, she doesn't attempt to change the future of the tales that people play, and she allows them to play out exactly as they're meant to,

and you know now that you need to make sure she enjoys it, so you will make sure that your future is that she'll enjoy it. See, it all makes sense. What if in the moment, like, Torbett kind of goes crazy and, like, takes his pants off and does something like, like, what? What? Like, was that meant to happen or not? Would it be incredibly embarrassing to you?

Shame isn't something that Torbeck really understands. That's true. Well, I'm not sure how to answer your question, but I do believe bitter end quote. Okay, well, let's mark that down, Frosty. In your mind powers, Frosty. I'm not putting that in my mind panels. No, right down, just okay.

You never know when we need it. Excuse me, she's ready. Ms. Brunegrave is his breakfast. We're not. Oh, you're worried. I'm a hop to. Maybe at the left in, too. Oh, you'd be us to scurvy-skellywag game.

I'm wearing a high cock hat. Oh, no. Oh, no, you feel totally. My mind is filled with pony poop. What about the pony? No, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. I think I've told you everything.

No, wait, before you go anywhere, just hang on. Let's check this other room real quick, because I think the hope is we can solve this guy's soul thing real fast. Then you just take him with you. And we're done with that. No, she's going to have the map. We're still coming back. No, no, we're going to do that.

We're going to solve that problem after we speak with Endo. The guy who's right next to us. Oh, we're going to fuck this out. We can't just sit. We can't just sit. No, time. You think you can't. You think you can't.

You think you can't. I think you can solve a lot of things unless in a minute. No, you can. What? Maybe. Something again. What do you mean? You haven't even seen the problem, Greg.

No, you haven't. Miss, Ms. Mugrave is waiting for us right now. You hear footsteps behind you, and as they round one of the larger props, you watch as Marie immediately collapses into a motionless, completely stationary marionette as stage fright rounds the corner.

Are you ready? Aye. Of course we are. We're the Scurvyllaway. Then I'm gonna need you to put this on and this on and this on and this on and this on. What is this? Oh, okay.

They are wooden masks, similar to the ones you've seen some of the goblins wearing. Oh, what be this? We don't have this on the eyes, see? Is it a whole mask or it's just like an eye mask? It's a whole mask. Oh, sweet, what do they look like? They are, they're carved wooden masks

that have different overly exaggerated expressions on them. So, jubilence, anger, frustration, sorrow. Torbex is actually just another Torbeck face There's like no difference. You put it on? Yeah, fuck yeah. You immediately fuses to your face. Ah!

It's like in the math world. Yeah, you can raise your reality working powers though. I get two in force. It's really fast to each more outfits. Two force. P-A-R-T, why? Because I've gotta. It immediately fuses to your face.

And all of you begin to put them close at the same time, as all of them fuse to your faces. And you all realize that you have absolutely no vision whatsoever. It's you are, for all intents and purposes, blindfolded as you feel things being strapped around your wrists. Gideon, this is all too familiar,

as you feel the shackles clasp around your wrist. And a strength that you don't imagine that stage fright should have, tugs at you, and you feel all of you pulled through this space. You can see nothing. These sounds begin to overwhelm you. Your sense, your other senses,

is almost heightened as you lose the sense of sight. And you feel yourself being pulled through this place. You hear the door open and the raucous sounds of the other room completely consume you as you hear people running lines, as you hear props being built and things of that nature. Before you eventually, you hear, you smell Axe body spray covering what is very clearly unbathed bodies.

As you make your way, you imagine towards the lift. You eventually feel it creaking beneath your feet as you are lifted upwards, but you feel like you're being lifted up higher and higher than just the stage. Eventually, you spill out into a cold room. The cold air is, it's frigid, almost as if it's blowing in from a window. high up in the mountain peaks. It's quiet here. Your feet are no longer on wood,

but you can hear the sound of them clicking against the stone as you make your way deeper and deeper into this place. After about 15 minutes of travel in this way, it feels like you're being led in a very winding path as if they don't want you to know

how to get to this place before eventually you are pushing into a room and you were met with warmth. There is, you can hear the crackling sounds of fire. And you feel the pressure on your wrists lessen as the manacles fall from your wrists. And then you feel a gentle release on your faces. The masks are still affixed,

but you feel like you could take them off. What? Mikey's laughing at gentle release on your face. Mikey's laughing a gentle release on your face. He was laughing at it. Like he was laughing at gentle release is on your face and I started laughing at it. And you said it, Nick's in tears. All I was saying, I said, gentle release.

Nobody said anything when Nicky earlier said ushering a goblin out of her box, okay? And I was this close. I didn't say anything. I would have anything. I would have a goblin out of her box. Holy shit. I helped. Let me take a break.

This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to The Crookedmoon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement,

The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragon, 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. The masks release all over your face. And you do feel like you're able to pull them off. And as you... Yeah! When is it dormant? The bed and dormant will be pulled off, manx. I'll pull it off and feel the sweet release on my face. Yeah, no, you pull it off and you feel the sweet release on your face.

As you, as your eyes begin to adjust to the room, the walls of this chamber are jet black with gold-painted scrollwork, where the walls meet the ceiling and all of the other walls. Ornate high-backed armchairs face a raised dais, an alcove at the back of the dais is half hidden by a black curtain. The equivalent of walking into a, where there's almost like a small stage, is at the very back of this room. The large chairs facing this stage. Everything is quiet.

There is off to the side of roaring fireplace. Stage fright shuts the door softly with a gentle click, and then you hear the sound of a lock, tumbling. You are locked in this room as you look around. You've seen nothing else. Torbeck thinks that Mr. Crummey should do the talking. Kermi should always do the talking. Dios. More like night time.

What's that, Hermann? Cremmy, that's what? I'm sorry. I still, I think of my phone. Well, we just took the mask off. Okay, well, that's all Thorbeck has to say. Well, I mean, I feel like this is the whole team effort thing, you know. We're all an acting troupe.

Oh. Remember that? Yeah. We had the garbage, galleywags. Oh, no. You said it like 14 times. Well, I'd said something different. We need to know the name of our troop, and we have to pretend like we're all pirates, and we need to have pirate names.

We can't introduce ourselves as ourselves. I'm going to be Agway Pete. Dorek doesn't know why that's funny, but Dormick likes it. It's a mask reference. I think she's going to know our names. But we can still say that they're like nicknames. The Ruby Island Place. The Ruby Island Place.

Oh, that's right. But they changed it to like the scumbagg, Scaliwag gang or something. And that's with both that. We were the gang and then became actors. Okay. All right. But she just knows, I mean, she just knows us from the Ori or something. Right.

So then the names don't matter. I mean, like our personal name. I don't think Marine indicated that she would be able to know our names. If she does, we should just go. Go, do the talking. Let's go. All right, let's go. We're locked in this room. We're waiting for someone. It's just you in this room with this roaring hearth. There are high-backed chairs facing what is clearly a small stage that's raised up quite a bit. And there's nothing on the stage. There are no special lights. It's just you. And it looks like there's a chair for each of you. Let's check the chairs and make sure that there's no one on the stage.

Torbick thinks that we should sit down and be the audience Well, no, she didn't bring us here to perform yet, I don't think Why's her stage? Well, it's kind of above everything, man. Maybe she just likes to talk at people while staying in the way high. She likes theatrics, yeah, it's over the time. That's pretty cool, actually. I'm going to stand next to a chair.

I'm going to stand next to a chair. I'm going to sit down because Torbeck's dogs are barking. I got to sit down. I mean, I'll sit in the middle. All right. I'll sit on the end, but closer in then Torbeck. I'm gonna lean on a chair and stand. Oh, I dress Gid up to look like Blackbeard from off-laden's.

I love that. It's like no jacket or hat, but so basically kind of like Dread Pirate Robbins without the bandana. That's what gets dressed up. And so, and you were doing one? Oh, I'm just sitting in the chair. Towards the end, but not as far out as Torrance. You sit in the chair and you immediately see one of the stage lights illuminate.

Oh, for us, or if I hate to say, I think you're gonna have to sit down. It's obvious now, I'll sit. As each one of you sits, you see a light. You see a light illuminate, as all of the lights illuminate. The stage, it doesn't look like a spotlight.

It's this soft candlelight glow as these lights flicker at the base of the stage, and you hear the sound of, you hear the sound of heels on wood as clearly someone is ascending to the stage. And all of you in a moment feel this pulse in your chest. As clear as day, you hear this strange sound of electricity and a rush of worrying as if the, I would say it's very clear knowing what you know that the Ori of Tragedies has activated. You immediately feel this.

This pulse, it's incredibly strange, as in front of you on the stage, draped in black robes, the hag appears down at you from her curtained alcove. Her long fingers twitch, and extra hands appear from within the folds of her ghastly dress. She gazes upon each of you in turn before saying, Seekers of fate, you have come before the dame of unhappy endings to glimpse your doom. behold the hag unveils a puppet theater that was hidden in her clothing

and include stringed marionettes that resemble you and your companions with each tug of the strings the puppets bob around the stage speaking in the hag's scratchy voice for reference this is what you see Oh my God That's bad asses

That's bad asses Horrified though Touring is speechless Immediately Immediately the puppet show that she begins to perform. Immediately the puppet show that she begins to perform within the stage on her person, the puppets begin to change and they begin to,

they begin to appear as entities that you are familiar with. You immediately see as the entire scene, which was at first showing all of you sitting here in the audience room begins to shift. and changed to what looks like a desert. Train tracks laid out for miles. You hear, you see a puppet train as it's going over these tracks. You hear the sound of the train whistle,

and then you can see that Endelen is making all of these noises and sounds deep with hidden beneath the veil that is covering her face as it's emanating from her throat, but it's almost as if she's able to make every single sound sound create this scene and bring it alive as you watch the train chug forward and forward and forward. You hear the sound of the whistle and then you hear what sounds like steel on steel and then eventually the sounds of a struggle as you see a small puppet Gideon tied to the tracks an entire train filled with hobgoblin puppets rushing forward towards him as they as they pull the

chain the train gets faster and faster and faster and as the wheels make contact with his body, the puppet completely separates in two, and the scene changes. You watch as the forest appears. You hear the sounds of birds, you hear the sounds of animal life as they are going about their business. And then you hear this sad, sorrowful cries

of an owl bear, a young owl bear. And as the forest begins to change, you see this puppet owlbear shrinking against the darkness of the forest as these horrific Faye beasts are bearing down on it. Out of the brush, you see Grico jump forward and begin to protect it as he does everything he can to save this creature from the dangers that threaten it.

But he is not enough to combat the monsters of the Faye as they overtake him. You are, the room erupts in the sound. of screams as the scene changes. The dark wood of the trees, that foresty color, turns to what looks like undulating brown water. And as the scene moves further back, you see that it is a rum bottle being shaken on a table.

The puppet of Cremie is trying desperately to stay above water as it's slammed down on a desk. A familiar laugh echoes throughout this room, perfectly mimicked by Endelin. As you, you can't tell this, you can't hear the sounds that are, the words that they're saying, but there are clearly two entities having a conversation as one of them moves the rum bottle back and forth, attempting even more to drown Kremi within the, the, you know, the, amber liquid, before the other entity. You can't see. You just see a long, thin hand stretch out and grab the neck of the bottle. As it's tipped upward, you hear the sounds of gulping as the

rum begins to be consumed and the scene begins to change. You see Frost, alone in a room, a sterile room. No one comes to check on him. This fur is, gray, skin is slightly wrinkled. He's attempting to do a crossword puzzle, but his memory just isn't what it was before. He, the intelligence that he had is gone. He looks out the window and there's a sadness on his face as he realizes that the life that he had is gone.

And he doesn't remember much as he looks towards a painting on the wall of him and his friends. and his friends and for a second you see a look of unfamiliarity, almost a look of nervousness, not being sure where he is or what he's doing. And as he goes to lay down in bed, you see he's getting frail as he closes his eyes for the last time and the scene changes to yet another sterile room. This one filled with fay creatures of all kinds. The sound of screaming in this room is significantly worse. As you hear two voices that you've heard, Torbeck's and the others, they scream one right after the other, almost as if both of them are vying to come to the forefront before.

This puppet scene shows Torbeck strapped to a table, witchlight being pumped out of his body, different scientific tests being done on him until he's getting thinner and thinner and thinner, wasting away beneath these tests, pieces of his body being removed, before eventually you hear the horrible, angry yell of a voice that you've never heard before, as the other puppets in the room are trying to shake him awake, trying to use him some more, but they've used him up as the curtain closes.

You hear the soft sounds of music playing in the background for a minute before Endelen begins to begin. clap. The Ori, the Ori has told me so many things about you. Your face, pleasant, lovely, aren't they? People you have angered. The value that flows through your veins, everything you have to loom. That is your fate if you do nothing. I know who you are, Carnival-Cru. I've seen it. I know what you've done to my sisters. I would offer you a deal.

I know what you plan, that I can change your fate. I don't want much. Let me pull up a chair and we will talk. I will provide for you exactly what you need to craft your own future. future, rewrite history, and you will offer me a witch-light carnival. What do you feel about conversation amongst friends?

So, uh, the whole pirate thing isn't needed anymore? It's quite amusing, you may keep the costumes on. Oh, Torbek feels silly now. I've enjoyed your show. I had a whole backstory prepared and everything. Yes. there. I suppose it wasn't very believable

that I was the king of the Rumba beat. No. No, it wasn't. But we can have a conversation even if we're dressed all silly luck like pirates. Yeah, I mean... I guess that's how it always goes. Just more talking,

more dealing. Yeah. I was going to go by the shadow pirate Le Steve. But I guess I'll throw that in the train. Let's chalk. We're here to chat. I did appreciate that.

She pulls on a corded rope and you see moving down from the rafters, an even larger version of the chair that you're sitting in as it lowers. And she is able to lower herself into the chair. Her dress spilling out over it. As she adjust, sometimes you see the curtain on the front open and you see the puppets dangling lifelessly on the inside of this contraption.

But she adjusts her skirts and closes. the curtain again, folding her long spindly fingers over two of her long spindly fingers over one of her knees, the other two over the other knee, as she looks out towards the five of you. You have stolen something from my sister and she desperately wants it at. A unicorn horn, it seems you have in your possession. That will cut right to the children. There are a handful of things we can help each other with. Now, of course, I do still require payment. I cannot offer my alliance with you for free, so you will perform for me this evening.

Our original mother horn players are indisposed. And so we have an evening devoid of entertainment, which would be a show. be a shame, of course. So you will. Agree, yes? To perform for us? And what do we get in return? Your lives.

All right, no, that's fine. We can perform, yeah. Exactly right. Right away. Yes, yes. We're very good performers. We have a whole play for pay and everything. It's very tragic and sad. Yes, I have already looked into the ory and had stage fright begin to write up a screenplay.

for you. You will be able to utilize that, but the rest of the performance will be on you to manage. You can handle the costumes and the props and the extras and everything else on your own. Yes, the answer is yes. Yes, yes. We became familiar with the props and the extras. Oh, we know, we know a way out of theater. Got a cover. We, if you probably saw on your order, we actually put on quite a show for the folks at that fall is what I will say, on not a huge notice.

Yes, yes. Or budget. The work you've done in downfall is interesting, isn't it? An entire civilization now in unrest. My sister is struggling to keep things together there. I thank you in advance for the destabilization of hither. It's what I've always wanted. So in this, you've done me a favor already.

Well, good to know. And, you know, plenty more where that came from. And then, my lovely sister, and thither, you've rid her of will of the faywile, but in doing so also rid her of her most loyal, or so she thought, go ought. And now she, too, is struggling so dearly, because our unicorn horn is gone, the only thing she had to dangle over the rest of our heads. Poor thing! And where does that leave bitter end? At the top, my dear. is where it leaves me. And that is why we have this meeting.

I would like you to rid me of my sisters once and for all. And in doing so, I will rid you of your debt and I will return you back to the material plane. You can just take care of the whole thing? There is something I want that I can only only claim with the deaths of my sisters. There is a room in the Palace of Hearts desire, and in it is what I need. If I'm going to run the witch-like carnival, of course, which is the final piece of this deal. My sister's heads on a platter, the key from the room and the carnival in hand,

and I can offer you, offer you your lives, and let you walk out of here. unscathed. Honored guests of Mother Horn, I'll give you a key to most of the doors. You will have access to all of the stage hands, to all of the darklings. You will be able to come and go as you please. Just for as long as you're staying in my domain, you will be honored. Held high in Endlands' esteem, no one will be able to touch you. On top of this, once the play is complete and my sisters are killed, I will get you to the Palace of Heart Society. Now, the Beastie that lurks at its gates will be up to you to find a way to rid yourselves of, but once you've done so, I can provide this key.

She pulls out this beautiful golden key that the end of it is a heart. And inside of it, and inside of it, it you see what appeared to be two chess pieces, a red king and a white queen. This key can get you into any room inside of the palace. There is a treasure trove in there with more than what you owe your friend back home. Hanging inside the door is a satchel. It can be filled with countless things that you can put inside and will weigh nothing more than five pounds. You could take everything in that room. You will be wealthier beyond your imagining. Far wealthier than the friend you owe.

A measly, what is it, 100,000 gold to? I was a lot of money. In this room, it is nothing. You could trip and stumble over a thousand gold. You could own everything. And all of it would be yours. and when you are done you'll return to me

with my sister's rocking horse my sister's lily pad and I have my own vehicle of transportation three of them combined can get you back home simple isn't it well it sounds simple and I think we're considering it I think we're leaning

towards a yes hey lads we've met your one sister We met you two, sister. We feel like we can handle them. Had John Platter. We have not yet met

the third sister and I don't know if we know if that... I am the third sister. I mean the youngest sister. I have no other sisters. That's right. That's right. I was talking about the other one.

Well, look, I don't think we need to discuss that as long as we can get into the palace. No questions asked. Get to this room. It seems so simple to me. Looted. You perform this evening, entertain me, and as long as I'm pleased, our deal goes off as planned. You will then, you may stay as long as you like,

enjoy what we have to offer here at Mother Horn, and then you'll find a way to get my sisters here. The performance of a lifetime. the final night of grand theatre, and in doing so we will end them together. Once the deed is done, I can easily whisk you away to the Palace of Hearts Desire. You are strong, you're clever,

you'll find something to do about the Jabberwock, and then with this key in hand, you'll procure your fortune. I will open the way for you to return home. There will, of course, be a pact in which you have to provide me the keys to the Witchlight Carnival, but I'm sure that's not a problem at all.

We can set up a time, yes, I'll give you one year from the moment you return back home to provide me with ownership to the carnival that I desire and everything will be right as rain. No more coven for me to worry about. It would just be me, queen of Prisman,

the dame. Let me suggest we kill your sisters? Come up with a clever way and it would be truly terrifying and pain. You will make them suffer. Yes? I mean, we can try best. You know, they're not necessarily chumps. They're idiots, the both of them.

I feel like that's the easy part. My sister sits in a fallen tree and cries over the loss of a unicorn. She doesn't even have the unicorn item. You do. You do? Well, it's in yon. Do you have any suggestions on how we might feel like the two sisters, like I said, on a platter? You're only two sisters on a platter.

The beastie what is guarding the palace? It's a beast, how hard can it be to destroy. Well, we, I'm sure you saw in your, uh, machine. Yes, that none of you die at its hands. hands. Is that a guarantee? I've seen your futures and now so of you. What do you have to be afraid of? Well, I don't necessarily like what you showed us. I mean, you obviously can see a lot, y'all. You know a lot about us. I will say it's awfully convenient that, you know, we all saw these little scenes, but when Frost showed up, still ought to lick a backstory. It's

fucking miraculous. I don't see that. What I do say is what you showed us, those futures, they're off the grim. And are you saying that it is what it is or that this deal will somehow help us avoid those fates? I've seen my own future. And in it, my sisters live. We change my future, I can help you change yours. I know the thread that needs to be pulled. I know the thread that needs to be cut.

And she pulls from her pocket of hair of delicate, shears. And you watch as she pulls from her other side a thread, and she snips it, you watch as it falls down. I know the thread that needs to be cut to sever these futures. You'll have the power to craft the future you want. Future in splendor.

As rich as you could ever be, home, away from, away from the Faywild you hate so much. This all sounds so easy. How come you haven't gone to this room and gotten to yourself? I mean, you got this fancy key. Why not just walk right in? I'm not capable of entering the Palace of Heart's Desire, just as neither of my sisters are.

But you are not prevented. Um... You can act for me, and once I have what I need. I see no reason we could not move forward for as long as we choose as out. allies, Carnival a crew, and the queen of the witchlight carnival, the dame of despair. Even if we get past the Jabber Walk and use this key and get in there, last I checked, the palace still had a king.

What are we supposed to do about that guy? The prince, Lee. Yes. No, he wishes you are a king. You are no king without a queen. Yeah, well, anyway, enough about all that. What would you... Please.

No, go ahead. I was going to ask what would happen to the carnival if you took ownership over it. Uh, it is... Well, it would continue much as it does now, but we would enjoy slightly altered fare. A, after is enjoyed a little too much there, I think. My life could be as I've always wanted. traveling the world, performing, being the star. And everyone would bow to me every night.

Whether they like it or not, because it would be my carnival. You heard the lands beyond death. There was a carnival there one, twisted and a mirror carnival. The witch-like carnival. Think what would happen if they were combined together. The duality of life and death.

where death reigns supreme. But life is there to feed into the agony and the tragedy, for you know you cannot have a tragedy where everyone is always dead. It has to be a little bit of life to torture. Doesn't it sound lovely? Nor mine. And my sister's not there to take it from me. No one there to take it from me.

And you wouldn't get involved, would you? No. Shake your heads, no. No. not get involved. No, we'll even kill the two bloke swine-o-o-to-o-two for you. Why not? We'll throw that in the park. That's a lot of killing,

Gringham. That's what we're going to get it from. Because no one's going to stop us. Commit to less things. We tie up loose ends. I'm committing to our bargain. No one's going to take it from Miss Enderlin because Mr. Wicks and Mr. Lott will have their heads on a pletter right before lovely Miss Enderlin.

Can you stop him, man? Why don't you Cray's almost on here! No, he's not on your side? No, he's not on your side with adding addendum's the deals. We can negotiate. What, I mean, Grico brings up a good point. How the hell are we gonna get this carnival from him? You'll have one year to figure it out.

Well, but the carnival shows up every seven, so how do you suggest we fucking hunt these guys down? Just because it shows up to, what is it, your little place of Agui? Agway. Oh, strange. Just because it shows up to Ogway, every seven years, does not mean it's nowhere else during that time.

Find it. Are you capable or are you not? I think we could find it. You know, and I guess suppose we could... I used to work there. Staling. I can help find it. Oh, yeah.

Griggled's been there, right? I used to be a connie there. I forgot about that. Yeah. Then do we have... A deal. I'm like some people. Riggi is dying.

He is dying to know. I want to know. Who are you? Look, Mr. Cremier, Torbe is going to just tell you, Torbe doesn't have any need for all this money, all this killing, but Torbeck cares about you guys and wants to help. Oh, how cute.

I don't care about you, all my family, blah, blah, blah. I mean, should we sidebar about this? Yeah, that's what you're trying to do. I will listen. Yes, it's plain. She has a machine that brings the future and sees everything. She got a divination machine.

Oh, never mind, Storbeck. Is this all like, pre-determined? Like, can we actually change the future once we know it? Torbeck, she showed us the visions that she claims are our future, unless we change our actions and change our path in life. We have no way of knowing if it's actually real. Yeah, it's really hard for Torbeck to understand

if it's all just going to happen anyway, or like we have free will and all that stuff. She looks out to you, and all four of her hands reach out, and she begins to cast magic, and you feel one, two, three, four strings shoot down from the ceiling and latch into your body as you begin to be puppeted around. I need you to roll a wisdom saving throw for me, please.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nothing like this. No need for all that. Wisdom you saying? Uh-oh. Oh, hot damn. Torbeck is a 21. Oh!

Yeah, and that would be good for most people. This is Endlin, and you imagine that the DC was probably 23, so you're very close. But you immediately, your eyes, you watch us Torbeck's eyes go milky white. Torbeck, where you had been in this room, you now look around and you are strapped to a table underground. You feel tubes. being pumped into you.

You feel syringes being wrenched in under your flesh. You feel yourself. You felt this before, but this is turned up to 1,000 as they crank up the pain as the pain, ratchets and ratchets and ratchets. And in about the span of what is a minute, you experience 10, 15, 20 years of your life being tortured and experimented on,

as she puppets you to experience your fate. And you watch as Torbeck's body is like, his elbows are twisting the road away. I would immediately jump up. His body is shaking. Stop what you're doing, stop it. Look at what you're doing. No, wit.

She continues and then she drops you and you fall against the ropes and they quickly let loose from you. And your eyes come to and you feel yourself in this space, but for a second, you were there. You felt the moments leading up to the end of your life. No more! No, no!

It's okay, don't know. Oh, Tom, it's gone. Oh, my, looking at his machines. Oh, it's okay, it's okay. I'm going to race. I'm going to race over. I'm going to, no, no, no, more questions. I'm going to race over, and I'm going to put my hands on to Torbeck's head,

and I'm going to immediately cast calm emotions as I suppress those feelings and compartmentalize them, pat them away into the back of his mind. No more, no more pain. How could you do this? Stop, stop, stop. I'm going to push, I'm going to push all of that. You do not seem to grasp the seriousness of what you've found yourselves within.

You come to this place and you meddle in things far larger than you. I'm giving you your freedom. I offer it to you with open arms. I do not need to tell you what awaited you in your future. I could have allowed you to walk in to your face, unknowingly, with no option to change. but in the kindness of my heart, I've shown you, and you question me. The kindness of my heart, I offer you this safety.

And all I ask is not much. I ask you to help me with the sisters you already hate. Do you already plan to their demise? I simply ask that I am removed from those plans. Annalin, you've shown us much. I don't appreciate the cruelty that you've shown my friend. But you clearly have tremendous power, and I think that it is important to that we take this offer very seriously. I will give you to tonight after your performance.

I will come to you backstage, and you will answer. You will give me your answer then. So it will give you not a minute later. No additional time. We don't have time. Now do we? We have to agree. We have to agree.

We have to agree. I have one question. Are you afraid of what's coming to you? Don't ask that. Don't ask questions, Mr. Crummy. Please. Please. Unlike my sisters, I am not stupid.

I fear death. So I will cheat it. And you will help. me and I will help you. You, she looks to you and her eyes bore into you. You can see them illuminated. Her face is gaunt. Her eyes are almost hollow.

Her cheekbones sunken as she looks towards you. Her long neck extends forward. You fear your fate. Yes, yes. As do I. And you, of all them, You should fear yours. They have death in their future.

But should I show you what it feels like to lose your soul, Kremi Lecru? Maybe then you would understand the gravity of the situation. Hey, don't you touch him? I would not lay a finger on him. I don't mean to say that you shouldn't try to change the future. I just feel like no matter what we do, something's coming for us one way or another. You know, I met a man

a long time ago in my travels. There's a man from Yon. You know where Yon is? Peninsula of Southwest Malmoo. You don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I have no idea what you're talking about. Some kind of... Is it in thither?

Charmon, a medicine man or something. Oh, yes, it must be in thither. And what he told me is he, peered into the future and saw his own death at the hands of some terrible beast, a wolf or something. And I asked him if he was scared. And he said, no. But there was no need to try to change it. He accepted it because that's the natural order of things. And, you know, that stuck with me. And that I think, uh, You know, we all make our decisions in life and we can try that on a pass if we can, but one way or nothing, the Papa's going to pat.

And so I'm not saying you shouldn't try to change your path, your future, but what I am trying to say is, how sure are you that doing all this and going through all this is going to make a difference? Roll a persuasion check. There will be no guarantees for my feet, but I will try. I refuse to end up like my sisters, like my mother, irrelevant. I will have my carnival. It will escape this place, whether it is with your help or another's. I would ask you the same, Mr. LeCrew, the gambler, the jambler, the jambler. cheat, a liar. In everything that I've seen, you are a man constantly attempting to change his fate.

Why would this be any different? I see your fear. If not for you, then for them. You have. Until the end of your show, you may go. All right, we'll think on it. And I have one last question. Ah, yes. I know that there's been a lot of questions, and I am on your side. I'm going to do my best to make sure we come to an agreement everyone can agree on. But I need your word that you are better than the man, what we owe our souls to, Cremie especially. When Cremys deal, what we're running from, why we're even here, is because his former employer, current employees. employer has a contract, well there's no good, I look around, like, how much old, this

no good con artist included a poor defenseless little owl bear would have nothing to do with our schemes and scams. So if you give your word and if it's as good as what we've heard, even for people who have suffered at your hands, and I believe then that Hootsie, who's see, T. Q. Grimgrim. Full name. We'll be no part of this. No matter what happens with the Jabberwark.

We all fail at the Jabber Walker. She has nothing to do with this. She will not be harmed. And she will be free of the coils of Remigoo. This. And a nice trip to the Chateau. It was called... Girl for me, Benin.

It was called Chaw-Chi Dinner. Yeah. I feel like Audenna, Carver from a very large pigeon-looking man. The Polish and Alba. Your creature. My daughter. Your daughter. Yes.

I do not make deals with Albear. If you have... She, I am no threat to her. I will offer my protection. Should anything before you, any land in which I rule, she will always... be safe. That is the most I can offer you. And whenever kind of protection we get, she will be protected from Remy Garoo and his grinning sinners. She will afforded the same protection that you receive, but she is not otherwise engaged in our deal. I find that amenable. Thank you, your miserableness.

that and you bow to her, she smiles. The biggest smile that you've seen on her face, that clearly pleased her. A very vile farewell to you. And to you, you may leave. And please do not disappoint me. Go. I'm gone. As soon as I say very vile farewell, I back out and I scamper. you leave and immediately stage fright shuts the door and motions to the masks that you have on your person. And for the sake of brevity, you are all able to put your masks on, you are manacled again, and you are ushered back down to the prop room. When you get there, you find the map exactly where you left it. And you are given a handful of instructions from stage fright, that you are to be performing a play this evening in only a couple of hours hence.

So you don't have that long to go. And you're performing Le Creole en Rouge and Tragedy in Two Parts. And that there is a list of roles that have already, he is still working on the script itself. And so the script is not ready, but he provides you the roles and the first draft of the script so that you can begin performing. You can begin practicing your lines. You can begin figuring out your props and things of those nature. And you are given the roles of Gidtholomew, the sad but incredible poet, who is truly better than the life that he has been given. Kramine, the diamond of the Le Croulin Rouge, the performer who has dreams even bigger than her stardom,

but who is destined to suffer a tragic fate. The Duke, a man that has more money than anyone can ever hope for. You misspelled it. It just says dick in this script. But the dick, yes. The Duke has more money than anyone could have ever hoped for, but his heart is, is empty and he yearns for companionship that he is never to find. Harold Grickler, the goblin owner of the Le Moulin's,

Lecroulin Rouge, who is, who is a shrewd businessman with lofty dreams, but the Lecroulon Rouge is falling under hard times and he is working his star, Kramine to the bone. And his dreams are more important than anything else, and he'll do anything to keep the Lecrulence Rouge

functioning. And then lastly, an entire group of Faye creatures that have big dreams for turning this place into something different, something hopeful, a world of love

and art, and they are led by the narcoleptic bugbear. Oh, and the And the rest. And the rest. This one's got no name. You know, after experiencing 20 straight years of torture in less than 60 seconds, somehow this still sucks.

Yeah, we really just stood there for 60 seconds. I don't know if the deal you. What the hell? The Nargoletic Bug Bear? Who's going to play that role? I think that's you. We'll feel it out. And the rest.

That's the rest. God. And the rest. Come on, Tolick the rest. There are other parts there, too. Yes, they suck. We can talk about it. We can talk about us, see, and we can all read the script.

It's not obvious who's doing what. I have to play this. I have to play around with it a little bit. This dick. I'm sorry. Why can't torment me kids all of you? Well, we can workshop it. We can figure it out.

Let's see who plays what, all right? All right. Oh, man. And that is, that's what you are left with. You have been given the, you, you've been given the instructions that you have roughly about two hours or so before, before curtain call. And that you have that time to memorize your scripts, practice your lines, figure out who you're playing, and get the costumes together, figure out your sets, all of these things. but that you, the entire crew down here has been informed that this is to happen

and that if Endelin is displeased by the performance that happens this evening, that it is not just the five of you that will pay the price, but every single person in Motherhorn will suffer. And so they are all at your beck and call, including the diva, should you need to work with her.

And you, for the sake of the sake of, this, you can just spend some time making your plans for how you would like to have the performance go ahead. You don't have to interact with NBC if you don't want to for the sake of perfect because of 1145. You can do whatever you want. I'm just here to guide you. But that is what has been laid before you. I finished reading this script. You do. Well, I memorized my lines. I don't know who you're playing, Frost. I'll kind of look over. Oh, they wrote the role of a mincing sex pest. That's not, Frosty

You know what, that should be Frost Frost, you'll be the dude Oh, thank goodness Turbick was sure You were gonna try to give me that roll on Torbay Oh, things are looking up Well, this is the

Nocalyptic bugbear And I feel like You could really Could really take on the role of a bugbear Dad's like to Rexan Grico's also a goblinoid So maybe, you know

I can mix it up My hat in the ring for that Oh, also for the I'm going for the mincing sex pest if you don't want to play that, mostly. I always feel like I could pull off a very handsome thin mustache. I've already memorized my mustache. Okay.

All right. Yeah, just memorize the old ones. The mincing sex pest is for us. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. So, for the nocalyptic bug bear. Three options. Well, I mean, unless you're interested, I mean, I know it says bug bear, but that doesn't necessarily mean you need to play the bugbear. No, I mean, it's because you're a bug bear doesn't mean you have to play the bug bear.

Do you're just worrying that it's. This is like the start of his career. He's gonna get pigeonholed and just playing bug bears. Is it? All right, I wanna see all three of you, y'all, fall asleep while standing mid-sittance. Oh, what do you mean like we're heading it? That was pretty good.

That's a good. Wow, that's a tough act to follow. I must get into character. I need to get the costumes. Take it time. Take it down. I'll read around. I'll find some like a dressing gown, some slippers.

A little nightcap, a little white nightcap, and like a little candle. I'm not really be Scrooge Maxing. You look great. Well done. Well, I suppose I can't go to sleep. I'm standing up unless I have a hungry bread and a spot of cheese. Okay, all right. All right.

Who goes his spirit? Oh, very eloquent. This is a strange angle. Peturek likes it. His new spirit? Can't this future being for stalls? You are aware of what narcolepsy means. Future.

Of for stars. What? Narclexi. You know what it means? Yeah, I mean, Buddy Neal was always a narcolepsy. He was always ratin out all the cool kids. I'm kidding, ma'amphrosby. Don't know that's my husband.

Give them time. Let them cook. Let them cook. Oh, Spirit. He's had you. Oh, no. My old business partner, Neil. We saw too many counterfeit marshal the scattering cards. And now my face. Oh, no. But surely, surely they will not find me when I finally get into my full poster bed and canopy. Also, I'm a buck bear. Hey, good.

Well done, Rico. Torbett is a nice. I'm always going to follow that. Huh? Huh? Good job. You can always try Scrooge-Maxing like me. Like a pro.

All right, Torobeck, let's see what you got. Okay. Scrooge-Maxing. Really? He's actually just asleep. Yeah. No, Torbeck actually instantly falls asleep. Look, I mean, if you see a sketch of the character,

I mean, this is just a bug bear that's asleep. Look at him. Is it? Spitting image of a bug bear, what is this league? That's a one-to-one recreation on the sheet. Yeah, and Grico was frankly way too eloquent to be a bug bear, so Torbeck, you hide. We can let him know.

We'll let him know. Well, I mean, he's kind of doing this thing. He needs to leave, so. All right, Gid, what do you think? What are you feeling? Have you read the script? I don't know. I don't read the script for birds.

All right. Read the script for birds. All right, well, you've got three options left. Well, I mean, it's Githalmue. That's right. Cremay. That's right. And what was the third one?

The third one is the one who owns the... Harold Grickle. The Lachuro and Rouge. Herald Grickler. Sorry, someone's speaking about Harold Grickler. I mean, it's a bit of a pest of some guy. I mean, oh, darkness is cheap and I like it. Well, here's the thing.

Harold Rickler. He's an entrepreneur. He's a businessman. He's just trying to make his way in the world, you know, and he probably feels the crushing weight of both ambition and responsibility for keeping all these poor opium-addicted actors employed. Responsibility, crushing weight. I hate that.

Do you have any idea how difficult Harold's job is, Gid? No. Any clue? No. Well, I think for this role... I guess you're right. I'll take it. It is perfect for me.

Fine, crummy, I guess I'll take it. Hold on, hold on. I feel like D'Rbeck should be present for this conversation. One moment, I use my mage hand to go into his pack and I pull out the licorice tube, and I start to waft it in front of his face

and he smells the tube. Wake up. Wake up, Torek. Wake up. It's wake-up time. Oh, yeah. There you go. There you go.

Don't I miss anything? We're making final casting choices now. Yeah. Where did we land? Well, you won the narcoleptych-blobair thing. Damn it! You know, the morning-exam to go sleep, man. You're so good at it.

Method acting. Okay, fine. You did extremely well. I guess that just leaves the star of the show. Cremere, a Cremine? Cramine. Cramine. Cramine.

Cramine. I mean, there's only one choice. It's really got to be me, Gid. I don't see any other way, although I will change the diamond. Get out. We'll make it the amethyst. Purple's more my color now, anyway. I do have one more question.

When you make your entrance, I don't think that you should be lowered down inside of a giant circular hoop. I could resemble in the clips, and we should pick another shape. Oh, you're right. Oh, oh. Wait, wait, hold on. What was your idea? Oh, I was thinking it might be like a big old shell opens up.

Wow. Oh, like the Venus is a voice. Oh, I'm thinking of Adidas. And also, perhaps you could sing as well with Bert Reynolds as a dog. Well, that sounds a little tacky, I guess, but it could work. It's either that, or maybe I come down instead of a hoop. Maybe it's like sort of rounded. and then there's like a perch for a bird,

and it's sort of like metaphorical, like I'm a bird trapped in a cage. Oh, it's on. We could have a, we could have the techies construct an actual literal cage then, like a bird cage. You notice that there are, the door is open, and as you say this, a bunch of goblins run out

and immediately begin constructing it. Oh my God, we have our own goblin techies, right? All we have to do is say it. They're all wearing turtlenecks. That's very strange for a goblin. Every single one of their names is Steve. Steve. Yeah, they've all.

got jobs. To do. Golden Techies luck from Dota. That's right. That's right. And that means Gid, you're going to be Gid Tholomew. It's a noble role.

It's a role that is intended to be romantic, earnest. Having read the entire script, I promise you, all you have to do is be yourself, and you will be able to see it through. Yeah, I'm romantic all the time. There's no problem there. You just mean man.

You're a man, I know, but romantic. You have to have the idea of... Oh, no, but because this is for the stage version, during the emotional climax of the show, you need to sing crazy by now it's possible. That's true. I'm gonna just change on. Yeah, I don't know.

Change her back to the movie version. That's my character. It's a perfect board. No. I remember when. No. And I'll say, crazy.

Narls Barkley walks in, he's actually just a Narlborn. Oh, that's great. He's the costume guy. Man, licensing is even tough here. That's crazy. That's crazy. I read line every single change for the stage show. And I put it back to the new version.

As you finish a page, you toss it and one of the steves will grab it and rush it off to stage fright. And by the time you're done with all of the pages, all of your edits have gone back to stage. right? And within like, within like five minutes of your final edit, you have a brand new script where it is no longer the stage version, but it is the mirror image adaptation. Are Grigo and I are really going to have to sing a mash-up of like a virgin? Oh.

Wait, that's how you pronounce that? How do you, how do you pronounce that? No, my. Play the game! Could you also, like, try to at least add, like, a number for me? So I'm, like, not just obviously, like, the ailing, older male actor on stage who's doing his last show and can't sing very well. I just cut the shandling. I'm old, I'm going to, Grico, I'm sorry.

Oh, there's nothing I can do. Oh, you can. Well, hold on. I can maybe fit something in. Do you have a suggestion? I don't know. You're the great, you know. I mean, I guess I do it right all.

of the great tale of Somorgo. Oh, we have a time, right? We'll workshop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do, what do they call it, your treatment? I'll give my notes. I'll give it a good nice Grigger treatment. You begin to make notes over the pristine new script,

and as you finish, I'm trying on outfits. It takes like five minutes before you get another new script with Priko's notes. Oh, I think you should call it. Maybe give it a nice dark backstory to Griggler. You know, Grickler. You know, Grickler is up the screenier. This isn't even the same script.

This is totally different. That's horribly tragic backstory. The thieves are getting very confused. He lost his ailing brother and more. Everyone's in love with them. And I think the three, I think the three intermission show-sopping tune will be my rendition of creep.

Oh, perfect. I continue to work on, I'm on my Grico treatment. Oh, God. I'll just be where I need to be. I'll say what I need to say, and then we'll be done with it. That'll be fine. Over the next hour and a half, you split off and you practice your lines. You redo the script.

You figure out exactly how you would like the performances to happen, and the steves, all go do their job. They get everything done. And at about 15 minutes before curtain, you all find your stuff. rallied around the lift, you're all in costume, you're ready to go, you believe that you have your lines memorized. You know that they're setting up the first bits of scene. You can hear, even from down here, the auditorium filling full of people, and you hear cheers as clearly Endelin arrives. Five minutes now before curtain, you're all standing together.

Everyone is rushing to and fro, making everything work. work as you all prepare for what is perhaps the most important performance of your life. Is there anything that you would like to do before Kurt? Steve or stage fright or whomever goblin I'm speaking to? Yes, Steve. Yes, Steve. The last time we performed, they were able to produce a variety of potions that made it possible for me to perform on stage without terrible fright and also sing. Do you have any kind of magical solution in this way?

Yeah, sure. Hold out your hand. Actually, just open your mouth. Oh, no, I see what you're doing. I'm ready. I'm ready to go. Who's the narrator? Who play the narrator?

The lift begins to shake. Oh, it's her toolbox. Oh, too much. You know, open very strong. Molly was dead to begin this. Oh, no. You can't be changes now. Okay, too late, too late.

Okay, we're running back. We'll take long. Frost really can't talk, can he? He can talk. He can talk. He can talk? He can talk? I can talk.

Yeah, he can talk, talk. And I can sing. Wow. Wow, I'm sorry. I should have been faster on the dog. I'm going to say, you're welcome. And it is with that that you all find the lift being raised up to the stage. You all take your positions as you see the lights begin to go down as the performance is about to begin.

And with one final pat on the back and one final break a leg, Le Croulin Rouge, a tragedy in two parts, begins. That is not the song that I wanted. you keep smelling all those guys keys? You wouldn't understand. Your blood is literally made of wishlight. It's a Scandinavian song. I don't understand. We're going to take like a two-second break

because this is not the song I did. Yeah, real familiar with that one person with the super long nail. Yeah, why does Princess Leia have that one real long nail? Okay, there we go. This is a work. Action.

I don't know. I just, I don't know. This is this an odd choice for them? Okay, perfect. This is the work. I'm on the space. I'm pretty sure the director said there would be no underwear in space, too. What is the actual fuck?

It's true. There's a true story. There's a true story in the voice of Frost, and now you know it. part of your brain, you can't unknow it. All right. With that, the spotlight hits the stage.

The curtains go up. And you see, even though, even though he said that he had horrible stage fright, you see stage fright in the middle of the stage as he looks out to the audience and

begins to speak. Melancholic strings, a beautiful handwritten card. It reads, A Motherhorn Production, and you see a card drop down. That says a Motherhorn production. Dissolve to a second handwritten card. It reads, a second card drops down. The Ruby Island Players Present.

Dissolve to a third handwritten card. It reads, Downfall, the equivalent to 1890. A sepia-toned vista of turn-of-the-century downfall. The croaking tower vaults skyward. In the distance, a solitary hill is crows. with a half-constructed cathedral. Push toward the hill in the cathedral. A ramshackle little village at the base of the hill now comes into view.

Montmorego. The village rooftops. An unprepossessing Garrett. Slow push into the Garrett window. Gidtholomew's Garrett. It's dusk. The silhouette of a disheveled, bearded man slumped over ink and quill. Track across books, papers, sketches, old portraits, strange and exotic furniture, and junkyard of experiences.

In the corner, a heavy iron contraption is covered in grimy bedclothes. An incongruous splash of light as a brightly colored bird hops inside its gilded cage. Settle on the bearded man. It is Gidtholomew. Head in hands. Gidtholomew's eyes weary, stare at the blank parchment staring back. at him. Macro shot. The words, La Coulon Rouge are written across the soft white parchment. Whip to, Githolomew. He hesitates. His attention is suddenly caught by the bird as it flaps

its wings against the cage. Expelling a deep breath, Githolomew writes, extreme close-up. Words written onto the page. This story is about love. The man I loved is He is. He is. Githolomew breaks off. A moment of anguish. Barely able to form the words, he forces himself to write. The man I loved is dead.

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