Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 71 | Snicker Snatch

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

On the eve of battle, the gang sets out to collect the pieces of the Vorpal Sword...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/LCBqTCChEII?si=jTnuRPeLCpNIRL5w

Welcome to Legends of Adventress. I'm Twig, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Last time, on Once Upon a Witchlight, you found yourselves in the company of Twig, alive and well, as you all made your way onto your new dirigible, which has many names, but is fondly being referred to as the Flying Circus for now. As you fly off into the sky of Yon, looking at how this place has changed since the lightning strike that completely destroyed the ory of tragedies, you're able to look on as Motherhorn is in disarray. Looking around, you realize that to truly do what you need to do and take your fates into your own hands, that you are probably going to need to start an uprising. And the best place to start is Amdapur.

You move from one place to the next throughout Yon, rallying all of your allies in an attempt to bring the fight to Mutherland's front door to Motherhorn. With Amdipur in support as well as the Cyclops that live in the subterranean depths of this place, you make your way to the Corrins and then the Brigha Knox, able to get all the Cyclops. of them to agree to fight alongside each other and fight for your cause and to fight, to gain back control of yawn. It is with this rebellion in effect that you make your way into the subterranean caverns of Brighenock Mountain in the hopes of finding the first shard of the broken warple blade. Torbeck has a bit of fun as you make your way into the twist caverns beneath the mountain. And it is illuminated by the brilliant embedded wish stones that peek out of the very rock of these caverns.

Until you get deeper and those wish stones become fewer and further between, eventually you eventually find yourselves making your way towards a light off in the distance. a light that does not emanate the same glow that the wishstones did. You can almost feel it, the magic that is pulsing from this cavern. You can tell that there's something different here. There's a stronger magic than anything that you felt in a long while. You make your way into this space and you see the shard there, floating and pulsing with light.

That's it. One of the shards of the blade. We found it. Toby, shut up. George, Tum, Gork. Didn't even say anything, Mr. Kramm. He didn't even sniff them for the last three minutes. Yeah, well, can't?

Real loud, too, man. Can we just go up and take it or there are reps, guards, wards, traps? We know that. I mean, that King of Hart wants this, but presumably some want to keep this away from him, right? Like, maybe there is. Well, there's no way the King of Hearts was going to deal with that troll by the door. That's why we brought door back. Wait, me, that's all the guards are.

I mean, that was the offensive. I mean, we can go grab this thing, man. I mean, this is it. Go on here we go. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Frost is right. We should check.

Can you check? I could attempt to lift it with my mind and bring it here without triggering, perhaps anything that might happen if we cross the threshold into this magical space. You can't like scan it with your mind and, you know, you know what I mean? Oh, man. As much as I enjoy Harvey Birdman attorney at law. Yeah, doesn't it? Yeah. When he uses his mind beads, it kind of goes, oh.

What? What is that what that? I thought I was getting a little something in my ear. That's what cyanic sounds like, kid. All the explosion. I mean, to me fair, Fronies, it's. been talking to me in my mind a long time. Probably the more it does the more effect

that a little bit of blood drops. You're just fine, Bricka. Everything's going to be all right. Only dreams now. Don't tell the others. Don't tell the others. I was thinking I would just grab it with my mind hand. I don't have any way to detect traps, magic, or wards. You know, Frost, we probably use spell slots

once every 20 to 30 episodes, and you think we'd think better fucking spells? Well, I have tongues. What the hell? Everyone's got tongues, idiot. Yeah, we've got tongues. But I have all the tongues. Well, all right, you freak.

Pick it up. Stupid mind. I will pick it up with my stupid mind. As soon as you come into contact with the first shard of the Vorpal Blade, it suddenly radiates with silver light, which consumes your entire, vision as you all experience a waking dream.

The silver light turns to a soft golden glow cast from an elegant lamp in the room of a child's bedroom, decorated with the elegant trappings of nobility or even royalty, with all manner of exquisitely crafted toys and brilliantly painted furniture all over the space. At the center of the room is a large castle made of blocks, with numerous towers spiraling so high they nearly touch the ceiling, which echoes with the laughter of two children. A girl with raven-like hair stands amidst the

the blocks surrounded by the tall walls and parapets of brightly colored wood. Amidst her giggles, she tries to feign despair, crying out, Oh, grandmother has trapped me in the tallest chamber of the tallest tower, of the tallest castle in all the land. I shall never gaze upon the beautiful forests, mountains, and marshes

of my home again. Shall this be my prison for all time? Shall I ever be saved? The girl puts the back of her hand to her forehead and sighs dreamily, closing her eyes, but peeking at the little boy who stands outside of the block castle. With a felt knight's tunic dyed a crimson red and a wooden sword, an elegant mask affixed to his face around pointed ears

that poke through silver blonde hair. He puffs out his chest and shouts, fear not princess for i have the heart of the hero and i shall free you from your fate the boy stands proudly before letting out a dramatic gasp as he digs through a large white and red striped toy chest and pulls out a large green plush dragon with an elongated neck bulging white eyes and dangling tendrils from its alien mouth he runs over to the grand drawbridge of the castle and places it down before hopping back The little girl lets out a cry. By the gods, it's the captor and guardian. My captor and guardian. Please beware the Jabberwock in its eyes of fire, brave Sir Knight. Here it comes, burbling, hoardly, and glumping from its lair.

Du Bois grabs the neck of the plush dragon and lets out his best roar as he jostles its strange neck to puppeteer it to ferocity before stepping back and raising his wooden sword in the air. Be not afraid, young maiden, this foul beast is but a wheel of cheese or a birthday cake before my vocal sword and the gallant knights at my side. We ride post-haste to your rescue. The boy scampers over to the toy chest once more and pulls out an armful of fantastical creatures

and lines them up on either side of him. A wooden owlbear, a metal unicorn, a bone hellhound, a glass displacer beast, and a clay cataplepus. He then draws his wooden sword and steps up to each one, tapping them on each of their sides gently as he speaks to them with reverence and gravity. In the name of the summer queen, I charge you to be brave. In the name of the green king, I charge you to be strong. Now rise, my knights, and let us charge into the jaws of death and claim victory for true love. The boy lets out an exuberant war cry before turning back to face the plush dragon, grabbing its neck with one hand and his sword in the other,

mimicking an intense and well-choreographed fight before he raises his sword high into the air and down hard onto the base of the dragon's neck, which splits by design, revealing two panels of blood red painted wood with slots and pegs. Snicker snack. He grabs the neck and lets out groaning dragon cries before tossing it across the room and knocking the dragon plush body over. He cheers looking back at the monstrous toys

before turning to the girl. I have slain your grandmother's beast, my princess. You're free of your prison. My hero, with a heart of heroism, bravery and strength, it is a day of celebration, Kalu Kaleigh. She excitedly collapses the boy steps forward and pulls open the gate of the castle. Once the children are finally face to face,

the look on the little girl's face shifts to a wince of pain as she grabs her head. She lets out a wail of agony as suddenly a burst of violence, The violent magical energy erupts from her, destroying the block castle instantly and knocking the boy back against a wall and sending the toys scattering.

The boy groans, blood dripping down past his mask, looking to see the girl who is slumped in the center of the room. He looks down and sees that his wooden sword has been shattered and the clay cataplepus has been snapped in half. Then in a flash, the vision leaves you. See that room all right?

That was beast. Man. The Vridian scale. Well, that was, and the captured princess, but... Uh, uh, that was in the past, or is that some sort of, some sort of metaphor? And does that mean that as long as we get him that sword, he can cut the things head off? Who? Just a little kid we got to deal with now?

God, there's a kid. How's a kid going to use a sword? Oh, he was doing pretty good in that vision. I mean, he cut the things hat off. I think he really has a degree in plenty of science, kid. Oh, yeah, I mean, it doesn't translate to anything else. That was the King Hart's. And presumably that was, uh, Ola.

Zabina. Zabella, thank you, kid. Yeah, you're welcome. What? We just experienced a memory, I think. It was shared to us by this shard. Perhaps the other shards will be imbued with similar experiences, and honestly, I'm very thankful that we were bestowed knowledge

and not the pain of some trap or magical. would work. Maybe that's how he remembers it somehow. Maybe he tried some way to free her before and he was defeated by her something. I mean, it looked like she went crazy and blew him up and shattered the blade. Unless that's all just some

kind of, I don't know, childish thing that's eerily similar to what we're dealing with. That's what I mean is that it seemed awful oppression. I mean, it feels kind of like a memory, but also sort of like a premonition. Is that just me?

I... It's been a lot of stress of my brain, maybe. You feeling all right, Rico? You need to sit down? Oh, man. Wait, am I bleeding out of my ears, too? Oh, yeah. Oh, let me sit down.

I don't know what I mean. It's like, I sit down and let me. So now what? Oh, is Frost's mindhand holding the Sharks? Yes, it is. Do I feel comfortable? Yeah, I would say you do. I reel it in, so to speak.

You can feel the presence of magic reverberating around you. And as it gets closer to you, you don't feel any malevolent magics. You don't feel any traps, anything like that. But you can feel that there is a power to this thing. maybe even more so than you thought that there was. And this is a broken piece of the hole. But the light that it releases is gentle and soft now, no longer blinding you in this chamber,

just casting a soft silver glow around this room. I'll extend both of my hands, almost like a cradle, and I will allow the shard to lower into my hands, eventually coming into contact with my... palms to brace a little bit just to hopefully that. It feels almost it feels cool at first

cool to the touch and then immediately it warms to the warmth of your hand. Well I think it is safe we seem to have retrieved the first of many. So then why we just leave and we never come back

here ever again? We can't go back as we want to. We can't go back here with this filthy cave. Why don't we come back here? There we got nothing left for us here. He just has one of the shards of the blade that will be refilled. Yes, to the other's points, there's no reason to come back, but we're not restricted. Get, get in.

Does it smell like wrong princess in here? What's wrong princess? Oh, Torbeck's so glad you asked. Torbick just finally thought for once that somebody wouldn't leave him and it would have just lasted forever. and Torbick hasn't heard from Clementine to hide in the snowboard Torbick's in your reach and it's just like one of those things like, what I do it? Torbett like found a real connection.

That took me way too long to guess. First of all, I'm taking that. I'm writing that down. We're wanting, Torbeck! We're wanting, geez, man. 15 seconds was something but I'm in the troll. We don't care about you. It was 59 seconds. But this is a fantasy game, so Torbeck tried to increase the length of time, but still...

I mean, that is ten-four round. It's fair. You can't watch them. Fine, then where are we going next? Oh, God! Wrong, Princess, smells like shit! I will wrap some fabric. I will wrap the shard, I will put it into my pack,

and I will add it to my inventory. You have one forful sword shard of the vorple sword. Okay, part one. Oh gosh. All right, we just gotta find the last two. Why we've got to deal with a bunch of kids now? Who else is going to march on this other than all those cyclones apparently? That's true.

That was the very fortunate turn of events. I'm not sure I believe, frankly. I don't mean that guy's off the rocker. You couldn't be making all that all up. Like there's no other cyclops. Wait a minute. Yeah. Muddlump?

Do you really think that I'm to pull with, Do that? Look at square in the eye and tell us lies. There's no way he came up with something as cool as the rumbling. Just because he's crazy. Well, here's the thing. I don't know if it was necessarily a lie, but I feel like lie requires intent. And I think he believes.

Now, there's plenty of cyclones in this realm. But I just don't know if that's true. You think he might just be mission fold? Yeah, we had a dream and just thinks it was a premonition. Now it put us in Glythe Pickle. Let's assume that there are fewer than average and plan accordingly. If there end up being more, then we'll be happily rewarded.

But if not, then we need to be prepared. Oh, what's the average amount of cyclops is under the ground? I think we can assume that there's at least one cyclops. Probably 500,000. Holy shit! That's the average! That's the average. Well, I mean, even if we're going to go less than average, I think we could probably just go home, fellas.

I think they got this shit. Yeah, there are a lot of clopes in the ground. Well, are they like awake and can they like, you think they're gonna show up in hell? For what? For the- Oh, you probably missed all that. Wait, what?

You were there for having a poor thing, to like overthrow the over-throw. I was talking to Polonella. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, yeah. She was telling me about bumblebee style. We should probably just move on. What is that?

Back to the flying circus. All right, let's go, fellas. Yes, to the flying circus. Okay, Hootsie, I need you to forget everything that happened. Why does it smell that coral fish in here? Well, you said it and not me. Everything reminds Torbeck of her. No, I think that Torbein was calling that wrong princess.

It smells like shit. Well, she said Carlfish, you said smell like shit. Carlfish do kind of smell like shit. Yeah. Like time, huh? I think a lot of them have incontinence on account of the roids. Yeah, I think it's on the GLEA. Oh, that's a hermone.

Oh, yeah, the hemorrh. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. That's terrible. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Let's leave. To the dirigible.

Alright, Gringo, where we going next? We go to the Flying Circus. You make your way back out to the Flying Circus, and for the sake of brevity, I won't make you roll for avoiding Grunda. And you... No, she's sped. We can afford... She's napping and watching her shows.

We don't want to go to go to Gunda. What? She's watching the real housewives of Yon. She does not... I have time of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you make your way, you make your way through the tunnels. And it's not, it's not difficult for you

to travel through these tunnels and make your way back. You follow the smell of Carlfish and shit, and you eventually find yourselves back in the cavern, the wind rushing past you as you scale up the cliffside and climb up the rope ladder into the river. the flying circus. Where are we going? Well, we got to go to the middle to get the last sword piece.

What are we going to do there? If we got to make sure that this rebellion happens, we find those kids. Yeah, I just could be a whole, this could be a whole adventure. I feel like the brigadocks and the courage were a lot easier to convince in the soggy court. They have customs,

and they might have to put on a whole pompant circumstance, but we only have less than 24 hours time. Thank God we got a freaking airship. So wait, are we going to the soggy quarter or we go on to the thither? We'll go on to thither, the first. Oh, man, who is? Oh, we got to find all those kids.

Yeah, the kids we send to the woods with the owl bed. Well, they were kind of scrappy. They might be able to help. Well, no, they can go in, and they can free all the rest of the kids, and I feel like, I mean, it's one had them. Wait a minute. Are you going to... to stabilize and whatnot.

Are you gonna send a bunch of kids to war? That's exactly right. Yeah, well, 100%. Cool. I mean, I love Dirigibles. Well, to be fair, they will be- Are we gonna give them weapons? They will be assisted by a bunch of cyclones.

We can only assume there's one cyclone. The, this is all happening. This is all, this is all happening as the Jerichibals flying up and out of the mountain, you guys are having this conversation. No, but when I said that there were 500 cyclops, I mean in all of the lands, in all the lands everywhere, not Yon.

Yes, there were considerably fewer than 500,000 in Yon. I can't imagine even not a prison of all. There were at least 256 cyclopes in the world at any given time. How do you know that? Let's assume that there's only one. It's a number I just made up.

And with that, you make your wet, yeah. Oh, I was just gonna say, do I know, or would I know if my dirigible has the ability to move between the phases of Prismere? Like to get to the thither? You, I would say from what you read about the derigible itself and the fact that it's made from, it's made from a mount that is native to each of the,

each of the regions that you have, you don't know 100%, but you feel confident that you will be able to fly over the corners. And it is having that realization that you maneuver your way out of the entrance to Brighanak Mines and you make your way

into the gully between the two mountains that separates Brighanak Mines from the mountain that ends in the plateau of the corns. and you begin to fly and you realize that the sky has already lighted. The clouds have significantly lessened, and the rumbling of thunder has decreased. The lightning strikes are practically non-existent for now.

And yet, there is a rumbling. You hear the sound and you wait for the lightning to strike, but it never comes, as you begin to ascend higher and higher up out of this gully, and you begin to sail high above yon. And as you look out, you can see that the corids are marching down the mountain, heading towards Motherhorn. You can see Brighanox peeking out of caves that docked the entire mountain that they live beneath as they are making their way,

not just through the tunnel inside, but also making their way to join to join the Chorids. I need to change this music. I forgot to change the music. That's why I'm so distracted right now. This is too serious. This is too serious. That's not even the one that I want.

It's a serious time of us. But you see that some of the Brigginox are even joining forces with the Chorids, and they seem to, it's tenuous at first. You see that they're, little agitated with each other, but very quickly they begin to meld together and march forward as a unit towards Motherhorn. And all the while, that same rumbling as you look at the skies for storm clouds that could be housing the lightning that is obviously preparing to strike.

When you begin to see boulders move, the ground itself begins to shake as you see one, two, three. Cyclops begin to make their way out of the ground. begin to head towards Motherhorn. You watch as a very small army, maybe 30 cyclops, but considering their size, that's going to do significant damage. As you turn to look and you see that marching forward

from the top of the mountain where you had had your meeting with Omnipur, you see a large, what it first looks like a storm cloud, but you realize is a mass of bumblebees. And marching in the front of them, is the cyclops you never truly got to meet, but sitting atop his shoulder as omnipore with his rapier held high,

as Polonella flies in front of them, as they too begin to march towards Motherhorn. And as you look over this land, you realize that you have done it. You were able to successfully start a rebellion. And as all of your allies, all of your newfound friends begin to march on one of the hags, you know that you only have two more left.

Gideon as you turn the flying circus towards thither and you crank up the accelerator and you speed towards the boundary. You are moving slow at first, but as the wind begins to whip past you, the direction of the wind is in your favor as you move very comfortably along the wind and you find yourself sailing straight towards thither. And as you hit the boundary, there is a jolt for a second, but you are able to slide straight through it as it seems to recognize the rocking horse at the very front of the dirigible and allow you entrance. Immediately, the air around you warms. And it's not warm, but it's not as cold as the frigid air of yon. The air of The air itself feels, or smells a bit loamy.

The fertile lands of the forest beneath you, the scent is billowing up, even up here, as you are flying high over the thick copse of trees in front of you. I had to do it. And from here, it's actually difficult to know where you want to go. The tree line is so, is so thick up here that it's hard to see anything that would be on the forest floor.

And you imagine you're going to have to find a way to sink down beneath the canopy and maneuver your way through the myriad of trees that line this forest if you're going to find anything that you're looking for. The only thing that you can see from up here is one small depression in the very center of this place where clearly loom-lurch, the largest tree in all of thither, had fallen many, many, many years ago. Now we're going to find them in this, kid. Well, I think I could make the thing small again.

I could bring this flying circus small and get beneath the canopy and fly around a little bit. Mad Jesus. I totally forgot about that, man. That was probably like two hours ago. Money, I shrunk the party. Here we go.

Wait, you have to drink us too? Oh, shit, the other button, the other button. Gileon Jor. Sing, not Gileon Jor, not Gile and Jor. What is the Jabber walkers around here? Ah! A bird flies. What's the-

Some kind of bird cat? It's a Carl bird. It's a Carl, oh, no, no! Oh. Oh. Uh, yeah. No, it was a Stephen, uh, Stevens Eagle, actually.

Oh, goodbye, Stephen. Oh, it's me Gricka. Remember me? Steven. Oh, that's another time. As the Stevens Eagle flies away, you are able to shrink the jurisdible and yourselves and fly down below the canopy.

Not slink again. And be able to start moving throughout the trees. Everything looks much as you left it. You eventually find your way towards the path that you remember runs straight from hither into thither and eventually branches off one leading towards Little Oak where you remember the children to have last been before you sent them off into the forest

in a, in a, why can't I remember the name of that movie, or movie that book, the one where the kids eat themselves? Lord of the Flies sort of situation. In the Lord of the Flies sort of situation. It's more each other than themselves. We need each other. Yes, you remember that this path veers off one path taking you towards loom lurch

and the other one taking you towards Little Oak. And probably the best place for you to locate the children. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Why don't we go back to where we fought the only and we can retrace our steps? I think that they went into the forest, maybe to the southeast. I mean, that was how many days ago. But they are kids.

I don't think they could have gotten very far, especially if they're traveling with that fat hog. Did I kill him? I can't remember if we cooked up fat hog. I feel like you killed it. Now, we don't talk about fat hog. There's definitely a bacon incident. There's a lot of angry typhan if you talk about that.

I think we should just move out. We don't talk about fat hog. Angry tank, man. All right, well, yeah, Fat Hog was an emotional one. What did that possibly mean? Uh, yeah, I mean, that's as good a way to start as any, Kremlin. I'll swing it over there and see what we find. What if they've become like wild-hearted cannibals?

Good. Well, that's probably real long. Yeah, that's the vicious killers. Are we like Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers airship size right now? Yeah, absolutely. I wasn't sure how small we got. I think, I think. I think that's the perfect, that's a perfect visual description.

And so because of your size, it is going to take significantly longer to get there. Oh, yeah. You have to travel. But you imagine that at this pace, you'll be there in roughly an hour. Okay. Well, let's tell me do for now. I'm swishing on. Swear to God, Frost.

Don't you say it. I'm not saying anything. Don't you say it. I wouldn't say a thing. Whatever you suggest, Frost, your chairs over there. I see that installed special for you. I'm gonna organize my pack. I hear that one more tap.

I'm gonna leave it. Okay, Hoosie Fy. I'll learn how to play this game. Okay, wait, so there's elephants and catapults and the dragon piece is the strongest piece. But if the catapult takes out the dragon, and there's large horse and small horse. What are you talking about?

Oh, I have to learn this game. I have to take interest in my daughter's husband. hobbies. Um, do you guys want to play a game with me since we haven't hung out a long time? Yes. Do you want to play hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry Hymboes? Dormack, you know, I don't get used to some distraction. Oh, that's awesome.

Oh, cool, this is the addition with five imboes. Sorry, Frost. I'm just too. It's fine, he's organizing his bag. All right. So what do we do? So what do we do? How does it work?

How do you play the game? I'm going to open the box, and so here's a hymbo, and here's a hymbo, and here's a hymbo, and here's a hymbo, and then here's a hymbo. Talking about fat hugs. Good night. No, you can watch. Okay, so. So you can take my plays. I'm going to learn how to play this game.

No, no, no, no, no. Oh. Oh, Frozen, you can take my place. No. No, no, no, no. Which way we're gonna crash. You have to let the Super Bowl. We're gonna crash into a tribute.

I'll fly, I'll fly. No, you can't fly. How dare you suggest you can touch another man's ship? All I have to do is turn this to the left or the right. Get your grubby paws off the wheel right now. Okay, get them all. Get them all. I can use my mind to hand.

No, don't touch with your mind hand. That's arguably dirtier. I know exactly where that's been, and I've never seen you wash it. That's fair. I don't know. himbo's back and you're not going to put cake in them kick into the hembo yeah because see look it's all you see one get in two yes did you have this custom made what no it's the cake chat edition when did you have time to have this custom

made I didn't have it custom made I don't remember selling a license to cake chat anybody I was gonna say mr. Crumby would know about this if this was legal I should be earning royalties from my think technically I'm It's a product of Wichlet Entertainment. I think I won it from the Carville, man. I don't think we own K-Jet. Yeah, generally you sign over your likingness to be photographed when you enter competitions like that. Do you remember what you signed when you entered that contest?

I thought it was just signing something that said I could definitely eat the most cake. Rookie mistake, get it. I'll never read where I sign, man. That's why I normally don't sign things. It's so fun, too, because whichever one of the Mibos is. eats the most cake is the cake chad. What kind of distribution deal did that get? Do they get out of one of they selling this?

Yeah, I spent so much money in Femmart the last time I was there. I even got Cake Chad socks and she picks up her feet and you see the cake Chad socks. I made more than a hundred thousand gold doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jordan Fats, you would have eliminated your day. We had the license. If we had done hungry, hungry, Hempos, we could be dead free of.

We can give up on all this nonsense. And now we have to start rebellion. Oh, man. Oh, right. Let's kill some hags. The tree of freedom is watered with the blood of dictators. A tonnors. I love a nightmare.

Oh, right. The next time that you're not flying the airship and we can play hungry, hungry imbos, I'll bring it back out. And Torbuck just wants to say, Mr. Cremi, this is what you get for not making Torbeck your head of business development. Look, Tollbeck. I mean, I trust in Colin. I didn't know that he was gonna turn into some crazy fucking vampire. Oh yeah! Who was the name of that clown?

Curly! Turley! Torrey, yeah. That's like, yeah. That's crazy! Oh yeah, Colin was actually secretly a vampire on him and Curley disappeared. Yeah!

And it started to stink around the haunted house. You guys on the bottom of that? Yeah, he was rotten in the floorboards. Yeah, we, we, we know. And Colin feasted upon Curley's blood and then stuffed him in the floorboard. Good night. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't see that, Colin.

That guy's name was pronounced Colin? Yeah. I was way up. Anyway. Oh, man, poor curly. I got to read a contract closer next time. Anyway, I guess... His imaginary wharf was always so nice to me.

Oh, yeah, what was the name? I don't know. A wuga, a wuga or something. I do miss that haunted house attraction. I think that was your finest word did. Yeah. You know, really well. What happened in the haunted house?

Turned down. Yeah. Like, was that part of the attraction or like an oopsie? Well, I made it part of the attraction before about three and a half hours. And then I had to take all the proceeds and pay off some fame. Did anybody die? I remember, I mean, exclaiming it,

he was hyping the crowd up saying, feast your eyes on the flaming haunted house. Some say that you can still hear the, screams of the family inside. I mean, aside from the faulty electrical, there's only one other problems that they had to ignore change. I've never got to fix it.

Cremie had a really good argument to the family that because it was a dark ride, there was no way to tell that they did not die of heart attacks from their very unhealthy lifestyles before the fire started. That's exactly. There was no way to tell

that they weren't already dead when they burned. Now, that's good thinking. Yeah, I remember that. What did it smell like? I mean, it was not good. Ew. It was going to move on.

Well, it only smelled delicious because we put, I don't know why, we put the haunted house rutting in the funnel cake. And if it was actually a grease fire, we started the fire in the hardhouse. Have you ever had fainal cake? Yeah. Yeah, we did actually, yeah.

We did for the first time. Yeah. It's delicious. I think it's just funnel cake with drugs. It's like you make anything say. anything fake. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna remember that. I think that's the main lesson I'm taking away from this whole adventure. Yeah. Careful what you eat. Careful what you put in your mouth. Yeah, and sell more drugs.

Yeah. You know, you always think that fatal cake is gonna be just hyped up and not much better from regular file of cake. Yeah. That's good, that's all. That's all. That's all.

That's all. Oh, man. That's very funny. Not gonna beat that. Oh, it's very funny. Oh, but that's yet food, okay. Oh. That was delicious.

Oh. I think I just got the joke. I'm sorry? I just got the joke. I was like, I don't understand. All he said, oh. Oh. We have 18 minutes to kill.

minutes to kill. Yeah. Yeah. With any luck, Annie Landhot is gonna burst through that tree right? We'll just swat us out of the sky. I'm done organizing my pack. Perhaps we can play hungry, hungry hymbo. Depends on how long it takes.

Oh, no. I'm misplaced a hymbo. It's right there. I see it on your left. Oh, that's from version two. Is it all compatible? No. No. Backwards.

We can't play version two? No. Oh. We carry on an awkward silence. Yeah. Nobody speaks. Nobody speaks until we reach the tree. Just the spinning of the bell in the creek New York show.

And with the awkward silence looming over all of you, you make your way into the outcropping surrounding Little Oak. It is eerily quiet here. You don't hear the sounds of, of birds in the trees. You don't hear the skittering of animals in the foliage below. All you hear is the sound of one of the lone swings

rocking back and forth of the now completely destroyed corpse of what had been Little Oak. Oh, God. Oh, that's right. Oh, they don't even think about it. That was a guy. That was a dude. He was sent him.

Oh, my lie. This is like his corpse. Yeah, we should have burned the last time. I think we already said some words about him. No, we did, we did. Let's just get set him on five. Yeah, that's tough, buddy. That's tough, buddy.

He was already on five. He's like a smoldering, not smoldering anymore, but just the burnt husk of what had been a trait. Oh, yeah. Yeah, burn him again. If you, are you trying to move in that clue? You're at the very back. of this giant.

Yeah, we'll move in, just in case I gotta burn them twice. As you move in with your intention to burn the tree again, you immediately hear, get them! And you begin to be pelting, pelted with rocks.

As you, a large rock hits you, you see the heads of children in painted masks pop up over the burnt siding of what had been their tree house home as they let loose these slingshots of rocks. directly at you. Emerald Battlestations are fired back. Your rocks are enormous compared to us.

The ship can't take it. That's a good point. Are we still small? We're still small. Oh, Spade-up! Oh, I can. You smears the kids all over and the place. Yeah, you and that, there's not enough room here for you to safely

increase the size. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I don't want to as much. Whoa. Um. Find a place to land quickly. All right. You can get the safety.

Roll a dexterity saving, a group dexterity saving throw for me, please. Oh, I need a dike. Oh, natural 20. Man, he's best. Oh, come on. Can somebody pass me dice? Because once again, I didn't,

I don't have them so much light. Actually, Andy, can you pass me down my iris dice? No, I want my iris fine. Yep, that's the one. Give me. Thank you. 18. Are we doing a saving throw?

Yeah, it's dexterity. Look. Oh, yeah, 18. That's really, really, really, ACDC is an Australian hard rock band. That's actually true. I don't know if you knew this. That's true.

Don't forget it. Okay, so we've got a natural 20, we've got an 18, we've got a 24. 17. 17. 18. Oh. The only one that matters.

The only one that matters. But as you are panicking and trying to maneuver this thing as you're being pelted by rock after rock after rock, after rock after rock. The rest of the crew is easily able to assist you and take charge with you and help you to navigate, telling you move this way, move that way. Cremi rubs your shoulders to let out some of the knots

so that you're not so tense. As you, I got brummy, not now. What the hell, man? You know, as he isn't helping? We're not an airborne missiles. How do you see, goosey-goose you feel? What in the hell are you doing? Dodge left.

As you are able to make you As you're able to make your way into what looked like a small perch where maybe they would have mail delivered to them via bird. It's completely charred over now, but it's almost like a small little birdhouse alcove on the side of this now burnt tree corpse. And you're able to slide your way into this, the sides of it protecting you from the children

as you were able to essentially dock the dirigible here. You hear the sounds of children running around. Did you see where they went? Where did they go? Oh, we'll find them. Into the forest. And you see that some of them begin marching into the forest in a rough estimation of where you aimed towards the tree,

but back behind where you landed, whereas some of them are still looking around. You can hear them beneath you, looking on the ground, looking through the bushes, trying to find the dirigible that entered their lair. Well, this could be the end. We may be consumed by massive, giant, cannibal children.

We're just small, Frosty. These are normal-sized children. Yeah, well, they're massive compared to us. Well, should I hit the button and expand them? Expanderate and then just debliterate them all? Can you just expand us? Because if you expand this ship, I worry that it'll be crushed underneath the canopy. I think if you just jump off, you go back to normal size.

Is that true? I try to jump back. You attempt to jump out, and you do see that in mid-air, similar to what happened at Obed's Grotto, the moment that you get off of the dirigible, you immediately start to grow to your size and you're able to quickly jump out of the nest so as not to completely destroy the dri-rigible under your immense growth. Torbeck, it's up to you, talk to them! The moment that I like am full-size and like, You immediately fall to the ground

in, surrounded by these children. You begin to do this. Roll an intimidation check. Oh my God. Let's twist it until it's good. Okay, let me get one. We'll get one. How many times we have?

20. Oh, natural 20. 21 intimidation. At first, all of these children pull out these handmade spears and they all begin to aim them at you as they start to move in on you as if they're going to skewer you. But the moment you begin to turn towards them

and your innate boogeyman energy comes out, you bear your teeth, you growl, you slobber, you immediately see their faces, which have been hardened by this life that they've been living since you left. You watch as their faces fall and their eyes start to water, as their lips begin to tremble and they all dream. drop their spears and start to back up. Oh, he's gonna kill.

And they all start running in random directions. Some off into the forest. Some up into the tree house. As you see them peering over and you can hear the gentle sniffling of about, you know, 15 children. It's okay. Dore was just saying hi. And the rest of you are still tiny inside of the driven.

I'm following. I'll jump out behind Gregor. All right, let's get. Guys, this is. Well, I'm trying to get up again. Gramey. Mom on the task, man. I'm just trying to help.

We have to recruit all these kids to turn into an uprising. Fine, we'll see what happens next time you ask me for a massage. I'll fly to dirigible. So is this tree like open? You said it was in a tree house. Is this open? It's been burnt down? So it's, it's like collapsed.

At this point, so what you can see is it looks like, though the tree itself, what had been the, the trient, essentially. That is dead. There is new growth growing up around it. For what dies here, the forest reclaimed. And so you see that there is verdant life growing up and through a broken treehouse. This is, this does not look.

This would not be livable to most people, but to children, they have found a way to piece it together. They've taken vines and mented the floorboards. They've put up new walls. It looks rough. and the tree it's on does not look stable. It looks like one strong wind is going to blow the remnants of most of this tree to ash.

But they have somehow, with their tiny forms, been able to live here and reclaim this space. Okay. You, however, don't imagine that you would be able to climb into the treehouse proper at your full sizes. You would be much too big and it would damage the structure. Got it.

But from where you're at outside, you can see that some of them are peeking over one of the newly crafted walls. And you see that many of them, you see little eyes peeking out of the underbrush surrounding you in the forest. And all of them are watching. You hear them mumbling to each other. But none of them are making any effort to move towards you. I will say you can hear one of them loud enough say, isn't that them? Aren't they the ones that? Yeah, yeah, no, I think that's them.

I think that's them. Yeah, we're not gonna hurt you. Torbeck didn't mean to scare everybody. You can come out. Torbeck's not gonna hurt anyone. We're all right. We're friends. I will handle it.

And then you immediately see down a, down one rope. A small girl, a girl who you remember, Mishka, make her way down the rope. She is covered in plant life and haphazard bits of clothing that she is stitched together to make her battleware. She's got a shield of a broken piece of wood, and she's got a small sword that she has created, that has a fish hook attached to the end of it

that makes it look almost more menacing, even though it doesn't look like it was put together very well. As she slings it over her back, and she makes her way towards you. How do I know that it's you? tell me one thing that only I would know and that you would know. That is something I would know and you would know.

That's not the thing, though. Oh. What best waters the tree of freedom? What? I'm asking the questions around here. No, I'm asking the questions around here. That was a guy what died earlier. I put in the tree.

Ready your crossbones. You watch as they already their slingshots. You watch as they already their slingshot. He's doing great. He's doing great. Be cool. Hold on, hold on. I think we might have imposter.

I have one question for you. Why? But I'm asking the questions. Why do the monkey fall out of the tree? That's a good question. And why did the bread also fall out of the tree? Enough of bread? Because-

And what's a staple? It's like the metal things and it's vended and then it's in them. It's like spice. Yeah! She rushes over and she gives each of you a hug. What are you doing here? We're starting trouble. Yeah.

We're stoking the flames of rebellion. You seem to have been training nonstop. We're screening nonstop, gathering XP in this forest. We've been starting a lot of trouble too. Oh, wow, really? Have you all become, like, cannibals and stuff? Like, none of us are monkeys or dogs or anything. Oh.

That doesn't prohibit the cannibalism. No, no. You can still cannibalize as a child. Well, will are whales cannibals? If they eat themselves, yes. Hmm? Easy child, they're not themselves. mouths.

Yeah, no. No, no. They don't have anything to do with what you are, just so that you're eating at your job, you know? A lot of fish eat each other, but whales are mammals. They give birth and they produce milk. A lot of birth when they produce milk. Yeah. Well, that's common knowledge, I mean.

I think that one of us is really confused on what the cannibal is. It's one of those melons. You know? They always have it in a continental breakfast. or breakfast. You know what I mean? Hmm. Actually, I don't remember one of cannibalism.

I think you're thinking of cantalope. You guys are holding up nice. How many kids do you lose? Um, no, we haven't lost. Well, no, a single one? No, that's not completely true. We lost Jimmy. Oh.

Oh, what happened to Jimmy? I take my hat off. Oh, he might be okay, but you know that Albert that you left with us? Oh, Juniper. She was just... Yeah, no, she's not here anymore because she went back to the Albears

because apparently she got like this message from the Albers that was like, you must return to us. We're having like some kind of super secret albert meeting. Yes. And he's in the forest and it's happening. And then Jimmy was like, well, I can't want to go.

So he followed after her and like maybe she was nice while she was here or maybe she ate him the moment. No, he's definitely alive. When did that happen? Was this like days ago? Most of been. I mean, it was only a few days ago that we left this show.

Yeah, it wasn't so long ago, but it was also, it felt like, a long time ago, because he was the person that would go to the well and get all the water for us, and so now we've just not, we've just been drinking like dirty water. Aren't our best carnivorous, Grego? Oh, yes, we wouldn't hurt a fly unless he deemed this prey. Well, you know, to be fair, Jimmy was kind of prey-coded because he was weak and kind of pathetic.

prank. He's tough. What is that even mean? Well, we all had a meeting, and we were like, if we have to kill someone and eat them, Jimmy's going to be the one to die first. So he can even draw the short straw. He just chose.

Well, it was kind of an obvious choice. Did he lose just? Generally, any man under 200 pounds. Do you even give him a chance to hold the show? Oh, no, we didn't. We didn't tell him about it? They're all kids. They're all great-out, didn't you? No, we didn't even.

tell him about it because we were afraid he was going to run. Well, I mean, as long as, so our bears, you know, they're both part our and part bear. And bears, we know that bears very love like a smack roll of honey. So as long as he wasn't carrying a pot of honey that he spilled all over his legs. And then said, oh, no, I've got honey all over my legs. Then I don't think that Juniper would have really marked him as prey, I don't think. My knowledge of beasties being what it is. I don't know.

I mean, I can't imagine, like, no, he wouldn't have to, hold on. And she goes over to a wicker basket. She's like, the only honey that we had was in, our honey is missing! Oh, no, he's down. Oh, no, he took the honey. Jimmy, we knew you almost. Well, at least our bed will be well-fed,

ready for a fight, right? Oh, yes. What a treasured is. Silver wine. No, but outside of Jimmy, we've actually gotten a lot more to our ranks because we snuck to the goblin market and we found Chockelhead,

goblins, he gave us a bunch of candy, and then we promised we could cure his curse, and so he came back with us. And then he helped us convince the goblins to start coming out, and every time they did, they stole some children and brought them with. So now we have a lot more children, and we have goblins, and we have jucklehead. How do you guys feel about fighting and rebellion and taking up arms and killing things? The socklops is. How do you guys feel about socklops? Yeah, are you afraid of those things? Well, I'm not afraid of them

Because I've never seen one before But I do like But I do like to kill You like to kill? A lot At first the blood on my hands Made me a little nervous And kind of squeamish

Because it was like warm But now it's comfortable and cozy Yeah, I mean the first time It's always the hardest, right guys? Well, the time has come The day is now Rebellion We march on a

Gloombego Blue Moomurch Lulmurch. It's nowhere. Lomwich is like definitely the worst place of all. You can free all of your kid friends. We've freed most of them already, so I don't know if we need to do that, but also.

But you know, it means that you know who has to die worst of all. That really stinky pile of refuse out back? You win. No, scarecifer. Oh, yeah, no. We could, but see, she's got like, an army of toy soldiers, though.

And like, we're just small children. And goblins. I think, unfortunately, as much as we like to do the killing, I don't think we want to be the killed. So unless you happen to have like more of an army than just us, we are going to stay here. We can barely all those goblins. Oh, the alvesh.

The alves are killing machines. Even hootsie. And who's like, I could convince you. I could convince, I think I could convince the goblins to join us if the owl bears were like, Toots in. Hey, and I, hey, we're talking. Me and Tobeck are talking to goblins. I can speak to her.

It's probably for the best that you don't. So I'll go ahead and do that for you. But, like, if you could convince the, if you could convince the owl bears and if you had a way to, you know, you mentioned the cyclops, if you could get the cop's clubs to. to be able to help you then, I think. That would be enough for us to be willing to fight. You're already communicating. The cops, cops, cops is already on our side. Really, I don't hear the sound of rumbles.

Oh, that's how they get you. You don't hear of time? They allegedly exist. Yeah, the cops' cops. All right, let's go find those out beds. Good luck with the rebellion. Oh. Oh, you're just going to leave?

Make sure to kill the bag. We're not going to have like a duel to the death to see like which one of us is. superior in those strength and intelligence? Look, you guys haven't even like developed empathy yet. So just go and tear everything you see to pieces, murder. Well, how will we know when we're good to march on the horrible fitted beast you in? Probably as soon as we hear all the owl bears mobilizing and the alleged cops clops.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So we will wait for that and then we march? Yeah. And then you destroy it. They took down Little Oak, so we need to get rid of Loomelutch. Do what they did to Little Oak to Loomelage. Well, to be fair, Little Oak kind of turned on all of us and was like fighting alongside, you know.

We lived in the Fay Wild, so... Look, you'll feel it in your hers, a brown with heart. We really love living in the bones of his destruction. Oh. Oh, I see, no answer. Holy spirit. Well, remember, the tree, forget about this tree, forget about that tree, what matters

is the tree of liberty. Its roots are best watered with the blood of tyrants and blame us drink deep for our children. Yeah, sure, but if we're going to do this, do you think you could tell me a joke first? Oh. Like a funny one though, because like if I don't laugh, then it wasn't a joke.

I always have got good jokes. Let me go into my mind balance. Sure, someone has a joke. That's what the airship warmed up. Yeah, I'll go. I'll spin the key. I'll go get the... Good luck.

Just let instinct be good at the... Yeah, yeah. Be savage and full of fury. Goodbye. Tohoo. Ooh. I was like stepping in the airship by saying, Man, those kids are the real monsters.

Mishka, what do you call a fish with no eyes? Is this a joke or a quiz? It's a joke. But I don't know the answer. That's how jokes work. The punchline will reveal the answer. That's not how they work. You're supposed to say something.

It's supposed to be funny. I'm supposed to go, ah, ha, ha. And sometimes jokes start with a setup, like a question or a prompt, and then the joke arrives. Yeah, but it's got to be like clear. It's a joke, like that's just a question. What do you call a fish with no eyes, Mishka? I would call him Herbert.

Well, the answer and the punchline is, Shh. That's also the kids that sounded opening up a can. That was really good. Derek, that's really good. Did you enjoy that joke? I did laugh, so I think that, I do think that that would count.

The guy of the universe left. So. All right. Oh, gosh. So you're on our side. And you'll murder for us. Yeah, no, I will murder for you for sure. Excellent.

Just like once there's backup, because we're very powerful and very cool, but we need a little backup. Follow the charge of the cops, clops, and our beers, and we, on the dawn, it's not the third day, but much before that, and there'll be a bunch of stuff, And then you will know.

All right. Okay. Fairly well. And if you survive this terrible battle, I will tell you another joke. What joke are going to tell me? I can't tell you until you survive the battle. You can tell me what the joke is. I got one.

Yeah. I got one. What did the one dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when the media struck the planet? A meteor struck the planet? Yeah. What happened? But the meteor struck the planet. Well, the only one we could save the day

with the power of Holy and Dio was stabbed through the back. What? It was very sad. There's no one less... Dale died? Well, she died. It was very sad. She got put into the water, though, or something. Oh.

Oh, anyway, nothing. Dinosaur dinosaurs can't talk. Goodbye. Goodbye. And with that, you have somehow rallied the children as you make your way back up to the dirigible and you find yourselves tiny again as you're climbing, as you touch the rope ladder, you shrink down and you're able to climb into it

and begin preparations to head towards, you didn't even find out where the owl bear moot was going to be, but you know what's happening. Sorry, guys, I found this trail of honey that then turns into a trail of blood, so I think we're gonna find out there. Come on, man. Keep on the trip.

We're going to be there. Holy shit, it's right over there. Oh, we found it. We find the kid's wallet. She made honey legs. That's unfortunate. I thought his last name was John. Wait a minute.

We haven't. I found an empty bread bag, a stapler. And I... Huh. I love. I wanted to get you for a real fucking sicko. Real fucking sicko. Anyway, we follow the trail of honeyblood and carnage

to the owl bear meat. In your tiny form, it takes you, it takes you a couple of hours, but you are eventually able, you are listening and you, the amount of time that you spent with Hootsie, you can hear, you recognize the sound of owl bears immediately. And it takes you a couple of

of hours, the moment you hear the sounds of the owl bears trilling back and forth, you are immediately able to hone in on their location and you fly deeper into the forest. You actually imagine you're getting closer to wear frost shit in the water outside of the Unicorn Pen or the Unicorn Island. But not quite there just on the outskirts of it. As you make your way to a small clearing in the trees where you see what appear to be about about 15 or so Albear, all adult Albear. And I would say looking in, you see Juniper.

She's still wearing the raindments that she had from when she was the steed on what was very clearly a member of Royal Society. I scan for Jimmy. Roll a perception check. Hey, Twig. You want to hear a joke? Yeah. What do you call a cow?

with two legs. A cow with two legs? Yeah. Cows have two legs, right? No, no, they have four legs. What do you call a cow with two legs? Well, yeah, but you have to, you have to have two legs.

Yes, but what do you call a cow with only two legs? Well, you should have said the only. Yeah, well, what do you call a cow with only two legs? Um, what about a cow with two legs and two arms? If I can come pow into the fish. What would I call a cow with two legs? I got a 18 on my perception check

and then Frost spoils the punchline and says lean beef huh lean beef is the answer to the joke why would you name a cow that because it has two legs that can only lean why

oh two legs on oh I was thinking at the front two but you're saying like it's two rat legs into that back to the cow. Really, really any of the legs in any combination. Unless it's at a diagonal. I've never seen a cow, Mr. Grimmy? No, I have, but I just feel like you just stand up, you know?

Yeah. I was thinking it's just like a cow in a cut somehow. Why can't you stand on his head? I didn't get why the two legs would get them there, but him leaning over now makes more crazy. I think I would call it Maddox. Maddox is the name of the cow with only two legs? Yeah.

That's your choice. Get out there, Grego. I can do you skating the ground. You look around and you see Nova Sign of a child. Okay, Hootie? Hootie, come on. Okay, no, no, I know. I know it's great to see me.

I'm so glad you're happy to see all you and all your uncles. You immediately got back, I feel like you should have spent more time with us. Now there's nice games. I know you can slice that fruit later. Okay. There you go. I know those dingoes are quite charming with a little funny little accents. Okay, you know, that's okay.

The uncles are on an adventure. We're saving the world or something. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. And then there's it, okay. Take it.

There's a lesson. You got to share or something. All right. Dingoes are so happy. Okay. Do it. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. See, we've talked about this potentiality that our martin need to rally a entire group of al-bears into being blood-firsty freedom fathers that don't eat us, but eat tyrants

and all those that would put their steel-toed boots on the fronts of the innocent. Our day has finally come. I know that we've worn our hats crafted out of thin sheet metal before, but this is really that we've gone into the bunker. But now is the time. The end is really here.

Hoochie, you gotta. I believe in you. Can you do it for me, Hooch? Can you translate and give a rousing, hooting speech? That's good enough. Just think about the lesson from that show where they ate the fruit salad or something.

I don't remember. Okay. I will go with Tootsie to try to like find the owl bears and rally at them. Mr. Krami? Yeah, yeah. Can't you just talk to the owl bears directly? Well, given that, their bloodthirsty predators and beasts of the wild,

I don't think they can just normally understand the goblin tongue, common or otherwise. I thought Gricko was special. Oh, he's certainly special, but I don't know if he's special in that way, Joe Begg. Okay, whatever you say, Mr. Kramm. But what the fuck do I know about Albao's stormback? You descend, and as you leap from the rope ladder from the base of the dirigible, your size begins to increase as you land right at the very fringes of the Albear moot. Okay. They do seem to be alerted to your presence, and at first, a handful of them bristle, but you hear a cool.

from the back of the moot, and you immediately see as Juniper begins to move forward. And as she does, all of the owl bears begin to kneel in reverence to her. As she begins to move forward, they part and make way. As she moves directly towards you, and she begins to coo and hoot at Hootsie and at you. Okay. Hootsie, I know that you can do this.

I won't jump in and help you unless you need it. Let me look back, look back at it. me and give me the signal, give me the signal if you need me to help, but I know that you can do this, you don't need me to do this. Okay, Hootsie, explain to them how important it is to not stand utterly by when Tyrus tightened their grasp around the rights of the people whom they're responsible towards. Hootsey looks back at you a little nervously, but she eventually moves forward. She is so significantly small in comparison to the owl bears in this clade. They are at their full stature. And not even just that, they almost seem like they're a little

larger than even the adult owl bears that you knew back on the material plane. Something about these, they are large. As Hootsie moves forward and she watched, she kneel. She kneel. a little bit in front of Juniper. And Juniper raises one of her paws and kind of lifts her up. And they begin to hoot and coo back and forth to each other. You can understand everything hoots he says, correct? Unless I don't think so, unless it's like cats meet with animals.

Okay. So you just hear hooting and cooing. At one point, you watch is Juniper raises her head towards the sky and begins to let out this loud, almost painful warbling cry. The rest of the, yeah, it's very chewy coated. The rest of the owl bears rear back almost in fear. And then they continue to look on.

The way that they move, it looks as if the owl bears around are shocked and then in awe and then surprised and then angry. It's just a fluctuating wave of emotions. But Hootsie, actually roll for Hootsey. Roll a persuasion check. At advantage because she has a relationship. relationship with Juniper. Did anyone else think that sounded like

Jubyaka stuck? No, I'm gonna use a twist. Stuck and wood, to me. Stuck and wood, just stuck. I'm using another twist. Oh, like he's frustrating. And he can't get that. Perhaps.

From a certain point of view. 16. Okay. All the while, Tootsie seems to be unflappable, as occasionally she'll look at you almost as if to say, am I doing all right, Dad? A constitutional republic, exactly right.

And she'll... Union of beast and bear and beast and bird. She'll nod at you and then turn back. And it takes a good 40 minutes of this communication back and forth before you see his hootsey nods down one more time towards Jupiter, or Jupiter, Juniper. And then you watch as Juniper leans down. and pecks at Hootsie a little bit affectionately,

cooing into her, before turning, and then once again throwing her head back and letting out these loud, warbling sounds. All of the owl bears around her begin to move into formation and march towards the edge of the forest. And as they get towards the edge of this grove, you see as Juniper turns and looks back towards Hootze

with a soft little coo. And then towards you, she makes eye contact with you, you can see a sense of appreciation. You freed her. She looks up towards the gerigible, and though an owl bear can't smile, you imagine if they could, she'd be doing that now as she looks up towards you.

And then she holds her head high as she marches the owl bears towards Bavlora. Or not Bavora. Death to Scabifah! Deft of Scabafa! Diffa! Nice job! Gringo, you did it!

I'm so proud. Hootie, you did it. I'm so proud of you, Hootie, come on. I knew my homeschooling political science degree junior would do great. Oh, come here, Hootie. And I'm gonna give her a big old hug. And are I think marching to war?

It's like the- It looks like it, yeah. The last life of the Entz place by Howard Shore. Definitive, con. I mean, you know, it's not like she could say to you, but for all intents and purposes, if Albears were marching to war, this is what it would look like.

You know who'd see? I could have turned into an owl bear at any time and spoken to them, but I know I didn't need to because I trusted me little girl. You know who'd see? Once they kind of like take over and they make a whole kingdom of owl bears, this would be like the perfect place for an owl bear

to like be and be amongst their own kind and kind of live in the woods and have a nice time. But, they don't have fly pads and see cucumber robber, and rectangle trousers pop-serves. Let's go. She cooes into you and nips at you a little bit. And I need you to roll a perception check.

I like that this episode and last episode is just a, like, a rink to cram every reference of every other episode we've ever done into some awesome time as we can do. 24. Back to back bottle. You, as she's cooing into you and nuzzling into you, Oh, that's my girl.

I know you can do it. You hear off in the distance, not where Juniper and the army of Albears had went, but from all reaches of thither, that same warbling cry that Juniper called out, the owl bears all over thither, not just the ones in this grove are marching. Who did you successfully inside a rebellion?

Without my help, I knew, gosh, I have the smartest and most politically savvy girl in the whole ding-down wide world. That Polly Zai education is really coming in Andrew. It really is. Oh, if only Neil could see me now. I can't wait until I tell Mom, she's going to be so proud of you, Hootsey. She's going to make you an extra pie with some studios. Golly-Kalukule.

Let's go, lads. All right, to the second verbal shot, I guess, right? That was quick. We stirred everything up around here. Oh, hootsy. Nothing. It was on Hootie. Look at him. My guys are kind of like, you Decker flatbed. No sign of Jimmy.

No sign of Jimmy. Oh, well. May he rest in peace. That one albert, Lord was drinking out of a skull. It's pretty small. It is with that that you are able to get back into the dribble and fly up above the canopy. And once above the tree line, you're, you are able to regain your size and you look out over thither and you see exactly what you're hoping to see, that there is a coastline along one of the edges, a small ridge of mountains that

comes down from yon meeting the water. And you imagine that that's exactly where you were told Carpenter's Cove is going to be. And as you turn to make your way there, you begin to hear that same rumbling as the ground beneath the tree line begins to move. And as you look down, you see as tree after tree falls, and you begin to see peaks of what very clearly appear to be cloaks, cyclopes. The coast cloaks. The coast cloves.

The cops clops. The cops clops. The cop clocks are on the move. And as they begin to move throughout Smither making their way towards, making their way towards, why can't I remember what this place is called? Loonerch. Every time I forget what it is, I remember it the second after, making their way towards Lomlurch.

And as some of the trees begin to fall, you're able to see owl bears moving through the trees all beginning, all on their way to accumulate at Lomlurch. then you hear the calls of the warrior children as they jump out of their tree and begin to make their way as well. And you know, though you don't have the same bird's eye view as you had in Yon, that you have incited a rebellion in thither and that the armies are marching on scabatha.

You turn the dirigible towards the carpenter's cove. That's where we'll take a quick break. Hey! Nice. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks,

including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tone for Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies,

like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Now aboard your dirigible with the Carpenter's Cove in sight, you are easily able to head in that direction. You are at your, you're at the maximum, well, you're at the standard size for this dirigible. And so the flight is significantly faster than it had been beneath the tree line. As you sail through the air of thither,

the rebellion raging behind you. You can hear the sounds of this new-formed army making their way towards loomelage as you gently descend to the sands surrounding the rocky cliffside. You fly for about 30 minutes or so along the shoreline before you finally notice the sun glinting off of the sand.

You see what looks like almost gems at first. And as you get lower and lower, you realize that it's not, and the gems look like it's almost a pathway towards the mountainside. But as you get closer and look, you realize they're not gems, but they're shells of mollusks, of clams, of mussels, of wasters. All of them flipped over in the sand and sparkling with an iridescence. And as you follow this pathway, you see that the winding form that it takes

leads directly towards this cliffside. And what is very clearly the mouth of a cave that had you not noticed these shells would have been completely hidden from you. Oh, Sierra has gotta be a walrus found here somewhere. I'm still looking for Jimmy. Oh, he's dead, he's all dead. Yeah, Jimmy's gone man.

Let's hop in it down here and head on in this cave. I mean, the shell pathway that was in the vision, right? Well, it was truly a prophecy. Uncle Globo. Oh, man, he would say. You know what he would say. No, no. I don't even know what he said. You know, that's all about food. He's always talking about prophecies and all that. Oh. No, well, well, no, I mean, those visions were right. You always got meat dreamed after he ate too much meat. You think he's a meat dream? In my band.

Oh, well. We have all shared the same meat drink? Shamed meat dreams. You know, I did up the unduey sausage in my last batch of gumbo. Maybe that's what this all is. And your meat dreams are prophetic? I mean, it seems to be bringing us to the right places, grimmie. Well, they're not my meat dreams.

I mean, they're the gumbos meat dreams. That's the case. Well, it was your choice to put in so much and duly salsa? Yeah, I mean, and if you're the one that made the gumbo, Oh, then you're the one that made the dreams. Torbeck's meat dreams make him wake up all sweaty. That same with Uncle Gloria always say, Oh, right, Grigaud.

You know, if there's a blade, what needs to be four dreams, perhaps it's in station. He was always saying that. He was always saying that. Yeah. He's oddly prophetic. I'm very positive, your Uncle Gloria, Bill. He always had words of wisdom for me.

Well, let's just... Let's proceed into the cove. Into the Walrus Cove. Walrus Cove, yeah. Okay. Does look at we can you walk there to me to swim? No, I mean, it looks like you can walk there. It's on the beach.

So as long as you follow, you are looking down. And if you're not looking for them, the shells can almost easily be masked by the sand. But when you look for them specifically, the way that they shine in the light is this iridescence that catches your eye and you're able to move along this path and follow it around the edge of the cliffside

and into this shadowed area where if you didn't see that trail, you would not have seen that there was an opening there. And you're easily able to follow that path and move into the opening. The opening is covered in hanging bits of seaweed, a little bits of barnacle. And the shells continue in. They're actually more prevalent as you make your way inside this cave,

the pathway becoming almost as if it was intentionally compacted into a shell walkway. And you are able to make your way through this cavern. It is completely dark. There is, there are no source of light. This isn't like the cavern that you were in beneath the mountain in which you had. the wish stones to illuminate your path. It is just darkness ahead of you. All right.

Show us the place. So see what's lacking. As sure as we can be. Shell's brought us this far. Oh, oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. I don't do it. Hold on, hold on.

You know, being in the dark like this, Gideon, Torbeck thinks that Torback's gonna be all right, you know? Yeah. Torbeck's pretty sure that he, He gave Grunda meat dreams and we're all gonna part ways for the better, you know. Oh, did somebody say meat dreams? And you see the sea troll make her way from around the corner.

Oh, it's full. Her body covered in barnacles and seaweed. Oh, wow. Slick with algae. She opens her mouth and her blue tongue flops out and licks her lips as she stares towards you. Maybe the nickname's the walrus. Hey, big boy.

There's no way she's talking to Dormack. You're up, Dorbick is all you, man. In D&D power lines, that's called a scrag. All right, give Torbeck another 59 seconds. All right, I was gonna say, I have to, I'll go first, but I don't. So, okay, well, I'll forgot that I don't.

I'll produce flame and then light the path while Torbeck takes 59 seconds with his age trouble. Let's get this over with. What's your name? Torbeck's name is Torbeck. Oh, they call me Chumda. That's terrific. Let Torbeck stretch first. Let Chumda stretch first.

Whoa. And you're gonna start this out of chapter. Come on. Let's get this over with. I just heard the sound of the Avengers WikiWeep. Hey, he's definitely gonna have to have some highest off of him.

Chumga or chumda? Chumda. Oh, I heard of chumgha. And, uh, Tumda moves you towards, uh, one of the, uh... Take a hit, champ. Take a hit. One of the little, uh, alcoves in the cave and pushes you up against the wall and gives you the old, uh, 20,000 leagues under the sea. Good luck, gentlemen!

Ah! My goodness, Hoochie stayed on the ship. There's a lot of white slopping and swashing I can't tell which one of them is crying Yeah Oh that's it You don't know if it screams of pleasure or fear No, it's torquoise.

Sounds like he may be dying actually God, this looks sounds and smells like What I imagine it to be like in the call of Kufu And after about 59 seconds The sounds quiet and you hear crabs? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. I know I'm asking you want to come back to my place

with some real housewives of thither and some crabs. I'm having a crab boil tonight. Oh, well, you know, Torbex... It's been really lonely in this cave, and I've been looking for a man like you all my life. Torbeck's kind of got plans today. Yeah, with Chumda. No, no, with Torbeck's friends.

Torbeck had some things planned, you know. There's the... Oh, don't do that. That's going to make it hard for that. No, Torbeck's proud again. It sounds exactly like that. Oh, look, it's going to be okay. I can't believe he just used me like that for my body.

Well, that is, you know. You take a beautiful sea troll and you use it like this. You know, I think that there's somebody out there for everybody and it's gonna be okay. Look, you know. And you're that person for me? No. We'll be on this. We're at the shirt.

We're at the shirt. Tourbe thinks you hear somebody calling Dormick's name. Oh, it's still shot. Dormick's got it all. Oh yeah, no, it's probably for the best. I've got a date in 30 minutes. Oh, what? Oh, yeah, yeah, right after Real House Wives of Fither,

I've got my other date tonight. Okay. No, no, no, don't, don't know. Look, it's not me, it's you. Yeah, Torbex shouldn't see this one. D'Rex can we go? It's probably for the best, yeah. Dormick's gonna go, you know.

Dormick's gonna get out of before D'Omberg starts crying. Yeah, if you don't mind just, you know, because I've got things to do. This was a roller coaster. Let D'Urbeck tell you. It was one of the worst 58 seconds of my life. Worst! Yeah, but I mean, at least you're on that list, honey.

Now you're just trying to be hurtful. Oh, I would never. Yeah, you are trying to hurt Doremex feelings. That's low. That's immature. I think Torbeck thinks you should do some introspection. I could show you some introspection, Bendova, buddy. No, Torbeck's leaving.

Can I see anything? Is it like, it's pitch black? It's pitch. It's pitch. I would like you to roll a perception check at disadvantage. Oh my God. That's not bad. My low was a 14 for perception, another plus four.

I got an 18. Okay. You turn around and you begin to walk forward, confidently, and then you realize if you keep going, you're gonna slam into the wall. So you pivot really quickly, and you are able to make your way down the hallway. See you later, honey.

No, Darborough. I can't believe it. Don't worry, you'll find the woman for you someday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna find the rest of the guy. I can't have twice in one day. This is unbelievable. And it doesn't take you, it doesn't

you long before you make your way into the very silent and uncomfortable cavern that your friends are traveling through. He misses the whole shared vision dream. Yeah. We'll never get around the verbal blade before he gets there. What a meat dream. I'm looking around. That was fucking, whoa.

Can you guys believe that just happened? Holy! That's right. It'll never get out. It'll never get out. It'll never get out. You don't know that you're going to get any guy. What a Torback mass.

Oh, no. Torbeck, you were here for this, man. You know, that was like record timing for you, man. I thought you were here the whole time. No, but in all actuality, are you gonna go grab this piece before Torbeck gets there? No.

We'll grab it as he walks in the room. That's so mean. It's so mean. You guys should have done it. He's taking the hits. What's the range of a vision? You would have to, if there was a vision, you would have to pick up the shards for now.

I walk up to it. Torbeck is nowhere in sight. Oh, no. Oh, shit. As you eventually make your way down this long, dark cavern. You can hear the sounds of the sea slapping against the side of the wall. I ain't to see. As you eventually find yourselves in a subterranean cavern.

You step down and your feet are submerged in water as there's this gentle pulsing glove. emanating from half of a giant clam shell on a pedestal in the middle of this room, immediately you're able to tell that this is one of the pieces of the Vorple Blade. And without a second thought, no thought for Torbeck as you hear either him or Chumda crying down the hallway, you rush over and you grab the shard, crabs?

Yeah, he does. Yep. You take 56 points of force damage as, I wish it would, Frosty. I wish it would. Do you? I don't know, you tell me. You took five life forms

to spell the horrible hags curse. You are cursed. Anytime you laugh in real life, but you're gonna, I'm just kidding. Amazing, he'll be dead in seconds. You pick up the shard. One d20 damage would be crazy. You pick up the shard.

As soon as you touch it, as soon as you touch, the second shard of the Vorpal blade, it suddenly radiates, radiates with silver light, which consumes your entire vision, except for Toreback, as you all experience a waking dream. Except for a Torback. The silver light turns to the blue glow. You've got to get a little laughs out.

This is important. It's very funny, though. That's actually how he finds us, though. The silver light is keeping in a lot. He walks in and you're all, like, held in place experiencing this dream. Oh, man. Just you Jackman from the fountain by that. I'm like, I just like sit on the ground and I wait.

It's like when you just down to Boston, wow, and you accidentally escape the cut scene and everybody else is watching it. That's exactly what it's like. Where is everybody? As everyone except for Torbeck experience is a waking dream. The silver light turns the blue glow of the moon overhead, head as a lithe and adolescent fey man emerges from the tree line

of an emerald woodland to stare up at a great stone castle, armored footmen posted along the walls and parapets. Gleaming eyes peer beyond an elegant mask up at the tallest tower, a glowing purple light radiating from the barred window.

Despite watchmen standing vigilantly on guard all around the fortress, the young man steps proudly into the moonlight, and in a moment he is suddenly a barn owl that takes to the sky. The owl glides silently on wings, almost disappearing into the darkness before landing on the tower's window sill. In a moment, a beautiful young woman pulls back the curtain, her long black

hair marked with streaks of white. She lets out a surprise gasp and whispers, You came, just as you promised. You came after all of this time. How did you? In a flage, in a of feathers, the lithe-mast prince stands precariously on the stone of the window, gazing at the prisoner through the bars of her cell. His lips turned to a dashing smile as he bows gracefully. To return to you, I would master any and all of the mysteries of the wild, and I come bearing the key to your freedom. He reaches into his crimson coat and draws forth a ruby red rose. It glints in the moonlight, as do the eyes of the young woman, as they widen at the shimmering rose. Her eyes

returned to the mass face of her rescuer, and she lets out a soft smile. My gallants are night with the heart of heroism, bravery, and strength. He nods as his smile softens, drawing a steel sword from his side and raising it toward the evening

sky. The spitting image of the green knight himself. She laughs and rolls her eyes. But you're so very red. The king sheathed the sword, once more and offers her the rose. And so is this rose. Take it now and then take wing, my queen.

We shall fly by night far away from here. She can cage you no longer. The woman in the tower reaches forward and grasps the stem of the rose. But suddenly the petals turn to a shade of blue. She lets out an agonized scream as the flowers shifts back and forth from red to blue

until the colors blend and a bright purple light fills the sky. Silence falls over the area for just a moment, despite the shouts of the guards and watchmen. And then the castle explodes. A horrifying apocalyptic burst of arcane wrath explodes from the girl, filling the entire night with purple energy. The young prince comes to in the middle of a smoking crater filled with the stones of the broken castle in the mangled corpses of hundreds of footmen serving staff and the inhabitants of the fortress. The woodland around has been turned to splinters for miles.

And despite the catastrophic destruction, the pear is still alive. The girl is slumped over him as if shielding him, and his mask has a thin hairline crack. In a flash, the vision dissipates. Holy shit. Oh, my gosh. Fuck! You better say that?

That was the craziest one yet. Oh, a tour back. You didn't wait for touch. What do you mean? Oh my gosh! You guys put the shark! You were here talking about the shabler. We were right behind it.

Torbeck's starting to chafe it and you guys just forgot about it. Craigsiest cooler. Should I have a song? You see the destruction from miles. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Put the shard back and maybe we can do it again. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'll try. Yeah, alright.

Well, there you go. It begins to float. Oh, man. Hey, hey, yeah, yeah. You do it. You do it. I'm like sweaty. I'm a lot.

No, maybe not. Maybe not. I just snatched off the thing. Nothing happens. No! I throw it a giddy at the... No! That's a piece of an agent!

It's stuck in your shoulder. Yeah, it is still shocked. This is the worst you can tour of life. It's gonna be all right. It wasn't that cool. No, no. It was just, you know, it was... What you didn't talking about, man?

It looked like your faces was crazy. It was unbelievable. I had seen your faces moments ago. It was just, you know. crazy. I don't, I mean, look, look, we just learned some backstory. That's all. We just know that Zablna who's, who's, whew. So tell Torre what happened? It's a boss. If it wasn't that cause, I mean, it's a box. I can't put it in. I mean, it had to be there. Basically, it looks like Zablna has this crazy uncontrollable arcane power that levels fucking miles and miles.

And you saw that? Oh, yeah, we saw it. Oh, gosh. Yeah, yeah. Hundreds dead. Just like if you would have film it, you would have it be slow motion, and then you would have like a really cool addition of the great gig in the Scarborough, a pig floor. It would be really cool. You guys sure of that? Oh, yeah.

They'll be like the stones fire. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. It was kind of like, you know how in the first one she was like in there and then she did the thing and he flew back and the blade where she had her? It was kind of like that except a thousand times cooler, man. Man. Perhaps it'll happen again in the next one.

Well, but I think what we're learning is that I think she's imprisoned for a reason. Maybe it's to keep a lid on all this. I mean, if she could have done that, she didn't, she seemed like a young adult teen. They looked like they were late teens, so. I mean, are you think that they're like kept her cats? captive because she can't control her powers and she's blowing things up and killing hundreds of people. Well, we know that she's probably got more powerful since then. We know that she became kind of like this powerful sorceress and patron of warlocks. I mean, madricks, twig?

Yeah. Do you see that twig? You've been here this old time. Yeah. Did you experience the meat dream? No, because I was standing in the shadows watching whatever he was doing. Oh, I see. All right. Oh, wow. I'm sorry about that. Oh, that's okay. Anyone else feeling oysters? A good old cowboy, I could stand to,

maybe I'll whip something up on the ship. What is that saying? What are we gonna do next? Well, Frosty, can I see that other piece you got real quick? Yeah, yes. Oh, yeah, ooh, ooh. That's just good thing. I get it out immediately because I organize my pack.

Right. Alphabetically. Vorable sword right on top. Very cool. I wanna hold the two pieces together and just put them towards each other and see if anything happens. And even-

There is a magnetic pull, but they don't adhere to each other. And I would say you don't even need to roll to see that one of them is clearly, the one you just picked up is clearly the tip. And the other one is the part that's closest to the hilt. It's missing the middle piece.

Hmm. Is the pole, would I be getting the sensation that if we just had all three pieces, it would just. I would say you're getting a sensation that they're calling to each other and that if you had the missing piece that you would be able to reforge the blade. Well, one more piece, guys,

and I think this thing snaps back into the warble blade. We just gotta go talk to some frogs. Well, it's all glumphant from there. I feel like half of them all hate each other anyway. Shouldn't be that hard. You mind if I hang on to this, Frosty? Where will you put it? No, it's all over my back.

Yeah, he, he, he, he, his back's all organized, did? Yeah, if I don't know how to clean. He's kind of like the vocal sword. I'm talking about the sword guy, I mean. Yeah, but, you know how to clean. Clean? Yeah, your back's not organized, you do know how to clean. Well, that's what I got Frosty for.

So you're gonna ask Frost to come over and find the pieces? Well, he can't only find the pieces, but then once the swords for it together and somebody's got a wield it. I mean, who does he think he is? Do you think you're gonna wield that thing? Well, yeah, I mean, who else could, who else can wield swords here? Well, I don't, I don't think we're making it for you, Ian. Oh! I think we're making it for him.

Yeah, I don't think you really have the form to use such an elegant weapon. Yeah, it's not, it's not quite your style. So it's just that one time. Yeah, you just that one time. Yeah, you just can't. You can't say, I have such a hat it. I'll be dumbed a banana bottle. I'll best punch you with this sword here.

You can fit in the warple sword chair. Best be backing off. Oh, man, I have to watch the prince use the warples sword. Best be backing off you, you chum. I'll punch you with this sword. It doesn't work like that. You need foaming and training. Yeah, Gideon's life is so terrible.

He's got to watch someone else use a sword. Meanwhile, you could be a tourback whose crock's trying to crawl right off his body. You're definitely to have that ice afterwards after this. I'm starting to think that this isn't just chafing. Let's go to here, the fellas. What do you think? I'm going to remove it from my back.

You may hold on to the lead. Yeah, I'll hang on to it. Too far through the orple, sorry. On our way back to the flying circus, I think Grico and I should sing a musical number as we brutally murder an adorable anthropomorphic family oysters. Oh! What do you think?

Capitalized, you're going to be a market. All right. We're going to let's hear it. Also carving delicious looking bread and spreading delicious looking butter. Oh, oh, fuck. We murder a whole family oysters. You do? And you have a feast.

And when we get to the airship, I would like to make everybody oyster po-boys. Oh! Okay, you know what? Sure. What would you like these oyster po-boys to do? Just feed them? I'm gonna use my cooking feet. Okay.

Because I should use my mechanics every 25 episodes. I can just look here. Anyway, just all of that way. I'm giving you the opportunity to do something extra if you would like to. Oh, I just figured we were a little peckish. We haven't eaten in a while. Roll a D12 for me.

You are using your cooking skill. You have just slaughtered a family of oysters. And as you take your, as you take the, sack of clam meat or oyster meat up to the dirigible. You get to work using, utilizing your cooking skills to create these

po-boys. And you feel as if you have, you haven't really cooked as much as you would like to since Electrum Chef. But you feel that Electrum Chef changed you. It made you a better chef. And as you are, and Twig is helping

to, as she likes to do, But as you are cooking this, you realize that you're transferring the life essence from this slaughtered oyster family into these po-boys. And as you all enjoy these sandwiches, I don't know what are po-boys? I don't know what a sandwich. As you enjoy these sandwiches,

you all gain five temporary hitser. Oh shit. I was gonna use my bolstering treats which would have given three people three. So it's an upgraded bollings. Can we say that the temporary hit point stack on top of our existence? temporary hit points? Sure. Do we have any?

We have Heroes Fees temporary hit points. No, that's Max HP. I have three 10 hit points from something. Oh, I just added to Tem. Isn't Heroes Fees Max? It is. It is both your hit point maximum and... Oh yeah. No, you gain the same number. I don't know where I got through 10 from. But either way, temp replaces 10. So I just get five instead of three.

You get five. I'm going to override that and add that to my... Enjoy, fellas. Mechanically, I eat the... I eat the Po-Boyboy, but in reality, No, Torviks had enough soggy clam for the day. And with that, Somehow I think that's not gonna be true, Torbik. And the small state. And with that, you make your way up into the sky,

looking out over thither, you see that your rebellion is almost reaching the outcropping of trees right around loom lurch. And you know that they are making their way to do what needs to be done is you shift the dirigible towards Hither. And you, I would say, you know that though you had three places to visit in Yon and you had two in thither,

there is only one destination for you in Hither. And that is downfall. The soggy fort. The last that you had been there, Gullop the 19th had been in power. He didn't really want to be king necessarily, but it was what was bestowed upon him. So while you had been there, you were able to bolster the,

you were able to bolster the citizens of downfall into reclaiming the monarchy as their own, and you propelled them towards a life of voting and choosing who they wanted to be the monarch. No more slaughtering one gullup to create the next. And so if you are lucky, you will be making your way into Downfall and to Gallup the 19th, your friend. Is there anything you want to do while you're in flight to downfall?

We have enough time to play hungry, hungry Hymbo now? Um, yeah, but there are only five players, so. Oh, I'm in. Four players. Then, then, then, then, I'll just find, yeah, yeah. Huh? Also now. Grigo's that?

Oh, I'm sick. Ugh. I hope you feel bad. I have we feel bad. It feels like you don't want to play hungry, hungry imbo with me. You promise me a life of vampirism. It's in your blood now, I swear. You don't know until you've lived the whole life.

Prove it frost. How can I prove vamporism to you? Let me bite. Where to play hungry, hungry, hungry? Henry Hymbo out with me everywhere? Yeah, as long as I'm a vampire, we're done biting you. All right.

They won't switch, remitle out. Oh, no. Okay, well, bend down on shore. And then with that, Twig leaps up, and she wraps her arms around you, and she sinks her teeth into your neck right into the biggest vein she can find. Oh my God.

With an 18 plus 23. Three. Right, that hits. And she's going to do a total amount of, this is just twig damage. Here goes my po-boy. Wait some more. She's gonna do a total of eight piercing damage.

And she begins to, she begins to feast from you. Oh, I don't think of . That's a lot of blood. That's quite a bit of blood. Never say that I didn't do anything for you. Ow, no. And then she eventually detaches from you. So, am I a vampire now?

Blood is just dripping all over her face. I've already turned to bandage myself up. Yes, yes. You've clearly imbinded of my anima. Do I have fungus? Fungus? You mean fangs? No, fangs?

Yes, you do. Pointy fungus? Yes, yes. He better sleep with one eye open frost. That will be difficult. Here's your hymbo. Oh, thank you. Mm-hmm.

Anyone else wanna play? I've got my hymbo. I'm flying the ship and eating a delicious oyster program. I could take over flying for a little bit if you wanted to play again. Oh, to play with me best mate, Frosty. Oh, there you got me. Bring us in. I wasn't flying the ship, I'd be eating with two hands.

We're gonna dedicate this game to Hurley's honor, I can steer for like 10 minutes. All right, I'll play. Oh, Gideon's in, okay? So what I do, Geree? Just give me a quick run down before you go to play. Yeah, well, you know, you just manage the elevation here with this, this pulley lever, and then you have two hands on the wheel.

Okay, right. All the time, keep her steady. And then you just kind of keep her steady. Don't hit either of these buttons, one in big a fives, one in trick of fives. And then there are a couple other do duds and bits and bobs. That one shoots the rockets, that one fires a jet booster. Just don't hit anything crazy. All right, I'll just steer, all right?

Yeah, I think you just keep it, you know, keep in between the navigational booze and we'll be fine. You guys want a boat on who's going to win? I'm feeling a little lightheaded. Because I think that Gideon's probably going to win. I think it's going to be me. Oh, no, that's not true. Well, I think it's going to be good at. That's not true.

It's about feeding cake. You know, it's not true. I was very close, that was almost, that was almost the, you're slurring your words. Your blood is pouring out of your neck. I don't think. I feel- I'm not pouring out. I feel, oh.

Okay, let's go, lads. Come on. All right, I don't know. It's just leasily with one of the finger-prone. Oh, I've got oyster pole grease all over me fingers. Oh, no, oh no, I'm ready. I'm losing. I can eat my mage hands.

I'm a fool to do your dirty work. Oh, yeah. I don't want to do your dirty one. No, ma'am. And with that, And with that, the flying circus flies into hither. Gideon comes up victorious.

No! We have to roll for it. Actually, let's roll for it. No! All of the hungry, hungry, Pimbo players, roll a D-20. Torbeck is intentionally not true. Like, he's not.

Are you playing too? Yeah, I was a fifth player. Perfect. But he, Torbeck was like, very much. much not trying. Okay, roll a disadvantage. He's very like, oh, perfect.

On my disadvantage, Torbeck got a natural one. Me too. What natural one brought us. This aim shows the utility of life. Very quickly, Torback and Cricko are out. What did you get first? 11. Followed by Twig.

Six. And then followed by Gideon. And even though with his immense blood loss, his throbbing headache and his lightheadedness, Frost somehow wins this round of hungry, hungry hymboes. I figured out how to use my mage hand all every off of push, and it doubled the speed of my hymbo cake eating. It actually makes sense that you would be the one

that would know how to eat cake more in this scenario. Okay. I'm going to go find out if there's a healing plant. Anyway, we're here. We're here. Oh, she's right over there. How do I get this thing down, kid? Oh, that's going to just push down here,

and then it'll go on a hover mode, and then it'll just start to descend and just level the wheel. Keep straight in it. You got it. You got it. Like a natural, I'm proud of you. And with that, you're able to, you're able to land on the balloon dock.

You see that there are a couple of armed bully-wug guards that are here. They seem to be the same ones that were here the last time you were here. last time you were here. Hey, who goes there? Oh, it's us. We're just here to see the king and all that. They look between each other and the other one speaks up.

What are you doing here? We're here to see the king. Oh yeah, you just said that. Why? It's an important business for the security of your newfound state. Important private, kingly business. Well, is King, Gullup the 20th, expect?

Oh no, what happened to the 19th? You say 20th? Yeah. Oh, no. He's dead. Yeah, well, you know he's not dead. We had a vote and we voted on the next goal. Oh, Democratic election.

Oh, you voted on the next king? Yeah, just like he was told we should. Good for you guys. Look at that. How about that, Lodge? What happened to the 19th, if you don't mind my asking? Well, he's a painter now, and he likes to spend time down by the shoreline.

painting the lily pads. He's a painter is what you said. Yeah, an artist. Okay. Oh, that's good for him. I hope he enjoys his retirement or new job. Well, he's an artist for the crown. He does the family portraits.

So the previous king does the portraits of the current king? Yeah. All right. I guess let's speak, maybe I feel like go of the 19th with no gull of the 20th. Why don't we just go speak to him? He's our old friend. We go way back. Yeah, we go way back.

That's a great idea. Remember Bully Jugs? Thank you. Thank you. You also a big fan of the tale of Sir Mogo. Oh, wait a minute. You won that competition. Electric chef.

That was us. Well, that was grimy. I recognize you. We ain't had grums quite like we had when you were. here. Do you like that grums? Well, I didn't get to try your famous grums, but I've had the crowns grums, and it's delicious crown.

But from what I hear... As long as the colfish is fresh. It ain't... It's going to be delicious. Let me tell you. Well, we have been, we have been fishing up a lot of coral fish. To be fair, at the time, we weren't aware that the steroids cost incontinence. I thought everyone knew that.

We didn't know. We just learned that. That is why our banks are so verdant. We were then years old when we found that out. Well, I think Gullup the 20th would love to see you and speak to the winner of Electrum. Chef. Are you here to compete again? No, no, we don't have time for that.

No, no. No time indeed. I don't know. We've got to go see our old friend. Hopefully, I was still around two. Did they see a lot? live, Snoop? Yep. King Gullop the 20th has snoodle by his side. Wow. All right. Well, if you like, I will

lead you to the king. I guess. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, I mean, I might as well, just go straight to the top. Hopefully, you know, he likes sounds like he's a big fan, man. All right, okay. Randy, do you mind if I take them to the king? Randy looks at him and punches his shoulders. Nope, Randy don't mind. All right, let's go. lead the way. All right, well hop, too, and he literally hops to. It's very funny. As he makes his way down the rickety wooden stairs and motions towards you to follow him along on the stone pathway,

leading you almost a sense of deja vu as you make your way along the pathway around the lake directly towards the partially submerged gazebo. But as you get closer, you realize that it's no longer partially submerged. It's been raised up. New stilts have been placed beneath it to keep the water from encroaching upon it. And sitting all around it are not just the landed gentry like it had been before, but you see artists

and you see the townsfolk of downfall, all of them milling about as King Gullop the 20th sits upon his throne and entertains, anyone from Downfall, no longer keeping the common folk from enjoying the best that Downfall has to offer. And as you make your way through, you immediately hear the whispers of the folks of Downfall is, oh, that's them. That's the Grums Boys. That's the Grums Boys. Oh, and also the Great Fruit would put on the tale of Braves and Mogo. Oh, yeah, that play we did.

Oh, yes, that too. Beautiful musical. Oh, Julie, look, it's them. Hello, hello, what a do. Hello, how goes your constitutional republic? I thought they were taller the last time they are here. Not true. Well, not the green one.

Oh, hey, no, I totally was. Miniscure. You got a shorter? No, I wasn't. Well, must have been wearing long. wearing long taller shoes last time. Ah. And they talk amongst themselves as you were led.

We get away from these rude fans? Eventually to the gazebo. And our Royal Majesty, elected King, the 20th, I have the Grum's Boys here to see you. If you would so please. I don't know if I care for Grum's boys. Do you want to forget about the whole Bunko Boys thing? I guess with the Grumbole was.

The Grum must have become very popular. They've got a whole new king now. Hey, just so good. There haven't been any like surprising murders or like deaths. You're talking to the bully what guards? Yeah. Well. Any like no like serial queuing or brutal murders or nothing, right?

I mean, now that you, now that you, are, do you know something? You know something about that? I mean, just, we really got in a true crime lately. We was wondering. We found the first egg and freed her chef. We was wondering. She was like, chef red boots. Oh, she loves, love killing bully wolves.

Yeah. No, we do have ourselves a serial killer in these parts. Oh, well. That'll make a great podcast. Do they have a trademark, perhaps muddy iron boot prints left in the swamp? Yeah, that would be crazy. Is that true? How did you know that?

Oh, I just read- Are you a cul-in-in-in-a-newsit the murderer? No, I just read in the newspaper today, and there was a serial thing. Yeah, we just read the newspaper today earlier. The newspaper? Yeah. I'm so glad you're constantly a little future of public president already following a lot. Well, let me tell you about this serial killer.

Only killing bull-the-wugs. else. Wow. She sucks. I mean, whoever it is sucks. Yeah, you know,

we don't know. Yeah, for sure. And outside of the iron bootprints, the only thing that we've noticed about

the crime scenes is that something's being dipped in the blood. Oh, all right. Well, we hope you,

you all get that all sort of stuff. Yeah. It's probably just the first strikes of the hag. Oh, it was probably

a little. It was hard. Yeah, it's not a secret. She just can't. There's no fuckers. There's no fuckers that she's got to have. Those little fuckers are moving around. Just killing you guys.

That's the kind of thing I'm going to rise up about. You notice that the king leans forward. Are you trying to say that you think the minions of... Before the Blackstone? Yes. He's responsible for the killings of my citizens,

citizens of the fair folk of downfall? That's exactly correct. Yes, that's exactly correct. And King, you know I would never lie to a constitutionally elected ruler that serve the people and not themselves. I don't just imply it. I know it. Snoodle, do you hear this?

Those little fuckers to do anything. You see his snoodle does a barrel roll on his tufted pillow, exposing his belly, or for a second as he wiggles, and then he rolls back over, and he hisses a little bit as he looks up at Bevelornah's hut hanging above downfall. She's right up there as a little ugly, hideous, nuss-slimy, no-good fuckers are going around kidding all you nice bollywugs.

Just because on account you decided to have an extra system of government works for everybody. Oh, makes me matter. Instead of giving her the power, you all best know. How could you do this? You have been a great step. You've built a system. of government at worst.

We have stabilized our civilization. We are happy for the first time in four days. But the tree of freedom, the tree of freedom is still first. Let it drink deep of the blood of tyrants. Yes, so what are you gonna do about it? In haggs. He stands up on his shaky frog legs as he smooths out his tunic. Yee citizens of downfall, your king speaks to ye.

Speech. fought for democracy. We fought for freedom. And we have had the longest reign of peace downfall as ever known. Four days of pleasant existence together. And in that time, a terror has graced our midst, trying to tear us apart. The new shadow. At first, we thought a serious.

killer in our midst. Uh-uh. No, no. And it is with great despair that I regret to inform you it was none other than she. Mm-hmm. The wicked witch of the winds. Oh, that's true. The hag of the heavens.

Oh, yeah. She's the worst. Yeah, she's the first. Beflora the blighted. Oh. Boo, boo. Boo, boo. We don't have to her.

Hock Tui, Hock Tui. Huck Tui. The Grums Boys have come to us this day to let us know of the wickedness. Famous play. Outside of our gates. Grum's men, even. I hate you so much. You're the fucking worse.

You're doing great. That's great. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm a grown man, damn it? Pretty good, Mr. Michael. I'd be quite honest. I feel like I'm being patronized.

We're not showing me. Who does this king's been king for four days? I'm trying to give a battle of speech. You're doing great. I'm not going. You're going. You're a bollabha member man. The Grum's boys have brought to us this news.

I'm sorry, don't say it, don't say. God damn. Uh, frog just gotta take it. You just gotta take anything. I'm not thinking anything. Take the ill, take it all, alright. And if we are going to, if we are going to protect the peace that we have fostered and that we prosper,

we must, I must, call all able-bodied bullywugs to arms. If ye have it in ye to fight this day, and I beg of thee, grab your weapons, your weapons and fight by my side. For today, on this day, the fourth day of my reign, King, Gullop the 20th, I take downfall to war. Everyone cheers and applause.

You watch as everyone begins to grab their weapons as they march behind him. Call the horns and you see people looking really shocked. The horns, the horns, did you say all the horns in the last 15 days? And horns begin to erupt all over the land. Oh, also the bog clas are coming. We call for the swamped the swamp. The swamped as the ground begins to rumble and you see bubbles popping up all over the place and you begin to see these these swamp clops arise but they have two, eyes. And they have two long tendrils coming out of their heads that kind of bell shaped a little bit.

And they're all wearing shades of like beige and a corded rope. But they, they've brown leather vest. They've all got distinctly Scottish accents. As they begin to form a foundation around the Bullywugs, as they no longer look towards you as they begin to climb up the ropes. and begin heading towards Bavlornis Hap. Can I say that when one of them emerges, that they were underneath two dead guards that were buried by twig and frosts. Oh, absolutely.

The pond's coming to the ragnol physics. Your watch is like they're just floating lifelessly on the water. King Gallup, King Gallup. Torbeck knows that we've asked a lot of you today, but just the way that Torbeck's day is going and the comedic rule of threes, Torbeck's wondering if you might be able to get him some creams or a jelly. Torbeck's going to need it.

Well, I have a bit of aloe if you would like some. As much you got. For your skin? Don't ask what it's for. Just get the whole tub. Well, all right. Thanks, King Gallup. Torbeck's forever in your day.

He reaches over into a small satchel and rummages through. You see some topical ointments and. and some other medications, but he pulls out the aloe and hands it to you. Oh, nice to meet you. Appreciate it. Fellas. Now he march to war, and he charges forward

and begins to scale with the rest of the bully. We installed a proper fucking king here. Wait, you see that cicada in a trench coat standing behind the king? It looks like a younger version of Jeremy. Oh my God, he's got a gun! So, put down the gun, Jeremy. Jeremy the Cicada's son, being crawled.

by Frost. Laramie. Was it Larry? Well, no, it was Jeremy and then his son Laramie? Oh, his son Laramie executes me. The 20th in cold blow. Oh, man, right. Not yet.

And with that, you watch as the, they begin, it's gonna be a long journey along these ropes, especially if they can hold the swamp clops, as they make their way up towards Bavlornas hut. And you know, know that at this point, you have one final task left in hither. There's one final piece that must be retrieved. I don't think she's gonna last long, fellas.

Let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, this is fuck, guys. The hands are so fun. There's nothing more to do here. Oh, God. Gosh, I wish we should have done this earlier. Seriously. I didn't know you'd blow some horns and the swamp clops came out of nowhere.

Well, this wrong. Of course. It's just me. Oh, my man. I'm gonna do the way. You just walked that world right into that one. You don't get you.

Dude, the fucking idiot. You got you over your mouth. You'll never use the degrees of this G-sau. Sauce. Fudge. Fug. Fug. Fug.

Bram! Shit. You know what? Shit. You know what? Say this right there. Take a little hootsey, a proper assistant of government. Before you leave, you notice that snoodle lies there on a stuffed pillow completely unguarded.

Well, what are you looking at me for again? Oh, Cremie, you're mad he takes what he wants. Look, I'm worried that if we get another pet, after our next hiatus, we're going to forget all about it. That's your name. To the flying circuit. That's a to the flying turkey. I will kneel down and feed him the, I say three cheese curleys. Oh, lovely.

Oh, love for him. Aw. Yeah. He does another barrel roll after eating the curlies and scoches towards you with his belly up waiting for rubs. Oh. He, um. Try a somersault. And he somersaults and then begs for another curly. Use a bomb.

Use the boost to get through. He jumps through. Do that hello my baby, hello my darling thing. And begs for another cheese, curling. All right, there you go. That's all I got. He bites you. Well, that will.

But it's not very, I mean, he doesn't have strong jaws, but. I probably won't forget you, Snoodle. Yeah. He had a good life. I have a good one. He flops down and immediately falls asleep. Ah. You think he's going to be safe here all the one?

Yeah, I mean, with the Hagdad, who knows? Well, I hope so. You know, I think this king's got a good head on his shoulders. Certainly any inspiring speech. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we've got one last thing to do. Who'd she take notes?

Look at this. This is beautiful. This is beautiful. You make your way. You should really wash up Tobin. But I can do it. This is Torbeck, you don't know about the committee. You don't know about that.

You don't know about that. You don't know. Anyway, on her to the well. All right, you fly the wheel. You can feel in all 301 of his bones. You make your way back to the dirigible, and as you alight in the flying circus, you know where you need to go.

The final place was the well, where the Willoweths, where you'd met the Willoweth, when you would first come into Hither, what feels like years ago. And you, the way that Hither is laid out, you, from up here, you can see the entire topography of this place, and you locate the well immediately as you begin to make haste directly towards it. And as you slowly descend down into this part of the swamp, it's significantly darker. The trees shroud the light that comes in.

And you, it's colder here. The fetid smell of the swamp assails your nostrils as you land the dirigible. you all are able to climb out of it. The willow wisps dart around you. They seem to recognize you, and they whisper to each other and to you, but they don't attempt to engage with you too much. You hear the soft crying.

You know that these are the souls of lost children, and you leave them to flit around. We hope you find bees. as you make your way towards the. They're avenging you right now. As you make your way towards the well. God, I hope there's not some real fucking scary shit down. I hope there's not a bunch of like corpses of the children down here.

Perhaps we'll meet a vision of our greatest villain, and then when we finally defeat it, our own faces will be behind the mask. Why? Yeah. Because you were the skeleton all along? Yes. Oh. because of a shape shifter.

You see a new willow wisp carrying a lot of honey. I'm just kidding. No, someone in chat said it, and I was like, it's fucking. That's fucking. No, you don't. It really smells a little bit like piss down here. Oh, are you trying to descend into the well?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You lean over the edge. This well is covered in moss and algae, but you notice that there are, that there are footholes, and you, almost like a spiral staircase that leads down into the dank, musty recesses of this well.

Torbeck leading the way, you begin to make your way down. I'm going to agree that. No, I'm going, Torbeck. You get about halfway down when you hear, Hey, hot stuff. Sime, yeah. Okay. You come here, Rafton.

Look, let's just get this over with no names. Come on, just let's just. Oh, you wanna keep it secret, you're hiding something. The more anonymous, the better. Where can we go? I'm about to be hiding something. Torbeck's about to be hiding something. That's good.

Well, no. You guys just go. We'll wait for the meat dream this time. All right, well, let me allow you entrance into my feted game. Oh, stop, just stop. Torbett's going to reach his bag and pull out a blue pill. A small jar of jelly that Andrew forgave him. A funny, that he ever gave him.

And then, of course, the jar. Okay. Torbeck guesses, Torbeck's ready. Here we go. Take off my murkin drawers. Let's go. No, stop. Turn around.

Turn around. And it fades to black as you hear the soft, wet, lapping of the water against the base of the well. It surely isn't waiting 59 seconds. He's remarkably consistent. After about 57 seconds, Torbeck walks, Torback. He's lost a second every time. We've been talking him.

Think of the Bowie Jugs, think of the Bowly Jugs. Well, thanks for that. It was enlightening. Yeah, thanks for nothing. Here's some gold pieces. You get it over. This is my house, buddy. Yeah, make sure you lose Torbeck's number.

Oh, no. Whatever, real housewise of Hither is on. I gotta go call my friends about the guy that couldn't keep it up. Nothing matters. Everything is hollow and empty. I don't know if we have the the time left in the session for this little thing.

All right, let's just touch this piece of sword or whatever the hell we're here for. As you make your way out of her fetid cave and you begin to descend, you eventually meet your friends on the very last step of this well. And you see that there are no additional caves here. There's no place for you to enter.

There's nowhere for you to go. You look around, concerned, this is where you're supposed to, there was another one of those trolls. Like, this was a swamp troll. You look down and you see that during your 57 seconds of heaven, that the troll was able to tattoo her name in a heart on your arm, the name Fiona.

And you... How did that happen? So you know... It was a fused of the cannon. He works quick. Did you feel the baby? Yeah. So do you, buddy. So to you.

Torbeck is mentally elsewhere. It's not a dead dude to brain. You can't really smoke. Right there in the end, the Torbeck can't smell anything. Oh, guys, guys, Torbeck's got to be honest here. Thank God there isn't a fourth piece because Torbeck's looking like a youth.

There's almost nothing. There's almost nothing. It's a stub at this point. I gotta say Dorbeck three in about an hour. I mean, hip, man, that's the tricycle. You wanna be proud of that. Not many accomplice three and two hours. What?

Sorry, Dorbeck, D'erbeck's with you. Dormick's here. That's a name for that? Yeah, man, it's riding the tricycle. Is anyone else craving waffles or puffane? Oh, I could always feel like that. I could always feel a man. I haven't had some in a while, have we?

Well, you begin to get nervous as you realize there's nowhere else to go. When you notice it of flickering at the very bottom of the well, at first it looks like little bits of willow wist, but you realize that just below the surface there's a floating orb of silver light. All right, so a massa, do you a thing? All right, well, I can just reach down

and grab it or do you have to like dive in? Do you imagine you could reach down and grab it? Okay, I will try and reach down and grab what seems presumably is the center piece of the Vorpal Blade. You reach your hand into the cold waters at the base of the well and the moment you submerge your hand to about the wrist level, you're able to grab on

to this piece of the Vorple Blade. As soon as you touch the third, and final shard of the Vorpal Blade with its gleaming hilt. It suddenly radiates with silver light, which consumes your entire vision as you all experience a waking dream. The silver light

turns to the orange glow of flickering fire and the fireplace built into the wall of a hut filled with countless knick-knacks, herbs, and other strange oddities, among shelves and hanging from the ceiling. In a quaint bed along the wall is the beautiful maiden, her hair

now entirely silver, besides a single strand of black. She sleeps peacefully with her hands clasped over her heart, a blue rose in her grasp. Then a door to an interior room opens and an unfathomably ancient crone hobbles out on knobbly knees, dressed in a patch-covered blue dress with a tattered red shawl

from which strongly white hair wisps from her. Her visage is horrifying, is as horrifying as it is hideous, with an impossibly long nose covered in warts that extends past deep sunken eye sockets, filled with beady black eyes. She hunches over the maiden and dabbs her head with a cloth, damp from the brew from the cauldron on the fire. Then the door to the outside is kicked in, and with a rattling crash, an elegantly dressed fay prints dressed in crimson, and a glinting mask steps into the hut filled with rage. The king of hearts brandishes a sword of red and silver towards the crone,

glare is at her. Release my love, Hag. You know I am prepared to cut your putrid heart from your nobly shoulders here and now. Need come here of your own volition, child. I am no longer a child and I now have a weapon for

from my heroism, bravery and strength. If you will not release her from your spell, I will have no choice but to strike you down. Begin with your folly, child. In a blazingly fast and graceful movement, the Faye Prince lunges forward for a deadly strike. And with an echoing clang of metal, the sword is stopped suddenly as the crone grasps it between two gnarled yellow nails, as effortly as if she was plucking a flower. A moment later, the sword shatters and clatters to the ground as the man is violently lifted to the ceiling by an unseen force.

Boy, I care not whom your father is. You are a hideous creature, a worm beneath the feet of my granddaughter. You hide behind that mask, ashamed of what you really are. The King of Hearts lets out a groan as he is crushed against the thatch of the roof, and then with a small wave of the hand,

the mask shatters easier than the sword. And despite the beauty of the rest of the face, you see what was hidden behind the mask. Two horrifically misshapen eyes, one swollen and nearly shut, and the other absolutely massive and bulging, the color of pitch with a deep red pupil. The crone looks up at him

and finally peels back her thin lips to a sickening smile, revealing two rows of iron teeth. She extends gnarled crooked fingers towards the shattered blade as a dark green smoke arises, slithering up like serpents through the air that twists together. Your blade is ill-forged, boy.

Heroism, bravery, strength. You may leave these walls, but I create a weapon as ugly as you are most. It will be forged from your rage, your shame, your hate. The slithering smoke begins to take form as it snakes out of the door as the king of hearts is ejected from the room and into a putrid swamp beyond. He collapses to the floor and looks up toward the crone, tears streaming from his grotesque eyes. She stands at the doorway and produces a silvered mirror adorned with the shapes of swan geese,

reflecting the man's true visage back at him. He lets out a blood-curdling scream of terror and immediately stumbles away from it, screaming as he sprints out into the gloom. The smoke swirls and circulates above the hags hut, taking shape and becoming flesh. Green scales, leathery wings, snaking tail, grasping claws, gnashing jaws, bulging eyes,

wriggling tendrils. A horrific draconic beast is birthed. as the Jabberwalk lets out a guttural bellow and takes to the sky. Then in a flash, the vision leaves you. And that is where we will end the session. Oh, shit. Whoa. What does it mean?

You're welcome. Thank you for playing in it. Amazing. Oh, damn. She's back, folks. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventra's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or Hire to unlock Shroud

over Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash legends of Evantris. If you want to chat about the episode with the avantris community, join us on Discord at Legendsofaventras.com slash Discord. We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at Legends ofaventris.com slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror fifth edition supplement published by us. Get your own copy at the crooked moon.com.

Thanks again and we'll see you next time.