Legends of Avantris - Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 9 | When the Wagon's a Rockin'

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

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Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I am Grico Grimgrin, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Torbeck recently in a drunken rampage stole the cardboard cutout of Clementine from the big topic extravaganza. Her whereabouts is currently unknown. The letter goes on to say if we turn him in, we'll get Frost back, and I'm sure they're going to, I don't know, kill him or imprisoning him. I mean, how are we expecting to choose?

between Tobac and Frosty are you fucking kidding? If something has happened. What do you mean? What, you just won that rap battle? I must produce an air. What the hell?

I need to fuck a troll. My... My name is King Shmabula. I'm King Smebula. Okay, why don't we go to the drink That's the best idea you've had all night. Get you some wine. Free drinks at the snail, crazy!

Let's let this race begin! Thank you everyone for coming out tonight. Free drinks at the exit. Don't worry, eyes are always watching here at the Witchlight Carnival, and it is almost time for the crowning of the Witchlight Monarch. Torbeck is just glad that his newfound friends would never betray him. And you see Mr. Witch, as he looks between all of his. looks between all of you.

Well, well, well, you have done your job exactly as I had hoped, fellas. That's right. We follow the orders. He's right here. He never left. If you have the manacles, you can take him right now. You're not going anywhere after what you did to me. Torbeck just has a few quick words.

No, do not stand around and weep because Torbeck is not there. Torbeck does not sleep. You have been at the Witchlight Carnival for about five hours at this point. Though for you it's felt like weeks, maybe even eight weeks for all of you. Over the past hour or so, you have spent your time, three of you have spent your time leading Torbeck around the carnival itself, playing games, indulging in Guys' Night. And overall, just having a jolly good time. All the while, your friend Frost has been held up inside the wagon of Mr. Witch and Mr. Light after an interesting performance at the big top extravaganza.

The last hour ended with a snail race where Grico was able to win the title of snail race king. Oh, yes. It was as the jubilence died down that you found yourselves alone. on the track. The lights went out and out of the shadows emerged a group of figures. Mr. Witch among them as his bodyguards took Torbeck into their control and chose to head back to the wagon with him. You had received a letter telling you of Torbeck's sorted past that he'd been here for the entire time the carnival's been here, but his drunken antics had led to

being paid multiple times as well as the theft of a cardboard cutout named Clementine theft being one of the taboos and the no-goes at the carnival or anywhere in the Baywild and he needed to pay for his crimes you kept him entertained while Mr. Witch and Mr. Light could figure out

exactly what they'd planned to do with him and it was at this point that Mr. Witch came to collect and as you were standing here, you watch as Burley, the Pixie, Rihata, Flog, and another one of the, one of his bodyguards, which appears to look like a, I can't believe I'm saying this,

appears to look like a bug bear and a clown outfit, begins to make their way off of the track with Torbeck. Off into the distance. heading back towards you imagine the wagon. Mr. Witch thanks you for your assistance

and lets you know that when you're ready he'll see you there and Frost is free to go. As he turns around and walks back into the shadows, you're left alone standing here in the middle of this track. Frost, still nowhere to be seen.

Torbeck taken away to some unknown fate. What do you do? Hey, Grico, is that Bugbear on a clown outfit? Is that Jerry? No. You mean my political

harsh rival, Jeremy? Of the Hobb Goblin-Topia? Far worse than Gobontopia. Agreed. I have no interest in uniting with Hobgoblin-Topia. They can get fucked for a like to. You said a lot of crazy stuff, but that's the first thing you said that made sense. Yes, yes.

Now, the chief exporter of Hobgoblin Trophy is Hobgoblin Surfing Turf. It's very similar to Goblin Surf and Terve, except it's all a bunch of processed soybeans slug. I don't know how they eat that shit. Now, look, what I'm saying is don't get any ideas. Just because he's dressed like a clown doesn't mean you have to kill him. Alright, I can't... Listen, Kremi, I don't have anything against clowns. I just keep happening to kill him.

I never set out to do it. My point is it's almost like fate's drawn you to the doom. And I'm saying you should try to resist the pull into just going along with it, like when Rico leaves you and says, hey, check a meatball with your 20 strength and that poor unsuspecting clown. Well, you're presuming that the pull is coming towards me. What if in fact is the reverse? that clowns are being pulled into my fist.

You know, that's a fair point. Maybe you're just a helpless bystand at all this death and misery. I don't wait, we got to... A wise observation from the master of coin.

No doubt. How do you fix him? You know what? I like it. I like him better this way. Snail number two. Now that we have sacrificed... The snails are no longer there with you. Snail number two, now that we have sacrificed that

Bugbear Yoko, you will now be my new master of ships. No, I'm ships. Oh, Grico is the master of ships. I think he was the, yeah, no, Grumman was the man. Master of laws. You will be a just master of law, snail number two. But we must, after a second, After such an act of war from Hoboboboblin Tobia,

we must arrange a small council meeting. Right now? Yes. So we must find my hand of the king. Which is who? Sir Frosting, Lord Frostington. The words are, I just love beans. His coat of ours. I just love beans. This citadel is a big, very, very.

beefy tiger with a red scarf. Like pouring in the air. Oh, yes. With a big cartoon Twitter eyes. Their school bus yelling. Oh, I'm so, look, look, look. I think we gotta get out of these outfits before Frost comes back. Because if he sees us in these, he's never gonna let us live a dab.

What outfits, my kingly garb? You dress like a taxidum rat. Pact to do my face paint. Oh, but with my face paint, I have a plastic beard in crown. You look like the Burger King. It's not even just a beard and crown. It's an actual, like, wooden hat, like head. That's on you that looks like the Burger King guy.

I am. My goblin nose pointed to it. Well, is this mean guys' nights over? Yeah, I mean, we're doing guys' night as a favor of the me. to Mr. Witch, right? Show him Torbeck a good time. And I guess we were buying time until they could prove that he was a horrible criminal.

I guess the sow pigs coming for him something. I mean, I mean, what? That's a name. No, no, no, no. I was just thinking about frozen peas. Nothing's funny.

I was just thinking about salpigs, too. I was thinking about salpigs. I just, uh, you got it. I was just thinking about the great court jester of yonder years. Yonder time. Oh, man. They call him Frozen P. Okay, well, let's go.

Can we hurry back to the big top? Is that where I thought he was in a cart behind the big top? Yeah, I know I want to get chained first. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that leaving the big top? There was the staff area, which right next to it had the costume and prop department, which is where you got your outfits. Back after that was a little open area where Burley was essentially guarding,

and then there was the carriage or the wagon that Mr. Witch and Mr. Light. In the staff area? Behind the staff area. Yes, so there's like the... Well, there's a little mushroom back there. Yeah, Big Top staff area. Nice. Mr. Witch is drawing.

Oh, Mr. Woods. That's a mushroom. I missed it. Oh, astute observation. What say you, Grand Mastor? Hi! I think it's pretty cool that you're directly responsible for the inevitable horrible torture of Tobin. Well, Grand Mesa, you acquired more as I hadn't really realized that.

I don't actually think he needs this here. Do you want to get food? Yeah. But anyway, you're like to a McDonald's or something? I actually totally aside. We've gotten all these comments about how good Mike's frost impression was, and it was like Derek was under the table or like he never left. I think Mike should do like a one-man Faye Wilde or one-man witchland.

Yeah, and he's a horse. All right. Are you ready to go? Yes, I believe we are. But now that my bride's knowledge, said she's not ready to be betrothed. I must fuck a troll to,

we must find a troll to save my healing kingdom. Also, everything tastes like oil. They must buy hobgoblins and their vegetable oil attacks. That's weird. I never noticed that with the hobgoblins, everything tastes in my goal. I'm making an executive decision

because I just got another twist, that at any time I can use a twist of dread to give all of you a fakers. Ooh. I love that. I love that. I won't be tired tomorrow. Or one's person specifically, however I want to do it.

I think he's just point. You'll curse as loud as you can. Yeah, I think it's an executive decision. I make the rules, so. Everything tastes oily. Trolls are attractive. I want to get in a long-term relationship with one. I'm the leader of a great alien kingdom,

and I have been for 10 years. Old food I eat tastes like chicken. And whenever giant is spoken, it's screaming. All five of those. So oily chicken? Everything tastes like the grease trap at a papas. Oh, god. And the chocolate frontier fountain.

Hold on, we're gonna go down the table. We're gonna start off with King Schmecta. What do you have? 83. Roll again. Oh, 75 for me. That one I can't change. 89.

Another 89. You are now aware of the exact time and state of your death. And I will let you decide what that's going to be. That's awful! I know! Four. Four, four, four, four. What a nightmare.

You can no longer distinguish your left from your right. Yeah, it's an easy one. 75. 75. Uh, roll again, please. 98. Wow, that's a high one. It's pretty high.

You cannot stop emitting a melodious ringing noise. What would that be like? Oh. Basically. You don't roll again. That one's not going to work. That will be hard to do. It's not.

72 for me. 72. That's not. It's not good enough. 72 is not going to? No, 72. 100. Oh, okay, perfect.

You got the same one as Grico. You also believe that you are the ruler of a kingdom for 10 years, but it has fallen into a duty and never. Don't let me do it. We now have two kings. Ah, God. Jesus. Congratulations.

100. 100. I know. It's not very good, to be honest. We're gonna update this table. We are updating this table. Once I finish updating it, we'll be on our Patreon. 59, you said?

59. Yeah, because some of these are more like long term. You are now sensitive to all light. Ah, ah! Ah! Thank you. Is anyone else getting that? I think it's migraine.

You know, like when the aura comes on? Silence, master of ships. Yes, silence. We must make bread with king. Rodiandra. Oh, King Rodeandra. From the nation of... From the...

From the... From Farklestown. Ah, that's the kingdom of Farklestein. King Rodeandra. You know this, Lord Gricoe, don't you? I don't know what you're talking about? Whether the chief exports, of course, being... Oh, fire.

Oh, yes, fire. All these torches you see around you. just in here of this great hall has been imported from Falcostan Yes, not the torches Just the flame, just the fire, just the fire. We make our own torches. You have to carry it with your hands.

Gentlemen, I have had a vision. Yeah, while I must sire an air by a fucking troll. And he will unite our peoples. Is it a troll? fuck is you will no my son oh yeah okay I will have a beautiful troll wife she's gonna be like uh-huh huh-huh oh my man I agree yeah my life yeah my like experience that doesn't have a noble son my first born son Globo second of his name being a troublin he will have deep resentment

towards his father a trueborn goblin he will be the chosen one destined to save Gobotopia. By becoming king, he will. Stand me in the back. Not figuratively. Well, I guess also figuratively. It's both. You'd raise a cowardly air to that strike you down to your face. I shouldn't have named him Globo the second of his name. Yes, that was your first mistake. It's not too late, right? It's your second mistake. No, no, we can not change our fate. once we know that. Your first mistake was tiring a travolent. Yes. Are you calling me, Lord Grigo? Yes, Lord Grigo.

Why? Because Mikey fucked up once, and now he's running with his own. We need to get problems. We've lost, now that we've lost, our Master of Laws and our Master of Coen. Oh, who's your Master of Laws? I don't even remember his name. He's very

forgettable. Oh. Yes. Yes. Yes. Mail number two. No only royals are talking, Lord Grigo. Mind your place. Bring us a great board. Ah, so they were...

...and frozen peas. What? What? What is what the fuck is up with the frozen peas? Ah, ah, ah, the trolls. Uh... Ah, Snally. God's blessed Snarley.

Enter as barren personality. Your last name is Shmbebulon. My name is... And your first name is Gourbo? No, secondly, he's named after my dear uncle. Is dear uncle the zombie that haunts him sometimes? Oh, so your name is not Gorbo Schmebulon. No. What's your first name?

My name is Schmebuluk. Shmebuluk. My first name is king. That fact. My father came and he said, Son, one day you will be king. And I was said, Dad, I'm already king. I'm already king, that's my name.

No, you'll also be, I mean, I'm the king of Gobontopia, and when I die, because we have a hereditary monarchy, then you will be king. You know that your, the Frost isn't there, right? He's talking to Derek. I'm talking to dinner. I'm saying, like, there's literally no one here. Yeah, I'm talking.

Derek is in the carnival. Yeah. It's just Derek. You will be my new master of laws because of your very nor sweatsh. Got it at a Banana Republic. Oh. We're not running at Banana Republic, you're fired. There's just a random man that looks exactly like Derek,

who had been in the stands for the snail race, who came down to get an autograph and he's just talking to schmobula. Okay, alright, I'll be five. Yeah, Colin used to dress like that. Who? No, no, I guess you don't. Collin? Remember the accountant, Colin? Oh, you mean,

Reynolds of the corrupt. Yeah. Let's just go. I grow tired of this bearded man. That beaded man. His bearded man and his V-Nexed man.

And as they walk away, I'd be like, wow. there went king, king, shmebber. Ah, yes. And you make your way out of the arena. It takes you while. The arena is quite large, but you do make your way out and onto the street.

And as you do, Grico, everything but your most recent fay curse fades from you. Something has happened. I bet. What's your name? Cremie, how do you forgive my name? It's Grico.

What's my name? Did I just say Cremie? Oh no, it's Briggs. Sorry, cause I can't say that. Oh, your name's not, Grico, you're King Shmabberlach. Felouege. We seek your hand of the maister. Frostington.

Frostington? First of his name from the Frostington ghost. Is that would like the name that Frosty gives himself when he writes his little stories about that assumed his name was bequeathed from you? I feel like I was supposed to do something and I forgot. I mean, are you talking about Hootsie? No. Who?

No. See? No. I was supposed to do something. You had an out of bed daughter that was captured by the Southby? No, fool. He means fuck a troll. That does sound familiar. It was probably that.

Yes. Did I fucking troll lately? I'm not aware of. Yes. Very close. She didn't want you. Ah. She didn't want you. She didn't want a long-term lasting relationship. I mean, I'm gonna get one of those over. I mean, I've got a lot going on.

You've got a sire of trouble and air. What? I've just saw in air. Yes. Trotterling air. I hate kids. No way. Oh, well, your kingdom will fall faster than already did. But so is mine. So, my too.

How are you saving your kingdom? Are we doing some like, are we doing something like, why am I dressed like this? Do you remember anything? I feel like I need to. You remember a big bugbear guy

named like Zolbeck or something? Torbeck. Oh, what was his name? Torback. Oh, Tolbeck. Yeah, whatever. You didn't lose all of your. your memories, you just lost all the fakers. No, bro, I mean, there's a lot of curses

that kind of scrabble in the brain. It's like all coming back, my eyes like, I don't think these fay really think about like the long-term impacts of all of these fakers. It's like playing professional football. You're not feeling like doing another one. Oh, now, come on, we gotta go get frost, let's go. Well, first we're gonna go get changed and then we're gonna go with frost.

Yeah, so on Frostington. All right, Giddges, come on. Well, this presence is needed. I need it. your help I want you to just and anybody's help just an embarrassing nickname Purvis soon-to-pervis Gricko your name's Purvis now oh my name is Purvis obviously do any other names like your main name or have you been pervers like you know my name has always been purpose okay oh Torbeck guys not yeah guys guys not yeah

Oh, that's right. Cremie, your breathing is now loud and obnoxious. No, Fronds isn't there. So Gideon, goblins now look like beautiful women. Burbis, you hideous squire. I mean, you beautiful, gorgeous squire. Oh. Yes.

I think I will say that era after all. They call me Pervina. There's only one way. Save my hailing kingdom would never defeat the Hobgoblin The hobgoblin Kingdom of Hobgoblin Tobia

Without a strong... What are you doing? Are you dying? No, I think it's a little bit of like Wake and Sleep apnea or something. Are you dying where you stand? Well, they call that wake apnea. I'd banish you from the kingdom if anyone

was left. There's nobody left. Nobody's left. Nobody's left. Nobody's left. What a tragic bend to your line. Well, it's not over yet. You're looking like that,

Oh, Peter. Well, thank you. I mean, I think we can bring it back. It's kind of something I kind of put together, I think. You know, it's like, I'm just like a king that sells very low-quality hamburgers. All right. Sounds delicious. I'll give you up 10 more minutes of guys' night.

And then we're going to go get changed, And then we're going to go good frost, you understand? Oh, Garsnacht. Do you think that, oh, now that we've, were a bunch of knocks and turned in Old Dorbeck and doomed him to a terrible fate, do you think, oh, Laslo is free? Laslo Gorgorovic.

Oh, yes. The most beautiful creature in the realm. Oh, please. Is she a tat? She's hideous. Not really. Compared to you. Not really.

Pervina. Oh. Oh, thank you. I would agree, but everyone's like, oh, a legend and nails are so pretty. I'm like, no, thank you. No more.

Tell it. All of that is happening, back in the wagon. Uh-oh. Frost. You have been led inside of a very... An invisible main chance. Oh, don't worry.

That's just my mind. Oh, bean. Don't do it. Don't worry. my hands and myself, that's my mind. I'm just using my imagination. Mmm. Mm.

Jesus fuck. Okay, so anyway, back inside the wagon. You are led inside by the world. He does not follow you in, but he does close the door behind you. And you find this place is very plush. There are, there's seating everywhere. It is covered in velvets and satins and silons and silver. of many different colors.

And though the colors are vibrant and varying range, they all somehow look like they belong together. This kaleidoscope of colors in front of you. And sitting at the very back of the wagon up against a large red tufted circular pillow is Mr. Light. His legs crossed one over the other as he twirls his weather vein in one of his hands. And he looks over at you and he pats the seat next to him

next to him with a smile. Thank you for inviting me. I appreciate your hospitality. How can I be in service, Mr. Light? Well, it's good to see you, Frost. It's good to see you. I must first offer you an apology for my performance in the Big Top. Did you hear the crowd, Frost? The way they cried at the back in my tragedy? Yes, I didn't mean to bring up some such a sad memory or to disturb the ground. Did you see the way they gasped? I did. When I showed them what my past was like.

It was very embarrassing for me. That was not my intent. It was magical. Oh. The way the audience engaged with such a deep and meaningful moment. Oh. Ah, that's performance, Frost. Performance to its core.

That's what the carnival's all about. You rolled with the punches nicely. This carnival, it's very common for you to suddenly be swept up in emotion and change by some sort of fay magic, I think. It's really taking me some getting used to. Do you know how the witchlight monarch is picked? I would like to very much.

That was actually going to be one of my questions. He spins the witchlight vein on his hand. This vein I have in my possession, it picks the monarch for me. It knows exactly who has altered the emotions at this carnival in the way that it needs to be altered to be crowned the witchlight monarch.

And Frost, it's leaning heavily toward you. I would like to be the monarch king very much. That surprises me and delights me. That's terrific. Yes. Now that I'm sitting here with you and I'm close to you, I see that you are not very charismatic. I am quite surprised by the Weathervane's choice. I'm not often described as charismatic. That is true.

Yes, quite bland and monotone. I don't know if bland is the word I would say. Oh yes, no, but it was my word choice, Frost. Oh, well. you've got me there my friends are almost certainly just waiting outside not doing anything would you let me know how I can

Would you like a fancy tart? A fancy tart? Yes or a cupcake A fancy tart would be fine Well I won't be busy for the next two hours Any winks at you? Where are the tarts? Tarts come You know

The tarts never kidding You know, why don't you just go ahead and have one of these cupcakes here? I look around for cupcakes. There's a tray of cupcakes on the table. They're the same cupcakes that you had when you won them. You see what I like to do with the icing on top is I pull the bottom off and I make something of a cupcake sandwich. Well, A, Vane, are you sure? And you watch as it spins and it slowly starts to stop and linger on you before it continues to spin.

in. Well, there is something about you, that's for sure. So tell me, how'd you do this trick? What are you here for? What are you looking for? What are you trying to get from the Witchlight Carnival? Someone like you isn't here for a night of fun and games. I am very much enjoying the fun and games. I hope to experience all of them without skipping a single one. As soon as my friends and I join each other, we'll be able to continue on and enjoy this carnival game. Sucker. So you're trying to tell me that someone with your talents, your ability and your lack of charisma is here solely to play carnival games and nothing else.

Well, I will admit that what prompted us to come to this carnival was something of a situation. We were going to be paid to actually see if we could investigate a little bit and find the patron of an elderly man who grows giant pumpkins. Investigate what, Frost? You are here at my carnival Investigator? You didn't bother to stop by and Talk to the proprietors of this place? We assumed

Then you would be too busy. I thought Maybe we would wait until the end of the carnival if we were going to You must be running this thing I can't imagine you're taking it. You look nervous, Frost. Do I make you nervous? And he leans in really close to you. No. Go ahead and have another cupcake. Just one more, perhaps.

Why don't you show me again the cute way you eat that cupcake? It's really quite ingenious. It keeps the frost... If you start with frosting, it's stuck to the top of your head. And if you... The frosting gets stuck to the top of your head? The mouth of your... The roof of your mouth.

Yes. I see. So tell me more about this person and who you're looking for. Well, his elderly gentleman, he mentioned to us that he thought that we might be able to find his... his patron here, or I believe it might have been a matron in this case. He's effectively a warlock, and he has been gifted phenomenal powers from this matron. And he wanted us to check in on her to see if everything was all right.

And he indicated that this carnival would be the best place to start. And did you get a name? The name of the matron or the name of the gentleman? Both. His name was... Matric Rostov. I have it written down. Patrick Roslov, actually.

Madrick Roslov, actually. And the name of his matron, Zabilnath. Either those names are familiar to you. Perhaps you can point me and my companions in the right direction. Never heard of them. Are you in Lee with a certain Kenku that's been causing a stink around the gonob? No, I'm shaking.

Absolutely not. Though I will say that we've stumbled across its path. My friend Kremi almost destroyed. the Kenku when he blasted away of bush at the dragonfly rider. You have a bit of frosting on your lip frost. Oh, thank you. And wipe it off. I think you got all of it.

Anyways, yes, we were at the Dragonfly riding god ride, and there was a bit of a kerfuffle. And unfortunately, we only found a feather or two, I believe, but... And if I tasked you with bringing this Kenku to justice for... maybe an answer to one or two or all of your questions, would you do it? Could you do it? To answer my questions, to perhaps point us in the right direction of Zabilna? Yes, you mentioned when I talked to you about the monarch,

the witch-light monarch, that you had a list of questions. If I was willing, and I could convince Mr. Witch to be willing to answer your questions, could you bring the Kenku to justice? Could you convince your unruly and incontrollable friends to do this task? They will join me. I don't know if I can say I can control them. Not yet anyway. My mind powers are still expanding.

However, what I will say is I think that's a fair cost. If you help me understand what the nature of justice is in a place like this, would you be the one to deliver said justice? or would you be the one to simply hand this kanku over to be? He puts his finger on your lips and shushes you. If you bring this kanku to justice, I will answer all of your questions. Well, I would typically consult my friends. They're currently on a mission for Mr. Witch.

They'll be indisposed for the next hour, so have another cupcake, Frost. Help me to do. to understand the nature of the Kenku's crimes. I know he put someone in danger at the ride, but... For podcast listeners, Derek is miming, peeling a cupcake, breaking off the

bottom and pleasing it on top of the cupcake before taking a bite. This Kenku snuck into our carriage in the hopes of getting answers to similar questions to yours. We have been doing what we can to find the answers to those questions.

Not to assist the Kenku, but we find the questions pertinent to our cause. Kenku is not pleased with our unwillingness to speak to them. Have another cupcake frost. Do I feel compelled to take the cupcakes? No. Okay. I have had quite a bit of kink already today.

But thank you. Would you prefer... Three cupcakes is enough. Would you prefer a tart? Do I see tarts? Technically. It is very tempting. I don't usually indulge in sweets like this.

It's just the carnival has me all riled up. The witch-like carnival has a way of playing with one's emotions and bringing out our true feelings, our true nature, if you understand what I'm saying. I hope that I can find the discipline and focus I note in my true heart to be there. He scoots over a little bit closer to me. What is that scent you're wearing, Frost? It's intoxicating.

This is just my natural musk, but thank you. Hmm. We should bottle it up, could sell it for a hefty price. Now, as I was saying, this Kenku has been causing a stink around the carnival because we would not give her the answers to the question she sought. And she believes if she were to make our carnival uninhabitable or unprofitable, we would be forced to give her the answer she seeks. This is not true. It will not work. She's not going to win.

She has a thorn in our side, and we would like to have her removed. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? I think I do. And I would agree with that mission. Just intrinsically, this is a fantastic carnival. What I would like is if you could promise me that the Kenku would not be injured or killed. I can't promise you that, Frost. But I can promise you you don't have to do the injuring or the killing.

I have another cupcake, Frost. I'm all right. You're thinking too much. No, no, I don't want to get... Yeah, let me light some incense, and he reaches over and he lights a stick of incense. the smell of elderberry fills the carriage. Is that elderberry? Oh, you have a very sensitive nose.

I've spent my life honing my senses. I'm quite sensitive to smells, visions, touch. He puts his hand on your thigh. So am I, Frost. I feel And we will go back to the other scene I feel conflict I don't think you understand

that I have to fuck a giant swanly I'm spent What was my curse What was my curse again? You gotta start writing this shit down The boss is about to get Bring me true Oh

I'm gonna get killed by some weird Troublood second what the fuck is gonna happen why I know the exact torment date I would never let that happen to you Povina oh I forgot that was your name again I was Lord Rodeandra oh Rodeandra yeah it's king Rodeandra is stuff Gid what do you mean Gid Rodea your name is Gideon no my name's always been purpose my name is King My name is Pervis. My name is King Rodiondra, ruler of a kingdom.

Alright, that one down. Oh, I did it was Farquistan. It was Farkelstein. Farkelstein. I mean, yeah. Falklstein. Ruler of Farklstein. Made export fire.

It's actually how we were ailing's. Then realize if you export just fire, you actually just burn everything down around you. Yeah, that sounds like, you know. Yes. Doesn't mix well with, like, logging. I fired all my advisors. Maybe you deserve to fail then yet. I mean, King Rodandra, whatever your name is?

Yes. Rodiantha, I think. Rodionra. Oh, right. Oh, okay. I was closer than you, Creming. You okay? Do you need like a lozenge?

Do you need like some flonase? You get some flonase? Okay, here. How you feel? How you feel? Oh, I think that actually... You know, it worked... About like a second.

Oh, that's usually how Flones works. Yeah, that's usually how hard. You know, flop right back up. Flonais never stood a chance. Okay, well, it is God's not. So, you know, I'm taxi, I mean, it's just stilada, and I think Feefei Nix has been replaced by King Rodeandra. Well, that's true.

There we go. I don't like that. It doesn't sound like it. You know what I'm saying? Oh, man, you know, like, I'm wearing like a crazy king outfit. Male cheap plastic. And a mouse. And a mouse.

Yes. I'm a king mouse. Yes. I am still wearing all of it, Cremely. Can I take your red cloak? I usually have one, but. Oh, I'm sure it'll fit you just fine. Yes.

Yes. It looks like a napkin. I'm going to use another quest of your head. Are you replacing it? I'm just giving an additional one for Crummy. You must sit. everything you speak. Oh.

Well, you know what? We gotta go. We go. We gotta get Frost. What are we doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Why are you singing everyone? I need to change my faith, okay? And Frost can see in the future, I think.

We gotta get prayers before Frost sees us. Why? It's guys not. I mean, but he doesn't really understand the content. really understand the context and like it's ironic to us, but I mean, is it really gonna be ironic to him? I think he won't understand that it's a joke. If he comes in and mediter res,

won't go out for him. Um, wait, does Frost you know what irony is? I don't think he does. And I'll say your singing can replace your heavy breathing. Thank you. To help your throat. My throat hurts. Oh, it did work.

Frost explained what irony was when we had to go through the double gate. Oh yeah, he knows what irony is. He comes on irony. He explained it before I did my great acting as filled as smartest pig in the world. I mean, there's a difference between understanding irony and really kind of getting guys and I, you know what I mean? Nothing for us. We love guys night. Oh, it was his last. We double crossed him.

Did we really double cross him? We did what was necessary to reclaim Lord Frostington, which we have yet to do. If you consider that we basically lie, well, do we really lie to him? I mean, we just sort of deceived him. If there's a difference, we deceived him. I mean, Tollbeck was kind of a bit of a cardboard pest.

Which is surprising. That's what. One way to put it, I would agree. Are we surprised, maybe? It's shocking. Come on, please help me. We're shocked. You're beautiful fool.

We're shocked. I mean, he doesn't know who Torebeck is, and I'm forced to sing everything. Maybe I'll sing a lot. Yeah, why don't we sing it too? Oh, you sound hideous, but you, the voice of an angel. My name is Gruko, and I'm here to say. You can hang.

with your friends, the responsible way. Yes. I do my rap, mind 90's, not even PG, G-rated rap as we find our way to Frost. The melodious tune of the beautiful range. You do make your way back to the big top. You notice, I'll say you check just to see

if you can find Laslo Grigorovich, but you do not see her anywhere. It appears that she waited and eventually left when Torbeck didn't show up. Oh. So you do make your way into the big top extravaganza. And through the exit into the stagehand area, it looks like your presence was known and no one seems to stop you.

And you make your way towards the costume closet, I guess, to change. That's for Crummy's the leader of the bunch. You know him well. And I'm finally back to get my coat. To get your coat tail. Oh, and don't forget to get eight hours of sleep. You better stay hydrated. Don't be cheap.

You can get power raid to get electrolytes. Do your milk. Orange juice slices. Eat your drugs. Don't do sleep. Don't do sleep. Get eight hours of drugs. I'm so confused.

Do you eight hours of drugs? Do you remember YTM&D? Oh, boomers. Hey, boomers. They're still here. I opened the costume. Okay, yeah. What are we dressed enough for cars and I with first.

You make your way over towards the costume area, and you see that standing in front of it is that same man that you saw that collected Torbeck. It is that bug bear. in the clown outfit. And he's standing in front of the entrance with his arms crossed looking frustrated. Hey!

And as you walk up, he says, sorry. Oh. closet's closed. That's not what I was expecting. You will be sorry, hideous clown. Don't even think about it. A knight of the honk-topia. Oh no, I think it's the foul hunknights.

Ugh. The hong-n-nights. the Honk Legion. I've killed many of your kind, Honk Knight. You won't stand between us and wherever we're going. I think he just challenged you to a duel, my king. Addual! Lord Grico!

By the God. Disrope me. What are you talking about? Oh. The closet's closed until after the grounding of the witch-Lay-Mor- Nothing is closed to King Rodeandra. I'm sorry, but Mr. Witch said the closet's closed, so. You're definitely swift.

Oh, would you... You may say that to us, but would you say that to a very wise and powerful wizard if he was here? You never see it. Just a hand puppet. What are you talking about? We're not here.

Hey, I'm a great powerful wizard. Uh, we're gonna this morning with a sore throat. You ever wonder, you ever wonder what the tax policy if there was a load of horses would be? No. What a do.

What a do. What a do. The name's Krammelah, Kru. Can I please get my coat? I told you the costume closet's closed. And I'm asking you to open it. No. Please, cons, sir.

I really needed. I was told under no circumstances was I allowed to open it. Oh, God, my sore throat. Oh! I wish you could hear what I really sounded like. like... I'm gonna cast medias from if you don't

move out of the way. You are just a hand puppet with no magical abilities are you sure about that? I'm gonna cast media and all the planets are going to die. We're gonna supernova. Eventually

are gonna eat up by the sun, which is the king of planets. So you better watch out there, Mr. Bugbear man. I'm a mighty powerful wizard. You can call me Jiggly the clown. Oh, Jiggly,

Gidia devil. Don't kill you. I don't want you to get haunted, but I got me of Jigley. Jigley, the clown, I know it, the hunknought. I don't want to know why the cold of jiggly.

First things first. Normally I would ask him to kill you, not really kill, but punch you, and given that you're dressed like a clown. I'm sure you're tired. Oh. Oh, no. I knew it. Lord Grico did, my flaming sword. I'm one of the

newest glounds. I replaced the last guy that died. He was killed by a flying meatball. Oh, Klatsy? Your tenure will be short. Oh, he was like, he was like real sick, right? Klazzi, like real sick. Like, he was on the way out, probably, you know what I mean? Like, there wasn't the meatball that killed him. It was just like the

meatball happened to be there when he just had a heart attack. I'm not sure. he sent a message to his family. We're hoping his wife and his kids will write back and let us know how he's. He's probably a loner in a drift. No family, no, no, Mr. King. Oh, no. He was a loving man.

Being a clown was what he'd always wanted. He'd just gotten this gig, too. He was so excited. Oh, well, better for him to die without having been a clown for too long than to live with the horror. Ah, Males, I will give you your flaming's home. Oh, yes.

I'm going to give the wizard. Hand puppet. All right. Jiggly the clown. Don't you dare get, please? What? You're already haunted by enough clowns. Gigily the clown stands between us and what we seek,

and he will stand no longer. Why don't we just obey the rules for once? That's right. You might get taken by a pig. Oh, that horrible gross frog thing, or the spooky moon. Lady. You kindly put your hands behind your back and not remove them, make a wisdom saving throw. Oh no.

The chat is like, the chat is blood thirsty. They're trying to get you to kill this clown. 11. You fail. Your hands are behind your back. He can still kick. Lord Cremington. What is the meaning of this? What's the room to? But you can't get closer to the clock. And also your hands are behind your back. All right, good.

That's enough. Jiggly. Yeah. That would kill you if my hands weren't magically behind my back. Come behind me. Come behind me so that I might lay you low. I'd suggest you not be. that. Roll a persuasion throw.

I can't roll! My hands are behind my back! Mace can! Jiggly! I got it. He sucks. He just sucks. No, my persuasion's very good. It's two.

I don't think I want to do that. Of course you don't, you cowardly clown. Yes, you cowardly clown. What of it? What of the no great king, Rodiandrath? There's no teardous. There's no tea. age at the end. Your flaming sword

my leaves. Yes, it's behind me. I just want to fit in, so I'm singing and also indulging, Giddyin. I thought your flaming sword was in the front of you. Rachel, please. Stop giving in to his delusions of grandeur. So you're holding a flaming

sword behind you? Well, it is a wizard of speaking. It's a wizard puppet. He can use media swore. My metaphorical flaming sword. He's a ninth level spellcast. Nine to the level.

wizard, spellcaster, Gary the Great. I think it was Gerald or something. Gerald. You are having this conversation, and you, I just rolled a natural 20, that's the only reason this is happening. Come on, Jiggly!

You are in this conversation with Jiggly the Clown, and you, there's commotion behind you. The staff area is a bustle with people getting ready for all sorts of things. in the big top, there are many acts that are happening all the time. It's not just a big top extravaganza. As you hear a yelp and a clatter, as you turn to, well, some of you turn to look, you see that they were getting ready to take the clown car, the small clown car, into the tent to do one of their, one of their hourly acts. And one of the clowns, as he was trying to get

out tripped and fell directly into Gideon's sword. completely running him through. My sword is a hand puppet. It's fine. It kills him. It's... It's... ...incredibly old, and the moment he hit the ground...

He was allergic to felt. He was allergic to felt, and he hit the ground, and he dies. And you hear Jiggly go, Oh no, Bumbo the Clown! Bumbo! You're welcome. Yeah! What are you? What we're surrounded by enemies?

Hunknights abound in every direction. All of the clowns begin to yell and they rush over to Bumbo the clown. They realize that yet another clown has died this night. You gotta kill me. No, I can save him. Hold on, let me just see what's left of his feldon. His skin is like bubbling from where the felt hit him.

It was a really, really horrible reality. Lord Grickleton, your beauty should not look upon such a horrible visage. Turn away, please. I was just joking about the media school. I think that's actually a wizard in the puppet dear. I, I, I, I, I can say, well. Can you release drag, Grico, please? Oh.

So the popping on his face. It's the bubbling. At least try to heal him if you can. It looks like a pizza in the other. Oh, damn it, Krem. I'm a druid, not a miracle, woker. And with that, I'm going to use another twist of dread.

And Gideon, the voice of the last person you killed tells you things about their life. No one wants to know. However, he's just recently dead. So the voice of Clutzy. Derek, can you be klutzy for me? Clotcy, klutzy, klutzy, klutzy, klutzy, clotzy, I'm so klutzy today. I'm klutzy, klutzy, clotzy, clotzy, clancy, I'm so klutzy today.

Oh, hi, Mr. Gideon, it's a pleasure to meet you, sir. Oh, goodness. It's so nice to be here in clown heaven. That's what I'm going to be spreading joy and laughter for days. Years the eternity, not in hell. No, honk night. With your allergy to hobgoblin oysters, horrible frame, you couldn't stand one single blow.

From 500 yards away, and you died from allergy. I don't mind, I'm going to be able to spread joy and laughter from heaven forever. No, you won't stop enjoying anything. You idiotous. Would you like a joke? I can make you laugh. Oh, for God, there's nothing. Free my hands, Lord, Gremend.

I have to kill him a second time. You're going to kill the rest of the clowns if I do that, yes, please. Cluncy won't be the last person I've killed. It'll be Bumbo. And then you'll be haunted by four clowns. No, I think it's in a line kind of thing. It'll line up to torment me for eternity.

It's just one at a time, maybe. Intimit. Oh! Hey, Chuckles, how are you doing? It's great to be here. Oh, gosh. Golly G. Are you sure you don't want to hear a joke?

can squeeze my nose, I can make it honk, and I can say, smell you later. Chuckles, hunk night. I will figure out a way to wind to hell if you kill klutzy. Turn upon your comrade. I knew you would miss me. What are you doing? Careful what you wish for. It starts to like down pitch.

I'll go ahead and hug my nose now for you, Mr. Gideon? Ugh. Good, it's a classic, clutzy maneuver. We had a club, you know, classic klutzy club, but we had to shut it down because of reasons. Oh, good, I had my last good laugh when you did your normal fall. After that fake goblin, hobgoblin meatball hit you.

And you did, and you died. I laughed like this. To laugh even harder when I slipped on. Oh, possible. When I slip on this banana peel. Whoa, whoa. It's not so bad. I can't wait for Bumba.

Hopefully he kills himself again. Oh, get off, I'll get off. And that happens. I'm here. I have to have a serious conversation with you. It's Lord Ruriantra. Lord Grickleton. What point do you want me to put you out of your misery?

Derek. Just knock me out. Thank you. I'm haunted by horrible honk. nights. Bumbo hasn't shown up yet, but I know he's still dying. Making his way to... He is still slowly dying. I'm like, hold on, hold on, no.

I think disc ribbed his face, his teeth kinda go. Hold on, hold on. How did that even happen? Povina will try, but when he came in contact with my horrible felt wizard, you can see how weak he was. His face is boiled and his teeth had fallen from the. from his face, right out, right out of his mouth into the ground.

Gerald the Good was quite, he was quite a powerful wizard. You watch as the small pixie acrobats and contortionists make their way out to the big top to replace what was going to be the clown car performance. As the clowns rush to try to say Fumbo, it's very clear that he is not going to survive this, and they all realize it, slowly rush him to, or as they quickly rush him to the candy striper pixies. But it looks grim. You never even save him, don't even try. I assume that they were going to take him to the clown car, but it's not like a hearse because of the tiny car. It's like stuffed out. And then push me that.

And then open a piece of luggage and like shove them in there. It was in like a suitcase. Yeah, Rich, you better start thinking about what your clown voice is going to be. I'm covered in blood and clown guts. You know, I've never, you could have given me, you could have given me one million guesses about what death lock by puppet looks like. And I never. I misunderstood. I thought it was a blade. I committed.

I committed it. This is better. This is better. I never would have... I think it's a curse. I don't know what to do. And I really wish I didn't have to sing everything. Oh, neither do I.

May I say, the red is your color. Oh, no, blue is more color. It's more favorite color. Because, you know, it's the best flavor of all the candy that you get. It's like, oh, what's this? I would taste. Oh, it's a blue piece. flavor. Well, it's flavored lock blue, right? Okay. No, that's not very good. I'm covered in gore.

Gizzers under my armpit. And yes, they are still in their in their drag outfits, now covered in gore. Oh, in speaking of the horrible murder, Gigli, I wonder if he assisted with the disposing of old Bumbo I walk to see if jiggly is still there. You look and you see that jiggly is not there. The door is still closed. The jiggly's not there. How about that? Nice distraction, Gideon.

A little maca bray, if you ask me. Well, it's exactly what they deserve. So, is it maca bray? Maka, yeah. Let's go. I just... Boardroom change. Want to change.

I mean, I'm covered in real blood. Crummy's covered in fake blood. You still look fantastic. But it's guys not, we've got to get changed because we all kind of smell like Tallbeck a little bit, a lot of it, frankly. We all kind of stink like Tallback, you know. I can help with that if you need... Stink like Toolback?

If you need a hand, I can snap my fingers and make you smell a little less like piss. Well, I'll get us some... I change. I'll find something that fits all over. of us. No, he's black on the way. No, he's gone. Tiggly has gone. Tiggly helped dispose of the corpse of, uh, Bumbo. They get weaker and weaker every time. I can't keep them on street. I feel like these, these clowns are just begging to die. Yes, well. Well, at least there's only five more of them, right? Is that what you said? There was a great prophecy on my kingdom.

I have a great prophecy too. My future heir, uh, uh, uh, Globo de second will Slay me in my sleep. No other second grimgrim. Do you sleep on your stomach, poor Vina? Oh, I do, yes, of course. That makes sense. The prophecy was used to stab you in the back. Oh, if I learned to sleep on my bag.

My future troubling air can not get to jump on me. You just have to check onto the bed every night and ensure he doesn't stab you up through the map. Perhaps to avoid my fate, I should not fuck a troll, But even though I'm not under new fame magic, I kind of want to now. The theory has been locked in your mind. I know what that feels like. It's in the vault now.

Once you consider it. Hi everybody. It's Gary Goodberry here. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of adventurers and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including monthly movie nights and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign. set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked mood.com to pick up your own copy of our first published

supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thanks. Goodbye. Alright, can I get out of this dress? Yeah, okay, let's see what we got here. I'm gonna go.

Uh, so you're gonna go up to the door? It's locked. How sturdy? Use your face. My face. I'll lock my hands and I'll use my flaming sword, wizard and Gerald. Killer of clowns. Wizarding Gerald has fell to many a foe in just the last 10 seconds.

This door stands no chance. If you can do that with your hands behind your back, I'm worried about what you do to the rest of the clowns if I let you go. Are they still here? No, they're gone. They're with the pixie. I'm like standing behind it. Somebody give me a toothpick. I got some sinew in my molars.

Ew. All right. I bash the door on my head. Okay, roll to attack. 12 to hit the door with my head. Yeah, that hits. Roll damage. Okay, okay.

Nine. You do nine points of damage to the door and it does splinter down the middle. You'll take five points of damage as you crack part of your, as you split part of the skin on your forehead. And you're right above your eyebrow, you're bleeding, and you have a really bad splinter. Oh God, I get.

I kind of feel bad about this, but do it again. Yes, that was mine as well. I hit it again. Roll to attack it. I don't want. 17 to hit. Yes, you were able to hit the dorks. It absolutely, it's,

blitz in two as you take six more points of damage as your eye swells up and it gets that bloody film that happens when you push too hard on your eyeball. It's pretty gross and nasty. You have a splinter there too. Oh, yeah. Pabina, yes. Yes, what?

Are you looking disrobe me? I'm looking at your face. I'm looking at your face. Yes. I don't blame you. Let me just... Let me do a little bit of my magic. I just rub bananas on your face, like mashed up bananas.

And you'll feel over ten points of... Oh. You'll get ten points of feeling. You have any way... Any other way to do that? Since the barrow... Any other way to do that. Well, I can do other ways, but this just allows me to...

I'll feel a little peckish, and I'll want a banana. I can be very thorough about it and meticulous. Matikilus. Quite nice, quite meticulous. Okay, well done, Gideon. I'm sure that we won't be visited by Ms. Pig when we peel for this costume closet. Well, we're just getting our own clothes back.

Oh, our clothes are missing. Oh, I mean, what? Our clothes are missing. And it's as you say this that you watch as three people walk out of the costume closet. They just kind of step over the rubble. They look at you bleeding and tied up. They look confused and they are wearing your clothes

as they walk past you and head towards the, Hey! Let's go. Hey! They don't stop and they just make their, they're clearly running. They're running very late as they zip right into the big time. Give the fuck back here, please.

I need that code. Frost can't seem like this. Well, we got clown guts all over it, and it's God's not. So gals, we need to change. Taxi Dermy needs a retirement party. Roll a D-100. What is the banana? What did you rubbing the banana on my face?

10 points of healing. Oh, D-100. I rolled the fucking D-20. 67. You find, essentially a Monopoly Man outfit. It's got a top hat and a monocle. for those who are on a different timeline when the Monopoly Manhattan Monocle.

And a cane, a nice pair of shoes, some slacks and a waistcoat, as well as a little plastic pocket watch. Hey, look at me, what a do, what to do everybody. Give me those fucking clothes. No, it's, oh, it's, oh, it's, it's just for a made for a gnombering. Yeah, it's gnombergoblin-sized.

Look at me, what to do. Let me try. I am sorry, finders keepers. Alright. You don't pass go. I'll take what's left. Oh, how do I look? 92.

Hella blue. You're quite dashing. Oh, look at the time. Time to die. You find the outfit of a very tall ornate dwarf. Beard and metal helmet with, like your classic Halloween dwarf with the horn hat and. It's clearly a yarn beard.

Ah. How do I look? Oh, Trevy. I don't know you want an accent. Do you like the accent? You can lead my armace. You look ready for battle. Why are you talking like that, though?

You sound weird. That's my full of an accent. Do you like it? Ah, I guess. Oh, now I hear. I never knew. Now I hear. When you say those words, I get a need it.

I did a stage theater on the riverboat, you know. Oh, I mean, I fucking sang that. I don't know. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Forty-nine.

What did you? What I do? What I do? It's me, Kremi. Would anyone like to spend four hours playing the worst board game? No to mind. Only if we play better. You know, Monopoly.

You find the costume of a wooden nutcracker, but the costume, costumes built as if they had confused Christmas and Halloween because it is a nutcracker Doolahon, which is like a headless horseman. So you're holding the nutcracker head in your arm. You understand what I'm saying? That's a nightmare. I know. So you're a headless nutcracker. So you're a headless nutcracker. So the costume sits where the shoulders and the head are right here and it's got a nutcracker head. There's like a little rectangular thing. in the... Gideon, you look quite nice. Lord, Roreandra. I mean,

King, Roreandra. You look quite regal. I'll find something for frosting. I'll know what he likes. I'm gonna go find some caffeine. Derek roll for yourself. I know exact. I'll know he's measurements. 33.

2433. You find the costume of a glass vial filled with nail clippings. Perfect. Oh, Frost is going to be a drag queen? Frosci's gonna love it. Frosz is gonna love it. Oh.

Oh, it's gonna be so excited when he learns it. We already did all the games, all of the attractions, and we had a wonderful guys and that way and he didn't have to suffer through it. You can be so excited. He loves timeliness. I could change it if you want. There's another one that's as long.

a similar vein. Of nail clippings? I'd like to move away from the nail clippings. How about a different thing? You could be a sexy sprite inside of a clear glass bottle. Now we're talking. That's fantastic. You can be that instead then, so that you can live your drag queen dreams.

Thank you. Welcome. Listen. It's perfect. That's pretty funny. Gotta give it out. Oh! And I just swipe in the air and suddenly

it just fucking disappears. Fossey's going to love it. Let's go. Ha! He! Ha! Ha! We speed run to Frost

because we've got to get all this fucking heist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We Dark Souls roll the entire way there. And you do. You make your way out of the costume. You have procured a costume for Frost. And you are, making your way.

And for the sake of it, all of your costumes are a little bit sexy. So the difference with your costume is from the front. It looks great, but these pants are assless. So as you turn around, you see these two ends. They've got clear vinyl, so you better not fart because it'll fog up. It'll fog up. Yeah. But be able to meet the way, please.

That's foggy. It's a dope. The feelings of people monopoly, man. I watch a show every night. Instead of a gray mustache, it's just the handlebar. Is it gray angles water? No, I'll take the mustache, I'll pull off, whizze.

What? Just making my nose tickle. Wow. Wow. How do I turn this up? Pooz. Pooz. I sneeze as I speed run,

an ocarino time through the, uh. The dwarf outfit has no shirt, but it does have little nipple clamps. Um, are they connected by chain? Yeah, no. You can't have said like the balky like, oh, no, they look like hammers. Like, like, you know, like the opera comical, like breastplate?

You could, but that's not what I decided. You got hammer nipple clips and you'll like it. Okay, fine. You have, you have like the Madonna boobs made out of metal. Yeah. But inside of them are nipple clamps that connect with a chain.

That's the only way they stay on. They're strapless. It only stays on by gripping. It only stays on by clipping. I'm a riptoe. It's clipping something. Oh, I mean, you've seen, you've been to Scarleth.

You've seen some lizards with big old honkers, right? In what? Scarum 2. Oh, Skyrim. Yeah. Scaram. Scaram. Scaram. Oh, Gideon, you're awake. And then Gideon's outfit is actually just fine, because I can't think of a way to sexualize a nutcracker. You can't? Are you saying?

Of all the costers, that's the one you can't figure out how to sexualize? Oh, yes, my God. No! No, you know. It's a giant fucking chest. Ryan fucking chestnut on his cross and you put the head and just walked around with the head hangs in that way. Also, no arms. I think just full, full naked arms. Oh, I'm not holding it. It's on my flaming sword.

My other flaming sword. Yeah, you have two roasted chestnuts hanging from the front of you. I've seen horrors beyond mortal comprehension. Let's look for taffy, please. Her favorite taffin? Oh, did you say you wanted some tapie? Yes, please. Yes, for the matter.

Sure. And she passes out taffied each of you. Oh my god. Do I really got to wear this? Ugh. It's a little snubbed. And I thought my last costume was revealing. How do I look?

What do you think, Gid? You look, you're cured of your faith. Curses, yeah. You look like a, you look. I can't concentrate with this. Did I kill another clown? Yeah, you did, yeah. Oh, fuck.

And I tried to stop you. What I'm trying to say is that you have a terrible curse that's following you, I guess presumably until death. Well, why the hell are all these damn clowns so fucking allergic to just normal stuff? Oh, could I have my puppet back? Yeah. Here. Now, I think we burn the puppet.

Maybe the puppet. Have you always had the puppet? I think I wanted it a carnival game. Oh. Do you think, do you think Lord Gerald Good is cursed to kill clowns? Well, no, he killed clowns.

He killed like two clowns before we got that thing. Yeah, but to be fair, that one just like fell on the puppet and died immediately. That's what I'm saying. The curse is you, good. I didn't even touch him. I mean, my hand was covered in the puppet. That exactly my point.

He nursed to kill clowns! But he didn't come into contact with me. His face exploded. He looked like pizza in the oven. He was bubbling. Grico couldn't help him by rubbing bananas all over his face, but I think he tried. When you realized that the killing blow was when he hit,

you stepped backwards with your high heels and you pierced right into his eyeball. Oh, well, actually, it might have been not the puppet at all, but that time I pierced him straight through the brain. High heels. It could have been, I don't. I don't think this one's manslaughter. I don't know.

Well, I mean, I think that's still accidental if you stepped on his face accidentally. That's still manslaughter. And especially, like, a stylish, charming peacock high here, you know? Yeah, I mean, I thought he wanted. I mean, I don't know, his face was basically melted. I think it was a bad case of Feltsburn, you know? He sort of slid against the puppet. I think that he cast media swarm.

I still think, I think that Lord Gerald the Good is evil. Look, I'm gonna look into some spells. And you say all of this as you're making your way towards the carriage where you know that Frost is waiting. And you notice that as you get there, the carriage is just shaking violently. As it's rocking back and forth. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Inside, you and Mr. Light have had an hour to have a really nice conversation. You've played some.

He pulled out a book of crossword puzzles and you did those together. You had more cake against your better judgment. I'm gonna jump on the bed. And then he wanted to see how you would react to this cool magical contraption that he had, that him Mr. Light had created as he waves a laser around the carriage, and you chase it rocking the carriage back and forth as you're trying to catch the laser. This is surprisingly realistic. And that is what's happening on the inside of the carriage.

You walk up to it and you hear the sounds of huffing and puffing as the carriage rocks back and forth. Oh, Jesus. Well, he looks like he's having a good time. Your ring is getting roughed up in there? Yeah. For what it did? Yeah. Well, you know, you think Mr. Lai's taking care of it himself?

Doesn't seem like the type to get his hands dirty unless it's for a good reason. Well, hold on. Let me take a listen. What are the noises that he hears? Move it slower, Mr. Leint. I want to try to catch it. It doesn't sound like he's in pain. If that's what you want, Frost, I'll move it as slow as you like. It's a remarkable thing.

Let's make it a little bit faster. Hmm, yeah. The slowness is making me tired. I want it faster. Move it as fast as you can. I'm going to go as fast as I can. All the way around. They have no other own guy's nice. Oh, I do Lenny and Squee from Laverne and Shire.

Unfortunately, you are not able to open the door. Hello, no, fuck! You feel a bump on the trailer, on the wagon as Grico slams into it, but this magically locked door does not just open for anyone, and you are rocked to one side. Mr. Light looks at you and says, well, Frost, it looks like our time together has come to its end. It seems like your band of merry gentlemen is outside waiting for you. Thank you for having me.

It's been a lovely evening spending time with you. It has been. I hope we shall do it again. I would like that. You remember our deal. You come back with the Kenku, and you can have all the answers you're looking for. But he looks at a watch on his hand. It must happen before the crowning of the witch-light monarch.

The moment after, Carnival will close. I appreciate your guidance. Thank you. This has been a most enlightening evening. unlock the door for you and you may away. You know what to find me when you've captured the fiend. Yes, here. Yes, good sir, yes. Very good. He squeezes your thigh. It's been a lovely, lovely time. Yes, indeed. I turn and I open the door and make my way out. Before you unlock the door. Uh, Grigger, that's not how you do it. You got to put the weight in your

shoulders. I'd like to slam my head into the door after Grito charges them. Roll and attack. Hey, guys knife. Roll a two, seven to hit the door. Okay, you hit the door, taking 18 points of damage as you slam your head into an absolutely unmoving door. You hear the crack. All of you hear it as Gideon's nose breaks and blood begins to spill out. Yeah. I think it's one of those pull open doors, not push in doors.

Oh. To turn the handle and try to turn that outwards. Well, fuck, what is that made of? Yeah, you turn the handle and try and pull it outwards and it is at this moment that Frost opens the door and falls out at you. It was my pleasure, Mr. Light. Huffing and puffing from all of the running you did. Is he covered in cream? Oh, he's got, he's got bits of frosting stuck in his fur.

It's a nice white, uh, fronfinery. frosting that's clearly dried into the fur around his mouth. And I look at each of you. Does no. What a dude? Oh, hey, bro. How was your guy's name? You know what I mean?

Guys, what the fuck? Oh, you wanna be a sexy fairy? In a jar. Look, just do it, all right? I thought you guys were just waiting outside here. It's a carnival thing. Oh no, we had a whole adventure. We finished all we had a whole adventure.

whole adventure yeah we flatten them to whole carnival we yeah the whole carnival without me it's been like 10 hours it's only been an hour it's only been an hour no no mr witch uh he he like slowed down time from us is what grico's trying to say anyway put the fucking outfit outfit on right what did i miss i mean i will but what did i miss oh we just Play some games. So, so, yeah. So we, oh, you got some sweets in there? No way, you got these cakes in there?

There were tarts and cakes. Oh, very nice. Who's left? You've got me all up, you hungry, bees. I didn't think I was still hungry after all the cake that you and I can beat it against. But these, something about this place, very magical. You come to find there's always room for cake.

Indeed. Yeah, yeah. I got Boston cream in there at the very least. So you, you and in, you're like, oh, this will be fine. This is the bugbear. I'm sure he wants to talk about it. So then you went in there.

Hold on, hold on. Why do you smell like piss and bacon grease? You are not going to. I'll get to that. Do I want to know? It's guys not. It was guys not. Okay.

I mean, just us three fellas. It was guys not. And tourback. And tour back. And he was what that smell is like. And he was sitting next to them. Oh, hey, who? And I was like, Toolback.

And I said, oh, he said Toolback. And Clemmy's like, who? Oh, and I'm like, hey, wasn't he the big game operator and also climbed the Harris wheel? And Kremmer was like, oh, yeah. He never came and rioted when all of them was trying to run us out of town. And we were like, yeah.

And we said, hey, Toobach, and he said, uh, my favorite co-workers. It's so great to see you. I get the piss smell. here for a job. And we're like, on the last night, four hours in, and he said, and I go on like

this, right? We're just standing, man. Yeah. We don't move. Oh, you went to the snail races. I don't have a calendar. You went to the known poetry. I'm going to. No, I'll get to that, Frosty. I'll get to that. And also, oh, you should have

you should have Clementine. Remember his girlfriend? Who's not cardboard? You know, I don't think he actually smelled like piss. That's just this natural smell. It's really remarkable. Why does he smell like goblin piss and that's what I was. It's his natural smell. He's a goblinoid. And he wouldn't remember Clementine.

He kidnapped Clementine when he got here. Well, that comes later. That comes later. Well, you just mentioned... You're just spoilted the whole story. Well, I... I was going to know that we were basically kind of just being a bunch of fugs for Mr. Witch. It's not about the destination, Grico.

It's about the ride. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to make an arch epic tale for Frosty. So does it feel left out. We did all those games. We also, I have this puppet that's covered in clown. Gideon accidentally killed it of a clown. Yeah.

That's number three. Oh, number three. Yeah, yeah. I got to run and count. We got to set the track back to zero. Torbeck almost fucked a pixie, an eladrin, a cyclops. I won the race. I tried to, I almost fucked a troll.

You want me, you had the opportunity. You declined. Oh, she wasn't looking for. for anything. She wasn't trying to siren air. She wasn't trying to be the queen of Goblin Topia. She was just trying to use me for my money. Maybe she just knew Goblinopia didn't exist. How dare you? Guys, what the fuck? I leave for just a brief moment, and you do Thugcraft for Mr. Witch?

You're a fucking Aaron. I feel like we were almost compelled for all this to happen. Well, I will put on this outfit. Is there a place to change, or should I pop back into Mr. Lights wagon, so to speak? You do it right here. And I make myself into a sprightly figure. Yes. Mr. Frost has become the morning frost. You essentially look like a tinkerbell in a jar, but a glowing tinkerbell in a jar.

So the jar is like hanging off my shoulders and like, oh, I feel like I'm almost like a, like a. drag queen. Mr. Frost has become Mrs. Light. What should my drag queen name be? What? What's a drag queen? Is it? I just mentioned that I feel like, you're pointing at me. Yeah, what are you talking about? Having a fun, ironic, feminine persona and guys, not of all things. Frosty is ridiculous.

I can't ring you on. It's very unbecoming. I am capable. Get out of there, Frosty. I've seen everything. I've seen it all. I think we've already kind of done that for last eight hours. I mean, it does. It feels like... Yeah, it's old hat at this point. Yeah, no, you were kind of...

I was going to solicit some ideas from you, but if you want to skip it, then's fine. I mean, I'm a dwarf, though. See my hat? Do you have a name? Do you have a name? I mean... Should I just call you Kremie or you have... Angus. Oh.

That's a pretty good wolf name. Angus. Oh, Angus. Stout. Stout. Stout. Beard. Angus Stoutbeard

Did it come with a beard about wearing a false beard? A yarn beard, yeah. Oh, that's right, the yarn beard. At the end of your, I don't know. Yeah. All the way around. Yeah, all the way around.

Angus Stout beard. Famous dwarf of dwarf toopia. Dwarflandtopia. Dwarfetopia. You're not very creative, are you? Dwarfopia. What about like the

Highland? Oh, dwarf. Oh. Or like, I don't know. Anything else besides Topia? I don't know. I kind of like dwarfopia. Dwarflandopia.

Yeah, me too. Dwarfetopia. I like it. We're gonna stick with that. Don't try to workshop it. Anyway, what do you learn? I mean, you spent like eight hours with that guy. What's your drag queen?

Oh, um... I have, uh, off the top of my head. I have perhaps eight names I could think of. Would it be relevant to your improvised costume? What's evening doing? Keep it moving. Well, you tell me what you think is most appropriate. Why can't I find it now that I... Ah, yes, you could call me Hissy Fit?

No, no, no. No. Litter box. You're not dressed like a cat. After what you did in there. Catia? You're not dressed like the cat. It should be...

It's supposed to be connected to the theme. Maybe we should call you Twinkerville. True paw, but actually I think, I actually think that's better. Twinker Bell is. Twinkerbell is perfect. Twinkerbell fits you like to glass. Thank you.

Also, look at how nice and some sheep is my legs look. Brickle my fucking legs. If there is not a drag queen named Twinkerville, there is something wrong with this world. I guarantee, I guarantee. I guarantee. Oh, my God. Now that we've gotten past that milestone, it's an important hurdle to jump.

Yes, we enjoyed most of the hour and deep conversation, and we enjoyed some puzzles. Oh, oh, very important. He's solicited us to see if we can hunt down the Kanku. Did you say the thing? What's that? Frosty, you didn't say the thing? What thing is that?

Well, you said... You're going to be saying canc-coo? No, why would I say it like that? Because that's the coolest thing that anyone's ever said. Well, you just said it. He would have been so impressed with you. Well, we'll save it. What a waste of it?

Well, yeah, well, now we have to save him. Well, punch him, but he'll die. And then you say, can't cool, more like, can't, you're dead. I don't know. You will talk. Well, there was a moment towards the end where I said, thank you, Mr. Light. This has been most enlightening.

Huh? Welcome back, Frosty. Thank you. Oh, man. Welcome back to a I mean, Trinkebell. Thank you, to say. That's, uh,

Grico, I guess. It's just... Did he give you any leads on where this Kanku might be and why they're being a terrorist? Uh, political enemy. Apparently,

he's been trying to shut down the carnival through his mischief so that he could ask them some... It's a she, right? Apparently they have baton. been trying to stop the carnival for this purpose. And he didn't go into too much detail about the nature of what the Kenku is after. And perhaps we can talk to them when we see them.

But we will be gifted much knowledge. He will answer any questions that we might have about the carnival or perhaps Belvena. If we bring the Kenku to them and allow them to deliver justice. do you get the kind of sense of how easily parted he might be that weather vane? Oh. Do you want to steal the weather vane?

I don't steal it, I just mean, you know. We would never steal anything. That's rude number one. No gives his back. Let's say we would have found it or he would just to give it away or trade for it or play a game for it. You immediately hear a

coming from the side of the trailer and you notice that Burley, the bug bear, has been standing there all along with his arms crossed. He looks out at you and he says, you're thinking about stealing that weather vein, huh? I skirt my eyes out. Are you thinking about stealing that weather vane? Not me.

You know what it can do? I know what it can do. We can do. Mr. Lane also told me what it can do, and I'd be happy to share it with you. but we need to go back and do all the things that you guys did again. I want to go on all the rides. I want to go to the slam poetry game.

I want to enjoy the snail racing. I want to look on the map. There's a million and one. We already did all that for the shit. No, it's all done. No, we're fucking going. When you guys go, I'm going to have a conversation with Bungo here, and we're going to figure out.

The name's Burley. Burley, that's right. Oh, Burley. How is your friend? Tollbeck doing? Is he still among the living? Who? Toolback.

He's a big, uh, Bugbear fella. Never heard of him. He wore a can of bean on his. Really? You never heard of him? You were right next to him. You were right, he was right? What?

He was wrong down. He dragged him away. And he said, oh, my name is toolbox. You're taking toolback away. How could you know the food his name? Yeah. When you take him, when you retire him, you

just kind of, you know, who? Tollbeck retired? Well... Look, we know one of the rules of the carnival's not stealing, right? We know what happens to people who steal, and then we know that

Torbeck stole, isn't that right? Stole quite a bit. Stole funds, multiple times for work, committed once. He was a bit of a cardboard pest, I would say... So he's hanging out

with Hootsey with the Salpig. Oh, by the way, Grigl's forgotten who he is. Who? I'll figure that out. Oh, wow. Hootsie? That's a deep cut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um... Would you believe me, Grico, if I told you that there was someone who you loved very much named Hootsey. That's preposzsche. Okay. I've never met a Hootsey in my entire life. That's deep magic. I would just say, you say, oh hey, it's Hootsey.

I'll say who. This is actually white heartbreaking. Hootsy? Oh, by the way, I came up with my name. Oh, yes. My name is Gruncle Electrum Banks. Oh, I see. You have to call me that now.

Gruncle. Gruncle. Yeah, yeah. This is kind of weird. This is it kind of weird? Why would it do that? Let me see if there's some sort of mechanism's, like it just marshes along.

Yeah, it looks like a little fussy cat. Maybe that's what it's supposed to do. I don't really get it. Why is the surface of that so tacky? I don't know. I don't think it was washed. It kind of smelled. I smelled off.

A little Torbicki? No. No? No. Like a can of alba gortuna. Yeah. I was going to get a joke in Ireland, and I stopped myself, and Nikki is a sort of to go there. I had the self-control to not make a surf into a joke, okay?

I did it. Zzz. Zzz. Z, z-z-z-t. Uh. Uh. Well, and what haven't you done? Have you done every ride?

Have I missed out on the whole car? We got nothing done. It was like eight hours and we got nothing fucking out of that. No, all we did was ride all the rides and play all the carnival games. I wanted to do that. No, we did all the games.

And we did the snail races. I think that's all you missed out on. We did the snail races and, yeah, and the games, but we didn't do Pixie Kingdom. We didn't do the Pixie Kingdom. So we didn't do the, you know, because we didn't do the thing. You know that the Ferris wheel was outside of Pixie Kingdom.

You've never actually gone into Pixie Kingdom. We have a dome. Pixie Kingdom is the point. I mean, we were sort of around it, and we did all the games around it, but... Torbag did Pixie Kingdom. I mean, that guy fucks, let's be honest. He wishes.

He's such a grotesque crazy. I mean, he really cleaned up. I mean, everyone here. I guess it's quite impressive, frankly. Maybe it's like he's, it's like he's so repulsive that it kind of comes back around and becomes suddenly like attractive.

It's like a flat circle. Anything in its extreme becomes its opposite. So the piss smell must be like Dior to some. Do what? Salage. And Dior? There was that gentleman Dior who fell Cologne on the street corner.

You don't remember that? Where? In Agway. In Agway? Oh, was that the guys like, oh, with a pros and sod? It's Cologne. It's just a little, it's literally like pig fat.

That's exactly how he sounded. I got it exactly right. He's called it. That's name was Dior. I think that was his last name. It was on the sign. Oh. Oh, we's doing all right.

In Torbeggis, the pig fat guy. Oh, Dior. What happened to Torbegg? So you're just going to leave Burley there in the bottom? No, oh, no. You guys want to go. I'm going to talk to him. Oh, no.

We can wait. We can wait. Oh, so anyway. There was a great Ferris wheel, and then Gideon could hear you through the veil. Where can we speak privately? We can speak right here. Right here? Can't go anywhere. You think they can hear us out here? They're not listening to us right now.

I wouldn't be bad for a second, but... No one would know better than I would. He insists. What's your proposition, Fran? Bad things have been happening at the carnival for a while. People and things have been going missing. And bosses know more than they're telling. But their hands are tied somehow, I'm not quite sure why.

You're the first people I've met who might be able to set things right. Shocking, I know. Which in light are good guys. But you'll need leverage to make them spill all of the beans. What do you mean? Are they being blackmail? Oh, I knew it. Not quite sure. But something's happening and they're not willing to tell.

I can hear them in there arguing about it sometimes. I don't think bringing the Kenku to justice is going to be enough. He'll give you some answers. I heard Mr. Light tell you that he'd answer your questions, but he sure as hell made a point of not saying he'd answer them truthfully. You want the truth? That's a good point. You're going to have to get one of their items and hold it hostage.

How do you suggest we'd do that? We'd get around one of these faith rules. I'm not I'm honestly not sure It's going to be difficult There are some people At the carnival that could help you Durla Gron, Candlefoot, Palasha

They're all good eggs Sure if you could Make friends with them They could help in some way Where can we find Palasha The Mermaid? Yeah We know we to find the mermaid, all right?

It's only one place you're going to find the mermaid He told us He told us at least he bombed us Silver Swan Lake Oh Oh Is it a top half mermaid or a bottom half mermaid? Oh, top half mermaid.

Oh, so it's a fish in? No, it's bottom half. Fish it with human legs. That's a bottom half mermaid. Yeah, that's a bottom half. Well, I guess it depends. What top half are you talking about? Yeah, what are you talking about?

Yeah, what are you talking? You know? Well, Moe is the sea, right? Yeah. The meat of the sea. All right, she's a bottom half mermaid. All right, but yeah, bottom half mermaid. All right, she's a bottom half mermaid.

Anyway, my point is, you're gonna have to find a way to get one of these items. That's the only way. They need them to run this carnival. They need them. Which one's more valuable? Which one's more powerful? There's no answer to that.

Both of them are required to run this carnival. Both of them are required for them to function the way they need to function. If you get that weather vein or you get that pocket watch, you are guaranteed to get what you need from them to get it back. The only thing I ask is that no harm comes to either one of them. I really mean it when I say they're good guys. but they're caught up in something. In over their heads. They're in over their heads.

Oh, I bet it's scabuffer. Couldn't tell you. I've never heard that name before. I'm gruncle, Electrumbex. That's my name. Great. And he loves unicorns. Oh, I already told you that, I think.

Yeah, I love unicorns. Love that for you. Anyways, I appreciate a friend. And I'll take a couple of gold pieces out put it in his palm. Now, my guess is that the watch is probably gonna be easier to steal. It's smaller.

It's often tucked inside of Mr. Witch's pocket, whereas the weather vein is always held in Mr. Light's hand, much harder to get than the pocket watch. Hmm. We can never get him to drop, drop the weather vein and put something else in his hand. No, I was with him for almost an hour.

It's a very firm grip. Yes. I feel like that would be impossible. I feel like the pocket watch is the right way to go. I mean, Frost did build a little bit of relationship, though. Now, the information I can tell you about both, depending on what you choose to do, and I'm hoping you'll take my words to heart,

and this will not leave this place right here. You're not going to go spreading this around. We can be very discreet. Now, you said you know what the witch-light vein does? I'm assuming the rest of you do, too? No, I don't. It's... No.

Well, other than declare the king. Which might have no control over who the monarch will be. But it's always the guest who's contributed the most to the happiness of the carnival. The monarch's given a charm that lets them fly. It's given to them from the vein itself. It's like an emotional tuning fork or honing magnet or something. But it is responsible for the overall emotional health of the carnival. The carnival wouldn't be what it is without that thing.

As for the watch, well, the watch is what's used to pack up and build up the carnival. At the end of it, Mr. Witch uses it to collapse the carnival into a small little box and take it wherever he wants. He uses it to rebuild the carnival. Without that pocket watch, there would be no witch-like carnival. Do the people who run the carnival stay inside when it's shrunk into this little space? Those that decide to stay on, yeah. So they shrink with it. They aren't crushed horribly as the transformation. Do I look like I'm crushed horribly?

I didn't know that you've been through this process before. I was just asking. You don't get into a position like mine by being a one-timer here, I'm telling you that. I've been with the Witch-like Carnival for a long time. Long-long time. I'll get the sense that Mr. Lott wouldn't like a one-timer. He doesn't. Do I get a sense that I believe that he is genuine in his want for good for Mr. Lott?

light and Mr. Witch and or and that he's selling the truth in this sense. And while you're doing that, he says, now the pocket watch is attached to a waist chain, waistcoat chain. It's tucked into the pocket. If you're going to, you're going to get that watch away from him, you're going to have to find some way to break that chain. And from what I've heard, that chain is very sturdy. So you're going to have, can have a rough time.

I feel a 22 about it. He seems to be very genuine. You can tell that what he's asking you, he's not asking you to sow discord. He's not asking you to steal it and never get it back. He wants you to take it just enough to figure out what's going on so that you can free these people that he cares about from whatever bond or whatever deal that they have struck. He is asking you to help because he genuinely believes that Mr. Light and Mr. Witch are good people.

Very good. Now, there is someone I'd like you to stay away from. Faco the clown. He's untrustworthy. He might lead you to believe that he wants to help, but he doesn't. I'm pretty sure he's working with whoever's blackmailing, my bosses. What's he worth to your dad? Just as much as he is alive, absolutely nothing.

Well, what if he says the same thing about you? we start talking the stack on, he says, look out for grumble pus. My name is Burley. Oh, really? The whole time? He introduced himself as grumb, as a grumblebuss. Yeah, I thought he introduced it.

Burley, he got me all confused. It's grumble pus. I think Frumsey's being a little bit of a grumble pus on now. Rossi's been a little grumble pus. These panties ride up, all right? Yeah, just because we couldn't find Zend diet that one time. I will, I'm the emist. I'm missing.

I will tell you something about myself that I don't share with anyone. Oh. If you're going to trust me, I'm going to trust you. Okay. I have a twin brother, Hurley. Hurley and Curly. Hurley. Hurley.

H-U-R-L-Y. Hurley and burly. You had mean parents. Hurley went missing. Oh, I don't hear that. I queried Mr. Witch and Mr. Light about it. Though they told me that Hurley probably just wanted more than a witch-light hands life. Though I knew that to be the case, he always wanted to be a performer.

He wanted to be an actor. It was his dream. And he was trying so hard to get a spot on the big top extravaganza. I feel like he was so close. He was so close. I don't think he would leave. I truly don't. You think he was taken?

I think he was taken. Well, what was his act? Maybe he just left the work on it. That's possible. He was a one-man show. He liked doing voices. He liked performing. You don't leave your twin brother behind.

No. We were very, very close. He would have left me a note. He would have let me know where he was going so I could find him. He would want me to know that he was safe. He was okay. Let me ask you this. The number of people missing in this carnival seems to be...

A lot. Is it this way of every year where dozens or more go missing? It's been this way for a while now. Okay. So we didn't accidentally. like he didn't capsule corp the carnival on top of like a burial ground or some sort of catacombs.

It is ongoing. Yes. Okay, very good. The plot thickens, gentlemen. Grumple. Now, I have, I've seen this Kenku around and I think,

I don't think this Kenku is what my bosses think they are. I think... She's politically motivated. She's a terrorist. we know. That's possible, but I was outside when she had her meeting with Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, and she had roughly the same questions. Where is Zabina? Why are people disappearing? And why are you allowing it to happen at your carnival? Asking regarding Zabalna. Well, she's evil, though, right? Huh? She's evil? Who? She never killed anybody, never heard anybody?

Well, she almost killed that poor fellow. I mean, I guess who cares about that? From what? What I can tell, her main purpose is a similar task to yours. Oh, come on. She's trying to get a hold of the weather vane or the pocket watch to force Mr. Witch or Mr. Light to give her the answer she seeks. On the same quest. I'll have a theory. All right, I gotta.

Oh, you go. I don't know. You're not gonna wanna follow up my theory. No, I don't have a theory. I have a, I have a paper of sorts, I think we can pull laws. Something I've done a little before. But you go with your theory.

I got a plan for how I think we can get that. I think that someone unscrupulous was trying to kill the dwarf with a rogue renegade dragon fly. It's probably like, ha-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b. And the kanku's like, like, oh, save the dwarf and going, ha-b-b-b-b-b-b-b. And we think, oh, no, it's the kanku. But the Kanku was trying to help all along. I mean, I guess that's theoretically possible, but I mean,

what in the eyes? There was a Kanku in someone else on the bushes. Mr. Light explicitly told me that... There's a lot of sex pests in the bushes. I mean, this carnival's full of my work. I was a witch-lawed-hand. I mean, there's a bunch of creeps here. You know, they're all in the bushes doing weird shit.

But why are they casting curses on people to crash in the... On dragonflies? Oh, that water? Oh, I'll bet that dwarf knows more than he let on. I think he was just a bumble fuck from Agway. At least he looked it. The plot figgins. Mr. Light explicitly told me that

the Kanky was causing mischief to try and sour the carnival so that people would leave so that it could get its way. Hmm. I got nothing. We're going to have to confront the Kenku and get answers for ourselves and then we'll be able to make an informed decision

gruncle. You're right, Twinklebell. Mm-hmm. We need to follow the facts. I think we build a little coalition. We wager gold against Daco, and we use him to get the information.

Oh. We try to get a sense of what the fuck's going on here. If he knows more than else. He can lead us rot to scabre. Exactly. Racco. Yeah, that It's a very good idea.

And we've always got Gideon. You turn him into a fack of shit. Oh, Frosty, I love when you talk like that. Man, I'm itching to scrap some clowns. And not this time, because they have a felt allergy or horrible goblin meat substitution allergy. But because you just hit all that show. It's like that moment in Avengers

where they're like Hulk smash. Gideon Kill Clown. Yeah. Well, I mean, really anything, but it's been a long time since we've, like, scrapped around a little bit. Do we... So, go ahead, Dr.

Do we need to assemble a team? We have assembled a team. No, no, no. Like, burr, burr, burr. And, like, you'll be like, oh, you, stupid mom that everyone hates. Oh, you, mum. They was like, huh-ha-ha-ha, you know what I mean?

And you, that other guy that barely said. I'll forget who that was supposed to be. Who again? I told you, he told you that it was. Candlefoot. Canterfoot. Yeah, it's one of them.

Cannot put the mine, Palasha. Pelossa, De LaGron. And DerlaGron. Durlegron. We met Durlegron, didn't we? Dirligran is a displacer beast. You have not met Delagon. Oh.

Oh, Kitty whiskers, you mean? Miss Kitty whiskers? Is that what you call her? Yeah. I met her eight years ago, and I feel like it was a very important meeting with Miss Kitty wishes.

And I can't... She's been here a long time, too. I can't remember why it would be important. When Gideon becomes one punch man. Yeah, that one shot. Yeah, or the fist just appears. Gideon, are you sure that it's... Is it just a coincidence that you're being

haunted by clowns because you've killed clowns in succession. If you kill something else, do you think it would haunt you, or is it only the clowns that are assembling in your... Oh, I mean, I... Oh, I was going to say if we meet up with this kanku, I'm happy to try, but a kanku plays into my kaper. So... Well, agree with me on this. Do not kill the kanku until we get some answers out of it. Otherwise, I think our mystery will be lost in the wind. So, Krami and I, a couple of towns back, we peeled off this caper called the... What'd you call it? I have to remind of what we did.

Oh, well, okay. Well, so here's the thing. The aloof culprit baggers, maybe. No, that was not even close to it. The whiskey slim caper. That's pretty good, but I'm... The greasy frog leg? I don't know.

It'll come to you. Let me walk you through it. So, how do you get... Well, how do you get something from someone when it's under protection 24-7? There are 100 million answers to that question. No, there's just one. You get them to move it. How do you get them to move it?

You're threatening. Someone's coming for it. They think that the Cancou's coming to mess up their carnival. We meet up with the Cancou. We say we're on the Cancou side. Trying to get in. We're trying to get that watch. We set her up to go in, steal the watch.

We go to Mr. Witch say, hey, this cancun is coming for your watch. You've got to move it. We got to put it. somewhere safe, we get in on it. As he's moving it from his pocket, somewhere else. We promise to watch protection. We promise the watch protection, exactly. But if we keep it safe, how are we going to get it then?

Because we'll have been given it for the purposes of safety. We're the ones keeping it safe. But it's not going to be safe. We're going to steal it. It's still being stolen. It's not safe. No, no. We're borrowing it for ransom purposes.

The idea is to deceive Mr. Witch into giving us the watch to protect it from the Kenku. And honestly, I don't think we need to meet the Kanku for this purpose. He already knows that there's threat of the watch from the Kanku in this place. I think we need cooperation. Kanku's on our side. At least has the same goal we do. We can bother with it.

Isn't she a warlock, too? If she's a warlock and there's a building as a patron, we're already helping old magic. There's no difference helping the Kanku too. Yeah, and he's not going to just hand over the watch if there isn't a real threat bearing down. We need the Kanku to really come on strong. Then he gives us the watch to keep. but safe momentarily.

That's right. Gremant convinces him. And I think the good baron might be able to help out with some of this. Hey, Kenny? The Razorback Fall? What do we call this? I mean, do we have like a line on the name? Ooh.

You get him to move it like the Italian job or something. Like the drunk grasshopper. Oh, it's kind of nice. Wait! Get in, get it, Mr. Mr. Roslov give us letters is something that we were supposed to open that I'm completely forgot about? He fucking did give us letters.

You have them. Please tell me you still have, Gid. Oh, yeah. I mean, I haven't, I mean, yeah, I got everything. I think. I got the gold. I got the gold. No, I have the gold.

Oh, well, you hold the gold, but I'll keep the gold. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Where are you keeping all this on your person? It's back pocket. Yeah. I don't think those things seem relevant for anything. I thought, you know.

What, you want to read them? Yeah, what if it's a... Oh hey, my old pal, uh, Ms. Kenku, uh, Katie, is gonna be at the carnival, and she's looking for the building too. You should probably go talk to her. And she's actually pretty cool. She makes great blueberry muffins. You should also try them. Sounds pretty nice.

I mean, I don't know. We shouldn't read it then. Do you think she also makes, like, if she does, if she is good at making muffins, do you think she'd also be good at making lemon poppy seed muffins? Oh. I love those. Oh, lemon poppy seed. I love those.

So good. I mean, it's really good, Ro. Those are damn good. What's that's how we had a good lemon poppy seed muffin, right? It's probably been a while. You think she can make good... Wait, how did she make muffins? How do we...

Oh, it was a hypothetical and I'll trick myself in the thinking of real. She's not a baker. I mean, she's a can't cook. Okay. She can speak. I mean, she can only mimic. You can mimic the muffin man. Man.

Muffin Man? Muffin Man? She can make Muffin'n Man. What if we open the letters and she is a good guy? And then we set her up to do this crime thing and, you know, they end up like imprisoning her. Well, it would feel kind of bad? I don't know what...

I mean, first of all, why would we ever feel bad? Second of all, I mean, if she has the same goal, she's got nothing else to lose. It sounds like she's trying to do something that she's in way over her head. And I think that she could use allies like us. And that means being a... being a plant, being an extraction, being whatever it is we needed to be.

I mean, she doesn't really have a choice at this point. Oh, she's causing a ruckus too, and she's avoided the sow pig. Ms. Pig. Ms. Pig. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

She might be a pretty slippery customer, too. Mm-hmm. But I still think we need to rough up, uh, FACO. It's FACO. It's FACO. It's T-H-A-C-L. No, no, I mean, I'm Grico, though, so I'll say Faco, free Faco, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. What a facko that guy is. So I think that we need a trick Facko, and then we can follow him, and he would be like, oh, I'm going to go meet up with Scebo for later and Ms. Pigs, and that horrible disgusting frog thing that I just want to kill.

And then the moon lady. And then we jump out and say, you're the bad guy. Faco. And we blow the whole thing open. Hey? Hey?

I mean, if this clown is as weak as the other clowns at this carnival. It'll be a piece of cake. I probably shouldn't touch them, actually. I also have a theory about that. Yeah, I'll stand 10 feet away. Have we encountered, since you manslaughter chuckles, yeah, yeah.

Have we been near any clowns until the carnival? The answer to that would be no. It's pretty unlikely, I mean, yeah. And remember all that, like, into laughing? He was, like, muttering all that weird stuff. I mean, I was, I don't really remember. I feel like when he was in the grass before. When he was freaking out in the grass?

Yeah, when he was freaking out in the grass. Yeah. I'm just saying. I mean, laugh until he died. Oh, that's what I mean. I'm saying. It's awful mysterious. It seems that you've been cursed by a clown's laughter.

I think it has been a while since you've had fake curses. Oh, no. And I have a lot of drags. Can we just take it? 15 minutes to plan the metal plight? I have a lot of this adventure. I have a lot of dreads. Anyway, Burley, where are we going?

You got the lead. I'm where this gang who is. Let's just build a plan first. Quick before you have to sing everything. Burley, please, please, Burley. Before or after we get hit with this, can we take a break? I think after. I'd like to know what my question is, so if there's any improv,

I can do a little bit of thinking ahead. That's tweak about. Before, not after. No, I'm going to take the brief. break after. Oh, I was saying we should get the curses before or after. Oh. Oh, I misunderstood what you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so one of you is going to lose D4 letters of your name, and I rolled a four. Oh, can it be me? So you can either be f. I was hoping it would be f. Yeah, that works. Or morgue fought. Oh, yeah, morgue fought. Oh, yeah, That's a classic.

Yeah, no, you'll be Morg Fott again. That's good. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah, that words. Because everyone else is just like one letter or Grico could be, K, the CK. Oh, my name is Ho.

Or Co. You could be Co. Oh, that's what I keep saying. Or you could be ick. I think Moorg Fought. I think Morg Fott's good. Let's see what the next one is. Oh, Foddy.

Wouldn't it actually just, does it affect both of my names? Hmm? Yeah, that's why it's Morrig Fought. No, no, no. Am I now just twinker? Mm. Twank. Yes, you're twinker.

Twinker. Twinker. It's just worse somehow. It's so much worse. Yeah. Inkerbell? Inkerbell. Oh, you be like an octopus.

It begins to rain, Grico. And every single rain drop you believe has a human face staring at you. Do we all see the rain? Oh, yeah, it's just raining. Oh, it's raining out. Pleasant. You really get Eldridge horror ones. Uh.

Which one of you wants to be the next one? Oh, I don't know. Okay, great. You believe you believe you are a frog prince that needs to be kissed to regain your human form. Oh, that's the best one. I can just add that one. Basically, you want? No, no, I don't know.

I definitely don't let one. Okay, Kremi, pick one of your friends. Oh, no. Yeah. Does you have to fall in love and kiss him? No, he looks at you and believes that you're an evil monster. Thank you.

Thank you for that. Fathers. I really like this. Something's happened. Hey, it's up. Is it feeling like Faywild in here? Something in the rain, I think. Something in the rain, I think.

A little bit of a tangle. You know, I'm gonna do a different one. for you so you have one you can actually ass out. A little bit of a tingle on my- So I'm morning frost twinkerbell again? Yeah. Very good. Hey, can somebody kiss me?

Your knees be confused. You lose the ability to run. Oh, is it raining? Hey, now that you fall on the ground, can you slide over here and kiss me on the lips? My fucking legs, Gideon. Yeah, but yeah, that's fine. I don't need your legs, I need your lips. You're not even listening.

Give. What? Listen. Listen, I mean, you could kiss me too. I'm a frog. Get the fuck away from me. What? I'll see the faces of everyone I've ever let down,

and it's just the faces of eternity in the rain. I look at the rain. Do I see any faces of eternity? No. I think Gia is the reason why we've had such misfortune. Hey. Are these clown faces? No.

Some of them are. Well, let me know. I mean, I never really thought. twice about the horns, kid. I just figured, oh, you got, you know, fire genie blood and they got horns, but... Yeah. What are you talking about? Are you even... Are you even a genocie? Well, not right now. You're a devil, dude.

No, what? You're fooled me this whole time! You're saying really disparaging things to me right now, and I am royalty, again. No, you're not royalty. I'm royalty. No, you're the king of devils? You know, I'm the prince of demons? I'm the prince of frogs. No, I'm the Prince of a Frog. Oh, this is all very jealous about that. I sit up and just like watch them with my legs. Oh, his fucking legs.

Oh, you're a fucking legs. Yes, yes. I hop over. Magic, lots my legs together. I hop over to Frosty and perch on his, uh. Well, I'm actually like a frog, a small frog. No, you just think you are. Oh, I hop over to Frosty and perch on.

I perch on his knees. I perch on his feet. What do you mean? Gideon, you're very heavy. No, wait, but kiss me. Can you kiss me? You got to turn me back.

Get off him, James. I'm going to push him off. He's trying to kill the children. Oh, the children. Gideon, you're under some sort of influence of the magic of this area. Kissing you is not going to solve your problem. I just can't believe it. Grico, yours is being chained.

You feel as things shift, and you can only speak in lines from musicals, movies, poetry, or other media. Nice. Strangle. This is going to be really hard. That's a tough one. Yeah. You like jazz? I mean, yeah, you know this.

Why you ask you hate jazz, though? Anyways. Hey, while you're thinking, you mind kissing me on the lips? This whole time, I believe everything that's gone wrong. What did you think, Mike? 18 plus content counts. 18 plus content. It's all mooties.

Yeah, okay, okay. Well, somebody's got to kiss me. I can't be a frog prince forever. He's trying to curse all of us. He's trying to pass his horrible Eldridge curse onto every single one of us. I don't want. He's a devil. He's a fiend.

It's not a horrible. It's your fault that Hootsie's gone. It's your fault that we've manned up in this mess. Why would you say that to me? This is very unlike you. He's a despicable monster. That is a horrible thing to say. I would still, however, let you kiss me on the mouth.

What would that do if I did that? It would undo me being a frog prince. I'd go back to be in my fire genocci normal non-prince self. Well, maybe I'd still be a prince. I don't know, actually. Worth a trying. Yeah. Why you just kiss me?

Would it undo you being a monster? I mean, I don't think of a monster right now. I'm just a, you know, I'm a charming frog. Get out of my swamp. I'm not in the swamp. Get out of my swamp! You don't have a swamp. You're just over there dancing in the rain.

I'm singing in the rain too. I walk in the rain as well. In the rain? In the rain. In the rain, yeah. I don't know. I feel like it's some kind of devil's trick. Look, we're not going to be able to execute any kind of plan in this condition.

I'm gonna army crawl to the next thing that we can do, and perhaps we can relax on a ride or enjoy a game. Can I rejoin Guy's Night? If that's what you're calling it? No, Guy's Night is over. No, you can, if you kiss me. Oh, okay, no, not you. No, no, anybody else?

Why your mouth off? You've never been against sloppy seconds before, kid. Why now? Well, okay. Oh, come down. Yeah, that's a strong... Strong. That's a strong...

Riven around. Lean down. Oh, no. I'm just a frog. I'm already on the ground. You're standing up. No, I'm not. I'm on the ground. Ribbit?

I'm looking at it. Ribbit? Yeah, I'm right here. He's a tow demon this whole time. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I hop back up on. Hop back up onto his knees.

All right, don't. What do you got? I would like you both to make a performance check to see how well you kiss. Natural, Twyne, passionate but generous lover. Performance? Yeah. 18.

Oh, yeah. Your lips meet each other's. And at first, you think this is just a kiss to cure your friend, but your lips are soft and supple. And it's been a while since you've experienced any kind of romance as you both lean in. It's been at least 15 minutes. It's been at least 15 minutes. As you begin to passionately kiss each other.

Well, for me as well. Maybe your arms are still behind your back. You feel the mouse too. I have the weirdest bonoer on now. I was going to say how a nice year embrace was. But you're sitting on my legs, which I can't feel. So everything is fine. No legs, no arms.

I just went from six to midnight. Well, you taste like artificial sugar. Get away from them. What? I put you apart. Hey. What are you doing? You're trying to kill him.

No, I'm not trying to kill him? Do you feel curse now? That was a dazzling kiss. I was just testing my hypothesis that this would end the curse. Oh, yes. Do you still feel like a frog? Yeah. Damn it.

It's probably because somebody else got there first. There's nothing to do to fix my legs in the same way that you can't be unmade of us. No, I think your kiss just wasn't. It's all in your mind. You just didn't put your back into it. Well, I... You already gave it away to another. Yeah, your kiss last passion.

I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know, an 18 seems pretty bad. As the rain falls on me, I'll just let out a sigh. I'm just going to sit down and just rest up against, like, a wall or barrel that just near me. Yeah, one of the, I would say, like, one of the wheels of the wagon. Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

Attack ships on fire off a shoulder of Orion. I watch sea beam's glitter in the dark near the Tanhouser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears and rain. Time to die. It's too bad. Echo won't live. But then again, who does? Oh, God. Oh, that was so fucking good. My legs, gruncle. My legs.

You're a fucking filthy monster. You know that, game? I don't know why you are saying such disparaging things to me. This is hurtful. Lie down on your little frog ditch and die of horrible frogs death. What is a matter with you? I'm saying you're a horrible moss. Look at those horns. You think you're a frog. You don't look anything like a frog. I say all this while over... Your arm's still behind your bank? Yeah, I'll reach out my hand

and I'll grab, I'll hold with the rainfall on it. I'll grab some soil. The world has changed. I'll feel it in the water. Feel it in the earth. I'll smell it in the air. I'll stand back up. Much that once was, much that once was,

much that once was, was, is, lost for none now live who remember you're not making a sense quicker yeah what's a matter with you I'm walking here let's go and as you say that I use another twist of dread ooh on all of you I'm gonna attempt to put my legs between your armholes and then I can like ride you like a backpack is that acceptable to you I've been after that kiss you can do whatever you want all right lean down All right. Now we can go wherever we need to go, yeah. I'll do it 15 minutes ago.

Grico. A secret. Oh, no, actually, yeah, no, we'll do you. A secret has been revealed that will make you hate someone you love. You can choose the secret in which person you've decided to hate. It does not have to be true. The voice of the last person you killed tells you things about their life no one wants to know is going to be Gideon's. You know, Clutzy had gonorrhea. You know what, actually, we should do it this.

Do we want all the clowns to be able to talk at one time, or should we roll to figure out which clown is going to haunt him? I think we do one at a time to introduce, and then eventually we stack. Okay. So, do you want to do one at a time right now? Hi, Gideon. Nice to see you again.

Hey, I'm going to do a magic trick for you. You know, I can pull a, and it's an scarf out of my. sleeve like this I just pull like the oh this isn't sleeve at all this is my intestines the straw that you're in white I gotta stop killing clocked I had a very light cantaloupe allergy I had a loving family that I can't ever see again now that I'm stuck in the eternal torment on a nine hell I hate that laugh.

Are we in the nine hell, or are we deep in the abyss? Um, uh, you now believe that you are turning into a wear gator. You are not. Look, you cursed me, too. No, I didn't. I didn't me kiss you. I kissed frosted. Everywhere you go, it just follows you. I'm turning the monster just like you. Man, that's car. Look at what you doing with me. I'm not doing anything to you.

I got frosted in my back. I'm a frog, Prince. My teeth are about to grow from fathomable lengths. Why would you think that? You just want to drag me down with you, Giz. No, I don't want to drag you anywhere. Is he playing the whole time? You look up into the sky and you see that the rain clouds

begin to move and the beautiful, brilliant, circular full moon shines down over you, illuminating this area of the carnival. No, I can't believe it. I can't believe you. What a secret I've learned. Everything all right? No, it's not okay.

I hate Uncle Globo now. Hmm. Who? Is that a movie? I hate Uncle Globo. His goblin surfing turf was actually plant proteins. He was trying. He was trying to make a deal with the local goblin public schools.

And I always his guinea pig. I have my legs and I also just played Clussy, but I don't think I actually got a thing. Sorry. Oh, that was mine. I wanted, yeah. Yeah. See? An alligator hissing.

I didn't even do that. I haven't done this stuff. You were just breathing like that. Like just a couple minutes ago. Oh, whoa. Oh, whoa, what are you doing? Stop it. Oh, my gosh.

Stop it. What I'm doing? I'm talking again. No, no. What are you telling you? I'm talking to you. No, cool, but. Hey.

Quit calling me a monster. Quit doing that. Look, it's super weird. What are you turning into? If I chase you just running zigzags, I can't turn very fast. Oh. I hate Uncle Globet.

And I get on all four, isn't it? A, yeah, talking flea now lives in your nose, Frost. I can't. Oh, I mean. Yes. Hey. Yeah, hello. Hi.

Hey. Who was there? You're very tickly up in there. It's me, flea. Well, hello, flea. Would you mind not living in my nose? No. So you would not mind? Yes. Yes. You're going to make me sneeze if you continue to, uh, uh, tarzan my, my nostril hair is like this. I can hang on. Yeah, I can feel that. It's like, I'll fall some of.

I have an unreasonable love for the red hot chili pepper. All of my friends don't think they're very good, but I would always say dream in Californication. Why do you keep lying to me, Juggles? You don't have any friends. I do now, Gideon. I have a Beth's friend now. Oh, don't say it's me.

Hey, what's your favorite color? I don't have a favorite color, I don't believe in that. My favorite... I'm sorry, I sneeze all the over the back of your head. Oh, what? What the hell? Frosty, who are you talking to? Sorry, there's a small flea talking to me and living inside of my nose at this time.

Oh! What? My favorite color's blue. Yes, why is that? I don't know. And I'm turning. No. The only thing we have to do now is

I have a monster battle of the death. Cremant, we can't have a monster battle to the death, all right? You're not a monster. You're not turning into anything. You're just rolling around on the ground in your face a suit. I'm coming, you frog flag. I'm going to have an alligator bottle and up to him and bite him on the leg. He rolled your back.

And once I bite, I'm going to attempt to roll and death roll his leg off. Oh, terrific. To throw his leg off. His leg off, yeah. Okay? Yep. This is the part where Gideon permanently loses a leg.

The curses go just beyond the threshold. 12 to hit. Messes. You attempt to, but he believes he's a frog and he quickly leaps over you. And you're not able to find purchase on his flash. Ha! You never catch me.

And I'm just gonna run after you. And you're just zigzagging, jumping. And so, like, I have to stop and really slowly adjust. And then then after you get me. I need you all to roll of perception check at disadvantage. Get away from her, you bitch. Is that just the movie quote? 17.

Oh, I wrote a net, 20. I have an 8. Disadvantage? Yes. Oh, so it was an 8. 12. Yeah. Oh, fruit.

Taring a day. Yeah, tell that to frost. I'm going to say. I'm going to say it. 18. I don't care for it. I got a six. 18.

17. 17? Okay. And what did you get? 18. 18, perfect. Okay, continue. How long have you been in there, little man or thing, whatever you are?

I just got here a little bit ago. Mm-hmm. I was getting cold. It was raining. I had a big flea problem when I was very young. I hope you aren't a sign of things to come. No, I think it's just me. Okay, that's good.

Would you mind vacating? You're living in my nose rent-free, and I don't care for it. Yeah. You would mind? Yeah. Well, I mind that you are in my nose. I can't seem to get you out. You could try and pick me, but that'd be kind of rude.

I extend the claw. Ow. Did I get you? No, I'm still in here. Shit. Are you still running? No, I'm hopping. Are you still hopping away?

I will either attempt to keep biting you or chasing you until one of us is dead. You attempt to bite me. I'll stop hopping. Fly, you fools! I'm still holding on your back. And I'm still death roll anyway. And it is about this time.

You have, I would say, with all of whatever this is, you have made your way out of the big topic extravaganza and are heading straight towards the, um, the thoroughfare that leads to all of the carnival games. And it is at this point that you hear from the shadows. Hey, what the fuck are you guys doing?

I'm an office. I feel the need. The need for speed. Uh, who, who's that? You'll have to speak up. There's a small flea in my nose. No, don't come anywhere near us. He thinks he's a crazy, you know, wear, croaked about,

I don't know, with some kind of horrible monster. Highway to the danger zone. And you look around and you see that there is a candy striper pixie who is standing there as you guys run past trying to hold out taffies to you, but you just run. Get in, so run in a circle. Turn around, we need the taffy. Okay.

Oh, rabbit. I'll drink your milkshake. I drink it up! If I tell you I am an oil man. I've abandoned my child! I've abandoned my child! Can you just stuff one of those in my mouth? Quickly.

You feel my legs start to animate and presumably the flea disappears as well. Goodbye. Oh, I'll take it. Give me one of those. She's one of those. It's kind of green. And she looks at you chomping and she just tosses a... I'm just flailing.

A taffy into your mouth. I'll climb down from you. You don't get to bring friends. I'm sorry? Bain? No, a morning frost or a twinkerbell. It's at that point. My flight plan on.

It's at that point. The two of you noticed something about this candy striper pixie. Mm-hmm. She shifts in a strange, magical way, and you realize that this image that you're looking at isn't real. It's a disguise of sorts as you see her wave her hand towards you to duck behind one of these gaming booths. Follow me. We'll get you fixed right up. Did I do all of that with Battle Axe Nipple Clam song?

Yeah. Yes. It was remarkable. You can see the path where you've been walking has literally like divvets. Perfect tone divvits going into the game. Oh, wow, yeah. Happily, happily. And as you make your way around the back end of this gaming booth,

you watch as the magic fades and standing in front of you is a kanku in a dark blue robe. She looks out at you and as she opens her mouth, it is very clear that this is unlike any kanku that you've met. Kenku is speaking with a voice. It is not mocking. It is no mimicry. It is a voice that the two of you immediately recognize would suit a certain mime.

As the Kenku says to you, Well, I'm so glad that you were able to find me. We have a lot to talk about. Zabilna has gone missing. And though Madrick and I do not get along, Well, we do have one thing in common. We want what's best for Zabinna, and I do not believe that Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are up to good.

And that is where we'll end the session. I would not have expected Candleford to sound like that at all. Yeah, well, your character would, okay. Oh, my. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Adventures podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier higher to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash legends of avantress.

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