Legends of Avantris - Stardust Rhapsody: Anthem | Ep. 23 | Crimson King: Part: 2

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

Neon Odyssey, our 1,400+ page Space Opera trilogy for D&D 5.5E, is live on Kickstarter NOW. Become a backer at https://avantr.is/neon-rpg-yt   🎃Terrify your friends in D&D with *The Crooke...d Moon,* our 632-page Folk Horror tome for 5E: https://thecrookedmoon.com   🌎Join our *Patreon* to get thousands of hours of content including Avantris & Chill, unedited campaigns, a weekly game stream, 4 exclusive campaigns, monthly movie nights, and much more: https://avantris.com/patreon 👕 Get awesome, beautiful, or hilarious *merch* of your favorite characters including Chuckles, Bitsy, Torbek, and more at the Avantris shop: https://avantris.com/shop 👾Join the Avantris community on *Discord* to chat about your favorite campaigns: https://avantris.com/discord 🔴Watch us play D&D LIVE every week on *Twitch:* https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris 🔗 *All other links:* https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/h-8umO8Frpo?si=8puwmxCRNWRyTWZj

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:03 Welcome to Legends of Adventress. I'm Mace Caffrey, and you're listening to Star Dusts Rhapsody Anthem. You find yourself at the bottom of that simple staircase. You step upwards, these stone walls closing in around you, as each step brings you closer to what you hope is the mansion above. It's not a long walk until this rocky, tunnel that you find yourself climbing through. You come to the end of it.
Starting point is 00:00:47 And a small section of wall that you feel like you could put hand to and push open stands just in front of you. Would Coe still be in the lead? Going up the stairs? I think now that I have Pixel and she is catatonic, I don't think I'd be in the lead.
Starting point is 00:01:06 I'll be right behind you because I'm looking at for... I think Pike would go first. I'll be right behind Pike. Yeah, I'll be right behind Ziggy. Because I'm looking for... Oh, no. behind you, so you can even eye on picks. I'm looking for access panels. If it looks like
Starting point is 00:01:19 Pike can just move this aside, bookcase style, then cool, but I'm presuming that there's some form of security not leading down into the rank or a bit. Yeah, this doesn't seem to require strength. I would just kind of feel it out and see what I can do to move this thing
Starting point is 00:01:35 or open it. You go to give it a push, and it doesn't feel as though it's secured or locked down, but it does feel heavy. you may need potentially one additional person. I call on red. Excuse me, hold on.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I'm gonna turn. Okay, hold on. Careful, it picks. I would do it, but I spring my wrist. As you walk up to this thing, I say, yeah, thanks, big guy. I would have called Coe, but she's busy. No, yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:02:05 Here we go. Give a shove and this door of sorts swings outward and open. In front of you, almost this warmth strikes, leaving this cold, wet, dingy smell from down below. The manner you find yourself inside. Behind you, as you push against this mechanism and you walk out, almost this red carpeting covers the ground as it extends forward to the right and then seemingly hooked back. Above you, crystalline chandeliers hang, casting an opalescent glow throughout the room. The ceilings are extraordinarily tall
Starting point is 00:03:00 as the grandeur of this space. Now that you find yourself within the manner makes itself finally known to you. How big you think this place is? It's pretty big. I grew up in a place kind of like this. It's going to have dozens of rooms and bathrooms and hallways and connections. Multiple staff rooms and different sections, all with different purposes.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Well, based on what you know, where would the Don be? He's got to have some sort of office or safe room or something, right? Yeah, I... Where would your parents hang out in a house like this? It's not a question of hanging out. He's looking for safety, so he would go where he conducts business, and there would be something like a panic room. I will search my memory. Could I, hmm,
Starting point is 00:03:57 could I somehow have closed my character sheet? That's very funny. The answer is more likely than you think. More likely than you think. My characters, ZI view. I would love to, I would love to make a history check or insight to the place?
Starting point is 00:04:22 I'm trying to use my memory of growing up pretty wealthy to divine where we are in the mansion and where we would need to go to get to the main thoroughfare and from there where I think it would be the most likely place to have a safety space. Rollin inside or history check. Laptop?
Starting point is 00:04:49 Yeah, he's a psycho. That really fucking freaked me out. It also really landed. Made a sicker. I didn't like that. I'm gonna choose history because it's plus seven instead of plus five, and I get a dirty 20. With a dirty 20, you think about this layout so far,
Starting point is 00:05:07 and you think to yourself, oh, of course, we're right above the rank or pit. That means that the layout dictates that you go, not all houses are built the same. They don't have a rank or a bit, but anything. But I would say from a combination of what you've watched, watched as the camera feed has fed back to you from the drones above. Yeah, I'm thinking of the layout.
Starting point is 00:05:30 And where you kind of discern where you are, you can almost kind of like, as you were watching back the feed to see what had happened in that absence, you see the hole get blast in the ground beneath the pit. you think that you are off to the Facing your approach You think that you are off to the right side Of the mansion It seems as though there are a couple of off-shoot rooms
Starting point is 00:06:05 Like if you were to come around You're walking like forward And you kind of start to loop back Almost like you're walking back towards the courtyard You believe that you're on one side There are a couple of what look like rooms that spread off as you go forward, but then they end. But as you move almost within the mansion onto the other side of the promenade into the other section of the mansion, there looks like a section to go higher that extends backwards and out that opens bigger,
Starting point is 00:06:38 where multiple rooms connect in a singular space. and you were to think of the construction of where you might find a panic room, you would think that it's on a side of, it's on that side of the mansion. I think it's literally on the other side of the villa. This side is a little bit more luxury, and that side, there's going to be more rooms, more spaces to hide. Okay. If you're confident, then we've got to start going.
Starting point is 00:07:06 I could be wrong, but I think that's where we start. All right. What do you think? way. I would still take the lead, but I would have Zinghi close by, like telling me where to go to make a left, to make a right, to go straight, right? I'm sort of directing as I'm kind of just like... I'm feeling out the space and I'm trying to like let myself fall back into what feels natural within a, within a space of this size. And I will guide him. I will guide Pike. When he looks to me, up that hallway. Ignore that room. That's the swimming pool. You do that. You start to direct the party. You move out from behind you. As the door that you came out of starts to kind of slowly close back on a mechanism, a large clock takes its place against the walls. It covers up a completely seamless opening. If you didn't know that that was there, you'd have no idea that it was the entrance down to a pit hiding a terror of such a... Not that it would fit up the tunnel, but that's the nightmare actually. Wonderful. You move forward down this hallway, immediately hang a right, and immediately hang one more right.
Starting point is 00:08:18 I'm going to send this kind of button hook pattern as you come back down the hall. You see downwards now as this. You're faced with basically the immense grandeur of the total extent of the mansion now as you look down this hallway. You can almost see to the other end, but it's as if it goes beyond your total line of sight as how far. down and walk places. And you start to make your way. You walk across that same red carpeting. Doors on either side of you extend up as these massive, ornate, brown, look like hand-carved,
Starting point is 00:08:59 like dark wood double doors opening into other rooms. Roll a group perception check for me as you make this track. Perse Caption. That's exactly what I got. Cold 12. Cold 12. 17. Perception.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Cold 13. Cool. You've never lived or even really been exposed to kind of grandeur of this style. Even weedalvoxas wasn't close to this. Personal residence. Not even close. Though this was lavish.
Starting point is 00:09:38 It was in a different way. This is grand. It's ornate. It's an opportunity. even in the hotels you stayed at in when you were hunting wheedlevox. This strikes different. And one thing stands out to you. These beautiful large wooden doors. They have these seemingly you'd gather at this point unrelated and strangely hard to capture or recreate red card in them. And it's as you, as these kind of catch your eye, you think like, man, the rich just live really strange. I don't know why you would ever carve a pattern like that into a door. It doesn't even look good. As you continue to kind of move throughout this manner.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Who needs this much space? Who fucking cleans this? You have people come in every day, whole teams. Whole teams of them. There, they're nothing compared to the value. of this place. Does anyone even live in these fucking rooms? Does people spend time here? Well, maybe they did until recently. They just have more money than they know what to do with. You would know from your experience that in a home like this, there are likely rooms that maybe the Don doesn't even know we're here. Never used, never been in. So expansive. There are possibly whole wings he's never seen. When you're when you're busy, you just you just take the space. And you use your wealth.
Starting point is 00:11:19 You bring over guests. They can enjoy what they enjoy, and you know it's going to be clean. You know it's going to be safe and fine. You've got the security. You've got the... Why not? I mean, it's sort of what I was going to inherit
Starting point is 00:11:32 before things changed. Yeah. And this is just a vacation home. Yeah, this is no way to fucking live. You get this much money and power you lose your... you lose your fucking soul, you become something else. I don't know if you lose your soul, but you can. If I thought that the patterns on the doors were strange,
Starting point is 00:12:02 I'd call that out, like what is this? Is this like weird modern art shit? I'll take a really close look and get a sense of what these markings might mean. Expecting them to be perhaps navigational markers. You're in the, you're in the, you're You're in the itchy lot versus the scratchy lot to make another Simpson's very funny.
Starting point is 00:12:24 That's very funny. Oh, man. The Donald lot, the goofy lot. As you go to investigate, roll an Arcana check. Great. That is where I'm a Viking. Let's go. And I'm going to roll off of my laptop so that I don't make Andy Mab.
Starting point is 00:12:43 And I'm going to get a fucking 19. Let's go. There you go. That's a total. That's a 28 total. That's a 28 total. I wasn't angry. With a 28.
Starting point is 00:12:52 You almost run your, or you do, I'll say, run your hand across them. As you trace this odd pattern in the door, you've seen ornate carvings and things before. Crazy, I mean, not even modern art, just crazy representations of wealth have shown up in any manner. This strikes extremely odd to you. Almost as if you were tried to draw these, capture these in the grid boy, for instance. I'll take a photo. Okay, you try.
Starting point is 00:13:35 They, as you run your hand. My soul is ripped from my body. As you run your hand, they almost, it's so faint, it's hard to sense, and it's not your, it's not your, it's not your, uh, it's not your particular resonance. It's not my source. It's not, it's not the thing that brings me magic. But it draws almost an eerie sense of power. Co. This isn't usual. This is, they, I don't know what it means, but it's, there, there's magic. There, there, there's energy in this. This is, this is, it's nothing like the hypergrit, but, uh, this symbol, it means
Starting point is 00:14:18 something, it's here for a reason. I have no idea. It shouldn't be here. Fuck, I mean, it's just weird elite cult shit. The long worms and the demon worshippers, the demon cabal. It could be cult shit. I mean, it could be syndicate shit. It could be whatever, whatever the dons tapping into when it comes to cacophony and the discord and all that stuff. Do we want to... This is a door, right? All the doors are marked with... It's every door.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Every door is marked with a red, almost like pattern that now feels like... Like... Every door. Sidgles. Every door as you walk through the house. We're fucked.
Starting point is 00:15:11 We are fucked. We're going to be in trouble here, boys. And another thing that's eerie about it is they all look different. There's not a one that repeats so far as you. see in the entire manner. So what do we do?
Starting point is 00:15:30 It appears we've reached an impasse. Hold it. We have to keep searching. I don't think there is anything we can do. Just store it away. Unless you want to check every single one of these rooms and see if there's a connection. Not even a little bit. This might be some language that none of us understand, and this says billiards, and then this one says library, and then this one says game room.
Starting point is 00:15:52 I have no idea. I'd like to not try any door until we think we found the one. the Don is behind. I don't think it's behind any of these doors. How do we know that without checking? I want to open it. I step back. I don't.
Starting point is 00:16:11 I'm standing there right next to Brett. That's very funny. You just open a door? I'm going to... Tap to. Feeling like there's some sense of urgency, I'm just going to... And not thinking about, like, runic traps and shit like that.
Starting point is 00:16:30 In the sci-fi setting, that's not front of Rhett's mind, I'm going to just try to open whatever door we're in front of. A little perception check. That's pretty good. You see your soul leaving your body. You perceive your own soul. 21. You try the door.
Starting point is 00:16:51 You go, the handle response to you immediately. It's got like a knob. You turn, you open. But you do not swing. Because as you go to open, something cat. matches your eye instantly as you create the first crack. At the very bottom as you're looking down, almost preparing for some terrible demonic runic track that exploded you.
Starting point is 00:17:13 You see something far more mundane. A laser line drawn across the door's threshold that you think if you remove the door any further open would trigger an electronic man-made trap of sorts. It's trapped. Some kind of laser. Okay, well then that solves that problem. Don't move that door any further. You'll trigger an alarm or something.
Starting point is 00:17:42 We'll be got. Let's pick our door very carefully, then. If we've only got one shot, we find the one we think the Don's behind. I'll close it. Very carefully. Good find. Do I get a sense that we can disable the trap from the outside? Oh, great fucking question.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I said the 21 perception. Yes. You believe that you can, you find access to the power threshold. It's on the side of the door frame, about a third of the way down. Unless you're looking for it, unless you know to look for it, there's the slightest bit of a power line coming in. And having now seen it, you believe that you could find the section that would need to be cut, that you think would kill the power to the trap on the other side.
Starting point is 00:18:36 That's pretty fucking fine. So this feels more like a physical thing and not like we need to digitally hack it. You think, from what you're looking at, that it's very likely that in the current state of affairs around here, the doors are simply all alarmed. And that if you were to open this, very possibly an alarm would go off,
Starting point is 00:18:56 triggering that an intruder has entered this room. and there would be a level of response. I want to investigate the disarming section and use my bypass tools to attempt to disarm this and cut the right wire and try to adjust whatever mechanism. This isn't an application. This is pure green, red, yellow, or blue. Roll technology check for me.
Starting point is 00:19:26 And I'm advantaged because I'm proficient in bypass tools, presumably? If you're proficient in technology and bypass tools, you're advantaged. If you're proficient in one or the other, you add your proficiency. 28. Holy smokes. Holy smokes. You can see it's easy for you. I mean, you work on, you work on, you work on, just kidding, let's check out.
Starting point is 00:19:53 What are these stupid? This is so far beyond this. This door is simple. It's easy for you to look at. Understand exactly that. Just a wiring, you can easily carve back the sheathing on and actually create like a metal bypass that will separate them, but keep the signal hot.
Starting point is 00:20:16 So you guarantee that you've disabled the other side without being detected. You do it so definitely. All right, I think it's done. Well, damn. Nice. I want to open it just a crack to see if the laser is still there. You start opening it just a crack,
Starting point is 00:20:33 and you see now the mechanism on the other side that produces the beam, and it is dark. I'll open the door the rest of the way. You swing open the door. I'm very confident in the way. In front of you, the room stretches out.
Starting point is 00:20:48 This is another massive room. It seems almost as though you're looking at an armory. You see heavy laser rifle after heavy laser rifle, aligning the room all around, different types of weapons, repeating blasters, heavy blasters, grenades. This is possibly the armory that goons would come and get stocked up at. Every section of wepery behind a shimmering blue glass. Oh, wow! Brent!
Starting point is 00:21:27 My gods! Are they building an army? What is this? This would be one of the... Anyone in security could come here to one of these types of rooms and grab what they need in the case of an emergency. Is there anyone even left to use this stuff? When you're fully outfitted, you need a room like this.
Starting point is 00:21:47 There could be hundreds of people here, and you'd need dozens and dozens of weapons in case there needed to be enforcement. Are there any other doors outside of this room besides the one that we're at? This room ends. It seems to be totally enclosed. This is one of the rooms as Ziggy saw overhead as you're moving through. There were sections of rooms splitting off from the hallway that are just contained.
Starting point is 00:22:13 That don't lead anywhere else. If it feels like it's just like assault rifle after assault rifle behind the glass, I think I'd be done pretty quick with this room. and just get a sense of like, all right, I don't think we have any use for this. No. No, I don't think we risk it. I could try hacking in and trying to disable that,
Starting point is 00:22:37 but to what end? You know, an extra grenade or two? I think we move on. All right. But don't open any doors until I take a look at it, okay? You're in the lead. All right. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Picks and I are going to be way far behind you. It's going to be one of these. We'll proceed and just keep looking. You continue down that. I close the door behind me just to make sure that it looks the same as we left it. You do so.
Starting point is 00:23:06 You continue down the hallway walking along this almost red carpet. Your footfall is making no sound as whatever material this is seems to completely dull the sensation of your boots hitting the ground. You can almost feel
Starting point is 00:23:24 the comfort of walking through this hall somehow. As you make your way, you start to look off towards the right. There's large windows extending up in the kind of domed window pane you look out, and out to the right you see the promenade. You see that enclosed section of grass. You can see now the hole in the ground that was blown up from beneath where you were. You see just ahead of you, there's another even bigger, ornate door that seems to push out and go to that raised balcony where the dawn stood and proclaimed to you just earlier before.
Starting point is 00:24:05 And here you think if you were to go out those doors, it would be just a few short steps and you would be standing in his section of the balcony where he spoke. You can see the smoke still rising into the air as the fires of the gardens now have been. move to additional shrubbage and burn just a little brighter as the as the wreckage outside still still moves to wreak its havoc to the to the surrounding section of this manner you continue forward to the left as you meet this large actually the whole way it doesn't continue exactly straight. It's kind of just this mild set of maybe five steps that kind of curve to the right and go up around this expanse. As you meet this large doorway, as you enter what can only be described as this grand foyer. Beneath you, stairs go downwards. This white marble floor,
Starting point is 00:25:17 pristine in all directions, not coated in that kind of carpeting. It's massive. In the center of it, once again, this carved wooden table, the feet of it look like carved clawed paws, some great beast. It's completely bare. The only thing you see in this grand foyer is what looks like carved clawed paws, some great beast. It's completely bare. The only thing you see in this grand foyer is what looks like. like a vase that has been knocked over, a crystalline vase shattered, glass covering on the ground with a single red flower strewn on the floor. The hallway that reaches up and on your side meets those large doors extending out into the promenade comes back down in almost a semicircle form cutting out just a section of this foyer.
Starting point is 00:26:14 stairs will continue downwards to the foyer, but the hallway also continues around and forward as if you'd continue walking straight. And Ziggy, this is where in the overhead view, you'd see the additional rooms that are more clustered together. I don't think there's any reason to go down there. I don't, unless you wanna check out that rose or something, but I think we have to keep going towards this cluster of rooms
Starting point is 00:26:42 up ahead. We keep going up. That's where he's fucking hiding. All right, let's go. Let's do it. Fingers crossed. I will at Pike's side continue to make our way up and up and up. You move forward, continuing down this hallway.
Starting point is 00:27:04 That same soft plush carpeting marking your path as your feet fall comfortably down your journey as you continue. You hit the end of a wall, a large painting of the Don strikes almost heroically at the end of this hall as its frame, gilded and formed in gold with this leafing as it runs all the way around it. He strikes a heroic pose, standing tall, shoulders back, hand at his sides with that dark jet black widow's peak. the red cape furling from behind his shoulders
Starting point is 00:27:48 as you continue to the right as the hallway forks just a bit. There are a couple more turns as you follow this section until one set of doorways with that strange, eerie sigil, ends at this hallway, and then one more flight of small stairs seems to lead upwards to the right. We keep going up.
Starting point is 00:28:16 This is the kind of place. where your parents would try to hide if there's a fucking burglar or something? It feels about right. Yeah. It could be anywhere here, but... How many of the fucking red belts did he feed to that thing? You went mad? Seems that way. I don't think you build a syndicate or run it if you aren't already a bit mad. I... he's lost it, for sure, but...
Starting point is 00:28:44 Hey, we did that. You did that by uploading that video to InfoSphere. spheres. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I didn't do that. That's the power that we have. We've made him terrified. He's a scared little boy running. The job's not done. No, it's not. Until he's behind bars are
Starting point is 00:29:11 fucking dead. We still need to end this. Otherwise, what was the point? Okay. I work close. You can keep an eye out for for the lasers, the alarms. I'll take the front, and I'll just get ready to smash. All right?
Starting point is 00:29:34 Is there a door at the top of the stairs? Or is there, does it just go up? No, it just goes up to like a landing. Well, sorry, so it would go up. There's not a door like right at the top, but it goes up. There's a small, like, walkway forward, and then there's a door right there.
Starting point is 00:29:52 We didn't have to, like, kind of go to the top. Yeah, so we would go to the top. Yeah. And I would say, hold on, let me take a look. I want to investigate the door here, given that we're ascending this manner here. Go for investigation. Investigation is an 18. With an 18.
Starting point is 00:30:15 The first thing that stands out to you, this manner, gargantuan in scope, the capacity to hold, as Zicke, it said, hundreds of people, quite possibly. A huge staff. it has been absolutely silent to move through it. You are not even accompanied by the echoing fall of your own footsteps as you make this journey. It is the eerie silence that rings in your ears. But as first you move to this door, you for the first time hear soft conversing.
Starting point is 00:30:55 It sounds like the soft mumbling of voices. beyond this door, not right on the other side, but beyond it. You give it just a little bit of a crack, and you can hear words. Can't make anything out, but you can hear people talking somewhere in the distance beyond this door. You crack it a little bit further. You see another beautiful, you just get a snapshot of it. another beautiful room that opens out, kind of in a circular form in this.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Beyond it, no door, an open space, and above it on either side, two gun turrets pointed directly at the door that you stand at. Good fucking job, Ziggy. This is it. They're fucking this way. Did I see any traps? Finally, people, the fucking deal.
Starting point is 00:31:59 No lasers. Nothing, well, nothing beyond the gun turrets that pointed this door. The bad news is that they got two turrets pointed right at us. Damn. Or at this door. So we can't just go kicking it in. Unless we want to fucking go in guns blazing. But how dangerous does this gun turret look?
Starting point is 00:32:28 Would think... I mean, you've seen things like this before, even at other red belt hideouts. with full access to a security terminal, Ziggy was able to take them over very similarly. You think probably with a couple of extremely aggressive, like, well-placed shots, you, Pike, Ziggy, the combination of the three of you, you could probably blow them off the door. but then you would know for certain that your presence would be made clear. What do you want to do?
Starting point is 00:33:13 Do we try to sneak in there, or do we just fucking end this? No, I say I kick the fucking door in now. We just burst in, guns blazing, just smash them, take them by surprise. If we get caught, then... If we get caught, then they'll get the jump on us. That may be enough. to give them the edge.
Starting point is 00:33:34 It would be messy, but I have a protocol. I'm in it to win it. I'm with Coe on this one. I think we have to burst in. There's no way that the Don isn't right behind there. I'm also with Co. I'm tired of sneaking like the rats like these people. He's talking about the rats.
Starting point is 00:33:50 So the stalker needs to show him who the fuck he is. We're going to show him who the fuck we are. We got him cornered. How's everyone feeling? I'm a little roughed up. I got a little left to take. But I can... This wouldn't have been a short rest, would it?
Starting point is 00:34:08 In our best of the game, so? Probably not. I... I... I don't think it's been that long. It's a bit requires an hour, right? Yeah. Of like active resting, right?
Starting point is 00:34:21 Yeah, well, I mean, you're not really like anything heavier than opening doors so far, but... I don't quite think it's been an hour. Just give me a minute. I'm gonna reach into my pack, and I'm gonna pull out. some mini muffins. I'm gonna heal myself for 10 with Goodberry. I am gonna need a patch up. I can patch myself up. Yeah, I'm okay. Sure. Yeah. How's gonna tricks on my sleeve? How's Peck's doing? I'll turn. Oh yeah, I'll take a quick look. Is she getting any worse? Mm. Um, uh, roll quick updated medicine check. Updated medicine check. Updated medicine check.
Starting point is 00:35:08 18. With an 18, she does not think she's getting better. It is very hard. She's unresponsive and it's hard to get a reading that indicates one way or another. Nothing jumps out at you as though she's getting significantly worse in some way.
Starting point is 00:35:38 She's not colder. There's nothing really there's no aggressive change. She does not seem to be getting worse. Well, I'm going to take just one second. And I'll take out this like med kit, right, and sort of crack it open. And there are patches and various vials and syringes
Starting point is 00:35:59 and sort of like a field medics kit. And I am going to use my battle medic feature where I can utilize an action that allows people to spend their hit dice. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, absolutely. Instead of adding your con, you only add my proficiency, and I'm the one that rolls it. You rule the heels for them?
Starting point is 00:36:20 I roll the die. Okay. And that matters because I re-roll ones. With the same feat. Oh, my God. But expense our hit dice. But expense your hit dice. I'll take one.
Starting point is 00:36:30 But instead of adding your constitution, you only add my proficiency bonus. So it's only a plus two. Okay. So I'll start with myself, and I'm adding patches, and I'm sort of applying balms. And various. Oh, you're rolling. wounds and stuff will spray on my wounds and I'll inject myself with some stuff. So you roll each of our hit dice?
Starting point is 00:36:49 Yes, I do all the rolling. Okay. So hold on. I'm gonna start with myself. I'll take one. And I'll... I'm taking two. I'll use a... I'm just gonna blow all three. And I have 10 charges of my healing kit. So I'm using three of them. All right. Hell yeah, healing kit. So that's... Damn, that's cool. Origin Feats, folks. And as you're rolling, you're rolling, to see how much you're healing. You're going around.
Starting point is 00:37:16 You're all kind of gathered outside of this door. You get a sense that... I'm actually only these two. Everything that you've worked up to since the two of you started this fuels like it is just within your grasp. It is very close beyond potentially just these doors here.
Starting point is 00:37:36 The head of the syndicate that you have been doggedly hunting for months. And with that real estate, really washing over you. You take the time to punch in, add the gauze, put the medic kind of like glue in,
Starting point is 00:37:53 really go around sealing people up to prepare for what's to come next. All right. Do me next. I'll take at least one. D8. Stay and still. I have a bandage. I can re-roll this. This is one, right? Yep. Let me see how we do here before I decide.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Oh, whatever you rolled out, determine with the battlefield medic or a healing spell. I need to use the new role. So that's four. I'll take one more then. Okay. I have charged.
Starting point is 00:38:22 As long as you've hit dice. I do. I have all my hit dice. There we go. That's nine. Perfect. Hell yeah. So that's two more charges of my kit.
Starting point is 00:38:31 What about you all? Two D-10. Yeah. Here, let me wrap that. I got a bit of, uh... I blocked most of it, but I got a bit of a drill to the chest. Eight for you?
Starting point is 00:38:45 Hell, yeah. Another eight. I am full health. I am full health. Let's go. We'll do one D6. And I'll have all my lay on it. These are all utilized actions if it matters.
Starting point is 00:38:57 That's six. That's all I needed. Oh. I believe that's how that works. Dungeon Master, mechanically, I think we're trying to get to get the surprise condition on whoever's behind the door.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Obviously, there's, who knows? Does that still exist? I think that's what we're intending. what we're intending. But, okay. Now, I know this is gonna sound. Maybe you know we're coming. I know this is gonna sound a little weird.
Starting point is 00:39:25 I'm gonna run a new script that I've been working on. Uh, I call it recovery frames. All right. And whenever, whenever I'm able to, to siphon a little energy into my grid boy when I hit, when I hit them, uh, with, with my attacks, I'm gonna, I'm gonna disappear. Okay, you can still be there?
Starting point is 00:39:45 I'll still be there. You didn't like fucking cut and run. I'm not gonna disappear. I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna run or anything like that, but I'm just gonna be like, you know, pretty much see-through, okay? Just know that that happens and you can still yell at me and I can still talk to you, all right? It's just gonna make it easier for me not to get, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:02 and murder to death with guns. All right. Okay. Hey, guys, and if I go down, if I die, just get Pixel outta here, okay? We'll keep her safe. We'll fight to the fucking death. I made her promise. and I'm passing that promise on to you
Starting point is 00:40:19 if I fucking die. Swear to me. You'll get picks out of here. If I die, I swear. I'll try everything I can. You've got my word. Are we ready? And I like kind of lean back,
Starting point is 00:40:32 getting ready to just fucking kick the shit out of this door. I take one long drag on my cigarette before I flick it down the hallway. I'm ready. I've got my command line to run my executable ready to rock and roll. And as we enter, I'm going to cast recovery frames
Starting point is 00:40:48 which is my re-theme of a crooked moon spell, Vail of the Reaper, which I will concentrate in as we burst through the... What the fuck? What's that? Wait, what's that deal? A veil of the Reaper is very simple. You wrap yourself in... This is the text as written.
Starting point is 00:41:03 You wrap yourself in shadows that veil you between strikes. At the end of any turn in which you hit a creature with an attack roll, you gain the invisible condition until the start of your next turn. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. So I am, instead of wrapping myself in shadows,
Starting point is 00:41:15 I'm basically going to be putting on the camouflage from Metal Gear Solid, where you just go like that. That's awesome. Okay. I have an idea of what you're attempting to do here. Thank you. What do you do next?
Starting point is 00:41:34 I kind of like start like beat as my heart beats. I'm kind of giving that little bit of a thump of a drum beat as the, you know, the, the, the hair's on my arm and there's a little bit of a soft crackle of lightning. as I grit my club, and I just lean back, and I try to just kick this door in as hard as I possibly can. As that happens... And try and then to sprint forward. I will turn a knob as I change my secondary fire
Starting point is 00:42:02 to the disruptor beam to change to disintegrating energy. As I follow Cohen with the rest of my... I would still be behind... I would probably want to be... in the back to keep an eye on everybody as we run out. I'm almost shoulder to shoulder with Coe, but not quite. She's a little bit ahead.
Starting point is 00:42:22 I'm basically waiting for her to basically kick the door in, and then like, gauntlet ready, guns a place, and I'm going in right next to her. Basically, the second we bust in, I'm gonna start shooting at the gun turrets. Try to disable them or take them out. And we're just hoping for a little bit of surprise action. We're just hoping that Lady Luck is on our side.
Starting point is 00:42:40 And so large, this is a large ornate, dark brown doors, bar your patch. The voices softly chattering on the other side. These same swoopy, uneasy, red sigils, almost as
Starting point is 00:42:58 they're burned into the door itself are the only thing that stand between you and what comes next, but not for long as Coe swings hard. The club crashes forward as it connects with the door.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Splinters and shrapnel erupt in all directions as the door explodes under the weight of your attack. Let's fucking go. Turn that up. The door shatters out in front of you. Bursting wood, shrapnel, all directions. Immediately across the room, this circular room, almost gold, carpet of red, table in the center. lounge chairs strewn about. You hear a familiar growl, and you look into the eyes of about six red belt goons
Starting point is 00:44:00 sitting around the room totally taken aback. Immediately, the first things to move as you careen into the room would announcing your presence or the gun turrets move and swivel. instantly, Wrette, you fire out a disintegrator blast connecting with one. How does that attack work? So in roles or... If it is a object that's not being carried or held,
Starting point is 00:44:28 it just takes the damage. It's not being carried or held. It's an object save. I don't know if they can make a deck save. Okay, so they take 2D8 force damage and anyone that would be in a line with it. They're elevated. They're like above.
Starting point is 00:44:42 I wouldn't say anything's in a line with it. You're targeting shooting. straight at this thing, and I'll let you have it. Perfect, thank you. Come on. Six points of force damage. Six points of force damage. As the disintegrator ray fires up from the cannon blast,
Starting point is 00:44:59 it connects with this gun turret. It pierces into it and it starts to warble and explode as the gun turret blasts. Nice. Well fucking done. Let's fucking go. And as you move in, uh, everyone is it taking aback as you see all these goons like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:45:20 As I need everyone once more to roll for initiative. Let's fucking go. For the first time, in a long time, you fought demons, you fought undead, you've chased horrors of the night, you've dealt with terrible, terrible things, but what stands between you
Starting point is 00:45:40 and your ultimate prize is men. And I believe it, the surprise rule. is that they just rolled disadvantage on I looked it up to double check they do you roll disadvantage yeah I think that's a great adjustment it makes it not quite as fastly they're still going before me almost certainly I'm gonna do it like this 20 to 25 22 I'm not gonna even put 22 sorry lebusch 15 to 20
Starting point is 00:46:25 Uh, nope. 10 to 15. 14, 13. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's a lower level for you. 14, you said, Co?
Starting point is 00:46:37 I got a 14, she got a 13. Yep. So, quit believing, Co. I got a five. Yep. So that's the word for us. Yeah, so I'm,
Starting point is 00:46:47 I'm sure I'm last. You're like this. Oh, geez. The goons are going to go after you. in front of you, well... Zerxes? We'll fade. We'll be it. We'll fade.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Surely nothing other than the goons, though, right? Surely. Her growling. The room you enter is unnaturally cold and dark, despite the lit lamps that line the walls. Oh, shit. At the end of this space, the heavy double door is guarded
Starting point is 00:47:21 by six of Don Nito-Contralto's most loyal guards. They hold heavy repeater rifles, which they levy at you. Xerxes, the Chimieric stalker, Leaps from its perch in front of the thugs. They call out to each other to let no one through to the Don as the Red Belt's scarlet eye make their last stand.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Oh, shit. This is it. Ziggy. Okay. Seeing what Rhett did in this moment, had both of the turrets been destroyed? One turret, it's, oh, I'm sorry, I'm, Oh, we want Matt.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Let's map it out. You know, I, oh, what am I? I'm just very excited. I'm very excited. I'm very excited as well. This music really helps. Why don't we have this morning for our combat music? This is correct.
Starting point is 00:48:12 This is very correct. It's like swat cats up in this bitch. I'll put you guys back here. That's not a goon. That's not a goon at all. Like old kitty cat. Well, I actually don't know. Yeah, please.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah. Oh, is that Xerxes? That'sers. Oh, Jesus. It's a dormant of a Saturday, right? Probably just like, close. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Yep. Do we have a number six instead of a seven? No, it's, it's, oh, maybe I do. Actually. I mean, I don't know if they're seven or six, but if they're seven, then. No. Unless it's mixed up with someone out of that does, whatever.
Starting point is 00:49:53 It's fine. That's fine. That's what I have. That's what I have. There's six. No more are coming. Yeah, we'll see about that. We will.
Starting point is 00:50:05 You heard the Don, if they made it out of that cave, we lay them low here. On your feet, everybody! One of them calls out, has this almost large, like, hammer that's about as tall as he is, that wars with this kind of... with this kind of like revving engine, as he seems to be calling out instructions to the others. And I'm going to just call that number one, if number one's on the map.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Yep, yep. As he seems to be calling out to the others, the others with heavy rifles, and they start to draw beads at you, but honestly, as you've exploded into this room, you've taken everyone by surprise, and they've rolled at disadvantage, getting miserable positions in the initiative.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Ziggy. Like I said, where the turds destroyed. Oh, I'm sorry. There's one remaining. He destroyed the one on the right of the department. And are they surprised? They're surprised.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Oh. I got a round of... Well, so mechanically, they just roll a disadvantage. Oh, that's right. Yes. You're right. We don't get a free. That's right.
Starting point is 00:51:17 That's right. We don't blast them out of existence. We don't get a surprise round. That doesn't exist. I forgot about that. I want a round of surprise. Ooh. That is.
Starting point is 00:51:29 So I think that helps for the goblas and last minds of Fandel or the first encounter. They don't just want just DPK a level one party. Presumably one of these is destroyed. What did you hit with? God damn. I hit the. The, you just automatically hit or did you?
Starting point is 00:51:49 Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I disintegration raid this one. Anything else you don't have to do. Did you roll in attack there? No, it's perfect. Get back to GMing. Mine, because it's a line with the deck saving throw, but mine hits objects.
Starting point is 00:52:01 There wasn't anything. Yeah, he didn't have to roll. It just like connects. Part of his features. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. As a machinist. I'm going to send a shock of hypergrid energy.
Starting point is 00:52:18 I will literally swipe right on the grid boy. And from the side of it, a thin wave of beam of green light will cut through the air. and I will hit number two, hopefully. Gosh, I hope that hits. I'm gonna get a 22. You imagine?
Starting point is 00:52:40 No. Number two, the goon. Goon two. Ooh. That is. Sweet Lord. Can you imagine? This would be the hardest
Starting point is 00:52:50 we've ever had in our lives. By a wide margin. By a wide word. Sweet Christmas. We'd be so toast. That's going to, he's gonna take five radiant damage. damage. This is number two? Yeah, that's correct.
Starting point is 00:53:03 And just so I'm sure, the numbers that are not number one are two, three, four, five, and seven. Seven, yes. Got it. One through five and seven. When he's hit his form, when at the impact point, creates these sort of ripples, these scan lines, like the surface of a CRT television, in addition to taking the radiant damage I just described, he emits light. The scan lines actually create a kind of neon glow to him.
Starting point is 00:53:29 and in a 10-foot radius, he can't benefit from the invisible condition because I'm casting the equivalent of starry whiff. In case he had the opportunity to do that, that's important mechanically. But I can benefit from the invisible condition as Vail of the Reaper takes effect. And I go, and I just, just a fucking bear.
Starting point is 00:53:46 And I will very nimbly, one, two, two point five, three point five, five. I will start to circle the room and make my way out of sight, out of mind. That will be the conclusion of my turn. And I'm sorry, I was right something when you said it. How much damage did you do with your attack? Five points of radiant damage.
Starting point is 00:54:07 And I assume that he's mega vulnerable. It's quite vulnerable. It's quite ruble damage. Oh, if these guys are mega vulnerable, he's mega vulnerable. It's going to be like a shooting gallery. Yeah, so I actually have a special action that I would like to do when I roll initiative, but I want to describe it as part of my turn.
Starting point is 00:54:25 So as we bust into the room, the gauntlet is glowing. I'm ready to fucking throw down. I quickly survey the area and I hear that number one is shouting and giving instructions. So with the speed of an agile cat, almost like the one in front of us,
Starting point is 00:54:40 I begin to flank the corner of the room, 5, 10, 50, 20, 15, 20, 25, 50. And at the end of my movement, I kind of tuck and roll to get on one knee and level the gauntlet at number one. But what you'll notice is I'm actually giving off radiant light
Starting point is 00:54:56 more so than usual in my head. hair is actually kind of starting to lift up as I use my once per long rest, uncanny metabolism to heal 1D6 plus 4 and regain all of my focus points as part of my special action. My favorite monk features, it's so fucking good. That's so heavy metal. It's the gem like just like, yeah, the ball is glowing more than normal. Any remaining little bit of woundage that I might have had left is as gone as I top off to full health with this action.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Yeah. Then I spend a focus point to be able to take. three attacks and I'm gonna start by attacking number one. One attack at a time just to see if I kill this guy and then do anything else. Jesus. 16 plus seven is a 23. Yeah, that is. 12 plus 7 is a 19.
Starting point is 00:55:43 That hits. Easy. The last one will be a 19 plus 7 is 26. That hits. That's crazy. I will start by doing 10 damage on the first hit to number one. Okay. Eight more damage on the second hit to number one.
Starting point is 00:56:01 The second hit to number one. And another 10 damage on a third attack. 28 total. That adds up. Yeah, 28 points of damage to number one. As I come out of this roll glowing and just fire off these three shots and try to hit him square center mass.
Starting point is 00:56:25 You dash forward in almost this like super state is this radiant glow surrounds you as you're replenished by the forces that drive you. You move forward, you take position, the magento swirling light fire out almost joining together how rapid you fire them they drill towards this Scarlet Lieutenant of sorts as they land solid blows
Starting point is 00:56:54 and he almost falls back on one foot for a second before he swings the hammer down at his side and it starts to kind of rev up with this crazy engine as it goon as he'll like move forward and start to presumably move towards you. What am I doing? 20 points.
Starting point is 00:57:15 It wasn't enough to kill him? No. The Scrawl lieutenant? You know where you are? You're the Scarlet headquarters. I see. I'm going to, I'm running in as I, uh, I know that Pizzle can't hear me, but I'm like, okay, come on, Pix, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Starting point is 00:57:39 And I look at this cat and I think about my own vehicle, my bike, my shit. Thunderfang as I shout out, ride the tiger baby, as I run forward and I, with my club, an attempt to smash this thing in the face. 12. A 12 misses. You swing the club forward, but this is a, even though it is large, this is an agile saber stalker,
Starting point is 00:58:23 moving lively, dodging, it's what it's known for. It ducks down briefly as it sees the club come wide over top. He's fast. That's bonus action. I am going to, as it ducks under, I am going to bring my elbow down on top of it. As I am going to use my range of the streets and attempt to follow with a, that will definitely hit
Starting point is 00:58:54 with a 20. I think so. Oh, that on there. As I, my, once again, the electricity surges out as my harmony, as my connection to the cosmic forces of the galaxy burst out of me as I'm just going to
Starting point is 00:59:14 fucking use divine smite. Oh, this fucking thing. Let's fucking go. As sparks of harmonic lightning and electricity and thunder and storm all, is focused in my elbow. Exactly, the Ryjin elbow.
Starting point is 00:59:31 I try to crack its skull as I... When the club goes over top, it perfectly positions you to drop this crackling lightning thunderous Ryjin elbow as the fury of the streets and the power of heavy metal crashed down on top of Xerxes and you catch it directly in the
Starting point is 00:59:56 skull. 22 points of bludgeoning and radium. If that, I can break that out, it would be... That's gross, man. It makes a difference. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, I do need you to break that out. Oh, okay. 10 points of bludgeoning, and 12 points of radium. Nice. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:17 The bludgeoning as you crack the elbow in, you feel that, you feel that land heavy blow. and Xerxes, but as the lightning crackles and extends out and the thunderous boom hits, you feel as though that doesn't do quite the damage you feel like it should have,
Starting point is 01:00:39 as this kind of second portion, the concussive blow extends that radiant amount out. And I also use of a bonus action as I am going to, as part of that as I am roaring at it, And as part of me screaming Ride the Tiger, I will also use compelled duel, trying to lock fighter to fighter
Starting point is 01:01:06 as my bonus action. And then that is, it needs to make a wisdom saving throw DC-14. Can you do both spells at the same turn? Oh, I can't, I'm sorry. It's not a spell. I do not do that. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:01:22 No, that's legit. That's important. I keep forgetting. that it is a spell now. We're about to out-action economy his entire fucking boss. Oh, that's legit. That's fair.
Starting point is 01:01:32 That's fair. That was my bonus. The Zabai was my bonus action. Thank you. I need to get the 2014 paladin out of my brain. Yep. Yeah. The Xerxes looks at Yucco
Starting point is 01:01:54 and hisses and growls. These gem-like tendrils on the back sparkle for a moment with this glowing energy. There's a shimmer that hangs in the air as its eyes rise up and almost lock with yours.
Starting point is 01:02:12 It gets this strange expression on its face before it moves rapidly. He goes in one direction and it goes the next shit. When suddenly it disappears from sight. And you can remove it from the board. I should have fucking hit that shit.
Starting point is 01:02:32 I wish we had fairy fire. StoryWess the purpose of story Wizz. Yeah. Where are you going, you coward B? Picks has used a fairy fire too. Okay. It's my turn. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:02:47 God. Well, do I actually have this? Well, I can't wait to get jumped by this thing while I'm fighting a guy with a revving up hammer. I think. Oh, God. He's a revving up hammer hammer. He's a revving up hammer hammer.
Starting point is 01:03:06 We have no hope. He's that ding-dong gut half run. I keep hearing about. If my beam goes 30 feet, would you say, depending on where this is on the ceiling, do you think I could beam it? How far away? How far are you ready now?
Starting point is 01:03:25 So he beamed it just because before the map was down and it was theater of the mind, I beam this one. Yeah, you gave it to it. Well, that was like, you know, that was badass. It was very badass. It was a 30-foot line that's 10 feet wide. Give it to him. Um, no, no, it's fine.
Starting point is 01:03:41 I'm moving, I'm moving forward. Side by side with Co. This is probably a bad idea. Actually, one, two, three, four, five. Man, man, man, exactly right, man. Um, no, I'm just going to say I do that. And, oh God, I move Ziggy. I think Ziggy was here.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Yeah, close enough. Close enough. Um, I am going to take a shot at, seeing that Pike's working on number one, I'm just going to take a shot at number one. I'm just gonna take a shot at number seven. Yeah, let's do it. We gotta lower their number of actions per round air. Oh.
Starting point is 01:04:15 We gotta kill some of these guys. I don't know how I'm gonna kill these guys. 17? I'm in trouble. From which one? Just do more damage. To hit number seven. I'm in cantrip.
Starting point is 01:04:23 Oh, 100%. 17? Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I shoot my, my blast of graviton energy. We're figuring out. Energy. 16 points of forced damage.
Starting point is 01:04:38 Big money. Oh boy. And then you fire that blast out and that warbling ball travels of Graviton energy, travels across and catches number seven directly in the chest as it knocks him, the force of it knocks him back against the wall. And he falls in that love seat for just a moment before it's stunned almost and he kind of shakes it off. He immediately looks a little boy. Oh my god. That's gonna be my turn.
Starting point is 01:05:13 I want to save my, my beams. Oh, number one is souped up. All the other guys, we can kill them. Exactly right. Okay. That's why I'm letting you get on number one. I don't regret going after one now. Although he's gonna mechanized hammer me.
Starting point is 01:05:27 Number one, number one is souped up. Yeah, he's like the guy. That's why I want, he gave like, a command. I knew it. I called it. I was like, fuck, this thing's getting up here behind me. And I'm gonna get caught off guard. It's gonna bite my ass.
Starting point is 01:05:42 I mean, they probably still have a lot of age speed, right? Yeah. My catch-its are totally working. Oh, shit. Pike, with your eyes trained directly on number one, yeah. You don't see it in time. Oh.
Starting point is 01:05:58 A 26 to hit. Oh! It just misses. You almost, for a moment, you feel the hot breath of Zerxes at the back of your nose. at the back of your neck. You can almost feel the movement of the air as the paw comes down
Starting point is 01:06:15 in the slashing claws, cratch you. Oh, that's across the back. Oh, no, it's probably, hang on, it's probably radiant slashing. Well, that would be cool, everybody. Just so you know, I am resistant to radian damage. So please break that out for you.
Starting point is 01:06:28 It's slashing in force. Ah, shit. About time. I'm not resistant to force. About time. Okay. I'll break it out. I'll break it out.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Hang on. No, you don't need to break it out. You don't need to break it out? No, don't you? It's slashing and force. Then don't have to break it out. Oh, you don't do anything with slashing? It just has to contain, if the damage role includes bludging, piercing, or slashing, I can attempt to deflect it.
Starting point is 01:06:51 It has slashing. Yeah, but you don't have to break it out. Oh, I see what you're saying. You only has to break it out if it was radiant because I'm resistant to radian. Seven points of slashing and I know you just told me not to break it out. I did. That's fine. I don't know. I was trying to save it.
Starting point is 01:07:04 I don't know. I didn't know. I was telling you this. Um, my only question would be. would be if you feel like I have the ability to even attempt to deflect it because I've been caught off guard Is that like a move you have? It's just reaction. Yeah, it's a reaction I can take Oh, yeah, you can attempt to reflect it. All right, so how much was little damage? You have monk-like refliflars. Yeah, I felt the error move. He said it himself.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Uh, 18. Holy. Holy. So I can block up to 19 1d10 plus 9, so I'm gonna try. Get out of you. Yeah, yeah. I only block 12. So I take six. You still take six. You still take six. You don't see the creature appear, but you feel the hot breath.
Starting point is 01:07:48 You sense the change, the ship in the wind as the paw approaches you, and just barely in time you get the gauntlet up to block what would have been a far more menacing blow as the claws come down. But that's not all this coming to life. Where the hell did you come from? Yeah, I never know when he used my reaction.
Starting point is 01:08:08 That's the problem. Oh, fuck. Here comes Mr. Hammer McGillicuddy. Mr. Hammer, man. Red Hammer McGillicuddy. That's right. Let's get the camera over there. That's kind of good enough, right?
Starting point is 01:08:27 22. Get it's. That shall do it. The concussion hammer swings forward. You're almost, you're spent your moment blocking the slash in the jerseys. He finds the opening to run forward
Starting point is 01:08:45 with this giant, hammer is he swings it forward and you're able to get the other side of your arm up just briefly to not take it square in the ribs but you are hit with just four points
Starting point is 01:09:08 of bludgeoning damage. Thank you. Oh wow, that's it. Holy. I rule of minimum. I mean, what good is 19 AC if I didn't ever doggia? Okay, yeah, yeah, I take it. Nothing else happens? Other guys go. Well, that's fine. No, thank you for reminding me. Give me a concussion.
Starting point is 01:09:27 They'll roll, uh, there's six. Uh, we'll say the two closest to Ziggy roll on him. Uh, the two closest to Coe roll on her.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Um, and the one, seven will roll on Red. Ziggy's invisible currently. So I don't know if they're trying to perceive him and they're just shooting where he was and then he's damage. No. They're not,
Starting point is 01:09:44 they're not that kind of, but, um, they're not them kind of goos. They just started blasting. Yeah, they just started blasting into a killbox. So we'll do three and three on Coe and Red.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Okay. I'm in a little bit of, I'm going to try to make sure pixels facing away from the fire. Okay, like that. You, they're all like louches. Like, couch chairs. You basically burst in. They didn't even get a-
Starting point is 01:10:05 So it's, I think it's these five. One, two, three, four, five. Unless you want to say that there's a sixth. That's not the- Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. So we'll say two fire on code, three fire on red. Oh. Go. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:10:20 Oh boy, too many toasts. Um, I will. I would venture guess that none of those hit. I'm just gonna assume that a non- Concussion hammer is a funny thing, because when is a hammer not concussion? You know? Oh, if it's just like a hammer.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Does an 18 hit, Brett? It does. How many attacks are? You get like three. Just want all these heavy blasters have come through, but all this kind of like laser fire erupts around the room. Things start exploding. Chairs are blasting up. Leather upholstery is going in all directions. Wood is flying apart.
Starting point is 01:11:05 Only one is actually going to connect with you. I'm taking it. I'm taking it. I'm taking it. I might use a feature. Who knows. Come on. He's there. Yeah, it's very yawning. We're entering the yawning hours. I took a ghost, so I'm good for hours. Six points of radiant damage as this heavy repeating rifle lands a blow that he can't just straight in the shoulder. I almost just like ignore it as I'm keeping my eyes focused on this gun turd. Oh speaking of which if this gun turd needs to go, it should. Oh yeah, that's what I
Starting point is 01:11:39 totally forgot about it. Um, let's see. What are you gonna do turn me in a Swiss cheese? So all the snake runs by with a chafe grenade. Yeah, uh, chaff? Chaffed? Yeah, chaffed. Yeah, unless it's chafing. It's thine. It's thine. I mean, he has a dummy, Salt is chafing. Oh, yeah. I keep in the cards. Kept you waiting, huh? Does this 17 hit you?
Starting point is 01:12:03 Bap, bah, bah, bah, almost certainly. Exactly right, yep. It's gonna be like 10 D10 damage. Oh, kept you waiting, huh? Uh, eight points of radiant damage the gun turret fires down. The blasts hitting the ground as they run up towards you as the gun turret swoops up to draw a bead at you.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Oh, that wasn't very heavy metal of you. Ziggy. Oh. I suddenly flash into existence and I turn and I, uh... How much does it look like the five damage I did number two did? Is he hurting? I know that he's not the main guy, but like, that's nothing. I would say it didn't seem impressive.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Yeah. Five damage. He's 16 damage to this guy and he's still standing. Yeah. Which one? I don't know how to... Uh-oh. I don't know how to...
Starting point is 01:13:10 The 16... I would say the 16-health guy, though, looks... You said he got... Not great. I mean, he's definitely, like, looks rough. Fuck him up. The five-damage guy looks like he's still ready to cruise. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:22 I am worried about another one of these blitz coming from... The Tiger. So I'm going to reverse course, and I'm going to use Starry Whisp on this gentleman. The Xerxes, I believe. And where is it? That's going to be a 25 to hit. Oh, this one? Zerxes?
Starting point is 01:13:55 Zerxes? That's going to be six points of radiant damage. But he's going to emit the same dim light that I demonstrated before. And he can't go invisible. He can't go invisible. Okay. Okay. Cool. And do I have any bonus actions that are worth anyone's attention? Not really, but I do go invisible again.
Starting point is 01:14:19 And so I will go. I mean, you're preserving your health total. It's pretty fucking good. Well, we'll see. We'll see. I might lose that feature for some other more powerful thing. Because right now I'm just doing one D or round, and that's not, never enough. Well, keeping that thing visible.
Starting point is 01:14:34 I think you're doing a good thing. Good job. I don't say anything. I know that I'm invisible, and I just keep looking at my, like, I can see myself almost like an opaque glass, right? A tinted glass, and I can continue to work on my keyboard and figure things out. I'm evaluating stuff. I feel very alien in SILA, like almost a third body experience as this happens, but I don't
Starting point is 01:14:59 say anything. I just try to not get shot by bullets and to protect my friends, and just seems like the largest threat, that's the conclusion of my turn. Pike. It's extremely important that I have my reaction back. I am going to spend another focus point. I have two remaining after this to make three attacks. I'm going to start by just
Starting point is 01:15:16 punching hammer McGillicuddy in the face to see if I can move down this guy. Okay. Attack number one is going to be 21 to hit. 21 hits. Attack number two is going to be a miss. Nine. Nine will miss. Attack number three
Starting point is 01:15:32 is going to be 18 to hit. 18 hits. Let's see. The first one will be eight points of bludgeoning damage as I punch hammer McGill-McGutty in the face. This might be the first time of my life
Starting point is 01:15:49 I get to use my full-run feature. I'm just letting you know. I just knows a chance. You throw this first punch and he thinks he's reading your attack flow and he brings up actually the base of the hammer as he moves the handle quickly and it blocks your swing as it comes in.
Starting point is 01:16:06 But that just opens the run. rest of his body up for your other two blows to land easy. I've only rolled the first one for eight. Then the remainder, then another one, I'll bring my knee up into his ribs hard for another nine points of bludgeoning damage. That's pretty neat. Just trying to drop this guy. And then also prepared to get bit in the ass again by the cat.
Starting point is 01:16:27 You land this heavy blow, your knee finds purchase in his ribs, you can feel them crack under your blow as you run. As you launch it into his side, you can hear it. He's looking rough. Come down, jackass! Yeah. Go. I am going to see that all of this is happening over here,
Starting point is 01:16:54 so I'm just going to start running towards these assholes. So can I get there? One, two, three. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. What's your speed? I think it's just 60, probably. Or sorry, 30.
Starting point is 01:17:06 Yeah, six squares. Yeah, you can get it. Easy. Easy peasy. You really gonna die for that asshole? As I am going to just run forward and I'm going to swing at number four, I suppose. That's a 17 to hit with my club.
Starting point is 01:17:31 17 will definitely hit one of the normal guys. Oh, don't I get to re-roll ones with Create Open Master? Or is there two's? They're twos now. Hold on. I didn't have that. Didn't they like nerf the fuck out of it? I think maybe.
Starting point is 01:17:48 It's a three. Okay. So eight points of damage to number three. Number three, you crash in with the club. Eight points of damage. Fighting style. Fighting style. I'm not going to be a master. I'm sorry. A huge blow as it crashes in.
Starting point is 01:18:07 And then I think actually I have my weapon mastery which I believe I just knock him back. Keep this guy sculling. Yeah, I just knock him back against the... And then I will go in with a kick. You do still have that one more square of them. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Starting point is 01:18:28 That'll definitely hit. And I think I'm just going to use another spell slot and just bonus action with my kick. the lightning and thunder kind of pools around my foot if I try to do a divine smite on this guy. That's 2D8. And that's fair. I actually don't know what the new one is.
Starting point is 01:18:51 I just know that I got rid of that ridiculous badonka-dunk feature. Does bludgeoning and radiant matter here? Nope. Okay. So that is 10. 10. I want to learn the song.
Starting point is 01:19:13 Yeah. 13. 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage. You hit with the club that bashes him against the wall. His body shoots back and bounces against it. Before he can really come off the wall and charge at you. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 01:19:32 We're not letting you to the dawn. We're going to hold this line as long as it takes so he can get done what he needs to. And it's as he's shouting that out. You pick your leg up and you juke. forward like a boot heel kick. Your leg crackles with that lightning energy. And as the boot heel hits him in the chest, the lightning courses through and blasts out the back of him as he crumples to the ground. I'm imagining that I did basically, I did instead of falcon kick, I do Tiger kick,
Starting point is 01:20:01 and it's lightning, it's a storm instead of fire. What fucking last one? Tiger kick! Tiger kick! Okay, that is my turn. That fucking mock. I mean, that's huge. You're next. Dubastis. I mean Persian. I mean, Surcease.
Starting point is 01:20:22 Hey, hey, legally distinct. Noah, our lawyer, you didn't hear this. It's not derivative. It's parody. It's not derivative. Just shifting of course.
Starting point is 01:20:31 Are you some visible? Yeah. Yeah, I can give you the invisibility ruling if you want. The actual rules look like. Also, I feel bad about time. I get advantage on the role of initiative. I am concealed. I'm not affected by any effect that requires
Starting point is 01:20:45 its target to be seen unless the effects the creator can somehow see you. Any equipment you are wearing and carrying is also concealed. You have disadvantage on attack rolls against me and attack rolls of me have advantage. The other way around, sorry. Attack rolls against me have disadvantage and I have attack advantage on attack rolls against creatures. And yeah. Xerxes is going to do a similar like movement pattern before it's going to attempt to go invisible.
Starting point is 01:21:13 We'll kind of shimmer and fade for a moment, but that glowing light will keep it seen by all involved. It will still, however, move towards rent. You will be able to take an attack on the two. Man. I thought for once I was actually going to be able to deflect the attack. I was really hoping. It never comes up.
Starting point is 01:21:34 It's so rare. No, no, no. I'm just going to punch. He's coming for me. I'm just going for me. Yeah, nut punch it. I miss something or? Yeah, that'll be a,
Starting point is 01:21:43 23 to hit. 23 hits. Six points, minimum damage. But six more bludging as I like, as it runs away. Right in the nuts. I don't actually not punch it. I would never do that.
Starting point is 01:21:56 I can never be it. I just want to say, I just understood why he's named Xerxes. That's very clever. I'm very impressed. I'm very impressed with that name. Zerxes charges at you. Swings once with a ball,
Starting point is 01:22:12 swings twice with a second. The first, I'm presuming, will go totally wide. The second, 24. That is. And shield won't even help. You got me. Great jerb. Eight points of slashing damage and three points of force damage as the swing of the ball comes down.
Starting point is 01:22:52 So that's 11. 8 and 3? Oh, boy. 8 and 3. 8.3. That's 11. I'm taking it. Oh, damn.
Starting point is 01:23:03 Fuck it. Okay. Awesome. That's a nightmare. Hell yeah. And now it's your turn. It's false. What's really laughing at? No, don't do it.
Starting point is 01:23:15 Don't do it. Don't do it. What's going on? You can regret? You can regret? You can't regret. And chat says, because Xerces backwards is
Starting point is 01:23:22 sex wrecks. That is an unfortunate coincidence. That's why. That is so good. You got it. That's very funny. I get mauled in the back but I am channeling
Starting point is 01:23:37 an allied infantryman storming Normandy Beach there's a machine gun nest in front of me and my only my only mission is to take out this machine gun right? Because it's going to lay down suppressive fire it's going to wipe out my teammates so I'm just going to keep
Starting point is 01:23:55 I'm like I almost don't miss a beat I'm just going to keep running forward if he can take his reaction Oh my god, boy. How much damage you take from the initial attack? 17. Yeah, okay. To hit? Yeah, to hit. That misses. Oh, nice. Nice.
Starting point is 01:24:13 So it's got to flex off my, uh, noise. Off my ether tanks as I just keep going forward. He swipes quick, but it bounces off the tanks as you trunch forward. Mission at hand. I see this guy defending the machine gun. I turn and I shoot him quickly. Uh, let's see what I do. Hang. Let's catch him straight.
Starting point is 01:24:33 The A-Boss 13 hit Which one is that? 7 13 hits Oh wow 13 is the AC Thank God
Starting point is 01:24:46 16 more damage And he was hit already Yeah he did 16 damage to the last round Yeah that's right Fucking smoke this guy What's the total there? 32 Yeah
Starting point is 01:24:55 As you walk up You barely even look at this guy As the warbling Graviton fires out and this blast hits center as it just cuts him in two. As it reverse gravities his body and sends the two parts
Starting point is 01:25:12 in different directions entirely. So like Butch shooting Vincent in both pictures. He comes out of the job and the guy's like I'm going to running up bonus action. Yeah. The same thing, roll damage, you hit
Starting point is 01:25:30 automatically, can't dodge. You're just that Yeah, I'm just in full. That's nine points of force stole. With nine points, the other automated defense turret falls. Oh, I got you. In Warhammer, the old world rules, I feel like a unit with GravTech would like cause fear or terror.
Starting point is 01:25:55 No, no. It would be pistol fear times a hundred. It's like how black powder technology in the RPG causes fear of peace and trolls. It does it in regular Woffrop. Yeah, 100%. It just hasn't really come up very much, but it's like the average peasant, when Jasper 5 is good, he's like...
Starting point is 01:26:20 That's right. Join our Patreon of the Pearl Dolphantine. No matter engineering. Superior craftsmanship. 24 to hit you, Pike. What? 24 to hit you. Yeah, it fucking hits. I still have my fucking reaction, though. No! No! No! No! No! No! No you got!
Starting point is 01:26:38 You fool! That's fine. I don't even know if It's ever worth it to... Oh, you should have fucking called me out. I just forgot. I forgot. It's late. I thought you're making the choice. No, I did.
Starting point is 01:26:50 Nine points of bludgeoning damage. Five points of force damage. Of thunder damage. Fuck! Nine and five. Five of thunder. 14. As the hammer swings up as he was blocking one of your blows down before.
Starting point is 01:27:01 He swings up the hammer as it catches you right under the chin as the engine to war. Uh-oh. Fuck me. I'm so mad. It's late. I'm making a misploid. This always happens on fucking Stardust in fucking 4 in the morning. And I need you make a con saving.
Starting point is 01:27:18 On Stardustra days. Oh, shit. Here comes the concussion portion. No, I'm toast. Khan? I'm fucked. Con. Yeah, 19.
Starting point is 01:27:26 Get fucks. Oh, okay. DC 13, you crushed it. I'm fucking dazed still, though. Bang. Oh, shit. You are just a little bit dazed, however nothing else happened. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:27:39 The other goons, three. Three are up. One will fire at Rhett. The other two fire towards Co. That's correct, right? If four is making a shot at her directly. No, no, no, at you. Four's your two.
Starting point is 01:27:58 He still disadvantaged, because she's in her face. Or she's in his face. Okay, we just see if this is. Plus. So the first is at 18. Second is a 14. 14.
Starting point is 01:28:10 No, no. So the other two, Well, wait, well, that was a red. The other two are going to fire it back. And they're straight. Okay. If I'm facing him and they're facing Pixel. Oh, that's interesting.
Starting point is 01:28:28 One is a 15, one is a 20 for you. 20 will hit. 20 will hit. The heavy rifle, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Several blasts come out. As, man, raining into your back, you feel the radiant laser fire is you take nine points of
Starting point is 01:28:50 radiant damage. Okay. Pixie, okay? No response. I'm being fired on by, I have two fronts. Yeah, that's me. You? Yeah, you.
Starting point is 01:29:07 I knew LaBusch was him. I was getting all confused up here. These kiddie scripts are not working for me. I'm just hitting replay, replay, replay, replay, but it's not fast enough. It's not enough damage. so I quickly switch over and find one of my classics, Ping. It's not going to be an attack role,
Starting point is 01:29:27 so I'm not going to trigger Vail the Reaper, or I'm sorry, I meant recovery frames, but I am going to use that to my advantage. I'm going to stand there, and I'm going to go, Hey, Kitty, fuck you! And I'm going to cast a ping at first level. It's just going to take 3D4 damage. as I watch these missiles out in all directions.
Starting point is 01:29:57 10 points of force damage to the key. Very reasonable. 3D4 plus one or plus anything? One each. I think he did. No, no, no. It's just. Yeah, it was 3D4 plus 3. I just did 7 plus 3 is 10. Force damage. They all strike simultaneously. You just see this series of very thin green lines just immediately They smash in, but they pierce, they sink in.
Starting point is 01:30:23 The wireless wizard is the little like doppy goes across. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. From the clothes or like a computer. Yeah, I'm thinking of dark signs of mega beams, omega beam eyes with green. I want to attract its attention. I don't know anything like any of dark signs. He always, he'll, they like travel like.
Starting point is 01:30:39 Oh, that's cool. The Kear and Heights. No, Kear and He has a Steppenwolf. Steppenwolf. That's right. The famous villain. If we had just taken a short rescue fuckers. Yeah, I mean too.
Starting point is 01:30:52 Too barrel, man. You can't always just take a fucking shot. What time? What time? No, it's not a dungeon. No, my medicatee on the line. No, we're here. What a fucking kit. Yeah. Keto. Uh, I stand my ground.
Starting point is 01:31:11 That's the choice that I'm making when I know that I become visible again. I'm not moving to run. I am trying to get the attention of Zerxes. and I taunt it. That'll be the end of my turn. Noticably, it very easily turns towards you. Yeah, I mean, I just hit it with some very powerful... Mission accomplished.
Starting point is 01:31:32 Oh, Pike. Get my reaction back. I will spend at my third of four focus points to again flurry of blows and one attack at a time trying to drop hammer McGillicuddy and fuck this guy up. Go ahead.
Starting point is 01:31:47 18 plus 7 is 25 to hit That hits? Come on That's gonna be eight points of punching damages I try to punch him into the throat collapses wind bite Okay, you do so
Starting point is 01:31:59 You land the punch in the throat But he has a muslin neck You don't quite collapse his windbub Well again, I go for I drive a knee What he coughs heartily? I drive a knee hard into his ribs I got a 15
Starting point is 01:32:11 To do what? To hit It's gonna be very close 15 hits? Okay beautiful That is the AC Okay That's gonna be maximum damage for 11 points of bludging damage
Starting point is 01:32:20 As I try to crack this guy's ribs and just like drop him like like Punctures liver and just send him I mean like I'm not holding back I'm trying to kill this guy Yeah he is he is a he is a he's a cheat hair away from death It's a cheat hair Okay, well that's a 16 to hit and I just 16 I assume that I can't Yeah I'm gonna not kill him a strong way to this one I think and so So then the sensing that he's basically on desk door here, after my left knee connects with his ribs,
Starting point is 01:32:55 as soon as my feet hit the ground, I jump to grab his head and I drive my knee directly in the machine. And then I try to just end him. Yeah, you leap-buck grab his head, drive it straight into your knee. There's a succumbing, there's a sickening reverb as his head bounces back, and you actually look at the moment, as his nose and facial bone is cracked and body. broken and caved inwards as his face is almost inverted as he falls back to the ground dead
Starting point is 01:33:24 i'm still uh reeling from the hammer hit to my chin and i kind of i kind of hit the ground as i as i realized he's in the ground and i steady myself and i say uh i'm coming in sickie and i'm gonna use my movement to move forward and try to engage the sling god you turn that guy into a golden ippc it's just not black figure it's very good that's my turn oh shit really This is all my reaction. That's all it matters. I am going to shoot. I think I just finish this guy.
Starting point is 01:33:58 That's the only option. I agree. I'm going to move around. Which one is this? To number four. I'm going to move around and try to basically get in between him. So put pixel towards rat. Got it.
Starting point is 01:34:11 And away from these, where all these guys are shooting. Got it. Yep. And I'm going to basically try to be faint. and do some dirty tactics as I swing in with my club. Uh-oh. Swinging in with my club.
Starting point is 01:34:25 Hold on, no, no, no, it's good. I think we're good. That is, sorry. I'm in spells. I shouldn't be in spells. 13. 13 hits. That's the AC.
Starting point is 01:34:35 13 is the AC. 13 is the AC. I am going to use my fucking last spell slot and just, I'm tired of this asshole. As I, uh, uh, uh, surge my energy. into this as laser spikes emit from my club. As I scream, oh, hell yeah, that's 10 plus max damage, well, at least on that.
Starting point is 01:35:01 10, 12, 12, 19 plus 5, I think. Oh no, plus 4, plus 4. 19, oh no, it is 5. No, it should be plus 5. 19 plus 5 is 24 points of bludgeoning and radium. As you crash in with the club, the spikes that jet out, crackle with lightning as they rip into the stomach of this goon.
Starting point is 01:35:27 As you cut the life from him bashing the club straight into him, as he slumps over your club, you're the only thing holding him standing up right. I will use my weapon mastery and just send his corpse fucking flying. I go run back in smash. Yeah, he hits the wall and his body father falls behind the couch. Yeah, yeah. You just need two feet.
Starting point is 01:35:50 Gross. I can't get to any guy with 60 feet of movement, can I? 60 feet? 30, 30, 6 square. Six square. Six square, sorry.
Starting point is 01:35:59 This is all that's left? Just start making your way. Just start making your way. Between the kitty and you can make a technical. That's difficult terrain. If you just like be over this way, you can get there. Okay.
Starting point is 01:36:09 Yeah. I'm just, I'm running as I once again leap forward as I extend my foot and I try to use Tiger Kick. Uh, that is going to. hit, that's a 20. Oh, there we go. Hold on. Hold on good ideas.
Starting point is 01:36:25 That is nine points of bloodshiny damage. To number five. Oh, shit, you're still going? Nine points? Yep, yeah. He's got her punch. I got my unarmed strike. You race over and crack a punch
Starting point is 01:36:40 into the body of number five. It hits hard, but he's still raring for a fight. I just want to see what weapon mastery I use, because I I think I have dirty fighting, so I can use either push or sap. Does you remember what Sapp does? Oh, wait, hold on.
Starting point is 01:36:58 It should stay on your character sheet. I think it's, I think it reduces it moose speed or something. Oh, God, I don't know. Vex's advantage. I will just, I'll just, I'll knock him back into the wall. That's fine. Okay, that's my turn. Is he alive?
Starting point is 01:37:12 Oh, Sapp. Sap, does his advantage on the next attack. Dan said, Dan says you Sapp. Okay, he's just abandoned on the next attack. He's been sacked. I knocked the wind out of his gut as I just get my, boot right in his stomach. As you
Starting point is 01:37:24 leap over with a tiger kick, Zerxes charges at Ziggasel's like this. She's like we get it burning and then the back of the fucking baby Bjorn. Yeah. The little bear? Zerxes and will immediately
Starting point is 01:37:41 swipe two claw attacks. Oh man. Oh, that's, that ain't half bad. One is 16, one is 23. Both hit. Geez. It's all about meo. Um, okay. Can you want to do a really good Tom scream?
Starting point is 01:37:59 Oh, there's no way. That's really hard to do. Like, you know, it's really hard. Oh, yeah, it's the show or like, you know. Yeah, no, it's... Yeah. No, no, you're talking about the, like, the, the Wilhelm? No. No, no, it's a very specific, like...
Starting point is 01:38:15 When Tom gets hurt, Tom and Jerry, he is a crazy yell. Oh! Does damage types matter for you at all? I'm not resistant, immune, or vulnerable to anything. As the claws of Xerxes both come forward and slash into you, you will take 24 points of damage. Holy! As the cat pounces on you, this is this crystalline stalker,
Starting point is 01:38:46 pounces on you. And for a moment, it's quillots. I turn it into cubes like in a resonating. quills will glow on its back as the quills will move and strike forward at you. Hold on. Do you have, are you conscious? I'm conscious. Okay. For not. I bet barely, but yeah. The quills will strike forward at you. Now it might not be. 18 to hit. Quillian. Oh, that's, wow. I presume it's like a B after the, after the quills are delivered, it dies.
Starting point is 01:39:29 No. I don't think no. 14 points of damage in a mix of piercing and rea. That would be the worst genetically engineered muscle on the planet? You did exactly 38 damage, which is my max hit points. And I fall unconscious. I, uh, I'm a beefy, beefy tricetal. Oh, that's fair.
Starting point is 01:39:49 That's fair. Can you imagine they designed this thing to die after these? He's ragdolling up. He's ragdolling up. Yeah, you do like it. Yeah. Like GTA 5, like, there's like a bottom plant right behind them. Oh my God, it's fucking funny.
Starting point is 01:40:08 He's a weird, his body shoots off and out of space. This is canon. In another life, Ziggy's like, that didn't hit me, and someone else's like 64 tick. I see Ziggy go down, but this just happened. So I turn and I immediately shoot a blast at Zerxes with my action. and make the attack roll. Natural one. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:40:51 I get Ziggy in the face. We were due. We were due. Yes. But I see that Pikes over there with them. And I know that there's two guys here and pixels in a bad way. So I'm going to turn as I cranks one of the knobs or levers
Starting point is 01:41:24 as my graph cannon starts to work. And the nozzle narrows as that disintegrate integration beam, whores and shoots forward in a 10-foot line. Yeah, fucking smooth. Oh, shit. It's both of them. They both need to make a deck saving pro. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:41:41 I'm gonna use my actual red dice for this one. They're all wreck dice in a way. Oh, one gets a natural one. The other gets a 13. Keep it. That's good. That was a roll. I saw it.
Starting point is 01:41:52 It was perfectly good roll. Okay, that's exactly average. Oh, an 8 and 1. Oh, God. They take nine points of force damage, I believe. The beam, the disintegration beam blasted through the both of them. They both look extremely bloodied, but still stand,
Starting point is 01:42:14 as they will return fire back at you. Rwine and a 15. So as the heavy rifles, boom, boom, boom, rang out. They shocked by the disintegration beam, they can barely hold aim as they just miss their shots. And it's back to Zieg.
Starting point is 01:42:35 Oh, you're down. Oh, roll a death same thing. Oh, we're doing the thing. Oh, it's a nightmare. Chat. No spoilers. No spoilers, chat. I don't know. I can't see it either. Okay. Back online.
Starting point is 01:42:54 It's okay, guys. He's still clinching. He can't be dead yet. Some of my polygons are stretching into an infinity point. I use my last focus point to Floreo blows and make three attacks against Xerxes. Okay. Sex wrecks. That's gonna be 19 to hit. 19 hits. 18 to hit.
Starting point is 01:43:15 18 hits. 18 to hit. 18 hits. Nice. That's gonna be 15, 20, 23 points of damage over three attacks as I am just laying into this thing after watching it fucking drop Ziggy and I'm just like, I'm giving everything I got. You are raining down blows on its back as it has just pounced on Ziggy.
Starting point is 01:43:37 You can feel it It's haunches almost in the back crumbling under your blows. Can't get me! It is barely still standing as it goes to cope. I have my reaction. This time I'm using a different bugs for me. I'm gonna fucking punch you my mess. I am going to let out a thunder clap
Starting point is 01:43:59 as my body is charged with electricity, as I slam my club into the ground as it's electrified as it sends arcing electricity to both of them. both of them as I use my rhizo species feature. What is it called? Lightning Spirit is I use shocking grasp on both of them. Whoa. That's pretty fucking good.
Starting point is 01:44:22 I believe that's how it works. Come on. That's 22 to hit, the first one. Yeah. 22 to hit the other one. So on number five, two lightning damage. And on number two, Oh, number two is six lightning damage.
Starting point is 01:44:46 Five was in the worst condition. As you explode this lightning channeling your club and you crash it into the ground, like charging tigers, those streaks of lightning, race across the ground, jolting up the bodies of these before biting into them, and they both fall to the ground dead. fall to the ground dead.
Starting point is 01:45:09 Hell! Yeah, double kill. Let's fucking go. All right, just end this. Just fucking. And I use my movement to just run. Just fucking end this one. No, yeah, it's my movement to run towards Xerxes.
Starting point is 01:45:20 There you go. Okay, that's it. This is all right. Surrexies will turn towards Pike. Yeah, I'm ready this time. Two attacks. I'm this time. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:45:28 Well, he's going to miss one. Well, I'm definitely missing one. That's just rules as written, Ziggy. B, bu, but, but, but, I think it's, 17 to hit. That misses. That misses one. I got out of the way. I nimbly dodged it away.
Starting point is 01:45:40 Well, one was like a seven. The other was a 17. And they both miss. Um, I thought something, I thought something was falling in. I didn't realize there was a lot. Yeah, too. I have an 18 AC. Ah, that's nothing. The claws will come in, the quills will extend out.
Starting point is 01:45:56 As you move, you're in the zone now, seeing that it's dropped Ziggy. Everything's on the line. It's a little slow. As you, as you're trying to bring this thing down. Uh, Rhett, end this, end it. Just a little bit. this, end it, just end it. Give it everything you got, but save enough to just, you know,
Starting point is 01:46:13 breath the record. Seeing, seeing this cat, I would like to, I could just shoot it in the face. But I know that Zee went down, he's been down for a round or two. I don't know how he's doing, so I'm going to use all my movements
Starting point is 01:46:27 to get up here, and can I perceive how he's doing? And I believe that once you're within five feet, we can do like a medicine check, to see if like try to perceive the death save. I would say roll a medicine check at advantage as a battlefield medic.
Starting point is 01:46:45 Let's fucking go. Natural 20. Let's fucking go. 25. Let's fucking go. He is. We don't know. We don't know. Of three. Those spoilers, chat. I will, I'm literally gonna ignore this cat.
Starting point is 01:47:07 It's back as to me. It's focusing on Pike. I'm gonna lean down. and I'm going to, one of the sort of arms will come down and inject Ziggy in the side and administer a left blood cheek. A healing surge with cure wounds at the first level. Nice.
Starting point is 01:47:28 And so I'll roll that, but that's my turn. I'm not gonna get my bonus second. Go ahead and do that. Well, so he'll come up then, right? He will. So Ziggy, it's you. Oh, how much do I heal? No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:47:40 No, no, no, it is. It is. You heal. Yeah, we'll just do it. Oh, take your time. It's over here, sorry. Well, you'll heal more than one. You'll come up. Nice. Again, bro, what is this? 14.
Starting point is 01:47:52 14. 14. 14. I know, geez. And it's your turn. You're back to life. You're no longer ragdalling. Ice cream. Somehow you go from cubed meat back to meat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:08 I stop. I come to rest as a digital artifact in a 3D world, and I, will. Golly. That's just great. I lost that. Oh. I turn and I scroll up and I slap run. I'm
Starting point is 01:48:29 going to cast a Tether Protocol again on the cat. I'm going to Oh, shit. That's not enough. Twelve doesn't hit the cat. Does it? Is it a range attack? It is a range of attack. You disadvantage.
Starting point is 01:48:46 I have spell sniper. Does that remove that? Yeah. Spell sniper lets you melee it? Spell sniper, by casting in melee, but being within five feet of an enemy does not impose disadvantage on your attack. You can snipe other things.
Starting point is 01:49:02 Right, while. Oh, interesting. Very cool. So I don't think I hit it regardless. I got a 12 to hit the cat. Circus is as fuck. No, I think it's 17. 16 or 17?
Starting point is 01:49:14 14. Oh, 14. It's 14, but 12 misses. All right, all right. Let me read the spell. Let me read the spell here. It would have taken 2D12 lightning damage. However, it's still tethers.
Starting point is 01:49:29 So this green beam, as I scream, still emerges from the surface of my grid boy and connects us. Even though we're in this very short range, you can still see this lightning tether wriggling. But I see that it is sort of not immune, but resistant to this energy, and I start to make some modifications to my code. That's all I can do with my turn.
Starting point is 01:49:57 Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do with my turn. I'm out of focus points, but I believe I can still make two attacks, attack action, bonus action attack. That's correct. Oh, one's gonna miss, one will hit. Dude, 14-806. Yeah, one of them was fucking 10. 10, yeah.
Starting point is 01:50:16 Minimum damage. Six points, lodging. Six points, you rain it out, but Zerxes still. stands. I don't have any good descriptions left in me. I am just running as it's all attracted. I'm just running. Last one!
Starting point is 01:50:36 Yeah, Coke and end this. 14. 14. Oh, thank you. God. Just ended. Okay. Club is 13. Points of damage.
Starting point is 01:50:53 Finally. I want I want fucking go. Hey, pussycat! I want it to like scream. I'm screaming and trying to draw its attention, and I let out a roar.
Starting point is 01:51:07 As once again, my connection to the cosmic forces kind of manifests in this booming roar as I leap forward my club, surging with that thunderous energy, and I want it to be leaping to me. I'm leaping to it. And I manage to dodge its claw and just with one single crack.
Starting point is 01:51:28 shatter the gem in between its in its forehead and send it careening into its brain to then kill it and then land very fucking metal
Starting point is 01:51:42 on its corpse covered his blood it swings its head around to look at you hissing and howling as the club crashes down connecting with the gem rocketing it through its brain
Starting point is 01:51:56 as its corpse now falls to the ground and you fall atop it. Yeah, it was way cooler than anything I could have done. The last stand of the scarlet eye put to rest. Dershese falls on top of me, this heavy beast. Is everyone alive? Yep, here, hold on.
Starting point is 01:52:19 How's Bixel? Ray, look at Bixel. Let me take a look. Ziggy's fine. I'm not all right. I'm okay. I'll help you up. You look at Pixel.
Starting point is 01:52:29 She took a couple blaster hits in there. It doesn't look like anything life-threatening or too terribly damaging, and even the substance you had put in to suspend her form before. Seems as though it's been passively working to
Starting point is 01:52:47 restore the damage. She does not look like she's in peril, but she did not come out unscathed. Shit. Okay. I'll keep an eye honor, I will like just take some bandages and stuff and try to patch her up. If unconsciously she can choose to use, die, and you want me to actually expend the use, we can do that. But even if it's just like for flavor, I want to make sure that she's sort of treated her wounds or treated.
Starting point is 01:53:13 You treat her wounds as you go through. And then, even if that's the stabilized check, I would just want to make sure that she's not going to move out and die. No, it doesn't look. that bad. She just took a couple of hits. What you do for her to stabilize here, you feel like you've gotten her patched up in a good functional order that you may be able to continue. Co, you're closest, and you've actually just caved in the head of Xerxes. You see as you kind of pull your club back that actually was such a brutal blow of sunk. linking the skull in a little bit to the neck. You've actually hoaked the color,
Starting point is 01:54:03 and it comes off. Yeah. Look at this. It's like some gaudy piece of shit. Yeah, it's some gaujole. Look at this. Look at this. Look how fucking tacky this is. This red leather collar with this golden oh my god.
Starting point is 01:54:19 It's placard that shows Xerxes. And actually the golden name is cracked, and it's like bowed out a little bit, almost like it's hanging off. And you notice something. just behind it. You notice what looks like a
Starting point is 01:54:35 data chip. Even the fucking cat has a red belt. What the fuck? At least they're consistent. It's a data chip in the collar? Sligy, what the fuck is this? Like a tracking thing? I observe it.
Starting point is 01:54:53 If I can... I'm not going to plug into it, but I'm going to try to get a sense of what it is first. You get a sense relatively quickly with a quick scan of the Grid Boy. It's an access card. It is a remote access code that you believe would gain you access to the panic room.
Starting point is 01:55:12 This is how Zerkesh gets in and out. We can use this. We can access the DOM with this. Can we just say that canonically data chips and stuff like that, they're basically like little mini NES or S-NES cartridges. Oh, fuck. Or like DS cartridges.
Starting point is 01:55:26 Yeah, absolutely. Perfect. Like a little DS cartridge? Depending on size, right? Depending on size, right, right, right, right. This is, but, you know, behind the gaoler. Yeah, ranges. I was hoping for a zip drive, Richie.
Starting point is 01:55:35 I kind of like the, the disc that's in the cartridge, kind of like, you know, PSP style, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also very clever. Any disc drive, the visible, like, little, yeah, laser disk. I will convey that information to the team, and as I do, I reach into my back. I need protein, and I'm going to take another hit of Goodberry. You do so. Having this sensation that finally you have put the scarlet eye to rest,
Starting point is 01:56:09 except for one last person, there's one final door that stands between you. Let me do it. Here. Casey rigged it to fucking go off or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can try to give it a scan. We don't know who's behind that.
Starting point is 01:56:28 It could be both of them. And we may fucking die here. We have to fucking try. You move towards the door at the other end. Stand back. Waiting for the access card to call it open. Anyone who's standing behind Coe, though she's in a catatonic state,
Starting point is 01:56:52 you'll see a visible wince to Pixel as your approach. The sense, now that the rage of battle has quieted a bit, that you have this moment as you walk up before this, final entrapment, there is, there is now a visible effect of hesitation. As you move forward, you hold that key card up. Are you okay? Stay with us. You hold that key card up and the doors. Stay with me, Bix. Stay with me. You open the door to the panic room and grand study of Don Nito Contralto, prepared to finally face the head of the Scarlet Eye Syndicate. Cold wind blasts you as you step inside the darkened room. Shadows dance across the floor and elongate unnaturally as a bone-white
Starting point is 01:57:55 moonlight pours in from the open window, cast by the flapping curtain that violently snaps back and forth on the frigid wind. Despite the temperature of the area being temperate, when you entered the atmosphere, flakes of snow now swirl through the ruin and settle on every surface. But as you look closer and inhale the scent of the space, you realize that the snow is mixed with frozen ash. Beyond the ghostly moonlight, you only see one faint hue. The bulging and pulsing veins of Nido-Controtho hum with a dull purplish-red glow. His skin is gray and sunken, and he looks nearly skeletal, although he he looks nearly corpse-like.
Starting point is 01:58:44 He breathes slowly with weak, ragged breaths and stares at you with dark eyes that look like dirty chips of ice. He looks impossibly weak and frail, but still manages to open his mouth to speak. What is this? Congratulations. You made it to me.
Starting point is 01:59:12 But my business associate, well, he made it to me first. Take solace. The scarlet eye dies with me. None of my lieutenants have my vision or strength. They will fight among themselves until the survivor is absorbed. By Connaboe. What the...
Starting point is 01:59:43 My life's work reduced to a glorified crew. Does that satisfy you? Does that get you your bounty? As long as you're dead, it doesn't make any fucking difference to us. What were you saying, Red? What the fuck happened to you? The Viceroy. The Viceroy happened.
Starting point is 02:00:10 And as for me and my death, making no difference, well, I don't think that's true. Because Red Line, Rubedo, Entropy itself, that's true. That work continues. My plans were restrained, focused on profit, but in his hands alone, you do not know what's coming. The night that will fall, Earl, that consumed by Cacophony. Then a sector, he intends to turn me something akin to what you faced in the basement
Starting point is 02:01:01 of Omicron are all so fond of corruption, no matter their tenant. You may wanna annihilate me now. If you want to keep your harmony, not devoured, do what you've come here to do. I won't try to stop you. Don't you fucking die on me. He can't, help him.
Starting point is 02:01:35 I wanna go up to him and try to spare the dying. on him and keep him alive as long as I can. I'll rate forward. And if I can try to, even if I feel like there's no way that I can kind of keep him alive, I want to at least take this moment to try to understand
Starting point is 02:01:51 what the discordant does to people and how this process works so I can start to piece it out. You attempt to spare the dime. That piercing syringe injects into a vein. It pierces once, twice three times, almost as if trying to find a vein, but that sinewy, sallowy skin moves about.
Starting point is 02:02:17 It's so hard to find a place to punch in, to actually administer anything of help. And if the physical form of his body could laugh at your attempts at would, as you attempt to spare the dying in any anything you feel you could possibly do now in his current state you know will not help. You can feel, you can sense whatever the viceroy did to him, whatever it looked like. His harmony, his soul essence has been completely severed from the harmony. When he dies, he will not return. He will corrupt. He will become silent.
Starting point is 02:03:04 He will become something far worse. Hey, Rhett. Yeah. Whatever you're gonna do, do it quick. You heard the man. He's gonna turn into a fucking demon. He doesn't have long. Nope.
Starting point is 02:03:20 This is what you fucking deserve. Do you understand? The empire that you built is an empire of fucking ash. And as you die, there is nothing for you. you better fucking hope that it's oblivion. Because if it's not, it's gonna be way worse. So I hope that there is a shred of fear in that rotten wither fucking heart
Starting point is 02:03:49 if there is still one in your rib cage, you piece of shit. I'll look back at the glass tanks or the tanks on my back and I'll see that the ether is very nearly drained. I still have a little left in the tank. Step back. The GBG is not,
Starting point is 02:04:14 we're going to have to figure out something to tell them. After all this, man, we just can't catch a break. I will sort of take a few steps back and I will point the cannon at him. I'm going to step back and I'm going to record what Brett is doing. I'm going to try to capture this saving event to try and produce evidence that we did everything that we could to save the viceroy. The dot in this moment.
Starting point is 02:04:48 Or I go go go go go ahead. Do it. Any final words? Be quick. It won't be me who dies in this room. And the bee will cut through him, disintegrating him as third. as thoroughly as I can. And the blast cuts through, cuts through the chair behind him,
Starting point is 02:05:19 and his form starts to, not tear, but almost like a hole that eats him from the center, turns to ash as it extends all around him as he turns simply to dust and is completely disintegrated. We fucking did it. Pixie's still with me? Are you okay, Pixie's gone?
Starting point is 02:05:46 The vice is gone. I'm gonna basically unstrap the harness and try to get her, presumably there's a nice couch somewhere in this study. Oh, it's a lavish. I'm gonna try to get her, place her gently down. You're with this fix? Right to the entry where there's a little love seat.
Starting point is 02:06:01 You can lay her down on this comfortable red cushioned couch. You put her down and you can see that that Raxc-Pain's face as you moved closer is starting to lessen and you feel almost as though the color is coming back to her skin. She seems to be improving. I'll look at Pike. She's coming back. The collar's coming back. That's that globulin, I know. Make sure the Viceroy's not around here. Yeah, I'll do a quick sweep.
Starting point is 02:06:34 And that's gotta be, if this is a study, there's gotta be, just like Jodo had on the dawn. I bet we can find where he is. I bet we can find who, what fucking vice where he's masquerading as for Gavalon. I try to like, see if he's got to He was just sitting at like a desk? Yeah, yeah. He was sitting kind of like behind this ornate desk, the feet of which carved in that same kind of like clawed,
Starting point is 02:06:58 bestial legs. I almost too casually just start looking through the drawers, trying to see if any are unlocked, seeing what I can find. I'm just kind of... As this is happening, I'm going to tap into the drone feet again and get a sense of if there's any movement out in the world and also to keep an eye on the cruiser. to see if there's any change, really, scouting the perimeter.
Starting point is 02:07:25 You do so. You tap into the drones as they look down and they begin to scan. You watch for any movement, any sign of life. You all begin to search. You start shuffling through papers. You're looking around any kind of sign, any kind of evidence. I'm helping Pike. I'm going through. I'm flipping through. There's journals or ledgers. Just like we did, it's almost like, okay, we're running it back. We're in investigation vigilante mode.
Starting point is 02:07:54 That's kind of where I'm at right now. Trying to find, we've taken down the dawn. And now the vice-rarchs. The vice-roy is next. There's only one more head of the snake. One more head of the hydra. You start to find items. You find several things.
Starting point is 02:08:11 It's so much to piece through right in the moment as you go through this study. but you start to find business dealings with the viceroy, relevant information, things that kind of start to point at the nature of what was going on here, the full scope of it yet to unfurl to you. And it's in this moment, Ziggy, as you're watching the cameras outside, specifically targeted at the cruiser, a strange thing happens. it
Starting point is 02:08:45 wars and kicks on as if the engine's just kicked in and it begins to come to life as you begin to investigate the grand study in the panic room you suddenly hear the roar of an engine and the glow of starship lights from the landing pad beyond the open window
Starting point is 02:09:09 a moment later you see the Don's place pleasure cruiser, uh, take into the air and shine its bright, golden light into the room. Suddenly, the speaker on Rett's arm crackles, and you hear a familiar voice call out to you. The vice-roy. As Rex Max radio is in. Yes! I knew it!
Starting point is 02:09:46 Did we get him? Oh! It can't be! It's in a soup! In a fucking soup! We saw it! No! Are you talking about that explosion?
Starting point is 02:10:05 Anatra lit up like a December wee neon sun. I mean, it was crazy. You'll never believe how I survived. How did you fucking survive? What the hell's happening? I'm so glad you asked. I knew you cared about me. I got this weird sense, so I dove into the hot tub right before Natura exploded.
Starting point is 02:10:25 Of course, I'd already started to take my clothes off. I assumed being her savior, we were going to have sexy time. Shoes off, pants around my ankles, serve it's easy work. While I do them straight into my reinforced hot tub, planning intended for vigor and sexy time, shielded me for most of the shrapnel while the silky water protected me from the flames.
Starting point is 02:10:47 That's why I have this fucking boot! The pieces of sharp rackage that pierced into me were miraculously defected by my trusting alcoholic on the go whiskey flask. That's TM everybody, okay? Pick it up. your local dealer, sometime soon, we're still working out the details. And as my poor starship plummeted into the deaths, the real loss of this moment,
Starting point is 02:11:10 I thought I would drown for sure, but the sinking wreckage seemed to awake a gigantic lake Octon. The tentacle beast sucked me out of the hot tub and swallowed me whole, just another great evening to wrecks Maxim. But it seems to have been allergic to my cologne and I was vomiting onto the shore. A little damp and covered an octon bile, but no worse for where. What are the chances? It looks like lady luck really is always on my side.
Starting point is 02:11:41 You're right, Pike. You are one lucky son of a bitch. So what's the take? I mean, do we get him? Is he dead or what? Is he captured? Are we cashing in? I grab Red's wrist and I pull it close and I say, listen, pal,
Starting point is 02:11:56 the Don might be gone, but you best be getting the fuck out of here. All right, you're free. You've been given a second lease on life. Oh, Pike, the hostility. I mean, what's the town? I mean, listen, this is like a six-way cut, right? I mean, but... The likelihood of all of that. It's not some fucking trick. What do you mean? I mean, that's exactly what happened. The Octon was a little surprising, I have to say.
Starting point is 02:12:23 That was the most surprising very clearly. Lake Octon. No, yeah, when the tilt blew, I mean, I knew in a moment that if I jumped in the sexy time vigorous love-making hot tub, that I would survive the blast. I mean, that was just, that was obvious. But getting sent straight into the lake and swallowed up by an octon
Starting point is 02:12:42 and then spit out, I mean, that took me off guard. I didn't see that one coming. You really are a piece of shit, you know that? You are the fucking scum of the earth, Rex Maxim. The scum of the galaxy. Well, I guess on that, If the Don is dead.
Starting point is 02:13:04 He is. And the scarlet eye is doomed to collapse, like you say? They are. I suppose I have fulfilled my end of the bargain. I think I'll take this extremely expensive luxury space cruiser's payment and recompense for my unjust imprisonment and all such damages. Time to find my own path, who knows. Maybe I'll finally become a real, real space cowboy.
Starting point is 02:13:28 Until next time. Stay boogie, everybody. With that, the radio crackles out as the gleaming luxury cruiser blasts off on its mega thrusters. A gleaming orange vapor trail follows behind the new ride of Rex Maxim as he rockets to the stars. And that's where we'll end the session. No fucking way. Well done, nice. Hot damn.
Starting point is 02:13:53 Hot damn. I guess I got a saving for revenge to chill. Because I have some truly fortunate.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.