Legends of Avantris - Stardust Rhapsody: Overture | Ep. 2 | Laboratory Lullaby

Episode Date: May 31, 2024

The Rhapsody crew discovers dark secrets in an asteroid base....   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/BDCo7N_KmEY?si=SiRL1NF99ph3wkJD

Welcome to Legends of Adventress. The name's Rhett, and this is my buddy Hank. And you're listening to Stardust Rhapsody. Here's the rewind on what happened last time. Once their path was set, an unshakable truth revealed itself, that whatever they sought, whatever questions they pondered, they could find their answers in the stars. They simply had to ask.

Pike would definitely be up early most mornings. in his room, he would be practicing what appears to be some sort of Tai Chi, almost in a meditative state, working up a sweat and staying fit. So Kavir, like Pike, will be up early. His room is relatively bare, except for his clothing for the day and an hourglass that he wears by his home. LaBouche, if you were to look into his room before he awakens, all you would see is what looks like a deflated suit.

you'd see jelly-like substance and within this green and yellowish strange goo you would see clusters of cells and a pair of eyes looking out with a few button presses you'd hear as almost a vacuumed seals and a humanoid shape finally rigidly sets into place this is what most people think of when they think of LaBouche Chuck Wals I am, I'll get out of bed, fully dressed. I'll look in the mirror and shave.

And then I'll go to my closet and I'll open it and it's just a row of the exact same coat, and I'll look at it, hmm, what should I pick? Oh, this is nice. And I will put my coat over my coat and just nothing changes. Dandy is staring out the window. She is not, she doesn't sleep,

she's just constantly staring at the cosmos. My room is filled with plants and little piles of dirt, maybe little mushrooms popping up. Rhett would probably earlier in the morning, he hasn't really sleep a lot, you know, maybe gets four to five hours if he's lucky of sleep at night. So he's up probably earlier than anybody else. Frustrated by the lack of funds

the ship has. Hey, hey, buddy, how's breakfast coming? And then a little sort of like digital pug face will appear on the monitor and it'll go, and in text it'll say, we're out of bacon. Rett is calling a meeting in the lounge area. And you see pulled up on the screen, the photo of the bounty, you presume.

Bounty for Dr. Scream-Aise. He's one dead or alive, so I guess, you know, if we accidentally kill him, it's okay. Bounty's in for him stealing gear from the Empire, though, so... Just something about this doesn't feel quite right to me. You have a means to travel that is even faster than FTL. You have chuckles. We can always risk it. Well, here goes nothing.

Just remember, folks, if you hear you hear you hear hear any seductive whispers, it's probably an idiot clown, but not a sexy space siren. It's worse than that. It's more than that. I'm sorry, Rhapsody. I can't let you do that. Oh.

It's the Ironsides! You see laid out in front of you three on each side, all of your personal ships, the Echo, the Sparrow, the Ragnarok, Dandy's platform, the clown car and then and then the dreadnought. As we will enter into space flight dog ship combat, space dog fight combat,

what's gonna happen is, I don't know, I don't know, I'm gonna space dog ship. Rocking, drag, back, rocket, and their ship turns and begins to fly away. You have now full ability to move forward to your target without any additional interference from the Ironside Space Pirates. We dock. And do we feel like we can all land on...

Space. Out here, it's easy to feel lost and alone. But not today. Not for the crew of the Rhapsody. After several long months, work has finally come their way in the form of a bounty. Dr. Scree Mays, a genetic scientist accused of stealing critical research from the Empire. Killevaks, an old friend of the Rhapsody, directed them to his secret lair.

The team quickly flew off, dandy charting the course, chuckles, ripping open a forbidden pathway. Arriving on the doctor's doorstep, they felt their query close at hand, but he wouldn't be taken without contest. The Rhapsody engaged with the pirate gang of the Ironside crew. led by Bracken and quickly dispatch them in a technicolor dog fight. They now find themselves at the doorstep of the doctor, but should they? As they say, keep knocking on the doctor's door and sooner or later someone's going to answer, or should I say something?

You find yourself at the precipice of a stairway that leads down and into the asteroid. It leads into darkness should you choose to move within its bounds. Behind me, per usual? Yeah, you go on ahead. This is, I mean, weirder than I was even expected. I'll be right, it's behind you. How long did it take to bore out this asteroid? I feel like renting a space in an affordable neighborhood would have been a lot less than,

Well, whatever the answer, let's all try to steal. Move quietly, all right? I want to steal. All right. Activate cloaking. And you'll see me sort of shimmer a little bit. What? Just very slightly, I'm just a little harder to see. Everyone roll a stealth check. Oh, that's badass, dude. Oh, I'm a disadvantage. I squeamaged. I squeeze with you. up? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm good. Oh, not bad. I got a twist out. I got a 21. 21? I'll pull it twist out one. In order to do that, I have to do it. Dude, that is so sick. You changing it out. There we go. Didn't do me too well this time. Oh, it's a donkey. It's a space donkey. That's a donkey. That's a donkey. 19. 13.

12. Oh, thank goodness I'm a bard. That'll be a 15. 15. Remembering that my boots clank, you'll see a little bit of my ooze peeled down and created cushioning underneath my boots as I squish down. Does it leave a trail?

Or do you, are you, does not leave anything? It leaves as much of a trail as one of those sling hands does on the wall. You have gigantic, sticky moon shoes. So only if you look really close, you'd have to look really close. You have to see the residue. Just to see the residue.

You begin your descent, step by step. The cool staircase takes you lower, deeper into this meteor. You find yourself on a graded gangway as it leads forward. The hallway in front of you extends out a dark gray metal wraps around you. It's cooler in here than you would have expected. As you move forward, Laboosh, you see towards the end of this hallway a room that begins to open up very quickly as you walk out.

You can tell that there are a series, there's a table that runs in the center, certain standard scientist-looking equipment, and pods that line every section of the room. against the walls. Do the pods appear opaque with their contents? Roll an investigation check. Uh-oh.

Ponds are never a good fine. Can I help them on my check? Since I'm right behind him. What are you doing to help him? I guess just additionally looking. I'm not sure. I can lean down and be like, I'm here.

Do you recognize the nature of these pods? Yeah. Just sort of asking him to. Yeah, sure. You may roll at advantage for your investigation. With the help of Kavir also peering out and looking to see what he can see. An 11. With an 11, they do in fact look opaque.

You can tell that if you were to try and look inside, you would have to potentially move up to them and really peer in deeper. You can't quite get a sense for why they look opaque. You can't jump scare me. Can I sense life in them? Can I sense a form of life? Roll a nature check. Oh.

Sure not survival or animal. D20! Oh, that's what's right. She's on fire, but. She's on fire. These are avatar dice too. Are they avatars? They're elemental-style dice.

They're elemental-style dice. elemental style dice from some Kickstarter. God, that's awesome. I'm gonna adjust. It's in the opposite of dice jail. Yeah. The dice throw. The dice throw.

We do have a die throw. You, Danny, as you enter the room as well, you begin to look around, but you have an innate connection to the primal pulse of things. You immediately get a sense that, you want to a minute? No, no. The base is just very high. I'm liking it, but...

It is really... It's rattling my chest. I want to... It's rattling my chest. You're just close to the brownness. It's a subal for in here, so... Oh, what's wrong in my... I cranked it way down and it was still, like,

who's shaking the legs. You, as you reach out with your Arcon-like connection to the... to the life forces, you immediately get a sense that every single pod holds life. Rhett, there's life in here and these. Like, alive life or like formerly alive, live, live.

Like pulsing alive, alive, alive. And I say alive and like point to all the pods, however many there are. You point at 18. pods, nine that line each wall of the room that you're in. Well, I gotta be honest with you guys. As good as we are, I don't really like the odds at three to one. We need to be careful.

Does this look like in line with what Atherdorves would do? Good question. Were you talking about it? Rolla, what do you think? A history? Ether check. Ether check, roll a ether check. History.

History. History, ether check. With if you're not proficient, add your proficiency. Oh, proficiency. 23 here, gold. 23. With the 23, you would immediately recognize that physically, the equipment in here is not ether dwarf,

is not the equipment of the ether dwarves. dwarves, though you get the sense that it draws inspiration, but it is very far removed from what they would have been able to accomplish in a space like this. You would also know that thinking back on what the doctor is accused of, some of the scientific research that he was investigating would have been in line with the ether dwarves, but some of it, specifically the... Consult my notes. Specifically, specifically the species gene splicing

would not have any interest to ether forps. Genetic manipulation and behavioral reconstitution mapping would probably have been something that they would have been potentially investigating. Well, I'll tell you, It seems like they're trying to recreate some kind of Grom Corp tech, but

they protect their IP very well, so I'd imagine that they're doing what they can to reverse engineer it with this empire stuff. Do I notice, oh, this feels sort of empire-esque based on the job posting?

With that role, you would definitely feel that you're potentially looking at some of the equipment. He's accused of stealing from the empire, and it would feel much like that. Very advanced, but with a clear distinction between

etherdwarf technology being even more so. I mean, even all this has a genetic firewall, so, you know, it's probably not too unlike what they're going for here,

but this gene splicein, multiple species, I'm scared to look inside even one of the, these things. Well, maybe there's the chance that they're just breeding cute animals to sell to luxury collectors who won a menagerie? Come on. Not with a bounty of 50K. Yeah. This has to be related to the missing people. Remember how many people will work on missing? I don't know if we ever knew, but uh, Zalabax. Kila Fax. Kila Fax. Sorry. I'll fix that. No, we go

way back. I know his name off the top of my head. Kill him for my wife. Who? Just said it was bounty hunters. Do I see any evidence of a firefight? Nice.

If I could will him defoe this. That was a fire fight! Wow. It was one man with six guns. Fellow older money. How do you do? Who's a firefight? Yeah, keeping your investigation check, you'd be able to glance around the room.

And this room is, you would notice that it's dirty. It's dusty. It's walked and it's used, but there's not been any kind of scuffle in here. No laser burns, no holes in the wall, nothing that looks like rapid, agile movement from here or there. Nothing of the like that would indicate a firefight. Pike would immediately look at one of these tubes and see if it has any sort of like a plug or a power source or a cord that might be like attached

to some power source that's drawing power into one of these pots. Roll investigation check. Uh-oh. Investigation, you said? Oh, jeez, Louise. Ten. Ten.

Oh, great. With a 10, I would say that you, do you choose to move up to him? move up to a pod to investigate? Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna get like, I'm not gonna go like, oh, like, on my face, I'm looking around it to see there's like a power source.

Yeah. You move up to one of the pods. And as you lean in to look for any cabling, you touch the glass and you briefly wipe away, maybe even unintentionally, wipe away a section of the frosting that's covering It's cold to the touch. It's cold to the touch, absolutely.

You would think not freezing, but it probably feels like 50 degrees. Very cool. Very cool. You glance behind it, and you can see large, look like just massive electrical plugs. Just a single one. Or a grouping, a collection of them that feed into the base of this pod. Unprompted, I begin to try to pull the plug on the thing. Come on, wreck. Check this out.

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, uh, Kavir. You made your living smuggling empire tech, right? Do you want to take a look to make sure that unplugging it doesn't release whatever than there? I'm sure we gotta turn these things off. We are not getting rewarded for the pot. Rollin athletics check.

That's true. Very low. I don't succeed. Athletics is a five. I'm still just pulling on the, It's very much like a spike fiddling with the rage virus, like trying to break it and not knowing what he's dealing with. I'm trying to unplug this thing like half-heartedly. You are pulling with all of your might. All of your strength is going into this, and it's very light, but you just can't.

I'm not very beefy. Regardless, I... Sorry, no, no, you were mid. Please. No, I don't know. You're going to lower. Yeah, that's fair. There is a simple mechanism to this.

You have not yet quite. grasped. LaBouche, come over here and help me, man. Come on. Why do we care about these pods? 18 on six? No, I'm not taking those odds. Let's just unplug them, come on.

You think we're going to have to fight what's inside? It could be puppies, you heard, chuckles. I don't want to take the chances. There's a little. Oh, can he have been a puppy, do you recognize anything from your smuggling of Empire Tech? Let me take it look. Raw on investigation check.

All right, uh, 13. With the 13, you have definitely seen tech of a similar sort from the Empire. Maybe nothing so specifically fitted towards science. But you would understand that their cabling system, and should you want to disconnect it, you know that it is a simple quarter counterclockwise turn of the cable that would dislatch it. Would I typically expect a security system? or response to doing that?

I think with, well, no, you would not. You would not think that there's any inherent security protocols in place for something like this. Well, I can tell you that you're simply just doing it wrong. It's easy to unplug, but what we have to consider is whatever's in here. If we unplug this, does it affect it? Does it affect us? Do we want to keep going for now? Because you raise a good point.

I don't want to encounter whatever's in here. We don't know what's in here. That's right. What if they're giant lobster monsters that are also lobster mobster monsters? And they keep them chilled so they get very sluggish. And as soon as they heat up, they're going to break out and we have to, we don't have enough butter for 18 giant lobster, mobster monsters. All right, fine.

Let's take a look around. And if it turns out that that's the best thing, let's do it. After taking a drag on my freshly lit cigarette, fine. We'll go find the mark. But if these things come back from behind us, don't say I didn't warn y'all. We'll know if we start to hear the Genova theme play. We do not want to hear that.

No. As you say this. Oh, fuck. Pike, as you lean back up releasing the power keyboard, you glance just to the side, the curiosity getting the best of you, and where you had mildly wiped away the frost, you glance in ever so quickly,

and you catch the sight of what looks like a young human child. The cigarette falls for my lips. Oh, my. Oh, no. DeVir, I think you were on to something. Look. Can I see the child?

Yeah, I've pointed out to everybody. I'm just going to run towards the child. You're going to run really kindly. As you all look in, you see a young child that looks like maybe 16. Couldn't be more than that. Very slight. Longish blonde hair almost to their torso. Slumped forward, just my.

mildly. You see cabling, pulling behind them, moving back into the pod. It's probably the shock, the initial shock of all this other stuff, their connection into the pod, what he might look like. You almost don't even notice it at first, but you'd see that where his left arm would normally be has been replaced by what looks like a large black claw with sinew that scrambles between itself. Their right arm is bulbous and oversized, but still looks human in nature, and they're very slight. This bastard is experimenting on children.

Chakos, you're right. Human puppies. What? Children, not human puppies, children. Oh yeah. That's what they're called. We need to work on your phonics. I mean, might also be too late. Red, I mean, you have any idea of any of this is reversible?

I mean, uh... I mean, once you mix with the genetic code, there's no going back. I guess you could try to unmix it, but that's harder to do. The opposite of a standing mixer. What is that? What is that? How do we find that? What is the standing mixer? A standing mixer.

You know how you want to make a giant vat of dough and cookie specifically, and walnut brownie, and cake? Oh, man, I'm hungry now. My stomach will actually move and ripple and through my clothes, and it'll growl very loudly. I think that's exactly what Red is saying,

is that you can't unbake a cake. That's a great fucking way to put it. That was really cool, Pike. I know. I'm not that. I just leave with that. I'm gonna talk to the kid. I'm gonna be like, hello, what is your name?

I am called Dandy. I think the child is asleep. Oh, the child is asleep? That's fine. As you maybe tap on the glass and say what you say and speak out, Uh, the, the child will roust. No, no.

I'm called dandy, and these are all of my friends. We're here to help you. You are? How long have I been here? I do not know. I am sorry, I do not know. This, this wasn't, this wasn't where we were before. I, I don't know the last time.

I was out of here. Where? You don't know where we are? We are on a rock in space. What is your name? What are you called? My friends call me Jackson. The Jackson.

Just Jackson. Jackson. Meet my friends. Oh. Well, you all look very strong. You say you're here to save me? Hell, I wouldn't go that far. Do you have any idea how long you've been in there?

I don't remember when he first closed the pot on us, but I don't remember it ever being opened. All right, we'll get you the fuck out. Apologies for my language. Does that mean you are in one of these? You remember going and I point to the pod? He's in the pod. He's in the pod.

He's in the pod. Yeah. Got it. Do you know if you have friends in the other pods? Other pods? It's just me here. Oh, interesting. I'm gonna try to help Pike yank the cord out.

Kavir so graciously did not tell us how to . You get that knowledge. So we're both just pulling on. We're both the strength trying to pull on it. Yeah, come on, Rhett. Let's get him out of there. Come on. You're behind it, you're trying. Well, that ain't gone.

I can't get it lose. All right, all right, all right. Let's get him out and then figure it out from there. And so I'll walk to the coupling and just you should just twist it to the left. I'm like, unlatch it. Quarter turn to counterflash it. We both go. Come on.

You couldn't just tell us that's what we needed to do. I thought what I said I was going to open it and let go. That's gonna bruise. Oh, my back. As the cable disconnects from the pod. You see the front of the pod disengage rise up and crest back over it. The boy you've been speaking with now just simply wearing black shorts, leans forward, and the cabling still holding him into the pod for a moment as he takes his first labored step.

You can see that his legs are so slight. The musculature almost non-existent, almost like he's never moved. He takes his first step out and as the cables disengaged from his back. He takes his second step out as the rest of the cables disengage. Thank you. Thank you. What are you doing here? If not to help. We're here for money.

We're looking for a doctor. There's a pretty big bounty on his head. You said, the doctor, the doctor, he kept me in there. Take it easy. Take it easy. As you mentioned, the doctor, he'll lunge at you. What's your AIC? God damn it.

My Acese says here in 19. Good luck. Damn. I'm quick, baby. What the fuck? I'm quick. I'm a monk. I don't know what his pluses.

Probably not a lot. We'll say. he dashes at you. His clawed arm comes in for a strike. It looks unnaturally fast at first. Like he's moving before you'd ever be able to react to it. But almost before your mind does, your body kicks in. And as his claw slashes down at you,

you grab his wrist, stopping it in its moment. As you do that, the arm disconnects from his body. and almost disintegrates away into space as he falls into your arms. Whoa, whoa, kid, what, what's going on easy now, easy? I don't know, I'm just so angry. As he begins to dissolve into a puddle in front of you. I just dropped to my knees in front of him.

Oh, it's gonna be okay. No. No. It's gonna be okay, little Jackson. He begins to just liquefy. The only thing left of him, his hair, and the black shorts.

Oh, God. I've seen a lot of fucked up shit in my life. Cinegration rays. The soldiers torn apart by grab bombs. He never seen nothing. Something like that. Jackson. I'm gonna walk up to

how you can sort of help him up. Come on. Come on. Yeah. We got to find this doctor. What the hell was that? Oh, look. It's possible that

maybe letting him out, he wasn't ready yet. Oh. Yeah. The bake was, the cake was not cooked. Well said. Gosh, I'm loving all of the baking metaphor because that's kind of my thing, but I'm also regretful because I'm horrified.

Okay, we can't open any more parts. I'm sorry, Danny. Maybe we should try and find the doctor and stop standing around. That is what I have been saying. Well, he hasn't found us yet. If I can get 10 minutes, I can scan this thing and try to learn something else about it.

The arm or the pool? None of that, the pod. Do you hear that? What? What the fuck is that? It stopped. Do we have any indication of where this noise is coming from? I look around for the source of the sound.

And I look around for the source of the... Yeah, you... The helmet spins around you. The helmet spins around you. Roll an investigation check. I'm so glad I'm doing all of these int-based checks right now. I'll feel, that's not a 61, that's a 19. Oh, 19.

All right hot over there. Holy-ish. They finally warmed up. They had to get a little juicy first. With a 19, you very easily recognize that this tapping is coming from the next pod over. Oh, gesture. This is from the next pod over.

I suggest we leave it plugged in. Plugged in. Yeah. Yeah. They cannot open it. No more unplugging. I made a mistake. And try not to rouse the younging.

Okay. Y'all maybe just investigate and take a look inside as carefully as you can while I scan this pod. I suspect whatever is in there. I understand. Is already roused. I mean, don't rile him up. Don't mention the fucking doctor. I'll be here.

And I would like to. to take 10, or actually 11 minutes, and my eye will sort of glow with this sort of green light, and you'll see sort of this like scanning matrix appear as I'm sort of just trying to scan as much as I can about it and cast identify on it. What's the purposes of identify? I mean, like, how does that work?

Basically, like, I touch an object, and if the item is magic or has some other, imbued property. I learn as properties and I know how to use it, whether it requires attunement, to use how many charges it has. If any, you learn whether any spells are affecting the item and what they are. If an item was created with the spell, you learn which spell created it. So if it's entirely, like, non-magical in this way,

I probably wouldn't learn anything, but I'm just trying to learn anything I can about. Do you roll anything? Or you just cast it? No, I just, yeah, as long as I cast it for 11 minutes. We'll do this. We'll resolve this first. You cast identify, your eye, sparkles, glows, crackles with, just sort of glows and hums.

Glows and hums with an ether purple energy. Maybe it's like spinning. As it attempts to find what's going on with this pod, not only do you get a sense here what the purpose of this is, but it's routed into the main frame, the main network. And from that, you begin to get the sense of a schematic of this location. You know that the room you're in connects 18 pods. You know that just beyond it, there are three, four additional rooms.

The first looks like it connects large chambers. Probably, it's hard to count, it's hard to say, but maybe 10 deep down the room. The second, that room is dark to you. There doesn't seem to be anything in there that your eye can pick up. And the third, that would be the first room and the second room on the right as you look. And the third has one similar tube

to the one in these rooms that is markedly just a little bit bigger, but a similar power structure fills it. So are you saying that he essentially identified like a network? Correct. Of all of these things. Almost like a schematic of the location and the network. And the power routing runs from this.

All of them, you can tell it runs to the room just beyond this if you were to walk forward. So if I'm able to kind of find a way to get into the network, then even beyond scanning, I would have one of the arms would kind of extend from my pack. and R2D2 cigarette lighter style. They would like plug into the network and I would like hack and try to get into the network and download that schematic into my brain

while they have 11th and minutes. That's what you do over those 11 minutes. You're downloading the schematics of the location. Perfect. I will gesture for Dandy to join me knowing her connection to life being what it is. and approach the frosted surface of the second pod from which we heard the tapping,

and my hand will widen and almost like windshield wipe with the entire thing down. You just remove the frost almost entirely. You see a young boy with long, blonde hair that runs to about the length of his torso. Oh, no. Where his right-on, arm would be. You see what looks to be almost a large sickle connected to his side.

Just a totally massive blade that's replaced the right side of his arm. The left arm is small. Smaller than it should be for a child his age. And he's very, very light musculature. and extremely grotesquely, you can see that whatever took place in his formation, his intestines have formed on the outside of his body. I don't see that. Me neither. Yeah, me neither. What that?

What do I suspect? He is tapping on the glass. He's awake tapping on the glass? You don't know if it was Rhett and Pike falling backwards when they disconnected the tube. Comededly. You don't know if... That went dark for him.

You don't know if Jackson, in his rage, shouting at Pike against the doctor, if that had awoken this child, but he is tapping against the glass. With his bladed or with his hand? With the bladed. Tapping with the bladed section. Hello there.

Who are you? I am LeBusch. What is your name? My friends call me Jackson. Are you here to save me? Yes. We are here to save you. Oh.

Where am I now? This doesn't look like the place I was before. Where were you before? It was a brighter room. And windows. There were other people, I think. I might have dreamed it, but I think there were other

doctors, maybe, I don't know what they were doing, I think they were maybe trying to help, I want to believe so. I just, everything hurts. Are you thick, little boy? Is that why there were doctors around you? Maybe. That must have been it. I must have been sick.

You think they're trying to save me. It's just been... It's been so long since the pod's been opened. Well, our friend Dandy here, she doesn't have a medical degree, because those are all damned anyway. But she is really good at healing, probably better than any dumb old doctor with an education. Get out of here.

Yeah. They haven't done too much for me yet. I'm still in here. Is it possible? Well, thinking about this. Jackson, I'm called Dandy. Is there a way that we could help you? Can you think of anything we can do to help you?

Dandy? That's a nice name. I'd love to be let out. If you could, just detach me. I don't remember what the ground feels like. I want you to feel the ground or whatever makes you feel at peace and happy and not scared or in pain, but I'm scared to let you out just in case that causes more pain. Why? Why would it? Why are you scared to let me out?

There is danger out here. We must take care of first. Oh. Think of what you saw in the windows. Not of the people around you. Just try to sleep. Roll a persuasion check at advantage. No way. Two.

Double natural one. Oh, God. Fucking way. His tapping on the glass accelerates. Please, please. Why won't you let me out? I'm not worried about the danger. I just want to be released.

The glass starts to crack. No. Fuck. I'm going to step in and be like, Jackson, Jackson, we're going to get you out of here, I promise. But we need to make sure that nothing is going to happen to you.

We have to protect you. And for that, I can't let you out yet, but we will. We promise. We will. Roll a persuasion check. That's actually not terrible. That's good. That's solid. Looking good.

Plus five and six, 16, right? Yeah, 16. It's tapping slows to a stop. And then I kind of whisper to, I guess you guys are the closest to me. I really want to help Jackson and help heal, but I'm scared to touch him. I'm scared that if I touch him, he might evaporate.

like the other Jackson. If he leaves the pod, I feel the same. We have no choice. We can't let him out right now. We have to find a doctor. Um, what's your favorite animal, little Jackson? What do you mean? Well, a little bird told me that it's actually your birthday today,

and that's why you've woken up in your pod. It is? Yeah. I don't remember my birthday. Oh, well, I read your charts. That's what they do in hospital. Yeah, I read your charts. And it's your birthday. So I want to know your favorite animal so I can make you the perfect gift for a special birthday boy. Wow. Does it say on the chart what my favorite animal is? I don't remember any animals. Oh, forget the chart. They're all scams anyway. Tell me what your heart says.

Jack, then. Screw the rules. Can you make a llama corn? Oh, did you say llama corn? That is my favorite animal, too. How did you know? Oh, wow. I'm not even kidding right now. The coincidence

is unbelievable. I don't know. It's just the first thing that came in my mind. Oh, I can do you one better. Hold on in effect. And I will take off my hat, reach in, and pull out

a bright, like, rainbow-colored balloon, and it'll blow up and then suddenly pop into confetti, and then it'll turn into a scene of a llama corns a cat's minor illusion. And basically, it's like, non-cat, like... And it'll just look like a really cute llama-corn kind of with a rainbow trail, little wings, a horn, very fluffy, and then like kind of going through like fucking Lisa Frank

outer space you know, full-blown 90s and I do that in front of the pod to the best of my ability. You create a wholesome moment is that really, what the fuck is happening on? Perfect representation of a llama corn and it flies around, it dances effortlessly.

Jackson, if he could clap his hands, if he wasn't strapped in and if he had two hands, he would. He Happy birthday to me Yeah, happy birthday Jackson If you're best birthday

You're at the best age And as this Gives on for probably just about 30 more seconds He'll have exhausted the strength That he has And he'll just lean forward And fall back to sleep

Thanks, Kallam You're welcome Happy birthday All right We gotta find this guy. All right. I've downloaded a schematic of the compound. Nice.

And that's not a fucking exaggeration. This thing is a compound. Not just a lab. There's at least, what, three other rooms. Who knows how many more are these things? In the contract said dead are alive. So don't hold back. Unless it means helping these children.

Fair. Where to it? Did that mean that like, if we take him alive, we can torture him until he saved the kid? I want to say no to that. That's not a lot of idea. I volunteered to violate many faith in Geneva Convention. I will commit horrible war crimes if we can force the doctor

to save the kid. I will help. So what do I? based on the room we're in, how do I think of the next steps going forward? Is it just one room after the other sort of deal? You are able to, you can see through your eye,

kind of the room becomes overlayed. You can see the room in front of you with your standard eye. Over top of it, you can see like a web weave extending out. There's a closed door at the end of the room that you're in. You know that once it whooshes open, you'll have an option in that next room.

That's just a minor causeway. In the next room, there are two rooms on your right. There is one on your left. The one on your left is a similar sized pod, just a little bit bigger, a single one. That's all that's in that room. A one pod. One pod.

The two rooms on your right, the first, as you exit the room you're in, holds about 10 large containers, like enormous, enormously powered. And the further one, the second room on your right, is dark to you. Looks like an empty room. Well, it looks like to the left,

there's one pod. To the right, there's huge storage containers of something. And then the last room seems to be empty. Well, Also, I'm imagining that Rett has just gotten the dungeon map in legends. Yeah. And in the pond, there's the mini boss skull. So,

Well, Duffin, I mean, Libush and Kavir, you know, Krate. Isn't that your whole thing? You could check out the storage area. You can keep that joint quick. And what do we think? Maybe that last empty room is some kind of lab. Something to help these kids? It was dark on the schematic.

I don't know how up to date he keeps these things. It's all I could get. But I think regardless, avoiding the big pod or the single pod, it might be a special pod, so I'm more inclined to save the crates for now. You know that what you've downloaded isn't just like a schematic he draws out for the front.

You have tapped into the power routing, of this structure. Oh. And so everywhere that you can see is where the network of power that runs from these pods stretches out. So power runs to the- There's no power that runs to the room on the second right. There is, if I didn't mention it before, there is just, if you were to walk out of the room, you're in, you're in the

breezeway, whatever, like the foyer. If you were to go straight, there is, you get the sense that there is a very large room. Well, the dark room. room, it means there's no power. And given the nature of these pods, I don't like the fucking sound of that. I guess highly unlikely it'd be some kind of lab, then. Unless he's not using the main power lines.

But I think you're right. All right, crates. Crates? The crates it is. And I'll like wipe my helmet with my hand, almost like an unconscious gesture, having seen the second Jackson and, and witnessed all of these four horrific images,

but my face remains expression, as I start to sneak forward into the hallway, assuming that we're continuing to steal. Yes. Question, I'm the master. Jackson's a human. The real tech, Imperial Kade? Should we re-roll?

Stealth, or if we're stealing? You can keep them. You can keep that. Oh, thank God. I don't want to roll a natural one again. As you are leaving this room, the door begins to close behind you, and you hear the faint, rhythmic tapping of glass from around the room as the door closes behind you. Wait, Laura, hear it, from behind us or forward?

From behind you. Okay. From multiple areas of the room. I'm at the front. I don't hear my room. Yeah, I take a long drag on my seat, and I'm just like trying to block it out. I had my Raygun out. Okay.

Cranes. It's just so we're all on the same page. We can all probably deduce it. That's 18. It wasn't lobster, mobster, monster. It's Jackson's.

Waxon Jackson. That is whack, yo. 17. Oh. Oh, I'm sad. You're right, Kavir. 17 more Jackson. I do not want to hurt the Jackson's.

I do not want to hurt the Jackson's. They may be doomed. There may be nothing we can do to save them. That is why we are here to find this doctor. Fortunately, if they do get out, they may not even survive. Can we, is there looking around, now that we're on the other side of this door, is there anything to barricade or blizzard? lock it or lock it with any mechanism like a panel I would say if you so choose

probably Rhett with you downloading the schematic if you wanted to you would have access to certain door locks and you would be able to lock it behind you do we want to make sure that we can't be followed I can do that I can do that as long as we have some sort of quick escape. I vote yes. I should be able to lock and unlock and rail it to ease.

You believe that. All right. So I'll turn around and one of the arms will extend and hack into the system and lock. The door closes and seems to secure with a lock. We got to get out of here quick.

You let me to that lock, you understand? Yes. I'll get you there. Lickety quick, Rhett. Steal your mind against the honking when the time come. Why I gotta say stuff like that? I mean, what's wrong with how I said that? Anyways. Which way to the crate?

I'll point to the door to the right, right? Or one of the doors to the right. The first door to the right. The first door to the right. That's the one. I'll walk up to the door and look for some sort of opening, Or does it? It opens as you approach it.

You immediately see a well-lit room that extends far longer and deeper than the room you were just in. The crates you realize are not crates, but large cages that line every side of this wall with massive, glowing panels of glass. It's worse. This is very clearly a menagerie of sorts.

As you walk down, you look to your right, you look to your left, you see an aquatic tank filled with horribly grotesque space lobsters. As you look into it, the waters dark and the water's dark and murky. And you think to yourself for a brief moment, is that a light at the back there I saw? That was weird. A sworn disappears without another thought. You see orcupines, fish swim about, crocodiles, rhinos,

massive lion, all sorts of collections of animals. Birds, space gupsies, space guppies, hamsters, anything, any sort of creature. You reached the end of the room. Was there supposed to be something about animals? Nothing at all saw. I didn't know they were cages. Yeah, sorry, I just spaced. Looking at the animals, do any of them look not quite what we expect?

You would see as you walked down and be pretty easy to tell that a lot of of these animals look like they've had parts surgically removed. Lions with three legs, rhinos missing a horn, and other animals that look like they've been drained of blood, maybe essence, just look very tired, lying on the ground, exhaust, and expunged. Based on the knowledge that you've gained from the layout, do we know that we have to go through this room to continue

or this is a side room, we have to go back out to the main hallway and continue. This room is empty. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. This is the end of this room. There is no other door. It's one of the next room that you went to, it's door, door, door.

Okay, and then a big room at the end. It's terminal. You would just leave this room should you choose. Oh. I think this is where he's finding the parts to work into the Jacksons. Other than that, I don't think there's anything here for us. Jeans.

Jeans. Dan, do any of these animals or creatures look like the creatures from where you come from? From what you remember? I don't think so. Maybe we can have him do a really cool rampage and do a Jurassic Park 2 on the sky. I do not think so, maybe. And I'm going to, like, go out. Is it like a fence cage or is it glass, you said?

Glass. Okay. I'm going to just, like, sit next to a kind of like a deal with the Jacksons and kind of, like, trying to attract them to me. just to be nice and friendly and give up that energy. But also, I want to leave this room. Very sad and scared. You walk up to a cage that houses a space rhino

missing its horn. And as you sit down and you maybe put your hand against the glass, it hesitates for a moment. It pulls back at first, but then it looks at your warming smile. And it very slowly lumbered. over to you and sploots down right at the glass. I'm going to attempt to talk to the rhino and just say,

hello, what is your name? I'm called dandy. Are you using any kind of... Speak with animals? I don't have speak with animals right over. You're regretting that. Speak with plants. A recone.

Redcon, you have it now. Okay. I guess. I mean. What? Oh, I only feed it right there. This is a cons. Side effects from smoking all the time.

It doesn't understand what you're saying, but it looks at you and you get the sense that if it could smile, if it had any sort of happiness left within it, it would offer that to you. And then I just, I probably just start crying with a smile on my face, like sad smile. But like I'm just like tears. Just streaming down my eyes.

Mm-hmm. Just like dumbfounded. I'll swing up and just sort of put a hand on your back as you grieve. It's going to be okay. Well, it isn't, but these things happen. This is all part of it. Lubush.

Thank you. You are a good friend. Let's... I'm drawing the left again. Let's see if we can find the one who is responsible for this. I agree. I may not be able to speak with these animals, but if I can speak to the doctor,

I will go primal savagery on it. Oh, so you can go drafting point too on the other guy. I love it. I think the animals understand what you mean. Oh, tell him, I know you can speak to animals and other creatures than dinosaurs, which I guess those are animals. Tell him that when we find the doctor that did this to him, we're going to say, no way, mister,

you're going to stop this and also die and make it a lot of money. Tell him, don't think that. I just repeat everything. You translate this to Chuckles. I mean, what Chuckles has said to the rhino, and the rhino kind of like pops up, Fixes its sputin plants its arms on the ground and just goes, and nods at you know. Oh, with the, just the shaving of a quarter smile on his mouth.

Oh, do that work? I think the rhino wants us to kill the doctor just as much as we want to kill the doctor. Oh, tell them this one. This is the last one I promise. Why do rhino have such a bad credit score? And then I repeat it I know. I'll look at him. He kind of tilts his head as you look at him

like tilting and looking at you now. They're always charging. He tilts his head the other way and looks back at you, Danny. He's just killed him. I say what he says and like, but I don't understand it's all. They're not as strains

his head. Just snorts. Oh. They must not have credit bureaus on your planet. All right. That was brilliant. Let's get this doctor. I would like to go kill this doctor.

What do you think, Rick? Can you lead us where we got to go? I mean, I don't know where the fuck he is. I just know the layout of this compound. We have three rooms left. I guess go across the hall. Maybe he's in the pod? Why would he be in the pot?

I don't know. Doesn't make any sense. You're talking crazy. Yeah, I'm... Why just one part? Could be a Finnish product. Oh. Or a bigger color.

But the other room is completely dark. So... Like perfect Jackson? Maybe. Or worse? Oh! Worse! Oh, this is bad.

One room down. Let's knock out the others, all right? Right. It's just that way. I don't need to leave the way. So we go in straight across? Cross the way. Which is which room, sir?

Which is the room with the single pod. We got to go through the pod again. No, no, you know. Oh, we don't. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, like, the entrance. Yeah. It was pretty clearly just like a,

like an intersection that connected these other rooms. We just explore the menager. I'll press M. I might guess. Yeah. It's just crack the gilts are across the universe. You all carry your way out of this room.

When Rhett gestured, I would have been immediately, like, treating myself like the shield, just trying to be the front. You move with the heavy burden of what you know you now must do. You approach the doorway to this room. it opens up at your approach. You step across the hallway as the next door opens up. And you enter into a room with far more tubing and energy conduits that pour towards just a single pod frosted over.

Nothing else seems to be in the room. We don't see any panels, computers. Just energy conduits running the top, crackling. You can feel them buzzing with electrical energy, almost like you can reach up and shock yourself. At your feet, you walk along the ground, almost covered in tendrils, like a giant spider's web.

As it all reaches out, it all runs toward this one singular pod. And we don't hear a young voice. voice go, Akra, Akra. No! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Kada! No!

Dandy, do you feel anything in that pod? Yeah, I'm gonna walk up to it, like, immediately, and just kind of like do the thing that we've been doing, kind of like trying to see what's in there and then touch it, feel for life. It's like a giant silo kind of like, look at things. It's not massive. Okay. It's similar to the size of the pods you saw before, but it is much,

not much larger. It is no to notice. larger. They say, Jackson. And it's drawing far more power. Jackson? You wipe the frost off the glass.

And what you see is a young man with hair that runs to his torso, with what only can be described as a perfect physical form, almost faded blonde hair approaching silver and color. in coloration. He wears just simple black shorts. His musculature defined, lean, powerful.

And he stays there. Things cabling, connecting to his back, slumbering. And I look around to all my friends and be like, should we awake the Jackson or should we keep him sleeping?

Does he, Does he look like he could be related to Jackson or like an older version of Jackson anyway? Roller-upaciation check. Looks pretty good from where I'm. Yeah, that's all right. That's okay. I got 12. All right.

With a 12, you get the sense that this could be like an older brother. This is certainly not like a 16, 17-year-old kid. This is maybe like mid-late 20s, very similar. features, almost as the same hair. But noticeably, it was a little hard to tell as you looked at the other Jackson's, clearly different body forms, mutations, replacements, younger.

And this is, seems different. Do we think this is what the doctor was using to create them, the original? It's a good guess. It could be the source of the genome. I mean, but that feller doesn't look quite like all the sick kids in the last room. Right. Well, what if it really is perfect, Jack?

I didn't think I was right about that. I was right about the lobster. Then Jackson, I would have stopped suggesting really spooky stuff. No, nothing come true. This is the part that we were going to say, I wish I had a million dollars. That is a good idea, Chuckles. Oh, I hope we don't run. Big Titty Giffie Gough clown girl.

That would be so spooky. That would be terrible. You turn and you see another five. You're just a curious. We have a decision to make. Do we try to wake this person? I'm a bit hesitant if I'm being honest. They can't get out, can they?

I don't know. Well, the Jackson number two tapped on the glass and the glass began to crack and Jackson number two was little Jackson. This is maybe big Jackson, so I don't know. That Jackson had a blade for a hand.

This one seems perfect. As it almost just regular, normal, yeah. Prime. I'm not worried about this. the first Jackson's in the original pods. If they tried to cut out in the skye and attack us, they would probably dissolve. This is something different.

Yeah, I'm with Laboosh here. There's something off. It's not so much about what we can see, but looks can be deceiving. is this the doctor? Wasn't he like not human? I don't think there's any way

this is the doctor and this is a young man and for a scientist and a doctor to have the skill and know how to fucking pull off what he did not to mention know how it all works and do all this

it's unlikely. Well, we have two options. Three options. We can open this pod and hopefully perfect Jackson survived and he's actually really chilled And then he warmed up and then we ask him all sorts of questions and he will tell us the information we need to really take down this bad doc Or we just leave him sleeping and go kick in the door to the doctor's office and murder him or we keep him alive and torture him terribly until he tells him how to undo all that stuff.

I'm a bit hesitant to open any more of these pods before we have a chance to maybe extract some information from the doctor. I agree. I think it's best we leave him for now. Do you think, based on the information we had and I didn't record when you were looking for the bounties, does the description in that match at all what's in this pod?

No. No, he was like, he was a tall six foot four gray. Monter. Yeah, he's like, straight and he's six four and 140 pounds, so he is like, skeleton max. Oh, I thought he's at 190. No, 140, he's like, he's a towel. He's basically slender man.

Yeah, yeah. Got it. Rip, we only were supposed to bring the doctor back? I mean, I think if they, you know, if we can recover their tech, I think that was, let me just pull up the, you know, in my memory banks here. I'm just just loading it up.

He just give me one. That's a very science fantasy way to refer to your memory. Exactly right. That's basically what I'm going for. Because he's wanted for stealing tech. And we're wanted for stealing or research and tech. I remember you said the word the research, the research, the research. Yeah, it says we must also return any and all research in his possession in relation to humanoid cross-species gene splice and genetic manipulation and behavioral reconstruction mapping.

So, I mean, they're looking for this shit back. Right. Isn't it a little fancy and overdone compared to what the empire usually does? They're kind of like stuck on fax machines and feeding ROMs, you know? This is like at least an Xbox 360 for lack of a better word. Dude, does that ring true to me? Does this feel like far advanced beyond what I would know of the empire? You would definitely think that this feels like a little bit beyond what the empire would allow

in terms of research and development. And you might draw the conclusion that that's very possibly why he's escaped. I mean, it's probably why we just to get out of all the fucking bureaucracy so he can do this. I mean, I agree with you. I don't think the empire would ever allow anything like this. So, I mean,

going underground and getting the fuck away is probably how he can manage all this. This goes against probably every law in most civilizations to experiment like this. As far as I'm concerned, we get our mark

and we can let the authorities deal with this other stuff. We'll have done our part. We get our bounty and we get out of here. We know what the authorities do to places like this. This has markings of discordant stuff. And that's killer on sight. Burn it all.

The asteroid will just be vapor. Just crying. Look. Starrically. Chuckles, I want to help. But what are we going to do? Bring all these pods onto the Rhapsody? I don't think so.

You're right. I mean, we could probably smuggle a lot of them on there. Once everyone had calmed down, I was going to suggest we are looking for protein. Ew. What do you mean? The animals? There's a lot of, everyone eats animals. Yeah, yeah, that's fine.

I'm not suggesting the Jackson's. What do you? Yeah. Don't look at me like this. I mean, he's all protein from a certain point of view. It's very hyper-focused, but he's not wrong. However... Oh, that would be a feat.

We need to get the doctor to figure out what he's done, which will tell us what we can do for him and all of them. Agreed. This is bad. Dark science, cloning. Secret only the Sith knew. Have you ever heard of Dorf Plague's? It is a story that the empire will not tell you.

That's for sure, Kvina. All right. So we leave him for now. Yeah, I don't think we mess with that. Oh, hold on. If there's any Jackthon left in there, maybe if you wake up and he, that they'll calm him down.

And I'll holster my rig on and I'll reach in. And I will use my gift of creation, my barn ability to pull out a, a plush, a stuffed animal or a toy of a llama corn. And I will place it and just kind of stick it to the things. And when he wakes up the first thing he's used, they're really cute. It's a really cute llama. Lama corn.

Okay. The Jackson that I know would be really into that. So be it. You do this. You once again create this perfect representation of a llama corn, almost like a pinata format, a little fluffy. extremely adorable, and you leave it right at the opening of this pod. I almost said his name.

A little, a little peat offering. Chaco's that maybe the nicest thing I've seen you do. I would show we can't check out the second pod. It's frosted except for two circles. Stop. Stop. You do. If you listen closely, you hear it.

Onka. Onka. I'm kidding. You want to hear that? Come on. We should go out of here. Let's continue. And you continue on. You leave this room. The doors swing open.

Labouche once again at the head. You move just across the hall. This is the dark room, right? Into the final room. That has no power pumping into it. The glow from my cigarette is lightly illuminating my face. We don't necessarily know it's dark inside yet. We just know it's dark on the power grid.

Right. It does not have power pumping to it. That's all you know. There could be a generator. Right. Yeah. Or a separate grid. As the door kicks open, the light pours in.

The light from the hallway spills and reveals a very small, very simple space with just a single, neatly made bed with one pillow. Not the size of... It's a twin bed, just a little longer. Something you wouldn't think that someone who is six-four would be able to lie in, but it seems like that may have been the case. Very humble, very humble space.

And a desk with a collection of papers on it. I will just still lean up against the doorframe that is open where the light is spilling in. I won't step all the way in. And I'll notice what you mentioned, but paperwork's not really my thing. So I'm just going to kind of lean up against the stairwell or the doorframe, continue to smoke my cigarette and take it all in. You lean up against the doorframe, you take a long draw out of your cigarette,

thinking of everything that's come before this moment. And its orange glow briefly illuminates the room as you draw upon it, casting almost an eerie paw over it. Looking through the room. Is there anything outside of the bed and the desk with the papers that I noticed that stands out? It's very modest. It's all you would notice as you walk within.

Just a bed, simple bed, a desk with a single chair, all made of wood, and a stack of scattered papers, just a couple sheets. I'm going to walk by the desk, sort of just towards the bed area. And as I walk by, I look down at the papers. Can I make out what it looks like on the papers? You would see, it looks like Scrawl. It looks like writing.

It's a little hard to read, but you catch at the bottom, the signature, Dr. Scree maze. And at the top, notes page 15. Brett, this looks like it might have been his research journal or something. Do you want to take a look at it? Yeah, I'll take a look. If there's like a little chair,

I'll just sort of sit down with this gigantic pack, maybe just like on the edge of it, leave forward. And you sit down and the chair kind of like creaks under your weight. You can hear almost the wood screaming for relief as you pull up to the desk. You grab the papers in your hand and you shuffle them

and you start to flip through them. And I would roll a investigation check. While he's reading over them, I'll pick up. This is like a bunch of notes I can grab. I'll pick one up and I'll look around and I'll say, oh, I actually have a joke about paper. Never mind. It's terrible.

That's pretty good. Yeah, I will actually say that. That's weird. I honestly laugh. Yeah. You remind me for a vinci and show I got another rhino joke for you. Didn't say it in character. We didn't say it in character.

Just reminded me. That's a good one. I like the terrible. That's good and terrible. I'll put it back. I almost, I do a and I'll cast minor illusion to make it look like I completely strata it. You, in dramatic fashion, you ripped this paper and each edge

of it swirled dramatically as the winds take it away and you say under hushed tones, I would never go to your birthday party. That was a good reference. Holy shit. So I'll sit down and my right eye will go,

and then like one of my pneumatic arms will come within a magnifying glass will like extend from behind my back and go in front of my left eye as I'm sort of scanning through these documents as fast as I can happen. And what did you roll? At 18.

You rolled an 18? Sorry, no, no. A 9 plus 8 is 17, right? Yeah. Like to dread you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're amazed. Come on.

Oh, my. I'm gonna use a different dye. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. We're in the thick of that. Into the thick of that. We're literally in the Nibelheim React, makes it. Oh, no. Yep.

Natural one. It is... It is truly dreadful. Yeah. This is the lucky die. You were a brilliant engineer, but this is not engineering. This is medical research.

I don't know how to read. Oh, shit. You start. Flipping through these sheets and so much of this, you see plot graphs and charts, timelines, nonsense word after nonsense word, plural astomer, nonsense. What could that even possible?

Mitochondria. Mito, osmosis, h2-o, what is this? Moses Jones. Osmosin-d-d-d. Yes. You are able to come across A simple section or a couple of snippets in different sections of the pages that stand out to you that you can put together.

You find the words, phase one, sustained mutations, but at what cost? Phase two, successful crystallization of necessary factors moving on to human trials. phase three cannot sustain the mutations for long revisit prioritization protocol matrix phase four why did it work

what was different how to replicate I haven't been able to recreate it try as hard as I might but I must I'm running out of time I don't know what the fuck this is

most of it doesn't mean a thing to me, but I do know that he's had some kind of fucking success. What it sounds like is our friend Jackson and Jackson and Jackson, they were all human trials that were failing. I don't know why it's keeping him around, but it seems like the fellow that was complete, he was a success,

and he hasn't been able to replicate it. And he's trying to when he's running out of time. Running out of time for what? Because folks like us hunting him? Maybe who he works for? It's a good point. Who the fuck is he working for? There must be somebody who's relying on this research.

I guess you need a lot of funding to bore out a secret layer on an asteroid. Especially in this economy. Yeah. The space inflation rate. Gosh. Space. Yeah, forget about it. But the other question is, we've seen the rooms.

Where is he? I mean, there can't be many more places where he'd be hiding. There's just one more room. Unless he's not here, and he already left. We did have a pretty epic dog fight and explosion. You like rock, you disrupted the entire athroid field with that horrible cannon. That would be just our luck. Oh, you mean, so he got away when we blow up the asteroids?

Unless he's in the next room. Go ahead. Yeah, come on, he better be. After all this, come on. Either way, I'm inclined to leave this guy alive after all this. I'd like to get some answers. Yes. For us and for the Jackson.

But for now, this is research and we need it. I'm going to pick up the research papers. Kind of like gather them all together, fold them in half. Just sort of with like a flick on my wrist that's gone. And I love that. So I'm holding on to that. And then... With a brilliant flourish of your wrist,

the paper is just held briefly between two fingers. You just snatch up and they're gone. Shirley E will be back. Shirley E from high school? She's not here, Shirley. Shirley's the doctor. The doctor's name is Shirley, too? Shirley Dr. Screamaze.

We'll be back. Shirley E and Shirley Doctor Scream A's? Shirley Doctor's... Oh, the last name is Scream A's, and the first name is Shirley Doctor? Why don't we just wait here until they get back? Why would you name your child Shirley Doctor? Presum... I mean, it was a lucky guess this time.

I am so confused, Labusch. I know that there's a language barrier with oozoids. was on first room. We said there's another room still. Through this one? I thought we just had the... If you exit back into the foyer where you were, there's a fourth door directly across from the pod room

that you walked out, that you would be able to walk there. That's the final one. So all the rooms you've been to, as you exited the room you're in, all the rooms you've been to have been either on the right, doors to the right or doors to the left. There's one larger door in front of you with a golden skull. It's gotcha.

It's open. Animals. Darkness. I have a vague drawing here that I don't know if it's accurate. That's what I was going on. That is. Okay.

That's correct. There's one more room, right? Yeah. We deal with it. And Labush is right. He's not going to leave this experiment that went right all alone. It's too valuable.

If he was on to something, he'll come back. So let's clear this room and figure out what we do next, all right? Nice. Before we go in, we just like leaning up against the door

and just listen before we fucking open the door case he's in there I think LeBusch has the talents for looking on their doors I can perhaps squeeze my hand

through a gap Before we try that just use you through fucking 20 years of yours to fucking listen through the door that's all I'm asking Like the old days before things are fucking complicated

He's right If we need it We'll call All right. Pike, telleth, what are your elf ears here? No, just one of the talking assail, we're at. We'll see what I hear. I would follow Rett's request to go to this last door,

quietly steal up to it, and see if I can hear anything, and hope that it doesn't check. Okay, also, all the other doors so far have been like a proximity thing. walk up and automatically open. Yeah, that's why I'm gonna very gently like, like try to see if I can not trigger it, right? Knowing that that is something that we've witnessed.

It's like walking up to the front of a- Oh, was that one before? Yeah, that's fucking good. It's like walking up to the entrance of a grocery store without triggering the active. Right, right, yeah. Attempting to. Ha!

I got a 16. Oh, really? It's not terrible, I think. For stealth, yes, I got a 16. That's good. That's good enough. You walk up. to the door.

Quiet as the grave. You're pointed here, ready in your hand as you approach, reach out, ready to get close and listen in. And begin to hear muffled voice.

What you can pull out to be just sounds like a singular voice. You lean in just a little bit more to try and hear what it's saying if the door opens. I am turning to look to Rhett to be like one voice. I hear the door open and I go,

ah, damn it. I don't say a fucking word. So we're all just kind of frozen and like, I guess we look in to see what we say. You standing there, frozen, the door swung open, the proximity sensor door, swung open in front of you. You look out and you see a large, brown, graded room.

lining it more pods, but empty, all open, all expunged. The room, the ceiling reaches up far higher than anything else you've been in yet. All the ceilings. And at the very other end of the room, spiral staircases on either side lead up to, you can see that they twirl, they swirl, they swirl, they lead up to a elevated second floor room that has it. its own glass covering. And you can see from your seat his back to you, who you would assume is Dr. Mays, working at a console, feverishly.

And he doesn't seem to make any motion that he hurt us or that the door opened. Doesn't seem to yet notice you. I would then continue, I'd continue to then just put my finger to my lips looking at the rest of the gang and like come forward as we, I would try to like, point and just be like he's in there, you know, but silently, and then like,

I'll gel boot. The hairs on the back of my neck. I'm like, oh. I'm like, oh. Activate Clogan again. A whisper. And I'll just very slightly shimmer. We walk into the main room.

Yeah, I'm happy to re-roll. That's cute. I will follow Pike. Yeah, we'll try to move forward and stealthily. But I would say at this point we're all prepared for anything. At least Pike is. I don't want to speak for anybody else. You begin to move into the room.

You make it just shy of halfway in. As you start to be able to make out some of the words that he's saying, you hear the tapping. That's going to photo my notes. You hear the tapping on the keyboard as he feverishly seems to be typing something. And you hear him repeatedly saying, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Why did he work that time?

Why? How do I recreate it? There's no time left. They'll be here soon. Um, in this moment, I guess hearing what we're hearing and looking around at the rest of the party, I would just kind of stand up straight, have a relaxed stance and say, Dr. Mays, we've come for you. He spins around on a dime, panic on his face.

You're here early. You have to let me finish. You don't understand. that doesn't matter because you're worth a barrel of credits nice and it's at this point I'll have you roll for initiative

What? Davey cool to us before we can roll for initiative The doctor is in Hey everybody Chuckled here, it's time for an ad read This podcast is brought to you by our very own Patreon Become a patron today at

Patreon.com slash of Avengers and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and their weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high feed, shroud over Fultmarsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror home for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you so much. Off for your round. Oh, yeah, lo-low-low-low-low-low.

I did okay. Let's fucking go. God, Damn it. I never would have guessed. Nice. Thank you. Those are sexy.

I don't usually like to go for it, actually. Yeah, I agree. It's beauty. You don't want me touching your dice from, you know that'd be cool. You should be able to, especially as a bar, be able to give your trade initiative. I was just going to ask if you can.

How cool that way. That'd be really cool. 20 to 25. That was a on-the-shelf ability for Scrib for a while. We're gonna stick that in our back pocket. If you want it. 15 to 20. Oh, sorry.

Oh, 17. A 25 for me. 25 for me. Oh. Dandy, what did you get? Trying to. Oh. 25.

We're all going to be doing it. I kind of actually do like the idea of Trials going first. Oh, if this should be good. I got a 14. As long as red doesn't describe. race again. Keep that gun in your hands. No more dark stars. Let's sort of what I do.

Higher than a 14. Higher than a 14. Okay, then I'm after LaBouche. I'm 13. I don't like that. Don't like that. What do you do with that, Mace? Put that back. What that index card do? Get that. This thick

boy. Oh, no. Oh, no. The people at home can't see it that's for the best. I think. Thank. Who's after Pipe? I had a 14, so. I got a six. Oh, me. I got 13.

Oh, okay. Nice. It sounds about right. We don't see the dock. We don't see the dock. We don't see the dock. We don't see the dock. You're just gonna go, you're gonna go ham. I love ham. Me too.

I am heavy weapons, God. I eat sandwich. Ham sandwich. Please, you don't understand. I must continue my research. I'm saving lives. Can we respond? Sure.

You call that saving lives? And I'll sort of kick my head back, motioning to everything we just experienced. Space drops for a moment. I know what you have seen must seem very grim. But you have to understand that to advance scientifically. The Empire doesn't understand this. To advance scientifically, you have to...

Spend resources. If I can solve this, if I can crack the puzzle, I could save millions. People are not resources. Imagine creating someone who could always heal, who could come back from anything, who could regenerate at a moment's notice. You could have, you could have, you could grow organs. No one would die of harm or any, ever again. It's that before or after they turned to goo.

It's unfortunate side effect. I haven't figured out how to stabilize them yet, but with just a little more time, I could. I could solve it. I'll inform you that the bounty's dead or alive, so I'd fucking think real hard about your next actions. It saddens me to hear that you don't have the vision that I do. I was hoping you would listen, but if you will not,

then you will have to deal with my failures. And as he says this, you'll see towards the top of the staircases, the doors that enter the room that he's in snap close. You can hear the familiar cinching of locks as they close away, and he turns his lab coat swirling in the wind behind him as he spins and he moves back to his console, you hear him feverishly beginning to tap away. As the next sounds you hear,

are a low, guttural growl. As from above, oh, sorry, that's true. You said I wouldn't jump scare. You got me good. I was focused on... He was distracted. Yeah, he got me good, man.

He got me good. Landing at the end of the stairs, two massive creeds. You may flip them. You may flip them. One looks like what you would imagine, an enormous humanoid lion formed with a hideous anglerfish.

The other, a giant rhino. That little light we thought. Formed with a stag beetle. Oh my god. These, you would think, are maybe his first creations. His project Z. zeroes. The successes before moving to human trials, but at what cost? And now, you will find out. Chuckles. We're gonna have to fight bebop and rock steady now.

Yeah, I love that. What a great reference. I am going to, Jesus Christ, how far do I find this fucking guys. Oh, excuse me, a boosh. Wait, wait, both here. One, two, three, four, five, six. E, E, E, E. Am I even in range, dude? Yeah, what is this thing in the middle? Is this blocking?

That is an open grate in the floor. So we can run over. It's an open. You can certainly. It's like a giant hole in the ground. So it's not a grate at all. It's just a hole. Sorry, no, no, no, I'm sorry.

Yeah, it's not a grate. The floor is graded. Okay. But in that central section is like, what you would imagine is almost like a, a refuse dump. But it's a pit. We can't see the bottom from our...

You cannot squaw. Is it like a bane breaking Batman's back sort of like where they're up on the raised thing? I was born in the darkness. You simply adapted it. No, I assume Han Solo standing in the center going, I know. So I don't think I'm too far to do any of my spells. You can use the...

You would be... You are a little bit closer to that grid. You would have been closer to the center of... of the room should you choose to start a little closer. I would say you moved to Judge Shire up. I know. That'll determine what I do. You can move up just to the edge of that grid. Should you choose?

So we're all, so yeah. On the edge of that hole. Well, I don't want to be on the, well. Yeah, I gotta get around the damn hole. I don't want to hear. Jesus. Was that open when we came out? Oh my God.

Yeah. Okay. So we wouldn't have approached it like from behind. We'll all take point here. Yeah. We'll be like here. You get out of there. He's, he's, he's next to me.

Is this tag beetle right now? Yeah. I'll be on the other side of it. I don't. Just the worries and all that from me. Kvri, are you happy there? Is that everybody good? Dandy or here? Everybody happy? I'm good with it. Everybody happy? Okay.

How many? Is this five? Five. Yeah. I am going to, oh my God. And the doctor's up here. What are these on the sides again? He's all like 10 pounds. Just 75.

Just for like, just for, like. Just for fresh. Okay. Mm-hmm. Sure. They're a normeth bean. One, two. This is, I do. I actually do this now. Wait, one, two, three, four, five, six.

Can't honk and count. As I'm going to walk up here, and then I'm gonna use my bonus action to use my vestige as I transpose. And I'm gonna say, I don't know if a, of an anglerfish had the nodes, but smell my flower as I drop a hole on where I'm at. A hole will open up right here.

Looks like the Who Framed Roger Rabbit-style hole in the floor. Yeah, exactly. Nice. Yeah. And I am going to, I'll do that as I grab the flower on my lapel, and I'll yank it down and suddenly a massive spray of acid will shoot in a line as I cast caustic brew. Delicious. I need to figure out.

I think they both need to make dexterity saving. throws, at a third level, by the way. Dixerti's saving throw, DC16. The rhino will fail. The lion will pass. Okay. Acid will coat it, and basically every turn, it's going to take 64 acid damage. Six d4? Yeah.

That's crazy. That's so many of four. Does the lion take half? Or I don't think so. Just misses him? Yes. Yep. It's only, it basically does nothing. It does nothing.

Got it. So I'm going to... At the start of its turn. So basically acid shoots out. That's my turn. You blast acid out of your flower. The lion with a primal swiftness easily crouches down.

The poison sprays directly over it. The rhino is not agile in the slightest. It's large. It's lumbering. It's burly. The poison hits it full chest. as it awaits its effects. Dandy.

I'm still so sad but angry at the same time. Can you move me all the way towards that pod? Yeah, how far do you move? I move six squares, so just... One, two, three, four, five. Five's good? Yeah, so I'm right next to it. And I'm just gonna, like, look into it

and see if this is... The pods are open. They're open. The pods are open, nothing's in them. Oh, dang. Okay. Where should I go? Just kind of like over here.

One, two, three, five, six. Yeah. Perfect. I'm going to look at this mangled creature, and I know that it's some evil creation that's trying to attack us. And I'm going to cast guiding bolt edit. Nice.

And to, let's see. Can I do a twist? I guess you can. Yeah. OK, a little better. 16 to hit. On which one? This one.

This is. Rhino. Or no Stack Beetle. Right, yeah. The rhino stag beetle. The stag rhino. That will hit. Awesome.

So it's gonna do 4D6. Like a rhino stag beetle. Fem fiend. Oose. Well, that is gonna be 18 to image. And the next attack made on it has advantage because it's basically glittering with light all around it. It's gonna be like star dust light.

You fire out this coalescent. of almost this brilliant star form. As it shoots in, it blasts into the chest of this rhino, still sizzling from the acid as it illuminates it in this cosmic glow. Is that your turn? Labouche. Okay. I mumble something under my breath about it takes,

you have to break some eggs in order to make an omelet, I like roll my eyes at the argument, and then I stop forward. 5, 10, 15, 20, 30. Wait, 35. Yeah, that's correct. 40. I'll get up here. Because my movement speed is 40.

Wow. And. What are you all crazy movement speed? I'm 45. 5.10. You're a monk. Yeah. I can get that guy with 30 feet of range, right?

This guy? Yeah. No way. No. That's 7.5. This is 30. You can get that guy. You can get this guy.

Do you mind if I give him a go? I'll attack. Oh, please help. We don't mind it all. Please help. Oh, God, you're a lot bigger up close. And you see this, the enormous looming form of this grotesque lion that has this giant body, this mane that pulls back behind its head. its head. And what you think would be like this lion's fur turns to tendrils as it swirls behind it.

It's claws black and blue, sharp like a lion's but webbed in between. I'm racing forward. I'm running and I'm still running, but my hands turn into almost like tendrils, like appendages, and they get longer and longer. My gauntlets move up and become almost like biceps. And I reach forward and with two quick whips, I'll slash forward, attempting to hit him, hit the, whatever it's fucking made. I don't know what I'm saying. Ankleurfish. That's gonna be a,

19 to hit. That hits, that hits. It hits, that's terrific. I'm going to deal to him for, I'm gonna deal nine points of bludgeoning damage as I slap into him, but the first tendril grips him right around the arm and I attempt to pull him in. I'm gonna use my get over here feature.

He needs to make a strength saving throw. I love this. I love everything about this. What's that? 18? Okay, he resists, but I- I dread you. Yeah. I'll come in with the second attack,

and that's gonna be a 16 to hit. 16 hits and that is the A-Sing. There we go. Oh, and so I'll do an additional six points of damage and that will be the concord. Oh, I'll use my bonus, actually, the rage. Oh, Derek! Good plan.

We'll roll that back, we'll roll that back. Okay, then he'd take an additional four melee damage. Okay, well, we won't roll that back, fine. Wow. I forgot I'm playing a barbarian. Only because I'm flared. Barbarian and a sorcerer and a fire. Curse Barbarian.

I always get stuff all the time. First Monk. Test number one. The lion steps forward, completely ignoring chuckles. Whoa. Just kind of steps towards the center. He'll move, come towards me to the right a little bit. Yeah, a little more.

What's the speed? Right there. That's enough. Okay. He stops there. That's amazing. You see the light. The light that's coming from its head,

there's this grotesque antenna that rises from the crown of his head. And the light at the end of it begins to glow. And it basks the room in an eerie yellow light. And I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw. Is this against the charmed condition? It is against a charmed condition. I have advantage against the charm condition.

You may use it. Oh. Do I have something like that? With some please, please, wisdom. Oh, natural 20. Oh, dread. I'm twisting. I'm twisting.

What is the ability that we're using? Wisdom saving threat. That D-4. My highest was still a dirty 20. I'm gonna pull twist. Oh, yes, twist. You passed. Oh, thank God.

One twist. 11. I should be good. Good dread, good dread, good dread. I'm gonna use a twist as well. Your lowest is a dirty twilight. I had advantage. Can I have one more twist?

Just one more. pretty wise. It's not worth it on me, but you have more wisdom. Fucking! I'm gonna use this. 17. 17 passes? 20 passes. Hello. 11 fails.

11 fails? 18. 18 passes. 11 fails? 14. 16. 16 passes. Who failed? I did. Trouble, what did you get? I got a 17. Oh, I got it. You passed?

On your turns, you must spend your full movement to approach the line. The lion. The lion. I'm gonna do that anyway. What fool. Good luck. That's, is that the one? Oh, that's not the one that's coded.

The riotous. That is its turn. After I shield my eyes from the light, I take the cigarette of my mouth, I drop it on the ground and stamp it out, and I immediately use my full motion to charge the lion. You do one of these as the lion shines its light out.

Five, six, seven, eight. I have 45 movement. I'm only used 40. As I'm approaching this creature, my body will begin to give off a light iridescent magenta, pinkish, radiant light from my body as I channel my inner radiance. And I'm going to make two punches, spend a key point to then use flurry of blows to deliver two kicks. So I'm going to make four attacks against this creature. You, as the light goes out, it has no effect on you. You then take your sunglasses off and pop them in your pocket. You kind of bounce a little bit on your toes.

You toss your right arm out, your left as you lumber up. You then lean forward and with deft movement, you charge racing towards the lion. You fire out a flurry of blows, finding every point you can. And what did you roll? I haven't. I'm doing four attacks. Four attacks. You got it. First one is much higher than 16. The second one is lower than 16.

The second one is a 1930, which is way higher than 16. And the last one is also way higher. So three of those will hit. My question for Rich is the flurry of blows, it says on arm strikes. They're all just 1D6 plus 5. Plus your D4 for your radio. Yes, yes. But I just want to make sure that all my on-arm strikes are that.

Okay. So every attack is going to be 1D6 plus 1D4 plus 5. So I'm going to roll three of these. That's going to be 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 28, 29, 301, 32, 32, 33, 34. 35 for three attacks. I just unleash these radiant blows.

And you can actually see the light from my fists and my feet as I collide with this creature. You race up your jacket flowing kind of as you're moving so swiftly. He goes, he swipes at you, you dodge effortlessly under it. You don't even think about it. Your body just moves. You strike out, blow after blow, a right, a left to the body, a leg kick that comes in.

And every blow that lands, you can see the magenta, radiant light explode into the body of this creature. I'm just getting warmed up. That's my turn. You deal a fuck done a damage. Monks, baby. Yeah. As you finish landing your blows,

the lion lets out a ferocious, roar. I don't know how Hawaiian wars or I will do it. Yeah, thank you. It does that. It does. Yeah, obviously. Whoa, when did a bear get here? Oh, my God.

He's got all the other parts. It's just a bear lyrics. Oh, that's true. That's fair. You got me there, guy. Kvier. Good here. Good is to you. All right. So I have to use all my movements to get to him, right? Since I failed?

Yeah, just fuck him up. Yeah, exactly. That's the plan. Yeah. He moved me up. He fell right to arched. Does he still get his action? Or, does he still get his? action? Yeah, I just have to use all my...

Cavier. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, yes. He just has to use all of his movement to approach the lion as much as he can. Yeah. But he doesn't have to dash just his standard movement. Okay, cool. This lion is a fool. What a dumb. What a dumb fool. I'm gonna use sandblast, which is the flavoring for Eldridge Blast. Let's see, no, I need... You're approaching me? How can I beat the show?

Because I'm fifth level. There's still. Two beams. So the spell hit, right? Is that how it works? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Nat 20. Oh!

You guys are on fire! I cannot believe. Oh my God. Nat 20 and a dirty 20. Beautiful. Yeah. Well done. That'll do it. All right.

Has anyone looks down the pit? Do we know what's coming up? Nope. So we could look down and there's like a fucking army of Jackson's just like the mannequin soldiers from full metal box. It was just like we couldn't really see. Nobody really looked very hard, right? It wasn't obvious. Great.

Yes. All right, cool. Two, this is also the time. Yes. Yep. All right, perfect. So two D10, that's for each beam. Yeah, it should be.

Two D10 for each beam, yeah. Okay. So three and is that nine? That's a nine. That's nine. All right, so that's 12 for the first one. And then four and seven, eleven for the second one. Oh, wait, but I add eight to the total of it.

Uh. The spell attack is supposed to the total of it. plus eight? No, I think that's just your to hit. So the damage is just the 2D8s. Oh, unless I... Oh, plus five. One D10 plus five. Yes. So you would do whatever those four dice you rolled together total, plus ten. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So that was 11. What was the first one? Sorry. I think so 11 and 12. That sounds right. Yeah, 11 and 12 and then plus 10. So 22. And then as a... 23. Plus 10? Is 33? That's with the plus 10. Oh, no. Yeah. 32. Yes, 12 and 11.

Sorry, 12 and 11 is 23 plus 10, 33. Okay. And then the Sands of Time prox. So then I can choose to either move the creature or it takes 1 D6 piercing damage from the Sands. So we'll go with the extra damage here. Oh, yeah. Three extra damage, so 36 total damage.

Let's go. Didn't you just both use 36? You did. Yeah, I did like 35 over 3, he did 36 over 2. So what it looks like, so the Eldridge Blast, each beam, I guess, with the equivalent of the beam, is the sands flowing out of the hourglass. The first one shoots forward, and it's the shape of a falcon. And it just rams right into him. Bring it all the way back around.

Yeah, exactly. The second one, and this one's for Jackson, is the shape of a Lama corn. And it slams into the lion. the lion again, and then the sands themselves sort of swirl around afterwards, dealing more damage. We're smoking this guy like a brisket. You run up. Hang on. You run up. Low and slow. You run up and you, the hourglass almost turns to sand itself as the sands of time swirl about your hands. You run up with them at your sides and you cast out the first, a mighty falcon. You cast out the second.

and even mightier llama corn. As both fly together, one charges, the other flies majestically as they collide into the lion dealing mass damage. It is the rhino's turn. However, the lion reeling back

from these blows takes its head almost tilts back, blows from pike, the sand blasting and squirreling. around it from Kavir. It is almost out of sorts and then unremarkably fast. You can't almost even catch that it does this.

Its head snaps back and down and it stares directly as Pike. And you almost don't even see them coming as it claws you twice for a 24 and a 26 to him. Yeah, he smokes me like a blister. My ace is high, but it's not that high. I would attempt to realize that I can't get out of the way and almost brace myself for the hit as I am slashed twice.

And I'm dead. Which one's attacking me? One right next to you? No one next to me. I can't tell the difference between them from here. I got a little cocky. You take 25. You've got a little what?

I said I got a little cocky. As two of its contact cut into you. 25? 25 points of slashing damage. That's a lot. I may have spoken a little too soon. My humor is. Has it caught up with me, Mace.

Your fatal fall. The rhino now. We'll take acid damage. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this guy's gonna melt into nothing. 8, 10, 12, 13, 16 points of acid damage. Jeez. Yes, really.

Nice. Athen. What did you say? The rhino with its stag beetle horn. It doesn't have the traditional rhinoceros horn it comes out. It's like a dark blue. almost blackish, like a midnight horn,

protruding from its nose that ends in a cross section. It looks like if it were to ram into it would really fucking hurt. And you're about to find out, Kabir, as it puts its nose down and sweeps towards the back, and then it charges directly at you. I'm assuming that's Kavir, if it comes straight towards May. That's Pfeer's all the way over here. Oh, who's straight towards me?

Dandy fight. Dandy, you're about to find out what it feels like to get trampled by a Rhino. And I need you to roll a deck save. Tell him the one about the credit score! 19. 19, okay? That's a lot.

You take 14 points of damage and you're knocked prone. As it's glancing blow tosses you to the side as it charges past you. Wret, it is your turn. I'll sort of lumber up here with a pretty small range and I will take my large cannon

that the rest of my party members probably don't know too much about, but it is attached to my pack with a large sort of hose that goes into the back of it and you'll hear whirring and clanking as the sort of empty space in the back of this particle cannon, basically, pumps this sort of like this sort of ether that's being almost transmuted as it goes into the gun and starts to spin and turn into this almost like black hole-looking thing as space itself is being warped in the cannon itself.

As you cock the ether cannon, the engine wars to life, the lights in the room dim momentarily, as it almost feels like the light force is so strong that it's pulling in. Light itself can't escape. My essence is like, ugh, fuck. Come back. And I'm going to turn at the one that just charged Dandy, because I feel like Pike can handle himself over here. And I'm going to... Twice I will pull the trigger and this sort of concentrated purple swirling with blacks and dark blues.

These beams of force will shoot out and lob out from this cannon. And I will make two attacks. Those probably both men. What you're firing? 16 AC. Oh, yeah. I crushed both. Are you firing at the Rhino?

Yes, Rino. Oh, as long as they don't have different ACs. Rino gentlemen. The lowest is a 9 plus. This is an 18. Is it what? An 18. They both have.

They might have different A.C. They probably have different A.C. Knowing Mace, they almost certainly do. I guess I'm just going to stick right here at the old lion again. Yeah. That's what I know. That's right. That's got to talk to me out.

Lion-o. Snar, Schnarves, Snarves. There are any D-8s I can borrow. We're all my D-8s. Yeah. 8, 9, 10, 17 plus 12 is night. Is that? It's in 2-19.

29. 29 points of damage with my two shots. Yeah. And then with my bonus action, I'll say, sick him, Hank, and you'll see Hank, and he starts grounding. And he goes, he's going to run up between both of them,

and he'll look at the rhino, and he'll go, and sort of bite on his leg, and he'll make an attack. Crush, please don't get crushed, please get crushed. Let's see here, oh God. He's getting punted in. Oh, pretty good. 23. 23 will hit.

Wow. Okay, so he doesn't do much. Let him have it. He's got bloodlust. He's got a bloodlust. He's got stars in his eyes. That's right. Five points of damage.

And he's going to sort of, he has the leg of this creature in his mouth. And the creature needs to succeed on a DC-13 strength saving trail. We'll take an extra desected damage. Taking completely off guard 24. Yeah.

It just kicks him away. Damn. That's our turn. Nice. Chuckles. Back to you. Does it look like I can get to the doctor and, like, kill him?

You can try. You can certainly try. A wise man wants to set. Yeah, he's upstairs. Yeah, he's upstairs in a locked room. I'll look up at him and I'll say, oh, you're next buddy. And I'm going to look out at Pike

and say, you're looking a little rough, a sparrow for your troubles. And I'm going to make a little balloon animal sphero. I love that. And actually, I'll need to move closer. One, two. Oh, it's a little close. I will cast Spartic inspiration on you

as a bonus action. And then Should be. Yeah, yeah. At six, yeah. And then what I'm going to do is, oh, gosh, oh gosh, in larger dues. With the range on line, larger than. Oh, 30 feet.

Oh, yeah, no problem. I'm going to pull out a tire air pump as I'm going to pull it out of the thing. Oh, heads up. As I'm going to fling the snaking tube out of one end and sloop it into caboose. And then, I was like, and I'm going to, my eyes are going to kind of go cross-side, and I'm going to reach down and yank out

another hose and yeat it over to you and to sloop into your back of your neck. Like the fucking matrix, they're going to get weird. I really have an embellism and die. As I twin spell enlarge. Oh, shit. On both of you.

What the fuck does that do? What you think. You both become large. You become the size of these creatures. And your weapon attacks deal an extra 1D4 damage. Holy shit. Your advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws. Let's fucking go.

That's incredible. Holy shit. Chuckles is clutch. Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, sorry about that. I think, oh, you should say, don't forget to think, try picking on someone your own. Thigh!

And that's my turn. Oh, I need to roll wild magic. Oh, God. I'm sure it's fine. Yeah, I'm good, I'm good. Didn't trigger it. We're fine, we're fine. Until we're not.

Unbelievable. We're not. Can I steal an extra D4? Yes. Yeah. Let's look at this fine. I appreciate it. The lion lets loose another guttural roar

as it leans forward and swipes down. against Pike. Well, he's not swiping down anymore, baby. We're on, hi. No, he's swiping down. He knows what he wants to hit. I'm warm, motherfuckers. He's going below the bow. 22 to hit.

Yeah. I have nothing I can do to reduce that, unfortunately, so he got me. You'll take nine points of slashing damage. Do I need a temp HVUP for being in a baby? No. Just for like strength, grappling. And then the lion will

charge at Kavir. Yeah, I'm gonna get an attack of opportunity. You will at disadvantage. Done. Oh, that's a miss, so I miss. What is it? It was 15. 15 hits?

Then I'll roll again to make sure I don't miss. I just assumed the lower, no, that's much higher, so this 15 hits. Okay. What's going on here, folks? I don't remember you have Bartik inspiration. Yes, I do have Bartik inspiration. You use on damage, attack, or thieving throws. I'm probably using it on damage.

going to make one attack, which is going to be Radiant plus the enlarged damage, plus the D5. 5.5, 5. So that's going to be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.7. And I am going to cash in on the Bartikins's damage. 1d6. 1d6. So that's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 19, 11, 12, 13 points of damage. And the 1d4 from the enlarged.

I got it. Yeah, thank you. That's pretty good. As he runs away from me, I punch him. You catch him right in the... right in the kidney, the magenta, radiant light bursting off your fist as you catch an open blow as he moves away. And he will charge at Kavir with a 17 to hit. Oh, that's against my ace.

14. Yeah, that has a shield. I don't have shield. I was expecting to make a deck saving through. I was like, oh, I should be okay. That's all right. That's good. 17 points of slashing damage as his claws crushed down around you.

This is crazy. This is crazy. This is acid. Affid. Not food. What did you say? Is he now, like, directly next to me? Or, yes.

Yes, he's in Maylorage. He's looming over you. He's ready to chow down. Sorry, that is to dandy. I'm prone, right? Yep. That means I'm down and unconscious? No, it just means you have to spend half your movement to stand up.

Oh, let's go! I can... Or you can just crawl around on the floor like a sneaky snake. I am gonna try and evade, like I'm gonna move around the monster and start walking towards the doctor. Do I get an, like, an opportunity from this guy? Nope. No? You won't be able to get past them anymore. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, right, you were here? Yeah, no, no. No, she was playing to... So you have 15 to the right. You have 15 feet. one and a half, two and a half. That's as far as you can go. Dang.

Da-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-ang. Okay, well, anyways, I think it's still fine. I'm going to, I'm still, like, just so sad. And obviously, this rider just got me, but I think that I'm just, like, realizing I need to, like, do something about this doctor. Unsure if, like, he's controlling these animals or what. And so, with the...

that I'm going to cast conjure animals. Ooh. And I'm going to conjure a pack of wolves. And as I do that, I'm gonna go, like, the wolves appear. And I'm gonna go down and just like start petting one of the wolves. Like, kind of like the leader of the pack and say to it like, your friends are downstairs. We have to help them.

All of those animals. It was like a zoo. And I'm gonna have the wolves like charge over here and they can go. I think they can go. Are they like prehistoric wolves? I would say, yeah. Yeah, they're gonna be, yeah. I would say maybe Raptors.

Oh. Do they get packed by things still? They didn't have the statue. They didn't have the stature in the wolf. Yeah. Okay, raptors. Not wolf, okay. Fuck yeah, that's amazing.

And they're- We're coming for your green yellow. Yes, for now I'm gonna have four of them. I get eight of them, so four of them will be here. Holy smokes. And four of them will be like around. this guy here. And then I'm gonna send the other four.

They can go 40 feet. So that's, it's actually 60 foot. It's actually 60 foot pass. So, oh my God, they're gonna be able to get to them. Well, the doors are locks, right? So they are. They can't walk to them. You know that there is no point attempting

to get to the doctor. The doors are locked. The glasses, ether protected. you get the sense upon the situation unfurling that you have to deal with what's in front of you before you can move forward. It's like a bioshock, whenever you need like 10 in bottom or anybody else,

they're like behind that bulletproof glass. Yeah. Aren't it right here? They're behind plot proof glass. Got it. I think up like right here. How do you move? My silly brain don't understand that.

So I'm going to then, the wolves are gonna attack the two beasts for each. So. Here, I'll get them in melee range for you here. Okay. Let's see this is a six. She'll probably they have to make it. What is the hit? Can you tell me or no?

For which one? For, um, I'm hitting, we know that this guy is 16. Well, it was 15 when I had him when he was running away. Oh, let's do. The lion is now 15. Oh, he's going out. Now the rhino is 14. Oh. Oh my God.

I don't know if you knew that. We didn't. No, you know. Well, no. You said 15? 15 is the lion. The lion. Okay, so two hit the lion. And then what was the other one?

We don't know. 14. Okay. So then. Oh, that's a 20, so that's definitely- Holy smokes. These two. Three hit.

Some gone. So two hit this one and three hit that one, and it's just a lot of damage, so bear with me, guys. Yeah, of course. I look down at my carriage machine and I looked at, no idea what's going. Suddenly Raptors. The one set of Raptors, can we turn them face up so that they're all the same form factor?

Oh, that's a good idea. That's a very good idea. For a second, I thought the boss was in the middle of everything. everything. Now we'll be able to tell the difference. Oh, no, no, no, this is Hank. That's fine. Yeah, that worse. Yeah. Oh. Seven. And then four. It's not Samuel Adams. So it's 11 damage on this one.

Who is that? The lion. The lion? The lion? And then three. As the lion takes the hit from these raptors, this 11 damage, it will once again release a guttural roar. And my Raptors are like... Oh, yeah, you're still missing a Raptor. They're eight. Oh. I'm too many one more.

Five, six, seven. What the hell? I don't know what that happened. I thought we had them all. You too. I'm going crazy. Crazy for feeling so long. It's like that quest in the barons

when you're trying to get all the eggs. 24 damage to the other one. To the rhinos? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, their range was so good. It was, and they would never stop fucking chase

Fucking horse shit. As the rhino takes this damage, it will snort and scrape the ground very aggressively, and it will pound its chest. And I'll look at it, anything. I saw a rhino just like you downstairs. He was my friend. Maybe you can be my friend too.

I love your youthful optimism. Yeah. Like you're like, we're killing everyone. Meanwhile, you know, your raptors are literally like the cow being lowered down into the public. The lion will once again slash out at, I understand. The lion will once again slash out at whatever target is closest in a bestial fury. Either four raptors or one loboosh. Poor caviar.

It will attack Labouche. Okay. Head to head. Also attackably commued. Oh, no. Am I within? Yeah, because the idea is that corner, right, is like part of his, so as long as any square adjacent to his four squares is technically a melee range.

Wow. 17 and a 26. Both hit. Gosh. But does your AC get lower when you're raging? No. No. Why did I think that was a thing?

If you were actually, you'd take advantage. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. thing you have. 28 slashing damage. Yay! Okay, we gotta kill this guy. He's getting stronger. You said slashed? It's halved.

Yeah, haved. I'm good. I know how to play a parvarian. As the lion, it seems now, you've been fighting it for a little while. It's taken multiple blows. It seems every time that it roars out, almost as if it's getting faster, it's now getting hard to see its limbs moving

as the claws strike out. and cut into you. You've designed an incredible monster. I am impressed. Labouche, it's now your turn. What was it? Oh, yes. Why don't you pick on something your own size?

Oh, yeah. That is so fucking cool, Laboosh. Get him. Beat them up! Out of my tiny normal-sized boots, long, long shins will stretch up to my actual torso body, which is still a regular size suit,

and my long, long arm will roll up and roll up into these giant... smashing balls? Wrecking balls. And I'll raise up and go... An attempt to hit with the first one. Let's see if I am able to hit in this way. He should have recklessly attack if you'd like...

Like a giant sledge. Oh, God. What the fuck. I'll get it for me. So that's going to be 23. 23 hits? And a natural 20. Yay!

So great thing! Soccre goo! Ah, true. That's going to be this amount and then this and then this. All of that. It's cocked. All right, so that's going to be 18, 25, 27, 29.

That's a lot of damage. 31. That's a lot of damage. 33 plus 43 points of bludgeoning damage as I come down once and go, bam! Bam! Good job, Laboose. That was so cool.

The lion lets out once more, this unearthly primal howl that seems to shake you to your very core. anyone with ears. As it leaps into the air with a speed you can't track with your eyes and lands who's over on the right side?

There's dandy's here, Pikes here, Rett's here. Hank is the dog. Hank is the golden bottle cap. A lot of rapid. He lands between Hank and Pike. I mean, sorry, Hank and

Red. As he hits the ground, As he lands on the ground, you need to make a dexterity saving throw. Oh. Hank two? Yeah, Hank two. Oh, this'll be me. That'll be.

Okay. Oh, we both fail. Not good. One good. Any raptors that are in that vicinity will need to do that as well. Any raptors in that vicinity will need to do that. Oh, two. Yeah, there are three actually, because this one's technically in, if he's in this space here.

Okay. Three of your Raptors are about to get smorched. To hit, you're saying? Yeah, deck saving for you. Decks saving for you. Decks. Okay, well, the highest was seven. Oh, wow. Everyone who fails, which it sounds like is everyone, takes 10 points of damage as the lion crashes down

with the ferocity around you, shaking the ground. It then fires out with claws three times, slashing at Rhett twice and Hank once. Oh, T.HP does Hank out? He's a pretty beefy boy. How many HP do the wolves have? 21, 21, and 22 to hit. Against, well, Rhett, Rhett, Hank.

21, 22? You will see him about to land the attack, but then right as it does, you'll see sort of this like, Think of like the Star Fox reflector down here from Smash Brothers. But it's sort of this purple kind of force orb that appears and blocks his attack as I cast shield on myself. However, the attack against Hank will hit. Oh, no! 14 points of damage.

Oh, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, Hank. We all just go super-sane when Hank does, right? Like, that's what happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still good. This line crashes down, the ground beneath him

almost cracks under the sheer stress of his movements. Everyone feels it. And as he lunges out two claw attacks against Rhett, you're able to just quickly enough get up your reflector shield and holds it back briefly. But he slashes out backhand, almost like he's not even thinking. about it and the claws crash into Hank slashing at him. And Pike is your turn.

Yeah. I can't move through the Raptors, can I? You can get... I don't know that, actually. You're large. So you can move through him without difficult terrain. But then I can't really get to him, like, right, with this raptor blocking the thing he's in. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you just... I just... I just... Here's the thing, like, I could unload on this guy, but I feel like we got to... We gotta burst this dude down because he's... What's your speed?

I have 45. I can literally do this. Well, I counted that around. Okay, if you think that... No, no, you could literally... I would take an attack of opportunity. From the beetle guy. Oh, okay.

But I feel like I gotta... I gotta mess this guy up. Yeah, so even in my enlarged state, I'm able to quickly dash around and step over the Raptors and be careful not to, you know, smash my teammates. But I will take an attack of opportunity.

19 to hit. It meets it, man. You're just smoking? Really? Yeah, 19. Oh, wow. Wait, wait. He attacked. He's attacking? Yes, an attack of opportunity. As he's attacking, Hank is sort of like beaten and broken after the attack.

And sort of like grab out his leg and make up disadvantage. Oh, my gosh. With his reaction. Thank you. 14. Hank is the best. With Hank's distraction, I'm able to nimbly dodge out of the way, and I make a mental note to myself.

He swings back with almost a haymaker back fist that was going to catch you. Looked like it was. I was coming straight for your face. Hank reaches up and grabs him, pulls at his leg, and just by inches moves the fist back, and it narrowly avoids you as you move forward. I mentally thank Hank, and as I make my way around, I will spend another key point

and to continue to channel this inner ratings that I have to deliver another four blows to this thing. I'm gonna see what I can do here. 10 plus 18. 18 hits. That's it. That's a 25.

That's a 12. 12 message. Okay. And a natural fucking 12. Oh! I was doing. Rolling like a million attacks a turn. All right.

So you need more D-4s, don't you? Well, I was just going to roll these four times because out of three hits, one is it That's basically the same as four attacks. Yes. So I'm just going to roll these like I did last time. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Damn.

Damn. Easy. 17, 19, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 20, 29, 30, 31, 32, 23, 23, 13, 23, 34, 35, 37, 37, 38, 38, 9, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 50, 5, 41, 52. Oh. 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 4, 9, 50, 51, 52. No, you don't. It was three hits, right?

One of them was a press. It was four. But you don't add the... Oh, I don't know the extra 5. 52 minus 5 is 47. Wow. For technically four hits. So, I mean, that's average, like, you know, let it.

47? Yeah. Toll the hit. It's so fun. So you just add five times out of that hit from the end of it. Make it easy. Yeah, just when I'm just counting. You dodge this back fist from the rhino.

You move almost dancing, swaying between the raptors at your feet easily. You move up to this lion. You move along your palms as you easily twirl, both your legs reach out. Snap, snap, snap as your feet crash into his chest. You then, your feet land on the ground nimbly and you come up with a right hook right into the ribs.

Magenta blasts. out of the back of him. He looks like he is on the very edge of defeat. And it's at that point he grabs your torso. Oh, boy. That was your risk I was willing to take. He grabs, I mean, he is looking like everything is dripping off of his face. He's looking so rough.

But in this movement, he grabs your torso. And he goes to crash down his teeth into your neck as, He rolls a 16 to hit. I catch his jaws. He goes to bite down into your sports. The one that's given him such an issue, and you go up, you're battling with him. His strength is waning rapidly as you go to hold his mouth.

Still impossibly strong, the king of beasts, but you're just barely holding him back from his next meal. Red, a little help here. It's really good. Kavir. All right. I'm going to take another sandblast.

And is he still, is he still wrestling with this? Oh, yeah. The lion is gripping Pike around his torso, holding him. He's trying to come down. He's got to try to eat him.

Pike is barely holding on, holding the jaws of this lion off of him. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to take, I'm going to cast sandblast again.

this time a much smaller animal it's a I'm trying to think what it is Dodo bird No That's a good one

A must crap What's the one that rolls up into a ball Armadillo Yeah hell yeah As an armadillo And I'm going to shoot it straight out at the lion's sort of head Like right where the jaw hinges

So we're going to do that. So it's two beams. So that's a 17 and a 17. Both hit. Both hit. All right. So then this is... And this guy.

10. It's five. So 10. So it's 20 damage. 20 damage. You once again swirl the sands around your palms. You fire them out. These twin armadillos fire out, arms stretched it first,

and then they roll into their balls, and boom, boom. They both crash in. The first, just a concussive blow to the head. The second catches the lion straight in the jaw, unhinging it. Pike, you can see that the eyes of this lion have rolled back in its head and gone white. It falls forward onto you. Oh, shit.

Oh, it's got away, like, a lot, right? It always, it's pretty fucking... Am I, like, not prone? You are prone under the lion. Thanks, Kavir! And I just took a thumb, thumbs up, up into the air. Giant thumb.

Yeah. This is probably about a... Probably, like, a 650-pound beast. Oh, I don't think I'm getting up. Well, I have advantage of strength, so what's the city if I can get up. Since I'm such a big guy. Yeah, that's it.

There you go. Ooh, the rhino. Seeing its comrade go down, the rhino unleashes a guttural roar, not too dissimilar from the lion, as it stretches its hands out. It's weird, almost like elephant feet. I guess it's like rhino boobs, you know?

It's a rhino, yeah. The claws, it's a rhinolems. the end of it almost begin to sharpen, and they look like they elongate. As the rhino smashes, begin to trample the ground, and once again, everything within 10 feet of it needs to make a deck saving throw. No.

No. Not me. I'm throwing on the ground. Outside the enableness. He said strength. Now you're playing out. 10? This is, yeah.

Oh, bullshit. Yeah. Strength you said? Can I do it thrown or am I doing it? Your advantage. Because you're- Well, but I'm throwing it like doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

It's still fine, yeah. To me, 11. Are you sure? Is that a fail? 11? It doesn't bother. I'm pretty sure it's just decks, right? Yeah.

Can I use two twists? I fail either way. Yeah. One and a three. Oh my God. You want twist? Yeah. I don't have a lot of strength.

It's true. It is, okay. I pass both. I'll take one twist. What did the rhino do again? The rhino is trampling the ground. The rhino is trampling the ground. and everything within 10 feet of it has to roll a strength saving throw.

I fail. On a fail, you take 10 damage. On a pass, you take half of that. Oh, God. Look it pretty rough. The highest for the wolf is 12. 12 fails. All of them fail.

Everybody fails. How much health are they have? Yeah. Well, two, the one of them that's being attacked by the thing thing has only two health left, and then all the other ones are full health around it. What's their max health? It's 13.

Some of them would have taken damage from the lion coming in. Yeah, they all failed that. The L.T.10. Yeah. They all took 10 of that. They would all die regardless. Oh. To live to die.

They're just, they're just fay dust and use. Space dust. Space dust. The rhino will also, who's directly behind it? Damny. Okay. And I failed that.

Okay. Is the blood with Hank? The rhino will spin around and once again nose down and charge at Laboosh. Oh, like through all the... Anyone in its path has to roll a deck saving throw. Hank. Hank. Hank and cute Raptors.

Goodbye Raptors. And get two raptors, yeah. 18 and 20. Whoa. Oh, okay. They probably only take half. Nimble raptors. Yeah.

From the charge, six damage. I rolled minimum damage. Okay, well, this one? Oh, I pass. Oh, my God. So you take half on a pass? Yeah.

So three damage if you pass, six if you failed. And then this is to charge at Labouche. and it is a 16 to hit. Misses. Okay. He's advantaged. Who's... Oh, yeah.

Thank you. Sorry. No, that's really important. No. Oh, wait. No, 15. Oh, yeah. I would...

Rather than him missing, I would say that he almost certainly can collide with a giant creature like me, but I just like... As he gets there, he's... In the little object. And he... lunges in, but he's out of steam.

He's run over a ton of people. He's worn out. He gets there, and the horn kind of collides with you, and then just bounces off and back as he stands there, and you stand easy and triumphant. Rett? Pike, it looks like you got things handled.

And I'll see, like, you. A corpse of the lion on top of him. I'm good, Red. But that motherfucker is trying to kill my dog. And I'm going to, and all of a sudden you'll hear more kind of whirring from the ethereal engine on my back.

You'll see the levels of the gas pressure rise and the liquid tanks of ether kind of drop a little bit as you hear this like sloshing sound through the hose. And the cannon will glow brighter than it did last round as I fire two more shots, but I'm making them sharpshooter or whatever we want to call it. They're going to be empowered shots. Oh. So I take a five to hit disadvantage, but I do 10 damage of a hit, 10 extra damage of the head.

So I'll just see two attacks here. That is a... 12 for one of them and 22 for the other. Sorry, 12 for one? 12 for one of them. 12 misses? Okay. So one hits.

So that'll be 28 points of force damage from my cannon. Why are we all so strong? Does the large only extra damage only affect like melee weapon attacks? Weapon attacks, I believe. Was it on art? I thought it was on arm.

No, it's me as the blasts fly out connecting with this rhino beetle as they crash into its center. Chuckles. Oh, and with, With the rest of my turn, I'm gonna run up to rent, and I'm gonna pet him, I'm gonna say, fix yourself up, boy, you're okay.

And with my bonus action, I'm going to make Hank do a, what's it called? Backflux. Repair, that I can do three times a day. And he is going to, you know, I think in this case, because I'm in melee range, I'm gonna just kneel down, and all of the arm's gonna go down, and there's like a rivet gun, and then there's like a welding torch

and some zappy biz. And I'm going to heal. him 2D8 plus 3. Okay, that's right here. Nice. Sweet. Juckles. I am going to,

oh man, I really didn't think about this. Okay, here we go. I am going to reach, pull off my hat and reach into it, and I'm going to pull out a another llama corn, but a pinata. And it's going to be a large, like, a paper pinata,

and I'm going to just throw it above his head. And there's going to be the little jingle, and then it's going to burst as I cast Nathair's mischief. Don't you see Beastel Jackson if your favorite? See the light. I know he killed one of you. As I cast Nathar's mischief. and I need to roll

a it's a cube I can know this concentration I was gonna ask if enlarge was concentration I don't want oh is there's mischose concentration this fucking sucks been there man I am going to

I'm not gonna do that I'm sorry I rewind I am going to just I'm just gonna walk right up to him. Oh, excuse me, Laboosh. Cool thing you said, by the way. I'm like, quick, shake my hand at the Pleasant Medi, my name's Tuckled.

Oh. He is strangely compelled. As I do that, and I am going to make an attack roll for shocking grass. Oh, got me again. Uh, um, I don't know what happened. That is going to be, I think that misses. That is 14.

Oh, is it a 14, exactly? It was. It was, the lion was. The 14 misses. No, the beetle was 14. I'm telling you there's some shifting AC. I'm going to use my wild magic third. It reaches its hands out to shake your hand,

and as you go up to grasp it, it goes, Oh, I really think you would flick, huh? As my arm will extend as I use tides of chaos to re-roll, um, uh, re-roll the die. Nice. Yeah. Rerol.

It's coxed. Oh, yes, it hits. It's a 20-something. As he's doing that, my arm you'll be sliding back and it'll grasp with my hand Z.

Oh, holy shit. Holy shit. That's amazing. Oh, my gosh. I need to do damage. Oh, God, I need to... It is 2D8.

Sorry about that. I did not realize about... There's 10 points of lightning damage. And it cannot make reactions. Oh, wow. That's next turn. Nice.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. As it gets electrocuted from your kind Andy. Dandy. I will say, who's up next? Dandy is up next. Dandy, I'll say, oh, I'm sorry your raptors die.

Hear the little balloon raptor as I'll flick one and I'll start dancing floating around you as you get bargains. Oh, wow. These raptors are dead? Are you met the other? I got the one flower. All the apters are dead? You just kill up my rafter?

That's damned new voice. I'm gonna say, thank you, my chuffles. And then I'm gonna be kind of dramatic about this as I happen this whole time with like tears still kind of welling in my eyes. I'm gonna point to for the hornless rhino downstairs, for the rafters that have been lost, and for you, which one is this?

The lion? The lion. That's the rhino. And for you, like, mutated rhino, and then I'm gonna, the raptors are going to attack. And they're packed, packed seconds that are at a inch. There's three of them. And then, so I just take the highest one, so that's this one, that's this one, and that's this one. Okay.

And then it's plus four. So that's 17, 17, and 22 to hit. That'll do it. Well, you don't know. That'll do it. All of them? It's all three of them hit. Yeah.

And then there's D4s going on. So this is for... So that's four plus two, five plus two. That's six plus seven is... Thirteen. Thirteen, okay. Plus two more. 13 plus six.

So that's 19 plus two. Twenty-one damage from the Raptors. Well done. And what do you do? I'm just like stay in there. I'm controlling from over here. Well, the Raptor's active of their own accord. You can still take action.

You can like cat's bell. I forgot about that. And use your star form and shoot the star that of? Explode his brain. I want I want to choose a lot. Use explode brain.

You can punch him in the brain. Bonus action. You can get somebody if you want it. You can catch some dick. I forgot that I could explode the brain. I'm going to do a really cool thing here. So I'm going to turn into my starry form. The archer.

You draw upon the constellation of the volcano. Oh, the stars erupt around you. Boom, bing, bing, bing, and I'm like launching through, I don't know, actually. Can I? It's range. Oh, yeah, it's range. It's a little go overhang.

You can see this glowy star constellation almost shine around you, and anyone who looks would think that it takes the shape of a volcano as the gems on your form begin to glow a bright red. That's true. And I'm gonna shoot it at this rhino. Ooh, that's a big boy. Okay, that's gonna be.

D20. 13. Is it an attack roll? Yeah, it's an attack roll. Oh, it is an attack roll? Oh, it is an attack roll? Oh, darn it. What is the...

It's plus... It's probably plus eight. I got a twisticle right here. So, well, it's 15. 15 hits? Oh, perfect. 15 is the new AC. And then that was 13 damage.

It was more like... The rhino, like... The rhino, like... sets out a large howl and once again beats its chest. Its bestial features begin to almost enhance, grow stronger, it seems. Oh, it does what? It seems to have grown stronger.

Oh, oh. It seems, okay, well. It's LaBloo's turn, all right. Let's try this one more time, I will. Oh, oh. I will. I'll reach forward and I will grab it around the neck, and then you'll hear, not here, but you'll just see a pulse.

And like pop-eye arms, all of a sudden, this massive wave will come out from both of my shoulders and just surge forward. Boom! I'll attack twice, this reckless attack, thank you for that. Wow. No way! You need to retire them.

You have to melt these. No. These are Labush's dice. No. I decided from the beginning. This is twice. This is going to be a long campaign and it's like buckle up. Two net ones.

Can I twist it? Please do. Holy fucking shit. Two net ones twice. Oh my. Okay, 21 to hit. All right. And then you get two attacks.

Yeah, I get two attacks. So we'll do it again. Jeez. It's happening again. Two to three. I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to twist it. I'm not going to twist it.

You should Dr. Doom those dice. We'll see. We'll see. That's going to be one of a one It just looks so pretty, though. Probably this. He sealed, oh, cast it into the fires.

He sealed door! He's sealed door! Eight. Yeah, I do 13 points of damage to the rhino. Who is also a wino. With your rage? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I did three plus two rage damage is five, plus three is eight, plus five is 13 damage. Okay. And for your troubles, Blue Knight donated another twist. Thank you, you, and I.

You're amazing. So, both land on this creature, the blows that you send out. The first doesn't even move its jaw in the slightest. It seems to just shrug it off. The second catches it a little bit of a punch on the side of the face,

and it seems to feel that one. Bummer. As it is now Pike's story. I really wanted that one. I would like to attempt to stand up, even though I have this 600-pound lion on top of me. Roll a strength. My question before I do is, I want to know if it's going to take my whole action to do it. No.

Okay. You're advantaged because you're big. Thank you. It's going to be a 9. And that's going to be an 18 plus 3 is 21 strength. I'd say with it 21. This is still a 650-pound lion grotesque, a test experiment monster. but you're able to shift it up on one side.

You can't fully leap it up, but enough to kind of shift and then spin out from under it. Chagulls, you crazy son of a bitch. And I'm gonna use half my movement to stand up. And then I'm holding onto my ribs with my left arm very clearly in a lot of pain, bleeding from the forehead, you know, probably a black eye. And I raise my right hand, and the gauntlet that I'm wearing

begins to glow as I point my finger and thumb and close one eye and bear down on this rhino beetle monster and I will use both of my attacks to use radiant sunblast I think is what it's called one of the windch here radiant sunbolt and spend a key point so I can attack four times and I fire off I pepper this thing four times than radiant sunbolts from my gauntlet good blow her yeah let's go right to hell A gold against action. Yeah, so I will just make vortex. It is plus eight.

You're a big guy. That's going to be 23 to hit. 23 hits. Oh, that's going to be 11. 11 misses. Oh, 12? No, 13. 13 misses?

Ah, damn it. 15. 15 misses. Okay, and we hit one. Let's twist at least one of those. All right, I'll twist it. I do have plus eight. I got plus eight.

You know, but I've been a little pretty good. 18. There you go. So that's two hits. I will not get the enlarge bonus this time, but I still get my radiant damage bonus. So that's going to be 1D6, 1D4 to 5, which is, oh, terrible.

That's seven. And then six, seven, eight plus seven, there are 20 points of damage. 20 points of damage. And average is about 10 a hit. That's pretty good. And I'm wounded, so two of these just miss. And the other two will find some kind of purchase.

You try to try that? We're... Yeah. I fucking knew it. You gotta describe this. Okay. I am... You shift this lion creature off of you.

You spin deathly out from under it. You pull up to... Not even your full standing. You're down on your right knee, clutching your rib cage. You extend out your hand. The gaunt is very sleek against my wrist. It kind of goes up the back of my hand a little bit

and runs down my forearm, not quite to elbow length. It's gold, and it gives off a very similar radiant glow that I do. And as I fire this beam, the color at the tip of my finger is kind of goes, it shifts and moves from magenta to pink to oranges. And then as I am wounded and I might stumble forward a little bit, but I brace myself, I look up and I say, bang.

And the bolt fires forward, and I might find a weak point in its armor shell from my teammates and crewmates wearing this thing down, and I try to make a vital attack. You see these four beautiful orange magenta yellow blasts fly out, two sword just over the edges of the rhino. And then the two, one, boom, hits center chest, dislodges a little from where the second. The sand is worn the interplate from where the raptor's scratching had open it, from where the Lama corn's charge had done something, from where Labush's mighty blows have juiced it apart, and from where Brett's ether cannon had deteriorated, your one attack snaps open the chest plate just a bit so that the other sneaks within and blasts a hole clean through the chest of this rhino as its eyes fall back and it falls to the

ground dead. If I wasn't kneeling before I fall to one knee. Very clearly, extremely wounded. The raptors just go to town. I become carrying. I'm in the course. Not you. Danny's like, they must feed. You're bigger now. You've got flesh to spare. So much protein. So much of the protein. All life must return.

Chuckles. Will I be like this forever? Oh no, you only got... You were about a three-pump chump dude, so you don't got much longer. Oh, God, Spig, it can't be that bad. I move my hand. It's very...

It's one minute. Oh, yeah, dropping about now. Are we still in combat? Combat has dropped. Okay, I return in the laboratory. Oh, yeah. That's pretty bad. I just, when you were so big, you didn't look that.

My arm floor and my hand is very clearly, I'm bleeding. Proveously. Just hold, fucking, hold still. Yeah, okay. All right. I will place my hand on and one of the arms will come from around my pack. It'll be this big, like, syringe with this, like, purple liquid. It's sort of dripping purple with this long needle.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Here comes the tattoo. Oh, fun. Okay. I can't be good for you. It'll step right into your shoulder, and it will inject this sort of ethereal medicine, and I will cast cure wounds at a second level.

That's pretty good. I'll, I'll walk over. Okay, my turn. I'll put it on the glove. I'll put on the glove, and I'll have a giant syringe full of confetti. Okay, on three. No, no.

This syringe is far thicker than a red. Chuddle's no. The needle is doing this. The needle is doing this. Get ready, it's okay. It's gonna feel a slight pinch. You're a one. As I guess, that's how I'm flavoring healing words.

It's just bullshit. It comes out of his eyes. For the second time today you hear Labusch laugh. Ten points of healing to you. Damn! And I need to roll for ten points of healing to you. Oh, you guys are the best. Okay.

Gosh, I avoided wild magic. Oh, that would flow. I no longer am bleeding. Thanks, guys. Ah, ha! Yeah. Oh, thanks. Ah, now what? Well, now you have confetti running through your vein.

You probably have a doctor look at it. Yeah, it can't be any worse than the cigarettes. There's one right up there, actually. Speaking of, is he still in there? Can we see him? Yeah. You absolutely can. His back still to the window.

He's clacking away to his computer, continuing his research. I will see if I can bash through the window. Hell right, you take care of him. I gotta take care of my dog. I'm gonna kneel down and cast mending on, on H. Stop.

Heart. I'm gonna go with Labo. Yeah, I'll walk up to, I'll walk up one of the stair staircases to get to the door. I would say you roll and attack roll. First I'll just like, look at the, go up to the window and be like, Let's see if these guys actually warm up.

I, uh, 18. 18. 18. With an 18, I'd say you extend out an arm from where you are and begin to tap at the glass. He spins quickly just in time to see you down on the ground grabbing either edge of the grate. You stepped back from your arms as you hold down.

You then release your goo moon boots and you fly forward. You fly forward, you fling yourself with great speed at the window, cavier riding on your shoulders, probably. The two of you, the combination of the two of you, as you punch forward, you shatter through the glass. Energy having ruptured any defense that this space had, and you burst into the light.

As soon as I am through, I will attempt to literally turn my arm into a rope and lasso around his waist and pull him in and just grapple him. It's like a straight jacket almost. Ah, no, you do not, no, let me know. Release me, release me. You're not going anywhere. You shloop him, you juice him towards you back up into your form.

He struggles against it, only presumably his head outside of your eyes. I don't have to let you breathe. You don't understand. I could save everyone. Why don't you start talking? And I'll eat. Good job, Laboosh.

And I'm gonna reach into my hat. And I'll be looked really menacing. I'm gonna reach in. And I'm gonna pull out an apple. Oh. You know what they say about an apple a day, don't you doc? Keep the doctor away. What is this who questions, man?

This guy. Yes. You're lucky. It's not one of the other guys. You think I'm crazy. You should see the pug. It'd be a real shame if this apple did its magic and took your head straight off, is what I'm going to say. Not the apple again, suckles.

I always have to clean up after it. You don't understand. You have to let me finish. If you don't, we will all be killed. By who? Who is coming? Who are you so afraid of? I can't speak his name.

I didn't do what they accuse me of. I didn't steal this. I didn't bring all this here. How would I? You saw no vehicle when you came in. I have nothing here that brought this here. It was delivered to me. I was sent here to continue this work under the secrecy of this outer rim.

If I don't do what he says, we all die. I will join the room with Hank looking better. Well, you better start fucking talking. Yeah. You said you were sticking at a console. You're stickering at a console. You think that the pug is craving.

Just wait till you meet the angry purple dwarf. That's me. Death this guy. Can you take a look at the console? See what he's looking at, working on? I can try. Just keep him there. And he's not going anywhere.

I will turn and I will sit down at the console and I'll try to sort of see what he was doing. Roll an investigation check at advantage. You've already interfaced with this system once before. The files are in the computer. Do you the computer? There? That's really high.

That's 18 plus 8. Yeah, you're smart. 26. Wicked smat. You plug in, one of your arms kicks down and finds the input to this drive. You start to see things scrolling past your eye. You see over and over again snippets. A lot of it, the same medical gobbledygook you didn't understand before.

A phrase you continuously. come across that stands out to you prominently. Human cloning and enhancement. All right, we get it. You're fucking cloning humans. What's the point? You're presumably not a human. Who are you doing this for?

And why? The boss. The boss. I wanted to help people. I really did. I wanted to cure things. I wanted to save people. But when they understand,

the implications of the work that I was beginning. They knew what it could mean. The boss. They sent me here, provided me everything I needed to continue my research outside of the influence of the empire. I don't know why he wanted me to do such a thing, but it allowed me to further my own goals. And so I did. Why does the empire want you back so bad?

I do not know. I don't know who put out the bounty on me. Maybe they just think that I have stolen their equipment. Maybe they caught wind of the actual research I was doing. Likely story. Hold up the apple to his face. You like caress his face from the apple. No, no, please, please, my greatest weakness. That was one of the reasons they wanted us to bring him in.

Was the research. They didn't say what con. but... Oh, and they didn't go fuck whether he was alive or dead. That's true. They have a bunch of kids that are turning in a soup out there. You expect us to give a shit whatever you have to say? Unless you can fix them.

The only way to fix them is to solidify their gene splicing. Which I'm afraid for them, that time has already passed. Damn. They can't exist beyond the pods for... More than moments. Jackson's. What about the one that worked? My only success.

There was something different about him. I don't know. The same process I went through, but something happened, some spark entered. Something I didn't count on. And he solidified. He survived.

I don't know why. I've been trying to recreate it here. I've been trying to recreate it with them. But I haven't been able to. And because of that, you see my work in the first room. Why keep the failures alive? To learn, to study them, to see how long they will last, to see what I did, what I could do. Not because you had hope.

They may find some way that you might find a solution? Not for them. That does not surprise me Is Pike? Are you in the room? Yeah, yeah. I would I'm just, I would have, I would have been there with Rhett while he was healing Hank, but as soon as he came up, I would have come up

with him, and I've been just taking all of this in and listening. Because I'm pretty banged up, even though you guys help me out. Hey, Pike, can I bum a figurette? Yeah, I guess. You got a credit? You can trade me? Oh, yeah, sure. Oh, I already feet, hold on, and I'll pull behind it. your ear. Oh,

credit, here you go, buddy. I swipe the credit and I put it in my pocket. I'll, I'll put the cigarette in my mouth. And I'll reach it in my hat and I'll use a song of creation and pull out a chair and spin it around and sit down.

Okay, Doc. So let me ask you something. As I'll just keep the smoke will keep billowing more and more and more. As I blow on it. I haven't lit. It was going to say it's just somehow something's not going down at all. Beautiful. Beautiful.

What do you think we should do with you now that we have you in our gooey clutches? Well, if you ask me, release me, let me continue my work. You know we're not going to do that, right? Well, you couldn't blame me for trying. You've done some pretty horrific things, and you previously mentioned barrel of credits. Turn me in. kill me now, it does not matter. I didn't complete my task.

I won't last. The real question here is, why aren't you telling us who the bosses? That I cannot say. To speak his name would mean death, most swift. It looks like that's gonna happen either way here, pal.

I'm gonna narrow my eyes at him. I wanna just get a sense of like, can I just sort of like, I am up anywhere, like, on his face or his head or his neck to see if there's any evidence of some sort of like implantation or operation or surgery that I might be, you know, aware of or used to or... Oh, and investigation check. Love it.

Ah, still pretty good with 7 plus 8, 15. Yeah. 15. With a 15, taking a look at him, you would know. notice a scar in his neck that runs up just to the base of his jaw line. Oh, he's so brilliant. But you're not exactly sure what that would tie to. You really do have 20 in. Oh, my God.

You know, fella, you and I might have a little something in common. But here's the rub. Your head removed from your fucking shoulders is worth 50 grand. So even if we leave you to do what you're gonna do, someone else is gonna show up and fucking kill you. That's inevitable, no matter what we do. So with that mind, what would you have us do?

Presuming that your fucking mission is somewhat holier than the purpose of the fucking empire and every other fucking government in this galaxy. It looks at chuckles. I'll take a long drag of the cigarette as I just tossed the apple up and down. Do you mind? And gestures at the cigarette?

Yeah, sure. Why not? You don't really... This is probably gonna be your last one. I'll lean him down real close. And I'll... Here you go, buddy. Sorry it's been in clown lips. And I'll...

Make up on it. Yeah, if you got a light... Oh, no, you got a light. I actually don't have a way. I'll... And then I'll just pull light out of my pocket. There you go. See, we just want to be friends. I'm not proud of what I did. I'm guessing friends on him.

As I give him the cigarette, as I get the cigarette, it's absolutely leased with clown venom. It's creed in my cloud bedroom. What do you think that red market all the way around? There's so many questions that I'm not comfortable with. He draws, he takes a long, draws you cast friends on him. Oh, my God.

Oh, I just use friends on myself. Yeah, you just have advantage on him. Oh, I'm just directing it. So he just is becoming more friendly than me. He's not under my mind control or anything. The cigarette gesture goes a long way. Yeah. Yeah. I still have cloud venom on it. I'm not proud of

what I did, not being able to solve it. But I suppose there's no avoiding it now. The boss is the boss. And as he says it, his neck begins to elongate and bulb as an explosion bursts out of the side of his carotid artery. His head doesn't separate, remains just loosely connected at the left as it turns over to the side.

If I can, I'll try to stop the bleeding, but he's, Ted, the only thing that's gonna have been just minor bits of skin on the side as he tilts over. I do not like this place. And his head just totally blows off. You'll also hear, roll a perception check actually, group perception.

Oh, a group check? Can I roll over a 10? Oh, God. Natural 20. Natural 20! Natural 20! We're on one. Let's go!

Natural one! True. Oh! You're covered. You got alien gunk in your ears. I'm like, uh, let's see if this is a natural one or a natural one ain't based on.

I am so focused. What I do, like, while this is happening, I kind of do this. And I'm like, yeah, he still looks like him.

I'm really focused on the balance. I'm very careful. We should be all right. Everyone who rolled over a 15. Oh, let's say at 14. I got a 21. You start to hear faint popping and rumbling in the distance.

Oh, fuck. The ground starts to shake and tremble. Anyone who got over at 20, you would perceive this as what you would assume is this asteroid is beginning to explode. Oh, no! I fucking knew it. We gotta get the fuck out of here right now. The animals. There's no time, let's go.

Can they come on the ship? the ship? Please, Rhett, please. I don't think we'll have time. We don't have time. Come on, Rick. We got to get out of here. I'll call them. We can save one thing. And is it going to be the human or the animals? I've got the human. If you

have any other way. Just take his head. We're talking about the other human. That's some fucking a-lan. I'm talking about the human and the pod. No. The animals. The human and the pod? I think we need to take you with us. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Jackson. Do we even have time? Let's go, everybody.

We make sure we have the guy's head, and we begin to backtrack out here. And then, yeah, he's floating like Disney's head in the, we begin to backtracking. Back the way that Rhett would have shown us where to go. You start racing out of this room. As you approach the door, it swings open. A blast comes at you from your right.

Rubble crashes down as the ceiling starts to cave in all around you. All rooms cut off from what you'd want to go. The only way forward. The door swing open as you start to race out. The explosions have killed the power. You see all ponds have opened. The hoods have shifted back. You are met with a liquid that coats the ground.

You see blades, claws, talons, scattered about and strands of hair and organic ooze. You do your best attempt to sprint through this as you just race out of this room, getting up the stairs out the entryway. The rock covering opens up. You've seen an explosion as a portion of the asteroid starts to separate off into space.

You race towards your mecks. You race towards your ship. You all hop in and do your best as the... I was just going to ask, Did we notice what had happened to that perfect looking human, or was it too dark? Or did we notice that the container was open and he wasn't there, or was it just goo?

Roll a perception check at disadvantage. You look into the room, the pot is open and empty. Both of them. Just do a twist. We do a twist. I want to know. Give me one twist. One twist. One twist. I want to know.

I want to know. Put it into my... My lowest smile. You were racing through this room. You didn't have time to look around, but you cool under pressure, glance for just a moment as rubble was crashing down to shut off that doorway.

It crashes through the door. You catch the faintest glimpse through an opening, and you see the pod in that room closed and secure, seemingly powered in that space. As the asteroid, it begins to explode around you and dismantle everything. Back to how many of the shoes? race to your ships and hop in as you take back to the air and you rejoin the Rhapsody.

We'll never know. That was pretty bad. Yeah. We're back on the Rhapsody. You back on the Rhapsody. Oh, we're back there. Land. I'll get out.

I'll look as the asteroid's exploding out of the... Can we see the... You look behind you as the hangar bay is closing as your ships, as you're popping out of your ships, you're able, as it's shutting, you catch the faintest glimpse of the asteroid as it explodes, a circle it expands from its center. Space dust and junk and chunks of small asteroid fly out in all directions. You can feel the pelting of it as it hits into, some of it crashes into the hull of the Rhapsody bouncing off effortlessly. Look at the, do you have the head with you?

When I got into my Mac, I may have crushed it a little. But it is okay? I'll look at the head with the exploded neck, and I'll reach out to Pike. Pike, Shades me. Okay. I don't even know why I humor you anymore. I'll stand as an asteroid that's floating around me.

Looks like we got out of there in the neck of time. Brett hits a button on the console and you and then the end credit scene that song play, no. Oh, here you go. I did not like that. It sounds like this bounty just goes a little more difficult.

Well, we have the head. That means we get our money and then we worry about whoever this other guy is if he comes after us, but we're going to be a thousand light years away. You still have the stuff, Kavir? Yeah, there you start to have it. And I don't know if I would have had a chance,

but I would have tried to download whatever I could have from the console if that was a thing. But either way, we have some paper fucking evidence. I don't know if they'll count that as stolen tech research. Dandy, that was brutal. Yeah, that is the way of things out here. That is how things are.

I understand what we must do to get pie, to get money. Yeah, space bacon. But this is a world I didn't know of. Yeah, well, there's lots to learn. There's lots to learn. And you've learned about many horrors capable of both God and man and all sorts of Venus aliens, such as ourselves, terrible horrors, violence.

But that's the outer rim, baby. You gotta get used to it, you know? Okay, chuckles. Hunting bounties isn't for the faint of heart. It's often glamorized in the wrong way. Pike, I don't have a heart. I do not. That's not true, Dandy.

You have the biggest heart of everyone that I know. Here I'll prove it to you as I'll reach over. And I will minor illusion. Oh, wait, hold on. What's that behind your ear? I found your heart. It's a perfect representation of a huge heart. See?

Thank you for making me al-a-cund. You're welcome, and to cheer you up a little bit. I've been saving the tart. It's really just a mini pie. I trust you. It should be very delicious. No, I just take it. You really trust...

Roll a D6. Well, you roll a D6, chuckles. Six. Oh, six. Rusty nails. Six, you feel like you have the ability to alter, to transform yourself via alter self for the next hour to whatever you'd like to.

Oh, is that wild imagine? No, that's my vestige feature, the alchemist. I was going to say, that's the simple chocolate thing. At any time I want, like. You're the next hour. Yeah, the next hour. Got it, okay. Well, I think I'm going to transform myself into Juckles.

Oh! This is my worst nightmare. So I just like, whatever, how bad it was, put myself into juggle. And I just literally started taking pies out of, like, my butt crack. And, like, behind my own ear. And I'm just, like, shoving them in my mouth. I'm so excited.

And, like, I have unlimited pies, unlimited pies. Oh, ho! Oh, ha! That was my blah, black pie. The neon turquoise. It really gave it away. Brett, don't we have some kind of Rhapsody rule against this? Come on.

You know what? Just this wants. Let's humor him. All right. Especially dandy. I'm going to go put this in a jar before he dissolves in my hands. And I walk off into the heart of the raptity looking for some kind of vessel to safely transport the head of Dr. Screens. You would be able to find, even in the docking bay, probably a crate that would be used for moving any number of organic material that you could put head within it and snap it closed.

All right, Hank. Get us to the Space Station 777. I believe it was 77. Isn't that what I fucking said? Yeah. Yeah. You got that, buddy? Hank starts to, the engines of the jet whirl up.

And the Rhapsody takes off into space. You once again, as you all move back to the lounge area, you see your bounty flashing on the screen. You read the script as it comes across. not good, but successful. Dr. Mays, height, 6'4, weight, 140 pounds. Capture Difficulty Rating, 1 out of 10. I'm skimming it. Bounty for Dr. Screammase won a dead or alive, a notorious research and resource thief. Dr. Mays stands accused of stealing sensitive research and 500,000 credits worth of equipment and is now on the run. My face drops. You must also return

any and all research in his possession in relation to humanoid cross-species, gene, splicing, genetic manipulation and behavioral reconstitution mapping. Pay out for successful completion of contract, 50,000 credits. Bounty turn in. Space Station 77 to the boss. And that is where we'll end the session. No, Mace. Well done. Unbelievable. Oh, that was so fucking good. Mace. You're an expert. You're an expert. How did you get this good? What happened? Oh, my God.

Big boss. Thanks. Got it, deep it up. The whole time it was the boss. Thank you for listening to the Legends of a Ventress podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier Hire to unlock Shroud Over Salt Marsh.

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