Legends of Avantris - Uprooted | S2E11 | Castle Crashers

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

In a panic, the Vagabond's scramble to find a way to defeat a demon...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/AABeYsDXy2s?si=-XtiODoVkPW1malU

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Booker and you're listening to Upruded. Here's what happened last time. There's a feast. We are supposed to get going. With the master. He was trying to warn us about the demon in the basement. You are late, they feel.

Death, the pride of death is foretold to be foretoed. He said, foretold twice. No, no, he said foretoed. No, he said foretoed. Oh, you know, it's the hair. The hair in my ears. I didn't hear that missing. Well, I don't know what to tell you, all right?

I'm sorry, can you speak up, please count? It's hard to hear you over the, you know, like the gravel in your throat. We must have the wedding, and then you will all be sacrificed to Circu. That's twice today. Every morning. Too soon. RAH! Did we just win?

Did we just win? I was waiting for that. I don't know. If the counts for lactory is not able to return him, surely Searle will be unleashed yet. Yes, unleashed free to rain at this castle, then hell will chewy rain. I'll say that was gonna be my question.

Thank you, Michael. Michael, I'm sorry, I'm- The entire castle begins a shame. Oh, I hear a horrible rumbling from deep. Oh, Rastral Gats. The entire castle is shaking. As Redfield goes,

what's happening? I believe the flaggery is compromised. Do you think, who did you think that that could have been? Rochazzo, that's all seen, cool, oh, no, you hear that going. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. How could that have happened? I'll say, I say we were barely over here. What?

Mortals were forbidden from this. How did this possibly happen? No, no, I mean, we saw the sign, and then there was like a wonderful piece of art that was like above the doorframe and it told us to turn like don't turn back don't go back the way you came so we proceeded to get away from

where they were telling us to go away from. Yeah, it was very clear. And that's how we found you in the Margaritaville, make a machine. Oh, who will approve my PTO now? Well, I think the count's gone. I think he's gone for good. It's going to be, I mean, you got unlimited PTO now,

but I have all the PTO. However, the master have been destroyed. His only weakness was only known by one cat, and he was locked in the dungeon, also for the bit. Is there a cat in the basement? Well, there was. Oh, yes, we must consult. The professor will know what to do.

Oh, Professor two old cat? Oh, he will know what to do. No, he's probably napping. We shouldn't go down there. We should let him rest. Is this castle going to, like, collapse on this building. We don't want to get killed. I don't want to get crushed. A Redfield grandfather clock falls off of the wall. The eyes of the

shatters into bright orange plastic. Uh-oh. That's a good side. With the tail of the pendulum. Damn. I must destroy. Oh, the master's wheel is last will and testament. Oh, goodness gracious, I can't believe the master is dead. No, he might Oh, Lord, I think I've got a tear coming. Oh, yes, I've got one, I've got one. Oh, master. How I miss you already. Oh, his last will and testament.

Oh, he's just got there on him all the time. We must save his figurines in his man cave. I'm gonna be honestly, I have no interest in doing it. I'll say, I said, did he deign an executor of the estate? In his man cave, It all, I must save the figurines and delete his search history. He runs out of the Renfield rooms,

everything is shaking. What are we gonna do? Are we gonna follow him and do the Last Will and Testament thing? Or are we gonna, should we go down and try and stop this demon rising? I'm really curious about the whole demon thing. I'm gonna be honest. Should we just leave and say somebody else's problem,

the way we've done with every other clearing we've found. The problem is getting back surface side. I don't know how we're gonna get up there. I mean, what if the demon is just special effects, you know? Like the green screen, like he said. No, it's a real demon. Oh, no. Now that Biddy mentions, it's definitely not a real demon.

Oh, maybe there's like hidden speakers playing that crumbling castle sound. Do you know what? Oh my gosh, now that you say that, I bet he's not even dead. I bet that's part of the murder mystery, and we're supposed to go down and check out all these weird rumblings so we can figure out who actually done it. Is there like a prize or something, if we get it right? I bet there is.

Like, someone who owns a place like this, they're loaded. He already gave me a huge sack of gold. Can you imagine? I bet there are more sacks of gold. Probably three, four, at least 40 times more sacks of gold. Did you see that Margaritaville machine? That thing wasn't cheap. Oh, absolutely not.

Oh, so it's like, I'll say you think it's like he's giving out prizes. Instead of gold, you get yourself your own Margaritaville machine. I hope so. And you know what, rich, people alike, right? They don't pay their employees well and they definitely don't give them time off because that's a loss of money. Oh. So this guy's got to be really rich. Okay. Well, then we got to go figure out this whole circle thing then. We might as well go do that, right? As you should at least help our goal. We don't want him to get collapsed and crushed in the

console. No, no, he's, he's part of the whole thing. It's not real. It's a show. Seer cool, like the Seer cool of life. Yeah, exactly. That must be a hint. That's got to be a clue. Oh, I'll get it now. We're on to something. You know what? It's probably like one of those, what are they?

What are they? The scavenger hunts. Well, if we think Yago is a part of the show, I mean, what if he's supposed to ferry us to the basement? We have to follow his checkpoints as we go. How much you want to bet our next clue is in that room. We've got to get one of those statues. I bet it's the made one.

We have to stop him from erase in the browser history. I've mentioned something in the browser history. We have to identify. We gotta go, come on! We got to find the brook. We're gonna be . You find the door, who clearly is not very fast. You find the door open to the man cave.

You see the forbidden Count Orlock only. As you see the strange device with all of the glowing red, blue, and red and green, and you see Ygor is on like the computer trying to do. I kick the door open, and I step in and I say, Stop right there, Wygo, you creepy fuck. How does this work? Get away from that.

We need that. We're going to solve this. Get away. No, I need to cut down the internet. Brumley, get him. Get him. Grumley, get him. I need to cut down the internet.

Our meatbott. I'm trying to tackle him out of the shit. Make a, make a contest. Holy shit. Oh, my God. I don't have any dice bag. Is my blue dice bag anywhere?

Yeah. Oh, they're right there. Sick him, Brumley. Tear his throat out. Athletics versus acrobatics for Wiggo. Twenty-two. Holy why we're at the stand a chance or does he 22 with the 25 oh oh what I know I shout to grumbly and I say sick him tear his

throat out I can barric inspiration add one D six you can oh oh my god don't roll it two You see him start to like shift very suddenly. And with Booker's inspiring words, you adjust your, your, um. I tripped and it's tumbling. You're tripping you tumble. Oh, no, I don't.

Oh, that boy. Oh, oh. We're just for the game. We're just joking. We need the clues. You hear a loud snap. Oh. Oh, I think why broke a shin.

I shouldn't. You shouldn't. I said you can't fool us. We're going straight for that browser. Oh, do you think that this is a bad break? He pulls out of it. Oh, wow. That is really realistic.

Holy crap. That's not looking very good, but I got a little bit of magic. I can bind it up a little bit, and I open a job spiders, and they shoot a bunch of webs out all over. Gosh, I hope those aren't spiders. I have a phobia of . There's so many spiders in this castle you think I wouldn't be a friend. Wait, what did you do?

Can you take a look at this? I just read the web. I'll see if he'd booker and Peggy, honey. You checked the search history. Take a look at what? Look at his horrible wound. That's clearly special effects and blood makeup. Why, Gore, is this real?

Did he really break your leg? Did you really break your leg? Myel. What is pouring out of his? Is this part of some sort of actor? You actually going into shock right now. Well, yeah. No, please help him.

I can't kill Michael. Did you mechanically do anything with the spiders, or did you just open a jar that wits? Webb. I just guessed Webb to, like, bind his legs of the bone. He's now stuck to the ground. He's stuck to the floor in his skin. All right.

Oh, make a medicine check. Just a minute. It ain't good, fam. Better than average. 13. I mean, I'm not a doctor, it's just spiders. It's just spiders. It's just a spotted blank.

Is this not so serious? This looks really serious. If this is a real bone break, I gotta set it right away. You just try not to move so much that black are little skittish. Does that it? And then forget it.

That is the question. Maybe this is the next clue. Maybe the clue is compact. The master's search history. I like use my foot to just like move his body a little bit farther. Just to not let him get there. I don't kick him, but I use my foot to push him

away from the keyboard. I think he's telling the truth. He seems like he's in a lot of pain. I'm not going to let him touch this thing. Fix him. You stay right. there, I'm gonna set this bone, all right? What does it be to sit a bone?

It means to put it back where it's right again. Right now it's not right. Oh, I always sit a bone in the castle, but it's just placing a bone in front of the skeletons on account of that being their money. Remember? Your money's broken. Yes, I remember. Oh, do you think it's,

do you think that their bone money is backed by any sort of metal with an inherent value? I hope so. government fiat. If it's just fiat, it'll lead to collapse eventually. Oh, imagine the inflation. Now hold still, hold still. I'm gonna grab him by the thigh and by the ankle,

and I'm just gonna stretch him out and then put him back together all in one move. Oh, y- I need you to make a medicine tractor. I'm going to use. Can I hold them down and help? Yes, yeah. And can the web's, can the web's hold it so right?

It'll affect the D.C. It'll affect the D.C. While they're helping Wigar, I would ask John Claude to go to this contraption and let me stand on his shoulders to see if I can mess around with the search history. And while they're doing that, I'm gonna go to the cabinet filled with the figurines

and start just looking through all of them to see if any of them look special in any way. I can't do it. No, you can't do that. Making the mess again. You can do that. You can do it. around the bush on this one.

Make an investigation check. I want to use a twist. Okay. Oh. How many? How many? No, it only adds the number. Oh.

Are we doing that? Yeah. Oh, I thought we were re-roll. Or are we doing re-rules. No, we do re-roll. Okay, okay. Pulling out. Pulling out.

That's my iPad and change orientation. That was on the ground. I'm in a shot. Yeah, that doesn't count. Medicine check. Here, this one has your face on it. What? This one has your face on it.

No, that's okay. So I need a medicine check from Bitsy. I'm also, if I can, as a magic action, I would like to expend one of my focus points to touch a creature and restore 1D6 plus three. Oh, yeah, hit points. Okay. However, I will make a medicine check first to make sure that I grab the correct leg.

Yeah. Oh, that's cocked. That's a natural 20. Oh, my God. Gotta give it up. Woo! Got it up. Oh, that's the right leg right there, yep.

How much that be... I'm going to roll a constitution saviour to see if he passes out or no. This guy's dead. He's gonna bleed out. Max damage, or Max, Macs damage, recovered is what I meant to say. He heals nine hitting points. He says, oh, that's, that actually, I think, fixed it. Ah!

Ah! Mr. Wai-more, are you okay? I think he passed out. The pain, oh, the pain. Yeah, you gotta stay still. I'm gonna, I'm just gotta hold this together for a minute. Oh, I think I'm gonna pass out for the pain. Oh, I think that he passed out.

Oh, oh. Sircuhl below is rising. The only way to defeat Sircuhus. It's the one. How do we do this? See, I told you, the bone was really broken and Ciracool is real. He was gonna tell us how to defeat him,

and now he's passed out. to wake them up. What have you done? Young Lord, this is all your fault. Oh, this is part of Blake, nothing more of flesh wound. Oh, yes, of course, what was I saying? How do you defeat Seer-Koo? Yes.

How do you do it? I was saying the only ways to take the only way to defeat Seer-Koole. The only way to defeat Seer-Koo. Yes, please tell me. To be whom again. Seer-Cool, how do you defeat him? Ah, yes, yes, it defeats Sir-Cool. Yes. It's very good.

Very important. Step one. Yeah, oh, okay. Should I write this down? Are you taking notes? I got it, I got it all in here. I got a mine like a steel trap. Hold on. Get rising intensity.

Peggy, can I borrow a pencil? Seer cool. How do you just tell me and then we can double back? Oh, see cool. Oh, yes. To defeat whom? Sircuh. How do you defeat him? How do you, you know how to defeat him?

Oh, step one. First, you must. Oh, say, damn it, grumbling. You hit him so hard, it's developmental difficult. He had someone broke his shit. I don't know how this happened. I'm on this was a murder mystery. While this is happening, I'm trying to figure out

how to work this machine. Booker's on my shoulders. See if I can get the next clue to the murder mystery in the search history. Okay, making an investigation check. The secret to everything. The secrets to ever to see if you succeed this. Oh,

Together. Yeah. Yeah. Atlantis or acrobatics, yeah. Yeah, he's helping me for sure. That's a 17 plus 6. 23 for acrobatics. Oh 20 feet for acobatics. You might not be on these filters long.

Let's see. For acrobatics, you say? Oh, six. And I have a plus five. Oh, that's not bad. So then... It's an 11. You basically...

No, no, no, no. A total is a six. And I have a plus five. Oh. Which means I roll a natural one. So Jean-C., is extremely wobbly, which will increase the DC of this invention. Okay. Well, luckily for investigation, I got a 21. Nice. Okay. Um, I would say that's enough as you're trying to see. Yeah, with my furry raccoon paws. I'm just trying to figure how to use this machine. Yeah. You see X hamster. Ah! No. That's it. It's just X hamster. This is the dim wood. It works the same.

As things are like wobbly, I look down to Jean-Claude and I say, it says something about a hamster. What's the same? What's the time? As things are like wobbly, I look down to Jean-Claude and I say, it says something about a hamster. What's that? What do you think this means? Oh, does I have an accent in front of it? It does, it does. Well, I have no idea! And then you, and then you, you're clicking around, and you don't really know how this thing works. This is an Eldritch strange contraption,

but you're starting to figure it out, and you do, with that, you do manage to find a favorites tab of how to, you like type in how to. Yeah. And you see a lot of, all of the purple links that appear in all of the same searches, he is heinous. You will never forget, you will never appear,

you will never appear, and you will never, You'll never forget what you say? Are you okay? What's what's happening? Don't look, don't look, don't do it. Oh God, okay. I really wanna win this murder mystery. I'm gonna power through, I'm gonna take one for the team.

Oh, is it bad? But you find a how to defeat Seer cool, real answer, no Reddit. Which works the same, this is the dim wood. I'm waiting through all this nightmare shit. I think I found it. I think I found it. Oh, so you click on it. Yeah.

How many times is it gonna Google? Never mind, keep going. No, booker, that's Quora. No! You click on Quaka. Nice. That's really very good. There's my question.

How do I make perfect egg salad? No, I didn't ask for that. That's not what I asked for. What did this question come from? I've got to keep scrolling. Get this ad out of here. No, no, I don't want to become a user. Just give me the answer.

And you realize that the answer is for paid members only. Son of a bitch. I try to like find, I try to take some gold out of the gold. And I try to find like a coin slot. I'm just trying to become a paid member. Okay, the paid membership is 50 gold pieces a month. What? John Claude's very shaky.

Chalka, I don't know what to do. Well, what's your current problem? I had to pay to get the answer, and it said 50 gold pieces a month. I'm glad you asked John Claude. I think Mike was going to die. Fix he can't help. I think he passed out of these seatbox really I only have 97 gold coins

I don't really want to use 50 of them Grumley would deal with real problems up here right oh sorry all right all right I'll do it I'll do it I'll do it is there a place for me to like deposit the oh yeah it's like a fucking arcade okay guys don't worry I'll do this quick oh shit

oh I'll go away well I'll catch you I got 96 more it's fine it's fine it's fine click click to chute joops and I do this 50 times. And that one is not the only one that I drop. Wallace happens, Peggy, what are you looking for specifically?

I'm just looking for any of them that look like they might be special or they might contain a secret. I got a 22. Okay. So anything that looks like it's out of the ordinary. Um, you... I have a UV light. You have a UV light.

A UV light. A UV lo. You look and you see that there are... That there are a wide variety of figures. You see that the sum seem to be in less taken care of. But there does seem to be one that is probably the closest to the strains contraption that Booker and Jean-Claude are trying to access. and activate.

And you do find a figure that seems to be just more, a bit more run down than the others. And it's... Well, not the paint's chipping off of a shirt. And what do you think that this figure might look like? What would you expect that from Count Morlock that you've seen?

Count Morlock? Yeah, what would you expect? Oh, well, you know, I think it's probably a beaver. Oh, yeah. Yeah? It's a beaver. Probably the biggest beaver tale I've ever seen.

It's the biggest beaver tail you ever seen. Yeah. Straight out of the seven years. Non-diogetically. Oh, God. She's dressed like Morrigan from Darkstalkers. Yeah, accurately. And the wings are a little bent.

Some of the paints rubbed off. Yeah. Yeah. And for whatever reason, there is, there's a couple, there's like marks if there was like a glass cup that was put down next to it and you can't really tell with the dust.

You're not really sure. And you feel like this was his favorite figure in this. Guys, I think I found the piece de resistance. I think I found the favorite figurine. It might be the key. It might unlock something. But there was very clearly

some kind of jaw or some kind of receptacle next to it that is missing somehow. So if we can find that, is inside of it. I think we could unlock this. What are you doing? Booker, what are you doing? Click.

I'm trying to get the paid membership. All of the answers are behind. I'm all my 46th coin. Hold on. 47. 48. 48. 49.

49. 50. 50. Do you. Do you. Do you. Do you. Unlock.

Give me the answer. Hey, four of these coins came out. came out in the return bin. Son of a bitch. John Clark, grab him. Oh, God, I got him right here. Pass them up. I probably put them in two quick.

Oh, fuck. I'll go. No, no, no, I got it. I got it. I got it. It's fine. I got more here. I'll go slower.

46. It takes it over 10 minutes. As you do that, you finally, you can get a green light where you have enough to activate membership. You see a large button that says, Activate membership. I click on it immediately.

Click it. It says, enter username. Well, I wasn't ready for... Booker T. Raccoon. Enter. It says, enter password. I can't believe that wasn't taken. Okay. Password.

Hey, John Luke. John Claude, I'm sorry. This is a high stress situation. What should my password be? Well, have you... Try a password? Well, I read somewhere that's not safe. Well, I think it kind of doubles back on itself.

It's become so known that it's unsafe, then nobody checks it. Okay. P-A-S-W. Make sure you put a number in there. Oh, shit. P-4-S-S-W. Oh, did you remember to capitalize the letter? Oh, capital, P-4-S-W.

Make sure you put some kind of like a symbol or something. What, what do you mean a symbol? What kind of symbol? Not like an exclamation point, or quotation mark or something. It's saying they don't take exclamation points. It's not one of the special symbols. Okay, well then pick a different one.

Like a dash or a backs. How about this little star? Okay, capital P, four, S, S, W, R, D, star, enter. Did you put a number? Yeah, the A, I turned it into a four. I was very clever. Pazard must be 10 characters. I didn't totally clear it.

Yeah! Okay, alright, uh, capital P, four, and it cleared the username. 100%. Oh, damn it. What did I do? B, O, K, E, R, A, C, N. Now I say my username's not right.

Oh, does it say it's already in use? Ah! It's already in our case. It's one of those were it. But it failed the past, oh, fuck. Just take out the T. Book of Recru. Okay, Baccoon, enter. Can not use a password you used before.

Okay, here we go. New account, new password. 10, P, 4, S, W, O, D, D, star, star, enter. Enter, enter password again for security. Okay, all right, okay. K, 4 S, S, S, W, W, No, R D-STAR. Enter.

Passwords do not match. No! You can't copy, paste. I mean, just copy-paste it from the first field. Would you see the little I symbol? Can you click on the eye symbol? No, I don't see it. There's no eye symbol.

There's no eye symbol. You designed this? Let me retype it. Okay, and I retype the first word, and then I attempt you copy and paste it into the second field. You do that. To make sure they match.

It finally works. Yes! and then it says, enter your email address. Email? You've never heard of this before. What? It's a confounding thing. Sean, Claude, what's email?

What? Like eagle mail, probably? Eagle mail? I don't even know what Eagle mail. I don't even know what Eagle mail. I don't know the real big cities and stuff. The Eagles send letters all over the place. They're super fast.

I've never even seen an eagle in the dim wood. Maybe it's some kind of wolf thing? Grumbley, you know about it? Anybody know what email is? Why goes down? I think he's dead. No, he's just passed out. He doesn't the secret to the feeding feel cool.

You hear a little, and you smell rich cinnamon as he's like dribbling. It's the shoot-up sin and twisters are coming back. What's taking so long, Booker? I don't know what email is. It's asking for email. Your stuff, blah, feel cool. Just type in whatever, I don't know. Okay, all right, whatever.

Enter. Uh, must be a legitimate email. Does it tell me anything what that even means? Look for sticky notes on the monitor. Maybe he's one of those own people that writes his email on there. I try to look for anything that might represent or tell me what an email is. No, actually, I go back to Google and I say, what is email? No Reddit real answer.

Yeah. You see Quag up. The best way to play on a baby shower. I have two tabs on. I have two tabs on. I'm moving now. Oh, I don't want that. What's an email?

Is, uh, uh, I've been a baby shower. I've been accused of heinous of high treason. How do I find a lawyer? High treason. You find all sorts of things. And you see that a stick, there is a sticky note on the computer. And it says top number one Renfield fan, forever XX OO. I type all of that in.

At at snail mail. Snailmail.com, enter. Enter. And it takes it. Yes! And then it says, and then it says, a new login detected, check push notification security. Push notification! I am learning so many new words today.

What's a push notification? Peggy, in your hand, your figure that you're holding buzzes. Oh God, it's vibrating. The beaver bosom of Morgon from Darkson Stalkers lights up. Whoa, all right, well, that explains the paint. This is, I'll push the nipple.

It pushes in, and suddenly you get a confirmation set. We're in! I knew this thing was gonna be worth something. And you finally log in, you go to the page, and you see, yeah, I act, hey, Quaka, I summons your cool, in order to have a family reunion, and they write the longest, most obnoxious blog posts

of their entire life. There's no punctuation. It is all of a long text. Who wrote a novel like this? And at the very bottom, it says, oh, anyway, I got rid of him by summoning another demon and having a cool, cool fucking demon kaiju fight.

Son of a bitch. Thanks, Quak. Guys, they all says is we need another demon. We got to fight demons with demons. We have to fight demons with demons? Yeah. I've got like a... demon-winged be the thing in my hands,

maybe we could summon this thing. Keep it with us. It might be coming in handy. I mean, I could imagine if I were a demon and I saw this summon in front of me, my designs of death and destruction, I would go away and all I would be thinking about were the boobies.

Yeah? The what? The beba boobies, look. He's fucking dead. No, is. I climbed down. Anyone see? How's why I go doing?

He's passed down. He's passed down. He's making. some noise. He doesn't seem to be quite dead yet. Every time I say he's passed out, he comes back. That's called a death rattle. Oh, this is the end. No, I healed him. You're going to be okay, Wigor.

Why don't we try this? Hey, Wigor, I'm touching your boss's favorite of figurine. Yeah, no, he's gone. I think he's done. I think he's dead. He might be gone. He was going to tell us the secrets of defeating Seer Cool. Oh, we figured it out. Well, we figured it out. Oh, the secrets to defeat Sircuhul. The only way to defeat a demon is with another the demon in a cool, cool, fucking guide you demon.

Oh, shit. Thanks a lot. We already figured that out. I had to spend 50 goddamn gold pieces to figure that out. Can't you get the gold back out of that thing? No, I think it's gone forever. I don't feel so good. We're going to have to carry you. You're a ninth level of not here to Aquilag.

Can you summon that? That's right. You know, before you did that whole thing about repeating the rockadoodle thing, which was lovely, by the way, and I absolutely loved every moment of it. I was already cooking up a way out of here, and it involved Knight here. Way up.

Wow! Wait, is Knight here a demon? You know, I'm not entirely sure, but the way people talk about it, I'm getting the feeling that he's up to some spooky stuff. So, I mean, what else is it to move but try? Why don't you, why don't you try for, why don't you search that thing for how to summon a demon?

I was gonna just give her the rest of my gold and offer up some sort of offering. But that's why I was asking Doug about the waterway. because I feel like we're gonna be close to the under underneath the rivers to be close enough to night here to draw him underground from deep deep within the seas and the lakes maybe like a bucket of water will work or like a pot of I call this guy well was you know me he rest in peace was really rich so he probably has an indoor swimming pool that might do it oh oh oh we just got to get some of the swimming pool water close to where whatever this Seer Cool Joker is. And then we'll take care of him. Night here, I'll pop him right in the jaw. You think we might need a sacrifice?

Or is that how these things kind of goes? I mean, maybe you just take. Why, Gore? He's still kicking a little bit. If we get him there fast enough, if we could. Yeah, but if the sacrifice is already weakened, is it really a sacrifice? I was thinking, please don't listen.

I think we could kill the new guy. I don't, I don't, he's been really helpful. I don't want to just kill him. I mean, John Cawd's really been a good dude. What? He's helped us out a lot. What? What?

John? No, I don't want to fuck him. I want to kill him. Why, why? He's nice. You can. I'm not gonna stop you. No, I don't think anyone should kill him.

How do you kill someone in a murder mystery? Do you have to like say, tagged? And then they do this and they're out? Are you, I, wait. You think this is still a game? Yeah, I'm gonna- Is it not? No.

Do we believe this or don't we believe this? Because I'm riding the line. I'm not really convinced right now one way or another. There's a demon. downstairs and we're talking about summon another demon to defeat it while while Wygore bleeds out. Well, now that she says it like that, I'm pretty sure that it's not real. Wait, so we're going to have an actual demon-on-demon-demon-Cartu battle?

I mean, let's not go be so hasty about calling Nightier a demon. They've been nothing but good to me, all right? But I have a phobia of that. Nighter's going to save the day like they always do, all right? Well, I mean, you say Night Here's done nothing but good for you, but what really has night here done? If I had all the time in the world, Peggy, I would tell you. Night here will come to collect the souls that I've promised it.

And it's going to be a glorious day. Whoa. Why'd you promise souls to Knight Here? Because I really, really, really hate John Luke, and I really, really, really hate Nestor, and all the perverts in the Hollywood mansion, they all got to go. And Big Ned, I don't remember if I, if I, I think I threw his name. Oh, no, we hate that guy. We hate that guy.

Yeah, we just wish death upon Big Man. I might have. I don't remember. It's been a while. Yeah, and his brother. Did you throw in his brother for good men? I'll be promised them today. That'll get an old night here kicking, all right? That's someone I'd like to sacrifice.

Big Nail. But we gotta get going, that place is gonna, you know, murder mystery fake fall down on us any minute now. Cromley, can you carry Wigor? Yeah, we might need him and his blood. Are you okay, Mr. Wigour? If I carry you?

We can amputate his leg. No, it's fine, I said it. It's good. All right, let's go. I'll throw him over my chair. Oh, you broke his leg again. Let's go. We'll be sorry.

We're on the pool. We attempt to find a source of water deep within these caverns that might increase my connection to night here. Make a group perception check. Meanwhile, in the computer. The castle is rumbling. I need a D. Here, I'll just.

I'll just take this one. I did okay. Group check. Oh. I got a 16. 16? 15. Perception, you say? You said perception?

Oh, man. Yep. Are you sure? Yes. Mm. A natural 20. Oh, wow. That'll be 23.

Four. I think it's a 14. Oh, you pretty well. Bitsy. Yeah. You're the only one that sees this as you hear the dulcet tones of it's five o'clock somewhere. in like a very bit crunched, Billy Bass sort of way,

coming from the Margaritaville machine in the kitchen. As you hear the rumbling and the voice, it seems to be louder from that from the kitchen. As you look and you see that the fireplace, as you peer in, is raging with a teal, an aqua-colored flame, then a burst with a flash of indigo and magenta and yellow. indigo magenta yellow as along with the strange blue-green flame,

as you hear the voice. And you hear that as you smell something strange. It's the unmistakable stench of chlorine. And you find another forbidden door. Guys, follow me. As you're able to guide your friends to honestly a very well up-kept tiled, luxurious indoor swimming pool

with the bubbling jacuzzi. It's just nice. There's actually a towel service. Oh. Thank you, I'll take one. I think we'd scrap the whole summoning thing. We just enjoy a nice pool site. No, we're gonna die.

While so you keep this in the forbids? We gotta move fast. We gotta summon night here. So that I can scoop up some of the pool water. Oh, you find like, yeah, absolutely. You find a bucket, a mop. You find pool cleaning supplies. You find a bucket of pit.

I grab an empty bucket, I run to the edge of the pool, and I try to scoop up some of the chlorinated water, and I looked at the rest of the gang. We gotta find Seale. Oh, we're not gonna summon him right here? No, no, they gotta fight each other right and like face to face! Oh, all right, all right.

Should we maybe just leave Weigal here? No, we're probably gonna need him as a sacrifice. He might know the next steps of the ritual. Okay. And my shoulders just kinda hurt. Just be careful with his leg, you're breaking it. You're breaking his shimmoor. Stop!

Stop moving it around. Stop. I'm sorry. Stop, that's gross. Oh, the pain. The pain is worse than being rejected by a honey on the street. We are, I try to help the group recall what we know about where Sir Kool is residing. And we know it's like deep below the castle. Yeah.

And see, it feels like it was in the kitchen. I think it's in the kitchen. Are you here? We're running out of time. We've been shoved. Lead the way. We must have way away. It's that margarita machine or the cauldron.

Come on, follow me. Come on, follow me. I race forward. I'm carrying the bucket the best of my ability. Try not to spill the water. You make your way to the kitchen and you see the flame is rising as you see the strange shape start to take form in the flames. as it has almost, it almost reminds you of the master

of this castle with these large pointed ears and a long pointed snout as it looms up. There are no wings to this thing as it started to rock across here, fool, or lairca, as the bells are ringing from the strange cathedral, perhaps a cathedral to Circul that where the dead once rose and once reigned in this castle, but the bells are now ringing,

and gonging as you see the strange shape billowing up and the flame is bursting up. You look now and all of the stone from the fireplace of this oven has crumbled away and there's, and it seems to go deep and deep and deep into the bowels of this castle as the strange shape is taking place, us taking form in the fire.

All right, do it, do it, do it. This is it, and I put the bucket down and I reach into my pocket and I pull out what looks like a makeshift wallet, and I open up the makeshift wallet. just wallet and I pull out my knight here, level nine, like, Acolyte Car. And I flip over the back and I look for instructions

on how to summon night here. And I begin to follow the instructions. And so I take out the pouch of gold. I drop all 47 remaining gold coins into the bucket. And as I look and I read, okay, what's that one? And this is a sacrifice, the thing. Okay, done, check.

Two, okay? All right, Brumley. If this starts to go awry and things aren't looking good, I might need you to slit his throat and drain his blood into the bucket. Okay. We're not going to tie. We don't have to have much blood left. Well, we're going to have to get it.

We might have to wring them out a little bit, all right? Squeeze him like a juicer. If we need to get the juicer and just really go to town on him, all right? Okay, here we go. Deedicopolis, I cool. Why, why, sure, shut up, I'm trying to read. Okay, step to read. There's a bucket of water.

Okay, just please, I'm trying to concentrate. Okay, step four, here we go. I think I just have to say the thing. Night here, Rely, Rely, Fetong, Gagnaglion, Night here! And you, the bucket starts to thrash and bubble, and you hear a voice from a hand. Yes! Sacrifice,

as the waters starts to churn, as you hear a burst of rage, erupt from the fires below as the shape is taking place and it's starting to solidifies you see these wild eyes of hatred and gnashing as you almost hear a a howling or barking like the hounds of hell are coming out of the flames of Seer-cool as the flames shift to this indigo purple to this magenta and with accents of this yellow gold and it all shaped back and forth as the summoning of your school seems to be loathing the invocation of Knight here.

Hey, Knight here, it's a boy, Booker. I'm so glad you can make it. I hate to call on you like this out of nowhere all of a sudden. Look, I know I promised you those other souls, I'm going to get you those to make good on those, but for now I want to let you know I'm going to throw in Big Ned and his brother, because we don't like those guys. You can keep all 47 gold pieces. Those are yours, don't want, they've got more coming your way. And if you need a little extra juice, We got Wigo here. We're gonna ring them out like an old rag right over the bucket, all right?

What kind of sacrifice do you need? Oh, sacrifice. Am I able to understand what he's saying at all? Make an intelligent check. Nice. Oh. Nice. Very good.

I also mean all the things that I said, I'm promising. That's pretty good. I got an 18. 18. You get the sense that it matters not what it is. sacrifice as long as the price is heavy and grave. Oh, man. I- The price has to be heavy and grave. All right, what do you mean is your time?

I pull that knife out. Whoa, very sharp. Grumly, settle down. I'm ready to do this. No, what are you gonna do? You don't need to. I already gave him 47 goal piece. I promised him two more souls,

and we got old Waico here's backup. That's what I mean. I'm ready to spill blood. I thought you were gonna hurt yourself. If you want to take it on all the White. No, no, no, no. I'll say, you know, Spare my most prize position.

No, no, look, we're gonna do a callback to early prime. Just start cutting off his fingers. All right, well, just, I need privacy to richly sacrifice. That's fine, wait, wait, I don't know if he's gonna count. He has to be heavy and crave. Do any of us care about why gore? He needs to count. Turn away, turn away, any promise.

Nobody got. Nobody put him. Yeah, let him make something tall and strong. I don't know if this is going to work. Make it to a hurricane before I'm. Michael would see. Oh, he's got a point. I mean, should we give him one last margarita?

It is my most prized. I looked for a vessel to spill the blood in. And I find like just a dirty glass and pick it up. It has like a salt rim. All right. I'm sorry. One hot blooded margarita coming up for Nike. As he passes, tell him that his tipeachio has been approved.

And I looked down and I put the cup down by his throat and I'm about to, I'm like this. He's like getting into it. There's like green plague. leg. It sounds like twisters. And then I'm like, it's a twisters. And then I look at the counter and I, like, okay, blood. All right, blood, blood. Blood.

And then my eyes crossed the blood oranges. And I like, I grab a blood orange and I cut it in half and I squeeze it into the glass. All right, it's taking so long, but I'm like, come on, buddy. Oh, oh, it's done. Oh, I'm sorry, Wangel. Oh, no. Oh, you're blood. So juicy.

Oh, the pain I'm stepping out a pop top. Oh! It is done. How I got here, I have it a clue. He's still talking. He's got a Constitution score. Do you want to do the honors? A glass of frothy blood.

Yeah, do you want me to do it? Oh, no. You got it? I spilled the blood. I should swing the sword. All right. Just go give it tonight here. Just pour it right in.

You're welcome. All that good stuff. Night here. This is in the name of my best friend. and Booker, I'm not in any way pledging myself, grumly teapugged in your service. This is just like a one time thing, and I pour the- I'm making the deception check out advantage.

I'm gonna twist this if it's bad. I'm gonna twist it. You can keep twist it. The bells ring, gong, gong, as they are reing repeatedly. Yeah, give me a difference D20. I'm gonna use another twist because we have it. Fuck it.

I'm gonna use another twist, fuck it. There's also another one right there too. I'm gonna use another twist, fuck right. Oh, God. Pick a lucky one this time. That's four fives. Oh! Your twist matter here, folks.

There we go. Twin, well done. Oh. That is exactly what you needed. As you hear the the look-out-outher-cool and then suddenly the blood orange speels in it and the water turns to this deep, reddish-orange collins.

as it froths and slops and rages like an ocean, as you see a strange fish-like head emerge and take shape. There he is. See, I told you guys I saw fish people. A hand made out of this fiendish-looking water grabs the bucket and grabs the other side of the bucket and then emerges as you hear the raging fire and then in the flame you feel

Finally see Seer Cool take shape. Ah, man, I really wish the count with you. I'd be telling him that my demon can beat up his demon any day. I don't feel right. As you see as this fish creature leaps out, the flames consolidate, you hear the bell, as then suddenly this strange hellhound-like creature, surprisingly small, only about as big as the flame in the fireplace.

Stubby legs, large head, A fiendish, you would recognize, it almost looks like the chihuahua folk that you know, but this fiendish hell-hound chihuahua who leaps out of the flames and let them, blah, blah, shit, come, as immediately you see the fish head just go, and eats.

So you're cool. Gotcha, bitch! Look at that. Easy as one, two, three. Wow. Oh. I can't believe we just watched the demon battle. It's easy.

So does this mean? As the fish slithers back and slides and puts out the flame in the fireplace and seeps down its strange, a blood-orange icor into the bowels of the castle. So does this mean that we won the murder mystery? I don't know. I feel like we'll win us. There was no murder mystery. I can't believe that work That was pretty crazy

I can't believe you have the power to summon a demon and Grumley's killed a guy I'm gonna be honest I didn't think that was gonna really work I wasn't really sure I was just reading the back of the card You know what they better bump me up from like 9 to at least 12

That's gotta be several levels of a conference man Haven't summoned them Well I mean are you sure that your level doesn't go down Like you're not using some of your levels to summon him You know I'm not sure Back over a level one It's very unclear Very unclear.

I need to make a confession. Okay. I didn't actually kill Wigel. Oh, really? I didn't spill blood. I spilled blood orange juice. Well, but he took it. He mean it worked?

He believed it. I'm sure the intent was there. I'm sure the blood in the name really helped. Neither didn't seem to mind and slow him down at all. Um, Wigel, are you still okay? Oh, I like mine with a little set to me too. Oh, he probably took a pretty serious head wound. He's not making...

He's not making any sense. I can try healing him up again. I got a magic touch. Well, looks like his leg popped out again, so... Yeah, it's weird. It's sort of swinging around. It's gross. Loose.

Sorry I was about to spill your life blood. Well, maybe he took something else. If he didn't take the blood. What else could he have taken? Blood Orange and all the coins I put in there and I promise two more souls. Oh, bring me to my Margaritville machine. Where do we go to get the prize?

Why go to the prize? We won the, where's the prize? It's gonna be okay. Here it is, your machine's right here. It's right there. And look and it's gone. Oh, oh. Now I get it.

Nightinger probably took it. That was it. That was so sacrifice. You made a margarita for him out of blood orange and he probably thought it was so good because you're so good at that that he took the machine with him. He couldn't have just one.

Do you know how expensive these things are? This one makes ice. I mean, look, it all worked out. No. It was a fair trade, Wygoy, no, my years of wages. I love that. We lived.

The threat's gone, though. The master. And even see a cool to whom I've fed. my blood? They're all gone. Perhaps. I hope it wasn't my plague's blood

that made him so weak. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you trying to tell me that, like, a plague exists? It's like enough to weaken a god. I mean, the gods, right? The demons. They should be able to shrug off plague, no problem.

My plague is a little bit of a unique one. Oh, okay. Oh, yes, the great demon lord, the grandfather, the plague, I carry it for you. I don't like the way his eyes are going different directions. He really looks like, looking rough. I don't know.

Well, maybe with all of this castle that you could inherit, I guess, because no one else is around, you have plenty of gold to, you know, mail order from a catalog. Another Margaritaville machine. It's the master's good. Well, I mean, if he's gone, though, right? Someone has to inherit it. Did his will say?

You're kind of fun employed right now, and, you know, you can get all. all the PTO and gold you want. Right, you loved your master, right? Like you valued him a lot, or at least. Oh, oh dear Tuppens. I loved him like a brother-in-law. Indeed.

Okay. He was just a child. Well, I was more talking about Count Morlock. Oh, Count Morlock. I loved him like an employer who hosts Pretty Okay Holiday Party. You would want his legacy to live on, right? His legacy?

Yeah. And who better to run the castle and tell the stories of Count Mollock and keep his legacy alive than you? Further, my pact, with the demon lord. What? What? And ascend to immortality.

What? He command the dead. Oh, you could just totally take his place. If you have your own cool version of Seekul and you could be your own cool version of the count. You could be Count Weigel. Count Weigel. It's got a pretty good ring to it.

I don't have the noble blood. How could I be a count? Well, you have plagued blood. Yeah, you've played blood. That's basically the same thing. It's pretty unique, you said. You said to yourself, it's unique. Who else has it?

Little old Weigel. With a broken leg. With a broken leg. Oh yeah, just one minute. I set his shin back into place. He gets eight points of healing. It's going to be all right. Just don't step on it ever again.

Ever again? No, it'll have wings, right? Wait, no, you're a rat. Oh, don't they do you have wings like the master? You could grow wings, maybe your plague wings. I could grow wings? Yeah. Such a thing as possible?

You know what they say rat plague gives you wings? Gives you wings. I've never heard such a thing. I've had a rat plague for many a year. Ken, maybe if you pray to your grandfather, God, maybe he can give you, like, gross fly wings or something. Or potentially one of those chairs that attaches to the wall. Just take you from room to room.

Oh, that's nice on view. Well, that's that. With all the gold you've got now, that should be easy to install. The wings might be hard, but the chairs probably doable. Or disgustingly small, like, flappy, leathery wings like Wado from episode one. Water. Water. Very wise.

Republic credits are not good here either. We don't take any Republic-backed fiat girls. Well, you know, guys, I think we did some real good here. We did. Looker, really, at the end of the day, you were the protagonist the whole time. No, I know.

I was just glad to help save the day. You know, I just helped. We all helped. We couldn't have done it. But you're basically like the main character. I don't know about that. You're proving it every day, bro. Wow, that's kind of you're saying.

You're sort of the leader of the group. No. You sort of do like the main thing at the end, you know. Oh, stop. My life for, you know, Knight Here and all that. That's all. That's all my life for Night Here. No, I mean, just like a magical girl, you know, like.

Night here's kind of like your version of Cuba. You know what I mean? You think that I'm going to, like, turn into, gets, like, cool clothes and win the day. I really love Cuba. Well, I'll just maybe think you'll slow. You'll slowly ascend in power, but then at the end there will be a miserable and repressive

postmodern finale where now here is the true villain and you've lost your soul and your identity. Well, if that happens, you know, it's about the friends we make along the way. You're right, Booker. It is. It is. What? Oh, oh, you're still there.

Okay. Did you decide you're gonna take over the castle or what's God on here? I don't know, I'm still mulling it over. Surely this won't go to his head. Can we have some gold? I don't want any gold for myself, but I'll... Booker, you saved the day.

I think we should get some gold for his banjo so he can buy a new banjo. I would love to be able to buy a new banjo. I would love to get back the 97 gold pieces that I spent to, you know, unlock that stupid email account. And then, you know, the 47 that I had to give to an idea. It's a lot of money. We owe John... Lawyerly fees and whatnot. Yeah, and Bitsies mended your leg twice.

now and you know the docked bills are very expensive. You have insurance, right? Oh, I do, but, oh no. Oh, your employment was terminated, wasn't it? Oh, you know what a lapsing. May I'm still covered, let me call my H.E. To the Renfield phone. No, you're not supposed to put any pressure out of it.

You broke it again. Oh, there's definitely some sort of a cobra joke. Oh, shit. Oh, hold on. I'll spend another fucking Focus point. Oh, I need to call my insurance. It's just a cobra.

It was actually just a cobra on the other end of the line. I'll pick him up and carry him on the Redfield phone. Oh, yes. Five. One. One. I don't have it.

I don't have it. Person. Person. Person, operator. I don't. Agent, real person. I don't have it. Say human.

Operator. Too real. Operator. If you swear fast, who gets rude. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, I try again. I don't have it.

I don't have it. Say front desk, oh front desk, and then say no. No. Huh? Say custom service representative. No, I don't want your hours of operation. I don't have it. You are 73rd in line.

Yes. Well, Mama told me. Let me try it. When I was here. Hold on. That's very much. Okay, let's try too. Let's try too.

Say customer service representative. That'll be right there. Customer service representative. Kind of slaps. Oh, this is now. Oh, don't worry. I'm number 75 in line. You got backwards.

We can wait. We can wait. Sometimes they have options where they'll call you back when your time and line comes up. They never call back. Not really? An hour passes. Oh, I'm next in line.

I need to reset your leg. Oh, just randomly disconnect. I reset his leg is like a third time. He gets a . Oh! Oh, okay, operator, oh, yes. I'm going to put me on a list. I'm a threat, I'm a threat.

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I'm first in line. Now we're talking. Oh, hello, Mr. Cooper. I seem to have snapped my leg in two. And my employer was just recently killed in a horrible rockadoodle accident. Yeah, ask if they cover that.

Can they cover rockadoodle accidents? Oh, oh, do you cover rockadoodle accidents? They say no. about how you broke your legs. Specifically, acts of rockadoodle. Oh, acts of rockadoodle. Make sure you lie if they tell you know you lie. Oh, does that mean drowning in a flood

on account of the court of owls? That doesn't sound like the same. In this case, yes. Oh, in this case, yes. Oh, was my master, his only weakness was that he had to be buried in the grave dirt which he was literally buried in before the first clock cock froze. Otherwise, he will explode into ash. They ask this every time.

What should he say? I don't know, that's a very existing condition if you ask me. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, in this case, no. No, I seem to have to snap my leg. Oh, no, it's in twain. In twain, I say, to shreds, I say. Disrex.

Oh, why does it matter how old I am? I fail to see how that actually answer. Don't answer that. Don't answer that. They're not allowed to legally ask that information. I assure you, I'm quite old. No, no, you're messing it up, man. Lie!

Oh, I mean, I'm on spring break, bro. There we go. Good, good, good, good. I've got in. You're in lost purpose. I'm in last purpose, bro. We're gonna go watch the pirate ship thing. I don't think he believes me. Well, you know, they probably have your date of birth on file

if they're your insurance company. Oh, no, I assure you, I'm only several centuries old. Wow. Wait for the broken leg that you'll cover it. If you're a thousand years, old. Bad's so sad, Mr. Coop.

Well, how much would it cost if I just paid out of pocket? Uh-oh, here we go. He's going to have a heart attack now. Oh, no. What happened? What did they say? What's the final word there? Why go on?

I am going to try to give those fly wings. Oh, gosh. This podcast is brought to you by our podcast. Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over saltmarsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies,

a tarot deck, and more. Why Gore is dejected and he's grumbling about what he's going to do. Well, this has been great, but I would like to see the sun again, and I'm a bit sick of being on a ground. So I think we're going to get going, right, and you can just tell us how to get back surfacide. And we're the gold is. Right after you finish paying Bitsy for the three operations she performed. Yeah. The gold.

Out of pocket. Out of pocket. The attorney's fees, the not killing you, the prize money. The account did have me look at those contracts. All I have is the deed for the homies closing on paid for in advance. Nothing of value. I mean. Oh, I think we would take that.

We'll take that. Yeah, exactly right. We'll call that even. The what? Even? Yeah. Just simply a deed, a piece of paper paid for advance. Yeah.

Get off scoff, Scott, free. You too? How's everybody know this Scott guy? Scott keeps coming up. He's a bit of a jet settler. He's really popular in Las Purvis. Oh, I love his, I love his show. He's graved, gambling dead.

He's owned by the casinos there. I don't know if you knew that. Oh, anyways. Here you go, the deed. I always carry it with me. Yes, yes. Take a look at that. Oh, we never come.

Never got a chance to review the contract. It's paid for in advance, so it's fine. Oh, yeah. Well, we'll just pocket that and go check this place out, I guess. Can you point us in the direction on out of here, maybe even to this fancy new home? Let me just consult the map of the different. Richie. Oh.

Wow. I forgot we had that. Nope. It's somewhere here. Yeah. Oh. Kind of. You just add it for a minute, didn't it?

Yeah, it says hollow map right there. There it is. Oh. So, if we were to emerge out from underground following the directions of Wygore, where might we meet the surface? So we fell in the cavern under Nookington, but who knows where the fuck we are? Yeah. We ran, we've been carted. We think we're under the river, but we could have got anywhere.

Oh, well, I see here that the vacation home, I can't tell. Oh, you have it. I gave it to you. Oh, well, I think that there's a smudge on which clearing this vacation home is. Oh, yes, of course. Where is the vacation home? Where is it? And then a little boop, pooh, pooh.

And there's like a selection of the where, of the gym when Matt comes up. I was thinking it was, uh, I was thinking. He was like Dora the explore, he's turned to the fourth wall to ask the kids at home. That's basically what's happening. Where is the vacation home? Can you say sandwich? So where's a vacation home? Oh, we need to choose.

Mace gets to choose. I don't know anything about the things. Where's the... I mean, Drake Smith is right by the sea. That's kind of nice. That's not... Oh, it's side-shamed. That could be true.

What does it say? What does it say, Sean? New Felicia is probably filled with a lot of Gothic houses. That could be true, too. That's a little close to home, don't you think? I mean, I guess we could. Perhaps a vote is an order. What about a nice house in the mountains?

Well, where would the count be wanting? A vacation. That's a fair point. Like if we're sticking with like a town home, the new Felicia makes sense. If he truly wanted to live his Margaritaville life, it's 100% Drake Smith. And then it's gotta be Drake's.

Party like it's 2003. Drake Smith it is. I think it's Drake Smith. Oh, right here it says of course. Of course, of course it says Drake Smith. Oh yes, of course. The seaside. Seaside property.

A little seaside property. Private Beach Access. He's always wanting to infect ports with plague. He says that's the best place to start. The voyage of the Demeterl. You know, Wai, you say a lot of things I just don't understand. Well, I spend much time staring at the master's glowing magic box.

Yeah, well, it's going to be really great when we don't have to talk to each other anymore. You know, I've always heard Drake Smith is very nice, or if root-r-r-pg campaign is canon, remember that time we went to the lighthouse with that crazy owl that thought he was a cat? Yeah, that shit was insane. And then there was a lizard cult under the lighthouse.

It was anything but nice. It was wild. Well, maybe we're going to have more fun adventures like that one. I hope so. I suppose this is goodbye. I suppose so. How do we get out of here? Remember, stay off that leg.

Yeah, don't walk on it ever, ever again. I suppose I could consult the necropolis library. For what? For what? What are the forbidden tones? Yeah, well... That sounds like stuff Peggy would need to... I didn't hope.

Feed upon the high core and ascend to create demonic power. Oh, that sounds more like a you thing. I don't think. I don't think we meant sand to the surface. I don't think we mean. Oh, after I. Oh, it means a sand to demonic towel.

After I sent to last purpose. I'll say, I'll say, dang it. Well, perhaps, I mean, if you're going to the surface, I suppose I could begin my vacation to last purpose. You're supposed to stay off your leg. Yeah. Maybe you could do the whole wing ritual now. so that, you know, you can get around easier while your leg heals.

And you also have to, you know, centralize your power here underground. Well, I suppose you could have one more night's stay. Yeah. Surely there's no problem. Surely the lawyer won't be visited by another spirit. Oh, I was doing that. Yeah, okay. You've been through a lot today.

It doesn't have much vitamin B. I've had very pleasant sleep. I'm not going to sleep with everybody else. I've heard some bitching dreams. I gotta be honest with you, Grumley. I would love to stay, but I just, I know that when I go to bed tonight, the clock strikes the hour of the wolf.

It just, Doug's not gonna be there. And I don't know if I can handle that. When the clock strikes the hour of the wolf, I'm gonna be in a waking dream, living my best life, slaying some spiders and monsters, with me, other best mate, Nameless Huntsmaster Jim. I don't... We go way back.

I don't want to deny you that. So if it means a Douglas Knight for me, then I can take one for you. What is his name Douglas? No, no, like lacking in Doug. Doug less. Oh, like there is less Doug around now. Right. One whole fewer Doug.

Yeah. Oh, I'm very sorry for your loss, Booker. You know, I don't. I don't know if I'll ever quite heal all the way. There will always be a bone-shaped hole in me, where Doug used to be. I just don't think that that'll ever heal, you know? You're right.

That's why I always visited you in the bath. Well, I'm once in my bedroom. And then we walked in on his poker game. I'll never forget that. Oh, Doug is always poking. Poker, poker. They were playing cards. Yes. Anyway, I'm okay to stay if you guys are.

I really don't want to stay another night. I don't get any sleep, not because the vampire was trying to come in and make me his wife, but because this guy's screwing someone all night long here. No, all of the bad energy's gone, though. You think? The count's gone. So all that weird stuff that happened, it's probably done.

What kind of bad energy makes you have wild sex dreams about your brother? They're not sex dreams about my brother, all right? He's doing something terrible haunting curse on me. He's definitely doing something terrible. And this guy's talking about ascending to demonic lords and getting small bat wings and probably won't work. And maybe a chair installed. This is definitely going to throw off a night-town dreams.

But perhaps my leg will be recovered. No, insurance required. No, that's not going to happen. Well, except the Dean Lord isn't that powerful. Your leg is like a crushed candy cane and it's still in the wrapper, it's bad. Just splinters. What a visual.

That's like loose meat. A what? A crushed candy cane. A what? A crushed candy cane. Candy cane. Yeah, and the surface we have these canes made of candy, but they shatter real fast into little splinters like your leg.

It sounds like you're describing a more different to Cina Twister. It's kind of like a Cynetwist. Speaking of sin a twist, how long has it been since the feast? Why? Why? We're not on time. Uh-oh. Oh no. All of our sex.

There's a collective storm. Oh, there's going to be a super emergency. The belled lightongs. Okay, I was wrong. I think we might need to stay. Yeah, we definitely need to stay. I don't know how to take this fuck out. How I take this fucking thing off. This is an emergency.

Oh, what I'm okay? Oh, shit. It's like, good to my body. It's like, good to my body. You have the worst bathroom emergency. I'm gonna shit my dress. I'm gonna shit my dress. I'm gonna shit my dress.

I run into the bathroom. This is gonna hurt. You do this. You do this. And then as you return, you hear Wigor rooting around in the master's vault. And he says, oh, surely he left this grand subterranean castle. To me, his most loyal servant. Uh-oh.

Crazy style. Crazy fraud. 1993, 2003. 2003. Gary the two. the two. He's betrothed. To all to his wife. Well, what if he never got married? It says betrothed. Oh. Oh. Gosh, he should have put a ring on it. If he liked it, he would have put a ring on it. That's what they always say. Uh-oh. Did you say that? Yeah. Wait, so does that mean Peggy gets it or not? I believe it does. No, God. Am I an ex-wife now?

That was quick. Gosh, I don't envy you to have to pay the best. property taxes on this. Yeah, taxes. Here you go. This is the only proof that this belongs to me? Oh, well, I'm sure there might be copies in the forbidden library. Okay, well, hold on, hold on, hold on.

The forbidden library is part of this mansion? Yes, yes, yes. So the forbidden library belongs to me now. Oh, assuredly, yes. According to that document and that document alone. And according to the fine text here, you also belong to me. Oh dear. Does my employment hold over? Oh, there's a little note here saying that you submitted an application for some vacation time?

Oh, yes. I have a trip planned and lost purpose. Well, you know, depending on how well you treat us over the next couple of days, I may or may not decide to approve this. Oh, please, oh please. Are you saying that you bought tickets to a trip without clearing it with your employer first? That really doesn't look good on you. Oh, this was submitted seven months late, you know. Oh, I slipped my mind.

You know how the days along with the years are short. You know, I'm not really a huge fan of excuses. Oh, I already have tickets to ten in Bella. Oh, wow. Those are non-refundable. Oh, I know, I know. Oh. If you can show us to the Countess's suite, please.

I think we all have some universal shitting to do, and then we'll figure out how we're going to handle this in the morning. Oh, yes, yes, mistress. Yes, of course. Hopal along. Don't walk on that leg. Oh! Oh, I must get my bucket of pitch for your fire. If only I kept it in a more convenient location than the pitch cellar.

Got many fights of stings. The moose stairs. You're never going to make it. It's all ladders. Oh. It's all ladders. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. All right. Well, I'm going to go back to my quarters. And I'm going to lay down and think about what happened these past Giles. We also have the communal. If you're gonna, I'm good.

I'm just gonna go think about my life. I'll take one of those, you know. I'm not beneath that. I'm gonna go lay down. I'll see you guys. I wonder if the coachman is still alive. Was he dead? What have happened to that guy?

Oh. Unclean. Very unclear. Probably if he is in service of the mistress, will probably take you wherever he needs to, you need to go. Oh. Back to the surface.

I mean, this sounds like it's pretty great, actually. Only the coachman knows these tons. Otherwise, you get lost for a rest. Well, on your way down to the pitch sellers, once you've gone down all 25 ladders to get there, can you make your way back up towards the stables and find the stable rider, the carriage, whatever his name is, and have him come see me in the Countess's Keep.

And we'll discuss. Yes. I'm going to go to the community. He makes me nervous. The communal shudder. I'll see you guys. later. Why are you asking for permission? I'm not sure about.

I'm going to lay down. I'll see you around, all right? If you guys want to come talk about what we're doing, I'll be in the Countess's Tower. I'll come. I'll be in the Countess's Tower. I'll come. I need to get changed and then I'll be right there. We can hang out.

I have some communal shitting to do. You just said that there was one, not where it was. Oh, it's over there. I stamp her off to the It's over there. The directions are you. Just look for a trough, man. He hobbles off to get pitch.

You arrive at a very robust, albeit dusty. Everything here looks like it's all white curtains, white sheets. Everything is white, it's covered in dust. And everything moves as the wind whips through in a... In a very spooky fashion. It looks like there are ghosts here. And there's almost, as the wind whips through,

you almost hear faintly, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And the wind makes that noise eternally. It actually gets a little annoying after the first couple minutes. I think most people would find this annoying, but there's something about it I really like. Yeah, it's kind of charming.

Oh, you came bit. Hello. Yeah, I thought I'd join you and see what this countess's room's all about. Yeah, I mean, it looks like it's filled with ghosts. There's a chilly wind, which kind of sucks, honestly. I'm not surprised about the ghosts.

That anybody else would hate but I find charming. Where's the music coming from? I have no idea. There's probably some kind of cricket outside just playing that song. Are there really ghosts? I thought the death no longer rained here.

Just because it doesn't rain here, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist here. She's no longer in control. Because I am now. So you reign here? Peggy reigns here. Well, as the creator of the universe, that makes sense. You're right.

Things are finally going back to the way they're supposed to be. Everything's coming up, Peggy. Everything's coming up, Peggy. And you know who my right-hand gal is, right? Who's that? Well, that's you, Bitsy. It is? Yeah, because if I ever get into trouble and I need someone to die

and never be heard from again, silently, of course. Who else am I going to call? Which one is that? Which one is what? Which one is the right hand? The hand on the right. So if you hold both of your hands up and you try and make an L, do you see which one makes an L? No, do this.

That's a fist. That's close. That's a gun. Elle. Oh, she got a gun? Yeah, so whichever one makes an L, that's a gun. your left hand because left starts with L. Got it. You're so smart. Thank you.

Thanks. Which hand do you use to wipe your ass? Both. Oh, so you're, you're amphibious. What? You're amphibious. It means you can use both of your hands at the same time equally. I can breathe underwater. I didn't realize that. That's pretty cool. I can?

Yeah, I guess so. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. Will my talents ever stop emerging? You can't prove you're like, beat in the tub, you'd be like, ooh! This conversation is dead. Um, as you make your way back, uh, probably you find a communal here.

And you find the remnants of some zombies and undead that was made taking a shit. I said there's not a single soul in the castle. Yeah. It's no longer communal. Yeah, it's no longer communal. It's death no longer rains here. You see, like, two zombies that are, like, one's holding a newspaper, and the other's, like,

holding a cup of coffee. I'll just, like, push one off. You know, and the shitters. I'll pick up the newspaper that he was holding, and, you know, just peruse the style section. Yeah, maybe there's a new museum opening. Oh, yeah. Check the obituaries.

Yeah, the obituaries. Yeah, the obitutes, you know, just see what's going on. Yeah, you read the obituaries. Yeah. Some of the obituaries are circled. That's fucking funny. I love that.

That is good. Yeah. That's good. I read the latest Redfield strip. Yeah, Redfield strip. It's not as funny as the Sherman's Lagoon. That's right. That's like the name.

It's just Sherman's Lagoon. Yeah, it's just Sherman's Lagoon. Does the guy understand that Renfield's talking? It's very unclear. Booker, as you make your way back to your room, you find a pile of bones. You that you know with money and also their body, it was kind of unclear. So unclear. You find their remains of duds and his friends.

Empty chairs and empty tables. Now my friends are dead and guys are dead and guys. Now my friends are dead and gone. I passed the poker table. Yeah, oh yeah. The poker table empty. There's a whole, there's a whole amiss montage way back to my room.

Yeah. And then I sit down on the edge of the bed and I think, well, these are a crazy few days. I can't wait to be Topside again. I don't know. Get back things to normal. How do we end up in this mess? What?

How could life be so cheap? I'll never know. I'll never understand. Goodbye, Doug. And I'll lay down. And then like, yeah. Like softly crying to my pillow.

No, not a single thought for your dad. No, yeah, no. I don't know. He had Beauregardizing crossed my mind in three days. Not one time. Jesus. Well, you hear a lot of screaming from Wygore. Is this echoing?

It's just echoing through the cast. John Claude, what do you do? Oh, I also. Yeah, what do you do? I also would go back to my room. Yeah. And I'd start to take my dinner, you know, dinner, finest off, you know, and did the cave, put it down, say to myself, you know, I mean, uh, eat

a pool, I'll say a, uh, why I go at a beck and call and a, and a Taco Bell that caterers. This place wouldn't be half bad to stay if my damn, no good flim-flaming, stupid, son of a bitch brother, uh, wasn't haunting me every now. This place wouldn't be half bad. And I hang up the costume, strip down, hang up the costume in the armour. And talk in for that, I guess. Okay.

You'd call it an early night. All of you, of course, had to step around the broken twisted body of Mr. Thomas. And I don't think twice about that guy. I don't even like, I don't even run any nice. He'd like walk up on his stand. He's like, We all think somebody should take care of that, but keep moving.

Yeah, or the next person to be. Yeah, surely someone will take care of that. Not my tough, it's not my problem. That's all I'm saying. You check in for the night, and you wait for yourself to be visited by the spirit of John Luke. Oh, I say not to not. And none ever come. No spirit comes. Perhaps it is true that death no longer reigns.

here? Or was it all your imagination? Is it strange that I'm kind of lonely tonight? I didn't realize until he was gone that I kind of missed it. You are sleeping, grumly shitting. I'll make it back to my back. You make it back to your knees. You can use your top of me. I don't think I was involved in that, you know. It's not my problem.

You're a little dehydrated. I'll probably get up a few times at the night, you know, as you do. Yeah. Yeah, of course. You, wait, both of you leave. As you linger, you hold the deed to this place, this place of great magic, Peggy. And there's something in your stomach that just rumbles,

and you're not sure if it's the, you're not sure if it's the, I'm not sure if it's the meal. Oh, God. Are you okay? Oh, yeah. And you hear this like, ah. Yeah, I just, I wish that weird cricket outside that was singing would stop making that strange demonic noise. It almost you start to hear a voice kind of.

Oh, no. Do you hear that? Oh, my God, it's in time with my digestive track. Oh, gosh. Oh, you know, when you have really. bad, oh God, when you have really bad diarrhea and your back starts hurting. Oh.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I do. I do. Right the middle of the back, right back here. Yeah. Bidze, can you rub it for me? Sure.

Oh, go. I really like, give the best massage I can, just trying to relieve the pain. It's just, it's in there, but it's not coming, you know? What do you mean? It's in there. Oh, you mean the adult? bell?

I'm sorry, what? The adult bell. I don't know what you do. The red, the red wax baby that's growing up inside of you. It's not growing up inside of me. What are you do? You okay? No, Bidsey, I look okay. I'm sweating for me.

I'm trying. I'm trying. Just hold on. It feels like it's leaking out of me, Bissy. Just hold her. Bidsey, put on the bed. Get on the bed. Hatter, Bitsy. I'm pushing.

I'm pushing. With the right, not the left hand, the right hand. That is my right hand. Not the other right hand. There only have one right hand. No, the scene in Nightmare Before Elm Street where the hands push out of the wall and That is exactly what happens. Is you see a horrific little implying creature?

My God, Bizzy, it's coming. Bizzy it's coming. I just try to guide her through the pain. I'm thinking about that rusty knife, you know. Make a Constitution saving throw, Peggy. Okay, yeah. It's gonna turn to episode one of the House of the Dragon real fast.

Oh no. Feed me the night here. Feed me to night here. Oh, okay. Constitution, you say. A nine. A nine. You vomit up.

The worst Taco Bell meal. as you see little red waxing hands leap out as it emerges out of your mouth. As it's going as this horrible homunculus that looks identical to crazy frog. But made out of red wavy well wax. A leaps out and starts screaming and as it's waving its arms around as it's Running around. You mean like this? The second.

Oh, exactly right. Yeah, exactly right. The second I see this creature emerge, I race over to my pack, I pull out my rusty knife, and I throw it like a dagger. End over end. Missy, no.

That's my baby, Pissy. It's got to go! No, don't hurt him. Look at him. Don't hurt him, Bissy. Oh, God. I can't move. I'm immobilized in pace.

That's going to be a 26 to hit. Roll for damage. Yeah, all right. I'm gonna do. Mom is scummit. That's gonna be seven points of piercing damage as I whip this rusted knife into the waxy stomach of this strange creature.

Ah! And he spits out of his horn wax. Oh, come like, ah! It's gonna make an attack roll. It's hot liquid wax. It's hot liquid wax. Don't hurt. It misses terribly.

And it starts to bolt for the window. It hits the wall. I am going to endeavor to catch it and crush it with my hands if I can. I will sprint forward and I will try to grasp it. You see as it sprouts horrible wings out of its back. You're not kidding away

little fucker. You're not going to go and find other adult bills and start some sort of nightmare Belfamp. Okay, making accuracy, see it even catch up to this thing. This is fast. Making acrobatics contest. Ooh, I hope it's real slow. Can I use the twist? Oh, yeah. We got a few left.

Is that cocked? I pulled another one out for you if you need it. I feel like that's pretty flat. Alright, let's keep that. I'll go with a 25. That's pretty good. 25, you handily beat the homunculus, so you are able to get a full round of attacks on this thing.

Oh, I will... You will just make your first attack as you're trying to like... I immediately get in range and I clasp my hands trying to grasp this strange thing. Oh, I might forget about that and accidentally harm you. and accidentally harm myself. Can I do anything in this situation too? I feel like if you would like to try to, yeah, make an acrobatic to see if you,

if you beat, uh, not a chance. Okay, then you can- But I'm gonna try. Acrobatics, you say. Unless I have been like amazing acrobatics. To shreds, you say. 21.

Close. Oh, 21. So you get to this homunculus that looks like crazy frog, now with wings. Or in wax wings. Yeah. And you see there's like this picture of like a demonic cow looking like... Like melted and like disfigured and...

Before it can take flight, or perhaps just as it leaves the sill of the window, I will be able to grasp it like this. And I'm going to attempt to mold it back into a cheese form shape as quickly as I can. We can wash it. Yeah. I need to make an attack roll and try to deal damage this thing. That's going to be a 15. Roll for damage. Oh, terrific.

That's going to be... Alternatively, she could grab onto the legs as it flies out the window. And then she'd fly around it all around the castle in like an epic action shop. She could do that, but she's trying to do this. That's very funny. I'm going to do seven points of bludgeoning damage as I crush into it. I would say that I take a point of piercing damage because I squeeze in.

Actually, I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. You take three points of piercing damage. Thank you. As this thing, as you manage to crush it and the knife goes through your hand. As you are now bleeding, as this thing mold, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna roll, make an athletics check for me.

That's gonna be a 16. 16. This thing with a 21, clay faces basically, and really, forms out of your hands and the knife now is stuck in your hand. Out of it. As it attempts and then look back its eyes wide with crazy frog terror as it tries to fly away.

Peggy, what are you doing? I'm going to look towards Bitsy and my eyes are going to go crazy frog. And I'm going to not cast any magic because magic doesn't exist, but I'm going to suggest to Bitsy. Bitsy, you let my baby go. You don't want to do this. You hurt the baby. Then you get the wrath of the mom, you understand.

Don't make me, don't make me hurt you, Bitsy. You're using suggestion on me? And I'm using suggestion on you. I will fail. I believe in you, Peggy. And Bitsy, when you hear those, she hears those words, would accept them. And so whatever strong persuasive magic

you may be using in this moment, I immediately pull the dagger. out and just go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted it did, it was hurting you, and it was trying to run out the window, and I thought he wanted it. It's ugly, it's awful, but I made it, and it's mine. And I love it, it's my child. I love you.

Fly free, whatever you are. Oh, you're so cute. You're so mad. It's all of them, it's already flying. As it makes, it's dripping hot red wax as it takes off into the subterranean air, as it flies off. Shrieking Beverly Hills Cop.

As the visage of the horribly mutated cow on its back looks at you all the while as it disappears into the darkness seemingly. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. The whole situation was really scary for you. For you. But what you have to understand is there's no

love quite like the love between a mother and a horrible wax creation. I don't understand. I'm sorry. I thought that's what she wanted. I was moving, moving quick. I was going to crush that thing. Well, I was hoping it would stay, and we could read books together, and we could go to the restricted wing of the library and learn horrific magics and learn how to control the minds of lesser beings and rise to complete dominance in this world's together. but sometimes babies are ready to leave even before Mama's ready to let them go. I think I scared it away. You could have had all that, and it's been my fault. It was your fault.

And that's a really awful thing I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. Uh-huh. But I'm glad that you understand. And now you're going to have to live with it, too. Maybe I can find it and persuade it to come back. I think you should just look down at that scar on your hand and think about what you've done. You look, and the coachman has been standing me

the whole time. This large, stoic wolf, his eyes are wide, and he looks in with utter confusion and shock. It's going to be like Dr. Farnsworth's pet Pizzouza. Oh, welcome to the Countess's Chambers. I'm Countess Peggy and this is my best friend, right-hand mouse, Bitsy, what is it, T, Bitsy? Bitsy Moose.

There's no tea in the middle, like? No, there's a tea. Oh, is it okay if I say Bitsy T-Mooose? Or can I just want me to address you as Bitsy Moose? I don't know if you have to see the whole thing every time. Do you want a cool title? What kind of title? I don't know.

You could be like a Marquess. Or you could be, you can't be a countess because that's what I am, but you could be something else. What's a Marquess? I don't know. I read it in a book once. Marquess Bitsy? Yeah. All right.

This is Marquess Bitsy T. Moose. And you all? You're the coachman, right? Do you have the, do you have the ability to speak, Mr. Coachman? You want to speak to us for a little bit, maybe? Oh, well, since you came, you must be here to help the countess, right? He looks at the window. Oh, that was just my son.

Oh, you came at a weird time. You want my hand? Oh, you want to see the contract. Oh, yeah. It's right here. You think, come from. The morrow, that's a good word right for a countess to use instead of, you know, in the morning. You can see stuff like forsooth.

That's a great idea. Do you forsooth your willingness on the morrow to deliver us to the surface world? Hmm? Forsooth? Hmm? Forsooth? Should we just meet you on the stable grounds? Right after the first cock crow? Fantastic. Fantastic. Well, we'll see you there. Do we, like, bow to each other or? You want me to bow to you or you bow to me?

Why are you doing the jiggle hands? It's like a helmet waiting for their tip. Why are you doing the jiggle hands? Bitsy, do you know what this is about? I don't know. We should tell him not after the one of the first cock crows, though. Why? Because it depends on what, what, what, uh, John gets up to at night.

He could be any time. Oh, yeah, if he's doing one of his, you know, 3 a.m. recitations of rockadoodle, then... It depends on how much vitamin E he gets the hand on. So what, what time then? Uh, well, how are we the same morning? Just whenever we show up? Oh, yeah.

Whenever we show up. Can we amend the rules and you'll... Take us out again whenever we show up. All right. Yeah, that seemed like it was acquiescence. Well, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Why are you get her in the jiggle hands?

He turns and he leaves. What was all that about? I don't know. He seemed like he was expecting something. Yeah. Do you think the count used to give him sex? He was doing that jiggle hand thing. Maybe he was trying to give you sex.

Oh, God. Why is that when he was trying to give me sex? I don't know. I just had a baby. Well, you're the creator of the universe. You're like the source. Speaking of, I'm sorry I got a little testy with you. I did just have a baby. Yeah, no, I ruined everything for you.

You didn't ruin everything. My child still lives. That's true. and maybe he'll come back and you can have a family. And I didn't do anything to hurt him, so he'll love me, but he'll know if he crosses me, my right-hand gal is going to give him the old one, too. So it really works out in the end.

Right-hand gal. Well, maybe the left-hand gal now because of what happened to your right-hand. Forsooth. Yeah, Marquist. Marquist? I don't know how to pronounce it. Okay. I'm going to say it differently every time.

Should we go let everyone know that we got a right-out? out of here in the morning or just go to sleep. I'm wondering where our pitch is. Well, he's screaming a little closer than he was before. Oh, a lot of it spilled out. Oh, son of a pitch. Allow me to slather your fireplace with Pete.

I'm the stench. More pitch. Oh, pitch. Yeah, could you give us a little extra pitch tonight? It's my first night as Countess. Of course, the Countess must stay warm. A little pitch. It doesn't look like you've got enough pitch in that bucket

for what we're gonna need in that fire place. Yeah, lots filled out. Oh, this bucket is already out. You're probably gonna have to make a second run. We need like one or two more buckets. Oh, how light the fire. For the mischurch. I will fetch more bitch.

Oh, come on, Michael. Not that much longer to last purpose. You're on your way to be signing off on your vacation time. Just the ship out of, out of Drake Smith, and you'll be living large and last purpose on this trip at the barrageo. That's funny. I love that. And he hobbles away.

You all settle in. And in the middle of the night, grumly, your stomach, you get up several times. Who's this guy? I don't think I was there for any of the buddy, uh, stop it. So you make you a bath in the bathroom, you, oh yeah. Why is there so much grease? Oh, stuff over him. Back and forth.

And you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're just, you, you're jays at you're dozing and then you hear out your window. Oh. As you hear the coachman's howl. My time I just come. I get up, I go to the armoire, I put on my witch hunter hat, and I take out the crossbows and the act. Oh, hold on, just one second, hold on.

Run back to the bathroom real quick. And then I come back, I finish getting dressed. And then I go out and have my waking dream. You do. One last time. And you see as the coachman is waiting beyond the bridge once more holding the torch. And he looks at you. Cool. And he says, are you ready? Whoa! I'm so ready! Let's kill stuff!

I have taken a vow of silence to not speak to anyone but my kind. until I have avenged my family. And did you, you avenge your family? I have not, but now that I have rebuilt a pack of two, we may be able to claim vengeance. Are your companions trustworthy? They are not canine, lupine. I do not trust them.

A pack of two locked me in you? Yes, that's right. You've proven that you are a natural born killer, despite your... The shape of your body and especially your face. And general demeanor. And whatever that tale is supposed to be. It's genetic makeup. I was born this way. I can't help it, but inside, I've got to kill her instinct I do. Even more helpful will be the experience that you had this night.

for the three great bears in the underground. Blue of fur, we must slay the three bears that love shitting. In that voice. You're doing the shardling bears. We can't miss them my name! You're not doing the sharpening. We can't miss them my name! I'm gonna be that song.

Well, thanks everybody. Oh, God. Oh, what a session. The big bad finally revealed. I like the mini boss. The Charmin Bears. We got to kill the Charmin bears and build the pack. Oh.

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