Legends of Avantris - Uprooted | S2E3 | Prodigal Son

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

The Vagabond's hit the town and stumble upon a familiar face...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/rj88KKa0rGc?si=jHnMpCCkmEzI7pM0

Welcome to Legends of Evatris, armed grumbling, and you're listening to Uprooted. Here's what happened last time. Jail time is slow time. Well, how do you do my new clients? My name is Jean-Claude Chanticleer, attorney-in-law. I am certainly a lawyer.

What are they charging us with? Are we going to be executed? Yeah, you might be. I say, I say, I say, objection! I object to you, you know good! You all love for living! Actual was all clod! You two harm and flim flam! How did you escape that lavatory I locked you in?

What he did here for? Yeah. It was messy. Do you watch your ass. I won't get you any more sangaree if you don't watch your mouth, all right? Alright? I love big net up and down. I shit bigger than you.

Christ. Now to frame an innocent man. Once again, John Claude, lawyer and law for he's an innocent man. Eventually you make your way to Chateau Chanticleer, which is away from the walkways of this area. of this area but very clearly a soggy basement apartment. Yeah. You read the letter and are officially, currently but politely informed who have been disbarred for violating the crimes of both critter kind and the Almighty.

You are prohibited from practicing law for as long as you may live. Fuck. You're all standing down the... sad, soggy stairwell as Jean-Claude is reading his letter after saying, well, fuck, and you don't know why he said it, but his house is boarded up, or his sad apartment is. And it says, yeah, repossessed. What do you all do in this moment? I say, I say fuck the American Eagle Bar Association.

That's very funny. That's this bar man. What? Wasn't last episode it was the Bald Eagle Bar Association? I'm just doing what I'm told You never said it out loud it's not canon So you're telling us that you're no longer an attorney Well I didn't even know how I mean I've never seen the legal system move this quick

They could just take that away from you? Well I've never seen it happen before but we should definitely fight it we got to get you bought again Well that's actually a great idea I think we, I mean, maybe if I raise a legal contest against this here, disbarment, but that'll put it on pause. Does it say what you got disbarred for? Because you're assuming that you were disbarred

for trying to get us all off in that jail, framing that innocent man with our crimes, which weren't actually our crimes to begin with anyway, and everything else that happened, but you could have been disbarred for something you did weeks ago. Or for something your brother did because he was pretending to be you the whole time.

Well, that could in fact be the mistake. So it doesn't... Well, let's get one thing straight here. I didn't try and get everybody off, I say, I say. I got everybody off. What? I got everybody off. Oh, he did.

I don't know if you did. You just broke us out of jail. Look at you. Free and clear. He got me off. Can he not get you off? I'm still waiting. I thought it was supposed to be some big, you know, reveal,

some, some penultimate moments, some really just release some tension. You look like you've been very freshly gotten off right there. Oh, I said, did you not see the tension I released at the door. Oh, there I was, but once I opened the kios, I was working the door and then as it gave for swing. Can't argue with that.

Pop goes the weasel, as it were. So did they actually- Yeah, that weasel seemed like he was having a lot of fun before he scamp it into the woods. Did they even tell you what, you got this barred? You turn and you see a wooded wooded shell of a weasel fisher and I'm duck

walking out of the woods. Why is he so moist? What are you going to be? Everything is more shit. And then he walks back into the time. It's very humid. So they didn't tell you why you got revoked there? I say it's in the letter.

And as much as I'd love to blame Jean-Luc, that no good flim flammer, I... Flimflammer, you say? What is it that you did? Well, it says I've done a little bit of evidence tampering, which they've never gotten me before. but then it goes on to say I've committed crimes

against all dimwood cond and the Almighty. Wow. Oh, even the Almighty. That's bad. And the Almighty didn't you. You're probably pretty lucky. All you've done is gotten off with getting revoked instead of thrown in prison.

I got after pinning what you all did what I saw the evidence of what you all. I can't even talk about it. I forgot. I can't mention it aloud. But once I penned, that on old Nedgehog, I knew.

I knew it was over for me. You do know that we didn't do anything, right? We're being honest. We really didn't. I mean, yeah, I attacked that guy, but whatever you saw in the evidence lock, whatever scarred your psyche so bad that you can't even talk about, like, we really didn't do that.

I say, I wish I'd gotten you on the stand. Oh, Bucay, you, my friend, would have soared through the legal system. Am I, am I misrepresenting myself? I feel like I'm being honest. You're doing very well, Booker. I don't know what he could possibly be talking about. I mean, all I can think about is, what if they reconstructed the perverts hoveled beneath deck?

I mean, that was pretty awful. You know, there was that entire bucket of all the piss and stuff. I mean, that would definitely, that wouldn't be good. The curtains were hard as rock from all of the semen. Yeah, did you see the banjo? I mean, there's a reason I had to throw it away. Oh, you poor banjo. We couldn't draw it.

to fix it and to be fair i'm not even worried about the banjo this point i'm worried about the fish population that the ecology is going to be fucked the ecosystem it's it's it's oh my god do you think you've got all those fish perkanatee i think they're just gonna die straight up oh is that how that works it was like an instant oil slick i mean i it's horrible oh you did see the color of the water changed the second that mandro of those those plastic rings of the turtles they got nothing on what happened with that banjo on the water They do not. They do not.

Sorry, I just, there were sounds currently freaking me out. Sounds. Yeah, because that, you know, that weasel, that really slutty weasel is just following us around. Go away. Why are you here? Come in some reading, but. Can you put your nipple back inside your shirt? Listen, pal, if you came from the mansion, we don't want any of what you're selling, okay?

We got plenty of that back there. Just, just go away. Yeah, go on. Get. Go on, get it. It's a rookie mistake to stop by Wart Walla when you visit from the Hollywood. Don't talk to us.

You gotta go to my bedroom. Don't talk to us, go. Be gone. This is his house. Get out, your trespass. God. We're not really in his house. No, we're just standing in like a bunch of jackassies.

Well, the property extends this this far out into the yard, though it has been repossessed. Why is your house so? So soggy. Hey, hey, hey. I've never seen it this soggy before. Oh, that's a likely story. Or ever before. Why is it so soggy? Well, I don't know. I mean, we could go in and investigate as to why the situation is so cold. Is that going to be another crime if you don't even own this place?

Well, I was that my follow-up was that it's repossessed and so we can't do that. Oh, that's interesting. We didn't know that before. We did. Oh, I was just going to continue with the letter. I was just going to say you should let it see it. Crimes against the dim wood and the almighty for, but. for a bunch of nonsense. Allegedly, they can't prove a thing, probably.

Uh, but yeah, officially the house is all bordering up, and it looks like they came through and sogged it all up for whatever reason. Well, that's unfortunate. Should we try to get in? Well, that would be breaking the law. For what? The... the law? Okay.

How many months or years do you think you could continue to practice before they realize that you don't have a license? Well, this is the demo, so probably indefinitely. So that's a backup plan then. We definitely have that in a back pocket. Yeah, I mean, I've never yet had somebody check my law license, so I think we could go on if I need to represent a court of law. But man, if that bald American Eagle Association gets me, then whoee!

Curtains, you say. Curtains, you say. You could just snap up in half. That's what we did with all the curtains below deck. Ugh. I know that's true. Once they go, they just kind of get real brittle and they just kind of shatter.

You could serve a meal on them like a plate. On the curtains? Yeah, sure. I wouldn't recommend it, but you could do it if you want to. If I was lost in the desert, there was 14 glasses of water sitting on those curtains. I'll just die.

I would take death. Well, that would be a really stupid thing to do, you just pick the bottle of water up off a bit, you're drinking, you didn't have to touch the curtain to do it. I'd have to know. I'd have to know always that I did it. And that's too much. Glass is shockingly permeable.

That seemed exactly right. Oh, so it's not just the proximity. It's that. Oh, it's potential. Sploids through the glass. Ah, that was right. Potential is. Poetic choice of words there.

Awesome. I'm not. Oh, yeah, you know. I'm trying to stay. Go away. You're not getting sex. Go to the foxhole. The cheeseburger special might still be going.

You better listen to Grongley are allowed to go rabbit on your ass. Yeah, you show up one, two, three, three, four more times and I'll get you. Yeah, you don't want her to pop that weasel. It won't be the same as what Jean-Claude did. Fine. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go back to my Airbnb.

That even sounds like a kind of a kind of a kind of a. But at least put your pants back on you, fuck. Come on. He walks 10 feet this way and walked up the stairs to the apartment. No. Oh, long, go out and do freights. I say now we know why it's soggy. Ah, guys, words are just dripping with permanent.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a rookie mistake to stay at an inner tavern. You gotta use Airbnb. Very clever. Door slams. He seems to be struggling with the lock, and it's one of those combos. All right, everybody, take a few steps away

from the balcony. I don't know what this guy's gonna do. Let's not stand underneath the balcony. Hold on, hold on, hold on. They think, oh, they sent me the coat. Okay, yeah, no, no gas, okay, yeah, I know, that I have a ring camera, okay, yeah. Yeah, I can't use the gas,

I need to clean up too, and I also pay the cleaning thing. You're not allowed to use the hot tub after 10 p.m. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're right. Oh, and the lights automatically turn off. Don't forget about the property line rules. It's very important. Yeah, you can't. Fuck this shit, I'm going to the hotel.

And you see he turns around and walks back towards the nearest tavern. I mean, I know I keep saying it, but that guy is really sweaty. It's really disturbing. He's really sweating a lot. It's not that hard. No, I, ew.

Why is so sweaty? Yeah, did you see that giant sweat stain on the front of his pants? So weird. Mysterious. Well, if we can't get in here, where are we going to go? There's a Airbnb upstairs.

You see we can just book it right now on our flypans? I mean, it might... And it might be a lot cheaper because he had a last-minute cancellation. Well, I've never booked a Airbnb before. It gives me anxiety staying in someone else's home. It is a lot creepy

You never know where they're hiding things Or if they're like under the floorboards You know Little cameras and shit Do you have PTSD from staying in Hamilton's mansion That was basically just a glorified Airbnb, yeah Sort of

Oh no It was a glorified a lot of things We should leave the dim wood forever This is a nightmare And go away to Hollywood No Surely there's somewhere Somewhere

We're out there. It is... Brass music comes out of nowhere. It's around you. He makes that fucking weasler again. No, what happens is, is Bissy starts the song, and then the weasel comes out of the woods. And he picks up the duet, the second half of the duet,

and you guys have a lovely moment. And he's even sweaty. That's what the theme is, but on the VHS tape, that's the part where you always fast forward so that you can get to the rest of the story. What actually happens is the brass music, you realize that there is a much more. marching band funeral. You see a bunch of foxes and hares and mice.

I'm very rudely singing over this funeral march. As they're walking through the town going towards someone. Well, Buker, you're from here. Why don't we go, I don't know, stay with your family or friends. Huh? What? What? Are you trying to say words? Are you hoping that I think you're saying words? Are you hoping that I think you're saying words? so that I stop asking me. Are you okay, Booker? Yeah, I'm fine. I don't even know if my family's here anymore.

I certainly don't have any friends. I left a long time ago, and then I met all of you, and you are my friends now. I'm still warming up to you, but I'm sure we'll be best friends at no time. Well, I appreciate that. I'm sure we can look your family up.

He's cool. In the local directory. There's a certain chance that they could still be here. That's a pretty big place. What is your last name, Raccoon? Actually, it is. It says right here,

like that? She booker T Raccoon. Oh. Yeah, so we just looked through the local directory and see if we can find any raccoons. Shockingly common last night. There can't be there. Are you related to all of them or just some of them? No, that's the weird thing. We're almost none of us are related. This is in a hazel nut situation. You know, that's weird. My middle initial is also tea.

No. How has this never come up? I know. What does the T stand for? Wait, on the count of three. One, two, three. The... Oh. Close. That would have been, can you imagine? Well, Theodore starts with the... After all this time, it would have been crazy if we had the same middle name.

Wow, that, you know, for all the years we've been traveling together, at least five or six, probably. It's been a while. It has been a while. You've had some good times? Remember those crazy deer in the woods? I try to forget them. Me too. They haught my dreams and my nightmares.

You know. It's so fuzzy it's almost like it's non-canon. Almost. Almost. Almost. Almost. You hear snap in the woods nearby you, and you look and you see in the shadow pair of ammlers,

and then suddenly it's gone. Only you, both of you see that. What are you freaking out about? I'm choosing that I didn't see that. No, it's probably coincidence. They're long dead, right? You know, hundreds of years. Just more weasel pervets, that's all.

Thousands. What's a lot of them about? What are we gonna do? I don't know. They were reminiscing about their times together, so I started reminiscing about us, Bitsy. We've had a long, like, couple day friendship. Yeah. Yeah, you remember when you got blitzed out of your mind and you pissed in my nachos?

What? I do not go that. Whoa! Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. That sucked for me. When did this happen? I don't know, a couple of days ago. Days!

You all have had some wild adventures. Did you ask me to pissing your naches? nachos? No, we would just walk in back from that general store when we were out late at night, you know, after you got blitzed out of your mind, and you were like, I got to pee, and I said, now isn't a good time. We're literally only two minutes from where we're staying, and you were like, no, no, let me do it. You grabbed my nachos, put them down on the ground, squatted over them, started pissing, and then you tried to pick them up and eat them. I had to smack them out of your hand. It was ridiculous. Why did I do that? Because you would blitzed out of your mind.

Why was I? I don't remember being blitz out of my mind. It's magic. Is this another one of those weirdly real life darned stories? Yeah, it really happened. Oh, no. Absolutely a hell. What a book of really hopes? That's not the case. Oh, dear gods.

And don't worry, she didn't eat the nachos. It came pretty close, but she didn't eat them. But she still put him on the ground and pissed on them? Oh, yeah. And then she tried to eat the nachos? Yeah, because she had completely forgotten that she peed in them, even though she had literally just put them down and pied them. This is too specific to be a coincidence.

But that's all I'm saying is it's amazing how we've all bonded. Truly a God's blessing. Corn and corn alone day feels like only yesterday. I guess it was only like three days ago. Well, you know, a lot has happened in three days. Well, no, I guess there was a two week. It's been a few weeks. It's been a few weeks.

Yeah, a few weeks. It's been a few weeks. It's been a while. It's been a while. Should we go to the strip joint? They might not let me back in that place. I just don't know where else to go. I feel like you've got to know somewhere.

And the good thing is, if they might not let you in that place, it means someone there might recognize you. Thus, we can ask them where your family's at, so we've got a place to stay. Well, I hope that nobody at the strip joint knows where my family is, but, hey, you never know. Anything's possible at this point. Like father, like son, right?

Let's go to the strip point. Oh, could you imagine we ran, my old pops. The old strip joint, man, mm-mm, that would make for a very

interesting tale. Oh, well, here we go. We head on over to, we head on over to the muck bed. Yeah. The fox's hole.

Oh, that's right. You know the foxhole? The foxes old. No, that was a... That was a different one? No, no, no, no. I'm just, I'm making it. Gross, jokes.

There are actually a handful of... I mean, if you would to go to, please tell me there's not more than one. Oh, you better know there is. It's like that entire street in downtown Baltimore, we're just like, yeah. That's right, strip, bro. No, it's the strip strip.

The strip strip, where there's mucked his clams, and that's what I say. Oh, like, do you mean like that side there, where there's mucked his clams? That's right. Oh, oh, so much. Yeah, we got the foxes hole, we got the muck bed, we got the muck bed, you know.

The Muckbad, the foxhole. There's also the Baga Bing. We got Beaver Creek. Whoa, Booker, I didn't know clams could have beards. That's right. Wow. Got to look real close. I've never seen one of those.

Oh, look, brady tat, tat. We should go in there. You go to the Red Light District of Muckbet Creek and you find the foxhole as you hear the sound of a loud player piano as you can push your way through the doors. as it is mid-afternoon, right, at this point? And so it is the... It is the grade... Five o'clock somewhere.

The grade C clientele is working at the Foxhole right now. It is very darkened here. But it's not dark enough. As you see... There's actually a surprising number of patrons. There's probably a couple of people working right now

doing what they do here at the strip joint. You see that there's a large bar serving and a handful of cocktail weeders and waitresses serving drinks. Ah, it's like how. More things change, the more they stay the same. You know what I'm saying? It smells weird in here.

That's right. That's right. That it does, Bitsy. That it does. I'll have the cheeseburger, please. You come with me. You see as a gray a... A... A gray fox woman and a cocktail, a cocktail outfit shows up with a pad and a writing

tent. Okay, honey, you want the cheeseburger? Yes, please. Okay, good. We got us the special on that. It's not too late to get the cheeseburger special. Oh, it comes with French flies on the sides of three? Oh, well, no.

It comes with chips. You can upgrade the French fries. French flies. Oh, chips. What do you think? How much money do we have? I have no money, but definitely don't tell anybody who works here. Okay.

They're just putting on your tent. Well, the thing is, you can only run up the tab so far before they start to catch wise, and then it's... Well, that's right. I had quite a bit, but John Luke and all his tax scheme and clean me out. Oh. Well, I say I got nothing left. You could always offer your pro bono legal services. I'm sure they'll be able to hold you that can use it and they don't then otherwise. Well, that's not a bad idea. I couldn't give him the old pro bonn. That's why I'm the creator of the world.

The French flies. Yes. How much is the upgrade charge? Oh, it's just a couple pennies. According to my inventory, I have 4,185 gold teeth. I can't be right. Jean-Claude, just so you know, be careful where you're doing the old pro bonin, because that is a serious offensive you get caught around here. Well, yeah, based on the lettering, I think that's probably correct,

but they'd have to catch us first. Oh, Jean-Claude, I like you. You live on the edge, man. You're a firecracker. There are probably a lot of people in here who like living on the edge. That's true. This I'll take a hot toddy. But make it ice cold. Okay.

Well. Just look at it probably like, what the fact? Hot toddy doesn't get on until seven. Well, I say I'll wait. Okay. What time is it right now? Three. I'll take a...

3 p.m. in the afternoon. I'll take a rye if you got it. Neat. Okay. Rye. Neat. Make it a double, too, please. Double. A feeling that I need it.

Okay. For you, honey. Oh me? I'll have a water with lemon. We've got the water over there. You see it's a rusty bucket with still water and flies flying around it, yeah. Okay, thank you. And for you, honey? Yeah, I'll take a root beer.

Okay, root beer. That's in the name. We've got a lot of root beer in the dim wood. But here, it's just beer in the wood. world of fruit. Yeah, I know that's why I would, it is very funny. Okay, any more food? Can you make sure it's extra frothy?

Oh, okay, that'll cost you extra. Yeah, but how much? Uh, couple pennies. All right, make it not frothy at all. Oh, okay, no froth. I come back with my water. Can you do medium froth? Okay, I can do medium froth.

Thank you. Could I have a pretzel? Oh. Sure you don't want some nachos? I don't remember doing that. Yeah, we got a pretzel, but it doesn't come with mustard or cheese sauce. Do you want to upgrade that? You mean I need to get the cheese sauce or the mustard also on the side?

Yeah, that's extra. Extra what? A couple pennies. Okay. Okay. Okay, pretzel. Okay, I got the burger special with French flies on the. the side. We got Hot Tottie waiting

until 7 rye neat double. We got a medium froth root beer and then the pretzel with both the cheese sauce and the ground mustard. My my cheese burger.

Oh. Yeah. Burgos special. What kind of cheese? What are my options? You want to You want it? What color?

What? I mean, just like meat cheeseburger colored. It's fine. Okay. What cheese? What are my options? We only have one option. Then that one is fine.

Okay. You don't want to know. Just, you know. Like, I'm not going to tell you had a little bit like. All right. But generally ordering anything with cheese from a strip joint is a bad. Just... Look that, I'm just hungry.

I've, you know... We're rolling the dates, pal. I've just been, you know... Really rolling the dates. Thinking about this burger since we were in prison. Your funeral, man. If it looks off, I won't eat it, all right? You can make it a double if you're real hungry.

Can I make it a double? Yeah, you can get a double, it'll cost you a couple pennies. And if you're really, really hungry, you can make it a triple. You can make it a triple. I can make it a triple. You can make it a triple. And if you're really, really, really hungry, you can make it a quadruple.

I can make it a quadruple. You can make it a quadruple. Let's stick to the quadruple. Okay, 4x. Does that come with four times the cheese? No. That's extra. How much extra?

Double pennies. I'll have four times the cheese, too, please. That'll cost you. Oh, dear, cuts. There's too much cheese. Well, you know, to be, you're going to get a quadruple with quadruple cheese. You've got to get, you've got to get, like, monster flies, right? Like, you can't just get the regular side of flies.

You've got to get cheese flies and bacon. With a little spring onion on top. It's good. Oh, that seems a little rich for lunchtime, don't you think? You mean the loaded extreme mega French flies? Yeah. That's an option? Yeah, it's on the menu.

How much? Much extra. It's a lot of pennies. Well, according to my inventory, I have 5,200 gold. Yeah, we got a bunch of gold for some reason. That'll charge. There's no way they let us keep that after prison. Why would they steal money in prison?

How do you guys have all this money? I got zero. We sold the gold. We sold the crawfish claw. We sold it for like 10,000. Yeah, I got it. So what are you having is your side? What are you having is your side? Okay. Any gold we had absolutely got fused into one giant like gold metal brick after being in that, uh, evidence locker. So there's no way in hell. Yeah, I'll probably have zero gold pieces. I'm going to delete all this. I'll delete all my gold pieces. Remove. Um, just surprise me. If you want it, you gotta order it from the menu.

Just, I'll have the super duper nacho... That's not what they called. Oh, God, what's it called? You have to say it. Oh, what's your name? Well, I think it was the monster. Loaded extreme mega-dumbo. French flies.

I'll have the monster extreme double-loaded Dumbo French flies. What? Mega Dumbo. Mega Dumbo. French fries, please. Thank God you didn't order the big sloppy daddy.

Oh, there was an audition. Can you imagine saying that out loud? Oh, they have that? I don't want the pretzel. I have the big sloppy daddy. Well, I think that's on a different menu. Okay, the big sloppy daddy. You come with me.

Okay, my name. is Roxy if you need anything else. That's a lot, Roxy. We appreciate it. Oh, Rob, before you go, can I put it in order for the glory holes, the donut holes that are on there? That's very funny.

The glory holes is just there in the back, they're free. For real? Yep. To the left or the right? Yep. I'll be back in the case, Kurtz off.

Well, boy, you know, when, uh, I never, I never thought that my character arc would involve me becoming a degenerate cereal strip joint enjoyer. But here we are. I'm surprised that Peggy's going to get a glory hole before her meal. She's going to fill up on glory holes. It's the beautiful things in life, isn't it? Truly a wonder.

Oh, that looks like a cup of malaria. Oh. Oh. It looks like a cup of malaria. You take a step and there's actually around the whole rim there are like 14 mosquitoes all drinking with you. Mmm. Mmm.

Mm. Mm. He's on the hut. Mm. We can do this for 50. The Bitsy side story. Mm. It's very funny.

The B-plot. Yeah. So Booker, do you recognize anyone in here? I take a look around. Maybe someone else. Is that a good? An advantage. Oh my God. Do I have a perception? What the hell?

It's a 13 and then... Oh boy. I got a 13. It's very dark. I don't have dark vision. You look... Technically I do. Get on my ass. You see a... It's very easy to see that there is a large table in the center of this place where several of the dancers are dancing in front of. And you see that there are... several, you see one large fox and three large otters, as they seem to be guarding a table

of very well-dressed Riverfote Company people. So I would recognize them as the Riverfolk Company. But I don't know. They're the mom. And are you looking for anyone particularly? I would just be looking for a familiar face or just to see if I recognize anybody. And, you know, do you think your father's would be? If you had asked Andy three hours ago, I'd said no. But here we are. What's your father's name? Oh, Jesus.

His name is Beauregard. Beauregard. A raccoon. Bo tea raccoon. No, still tea raccoon. Yeah, Beauregard. Oh, okay. Beauregard tea also comes out.

Oh, yeah, that's the stuff, baby. Oh, I love the 3PN special. You hear the video. familiar voice of your father. I love that he sounds like Beetlejuice. There was a moment that sounded very much like we were like Oh, that wasn't worth the fire in the whole special baby! You are never, wait here, wait here.

Oh, okay. And I'll jump up and I was holding on my head as I rush over and I stop and I'm about five feet away. And I'm hesitant I take a step forward and I stop. And I go to reach out my hand and I pull away. and I say, Dad? You see as he turns, he looks like just a plumber, older version of Booker. A little grayer. Yeah, definitely grayer around the mask area.

And he's wearing a, his outfit is even more kind of stitched together and patched than Bookers. As he looks, he says, there's no way, Booker is that you little Booker? Dad, it's, it is. It's me. Oh, it's my son. Boy, the prodigal son returns. That's right, it's me. He stands up and he gives you a huge time.

Dad, I miss you so much, Dad. Oh, boy, you came just in time for the 3 p.m. show. You knew that's what I loved. You knew you're a hero, dad. You know, deep down, I had a feeling, Dad. I just had a feeling you'd be here. Oh, the things I've seen, the things I've done, you wouldn't believe it. What have you done?

You've got to tell me everything. Are you here by yourself? No, no. down. I don't know. I'm not sure. You got to meet my friends. Come, come sit with my friends. Your friends? Oh, speaking of before, before you, before, after I meet your friends, this freaky-looking frog. What? Dad ran into the bath. A frog, you say. We got to make sure we don't miss out on that. Oh, oh, oh, my God. No, Dad, no, no, no, no, you don't understand. I think you're referencing

one of my friends. I mean, I, you know. You're an adult, you can do what you want, but I'm just, when you're, freaky doesn't begin to describe it. Oh, okay, okay. Let me meet your friends. Come out and drink with us. Come on, we just went around. You see his, Booker brings this raccoon over to you. Guys, this is my dad. Oh, my gosh.

Wow. Mr. T. Raccoon, it's a pleasure to meet you. Oh, you can call me Beauregard. Mr. T. Raccoon was my father. Hi, my name is Bidsey. How'd you do? John Claude Sinclair, Sir Chanclair. Oh, I've seen your billboards.

Oh, perfect. How'd you like him? He's new to the group, but he's fitting well. He just became friend of the lawyer. I didn't know you were doing so well. Yep, really moving up in the world, Potsch, really moving up. Wow, I can see that. It's at this time that Peggy appears.

There weren't even any donuts in there, just a bunch of penises and holes. And that's Peggy. You probably saw running the back earlier. Oh, well. How do you do, young lady? This is my dad. Oh, it's nice to meet you. They're in Beauregard, T Raccoon.

Can't you see where I get my good looks from? Yeah, for sure. He's a handsome old raccoon. He's a mess. He's an absolute mess. God, you haven't. He's the day. What are you back in town for? Why are you hanging out with this lawyer

with this fancy billboard? It was frost in everywhere. It's a crazy long story, but you know, we were adventuring through the dim wood and we were seeing things and going places and doing things I may never see again, but we eventually ended up at this mansion full of perverts. Oh, you would have loved it. It was wild. I was scared for my life, which, you know, added to the excitement a little bit. But it was crazy. And eventually the whole mansion went up in flames and we had a daring escape.

There was a crazy, crazy toboggan showcase accident. We almost staged a revolution. It was wild. And then we ended up here in Mukbred as we went down the river on a boat. And, you know, I tried to kill a man. Whoa, you did? I don't know what came over me. Oh, I knew you would take after your old dad.

I'm so proud of your book. But I didn't get him. I cursed my tiny raccoon hands. I wasn't strong enough. No, you got to learn how to. It's all in the finesse. They threw us in jail and that's how we met our attorney, our lawyer. And he got us off.

He got each and every one of us off. He didn't arrest until we all got off. That's a good lawyer. I'm a dedicated law, man. Once I heard the story, I knew it would be easy to get this group old. And then unfortunately, he lost his license to practice. And his house was repossessed and it was soggy and weird. We saw one more weasel pervert and we said, you know what?

We've got to hit the strip joints. And here we are. Well, you came to the right place of the right time. Of all the strip joints, of all the strip, we walked into yours. Crazy. Unbelievable. Yeah, they had of donuts. That's, well, they'll re-dark them soon enough.

Can we get you a drink? What are you drinking these days? No, nonsense. I'm your dad. I'll buy you a drink. I'll buy you all the drink. Oh, thank God. We don't have any money.

Thanks, Dad. We appreciate it. Okay, no. I just recently got a new loan. So I'm good. We're gonna hit the pill-bug track later. Oh! A little bit gambling?

Yeah, we're gonna bet on the pillbugs. Can I ask you a question, Mr. Booker's dad? Absolutely, sweetie. Can we stay at your house tonight? Oh, my, how many of you? Just the five of us right now? Five of us, yeah. Oh, yeah, of course you can stay with me.

I should have enough room. I mean, only if you don't have any lady friends over. No, I mean, my lady friends, they're out of town. You know, after your mob moved out, I moved, I'm downgraded size. I, you know, I just move to a different location. That's what they always say. Yeah, yeah, I, uh... Well, smart, it's a smart thing to do, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm not too far from here. So, yeah, I'll need to make sure I get in an order before you guys come by. But, yeah, you guys can stay here while you're in town, you know. Thank you, thank you. My case, uh, you case. You, case. Yeah, that's right. My dad speaks multiple languages.

Oh, very smart. Very well done. He's real smart. He's a really smart guy I know. Me, Kesa, you Kaysa. Yeah, you can take that one at the bank. Alright. I will.

Yeah, I'll buy you guys a drink and I gotta just quickly talk to my friends over there. Wait, wait, before you do, what have you been up to? You gotta tell us what you've been up to? Oh, you know me. Living the dream. You know, I go about the day. town, I do my rounds. You know me. Everybody knows. Everyone knows Beauregard. That's a good way to be. Yeah, I do the rounds. I, you know, I hit the track. I hit the

pill bug track. That's always a good time. And, you know, if I want to mix it up, I'll, I'll bet on the termites. Wow. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, doesn't he have the best life? It's so exciting. Oh, wow. Wow. You know, I'm usually here around three. For the first. For the first. firing the whole afternoon special. Yeah, you know, it's just living the dream, Booker. Yeah, I do a couple of odd jobs here and there for, you know, the River Folk Company when they need a little hand, you know. Wow, that's impressive. Did you know Ned the Hedgehog?

Oh, Ned! Yeah. Yeah, Ned. Oh, he's in jail. That don't surprise me. Yeah. I think he's going to be put away. for a long time.

Usually he's always in on a misdemeanor and he gets out real soon. I don't know what the worst make it die. He's enough of attempted murder this time. Oh? Yeah. Len? Yep.

Who's going to look after his brother? He's a brother? Yeah, his brother. Can he look after himself? Oh, that's right. He did mention Sonny. I forgot about that. Oh, yeah. He's 32 years old. Oh, he's so young.

It's just the kid. He's just the kid. He's his kid brother. 32 years old. Wow, what a shame. Oh, no. That's what happens. When he gets rough.

Yeah. Nettson's care of his brother Sonny. Yeah. Just terrible. What does Sunny do all day? That's, you know, he hangs out. He looks at his little comic books. He's, you know, he's a little, yeah, you know.

Oh, yeah. Oh, different. I know what you mean. Yeah. You know, he watches like the plays that, you know, is a curtain. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ugh. Ugh. Well, look, we won't hold you up. I said you had people to talk to where our drinks should be here any minute. We, you know, and we'll wait for you. We'll wait for you. You let us know when you're done your business. Yeah, I just gotta catch up with old Vinny over there.

I just, we gotta catch up. He's a good friend. I'm in good. Well, before you go, I'm in good. What's a good way for abroad to make some money around here? some money around here. Isn't Muckbent Creek where a big riverboat casino is?

Remod mismembering. No, you're 100% right? Oh, yeah. The catfish. Oh, the catfish. You could win some money at the catfish. Oh, no, I'm not a gambler. I forgot that was a thing. Yeah. You got a lot to drink.

The hungry catfish, why not? Why the fuck not? It's been a long time. It's been a long time. What I'll say is the hungry catfish, usually a guy of My salt of the earth type is not quite as welcome at a fancy, shmancy, expensive place. The table's there. They're all, it's so expensive. Wow.

Sounds like a kind of place I'd like to go, actually. But so how does the broad make some money around here? Around here, talk to Roxy. She'll hook you up. Sure, which one's Roxy? A waitress. A waitress. A beautiful lady.

A lovely waitress. Oh, yes. So when she brings the Rootby. rover all right I'm gonna go talk to my friends and uh well we're here for you don't worry about your old name no I would never worry I would never worry I don't worry about you a little bit dad yeah yeah you know oh yeah it's okay you don't gotta worry about me all right yeah why you know you think you're stronger than me huh no no of course not okay okay okay okay okay okay I'm pleasure to make you

Queens, Beauregard. Isn't my dad the best? Oh, he's so cool. He's great. Strike and portal into your future. What? Oh, I hope I can be half the man. My father is. Oh, yeah, he does set quite the example. You see as the two well-dressed otters step aside and let... This is going to get so dark. and vote of regard walk up to talk to someone sitting down smoking a cigar a very large ring on every single one of his fingers

as he starts to talk to and you eventually get your drinks and the food comes out okay if there's anything else that you need you let me know honey Roxy's yeah honey

what does it broad do to make some money around here also they're all out of donuts Yeah, I went into the room you told me to, and it was covered in frost and I couldn't find a single donut in there at all, just a bunch of penises. You were looking for the glory holes? Yeah, the donut holes. You know the center of the donut, the glory hole? I was looking for a dozen of them, and I just found 12 penises. Yeah, no, we call those munchkins here.

This got bought out by a Dunkin' Donuts franchise. Why would you have to call something like that a munchkin? That's so gross. Muck Bed Creek runs on Duncan. Duncan. All right. Well, I don't want him anymore. But what would we do to find work?

Like, what's a broad guy to do to get some work around? Oh, you could dance. You could serve, weight tables. I'm not a great dancer, but I'm pretty good at taking my clothes off. Well, it is the afternoon shift. She is really good at taking a close off. It's like a go-to maneuver. It's a whole thing.

Yeah. It's mostly Velcro. You can usually get honest work by the dogs and the harbor. You got a position open. Like if I wanted to, you know, work today the afternoon shift, could I cover the meals and drinks for my friends? Depends on how long you dance for. I don't know. An hour?

An hour? But one slimy burger and some... Some feted water. Gonna need, let me do a quick background check. Remember, I only got medium froth. I'm gonna do a quick background check. Yeah, sure, go ahead. She walks around and looks at you.

Two hours. And now we're in a half. Make me for Sweden. Oh, a shrewd negotiator. Oh, damn. Very funny. Persuasion, you said. Respondi-

Nine. Two hours. And now we're on 55 minutes. Man, we have to... Five minute break, that's fine. You have to wait until seven anyway for Mr. Chanticleer's drink. Yeah, look, it's a good time for us to just relax

and let Peggy do a thing. I'm going to go in the back with the rest of the performers. I don't have to be Peggy, right? I can put on a persona like Lala Loobsie or whatever that was. I mean, it's 3.30 in the after. to do whatever the fuck don't want. Okay, perfect. Just don't steal any of the broad stuff.

Oh no, not in your rule. I will see you in two hours then and everything that they ordered was covered by my, my wages. Yeah, and then anything else that you get is tips. Okay, perfect, yeah, that sounds great. You keep your tips, okay. Write them in.

All right, I'll see you guys in a couple hours. Good luck. Thanks. Looks like it's pretty easy. I know you can do it. and I give you inspiration. Thank you. Right, see you fellas. Don't get into any trouble.

Oh, good luck. Have fun out there. Oh, I bet Peggy's a wonderful dancer. Well, we're going to find out. Hey, Rocky. Could I get something other than this water? It tastes like pennies. That's fine, honey.

What do you want? I don't know what you can... What do you have? That would be good. You want some root beer? What's root beer? is what your friend is walking away with is beer

it's just beer yeah and within the setting of root okay it's actually uprooted beer uprooted beer de wits of the dimwood dmwood dm oh legally distinct beer

it's legally distinct beer here you go with you oh if you actually upgrade you can upgrade to this souvenir cup oh yeah it's the foxhole souvenir cup what does that look like All night.

I ask if it's dishwasher safe. Is it dishwasher safe? Absolutely not. No, I knew it. Foil again, I'll say. I'll just have to be a regular time. Okay. One time, I got a souvenir mug from one of these places,

and it was shaped like a shapely woman. Put it through the dishwasher, all the clothes got rinsed right off, and it was just a flesh-colored mug after that. I did the exact same thing. things. I don't mind all those hills turn to valies. This wasn't enjoyable. Thank you, Rocky.

You know what? This place is classy because they serve your drinks. You head on over down to the clam bar and you find out it's all B-Y-O-B. Crazy. The only thing they'll sell you is mixers. You got to walk in there with a whole handle of booze and mix your own drinks. What's B-O-B-O-B? Bring your own beverage.

Oh. I just ordered a beverage. Well, yeah, it's because like I said, this place is classy. Hey, Booker. Yes. Did you know that guy who came and said down here? Yeah! That was my dad!

He's my father! Oh! His name is Beauregard T Raccoon. Beauregard. Yeah. You're quick, Pincey. You're real quick. He has very important friends, seemingly. These guys, he's hanging out with the River Folk Company.

I mean, they run everything. everything around here. I look over there and I see, what's he doing? You see he's like sweating, he's looking really nervous. He's like, his little record, he's begging. Please, please, please, the one of the audors is like.

They look like they're having a great time. Oh, good friends, I'll just, you can't beat it. I hope I get my big sloppy daddy suit, I'm hungry. You know what? This calls for a toast. A toast! I'm so glad that I'm here with you guys back home in the Fox's Hole. There's no place I'd rather be than a Fox's Hole. Well, I haven't known you guys long, but I... We haven't been served yet, aren't we?

Well, at least the drinks. But I didn't know if they... Okay, the food came out to you. All right. Oh, the food came out. Oh, good. This looks delicious. What's all right? I'm inclined to agree. I haven't known you long, but I wouldn't rather be in any fox as or other than anyone who are. Well, it's been an honor serving with you. Cheers, cheers. I hope Peggy does well. What do you think is going on backstage? Peggy, what do you find backstage?

Oh, I mean, it's just a mess of, or a mesh of people wandering, I've got their own little like vanity stations where everyone's getting dressed up. Pass a sparrow and then a fox and then an author. And Peggy gets, I would think Peggy would get along with all of them and she would, I don't have any makeup. Does anyone want to put a lipstick on this frog? And I'm going to hang out with them and get dressed up and all dolled up and get my character ready to go. And wait.

We'll just enjoy some alcohol and hang out until it's time for Peggy to go on stage. Do you see any big sloppy daddies? Oh, they're a few. Exactly, asking the important questions. You got a chance. You do that as you get your character ready. They share their makeup. They will not share other things that they have with you.

Oh, it's so unfortunate. Memoirs of Peggy. And you, as you all, how do you have this toast? It is time for Peggy to take to the stage. The spotlight goes on center stage with a small, curtain has been pulled across the stage. Just right in front of it is one of the poles. And you hear an announcer,

and now, welcome to the stage, Phyllis, the feet. And from behind the curtain, you just see one long frog leg pop out and just start to move around the toes, slayed, just doing really nasty feet things for an hour and 55 minutes. Yeah, get him a cake. Woo, yeah!

People throw things up and Phyllis the feet catches it. That's a good foot. Tosses it back. Oh, yeah. People will put things on the stage and Peggy will stick her feet into whatever it is and throw it back out of the audience. Oh, yeah, show us the webbing.

How did she open a pressurized 12-ounce can with one foot? That's remarkable. The dexterity in those toes is insane. Making performance check. Perfect. I hope it's really awful. And you have a bargain spraison. Yeah, you do have bargainsbo.

Oh, what is Bartag inspiration? Probably at this level 1d6. Let me check. If I had to guess it, it's. Yes, one D6. 18. Oh, okay. Hell yeah.

Woo! The crowd goes wild as every hour that every minute, like 20 minutes that pass, more and more people are going in for the evening rush as the afternoon goes on. I'm glad we got a table early. Yeah, yeah. You got the table early. It's getting sweaty. Yeah, it's getting damp, it's getting sweaty.

Everything here in Muckbett Creek. A musky. Yeah, Muckbid Creek is definitely a little damp. As you, I would say with an 18, you get thrown probably 15 gold pieces worth. Oh, my God. There's a couple of high rollers over the course of the two hours. Or the one hour and 50 minutes.

That's amazing. She always grabs the coin out of the air and then does that like weird thing with the... Yeah, no, definitely. And Peggy dressed up the foot in a really sexy negligee. And throughout the course of an hour and 55 minutes, it came off. And there were nowhere else to put the coins. So she just started throwing the gold towards the table

and the group of her friends. I got tapioca puddin. Tavioca is one of the specials for today. That big sloppy daddy was really good. That's disgusting. See, I told you the foodie is so good. The food is fantastic. I'm sick of none.

Mine was relatively mediocre. Really? I should have gotten a big sloppy daddy. It was so sloppy and big. And didn't have been sloppy. It was the funniest and the bigiest. And did it taste as sloppy as a look? Oh, what did it ever?

I think I'm going to go see if those hot dogs, the donuts, the donuts, I'm going to go see if the donuts have been restarted. Okay, I'll stay here with Booker. There's on, Claude, and Mr. Chanticlean. I'm not going to the donuts, that's it. I would advise it. Not to give you advice. You're the advisor here, but.

Please, I take it. I mean, you know, I was a little unsettled watching her eat that big sloppy daddy. whatever reason I just couldn't be in my eyes away. A train wreck. It was like a train wreck. Exactly right. Like road kill.

You just, you just can't live away from it. I didn't know your dad was a boxer. Look. What? Dad! No! And I'm gonna jump up and run up. Oh, they're sparring.

Look at that. Dad! Dad, are you all right? Hey, this doesn't concern you. No, no, that's my dad! Okay, I don't care who's daddy he is. I don't give a shit, get the fuck away from me. No, no, it's important.

You can't hurt my dad? Make a persuasion check. I got an 18. An 18. You really fucking know this guy? No, this is a... Yes, yes. This has gotta be a huge misunderstanding. Hold on a second.

Hold on a second. Then he goes over and he, uh... He stops the really big otter who's just being the... the shit out of that. Oh, no. As the otter in the, who's been sitting down

smoking the cigar, looks at you and takes a puff and he stands up and he's wearing a very nice suit. He's got all sorts of ring. His fur has slipped back. And he looks at you and he says,

he says, you have been? Yeah, yeah. Yes, it is. Yes. Well, your dad owes me a lot of fucking money. Well, I like that, that can be. You biologically related? Yeah, no, it's fine. Booker, it's not what it looks like.

We're just, we're roughhousing, we're playing around. I don't know, Dad, it looks like you're getting your ass kicked. Well, we were just giving him a little bit of a friendly reminder. You understand? What kind of reminder? A reminder that he owes the boss. Don a lot of money. How much?

You really want to know? When you put it like that, I'm a little scared to ask. Come here closer, kid. You're a good kid. He kind of smacked, like, gives you a clap. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, you're strong. Dude, how does the tune of 15,000 sound?

15,000? That's what I say. That's what I say. 15,000? 15,000 clans. That's a lot. A little raccoon. Is that a clams, uh, copper pieces?

Or clams, silver pieces? Electrum. Or maybe even. Oh, he's a comedian, huh? Maybe even Electrum pieces. He's a comedian. Me? I'm not a comedian.

No, I'm a musician. I'm a musician. Do you think that this is a joke? No, it was an honest question. You don't know what a clam is? Can you believe this? Can you believe this pistachio? What's that?

Pistachio. Do I look like a pistachio to you? What? It looks like you're doing great, Booker. Do I look like a pistachio? Oh, you can do it. You have inspiration now. Not mechanically.

Just feel inspired. You know what? You look like you're new in town. Is that true? Oh no, I grew up here. Well, all I can say is that the, you need to remind that you've been away for so long, that the Riverfell Company owns this place as much as the Erie likes to depend that they rule the clearing.

You understand here? I don't think there's no miscommunication there. We know, we understand that. All I know is that this gentleman here has three days to get a bit of a little bit of, you get to be a miscommunication there. the 15,000 clams through the boss or else he's going to be sleeping with the fishes of night here, you know, and if he catch my dream. Okay, well, one, in three days, I don't think the river's going to clear up, clear up. I just be fully honest with you.

That probably aren't going to be many fishes left. Okay. Two. I don't understand what you're saying. Three days. I don't get it. 15,000 clams. That's a lot of clams and not a lot of time.

That's not my problem. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Oh, Vinny, it's fine. He's a good kid. He's a good kid.

No, I'll get you your money. I got a job coming in. He's in investments. It's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Okay. Okay, Mr. T. Raccoon.

Beauregard. Did I don't be waiting? Get this piece. the shit out of here. As he is the road. I catch him. Yeah, you catch him. Dad, no.

Oh, come on, come back to the table with us. Come on. What happened? How could this happen? Oh. Is it true? Oh. Is what true?

They're trying, they're trying to, the riverfoil company, he's trying to say that my dad has some 15,000 clams in three days. I'll say 15,000. How could this be? How could this happen? Oh, I just, as soon as I get my hand on a few clams, I just slips right through my little fingers like cotton candy. Oh, curse us in our tiny raccoon hands.

We never could hang on to cotton candy or clams. That's the raccoon family curse. What's the exchange rate between clams and copper pieces? Oh, it's a lot of clans. It's very unclear. So what are we gonna do? Tell me how this happened. Tell me.

Well, I got alone and then I thought I was gonna make it really big. And so I went to the track and I won really big. And then I thought, well, I could win even bigger. And so I bet it all and I won. It was so much and then I bet it all again and then I was all gone. Didn't stop? No, because I mean if I stop, Then imagine what if I did?

What if I stopped before, right before I got hit it big, kid? Flawless logic. Okay, uh, all right, all right. We're gonna come up with a plan. We're gonna figure this out. This isn't good. This isn't good, Dad. What, you don't have to worry about your old man.

I got it handled, Booker. Don't worry. I'm fine. I got a few leads. You know, I got a few leads. Ned and I were gonna do a little bit of heist on the sly. I guess that may not work out. No, Ned's in prison for probably ever.

Well, are you in on the hot dog hires? The hot dogs, he did that for the darn. We were gonna, you know, whisk away some game implements. Oh, this is a good kid. Yeah, Sonny let us know that there was some cards coming in. The collectors go crazy for. We was going to do a little bit of a heist and sneak him, sell him on the third-party market.

Ah, Dad, you can't be resorting to crime to pay back your debt. It seems illegal. Well, it's only illegal if you get caught. Well, it's just illegal normally. Then you've got to pretend that it's legal when you get caught. But it starts illegal. He's a lawyer. He would know. Well, if we have a lawyer on our side, then we don't have to...

We're good, right? Well, I could get you off. You can get us all off. I can get everybody off, that's true, but I got to work real hard. It's not as easy as people think. You've got to put a lot of work into it, a lot of elbow grease. And to be fair, if we don't get the money before three days are up, there's not going to be a trial, Dad. I got it on good authority that the Riverfolk Company kills people.

Well, you're right. Son, I didn't want to mix you up in this, but... They do kill people. And there is no justice in this clearing. Mayor Blowfish is bought and sold by the Riverfoe Company. Damn. We're in quite the pickle here. So, well, if the racetrack didn't work, why don't we try to casino?

That could be a good way to make some money. You know, the stories, don't they go and they, you know, win big? Bonanza, et cetera. You're right. I didn't know you were hanging out with such smart friends, Bucca. That's my boy! These guys are great. My best friends.

Oh. You're also a lot of friends. Whoa, yeah, you got some good friends. Look at the legs on Gladys. Lousa! I think it's Phyllis. Whatever they call them. and it's just feet.

All she's showing is feet and is still paying at least five to ten copper pieces every month for this. Whoa! It's just feet. Well, currently she's playing tapioca all over the place.

Oh, I guess if you had the tapioca pudding. That could dodge. It's a mess. It's grated into some of its parts, I suppose. It's like dodging the rain in here. Biffy comes back with a plate.

Oh, no wonder there's, oh, the feed was a good choice. I didn't know she knew that the hot shot director from the Hollywood was visiting. Jesus Christ. You see the weasel. Oh, no. We can't get rid of that guy. It's been following us around. He's sweaty and gross.

That's a hot shot. He's a big deal in the Hollywood. I don't want to know about it. You gotta assume at this point not buttoning the pants is a choice. I'm playing. He's had plenty of time to figure it out. Bitsy comes back with a plate. The donuts are restocked.

She steps down and there are three standing full donuts here on the plate. I got some for baking. Why did you eat so many before you came back? I only grabbed the three. Your face is covered in glaze. by all of the gods in the dim wood just kill me I said I only grab

and there's also powdered sugar too and I don't see a powdered sugar donut either they were just hanging on the wall right there ready to be pulled off is that an eclair film? Oh yeah the girls love their powdered sugar in the back I can't cartel that's shanedicinosaurs.

We single-handly tanked to the Dunewood made this the most vile place in all the multiverse. This is our fault. We did this. We did do this. Uh... I think your dad's gonna be okay. All right.

He's right there. Yeah. Dad, look, I know you said you needed some time to get the place ready for us tonight. Uh, wow, we won't keep you, but stay out of trouble, all right? We gotta get you. Shout of this. Okay. It's, it's, you don't

gotta worry about your dear old dad. You can, I'll get the, I'll get the apartment ready and we'll have plenty of room. God. I'm gonna,

here's my spare key in case, uh, all right, thank you. Yeah, you know where it is. Okay. I'm gonna get it, uh, it's good seeing, you good meeting you. Uh,

it's gonna be fine, Booker. Don't you worry, okay? Alright, I'll try not to work. Yeah, and you know, maybe it's all a big misunderstanding, and I could just go talk to the dawn at the Baga-Bing, and we can, you know, talk it over a plate of a blade of clams. Goodbye, Beauregard. It's been a pleasure to meet you. Your son, he told me his name was Hank for like weeks.

That's a good alibi. Good kid. You're good. I learned from the best. Okay. Goodbye, Mr. T. Raccoon. We'll see you tonight. kids. I'll see you soon. I'll see you soon. He walks out very clearly believes he's got us like a swollen eye. He's roughed up. Man what are we gonna do? Oh! What's the going on? Why y'alli is that tapioca pudding? Please tell me his tapioca pudding. It's uh, it's tapioca pudding.

I lie, I lie, I'm lying. Oh, thank you. Just tapioca pudding. Nothing to worry. I sketched my chair like farther away from Brumley. Just have yucca pudding. Oh no. I mean look, even if, you know, even if I got back to scamming people, there's no way I can make 15,000 clams in three days. 15,000 clams in three days? That's right. You know the way you could get that kind of money is with a heist.

A heist? Oh my god, Bitsy, you're brilliant. What? A heist. We could just steal. steal all of that money. That's the only way you're going to get that kind of money there. One lump sum.

From the casino riverboat. That's right. The only place in Muckbed that's going to have that much money in one place is going to be the riverboat. You mean the hungry catfish riverboat? That's right. Huh. We might be on to something here. Well, but aren't heists illegal?

Mr. Chanticle? And they require a ton of planning. I say they are illegal and I wouldn't endorse doing crime without a ton of planet. Do we have time for another planning if we only have three days? I don't know. I don't know. And here's the thing. The heists would have to go off flawlessly.

They have to know that we were never in there. They have to not realize that a single clam was missing. Because if they know that the money's gone, and then my dad shows up with 15,000 clams the next day, they're going to put two and two together. No, that's why you gotta get a fall guy. And it's gonna be saying good night here. Oh, good night. That's very good. Thank you.

Oh. What if Sunny was our fall guy? Who? Ned's brother. Just destroying Ned's whole family. I mean, just chopped them all right at the tree. Branch by branch.

He has a clear motive. He would want to steal the money to post bail. Didn't that didn't fucking battered the weasel of the fox or whatever, so his bail was like hundreds of thousands of gold pieces? Oh, yeah, that guy was in way worse than we were. He was like the head of a revolution. He's a violent revolutionary, is what they said.

And so Sonny would naturally want to bail his brother out. Yeah, once he comes to find that the Don's not doing it. Well, I hate to suggest such a thing. I can't believe I even had that fault. It doesn't have to be your first plan, but it's an option. We'll need an alibi. You just tell people that you're at a spelling bee. They never question it.

No one wants to go to a spelling bee. They're like, oh, yeah. Sounds great. I have to write that one down. That's pretty good. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avatrous and gain access to tons of exclusive perks,

including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over saltmarch. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. You're discussing a heist as Peggy shakes the goods and the feet. As, uh, um, I don't, I won't say the Weasel's name.

Probably for the best. But the weasel is really enjoying it. And Peggy, make another performance check. Oh, yeah. At advantage. Because of this new development. She's done very well. Nine.

Nine. I'm tired. You get three more gold pieces. Yes, 18 gold pieces. As you were all planning a heist, discussing the fight, discussing the fall guy, you talk about Ned, you talk about Nestor, you talk about Sunny,

You talk about the dawn at the alleged apparently hangs out, not just at the headquarters of the Riverfolk Company, but also the Baga Bing. Look, I don't want to belabor the point here. But, you know, maybe a heist isn't the right direction. I think it's a solid backup plan. How was it we going to get the money? I don't know. Well, I have to think. Any time to think about it.

We have a couple days. Well, I say, Booker, not only do we have to come up with the money, but we have to find a believable way to get it to your father. Right. Right. For what it's worth, the river company probably won't care where the money comes from, provided it doesn't get traced back to them. They just want the money. You know? Oh, do they run that floating casino? Good question. I think back to the history of my knowledge of Muckbet Creek. Who owns and operates the hungry catfish? Make a history check at a advantage. We roll dice here.

Natural 20. Oh. For a total of 24. 24. You know that you know that there is that while the

Brewerfolk company owns most of the clearing, that the hungry catfish specifically is owned by a very entrepreneurial alligator known as the grinning center. As, uh, as, uh, it seems to be where he is

friendly with and does deals with, but is not owned by. Well, yeah, I mean, they don't own it. That's the good news. The river folk, they don't own it. Just some crocodile guy. Name is not important right now. Well, so if, uh, if we were to put off this year, I asked on the, on the hungry catfish, I mean, we aren't robbing from people were paying back. I don't love it, but I don't see how else would come up with 15,000 claims, I'll say, I'll say. And then they wouldn't care. Maybe they'd be like, oh, who gives her fuck that you robbed that weird crocodile guy. Now it's all money.

Now, backup plan, back up plan, all right? It's a good, solid backup plan. We only have free days. If we were going to steal a bunch of money, we wouldn't want to steal exactly what what your dad owes. We want to make sure that it was a lot more. I mean, this is our chance to get really, really rich in the process. We don't need to get super wealthy or anything. I'm just saying that that's the best way to... To obfuscate. But again, it also has to go off without a hitch.

No one can know that it's happened. Otherwise, the suspicion will immediately be thrown on my dad. Precision timing. We'll talk about it. What we need is like a real sick-ass montage. We're like, maybe we spend tonight and tomorrow planning everything out.

Maybe like two days, right? And we can do kind of this cool time skip where we plan it all out. And then as we're doing it, You can narrate the whole thing as if you're telling us the plan, but then the viewer will be watching it play out. The only way that we can do that is if we had a set of bongos. Oh!

No, it doesn't quite work. Oh, that's right, and we'll have to kick it off with the... All right, here's the plan. We all come together. But then I don't say anything, and the camera smash cuts to that scene. Yeah. Let me try this. No, it's not quite right.

Don't use your fingernails, use the pads of your fingers. I don't think that that's good. that that's gonna... See, it's too low. It's too low. The pitch isn't right. Oh, speaking of, I miss my banjo. I gotta get another instrument. What are you gonna get? I don't know.

Just another banjo? I would like that, yes. That's what I know how to play best. Well, it's very unlikely to sell banjos here in this clearing. No, no, I think it's actually very likely if we can find... The problem is the money. I need money. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I need another drink. At least we have a place to crash tonight.

Yeah. Yeah. Sean Cloud, you seem awfully interested in breaking the law, even though you're a criminal lawyer. Where are you a criminal lawyer? Well, I'm a little bit of both, to be honest with you, if the pays right. Unfortunately, you all paid me in IOUs, so I can't help you out with this here problem. I don't like breaking the law, but if you're going to, you might as well understand it to a great deal. So if anybody tries to say, hey, you're breaking the law.

You just start talking about the law, ad nauseum, and then usually they get so bored they just walk away. That's pretty smart. Well, it's exactly right. That's why I got the lawyer in in the first place. If this was Wuff-Rup, you'd have the ability to blather at people. It'd be amazing we could both do that. We'd have people dazed for years. Whoa, is that a roll you could make?

It's kind of an ability and a roll. It's a lot of different things. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to roll a D-100 about it right now and see what I'll get. Luke fuck is a wuff-rup. A 55, does that pass? On all the craziest things we've said,

that's the question that you have? Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. That's not a word. I'll tell you what a wuff is if you tell me what's under your hutch. I can't tell you that. Why not? Because it's a secret.

There's a difference between me telling not. No, that doesn't make sense. You're just making that shit up. Maybe I have, maybe I'm not. Fitzie, you're going to have to sleep on it. Think about it. Mull it over, chew on it. Let me know what you're thinking.

You want a donut? I do not. want a donut. In fact, get that away from me. They're still warm. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm good. Nope. Please remove that from the vicinity of me. I could go get you a donut. I'd have to be one of these. Don't even think about it, really. Don't ever think about it again. Don't offer it. Don't tell me. I don't want to know. Appreciate it.

I think you watch a donut, but he's too afraid to ask. Well, I don't know. He seemed pretty adamant that he didn't want any of your donuts. You want a donut? No, no. I think you can just hold on to him. You look like you're enjoying them quite a bit. I wouldn't want to take the experience away. from you. So now what? What do we do? Well, we have to wait for Peggy to get back after her...

Oh, surely one hundred fifty-five minutes. She put on one hell of a shelf. At this point, you feel Peggy, like you could, you could get your, you could also try to keep working for tips. Yeah, Peggy's just going to keep working for tips. Okay. And also... Roll another performance show.

Boy, she is. is popular. At advantage because he's still there. Oh yeah. Look at a go. Look at a go. And it's only like 5.30. We've still got like an hour and a half before whatever the fuck he said earlier.

The hot toddy, but he wanted it cold. That's cold. Oh, 17. Because at this point, now the feet are sweaty. Oh, I actually brought my very large red high heels. Make another 23 gold pieces worth. Over the next two hours. Director Ferret Wizo's very intimate.

So that's on top of the 18? That's on top of the 18? Yeah. Damn. Yeah. That's very high. Ferret Wizo. That's very funny.

It's very funny. Exactly right. He's from the Hollywood. Very clever. And so it's at this point that the evening show, it's starting to get pretty crowded here. As the evening shift is going on, the changeover for the A, the B to A, maybe A minus, B minus to A minus tier, clientele is there. And at some point, I need you, Sean Claude to make a perception check.

Not Sean Cloud. John Cloud. John Cloud. John. John. Because you were looking at it. You rolled away from Derek but that time it didn't work did it well I rolled me up or half So 13 up 13 you don't see him walk in but as you're enjoying your drinks and you look over

You see as the the large center table with the river reserve for the verpro company VIPs You hear the hootin and hollering of none other than Jean Luke as he's sitting at the VIP table. I say, I say, take it off. Show me the goods. And you hear that from all from the VIP table. Is that my stand up? Is that my no good suffering flim flamber

brother's home Luke? Flimbleming you say? Mm-ts, mm-s, ins. It's very loud in here. I storm over to his table. pounding my feet into the ground. I'm right behind, I'm right behind Sean Cloud.

Oh, say, I say, Jean Luke, what in the hell are you doing here in the fox? Oh. Immediately two large otter bouncers. What? Get in your way.

As, uh, as he says, now, now, don't know, we don't need to make a scene. Don't worry, uh, Mr. Statio and Mr. Piss. What?

Okay, thank you. Whatever your name is. This is just my dear, dear disbarred brother, Jean-Claude. Hi, what are you doing in a fine establishment such as this? Well, I'm doing in a fine establishment such as this because you taxed frauded it on my money away. And now my house, my vacation home, which is definitely not normally damp and under the basement of a...

a Airbnb is now born and up. Oh yes, I will savor the results of my identity theft as I savor my mint jule. This guy sucks. Oh, you are the worst kind of gentleman, my brother, Jean-Luc, and what are you doing thrown in with a guy named Mr. Piz? Just the company I would normally

expect you to keep you rap. That is questionable and best. Jean-Claude, I do not name the goons. I don't know if that is even his name. That's what all of the wise guys call him. That is an unfortunate gangster name. Let me tell you, that sucks. I need to be that guy.

I think it's because the other guy's name is Tarshia. That doesn't mean any better. And that is unbelievably clear for you. Of all people, for you to be that having a moment of clarity. I'm very good of puzzles. Well, you'll see now, you'll see there's Mr. Pierce, Mr. Stasio, and then of course Mr. Moe and Mr. Lester. Nope.

Anyway, we take him. Do you want me to take him out? Well, well, now, bitchy, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I mean, he is my brother. So absolutely. Yes, but save it for outside. Well, you would not dare to harm some way an accountant's under the employer of the Riverfolk Company, would you? You under the employer of the Riverfolk Company?

You haven't hold down a job in all the years I've known you, you know, good bum. Well, all I know is to say that they needed someone who can find a good loophole. Oh, damn it, he was always good at finding a loophole. getting around the tax policy of the Erie. Oh, tax account, I mean, of course, of course they'd be looking for the worst. I say worst, I mean murderers, thieves. The Erie Tax Code hasn't been overhauled in nice centuries, and I spent while you were out partying and enjoying your law school parties.

I studied the Erie Tax Code and the Blade. This guy is pure cringe. Where did our fans come from? Oh, crap. Our tax money's paying for that. Oh, now I know why that one Hollywood exec is here. That's funny. That's funny.

It's funny. It makes a lot more sense now. Listen, don't let your brother torture you. He clearly doesn't have the understanding of the importance of family. Oh, bitchy, he's just got away again under my skin, seeing as how he commits so many crimes directed directly at me. Oh, yeah, he commits so much crimes! Oh, exactly right.

I've taken you for all your worth. I've gotten you disbarred and your home dispossessed. You got me disbarred and dispossessed. Exactly right. Why do you think I was stealing your identity? Well, I don't know the letter that said I was disbarred outlawed just my own crimes that had happened after you'd stop stealing my identity. So I kind of assumed it was my fault,

but it makes so much more sense than it was your fault. Did you think all those crimes that you had forgotten that you'd committed, was done while you were blacked out after drinking too many mint jolips. Oh, I knew I'd had just one too many mint jule. I'll say, I say, I say exactly right. I say, I say, you are the worst, brother, I shoulda. I shoulda.

Well, you wouldn't dare strike an accountant of the Riverfolk Company. Now, I'll say, I'll say you wouldn't dare, you wouldn't dare. No, I wouldn't dare, but would you dare step outside with me right now and throw down just as old family would. Just outside of here, the perfect most poetic backdrop of the fox's whole way. You're not brave enough.

You couldn't take your brother, no way. No, I don't think I will. I think I will enjoy my mint of misholup here with enjoying the fire in the hole special next to Mr. Bess. Oh, you're gonna get what's coming to use on, Luke. I say, I say you're gonna reap what you've sown out there in the fields. All your turncoat seeds you flanted into the ground are gonna grow into bushes. Bush is the likes of which you won't want to reap, but you're gonna have to.

Well, our family was always bad at farming. Well, that's just correct. That's why we turned to the lawyers and tax account. Exactly right. Our parents had such high hope for us and look at all. all of the scum and villain that we turned out to be. Yeah, well, we came from artists, so it makes sense. Oh, that's very funny.

Damn. Oh, I'll say, I'll say, I say, I think that you wouldn't dare draw the ire of the dawn. He and I are good acquaintances. I take him out and we enjoy the front nine Uh, every other Sunday. The equivalent Sunday. What do you do?

What's the front line? What are you playing? Oh, you do not partake in the sport of golf? You're just playing normal golf? Playing normal golf. With normalized electric golf carts. He just,

he was riding around like with a caddy and everything. The language of technology in this world. You can't just sleep in the golf. This is the gym board. It's a bunch of gophers who bloom. Gofer, we're playing gopher golf. No, we're playing Gator golf.

Gator golf. Over on the hungry catfish, they're playing Gator golf. On Mr. Lidoo's private golf course, he lets us play every equivalent of Sunday. Mr. Louis Lidoo. Well, I don't know how the Donners falling himself into a company such as yours.

He's really down the greatest. Well, I say if you do not have any good hobbies, I would recommend A gate of golf, give it a whack. Well, I think I will. Give it a whack and see if I can't send it on, but I love that one brother's tagline is, I'll get you off, and the other one is give it a whack.

That's right, oh my God. He's spending too much time with the mind because he's going to get whacked off. Before you go, my dishonored and disgraced brother, Oh, you're Check out my new business card. Oh no. It is pristine.

There's a watermark. It is the fine tastefulness. It's so crisp. The tastefulness of the lettuce. The perfect symmetry. Is that a watermark? And the phone. Dem with dynamite.

A bold choice. That's mold trots. You can keep it, John Carl. Damn, he's just stunned on him. I got plundee printed at skinkoes. Tinkos. I'm going to enjoy my nice plate of gobble goo. Oh, there it's Theresa Turkey's coming on to the scene.

Gobble, gobble. He's sit back down as the goons step back in. Just walk away. Just walk away. Well, I will walk away, Bitsy. Not without doing this. Roxy. Oh yeah. What's up, honey? I'd like to send over a little something special to my brother. Here, it is the gentleman sitting right over there. Oh, Jean-Luc. Yeah. I know Jack who is going to love. Gene Luck. That's exactly right. Address him as such when you get to the table. Okay, what do you want? I'd like to send him two sloppy daddies.

Oh, the big sloppy daddy. Yep. You have to say it. I would like to send him. That's how I gotcha. I would like to send him. Big sloppy daddy badass burger with badass banging sauce. Two of the big sloppy daddy

bad ass burgers with the badass banging sauce. That's good. I didn't expect you to get it. That's kind of an insult, huh? Robin, you're being mean. That comes with a bag of chips. Is that okay? No, I'd like to upgrade them to the Monster Mashed, double monster spooky extra special fries.

With the voodoo sauce on top. Oh, I thought for sure you just a sloppy sauce. That is on the menu, surprisingly. Okay. And for dessert, I'd like you to send him a plate of your finest glazed doughnuts, but hold the donuts. You know how much that costs. Well, that's okay. He's an honor guest. You just put it on his dad.

Make a persuasion check. 19. Nice. Okay. Whatever you say, honey, she struts off. Well, thank you, doll. You've been a jam. So have you. Her gray tail kind of flitsy it at you. Can we leave now? Oh my God, John Claude. Was that your brother? That was him, the no good scoundrel.

I may have come up with a new plan. What? What? I don't know what you're gonna say, but I like the with the strange ogre in your eyes. I would say it's telling me about this time Peggy would show up. Now that the A team is up on the stage. Yeah. She would have been removed.

He would look at you like. Yeah. Okay. Peggy. That was amazing. Yeah, you are unbelievable. You are such a dancer. What a feat.

I didn't know somebody could eat Tachbioka with their feet. Thank you. Did you like how even though I'm a cartoon frog? I had photo realistic human feet. How do you do that? That was magic. Had to be magic. Well, I am the creator of the world.

Did you hear that Jean-Luc has photorealistic golf cards? Really? Yeah. He's here? He's right over there. I'm so glad you shot up when you did. We got a new plan. I got a new plan.

Did we have an old plan? Well, the old plan was a heist. Well, we were going to do a heist. Maybe. We might still do that. Well, officially we have a backup plan on its ice stand. Wait, for what? Peggy, we're not doing a heist.

For what? What do we need to do a heist for? I got to steal money. Why? because my father is an unbelievable amount of debt. Oh, debt sucks. I made a lot of money showing off my feet to a bunch of pervert.

How much? Oh, well. Forty-one gold pieces. All right, we only need about 14,939 more gold pieces. I don't, yeah, all right. So, I think the plan is. Yeah, I know, I think that's, yeah. Do you have any idea how much organs sell for

on the black market? Yes, exactly. We can murder and kill and butcher your brother for his organs. What, Booker, no. We're not gonna kill anybody. I draw the line at stealing from somebody. But if we're gonna do a heist, we gotta frame someone for the heist.

Well, we, that's the thing is that we can't even really have a heist because if they notice that the money is missing and then we give all the money to my dad, then they're gonna know that they're gonna pin the heist on him. Here's the thing, Bucay. I have no problem with you wanting to kill Jean-Luke, but his body's- so riddled with mint jolips.

I think if you were to pull out his organs and look a little bit like Swiss jeez. Who does he own the money to? The Riverfolk. The Riverfolk Company. Oh. You mean like those those audit guys that are there with your brother?

Yeah, the mafia. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so what if we just, what if we steal the money from them but we frame your brother for doing it? Because you guys look exactly the same, right? And we give them back their own money? And then we give them back to your own money.

They're going to know. But no, we beat him up and take the money back and we say, hey, we don't have the money that he owed you, but we brought back the money that was stolen by John Luke. So... It's not a bad thing. That might be slightly about heist. We're getting an order of operations here. This is good. Or at the very least, we can just frame John Luke since he's done all this horrible stuff to you.

If you want, I can take my clothes off, put my clown mask on, and go up there and give him a lap dance and see what I can steal from him. I got the Polar Roads right here. That's a plan even above the freight. Look, we're getting that. We're getting that. The only reason I bring up murdering him in the first place and then selling his organs piecemeal for lots of money. I like it too, ma'am. And please don't be mad.

But the other day, actually it wasn't that long ago, when I threw the banjo into the room, I was so angry. I was so mad at everything that had happened to us that I may have cursed him for life. I prayed that Nightcare himself would strike down your brother. and all of the other people that have wronged us. That was only 15 hours ago.

He was even less than that, to be honest with you. That was like three hours ago. That was when we were walking over here. I'd just been so angry that it felt like an attorney. You prayed the night here. Just curse my brother? And a strange creature came up and took the banjo down into the depths.

I made eye contact with that slimy bastard. Not here is real? I'm not sure what I don't know, but I know what I saw. I don't even know if I know what I saw. I'm just worried about stealing from the guys that beat up your dad so bad. I don't want to alarm you. But if we need him dead, there's a way.

No, no, I'm not going to entertain this, all right? We're not going to kill anybody. I'll entertain it. Hit me. If we want him dead, I can peggy him to death. What does that mean? I mean, it's really what's written on the tin. What? All I gotta do is get in there.

He's, look at him, look at him, cat-calling, howling at that turkey. I say gobble, gobble, gobble, I'll see. He looks like he'd fall for a little weed and strange in a heartbeat. I can get him into a dark room. Unleash my magic on him, you know what I mean? Peggy, I almost forgot. He looks like the kind of guy that's going to take, what, two minutes? It's done.

The donuts that are we stopped. Oh, cool. Oh, these ones are a cream sauce. stop. Oh no. Look, whenever we decide, whatever we decide, we don't have to make a decision right now. We got a little bit of time.

And how much? We got three days. That's all we got. Wait, we got three days to find 15,000 gold pieces. Clams. That's why the organ. Not even gold pieces, clams. What's the exchange rate between gold pieces and clams? Very unclear.

You don't want to know. Mostly you don't want to know because we don't know. Hey, Roxy. Yeah. You're a business, Oni. You got to do some exchanges every once in a while, right? Yeah. If I gave you, like, 41 gold pieces, but I wanted some back in clams.

Like, how many clams would I get for 41 gold pieces? It's really unclear. I'm right, that's what I figured. The problem is it's really unclear with the exchange. It is. It is. It's unclear. That's why. If we steal from Mr.

what was his name? Lidoo. Lidoo. Oh, the guy who owns the hungry catfish, yeah, yeah. Well, then we're not stealing from the otters. So even if they found out

that it was a heist, they won't care because they get all the money. Yeah, we could just frame John Luke for stealing from the riverboat. Yeah, or Sonny. Why Sunny?

That little freak. You just looked like we deserved it. That cocky little creep. Brumly coming a lot. here, guys, look what? Who knew? That he had a dog streak in him. Good for you, grubby.

Wow. Just put four-limes patties and beef in him and he just wants frame free. He's coming alive. He's got that dog. He's got that. No, I should say that. But if we need to frame somebody, you know,

we know his brother Ned. That's a little freak. Yeah, was kind of weird, and I didn't care for him very much. So his brother who does hoists with him probably similarly nasty and unkind. If we're gonna frame anybody, I think it should be Sean Cloud's brother.

Yeah, he's got his rooster ring out. We got a, gross. We got a few options for viable people that we can pin this on. For sure. We should pin it on both of them. Maybe they were accomplices. They were working together.

Yeah. Oh, that's a great idea. Oh, I could dress like Joan Luke and one of you could dress like that cocky little free. and we could take a couple polaroids of us robbing the hungry cats. Oh, I thought that was going to go a completely different direction. You're naughty-noty roosting. I thought you were to talk about getting him off.

Wow, you are a deviant roost. I'm going to tell you. Oh, I'm referencing the first plan we had. Oh, yeah, references on plan. That's right, pal. I see what you're doing. Do you still have polaroids? Yeah, I got polaroids all sorts of stuff. All right, I'll make sure I got cream later. Let's go to your dad's

All right, all right. He said he needed some time to clean up. I think he's had enough time and we'll have a nice place where we can at least rest for the evening and we'll tackle this problem fresh and new when the sun is shining and we're like, new people.

How's that sound? I'm tired. Me too. I'm full of big sloppy daddy. He was such a way with words, Bitsy. I appreciate you. I hope you know that. Yeah, your belly's practically bursting with big sloppy daddy.

Man, it's all over your face. In beer. I should have gotten that. It was really good. Really fills you up. With what you've done tonight, you're not going to be able to poop for weeks. Why not? Oh, sit down.

Why are you walking so crooked? You guys are crazy. I'm going to go get more donuts. What's that clapping? What's that clapping? We leave. We leave the foxhole. Why are all those donuts hanging up on a sausage?

We leave. We go to Booker's father's studio apartment. All right, guys, this is going to be great. It's going to be just like the old times. That's what my mom left, and I spent the weekends with my dad, and it was going to be. It was great. We watched movies, and we eat popcorn.

It was great. It was going to be awesome. It was just like the old times. And I go up to where this place is, and I use the spare key to try to let myself. It's a little bit smaller than I remember. I try to let myself in. Yeah.

You do. you open it and describe the studio apartment. Oh, geez. That you find that your father has... I think that Booker would remember it very differently than it is. Absolutely. It would be kind of run down, ramshackle. He probably would have just moved into it

when you right before you left. So, yeah. When you walk in the front door, you're like walking into the small studio kitchen. That's the first thing you see is there's, you know, there's a tiny little like half, you know... An oven face is. the door.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, like, as soon as you walk in, you're in the kitchen. Please tell me there's a dirty futon. Well, yeah, there's definitely, there's definitely... A lava lamp in the corner. There is, like, one bedroom, but like, that's really it, and you can tell that, like, the living room has some space to, like, lay down some, some, uh, some cushions and...

Yeah. And, but, like, you know, it's kind of cramped. There's boxes. There's boxes everywhere. There's boxes. It's dimly lit. There is a pot. a pot of half-finished mac and cheese.

Yeah. On the cook stove. Yeah, it might have been sitting there for a while. Yeah, there's the, you feel like it's the same bugs that you had seen at the foxhole. We're all kind of buzzing around it. They're all enjoying eating it. And you all make your way inside.

It's incredibly cramped. It'll be very, it's tiny. Smaller than I remember. It's absolutely tiny. There is it a lava lamp. It's really kind of like this glass jar, but it's felt like swamp muck that goes up I wish you'd made it like straight off of orders.

No, it's not the vibe. That's not the vibe. It's definitely like single dad. Yes. It's a really sad single dad vibe. It's like there's only one thing on the fridge and it's a magnet that holds up two coupons. Is it?

Oh, that's right. And the whole expired. Yeah. For the cheeseburger special of the Foxhole. I'll open the door to the bedroom. Oh wow, your dad sleeps in a race car. That's really cool. Whoa.

What the hell? That doesn't make any sense. And you find a note on the counter of the studio apartment. Pick it up. You do and you read and it says, Son, I didn't want to have to get you all mixed up in this. So I'm not going to be back tonight. I'm, I got a plan.

Don't worry. Your old man is smarter than he looks. I'm finally going to do. go to the hungry catfish and bet it all and win big. And that is we're on the session. Nice for another session, Mike. Oh, that's fun. Shit.

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