Legends of Avantris - Uprooted | S2E6 | Analysis Paralysis

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

The gang has a tough decision to make. They turn to a tried and true method to help them, democracy...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/uHooMM_E-iE?si=z8SFPiVjktMvQvqb

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Booker and you're listening to Uprooted. Here's what happened last time. There's a ritual going on downstairs. It looks real, real, like spooky magic. I think they're trying to sacrifice that poor, that poor guy to the night here. I guess we could just play some more ten-pin bowling eventually. Oh, I'm being sacrificed to night here.

Let's go behind those pins and see what we can find. All. Five of you are together. Oh, no, it's a guy that died. Please, please. Fine. Have a seat in my table and enjoy of my clans. Thank you.

I have youth of a bunch of drifter vagabonds that nobody never cared about. Nobody's gonna miss us since we died. I will be happy to forgive your father's immeasurable death to my family. What are you saying is that if we do a favor for you or some kind of job, We just help you and Book his dad's gonna be okay?

That's exactly right. What I need is a bunch of disposable grifters to commit a political assassination and pledge their fealty to my family and perhaps an ancient Eldridge Fishgarden. Donovan, where can we find this master beat? His name is Judge Hooty Nathaniel the Blofish. All sit at the table after hearing this name. Judge Hootie Nathaniel, the Blowfish, as Don Gawabagoole continues to root around.

He kind of pushes, you watch him eat a little bit, and all he is eating a lot, he spends a lot of time pushing the food around with his fork weirdly, and his knife, and he's almost like playing with his food in a weird way. As you see this, and he calls for more wine, And he says, I'll give you some time to think about it. Thank you.

And by time, I mean, you have to decide here. Because if not, we'll have to make some extreme measures, is all I'm going to say. You already disgustingly lick your ring? Oh, you did. He did. That's right. I'm sorry. Too much wine.

Yeah, my sons are trying to say, they're trying to put me into a home. They're saying my mind is going, and I say, that's crazy. That's crazy. Going where? Anyway, anyway Oh, it's going Gosh, gosh, where was it going? Probably down to the track.

Oh, this is just sad. I don't know. I don't know. My doc says that my mind is sharp, although I got to stay away from the orange groves. The what? The orange groves. You should stay away from them?

Yes. Why? I don't know about us, but he said his doctor should work as one him about staying away from the hunt. But are they just dangerous like in general? I don't know. He's got an orangeality. That's my docs and I should avoid frolicing with my grandchildren by the oranges. You shouldn't listen to doctors.

They don't know what they're talking about. That's what I said. I completely ignored his advice. You should probably go to the orange groves with your grandchildren right away. No, but then I spoke with Quasimodo. Oh, yeah? And predicted. that my end would come at the hands of the orange growth.

Either way, it's very rude to ask people about their personal hospital problems, okay? Oh, do you want to, are you curious about when the last time I went, I just had a colonoscopy? Have you ever done one of those? I swear, I do think it's a little different when he offers the information. All right, if you say so. Oh, my gosh, they give you a, they give you a cup of, uh, what's it, I let me tell you. And you are on the can, Phil. Two days.

And you... Two whole days. And you get shit. And you shit. It is unbelievable. Let me tell you that. It is unbelievable. How much you shit.

You think there's no way that I could shit this much. Where the conversation is going now. Can I have more tear and me, Sue? Oh, me, James. I'm going. I'm going. Okay, here we go. This has been a sobering conversation.

Tomling gleaming. So when are we going to get this, this, this hits, this assassination? When are we going to pull this off? When's this guy going to be here? What are we going to get alone? I mean, give us some details here. What's he looked like?

He is the judge. He's the magistrate of this clearing relatively recently. All right. I love it. Are you all right? Keep doing that. This is my kid, brother. It sounds like you're going to puke.

He was so young. What are you doing? Are you in pain? Are you gagging? Do you need help? Sir? Sorry, my therapist says, I struggled to express emotions.

I'm trying to wistfully mourn the death of my kid brother, Salami. What are you feeling right now? Well, my jaw hurts a little bit. It looked like, I got a little gas. It was like, it was the left side of your jaw? Oh my gosh, it is. You shooting pains down your left arm? Yeah.

That doesn't sound very good. What do we do, Booker? What do we do? Bixie, fix him. I don't know if we do anything. No, I'm fine, I'm fine. Quasimodo didn't predict that I would die amongst Muckin' clans. Yeah, he's going to die in an orange groove.

Uh, who? Also, I'm sorry, I'm asking a lot of questions. Who's this Quasimoto guy? Where's he? Can we meet him? That sounds like a cool guy. He does the future. It predicts a lot of stuff, right? Quasimodo is my personal deformed soussame.

Oh, that's right what it says on the tent. All right. Do you not have one? Where is he? Can we meet him? I'd love to just, you know, maybe get to know him a little better. Is there a Mrs. Quasiello? No, there's not.

According to the ancient text, laying with someone, diminishes the prophecy of truth sight and sorts of sight. Also, he's fucking deformed. Didn't you hear that? You don't need to lie down. Spirondy. Bitsy's a pervert. Holy smokes.

Well, I don't think there's any idiot. Turns out the purpose of the place way. Wait, do you not have a personal sous there? No, we don't. Oh, my goodness. Certainly not one is the phone.

One that can see the future. I generally do not dying with the pores, so I don't not know what the pores have and what they do not. Bitsy says some really cryptic shit sometimes, She's also, you know, kind of in one piece.

Are you there personal deformity? No, I tried to see the future once, but it's just all present all the time. No physical deformities over here. Mantle on the other hand. Well, that's what Quasimodo does. He will be, like I said, if he'd like to meet him, he will be in my grandson's christening.

I would like to know my future. I mean, is that a possibility? Does he do? Yeah, if he does know, he can see the future. What's that process look like? That is how... Oh, I was... You are not high enough as in the order of night here to get such information.

No, I mean, if he's going to tell our futures, what's that look about? What's going to happen? It's a very interesting... He's not going to lick all my toes or anything, right? That seems... No, he makes these beautiful works the art. Oh, he paints. Beautiful work...

No, no. He does not paint. He's a stu-sayer of the high sort of... No, no. Ceramics? No, are you kidding? Macaroni art. Glashblown.

How did you know? Just had a feeling, you know, it seems on theme with the Italian restaurant. This is the piece. We predicted my demise. And we had to, we interpret what he does. You just got to be able to... It's a bunch of multi-colored macaroni. That's wonderful.

There's like a bit of orange ones here and there. One of his posse-modo is very talented. Yeah, one of them falls off. Very talented. And you saw your demise in that photo, in that picture, that macaronia. You sing. Is it bad? Are you saving that for later?

No, we're not cooking it. Oh. This is my doom on the product. I ain't have my lemon. I don't know anything about anything, but I would guess it's probably unlucky to cook the doom pasta, you know. I can't believe your grandchildren are going to kill you with oranges. That's terrible. That made me through.

It is my faith all the thing. But at least for now, we have such a beautiful friend. We have Clams Casino. We have the Galamad. We've got brajone. Okay. We've been eating for R2 rounds.

We only just started. Oh, okay. It's like four in the morning. This is the only chance I get to eat. I'm a busy man. I'll have some golf. Alamoid, I suppose. Okay, there we go.

You all look so thin, especially. Oh, you all look so skinny. Eat, eat, eat, eat. Okay. Manja. Well, I suppose to play it. So we got to kill some guy, huh? Oh, yeah.

That son of a bitch. Does it need to look like an accident? Can we just do it? And then you'll make sure that we get off and no problem? Well, if you can make it look like an accident, great. But if you need to murder him, in Bronx Dana Lane. The good news is you're a bunch of drifters

what nobody cares about. So if the area takes you and executes you, nobody's gonna care. Well, I, we would be... It's a win-win. We would care. We'd care a lot. I don't want to be executed. Then you better make you look like an accident.

All I'm saying, I don't make any fucking difference to me. Do you have any, like, macaron garlic on them? Oh. Do you have any of that shake cheese? Oh, butter noodles? Yeah. Okay, yeah, I got a goon who only is butter noodles.

His name is Sonny. He's a good kid. What? You haven't, you have any chicken tendies or something? No offense. Oh. Well, no, we don't eat chicken here. We're not barbaric.

Oh, well, I'm a frog, so. Yeah, no, we have conch fritters. Is that the same thing? What, fritters? conch fritters we got the from they bring the the shells that from great's any like deep fried flies or anything I get oh yeah we got the deep yeah we got any ketchup we got french fry yeah I mean we got gravy right here some good enough great you need some ketchup this is gravy yeah yeah it's my it's my grandma's recipe

but don't don't believe of the point he's gonna freak out I just feel it in my boss it's it's not really great it's just sauce but he's gonna lose his bad damn mind bring that up. Oh, all right. Just, okay. Let him have this. Okay. Oh, delicious gravy, sir.

That's right. Thank you. Just like... That's tomato sauce. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Excuse me. It's similar to ketchup,

which is what I was asking for, but it's just plain old tomato sauce. Does that come out of a can? Is that ragu? Do you know what my dear grandmama then? to develop the perfect gravy? No.

Can you not taste the beautiful symphony of ingredients in that? Well, if you put some gravy on the table, I'd be more than happy to try it. The gravy is fine, and it was made on the equivalent of a Sunday. I will have no more talk of gravy in this table. Okay. Well, I suppose you will have to figure out how you will murder the magistrate.

What kills him? Well, I heard they need very weak to having his throat slit. Oh, yeah. Some people have terrible allergies. They try right away. He's got a weakness today? I've also heard that he had a weakness

from being set on fire, that that usually would do the trick. What about to being stabbed with a sword? Oh. I'll have to consult Quasimodo about this. What about his ear? Oh, no, go ahead.

Oh, I was just going to say, is he particularly susceptible to poisons. Yeah. Oh, poisonings. Yeah, we could sneak into his room and, like, be all quiet and in the ceiling, and we could lower down a little tiny string, and then a single drop of poison

could drop in his ear while he sleeps and he'd be dead right quick. Well, what about if he just happened to succumbed to everybody's hated internal combustion? Oh, that's very interesting. Internal combustion engine, I've not thought of this. It's worth noting. I've never met it.

I think that if you can make it painful, and if you say salami gabagool sends his regards from the grave, you motherfucker. Oh, should we kill him on the toilet? That's kind of cool. Oh, it would be very humiliating. We can sit him on fire and start him. than his thrown on the toilet.

After we drop poison into his. Well, the poison, not the poison thing. I've never met a blowfish in person, but they say that they're poisonous. He might have a resistance. Oh. Oh. Wait, he's a... I thought he was an owl.

Was he a blowfish? His name is Hooty. No, it's a bloof. I thought that was just his last name. The owl. It's a family name. It's a very common owl family name. Wait, wait, you're telling me this guy's a bird?

What kind of a name is the blowfish? There aren't fish people in there. the setting. I saw one. I saw one. Look, Booker, I know you said you did. I did. I've never seen a fish person. That seems, you know, we don't have to have this conversation. In honesty, I think that the ancestors of Mr.

the blowfish, they are former worshippers of night here and have been banished from the cult. They took on the name of his sacred animal, a fish. And they have not paid their dues to make it to level 27 in the order. And so they were banished and don't get to go on the cruises no more. Oh, have you signed up for this order? Is there like a form you fill out and send it the mail? There, you must sacrifice the grain deal.

You're like what? How many people? Oh, I meant like it's like a $20. Oh, no, that's what I meant too, yeah. And then every month, you know, if you want to basically go up, you have to pay more every month. And so the more you pay, the more esoteric knowledge you get. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And only the elders who you pay the money, too, really know what 90s have. What's the most esoteric piece of knowledge that you purchased?

Oh, I have purchased quite a bit. You see, I do not, but I do not need to be as high as other members because I have a very very loyal Kwokimoto. Well, and if you told us, it wouldn't be esoteric anymore. I meant just like, you know, the most esoteric he was willing to pot with, like, they teach you to breathe on the water, they teach you, you know, how to bronze clubs. What level are you in the order? Yeah, that's a good question.

It goes up to level 27. Are you about that range? I'm not showing 27's the cap. I'm getting the impression. We're going on. Oh, 27. If it's like, no, if it's like a normal cult and 27's real low, you got to be number level one. That's the best one.

Oh, you want to go to one. Yeah, you go down. No, you go out. You go up. You go up. But there's no ceiling to up. Exactly right. That's crazy. Yeah, I mean, every year, the great elders of their thing, oh, there's more if you just keep it. A Black Friday thing.

You didn't answer how good friends question here. What level out are you going? Oh, me? Yeah. I'm quite advanced. Okay. What was that? I'm level eight. I'm kidding.

I'll say, I'll say, what did you say? I think he said level eight. I thought that you said level eight. Like as in less than nine. Less than nine. Not even in the double digits. I'm privy, but I do not need it. Like I said, I'm a very powerful and wealthy man.

I just need to pay homage to the great day at E90. I thought you just said the 27 was like peasant to you. Well, I mean, for someone like, someone like... For someone who doesn't have a fun. I see. Did the cults grant you the Quasimodo or is it completely unrelated to stumble upon him in the gutter? Oh, you just found it? Yes, it's the great, it's the serendipitous tradition. And if Quasimodo predict that you would only need to ascend to love it?

The holy number was eight. Oh, something about it's. Yeah, if you put four needles together and it made the shape of an age. I mean, did not make out? You know, weirdly, eight's one of the things. the only numbers you drink with macaroni. I mean, to be fair, jokes aside, though. Well, fucking giant.

Holy shit, that's funny. That's the funniest thing I never heard. Holy shit. It is the symbol of like, you know, eternity. So that also would make sense. Well, I think it's probably the macaroni thing. You see the stucerone. I thought the Quasimodo had to be...

But I do be, by being level A and being a member and all, I do get to eat. I get special access, very similar to certain exclusive clubs. I get access to exclusive merch. And I can book special locations for parties and dinners. It's like a timeshare thing. Oh, is that where you're going to have your grandson's brittenden? Exactly right. So you better join club.

Club night here. If you get special access to dinner locations, how come you're eating in a riverboat casino at 4 a.m.? Yeah, we're like in the basement here. It's kind of like muddy. This is no better. This is an exclusive, exclusive dining hall that Louis provides for people of fine standing within the clearing. You're the only one down here.

Oh, because no one else that's fancy enough. It's up at 4 a.m. wanting a full odd Pali and Mines. I said, this was 9-27 or asleep. What are the peak hours? Like, what was it look like around, you know, 5 p.m.? Oh, you know. Or the equivalent better up.

I mean, dinner rush. I mean, it's up in the cult are a little older. So, you know, it didn't rest up around four. And, you know. Line out the door and when we're talking. Yeah, maybe not out of the door. Maybe like, it's 630, 313. What's, you get it out.

Are there any sign-up promotions running currently? Oh, you might need to wait a couple weeks. I think they were doing a bake sale and fundraiser. Oh, for Labor Day? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. If you sign people up, do you get commissions on the people you sign up and then the commissions on the people that they sign up?

That's right. Are you interested? I am not interested. Well, can we see a pamphlet or a brochure? No, we don't want this. box of energy bars. Well, I'll be honest, I'm interested, but I'm only interested if then John Clod is interested

in signing up for me and using my code. Wait, well, what if I sign up first, and then I sign up, and then you can use it. It's way too dangerous for you to sign up first, Drumley. I should sign up first. Oh. And then you should use my code to make sure that it's safe. Don't do it.

And John Clott should also use my code after I make sure that it's safe. Wait, so you're gonna make sure it's safe and then we're gonna sign up through you. Yep, that's right. But not through Michigan. to go to go. No, no, no, because I'm the next step. I'm the new middleman. What if you sign me up and they all have to sign up with me?

I mean, we can talk about the details. Oh, what? Do you get, like, less of a cut? I don't know. I haven't found out yet. I haven't decided if it's safe. I have to measure it's safe. That's what, there's one more middleman. That might be better. That might be even better. I don't know. Oh, better. Oh, maybe it's better. It could be better because it's like, oh, look at, look at how. I've never really done MLM math before. How many degrees of Kevin Bacon? Right. You got to calculate the pyramid.

You gotta see how many bricks you need, you know? Oh, right, okay. Let's table this. There's an option. He said energy balls. He did say energy balls. That kind of got me going. I mean, it's four in the morning. I could use it. It is.

It is like a sign up though. I'm sobering up real quick. Oh, well, if you would like to try, you'd be able to box, really. How much, oh, much, one of us? Here you go, try it yourself. I love it myself. I hold it up.

I didn't make it this far in business. isn't it, not having good things? I'll take a big bite. What does it look like it tastes like? It is awful, dry, chalky. Does not give you any energy? You think there's sawdust. There's almost certainly sawdust in these.

This is abhorrent. Oh, it really pips you up, huh? No, it's bad. This is not good. Well, if you sign up, you can make so many sales by going to every single person that you went to high school with and haven't spoken to in 20 years. And you say, hey, you're doing well.

I want to talk to you about buy them energy bar. Don't eat the bars. They're abysmal. Don't eat them. Are you sure? Yes, it's like eating chalk but also somehow mud.

I'm pretty hungry, though. We have an entire octalians, Fred. This food's actually good. It's spaghetti right here. It's not worth the space. Eat the tiramisu. All right. I guess.

Oh, no. See? Anyway. A glass of water to wash that down. It's kind of like eating and you know, just like 400 crackers. Uh-oh. If you guys join, I'm gonna be real upset.

I start slavering really badly. You never join coach when the numbers go up, all right? It's crazy. What? Don't do it. Why? I don't know. It seems like a pretty solid deal to me.

Did you just taste that energy bar? Well, to be fair, the bar's pretty bad. But the thing about all the other people, the wealth just flows up. The wealth just flows right up. It's almost like they care. carrying it up a ladder. What?

The wealth. Oh. To get it to the top, you've got to carry it up the ladder. What? Should we focus on killing that guy? Hey, you're all right? Yeah, well, I'll eat that real fast.

Did you like some water? Can I get a cup of water? You want some of this, you can drink this tomato sauce. We need some more ice water. Oh, no, no, not sparkling. We want still. Do I have to pay extra for the bowl? bottle of sparkling. Yeah, no, he's me. I want it out of the gun. If you get, no, no, bring

the water, regular water. Just a pitcher. It's good. I mean, like, anything. Oh, you know, you'll be a bitch is here. That's a poachian. I thought this, it might be a third one. I'll be really, bring him a picture. Bring him a picture. Are we putting you out for asking for a pitcher? Geez. The waiter comes and brings a pitcher in water. Here, drink up. Come on. I'm worried about you. Come on. You know, the aftertakes is actually quite pleasant. I don't I don't want to leave for that. Has anyone

not eaten this? I didn't finish mine here. I'm not going to finish it. Save it for later. Yeah, it's really gross. I twirled on my spaghetti on this fork, and now it's too heavy to lift, and I can't eat it. What?

You see this, like, giant spaghetti ball that I've been slowly twisting over the course of the entire meal, and I'm just like... It's like... Oh, my God. What if you just left it? on your plate. No, it's all twisted. Well, what if you just leaned in and took a big

body out of the solid? Like an apple. That would not be lady-lacked. Well, that's true. Do you want some? I suppose I could take a little taste. I don't know. It's kind of weird. I don't know. It's kind of weird. I don't know. I'm not even saying it's getting any noodles is me.

You just grow up picking at it. Wow, he's really nice. Why are you scratching the carpet with the talent? No, it's a nice carpet. It's like cutting the noodles and it's slowly starting to just unravel like a ball of water. That young lady what seduced you and brought you here

gave me a little envelope. What? What? Hold on. The cocktail waitress? The fox lady, I didn't catch her name. What was the name? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I don't know. Janine or something. Okay, Janine.

I got that one in the memory bank. Let's see what she's doing, Lina. What the hell? This is horseship. What? It says that Booker T. Raccoon by giving a great sacrifice of a fucking banjo

was already level five. What? This shit is horseshit. Whoa, hold on. I didn't sign up for any of this stuff. I'm level five? What? It says right here,

Booker T. Raccoon has signed in blood. Oh, there's blood on this. Oh, my goodness. I didn't sign in anything. Well, now that I think about it, there might have been blot on the banjo. I was totally blown on the banjo. I was just trying to get rid of it. There was DNA all over that thing.

It was grubs. Yeah, it was. So I just threw the banjo with the link. I was frustrated. I was upset. I was cursing the names of all the people who wronged us. And I told you, and then a fish person came up and claimed the banjo. And you offered your treasure instrument to a...

It wasn't treasured. It was ruined. Covered in DNA? Oh, it was definitely covered in DNA. Booker, you made billions of sacrifices to not year. Is that why?

And that only gets here level five? Damn. That's why... What have you done? I was open I'd be at least 27. I mean, geez. What kind of DNA? Hard to say.

I mean, you know, a lot of perverts. We can't answer that. Because this note ends in a winky face. They tell me the fish people Freaks. You thank this.

I'm a good, married man. What does it say? I'm a married man. It says something along the lines of Booker T. Raccoon signed in blood, making a great sacrifice of one banjo is rewarded five ranks, one for each string of the banjo. What do I get for me in level five, huh? Blue me in, you're level eight. You should know.

Oh, level five? Hold on. Is there any good that's going to come out of this? Yeah, I didn't mean to do this. Oh, level five is the big one. I know you're disappointed in you, Booker. I know you're disappointed in me, but I didn't intend for this to happen.

It was just, I was angry. He couldn't have known. And I was trying to get rid of a befouled instrument. And now your soul of doom forever. This really does kind of feel unfair. Can you get me out of this? You're an attorney. There's got to be a loophole here somewhere.

I'll see the count. Here. Uh, level five gets you, uh, It gives you two points for every gold piece you spend at any cult-affiliated establishment. All right, all right. Well, like, I want some money in the casino. Maybe I can move up a level here.

Gives you a special concierge at any establishment affiliated with the cold, including the hungry cat finch. Okay, okay. Oh, oh, and when you stay at any cult-affiliated establishment, you give you get a free continental breakfast from six to 11. That's not bad. How much is it gonna cost me to go up to level six? How much it costs me to level nine?

So I can lord that over you. I, you know, you'll have to talk to one of the representatives. I just don't remember. How will I know what the representatives look like? They will find you probably. Seems like a bum deal. The breakfast goes till 11. How frequently do breakfast go to 11?

That's pretty great. That's a great deal. A good deal. All right, well, okay. We're gonna. It's very generous. We're gonna see how this pans out. Just you know, spend a little gold here and there

and we get a little influence, right? Whoa. No, if you wanna rock it to the top, we just need to perform a heist of a banjo store. Oh, okay, I'm with you. We steal all the banjos and then you throw them all on the river. We're lots of DNA all over and you'll be number one. Do you know how long it'll take to be foul all those banjos?

Oh no, we can just take it to the foxhole. How many perverts we need? I don't know if that's gonna do it. I mean, those guys are perfects, but nothing like was on that boat. But if Phyllis, the feet comes back and we do a banjo performance. Reunion tour. Yeah. And I can play the banjo with my feet, and as one is befouled, we remove it from the stage,

replace it with an unbefowled one. And by the end of the night, we've got like 15 befouled banjos, and you're like top of the list. Just think of her little piggies. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do. That was really good. What if all those banjos inadvertently end up signing up all the other patrons into this year cult? Okay.

Well, then it doesn't help him ascend the rings. What if it needs to be personalized the DNA? Wow. Were you doing weird shit to your banjo? No. Absolutely not. You said fuck. No, absolutely not.

I would never. I needed to be able to play it. As soon as it was ruined in the evidence, Locker, that was it. I couldn't play it anymore. That's why I threw it. it away. I'll miss your bandro. Me too. I've been waiting to buy a new one.

It's crazy how long this day's been. It really has been one hell of a day, hasn't it? Well, you have a room for the evening of So I have home. This also says that Louis has, Louis says pretty, pretty mean trick that you played on him. that wasn't very nice. The taxman is scary. You shouldn't joke about that.

But you still have the room because you kissed my ring. Oh. He's a good boy. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. You know, he's a good kid, 45 years old.

He has so much life left. So the whole, like, ruse with, you know, the taxes. It's all out the window? And we're just, we're moving off. Yeah, I feel like that

was probably not going to go anywhere. We are? He saw straight through me, handed me all his books. I just let me walk out the door. I tear it. I got all his books, right? I'm taking off this fucking turtleneck! Oh, maybe we just hand these over that hair concierge.

Kind of like it mine. What's it would do? Use your dad's turtleneck. I don't want it. It smells funny. Yeah, I'm definitely not taking that. It's really gross. Just put in the corner and nobody's gonna notice.

No, I brought it. It would be rude to get it. I got rid of it. Nobody can. Just throw in the corner somewhere. I got some tomatoes sauce on. Why is that turtleneck made out of latex? Oh.

That's what I'm saying. It's just your feels. I've been sweating so much. 100%. You mean this isn't Marina wool? Oh wait, there's been a hood this whole time. No. Why is there a zipper?

Oh, no. How do I look? Not good. You look like a Trinity from the Matrix. Oh. I can never like that bull-regard in the eyes again. I'll take my love to. Well, thank you for the room

and making sure we didn't get killed and asking us to kill somebody. Well, you have seen the kind of sacrifices that we do here. You understand after that poor kid that said the wrong thing, he had to be sacrificed. understand.

You're confirming that the Outland John experience met on terrible end. Oh, yeah, from what I heard, it was very, very clear that he was killed. Brutum. That's unfortunate. I kind of like that guy. He had a good voice.

He wasn't bad. He wasn't bad. What a shame. It's really a tragedy, but he should have thought about it. And we needed a sacrifice anyway. Night here devourers and consumes. It's just nasty, nasty business, but business is nasty, you understand? It's going to be nasty when you're standing over the brutalized corpse of that son of a bitch magistrate, you understand?

If we stand, I mean, if we stay. What? Fire got to throw to leave. Preferably on the toilet. On the toilet, yeah. Oh, that'll make it look like an accident. Yeah. People will just assume he had a really bad shit.

Oh. That I have had some shit that were close to that man. Yeah. Sometimes you have to shit so hard. You can throw it opens up and you burst into flames. What? Is that true? If it is, it generally will only happen once.

You know, that doesn't happen more than once. Oh, no. How do I prevent that? You can't. You can't. It'll just happen. You won't know. It just happen.

It'll be instant, and then it will all be over. and then it'll be sweet oblivion. Terrible lottery. Oh, no. Oh, I bet your Quasimodo can tell you about it. He'll let you know if that's in your future. When you meet Quasimodo, you can ask him such things. Okay, we've got to kill this car real quick.

Where is he? Where does he live? I don't want to kill Quasimodo. No, no, Quasimodo. I want to kill the Garza. Oh, yeah. I'm back. I'm back.

I'm back. I'm back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still can get over the blowfish thing. That is, like, really just a misnomer. Who is this guy? He's a judge, apparently. He's a judge.

What is he judge? He was sent from O'Cax Hollow. He was some big hot shot, magistrate trying to come in and bring true law and order and justice. And then that's why when my poor kid brother got arrested on a couple of counts of murder, and they executed him like he was just some, like he was just some animal. I want to go on record to say that I'm pretty opposed to murdering this guy, but if we just find out where he's staying, it should be pretty easy to take him out in the middle of the night.

And if he bursting the flames while taking his shit, then people will leave us all the credit. Yes. Yes, that's true. Well, I mean, are we going to sleep first? Oh, we should. Well, you know, if we're going to go with the toilet direction, it's a common thing for people to be afraid that a snake is going to come out of the toilet and latch on to your genitals.

So I think if we just put one in his toilet, then no one would be surprised. Do you think you could get your hands on a snake? I've got my hands on many snakes. Those are very dangerous. That's why people are afraid they're going to come out of the toilet. Yeah, you see in this setting, they are actually monsters and not people in this setting.

It's actually apparently. I was going to say, I don't think we're going to be out of fit a whole snake in the toilet. I mean, they are very large. I mean, well, it depends on how big its toilet is, of course. You might be able to perhaps invite him out on a hunt and have a hunting accident with a snake. Very elaborate. None of us are really hunters. He certainly give that a try. Does he hunt?

Oh, he loves to hunt. Yes, yes. He was taught by his family. They like to hunt for sport and for fun, and to show how much superior and filled with justice they are. Can you believe that? He's probably quite a dangerous fellow. if he likes to handle weapons and go on huds? Well, he likes to think so, but I think he's past his prime. Even though he's an upstart, he's chief success late in life.

He ain't a kid like my little brother. I kind of like this snake idea. I mean, it seems like him is like if he wanted to try to hide it into his toilet. Then is also impossibility. A lot of snakes to fit to a toilet. The hunting accident, believe it or not, feels, easy to accomplish. There's the toilet, spontaneous combustion throat sleeving plan.

Don't know how we're getting a whole snake in the toilet. I think they call it throat shitting. Oh, throat cheating. Yeah. Well, no, no, I'm saying, forget the toilet. I'm with you. I'm agreeing. Probably we're on the same page.

And find a snake, and just have the snake kill him and then we'll run away. Scott free. I'm with you. I agree. Well. I'm really fixated on the whole snake thing. It's wild thought. Snakes, blowfish.

I mean, I was never worried about a snake coming out of the toilet until now. Now that's something I'm going to be worried about. Oh. Even though it seems highly impossible. I mean, you would think that. Crudal. What a way to go. You know, there's a reason on curling ions.

They tell you not to put it into an orifice well turned on because things happen sometimes that are out of your control. You've lost me. You've lost me. It might seem unlikely that anyone would do something like that, but it's on the label. So it had to have happened at least once. And the same thing with snakes.

This is also another very likely accident. If you want to use a hot curling iron in an orifice, that would also be acceptable. That's something he does on regular basis. I don't think we want to go that route. I'm not sure that's what we're looking for. I'm not saying one way or the other. I'm not saying one way. It's not that way.

Booker, Booker, if we could simultaneously ruin his reputation. And his fall, I mean, people won't even care he's dead. I think the old curling iron up the wazoo. I don't know about that. I don't know about that one. You guys want to go to bed? Yeah. I guess we should, unless we want to kill the guy in the middle of the night.

Well, even if we do, we wait till tomorrow night. I mean, if that's the way we're going, but either way, if we're going hunting, I feel like we gotta get some rest first. We gotta meet this guy. We gotta convince him to go on a hunt with us. We're not gonna be like, hey man, you want to go hunting? Well, we all have very dangerous weapons. And he's gonna be like, yeah, I've never met any of you before, but that sounds great. That sounds great.

I'll just turn my back and accidentally not look at you while you're filming full arrows and bolts. I mean, we should try it just in case. Or if you want to... I'm sure, but we've got to meet him first. Well, yeah. Now that you put it that way, it seems very unlikely he'll agree. That's what I'm saying. Well, especially if he was the one that was going to preside over your trial.

There was... He's very ruthless judge. My... One of my other goons, Ned... sent a message to me, begged me to get him off. Because he said that he wasn't able to get off in jail. And they're going to send him to the clan bucket. And that's a dangerous place.

And he's afraid and he's worried that he's going to get executed by this magistrate. And he said, I believe in you, Don. I know you'll save me. And I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Wait, Ned's involved in this? Oh, no. well, he said this magistrate will probably be responsible for the execution of Ned and for that terrorist what just came in the town.

Will the deal be done if we just execute Ned instead? What? If we just kill Ned. Ned didn't do nothing to my kid, brother. But yeah, but you just mentioned him. Yeah, I'm saying... You mentioned him and we're talking about it. I mentioned them because I'm saying that a lot of heads have rolled

because of this magistrate. Your duck friend, the other guy, Ned. Ned. My kid brought us salami. We call him little Italian sausage, for sure. I don't think that's the same thing. You know, never mind. Look, we're going to do this thing.

We just got, we need a way to interact with this guy. We got to meet him. We got to figure out what his patterns look like, what his day looks like, so we can find an opportunity to strike. Do you know where it goes to the bathroom? Well, no, I do not. If you must consult Moshthamas.

I mean Quasimodo. I mean, we've been begging you to. Yeah. I'm just saying he's very busy. Quasi's busy? He's very busy. Doing what? He's being a soothayer.

Fucking around macabomero? Exactly right. Very thirsty work being a soothsayer. I see you're saying suits we'll meet him at the christening it's okay okay how hard can it be to figure out where this got shits well i asked where he was staying and we haven't gotten an answer i you know is he kind of important if he is an owl is he really shitting or is he puking oh he's how he got a shit all right owls do shit yes but it's not as often is the thing oh either way You should get some rest. You look terrible. Do you know that the Capibara poops in a square?

Maybe that was the wombat. What the hell's a Capi Bara? What's a wombat? You know, just one of those furry creatures that lives out on it. But when they poop, it's in a cube instead of a circle. Is it true? Yeah. Wow.

Do you not know about wombat cube poops? No, I think I might have to Google this. Yeah. Well, it has been a lovely discussion with you. I must retire. back to my lavish mansion then is on the same lane as the magistrate mansion that's son of a bitch kill my brother it's been a pleasure we'll look for the magistrate where he is okay well there you go that's just some wombat cute

poops for ya oh it is customary to stand when the dawn stands oh okay I guess thank you okay Yeah, I mean, just in case you were wondering before you go, the poo cubes are formed in the final section of the wombat intestines. When they're pretty dry and where the intestinal walls have varying degrees of stretchiness, the pressure molded wombat's poop into the characteristic cube shape. They don't put that in two books. Well, with that, I must retire.

Linguini, I don't got money for a tip. Good night's what I've been saying. And he waddles out. Who has a little run for a tip these days? Anyway. And the door closes behind him. You see his tails kind of dragging along the floor as he slowly, it's grunting as he moves and leaves the restaurant. It's been the longest day of my life.

I just want to take a nap. And then I guess we've got to figure out how to kill this guy and make it look like an accident. What have we gotten ourselves into? I say this has escalated rather rapidly. I was really just hoping to defraub the casino and now here we all, we gotta kill a guy. We could still defraud the casino though. They'll never see it coming.

I think they will. I think they, I think the Don specifically had a note that said they did see it coming. Right, but now that they think we're gonna ice the casino, then we iced it. And then they'll just know we did it. That's the definition of they see it coming. No, no.

You can lift. Okay. We gotta come up with an idea. Well... I'm too tired and drunk for this. You know, here's the thing, right? The reason we're doing this is to help you dad out, right? Ah, it's just, it's a mess.

The whole thing's a mess. We should have gotten ourselves wrapped up in this. We could always just invite everyone we know and love and care about to meet us at the local church. We put a bit of poison in some beverage. We'll pass it around and we all just die together and then we don't have to worry about this anymore. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You have raised. Whoa, bitch, what the fuck are you talking about?

Devil, dagon. I'm sure. I don't intend on just dying yet. I've been very clear. I don't intend on just dying yet. It's not my plan. I got things I gotta do. Things I gotta see.

Well, ignoring what Peggy just said, what if instead, we just leave? What if we just take your dad, and we just take you dad, and we Run! But we don't have to kill anybody. We don't have to risk our lives. And we just get out of dodge. Just the thing, Runley. I've been thinking about this for a while now. Almost a full 24 hours. Uh-huh. Let's say we succeed. Let's say we pull this off and erase the debt.

Let's stopping my dad from just doing it all over again. A large chainsaw would probably do it. That's why I didn't want to wrap you guys into this. all right, it's none of your responsibility. I was going to try. But that's okay because I've got this one. And see what I could do. And I don't think there's any hope.

So what you're saying, if I could maybe restate it from a different perspective, is that even if we killed this bird and risk life and limb and potential capture and execution to get your dad off and free from debt,

that we leave even though he got him off once the second we're gone he's going to do it all over again that's a possibility and then the audits are going to execute him anyway that's right well

what if we just grab him we take him take him do a clearing that the cat's rule and that's an entirely different government and maybe the artists won't have you know a position of power there and he'll be safe as much as I wish that were true

you can only help people I want to help. I mean, could we just talk to him about it? Maybe he'll finally see the lot. Maybe. Maybe he'll come around and for once in his life, make a decision to be your dad. I mean, at this point, he's already so old.

He's really close to death anyway. What's the point of even changing, you know? He's not as well. What, he's gotta be at least like, what, your raccoon, you guys live about seven years. He's gonna be like six by now. He's only 42. Probably.

I'm not the only lady raccoon I've ever heard about. Yeah, I mean, you can't catch an old raccoon new tricks. It's what they say. Do they say that? I did. This just sounds very scary. We're in trouble here. We're in real trouble.

I mean, if I'm being honest, I think at the end of the day, I'd rather kill this no-name owl hooty thing than I would book his dad. What if... we don't have to kill anybody and we take him to a clearing where there are no orders and no gambling and no strip joints

and no booze and no men of low moral fiber to corrupt him into his dark ways I don't think a place like that exists what if

uh what if here we could uh we could put this magistrate instead. You got a little, you got a hair hanging off your waddle here. Yeah, you gotta stop moofing it. Oh, I can. When you do it like that? I'm just, I just don't wattle. Oh, it's very good. I got it. I got it. You're good. What were you saying? What if, uh, when we encounter this magistrate, we actually just revealed to him that we have been hired to murder him,

uh, pointing him, this, this trigger-happy executioner of a magistrate directly at the dawn. whom your father owes a great debt to. You want to double cross the artist? If this magistrate is cleaning up these here woods, maybe he just does the execute and we don't have to. Wow. I wouldn't trust Erie. Certainly not a fucking magistrate of the Erie.

As far as I could throw him, he would double, double cross us. So we're back to murder, right? No, no, I'm saying can we avoid the murder entirely? What if... What if... I think that. What if we take him back to Potsville?

Remember Corny and Corner Lone Day? When we met Pitchie. Do I ever? Those were simple at times. Those folks seem very pious and, you know, kind of weirdly religious. And I don't think they would like gambling terribly much. Maybe he can turn over a new leaf. Oh yeah, you know what would be great?

Because he's a single man, and that's the kind of kind of place where he could have a bunch of wives. Bixie, maybe, I don't know, do you have any family there that maybe could take him in? Mm-hmm, I've got lots of family. Oh, this is such a good idea! Wow! What do you guys think? Well, I think I don't want to live the rest of my life, constantly looking over my shoulders to see if we're being followed by the audits that we double crossed and constantly waking up in the middle of the night to check on Daddy Booker to make sure they

that he hasn't snuck out to go do nefarious things and gamble all the money away. At that point, you know, it's up to him. You know, at a certain point, we have to just let him do his own devices. But then why wouldn't we just do that now and say, actually, you know, you got yourself into this mess of you later, we're gonna go to Potsville.

Well, then he'd be killed for sure. It's tough situation. We'd be signing his death warrant. I think he would have been the one sign in it, but yeah, no, I- Oh, no, it'd be us. Well, we'd be notarized. It's probably a pretty good way to put it.

And sorts. And if we do that, we're double-crossing the otters all the same. I really wanted to talk to Guasimodo. We still can. Yeah, but we got to kill a guy to do it. That's crazy. Usually they charge like 20 bucks for cover. We got a killer guy to talk to a deformed seat.

Say, maybe we'll get lucky and he'll burst into flames and his throw explode when he's on the shitter and then we just get it for free. Do you hear what any of us are saying? This shit is nuts. I don't know. I've got a good feeling about it. I think he's just going to do it. Oh, Bitsy.

It's just never the optimist. How old is this guy, this? The magistrate? I don't know. Do we have any idea? I think you made Mansion of Order too. Quite a bit. It got all mixed up in the conversation.

Too many people around here at 42. That's a weird thing. Well, it seems like the age that they get to before things start going awry. I think Peggy just got bored when she was making the universe. Yeah, I can only count to 42, so... That must be the top number. Oh! It's the highest number of the cult!

It's gotta be it, right? Because there were only 42 numbers in the entire universe, and then they just start back over at one. That's true. But I mean, at the end of the day, like, as high as even he is, or even Booker for making terrible sacrifices. Yeah, how about that? Breakfast is nice, but, like, only two points per gold? For that many sacrifices, I would figure you get at least, I don't know, three or four points per piece. Oh, maybe that's higher levels.

Maybe when you get in, like, ten, the double digits, you start to get extra points per gold piece, maybe. Oh, like a higher multiplier. Yeah. What if we sacrificed the blowfish tonight here? Oh, boy. killing two birds technically with one stone, right? Oh, I don't like this. We're killing him for the artists, but then we're also getting some points with our cult.

Look, that was kind of a fluke. I don't even know if I could do it again. We'd have to kill him and then throw his body in the river. We should ask for a sacrificial dagger. I didn't have one of those, and it just worked. Well, yeah, but that's because you probably did some kind of ritual, spooky, creepy thing out by the water. We're not going to have that ability.

I mean, I guess unless we want to sacrifice him into the toilet bowl, but that gets a little... I was just going to throw. all in the river like last time. That's what worked. You worked again. We can't do that. People find him on the toilet on fire. Oh, that's right. We need the humiliation factor. That's right. Yeah, you're right. That's fair. That's fair. Okay.

I'm not endorsing this plan. But instead of a sacrificial dagger, what if we go to the banjo and buy a sacrificial banjo? We kill him with the banjo and then sacrifice the banjo and his body and the blood. That's perfect because we can slit his throat. one of the banjo strings.

Those things are incredibly dangerous. We can make it look like he was trying to play the banjo on the shitter and he was like tighten it too tight and then it just, done. I don't think we have the money to buy in the banjo. I've got a little bit of money. I made 42 gold.

I got a little bit of money too. Showing off my photo realistic feat. Is that enough for a banjo? Should be plenty. They're not very expensive, surprisingly enough. What did it cost? Like two gold, 50 gold? Way less than 50.

I'm much closer to a single digit. If we're making the, uh, absolutely single-digit gold pieces here. They're not that expensive. There's all sorts of different qualities to a sacrificial ban, though that might run you a little bit more. Oh, should we carve or think, like, cult symbols into it? We could. I don't really know what the symbols of night here look like.

We should all... We should all slice our palms open and infuse it with our own blood. That never works. Well... I mean, and people always just make up the rungs and shit anyway. It never works. I mean, it worked for Booker when you got five points. I didn't do any of that.

I just threw a disgusting, messed up banjo into the river, and I said, I hope that Nestor, Jean-Luc, and the perverts and Totee were all dead. Okay, well, so maybe it wasn't blood then because he did play that there was some kind of infusion on it, and so maybe it was just, you know, so we could just play limp banjo, and then we could sacrifice that one.

Your guess is as good as mine. You wish, Sean? Claude? I mean, John Luke was dead? Oh, absolutely. Fuck her. Why? Why? What? I knew I liked you from the start. Oh, I was going to say, you said it first.

I was just following your footsteps. All right. You'd be worried that for a minute and, Joe, Claude. I didn't know I like the cut of your jib so much. Yeah, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. I figured I'd be helping you out. Listen, family comes first, and that's why I'm in favor of helping your dad.

Unless it's a brother, and then string them up. Especially a twin brother. A twin brother. If there's any justice in this world, Knight here will rise from the deep and eat Tote, John Luke, and Nesta. And hopefully, just John Luke in pieces so he can see all the others eating fuzz.

He can go last. He can go last, but I want him to nibble on them first. Fair enough. You guys want to go and get some rest? Yeah, we should probably leave this table. It was really nice to have a dinner with you. Let's go, I'm just kidding. Did we ever say we actually left to the table?

No, he left. He left. Okay. I was imagining this entire time. He's sitting there, why? We're gonna clear. Oh, thank you, Nguine. I don't have any money for a tip,

but it was very delicious. And I stand up. Come on, it's through the front door here, through the bowling alley, through the labyrinth maze of the back with the hall with the room, and then the casino, and then, and then,

I came through just goes back to the hotel rooms. Oh, that's a we're staying in a hotel routes. We should go that way. Yeah, for sure. Unless there's some crazy fuckery going on, in which case I can't promise where we're going to end up. There's people who are not being sacrificed to an evil cult and a bunch of talking eggs. Wait, if we go through that door, are we going to be in a horrible nightmare fluorescent light office building? I just say, it was weird, but I was very drunk. I mean, I still am. Oh. But I also was then, too. Did that seem very low? Let's go through that job.

Yeah, that'll be fine. Okay. I'd like to try to lead us back through the door that I thought was the Fox's hotel room with the key that she gave me, back to the rows of hotel room doors to try to find the room that we were gifted to stay in. Yes.

Let's hear the music. Yeah, take it down. You open the door and you find that it's a dark and damp mildewy hallway. But you keep following the hallway and eventually it gets brighter again. And as you make some certain turns, you find yourself back amongst the normal rooms of this place. And you look back and you feel like even if you tried to find this strange room again, you wouldn't be able to. The turn, the labyrinthian construction of this place is very unsettling and disorienting.

It's like you're at the Grand Geneva in Wisconsin. That's very funny. That is very funny. That is very funny. And you finally find the room at the top floor, the top level of the riverboat amongst the luxury suites that Mr. Lidoux had put you up in. And you open it, and the key that you have works, and you find a... And you find a beautiful two-room hotel suite. You find that there is a gift basket for you.

There is a chocolate mint on every pillow. And a little note from Mr. Ladeu himself that signed to you. I call bottom bunk. Nice scurry underneath the bed. Well, I say, I say the lap of luxury at last. I'm going to bed, I gotta sleep this off. Is there a bathtub?

Yes. Yeah, I'll just fill it up with water and climb in. You'll just see my two little eyes poking out at the top. It's absolutely, yeah, there's a full claw-footed bathtub. How many beds are there? There's four beds. I'd like to read the letter from Mr. Lennett. Oh, or just...

You open it, and you find it's a little hefty. And it's addressed to Jean-Luc Chant-Claire. Claire. And it is filled with flowery, aggrandizing, almost like sniveling compliments. And you see that also it says that he'd love to discuss future employment opportunities. And you find that there are

10 more gold pieces stuffed into this envelope. I just took that aside. It seems to the dawn, the non. have his roosters in order. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's a good one. So what does that mean? Well, see, by the state of this letter, I say, I say,

I think that I did in fact deceive Mr. Ladeau. He seems to address me as Jean-Luc and is stating that he'd like to explore further employment opportunities. Now you know what you should do? next time you get the opportunity if he's interviewing you just take a dump right in his desk that'll show you old stupid brother be careful though

well the problem is anyone who slats him in the immediate moment is all wrapping the off stage and sacrifice going to night on you'd have to sneak in his office take a dump in one of the drawers and say from Jean Luke

Oh oh yeah oh man What I wouldn't give to see Jean Luke John Lou thrown into the river and consumed by demon monster. Oh, oh. Ah. Good time. One can dream.

Yeah. I'm going to bed. Oh, yes. Nature. The hour is late. Goodnight, baby. Spent quite the day, folks. Quite the day.

Good night. Grumley. Good night, Bitsy. Can I bicksey? Could I booker? night, Betsy. Good night, John. Well, good night, Betsy.

And good to meet you. Oh, you guys met like today. I only just met you today. And now, and after this guy's... Because we all met today. We only just met all me today. We only just met today? Ow!

And tomorrow, a murder. Good night, Brumley. Good night, Bucket. Good night, Becky. Good night, Booker. Good night, Jean. And I'm sorry we basically ruined your life.

Seems as though it was going that way with after help, so it's nice to have the company. Good night, Boca. Exactly right. Good night, Bidsey. Good night, Grumley. Good night, Mr. Chantlecliffe.

Good night, Grumley. Good night, Peggy. Good night, Grumley. Good night, Booker. I'm sorry to pervert to ruin your banjo. Ah, you know, it was kind of heading that way anyway. So, it's just nice to have people around you, even when you don't have your banjo no more. Yeah, I didn't know they were some cheap, though.

Well, again, quality, all that good stuff. A couple gold pieces, I mean... Yeah, I thought about buying the materials, make them out. You know what? We could talk about this in the morning. The banjo market's really in shambles after banjo hero free-bombed, I guess. You know, it's true. Yeah, I mean, you think you're really. I mean, things really started going down after the dissolution of the middle class.

That game came out, and I was like, why isn't anyone just learning to play a real banjo? It's like, overnight. Anyway, don't get me started. They really oversaturated marketing. Booker. Yes, Grumley? I missed the middle class, Booker. Me too, Brumley.

Me too. We didn't know how good. We had it. No, we didn't. Uh. Day and break. Yeah. Oh, man.

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Thank you from Legends of Aventris. fall asleep, bemoaning the loss of the middle class in the dim wood. And you awaken, after a full eight hours, you enjoy a long rest. You awaken in the windows of the swampy vibes or the swampy atmosphere, an environment of Muckbed Creek, is right out your window, as this riverboat is right on the end. edge of the clearing. And so the light of morning, the sun is actually pretty high in the sky. I mean, you went to bed and basically his sun was coming up. And what I'll say, it's so nice to be able to have a normal day-night cycle in the setting that I don't have to think about as I'm writing.

It's extremely convenient. And so I'm not going to scream about it. It's so nice to be able to use words like dawn. Yeah, dawn. Oh, you're awake at dawn and you see daylight. Hooray. Hooray. Hooray. Hooray. And. They're okay, guys. I know. It's bleeding throats. It's just going to roll back. Wake up and there's a little common room.

And you realize that sometime in the middle of the night, some housekeeping or someone come in and there's a table, a basket of fruit, including an orange. Look at us behind that weird at all. Is it dawn yet? It's way past Don. I'm pretty sure we went to bed at Don. Oh, man. Shouldn't Mr. Chanticleer have, like, notified us of this? Oh, well, I don't do that kind of thing.

Oh. Oh, is that... Especially when I'm asleep. Oh, is that a... A myth? Well, no, we'd do that kind of thing, you know? I was very tired. Oh, no, we got to bed pretty late.

So naturally, you would sleep through your own alarms. Exactly right, exactly right. I got to hang over the size of a bear-bearian. Oh. You don't think there was a real, do you? What do you mean? We met a bear. It was a wonderful person. He liked vegetables, remember?

Oh, was he a bear-bearian? I mean, I kind of got that vibe, you know. Oh, I always assumed bear-bearians lived on remote islands and like eight people. Well, I think he was going to eat us if he didn't eat vegetables or I didn't play my instrument. That was in this timeline, I guess. It was. I think I'm mixing up my timeline. I think you might be.

I always seem to be doing that. The old mancala effect, you know? Have a banana. Oh. I didn't know they have bananas here. Oh, it was kind of them to come through and bring this here fruit basket and change me into this fancy nightclothes

in my skin. What the heck? I don't know. You didn't go to bed wearing that? I didn't go to bed wearing this. This silk two-piece top. in the bottle. Not at all.

This place is the most luxurious establishment I've ever spent the night. No, no, no, no, John Claude, you misunderstand. You didn't experience this before. This means there might be perverts about. Well... Check onto the bed.

Yeah. Make sure it on the floorboards are loose. No, no, no, no, no, you don't understand. You weren't there. Houses full of them. We couldn't go anywhere. They were coming out of the walls. Perverts in the walls?

everywhere. You're more purpose so you can shake a sticker. That's a lot of purpose. And them changing your clothes in the middle of the night? They might have done that, but there was definitely a period

where they paused and they waited, and they watched. No one is safe. I mean, surely, I thought they were all terribly executed. I thought we escaped. I thought they all died in a house fire.

Oh, well, surely, surely here, they're professionals. Not perfect. I mean, Booker, I think you're overreacting. I'm sure. It's totally normal to change a bird's accoutchimal in the evening as he sleeps. Wishful thinking, my friend, wishful thinking.

Amongst all five of us without waking any of us. Oh, no, I was awake the whole time. Who was it? I don't know their names. I'd never seen them before. Don't let your guard down. Not even for an instant. It might have been the permits that came in on that boat.

Well, I thought that was you guys. that's very funny well I guess we have to figure out what to do next Mr. Ladoo still thinks that Jean-Claude is Jean-Luc but I'm inclined to drop that story line and move on I'll be what I continue

I think I'll probably just tell them the books are all right you think about it and you get the sense that that you wonder would a crime boss really do that go into an Italian restaurant and tell lies? Do you really do that?

I think if we follow that storyline at all just for Jean-Claude to take a dump in his desk. That's all I'm saying. That'll be that'll take five, ten minutes of stream time, top. Okay. You're convincing me.

It'll be the last thing we do in the clearing before we head off into the sunset. I think that's got to be an after we deal with the magistrate. We're on the same base. So are we going to deal with the magistrate? Oh, well, we don't have a lot of options. It's how to let Beauregard Tea Raccoon get tossed into the old drink, or we deal with the magistrate.

Or we could just run. That's all I'm saying. You know, just grab your dad and run all the way to wherever Vitsy's from. Look, I'm not opposed to run. We do that well. But, you know, I want to bring my dad. I spent enough time with a guy. Look, it's all well and good.

It's been great. I don't necessarily need him joining us as part of our adventures. He's going to think he's one of the gang. It's going to get weird real quick, you know? What if we just drop him off with the rebels in sticker brush? That could be fine. I'm not opposed to that. It's one clearing over and, you know, they really hate to erase, so it's not like they're

going to uphold their laws or debts. That's true. That's a good plan. I like that plan too. But if you want to kill this guy and... Tell me to rob anybody of murder and anybody, you know? Potentially, like, risk, you know, being caught and executed permanently. You think, and you get the sense that it really is true that whatever you want to do, it's a possible

option. You know if you make it back to Pottsville, that's controlled by the Marquis-Aup. And the Erie would not have the authority there. You know that Stickerbush is entirely taken over by rebels. You've seen what they're capable of. It's definitely more chaotic, but also the Erie is not able to get there. You also feel like there's perhaps opportunities to kill the magistrate and utilize the power of the Riverfoe Company, or perhaps betray the River Foe Company and the mob and throw your

lot in with the Erie. And there are snakes in the woods. Spoiled for joints. There's are shitters that might cause them combust. The world is your oyster. Let's vote. How keen is Bitsy on murder? You seem like you kind of excited you a little bit.

Yeah? Once we get a reputation, people will ask us to do more. Is that a good thing or a bad thing in your eyes? No, we can't let anybody know that we did the murder. We don't want a reputation about that. Well, you get a reputation in the underground, just not in the overall. Oh, man.

On public knowledge, but it would be criminal knowledge. The overground. If you're up to me, we'd grab my dad and get out of here. But then, like Peggy said, we'd be looking over our shoulder shoulder with the with the auditors for the rest of our lives and that might not end well killing your dad's off the table right I mean that sounds a lot of problems I feel like I'm obligated because of my character way that I wrote them to have to say yes that's off the table but it's off the table okay that would be a character assassination if I would say that I would

agree with that plan and we could just move on with our lives he seems like a cool guy he's all right He's not as cool as I remember. He's kind of a bum. Yeah, he has a lava lamp. Yeah, it didn't really seem like it even worked, though. It just kind of sits there. The beaded arched to his kitchen seemed real cool. It was all right, you know.

Really impractical, though, when you think about it. The carpet was sort of like a dark orange. Yeah, it's really old. You know, I'll never understand why you had that furry toilet seat cover, though. Really unhygienic, you know? In carpet in the bathroom? Who does that? The relic, relic of the past. Maybe so.

He doesn't see. slip and hit his head on the tile? Or if your feet get cold when you're getting out of the shower. But he didn't even have a splash hog. Well, he didn't smell like he takes a towel. I mean, he'll get a photo one of us. They're crazy expensive. They're like 75 clams apart.

It's insane. Who has that kind of money for a splash hog? Unbelievable. How do these convention centers in New Felicia have splash hogs in every urinal? Well, the ticket prices go up every year. Tax dollars, I'm telling you. No wonder the middle class is gone. That's right.

That's right. I don't know, guys I feel like I'm too emotionally invested this to make the decision I'm compromised Maybe we can talk to your dad Maybe we can go to him and tell him the deal And say, listen, Lord God

Oh, ask him to kill himself? Well, no, maybe encourage him to run Maybe encourage him to run And move on to another clearing And then we don't have to do anything He's off the hook Or maybe they're chasing him But you know, we can maybe direct them

in some other way and we have no compelling reason to do anything at all. At this point I feel like we're obligated to kill this judge guy because we kiss that guy's rings. We pretty much already said yeah. That's true. But if we were going there on in the orders, then why does it matter? We're getting out of dogs and you know, we might be in a little trouble too, but Booker's dad's in a lot more trouble. You see me like scribbling down on some like parchment. So, based on the colorful discussion we had over the last

evening and this morning, I think really we have two broad options. Okay, all right. I should decide. One is run. Two is killed a magistrate. And then depending, I think we should vote and decide which one of those we want to do first. And then, depending on which wins,

which wins, I think each of those options has two further options that we can then also vote on. Wow, you're speaking with a lot of clarity here. If we decide to run, we could take... Why don't you tell us about it after we vote? Well, I just want to give it... Well, you don't want to color people's original opinion, right?

Well, I want to let people know what they're getting into if they vote for one or two. We should have all the information. Exactly right. When we make the decision. So we could run to Poxville. We have been there. We know it's controlled by the cats, which I'm a big, you know, not necessarily a fan. You know, they don't...

They might not like me terribly much, but I think that they're much more just and kind than eerie. Bitsy's from there and has lots of family. A con is that Peggy did explode and set on fire and burn alive, too deaf. Several soldiers from there, but hopefully they forgot about us. The beloved officer was. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Oh, boy.

But they have a lot of corn there. He probably didn't even have any family. And then the second option is we take him a sticker brush, which we know is controlled by the Woodland Alliance, and we have friends in the Alliance, and I don't think that they would, you know, carry over any debt or, you know, verdicts from the Erie, or the Otters, so I think that would be pretty safe too.

So that's option one if we run. Option two, kill Magistrate. Then we have two sub-options here. One is the shit-throat gambit, and then the two would be hunting accident, but I put quotations around the word accident. Oh, yeah. I like the word Gambit there.

That was well done. Well used. Very Paul Atreides. Yeah, I don't know what it means, but it sounded nice. All right. Should we blind vote? Wasn't Gambit one of the X mice?

I think it is time to vote. We're voting. I'm going to write mine on this piece of paper. Oh, that's right. Officer Fully didn't survive. Is it a silent vote? I think, just so that we're not swaying each other. I want to swaying.

I don't want any peer pressure to factor into this very important decision. Thank you. Just pulled some paper out of this book I found in the drawer over here. Buy some guy named Gideon. That's very funny. So if you want to run, write one or A. Right, well, what if you want to kill the guy? And if you want to kill a guy, write two or B.

Okay. Oh, I'm very torn. I know what I want to do. I don't think it's the right decision. I have voted. Let it be known. I'll collect the votes. I love this.

We should be anonymous. No, I'm going to shuffle them up. Nobody's ever going to know. Don't write your name. I don't want to know what I'm going on. Don't write your name. Okay. Oh, wait, don't write your name.

Don't write your name. Okay, hold up. Red do it. I tear another page out. Redo it. I guess Mr. Chanticleer, I shouldn't presume that you're coming with us, but given that your life is ruined and you have nothing left to live for, I kind of assume you might be tagging along, you know.

Well, I do have my fancy pad to get back to it from here, but it wasn't... That water-locked shithole? Oh, hey, hey. It was in a modest state of disrepair. I think that they got repoed. It's not, oh, that's right. It did get entirely repoed. You're right.

I have absolutely, I'm absolutely nothing to live here. I'm nothing to go back to. Except the destruction of my brother's reputation and his physical well-being. All right, I think everybody voted. This is exciting. Are we ready? Okay, somebody's got to keep talent.

Grumley, will you keep tallow? Oh, yes. I would love to. Hold on, I'm making a screwdriver out of this orange. Okay. All right, here we go. Vote number one. We have run.

one a, which I believe is subplot one A of going, maybe perhaps going to the not sticker brush, the other place. Whoever, oh no, it needs to be anonymous. No, no, no, yep. We're going to make some assumptions. Okay. It's one vote for run. You might have to re-vote on that. That's fine.

We'll figure it out. What is this? Which one of you mongrels has the worst hand-running you've ever seen in my entire life? Don't look at me. What? I don't know what you mean. This looks like a four or an A. Those aren't even options.

No, it's like a one. See, there's the line. You know what? We're going to say it's a one. We're going to say it's a one. I don't know how I know that. This is a lesson in not writing an eligibility. Your vote gets cast for you.

How do you keep looking at me? Unbelievable. Okay. All right. Here we go. Oh, wow. This one used the technical term. The shit throat, damn it.

Two or B. Oh, this one's got some graffiti on it. A beautiful. I'm not gonna read the graffiti though because it might give away who. That was mine, I voted on that one. Now Peggy was supposed to remain anonymous. I wrote my name on the bottom.

I even drew one of those really cool Fs and I learned how to do it still. I know, it was really cool. I felt bad. I wanted to give you credit, but I didn't want to out you. It said Peggy was here and I spelled was wrong. It was pretty cool. It was very cool.

This one says run, but then in parentheses, but murder is probably the right option. Okay. All right. I still counts for run. I still counts for run. Yeah, I think so. I think that counts for both. I think so.

All right. And finally, we have two or B spelled B-E-E like Bumble. I don't know what I'm going to do with you people. What's the vote? What's the vote, Brumley? What do we got? Well, if Bitsy is right and that one vote, counted for two. We have a

tar. No, it's not possible. Oh, no. Right. Totally. It's a, hey. It said, run. Run. The murder is probably the right option. What are we doing it too? It's five of us. Oh, no other people.

It's possible. There's a hot number of us. I know. I didn't expect this. Let's vote again. All right, all right. Let's put more paper. I'm sorry, get you to let let there be missed.

Rip up more paper. Jesus. Okay, forget one and A. Just write one or two. Don't write anything other than one or two. Could we just write kill or run? Yes, or write, kill or run. I was trying to reference mine.

Just, just kill or run or run or one of two. And write legibly, you buffoons. All right, I mean, if you insist. No, no, this handwriting's not very good. Hold on, I can do better. I got it. All right, I'm collecting the, Collect the votes. Here we go.

Now we got one, two, three, three, all right, three, three, three votes. I'm still making my mark. Hold up, hold on, hold on, hold on. There we go. It's within the lines. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for collecting these votes.

Thank you for coming up with the plans and helping me tell you them. Oh, it's just summarizing. an effective government because we're small. No, no. Do you want a screwdriverer? I'll take one. I got a nasty hangover. Little hair of the dog, you know what I'm saying? I found all these little bottles and I just

a little cabinet right here. Perfect, that hit me. That fresh squeezed, nothing like a fresh burgeoning alcoholism is in the day right. Oh, that's delightful. Thank you. I still waiting on one more vote.

What? We're waiting on one more vote. Who? If I say, that'll ruin it. small rooms only five months bed still riding there's only one person still riding at the table bitch I hope she did the S thing okay oh here we go I love the S thing here we go okay okay I'll tell you again this one says the first vote we have is one or two that's two votes what are you guys doing here what are you doing he said right one or two

says run. This one says run. Okay. Is it a nice handwriting? It's fine. Oh, okay. Two Booker from Peggy, anonymous vote. Kill, legibly. Peggy was here, and the S is bigger this time. This is badass. Oh, yeah.

I don't know if there's some sort of magical myth, but I like this. Oh, yeah, the runic symbol of her talent. I'm a big fan of that. I wrote Legibly, just like you request. This one says run in giant nice letters. I can read this. Thank you. That's kind of often when you see it like that. It is.

It fills me with dread. That's a good foot. It looks like a warning. It's you look at it and it scares you a little. You're doing something right. It's pleasant handwriting. I think that's more of a threat than anything else. Look at how correct those letters are.

This one says milk, eggs, bananas. What the fuck? No, it's on the other side. Run, it says run, but then in the bottom, it really little it says, or murder. That's two again. Two again. It's four to three.

We're going to run. Oh, yes. I'm so relieved. I thought we would have to kill that guy. So all we have to do is kill that guy, and then we can run. No, all right. We're going to leave. We're going to take Mr. Raccoon, T. Raccoon, and

and take him away. Didn't you kiss that guy's ring? I don't care. I already have an oath. It was a fake oaf. You made a kiss pack. You got a red shirt. I don't think the kissing was a bond in contract.

I think he just had a weird fetus. You are the lawyer. Exactly right. We didn't have to sign a dang thing. We just had to slobber all over his hand. That means we need to vote on the nature of our running. Oh, no, not for voting. We have to do it.

It was stated. It was written. Okay, all right. All right. All right. What are I? options for where we're running to so well this cater really is loved by this Gideon guy crazy option one oh I've also said a little bit no no so oh not one or two all right if

we're gonna write it out if you want to run to Pottsville which had corner corner long day and that's where Bitsy's from right Pottsville there's a knee at the end but it's silent. If you want to run to stick a brush, that's where the Woodland Alliance is, but certainly not Nester. Who needs a piece of paper to vote with?

How they're ripping up this book? All right, nobody's stopping you. Oh, I don't know what to choose. Rott Sticker Brush. Sticker brush or Potsville. Or Potsville, that's right. And for the folks viewing at home, I'll bring up the map

so they can see. the difference. I don't know what to choose. Is this another anonymous book? It should be. Okay. Unless you don't care, which let's be real Peggy, you've been pretty transparent this whole time. So that works for you? What to mean? What do you mean? I'm not reasonable. I'm right here, though. Thank you. Oh shit. No, I should do it this way. To Booker, Firm, Peggy. Anonymous vote. Bitsy has torn it out about half the pages in a book called the Moli Bibble. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

All right, here we go. We have Pottsville. Oh, this is lovely. And it was signed with a nice little image, but I'm not going to say what it is to let people... I don't want anyone to know. Wasn't this? What? Wasn't this? What?

What? Sorry, I was getting some... The cabinet. Yeah, you gotta, if you're gonna yell at me, you gotta come sit down so we can't hear anything from in there. Was it one of the S's, say that what she said? No, no, this was nice. It was a different signature.

It wasn't the S this time. But it was very, very nice, you said? You said it was nice? Oh, wow. This is two booker, I would like you look at it one day. Forum Peggy, anonymous vote. Can we walk?

I have asthma. Pump, Peggy. With the S again. It's really growing on me. We can walk. I wish I could do that. That looks so cool. But you misunderstood the assignment.

You didn't say where we're walking. Oh. But we can walk. We can walk. We want to be cognizant of everyone's health problems and not put anyone out. That's this ominous to ruin. This one says, I'd love to visit Ribero Falls. That's not even close.

That isn't even close. Oh, that sounds nice. This is why I'd recommend you know the screwdriver. Jeez, Louise. That isn't even close at all. Do you think the falls is made of rye barrels? I don't know. I've never been.

Potsville, we get closer. But what if that guy just dies on the toilet collapsing in flames and shit? I don't... I don't have an answer. I don't answer that. Just put down for Potsville. Okay. No, no, no. I'll have it. I mean, we might as well capture Rye Barrel Falls if that's an option.

I suppose. Hollywood. Hollywood? One of you sick fucks wants to go to Hollywood. You absolute degenerate, one of us is a pervert in the shy. I regret it being anonymous. Who would write that? Who spelled it right?

Who spelled it wrong? The point is, we have a traitor in our midst. And whoever it is was undressing and redressing John Claude in his sleep. Do you think that a pervert slipped in one of the votes? Oh my God. Oh! Where are they out of the beds? Oh my God, you know what that means?

This voting system's rigged. We gotta vote again. Yeah, let's go one more. I can't trust any of you. This is a nightmare. Oh, God. No, it will later. Is that the final vote?

Yes, there's a final vote. What do we got? All right. I think we only had two legitimate votes. I'm counting correctly. This is my hell. Based on my detailed calculations, the final results. I'm calling for a recount.

Well, we haven't even had the V count. Yeah, I know. I'm calling for a recount. Okay. I think it's required that Italian the Italian. One,

two, one, one, zero. All recounted. Where's your proof? I told the Italian. But you wrote all those down.

How do I know that those numbers actually reflect the data? Booker, could you reread the selections? Hollywood. Okay. Okay, that's one. Fussy. Rye barrel falls

for some God's for saken reason. Can we walk? Peggy has asthma. Maybe that's a place. Oh, I didn't even write that down. That's not really a vote. Pottsville. Pottsville.

There's one for Pottsville. That's one-one-one. And Pottsville, but again, what if that guy just dies on the toilet collapsing in flames and shit? Oh, wow. That's so violent. That's very, very specific.

That's five votes. And there's five of us. Yeah, it all checks out, except for that Hollywood thing. But I didn't vote. Here. There's one in there that says- You just offered that you had asthma. No, but I'm saying I didn't vote for anything.

Well, no, no, there's four actual votes and then your suggestion card. Why did you hand me this piece of the book? Well, so you can get your voting. Oh, okay, I'll vote. Oh, do you want to vote? You can vote. Sure.

Yeah, you can vote. I mean, you know, the democratic process, voting is our duty as a citizen of the dimwood. This is anonymous, I don't want anyone know. Yeah, it's probably best. You just do it anonymously here. Yep, thank you.

No one will know. Okay, all right, here we go. It says Hollywood. What? You tell me you're joking, Booker. This, no, I'm not. It's what it says. Who would write that?

I don't know. Who would have done this? We have two permits in on this. No, no, no, no, no, no. Look, book. See this hanging, guard named Chad? This is no way. No, this doesn't count.

It's not. The polls closed. I know we just made that up. It can't count. No, it can't count. No, unfortunately. I mean, I definitely think that's probably a legitimate vote. What do we do now, Rodney?

We gotta tally the votes. We gotta see where we stand in the polls. In last place, one of the two legitimate options, sticker brush with zero votes. Sounds like we're not going there. In third place. Rybaro Falls with one vote. Ooh, let's go there.

And tied for first is Pottsville and the Hollywood. Who would have voted for those places? I never thought I would have seen this in my day. What do we do? How do we break this vote? We have to make another vote to break the tie. This is getting out of hand. Now there are four of them.

Okay, that's done. It must be done. It must be done. All right, please for the love of gods, check to make sure that none of the perverts vote for the Hollywood. We can't do that, we can't go there. The stream will be canceled forever. Wait, what were the two places we were voting on?

Pottsville. Let it be known. Pottsville. There are only two options in this vote. All other votes will be disqualified. Oh, wow. Look at you getting all authoritative. You know how someone's got you at this point? Be here to Christmas.

Or the equivalent of that, up. The equivalent of Christmas. You look a little suspicious over there, Grumley. Like someone who would vote for the Hollywood. I'm looking suspicious. Yep. Booker. What?

I'm starting to think that Peggy voted for the Hollywood. Hey, it was anonymous. You have no way of knowing what I voted. I know. I can't be sure. She's right, but I'm with you. I'm getting a sinking, suspicious feeling that she might be the secret pervert.

Secret. Director Ferret Wezo must have gotten to her. No, you don't think. Maybe he was the one that slipped through those mind-controlled drugs. What the hell did he promise her? The whole wood. It's completely. Oh, my God.

Well, unfortunately for all of us, right now, those woods are quite waterlogged. That's very funny. All right, here we go. The matter. The first one we have says, please, please, Potsville. Tally it down, Brumley.

Oh, oh. I'm on it. The Big Pee got one. Thank the gods. We have another for Potsville. Oh, wow. Things are looking good. Hopefully, the county doesn't stop it.

Hollywood signed this was definitely not a pervert. They're getting, they're making fun of us. They're mocking us. This was definitely not a pervert. Oh my God, they still spelled it wrong. The drama of this count is really reminded me in survival. Do you want another screwdriver? As a captain, just qualified.

All right. Nobody worry about that. Nobody worry about that. Captain will resume. Okay. Potsville. Oh, that's number three. There's no way this can fail.

The Hollywood signed Beggie. Oh, no, no, no, no. That was an accident. Oh, it's supposed to be anonymous. Oh, okay. Let me cross that. I was really worried that Peggy was the secret pervert for a moment. There we go.

Okay. Let me just reopen this one. Okay. This one says the Hollywood. Who would have voted for that? Damn provents! I don't think it matters. I don't think it matters.

The election results are coming in. Watch this. I'm getting an update live from the field. It's very topical for this year in our, in our time. We should probably avoid the topic of time. We should mention the current year. Oh shit, a hologramed. It's too late.

That was very funny. It's too late probably. We've done this five times. We're almost at the end of the bit. We got a power to vote. Hollywood. Two votes. Potsville.

Free votes! Yes! Yeah! We never didn't have it. That was close. Here's your screwdriver. Thank you. Wait, so what did we do all that for?

That settles it. We're going to run to Potsville. Oh, when? We're going to pick up groceries there or something? No, we're going, we're going forever. We're going to get out of it. We're skipping town. We're getting out of Dodge. We're going back to Potsville. We're going to get out of this eerie controlled clearing. We're going to take refuge under the Marquisar. And we're going to find where we can just dump off Beauregard and move on with our lives.

The body? No, he's living for him in a place where he won't get any more debt, any more trouble. that is not a problem anymore. Did we decide whether or not we were taking him or leaving him? What? All of that was to take him to Botsville. We're trying to save his life! I thought we were just running. Should we vote on whether we take him? No! No! No! No! No more voting! We're drowning in Bible paper! No! No more!

That was Bibble. Holly. Holly, Bibble. All right. Okay. We shouldn't delay anymore. the autos are going to be looking for an update. We gotta go, we gotta go grab old boat, get out of here. We gotta get your dad, and John Claude, if you wanna shoot on Mr. Lidoo's desk, that's fine. Just take it, and go real quick.

I'm really there, like five minutes out. We don't even have to roll. No, indeed, you don't get your own scene, and go shit to my dad. You don't get your own scene, go shit on his desk, and we're out of here. You can find a local wombat and make it square shakes. Yeah, okay.

Give me old Jean-Claude up. up a deck out. You could do that. Do it. All right, I'll do it. I'll do it like four times. You're gonna do it, right? Yeah.

There's a one fact. I'm leaving it right now. Nobody's talk to me anymore. You're not second-guessing things? No. The next time you see me, I'm gonna read ten pounds lighter. Oh. That's foul.

What? What are you? I'm trying to keep on it for Hollywood. Break. I'll scurry after booking it. I run to where my dad's apartment is, regardless of who joins me or not. Okay.

I'll follow. Okay. We'll come along as well. All right. Everybody puts John Claude. He's got a key to the desk. I got a job to do it. Roll a D-100.

Yeah, see how effective. If you roll a 100, your slit opens up in your personal flames. What is it? Okay, 58, everybody. Oh, okay. Oh, God. It sounds so close. You almost shit yourself in the flames.

And your artery almost exploded in your neck. Oh, God. That was the big one. His slit. Oh, God, okay. Um. You go find my dad. Yeah.

You make your way. through the casino. It's very, at this time of, it's actually, it's 10 minutes to 11 as you're making your way and leaving, as you see that they're getting ready

to close up breakfast. Damn it! The next one, the next one. We're sitting there. We go back in for, dry time. No, we're our time. Or I'll go.

You stay, I'll go. Oh, give me one of those really gross draw like tiny corn like. No, I'm not going. I'm going to my dad. I'm saying you stay here. Oh, I'll meet you there. I'll get you.

I told John God. Your car. Yeah. You get your breakfast and I'm off. Yeah. You make your way out into Muckbeg Creek. Or brother, yeah, Muckbock Creek. And you make your way through the town, through the clearing,

looking for your father's apartment. Dad, wake up! Dad, we gotta go. Come on, Dad, wait up. You make your way through as no one answers. Get up, Dad! I tried the handle. Oh no.

Locked. You want me to burn the place to the ground? No! I will attempt to... You remember you have a key. No, stop. I'm so hung over. Screwdrivers haven't kicked in yet. I don't let the door. I don't let the door.

Dad! I run in. I'm trying to wait. He run in and you see him sprawled out on his bed. He has three pairs of boxers on. And nothing else. He has one on wearing normally, but you can see the attempt of where he tried to get one over his arm and one over his head.

Oh dear guys. He's a scrawl out, snoring incredibly loudly. I grab him by the shoulders and I say, Dad, wake up, wake up! And I shake him and I slap him on the face of the other. What's happening? Listen to me, listen to me. You gotta get up. You gotta pack what you can't pack like.

We gotta get out of here. We're skipping town and run to Potsville. What? We're getting out of here. We're getting you out of here. Potsville. Yes, we gotta go. You gotta come with us. They're not gonna take your debt there. We're gonna, we're gonna run. We're gonna get out of here. The audits. They wanted us to murder somebody to clear your debt. And we didn't want to do it. We voted a lot. There's too many votes. There's no more time to explain. You gotta come with us now. What? You gotta come with us now.

We gotta go now? Yes, we gotta go now. Oh my, I almost paid off my appointment. The apartment. The apartment's not going anywhere, Dad. We can worry about that later. We got a good attorney. He can handle the estate and stuff.

Come on. Oh, I knew I have time to take a shit and get some coffee. How much time is that going to take? Well, I mean, I'm closer with the same thing, so you've probably got about 10 minutes. I need to go into the bathroom. Fine, fine, hurry up. Oh, my sack. Make sure you roll a D100 first.

The C-D-100 is doing. What happened last night? What happened last night? You were gambling. You were up a lot of money. You were going to pay off your debt. You lost it all. You got way more debt.

And we took it into our hands to figure out your debt problem. Turns out the only way through that was murder. We decided not to do it. Instead, we're going to take you to a different clearing where the artists can't get you. We're leaving. We're leaving. We're leaving Macbent Creek.

It's the Macbent Creek is all I know. Now you're going to know Potsville. Oh, Potsville. Oh, there's nothing to do up in Potsville. That's right, and there's no idea to get yourself in any trouble. Oh, I don't think they got any gentleman's gloves in Potsville. I think you should shut the hell up!

Okay, let me just go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Hurry up. Uh, yeah. What the hell? What do you know? What do you're like? That's his dad is just Mike? As far as boring.

Guard cold starts in the morning. Oh, my God. Hurry up, hurry up. We don't have much time. One shot, Claude, you really have to go. Because they're going to be looking for us. Okay, hold on, hold on. Um, uh, you wait.

As Jean, as, as is Grumley. We'll go to you next. I'm just going to grab a couple really gross stale corn muffins and like danishes. Yeah, no, they're incredibly stale. The cheese danishes have like crossed it over a little bit. What have you done with the blueprints

that you had taken, been gifted or loaned from Mr. Ladoo? I don't think I would have probably or did John Clod have them or did I have them? You had them. Oh, I guess you then, you both looked it together. So whoever would have taken them.

I think John Claude had them. Okay. John Claude now has the ledger and the plants. I was sniffing. I was sniffing around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so once I just grabbed a few, I remember telling John Claude that I would just watch guard

while he's shit on the desk. And so I'm gonna basically like go back up to the office. That'll play. It's like countered eggs. Yeah, I guess. Couter eggs. There's like one like really over cooked chicken sausage on it. Oh yeah.

And I'm dry as hell. Yeah, dry as fuck. And I'm going to like plate and hand walk up to the office and just like okay assuming John Glaw's in there already I look around the office I walk in I look around to see if he has a well I look for the desk there and I place the you and I place the ledger or yeah you had seen that mr. Ladoos at the far end of the casino he was already making the rounds he was talking to some of the pit bosses.

They were leaning in. They were by the music having to find new entertainment because they're scratching out the sign that said the Alton John experience here all weekend. They're getting rid of that. And so they're trying to find new entertainment. Probably the music director of the casino is talking and they're going through lists of bands and musical acts.

And he seems to be completely distracted. I So I head his office I go in I go to the desk I grab a pen and I start to write a letter response To Mr. Lidu

Thank you for your kind offer of employment However I have to say Fuck you I would never work for such a Underhanded Ugly this man who hands over his ledger to just anyone who comes and asks, especially one who looks

like an alligator. Or crocodile. Crocodile. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

He's, yours truly, Jean-Luc Chanticleer. And I think this here drool will be just fine. Enjoy my last surprise. Oh, he's really spreading in there. He got a 68. He got a 68. Wow, that's commitment. This is real method acting, folks.

This is real method acting, folks. This is gonna shoot his pants live on screen. This chair was already stained. This chair was already stained. It's a nightmare. Oh. Everything okay, man. I didn't have any fiber last time

I saw clams and boston. No, we should be effortless. Hurry out. Just give me a second. I'm saber in the moment. All right. I think this guy might actually fucking execute my brother.

PPS. If you want someone to employ you're no good crocodile. Look for my no good dumb, ugly, the Jean-Claude, Jean-Claude. That is all. Cube, the lens on the desk. In the drawer.

In the drawer. In the drawer. Are you sure you don't need help? Oh, wow. You hear a rumbling inside of the... The door's vibrating. The door slams open. You see me standing the threshold. Do you see your carot?

You're sweating out of the armpits. I'm pulling my pants, I'm holding my pants in the waist there. Only I'll say we must make haste. Oh my God. They're going to know immediately. We've got to go right now. Right now. We're in Bintzy.

Bixie, come on. Don't hold out. Leave it at no time. No time. No time. There was no time. I've been screwed on this if you have. I haven't been.

Oh, we scurry out. You make your way and out of the casino as you make your way just around, you had just very fortunately missed Louis Ladoo as he is going around the other side. As he makes his way to his office. And as you're running through the Muppet Creek, you hear from the hot, the hot,

highest window, you hear from the highest window very clearly from Mr. Ludu's office. I'm going to kill that accountant. And that is where we're left. Oh, that's fun. Oh, man. That's running the session, Mike. That was so good. God, that was fun. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avengers podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaign to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier higher to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh, a patron exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash Legends of Aventrys. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avengers community,

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