Legends of Avantris - Uprooted | S2E9 | For Whom the Bell Bongs

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

After a weird night, the gang makes a beeline to explore the Forbidden Wing...   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/nDhV4AT71VI?si=IGxW4y8xJK46vCpL

Welcome to Legends of Aventress. I'm Mikey Gilder and you're listening to Uprooted. Here's what happened last time. Let's go in the direction of the echo. Whoa, whoa. We'll go in the direction of the echo. Through the darkness of the tunnel, you see what looks like a large black poach. I was a little worried by the giant monster spiders and the striking wolf,

but these are some fine accommodations. As soon as you enter the courtyard of this. enormous looming castle. Welcome. Welcome. I'm friends. You stare at us. The master has been waiting for you.

My name is Michael, the bus I serve the master here. It's Count Morlock. He won't be so pleased to have you for temper. I wish you good night. Good night again. Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate it.

Sleep well. Good night. We're trying. We're really trying here. You'll find this place as quiet as the grave. As gets as dark as a crypt. Beware a skeleton. What?

What? As the skeleton looks at you and it says, oh shoot, I thought this was my room. As he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. Sorry. You guys had nightmares? I'm sorry to hear that. I didn't really have a nightmare. It was just like this weird shadow guy that came in my room and tried to have sex with me,

but I told him I had a headache. Oh, perfect? Yeah, but then he went to John Claw's room and fucked him all night, then. Whoa! No, I had a terrible evening. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, uh-huh. I was haunted by the ghost of my brother. You will be feasting, yes, with the moss.

Okay. He usually waits. Each must drink a full goblet of blood, orange mimosas. You are all standing in the hallway where your quarters are at as Yigors offers the tray

of these fruity alcoholic beverages. Is there champagne in this? No, of course not. Why? What makes it a mimosa? Oh, well, it's sparkling wine. Champagne must come from the province of Champagne.

in France, and we're in the dim wood. France doesn't exist in this unit. I swipe a glass and I smell it. How does it smell? It smells quite light, good. Refreshing, delightful. I slam it. Ah, wow, I really needed that.

Of course. How's delightful? I'll say, I'll say, don't mind if I do. It tickles my nose. Yes, and for you. You got two of them, because I've got two hands. Well, I could perhaps make another The kitchen is on the other end of the castle.

In the forbidden wings. Yeah, I mean, if you wouldn't mind, that would be awesome, because I don't want this hand to get lonely. Oh, and my knees are so agonized lately. Well, so seconded, I'll also have two, but I do have a question. And the count! Oh! What?

I say, maybe just another ride. Why is the kitchen in the forbidden wing? What's that all about? And why is it forbidden? The forbidden wing. Yeah. What's going on over there? Ah, if I told you that, I would have to kill you.

Violently. Uh-uh. Wait for the joke here. With the knife. Wait for the shooter drop. Oh, here comes. And pull your intestine. No. Ah!

Here comes the... And then eat your intestines. Ew. I don't think he's joking. Um... In Roblox. What the fuck is a robox? as a roadblock.

That's the other wing of the castle. The Roblox wing? That's a thing? I say it just legally means he can't be held accountable to his threats against it. Oh. Well, all right. Well, you know, we definitely want another round.

Some of us, several. So chop, chop, come on, hurry. Go, uh... Would you care for a bucket of bitch? Yes, we're all right. Will breakfast be served? You must have to go. appetite for the feast with the master.

How long do we have until that? Oh, just a few hours. All right. Well, set a hour. Your labor is required. Labor? Before that. Labor? Much to do. Much to do. Well, I can't get started on any kind of labor if I'm not significantly drunk. I must be going.

The bell toads in the cathedral of the dead. I must away. And he shrivels off. weird? That was weird. This guy's getting weird. You guys feel like that? Like, this guy's getting weird. I don't even remember seeing a cathedral on the way here. Me neither. A bell came from nowhere.

I had a straight out of nowhere. I mean, to be fair, there's a forbidden wing in here, but apparently the dead walk among us in some way. And death reigns supreme. Yeah, and he's gonna eat your intestines. Allegedly. In Roblox. Yeah, whatever that is.

Why forbidden? Why are in such a straight shooter? Do you think? I think he's gonna bring back those mimosas or? I hope so, I told him it was important. I know, but he sounded like he was going to the cathedral. Well, true. I guess we'll find out.

I don't think we're getting any mimosas or breakfast. We're having mimosas now. Yeah, we're not getting breakfast because he wants us to be hungry for dinner. I know, but I don't like to intermittent fast if I can help it. You are a growing boy. I am, and I need me nutrients. I know the rest of you slept all night, but I mean, I was... Well, most of us slept all night, but this guy over here was quite busy.

John Claude worked up an habitat. Holy, holy. Oh, holy. You probably lost a lot of weight last night, didn't you, buddy? He was a lot of five and a day right away. I was killing machine last night. What? The blood.

Huh? The I call. You know that's how it's pronounced? No, I don't know it went over that way. So much. I'm a little concerned about you. And I liked it. Oh, no.

Oh. I mean, look, I'm not gonna give you any grief for just wantonly killing things. I mean, sometimes it must be done. I just worked up an appetite, that's all. But anyway, I can last talk. I'm fine, I'm fine. Who invites a bunch of people to that castle

and then puts him to work? I didn't want to do any work. I mean, only said was labor. I just. Well, he said labor. He said, I, I, I, I, I, I, Tell us what it was.

It could be like... Thank God the bell went and he'd gone. I don't want to do any work. It could be, you know. It doesn't mean necessarily manual labor. Better not be. What if you're pregnant? What?

What? I don't think so. You shouldn't have the mimosa if you're pregnant. Too late for that. You had that whole thing real fast. Are you craving... Are you craving pickles, dirt, ice cream? Definitely not dirt.

I could go for some ice cream. I wouldn't call it craving. You want to put fries in it? No, not really. Yeah, you're not pregnant. Okay. Grumley? Uh, what?

You want to put some pickles of fries in your ice cream? Oh, I mean, uh, it does sound kinda good. Well, Grumley's pregnant. What? I'm pregnant? No, you're definitely pregnant, and I think we found out why he wants to stay you're gonna go into labor. How many litters do you think a pug can have? How many, how many pugs in a litter?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, does it vary from pug to pug or is it always the same? No, I think it varies from pug to pug. How's your stomach feeling? Is it like full? I mean, I go for some breakfast, though. I don't know. I don't want to get him in it fast if I can help it. Like, push on your stomach. Do you feel anything on the inside? Wait, are you saying it could be something on the inside? Yeah, little pugs. I don't like this line of dialogue right now.

I'm uncomfortable. Just telling you, I think you're pregnant. Maybe that's what he meant by labor. Wait, wait, wait. Do you guys hear that bell again? What? The bell went off again. The bells. No, no, he's coming back.

Well, at least maybe he has the mimosas. Grimmy, no more mimosis for you. He better have that damn mimosis. Yeah, you can't have any mimosas if you're pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Ice cream and pickles? But that's pretty normal, don't you think? No.

Sweet and salty, it's a classic mix. Do you want to put fries in your ice cream? Do you like chocolate-covered pretzels? No? Well, yes. Who doesn't have you come up? Those are like, those are like, those are normal.

We're talking like deer tier. Okay, okay. If I put a bowl of clay in front of you right now, would you eat it? A bowl of clay, no, I mean, that's not food, that's clay. Okay. What do I eat clay or dirt? What if I put a bowl of mashed potatoes right in front of you

and I squirted hot sauce all over them and then maybe some chocolate sauce, would you eat it? Yeah. You're pregnant! I'm telling you, you're pregnant. I wouldn't say no. I wouldn't not try. Um, let's move on.

I look to see if Ygor is coming since I heard him groan from down the hallway. Oh, you hear, and you hear the scraping. And I pray to all of the gods. But it's echoing throughout the castle and then it disappears. All right, it doesn't sound like he's coming back. Those bells are weird. It's not any kind of a clock. I thought maybe the owl had rung.

It's just tolling for some reason. It seems to be completely random. I love it. Yeah. You love it? Yeah. Well, whatever makes you happy, Betsy. It just sort of surprises you.

Comes out of nowhere. Okay, all right. Well, maybe the, I'll say, I'll say, remember the count uses the bill, the system of bails to summon his people. I'm gonna be honest with you guys. If we got a few hours to kill, the Forbidden Wings calling to me. I'm gonna go make my own mimosa. What I gotta wait on this day?

That's just what I was gonna say. We go to the forbidden. Let's go check it out. some fucking bosses. I mean, how bad could it be? We can make some breakfast, too? Well, I don't want to be that. We don't want to be rude.

We're gonna have breakfast. We can eat with the Count, the King, whatever's name is. The Lord of the Manor. We're gonna eat with him. But I need a mimosa, all right? Why, what does seem usually mistaken? And also slow and repulsive. And he sure does like to offer bitch.

I'm just gonna say it right now. That guy is a freak. I mean, we just got up. I'll say we're gonna stay in our room. I'm gonna stay in our room. I will be absolutely shocked if at some point during the course of our stay at this mansion it does not come to blows between us and Wykeyeville. Just gonna say it. No. We can't, we can't hurt him. Oh, he will most certainly make the first move. And then we'll be forced to beat him down into submission and destroy his lifeless body. Well, I mean, go for the knees if that happens. I mean, he did say that his knees were already damaged, so it's not going to take his long. He mentioned gout? What about? Yes, rights. I wanted to tell him only how to do his have his head.

some cherry juice and he'd be all right. Is that true? Oh, I don't know. I just heard someone say it once. Oh, my gout's flaring up real bad. Can you get me some cherry juice? So I did. I don't know if it helped. Fascinating. So which way to the forbidden wind? And I begin to look around to see if there. There's that

bell again. Bell told, it goes from beyond the castle. Do you think someone's getting married? You normally hear a lot of bells when there's a wedding. Yeah, but they're usually cheery. You know, not so melancholy and scary. I mean, everything about this place is a little melancholy.

Yeah. Yeah. They're saying, death reigns supreme, and you were visited by a skeleton last night. Yeah, but it was cool. It was, you know, at first I was like, oh, no, I was a little scared. Am I going to lie? Maybe it's a skeleton wedding. Maybe they use a spooky bed.

Where else but the forbidden wing? We'll go find it. Yeah, because if there's a wedding and that's where the kitchen is, I mean, it will be bustling because they'll be working on the cake and all of the food for the reception and stuff. What do you think they eat? Skeletons? Yeah. I don't know.

Flesh. It's spare ribs. Well, no, they probably eat cobwebs and things. What makes them... Maybe some spiders. It makes them spare ribs. Are they ribs that you don't need? What's funny about it is?

I need every rib that I've got. I'm certainly not giving any up. The bell's just making me hungry. I'm getting upset. Anyone else about craving for tacos? I don't think I'd have had a taco. Yeah, what's a taco? No, it's like, you know, and then it's,

and then there's, you know? We probably shouldn't elaborate on that anymore. I look for any sign of where there might be, I look around, just to see if there's any in the creation of which they have been. I would say, make an investigation check. We're playing Dungeons and Grand. Oh, shit, I don't even have ties.

13. 13. Oh, there we go. You look around and you get it since this castle's very old and it's very much of strange construction. But you feel like if you wandered around, you feel like you could probably find a forbidden. We didn't figure out where a kitchen would be in a castle. I pick a direction based on my sense of my perception

of what I've investigated. And I start to walk. You do. Not at a brisk pace, just leisurely. Okay, you do. I follow up. You feel like maybe we should just randomly walk into rooms and see what's in these places?

Oh yeah, couldn't hurt. I mean, we're already being snoops. We might as well just send it all the way, you know? All right, left or right? You take left, I'll get right. All right, gotcha. And we just begin to check door handles and, like, be really awful guests. That's really awful.

Most of them are locked. And just, like, when we can. Not this one's locked. Yeah. Yeah, same over here, locked. All right, well, you take right, I'll take left. All right, switch it up. We keep going.

We just, we're just casually checking doors as we're perusing through. Okay, I would like you to roll a D8 for me. Both of us are just one of us? Okay, okay. Feel that? Two. Five. Five.

Okay. Okay. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you. You make your way through the, through this castle and you're trying doors, and most of these, most of the rooms, especially as you're going into this wing

or this tower with various rooms are locked. and you keep checking, and it feels incredibly empty. You see the occasional skittering of small and relatively large spiders as they make their home, especially in the upper reaches, of these large vaulted ceiling rooms. You see the occasional painting or tapestry that looks incredibly old. And you see these forms, these illustrations, these weavings of this Count Morlock, seemingly as a very imposing, handsome bat.

As he appears to be some sort of warlord, as Booker, the first room that you open, is the bell rings again. And you're getting a sense that it's coming from outside the castle from beyond. from beyond the courtyard, from what you can tell. It's distant. It's distant. It's distant from where you're at. As you open and you find a... The first door that opens is surprisingly...

It gives you a little bit of trouble, but then you put some force into it, and it creaks open, and you see a very dusty armory. There are rows of suits of armor and weapons, and there's various spears that are all lining, this wall and on each of the, each of the spears is a skull. It's mounted a skull that seems to have rotted away long ago. But you see a wide variety of creatures, creature of skull types. You see that there is a bird. You see that there seems to be what might be a feline skull. But you see a surprising number of mole skulls. I actually, let's give you that. You probably

probably don't know what a mole skull looks like. I don't think I've ever met a mole. Yeah, maybe you probably haven't met a mole. I don't know what their skulls look like. I think Grumley might know what a mole skull would look like in his training. Those look like mole skulls. That's dark.

Do I recall the Lord of this Manor. Did Wygwer mentioned that he had an army or something about living statues or something? I'm making that up, living like armor. I thought he mentioned something about it. And maybe I'm, I could be entirely. I don't think so. Okay, I guess I may have just made it up in my delirium.

I thought he mentioned something, or maybe he was just saying that he like commands the dead. I can't remember. Maybe I made all that up. I'm gonna pretend like he didn't. I'm gonna pretend like he didn't. I just wanted to ask, just to make sure. Yeah, I can't.

Why, this is a fearsome display of, oh, the damn, fear some display of, why would he keep all these skulls on these spears? This is kind of dark. Is he saving him for later? He'll probably got them at the Spirit Halloween. So many of them. Yeah.

Well, once a year, they have a really huge sale, so if you want to decorate a really dreary, you know, Gothic-style manner like that. If that's your aesthetic, you could just go down there and just get tons of schools. Well, I suppose that's just good business. They're probably all, oh, my God, this is real. It's not fake.

It's not plastic. It's real. Cladders of the ground and breaks in half. Spiders skitter out of it. That one was real. But the rest are probably. Probably all fake. Probably.

So this is not Halloween decoration storage room? Ah. You know, one skull really doesn't tell us about the rest. I don't like the forbidden wing. Are we even a forbidden wing yet? We just went out of first hall. If this is not forbidden, what is forbidden? Oh my, he has a great question.

Do you guys think it's actually a forbidden wing? because I have a phobia there. Well, you don't really call something a forbidden wing if you don't mean it, you know? Well, that sounds pretty forbidden, man. I mean, are you really sure we should be going down there? Well, it's probably just what it's called. I bet he also has, like, the interior decorator's wing.

Oh. The unforebidden wing. That one sounds real life. The chicken wing, I mean, I'm sure it is. A chicken wing? Yeah. You're hungry, aren't you? That's the pregnancy talking.

No, it would be weird if I, chicken given that... Oh, good friends. We're a rude, hop, quaff. A chicken way. You're a rooster, though. Well, the rooster is just a kind of chicken. He's still a chicken.

I wouldn't be upset with you if you ate a toad. Well, because you're a frog. Exactly right. We should not discuss cannibalism such as this. Oh, we were talking... Oh, I thought you meant something else. I take one last look around this room. Yeah. As I think to myself.

And if there's nothing of interest outside of these skulls, I would close, slowly close the door. And you would see a full, there's tons of weapons of all manner. They look very old. And you would see that the interest would be the fact that there's, and what I would say is actually make, are you going to investigate or are you just kind of like, No, I'm, I think that's what you say. My goal was very much to just head to the forbidden wing,

to the best of our ability, and just look at things and be nosy as we're going by. I don't even want to step fully in. I just wanted to poke my head in, see, go to it, and keep moving. It was my thought. I don't want to investigate. You hear the bell.

It's getting more freaking. And you make your way through, and eventually, you feel like what the hell does a forbidden wing look like? Then you see a large, double door, that's carved of shrieking dead ghosts and skulls and tortured corpses that are all writhing and equal parts, agony and ecstasy as they kill each other.

In this horrific scene, there are children dying of plague, and there's all sorts of horrific vile scenes, witches flying on strange broomsticks and poles through the air. air, and there's a large sign at the top that's carved that says, Forbidden Wing. Well, there you go. It's as easy as that. You think that's it? Ah. Most likely, yeah. That is some provocative art. I was going to suggest if they called us here, that we just say, we couldn't have possibly known if we were in the Forbidden Wing, we don't know the Castle. But it seems how he had the foresight to

To write the name forbidden wing above the door, I think would. Just tell we can't read. That's a great idea, yeah. Do you think that he made the art after it was forbidden or before? Hard to say. It's a vocative, what give you that? What's your favorite piece of art if you had to pick one? This?

Yeah. Those people playing jump rope without other person's intestines. That's a good one. See, I'm a fan of the saggy hagass. I like the little devil. guy with he's real small and he's got a little pitchfork, but that giant penis, it's like hanging on the floor. It's a good piece. Why? Why is it so big? Are those supposed to be nuns? Why are the breasts so large? I knew that was coming. That's why they call them nunga nungas.

Whoa! Jean-Claug. What do you respond to this? Renaissance era Deadpard I find the whole display a bit unsettling and I'm still trying to figure out exactly why he would choose this section in the castle to prepare his blood-orange mimosa

You, the five of you who called it out, the little figures and critters that you call out they all turn and look at you suddenly. Oh gosh! And they open their mouth and in unison.

Holy crap! For this wing is forbidden. Shit, there goes on defense. The way of what? Stay out. Of what? This wing. Do you think he means the one, the wing that we're currently in?

Maybe we should go into the forbidden wing. Yeah, we should get out of this wing right right on. Oh, that's a good point. We're sorry. We're sorry. We'll get out of your really quick. Go on, go! Come on, go. We just have to be able to watch ourselves in quickly. Quick, quick, quick.

Go, go, go, go, go. You have to be. You have to be. Whaling souls. We get to the other side of the threshold. We, we are. My deal is so big. Yeah, we get to the other side of the threshold,

and I look at our ass, I don't know many things in life, but one of the truths is don't ever ignore the warnings of a fat-titty nun. That's true. I'm so glad we got out of that hall, but for something bad. happened. It was really kind of that big penis guy to tell us that we shouldn't be there.

Oh, it was very helpful, frankly. We could have been caught on the wrong side of the hall. When he turned around, I ducked. Just clean off your shoulders, you know. Quite impressive that he made a painting in three dimensions. Yeah, it's like a dark soul's dungeon. The dog's under the blades. The timing is very important. Yeah, they got to hit Rome.

sooner than you think. All right, now what? You see, as the door closes behind you, and you hear of a large lock, you see here, dozens of locks start to trigger behind it. You see a long hallway with several large, heavy doors. This room has no windows. It is completely pitch black.

the scorn, you hear the very distant muffled bell but you can still hear it, damn it. As you see that there are, that this room is so dark, you can see a hallway, but beyond that, it's very difficult to tell. Knife talk vision. So do I. Do you think that Weigur has to talk to them

every time he comes in here? Ah, that would get old quick. Yeah, that would get old real quick. That wasn't Weigel? Maybe that's why his knees are in so much pain, because he constantly has to duck every time that guy turns. Oh, he has to roll. Yeah, his agility is probably really low,

so he rolls slow. Yeah, where do you get gout? What part of the body? I think it's like a joint thing. Like just general your joints. You usually feed my feet. I thought it was that spot between your asshole and your ball sack.

That's not your gout. Oh, no, no. You're confused. You're confused. What is that? What is that? What is that pod? You know, I've said too much.

I've said too much. Look, we're one step closer to those mimosis. Let's keep going. Maybe there'll be like a kitchen tableau and they'll talk to us about mimosis. Maybe if we get lost, we'll ask the paintings. And we proceed for it. I lead the group towards hopefully mimosis. You...

I didn't think it had a name. You look... I fall behind Booker. If Beauregard was here, you would know. You think of Beauregard fondly. As you see how fondly really, that the first door you come across is made of iron. And not only is it seems to have a padlock.

It has chains. and iron bars, barring it. And it says etched in this strange script, you can make out the words, and it says, Count Morlock only. Oh, whoa. Well, there we go, the count. Do you think that's a suggestion or a requirement?

Suggestion for sure, I mean, you know. You know like speed limits. Yeah, it's suggestions, right? It's a guideline, more or less. Yeah. Granted, that padlock is pretty serious. It's a serious lock. Do you think that it's locked?

Is it, Booker? I mean, is it locked? You could try it, it might just jiggle free. I continue to make this egregious face at Bitsy as I am stunned by her suggestion, and I walk over very sarcastically in attempt to open the door, expecting it to be locked. It's extremely locked.

Well, you gotta pull the pan. I try to like jiggle the padlock and see if it unlocks. It's very heavily locked. Can you pick a lock? You've got to try. I could pick the lock. Well, I can pick locks. I don't know about this particular.

Oh, but you're not good enough to pick that. I might not be. You know, look at it. It looks like good metal. It's bigger than your head. It is. You know, you can have like 40 different, you know. Tumblers?

Yeah. Pins. That's what I'm going to grow. Pins. Oh. You could have like, 400 pins in there. Look at the size of that thing. But it says Count Morlock only.

But we already established that we can't read. Oh, you're right. Well, you know, Morlock's not spelled like you think it'd be spelled. And we also established that it was just a suggestion and not a hard and fast rule. Well, and here's the thing. We're gonna meet with them in a little bit anyway to have the feast. I want those mimosis.

We know where it's here. We can come back, right? I wouldn't assume they're behind this door. Yeah, I don't really need anything. in there anyway, especially if he's having a wedding right now. He's probably not in there. Could be. And Count Morlock only, well then we know

that Wygore's not going in there. So the mimosa's on in there. Did you hear that cough down the hallway? I swear. Who is it? That's Ygoor. I'm going to be so pissed. Hello.

Who's there? Are you a pervert? Aver or a cultist. Maybe it's just the door behind us. Or a skeleton. Make a noise. Sounds like somebody's got tuberculia lovers. Make a perception check.

Good Lord. How can skeletons cough? I don't think it's a skeleton. They're not. We don't have lungs. Yeah, thank you. How did he say anything to you in this place place? Oh, shit, you're right.

That's crazy. How big is your penis? That's a good question. 14. 14. You do hear down at the very end of this hall, sounds like coughing and hacking and scraping. And scraping.

Oh, it's just somebody making pancakes. Oh, in the kitchen. They're making breakfast. That's exactly what we should go. Mamosis are excited. Oh, thank God. We head towards the sound of promise of pancakes. I pause for one second, and I look up at the door with the chains and the irons and everything,

and I reread the words count Morlock only. And I very quickly just go, one more lock right and then I chase after everyone you do when you pass several doors that all seem to be of they all have padlocks they're all locked up

warnings keep out count Morlock only until you find the very last door in this wing and it is close but it seems to be unlocked as you see that there's a glow from between the doors,

and you hear a hacking and coughing and sounds like movement from inside. Hello to me. I really hope this is in the kitchen because whoever's hacking like that, better I'd be hacking all over the pancakes. Well, no, it's probably just the flowers getting up in the air.

Have you ever baked? Because sometimes it gets something in the air and then you're coughing. and sputtering and it's awful. Did he say sweet fantastic? I thought I heard sweet meat. Oh, so it is the kitchen. That's what I think.

Should we knock on the door? No, that's not really our style. Let's welcome myself in. You want to go first that? Coughing all over the food. Sure, let's find out. And I'm gonna try to open this door, I guess, to where we hear this voice.

You open the door. And the heat hits you in the surprising amount of this, despite how cold and frigid this castle is. The heat blasts as you open the door, as you see a roaring fire and a bubbling, a bubbling pot on there in the fireplace. As there seems to be some sort of stew being made. As you see a very strange kitchen.

all laid out. But it seems to be surprisingly well-stocked. As you see exactly who you expect to see. As you see Y-Gorne. As he's shambling around, as he has a very fancy orange press, and there is a very fresh basket of blood oranges, and he's cutting it.

And he says, Oh, next to ask me to make dairies He's using this margarita-filled machine. There's a very pristine margarita-ville machine with fresh ice in it. As he's... They'll eat their intestines. Oh, to have the plague.

attracted to all I meet. Hey, my God. Ah! It's his booker. Says Booker. Oh, what are you doing here? Well, you know, we thought about it, and we realized, you know, you said that you have conditions, gout, all sorts of stuff.

And we didn't want you to have to walk all the way back to us. And it certainly has nothing to do with the fact that we don't like you, that you're decrepit and you're too slow. We wanted to come meet you halfway to get those moises. How did you make it pass the door of the forbidden? What? What do you mean? The forbidden door with the spooky stuff on it. No, no, we talked to them. Well, they talked to us, really.

We were pretty taken aback. But they told us that we were, we shouldn't be where we were. and that we were supposed to come in to get away from the hallrooms. Did you not heed their warning? No, we did. They said, get out of the hallway quick, and so we did. We shot ourselves into the wing. Oh, there's the bell again.

The dead rest in the cathedral, and they rise, they are restless, I must provide their delightful Eichor. Okay, how about the Mimosis? Oh, the Mimosas, yes. Witchcraft! Bitch, are you okay? Oh, what's it matter? You've never seen an orange?

It's just using a press to make fresh-squeezed blonde oranges. Oh! Oh, Bidzzi! Oh, gosh, she's foaming! She's fuming in the mouth! She has died, we must feed her the... No, no, no, she's not dead yet, but she's choking on her tongue! Quick, quick, quick! Sting your fingers in there. Stick your fingers in there!

Get a tie out of a throat! Dips a ladle into the into the the cauldron. And you see that there's bits of carapace and spider eyeball. And you see Grumley that there are rows

that hanging up are the corpses of dozens of spiders and huge insects of wide varieties. You see that there are crossbow bolt and axe wounds on them. on them as they're all hung up. You see that there's some in a locker. Oh, we must feed her the I-Cola.

Oh, you don't need to worry about that. I've had to do this before, and I, with Bitsy's permission, shove my tongue down her throat to hold it open. Who, witchcraft? I got it, I got it. Oh. Oh.

Oh, what happened? Where am I? I'm holding a mimosis. I'm checking on you. Are you all right? Oh. It was real. All of it. What?

Look. Oh, they get restless. Oh, we must. Sorry, I lost the time. What happened? We found the kitchens. His Wigoy's making us our moimos. I almost returned you to life.

With. Isn't that your name? My name. My name doesn't sound anything like that. Your name's Wigel. It's Wigel. Yeah. Wait, say the other thing again.

The problem is I call. I have a small request. I'm really not feeling a mimosa. Could you make a blood-orangerita, maybe a frozen one? A blood-orangeita. Yeah. I'm more of a tequila girl myself. Peggy, it's like 7 a.m.

You do you, I'm not judging. It's five o'clock somewhere. This is far more cumbersome than they let on on the QVC. It takes 30 minutes to make fun. Oh, I'm trying. Oh, okay. Oh, the picture.

Oh, I'd never wash the dust out of the picture. I would be back. She probably doesn't mind the dust. Oh, there it goes. Pause. Bogwater. Okay. He wouldn't mind if I helped myself

to somebody stew for breakfast. I don't know. I mean, again, you do you? I mean, I helped make this, I'm pretty sure. I mean, like, I definitely killed at least some portion of these things. Wow. See that crossbow ball?

Yeah. Well, I missed that one, but then the big cool wolf guy, who don't really know his name, he nailed it right between the eyes. And see there, axe mark right there? Well, I was going for it, and I tripped him tumble on myself, and then he got it right in the back. Wow. Yeah, so I helped.

I don't think I made any of those wounds now, don't you mention it? You know, you can't really know in the heat of battle, right? It says, what happened. Oh, confound you. I don't think. Wow, that's really loud. That's obnoxiously loud. I-Corps.

I-core? I-core. I-core? A-core? Why would there be a pulse? Oh, they seek the eyes. They seek the icon. I must throw away soon.

They grow restless. You are weighing again? And filled with ire in a court. How often do you away? That's very funny. How often do you away? How do I know when it's done? Boer, whi-whi-w-w-w-w-w-w-w----------------------------------.

Oh, I have to wait for the whole song. The entirety of it's five o'clock somewhere begins playing. That is a banga. This song's slag. This never should have bought this thing. It took three years of wages. Why, Gore? Why is this hall forbidden? The forbidden wing.

Why is this wing forbidden? You should not be here. This wing is forbidden. Yeah, but we're here now. doesn't seem that forbidden. That's a lose in his mind. And how come you purchase the personal Margaritaville a margarita-making machine? Put your own money.

With your own money. With wages. Seems like something the count would at least, you know, give you money for, right? And you keep it in the forbidden way. And if you'd like spend like five, ten, 15 minutes on yoga every morning, those needs to, you just buff that right out.

Okay, the song is over. Oh, what would Jimmy Buffett do? Indeed. Oh, I'm not thirsty anymore, thanks. I'll take it. Oh, it's cold. No, thanks. Well, I'll say that looks pretty good.

You think you'll make a second? I mean, I have a couple more. My boy, you're at it. Make three of them. I know it's one at a time, but it doesn't sound like it. Make up, give one to Grumley. We'll take a few more. It's mostly ice.

It makes your teeth hurt. Isn't anyone going to drink that? No, I don't want yours. You take it. I'll take that. And then John and Claude I'll get the next two. Oh, say, grumbling. I must complete the ritual to create the icon.

Okay, but first make sure you can do in the margaritas. Come on, they're going to take a while. Let's go. Hey, you must wait. The either dead grow restless. There are two more to join me. There's a great feast to be had as the dead will feast and the dead will dance. Oh, yes.

He hobbles over to the pot. He goes, Rasa, come. The moment he abandoned the The moment he abandoned the margarita machine His eyes glow The moment that he advanced the margarita machine And goes over and starts completing this ritual I look at Jean-Claude and I say, this guy is fucking useless

And I go, I hit the button Coo Trying to like drown up a ritual to see if I can make the remaining two margaritas. Yeah, you can do the gung, gong, gung. Wait, all of us are completely oblivious to what's happening because we're making margarine. And then the fight, I'd like to drink mine.

Oh, we can fire Chaynes in this horrible sickly green. And from the flames, you hear, Mar-a-Rossum-y-Haw-Kah. That's all over here. We're listening to the song. Yeah. I'm hoping a log. Never on fun, Kay.

All right, fine. If you're making it all have, right. Oh, I got you. All right. As you make, song, so, so, so. Probably's got it. Probably's got it. So, so, so.

So, rough, rough, that. As why Gour conducts a horrific necromanic ritual. This is the best episode of D&B every year I know. This arc is amazing. This is the greatest thing you've ever done. This NPC is the greatest MPC you've ever created. This is the best thing you've ever done.

You can retire now. As this continues, as you all make, you make however many. I make three more. Peggy changed your mind again, so we make sure we have four arteries completed. It takes easily 40 minutes. I finish the picture of blood orange mode.

And then once the margueries are done, I dole the mount. Okay, all right, labor of love. Here we go, this is gonna taste great. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers, yeah. Oh, wow, that is cold. Oh, brain free.

Oh, fuck. All you have to do is hold the thing up to your head. You have to drink it slowly, grumman. You have to be enjoyed. Don't suck it down. As soon as it's the roof of your mouth, it's all over. Why, Gore? No.

We broke one of your glasses. We're sorry. You're going to have to clean it up. I know that's going to hurt your knees. It's real bad. And watch out for the glass. There's shards everywhere. You know what to cut yourself? It's hard to tell the difference. You mean shards and ice. And the floor will be... My a leicester runs low. You what? I must splitish quintessent. What? What do you mean?

Are those something about Ilana? Bill bastard? I don't know what he says. Oh, I think he's got a bit of a cold. There's this horrid, like, radioactive green sheen on the cauldron now as he begins to lay to let it into several large bowls as he gets in, I must away to the cachycombs beneath the Cathedral of the Dead, the area that is more forbidden than this. More forbidden?

Yes. The price for entering the forbidden wing. I will explain nature I don't have done. As he skippers away with the necropolis I call. More forbidden than forbidden. Do you think it's like five-bidden? Don't come in any of the rooms. There awaits.

When is your feast? Is it so? Tomb. Can we have the key? Can we have the key to that like iron door? Tomb. No, none. None shall find the keys.

Hidden beneath the welcome mat, the installment of the Margaritaville. You don't say, all right. Thank you. I don't know how we're gonna get in. All right, good luck, Wygorb. We'll be here. We'll never find it.

Highway, and I must nourish on the Iliester of the master. All right. He will nourish me from his very breast. Okay, thank you. Like the babe to his mother. Come on, get out of. You are just destroying

the mood. We were having a really great time. I was really enjoying this margarita. Did you just try and pocket sand us? What the hell was that? What are you doing? Get away. Get out of you.

You see that this radioactive, it's not really, it's more of a blue-green, it's like this turquoise that's bubbling in the cauldron, and it's this bright, this bright like turquoise. that's bubbling. It's almost like this neon turquoise as he carries the bowls of it away. It smells very strange.

Yeah. Well, we should probably go start looking in some of the rooms in the forbidden wing because he said don't go to the forbidden, forbidden catacombs and look in any doors there, which to me sounds like we should look in the doors here. Oh, for sure. Didn't he say he needed us for labor?

I think he meant later when we have dinner with the master. Oh, he did we did miss her. Yeah, I think we just, yeah. Of course, of course. Of course. The restashed a reason that this room had margaritas and butter on the tomatoes, the other is probably sort of concreters. Oh, what I would not give for a conchriter.

I think we should check them out. I think he said what the key was, Booker. I look under the Margaritaville welcome mat. What are you talking about? You actually find a welcome mat right out front of the door. It says the weather is here, wish you are beautiful. It's a bigger, absolute banger. And you find a large key shaped like a skeleton.

Look, look what I found is shaped like a skeleton. I know. I wonder what that opens. Why's that key so suggestive? It's shaped like the whole skeleton, but like half of it's, you know. Yeah, whoever made this key, didn't they know there are no bones in the penis? It's actually a full skeleton in the key is his dick.

Dickies, Dick. Wait, he's got like seven or eight bones there. That's crazy. There's no bones in the penis? No. Depends on who you are. Why is it called a boner? Oh, this is a good question.

Actually, yeah, I don't know how to answer that. How would you not be bones there? I should have thought about that when I created the world. No, there's totally bones there, right? No. I mean, he's got them. He's got seven or eight of them. If someone went up to you and just cracked your penis,

no bones would break. No, it's like one of those plastic snakes. They have just a lot of joints. It's like a vertebrae. I think it's more like a slinky. Let's move off. I think mom's hollow. Oh no.

Like a straw. Booker gets suspiciously awkwardly quiet during the penis bone conversation. And it looks like he doesn't want to engage in conversation. I'm going to try that door. Which one? The iron door count Morlock only. Well, I think, like, all of them were iron doors, and several of them said count more like only.

The one that we saw first, that one seemed especially interested. Which one? The one we saw first, that one seemed especially interesting. Yeah, which door did we see first? I don't know if I saw the same door you did first. There were, like, tons of doors in this hallway. Booker, what's wrong? You've been suspiciously quiet during the penis bone gum.

Listen, Bradley, we talk about a lot of things, but I feel like this is a threshold. We shouldn't cross. What is? Entering the forbidden zone? Well, in a way, yes. Why are you talking about the penis bone conversation? The latter.

The latter. The former. Wait, wait. The ladder. Oh, we can stop. Oh, I didn't mean to get you down. Well, it's just that I can confirm that I have bones in my penis.

I have bones in my penis. Don't we all though? Look, I can't speak for you. I can only speak for myself. But there are very clearly bones in my penis. Oh, so you thought it was a raccoon thing when no one else has bones in your penis? I don't know. I don't know if it's just me.

I don't know if it's raccoons in general. He's saying that he's not a penis expert. He's simply a penis specialist. Why are you sharing this right now? Why can you point that thing? It just seems pertinent, though, right? The thing about breaking the penis, It's a really, uh,

visceral reaction. I don't like that. It's just one, one big long one. This guy got like seven or eight. You only got one. It's not like the snake thing where it has in the neck of joints. No, no, it's solid.

It is, uh, it's a bone. Oh. Oh, that, uh, that sounds un-cline. How about we go find that door? Okay. There, there. I mean, this and you know. It's gonna be okay, but the door.

I don't know. It's fine. No one's gonna break your bone penis, all right? I hope not. Just strike it from your mind, all right? I made it this far in life. I promise, Booker, I'm never gonna snap your penis. Oh, oh.

I'm not making that promise. Let's fucking get out of you. All right, bitchy, let's go. We go try to find Count Morlock's door. There's several doors that are heavily locked. If you want to go to the first one, you absolutely kept. The first one that looks like the Count Morlock only door to me, I will go to.

Yeah, you do. And as soon as you enter the key and turn it, all of it just completely falls off. Oh, oh. And the door, you see now that there's a faint glow of strange light that goes between red and blue and green and then red and blue and green again. There's some strange light in there.

That's, I don't know what could be. It's probably a late. and then it just sort of cycles through. Could be a party? It could be one of those Wi-Fi-activated hue lights. Made be. Oh, like you unlock the door and it triggers a scene that had the turns on the light

and runs a spectrum of colors. Yeah, no, exactly right for people who have enjoyed a nice margarita or a mimosa, might want to have their hue lights on for a party. Get you into the mood as you get into the mood. Well, what are we waiting for? If there's a party, I want to be a part of it. Yeah, come on, follow me.

All right. I walk out. And you see this dim room that is let by the strange glowing hues that are vibrant of red and blue and green. As you see rows and rows of cases, tall glass cases that go from the floor to the ceiling, lining every wall. And you see in these glass cases there are shelves. And on the shelves are dozens and dozens of strange dark objects. It's hard to tell. And you see that the glow is coming from the edge of the room.

And you see the edge of the room is a what looks like a, almost like a throne. And in front of it is a strange square thing that's glowing with this, and strange contraptions glowing with this blue and green as they all go back and forth in this strange dancing light that illuminates this dim room. I've never seen anything like this. What's going on? I don't know. I've never been to a party quite like this before. Is it magic?

No, I'm the only one that has magic. That's true. That's what I thought, but it looks pretty magical. It's probably a Wi-Fi-enabled hue lamp. I don't know any of those words. Not me neither. What are those words mean? Well, why don't you just,

just go up to it and touch it and see what happens. All right. You look past, and as you walk in, you realize now as you look closer, that these are figurines, strange figures that have been carved out of wood and painted, of a variety of strangely proportioned and extremely voluptuous women of a variety,

somehow many bunnies, some cats, But there's figures and figures and figures of these characters that are all throughout that are very inappropriately dressed. And it's not very tasteful by any means. As you see that there are thousands of these figures in these glass cases. Mom? Oh, boy. Like, like, like our size figures? Oh, no.

It's like small figures. Like figurines in these glass cases. This really reminds me of the foxes hole. Also, I miss the strip club. These, all these like carved statues, and they look, tittle-tiddly in nature. They're like, designed to make you all sexy up. This is gratuitous.

Certainly doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Are they magical? Are they real? They just look like figurines. Let me... I'll open one of the cases. I'll open one of the K-foods. You do.

It is pristine in here. There's no dust. All right? It's got a weird smell for a second. It is a little weird. It's a bit of a weird smell. Ew. It's a stale air?

I mean, what's the problem? I don't necessarily want to touch that. Do you think it's a key, like another key? No, no. I mean, does it appear to be like, have like craftsmanship? It seems to be very finely crab. It seems to be probably very expensive. It seems to be collectible.

Those look expensive. If I break it, I'm never going to be able to pay back the count. I don't really want to. I'll look at the bottom. I'll give it a once over. Just to get a sense of, it doesn't seem to be an art, an art object. You see that on the bottom, it says,

it says, one out of 500. One out of 500. Wow, this is one 500's the size of the actual being that this is a statue of. One 500, that thing must be huge. It's bigger than they are. So it's got to be a statue of a godlike creature. Those things are enormous.

They must be the size of houses. Do they all say that? Well, maybe there's different sizes. Man, one 500th. Is anybody else getting the urge to be sat on? Grab the Levi in the maid costume. See what that means. Just me?

Okay, never mind. One out of 25. Okay, well, that one's much smaller than the other one. Still much smaller. I mean, but still imagine that. It's a giant. Wow. Well, maybe 12 feet tall?

Well, if you can sit a surface there, anything expands out the other way as well, it's actually probably just not that big. Wow. What's that smell? That's the Funko Pop. What about, why don't you try that one on the Salem Move one down there? Wow, this one's a little bigger than the others. One out of a thousand. Oh my God.

She must be the queen. Do you think that this one gets bigger or this is just a model of the one that's actually out there? I don't know. I have no idea. We should put it back and leave right away. Can you imagine if that one, if it got bigger right here in the room with it, we would die. We'd be smashed up into paste against the walls. Yeah, we should get out of here. That's why this police may have been locked. We should leave. I agree. We should get out of here.

That's all that's in here is just these weird, sticky figures of very large women. And Levi in a made costume. Does that look like that's all in? There's a strange contraption at the very end of this that's glowing with red, red, green, green, green, blue. Well, maybe that's the big of fire. Maybe if you put it on it, they get giganticized. Maybe you'll make me bigger. I think we should look at it.

I'll go check it out. What the hell is that noise? I'm repulsed. You see that there's just the strange everything. There's this strange set of contraptions and a threaded cable that seems to all connect all of it. You have no idea what it's made out of, but it's glowing.

All of it. It's glowing like that. I get really nervous. Red, blue, and green. It seems to basically go from red to blue to green and red to blue to green as it flashes back and forward that's almost hypnotizing. It is.

I don't know why I feel like this. I'm having trouble focusing. What is it? I don't know. Don't hurt yourself, Bitsy. Make me taller and bigger. I'm going to just push my hands against it. Not gently but not overly.

Like, I'm not hitting it. I'm just trying to firmly press into a panel and see if I can activate whatever witchcraft this may be. You press it, and nothing really happens. It just kind of flashes strangely as you do. And the front of this, it's almost like, touching glass. It's almost like it's something made out of glass. It is flickering with this strange light. You see it like a button on it? I look for a button. I look for a button.

What was that? You hear a horrid sound as the light floods the room of this TV. Oh my God. Surprise! We should go! We should go! We should go! Bitsy, I need to make a wisdom say to you. Bitsy! My dark vision! A sky!

God, my eyes! I'm not! 22. Bitsy! As you... I see green rolling hills, a blue sky! You see as a... As your mind starts to warp,

but you're the insanity that you have resisted. You feel like you have a moment to escape. As you look down, you see next to the street. There's a variety of letters on this wooden board and beside it seems like it looks like a version of you. It looks like the same species as you. It's looking up and dead. As there's a shrunkified mouse that's on this strange table,

as the utter horror fills you, you feel you just a moment before something awful happens in this room. Ah! Let's see Grumley. Bixie, where are you? I had to put a moment. Just give me a chance. I launched the pinball.

You do that. As you launch 3D pinball. We're still screaming. I've been blinded by this flashbang that has basically gone off. You do that. As you experience

a fever dream that you can't possibly imagine. What you've experienced is an Eldridge nightmare that even in your strange imaginings you'll never replicate as suddenly your consciousness leaves you and you're standing outside of the door

as the red, blue, and green of all of these strange contraptions fills the room as the door slams behind you. All of us. Yeah. I will hit the ground as I get my bearings. Ah! No! No! My margarita, I dropped

it. I wasn't done yet. No. Oh, damn it! What was that? I don't know. Bitsy? Yeah. Okay, good, you're here.

I still can't see. My vision's coming back slowly. I'm just seeing those weird, bright orbs every time I close my eyes. Are you blind? No. My eyes just hurt. Oh, yeah, me too. Well, wearing off, it's wearing off a little bit, but ugh.

I don't think we were supposed to see that. I saw beyond. Beyond? What did you see? I saw paddles. Okay. A number getting bigger ever growing. I'm sorry, what?

I saw a ball eternal till it fell into the abyss. Whoa. Sometimes there were multi-balls. Multi-balls, you say. More than one ball? What does it mean? I think I saw beyond the world. Was it a vision?

Prophecy? Did it tell you to do something? Or not to do something? Did it give you the numbers to the next power ball? No, I... Do you feel bigger? Do I look or feel bigger? No.

It didn't make me bigger. Oh. These mysteries are beyond me. I can't say. I don't know what happened. We should never speak of this again. And I think we should leave the forbidden wing immediately. We don't check any more rooms.

No, no, definitely not. Definitely not. I think you're right. I believe our hubris has gotten the best of us this time. We've seen things that no creatures to see, and we'll never forget them. I just wanted a feast. I just wanted a margarita. Well, I wanted a mimosa, but then I found the margaritas, and it's a natural progression.

Well, you could go make another one before we leave the Forbidden Wing if you wanted. It's a really long time. You're right. Yeah, and then we have to wonder, as being in one of these rooms, are we still technically in the forbidden wing, or is the wing only the hallway outside? Because this is a room unto itself. I think the wing includes the hallway and the attached rooms. So then we can't go back to the Mimosa,

the Margaritaville machine, because that's in the wing. All I'm saying is nothing bad happened by the Margaritaville machine. So maybe it's just this room that's cursed then and not the forbidden wing itself when we could go into another room. Because so far it's been 50-50 in the rooms. How many rooms are there?

Like hundreds. Seem to go on forever. It's one for one in the locked rooms. Oh. So we just don't unlock any other rooms and we just go into unlocked rooms. We'll probably just find more cool stuff. I think I hear Wygore coming.

Why don't I just post up and stand guard out front to make sure nobody comes in? I don't hear Y'Gore. And you guys can keep exploring. I totally do. Okay, I'm gonna go stand outside to make sure that that demon doesn't have too big of a penis. Okay.

All right. And I'm gonna try to like awkwardly like shuffle out and like just try to get out. Out of the forbidden wing? Out of the forbidden wing. Okay. Do you think he's doing all right? No, I think he's scared.

Oh, this is one of his phobias. For sure, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Gromily, how's it going? Are you getting the door open? Do I make it outside of the forbidden wing? You attempt to get out of the forbidden wing. And you realize that it's lies.

Please. No, no, let me out. Please! This place was forbidden You shouldn't have come in here Book up, please. Pick the law. We were very clear in our instructions And our warnings. I don't even see locks on this side.

It's just the doors shut, the sliding. We're not supposed to be here. I think that the, oh, easy. Hey, hey, go easy on the door. Ow! Oh, yeah, that's gonna be hot. Oh, he dislodged his shoulder again. Oh, no, it's just a bruise a little bit, I think.

This is a sturdy wood. Looks like a rare Rhodesian. It's a rare, Well, it puts a margarita up against your shoulder that way. Oh, that feels very nice, actually. All right. Okay, well, we can't go back. Do we still have the key?

Did you hold on to the key? No. That's not the key, yeah. All right, well, that's a good sign. I don't know if the key works on this door, but it works on the other door is presumably careful with that. That's, oh. Think about what you doing.

Oh, oh, yeah, well, what? The door, I'm saying maybe it'll work on this door. Maybe, is there I could. Keyhole? Do we see a keyhole anywhere on this door? Not on this side, no. Damn it, that's what I was afraid of. I don't think this is going to work. There's no keyhole. Yeah, well, we gotta go elsewhere.

We can't stay here. I mean... We need to find our way out. Just keep unlocking to us until we find a way out. Also, I hate to admit it, but we probably got to find Y-Gor. You might be the only one who can get us out of here. Oh, God. I don't want to be late for the fees. I hate it as much as you do, but we got to do what you've got to do here. We could go back and we could just stay by the... The stew.

Isn't that supposed to be the feast? Well, or we could travel further to the even more forbidden wing and find him in the catacombs, the crypts. That's true, he did tell us to go to the more forbidden wing. He's slow, too. We'll catch up to him, no problem. All right, let's do that. All right, let's figure it out.

Which way did you go? That way, somewhere, it's deeper. Just deeper down into the wing. I'm sure there will be another sign with more horrific art and there'll be telling us even more horrific whispers and warnings and we'll just go forward. in case I'll unlock all the doors along the way. Good nut.

Okay. I need you to roll a D-100. You roll D-100 for me? Yeah. What does it listen to my level? Eight. You open one door and you unlock it as you see a site that's utterly horrified. You see a round table with eight seats.

And behind the door are eight skeletons playing cards. And one turn that says, excuse me, this is a lot for a reason. This podcast is brought to you by our Legends of Aventrys Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Aventras and gain access to tons of exclusive Legends of Aventris perks, including a monthly movie night with Legends of Aventrace and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign by Legends of Aventras set on the high seas. Trout over Saltmarsh presented by Legends of Adventress. You can also go to the Crooked Moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement.

The Crooked Moon, a folk horror toome for Dungeons and Dragon 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all them extra goodies like dice and miniatures and plushes and a tarot deck and more. Thank you from Legends of Adventress. You witness as these skeletons are playing cards. I'd say, excuse me, this is a private game. Oh, oh, hey, it's you. Bro, I'm so sorry. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I thought that was my room. Sorry about that. No, you did it to me last night. Now, here we are doing this to you. No, you go ahead. No, you go ahead. My name's Booker. I just want to say my name's Booker.

Oh, I'm Doug. Doug. Yeah, Doug. It's a pleasure. It's a pleasure. These are my friends. Hi. Hey, hey.

This is Doug. He accidentally walked in my room last night. She scared me, but he's a nice guy. What are you guys playing? We're just playing a little poker. Oh, nice. Who's winning? Who's winning? Oh, oh.

Skeleton never tells. That's the thing about skeletons. If you never tell, you'll never tell me what the fuck this is. I'll hold up the key. You know, we're just trying to play a game here. We should really just let it be back to it. too often. I think we've over stayed out well. We're just trying to, you know.

We're sorry. We'll lock up on the way out. Count Morlock hosts, you know, the executive game. These guys play a lot to be here. Oh, are you going to be at the wedding later? I'm just trying to, we're just here to play some cards. Okay. Playing some cards. We get the hint. We'll lock up on the way out, Doug. I'm so sorry. I apologize.

Might be seen you a feast later. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye. We, please lock up. Goodbye. Quick. Shr, thank you, thank you. Oh, I was done.

He's the guy who walked in my room last night. Nice guy, though. I thought you were crazy when you said a skeleton came in the room. Well, I thought I was crazy, too. There were eight skeletons in there. Playing poker. Pretty crazy. Never seen anything like that before.

Me neither. We should continue. Do you think he was Texas Holden or some other variant? Hard to say. With Doug, you never know. He's a wild card. It wasn't that funny. Are you laughing or crying?

I feel as though something unreparable happened to you in that other room. It's just fundamentally altered at a level. We can't fully understand. And there's no going back. You can't put that back in the box. You should probably go in another room. I just want to find the feast.

I want to find Wygoyom. I want to go to the feast. Yeah. Let's go to the feast. Our best better should head directly for the catacombs. You said to be there. Yeah, sure. Well, it said the catacombs are...

I swear it all that is good. Under the cathedral? Which is outside the castle? Is it? I figured it'd be connected, some sort of... I thought he said it was outside the castle, but... I mean, we're in some kind of... I don't know, creepy forbidden a wing.

We've got to find the more forbidden wing. Yeah. It might connect. Who knows. He's hoping. Just trying to unlock all the doors and really quickly check them and see if one says, Catacoon.

This is the third time I've tried to make this joke, but we should go to the five-bidden wig. Biddy. Thank you. Fucking thank you. Goddeme. I heard it every time. Bixie, I laughed every time.

I appreciate it. I also heard it every time. And... I don't have to say. All right. Let's go to do. at the dogacombs. I like that one.

Let's go to the dog of combs. We go to the dogacombs. Yeah, we try to find the even more forbidden wing and the catacombs and all that. The catacombs are not outside of the forbidden wing. We just need to find a way out. He made it sound like he was a weighing to a connect. I don't believe it.

Is it all doors? The see your passage. Are there windows? No, no windows. It is, it is, there's more doors. We just just try. every door until we find a way out of here. All right.

He had to have left somehow. Yeah, he said, that guy, he's not telling us everything. I open a random door, whatever we're closest to, after a few minutes of walking and talking. You open another door. Mm-hmm.

And you find it is a room that the sight of orange hits you. And this room is filled, not glass cases, but shelves and shelves, as well as pillows, uh, blankets, uh, figures, things on the walls, paintings of this,

is it a celebrity? It's a strange orange cat who seems to be a little portly, and it's Renfield. And this is a lazy fat cat that the count seems to be collecting all sorts of things about this cat celebrity Renfield. You actually recognize Renfield. Oh, did Renfield?

It's a traveling stage show about an orange cat. Oh my God. I love you. That's actually, it's old, from old Felicia. Yes, it's an old-timey traveling play. What do you mean you know him? I used to watch his Saturday morning plays. Oh, who's a comedian from Or Felicia.

Oh my God, how does he know Redfield? Oh, oh, he's a clever character. You see he hates Mondays. Really? He has an appetite for an otter tally, Octavian dish known as lasagna. That's right. That's the whole thing?

Yeah, well he loves lasagna pizza. And who the fuck eats lasagna pizza? Oh, no, it sounds pretty good. I knew a guy once ordered 400 clams worth of lasagna pizza. Holy crap. That's 2025. That's just what everyone had done.

It's 2025. We're a different year. We're a different year. It's good. You're going to put it out. It was two years ago, number-wise. It's 20-25. Just in case everyone forgot.

Can we let 2020-free die? We cannot. Leave it in the past. I was just trying to make a lasagna pizza dough. I wasn't trying to bring in the 400 clams. I don't think there's a way out through here. Now this just looks like another weird room. There's a beanbag with his face.

I'm not touching that, that's for sure. I don't think he was that popular. I mean, this is a lot of merchandise for that one guy. Oh, man, it's everything you can possibly think of. There's a blow-up punching bag. You actually see that there is a strange, it looks like a strange, it's a Redfield laying down,

and he's laying in an orange bed, and his tail is connected to a wire or a string that seems to go up into a tiny hole in the wall upwards. It looks like a phone, a Garfield phone. Uh, thank you. Who's this other character who always wears blue sweaters and glasses and does, does he understand Renfield or is he just talking? He seems like a lonely, lonely man. What the fuck is that thing?

Oh my God! That's a monster! Is that a hairless ape of some kind? It must be, I don't know. Oh, it looks like the Aescelot! But worse! That is one unsettling creature. Ah, oh. No, they hadn't gotten to the point where he needed to, like, add a sidekick to try to revitalize his act.

They hadn't gotten there, yeah. I saw him. Oh, man. Well, I guess we're travels overseas, huh? Hey, do you think we can go up this rope? You could try. I give it a little tug. It's very thin. It's almost like a, like a can on a string, almost, and so it's very small. It doesn't feel like you may be able to hold your weight. It may snap. It seems to be connected to this wooden thing on top of another wooden thing. I will stand onto the wooden thing holding the thin rope. Yeah. And I will temper it, I'll just grip it and sort of let my weight hold it and see if it snaps. You do that.

Make an acrobatics check. 20. 20. You hold onto it. It gets taught. It does hold your weight as the bell. tolls as you uh it's this this thing is very small it's only this big figure of Renfield as um as uh as uh you you pull on it it doesn't seem break

I will start to make my way up and you realize the hole is like a pin a pin pin hole oh it's not like a I can't go up and into a hole I mean you can look you there's a there's it's a tiny like it's got a telephone I may be small but I can't fit up there why don't you talk into it See if anyone responds. Hello? You sound real sick. Who is this?

It is a black omen to invade the Count's Man Cave. What? What did he say? Who is it? Is someone talking to you? Yeah, I heard a voice. Did he tell you how to get out of here? They said it was a black omen.

Ask the directions. How do we get out of this cave of man? Do not touch. Watchmind Renfield collection. What are you going to do to stop us? Can you ask him what time dinner is? Get hungry. Do you know what time dinner is?

We're getting hungry. You are in the forbidden wing. See, that was unclear. The spooky things made it really unclear. It is very clear. Do you tell him how unclear it was? Yeah, I said it was really unclear. What did he say about that?

He's just breathing real heavy. Sounds like he's in that stature room. Do not go into the dungeon before they feast. If we knew how, we might. Do not go to the door across from the kitchen, which is the dungeon. He is a block owner. When I'm you telling if he told us where the door is,

we could avoid it. Yeah, well, we'll leave as you tell us where the door is. Stop breathing like that. What do you do? You will feast on the bread and salt of the castle and meet with me. I require a lawyer. The bread and salt of the tassel. I'll say, what's he saying?

He's talking about tassels. The bread and salt of the tassel. What does that mean? Bread and salt of the tassels. Is that a, what is that, is that a riddle? Ask him. Does that have anything to do with the room full of, like, naked women?

Do we get any hints? Do we get any hints? I must tend to. the dead, I will see you in the hour. Oh, wait, wait. In the feasting. Ask him how seasons four and five of Redfield were. I didn't see that. He's talking about going to the feast and tend him to the dead.

How, what about season? I'll say, I said, did you ever find out who this is? Who, who is this? You speak to Count Morlock. Oh, this is Count Morlock. Oh, tell him, tell him, thanks for letting us stay here. He's got a lovely place. The mimoses were nice.

The mimoses were nice. We dropped the glass. We're starting. We're starting. We're on the edge of death. Ask him, ask him if he's looking to someone to fill Igo's role. Would you like another Ygor? We could make another-

Seasons four and five were all right. I preferred Renfield babies. He said something about Renfield babies. Oh, I never go. I got around to watching that one. Oh my God, Rentfield's the one that's pregnant. What? We should leave.

All right, where are we going? I've seen those stacks on that O'Rae. Do you tell us where to go? He said something about maybe there's a way to the dungeon and then the stew room where we made the margaritas and the blood orange bar by the kitchen. Yeah.

Okay, we'll go back to the kitchen. Let's go. So we're supposed to go through the door opposite the kitchen? What? Let's go to the dungeon. That's what he said. Yeah. That's what bitchy said he said.

Across him the kitchen, let's go. Okay, great, let's go. Oh, what a friendly guy. We rushed to the dungeon. That's nice for him to tell his way to go. Awesome, how did it sound? Do you sound like he was in a good mood? He sounded very sick.

What do you mean? Well, you get breathing real hard, it was a death rattle. Well, I don't keep saying there's something about a plague going around. Did he? Why go said that? Well, I mean he's been, oh, I want to get the plague

is kind of what he's been saying. Yeah, he wants to get the plague? He was muttering under his breath something about how everyone he comes in contact with he gives them the plague. No. I thought he said he was falling in love with everyone he comes in contact with and that itself was the plague. Oh, you know what? Maybe you're right. Oh, it's so hard to understand. No, I think he was saying that he falls in love with the plague and he wants to get it.

Well, it really was once I tasted that margarita, I just stopped listening to him. And even before that, I was in and out. To be fair, we haven't really put much stock in anything, he said. Exactly. I mean, what? Bitsy, did he say why he invited us here to the feast in the first place? Or what he wants us to do in the catacombs? If he needed anything? No, he just breathes real heavy.

Oh, he didn't say you needed anything at all? The plague will do that too. Like not a lawyer and attorney or anything? No. I bet he does, though. Anyone that close to death needs to talk to an attorney. Yeah, he's got to provide his last will in testament before he goes. I wonder what he's going to do with all his weird shit.

I'll say you can't just leave that room a weird doll's there. It's got to go to the right person. Especially if they get that big. Well, this is something I specialized in was last willing testaments. Before I was disbarred, of course. But you don't have to be disbarred. You don't have to practice in a court of law to help draft a last willing testament. I mean, that was one handsome Renfield man.

Why didn't you ever have a mouse character? It seems obvious. decades, decades, though. In the comics. Here we are, the kitchen. You see the door across. You see the door across, and it seems to be the oldest door that you've seen, it seems to be almost made of stone.

This looks like the oldest door there is. It seems to be made a stone. Why do you think it says catacombs do not enter? Or dungeons do not enter. Everything says do not enter here. It's crazy. We've got pretty good luck though. It's been fine.

I'll try. Okay. Does it look like there's a skeleton penis keyhole? It does. You just put the dick in it. Keyes never made that noise. Oh, I had a feeling it was that kind of dungeon. Things are really heating up.

I don't think this key's gonna work anymore. Get it That key is spent. Oh no, just get the key a little Gatorade. It actually is completely spammed. It's limited use.

Some fluids, a little rest. It's in the refractory period. You're going to be okay, little key, man. God, it didn't even last a minute. No, it just one pump. Think about how many times we use that key. That's true. Just three times.

I'm more than I'm up all even, you know? Is that more it says keenness on it? You hear the skittering of spiders as a law, a spiral staircase down into the castle is before you. Narrow, tight, low ceiling, the dungeon awaits before you. I think we found the dungeon. All right, this is gonna be totally fine. Cool, right? Nothing left to do, but head on down.

All right, well, Grumley, you first. Oh, well, no, I'm he first. John Clark, you should go first. He's probably looking for an attorney or so. We will, I think, just read, well, I mean. I think you should go first. Well, I don't have dark vision. I've been in many a dungeon in my life. I'll go first.

All right, Peggy, it's for the best. I'm right behind you, defending you from behind just in case somebody sneaks up behind us. Perfect. I'll stay back here. I open my mouth and my lightning bugs come out, and I will lead us down the hallway of the dungeon. You make your way and you find a horrid dungeon. There are many cells, some with bits of bone,

a variety of different species. And there seems to be, every cell seems to only just have the stench of decay and death. And it's dark, it would be completely pitch black black if it was not for Peggy's fireflies. And at the very end of this strange, it's almost maze-like. You make your way down the various different hallways and you see various rusted cages. You see a single cage in the far back and you hear the rattling of chains as you see the most bars that seem to be heavily reinforced with a heavy padlock and the light from the firefly

He's glint on gray fur. As you see an old cat that seems to be completely emaciated, covered in torture wounds. As his eyes are closed, he's chained up. He's actually chained, hanging from the ceiling by the chains. As he's ragged breathing, but he seems to be alive. Oh my gosh. Holy crap.

He must have had a good time. What's going on? Hey, hey, you. Oh. Are you alive? Oh, what was that? What? I said, are you alive?

Am I in hell? Maybe, I don't know, we're in a castle, a dungeon. I am dying. Oh. Oh, no. Does any of us have anything for that? Do my eyes deceive me? Let me see if I can try the door real quick.

Come on, little guy. Just give it the shrimpie. Come on. It's just like this. Oh, no. Come on. There's nothing we can do for you. I'm so sorry.

If only add bones in his penis. His eyes open, and there's kind of like this milky white as he looks and he says, Living things that aren't that vile rat. There's a... Perhaps I'm not in hell after all. Well, I'm Peggy.

Bucca. I'm Bidsey. I'm so close. Oh, rude. You're not introduce yourself. I'm Grumley. Thank you. What's your name?

I'm Professor Albin Eberhard von Fuzz. Is there something shorter we can get a nickname? I'm never going to remember that. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm just going to remember Fuzz. Most people call me the professor. Okay. That's easy enough. That's easy. Even this stupid

looking mouse could perhaps remember. How long have you been? been here for. I've lost Count. My time here on this planet is short. Are you okay? No! Yeah, you know. I'm gonna be honest with you, your wounds smell pretty bad. It's not good. I am the mortal nemesis of Count Orlock, for he is not what he seems. His name's Orlock?

Morlock. Oh, shit. I thought that was information. Count Morlock. is not what he seems. No, he's not what he seems. He is a demon, a creature of the night. He's vile and evil. That's not a...

First he was old bitty and now you're over yet. Death rains here. We've been told. I don't know how far we heard that. We were done. All right. He doesn't seem so bad. I mean, he saved us from a deep dark tunnel

and then served as... Mimosas and margaritas. And his man, Yigua, gave us a whole bunch of peed. Well, that guy sucks. Let's be real here. That guy sucks. The Y-Gore's guy sucks. Well, no, I mean, no argument, no argument.

But by extension, he has offered us quite a bit of items. Wait, what did you say your last name was? Fuzz, I will not make it out, but I have one living relative. My dear grandson. He doesn't have to happen to be like a police officer. Yes, he is. How do you know? Oh.

Oh, no, he's totally, I'm sure he's, Oh, I wish to see his face. Oh, I wish to see his unburned, unburned face. So about your time here in the cells, about your time here in the cells? Please find him. I don't think that's gonna happen, let's move on.

We will find him. Do it. Please fight him alive. He's in Potsville, he's in Potsville. Well, he might have been. Yeah, I say, weren't you guys in Fathers? My dear grandson. That's what I'm from.

That's where I'm from. Now, look, Mr. Professor Buzz, I need you to focus. Hey, he commands the dead. Your grandson? He creates an army of the dead. He wishes to leave these dark caverns. The count?

Yes. Oh. So if you're his mortal... He seeks a bride. I told you there was going to be a weddress. He seeks a bride? To join him, I think he has... designs to take over the Timwood

and turn it to a land of death. What kind of brides he looking for? Yeah. Perhaps clammy. Like a mean green naked machine? Lammy. Yes. That's just what the prophecy foretold.

Oh, I wish I had, I wish I could weigh to my studies of holistic philosophy, alchemy, the occult. Hold on, wait, I just want to make sure that I'm understanding. If anybody else, it's from me. I'm a little slow sometimes. You're saying that the prophecy literally said, what was it, mean, green?

Naked machine. Naked machine. Naked machine said that in those words. Wow. My ancient outchemical test. And how would a mean green naked machine know that they had been marked by the count as a potential bride? And at what point did you mean?

The shadow would linger over them, and they would awake two marks on the chast. Like nipples. You saying that them, not me, but that person would just have to have two nipples? Well, I'm out. The prophecy did not say. It doesn't make any sense.

I have two nipples. I believe he seeks to move into a spooky mansion somewhere and begin casting his shadow over the dim wood. making it the dimest wood. Oh! No, not the dimest wood. I see, I see. He needs a patent lawyer probably.

I mean, that's just good marketing. Oh, he's gonna patent the dimmest wood. I think he's gonna patent the dimest wood before he takes it over. Well, it's better than the softest wood. It's certainly a better name. I mean, it's not bad. We can have that whipped up for him pretty quick.

I know what you mean. He has bound a demon to himself. How did you do that? Fowl demon, I dare not speak its name. Are you sure? I get a feeling you wanna say its name. I'm getting that vibe. You're gonna die, see you just better say it.

His name, the most evil creature I've ever encountered in my studies. Seer cool. Whoa, that's the name of a demon. Seer cool? Seer cool. It sounds like the name of a demon. Damn, that's cool as hell.

Yeah, Seer Cool. Wow, that really is Seer Cool. Is there a Seer Cooler. Is there gonna be a Seer Cooler later? You must stop, Count Morlock. He is a creature of the night, but he has a weakness. What? What is it? He must rest and sleep in the grave dirt he was first buried in before he hears the cocks crow.

The what? The what? The cocks crow? No, I do. Oh, he's dying. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. And he leads for her.

Hey, Professor. Professor Von Fuzz. Hey, come on. I think he got the prophecy wrong. You okay? Why? I don't think it's the, I don't think it's the cocks crow. I think it's the crow's cock.

Hmm. Hey, Professor, are you dead? Are you okay? Wake up. Oh, that guy just died in front of him. Hey, I look around, is there like a pebble or anything on the ground? Oh, yeah, there's like... I pick up some pebbles and I, hey, I just start trying to hit him with the pet.

Hey, wake up. You all right? Wake up. I'm just bouncing pebbles on this board. He's gonna shit himself in a second. Back up. Everybody back up. Everybody back up. Hey, hey.

There it is. There it is. Right on schedule. It's like potpork. No. Unbelievable. I'm real. Why are you watching this? You should really think about that.

Don't you have anything better? Yeah, get out of here. Like 2,000 B-B. He's going to go in. Oh, yeah, he's gone. There it is. I guess that confirms it. He's dead. The possessor is gone.

Dead. It's terrible. Now what? We should probably keep going. Do you think that was... Sorry, Bitsy, go ahead. Can we still think we need to find his grandson or whatever? Nah.

I wouldn't worry about that. Let's not, no, let's pretend he never mentioned it. No, I mean, what are we gonna say? We watched your grandpa die and then shit himself? That's probably not what he wants. There are quite a few other things going on and telling the grandson his grandpa shit himself to death. And then we threw rocks at him.

Well, you know, pebbles. It was just to make sure he was okay. It was more than needed. But he wasn't okay. He didn't make sure of him anyway. I was trying. I was trying. You've been rocked so hard to shit himself.

No, he was like lob the pebbles. No, not only did we see a guy die in front of us, but I lost the game. What game did you lose? The game. Which one? Well, back home there's a game that we played in New Felicia called Two Old Cat,

and you can't win. But if you ever find a cat that's too too old, you lose. And this cat is too old. Cat's dead, so does it still count? Yeah, that's the bold is kind of old. And there's no winning? No, there's no winning.

Why play a game you can't win? Well, I play any game. It's just for fun. It's kind of fun. It's kind of like, eh. None of this seems fine. He's dead and he shit himself. And he's too old.

Guys, this is going to sound really weird, but my The key's ready again. Oh, we can get you out now. Should we go inside? No, save it. If we've only got one more use for another 30, 20, 30 minutes, save it. Yeah, and I mean, what are we gonna do?

Drag his shit-covered body out. All right. So, speaking of his shit-covered body, do you think he was telling the truth? About Seer Cool? Yeah, about the demon and about this guy, wanting to bride and all that stuff and needing to patent his idea of the dimmest wood.

Who else? Wait, didn't you mention the shadow as part of your dream? Oh, yeah, that's the thing that our old pal Jean-Claude fucked last night. No, he just got ghosts with chains and stuff. That's totally different than what you said. No, I said that with the shadow came in

and it tried to have sex with me, and I told it had a headache, so it went over to John Claude's room and had sex with him instead. Oh, but it did come to your room. Yeah, it bit me right here on my chest. Oh, that's not good. Yeah, you see that? Is that infected?

They say too dark. Most certainly it is. John, too. Yeah, almost looks like I got frog nipples. It's oozing a black eye cool. I know, it isches. Stop scratching it. You're making it worse.

I can't help it, it's itchy. Oh. Oh, God. Isn't that the prophecy? Like, an old prophecy thing? No, I don't think so. Well, hopefully it's just a weird coincidence because... We gotta find Wygore.

Didn't he come down here? He'll have some answers. Do we want to just scream his name and see if he comes running? Couldn't hurt. Weigar! Hey, Wygore! Whygore! Is there a door on the far side of the dungeon?

No, there's just one door. The door he came in. Oh. Well, this was fun. Yeah. There's gotta be a secret door somewhere. All right, well, look for one. Does that? It has to be one.

It has to be one. Why would the Count tell us to come down here? He came down here. Where do you fucking go? Go these stairs. Oh, there he is. Right on time. One

a time, why go you get to us? Are you given your aliaster to Siku? Put a blast. Hey, we're on agreement. The master has nourished you. Breaks a hip. We just finish him off.

The master has nourished you. I'm having the death of this key. Put him out of his misery. Oh, he has nourished you to life. Here he comes. 12th, once more. Do you have a salve for this bite wound on my chest? Hey, Waggaugh.

Hey, Wigaw. Oh, I need to de-scale that dang. Magaritoville machine. Mr. Gore. Oh, I'm coming. I'm coming. None shall enter the dungeon. We're in here now.

The dungeon is forbidden. He's still going. I'm coming, I'm coming. Hurry up. Hurry up. I'm coming. We don't have all day. Boss, hey, we're trying to get out of here.

The dungeon is, no visitors in the dungeon, especially in the premium skeletons poker game. Death reigns here. I'm coming. He sounds like he's not getting any closer. You hear him. We should meet him after. You hear him going. Yeah, let's just go to him.

We don't go. We make our way. We meet him 90s, 10. You meet him halfway up the stairs. Ah, yes. How are you this dungeon's forbidden? The accountant told us to come down here. Oh.

Yeah, we talked to him on that. We had cat phone in his Renfield room. You went to his Renfield. Collectible room. Yeah. It was a limited edition Renfield phone. Stance reason. It even had like a little sidekick phone

his little gray sidekick named Wormel. A little wormhole. Oh, wormhole. What? Read the telephone book with this fucking voice. It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter what you say it's so fucking funny. Wormel.

Oh, worm. Will she do, or is it he? I'm not really sure. Well, either way, Wormelwood, who will they do next? The master has requested, now that we are done in the catacombs below the cathedral, administering the necropolis, Icourt. The dead.

The feast upon bread and salt. The time is nine. It's now, it's finally now. Something about tassels. Wait a minute. You didn't have talked to any strange cat down there, did you? No, but there's a dead cat that shit himself. Yeah, he's dead.

Oh, he always does that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, he always does. Thank you for clamifying. Thank you. He's always doing that. You're like, hold on. Perfect merch idea, booty shorts with death rains here. But, yeah.

Can you take a hint? Oh, so he's just sleeping. Oh, if he does it all the time, maybe he falls asleep. No, I don't know. He seemed really dead. Oh, he's still alone. I should have used the key. Oh.

Well, I will guide you to the feast hall. Okay. The master is eager to meet you. Okay. Oh, okay. Time is nigh, as they say, right? Is the master okay? He was breathing real heavy.

Oh, the master is the peasant. The piece of... Oh. I have been summoned. Again? You have to away again? I'll say we're definitely going to just follow it. Yeah, we're coming to start.

We're following me and something do. We can't seem to get the heck out of you without following my following. Follow me to the feast talk. Okay. Oh, my God. Lead the way. Jesus Christ. He just walked so slow.

I just... It's probably the gout. Oh! His feet look like they're gonna explode. Yeah, that's bad. How do we have blood or riches but not cherries? One wrong stumped tone. It's all over for him. It should pop like grapes.

Oh. Oh. Oh. We follow him. He does this for 20 minutes. Here's the door. This place was forbidden, we told you. Thank you.

They specifically did state that this place is forbidden. I don't know. There was some confusion. It's not clear. Okay, where's my soul key? Which one? Which one? He pulled out of ring of keys and one is like a horrific

nightmarish, like freaking soul key. I never tell. Like way bigger than you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it that one? Oh, how did you know? True. You know me.

I've only is like that big a titty nun. Hey, you too. I'm right there with you and I really come in my eye. Good taste, I guess. All right. This way. This way. Oh, the catacombs, oh, call to me.

Dells talk for the dead. We had two new guests arrive. Oh, we did? I administered the Icourt to them. They will be stirring soon. Oh, that's... Oh, there they are. Some in four.

Pilot head. Lead the way. We're up behind you. Oh, yes. We keep following. Slowly. Oh, will you assist? Will you assist me in the catacombs?

It is for Pidim. Follow me. This guy's losing it. I can't follow anything he's saying. We're not going to the... The feast, you said to the feast. Oh, well, let's hold the other side. We may as well just make a quick detour.

We've been summoned. The bells. The bells told. Death rings. And we said we would have. Help, so yet, well, let's go to the house. No, we didn't agree to help, brother. No, come.

They're feeding us dinner. A lovely feast. He said, we had to leave, and we have to do the laymen. I like both of those things. Well, they're good, but it's hardly what I'd call a feast. Well, maybe there'd be a lot of it. I mean, I could eat a lot of bread and a lot of salt. I don't know about you.

Well, you lead the way we'll follow, all right? You're in charge here, unfortunately. He leads you outside the castle gates and through the courtyard, There's a very small door along the wall, and he opens it, and the breeze hits you as you peer down into a complete pitch black abyss. There's a very small treacherous stone staircase going down along this huge elevation of rock that this castle is built on. And he walks around to the other side of the castle, and you can see this large cathedral-looking structure built into the side of the cliff, and you see the large bell tower.

It is in shades of strange purple. As, as, as, as, he guides you, and it doesn't take you into the main cathedral, but there's a small door on the other side. Oh, these are the forbidden catacombs. Do not enter here. Follow me. Could you maybe just wait outside Will I do my thing?

No, no. We came all this way, we're going with you. I'll be honest, we're not going to do you. We're going to help. Yeah, you want to help but not. You're begging for it. I know. Classic.

I can never tell you no. Folks. He leads you down below and you see, and you enter this network of catacomone There's numerous skulls that are lining these walls, and eventually you find a row of these crypts that are flanking on either side.

At the very far end is this incredibly ornate, massive crypt at the very end that's adorned with spears and sigils of greatness. And he guides you with his lantern as he... Wait, who goes there? Okay, just check me. Really? Really? As a, come, come.

And he guides you to the crypts. And you see the two large bowls that he had had that are empty. They still have some of that blue-green sludge in them, and the ladle inside as he guides you to these two crypts that are open. And you see inside their lips are stained with this blue-green. You see the small vowl and the gray crow, their corpses. As he looks in and says, Oh, they are ready.

I see. You have not witnessed this. You are forbidden to witness this. He grabs his ladle. There's another bowl. He says, here's the necropolis. And he pours into the mouth of each one is the mouth. They just open and they close.

And then he raises. his hand, it goes, Ha-Glas, Salgas, Seekulat, and Morlock, Hachak, live,

live, live, mace. I can see both of them open their eyes, and that's one the session.

He's going to die. I can't wait until I get ceased and assistant. Oh, man. Thanks for on the session, Thank you.

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